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PSA ! Because I've seen it be brought up in YouTube videos, in the comments section on Itch, and in quite a few asks on Tumblr... Here are some common misconceptions about "14 Days With You" that I'd like to clear up!
14 Days With You is not an otome game; it's an amare game!! The main character (Angel) is not a female heroine/female protagonist, and they're not written to be female-coded. Yes, you have the option to customise your pronouns and how others perceive you, but there is no "default" or fixed narrative perspective for 14DWY (outside of a gender-neutral perspective).
If it isn't already obvious, Ren's characterisation heavily leans into the "dere" aspect of a yandere. He genuinely loves Angel... Just to a terrifying degree.
None of the cast members are heterosexual, so please don't assume that all of Teo's exes/flings were women, that Leon has only had girlfriends in the past, that Olivia is only attracted to good-looking men, etc. In a similar vein, I want to remind everyone that Jae-Hyun is gay and Kiara is a lesbian.
14DWY is also a romance game!! The whole point is to get to know Ren, grow closer with him, and ultimately romance him. So please stop asking me to include BTD, TDDUP, or W1WD mechanics in the game. It's completely fine if you like those types of genres — and I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum — but it's not the vibe I'm going for with 14DWY, and it's not something I want to write about.
Ren dyes his hair! He isn't wearing a pink wig.
Similarly... Violet, Jae, Moth, and Teo all dye their hair as well. But I'm happy if folks want to headcanon that "unnatural" hair colours can exist in the 14DWY universe.
Ren does not have DID or BPD. He's merely a desperate yandere who changes aspects of himself + creates different "personas" to appease Angel (and essentially become their ideal type). He definitely has a pessimistic outlook on his real self, though he does not identify or feel genuine in any of his created personas. I'm comfortable for those who have DID/BPD/etc to headcanon Ren as such, but I heavily discourage everyone else from doing so as I don't want to give them an incorrect or bad reputation.
The 18+ scenes are optional!!!!! The game is intended to be played without them — it's even turned off by default. Nobody is forced to sleep with Ren.
14 Days With You is a passion project that I work on in my free time for fun. I'm not making a profit off of it, I'm not looking to turn it into a career, and in the most /pos way possible; it's not important enough for me to make a priority. So... Please stop guilt-tripping me for updates when I already don't have enough time or luxury to work on it ;v;
(last edited: 19/101/24) — I may add more here over time!!
#No reblogs; just in case I add more to the list :3 (a.k.a reblogged posts won't automatically update with new edits)#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — shut up sai.#to be tagged later#I'll also add this to da pinned posed when I'm not on mobile
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can’t wait to make pixane real in tomodachi life
the original screenshot that i definitely didn’t forget to actually reference when drawing

#ninjago#zane julien#pixal borg#pixane#ninjago fanart#ninjago fandom#tomodachi life#pixal x zane#ninjago zane#ninjago pixal#lego ninjago#had to retype these tags bc tumblr mobile HATES ME#i love them yall#pixane my beloved#pixane season 3 please be real#i’m on my knees pixal come home PLEASE……#also dni on the lighting okay i am too lazy to fix it#/silly
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Lifetime Stew is so much darker in hindsight.
Sinclair and Don Quixote both get it, and it’s specifically *Lust*, not *Gluttony*, despite being food-themed. (Although Gluttony in Limbus terms is basically Greed, and Lust very broadly refers to “desire” for things that aren’t material).
So, Lifetime Stew is based on the fable of Stone Soup, wherein a man managed to feed his whole village by bringing each together with a different ingredient, to make a soup that would last forever. He just kept telling each person in the town square, “All it needs is one more ingredient,” and everyone just kept adding to it. Is the gist of it.
Sinclair and Don have voice lines that more or less imply the same thing - the Abnormality (Basilisoup) just wants everyone to try its delicious soup! Cute, silly concept, right?
So what do Sinclair and Don Quixote have in common?
(SPOILERS beyond this point! You’ve been warned)
In Canto 3, Sinclair recalls that once his mother, father, and sister all received full-body prosthetics, they no longer had a need to eat. The table was set and food was placed only for him. It’s one of the things he found so especially heartbreaking, that he was the only one left in his family who could still eat food. It’s such a core memory that it’s plastered on the window-wall of his cell for his base E.G.O., four roboticized humans sitting at the table, with no food present.
He desperately misses getting to share meals with his family.
And in La ManchaLand, the Bloodfiends have been starved of blood for the past 200 years, barely sustaining themselves on hemobars that don’t satisfy them. They can *live* without subsisting on human blood, but they’re utterly miserable doing so. The only one of the First Kindred’s clan who escaped such a fate was of course, Sancho, though she’d long forgotten she is a Bloodfiend, Faust says she still craves blood. She’d been in effect, the only Bloodfiend allowed to sate her cravings, while the rest of her kin starved. Being the only Bloodfiend able to escape their fate was so traumatic for Sancho that she wanted to forget everything about herself.
