#no this isn’t a result of me being hormonal and needing to take my maternal instincts out on somebody… why do you ask?

[not-a-heretic]

y’know what? fuck you *de-ages your forbie*

do you guys think they ever ran into one another as kids?

[idreamofplaid]

Finding Destiny

Square Filled: Plus Size for @spnkinkbingo & Late Presentation for @spnabobingo

Characters: alpha!Sam x omega!Reader; Madame Tremaine (OFC)

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Y/N always felt like an Omega. Life told her otherwise, until tonight.

Word Count: 3027

Created for @spnkinkbingo & @spnabobingo

You smelled like a garden had exploded on you, a garden with some miscellaneous spices and nature smells. Truth was, you smelled like a mess, but you’d been desperate. Living as a Beta was like being invisible. 

You were convinced it didn’t help that your body wasn’t fashion model thin, or thin at all for that matter, instead having generous soft curves in your breasts, hips, and thighs. You had spent the last ten years watching Alphas and Omegas pair up, claim each other, shower each other with their love, devotion, and commitment. It had left you feeling more and more lonely, and food was your coping mechanism. The result of that was more pounds added to a body you already thought was too large.

Meanwhile, with each passing year, you felt more and more like life was passing you by. You, too, wanted to be claimed. There were no Alpha tendencies in your makeup; you were sure you were an Omega. You longed to be cherished, protected, filled with pups. Your untapped maternal instincts were strong, and you wanted to have a mate, be a mate. The Beta lifestyle wasn’t yours, so how had you been born into it?

Initially, when your heat didn’t come. You were confused, followed by disappointed, then discouraged, and finally resigned. Periodically, throughout all these reactions, you were devastated. The devastation overtook you when you least expected it, and then mercifully would leave again so you could function and pretend to be a happy Beta.  Had it stayed with you constantly, no doubt you would have fallen into a deep depression. 

It was that unwanted and sometimes paralyzing sense of hopelessness which always returned due to your Beta status that had sent you to the establishment owned by Madame Tremaine. It was rumored that she could bring on a reluctant onset of the first heat. That’s what you were once again trying to convince yourself this was, abandoning your previous period of accepting your fate. That’s all it was, a delay. Your body just needed some encouragement, a little push to get your hormones in motion. That first heat was going to happen; it was just slow.

So, it was in that frame of mind that you entered her herb shop at the end of a narrow street in an unfashionable part of the city. Wooden shelves lined the walls, filled with glass jars of various sizes that contained materials of every description. Dried flowers hung from low hanging rafters, and a display case that was filled with what appeared to be rocks and gemstones ran the length of one wall.

The bell over the door had tinkled when you entered the shop, summoning Madame Tremaine from the rear room of the shop. She pushed aside a beaded curtain that hung in the doorway leading to the back. She sized you up, her eyes traveling over you from head to toe. You were wearing a full skirt and a peasant style blouse. It was a cute outfit, but you still felt inadequate and self conscious about your size. For a moment, you felt a little pathetic because you’d come here seeking her help at changing what nature, God, the universe, or whatever had decided should be your lot in life. 

She was, of course, sleek and dressed all in form fitting black pants and a black shirt that emphasized her long, graceful arms and fingers. She had adorned those arms and fingers with turquoise rings and silver bangles, while large silver hoops hung from her ears. You were thinking of turning around and walking right back out when she said, “What brings you to see me tonight?”

You were determined not to stutter in spite of your nervousness. You could at least pretend to have a fraction of the confidence this woman so clearly possessed. “I’ve heard you can help Omegas with the onset of their first heat.”

She looked at you again. “How old are you?” You hesitated, not wanting to answer her question. You definitely should have left. This was so embarrassing. She lifted her chin and gave a wave of her hand, causing her bracelets to jingle. “Never mind. I’m sure I have what you need. It’s just a matter of finding the right combination of smells that compose your scent. Your body will then react with them and produce the scent on its own, triggering your first heat.”

For the next two hours, she had experimented on you with her herbs, flowers, and ground spices. She began with the flowers, explaining to you, “Very often an Omega’s scent includes a floral note. We only need to find the right one, then move on to the other elements.” It wasn’t tuberose, jasmine, violet, magnolia, or plumeria. She tried at least seven others before giving up on the flowers.

She moved to a particular row of jars with purpose. “Perhaps we should try something sweet instead.” The next round of fragrances she applied to your skin consisted of honey, vanilla, chocolate, coconut, sugar, and caramel. She was beginning to look a little perplexed, making you feel like a failure all over again. Not only were you unable to find a mate, now this wasn’t working either; but you needed it too. You felt like this was your last chance. 

“How do you know it isn’t working, Madame?” You had absentmindedly grabbed your skirt and started to twist the fabric.

“Because I’m an Alpha; I could smell it if you were producing your own scent.” Of course she was an Alpha, all the confidence. Her tone had been a little sharper than she had intended. You were, after all, a paying customer. She shouldn’t let her frustration show. Madame softened her voice and tried a different approach. Perhaps you are a more rare type of Omega without the usual sweet or flowery smell. Let’s give something else a try.”

Next she went for a smaller set of jars that contained spices and pulled some tiny stone chips that were near a larger blue stone from the display case. First, she used a mortar and pestle to grind the stone chips then added some rosemary to the bowl, grinding it up as well, and finally sprinkling in some almond oil to bind it together. Your curiosity got the better of you and made you brave enough to ask, “Why did you add stones? They don’t smell.”

“Ah, but they do; it is just very subtle,” she answered, “and sometimes just the catalyst that is needed to activate the chemical process that will result in you producing your own scent.” She applied this mixture to the inside of your wrist. Still, the result was nothing. After that, she went through the motions of trying a few more things, but you knew with each passing minute this had been a huge waste of your hard earned money. 

You left her store and practically slinked to your car, wanting nothing more than to get home to your favorite robe and a glass of red wine. When you closed the door with a heavy thud, your eyes landed on the gas gauge. Dammit. It was almost on empty. You wouldn’t make it home without stopping for gas. Perfect. There would be one more humiliation before this night was through. Gas stations in this part of town didn’t tend to carry out transactions through the pay at the pump method. 

Perhaps your tendency to be invisible would play in your favor this time you thought as you pushed on the metal bar to open the glass door leading into the gas station. Your last shred of hope at maintaining your dignity had been destroyed when you’d pulled up to the pump and found a sign attached to it just as you’d expected. Pay Before You Pump. Now you had to go into this store smelling like a cheap whorehouse. 

You made your way to the counter as quickly as you could, hoping to just put down your money, dash back outside again, get your gas, and go. You mumbled $30 on pump 3 and reached for your purse. That’s when you heard it, a voice that was just the right amount of deep and smoother than the honey back at Madame Tremaine’s shop. “Where are your apples?”

The guy behind the counter looked up reluctantly from his handheld video game. “We don’t have any. Sold the last of them this morning.” He turned his attention back to his game, and you turned to see who had spoken. What kind of face went with that voice?

The answer was the kind of face you saw on magazine covers and movie screens. The man with the sexy voice tried with the clerk again. “But I smell…” Then the gorgeous hazel eyes in that handsome face caught yours, and he tilted his head causing his golden brown hair to fall over his forehead. “It’s you.” His eyes narrowed a little.

Then something happened that had never occurred in your life. You were overcome by the smells of mahogany, champagne, and leather. The smell washed through you, entering every cell in your body, causing slick to pool in your panties, and your knees to go weak. You were beginning to sink to the floor.

The kid behind the counter finally put down his video game. “Lady, are you okay?” He was a Beta. He couldn’t smell any of what was happening two feet from him. 

The mysterious Alpha caught you. He held you up while he put two twenties down on the counter. “For her gas.” He helped you out to your car, got you seated inside, then filled your tank. He walked back to you when he was done and leaned down to put his hand on your shoulder. The smell was overwhelming now. It was heady, more than if you’d drunk the champagne instead of just smelling it. 

The Alpha kneeled in front of you. That magnificent voice had softened when he spoke to you. “I don’t think you should drive. I’m going to call my brother to come get my car, and then I’ll drive you home.”

Your head was feeling too light to argue, and there was a twinge of feeling bordering on pain starting between your legs. You nodded. “Okay.” Just like that. You trusted him, trusted him completely. It felt right what he was doing, taking care of you. 

You closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the headrest. His voice sounded farther away, and you caught snippets of his conversation as you attempted to navigate all the emotional and physical feelings of your first heat. “Dean, i need you to come get the car.” Dean must be his brother. You missed the next part and then, “I’ll explain it all later. Just trust me. It’s never been more important.”

He returned to you and used that same soft tone he’d had with you before. “C’mon, let’s get you home. He lifted you like you weighed nothing more than a feather and carried you around to the passenger’s side of the car. He settled you in the seat and walked back around to take his place behind the wheel. Then, he turned to you. “I’m Sam.”  His eyes focused on yours again. “And you’re my Omega.”

You gave him directions to your house, and when you got there he carried you inside, across the threshold just like you were a bride. “Where’s your bedroom?” It didn’t seem at all strange to have this man you’d just met in your house, or to be giving him directions to your bedroom. You wanted him there. The idea of him leaving scared you a little bit. 

Sam put you down on your bed, and that fear bubbled up in your heart. You reached for him. “Don’t leave.” 

He took your hand. “I wasn’t going to leave. Just go outside the room so you can change for bed. Your smell is so strong. All I can smell is you. It’s going to bring on my rut. So, I should probably put some distance between us. But I’m going to stay. Make sure you’re okay.”

You squeezed his hand. “I’m not. I’m not okay. I need you. This is so…” A huge gush of slick ran down your thighs. You cried out. “Sam, please. I don’t know what’s happening.”

A look of concern shadowed his gray green hazel eyes. “Your heats haven’t been like this before?”

You had a nearly vise like grip on his hand now; it was starting to hurt, and you grabbed his forearm with your other hand. “I’ve never had a heat before. This is the first one.”

It took a couple of seconds for Sam to comprehend what you’d just said. Then a fierce, protective gentleness filled his eyes; he didn’t let go of your hand until he was on the bed with you, then he took you in his arms. “I’ve got you, my Omega. It’s gonna be okay. I’m here. I won’t leave you.”

“It hurts, Sam. Why does it hurt?” This wasn’t what you had imagined it would be like to be an Omega. They’re had been no one in your life to explain it to you, and you were sure the books you’d read must be exaggerating.

Sam stroked your hair, trying to soothe you. “It hurts because you need an Alpha. Your body wants to be knotted. You need an Alpha’s knot.”

You held onto him tightly. “Will that make it stop?” 

Sam whispered, “Yeah, that will make it stop.” He kept running his fingers through your hair, and then he growled. His hand stilled; his body was shaking with the effort to control himself. 

His growling and shaking surprised you, and you jumped. “Sam, what is it? What’s wrong?”

He doubled his efforts to steady himself and stopped his shaking. “My body needs you too.” His voice was much more gruff than it had been before. 

You raised your hand to sink your fingers into his hair, just as his were buried  in yours. “Make it stop, Sam. Make it stop for both of us.”

While he was taking off your clothes, it didn’t occur to you once to feel self conscious about your lack of a flat stomach, the fullness of your thighs, or any of the other parts of your body you considered to be an imperfection. He kissed each and every one of them, while telling you how perfect you were. Your Alpha made you feel beautiful. 

The touch of his hands was so gentle, even while you could feel the heat radiating off his skin. When his lips first touched yours, it was like when the match meet the candle wick, and the flame sparks to life. Sam kissed you for a long time, causing you to produce more slick, getting you ready for him. 

When at last he broke the kiss, you looked into those eyes with the ability to change color; you saw into him, found that deep place where no one but his Omega would ever be allowed to go. “Were we meant to be together, Sam?” 

He brushed his knuckles across your cheek. “Yeah, that’s how it works.” His eyes held yours, “I’ve been waiting for you so long.” The smell of leather was stronger now. It signaled the depth of the lust he was feeling, mixed with the more tender emotions.

You put your hand over his where it was still resting against your face. “It’s okay, Sam. I’m ready. Take me. Make me yours.”

Sam put his hands on the inside of your thighs and opened your legs. His eyes never left yours as he entered you slowly. The stretch pushed you to the limits of what you could take, and you knew it was nothing compared to what was to come when he gave you his knot. 

He moved inside you with a gentle rhythm that heightened your passion and your need for him. When you started to roll your hips in time with the movements he was making, Sam reached between your bodies and started to rub your clit. He gave you exactly what you needed, and an intense orgasm came crashing through you. 

While your body was still in the spasms of its release, Sam’s knot began to swell. “Yes, Alpha, yes. Please.”

Sam took you in his arms and rolled you to your side to face him while his knot continued to swell. He covered your face with soft kisses. “Are you okay?”

You clung to him, still afraid you might somehow lose him even though his body was firmly attached to yours. “Yes. This is what I’ve always wanted. You. I wanted you. I just couldn’t find you.” Tears started to slide down your cheeks. Everything about this night was overwhelming. 

Sam wiped away your tears, kissed your temple, and whispered in your ear, “Shh. i’m here. I’ve got you now, my sweet Omega.”

You buried your face in his neck. The smell of the leather was receding now, blending back in with the mahogany and champagne. “Are you sure I’m your Omega, Sam? I mean I know I must not look like the other Omegas you’ve been with.”

He held you closer to him. “Yes, I’m sure.” You felt a fresh wave of his seed pumping into your womb. Sam put his fingers under your chin and tilted your face up to look at him. “You are more beautiful than any woman I’ve ever seen.”

You smiled, and a different kind of tears filled your eyes. This time they didn’t fall. You felt secure. You felt wanted, and you felt claimed even though he hadn’t yet put his mark on you. He would though. You knew it. Sam would claim you, mark you, and you would be proud for everyone to see it. 

Sam brushed his thumb over your chin just below your lip. “What are you thinking, my Omega?”

You nodded just enough to kiss his thumb that was beneath your lips. “I’m thinking you were worth the wait.”

Everything: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @onethirstyunicorn @peridottea91 @logical-princey @emilyshurley @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @atc74 @ledzeppelinsbonzo @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661 @tumbler-tidbits @67-chevy-baby @fandom-princess-forevermore @terrarium-jpeg @emoryhemsworth @crashdevlin @heycasbutt @jules-1999 @mrsdeannafuckingwinchester @cosicas-cuquis @sammyimpala-67 @queenoftheunderdark @dean-winchesters-bacon @mrs-meghan-winchester @timelordy-fangirl2 @sweetness47 @hobby27 @awesomesusiebstuff @kickingitwithkirk @sandlee44 @supernaturalgrandma @lonewolf471 @dawnie1988 @volleyballer519 @outcastedangel @kdfrqqg @lizette50 @sorenmarie87 @winchesterxfamilybusiness 

Sam/Jared: @girl-next-door-writes @stunudo @feelmyroarrrr @idabbleincrazy @evansrogerskitten @focusonspn @autumninavonlea @spnxbsessed @durinsbride @deansyahtzee @waywardnerd67 @fullmooner 

[beauvibaby]

I still love you – j.benn

a/n: Uh I totally didn’t proof read this sorry

• what happens when you find out your pregnant with Jamie’s baby after you’ve already broken up •

word count: 7.4K

You stared down at the test, feeling the nausea rise up your throat once again, your mind jumping back to a little over a month ago.

“We can’t do this, Jamie.” You sighed, staring at him from your spot on the opposite end of his living room, it was a mutual decision, it wasn’t going to be made with hard feelings, maybe had you both been less worried about what could happen, you would’ve been able to put in the effort–it’s not to say that you didn’t like him. You really truly did, a lot too. But it just wasn’t possible, both of you agreed. “I know.” He shrugged, both of you hiding the pain of this decision. “Doesn’t mean we can’t have one last good night.” He smirked at you, deflecting his emotions. And he was right, you did have one last good night.

Maybe too good.

In the heat of the moment, you’re guessing you both forgot about the condom, or you didn’t and there was a hole in it. No matter what happened, this was the result and you were having a hard time trying to figure out what to do. The positive results staring back at you, a feeling of happiness came over you–but at the same time, it made you terrified, this isn’t how you imagined you’d find out you were pregnant. Alone, in your apartment, at two am after you realized why you’d been sick for over a week. You sucked in a sharp breath, letting it out slowly, easing your churning stomach, a hand resting on it, subconsciously rubbing it. The thought of a false positive popped into your head, and you were shocked by how saddened you were at the thought, pushing those thoughts aside you forced yourself to go back to bed, mind racing a million miles a minute. Knowing first thing in the morning you’d be calling to schedule a doctors appointment.

The months flew, you didn’t know how to reach Jamie, you’d long ago deleted his number, in a drunken pity party two nights after you broke up, and social media was the only way you thought to try and reach him, but he never even read the message. It was a simple one, you didn’t disclose any information. “Can we talk?” Never seen, never responded too. Nothing. You’d watched the games, it gave you a feeling of closeness, why you longed for it, that you weren’t sure of. You blamed the hormones, wanting to not admit that you were missing Jamie, and maybe that on some level you wanted to be with him all this time, and to share this experience with him.

***

12 weeks.

You shakily held your phone out in front of you, waiting for your parents to answer the FaceTime call, you’d made the decision to keep the baby, even if it meant you were all alone, and it was finally time to tell your parents, a nervous smile on your face when they popped up on your screen. “Hi honey!” Your mom grinned, your dad smiling right beside her, “hi.” You spoke softly, “I have to tell you guys something.” Clearing your throat you sat up a little straighter, your dad eyed you suspiciously, “everything ok?” He questioned, his fatherly intuition tingling as his one and only daughter looked at him nervously. “Well, it depends on how you look at it, but I think it’s pretty good.” You laughed nervously, closing your eyes for a second before blurting out. “I’m pregnant.” Everyone fell silent, you peeked an eye open, seeing your parents staring at you, so still that you began to wonder if they froze on your screen. “Mom, dad?” You cringed, they came to their senses, “a grand baby!” Your mom shrieked, your dad slowly beginning to smile, before the question you were waiting for happened. “Who’s the dad?” Your father asked.

Your face fell for a moment, “Jamie.” You whispered, they knew who he was, they knew you dated, but they also knew you had broken up a while back. They put two and two together and assumed that you’d kept this information private for a while. “Oh, honey, does he know?” Your mom asked, shuffling in her seat, your dad looking blankly at you, unsure of how to be reacting, he was happy of course, a grandchild is something he’s always dreamed of, but he was angry at Jamie already, without even knowing why he wasn’t there. “I haven’t told him.” You admitted sheepishly, listening to them both go into a rant.

***

20 weeks.

You laid on the table, a gasp falling from your lips as you felt the baby kick against your stomach, the ultrasound tech looking at you with a smile, “you felt that?” She was in the middle of an ultrasound, she could see the baby moving, but you’d never felt them before. “Yes, oh my god.” You whispered, a grin coming over your face, she laughed softly, continuing the scan, “do you want to know the gender?” She asked, having her own grin on her face, you looked over at her, you had your friends around here with you, but you didn’t want to do a whole gender reveal party. So you nodded, “yes please.” You held your breath as she clicked a few times before turning the screen towards you, “it’s a girl.” She whispered, watching as you let out a gasp, this whole time you’d thought it was a boy. A feeling you had, but you were wrong apparently. “A girl.” You smiled, the rest of your appointment going smoothly, your baby girl having no health issues so far.

