#no this is NOT a death flag!! (okay MAYBE it is but plot demands it and i cannot deny what plot wants)

[paperbirb]

'let's meet at the witches' gathering' renjing flavored

[thegeekproblem]

Okay, hear me out, Bruce so wrapped in grief after Jason's death he stops eating, he hides in his bedroom for days without moving from his bed, and if he does leave is only to the cave, he stops being batman and when he does go out like batman he's violent and suicidal (an exaggerated version of canon).

Tim notices this and like canon goes to search Dick first to ask him to be robin again. Dick's not sure about it and goes to the manor and finds Bruce completely dissociated from reality in his bed and it worries him. He stays a couple of days patrolling the city as nightwing but it doesn't get better, Bruce has awful nightmares every night and even Alfred is worried.

Alfred and Dick are so worried that they search for an alternative: erase Jason's existence from Bruce's memory. They contact the JL and the JL is so worried about batman that they agree to do it. Clark is the only one that doesn't think it's right and refuses at the beginning until Dick begs him to do it because he's afraid of loosing another parent.

So, Dick and Alfred pick every single picture of Jason, his books, all of the memories from the manor, and seal Jason's room. It helps that Jason was buried beside her bio mum in Gotham cemetery and not in the family plot on the manor grounds. They erase every single case Jason worked on from the batcomputer, every file is put under the best security, his robin suit (different from Dick's) is put under lock, every newspaper article is archived, and it's easy to do this because Bruce hasn't left his bedroom in days.

Dick takes Martian Manhunter to Bruce and one look at the both of them Bruce knows. Bruce begs them to not do it, to please let him keep his son at least in his memories. Dick feels guilty, he's never seen his father beg. Alfred doesn't say anything, he can't watch his own son die. It's no use, they erase Bruce's memories and alter some others, they replace the second robin with nightwing in his mind to not make Bruce suspicious because he's not the World's Greatest Detective for nothing and erasing 4 years from his memory will make red flags pop.

The next day Bruce is back to normal.

Tim thinks it weird and goes looking for Dick again demanding to know what he did. Dick tells him and Tim understands but he says he wants to be kept in the known or he will tell Bruce. Dick thinks Tim has spunk and likes him so he agrees. Later, Dick realizes about Tim's living situation and tells Bruce which leads him to be adopted.

Years pass and then a new figure appears in Gotham, a rogue that seems to predict Bruce's every move: The Red Hood.

A/N: i don't know if in this au tim becomes robin, maybe he does but maybe not? because there's no grief that's killing bruce or anything like that. i was watching the new anime of fruits basket because i'd only read the manga back in the day and this came to my mind like a fucking truck ready to crush me into tiny pieces (i also remembered a similar plot in tvd, i think it was season 6? with elena making herself forget damon). the image of bruce crying and begging not to forget jason killed me. just imagine bruce not understanding why the library in the manor makes him sad, or why he seems to look out for a teenager in the mansion when dick hasn't lived with him for a while, or waking up from a nightmare he can't remember crying and feeling desolate and wondering why.

[thatsharklovingwoman]

A CHECKERED FLAG AND BURNING IRON - Chapter One (2.1k)

~ The tale of a Final Girl and life after her starring role, oh, and Gojo’s there too. But for how long will his hand be able to hold on to Her's when shes forever changed from who he knew, and can he keep up?

~ A Final Girl/Slasher tale, American College AU, Street Racer!Gojo X Outcast/Final Girl!Reader

~ Warnings: Horror/Slasher movie themes and subjects, PTSD, mentions of sexual activity, non-con, kidnapping, bullying, blood, fighting/physical injury

~ Author’s Declaration: The concept of Street Racer! Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, and Ryomen Sukuna are borrowed with permission from @minouyujis POST . Also, I have never been to American college and never written horror, so, please forgive me if this is a bit “trope/movie” heavy. This is mostly me writing a love letter/write poetry to my love of horror movies and psychological elements of fiction. Yes, there is a romance plot in this... somewhere... I’m sure you’ll find it. I’m here to have fun and hope you join me on this journey, cause Spooky Season is all year round for me! (And many of the JJK characters ages are played around with to suit the story, I will try to reference their ages or School level/grade) . Slow burn for the first few chapters, please bare with me while I lay the foundations of this spooky house.

CHAPTER ONE – (word count: 2.1K)

You couldn’t stop the shaking of your limbs, your fingers ached as they gripped the foil sheet over your shoulders. Was it cold? Too hot? Your skin and what remains of your clothes are sticky and damp. Your vision blurry and sounds around both too loud and impossible to decipher. You couldn’t focus on the paramedic looking you over and trying to check your vitals and mental capability. All the faces around you twist and fade into beiges, tans, and browns. Blending into their own skins and the forest dark behind you all.

But what you could see clearly, what you could not tear you vision away from, was the part of the forest you came from. A tunnel of focus and burning inside your lungs. Still, it called back to you to return. The sharpness of adrenaline still pounding in your mind, your arms, your legs, and feet. Run. Run? Where?! It doesn’t matter! Just move! HE’s still out there! HE can see you! HE can catch you! You can’t rest! HE’s going to get you again and NEVER let you go! You know what happened to the others! Run away and...!

BANG, BANG, BANG! Shots from a gun, maybe more, echo and sing alongside the strong and fierce barks of dogs, shouting from men you can’t make out. All bringing you back down to a single point. Here, sitting in the back of an ambulance, you didn’t even notice being brought into the all too bright and white cage. The bed beneath you soft as the paramedic lays a hand ever so gently on your shoulder to encourage you back down into the bed. Eyes wide on their hand, but you followed. Still unsure of where you are and what is happening you let your body win. Burning muscles and aching bones crying out for rest, for stillness, for comfort. As you look up above you, tears you though you could no longer cry flow through. “It's all over now, Kid, you’re okay” is the only thing you finally recognize before your mind gives into the demands of your body. You cry and gasp for air. You don’t know when you had fallen to slumber, but it wasn’t a slumber of your own. It was cold and bitter on your tongue, but you had to let it answer to the call of your body. You were no longer in HIS grasp. It’s safe now. It’s okay now. You’re safe now. You can go home now...

- Two Weeks Earlier -

Your eyes burned and begged for the sweet relief of moisture, your back and rear begged for anything but this seated position in the old thin chair, and your brain begged for death. If this assignment wasn’t going to be the death of you, you’d be surprised and by a lottery ticket. It’s May of your second year of college, you’ve recently turned 20, and there isn’t much of this semester left to go. But three more assignments stand in your way, including this one... If you have to look at one more damned article about how a Human Resources department works (or doesn’t work?), you’re going to go insane. You’ve written more today than you expected to, you had a short class earlier that day about Marketing in the digital age, and nothing social planned for the daytime.

So, you opened your window, put on a lo-fi playlist for studying (You know the one, dear Reader), and forgot about your cup of tea hours ago. At least your sugary iced coffee wasn't forgotten and it watched you work so hard on your assignment, from its corner on the desk. Second hand, scratches and chipped clear coat. You always kept saying you would sand it and recoat it, promised it even, as this desk has become your solo dorm room’s staple resident (along with your bed, of course). For study, gaming, drawing, crying, dining, painting, make-up application on rare occasions, and a piece of home. Your family home was an hour’s drive away, just far enough from the college city of your state to be safe from too many stressed out, hormone fueled, caffeine addicted young “adults”. But it was still a big enough city to have plenty of opportunity for you, if you chose to settle there one day.

But you had a goal with your childhood friend, Kokichi Muta (You knew his nickname and gamertag most: Mechamaru). He was a tech prodigy, with dreams to join the likes of Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Elon Musk. He craved discovery and development, and he was damn good at it. But such things take time and money. So, with extensive research over the past couple of years from his tech internship right out of High School, he decided the best steps to build up, would be to grow within a successful company, and then start his own cyber security business. This would, hopefully, lay the foundation for a bigger business that would allow him to then grow and pay for what he really craved, research and development of the next big tech break throughs.

You two had always been the odd ones out, which is why you stuck together. You’d seen him grow and build the most amazing things. The two of you working together to win robotics competitions, with him designing and building, and you offering odd points of view that lead him to great inspirations. Which is why he let you do the talking, promoting, scouting for said competitions and contests, and what colours to decorate his creations with. Even though he always hated your design choices. Your argument was to help stand out and adding to the performance. Maybe that’s why your contact name (and emoji) in all his gear is “Clown”. All with love of course. The recognition and success in your team up lead to you both receiving scholarships. Him more than you. So far, he had yet to claim his prize. Stating his impatience for such “useless, wasted time”. He dove in head first, while you weren’t sure where to go. You took up a good job at an electronics retailer for a few years to find yourself out a little. When Kokichi finally had a dream and plans, and asked you to once again be his voice and right-hand man, you got right into it.

You knew learning Business Administration would not suit your style, but it was a goal when you didn’t have one. And your parents agreed that if Kokichi didn’t quite make it like you two were planning, it was a financially wise career path. Ew. But it made them happy so they would support you and Kokichi promised he’d let you dress however you wanted, and would build you up to have minions to dress proper and do your dark bidding for you, unless there was an important business meeting with normal (read: boring, old, rude) business men that you would have to attend. All this came back to your mind as you were leaning back in your chair and looking at the photo on the wall of you two from one of your high school science fair wins.

A startling chime to your left brought you back down from the clouds and back into that old worn chair. Its contact name of “Dumbass #1” brought a frown to your mouth.

“What do you want, asshole?” you asked to your room. You didn’t want to read the text, but your Mom was always a “It could be important” kind of person and it rubbed off on you.

‘Asshole #1: Hey, ding-dong, try to look nice for once tonight’

You still don’t know how Suguru Geto got your number, you boyfriend swears it wasn’t him, said he wanted you all to himself. For someone who has declared his apparent ‘love’ for you, Satoru Gojo was blind to the way his friends talked to you. Then again, you’ve always hesitated to show him the text messages, fearful it might make you look like a nagging and whiney girlfriend. Hell, it blows your mind how you two are even together.

Satoru Gojo, Junior year of Business Management, courses designed for future CEOs. His family came from old money in finance and big bank business and he was expected to follow the family tradition. He only agreed to finally go to college and follow his Father’s expectations when he was threatened to be cut off. Only a couple of years older than you, but quite the handful of a man child. How he passed with his lack of focus to his education and focus on his number one hobby, you’ll never know.

Ah yes, His first love, cars. Fast cars. Street racing kept him sane and was his only spiritual calling. His garage was filled with five high end machines. Lovingly cared for and somehow, never taken of caught by the cops. You know he’s doing shady shit to keep out of trouble, while also committing trouble. Not a circus you want to get involved in, he can have that to himself.

You’re not sure why he took notice of you late last year, or why he pursued you. You kept to yourself and a select few, didn’t stand out too much, kept tidy, didn’t both much with too many parties or got involved in gossip. You were polite and kind to your class mates, and no one particularly disliked you. You were a bit of a background/filler character. And that suited you, helped keep you focused and relaxed, stress causes early wrinkles and high blood pressure. You’d rather keep those things for your 40’s. Maybe that’s why he took interest. He claims you’re pretty, calm, and keep up with his humour and childish ways. Things he liked about you. But he also uses you to fuel his need for affection and attention too. Stern and cold upbringing and all. So far, you’re the longest relationship he’s ever had. You rejected his advances and requests for a date three times before you gave him a shot. You knew he was a playboy before meeting him. A few classmates would swoon between classes if they passed him, and sing his praises from time to time. Usual popular King of school things you did not want to mess with.

Mind you, he’ll still flirt and ogle at women, and quietly at some men, even when you’re with him. He’ll turn to you like its nothing and demand your focus. You hated it at first, but now it's just like a mild burn to your pride and self-confidence. From time to time, behind closed doors, he’ll apologise lightly. But it's better than when you first met him. Early on you were shy to voice your concerns, but you too got better with putting your foot down. In public, he’ll keep his hand on your back, or waist, or in your hand. He's given quite a bit of lip to those who have tried to get your attention when you’re out. But that little bit of possessiveness helps reassure yourself that he really does only want you. And here you are, after sorting out a light dinner for yourself you returned to your dorm to get ready for a long night out. You had early classes the next day and wanted to sleep, but Gojo was racing tonight and would frequently drag you with him. Dressing up like Gojo’s usual (previous) type of girl was not your thing. Clubbing girls and racing groupies are not your kind of friends or circles.

You’d at least wear a pair of short black heals, and that slimming biker style jacket Gojo bought you the other month. Gave yourself a bit of a Sandy from ‘Grease’ vibes... Oh gawd, you just realised how close you and Gojo are to Danny and Sandy from ‘Grease’. You don’t know if you should laugh or cry in embarrassment. Another chime from your phone, followed by two more in rapid succession, you know only two people who text in fast short bursts.

‘The Boi: Pumpkin! My Sweetheart!!! : D’

‘The Boi: Your shining Prince arrives soon for his fair maiden!!’

‘The Boi: I missed you and I expect kisses TODAY WAS TOO HARD! I HATE NUMBERS’

‘The Boi: Pumpkin? Where are my replies of your never-ending love for me?’

‘You: You better not text and drive, idiot. You can get your attention when you show up <3 I did miss you too’

Another night of racing is going to be killer on your stomach and nervous system, but it was something special he didn’t share with many others. He may have had quite a few women in his car before you, but you’ve been in ALL of his cars and even have driven a few. A light amount of make-up to compliment your eyes, and a deep breath to brace yourself for the bullshit of Gojo’s jealous fan-girls and rude ‘Friends’. Another night in your slice of college life

[crazyw3irdo]

☀️🦚🏳️‍⚧️

happy pride beloved mutual <3

happy pride to you too!!!! :3

☀️ - Is there anyone who helped you accept that you were queer? If so, who?

i’ve been lucky enough that even tho i grew up in a conservative rural christian area that i’ve just like. known a lot of queer people. pretty sure i’ve told this story before but the first trans person i ever knew transitioned when i was in elementary or middle school and i just. legitimately thought i had their name wrong the whole time. no one explained it to me until i realized a couple years later. and then you have my mom ( @theaccidentallibrarian ) who’s bi, her best friend is pan, one of her former coworkers is gay, for a long time my neighbors were a gay couple, and in middle school one of my friends came out as bi (hi @sparingiscaring ) and another as ace so i’ve just been lucky in that it’s just always been normal. hell, i thought everyone was bi growing up. i’m not even mspec myself i just figured when i got older i’d be attracted to girls eventually.

