#no regrets tho i love that shirt i wear it often

[clumsyclifford]

If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send this to the last 7 people in your notifs! Let’s get to know each other better! (Anon or not, it doesn’t matter)

THREE whole facts??? alright LFG

the current #1 song on my on repeat is the cure for breathing by voilà (great song everyone in the world should know it)

in 2021 i drank a grand total of 598 cups of tea

my only piece of stranger things merch is a racerback tank top that says "i dump your ass" in super colorful 80s font that i bought at an it'sugar in nyc like four years ago. after some intensive googling i have been completely unable to find any evidence that this tank top even exists much less was sold by it'sugar, but i guarantee it exists, because it is in my closet right now. it's possible i am the only person in the world who possesses this shirt

ETA: found a picture i took right after i bought the shirt so you can all see what im talking about

i realize this doesnt matter to anyone but it matters to me. a mystery that doesnt need solving but damn if etc etc

[hanjisunglover]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 - 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀

pairing: stray kids x fem!reader

genre: smut, pure smut

bang chan - soft

he would ask you first. he's really respectful with your boundaries and he would never do something that you find uncomfortable or even too much. so the thing came out with an open conversation, talking about kinks and stuff.

so you fall asleep with just his t-shirt, just to tease him a little with all of this thing, and he just get so flustered when he came back home from a really long recording section with the kids, in other occasion he would just lay next to you, sleeping and holding you in your arms. but not tonight.

he just get naked (because we knows that he normally sleep naked) and he move right behind you, he's so gentle moving the t-shirt up enough for his hands to grab your boobs gently, he start to rub his hard cock against your ass, pulling you close until your back is against his chest, "oh baby you are so soft," he murmurs with his face buries against your neck, you still sleeping without making a move. and he's loving it.

with one hand still on your boob, stroking it and squeezing it lightly until your nipples get sensitive he's other hand slide between your thighs, gently start to touch you, "mhmm you're so wet already, so beautiful." basically he would love touching you, he would start to do it more often that you could imagined.

other members under the cut!

lee minho - rough

oh boy I think he would be the one that likes it more. he def asked you, at first you would find it weird, but then you just accepted, wanting to see what he has in his mind. and he's used to use you as he wants when you guys fuck.

"so my kitten wants it?" he says chuckling as you put yourself in bed completely naked this time, you blush under his hungry gaze, you just move the sleeves and put yourself beside him, he's wearing a white sleeveless tank top, and a pair of boxers, he wasn't sure until you came to bed naked. "so impatient for me."

You basically fall asleep already wet for his teasing, he was keep saying things like, "such a good slut for asking me to touch you even when you sleep," "can't wait to have you".

you are light sleeper, everything can wake you up, and then when you wake at the middle of the night with your boyfriend between your thighs and his cock buries in your wet folds you can't hold back a loud moan. he bring his hand over your mouth, whining as you squeeze his cock with your walls, "please, the members just got back home, be good for me and take my cock without moaning slutty."

seo changbin - soft / rough

he would know that even before talking, one day he woke up seeing you touching yourself, whimpering and whining like a baby waiting for him to wake up and fuck you like a brat. but he loves you too much to refuse something.

so when you begged him to try it, he gives to you all of himself to satisfy you, I think he loves you that he would do anything that you wants. you want him to take your pussy and just thrust his dick inside it until he cum and fill you up completely? he would do it.

you want him to grab your ass and just open you wide as you sleep? he would, and he would love it. changbin in my opinion it's a big ass lover, just imagine him staring at you all day, and when you fall asleep too early he would just take off your panties, fucking your ass without regrets.

hwang Hyunjin - soft

i see hyunjin like a big 'make love' than 'fuck hard', that's the vision that I have for him. so he would be a little surprised when you started to talk about kinks, not in a bad way, he just doesn't know a lot about it. so you needed to explain that to him.

when you asked him to try, you where trying to make sure that he wasn't uncomfortable and the first time that he tried he just played with your boobs until he fell asleep with your tits in his hands.

you found it really cute tho, he tried :( he just needed a little help! so you started with him, you stayed up during the night, and you did to him the blowjob-dream. he woke up all sweaty and in ecstasy, looking over the edge for how much pleasure he felt.

from that, he start to fuck your thighs when you sleep, he's still to confused about the whole thing, but the feeling of your thighs around his cock and his hands on your waist to hold you still as you sleep, turn him on more than everything else.

Han Jisung - soft / rough

oh my man, my man would be so messy with that. he thought about it A LOT of times, like a lot. he would probably jerk off thinking about doing all of his favourite things to you as you sleep, be he's too shy to ask.

then one day when you tell him that you talked with you friends about this experience that they had he would be JUMPING AROUND of happiness, you just accept him do it.

then when you fall asleep in his arms, he doesn't loose time, he just move the sleeves from your body and open your legs, your thighs on his shoulders and your panties in front of him. as we talked before he's not gonna spend time to take your clothes off so he just move your panties aside to relieve your already soaked pussy. oh man he would be so happy, he's a pussy drunk.

I can see him in two here, deciding if he should just eat you out like an animal until you wake up from the too much pleasure of just tease you with his expert tongue, licking up and down your pussy lips, sucking lightly your clit until you get all messy wet. "don't wake up too early please, I love you so much pretty." he would basically have the time of his life.

lee felix - soft

I can't actually see Felix doing it but I'm gonna try to explain what I see with this. lix as hyunjin likes to make love, I cannot see him doing dirty things more than maybe some dirty talks.

he basically be a giant baby, in front of your naked body, with his eyes all over you, he feel a little bit ashamed for what he wants to do with you. he start to touch your thighs.

he start to massage them, slowly spread your legs and start to pass his small but really expert fingers on your folds, as he start to fingering you, you wake up.

his expression is everything, his hard cock against his stomach, his fingers inside you and his cheeks really red for get caught would make him really - really horny.

kim seungmin - rough

this man it's a fake innocent, listen to me with that. he would love you and respect you as much as he loves to destroy you until he's satisfy, or even more. even if he's bored he would.

but then, he just want to give a shot with that, he would be the one who ask, because we know how much this man can be pervert. he would die just to see you sleepy and fucked.

he wants you naked, as for minho, he wants to have you and have you there and now, he need to touch all of you. not just a single part, when he fucks you from behind as you sleep he wants to have all for him.

"such a good girl, take me so good, you're so wet right now," he whispers in your ear as you peacefully sleep, just thrusting his thick cock in your cunt, your body totally against his. he probably start to do it every week.

yang jeongin - soft / rough

I can't see Jeongin either doing it, he's not that into kinks stuff to be honest. but when he see your body with his tshirt on you and nothing else, oh boy have mercy.

he grab your waist as he lean beside you, looking at you as you fall asleep, looking so cute with your mouth lightly open, he can't wait to open you up.

he would slide and fingering you with two fingers in your folds, your clit already asking for attention that jeongin satisfy, you start to moan in your sleep. "so cute, fuck you're so tight already."

note: hey guys! I hope you liked it!! @itgirlalisaa just for you love 😋😋

[gilverrwrites]

Can you write some more Captain boomerang, fluff head cannons I loved your last one, and really would love some more 🥺🥺🥺

Abso-friggin-loutly! Fluffy/domestic HCs P2 [P1 Here]

CWs: Jealousy, guilt tripping. None graphic mentions of unrination. Rating: General

On days off from work (I use the term work, lightly) he is such a lazy git. He’s lounging on your couch in nothing but his undies and socks, both of which are ridden with holes and thoroughly stained ‘but they’re still good tho, here, have a whiff of that’ drinking beer and watching mindless action films or guilty pleasure sit-coms. 

If you join him, he will happily spend the whole day there, unmoving until one of you has to eat or pee. 

I hope you like physical touch because he will not keep his hand off you the whole time either. Playing with your hair, stroking your skin, sneakily trying to tickle you in order to force you into a more provocative position. 

He also loves to be touched in return. Likes it when you trace your fingers over his tattoos, play with his hair. Scratch his scalp and he’ll start twitching his leg like a dog when you hit just the right spot. 

Use a pen to play dot-to-dot with his freckles and he’ll get the result tattooed permanently.

Absolutely hates doing chores, and will try just about any underhanded tactic to get out of them. 

Oh sorry, love, I forgot. I know you did ‘em yesterday, and the day before that, but I swear if you do them tonight we can do that thing you like. But you’re just soooo much better at it than I am, I always do it wrong.

No weaponised incompetence, I swear down if he fucks it up, it's because he genuinely is that dumb/has never been shown how to do it. 

Claims to be outdoorsy, but if you ever take him camping or hiking he will complain the whole time that his feet hurt (because he’s wearing inappropriate footwear) and there’s dirt on his (already filthy) coat. 

He would never admit it but he’s more reliant on his creature comforts than he lets on. 

Does, however, genuinely enjoy playing sports together, mainly footie or frisbee boomerangs. 

Can say some pretty nasty stuff during an argument. He will almost instantly regret it but is too stubborn to be the first one to apologise. Instead, he’ll do everything but say sorry until you say it first or you come to an unspoken agreement that you’ve both moved past it. 

I did the dishes, an’ I went down to that food place you like and bought back dinner. Come on babe, don’t be like that, you can’t stay mad at this face, I know ya’ can’t.

Is very much the petty jealous type, doesn’t mind you having friends/being close with people, but takes it as a personal insult when you compliment them.

Funniest person you know, I thought I was the funniest bloke you know, remember that time I made you laugh so hard your drink came out of yer nose?

I’ve got a shirt like that, you never say I look good in it. Yes, I did, I said… Oh, well I don’t remember that.

But when the shoe is on the other foot, he’s such a hypocrite, he loves it when you get jealous. Especially if he’s still stinging from his own envy, he will actively try to make you jealous. 

Loves kissing you, all the time. Got his arms wrapped around you while you’re trying to get stuff done, planting kisses up and down your neck, on any piece of skin he can reach. 

You’re not allowed to go to a different room without giving him a quick kiss before you go. Even if he isn’t in either of the rooms. 

Oi, I’ve got a bone to pick with you, you left the bedroom to get a drink and you didn’t kiss me on your way. You weren’t in the bedroom or the kitchen. Yeah, and?

He’ll take whatever kisses he can get but his favourite are the sloppy ones, tongue halfway down your throat, saliva leaking, noisy kisses. 

Brags about you constantly. Every criminal, law enforcement officer, cashier, random lady at the bus stop way more about you than they ever should. Stories are often accompanied by many candid photos of you, photos you would cringe to see if he ever revealed them to you. Man wonders why he’s so easy to find by the law, when everyone from here to Sydney knows what you look like, what you do for a living, your favourite places to eat etc. 

He also keeps polaroid pictures of you, they’re always either loose in his pockets (cause he never carries a wallet) or pinned to the wall of whatever prison cell he’s locked up in. Many of which he’s drawn on. Some doodles are pornographic but most hearts, stars, halos, and speech bubbles with illegible writing that’s supposed to say things like ‘I love you Digger’ or ‘Miss you every day’.

He doesn’t really know how to convey it but he really does cherish you.  

[dewdroppdraws]

Hi I’m new to tumblr so I’m not sure how you normally post on here but I wanted to try posting some sketches of earth from tsams! I’m not the best with anatomy so I won’t lie I did trace over some photos (REAL PHOTOS NOT ART) I found on Pinterest and modified the proportions to fit my design, but I’m trying to improve lol. For now I just rlly wanted to flesh out my design for earth which I couldn’t do while my anatomy looked like crap 😭 all the full body ones I used references for but the one in the right corner was all me so I’ve got that to my name at least 💪 I’ll include my “reference” pictures as well :> and below the pics is an explanation of the design because I love to gush about this kind of thing. Fair warning, it’s pretty long LMAO

Hehe now it’s time for me to gush about my lil design 😈

So the first major difference you probably noticed (aside from body shape) is the very fluffy clothing I have her in. The leg warmers and… fingerless gloves? Leg warmers that she put on her arms? Idk what the arm ones are called but yk what I’m talking about lol. When I first noticed earths little rainbow headband my brain immediately said “80’s workout videos”. The big hair, the rainbow headband, it just immediately jumped ot at me and stuck. I decided to give her oversized leg warmers in that same rainbow pattern because it made me sad that her actual design doesn’t have the rainbow anywhere else. It’s funky and I like it what can I say.

Next I decided I really wanted her to wear thigh-highs. I personally love thigh-highs and also it gave me an excuse not to think about her leg mechanics. I tend to draw Sun and Moon like ball joint dolls, but it gets a lil funky to draw when they are bending their limbs so having a fluffy excuse to hide them was ideal lol. I decided to go with the bold choice of putting thigh highs and leg warmers on her, which I don’t regret even tho it probably seems like a lot. I might change a few things about her later down the line since these were just basic sketches so don’t worry if you hate it.

I gave her shorts because a skirt just didn’t feel right for her. I feel like a daycare attendant would be very active, even if earth tends to sit with the quieter kids, and a skirt would be very awkward to climb around in. I figured shorts would be good. I drew them like jean shorts since that was the original intention but they could be cloth rather than denim gimme time to think about it 💀

I had a lot of trouble decided whether the thingies on her shoulders were stand-alone or like pieces of hair she keeps up front (probably attached cuz she’s a robot) I decided on making them attached to the bigger floor of hair cuz I thought it looked cutest on the pic with her shoulders up and in front of her face lol.

Onto her chest plate thing, I was considering making it an actual shirt but decided against it. I wanted her to have a crop top bc I love crop tops so I just made it so her chest area was painted like a shirt, and then her middle area was back to her “skin” color, so it’s almost like a crop top but not really…?

Last but not least is her face, I also made that her “skin” color and just put the blue and green as her cheeks! I thought it looked cutest that way. She also has heterochromia cuz when a character has two main colors I really enjoy putting them on opposite sides as often as possible haha. So her green cheek has her blue eye and her blue cheek has her green eye. I know her original model has two blue eyes but this was what I went with.

Anyways that was super long and I’m super nervous about posting this so I’m just gonna hit post and if I find a typo or decide my lil explanation was 4 paragraphs too many I’ll fix it later. Have a nice day whoever is still reading this! :>

[azucanela]

bakugou/todoroki reacting to their s.o. who usually wears long sleeves and pants wearing a casual dress? please feel free to include anyone else! also if it's ok can you add a bit of spice or smth 👉👈

REACTING TO S/O WEARING A DRESS HEADCANNONS + SCENARIOS

[ft. bakugou katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, todoroki shoto]

SUMMARY: for the first time, the boys witness you in a dress and... it ends pretty well for you. 

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

WARNINGS: make out session, kissing, insecurities, SPICE, implications 

A/N: THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO WRITE IT <3 also this is as unholy as it gets [for now] a lil spicy hehe, just a tad 

BAKUGO KATSUKI

OKAY SO

he’s taken you on dates, and normally you wear jeans and a t-shirt, and he’s fine with it, he doesn’t care, your clothes your business, you wear what you want and look good no matter what it is. sweats? hot. sweatshirt? hot.

dress? probably hot, he hasn’t seen you in one yet.

UNTIL NOWWWW

it’s getting warmer, and pants are for losers, so naturally, you wear a pretty lil sundress for your upcoming date with bakugo

he comes to get you in your dorm room, and you text him that the doors unlocked and he’s like AIGHT BET

not the type to knock before entering, but you have thankfully already been dressed and as he enters he realizes that his hypothesis was in fact correct

you are very hot in a dress

very pretty

beautiful

he’s confused though, like since when is this a thing, why are you being so casual about it? did he forget something important? when was your anniversary? 

“what the hell?”

you’re like ??? because nothing has changed

so he’s like “you’re.. in a dress.”

“OH,,, haha... yeah.”

now he’s made you insecure, you suck katsuki

once he passes the confusion he is checking you out, your thighs are exposed, and so are your arms, so he’s a lil distracted and doesn’t realize he’s distressed you

when he finally comes to he goes to compliment you, “you look-”

“bad? i should change-”

“NO.” he shouts, and it is a little too quickly and aggressive, so his cheeks flush at this outburst, “you look pretty.”

then he realizes he was too nice, “idiot.

you smile at him, and move to the door, only for him to kick it closed

you’re like ???

he’s like

!!

Katsuki tries to avoid the looks he gets from the rest of his classmates as he makes his way to Y/N’s dorm room, hands shoved into his pockets as he walks. They had a movie to get to, and Katsuki wanted to make sure they had time to get snacks before the movie started, so he intended to begin rushing her. Removing one of his hands from his pocket, he turns Y/N’s door knob, shoving the door open.

He pushes it slightly behind him, but not enough that it closes since he doesn’t intend to be here long, Katsuki looks up and turns to her, “oh hey Katsuki.”

She’s putting some things in her purse, which is on her bed, so she’s slightly bent over as she shoves some cash inside it. Meanwhile, Katsuki can’t help the astonishment that washes over his features as eyes her. “What the hell?” He can’t help but exclaim at the sight before him. This was the most skin he’d seen since... since ever.

Not that he was complaining. 

Y/N’s brows furrowed at his comment, standing up and bringing her purse onto her shoulder she looked at him and tilted her head in confusion. “Excuse me?”

Katsuki opened and closed his mouth once or twice, trying to find words as he let out a noise of frustration, gesturing to her, “you’re wearing a dress!” Exasperation clear in his tone, confused as to how she hadn’t seen this as an abnormality. Had he forgotten something? An anniversary perhaps?

Y/N, on the other hand, felt her cheeks warm at this. It hadn’t really crossed her mind that she didn’t wear dresses often, much less clothing that revealed her skin, which was littered with scars from the training and all the incidents there had been in the school year thus far. She couldn’t help the thought that rushed through her minds as she responded rather lamely, “yeah. I am.”

Katuski collected himself, “well, you look-”

“Bad? I should change-” Y/N began, preparing to go to her closet to find another outfit.

Only for Katsuki to call out, “NO!” His cheeks flushing red as he realized how ridiculous his outburst must look, Katsuki looked away. “You look nice... idiot.” 

Y/N beamed at him, moving towards him and the partially open door that he stood by, she grasped his hand, “let’s go then!” 

As she brought her hand to the knob, she was yanked back by Katsuki, who released her hand when she was close enough pulled her to his chest, pressing his lips to hers. Y/N’s free hand came up to hold his jaw, while his hands dug into her hips as he kicked the door behind him closed before shoving Y/N onto it. 

Gasping at the sudden movement, her other hand came to his hair and tugged harshly on it. In response, Katsuki released her lips and brought his mouth to her neck, one of his hands coming to the bare skin of her thigh and pulling it up to hold against himself. Pressing open mouthed kisses onto her neck, Y/N let her head fall back onto the door, giving him better access.

Exhaling deeply, Y/N spoke, “Katsuki we’re gonna be late.” As much as she wanted to disregard the movie, they’d already paid for their tickets, and she wasn’t in the mood to waste money.

In response, he bit down on her neck, causing her grip on his hair to tighten before he looked back up at her, swollen lips baring a cocky grin, “I don’t mind being late, babe.”

SHINSOU HITOSHI

he’s so cute ugh

anyways, i feel like his range in terms of style is trash bag or finest man in the room so he doesn’t care how you dress and if you switch it up on occasion

this does not make him immune to the S H O C K

anyways

you’re going out with friends, but he doesn’t know this so he comes over

you open the door for him like ? but then a light bulb goes off in your head like yes! your bf! he can help! surely!

so you let him in and now he is in shock

like wow you are always hot but WOW

dresses 4 life in shinsou’s book

AND THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND HE CAN SEE SO MUCH SKIN BECAUSE YOU NEED HELP WITH THE ZIPPER AND-

rip shinsou 2020

he’s dead

look what you did

who gonna help you with that zipper now huh

very respectful gentleman though

he looks RESPECTFULLY and TOUCHES respectfully

and he really wants to touch 

“HOW CAN HE BE SO HOTTT AND RESPECTFUL” tik tok audio

helps you with your zipper tho

because he is a good boy

but you lowkey noticed his change in attitude and well...

hahaha....

Shinsou was bored, so naturally, he was going to visit his lovely girlfriend at her dorm. It was odd, not receiving the cruel glares from his fellow students for his so called ‘villainous’ quirk. Then again, his girlfriend was the most powerful student in her dorm, and the people there either already liked him, or were forced to get over themselves when the two had started dating.

Nobody wanted to face the wrath of Y/N L/N.

He made his way to your door, smiling briefly at those he passed, a small wave to one student he knew particularly well. Shinsou knocked at the door, and the sound of shuffling came from inside, before the door peeked open slightly to reveal Y/N’s head, a smile making its way onto her face as she saw Shinsou.

“Oh, Shinsou! Perfect, come in and help me.” Cute.

His brows furrowed in confusion as he looked at her, and a small laugh left him, “alright.” Y/N. was sure to hide her body behind the door as she let him in, only increasing his confusion as he entered and she closed the door behind her. “Babe, what are you doing?” 

When she closed the door, he finally got a full view of her body and realized she was wearing a dress. Shinsou couldn’t help the moment of shock he had as he looked her up in down. “You look beautiful.” He commented, coughing as he averted his eyes. He was looking, respectfully until his eyes trailed a little too low and-

“Would you mind zipping me up?” Y/N asked, turning around, exposing her naked back to him, save for the clasp of her bra. 

Oh god you were trying to kill him.

Inhaling sharply, he nodded, “yeah, yeah, sure.” He replied. Moving closer, he brought his hands to her hips, allowing them to linger momentarily. He tilted his head as he noticed a scar running up her back, and couldn’t help but trace it upwards. Y/N felt her cheeks warm at this action, a shiver running up her spine being all it took for Shinsou to break contact entirely, “sorry.” He mumbled, embarrassed, his hand coming to the zipper and pulling it upwards.

She simply shook her head, turning around to face him, his cheeks burning red. “It’s fine.” Y/N brought her hand under his jaw and pulled him into a kiss, her other hand going to his arm.

Shinsou hummed into the kiss, allowing his hands to trail up his back once more, he finds himself regretting that he helped her zip of the dress as he presses her closer to him. 

Y/N pulls away momentarily, much to Shinsou’s dismay, before pressing another peck to his lips and shoving him backwards. The backs of his knees hitting her bed frame, causing him to fall into a seat on the bed. Shinsou raises a brow, watching her figure come between his now spread legs and tilt his head up to bring him into another kiss. 

His eyes flutter close as he finds his hands gripping her thighs, pulling onto himself before the other followed, allowing Y/N to straddle him, “what’cha doing, kitten?” He mumbled against her lips. She released his lips only to bring her own to his neck, as his hands hands went under her dress and up her thighs until-

“I have to go meet my friends.” She mumbled into his neck, exhaling deeply.

Shinsou groaned in annoyance, falling backwards onto her bed, “tease.” He grumbled under his breath, looking to her as she slipped off of him and amended her appearance, he couldn’t help but smile. “Have fun.”

TODOROKI SHOUTO

SO CUTE I LOVE HIM MARRY ME

ahem anyways.

shoto always looks nice, its in his nature and how he was raised, so he could be the wearing the best fit in the room and you could be wearing sweats but he really does not care

he doesn’t really notice what you wear tbh, you’re pretty to him no matter what so

bb boy is just sitting at the bench, you two had agreed to meet up at the mall, and he intended to SPOIL you, per usual, not that you knew this

you did not approve of his spending habits

you are his spending habits

he’s on his phone, preparing to text you, and he sees a figure appear in front of him, white dress with flowers on it is all thats in his vision

he’s about to be like stranger danger what do you need until he looks up and sees

GASP its you!

and you look MIGHTY FINE 

you always look mighty fine, no matter what you wear, but the fact that this was something new made it even better. shoto didn’t particularly care what you wore but WOW

he kinda just cannot speak, like his mouth gapes open, you have left him speechless, good job

he’s definitely eyeing you, and he isn’t very subtle but you look so GOOD like what the hell who allowed this

insert anime nosebleed from todoroki

you are going off on a tangent about bees or smth idk and he’s like not paying attention your words but he certainly is paying attention to how nice the upper half of your body is looking rn

iykyk

he does not understand the feeling he is having but he does understand he really really really wants to kiss you

several times

and he wants to touch

you are there like “shoto???”

and hes like yes, anything for you my sweet love, what do you need

“yes love?”

ugh shoto and petnames just

a simp

anyways you guys go to the mall and he’s holding you closer than normal, and even if todo is an oblivious bb, if he happens to come across someone look at you the way only he can look at you?

its over lol burn down the mall

what was SUPPOSED a lil intimate lunchtime behind the mall in a more empty area turns into spicy todo

Sighing as he shifted on the bench, phone in hand as he prepared to text his fashionably late girlfriend, Shoto realized someone was approaching him, a white dress spotted with pink flowers filled his vision and his brows furrowed. Shoto opened his mouth to speak to the stranger, looking up only to realize it was no stranger.

It was his fashionably late girlfriend. 

Shoto couldn’t help but straighten his back at the sight of her, mouth gaping open as he eyed her appearance. This was... abnormal. He rarely took note of her outfits, however he’d never seen so much bare skin, that much he knew. 

Y/N simply pressed a kiss to his cheek, as though nothing was amiss, she began to speak of the difficulty she experienced on the way to the mall. Shoto failed to pay attention though, his eyes lingering on her upper body as he nodded along in the midst of his shock.

“Anyways, would you mind if we ate first?” The breeze blew her hair slightly, and Y/N basked in the sun, “maybe we could eat outside.” She suggested.

Snapping out of his trance, Shoto nodded rapidly, “of course, love.” 

Y/N beamed at him, extending a hand for him, which he accepted, pressing a kiss to it before sitting up. 

This was also... abnormal. Shoto never deprived her of affection, but in public it was rare for him to kiss her and he just- Y/N tried to shake herself of these thoughts, but couldn’t help the warmth that she felt spread across her cheeks as they began to head inside the mall. When they made it to the food court Y/N selected a soba place, bringing a smile onto Shoto’s face, though when she tried to pay, Shoto had already been tipping the person at the cashier $100. 