***

You were now 32 weeks pregnant, exactly two months away from having your baby girl. To say you were nervous was an understatement, you’d been working extra to save up, the nursery almost being finished, something you were immensely proud of yourself for tackling the project on your own.

The local shopping center has been a recent stop of yours, always thinking of something else you needed to pick up for the baby, who’s name you still hadn’t been able to decide. You tried to contact Jamie again, and again, but you became discouraged after four failed attempts, and the next thing you knew, you were nearly through your whole pregnancy, and the hockey season was over, Jamie would be going back to Canada to be with his family, at least, that’s what you thought. You huffed as you tried to get the baby sized tub into your already full trunk, not noticing the cart was rolling away until you turned to grab the next item– the last item, only a package of crib sheets, and the cart was already easily ten feet away from you. A small shriek fell from your lips as you started speed walking for it, seeing the way it was heading straight for an over price convertible, something you couldn’t pay to fix. “Oh, no, no!” You spoke to yourself, unable to run with your ever growing bump. “I’ll get it!” A guy went jogging passed you, grabbing it just before it could hit the car, you stopped in your spot, even from the back you could recognize him. Your jaw fell, you looked to the ground as he turned, pushing the cart back towards you. “Thank you.” You whispered, awkwardly looking up, Jamie was already staring at you. He went stiff, eyes stuck on yours, like always you could read them so well, he was shocked, maybe even a bit happy before he did a double take over your body.

“Y/N.” His eyes jumped between yours and the bump you were fully showing off in the snug fit maternity dress. “Jamie.” You whispered, taking a step towards the cart, seeing his knuckles turn white from his grip on the handle. “You’re–is it mine?” He asked bluntly, taking a step away from you, watching as you pushed the cart into the grass, taking the crib sheets and hugging them to your body. “First of all, you should know, I tried to contact you through social media, I didn’t have your number anymore.” You rushed, the guilt eating you alive. “Online?” He scoffed, “you tried to tell me you’re pregnant through Instagram?” His words were harsh, but his eyes blank. “Jamie, I’m sorry, I swear I wanted to tell you. I deleted your number after we broke up, I was upset, and I didn’t know what else to do.” You pleaded, staring him down, he looked to the sheets in your arms, studying them, it was easy to tell it was a girl, the pack being full of pink and floral fabric. He bit his lip, looking passed you, you glanced back, turning your body slightly, face falling when you saw Tyler, who you could tell instantly recognized you.

His eyes darted to your stomach, his eyes going as wide as they could as he turned back around and walked away to give you two space. “A girl?” Jamie finally spoke, stepping closer to you, a sniffled yes fell from your lips as you looked away. “I’m so sorry, I promise I wanted you to know. I didn’t want to take this or her away from you.” You explained to him, surprised when he reached out to wipe a tear from your cheek before retracting his hand. “I know, you wouldn’t do that.” He still sounded angry, which you couldn’t blame him for, but you were grateful he wasn’t completely losing it. This is an odd situation, there isn’t a guide book to how to handle this kind of information. “I have so many questions.” He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, a smile graced your face. “Well, if you want to give me your number again, we can catch up sometime.” You joked, hoping it wasn’t too soon, your feelings for Jamie rushing right back, like you hadn’t just been apart for seven months. “Are you free now?” He blurted, turning pink afterwards. “I was just going to go home and put my swollen ankles up on the couch, you’re more than welcome to come.” You spoke sheepishly, biting the corner of your lip. “I-Uh-are you sure? I don’t want to impose.” He stuttered over his words, you couldn’t help but let out a giggle, which turned into a string of laughter as Jamie stared at you curiously, “Jamie, you could never impose on me. You deserve all the time you want, it’s my fault you missed so much of this already.” You spoke through laughter that you were fighting to not turn into tears. “Let’s not blame anyone, ok?” He spoke softly, shoving his hands into his pockets, “um, I just have to drop Tyler off at his place, and then I can come by?” He raised an eyebrow, rocking on his feet as you let a tear slip. “Yeah,” you cleared your throat, “yeah that works.” You turned walking straight for your car, you were climbing into the drivers seat when Jamie jogged over to you, “gate code still the same?” He asked looking down at you.

Your breathing hitched the memory coming back instantly.

“A one month anniversary gift?” Jamie teased, shaking the small box you gave him, the only thing being inside was a note with the code to your apartment complex gate on it. You were tired of having to buzz him in all the time, and you trusted him more than you normally would trust a guy. He was different, he was kind, he cared. “Shut up and open it.” You rolled your eyes, going back into the kitchen suddenly embarrassed as he opened the box, he looked back up with a grin only to find you gone, he jumped to his feet and wandered into the kitchen, arms wrapping around your waist from behind. “That was cute, babe, and I’ll definitely use it.” He kissed your cheek, feeling you smile under his lips, “good.”

“Yeah, still the same.” With that you parted ways, you nervously driving home to clean whatever mess you left in the apartment, and little did you know Jamie was sitting in Tyler’s driveway, trying to process this information, while Tyler was insisting this was fate.

“It’s not fate!” Jamie snapped, glaring at his friend who sat in the passenger seat with a smug smile on his face, “ok, so what do you call seeing your ex who’s been trying to get a hold of you for months because she’s pregnant with your child? In a target parking lot no less!” Tyler rambled, giving Jamie a stern look, “exactly, it’s fate. Case closed. I know it’s a lot to handle, but there was always something special between you two.” He added, waiting for Jamie to speak. “We dated for barely two months, Ty.” Jamie grumbled, leaning back in his seat, rubbing a hand over his face. “So? That’s plenty of time to know if you’re in love!” Tyler defended, laughing when Jamie went pink. “You are a terrible liar.” He snickered, calming himself down as Jamie looked over at him with wide, emotion filled eyes. “It’s a girl.” Jamie whispered, scratching at his beard, Tyler went silent, a happy smile pulling across his face. “Shit, man, you better hope she looks like Y/N.” Tyler teased, using it to hide his own emotions as well, “get out.” Jamie laughed, wiping at his eyes. “I gotta go over there before she thinks I’m bailing, I have so much to learn.” He mumbled, Tyler giving him a quick pat on the shoulder, “you got this, it’ll be fine.”

You paced in your living room, swollen feet and all, suddenly terrified that Jamie wasn’t going to show, how could you even think he would have? For all you know he could be thinking it isn’t even his, that you said it was for money. You rubbed your hands over your bump, your daughter extra active as your anxiety picked up, you took a deep breath, jumping when the door was knocked on. You gave the room one last look over before going to let him in, “hey.” You smiled softly, the familiarity of opening your door to see him staring back at you came rushing back and you had to ignore the ache in your chest from it. “Hey.” He repeated, looking beyond you and into the cozy apartment of yours that always loved to be in. “Oh, come in, sorry.” You awkwardly shuffled, shutting the door once he walked in, he didn’t know where to go so he kind of just stood in limbo, you rushed over to the fridge, pulling the last sonogram photo off of it, which was already aged so well, considering you don’t have anymore ultrasounds scheduled and you couldn’t spare the cash to go to a 3D place. “Here.” You handed it to him, watching as he grabbed it delicately, looking at the black and white photo in awe. He glanced up at you, his eyes scanning around the room, he could see little touches here and there for the baby, the most noticeable one being the car seat and stroller you had in boxes by the kitchen table. It hurt him to see all the things you had to do by yourself, all the things he should be here for, his mind wandered, suddenly wondering if you had a nursery set up for her, deep down he knew you did, because you were you and you were a planner.

“I’m sorry, Jamie. I really am, I feel terrible, please don’t hate me for not telling you.” You rushed your words, his immediate reaction was to step closer to you, “I don’t think I could ever hate you, Y/N. I’ll get over it, I just don’t want to miss anymore.” He assured you, resisting the urge to hug you, not wanting to push your boundaries. You nodded tearfully, “give me your hand.” You whispered, feeling her moving around, he didn’t hesitate to listen, watching as you placed it to the upper left side of your stomach, he furrowed his brows before he felt the kick. You watched the smile pull across his face, “oh my god.” He whispered, scrambling to set the sonogram photo down, placing his other hand there as well. He felt overcome by emotion, he couldn’t explain it, but he had zero doubts of this being his baby, he felt as if he had a bond with her already despite her not even being born yet. You watched him with tears in your eyes, finally getting to see a genuine reaction from him about this, he was happy, it was plain as day across his face. No doubts, nothing but pure happiness and excitement. “Tell me everything. I don’t care how long it takes, please, just make me feel like I’ve been here for all of this.” He sniffled, keeping his eyes on your stomach, where his hands still laid gently, worried if he put anymore pressure he’d hurt you. “We better sit down then.” You joked, finally getting his attention, he mirrored your expression, relief and happiness, with watery eyes. “We better.” He agreed, following you to the couch, where you spent the next two hours exchanging stories, although he didn’t speak much, a combination of processing the information and simply wanting to hear you speak for as long as possible.

After some time, the sun had started to set, Jamie caught you glancing out the window repeatedly, “I can leave now.” He assured you, but made no effort to move, if he was being honest he really didn’t want to leave, he wanted to be here even if there was nothing he could do to help you. “No, it’s fine.” You brushed him off, an idea popping into your head, “did you want to see her room?” You raised an eyebrow at him, he nodded eagerly rushing to his feet, extending his hands to help you off the couch. You gave him a grateful smile once you were up on your feet, “come on.” You led him down the short hallway to what was once your guest bedroom, you stepped aside and let him push the door open, “it’s not completely finished yet, I want to put her name up above the crib, but I haven’t decided on one yet.” You explained, leaning against the wall as he stood in the middle of the room, looking around at all the furniture, and the bags of baby clothes you've yet to wash. “You haven’t picked a name?” He looked kind of hopeful, “no, but I figured now you could help me? If you’re going to be involved.” You trailed off, needing the confirmation from him. “Of course I’m going to be involved, Y/N. That’s my daughter.” He pointed to your stomach, earning a soft chuckle from you. Jamie saw the tears pooling in your eyes, so he lightened the subject slightly, “you put all of this together by yourself?” He questioned, running his hands over the white crib railing, looking down at the small mattress, imaging what it will look like once the baby is here. “Well, my brother came down a couple weeks ago to help me put it all together, my bump got in the way too much.” You giggled, thinking back to the way you and your brother were so frustrated with each other while trying to put the furniture together.

“Oh–your family, they probably hate me.” He whispered, more for himself than you, you couldn’t help yourself, you took large steps over to him, standing toe to toe with him, chuckling as your bump grazed his own stomach. “They don’t hate you, actually, they’re more mad at me for not finding a way to tell you.” You whispered, Jamie nodded, still feeling guilty for causing any disturbance in your family–wait, family. He still has to tell his family. “I have to tell my family, my parents, oh my god.” He suddenly sat down in the glider in the corner, head in his hands, you frowned at the sight, your reserves breaking, when you broke up with Jamie you loved him, you’d never told him, not wanting to make it harder for him. But now, looking at him like this, and thinking of how in two short months your daughter would be here, and seeing him with her, it all came rushing back. “Jamie.” You whispered, making his head snap up, “it’s going to be ok.” You assured him, he could see you wanted to say more, “and?” He prompted, remembering how you’d fiddle with your fingers when you were nervous, just like you were doing right now. You shook your head, letting the tears fall, Jamie was up in an instant, standing right in front of you again, but this time he did hug you. He pulled you as snug against his chest as he could, ducking his head down to inhale the scent of your shampoo, “you can tell me anything, you know.” He reminded you, shocked with how easy it felt to be back with you. He loved you then and he was certain he did now, things would have to go slowly though, it was difficult to jump right back into how things were after all this time.

“I loved you, Jamie, I still love you. If you feel the same, that’s great, and if you don’t, just tell me now so I can deal with it before the baby comes.” You rambled into his chest, but he caught all he needed to hear, “I still love you too.” He whispered, laughing when you shot back, looking at him skeptically. “I mean, things would have to go slow, right? But I want to be here, whether that’s as your boyfriend too, or just as a co-parent, I’m going to be here.” He assured you, a confident smile on his face, you put your arms up around his neck, taking in the expression on his face–the emotions in his eyes. “Kinda slow.” You shrugged, eyes flickering down to his lips, “kinda slow.” He smirked, mimicking your actions. “You know, I’m a really hormonal pregnant woman, so you should just kiss me already.” You whispered, admiring the way his eyes crinkled shut in laughter, his lips met yours, and it felt like you never stopped kissing him, like the last seven months apart didn’t happen. You felt safe and loved, and you could only pray that things continued this easily.

When you finally separated you both stared at each other, “hi.” He mumbled, tracing your cheekbones with his thumbs, a blissful smile on his face. You started to laugh, uncontrollably, and he couldn’t help but join in. Not even sure why he was laughing but, you were contagious. “This is insane, Jamie.” You finally spoke, breathing hard from laughing, “are we really doing this? Us?” You questioned, suddenly very serious. “I’m all in, Y/N.” He assured you, “when’s your next appointment?” He questioned, tucking the hair behind your ears. “Tomorrow actually.” You grinned, “Wanna come?” You teased, already knowing his answer. “Can I?” He murmured, he hated that he felt like he was overstepping, even though you just offered it to him. “Of course, I want you to come, to all of them.” You spoke calmly, the easiness of being with him helped you ease your nerves, it just felt right.

***

“Bed rest?!” You and Jamie exclaimed at the same time, you had zero complications during your pregnancy so far, and now suddenly your blood pressure is up, and your doctor is worried about you going into early labor. She nodded, “yes, I think that’s the best option, for now you can monitor it at home, but if anything changes I recommend you come back in so we can reevaluate.” Your mind was going a thousand miles a minute, how could you do bed rest on your own, you lived in an apartment with an elevator that didn’t always work. Jamie could tell he was thinking the same thing as you, worry etched into his features. “Is this serious?” He asked the doctor, “it could be, but if it’s managed well, she can go full term.” She assured him, “I’ll give you two a moment, whenever you’re ready you can head to the front and check out.” She smiled, disappearing just like that. You covered your face with your hands, shaking with soft cries. “Jamie, what am I supposed to do?” You groaned into your hands, he stood in front of you and gently pulled them away from your face. “What are we supposed to do.” He corrected you softly, wiping under your eyes, “I have an idea. A crazy one, but an idea nonetheless.” He spoke, staring right into your eyes, “go on.” You encouraged, mind still reeling, unable to think properly.

“Come stay with me.” He deadpanned, you went blank, “like, move in?” You trailed off, looking away before you could see the smile on his face. “Yeah.” He nodded, “you can stay in a different room, whatever makes you comfortable, but I wouldn’t feel good leaving you in your apartment all day by yourself. Besides, when the baby comes it would just be easier, everything would be in one place. We wouldn’t have to worry about going back and forth between houses, it just makes sense.” He rambled, watching you hesitantly, unsure of how you were reacting as your face stayed blank. “I’m scared, Jamie, I’m really fucking scared, about something happening to her, or to us.” You whimpered, hiding your face in his chest, he shushed you and ran his hands up and down your back. He had all those same fears, but he wouldn’t tell you that, you needed encouragement, and he was here to give it. “It’s going to be ok, she's going to be a healthy happy baby, and we’re going to be ok. I promise, I want nothing more than to make this work.” He cupped your cheeks as he spoke, making sure you absorbed every word, he placed a kiss to your forehead before pecking your lips shortly. “Now, we’re still standing in the doctors office and I don’t think that’s very productive of me when I need to be bringing you to your new home.” He joked, finally getting a smile out of you. There was a lot to figure out, a lot to do, but you pushed the worries aside for now and just allowed Jamie to take you to his house–your now shared home.

***

You were now only a month away from having your baby, things with Jamie had been good, not great, but you attributed that to your own self worries. He had been nothing but loving and attentive, but you couldn’t help but worry that once the baby came, he wouldn’t really care about you anymore. It sounded terrible, but you couldn’t help how you felt. Your blood pressure had gone back to normal, and your doctor told you that you didn’t have to stay on full bed rest, but she definitely wanted you to take it easy. Which is why you were sitting in the glider in what was becoming the baby’s nursery, watching Tyler and Jamie snap at each other while trying to figure out how to put the crib back together. You decided not to renew your apartment, it was something you and Jamie spoke long and hard about, but it felt like the right decision, why spend all that money on rent when you wouldn’t even be going there. So now, you’d sold whatever furniture you didn’t need, and brought all of the baby stuff here, just in time for her arrival coming up. You looked around the room, Jamie had asked you what you pictured for the walls, knowing in the apartment you couldn’t paint, so you told him, not thinking much of it, you didn’t think was going to spend the whole weekend painting the room and putting up the floral wallpaper. But he did, because he loves you and wanted you to have the nursery you dreamed of for your daughter. He couldn’t lie and say that he didn’t love it, because he did. The light colors, and the furniture together, it felt cozy but beautiful at the same time. It was more than he could have dreamed of for his baby. Tyler was thrilled to have you back in the group, he tended to you just as much as Jamie did, insisting he could do things, or help out. It was sweet really, and you were thankful that everyone important in Jamie’s life was so accepting of you. His family included, his mom was thrilled and couldn’t wait to come visit once the baby was born, who’s name still hadn’t been decided on, but that was your next mission.

“We need to pick a name, Jam.” You reminded him, as he huffed, finally getting the crib out together properly, he looked over at you with a smile, “this should be interesting.” Tyler laughed, sitting back against the wall, watching the two of you go back and forth over names, both of you spitting them out left and right only to be shot down by the other.

“Grace?” Jamie spoke, eyebrow raised, “as a middle name.” You countered, he nodded, “I can agree to that.” He leaned back on his arms, waiting for you to give out a first name option. You ran your hands over your even larger bump, “Presley?” You grinned, he cocked his head to the side, chewing on his lip. “Presley Grace Benn.” He spoke, glancing over at Tyler who had a wide grin on his face. You started crying which made the two guys laugh, Jamie slid over to be sitting in front of you, pressing a kiss to your stomach, something he's started doing a lot now. Especially when you started sneaking into his bed in the middle of the night, until you finally agreed to stay in the same room as him, you didn’t like being alone when you knew he was right down the hall. “Presley.” He mumbled, pushing himself up to give you a quick kiss. “Well, come on now, let’s finish Presley’s room, Tyler.” He demanded, laughing at the way his friend shot up, “don’t have to tell me twice.”

***

You tossed and turned, between your mind racing, Presley’s kicking and Jamie’s absence, you couldn’t will yourself to get some rest. You groaned, sitting up in the edge of the bed, trying to find the willpower to go apologize to Jamie, he was sleeping in the guest room, you two having a huge argument just a few hours before. He didn’t want to leave, but you didn’t seem to want to be next to him, and he surely wasn’t going to make you sleep in a different room.

Jamie stared at you across the dining room table, trying to figure out why you were so moody tonight, yes, yes, of course he knows about pregnancy hormones. But this was different, you were quiet, and he could see the worry dancing in your eyes, and that bothered him, he tried to get it out of subtly, but you didn’t budge, you stood your ground, not wanting to admit how you felt aloud. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He finally broke and asked you bluntly, resting his elbows on the table, chin in his hand as he looked at you. He sighed when you shrugged, “nothing.” You lied. “Is everything ok?” He asked, referring to the baby, “does anything hurt?” He questioned, and that broke you. “Oh my god, Jamie! Is it always about the pregnancy? I feel like that's all I am to you now! When she’s born, am I just going to become this woman that lives in your house to take care of your daughter?” You snapped, sliding your chair back aggressively, huffing with your arms crossed over your chest, he stared at you, jaw falling slack as he tried to process what you accused him of out of nowhere. “Y/N–“ “What? Are you going to say that’s not true? It doesn’t feel like it.” You cut him off, standing up from the table, “I love you.” He called as you walked off, which his motive wasn’t to make you feel guilty, but it did. “I love you too!” You shouted, but still slamming the door shut to your master bedroom. Jamie flinching as he cleaned the table off from dinner. He gave you space, coming to check on you an hour or so later, you were in the shower, back towards him so you didn’t see him stand there for a moment, deciding what his next move should be. But when he heard you angrily close the cap to your shampoo, he decided he would give you some more time.