🏳️‍⚧️ - What Flag do you think has the best color scheme?

of like, the more “common” labels the trans, nonbinary, and pan flags are very good but. maybe i’m biased but dude look at the toric flag this is so pretty

🦚 - Are there any queer books/shows/etc. that you would suggest?

okay i’m into so many things i’m putting this under a read more

ok disclaimer these are mostly gonna be cartoons/anime/webcomics but man is there a lot. some of these are already tumblr famous but idc

our flag means death - tv show - a romcom between blackbeard and stede bonnet that just got renewed for season two babyyyy!! plus multiple queer background romances too!! many screen kisses between two men!! a nonbinary character that has a romantic interest and whose story doesn’t revolve around them being nonbinary!! one side character has 20 husbands (or. 18 now.) and she loves them all. it’s not even a “this is a world where homophobia doesn’t exist” wish fulfillment thing it’s a “anyone whose homophobic is explicitly framed as in the wrong and is punished for it” wish fulfillment and i love it

heartstopper - tv show/comic - honestly i didn’t buy into the hype and only just started reading the comic and oh my god it’s so good. a heartfelt coming of age between a gay boy whose been outed against his will in the past and a boy who had never questioned his sexuality before and just. idk it’s so nice to see a coming of age romcom but gay

yuri on ice - anime - a sports anime for non-sports anime fans. an ice skater returns home after losing in a competition and while he’s wallowing in his own sadness his idol shows up to his house demanding to be his coach. beautifully animated and such a good story of yuri trying his best to make viktor proud. they never explicitly say they’re dating, but they do exchange rings in a church and they kiss so like,,

what we do in the shadows - tv show - the three main vampires are all into boys and girls (actually thinking on it now i can’t recall if nadja has mentioned being with girls before? but nandor and lazlo definitely are into both) and it is a bit more of casual representation instead of driving the plot, but also,, pretty sure nandor and guillermo will be getting together in season four,,, (also s4 spoilers: pretty sure it’s been leaked that guillermo will get a boyfriend in s4 too, at least for a bit)

ouran high school host club - anime - okay. not explicitly trans but like. every transmasc i’ve ever met has related to haruhi on some level. also haruhi is my go to example when i explain my own label of cassgender since it’s not a common term and just. even without the trans coding it’s hilarious

zombieland saga - anime - more casual representation! a hilarious idol anime in which all the idols are zombies. and one of the zombies is explicitly trans! she was also shown in australian parliament because of this image.

undertale/deltarune & adventure time & she-ra: pop - i’m just assuming tumblr users know what these are

okay i’d done a bunch of descriptions for these but i lost my draft so just. here’s a list of webtoons from most to least representation. …that sounds wrong but by that i mean from main characters being queer to just some side characters

main characters: muted, fluidium, castle swimmer, blades of furry, high class homos, the prince of southland, lovebot, i want to be a cute anime girl, yuna & kawachan

not main characters: luff, love me knot, suitor armor, acception, boyfriend of the dead, gourmet hound

[seekeroftruthpromestein]

Welp. Paradox time.It’s the Finale.

Yikes. Last campground....

That doesn’t bode well...

Here they are. All my friends. I’ve traveled with them for this long. We’re near the end of the game. Who knows what will happen... 

Promestein. You’ve been a very interesting character to see through this game. Seeing you young kind of shows you were always a fucked up kid. But, you have a good heart. And you now have a found family. You’re no longer a lone wolf salvaging through a dark world. You have us. And we’re happy to have you and alllow you to examine this bright new world.

Nuruko. I sadly didn’t get to know you too well and I’ll be sure to remedy that next game. But you were an interesting little thing. 

I wouldn’t have pegged you as a main character honestly but hey. I’m glad your here. You were another person that I’ll have to be sure to bring next time because I feel you probably have lots of interesting insight. 

Pope. You are DEF going to be in my next group. You were one of the most exciting twists i’ve ever seen and I am happy you were here. I am still angry for no sex scene. 

Hilde. Once again, another “I didn’t bring around enough” but you hey. Happy to have you.

These two were my favorite running joke. The not so wise senpai and the student. 

Not sure why YOU are here but you WERE the first boss of the game. So. Yeah. Welcome.

And you were the first recruited monster... I think.

This little exchange reminds me. Granberia was NOT at ALL a regular character in this entire exchange. Hardly any of the knights showed their faces. Alma I think was the most regular. 

The spirits play little purpose as well. In the orginal trilogy they were SUPER important as they were a constant ability you had to keep on or die.  Here. They’re not weak, they’re decent buffs.  But I rarely use them... I did use them actually in the battle against Blalice. Alice actually is a Spirit Summoner because I felt it was rather poetic all things considered. 

Wait are you a noble? Maybe you should put on pants. And a shirt. But okay. Vanilla! The most useful member that never see’s battle. She was BRIEFLY drafted in Black Alice when all of the other allies died but yeah. She has been a rock this entire time. Constantly producing MP for the party.  

I admit I never had a use for her. She mostly stayed around because she had the most Dialog from things. 

And ah. The MVP herself. Okay second MVP but we’ll get to her soon. Superb support. Valuable as hell. Sadly a lot of Angels have Auto-hit attacks. But I would have lost without her many times. 

I’m trying to do the whole sentimental thing but yeah. Don’t have a lot to say. Maybe one of these days I’ll have just the four of them on a team. 

I’m just WAITING for you to betray me. But it’s a bit late and you’re no longer important in the slightest so. 

Ah speak of the devil. Now. Time for the main course. 

Traveling with Black Alice has been a really facinating experience. She’s a lot of fun. If you know, a bit evil. It’s interesting that she played the Alice. Pretending to be something she’s not. It makes me wonder if it’s a tradition? I wonder if this experience will make her nicer. 

Ah Sonya. You sadly have a LOT of death flags... It was interesting the idea of Luka having a human friend, but from a writing perspective it makes sense as she suddenly got the tropes that were associated with Alice in the first game. 

Not a good sign.

This does bring a point though. Sonya I dropped out of the party for not being too useful. A healer in a game where healing is incredibly easy. And she didn’t exactly have a whole lot... Actually I could have turned her into a vampire funny enough. And a worm Villager. But yeah, besides that. She didn’t have a whole lot. I’m probably gonna try using her more in my Ilias file as I want to RP it as more of a Human/Angel Centric idea. The only overlap being Prom really. 

And Alice. I really wish there was more to you but I get it. The romance between Luka and her just isn’t  a focal point. Despite the fact that her and Luka’s children are in fact facing off. I kind of wish that was addressed more. 

And her mother... There’s actually a LOT of plot threads still not addressed. 

Was hoping for Elemental Giga. This would be a game where it could be theoretically useful though. With all the abilities and such.

Ilias prayer music in the background.

Now we have Opera music... Place has changed.

Less then steller. 

You bitch.

You know what. Fuck you. YOU are FOURTH! 

Alright gotta act quickly. Can’t... wait

WHAT??

SHE SAID IT

I’m not sure if gleefully killing an entire town counts. 

Never a nice thing to learn.

“Then the fanfiction writers started... There’s this ONE bitch. She runs a Promestein blog and if you LISTENED to the drivel she writes. She made up this nonsense with male monsters for drama’s sake”

“And don’t get me started on the Luka Situation. There were like 3 at one point.”

Wait... How many others from other worlds??

...Wait When??? I can go over level 60 now?? Must be when I updated.. Huh. Okay. Wish I did this earlier.

Too many... oh

See. I’m doing an RP with La Croix that takes place using this concept. But something both of us realized is that Luka actually very rarely DIED in most of his endings. Not right away. Many of them used him as a pleasure slave. Or married him. Or he just gave up adventuring. Some like the angels even used him for 1000′s of years. So. Theoretically. He would have had to live his entire life. Die of natural causes. And then wake up back at a fight he had years ago. 

But here it just says failed. 

Oh.... Is this...Which Ilias?

I forgot... You’re... the Real ilias. so you have been trying your best to keep things from going to shit huh?

Oops.

Yikes... So yeah. Makes sense. Fuck that Lukia (Which was us)

The...Remina labs??

Oh hey. It that bitch.

Yes Little Prom. Yes. Soon. You will meet. Yourself.

A better part of the whole. I remember there being an Angel/Monster hybrid who says she couldn’t  combine her dark and holy energy. This is probably why.

I wonder if this is a joke of some kind revolving around smoking becoming less allowed in Japan.

And they summoned.... Black..Alice. Is that how she was alive in the original Trilogy??

Oh no... This..... Is.... Original Trilogy Black Alice.

As creepy music plays. I am reminded. The White Rabbit is a universal Constant. Where was she then in the original Trilogy? Simple. She was here. Right here. In Black Alice... the drug created by Promestein. The fusion of Holy and Dark.

Those poor Scientist.

That Casualty of it.

Oh. Dear. Lord.

“So you finished the art for that Hentai game right?” “HENTAI GAME?? I thought we were making Bloodborne.”

That is terrifying. 

Oh dear lord.

Angels. Demons. Both are at her demand.

YOU SAID SHE COULD NOT REACH US.

Of course. Time Succubi from aother wordl

That. Is terrifying.

Yup. Zero.

She’s dying as the Villain again? The Pyrrha. 

Wait. What?

So... You.. Were killing them to.. Bring them into YOUR world??? So. They’re alive? 

So they’re killing people... to bring them into another?  This reminds me of a little bit of a Webcomic called Order of the Stick. Where the gods wondered briefly if they should destroy the world, in order to save the souls. Because the main monster, was a giant horrifying sould devouring creature.  So if the gods destroyed the world, they could save many from inhiliation, and bring them into the after life.  This begs a lot of question about after lives and existance beyond death and whether or not it truly is a death. 

Bloodying her hands so her daughter doesn’t have to.

Yeah I would like to know that as well.

I would like to know actually.

Wait why are you wearing clothes now?

I forgot you were a person.  Wait. So these are from another universe.... One where Ilias won...And therefor Eden got to wear clothes. 

The old Monster and Angel War, Fought in the foreground of the world we stand.

And the death flags come home to roost. 

Was she... one the entire time?

Or did she become one now?

Mhm. This looks familiar.

And the music begins. The  battle wasn’t too hard. But...

This isn’t good.

Not grand.

This battle music is though. ♪♫

Oh you bitch.

We beat both of them... or...

We did not.

That’s... really really not good.

...what?

HUH???

UMMM????

SHES A WHATR??

She’s the element of chaos....   Does that mean there’s a HOly and Dark Spirit too?

Fine. I’ll train you.

...What?

Oh.... shit.... Dad... Killed Alice’s Mom.

And. That. Is the end.... Welp. I guess we have to do the Ilias Route next.

[hughiecampbelle]

Blood Sport (Bonnie Gold Oneshot)

Character/s: Bonnie

Word Count: 1,249

Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @myriadimagines @lilyswritings @encounterthepast @death-of-a-mermaid @lotsoffandomimagines @woahitslucyylu @obsessedunicorn24​ @thedarkqueenofavalon​ @fangirlsarah16​

A/N: So, I don’t actually write for Bonnie in general as a character, but he was the only character I could come up with a relative idea to write for :) Burnout has not been kind to ya gurl. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more insecure about my fics and ideas and plots, but I am happy to report I really like this! Dare I say proud? Ahh I say it, I’m really proud!!! It turned out better than I expected, especially after a week of agonizing over every little word I wrote. I love how this turned out, I’m incredibly proud of the outcome, and I think it’s a wonderful way to come back from being so frustrated and exhausted from writing! I hope you like it as much as I do! Feedback is always appreciated! 💜💖💜

FIC MASTERLIST PART ONE. / PART TWO.

WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?

A boy who spoke in fists, in split knuckles and bloody noses. His smiles, though bright, contagious, endearing, were often glazed in red, iron on his breath, in his words and wishes. Bruises too beautiful to hurt, too delicate to rupture, staining, painting his skin. Not a piece of him safe, not a piece of him untouched. He was a broken figurine, put back together over and over again only to be knocked off a ledge, dropped, discarded, left to shatter, scatter. There was a difference though. Watching a figurine crack, shed a tear, smile through the pain, that was bearable. Watching him in the ring, dueling, dancing, surviving, spitting his own teeth at his feet, his eyes rolling in the back of his head, it was unbearable. You felt every sting, every blow, flinching with every move, your cries hidden beneath the jeers and quips at the boys fighting. They weren't people anymore, but mindless entertainment, a show to profit from, just another casualty in the ring. By the end of the match your head was pounding, pulsing with the cheers of the crowd.

The air came alive in a place like this. It drew people in with its animalistic ways, reverting back to predator and prey, the pack mentality. Screaming, shouting, loosening their ties, their top buttons, relaxing in a place that valued the lack of civilization, forgetting that their words had power. You weren't sure what you'd been doing there in the first place. The very idea repulsed you. Throwing their paychecks away, the same paper and coins that put food on their families tables, betting on the least lethargic looking body. Baby faced boys, too hungry for power, for a pedestal, anything to bring them up in the world. You found an empty place in the back, farthest away from the scene, striking up a conversation with a dark eyed boy, paler than the full moon. He'd watch how you'd grimaced, shielding your eyes, turning away, praying that the bell would ring, that this would all be over soon. But it wasn't. He knew by the looks of the fighters, the pressure they were under, one of them would have to die before they waved their white flag.

He urged you outside, following along, questioning why you were there if you knew what was going to happen. Maybe it was a twisted sense of curiosity, a wonder you'd never hush unless you saw it, felt it or yourself. Maybe it was a lack of understanding, needing to know the appeal before you could write it off, ignore it until it lost its charm. He listened carefully, nodding along, taking your words in with every inhale. He didn't defend like so many others had, arguing with your view, willing you to see it in another light. This boy, with his quiet, understanding demeanor, was open to your ideas, picking apart your thoughts, wanting to see everything inside them. You wanted to know what he was doing there, why he decided to stray, to talk, instead of join in on all the fun, but the bell interrupted you, an older man too, calling for him. He left you with a wink and a promise: he'd be here tomorrow night too, if you wanted to see him again. A voice he followed, slipping into the mass as if he'd never even left, the man repeating one name: Bonnie.

You never knew he was one of them, a boy tied to the rope in a burning ring. You saw him night after night, always in the dark, always at the same time. It was his only way of hiding the evidence. He fought in the light, the daytime, the sun streaming across his bare back, rays across his thin shoulders, holding him up when he threatened to fall. Every time he stepped up, his father's words clearest of all, urging him to win, to kill, he couldn't stop thinking about what you said. Was this all a kind of carnage? Tame enough for the masses, but only for those with the acquired taste for blood? It didn't stop him. He loved what he did, he put everything into it, but it made him question the sport more than he ever expected. He didn't want to tell you what he did when the sun came up. He couldn't bear the thought of you seeing him differently, judging him, putting him in the same category as the rest of them. He liked the person you made him, a boy of stars, of quiet, contemplative conversation and unbroken promises. Nights full of flirting, of an easy kind of love that felt as natural to him as breathing. Your days full, busy, asking too much, demanding even more, expecting you too change too conform, but the night was just for the two of you. It was the best part of his day, the thing that kept him going.

Bonnie didn't want to spoil what you had together.

You weren't mad. You couldn't be. You'd caught on naturally. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, no matter how many stories he could string together, your eyes were attentive. Sometimes he walked with a limp, or winced when you held his hand, his knuckles broken. Some night too dizzy, too tired to stand, taking ease in the dirt and rocks despite the discomfort. The night he told you his eye was swollen shut, screaming in a dark purple tone. He realized nothing from a mundane life could explain this. He had to come clean. You assured him, no matter what, nothing would ever change the way you felt about him. You didn't like it, you didn't understand it, but you would never, ever make him choose between his dreams and you. It would be unfair, it would be manipulative, none of which you were willing to resort to. Bonnie, your golden boy, thanked you, laughing, relieved, putting up with the pain in his jaw to kiss you. You made one condition though, that the next fight he was in you'd get to see. He was hesitant, fearful. There was a difference between describing it and living it. But he agreed, wanting no more secrets between you.

That fight, the anticipation, the raw reality of what was about to happen, it got to you. It made your chest tighten, your hands shake, your thoughts go to the darkest of places. He found you right before, his shorts on, gloves around his hands. You couldn't grab his hands the way you did, rubbing his fingers, making sure he was really there, really that close. Bonnie watched your own worries gnaw at you, eat you alive. He had to do something to reassure you, even in the ring, that he would be okay. Like that fist night, he made a promise with a wink. If he went down, he'd look to you, show you that he was alright. Ignore the blood, ignore the cuts and bumps and wounds. If he winked, he was okay. From then on, that's what he did. No matter how many you attended for him, excited to see him grow as a boxer, the atmosphere still got to you. You still winced, you yelped and screamed at the thud of his body going down, crying out when his eyes closed, but he always pulled himself together, knowing exactly where you were in the crowd. No matter what, he never broke his promise.