As Y/N had previously suggested, the two made their way outside, and as Shoto suggested, they found a more desolate space to enjoy their food. They had ended up behind the mall in a small, unbothered, field. He’d stopped by a store to purchase and blanket, and Y/N couldn’t help but get excited at the concept of a makeshift picnic. The pair sat down on the blanket, placing the bag of food down. 

Shoto couldn’t help the smile that found its way onto his face as he looked at her, “you look beautiful.” He complimented, crossing his legs.

Y/N beamed up at him, “thank you, Shoto.” She leaned forwards, on her hands and knees as she pressed a kiss onto his lips. Shoto pulls away momentarily,  only for his hands to find their way onto her face, deepening the kiss.

Pulling away, Y/N raises a brow, “you’re awfully affectionate today.” She points out, moving to sit down closer to him as she brings a hand to play with his hair.

“Well, I want to touch you.” Comes his response, and in that moment Y/N contemplates cursing Shoto out for his bluntness, though she’s distracted when one of his hands comes to her thigh, “may I?”

Oh god.

Y/N nods, enjoying this side of Shoto as he brings his other hand under her other thigh, pulling her into his lap before pressing another kiss to her lips. Shoto sighs contentedly at this, and Y/N’s hand remains in his hair, tugging gently at the bicolored locks. Meanwhile, his hands wander her body in wonder as he breaks the kiss to place his lips on her neck. Y/N can’t help but lean her neck further back. 

“Happy?” She mumbled as he pressed a kiss to her collarbone.

Shoto looks up at her to respond, “very.”

A/N: this is my favorite thing it was literally so fun to write omg

[ilysmxiao]

scarred palms | xiao x reader

summary : xiao had told you the story of the scars on the skin that showed, perhaps he was insecure of so, as he was shy to speak of such stories. as one wouldn’t expect, words shared amoungst humans were rarely ever original, though, it was the first he had ever heard such words . character(s) : xiao warnings : mentions of self harm. tho this is comfort !! a/n : came up w this and thought it would be nice !! pls send me some nice requests, rn i mainly write for zhongli, xiao, and kazuha -- though, i can try out other characters! i need to experiment w my writing pfft

            “ it’s the way you speak,                            forming words so easily.                                          i think of the way you think,                                                         it keeps me from falling asleep. “                                                   °· ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ·°

it had been a rough night for xiao, after returning from a recent battle. he rest upon the roof of wangshu inn, settling under the stars that found their spot amongst the very place he protected. the calm, but very much alive atmosphere buzzled below -- the people finding their way back home after the small celebration they held, holding the hands of their lovers as they walked to their rooms.  the thought of love was one he despised, hating the human emotions that created a home in anothers heart -- though, at the same time, he knew that he, himself, had grown ill to such a particular thing.  the tiles shifted ever so slightly, as feet carefully scaled their way across them. it had become a normal thing to hear, at times at these, and the barer of who made those tiles shift was not unknown. it had become a normal routine, and to xiao, it was one he looked forward to on days such as these -- he would never admit to such, instead, hide his delighted heart from his lover when he felt the pressure of their head leaning against his shoulder, and the way they cautiously and lovingly they rubbed the back of his shoulder blades.  in all of xiaos years of guarding liyue, watching many people walk along the very land he protected, seeing many pleasing faces that he had shown no care for, he had never expected one to be the fault of the feelings he had never seemingly dealt with before. one to make him feel human, almost, showing him that any person, human or not, could learn to love. as if, that anything but humans felt that emotion, more or less understood it.  a question was not needed to know how the adepti was doing, nor did an answer need to suffice. after spending the time that they had with the male, seeing him come home with new scars and marks on his already tethered body, it was enough to understand how long those scars would stay with him.  resting a hand upon the fresh scars, you glance at xiao, who had trained his eyes on the abyss above the two. his hand shied away from yours, retreating to the home by his side.  “our scars hold meaning, yours show and hold such complicity that many would never understand -- sometimes, even i will never truly understand what you go through.” to this, xiao turned his ill gaze to his lover, curious of what else they had to say. though such words were often spoke amongst the morals he protected, he had yet to have one say such things to himself. never would he recover from his battles, his scars earning their place on the patches of skin he had, taunting him, but words of comfort from his lover would suffice and slowly take away the hurt that they held. “that takes away no meaning. no matter what you do, how many layers you wear to protect yourself from the blades colliding with your skin, you can not escape it. it is important to understand that, and while doing so, know that you can slowly heal from it.” you comfortingly reached towards xiaos hand, softly picking it up and bringing it to your lips. the feeling brought tingling sensations through his body, earning a slight shiver from so. “scars are horrible, but we all have some. they’re unavoidable. what matters is not how they were formed, but how we deal with it, and what we do from there on.” after letting go of the others hand, you raised yours slightly and brought to attention of the many that littered your own. it had been known to xiao that you had your own scars, but to his dismay and disappointment, he truly never understood how many you had. it made his heart sink, seeing how many of them were seemingly self inflicted -- he wondered why you would ever do such a thing to yourself, not understanding why mortals would hurt themselves, or how much could have lead themselves to the point to doing so. “whats the point in self loathing and wishing for better, if you won’t take steps in that direction? they’re apart of you, you can’t escape that, but you can give them meaning and make them worth seeing. my point is, you can’t hide it, don’t embrace them if you dont want to, but don’t let your scars define you. it’s a thing thats often said.., but as much as it is said, it still holds meaning. and you do not deserve to forever hold onto these things and only see them as bad, no matter where they are from, or how they were caused.” despite having multiple, loving occasions the both had shared that made their relationship ever so more beautiful, xiao felt himself grow even more attached to you, the coldness in his heart melting ever so slightly with each word you spoke. silence followed after the few words you spoke, making you begin to regret ever speaking up in the first place -- showing your vulnerable side, showcasing your own scars as if you had healed from them yourself.  “i’m sorry, i rambled on,” you admit, shame contorting your expression into a unsatisfied one.  though, unexpectantly, you felt a warmth engulf your body -- xiao replacing the cold breeze that comfortably sat between the gap. xiao had never been one to show his affection, finding small gestures more suitable for the feeling of love he had never fully understood. as days progressed, he began to find out more, finally beginning to realize that this what was love was. what was shown by mortals, the affection they gave each other on a day to day basis, it was only the surface; the surface being all that he knew, thinking it was just that. you had taught him that it was more than so, it was not just loving kisses and comforting hugs, it was the mutual understanding that no matter what happened, you would both be there for each other. to care for one another, to relic in the moments that would soon become history, and to cherish them as if there would be not another day to experience them. love was what you taught him, and until the day you left the day of the living, he would be sure to do what he could to show that -- even if all that he was capable of was muttering a small ‘i love you’, or giving you a hug if he could not find the correct words to show how much you meant to him. the grip he held on your shirt tightened, your arms intertwining with his to return the gesture. xiao nuzzled his face into your neck, eyes shutting tightly as he did so. a small smile formed on your lips, understanding that the other had appreciated what you said. “i love you,” xiao said quietly, breaking the small silence that had grown comfortable in the lap of your air. you could hear the slightly labored breathing escaping his lips, the warm air grazing your neck and dissipating each time he let another breath of air out. his warm body was pressed against your own, chest rising and falling until he soon calmed down. “i love you too, xiao.” in that moment, xiao’s repulsive and deprecating thoughts ceased, thinking of only you and the comfort you gave him. the silence from before returned, engulfing the area near, but this time, it was comfortable -- he could bask in your presence forever, especially in this moment. he couldn’t wish for anything better than you, in the life he had been given. although he was an adepti, prone to straying away from such putrid human feelings, he felt himself nearing acceptance of his want for such love to stay, more or less to stay beside him forevermore.  xiao was unable to be healed from the horrid fate at which he had been given, but little by little, he understood that not all was bad and he could one day learn not to hate it.

[thatonecoryosimp]

The Devil's Mercenary pt.3 Technoblade X reader

Hey y'all, this is part 3. Probably not the last part tho, I have some ideas for this story, but I would love some help on ideas for 4. This was wanted by the beautiful 🐍 anon. I hope you enjoy :)

Warnings: Cursing, suggestive.

Series Masterlist

Pt. 4

Do I regret agreeing to the deal? Yes and no. I would have never said yes if this wasn't to save my ass, but at the same time, I'm glad that he gave me this opportunity.

Technoblade and I started off the next morning, giving Wilbur some bullshit excuse about going to get resources. I guess it wasn't a complete lie, but it most definitely wasn't a full truth.

The walk to the portal was relatively quiet, but oh gods was it boring. He had insisted on a portal somewhere only he knew, it was ridiculous. Not to mention the clothes I had on were not something to wear into the Nether.

We made it to the border of a glade. The sight was almost breathtaking, it had rolling hills and beautiful flowers. There were spots of ponds dotting the grassy fields. Bees buzzed overhead, and bunny's hopped along through the narrow tree patches.

A smile tugged at my lips as I followed the blood god through the greenery. I was in a daze as the ocean appeared in front of us. The coral-filled water was clear and unfiltered. The breeze was fresh, untouched by the people on the server.

The waves crashed as Dolphins rushed above the water, swimming in small packs. Fish danced in schools as they swam. If you looked close enough in the beautifully decorated area, you could see the colors of an axolotl or two.

The sight was enough to distract me from my evident demise, but only until it was rudely interrupted by the man it would be caused by.

"We're here," he huffed out. I turned to him. He was stalking off along the edge of the beach, there was a tiny shack where the woods began. I started to follow him soon after, my feet sloshing in the sand as I listened to the life around me.

The building would certainly be a blink and you'll miss it, that is if it didn't have the ghostly noises ringing out from inside it. That in itself was enough to catch anyone's attention.

The door thudded open as Tech pushed it. The hinges squeaked, and the floorboards cried out in despair as the hulking man stepped onto them. The eerie sounds only got louder as I followed him in, and it sealed my fate as purple particles came into view.

Technoblade didn't seem to care that I had frozen behind him, that or he didn't notice, which I doubt. He sat the bag he was carrying down on an old chair that looked like it would give way any second.

"We have food, water, and weapons," he stated as he turned to me. My eyebrows furrowed.

"Don't you need armor?"

"Sweetheart, the day I need armor to go into the Nether is the day Tommy's voice stops cracking."

I slightly chuckled at that, it was nowhere near as close to the feeling of calm the water gave me, but it was something.

"Well, I guess we should just get it over with then." Tech nodded as he looked at me.

"You have a sword on you, right?" I patted my hip.

"Yup."

And that was that. He stepped in first, leaving me in the dark shack all on my own. I could run away now, leave everything behind, Wilbur, Tommy, Techno... this stupid bet... and... Dream. I sighed. I couldn't do that, I've already betrayed my friends, the least I could do is face karma as I should.

I made contact with the purple and a shiver shot down my spine. My feet rested on the obsidian below me as my body started to fade out of the world I knew. My eyes closed and a nauseous feeling fell over me.

I gasped, almost falling forward before catching myself. He stood before me as I leaned on the portal's edge. I will never get used to how that feels.

"There's a fortress right near here, it's only a little ways North."

I shook my head and stood up straight, my swords felt heavier than they ever had as I walked towards the brick building. My heart was hammering as my boots thumped. The Nether was cast in its usual red hue as we walked. The heat was close to unbearable, and my skin felt like it was melting.

The fortress was in a Soul Sand Valley. Of fucking course it was. He did say he needed a bunch of Wither skulls.

"We'll split up, that way we can get in and out, meet back here in an hour, if you're not here, I'll assume your dead and tell others as such, got it?"

I didn't really have the time to argue with him, nor did I feel like it. I just want to get this over with.

"Yeah, whatever."

Then he walked away. I started to make my way through the Nether Brick walls, there was a staircase leading downwards, that's probably my best bet. The clicks of my feet were very apparent as I walked downwards. My eyes caught onto the black bones of almost 6 skeletons. I unsheathed my swords from the belt and smirked. This was gonna be fun.

~~~~

It had been about forty-five minutes. I sighed heavily as I picked up the last skull I needed. I had a full stack, if that wasn't enough then I don't know how to please this man.

My body and clothes were covered in black dust, my hands hurt, and my swords needed to be cleaned. Thank the gods I knew which way was out, otherwise, I'd be completely screwed. The familiar stairs came into sight and I smiled. Finally.

I leaned against the wall where Technoblade told us to meet, my eyes shut and I finally had a chance to breathe. There was sweat dripping from my face, and my shirt was transparent as it hugged my skin.

My eyes shot open as I heard heavy footsteps making their way towards me. I unsheathed one sword and stood there. Eyes scanning along the area. Pink hair became visible and I relaxed.

Technoblade saw me and raised his eyebrows, "I really thought you'd be dead."

"Thanks for having faith in me," I grumbled with a roll of my eyes as I chucked the stack of skulls at him, "Let's just get the fuck out of here."

"Some mouth you have their sweetheart."

"Don't call me that," I stated flatly.

"You sure didn't have a problem with Dream calling you that."

"Well you're not Dream, are you? You're most certainly not attractive enough to be. Looking like some knock-off barbie doll with that hair."

"Oh, alright high and mighty. You think you're some spectacular view?"

"Oh come on, I'm sure you'd just love to fuck me against the wall, huh Blade?"

His eyes turned to slits, "I'm sure you'd enjoy that, y'know, since you seem to be such a cock hungry whore, to the point where you'd betray the people that took you in, helped you, loved you."

I huffed. That sad thing is... he was right. Not about him, of course. But about me, everything he said about me was true in some aspect. My eyes trailed to the floor and I embraced defeat.

"Let's just go."

I stormed out, making my way back to the portal. Technoblade followed close behind me. Eyes glued on my back. I was gonna kill him. One day, I'm going to shove my sword through his heart and watch the Blood God crumbled to his knees.

But that day wouldn't be today...

And that day would never come. Because unbeknownst to me, fate had another idea. One that didn't involve hate, or plunging a sword through his heart.

I stepped into the glowing portal and fell through into the overworld.

~~~~

"There's a shower in the other room, but the water won't stay warm for both of us, the plumbing is shit."

"Well ain't that just lovely," I looked around the room, it was getting dark out, which didn't make much sense, but time is weird in the Nether, "I guess we're staying here tonight?"

Tech nodded, "It's the smartest idea, it's a long walk back, and there's two beds."

Well, ain't this just great? A night with the Blood God. Just what I needed.

"What about the shower situation?" He looked at the door, which I could only guess was the bathroom, "We could shower at the same time."

My eyes widened, "Do you expect me to shower with some pervert?"

He rolled his eyes, "Do you wanna shower in the cold?" I shook my head. "Didn't think so."

"Couldn't one of us just shower in the morning?"

"It'll still be cold, it takes almost two days for the water to warm up, it's never been much of a problem since I don't come here too often."

I sighed, "Fine, just don't be lookin at me." He nodded.