In other words, Basilisoup/Lifetime Stew is about “the joy of sharing a meal with family,” something both Sinclair and Don Quixote desperately wish for.
KIM JIHOON WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU
#limbus company#canto 7 spoilers#Don Quixote lcb#Sinclair lcb#Kim Jihoon was EVIL for doing this okay?#and doing it so early in the game#it doesn’t hit just after canto 3 though cause it’s harder to see the common thread between him and don#and how both tie into a soup-themed abnormality#but now? now i see it and i want to die#by the way i don’t know if i can make the read more work on mobile#so for now just heed the spoiler tags
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joel is a polite young man and i would die for him.
Played around with expressions a bit! had a lot of fun thinking about how weird his skull must look like now
#normal things that normal people say.#lots of fun imagining fucked up mutated bone structures and what that would do to a smile#im thinking only the top right corner and the neck can actually close fully#that the section on his chest is less mobile being fused to the sternum/ribs#and that his skull is actually split a bit so when he opens wider or frowns the left half actually drops a bit#so he's got a kinda heart-shaped head with an odd bald spot in the middle where that skin is being stretched.#...... i like anatomy#and thinking about inhuman body language <3#Look outside character design is so good#anyways. tags time#look outside#look outside joel#my art (:#fan art#monsters
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I still think about my mutuals tag where he said that he thinks Johnny feels so much and so deeply that it literally drove him crazy. And yeah. Just think about it constantly. It's. The statement I associate with him. The first thing I think of when I think of him.
I really, really, really dislike when people paint Johnny as this totally unfeeling asshole. Or at least, I heavily disagree with it. That's not to say he isn't an asshole, he 100% is. He's a jerk to the people around him, and of course there really is no excuse for how he treats people. But explanations =/= excuses.
I feel when people try to paint him that way, it comes from a place that lacks understanding or even an unwillingness to understand. This goes hand in hand where I'll see these people call him an unfeeling asshole while using terms associated with cluster b disorders and using the social weight they carry to demonize him, a very prevalent problem reflected in society and internet pop psychology culture.
They'll take the fact he's a 'narcissistic junkie', and not only at the same time use it to demonize people with NPD, but also drug users. It's just a very lazy way to paint a picture of his characterization, by using loaded terms as a crutch and letting their social weight, using yours and others people's biases, do the job for you. Like man, if you're going to make a critique of his character can we at least actually put some effort behind it.
Like. They think he's a user who's an unfeeling asshole to people just for the sake of being one. They see him engaging in these self endangering, self harming, self sabotaging behaviors and brush it off as nothing more than him being like that simply because he likes it, that he relishes in it even. Simply because he wants and chooses to be like that.
They don't see him using as a way of numbing himself (this especially with the fact drugs are the first thing he goes for when Alt breaks it off with him). They don't see that constant toxic push and pull in his relationships as self sabotage. They don't see the fact him going on that OP was a suicide mission. Literally.
I truly believe he never intended to come back from that mission, evident in his last exchange with Kerry, evident in a LOT of his own lyrics. (Black Dog, Ballad of Buck Ravers.)
Johnny clearly is passionate. He clearly has things he cares about. He clearly feels.
I'd even go so far as to say he genuinely does care about the people in his life, he just simply doesn't know how to show it properly or in a way that's healthy for anyone involved. Even when Alt breaks up with him, and he pushes her away for it, he still ends up chasing after her before she's even left the venue. He still tries to protect her. When Alt gets abducted, and yeah, he's being a leadheaded stubborn idiot about it, he still goes after her.
And even if it's self aggrandizing in a lot of ways, he still cares about her life enough to raid a whole fucking tower for her. Even if it's more in the view of what Arasaka took from him, than what it did to her, he still cares about her in his own way. He still grieves her. He's still broken up when she dies right in front of him, and he still acts out even if it's violent and angry. His grief has ALWAYS manifested this way.
When he sees the headlines about Kerry, he asks V to check up on him, to visit him. He even asks Kerry about it because (I think) it came from a place of genuine worry shown the best way he can show it, a straightforward question and dropping it when he gets an answer, no matter how truthful the answer is. When Kerry gets the idea for a one time reunion, Johnny agrees to it because he thinks 'Kerry needs this'.
I also think people see that he's a very angry person and attribute 'unfeeling' to that. Because to them, to a lot of people, anger isn't a valid emotion nor one with as much value as happiness or sadness. That's it's something less than. Even if anger was all he felt, it's still a feeling. He still feels it. He still feels.
