#no shaming the number of WIPs either XD

[cristalknife]

WIP Folder Game

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

@myulalie tagged me and once you see the list you'll get why it took forever and one day for me to actually post it. Conveniently divided by fandom because that's how I keep track of them... There is some reason to my madness... What you see as chaos it's my order...

Dead boy detectives: 1. A Cat's Bitch [cricketcat] 2. Day 2 - Paul Rowland was actually a demon - Or Charles had been raised by a demon escaped from hell with the sole purpose of being sent to hell to take his place [payneland] 3. Every change you make (it's one small act of destruction)[payneland] 4. Bi-Charles Maurice [gen/payneland] 5. Open comm [payneland] 6. You Are The Most Important Person In The World To Me [payneland] 7. I was made for letters not for messages [Edwin char study] 8. St Hilarion Boarding School Secret Sorcery Society [payneland endgame] 9. Desire's friendship [Charles & Desire of the Endless] 10. Reverse verse ideas [payneland] 11. possession/shapeshifting [payneland] 12. I will stop playing nice [cricketcat] 13. Edwin's subspace [undecided] 14. premature ejaculation [undecided] 15. How to get adopted by two ghost dads [payneland, palasaki] 16. part fae Charles [payneland] 17. alpha x alpha [payneland] 18. Bad Touch [NonCon Esther/Charles]

Kinnporsche - The Series: 19. It’s, Not Like That For Us [TimeTay] 20. Making Dreams Come True [Chay centric, KinnPorsche] 21. Not so broken brotherly bonds - convo [unholy trinity (Kim & Khun & Kinn)] 22. PP-PorschePete Fighting For Love [PorschePete] 23. KIMCHAY angstfuck [Kimchay] 24. VP headpat [VegasPete] 25. VP Pete tearing up diamond [VegasPete] 26. VPT complementary clothes [VegasPeteTay] 27. Tay & Chay [Tay & Chay] 28. VPT [VegasPeteTay] 29. BigKimChay [BigKimChay] 30. KC -The Surprises of Magical Realities: Original 3 days timeline [Kimchay] 31. KC -The Surprises of Magical Realities: Porsche [Kimchay] 32. ArmKhun [ArmKhun] 33. VP domestic - Vegas is the head of the minor family [VegasPete] 34. KimPeteVegas [KimPeteVegas]

Love In The Air (thai): 35. I always wanted to become a CEO… [PaySky] 36. From the outside looking in [PayuSky, in the frame of the polycule RainPayuPaySky]

Glee: 37. WIP Should your family fall short mine will adopt you KAW134 In Lima [Kadam] 38. What if auditioning at the Winter Showcase came with its own rep currency? [Kadam] 39. Let's try this again - Kadam [Kadam] 40. “Yes yes I know I’m not a catch like you” [Kadam] 41. Save the last dance for me [Kadam] 42. dance me to the end of love [Kadam] 43. It’s Never Too Late To Choose Happyness [Kadam] 44. Already Too Late, A Little Too Early [Kadam endgame] 45. On my Own [Kurt centric] 46. Gift For Skarlet Mikaelis 666 [Kadam] 47. Gift For NikiJuly17th [Kadam endgame] 48. Faint away I'll always catch you [Kadam] 49. Come over here, and make me [Kadam] 50. Day 1 [Kadam] 51. kadam kitty's pov [Kadam]

NCIS: 52. unnamed Agent Afloat [Tony Dinozzo/Rodney McKay] 53. Too Late To Apologize [Tony Dinozzo/Rodney McKay]

Encanto: 54. She is my daughter / I'm thinking of my daughter [Bruno is Mirabel's father] 55. Papa Bruno angsty prompt [Bruno is Mirabel's father]

