#no the fuck we are not. my ancestors did not come from there they were from russia. not how that works

[drumlincountry]

EVERY fantasy book EVERY scifi novel every starwars movie every post apocalyptic show. I ask, WTF??? The same same question EVERY time. Say it with me - WHERE’S THE FARMING?

[wehdile]

if people keep using Is/ra/el/i and J/e/w interchangbly, I'm going to scream.

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[i-cant-sing]

TIME TRAVELER AU PT 2

Original post/idea here. Part 1 is here. Part 3 is here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

I fucked up.

You thought as you sat on the bed, holding your head in your hands.

I fucked up so baaaaaad.

Not only have you healed Baldwin of his leprosy, forever changing history of the LEPER KING, but also managed to somehow be his bride. To make matters EVEN worse, you cant just up and leave right now because you dont know the disastrous effects it'll have on the future now that Baldwin wont die of leprosy, which means that the kingdom of Jerusalem wont fall to Salauddin and his muslim army and after that its just a domino effect.

You tried to view your options here.

I stay here, marry Baldwin and fuck up the fabric of time and space because how can someone from the future marry someone from the past? Wouldnt I cease to exist?

I leave, return to my time where authorities arrest me for fucking around with time- that is, if I even exist in the future now that I've altered history. Who knows if my ancestors survived/were born after this?

No. Neither option is good. I need to stay here and fix this. But in a way that i dont draw too much attention to myself so that im so insignificant that nobody remembers, let alone writes about me in the history books.

You were drawn out of your thoughts with someone knocking on your door. "Come in." You said, straightening yourself.

A couple of servants walked in, all women. "Princess Y/n." They all courtesied. "We've been sent here by his majesty to prepare you for dinner with him."

Princess? Ah yes. Only a couple of hours ago, Baldwin had proposed to you, I guess the concept of asking wasnt a thing here as he just slipped on the big beautiful ring on your finger.

You narrowed your eyes at them. "First of all, Im not a princess. You will address me as Y/n only. And secondly, Im not going to join him for dinner, so there's no need to prepare me" The maids all shared a look of confusion before the head servant spoke.

"But we cant address you as anything else until you wed the king, after which you will be our queen, princess."

"Didnt I just tell you not to call me princess? Just call me Y/n!" The head maid shook her head. "Princess, we can not do that. If we do, then we would be punished. And we must prepare you for dinner with his majesty!" The maids moved ahead to start helping you but you raised a hand, halting them.

"I said, no." You said sternly.

"What... what will we tell the king, princess? He's expecting you-"

"Tell him i cant come because Im sic- no, Im not feeling well and Id like to be alone." You cant say "sick" in this era, because that means "death sentence" here and you dont want to be fretted over and bring attention to yourself as "the king's fiancee got SICK!". Besides, you do need to be away from Baldwin as much as possible and have some time to plot your moves.

-

You had pulled out your notebook and began writing out dates and historic events of this era to plan your escape. You're trying to find some sort of shortcut where Baldwin gets sick again and dies, leaving his kingdom in the hands of his sister and brother in law, who will bring its downfall-

Someone knocked on your door gently. "Princess?" You quickly hid your notebook. "Come in."

Baldwin walked inside and towards you, eyes worried as they scanned you up and down.

"I heard you're not feeling well?" He asked and before you had a chance to back away, he had cupped your cheeks in his hands tenderly. "What's wrong? Shall I fetch the royal physician?"

"No." You replied with your face smushed in his hands. "I'm fine." You pulled your face away his large hands.

Confusion spread through his blue orbs. "Then why did you not join me for dinner?" He asked, using a hand to push your hair over your ear, not taking the hint that you didn't want him touching you.

"I just-" what possible excuse could you come up with that would be both effective and not insulting enough to have your head chopped off. "you- you dont care about me."

Baldwin looked at you in bewilderment. "I dont... care about you? Princess, how can you say that?" He tried to cup your cheek again but you backed away before he could, putting on a face of hurt.

"How can I not? You dont care about what I want, or even ask me what I need?" You feingned pain in your voice, turning away from him for dramatic effect.

He grabbed your shoulders and turned you towards him, his pupils grew wide as if trying to search for what it is that you need. "My love, what do you want? Just say the word, and I'll give it to you."

You looked down, again for the theatrics, and Baldwin lifted your chin. "Go on."

"You never- never asked me to marry you."

"Huh? But I did today-"

"No, you stated it- demanded I marry you." You furrowed your brows and looked down again.

Baldwin smiled. Of course, how could he have not asked you? You were a girl after all, you want to be courted the traditional way. Its not your fault that you dont know that kings do not ask permission for things. They just get it, because who would refuse to marry a king?

He kissed your forehead, lifting your chin again to meet his eyes. "Im sorry, princess. I shouldve asked." He took your hands in his and had that charming smile again. "Will you marry me, Y/n?"

"No." You shook your head. "I... I cant marry you, your majesty." You said, adding tears into your eyes. His brows furrowed in concern.

"What? Why?" You tried pulling your hands away but he didnt let go, tightening his grip ever so slightly.

"I-" well, you could say that youre not catholic and the church would never let you two get married, but you also dont wanna be tortured for being a "heretic". Maybe religious differences could be the last plan. Taking your silence as hesitance, Baldwin spoke. "I can offer you everything and more. Jerusalem would be yours. What is it that I lack that anyone else could offer?"

"I am not a good match for you!" Ah yes, lets do the typical "its not you, its me." You bit your lip as you yanked your hands out of his and walked towards the window, your back to him (theatrics). "You and I are not equals- no we are nowhere close! Youre a king, your father was a king, your family is royalty. I come from nothing, as did my ancestors. There will never be stability in our marriage when we come from such different backgrounds!" You never thought that you would be putting yourself down and call yourself "inferior" to break up with a man.

Silence hung in the air, as you held your breath.

"Youre right." You heard him say behind you. "We are not equals, we never will be." For some reason, instead of being relieved, a chill ran down your spine. Baldwin wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. "I may be a king, but youre far superior to me. You're an angel, sent to me by God, and you saved me. I wouldnt be king anymore if you werent here, princess."

Warmth spread from your cheeks to the tip of your ears, both due to the close proximity and his words. Sensing your bashfulness, he chuckled, kissing your cheek as he turned you around to face him. You could hear your own heart beat at how close he was.

Baldwin tilted his head, half lidded eyes staring at you. "Youre everything and more that I could ask for, princess. Never put yourself down and compare yourself to me, hm?" He said, giving your arms a gentle squeeze before moving away, but not detaching himself completely as he took ahold of your hand and looked back at you.

"Now that this is settled, let us go eat. I've had the servants prepare a feast for us and then we can discuss wedding arrangements-" shit shit shit shit shit fuck it!

"I'm not catholic!" Baldwin halted at that. You've already said it, might as well dig yourself a deeper hole. You let the tears form in your eyes. "Im... Muslim. I didnt tell you because I didnt want you to think I was working for Salauddin and spying on you for him, you know I wasnt! I really did only want to know about you. Please believe me, I wasnt-"

"I believe you."

What? Just like that.

"You- you believe me?" You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Once again, Im sorry i didnt tell you I was a Muslim, but dont worry, I'll pack my things and leave tonight-"

"Why? We still have to get married."

You blinked slowly. "But... Im Muslim?"

Baldwin shrugged. "So? It doesnt change anything."

You looked at him in bafflement. "It does! It changes everything! We cant get married! Im a Muslim! The church wont allow interfaith marriages, and I dont intend on converting to catholicism either if thats what youre suggesting!"

"I am not suggesting that. You can be a muslim if you want to, but we're still getting married." Baldwin stated matter of factly.

"The church wont allow it-"

"The church will do as I say. I am the head of the church. Besides-" He smiled.

"I dont remember angels having to prove themselves to be a catholic. You saved my life, you cured my incurable disease. As far as the church is concerned, youre a miracle sent to me by God. Youre the Chosen One!"

Is he... is he hearing himself? Can you try to convince him?

"But... but Jerusalem deserves a Catholic Queen-" you tried weakly, but he cupped your cheek and smiled gently at you.

"I am Jerusalem, Y/n. And I deserve you." Was all he said before pecking your forehead.

He tugged you along with him. "Now, we have to eat."

You dont want to eat. You want to stay behind and think of another strategy because clearly you cant talk yourself out of this wedding.

"I'm- I'm not hungry." You said, making him frown.

"How is that possible? You havent had anything since morning. I dont want you getting sick before the wedding." Baldwin continued to pull you along.

Does he not listen?

"I dont want to eat- I- dont feel like it." You said a bit harshly this time, hoping he'd take the hint.

And he did, finally stopping. He sighed and let go of your hand. "Okay. I suppose if you really dont want to, we can skip dinner tonight." Fucking finally. "Its just... I seem to have developed a habit of enjoying meals with you. And now that my leprosy is cured and I have no more diet restrictions, I just- I had the kitchen prepare some of my favourite dishes that I was able to enjoy before my disease disabled me."

You stared at him. Is he- is he trying to guilt trip you? Baldwin once told you that due to leprosy he had ulcers in his mouth, and he couldnt eat different types of food, and was only able to have bland, soft goo.

You looked away from his big sad eyes. He's not getting to you. You need to go back to your room, make yourself scarce, be far away from him as often as possible.

"You can still go and eat dinner alone."

With one hand, he cupped your cheek. "Princess, you know I cant eat until you eat too. But its okay, if you dont want to eat, then I wont too. I guess I'll just have the servants finish the chicken roast and oh-! They even made strawberry cream cake for dessert. But- maybe another day."

You looked into his eyes, those blue orbs that were filled with sadness, resembling a kid who was just told "no candy!"

Sighing, you held his hand. "Maybe I can have a few bites."

His face lit up. Ah, he knew you'd come around. "Lets go!"

-

The next day, youre helped by the maids to get ready for the day. Apparently, Sibylla wanted to meet you and discuss some things, and you suspect she wants to talk about the wedding preprations.

The maids had prepared your bath and were very insistent on washing you themselves but you made them all leave the bath chambers. Finally, they compromised when you told them that they could dress you up if they wait outside.

Setting your old clothes on the bed, you entered the bathroom and settled into the warm water. The essential oils and flower petals soothed your mind and body, and you finally had some desperately needed silence to hear your own thoughts.

Last night at dinner, Baldwin was very- well, "happy" would be an understatement to how he felt near you. And all those forehead kisses and skin contact doesnt go unnoticed by you either. You suppose that since he had leprosy, he never really had or was allowed to touch anyone else. But now that hes cured, all thanks to your dumb ass, he craves the physical intimacy.

You closed your eyes as you sank deeper into the warm water. Gosh, did I really have to give him the water? Had I not done that, he would still be ridden with lepro-

Your eyes snapped open. Thats it. You just have to make sure he never drank your water in the first place! Yes! You can go back in time and sure, its always dangerous to go back in the same time period more than once, but you really dont have any other option now, do you?

After half an hour, you finally exited the bathroom and the maids practically ushered you to sit in the chair as they finally, FINALLY got to dress up the future queen of Jerusalem and after a whole hour, they're finally done. And... well you look good. Your hair has been done nicely, and a delicate golden headpiece, almost like a elegant hair band sits on top of your head. They added some color to your cheeks and lips with crushed berries. As for your clothes, they dressed you in a dark blue tunic with loose, flowing sleeves. The tunic itself was made of silk, probably brought in from the Byzantine empire and was only available to the upperclass of this time.