His anger, though it's execution is obviously a problem, it's extremely fucking justified and valid. It's born from the mistreatment of a system that only destroys people's lives. Born from a system that only knows how to take, how to hurt, how to kill.
The same system that took, not just a literal piece of Johnny, but so many pieces of his identity and his life that he literally tries to project himself as an entirely new person to escape this.
Johnny cares about how the system treats people, especially people like him. How it uses people and chews them up and discards them when it's taken all it can from them. Johnny cares so much he becomes not just a voice, but thinks he is- and in a lot of ways he does really become one- a symbol for people like him.
That OP functioned as another rescue mission for Alt, another statement for his ideals, and his blaze of glory to go out on his own terms.
Johnny cares about things. Johnny cares about people. He has feelings. Complicated, convoluted, deeply traumatized feelings. Feelings that are so intense, that it harms him. Feelings that are so intense, that it bleeds from him and harms others, too.
And honestly, I'd say the one and only person he stopped truly caring about was himself. A long, long time ago.
#theres also other words we can use other than calling him a narcissist guys cmon#hes self absorbed. self centered. selfish. self conceited even. like#lets try using actual character traits rather than generalizing and demonizing#actual disorders that ppl actually have irl and insinuating theyre less than for <3#just a thought!#this also isnt to say people dont have to like his character like dude i get it#hes *horrible* to people in his interpersonal relationships. i see that scene with alt and kerry and get so mad at him#i felt a literal pit in my stomach when i saw how he grabbed alts head and pulled her in and spit literal vitriol in her face#but he is a much more complex (even interesting) character than abusing cluster b terms and calling it a day#its lazy. youre gonna hate him put some effort in it man.#i honestly want to see honest critiques and analyses why people dislike his character thru n thru with no wiggle room like.#it for sure would make for interesting conversations#but if i see one more#'i hate him bc hes clearly a narcissist that doesnt care abt anyone but homself and hes a horrible despicable person for it'#i might actually lose my fucking mind#cyberpunk 2077#johnny silverhand#ult speaking#(*this isnt to say people have to like his character..#one day I'm fucking going to Tumblr hq n learning code j to make it so i can EDIT FUCKING TAGS ON MOBILE UGHRFKH)
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I don't think Senshi would play Cooking Mama. He would think it's a great game for the kids to have but it wouldn't appeal to him like the real thing. He wouldn't play any actual cooking sims, either. He would play Tetris and Candy Crush.
#dungeon meshi#funny talking tag#He would LIKE Cooking Mama#he'd play a few recipies and say Oh that's cute#and give the DS back and say I'm glad this is encouraging kids to get into cooking :)#I'M SAYING THIS AS A COOKING MAMA SUPER FAN#I LOVE COOKING MAMA.#One of my favorite games. The state of my Cooking Mama 3 DS cartridge is DIREEE#and I can accept that Senshi would not play it#He is a mobile phone gamer.#He doesn't seem very tech literate but I mean that in the like...#He could use a laptop and update a cooking blog and that's about it.#If something went wrong he would have to get someone else to help him.#Falin built a gaming PC though.
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the family
#arty#smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#life series fanart#geminitay#geminitay fanart#traffic smp#life series#gemjoel#<- ?#not rlly but sure#2 posts in a row!!#i havent had internet in a bit so i couldnt post things properly from my laptop#but i realized i could just move the files to my phone so hurray 🎉#3 posts in a row* im not changinf it tumblr mobile tag system is ASS
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btw if you're a browser user and don't have xkit you should get it. like yes you can perma delete posts off your dash that you don't wanna see, fuck around with tumblrs color pallet to your hearts content, and mass edit your tags with a button, but do you know what the best part of xkit is? TAG BUNDLES
#you flick a funky little button and it dumps all your tags onto a post#and you can make MULTIPLE bundles#so like i have 3 different queue bundles made depending on whether its gonna be destiel fanart dean fanart or samwena fanart#and then i have my core destiel tag bundle but then i have my mpreg destiel tag bundle#and you get the picture#listen i get using mobile esp if you dont have a great computer (or computer in general) but if you have one and post a lot#i highly recommend using the computer for posting and mobile for when you're out of the house#bc xkit is SO GOOD
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Seeing ppl talking about and wishing for a skz comeback within the next month between the end of the latam concerts and the start of the jp concerts is really frying my brain rn
#this is why i will never believe the average kpop fan actually cares about their fave idols health and well being#bc have they not been touring for months. doing skzcodes still. ate giant hiptape and now the mixtape.#how are you already expecting more i hope after these mexican concerts they have a good 2 or 3 weeks off to reset their body clocks & rest#wild to me how so many ppl need new things all the time as well like do u never get overwhelmed with all this stuff all the time#ignore my typos im on mobile and cant fix tags lmao
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Muriel and I have the same mbti and favorite flower X3

youtube
🪵🐓☄️
🏞️💚💐
🐻🍳🐺
✿ฺ✿ฺ✿ฺ✿ฺ✿ฺ
#I've found out i really like making stimboards#And this blog is purely self indulgent so i can post as many as i want >:3#Muriel#muriel arcana#My postz#stimboardz#Muriel pinz#Pinz#Muriel stimboard#Arcana stimboard#The arcana stimboard#My stimboardz#Ooh boy I've got a stimboard tag now#muriel of the kokhuri#The arcana Muriel#Also i found out how to add more tham 10 pics!#You have to go on the tumblr website rather than the app#Which is kinda stupid imo#Im on mobile btw#Im so excited to make more stimboards!!!#I love them
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Conan sent me here!