[choices-and-voices]

hi sorry if this has already been asked somewhere but im was wondering if you had any tips on how to get the best experience without having to pay ?

Hi there! Don’t worry, this question hasn’t been asked before, and I am honestly super flattered that you value my opinion enough to ask it ☺️ I’m not sure how helpful my tips will be because I don’t exactly consider myself an expert in this, but here are some things that came to mind! I’ve gone into quite a bit of detail, but if you want a quicker overview, just stick to the bold headings. Also, if any of the people reading this have good tips of their own, please lmk! I’m always learning new things about how to do this too 💕

1. This one’s a bit obvious, but still – take the opportunities that the game gives you to earn free diamonds. That means watching the bonus ads every day (5 diamonds/day), playing through chapters as often as you can (including replaying old books if there are no new releases – 2 diamonds/chapter), and watching ads at the end of book chapters for an extra diamond. Obviously, all this is a bit of a balancing act – you want to be playing Choices often enough to build up your diamonds, but not so often that it takes over your life and makes you feel frustrated, because what’s the point of it if it’s not fun anymore, y’know? So I’ve always been careful not to overdo it. Even if all you do is watch the bonus ads every day, that’s 35 diamonds/week – basically, one big diamond scene a week – which is honestly not too shabby.

2. At any one time, only play 1-2 books that you’re really invested in, and try to supplement that with another 2-3 books that you’re not really invested in or are replaying just for diamonds. As tempting as it can be to rush through every good-looking book in the app all at once, that just leads to a situation where a) you’re trying to divide your free keys between waaay too many releases, and b) there are so many demands on you for diamonds, you never get to consistently spend them on anything. So I personally think it’s best to only read a couple of good books at once, and instead of marathoning them, break them up with chapters from less-good books – this builds up your diamond stash for spending on the good books. Which leads into my next point:

3. Don’t zip through books too fast – even if most of the chapters are already released, spreading them out helps you earn more diamonds for them in the meantime. I’m really lucky to have been playing Choices for so long that almost all the books were presented to me in weekly release format – if I downloaded the app for the first time today, and saw all the fully-released books on there, I feel like I would be way too overwhelmed to play. So I reckon that, even if a book isn’t technically a weekly release for you, make it a weekly release! You might decide to play all the books you’re really invested in on a particular day when you have more free time – say, a Sunday. Then, you have Monday-Saturday every week to earn diamonds for those books, and something to look forward to at the end of it all. As for what you do with those diamonds:

4. Be smart about what you spend diamonds on. There are a couple of different components to this tip – it involves things like a) figuring out which types of purchases are worth diamonds in general, b) figuring out which types of purchases you want to prioritise in certain books, and c) planning ahead before you start playing a book chapter about where you might want to spend diamonds. To address each of those things one-by-one:

a) Figure out which types of purchases are worth diamonds in general. Off the top of my head, there are 6 main types of diamond purchases in Choices: ‘friendly’ scenes with LIs (12-25 diamonds), ‘steamy’ scenes with LIs (25-30 diamonds), scenes with your whole friendship group, collectible items (e.g. the tapestry pieces in Bloodbound, the clues in Veil of Secrets, etc.), outfits, and pets. Your mileage may vary a lot on which of these are most important to you, so take my opinions with a grain of salt. But my general advice would be to i) prioritise group scenes above LI scenes, ii) prioritise ‘friendly’ LI scenes above ‘steamy’ LI scenes, iii) avoid collectibles, and iv) go for outfits and pets only if you really like the look of them. This advice is based on the fact that, firstly, I think you get a better experience of immersion in a book if you know a bit about all the characters around MC, rather than just about one LI; secondly, ‘friendly’ LI scenes tend to tell you more about the LI than ‘steamy’ scenes, which are often 80-90% copied-and-pasted erotica despite being more expensive; thirdly, collectibles are a massive drain on diamond stores, and almost always unlock quite short, generic scenes that it’s easy to find on Tumblr or YouTube; and fourthly, both outfits and pets don’t do much except appear in the story at key moments, which can be a really nice touch but is still only needed in moderation. Of course, there are exceptions to these rules, and you might find that those exceptions are sometimes book-specific. Which leads me to Part B of this point:

b) Figure out which types of purchases you want to prioritise in certain books. It’s all well and good for me to say that group scenes are usually better than LI scenes, but when I’m playing a book with an amazing LI but a pretty meh supporting cast (*cough cough* Myra Dixon carries Baby Bump on her shoulders *cough cough*), I obviously may need to adjust my spending habits slightly. Moreover, by focusing all your diamond spending on just one main thing per book – like Myra’s romance in Baby Bump, or the party’s side-quests in Blades of Light and Shadow, or the posse in Queen B ��� I think you end up with a much better playing experience, because you feel like you’re seeing at least one facet of the story in-depth instead of getting a patchy surface view of lots of different facets. For the most part, the purchases you prioritise in a book can mostly depend on personal taste, but there are a few books where some background knowledge might be helpful in the decision. Four things that I think are worth flagging are that i) the ‘competition books’ (America’s Most Eligible, Queen B, Hot Couture) do require regular outfit purchases to win, although winning isn’t that much better an experience than being runner-up; ii) Veil of Secrets and Nightbound are two books where it’s worth saving 30-35 diamonds for the final chapter, because your MC is forced to leave the small-town setting if you don’t; iii) Across the Void is a book that frequently invites you to spend diamonds to save characters’ lives, but their death arcs are honestly much better-written and more sensible than their survival arcs; and iv) the It Lives series is the only one where characters can die due to an accumulation of choices you make throughout the story, so maybe it’s worth keeping some diamonds in reserve for that one. Which just leaves us with one more sub-point:

c) Plan ahead before you start playing a book chapter about where you might want to spend diamonds. I want to take this opportunity to thank whichever people in the fandom maintain the Choices wiki, because oh my gosh, they are lifesavers. For the last year or so, my response whenever a new Choices chapter is released has been to wait a few hours, Google ‘[book name] choices’, open the wiki result, and skim through to check how many diamond choices are available & how much they cost. Because all the wiki includes are the possible responses to every choice presented – it doesn’t even state the wording of the choice itself – this is a relatively spoiler-free technique that helps a lot with big picture planning. For example, you might decide not to buy an early group scene because there’s a nicer-sounding LI scene later on, and come to think of it, you should replay a few more chapters of another book first to save up the diamonds for that scene. If you don’t mind encountering just a few more spoilers before you play the chapter, you can also scout out its diamond scenes in more detail by searching the relevant book or character tags on Tumblr, or by looking for a chapter stream on YouTube. You may decide that you don’t need to buy a diamond scene if you’ve already seen it played through by someone else, or alternatively, you may decide whether or not to buy a diamond scene based on how good it looks in an existing playthrough – in either case, these techniques can help you thoughtfully ration out the diamonds you have, instead of being caught off-guard whenever a diamond choice comes up.

5. On the subject of the Choices wiki, it’s also a great way to maximise your success in books without using diamonds. Whenever there’s a ‘right’ option to a choice that gives you a better outcome later in the chapter, that’s indicated in the wiki. So with a bit of pre-reading of the wiki before you play the chapter, and/or with the wiki open on a separate screen as you play, you can get the best outcome without having to buy that outfit or bonus scene that promised you ‘an advantage.’ Obviously, your mileage may vary on whether this method is actually worth it, or whether it takes all the fun out of Choices by ‘cheating’ at the gaming aspect. I personally view Choices as more of an interactive story app than a game I’m trying to beat, so I have no issue with this method, but opinions may differ and that’s okay.

6. If you’re really feeling like a lack of diamonds is limiting your playing experience, it may be best to start out with ‘cheaper’ books until you have more diamonds stored up. In this case, I’m using ‘cheaper’ to mean books where there are fewer diamond scenes, where diamond scenes are less expensive, and/or where diamond scenes don’t play as big a role in the plot. It can be hard to identify which books fit this bill, but as a general rule, it’s more likely to be the earlier-released ones or less-popular ones. Some which I’d recommend are the first few books of the Freshman series, the #LoveHacks series, the High School Story series, the Perfect Match series, Most Wanted, The Heist: Monaco, Wishful Thinking, Bachelorette Party, and The Royal Masquerade.

7. Finally, a really quick tip for making the most out of free keys – keys are used up as soon as you start a book chapter, and refresh ~every 3 hours. This means that, even if you don’t have time to play chapters every 3 hours, you should try to open the app roughly that often and just click to unlock a chapter. When you finally have time to play, you’ll have a whole lot of chapters ready to go plus another two refreshed keys, and you can power through them at whatever speed you need to fit in them into your break time or to earn diamonds for an upcoming release. Once again, this is a tip that may need to be practised in moderation, because you don’t want to be constantly interrupting your life to load up an app on your phone. But even if you just log in and unlock chapters every 6 hours, or every 12 hours, that’s still 2-4 extra chapters ready for you at the end of the day plus your two free keys.

I think that’s about all for my tips! Thanks for reading, and I hope it helped at least a bit ❤️

[dontcare77ghj]

Heart

Dean x reader x Cas

For @schischi

Notes; The whole white witch plot is borrowed from Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters.

Part 1 of 3

“Mom! I brought you your favourite coffee.” You called, locking your mother’s front door behind you. “I thought we could do a girls day. Mom, where are you?” You questioned aloud, putting the hopping bag on the bench.

You walked through the large house, checking every room on the ground floor. 

“Mom!” You called, walking upstairs. “I know you’re home; I saw your car in the drive.” You said. Ignoring every other room, you made your way to her bedroom. An ear shattering scream left your body as you caught sight of your mangled mother in a pool of her own blood.

A series of loud knocks echoed through your home as you made your way to the front door. Upon opening the door you took notice of the two men standing in your doorway.

“Hi, sorry to disturb you Miss, I’m agent Banner and this is my partner agent Ruffalo.” The taller of the two introduced, both he and the shorter man pulling out their badges. “We just had a few questions concerning your mother.”

“Oh of course, I’m Y/N but you probably know that.” You said, opening the door and gesturing for them to enter. “I’m sorry the place is such a mess; I haven’t had time to tidy.” You told the two, feeling embarrassed at the disarray your home was home.

“It’s perfectly understandable given the events of the past few days.” Agent Ruffalo assured you, taking the offered seat on your couch. 

“I thought I already gave a statement when I found her?” You questioned, sitting across from the two.

“Yes you did, we just had a few questions about your original statement.” Banner assured you. “Now when you found your mother, was there anything strange you noticed? Any odd smells, flickering lights or things anything like that?”

“No nothing like that. Everything seemed normal, I didn’t think anything was wrong until I found her.” You said, fiddling with your fingers.

“We understand you have a key to your mother’s home. Is it possible for us to borrow it? Check out the scene a bit more?” Ruffalo questioned.

“Of course, if it helps you find out what happened.” You said, rising to a stand. “Wait here a second.” You told the two and walked into the kitchen. You grabbed the key and walked back towards the living room but hid behind the door frame as you heard them talking.

“So what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking it’s a deal, but we shouldn’t rule anything out.”

Shaking your head at the weird conversation you walked back in. “Found it.”

“Thank you very much, Y/N. We’re very sorry for your loss.” Agent Ruffalo said, taking the key out of your hand. “We’ll be in touch if we find anything.”

“Thank you. Have a nice day.”

“Hit me.” You said, tapping the bar.

“You look like someone who’s had a bad day.” The bartender said, pouring you another drink.

“Try bad week.” You snorted dryly, downing the drink quickly. 

“Anything I can do to help you fix it?” The man offered, flirting in a not so subtle way.

“Not a chance bud.” You laughed. Offended by your rejection, the man walked away from you to serve a group of women at the end of the bar.

You’d been sitting in silence for nearly twenty minutes when someone sat in the chair next to you.

“I didn’t expect to find you here. I thought you were more of a drink at home type of girl.” Agent Ruffalo said, turning towards you.

“Well normally I would much prefer that but I’m all out at the moment.” You snarked, causing the man to chuckle.

“You okay, darling? You look a little worse for wear.” He asked you in concern.

“I buried my mother today.” You said, tapping the bar again. “And then had it pointed out by the town that I am entirely alone.”

“I’m sorry you had to do that alone.” 

“Not your fault.” You shrugged, downing another shot.

“Let me buy you a drink, darling. You look like you could use one.” He said, flagging down the bartender.

“You don’t need to do that, Agent Ruffalo.” You insisted.

“I’m off duty Y/N, it’s Dean.” He smiled.

One drink quickly turned into four. You found yourself enjoying Dean’s company. You felt very comfortable with the agent, feeling as if you’d known him for years instead of a few days. The two of you sat at that bar talking about various details of each of your lives.

The two of you shared stories about your shitty childhoods, laughed at your crappy love life and talked about his successful relationship with his long term partner Cas.

“I love him.” Dean smiled giddily after his fifth drink. “I never thought I’d deserve someone like him.”

“You sound like you really love him.” You smiled at him.

“I do. He’s one of my soulmates.”

“What you have another?” You questioned, not thinking much of his phrasing. The man had had a few to drink.

“Apparently. We don’t know who our second is, but I know I’ll love them.” He mumbled.

“Dean!” Echoed through the bar. Turning around you saw Agent Banner making his way towards you. “Dean, I’ve been calling you for hours. We need to go.” Banner told him.

“Do you need some help, he’s had quite a few.” You laughed as Dean smacked his partner as he tried to help him up.

“Uh, no thank you. I’ve got plenty of experience here.” The tall man laughed somewhat tersely. 

“Alright. Have a good night, Agent Banner. You too Dean.” You bid the two farewell as Banner managed to drag his partner out of the bar. “One more.” You told the bartender, tapping the bar once more.

One more and you’d go home.

One more, for your mother. 

Bottoms up.

You awoke with a groan the next morning as the sun burnt your eyes. Your head was pounding as you forced yourself to sit upright. Another groan escaped you as your phone began to loudly ring.

“Hello?” You croaked, answering without looking.

“Y/N, it’s Dylan.” Your best friends brother greeted you. “I’ve got some bad news.”

“What happened Dylan?” You asked him, suddenly feeling much more alert and awake.

“It’s Emily. She’s dead, Y/N.”

Non-reader POV

“I’m telling you, Dean, it’s her.” Sam insisted. “It has to be her.”

“Sam, I have a hangover and don’t want to keep saying this, but it’s not her.” Dean said gruffly, massaging his temples. 

The two had been arguing all morning. It was a continuous cycle of "It's her," and "It's not her."

"Give me one good reason as to why it can’t be her.” Sam demanded.

“Because she buried her mother yesterday. You didn’t see how torn up this girl was when I got there. And her friend just died. It’s not her.” 

“So she’s a good actor. Hex bags were found at both houses, Dean.” Sam argued. “And that’s not all, four months ago her father died and guess what his body looked like.”

“Why would she kill these people Sam? You’ve got no motive.”

“Yes I do.” Sam said, quickly typing something into his computer. “Y/N was adopted. And six months before her father’s death she started going to therapy. According to the sessions notes, the father beat the crap out of her and the mother for most of her childhood.”

