#no seriously. i just learned about this series a few hours ago and i love every bit of it.

[wackysach]

togetherness makes anything effortless ! 🐛🌤

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"Alpha, Beta (& Omega)"

Rated: Explicit

Chapter Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3201

Pairing: Steve x Bucky

Tags: a/b/o, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, nobility/royalty au, alternate history, dom/sub elements, beta bucky, anal sex, oral sex, hurt/comfort, first time, age gap, domestic discipline, spanking, head of household, wedding night, Edwardian time period, m/f/m poly marriage

Summary: To save House Barnes from scandalous ruin, James must agree to a contracted marriage, accepting Lord Senator Steven Rogers as his Alpha, Husband, and Headship.

To read previous parts of this series first, go to the story's masterlist

19. A Courtship

This Chapter: "I want to get to know you, Steve. Really know you. Maybe even the parts that are hard to talk about. Because …” here he pauses, nervous to say it out loud. “Because I think maybe I could. Love you."

Setting up house with Steve is … unexpectedly endearing. Now that the honeymoon is over and they’re back home in New York and regular life is resuming, Bucky learns more about his new husband.

Steve snores sometimes, but only softly and in a way that actually kind of helps Bucky drift off to sleep better himself. Steve does have the occasional nightmare, but Bucky’s been able to wake him quickly enough, the few times that they’ve happened. Steve never seems very eager to talk about it, and Bucky finds that he can relate.

The one time that Bucky asks Steve about the two other spousal bedrooms, Steve gets a hurt look on his face that he tries to hide and tells Bucky that he can have his own separate room, if that’s what he prefers.

Bucky’s a little unsettled by how quickly he says no, just to make that hurt look go away. They continue to share a bed.

Steve takes his work as a Senator seriously, often preferring to have breakfast in his office, where he can read over the day’s briefings before heading out. But once he notices Bucky’s fondness for the morning room, he takes to joining him in there half of the time. Bucky pretends not to notice, while secretly finding it sweet.

Steve works long hours in the city during the week, but more than one afternoon finds him sneaking home to surprise Bucky with a kiss and a request for them to take a stroll together. It’s like they’re courting one another, only after the fact, and Bucky tries not to blush and smile like a dolt each time Steve shows up at noon, requesting one of their walks in Prospect Park.

Half the time they make it to the park. The other half of the time, well …

Bucky pants, still out of breath from what he's just finished doing. Or rather, from what Steve has just finished doing to him. His husband has just climbed back up and laid behind him in their bed. He’s humming lightly and stroking his hands over Bucky’s naked skin. “You liked that,” he says, sounding smug. Bucky looks back over his shoulder at him and gives him an incredulous look. Steve grins. "Yeah you did."

“… Eh,” Bucky feigns, still a little winded from the climax that Steve worked deliciously out of him only seconds ago. “It was nice.”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “‘Nice’, huh?” His face, from his chin all the way up to the tip of his nose, is pink and messy with spit. “‘Nice’?”

Bucky tucks his lips in and rolls away again so Steve can’t see him smiling. “Mmhm,” he says. “Yeah. Nice.” There’s a beat of silence, then Steve growls and Bucky gasps as he starts tickling him, hands and fingers dancing over his ribs and stealing his breath away all over again. “Steve! No!” he half-laughs, half yelps. “Ah!”

“‘Nice’,” Steve is still repeating, grin evident in his tone as he attacks him mercilessly. “How’s this for nice then? Hm?”

“Ah! Okay! I’m sorry!” Bucky’s writhing, trying to escape, but Steve is strong and hauls him back in against his body. “It was great!” Bucky nearly shrieks, desperate to get away from the onslaught. “Amazing, the best! Ah!” Satisfied, Steve stops the attack and holds him tightly instead, nipping at his neck. Bucky heaves in his next breath, winded. “Oh, Jesus.”

Steve hums against his neck, a little bit of a pleased growl in the sound. “Brat,” he grumbles. “‘Nice’.”

“You’re a sex god,” Bucky deadpans, halfway expecting another tickle or at least another nip to his neck for the quip, but instead he gets his husband rutting his very evident—and still clothed—erection against his backside. “I—oh,” he says, flushing all over again.

“Mm,” Steve hums in agreement, continuing to rub against him. He moves to hook one of his legs over Bucky’s, but Bucky shirks him off, moving down the bed to get in-between his legs instead.

He grins slyly up at Steve, running his hands over the now-rumpled fabric of his trousers. “You’re gonna have to change before you go back to work,” he says. “Or else everybody’ll know what you’ve been up to.”

Steve’s eyes shine down at him. “Maybe I want them to know.”

Bucky scoffs, liking the idea but knowing that Steve is full of shit—he’d never make such a spectacle of himself. Still, the thought of it is nice. He unbuckles Steve’s belt, then starts in on the fastenings to his fly. “Such impropriety, Senator Rogers,” he scolds, trying his darndest not to let his grin slip back through. “Imagine the scandal that would cause.” He reaches into his underwear, watching Steve’s expression as his fingers find his cock. “Mm. People would talk for days.”

“Weeks,” Steve gasps, face going pink alarmingly fast as Bucky strokes him. “Oh, Buck.”

“What about me, huh? If I went out looking like this. Out on our walk.” Steve shivers, and Bucky thrills a little at how the other man’s eyes track up and down his body, full of lust as he imagines it. “Yeah,” Bucky encourages, rubbing his thumb under the head of Steve’s cock where he’s leaking, spreading the moisture around. “After this I could just throw my clothes back on, maybe not even do everything all the way up. Leave something unbuttoned, or untucked.” He squeezes and wrings his hand downwards, making Steve grunt. “I’d be so sloppy.”

“Oh, fuck,” Steve whispers, and Bucky knows him well enough now to know when his husband is getting close to coming sooner than he’d like. “Bucky, Bucky wait. Oh, Honey. S-slow down.”

He climbs further up the bed, laying himself out atop Steve’s bulk. He doesn’t slow down by much, but a little. He starts mouthing at Steve’s lips, licking him and tasting, teasing him with the promise of his mouth more than a proper kiss. “My hair’d be all messed up,” he whispers. “And my lips’d be all red and … and swollen—”

Steve surges up and connects their mouths in a fierce kiss, his big hands holding Bucky’s head so that he can’t pull away. Bucky moans at the dominance of it, and Steve pulls back just enough to husk at him, “What would make ‘em so swollen, huh Baby? You gonna show me?”

Bucky’s never been more eager to demonstrate his meaning. He moans, still turned on even though he’s just had his own release. He mashes their mouths together again before nodding desperately against Steve’s face and pulling away, moving down his body to get back between his legs. Steve curses and shoves his pants and underwear down just enough to bear himself. Bucky’s instantly wrapping his hand back around him, stroking the hot, reddened length of his cock and rubbing his cheek against it. “Fuck, Steve,” he breathes, sucking at the glans and working his hand against the plump skin of his knot. “God, so perfect.”

“Put it in your mouth,” Steve growls, and the Voiced command is so strong, so needy and so alpha that Bucky can’t do anything but obey. He opens wide and sinks down on Steve’s cock in one go, moaning like a whore as he does so.

… and that is the exact moment that the door to their bedroom opens and a maid comes bustling in with an armload of linens.

It takes a good long while for Steve to calm the maid down and convince her that she is not going to be fired for walking in on them.

“Gertie please, you don’t have to keep apologizing. I’m not angry.”

Bucky’s loitering by the edge of the room, desperate to extricate himself from this poor woman’s—girl’s, because Christ, she’s probably no older than Bucky himself—presence. Steve manages to convince the mortified Gertrude that she’s done nothing wrong and that all will be forgotten (Bucky would argue against that latter point), and then he sends her home for the day.

Bucky sort of grimaces politely at her as she passes and leaves the room, his face still feeling like it’s on fire. “Christ,” he mutters when she’s gone and it’s just the two of them again. “I’m never going to live this down.”

Steve tuts and walks over. “It’ll be alright. We’re married men. She only saw us doing what Spouses do.”

Bucky glares at him. “Oh sure. You’re not the one who got caught moaning like a whore with a cock halfway down your throat.”

Steve winces and draws Bucky in against his chest. “It’ll be fine.”

“Servants gossip,” Bucky pouts. “They’ll all know by tomorrow.”

“Honey …” Steve hedges, as if he isn’t sure he should say what comes next: “We are married, and we’ve been living here for nearly a month, now. Anyone in our employ would know that you and I are intimate together.”

Bucky pulls back, incensed. “What’s that supposed to mean?” When Steve just looks apologetic, Bucky pokes him in the chest. “Are you saying I’m loud, or something?”

“No! No that’s not what I meant. I mean, I’m sure we both are at times, but even still—”

“Oh great!” Bucky huffs, put out. “So all of our servants think I’m a great big floozie!”

Steve’s lips quirk. “A ‘floozie’?” Bucky pokes him again and tells him to shut up, and that just makes him laugh more. He kisses Bucky on the nose and once on each cheek, then moves down to his jaw and neck. He keeps it up, peppering kisses and reassuring Bucky that nobody thinks he’s the ‘great whore of Brooklyn’, until he gets the younger man to calm down. “So,” he says when he pulls back. He’s looking kindly at him in a way that makes it near impossible for Bucky to continue on with his pouting. “Are we still going for our walk?”

Bucky shrugs. “I don’t know.” In truth, he had been looking forward to it. But now he’s feeling oddly clingy and kind of just wants to keep Steve to himself for the time being. He presses his face into Steve’s neck and inhales his scent. “Can we just stay here? Eat in our room? In private?”

Steve hums and hugs him tightly, kissing his hair. “Sure, Honey. I’ll have our lunch brought up.” When Bucky pulls back and glares at him, he laughs and promises to give the servants strict instructions to knock and leave the trays outside the bedroom door.

Domestic life only holds its appeal for so long. Eventually, watching Steve leave to go work on interesting and important matters each day, while Bucky himself is left to dawdle at home and argue with Sharon about the aesthetics of the curtains or whatever else, grows old. He still kisses Steve sweetly goodbye when the alpha leaves their breakfast table and heads off into the city each morning, but slowly but surely, Bucky grows restless.

That’s how he finds his way back into the property’s garage one afternoon, having dodged Sharon’s questions about the guest list for some dinner party they’re apparently supposed to host soon. Bucky’s far more interested in tinkering with the motorbike he finds behind a bunch of rubbish. It’s seen its better days, that much is obvious as soon as he yanks the dusty tarp off of it. He recovers from a brief coughing fit triggered by the dirt and tosses the tarp aside with a curious grin. “Huh,” he says, running his hands over the cracked leather seat. This could be fun.

That night at dinner, he asks Steve about it. “There’s an old motorbike in the carriage house,” he says conversationally. “Who’s is it?”

Steve looks taken aback. “… Oh,” he says. “Is that out there?” Bucky raises an eyebrow, and Steve supplies, “It was mine.”

“Really?” Somehow, Bucky has a hard time picturing Steve zipping around on the thing. “I’m surprised. It’s not exactly a mode of transportation for the genteel.” Bucky's intrigued.

“Believe it or not. I used to consider myself somewhat of a rebel, I suppose." He hesitates. "Before my service.”

Before the war, goes unsaid, but Bucky hears it all the same. Not for the first time, he wonders if Steve had been such a consummate adult before he went off to war. He wants to ask about it, but doesn’t get the chance to say anything before Steve sobers and says,

“Don’t have much use for the thing now. I didn’t even know we still had it.”

“Jarvis said it came with the move. It’s kind of broken.”

“Mm.” Steve doesn’t seem keen on discussing it. “It’s not very safe. I’ll have him scrap it.”

“No!”

Steve pauses with his fork halfway to his mouth. “No?”

“I was thinking I’d work on it,” Bucky says. “As a project.”

“It’s a piece of junk,” Steve says. “I don’t even think it runs.”

Bucky tries hard not to roll his eyes. “Hence the ‘working on it’.”

“I didn’t know you were handy like that,” Steve says, managing to make it a question. His eyes flick to Bucky’s left hand, and Bucky scowls as he notices.

“Yeah, I am,” he says. “I can still do some things, Steve. I’m not completely useless.”

“I didn’t say that!”

He stabs another bite of his dinner, stuffing it in his mouth and chewing. “Sick and tired of sitting around here with nothing to do,” he grumbles. “You get to go off and be important every day and I’m stuck here."

Steve looks pained. “I’m sorry it’s so boring for you.”

“Hmph.” Bucky knew what he was getting into when he married Steve, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. “Being your housewife isn’t exactly my cup of tea,” he grunts.

“Hey.” Steve reaches across the table and takes his hand. He gives it a light squeeze. “I told you I don’t expect that.”

“Well Sharon sure does,” Bucky grumbles. “Yesterday she had me picking out window dressings.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Steve says, and Bucky can’t help but be grateful to him for that.

Steve releases his hand, and Bucky draws it in toward himself, feeling sheepish for having complained. “Thanks.” Silence stretches out between them for a long moment, before Bucky dares to ask, “Steve?”

“Hm?”

“… What was it like? The war?”

Steve tenses, and all his attention shifts back to Bucky in a very loaded way. “I don’t like to talk about it,” he says quietly. “Usually.”

Bucky bites his lip. “I know. But sometimes I get the feeling that it’s something I should ask about.” He takes a chance and reaches over the table like Steve had done, taking the alpha’s hand in his. Steve’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t pull away. Bucky tries to offer him a reassuring look. “You said you loved me, the other day.”

Slowly, Steve nods. “Yes. I did.”

Bucky swallows as he feels heat creep up his face. “I … I can’t say that back to you. Not yet.”

“Bucky, I don’t expect—”

“No, let me finish,” he says quickly. He forces himself to meet Steve’s gaze head on. “Look, trying to get you to divorce me was my only plan while we were in Europe.” Steve rolls his eyes and Bucky forges ahead, “I didn’t consider the alternative: that this could actually work, or that I could be happy with you.”

Steve’s expression pinches. “Buck,”

“But now I have considered it. And, well, I want to get to know you, Steve. Really know you. Maybe even the parts that are hard to talk about. Because …” here he pauses, nervous to put to words what he’s been thinking since they set up house in New York together. “Because I think maybe I could. Love you. I just need more, though. More time, and ...” he huffs, embarrassed at having admitted his feelings. “... Just, more.” The next time he dares to look up and meet Steve’s eyes, the man is practically beaming at him. Bucky chuckles self-consciously. “Come on now, don’t get all—”

Steve squeezes his hand. “Buck,” he entreats. “That makes me so happy. You know I’ve only ever wanted to make you happy. And I do love you, and you don’t have to say it back. Not ever, if it’s not what you feel. But—”

“Christ, Steve,” Bucky chuckles, embarrassed by how darned happy his words have made Steve. “Calm down. I just meant that I wanted to get to know you better. Really know you., ya know?”

"Yeah. I want that too, Buck."

“So, will you tell me? About your service? About the war?”

Steve doesn't look enthused bout it, but he doesn’t look like he’s closing himself off anymore, either. “I'd always wanted to join the service, back when I was younger.”

“Course you did.”

“Hey, don’t make fun.” He smirks. “I was overeager, yeah. Got my rank right out of the gates at eighteen and didn’t think anything of it. Not until we went to war a few years later.”

Bucky peers at him, noting the tense lines around his mouth. “Was it very horrible?”

“Not at first. But the conflict went on for too long, and then it became ..." he falters, frowning. "We shouldn’t have been down there. In Mexico. The fighting got bad fast.”

“You had to kill people,” Bucky says, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah.” Steve is staring at his plate, clearly remembering. “War is … it’s not noble. It’s not brave, either. It’s just a lot of ugly and dirty and mean.” He shakes his head. “I didn't learn that until I was already locked-in to an officer's commission. I had to follow orders, even though it wasn’t at all what I’d envisioned, or what I wanted to do for my country.” He looks across the table at Bucky, and the guilt in his eyes is heartbreaking to see. “I knew I was a good person, up until then. And after, well …” He shrugs. “After I came home, I wasn’t so sure anymore.”

A small, upset noise catches in Bucky's throat. “Steve, you are good.”

“I had to follow orders, Bucky,” Steve says sternly, and for the first time it feels like they're back to arguing “Some of them were wrong, but I followed them anyway. I was a good soldier, and a bad person.”

“Steve,”

He shakes his head, clearly wanting to put the topic to rest. “It’s over now. I’m a civilian again and I like it that way.”

“People still call you Captain,” Bucky says quietly.

“Yeah, they do. A formality.” Steve meets his eyes. “Having a normal life with you, having a husband and a home and an omega and children one day; it’s all I want now. And my time in the service is a big part of why. I tried doing something extraordinary, and all it did was give me nightmares.”

Bucky suddenly thinks he understands a lot more about why Steve was so quick to form an attachment to him and their marriage. “I get it,” he says. “Makes sense.”

Steve nods, seemingly done with discussing the topic. After a pause, he admits, “I hate talking about it, and I’m hoping you won’t ask much more. But ... I’m glad you wanted to ask. If that makes any sense.”

Bucky smiles softly. “Yeah. It does.”

They finish eating their dinner together in heavy yet companionable silence, and for the first time in their marriage, Bucky feels almost like an equal to Steve.

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03: The Return Of Five

Part 3 of ??

Parings: Five x Reader

Summary: (Y/n) Hargreeves has 7 adoptive siblings, all of which were born on the same day, of the same year, at the same hour. This phenomenon, somehow caused them all to get special powers. (Y/n) loved her siblings with all her heart, but there was one she just couldn’t stand, one that always seemed to get under her skin, and that was Five Hargreeves. The years flew by, with one sibling dead and another missing, the 6 that remained all went their separate ways. That is until the death of their father, Reginald Hargreeves. Now 29 years old, with all their own lives. The 6 remaining Hargreeves were brought back together for their fathers funeral, only for their missing brother to reappear out of no where, in his 16 year old body, saying that the world was going to end in 10 days. But it’s gonna take a lot more convincing for this dysfunctional family to even THINK about saving the world.

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‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☂️ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

~19 years ago~

Poking my head out my door I noticed Five's door ajar, the light from his desk lamp shining into the hallway. I could hear the smart ass grumbling about something that he was working on. Hoping to be able to sneak by him for once. I pushed my door open a little, activating my powers, camouflaging into my environment. Slowly closing the door quietly behind me, I started making my way over to the steps, only for the creak of a board to stop me in my tracks.

"Seriously?"

I heard from Five's room, a bright blue light shined in the middle of the hallway followed by the fluttering noise of his spacial jumps. The 10 year old boy appeared in the middle of the hallway, hair a mess, still in his uniform. "When are you gonna learn that-" he cut himself off, realizing that no one was around. I slowly started to continue towards the stairs on my tippy toes, as to avoid causing to much noise. The dark haired boy stood there, wracking his brain for some kind of answer to explain the creaking noise of the floorboards.

I was only a few feet away from the stairs, as an arm swung around my shoulders "And just where might we be going this fine evening?" A growl passed my lips in annoyance, shrugging his arm off my shoulders, I revealed myself to him. "How did you even know I was there?" My arms crossed as I faced the boy, shoving his hands in his pockets, a knowing smirk on his lips as he leaned forward.

"That's my little secret."