[SPOILER TERRITORY]
It was a pretty dick move for MC to just bail on Ren and Elanor at the aquarium. Wouldn't it be better to have an option to either go with Leon or stay with the other two?
⌞♥⌝ Technically, you do!! ^^ If you choose not to go into the closet, you'll (eventually) go with Leon. Every other choice lets you stay with Ren and Elanor.
In saying all that, I don't think there's much point in offering another choice since you don't really get any extra scenes with Elanor and Ren afterwards. Regardless of whether you go into the closet or not, Elanor and Teo will always leave, and Ren will show up again no matter what choice you make. So... You just have to choose whether you want to spend more time with Leon or Ren, I guess lol
But I can see where you're coming from, and you definitely have a point!! But at the end of the day, it's just a video game, so I wouldn't look too deeply (or personally) into some of the characters' actions. Some things are just there for the sake of plot progression ^^
🌷 Game dev yapping under the cut (if anyone cares to read about that hehe /pos) 🌷
I personally don't think Leon's route would've been as fun if Ren and Elanor were to tag along, especially considering how all three share very similar dynamics when it comes to interacting with Angel (a.k.a. being overly protective/motherly with Angel. The dialogue with those three would be very... bland and overbearing in my opinion shjshg).
I also wouldn't find it engaging (as a player) to spend the entire day consoling Teo while playing mediator with him, Jae, Elanor, and Ren as well. If I added Leon to the scene, I feel like there'd be too much going on and not enough focus on him.
Also... Teo, Elanor, and Ren all had more than enough screen time up until that point!! Since Leon was missing for most of Day 4, I wanted Leon enjoyers to have a personal moment with him — without everyone else around. And Ren... Well, he's the main love interest, so he naturally has to be around for most of the game lmao
Anyways!! Sorry for yammering hsghjs
#I'm also on mobile for the next week or so (I didn't bring my laptop charger with me </3) so formatting will be a lil bit different!!#No fancy ''answered'' gradient text for now :(#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — shut up sai.#aceduchessdragoness#to be tagged later
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DAVE JONES as HALSIN SILVERBOUGH
— Baldur's Gate 3 (2023), dev. Larian Studios
+ BONUS:
#dave jones#davejonesedit#djonesedit#halsin silverbough#halsinsilverboughedit#halsin#halsinedit#baldur's gate 3#baldur'sgate3edit#bg3#bg3edit#gamingedit#dailygaming#my gif.#useroaks#HERE’S YOUR MAN ERIN !!!#FOR ERIN <3#the only reason i made a gif in almost 3 years#i was going to gif astarion but i thought i'd give erin a gift to show how grateful i am for them :)#mutuals if you want to be tagged in bg3 stuff then let me know#(who knows if i will take another 3 year break after this lol)#this looks so shitty on mobile#please look at this on a desktop 😭
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three cheers for amuro's birthday
#amuro ray#mobile suit gundam#gundam 0079#mobile suit zeta gundam#char's counterattack#art tag#ended up doing birthday chibis again because i want more practice with that style#but also because i always procrastinate on birthday art lol#i colorpicked the palettes for all 3 of these guys from the huge vault of screenshots i have of their respective shows/movies
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another mini procreate doodle but this time its Lunara pre-surface 👀 not exactly canon (well idk yet) but still!!!!!! my poor sweet girl 💔
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#tav#bg3 tav#bg3 oc#baldur’s gate oc#lunara posting#bob the artist#ignore the red eyes i wanted to draw her with red eyes#I read somewhere once that drow can change eye color depending on the mood#*their mood (im on mobile it won’t let me edit tags 💔)#i dont know if thats like canon lore but if it is im totally applying it to lunara IDC!!!!!#lunara lore
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something so monstrous pt.2
(in which kas feeds from steve and triggers a bad migraine pt.2)
🤍🌷 read part 1 here this part gets really intense on the migraine. descriptions of immense pain, fever dreams, and vomiting, some body horror imagery bc pain can be fun like that
Time and space lose all meaning as Steve remains on the precipice of something that is too violent to be called sleep, but not harsh enough yet to be unconsciousness. Real sensations evade him as everything turns into pain immediately. Even the twitch of his finger becomes a thundering blaze of blinding pain shooting through his body and settling behind his eye until he is sure he will wake up blind.