Shadowhunters: 56. Words are powerful… even more so when you're a warlock ~ Alec side Vol 1 [Malec] 57. Words are powerful… even more so when you're a warlock ~ Magnus side Vol 2 [Malec] 58. Wingo - Once he was introduced to the shadow world [Raphal/Alec] 59. Wingo - Rude Sequel [Malec] 60. Disrispect the living but hail the dead [dargon!Alec, pairing undecided] 61. Selkie!Alec [Selkie!Alec, pairing undecided] 62. no easy way out [Alec centric] 63. Life is a beach [Alec centric] 64. This wasn’t the price we agreed on [pre-Malec] 65. savior whisperer [Alec centric] 66. a broken heart leads to endless heartbreak [post breakup Alec] 67. Clave approved book of gray [Malec] 68. Magic tether snip [Malec] 69. The House Of Angst ~ Tell Me You Love Me, Even If It Is A Lie [pairing undecided] 70. The House Of Angst ~ Spine and Archer's Paradox [Alec centric] 71. The House Of Angst ~ The Dichotomy Of Touches [Malec] 72. The House Of Angst ~ Saphael ace platonic love bliss [Saphael] 73. The House Of Angst ~ Which way should I go, left where nothing is right, or right where nothing is left? Space Between [Alec centric] 74. The House Of Angst ~ It's all coming back to me [Vampire!Alec] 75. Tales Of Magic And Mahyem [Malec endgame] 76. We stay separate from the downworlder for good reasons [warlock!Alec] 77. Kings & Dragons [dragon!Alec, Malec] 78. Here There Be Dragons - Prompts [Malec with dragons bonded] 79. Lorenzo & Alec as family post 3.18 breakup 80. Winged Protectors ~ The Sands Of Edom Aweken [Malec] 81. having a child 82. Mini soulmates ~ Did I really drink that much last night? [Malec]

Tagging (no pressure and just if you feel like it) and making it a you problem 😹 : @cannibalisticcorpse, @littlechameleonguy, @angelonpoison, @coleslaww, @highpriestessofjogan, @voiidvagabond, @thefanficsmustflow and anyone else feeling to play ^w^

[thewriterowl]

👀 🖊📊🌝✨ for the fanfic ask game <3

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?: At this point, i seem to have no shame...but...let me think...I don't believe I actually have a project start but I have ideas. You know me, they are hella dark. Just anything with a Mand'alor Din kidnapping and breaking Luke seems to be my weird jam.

📊 Current number of WIPs: Erm...I have 17? XD not sure if all will see the light of day. But they are what I have started to the point they have their own document saved for me to continue. And all basically DinLuke or Luke focused.

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?: That is a toughie. I really am just so focused on Luke...it terms of just writing into a story, possibly Plo Koon or Thrawn. For more of a character focus (either main or a bit more in the forefront) Anakin.

✨ Choose three adjectives to complement your own writing: Not sure if I understand this...but maybe Dark, Ridiculous, Simping? XD

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP: A Lookout for Our Lonely (Luke raises his younger sister Rey and is in love with Grogu's Dad):

“Ok, Rey, three…two…” The little girl began to wiggle around on the couch, giggling excitedly as she hid behind her hands. Luke’s face dimpled at the sight. “One…one and a half…”

“Nooo, Luke!” She whined, wiggling around some more.

“One and three quarters…”

“Luuuuuke.” She continued to squirm but kept her hands over her eyes until she could peek.

He grinned and decided to show her some mercy, “Ok, open your eyes!”

She squealed in excitement and then promptly squealed again when her eyes landed on the boxed lunch presented before her. She pointed and bounced on her seat, “Ah, Totoro!”

The man laughed as he looked down at his handy-work, finding himself a little proud at the sight. 

The little lunch box, known as bento as he has discovered over the past year two years, had two nearly perfect triangle rice balls, specialized egg salad, sauteed vegetables, and a little bit of seasoned canned mayo-tuna. On the rice was dried seaweed cut to make a face to resemble a cat-bunny-thing. At least his skills were not that bad since Rey could figure out it was her favorite character.

To think a kid her age would hungrily demand that her daily lunches looked like this, vegetables and all. If it were in some anime she’d want to eat it.

He thanked whatever deity above that there was so much potential with vegetables and that rice was so cheap. She inhaled that.