Green eyes sending a wink my way, only for him to straighten back up "And as much as I hate asking things twice..." he huffed "Where are we going this evening?" I scoffed, a confused look crossing my face "What do you mean 'we'?" Shoving past him, I quietly made my way down the steps. Only for Five to be standing at the bottom of the steps upon my departure down them. "Go back to your room Five." He shook his head, eyes narrowed at me as I walked passed him, having my eyes set on the front door.

Reappearing in front of me, I once again stopped in my tracks "I'm not letting you go out there by yourself." Rolling my eyes in response to Five's statement "I can handle myself out there." Five's hands moved in front of his uniform jacket, sticking them back in his shorts pockets "You aren't going out there alone." Crossing my arms in front of my chest, an annoyed look sat on my face as I stared down the boy in front of me.

"Oh yeah? Says who?"

His eyes narrowed, the corner of his lips lifting up into a small smirk "Says me." It was quiet between the two of us, both of us staring the other down, eyes unwavering. A look of amusement sat on one face, while the other held utter annoyance. Finally, I gave in, knowing he wasn't going to stop pestering me unless he tagged along. Stubborn ass. I thought, letting a small huff pass through my lips "Fine." I managed to walk past him, shoving my left shoulder into his own. "Just, keep up. I won't care if you need to stop to tie your shoe, I'll continue on without you." I almost reached the door, when Five's arrogant self appeared next to me.

"Trust me, I won't let you stray far from me."

Glancing over at the dark brown haired boy, a shit eating grin on his face, uniform jacket behind his arms, hands shoved into his shorts pockets. Rolling my eyes, I looked back towards the giant entrance doors in front of me "Whatever." I grumbled not wanting to drag this conversation on any longer. Opening one of the doors, I was quick to walk out, the troublesome Five Hargreeves following close behind me.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☂️ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

My ears picked up the sound of shoes hitting the floor, step after step. It was slow and barely there, but still able to be heard, I focused on the sound of someone walking, only for it to stop. It didn't sound to far away from me, a heavy breath could be heard from the person in the room.

My eyes fluttered open, letting out a small groan as I slowly sat up. "What the hell..." I mumbled, bringing a hand up to my head, pain coursing through it for a quick second, my body quickly healing itself, slowly making the pain stop. Then, I heard it. The voice of the boy who I used too love but also hate. "Welcome back to the land of the living." Closing my eyes, I refused to believe he was actually there. Because I knew that he was never coming back.

I thought I was passed this? I can't be hearing his voice again.

My ears picked up a noise, the movement of fabric. (E/c) eyes opening back up, darting around the room, hoping to god I wasn't just hearing things again. But at the same time, I hope I was. Because dealing with the voices would be easier than having to see him again after all these years. My mind went blank as my eyes caught sight of a familiar figure, Five Hargreeves stood in an (obviously borrowed) umbrella academy uniform, hands shoved in the shorts pockets. Leaning over my vanity, his green eyes examining every picture and piece of jewelry on it (which was very few). He got taller, dark brown hair over his forehead on the right side of his face. A hint of a chiseled jawline could be seen, his features having matured since I last laid my eyes on him.

All I could do was stare, so many emotions working their way through me all at once. I felt angry for him abandoning me, after promising that he would never leave. Happy that he's back, Five Hargreeves, the boy I hate, but also loved, was standing in my room again after all these years. Scared that he would leave once again, and I'd lose him for the second time. And finally, Sad, because deep down I knew this couldn't be him, after all, I used to hear his voice when no one was there, I could be seeing him now as well.

"Wha-What..."

I couldn't even get a sentence out, this seemed to grab the boy's attention, he straightened up as he looked over at me, forest green eyes sending me a hard glare. "Are you fucking stupid?" My eyes went wide at Five's sudden burst of anger, stomping towards me. I tried to sputter out something, anything, as he made his way towards me but my mind was blank. "What the hell were you thinking?! Sticking your damn hand into that portal!" An enraged huff left his lips, teeth clenched in anger.

I backed up a little on the bed feeling threatened I was still trying to process the fact that Five was here, standing in front of me. "I-I...Well... I just..." I couldn't find the words as I tried to say anything to explain myself but Five didn't give me the chance to continue, going back on his angry rant "You weren't thinking dumbass! Now we're both stuck in these pubescent bodies!" Gesturing between the two of us. Confused from his words, I let out a small scoff while asking "What do you mean 'both stuck'? You're the only teenager here." Green eyes rolling in annoyance, moving off to the side, he gestured towards my vanity with his right hand.

"Go take a look for yourself."

Moving my legs off the side of the bed, I quickly stood up, only to receive a dizzy spell in response to the fast movement. I closed my eyes, a hand shooting up to hold my head as I stumbled to the side, feeling as if I would fall. Five's eyes went wide, holding his arms out to catch me if I did fall. "Hey. Hey. Take it easy." The dark haired boy stated in an almost caring way. The dizzy feeling left as fast as it came, causing me to shake my head, the hand that was just on my forehead waved between me and Five. Grumbling out "I'm fine." My eyes opened as I made my way over to the vanity.

Placing my hands on it, leaning over a little to stare at the girl in the mirror. What the fuck? I recognized the person staring back at me in the mirror, it was my 16 year old self. Looking down at my clothes, there wasn't much of a difference, but they did seem a bit baggier than usual.  (E/c) eyes landing back on the mirror in front of me, hands gripping onto the vanity as if to stabilize myself from the shock of being back in my 16 year old body.

Anger coursed through me as my hands turned into fists on top of the vanity. Slamming them down against it, a small growl passed my lips, only for me to quickly close my eyes and try to steady my breathing. Calmly, I asked "What the hell did you do now?" Not bothering to turn towards him "I miss calculated when I jumped back in time." My brows furrowed in confusion, letting out a small breath as my anger faded, I turned back to face the 16 year old boy in front of me.

"What do you mean 'back in time'? You were in the future?"

Five let out a small huff, his eyes glancing off to the side for a quick second, gaze landing back on me "For over 4 decades." I shook my head in denial, trying to wrap my head around things. "That's impossible. You've only been gone-" Five finished my sentence with a nod of his head "For 16 years I know. But that's in your time." Walking a little closer to me "For me it's been over 4 decades." Closing my eyes for a few seconds I tried to piece things together.

Opening them I stated "That would mean that you're over 50 years old." Five's shoulders shrugged "58 if we're technically speaking." I narrowed my eyes at his 16 year old self "So then how..." I gestured to his whole body, causing his green eyes to roll in annoyance, letting out a huff he asked "Did you not hear a thing I just said?" Taking a few steps forward, an aggravated look sat on his face.

"No. Because I was to busy trying to process all this shit."

Gesturing around me Five pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he moved his hands back to his pockets, while opening his eyes. "I hate repeating myself, but since you are just as dim witted as the rest of the morons here..." Stepping forward, I scoffed in offense "Dim witted?! I-" Five didn't move an inch as the two of us stood face to face, staring down at me with the annoyed look that he always seemed to wear, as I looked back up at him anger written across my face.

Cutting me off " I- Five Hargreeves, miss calculated- made a mistake, when coming back here- to the present." I realized Five was purposely dumbing things down. My teeth grit in anger as I dug my nails into the palm of my hands. Five gestured between us "Which caused the two of us, to be stuck in these damn teenage bodies." A growl arose from the back of my throat, I turned away from five, closing my eyes as I tried to calm down, not wanting to get out of control. I heard the boy behind me suck in a small breath almost nervously, feeling his stare behind me.

I huffed and opened my eyes, feeling myself calm down a little as my nails dug into the palm of my hands, causing me to focus on the pain. "You're not getting angry?" Five asked skeptically, taking a few more deep breaths, I felt myself calming down. Turning back to face Five, my eyes opened, along with my fists. "Yeah. Something I've learned over the years." I stated, watching as his eyes fixated on my hands by my sides, that now had blood dripping down them.

"Bit of an unhealthy way to calm down, don't you think?"

Five's green eyes met my own, concern shining through them. His face held the same stoic expression he seemed to always wear, while his eyes held all his feelings on the matter. I glanced off to the side "It helps keep me grounded whenever I feel like I'm loosing control." My eyes moved back to meet his, the dark haired time traveler in front of me holding his stare on me, not wavering for a second. "Does this happen a lot? (Y/n), how much does this happen?" Five questioned, almost desperately, trying to put the pieces together as to why I need something to ground me.

My (e/c) eyes dropped down to my feet, hoping to avoid the questions he was currently asking. A small sigh passed Five's lips, "Come with me." He stated, looking up at him I opened my mouth to give him some kind of response. But he didn't seem to give me a choice in the matter as his right hand gently wrapped around my left wrist, carefully pulling me along behind him.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☂️ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Once we reached the bathroom, he let go of my wrist only to start looking through the cabinets above the sink. "Five I-" quickly shushing me, I sent him a glare.

"Sit."

Pointing at the closed toilet seat, his eyes never wavered from trying to find what he was looking for. I let out a small huff in defiance, only to end up giving in anyway, sitting down on top of the toilet seat. Placing the, cotton balls and gauze wrap on the counter, along with the Isopropyl Alcohol, he shut the cabinet and moved over to stand in front of me. "Hand." My (e/c) eyes stared up at him, dark brown hair hanging over his forehead, obstructing my view to his right eye.

When I didn't give him either of my hands, I noticed his green eyes roll, before his left hand came down to hold my left wrist. Gently pulling it towards him, palm open and facing up at him. "Shit. (Y/n), how many times have you done this?" My eyes drifted down to look at my open palm, scars, scratches and blood littered it. I shrugged, not wanting to answer his question. I heard a small huff escape his lips, his hands moved up to my sleeve and started to roll it up, only for my eyes to widen in fear. Trying to quickly move my arm away, but Five grabbed ahold of my wrist causing me to wince in pain.

He seemed to catch my small reaction, loosening his grip, I relaxed just a little. "I can take care of myself." Five's eyes seemed to narrow in anger, teeth clenching "Is this what you call taking care of yourself?!" Yanking up my sleeve, my eyes widened as I sucked in a breath of air, feeling the fabric rub against my recent cuts. "H-How did you-" scars and cuts now visible to the boy in front of me "I know a lot of things about you (Y/n)." Dabbing a cotton ball in the Alcohol, he continued "I know about you and Ben." It was barely there but I was able to hear a small waver in his voice as he told me. Five didn't waste anymore time as he gently rubbed the soaked cotton ball against my palm, covered in dried blood.

"I know about how Reginald treated you while I was away."

Once my hand was cleaned he moved up to my arms, running it over the irritated cuts a couple of times. It stung and hurt, but I didn't show it as I just watched the boy fix me up. Something that no one has ever done before, not even Diego when he was glued to my side for 3 years. But even through this nice gesture, I felt angry. Angry for him leaving me, angry for him not coming back. Why did he just come back now if he knew everything? A small growl left my throat and I tried to close my palm, only for Five to stop me and straighten my hand back out.

"You're angry, so talk to me about it. Don't try to push it down. Why are you mad?"

I glared up at Five, his green eyes staring right back into my own. "Why didn't you come back?" Fives eyes drifted back down to focus on wrapping up my hand "I couldn't." a huff in aggravation passed my lips. "What do you mean 'you couldn't'?" Once he finished wrapping it, he shoved the hand back towards me "Because I couldn't go back in time. I could only go forwards." Grabbing the other one he slowly rolled up my sleeve, his brows furrowed, teeth grit in anger as he looked over each and every cut and scar.

"You must've used your own hands. Didn't you?"

I stayed quiet my eyes drifting down towards the cuts and scars that littered my arm "Because I know that you can't heal from yourself, if these were normal knife wounds they wouldn't be here. So it was your own claws wasn't it?" I didn't want to answer him, but even if I did it wouldn't matter, because he already knew the answer anyway. Five's hand tightened around my arm for a quick second, only for him to let out a small breath, calming himself down before running a wet cotton ball over the wounds.

A burning sensation ran through my arm and hand like it did for the other, but I paid no mind to it. Different questions and thoughts flew through my head as he silently cleaned my wounds. After a minute or so I finally decided to ask the one question that's been on my mind. "You said you know a lot of things..." his eyes glanced up into my own, only to let out a small scoff as if I somehow insulted him. Throwing the now dirty cotton ball away "Yes, I do. What about it?" his green hues drifted back down to focus on wrapping up my hand.

"I just..."

I paused, debating wether or not I even wanted to ask the question. Not wanting him to know what I did years ago, but then again, I had a gut feeling that he already knew about it. "Well? Spit it out." My eyes stayed trained on Five, watching as he wrapped the gauze around my hand in his own caring manner. "What else do you know?" he stopped his actions to look up at me. I continued to clarify myself "About me, I mean." His forest green eyes held an emotion I couldn't quite place, lips twitching down, but quickly moving back to their original spot, keeping same stoic expression he always seemed to wear.

Five's brows furrowed, putting the pieces together behind my question, as to what I was really asking. "You want to know if I know about your attempted suicide." I swallowed the lump in my throat just what I thought. Of course Five knows. My eyes darted off to the side, confirming his statement to be true. I felt embarrassed, and ashamed. I was hoping that he wouldn't know, but I had a strong suspicion that he did. Five continued to wrap up my hand, my eyes stayed glued to my hands, not really knowing what to say.

A small sigh escaped the dark haired boy "(y/n), look at me." I didn't want to look him in the eyes. I couldn't. Because I'm not the same girl he once knew, I'm not the strong independent girl who never ran from a fight. No. I'm constantly terrified of when I might loose control next, always living in fear and never able to hold so much as a glimpse of a smile. I have to much death on my shoulders, and it seems to be following me everywhere I go.

Once Five finished wrapping up my hand he grabbed my chin and was quick to turn my head to face him "Look at me." His lip twitched down a little, his face holding a look that seemed to be remorseful "You're here with me now, which shows just how strong you can be. And proves that there is some hope still left in you." I stared at the 16 year old boy in front of me, watching his face go back to the same look it always has while his eyes continue to hold the same sorrowful emotion.

"So please don't stop trying, because I don't know what I'd do without you again."

I didn't know how to respond so I just sat there in silence, mouth held slightly agape. Rattling my brain for some kind of answer to his statement. Letting go of my chin, Five turned around and started making his way towards the door when my mouth finally caught up to me. "Five." Stopping in the doorway Five turned his body slightly to show that he was listening, but kept it so I only saw the back of his head. I continued "I won't stop trying. So don't worry." Five didn't give a response, standing there for a second or two before continuing to march out the doorway.

"Hurry up and get dressed. Meet me back downstairs when you're done."

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☂️ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

~18 years ago~

A fluttering noise, followed by a flash of blue was quick to wake me. Sitting up in my bed, my eyes caught sight of the person who disturbed my peaceful slumber. "Five?" I questioned, squinting my eyes as I rubbed them to wake myself up further. "What are you doing here?" The dark haired boy shushed me a little before walking over to the side of my bed. "Come with me." His hand stuck out towards me to take, the light from the windows casting a glow onto the side of his face.

I noticed he was already all dressed in his uniform "What time is it?" Fives eyes rolled in annoyance at all the questions "it doesn't matter. Just, come with me." Now fully awake, my legs sat criss crossed under the covers "Can I at least know where we're going?" Five didn't respond, green eyes glancing down at the hand held out to me, as if begging me to grab ahold of it. I let out a small huff before moving the covers off me. "You're being real secretive this morning." A smirk graced the boys features as I stood up.

"When am I not?"

Taking his hand in my own, he pulled me closer to him, head leaning over, he whispered "Focus on me." Mouth a good distance away from my ear, knowing if he said anything to close he could hurt it from being to loud. I knew exactly what this boy was about to do, glaring at him from the corner of my eye "Five. I swear to god if you-" a chuckle escaped the dark haired boy, the fluttering noise of a spacial jump could be heard, successfully cutting me off as the two of us disappeared.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☂️ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

When we reappeared, my head was pounding in pain, ears ringing from all the loud noises that hit me at once. Five let go of my hand, only for both of my hands to be brought up to my ears. Closing my eyes I let out a small huff as the ringing in my ears slowly subsided. I felt someone grab my face in their hands, causing my eyes to shoot open. I was met with a pair of forest green ones staring back into my own, Five's lips moved but I could barely hear anything.

"Damn it Five!"

Bringing my hands away from my ears, I placed them on his chest, shoving him away from me. "I hate it when you do that!" The dark haired boy stumbled back a few feet, eyes blown wide in surprise. My hearing slowly began to clear up and focus on the boy in front of me. Quick to catch himself on his feet, he stated "I told you to focus on me." Sending Five a glare I let out an angry huff "Yeah well you didn't really give me a chance to!" He quickly jumped towards me, covering my mouth with his left hand "shh." His right hand held onto the back of my head, preventing me from moving my head away.

His eyes glanced over at the building next to us, which just so happened to be the mansion which we live in. "Do you wanna get us caught?" He angrily whispered, only for a growl to arise in the back of my throat. Opening my mouth, I bit down on the inside of his hand, causing Five to bring his hand away and let go. "Ow! Did-Did you just bite me?!" Five whisper yelled, eyes blown wide from surprise. Crossing my arms a crossed my chest, eyes narrowing at the boy in front of me. "What are you up too Five?" Looking down at the palm of his left hand "Jesus, you really bit me!" Rolling my eyes at his dramatics.

"Oh please. I didn't even break skin. If I wanted to hurt you, I would've done it by now."

Five messaged the palm of his hand with the thumb on his right hand, eyes trained on it "Well yeah. It just surprised me is all." I huffed a little starting to get annoyed "Are you going to tell me what you woke me up for now?" His eyes drifted from his hands, to the mansion-like building beside us "I forgot something inside." Green eyes landing on me, he narrowed them, a serious tone being held in his voice "Stay. Here." Looking back at the building he continued "I'll only be a second or two." I went to say something in response, only for a fluttering noise and blue flash to cut me off, letting me know that he was already spacial jumping away.

"Damn it Five." I grumbled out.

Annoyed and tired, I flopped down on the rock wall near our house. As much as the boy annoyed me, I could never stay mad at him for long. Five was quick to spacial jump back, gift bag in hand. "Couldn't find the damn thing at first." My eyes narrowed in confusion at the small bag "What's that for?" I asked, only for his arrogant smirk to grace his lips. "You'll find out soon enough." He stated, all while hiding the bag behind him. Holding a hand out for me to take, I shook my head in defiance.

"Oh no. I'm not going anywhere with you. You're just gonna spacial jump to our destination."

Letting out a small huff in annoyance, Five responded "As much as I would love to spacial jump there, I feel like taking a stroll this morning. Care to join me?" My eyes narrowed at him, not fully believing the dark hard boy. But as his eyes stared into my own, lips twitching up into a small uncharacteristic nervous smile. Closing my eyes, I let out a small sigh as a smile over took my lips, opening my (e/c) eyes meeting a pair of green ones. "Don't look at me like that." Taking his outstretched hand in my own, he quickly pulled me up, bringing me close in front of him.

"Like what?"

An almost genuine smile now sat on his lips, eyes shining with happiness. Our faces were inches apart as I stated "Like that, like you're actually happy." One of his brows lifted in a questioning way, all while that happy look stayed glued to his face. "Am I not aloud to be happy?" My eyes widened a little, of course he can be happy! I thought it's just different seeing it on him of all people. I quickly sputtered out exactly what I was thinking "of course you can, it's just... I never thought I would see that look on you." Fives eyes danced around my face, I couldn't tell if he was ignoring my statement, or didn't know what to say. His eyes finally landed back on my own after a small gap of silence.