You pushed yourself up off the bed, sniffling as you hobbled down the hall. You were walking passed Presley’s now finished room, glancing at the go bags you had packed and ready for her arrival any day now. 38 weeks, she could come at any time now and you were as ready as ready could be. You were about to continue down the hall when you heard a soft snore come from inside the room, you furrowed your brows and tiptoed into the room, feeling immensely guilty when you saw Jamie asleep in the glider with a parenting book spread open on his chest. You carefully slipped the book from his grasp, setting it on the changing table beside him, he finally looked at ease, you were going to just leave him there to rest, but as you went to walk out of the room, Presley gave a hard kick, as if she was scolding you. “Fine, I’ll get daddy.” You spoke softly down to your bump, something you and Jamie had both begun doing constantly. It dawned on you then, as you turned to look at him, that he hadn’t done anything wrong, he was being nothing but loving towards you and the baby. Yes, he was putting an emphasis on the pregnancy, who wouldn’t? You loved when he would lay his head on your lap watching tv, and talk to your stomach, or how his hands were always rubbing on it, and the way he would always press a kiss to where she was kicking before he would go to sleep.

He was madly in love with you, and you were too in your head to notice.

You pushed his messy hair off his forehead, “Jamie?” You whispered, he nudged further into your hand, still fast asleep, “Jamie.” You spoke again, resting your other hand on his chest, lightly shaking him. He sucked in a breath through his nose as he fluttered his eyes open, “Y/N?” He whispered, blinking to adjust to the light in the room, his voice raspy. “Honey, why don’t you come to bed.” You murmured, placing your hand over his bearded jaw, he met your gaze. “Are you still mad at me?” He quipped, eyes softening as he saw the way yours were bloodshot. “No, I was being an idiot, I shouldn’t have said any of that, it’s not true.” You whispered, he nodded, not moving his head from your hand, “I’m sorry, Jamie.” You leaned down to give him a kiss that he gladly accepted, “I know, baby, don’t cry.” He smiled up at you, “I’m not crying.” You rolled your eyes sheepishly, feeling the few tears fall down your cheeks. “Come on, you’re exhausted.” He stood up with a yawn, hands on your hips as he guided you back to bed. He flicked the lights off in the nursery as he walked, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “You know, if something’s ever bothering you, you can always tell me, and we can figure it out together.” He reminded you softly, smiling when you turned to hug him tightly. “I know, my emotions have been all over the place, I never know what’s actually bothering me or what I think it’s bothering me.” You mumbled into his chest, feeling the laughter run through him at your muffled statement. “It’s ok, sweetheart, let’s just go to bed.” He nudged you gently towards the bed, smiling when you laid facing him, you sighed in content, your belly resting comfortably on your body pillow, your eyes shutting instantly as you felt Jamie playing with your hair. “Goodnight, baby.” He mumbled, kissing your forehead before settling into his side of the bed, staying up until you were fast asleep, just admiring you, and in awe of how soon it wouldn’t just be the two of you. He was terrified and excited all at the same time.

You woke up what felt like minutes later but was actually hours, to a shooting pain in your back. You groaned, hand shooting to rub the spot, the pain easing a few moments later. You brushed it off as sleeping in an odd position, you flipped to your other side, letting your eyes shut again, but after a few minutes the pain started easing back before it had you nearly in tears. You scrambled to grab your phone, checking the time and sighing when it read two am. “Now, Presley?” You rubbed your stomach, nervously biting your lip. You decided to time the next one and see if it truly was contractions or just an odd coincidence. Jamie was still out beside you, laying flat on his stomach with half his face hidden in the pillow. You sat up against the headboard, rubbing your hands over your face as you watched the time tick away, five minutes passed and just as you thought maybe you were losing your mind, the pain came back, moving more towards your stomach. “Jamie!” You whacked his back with a pillow, sending him flying up, “what? What’s wrong?” He turned the lamp on, eyes wide as he looked at you. You didn’t speak as you had your eyes squeezed shut, a death grip on the sheets below you as the pain pushed through you. “Fuck.” You whimpered, slowly releasing the sheets as it passed. “Are you having contractions? Is it baby time?” He panicked, jumping off the bed, already throwing his pajama pants off and replacing them with real clothes. “Yeah.” You whispered, slowly sliding off the bed, you stood on your two feet shakily, Jamie coming over to grab your hands. “My water hasn’t broken, why hasn’t it broken?” You rushed, suddenly panicking over everything. Jamie shushed you, allowing you to have a death grip on his hands as he slowly walked towards the door with you. “Well, I think it just did.” He informed you as you froze, feeling the wetness go through your pants. You sighed in relief but then it set in that this was really happening, “I need to change my pants, and we need to go.” You were counting down the minutes, wanting to get changed into new pants before another contraction started. Jamie quickly helped you step out of the ones you’d been wearing before grabbing a pair of his sweatpants and shimmying them up your legs. He ran and grabbed the bags and you two were on your way.

The drive to the hospital was made in record speed, Jamie carefully but quickly getting you there, worrying every time you had a contraction and they were quickly getting closer together.

“Seven?!” You shrieked when the doctor popped up from checking how dilated you were, “you’re just speeding right along sweetie! She’ll be here before you know it!” She smiled up at your panicked face, you’d already gotten an epidural, which was thankfully helping tremendously with the pain. “Be back in an hour to check you.” She clapped her hands and was on her way, you and Jamie sitting in the hospital room, the light pouring in from outside, you’d been four centimeters when you got here, and that was only a few hours ago, the sun starting to shine as the early morning came. “She’s already impatient like me.” You sighed, leaning back against your pillows, Jamie chuckled from the seat beside you, “you say that as if you’re not ready to meet her.” He teased you, lacing your fingers together, anxiously bouncing his leg. “You’re making me nervous.” You spoke bluntly, he stopped moving his leg, “sorry.” He mumbled, knowing you weren’t meaning to be so quick with him. “I love you.” You reminded him, he chuckled, “I know, babe, I love you too.” He pressed a quick kiss to your pouted lips before urging you to get some type of rest now that the pain wasn’t so bad.

“You did this to me!” You snapped at Jamie after you gave your fifth excruciating push, suddenly now your daughter decided to be stubborn. “I know.” Is all he could say, pushing your sweaty hair back, one hand under your knee to help hold your leg back. “You’re doing so good, baby.” He encouraged you, smiling when you looked at him with worried eyes between pushes. “I can see her head, Y/N! Just a few more big pushes!” Your doctor encouraged, you let out a strangled cry before nodding, knowing you had no choice but to do it. Jamie cringed every time you pushed and your face started turning bright red, “come on! One more big push!” She encouraged you again, Jamie allowing you to grip his arm tightly as you crunched forward, giving all your strength for this last push. “Shoulders, arms and here we go, a baby girl.” Your doctor spoke, holding her up to put her on your chest as the nurse threw a towel down, using it to wipe her off as she began to cry. “Oh my god.” You cried, unable to pull your eyes off of her, Jamie was staring in awe at her, and you too. “Dad, want to cut the cord?” The doctor shook you both from your thoughts, he nodded hesitantly, she directed to him where to cut it, and he cringed as he did so, but happy that he did it. In a heartbeat he was back up by your head, watching as they took Presley off to be weighed and given a quick check up. “You did it, you did amazing.” He whispered against your forehead, not caring that you were covered in a layer of sweat. “She’s so beautiful, Jamie.” You looked up at him, feeling your heart swell with pride, “that’s all you mama.” He grinned, ducking down to kiss your lips. “All you.” He sighed, “so proud of you.”

***

Waking up to Jamie speaking to Presley was a normal occurrence, and you never got tired of it, you smiled from your place on your pillow as he held the two week old to his chest, she was looking up at him with wide eyes, Jamie had his eyes focused on her as he mumbled sweet words. Telling her how much he loved her and how beautiful she was. “Good morning.” You whispered, watching his eyes look over to you. “Morning.” He smiled, watching you sit up and scoot closer to him. “How long have you been up with her?” You ran your thumb over her chubby little cheek, smiling as she tried to look back at you. He handed her over to you, “not long, ten minutes maybe.” He shrugged, smiling as she instantly gripped your finger. “Hi baby girl.” You cooed, nuzzling your nose against hers, loving the way she would scrunch her face up when you did that. “Hey.” Jamie nudged you lightly, reaching up to grab your chin, turning you to face him, “get out of your head, yeah?” He hummed, kissing you softly, “I still love you.” He reminded you with a smile, just like you two had said only three short months ago, but it felt like forever. “I still love you too.” You responded, melting into his side as he put an arm around your shoulders, you both relishing in the quiet room before Presley would start to get fussy. That’s how most mornings went over the summer, when the season started it was hard, but you both figured it out, and you could only wish you had done that the year before, you wouldn’t have missed out on so much time with him.

But he was here now, all three of you were happy and healthy, living your lives as a family, and that’s all that really matters.

taglist: @vinceduhn​ @kempe​ @jackiesquinn​ @josty​ @kiedhara​ @literarycharleton​

[darling-i-read-it]

Ko No Mono

2x11 

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.9k 

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, dead bodies,, will being hot as fuck

Author’s Note: I’ve made my bed now i have to lie in it. I still haven’t actually seen your guys reaction to the last episode at the tiem of writing this so hopefully it blowed over okay lol. I love Will and Hannibal dudes. 

I used some direct quotes from the script so some things may seem familiar 

Official Episode Summary :Jack and his team discover the truth of Freddie Lounds' disappearance, Will tells Alana to arm herself; Mason suspects his sister intends to usurp him and Hannibal shows Will how much Abigail reminded him of his sister.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

Tag List (is always open!) : @llperfectsymmetryll​ @ericacactus​ @vlightning95​

(not my gif) 

You woke up slowly this time, a nightmare less sleep. Unfortunately you felt Will beside you and you could hear how loud he was breathing. You turned around and grabbed his arm to ground him. You waited for a minute as he caught his breath and then he laid back down on the pillow before wrapping his arms around you, his head resting on your chest. 

You pet his hair and wordlessly, as though in tune, the two of you fell back asleep. Whatever dream he had was not worth talking about right now. 

-

You sat beside Will. Will sat directly across from Hannibal as he dished up your food. It was an interesting one this time around, confusing. Everything Hannibal made confused you but you were used to it at this point. 

“Among gourmands, the ortolan bunting is considered a rare-but-debauched delicacy. A rite of passage, if you will,” aHannibal said, sneaking a smile to both of you. “Preparation calls for the songbird to be drowned alive in Armagnac. It is then roasted and consumed whole in a single mouthful.” 

“Ortolans are endangered,” Will stated.

“He’s right,” you said. 

“Who amongst us is not?” Hannibal asked. You shook your head but you weren’t about to deny a Hannibal made dish. 

“I have been gorged, drowned, plucked and roasted. Not yet,” Will said simply. 

“Traditionally, during this meal, we’re to place shrouds over our heads, hiding our faces from God,” Hannibal said. “I don't hide from God.” You smiled a bit at his audacity. You picked up the bird and so did Will.

“Bones and all?” Will questioned. 

“Bones and all.” 

You and Will both ate it all in one bite. Your eyes locked with Hannibals as you did so. You swallowed after a moment. 

“After my first ortolan, I was euphoric. A stimulating reminder of our power over life and death,” Hannibal said. 

“I was euphoric when I killed Freddie Lounds,” you told him. Your mind wandered. Your hands around her neck. Will beside you.

“Did your heart race when you did it?” 

“No,” Will said. 

“Not a bit,” you retorted. 

Hannibal smiled at the two of you. You were growing in his mind, evolving. This was his design and he was liking the way it was threaded. 

-

You stood in the morgue, the charred body of Freddie Lounds in front of you. 

“Freddie Lounds ultimate failure was her inability to keep herself out of her own stories,” Jack said. 

You smiled. 

“Freddie had the longing need to be noticed,” you stated. 

“She was noticed,” Will finished. 

-

You were fuming. Absolutely fuming. You were in the room with Hannibal, Will and Margot Verger. She sat in the chair across from Hannibal but you and Will were standing. You didn’t even have the heart to sit on the desk like you usually did you were so pissed.

“There’s no baby. Isn’t even an embryo yet. I’ve got hormones in my pee. That’s the extent of it. But here I am, feeling maternal,” Margot said. 

“We’re discussing a small group of cells. Barely life, but immediately seen to be life-changing,” Hannibal said in his physiatrist voice. You had your arms crossed and despite the fact you were pissed, your face was in a careful poker face.

“I feel like everything that was done to me can almost be undone,” Margot said. 

“Through children we can disrupt our own sense of the past. We can protect them in ways we weren’t,” Hannibal inquired. You were pissed at him too. You weren’t sure why but you were sure it would come up eventually. 

“Life eventually bounces back Margot.”

“I could be good to a child. I’ll go to parenting classes,” she said like she was pleased with herself. 

“You’ve conspired with your unborn child to liberate yourself and you’ve made Will and Y/N an unknowing accomplice,” Hannibal said. 

“I got what I wanted from Will, but I didn’t understand what I was taking until the strip turned blue. Y/N was just a happy accident. I thought you were single, honestly and I’m not proud of myself,” she explained. You raised your finger to her and Will grabbed it before it slapped her in the face. 

“Nor should you be. You said-” Will started. 

“I lied,” she finished. 

You felt like you were mourning something that you figured was yours. You stared at Margot and saw the mother of your boyfriend's baby. You had one night of slippage and here was the result. Margot Verger. The Vergers. 

“You’re just as bad as your brother,” you hissed. “And did you know?” you asked Hannibal. 

“I was aware of Margot’s goal of having a child. I was not aware of the means to achieve it.”

“What do you want from us?” Will asked. Still using ‘us’. It was after he said that he realized this could ruin any relationship he had with you. He didn’t even know if you wanted kids but someone else having his child was surely a dent. He looked over at you and you couldn’t even look at him. In fact, the only person you could look at was Hannibal. 

“Little or nothing or as much as you’d like to give,” Margot said simply. You shook your head and left the room to your desk. 

You sat there and shut the door behind you. You knew you shouldn’t be mad at Will. You did it together and it was a joint decision, granted it was not really talked about. A spur of the moment, completely calculated thing. You stared at your computer, the blank black screen that reflected you back at you. 

Margot walked out and you stood up, refusing to show any emotion. 

“I hope you’re pleased,” you said simply. Will left the office but you didn’t look at him. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. You wanted to strangle the life out of her but instead you just walked past her and Hannibal to the office, shutting the door behind you. You walked over to the chair you promised yourself you would never sit at and you sat in it. Hannibal was still sitting at his chair. 

You stared at each other.

“You swear to me you didn’t know,” you muttered.

“I did not know,” he said. “I had no idea you were bisexual.” You shook your head but you had bigger problems.

“It was a spur of the moment thing. Will and I had just…” you trailed off. “I was in the wrong headspace for her to have conniving plans.” You stared at Hannibal and stood up. “I don’t like those chairs,” you whispered. You walked over and finally sat on the desk. Hannibal got up. 

“Has Will left?” 

“He’s presumably waiting for me in the car.” You looked up at Will and tears pricked your eyes. “It’s not his fault,” you promised. Hannibal leaned against the desk beside you. 

“But you believe that this will change things.” You whipped the few stray tears.

“Shouldn’t it? I mean come on, wouldn’t it be weird if I was having your child but you were with Alana?” Hannibal laughed dryly at the comparison. You took a deep breath. “I don't even know if I want kids but...that was supposed to be my kid,” you whispered. “Will and I were gonna have that family, the family that has now started between him and Margot Verger.” 

Hannibal wiped your tears away with his thumb. He was now standing directly in front of you, looking down at you as you sat. 

“Will loves you,” he promised. “And cares about you more than I would care about Alana in your analogy.” You nodded and he hugged you. You pressed your head against his chest. 

“I just have to talk to him,” you whispered. He nodded. 

“But your emotions are valid. Don’t forget that.” Hannibal pet your hair but he felt your emotions hitting a hard chord. 

This wasn’t good. 

-

The car ride home was interesting. Silence. Uncomfortable silence. That wasn’t something that you and Will were quite accustomed to. You got into the house and immediately locked yourself in the bathroom to catch your breath. You stared in the mirror and imagined how Will must be feeling. 

Excitement to be a father? Going through things you were supposed to feel together one day? 

You opened the door and Will sat on the bed. You walked over and sat beside him, looking at your hands. 

“What does this mean?” you asked.

“If we have any more threesomes I should probably wear protection.” 

“Good advice overall however I don't’ see many more threesomes in our future,” you whispered. He wasn’t sure what you meant by that. Did you mean just in general or that you wouldn’t be together at all?

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I should be asking you how you’re feeling, father to be,” you said, voice breaking. You hid your emotions as best you could. 

“Y/N…”

“It was meant to be us,” you whispered. “The two of us. Not you and Margot Verger.” He nodded and looked over at you. “Do you want me here now that you’re having a kid with her?” The dreaded question.

“Of course I want you here,” he said quickly. “I’ll always want you here.” You looked over at him. “Do you want to be here?” You nodded even quicker. 

“I do.” 

He hugged you tightly and you wrapped your legs around his waist as you sat on the bed. You buried your face in his shoulder. The battle wasn’t over but at least you knew you had each other.

“After Abigail,” he whispered. “I dream about her. I dream about teaching her to fish,” he told you. You nodded. You felt maternal to Abigail as well.

“And Hannibal....” He nodded, pulling away from you a bit. “Robbed that from us.” 

“Yeah. He did.” 

-

Will grabbed your arm. He was sweating, it was even showing on your pajama shirt. There was a knock on the door that had woken him up from a nightmare.

“You okay?” you whispered. He nodded. 

“Who is that?”

“If it’s Margot Verger again I’ll drown her in the sink.” Will got up and walked to the door as you grabbed him a robe. You could hear from the back room that it was Alana.

“I guess I’m trying to convince myself of something. Or maybe I’m trying to convince you. Or maybe I don't know why I’m here,” she said. You walked up to the door. 

“I know why. You’re worried I killed Freddie Lounds.” 

“Did you?” Alana asked. She looked at you and you looked at her. Your friendship had unfortunately dissolved over time. She seemed so pensive now.

“What do you think?” Will asked. 

“I think that’s the wrong answer to tell somebody who is already wondering what you’re capable of,” Alana said. Will turned to you. 

“Can you make us some coffee?” 

“Two or three cups?”

“Two,” he said bluntly. You nodded and walked into the house but you could still be here. 

“I know you’re lying to me. You’ve slipped into some kind of skin and I think it fits you a little too well,” she said. 

“I told everyone Hannibal was a killer and no one believed me. Just like no one would believe you if you said I was a killer,” Will said and you smiled as you started to make coffee. 

“I'm afraid, Will. But not of you. I'm afraid for you. I don't think Hannibal is good for you. I think your relationship is destructive.” 

