#no vaseline isn't any better

[flying-cat]

I CAN'T FUCKING STANDDDDDD LOTION ON MY SKIN HURRY UP AND ABSORB HURRY UPPPPP I NEED THIS FEELING OFF OF ME NOW

[traegorn]

Going from Script to Page

(originally posted to my personal blog)

So the big difference between Peregrine Lake and my earlier comics is, obviously, that I'm not the one drawing it. When I was doing my earlier comics, I never wrote down what I was planning, I just had it in my head and would translate it directly to the page. At most I'd write one sentence lines about strips so I could plot out pacing. I did a few thumbnails early on to figure out page layouts, but more often than not the pages didn't exist in any form until I wrote them. That obviously isn't a way we can work for this comic. I can't sit there over Ethan's ( @wistfolie ) shoulder while they draw, since that would be weird and we don't live in the same city. So I do what comic writers have been doing for quite some time. I write scripts. That's where every page for Peregrine Lake starts. Then, if Ethan needs any clarification on a description or has an alternate suggestion for a setting or scene, we talk about it. But again, we start by my writing a script. So I thought it might be fun to take a look at a recent installment and compare the final art to the initial script I wrote. Our example is the October 22nd page titled "Greg." It is, unsurprisingly, the first page where we see the final of our four main characters. I love this page, but let's see the initial script:

Panel 1 Greg emerges from the curtained doorway. Tall panel. If this were television or film, we'd smear some Vaseline on the lens for the best gooey soft focus shot we could get. God damn, we want everyone seeing this to want a piece of Greg. Like take a second slice home in a take out box and eat it while watching Netflix. Let's make this far more detailed than any other panel. Let's get people to demand we print this man on body pillows. Panel 2 Close up of Bev's face. She wants to just lay Greg down and cover him in butter. Bev: (tiny ass words, whispering to self) Yeah... not talking good. Panel 3 Greg leans on the counter towards Lynn, Bev is... "reacting" quietly, but no one's paying her any attention Greg: Hey Lynn, Bob hasn't gotten me those antique iron nails yet. I said I'd call when they come in. Lynn: Thanks, but not what I'm here for. I may have an... off the books job for you Greg: How off the books Panel 4 Close up of Lynn. Lynn is very serious. Lynn: Off the books off the books. Greg, this is my new friend Bev. Panel 5 Back to a shot of the three of them, Greg turns to Bev smiling Greg: Hi! Nice to meet you. Bev: (tiny words) Hello tall man

Yep. That is... that is pretty close to what we got. We moved some of the dialogue around to fit better with the art (moving some of Greg's stuff to panel one from panel three), but overall we stick pretty true to it. Ethan read my ridiculous descriptions and understood the assignment. And yeah, I think it's safe to assume at least some of our audience wants a piece of Greg now.

[indigo-a-creeping]

Day 9

Solo recovery is going well. Thankfully I'm a quick healer. This is nowhere near as bad as hysterectomy recovery was.

Getting lots of little tingly sensations as my nerves reconnect. It's not a bad feeling, kind of like lots of little springs, or like droplets of water rolling down my chest. But one thing that helps if it's bothering me is lightly tapping/drumming my fingertips across my incision (through the binder).

I pushed myself harder than I needed to for most of my first week, because I wanted to see things around San Francisco. Now that I'm home, I'm settling into more of what I probably should be doing - a walk with my dog in the morning (~20 minutes), some gentle physical therapy stretches (for both feet and chest), and a shorter walk in the afternoon/evening, plus walking around the house/yard. Having a small, well-behaved dog is super helpful, too. I can direct him with my voice and he doesn't pull at the leash much (and if he does, he's only 15 lbs and I can negotiate with him).

I definitely lifted more than was recommended in the first week, and I'm doing less of that now too. I haven't seen or felt any effects from that, but it's possible that my scars will stretch. I'm not terribly concerned about that, though. I left a lot of stuff behind when I left, but ended up with it in a backpack for the airport/plane rather than a hand-held bag. I think that was a good choice, with the options I had.

I've had good range of motion since day 1, and the t-rex arms I heard so much about are not quite the case. It's more that I can't lift my elbows above my shoulders, which isn't a huge deal. One thing I have trouble with is reaching across my chest, but that will improve as I heal.

I drove a little last night, which was successful though I need to be sure to use smaller motions on the steering wheel.

I wasn't really taught how to put on my binder or take care of my incisions (and didn't ask because I'm bad at that), but I've figured it out. I was given some gauze and vaseline gauze that I've been using, and some Aquaphor I need to use more. I have a continuous incision that goes pretty far back behind each armpit and joins in the middle, so it takes a lot of gauze and some work in front of the mirror. I took my first real shower last night, carefully making sure the water didn't hit the incision directly, and it was successful!

One thing I've seen recommended a lot is working on chest muscles before top surgery, and that does help the surgeon get the contours right... I didn't do much of that, and my incision looks great at this point. What I didn't see was working on lower body muscles, which I'm better at. Doesn't do a thing for the surgical site, but it helps a lot when you need to do things for yourself. I never had much trouble getting out of bed, and I can pick up things off the floor without any issues. Do some squats before surgery, it helps!

I'm still getting a lot of swelling here and there, mostly arms and legs. I cut back my sodium intake, but not as low as it could be. If I feel a limb getting too swollen I stretch it around to make sure I maintain circulation. Generally they swell and reduce in a matter of minutes (and swell again).

People often have trouble pooping after anesthesia, and when taking narcotic pain meds. I didn't this time, which I attribute to oatmeal, kombucha, large quantities of hot tea, and moving around. Wiping was tricky at first, but I managed and it's gotten easier.

For the most part I'm trying to just listen to my body. I feel good! A little tired overall, but I'm still adjusting to time zones too. I'm still taking tylenol, but no other meds. I had a little pain when I woke up, but tylenol took care of that. Lots of fluids, protein, and fiber are essential.

[boxingcleverrr]

So with the mind-boggling hilarity of people feeling the need to defend taking care of their skin, I wanted to do an update of my original skincare post. That I of course can't find, presently, as the search function on this site is still useless!

First of all, come to terms with the fact that you are walking around with a giant organ on the outside of your body (ahurhurhur).

Yes, preventing skin cancer is priority one when it comes to your dermis. Sunscreen isn't the only defense, having skin with a healthy moisture barrier is part of that prevention as well. ALSO, one thing a lot of those posts desperately yelping "It'S nOt BeAuTy StAnDaRdS!" leave out is, uh, the scary shit that can happen to your skin when you're elderly. Your skin WILL get thinner, that's just aging. Taking care of it now (keeping it stretchy and moisturized) gives it a better chance of not being paper-thin, to the point that the person taking care of you has to be mindful not to freaking tear it off of you just helping you get dressed.

If you have a strong stomach, go ahead and read some stories from hospice and other types of elder care workers. There's a whole contraption for lowering people down slowly if they're about to fall, all to prevent skin splitting or sloughing off.

Age spots are beautiful. Care-worn wrinkles and laugh lines are beautiful. Your arm skin sloughing off like a glove is not.

Fucking moisturize.

Is a side effect of that care often fewer of those lines? Sure, MAYBE, sometimes. It also doesn't at ALL require 18 expensive steps. Even before I left my job I was mainly using the best I could find for the least amount of money. Almost everything listed I've been using for over a year at least! Aldi-brand skincare is amazingly quality, as you'll see.

Washing:

Lacura Foaming Gel Cleanser: Super gentle and nice for a daily face wash. When I want to use it as a makeup-remover, I'll pump it into a super-soft sea sponge so I can scrub a bit more, albeit gently.

I don't get big breakouts much at this point (regular cleansing and moisturizing will usually chill your skin out eventually re: feeling the need to over-produce oil). But I do keep some Neutrogena Face Wash around for when I get breakouts anywhere, maybe a handful of times a month.

I don't know how much benefit I REALLY see from toner, as far as my pores. They seem fine! Mostly I just loooove the feeling of swiping it on fresh from the fridge, and the coolness does calm down the skin and sooth any puffiness. I still make my own Rosewater Toner with wilting discount grocery store roses and a few drops of lavender oil.

Goops:

Lacura Day And/Or Night Creams: These are SO AFFORDABLE (I'm using Amazon links for ease of reference, they are WAY cheaper directly from Aldi) and make your skin feel like butter. After washing and toning one or the other is what I glop on next, and a little goes a long way. Night cream is important because the skin under your eyes especially is so super thin, it needs that protection as we get older. But eye creams tend to be STUPID EXPENSIVE. Lacura is around $4 at Aldi and I legit see very little difference between it and the unsustainably expensive ones I've tried in the past.

Ponds Dry Skin Cream: The old reliable. I have used it since I was 19 and Oprah said it was good, lol. If you use nothing else on your face, use this (but also sunscreeen, dear gods). After Day or Night cream, this comes next.

A good rule of thumb for all moisturizers is that you don't want it to disappear into your skin immediately OR stay too greasy. As I've gotten older, this one sits on my skin longer, so I tend to only use it at night in the summer. Once it gets cold and dry out, though, morning and night baby.

Vaseline Cocoa Radiant: For the all-over-rest-of-me, you really can't beat it. After every shower or bath, all over everything, damnit. LUBE YOUR DERM.

Oil:

Olive Oil Squalane: My last step of the night is topping my face with a good Squalane before bed. My old job discontinued the one I swear by, pictured above, which, I have no idea why? It feels soooo nice and I saw such good results in the winter especially. I bought up a bunch of bottles from work before it disappeared, haha but there are soooo many options out there for a lot of different prices. Basically you want the main ingredients to be Olive Oil & Herbs, usually Rosemary.

Treat Yourself Tier:

Innersense Harmonic Treatment Oil: I was given a gift card to them for my birthday last year, and yeah they're reeeeeally wom-wom and a little insufferable in their marketing, and they're expensive. HOWEVER, this stuff is infuriatingly great? Nothing was helping my dry scalp until this. I use it instead of the Squalane maybe once a week on my face as well, and it definitely clears up any redness or irritation right away. How dare it be good and also $25 an ounce. But if you can treat yourself, why not!

Dead Sea Mud Masks: Masks are FUN, damnit. If you can ignore all the annoying "detoxing" claims and blah blah, it is a fact that mud masks can really flush out those pores. And they feel nice!

General Habits:

Wash Your Pillowcases: They're full of your face goo, skin cells, and slobber. Not only good for your skin, but just nice. Wash your sheets/bedding more regularly in general, if you're like me then I know you're not doing it enough. Make the change to fragrance-free detergent now if you haven't already, that shit could start bothering your skin at ANY time. My mother never had a problem with good ol' Tide, until she turned 60 and suddenly ANY fragranced soaps made her skin explode.

Wash Your Makeup Tools: Same as above, I regularly gross myself out watching all the GUNK that's stored in the pretty pink makeup brushes.

Wash Hats, Headbands, Etc: Hopefully the pattern is sinking in. If it touches your skin regularly? It should be washed regularly. It's easy to remember that your clothes do, of course, but there's so many other things as well that are fulla your skin cells, various products, pollution, and sebum. Scientists could probably clone you with access to the inner band of your favorite hat alone.

SUN SCREEN: EVERY TIME YOU GO OUT IN VIEW OF THE FIRE ORB. Sensitive face/skin? Baby sunscreen. I know texture is a big thing for people, but there are lots of different brands out there that have lots of different textures, ingredients, scents, etc. Don't give up on it just because Coppertone makes you break out, you owe it to yourself to find the thing that works for you. Skin cancer is a bitch that spares no one, not even Hugh Nicest Man Ever Jackman.

Drink Water: You know it, I know it, same as above, find the way to get regular hydration in that works for you. I personally like making my own fruity flavored syrups to dash in things. Hydrated skin begins from within, blah blah blah.

Vitamins: Take a multi-vitamin, get your vitamin D. The sun is not BEAMING VITAMINS INTO YOUR PORES, it synthesis it. A quick google will tell you that 8-10 minutes in the sun A DAY is all you need. So don't let anyone tell you BUT YOUR VITAMIN D!!!!!!! when you're layering on your sun screen. Take your vitamins, get a teaspoon of sun regularly, and then GOOP UP.

I'm no expert, just someone with a mother & grandmother who greatly regret/regretted their lack of skin care as younger women. My mom is 75 and she has lines and spots, and she's beautiful! But her skin can tear after a clumsy trip into a door frame. She's listening to her dermatologist now to the letter, and I too would like to avoid that as much as possible! We all deserve to like how our spongy flesh prisons feel.

[dinoburger]

a couple folks who watched me mess around with crafts and amateur mask making thought I should document the process, idk if anyone would be interested in all that here, but it was a process alright.

I wanted to try to do it as cheap as possible while trying to aim for the best quality I could, most of what I bought for it was just a styrofoam head to build off as a base, some cheap plasticine that feels nasty and greasy and smells unpleasant but it's reusable at least, some plaster, PVA glue and some little tubs of glaze and gesso.

I decided I was going to try using that diy recycled craft paper I've seen people make so that was a whole tangent. I never liked that newspaper strips as paper mache just kind of peel and make things nasty, which isn't what I wanted. I figured not having a grain in the same way, being softer and more pliable would be the advantage of diy paper.

I made a deckle and mould by dismantling a shallow rectangular jewelry box I picked up off the side of the road with a hammer - pretty, uhm, roughly, I only meant to take the bottom out of the box and the top out of the lid so I'd have two matching frames, but kind of smashed it to bits, I found a bunch of bulldog clips to hold it back together. The rig works, but it's chaotic at best, hahaha

I absolutely wasn't going to use the blender for making paper pulp, I found a beat up old stick mixer that broken down entirely not long after I'd started using it. I mainly made my pulp by squashing it up with my hands after letting it soak for 12 hours, which took at least a couple of hours to do myself. I tried also mashing it up like how the ancient Greeks made wine: by putting it in a tub and stomping, but I can't say that was particularly effective and mostly it made an ungodly mess.