“Then why would she kill the mother and her friend?” Dean questioned his brother, still not doubting the woman’s innocence.

“The mother let it go. Didn’t report him. Maybe her friend found out.” Sam shrugged. “Dean, she could kill again, she’s already got three under her belt. We have to do something.”

“Shit.” Dean sighed, resting his head in his hands. “We’ll go talk to her again today. See if we pick up witch vibes, but I still don’t think it’s her.”

Reader POV

You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t do anything as your mind raced and your body began to shake. After hearing the news on Emily’s passing you’d shut down. A part of you registered the what was happening around you but that part was loudly drowned out by your screaming mind.

Emily was dead.

Your mother was dead.

Your father was dead.

You were well and truly alone.

The bedroom lights were beginning to flicker. As your panic attack began to worsen you could see them flickering even more aggressively.

There was the sound of light bulb sharing before the room descended into darkness. You noticed but were unable to do anything.

Someone was screaming your name. You could hear it but you couldn’t do anything about it.

You couldn’t do anything and it was when your breathing became particularly difficult the world finally went dark.

Non-reader POV

“What do we do?” Dean questioned Sam in panic as he tried to get Y/N to break out of her stupor.

“You gotta make her breath.” Sam said, kneeling on her other side. “She’s having a panic attack.”

“Jesus!” Dean cried out in surprise as the light bulb shattered. Both men covered their faces as the glass scattered.

“Move.” A gentle voice commanded, startling the two brothers. Both turned at the new voice to see Castiel standing behind them.

“Cas?” Dean questioned as the angel pushed the two hunters to the side. The angel kneeled in front of the woman, who was struggling to breath, and pressed two fingers to her forehead. Y/N’s eyes closed as Cas’s fingers and promptly fell back on the bed.

“There is no need for your gun, Sam.” Castiel said, turning back toward the Winchesters. “I would suggest you stop playing with it.”

“Cas she’s a witch. That light show is proof. She’s killed three people; she needs to be stopped.” Sam said, trying to convince the angel.

“She has not killed anyone. I won’t let you kill her, Sam.” Cas said, narrowing his eyes at the tall moose. 

“Cas what’s going on?” Dean questioned his soulmate. “Why are you protecting her?”

“For the same reason you want to protect her, Dean.” Cas told him, taking his hand. “She’s our other soulmate.”

Reader POV

When you awoke this time, you felt worse than you did before. This was no longer a case of a hang over, this was the after effects of a panic attack that took everything out of you.

You groaned as you got out of bed, all your muscles screaming as they began to move. Walking out of the bedroom and seeking the kitchen, you rubbed your temples in an attempt to sooth your raging headache.

Turning on the kettle you quickly popped two ibuprofen and took them dry.

“I see you’re awake.” A voice said behind you, startling you and causing you to almost drop your coffee cup.

“Who the hell are you?” You snapped at the unfamiliar man.

“He’s definitely not from hell, sweetheart.” Dean chuckled waking into your kitchen with his partner.

“What are you doing in my house?” You questioned, wrapping your arms yourself. “And, again, who are you?”

“I am Castiel.” The mystery man, Cas now, said. “And we’re here to help you.”

“Cas before you get into it, maybe we let her have some coffee. Or sit down.” Agent Banner cut in. Dean and Cas agreed with him and allowed you to make yourself a coffee. You felt a slight feeling of trepidation as you followed the three men into your living room but there was another part of you that felt at ease with the men.

“Am I allowed to know what’s going on?” You asked the men, sitting in the only single chair in your lounge.

“Before we get into this, we need you to listen to us before you decide we're nuts.” Dean said, giving you a serious face.

“Okay.” You said, clutching your coffee close. “One question, is this going to end with the three of you chopping up my body and throwing me into some dumpster? Because if it does, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Relax sweetheart, you’re not going to die.” Dean soothed. “First off, I’m Dean Winchester, this is my brother Sam. We’re hunters.” He said pointing to the tall man who gave you a smile and a wave. “We’re not your average hunters, we don’t hunt buck or bears, we hunt monsters.”

“We've been doing it for years, trying to protect the innocents.” Sam cut in. “We came to town because your mother’s death wasn’t under normal circumstances.”

“What do you mean not under normal circumstances?” You interrupted, unable to stop the question. Sam and Dean shared a look before Dean sighed.

“Your mom was killed by a witch.” Dean admitted. “And when we found out about Emily and what happened to your father Sam thought it was you.”

“You thought I would kill my family and friend?” You asked, narrowing your eyes at the long-haired man.

“I’m sorry, there was just a lot of evidence that I thought pointed to you. I should’ve looked into it a bit more instead of jumping to conclusions.” Sam apologized.

“Anyway, we came here this morning to talk to you about it but we found you having a panic attack. We couldn’t get you to calm down and suddenly your lights are flickering and the next thing you know, your globes shatter.” Dean told you.

“This is when I arrived.” Castiel said. “I calmed you and put you to sleep.”

“Not the best phrasing but could be worse.” Dean muttered. “Oh and Cas here is an angel of the lord.”

“Oh God.” You finally mumbled after a minute.

“No he’s not here anymore, he left.” Cas told you, making your eyes widen.

“Okay, suppose I buy this and don’t think you’re all nuts, why did all my light bulbs shatter?” You asked them, putting your mug on the table. “And why is everyone around me dying?”

“Okay Cas, you’re up.” Dean said, pointing to the angel. “And gently please.”

“Y/N, you’re not human.” Castiel started, making your eyes widen and the boys sigh. “At least not entirely. As I’m sure you’re aware you were adopted.”

“No, I was not actually.” You interrupted, choking on your spit. 

“Ah, well now you are.” Cas said. Dean let out a sigh and Sam hid his face in his hands. “As I was saying, your parents were not your actual parents. I’m not sure who they were exactly but I do know your mother was a white witch.”

“So, I am a witch?”

“Yes, but not quite. Witches are people who sold their souls to demons, white witches are born. It’s passed on from mother to daughter. As angels We’re supposed to ensure the protection of white witches but over the decades, they have become a dying race.

Until now, we were sure they were all extinct. As it turns out your mother used a very powerful cloaking spell and hid you away. We hadn’t been able to locate you until today.” Castiel explained. 

“Why would she cloak me and if you’re an angel how could you not locate me even through it?” 

“As a white witch, you hold significantly more power than those who sold their souls. Your mother would have had to have used the last of her life force to protect you the way she did. That’s why we couldn’t find you. I'm not sure exactly why she cloaked you, but I would assume it was to protect you.” Cas said.

“So, what do you say, sweetheart?” Do you believe us?” Dean questioned you as you placed your head in your hands.

“Look I really want to believe you because I kinda believe it but there’s no physical evidence.” You said, looking up. “Is there any physical proof you have?”

Without another word Castiel’s eyes glowed a bright, supernatural, blue. 

“Is that sufficient evidence?” He asked you, tilting his head to the side, eyes no longer glowing.

“Yeah, yeah I think that works.” You nodded. “Alright, I’m on board. He’s an angel, you’re hunters and I’m a witch. Jesus I need a drink.” You sighed, leaning back into your seat.

“Are you two going to tell her the rest of the news?” Sam asked the other two, a smug grin plastered to his face.

“There’s more?” You asked, face slightly paling.

“Oh yeah.” Sam smirked at his brother. “Come on Dean, you’re up to bat.”

“Fine.” Dean sighed, taking Cas’s hand in his. “The reason everyone around you is being murdered is because there’s a coven in the area that want you to feel isolated, so they can rip out your heart for a ritual.”

“What?” You exclaimed, voice raising slightly, as you covered your mouth in shock.

“You gotta tell her the rest, Dean.” Sam said. “She’s going to find out eventually.” He pointed out as his broker gave him a bitch face.

“Sam is right.” Cas agreed.

“Don’t you think we’ve dropped enough on her today? Do you want to overwhelm her?” Dean asked the two.

“Excuse me but I am right here and if I’m going to find out anyway, you might as well just tell me now.” You snapped, crossing your arms.

At your words Sam smiled and mumbled something you couldn’t discern; Cas gave you a bright smile and Dean let out a small chuckle.

“You’re defiently our soul mate, sweetheart.” He smiled.

A few seconds passed as you failed to register the words that left his mouth.

“Wait what?"

Taglist

@hopingforbarnes @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @skeletoresinthebasement @agent-barnes40 @rvgrsbrns @starlingelliot @smilexcaptainx @jelly-fishy-babie

If anyone from my marvel taglist list doesn’t want to be tagged in any Supernatural stories, message me and I’ll not tag you in them and only tag you for marvel pairings.

Show me your support. Give it a like. Leave a comment. Share with your friends and reblog. Inbox/message me any comments, ideas, pairings, taglist requests, or whatever you wish.

Coming soon;

Dean x reader x Cas

Wanda x reader x Vision

Steve x reader x Wanda

Natasha x reader x Tony x Bucky

Natasha x reader x Wanda

Tony x reader x Steve

Meg x reader x Cas

[shadowsong26x]

EPIX/Rise of Skywalker Reaction Post

So, I got back from seeing EPIX this morning, and I figured I should get all my thoughts down!

Everything spoilery is behind a cut, and this post is also tagged with the spoiler tags I’ve listed here. If you want me to add any additional tags, let me know and I will to this and any future EPIX posts.

Okay, so, before I really get into this, I should mention two relevant contextual things that probably strongly impacted my feelings on this movie.

I’m not super-invested in the sequel trilogy. I love (most of) the characters, I’m not really into the story that’s being told with them.

Given where TLJ left us, I went into the theatre expecting something between A Trainwreck with Some Delightful Moments and A Delightful Trainwreck. Basically, it was going to be a Hot Mess and I knew it, but I was pretty sure there was going to be something to love, even if the film as a whole didn’t delight me (which, honestly, is even where I stand with TLJ, which remains my least favorite film of the series). And, you know what? I got exactly that. A Sometimes-Delightful Trainwreck. I’d say it’s even towards the upper end of that Delightfulness scale.

All right, moving on to actual thoughts. I’m trying to focus on the positive here, mostly because I did overall enjoy this movie, but I also had some Problems with it.

I’m gonna talk about Kylo Ren first, mostly because I want to get this out of the way. I will say that--when I first saw TFA, I thought I could be interested in this character. I thought they were gonna maybe go the burnt-out gifted kid route with him, which would be hella interesting to explore for the child of Heroes like Han and Leia, and the Legacy he had to live up to. Obviously, they didn’t, and while the direction they went is certainly topical, it’s not super engaging, at least to me. I know it is to some people, and far be it from me to harsh anyone’s squee, but he basically doesn’t do anything for me. I personally don’t find him particularly interesting or intimidating.

Basically, I don’t particularly care about Kylo Ren. (I don’t know if I’m quite at the point where, as my roommate puts it, I aggressively Do Not Care, but the Not Caring is definitely a thing.)

Anyway, that disclaimer aside--his arc was okay, I guess? I mean...I think my general feelings on the subject are not that it felt phoned-in, exactly, but that it was mostly there because the writers thought it should be there, rather than it flowing organically from the character(s) involved. It also felt rushed, but that goes back to a problem with the movie as a whole that I will get into later in this post. But, given that, the actual beats that were involved in said arc I thought were effectively done. The bit with Han in the wreckage, in particular, was nice.

As for that Kiss though.

...I mean. I’m actually kind of pleased that the end of the film left the romantic threads dangling? It gave me plenty of OT3 feels (though I felt like, especially in the first third or so, the film was leaning more towards Rey/Poe and Finn/Rose, but there was some later stuff that seemed to hint at the full OT3 with a question mark on where Rose stands.)

But I do have a problem with the fact that the only on-screen kiss between Major Characters was between Rey and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo. That being said, I can backfill/justify it in that...you know how some people headcanon that Luke’s initial crush on Leia was some sort of “There is a Connection Here that I Cannot Name and it’s probably supposed to be Romantic given our ages and genders and presumed lack of other relationship so let’s go with that?” Between something like that and the fact that he just gave up his life for her in a very literal way (side note: the Force has always been New Powers as the Plot Demands; but the healing thing was a) if not actually in a canon novel at least strongly implied and b) ALL OVER fanon so even if I had a problem with Random Force Powers suddenly occurring I wouldn’t have an issue with this one; the Force Diad thing was ~handwave plot device~ sure fine whatever). ...anyway, given all of that, I can backfill it to a way where I don’t hate it (i.e., if he’d lived, I don’t think it would’ve been followed up on very much/they would’ve settled into a non-romantic relationship of some kind, whatever that might’ve been). Except that it’s the only one, which kind of leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

Then again, he did immediately die, so...yeah, I can live with this. I don’t like it, and I don’t think I ever will like it, but I don’t hate it either and it’s not a dealbreaker for me.

Most of the other problems I have with this film come down to structure and pacing. In that, thanks to where TLJ left us, this move had to do so much to bring the story to any kind of cohesive end, and not enough time to do it in. Trying to squeeze too much plot into too small a space.

(I actually had the same problem with ROTS initially--although that was more due to the PT having pacing issues as its Primary Narrative Flaw; TPM was way too slow; AOTC actually had good internal pacing but couldn’t quite make up for it; and then ROTS was as a consequence of that really rushed. Meanwhile, with the ST, I feel like the writers are relying on “it’s all there in the manual” a little too much, so not really...trying as hard, if that makes sense? To make it all connect within the film, I mean, as opposed to depending on people going into other/outside/supplemental material to connect the dots (still not as bad as the Prisoner of Azkaban movie on that front, but it’s still Bad; and, like, all film versions of novels leave some stuff out, just look at the LOTR films; but POA left out a key plot point and that--is a rant for another post. Back to EPIX). It’ll be interesting to see what kind of deleted scenes come out, or if it’ll grow on me in future watchings. Not that it’ll ever become a favorite, I don’t think, but it might improve in my eyes.)

Anyway, basically, a lot of this felt rushed or like...introduced but not really addressed/wrapped up in any kind of satisfactory fashion? Kylo Ren’s arc in particular, as I’ve mentioned before, plus the Threepio stuff felt rushed and non-consequential, and also with Rey’s arc to an extent (it...again, all the beats worked for me/I thought it was fairly effective, but it really needed two movies to pay off as well as it could have). ...I mean, there are more plot threads I could probably mention here, but those are the three that stuck out the most.

Also, this movie needed More Rose :( I LOVE HER and she was barely here!!!!!

Another thing I would’ve liked to see is...okay, I really liked the Overlapping Voices bit, but it would’ve been nice to have more Presence from the ghosts? Like...there’s a bit at the end of season 1 of Sailor Moon where she’s in the Final Battle, the other four have died (or just been left behind, if you’re watching the English dub), and their ghosts show up and place their hands on hers and lend her their strength? A visual cue like that would’ve been great and helped the arc feel more complete. Especially since Palpatine had all of his predecessors/Sith ghosts backing him in a more visible fashion. But, then again, that’s a Personal Taste thing and while it would’ve, IMO, made that moment better, not having it doesn’t make it worse, if that makes sense?

(Also, the credits moved too fast for me to track, but I definitely saw Qui-Gon Jinn listed, though I don’t recall hearing him, and I definitely recognized Anakin/Hayden Christensen and Mace/Samuel L. Jackson and Obi-Wan/Ewan McGreggor (and Alec Guinness I’m pretty sure?) and obvs. Yoda/Frank Oz when actually listening, but I couldn’t identify the other voices--anyone have the full list? Was Ahsoka and/or Kanan and/or Ezra involved, or was it restricted to movie-only Jedi?)