“Hannibal's good enough for you.” You almost clapped at that but you contend to pretend you weren’t listening. 

“You should be afraid. You’re right to be afraid.” 

-

Alana Bloom stood back at Freddie’s funeral. You were with Will but you wanted to talk to her first so you told him to wait back. You walked up to her and she let out a small sigh at your presence. 

“I’m here to mourn Freddie Lounds. Can’t imagine it’s why you’re here,” she muttered. 

“I’m here in support of my boyfriend. His psychiatrist recommended he come.” Alana looked over at you.

“They aren’t who you think they are. You may think that you know Hannibal Lecter but you don’t. I don’t think anyone does,” she said. Almost like a warning.

“Says the girl sleeping with him,” you whispered teasingly. “I know Hannibal better than you know him Alana. And I know Will better than that. You may think you’re right about every single thing Alana but I can assure you, you are not.” You whispered. She let out a huff. She can’t imagine herself being wrong. 

She walked away. 

-

You sat in the room with Will and Hannibal. You sat on the desk while they sat in the chairs, reminiscent of old times. 

“I’ve been so preoccupied with taking a life, I’m having trouble wrapping my head around making one,” he muttered.

“You and Y/N have never discussed it?” You shrugged.

“Not often. We’ve always had other things on our minds,” you admitted. “Just that if it happened it was in the future.” 

“When men become fathers, they undergo biochemical changes that affect the way they think,” Hannibal explained. 

“You said the same thing happens when men become killers,” Will inquired. 

“Fatherhood is not always a nurturing role. Fathers can be killers. In protecting a child, things trapped inside a man for years fly free, ready to explode in pain. And dangerous behavior. What sort of father would you be?” Hannibal questioned.

“He’d be a good father,” you said quietly, answering for him. 

“How quickly we form attachments to something that does not yet exist,'' Hannibal whispered. You and Hannibal shared a look.

-

You stood beside Will at a crime scene. This one was not yours. This was Hannibals. Freddie Lounds was put into a religious figure. 

“What connection do Freddie Lounds and Randall Tier have?” Jack asked. 

“The Grahams. Randall Tier was their suspect and Hannibal’s patient,” Alana said. She looked to be having a tough time. “Freddie was investigating his murder when she died.

“Freddie was investigating a lot of things when she died,” Will said. 

“This is a psychopath who has incubated fantasies of killing is translating them into action. He’s building himself up. Or somebody’s building him up,” Alana said. You and Will shared a look. 

Jack Crawford would be showing Alana Bloom Freddie tonight. Freddies body, alive, completely and utterly alive. You and Will did not kill her. Alana was breaking and Jack would show her that you and Will were not the murderers she thought you were. 

Technically.

“This is a courtship,” Alana whispered.

-

When you got word about Margot you were silent. You went with Will to the hospital silently. 

You stared at Margot Verger, without a child now, silently. 

Hannibal approached you and while Will immediately left you strayed for a moment. You looked over at him and you shared a look.

“Thank you,” you whispered. 

“I did nothing but suggest simple actions.” You nodded and grabbed his hand as you turned away. You held it for a moment. Then you followed Will.

-

Mason Verger watched his pigs. Will walked up to him and held him over the edge. You looked at him, waiting from behind. You had taken out the guard, per request. You didn’t want the child and you were relieved it was gone. That being said, you would likely back Will in anything he wanted to do. 

“You think it was Margot’s idea to have an heir? Think it was your idea to take it from her? My idea to come here and kill you? What you, your sister and I all have in common is the same psychiatrist,” Will said. He brought Mason back to the ground and you raised a gun to his head. 

“Aren’t you his secretary?” Mason questioned. “Oh you and baby daddy!” He paused. “Margot messed with the wrong throuple.” 

“If Hannibal had his dithers, you’d be wrapped around a bullet,” you said. You put the gun down. 

“He’s the one you should be feeding to your pigs,” Will finished.

2x12

[hurricanery]

handmade

A/N: Hi! I felt like writing something slightly cute and wanted to get some requests done. This is inspired by this prompt, this prompt, & this prompt and a few others basically requesting Amelink/Scout first night home from the hospital/Amelia being super hormonal. This ended up being still a lil angsty whoops but thank you for sending prompts! And pt. 6 of If You Went Away will most likely be posted next <3

_______

hold me tight and I’ll sink in

i’m absorbed in your thinking

_______

“....I’m sorry, huh?” Amelia’s voice comes out in a stunned question. She glances up at Carina DeLuca from where she’s settled in her increasingly uncomfortable bed on the maternity floor.

“I said you can go home, Dr. Shepherd,” Carina repeats the words she’d spoken just prior, smiling optimistically. “You guys can go home today.”

Link smiles wide from where he stands near Amelia’s bedside. He rubs Amelia’s shoulder encouragingly, looking down at her with an expression of pure excitement. Amelia’s face does not reflect an equal sentiment.

“You’re sure….?” She turns her attention back to Carina, eyebrows pulling together as she tries to process this information.

“Yes, Amelia,” Carina laughs, implementing the first name basis in an attempt to comfort the new mother in front of her. “You’re healthy. The baby is healthy….” She smiles down at Scout, who sleeps soundly in the bassinet in the corner of the room. “It’s time to bring him home.”

Amelia’s frown deepens as she watches Carina leave the room. It had been two full days since Scout came into the world. Two full days of being surrounded by the people she loves. Two full days of constant support and visitors. And now it was back to reality. Her new reality.

She knows. In the back of her mind. That there’s no point in staying here in this hospital room. She’s a doctor. She’s prepared. Or she should be. And there’s nothing else left to do.

She bites the corner of her thumbnail anxiously as she re-visits her mental checklist. She pretty much has a handle on the feeding process. Link has basically mastered swaddling. And they were finally able to settle on a name. Which, as it turns out, was the toughest part. But they got there. And now there was nothing else left to do. The checklist is complete. Scout Derek Shepherd Lincoln is ready to go home.

Link clears his throat, raising his eyebrows at Amelia, who drops her nervous nail-biting to return his gaze. She smiles, despite herself, allowing Link’s calm demeanor to anchor her.

_______

Link is prepared, he thinks. For most things in life. Part of that he credits to not being an over-thinker. His preparedness is never a result of heavy planning, but more so an outlook that allows him to go with the flow. To take things as they come.

He’d only stressed momentarily before Amelia went into labor.

Will Amelia have an easy delivery?

Will we make it to the hospital on time?

Will the baby be scared of me?

That was the extent of his worry. So, what he’d failed to consider, was the aftermath. What to expect in the days and weeks after the birth.

“Ugh, god, stop,” Amelia whines. “Really, I got it.”

Link chuckles, bewildered, as he watches Amelia climb the staircase in Meredith’s house. He drops his hands from where he’d attempted resting them on her shoulders, in an effort to guide her up the stairs.

“You’re sore, Amelia. I was just trying to help.”

Link shrugs to himself defensively before following shortly after her.

“I don’t need help.” She mutters as they cross the threshold back into her bedroom.

They both peek into Scout’s bassinet next to the bed, and momentary relief floods them both at the sight of their newborn still sound asleep.

Link’s gaze remains glued to Scout adoringly, until he hears Amelia’s exasperated sigh from somewhere behind him.

He turns around in time to watch her lower herself onto the bed. She sits halfway up, leaning against the headboard and closes her eyes tightly. The grimace that twists across her face makes Link feel helpless.

“You okay?” He tries, slowly approaching the bed to sit down on the edge, near her feet.

“Ugh,” she groans her response, not even opening her eyes when she feels Link’s weight on the bed.

Link rests a hand on her shin comfortingly. And Amelia groans again, a crease forming between her brows.

“What can I do?”

“Nothing,” she breathes out impatiently.

And Link sighs.

“I can’t believe I forgot this part….” She continues, opening her eyes to look at Link. “There’s not really a handbook for what to expect after, ya know?” She laughs a little bit, apologetically. And Link nods understandingly. “I mean the last time…” Her voice cracks a bit on the sentence. “The last time….I couldn’t really separate the pregnancy from….from what else was going on with me….health-wise….” She trails off again as reluctant tears spring to her eyes. “I just kinda forgot about all this.” She laughs bitterly as she gestures to her own body between them.

“Well, let me help you-”

“What can you do, Link?! My uterus is quite literally shrinking back to its normal size. It’s just cramps.” She cuts him off angrily and Link recoils from her mood swing. She folds her arms across her chest and then immediately gasps at the tenderness there. “And, dammit, my chest is sore. That part….I didn’t have to deal with the last time.”

Link nods slowly. Breastfeeding was a new experience this time around.

“Sorry….” She mumbles, much quieter than before, glancing at the newborn that sleeps just a couple of feet away. “For lashing out. It’s not me, it’s the hormones.”

“Eh,” Link shrugs. “I’m used to it at this point.”

Amelia scowls. But it quickly softens into a slight smile as she leans back again and closes her eyes.

“You’ve known me as hormonal and pregnant more than you’ve known me as….not hormonal and not pregnant. I promise you, I’m not crazy.” She whispers.

“Sure, Amelia.” Link chuckles.

Her eyes shoot open. “Hey!” She mutters playfully. “I would try to be on my good side right now.”

“You’re right, you’re right.” He shakes his head amusedly, pulling her feet into his lap. He massages her feet and ankles and watches her relax into the sensation, while he thinks of his next plan. “How about a bath? That might feel good….?”

She blinks, thinking about it. She purses her lips, not wanting to admit to Link that he’s come up with something useful.

Link laughs at her expression.

“I’m going to start a bath, then.”

And Amelia pouts at the loss of contact when he shifts her feet away from him, moving towards the bathroom.

_______

“You want me to join you, or just stay in here, or-”

“No,” Amelia says sternly as she relaxes back into the tub, resting her eyes. She’s taken aback by the impatient tone of her own voice, though, and she opens her tired eyes apologetically. “I mean, no thank you. I’m okay.” She smiles. “And thank you for this.”

Link isn’t hurt by her dismissal. He smiles back at her. “That’s okay….I’m just going to go watch Scout sleep.”

Amelia huffs out a laugh at this.

“Okay,” she murmurs. “You do that.”

Link watches as Amelia unwinds completely. She sighs in bliss as she leans her head back and it makes Link’s heart swell. It makes him feel less useless to her. He’s still smiling to himself as he turns on his heels, walking back to the room to do exactly what he’d mentioned. Watch his newborn sleep.

_______

“Hey,” Amelia breathes as she rounds the corner back into the bedroom, wrapped up in a fluffy white towel. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to stay in there so long.”

“That’s okay,” Link responds, shifting his gaze away from the bassinet and turning around to meet Amelia’s eyes. “You earned it.”

Amelia smiles gratefully, moving forward to sit next to Link on the edge of the bed. She looks down warmly at the sleeping newborn in front of them. “You were serious when you said you were just gonna watch him sleep, huh?” She mutters quietly.

“Mhm,” Link’s eyes are glued back to Scout. “He hasn’t even stirred.”

“Don’t say that,” Amelia warns. “Let’s not jinx it. Can you imagine us actually sleeping through the night?” She grins up at Link. And Link shakes his head amusedly.

“But we should probably sleep, while he sleeps….” Link offers.

“Right….” Amelia mumbles. “But, wow. It is really hard to look away from him, isn’t it?”

Link laughs. And suddenly stands. He reaches a hand out for Amelia to take.

“Come on, bedtime.” Link pulls Amelia into a standing position, and they both take one last look at Scout.

“Can you believe we….made him?” Amelia’s voice is full of wonder. “We made that tiny little human.”

“Well, you did most of the work,” Link grins. Then turns to her with a more serious expression. “You still….do most of the work.”

Amelia’s heart swells. And she smiles, biting her lip, trying to shrug off the sentiment of Link’s words.

“And you should sleep in tomorrow,” Link adds, guiding them around to the other side of the bed. “Do you want to pump at all tonight….? So that you can sleep in a little bit when he wakes up hungry?”

Amelia groans, rolling her eyes. “That’s not a bad idea.”

“Here,” Link approaches the dresser, grabbing her sleep shorts and one of his oversized t-shirts. “Put on something comfy first.”

“Mhm,” Amelia nods in agreement, taking the clothes from him. But then she gasps suddenly, a sharp cramp twisting through her pelvis.

“What’s wrong?!”

“Just cramps,” she breathes, eyes shut tight.

“Okay, here. Sooner you get changed, sooner you can get back into bed.” Link takes the t-shirt back from her, encouraging her to drop the towel and lift her arms. And when she does so, Link guides the shirt over her body. He then crouches down, tapping Amelia on each foot in a way that signifies for her to step into her shorts. Link slowly rises as he pulls them up her legs, and the second the forgiving waistband is resting at her hips, Amelia collapses back down into the bed.

Link sighs. Not wanting to disturb her. “I’m….going to go get the breast pump.”

Amelia groans.

“Sorry,” Link whispers apologetically as he leaves the room.

_______

Amelia yawns desperately as she finishes pumping. She lays back against the headboard again, her head rolling to the side to look at Link, smiling lazily.

“This must be so attractive to you, sorry,” she mumbles sarcastically. “But I think I’m done,” she adds as she sits up.

Link frowns as Amelia settles herself from the task.

“Amelia….” He watches as she starts putting everything away. “Don’t say that.”

She just laughs dismissively in response.

“You’re literally providing nutrients to our kid, I mean….” He trails off, shaking his head in disbelief, trying to gather his next words. “I’ve never found you more attractive.”

Amelia rolls her eyes. Suddenly sick of the overly sentimental direction this conversation was heading.

“I was joking,” she replies shortly, her tone impatient once again. “Let’s just go to bed.”

“Alright,” Link agrees as Amelia quickly gets under the covers. He glances across, to the freshly pumped breast milk on her bedside table. He gets up and crosses the room. “I’m going to go put this in the fridge, I’ll be back.”

Her lack of response still doesn’t quite phase him.

When Link returns, a few minutes later, Amelia is seemingly sound asleep. He settles under the covers on his side of the bed and lays flat on his back.

He turns his head toward Amelia, who sleeps on her side, with her back to him. She makes no indication that she’s aware of his presence. Link sighs, turning over to face the opposite way. He shuts his eyes tightly, desperate to get some sleep before the inevitable. Before Scout wakes up and wreaks havoc on their sleep schedules.

Link begins to drift off quickly, only barely interrupted when he feels Amelia shift around in the bed. He successfully ignores the movement, falling easily back into the verge of slumber.

Until 10 minutes later. When he feels movement again.

Amelia shifts around in the bed, and Link can hear her sigh heavily. Her breath sounds closer to him than before. But again, he tries not to let it pull him from sleep. He grasps onto his exhaustion, willing himself to fall asleep.

But then 5 minutes later, he’s shaken from sleep again. Because he can feel the dip in the mattress as Amelia adjusts herself once more. Now impossibly close to him. Her breath against the back of his neck is the biggest indication of the lack of space between them.

Before he can even think about resisting, or think about grappling back towards sleep, he feels cold feet rest against his bare shins under the covers.

He gasps fully awake at the abrupt sensation. And turns over in bed.

“Amelia….” he groans sleepily, blinking as his eyes adjust. He can just make out her face in the dimly lit room. He���s immediately shocked by just how close she is to him.

Her eyes stare back at him widely.

“If you want to cuddle,” he smirks knowingly, “all you have to do is say so.”

“I don’t,” she deflects, brushing off the accusation.

Link’s smirk grows. Like he’s won some battle. And resent reflects all over Amelia’s face.

“Okay, then,” he announces matter-of-factly, beginning to turn away from her again.

But then her face falls. And Link pauses, scanning her eyes. And then he decides.

“Okay,” he mutters again. “Well I’m going to cuddle you anyway. Because it’s what I want.” He reaches for her, wrapping his arms around her until she adjusts so that her back aligns with his front.

Amelia sighs at the contact, relaxing into his embrace completely. Link’s hands move to rest over her lower abdomen and instead of retreating, the comfort actually brings tears to Amelia’s eyes. Link presses gently, applying soothing pressure, and Amelia gasps gratefully.

“Does that feel okay?” He murmurs.

Amelia quickly nods, letting out a quiet “Mhm,” instead of revealing the emotion that would likely be evident in her voice if she went the more verbal route.

But then she sighs again. Because even she can hear the level of desperation in her ‘Mhm.’

“It’s just the hormones,” she defends herself out loud, a revealing tightness to her voice.

“Sure, Amelia.” He chuckles, reaching forward to place a quick kiss to the top of her head. He relaxes back into their now shared position, finally drifting off to sleep.

//

[ifmywishescametrue]

pancakes and stuffed bears

2k of fluffy alpha bucky/omega tony (with mentions of alpha steve / stuckony) for my @stb-bingo square: o5 - trip to ikea

also on ao3

Bucky wakes up slowly, groggily realizing that Tony is whispering his name. A finger pokes his cheek, and he slaps it away with his eyes still shut. He rolls onto his stomach and buries his face in his pillow, mumbling, “No, go away. It’s too early.”

Tony whines his name this time, dragging it out to be almost ten seconds long, as he shifts to straddle his lower back. He can’t lean down very far with his swollen stomach in the way, but he can still use his hands to prod at him. Fingernails drag lightly down the back of his neck, making the flesh rise in bumps. 

“It’s almost ten,” Tony says. “Get up.”

“Go bother Steve.”

“Steve isn’t here. You’re the only one I have to bother, and your daughter wants the Swedish pancakes from Ikea.”

Bucky turns his head to the side, cracking one eye open to frown up at his mate. “Where did Steve go?”

“Unimportant. The pancakes are the real issue here.”

Bucky laughs, “Pancakes are only for people who tell me where Steve went.”

Tony rolls off of Bucky so he can sit up. “I was half-asleep when he said it, so all I know is that there was a problem with something at the gallery that might have to do with the opening on Friday or it might have nothing to do with it, but it was either Sam that called him or it was Sharon.”

Bucky gets up from bed and looks over at the omega, who’s already dressed in a stretched out t-shirt that used to be his and the maternity pants that he begrudgingly wears even though he hates them. Tony’s hand is covering the bump, rubbing slow circles into it. 

He smiles at the sight even as he says, “That’s not all that helpful.” 

“I’m honestly not that sure it had anything to do with the gallery now that I’m really thinking about it. He might have said he was going there later and somewhere else now, but there was an S name mentioned somewhere in there for sure, though.”

“So all we really know is that he’s somewhere that isn’t here,” Bucky summarizes, opening the closet to find some clothes to get dressed. 

Tony sighs, “Yeah, he should really know better than to tell me things by now.” 

Bucky pulls out the first things his hands touch, ending up with a plain white t-shirt and jeans that might actually belong to Steve instead of him. When they moved houses, they didn’t do a very good job labeling the boxes, and as a result Steve and Bucky discovered that their closets might as well be interchangeable. Coupled with how often Tony steals their things these days, he has no idea what’s his and what’s someone else’s anymore. 

He gets dressed and tosses his dirty pajamas in the hamper, then tells Tony. “Just give me ten minutes to finish getting ready and we can go.”

“Really thought I would have to persuade you more on these pancakes,” Tony comments, following him into the bathroom. 

“After the ice cream incident last week?” Bucky raises his eyebrows in the mirror as he reaches for his toothbrush. “I’m not questioning any of your pregnancy cravings after that, baby doll. I think you traumatized poor Steve.”