So, I built my mask's face off the styrofoam head and cast it in plaster, which worked well except that the nose broke. Combination of not using enough to reinforce that area and the fact that I used a strip of cardboard to support the plasticine I built up for the nose, and it absorbed the dampness of the wet plaster and kind of... exacerbated the problem I think by making it structurally less stable.

The casting tutorial suggested vaseline to grease the inside of the mold but I wasn't sure we had any so I substituted with a chunk of soap I cut off a bar and made into a paste. I think that worked fine.

my first cast wasn't great, I pulled the mask out too quickly and the texture of all the paper that was stuck to the inside and then quickly stuck back to the mask lost a lot of the details. I also tried building up some of the damaged parts with this one - definitely better to cast well the first time than try to fix a botched mask, it lost even more integrity because of how the wet paper being added and extra weight made it lose shape. The whole bridge of the nose kind of collapsed in on itself.

The second cast I did with pure paper pulp since I had lots of it left, and it crumbled apart when I pulled it out, but even the chunks of it I had were much more promising - they felt smooth and got more of the details of the wrinkles in the plaster mould.

Third one is the one in the post linked above, a layer of pulp followed by diy paper strips... idk what it is, you'd expect it to be sort of similar since one is just dried out paper pulp, but something about the process of letting it form a kind of membrane on the surface of the deckle before drying it gives it a more cohesive quality. I used plenty of paste in this run too.

The nose unfortunately still had to be rebuilt at the tip but I was cautious not to get any of the other bits of the mask wet. I think 48 hours is probably like, Bare Minimum for drying time, especially for more porous materials - I'm currently drying a fifth one, the fourth was cast with pulp I made from bark just for the hell of it, and it was still pretty damp even after sitting it in front of the gas heater on and off for 2 days. I mean hell, I have the mould now, might as well use it.

I also tried to recast the nose so we'll see if that works, it wasn't too much of an ordeal to stick some plasticine in there and try to reshape it.

The first cast also ended up being my decorating test run, I wanted to see if just glazing over sharpie instead of painting would work - it's alright, but there's probably better techniques. The thing about drawing anything elaborate directly onto the mask is that it's hard to get pen into the wrinkles, you're better drawing on paper separately and decoupaging it on I reckon.

Oh, did you know sharpie marker bleeds through gesso and acrylic paint? I've tried to paint over stuff and it always kind of amazes me how penetrative alcoholic pen marks are when the paint dries, even when applied really thick.

I managed to draw on the gold lines with metallic sharpie in my first run but it didn't work the second time - I think drawing over paint might have damaged the marker? - so I sort of improvised with the metallic string. My mum likes collecting ribbons and strings and coloured paper for gifts so I nicked a bunch of those things. The pansy bead on the forehead came from a button shop and the tiny one on the bridge of the nose actually came from my great grandmother's collection of beads that I inherited :')

Ah, and the staining - before I went over with a medium gloss glaze I tried to get that, what is it, distressed? varnished? that kind of darker brown that makes the masks look aged and gets into the crevices, emphasizing the wrinkles very nicely. I tried tea and coffee as a kind of stain, the coffee worked a lot better - there's still some grains stuck around the mask's cheek, haha. I also used the coffee to stain the skewers I'm thinking of using for quills (they aren't completely stuck on yet.

The thread is partially pushed through the mask to keep it in place and make sure it doesn't just peel off, I used pins to pin it to the mask and pva glue to keep it in position, removing the pins after it dried. I stitched the ribbon onto the back before I glued it down and sealed it all over with gesso. I'm not 100% on how sturdy it is but I'm hoping it holds.

... I think that's where I'm at with it so far, I might decorate the "quills" more with beads or something. idk yet.

[marydontweep]

Mystery of Love

word count: 1,754

tw: implied infidelity

pairing: black male!oc x white male!oc

December, 1976

New York's weather seldom offers mercy.

The harsh, icy winter wind whips at the areas of exposed flesh on Emmett's body. His nose is beginning to take on a red hue, and a stinging numbness takes over his ears. He curses himself for being so ill prepared for the cold temperature. Nevertheless, Emmett stands his ground against the cruel climate. He won't give Mother Nature the satisfaction of stealing this long awaited moment away from him.

For months, loneliness had pierced his heavy heart. Phone calls, letters, and late night fantasies weren't enough to satiate Emmett's growing need. He just had to lay his eyes upon the object of his affection. Emmett wanted─no, needed to lose himself in his lover's rich brown irises. He longed for the all too familiar scent of baby oil and Vaseline that he was now accustomed to. He craved the feeling of soft yet aggressive lips moving in synchronicity with his own. Oh, how Emmett wants to thread his fingers through those silky ebony curls as the words I love you fell carelessly from his tongue.

But he must play it safe.

Their relationship, or whatever you'd call it, is a blooming rose. Though the physical aspect had been explored, the emotional aspect is fresh territory. Emmett would feel dreadfully silly making a declaration of his undying love just to be met with rejection. A fleeting moment alone with his lover in the shadows of uncertainty is better than nothing at all.

"I ain't been here since I was a little boy." Alexandre speaks, slicing through the silence with swift abruptness.

Emmett, languidly swinging himself back and forth on the swing set, looks at the younger man. The silvery light of the moon beams brilliantly upon Alexandre's honey glazed skin, casting a divine glow while his dark colored eyes twinkle beneath its luminance. Instead of pulling it into a ponytail, Alexandre lets his voluminous sea of black waves flow freely down his back. Since day one Emmett had found Alexandre's outward appearance very appealing, but tonight the young man is a sculptor's reverie.

Shifting awkwardly, Alexandre continues to talk. "Me and my brothers used to play here every day after school. Sometimes we'd lose track of time, and our momma would come looking for us. Man, we sure were a wild bunch!" He states gleefully, chuckling as he recalls the memory.

Alexandre's sudden urge to share tidbits of his childhood delights and surprises Emmett. Aside from his Afro-French parentage and New York upbringing, Emmett knows next to nothing about Alexandre's life, if he’s being frank. He is an enigma. A mystery waiting to be solved. To be honest, Alexandre's private nature reminds Emmett of himself. He too prefers to keep most parts of his life concealed. It was this commonality that piqued his interest in Alexandre.

Alas, Emmett can't resist the surge of curiosity brewing within him. He wants to peer into the very depths of Alexandre's mind, uncovering every moment of his life.

"How many brothers do you have?" Emmett blurts out. Immediately, trepidation settles into his bones. He really didn't mean to ask that question, but like vomit the words had come rushing out of his mouth.

"Well, you met Charlie already," Alexandre begins, absentmindedly tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "And I got another brother. Plus, a sister. So, that's two brothers and one sister."

What are their names? Are they younger or older?

"What about you?" Alexandre questions. "Do you have any siblings?"

Emmett nods. "I have a younger sister."

A toothy smile forms on Alexandre's face. His teeth are pearly white and unbelievably straight. "That's one more thing we have in common."

"Yeah," Emmett fights back his own smile. "I─I guess it is."

Silence dawns upon them again. It isn't an uncomfortable silence either. The silence is quite peaceful. During the moment of tranquility, Emmett sneaks glances in Alexandre's direction. With his chin resting in his palm and his eyebrows furrowed, the young man appears to be deep in thought. Emmett wonders what is going on inside that pretty little head of his. The need to gain insight into the innerworkings of Alexandre's brain is almost overwhelming. Emmett, however, swallows the questions that threaten to spill from his lips.

In due time...

Without warning, Alexandre stands up from the swing. He walks towards Emmett, stopping to stand in front of him. Two long, slender fingers are propped under Emmett's chin, gently guiding his head upwards. Emmett shivers at the sensation of cold fingers against his skin. Alexandre's eyes bore into Emmett's with the intensity of a wildlife, burning through to his very core. Emmett's heart pounds savagely against his ribcage, and his hands become damp with perspiration. He can feel the butterflies violently fluttering around in his stomach. The power Alexandre holds over him─over his emotions is immense.

Emmett opens his mouth to say something─anything, but he struggles to formulate a coherent sentence. So, he utters not a single word. Emmett remains quiet as a mouse while Alexandre's fingers trace the line of his jaw. His touch is gentle. Careful. As if he is outlining the edges of a precious, invaluable drawing. Emmett's heart swells at the mere idea of being compared to a work of art.

Alexandre's other hand takes a hold of Emmett's hand, squeezing lightly. The younger man's hand is ice cold, but Emmett doesn't mind. He savors the pure intimacy of Alexandre's touch.

"Come on," Alexandre beckons, pulling Emmett off the swing. "I wanna show you something."

Emmett follows Alexandre to his car, getting into the passenger's side as Alexandre gets behind the wheel. The drive is relatively short─approximately four minutes, if Emmett had to guess. Therefore, Emmett doesn't have much of a chance to see most of the surrounding neighborhood through the window. He makes a mental note to ask Alexandre for a tour of Harlem the next time he is in New York.

Alexandre parks the car in a lot near a rundown apartment building. Emmett throws him a confused glance.

"Um, what am I supposed to be looking at, darling?" He asks, his tone light-hearted yet he wonders why the fuck they are there.

In response to Emmett's confusion, Alexandre laughs. He laughs like Emmett had just told the funniest joke in the world.

"The thing I wanna show you is inside the building, baby." Alexandre explains after regaining his composure.

An inaudible 'oh' comes from Emmett.

Great. Now he probably thinks I'm a ninny!

They exit the vehicle with Alexandre leading the way. Upon closer inspection, the building doesn't look as tattered and ugly. It still isn't pleasing to the eye, but it certainly looks better. The inside of the building isn't too bad either. Though Emmett is upset to discover that the lift (or, as Alexandre had referred to it, the elevator) isn't in service. Walking up three flights of stairs is not something that Emmet enjoyed. Nevertheless, he braves through it.

"Here it is! Apartment 306." Alexandre exclaims. He takes out a key from his coat pocket, hurriedly unlocking the wooden door. When Alexandre enters the apartment, Emmett is close behind him.

Alexandre turns on the lights, revealing a seemingly untouched living room. Plastic covers the furniture, the glass coffee table practically sparkles in the light, and not even a hair follicle resides on the cream colored carpet. In other words, there are no signs of anyone having lived here.

Placing his coat on the coat rack, Alexandre is brimming with excitement. "This is the apartment I grew up in," he moves to stand behind Emmett, his tall, skinny build towering over the older man. "I got it fixed up two weeks ago. Now, I don't really be here all that much, but I didn't want somebody else renting my childhood home."

"It's a lovely place," is all that Emmett can manage to say. Truthfully speaking, he is struggling to contain his exhilaration. Emmett feels like Alexandre is beginning to shed his walls, leaving his heart vulnerable to Emmett's deep affection.

“Thanks,” Alexandre replies, striding over to a tall, black shelf filled with vinyl records.

Alexandre begins rummaging through the ample collection of records. He is indecisive, taking out a record then putting it back not a minute later. Finally, something catches his eye─or at least Emmett hopes so. Alexandre turns towards Emmett with the record in hand. It's The Beatles' “And I Love Her” 1964 single.

Emmett can't bite back the grin that spreads across his face. "But I thought you hated The Beatles."

Alexandre sucks his teeth. "Hate is a strong word, Emmett," he says as he places the record on the record player. "They're talented musicians, but I just don't think they all that." Alexandre puts the needle on the record.

Emmett shrugs. "To each his own."

"I saw the single in the record store yesterday," Alexandre begins, talking in a hushed tone while Paul McCartney's dulcet, euphonious voice drifts throughout the room. He is now standing face to face with Emmett. "And I remembered how you loved The Beatles, so I brought it. It turned out to be a nice little tune, if I'm being for real." He lets out a short, awkward chuckle. There's an underlying timidity in Alexandre's entire demeanor. He seems uncomfortable as the words leave his mouth.

"Oh, well, that's very sweet of you, Alex." Emmett says, feeling the heat rising in his cheeks.

The younger man doesn't respond, but the glint in his eyes speaks volumes.

A love like ours could never die...

Alexandre steps closer, bridging the gap between them. He holds out his hand for Emmett to take. Emmett takes it without hesitation, allowing himself to be engulfed in a gentle embrace. He rests his head on Alexandre's chest. The thumping of his heart is strong─comforting even.

Dark is the sky...

As they slowly move to the melody, Emmett feels a shift in them both. The doubt that tore away at him from the very beginning is dissipating. Emmett can see, clear as day, the beautiful and vibrant scarlet petals of that rose blossoming beneath the radiant glow of their union.

I know this love of mine will never die...

Emmett has never felt this way before. Sure, he cares for his fiancée Claire, but the emotions Alexandre awakens within him are completely different. It feels right. He knows it's right. Anything this wonderful could never be wrong.

And I love her.

Love could never be wrong.

[queen-cchaos]

ALL ABOUT THAT ASS

Let's talk about anal! Specifically pegging because well when doing anal it's me having a dude bent over and him taking my strap on up the ass. So in today's post we're going to cover a few different points related to pegging and if you'd like for me to go in depth regarding something covered just ask!

First and foremost pegging doesn't make you gay! Yes, a dildo is a replica of a dick but it's not a flesh and blood dick and if you don't find men attractive, or sexy, or fuckable you aren't gay. You just enjoy getting your back door banged down. It makes sense considering how a guy's pleasure button is shoved up there. So don't feel any shame in enjoying being pegged or wanting to be. Pegging isn't gay. If you wanna try anal with a man that might not be gay either, bisexuality and bi curious are also sexual identities that are valid and acceptable. The world isn't gay or straight, so take time figuring out yourself before exploring pegging.