"I am not wearing those!" You said when they opened the jewellery boxes. There were diamonds and other precious stones adorning the earrings and necklaces.

"But princess, you must wear these. It is royal protocol for the king's bride to be, and the future queen to wear the royal jewels." The head maid said. She doesnt know that you dont plan on sticking around and if you leave wearing these jewels, who knows what havoc would that cause?

"No. I dont want to wear them."

The maids shared a look of concern. "What?" You asked them.

"Its just... his majesty picked these out for you himself. He would be mad at us if you were not wearing these." One of the younger servants spoke as she fumbled with her fingers. Through the mirror, you looked at everyone's worried expression. You doubt that someone as calm and collected as Baldwin would lose his marbles over his fiancee not wearing jewellery.

"I dont think the king would be mad at you if I dont wear some jewellery. He isnt one to get angry that easily, you know?" You said chuckling, but it died when you saw them share the same concerned looks again. This time, you turned away from the mirror to look at them directly. "What? Go on, no secrets."

Another maid mustered up the courage to mumble. "Well- it's just- the king- I mean- his majesty is calm but um-" she paused to look at the other maids for help but they all avoided eye contact. "Out with it." You said a bit sternly.

"His majesty... gets... emotional- yes, emotional! When it comes to matters concerning you."

"Emotional? What do you mean? Speak clearly, no word will get out of this room, I promise." You spoke all while glaring at the other maids to make them silently comply to not tattle on their friend.

The maid bit her lip. "His majesty... gets mad when he thinks that you're not being treated well." You gave her a look to continue. "A few weeks back, while you were strolling out in the garden, his majesty reprimanded some of his knights for not escorting you. He asked them why they weren't guarding you?"

A few weeks back? It may have made some sense for Baldwin to be protective of his bride to be, but you two weren't engaged until yesterday. And before that, his relationship with you was barely platonic, more like a king-servant thing.

"Tell her about the kitchen incident too." Another maid whispered.

"What kitchen incident?"

"Um, 2 months ago, when the kitchen had prepared a feast for his majesty, he almost fired the entire kitchen staff for serving olives with the entree." You gave them a quizzical look. "Well, his majesty had told them that you can't eat olives and had told them not to include it in the palace's food. But it was a feast to celebrate his victory and the staff thought it'd be best to add olives because the king likes them."

Your eyes widened at that. He almost fired the kitchen staff because you said you can't eat olives? I mean, it's not like you're deathly allergic, you just didn't like how tart they were and when Baldwin saw you picking them out on your plate, all you could manage to blurt out was that you can't eat them. Perhaps, he thought you had diet restrictions like him.

You huffed. That still didnt warrant such a reaction from him. "That isn't nice. Don't worry, I'll talk to him."

The maid looked at you in horror. "No! I mean, his majesty would not like that we- um..." she tried to come up with appropriate words that wouldn't be insulting. Her scrunched up face as she thought hard made you giggle.

"Fine, fine. I won't say anything to him. You have my word." You said, smiling at them assuringly.

The head maid then held out the pearl necklace to you. You sighed and nodded, and they all cheered as they started picking out the jewels for you.

Its okay. You told yourself. I can always drop them somewhere before time travelling.

-

As soon as you were dressed, one of Sibylla's lady-in-waiting came to fetch you. She hurried you, saying something along the lines of "you must see princess Sibylla right away!" And you couldn't stop her from pulling you along, so time travelling will have to wait.

"Princess Sibylla needs to see you right away, princess!" The maid said as she pulled you towards a room. Knocking on it, the door swung open and you were met with the sight of different gowns hanging on dummies with maids tending to them, and right in the center of the room was Sibylla, practically jumping on her heels.

"Y/n!" She yelled out as she ran towards you and engulfed you in a hug before her lady in waiting, the same one standing beside you, cleared her throat. It caught Sibylla's attention who gasped softly before backing away and immeadiately giving you a courtesy. "I mean, princess Y/n." You gave a nasty look to the lady in waiting before shaking your head at an embarrassed Sibylla. "You don't need to courtesy to me, princess Sibylla."

She immeadiately beamed. "Of course I do! You're not going to be just my sister in law, you're also going to be Queen of Jerusalem! Of course i bow to you."

Me, a queen? Yeah, we'll see about that.

"Still, I consider us friends before anything else." You offerer her a small smile. "You called for me?"

"Oh? Oh, yes!" She immeadiately grabbed your hand and pulled you further into the room. "I didn't know what colours and material you preferred, so I ordered them to bring everything with the best seamstresses in kingdom!" She pointed at the seamstresses, who bowed to you.

"But... I don't need clothes. I already have a wardrobe." Your statement made Sibylla laugh as did a few of her hand maidens.

"Ahh, you're so naive!" Sibylla giggled. "That wardrobe doesn't exist anymore. You're a princess, soon to be queen, you need a royal wardrobe!" She said as she dragged her hand over one of the gowns, feeling the material. "And! You still have to select your bridal gown!"

For the next 3 hours, Sibylla had the maids show you different gowns and materials, even helping by giving her input as to what would suit you.

"I still like my old clothes, they're quite comfortable." You sighed. Designing your new wardrobe was not something that needed your urgent attention at the moment. You need to return to your room and get the time machine from your old dress and leave this era.

Sibylla nods. "I understand what you're going through. I still remember how they burned away my entire wardrobe when I married Guy. But I suppose its poetic in a way. Since you're starting a new life, so why not start one by getting new clothes!"

Wait.

"They burnt all your old clothes?" Sibylla nods. "Mmhmm! In a way, you're burning away your past! And starting a new-" You didn't stick around as you immeadiately rushed out of the room and made your way towards your own.

You can't- your old clothes has your time machine. If they burn it, you can't ever leave!

You burst into your room, looking at the empty spot on your bed where you'd left your clothes before going in the bath.

"No." The maids, they must've put it in your closet. You searched it, searched your entire room but to no avail.

A maid walked into your room, watching you tear apart the bedroom. "P-princess? May I help-"

"Where are my clothes?!" You walked upto her, the poor maid's fright apparently on her face. "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?"

"They- they're burning it-"

"WHERE?!"

"The gardens!"

You ran out of your room, and made your way towards the royal gardens as fast as you could, but with how huge this palace was, getting there took a while. Not to mention when you did get to the gardens, you didn't spot anyone there, but you did notice the smell of something burning, which lead you to the back of the gardens, that was away from everyone's sight.

There you found them, two maids burning your clothes in a small bonfire.

"PUT IT OUT!" You yelled as you rushed towards them, startling them.

"Princess-" they began bowing.

"Didn't you hear me? PUT THE FIRE OUT!" They scrambled about trying to find some water, but of course, they didn't have it.

"I'll get it from the fountain!" The two maids ran to get a bucket of water for you, but it would be too late by the time they came. So when you spotted your old dress burning, you pulled it out with bare hands, not caring about burning yourself.

The dress was mostly burnt to ashes, while only few bits remained that were still on fire. You managed to wrangle out your time machine out of it, the small metal box that was burning hot and left marks on your skin as you tried to hold it.

But even from here, you could see the damage was done. The area that displayed the year had now completely melted off, as did some of the buttons.

No. No. No. No. No. NO!

You couldn't help but cry as reality began to set in. You're stuck here.... you're stuck here forever.

Heart wrenching sobs wracked your body as you tried to hold the hot metal machine in your hands, your skin burning as you tried. Even when the servants came and poured the water on the fire, you still kept on crying, clutching your machine to your chest, partly to conceal it, partly from helplessness.

The maids looked at each in worry as they tried to console you, tried to pacify you, lest you had them executed. But it didn't matter, you were inconsolable. While one of the maids sat by your side, trying to soothe you, the other one ran in to get help.

Moments later, when you were able to hide the machine in your clothes again, someone came up and touched your shoulder from behind.

"Y/n?" You looked up through your tears. It was Baldwin. For some reason, seeing him only made you cry harder as you finally realised that you were stuck here with him. That you fucked up permanently.

"Oh princess. What's wrong? Don't cry- shhh, I'm here." He pulled your body towards him, letting you sob into his chest heartbreakingly. Exhaustion, frustration and shock must have overtook your body, as you fainted in his arms.

"Princess? Y/n?" He tried waking you up before collecting you in his arms and rushing back into the castle.

-

Hours later, you woke up to find yourself back in your room, lying in your bed. Your eyes looked down at your hands which were now wrapped in bandages. They only served as a reminder of what youd lost- your time machine.

Tears welled up in your eyes again. Am I- am I really stuck here? You sniffled.

A hand came up to caress your cheek, startling you.

It was Baldwin. "Princess? Do you want to tell me what happened?" His soft tone made you even more sad, and you raised your bandaged hands to wipe your tears, but he caught your wrists and lowered them back gently, using his own hands to wipe away the tears.

"No, you cant use your hands for sometime. The burns need to heal." His hand remained on your cheek, thumb caressing the area under your eye. "What happened, Y/n? Why were you so upset?"

You cant avoid the topic for long, and now that your way of escape is gone, you need to be careful of what you say and how you act around the king.

You let out a shaky breath. "They... they burned my clothes."

"Mmhm. Dont worry, I will have them bring in the fanciest clothes for you. Sibylla will make sure of it. Only the best for my princess." You shook your head. "Its not- its not that... They were my clothes... they burned away-"

"I know... but its a tradition. The maids burn away the bride-to-be's old clothes to signify that youre detaching yourself from the past and starting a new life." He explained, watching as you sniffled. Clearly, you were still upset over this.

"But the maids, they still should've informed you of this tradition before doing anything. I know how emotional of a transition this could be for girls." You nodded sadly, heart still sinking at the loss of your machine. "Dont worry though, they will be punished harshly for it. I have them in the dungeons tonight, and tomorrow-"

"What? Punished? No!" You cut him off. You dont want anyone to die because of you, especially when you dont know if anyone these people could potentially be an ancestor of yours.

"But they caused you harm. You burned yourself due to their-"

"No, no. Please, don't punish anyone- I- it was my fault for not knowing about royal traditions! Please, your Majesty, I beg you- don't do this- i- i-" You pleaded.

"Shhh, okay. Okay. I won't punish them for it." He patted your hair. "On one condition."

You looked at him in confusion.

"You call me Baldwin from now on." He grinned. "We are to be husband and wife soon, I don't want us to use royal titles with each other."

Your eyes widened. Is he- is he really giving up titles? You're not that blind to see his attempts at intimacy, but what you don't understand is why or even how you came to be on the receiving end of it.

What exactly is it about you that has made him want to marry you? Surely, Baldwin would've preferred to marry someone of this era, someone who is more compatible with him. Despite you trying to blend in the past months, you allowed Baldwin to see how you're not... as Conservative as most people of this time period are. One could say that he may be impressed by how intelligent you are than others, but it also brings up the factor of being "threatened" or "insulted" by the same intelligence.

Even though you consider beauty to be a "subjective" thing, the whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", you're not blind to how attractive others are. So why not them?

Did he only like you because you're intriguing? Does he still think you're a spy? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?

Probably. Or maybe he really does believe all that mumbo jumbo about you being "an angel sent to save him."

"As you wish... Baldwin."