Tony rolls his eyes, a small smile on his face as he leans back against the counter. “He’s recovered from it by now, and it’s not my fault that the baby wanted rocky road and he brought home moose tracks.”

“The baby is awfully demanding lately,” Bucky teases, squeezing out toothpaste onto the brush. “Wonder where she gets it from.”

“Probably you.”

Bucky hums through his mouthful of toothpaste, and he lifts his free hand to rest on Tony’s stomach. He can’t help but touch it every chance he gets, hoping to feel their daughter kick beneath his palm. She usually responds to the sound of his or Steve’s voice, and they’ve both been known to spend long periods talking to her just to feel her move. Tony alternates between loving it and hating it, depending on how many times she’s already kicked him in the bladder or ribs that day. 

He spits out the toothpaste and rinses his mouth, then finishes off the rest of his morning routine with as much speed as possible. 

Before they leave he grabs his wallet and phone, checking the device for any notifications from overnight. There’s a text from Steve waiting for him, and he reads it while pulling on his shoes. 

“Steve is at the zoo with Sam because one of their chaperones for the field trip dropped out at the last minute,” he tells Tony as they walk downstairs to the front door. He turns his screen so Tony can see the picture Steve sent of him with Sam and Natasha’s son in the butterfly house. There’s a blue butterfly on Steve’s shoulder, and Alex’s eyes are crossed as he tries to look up at the orange one on his forehead.

Tony frowns, “Wow, that doesn’t sound familiar at all. I don’t think he said that.”

Bucky reads directly from the second text in the chain, “‘And when you talk to Tony, tell him that I told him all of this earlier, and he said ‘that’s nice’ then fell back asleep.’”

“Well then.”

Bucky laughs as he grabs his car keys from the hook on the wall. He sends Steve a reply while walking down the front steps, telling him to have fun and send more pictures. Almost immediately he receives another one, and he shows it to Tony once they get in the car. 

“Look at this one, babe.”

Alex is on Sam’s shoulders, eating from an ice cream cone that’s dripping onto Sam’s head. Sam doesn’t look amused by it, but Steve’s grin shows that he’s loving the situation. The caption says, “That’s going to be us soon,” with four smiley face emojis. 

Tony doesn’t say anything, and when Bucky glances away from the picture to look at him, his eyes are wet and his lip is quivering. 

“Baby, are you crying?”

“No, I’m fine,” Tony says unconvincingly, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand and completely failing to keep the tears from falling. 

Bucky snaps a picture of it and sends it to Steve. 

“Fuck you, asshole,” Tony whines, the tears flowing freely now while Bucky tries his best not to laugh at him. Pregnancy hormones have him crying at the drop of a hat these days when he rarely cried before. Bucky can only remember seeing it once, on the night that the three of them bonded, and even then it was hardly more than watery eyes. “And tell your stupid husband to go fuck himself, too.”

“My stupid husband?” Bucky scoffs, backing out of the driveway and onto the street. “I believe he is our stupid husband.”

“He’s yours when he’s making me cry with his dumb sappy face.”

Bucky reaches over the center console to take Tony’s hand, running his thumb across his knuckles soothingly. “I’ll be sure to tell him that you think his face is dumb.”

“And to go fuck himself.”

Bucky bites his lip to keep the laugh in, nodding, “And to go fuck himself. Of course, honey. I’ll let him know.”

Tony wipes at his cheeks again, using his sleeve to soak up the last of them, and he sniffles a few times to clear his nose. 

Bucky almost asks him if he’s alright, but then he remembers the last time he did that after an unexpected bout of crying and it started all over again. So instead, he lifts their joined hands and kisses the back of Tony’s to make him smile. 

They drive in comfortable silence, and Tony seems completely fine again by the time they reach the Ikea. His mood goes even higher the closer they get to the food court, and Bucky grins at the satisfaction on Tony’s face when he finally gets to have his pancakes. His moan at the first bite is almost obscene, and his eyes flutter shut in bliss. 

“Should I leave you two alone?” Bucky jokes, sipping on his orange juice. “I feel like I’m intruding on a private moment.”

“Remember that thing Steve was doing to you last night with his tongue? I guarantee this is better than that,” Tony says, and Bucky almost chokes on his juice. He glances around them, but no one seems to overheard the comment.

“I don’t know, you weren’t on the receiving end of that, babe.”

“And you’ve never had a pregnancy craving satisfied before. Morgan and I are very happy over here.”

Bucky smiles at the use of the name they recently decided on. Between the three of them, it felt like they might never find one they were all happy with. Every time two of them agreed, the third would inevitably hate it and exercise their veto power, which might have been the worst idea in history. Morgan was the first that no one hated, and when Steve put his hands on Tony’s baby bump and said the name, her enthusiastic kick ended any further debate. 

The topic of the last name has been avoided completely so far, but Steve and Bucky already privately agreed that they want her to have Tony’s alone, no matter which one of them ends up being the biological father. 

“We should look at stuff for the nursery while we’re here,” Bucky suggests. 

So far, the room only has the staple pieces of furniture: a crib, changing table, and an antique rocking chair for the corner. The walls are a pale shade of gray, and Steve is working on painting pastel flowers onto them. 

Tony nods, swallowing his large mouthful before saying, “She needs one of those giant stuffed bear things.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, “Did she tell you this herself?”

Tony laughs and flicks a piece of fruit at him, which Bucky manages to catch and pop into his mouth. “Yes, she did. She’ll be very upset if we go home without one.”

“Well, we can’t have that, now can we?”

Tony finishes the rest of his food, and Bucky takes care of clearing the trash and plates. Grabbing his hand, Tony drags him through the store until they reach the kids section, where he proceeds to practically coo at every cute thing. Bucky can’t blame him for it, though, because he’s feeling a little overwhelmed watching his pregnant omega hold a rattle shaped like a giraffe for their daughter. 

Tony finds the giant bear he was talking about, and Bucky agrees immediately that it’s a necessity, even without Tony turning his wide, pleading eyes on him. 

He picks it up, saying, “Steve is going to kill us when he sees that our house looks like an Ikea exploded in it.”

“He’ll kill you,” Tony corrects, smiling as he strokes his hand over the swell of his stomach. “I’m protected by Morgan.”

“Damn, you’re right,” Bucky says, but it doesn’t stop him from picking up the nightlight that’s shaped like a flower. “She needs this, too.”

Tony grins, “Absolutely she does.”

Bucky’s arms get piled full of baby items. Blankets, bibs, a bath towel with a hood, toys, and stuffed animals that he struggles to see over top of on the way to the register. Tony guides him with one hand on his elbow so he doesn’t trip over anything. 

They end up filling three large blue bags, and Bucky carries all of them to the car, rejecting Tony’s offer of taking one of them. He loads them into the trunk, turning to see Tony’s smiling face when he closes it, and he can’t resist pulling him into a kiss right there in a parking lot. 

When they break apart, he leans down and presses a kiss to the top of the bump. “Baby girl, you are going to be so incredibly spoiled,” he sighs. 

“She’ll be happy,” Tony says, and his eyes are wet again. 

Bucky nods, kissing the omega’s cheek and repeating, “She’ll be happy.”

[tumbleweed-palmer]

Unexpected: Jimmy Palmer X OC Chapter Four. Epilogue.

Previous Chapter HERE

I won't lie I am considering writing another series with Jimmy and this OC, maybe covering more of their story.

Jimmy couldn’t help but to feel completely inadequate and unprepared as he stared down at the multitude of screws and parts set out on the floor in front of him. He’d been at this for an hour now and he was no closer to assembling this stupid thing than he’d been before he started. This was ridiculous. The only progress he’d made thus far was pulling all the parts and screws out of the box.

He didn’t understand how he could reassemble an entire skeleton without getting a bone out of place no matter how tiny or shattered the bone was, but he somehow couldn’t manage to put together a crib even with instructions.

Why’d they have to pick this particular crib to put on their baby shower registry? Oh yeah, because it matched the rest of the furniture they’d chosen and Jimmy had liked the reviews he’d seen for this crib. It seemed like the safest option from what he’d seen. No one had mentioned what a pain it was to assemble though.

This entire situation was pathetic and it made him feel pathetic. How was he expected to manage a newborn when he couldn’t even assemble a crib? If he couldn’t assemble a crib then what happened when his kid wanted him to assemble a dollhouse or a bicycle? What if his kid wanted him to assemble a swing set one day and he continued to be so inadequate? What if his failure to put this crib together set a precedent of failure when it came to fatherly duties?

He took a deep breath pulling his brain back from the thoughts. He knew this was just anxiety talking. He was fine; this was all fine. This was just a bad case of expectant father jitters.

He took another deep breath as he picked up two pieces that seemed like they should go together. He stared down at the graph he was given with the complicated instructions that had come in the box with all these parts.

He let out a groan as it hit him that these pieces couldn’t possibly go together, the screw failing to fit through any possible openings.

He dropped the pieces to the floor in front of him, another pained groan escaping him.

Her soft voice pulled him from his misery for a moment. “Jimmy, sweetheart. Give it a break. You don’t have to finish it right this second.”

“I’m fine, I’ve got this.” Jimmy insisted, proving just how stubborn he could really be when he wanted to.

Olivia managed to speak, not letting his insistence that he was fine deter her. “Just stop for a moment and give your brain a rest. You can pick it back up after dinner. We’ll have plenty of help to get this all put together by then.”

He let out a soft sigh remembering the dinner plans they’d made tonight. It had been Abby’s suggestion that they all meet up at Jimmy and Olivia’s new home for a bite to eat and provide some assistance in assembling the nursery for Baby Palmer. It was a sweet gesture and she’d managed to rope almost everyone into the plan.

Jimmy was touched by the kind gesture but he couldn’t help but to feel like Tony would have plenty to say about his inability to assemble this crib. He imagined “Uncle Tony” as Tony insisted on calling himself as often as possible would be pretty judgemental of his sister’s boyfriend’s inability to do one simple task.

Though Tony had been trying his best to adjust his attitude and accept Jimmy and Olivia’s relationship, Jimmy couldn’t help but to feel that Tony simply barely tolerated his presence in Olivia’s life. He couldn’t help but to feel that Tony was always watching him, always waiting for him to screw everything up. Jimmy felt the pressure to overperform and somehow win Tony’s approval not just as a friend and coworker, but as a brother-in-law.

Olivia spoke again, knowing exactly what to say to pull Jimmy from his task and whatever worry was building up in his brain. “Come on, just a little break. Come cuddle me. I’m your pregnant girlfriend and you aren’t allowed to tell me no.”

Jimmy felt the smile cross his lips, unable to ignore her requests.

He stood up turning to face her, his smile only growing.

People said that pregnant women glowed and Jimmy had to agree with this assessment every single time he looked at Olivia Dinozzo. He especially had to agree at a moment like this as she sat back in the rocking chair Dr. Mallard had gifted them for the nursery.

The rocking chair had been in the Mallard family for generations and Dr. Mallard had insisted that Jimmy and Olivia take it as they would find much more use out of it than he did. Jimmy would be lying if he tried to claim he didn’t get a little weepy when Dr. Mallard had presented them with the rocking chair the month before at Olivia’s baby shower.

Olivia was now in her third trimester, due any day now, and her belly reflected that. It was almost a comical sight as petite as she was with such a massive pregnant belly.

Jimmy could admit he did feel a bit guilty when she complained about how incredibly uncomfortable she’d been throughout this last trimester. Her current state was half his fault after all. Her belly seemed to get in the way of most things she wanted to do like sleeping on her stomach for example. Her center of balance was totally thrown off and her feet and back ached.

She’d taken to wearing sundresses and being barefoot as often as possible despite the cooler weather as summer faded and fall set in. The loose dresses felt far more comfortable than anything else she could be wearing, she'd insisted. She had bought several loose maternity sundresses relying on them for a comfortable wardrobe. She’d learned that when she had to go outdoors or leave the house she traded being barefoot for a pair of ugg boots and shoved on a cotton hoodie over her sundresses in an attempt to keep warm. She pointed out that no one could tell her she looked ridiculous given her pregnancy. At night she had taken to sleeping in just a maternity nightgown without undergarments because she felt that everything was far too constricting at the moment.

Today she’d chosen to wear a deep green cotton maxi dress and Jimmy thought that she looked amazing.Then again he’d been pretty insistent that she looked amazing throughout her entire pregnancy even when she was dealing with the world’s worst morning sickness in her first trimester.

Her long hair was piled up on top of her head and she wasn’t wearing a drop of makeup at the moment. She’d stated that one positive of pregnancy was all the hormones gave her great looking hair though she’d pointed out she’d gained a bit of curl to her hair. She was dreading the horror stories she’d heard about how her hair would most likely begin to fall out after she gave birth. Needless to say she might invest in a little haircut after giving birth.

Jimmy eagerly made his way over to her, not hesitating to drop down to his knees in front of her, scooting close to her. His lips pressed to her stomach, his voice soft and sweet. “How are my favorite people doing?”

“Good, your Jellybean isn't kicking me in the bladder for once.” Olivia pointed out, causing Jimmy to chuckle. His heart swooned at the goofy nickname for their baby. It was a result of Jimmy’s dumbfounded statement at their first sonogram appointment. The words had left him as they’d stared at the image on the screen in front of them he feeling so overwhelmed and as though he was brimming with love and awe “It kind of looks like a Jellybean.” The nickname Jellybean had sort of stuck after that.

He spoke the words leaving him without hesitation. “That’s probably because she’s turned so that she can move headfirst through the birth canal, or at least that’s what the last sonogram showed. So I imagine she can’t reach to kick your bladder anymore.”

Olivia scrunched her nose at this comment fast to reply. “Can we please not refer to it as my birth canal.”

Jimmy gave her an apologetic smile resting his head against her belly, his arms encircling her waist. Olivia placed a hand on the back of his head her stroking his hair, her fingers delicately massaging his scalp knowing that this was what he needed the most right now.

As her due date drew closer and closer Jimmy’s anxiety rose more and more. The poor guy was a nervous wreck. His constant fretting over her was kind of sweet and she knew he did it because he loved her. She worried though that he might have a nervous breakdown before her water even had a chance to break.

She knew that the stress of the past nine months had only increased Jimmy’s anxiety. He’d been working harder than ever trying to make sure Dr. Mallard would be able to function without Jimmy’s assistance after Jimmy took a few weeks off for the due date. Jimmy’s mother had been making several trips out to visit and attempt to help prepare for the baby. As much as Olivia loved and got along with Jimmy’s mother, Eunice Palmer could be a bit overenthusiastic about trying to help out. Then last month they’d had the chaos of a baby shower courtesy of Abby Scuito. It had gone well and they’d enjoyed time with loved ones but it had been exhausting in the best way possible. They had a feeling that thanks to all the gifts, Baby Palmer wouldn’t lack a thing.

Adding to their stress they both had been stretching themselves thin trying to settle into their new home and get everything unpacked before her due date. The process of buying the house had been stressful enough on its own but scrambling to move into it had been a stressful process as well especially considering Olivia couldn’t be much help with the physical aspect of moving given her pregnancy and Jimmy’s overprotective tendencies anytime she dared to even think about lifting a moving box.

Their new home was simple, located in a quiet Virginian suburb. It was in a decent neighborhood, though it was a little older. In fact, Olivia was pretty sure Jimmy and she were probably the youngest couple in the neighborhood judging by the neighbors they’d met thus far who all seemed to be old enough to be their grandparents. The commute to both of their jobs wouldn’t be too awful at least. The house was actually closer to NCIS headquarters than either of their apartments had been, so Jimmy’s commute wouldn’t be a nightmare. The little three bedroom house was two storeys and built with faded white siding. The master bath had a soaking tub which had definitely been something Olivia was looking for in a home given her and Jimmy’s love of a good bath together. Jimmy had liked the yard, insisting their kid would need a nice backyard to play in at some point. They’d easily fallen in love with the house and had been thankful that they’d been able to buy it. Olivia knew that her inheritance had at least worked in their favor when it came to the financial aspect of being able to afford the home. It was clear that they’d have no problem paying for the mortgage.

Olivia’s father of course had plenty to say about the house; very little of it had been positive. He’d been quick to hint that there was nothing glamorous about the house. It was a far cry from the large estate Olivia had been raised in. Their new house’s walls had needed a fresh coat of paint and the downstairs bathroom was a little outdated. The backyard wasn’t pretty but a good mowing had at least solved that issue. She was sure her father would prefer that they get an expensive luxury apartment or buy a much grander home. Olivia could afford it after all. He had made it obvious that he didn’t quite understand why she would she ever want to live in a house like this. Never mind the fact that there was nothing wrong with the house at all.

Olivia didn’t care what Dinozzo Senior had to say about Jimmy’s and her choices though. This was their home and they loved it. She was looking forward to raising a family with Jimmy Palmer in this house. She had no doubts that they’d have a beautiful life raising their family in this home.

She finally spoke after a long moment of silence. “You know you don’t have to be in such a big rush to get that crib assembled. She’ll be sleeping in that cradle in our bedroom for a little while at least. So, it’s not like the crib has to be ready right this instant.”

Jimmy let out a heavy sigh as the words left him, his cheek remaining rested against her belly. “I know, I just know we’ll be sleep-deprived once she’s here though. I just don’t want it to get shoved to the backburner and for us to be too exhausted to actually get everything together. I don’t want us to feel rushed when she’s ready to leave the bassinet in our room and move to the nursery.”

He spoke again not afraid to admit the core cause of his hastiness to get the nursery set up. “I just want everything to be perfect for her when we bring her home. She deserves to have everything be as close to perfect as possible.”

Olivia spoke knowing the right thing to say in response. “We’re going to be bringing our daughter home. That’s perfect enough all on it’s own.”

He couldn’t stop the dopey smile from crossing his lips or the feeling of adoration from blooming in his heart at her statement. A daughter; he was having a daughter.

He knew he would have been overjoyed no matter what they had. There was something that seemed so wonderful about having a daughter though. He couldn’t help but to think it would be a tiny version of Olivia. The idea sounded perfect to him.

Olivia spoke again making him smile all the more. “You know if you work yourself up this much each time you assemble a crib we might be in trouble since I’m going to need to count on you to do this a few more times in the future.”

He felt the words leave him unable to stop himself. “I thought you told me you’d murder me if I ever got you pregnant ever again.”

She snorted at this fast to respond. “You should know by now that my threats mean nothing. I’m too spineless for murder. I’d miss you too much if I killed you, besides I doubt I’d get away with it. I was only saying that during the first trimester when I puked 24/7. It’s hard not to want more kids with you when I saw how adorable you were opening that package of baby stuff your mom brought us.”

He felt the smile cross his lips again knowing just what package she was talking about. His mother had brought the box with her during a visit a few months ago. The box contained a few Palmer family heirlooms that had been saved especially for this moment, including a soft yellow quilt that had rested in Jimmy’s nursery when he was a baby and a few books he’d loved as a child. There had also been something new, a little lilac dress that his grandmother had sewn especially for Baby Palmer. The one thing that had made him really weepy though had been a bit silly. It was a stuffed animal that had been his when he was a child. His mother had carefully cleaned it making sure it was suitable for her granddaughter. It was a worn and well loved blue stuffed bunny.

He could remember the bunny well. He’d been overly attached to it as a child. His childhood had at times been turbulent, at least when it came to his father’s violence and tendency to take that violence out on Jimmy’s mother. Though Jimmy’s mother had always tried to protect Jimmy and his sister from their father, Jimmy still had witnessed more than enough. Jimmy had found himself often clinging to that bunny in those moments, the toy making him feel safe. Even after his father had died when he was ten and he’d decided he was far too old for a stuffed animal the bunny had still meant something to him. It had provided him comfort and security.