But...yeah. Apart from the Kiss being very ....:/ for me, most of my identifiable problems with the film is stuff like this.

I think the other thing I want to talk about in detail is the Rey Palpatine reveal.

So, up until this movie, I was actually in my corner flying my tiny but determined Rey Kenobi flag, and the more I think about it, the more I like Rey Palpatine for some of the same reasons? Like...I don’t remember everything I’d thought through about Rey Kenobi, but it had to do with the cyclical nature of Star Wars, and bringing it back where it started--and we get that with Rey Palpatine, in a nice arc, healing some of the damage her grandfather did, both to this family and to the galaxy as a whole.

That being said--those of you who know me and my fic projects know I’ve been writing a child (daughter) for Palpatine for quite some time now, and I have no intention of stopping, lol. Am I going to take this/Lavinia’s (presumably) half-brother into account in future projects? ...probably not. But I am looking forward to/hoping we get a novel or something about him and Rey’s mother. Because that is actually a story I’m interested in--why canon!Palpatine chose to have a kid, and how said kid managed to break away and got to this point. [...y’know, I actually think Rey Kenobi’s background/thread of descent would be less interesting to me? Since I subscribe to the idea that a) Korkie Kryze is Obi-Wan’s biological son; and b) Obi-Wan had many Friends With Benefits throughout the galaxy and figuring out exactly which one Rey descends from carries less weight for me.]

...okay, I think that’s all the Detaily Bits I want to get into, so here are some bullet points of things that really stuck out to me, in no particular order:

Bawled like a baby re: everything involving Carrie Fisher. Just...yeah. Miss you Space Mommy.

LANDO! I loved his entrance, I loved him adopting Jannah at the end, I loved all of it.

Chewie’s fake-out death was also actually pretty good/well-handled. I mean. First Boom happens and I’m like DDDDDDD: but then I remember how people reacted to his death in Legends and I’m like would they really do it and then DELIGHT.

HUX. Okay. I never really cared about this dude before, and honestly I still don’t really care about this dude but at the same time, those of you who know me know I have a Thing for double-agents and defectors and I LOVE THIS WHOLE ENTIRE PLOT THREAD. I LOVE THIS SHITHEAD TURNING TRAITOR FOR THE MOST VENAL REASONS AND STILL BEING A BAD GUY/EVIL/AN UNREPENTANT JACKASS. THIS WAS PERFECT.

(Also Finn shooting him in the leg instead of the arm as requested was DELIGHTFUL)

SPEAKING OF DELIGHTFUL gotta love Zombie Skeev Palpatine Unliving His Best Afterlife. Was he as Delightful as he is in ROTS or ROTJ? No. Did I still enjoy every minute of his scenery-chewing nonsense? You bet your ass. So happy, Ian McDiarmid looked like he was having tons of fun and honestly what more could I have asked for?

The whole scene on Ahch-To was just *chef’s kiss.* Use of Yoda’s theme with the rising X-Wing, Luke being snarky and kind and beautiful, him emerging from the fire with the saber...just loved it.

LEIA HAD JEDI TRAINING AND HER OWN LIGHTSABER. BB!MARK HAMILL AND BB!CARRIE FISHER’S FACES.

LEIA TRAINING REY. REY CALLING HER ‘MASTER.’

USING THE BOND TO ARM KYLO REN okay like I said I have Mixed Feelings about the arc as a whole but that moment was SO COOL.

Poe’s ex-girlfriend was pretty great, ngl.

JANNAH AND EX-STORMTROOPERS YESSSSSSSS

HINTS OF/SHREDS OF EVIDENCE FOR FORCE-SENSITIVE FINN GIVE THEM TO ME NOW.

D-0 was pretty cute!

All of the Badass Finn.

Also that MOMENT where Finn runs up to Poe like “I NEED TO TELL YOU A THING” and Poe is all “I NEED YOU TO FIGHT WITH ME” and Finn just interrupts himself to thank Poe and they have that “General” “General” moment and it’s SO CUTE I’m love it.

The entire thing at the Lars farm at the end. Just. Burying the lightsabers, seeing the twins’ ghosts, claiming the Skywalker name, Rey having her own saber now. This movie was a Hot Mess but it definitely ended on a high note.

...that’s pretty much what I have for right now. I will probably have more thoughts after discussing it with other people/seeing it again (because I will be seeing it again). But overall...do I like it? Well, it’s Star Wars, which I love and which frankly always has some Super Dumb and/or Frustrating Stuff, and the things I disliked weren’t bad enough to Ruin It for me, so yes, I liked it. Is it my favorite Star Wars/good for a Star Wars movie? ...not really, no. It did have some gorgeous moments, but it doesn’t really hang together. Like the rest of the ST, it relies way too much on It’s All There In The Manual and, between that and the fact that TLJ didn’t do the work necessary to set it up, the movie felt rushed and a little bit...I don’t want to say hollow, maybe shallow is a better word? I mean, I know this is Star Wars and It’s Not That Deep (but the ground is soft and I’m ready to dig or however the quote goes), but this felt particularly shallow even for Star Wars. Like...cotton candy, fairly good/tasty but a little bit prone to melting away and with very little substance holding it together. On that level, I’d actually probably rank it around Solo (which, let me say, I really like)--so, better than TLJ, but still A Hot Mess of a movie. But I enjoyed myself, and I think overall my feelings are middling-to-positive on it. Even if...honestly, even like less than four hours after the movie ending, I’m already forgetting like half the plot points...? Like I said. Cotton Candy.

What did/do you guys think?

[tessatechaitea]

Text Adventure Review: “Border Zone”

The main reason I'll probably need to pause the game is to masturbate when I meet the sexy double agent and type, "Fuck sexy double agent then fall asleep".

In the picture above, try not to read the three chapter titles because there's a spoiler in the third one that says "The Assassination." I'm going to forget that's a plot point and start playing "Chapter 1: The Train" because Marc Blank suggested that's what I do. CHAPTER ONE The protagonist (that's you! The person you play in the game! Or it's me! I'll probably go back and forth using first and second person pronouns so please don't be confused by my amateurish writing style) is just a regular non-spy person who does a little importing and exporting across the Iron Curtain. This game is from 1987 so nobody remembers what the Iron Curtain is anymore. It really wasn't that important anyway, at least not to those of us living on the Western side of it and never had to really think about its implications on the people trapped on the Eastern side of it. Am I supposed to have enough time and compassion to worry about the state of other peoples' worlds when I can barely keep my world from disintegrating?! If you want Levi's, people dumb enough to be born in countries annexed by the USSR after World War II, maybe you should have thought about that up in heaven when God was asking you what uterus you wanted your soul implanted in! Idiots. The train story begins, as all good espionage train stories do, with a probably dying secret agent breaking into your compartment to hand you the documents that will stop the assassination if only you can get them to another secret agent by responding to a coded phrase with a coded phrase of your own. I think I've practically got this part of the game won! Except I've forgotten both of the phrases already. I should probably restart and make a note of them, right? Okay, I've figured out what the secret agent will say to me and what I have to respond and I've even translated the sayings into Frobnian because I understand how Infocom games use their non-digital printed material as copy protection! Somebody without the phrase book that comes with the game wouldn't realize that the American agent is telling you the English codes but his contact is Frobnian! I'm so far ahead of Marc Blank right now he would say something like, "Whoa! That guy is super far ahead of me! And totally not a virgin." As an experienced business man who has dealt with border control for my entire business life (the fictional me in the game! What, you think I actually work for a living?!), I know that I can't just keister the document. The searches at the border are brutal. And I don't have a fake mustache so I'm flummoxed already. Plus the wounded agent left a big blood spatter on the floor of my cabin. So to even make it out off the train so I can meet my contact, I've got to clean up the blood and figure out what to do with the document. The blood was easy but to keep the document, I had to get caught a few times to figure out where the evil trench coat wearing man's interrogation weaknesses lay! Or lie (I knew I should have phrased that differently. Stupid lie/lay is worse than who/whom). Because apparently even if you flush the document down the toilet underneath a huge nervous stomach shit, the border patrol will dig it out and bust you. So I cleaned up the blood by doing all of the boring and inane steps like turning on the faucet and wetting the towel and turning off the faucet and scrubbing the floor and returning to the bathroom and flushing the towel. In Infocom games, it isn't enough to just tell the protagonist to clean up the blood and then, like a normal adult human being, the protagonist would think, "Oh yeah! I know how to do that! Let me get right to it!" I guess Infocom games are less about ordering some jerk around and more trying to pretend that you are that jerk and that that jerk is kind of stupid. After cleaning the blood, I had to figure out what to do with the document. No matter where I tried to hide it, border control sniffed it out and traced it back to me. So the only thing to do was to tear it up and shove it up my ass! I mean throw it out the window. But that meant I couldn't complete my mission which really wasn't my mission anyway and why did I care if some ambassador was assassinated?! I didn't ask for this responsibility! It's not my fault if somebody dies today. It's the fault of the clumsy American agent who got himself shot, stumbled upon a useless dolt to complete his mission, and then fell off the roof of the train! I should just throw the document out the window and get on with my life! And maybe I will! But before I did that — you know, just in case my conscience berates me continuously for the rest of my life — I figured I should probably keep some photographic evidence of the document. After doing so, I couldn't help worrying about how there was another picture left on the roll of film and I was probably going to have to completely restart this stupid game when I realized I needed to take one more picture before removing the film and hiding it up my ass from the border patrol. Stupid Infocom games always have me worried that I'm in a walking dead with a roll of film up my ass scenario! Being the super chill American businessman turned spy kind of Lothario I am, I totally and easily complete my new mission and probably fuck a hot double agent too! But not the young girl I handed the roll of film to! The double agent was probably older than that!

I know this screenshot is different from the previous screenshot! But the Apple IIe copy I found crashed when you examined your clothes or photographed the document. And the Commodore 64 version seems to think people who play Infocom games are already wasting their lives so why not make every move take an interminable amount of time. So I wound up playing the browser MS-DOS version on Archive.org.

For an Infocom game, that first chapter was simple! All you had to do was act like a boring idiot who totally wasn't involved in political espionage at all and you succeeded! I bet every nerd who tried their hand at this game beat Chapter One. But the next chapter will be different because the player takes on the part of the American spy! What greasy nerd knows how to act suave and sophisticated and super sexy? I mean aside from me! I was born to play this role! CHAPTER TWO You begin the story of the American Spy after he falls from the roof of the train. He claims he jumped for it but when I was the businessman, I know what I saw! I'm a clumsy oaf! I mean he's a clumsy oaf! No, wait. I guess I am the clumsy oaf! And I'm not clumsy at all! I totally jumped for it and looked hot doing it. Now I just have to survive the freezing weather and try to get past the border patrol or else I'll die out here in the ... BORDER ZONE! Hopefully I'll also get another chance to fight my rival Viper to the death! Ew, I'll show him! Or her! Or not! After playing this chapter for about ten minutes, I realize it does every single thing I don't like in text adventures: time limit, characters that go about their business while you're off in other areas, and a puzzle that relies on knowing so much about the timeline that you have to play the scenario dozens of times to work it all out. I feel like I've got the gist of what you have to do (although I'm probably wrong on one key point because I haven't played more than a handful of times) but I'm not sure I'm willing to keep at it. After you bail from the train, the border guards begin searching for you. So you've got some guys in a vehicle driving around and a pack of dogs (not to mention the searchlights and fences at the border) hunting you down. Early on, you have to get to a small house because it has a parka in it to keep you from freezing to death. You have to time this with when the guards arrive to talk to the owner so he's distracted while you sneak in the back. There might be more to do inside the shack other than gather up all the crap in the storage room but, as I mentioned, I haven't really explored the scenario yet in multiple ways. As a spy, you have an explosive pen on you. It has a timer which means I have to figure out how long to set the timer for and where to stick the pen to get something further in the story to happen. I feel like I have to stick it on the guard's automobile so that it explodes near the border, distracting the guards at the spotlights so I can make a run for the other side. Realizing that that might be the solution is what has really made me dread continuing with this game. Another puzzle is to get the dogs to stop following you. I'm fairly certain you do that just by putting on the work boots and trudging through the swamp a ways before leaving the swamp in a new location and leaving the boots behind. If there are any other puzzles (aside from staunching your bleeding gun shot wound), I haven't found them. I suppose the biggest one is sneaking about to get the pen on the guard's car and figuring out how long to set the timer for. Do I want to bother with that? I feel like that's the big puzzle that allowed Infocom to tack on hours and hours of gameplay to Border Zone. Because now I have to follow the car around to see where it goes and how long I'll need to set the timer for and where I'll need to be when the pen blows up. I have other things to do with my life, Marc Blank! I mean, they're not very important things. But they're things I'd rather be doing than messing around with the timer on my imaginary explosive pen! I'm not cut out to be a spy, especially when that spy has to know things he couldn't possibly know on the first playthrough of this game. Does Marc Blank know how real life works?! Oh, your argument is that this is a game and not real life and that maybe I should chill out about it?! Well if this game is a game and not real life, why the fuck does everything keep moving along even when I'm not entering any commands?! Who wants to play a text adventure like that?! Even Bioshock doesn't demand that kind of effort out of the player. Bioshock is the only other game I could come up with. It isn't even a fair comparison. If Border Zone were a first person shooter, I'd absolutely finish this chapter! I could see the guards moving and physically hide from them. I could observe how everything moves in the game by following them around. But in a text adventure, it's fucking impossible. Sure, the game tells me if the dogs are to the north or the west. But when I'm hiding behind the shack, it sure would be a lot easier to figure out what I'm doing if I could see the guards interacting with the owner of the shack and milling about searching the premises! I don't think my imagination is good enough to handle this bullshit tension. I'm so fucking stressed out right now!

Apparently you can get close to the border without doing any of the stuff I previously mentioned except stealing everything from the storage room.

It doesn't seem like I've done enough before getting to the border but I guess I should explore this area a little more before writing Marc Blank a letter about how terrible some of his decisions were early in his career. I suppose I need to use my explosive pen here to blow a hole through the fence which I won't be able to climb through because the guards will hear it. Unless I time the explosion to blow when both guards are at the same spot, killing them? Then can I rush through in the chaos?! Figuring out the answer to that means doing math, I bet! That's because you get a timer and a little ASCII display of the guards' motion as you watch them. This is way too hard! I miss the Infocom days when you could just type "kill thief with sword" and hope the random number generator gave you a good result. Once you get through the fence, you can climb up a guard tower where there's a bolted ladder leading up to a locked door with a guard inside. But even if you can hide on the metal bit bracing the ladder, knock on the door, and shove the stupid guard off of the tower, you still can't jump across the border from the top of the tower. You just wind up dead. Which is when I thought, "Hey! I need the exploding pen for this part! I bet I can just climb over the fence and save the explosives for this scene!" And I was almost completely and absolutely right except for a few small details which would have frustrated the fuck out of me if I hadn't gotten completely lucky on restarting Chapter Two to try out my new solutions. You see, there's a small shed in the forest near the shack. A small shed that is almost impossible to find due to my apathetic attitude toward mapping Border Zone and the way every location is described as "You move 100 yards north and find you're still in the snowy forest. What did you expect, jerk?!" Sure, the shed has been drawn on the map that came with the game so that people who actually purchased Border Zone would have explored long enough to find it. And I have access to that map because everything is free on the Internet. Right? Am I making a terrible assumption there? Um, anyway, when I restarted, due to not having mapped, I couldn't remember exactly how to get to the shack before the guards got there. While stumbling around lost, I found the shed with the rubber gloves and bolt-cutters inside. And like in most text adventure games that aren't Infocom, the main puzzle was simply finding the right items where they were hidden. Because as soon as I found the bolt-cutters, I knew I had this chapter beat. What I didn't know was that the border fence I'd previously blown up to get through was electrified! Luckily, I had found the rubber work gloves right there with the bolt-cutters. Marc Blank practically gave that puzzle's solution away for free! Idiot. He should have hid the gloves somewhere in the forest where you weren't ever clued in to dig in the snow. That's more like a proper 80s text adventure! Of course, that's not Infocom's way! Infocom wants you to succeed! They want you to realize you wasted the pen explosive and needed a new solution where you use the pen to blow up the tower so that it falls over the border fence with you inside of it! But at least in the actual solution, you still get to push that stupid Frobnian Nazi off of the tower. Eat snow, grumblebutt!