The fear of that is everpresent, the blind spots too real to ignore every time it goes like this, and he imagines how they will grow. He imagines how they get worse every time until one day the pain inside his skull will be so immense it will take his eyesight in exchange for alleviation.
And even though it is unbearable, he opens his eyes whenever he can, just to make sure he can see still. It’s an added veil of terror that covers him whole and consumes him slowly but continually.
At some point he notices something cold and wet being placed over his eyes, adding another layer of darkness that is welcome, even if it leaves an imprint of pressure and sensation on his forehead that makes his skin tear around it, his skull cracking and caving in beneath the touch.
And still it helps a little, pulling him further toward consciousness but not further toward the pain itself. But Steve can only whimper weakly in response, six feet under a thick cloud of cotton-filled smog that even turns breathing into a chore, polluting his lungs with fear and horror and agony without compare.
He does fall into a fitful sleep at some point, grateful for the short reprieve, but it does nothing to alleviate his exhaustion.
It feels like his eyeballs are being pushed into his skull for what must be hours upon hours, and the pain is so unbearable, so horrible, that he's not at all surprised when nausea rises in his chest, his body responding to its current state with confusion and a hard-reset.
Steve keens, trying to roll onto his side, groaning at the flares of pain shooting up into his skull and down into his limbs. They only worsen the nausea and it's pure instinct that gives him the strength to sit up.
"Kas?” he whispers, swallowing thickly against another wave. "Bathroom?”
Instead of giving him directions or pulling him up to drag him there, Kas wastes no time. He gets up off the floor, approaching him with shuffling steps once more, and gently but quickly lifts Steve off the bed in a hold — firm, yet gentle — that brings another sting of tears to Steve's eyes. Pain and vulnerability and the need for everything to be over. That’s what makes him cry.
Still he manages to hold on, his head rolling onto Kas's shoulder, the skin of his neck blissfully cool against Steve’s overheated forehead pressing into him.
Make it stop, he thinks. Longs. Aches. It’s supposed to be over. It’s all supposed to be over now.
He whimpers again, and imagines that Kas is the one to softly shush him this time.
The coolness of Kas's neck is gone all too soon as the vampire sets Steve on the hard, uncomfortable bathroom floor. He doesn't go far, though, crouching down beside him and holding him up over the toilet. Steve can't see anything, but still he’s grateful that Kas left the lights off, the bathroom tinged in the same darkness as his bedroom.
Pathetically, Steve rests his forehead on the toilet seat, chasing the coldness of it as pain and nausea reach their peak. It’s disgusting, but be’s not strong enough to care. A whine breaks from him, and he wishes Kas would leave. Even though the cold hand on his neck feels good, and even though he knows he wouldn't be able to hold himself up right now.
I'm not weak, he wants to say. And maybe he does. But he can't recognise his own voice right now.
"Not weak, maybe, but pathetic."
No.
"You know you are."
Shut up. Go away.
It doesn't make sense for Mr Munson to suddenly be here with them, to stand in the doorway and watch his nephew, who is more monster than human these days, holding up the pathetic form of Steve, who is more pain than human. More smoke than human. More vulnerable weakness than remotely human.
Go away. Eddie? I want him to go away. Tell— Go ‘way.
The hand wanders, pulling Steve against cool skin again so his forehead rests against the toilet no longer, basking in the cold touch and the warmth of a body to hold him.
"Safe," Kas says, and Steve wants to badly to believe him. Wants Wayne to leave, wants everyone to leave and just let him suffer in silence and solitude like always.
Wayne starts talking again, but Steve can't hear him this time as he suddenly heaves and retches, throwing up what little he had to eat today. Over and over and over.
It goes like this for a long time. He has no idea how long. Has no idea where he even is anymore.
The world tilts a few times when he loses his grip, his arms buckling, his hands spasming and giving out, and still he never falls. Only ever feels the cold, damp skin of Kas’s neck.
Kas has to carry him to bed when he's done and on the brink of passing out again, and Steve doesn’t mind this time. Kas also hands him a glass of water or two before pushing him back to lie down again. That’s nice.
The wet cloth returns, and Steve isn't aware of his surroundings for much more after that.