Enemas! Before we plunder the booty let's clean it out. Butt stuff can be dirty, shit happens. I personally prefer a bottom use a enema before we go at it however that's optional. So be prepared for farts maybe some shit on the dildo, the bed spread, each other. It happens.

The dildo! Your eyes are always bigger than your hole! Why starting smaller works better. Don't buy a elephant when you can only fit a shrimp dick. I always say start with a dildo about the same size of your dick before working up to the larger sizes! Eventually it'll fit only takes time and practice and practice is fun!

Lube! You never wanna go spelunking dry. Dry pegging hurts and can fuck you up not in a fun way. Tearing is always a risk to your health so let's be mindful of the lube we use and how much we use. There are different kinds of lube and let's make sure we're using lube and not some random slick/liquidy shit we find lying around. No lotion, shampoo, jelly, Vaseline, cooking oils of any kind. Let's be mindful about what we're putting inside of our bodies boys and girls. Also let's not use warming lubes on the first go. You wanna get a feeling for your body's normal before adding in extra sensations. Also avoid the numbing lubes for the same reason. Let's also be mindful that oil based lubes can break down condoms and aren't the nicest for sex toys either. That leaves us silicone based lube and water based lube. Both work fine for this compared to what we just covered. I prefer water based because I just hate how silicone based lubes feel. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PRECUM/CUM IS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH LUBE FOR NOTHING SO DO NOT DO THIS. It might have looked good in porn but porn is fake, it's basically sexy wrestling.

If there is anything I missed you'd like covered don't hesitate to reach out! This is just a quick recap of the things I think are important when you consider exploring ass play, specifically pegging and this can even apply to regular old anal in most cases as well!

Remember we aim to advocate for and promote happy and healthy fetish based relationships. We also want to act in a safe, sane, and consensual manner when engaging in kink. As always the inbox is open for questions, comments, and conversation. Don't hesitate to reach out.

[kcyars99]

What’s the greatest diss track you ever heard?

PHOTOS

15 Most Shocking Diss Songs: From Taylor Swift's 'thanK you aIMee' to Gwen Stefani's 'Hollaback Girl'

Drake's 'Back to Back'

Drake pushed Meek Mill down with his diss track "Back to Back" after the latter artist called his "Charged Up" diss track "baby lotion soft."

"When I look back, I might be mad that I gave this attention / But it's weighing heavy on my conscience / And fuck, you left me with no options," Drake rapped. "I'm not sure what it was that made y'all mad / But I guess this is what I gotta do to make y'all rap."

Meek Mill also fired back by releasing his track "Wanna Know."

Drake's 'Push Ups'

In April, Drake fired at Kendrick Lamar while also targeting artists like Rick Ross, The Weeknd, J.Cole and Metro Boomin. The 37-year-old Canadian rapper responded to Lamar and mocked his features and size.

Eminem's 'Killshot'

Eminem dropped scathing bars and targeted Machine Gun Kelly in his 2018 diss track "Killshot" by highlighting his "irrelevance."

"But I'm 45 and I'm still outselling you / By 29 I had three albums that had blew / Now let's talk about somethin' I don't really do / Go in someone's daughter's mouth stealin' food," Eminem rapped.

He also made fun of MGK's man bun by delivering the line, "Here's that autograph for your daughter, I wrote it on a Starter cap / Stan, Stan, son, listen, man, Dad isn't mad / But how you gonna name yourself after a d--- gun / And have a man bun?"

Gwen Stefani's 'Hollaback Girl'

Gwen Stefani did not hold back when she dropped her single "Hollaback Girl" after receiving unfriendly comments from Courtney Love.

"I was being bullied by someone and was being called a cheerleader, which was a bad thing!" she told Billboard. "Growing up, that was not cool. I thought I was the opposite of that. I told Pharrell we should write a song about that."

The No Doubt co-founder did not mention Love's name directly, but the Hole lead vocalist called Stefani a cheerleader in her 2004 interview with Seventeen.

Ice Cube's 'No Vaseline'

Called the "best diss ever" by Ice Cube, the 1991 track "No Vaseline" directly lambasted his former N.W.A. members. He said the song "knocked 'em down like bowling pins."

Jay-Z's 'Takeover'

In 2001, Jay-Z targeted Prodigy and Nas in his classic diss "Takeover." He dropped brutal lines to bring down the pair and nearly finished their careers.

Jay-Z rapped about Prodigy's small record sales and his small stature while also making fun of the ballerina picture he showed at Summer Jam 2001. Meanwhile, Nas got hit right in his core when Jay-Z laughed at his catalog and mentioned his baby mama, Carmen Bryan.

Kendrick Lamar's 'Not Like Us'

Lamar continued his seething rap battle with Drake with his chart-topping diss track "Not Like Us." He claimed in the song that Drake and his "OV H--" team were pedophiles.

"Say, Drake, I hear you like 'em young/ You better not ever go to cell block one/ To any b—- that talk to him and they in love/ Just make sure you hide your lil' sister from him," Lamar rapped some of the scathing lyrics.

Megan Thee Stallion's 'Hiss'

For her first 2024 track, Megan Thee Stallion immediately sparked rumors she dissed Nicki Minaj, Kenneth Petty, Tory Lanez and Pardison Fontaine.

"These h--s don't be mad at Megan, these h--s mad at Megan's Law/ I don't really know what the problem is, but I guarantee y'all don't want me to start/ B---h, you a p---y, never finna check me/ Every chance you get, bet your weak a-- won't address me," Stallion's lyrics for Minaj read.

Nicki Minaj's 'No Frauds'

Minaj released her harsh diss track "No Frauds" for Remy Ma in 2017 following the release of "ShETHER." The song, which featured Drake and Lil Wayne, contained lyrics about Ma's jail time for assault.

Olivia Rodrigo's 'Drivers License'

Olivia Rodrigo's heartbreaking anthem "Drivers License" sparked rumors that it was a secret diss track for Sabrina Carpenter, who was linked to her rumored ex Joshua Bassett. Fans pointed out that Rodrigo changed the lyrics from brunette to blonde, fueling the rumors more.

"And you're probably with that blonde girl / Who always made me doubt / She's so much older than me / She's everything I'm insecure about," the Bizaardvark alum sang in her track, seemingly hinting at Carpenter's hair color and their three-year age gap.

However, Rodrigo soon shut down the buzz in her interview with Variety.

"I put it out not knowing that it would get that reaction, so it was really strange when it did," she said of the song. "I just remember everyone being so weird and speculative about stuff they had no idea about. I don't really subscribe to hating other women because of boys. I think that's so stupid, and I really resent that narrative that was being tossed around."

Rick Ross' 'Champagne Moments'

Ross also dissed Drake in his track "Champagne Moments." He rapped about his former friend being a "white boy" and accused him of undergoing rhinoplasty.

Taylor Swift's 'The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived'

Known for making songs about her exes and lovers, Taylor Swift targeted several men in her The Tortured Poets Department album — including Matty Healy in her track "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived."

The pair dated before Swift's romance with Travis Kelce started.

"Was any of it true? / Gazing at me starry-eyed / In your Jehovah's Witness suit," the song started, referencing her exes' outfit.

Swifties also assumed that the track's choreography confirmed that it was about The 1975 frontman as Swift danced to moves similar to Healy's routine in "Love It If We Made It."

Taylor Swift's 'thanK you aIMee'

Even Kim Kardashian was not spared on Swift's TTPD diss.

"thanK you aIMee" immediately confirmed it was a diss track for the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star amid the "So Long, London" singer's feud with the KKW Beauty mogul.

Swifties said the lyrics referenced Kardashian's tan skin, her infamous phone call with Kanye West and the snake emoji the TV personality tweeted in the past.

In December 2023, Swift spoke about her feud with Kardashian and West.

"You have a fully manufactured frame job, in an illegally recorded phone call, which Kim [Kardashian] edited and then put out to say to everyone that I was a liar," Swift said during the interview with TIME after becoming the 2023 Person of the Year. "That took me down psychologically to a place I've never been before. I moved to a foreign country. I didn't leave a rental house for a year. I was afraid to get on phone calls. I pushed away most people in my life because I didn't trust anyone anymore. I went down really, really hard."

The Notorious B.I.G's 'Who Shot Ya?'

The Notorious B.I.G. dropped "Who Shot Ya?" months after Tupac Shakur was shot five times during a robbery in 1994. The "Unchained" rapper believed the individuals were affiliated with Biggie's Bad Boy Records crew.

The provocative track then mocked Shakur and the shooting incident.

"Who shot ya? / Separate the weak from the obsolete… I can hear sweat trickling down your cheek," a line from the track read.

Tupac Shakur's 'Hit 'Em Up'

A few months before his death, Shakur rapped about several artists, including The Notorious B.I.G., Lil' Kim, Chino XL, Sean "Diddy" Combs and Mobb Deep.

He rapped the lyrics, "Biggie, remember when I used to let you sleep on the couch / 5 shots couldn't drop me : I took it and smiled. / Now I'm back to set the record straight. / With my AK, I'm still the thug that you love to hate and we bust on Bad Boys, n----- f---- for life."

[dancing-to-architecture]

35 - Elastica - Elastica (1995)

Never heard of them, but all their top songs are on this one album, so... Let's go.

Line Up-

Interesting, discordant guitar but I'm digging it... Except for the guy that sounds like he's puking in the background.

Pretty blatant "anti-groupie" lyrics but some interesting turns of phrase and i can absolutely see the line up in line line up in line part of the chorus getting stuck in heads.

Annie-

I'm digging this, kinda late-punk vibes, everything feels really good, just goes.

Connection-

This one has an order of magnitude more plays than anything else they have. (27 million vs the next highest being 6 mil)

Cool 90s edm noises and synth drums, then a computer has an orgasm and the band kicks in.

The lyrics are interesting but I'm not getting much out if it.

Starting to think I'll never really understand the kind of music British people enjoy.

Car Song-

Cool guitars but the lyrics land somewhere between "Tawny Kitaen" and "actively fucking a shift knob" level of car lover.

Catchy, though.

Smile-

The Ramones fan in me will always love a punk song started with a screamed "1,2,3,4!". ESPECIALLY if it's not screamed in the actual time of the song.

The lyrics listed are incredibly wrong, which is a shame because it's a song about a cheater getting busted. And it's pretty great.

Hold Me Now-

Sounds like Garbage (affectionate).

Tonal whiplash from the last song, from "you cheated, get lost" to "I'll do anybody/everybody at this party, i don't care"

S.O.F.T.-

I really like the intro.

The lyrics feel a bit too pointed to feel so vague, like I'm wondering if s.o.f.t. stands for like someone one of the band members knew named like Shirley Olive Frimbley-Twumpshire or something.

Indian Song-

(Okay, it's a British band, which "Indian" are we referring to... Ah, sitar. Okay.)

Ah, shit, did George Harrison write this one? Who let him in here?

Blue-

The almost shoegaze-y intro just makes me think they could have totally gone shoegaze and pulled it off.

The rest of it feels pretty similar.

All-Nighter-

"Yeah, sure let's hang out all night!"

Five hours later: "oh, so, we weren't gonna take our clothes... Oh. Okay. Gotcha. Your loss."

Waking Up-

As a dedicated night-person who nevertheless wakes up at 5am every morning, this song can kiss my ass, but also i wish i had that easy of a life.

2:1-

A bit slinkier and more laid back than a lot on this album. Kinda wondering why this one isn't the one that blew up.

The dual singing is pretty neat.

See That Animal-

Gotta get that scale practice in somehow.

Also, i cannot abide by the pronunciation of the word tattoo as "tuh-TOO". It's "TAH-tu".

Stutter-

Girl, why are you whining that he's not going to stay with you? You didn't have to let him in and fuck him, but you did. That's on you.

Never Here-

I do like the idea of fighting gaslighting with gaslighting. "You fucked with my head and now you don't even exist and you never did."

Vaseline-

I get it, but actual lube is always better.

Once again, a British album has one vastly more-played sing on the album and i cannot for the life of me figure out why. It didn't stand out in any way, and many of the other songs on the album are objectively better, catchier songs.

I can only assume UK radio is just as much of a wasteland as Florida's is.

Favorite Track: 2:1. It kinda grew on me as a standout from the raunch of the rest of the album, like a classy burlesque performance in a tacky strip club.

There's a difference between being sexy and just shoving a vagina in my face.

Least Favorite Track: Indian song. White British musicians stop appropriating India challenge (impossible).

[designpatternpirate]

You run an elite site? Don't be a putz Read this!!

I was on a Hotline site today, talking to on of the Admins there, and I was made aware that some people are blissfully unaware of the risks that they take in the warez scene. He was selling an archival CD of his site- only rom images, and being a jerk about the reality of the risks involved, got all pissy, made a few lame arguments & kicked me off his site. In that light I have quickly penned this doc, which I would like everyone to spread all over, so that the Admins can have some idea of the risks they take, and can take proper precautions to cover their asses.