I'll accept my Champeen of Infocom crown now.

Chapter Three The first two chapters were way too easy for Infocom games so I'm really nervous about this third chapter. Have I just gotten more brilliant as I've grown older or did Marc Blank save all of his dreadful Infocom ingenuity for this final chapter?! Hopefully this chapter doesn't have dozens of NPCs whom I've got to track across multiple playthroughs just to figure out where I should be every minute of the scenario. I really do prefer text adventure games with static environments that simply react to the things I do. I'm already stressed out thinking about my race against the clock to save the ambassador! Remember when I didn't even care if the ambassador died during the first chapter?! Why am I suddenly invested in saving that asshole?!

In this chapter, I'm the sexy double agent!

The sexy double agent is also — and this is a huge spoiler for all you Infocom fanatics who just haven't, for some reason, gotten around to playing all of the Infocom games — Viper, the man in the trench coat trying to get the documents back from the importer/exporter in the first chapter! If that's the case, you'd think I could just go to a coffee shop and hang out for the rest of the game. If I'm trying to stop the people trying to stop the assassination, then can't I just stop trying to stop those people so they can stop the assassination?! Maybe if I just hit "z" and "enter" until this chapter ends, everything will work out for the best! Seventeen in-game minutes later, the ambassador has been shot and killed. What the fuck?! How incompetent are the American spies? I guess that's why I'm a double agent. Because I'm double the agent all of these other jerks are. I guess I need to get to work saving the day all by myself! If only that stupid American businessman had given me the documents, I could have saved the day myself. Except when I did get the documents in Chapter One, the game still ended with the ambassador getting assassinated. I should just get on with saving the day already. I bet when I'm done, I'll run into Topaz (that was my secret agent name in Chapter Two, apparently) and we'll share a deep, passionate kiss. I do run into Topaz chilling at a coffee shop exactly like I was planning to do!

I guess Topaz doesn't feel the same way that I feel about him.

Topaz is probably still important to the story, so I decide to leave him alone for now as I got about my double agent business of stopping the assassination that I put into place. It's actually not too hard to do if I don't mind sacrificing the rest of my double agent career. I meet my contact, learn the sniper's password, figure out what window he's sniping out of (by checking the apartment directory, you just have to find which eastern facing apartment is empty on the fifth floor (maybe other floors at time but it always seemed to be the fifth floor on my multiple restarts), and go shoot him in the back. But that puts a lot of suspicion on you and you wind up pushing papers in Siberia. Better to trick Topaz into stopping the assassination! I guess that's why you have to save his life in Chapter Two. To do that, you have to get him to chase you back to the sniper's nest without getting caught by him or the local police. At one point, you get to push over a hot dog vendor's cart so it really feels like you're in an action movie and also that you're a fucking prick. Once you lead Topaz back to the sniper, the difficult part was not also being killed by Topaz. After making him a huge hero, he kept shooting me in the face because he's a huge bastard whom I wish I never helped cross the border now! At first I thought, "Well, this is an Infocom game. It was bound to get difficult at some point! And I guess one or two moves away from completing the game is as good a time as any to get stuck." But then I thought, "Well, even though the sniper doesn't let me move or do anything, and the sniper's apartment is completely bare, maybe I can try to hide so Topaz doesn't fucking murder me when he kicks in the door?"

Oh fuck. Easy as that, was it?!

And with that final move to hide in plain sight, I fucking defeat Marc Blank! You stupid son of a bitch! You thought you were so clever, didn't you? "Oh, look at me! I'm an Infocom imp! I write the hardest text adventure games in the world and I only mattered for like four years in the mid to late eighties because I hitched my star to the most boring entertainment ever! Only stupid virgin assholes would keep playing the games I wrote, the dumb bastards!" Hey! Fuck you, Marc Blank! How did that Marc Blank imaginary soliloquy get away from me so badly?! Anyway, suck on this, Marc:

Seriously though. I can't believe I beat this game without any hints. I'm fucking chuffed.

SCORES Game Title: Not great since it basically drove me away from this game for years. I suppose if you're into espionage stories, it's a great title because it's so evocative of crossing a border! That's like the hardest challenge in the espionage genre! I think. I'm not a fan so what the fuck do I know? My favorite espionage movie is Run, Lola, Run. Does that count as espionage? I guess that's more heist fucks time travel while fingering romance's anus. Puzzles: As far as modern day Interactive Fiction "rules" go, the puzzles in Border Zone are terrible. Nearly all of them rely on playing through and losing dozens of times to see how the NPCs react to different situations. It's the only way to learn how they behave so you can act accordingly. But compared to a non-Infocom game, the puzzles were generally satisfying. Because of the way the game works, I'm not even sure some of the things I did were solutions to puzzles or just wasting my time. Did I have to go through the swamp to lose the dogs or could I have just done everything quicker? Were there alternate ways to solve puzzles or were things like the binoculars and the wood saw in Chapter Two just red herrings? Generally, once I saw the way the other characters reacted, it was long before I figured out how to thwart them. I believe Marc Blank was relying on some puzzles to be difficult due to the player losing track of the story. Like in Chapter One, you can get all the way to the end and still get caught when you try to pass the documents to your contact because you were wearing the stupid white carnation the entire time. But once you realize you seem to have done everything correctly and some guy on the platform is still following you, it's not hard to realize you need to not stand out and to keister that stupid flower until you actually need it. Gameplay: Fucking annoying. I hate adventure games where the story continues no matter what you do. I hate timed adventure games. Border Zone decided not only to use those two aspects I hate but to invent a third one that — Hey! Guess what?! — I hated even more: time passes even when you're not typing! Is there a word that means both "innovative" and "Goddamned fucking annoying as fuck"? Whatever it is, Marc Blank should copyright it. Graphics: Normally for a text adventure, I'd say none and be done with it. But this one did have graphics! It had a little ASCII bit to show two guards marching around the base of three towers! And it absolutely did nothing for me because the dumb guards barely even notice you when you cut through the fence silently instead of blowing a huge hole in it. Hell, even after blowing a hole in the fence, the idiots keep to their regular patrol only slightly more alert due to hearing an explosion. Concept: I think I more than adequately covered my apathy toward the concept. I will compliment Marc Blank for his work in making a game about a really stressful experience into a really stressful experience. Good job, jerk! Fun Time: I keep forgetting to track the amount of time it takes me to play these games. Maybe I'll get better at it eventually. But I think I spent maybe six hours (at most. I might even drop that to four or five) playing this game over the last week and a half? I did think about it more than that though. But not a lot more. And the third chapter which I thought would be dreadfully hard took the least amount of time of all. Probably not even an hour. The good news is that the amount of "fun time" I had with this game is equal to the amount of time I played it. That doesn't often happen. Usually the "fun time" gets expended quickly and I force myself to trudge through the rest of the game, adding the experience to the long list of things I'll regret when a doctor finally says to me, "You have three months to live due to your malignant finger cancer caused by typing."

[malvolios-yellow-stockings]

Yeah, same. Because a lot of shows that queerbait the "main" relationship give us queer side-characters in a "see, you dumdums, this is your gay representation and you better be grateful for this 10 minutes of screentime per season character or alternatively, the main character's best friend who's safe to be gay because they're not a fan favourite" kind of way. When you're so used to, be it first-hand or second-hand (and by second-hand I mean hearing about the experiences of other mostly queer people who watched this show you haven't), being made fun of by the actual fucking text (something like BBC's Sherlock springs to mind) of the show, you just become extremely cautious.

And the thing is, shows like these still had a huge queer following because although the showrunners made fun of the queer pairings, if not in the text itself then in interviews, they also played into it just enough to make people believe something might just happen.

Fuck these shows man.

And then Our Flag Means Death waltzes in, guns blazing. I had the same experience as you did OP. I thought, okay, so Lucius... I like him a lot, he's confirmed to be gay, so that's it, right?

And then, OFMD says actually no! Because Lucius finds someone and gets into a relatively healthy relationship and that felt revolutionary enough.

And then, Jim happens. Now, I have (mostly) nothing against "grlboss in disguise" plots, but when Jim was asked whether they're a woman and they said something like Yes. I guess. I don't know. I knew something queer was afoot.

And that was enough! And then to see Jim being canonically non-binary and be in love with a guy? Damn, this show is amazing. And then the canonically gay character Lucius feels attracted to them? Nuance people, nuance.

So I was preparing myself to forgive the show for setting up something romantic between Ed and Stede and bailing on it last second. And I was maybe holding out for a vague enough confirmation in the form of a cast interview a few years later, after the last season airs or something (which seems so absolutely fucking insanse in hindsight, but proves how burnt by queerbait we've been). And then, again, OFMD just doesn't do that? But delivers a multilayered story of two traumatised older men who haven't fallen in love before fall in love?

And that's just the queer rep, there's also a lot of racial diversity (and how racism is dealt with should be discussed further), body diversity (and the fact that different body types can be desired), positive representations of masculinity and nontraditional masculinity...

Gah, this show kissed me on the forehead and provided me a full course meal. Cheers to season 2!

And I'm not saying OFMD is the only show ever, a lot of other shows featured revolutionary queer rep, but the difference is, OFMD is first in-demand and has dethroned so many hyped TV shows out there. And it's so rare, in my experience, to see a show skyrocket in popularity as much as OFMD has, after the first season aired. The popularity of it, even the critical acclaim, I guess, and the things I mentioned beforehand along with the sheer fandom/fanbase activity be it meta or art or something else, contribute to the show's "revolutionary" feel.

Starting ofmd I assumed blackbonnet was a queerbait but knew I'd love it anyway.

When Lucius stated that he is gay in episode two I thought he was the token gay (actually I thought so from the moment I saw him). I was just thrilled to have an openly have character.

Everything else... Holy shit I did not expect that.

It really underlines how used we are to being queerbaited. I hardly know how to enjoy this gem, when I don't have to read into hints and details to find the gay. How do we write fanfic, when the best tropes are already covered? How do you get lost in the could have been when everything just was?

I think queerbaiting has broken me a little

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

Random Wondy Series Thoughts, Part the Second

Okay, so, second part of the Wonder Woman thing that I’ve elected to call Woman of Truth.

Last Time:

The Amazons sensed a great evil approaching, whilst Steve Trevor and the American Military and Etta Candy and the Holiday Girls were deployed by their godly patrons – Ares and Aphrodite respectively – to either fuck up the Amazon’s shit or stop that from happening. Etta was taken capture, and Steve crashed on Themyscira, thereby breaking the island’s defences and making it visible to the aircraft carrier staffed by Ares’ men just outside the barrier.

Warning: More than the last one, this will cover spousal abuse, mass murder and some disturbing imagery. You have been warned.

(Riordan fans, I’m so sorry. This was the first thing that came up.)

So, the island is revealed. We open on Olympus, where the gods are in session – all twelve Olympians, and of course Hestia, are present. Artemis, literally shaking with rage, is demanding Ares’ head for his actions, and the other patrons/most of the other Olympians are backing her up. Zeus, however, is taking Ares’ side, and claims that his son’s actions are not indicative of his feelings. He then accuses Aphrodite of interfering, and Aphrodite sniffs and says that she thought they established a parent is not responsible for their child’s actions?

Cos, yeah. Etta is a demigod daughter (Scions, they’re called here, because I love that RPG) of Aphrodite. The rest of the Holiday Girls? They’re Scions too. Btw, if you thought I made the unashamedly fat woman the Scion of the Goddess of Beauty by accident? You were wrong.

Regardless, we now cut to Etta, still locked up on the ship. A man walks in, unlocks the doors and tries to kill her, his face melting off in the process to reveal a grinning skull. Etta, in response, punches him in his skull-face, steals his gun and shoots him with it. She runs out of the room, praying her plan worked…

Cut to Themyscira, where Phillipus is marshalling the Amazons to war (though less gayly than this panel). Hippolyta forbids Diana and Donna from taking part, then hurries off to prepare. Donna asks Diana if they’re going to sneak out, but Diana says that Donna should go alone, she wants to speak to the prisoner.

Back on the ship, the army is preparing for war, because a) the captain is Phobos, Ares’ second son, b) as far as their concerned this island swallowed two of their men and c) they’re America, this is kind of what they do. They aim their cannons, Phobos is ready to start laughing in glee, but… the guns don’t work. Neither does anything else on the ship. All the power had gone. Phobos is irate, and demands to know what happened.

What happened was… the other Holiday Girls, who used Etta getting captured as a diversion to access the ship’s engines and disable them. ‘Woo! Woo!’-ing along, Etta and the others meet up and start escaping the ship.

On Olympus, Ares is irate. He quickly leaves, and as Athena congratulates Aphrodite on a masterful plan (p.s. all of the patrons are a little bit gay for each other, I don’t make the rules) Hephaestus asks what will be done about Themyscira. Zeus declares that Themyscira will have to live without his protection of it (ignoring, Athena mutters darkly, that he didn’t put up any protections) and then starts throwing a Trump. I’m sorry, but that’s what he does.

So, that plot from Rucka’s run that Zeus and the other gods are losing power in favour of Aphrodite, Athena and Ares? Now that we live in a world that has several world leaders who would do worse than Zeus given the same chances, I’m calling bullshit on that.

Back on Themyscira, Diana enters the cell as Steve is healed. She starts talking to him, asking how to get the army to stop threatening her home. Steve, half delirious, mutters something about a flag… Diana leaves, but not before he mistakes her for an angel.

As Zeus is going on about… none of the rest of them are sure, honestly they’ve given up at this point, there is a defiant snap of fingers. Zeus turns to his right. Hera is standing up now, her face like stone. Themyscira’s image is surrounded by a globe once more.

Realizing as Themyscira blinks out of view that he best cut his losses, Phobos fingers a remote detonator. He is stopped by the Holiday Girls, one of whom, a Scion of Athena, extrapolates his plan – hit Themyscira with missiles, aimed at its armoury and forge, then blow up the ship – the US government investigates, sees the ruins of the boat and the clearly technologically advanced island, and declare war. The Holiday Girls attempt to stop him, but he quickly overpowers them, removing a scrap of Etta’s shirt in the fight. He blows up the ship, but they and the mortal crew are saved by Nereids under the employ of Thethys, Titaness of the Seas, who rules the coasts of Themyscira since the Amazons and Poseidon… don’t get on.

On Olympus, Zeus is still struck, glaring at Hera who is glaring right back. Then he backhands her, storming (literally) out of the council. The patrons hurry to Hera’s side, as Athena predicts that whatever Ares has planning, it’s bigger than just attacking Themyscira.