Still, it would be nice to get her to be willing to eat more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches so he didn’t have to wake up as early to get this stuff made. Especially the rice. God…his rice-nightmares were still prominent. Burnt, mushy, undercooked…he drowned in the damned rice. He was still working hard on trying to get it down. One should never underestimate the work it took to make it.

‘She’ll eat greens and baked chicken and barely asks for dessert. Take what you got.’ He started to wrap up her box exactly as she likes. “Alright, so you approved of the Totoro lunch?”

“Yes!” She grinned, jumping to her feet on the couch and began to bounce.

“Feet off my bed, squishy.” He pinched her cheeks and helped her hop off. “Ok, I got your approval, so you go and finish getting dressed. I’ll do your hair as you have your milk and apple.”

[vdragon-creations]

More Danganronpa Headcanons!

Why? Because I can! And I have to wait for a Commissioner to get back to me about a WIP I just sent!

I Think I’m gunna try my hands at making some Headcanons for Mondo, Ishimaru, Leon, Kazuichi, and Kiibo this time a round! Just cause I wanna try and explore new characters. (And totally not because I fell hard for a certain Robo Boi! WHAAAAAAAT! YOU CRAZY GURL!) I’m still loyal to my man Yasuhiro! But I gotta spred the love! Cause these boi’s need it! Also, wanna mention that these are more like...Non-Killing Game AU Headcanaons. So yeah! ^^ 

Let’s do this!

Mondo:

Is a Semi decent carpenter, but there was that one time he fucked up the legs on a chair, and now one of Asahina’s shorts has a rip in it where there was a stray nail sticking out.

She wont let him live that down. And neither will Sakura.

Get’s pretty embarrassed/pissed off if someone touches his neck! The dude’s jacket practically covers that entire part of his body, so he’s not used to feeling anything touch him there!

He once let out a girlish scream when Leon poked him there once to wake him up during class! The rest of them are surprised Leon wasn’t killed right then and there.

Once he participated in a little competition between the classes to see who was the arm wrestling champ. He got pretty far till he had to go up against Gonta. He lost by a landslide, but he felt better loosing to a dude like him at least. 

Totally escorts any female classmate or student home on his bike if they ask, or he sees some creep hanging around them. 

He does get embarrassed about it though, and ends up yelling at them. This results in one of three things.

The girl runs away!

The girl just politely declines, and walks away kinda creeped out!

Or a mix of all, with the addition of the dude sees this, and get’s spooked himself, and fucks off

Ishimaru:

Has a bit of a panic attack and dies inside if he sees someone leaving the men’s restroom without washing their hands!

Carries scented hand sanitizers with him! At all times! No matter what! And must offer some to every single one of his classmates! 

Once he tripped in the halls while chasing after another rule breaker, and had to be carried to the nurse’s office. Now that alone wouldn’t have been a bad thing, except Sakura was the one who did it, and she carried him bridle style, much to his dismay. 

Mondo and Leon teased him about that one for months.

During Christmas, he’ll start screeching about PDA anytime he sees a Mistletoe, or people under it who are about to kiss! 

But will ultimately be the first one forced to stand underneath it by is classmates.

Stays behind after school hours to either clean, or poke his head into every class room to see if the teachers need help with anything.

He’s totally that guy who during the Gym Class or Sports festival, is bitching about how short the girls shorts are, but not realize he’s staring. There by making HIM the creep! 

Leon of all people was the one to point this out to him, only adding to the shame.

Leon:

It’s not hard for him to start catching feelings for basically any girl meets.

Totally has an Instagram where he posts shirtless pics! He’s pretty popular thanks to that, and his Baseball Skills.

Purposely taught himself English so he could flirt with some of the American and British chicks who visit his profile and leave comments.

He’s pretty used to going from girl to girl, so it’s safe to assume he’s used to getting dunked on by the girls he’s dumped. Getting called a pig, dirty looks, even some of them going so far as to pour their drinks on them at lunch. This he can handle!

Wanted so badly to start a band with Sayaka, Ibuki, Kaede, and Kazuichi! (Probably due to the punk look Soda always puts on!) But he was promptly let down by all of them! Cause Ibuki had her own shit to deal with, Kazuichi because he had no experience with music (at least any good ones, Stay tuned for that! ;3), Sayaka cause she’s already part of a group, and Kaede because punk wasn’t exactly her thing.