-

Last night, after Baldwin had left you to rest, you stayed up and tried to figure out if you can fix your time machine, and if not, then can you built another one?

Fucking hell. You closed your eyes. I made it once, I can build it again. But it's easier said than done.

Back in the present, you had the technology to build it. Now? You have to first make the technology and the tools from scratch before you could even get on making your time machine, all while keeping your science project discrete, which was easier before because you weren't going to be married to a fucking King!

Right now, you're sitting in Baldwin's private dining room (yes, there are more than one dining room. He's royalty, what did you expect) having breakfast- well, being fed breakfast.

"You really don't need to do this." You said as Baldwin fed you another spoonful. He smiled as he wiped your lips with a napkin. "I don't need to, I want to. Besides, I don't want my princess starving."

Involuntary, your face flushed. "I- the maids could've fed me. And im not a princess." He frowned slightly. "Why would you- open wide, princess- why would you want the maids to feed you when you have me?" He pushed the spoon to your face as you parted your lips, but then he pulled it away and brought his face close to yours. "Do I make you nervous?"

You backed away immediately. "I- no- I mean-"

He burst out laughing. "I'm- I'm sorry princess, but you are just too endearing!" Baldwin chuckled as he grabbed the spoon again and fed you.

Your cheeks reddened, this time more out anger than embarrassment. "I don't want to eat anymore." You muttered, turning your face away.

He smiled as he brought the spoon to your lips again. "Ah ah, but you still haven't had enough." However, you rejected again, looking away instead of replying.

He sighed, placing the spoon back on the plate. "I'm sorry, princess. I shouldn't have laughed at you."

"You shouldn't have." You mumbled, face still turned away from him.

His lips quirked up a bit. "You know, for someone who insists that she's not a princess-" He turned your face to him gently. "- you sure have all the blandishment of one."

"Blandishment?"

"Flattering actions of a princess." He nodded.

You frowned. "Are you calling me a spoiled princess? A brat?"

"I would never!" Baldwin gasped. "I enjoy you acting like royalty, demanding respect and attention. You deserve it and more. Besides-" He picked up some food on the spoon again and brought it to your lips. "Even if if you were a spoiled, bratty princess, I wouldn't mind. I would enjoy spoiling you, hm?" He nudged the spoon to your lips softly.

You parted your lips, making him smile. It really is hard to stay mad at him when he looks at you with his baby blue eyes. They just- they draw you in.

"Also, before I forget, I will be leaving the castle today to meet Salauddin. So you can either hand out with Sibylla, who still wants to help you design your wedding gown, or your can-"

Salauddin? "Why are you meeting Salauddin? Isn't he your enemy?"

He chuckled. "Only on the battlefield. He and I have developed a friendship, or a mutual respect over the years. As to why I'm going to meet him, is... well, you."

"Me?" He nodded. "Since you told me that you're a Muslim, I thought that we could perhaps have a discreet Islamic wedding- what is it called? Nikkah? So, I could go and learn more about it from Salauddin."

You opened your mouth to protest. You don't need to be part of history as the "king of Jerusalem's Muslim wife" or "the Muslim-Christian wedding that took place during the Crusades", even if it might make the world more progressive.

But then, you didn't protest. "Can I come?"

Baldwin raised a brow at you. "You want to meet Salauddin?" You shook you're head. "Well, no, not really. I mean, I don't mind meeting him, but I just want to get out of the castle for a bit. It's been months since i left this place, I just want to get some fresh air." This could be the perfect opportunity for you, because if memory serves you right, Muslims of this era had made significant advances in science. Maybe you can use their help to get some tools to make the time machine again.

Baldwin looked unsure. "I don't know if it would be safe for you-" you held his hand with your bandaged ones. "Please, Baldwin? Can't you take me with you? And wouldn't I be the most safe when I'm with you?" Ah yes, stroke the male ego.

Finally, he smiled.

"Alright. I supposed it would be fine, after all, you should see the kingdom you're going to be the queen of."

Thoughts? (Also, I need to go shower rn, so I'll put the read more later. Doing so much effort for u guys, my spoiled greedy children)

Part 3 is here.

[peppertoastuniverse]

pep reads: gojo satoru – long fics (pt.1)

Part 2

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☆ the way you love me by @peachsayshi [AO3/tumblr] [status: ongoing ◦ 29/? chapters] [smut!] [fwb!gojo] #pep's first fic she was OBSESSED with #real good good smut WITH FEELINGS

“We can stop anytime. If either one of us feels like... this ...might be too much. We stop, no questions .” “We can stop anytime,” Gojo repeated “... and nothing changes between us .” You swallowed hard at his last statement. You may not be able to read his eyes but you could hear it in his voice that he needed reassurance. “No matter what happens, we’ll still be friends...” you replied softly, “now kiss me before I change my mind.”

☆ you and me by tomodachi [AO3: ] [status: completed ◦ 5/5 chapters] [tear jerker] [eventual smut!] #pep cried #gojo just kinda loves you real hard

“Prisoners say the most comical things when their judgment comes,” you tilt your head, lifting a finger before him, “Who are you?"

--- History is written by the winners, Satoru knew this well. It was only when he lost and got sealed inside the Prison Realm he learned how to be weak and find out a long buried truth.

☆ ito by peekamatcha [AO3] [status: ongoing ◦ 48/? chapters] [super slow burn] [shinto elements] #pep DIES with every update #the TWIST in that one chapter omg

You, a former sorcerer now working as a university lecturer, were hoping to maintain your distance with the sorcerer world for an eternity to come. However, with the reappearance of an upperclassmen from a decade ago, you are forced to go on a journey which you would rather sit out of. But somebody must save humanity from the impending apocalypse and apparently the job falls on the shoulders of you two.

It would have been alright had he not been everything you didn’t want to be reminded of. And the sacrifices to be made may be more than what had been bargained for. ☆moonlight by @septembersummer [AO3/tumblr:] [status: completed ◦ 10/10 chapters] [smut!] #pep loves this AU #pep SCREAMED

Gojo Satoru is dying. And no, it's not his fault this time.

The curse which is withering Satoru into an early grave is actually the product of his great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather, who had a couple of sons that refused to procreate. And what does a proud, powerful man do when his sons refuse to fuck, and there won't be another heir to the clan?

He curses his own bloodline, of course.

It's only natural that he forces them through some twisted form of sorcery to become uncontrollably, violently attracted to the person they're most genetically compatible with.

It's even better that the curse creates a permanent, unbreakable bond between the two unwilling lovers. That's right, it usually takes more than one fuck to make a baby-- so, why not force them to have twelve?

Satoru wished his ancestor would be resurrected from the grave, just so that he could kill him again. That is, before Satoru inevitably dies.

He's had a good run, he thinks. Now, all he has to do is make sure you don't find out that you can fuck him back to life and try to very stupidly save him from himself.

(here's a spoiler: you do).

☆ a typical family by @literalia [AO3/tumblr] [status: completed? ◦ 32/32 chapters] [non liner narrative] [dad!gojo] #pep absolutely MELTED #slice of life #pep's gojo comfort fic

"satoru. where did you get these kids?"

or

after a six month absence, satoru shows up at your door two little kids following behind. chaos ensues.

☆ and if i cant see by hollowdonut [AO3: ] [status: unknown ◦ 26/? chapters] [slowburn] [eventual smut!] [tw: ptsd] #pep loves the reader's dynamics with gojo!

They say eyes are the window to the soul, but Gojo’s eyes are almost always hidden behind a blindfold. Even when they aren’t, you can never tell what he’s thinking.

You wonder if you should’ve taken that teaching job in Kyoto instead.

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bonus!

☆ all hail the empress! by @chuluoyi [tumblr/AO3: ] [status: unknown ◦ 1/? chapters] [smut!] #pep loves this AU #but THE END THO? OMGGG you are an empress perfect in every way... until your husband suddenly casts you aside for his expecting mistress. but you won't be dethroned just like that, because the newly coronated western emperor, gojo satoru, sets his sights on you, and thus your revenge against your ex-husband begins...

[petew21-blog]

Romania dreaming

It has been a few months since I met George on the site for long distance dating for gays. He was from Romania, kind of cute twinkish guy. Never had much luck. I honestly can't say why I went on that website, maybe I was just bored, but it turned out as the best decision of my life.

It was strange cause from the start, we knew we had chemistry between each other, but the distance made it complicated. We often sex-chatted on the website. About what we would do to each other and so.

One day I told him I wanted to jerk off furiously, because of what he wrote, but my rommate was unfortuantely in the room. Then just a strange idea popped into my head. "What if you'd swap into his body? Then you could be with me." George told me about his Romania ancestor magic skills he had, but he did just some small parlor tricks from time to time. The bigger spells were harder. He needed a friend for that. A friend that I could be. And that I could benefit from too

George loved the idea, but was scared at first. "What if the other one in my body ruins my life while he is me? I can't let that happen."

"Ok, you know what. Find anyone hot from your life that you would like me to swap into and I will come to see you. Then you'll swap me back and I'll see what the other person did. Maybe the spell makes them think they're us. That would be neat" I suggested

George was more confident now and even sent me some photos of his straight colleagues from work, so that we could see if they behaved differently after swapping back. I immediately set my eyes on Daniel. His hot, absolutely 100 % straight, colleague who worked out. Insanely hot.

We both agreed. I got ready in my bed. I told George to start the spell at 21:21. I looked at the clock and still had some minutes left. I tried to fall asleep. Maybe Daniel would be asleep in my body and it would be easier. Then it hit me. Strange nauseating feeling and the light

I was standing in the locker rooms. Cold win from the AC on my bare torso. Bare torso? Holy shit. I am shirtless in the locker rooms of some gym. That's something I never expected to happen to me. I looked down. First thing that caught my eye were the shorts. Then I looked at my beautiful muscular torso. My new arms. Then I caught my new reflection. In the mirror was the guy that I saw in the photo. Daniel. "Daniel" I said aloud. His voice sounded so strong and commanding. If he told me with this voice to get down on my knees and suck him, I would. Speaking of sucking I looked in my shorts. Nice flacid shaved cock. "Gotta find out how big you are when you're hard big guy". His phone vibrated. Fuck, I almost forgot I was suppose to send Daniel proof of swapping bodies

I sent the photo to George's instagram. Then I wrote:"This is what you'll be looking up at tonight while you suck me off"

"Peter? I can't believe it. You're really him. You have to come over!"

I wanted to get his stuff and leave immediately, but the some of his friends got to the locker and ridiculed me for being a pussy and leaving without lifting. I don't know if it was Daniel's personality or something else in me, but I felt like I had to prove them wrong. And then I said things I didn't even know. Shit about cars, girls, FUCKING GIRLS. I even lifted without knowing how. This body was on autopilote.

I left early without saying anything. Bunch of messages from George waiting for me and being stressed out what happened. I explained and asked for his adress of his dorms.

The twink I used to talk to late at night was waiting for me in black compression shorts and black shirt.

"Heey...." was all I let him say out loud. I agressively pressed him against the wall and kissed him. Tongues twisting around each other, my teeth biting his lips, hands feeling up and down his body. Slowly we were working our way to his bed. I set him down and took of my shirt. He was visibly shocked, that his work colleague was now in front of him stripping down. I whip out my hard dick and pushed it into his face. He obliged immediately and worked his way with his tongue around the bright purple head of my new dick. He was working it like a pro, trying to swallow it whole, not gagging. But that didn't matter, I had to fuck his ass. Now.