At the ruins of Areopagus, Ares arrives, meeting with his children – Deimos, Phobos and Kydoimos, God of Battlefield Confusion. As Phobos gives his excuses, Ares snaps his neck, coldly stating he’ll heal. He then demands that his other children move on to the next stage of the plan, and leaves in a gout of flame.

Themyscira, a couple of days later: As the Holiday Girls were recovered, the mortals were wiped of their memories, and Steve has healed of his wounds, the Amazons meet to decide their next move. Some call for immediate action, reasoning that if one man could breach the island, others could. Others call for the killing of Steve, saying that his death would result in the Status Quo being restored – besides, maybe Ares has played his hand. Finally, Menalippe points out that they have a solution – hold the games, find a champion.

Hippolyta agrees, the council disperses, and once more Diana approaches her mother and asks her to allow Diana to take part. Hippolyta refuses again, and Diana brings up her defeating Ares in World War II. Hippolyta rounds on her, finally revealing the truth: there was no climactic battle with Ares. Ares wasn’t there. Hippolyta joined the war, fought alongside the Justice Society (especially Dinah Drake, yes I’m putting that in here), saw the fucking concentration camps, and in the end realized that there was no supernatural force other than the ones the Nazis used. There was no Ares, only people.

Shocked, Diana leaves and Hippolyta falls apart, being comforted by Phillipus. She realizes that she’s turning Diana away, and asks if Diana’s ready. Phillipus admits she doesn’t know, but says that Diana believes it.

Diana, in tears, confronts Steve about what she’s learnt. Steve admits it – he goes one further, in fact. He tells her about the millions of Jews America turned away, the racism, sexism and hatred that still pervades America to this day, and when Diana asks him how he can defend such a place, how he can expect her to, he says he expects nothing of her – he can’t convince her, he can only tell her that for every asshole, every jackass like him and the soldiers on the boat stubbornly following orders, there’s people like Etta and the Holiday Girls, who stand up and say no.

The Games begin again, and Phillipus inspects the lines of hopefuls. Her eyes fall on one, in the back, helmet stubbornly down, trying to not be seen. She approaches, places a hand on her shoulder, and Diana looks up.

“Good luck out there, sister.” Phillipus says.

Diana smiles and clasps her shoulder as well, as close to a hug as the two can get.

“Thank you, mother.” she whispers.

The games begin, and one Amazon outstrips them all. It isn’t until the final test, a melee brawl, that Hippolyta sees this anonymous Amazon use a move only she and one other know. She looks at Phillipus, but Phillipus says nothing.

Eventually, Diana wins the games. She removes her helmet, and above the gasps of the crowd, she looks at the three faces trying ��� and failing – to look shocked (because Donna knows her sister too.)

Hippolyta whispers “They don’t deserve you.”

Diana replies, looking at Steve and Etta “Some do.”

Thus, several days later, Steve, Etta and the Holiday Girls are packing up to leave, Etta jabbering along about a doctor she knows that can help them in Patriarch’s World (I’m calling it Patriarch instead of Man’s World because that leaves less room for misinterpretation). Diana walks up in the Swimsuit of Power, shyly telling Steve that she took what he said about a flag to heart – for she has dressed herself in the traditional garb of his countries’ fictional women warriors. Steve and a square half of the Holiday Girls are too dumbstruck to tell Diana this isn’t what women soldiers actually wear, and Etta thinks they don’t have time. (This is all, btw, based on this idea, which I still like.)

Hippolyta, Phillipus and Donna walk up. Donna begs to join Diana, but Diana gently refuses, saying that their mothers (Phillipus starts) have already lost one daughter. She embraces all three, then climbs on the boat, sailing off as, because I’m me, an all-female cover of Bring on the Monsters plays.

As we close, Deimos and Kydoimos stand ready as Phobos heals and wakes up. Kydoimos leaves, saying he’ll find Orpheus’ gateway, and Deimos informs Phobos about Diana leaving the island. Phobos asks if Etta was with them, and as Deimos says yes, walks towards Medusa’s Heart, holding up the scrap of Etta’s shirt. A bony grey hand reaches out of the heart, grasping the scrap, bringing it up to where eye level should be, as Phobos informs the creature inside that this isn’t her target, the Amazon that’s with her is. The episode ends with Decay stepping out of Medusa’s Heart, shrieking as she flies off.

So, when I said the pilot would probably be two parts, I didn’t account for how much time it would take. As with the first one, please feel free to leave any comments you want, I’d love to hear them!

Links, when I get them done:

First Part (Pilot #1)

Third Part (Pilot #3)

Fourth Part (Season 1)

Fifth Part (Seasons 2 + 3)

[keyofjetwolf]

Jet Wolf Summarizes Act 25

As it turns out, the manga and I aren’t going to be great friends. Rather than spend the energy on a liveblog that’s increasingly negative, I’m reading each manga act (mostly) silently, and then writing up summaries at the end. I’ll be very candid, which means there’s likely criticism and snark a’plenty about the manga, either wholesale or in details. If that isn’t a thing you feel like reading, please skip this post!

Demande has decided that instead of ruling the Earth, he’s going to destroy all of existence. I understand. I felt the same when my team lost the point in Overwatch the other day. WOULD IT FUCKING KILL YOU TO STAY PUT FOR THREE GODDAMN SECONDS GENJI

Everyone braces for impact, and when I say “everyone” mean “more versions of Mamoru than is strictly needed, but certainly not the Senshi because, shockingly, they are all knocked out again.”

YOU’RE TWO FOR TWO LADIES

SO EMPOWERED

Bored with this plot, Pluto stops time so she can have another flashback. In it, Queen Serenity finally reveals The Third Taboo. She indicates that this taboo, which must never ever ever be broken ever is somehow more dire than the previous two taboos which must also never ever ever be broken ever. I think Queen Serenity really just liked saying “Taboo”, and was playing a secret game where she tried to make as any other people say it as possible.

Tabgwooo?

At any rate, she completely sets Pluto up for failure on this, because it’s possible there were a small contingent of people out there still determined to think Queen Serenity was super duper aces benevolent awesome.

YOU NEED THAT GARNET ROD FOR LITERALLY NO OTHER FUNCTION THAT WE’VE SEEN EXCEPT THIS ONE THING THAT YOU CAN’T EVER DO OR YOU’LL DIE GO HAVE FUN NOW BEING AN EIGHT YEAR OLD STUCK ALONE IN A FEATURELESS LIMBO FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS DOING A JOB NO ONE ELSE CAN DO EXCEPT LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE CAN DO IT AND DON’T FORGET THE ONLY REWARD FOR USING YOUR ACCESSORY TO DO A THING YOU CAN NATURALLY DO ANYWAY IS DEATH NO REASON JUST BECAUSE I SAID SO LOL HAVE FUN PS: NO BENEFITS OR VACATION EVER BYEEE

#justiceforpluto2kTHEREARENOTENOUGHYEARSTOGIVEPLUTOJUSTICE

Endymion isn’t affected by the time stop, because of course he fucking isn’t. Pluto becomes Tinkerbelle and sprinkles all the Senshi with pixie dust, which wouldn’t have been my choice if I knew I was going to have Taboo Death in like 90 seconds, but god, let Pluto have one moment for fuck’s sake. THEN EVERYONE SAYS SOME VARIATION OF “TIME HAS STOPPED” LITERALLY TEN TIMES IN SEVEN PAGES YES I COUNTED THEM

DO YOU THINK EVERYTHING’S FROZEN AND TIME HAS STOPPED I DON’T KNOW IT’S UNCLEAR

Endymion’s all “oh noes ultimate taboo” and then flashback Queen Serenity shows up just say “yeah do it and die no reason lolololol”. “Wow, Usagi, your mum’s a bitch,” Minako says, to which Usagi’s only response is two viciously thrust middle fingers.

Pluto’s not quite done yet, though. She implores Usagi to pluck the two ginzuishous from Demande. She does. It’s really easy, and yet still somehow takes like a full page to happen. Pluto’s really happy existence is saved, proving she’s a bigger person than me who would probably just be “fuck all y’all” with my dying breath. “I always wanted to fight at your side,” Pluto says, in a gesture that would probably mean more if she hadn’t just met them like 48 hours ago.

As her final pre-death action, Pluto summons Tiny Kitten from the Gate of Time. And don’t get me wrong, if I had the power, I would probably cover myself in puppies and kittens on my death bed too. And I mean, legit aww here.

BUT NOW THE GATE OF TIME DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING TINY GREY KITTEN GUARDING IT COULD IT BE ANY MORE CLEAR THAT THESE TABOOS ARE SHITE I MEAN IF I’M PLUTO I’M FUCKING FURIOUS RIGHT NOW

Also the cuteness of this scene is ruined by the fact that Pluto is spending her last living moments waxing poetic about Endymion and his purple tux no I am not remotely kidding you.

ALL INCARNATIONS OF MAMORU ARE THE BEST AND BRIGHTEST AND MOST IMPORTANT AND MEANINGFUL HOW ELSE WILL YOU KNOW THAT IF EVERY CHARACTER DOESN’T TELL YOU SO SAILOR MAMORU ON BEHALF OF LILAC HE WILL PUNISH YOU

Pluto apologies for not being able to protect Chibs and then dies. Somehow, someway, I feel I’m supposed to care about this, and yet since the story gave no fucks about Pluto, I don’t see why I should start. I mean, it wasn’t like she was Mamoru or anything.

Black Lady begins to flashback to Pluto, including a weird bit where we see her basically playing flag football and snatching one of Pluto’s keys and then later wistfully saying Pluto gave her one, but okay. Chibs goes on to say she doubts her mother even likes her.

Basically at this point I am prepared to say “Fuck the entire Serenity line”. The manga has made exactly no effort to show that Chibs is wrong. I mean say what you will about the anime, but at least it made it clear that Chibs’ memories were either incomplete or viewed through her own bias, and then further fucked by Wiseman. Here, the only real connection attempted between Chibs and EITHER of her parents was her running at Douchedymion and him not even bothering to try and hug her. NOT EXACTLY STRONG EVIDENCE AGAINST. And one of the only scenes we’ve had with NQS comes right before this:

Neo-Queen Serenity not only questioning whether Chibs should be allowed the SINGLE FRIEND she has, but having the goddamn nerve to maintain this fucking “duty” charade REPEATEDLY PROVEN TO BE UNNECESSARY and only trapping Pluto in a solitary and pointless existence denied even the brief occasional moment of social contact.

FUCK THE SERENITY LINE

GOD THE MANGA PISSES ME OFF

Anyway, Black Lady cries, and this turns her into Sailor Chibi-Moon somehow. I don’t fucking know. Maybe there are three ginzuishous now? Mamoru snaps out of his brainwashing too I guess. IT’S THE KIND OF CLEAR AND SUCCINCT STORYTELLING YOU’VE COME TO EXPECT. Chibs tries to show Pluto her new outfit, but Pluto’s still dead, and it’s difficult at this point to not envy her.

Usagi gets pissed. Things are very gwooo and also a bit gwaaa.

Usagi kills Demande. Sorry, Usagi AND FUCKING MAMORU kill Demande, and I’m looking into the camera so hard right now. PS: This makes likes eight people the good guys have killed in this arc alone and so I completely understand NQS’s future reluctance to kill Death Phantom and instead banish him and forget all about him after he only blew up an entire fucking city and killed untold thousands or even millions of innocent citizens.

Wiseman is revealed (again) to be Death Phantom, and I guess we’re supposed to be surprised by that. He’s also the planet, in a way that makes no sense, but whatever. Usagi vows to protect Earth. The other Senshi say “We will too!” Ha, just kidding, they fucked off for ice cream like three hours ago and no one noticed.

[yetanotherbuffyblog]

Demon assassin!

I had some trouble with my computer playing the DVD from the library. See, sometimes my computer won’t recognize discs in the drive. And sometimes it will, but it won’t play them on one media player so I’ve got to go with another. It’s bloody frustrating, it is.

But I did manage to get it to work, even if the computer had to freak out a couple of times first.

Oh right so I’m doing a two-parter. This is going to take a lot of recapping. Uh...okay. So.

[takes a deep breath]

We begin with Riley and Buffy having a happy start of a serious relationship, which means everyone’s kind of left out of their happy bubble. So Anya, Willow and Xander are playing poker in Xander’s basement, and with a random comment about spanking from Anya (TMI ANYA TMI), Willow feels a bit like she’s third-wheeling.

Buffy during this time is actually not on an official date, though; she’s being tested by the Initiative, and she passes with flying colors. Because of her skillz, Buffy is officially let in, and gets a tour of the facility and security clearance. She asks a bunch of questions and acts less-than-professional though, annoying Walsh. Oh, and we see what’s in room 314 even if Buffy doesn’t (she doesn’t have that clearance): a human/demon/cyborg thing that Walsh calls ‘Adam.’

That has ‘TERRIBLE PLAN’ written all over it.

Spike is being hunted by the Initiative for being a runaway (“Hostile 17” they call him), and they find him, but he escapes. Except they hit him with a tracker so they can find him later.

Willow’s not thrilled with the Initiative, nor with Buffy bringing new Initiative friends along to their friend date at the Bronze. During this they get called to go deal with a demon, and after they tag-team the demon, Buffy and Riley go make some whoopie. Willow, annoyed, goes off and meets Tara. Apparently hanging out all night. Huh.

And Walsh watches Riley and Buffy through planted cameras, which is ten kinds of weird.

Spike runs to Giles��s house for shelter because he’s a wuss. Sadly Riley is called to lead a squad to hunt down “Hostile 17,” while Walsh decides that Buffy’s too much of a hazard, asking too many questions and clouding her best agent (Riley), so she plots to have her killed while Riley’s out. She tells her to do some sort of routine check-up on a reported hostile, only for her to be ambushed, her stun gun to malfunction, and her locked in a room with two demons. Of course, she being a Slayer, she takes them out.

The Scoobies take the tracer out of Spike and they flush it, so Riley’s squad loses the lead. Riley comes back, and Walsh tells her Buffy is dead, rushing off on a mission on her own. Except then Buffy takes the spy camera that fell off her on the fight, and declares she knows that Walsh tried to kill her and she’s pissed. That episode seems like it’s going to end with her going to Giles’s house and declaring that none of them are safe.

But nope! Walsh is in room 314 trying to work out how to fix the situation, how Riley can be persuaded to be okay with her trying to kill Buffy, and how Adam will fix everything. Except Adam wakes up and kills her with the arm of the demon Buffy and Riley took down now grafted onto him.

Oops.

PART DEUCE!

Buffy tells the gang that Walsh tried to kill her. Riley comes in and tries to make sense of what’s going on, only to turn slightly hostile upon seeing Spike and recognizing him as Hostile 17. If Buffy’s sheltering a vampire, what else could she be hiding? They go separate ways, but Buffy’s gang hides out in Xander’s basement (which Giles is NOT happy about).

Then the Initiative finds out about Walsh’s assassination. Riley is informed while talking to his friend Forrest about Walsh trying to kill Buffy (Riley tends to side with Buffy, though he’s confused; Forrest thinks maybe Buffy did something wrong and had it coming). Upon seeing Walsh’s body, Forrest thinks Buffy did it. Riley thinks it’s probably the demon they caught earlier having escaped and puts a squad together to go find it.

And Adam goes and murderizes some kid. Charming fellow.

While Buffy’s investigating, she runs into Riley a couple of times. At first it seems like he’s pretty tightly wound about everything that’s happened, and asks if she’s happy about Walsh’s death (which of course, Buffy isn’t). When Buffy goes to that demon bar place that hasn’t shown up in a while, Riley shows up and gets all itchy because, you know, monsters all over and Buffy’s not fighting them. But he’s all shaky and pulls a gun.