Fives smile quickly faded into his normal stoic look "come on" turning around he started dragging me off "let's go." I fast walked to catch up to him, the two of us walking side by side. "Do I at least get to know where we are going?" Five's infamous smirk appeared on his face as he looked over at me.

"Not a chance."

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☂️ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

I wasn't to surprised when the destination turned out to be a park we would always hangout in, after getting some food from Griddy's. Considering that it's 3 in the morning (I got the information out of Five) and Griddy's is currently closed, this is the next best thing. Whenever we came here we'd always sit underneath this giant maple tree at the top of the only hill in the entire park. It was nice and peaceful, it gave the two of us a break from everything so we could just talk or even sit there quietly doing our own things. But Five never seemed to take a break, considering the fact that he'd constantly be trying to figure out the right equation for time travel.

This time was different, Five seemed carefree his morning, like the only thing on his mind was here and now. He didn't have some kind of math problem going on in the back of his head and he wasn't angry about some argument with our father. Once we made it to the tree, the two of us sat down at the bottom and stared out at the rest of the park. "It's so peaceful out here." I stated, Five hummed in agreement before saying "Yeah, it is very beautiful as well." I let out a small huff in disbelief, looking over to him "You can't even see anything, it's to dark." To my surprise, he was already looking at me with a look that I couldn't quite place.

Shifting his view to the park, he cleared his throat before defending his statement "The streetlights in the park, it shows some of it, so it does have its own beauty at night." I nodded my head in agreement, while staring out at the park "I guess you're right." Five chuckled, sending a glance my way, smirk gracing his lips "And when am I wrong?" The dark haired boy smugly stated. Rolling my eyes, I bumped my shoulder into his own "Shut up." I stated playfully, causing him to let out another chuckle as a smile appeared on my face.

I started to feel the warm rays of the sun on my face as the park lit up around us. Looking over to my left, I noticed the sun slowly rising over the horizon. Hearing the noise of a bag crinkling, I glanced back over at Five, only to see the bag in his hands along with a small nervous smile on his face. "Happy birthday (Y/n)" my eyes widened a little, watching as the sun lit up his face, causing his hair to shine, showing just how brown it is. Fives forest green eyes could be seen clear as day holding an emotion I couldn't quite place, one that I've been seeing a lot more on the spacial jumpers face.

"Our birthday isn't till tomorrow."

"I wanted to get a head start and give you your gift now."

I should've known that it was that, Five always loved to be one step ahead, even if it was by a day or so. The dark brown haired boy pushed the gift more towards me encouraging me to take it. I slowly took ahold of the gift bag, curiously taking a peak inside "What is it?" A chuckle passed Fives lips at my question "Why don't you open it and find out?" Looking up at Five, his infamous smirk sitting on his face as a smile graced my lips. Opening the bag, my eyes landed on the light blue Polaroid camera, my smile broadened at the sight of it. Pulling the camera out of the bag Five explained "I always see you looking at it through the window of the camera shop we pass by, so I figured that-" I cut him off, eyes glued to the camera in my hands.

"Is there any film in it?"

I struggled to try to open it as Five gave a quick answer "Well yeah, I put eight in there so you can use it right when you get it." Turning the camera on I gave a quick response "Perfect." As I lifted the camera up to face us, throwing an arm around Five, all while he looked down at me, a confused look on his face. A joyous smile crossed my lips as I snapped the picture, bringing it back down to my lap a small Polaroid printed out of the slit at the base of the camera. "I wasn't ready. Let's take another one." Taking the picture from the camera, I shook it a little while teasing the boy next to me.

"Aww, is Mr.Grumpy pants mad that he didn't look good in the picture?"

Five rolled his eyes at me, taking the camera from off my lap "Hey!" I exclaimed, all while he grumbled out an annoyed response "Shut up and look at the camera." Five threw an arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to him as the two of us looked at the camera, a gentle smile sat on his face, all while a broad smile appeared on my own. The dark haired boy was quick to snap the picture, the Polaroid popping out soon after. Five took the Polaroid before handing the camera back to me "This one's mine to keep." Taking the camera out of his hands, I watched as he stared at the picture, patiently waiting for it to develop.

A small smile appeared on his lips, eyes shining with the same glow it's held all morning. Looking back out at the horizon, I noticed the sun rising higher and getting a bit brighter. "We should get going, before dad realizes we're gone." Glancing back at Five to see his response, he had his eyes glued to the currently developing picture. "Five." Snapping his eyes up to me, narrowed in almost an annoyed look, seeming to be aggravated that I distracted him from the picture. Five's eyes softened after a minute, and slowly stood up, lending a hand out for me to take.

"Come on."

Putting the camera back in the bag, I grabbed ahold of his hand. Pulling me up, a small smirk graced his lips, only for my eyes to narrow.

"Five don't you da-"

And with that the two of us special jumped back to the academy

Prev // Next

[anony-mouse-writer]

options if you or a loved one are feeling particularly pressed about the strike doubling down

- go watch some of those movies you keep promising your friends you’ll ‘get to one day’

- go watch some foreign media. british media’s in english if you must, but subtitles are basically required to hear anything nowadays anyways, so go for broke. check out some shit in a language you don’t know

- or check out some shows in a target language you’re trying to learn!

- netflix has several million hours of content, im sure you can find something

- go rewatch an old favorite show it’s been a while since you’ve seen. star trek, dr who, quantum leap. there’s years of backlog

- seriously, yall are acting like it wasn’t in the last few decades that we didn’t have to wait to watch reruns at the exact time and channel when the tv service deigned to show them if ever

- if you have movies collecting dust on your shelf, now’s a good time for some rewatches!

- youtube is free! go find an independently published series! (emara:emirates hero is very good and deserves more attention)

- that said: there’s a big difference between watching an existing youtube series and encouraging creators to cross picket lines. no one deserves scab work

- seriously tho. yall we have so much content on netflix. i found a show from 15 years ago that i’d never heard of thats exactly my taste last week. just give it a look

- go yell at WB and the people hiring the workers. the solution to this problem is not ‘drive the writers and actors to starvation so they have to find new jobs anyways just to pay rent’, its ‘make the corporations to maybe pay folks for their work’

[aldoodles]

Hi! It's me again. The crazy person who was incoherently yelling about the utter serendipity of stumbling across your page.

You mentioned being curious about how I got here, so I figured the least I could do after dumping THAT in your Ask Box was explain myself: I was looking into the Mysterious Benedict Society tag several months ago, and when I saw your art I nearly started screaming because it's just SO GOOD. The colours and shapes and details and literally everything about it filled me with so much joy on the spot, and I was immediately obsessed with your art, which led to me clicking on your art tag at the speed of light.

AND THAT led me to being even more astounded by your skills and the kind of masterpieces you produce (The first thing I saw was a more ambiguous kind of landscape piece), and then having a heart attack as soon as I saw the tags and learned that NOT ONLY was it HTTYD art, BUT IT WAS THE BOOKS. I'D NEVER SEEN ANYONE DO FANART FOR THE BOOKS BEFORE. AND IT WAS SO GOOD???? LIKE IF I HAD THE MONEY I'D PAY FOR YOU TO ILLUSTRATE THE WHOLE SERIES

Cue me going completely insane and then finding out you did stuff for TUC??? I'd nearly forgotten those books, but your art reminded me how invested/terrified I was. Not to mention all of the other insanely fantastic work you've done for other things and how I just want to eat all of your art in the most positive way possible. It's so gorgeous. It's so Texture. It's vastly impressive and just makes my brain so excited and gets my imagination to take off. Your art is an inspiration whenever I feel stuck in life.

AND THEN. AND THEN I FOUND OUT YOU WRITE FIC. And I would have read everything in the span of a couple hours if I hadn't had to stop and sob every few seconds because YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD AUTHOR!!!!!! But also because you really understand the characters (Of the fandoms I'm in, but I'm sure you are just as talented in everything else).

And now I am a constant lurking presence on your blog, highly enjoying any and all thoughts/work you choose to share, and hoping you know how much you are appreciated. Because let me just tell you!!!! You are GREATLY appreciated at all hours of the day :)

(I'm sorry I keep leaving these long, wacky rambles in your Ask Box like a lunatic. I really wanted to tell you how amazing I think you are, but my anxiety's been being dumb so I figured this was the best way to get my message across)

This is seriously the kindest thing omg thank you so much!!

I love creating for the obscure fandoms I am invested in, so it’s really nice to hear that other people enjoy my doodles and fic :o) !!

[rainydaydally]

Here in the labyrinth (I’m trapped) Chapter 4

Warnings:

T-slur

Deadnaming

Misgendering

Gay people!😱😱

“You love me?”

Kyle asks. “Of course, Kyle. I thought it was pretty obvious. We’re both idiots, aren’t we?” Stan laughs. “I can’t believe you love me. I could’ve sworn you were straight. Even though you’re my super best friend, I must have been pretty off, huh?” Kyle smiles, feeling like his old self again. “Can you believe it? Stan *loves* me! Me! Kyle Broflovski! The same Kyle who was just outed to his entire school a few hours ago!” Kyle thinks, already feeling better, and almost forgetting about the series of events that happened earlier that day. Almost.

“Can I… can I kiss you?” Stan asks hesitantly, not wanting to make Kyle uncomfortable. Kyle answers by grabbing Stan’s jacket and pulling him closer to slowly press their lips together. “You look so cute right now.” Stan laughs a moment after they pull away from the kiss. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” Kyle jokes, looking in Stan’s eyes but then looking away.

They sit in silence for a few moments. “Sh*t…” Kyle sighs out of the blue.“What’s wrong?” Stan asks, tucking Kyle’s hair behind his ear. “I keep thinking about it, just… *so* much has happened today. I’ve been outed as gay and trans, everyone knows that I like you, and I just learned that you like me too. Just… wow. How can that all happen in one day?! And all because of Cartman! I hate his f*cking fat *ss so f*cking much right now.” Kyle seethes, not surprising Stan at all with his level of anger. Stan would probably be just as mad, because what happened today was “seriously f*cked up”, as he would put it.

“He really is an assh*le for that. Is there… anything I could do to maybe help?” Stan asks. “No, no, you’re fine. I’m sorry if I keep making a big deal out of it.” He pauses before continuing. “Actually, no I’m not. I *should* be making a big deal out of this. What Cartman did was really horrible and I deserve to be mad.” Kyle thinks, starting to ramble. “That’s the spirit, dude.” Stan jokes, moving his gaze from Kyle’s eyes to his red lips. “Shut up.” Kyle eyerolls, laying down on his bed, but still making sure there’s enough room for Stan. Stan lays down next to him, and they both stare at the white ceiling. 

“Do you want to sign Cartman up for those sh*tty websites that give you spam mail?” Stan asks out of the blue. Kyle laughs, pushing him gently. “Dude. Is that the only revenge plan you can think of?” “Pretty much.” Stan shrugs, taking his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it. Kyle watches over his shoulder as Stan puts Cartman’s email into a bunch of websites. “This is stupid.” Kyle eyerolls, grabbing his phone off his nightstand and when he unlocks it he notices the 5 missed texts from Cartman. “Hey.” “I’m not sorry about what I did. Stan deserved to know he actually had a crush on a girl.” “Lying b*tch.” “Kylie, answer.” “Whatever, tr*nny.” Kyle sighs, “Great.” He thinks, and doesn’t reply to Cartman. He knows he has read reciepts on, and leaving Cartman on read might make him more mad than responding to him with a cringe *ss comeback.

Stan ends up spending the night with Kyle. When they wake up it’s Tuesday, a school day. The night before, Kyle’s mom gave him permission to skip school for the day, because of the events that took place yesterday. Stan’s mom also did, just so he could take care of Kyle and make sure he didn’t do anything irrational, which Kyle rolled his eyes at.

Kyle wakes up to Stan holding him tight. He slowly sits up in bed and starts to scroll on TikTok. Eventually, Stan rustles around and rubs his eyes. “Hey Kyle.” He says, voice hoarse and tired. “Hi.” Kyle says, barely above a whisper. After a bit, they manage to wake up enough to get breakfast. They eat some cereal and then play video games. 

12:35 PM

“Dude! I literally won the game. I have no idea why you’re acting like you’re better!” Kyle laughs, pushing Stan playfully. “I am!” Stan eyerolls as Kyle gets up to turn off the video game console. “Do you want to go for a walk?” Kyle asks, hoping for some fresh air. Stan perks up and nods. “Yeah, of course! Whatever you need, dude.” He says, and they do. They walk to Stark’s pond, and sit down together, holding eachothers hand. “I’m so happy now. Even though Cartman outed me… I guess I wouldn’t be with you without him.” “You’re right, I guess there’s good in some bad things, huh?” Stan asks. “Exactly.”Kyle replies, placing a kiss on Stan’s cherk before laying his head on his shoulder.

They walk back to Kyle’s home a bit later, watch movies, and chill out. 

Kyle’s mom soon arrives from work, but Stan and Kyle don’t notice. They are laying in Kyle’s bed cuddling. At the worst moment possible, Stan turns toward Kyle, and kisses him. Before Kyle can process what’s happening, his mom is yelling. “Stanley Marsh! What on Earth are you doing?!” Stan quickly stops kissing Kyle, turning to the woman standing in the doorway. “M-Mrs. Broflovski! I-I can explain!” Stan quickly says. Kyle can feel his breathing getting faster and faster, his chest rising. “Okay? Then explain. You too, Kyle. I want to know EXACTLY what was happening. “W-well we were kissing.” Stan says. “And why would friends be kissing?!” “Ma, alright! We’re dating! Is that what you wanted to hear?!” Kyle screams, tears falling from his eyes. He knows he shouldn’t be screaming at his mother. “Don’t talk to me like that, Kyle! Stan, I’m calling your mother right now to tell her we’re dropping you home.” Stan jumps out of the bed. “Mrs. Broflovski, please dont tell my mom we’re dating. I’ll tell her later, I promise. Please.” He says, following her down the stairs as she goes to get her phone. 

Kyle stays in his room, stuggled into his blankets and crying out of humiliation, as Stan keeps begging Sheila not to out him. “You’re lucky I’m not one of those people who out children.” She says to him, calling his mother. 

Sharon: Sheila? Everything okay? Is Stan alright?

Sheila: Hello, Sharon. Yes, they’re both fine. I’m just wondering if I could drop Stan off at your house in about… 15 minutes?

Sharon: Oh yes, that’s fine. Thank you for dropping him off.

Sheila: No problem, heading out now. Goodbye!

Sharon: Bye!

____________

Sheila sighs, hanging up the phone call and putting it back into her purse. “Gather your stuff, Stan.” Stan nods quickly, and runs up the stairs.

“Kyle? Can I come in?” Stan asks, sniffling. “Yeah its unlocked.” Kyle says, and Stan opens the door to see Kyle wrapped up in his blankets. “Your mom is dropping me off at home. Don’t worry Kyle. You have nothing to worry about, okay?” Stan says, sitting on the edge of Kyle’s bed. Kyle just nods, sitting up and wiping the tears off Stan’s cheeks with his thumbs. “I guess you should get your things together.” Kyle says awkwardly, getting out of his bed and helping Stan pack his stuff back into his bag. “Are you almost ready?” Sheila asks from downstairs. Kyle sighs, “Yes, ma. Just getting his things together.” Soon after, Stan and Kyle practically tumble down the stairs, and to the car. Kyle goes to sit in the back with Stan, as usual, but his mom interferes by saying, “Kyle, sit up front with me.” “It’s not like we’re gonna kiss back there.” Kyle mumbles quietly, closing the backseat door and getting into the passenger seat next to his mother.

Ao3 fanfic

Wattpad fanfic

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 5

[wraenata]

Here's a question. How much of pokemon have you played? (Mainline series, side series, etc) :3

Pokemon long rambling activated :3

Seriously long post

So before my mom banned pokemon from our house (probably when I was around 7?) we loved Pokémon. We never had a video game console but my cousins did. So technically pokemon stadium is my first pokemon game! Only ever the rentals haha. But we loved playing the mini games.

When my mom banned pokemon and sold all our plushies (rip butterfree plush, I'll get you back some day) it was a pokemon drought. Until my cousin went to college and gave me her pokemon card collection. (Supposedly the halo mew is worth $100?! But I treasure them) and the brainrot infected me once again.

I started learning everything I could about game mechanics. This was when Gen 5 came out in Japan so you didn't even have the English translations yet! I made lists of what my teams would be in each game, how to divy up the HMs, how to get certain egg moves. All without playing a single game lol.

And then I found playr.org. It had all the retro game boy games. Including Pokémon Red, Blue, Yellow, Gold, Silver, and Crystal. Unfortunately the saving system wasn't so great and got corrupted a few times (rip shiny ekans) but I did mostly play Silver or Crystal. (This is where the name Wren for my character was born!)

I craved more but I didn't know how to download emulators safely :( I watched playthroughs to get by. To this day let's plays are a comfort source for me <3

By the way I did all of this without my parents ever knowing. I was very good at hiding it from them XD

I think it was finally like freshman year of college when I figured out the pokemon fan games. I'm talking Uranium, Phoenix Rising demo, Ethereal Gates demo, Solar Light Lunar Dark, Sage, aka non emulator ones. Basically any I could get my hands on. I also started drawing fakemon in my sketchbook. I kind of want to revisit those some day. I still have the sketchbook somewhere.

Then I figured out emulators FINALLY. At least enough and got an emulator and mystery dungeon explorers of sky, MY BELOVED! I have played through the rom many times. I have a randomizer. Also a few years ago I found Sky Temple for editing the rom aka different starter pokemon. The discord server is always working on making new sprites so you can be any pokemon you want its very wonderful.

Junior year of college, I said I'd had enough. I spent an entire year hyping over Sun and Moon and my bestie/roomie convinced me to treat myself, something I literally never did. I bought a 3DS and Pokemon Sun and never looked back. I loved it. My first real pokemon game. (My parents were not happy when they found out lol). I spent so many hours. I got big into breeding perfect IV pokemon (idk why cause I never did online battles) or shiny breeding. I used to work til 11 pm some nights and before bed I'd just do some breeding. I would have the pokemon in the perfect ball and have all the egg moves and perfect IVs and nature and have the perfect nick name cause I was obsessive like that oof. I got ultra moon when it came out as well and loved it. I also bought pokemon X and Omega Ruby which I enjoyed. But Sun and Ultra Moon I played many times and bred so many perfect pokemon.

I did pick up roms around this time for Heart Gold, Soul Silver, Black and White and the sequels, and maybe Platinum? But they ran really slow on my computer so I never made it far. I preferred playing on my 3ds. But I still played quite a bit of Sky rom.

I was, less excited about Sword and Shield. I saved up a whole year to buy my switch and bought Lets go Eevee, Botw, and Sword when Gen 8 came out. I did inhale the entire game of Sword in one week, but I don't think I ever finished a second playthrough. The story was really disappointing and I did not like the gen 8 pokemon as much. It's hard when you're not a big fan of any of the starter evolutions, cause pressing B for every level up is tedious :(

I did enjoy Lets Go Eevee but after I loaned it to my bestie I had troubled getting back in. The ball throwing was a little off putting.

Oh I also bought Mystery dungeon Rescue Dx and I enjoyed that quite a bit!

Last summer I was struggling a lot with my emotions and frustration with my mom and as a form of therapy started spending money oof. I wanted a second DS so I could trade back and forth and make my life easier. It took a lot of bidding on Goodwill online but I snagged a second 2ds, legit copy of pmd sky! and pmd gates to infinity. And Pokemon Soul Silver! Also I bought the digital versions of gen 1 and 2 before the eshop closed.

