#no rational reason why he'd care for the man

[il3x]

so Bradshaw definitely drew some conclusions right

[xinganhao]

🎭 svt when idol!reader releases a breakup song.

anon → "may i request when idol!s/o releases a breakup song? maybe for like a promotion or a comeback but not because of svt iykwim"

⌗ ┆ i have a soft spot for my earlier idol!reader work so it was fun to revisit them <3 a little more crack, less headcanons than usual lol

‧₊˚✩彡 includes: idol!reader, f!reader, established relationship, pet names, fluff, crack, [short] headcanons under the cut.

🎭 headcanons .ᐟ

— drama line ✩ seungcheol, junhui, mingyu, vernon.

all the boys are bound to kick up a fuss one way or another, but nobody throws a tantrum like choi seungcheol. that man will be on your case for weeks. "why couldn't it have been a love song? why are you so good at singing about breakups?" junhui is equally dramatic, though in a different manner. he goes down the route of spite. the song is officially banned in the dorms. if anyone plays it in his vicinity, he will honest-to-goodness glare them down. as far as he's concerned, you have no reason to be crooning about situationships when you have a perfectly good partner waiting for you at home! mingyu is in the exact same boat, by the way. he is personally offended. he knows he's been a good boyfriend. and you're out here singing like he's broken your heart? oh, hell no. mingyu is going to get ridiculously over the top with his boyfriendisms to prove a point to— well, maybe just to himself. in contrast to the rest, vernon takes a different approach. a little moral high road, if you will. he doesn't whine about it, but he does get— in the other boys' words— 'emo' about the whole thing. an instagram rebrand? frank ocean being one of his top artists of the month? ... you get the picture.

— sweetheart line ✩ joshua, soonyoung, wonwoo, seokmin, minghao, seungkwan.

a good number of the boys would take the breakup song with relative grace. joshua is aware that it's strictly work, but he doesn't miss out on the opportunity to tease you a bit about it. he'll take any opportunity to remind you of how much he cares about you, even if it is in a roundabout sort of way. wonwoo usually errs more on the side of rationality, too, though this breakup song scares him just a teensy bit. he doesn't bother you about it; he'll cope in his own little way until he comes around. (he's not opposed to reaffirmations of your love, though.) at this point? soonyoung and seungkwan can be a comedy act, really. we have soonyoung apologizing for every little thing he's done, just so he can ascertain that you will not be writing about him in your next album. and then we have seungkwan who assumes the song is a not-so subliminal message of some sorts; he is immensely relieved when you tell him that you're not, in fact, ending things via comeback. and the sweetest of them all. seokmin doesn't care if it's a four minute song. he'll take apart every single lyric, offering you reassurances that you don't even need, until you have a hard time performing the song with sincerity because your boyfriend has made it much less convincing. meanwhile, minghao spends hours ruminating before just asking outright. he's a bit shy at the fact that he's potentially overthought this, although he'd much rather be overprepared on being a good boyfriend than fall on the other end of the coin.

— revenge line ✩ jeonghan, jihoon, chan.

did you think jeonghan was kidding about couple's therapy? absolutely not. booking a session for the two of you is, in part, a joke, sure. but he's also a believer in therapy, anyway, so it becomes one of your... admittedly weirder dates, but there are certainly worse ways to unpack this non-issue. jihoon and chan stick to what they know best. jihoon's teasing of a 'response' song just means that there's going to be a certain track in the next mini-album that may or may not answer the questions/refute the claims/reassures the worries of your breakup ballad. he's classy that way. chan, on the other hand, has a lot less finesse. he's not so subtle in the way he literally makes up a routine— is it a slow song? he'll do contemporary, then!— and posts it for everyone to see. he needs everyone to know that he is unbothered. flourishing. in his lane.

[artytaeh]

⋯ ⋯ ﹒ 🪻 ’

can i disagree with some of this fandom's perception of tom riddle? surely he won't be a sweetheart like lorenzo, but...

┊ i also don't think that he'd be so intentionally rude, so cold towards his significant other. i honestly think that if tom ever becomes infatuated with someone, he would take pride into getting this someone to belong to him. willingly! 🌷

౨ৎ i guess i'll never know the reason why you ♡ ͡

love me like you do; that's the wonder of you . . .