Turns out there’s something seriously wrong with him.

They take him to the Xander Cave, while Xander and Buffy sneak back into Initiative HQ to find some answers. They corner head scientist guy, and find out that the agents are unknowingly given some sort of steroids to make them smarter and stronger--Riley’s going through severe withdrawal. Riley himself arrives, having left the Xander Cave.

Oh and then Adam shows up.

Crap salad!

Adam reveals what he is, and that he’s...well that he’s crazy, but that he has records and personal files that Walsh made. She thought of both Riley and Adam as her crowning achievements, shaping them to be her personal...I dunno, surrogate sons? Adam calls her mother which is weird. Anyhow, they fight, Adam kills head scientist guy, and injures Adam. When the commandos show up, Buffy and Xander can leave, but Riley is taken to an Initiative medical facility, and Buffy is unable to visit him.

And Adam’s still out there somewhere.

Right that was a lot. NOTES!

-According to TV Tropes, Maggie Walsh was going to be the Big Bad of the season, but the actress got cast in a movie or something and had to be written out somehow. And you know TV writers: murder is the simplest solution!

-I’m a bit iffy on Adam as a Big Bad though. He’s...I’m not sure. He’s kind of a downgrade from the Mayor. He’s a good villain, but he’s not in charge of anything. Maybe that’ll change as the season goes on.

-And OF COURSE the Initiative pumps its agents full of steroids! Why the eff not?? What sketchiness will we find out about them next?

-Was that old lady Riley pulled a gun on in the demon bar actually a vampire/monster? It’s not clear. She doesn’t transform or anything. Riley himself says he doesn’t know if it’ll kill her if he pulls the trigger.

-Spike is beaten up by demons because he’s “making war on other demons” and demons killing demons is...bad? Like, if it were him fighting demons for a cause, I get it, hanging out with the Slayer and all. But the demon refuses to kill Spike because that’s against their rules or something. Which...seems stupid. We’ve seen demons kill other demons all the time. It’s not a rule. I mean if it is now, it’s a clear retcon.

-Alright why did Walsh want to kill Buffy? It seems like they wrote it as Buffy was asking too many questions and she thought Buffy was a distraction for Riley. But it’s pretty...well, they basically try to kill her after her first day, and we see no sign that Riley’s actually any worse because of his relationship with Buffy. Seems like a bit of rushed plot to me, but whattaya gonna do?

-Also, the way she tries to kill Buffy shows how little she actually paid attention to her. She locks her in a room with two demons? Who have axes? Please. You’ve seen her fight. Maybe Walsh assumes that Buffy’s stories about her own exploits are exaggerations? It’s still stupid. If you want to kill someone, friggin’ kill them. There are so many ways to have gotten that done that would have been less risky. Rush job all around.

-The tracker would have been harder to identify if it hadn’t been blinking. Really, guys, stop making trackers blink. I know it’s easier for the audience to figure out what it is, but it’s also easy for the characters.

-The Polgara demons and Adam have a spike thing in their wrist? Basically it’s like an organic Hidden Blade and I think that’s kewl. So maybe I should start yelling “ASSASSINATE!” every time Adam stabs someone. Or play this sound.

  -Have Tara and Willow slept together? It’s unclear. Are we supposed to believe that she spent the entire night casting spells? And the TV Tropes recap points out that Willow’s sweater is inside out when she gets back to the dorm room. So…. 

-Riley does mention his “vitamins” but are those the steroids? If so that’s a really obvious way to administer them, but I guess it’s the simplest way to get them to him without accidentally serving them to the wrong person in the cafeteria or something. Still, wouldn’t there be a lot of red flags if you join a branch of the military, and then they hand you some vitamins and demand that you take them daily?

-Xander’s idea to flush the tracer was actually… a really good idea. Smashing it might be too difficult, and they’d still know the general area to look in. Carrying it around would make Xander a target, and outrunning the commandos would be a huge risk. There weren’t any moving trains or things like that nearby, so sticking them there would be too difficult too.

-How many times are we going to bring up the whole ‘Xander was a soldier in that one episode’ thing? Anya lampshades how weird it is that it comes in handy so often.

-Buffy asks what the Polgara demon is after, and the Initiative seems to think that the monster’s just...a stupid animal. Which is stupid. Clearly these demons can talk and communicate and have specific patterns of behavior??? They have bars??? Why would you think they’re not of human-level intelligence???

-Is it just me, or do the guns that the Initiative commandos use look...so fake? Outside of the handguns, maybe, they don’t feel like real guns. It’s weird.

-Spike points out that Buffy’s got terrible taste in men. Although Riley isn’t so bad, and Angel wasn’t bad until he evilified. So basically it’s better than Xander’s taste in women. Seriously, will Anya do anything useful???

-Willow and Tara’s spell is to conjure the goddess Thespia. I don’t know jack about Wicca, but Thespia is a very minor Greek goddess/nymph? Her domain is a specific well. She’s...like a nobody on the divine stage.

-Riley tries desperately to paint Walsh as a brilliant scientist changing the world, but...like, I’m getting Angelopolis flashbacks because at this point it’s pretty clear that she was a Mad Scientist and the whole operation was crazy from the start. I realize that it’s meant to be Riley struggling with his entire world coming out from under his feet so I don’t blame him as much. At least the Initiative didn’t cut as many corners as Jurassic Park.

-Is the Initiative going to get a new leader? Is it going to be someone who isn’t off their rocker? Find out next time!

[pendulumprince]

Aoi confirmed brocon. I've watched enough anime with brocons in it to say she isn't winning the Yusaku bowl, she isn't even in it. This will fall in line with YGO pattern of really gay even numbers. Series 2- Well everyone knows about Judai, Series 4- Canon non het/gay ship, bisexual charater. Series 6- His hair is the bisexual flag and the main girl is basically confirmed 'just friends'. Let's hope Yoshida delvers again.

I’m going to answer both aspects of this a bit separately, if that’s okay.

Aoi having a brother-complex is… concerning, but not a death sentence. This is a show marketed for children so I doubt we’ll get the incest aspect. It seems that Aoi feels ignored by Akira, and created Blue Angel in part to receive the attention she’s lacking. But she’ll provably still vie for Akira to acknowledge her.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with this. The Zaizen parents haven’t been mentioned yet; knowing YGO, there’s a good chance they’re dead. If so, that would leave Akira as Aoi’s only family, and who wouldn’t want to receive attention from their sole living relative? And seeing as he’s so successful, she probably also looks up to him.

Nothing wrong with that, either. I think the best way to take this brother-complex thing would be if an emphasis is placed on Aoi admiring her brother and wanting to be like him. To receive attention, to be relied on, to be considered important—and therefore, believing that Akira ignores her because she hasn’t reached his ‘level’. Because while Blue Angel is beloved, is she really vital to anything? Not in-universe—at least, not yet. But the plot demands that she will be, and that (combined with Akira acknowledging her) could be what helps her grow out of her complex towards him.

But, you know, that’s just me wishing for the best *is braced for the worst*

Now, this negatively effecting Aoi’s chances with Yusaku…? It probably does, no matter if the writers go the ‘best’ possible way with her brother-complex or the worst. Because she admires Akira, he’s probably the standard by which she judges all other people, especially potential boyfriends. Sure, Yusaku is good and talented and intelligent, but is he still those things in relation to Akira? An objective opinion would say yes, or maybe; but if Aoi’s brother-complex is strong, her answer will likely be no. Yusaku just won’t measure up in her eyes, no matter his positive attributes.

That, and… from a meta standpoint, as you said, this is an even numbered YGO series. Shin Yoshida is at the helm. We’re due for more gay, especially after the heterofest that was Arc V. 

Personally, I don’t know if I ship Yusaku with Aoi yet. I don’t mind the way they look aesthetically together, so that’s a start. But we also have Yusaku’s established bond with Shoichi, his implied bond with Shoichi’s brother, and his guarenteed-to-be-romantic bond with male-coded Ignis. 

And I mean that last statement: Yusaku/Ignis is damn-near guaranteed. I’ve been going on these past few weeks about the virtues of Shosaku and Gosaku, but… Ignis is Yusaku’s partner. And what kinds of relationships have previous protags had with their partners…? Romantic ones. 

Yubel literally used the word ‘ashiteru’ to describe their feelings for Judai, and Judai promised that his love would solely belong to Yubel in turn. Astral confessed romantically to Yuma in the Zexal manga; from what I’ve been told, their relationship was all-but-canon in the anime. So despite the way their relationship is starting out, Ignis developing feelings for Yusaku is extremely likely. Those feelings being returned by Yusaku is also extremely likely. 

And then, hey, if Shoichi hasn’t already filled up the spot, a future character might prove to be Yusaku’s ‘Johan’. I know the archetype was deconstructed with Dennis, but that doesn’t mean Vrains can’t come back and play it straight. So the guy for Yusaku might be someone we have’t met yet. 

And most importantly: like you said, his hair is the bisexual flag. That’s all the proof I need lmao

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Anticipate/Neutral/Dread

Going through the anime, it’s curious to see my baseline gut reactions to what’s next on the docket. Maybe this is just my own way of seeing things, but I often have an aversion to anime I’ve been watching - maybe I know it’ll demand a kind of emotional investment (It wants my fucks, and I have so few fucks to give; can I really afford to spend them here?). Like exercise, it’s quite rare I’ll get into a show and be unable to watch while it’s showing. I’m generally okay once it’s playing, no matter how bland or how over-the-top. But here are my responses to a bunch of what I’m watching now.

Ranma 1/2 is neutral. I’ve seen and read the whole dang thing - all of it. So it’s very relaxed, and has the occasional nostalgic moment as I see a scene I’d forgotten (remember the science club guys who try to kill Ranma during his first battle vs Ryoga? I didn’t), but it isn’t going to show me anything actually new.

Aldnoah Zero is interesting because it fluctuates. It has episodes that hit and others that miss, because it’s a drama. Sometimes the drama is affective (yes I spelled that correctly) but nonetheless induces the desire to avoid the series, because I’m just not in the mood to spend emotional energy on that kind of thing, you know? Other times it gets self-obsessed with how clever its science is and forgets to make the narrative carry our mood at the same time. Coming up on the end, I’m interested to see the last 2 episodes, so right now it’s in the “anticipate” category. But it did have several episodes where I twinged and went, “really? More of this?” before holding my nose to gulp it down (metaphorically).

Hell Girl is probably going to be lightly dreaded every episode. As I said yesterday, it’s not aimed at being a fun show to watch. Interesting, artful, frequently badass...but “fun” isn’t the aim. And as a show focusing its camera on cruelty it’s a little more taxing than most.

Hayate the Combat Butler conversely will probably never be a nuisance, unless I get two seasons in and they suddenly run out of budget (I remember Ranma had a cringeworthy season or 2 where they farmed out the animation to a cheaper studio and you could really see it). This is the longest series I’d never seen any of before I started this binge, at 103 episodes. I like it!

Hyperdimension Neptunia is almost constantly in the dread category. The mix of kiddie, saccharine, and sexual seems...basically like there’s no target age that doesn’t assume something’s wrong with the viewer. It’s got great comedy, a reasonably interesting story, and lovely animation. So...I wish it weren’t subtly repulsive?

Blessing of the Campanella is very similar but somehow just slightly less offensive to me. I’m neutral toward it, as a series. Somehow it reminds me of Winnie the Pooh: So sweet and kid-friendly that not quite enough can happen to keep me invested for a whole episode. Actually, the opening theme song also reminded me of the Indigo Girls’ cover of the Winnie the Pooh theme.

Sailor Moon is neutral. Some of this is from its age; If something’s offensive then, as with vintage animation, I can sort of shrug and say, “Yeah, it was a product of its time.” I haven’t quite seen all of this, but I have seen a lot before. It’s quite a blast to see some of the weird quirks (For the first 2 episodes, Jadeite’s theme was this weird jazz number. They changed it out for something more sinister from E3 on), but there’s enough that’s samey about the “monster of the day” format that I can’t really be champing at the bit for the next ep of Sailor Moon. At least, not yet (I’m in Season 1). I’m willing to give it time to grab me. I mean, a lot of people agree that Star Trek: TNG is an okay show for 2 seasons and only becomes a GREAT show somewhere in the middle of S3. Also it’s so weird seeing the original S1 opener, with only 3 Senshi.

Dream Eater Merry is...neutral, I guess? By rights I should be SUPER into this series. The visuals are clever and well-crafted and moody, and the story has this adjacent dream world that seems like exactly the kind of thing I’d love. Somehow it’s just not coming together. It’s so busy selling mood that it’s just a little unfocused story-wise, and the dreamlike quality of the visuals is constant/random, which means it can’t be used to help draw attention to important details.

Black Bullet is also neutral. It feels so obsessed with copying clever ideas from the big hits that it failed to commit fully to having its own identity. Those ideas are clever, so the show’s pretty fun to watch, but it feels less distinctive than, say, Bleach - even though Bleach followed a lot of very predictable plots (and the super-speed vs swarming mass fight was a near-direct copy from Gaara v Lee). It’s also got this tone issue where it wants to be a light harem comedy and a grimdark Attack on Titan style “last of humanity” story and...can’t. Sorry. They undercut each other, and doing both in the same episode just makes both elements feel weak. They don’t feel like people trying to maintain a light harem situation to deal with the pain or ignore the terror; They feel like people who are in a light situation, until the writers bring up the imminent threat of death again. It’s clumsy.

Because I Don’t Like My Big Brother At All is dreaded. Every time. It’s started resorting to punching down, in its comedy, and it started off in a bad place  since it’s...y’know...about a girl’s obsession with the idea of underage incest? It’s had some laugh-out-loud humor, but it feels like it’s getting weaker over time as they have to reach farther afield for new jokes.

The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-Chan is anticipated every time. I’ve been ticked at characters here and there but it’s always been because I’ve cared about what’s going on. The narrative is strong and the visuals and sound design aren’t just gorgeous but supportive of that narrative.

Monogatari is also a fave. It’s got that supernatural element that I was talking about being a green flag for me re: Dream Eater Merry, and it has the unique series identity missing from Black Bullet. It’s stylized in a way I’ve...only really seen when watching episodes of Monogatari. In a world where people say “there are no new stories under the sun,” that’s worth a lot. The story moves super-slow, but the banter moves lightning-fast, so you (or at least, I) don’t have time to get bored by the broader pacing. And the different opening for each issue really investigates the interaction between opening song and viewer’s understanding of story - especially the way it changes in the final 5 episodes of S1 (the song stays the same but the animation shifts, as new info has come to light).

Cowboy Bebop is one I’m not allowed to dislike. Fortunately I love it. I think it was episode 6 or 7 it had a commercial-cut image that said, “The Work, which will become a genre of its own, will be called Cowboy Bebop.” And I was like, Yeah. They earned that. It’s gorgeous, with art and sound and editing/direction that all holds up decades later, and moreover I’ve never seen it. It’s all new to me.

The Asterisk War is a harem show and kind of a fluff piece, but it’s fun and I do consistently want to see the next episode. It earns it with good, believable multi-note characters and world-building that feels coherent rather than patched-on-as-necessary.

Black Cat is the reason I started writing this review...thing. I dread it and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the emotionless male lead? It’s only been a few episodes, though, so I’ll let it go and see how things progress once the band actually forms up (something the opening sets you up to anticipate).