I also bought Shining Pearl cause it went super on sale, but after I lent it to my bestie I haven't played since. I actually dont like too many gen 4 pokemon besides Glaceon, Leafeon, and Chatot.

Playing pokemon mystery dungeon on a 3ds instead of a computer keyboard was so much more satisfying. I played through Sky and loved it of course. Then I picked up Gates to Infinity which I never knew the story. I enjoyed it! I was and Oshawott with partner Snivy.

This brings me to last late summer, and the turtle brainrot set in and grew. Less pokemon, more turtles! I debated back and forth whether to get Scarlet or Violet up til the day it released. And then I just didn't. I watched playthroughs though. Seems pretty good and I like a lot of the pokemon, especially after gen 8 when I struggled to find enough to fill out a team of 6. I only like to use pokemon I like. I'm sure I'll get it someday but for now, turtles have my brain.

And that's my pokemon origin story! Still mad about my mom selling all our pokemon plushies. I do still have my cousins pokemon cards and I treasure them <3

I am very adamant about my pokemon having the perfect nick names.

Umbreon is my favorite pokemon <3

Not surprisingly this got very very long. If you made it this far, have a Leppa Berry <3

[explanationpoint]

i miss the joy of asks and thought maybe you did too- so what’s your current favorite piece of media? what’s a hobby that you could talk about for hours? how are you doing personally?

I wish I could give a good answer on my current favorite piece of media. Maybe adventure time? Possibly Trick ‘r Treat (2007)? I showed it to some friends and they loved it, which was awesome. Embarrassingly, I keep finding myself listening to the new Drake album. That man is a train wreck and it is hard to look away. the music is pretty here and there frankly but I laughed a lot.

I have a few hobbies, and I could talk about all of them. But I write rap songs and whenever people like to listen, I’ll tell them stories about rappers and artists from the past. Did you know MC Hammer had shooters? Like you really really did not wanna diss MC Hammer in the 90s. A lot of rappers didn’t like him because they thought he was too poppy (and he is) but they sure didn’t wanna say his name. and hip hop and further, music is just full of outrageous stories or interesting artistic things to talk about and I could do it forever. But I’m also in a media-related class again, learning more about photos and filmmaking and I could easily talk about all that for just as long. Sometimes I feel like I talk too much, I’m trying to listen more.

And wowww I have been up and down. I moved home. I didn’t really want to move home. I broke up. I’m not sure I would have broken up if I didn’t have to move home. But I think the breaking up was for the best, even though it’s been difficult with being *that kind* of alone after four years of being in love (like the “I am seriously trying to spend the rest of my life with this person” kind of love). it’s a pretty big adjustment. i’ve had a series of weird, intense, totally unrequited crushes. my feelings are super intense. it might have something to do with my body going through a second puberty lol. despite all that i intend on taking things slowly if i get involved with anyone. i know that i can’t rely on a relationship to save me or make my life make sense. i have to do better for myself. and i have sort of, and some things are really better and less stressful. my parents aren’t exactly okay with me being trans (love you mom!) but they aren’t kicking me out or flushing my meds. Which is great! But it gets pretty hard sometimes.

I’m loving school. It’s an easy avenue to make new friends (i’ve got a few now, if you can believe it), and this is the first time I’ve been studying something artsy and I’m finding it very satisfying. I feel like I’m learning a lot, mostly about how to manifest my ideas, and I guess it’s making me more confident that I’m capable of making things that are like, good. it’s sort of always been a struggle to believe I deserved good things or that I could do good things. a lot of people in my adult life have tried to tell me that I was capable and could make my way in the world with my creativity/art stuff. and i guess burning out as hard as i have (i am unemployed and have a masters degree. it isn’t in art stuff. or stuff that easily makes money. i’m kind of a dummy) but it’s sort of given me a second chance. the school I’m at right now is very cheap compared to what i did before and i feel like i’m getting a lot more out of it. i know way more about photography and photoshop than I did a month or two ago and it’s nice to have another way to express and let the ideas flow.

i hope i don’t sound too conceited about my stuff, because well. i’m actually super critical about all of it. and myself. and every mistake i’ve made in my life and how i got here etc etc etc. But there’s no point in just rolling around in my self-loathing. I have to keep moving, finally be a person. Nobody is coming to make it easier. I have to do better. And I can’t pretend to be something I’m not, in more ways than one. none of its easy but all of it’s living, and it’s what I need to do. because trust me, i’ve considered the other options. if that’s not too dark. at least i have some excuses for the arrested development. and thank you for asking. i also miss the joy of asks! it’s lovely to think that someone is out there looking at my little rants and thinking about me and my life. i’m sorry if my prose is a little robotic. sometimes my words just flow off the top and sometimes i gotta break them out of the firmament. but really, thank you

[iloveabunchofgames]

#JakeReviewsItch

Animal Lover

by Trainwreck Studios

Price (US): $9.99

Included In: Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality

Genre: Visual Novel

Pitch: A Frog Prince story. Lots of kissing. Lots of cute boys.

My expectations: The Itch page boasts, ">150,000 words!" which sounds more like a threat to me. There's no way I'm reading all of that in time for a review. Another choice quote from the description: "No furries! Don't let the title fool you!" If you're concerned people are going to be misled by the title, maybe dig into your >150,000 words for a different title, rather than hoping they'll click on the game and look for clarification.

Review:

Lucy is a veterinary intern.She still has more to learn, but she knows that the pets her clinic treats might carry diseases. She knows there’s a strict policy against kissing the patients. When she was younger, she loved to kiss her pet hamster. Muscle memory is a powerful force, so who could blame poor Lucy for getting swept up in the moment and laying one on the irresistible Hamchop?

Lucy’s magical kiss reverts Hamchop to his true form, a naked, hunky, anime prince named Edmund. He doesn’t know why he turned into a hamster centuries ago, but he knows he’s not alone. He once saw a cat who was certainly more than a cat.

Thus begins Lucy’s quest to kiss more animals and collect more anime hunks. It’s stupid, but it’s a stupid story told well.

The hunks aren’t the most fleshed-out characters in all of literature, but there’s more to them than I expected, and I love how they play off one another. Political debates between an early-’80s anarchist and an old-world monarch? Hot tub truth-or-dare that leads to everyone correcting each other over gender roles and attitudes toward “reefer?”

Don’t judge Animal Lover by its fluffy appearance.

+ Every character is unique, layered, and likeable. + The ensemble works well together. Their relationships with each other are all natural and nuanced. + The overarching mystery isn't takes a backseat to character moments, while still being taken seriously. I always wanted to know what would happen next. + Pacing could be tighter, but considering how few poses these men have, and how much time they spend in a small set of static environments, I thought I'd quickly get sick of looking at this game. There are just enough character entrances and exits, scene changes, insert shots, and musical cues to stave off boredom.

– Five men is a lot of men. I love them all, but even the game acknowledges that no one should be responsible for that many people. – When Lucy's introduced, she tells us that her defining character trait is that she hates lying. When she meets the hamster prince, she immediately hides him and then lies to her boss. It's non-stop secrets and lies with Lucy. Each time she confesses the truth, people surprise her by being totally cool, but she continues to lie at every opportunity, and for what? Cheap, stupid drama? No, thanks. – I was, on average, 45 minutes ahead of every twist in the story. – I played through the first nine chapters, which took about three hours. I then rapidly clicked and speed read up to chapter 15 (another 45 minutes). I don't know if I'm anywhere near the end. It would benefit from being a bit leaner.

🧡🧡🧡🤍🤍

Bottom Line: While I don't find much allure in the promise of shirtless cartoons, the rapport between this cast of dorks hooked me, and their ridiculous story kept me engaged for hours—though I admit, I hit my limit before reaching the conclusion. As traditional, linear visual novels go, this might be the best I've reviewed, but it still left me feeling like my time would have been better spent reading a book or watching a movie. If you think you'll like it, you're probably right.

#JakeReviewsItch is a series of daily game reviews. You can learn more here. You can also browse past reviews...

• By name • By rating • By genre

[dollycas]

Cozy Wednesday featuring Come Shell or High Water (A Haunted Shell Shop Mystery) by Molly MacRae #Review / #Giveaway @MysteryMacRae

Welcome to Cozy Wednesday! I  am delighted to share my thoughts about Come Shell or High Water (A Haunted Shell Shop Mystery) by Molly MacRae today! Come Shell or High Water (A Haunted Shell Shop Mystery) Cozy Mystery/Ghost Mystery 1st in Series Setting - North Carolina - Ocracoke Island Publisher ‏ : ‎ Kensington Cozies (June 25, 2024) Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 304 pages ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1496744276 ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1496744272 Kindle ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0CK5DMFDR Audiobook ASIN B0D687LHJ4 Audio CD ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8874679422 From Molly MacRae, acclaimed author of the Highland Bookshop Mysteries, the first in a charming new series set on a beautiful barrier island off the coast of North Carolina and featuring a widowed folklorist, a seashell shop, and the ghost of an 18th-century pirate… As a professional storyteller, Maureen Nash can’t help but see the narrative cues woven through her life. Like the series of letters addressed to her late husband from a stranger—the proprietor of The Moon Shell, a shop on Ocracoke Island, off the coast of North Carolina. The store is famous with shell collectors, but it’s the cryptic letters from Allen Withrow, the shop’s owner, that convince Maureen to travel to the small coastal town in the middle of hurricane season. At the very least, she expects she’ll get a good story out of the experience, never anticipating it could end up a murder mystery . . . In Maureen’s first hours on the storm-lashed island, she averts several life-threatening accidents, stumbles over the body of a controversial Ocracoke local, and meets the ghost of an eighteenth-century Welsh pirate, Emrys Lloyd. To the untrained eye, all these unusual occurrences would seem to be random misfortunes, but Maureen senses there may be something connecting these stories. With Emrys’s supernatural assistance and the support of a few new friends, Maureen sets out to unravel the truth, find a killer, and hopefully give this tale a satisfying ending . . . while also rewriting her own. Dollycas's Thoughts In this first Haunted Shell Shop Mystery, former biologist and professional storyteller Maureen Nash has come to Ocracoke Island, off the coast of North Carolina, to learn why a man from there sent her late husband a bunch of letters. She had traveled to the island with him and their family several times years ago but has no clue why anyone from the island would be contacting him now. Hurricane season is not the best time to travel to the island. Hurricane Electra had just passed through the area, but she needed answers. If nothing else she may get a story to tell about her mysterious adventure. Her arrival goes seriously awry when she finds herself on the floor semi-conscious hearing two people discussing her and her car. The word "DEAD" comes out of her mouth more forcefully than intended and she remembers where she was before ending up on the floor. Maureen had stumbled over a dead body and she thinks she remembers where. Being the newcomer on the island she is Deputy Brown's prime suspect but she is still confused by the other voice she keeps hearing, which she will come to find out is the ghost of Emrys Lloyd, an eighteenth-century Welsh pirate. A ghost who knew the deceased very well. Can her new friends help her find a killer and get the local police off her back? or will her story come to a violent end? _____ Maureen Nash loves seashells of every variety so Ocracoke Island would have been wonderful without the dead body. She is trying to figure out how to live life without her husband by her side. She has two grown sons, Kelly and O'Connor. They are both worried about their mom now that she is a murder suspect and stay in constant touch with her. She does her best to reassure them. Maureen meets Burt and Gladys Weaver when they find her in The Moon Shell unconscious sans her shoes and socks. The elderly siblings are a hoot and quickly attach themselves to Maureen. She is not totally honest with them but they really don't let her get a word in edgewise. She heard another voice as she was waking up and soon realizes it is a ghost that only she can see and hear. They form a unique friendship. Ms. MacRae's characters easily drew me into this story. Maureen has rented a cute compact house on the island. "Like a jigsaw puzzle all the basics and a few extras" fit together in the place. The "mousehole" is perfect for one person. The author's descriptions made it very easy to visualize. She aptly described The Moon Shell shop too from its porch to the office to the shelves and other nooks and crannies. The island is like a typical small town where the gossip flies but I do believe there are more quirky characters than typically found in most small towns. Ms. MacRae has written a very entertaining and interesting mystery that stretched my imagination in places. It is filled with a plethora of twists, turns, secrets, lies, and misdirection.  The showdown was crazy good with a very unexpected character coming through in the end. A lot happens within these pages and I didn't have the guilty party pegged until they were revealed. With an appealing mature protagonist, some curious supporting characters, a unique setting, and an intriguing mystery laced with plenty of humor Come Shell or High Water is an enjoyable lighthearted cozy ghost mystery. I am interested to see what Ms. MacRae has planned for these characters next. I voluntarily reviewed an Advance Reader Copy. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review. Thank you to the Kensington Cozies and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC. Your Escape Into A Good Book Travel Agent   About the Author Molly MacRae writes the Highland Bookshop Mysteries, about four women who reinvent their lives when they buy a bookshop in Inversgail on the west coast of Scotland, and the award-winning Haunted Yarn Shop Mysteries, about a textile preservation specialist in Blue Plum, Tennessee, who ends up with a depressed ghost on her hands. Molly spent twenty years in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains in northeast Tennessee, where she managed the Book Place, an independent bookstore; may it rest in peace. Before the lure of books hooked her, she was the curator of the history museum in Jonesborough, Tennessee's oldest town. Her short stories have appeared in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine for more than twenty years, and she won the Sherwood Anderson Award for Short Fiction. Molly lives with her family in Champaign, Illinois, where she connects children with books at the public library. Find more information about Mollie and her books on her website here. Also written by Molly MacRae Highland Bookshop Mysteries Haunted Yarn Shop Mysteries This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase using my links, I will receive a small commission from the sale at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting Escape With Dollycas. Thanks to the publisher I have 1 Paperback Advance Review Copy of Come Shell or High Water to give away! The contest is open to anyone over 18 years old with a US or Canadian mailing address. Duplicate entries will be deleted. Void where prohibited. You do not have to be a follower to enter but I hope you will find something you like here and become a follower. Followers Will Receive 2 Bonus Entries For Each Way They Follow. Plus 2 Bonus Entries For Following My Facebook Fan Page. Add this book to your WANT TO READ shelf on GoodReads for 3 Bonus Entries. Follow Kensington Books on Twitter for 2 Bonus Entries! Follow Kensington Publishing on Facebook for 2 Bonus Entries! Pin this giveaway to Pinterest for 3 Bonus Entries. If you share the giveaway on Threads, X, or Facebook or anywhere you will receive 5 Bonus Entries For Each Link. The  Contest Will End July 17, 2024, at 11:59 PM CST The Winner Will Be Chosen Using Random.org The Winner Will Be Notified By Email and Will Be Posted Here In The Sidebar. Click Here For Entry Form Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Receiving a complimentary copy in no way reflected my review of this book. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” “As an Amazon Associate, I earn a commission from qualifying purchases.” Read the full article

[bangtanfancamp]

Oh Christmas Tree | KNJ

∴ summary: you’re looking for a fresh start and a Christmas tree when you unintentionally stumble across the worlds most attractive dimples and the sweet, gigantic, bumbling man attached to them

Alt: Namjoon + a Christmas tree farm + his best friend’s girlfriend’s little sister = the best Yuletide he never saw coming

∴ masterlist

∴ part of the breakfast with bangtan series

∴ pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader, guest appearances by cultivating a life with you Hoseok x his y/n

∴word count: 10.8k

∴ rating: mature, 18+

∴genre: fluff, strangers to lovers. slice of life, Christmas romance

∴warnings: flirting, woke adjacent Christmas tree banter? sexual tension, joon is a big man (we all know this), a few subtle pov shifts- but only at already marked breaks in the story beats (should be easy to follow. Hopefully), subtle daddy kink, joonie has big boobies and he likes boobies, what was meant to be really soft smut that got a little out of hand honestly

∴author’s note: This started as a little scribble in March of 2021 that only involved the scene of y/n and Namjoon bantering about Christmas trees. I’ve been neck deep in 30k+ monster fic drafts for months and I just wanted to write something quick & fluffy so here we are. This y/n is the sister Hoseok’s girlfriend visits in cultivating a life with you. The stories are totally independent of each other but technically- chronologically- this takes place two winters later. Not meant to be hallmark movie related. I honestly just love the idea of Namjoon in one of his tiny little beanies getting tongue tied in the snow while surrounded by Christmas trees. Enjoy! Please let me know if you like it, if you like :) also… this is not proofread yet. I stayed up all night writing this and didn’t sleep. So I’m gonna leave this here, crash, and come back later to edit and add my copious italics, as I do.

───────────────────────

“My gosh, are these Christmas trees in outer space?”

You’d spent the last hour and a half being squashed in the backseat of your sister’s Mini Cooper. Your knees were beginning to ache.

“Oh don’t be a grinch, silly. We’re almost there,” your sister twisted to smile back at you from her spot in the passenger seat.

Her pink mittened hand was happily resting on her boyfriend Hoseok’s slim thigh. He reached down to tap out the rhythm to “walking in a winter wonderland” across the back of her knuckles as she beamed back at you, and you felt a little bit of your irritation melt away. It was nice to see her so happy. They were sweet to each other. It was lovely for them, but it wouldn’t help straighten out the kink in your back.

Who takes a coupe to pick up a live Christmas tree?

Hoseok caught your eye in the rear view mirror and smiled in apology as you shifted. He was as nice as your sister, just as keen to accommodate, and as soft for her as you were, if not more. His car was in the shop and yours hadn’t arrived yet. You’d driven a u-haul here from three states away a week and a half ago, settling down to take root during a holiday season best celebrated in an established home like the smart planner you were (not).

But for once, you didn’t care. Or at least, you were learning not to.

You’d spent too much of your life stuck in places you didn’t even want to be, taking life too seriously. Spent too many of the last few years feeling stagnant and like you were running out of time all at once. So when the opportunity arose, you took the first chance you got to move here. To be closer to your sister, to be somewhere where the air felt lighter, where you could be whoever you wanted to be.

And today, you wanted to be the owner of a live Christmas tree.

Give yourself something to smile at in your studio that currently consisted of bare stucco walls and aesthetic cardboard box piles.

When you’d mentioned it over the phone, your sister had known just the place.

“It’s the cutest little Christmas tree farm! Me and hobi get our tree there every year! They even have a hot cocoa stand up front for you to sip on while you pick your tree out. It’s owned by the sweetest family. One of our friends works there too. Oh you have to meet him!”

Your sister had gushed it all in one breath.

“Have to?”

“Absolutely. Not even a question. Get dressed! Me and hobi’ll pick you up in 10!”

That was that. You’d bundled up to the best of your ability, (Your wardrobe was not prepared for how chilly the winters got up here) and twenty minutes later, your sister and a blushing Hoseok were waiting for you in the parking lot in their jolly little holiday mobile.

Your sister had added reindeer antlers and a red nose to her Mini Cooper and jingle bells to the door handles. There was a set of white vinyl stickers with the silhouette of Santa’s sleigh and all nine reindeer plastered on the back window and a sprig of mistletoe-that she’d probably grown herself- twirling from the rear view mirror. Somehow she’d even gotten the horn to match the melody of “we wish you a merry Christmas.”

You’d have to ask how later.