... tom riddle is a smart man, you see. love, romantic feelings, to act like a couple and all of those things— these might be the most confused that tom riddle will ever be, because otherwise, he's an extremely competent, capable young man.

tom riddle does get confused, a little lost on what to do; he'd torture himself by discreetly watching couples at hogwarts interacting, maybe make some research (= read novels. romantic novels. it was a discovery of a new medieval torture for tom, seriously, to waste his precious time reading some sappy crap like that.) to better understand how to handle you.

how to deal with you.

how to cherish you, so that you don't ever entertain the idea of leaving him. you see, tom is a practical man— he'd rather not commit mistakes, because to fail, means to spend extra time fixing his error and doing the same thing twice, so that this time, it's done correctly.

applying this ideology to you, it means: that 1) tom riddle prefers to always keep your heart happy, so that you don't have doubts about him; so that 2) he won't have to take twice the effort to conquer the city of your heart again.

some think that tom wouldn't like petnames. to be fair, tom would frown at many of those, at first— thinking that they were cringe, disgusting or a psychological way to acquire diabetes. however, when tom gets used to this stir on his heart, those loud heart beatings that cloud his rational thoughts...

... it's excused to say that tom's preferred petname to call you by, is 'my love'.

tom reasons that's because it isn't a lie at all. well, you're certainly his— and because of you, because of your existence, of this enchanting aura of yours; that's how tom riddle discovered love. there are few things that tom is attached to. even fewer that he shows to care about, to have affectionate feelings for; one of them is the basilisk. others are his favorite books, all of them first editions that were troublesome, but endlessly worth it, to get. nevertheless, at the peak of the pyramid, there's you.

you. oh, how your name sounds so angelic, so right, so perfect on his lips. sometimes, tom doesn't call you by any petnames, so that he can mouth each syllable of your name, tasting the acquaintance of the name of his darling on his lips.

⋯ ⋯ ﹒ 🪻 ’

he might call you by other petnames, depending on the occasions:

darling; which, in his opinion, is fairly one of the best petnames to be shared between a couple. because you, reader, are endearing to his eyes— a darling, really, whose presence immediately softens (ever so slightly, because tom riddle still is tom riddle himself, and that mask of stoicism of his won't be broken without putting up a fight.) those previously icy, cold eyes of his.

dearest; if tom is trying to reason with you. unlike what many think, tom would take a deep breath, put on that handsome smile of his, and use a gentle tone to convince some words inside that pretty little head of yours. 'dearest', he calls for you— so gentle, so full of affection; as if reminding you that you are the object of all of his affections and desires. you, his dearest, the one he adores the most. the reminder of such a fact easily melts you in less than a few seconds, which tom sees as too perfect of an opportunity to lose to convince you much faster.

doll; if you look rather ravishing to his eyes, whenever you dress up even prettier than other school days, and wear such pretty clothes and many accessories to further optimize your beauty. beautiful, perfect, flawless; like a doll. a carefully made doll. a doll, that sits there quiet and all pretty, obedient, doing as she's told.

( i must warn you, though, that tom won't entertain silly nicknames from you. tom riddle will ignore you, march forward without sparing a glance at you, not even acknowledging your presence should you insist on the matter. tom won't answer you, should you refer to him by such hideous petnames. you could be about to fall from a mountain, and yet tom won't help you until you address him properly. baby? he's not a child, for salazar's sake! pookie bear? now that might make tom riddle himself throw you off from the mountain's edge— call him such a monstrosity like that, and tom will lose every drop of faith on you. you're a lost cause. )

if he had to choose; yes, tom would prefer if you were obedient. contrary to popular belief, tom riddle is quite fascinated with sweet personas. to have a sweet significant other, who's all smiles and considerate words— it's so, so much easier for tom.

between a brat that trashes around for his attention, and a sweet girl who gently tries to indulge (purely out of concern, wanting him to share his problems with her!)— tom would rather choose the latter.

⋯ ⋯ ﹒ 🪻 ’

quite the darling you are. to boldly take tom's hands between your own, with that frown of yours. no, you're not being whiny; yet tom can see that there's consideration, there's time spent on that little brain of yours, that tries to find the right words to speak with him.

then, when you voice your concerns— that tom spends some time alone from time to time, seemingly hiding something from you, as if to shoulder all of those burdens all by himself...

tom takes a deep breath, swallowing his temper. trying to keep his composure, because tom hates having to justify his actions. with a smile, tom puts on a facade, with a too much convincing tone: "oh, dearest, no. i'm flattered that you noticed that i haven't been having the best days; however, your presence makes everything better. in fact, being with you now, makes all of my problems seem insignificant in comparison."

should his sweet words not be enough to keep your nose out of his business, then tom takes a step further. holding your hands, tom squeezes them between his fingers, gently at first, tightly when you're too stubborn: "my problems are mine to solve, my love. i would never put such a heavy burden on you; your smile is too precious for me to ruin."

sweet, sweet words; some that tom mentally grimaces at, but knows that are necessary and effective with you. talking as if he's doing you a favor on keeping you away from his PERSONAL thoughts and goals.

and that's how tom pushes you way. gently, smoothly— so that you'd have to rethink this moment over and over, for you to understand that once again, tom riddle has tricked you; tricked you into doing what he wants. because without a fight, without you daring to bother him further... tom riddle made you go back to your own business, and leave his alone.