But what really stresses him out is when one of his Exes just.....doesn’t really seem to care! It feels so outta place to him, and it actually makes him pretty paranoid. Wondering if their plotting for revenge or some shit! So he’ll spend days after breaking up with a girl like this, just kinda....being a little bitch! XD

Secretly, I’m pretty sure they all turned him down because they thought he was coming on to them to a degree. 

Kazuichi:

Is a lot like Yasuhiro, he doesn’t like birds, but not because he thinks they work for the government. It’s because he doesn’t like most animals, they remind him of Gundham.

Miu makes him HIGHLY uncomfortable! Sure, she’s hot and stuff, but she’s a whole other level of fuckery that he wants no part of! She’s banned from entering his workshop, and so Kiibo is usually the one who comes in to grab something if Miu needs it. He completely get’s Kazuichi feeling put off by Miu.

However, Kazuichi is still pretty insistent on asking Kiibo if he can take him apart every time he comes to get something for Miu. Making the poor robot very uncomfortable!

He’s pretty jealous that Miu get’s to play with the Robot and he doesn’t. Get’s kinda salty about it.

Teruteru once gave him the idea that he should try to serenade Sonia. And so he did! Or at least he tried to. He got over the fence to the girls dorms, ripping his clothes in the prosses. Then when he got to the window (he thought was) of Sonia’s room, he threw a rock that was a bit too big at it, cracking the window and scaring the girl in the room! Waking up the whole dorms and he booked it out of there! 

He attempted this one more time, and was better prepared. But Sonia opened her window to see a Kazuichi dressed in a Ghillie Suit and wearing an army helmet holding a guitar! When he started to sing and play, it was now obvious why Ibuki refuses to let him sing along with any of her music! 

A girl from a neighboring room called the campus security to repot a strange dude outside the Girls dorms, while another one poked her head out of her window and began to throw things at him. 

He left soon after, but was caught by security and reprimanded. Now he refuses to listen to Teruteru has to say about anything.  

Kiibo:

Often get’s bossed around by Mui to get her things. He finds it rather degrading, but when she’s not being bossy, she’s helpful to him. So he puts up with it, as a way of saying thanks. 

One of these tasks he’s asked to do a lot is going over to Kazuichi’s Workshop to barrow tools and such. He hates doing it though, since Kazuichi is always wanting to take him apart. So he does his best to make these visits quick!

Miu gave him the ability to remove some of his heavy armor so he can wear clothing like normal. Surprisingly, This was his idea! He wanted to be able to enjoy the comforts of soft fabrics like most humans. And it would help him blend in a bit better.

Gonta and him get along very well! Mainly due to both of them having a hard time understanding things like sarcasm, harsher jokes, and certain social cues. This usually leads to them both learning at the same time when they hang out!

Miu is his wingman, weather he knows it or not! She’s always wanting to add new functions to him to make him more appealing. One of these is a thin velvet like coating on his armor that’s meant to make his metal less harsh on the skin if you touch him.

Another one of these features is a type of diffuser at the top of his skull under his hair! It releases a pleasant scent into his hair, similar to pheromones. The scent changes based on Kiibo’s emotions. 

Kokichi likes to openly mock Kiibo in front of new people. Like a lot!

Kiibo actually releases steam when he get’s too Angry or Embarrassed, but this is really rare. 

Get’s really curious about Occult, Paranormal, or Religious things. Sure, he finds some of it to be very silly, but he can’t help but wonder why some humans like those things! 

Some holiday traditions he finds weird too, and in some cases, a bit Robophobic. Like giving candy or sweets out on Valentines Day, when....well, he can’t fucking eat it! So he feels excluded in times like that.

He’s really confused about most PDA! Especially kissing! So humans just like...put their mouths together? And that’s like....supposed to mean deep affection? What’s so great about swapping fluids like that? Couldn’t they get sick? QUESTIONS! ANSWERS! HE MUST HAVE THEM!