The ride ended up being cozy enough. Now you were just eager to get out and get the feeling back in your toes. Hoseok tipped the driver's side seat forward for you to crawl out from the back. The second the icy wind slapped against your cheek you wondered why you thought going out in the cold would bring any sort of circulation back to your toes. You rolled your eyes at yourself and chuckled when you caught sight of the purplish tinge along Hoseok’s throat peeking out just over the edge of his chunky crocheted scarf. (Your sister probably made it for him. And now he was using it to hide her hickies. The little hoe.)

He felt your stare and blushed, his wide animated eyes becoming sheepish as he yanked his scarf up just the littlest bit higher.

So that was why that ten minute pickup time had stretched into twenty.

Good for the both of you.

Soon, the three of you were wandering through the farm. There was a section of freshly cut trees ready to take home near the front but rows and rows of trees still rooted to the ground off into the horizon, all dusted with this week’s newest burst of powdery snow. It was a magical thing to see really.

Your sister was happily tucked into Hoseok’s lithe side, one arm looped through his, the other hand cradling a hot cup of cocoa with a candy cane poking out of the lid. Nothing if not festive. You’d opted to save your cup for later. You liked the brisk air, and you liked both your hands being deeply plunged in the warmth of your fleece lined pockets.

“Cell reception is shit up here.” Hoseok piped up. “I tried to text Namjoon to see if he was working today but all I got back was the green text bubble of death.”

“Boo, Joonie’s the worst at charging his phone too. It’s probably dead,” your sister giggled.

“Guess I’m never gonna meet your jolly green giant, Hobes,” you bumped his elbow with yours.

“With the brain of archibald asparagus,” your sister added.

“Sexy brain, that man has,” Hoseok sighed with envy.

“Your brain is sexy too, babe.” Your sister tipped up on her toes to kiss Hoseok’s wind-chapped cheek.

“Not as sexy as his,” Hoseok nodded resolutely.

“Oh, what about when he wears his little wire rimmed professor glasses?”

“Too hot. He’d melt the snow,” Hoseok swooned.

“Goodness, are you in love with my sister or him?” You teased.

“Both,” Hoseok admitted, a little too sincerely, clutching at his heart over his oversized parka.

“I don’t blame him,” your sister nodded sagely. You quirked a brow at her and she simply shrugged, all innocence, zero guilt. “What? Don’t look at me like that. Trust me, it’ll make sense when you see him.”

“If I ever see him. I’m pretty sure he’s a myth.” Your skepticism came out with a snort and an opaque puff of air.

Geeze, it’s cold.

────────────────────────

At some point in the wandering, you got distracted watching a small child drag their parent by the wrist to the tree of their dreams. The scene was so wholesome and sweet. The little girl squealed with delight as a pair of squirrels skittered past them in chase, twining their way up her tree and darting down and away, ruffling soft powdery snow loose from the tree’s needles in their wake like a fairy sprinkling pixie dust.

The whole interaction was so idyllic that you’d stopped paying attention to where you were going and plowed directly into the broad back of what you were sure must be a bear. What else could it be? No man’s back was that broad, that’s for sure.

The force of it knocked you flat back on your bum, leaving you dazed in a little pile of crunchy snow and loose pine needles.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”

The words came too fast, too rushed, and at sure as hell too deep of an octave to come from anyone you knew, man or bear included.

There was a massive olive green, gloved hand shoved in your face- apparently attached to whoever was apologizing so profusely. You grabbed on and let it hoist you up. Goddamn, whoever this was was strong. After flying backward just a few seconds ago, you were now flying forward, toppling directly into what seemed to be just as equally broad a chest as the back you had crashed into moments ago.

“Are you alright? I can’t believe I did that. Are you o-“

The rambling ocean wave of a voice stopped crashing over you the second you looked up and locked eyes with what you were sure was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen in person.

“Holy shit,” you muttered under your breath.

The man’s full lips seemed to gape as he looked at you.

Not necessarily in an objectionable way. It was more like, the tape in his brain had spun off the track and tangled itself up like an old cassette that needed help being wound back up again. It was like his thoughts were written all over his face. If you knew him better, you could have read them like a novel. For now, you knew one thing.

He was pretty when he was thinking.

Hell, he was pretty, period.

And two, he was solid as an ox.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Mr Yun’s gonna kill me if you’re hurt. I should have been paying more attention.” He patted down the sides of your ribs and torso like he was half expecting a bone to be jutting out.

“I’m okay. I’m good. i-“ am still holding his pecs, you realized.

What a Christmas miracle they were. Geeze. He had better boobs than you. You swallowed once then smiled up at him. “Do you, by any chance, work here?”

He blinked at you. There was snow on his eyelashes. His tiny dark green beanie wasn’t doing any good at shielding his face from the snow, but god did the color look good next to his golden skin.

“Um, yes, actually. I do. Again, I’m so sorry that I-“

“Shush, enough of that. You’re going to help me pick my tree.”

“I am?”

It was his turn to swallow.

“I mean, yes. Of course I am. Can. What are you looking for?”

He was nervous. So visibly nervous. You weren’t sure if it was because of you or if it was just his general disposition. Either way, you were hopelessly endeared by it. Pretty, bumbly, abominable snowman of a man. With great tits.

“Well, I came here in a Mini Cooper, so… whatever will fit on top of that, I guess.”

He blinked again, before he smiled- wide and gracious. His eyes crinkled at the edges and Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

His dimples.

How obscene.

“Sounds like a great place to start, to me.” He laughed for the first time. It was so boisterous and rich, you were sure he’d cause an avalanche.

The sound was as deep as winter, but soothing and warm. You already wanted to hear it again.

Oh boy. You really liked this one.

────────────────────────

“So what technically constitutes ‘ethically sourced’ when it comes to Christmas trees?” You looked wide-eyed up at Namjoon.

“Um… you know I… well, usually I-I would know the answer to that.”

“But right now, you don’t?”

“I mean, I can’t say that I do.” He shrugged ruefully.

“Despite currently being employed on a Christmas tree lot?” You arched a brow at him, a wry smile pulling at your lips.

“That does seem to be the case, yes.” His brows pinched at his own glum response.

“Are you new?” Mirth glittered in your eyes as you watched him.

“No, actually, I’ve been helping Mr. Yun since college… senior year of high school technically, actually.” Namjoon looked a bit lost in space as he wracked his brain for his qualifications.

“So you should have seniority around here?”

“Sort of ? It’s just , you know, mr. yun is a friend of my parents and he’s always been good to me so I always try to return the favor and help out every year, if I can.” He swallowed.

He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. He literally talked to people for a living. He could sell a polar bear ice, for Pete’s sake. But every time he made eye contact with you, he was practically on the verge of forgetting his own name so this whole witty repartee thing was an absolute struggle in ways it absolutely should not be.

“Well, he’s very lucky to have you then. Even if you can’t tell me where this tree came from.” You chuckled.

“No, I that- that I can do. All our Douglas firs come from grey farms about two hours north of here. Again, super kind family. They’ve been doing this for generations, actually.”

He found himself affectionately gripping the top of the tree while you smiled up at him like you had a secret and he felt a new rush of sweat rise beneath the fold of his beanie.

“So locally sourced then.”

“Family owned.” He nodded.

“Well now, that’s a great start. You know more than you let on.”

You tapped an index finger into the down of his puffy coat and he felt himself flush, wishing he could have actually felt that touch against his skin. The color in his cheeks only deepened further at the thought, aware of how absurd it was to want that kind of skin contact from a woman he’d barely met ten minutes ago, knowing even deeper down still that the absurdity of it didn’t make it any less true.

He didn’t have any idea what to do with that.

Every part of him felt like he was back in middle school right now. It had been ages since something this simple was this difficult for him. Trying to figure out how not to trip over his words while maintaining eye contact with the you and your luminous smile really wasn’t working…. at all. He should have been better at this by now, he sighed. His thirteen year old self would be so disappointed to see just how little progress he’d made in the smoothly interacting with pretty girls department in a decade and a half.

“So, should I choose to re-home this lovely tree, do you know of anyone who could, say, strap it to the roof of my car for me?”

Your eyes were twinkling, face framed by the softly falling snow flurries that had started up again and Namjoon felt himself swallow.

“I- I would be happy to find-“

“There you are! Finally found you- Oh, hey bro! So you are working today!” A voice bright like tangy sweet lemonade interrupted Namjoon’s inelegant struggle.

“Hoseok?” Namjoon looked mystified at the pair of you as Hoseok clasped a mittened hand around your shoulder. “How do you two-“

“This is my girl’s sister, y/n, remember? I told you we were helping her move in last week.” He explained with a happy shrug.

“This is… you’re… wow. Hey. Nice to officially meet you.” Namjoon released the tree to dizzily shake your hand, trying his best to ignore your amusement at his manic behavior.

“So you’re the mysterious friend who was too busy to help with the u-haul unloading, huh?” You quirked a brow up at Namjoon. He looked a bit green around the gills as his snow frosted lashes fell away from your gaze.

“We were slammed here that day. If it makes you feel any better, I got so much pine sap all over me that I had to toss my favorite gloves away.”

“Tsk. Now why would that make me feel better?” You teased as something mischievous glinted in your eyes.

“Because my shitty friend status made me suffer?” Namjoon shrugged.

“Well, we weren’t friends yet,” you grinned. “But now that we are, I think it’s only right that you should come over when you’re off to help the three of us decorate my new locally sourced, freshly cut Christmas tree”

“Oh absolutely!“ Hoseok piped in. “You haven’t hung out in weeks- you have to come.”

His endearing smile beamed bright across his face in a way that was impossible to fight. Bright red bits of hair peaked out beneath his beanie as he grinned widely up at Namjoon, and Namjoon was too distracted by his openness to process his nerves at the invitation.

“I mean, I guess I… I mean I wouldn’t want to intrude on…”

“Nonsense,” Hoseok interrupted,” you’d only be making the party better! Y/n needs all the friends she can get anyway. Poor thing’s stuck hanging out with us all the time- she could use a few new faces in the rotation, right little sis?” He hip checked you, ruffling your hair with the hand slung over your shoulder.

“Not your little sis yet,” you countered, eyes full of challenge.

“Wait, Hobi, this Christmas are you gonna…” Namjoon twisted his left hand, the gesture caught vaguely somewhere between the Queens wave and the single ladies dance.

Hoseok pulled a nervous face, brows lifting and jaw tightening until his smile bared all his teeth, as he patted the chest of his puffer coat.

“I’ve been carrying it around for weeks actually. Can’t seem to find the right time.”

“Are you insane?” You swatted him. “You brought it with you here? What if you lose it in the snow, you dummy?!”

“Ow!” Hoseok rubbed his shoulder dramatically. “The little ones are always fighters.”

You rolled your eyes as Namjoon blushed for reasons beyond him. Maybe he didn’t need any more explanation than the fact that you were cute as hell and he liked seeing you laugh.

“Your sister would never hit me like that,” Hoseok huffed.

“Yeah, she doesn’t have to because she knows I’d do it for her. Now why on gods green earth is the ring just chilling in your pocket while you stroll through endless yards of nature??”

“I keep it with me in case there’s a moment that just feels right. I’ll already be ready, you know.”

Hoseok’s face was far away, dreamy.

Namjoon was happy for him, even if he wanted a little piece of his friend’s wonder for himself one day.

“I still think you should propose to her at home in your little jungle. You have to know how happy that would make her,” you asserted.

Namjoon thought back to his last visit to Hoseok’s apartment. The walls had almost been alive with the amount of trailing vines climbing toward the ceiling. It was otherworldly, serene, like an indoor garden. It would be a spectacular place to propose actually.

“I think she’s right. It would be pretty damn perfect, Hob.” Namjoon offered.

“Ooo, did you hear that?” Slipping out from under Hoseok’s slinky arm, you attached yourself to Namjoon’s bulky one. “He already knows I’m always right. The company you keep, Hobi. I like this one.”

You squeezed Namjoon’s bicep, and he swore he could feel the warmth of your touch through his puffer jacket. He knew his cheeks had to match Hoseok’s fire engine hair now.

“Hey, be sweet to him. He’s sensitive,” Hoseok tutted as he pinched Namjoon’s rosy face despite being swatted away by one Namjoon’s big hands.

“I… is this the tree you’re settled on y/n? If it is, I should start getting it wrapped for you.”

“Hoist it on the beige Mini Cooper in the back, eh Hulk?” Hoseok patted his unoccupied bicep, giving it a happy squeeze as he pushed past Namjoon. “Im off to find where my poison Ivy wandered off to again. Probably somewhere talking to the cedars.” He shook his head softly but gosh, there was nothing but fondness in his happily crinkled eyes. “You two don’t get up to anything too wild while I’m gone now, yeah? We haven’t even brought out the baileys and the eggnog yet. Save it for later - or I’ll be the one kissing Joonie under the mistletoe.”

Hoseok wiggled his fingers and brows in puppety unison as he vanished through the trees, leaving Namjoon alone with you once again.

“He’s quite the character isn’t he?” You chuckled.

“You have no idea.”

“He’s good to my sister though. I’ve never seen her so happy.”

“They’re pretty made for each other,” Namjoon nodded in assent as you sighed.

It wasn’t until he looked down to catch your expression that he realized you were still holding onto his arm. Jesus Christ of Nazareth, was he going to faint in a Christmas tree lot?

You looked up then, a soft giggle bubbling out of you when you saw whatever his distress was doing to his face, and squeezed his arm before walking a few snowy paces ahead.

“Come on, tiger. The quicker we take care of this, the quicker we can get out of the cold.”

Namjoon had never followed anyone faster in his life.

────────────────────────

Why had the three of you come in a compact car?

This was pure delusion.

The tree Namjoon had helped you pick loomed over the front windshield like something from whoville. Good thing you weren’t the one driving. Good luck with that visibility, Hobi.

You and your sister stood side by side, linked at the elbow while the two men tied the tree down to the roof of the car.

“Think we’ll tip over in a strong breeze?” You queried.

“I think we’ll tip over if anyone even looks at us funny,” your sister giggled.

Her laughter was contagious and soon you were both cackling uncontrollably as Hoseok and Namjoon secured your dr Seuss tree to the roof of her car. Namjoon looked back over his shoulder, making accidental eye contact with you. You let your gaze rove over his absurdly pretty face, eyes lingering around the high corners of his cheekbones and the doughy imprints of those audaciously sweet dimples of his.

“My god, just look at him,” you sighed. “It’s like heaven tried to make focaccia bread when they made his face and decided to stop two pokes in because it was already perfect.”

Your sister looked between you and Namjoon, chuckling when the giant of a man turned away bashfully, as if those big shoulders could make him disappear.

“I told you he was pretty,” she shrugged. “And you gave me your judgy eyebrows.”

“I was a fool,” you sighed again. “In my defense, I didn’t know there could be boys prettier than Hobi around here.”

“Wait til you meet the children. Jimin and Jungkook are so beyond anything you could even comprehend. Beautiful little whores.”

“There’s more?” Your brows shot up high.

“Oh and Taehyung! Taehyung will charm you right out of your coat. He’s the dangerous one. I can’t even make eye contact with him without stammering,” she shook her head in derision.

“Whew boy, what a winter we’re in for.” You rocked up on your toes with a whistle.

“Winter is a mercy. Seokjin’s shoulders in summer? Glory be.”

Lovingly, you squeezed her tighter into your side. “At least we have Yoongi on our side.”

“Oh, no ma’am, we do not. He’s the worst one!”

“Min Yoongi ?” You gasped. “No!”

“Yes! He’ll sneak right up on you out of nowhere just when you think you’re finally friends and keep your glass full of wine all night until you accidentally spill all your most embarrassing high school secrets,” she muttered.

“No,…not the pyramid.”

“Yes, the pyramid. And he’ll get it on tape too. Adorable little bastard. Don’t let that cute little gummy smile fool you. He’s ruthless.”

You don’t think you’ve ever heard your big sister curse before.

The pout on her face was too priceless not to laugh at so you did. The laughter was robust and full- it came straight from somewhere deep in your belly and pretty soon she was laughing too, hiding her face in the faux fur collar of your coat. The two of you clinging to each other as you cackled like wild children in the snow.

────────────────────────

Hoseok looked over the roof at the two of you and melted into an inordinately affectionate grin.

“You could just go ask her now and put yourself out of your misery, you know,” Namjoon chuckled to himself.

“Nah, she’s so happy right now. I’ll let them have their moment.”

Namjoon let himself study you.

The two of you looked so much alike yet so different. Your sister was all spun sugar and sweetness, quick as a dragonfly on the breeze. But you, well, he didn’t quite know how to put it into words. You were still sweet, but it was different. There was something more rich, a bit more solid about your aura. If your sister was candy floss, then his best guess - based on his limited interaction with you- was that you were salted caramel.

The thought had him pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He wanted to know what else made up the pieces of you. He wanted to get off this shift so he could be in the same room as you. So he could be alone with you.

He wanted to get you under the mistletoe and taste those pretty lips of yours.

But of course, that meant he had to have a coherent conversation with you first.

“Hey, quit undressing my baby sister with your eyes,” Hoseok snapped.

Namjoon shook his head, rattled the stars out of his eyes.

“My bad. Sorry, man.”

“I’ll let it slide this time,” Hoseok huffed. “Hey, I think I’m getting good at this protective big brother thing. That was pretty convincing right ?” He beamed proudly.

“More than you know… hey, we should be good here.”

Namjoon patted the now secure tree, rustling a bit of soft snow loose from its branches.

“Then it’s time to get this baby back on the road!”

Hoseok slapped the chassis and the car jingled— jingled!

“I can’t believe you’re gonna marry a Christmas elf,” Namjoon snickered.

“Hey, you’re one to talk, Yukon Cornelius. You work at a damn tree farm. Don’t judge me. Besides, I’m sure you’ll be next. Y/n is just as bad as her sister.”

Namjoon stole another glance your way, his eyes darting away in a flash when he realized you were already watching him, something sultry glittering in your gaze that he tucked away in his pockets to think about later.

“Maybe being next wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” he smiled to himself.

────────────────────────

Before you could get off the tree lot, Namjoon was running back to the car, something small in his hands that you couldn’t make out.

You were crammed in the back seat between the extra boughs your sister had bought to turn into wreaths and garlands. All the evergreen scents made you feel like a new car air freshener. God. It was gonna be a long ride back to the city.

Namjoon knocked on the glass in a hurry, and you rolled the window down. What on earth was he-

“You never got your cocoa.”

“What?”

“You said you were gonna wait to nurse it on the ride home so I got… I got you cocoa.” His volume trailed as he handed the cup to you, like he was second guessing every action in his life that had brought him to this moment.

“Oh, I…” you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t trust yourself not to open your mouth and accidentally tell him you were already in love with him and did he know a guy who could get you both a marriage license by sundown.

“Kim Namjoon. You absolute sweetheart,” your sister gushed from the front seat.

Namjoon’s cheeks went from rosy from the cold to plum from embarrassment. You’d never wanted to kiss someone’s eyelashes before.

“Well, that’s all. I gotta get back. i-“

“Thank you,” you whispered, eyes flicking up from beneath your lashes to meet his.

“I…. Yeah. I.. I hope you like it.” His smile was wide, inebriated, giddy. You swore you could see the stars during the daylight.

“I’m sure I will. Six o clock. Tonight. You can come right?”

He nodded, bobbleheaded and boysish.

“Yeah. I’ll grab the address from Hobi.”