I turned him around, not even stripping him, only pulling a bit of his shorts from his ass. I spit into my hand, got it on my dick and pushed myself in. He screamed out. But I didn't care, I just pused inside and kept thrusting. He was so tight. His ass was so tight around my shaft. I shot my cum inside of him. Pulling out and immediately searching for clothes to leave.

"You're leaving?!"

I snapped out. "Fuck, jesus George I am so sorry. I don't know what happened. I think Daniel's personality still had effect on me. I didn't mean to be so rough on you. Please forgive me."

"It's ok. It did hurt at first, but it was worth it. I still can't believe you're him now. And I lost my virginity with Daniel who I crushed over for years! That's so amazing!"

"Wait, this was your first time? But, you told me all the stories. Was none of it true? Jesus, George, maybe if I knew I would have fought Daniel's personality harder."

"I didn't expect we would me irl. I honestly didn't expect the spell would wrok, but here we are. Daniel is here. In my room. Wait, I have a great idea!" he started casting a spell

"Wait!" I wasn't fast enough to stop him.

But now I was looking at Daniel. From his point of view. Already feeling more submissive than in Daniel's body. The personality of the original body truly does have an effect on the one swapped inside.

George was now posing in front of the mirror. His eyes focused on his biceps and all the tense muscles.

I was now in George's twink body. I could feel his ass hurting from the sex with Daniel's body. I could feel the cum in his ass. I felt the attraction towards Daniel's body. But I didn't feel right like I did in Daniel's. I wanted to swap back.

George now got to his new dick, which was already throbbing hard again. How that's possible, I have no idea. But as soon as he started jerking his new cock he looked at me and I felt his predator eyes on me. Fuck, this is gonna hurt

The next morning I woke up sleeping next to George still in Daniel's body. We didn't sleep much tonight, but don't get me wrong, while the sex felt great I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was in the wrong body. As soon as George woke up I told him about my dysphoria with his body. He got mad. I could tell that Daniel's personality took over. And then few seconds later I found myself in my original body again already in my university lecture.

For several weeks George didn't answer my messages. I could only see as his Tumblr profile had more and more photos of Daniel's body in the gym etc.

Not only was I worried, but I had to admit to myself that I was extremely jealous. I was in that body first. I need it more than he did

I kept spamming him with messages and then one day he answered. The message said:"I need to fuck this guy in gym. I'll swap u with him tonight. Be ready". Man, I think it's better to have one body close to Daniel's rather than be far from him

He did as he said in the message. I woke up again in the bright gym. Now lifting. I proceeded to not cause suspicion.

This guy I was now in was really handsome. More muscular even than Daniel I dare to say. I could feel that his personality was not as strong as Daniel's. He seemed more kind in my eyes, but who knows who he is. I may not know before George tells me. I saw him on the other side of the room eyeing me. Stalking me even. I left the body on autopilote and finished the workout. His body was probably used to take photos after so I let him

Maybe I could stay in his body. He is really hot. And more handsome too. But I don't know. He is the type I would love to have as a boyfriend, not to be him.

I followed George to the showers. We were eventually the last people in the gym. I got into the lockers. Patiently waiting for him to speak.

"You're Mihai now. He's the owner of the gym. So we got the place for ourselves. Let's hit the showers"

I followe him. Mihai, what a nice name for this guy. I don't feel that Mihai is someone who would just follow others and do what they tell him to. Maybe I figured out how to overpower the personality of the person.

We got naked and stared at each other.

"Nah, this is wrong." and yet again he proceeded to perform his ritual

I was now Daniel again and was looking at Mihai. Now the reality of how he acted hit him. And as I suspected before, Miahi was irl a very nice guy. "I am so so so sorry Peter. I didn't know that Daniel had such a strong personality. I tohught I could fight it, but most of the time I just found myself being the passenger, but still enjoying his life. It's so weird. But I feel better now as Mihai. Maybe you should stay in Daniel's body for now. I'll learn to control the personality of others, just as you did and then we can safely try to swap with other people. What do you think?"

"I think" I said as I turned on the water in the showers "that you need a post workout shower. And that George and Mihai need to get to know themselves better" I smiled at him kneeling down to the nice hairy cock already waiting for my mouth

Few months later

Are you asking if we stayed in their bodies? Well yeah, kind off. We made their bodies our main ones. We got them to live together, start a relationship and now even if we swapped into other bodies Daniel and Mihai bodies continue what we established. Romantic right?

Me and George often take trips to some new locations travelling around the world, enjoying life of other people. Most of the time we try to find some straight friends travelling to foreign locations, trying to score some pussy there and slightly changing their vacation plans. Heh, there was this one time where we didn't even exit our hotel room. For a week. Crazy right? That was wild. But maybe I'll tell that story another time and tell you how our life in Mihai and George is proceeding

But now we are in the bodies of these two gym bro friends, waiting for the gay bar to open. See you

A story from messages we came up with while body swap roleplaying with @hunkpossesion

I changed the plot a bit, but still the hot bodies remained.

[applesauce42069]

people say a lot of shit about jewish dna tests, and i am bored, and willing to take one for the team because 23andme leaked my data anyway, you can have a look at mine:

So, as you can see I have one Ashkenazi Jewish parent (my mom) and one goyishe parent (my dad). He's English if it matters.

From my mom I inherited 100% Ashkenazi Jewish DNA, which makes sense because she and her parents all come back as 100% Ashki.

But what *is* Ashkenazi DNA?

To parse out my sample I use a tool called illustrative DNA, which tests your DNA against ancient populations. it struggles with people from mixed backgrounds, but here's what it comes up with for me

in the Bronze age:

Iron Age:

"Migration Period:"

And Middle Ages:

Now, the percentages don't tell you about who I am. I am a Ashkenazi Jew. This identity comes from a mix of ethnic history and my upbringing. But they tell you about who my ancestors were.

I'm not a Canaanite, but my ancestors were.

I'm not Phoenecian (their sample for the iron age Levant), but my ancestors were.

I don't live in the Roman Levant, but my ancestors did.

And this is exactly what we've been saying all along. This is the take away from these results. My ancestors came from the levant, like my cultural tradition and history say.

And really, these genetic tests are the least important and compelling evidence for our concept of Jewish indigeneity. There are texts, historical artifacts, and cultural traditions that are way more important and compelling, since the most important traits of indigeneity are culture based, not genetics based, since indigenous groups all have methods of self conception and identification that predate even the knowledge that genes existed. this is why judaism accepts converts (read: cultural adoptees) even if conversion is relatively rare, because what we call " judaism" is primarily a set of cultural-religious traditions that don't involve proselytization.

Basically if you want your "scientific" evidence you can have it, but really, just shut the fuck up about Jews and DNA tests, stop acting like an authority on things you don't know jack shit about, and LEAVE US ALONE.

[solbaby7]

Enchantress

pairing: rhysand x reader

warnings: kinda dark, mild swearing, possession, possibly some smut

summary: You accidentally release something you're not supposed to but maybe its not so bad after all

—

You should've stayed put.

Rhysand said he'd be right back and to stay right where you were but it felt like a hundred years had passed and he still had yet to return. You turn in place, eyes catching on a display on the far corner; far away from all the other precious artifacts Rhysand had been throughly explaining before disappearing.

You'd actually been quite interested.

Ignoring the grumbling sounds of your belly in favor of his voice, rambling on about his great battles; the land his ancestors had pillaged and the great treasures they took as souvenirs.

You stayed in place a minute more, going to far as to call his name but no one responded—and the display looked really lonely.

Your feet are moving before you can second guess it, before your instincts can kick in and sound their warning bells to your brain to stay the fuck away because something certainly wasn't right. The closer you get, the more transfixed you are with the contents; a box filled with a stone that glowed emerald. You hand hovers against the glass and just before your fingers touch it, the display opens; a smoke tinged in green kissing your face and the stone is in your hands in seconds.

It hums in your grasp, deep power residing inside and you're only certain because you can feel it; can hear it calling to you in that hiss of a tone. "Release me for I am your destiny and you are mine."

Rhysand finally returns when your hands are high above your head, eyes dazed as if in a trance and he can barely get the first two syllables of the word 'stop' out before the stone is no more; a series of shattered emerald pieces and a dark force emerges free. It happens so quickly, your eyes widening in realization, a sharp cry before the ebbing darkness is seeping into your skin and fusing into every pore.

Its intrusive.

Cramped.

Like sharing a small room with two full grown bodies and not enough space to breathe or move or think.

"I can fix that," That hissing voice whispers in your ear, freezing cold hands curled around your shoulders but it's not as uncomfortable as you'd anticipated. "Just say it. Say the words."

It feels like the walls are closing in, pushing and nudging and squeezing you whole like they did with grapes to make wine and you're gasping for air when you respond. "What words?"

"Enchantress.” One word and your skin is littered in goosebumps. “Call my name and we shall become one."

Become one?

What was that supposed to mean?

There's no time to think—Rhysand always said not to make bargains or deals under distress; not when you aren't thinking clearly and paying attention to the wording but you just can't breathe and right before it all goes black, you gasp out. "Enchantress."

She sucks in a greedy breath, your clothes shifting into something similar to the outfit Rhysand had handed you to wear on a visit to the Hewn City—to the Court of Nightmares. "Such a youthful body." The Enchantress whispers out, voice seeming to adjust to your own; it takes a few tries for the sentences to come out smoothly after so long without a mouth but she quickly adapts. "Much better than my last one."

"Your last one?" Rhysand questions sharply, standing firm but his body language was prepared for a fight no matter how unsure he was about the whole situation. He couldn't hit you; wouldn't be able to use much force and the thought of raking those sharp talons against your brain made his stomach churn in distaste.

"I'm a large package," She grins, dark magic smoking off her figure like the shadows that Azriel summoned. "It's hard to fit it all in such fragile meatsuits but this one seems to be quite used to taking such power."

If Rhys notices the underlying sexual innuendo, he swiftly ignores it. "You can read her mind?"

The Enchantress keeps her distance, eyeing the High Lord up and down, silently sizing him up and there's genuine surprise when she realizes his power was alarmingly similar to her own. "It's our mind now, Lord of Darkness."

"Don't call me that."

She inches closer, eyes glowing at the button she'd pushed and Rhysand's fingers flex at his sides. "You're right, she says you actually prefer Lord of Destruction."

Rhysand can't help the way his body responds to the nickname that's said in your voice with a woman wearing your face, dressed in a body he worshipped night and day. "She says?"

The Enchantress sighed, almost bored when she answers; voice more clipped as she explored the room she'd only ever known from the confines of that damn display. "Your mate is still in here; just pushed to the backseat for a little bit. Don't worry she's having a good time."

"She didn't know any better—"

"Don't underestimate us, she gave full consent. The girl’s probably delirious from the power as we speak."

Rhysand's eyes squint in suspicion, searching for a tell; determining if the mystical being was bluffing or not. "What do you want from her?"

"Nothing really, just a body and maybe even some entertainment if you're up for it. Of all the things that your girl could be thinking about and the only thing on the brain is your cock fucking into her while she's like this." Rhysand sucks in a breath at the words, her tone more like yours than ever before and he can feel the blood rushing between his legs, the growing tent against expensive fabric.