——
The next time Steve comes to, he feels like he was freshly dragged through Lover’s Lake until his lungs gave out. His head is pulsing violently, his senses are sluggish and everything feels foggy. He has no idea where he is, the room pitch black around him as he lifts a lukewarm damp cloth from his eyes.
A soft groan falls from his lips as he stretches his aching, cramped limbs, rubbing his hands over his face and regaining the feeling in his body. Little pinpricks of phantom pain shoot through him, his mouth tastes like ash and his head protests rather violently against his pathetic attempt at sitting up.
He is disoriented and something about his vision is still messed up, something in the depths of the room not quite right and leaving him with a dizziness he can’t quite shake, followed by a wave of anxiety that something’s wrong with his eyes.
He blinks. Blinks again, finding more things in the strange room as he does, his sluggish brain slowly catching up and filling in the blanks.
It all comes back to him like a tidal wave when he suddenly finds himself blinking at a pair of red eyes, softly glowing and wide open.
“Kas,” he croaks, his throat absolutely parched.
One second he’s wincing at that, the next he finds a cool glass of water pressed into his hands before the eyes and the shadowy form they belong to retreat to the foot of the bed again.
“Thanks,” he murmurs, stalling as he takes a sip. Embarrassment rises in him, but he doesn’t want to apologise. The thought of that somehow makes the vulnerability that much worse, so he tries to ignore it. It’ll all be fine if they simply not acknowledge it.
He wants to ask for the time instead, wants to know how much the migraine took from him this time, but he knows Kas doesn’t really understand the concept of it all, let alone know the numbers.
A silence settles between them and it’s somewhere between welcome and uncomfortable. Just like everything that happens in Hawkins. It makes Steve feel like a ghost again, but this time he’s a ghost in the room, not just in his own head. He’s the one who’s out of place.
With a little sigh, he places the glass on the makeshift nightstand again and falls over onto his side. His head is mad at him for it, still feeling too fragile for sudden movements, but lying down feels better than sitting.
There’s a huff from Kas that sounds more amused than derisive, so Steve looks at him. Looks at the shimmer in those eyes before closing his own again, not wanting to be looked at right now. Not wanting to face it.
“You,” Kas says then, his voice quiet and without the edge of that animalistic growl. The sound of someone who’s not meant to speak at all. The souvenir of someone who was human once before Evil grabbed him and modified him to His liking.
“Me,” Steve says, an automatic response, just as quiet. He’s listening.
“How… How are…” Kas struggles, huffing in frustration at the words that refuse to come, but still it’s the most coherent Steve has ever heard him. It makes him sit up half way again; leaning his weight on one arm to focus all his foggy and cloudy attention on the vampire trying to ask him how he is feeling.
No more words come, though, the question half finished in the air between them. But somehow it makes Steve smile. Just a little bit. This feels important. And huge.
“My head hurts,” he answers truthfully, amused when Kas’s eyes snap back to his. To search them. To communicate something.
“Hurts?”
“Yeah. It will, for a while. Always does. Nothing to do about it, really.” He wishes he felt as indifferent to it as he sounds, but that’s just the tiredness clouding his tone. It’s fast approaching now that he knows he’s relatively safe. Now that he knows he can rest. His arm gives out and he slides, slowly this time, back to lie on the pillow. “But it’s not as bad. And the other pain is gone, so…”
So. He could go home now. He should, probably. Ignoring the weakness in his bones and the exhaustion in his every fiber. If he closed his eyes again right now, he could fall asleep. Still, maybe he should—
“Stay,” Kas says again, and Steve really should have figured. He’s not quite well enough to really fight him on that, though, so he shrugs.
“Fine,” he mumbles into the pillow, halfway back to slumberland already.
There’s movement on the foot of the bed, and before he knows it Kas has tucked him in again, draped across the pillows as he is. It’s still unreal, that, but Steve won’t complain. What’s even more unreal, though, is the image Steve gets of Kas curling up by the foot of the bed in a similar position. As if he still means to keep watch.
It’s ridiculous. A little weird. And sort of endearing.
——
The next time Steve wakes, everything around him is a little brighter, daylight fighting weakly to fill the room, but it stands no chance against the large wooden planks and thick curtains meant to block it out permanently.
He blinks away the heaviness, taking stock of his body. There is a crick in his neck and burgeoning cramps in his side and hip from the position he’s still in, and this head still is a pulsing, aching mess — but no more than usual.
He taps the pads of his fingers to his thumb before flexing his hands. Only then does he stretch the rest of his body and announce his wakefulness.
Opposite him, at the foot of the bed, Kas is already awake and still in the same position that Steve saw him last. Did he even sleep? Does he need that? Or has he just been staring at Steve, watching him, ready to carry him to the bathroom again for round two.