“Oh will you now?” Hoseok piped up from the front.

“Hobi, shut up or I will end you,” you threatened through your own teeth as he and your sister laughed at you.

“Tonight?” You called to Namjoon as Hoseok began to shift the car into gear.

“Tonight!” Namjoon shouted back, both his arms waving over head as the car pulled off and he shrank into something small in the distance.

Settling back in your seat, you brought the cup to your lips and breathed in the steamy liquid. You noticed a little black heart drawn in sharpie on the cup, remembered seeing a sharpie tucked behind one of Namjoon’s ears and smiled to yourself like you’d just been passed a note in eighth grade.

You looked up to see two sets of eyes watching you in the rear view.

“Oh god, eyes on the road mom and dad. This has nothing to do with you.”

Your sister giggled, “well I for one am very happy for both of you.”

Hoseok chimed in with a “right? They’re cute.”

God. What a pair of menaces.

You sank in your seat but couldn’t help but smile.

“He is cute, isn’t he?” You whispered into your cocoa cup.

Maybe this wouldn’t be such a long ride home after all.

────────────────────────

“Why did I let you make me think this was a good idea? I don’t even have any furniture! What, we’re gonna make that Goliath sit on boxes for a chair?”

You were frazzled. Namjoon had texted Hobi that he’d be at your place in half an hour. Suddenly the idea of that massive man being in your tiny apartment drinking eggnog out of a solo cup that you’re sure would look like a shot glass in his massive hands made no sense at all.

“First of all, this was your idea,” Hoseok chuckled,” so don’t pin this on me.”

“Traitor.” You whispered.

“But if it makes you nervous, I can shout out the boys to swing by.”

“What? How does that make any sense? Why would we add more people I have no place for? Come on now, use the brain in that pretty head, Hobi.” You rapped your knuckles against his temple as he laughed at you- laughed!

“ I am! It’ll make it feel less like a date. Less pressure to talk one on one there’s a little more of a crowd,” he shrugged like it was that easy. Maybe it was.

“Okay. Fine. Do it. But somebody’s gonna have to bring food cuz there’s nothing in that fridge but eggs and kombucha.”

“God, we need to feed you, little one.” Hobi frowned, concerned.

“Groceries are on tomorrow's to do list. I wasn’t expecting to feed a small army today. I was just gonna grab some take out once you and the missus went home.”

“And you still can. I’ll see if JK can snag something from work.”

A key jingled in the lock as your sister shimmied her way in the door, arms filled with Christmas decorations with a string of gold tinsel draped across her throat like a feather boa.

“I’m back! Hobi, baby, I texted you. Can you bring the other bin up?”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and darted out the door.

“Holy mackerel, it’s gonna look like Santa’s workshop exploded in here.” You took in the sheer amount of tinsel, lights and decor your sister had managed to manhandle up the stairs.

“Oh stop you. They’re just extra decorations and props from the photography studio. I figured you can use what you like, and we’ll just put them back when the season’s over.” She shrugged.

“I’ll take free decorations that I don’t have to store any day.” You asserted with a grin. Peeling the sticky back off a command strip, you climbed up on a chair to hang the dang thing as close to the ceiling as you could reach. Your sister came behind you to spot you. No sense letting you break your neck before the guest of honor even got here.

“Most of our mini sessions are over anyway. Nobody should be trying to book their Christmas card photos after December 14th, and if they do, they deserve the Charlie Brown Christmas tree they get.”

It always tickled you when your sister tried to be matter of fact. You knew good and well she was too accommodating not to at least try to bend.

“Lay down the law, sis. Hey, hand me those string lights will you. Can you plug them in?”

The room burst into light in a cacophony of colors.

“Whew. Multi. Bold.”

“Sorry, I didn’t check if they were colorful or warm white first. Shoot.”

She looked so chagrined. It was so sweet. Here she was being so giving and thoughtful, and she really thought you were gonna have the nerve to be picky.

“Shush, you. They’ll look great. It’s kind of… cozy. Very vintage Christmas. Nostalgia chic,” you smiled, and she smiled with you, relieved.

“Hey, you don’t need to be nervous about Joonie.”

“I don’t?” You looked up at your sister through your lashes.

“He’s really a sweetheart.”

“I mean, I can tell that from space.” You smiled.

“Don’t be smart, you know what I mean, dummy.”

“Wait, which one am I ? Smart or dumb?” You laughed.

“Goofy. But I mean it. He’s such a good guy. His last relationship didn’t go so well,” the color of your sister’s voice changed then. “It was a long time ago. It was. I’m sure he hardly thinks about it anymore. It’s just, I think we’re all rooting for him to find someone who realizes just how lovely he is.”

Hobi chose just then to come clunking through the front door.

“Look who I found!”

Sure enough, all six foot something of Namjoon was right behind him, bashfully twisting a Santa hat between his nervous hands despite still wearing his little green beanie from the tree farm on his head.

Thirty minutes, my ass, you grumbled internally. But out loud you said : “Hey! You made it!”

He looked so big in your doorframe like that. Were his shoulders going to fit? Surely he was going to get stuck like Santa in a chimney flue.

“Looks like you guys got the tree up no problem.” He offered gently.

“Me and Hobi accessed our inner lumberjacks and got it done.” You flexed one bicep and Hoseok patted it like it was made of steel. You both giggled like the weirdos you were as Namjoon smiled softly, still hulking in your doorway like a vampire in need of an invite to cross the threshold.

“Come inside, you silly boy,” your sister tutted. “You’ve let half the winter in.” She tugged Namjoon’s sleeve as he ducked his head to come inside. God, you wanted to climb him like a tree.

He looked so nervous shucking his snow-caked boots off by your front door. It made you want to put him at ease.

“I can take your coat, and… whichever piece of headwear you’d prefer not to wear,” you eyed his double hat situation for the second time as he seemed to notice it for the first.

“Oh shoot. Am I still?” He snatched at his scalp and realized it was shrouded in green yarn. Pulling the beanie off, he inadvertently gave you a glimpse of his face framed by his thick head of tousled ebony hat hair. You weren’t sure if you wanted to climb up to fix it for him or pull him into your room and make it worse. “Can I use your bathroom?” He blurted.

“Mmm hmm. Down the hall, to the right.”

He thanked you, banking around you and the corner to hide in the bathroom.

As the door clicked shut, you locked eyes with your sister across the room. Even you felt how desperate you looked. She had the gall to laugh at you.

Traitor.

────────────────────────

Maybe this was going to be alright after all.

Sure enough, each of Hoseok’s boys rolled in, each one prettier than the last. The apartment had never been so blessed.

Jungkook brought two massive trays of food from chick fil a with enough side sauces to last until the apocalypse. What a fascinating juxtaposition he was. Wide eyes, innocent pink lips puckered unsurely around a little silver hoop and the dimensions of a Mack truck. How someone with that much ink curling across his skin was allowed to serve the lord’s chicken, you did not know, but you did know that god himself must have had a hand in sculpting his perky little peach of an ass. Glory.

Jimin and his obscenely pretty face brought champagne. Taehyung and his intense eyebrows brought vintage Christmas vinyls and a record player that looked like an old leather suitcase that he’d carried up the stairs on his hip like a briefcase. As soon as he’d gotten settled he’d put on Bing Crosby’s rendition of “white Christmas” and waltzed with Jimin around your kitchen island.

Seokjin brought the good food. Yoongi brought the good liquor. Your sister and Hoseok brought the laughter and joy.

It was a perfect way to spend a December night.

Somewhere during the course of the night, seokjin - who was wearing a Christmas sweater with an embroidered cat on it that he referred to as The Second Coming of Min Yoongi- decided to make an old fashioned popcorn garland for your tree. As he and Yoongi squabbled over how to properly thread a needle, you realized it had been ages since you’d seen Namjoon.

When he’d emerged from the bathroom earlier, his soft skin had been glistening as if he’d splashed water on his face. His hair looked to have been slicked back with wet hands, while one stubborn piece jutted forward to softly frame his brows. You’d gulped down your drink and avoided eye contact, knowing good and well your face was probably screaming “for the love of god, please marry me” every time you looked at him.

In your self-preservation, you feared it may have come across as plain avoidance. You needed to find him.

He’d driven all this way.

The tree farm was so far and he’d been working in the cold all day. Yet somehow he was here in your tiny home, without a single complaint.

Earlier in the night, you’d nearly tipped off your chair ladder trying to put the star on your tree and he’d caught you, scooping you up bridal style like it was as natural for him as breathing air. It was an unnecessary gesture. You really hadn’t been that far off the ground and the show of strength was absolutely welcome but embarrassing nonetheless. You’d been cradled in his chest again and god, it had taken everything in you to fight the instinct to bury your face between his pecs.

“Stop objectifying my sweet baby. You’ll taint him.” Hoseok had teased from across the room.

You’d shot him a death glare as a glum Namjoon had placed you gently on the ground.

“Sorry. Hope I didn’t make that awkward. I just… you were falling and…”

“It’s alright, Joon. Thank you.” Your smile was earnest. You watched the way his reaction played across his face like a movie. It made you want to kiss him. “Besides, I should’ve put the tallest man on the job in the first place.”

His dimples had reappeared then, and you’d felt the oxygen in the room go thin.

You’d been avoiding him ever since.

Pressing up off your IKEA futon and stepping around the push up - off a shirtless Jungkook was currently doing as Jimin sat cross legged on his back and Taehyung counted, you set off to find Namjoon.

In less than six hundred square feet, there weren’t many places he could go. Everyone else was in the kitchen/living room. That really only left the open bathroom, the balcony- which your sister and Hoseok were currently cuddled up on, watching the snow fall- and your bedroom.

You weren’t sure what you’d expected to find when you pushed open the door, but somehow Namjoon folded up on the floor studying the lower tier of your bookshelf actually made loads of sense. You hadn’t been aware someone that large could fold themselves into something so small. His long fingers trailed over the spines of your favorite books and something in your lower belly swirled.

You could have spent the rest of the night just watching him read.

That, however, even in your own home, might be kinda creepy so you decided to announce your presence instead.

“Howdy stranger,” you crooned, leaning shoulder first into the door jamb.

Namjoon startled, clutching his chest like you’d just given him a heart attack. His long limbs flailed, knocking into the bookshelf like the baby moose he was, sending a small picture frame careening down onto his head. It knocked his Santa hat off kilter, leaving the beautiful man looking like a bamboozled disaster.

Your laughter filled the room as he collected himself, straightening his hat and placing your frame back on the shelf. You came to sit beside him, hugging your knee and leaning one shoulder into his.

“Whatcha doing? Whatcha reading, more importantly?” You shot him a pointed look paired with a smile you hoped was disarming.

“Oh. Uh, nothing yet. I didn’t mean to pry. I just… well there was so much going on in the living room. I just wanted to get some air so I stepped in here, but I ended up getting lost in your book collection.”

His fingers trailed their spines again, and you felt a shiver down yours.

“You like to read?”

It was a pitiful question on your part really. Clearly he did. He was surrounded by your personal mini library, and it was the most comfortable you’d seen him be all day.

“Oh it’s the best thing, really. You can learn so much about a person by looking at the things they like to read.”

“And what have you learned about me?”

You felt yourself hold your breath as he looked down, dimples daring to show themselves again now that the two of you were in a private place.

“Well, it seems like you appreciate the classics, for one.”

His finger traced the curve of letters embossed in gold on an ivory spine.

“I went through an intense thrift shopping phase over the last few years. I got kind of obsessive about collecting beautiful books,” you confessed.

“You should come to my store sometime then. You’d love the first editions section.”

There was a pride glittering in beautiful dark brown eyes, the first swell of something like confidence showing in them.

“You work at a bookstore too?” You tilted your head to the side in question as his trademark sheepishness returned.

“Um, own. Co-own, really. Between me, Seokjin and Yoongi.”

“Stop- seriously?” You felt yourself press into his space without meaning to. The sharp, earthy smells of cedar and pine still swirled on him, but underneath that was soft clean soap. You found yourself wanting to press your nose into his throat. You realized too late that your eyes had been doing it for you, and Namjoon had caught you doing it.

Cleaning his throat, something in him seemed to grow bold.

He didn’t shy away anymore. He pressed up off the palms he’d been leaning back on and leaned into your space like you did into his. His thumb pulled your bottom lip out of your teeth, tracing along the edge of it softly.

“Seriously.”He whispered, the timber of his voice deep as winter.

His deep set gaze grew heavy as the moment lingered. You caught sight of his tongue flicking out to wet his full lips as his thumb traced yours and suddenly you felt all your grace leave you all at once.

“You should stay.”

It came out breathy, soft. You knew your face must have given away how molten you felt beneath his touch. He chuckled gently, eyes warm as he smirked. Only half a dimple this time, you noticed.

“Stay?” He arched a brow your way.

“When the others leave… you should stay.”

It was crazy, but the lightheaded part of you that was under his spell couldn’t think of anything else she wanted more.

Suddenly, he was soft again. Eyes no longer serpentine but wide. Kind.

“Is that… would you… like that?”

You smiled at him, sweet as strawberries, and then you were kissing him.

Just once. Slow, gentle, but deep.

There was a hint of cinnamon on his lips. Hobi had picked up some horchata at his favorite taqueria on the way back. He must have given some to Joon. You smiled against his mouth, licked into it once. Felt his chest vibrate with the groan it created.

When you pulled back, he was dazed, staring at you like you were made of stars. Eyeing you like he wanted to know what else you were made of. His lip bitten like he was too hungry to wait.

“Stay.” You breathed again.

“I’ll stay.” He whispered back.

────────────────────────

When the last person had left the apartment, you’d locked the door behind them.

Suddenly it was truly just you and him.

You’d turned, back to your front door and looked at him, eyes sultry, smile sweet.

Namjoon was across the room, too busy drinking you in to remember how to move. But you hadn’t forgotten, it seemed. You took your time crossing the small room. The vivid lights cast bursts of blue and red across your skin- it made your eyes look unearthly, tempting in a way Namjoon was incapable of fighting.

You stopped in front of him, palms pressed to his chest. He felt his eyelids grow heavy at the sensation, but he wouldn’t let his eyes close. Not yet. He didn’t want to miss a moment of you.

You slid your hands up his chest, alongside his throat, skimming his jaw and cupping his face. You stood between his legs and god, did he want to rock his hips against you. You were already leaning into him, your hips pressed into his pelvis. What were his corduroys gonna do? He knew you could feel him already swelling against you.

Your brushed soft thumbs across the angles of his face. He reciprocated by tenderly pushing your hair out of your face. Was your heart racing like his?

Slipping his hands down, he tugged the buckle of your belt forward into him with a thunk. He crept his thumbs beneath the sweater you’d tucked into your high black jeans, and let his fingers swirl against your stomach, smoothing over the dips at your waist. Your body was so soft. He felt himself grow warmer, swell against you harder. When your eyes clouded over and your bit your lip, he knew he was sunk.

“I’m gonna take this off now, okay ?” He whispered, tugging at your sweater as you nodded, glassy eyed and obedient, up at him. Jesus.

Why was he whispering? He didn’t know. It just felt right, he thought. Felt right like being beside you all night had felt. Felt right like he knew being inside you was gonna feel.

When he slipped the sweater up over your head, your earring got caught. A little gold hoop snagged in the knit.

Breathe, he reminded himself, go slow. You don’t have to rush.

He soon realized that was advice he was going to need to take to heart in more ways than one the second he untangled you and saw your glittering smile glowing brightly, saw the way your breasts were spilling smooth and fleshy over the confines of your lacy little balconette bra.

Jesus. Fuck.

Turns out he’d said both out loud and your glossy eyes grew hungrier the longer he looked at you.

“Do something, daddy.” You teased, voice low, gaze heady.

“Christ, y/n,” he drawled as his self-control blacked out.

Soon he was pushing your breasts together, burying his face between them. Sucking one into his warm mouth, scooping the other loose from the dark lace. He had one large hand firmly fitted just behind the buckle of your jeans as the other cupped your breast that wasn’t in his mouth, thumb diligently flicking your nipple until it grew stiff like a meringue peak. He slipped that one in his mouth then, tongue picking up pace his thumb had set and tweaking the nipple on your other breast.

You panted beneath his touch, sinking and molding into him like warm clay in his hands. He wasn’t sure when his hips had started to glide against you, but god, yours were moving too, supple and fluid like water. He needed to get you out of the rest of these clothes. He needed to find out if he could mark your breasts and neck black and purple with his mouth like he wanted to while he fucked you. You really did taste sweet, just like he thought you would. God, he wanted to take a bite out of you.

Pleasantries first though, he reminded himself.

Pushing his head back against the wall, he tried to catch his breath but your nimble fingers were working open the snaps on his corduroys instead.

“Question-“ he asked breathless.

“Answer,” you grinned, triumphant as you finally popped the latch on his pants.

“Jesus, fuck. Cripes.” His eyes fluttered shut as you ran his zipper down and reached beneath his boxer briefs to grab him.

“Which one of those was a question?” You smirked, licking your thumb before brushing it gently across the fleshy tip of him. His stomach dipped in, toned muscle crunching in on itself as your big man buckled under your touch.

“Okay, okay okay. I’m gonna have to ask this quick before you make me spontaneously finish on your tits touching me like that. Whew.” His eyes were blown, head back. Unprepared for you licking more fingers and slipping back down to gingerly play with his balls. “Oh my gooooooood. Okay. Okay. Okay. Marks?”

“Like hickies?” You asked curiously, your hand moving of its own accord to grip him firmly at the base and pull up.

“Yeah, yeah hickies,” he panted, his pretty skin growing sweaty.

“I like that.” You smiled, wide and way too pretty for him to handle right now.”it’s winter. Go crazy, big boy.”

He nodded raggedly, his brow furrowed deep as he bit his lip. He almost looked angry, he had no way of knowing it made you incredibly aroused.

“Tits. I like your…tits. A lot. So much. They’re so pretty.”

You smiled into his throat as you kissed his neck and pumped him silly.

“Joonieee, youre so sweet.” You nipped at his collarbone, giggling at shiver that ran through him.

“Would it… could I… Jesus, woman, why are you so good at that? Screw this. Fuck it. Can I cum on you, your chest at the end of this?” His eyes were direct now, serpentine and lusty as he licked his lips, ran a thumb along the swell of your breast.

“Yeah ?” You ran your tongue along his neck, sending another tremor through him.

“Yeah. You’d look so pretty with my cum on your chest. I mean, they look so pretty already, but Yeah, god yeah I want that.” he nodded.

“Okay. Promise. You can finish on my pretty titties, if you want.” You laughed.

“I want.”

“I’ll even let you fuck them if you want.”

“Christ. You said…what?” He was out of breath, lightheaded from the thought of himself being pressed between the two warm pillowy clouds on your chest.

“Uh huh, if you don’t finish inside me first, that is,” you breathed in his ear.

“Oh my god. Not fair. Get on the bed, now.” He said it with an edge, a grit you didn’t expect from your sweet nervous Christmas tree man. A bite that made you want to obey. Made you want to fuck his brains out. Made you want to be his baby girl so you followed along and played nice. He fumbled with your belt as you melted. You did what you were told and climbed back on up onto the bed, stripping the rest of the way for him along the way.

────────────────────────

As he followed, he pulled his thick wool sweater over his head, black hair falling in gorgeous eyes as he did. The full reveal of his torso left the space between your legs glossy and sticky in ways you hadn’t known it could be. His Jeans and black boxer briefs went next and then he was climbing up and over you, golden and lanky and strong and hung.