⋯ ⋯ ﹒ 🪻 ’

however, when tom is in a better mood and less stressed with his own goals, he'd find it funny, entertaining even, if his darling tried to be bossy. to pout, to want some sort of control. it's hilarious for him.

so, he indulges you. well, sort of— tom tricks you into thinking that he gave in to your commands. to your whims. in a sneaky way, tom makes you think that you're in control!

the one who's in charge is you. yes, darling, of course. he pats your head, gives you that charming smile of his. with such a serene expression, tom briefly raises his eyebrows, mocking you inside that devious mind of his, as he says: you are absolutely right, dearest.

tom riddle doesn't really mind that you aren't consciously aware that the one in charge is him. that's fine; no, seriously, go and brag about it!

because ultimately, tom knows that what he says, goes. that with some sweet words of his, a little touch here and there, that you'll soon see the reason and comply to whatever tom wishes you to say, to do, to behave.

he does is so smoothly, that even for the outsiders, well... it'd be hard to realize that all that tom riddle is doing to you, is nothing but manipulation. and you're oh so easy to manipulate— it was a challenge at first. now, it's more of a chore; tom barely blinks through it. he knows you so well.

however, so that you whining and getting used to think that you're having things done your way, tom throws some praises and compliments here and there.

touching you chin, gently brushing his thumb on your lower lip; tom's gaze intentionally softens, as he praises: 'you're just too good to be true, my love.', whenever you act accordingly. when you do as he says.

brushing a strand of yours away from your face, so that he can further admire the physical features of his beloved: 'i sincerely can't take my eyes of you, darling, when you are so good for me like this. pardon the way that i stare— you're too beautiful.'

and with even more sincerity, tom riddle isn't sure where his manipulation ends and his genuine care for you starts; tom isn't sure, whether his words are now a muscle memory of his, or if he truly means them.

but he never allows himself to discover the roots of this thought. to actually find out if he truly is such an emotionally shallow person, or if his weakness for his darling is deeper than he realizes. no— this is one of the few matters, in which tom would rather remain ignorant about.

⋯ ⋯ ﹒ 🪻 ’

because tom is such a gentleman with you...

opening doors for you. walking two, three steps ahead of you as soon as the entrance is upon sight, tom will open the door for you; his arm keeps it open for you to enter or leave the room first, and so those grayish-green eyes of his watch you, as you pass by. then, tom will enter just behind you, following your lead, quickening his steps to go back to his rightful place by your side. he lies to himself, saying that he only does such a small gesture to effortlessly keep you by his side. tom would be telling the truth, if he doesn't interrupt the thought that he enjoys to escort you— because, deep down, tom genuinely appreciates your company. every step, every minute you spend together. 'here, love. please, continue; what did you tell your housemate, then?'

tom riddle refuses to let you carry heavy books. so, as if it was muscle memory and so smoothly that you can't do anything about it, tom will carry your books along with his, as soon as you leave the classroom. it's not that he finds you useless, incapable; rather, tom riddle perceives you as a... preciously delicate, fragile little thing. most of the times, tom does it so nonchalantly that you don't even notice; you're too distracted by your conversation, to notice how tom carries your stuff, busying his arms. however, should you notice or worry that you're being a burden to tom in any way; tom shakes his head at you, waving off this silly insecurity of yours: 'i know you can carry them, beloved. however, allow me to do it for you. i am your boyfriend, am i not?'

offering his hand for you to take, whenever there's a higher step to be climbed up, or tricky stairs on your way. tom will do it too, to give you some kind of support, should you jump off of a particular high edge. whenever you wear high heels, tom would be specially careful with you— he offers his arm or hand for you to take, walking in a much slower pace than usual, so that you won't overexert your feet. we can't have his darling getting hurt, now can we? no bruises, no pain, no redness on your skin undesired by him, nothing to interrupt the lovely time you're spending together. 'take my hand, my love; it's quite high for you. that's it, darling, good girl.'

whenever you're about to sit, tom grabs the back of your chair, pushing the seat backwards for you to take, then helps you settle closer to the table. only then, will tom take his own seat in front of you. it's something that becomes so, so common between both of you, that sometimes you find yourself taking a few more seconds to sit down, whenever you hang out with your friends; unconsciously, you'd wait for tom to gently guide you to your seat. oh, you're spoiled.

leaning down to get the material you accidentally knocked out; if he's not quick enough to notice, then tom will keep his hand on the edge of the table, so that there's no chance for you to hit your head. 'quite the klutz, aren't you, darling?' — with a lighthearted tone, so that he doesn't come by as mean, tom couldn't help but to tease you just this time, — 'next time, let me get it for you, dearest. now, careful with your head.'