The thought of that makes his skin crawl.
“Hi,” he says to fill the silence that is all too inviting for his spiralling mind.
Kas grunts, but it sounds more like a hum. Sort of gentle around the edges. He doesn’t move, doesn’t seem at all fazed that they’re just kind of staring at each other. Steve swallows, not really sure how to go from here.
He fists the blanket and rubs the linen bedding between his fingers, feels the rough fabric catching on the callouses along his hands as uncomfortable seconds tick by. Still Kas doesn’t move.
“Listen, man,” Steve says at last, thinking back to yesterday’s events and the vampire’s sudden care. “Thanks, alright? What you did, that was, uh. That was nice. You didn’t have to do any of that.”
Another hum, and it occurs to Steve that Kas is back in his normal state, retreated back into his mind, hiding from the world himself now that it no longer needs him. It’s a strange thought, that Steve being hurt would be what brings him back. If at all. Maybe he’s reading it all wrong. Maybe it as just a coincidence, or maybe Kas tasted something in his blood that made him want to improve Steve’s physical state for selfish purposes. That’s probably more likely.
But it makes him feel even more wrong-footed than before, and it leaves him hyper-aware of the situation. Of their dynamic. Indifference and annoyance and… He doesn’t want it to change, doesn’t want some kind of debt between himself and Kas — especially not when Kas has no means to really settle it. But he also can’t feign some kind of gratitude when what he feels the most is mortification and embarrassment; and he sure as hell doesn’t want Kas to know that either.
So he throws back the blanket and gets out of the bed, a little dizzy at first, but he doesn’t care as he slips into his shoes and hurries out of the room.
He just wants to leave. Get out of here and go home, go back to bed and get over the mortification of having been seen like this. Of having been taken care of. By someone who doesn’t even like him. By someone who hissed and snapped at him one moment and then carried him to the bathroom the next.
“It looks like there’s nothing human left in him, but we do have data that suggest otherwise.” Owens’s words echo through his mind as he crosses the living room. “It seems to be in hiding, the Munson part of him; that’s our hope at least. That you can get him back out one day, make him win over the vampire part. It could be like a self defence mechanism, I guess. We hope he can still be coaxed back into the land of the living. How, though, we don’t know.”
Was this what happened? Has Steve’s weakness triggered the human part of Kas’s tortured brain to take over? No, that can’t be.
It seems unreal. Unlikely. Wayne telling him stories or Dustin talking about their campaign, that should have helped. Even Mike playing the guitar, or Robin rambling about something or other; all of that was much more close to who Munson was. Or used to be. Eddie Munson never struck Steve as someone who took care of people naturally. Someone who stepped in. He stepped up, sure, but only ever for the wrong reasons.
It makes no sense. So it must be wrong; just Steve’s exhausted brain grasping at straws. It usually does that, anyway. Nobody knows if Eddie is even still in there. Part of Steve hopes he’s not.
Just as he reaches for the front door, ready to just get out of here and pretend like nothing happened, he feels a presence behind him. Kas followed him out of the bedroom, standing in the doorway now with an unreadable expression. It's the blank one he usually takes on, but where before it was normal, it throws Steve off now. Maybe because he saw how Kas can look at him. How expressive his eyes can get.
He holds them, the red shimmer a little dimmer out here in the brighter living room.
And maybe it's the blankness in those eyes, or the lack of judgment in Kas's every action, but whatever it is, it makes Steve let go of the door and turn to face Kas properly.
"Why'd you do it?"
The vampire inclines his head. Listening. Always listening. Steve doesn't know how he never noticed that. It seemed so primitive before. Like how a dog will react to its owner speaking, but never process the words. Kas processes, though. So Steve keeps going.
"Why'd you... You kept saying that word. Safe. Do you, uh. Do you know what it means?"
Slowly, his eyes growing a little less blank, Kas nods.
Steve looks around the cabin, swallowing thickly, still feeling so out of place in here, still feeling the need to run and leave it far behind. But something makes him stay. Makes him want to understand.
"You wanted me to feel safe?" Again, Kas nods. "Why?"
There is hesitation there, and Steve wonders if it's because he doesn't want to tell him, if he doesn't know the answer, or if he doesn't know how to answer. It's a loaded question, maybe.
"Pain," he says at last, his voice barely discernible from a growl, but somehow Steve seems attuned to it now. Maybe because he listens now. Because he wants to know. To understand.
He waits, watching as Kas struggles for more words once more. Just like last night.
"Know... Know... pain. Know.” He taps his temple with a clawed hand, and Steve's heart falls, his chest aching with realisation.