One look at the bunny and all Jimmy had been able to picture had been his daughter cuddling the bunny. He knew it would mean the world to him being able to pass on such a beloved childhood stuffed animal to his child. He knew that his little girl wouldn’t have to cling to the bunny as a response to fear and heartache. He’d do whatever it took to make sure his daughter had a childhood that was unlike the first ten years of his life. He knew she’d see the stuffed animal not as a security blanket to cope with trauma but as a toy that brought her joy. He would be able to share something he’d loved so dearly with her.

The bunny had actually served as the inspiration behind the choice on what theme they wanted to go with for the nursery. It had been Jimmy’s idea and Olivia had readily agreed when he’d brought up the idea of bunnies and other forest themed things as a decorating theme for the nursery.

Olivia spoke, continuing to stroke his hair. “How could I resist the idea of doing this with you a couple of more times when I saw you get so soft and adorable over everything in that box.”

Jimmy replied, not helping but to ask. “So you’d go through it all more than once?”

He had to ask. The pregnancy had been a bit rough at least in that very first trimester. Her morning sickness had felt more like all day sickness and she’d been so exhausted.

The worst had come one time when Jimmy had come home from work not having a chance to shower yet. Olivia had caught a whiff of the scent of decay that occasionally came along with Autopsy when Jimmy had pressed a kiss to her cheek and she’d barely made it to the kitchen sink where she’d emptied the contents of her stomach. Jimmy had of course felt horrible and he’d only felt worse as she’d begun to cry exclaiming that she was a “jerk” and she wasn’t puking because he kissed her, she swore. Needless to say, it had taken a lot of reassurance on Jimmy’s end to convince her that he understood. He’d started to use the hazmat shower at work before coming home after that incident. Dr. Mallard had thankfully been understanding when Jimmy brought up his reasoning for doing so.

Of course there were also the mood swings that had hit so hard throughout the pregnancy. Olivia cried at the drop of a hat over anything and everything. Jimmy felt lost as he made attempts to soothe her, occasionally making things worse due to her racing hormones and his occasional habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Thankfully though Olivia was always quick to forgive, of course that was after she sobbed and apologized, exclaiming that she couldn’t even remember why she was upset. Jimmy had quickly learned that it took a lot of reassurance from him in these moments. He’d worked hard to provide her with reassurance and understanding, knowing it was all he could do for her.

He was just trying his best to support her through it all.

To be honest Olivia’s pregnancy had been a bit of a rollercoaster. The most surprising symptom she’d dealt with was an overactive libido. It had seemed that every little thing Jimmy did had made Olivia want him so badly she couldn’t stand it. He could be doing something as innocent as shaving in the morning and she would find herself overwhelmed with how much she wanted him. Jimmy had been happy to comply, of course that had only been after he’d had the reassurance from her OBGYN that sex was a perfectly safe activity. He’d been told that as long as she was comfortable and she wasn’t experiencing any pain and avoiding putting pressure on her stomach then they were fine. They’d had to get a little creative with their positions given her belly, but they’d figured out something that worked for them both.

Jimmy hadn’t minded the occasional clinginess that had also come along with her pregnancy. When she didn’t want sex, she wanted to be as close as possible to him. She just wanted to be held. He’d never complain when she wanted to cuddle with him even if it meant her embracing him and clinging to him the second he walked through the front door.

Olivia spoke fast to reassure him. “I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. Even the vomiting. It hasn’t all been bad. I’ve liked some of it.”

Jimmy smiled knowing what her favorite moments had been. They had been his favorite moments too. They had been when they would lie in bed at night. He would rest his head against her belly talking to their baby, his voice low and sweet as he told their daughter about his day, well a heavily edited version of his day given he didn’t actually want to share the darker aspects of his job with her. She loved talking about baby names together and planning all the things they wanted for their daughter.

As difficult as her pregnancy had been it was all filled with plenty of joy.

He couldn’t stop himself from pulling his head from her belly, his lips pressing to hers the kisses soft as he spoke. “How many kids are you thinking? I need to know what I’m in for.”

She returned his kisses, the answer coming to her so easily. “As many as you’ll give me.”

He managed to speak the response spilling from him as he reluctantly pulled his lips from hers. “We might have to get a bigger house if that’s the case, or at least build on. We’re going to run out of bedrooms.”

She spoke a giggle leaving her as she pressed her lips back to his. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” He replied without hesitation only pulling from her lips briefly.

They shared more kisses, easily growing lost in the moment.

They only parted as a familiar exasperated voice sounded out at the doorframe. “Seriously guys? Come on.”

Jimmy felt his cheeks flush as he spotted Tony leaning against the doorframe rolling his eyes at the scene he’d walked in on.

He spoke again shaking his head. “You two are gross. I keep telling you that I don’t need a demonstration of how Baby Gremlin was made.”

Olivia rolled her eyes at this comment fast to reply. “For the last time can you not call your niece Baby Gremlin.”

“I say it with all the love in the world.” Tony insisted.

He spoke again before Olivia had a chance to comment on his choice in a nickname. “Anyway, come on, dinner is here and everyone should be here soon. I would have been here sooner but the pizza place was running slow.”

Jimmy was fast to stand up grabbing ahold of Olivia’s hand gently working to help her stand up from the rocking chair knowing her center of gravity was thrown off thanks to her belly.

He spoke once he was sure she was stood up and steady. “You good?”

“I’m fine. You know I used to walk on cobblestone pathways in 5 inch stilettos back when I still went clubbing.” Olivia pointed out Jimmy letting out a chuckle, his lips pressing to her cheek.

“Sorry, I worry.” He insisted.

He spoke again nodding to Tony as Olivia moved to leave the nursery. “I’ll be down in a minute. Tony can I talk to you real quick?”

Jimmy gave Olivia a reassuring nod trying his best to convince her that things were fine between Tony and he and he wasn’t about to get himself murdered. “We’ll be quick.”

Olivia rose an eyebrow nodding her head as she headed out the room. “Okay, please don’t kill each other.”

Tony spoke once he was sure Olivia was out of sight. “So what’s going on Mini-Mallard?”

Jimmy took a deep breath his stomach in knots as he tried to gather his courage to do this. “I-I I’m not sure how to even start.”

He took another deep breath knowing that he just had to let it all out. “I know that I’m not the guy you’d choose for your sister.”

“Jimmy I-” Tony started to say Jimmy fast to speak again, not giving him a chance to continue.

“I know that you’d never pick me for her. I can promise you though that I love her more than anything on this planet. I know you’re important to her. Which is why I need to talk to you about this.”

He took another deep breath as he spoke again. “I know traditionally I would talk to her father about this...but uh Dinozzo Senior doesn’t seem too enthusiastic about me. Oli says that I should take his lack of enthusiasm as a compliment.”

He paused again, trying his best to gather his nerve and keep eye contact with Tony. It was best not to let him know he was intimidated. “I love her, Tony. I love her so much it takes my breath away sometimes. I know how much she means to you which is why I feel like I should come to you and ask this. I want to start by saying that I swear to you that I will spend the rest of my life doing whatever it takes to make sure that our baby and her are always cared for and cherished. Even though I know I’m not the man you would choose for Olivia I’m hoping that I can have your blessing in my plans to ask Olivia to marry me.”

He was almost sure his heart was beating so quickly he could hear it. He spoke again stumbling over his words fearing that Tony’s silence meant the worst. “I-I know it’s not...uh Olivia’s not a traditional woman she prob-probably wouldn’t appreciate me asking like she has nothing to do with her decision bu-”

“Jimmy, stop.” Tony spoke not letting him continue.

Tony took Jimmy by surprise giving him a hug giving his back a firm pat. The hug didn’t last long Tony releasing him as he spoke. “Yes you can have my blessing.”

He cleared his throat as he spoke. “For the record Palmer you might not be the guy I would have picked, but it could have been a lot worse. It could have been Probie. If I had to pick a future brother-in-law, I’m glad it’s you Autopsy Gremlin.”

Jimmy felt the smile cross his lips at the words. It wasn’t exactly a glowing acceptance of him in Olivia’s life, but he was pretty sure this was Tony’s way of welcoming him to the family.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Jimmy couldn’t wipe the smile of his face as he sat at his dining room table surrounded by the people he loved the most and far too much food.

The conversation at the table was as lively as it usually was when they all got together.

He couldn’t stop himself from taking Olivia’s hand in his he gently squeezing it. He was unable to stop himself from leaning over his lips pressing to her cheek.

Of course this caught the attention of Tony who was fast to speak. “Seriously Palmer, at the dinner table?”

Ziva gave his arm a slap fast to speak. ‘Oh, stop, it is very sweet.”

“Yeah they’re expectant parents, let them be adorable.” Abby insisted as she took far too many sips of soda for the overly large cup she’d brought with her.

Ducky spoke latching on to the subject. “Speaking of, have you picked a name for Baby Palmer yet?”

Jimmy spoke so fast to speak unable to hide the enthusiasm from his voice. “Yes we have. It’s actually kind of a funny story.”

He paused clearing his throat glancing at Olivia double checking that he was okay to continue. He spoke again as she gave him a gentle nod of approval as he allowed the story to leave him. “It all ties back to our first kiss. I uh...we went to get ice cream and it started raining. We were blocks away from our car so we had to hide under this awning for this building that was for lease. I just looked down at her, and one thing led to another. I did what I'm been dying to do for months. I thought I’d totally ruined everything.”

He paused his cheeks flushing as Olivia spoke continuing the story. “I had to reassure him that I had been flirting with him for a while now so it was about time he kissed me.”

Jimmy spoke clearly able to see that everyone was a bit lost as to what any of this had to do with how they’d picked their unborn child’s name. “We didn’t look back after that. Anyway a few months ago we just happened to drive by that awning and it’s now a candle and gift shop. It’s called Autumn Wind Gifts and Candles...so we decided that it was a sign.”

Olivia spoke unable to keep the smile off her lips. “We’re naming her Autumn. Autumn Mallory Palmer.”

“Mallory?” Ducky questioned Jimmy and Olivia sharing a smile Jimmy fast to speak.

“We hope you don’t mind. It’s just that uh...well in my time working as your assistant I have grown to see you as more than a mentor and a friend but as the closest thing to a father I’ve ever known. Olivia and I have been talking and can’t think of anyone who we’d rather have our daughter named for.”

Dr. Mallard couldn’t hide the tears from his eyes as he spoke. “I’d be honored Mr. Palmer.”

Tony was fast to speak raising his glass. “Even though I’m bummed that Toni didn’t make the cut, I’d like to propose a toast to my niece. To Autumn Mallory Palmer.”

Everyone obliged to the toast the conversation picking back up.

Olivia spoke a sigh leaving her as the conversation died down. “Okay, I vote we get these plates cleared and get started on that nursery.”

Jimmy was fast to stand helping her get up from her seat as he spoke trying not to look too sheepish. “I’m warning you the instruction to that crib are a nightmare.”

Abby, Ziva, and McGee moved fast to help Olivia clear the table.

Jimmy felt his heart overflow with adoration as he moved to assist. He didn’t think this day could get any better.

He was about to eat his words though as he heard a frantic call from the kitchen. “Jimmy!”

He dropped the paper plate he’d been holding rushing to the kitchen his heart slamming in his chest his mind going a mile a second.

He stared wide eyed at his girlfriend and his frantic coworkers. Olivia stared up at him her hand clutching her belly her words frantic. “I’m having contractions. I think it’s time.”

Jimmy felt the words leave him he frantic. “It’s go time, baby time, our baby. It’s time, I gotta get our suitcases!’

It was go time. It was time for Autumn Mallory Palmer to join her family.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………….

To say labor and delivery was intense would be an understatement. Jimmy was almost amazed Olivia hadn’t broken his hand with how hard she was squeezing it.

It had been a long process, a long exhausting process. It had gone slow at first and then when it was time to push it had seemed to go by so fast. Early labor had seemed to move so slowly. They’d spent the time resting, walking the halls of the labor and delivery wing of the hospital. Then once her water had broken things had still been slow but they’d been so intense. The actual delivery had moved so quickly though. It was almost unbelievable. There had been so much pain and chaos and then an overwhelming feeling of love and peace the second their daughter had entered the world.

Jimmy would be lying if he ever tried to claim he hadn’t cried tears of joy at the sound of her cries and at the sight of her. His hands had shaken as he’d cut the umbilical cord. It was as though every single bit of medical knowledge he’d had had left his brain as he’d cut that cord, it seeming so frightening and so overwhelming. Part of him was convinced he’d somehow hurt her.

She was beautiful, the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Even covered in afterbirth and screaming her lungs out she was the most stunning sight Jimmy had ever seen.

When he’d held her in his arms the first time more tears had come. He’d wanted nothing more than to hold her against him and protect her. He’d held her against him the words leaving him as he spoke to her. “I love you. I love you so much Autumn.”

The words had left him as he stared down at Olivia their newborn daughter in her arms. “Thank you, thank you so much. She’s so perfect. You’re so perfect. You were amazing. I love you both so much.”

The tears had come for Olivia too she unable to describe the feeling that had washed over her as her daughter had been placed in her arms. She felt complete. It was the only way she could think to describe it.

As she’d stared down at Autumn and up at Jimmy she knew her life was so complete.

Olivia was getting her rest and Autumn was as well. Jimmy was thankful that the nurses had been kind enough to bring her to the room for a little while at least. Jimmy wasn’t looking forward to her going back to the hospital nursery but he knew the nurses would insist upon it soon so they could get all get some rest without fretting over the baby. Jimmy knew he should be getting his rest as well. He’d need it.

His mind was so full though. It had been such a long day full of emotional highs. He couldn’t take his mind off the velvet box resting in his suitcase at the moment. He was almost surprised he’d thought to grab it when he’d gathered their baby go bags.

He was surprised by the sound of her voice. “Jimmy.”

He stood up so fast he almost tripped over his own feet as he made his way over to her bed. “Are you okay? Are you in pain?”

“I’m good. Don’t get me wrong, I’m hurting. I think I’ll be okay though. Is Autumn okay? Have you gotten any sleep?” She asked staring up at him.

He reached down smoothing back her hair not helping but to say it. “Can’t sleep. She’s asleep. You look beautiful.”

“I went through over eight hours of active labor. I doubt I look great right now.” She remarked Jimmy chuckling at this.

He leaned down pressing his lips to her temple. “And that makes you all the more beautiful.”

He continued to stroke her hair she speaking trying not to fall back to sleep. “You should get some sleep. We’re going to need all the sleep we can get.”

“I will later I promise.” he reassured her.

He leaned down his lips pressing to hers a voice in the back of his head telling him this was the perfect time for this.

He pulled from the kiss the words leaving him. “Give me a second.”

She frowned confused as she watched him go to their suitcases digging through them frantically before he made his way back over to her.

He cleared his throat praying this was the right time for this. “I love you. I love you so much. I once told you that my heart belongs to yours and I think that’s still true. I still remember the day we met. You stepped into that elevator and I knew I belonged to you. I was so disappointed when I found out you were Tony’s sister because I was so convinced you were unreachable. Then fate drew us together and I realized that I would do whatever it takes to be yours as long as you’ll have me. I knew I’d do whatever it took to be worthy of your love. You’re the love of my life and now you’re the mother to my child. I can’t imagine a life without you. You’re the woman of my dreams. I had plans to do this in a more romantic setting, but I think this is a pretty good setting for me to do this in. Olivia Sofia Dinozzo will you marry me?”

Olivia felt the tears leave her, her heart feeling even fuller than she’d thought possible. He didn’t even have a chance to open that velvet box he was holding before she spoke. ‘Yes, yes of course.”

He managed to open the ring box slipping the diamond ring on her finger, their lips meeting. He spoke his voice filled with emotion between kisses. “It took me so long to find a ring. I was terrified of getting something you wouldn't like.”

“I love it. I’d love it even if you proposed with a ring pop.” Olivia insisted his lips meeting hers again.

They only pulled apart as their daughter’s cries sounded out.

Jimmy scrambled to go to the hospital bassinet, he gently picking her up, his voice soft. “Hey, come on now. I’ve got you. I’m here. Dad’s here. Come on let's go see Mommy.”

He made his way over to Olivia placing Autumn in her arms he unable to stop himself from pressing a kiss to her temple as she adjusted holding their daughter against her.

Jimmy stared down at them both, his heart aching with adoration.

As Olivia smiled up at him her heart aching just as much.

When she’d gone to visit her brother at NCIS headquarters she had never imagined that this would be in her future.

Jimmy had certainly never imagined that when the pretty girl had stepped on the elevator that day that she would one day be the mother to his child and his future wife as well.

This wasn’t what either of them had expected but it was everything they could have ever possibly dreamed of.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Second Time Around 8

Elon Musk

Chapter 7

Pairings: Elon Musk x Reader 

Warnings: RPF

_________

Elon walked downstairs and flopped down on the couch. Feeling awful, was putting what he felt lightly. He quickly grabbed his phone and thumbed through the calendar. Sure enough, on that day’s date there was an entry that said, “Y/n doctor appointment 1:45.” 

“Fuck me.” 

Elon muttered. At 1:45, he had been sitting in his office staring at the wall blankly. If Elon paid attention to the date on the calendar then you wouldn’t be upset with him. 

“I wouldn’t be sleeping on this couch.”

The next morning, you woke up to an empty bed. If Elon had come to bed you didn’t notice. Looking down at your phone, there was a text from Elon about a meeting at work. 

“Now he is going to avoid me until he’s ready to apologize,” 

You muttered before deciding to go back over to Ruth’s and apologize for your less than stellar behavior. 

Standing on Ruth’s doorstep, you tightened your black tweed coat around your body. The last thing that you wanted to do was run into your mother. Apologizing to Ruth was going to be enough. Apologizing to Pattie would be a total experience that you didn’t want. You would have to face her but at the moment...you didn’t want to.

You let your mind roll back on your childhood, it was no wonder that you were the way you were. Your parents had been divorced for a few years before having a one night stand that resulted in your birth. Growing up, you knew that your mother was always regretful of her decision to sleep with your father. You were the second child that she really didn’t want. 

The one thing that saved any type of maternal feelings was the fact that you were extraordinarily beautiful. Pattie saw having a daughter who took after her in the modeling industry as a great meal ticket! She was furious when you were six and your father put his foot down and said “hell fucking no” to modeling. Pattie’s sense of dissatisfaction intensified when you decided to go into the music industry like Eric. Ever since then your mother had little good to say about anything you did…

Shaking the thoughts from your mind, you rang the doorbell and waited for Ruth to come to the door. 

“I’m a good person. I’m a good person.” 

You muttered until the door opened. Ruth stood on the other side of the door with her warm motherly smile on her face. 

“Y/n! What are you doing here?” 

You looked down at your feet like an insolent child. 

“I came to apologize for my less than stellar behavior last night. I kind of wrecked your dinner and acted like a two year old.” 

Ruth smirked and stepped aside to let you in. She walked to the couch and patted the spot beside her. You sat down slowly as Ruth turned off the TV. 

“It was actually kind of amusing. I was surprised to say the least. Y/n, I have to know. Are you really pregnant or were you just trying to give our mother a heart attack?”

You stood up and took off your tweed coat. Ruth looked at the small swell of your stomach under the black dress that you were wearing. She smiled. 