His Ahoge doesn’t just change shape and move to show emotion, but it also tends to point in the direction that he’s attention is drawn too. Even when he’s trying to pretend he’s not looking at something! His hair is a dead give away!

Has a built in “Cellphone” in his head. Miu added it so it would be easier to contact him if needed. 

Everyone in his class has his number, except Kokichi! And it will stay that way!

.......Until Gonta gave it to him by being tricked into doing it!

And now he has a small panic attack every time his “Cellphone” rings. Praying to all that is good that he doesn’t hear “HEY KIIBOOOOOOOY!~<3″ on the other end!

[aashiqeddiediaz]

Author asks 4,14, 18

Thank you for the ask!

4. Number of 'wips' that are just totally never getting written, let's face it?

Honestly, 18. I have so many tabs open with those, trying to force my brain to work but then I keep finding new prompts like Eli’s prompt for Buck watching Eddie get ready in the morning.

Let it be put on record that I wasn’t even dreaming of writing when dawn breaks. It just happened xD

And that’s why I have so many WIPs [all of them Buddie <3].

14. If you could take one word and publicly shame it for having inadequate synonyms, which would you choose?

[I just answered this so I’m copy pasting the answer!]

Omfg I know there’s a resource I use that has 500 synonyms for ‘said’ but honestly, the word ‘said’ is just...out here. It’s so hard not to use the same words over and over because honestly, writing dialogue tags are the worst.

Kiss descriptions? The worst to write because literally how many times can you write “lick into his mouth” without it becoming gross.

Yank, tug, pull. There aren’t enough synonyms for those.

Pain doesn’t have enough synonyms either, and when I write whump, it’s so hard to capture it in adequate words. Also blood.

There’s so many words and I’m constantly searching “________ synonyms” because I need to be varied.

18. Provide a summary of the hellscape that is your creative process from idea to publish?

OKAY BUT THIS QUESTION IS going to be answered in how I write Buck and Eddie since I only write fic for those two idiots, mainly. That’s why I’m tagging tis too xD

When I get an idea, sometimes I get this really huge flash of a scene, and I absolutely have to get it down. So I’m out here furiously typing a whole scene that has no premise, no proper exposition, no climax, literally nothing but soft exchanges of descriptions and dialogues (like that scene I sent you a couple of days ago!). the ivory keys started out exactly like that; I wanted Buck to be playing the piano, so the whole parlour scene was the first thing written. 

frayed was like that too, but the starting scene was the first thing written. I wanted a scene of Buck taking care of Eddie, despite the fact that he’s furious, and so that happened.

Sometimes, I’ll end up losing momentum immediately after that scene is written. Like I’ll try my best to continue it but it doesn’t flow all that nice. The biggest tip that I have, though? Try to visualize the entire thing as if you’re watching a movie. That’s exactly how I write all my works, and that’s how I get the descriptions down. It helps to watch videos and clips with something similar, other times I’ll pull up a few of my memories and try to note things. 

A lot of the soft, domestic scenes I write for Buddie are modeled after my cousin-brother and his wife (who have three young kids), because I stayed with them for like...a whole month in between the time I came back from India last summer and my semester started. Then two weeks before that too, so my head is full with domestic ideas.

(Note: Desi families are not as obvious about things like kissing in front of kids or even outside their bedroom period, so those are embellishments I add lmao. But like...the two of them have always been a couple where you can tell that they’re in love even when they aren’t obvious about it and that is exactly how I see Buddie.)

Most of the time, when I write whump or angst, I’m modeling a few experiences off my own life. Like...in to glimpse red, Buck’s fear of losing Eddie, the need to make sure he was taken care of...all of that was taken vividly from my own heart. (watch me be vulnerable on the internet! yes!). And I’m pre-med so injuries and all, I can at least try to make it as medically accurate as possible based on my own knowledge. It counts as a form of studying, guys.

But a lot of the time, the two characters give off a vibe. 