Ignorant viewpoint #1. "I won't get caught." This sometimes translates to "They have bigger things to worry about than me", "There are others doing more/worse", and sometimes even the infamous "but I'm not doing anyhing wrong." The Job of the Feds is to bust lawbreakers. Some of the laws are stupid, and some of the lawbreakers are smart, but if your balls get caught in the vise, don't cry to me. If we're all lucky, nothing will happen, no-one will get busted. But I don't play lotto either…

Ignorant viewpoint #2. "I don't have any warez on my site." It's hard to be squeaky clean. Any illegal distribution of corpyrighted material can get you busted. You. Yeah you. Warez? obviously. Rom carts? Yeah. Nintendo gets a hard-on for that shit. Even if the company that owns the license doesn't sue you, your day in court won't be a good one. Cracks? Serial #'s? Depends on how bad a day the judge has had & what state you're in, Maybe even the lunar cycle. Applying them is illegal, currently having them isn't, but I'm sure it doesn't help your case. MP3's? Probably. I forget how long it is before music copyrights expire, but I'm sure you don't listen to the shit that has. Nudie JPG's? Movies? (AVI's, Moov's, ect). doesn't matter. Feds hate porn. Makes them look even better to bust pornmongers such as yourself. Even if you're only distributing or archiving or backing up or whatever. Legal semantics do not impress a judge who's been told to burn your ass for politics. Unless your argument is airtight and defensable (AND you have a LAWYER), you might as well not have any opinion.

Ignorant viewpoint #3. "I can sell the service of burning the CD." Sure you can. Just as the judge can sell the service of burning your ass. You sell at any price over cost+shipping- that's profit- plain & simple. I mean sure, you have distrubution with intent to sell, You can argue the point in court if you want, but making money attracts attention from the feds faster than you can say "I'm fucked". In case you want a quick lesson in history, the government has never appreciated any profit being made by anyone that they couldn't get their share of. Making a profit off of warez is just like spitting in their eye & saying 'fuck you'. Yeah. Bring your own vaseline.

Ignorant viewpoint #4. "Anyone who mentions Feds is an asshole." No. You're an asshole. Maybe someone's just trying to help your sorry ass out by letting you know that you're taking a risk. Stupid fuck. It's more than a game. It's your ass. You wanna give it away, prepare to have it fucked. That is what most people do when offered some virgin tail.

So what am I saying? Quit spreading warez? Run like a bitch and pack up your shit? Yeah. if you are that's exactly what I'm saying. The warez scene doesn't need you, you add to silly statistics & make the rest of us look bad. Just use your head. Start at the top, work your way down. Make a plan. novel idea that, Thinking & planning? Not at all like leeching and kicking fellow leechers for the ego boost. Very expensive toy, power. Make sure you don't overpay.

Plan #1. I will plan not to get caught. If your door got kicked in right now, would your ass be handed to you? Yeah, you thought your site was private- who the fuck let the feds in? Now your mom is flat on her stomach in her nightgown, cussing, screaming & crying, but do you know anything more than you've pissed your pants & are gonna have a lot of time on your hands? Stupid fuck. Do something about it. if you make a plan to use 10 minutes effectively, you might get a chance to save your ass. Of course no HD that a warez mogul such as yourself is gonna have will format irrecoverably in 10 minutes. Better try harder. Removable media rules. Like the sound of that music? I like Jaz too. Radio Shack sells magnets cheap. Don't consider them a risk, think of them as 'insurance'. CD's are easy to break a few at a time- don't get carried away unless you have a vat of acid nearby.

Plan #2. I will leave no tangible evidence. A record of transfers from the feds incriminates, but a hard drive baked to the gills with wares just fries your ass. Figure something out. Encryption. Passwords. Trojans. Virii. Be clever, and be damn clever. You have to realize they deal with your kind everyday. They'll laugh at any feeble attempt to thwart them, and hold it against you if it fails.

Plan #3. I will leave money the fuck alone. Yeah, we all want it, but you better not take it for warez, dipshit. You might as well be selling drugs. Matter of fact, pretend you're selling drugs, you can only help yourself by being that careful. Donations? fine. Donations for wares? "Hello? Anyone home?" Don't be stupid. You might as well call your wares site a religious shrine with devotional CD relics for all the good that lame-ass ploy will do you. You took money. You gave out CD's. Fuck the paperwork, you can wipe the cum from your ass with it.

Plan #4. I will assume everyone could be a fed. On the internet you don't know who anyone is. Guess what? Feds can actually pretend to be real people. Some have friends, families, and some even did what you're doing now (and might've been better at it too). Anyone you talk to might be the man. Even that girl. And being paranoid about it and acting like an asshole won't make you fed-proof- it just makes you look like a paranoid asshole. If someone is a fed, and you're talking to them, and you know they're a threat, being a putz will just put your dumb ass on the top of the 'balls to bust' list. Act oblivious- not like you're suddenly an amnesiac or evasive, just that everything's hunkey-dorey, ok-fine untill they go away, all the while you're taking care of business. When you pull the plug, you go on a warez vacation. Don't be stupid. The legal process is slow, and if you start hacking & shit in a week you might as well not have bothered- they probably didn't even plan on coming down for a while, & then they're gonna watch for a bit before they kick in your door- but you never know.

A couple quickie no-brainer rules (to help you get caught). - Give out your e-mail address if you want trouble. - Give out your snail mail address if you want trouble. - Post either of the above on some yutz's server. - Use the same alias all the time to be positively trackable. - Download to the same ip all the time. - Mail warez to strangers. - When doing the above, use a return address. - Charge money for warez. - Keep your site up 24/7, never change ip. - Keep all the wares where everyone can see them. - Think your site being private makes you safe. - Think that the Hotline warez scene (or whatever) will last forever. - Remeber: You won't get caught.

I'd sign this doc straight out, but I run a (passably) elite site, & I'm enough of a realist to not wanna piss the feds off by letting them know who it was me that tried to make their job a bit more challenging. Those of you who know my style will recognize my handiwork…

As for the Feds- Shooting fish in a barrel just may have gotten a little bit harder.

| 01 | (globe=)-((lager=)-(buzzing insect))+((chain=)-L)+(­hers) | ° | (angry=)+(fly appendage=)-(2x(You)) |__|

[mysticalbelieverprincess]

Organic Body Care Products

A skin firming lotion can make your skin firmer, tighter, healthier and younger-looking -- or do nothing but provide some moisturizing. Most lotions and creams don't get it right. Here is the reason why the difference.

The thing I like about manuka is it has antibacterial activity. Perhaps you might know, nivea body lotion the utilization of antibacterial soaps and cleansers is improves the formation of more antibiotic resistant strains of bacteria.

Are you frustrated with all the acne removal tips in the internet today? The bad thing about these tips is that they may seem good at first but become not so effective after weeks of application. This particular when things become frustrating as results take longer than as advertised. The reason for provide you . because reason to not do may not answer difficulty directly.

Cleansing your skin properly will also help to exfoliate any dead skin away so you're left with clean, open pores that are ready to drink inside the vaseline body lotion creams and lotions allowing you to start having healthier skin that is soft, smooth and moist.

But it will take courage. I began asking questions of as well. I didn't always like the explanations. I didn't always have the strength to stare into the vacancy I created and gather the malnourished pieces of me Got once really liked.

With so many advancements in science and technology, not really try use a state-of-the-art product. Sure, the better body lotions and creams price you more but isn't your skin worth that?

Legal nurse consulting is often a service Go to the website business where a person apply exactly relationship principles you learned in nursing to your attorney-clients and prospects. Provide quality service and excellent work product that no other legal nurse consultant can replicate, and shortly you'll find that you're from a short-staffing situation all over again.

Remember ensure that you are getting rest and drinking associated with water. A tired and dehydrated lady is a bad one to anyone especially micro. Start slow, stay consistent and on-line body reverse.

[leiazher]

Put Vaseline up your nose.

I am entirely serious. It goes like this:

You live in a place which periodically becomes very cold, like below -20C° cold.

By necessity you spend a lot of time outside.

You have a nose.

Your nose has nose hair.

A LOT of it.

To the point where you believe putting wax up your nose and sticks in the wax isn't just for vanity, but for the simple reason that you don't want people to think your mustache starts in your nose.

Your breath is moist, as is the breath of all living things, I think.

Moisture becomes perspiration becomes fog.

When walking forward, that fog will land on your face.

It will also turn your impressive nose hair into icicles.

You now have a very uncomfortable problem which you have to solve by rubbing your nose every tenth to thirtieth second, depending on how cold it is and how fast the icicles form.

So what do you do? How do you avoid and evade this torturous condition, other than removing your natural air filtering nose hair, or trimming it twice weekly?

You put Vaseline in your nose. Or you do what I do, and put tjärsalva up there (tar salve, yes, tar) for a nice fragrance of smoke and pine.

Because fat doesn't freeze in the same way as water, and the moisture from your breath won't stick to the fat, and not only will your nostrils not dry out while breathing the wind from the devil's frozen cunt, they won't be dry enough to crack if you so much as twitch.

Other cold weather tips for going outside:

Layers. Top: Tank top, t-shirt, long sleeved shirt, sweater, and then jacket. Bottom: Tights, pyjama pants, sweatpants, thermo trousers if you have them (NO JEANS, they can't retain enough heat). Feet: thin pair of socks, regular socks, thick socks. Head and neck: Thin scarf, thick scarf, thin hat, thick hat. Hands: Thin gloves, thick MITTENS.

Mittens keep your fingers together which allows extra warmth.

Thin inner layers allow you to wear more of them, which will allow the air between the layers to heat up more and retain more heat, the thick outer layer is to keep that precious heat inside.

Don't move til' you sweat unless you're going to keep moving until you get to a warm place. No matter your layers, if you sweat and then sit still in freezing temperatures, you will get cold.

I'm working off the assumption that you don't own this whole getup in wool, but if you do, you're going to be so comfy, wool is the absolute best for thermoregulation.

If you're understandably lacking wool clothing, just use what you have and dress in layers.

Get spikes for your shoes, here in Sweden we call them "broddar", it's a piece of rubber with small metal nubs attached to them, you put them on your shoes, and they'll help you stay standing when it gets slippery (mine sadly got stuck in the fucking glacier in town square and I couldn't find one of them).

An overall is better than thermo trousers and a jacket.

Any object of clothing that is continuous is better than separate parts since you're not breaking off any warm air from body part to body part. (Jumpsuits, some underoos, overalls.)

MOISTURIZE! You don't want your skin to crack, it hurts, it stings, and it can cause infection. Slap some moisturizer on before bed if you don't have time or feel it's icky, but it's best to moisturize throughout the day. Don't care what others who might see your nightstand may think, put your moisturizer there.

Don't go outside with wet hair. If it's cold enough and the water freezes, your hair could actually break off. Not to mention you could get sick, but lets focus on vanity for once.

Sincerely, a Swede who's regrettably gonna have to go out into the blizzard tomorrow, several times.

[empressofdiamonds]

Queen Of Perfume

Choosing your own perfume

This is obviously a highly private choice, so I would recommend to try and try and try perfumes at the shop. Try them, go every week at the perfume shop to try two perfumes, one on each wirst. Keep on trying until you find a perfume that makes you never want to find another one. It just clicks, you just KNOW it it's the right one.

Smell the test perfumes 5 min after spray, 15 minutes, 1 hours then 4 hours.

Do NOT wear any other perfume if you test new ones, as it may layer and give you the wrong impression

Some perfumes might smell AMAZING on the paper tester, but smell awful on you. That's very much possible, perfume's aroma is highly dependent on the body chemistry

Some perfumes fit better a season sadly, so be prepared to the possibility your perfume might fit you a few months out the year.

Once you've chosen your perfume, the price might be highly expensive but keep in mind you're creating your signature brand. The brain has a strong association to smells and one will remember you dearly if they smell your perfume again. Again, you use so little at a time.

Do not diss the cheaper perfumes! Again, with body chemistry, it influences how the perfume will smell on you and a okayish perfume on the paper might smell SUBLIME on you. My own perfume cost 40$ but it smells incredible on me and I always get compliments on it.

The trend those times is single smell perfumes, those that only have one aroma in it. Personnally I find those really curious but they're not my favourite but I still encourage you to try them out. Your body might make those perfumes exquisite.

ASK for samplers!! The shop ladies probably have a million of samplers. Went to a shop, they had 3 drawers FULL of samplers. A treasure for experiment!

If a perfume gives you headarche or nausea or plainly you dislike it, it's not a good one. Shalimar smelt AMAZING on the paper sampler but on me it smelt like cigarettes so much I had to wash it off.

To find similar perfumes to one you did like, check out the .. It gives the notes, the perfume family, reviews etc...

Wearing perfume

Go at tiny amounts at a time. Always. You don't want to be THAT person that smells so much perfume it stinks. Add on more if needed. It is hard to remove but easy to add.

Always ALWAYS use soaps, shampoos and creams that are very low smell, have a similar perfume family as your perfume (let's say I wear a summery coconut-ish monoi perfume, I wouldn't be buying stuff that has fresh laundry smell, per example.). Personally I don't want to do any faux pas, and I go for smell-free hygiene stuff so my perfume isn't challenged or wronged.

DO NOT SPRAY ON CLOTHES. Always on skin. Some perfumes stay permanently on fabric so it's important to be careful.

Exfoliate your skin, make sure your basic body hygiene is up to point. Scrub out the armpits then add Deo almost asap after the shower. Scrub your feets, intimates, rinse it thoroughly. Pat dry your skin. You want a nice foundation for a perfume masterpiece.

If you're about to have sex, spray a minuscule amount at the areas he might put his nose on. Lower belly, nape of neck, etc. Do not put ANY where he might lick. Some perfumes taste AWFUL.

Spread some Vaseline on the areas you're about to spray, so it lasts all day.

DO NOT DO THE PERFUME CLOUD N'WALK, it wastes a stupid amount of perfume. Instead just spray on the wirsts then dab on the neck. That way, less waste and the perfume won't dissipate so fast.

Body mists go away SO fast so you have to reapply a few times a day. Perfumes only once a day. Some are so strong it still persists for two or three days on skin.

Do not hesitate to ask feedback from family, friends and partners. They're your best allies for choosing the right perfume.

Men's favourite scents are vanilla, fruity/sugary scents, lily of the valley. But again, if you LOVE one perfume and most ppl say it's amazing and it doesn't contains those scents, don't dismiss just because of that.