I should have just died in that fortress.

~~~~

Not too sure how I feel about that, but it didn't end up too bad. As I said earlier, I would love some ideas for part 4. Love you babes <3

[yulin-pop]

Hello! ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎ ♡

Can I request a matchup please?

I'm short, about 5'1-5'2 almost like an IKEA nightstand and slightly plump like a padded bag chair. I have pale pink dyed hair and brown eyes. I also have a lot of moles on my body and barely noticeable freckles. Usually i wear comfortable loose clothes, something like sweatpants and some kind of oversize T-shirt, not super luxury :D

I’m gemini, ISFP and i can describe myself as a person who have trust issues, so it’s hard for me to open up to people at first. Despite of this i love affections in various expressions. Compliments, hugs, smooches - I really like to show attachment to my family and friends! Even if it seems so clingy tbh.

Sometimes i'm overwhelmed by emotions and i became rude and harsh in communication, for which I later regret. Let's says my mood always changes by unexplained reasons, yeah…

I'm a bit sarcastic and also unconsciously criticize myself by making self-destructive jokes, thanks to my past, but however my small circle of closed friends says that I mostly looks like a chihuahua - just as small, chaotic and bitey in a good way tho. Even if i more on introverted side i'm eccentric and active in some ways. I mean who one day came to university with invoices mustache and beard just because wanted to? Yep, me. A little weird me.

I have specific tastes in everything from eating french fries with ice cream as sauce to non-standard combination of clothes and colors. It maybe sounds oddly but i like strange and absurd memes, dumb puns and black humour, and i quite often use them in conversations.

I adore astrology and mysticism. Some kind of mystery of the world attracts me, gives me ground for reflection, thereby forcing me to spend almost all my free time on it, and I find it really interesting. I also like everything related to maritime culture and mythology. Warm rainy days, autumn season and evening time of day when the sun slowly sets over the horizon. And I also really like such simple little things as cute pebbles that can be found not only on the beach, but also on an ordinary street, key rings and other seemingly unnecessary trinkets.

What about dislikes? Well, at first it’s wasps. Thank God that I didn't have to come into close contact with them. In my opinion, it's better to run from a flock of geese than from a gang of wasps. The second is acute. I can't and don't like too spicy food and dishes. One day I ate very spicy noodles and my lips cried from burning for half an hour. Not a very good feeling, especially when they are cracked...

When I was a little girl, I attended every school circle, but I didn't stay in any of them due to my frequent variability in both character and interests, and it's a little difficult for me to understand which hobby has sunk into my soul more, heh. I knitted, drew, and excelled in sports - everything in a row, but a little. If singing in the bathroom is considered a hobby, then this is one of them that stayed with me throughout my growing up, ha ha. I will give preference to drawing and writing more, perhaps.

Since no one has ever shown romantic feelings towards me, for me it would be something unusual, perhaps shocking. At first glance, this may also scare me, especially if I don't consider this person not only as an "object of sighing", but also just as a friend (I mean a ordinary acquaintance with whom you don't really communicate due to various factors by type of interests, life position, etc.). Although, to be honest, even if a very good, close friend suddenly began to show me loving attentions, I would also be confused and puzzled due to the fact that I simply am not familiar with this and do not know how to react to it heh.

I'm sorry, if it came out quite a lot, but I was happy to share! Thank you for your work, I hope you have a lovely day! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)❤️

↛ ❀ Match up; @Idontknowwhatwritenow

I match you with Jade Leech

He’s good with all sorts of people. He’s always calm and composed and very trust worthy. He may be intimidating at first but things will work itself out. He’s used to people being harsh with him and he reassures that it’s ok when you apologize for your outbursts. He can handle your emotions well, but he might be a bit puzzled with your affection towards him. He’s used to Floyd harshfully hugging him in a playful way but with you, you’re just genuine.

He’s come used to aggressive people, with Floyd being Floyd and Azul’s outbursts. He can handle you well and can calm you down.

He listens to you talk and talk about all sorts of topics out of curiosity. He doesn’t really care for the things you’re talking about but he wants to see how passionate you.

He wonders why he’s so… careful with you. He can’t think of a reason until he arrives at the conclusion he’s extremely fond of you, more than anything he’s ever felt. He gets flirty, making jokes about you getting special treatment from him, him being your “servant”. He notices that you it’s difficult to take a hint that he views you in that way so he gets progressively more forward with his teasing.

He plans out when he’s going to confess extremely carefully and strategically. He makes sure it’s the right moment, atmosphere, location. He thinks it down to each second. His confession came out a bit more bashful than he intended.

He gives you time if needed but will get impatient after a while, in that waiting time, he will continue flirting.

He’s playful with the ones he likes. Him teasing is his own way of showing affection, hopefully you don’t mind.

[bruhstories]

switch

summary: you and yuji have been together for three years now, but on your anniversary night, you allow your own demons to come to the surface. pairing: ryomen sukuna x female!reader (itadori yuji x female!reader, too, i guess?) | aged up characters word count: 3.5k warning & content: cheating?? (is it cheating if it's technically the same body?), unprotected sex, creampie, slight dacryphillia, vaginal fingering, blackmail, reader is kind of an asshole? (can you blame her tho, sukuna is such a daddy ugh), bit of overstimulation, slight dumbification (if you squint)

a/n: i'm back, and i can tell my writing skill is getting rusty. i took a break and it's obvious with this fic, but i need to get my head back in the game. it is what it is.

Yuji was a great boyfriend. In all honesty, he was every woman and man's dream — funny, charming, attentive and, most importantly, caring. He cared about you so much that he always made sure to control his own personal demon. You knew about Sukuna, Yuji told you after a few dates, and you were well versed in Jujutsu Sorcery, enough to know that he was not someone you could mess with. But you didn't want to give up on Yuji, and stuck with him through thick and thin. After almost three years of the beautiful and fun relationship you two had, he asked you to move in with him since you were both adults now, and you gladly accepted, because after so much time, you came to love him, despite seeing Sukuna's outbursts during fights. That thing, that monster, was beyond terrifying, but you trusted Yuji with all your heart, and that was all that mattered.

Or maybe you were unhinged, maybe you wanted Sukuna to come to the surface. Maybe, deep down in your heart, you fell in love with the switch, with the raging, brutal frenzies that you happened to witness on the rare occasions when Yuji couldn’t control the King of Curses. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer, because, as opposed to your optimistic and good-natured boyfriend, you never hesitate to kill – human or curse. Sometimes it felt as if your curiosity surpassed your love for Yuji, and that was a horrendous thought. Surely, that can’t be the real you, right?

Today is your three-year anniversary, and naturally, you want to surprise your boyfriend, so when you come home from a mission, you stop by his favourite ramen restaurant, picking up something to eat, maybe even some dessert. You tiptoe inside when you notice Yuji napping on the couch, and after silently setting up the table, careful not to wake him up, you quickly change into something... nicer. Yuji doesn't really enjoy it when you show some skin, which sucks because you want him to show you off. Nevertheless, you respect him, but tonight is special, surely it wouldn't hurt if you wear a shorter skirt. And a low-cut blouse. And heels. Fuck it, you think, adding a pair of thigh high socks as well, maybe that would rile him up. As much as you loved him, Yuji was too gentle. You liked that about him, truly, but sometimes you just need him to give you a good fuck, which was impossible, no matter how much you begged him to do it. You watch your reflection in the mirror from head to toe, proud of your skimpy outfit, but you can't help but wonder if he might be upset at your choice of attire. Even if he prefers it when you're dressed in pastels, that's not you, the real you. "You look good enough to eat." Yuji's voice breaks your trance and you turn on your heels to look at him. He stands in the doorway of the bedroom, arms folded across his chest, but there's a strange aura around him, and you can't exactly see his face through the dim lights. "You like it?" Your ears perk up, happy that he's not bothered by the clothes. "I do. You should dress like that more often." He sneers, stepping closer to you. "Alright, what kind of prank are you pulling now, Yuji? You never liked these kinds of clothes." You lower your head, your luscious lips turning into a pout. His calloused fingertips grip your chin, turning your head to face the mirror, and that's when you see the black markings on his face. Fear paralyses your entire body, eyes widening in panic and anxiety. "He might not like them, but I do." His voice is lower than Yuji's, calm yet obscenely dangerous. "I- you-" The words get caught in your throat, and you can't take your eyes off of his reflection. You know for a fact there's absolutely nothing you can do to defend yourself from Sukuna without hurting Yuji, and that thought makes you feel incredibly small and downright pathetic. "Little lamb, do you have any idea how hard it's been for me to watch this ungrateful brat take you for granted?" His hand is still leaving imprints on your chin and cheek, the other travelling down your back. "To watch you lose yourself for him, of all people?" "You don't know me!" Lips open without a thought, and you regret every syllable that came out of your mouth. "Oh, but I do." Yuji, no, Sukuna sneers, that same hand that was once on your back is now on your abdomen, painstakingly slowly creeping under your blouse. "Everything he sees, I see. Everything he smells, I smell. What he hears, I hear. But I just couldn't touch what's mine. Until now." You feel him pinching your nipple, and you're ashamed to admit how good his skin feels against yours, his hot breath fanning over your nape. "'M not yours." You grit your teeth, manicured fingernails digging into the plush of your thighs to keep your composure. "There's one thing I can smell that he can't. Wanna know what that is, sweet dove?" He whispers in your ear, and it's dotting your skin with goosebumps. "Enlighten me." "Your arousal." "You're bluffing." Is all you manage to say before Sukuna spins you around, pinning you against the mirror. "Let's see, shall we? I bet you're dripping," he shoves one of your legs to the side with his knee, and you don't stop him, "I bet you you've fantasised about this, late at night, when this brat can't please you. He's well endowed, though, it's a shame he can't use his dick." "S-stop it, please. I love him." "Pardon me if I doubt that." "Please, sir..." Sir? How should you call him? Demon? Cursed spirit? Monster? "How about master?" Sukuna barks back, as if reading your mind sarcasm dripping

down his tongue. You can't stifle a moan when his teeth sink in the crook of your neck, and you know damn well that you want this, and that every word he uttered so far was correct. You have thought about Yuji switching with Sukuna, wondered how he would fuck you, make you chant his name, but you never told your boyfriend, you couldn't. It's sinful, disgraceful and disgusting. Instinctively, you grind up his thigh, tears of shame and lust pooling at your eyes when you slowly give in to the temptation. He's already bruised your skin, one hand toying with your tits, the other lifting your skirt up. It's too late to fight him, because you never wanted to fight him in the first place. You deepest, darkest wish is finally coming to life. "That's better." Sukuna licks his lips, and your half-lidded, glossy eyes land on his tongue. "Please, m-may I kiss you?" Eyes dart away, cheeks burning with desire and embarrassment. "How polite of you to ask." He coos at you mockingly, his face inching closer to yours before absolutely crushing your lips under his. You don't hesitate to partly open your mouth, allowing his tongue to slip between your lips. Fuck, he kisses you so good that your knees give in, and all you can think is that if he's such a good kisser, he's definitely going to fuck you dumb. And you want that more than anything. When he pulls away, you lick your lips, still tasting him on your tongue, and he tastes so much better than Yuji — sweet and addictive. "I really wanted to take my time with you, after all, I waited three long years for this. But you're such an eager little slut, aren't you?" "I'm n-not a slut-" You try to protest, but you can't fool him, especially not when he's pushing your panties to the side, fingers grazing over your slit. "You are a slut. You merely buried that side of you for a pathetic little boy who can't handle a real woman." Sukuna's index finger gently brushes against your clit, enough to have you weak and needy. "Don't worry, Y/N, you don't have to hide from me. You can show me what you really want." It hurts to know that Yuji probably sees and hears everything, that he will probably break up with you after this, but you're too far gone to care about his feelings when finally someone is paying attention to yours. Your hand travels up his thigh, palming his already hard cock, and the way he groans, throwing his head back is satisfying enough for you. It hurts to think that Yuji never appreciates this side of you, and it's more painful when you consider this to be cheating — it's still his body, technically, but it's not your loving boyfriend, and you're perfectly fine with that. He slips a finger between your folds, a quiet moan escaping your lips, and Sukuna knows you won't dare say no to him, or try to reason with him. He adds another finger, but he absolutely does not move them an inch, instead you automatically fuck yourself on his hand, gripping one of his shoulders for support. "That's a good whore." Sukuna praises you, tongue lapping at your collarbone, making you delirious with lust. "You want my cock? Want me to fuck your aching cunt?" It's impossible to refuse his proposition, instead you buck your hips, your fingers gripping his t-shirt and you know you might tear it if you keep this up. "Yes..." You answer him, voice soft and quiet. "Yes what?" "P-please... Yes, please!" "Much better. Get on the bed." Sukuna commands and you obey, skirt dangerously hiked up. You proceed to take it off, but he slaps your hands away, too impatient for such formalities. He did wait a long time for this, you understand that, and so you lay on your back, blouse unbuttoned, panties on the floor and legs wide open for him to take you. Oh, and he adores this sight, how you willingly give yourself to him, your dainty fingers spreading your juices around your cunt, eager to be filled. In those three years of being with Yuji, you got used to his cock, but seeing it now seems like it's the first time. Precum leaks from the blushing tip and your mouth begins to water just by looking at him, and

this pleases Sukuna greatly. "Tell me what you want." He climbs on top of you, hands resting next to you as your fingernails graze over his chest. "I don't wanna say it..." You avert your gaze, a crumb of dignity left in you because you know Yuji hears everything. "Oh, you don't?" He quirks a brow, brown irises bearing a hint of red. "Then you won't mind me killing the brat." This garners your attention, and you feel stupid because of course he would blackmail you. Do you care? No. Do you want Yuji to think you care? Yes. "Please don't hurt him." You look back at Sukuna, tears pricking your eyes. "Why shouldn't I? We both know he doesn't deserve you." "You're wrong, I love-" "This isn't about you loving him, it's about you renouncing your true nature." His hand finds its way on your neck, fingers wrapping around it. "How many times have you begged him to choke you and he refused? How many times did you ask him to fuck you harder and he said no? You're a filthy slut, Y/N, and it's time you got what you deserve." The lack of air has your pussy clenching around nothing, and you hate him so much for being right. Yuji could never give you what you want, but Sukuna can, and it's an opportunity you can't pass. "Now, I'll say this one last time — tell me what you want." He releases the grip on your neck. "Y-you! I want you to fuck me, please, fuck me good, make me yours!" The tears that roll down your cheeks ruin your makeup, mascara mixed with eyeshadow smeared under your eyes. The tip of his cock pushes past your folds, and inch by inch he bottoms out. It feels bigger than before, stretching you open in a beautiful blend of pain and pleasure, your lips forming an O as your eyes roll back. "He doesn't deserve your tears. But I do. Cry for me." Sukuna sneers, his broad frame hovering above you and you feel so small and vulnerable. Yet again you obey, allowing more salty droplets to run down your face as you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling him go deeper. "Fuck, 's big! Oh, god-" Sukuna's palm meets your cheek, a sharp, stinging pain bringing your eyes on him. "Focus, whore. Not god, not the brat, me." He grunts, hips rocking back and forth harder and faster. "Who do you belong to?" You don't want to say it, what would Yuji think of you? He's probably already disgusted, contemplating breaking up with you once he regains control of his body. Another slap pulls you out of your thoughts and you buck your hips against his. "Answer me." "I b-belong to you! You!" "That's right, you're mine. Don't worry your pretty head, little lamb, Yuji won't be coming back any time soon." He grunts with every thrust, and his reassurance is somewhat comforting, because, god, he fucks you so good, you would kill for another opportunity like this. His teeth sink into your shoulder, fingers bruising your skin and you're delighted that he's marking you. All that matters is that you're his, chanting his name over and over again, praying to your new god, and Sukuna is beyond pleased with his work of art. When he pulls out of you, you almost cry, because it feels like a part of you is missing, but he's a merciful god, he won't let his newly devoted subject famished. Flipping you over as if you're made of feathers, he thrusts back into your aching cunt, and you yelp at the feeling of being overpowered by him. Sukuna's stamina is off the charts, because while your legs begin to feel numb, he's fucking into you with such force and intensity that the damn bed slides on the floor. It's raw, the way he's defiling your cunt, and it's sending your brain into overdrive. Your spongy walls clench around his cock, and while he doesn't say anything, the simple fact that he's going deeper and harder makes you feel special. Squirming and thrashing under him, you're desperate for some form of validation, and so you lift your ass up, pushing it back against his hips with a delightful moan escaping your lips. Sukuna takes notice of your sudden change of posture, and the way you curve your spine to try and get a look at him is adorable. "You want something,

pet?" He barely spares you a glance, and his indifference makes your pussy flutter. Your incoherent sentence almost makes him laugh, words such as good and please distinguishable between the other stutters. "Use your fucking words." A slap over your firm ass makes you yelp and jolt up. "A-am I good enough f-for you?" The question takes him by surprise, but he doesn't stop to think. Instead, he digs his sharp talons into the plush of your hips, overjoyed by your eagerness to please him. "You could do better." Sukuna teases you, but you take it personally, sadness and determination coiling inside of your heart. By this point, you don't even remember your boyfriend's name, too high on pleasure to even care. "'M sorry! P-please, I wanna be good!" You throw your head back and he wraps an arm around your neck, pressing his chest against your back. "If you wanna make me happy, you best forget about Itadori." "W-who?" "Your– never mind." Sharp canines flashed in his smirk, Sukuna tilts your head enough for you to catch a glimpse of his eyes. They're dark and vicious, and any sane person would be repulsed by them, but not you. No, you drown in them, completely absorbed by the hatred hiding behind them. The more you stare into his orbs, the closer you are to your climax. And he knows it. "Fuck fuck fuck!" "That's right, little lamb, let go of all that is moral and human." "Don't stop- oh, god, please don't s-stop!" In your frenzy, in his frantic pace, Sukuna's close, too. It would have taken any other woman hours to please him due to his insatiable nature, but you — your cunt clenching around his cock for dear life milks him dry, and inch by inch he pulls out, watching the hot liquid dripping down your trembling thighs. Art, he thinks, this is what art is — your face buried in the pillows, ass up, and his seed spilling out of your sore cunt. You come down from your haze, slowly but surely, and the realisation of what just happened begins to hit you. You want to regret everything, to feel a shred of shame, but there isn't any left. After this night, Sukuna irrevocably owns you, and you wouldn't have it any other way. He lays on the bed, lazily watching you stumble in the bathroom to clean yourself up, but with his guard up in case you want to try anything stupid. Yet when you don't come back, Sukuna wonders if you ran away out the window, which makes him laugh to himself because he could find you anywhere if he wanted to. So, he drags his feet across the room, finding you on the edge of the bathtub, watching the water pool inside with a blank stare. When you feel his presence, you get up and tug at the hem of his shirt. The man flinches, until he remembers that you are harmless and exhausted, and you don't look like you even want to put up a fight, so he allows you to take his shirt off. "Is this for me?" He points at the tub, brow quirked and a mischievous smile on his lips. "Yes." "Are you gonna clean me up?" "Yes." You sigh, wondering if you truly ever loved Yuji, wondering why you didn't even try to fight for him. "Do you want your boyfriend back?" Oh, how you dreaded this question. You cringe at the words, and don't reply. Silence is also an answer, but he's cruel. "I need to hear it." "He will also hear it." Of course he will, that's the whole point of humiliation. Sukuna steps in the tub, dipping himself in the hot water, a hand extended towards you. "Join me." You hesitate to take his hand, lips pursed and eyes narrowed at the man who looks so serene that it amazes you how brutal he was before. "I won't ask again." Complying, and not wanting to anger him, you don't waste another moment to get in the tub, back against his chest. "Can I ask you a question?" "You just did, sweet dove." "Fine, I’ll shut up." "Now, now, don't give me that attitude, or else I'll have to put you in your place. And you won't like it." His nails are pressed onto your jugular, and you know those things can cut, your hips are still bleeding. "Ask away." He lets his hands fall on your shoulders and you exhale the breath that was caught in your

throat. "Why didn't you kill me? Why don't you kill me?" "I need a pet." "Oh." Your disappointment makes Sukuna burst into laughter. What did you expect? A confession of love? "Oh?" He mocks you, tracing circles on your skin with his talons. "Don't worry, I take good care of my pets. Especially if they're loyal and obedient." His hands travel down your body, one pulling your knee to the side, the other moving up your thigh. "You are loyal and obedient, yes?" "Please, no more-" The rest of the sentence dies before you can utter it when his fingers ghost over your swollen clit. "Answer me, Y/N." "I can't come again!" "You can, and you will, because I want you to. Now answer the fucking question." Sukuna toys with you, only pushing his index finger one knuckle deep between your folds before pulling it out, and somehow you can't feel the sharpness of his nails. "Will you serve and obey me, not once questioning my authority?" He pushes the finger back in, curling it upwards and you don't fail to clench your walls once more. "Oh, f-fuck, I will, I will! But please, I can't–" When he rubs your clit, you are done for. You didn't think you could reach another climax, but those circles he's rubbing with enough pressure to both give you pleasure and pain have you melting in his arms. "Swear it, then. Make a pact with me. I can give you anything in return, maybe even the brat." "I s-swear it, S-Sukuna! I swear my loyalty to you!" You hiss between your gritted teeth, hips rolling in synchronicity with his hand. "And in return, what do you want?" "I want you! Oh, god, I only want you!" "Clever girl." The man decides to give you what you want, and with a quickened pace, you squeeze your thighs together, coming undone on his fingers. "I'm going to enjoy your company." Embracing your true nature is your salvation, and damnation. Your boyfriend is never coming back, Sukuna simply won't allow it, and from this moment on, your memories of Yuji begin to fade away, like a bad dream, because you simply must serve your beloved master, your merciful and devastatingly powerful god. That's who you really are.

[temporaryrose100]

You Try Something Of His. Bungou Stray Dogs X Reader

⚰️Dazai⚰️

•You has just walked into your and Dazai bedroom when you spotted on the bed was his trench coat and of course, you couldn’t help yourself. It was just too tempting not too. Next thing you knew you were stood in front of the mirror in Dazai trench coat.

Y/N: You know all I need now is some bandages and I’ve got my Halloween costume.

Dazai: *walks into the bedroom* Hey Y/N are you in h- *sees you*

Y/N: ...

Dazai: ...

•The both of you would just be staring at each other in complete silence. After what seemed like hours of just staring at each you saw a smirk appear on Dazai face and that when you regret even touching his trench coat.

•Dazai is teasing the shit out you. Even after you take it off. He‘a never going to let you live it down. He will tell everyone at work and even people on the street. You literally have to beg him to stop.

•Don’t let Dazai teasing get you down, he thinks you looked adorable and really hot too. Because of this, he wants you to try his coat more often. He’ll find excuses for you to put it on just to see you in it.

🍷Chuuya🍷

•You two were just on the couch cuddling while watching tv. Your eyes had wandered up to Chuuya and a smile made it’s way onto your lips when you saw his hat. You had quickly taken his hat off and placed onto your head. Chuuya noticed and turned to you and was about to say something but stop when he saw you.

Chuuya: Y/N what a- *sees you*

Y/N: *Gets up from the couch and goes over to the mirror and checks yourself out* You know Chuuya I finally see why you like this hat so much. It’s kind of stylish

Chuuya: ...

Y/N: Chuuya...? *tunes to him*

Chuuya: *face bright red and his nose is bleeding* H-hot

•Chuuya is so turned on. All he wants to do to you is push you on the floor and do whatever he wanted. But Boi can’t even talk without stuttering right now. He’s just into much shock.

•Now like Dazai, Chuuya will tease you just a little. He won’t go as far as Dazai and tell everyone. One because he wants to keep his private life private and two he didn’t want people to know how hot you looked. It for his eyes only.

📖Kunikida📖

•You wore his glasses. You didn’t really put them on they placed on by someone else. You were just finishing up some work when you felt something be placed onto your face. You stopped working and sat there confused for a few seconds. You then touched what was on your face and you instantly knew what they were and who they belong to.

•You turned and saw Dazai stood there with a smirk. Just as you were about to question what he was doing you saw your boyfriend Kunikida stomp his way over to Dazai and began shouting at the mischievous brunet.

Kunikida: YOU IDIOT GIVE ME BACK MY GLASSES!

Dazai: I don’t have them.

Kunikida: THEN WHERE ARE THEY!

Dazai: *points over at you*

Kunikida: *angrily tunes and before he could even get a single word out stops when he sees you*

Y/N: H-hey.

Kunikida: *silently stares at you with a small blush*

Dazai: *Walks away with a proud smile*

•Kunikida.exe had stopped work. To actually get him working again is to just put his glasses back on him and continue to work like nothing happened. Kunikida is a little sad that you took them off. Even tho he won’t say it out loud he loved the sight of you in his glasses and wishes he could see you in a little bit longer.

•Now Kunikida won’t tease, he wouldn’t even bring it up. Tho his mind might wander back to the time you had his glasses on. Now if you put on his glasses he won’t mind. All he’ll do is stare at you for a few seconds before letting out a small chuckle and taking his glasses back.

🐯Atsushi🐯

•You were staying at his for the night and you had forgotten your pyjamas. As you and Atsushi we’re trying to find something for you to wear your eyes wandered over to one of Atsushi dress shirts. You turned to your boyfriend and told him to found something but he needs to leave so you could change. Atsushi was confused but left the room anyway. When you put on his dress shirt it was surprisingly loose around.

Y/N: YOU CAN COME IN NOW!

Atsushi: *Comes into the room and when he sees you with his shirt on he faints*

Y/N: ATSUSHI! *Runs over to him*

•When he walks up he see you hovering over him with a worried expression his mind goes back to you in his shirt and he’s in a blushing mess and he feels his pants tighten. The way his shirt just looked huge on your body made he feel things. He can’t help it. He tries to hide it but you’ve already seen it and now you're a blushing mess.

•Now like Kunikida he won’t tease you. He’s not like that. Boi is too pure to even flirt with you what makes you think he could tease you. Every time he thinks back to the time where you wear his shirt he feels himself get a 🦴. He would love when you stay over to put one of his shirts on again. It makes him really happy if you do.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Meant to be (G.D.)

Summary: There is a reason why the road not travelled seems more appealing, why the past might trick us into believing if we had made different choices, or just done one thing differently, that our lives would be better for it. There is a reason they say ‘Careful what you wish for’ and Grayson is about to find out exactly what it means to have all his dreams come true. Question is, what’s the cost?

Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, sexual innuendoes, angst, fluff

Word count: 21k

===========================

Regrets are a weight on the heart and a curse on the mind. They bring out the past over and over again, always tormenting its victims with what ifs and promises of a better life. But it always comes at a cost, it always asks for a sacrifice. It drags its victim away from the beauty of their life, forcing them to wonder...

What if…

It's only two words, six letters, but they can change a person. ‘What if’ is a reminder of all the mistakes, of all the roads not taken and while they may not be as good as reality, one would always ponder on the possibility of something more.

What if...

What if..

What if?

For Grayson, his ‘what if’ had always been a little down the road, back when he was just a teenager and his choices were far simpler. Life was simpler, happier.

Becoming a YouTuber didn't entirely fulfill the dreams he once had. It gave him money, women, fame, but it took away his peace of mind and a quiet suburban life with the love of his life.