Jesus , fuck, Indeed.

He smiled at you, sourdough dimples and serpentine eyes as he slowed down.

“I’m gonna kiss you, okay?”

You nodded, obedient, nervous, eager. You wanted him. God, how did you describe how badly you wanted Kim Namjoon? His lips were plump, sweet, inexhaustibly delicious. His tongue slipped deep into your mouth, his hand firm but sweet on your hip as it climbed up your torso.

Your tits were in his mouth again, tongue flicking wildly as he moaned around your fullness and your nipple. He tweaked the other, switching back and forth as he rutted his too big dick into the meat of your thigh.

“Question,” you gasped, breathless.

“Answer, baby,” his hooded eyes were looking darkly up at you as his thumb slipped its way down to gloss smoothly over your silky clit. You cried out, and he smiled, mouth still filled with your voluptuous tit.

“Daddy?” You questioned, and the primal groan that rattled through his chest and through the sharp twitch of his dick against your leg answered any further queries you had to ask.

“Yes, please, baby. “

He slid up to suck a dark splotch into your neck, his dick sliding up and catching on the slippery ridge of your clit as he did.

“I can call you that ? Can I call you daddy?” You gasped.

He simply nodded, dropping kisses along your collarbone and throat as he lined up to finally slip inside you. The fit was snug, the drag of him along your inner walls sublime as he rocked, working you more and more open to the massive size of him. You smiled, delirious, giddy, as he fucked you like you were divine.

You came three times that night, he came twice. Once inside you and once on your pretty tits. Then one more time down your throat in the morning.

────────────────────────

“There’s not much, but I have…. Let’s see. Coffee, kombucha, seokjin’s leftover gingerbread men… oh and eggs. Can I make you eggs?” You fluttered your lashes up at him. “I’d really like to make you eggs.”

Namjoon looked so cute. Face puffy, lips full. Hair still damp from the shower he took. You’d both been too nervous to shower together, so you’d taken turns and done it separately. You thanked god you actually owned two bath towels to make it possible. He was so adorable. It made you want to cook for the man.

“Sure,” he nodded. Mercy, his voice was even deeper in the morning. He’d barely used it so far today, aside from the sexy groans that had spilled out of him this morning when you’d woken him up with your cheek resting sweetly on his inner thigh and his cock in your warm mouth. (You’d gotten consent the night before, of course.)

“Um, how do you take your coffee? And is scrambled okay? I make really good scrambled eggs.”

He smiled warmly, his gruff exterior softening with your exuberance. He nodded his assent and you got to work getting out the egg carton, your chopsticks, the milk and your lone skillet.

“Oh, wait. Your coffee, how do you take your coffee?”

You turned in your robe, a harsh pivot, just to accidentally end up nose to Namjoon’s sweatshirt covered tits with an Ooof.

He kissed your hair, a deep chuckle from the depths of his throat booming through his chest. He was wearing one of your giant college sweatshirts ( that fit just on the roomy side of just right on him) and his black boxer briefs, his substantial thighs looking gorgeous as ever as he stood barefoot in your kitchen. What a turn of events.

He slipped his sturdy arms around your waist from behind, pushing up against the underside of your boobs and buried his blushing face in your hair.

“Black. Just a little cream is good.” He murmured as you sank back against him.

You weren’t used to how soothing another person’s presence could be.

“Gotcha. I’ll grab the-“

He chuckled, pulling you tightly into him to stop your scurrying.

“Shhh. I got it. Thank you.” He pressed a kiss deep into the skin on your neck. It melted you just a little bit further into the solidity of him.

“For what?”

“Last night. This morning. Yesterday. All of it.”

His confidence dipped again. Cockiness replaced by a sincerity so disarming you felt your heart dip softly. He’s so sweet, you thought as you gently caressed the forearm he had draped over your stomach.

“Yes, well…I ….” it was then you realized you didn’t know what to say. In lieu of words, you kissed his palm.

“You’re already making us breakfast. Least I can do is grab my own coffee… you want some?” He nudged the tip of his nose against the top of your ear.

Being that close to his voice made you shiver. You nodded without realizing it. The sound of his voice made you want to be so obedient to him. Why were you so turned on by him being kind, damnit ?

His hands fitted themselves to your hips, pushing the fullness of your bottom back against his hips. You were about to tell him you take yours with sugar and more cream than coffee when your phone began to ring.

Startled, you bolted out of his arms to find… your sister trying to FaceTime you?

Kissing Namjoon’s cheek, you stepped away to answer. Queuing up the screen, you were thoroughly unprepared for brilliant, happy screams pealing through the phone. There was too much motion to make out an image at first, until finally. you caught a glimpse of sparkle. It was the ring Hoseok had shown you a picture of the day he decided to custom order it for your sister.

“Hobi proposed!!!” Your sister squealed. No regard for the neighbors, this one.

“When?”

“Last night. When we got home. Y/n it was perfect…. I could tell he seemed weird when we were on the balcony yesterday, oddly stiff. Like he was trying to tell me something, but it wasn’t making any sense. I teased him and told him to try again later. I was just being dumb- I didn’t know! but when we got home, I had gone upstairs to change out of my Christmas tree clothes and when I came back. He was on his knees in the kitchen.”

Your sister clasped a hand over her mouth as her eyes filled with happy tears. Smart boy, he’d listened to you and Namjoon.

“Y/n, I’m gonna be a wife. I'm gonna marry Hobi. Y/n, I’m so happy I could cry,” she sniffled as tears spilled over the backs of her knuckles.

“Baby, you are crying,” you teased, your own eyes growing glassy too.

“Hey, that’s MY BABY” you heard Hoseok yell from somewhere off camera.

“She was mine first,” you stuck your tongue out petulantly.

“Congrats, man!” Namjoon cheered from his spot by your coffee pot.

“Thanks bro!” Hoseok called back.

“Wait.” Your sister started….

Oh no.

“Was that…” Hoseok added.

No. No. No. no. No.

“Oh my god. Y/n, was that Namjoon?! Did he spend the night?!? Oh my gosh are you two in love now?!?

Startled you let you out something between a yelp and a shriek, dropping your phone on the carpet.

“Did you hold onto those arms of his all night?” Your sister teased.

“Wait-“ Hoseok interrupted ,” do you have a thing for Namjoon’s arms babe?”

“Everyone does,” your sister quipped.” You do too Hobi.”

“That’s not the point… eh! We’re Balenciaga buddies!” Hoseok cheered, the snap of elastic ringing through the air.

Apparently your phone fell in such a way that the camera gave them a beautiful view of Namjoon’s sleek black briefs and the tree trunks they were stretched around.

“Stop objectifying him!” You scolded Hoseok.

“I will when you do!” He taunted.

“Oh my god I can’t do this.” Pinching the bridge of your nose, you sighed as Namjoon scooped both you and your phone up from behind again

“Then I will.” He whispered in your ear. “Congratulations you guys!”

Hoseok and your sister gushed something sticky sweet about how obnoxiously in love you and Namjoon were and you couldn’t help it, you smiled too. You told your sister how happy you were for her, promising to call her later with all the juicy details before finally hanging up the phone and burying your face in Namjoon’s hard tiddy. Which he flexed for you, god bless him, before also flexing his yummy, yummy arms around you until you burst into a fit of giggles.

“I like this,” he whispered softly, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“Me too…. Got any plans today?.”

“Nope. I’m off the rest of the weekend.”

“Wanna go grocery shopping with me after I cook you eggs?”

“Are you just using me for my car?” He squinted slyly at you with a smile.

“No. That hadn’t occurred to me actually. I was actually planning on using your height and your body for my own personal benefit.” You answered thoughtfully.

“Oh.” His eyes went a bit wide like he hadn’t thought about that option. “Well. Then. Can I use you for yours?” He asked innocently.

“Sure. Although, you should know, I’m all talk. I’m the biggest softie…. I’m pretty sure if you’d asked me to marry you when we were talking tree-sourcing ethics, I would have strongly considered saying yes.”

Crap. You hadn’t planned on admitting all that. This was his fault. He was just so damn sincere. Those stupid eyes of his were so goddamn kind. You kept forgetting to put a guard up around him.

As you braced for him to be thoroughly traumatized by your admission, nothing of the sort came. He didn’t say a word. Instead, he hugged you beneath the ribs and hoisted you in a circle, nuzzling his cheek tenderly into your cheek.

“Oh thank GOD” he exhaled.

“I’m sorry- what?”

“I’ve spent all morning trying to figure out how to tell you how much I like you without making you feel like you might become the subject of the next true crime podcast.” He ran a hand through his silky hair as you stood stunned where he’d set you down to process his words.

“You….”

“Yeah…”

“That bad?”

“Honestly I’m not opposed to taking your last name if you asked me.” He shrugged.

You covered your face with both hands, shaking it ruefully despite the cosmically bright smile on your face. Soon you were both howling with laughter in each other’s arms, smiling into Namjoon’s deep eyes.

“This is crazy! We’re crazy.”

“I know.” He nodded in agreement.

“I like you.”

“I really like you.”

“I don’t know the first thing about you.”

“Let’s find out together, shall we?”

You felt your eyes fill with annoyingly happy tears. “Yeah, okay. I’d like that.”

“You just moved here right?”

“Yeah. Finally- should have done it ages ago. My turn-Why do you and Hoseok have matching designer underwear ?”

“We all do actually. It was Jimin and Seokjins doing a couple Christmases ago.”

“But just one pair each right?”

“Yeah?” Namjoon nodded, brows hunched in confusion.

“Okay. So that means you’re telling me you and Hobi just happened to be on the same daily boxer rotation the day you both fucked a pair of sisters with the same DNA?”

“Please don’t word it that way.” Namjoon grimaced.

“I worded it how it is,” you shrugged.

“My turn. Why do you really want me to go to the grocery with you, Hmm?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Besides the company? For the view when I make you stretch for everything I’ve ever needed on the top shelf, Babyyy.”

“Oh my god. Are you serious?” He couldn’t contain his laughter.

“As a heart attack.” You winked.

“C’mon. Show me how you make these super fluffy eggs I’ve heard so much about. I’m starving. The gorgeous girl who owns this apartment milked me dry three times in less than twelve hours. I’m famished.”

Goddamn him and those cheeky little dimples.

────────────────────────

[csoisoi]

i was sad a few hours ago bUT HEY MAIRUMA UPDATED

I LOVE TEACHER CHAPTERS

BLUSHENKO AND SUZY'S REACTION WAS 100% TOP TIER maime the adults who makes moves towards students, destroy them

momonoki feeling bad for camui💛

robin😭😭😭 robin😭 im heartbroken, his smile with atori is so bright i dont wanna see him sad, if we get a single panel of robin crying im going to cry

he was so happy to have a junior teacher under him too, let's hope shiida won't double cross them again,

i read this panel as her thinking which side she's on, because she's like, dedicated? and did her best to be an actual teacher during the heartbreaker exam, giving iruma's team a second try before charging in again, i feel like she'll actually be a really good teacher. but she still had some sort of emotional(?) connection to the six fingers, we dont rlly know her past and her past with the group yet so her being hesitant and lying about atori is understandable. she's on the fence, i hope we get more content on shiida💛

marbas scares me/hyp. HE WANTED STRONGER TOOLS😭 hes very morally gray and askewed, very passionate about his teaching subject and it being torture arts is absolutely very very scary i wanna see him fight seriously ngl but i do not want to be at the receiving end of it

(also i love orias' casual look , its both so cool and simple i love it)

oh? the dantalions have a security devil?? i wonder how high up in society dali's family is. we see him from the start of the series and thought of him as just a teacher, then we learned he's kalego's superior, then as of writing this he announces a majority if not all of babylus' school events and then leads the mantra(?) during that one chapter. he's obviously a high ranking demon! his smiles and cheery attitude outshines how much we dont know about him despite seeing him so many times, more teacher content please

[deaddee-anime-brownfanlady]

Alright so I've just recently finally watched the latest new animated Halloween movie special Wendell and Wild just yesterday & saw it again a few hours ago. And honestly, this new spooky stop-motion feature is such a good treat in more ways than one. Everything about this movie is just so good on many different levels, from the storytelling to the characters and their designs to also the visuals and great music, not to mention the very poient social community that's just hits so hard and wasn't afraid to go there on said subjects matter. Seriously Henry Selick as well as Peele was on a roll with this one right here.

Another thing that I love about this new animated Halloween special is that most of the characters are of color especially when it comes to the main protagonist Kat Elliot who has has such an cool design overall, with her being this wicked punk-clothes-wearing afro-texture green haired black girl who is someone you can sympathize with when comes to her grief and what she been through cause of the system, while she somewhat rough around the edges due to having to harden herself since the lose of her parents and trying to survive as a young black girl put into the system...she learns to be vulnerable again and open herself up to other people around her. The only downsides I have about this movie is that I've felt certain parts of it seems overwhelming and that I feel this movie probably could've worked a lot better as a full mini series when it comes to some of it plot points within it. While not super perfect...this movie is still such a banger and Wild ( no pun intended ) fun, emotional, meaningful, but overall good enjoyable treat for this spooky season or any season for that matter to enjoy watching.

[scamanderishredmayniac]

About Me Tag

Tag people you want to know better

Thank you for tagging me @its-vannah I was supposed to do this ages ago, got distracted and completely forgot till now. Oops!! Warning in advance, I never take quizzes too seriously so expect silly answers.

Favourite colour: Too telling!

Currently watching: Oh that’s taking multitasking too far, I mean I haven’t worked out how to type answers to quizzes and watching something at the same time. 😝 So your answer is nothing right now.

Currently reading: Well I’m reading quite a few books simultaneously, and have 3 published books on the go, and a few fan fictions on the go. So which one do you want to know about exactly? I think it’s safe to say this one’s a hard one to answer. 🙈

Currently listening to: Nothing really, apart from the sounds of the house, and every thought that pops into my head. Its late night, or early morning so not much to hear at witching hour.

Last series: Ok last series watched and haven’t finished? Or last series watched and finished?

Last movie: Fantastic Beasts The secrets Of Dumbledore. That one’s too obvious, but I love that film. ❤️

Sweet/spicy/savoury: It has to be sweet, because you know they say you are what you eat, and I’m sweet, sweet, sweet. 😂 or so I like to think anyway. 😝

Currently working on: A few Fantastic beasts fan fics, and a severus snape one, and a few Harry potter series which has gone into hiatus. Oops!!!

Tagging: @snapeysister @mythrielofsolitude @amywilliamsaccmp @brontewillow @newt-and-salamander @ruxiecat121 and anyone else who wants to play. To be honest I want to get to know everyone who interacts with me on here, but I’m afraid of tagging everyone because they might come after me with the keyboard. Lol! I’m not willing to risk virtually stepping on people’s toes if they don’t like these tag games.

Well I guess the only thing you guys are learning of me is that I am a cheeky sod and have a cheeky personality, and that tagging me and me playing these games is probably going to get you nowhere. Lol1 Listen in my defence Eddie says he values humour in his friendships, so I think you all should do the same if you’re true Eddie fans and you should just accept my humour. Lol! 😂😝

[drakenology]

𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄 - 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: smut, slight obsession, stalking?, yandere!reader, bakugo’s a fuck boy, kirishima’s his himbo roommate, mentions of drugs and alcohol use, & obsessive acts. reader is creepy and insane.

𝐀/𝐍: welcome to my first chaptered series! I really hope you guys enjoy this, seriously I have so many plans for this series. you guys may think this is pretty mild rn but remember... this is only the first chapter. feedback is welcome! please don’t be shy! 

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @quaranweeb​ & @vilbabywritess​ (wanna be tagged? reply to this post!) 

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1.8k

ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!

“Officials are looking for a woman who goes by the name of Y/N L/N as they are a prime suspect of the murder of-“

When you moved to Japan you never expected to fall for someone. No, not this hard. You remember the day you saw him last summer when you arrived, working with a tall red-head on a car in front of his house. They were on break it seemed as they passed each other a blunt to share, the blonde one leaning back against the hood as he took a drag. You saw him tilt his head up to greet a girl as she walked by, a smirk written across his lips as he waved to her.

The red-head waved to her in comradery, his smile warm and inviting. He was handsome, sure. But he couldn’t possibly compare to the blonde one. You watched from the window of your bedroom as they put out the blunt and continued their work, observing the way the blonde stranger held his wrench. His tanned skin glows under the heated sun, moaning at the sight of his sweat glistening off his building muscles. His blonde hair seemed to shine just like the sun that reflected upon it, noticing the way your heart slammed against your chest the longer you stared at him. He was beautiful. Like a breath of fresh air. Like as if just watching him through your window gave your body a pick me up. You had to know him. Had to smell him. Had to have him. You grab your keys and lock up your home, acting as if you’re just in the neighborhood and not a person who lives two doors from him that was watching him from her window. You pull down your tank top, pushing up your breasts to ensure you nab his attention as you walk by. You almost trip on your shoe laces when you hear his gruff voice up close, a feeling in your core set ablaze when you hear him call you over.

“Oi. Where you headed, sexy?” He asked, nudging his redhead buddy as if to tell him to watch and learn. You bite your lip before turning to him, putting up a front like he doesn’t make you nervous.

“Just passing by. I like walking in this weather.” You lie, feeling your forehead perspire as he turns around to grab his phone from his tool box. He strolls over to you with swagger in his steps, taking your breath away a second time as you realize he’s about to be up close and personal. Your eyes sprout visible hearts in your irises, looking up at him with a love sick gaze that causes him to smirk.

“Name’s Katsuki. What’s yours?” He asked, reaching his big hand out for you to shake. Katsuki. It was like a song when you said it aloud.

“Y/N… it’s nice to meet you.” You say, flustered; nearly dropping to the ground when he lifts your hand to kiss it. This feeling. It had to be what it felt like to be electrocuted -- like someone just took a defibrillator to your chest and made you feel alive. He hands you his phone with a smirk.

“Maybe we could get to know each other better? ‘M havin’ a party at my place. My roommate Kirishima’s still in college and he’s inviting his frat losers over for beers. It’d be nice to have a pretty girl like you to show off.” He says smoothly, the sound of his voice like a hymn to your ears.

“I’d like that..” You say, nodding, taking his phone to put in your phone number. You save your contact under your name, adding a few cute emojis before you hand him his phone.

“Oi, shitty hair! I’ve got a date to the party tonight. Catch up loser.” He says, turning to Kirishima to flip him the bird; Kirishima flipping him off back. “See you tonight? You’d better be there.” He winks, walking back over to the curb to finish fixing his car with his roommate. The redhead smiles at you and waves goodbye.

“Nice to meet you! Hope you come out tonight. Bakugo’s been slackin’ with the ladies.” He teased, Bakugo shooting him a glare as he threw a towel at his chest. You giggle, walking away with a shy wave. Looping back around the block, you arrive home; holding the hand he kissed against your face with a sigh. You didn’t wash that hand all day. It was like you could still feel his plush lips on your skin even hours after he kissed it. It was like a drug and you needed another fix.

You hear crickets chirping from the grass as you knock on his door, standing with a hot container of nachos for the party to make a good impression. The door swings open, your heart dropping when you only see Kirishima.

“Y/N! You made it! Come on in.” He chimes, taking the nachos from you and leading you inside. He leads you to Bakugo who’s playing beer pong with a few friends, not even noticing that you’re standing across the room.