Confidence is the best buddy to perfume. A uncomfortable gal makes a perfume smell meh, but on a QUEEN a perfume might smell incredible... Keep your head high and carry on.

[kookiecrumb]

jjk|| Your Head

"tags": @kazthebrekkerofinej

word count: uhhhh

summary: Jungkook is the heir to the throne of your Kingdom! In this tale of duty versus heart, will love prevail victorious?

tags: Royalty!Jungkook x Peasant!Reader, oneshot, smut, fluff, slight angst, some crack, pining, forbidden lovers, Jungkookie has a sweet tooth, strangers to friends to lovers

warnings: explicit language, impact play, birthday sex (technically), fingering, oral (m receiving*), love marking, alcohol consumption, s&m themes, horny grinding, praise kink/body worship

a/n:

hey guys!

Firstly, I want to say how proud I am of myself for growing so much during this fic. I learned a lot about what I'm comfortable with, what I'd like to work on, and where my confidences lie.

I won't lie and say it's been easy, because writing this meant dealing with a lot of my fears? I'm excited for all the works that are to come.

The only thing I can do is be as receptive to growth as possible, so I'm looking forward to learning...

*I actually learned that Vaseline wasn't invented until like the 1870s? The fic is written in the 1810s, so I actually had a choice between having them do it with vegetable oil or spit. Spit won.

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

5 years ago

You bend over to pick up an apple that had rolled over under your father's produce cart, praying that it isn't bruised so that you have to pay for it out of your dinner, when a crumpled piece of paper hits you in the ass.

Confused, you crawl out from under the stand and unwrap the paper.

The paper itself is of the finest quality you've ever seen. It's a sturdy cardstock, bleached white with gold etchings on the borders. The print on the top of it reads "His Highness Jeon's Royal Study," and scribbled in some kid's amateur cursive below, "Nice butt."

You directed your gaze upwards, towards the towering castle walls. Sure enough, a boy no older than 15 had his noggin popping out from the top of the rampart, with two wide eyes staring down, curious as to your reaction. This was Prince Jungkook, heir to the throne of your kingdom.

"Shouldn't you be equestrian horse riding or playing polo or something?" You shout. He furrows his eyebrows, apparently offended at your assumption, and then disappears behind the edifice.

Moments later, another paper hits your shoulder as you're practicing your caligraphy behind your cart. It lands between the apples, so you reach your hand over and fish out out.

You glance up at the anticipant, and sure enough he's there with his doe eyes and his coconut head, ogling.

"No, dumbie. That's at MID-day." Well how were YOU supposed to know the royal schedule of the crown prince, it wasn't just common knowlegde you learned from being a humble farmer's daught--

Ah!

"Will you STOP?!" You put your foot down. "Unless you're here to buy my apples, then you're not getting ANY, little Prince." Oh, shit. You gave him ideas. Now it was really over for you.

In less than half an hour, half a company of men arrived at the marketplace, asking about your little old apple stand, and sure enough, Jungkook had bought out the entire cart so that you were forced to help with the transaction.

The young prince had eyes frankly too big for his head, with the most prominent cupid's bow you've ever seen. His nose slightly outgrew his face and his ears were hidden away behind his short, black hair. "Now you can talk to me." He gave you a rose he'd stolen from the royal garden. "I am Jungkook, heir to the throne of--"

"I know who you are." You interrupt him, documenting His Highness' total in your calligraphy book.

With a hand perched on his chest from surprise, he scoffed. "And I happen to think you're really pretty, so I was going to ask you to be my very first consor--"

"You're 15, you have playmates not consorts."

"And how old are you?!" He's had it, raising his voice and taking a bite out of one of your apples with force.

"16, old enough to have suitors." You tease. Jungkook hangs his head a little. He just needed someone to talk to, it would seem. Reluctantly, you scribbled down your address down on a piece of note paper and handed it to him.

"Look, if you buy more of my apples, I'll have an excuse to tell my Dad so I can hang out with you." You spoke in a low voice as to not raise suspicion.

Your dad is standing negotiating with the guards about prices, his usual embarassing haggling gruffly overpowering the guards elegant twiddle-tones.

"Wonderful! See you soon, my sweet!" He resumes his confident demeanor, tucking the paper into his overcoat with a small smile. He salutes you boyishly and marches away with a year's supply of apples.

For the next week, the royal kitchen had baked 3 apple pies, made 5 fruit salads, 4 batches of apple muffins, and threw the rest of them in Sangria; that's the same Sangria as King Jeon finds himself drinking in his wife's drawing room on Sunday.

"Call Chef, fetch him up here." He waves to his assistant, keeping his eyes on the outside. He was deep in thought, his hands stoicly behind his back.

The Kingdom had been prosperous for over many years now, and war had not come close to threatening its borders in a lifetime. Negotiations were always successful, and quality of living was high. The work of a King, in a situation such as this, was to perfect the image of the royal family as strong rulers, and to paint his daughters as desirable to foreign heirs.

"Your Grace," the assistant called his attention, "Head Chef Sung." The dainty man bows and scurries off somewhere else.

Chef Sung is a portly man, who carries himself heaving with every step, his great belly inflating with each hefty inhale. He approaches the King, and kneels down to kiss his hand with his fat lips.

The King recoils in disgust, but quickly collects himself and his words. "Where are these apples from, is it France or Spain?" He demands.

"Neither, Your Highness." Mr.Sung lifts up his eyes. "They are from our Holy Kingdom; by order of Prince Jungkook, an entire cart was purchased of these apples and we have not been able to get rid of them." Tears threatened Chef Sungs eyes at the very mention of the fruit.

'Well, there's one thing the kid's done right.' King Jeon now faces the Chef, setting down his drink on a mahogany table, leaning against it casually. "Well! Good. I'd like to meet the owner of that cart, invite him to my Sunday brunch."

"Oh, yes, of course sir! You'll never see them in our kitchen aga--What?" Chef Sung takes out his handkerchief, waving it around in the air and drying his tears at once. "So you like them! Why...Yes! Yes, of course!"

Your father thought it would be valuable to have you around the kitchen, learning from the skilled men and women employed by the Jeon family. He only visited once a week to drop off fresh produce, (he'd been officially hired to handle restocking of goods) but you, after showing promising signs of being a gifted baker during one of your father's restocks, were granted scholarship by Ms.Kang to be her aid.

You were now, officially, a resident of the Jeon Estate, residing in the servant's quarters, immediately adjacent to the kitchen. This was convenient. It was far too convenient for a certain little Prince to get the idea of wanting a midnight snack and wandering downstairs.

One day, he does just that. He finds his way into the first bedroom to the right of the stairs facing the kitchen, and that happens to be your bedroom.

He pokes you awake. "Ow! Ow, whyyy~" You whine and toss yourself over to the other side of the bed. His irritating poking persists. You grab his fingers and your eyes shatter open.

You sit up, alarmed. "You could have me arrested, what the fuck are you doing?!"

"I wanted a midnight snack! Besides, I wanna talk to you." He pouts, still holding a small teddy companion.

"Fine. I'll bake you ONE sheet of cookies." You slip on your night shoes and shuffle to the kitchen, and Jungkook tags along.

By the time Jungkook's 18th birthday comes around, he's in the kitchen helping you whisk buttercream to top his cake while having a tease at the Austrian Princess' mole.

"You have one right under your lip, look!" You take a little buttercream from the bowl and stain the dark spot with it.

He licks it up and hastens to add, "it needs more sugar, lady!" as he turns to grab a puffy bag of confection sugar.

"You're impossible to please." Snatching the sugar away from him, you smirk. "You can gobble down as many sweets as you want when the ball commences. Remember, this is the year you're supposed to be keeping your eye out for a girl of a good fam--"

"Yada yada, must have hips for childbearing, yada yada yada..." He mocks the speech his mother had told him that morning when he got dressed.

"Exactly." You set your bowl aside to fix Jungkook's tie. "Yes, and that's your duty, as our heir."

You step back and examine Jungkook one more time. He'd grown so tall in the last year, his legs like spider's and he was just beginning to grow into his features. Handsome boy.

You, too, had grown into an elegant young woman. You had a poised complexion, ready-mannered and graceful. Your hands seemed out of place in your otherwise feminine frame, carrying an extra bit of girth from baking. You were 19 years old.

Marriage was becoming an uncomfortably frequent topic during your visits home, as your mother had married young, herself, she expected the same of you.

Truth be told, there were plenty of offers for your hand. You were a skilled and very esteemed individual, who had broken into thr artisinal class. But your father knew better than put a dowry on your happiness. So long as you worked, he saw no reason to marry you off just yet.

"Now, go. Your sisters must be worried sick! Go out there." You shoo him, pushing him out the door of the kitchen despite his flailing arms.

Throughout the party, you'd been carrying a platter of your own baked goods, serving them to the aristocrats attending the Princes' coming-of-age ball. Accents from all over Europe and some from Kingdoms as far East as Cyprus jubilantly engaged in artful conversation which filled the air with good spirits.

Jungkook, himself, was busy being introduced to as many women as possible, a medley of presenting duchesses, ladies, and even Princesses of your Kingdom. They were each more qualified than you'll ever be, ten-fold.

One was a Greek Princess, her hair cascaded in darling curls down her shoulders and her eyes were deep-set, her voice a flirtatious trill.

Another, a Prussian Princess', posture radiated excellency, and whose complexion sparkled like powdered snow. Jungkook greeted her warmly, pleased with her appearance.

Distracted, you tripped up your skirt and dropped the remainder of your pastries. With that, you stepped off to use the restroom.

The sound of Strauss' Rosen aus dem Süden faintly loomed in the air as you wiped tears from your waterline in the mirror. That was just the way it was, wasn't it? Princes come of age, and they find wives who they commit their lives to.

"Married men don't have friends who are girls." You say out loud, just to realize it. Jungkook was now expected to find a mate within the season, and he was, in fact, quite the eligible bachelor.

Little did you know that Jungkook had been keeping an eye out for you throughout the party, not only because you were carrying his favorite Danish pastires, but because he knew your company was his greatest comfort.

He's in the midst of greeting the Duchess of Kent when he excuses himself to go look for you. He finds your mess first, frowning as he realizes something has gone terribly wrong.

He catches you in the hallway, face puffy and shaky. He grabs your wrist to keep you from darting back to the kitchen.

"Please don't do this, it's my birthday, y/n." It's as if an unspoken rule had been broken between you, and he feels it. Something is making you uncomfortable. "Was it the girls? You told me about this, it's my duty to at least greet them and--"

"Yeah, you sure did greet the Prussian woman nicely." You speak through tears. "She's the girl you were born to be with, huh? Your birthright?"Jungkook is silent. "Every girl at that ball wants to be your wife, want to have your children. They haven't known you for a day and yet they're ready to be your bride."

You search Jungkook's eyes for any sign of coherence, hoping that he would defend against you, that he would speak up and tell you otherwise. No such argument comes.

You yank your arm from his grip and march to the kitchen to remake the pastries you spilled.

You had the job of clearing off all the tables upon the departure of the last guests. It is midnight, and the windows of the castle stream moonlight down on the carpet beneath your feet. The glow of candles soothe you as you hum the waltzes which echo in your mind. It's a brilliant evening.

The centerpieces of the tables were gardenias, lush rose-like flowers with yellow pistils.

Summer, 1809

"Jungkook, wait! You're going to make me trip!" You shout from the top of the hill.

"You've gotta come see before the sun sets! It's the only way we'll get there on time, now run!" Jungkook's speeding down the terrain towards the Sycamore tree which grew deep and wide beneath the banks of a great rushing river.

You groan and throw caution to the wind, rolling down the steep mount in your Sunday dress. Jungkook turns to watch you, a grin spreading across his handsome face. "Look at you!"

You land on your feet at the bottom and scurry off to join Jungkook under the grandfather tree, out of breath entirely. "Now, look what you made me do. You're such a boy, you know that?! Making me come out here just to see some bloody--"

Jungkook has plucked a gardenia and placed it behind your ear. "Would you shut up? We got here on time. Behold."

In all its glory, the sun bathes you in its vivacious rays, creating a feeling of heavenly bliss as it dips below the horizon. The sky blushes pink, its clouds mere whisps above you. Wind rustles the leaves of the grand tree, rousing the birds to chirp their afternoon song.

"Mom used to come here all the time with my Dad, because of these." Jungkook clasped the blooming flower in his tender hands.

After a while, he says "the bugs will come out soon, so we ought to go back," as if he's trying not to scare something away. He helps you up, and with one last look across the valley, you walk next to each other back to the East Quarters.

You take all the silverware and plates by the tub to the dish-washing station and toss all of the linen napkins into the washing machine. All you had left was to blow out the lights in leading upstairs.

"Prince! It is very late, and there are no guests left for you to entertain. What troubles you?" Jungkook's sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands, still wearing his best suit.

"I disappointed you, y/n...I didn't like any of them." He admits, lifting his head up to sulk at you. "I should have told you then, but I didn't want to make you upset!"

Did Jungkook mistake your jealousy for disappointment?

"I'm not upset because you didn't hit it off with the girls..." You sigh. A confession is due, and he's ready to hear the truth from you about how you feel about him.

"Well, the truth is, I didn't like any of the girls because I like you, y/n. But you know that, don't you?" You pause, asking him to elaborate.

"Remember when I bought all the apples because I wanted to be with you? Like...I told you that you were my consort and I kind of meant it?" He felt pathetic now, realizing that you weren't just ignoring his advances. "So you didn't friendzone me for 2 years, you actually didn't know that I liked you."