At least he found the love of his life. Or so he hopes. 

He's been wrong too many times before to dare say the L word now, but being with Ella feels right. Almost right. He'll never get his perfect life even if she is the one and it has nothing to do with her but the choices he's made before they ever met.

Too often would Grayson watch her sleep and question if he should feel guilty about his ‘what if’. Would she judge him for the inner workings of his mind? Would she feel like their relationship is a lie? Like she isn’t enough? 

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Her raspy voice brings a smile on his face and the thoughts aren't as loud as they were before. No one could ever quiet Grayson’s mind like Ella can. It’s as easy as breathing for her, a single look sent his way and Grayson couldn’t focus on anything other than Ella. 

"Some past choices." Grayson never lied to Ella. When they met, she demanded he be honest with her, always. 

Reluctant, Grayson shared his earnest opinions and in time, he realized Ella is right; honesty is the best policy. It helped their relationship develop on a solid foundation, allowing them to grow together. For once, Grayson didn’t want to date every girl with a heartbeat, his attention focused elsewhere - on Ella.

"Like what?" She tilts her head up, her chin resting on his chest and her brown eyes meet his, a look he always cherished. Ella was always quiescent, a snowflake that he protected with his life.

She had the kind of eyes that made a man weak in the knees and while she was bitter about the mundane color, Grayson never saw a more beautiful shade. There was nothing mundane about her.

"Like the time Ethan and I thought we'd go to that private school on a sports’ scholarship." Sighing, Grayson runs his fingers down her back, playing with the strap of her bra. It's black and lacy, the kind she'd wear to seduce him and yet she's not trying. Ella could sense Grayson needs intimacy, conversation, not sex. She knew him so well, read him like an open book.

"If you did that, you'd probably never be a YouTuber. You wouldn't have the money, the fame, the experiences you have now." Biting her lip, she pauses before speaking timidly, "You wouldn't have the people you have now." 

Swallowing thickly, Grayson noticed the sudden change in her demeanor, the flicker of hurt in those earthy hues enough to make him realize she's thinking of the possibility of them not meeting.

“You really think you can get rid of me that easily?” He pursed his lips, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as her expression dulled. 

Grayson wasn’t sure if he believed it, but Ella did and he had to remind her, to make her smile so he wouldn’t feel like he’s drowning in the unshed tears forming in her eyes. 

“You always say that people who are meant to be", Grayson starts and she rolls her eyes playfully, a small smile appearing on her lips.

"Will find their way in the end, I know." Groaning, she rolls on her back, her head resting on her pillow. 

Raising an eyebrow, Grayson moves to his side, towering over her with a lopsided grin. "Should I be upset you just chose your pillow over my chest?"

"Should I be upset you're thinking of a life without me?" She challenges, her left eye narrowing ever so slightly as she stares at him. It's as if she's daring him to move, to take these thoughts out of her head. After so many obstacles they’ve managed to overcome, she couldn’t help the hurt his admission caused. She never once thought about anything other than a life with him.

"I don't think of a life without you, Ella", Grayson's smile falls, his voice deeper, "I believe we would have met either way. You're everything", lowering his head on her chest, his hand rests on her stomach, "We are meant to be."

Fingers treading through his hair, Ella sighs, "I think you're wrong. To be meant for someone means more than just meeting each other. It's the circumstances, it's the experiences that have shaped your preferences and character."

"I'd still fall for your pretty eyes and crazy laugh", Grayson argues, his eyes focusing on the birthmark between her breasts, yet another thing she hated and he loved about her. That would never change.

"I'm not sure I'd go for a jock tho", she states and his head snaps up to meet her gaze only to notice her lips twitching in an attempt to suppress a laugh. Just as she sees the questioning gaze, Ella bursts into laughter, coercing Grayson to do the same. He loved her witchy like cackle she calls a laugh, it's impossible not to laugh when he hears it.

And so, with a laugh filled night, Grayson settles beside Ella as he drifts off. Her words run through his head, wondering if it's true. 

Would they still be together if he hadn't moved to Los Angeles to be an influencer?

As his consciousness fades, Grayson mutters under his breath, completely unaware that his life would forever be changed.

"I wish Ethan and I got the scholarship."

There’s a reason they say be careful what you wish for and Grayson was about to learn the hard way.

--------

"Ugh", Grayson moans, feeling like death. His head hurts, his muscles are aching as if he had run a marathon and his mouth is dry.

"Ella?" He calls out, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he rolls on his back, "Babe, I think I'm sick."

"You're not sick, you're hungover", Ethan chuckles and Grayson's eyes open wide.

"Fuck you talking about?" He squints and raises an eyebrow, noticing Ethan in a bed just a few feet away. His lips part, eyebrows furrowing as a faded scar between them becomes prominent.

"You drank a shit ton." Ethan reminds him, throwing a shirt his way.

Shaking his head, Grayson realizes it isn't a shirt, not when his last name is on the back of it right above a number.

"This isn't funny, E", Grayson breathes out, eyes fixed on the jersey in his hands. "Where is Ella?"

Sitting up, Ethan shrugs, "That the girl you were messing around with last night?"

Closing his eyes, Grayson feels his heart sink. "Messing around?" 

He wouldn't hurt Ella that way, would he?

"Since when do you even remember their names? What happened to hit it and quit it?" Ethan asks, standing up to grab his phone and Grayson scoffs.

"Now I know you're fucking with me, I'm a one woman man now. You know I'm with Ella. You can end the prank here because I really feel off." Grayson grimaced with the shooting pulsating pain in his head intensifying, wincing as he rubbed his temples to soothe the pain.

Ethan steps closer, concerned for his brother who is looking around the room with confusion. "Did you hit your head or something?"

"I dunno, maybe." Rubbing his forehead, Grayson sighs, "I have a major headache and I need Ella, okay? Where is she?" Standing abruptly, Grayson frightens Ethan into a backward stumble. "Ella?!"

"Fuck, I knew coach should have sent you to the doc!" Ethan runs his fingers through his hair, genuinely scared for Grayson.

Growling in frustration, Grayson reaches for Ethan, his fingers gripping the thin fabric of his shirt as he forcefully pulls him closer, "Cut the shit, where is she?! Huh?!"

Raising his arms in mock surrender, Ethan shakes his head, "I swear I don't know what you're talking about!" Eyes wide, Ethan pushes Grayson. It's not as forceful in fear of hurting him but enough to get the message across. "You never even mentioned an Ella before."

Releasing Ethan, Grayson stumbles back to the bed. Sitting down, a heavy sigh passes his lips as his eyes fall to his feet. His bare feet. "What the", pausing Grayson blinks fast, "Where's my Tame tattoo?!"

"Tattoo? You better not have a fucking tattoo!", Ethan rubs his chin, trying to understand what is happening. "I'M CALLING THE DOCTOR!" Rushing out of the room, Ethan slams the door behind him.

Lips quivering, Grayson takes his shirt off only to find his chest, his arms are void of tattoos. "No, no, no." Pulling his sweats down, he finds his legs just as bare, no ink he had invested years in. "No, NO, NO!"

Scrambling to the bathroom, he stops in front of a mirror only to find his hair is shorter, dark circles around his eyes are prominent and his lips chapped. Flashing his teeth, he finds no tooth gems, "Those cost a fortune!"

"Bro, we gotta get you to a hospital!" Ethan mumbles, running around to find something to wear while Grayson pales. His hands are shaky, his entire body trembling and he can't help but wonder if Ella was just a fever dream he had.

Or this is?

In what world does he still share a bedroom with Ethan? The tattoos, the gems, the jewelry! He didn't even have a hole for an earring!

And Ella? His sweet brown-eyed Ella with the heart of gold? What of her? If there's one thing he's sure of is that he isn't creative enough to dream up someone as perfect as her.

"C'mon, they'll do a CT as soon as we get in." Ethan waves him over, only then noticing Grayson is in his briefs. "Seriously?!"

Groaning, Ethan grabs him by the forearm and pulls him along, throwing clothes in his face.

"I know you're freaking out or whatever but we need to hurry! It's been a day since you took that nasty fall and I know you said you were okay but THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY!" Rambling, Ethan stopped. Taking a few deep breaths, he turns to Grayson with tears brimming his eyes. "You’re my brother and I can't lose you."

Nodding, Grayson presses his lips together. He'd argue, ask him if this is some elaborate prank again but it doesn't feel like one. It feels real and that is what scares him. So, reluctantly, Grayson does as Ethan says and he puts on the clothes, following him to the door.

He wasn't sure what to expect, but Grayson finds himself with raised eyebrows and a concerned look on his face once he sees the state of the house they're in. There are people lying around, red cups and beer bottles everywhere and he could have sworn he saw a few used condoms on the floor as well.

"Where the fuck are we?" Grayson whispers and Ethan pales.

"The frat house. We've lived here for three years Grayson!"

Running his fingers through his hair, Grayson has to suppress a groan as he realizes just how short it is. He's used to his floppy hair, it relieved his anxiety to run his hands through his hair and Ella loved to tug on his hair too. She never said anything about the length, so maybe it’s the feeling of her tugging his hair while he goes down on her is for his own pleasure, but he likes to believe she enjoyed it too.

"You said I hurt my head?" Grayson tries, hoping to understand.

"Yeah, during football practice yesterday. Ryan tackled you because you fucked his girlfriend."

Inhaling, Grayson's eyes widen, "The fuck?" 

So far, Grayson understood one thing: that he understands nothing.

-------

“All the scans came back clear. What kind of symptoms are you experiencing?” 

Grayson glances at Ethan, his mind torn. If he admits to what seems to be a crazy theory about him waking up in some hell dimension, the doctor might put him in the psych ward and throw away the key, but if he doesn’t and all the memories of his life and…Ella’s love are just a symptom of his fall, then he might deter the doctor from a proper diagnosis. 

But as Grayson swallows thickly, he shakes his head. Even if everything was a lie, a symptom, is who Ethan says he is truly who he’d want to be? 

From what Grayson gathered, he is a womanizer with no respect for women or their feelings, he’s an egomaniac and very likely has an STD by now. He sounds like a guy with commitment issues and a nasty personality considering he’s been sleeping with his friend’s girlfriend. 

“Just a headache.”

Ethan’s jaw slacks, his eyes narrowing at Grayson, “Are you sure?” He’s speaking from a confused, angered place and Grayson can tell Ethan is about to blow his cover. 

“I’m sure.” Grayson speaks through gritted teeth, his nostrils flared as he gives Ethan a pointed look. “I’m perfectly fine, just had a wild night and a nasty fall. I’ll take a few pills and be fine by Monday.”

“Alright. I’ll clear you to play next week, but keep the head safer next time.” 

A tight lipped smile on Grayson’s face did nothing to alleviate Ethan’s anger. He had brought his brother in for good reason and he just lied to the doctor’s face. Truth be told, Ethan is worried Grayson is having a psychotic break. Instead of ratting him out, Ethan decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and a single day to reassess the situation again. 

Once in the car, Ethan turns to Grayson with raised eyebrows. “Wanna tell me what the fuck that was about?”

Shrugging, Grayson swipes his thumb across his bottom lip, wincing as he does. “Do I have a busted lip too?” 

“Cut the crap, Gray, what the fuck is happening?” Ethan fixes his eyes on Grayson, refusing to start the car before getting a concrete answer to his many questions. “You’re acting like a totally different person. It’s like you’re an alien possessing my brother’s body and I don’t know who the fuck this Ella is but if she did some magic voodoo thing to you, we got a witch to burn!”

Gasping for a breath, Ethan stops but his eyes narrow as Grayson cackles at him and his rant. 

“THIS IS NOT FUNNY, GRAYSON!”

A hand over his chest, Grayson leans back. Attempting to stifle his laugh, he nods, “I know! I know”. Sniffling, Grayson lets out a long sigh before looking to his brother. “If I tell you, you’d think I’m crazy and I’m not! I swear I’m not!”

Licking his lips, Ethan leans back in his seat. Gnawing on his bottom lip, Ethan can’t help the curiosity bubbling up to the surface. Whatever it is, it can’t be that crazy, can it?

“If I promise to listen to you, will you tell me?”

Raising an eyebrow in surprise, Grayson shrugs, “Only if you stop freaking out too.”

“FINE”, Ethan exclaims just as Grayson finishes his sentence, willing to hear his side of the story.

“I think I’m in an alternative universe. Like something got fucked and I’m now in an alternative universe because where I come from we aren’t frat boys with a drinking problem.”

Clearing his throat, Ethan motions with his hand for Grayson to elaborate.

“We moved to Los Angeles in our freshman year of high school and did YouTube and we got famous and rich and I had the most beautiful girlfriend. I was with her and then I woke up here.”

Tapping his fingers on his knee, Grayson looks out of the window, biting his lower lip. “She, uh…She means a lot to me.”

“Okay.” Ethan states, starting the engine.

“Okay?” Grayson furrows his eyebrows, lips parted.

“Yeah, okay. I believe you.” Ethan drew his lower lip between his lips, tapping his hands on the wheel.

Leaning forward, Grayson’s frown deepens, “Just like that?”

“Look, I don’t know Ethan from your universe, but I’m a believer in alternative universes and I do think you’re not exactly my brother. He’s just…different.” Glancing at Grayson, Ethan sighs, “You two are very different."

“Alright, so you want him back, right? You’re gonna help me?” Grayson’s excitement is palpable, enough for Ethan to roll his eyes.

“No, I’ll leave him in an alternative universe with millions at his disposal while I deal with you”, Ethan states, the sarcastic undertones unmistakable. Grayson can’t help but snort, smiling to himself. Even in an alternative universe, Ethan is a sarcastic conspiracy theorist. 

“Any idea where we could start, genius?” Ethan snaps his fingers, irritated with Grayson’s tendency to get lost in his thoughts. 

Grayson’s face blanks, “No clue.”

“How about that Ella you keep mentioning? She your girlfriend?” Ethan doesn’t need to ask twice as he glances at the shit eating grin on Grayson’s face upon the mere mention of her name. “You say you care about her. Are you sure you’re not in love?”

Grayson licks his lips, “I don’t know. How does anyone really know?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious when you fall in love. If you can’t answer that, you might have never truly loved anyone.” Ethan’s words hit home. 

While it sounds callous, it’s also true – did Grayson ever really loved any of the girls he was with? They all seemed like the right one at some point. He told them he loves them, but did he really? In the end, they were all forgotten in a week or two, but Ella? He refused to tell her he loves her even when he thought he did. The word had become cheap, she deserved better ones. 

Is that love? Wanting to find better words to express your feelings? Words that are more than what most throw around like ‘Hello’? Words worthy of the way the mere thought of them brings a smile upon one’s face or their voice makes one’s heart race? 

“Have you ever loved someone?” Grayson asks, curious of his brother’s life. Even if he’s not his Ethan, he is Ethan. 

“Once. It didn’t last, but I did love her.” 

Figuring Ethan isn’t quite ready to talk more on the subject, Grayson decides to drop it. He shouldn’t upset him just for his selfish gain. “I think this happened because I wished to know what would have happened if we never went to Los Angeles and took the scholarships at that private school we were interested in.” 

He wished for his old dreams to come true, and they did. But at what cost?

“You wished for this?!” Ethan raises his voice, letting a little of his frustration out.

“I didn’t know it would actually happen!” Grayson defends, pressing his lips together once he realizes raising his voice isn’t going to do him any favors. “I’m guessing we took those scholarships in this universe?

“Yeah. We got into college on football scholarships but we play lacrosse too.” Ethan tells him, “Wrestling didn’t pan out as we wanted.”

“I met Ella in LA, so that’s probably why she’s not here.” Grayson rubs his temples, closing his eyes shut.

“So? Look her up. If she’s not a dream, she’s gonna be on social media.” Ethan suggests. 

Gnawing on the inside of his cheek, Grayson nods. His eyebrows furrow as he opens up Instagram on his phone. Typing in her username comes up blank. Typing in her name comes out blank.

"Why can't I find her?!" Frustrated, he hits the dash and Ethan huffs, not happy with the way Grayson is treating the car. It may be a flaming pile of shit, but it gets them from point A to point B.

"You're saying you dreamed up a girl you think is real?" Ethan’s not convinced Ella exists. If anything, he’s still a little weirded out with the idea of Grayson not really being his Grayson. He’s trying to believe it all, to trust him on his word and to trust his instincts screaming at him, but it’s hard. It’s really hard.

"She is real!" Grayson exclaims, half panicked as he’s beginning to doubt himself as well. What if Ella found someone else? If he wasn’t there that day they met, who was? 

Glancing at a frustrated Grayson, Ethan feels pity. He may not be his Grayson, but he’s still his brother. In a way. "Google her then."

"If her Instagram account doesn't exist, why would anything exist then? Huh?" What Grayson truly worries about is, what if something happened to her? Maybe she did exist at some point but doesn’t anymore?

"Maybe because it’s Google? Google knows all. If she’s not on there, she was a dream bro." Ethan reasons, parking the car. He turns to Grayson, watching him. Grayson’s pensive, filled with a thousand emotions he cannot put into words and Ethan understands him. He does. 

"Wait...She only got Instagram to follow me! She admitted that!" Grayson exclaims, a little too excited while Ethan remains unimpressed.

"Bro, I love you, but you sound douchier than usual." And that says a lot since he’s been dealing with his douche of a brother. His Grayson is the definition of a douchebag. 

"No, no, she really told me that. So...she wouldn't be in LA either because she said we inspired her to move to follow her dream which would mean she’s back home!" 

Raising his eyebrows, Ethan’s eyes widened, "We inspired her?"

"Yeah, she said if two snotty teenagers could move to LA and make it just by filming videos of themselves she could surely get her book deal." Grayson says it with a smile, feeling nostalgic.

Ethan snorts, "She sounds supportive."

"She really is though." And with that, Ethan notes how Grayson’s voice is warmer when he speaks of Ella. That’s definitely not his brother. His Grayson doesn’t soften up when he speaks about girls unless it’s about Gizmo, their pet bird.

"She’d never tell anyone about the book, but I know she’s been writing it since she was 16 and she actually sold it!" Grayson is also proud of her, boasting about it as if it’s his own success. Ethan can’t help but smile.

"So look for her with that info, you do know where she is from, right?"

"Michigan." The word barely passes his lips as Ethan punches his shoulder, "Owh, what the hell E?!"

"We are in fucking Michigan!" Throwing his arms in the air, Ethan shakes his head. The pent up craziness of the day is starting to drive him up the wall and he can’t even be sure what’s real and what’s not anymore. ”We’re literally Michigan Wolverines!”

"Seriously?! She might be in the same school then!" Clapping his hands, Grayson opens the car door. He jumps out, wildly looking around the parking lot, hoping he’d see her black hair swaying with the wind.

"You're giving me a headache, I hope she's nicer than you." Ethan mumbles, leaning his forearms on the roof of the car, his car door still open.

"You two have been iffy a bit, but you loved her E.”, Grayson turns to him, grinning, “You said it yourself, you love her like a sister but if she touches your vegan rolls again you'd burn the house to the ground."

Lips parting, Ethan’s nose crinkles, "Vegan? She can have them all, why would I fight her on that?!"

Drawing a deep breath, Grayson pinched the bridge of his nose, "Please don't tell me we aren't vegan."

"We are jocks, Grayson, chicken is our religion." Ethan reminds him as he closes the car door, locking it. Walking around the car, he chuckles at Grayson who grumbles about it.

"Just great."

Running a hand through his hair, Ethan averts his eyes to the ground. The pavement is still wet, a reminder of the stormy night from before. "Do I have anyone in your world?"

Grayson smirks, "An Australian model."

"WHAT?!" Ethan steps in front of Grayson, stopping him. 

"Yeah, my reaction too when she decided to date you." Grayson chuckles, amused with the shocked, slightly jealous expression on Ethan’s face.

"Bro, I want an Australian model!"

Laughing wholeheartedly at the whining, Grayson shrugs, "You have her. Well, the other you does."

Throwing his hands up in the air, for the second time in the past ten minutes, Ethan walks ahead, “Fuck this shit.”

Smiling fondly at his brother’s back, Grayson sighs, “At least I know you’re extra here too.”

“What?!” Ethan glances at him over his shoulder and Grayson shakes his head, “NOTHING!”

--

As days passed, Grayson realized one thing: time has its own flow and in that its own beauty, for no man can command it to halt, it can only pass with unique divinity. It’s only been a few nights since he woke up in this strange universe and while days were easy to survive as he spent them on the field and Monday brought classes, nights were much less forgiving.

He misses her – his Ella. 

Time, just as love, is unchangeable – it is there at the end as it was at the start and Grayson doesn’t know how to accept that he might never see Ella again.

He finds himself scribbling her name instead of class notes on his first day of college, attempting to draw her – but the shade of brown in her eyes is never quite right. No matter how hard he tries, nothing he draws will ever come close to the warmth and understanding her eyes and smile held. No one can ever replace the comforting relief that would wash over him whenever she would squeeze his hand or run her fingers through his hair. 

Simply, no one can compare to Ella. No one, possibly not even the alternative universe her…if she exists.

Sighing, Grayson leans back on the tree he sat under. He closes the textbook with her name written a dozen times to give himself reprieve. Being there without her is torment, a special kind of hell Grayson never dreamed he’d be stuck in. 

Ethan has helped him adjust as much as possible, but it seems as if he can never truly fit into this life.

This Grayson is a douchebag, whoring his way through campus with a bottle of tequila in hand and no one bats an eye as long as he scores the winning touchdown. His grades are an average C, but it took him less than a single day to find out it’s because the professors are giving him special treatment. He’s not exactly a model student and plenty of his classmates were surprised he even attended lectures today.

Closing his eyes, he tries to ignore the words in his head reminding him this is karma. He has done enough to get himself rejected from his own timeline and universe. 

Truth be told, he’s ashamed. He wasn’t much better before meeting Ella, either. He’d whore his way through Los Angeles, the difference being non-disclosure agreements he had the girls sign. He might have been sober, but he was drunk on adrenaline of fame that he had given into different obsessions. He became paranoid, mistrustful, hateful and treated his friends as if they owed him something for being a part of his life.

When Ella came around, he changed. It took a while, but Grayson thought he was finally worthy of her. 

Now? Grayson finally understands what she meant when she told him she might not like him as a jock. He didn’t like himself as a jock.

“Hey, six-pack?!”

Grayson’s eyes open wide, his breath caught in his throat as he recognizes that voice. Only one person he knows has that kind of a voice – a raspy voice that is the base of all his happy memories. 

And there she is, Ella – his Ella. Her long black hair is shorter in this universe, falling to her shoulders in waves. Her eyes are just as beautiful as he remembers them to be, like melted honey on a warm sunny day. Her lips are curled into a small smile, gentle yet cautious. 

“Ella?” He breathes out, his hands beginning to shake and she can tell. 

Ella raises an eyebrow, confused as to why would the cockiest man she ever met feel so nervous to see her. He seems to be shocked, maybe even relieved – a contradictory Grayson never was. Not to her knowledge. She always saw him as a one dimensional being – an asshole without a cause. 

“Wanted to bring this back to you”, she reaches into her backpack – a flower themed green backpack she had when they first met. 

Back then, she was but a stranger with a very pissed off look on her face when he slammed into her on the beach as he attempted to catch a ball Ethan sent flying way above his head. He remembers her yelling at him as if it were yesterday, but he also remembers her laughing when he asked for her number when she was done with yelling, breathless. He bought her an ice cream and apologized and ever since then, Grayson never looked at another.

Ella tosses a jersey in his face and Grayson quickly stands up, holding the jersey in his hands. 

“Wait, how do you have this?” He looks at the number – 33 – his number.

Raising both eyebrows, Ella’s eyes widened for a split second, “Wow, you were really drunk off your ass that night, weren’t you?” Leaning in, she steps on her tiptoes as Grayson holds his breath, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that Grayson Dolan actually did something decent for a change.”

She turns on her heel, taking a few steps further before Grayson’s senses return to him. “Ella, wait!”

“And he remembers my name? I’m impressed!” She giggles, not even turning around as she heard his heavy footsteps just behind her. “Though I don’t remember telling you my name.” That’s when she stops, hands on her hips as she looks at Grayson who looks like he’s lost. “How do you know my name?”

“How do you have my jersey? I asked first”, Grayson reminds her with a lopsided grin and she purses her lips to stop a smile from spreading. While Ella might not be Grayson’s biggest fan, she’s not blind – he’s extremely good looking.

“The other night at the party mean anything to you?” She raises an eyebrow, waiting for Grayson to respond but he just shrugs, a red tint slowly coloring her cheeks. It’s not something he’s used to as Ella was always tan from the LA sun, but she’s much paler than usual.

“Some asshole pushed me in the pool and my shirt got wet and it was very see through. I panicked and ran and stumbled upon you and for some reason you weren’t an asshole about it and lent me the jersey without even trying to stare at my boobs.” Licking her lips, Ella narrows her eyes at Grayson, “Which was very weird, are you alright? Nobody's body snatched you?”

Chuckling, Grayson shakes his head, eyes fixed on Ella. He can’t look away, not even if he tried. “I’m trying to be better.”

“You? Better?” Biting her lower lip, Ella steps closer, “I really wanna believe that”, her raspy voice is like stardust to Grayson. 

He loves hearing her talk, words are her finishing touch to the emotions she usually suppresses but only ever shared with him. It took forever for her to open up to him, but even then it wasn’t as often. So yes, Grayson wished he could tell her how much he would like to listen to her talk. It doesn’t matter what’s it about – something, nothing, he just wants her to talk to him.

Taking her hand, Grayson hears her gasp. He places her palm on his chest, right above his heart. “Please do. I need you to believe in me.” His lips are parted, his eyes clinging to her like a dying man clings to his last breath and she’s looking back at him, her hand is touching him and she’s not fighting the touch.

Until she breaks out in laughter, “That’s a good line! Do you use that on all your little flings?” 

Stepping away from him, she bites her lower lip, almost disappointed. “Don’t spend your best lines on me, Quarterback, I’m not easily swayed and my heart is taken by someone else.”

Sobering words splash into Grayson’s senses as if they were icy water. “Someone else?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna leave you before someone spreads unflattering rumors about us.” Turning away, Ella takes three more steps before glancing at Grayson over her shoulder. She doesn’t know why she did it, but something inside her told her to look back, to stay – even if it’s for a moment. 

“Thank you for the jersey, Grayson. I’ll remember that.”

And as Grayson stood there, watching Ella leave, he reminded himself that everything he wants is on the other side of determination and consistency. He would show her he’s redeemable and he would win her over. It doesn’t matter what universe he’s in, there is never a time he won’t want her – her light, her kindness, her approval. 

Even if everything's made to be broken, Grayson needs her to believe in him. He needs her to know who he is. 

--

“Sometimes I wonder why I’m with you”, Ella huffs. Arms crossed she rolls her eyes at Grayson before laughing, “Your decoration skills need serious improvement!”

“Ah, you got me worried for a moment”, Grayson reaches out for her. Grabbing her by the arm, he pulls her into his lap.

Chuckling, she wraps her arms around his neck, “Why?”

Licking his lips, Grayson looks down, “Because I wonder why you’re with me.”

“For the same reason you’re with me”, she explains and he furrows his eyebrows as his lips form a tight line. The reason he’s with her is because his soul never felt more at home than when she would wrap her arms around him.

“Boobies?” Grayson teases, earning himself an eye roll.

Cupping his left boob, Ella exclaims, “Yes! Yours are almost as big as mine!”

“Idiot!” Grayson grumbles under his breath. Looking back at it, he knew it was a perfect chance to tell her what she means to him and how grateful he is for her presence but he didn’t. He made it into a joke to hide just how much he needs her and she didn’t deserve that. She deserved a man who could speak his mind and share his emotions, not a coward he turned out to be.

“Awee, you’re not an idiot”, Ethan mocks, “Especially not if you help a brother out.”

“I’m not telling you her name, Ethan.” Grayson turns to his other side, determined to salvage what’s left of the night. He couldn’t sleep, not after knowing his Ella hates him. But is she his? How can she be his when she loves someone else? How can she be his when this Ella hadn’t ever been in his arms? Even if she was, she would be the other Grayson’s Ella. Manwhore Grayson’s Ella. Frat boy, jock’s Ella.

It leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth. The idea of her with someone else, even another version of himself isn’t easy to stomach.

“But she’s my girlfriend!” Ethan exclaims, throwing a sock at Grayson’s head. A smelly sock.

Covering his nose, Grayson tosses the sock back, “Not in this world she isn’t.”

Flipping Grayson off, Ethan groans. “She could be, ya know? She could be my girlfriend!”