Like, Eddie gives off a vibe that he’s not tactile, but with Buck and Christopher, he canonically is. And I just get the whole...private love, open affection thing from Buck and Eddie. Because despite what we’ve seen of Buck and relationships, his bond with Eddie and Christopher is a lot different. I can see them being the ones where they’re a little more distant when they’re in public but the second they’re at home? All bets are off. 

Suddenly the hand-holding, kissing, pressing grounding touches, cuddling, hair stroking...all of that is fair game.

Publishing on AO3 is the worst at time because I have to think of a title. It’s honestly not that often that I get an inspiration for a title, but sometimes I’ll be lucky enough to have a title even before a fic! xD At that point, I usually rephrase something I wrote, or use a song lyric.

Ah...it’s a trip xD There’s so many other things but this is pretty much a fic in itself, sorry about that xD 

It truly is a hellscape.

Send me fic writer asks!

[pinkletterday]

Writer's Year In Review

This year has been a revelation. I went from deeply, irrevocably believing I can't write fiction at all to knowing that I'm actually pretty good at it!

It's given me the confidence to find work as a freelance writer and editor in real life, after years of unemployment and anxious paralysis resulting from chronic illness and trauma. A lot of other factors also helped but the fic writing played a huge role in getting my shit together.

General Fic Stats:

Word Count on AO3: 92284

Fics posted to AO3: 23

Favourite Fic:

Kiss It Better (Westallen).This fic is my baby. I love little Iris and little Barry in it so much, the hurt and confusion in each other they attempted to heal, how that healing carried into their adult love and family. It will always and always be my favourite thing I have ever written. Wee!stallen is my jam, and the reason I ship them so damn hard.

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). Ngl, I love this for the sheer amount of truly gratifying comments. Every single one of them have been emotional and flaily. It all makes me feel like I may have finally levelled up. Hallelujah. xD

Funniest Fic:

The Care and Feeding (Queenwestallen). This is my ultimate OT3. This fic, written as a list and discussion is 95% humour and contains some of my best banter and (I feel) characterization. An element I'm really proud of is how I managed to center and include all their important non-romantic relationships in their conversations. Iris's boisterous female friends, Oliver's friends, Cisco and Caitlin's snarky commentary all shoehorned themselves into the list with hilarious and wholesome results. 

It's not a popular OT3 but I feel like it's a good first attempt to drag this ship to water. xD

Cutest Fic:

Dancing Queen (Olivarry). Even after a year this contiues to be the fic with the highest kudos ratio (except for the more recent one) and the second most bookmarked. I love getting comments on this because they are all some variation of "my teeth hurt. I have diabetes!" xD Well, I did build it around a rainbow sprinkle icing sugar donut, but there is a significant dollop of angst there in the middle. A flangst donut.

Your Vigil In My Keeping (Westallen). This fic has less than 200 hits but has the highest kudos ratio of all. I guess kid fic isn't everyone's cup of tea, but Wee!stallen is cute af yo. I headcanon the origins of Barry and Iris's steadfast partnership in this story, where her faith and belief in him is as strong as his protectiveness of her, all tied up in the language and innocence of children.

Kinkiest Fic:

WA Smut and Kink Collection. I literally just posted this yesterday lol. So far it's just a face-sitting short, but I have quite a few hard and soft kinks lined up. Westallen needs more hard smut tbh, and they have such a unique powerfully loving dynamic that every kink I'm writing has required me to come at it a little bit sideways with a whole lot of emotional focus.

Saddest Fic:

Three fics I can't choose from.

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). This is basically Iris's grief and fear in a raging tempest, and it's strongly implied that the future Nora has warned them of will come to pass regardless of what they do. The fact is that there already is and will be a timeline where Iris loses Barry, just as there must be one where she won't, because that is the nature of potentiality. 

The Paradigm of Uncertainty (Westallen). This was a drabble almost, that ruminates on the probability that speedsters do not erase timelines but abandon them, along those versions of their loved ones. It's as @rkwago's brilliant comment says: "Iris hurts in so many weird, cosmic ways that her life is almost an eldritch horror house," which is the most perfect description ever of what it means to be a time traveller's wife.