He really couldn't help it. Those clothes, your figure; the promise of fucking his seed deep in your body that was just thrumming with power more similar to his own than he'd ever once detected in his life. "Would it hurt her?"

The Enchantress laughs, a quick shout of a thing that made your shoulders shake. "Hurt her? With all of my power inside of her, she'll be coming before you can even fit all of it in."

She can hear his gulp and even from your spot as backseat driver you don't blame him for a second for considering it. The power was exhilarating, rooting deep in your blood and settling into your bones until just the smell of the High Lord had your thighs clenching in anticipation.

"So, what do you say?"

A pause before the unmistakable click of a lock. "Take off your clothes."

You make a noise, a pleased sound and Rhysand’s knees buckle when the fabric of your clothes melt into water. It drips to the floor, body bare and glistening; ripe for the taking and soaked with want. “Don’t hold back, High Lord. It’s been a long time and I’m feeling greedy.”

He’s too careful at first; fearful of hurting the soul behind the body presented to him while his mouth is trailing kisses up your neck. The Enchantress is more than patient, accepting the exploratory touches and arching into the fingers trailing down the slippery length of your back. “The water was a nice touch.”

“You’re charming but if you don’t touch me, I’ll do it myself.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time—I quite the fan of watching.”

Your eyes light up at the words whispered into your ear and it’s second nature when you grab for his hands and place it between your thighs. “You’re not this talkative in her memories of you,” The mystical being croons, teasingly dragging his fingers up the dripping arousal seeping past your lips. “—are you trying to impress me?”

“Is it working?” Violet eyes bore into yours and you don’t need to guide his hand any further, two fingers sliding through while the pad of his thumb worked tight, slow circles around your clit.

She was right; encased in so much power even just Rhysand’s fingers felt like pure euphoria, whiny moans and choppy breaths proving the pleasure he drew from you without even really trying.

Your chest is heaving when you answer, eyes half-lidded and the room smells like lust and jasmine scented oils burning over a candle. “Maybe a little.”

It was a lie.

One he doesn’t call you on when your body does it for you, hips writhing as his fingers curled into you, dragging against spongy walls while pumping in and out and in and out until your eyes squeezed shut. “Open them, you wanted me to fuck you so bad—watch me while I do it.” It takes real effort to follow the orders given and when you do another moans rips out and the smile on his face. “Watch yourself come on my fingers.”

You do, mostly, eyes closing towards the end and when his fingers slide out you quickly realize your mistake.

“You’d think for a mystical being that you’d be good at following instructions.”

Words no longer exist and for once, you’re the one left speechless.

You can nothing but watch as you fall pliant to powerful hands that lift you like nothing and carry you to the thin desk adorned in rare vases and busts sculpted from stone and Rhysand’s swipes them clear off to make room for you. You barely hear them disintegrate into specks; too focused on the clothes at disappear and you have to double check that you aren’t drooling when you take in the inky tattoos marking tanned skin. “That’s okay though,” The High Lord affirms just barely over a whisper when coating his cock in your juices. He’s got a hand curled around your thigh, legs spread wide and your backs propped up against the wall. “—I’m used to beautiful deviants like you.” The thick head of his tip breaches your cunt with embarrassingly little resistance, hips shifting to meet him and a moan drags from your throat when he fit every excruciatingly perfect inch inside. “I could make you my bitch on my worst day.”

You’re prepared to answer, a snarky remark dying on the tip of your tongue when his pace starts; quick and unforgiving. It takes everything to remain rooted in place, not to float away and defy gravity because his cock felt so fucking good.

It’s primal the noises you’re making, body electrified and every touch lingers like he’d branded them on your skin. “Rhysand.”

“Can you take it, baby?” He hasn’t even broken a sweat and no amount of skimming through memories could prepare the being sharing your body for the true extent of the High Lord’s stamina. “I really hope so, ‘cause I’ve got a lot to give you.”

Something flickers in his eye; something dark and twisty, a side of him he always reigned in because not everyone was equipped to withstand such power. You could handle it though—at least you were going to try because if you though it felt good before, the pleasure increases tenfold when that power becomes a tangible thing, slinking out the shadows and latching onto you.

Your vision goes white, another orgasm being worked from you and even as you try to writhe away, the darkness keeps you in place; forcing you to take it—to take him and that perfect cock and that perfect mouth sucking his mark onto your breasts and he lets out a groan when your back arches, his teeth scraping gently against your nipple and your certain your eardrums have burst.

You can only register white noise and consistent warmth encasing your body. It take a while for your vision to focus and once it regulates, Rhysand looks no better than you; hair mussed and cheeks flushed and a quick laugh pulls from his mouth when he looks at the ground.

“I don’t see what’s funny, those were priceless artifacts—probably irreplaceable.”

“I couldn’t give less of a fuck; I’ve never come that hard in my life.” The cooling darkness is already kissing at your neck seconds later, a smirk tugged at the corner of Rhysand’s full lips. “You wanna go again?”

[onestepbackwards]

It would be so funny if the player could still send texts on their arc phone and decided to send every complaint directly to Arceus

Everything from "Those ungrateful bastards banished me" to "My tummy hurts :("

Bonus points if they hand the phone over to Volo or Ingo and let them rant at god for screwing them over

Tbh if it were me I would let Arceus know every single inconvenience I had with being thrown into the past with no warning.

You let Arceus know no peace, making it very clear of your feelings on the matter.

[There is a leak in my room. You know what didn't have a leak? My old home.]

[They deadass are sending me into the wild??? On my own?? Assuming I have no experience?? They want me dead, Arceus.]

[THEY DONT HAVE COFFEE]

[Why do I have to fight the big scary pokemon?? WHY IS IT A STRANGERS JOB-]

[I think Cynthia's ancestor is stalking me.]

[I REACHED TEN STARS FUCK YEAH]

[WHY do I have to solve this village's problems. How am I the only one doing anything to help here.]

[WHY IS THE TRAIN GUY FROM UNOVA HERE.]

[ANSWER ME ARCEUS.]

[ISNT THIS GUY A CELEBRITY???? ARCEUS. HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN HERE-]

[When i invent mac n cheese, its over for these assholes.]

[Do you think I could piss Cyrus off by adopting his great great grandmother as my own mom?]

[They fucking banned me, Arceus.]

[AFTER EVERYTHING I DID-]

[Volo is def stalking me btw. WHY is he the only one wanting to help me besides the nice lady who also looks like Cynthia-]

[THE SKY IS RED.]

[Did Kamado seriously send Beni to assassinate me or did I just hallucinate that whole encounter.]

[WHY IS IT I KEEPING MEETING PEOPLE WHO WANT TO DELETE THE UNIVERSE WITH GIRATINA]

[If i had a dollar for every time this has happened, i'd have two dollars. It isn't a lot, but its weird its happened twice-]

[HOW COME HE GETS LIKE THE EQUIVALENT OF 8 POKEMON AND I CANT]

[If you had just said hi to him we could have avoided me almost dying TWICE.]

Arceus almost never responds unless you have a genuine question, or need help. But you do find solace in complaining to it.

You later tell Volo that hey, like, you know things are kinda awkward, but you have a means of directly messaging Pokemon God-

He's shaking as you hand him the phone and show him how to use it. At first, Volo for once, doesn't know what to say. He had dreamt of unloading his problems onto Arceus many times, but now?

He is almost at a lost for words.

That is, until you reach around him, showing him your previous conversations.

"Yeah, see here? I kinda bitched at Arceus last week because I'm still not allowed to go home yet. I kinda just use the chat to vent about things most of the time."

Volo stares for a moment, until he's furiously typing. He doesn't stop typing for a good few minutes, sending one very long, winded message, before handing the phone back to you. It's the longest message you have ever seen sent on your phone

The merchant is awfully quiet after that for a little while.

[youareunbearable]

Thinking about the Nauglamir, as one does, and just, like I know I have a bias as an Indigenous woman who's historical artifacts are often stolen and who's peoples' treaties and promises are typically disregarded by other authority figures and whose ancestors were treated like animals and hunted for sport but God Thingol fucking sucks in that tale (and in general)

Like I've always kinda disliked Thingol, gives off major White Settler vibes but this whole tale is so tragic when you look at it through an Indigenous lens

We start off with a friendship. Good old Finrod Badger man himself, hears about his cousin Caranthir doing business with a new type of people that Love Gems just like the Noldor! Hes Thrilled!! He meets with the people, Dwarves, and while they are a lot shorter and got more hair than the Men he met, they become fast friends.

He talks about his travels and mentions that he fell in love with the art style of Thingol's domain. The Dwarves are uneasy, cause they have bad history with Thingol's people, but inform Finrod that Actually We Made That. Finrod is Over The Moon and commissions them to make one for him too. As a show of faith, they allow him to build it on a mountain that has history to them and Finrod, you know he would be, is respectful of this and pays them their due and more through Elf goods and more trade then they normally would have

Nargothrond is done and Finrod is super impressed with their skills and commissions them again. This time, to make a necklace of the gems he personally carried over from Valinor. The Dwarves would understand the importance of these gems, they're literally Family Jewels and one of the only things Finrod has left of his homeland

So the Nauglamir is made. From Noldor gems and Dwarvish skill and shared friendship and memories of both parties. Its an agreement, a contract, a visual showcase of the friendship and alliance between the Dwarves and the Noldor.

(My people did this to. We made visual agreements. Wampum belts. Each shell bead took 1 whole day of hard labour to make and these belts had hundreds of them. They're symbolic and important as well as a beautiful showcase of skill and craftsmanship. They are almost always made between friendly nations)

Then we have Azaghal. Who was saved by Maedhros and had a great friendship with him. They exchanged gifts, worked together on an alliance, and probably traded tales with each other. Azaghal and his people would have known why the Noldor are here in Beleriand. They would have known the importance of the Silmarils to the Noldor, to the Feanorians especially. They could avenge their fallen kings, stop the evil from spreading, complete their Oath, and go home. Azaghal was even willing to give up his life, and the lives of his men, to help Maedhros get a Silmarils back.

Finrod is dead. The Noldor are weak and scattered. Maedhros is displaced from his home in Himring, and all the gossip they hear about him is that he's a shell of the Elf he used to be before the Noldor High King died.

A group of Dwarves are ordered to come to Doriath on Thingol's behalf. "Add this gem to this necklace" theyre told. Its a beautiful necklace. Its a beautiful gem. They start to do as they are told but things aren't sitting right with the Dwarven smiths. An older one notices first.

On the necklace with the beautiful and feather light gems, they notice a little sigil on the clasp. Its a Dwarven Smith sigil. They know the only work that smith did with Elven gems was Finrod’s Nauglamir. The smiths whisper amongst themselves in a frantic hiss. Why would the king of the Sindar Elves, one who has vocally stated his dislike and distrust of the Noldor, have Finrod’s necklace that THEY made for him out of friendship?

They turn to the strange gem they've been told to set within the Nauglamir. Its brilliant, beautiful, and glows with an inner light that is so very Elvish. One smith mentions the tale of Finrod, how he died helping Beren and Luthien get a Silmaril. The same Silmaril that the Noldor, and the Feanorians, need. The one their kings died to help them get.

One of the Dwarves feels sick. These are stolen goods. Goods literally taken from a grave and from their allies enemy and given to another that literally wouldn't even spit on them when they burned. Thingol cannot have these goods, from the perspective of the Dwarves, they aren't his. The Silmaril, well, maybe you could make an argument, but the Nauglamir? No way, it was stolen from a literal graveyard of a Noldor city and the person who gave it to him had no right or claim to it ever.