Rolling his eyes, Grayson turns to his back, “Chasing someone else’s love story isn’t exactly something I’d recommend to you.”

“Wouldn’t the other me want to be with his girl in every universe?” Ethan challenges and Grayson raises his eyebrows, “You’re trying to find your girl in this universe, why don’t I get the same courtesy?”

Pressing his lips in a hard line, sadness clouded Grayson’s features, “Kristina Alice.”

Gasping, Ethan’s phone lights up as he searches her name only to sit up once he sees her photo, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHE’S MINE?!”

“YuPP”, Grayson closes his eyes, “Good luck getting her to accept your request.”

“Thanks”, Ethan smiles as he hits the follow button on her Instagram page, desperately hoping she would soon accept his request and he could send her a message. Maybe he has a shot after all.

“Just shut up and let me sleep.” Grayson covers his head with a pillow, turning to the other side where it’s colder.

“What if”, Ethan begins as Grayson groans loudly. Those two words are the last ones he wants to hear. Ever.

“I need to sleep!”

“Sure, but hear me out”, Ethan springs from his bed and sits on Grayson’s, “What if you being here means my brother, real brother, is also in a different universe?”

Uncovering his face, Grayson’s eyes widen as he sits up with a thundering heart, “Like in my universe?”

“Dunno, but I don’t think he would just disappear. The whole laws of physics wouldn’t allow for that to happen. If energies cannot be created or destroyed, perhaps souls can’t either. Maybe he’s in your body or in another universe and that universes’ Grayson is in your body? Maybe all the Grayson’s have switched places?”

Hand on his heart, Grayson could feel the cold sweat forming at the back of his neck, “I’m gonna be sick.”

“You think it’s possible?” Ethan raises his right eyebrow, genuinely curious.

“If it is, some other guy is with my Ella right now and he could be fucking up my life as we speak.”

“Well, depending on the definition of ‘your life’, he could be fucking your life right now.” Ethan’s insinuation didn’t help Grayson fall asleep that night.

If it’s true, another version of him might be holding Ella tightly against him as she unravels under him. Another Grayson, possibly even the manwhore Grayson he’s occupying could be both abusing the privilege of being intimate with Ella and breaking her heart by being intimate with other women in front of her.

Laying awake, staring at the ceiling, Grayson met dawn as an old friend. Dawn signified a new start, a day full of activities that would busy his mind with anything but some look alike hurting the lov…His Ella. Besides, he was looking forward to the day as he planned on seeing this Ella as well. He can’t deny the pull, the gravitational change he feels when he’s close to her. She may not be his Ella in every sense of the word, but she is Ella and she is the light in this darkness.

Morning practice went by fast, allowing him to exercise some of his demons, but it isn’t enough. In the back of his mind is an image, one that is enough to enrage him – an image of his lookalike in bed with his unsuspecting Ella.

Inhaling, he closes his eyes as he settles under the same tree he sat at yesterday. Holding his breath, he waits for the burning sensation of his lungs as they scream for oxygen. Reluctant, he releases the pent up air in a slow exhale.

“Since when is this your hangout place?”

Eyes snapping open, Grayson’s lips part with the familiar raspiness in the voice. “Ella?”

“Still my name”, she smiles before sitting in front of him, book in her hand.

“Sorry”, he breathes out, attempting to smile but he didn’t know if he should smirk or grin and ended up grimacing more than smiling.

“Don’t be. It’s not like the tree has my name on it”, she shrugs as she opens up her book and he frowns, confused.

“What do you mean?”

Pointing to the tree, “It’s my spot. Has been since freshman year and suddenly you’re here.”

Making an ‘O’ shaped face, Grayson’s heart skips a beat. He didn’t even know why he sat under this particular tree, but it was calming him. It felt cozy, safe, a place to gather his thoughts. Upon further evaluation, this tree wasn’t entirely different from other trees, but he chose the same one two days in a row and he had a sneaky suspicion Ella is the reason why he was drawn to it.

If there is no magic in the world, how is he in this universe? If there is no magic in the world, how did he meet her again? If there is no magic in the world, why would he sit under this tree?

Smiling, Grayson realizes – magic exists. Maybe it’s not in the obvious witchy way, but it’s real. Ella made him see that.

“I’m sorry if I was ever a jerk to you.” Gnawing at the inside of his bottom lip, Grayson noticed her surprise when he spoke up, more so with what he said.

“Save your apologies, Quarterback. You weren’t a jerk to me.” Forcing a small smile, she clarifies, “You weren’t anything to me.” Tucking her hair behind her ear, she feels her heartbeat quicken as his eyes remain on her. She could see the genuine emotions swirling in his hazel eyes and it caught her off guard. It’s as if he actually means it.

“Look, you’ve been pretty shitty to a lot of people and you’re worshipped regardless. But if you want to be better, you have to take baby steps. It’s never easy to change once you’ve left people with a certain idea of who you are.” Licking her lips, she sinks her front teeth into her bottom lip. 

Averting her gaze to the book in hand, she tries to hide how his unrelenting gaze is making her nervous. It’s an effort to stop herself from tapping her fingers on the book or to stop herself from running away to take a proper breath she can’t seem to take ever since she decided to sit there. Somehow, Grayson causes a panic in her, not one associated by fear. It’s more about the implications of his longing stares and uncharacteristically kind words.

“Can I start with you?” Grayson leans closer, minding the way she blinks faster as he does as if his proximity is making it harder for her to ignore the need to stay close.

“Why me? What’s so important about me?” Her question catches him off guard and it reminds him of his Ella and the insecurities she always tried to hide. Maybe they’re not so different after all.

“Because I think highly of you.”

Scoffing, she looks away but Grayson can’t ignore the blush spreading across her cheeks. “You don’t even know me.”

“I’m an observant person. I know more than you think and I’m not asking for you to be my friend but maybe a tutor? You could help my grades and my stupid mouth when it goes off?”

Narrowing her eyes at him, Ella’s confusion is stronger than before. No matter what she heard of Grayson, he didn’t seem as bad as people made him seem. He’s trouble, she’s sure of that, but he’s also lost. A part of her wants to help him find what he’s looking for, to help him…fix him, but if she does, she knows she might find herself in dangerous territory. 

Grayson Dolan seems like a guy one would easily fall for, but he also seems like the guy who’d break her heart. Can he even break a heart that’s not his to begin with?

“Tutoring sounds fine.” She speaks, finally breaking the silence and Grayson’s lips stretch into a wide smile on instinct.  “But only tutoring and it’s not for free. I expect you to do something for me too.”

“Anything!”

Drawing a deep breath, she wonders if this is wise. It could backfire in the worst possible way, but she can’t help herself. She has a unique chance to do something she always wanted, “I need you to be my fake boyfriend for a month.”

Inhaling sharply, Grayson exhales, “Huh?”

Rolling her eyes, she leans closer, “I want to make a guy jealous and who better to do that than the Quarterback.”

Grayson’s heart sinks with her words but he finds himself nodding. It might be the worst thing to agree to but it would put him in her orbit and it would give her a chance to see who he truly is. She might fall for him in the end.

“Alright. Let’s do this.”

--

“So you’re just gonna fake date your girlfriend?” Ethan cocks an eyebrow, a little confused and uncertain of the benefits this deal could possibly bring his brother.

Shrugging, Grayson runs his fingers through his hair, attempting to put in the effort to make himself look somewhat presentable. “Yeah. It’s not much, but I’m willing to go through with worse if it means I get to hold her hand at the end of the day.”

“What if her plan works and she actually gets with the person you’re supposed to make jealous?” Raising both eyebrows, Ethan flicks Grayson’s ear, “You’ll be worse off than before.”

“It won’t happen!” Grayson exclaims, trying to not murder Ethan. “Fake dating trope always ends with the two realizing their feelings and marrying each other.” 

Smiling at his reflection in the mirror, he nods to himself. It’s the first time in a long time he gave much thought about what he should wear or what his hair looks like but it’s for a good reason. He has to impress Ella. 

“We’re soulmates, E. I know it.”

Huffing, Ethan rolls his eyes, “Chances of that being an actual thing is slim, but let's face the facts. Even if you’re soulmates, you two aren’t necessarily meant to be in every single universe. No one can have their happy ending in every universe. Maybe consider this universe is the one where you don’t get the girl.”

Hands on his hips, Grayson turns to Ethan with a stiff upper lip, “Is this really about me and Ella or about the fact Kristina didn’t accept your follow request?”

Rubbing his forehead, Ethan groans, “Maybe, but it’s a possibility?! I don’t want you to end up with a broken heart if this doesn’t work out. Just…Don’t forget this isn’t your life, okay? What happens when real Grayson comes back and he’s suddenly in a relationship? He’d break Ella’s heart.”

“What if he never returns and I’m stuck here forever? I can’t and will not give up on Ella. Manwhore Grayson needs to man up and I’m preparing the turf in case he returns to this life.”

“Manwhore Grayson?!” Ethan chuckles, “That’s actually who he is. Cameron calls him that!” Wheezing, Ethan throws himself on the bed, hugging a pillow.

Grayson watches, stifling a laugh, “Bro, I wanna smack him so bad!!”

“Get in line! At least half the female population wanna smack his face and the other wants to smack his ass!”

Pursing his lips, Grayson exhales through his nose, or he tries to. It’s been hell living in a body with sinus issues again and he envied whoever is in his body for the ability to breathe freely and without suffering after he had suffered all the pain of two surgeries and multiple rounds of antibiotics.

“Well, I’ll be going then. Don’t wanna keep my girl waiting.” With a lopsided grin, Grayson heads to the door when Ethan speaks up.

“Do you think this would classify as cheating? I mean, she’s Ella but she’s not really your Ella, right?”

Licking his lips, Grayson’s heart sinks. Ethan is right, this Ella might look like his Ella, have her soul, but her personality might be different. So far, Grayson noticed three differences: her ears are pierced though his Ella was terrified of the very idea of having them pierced, she doesn’t seem to wear the red lipstick he loved to smudge and she had black nail polish but his Ella prefers pastels.

Shaking his head, he remembers how it felt to imagine her with manwhore Grayson. It doesn’t feel right and his Ella would probably hate him for this, but something inside him is insisting he must see it through. “I’ll see you later.”

--

Holding his breath and waiting for inevitable doom. This is what Grayson feels like. It’s as if this entire universe is made to torture him. Sure, he wasn’t the best person alive in his universe, but he wasn’t evil either. A part of him couldn't shake the karma aspect of this switch – what did he do that was so bad to warrant a karmic intervention?

“Hey!” Ella’s usual raspy voice is a little higher, pitchy, enough to make Grayson smile. She’s nervous and he’s glad he’s the one that made her nervous. It means she cares, however small it may be.

“You look”, pausing, Grayson raises his eyebrows as his eyes trail down her body, “Incredible!” He lets out a breathless chuckle, watching her cheeks darken. She’s definitely nervous.

“So, uh, what do you need help with”, Ella licks her lips, tucking her hair behind her ear as her eyes fix on his hand. “Are those….flowers?” Raising an eyebrow, she stifles a smile as Grayson fidgets, scratching the back of his neck.

“Yeah…I wanted to do something nice.” Holding the flowers out, he watches her lips twitch as her attempt to keep a smile at bay slowly fails.

The corners of his lips turned up in a slight smile as his eyes dropped to the floor, a strangely demure gesture for him, Ella realized. As he looked back at her, moving his hair back with his hand, Ella was momentarily swayed by the dark brown eyes that sparkled up through long, dark lashes that she never noticed before. Perhaps she allowed herself to send a few glances his way in the past, trying to understand why so many girls ventured into his web, and she never quite understood until now.

The way he looks at her as if she’s the source of sunshine in his life, the way he smiles as if her presence sparks joy in his heart and the way he had held her hand over his beating heart had disarmed her and she hated herself for it. 

She fell for his charms and silver tongue as many have before and she likes him. She does. It’s impossible not to like a man as magnificent as Grayson – no matter how messed up he is. 

There will always be a girl willing to stay way too long in hopes of fixing him. He’s a death trap for every woman who looks into his eyes.

“Lilies?” Careful, she reaches for the flowers. Her fingers curl right above his, avoiding touch and the electrifying feelings it could bring to the surface. Ella preferred not to know.

“Your favorite”, Grayson blurts out, his mouth faster than his brain and his eyes widen as Ella’s eyes narrow at him.

“How would you know?”

Hands trembling, Grayson shrugs, “A lucky guess. You’re not a rose kind of a girl because you think roses are cliché.”

Eyebrows furrowing, Ella’s frown deepens, “That sounds more like an educated guess.”

“Am I wrong?” Grayson cocks an eyebrow, his confidence growing as she purses her lips, eyeing him as if she’s reconsidering her previous judgment of him.

“I hate the thorns too”, she states matter of factly, turning her back on him. Glancing over her shoulder, she raises an eyebrow, “Coming? Or am I supposed to take your exams for you, Quarterback?”

With a lopsided grin, Grayson follows after, relishing in her sassy attitude. She must know how it affects him, draws him in. If anyone could tell him to get over his shit and act like a normal human being, it was Ella. Of course, his Ella took a while to open up in a way where she didn’t mind her tongue. His Ella is shy until one gets under her skin, a little more insecure. This Ella is a firecracker from the start, brazen.

For a moment, he feels guilty for liking that about her. He feels guilty for liking this Ella, but it’s still his Ella, is it not? She’s just got a different life experience. 

--

For the first time in his life, Grayson couldn’t stop staring. He was good at hiding his feelings, pushing down anything uncomfortable until he could ignore it, but he couldn’t do it. Not anymore. He sought her out even when she wasn’t close, he yearned for her shy smiles and annoyed eye rolls. He missed each time she’d glance his way and swiftly look away or the way she’d use her hands when she talks about something she’s passionate about. He wanted to see her hands when she’s talking about him, to be passionate about him – with him.

For the first time in his life, Grayson found himself chasing after a girl. She’s out of his league, he’s aware of it. She’s wife material and he isn’t sure he could settle down any time soon, but waiting too long might mean she’ll find someone who is ready for all the things he’d like to have with her. Because no matter how scary it seems to commit when he’s unsure if he’s able to love someone, losing the opportunity to find out seems scarier.

For the first time in his life he wanted to reach out and ask her to hold his hand, to look at him the same way she looks at puppies because he only ever saw her look at them with love. He wants to hear her laugh at his jokes and he wants her to call him out on the shit he does and hold him accountable. He wants her to make an effort because she thinks he deserves to be saved, that he can be fixed. Maybe he should fix himself before asking her to love him, but she makes it better. With her, he finds all he thought he lost before – the will to try and do better.

“Are you okay?” Her voice catches him off guard, her eyes gentle, softer than he thought they could be. 

“You seem a million miles away”, she brushes over the part where he stared at her and he’s grateful. She could have called him a creep and walked away, but she didn’t. Instead, Ella reaches out, her hand resting atop of his and Grayson releases a heavy sigh, as if the weight of the world didn’t press on his chest anymore. It’s as if a single touch of her hand had made him whole.

“I feel better now.” Grayson musters a smile, “You make everything better.”

For the second time in his life, Grayson finds himself staring. Blinking seems so unnatural when his eyes are focused on such beauty as if a single moment lost would prove to be deadly. Not looking at her would make him crumble, blurt out the truth of who he is and how scared he is and how badly he needs her to hold him and say things will be alright. But she doesn’t.

For the second time in his life, Grayson found himself wishing for a girl to hold his hand, to tell him he’s worth saving. He wants her to smile and blush like she did when she brought his jersey back to him. He wants her to roll her pretty brown eyes and chuckle at him, but she doesn’t.

For the second time in his life, Grayson is wondering if he’s able to commit to anyone. Is he any better than the manwhore version of him from this alternative universe? 

He’s sitting next to a woman and he craves her attention and approval as if he doesn’t have a woman who offers all that and more. 

Does it really give him any reprieve if they’re the same soul cultivated in different universes? 

Perhaps she’d think it’s cute she captured his attention even in a different setting? Would Ella feel hurt or betrayed if he admitted he likes this version of her, as well?

“Are you okay?” Ella’s raspy voice catches him off guard, not just the sound, but the choice of wording. It’s the orotund tone she uses too; a little uncomfortable, lacking the softness his Ella would use with him. “You’re kinda staring and zoning out and I’m trying to explain this in the easiest way possible.”

Licking his lips, he nods, more to himself than her as he realizes this Ella and his Ella are definitely not the same person. Perhaps they look alike, but his Ella was kinder in a sense. Maybe kinder isn’t the proper word, but empathic?

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just have a slight headache.” Pushing his hair back, he clears his throat, “So, uh, there’s a game this Friday.”

“Oh”, her eyebrows raised, Ella tilts her head slightly to the left, waiting for him to explain.

“Well, we’re dating, fake dating and girlfriends usually wear their boyfriend’s jersey’s on the day of the game”, swallowing thickly, Grayson draws in a quick breath. “Would you maybe wear mine?”

Furrowing her eyebrows for a moment, Ella’s face relaxed again as her eyes fell to Grayson’s shaky left hand. Reaching out, she takes his hand in hers. Her grip is firm, certain, no doubts as she gives it a squeeze. 

“Yeah. It’s not like it’s my first time.” Letting out a breathless chuckle, she shrugs, “And we did agree. So, I’ll wear your jersey and you pass this exam tomorrow.”

“Deal.” Grayson smiles as she purses her lips, but his smile quickly falls as she lets go of his hand and turns to the notes. She held his hand, but it’s not nearly as long as he wished for her hand to linger.

“Oh, wow, it’s true.” Someone speaks from behind them and Grayson frowns, turning back only to see a blonde, tall guy with a smirk plastered on his face.

“Danny!” Ella exclaims, jumping to her feet and straight into this guy’s arms.

Grayson’s eyes narrow as he looks how low his hands rest on Ella’s back, more so as the guy’s green eyes pierce him. He’s sizing him up just as much as Grayson’s doing to him. So, Grayson stands – letting him have something to size up. They may be the same height, but Grayson’s muscular, much more than him.

“So you’re really dating the Quarterback? I thought it was a joke.” Danny chuckles, his arm around Ella as she shifts uncomfortably at his words.

“Why?” Grayson raises an eyebrow, “She’s a beautiful, witty, intelligent woman. Any man would be lucky to have her.”

Smiling, Ella looks to Danny who nods, “Yes, I wasn’t demeaning her by asking. I’m saying I’m shocked she’d stoop as low to date you.”

Escaping his embrace, Ella steps away, “What the fuck, Daniel?”

Rolling his eyes, Daniel clicks his tongue, “Oh, come on! He’s whored his way through campus, you’re probably the last one he didn’t bag. He’ll use you and cast you aside, Ells. Men like him can’t commit.”

Chuckling from frustration more than finding anything amusing, Grayson steps closer to Ella, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Sounds like you know the type, Derrick.”

“It’s Daniel”, he corrects Grayson, visibly annoyed.

“Sure it is, Dario.”

Nostrils flaring, eyes narrowing, Daniel clenches his fists. “You can’t seriously think Ella is stupid to fall for your tricks.”

“Ella is right here and she’s perfectly capable of making her own decisions”, Grayson remarks, stepping in front of her, “Imply she’s stupid again and I’ll knock you on your ass so fast you won’t know what hit you.”

“Gray”, that’s when he feels it – her arms wrapping around him, her hand over his heart. “Please calm down, please.” Her head rests on his back, her hold on him tightening.

Softening at the sound of her frightened voice, Grayson steps back. “You’re lucky I value her good opinion more than your jealous remarks, Dicky.”

“It’s Daniel!” Raising his voice, Daniel shakes his head. “Ella, come on. Let’s go watch that movie before I lose my temper.”

Lips parting, Grayson glances at Ella who is blinking fast, biting on her bottom lip anxiously. “I think I’m gonna stay.”

“Seriously?” Daniel frowns, his green eyes fixed on her.

“I think I need some time away from you to reevaluate our friendship.” Ella states, her voice shaky and Grayson feels her body begin to shake as well.

“What?” Pointing at Grayson, Daniel speaks, “This is his doing! He’s manipulating you!”

Shaking her head, Ella seems to be lost. After years of liking this guy, she’s only now wondering why. “No, he’s not. You’re the asshole here. Your behavior toward my boyfriend is telling me I need to step back and create some distance because if you’re incapable of trusting I can make my own choices, I can’t trust you either.”

“He’ll break your heart.” Daniel states and Ella lets out a breathless chuckle.

“Maybe. But it’s my heart to break.”

And that’s when Grayson felt his heart break a little too. When he looks at her, he sees her heart is already cracked from this altercation. Daniel had been the culprit, but he feels responsible.

Walking away, Daniel doesn’t spare the pair a second glance. Ella’s quiet, holding onto Grayson. He can see she’s struggling to hold her tears at bay, but she’s successful. “We should review this part once again.”

“You don’t have to be brave with me.” Grayson tries but she waves him off.

“I’m fine.”

She’s not, but she can’t talk about it. Breaking down in tears isn’t exactly what she wants around Grayson. She’s hurt, confused and angry, but none of those emotions will help her. She wanted to make Daniel jealous a little, make him see what he could have if he stopped friendzoning her, but she didn’t expect him to disrespect her or say hurtful things about Grayson, as true as they may be.

“I’m fine”, she repeats before letting out a shuddered breath. “So, how did you get this result?”

Knowing better than to push her further, Grayson swallows thickly and plays along, taking this time with her as a chance to help her clear her head. His Ella always worked herself to the bone when she didn’t want to think about something, maybe this Ella needed the same. If she’s anything like his Ella, she’ll open up when she’s ready and for now, Grayson has nothing but time.

--

“Hey”, Grayson comes up behind Ella, making her gasp.

Slapping a hand over her mouth to hold in a shrill scream, she turns around only to whack Grayson with her free hand. “Jerk!”

Raising his hands in mock surrender, Grayson’s mouth curved into a smile. “I wanted to hug my girl, not my fault she’s a scaredy cat!”

Rolling her eyes, she takes a step closer so he couldn’t miss her glare, “I prefer not to have Quarterbacks giving me heart attacks. A warning would have been nice!” Her voice is tremulous, her hands still shaky.

“I was gonna offer to walk you to your dorm”, Grayson’s smile falls as he realizes he truly did scare her which wasn’t his intention at all. He didn’t see her that day more than a few times in passing, so he got excited for a moment of her time finally seemed to be open for him to claim as his.

“Just don’t sneak up on me when the sun is going down, okay?” Ella crosses her arms over her chest as she looks left to right before her eyes set on Grayson who pales, realizing his mistake.

“Oh, shit”, he pinches the bridge of his nose, frustrated with himself. Who the fuck goes up to a girl in an empty street at dusk? Idiots like him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”

Cracking a smile, she nods, “Yeah”, exhaling loudly, she points ahead, “I live about ten minutes that way.”

“You’re letting me walk with you?” Grayson’s eyes widen, a little too excited and Ella could tell. 

“It’s getting dark and you’re kinda big and scary looking to potential killers.” Ella shrugs, “I don’t mind a bodyguard right now.”

The corners of his mouth turned up, licking his lips quickly before taking her hand in his. He noticed her tense up, but she didn’t fight his touch. Her hand felt sweaty, but he held on tightly as if it were his safety rope and letting go would mark him for death.

“Do you believe people can really change?” Grayson wonders out loud, hoping Ella would show some signs of changing her opinion on him. She let him hold her hand, isn’t that progress?

“I believe some people are beyond help.” Ella sighs, glancing up at Grayson whose face fell with her words, “But I don’t think you are. If anything, you feel like someone I’ve known my entire life and I know it’s insane but I feel like I trust you more than I should.”

His heart fluttered with her confession, acutely aware it means he has more of a chance than he originally thought.

“I feel the same way”, Grayson admits, “You’re like coming up for fresh air, like spring after a long winter.”

Beaming, she fanned herself with her free hand, “I - that was - uh, that was really poetic”, Ella stumbled over her words, unable to form a coherent sentence and she never realized how much Grayson affected her. She may have been attracted to him before, but she couldn’t pretend she didn’t like him now that she got a chance to see what’s behind his popularity façade. 

“You make me feel poetic”, Grayson’s husky tone made her simper, looking away as heat rushed to her face.

“Wow, okay! A silver tongue charmer.” Ella stops, stepping in front of Grayson with a coy smile dancing along her lips. “We’re here.”

Pressing his lips together, Grayson looked at the walls of the building with slight frustration. He wished they had more time to talk, it finally felt like he made progress.

“If I say I wish we could spend more time together, would you hold it against me?” Ella raises her eyebrows expectantly, her defenses lowered.

“I could come in”, Grayson gave her a half smile, one she could bask in all night long if she would just ignore the little voice in her head reminding her how dangerous Grayson Dolan is to her heart.

“It would be a bad idea.” She lets go of his hand, licking her lips. “Maybe another time.”

Nodding, Grayson sniffled, his allergies making his nose runny. “I swear I’m not crying, I have allergies!”

Giggling, Ella smirks, “Sure. And here I thought you were having a hard time parting with me.”

His smile fading, Grayson’s face loses the usual lightheartedness, “I always have a hard time parting with you.”

Knitting her eyebrows, Ella’s lips part, “You’ve just met me five days ago.”

Shrugging, Grayson steps back, “Feels like a lifetime.” Nodding over to the front door of her dorm, he manages a small smile, “Go in, I’ll wait till you’re inside.”

Licking her lips, she exhales loudly. She takes a few steps away, her back turned on Grayson. Stopping, she glances over her shoulder at him - standing there with the sun setting behind him, a picture perfect man with his hands in his front pockets and she felt breathless as she took him in. Shaking her head, she rushed toward him. With her hands on his shoulders, she stood on her tiptoes until her lips pecked his cheek - fleetingly, feather light kind of a kiss that nearly stopped Grayson’s heart.

“I’ll see you soon”, she told him before she ran to the door. She stopped as her hand gripped the metal handle, looking back at him with a grin and Grayson knew he was in trouble - he liked this Ella, a little too much.

--

Grayson rarely felt as confident as he did when he was on the field. The screaming crowd always gave him enough of an ego boost to run on for a couple of weeks after. It’s been a long time since he was on the field, much too long not to be anxious about it, especially when he knew his teammates weren’t exactly friendly with him at the moment. Apparently if you sleep around with their girlfriends behind their backs, they might end up resenting you for it. Yet another thing he could thank manwhore Grayson for.

The game isn’t the only thing making him nervous. Ella wearing his jersey meant they would officially claim their fake dating trope and knowing she might not be entirely into the idea had left him wondering if he’s forcing it on her.

A part of him wanted to hold her hand and ignore the sinking feeling and insecurities, but another part of him lived to see her smile. Her smile had made all the difference in the world. Instead of responding to the constant wave of girls trying to flirt their way to his pants, he only cared for one smile, one pair of eyes, just one girl who could make him swoon.

“How do we do this?” Ella frowns, looking at the door. She’s nervous, he can tell. All the classic signs of his Ella are there – biting her lip, crossing her arms at her chest only to tap her fingers on her forearms, blinking fast. She needed reassurance, Grayson simply wished to provide her with it when he placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in.

“Oh”, she exclaims, caught off guard. “Didn’t realize we’d go for the half embrace, jersey on the special game kind of a walk, but sure.” With a tight lipped smile, Ella made the first step toward the door and Grayson followed.

Far too happy about the initial few gasps upon their entrance, Grayson grins. It’s official now, he’s staking his claim and taking charge and Ella is once again his. The girls whisper about as they walk past them, the guys spare no attempt to hide their wandering eyes from taking in the girl that made a guy like Grayson Dolan fold and commit.

“Don’t you two look lovely”, Ethan winks as he crosses their path, suppressing a smile as Grayson’s shit eating grin grows wider if that’s even possible.

“Your brother seems to be happy with our endeavor”, Ella notes. “Almost as if he knows the truth.”

“He does, but he’s also a sucker for romance. Says this is how most books start, but they never end this way.”

Raising an eyebrow, Ella cranes her neck to better look at her so-called boyfriend, “And do pray tell, how do they end?”

“A wedding.” Grayson chuckles, leading her to her first class of the day.

Stopping, Ella untangles herself from Grayson’s side almost instantly, leaving Grayson with a frown paired with a pout she found almost endearing

“Good thing we’re not in a book.”

Nodding, Grayson purses his lips, “I guess so. Wouldn’t be the worst thing though.”

Furrowing her eyebrows, Ella narrows her eyes ever so slightly. “What do you mean?”

A small smile plays on his lips, one that is near her as he leans in. His lips brush her earlobe and she holds her breath, her heartbeat skipping as he whispers, “There are worse things than having you as a wife.”