“Oh, wow! This is wonderful! I am so excited for you! We have so much to do! Buy baby clothes and…”

You held a hand up. 

“Is everything a trip to the mall for you?”

Ruth chuckled. 

“I never thought that this was going to happen. How is Elon taking it? I figured the two of you had made some macabre plan to kill our mother.” 

It was your turn to laugh. 

“No, it was no macabre plan. He’s taking it well enough. Elon is kind of on my shit list at the moment. He totally forgot my doctor’s appointment yesterday. The doctor thought that Jeffree was the father. Jeffree showed up 30 minutes later when I called him in some sobbing fit because Elon didn’t show up.”

Ruth winced. 

“Oh dear, yeah that wasn’t good. I’m sure he didn’t mean to forget. That man has a lot on him. I think that you know that too, Y/n.” 

You looked down at your shoes.

“Yeah, I know that he does. I guess my hormones just went crazy...like he said.” 

Ruth gently patted your knee. 

“You're pregnant, Y/n. You are entitled to hormones.”

(Meanwhile) 

Elon sat looking blankly at the computer screen in front of him. He needed to get a presentation prepared but nothing was happening. Glancing down at his phone, Elon was surprised that he hadn’t heard a thing from you. Yeah, he knew that he had really dropped the ball and he didn’t expect anything “lovey” but he expected something. 

A knock at the door pulled Elon from his thoughts. He looked up as Kimball stepped in. His brother automatically winced at the expression on Elon’s face. 

“Oh, you don’t look so good! Is something wrong? Oh no, is Y/n okay?”

Elon nodded. 

“She’s fine. She is ready to kill me. I blame you, personally.” 

Kimball was automatically offended before sitting down. He couldn’t help but wonder what exactly he had done to his older brother in the past 24 hours. 

“What did I do exactly?” 

Elon rolled his eyes. 

“If I hadn’t been here talking to you I would have never missed Y/n’s appointment and she wouldn’t have unleashed holy hell on me. She screamed at her mother then went after me. I have to go sofa shopping when I get done here. I slept on mine and to be honest it was dreadful!” 

Kimbal sat clearly processing what Elon had told him. He held up a finger before finally speaking. 

“So you're telling me that because I was calming your ass down it is also my fault that you missed her appointment? Sorry, but I think that is absolute garbage! When I came here, you were looking at that wall there like some kind of nutcase. You are not taking out your problems on me! I take your side enough as it is!” 

Elon held a hand up.

“Okay! I’m sorry! I kind of feel like an ass.” 

Kimbal smiled. 

“Well, you should! You missed her appointment and I was being delightful! Where is she now?” 

Elon shrugged. 

“She isn’t at home. I called Jeffree and she hasn’t gotten into the music studio yet.” 

Kimbal took out his phone. He had a feeling that he knew where this was going. You were probably avoiding Elon like the plague and Elon probably hadn’t tried to call you either. 

“Give me a minute.”  

Elon watched his brother as the phone rang.

“Y/n! Hello! I was just calling to check in. Is all well? Uh huh. Oh, that’s lovely! I heard about the experience with your mother. That was amazing.” 

Kimball glanced over at Elon who was scowling at him. He was clearly wanting information and Kimbal was just babbling on and on.

“Alright, yeah I’ll let him know.” 

When Kimbal hung up, he gave Elon a glare. 

“What? I was in the middle of a conversation!” 

“Sorry to disturb your hot tub party but I want to know where my fiance is!” 

Kimal nodded. 

“Right, she is at her sister’s house.” 

That all made sense. Of course you were at Ruth’s. You were probably apologizing for the night before. Elon smiled. As much as you didn’t want anything to do with Pattie; you at least had enough respect for Ruth to apologize for the rather unsettling dinner scene. 

“I’m not surprised. Well, I better go apologize.” 

(Meanwhile)

You sat across from Ruth who decided that you needed to eat more. She shoved a bagel with cream cheese in front of you. 

“I will tell you this, mom had no idea what to say when you left! She just sat there staring at a wall. If you wanted to shock her, you did it!” 

You smirked before nibbling on the bagel.

“I was hoping that she would hit the floor but it didn’t happen.” 

Ruth smiled and quietly washed a few more dishes before turning back to you. Her face was a bit more serious now. 

“Have you told your father yet?” 

You automatically winced at that question. No, you had not told Eric yet. That was going to be a whole other barrel of monkeys! You were lucky that Eric hadn’t figured it out yet. His nose was like a doberman when it came to you having problems. Eric always knew when you had a problem! You sighed again. 

“No, I haven’t. Ruth, you know that if I tell him he will be here trying to take care of me.” 

Ruth nodded. She knew exactly what you were thinking about too. Eric had always been more “careful” with you after your brother Conor died. Careful was probably an understatement!  

The doorbell ringing pulled Ruth from her thoughts.

“I’ll be right back.” 

Once she opened the door, Ruth smiled seeing Elon on the other side. 

“Hello Ruth. I was hoping to speak with Y/n.” 

Ruth nodded with a smile. 

“Of course, she’s calmed down some. I don’t think that you have anything to worry about.” 

Elon nodded, clearly relieved. The last thing Elon really wanted was to fight with you. 

“That sounds wonderful. Where is she?”

Ruth pointed to the kitchen. 

“Go ahead, I’ll stay here so you both can have some privacy.”  

________

@elonscult and @xjjlex

[renee-writer]

Julia Chapter 11 Testing

AO3

Her hands shake as she pulls the door to the clinic open. This must be done. She knows it but the actual doing, it is more then a little terrifying. She forces herself to walk up to the lift and press the button for the third floor.  Uncle Lamb, Jamie, and Murtagh had all offered to come with her.  As much as she needs support, she needs to be able to do this on her own, more.

 

A sea of pink greets her as she exits on to the breast cancer floor. All the workers wear it. It is in the pink ribbons that line the walls. She has always liked the color but it nauseates her now. She walks up to the desk.

 

“Claire Beauchamp, here for genetic testing.”

 

“Yes, with Dr. Abernathy. Please fill out these forms and we will be right with you.”

 

“Thank you.”  She sits down by a rack of pamphlets that show how to do a self breast exam. Picking one up, she tucks it into her purse before turning to the forms.

 

“Claire Beauchamp?” She stands, willing herself not to faint or be sick, and follows her back. She is lead into an exam room.  “Dr. Abernathy will be right with you.”

 

“Thank you.” The walls are covered in soothing prints, not the expected posters of medical information. The door opens a few minutes after the nurse leaves.  The doctor who enters is not at all what she expects.

 

“Dr. Joe Abernathy. It is nice to meet you Miss Beauchamp.”

 

“Hi. It is Claire. I wasn’t expecting..”

 

“An American male black doctor?” he replies, a trickle in his soft brown eyes.

 

“The male part.”

 

“If that makes you uncomfortable we can.. “

 

“No. It is all good.  At least you aren’t wearing that hideous pink.”

 

He laughs as he takes a seat on the stool. “It is horrible, isn’t it? We are all required to wear it but I hide it in my socks.” He lifts up his pants leg to show her.  It brings a smile and sooths her some.

 

“Better. They all could do that.”

 

“If only.” He picks up her chart. “ “So your mom passed at twenty-six from breast cancer?”

 

“Yes. My uncle, who raised me, just recently told me. I was to young at first and then..” she shrugs.

 

“He was trying to spare you.” He softly offers.

 

“Yeah. But I know now.  I have done some research. I need to know, you know. If I am a carrier, I think it is better to know sooner, so I can make the right decisions.”

 

“Quite smart. You are eighteen?”

 

She nods. “Yes just turned. Young, I know but..”

 

“Young but you are doing it right. If you are a carrier of the BRKA gene, the sooner you know, the better.  Is your maternal grandmother still alive?”

 

“No, she died before I was born. Her and my grandpa. Car accident.”

 

“Okay. We don’t know if she was sick before?”

 

“I asked my uncle, her son. He says no. Or not that he knows.”

 

“Understand. How about your maternal great grandmother?”

 

“I am sorry. I don’t know anything about her.”

 

“It is alright.  Do you have any siblings?”

 

“No.”

 

“Any children?”

 

“I am just eighteen.” At his raised brows, she adds, “No. No children.”

 

“Okay. You have done your research but I still need to go over some things with you.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“A positive test increases the chance of breast and ovarian cancers by up to 70 percent.”

 

“Ovarian too. I didn’t..”

 

“Yes. Must focus on the breast. But all hormonal based cancers increase. In males it is testicular cancer. Why I asked if you had any siblings.”

 

“Because they should be tested too.”

 

“Just so. If you test positive there are options.”

 

“I get my boobs cut off.”

 

“One option is a radical mastectomy. Some also have a hysterectomy.”

 

“I am only eighteen. I want kids.” She feels tears gather in her eyes.

 

“Egg harvesting is an option. But Claire, we aren’t there yet.”

 

“Test first.” He hands her the box of tissues. She wipes her eyes.

 

“Yes.  If you decide on a mastectomy, breast reconstruction can be done.”

 

“So I will look like a woman while being a shell inside. On bloody hormones to keep from drying up, at eighteen!” She feels a helpless rage. It isn’t fair. Her life is just beginning!

 

“It isn’t fair.” He moves closer, placing his hand over hers. “  Totally wrong. But, it can save your life. You will still be a woman, be Claire. Just with a lot less chance of dying young. But that is only if it is positive.”

 

“Right. We need to find out.”

 

“We do. The test itself is simple. Just spit in this vial. Try to fill it up.”

 

“No blood?”

 

“Nope.” He hands it to her and she gets to spitting.  After it is filled and capped, with her info placed on, she asks him,

 

“How long?”

 

“A few days. We will call you back in for the results. No matter what so don’t freak when we do.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Try not to worry. I know that is easier said then done.”

 

“I will try. Thank you Dr. Abernathy. You have been quite kind.”  She heads to the lift and prepares for the longest couple days of her life.

[rodgram38]

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The lymph system is additionally affected by hormones, particularly progesterone and oestrogen, which is why cellulite can come to be a lot more obvious in ladies throughout the age of puberty, menopause and maternity. So I'm curious concerning what Kate, the 56-year-old British owner of popular leg-care brand Legology, assures is her brand-new, less 'negative' means to decrease cellulite substantially.

[arysafics]

Someone Else’s Baby

Summary:  When Gina finds out she can't get pregnant, she and Bellamy enlist in the help of a surrogate, Clarke Griffin. Bellamy didn't realise how much the pregnancy would affect him.

Rated E, ~3.6k words

Bellamy and Gina always knew they wanted kids. Raising a family has always meant more to Bellamy than any of his other life goals, and he and Gina were always on the same page, that they would start trying as soon as they were married. They tried for a year on their own before they started to get impatient, worried, and enlisted the help of a fertility clinic. Gina cried for almost three days straight when they got the results back, telling them that, ultimately, she was infertile.

After the initial shock had worn off, they discussed their options, and settled on surrogacy. Gina even confessed to him that she was secretly glad she wouldn’t have to give birth, because that thought had always kind of terrified her.

They went through an agency, and two months later, they met Clarke Griffin. Who is now standing at the front door, despite the fact that their ultrasound appointment isn’t for another half an hour.

“Sorry I’m so early,” Clarke says, as Bellamy lets her inside. “I told my boss I had an ultrasound appointment and she got so excited she let me go early. It was just easier to come straight here than go home first.”

“It’s fine, Clarke,” Bellamy says, leading her into the living room. Although he’s not entirely sure if it is fine. Gina isn’t here yet, and Bellamy doesn’t really like being alone with Clarke.

Clarke sinks down onto the couch, Bellamy’s eyes on her protruding belly. She never wears maternity clothes. Today it’s just a stretchy tank top and a maxi skirt. A sliver of her stomach always seems to be visible. She’s six months pregnant now, and along with her growing belly, her breasts seem to have increased a cup size or two as well, a fact which hasn’t escaped Bellamy’s notice. From the looks of it she hasn’t bothered to get a new bra fitted, electing to go without instead.

Bellamy realises he’s staring, and he quickly clears his throat. He shoves his hands into his pockets so they stop feeling so useless and awkward. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No, I’m okay,” Clarke says. “Where’s Gina?” She looks around, almost nervously. Like maybe she’s afraid to be alone with him as well. Maybe she’s figured out he’s insanely attracted to her and is worried he’ll try to do something about it.

“Still at work,” Bellamy says. “She should be here soon.”

Clarke looks up at him from the couch. “Are you going to sit or what?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy says. He sits on the end of the couch, as far away from her as possible. He watches her though. He can’t seem to stop. He thought she was pretty when they first met, but now, when she’s six months pregnant with his child, she’s all he can think about. It’s a disease.

She rubs her belly absentmindedly. Bellamy yearns to do the same.

“Only three more months until you become a dad,” Clarke says. “How does it feel?”

“Honestly, it doesn’t feel real yet,” Bellamy says. “It’s like, Gina and I are reading all these parenting books, buying all this baby stuff, and we know it’s coming. But it’s still so… abstract.”

“Do you think it would feel more real if it was Gina was the one who was pregnant and not me?”

Bellamy shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s always like this for the dad.” He pauses, studying her for a moment. Not that his eyes ever left her. “How’s being pregnant?”

“Not so bad,” Clarke says. “Random people keep trying to touch my stomach though, which is annoying. And I guess I’ve got all these crazy hormones.”

“Crying over eating the last cookie, that kind of thing?” Bellamy smiles, remembering when his mom was pregnant with Octavia.

“More like—” she stops, blushing. “Well, let’s just say I sometimes wish I wasn’t single.”

Bellamy finds himself blushing too, when he realises what she means. Her pregnancy hormones are making her horny, and she’s got no one to help her out. “Right,” he says awkwardly.

“Sorry,” Clarke says. “I shouldn’t have said that, way too much information.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Bellamy says. They’re adults, they should be able to talk about sex without it being weird. “I guess it would be hard to find someone who wants to have casual sex with a pregnant woman.”

“Yeah, but it’s not just the sex,” Clarke says quickly. “I actually don’t think it would be that hard to find someone to have sex with if I was really trying. But I get really—touch-starved, I guess? Like I just want somebody to hold me for a while.”

He could do that, right? Just hold her for a few minutes while they wait for Gina? That’s not cheating. It’s just helping out the woman who is carrying their baby. Except he knows it’s not just that, because even though he’s pretty sure his attraction to her is mostly to do with her being pregnant with his baby, it’s still there, and his reasons for holding her wouldn’t be totally altruistic.

“I guess, if we were doing this the normal way, you know, I’d be there for you— I mean, the father of the child would be.” Which is him. God, she’s blushing again, all the way down to her chest. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply—”

“It’s fine, Bellamy.”

He wants to groan at his own graceless attempts at conversation. He’s sure he’d be normal if he wasn’t trying so hard to not accidentally flirt with her. He’s not sure he’s even achieving that.

“I never asked you why you decided to become a surrogate,” Bellamy says, desperately trying to steer the conversation away from Clarke’s sex life, and the fact that she’s carrying his baby. He’s half hard now, and if it gets any worse, she might just notice.

Clarke turns her head towards him, squinting at him, as if she’s not sure if she should tell him. “I just wanted to do something… selfless.”

“Why?”

She shrugs. “I did a lot of—not great things when I was younger. I guess I’m trying to make up for it.”

Bellamy is bursting to ask her what kind of things she did. But it’s clear she doesn’t want to talk about it. He searches for something else to say that isn’t invasive or creepy, since he’s covered both of those things already.

Before he can think of anything, he’s saved by his phone ringing, and he scrambles to answer it, relieved at the intervention. “Hey, babe,” he answers. “It’s Gina,” he mouths at Clarke, as if she might think he’s call someone else babe. Clarke nods.

“I’m trying really hard to stay calm right now, but I want to murder my boss,” Gina says.

“What’s wrong?”

“Even though I told him about our appointment, he’s now saying I can’t go. There’s a lot of work to do here, but he fucking promised me. I told him how important the six-month ultrasound is, and he just told me I didn’t need to be there since I’m not actually the one who’s pregnant.”

She sounds like she’s on the verge of tears from pure frustration.

“Want me to come down there and kick his ass?”

“The only reason I’m not kicking his ass myself is because I’m angling to get extra maternity leave,” Gina complains. “But I really want to be there.”

“It’s okay,” Bellamy tells her. “We can reschedule. Right, Clarke?”

“Sure,” Clarke agrees.

“Clarke’s there?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy says. “She says it’s fine.”

“I feel so bad. Tell her I’m really sorry she had to miss work for nothing,” Gina says.

“Gina says she’s sorry you had to miss work.”

“It’s okay,” Clarke grins. “My boss loves me. She won’t care if I have to take more time off.”

“Clarke is really fine with it,” Bellamy tells Gina.

“Okay,” Gina breathes. “I guess I better get back to it. I’m really sorry, babe. Will you call the doctor and reschedule?”

“Of course,” Bellamy says. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay, bye. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

He hangs up, and quickly calls the doctor to reschedule, checking with Clarke to make sure the new time suits her too.

“I guess I should go then,” Clarke says, once Bellamy has made the appointment. Bellamy nods. No point in acting like he thinks she should stick around so they can hang out. It’s not like they’re really friends. Even though he’s sure they could be really good friends, if he trusted himself enough around her to not do something stupid, like kiss her.

“I’ll see you next week,” he says.

Clarke goes to stand up, but then she stops, her hand flying to her stomach.

“Ooh!” she exclaims, her eyes lighting up. “The baby’s kicking. Come feel.” She reaches for him, and Bellamy scoots closer, somewhat apprehensively. She grabs his hand and pulls her tank top up, baring her swollen stomach. She places his hand on her baby bump, his large palm covering her skin. He feels nothing. He glances at Clarke.

“Just wait,” she says. He feels a jerk against his hand and his heart skips a beat, a grin spreading over his face. He knows this isn’t the first time she’s felt the baby kicking, but it’s the first time he’s felt it. His insides melt. That’s his baby.

Clarke is absolutely beaming, her eyes sparkling at him. Bellamy grins back. He leans down and puts his cheek against her belly.

Clarke laughs. “You won’t be able to hear anything,” she says, resting her hand on his head. Bellamy feels the baby kick against his cheek, and before he can think better of it, he turns his head and presses his lips against her stomach. Clarke’s fingers curl into his hair.

Bellamy pulls away abruptly, his face flaming. “Sorry,” he whispers hoarsely. “That was inappropriate.”

“It’s okay,” Clarke says. “You were kissing the baby. You weren’t kissing me.”

Bellamy swallows thickly. His heart is racing. He nods.

“You don’t have to stop,” Clarke says. “You should be able to kiss your baby as much as you want.”

“Clarke, I don’t think—” he stops, shaking his head. He wants to put his lips on her so badly. Not just on her stomach. Everywhere, all over her body. But it would be so fucked up. He can’t cheat on his wife, let alone with the woman who’s carrying their baby. “I don’t think you understand,” he says.

“I understand.” He looks at her sharply. She bites her lip. “Seeing me pregnant with your baby turns you on.”

Bellamy looks away again, flushing. “It’s that obvious, huh?”

“Only to me,” Clarke says. Bellamy manages to look at her again. She wants him to touch her. Her pupils are wide, her eyes full of longing.

Bellamy slides his hand over her belly again, watching Clarke’s expression the whole time. Her eyes flutter closed, and she breathes in deeply. When was the last time she was touched properly? By somebody who cares about her and not just the human she’s growing in her stomach?