The Universal Constant (Gen, background WA). A lot of people find the way Barry goes off on Joe cathartic in this fic, and so do I. But it's not so simple. I don't think Joe was wrong to form the views he did, or that anyone was in the wrong really. As @sophiainspace pointed out, it's a mediation of grief and love, their parallels and continuations between parents and children and lovers. The fact that it takes Henry's death for Barry to find the adult language to articulate to Joe why he will always believe in his father's innocence is a tragedy that cuts three ways.

(This fic is also the reason I have a folder in my drive marked "how to get away with murder" and probably a likely reason to get me arrested one day. xD)

Most Popular Fic:

Strangers In The Cold (Coldflash). The Coldflash fandom is a joy to feed. This was my first smut fic which was preceded by an entire chapter of banter about nothing in particular (except it ended up establishing a background that gave birth to the Coldflash vs Olivarry polyam series) And holy wow, for a newbie writer, the response has been amazing. Looking back, I wince at a lot of writing mistakes and its undeniably rough, but it really bolstered my confidence.

(I feel a little guilty that all my other CF stories are still in my WiP folder while I update the polyam series at snail's pace.)

The Shape of Us (Westallen). I wrote this on tumblr half-asleep one night, half as a rambly headcanon...and woke up to literally one hundred freaking notes. What the hell. Now at over 260, it's the most popular fic I've ever posted on tumblr.

I never consciously intended it to be a body-positivity fic but apparently women really relate to the insecurities of growing older and watching our bodies change with marriage, children and the sheer hectic pace of life. Even my non-fandom friends reblogged it simply for its representation of "real women". Barry's response is my own wish fulfillment fantasy; the sort of total acceptance and validation that we wish we could hear it the times we can't find it in ourselves. In light of the virulent body-shaming Candice Patton has been subjected to ever since she was revealed to have gained a fuller figure in S5, I'm very glad to have written it.

Least Popular Fic:

Carry On (Gen) This character study of Oliver Queen only has 135 hits a year after posting, which is par for the course with gen. But has a solid 12% kudos ratio, which means it's probably as good as I think it is. It's one of my favourite and easiest fics I have ever written.

Love Me Like You Do (Olivarry) Lordy, if my first Coldflash smut filled me with confidence, my first Olivarry smutfic all but ruined it. I struggled with it for a long time, unlike SitC, which I suppose shows in the over-descriptions. I got carried away with the quipping and I guess Barry topping at all is really not popular with slash fans?

Still, I'm honestly toying with the idea of deleting and rewriting it. At least it was a learning experience - don't write smut unless it makes you feel horny yourself.  

Most Challenging Fic:

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). I think the reason stories you knock off in two hours are instantly popular while the ones you slaved over for weeks barely get any attention is because the process is reflected in the ease of reading. But this one is an exception. It was an absolute monster, taking three weeks and several revisions to wrestle into submission - and it paid off in spades!  Going by the response, I seem to have achieved the wow factor I was going for.

My only regret is that I posted it on tumblr before the last revision that finally made it work, so that too many readers saw the lacklustre version rather than the polished one.

Honorable Mention:

A Stitch In Time (Olivarry for now, eventual Queenwestallen) Baby's first multi-chapter! Admittedly chapters 3 and 4 have been languishing in my drive for a few months now and this thing has 100% more deleted scenes and outtakes posted to my tumblr than the actual story on AO3. But I'm so proud of it! I learned to write action scenes because of it, how to write climaxes, dream sequences, news articles and tell a story in several different formats. It made me rediscover my empathy for Felicity and write her as a PoV character, think deeply on Laurel Lance's losses and give voice to her struggles, and explore how a real friendship and understanding could evolve between Oliver and Iris out of their mutual love for Barry. (Centering female characters within manpain narratives, ftw! Otoh, I centered Iris so much it veered off the Olivarry rails into Queenwestallen territory on its own)

There is so much meaty conflict and delicious looming disaster in this story that I'm determined going to keep at it, even if slow and steady. If only to bring the light of Barry/Iris/Oliver into the world. xD

Holding On (Olivarry). This real-world disability AU deals with chronic and mental illness and the precariousness and personal demons of that reality. I tore out the rawest parts of my life for this fic and put them on display so that I couldn't bear to show it to anyone for a year after it was written.