So the Dwarves tell him this. And Thingol is furious. He says, and I quote: "How do ye of uncouth race dare to demand aught of me, Elu Thingol, Lord of Beleriand, whose life began by waters of Cuivienen years uncounted ere the fathers of the stunted people awoke?" And goes nuts. He's throwing out slurs, he's trying to pull a Karen, definitely claiming Manifest Destiny which is so wild and kicks them out without even paying for their labour. For their craft, their skill, their time. He doesn't acknowledge the unwritten treaty of friendship by completing this craft of unimaginable skill.

So they take it back. Sure Thingol died, but he is a thrice over thief at this point and no friend of the Dwarves or their allies.

Then Mr vegan "ill never harm or eat a living being" murders all the Dwarves that are trying to go back home with their rightful due. But what would Beren know about that anyways, he clearly has no head or mind about whats right or wrong as he himself finds it easy to cash in a favour from a king not to help resettle his displaced people, but to ask this king to sacrifice his own men and life to help him get married.

When Doriath is sacked by the Feanorians, oh I bet the Dwarves were pleased. I bet some of them even joined, what with being allies of the Noldor and all. The Dwarves hate the Elves, but not the Noldor who were loyal and trustworthy friends. Who paid and honored their skills and craft, who were cheated by the Sindar just as much as they were. Who fought and bled and died fighting evil while the Sindar stayed behind in their girdle

It was Silverfist Celebrimbor himself, a Noldor and a Feanorian who continued with their relationship. Who gave them rings of power to solidify that relationship. Shame he was betrayed, be he didn't mean harm.

By the third age its a shame the Noldor are the smaller group of Elves in middle earth. They would have helped Durin’s Folk more. The Elves and Dwarves might of had a better relationship. I'm sure Elrond tried, and some Dwarves were warmer to him on account of being adopted sons of Maedhros and Maglor. Buts hes also Thingol's blood, and that is a blood memory type of mistrust.

[genericpuff]

OOOH HI I'm also First Nations, I'm specifically Plains Cree

In our language, Nêhiyawêwin, we refer to ourselves as "Nêhiyaw"

I was taught that it means something along the lines of four bodied person or people of the four directions, because 4 is a really important number in our culture.

Also, there is no actual number 9 in our language.

We have 10, which is "mitâtaht" and nine is "kêkâ-mitâtaht," which means almost 10

I do not know why

Tansi!! Love seeing another First Nations pal in my inbox 👏❤️

I actually have to brush up on a lot of my Cree as well because fun fact - my grandmother hails from the plains, specifically (from what she's been able to retrace) the Saulteaux tribe which is (from what I've learned of it) a sort of branching tribe of the Ojibwe, so when we got our status returned to us back in the late 2000's / early 2010's, we were registered as Cree because the Canadian government do be like that LMAO But all of her children and their children - including me - were born in the Maritimes so some of us identify as Mi'kmaq simply due to all of us being born in Atlantic Canada (and a lot of this was before we had even figured out the Saulteaux part of our heritage). Tracing back our heritage has been admittedly very difficult because our grandmother was unfortunately a victim of residential schooling and was taken away from much of her family in the plains as a child, and then she subsequently lost her Indigenous status completely when she married a French man back when such laws were in place. It's sort of a bittersweet experience because on the one hand it's been amazing to get back in touch with our culture but on the other it's because of colonization that we've had to go to all this effort in the first place just to figure out where we come from and who we are u.u Needless to say, I still feel very spiritually connected to the land I was born in, but I also want to be open to recognizing my grandmother's heritage and keeping it alive as best I can <3

That's so funny that there's no specific number for 9, I wonder why that is 🤔 it's like our ancestors got tired of coming up with unique names and went "fuck it, it's almost ten" LOL now I'm almost curious to know if the Mi'kmaq language did the same thing, I'll have to look into that 💀😆

[laiqualaurelote]

If these haven't been asked yet for the ask game: M and P!

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

I had this wild idea for an Accidental Baby Acquisition fic in which Crystal has an unplanned pregnancy (this is about 10 years after the events of Dead Boy Detectives and she's in her mid-20s) and though she has no desire to involve the father (yet another of her douchebag exes) she decides she does want to have the baby. Charles is thrilled because baby! but also terrified because what if it turns out he's like his dad after all? Edwin goes through the five stages of grief in 24 hours, from denial ("this agency cannot afford to have a baby! how will Crystal get any work done?" "this is why we should have had the maternity leave discussion a long time ago, Edwin" "what the bloody hell is maternity leave?!") to acceptance (Charles: "Let me talk to him. You go get some sleep." Crystal comes back the next morning to find the entire office covered in books on pregnancy and that Edwin has already drawn up diet plans/classical music playlists/the baby's entire linguistic education pathway. Charles: "I tried to stop him. Really I did." Edwin, hysterical: "We are doing this right! We are going to have the best baby!" Crystal: "Oh God.")

Also ft:

the Night Nurse's horrified realisation that she is actually going to have to midwife Crystal through this thing

Jenny's horrified realisation that she is now an aunt. Great-aunt, even

Crystal's ancestors having way too many opinions on the whole process

"Edwin Payne, you stay the fuck out of my womb!"

Crystal going into labour while on a case, in another dimension

Charles cutting the umbilical cord with his magic sword and bursting into tears upon getting to hold the baby for the first time

Crystal insisting on breastfeeding during client consultations (Victorian gentleman ghost: "This is an outrage, madam!" Edwin: "Sir, if you are unable to take your eyes off my colleague's breasts then I suggest you take your plaint elsewhere. This is a progressive workplace.")

Edwin attempting to solve mastitis through magic

the boys taking the baby on nighttime excursions so Crystal can get some sleep

the baby loves being in the backpack (Charles' theory is that it reminds her of being in the womb. Crystal: "Charles Rowland, do not put my fucking baby into the same bag as that bomb!" Edwin: "Crystal! Language!")

at some point they discover the baby is an interdimensional being which is a whole other headache

Charles keeps referring to all this as "the Infamous Baby Debacle of 2034" and nobody can make him stop

The last chapter would be from the child's POV:

"Hi my name is Niko Surname von Hoverkraft and I can travel between dimensions. My mom is the most powerful woman in the world. My godfathers are dead and I'm not allowed to talk about it. I'm not related to Niko Sasaki but I wish I were because she's so pretty and it snows all the time in her dimension. I was walking outside in London with my godfathers. It was London so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of people stared at me, I guess because they can't see my godfathers so it looks like I'm talking to myself. I put up my middle finger at them."

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Everyone thinks I'm an architect - I would love to think of myself as an architect - but actually I plan very little in advance. I think the best metaphor would be architect-gardener, in that I build a little trellis and let the story grow on it how it will.

Thank you for playing this fic ask game!

[ant1quarian]

Don't Keep Me Out.

That's Not My Neighbour Utmv: Dust Sans Edition.

CW's: You're going to be confined in a room.

UNLESS THERE IS A MASSIVE CONTENT WARNING, THE REST IS "DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT"

TNMN IS A HORROR GAME; EXPECT THIS TO ENTERTAIN EVERYTHING THAT IT DOES

Life was never perfect.

No, scratch that, life fucking sucked. It was the year 1955 and everything was hell on earth- For you, at least. You were pretty sure the rich bastards in society were loving their lives.

You drummed your fingers absentmindedly on the bedside table before hauling yourself out of your roof-fixated gaze, barely casting glances at the mould long since begun to crawl across your room.

Living in the timeline open to multiversal travel was not a fun time– constantly loud as people clammered around and rushed to their ports several hours across the city to warp to whatever universe they’d been planning their vacations in.

It gave you a headache, honestly.

You shifted over to your dusty, unclean window and peered out at Mt. Ebott, still standing tall despite the weight of hundreds of millions of people scampering about on– and under– it.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

You sighed, rubbing at your face as your hand briefly dragged along the white, painted walls that covered your little apartment- if you could call it that.

Your gaze slowly travelled across the sparsely furnished room before landing on a letter with an indigo seal (which looked almost akin to a biblically accurate angel and the Deltarune combined). You felt your face screw up a bit, dread as heavy as led weighing you down as you wandered over to it.

The paper was rough and carried that indigo shimmer (and vague electrical buzz) all important, government-official things did.

You already knew what was inside– very vaguely, at least. While the public may have glossed over it, you certainly noticed people receiving such a letter and then going missing days later, nothing of them left behind.

But desperation was a crazy thing, and with the date deadlines of your electricity, water and food supply being cut off steadily approaching? You were desperate.

Everyone in the Silverstone apartments were.

With a soft exhale of air, you snapped open the seal, not even blinking at the ambient buzz the letter gave off.

Your gaze flicked over the contents, taking in the beautifully scripted felon’s claw font used, making a quiet, disgruntled hum in the back of your throat.

It went, very vaguely (to your interpretation), like this:

‘We do hope this finds you well.

This is a job being so graciously gifted to you by the assholes ruling this shithole. We need help patrolling the border and you’re going to do this job. There is no choice. We are aware of how much you’re struggling. So prepare your shit and travel over here, we’ll get you suited up.’

With a snort, you folded it up and shoved it into your pocket, scratching at your scalp before looking around. The only thing you dared to grab (aside from your papers, of course) was an old, ornate knife belonging to whatever ancestor had left it to you.

You glanced around your apartment for one final time before turning on your heel and walking out.

Getting to Mt Ebott wasn’t too much of a problem- considering it’s the only way that traffic seemed to be directed towards.

Not that you were driving.

You dodged out of the way of rambunctious children- rabbit monsters, you think?- laughing as they scramble through the crowds with nothing more than a grumble.

Ew, children.

It didn’t take you very long to come upon the highly-secured transportation HQ, either. 

You barely had time to hate all of the pristine richness being flamboyantly displayed everywhere before a commanding voice caught your attention- the intent clearly informing you that they were talking to you, specifically.

“Oi,” You looked over with a faux-cordial smile, practised from years of having to deal with assholes– only to pause when you laid eyes on glimmering pink-to-ocean-cyan scales and vibrant yellow irises staring back at you.

Oh shit they’re pretty-

“Name’s Aunkle. I’m the Warden around here. You’re the newbie, yeah?” At your nod, she displayed dagger-sharp teeth as a grin split her face, “Oh we’re going to have so much fun.”

And that is the story of how you ended up in the box Aunkle sorta just… shoved you into.

First day on the job, no prior information as to what the hell you had to do, nor anyone telling you where you’d be going afterwards. You flinched when the heavy metal door slammed behind you, swiftly followed by the sound of electronic locks sliding into place.

[ You have encountered your first choice. ]

[ Look around? ]

[ Mess with the electronics? ]

I would also like to clarify that the option with the most amount of comments in favor of will be chosen.

It is possible to die.

I may create a separate blog for this specifically.

You can also feel free to vote/comment through anon in my asks, if commenting is something you're not comfortable with.

Providing you don't ask for spoilers, any questions as to why something is the way it is, feel free to ask that as well ( You can also ask about characters, too )

[cryptidghostgirl]

Community Outreach Day (Tyler Galpin pt 3)

Yall cant seem to stop reading this one and I cant seem to stop writing it so here we fucking are.