Swallowing thickly, Ella watched him step back with a cocky smile, praying her cheeks aren’t red. But they are. Her cheeks seem to know no other color but red when Grayson is close by.

“I’ll see you for the game, alright?” Grayson presses two fingers to his lips only to rest them back on hers, “Call me if you need me.”

And so, as he walked away, Ella remained rooted. For the first time in a long time, she fully understood what all those girls saw in this frat manwhore and it concerned her greatly to know he could disarm her so easily and she allowed it to happen. What upset her further is that she wished it had been his lips atop hers, not just his fingers.

As the day continued, such as they always do, Ella found herself thinking back to moments spent with Grayson and it only amplified her curiosity. The Grayson she heard of felt entirely like a fabrication at this point. This Grayson, dare she say – her – Grayson is much better than anyone gives him credit for.

In the time spent together, she had come to see him as a flawed human being, but one who is learning from his mistakes and rectifying them. It’s not impossible for her to truly care for him if he continues down that path. Perhaps in the near future, she wouldn’t care about the dashing Daniel she was so enamored by. Perhaps Grayson could be the one she desires after all. 

There are worse fates than a wedding, she thought..

--

Grayson would like to say he didn’t miss Ella, but he’d be lying. No, he doesn’t mean this Ella, rather his Ella. He tells himself he needs to let go of her, of the softness in her raspy voice whenever she speaks to him or the flowery scents she’s obsessed with, but he cannot reconcile the possibility of never seeing her.

Could he truly fall for this Ella and accept his Ella is to be lost forever? Can he surrender and learn to live in his new life as if he had never known the tender kisses she’d leave on his jaw or the way she’d trail his tattoos every morning after making love. She’s the reason why he stopped calling it fucking or sex. Ella is why it became something more. How can anyone top that? Even if it’s another version of her, what if Grayson never moves on?

“You good?” Ethan smacks him on the back and Grayson’s breath leaves him. Eyes wide, he nods, inhaling sharply.

“How big is this game?” Grayson wets his lips, finally hearing the cheering from the stands as he comes closer to the tunnel. Ethan shrugs, swiping his thumb just under his bottom lip.

“Career defining. We have scouts watching us tonight.” Ethan frowns, “If you wanted to fuck up our lives, botching tonight would be a fucktastic way to do it.”

“Great”, Grayson releases a heavy sigh, “No pressure then.”

Rolling his eyes, Ethan places his hands on Grayson’s padded shoulders, “Look, you’re not bad. You’ve been busting your ass in practice and you’re in shape, so just remember the plays and we’ll be good.”

“I’m the fucking quarterback, E. Why didn’t you take over for the night?”

Narrowing his eyes ever so slightly, Ethan gives Grayson a pointed look, “Because I have faith in you.”

“Somehow that makes it worse”, Grayson shakes his head, lips pressing into a thin line.

“Ella’s watching. Impress the girl and scouts and you’ll be on top of the world.”

And with that, Grayson put his helmet on and rushed onto the field with the rest of the team. He didn’t know what would happen, but he knew he had to try. If he doesn’t try, what’s the point? Life is about trying, again and again. Maybe some things are far too broken to be fixed, but he can piece himself up into a man every version of Ella would be proud to call hers.

Taking his position, Grayson scanned the stands quickly. His eye caught the empty seat where Ella was supposed to be and his heart sunk. She didn’t come.

Drawing a deep breath, Grayson swallows thickly.

“She’s with the cheerleaders!” Ethan shouts and Grayson’s head whips around to the cheerleaders only to find Ella waving at him.

A grin forms on his face as he waves back, wishing nothing more than to hold her in his arms. He really needs her tonight and maybe he can’t love her like he should, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her at all. This Ella, his Ella, any Ella – this woman’s soul is meant for him as much as his is meant for her. Just because he’s not the Grayson who gave her the jersey she ended up bringing back to him, doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy being the Grayson she likes. And she likes him – Grayson can tell.

Once the game started, Grayson had realized one thing - football is the way his entire being sang - a kind of music played in a way only the players and fans could hear. It was as if it is his opera, a tale of emotions told in struggle for the chance of earned glory.

Nothing could lessen the adrenaline coursing through his veins – not the mud, not the pain of being tackled nor the way he swore he’d pass out from all the running and shouting. Each time he managed to bring that football over the line, Grayson looked to Ella who jumped in excitement as if she actually cared about the result.

Deep down, Ella did care. It meant a lot to Grayson, not just winning but his position and popularity all stemmed from his ability to run with a ball without getting a concussion from a tackle. Every time he was on the ground, Ella had to physically restrain herself from running to his side. It hurt her to hear his pained grunts and for a moment, she cursed the moment she decided to ask her roommate to get her down to the field with the cheerleaders. She cashed in a favor to be closer to Grayson, regardless of the result and somehow she ended up getting a closer view of each time he was viciously brought onto the ground.

By the end, Grayson scored the winning touchdown and the crowd went wild. There isn’t a soul in that stadium that could deny the game was one of the best they’ve seen and no one doubted Grayson Dolan is a quarterback meant for much more than college football.

She saw him take his helmet off, the sweat matting his hair onto his forehead. The smile upon his lips felt like the sun itself shone upon her, especially when his hazel eyes found hers.

Fighting off his teammates' attempt to pick him up and carry him, Grayson ran straight toward her.

Ella heard about it, read about it – that moment when time seems to stop and you’re caught in between heartbeats and your breath is caught in your throat. Her heart is only human, flawed and frail and it feels as if it would give up on fighting to keep up with her emotions that explode inside her as Grayson comes closer and closer until she finds his arms around her waist and her feet off the ground.

She’s above him, her hands wrapped around his neck, fingertips buried in the hair at the back of his head. Her forehead rests atop of his, her smile as wide as his and for a moment, she throws caution out with the wind. Grayson spins them around, a throaty chuckle escaping him and his sweat doesn’t bother her even as she feels him soak her clothes. She doesn’t care about the people watching or the flashing cameras and she could care less about what anyone thinks about how odd of a pair they seem to be.

In the moment, she realizes he had wrecked her plans. She wanted to use him to gain Daniel’s affection, but he’s surprised her once again and he’s her man -  at least for the night. Ella had learned one important thing – Grayson is full of surprises and she wouldn’t mind discovering every inch of his complicated mind.

Without a warning, she leans down – stealing the few inches of distance between them. Her lips press against Grayson’s who freezes with the action. His facial features are heaven to Ella’s heart and soul, but she could be so happily mesmerized by those lips for all the days heaven grants her to come.

No longer stunned, Grayson’s dry lips join Ella’s in the public display of affection he certainly didn’t expect. In that moment of the kiss their chemistry becomes an ever-bright flame no one could deny, not even Ella.

And a sobering thought reminded her this might be just another kiss for Grayson. He may be handsome and charming, but there is a reason he’s also known as a manwhore and that thought makes her dread the future she could have with him. No matter how hard she tries, all she can see is heartbreak and he’d be fine – she would be the one to suffer, grieving for the living. He’s put roots in her heart and yet she can’t allow for them to grow.

Breaking the kiss, she draws a shuddered breath as her eyes remain closed for a moment longer. She just wants to remember it – the way he had made her feel like she’s whole, at home. It’s always going to be their first kiss, and if Ella had anything to do with it, it would be their last as well.

“Go”, she opens her eyes only to be met with his lopsided grin and a new kind of glow to his beautiful eyes. He looks blissful.

“Come with me”, his voice is hoarse, desperately holding onto her. But the moment’s passed, he can’t keep her a prisoner in his embrace forever. Grayson puts her down, his hands moving from her hips to her hands, barely holding on by their fingertips.

“You have a whole team waiting on you, a bunch of reporters and I know there are scouts who would love to talk to you. I’ll see you in the morning for our tutoring session if you don’t oversleep.” She chuckles, trying to hide how shaky she feels on the inside. Somehow, telling him to go felt deeper than that and she could see Grayson pick up on that too.

His forehead wrinkles, his eyebrows furrowing as he steps closer and she finds herself breathless. Wasn’t he close enough?

“You’re more important. Say the word and we can go anywhere you want.”

She could hear him clearly, feel the earnest tone of his voice in her bones. He seems to care about her but that promises nothing. Grayson is dangerous in the kind of way that would leave her desolate and wounded for years to come. Daniel is the safer option. The jealousy he displayed was enough to confirm her suspicions of him liking her back and she had to choose the lesser evil.

“Be by our tree in the morning and don’t leave me waiting too long, okay?” She smiles, trying to reassure him and yet his heart aches.

“I won’t drink. I’ll be there.” Grayson places a kiss on her forehead, a long lasting kind of a kiss that somehow felt more intimate than the one they shared minutes ago.

“Stay safe”, she steps back and as their hands part at the fingertips, Grayson swallows thickly. A part of him screamed at him to stay, but the other part could see Ella needed to be alone. He needed to respect her desire for space even if it hurts him.

--

Grayson honored his promise not to drink even a single drop of alcohol, despite peer pressure. He had decided that while Ella may have wanted to go home earlier, it didn’t mean he couldn’t come by and wish her a good night. Truth be told, he’d have traded the night for a moment with her, but he couldn’t destroy a life that isn’t his – not really.

He did manage to secure a few tryouts and summer program offers for himself, but when the talks were over, Grayson hit the showers and headed straight to Ella’s dorm room. 

He had one simple thought in mind – he’d admit he likes her and take her reaction for what it is. She may care for him or she may not, regardless of the outcome Grayson refused to cower and hide his feelings.

Maybe that’s why it shattered him so when he had seen her lip-locked with someone else. 

Lips parting, he felt himself sway as the gravity of the moment tore into him. She had taken his heart and she broke it apart, shredded the last bit of sanity he clung to. It feels like death, just the same as bereavement and in this quiet moment as he’s unable to avert his gaze it chokes the breath from his body and short circuits his mind. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace now there is emptiness, echoes of a love he put his everything into.

Stumbling back, clutching his chest, Grayson walked back to his room. He can hardly remember how he got there, but he knew that he never missed his old life more. 

Ella was right, she’d never fall in love with a jock. She’d never fall in love with him in this life. 

While she was always in his head, even when he was scared to death to admit to it, Grayson seemed to be an afterthought in her head. 

He’s no longer afraid to admit the one truth he never told anyone – Grayson Dolan is wholeheartedly in love with Marizella Coleman, hopelessly hers in every universe he finds himself in.

There isn’t anything left to cling to, yet he can’t help but whisper her name under his breath – over and over, Grayson repeats her name like a lullaby until he finally falls asleep. 

--

“What exactly does this mean?” Ella traced a moon tattoo on Grayson’s chest, her interest piqued. It took five months for her and Grayson to get intimate, two more before she broke out of her shell and truly embraced that Grayson is hers. 

When she first met him, Grayson was lost. His priorities were all over the place, his mental health at an all time low and his bed was occupied by a different girl each night. 

It bothered her how careless he was with his mind and body, even more so by the fact that she wanted to give him her heart. But she bore witness to his ability to break hearts and she didn’t want to be another one in the line. 

If she was honest with herself, Grayson didn’t even know she existed. Not until he nearly knocked her out on the beach while chasing a ball. She knew him before he ever knew her and that made her careful, paranoid in a sense. If all those beautiful women couldn’t make him stay, how would she, an average girl next door, ever keep his interest long enough for him to see that she’s perfect for him?

“Nothing, it’s just pretty.” Grayson murmurs, wishing he could just wrap her up in his arms and forget about the world for the day. 

“You don’t get a tattoo because it’s pretty, Grayson”, Ella’s croaky morning voice forced his eyes open and a smile to form on his lips. He truly loves the sound of her voice more than the bird’s song.

“It’s my aesthetic”, Grayson’s cheeky smile makes her roll her eyes.

“Well then, I really shouldn’t show you the tattoo of my first boyfriend’s name then, should I?” She shrugged, turning away from Grayson who sat up quickly, his eyes wide and body rigid.

“I’D HAVE SEEN IT BY NOW”, Grayson exclaims, his voice penetratingly loud so much so Ella could hear Ethan grumble from his bedroom.

“It’s not easily noticeable”, Ella chuckles as Grayson’s jaw clicks, “But it’s my aesthetic, so it’s nothing. Maybe we can name our first born like that so it doesn’t go to waste”, she glances at Grayson with a coy look in her eyes, finding him heaving and ready to throw hands.

“Over my dead body”, Grayson growls, pulling her back to him as she yelps. Her laugh drowns out her scream as Grayson pins her down to the mattress beneath him, his hands firmly holding her by the wrists.

“Whatchu’ gonna do, big boy?” She teases him as he cocks an eyebrow, pursing his lips.

“I’ll make sure you scream my name so many times that no one ever comes to your mind again.”

--

Ella didn’t have any tattoos, but Grayson sure had fun finding out on his own. That was the first time she was no longer timid around him and he absolutely loved her teasing. Grayson didn’t enjoy remembering his Ella as much as he used to. Every memory brought him pain now that she was gone; that both of them were gone.

Avoiding Ella had become second nature and it wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be. 

Waking up earlier to get to practice first, leaving last had given him no time to ponder on his broken heart. He’d arrive last and leave first during classes, avoiding the tree he had met her by twice so far. She did text him, leave a few voice messages as well, but Grayson didn’t bother checking what they said. 

Why torture himself further?

However, he forgot one simple fact about Ella that seems to be universal – she’s stubborn and that stubbornness had led to him finding her asleep with a book open on her chest right before his bedroom doors.

“Jesus”, he whispers under his breath, dragging his right hand across his face before resting his hands on his hips. Licking his lips, Grayson lets out a heavy sigh, unsure what to do. He can’t be around her anymore, not when he had a taste of happiness and lost it. 

He held tightly to her because she’s Ella – because her soul speaks to his, because even in the darkest nights she would be his compass. But this Ella isn’t his Ella, she’s never going to be his Ella and he hoped he’d somehow convince himself she is. 

Truth be told, he didn’t know what he was thinking when he got involved with her. She had no recollection of their time together in his universe, she had no obligation to care about him and his feelings. She barely knows him and what she knows is scarcely him and mostly the Grayson that belongs in this universe. 

Reluctantly, Grayson taps her shoulder. She flinches, the book falling with a thud as her wide eyes fix on his figure and that’s when they narrow and set aflame.

“Where the hell have you been?!” She stands abruptly, pointing the tip of her index finger at his chest, “I’ve been trying to reach you for a week!” Poking his chest, her nostrils flare, “I thought you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere!”

Wrapping his hand around her index finger, Grayson encases her entire hand along with it. “I’m sorry, I needed time.”

“Time? Time for what?” She frowns, the horizontal line between her eyebrows forming. 

“To make my peace with you and Kenny”, he sighs. He watches her face change from a frown to disbelief and when she rolls her eyes, he knows she’s annoyed with him.

“It’s Danny and he’s not my anything.” Placing her free hand on his cheek, she cocks her head to the left ever so slightly, “He’s not even a friend anymore. I don’t give a shit about him.”

“So why was he kissing you on game night?” Grayson counters, lips pressed in a thin line while hers part.

“Were you stalking me?”

Shaking his head, Grayson releases her hand while dragging the other one away from his face. 

“No. I wanted to see you and I did. With him.” Clenching his jaw, Grayson felt a wave of jealousy wash over him and it didn’t help that Ella had chuckled dryly.

“He kissed me and I was shocked but I pushed him away. And I told him I’m taken.” Licking her lips, she averts her gaze to the thread hanging from his sleeve. “By you”, she continues, “I told him you’re the one and I went inside and went to sleep.”

“You chose me?” Grayson releases a shaky breath, unsure what to do. “You can’t choose me, Ella.”

Furrowing her eyebrows, she steps back, “Oh! You don’t like me?” She swallows thickly, folding her arms across her chest. In all the scenarios she had made up in her head, him not liking her back was never one of them. It mortified her how silly she must look to him.

“No, no, I do!” Grayson stops her before she spirals, cupping her cheeks gently, “I like you, if I’m being completely honest, but I’m not…” Closing his eyes, Grayson smiles in disbelief over what he’s about to say, “You’re gonna think I’m crazy, but I have to be honest.”

“You’re scaring me”, she says softly, her voice shaky. 

“If I told you I’m Grayson from an alternative universe and that we’re a couple in that universe, would you believe me?” 

Her breathing becomes softer, the pensive look melting into a smile as soft as the morning light. “Okay, that’s cute, but I don’t think it’s time for jokes.”

“You started writing a book when you were sixteen and you never told anyone.” Grayson states and she stumbles back, eyes wide. She had never spoken aloud of her book, never once. That book remains in a locked folder on her old laptop, not even she had laid her eyes on it in two years. She gave up on it completely. 

“How?”

“You absolutely adore the ocean and believe you were a mermaid in a previous life.” Grayson continues as Ella pales.

“You’ve always hated coffee, but if you have to drink it you add half a cup of milk and four sugar cubes.”

Shaking her head, she runs her hands through her hair, unable to comprehend what Grayson is saying.

“You’ve always been terrified of the dark, so you sleep with a pink turtle nightlight you’ve had since you were ten. You have a beauty mark between your breasts you absolutely hate and are insecure about, but I find it sexy as hell.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THAT?” Ella shouts in panic, her breathing labored. 

“Because I know you. From a different universe, but it’s you. And I love you. With all my heart and I know this is crazy, but I woke up here and everything changed overnight.” Slumping to the ground, Grayson hides his face in his hands. “And I fucking miss her. I miss my Ella so, so much and I have never been worthy of her, but she loves me anyway and I’m here.”

A hand on his shoulder makes his heart skip a beat, bearing her weight as she uses him to slide to the ground next to him. 

“What is she like?” Ella’s shaky hand slides down his arm, slipping into his hand. She’s quiet, defeated by the news, in shock if she’s entirely honest. It’s way too much all at once and she never thought it could be possible she’d like Grayson Dolan so much it hurt to imagine him with anyone, even if that someone is herself.

“She sold that book and is writing a second book while studying. And she’s kind, witty and shy but incredibly outgoing with people she’s comfortable with.” Grayson doesn’t even notice the smile on his face as he speaks of his Ella, but this Ella does. She’s jealous of her alternative self for having a guy like Grayson smile as he mentions her. She hates her other self for being brave enough to publish the book and live her dreams...well, old dreams. She’s not dreaming about being a writer anymore.

“I love her, but I was afraid to tell her that. I was afraid of fully committing myself to her.” Grayson admits, unsure what good it does him now.

“When did you wake up here?” She interrupts him, wanting to know what was him and what wasn’t. Has it always been this Grayson? Did she spend all this time falling in love with the wrong guy?

“Woke up with a killer headache after some frat party. Think it was that party when he gave you the jersey.” Grayson glances at her, noticing a small smile upon her lips.

“So it was him then”, she sighs. Leaning her head on the door, she closes her eyes. “But all of this was you.”

“Yeah.” Grayson intertwines their fingers, seeking comfort. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be”, Ella shrugs, “That Grayson wouldn’t have bothered with me.”

“That Grayson is a manwhoring mess.” Grayson chuckles, “But I was the same before I met my Ella. Maybe he just needs a nudge in the right direction.”

“Is it bad if I wish you to stay here?” Ella’s voice is quiet and wobbly, just above a whisper and it catches Grayson off guard.

“Is it bad if I say I fell in love with you just as I fell for my Ella?” Grayson counters and she lets out a breathless chuckle.

“It’s not bad, I mean I’m still Ella. Just on a different path in life.” Shrugging, she leans her head on Grayson’s shoulder, “Maybe that Grayson is you on a different path too? Maybe he doesn’t need an Ella of his own?”

Wrapping an arm around Ella, Grayson brings her closer to him, “Every Grayson needs an Ella.”

And in the silence, they found the comfort they both seek. It’s not right, but it felt perfect.

“You two are gloomy.” Ethan states, scaring them both. They were perfectly content staring at nothing in particular, just sitting there with the inner struggle wrecking them apart.

“You should wear a bell”, Grayson remarks and Ethan rolls his eyes.

“When you say shit like that, I genuinely can’t tell the difference”, Ethan steps aside, trying to get to the door.

“Does he know?” Ella asks and Grayson nods.

“Yeah, he’s the only one who knew.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Ethan glares at Grayson, “So you told her?”

“Yup”, Ella exclaims.

“Great!” Ethan opens the door, letting the pair fall on their backs with a string of curses from Grayson’s mouth and a small yelp from Ella’s. 

Grayson barely got up to his feet, helping Ella up as well when Ethan screamed, “KRISTINA FOLLOWED ME BACK!”

--

Laying on the bed with Grayson beside her, Ella wasn’t sure what to think anymore. Part of her thought she’s insane for believing him so quickly, yet another part of her knew with absolute certainty that no one couldn’t know the details he mentioned a few weeks ago and that if he knew them, the other version of her must have truly loved him to spill the beans.

Ever since then, they’ve been inseparable. Ella knew it was unwise to spend so much time with Grayson, to get involved more than she already has. One day, she’d wake up next to the other Grayson and she’d be left alone. It would be over before it started and she didn’t know how to accept the fact he’s never going to be hers. Not really.

“What are you thinking about?” Grayson breaks the silence, noticing she’s deep in thought.

“About the day I wake up to the other you.” She admits and Grayson frowns, propping himself up on his elbows. He’s never going to get used to how straightforward this Ella is. He both loves and fears that about her.

“You think it’s gonna happen?”

Nodding, she sighs, “I just feel it. It’s unexplainable.”

Swallowing thickly, Grayson licks his lips, “If it does, don’t give up on me.” 

Grayson’s eyes flicker to her lips only to pull away before he dares to even think about it further. They may be spending all of this time together and sleep in the same bed most nights, but they’ve never once kissed since the night of the game. Ella said she wanted to give her other self some much deserved respect and not cheat though she wasn’t sure if it qualified as cheating either.

“You? That won’t be you, Gray.” Ella rubs her nose, sniffling. “He won’t be you, just like I’ll never be Ella for you. Which sucks.” Tears brim her long eyelashes, tugging at Grayson’s heartstrings.

“You are Ella. Even though you’re a little braver and confident, you’re her and she is you.” Grayson tries, but Ella shakes her head.

“No. That’s not true! I don’t have her memories or experiences and that’s what shapes a person. That Grayson won’t be you and truth be told, I’m not sure if I want him at all.” Sitting up, she hides her face in her hands.

 “I’m not braver either, I’m just rougher around the edges. I could never publish that book like she did or move to Los Angeles and date a famous YouTuber.” Breathing fast, Ella felt like her head would explode.

“Hey, hey, hey”, Grayson says softly, his hands running up and down her back in hopes of soothing her. “Ells, what’s wrong?”

“Everything!” She exclaims, “I want you and I can’t have you! I can’t be with you when you’re already mine but in a different world and even if I ignore that, I can’t ignore the fact that sometime, even ten years down the line I could wake up to the other Grayson instead of you and it’s making me crazy!”

Wrapping his arms around Ella, Grayson held her close as she wept long into the night and he had never quite understood all the stories of the way your entire being hurts when your heart is broken and his heart is fucking shattered.

He’s holding the reason for his existence in his arms and he can’t ease her pain because he’s the cause of it. He wants to love her and she wants to love him back, but they can’t and Ella is right – even if he ignored the fact he’s not from her universe and went for it, there was no telling how long he’d be there.

In a spiritual life, much like the physical, there is an inhale and an exhale; the soul needs to inhale the feelings of another soul in order to claim them, to enrich them before returning it in an exhale. Without this, there is no life for the heart, without it, the heart is suffocating, suffering, withering.

And that’s exactly how Grayson and Ella feel right now – suffocating, suffering, withering.

As her breathing evens out and Grayson realizes she’s fallen asleep despite the occasional sob she lets out in her sleep, he looks up at the ceiling and sighs heavily as if the world’s weight is crushing him.

“Please make this right. For her sake. I don’t even care what happens to me, just make Ella happy again. Please.”

And when Grayson closed his eyes, he never imagined it would be the last night he spends in her bed.

--

With closed eyes, Grayson reached out for Ella. He didn’t remember when she slipped out of his arms in the night, but he wouldn’t consciously keep it that way. Having her close felt like a lifeline for Grayson, even if they were trying to keep it platonic. Too often did he consider just moving on with her, pretending as if his life is in a universe made not for him.

He wanted to stay and help Ethan get with Kristina, to help his sister start her own design company if she was still interested in that field or to simply go home and see his family. He wondered far too often how they were, but he never dared to ask Ethan about it. It’s a sore subject for Grayson, even now. He imagined it was the same for Ethan.

“Ella?” He grumbles, squinting to find her when his arm fails. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looks at the much larger bed he’s on with a concerned look upon his face. “What the –“, he starts only to recognize the bed-sheets Ella spent three days making a pro/con list for. “Oh God”, Grayson jumps to his feet, looking around wildly.

The lamp next to his bed is replaced by an old alarm clock, his windows are covered with drapes he doesn’t remember having and the floor is covered in clothes Grayson never saw in his life. Looking down, he finds his thighs are covered in tattoos and a choked sob escapes him.

He’s not sure if he’s happy or not about the possibility of being in his own universe again. There is still a chance he’s in a new universe altogether, but even if he’s back home, what exactly is he coming home to? What exactly did he leave behind?

That Ella must have had a shock of a lifetime when she woke up to the manwhore version of himself and he wished he could apologize to her for it, but he’ll never get to see her or talk to her again.

And then he remembered, “Ella”, he breathed out as he ran to the door. He’s not sure if she’s even there, if she even stayed after the switch brought his worst self to her bed and he realized his Ella had woken up to that Grayson too.

Heart in his throat, Grayson stumbles as he heads to the kitchen where he hears movement. He isn’t sure what is waiting for him here, but when he sees the messy bun he always loved to untangle and the back of her neck that he loved to kiss, Grayson felt his heart stop.

Swallowing thickly, he stood there, frozen at the sight of her. She’s so close that he could have her in his arms in a few steps, but would she forgive him if he told her he kissed the other Ella? Would she forgive him if he told her he had started liking the life he had in that universe?

Wetting his lips, he lets his heart guide him as his feet take him closer and once he’s there, his arms wrap around her on instinct. His head rests on her shoulder and he can feel her tense up, but he’s barely holding back tears as he inhales her familiar scent.

Grayson missed Ella in every possible way. His soul yearned for hers and being back in her presence had made him crumble.

“What are you doing?” She groans, trying to unwrap his arms from around her waist. “I told you I will never sleep with you!” She raises her voice as she slaps at his hands and Grayson finally snaps out of it, releasing her.

She whips around, eyes narrowed at Grayson who furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Pointing the tip of her index finger at his chest, Ella’s nostrils flare, “You have to stop this! I’m not a toy you can play with whenever you feel like it. I’m in pain!” She exclaims, pausing as she averts her gaze and her hand drops, “Do you even know what seeing you feels for me?” She sniffles as tears fill her eyes. “You’re wearing his face and body, but you’re too different. You’ve become better, you’ve done the work, but I love him. I can’t just forget about that.”

Drawing in a deep breath, Grayson felt his heart break further. It never occurred to him how hard this might have been for his Ella. She was stuck with the manwhore who would have broken her heart and he did. It was a relief she knew it wasn’t him, at least. His Ella knew better than the other Ella.

“And I love you”, Grayson manages a smile, “I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you.”

“What?” Ella crosses her arms, looking at him as if he’s offended her.

“It’s me, Ella. I’m back.” Grayson tries reaching out for her hand only to have her shake her head and move away. She’s physically revolted by his presence while he’s aching for a smile from her pressed lips.