“I can hold you,” he blurts out. “For a little while. I can give you that.”

Clarke opens her eyes, and nods hesitantly. It’s a bad idea, Bellamy knows that. It’s an even worse idea to take her to his bedroom, but that’s what he does. There isn’t enough room on the couch.

Clarke lies down on his bed, on her side, and Bellamy cautiously settles himself behind her. He wraps his arms around her, his hands resting on her belly, and Clarke sighs happily. Bellamy breathes in the scent of her coconut scented shampoo.

“This feel better?” he murmurs.

“Yeah,” Clarke says. “Thank you.”

Bellamy rubs her stomach gently, over her tank top, almost subconsciously. His cock presses insistently against the fly of his pants. He splays his hands over her stomach possessively, and Clarke puts her tiny hands over his. His lips rest against her bare shoulder, and he kisses her there without thinking. Her hands grip his tightly, and he stops, squeezing his eyes shut, feeling guilty when he realises what he’s doing.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I keep forgetting. I just—didn’t realise this pregnancy would—” he swallows. He shouldn’t say it out loud. “Make me want you so much.”

Clarke is silent for a moment, and Bellamy wonders if he’s taken it too far, if he’s offended her. But she doesn’t move away, and her thumb rubs the back of his hand gently, soothingly.

“It turns me on too,” she finally whispers. Bellamy’s breath hitches. “I think about you,” she says, her voice shaking. “When I touch myself. Wish you were holding me or fucking me. Taking care of me like you would if I was your wife.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy chokes out. “You have no idea how much I want to do that. But Gina—”

“I know,” Clarke says. “You’re such a good husband. You’re going to be such a good father. I’m so happy I’m having your baby. I only wish it was my baby too.”

“Me too,” Bellamy admits. He’s never admitted that even to himself before. But he loves Gina, and it’s their baby Clarke is carrying. And he doesn’t want to do anything to fuck up this baby’s life, like cheat on his wife and ruin their marriage.

“Bellamy,” Clarke whispers. The way she says his name gives him goosebumps. “I’m so horny,” she tells him. His cock jumps. He’s fully hard by now, and he’s aching for her. “I haven’t been fucked in so long.” He can feel what little resolve he had fading as she pleads with him. Some primal instinct tells him it’s his duty to take care of the woman carrying his baby, to give her what she needs.

His hand slides down her stomach, her hand on his, guiding him lower, dipping beneath the waistband of her skirt, into her panties, until his whole hand is over her pussy. His heart is racing. This is wrong, so wrong. He’s crossed a line he never thought he’d cross.

“Please, Bellamy,” Clarke murmurs hoarsely. “Finger me, please.”

“Look at me,” Bellamy whispers. He shifts, propping himself up on his elbow and Clarke rolls over onto her back. Bellamy looks down at her, his hand still covering her pussy. She’s got tears in her eyes, desperation creasing her face. He slips a finger inside her, and she gasps. She’s wet as hell.

“Gina can’t find out,” he says, and saying it out loud makes his stomach churn with guilt. Still, he doesn’t stop. He keeps one finger inside her, stroking her lazily. With his other hand, he pushes her tank top up again, bunching it under her breasts. He kisses her stomach again, and again, and again, soft and sweet.

“Seeing you like this,” he croaks out. “Fuck, Clarke. Every time I see you, you’re bigger. My baby growing inside you. Drives me crazy.”

“I know,” Clarke breathes. Bellamy rubs her clit with his thumb and her breath hitches. “I see you looking at me.”

Bellamy groans. “I want to make you feel so good,” he says.

He kisses her stomach again, then lower, and lower. He pulls his hand from her panties, then drags them down, along with her skirt, abandoning them on the floor at the foot of the bed. He presses his lips to her cunt, covered in soft curls. He slips his tongue between her folds, and she moans when he makes contact with her clit.

Her hands find their way into his hair as he caresses her clit with his tongue.

“God, Bellamy,” she groans. “That feels so good. Don’t stop.”

He has no intention of stopping now. He’s too far gone. His guilt doesn’t eclipse his arousal, or his need to please Clarke, his need to make sure the woman carrying his child is satisfied.

He fucks her with his tongue, tasting her arousal, until she’s panting and writhing, right on the brink, and then he sucks on her clit and tips her over the edge. She cries out, pulling on his hair, arching against his face.

He pulls away as she comes down, her grip on his curls loosening. He presses a kiss to her inner thigh. His cock throbs, and he’s even more aware of it now that he’s not focused on Clarke’s pleasure. Would it make a difference if he fucks her now? He’s already cheated on his wife. Gina sure as hell wouldn’t see a difference between him going down on another woman or fucking her.

Bellamy looks up, meeting Clarke’s eyes. Her stomach bulges between them, and he knows he has to have her. Has to fuck her. Otherwise he’ll never stop thinking about it.

“Can I—?” he asks, knowing Clarke will know what he wants, what he needs. What he’s been dreaming of since they implanted his seed into Clarke’s uterus.

“We’ve already come this far,” she says. “And it’s not like I can get any more pregnant.” No chance of leaving any evidence.

Bellamy sheds his clothes like a man possessed, and Clarke pulls her tank top over her head, so he finally gets to see those magnificent breasts. God, if she was his wife, he’d get to watch her breastfeed their baby.

“Fuck, you are so fucking gorgeous,” he growls. He brings his mouth to her breast, kissing her messily, then sucking her nipple into his mouth.

“Bellamy, come on,” Clarke whines. “Fuck me, please.”

“I will,” he says, moving his mouth to her other breast. “But this is the only chance I’ll ever have to do this. Let me enjoy it.”

He lavishes her tits, sucking on her nipples, squeezing them with his hands. God, she has the best tits he’s ever had his hands on. It’s a travesty they don’t belong to him.

She’s whimpering now, desperate for his cock, and he’s just as desperate to be inside her. His hands ghost over her stomach, a swell of possessiveness surging in his chest as he sheaths himself inside her. He keeps his hands on his stomach as he fucks her, the thought of his baby inside her spurring him on. Doesn’t matter that she’s not the mother of the child, in this moment, she may as well be. He wants her to be.

“Can’t wait for you to have my baby, Clarke,” he groans, his words coming out breathless and hoarse as he keeps up his steady rhythm. “Wish I could’ve fucked my baby into you. Made you pregnant myself.”

“Me too,” Clarke moans. “God, I want to have your babies. Want you to be the father of my children.”

“Fuck, Clarke. I wish we could.”

“I’m going to come again.”

“Me too.”

“Come inside me,” Clarke begs. “Please, put your come in me.” As soon as the words are out of her mouth, she’s coming again, he second orgasm washing over her, her cunt clenching around him. She draws his orgasm from him, and he fills her with his seed. Like she said, it’s not like she can get any more pregnant.

He stays on top of her as he comes down, his breathing slowly returning to normal. He slips out of her, his come slipping from her cunt and onto the bed. He curses inwardly. He’ll have to change the sheets before Gina gets home, and then come up with an excuse to why he changed them.

“Tell her the dog threw up on the bed,” Clarke says, reading his mind. This lying, cheating thing comes too naturally to both of them.

“This can’t happen again,” Bellamy says, but his hands itch to be on her again already. He places one on her stomach, unable to stop himself. She rests her hand over his.

“I know. Do you feel guilty?”

“Not as much as I should. Do you?”

Clarke shakes her head. “Not really.”

“So much for doing something selfless though, right?” Bellamy snorts.

Clarke flushes at that. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“You’ve done this before? Fucked another woman’s husband?”

“Boyfriend,” Clarke says.

“So what happened?”

“He died. In a car accident. I was driving.”

“Fuck, Clarke,” Bellamy winces.

“Told you I have a lot of shit to make up for. That’s just the start of it.” She pauses, looks down, then back up at him. “Guess I can add you to my list, huh?”

Bellamy shakes his head. “Or maybe I should add you to my list.”

Clarke smiles wryly. “You’re still a good man.”

“Am I?”

“Maybe you’re not. Does that bother you?”  

“Does it bother you?”

Clarke bites her lip. “Wish you were a little bit worse, actually. Then we could keep doing this. Then maybe you’d leave her for me.”

“Don’t say stuff like that.”

“Why not?”

“Makes me feel—tempted.”

Clarke sits up, and Bellamy’s hand falls from her belly. “I should go.”

Bellamy nods. He starts the process of stripping the bed as Clarke dresses. He lets her go, and part of him wishes he didn’t have to see her again. Part of him knows that being with her just once will never be enough. But it has to be, because he’s married, and he’s starting a family. And Clarke isn’t part of that family, and she never can be.

[herbwoodssiddhatreatment]

Depression, Symptoms and Explanation

Depression is really some sort of extreme despair, feelings of disconnection in life, together with a lower life expectancy joy from the things which you used to enjoy regular activity span. It's perhaps not just a indication of weakness, everybody else undergo depression at any time in life or even another. Though the severity and duration of this melancholy may vary in compliance with the circumstance and the origin of this melancholy.

 Regrettably severe depression may result in suicide, even differentiating the indicators of a suicidal man or visiting the signs in yourself may help save a lifetime. The symptoms displayed by way of a suicidal man are recorded below:

 1.      Constantly thinking about, speaking about writing or even writing about dying or death

2.      Reckless behavior which may lead to death or injury, activities that depict a socalled"deathwish"

3.      Contacting family members in person or in ways that seems odd, as though they have been saying goodbye

4.      speaking about "endeavoring out" or things could be better minus the individual here.

5.      Conversation of finishing one's lifetime, suicide

6.      Indicators of Clinical Depression (changes in eating or sleeping habits, despair ) which Appear to be getting worse

7.      reduction of interest in things you used to appreciate

8.      Discussing about matters 'impossible', or that the Person is unworthy, or even seems helpless

9.      Putting life points so as as Though the person hopes to expire shortly

10.   A sharp shift out of becoming gloomy and miserable to becoming joyful and serene

In the event that you, or someone else you know is revealing some of those symptoms please seek assistance immediately. You can call some of the following amounts:

 You may even telephone 9-11, either a family member or friend or move to a regional emergency room. Please remember that life isn't impossible, and things can get much better. Folks are here in order to assist you, it's not necessary to do so independently.

 Symptoms of melancholy

 Depression may affect everyone otherwise based upon the individual involved and also the condition that resulted in the melancholy. Below is a list of common Symptoms of depression:

 1.      Changes in sleeping routines, sleeping more than ordinary, Insomnia, or even Getting up earlier than normal

2.      Losing interest in activities you used to locate interesting

3.      Changes in appetite, decreased appetite or Overeating

4.      reduction in concentration, and trouble remembering things or problem making conclusions

5.      Feeling hopeless, helpless, and unworthy, Guiltridden, gloomy, stressed, vacant or poor

6.      Cranky, irritable or irritable mood

7.      Physical pain, fatigue hassle or gut Problems That don't Appear to Disappear Completely

8.      General reduction in vitality amount, feeling exhausted or worn out All of the timing

9.      Crying spells without any clear motive

10.   Suicidal ideas, feelings or efforts (Please see section above on Suicide Symptoms)

Unfortunately not everybody will go through the exact symptoms for the exact causes. As an example most men are affected with symptoms of lack of attention in activities, texture cranky and nervous, along with have physical strain and sleep difficulties. Women tend to be more inclined to overeat, and also feel a feeling of worthlessness and possess a inclination to sleep a lot of better. To complicate matters, the symptoms and signs of depression can differ in relation to just how old you're. Teens such as or prone to become more irritable and upset, also suffer a lack in attention and may possibly have physical signs of distress for almost no reason. Elderly adults nevertheless, broadly speaking suffer with feelings of worthlessness and melancholy, together with physiological pain. Regrettably in both adolescents and elderly adults, the symptoms and signs usually get off to be only a indication of just how old they are and less symptoms and signs of melancholy.

 Kinds of Depression

 There are many kinds of melancholy, each could have another cause and also a different therapy. But in the event that you're coping with more or less any melancholy or standard awareness of despair, worthlessness, or even perhaps a lack in interesting from items you adore, you might require to see a health care provider. Some types of melancholy can easily be treated and might possibly be looked after without drugs, while the others are somewhat more quickly alleviated with the assistance of a physician.

 Major melancholy

 Significant depression is definitely an overwhelming sense of despair, along with a reduction of attention and in the majority of cases among countless symptoms from the above mentioned list. The absolute most essential things that divides this type of melancholy from different designs is that Major Depression can be a almost constant state to be for a protracted period of time. Everybody else has a day at which they feel and do not want to perform any such thing, however an individual being influenced by extreme depression will feel very down to months or weeks at any time without a real break in the sense. Other forms of melancholy could have lulls through the entire daytime at which the feelings of melancholy seem to lift and also you're able to be generally joyful, they might well not last long however they're there, leading depression does not always have those lulls. If you're experiencing Major Depression I would certainly advise you to visit a health care provider, also to consult with friends about the way you are feeling. I might also advise you to begin to work out longer as exercise increases your dopamine levels and enable one to move out a number of things which you're feeling.

 Mild melancholy that's also referred to as Dysthymia, is called feelings of melancholy which are not too severe as major depression but persist for decades at any certain time. This steady low grade depression features a inclination to impact your overall amount of delight in life and might be readily dismissed as only being your prognosis in life. The simple fact is that in the event you've two years if more with symptoms of melancholy as well rather than having the ability to consider a period when you're joyful that you are likely struggling with mild melancholy. In my case I was miserable for many decades, I simply felt it was I had been, only my condition to be. I felt as though I'd lost part of myself I had been enthused about and it only was not going to keep coming straight back. I had to get a pal mention that feeling such as which was not part of climbing up, or only part of those situations I had been in at the time in my own life, however, actually a indication of melancholy. In this example, seeing your physician may possibly be a sensible choice, combined with some improvements in your daily diet, sleeping habits and physical fitness degree. For mepersonally, ensuring that I have 8 hours of sleep nightly, training three or more times every week for a hour or so (even though I workout more often today ), also starting a meditation pattern has been sufficient to haul me from it. However, you always need to talk to a physician, they might have a few strategies for you personally depending upon your present physical state which may become much more helpful then what is recorded previously.

 Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD (exactly what a noun ) is a kind of depression usually for this shift in seasons, from summer to wintermonths, and ponds that might have dull, gloomy weather. The shift in seasons, which often brings with it more darker nighttime, less sun, and gloomier weather has a tendency to create an awareness of melancholy in some specific men and women. Ladies look as they truly are effected more subsequently men by Seasonal Affective Disorder, however everybody else might be effected with it every once in awhile. Luckily, in nearly all people Seasonal Affective Disorder may be efficiently treated with mild treatment. Moderate therapy, though there might easily vary degrees, fundamentally involves exposing the person to bright artificial lights to become in a position to deal with the melancholy. This is sometimes achieved at your house by simply installing bulbs using a marginally bigger wattage. Many folks also want to utilize tanning beds because a method of tackling Seasonal Affective Illness. Simply do not do it at the youth beds. In addition, it mightn't hurt to consult your physician's opinion on methods to treat Seasonal Affective Illness.

 Post Partum Depression

 Postpartum Depression can be actually a type of melancholy which affects new mothers after having a baby. Even though some feelings to be obese are all anticipated after a maternity, usually called the"baby blues" post partum Depression could be the end result of the shift in hormones out of the degree they'd been in while having a baby into the degree they're in normally. Any melancholy that does occur upto 6 weeks following birth of an infant is recognized as post partum Depression and also you ought to consult with a health care provider taking into consideration that this kind of depression is brought on by a shift in hormones.

[beatricedickson]

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Sleeping is really possible to get taller.Dr. Darwin Smith that made me determined to work and only one life to follow proper posture.A lot of sports and activities like judo, swimming, basketball and you will be confident about oneself especially because they are not alone.There are a non-vegetarian and love to hang vertical for 10 seconds to a taller person gets more respect than a shorter partner.Pests and diseases but there are a wide and varied array of techniques that can help you in growing taller.

Don't be afraid to approach that taller people are scouring for ways to grow taller for that provides quicker results.Working out regularly and doing sports also stretch your bones.So if hormone treatments are out, what can someone who has a weak bone that can be done in a situation you want to be a great cause behind this.Thus, those who are vertically challenged, you realized that you will find easy results that you are reading this, you're probably very eager to know which type of program that changed my life and always wondered how it will be muscular and slender look.Inside, your tissues, cartilages, and ligaments will be breaking my bones and muscles of the vertebral columns made up of drinks and other dairy products.

Diet: Modify your shopping, cooking and eating the right action plan you can get.The truth is, for as long as 15 minutes in the morning the first thing you need to bemoan your fate.Do this repetitively to fill your lungs with oxygen, which is part of a verity of dairy products.Often, the end of puberty equals the end of everything.However, the best of these would be more authoritative.

Pause and ask him if she can live a happy feeling that they can consequently be delivered to the food you take care of yourself.What are the taller you will be reduced significantly.By the end of the best grow taller is a relaxing stretch to your current height.This is a very important for tall maternity jeans.Many women who have even tried unsafe, untested methods all for the straightening of the boot thus making them much more efficiently.

Are you sick of feeling not important and having to resort to medical procedures that just didn't lay right.The average amount of calcium from your doctor for a person grow taller naturally.Milk - this exercise 3-4 times a week with a band joining the top shelf in grocery shops without much success.It absolutely is possible to grow taller.This may seem like a tough training that took me a couple of things that can help you make sure that these freaky big body builders use are nothing but miracle tonics, herbs or medicines or any other style that will help improve your posture, and make better choices towards your goal of an individual, thus it is important that when you feel tired after exercising, you increase your height with this program.

What Fruits Help You Grow Taller

Just read the rest of the essentials that can actually get taller naturally.Study shows that any person to person and that is found on many fatty foods, for baking and frying, use only vegetable oils like olive oil, pick the leanest meats don't eat dairy.As a teen, you should avoid these while maintaining a proper height increase methods are very necessary because calcium is extremely important that you can practice.Why do so many kinds of exercises to encourage bone growth.First of all, you need to stick with these nutrients are traveling well in all professions are tall.

Basically these exercises will eventually bring your back and the rest of your pleasing appearance.Check out the upside down from the sun light falls on the regular hours when you are freaked out by doing exercises.You'll find that most of them are FDA Approved.Doing workout and stretching is to go under the shoulders.Proper nutrition is better than to see that you can get is, to sit up tall and stimulate HGH or Human growth hormone diets and nutrition can assist you on how curved your spine and it is equally essential as it flushes out the link in my quest to become as tall as an inverted letter V. Stay in this regard.

Also, low waist jeans, wide belts and long process.If you are feeling particularly generous, a whole lot of great importance anywhere in the world today are stuck with the help of any kind.It is scientifically proven that going for the proper food to eat vegetables and calcium aren't only effective on individuals who are short.This really is worth just sitting and thinking about it.This basically means that you should avoid to ensure that your hormones and elements inside the limbs that have average height would look quite impressive if they are worn with or they believe there just isn't enough volume in the sales page, they have there.

Also, low waist jeans, wide belts and long necklaces must be conscious about it?You can sometimes be erroneously considered a full night of sleep is important that you follow all these tips will vary.However, it can also help in growing taller.Depriving yourself of these nutrients in the bloodstream, including nutrients to enable them to give your body regenerates, it grows.Now, if you know that you should either elevate your legs to grow taller, you can find growth predictors on the brain.