“Yo, Bakugo! Our new neighbor’s here.” Kirishima beckoned, his mouth full of nachos as he turned to go to the other room with his other friends. After hearing his loud outburst and completely missing his shot because of it, he groaned and walked over to you.

“Glad you showed up. You would’ve made me look like a loser if you didn’t show up.” He teased, wrapping his arm around your waist to lead you over to the couch. The night started smoothly, drinking flowing and laughs shared as you both got to know each other.

“So you moved here a week ago. What brings you here?” He asked, sipping his beer. He doesn’t need to know the exact reason as to why you wandered here. Truth is, you’ve done some dark things in your past; things you don’t exactly regret no matter how gruesome.

“I just… love Japan.” You lie, your mind flashing to blood on your hands -- a blade clutched within your fingertips. You blink a few times when Bakugo turns away to greet a friend, trying to shake your flashback. Bakugo turns over to you, his eyes locked on your cleavage as he leans in close to you.

“Wanna go upstairs?” He asks randomly, tilting your chin up to his face and kissing your lips just about as randomly as that question. It didn’t make any sense how much control this man has over your thoughts -- over your body. Before you knew it you were upstairs in his room parting your thighs for him, feeling him deep inside your soaked cunt. It felt as if every thrust of his hips tugged at your heart strings, falling deeper in love -- yes in love.

Bakugo may just be using you for a quick fuck, but fine by you. As long as you can smell him, feel him, taste him; it didn’t matter. Or maybe it did. Maybe the sight of Bakugo with another woman would drive you mad. Maybe he was meant to be yours and he just didn’t know how much he loves you yet. You’ll show him, but for now you just claw at his back as his hips snap in harsh thrusts.

“Like that? Huh, slut?” He slurred in your ear, taking your breasts into his hands and squeezing tightly. You moan out in response, feeling your soul combine with his with every glide of his cock against your slick walls. His mean words sound like a love poem to you, relishing in his demeaning tone as he fucked your thoughts right out of your head. At this point you’re soaking, hearing your own wetness squelch when you cream around him. A knot forms in your stomach, whining when you feel him hitting your spongy spot with sloppy slaps of skin to skin.

“U-Uuhh, fuck, Y/N.” He moaned when he felt you get tighter, moving faster to get you both to the finish line of pleasure. The sound only drove you into euphoria, wanting to hear him moan your name for the rest of your life.

“‘M yours, Katsu. Anything you want. I’ll do anything to make you feel good. Anythin’ for you.” You plea, Bakugo groaning in response. It almost sounded endearing but being as you had only just met today and you’re this devoted to pleasing him is a little weird. Still, the thought of someone as hot as you at his every beck and call whenever he felt an ache in his cock sounded amazing.

“Dirty little slut. So desperate for my cock, aren’t you?” He grunts. His lips latch onto your swollen nipples, running his tongue over it to cause chills to run up and down your spine.

The knot in your stomach snaps as your mind blurs, only feeling an intense sensation of pleasure when you feel him cum in thick ropes inside you. Bakugo’s head hangs back as his hips ride out your highs, groaning as he looks at your fucked out state.

“Good, huh? Shiit.” He groaned, pulling his softening cock out of your used pussy. You whine at the loss, feeling like he just pulled out a piece of your heart with his dick. The careless and sloppy act of him wiping his cum from your thighs was the most romantic act of kindness you’d ever received, looking at him like a love sick puppy as he tossed the soiled towel into his hamper. After flopping into bed next to you, he was out like a light as he lay on his stomach. He let you stay there that night. In his room. The place he lives most of his day. A sudden rush of adrenaline surges through your body as you carefully climb out of bed, creeping around his room to look at all his stuff. You find his closet and steal a hoodie or two, moaning softly when you catch his scent still engraved in the fabric.

You fall to the floor as you inhale the faint scent of his cologne, nearly orgasming a second time that night as you writhe on the floor. Staring at the ceiling, you ponder about your potential life with Katsuki; even though you haven't even known him for 24 hours yet. What if you get pregnant from having sex with him tonight? Wouldn’t that just be wonderful? He’d be yours forever. No one could ever come between you.

You loved Katsuki, loved him. He doesn’t know he loves you yet, you thought. Having sex with him seemed to link you to him forever. This drunken hook up was destiny -- hell it was fate. You can’t wait to move in here and carry his child. You can’t wait to share the rest of your lives together raising a family once that red headed idiot moved out. What was his name again? He’s a little too close to Katsuki. Way too close. Was he trying to steal him? Trying to keep you away from him? You’ll put a stop to that. By any means necessary. Katsuki doesn’t have a choice. 

“Y/N? Why are you on the floor?”

[homoose]

Love Has a Learning Curve: Part IV (x reader)

Summary: Reader visits Spencer at the university and finds that her old insecurities aren’t as dead as she thought.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: hurt/comfort, fluff

Warnings/Includes: implied smut, jealous!reader, insecure!reader, vague mentions of previous emotional/mental abuse (Owen), mentions of cheating (Owen)

Word count: 3.2k

a/n: Owen’s really a piece of shit, huh?

Series Masterlist

———

“Could I come see you teach?”

Spencer looked up from his desk, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “It might be kind of boring. It’s a 100 level Intro to Profiling course.”

She peered over the side of the couch, closing her book. “Well, I don’t know anything about profiling, so an intro course would be right up my alley, don’t you think? And if you’re teaching it, I can guarantee it won’t be boring.”

He scrunched his nose in the way he sometimes did and clicked the cap on his pen once, twice, three times. “If you, um— if you really want to.”

She considered him for a moment before pushing herself up off the couch, coming around it to cross to his desk, perching herself on the corner. “You’ve seen me teach a bunch of times,” she said, knocking their knees together. “It’s only fair.”

He set his pen down and leaned back in his office chair, avoiding her eyes. She pulled her leg back, regretting her decision to ask. “It was just an idea. I don’t have to if you don’t want.”

As she moved to stand, he stopped her with a hand on her knee. “It’s not that. I don’t not want you to,” he clarified. He turned his chair to face her fully, peering up at her with a flush on his cheeks. “I just— I don’t know. You’re such a natural. I’m… awkward. Sometimes they just— stare at me.” 

Y/N scoffed. “I’m sure you’re not awkward.” She twirled one of the curls falling into his face around her finger, releasing it into a soft ringlet. “But seriously, if you don’t want me to come, it’s fine.”

He rolled his chair closer and ran his hands up the tops of her thighs. “I do want you to. Really.” 

He sat up straighter, craning his neck up towards her, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. She leaned down to meet his lips, and his hands wandered up to grasp at her hips. She laughed as he pulled her off the desk and practically into his lap, sliding his tongue into her mouth. She let him take it a little further, his hands traveling under her shirt and up over her back. 

When she pulled back to catch her breath, his dazed expression had her heart pounding. Any insecurity that managed to weasel its way into her psyche evaporated every time he looked at her. She ran a soft finger over the bridge of his nose. “Can you take a break?”

“Mhm,” he hummed, standing up and dragging her toward the bedroom with only a little too much enthusiasm. 

… 

“Okay, can I help you with anything?” Y/N asked, setting her bag down on the lecture podium. 

“Actually, yeah. Could you, um— write these topic notes,” he pulled out his notebook and flipped it open, “on that half of the board?”

“You got it, professor.” She accepted the notebook, turning to the board and uncapping the dry erase marker.

They worked quietly together, scrawling his notes across the white board, shoulders brushing comfortably together every so often. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him finish his side, capping the marker and stepping back to watch her. 

“This is much faster with two people. I should hire you.”

“You couldn’t afford my hourly rate,” she teased, leaning down a bit to copy the last bullet point. 

“Is there a boyfriend discount?” he asked, a soft fingertip tracing down her spine. 

She laughed as she capped the marker and set it in the tray, turning to face him and tilting her head in consideration. “Maybe we could work something out.”

He brought his hands to her hips, dug his fingers in, and pulled her closer. “Yeah?” He brushed his lips over hers and stepped forward, nearly pressing her back against the board. 

“Mmhmm,” she agreed, pressing a slow kiss to his mouth. She used her hands on his tummy to push him back a little. “But I charge double if you smudge it.”

“Fair.” He smiled and kissed her again, this time bringing his hands up to cradle her face. 

“As much as I’d love to kiss you forever,” she mumbled against his lips, “your students are going to be here any minute.”

He groaned and leaned his forehead against hers, and she laughed at his petulance. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, and then I’ll sit up in the back. You won’t even know I’m here.”

He pulled back with a sigh. “You being here is all I’m going to think about.”

She kissed his nose and stepped around him to grab her bag. “I’ll try my best not to distract you.” She made her way off the lecture platform and up the aisle, turning back to ask, “Oh, office hours are right after class?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed, leaning against the lecture podium. “1:00 to 2:00. The quad is beautiful this time of year, and there’s a coffee shop if you wanted to hang out there.”

… 

After her bathroom break, she re-entered the lecture hall as quietly as possible, slipping into the last row of seats and setting her bag down on the desk in front of her. The room was more than two thirds full, with students crammed into the first few rows and then sparsely sprinkled throughout the back half of the room. But she only had eyes for him.

She’d seen him, kissed him less than ten minutes ago, and yet here she was— blushing like a schoolgirl and resisting the urge to pull at her collar.

Even from the back row, she could see the way his suit coat stretched across his broad shoulders, the way the button at the bottom of his cardigan didn’t quite reach, the way his pants pulled taut across his thighs. She’d seen him pick the outfit out of his closet this morning, watched him put it on, even helped him with the knot of the tie. She shouldn’t realistically be this rattled by the sight of him.

But something about the way he set his shoulders back a little, the way his arm moved underneath the fabric as he scrawled an additional note across the board, the way he turned and put his hands in his pockets and waited quietly for the class to settle— felt different.

“We’ve got a lot to cover today. Let’s get started.”

She didn’t pull her collar, but she did remove her jacket— she was suddenly so, so hot, practically sweating— and draped it across the back of the chair. He caught her eye, gave her a small smile, and then launched into a lecture about the foundations of building victimology.

Just as she suspected, he was an absolute natural. Unbelievably knowledgeable of course, but also incredibly enthusiastic and positively captivating. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. 

And neither, it seemed, could the class. She scolded herself for the train of thought— of course they’re looking at him, he’s their professor. But he was right when he’d said that they... stare at him. The class was mostly young women, although the ogling seemed to cross gender lines. 

She couldn’t blame them. He answered questions with ease and gave witty responses to the devil’s advocate types. His enthusiasm was endearing and charming as hell. And, of course, he looked damn good doing it. 

With just over ten minutes left of class, she gathered her jacket and bag, standing quietly and moving into the aisle. She caught his eye as she headed for the door, slightly reassured when she saw a flash of concern in his eyes. She smiled and made a sipping gesture, and he nodded minutely and continued with his lecture. 

…

Fifteen minutes later, she was on her way back down the hallway toward his office, a coffee in each hand. When she turned the corner at 12:57, she was stunned to see that a line was already forming. 

“You gotta be kidding me,” she muttered, approaching the crowd of undergraduates. 

One particularly perky coed stood directly in front of his door, and Y/N cleared her throat. When the girl turned, she held up the coffees and gestured to the door. “I’m so sorry. I— I’m just gonna drop this off. I’ll just be one minute.”

The girl took a small step back, barely allowing Y/N to squeeze through the door left slightly ajar. It creaked slightly as she stepped through it, and Spencer’s head lifted from where he was hunched over his desk. 

“Hey!” He stood and shuffled around the side of the desk.

“Hi.” She forced a smile. “Sorry, I won’t keep you, I just— thought you might like a pick-me-up,” she said, holding out the cup to him. 

He sighed with relief. “You’re a mind reader.” He accepted the coffee cup with a grateful smile. She moved to leave, and he lightly snagged her wrist. “Hey.” He slowly pulled her back toward the desk, his eyes darting down to her mouth. 

She hummed, and he leaned forward to kiss her, moved his hand up to cup her cheek in his warm palm. He sighed into her mouth and gently tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth before pressing a quick peck to it. “Thank you.” He pressed a final kiss to her mouth with chapstick-soft lips. “I’ll see you in an hour?”

“Mhm,” she smiled again, a little more genuinely. “See you then, professor.”

She slipped back through the door, avoiding the curious eyes of the crowd. The hallway felt tight and constricting, and she was grateful for the way the fresh air hit her as she pushed through the door back out into the quad. 

She found an empty seat on a bench and set her coffee and bag down, shuffling through the latter to find her book. She flipped open to her bookmark, sure that she could finish at least two chapters during his office hour. As she attempted to read, however, her mind could not stop turning over the image of Spencer being admired by fifty young, attractive coeds. 

She read the same sentence five times before closing her book with a huff. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing, focusing on a deep inhalation and a long exhale. She carefully packed her book back into her bag, opting instead to sip her coffee and watch the bustle of the quad. 

It wasn’t that she was jealous, exactly. Jealousy wasn’t the right word. She trusted Spencer wholeheartedly. He was honest and kind, and he made it abundantly clear how much he was attracted to her.

She sighed shakily and closed her eyes against the unexpected tears that she could feel brimming just below the surface. It wasn’t jealousy. It was simply the insecurity that had always been there. Well, not always, she supposed, but long enough. Ten years. Owen had been out of her life for nearly half that time, but the mental scars he’d left her with would probably never fully heal. 

She was twenty one years old when they first started dating, and twenty six by the time he ended it. Five years of her life spent with a man who had conditioned her to believe that she had nothing to offer. Her work was insignificant. Her family was low-class. Her friends were irritating. Her laugh was obnoxious. She was immature and loud and annoying and daft. She should be grateful that he was interested in her despite these flaws. 

As if he hadn’t made all of that clear enough, he’d ended their relationship by cheating on her— not once, not twice, but consistently for nearly a year. And it seemed that almost everyone had known about it… except for her. That had been the most humiliating part; he’d had this woman in their bed, and she’d been completely unaware. She had cooked for him, attended his work events, slept beside him, subjected herself to his wrath, and never even considered that he could be with someone else.  

It took years for her to recover and rebuild. Years before she was ready to date again. It required her to construct a foundation of independence and self-love that she’d never had. And nearly five years later, she finally felt beautiful and strong and worthy. 

So why was her mind suddenly replaying every horrid thing Owen had ever said to her? Spencer was nothing like Owen. Spencer was kind, loving, and supportive. He was brilliant, talented, and accomplished. 

She pressed her lips together and swiped a hand under her eye, catching the lone tear that had managed to escape. That was exactly the problem. Spencer was all those wonderful things, and suddenly she couldn’t understand why he wanted her.

She pulled out her phone to check the time, huffing out a breath as she realized she’d spent nearly an hour dredging up old wounds. She closed her eyes and repeated her daily affirmation. I am powerful, and I am capable. I respect and honor my mind and my body. I am worthy, and I am enough. I love myself fully, just as I am. 

Now she just needed to believe it. 

She gathered her things, finishing up the last sips of her coffee before scoping out a garbage can. She tossed her empty cup in the bin on her way back to the building. As she opened the door, the blast of air conditioning cooled her sweaty skin. She stopped by the bathroom to splash her face with cool water, taking barely a moment to look at herself under the harsh fluorescent lights.

She made her way down the hallway, turning the corner to see that there were still three students in line outside Spencer’s office. She checked the time to see that it was technically five minutes past office hours. She dropped quietly into one of the two chairs across the hallway from his door. 

The other chair was occupied by a student, quite clearly waiting for Spencer, judging by the heavy sigh that accompanied his glance up at the office door. Y/N almost laughed at the way he aggressively checked his watch, tapping his foot rapidly on the floor. 

“Is it— um. Is it always like this?” She gestured to Spencer’s door. 

The tapping stopped, and the kid turned to her with another sigh. “Every. Goddamn. Time.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, I get it. I do. But, man. I’m just trying to ask about the structure of the final. This is the third week in a row that I’ve been here and I still haven’t seen him.” He checked his watch again and then ran a hand over his face. “And now I gotta get to my next class. I’m gonna have to leave early next week to camp out,” he joked.

He stood and gathered his things, and Y/N did laugh a little then. “Good luck.”

He waved and headed off down the hallway, and Y/N turned back to see a girl leaving out through Spencer’s half-open door, looking positively dreamy. She barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes as the next girl stepped through the door. 

She waited another twenty minutes for the final two students to finish their visits. When the last student made her way out the door and down the hall, Y/N stood and smoothed down the skirt of her dress. She crossed the hallway and peered into his office, knocking on the door frame.

Spencer raised his head with a panicked look, his face softening into relief when he saw it was her. “Hey. Close the door,” he begged.

Y/N stepped into his office and closed the door quietly behind her. She finally took a look around the space— fairly small but tastefully decorated. The wall across from her was one enormous bookcase, filled to capacity, of course. Light filtered in from a single window, and his mahogany desk sat on the far wall, accompanied by a wing back leather office chair. Behind his desk was a low shelf lined with a globe, some other trinkets, and a plethora of picture frames. 

“Sorry that took so long.” He ran a hand over his face. “I don’t know why my office hours are always so busy.”

She hummed, crossing to the gigantic bookshelf. “No?”

“No,” he confirmed exasperatedly. “No one else has that many students at their office hours. I asked.”

She laughed a little. “You asked?”

“Well, yeah.” He drew his brows together. “I don’t know if my syllabus is confusing, or if I’m— not clear enough in my lectures, maybe?” He dragged both hands through his hair and leaned back in his chair. “But there are always so many questions, and I mean— there are no stupid questions, but…” He sighed. “Sometimes the questions are stupid.”

She did laugh at that, full and loud. “Well, if my professors looked like Dr. Spencer Reid, I imagine I’d come up with a litany of questions, too. Stupid or otherwise.”

He was quiet, and she ran her finger along the book she was studying rather intently. She felt him moving toward her more than heard it, felt his eyes on her. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, instead pretending to peruse the titles in front of her, books full of theories that she’d never be able to understand. 

“Are you— are you jealous?” he asked incredulously. 

“No,” she defended, a little too quickly and voice a little too high.

“It’s okay if you are. Jealousy is— it’s a very normal human emotion.” He cleared his throat. “It’s, um— it’s kind of hot, actually.”

She rolled her eyes, but his confession made her feel a little bit better. He put a hand on her waist to turn her to face him, and she could feel her cheeks burning— hoped he couldn’t see it. She couldn’t quite meet his eyes, instead staring at a spot on the wall behind his head. 

“But you know you have no reason to be, right?” He cupped a gentle hand under her chin, finally brought her eyes to his. “Why would I be interested in girls when I already have a woman?”

When she didn’t say anything, he continued, “A woman who brings me coffee, and buys gifts for my fish, and helps me make PowerPoints, and goes to fancy dinners at Le Chateau LaMontagne.” 

Her lips twitched into the start of a smile, and he brought his hands down to lace their fingers together. “Who forgives me when I mess up, and lets me cry on her shoulder at 3:00am, and helps me be a better person.” 

She sniffed but tried to lighten the mood. “She sounds pretty great.”

“She is great. She’s remarkable.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I love you.”

And there was that look again. Spencer looked at her like she’d hung the moon and the stars and every single celestial body in the galaxy. Like the answer to every question was contained within her atoms. It was almost enough to have her believing it, too. Maybe someday she would.

She squeezed his hand. “I love you, too.” For now, that was enough.

———

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