Pairing: dark!Tyler Galpin x reader

description: Y/n and Wednesday go to the old pilgrim meeting house only to be met by something they were not expecting in the least.

warnings: dark tyler yall. it’s official. you know what that means.

word count: 1987

status: unedited

masterlist

Community Outreach Day Masterlist (Xavier and Wednesday paths found here)

Tyler path: Part one Part Two 

“here we are!” Y/n stated cheerily and opened her arms as if presenting some masterpiece, “what remains of the old pilgrim era meeting house.”

“I was expecting... more.” Wednesday responded after a moment.

Y/n shrugged.

“We did warn you it was a ruin.”

As the pair entered, Wednesday let her backpack fall to the floor and out scuttled what appeared to be a severed hand.

“whoa.” mumbled Y/n under her breath as Wednesday turned to face them.

“Thing this is Y/n. Y/n? Thing.” she said.

“Hello Thing, nice to meet you!” Y/n cheerily waved.

Thing stood up on his wrist and waved back before settling on his palm once more.

“Uh... Wednesday?” said Y/n, seeing something move behind the girl and pointing to it.

A man in rags stepped out of a hidden corner as Wednesday turned to see what Y/n was worried about.

“what are you two little girls doing here?” he asked.

“use the words ‘little’ and ‘girl’ to address us again and I can’t guarantee your safety.” responded Wednesday cooly.

Y/n straightened her back, trying not to let the fear seep out of the little pool it had begun to form in her chest.

“This is my place!” the man suddenly screamed, “get out!”

Y/n flinched at his words.

“Thing,” Wednesday said, looking over her shoulder to where he sat, “a hand here?”

Thing sprung into action, attacking the man and chasing him into the woods before returning to Wednesday’s side.

“Thank you Thing.” said Y/n and the hand gave her a thumbs up.

She turned to Wednesday.

“I’ll keep watch outside to make sure he doesn't come back while you’re looking around in here.” she stated and exited the crumbling structure.

Leaning on the exterior wall, she tilted her head up and closed her eyes, enjoying the sound of the wind rushing through the autumn leaves and the sound of Wednesday’s voice from within.

After a few minutes, she heard Wednesday’s footsteps coming closer.

“My visions are about as predictable as shark attacks.” she said, and there was a muffled sound that Y/n assumed was the girl grabbing her backpack off the ground.

As Wednesday opened the door, Y/n turned to her to say something only to see the girl standing with her head thrown back before falling to the ground.

“Wednesday!” exclaimed Y/n, falling to her knees at the girl’s side, “Wednesday! are you alright! Wednesday!”

Y/n shook the girl repeatedly, feeling the twigs and dry leaves beginning to dig into her knees through the fabric of her pants.

Y/n turned to Thing who was standing beside her.

“Uh okay, I don’t know sign language so yes or no questions only... uh.... I heard her say she has visions is that what this is?”

Thing nervously shifted his weight on his fingers.

“Please Thing, I promise I wont tell a soul! I just need to know if I should be trying to get her to a hospital or not!”

Thing gave a thumbs down.

“is that a no to bringing her to the hospital or a no to its a vision and I need to call an ambulance!” exclaimed Y/n in frustration, “fuck. yes or no questions only. fuck. Uh, is that a no she doesnt need to go to the hospital?”

Thing gave a thumbs up.

“so this is a vision?”

Thing gave her another thumbs up.

“Oh thank god.” sighed Y/n, leaning back on her heals and putting a hand over her quickly beating heart, “thank god. I guess we will just stay here with her until she wakes up.”

About fifteen minutes later, Wednesday shot up with a gasp.

“Thing! I saw her!” she exclaimed turning to the hand beside her, “the girl from my visions. Her name is Goody Addams, and I believe she is my ancestor from 400 years ago.”

It had started raining in the time shed been out and the two girls were drenched, Y/n was pretty sure her shirt was see through but there wasn’t really anything she could do about it out there.

Thing pointed behind Wednesday to where Y/n sat and Wednesday turned to face her.

“I wouldn’t have expected you to stay.” she said, surveying the girl with cold eyes.

“Why wouldn’t I?” responded Y/n, “I was worried about you.”

“you wont tell anyone about this, will you?”

“My lips are sealed.” 

Y/n mimed zipping her lips closed.

“You’re soaked, are you okay?” she asked Wednesday.

Wednesday didn’t respond and instead looked off into the woods before standing. There was a menacing crack of a branch and Y/n stood as well. The pair walked back into the house, closing the door behind them and looking out through the cracks between the planks noiselessly.

“Must’ve been the bearded man from earlier.” said Wednesday at last, drawing back from the door and turning to Thing.

Suddenly there was a loud growl. Y/n covered her mouth, trying to contain a scream as she stumbled back and Wednesday turned to see the eye of the monster who had saved her from Rowan a few days before.

She gasped and stumbled back a few steps as well. The monster moved its eye from side to side, apparently examining the scene before it before running back off into the woods.

After a moment, Y/n removed her hand from her mouth.

“W-we should probably get out of here.” she stammered and Wednesday nodded in agreement.

Wednesday turned to the fireplace and opened a secret door.

“Come on.” she said as she jumped down it.

“how the hell did she know that was there.” said Y/n in amazement before following suit.

The pair were grateful for the rain in that moment as it allowed them to follow the monster’s footprints. At last, they reached a muddy area with no grass where Y/n stopped.

Wednesday turned to look at her in annoyance.

“Look.” was all Y/n said, pointing to the ground beneath them.

Wednesday looked down and saw what had Y/n so surprised and saw a few monster footprints that grew smaller and smaller until...

“human.” said Wednesday softly, “the monster is human.”

“what the hell are you doing?” came a voice from behind them and Y/n jumped letting out a little shriek.

The two turned around to see Xavier standing with an umbrella.

“We were following the monster.” said Wednesday, looking up at him.

Xavier moved his umbrella to cover the two girls and Y/n side stepped out from under it so she stood in the rain, shooting him a dirty look.

“you saw it?” he asked, looking around, “it’s here? do you two have a death wish or something?”

“What are you even doing out here.” asked Y/n coldly.

“I overheard you guys say you were checking out the old meeting house.” he responded, switching his gaze to Y/n standing out in the rain and then back to Wednesday before him, “Guess it’s lucky I showed up when I did.”

“I did learn one thing.” said Wednesday.

“Yeah?” 

“The monster is human.” Y/n cut in, looking away from the pair and crossing her arms in the hopes of protecting herself from the cold, “its tracks turned from monster prints to human ones.”

“show me.”

Wednesday turned and walked back over to where Y/n was standing, Xavier following her expectantly only to find blank mud.

“the rain washed them all away.” said Wednesday with a hint of sadness to her voice.

Xavier scoffed and looked away for a moment.

“We know what we saw.” said Y/n, trying her best to hide her chattering teeth.

“I’m trying to keep and open mind.” Xavier shrugged.

“How big of you.” said Wednesday coldly.

The duo began to walk towards the edge of the forest, Y/n trailing behind them.

“I do think you might be right about Rowan.” said Xavier suddenly.

“Why the sudden change of heart?”

“I texted him again today. I said maybe we could meet over spring break and go snowboarding like we did last year. This time he texted right back, said he wouldn’t be able to make it.”

“only you never went snowboarding last year.” Wednesday finished.

Xavier nodded, stopping and turning to face Wednesday.

“Part of me wanted to blame it on his recent weirdness? I didn’t want to think something bad had happened.”

“The cover up is always worse than the crime.” Wednesday responded.

“Now I need you to be honest with me. Why did you come out to the old meeting house in the first place?”

“I was trying to learn more about Crackstone, figure out how he’s connected to this.”

“Not to interrupt this truly engaging conversation.” drawled Y/n from behind them causing the two to turn around, “but I am gonna dip. See ya.”

She began to walk and as she passed them she waved lazily.

“Wait.” called Xavier after her and she turned around, crossing her arms once more.

Xavier handed his umbrella to Wednesday and jogged over to where Y/n stood, taking off his uniform jacket in the process. Once he had reacher her, he held out the item expectingly.

Y/n looked up at him with a critical gaze.

“You look cold.” he shrugged, scratching the back of his neck with his free hand.

Y/n said nothing, not changing her protective stance in the slightest.

“Also, you know...” he trailed off, looking down at her chest with pink tinted cheeks.

Y/n looked down at her now completely sheer shirt and then back up at Xavier. With a growl she snatched his jacket from his hand. 

“Thanks.” she said sharply, pulling it over her shoulders, “this doesn’t fix things.”

“I know” he responded, “but maybe it can be a start?”

Y/n met his eyes once more and they stood there for a moment.

“I guess I’ll see you guys later.” she said begrudgingly and Xavier smiled, “don’t think that means I like you, just that, you know, I’m sure we will be running into one another again.”

“Yeah, see you.” he said, the smile still fixed on his face.

“Later Wednesday.” Y/n called to the girl behind him who simply nodded.

With that, Y/n turned and walked away, trying to leave everything that had just happened behind her. After all, she had some catching up to do with a certain someone.

Back in the staff bathroom of the weathervane, Tyler leaned back against the wall and let out a sigh. Laurel had asked him to go check in on Wednesday and give her a good scare. While the fear of the people he attacked was usually enticing to him, there was something so much more exhilarating about watching the girl he cared for trying to stifle a scream, something so lovely about how they were supposed to be meeting up soon and he was sure shed be in some need of comfort. Happy to be both the cause and the solution.

He stood back up, walking over to the mirror and running a hand through his hair before checking the time on his phone. Two thirty. Perfect. Not enough time for Y/n to have made it all the way back to the weathervane yet, especially since Tyler had caught a glimpse of Xavier entering the woods as he sneaked out of them and was certain the boy would find one way or another to hold the two girls up without even meaning to. Late enough, however, that he’d get to see Y/n all apologetic and nervous for being so outrageously late to their meeting.

He chuckled, giving himself one last look over before exiting the bathroom and taking a seat in one of the booths.

Community Outreach Day Masterlist (Xavier and Wednesday paths found here)

Tyler path: Part one Part Two

TAGS:

@killmewithafanfic @daydreamer-222 @lovurryy @rayliz793 @czeniess​​ @alhaithamslove​​ @snixx2088 @theidioticspirit ​ @biggestsimponhere​ @serrinaisdying​  @sarcastic-sourwolf  @theidioticspirit

[ametrictonofaudacity]

Empty Roads

Platonic! Yandere! Trevor x Shapeshifter!Selectively Mute! Reader

Hey!! I wanted to get into non DC yandere works, and decided to cut my teeth on some platonic yandere Castlevania since there’s a criminal lack.

Warnings: swearing, obsession, overprotectiveness, reader has selective mutism and trauma, and violence! One shot is written from the yanderes POV

He finds you on the side of the road.

Or rather, you find him. You trail after him, eyes sharp and wary, and he wonders how hungry you must be to follow a stranger even as he keeps a hand on his short sword. Trevor wouldn’t be much of a Belmont if he somehow managed to get mugged by a half-starved kid on the road. Well, he wasn’t much of one currently, but he liked to think he had a few ancestors that didn’t think he was a total fucking disappointment.

He makes camp for the night even as he keeps a sharp eye on you, and when you don’t approach, gets the fire going. With demons wandering the lands, and animals, the glow of the fire would scare off the stupider night creatures.