It was almost laughable, a situation you would read in one of your illegal novels which you kept tucked away in your pillow at night. "No, Kookie, I didn't." You admit to your insolence.

You can't bear to lead him on any longer. You needed to put duty over your own self interest for the sake of the kingdom, even if it shattered his hope. It was better this way.

"But, you do know that we can't ever be a thing, right? It's just silly." Your heart tightens with the words which fall out of your mouth. "It is. Nevermind what your parents would think, what would it do for your image? You're on the world's stage, Jungkook, and you're a selfish person if you think you can just throw all of your duties away to date a scum of the Earth like-- like me!" With your heart in your throat, dry your eyes with your sleeve. "And...I want to, I really really want to, more than anything else to love you, Jungkook. I love you! I...can't." Through the blur of your tears, the shapeless blob that Jungkook has become stands up.

Taking his thumb and swiping it under your eyes, he sighs. Words escaping him, he takes your trembling body against his chest and nestles his head in the crook of your neck. Your cold hands travel underneath his overcoat to hold his waist. The Princes' lips plant a gentle kiss on your neck, chaste yet deep and satisfying.

"I will not accept any bride if not you, my love." He draws back, meeting your fervid gaze. "To the world, I remain a bachelor for a few years."

"And after those years, Jungkook?" You ride your hands up to caress the man's jaw. "You will still love me after those years, and then what?"

"I don't know," he says, voice as soft as powder. "I don't know many things, y/n, that's why I need you to teach me." His palms are rubbing at your waist, beckoning you closer.

His breath quickening as you lean your body against his hold, and you figure it must be the wine he drank to calm his nerves. That was it, wasn't it? He was drunk.

"You're not drunk, are you?" Your face sours, really hoping it's not the case as you feel your body temperature rise.

"Y/N, I've only had a glass. You saw I was a wreck back there." His lips kept chasing yours in a dance you can't quite describe. "I have wanted to hold you like this since I saw you selling apples on the street. Give me the honor..." His forehead against yours and his strong hands supporting your back, he's already fucking you with his eyes.

"The pleasure of being your lover." He squeezes your waist tight with his forearms, planting brisk kisses behind your ear and breathing in your scent. He smiles against you. Your skin pebbles at his affectionate touch, purring softly as your eyes roll back in delight.

"Kookie..." You breathe, leaning on his broad chest. "Kook, the maids are wondering where I am, I have to go..." You slur, tugging at his collar.

He grunts in protest, taking your ear between his teeth and nibbling it.

"If you let me go, I'll steal some cake for you tomorrow at breakfast." If there's anything Jungkook likes more than Cream Ice, it was cake. He unravels you from his arms and nods, his eyes softening.

"Request my service tomorrow, from Ms.Kang. She's been sweet on me lately." You peck his cheek before stepping back. Your rouge has embarrassingly stained His Grace's cheek.

Jungkook bows and presses a kiss on your hand, eyes rising to meet yours. "Til' morrow, babe."

Jiyoo shakes you awake the next morning, handing you a cake and a note that reads: "Prince Jungkook has a commission he must discuss with you. Meet him at his chamber immediately."

Lacing on a simple corset over your nightgown, you try not to look too red in the face as you climb up the stairs to His Majesty's room. You'd be up there alone, as requested. The girls would absolutely start rumors based on that alone-- rumors which you realize are probably totally true. This was stuff of scandal, after all...

'There shouldn't be anything scandalous about love.' You decide as you rap on His Highness' door.

"Please enter...but only if you have my cake!" Jungkook says in his morning voice. He's so cute.

The simplicity of Jungkook's abode takes you by surprise. His bedroom is very well lit, a capital display of the flowered valley through his bay windows washed the room in gold, painting his porcelain white carpets and his cotton sheets a warm creme color. His drawers and vanity were etched in gold, with breathtaking detailing.

The Monarch himself was splayed across the bed, laying on his side casually. He held a glass in his hand, holding a white wine. He puts down his glass and sits up as your presence.

"We both know that you didn't come here as my servant." You lock the door behind you. "And I have no such commission to give you, darling." The innocence which undertones his usual speech is missing as he coaxes you towards him.

"This much I know, Your Majesty," You say, taking a bit of frosting on your index finger and smudging it on the Princes lips. His black eyes, as cunning as a viper, watch you dangerously as you push two fingers past his plush lips. He wraps his hands around your wrist and draws your hand away, his gaze fixating on you.

"Set the cake down." At his command, you carefully place the confection down on a nearby chest, feeling Jungkook's eyes on you, drawing you back towards his grip.

"Let me pull your laces apart," with your waist held by his Herculean hand, he hums "and then let me pull you apart. I want to memorize your pleasures and gratify your desires, I need it, y/n..." Your back flush against his chest and your thighs split, his hands knead into you as he litters your collar with his mark.

You gasp softly against the crook of his neck, giving into his hold of you. His hot tongue spreads under your jaw, closing into a hard kiss as his hands travel back up to undo your corset and free your tits.

One by one, his fingers pop open the buttons left on your gown until the collar hangs off-shoulder to expose your collarbone. At the sight of new skin, Jungkook's tongue darts to stain it.

His hands stagger above your breasts. "Is it okay if I touch you here?"

"Oh, Kookie, touch me everywhere~" Your hands form fists around Jungkook's shirt, beckoning him impossibly closer.

Grasping one ever so carefully, his thumb grazes your bud as he playfully bites under your ear. "ah-- ahh,"

Jungkook groans in response, he can't believe how cute you sound. Curious, he wants to hear more, so he traces your thighs and experimentally pushes up the outside your cunt.

You squirm, tensing up immediately in response. You bring your hands down to find the latch on his trousers and dip your hands below to rub him through his undergarments. He heatedly bucks up to meet your touch, a panting mess.

You face him now as he watches you ride his fingers while you grip his girth through his clothes. He takes you by the ass and places you on his prominent bulge, hips rolling into you as he hungrily kisses you, his firm hands grinding your core on his cock.

His face is a sinful red, panting under you desperately.

"I've been wanting to do this," His voice warbles through your touch, running your thumb along his underside. It's his turn to gasp. He sits up and collapses his lips into yours, softer than rose petals and his taste faintly like wine.

You place your hand on his chest, and his heart is pounding, a thin layer of sweat already forming on his honeylike complexion.

Hastily, you pull your dress over your head and lean back to allow him to familiarize himself with your stark form, a dainty chain hanging between your bosom. Jungkook bites his lips as he wriggles out of his clothing, desposing of it beside the bed.

He's giddy behind those sultry eyes, you know him well enough that he's overexcited to get inside of you. It goes straight to his cock, your playfulness as you feel up his bare shoulders and discover his abdominals, your fingers tracing his ridges with a sense of innocent wonder.

He takes your hands and looks at you in this way-- Butterflies fill your stomach instantly. Jungkook's thumbing at your pout with his intrepid fingers.

His eyes flutter when grip his base and submerge your upper body below his hips. You lick a long, thick stripe up his underside, causing his breath to hitch and his head to fall back on to the bed.

Those goddamn cupid's bow lips of his would whisper the dirtiest things under his breath, lewd thoughts that sounded completely alien coming from His Majesty's mouth, he said for you.

"Oh, such a pretty mouth~ It's so good, y/n, you swallow me so good--" he moaned like a mantra, trying to keep his hips from snapping up into you. Your hot, wet tongue wrapped around his throbbing cock was only a fantasy to him for years.

He fills your throat with his girth, his taste tantalizingly smooth. It leaves your mouth with a 'pop.' You struggle to keep your legs apart as you crawl up to kiss him.

He takes those fingers of his and slides his index and middle into you and languidly thrusts them, smirking against your lips. "Shit, you liked that, hmm..."

"Kookie...please," you whine as he squeezes your ass hard before smacking it. You yelp, the sting of his fingers radiating from your skin.

"I like it when you beg, y/n, it's so cute..." He pulls your ass up to his thighs. He's flush hard against your abdomen, already sticky with his precum and your spit. You marvel at the self control he has.

You don't finish your thought before he has his head inside of you, impaling you on his cock and stretching your entrance, hissing at how incredible it felt to have you around him.

His shaft reached pleasure points within you had yet to discover. You clench, feeling his tip brush against your cervix. "Wh... hngh," he groans, "how did you do that, do it again--" You wrap your legs around his thighs and clench around him, biting your lip. You watch as he shivers from pleasure, feeling his skin horripilate under your touch.

His thumb is softly circling above your clit as he pulls out of you carefully. He swirls back in, nestling himself inside your heat, hissing. "Ahh~ Jungkook~!" At the sound of his first name moaned out of your mouth, he groans and rolls his hips up to create messy friction. That familiar knot in your stomach tingles as he plays with the bundle of nerves buried within you.

He glances up at your ruined lips, clashing with them again as he lifts your knees up with his hands and thrusts nice and rough, making you yell with every jolt of his cock. The smell and sound of sex fills the room as he experiments with positions, laying you on all fours.

"Get your ass up for me." You obey, ever servile. You're reminded-- you're his servant. He owns your work, he owns your services, and now he wants you in the most lucrative way, he wants your soaked cunt around his imperial cock. He gets what he wants.

Jungkook's palms smack against your ass one more time, just to watch the way it jiggles for him. He smirks a little before he shoves himself into your pretty little cunt. You bury your face into the pillows in pelasure as he chases your orgasm with vigor, fingering your clitoris while you move your hips back to meet his hard thrusts.

You whine like a harlot, his cock allowing you every satisfaction as he works a head-spinning orgasm out of that cunt. "I'm gonna cum, Kookie~!" you warn as you spasm against his length, moans ripping from your throat as you coat him with your thick juices.

His hips stutter up and he just barely pulls himself completely from you as he paints your back white, a guttural groan escaping his mouth.

After a while of loud panting and scattered giggling, Jungkook reaches over for a wet cloth and cleans the both of you gingerly. You trail your hands up to caress his jaw and kiss his lips softly.

"You need to tell everyone that I had a long and extensive request for the Harvest party, that I wanted a lot of fall fruits and vegetables featured in the baked goods, make it as specific as possible and make sure that you mention that I want to meet with you again, over dinner." His labored breathing punctuate his words, as youd kisses consume him. "And..."

"And?" You cock an eyebrow, simpering.

"Doyouthinkmaybeyoucouldbringmesomemilktogowithmycake?" He mumbles, eyes glued on the bed.

"What?" (If you give a Kookie a Cookie...)

Disgruntled, he sighs and repeats: "Milk! Milk for my cake. I know it's moist cause you made it but I'm really thirsty, especially after..." His cheeks flush a cute pink. You wait for him to continue just to fluster him a little more. "Y/N, just please!" You can't ever refuse his pouty face.

Next week, Jungkook's got you pinned against the hallway wall, making out with you hungrily as his hands ride up your dress. Just across the hall, his Dad is negotiating war with Portugal over land in the West.

The next month, you have his cock buried in your throat underneath the table at an important conference about how to create jobs.

All this while the pressure for Jungkook to find a bride continues to rise as he reaches seniority, and as his father's grey hairs pronounce themselves.

Warm touches are always hidden away to the public eye, but often shared between two kindred spirits underneath the man in the moon's watchful eye. Jungkook, as he reaches his maturity, grows strong. His jaw sharpens, and his eyes darken. His hair grows long, and he gains weight. Now at the proud age of 20, Jungkook had become a man before everyone's eyes, including the eyes of foreign monarchs and their eligible bachelorettes.

One day, you're serving the Royal family at a private dinner, when the topic of marriage comes up for the first time since his birthday.

"Your mother has made friends with the mother of the Austrian Princess, and she's invited you to the cordial ball to introduce yourself to the Princess. An allyship with Austria would prove advantageous for our relations with France, so you are to make your best impression." The King wipes his mouth. Setting his fork down, he continues: "It is in the family's best interest for you to marry her, if the French Princess, Anastasie, does not present this season or the next." The Queen holds the King's hand firmly, reassuring him from his shoulder. She wears a slight frown on her face, her eyes worrisome, somber. The King hides his anxiety, as he's been accustomed to from decades of responsibility. Would this be the face of Jungkook soon?

For now, Jungkook's face is scrunching at the thought of marrying Anastasie. She's not the most delightful young woman, her imprudence ruined her enjoyment of any event. She couldn't keep an intuitive conversation about regional politics and domestic policy for the life of her. Her people were on the brink of overthrowing the aristocracy, he was sure of it.

"Yes, father," is what you hear from him before you disappear down the stairs to fetch desserts.

Jiyoo interrupts your quest for sweets with a letter, signed by His Grace. She has a naturally innocent demeanor, her cheeks rosy and her frame as delicate as a feather. "Y/N, you have another special request from His Majesty...can I ask you why you get so many of these?" She looks genuinely curious, not a single menacing thought behind those eyes.

"It's because the Prince really really loves his cake." I mean, technically it was true. Jungkook never passed up an opportunity to squeeze, smack, or dig his fingernails into your ass during your sessions.

"Oh." Jiyoo pouts. "So it's not because you're like, in love or anything?" Her eyes are glued to the floor. You were expecting this question eventually, as the other girls in the kitchen were already suspecting it. It was only a matter of time before word slipped into the girl's ears.

"As much as I enjoy the Prince's interest in my baking, it isn't my place to confess any sort of feeling for him." Your answer is straightforward enough, so Jiyoo nods and hands you the letter. Another request.

Outside the Palace, Winter came like the wind. Lakes froze over, and couples tied up their skates and danced on the ice. The trees were bare and brown, not a single leaf persisting through the chilling breath of Jack Frost.

Jungkook had left for the Winter Palace, to volunteer and raise spirits up in the North. As heir to the throne, he was to be Commander in Chief of the Royal Armed Forces, and therefore needed to undergo intensive training in order to boost morale.