“You’ve tried this before. I’m not going to fall for your shitty tricks”, Ella heaves, a hand placed on her chest as her tears spill over.

“He tried this?!” Grayson practically growls, slamming his fist on the countertop. “Did he touch you?” Grayson’s jaw clenches as he looks to a shaky Ella who isn’t sure what to say or believe anymore. It’s like she’s drowning with no help in sight.

“Please stop”, she croaks, “I thought you and I were friends now.”

Chuckling dryly, Grayson shakes his head, “Your pet fish was called Goldie because she was gold. Your turtle Rocky bit her tail off and she died.” Stepping closer, he points at her chest, “You have a birthmark right between your breasts.” Pursing his lips, he wonders what else he could tell her. Her eyes are wide, glistening with tears, but he has to let her know it’s him. “When we first met you called me and Ethan snotty teenagers. You hate my decorating skills and you hate my snoring.”

“Grayson?” Her voice is shaky as she steps closer, reaching her trembling hand out. Her palm finds its way to his cheek and Grayson leans into it with a soft sigh. “You came back to me?”

Taking her face in his hands, he rests his forehead on hers, “I did.”

“It’s been so hard”, she whispers and he closes his eyes.

“You were right, you know?” Grayson’s nose brushes hers, “You wouldn’t like the jock Grayson. But I really liked college Ella.” 

Grayson often debated if he should be honest with Ella if he somehow made his way back home and despite his doubts, he remembers their relationship is founded on honesty. He promised her he’d always tell her the truth and he couldn’t look her in the eye and ignore the fact he had felt a little heartbroken about the Ella he left behind.

“You met me?” She steps back, wanting to look at him better.

“I’ll always find you”, Grayson smiles.

“You fell for her, didn’t you?” Ella steps back, hurt flashing behind her brown eyes.

“I did fall for her”, Grayson admits, “But I love you.”

Staring at Grayson, Ella didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to feel either. Would she be right to hold it against him? After all, it was still her. Grayson loved her, in every universe. So why does it feel like he had cheated on her? Why does her heart bleed?

“Did you touch her like you touch me?”

Breaking eye contact, Grayson leans on the countertops, “I kissed her once.”

“Once”, Ella chuckles dryly. “I almost had sex with the other you, but at least I didn’t know the truth. You knew the girl you were kissing wasn’t really me. She’s someone I will never be and she will never be me.”

“Please don’t hate me”, Grayson croaks as tears form in his eyes. He’s not ready to lose her, but he’s not ready to keep her with him by lying. She deserves better and he knows that.

“I don’t hate you, Grayson”, she lets out a shuddered breath, “I wish I did. It would be easier.”

“Easier?” Grayson’s eyebrows furrow when she takes her bag and puts it over her shoulder.

“I need some time and I need you not to look for me.” It was killing her to do this, to take a step back from their relationship. Ella needed some perspective, to find a way to breathe again and being close to Grayson always felt like she was trying to keep her head above the crashing waves.

“Ella”, Grayson reaches for her but she recoils from him, again. She had done it once when she thought it was his other self, but she knew this was him. She still didn’t want him.

“I have never asked anything from you, but I need this.” Ella covers her mouth to stop a sob from passing her lips as she turns from Grayson and heads for the door only to run into Ethan and Kristina.

Kristina is quick to wrap her arms around Ella, both of them leaving through the front door.

But Ethan wasn’t leaving. He turned to Grayson with a stone cold look in his eyes and headed for him with a formed fist prepared to leave a mark.

“What did you do?!” Ethan shouted, ready to lay Grayson out in a single punch.

Raising his hands in mock surrender, Grayson circles the countertops so he’d be on a different side from Ethan who wanted blood.

“Whoa! It’s me, E! It’s Grayson! I’m back!” Grayson insisted as he ran in circles with Ethan, “YOUR FIRST TIME WAS WHEN YOU WERE 17!” He shouts and Ethan stops, eyes wide. “You also drank a beer when you were 16, but you’d never admit it. You hated onions as a kid!”

“Grayson?”

--

“How cool was the other me?” Ethan smirks as Grayson rolls his eyes, unsure if he should be annoyed or angry at his brother for not doing a better job at protecting Ella from the other Grayson who had clearly left her broken with issues he didn’t know how to resolve.

“You were single as fuck and a nerd”, Grayson sighs, “Kristina wasn’t even an acquaintance and the car you drove was more like a trash can running on fumes.”

Staring blankly, Ethan swallows thickly, “I don’t like that universe.”

“I liked it”, Grayson covers his face with his hands, his voice filled with remorse. “I didn’t know my life here was imploding while I was living the life I genuinely prefer over this one.”

“You’re saying college football was better than this house?” Ethan raises an eyebrow, “The money we have, the world we’ve seen, people we’ve met?”

Nodding, Grayson drags his palms down his face, “It was so much better.”

“Well, good for you. Meanwhile Kristina and I were dealing with a manwhore baby Grayson with no impulse control who was a pathological liar and manipulator.” Flicking a crumb from the countertop onto Grayson, Ethan continues, “Ella cried herself to sleep every night and we didn’t know what the fuck is happening.”

“She said she almost slept with him”, Grayson gulps audibly, unsure if he’s feeling guilty over the position that put her in, angry she’s angry at him when she nearly did something worse or jealous over the fact she had been touched by what seems to be the demonic version of him.

“You literally admitted to kissing the other Ella, I hardly think you have any room to judge anything she did Grayson.” Ethan’s tone is cold, his words harsh but truthful. Grayson has no right to be angry or jealous, he was a willing participant while his Ella was tricked.

“I can’t explain it”, Grayson runs his fingers through his hair, moving it away from his forehead. Truth be told, he got used to the short hair from the other universe, he couldn’t wait to cut it again. “She was still Ella. They had their differences, but she was still Ella and the more time I spent with her, less I wanted to be away from her.”

“Look, this is uncharted territory. We can’t exactly define any rules in a situation that had no rules, so just give her a moment to deal with this on her own terms.” Ethan places his hand on Grayson’s shoulder, hoping to comfort his brother but even he was having issues looking at him normally after everything the other Grayson did.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Grayson frowns, lips parted as Ethan’s eyes widen.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m about to fuck something up”, Grayson’s frown deepens as Ethan presses his lips together, genuinely having flashbacks to the insanity of manwhore Grayson and the stress he caused.

“I’m just waiting for you to start complaining about the tattoos or fake gag at vegan food or order a bunch of fried chicken or maybe scream about a game you’re missing.” Ethan rambles on as Grayson cackles, shaking his head.

“Man, I’m a dick!”

“Oh, no, the dick part was you hitting on Ella and then winking at every cute girl in your way.” Ethan raises both eyebrows as he shrugs, “I did smack you every time I could tho’, Kris did too.”

“Good”, Grayson exhales through his nose, his lips pressed as his eyes fall to his hands. “I really didn’t want to hurt her. Either Ella”, Grayson’s voice is meek, defeated and the empty look in his eyes speaks volumes of the weight that’s been forced upon his heart.

“I know”, Ethan manages a smile, “You’ll get her back.”

“Think so?” Grayson raises his eyebrows, an inkling of hope lingering deep behind his brown hues.

Ethan’s smile widens in an instant, “Know so.”

--

In this broken world Ella is Grayson’s world, his healer, his light and love, good women are that way. He missed her, more and more as each day passed and while it seemed like the world was spinning madly on, Grayson’s life felt like it stopped the day she walked out the door.

Kristina came back hours later, but Ella didn’t. What made it worse is that whatever Ella shared with Kristina had turned her against Grayson as well. She didn’t want to speak to him, much less to convey his messages to Ella and Grayson was sure they were in contact.

This heartbreak was unexpected, as they always are - top of the world one minute and cut down the next. Grayson expected to be blissful if he ever found his way back, but he only found misery. He could only blame himself for having broken not one, but three hearts the night he made his way back home.

Oftentimes, Grayson wondered what happened with the other Grayson and Ella when they woke up together, sharing a single bed. Did he once again try to lie and manipulate Ella or was he decent enough to tell her the truth.

Grayson feared he didn’t. He could only hope he was better with her, for her. Ella deserved that much and he believed she was more compatible with manwhore Grayson anyway. If anyone can whip him back into shape it would be her.

And his Ella, his beautiful, kind Ella…He thought about her all the time. What is she up to? Where is she? Is she as lonely as he is?

He failed her, both of them. He failed himself too.

Hearing Ethan talk about the constant stress the other Grayson put on her, their fights, her refusal to walk away because she hoped it would get better. She didn’t give up on him then, even though he was his worst self, but she walked away when she heard he had made a conscious decision to kiss someone else. 

He betrayed her trust and despite feeling guilty, he couldn’t regret it. Meeting her in a different universe only convinced him she’s his soulmate more. He couldn’t imagine life without her, in any reality.

And as a month passed, Grayson found it impossible to sleep in the bed he once shared with Ella. He preferred to sleep on the couch, even if his back felt broken in the morning. The pain was comforting compared to the loneliness the bed evoked. It was better off this way. He hated himself in that bed, he blamed himself every night and morning.

Closing his eyes, Grayson felt a tear roll down his temple. If he’s entirely honest, he’s not sure if he’s just too fucked up to ever love anyone like he loves Ella. He swallows thickly as his heart clenches in pain as his senses trick him into believing she’s with him.

For a moment, he could have sworn he smelled her perfume, the one he was absolutely smitten with. She wore it when they first met, she wore it when they first kissed and she wore it when they first became one. That perfume signifies all their firsts, all the good memories and even the fights he remembers carry a nostalgic happiness to them. Fighting is better than the silence she left him in. If she’s fighting, she cares but when she stops, that’s when crippling fear takes place and Grayson’s been consumed by that fear for too long.

A weight falls on him, a warmth engulfing him. The scent is stronger now, almost like she’s still there with him and in a moment of weakness, Grayson’s lips pass a strangled sob from deep within twenty one grams of soul and the sanity he once possessed.

“Don’t cry”, a raspy voice fills the silence and Grayson’s heart nearly stops. He’s hallucinating now, clearly he’s lost his mind. “If you cry, I cry”, the voice returns as a whisper and Grayson’s not sure if it’s all a dream.

Opening his eyes, he gasps once he sees Ella’s head resting on his chest. She’s laid upon him like a safety blanket, a tad too short to truly cover him but effective in its intent.

“You’re here”, Grayson breathes out and her head moves up so her eyes meet his.

“I couldn’t trust you, I didn’t even trust myself that day. I didn’t dare let you near me scared that I’ll lose you the same, but I can’t let that fear dictate my life and I can’t bear the pain of staying away.”

Running his hand down her back, Grayson pulls her up ever so slightly so he could easily kiss her lips if she allowed him to. He wanted to be able to see every change in her eyes, every line of her face.

“I love you”, he stops her from speaking, finding her apologies unnecessary. She had enough of heartbreak for both of them when he disappeared.

“Don’t let me run again”, her voice breaks and Grayson notices the tears pricking at her eyes, “I know I asked you to let me go, but don’t. I got mad and insecure, but I love you. So don’t ever let me leave again.”

Brushing the tip of his nose against hers, Grayson’s lips curl at the corners, “Never.”

“Do you want to tell me how awesome the other me was?” She raises her eyebrows expectantly as Gray gives her a slight shake of his head.

“Well, you were crushing on some dick Dougie”, Grayson starts and her eyebrows furrow in confusion before her mouth opens wide.

“You mean Danny?!”

The excited tone instantly put a frown on Grayson’s face, making Ella chuckle.

“He was my first ever boyfriend back home!” She continues, further aggravating Grayson who could no longer hold back. He told himself he’d be more patient, but it’s a work in progress and he needed her to stop talking, so he did the most natural thing he could think of.

He kissed her.

Before she could withdraw, his arms were around her. He bent back her head across his arm and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth was parting her shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And before a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she knew that she was kissing him back.

It’s like opening up your soul to tasting, feeling and seeing every color of the rainbow in their own sensual way. For Ella it felt almost like catching Grayson’s smile in a bottle, its softness, its sweetness, the slight arrogance that provoked a reaction of her insatiable need for his touch. Kissing Grayson felt just like breathing oxygen she needs to keep her heart beating. His kisses warm the soul. His kisses are right. He is right; for her, with her, he’s the part of her she can’t imagine her future without.

“Never mention Doyle when you’re in my arms”, Grayson whispers against her lips, “Don’t mention Dairy, ever again”, Grayson adds while she giggles, amused by his absolute refusal to say the name right. “That would have been an awful tattoo”, he adds as she chuckles.

“If this is my punishment, I might be inclined to break that rule”, she winks, “Often”.

For a moment, Grayson stopped and stared. She didn’t seem shy or less brave than the other Ella at all. She felt brazen, unapologetically her and Grayson realized for once and all, his Ella, as complicated as she may be, is absolute perfection.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m a man of my words, isn’t it?” Grayson’s smirk is gone once his lips claim Ella’s again and she releases a satisfied moan in response. It was the kind of kiss that was so intoxicating your brain couldn’t handle thinking about anything else.

“I love you”, Grayson whispers against her lips, “I love you”, he repeats. “I love you, I love you, I love you”, he peppers her face and neck with feather light kisses, repeating his ‘I love you’ over and over like a prayer that was finally answered.

No matter what was in store for them, Grayson believed they would find their way back to each other. After all, they’re meant to be and for once, he didn’t doubt that saying. 

People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end.

[toorumochi]

KaruShuu OTP Questions

Ah- I created ehhh 4?? I suppose KaruShuu head-canons posts today but do I regret it? Absolutely not, I loved it. So here you go, have another one, don't be shy, read it.

Also, please keep in mind that these head-canons are completely made up by me in a way of that it's just how I would see it sksksk also here, KaruShuu would be probably adults?? Also married??

Anyways, enjoy~ 🌸

Who is the most affectionate? Sinceee they got married, I'm sure the longer into the relationship, the more they have opened up to each other? Karma would be the type to wake up first in the morning and kiss Shuu good morning, but since Shuu is an early bird, he would wake up before Karma and make breakfast for him. Thats how he shows affection ❤️🧡

Most common argument? Sad to think that they NeEd to argue 🙄💅 but oh well- I thinkkk they would argue over super silly things. For example what to watch (If you have read my previous head canons, you will know what I mean by 'Shrek Marathons'):

"Let's watch something"

"Sure, what do you have in mind?''

Karma would just grin over to Shuu and Shuus eyes would widen, "Hell no"

"Absolutely ye-"

"Karma don't you dAR-"

They ended up watching (again for the 12 time this week) Shrek.

Who apologizes first? Karma apologies fly out of his mouth faster than they stop arguing. Karma would rather apologize than not let them talk for the next few hours.

Favorite (non-sexual) activity to do together? They enjoy getting massage! Ifff KaruShuu was too lazy to go out to get a professional massage for a few hours, they would do it to each other. (It usually ends with them making out later on but I'll delete that part)

Who is most likely to carry the other? Karma would carry Shuu ❤️😩 Ugh bridal style to embarrass him 💀💅

Nicknames?

For Karma, by Shuu: Tamponhead (I used this one in my fanfic and I will forever love it), Moron, Karma. Tbh, I don't think neither like these pet-names or nicknames since that think they are 'cringy'.

Tho, Karma has quite a few: Shuu (Main, he doesn't use 'Gakushuu' but when he does, Shuu melts lol), Pumpkin, Orange, pumpkin pie, Strawberry shortcake (bc he loves strawberries so why not call Shuu one 😌🤚🏻), Sugar cube (Idk I think it's cute, tho I don't know if that's even a nickname- 💀💀)

Also a note: They would definitely not use 'baby', 'babe', 'honey' bc- noooo 😩💀

Who proposes? Karma 💅

Who sings along with the radio? Karma would sing along but he is horrible at singing and Shuu makes him KNOW it by him singing and Karma shuts up but finds it hilarious at the same time.

Who worries most? Both do, depending on the situation. Shuu would be worried about stuff like paying taxes or things like that, meanwhile Karma is worried for Shuus health, if he is eating enough as well as getting enough sleep every night. Shuu is a hardworking bee after all ✨

Who always wants to take selfies with the other? Karma wants to, for example they are traveling somewhere for vacation and Karma wants to take as many pics as possible with his husband so he can later on put them into an album ❤️😩 (KaruShuu as a married couple >>>>)

Who likes to playfully tease the other? Ohhh~ Karma teases Shuu all the time, but there are times where Shuu would feel playful so he would tease back

Who has the weirdest taste in their music? Karma I'm begging you- his music taste changes every week and road trips are a disaster for Shuu

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? Karma remembers because Shuu is always ordering the same things since he is minimalistic lol but Karma is a living chaos when it comes to food so Shuu can't remember it all.

Who is embarrassed to take their clothes off in front of the other? Lmao no matter for how long they are already together, no matter if they are married, no matter how many times they had done it, Shuu would be the one to be embarrassed about it every time.

Who tops? ...Okay so here, personally as someone who writes Fanfics, Karma tops. Always. I just- I just can't imagine Shuu as a top?? my friends gave me some really valid reasons for Shuu to be a top but I just can't see it 😩

Who initiates kisses? Both I guess? But mostly Karma

Who reaches for the other's hand first? Oooo here an example! If they are driving in the car, and Karmas hand is free, Shuu usually reaches for it but as soon as Karma needs it to drive, he has to let go. Or if they are in the cinema - Shuu would definitely hold onto Karmas hand the whole time - as comfort, since they usually watch Horror movies together so yea 😌

Who kisses hardest? Who is most ticklish? Both is Karma, but when it comes to tickling, even tho Karma is more ticklish, he is also stronger than Shuu so he can easily pin him down and tickle him, just for the sake to see Shuu giggle which kills him bc God damnit isn't he adorable?

Who brings an animal they found home? Lol depends on the animal. I would say Karma is a cat person and Shuu is a dog person b u t Shuu is allergic to cats so they can't have cats. But I think if Karma would be the one to bring an animal home, it would be a dog.

Who holds the umbrella for the other when it's raining? Karma's shoe laces often get untangled, so when Karma bends to tie them, Shuu stands over him with an umbrella to keep the rain from pouring on him.

Who tries to playfully embarrass the other in public? Karma 😭

Who kills the scary bugs? Oh lemme tell you about this one:

Shuu HATES bugs, since he always had the feeling of his father having a bunch of centipedes around himself whenever he acted manipulative and so on so he hates them. So one time when Shuu was taking a shower, and Karma was in the kitchen, Shuu suddenly screeched so Karma went to check on him. He walked onto a Shuu, covering himself with a towel and looking absolutely T E R R I F I E D at the ceiling, stuttering. Karma was hella confused so he looked up and oop here we go, a spider. Karma obv took the spider off the ceiling to free it, but first he had to tease and scare his husband a little by walking towards the shower stall, "Shuu look~ He wants to be friends with you~", the way Shuu screamed at this made almost all of the windows in the apartment break.

Who asks the weird questions at random in the middle of the night? Karma does that on a daily basis, but when Shuu is a little bit drunk, he would ask weird questions to which Karma never has an answer but he jokes around.

Who hogs the blankets? Karma hogs them and Shuu ends up having a cold the next morning 😭

Who wakes up first? Shuu is an early bird, but Karma wakes up first for work.

Who wants to stay in bed just a bit longer? On weekends, they both stay in bed a bit longer to cuddle ❤️💕

Who always makes coffee for the other each morning? Karma makes coffee for Shuu before he leaves for work 🥰

Who cries during certain films or when reading sad books? Lmao Karma cries during Shrek every time the scene comes up where Shrek had an argument with Donkey 😔

Who gets scared during horror films? Shuu 😩😩 He would (as said before) take Karmas hand for comfort

Who tells their friends/family about the relationship first? Lmao none since GakuHOE is well, a hoe so they won't trust him b u t I have the feeling of Karmas mom being actually super supportive?? But they wouldn't tell her, she would just get the hint and then when she receives the wedding invite she goes "oh-".

What do their friends/family think of the relationship? Rio was shipping this since the beginning of middle school aight, she loves it and she even threw a party for them. #IstanRioNakamura

Who is more likely to ask the other to dance with them? Karma would ask Shuu to dance obv but Shuu would go along 😩💕

Who cooks best? Karma! And Shuu loves his cooking! :D

Who wears the other's jacket? Shuu is the one to wear long coats, and Karma those thicc jackets. Shuu usually gets super cold even with the coat on, so Karma gives Shuu his jacket on top of the coat lol.

Who uses cheesy pickup lines? Karma- anywhere. Have an example:

"Hey Shuu, could you feel the shirt?", he asked Shuu while they went shopping and Karma wAsN't sure about his T-Shirt choice so Shuu was running his fingers slightly over Karmas chest with the shirt still on and thinking about the material, then Karma went: "Know what it's made of?", and Shuu looked at him and was about to answer him, but Karma was quicker and continued, "Boyfriend material", ObViOuSlY with a grin and Shuu was a gay blushing mess 💅 but then Shuu went along, "What do you mean boyfriend? I can only see Husband material", and tuRNED AWAYYYYY~

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear during inappropriate times? AAAA I T H I N K I've written sum like this before- So two things that happened:

KaruShuu were invited to a funereal or sum and pls the church was quiet and stuff but obv Karma had to joke around and he leaned over to Shuus ear and whispered a joke into his ear which made our stubborn Shuu giggle and the church was this close👌 to throw them out lmao

Shuu was at work, and Karma likes to call him randomly, but oh well Shuu picks up and Karma starts to tease him over the phone maybe something very sexual stuff (knowing Karma he would) and Shuu just- he is sitting at his desk and his workers are giving him looks about why is he blushing so much.

Who makes the other laugh most? Karmas jokes always make Shuu laugh, sometimes even cry since they are hilarious.

Who would have to bail the other out of jail? Oh my God- Shuu would have to bail Karma out of jail maybe during college years, but I think Karma would mature a bit more as an adult

What would be their theme song? YOOO- A WHOLE PLAYLIST WOULD BE NEEDED-

Who would sing their child back to sleep? OOO!! Karma would be the type to read stories, but Shuu would sing them to sleep :D

What do they do when they're away from each other? I can imagine that they both have those business trips from time to time, so when they are apart, they FaceTime each other every evening to check on each other. Yes indeed they must stay at fancy hotels for their business trips and they are being served food, but they still check that the other one is eating and sleeping well. Oh and good morning and goodnight texts™️🥰

A headcanon about them that stabs your feels? Oh- oH GOD- That maybe they tend to act very distant at first in their relationships?? Or more cold? For example Shuu, he would not really know nor show much affection to Karma and Karma at first thinking that Shuu doesn't love him at all (which isn't true bc Shuu loves him deeply) but then he after some time figures it out when Shuu opens up to him more.

A headcanon that mends the previous one? That they both after some time spend together, have the opportunities to open up to each other, know each other better as well as find out each others weaknesses and strengths which makes their relationship stronger. I absolutely love them ❤️😩

[sarah-writes-marvel]

Oxygen: Avengers x gn! reader

S.S.: Heya... its been a while. This is another fic kinda based on personal life stuff but I hope you like it still! 

--Little back story, Ive got a congenital heart defect and if I push my self too far this is kind of what happens. :)

Warnings: mentions bruises and cuts, difficulty breathing, other than that its just fluff!

Word count:1,589

Y/F/M: your favorite movie

MASTERLIST ============================

“Alright! Good job team. Another success.” Tony celebrated walking through the helipad entrance of the compound.

“We still took a heavy hit out there tho.” Clint argued massaging his newly wrapped wrist.

“But we’re still alive,” Tony said turning and walking backwards, “I’d say that kinda evens out the bad.”

Clint rolled his eyes at Tony’s slightly faulty logic before the team entered into the common area of the building. Tony immediately took a seat at the bar pouring a drink while everyone else just stood for a minute.

“Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm tired and in dire need of a shower.” you broke the silence, catching their attention.

“I second that,” Nat agreed. “And then maybe some pizza and a movie.”

Various words of approval echoed in the common room.

“Man, I was thinking about throwing a banger of a party!” Tony whined, with a sly smirk, which was returned with cold stares from each of the members. “Jeez, I was kidding.” he mumbled into his glass.

“I’m gonna go shower. I suggest you boys do the same. It's starting to smell.” Nat teased as she made her way to the elevator. Protests and grumbles came from the men standing there.

“She’s not wrong.” you whispered under your breath as you followed her into the elevator.

“I heard that!” Steve yelled out as Clint threw a throw pillow (how ironic) towards the elevator door, hitting the metal before it reached you and Nat.

After a fit of giggling at the attempt, you both leaned against the walls of the elevator, opposite sides of each other, trying your best to filter out the images of the mission running through our heads. 

“Hey, you alright?” her voice attracted your attention as you peaked open your closed eyes.

“Ya, I’m ok. I know that missions don't always end how we want but there's not much we can do.” you sent her a reassuring smile.

“I’m glad you realize that but I was asking more about how you're feeling. Your lips have a very subtle purple hue to them and you're just kinda pale.”

“Oh. I mean I don't feel completely awful. My chest kinda hurts but it's kind of a normal thing for me I guess. Maybe a little out of breath. And a headache.” as you continued to list off my symptoms it seemed more apparent, like the sudden lightheadedness, and the constricting feeling of taking in a breath.

“Do you need to go to the med bay?” She asked on full alert.

“No Nat. I'll be fine. It kinda comes with heart issues. I just need to rest.”

“You’re sure?” she looked at you sceptically, as if you would lie to a perfectly trained assassin who can pick up on any micromovement made.

“Positive.” As soon as you seemed to calm her down from her motherly attentiveness the elevator doors opened to our floor. You quickly gave her a smile and turned to my room while she turned towards hers.

As soon as you were in the safety of your room you striped your tactical gear, doing your best to keep an even breath as it began to feel like the material was constricting your body. With one last solid tug you freed yourself from the clothing leaving you only in underwear.

The reflection in the mirror wasn’t terrible… Maybe that was an understatement. Your lips did in fact have the not so lovely purple tinge to them, your skin looked almost as white as paper besides the bruises and cuts. The burning feeling in your chest and the headache just kind of added to the pain. 

You shook off the slight shock at the reflection, turning on the shower before stripping and stepping under the steaming water, washing away the grim that had apparently become one with your skin.

Despite it being relaxing, the shower did little to help the chest pain that burned through your chest, nor the continuous feeling of not having enough air in your lungs. So as soon as you stepped out of the shower and back into the room you found the little oximeter device and placed it onto your finger waiting for a number to pop up on the small screen.

‘80% oxygen level’ Well that's not good.

“Mx., should I call for a medic to assist you?” Jarvis’ voice echoed through the room causing the number representing your heart rate to spike.

“Uh- no, no it's alright Jarvis. I’m fine, thank you.” you reassured the A.I., pulling the device from your finger.

“Very well.” 

You pulled on an oversized shirt that just happened to have landed into your laundry one day and a pair of thin comfortable pants before moving to your closet.

“Man, I’m gonna regret this.” you opened the door revealing the several oxygen tanks hiding under the clothes that hung in your closet. They were there only for emergencies and no one else knew about them except Bruce, who you had sworn to secrecy which he thoroughly disagreed with.

You chose one of the half sized tanks and the shoulder bag that carried it, slinging it onto your back and adjusting the fit. You carefully wrapped the plastic cannula over your ears before taking the plastic wrench piece and opening the flow of the tank settling at a fairly quick air flow. Almost immediately you began to feel the benefits of the small amount of oxygen entering your lungs, breathing a sigh of relief.

You quickly slipped on your slippers before returning downstiar which you figured everyone had returned too by now. You followed the sound of voices and wrappers crinkling in the kitchen, walking into the group there intimately discussing the best type of popcorn. But as soon as Tony caught sight of you standing in the doorway the conversation halted.

“What's with the getup?” he motioned to you.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know whose shirt it was, it was just in my clean laundry a few days ago.” you said, avoiding the obvious object in question. You looked up to see Nat giving me a pointed look and a deadpan from Tony.