It does not scare you off, and that night, Trevor leaves a bit of rabbit on a rock for you to eat. It’s a stupid fucking idea, feeding you could invite all sorts of dangerous shit into his life, but he does it anyways. And you clearly appreciate it, because you leave him the fuck alone during the days, and trail after, a silent observer with a hungry gaze.

Eventually, you start getting closer and closer to the fire. Eventually, you trust him enough to allow him within arms reach. Eventually, he starts hunting for two when he can, and when he goes into town, buys enough food to last you both.

And Trevor can’t place when he stopped viewing you as the creature that followed him every night and started viewing you as a kid. His kid. Well, maybe not his kid. You were a kid, and he looked out for you, and he knew damn well you’d seen too much shit but didn’t know enough about the, but he had no idea how to even begin to explain how important it was to keep you safe.

Maybe it’s when he realizes you can’t speak. Or that you can, but don’t. And even without that, you both learn to communicate. Gestures, looks, sign language, it all becomes an important part of the night. Trevor can’t read, side effect of being homeless since thirteen, and you can’t write, so coming up with new gestures for new words, or even going over old ones, was always an exercise in patience. Which Trevor knew was not something he had a lot of.

Maybe he changes his mind the first time you sat next to him by the fire. You’d been completely silent, but far from still, fidgety and pent up, and when he had passed you your plate, wound tight as a spring. Eventually, you had relaxed, and Trevor had been stuck keeping watch all night as you slept as a cat, tail curled around your body.

He didn’t really know when he changed his mind about you. He did know that he would be damned before he let anything happen to you though.

“Hop on. We’re going into town in about a mile, and I don’t want anyone seeing you.” He grunts, motioning to the thick fur on the lining of his coat, and even though you huff in offense, you shift into one of you smaller forms, the white fur blending seamlessly and nearly totally indistinguishable.

“Next time pick something other than a ferret. Don’t want you getting turned into some fucker’s coat.” He mutters, and there’s a sharp nip to his shoulder, and he jolts. You were a cheeky little fucker.

“Do that again and I’m throwing you.” He mutters, and he feels you shift, black eyes peeking out from under the coat curiously. That was one thing he couldn’t stand about you. You had seemingly no fucking self-preservation.

“Get back in the cloak, idiot. The whole reason we do that is so you can hide.” He hisses, and you literally hiss, ears pinned back as you glare angrily at him. “Don’t fucking take the tone with me, this is for your fucking safety.”

The walls of the city are in view now, and he feels his stomach drop when he sees the top of a massive cathedral where there didn’t used to be one.

“Oh fuck. Stay in the cloak.” For once, you don’t argue. In fact, you keep yourself perfectly hidden in the fur of the cloak, small body trembling

He moves quietly through the city, and every step he takes, he feels his stomach drop more and more. The Church was everywhere, and he can tell you know too, because you are perfectly still and silent, something he knew you hated.

The inn is nearly empty, though, and if that isn’t one of the few fucking miracles God would grant him, he doesn’t know what was.

“One of your rooms please.” He flicks a coin to the innkeep, who grunts, sliding him the key. For a second, he’s surprised at the lack of recognition in the man’s eyes, before he decides it was more likely he did recognize Trevor and simply didn’t give a shit. Hard to care about some random stranger being ex-communicated when your inn had no one fucking in it.

The door to the room is creaky, barely locks, and Trevor makes a note to fix that before you both go to bed. Maybe throw a chair in front of it incase the inn keep was an easy sell out.

“There we fucking go. Hop down.” You do quickly, shaking yourself, and it’s always so fucking weird to see you shape shift that it almost takes him off guard. One moment, there’s a cream and white ferret, and the next, there’s a kid.

“The Church didn’t used to be here?” You sign, or he figures you did. It looked about right.

“Nah, this is all new. We aren’t staying long, just long enough to restock and get to the next God-fearing hellhole in Wallachia.” He rolls his eyes, and you nod. “Speaking of which, tomorrow we go in and get supplies. I want you in one of your smaller forms, the ones you can use to hide pretty easy.”

You scowl, and he sighs, readying himself for an argument.

“You don’t have to take me everywhere, you know. I can help, so we can leave faster.”

“No. I’m not letting you out of my sight, especially not with the Church so far up our asses right now.” He grumbles, and motions to the adjoining room. “Now drop it and get clean so I can bathe, go on.”

He all but shoved you into the bathroom, and even though you look far from ready to drop the argument, you let him, scowling. You weren’t exactly one to turn down a chance for a hot bath.

He takes the opportunity to check his pack, and more importantly, that the small necklace he had gotten from a witch was still inside.

It gleams, silver and inconspicuous, in his hand, the chain delicate and small. It looks like it could be a family heirloom of some sort, the kind that were passed down from mother to daughter and father to son, cared for through the generations. If it wasn’t for the barely there warmth of the metal and the hum of magic against his hand, he would never know that it was enchanted.

He tightens his grip on the necklace. He hasn’t had to use it yet, and he didn’t plan to, but if he had to, he would.

He tucks it away before you get out of the bathroom, hair dripping wet and in clean clothes. With the dirt and mud from traveling gone, you look younger than you are, and Trevor can’t resist the urge to ruffle the wet locks, at which you shove at him.

“I just got clean! Go wash!”

You’re scowling, and he laughs, slipping past you into bathe.

By the time he’s out of the bath, you’ve curled up on the bed contently, nibbling on a bit of goat jerky.

“You know that was for the road, right? Now I’ve got to buy more.” He huffs, falling onto the bed with a grumble. You snort. “Just because I was going to buy more anyways, doesn’t mean to eat all our shit.”

You put the rest away, and there’s a moment where he nearly thinks you’re going to discover the necklace, his heart stopping in dread, but you don’t. Not that you would know what it does. He had gotten it in the early days of knowing you, given to him by a witch who claimed it could hold a shape-shifter in one form. You had refused to go into towns then, so he had come back with it and never spoken a damn word about it.

“I want you to start using your human form more, kid. You’re a damn cat half the time.” He huffs, and while he can’t see you’re face, curled away from him the way you were, he can tell you aren’t pleased. He can sort of understand it, even if he didn’t like it. Keeping you to one form would be going against your nature. It’d be like asking a vampire to not kill or a Belmont to not hunt monsters.

You don’t say anything.

“Kid, I’m serious. It’s dangerous enough traveling with me, I want you to learn how to fight, and to do that, you’ve got to be human, ya brat. We’re not going to advertise that you can shape shift, I don’t want the Church catching wind.”

At that, you turn over, eyes narrowed and harsh.

“Why can’t I just stay hidden in towns? I’ve helped before like that.”

“It’s not about whether you can help, damn it, I just- listen, you’re already traveling with me, which is dangerous enough. I’m ex-communicated. I don’t want more targets on your back, and people are eventually going to put it together.” He snaps, and he feels his temper rises, hot and angry and ready to fight, and he forces himself to breath for a second before he speaks. Scaring you was alarmingly easy, even if you had eventually gotten used to how rough he was around the edges, and he didn’t want to set back that progress.

“Word is going to travel that I’m traveling with someone, whether we like it or not. I’d prefer they not know you’re a fucking shapeshifter.”

You glare, but finally, nod, turning over so your back was to him.

Trevor sighs.

Another day without having to use the necklace was a win for him, even if you were pissed off. You knew as well as he did that he was the safest traveling companion you could find, for the time being, and he knew you well enough to know you wouldn’t brave the wilds on your own.

“Night, kid. Get some sleep.” You don’t respond, not even with the goodnight hum you usually did, and Trevor sighs, pulling his cloak around him. You had curled under the covers earlier, so you were plenty warm.

You slip into sleep first, like you always did, and when he follows, it’s with the knowledge that if anything were to happen, he would be ready to wake and defend the both of you.

[gold-rhine]

In an ideal universe where your wish fulfillment came true... any particular characters (including npcs) you'd like Kaeya to interact with when he gets there?

by wish fulfillment i assume you mean "kaeya moves to sumeru". to proper answer, i need to explain my pet crack theory which is Kaeya and Candace are related. buckle up babes

ok, so, we know chlothar is one of kaeya's ancestors. look at this pasty ugly dude. he did NOT produce the hottest man in the game by in-breeding with other pasty khaenriah nobles from same bloodlines. and we know it had to be same bloodline or kid gets hilichurled.

where are kaeya's hot genetics are coming from??? the darker skin?? blue eyes, dark blue hair?? like they could've at least give him the same brown skin tone to match, but no. and genshin matches relatives OBSESSIVELY. hot genetics HAVE to come from somewhere.

sumeru is near khaenriah. deshret's civilization is connected to khaenriah in canon, we know for a fact some of the survivors became part of khaenriah. deshret's civilization was also highly advanced AND fucked with the abyss. it's all not crack, thats just stating canon facts. so like it doesn't seem to me as a stretch to guess that the khaenriah's noble bloodline originated from Deshret. like, a lot of ppl connected to the desert have rhombs in their pupils, which we know is the main visible sign of this bloodline. like, thats not precisely khaenriah diamonds, but its fucking close, ok?

and Candace is canonically a direct descendent of Deshret himself. Brown skin - check, blue eye color - check, dark midnight blue hair - check, hotness - hell yeah check.

if you catch my drift, i think khaenriah's main noble bloodline, the one that is not hilichurled, hailed from deshret. their only choice to get a normal, non-cursed kid was to find the descendants of the same bloodline who did not leave desert for khaenriah and so were not cursed, and it's Candace's family. booom babyy

so in ideal world, Candace and Kaeya realize they're distant cousins bc she's like Alberich? My aunt married some shady dude named Alberich, was that your dad? like all kaeya always wanted was to belong, and here he finally will have family that is not trying to use him OR repressed anger issue catholics. and nahida let even scara to redeem after he tried to murder her. kaeya could finally come clean and just live as himself.

and he would be so needed too, like the desert ppl are in turmoil process of integrating with sumeru, criminals are overrunning aaru village. and who keeps treasure hoarders in mond in check with nothing but three dumb sergeants and a smile? kaeya would sort that shit out in a month. seriously, i had to go to liyue to farm treasure hoarders, there are no roaming mobs of them in mond. kaeya would also be the best liason to akademiya, growing up with nobility and being used to political games as mond's spymaster.

after this premise, there is literally not a single character in sumeru it would not be fun to see kaeya interacting with. he and dehya are immediately besties, they met on a shopping trip where candace was helping him choose his new skin outfit, and this same evening drunk dehya is princess carrying him out of tavern. he can amplify cyno's horrible puns into a weapon of mass destruction and tighnari can't even hate him, bc he also made ppl stop eating poisonous mushrooms by spreading rumors that if you eat too much of them, their spores will grow inside of and mindcontrol you. its absolute bullshit, but it worked, goddamit. kaeya could solve kaveh and alhaitham's communication problems in one evening at a bar, but he wouldn't, bc he's a little shit and he thinks its entertaining to watch and he's curious how long its gonna take them by themselves, but he would give them trollish little nudges. also, in nilou's tropue he would finally have a proper bohemian scene to exercise his flair for dramatics and inspire several epic poems by being a heartbreaker.

tldr little desert village has neither rich nobility nor grand destiny he's supposed to fulfill, but it has ppl who will accept and appreciate him, and i think realizing that he doesn't have to choose between a coinflip of bad and awful and learning to live for himself instead is one of kaeya's arcs best possible resolutions