I'm very glad I did finally brush it off and put it up because it has struck a chord with so many people, especially other Spoonies. The low number of hits on a fic that deals in hurt/comfort rather stings, as I can't help but think the disinterest is because of the "disability" and "neurodivergence" tags. But I still think it's one of the best things I've written and one I'll always be proudest of.

General Reflections:

Things I've learned over the past year of writing:

- Self-deprecation is not my friend. I need to be honest enough with myself to acknowledge when my writing is good, because either I self-validate and build confidence or I become a black hole of insecurity where validation goes to die. And if I think I'm a bit better than I actually am, it's not just okay but necessary to believe it.

- What I call writer's block is perfectionism, anxiety and physical and mental fatigue. If I don't eat, sleep, hydrate and acheive a relaxed mental state, I won't be able to write. 

- Momentum is more my friend than any amount of inspiration and motivation. Sitting my ass down and make it a habit to churn out X number of words a day, even bad writing, will do more to help me than polishing an idea to a high shine. 

- If I don't forgive myself for the stories I can't write I'll never write anything. I am doing this for free, to share the love and joy and therefore obligated to no one. 

- I'm capable of writing things I don't have the first idea how to write. My fingers on a keyboard can paint the picture my brain can't visualize. 

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I am going to make it a personal goal to write at least 15k words per month, learn to stick to a posting schedule where possible.  and end next year with an additional 150k words posted. 

To everyone who follows this blog, commented, reblogged and liked my posts - I see and remember and appreciate every one of you. You're the reason I feel seen and valued and why I am motivated to keep writing through all the difficulties life throws at me. <3<3<3

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

End of year fan fic ask, multiples of 5 :) if you've done of of those, go to the next number :)

5. Most popular fic this year

I haven’t really written that much, or so it feels like. The #1 fic of this year was just finished this year. I started Can’t Take the Heat back in the summer of 2015 (gah) and finished it this spring. #2 was It Sucks to be You, which I started in the winter of 2016 and finished in September. #3 is a fic called Toy With Me which I started this year... and haven’t finished. 

Damn, this turned into a callout post really fast.  XD

10. Shortest WIP of the year

Thankfully, I have very few fics that are incomplete (my previous answer notwithstanding), so Toy With Me is the winner on this one at 6249 words. My shortest complete fic this year was To Kill Ya (which was 1 word shorter than Brighten My Day) :)

15. something you learned this year

I’m a hypocrite. I need feedback in order to keep going and I know how important that feedback is to others, too, but I also have a hard time reading fic. I set a lot of barriers in my own way where I want to be as amazing a reader as my readers are for me, and because I know I can’t be I just don’t read anything at all. 

Also, I love to get comments but I go through long periods where I don’t reply to them. This is a new “quirk” I have, and I hate it. Basically, in my head, if I’m replying to comments then people know I’m on AO3 and if I’m on AO3, I should be either posting something or reading something. So I just read the comments and leave them marked unread until such time as I’m ready to post a new thing, and then I blitz the replies. 

tldr; I’m nowhere near as good a person as I want to be. Fingers crossed for 2018?

20. number of comments you haven’t read

I swear, I didn’t read this question until after I’d written the above! I’ve read every comment I’ve ever received, but I have (eep) 34 I need to reply to. 

*hides face in shame*

25. a fic you read this year that you think everyone should read

there’s a fic I haven’t read yet, but I have such faith in the author and in the prompt that I’m going to recommend it anyway. TMBMITW by @the-nerdy-stjarna. It’s based on the prompt for one of my ficathon fics, and it was my favourite one :)

see what I mean about being horrible about reading fic?

30. favourite fandom to read fic from this year?

I’ll always be hardcore FitzSimmons, but I’ve been enjoying fitzskimmons, bioquake, mackelena, quakerider, and pipsy as well when a drabble crosses my dash :)