“I meant the tube, and the backpack.”

“It's my new jetpack. You like it?” you smirked childishly at him as he rolled his eyes.

“Y/N. What's with the pack?” Steve commanded, obviously over the jokes.

“Sorry. I just needed a hit of oxygen. Nothing to get your undies in a twist.” you replied quietly. “What movie are we watching?” you asked, grabbing a slice of pizza from one of the various boxes that sat on the counter.

“Why do you need oxygen? Are you ill? Do you need new lungs?” Thor questioned passing over your previous one.

“Do you need your vitals checked?” Bruce suggested.

“How about we just take you to medical and have them look over you quick.” Clint suggested before stuffing the last of his pizza crust into his face.

“Stop!” you demanded, quieting the group. “I’m just fine. I checked my own vitals. I don't need new lungs and I'm not ill. I don't need medical treatment. What I need is just a relaxing night.” you stated.

“Are you sure? It wouldn't be a bad idea to-” Steve started before you cut him off.

“I'm sure. I’ve lived with this my whole life. I know what I need to do. Obviously if the out of breath feeling and the dizziness are constant then yes I’ll let one of you know that I need medical attention. Until then I just need some oxygen and RnR. Can we do that please?” 

“Fine, for now. But if you still feel crappy after the movie you're going down to medical. No questions.” Tony compromised.

“Alright. I'll try not to faint on you guys until then.” you smiled, which immediately faded when no one laughed. “Im kidding.”

“Well, Miss Comedian, what movie are we watching?” Nat asked as she poured herself a glass of water.

“Y/F/M?” you offered, getting nods and sounds of approval. Steve's eyebrows crinked in confusion.

“What's that?”

“You’ll love it, capsicle. Covers everything from the last thousand years.” Tony smirked, grabbing a box of pizza and leaving the kitchen.

Steve glanced at you before looking at everyone else who just smiled and followed Tony. Eventually he got up and walked over to you.

“Hop on.” he said, crouching in front of you. So of course you followed orders, adjusting the tank on your back before climbing onto his.

“Man if I get service like this I should wear my oxygen tanks outside of my room more often.” you smile as he carries me to the living room.

“Wait? You’ve felt the need to wear oxygen before and you didn’t tell us?” his grip under my legs tightened a little.

“Oh wow, they already got the movie set up!” you said, trying to wiggle from his grasp.

“Y/N.”

“Yes, I have just because I know that this would've been the reaction. Im sorry. Next time I feel like this I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” with that he let you down, sitting next to you on the couch once youve settled down. You carefully maneuvered yourself so that your head laid in Steve's lap while your legs were across Thor while the movie played.

It was nice to be worried about every once in a while despite the overbearing motherly attitudes of most of the male teammates, but what can you do?

========================

S.S: Hope you liked it! Again I realize its kind of a case sensitive fic but I havent seen alot of fics with physically disabled characters. Thanks for reading!!

[oohyansi]

ASYMPTOTE LINES.

"they always say to expect the unexpected, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow of life. i guess meeting you is not the worst thing after all; i never knew life could be this thrilling and beautiful again — i just hope you'll always choose to stay and never leave my side..."

PAIRING: idol jaehyun x idol reader

GENRE: fluff, angst, smut

WARNINGS: no warnings, just enjoy the ride & surprises (lol jk this would contain a lot of smut and fluff probably and a whole roller coaster ride)

CHARACTERS INTRO:

NCT as NCT, Jaehyun as the Jeong Jaehyun himself, You as a member of a 4-member girl group from SM Entertainment called IRIS, Johnny Seo as your cousin.

STATUS: coming soon.

PLOT: if there's one thing you can be compared to, that's a pretty solid rock. but everything changed when you finally decided to go back to Korea. entering the industry have let you meet people that that turned your life into something worth living again, and having him is one of the best part. from strangers to best friends, and who knows what's next? will it stay that way? will it be more than that? or will it fall apart?

PROLOGUE:

You have everything; the looks, the talents, the brains, and the perfect family. You are an only child, your family is known to be wealthy as your parents are both surgeons. Your parents might be busy at work, but they never failed to make you feel so loved. Little did you and your father knew, your mother was suffering from depression. You have everything — but not until she passed away. Your family became a mess and your father decided to leave and settle in another country for the both of you to move on with your lives. You were 10 years old when you moved to Canada, stayed there and studied Psychology. You are an excellent student, that's why you got accelerated and graduated earlier. Your father — he overworked himself. It's like as if you lost him as well with your mother. He still provided you with the comfortable life and everything you need, aside from attention and affection. This is why you grew up to be so reserved, an introvert, who forgot to express affection and how it felt; you became cold and heart could barely feel emotions at all. You never healed.

After you graduated, something in your mind sparked up. You ponder on things, a voice echoed in the back of your head, it was your mother's voice. She would often remind you that "life is beautiful" and that no matter what happens, always find a reason to continue and have the courage to keep going. This leads you to feeling the urge to go back home, and face everything you left there; all the memories that comes with pain, waiting for you — thinking that if you could finally and accepted what happened fully, you'll be able to overcome that burden in your heart for so long, hoping that you can live your life again. One night, without thinking, you booked yourself a flight to Korea and called your father, who's at work in the hospital, telling him you'll go back to Korea and you already made up your mind, although you know to yourself that you do not have any plans as you go back. He just agreed and said he's ask your cousin, Johnny, to pick you up and help you settle as you go back. You love your father and didn't want to leave him alone, you felt a bit of guilt, even though it seemed like he left you first. You love him but a part of you won't deny the fact that you hated him a little for almost forgetting he still has a daughter who needs him. But that's long gone, you don't need anyone anymore. You've become independent, so used to and comfortable with your own, not having the slightest need to depend on anyone.

7:00pm Seoul, South Korea

After a long flight, you finally arrived. Slowly opening your eyes as your plane landed, seeing a familiar place through the plane window where your heart beats rapidly for the first time in a while, you felt home. As you walk out the airport, your eyes instantly wandered looking for a familiar face. On the right side, you saw a hella tall guy with a wide smile plastered in his face, looking and waving at you. There he is, your older cousin Johnny waiting for you. You both aren't that close with each other since you both grew up in a different place, yet back when you were young and everything was fine, you played with each other a lot in family gatherings. He would send you messages on your birthday or holidays to greet you, you knew he's busy since he debuted as an idol. He also occasionally sends you messages asking how have you been, knowing how broke you've become after your mother's death. Seeing him again feels nostalgic and warm. You walked fast towards him and he welcomed you open arms giving you a quick yet tight hug, and you did the same as you both smiled.

"It's been a while, Y/N. You're all grown up now." He said after the hug, with a warm smile, patting your head like he used to before when you get annoyed by his teases when you were just kids. "How have you been?" He asked.

"Pretty good, hyung." You answered with a soft smile, although it's a lie. You've never been good for the past 9 years. You used to call him hyung before and not oppa for no reason. "You're the one who grew up hyung, look at you! I look like a tiny kid standing in front of you." You let out a small laugh, joking about his height as he also laughed, but quickly displayed a shocked expression in his face as he forgot something.

"Ah- by the way Y/N, i'm actually with someone here" He said as he slowly moved to his side, revealing another person standing behind him since earlier.

"This is Jaehyun, he's my member and a good friend. I asked him to come with me, you know, it's boring to drive alone" he said with a small laugh while scooting more to the side, giving you a full look on the guy he's referring to. You knew your cousin is an idol, you can sometimes saw their group's performances while scrolling through your phone, but you never really got to know about them. You had no interest, you rarely had interest in anything aside from studying. But you are so proud of your cousin just knowing that he finally fulfilled his dream.

Your eyes landed on him, you took a quick yet good look on him, enough to notice he's just wearing a casual attire with a pair of ripped jeans and a black shirt, looking so soft with his hair down.

"Hi, Y/N." He gave you a smile, and his deep dimples on the sides of his cheek did not remain unnoticed by you. Actually, it got you a little distracted; but you weren't that amazed. You've seen a lot of good looking guys back in Canada, majority of them asking you out, but you never really went out with anyone. You got no time and interest in dating, you couldn't even feel emotions by yourself.

"Hi, I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you" You said with a smile back, handing your hand over him for a hand shake. You noticed how he was staring at you with eyes you cannot explain what those meant, before he looked at your hand, back to your face. He reached his hands to meet yours.

"Me too." and the moment your hand touched, you felt how warm and soft his hands are, you felt a little flustered on how tight his hand holding yours, not tight enough to hurt tho. You held hands a little longer than the usual handshake would take, before you retreat your hand from him softly, beaming him another smile. You noticed how Johnny's eyes looked at you and Jaehyun for a couple of times with a very small smile on his mouth, almost not visible but you sort of knew what it meant. They gave each other a quick look you did not noticed as you looked at your phone to check the time.

"Y/N, it's half past 7:00, have you eaten?" Johnny asked.

"Not yet hyung. Have you? Let's go for dinner?" You replied to as he took your baggage.

"Sure! Bet you missed korean food, where do you want to eat?" Johnny asked as you walked out of the airport heading to the parking lot where his car parked. You are on the left side of Johnny, while Jaehyun is in his right side.

"Choose for me hyung, I haven't been here for almost half of my life. I could barely recall the restaurants we used to dine before" You said chuckling softly, realizing how long you've been away from the place that's supposed to be your home.

"Yeah, you never visited! You like Vancouver that much?" He said with a playful whine and you just smiled at him when you already reached the parking lot and his car. He started to put your luggage in the trunk, Jaehyun helping him.

"Nah, I didn't liked it that much, Vancouver is a great place but... nothing beats home, i guess? I just needed to stay there with no choice." You said and the last few words were said in almost a whisper. You're chuckling, but Johnny knew what you meant.

He walked to you and put his hand on the top of your head again and pat it, "Well you're here now! We'll pick up all you left and missed out, don't worry." He said, giving you an assuring smile. You gave a genuine smile back, knowing that this is the start of putting your life back into place. You sure had a lot of worries on your mind, not knowing where to even start or what to do, but all you hope for is that you don't regret coming back.

You all went to the car, you sat on the passenger seat while Jaehyun sat at the back. While choosing for a restaurant, Johnny asked Jaehyun for his suggestion and you all agreed to go on his favorite restaurant, it is a 45-minute drive from the airport but it's just fine as you can relax a bit in the car after your long flight. Johnny played relaxing music and asked you about your graduation, how have you been, and random stuffs for the first 20mins while the rest of the time he just let you rest on the seat.

Along the quite long drive, you did not fail to notice Jaehyun looking at you through the rearview mirror. You pretended you did not notice it, but you can feel his stares back and forth the mirror and your back.

JAEHYUN'S POV

Fuck. The moment I saw her walking out of the airport with that smile as she recognized Johnny, realizing she's that 'cousin' we're about to pick up, I couldn't believe my eyes. Of course I acted cool, but hell, I couldn't take my eyes off her. She's so beautiful. I felt my insides shuffle a little when I heard her voice, she sounds like an angel. I can smell her when she got close, and damn. She smells so good.

Seeing beautiful faces have become normal for me, for us in the entertainment industry, but I am lost for words for her beauty, I'm not even sure if the word beauty is enough to describe her. Her long hair just lying on her waist, wearing a pair of knee length boots and a black dress and coat, she looked perfect. How come someone out there, who's supposed to be in Korea, looking this good, just flashing right in front of my eyes just now?

What took you so long?

Those are the words on the back of my mind. She handed out her hand to me, I hesitated shortly before taking it, thinking 'am I even allowed to touch her hands?' God, she seemed like a porcelain, too fragile to touch and to beautiful to hold her hand for free. Her hand felt so soft that I don't even want to let go. I knew Johnny noticed it too, I almost lost my cool. Giving me the look, I know he understood.

i'm damned. i did not believe the idea of love at first sight, until now.

------------------------------------------------------------

author's note:

hi!! i'm actually hesitant to write this one, this is my first. I had this story on my head for quite a long time now, lol being an nctzen really get your imagination worked up 😆 I just wrote this semi long prologue to know if I should countinue this one or just keep this imagination to myself lol. PLS let me know if you're interested on how this delulu story would go. if you say so, I'm willing exert effort in writing this the best way I could to deliver the story at it's best too. all the love, czennies!!

ps. I am jungwoo biased but jaehyun, this guy... I know we can all agree that he has a special place in our hearts, that's why he's the main character in here. 🤍

and the title, i'm not a fan of mathematics but I loved the concept of lines. you can search what asymptote lines means... 😉

[rebel-pogue]

Stretch Marks

JJ Maybank X plussize!Reader

request: kinda...?

warnings: cussing, issues with body image, angst, fluff

summary: After a fight with your parents about your health, you plan to spend the rest of your day to yourself until a certain blue eyed blonde finds you on your deck.

a/n: from @maybanktho​ they made a wonderful list of imagine ideas and I had to jump onto this one... tho I do have a couple others from the list im working on as well! I hope you guys enjoy! This one was enjoyable bc it felt really personable but idk... let me know what you think and if you’d like any specific imagine!!

wc: 1.5k

There were plenty of things in the world that you never understood. One, why bras were so insanely expensive. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that they were conditioned into wearing one to be presentable to the public. They were uncomfortable, no matter how “high quality” they were, broke way too easily for anyone’s own well being, and even if you bought one to look cute for someone else, it’s not like it stayed on your body very long in those instances. Another thing you just didn’t get was why or how anybody could be interested in you or your body. Emphasis on the latter.

You’ve always been bigger than everyone else, in size and height. You never knew what it was like to be able to just pull something off the shelf at a store and it fit, nor to have something fit perfectly without it being too loose on your waist, or not fit over your hips and butt at all. Growing up you were constantly surrounded by smaller, prettier girls, magazines that glorified a specific body type, and TV shows and movies that were never inclusive to plus size women. Even if they had one character who was plus size, they were always the butt of the joke. You didn’t know what it was like to love the body you lived in growing up.

As you got older, it got easier. A lot of it was thanks to yourself just generally being tired of being told you didn’t fit “a look”, though more appearances of plus sized characters in TV shows, movies, and magazines helped as well. Instead of feeling that separation between the women who ran the world, you felt a connection finally. However, it didn’t take much for a single comment to plummet your confidence. Then you met the one boy you never realized you needed in your life, JJ Maybank.

“Hey gorgeous.” The smooth drawl gained all of your attention away from the music you were listening to as you relaxed on the deck from your house. Your eyes landed on the smooth-talking blonde who stood at the steps, leaning against one of the wooden posts that lined the short pier that you often escaped to when life was too much to handle.

You couldn’t help the natural smile that came to your lips as you lifted the sunglasses from your eyes to greet the insanely attractive male, “Well, hello to you too. I thought you had work today?” You questioned, watching his movements as he stepped closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours.

He rested into a seated position beside you, and his eyes travelled your body. You loved and hated when he did this. Your conflicted emotions could never fully convince you if he actually enjoyed what he saw or not, but today he couldn’t see much anyways, which you were thankful for.

“Got out early, Pogues were thinking about taking a ride out to swim...” he slowed his words his eyes finally matching back up with yours again, “Why are you wearing sweatpants? It’s hot as balls outside!”

Your hands instantly found their way to the hem of your shirt, toying with it nervously, “Haven’t had the best morning so far.” You commented casually, not wanting to continue much of the conversation. You hadn’t planned on doing anything with your day after the conversation you’d had with your shitty parents that morning.

JJ tilted his head slightly, reaching up and brushing some loose strands of hair that had whipped to the front of your face. You flinched slightly at his touch, not because you were scared of him but because the small gesture of affection was hard for you to accept sometimes. He frowned slightly, but didn’t bring attention to it.

“Was it your parents again?” He asked, averting his eyes from yours so he wasn’t putting too much pressure on you to answer. You could never fully explain how or why JJ always knew what to say or ask.

Sighing heavily, you pushed your body up, pulling your knees to your chest, instinctively covering your stomach with your arms, “They made their usual comments about how I needed to take better care of myself, how I shouldn’t be wearing such ‘revealing’ clothes, that I should use my money for gym memberships instead of, oh I don’t know, saving money for COLLEGE?!” Your voice grew in intensity and volume as the anger returned to your mind, tears stinging the edges of your eyes. “I mean, it’s like I can’t do anything in life if I look like this.” You gestured towards your body, regaining eye contact with JJ and regretted it immediately.

His bright cerulean eyes were too soft, too concerned, and too focused on everything you had just said. His normally striking and strong features relaxed into an empathic position causing you to involuntarily take a sharp inhale.

“Never-mind, JJ. Don’t worry about it, it’s not your problem.” You said quickly, trying to deescalate the situation and make it seem less important. You stretched your legs out in front of you, the bright sun disappearing into the black sweatpants that hung on your legs. Your mind began to spiral as the memories from that morning circled back and how you had just complained to JJ about something he could never understand.

Pushing yourself off of the old wooden deck, you stood fast, keeping your eyes away from his. Today had started off horrible, and it seemed it was just going to continue in that fashion no matter what you did. You couldn’t fix your body, you couldn’t fix your parents, you couldn’t fix you. As you began to step over JJ, his hand reached out for you, clasping onto your wrist where your hand still clung tightly to the hem of your shirt.

“I don’t get it, like, I really don’t…” You were waiting for the usual ‘I understand how you’re feeling but it’s not that serious’ comment to spill from his lips. You kept your eyes on the ground, not wanting to watch him crush your mentality anymore than it already was.

“JJ I don’t need your sympathy-“ You began, a small tear rolling down your cheek.

JJ stood quickly, grabbing your shoulders to bring your attention back to him, “It’s not sympathy (y/n)! I don’t get how people can look at you and not be blown away! How they can’t just look at every inch of you and fall completely head over heels for you, how they couldn’t fall in love by just seeing how beautiful you are!!” He was breathing heavily, his eyes wide and honest.

Your breath hitched in your throat as more tears fell from your eyes, this gorgeous, beautiful, fit boy just confessed to you right? Is that what just happened?? You didn’t know what or how to process what was coming from his mouth, but he continued, “The first time I saw you, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. Your smile was just… nothing like I had ever seen before. Hell yeah I noticed your body, I noticed your hips, your chest…your ass! It’s because I saw one glance and I knew I needed you in my life… and I couldn’t have been more right, for once in my life.”

His hand landed on your waist, resting easily and comfortable above your hip. Your shirt lifted slightly and you could feel the heat from his hand on your side. “…are you sure? Are you sure you want this?” You asked quietly, still not able to tear your eyes away from his beautiful blue ones.

He scoffed loudly, his eyebrows knitting together almost angrily at what you had said, “I don’t want anyone or anything else.” You stated matter of factly and slammed his lips into yours.

It was rough at first, but the passion overtook the both of you and you lost yourself in him. Your hands found their way to his blonde locks, his hands reaching behind you, grabbing onto you and holding you tight. Your lips moved together in motion, his tongue easily making its way through your lips and dancing with yours. You didn’t know how long the two of you stood there in each others embrace, but when you finally broke you both had to catch your breaths. Resting his forehead against yours, he pressed one more quick kiss to you.

“Do you really think my ass looks good?” You asked, looking up into his eyes curiously.

The grin that landed on his face made you swoon, “Oh baby, I would throw away everything if I could just hold onto your ass.” You both chuckled softly, falling comfortably into silence.

A small while later you found yourselves making the short walk towards your house, your hands grasped in his own large ones. “So, you said we’re going swimming right?” You asked, glancing sideways towards him.

“Maybe later, no offense but after talking about you I’m so fucking horny right now and you gotta take responsibility.” He pulled you after him, rushing into your house and towards your room.

[junosartsthetic]

Mista Headcanons

Did somebody say appx. nine pages of Mista Headcanons written at appx. 1 am? No? Well too bad, because that’s what I have to offer. These have not been read over so good luck deciphering some of them.

He do be hairy doe 

U know he’s got out of control curly hair that he doesn’t know what to do with

And I ain’t just talkin abt his head hair

Dis mans

Doesn’t understand how hygiene works

I lov him

But he smell

And the fact that he’s got a lot of hair doesn’t help that

But have no fear!

Just,,,, give him bath or shower. 

He will be fresH and make sure to shampoo and condition haiR!

Also get him some curl cream and blow dry that shit.

It’ll be stunNing!

And it’ll smell like vanilla or some shittttttt and it’ll be niceeeee

N u can run your hands through it and play with the curls n u know if u scratch behind his ear his gets all happy like a doggo

He’s a good boi!

He just needs someone to show him some love! And teach him how to properly take care of himself!

Also teach him how to properly shave because u know ya boi doesn’t know how to do that properly 

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

But it’s okey!

He learns!

Eventually….

After a lot of trial and error…

also u know with all that hair and sweat he’s got some acne

The poor boy doesn’t know what to do but you go out and buy him some skin care products and make sure he knows how to properly apply it!

Monthly spa time!

Give him a mani pedi and a nice deep condition and a face mask and put some cucumbers on his eyes!!!

He deserves it!!!

Also take away some of that greasy food he likes to eat

It’s not good for him

🥺 sorry mista but it’s for your health

But u can make up for it by giving him some smooches!

Tell him he’s a pretty boi!

Because he is!!!

He’s just a poor 18 year old that never learned how to take care of himself!

but u kiss his lil acne scars n u tell him he’s handsome n u play with his hair n give him the love he deserves!!!!

H-he babey. That all. 

N when u two finally ya know,,, get it on u make sure to let him know that u don’t care if he hairy everywhere!

U lov him!

It DONT matter!!!

U think he is stunning!

N of course let him know all the little scars he’s got from bein in the mafia DONT matter either!!!!

U kiss them!!!

And make them all okay!!!

Because it is okay!

Also idk if I mentioned this but u get him that nice old spice deodorant and it smells so good!!!

And it works so well!!!

So he’s no longer stinky!!!!

He’s fresh looking and smelling!!!

🥺🥺🥺

Also u help him pick out some clothes that let his skin and hair breathe so he doesn’t break out often and his hair stays nice n he’s hesitant because he’s worn the same clothes for sooo long but u convince him it’s for the best

N when he does he’s so happy!

He loves them!

What do they look like?

Idfk 

Gimme a sec

U get him a blue jean jacket that’s a button up in case he wants to have long sleeves

U find him a breathable shirt with the same pattern as his crop top sweater

U get him some shorts that make him look fashionable but also he can run n stuff in them

U get him some cool sneakers

U buy him a hat that’s loose and he can put his hair down or through the back of it in a lil pony tail n it’s nice

He looks so much better!!!

N u even bought him a holster!!!

It’s good.

n his stands like to chill in the pocket of the jean jacket or the shirt pocket n they’re happy too!

also in ur boobs but that’s not the point of this fic

anyway, he’s good!

And now that he’s all clean you cuddle with him more often n he loves it!

he likes to rest his head on your chest and close his eyes

U pet his hair

His stands also like to vibe inside whatever shirt or top you’re wearing n u honestly don’t mind

They just chill n rest their arms on the collar and wave at mista

Also they catch any food crumbs you drop so it’s amazing

it’s a win-win

But also awkward for Mista because he can feel anything his stands feel so the entire time he’s got a red face

Also the days you don’t wanna shave or even if u quit shaving all together, mista doesn’t give a fuck!

he’s like,,, have you seen me? Grow that leg hair out, grow out any other hair you want.

N ur like,,,, u sure?

N he’s like you put up with my hair so damn right imma love yours

So then you just vibe tbh

He makes you so confident in yourself because you did the same to him

Power couple!!!

Y’all both realize your strengths and appreciate the other for what they’ve done

It’s a good wholesome relationship 🥺🥺🥺

Oh he’s also probably self conscious about his eyebrows cause they r bushy n when he furrows them it looks like he has a unibrow 

N ur like, I can teach u to pluck ur eyebrows but also I love your bushy eyebrows?

Dem caterpillars on your face?

Stunning

You kiss his forehead right between his eyebrows n tell him you love every bit of him

He just 🥺🥺🥺

anything he ever mentions

Nose?

U smooch it.

It’s amazing.

His tummy?

Best pillow ever.

You give him a smooch on his tummy.

Literally anything— you make sure he knows that you love it because it’s a part of him and you love him!!!!

He’s also admitted that he wears his hat to hide his ears 

He’s got big ol’ ears and he’s self conscious about them

you give him a smooch on each ear

“What? Babe, you’re the only person I’ve been with that actually listens to me! Those ears are a plus!”

Soft boi need lov 

He was probably bullied when he was younger for how he looked and acted and so put up walls to ignore it

He likes to pretend nothing can get to him but he’s honestly really soft

He needs someone to confide in because he’s full of so many self doubts but he’s so good and doesn’t deserve to be!!!

he also likes being the little spoon sometimes

It’s nice to be held

He’s not used to affection and craves it

Give him all the snuggles

He deserves it more than life!!!!

He acts carefree and likes to live life peacefully but he probably has some sort of undiagnosed disorder like anxiety or ADHD that makes him hyper aware of bad things that could happen

When he was younger, he was less worrisome and such, but ever since joining the mafia he’s gotten more anxious

Who wouldn’t?

It’s the mafia!

He’s shown not to overthink things but I think he’s just telling himself that

A million scenarios are probably flying through his head

He’s a quick thinker!

That’s why people think he’s not too bright, because he chooses the direct route and chooses it fast

I think he’s aware of what he’s doing down to a T however.

He learns to drop his facade and actively talks with people without feeling anxious about it

he can now read and listen to music without horrible scenarios running through his head

Now, when he looks calm, he actually is

He obviously had a rather traumatic childhood whether he wants to admit it or not

When he says he wants a peaceful life he really just wants a break from his thoughts telling him that he’ll never get what he wants and that he’s not worth it

When he did things when he was younger and sort of just went wherever he wanted he thought that would help him get rid of these feelings

It didn’t

U help him to see that any life can be good if you make it so

He cracks jokes and makes others laugh and he likes to feel like he belongs

He sometimes regrets impulsively speaking all the time however, as he fears people find him annoying

He also gets really upset and angry easily

He learns to relax more though

You help him with this, of course, with all of your compliments and such

Also, this has been mentioned before, but cuddles!

Y’all love them

So nice

On the couch? Cuddles

On the bed? Cuddles

You love to be able to access his hair to mess with it and he loves to lay against your chest because free pillows

Usually he’s halfway on top of you, head against your chest as he tells u about his day

You’ll pet his head and play with his hair as he does so

He’ll have his arms around your waist and cling to you like a koala

When you want your hair messed with or just get suffocated from fluffy boi laying on you y’all will switch places

You’ll put a pillow on his chest tho

His stands will also mess with your hair

And probably walk on your back to attempt a back massage

But they’re too light so it doesn’t do much

You appreciate it anyway