You're back home, and in your wake is your father, who has now grown tangibly tired. He's been on a strict diet of warm vegetable soup for about three months, now. His eyes are sunken, but he still wears a subtle smile even during his most trying days.

Match girls make their rounds at night, you watch as the lamplighters illuminate the streets with their tall ladders and their taller peacoats. Shop windows glow warm shades of yellow and creme; inscriptions on the glass create shadows on the white snow.

"Wow. It's almost as cold as the King's heart out here." You step outside one day with a cup of tea, sneaking in a cheeky smirk. Yeah, good one.

"I heard that!" You turn towards the little voice. A child, maybe about 9 or 10 years old is pointing at you. You squint at it.

"Well, it's true..." You mumble. You have a bit of change in your pocket, so you walk towards a stand to buy a hot bun and a paper.

"Chilly today, hon...Best you take this on the house." The tenant hands you a steaming cake wrapped in a simple cloth and your paper. You stick the paper in your dress pocket and take back your change. You nod a 'thank you.'

You spill the contents of your pockets on the dining table and snatch the paper, snapping it open. Your eyes eagerly skim the headline: "Prince Jungkook Fires Up Royal Army." Below is an article detailing the happenings of His Majesty. All of it sounded very intense, the running, strategizing, first aid training...Was there anything Prince Jeon couldn't nail on the first try?

You set the paper down and pick up your now lukewarm tea. In the back of your mind you're coping with the fact that the Spring Solstice is next week, and that marks the beginning of Jungkook's last season as a Prince.

The King is ill with tuberculosis, and recovery is unlikely. If Jungkook is to marry, it is next season and that was final.

Sitting at the window of his Winter Castle study, Jungkook plays with a ring nestled between his fingers. He looks out onto the lake, as if he's trying to reach you with his gaze. His heart is tight knowing that it would be the season he chooses his bride. Actually, he'd already made up his mind long ago. If his duty was to marry, there was no way to evade such a responsibility. He had to fulfill it, despite his anxieties.

He straightens up and walks out of the hollow room with a firm step.

You awaken with the sound of horse's hooves thudding against the Earth. It is yet to be dawn, and in the distance, thunder roars mightily.

A figure wearing a long, black hood hoists itself off of the animal, tying it to a nearby post. It walks towards an obscure entrance, unknown to many staff.

Intrigued, you wrap a blanket around yourself and peek out at the stranger. His fingers are shorter than his palms, and that's when he tosses of his hood, his eyes set on you. "Y/N..."

You're bewildered by his guise, questions filling your head.

"I was horny, so I left camp" He sits down at the counter, catapulting a cookie into his mouth.

You roll your eyes. "And the guards let you?! Jungkook!" You whisper-yelled at him, readjusting your makeshift blanket-dress.

"Obviously not!" He puffed out his chest with pride. "I bribed them," he smirks.

"You're insufferable," you scoff, your eyes wandering down to observe his physique. His shirt is anything but conservative, highlighting the muscle he'd earned through laborious, sweat-inducing drills. You can feel his eyes on your face as you observe him.

"You can't hide it either," he crosses his arms. "You're standing in the kitchen with a blanket around your naked body." He flicks his tongue. He steps forward, putting a finger under your jaw so you're looking him in the eye.

Your eyes fill with lust as he speaks over your lips. "Look at yourself..." A crash is heard in the other room.

Jungkook's head darts up and in a flash, he disappears into the night.

'Fuck.' You gather your dress from the floor and shuffle back to your chamber.

The first event of the season commences with the most exaltant of spirits as friends of old greet each other with youthful smiles. Juicy exposés, enticing tales, and thoughtful greetings are exchanged in the most formal manner, and the conversation is lively; the most controversial topic of conversation, however, is the rumor that Jungkook is to marry this season.

So far, he's been to four different private residences within his own Kingdom and has been invited, by the secretary of King Louis XVII to meet their daughter. It would be an understatement to say that stakes were high for the pending King.

You were kneading your dough a little too hard thinking about it. "Not so rough, y/n!" Ms.Kang snatches the mixture from your hands. "What is up with you lately, you're so tense! It's really disrupting the kitchen's dynamic."

You shrug it off. "It's going to be hard sedating Anastasie's sweet tooth, I suppose."

"Well, you seem to be doing just fine dealing with Jungkook's addiction to cakes...She's perfect for him, really." Ms.Kang throws more flour on your kneading table and steps off. You give up on the dough, covering it with a cloth and letting it rise.

Jungkook is tapping his feet, munching on finger sandwiches as he waits on you to make an appearance.

"Dearest Prince, look, I am wearing Mediterranean violet!" A duchess shouts as she passes by him, to which he raises his eyebrows at. Another, with dark green eyes approaches and begins speaking rapidly in French at him. Frightened and undereducated, his canned response was: "Excusez-moi, Pouvez-vous répéter plus lentement s'il vous plaît," to which the duchess furrows her eyebrows before something else catches her attention, elsewhere.

Truth is, Jungkook is incredibly shaken at the thought of announcing his engagement tonight. Well, that and the fact that you had yet to pop out of the kitchen. Man, those finger sandwiches were good.

As the night progresses, Jungkook realizes that if he doesn't get up on that platform and say what he needed to say, he'd have to say it in London. Setting his fears aside, he plants himself on top of the orchestral stage and taps a champagne glass with a cheese fork. The music comes to a stop.

With conviction, he begins: "The time has come that I announce my engagement. To all of my beloved friends, who have introduced me to the most beautiful, talented, diverse, and benevolent ladies I've come to get to know over the years, I thank you from the depths of my soul." He swallows and continues, his confident voice masking his trembling. "The life of a Prince is defined by the virtues presented to him at birth. Those virtues are: duty, responsibility, grace, kindness, mercy and integrity." Here comes the part, oh shit.

"I am abdicating my throne to my Cousin, the Duke of Namseong."

Silence sweeps the room. You poke your head out to see what was going on.

"...to marry the love of my life, y/n." He points at you. Your face is cherry red, and you find yourself dropping those same Danish fucking pastries all over the carpet.

"Shit," you fall on your knees, plucking them from the ground one by one. You don't know whether to run as fast as you can or to present yourself, but your body seems to be currently doing the latter. You go along with it.

Jungkook takes your hand tenderly on the stage. "I am unable to perform my duties as King, and therefore am ineligible for the throne." His touch gives you the will to continue beside him. You feel the pure fear rushing through your love's veins, and he knows that this is the hardest thing he'll ever have to do, yet he stands by his announcement.

So, if Jungkook doesn't get to be King of this World, he at least will forever be the King of Your Heart.

But all this, of course...is all in Your, dear reader, Head.

~

a/n:

hope you enjoyed.

[omg-snakes]

Hello! I keep BCIs (boas), but this is more of a general snake question, so I'm hoping you can help. I have this enormous grapewood branch in one of my tanks, and it fits nice and securely, but the only way it fits also makes it squeak super loudly against the glass when my snake pushes against it. I need to find something snake-friendly that I can do to resolve this. I figure I could probably smear aquarium silicone where it touches the glass, but I don't want to wind up with a bunch of little silicone bits everywhere as the friction destroys it. So I was thinking maybe something like vaseline? Maybe I could lubricate the end of the branch in some way so it stops making that horrible squeak? I don't know if that's snake-friendly though, and I don't want to use any kind of food oil because I expect it would eventually rot. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks for your time and your lovely blog!

Hey friend!

I think the better option would be to either secure the branch permanently in place or keep the branch from touching the glass at all, since as you've pointed out most options to reduce friction aren't really feasible. Continued rubbing could scratch the glass and increase the risk of a crack down the road.

Oil or grease like Vaseline is going to trap dirt and dust and will be a mess to clean so I wouldn't recommend that option, either.

You could use some silicone to glue the branch to the glass, but that means it won't ever come out for cleaning so that might not be a good choice.

Another option would be to dip the part of the branch that's touching into some rubberizing tool dip or use something like Sugru to make a tough but squishy pad that prevents rubbing. These are nontoxic once fully dry. They might still squeak, though.

I recommend keeping the branch from touching the glass altogether. Grab some sandpaper and sand down the spot that touches until it isn't rubbing on the glass anymore. This shouldn't take much time or effort since you're only removing a millimeter or two in a single spot.

I hope this suggestion helps and you get some relief from the horrible squeaking!

[muffindaddystyles]

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒.

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐲/𝐧) 𝐱 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲.

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲: 𝐈𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟!!!

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞

Being a university kiddo isn't a joke you're one of it's victim and how insensitive it will sound but you worked as paparazzi because you were literally going homeless.

One buzzy night when Harry was just having a light environment get together with four of his friends in his London's home you were practically managing your bum on his kitchen's windows deck which was providing you the clear view of them just chillin' out.

You felt bad. A horrible person who goes on invadilating people's life but you've a contract of one more month and they need random ass photos of celebrities specifically Harry, else they'll conduct your money for which you worked late nights three months prior.

Your hands shook and you were about to tumble back into his garden many times because Harry had a great loving role in your life, you've been admiring him for years and this's completely out of your line. And you know he has a bodyguard who's monstrously taller than you and wouldn't take a second to kick you into jail.

An idiolising smile quirked up your lips seeing him in good mood sipping on his margaritas and you sigh debating whether you should do it or not.

You muttered a "fuck it" before snapping purposedly blurry photos and you were about to carefully jump down when your feet went into wrong place.

You tried to hold in your shriek when you rolled over the sink counter first then onto the floor, the fall was so painful it made you saw stars but you didn't cry even though they were fighting to spill out.

Everyone's head snapped at the chaos and Harry abruptly stood up striding towards the kitchen.

With the help of dining chair you were on your feet with a groan and you've a bleeding lip too. Harry's angry voice boomed through the walls, "What the actual fuck!?" He tilts his head towards you questioningly and you wrap yourself in your arms shrinking at his fierceness.

Now tears slipping down your cheeks like a never ending waterfall and you tried not to hiccup, sob or whimper.

"Who the hell are ya?" He's pissed. His friends remained quite watching the scenario from the living room and he's kinda feeling remorseful because a dainty girl in flared denims and a 𝙵.𝚁.𝙸.𝙴.𝙽.𝙳.𝚂 tee-shirt with blazing red embarrassed cheeks soaked with innocent tears, her protecting herself just from her arms from Harry as if he'll hurt her and lip bleeding so badly Harry was about to rush her to his washroom to clean it up.

But all in the end he kept his guard strong. Because this's from many times his privacy was being invalidated.

"I-m's...m'so sorry, Harry." You hiccuped in between your breaths and He arches his brows for if you got any further explanation for your actions.

"I'm not gonna lie to you. I was capturing your pictures sneakily from this window and w-when I was bout to go, slipped." He kind of found it cute how you said 'slipped' at the end but he let it go, before he would've said another thing you continued hastily.

"I just hate doing this. Hate invadilating people's privacy but I really really need money...you know..." You sob out gesticulating with your hands and everyone including Harry felt broken for you, "...I never wanted to do this. Never took single one of you since I've started this pathetic job and when I asked them that I want to leave they told me I can't until next month." At this Harry sighed loudly combing his hair back taking your arm and making your shaking body sit at the chair.

You couldn't stop sobbing. You feel so fuckin' pathetic you want to just kill yourself at the moment because everything's crashing down onto you just when you were infront of Harry Styles after sneaking on him, "Th-they told me that they need your pictures specifically else they'd conduct my money from previous." Harry pinches his bottom lip listening to you with full attention, his gaze a bit concerned.

"That's very disgustin' of them." He spats bitterly new-profound hatred for agencies enveloping him, "m..I'm so sorry. I'll delete 'em right infront of you." Your brought your camera infront of him with trembling hands but he wraps his fingers around your wrist to stop you.

"S'okay. I don't care, jus' have 'em and throw it to their faces." You shook your head and Harry's amused how caring you're for him even though you guys have never met, now he feels bad for shouting at you "no, please my morals will eat me alive. Can't do this to you." rubbing the back of your nose and in doing so you irritated your lips fingers getting all bloody. You didn't noticed you were bleeding until at the moment and your eyes widened. You hate blood it makes your nerves crawl.

"Oh my goodness." You gasp horrifically fingers vigorously trembling as you raised them to look at them clearly, your skin drained paler and Harry quickly stood up taking you with him to sink.

"S'okay, we all do mistakes sometimes. But you need it right now....can you duck down a little??" He asks you at the end while talking to you to divert your mind from the gor imaginations you were having in your brain.

He cups the water from running faucet bringing it to your lips cleaning your mouth with gentle rub of his soothing palms. His hands are calloused soft like cotton candy that tingles when it fuses on your tongue.

"I know what you're doin' isn't one of your very proud job but I can help you. Just take these pictures and ask me fo' more if they send you again until they set you free." He again makes you sit at the chair and you've calmed down better from before.

"S'not a big deal fo' me it's jus' pictures. I get annoyed when they're taken without m'permission." One his friends bought him a bottle of vaseline and he 'thanked' them before dipping his index inside the petroleum jelly, smudging it over your lips. You hissed at a certain nib and he gently shushed you, "Thank you Harry." You whispered bottom lip wobbling and he scrunched his nose at your cuteness.

"I really thought your tall bodyguard will drag me to jail." At first he thought you weren't serious but the frown and long stare of yours to his orange polished nails caused his heart to crack into pieces.

The thought of you getting scared like this multiple times, getting shouted and cursed at by celebrities, sometimes getting injured like this incident made him well...sad for you.

He stroked the back of your knuckles which are bruised too. He chuckled coarsely through his regret trying to lift the mood, "now..m'not that of a monster." He drawled out eyes flickering all over your head playfully which's lowered into shame.