Right. He would. He would know pain like that. If what the doc says is right, if what Vecna taunted them with is right, if every working theory the kids have is right, then… yeah. Kas would know. He’s know something about pain. More than any of them. Pain so intense it splits you apart from yourself.
"Shit," Steve whispers more to himself than to the room, crossing his arms in front of his chest to hug himself and keep from digging deeper, keep his heart from falling further, and keep the horror at bay.
He doesn't want to imagine the kind of torture Kas went through. Is still going through, if what the doctors say has even more truth to it. If Munson is still in there, still suffering because human minds have a way of holding on to pain — Steve knows soemthing about that, too.
"I'm sorry," he offers. It's all he can offer. In the end, it’s all that’s left.
And still it's so lame. It's not enough.
But Kas just nods again, a pained shadow of a smile appearing on his face. Something transpires between them in that moment, Steve can feel it, but he can't really define it. Maybe some kind of understanding. Some kind of safety.
"I gotta..." he starts, motioning to the door behind him. "I gotta go. Will you be fine? Did you have enough, y'know, to drink?"
Another nod, and the smile widens a little. Looks a little less pained this time.
"Good," Steve says, stuffing his hands into his pockets, lifting his shoulders to his ears, trying and failing to seem casual in the face of those glowing eyes. "I’ll– I'll see you around, yeah?"
And then he's out the door, his head spinning and aching, his steps heavy with the weight of whatever has changed between him and Kas in the past twenty-four hours.
... sooo. part 3 anyone?
🤍 permanent tag list gang: @skiddit @inklessletter @aringofsalt @hellion-child @stobin-cryptid @hotluncheddie @gutterflower77 @auroraplume @steddieonbigboy @n0-1-important @stevesjockstrap @brainvines @puppy-steve @izzy2210 @itsall-taken @mangoinacan13 @madigoround @pukner @i-amthepizzaman @swimmingbirdrunningrock @hammity-hammer @stevesbipanic @bitchysunflower @estrellami-1 @finntheehumaneater @goodolefashionedloverboi (lmk if you want on or off, for this story or permanently) 🤍 tagging for this work only: @forestnymph-666 @little-trash-ghost @jupitersgonemissing
#steddie#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#kas eddie munson#kas takes care of steve fic#this part is downright short for me lmao#dio words#something so monstrous#i have a lot of things to say about pain and monstrosity but instead i just juxtapose them with an actual monster#and then bend the understanding of humanity around that instead#if the tag list doesn't work pls lmk some of these tags be looking wonky on mobile#the end of this is super rushed but 1) steve is still disoriented n weak 2) the mortifying ordeal of having been taken care of must be fled#3) too many thoughts too many realisations and things rearranging overwritten by the need to leave#so pls know it’s intentional and real life is abrasive like that sometimes hdhdh
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It's every iteration.
It's every iteration of V that will always find Johnny. Every iteration of V that Johnny grows to care about. It's every iteration of each other, in every universe, that will always find each other. They'll always become inseparable, tied together in unfathomable ways. Ways they could never truly unravel from each other in the end, no matter the end.
They'll always be destined for one another. No matter what face is worn. No matter what universe. No matter what, they're always meant to be. No matter what, the stars will always align for them, just to come crashing down from the sky.
#am i taking the simple fundamental process of the game's character creation and giving it a thematic metaphor? LOL yeah. yeah.#they are soulmates that traverse time and space and the laws of the fucking universe and they will always find each other#they are written in the fucking STARS man UGH I CANT#i bring forth my case to the tribunal court that they are destined to be literal fucking soulmates for the rest of ever and beyond#(and my case is just a manilla folder with a green sticky note slapped inside with 'Diagnosis: Sick In The Head#'Treatment: Should Probably Take A Nap or Something IDK'#scribbled in red)#((i haven't slept and i cant get them off my mind rn 😭#need to actually be brought out back bc HOW TF else am i meant to get sleep like this😭���))#JUST THINK ABOUT IT THO#it doesn't matter what v looks like. their background or their history. fuck even their gender.#it doesnt matter what brand of asshole johnny what hes done or said in the memories weve seen#they are always going to find each other in whatever variation of their lives they find themselves in#its. sweet. (and doomed and heartbreaking bc the story will always end the same too it means they'll also always lose one or the other#AND NOW IM MAKING MYSELF INCONSOLABLE 😭😭)#(***whatever special brand of asshole Johnny is*** i HATE mobile plz just let me edit tags here too 😭)#this doesnt even have to be romantic either. they're destined to be each others literal soulmate no matter the label we put on them#silverv#cyberpunk 2077#johnny silverhand#v cyberpunk#masc v#fem v#nonbinary v#female v#male v#(clearing this from my drafts <3)#ult speaking#writing 💚💚#(bc why not)
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