You sniffled giggling through your tears standing up quickly, "I-should probably go. sorry once again...I'll try my best not to ever disturb you again." You bowed a little in an apologising way and Harry wanted to ask you to have a glass of milk to soothe the sting of your lip. He kinda wanted you to clash to him at sometimes again once he was out of his haze at what just happened.

"No problem, stay safe darlin'." He smiles at you and you at him this time he escorted you out through his main door. All his friends had a good laugh at what just happened; a girl almost breaking her bones in Harry's kitchen and him shouting at her only to scold her at the end to be careful when you sneak inside someone's house.

"Heyyyy." He throws his head annoyed when his friends found his timidness funny, "she was a nice lady, jus' little trapped into her situation."

The next week you were on his door this time knocking, one more guy waiting for you to bring Harry's pictures at the backstreet.

"Heya!" He was extra chirpy today no-wonder he had an album coming, "sorry." You muttered raising the camera that he would look at it clearly he got it what you want and grinned at you ushering you inside.

"S'alright. What do you wan' me to do?" You giggled when he made different postures one like an english girl, hand on his hip, arse in air and arm above his head enthusiastically.

"Not any of that, they should look random."

"Okay then. Move to m'garden." With a small hand on your waist he guided you to the same garden you sneaked in his house that day, "just pretend like you're doing something script-y type you know. You've an album comin' right?" He nods shushing his butterflies when you used your own words like 'script-y'.

He rushed to grab his journal sitting on stool pretending like he's writing something on it and both of you guffawed out breathily when your camera's snaps echoed, "perfect. Thank you Harry." You walked back inside and he was shining like a chime under lilac sun.

"Can I hug you?" You asked for his permission and he slinged his arm around you hugging you close to him. He was in love with your scent. It's roses and fresh water as if you bathed in rosy milk.

"Have a cup of tea, with me?" He asked you politely but you smiled, "another time. that piggy assistant of my agency is waiting for me at the backstreet."

"Didn't wanted him to know your address." You muttered swaying from one feet to another and Harry's eyes widened in amusement. He again hugged you taking you a bit by surprise but you wrapped your arms around his neck tipping on your toes for the proper embrace.

.

To that day and this you're his best friend more than that too living with him in his house because you just moved out from uni's dormetary and there was no good place to live so he offered you to live with him until.

It's been an YEAR now you're living along him because even though none of you wants to deny it you both kinda got addicted to eachother's presence and now it's hard to let go.

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑢𝑦𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒.

He drags you to his friend's parties even though you feel so out of them. You remember when one time he practically threw you over his shoulder and in his car to a party at Kendall's house.

You were fuming for two reasons. First you were litreally in your pyjamas and bunny slip-ons, second Kendall recognized you and said in that mock tone "are you the same paparazzi girl that tripped while sneaking on me, right?" Harry was...well he didn't liked it at all. You're his bestfriend that he's wishing to keep for lifetime and he knows that phase of your life was the dying need of yours.

You weren't angry neither did you hide it. You nodded at her with sheer embarrassment in your eyes and you didn't had to tell Harry before he was taking both of you into his car driving home.

"Wish I could just remove that part of my life." You murmured sitting crossed legs on the wine rugged floor and Harry's head perked up at that while he handed you the glass of milk and cookies taking you in his lap.

"We all have that part in our life, don't care." You squished your face in the crook of his neck while he stroked your hair cooing softly into your ear, "moppet don't be sad, m'sorry. S'my fault." He kisses your head with little pecks and you giggled when he purposedly fanned his breath under your earlobe where you're most ticklish.

"Wanna play poker?" He pulls you and you bobbed your head.

He always do this. Always knows how to lift up your mood when the work load's sometimes too much. You guys give eachother's massages even though yours used to be so brutal but he didn't even said a word until one day you offered Sarah one and she squealed in a hiss.

He laughed it off as you looked at him horrified that you never cared if the massage was okay, blowing hits at him while he asked Jeff to stop you only to kiss your forehead when you pouted at him.

Both of you've feelings for eachother. Hardcore one but you refuse to let them out too scared to ruin what you've.

You guys fart in eachother's presence and take a piss with open doors. You guys are that close. When you're sprawled onto his bed without any conscious because he fucked you mercilessly last night and if the next morning you get periods making a whole damn map of Antarctica onto his white sheets he just wakes up gently not to startle you, sits you on couch for a moment quickly changes his sheets and tells you that he has brought pads, chocolates and teas for you hands you your panties ushering you inside the washroom.

You're so thankful for him. For his presence. His care for you and you just wants to return it, so you do in the form of endless cuddles at night, drunk deep talks at the rooftop, three kisses in total because he likes no more less than three before going to sleep. Making sure his coffee's perfectly brewed in the morning and you guys have enough maple syrup for his likeness.

You sometimes knits him cute balled shape gloves and bakes cookies for him, sometimes brings him dinner while you're with your girlfriends.

You guys are so domestic and in love but with friends tag that none of you've figured your feelings out.

You brought a date at home once. Drunkly kissing that guy but it was all ruined when that guy broke Harry's vase that you gifted him once. It woke Harry up and he wasn't even tiny bit of pleased with your swollen lips, watery eyes and black dress showing excessively more than he wanted.

The guy was litreally shocked to see Harry Styles walking out of one of the rooms and excused himself from you as if he saw the ghost.

He sternly arched his brow while you fumbled with your rings which are his's btw, there was a whole lecture of how you went to clubbing with your girls and came back with some random cheap guy, that you shouldn't drink so much because you forget how to function and that how sickly he was worried for you but you didn't picked his phone.

But when you opened your mouth for a good excuse he raised his index in the air shushing you like a daddy would do, "not under my roof, y/n" then when you complained you're a person too and desires sex. He grabbed your jaw smashing his lips on yours in a fervent kiss and fucked you raw against the leather wall of his living room with your dress still on.

From that day you're friends with extra benefits anyone could ask for.

Today he's out with his boys for a football match. You were watching friends reruns, your stuff toy under your armpit and the bowl full of popcorns in your lap. Everything was running when you drifted to deep sleep on the couch only to be woken up again due to loud impatient knocks.

Harry at the door shifting from one leg to another tucking his jeans down from over his crotch and you yawned loudly, "Harry? game's ov-" but you were cut off when grabbed your neck thumb under your ear and tilted his chin to kiss you deeply.

"So, fuckin' hard..." He hissed against your lips in urgency shutting the door with his feet and scurrying both of you to couch, "please pretty girl suck me off, want that so bad." He whined requesting nicely and you sighed rubbing sleep from your eyes.

"Okay then you owe me a breakfast in morning." He bobbed his head taking your hand to make you sit in between his legs, "anythin' fo' m'darlin'." He hissed grunting at the end throwing his head back on the cushions and your lips quirked up.

"Sure you went to watch football not porn?" You unzipped his fly and he raised his hips kissing your lips wetly, "what got my tarzan so rock hard, hmm?" You mumbled against his lips sucking at his bottom lip yanking his black jeans down till his ankles.

"You, please you." He whimpered when you palmed his visible prodding bulge through his boxers and the blush crept up your cheeks at his blabbering.

Sitting crossed-legs in between his open wide legs you stroked the inside of his thighs and he bucked his hips grinding his bulge agaisnt your face.

His thick member hit his lower abdomen when you fred it from his boxers, you raised a little elbows digging into his thighs tucking your nose under his eternity to lick his balls fondling with them.

"Oh fuck!" You pinned his hips down lazily taking your previous position, he's heavy and thick in your palm as you pumped him through lazy strokes.

You're extra clumsy when you wake up from sleep so your hands shook. the crown of his cock nudging your lips and chin making him moan out loud and he clenched his fingers from avoiding to just grab your cheeks and fuck your mouth.

"Yes. Pet daddy's little petal just take me, yeah?" He pushed your hair back making an eye contact with you and nodded you licked his head that sent him grunting.

You put your chin on his thigh near his knee looking at him with doe eyes admiring him when he was fully inside your mouth, "takes me so well, fuck." His hands maneuvered into your hair other lacing with yours ontop of his other thigh.

He pinched his eyes when you drooled all over his cock cheeks going shallow as you tried to suck some of your saliva down, you're lazy and in no mood to do some work so you murmured against his cock while tugging it furiously.

"Fuck my mouth daddy." You didn't had to say twice when he fisted your hair around his palm putting you in your place and fucking your mouth with speedy snaps of his hips.

"So fuckin' sloppy. Love it when ye' give me sloppy filthy heads." You hummed around him gagging when he pushed his cock to your throat pulling back to stroke him over your tongue when he saw your teary eyes, "hmm. not gonna last." His tummy with ferns rippled with ecastasy and you patted his thigh to give you access to his balls.

Your drool was tricking down till his base so you smudged it massaging his heavy blue balls getting his little whimpers in return and a "fuck baby. fuck me, please." You kept on fondling with his balls and the soft skin of his thighs palming his pelvis.

"Gonna cum in your mouth." You squeezed his hand eyelashes fluttering while he writhed under you and the last thrust of him inside your mouth caused him to fill your mouth with his cum.

With a whine he pulled out from your mouth and your eyes glinted as you straddled up his lap cradling his soft baby face in your hands. Moaning when he kissed you how lovers do, after that it was all sloppy you kissing him and you riding him throwing your head back giving him opportunity to splash blues on your throat to mark you his's.

"Oh daddy." You whimpered as he stretched his palm over your arched back your pelvis slapping his in an erotic noise. He was smiling at you litreally a genuine one.

He loves you so much. He knows you love him and he has thought of confessing it to you many times but he's scared to ruin what you've already have too precious.

"C'mon baby that's it, yeah there?" He circled your clitoris in pleasuring motions whispering in your ear, "use daddy." You moaned out sweetly holding his shoulders and before you know you hit the deep end of your pleasure in waves and kept on cumming while he kept on fucking you to your high.

"Ah!" You gasped alluringly when you came another time thrashing into his hold that he had to grasp the nape of your neck from falling back resting your temples against eachother.

"I-" 𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢. But he gulped his words back pecking your lips, "Is my baby sleepy?" He pouts at you pawing at your hips and you hummed letting your head fall onto his chest.

He slept in your bed that night after taking care of you, he didn't blinked taking in your afterglow, stroking the apple of your cheeks with the back of his knuckles, pecking your lips featherly murmuring sweet nothings he doesn't have guts to say to you when you are awake.

You all invited Harry's friends to have a breakfast at your guys home. Your living room was crowding with laughters and giggly chats as you flipped pancakes.

Everyone's head snapped at someone particular stepping inside the living room, they all smiled at her and she hugged Harry almost kissing him on his lips. You were busy inside reminiscing another story of you to Sarah of you playing poker with Harry and him loosing to you treating you with your favourite chocolates.

One of your friends came inside with pity eyes and when you questioned her with the the tilt of your head she shook her head smiling at you.

Your beaming grin vanished when your eyes fell over Harry with his arm slinged over a women with blonde hair and fuckin' beautiful you could've ever imagined.

"Meet y/n my bestfriend. We live together." He told her proudly and her smiled wavered into frustrated one.

"Hi." You greeted her shyly ignoring the fact you're hurting so bad, "c'mon have a seat." You ushered her gulping the cobweb of tears when she took your seat one beside Harry but you shrugged it off sitting along Mitch.

You gathered everyone here with the thought of you maybe sharing the idea that you should move out but now it's decided that you indeed's moving out. This's your jealousy and hurt all in one decision.

"Guys..." You cleared your throat voice as if nothing's happening to you replacing the haze in your irirses with playfullness.

When you got everyone's attention you announced "I'm moving out." making Harry choke on his waffles, "no the fuck you're not." He grunted as the girl he brought with him made him sip his water.

"We need to talk." He spoke curtly and everyone looked at both of you with curiosity. They all want you to be together so bad.

"Harry-" You hissed when he dragged you inside the kitchen like a child you pouted your lower lip craning your head not to look at him, "what the fuck you're talkin' you never discussed it before hand with me?"

"I think it's time for me to move out." You whispered bottom lip wobbling and he's connecting dots on your hasty decision, "not when I exist." He said smugly trapping you between the counter and him.

"Does it matter? Go back to your girl." You muttered pinching your nose and he stepped back looking at you as if you grew two heads.

He laughed loudly holding his sides bending and slamming the counter. "What." You murmured and he pointed at you shutting his eyes tight.

"You're jealous." You quickly smacked his arm saying in high pitch, "no. I'm not!!" You squealed surprisingly when he grabbed you harshly and everyone's ears outside perked up either thinking you guys are fighting or fucking.

He cupped your cheeks kissing you with amiablity that only lovers hold for eachother, murmuring with a whine inside your mouth with each nibble "but baby you're my girl."

You looked at him accusingly and he scrunches his nose at how adorable you're looking being angry at him, "you're always gonna be my baby even the mother of my babies." You scoffed not knowing if he's joking with you.

His eyes hooded with affection and he again cupped your neck tilting your chin to his level by his thumbs, "m'serious y/n. I love you so fuckin' much." You gasped loudly which was caught by his parted lips.

"You do?" You're feeling like it's a dream. "I do very much." He pecked your lips again and again making you sob at the same counter you sobbed when you first had him.

"I love you too." Harry's heart forget to breath when he heard those words in your sweetness and he pushed you closer to him murmuring in your hair, "say it again."

"I love you. Love you. Love you. Love-" But you were cut off when he kissed you deeply with a whine never letting you go.

He explained you that the new guest's just one of his friend's friends she forced them to hang out even though they protested and with him tucking you under his armpit you both stepped outside of kitchen.

"We're together." You announced loudly and all of the people at table rolled their eyes.

"You guys were from litreally two years." They teased you but after that showered you in hugs and kisses.

Life's good with Harry.