⋯ ⋯ ﹒ 🪻 ’

... and because he's always so soft-spoken with you, well, how could you listen to your friends, in case they notice that maybe tom riddle isn't as a good guy as he lets on? that perhaps, he is a little controlling. that maybe, he's too overprotective of you.

→ and of course, being the fool you are, you stroll to the lion's cage (or should we call it snake?) and deliver all of this information on a silver platter for him.

SAT SIDEWAYS ON HIS LAP, tom settles your thighs to rest on top of his, while a hand is respectfully kept there; caressing the smooth skin, rubbing circles on the bare skin of your thigh, just inches underneath the hem of your skirt.

tom riddle keeps up a serene expression, sometimes humming in acknowledgement, to show you that he's listening to this ramble of yours. if it's a topic that seems to have bothered or upsets you, then tom will keep another hand on your lower back; he soothes you with small movements of his fingers.

oh, how funny. so this ravenclaw friend of yours, told you that it isn't normal for tom, your boyfriend, to comment whether you roll up your skirt during summer? that such a thing is being controlling? now that's something tom will have to deal with. perhaps, he'll only have to frame this irritating ravenclaw girl; have you ever thought that maybe, she's interested in tom? that must be why the ravenclaw is filling your pretty little brain with such absurd exaggerations of his doings. how lucky you are, to have an attentive boyfriend that easily notices when a friend of yours has bad intentions.

( for obvious reasons, tom despises amortentia. he finds it disgusting, but more than that, tom riddle perceives amortentia has a rather pathetic tool to get someone's affection. tom will never use it on you— he doesn't need to! however, he will get his hands on one, to use it on that nosy, insufferable ravenclaw friend of yours. only to prove his point. so that this nosy girl acts disgustingly flirty around tom, so that you'll come running back into his arms, crying about such an awful friend and that once again, tom was right. you apologize to him, for doubting his assumptions. you end this friendship and cut ties with the ravenclaw girl. and tom, well, tom riddle has once again rid both of you from troublesome outsiders. )

ah, now this is entertaining! so these friends of yours, housemates, have noticed that tom has been keeping an eye on you. now, dearest, that's rather silly, don't you think? so what if you seem to find the same familiar faces in the same space as you? do you really believe your friends' theories? that he sends his followers ''friends'' to follow you around the school? darling, hogwarts is quite enormous and spacious, yet all of you study together in the same castle. it's inevitable, to see familiar faces, here and there.

( however, tom will blame his followers. how difficult can it be, to follow, to stalk a girl like you? and to go unnoticed as they do that? sincerely, tom stares at them with such disgust, such disappointment, that his followers tremble under his gaze— the future dark lord even mentions the idea of getting rid of them. of throwing them away. after all, why would he need such useless, such incompetent boys like them, if they can't follow simple orders correctly? it's excused to say, that you'd never suspect being stalked again. 1) because tom reassured you that such a thought is rather silly; and 2), because these followers of tom riddle do a much better job. out of fear. )

oh, darling, what silly friends you have! sincerely, it seems like you only attract observant delusional friends, or attentive paranoid companies!

in the end, it doesn't matter if your friends tried to alert you about tom's toxic concerning flaws traits. because in the end, at night, he will have you nuzzling on his lap, holding you so tenderly; all of these warnings disappear into thin air, when tom makes you laugh at such accurate ridiculous accusations.

in conclusion: no, tom riddle would never be rude or snap at you; not if he can help it, not if he can keep his temper in check. he believes that the best way to keep you so effortlessly devoted and infatuated, to keep you willingly by his side, is to treat you with care (even if sometimes he has to manipulate his way into it). how lucky you are, to have such a obsessive caring boyfriend!

🪻 ; . . . fandom : harry potter.

— i'm endlessly faithful to theodore nott. however. the first to kick the entrance door to my heart was tom riddle. and what a man (i can't fix him. i would let him ruin my life him tho!), ladies and gentlemen.

the headers + gifs + icons aren't mine. credits to the respective creators ! 🌷

[zettaireido-emotion]

Camus character analysis: games VS anime

If you finished the Uta no Prince-sama anime and your opinion of this man is "wow, he's kinda terrible," I don't blame you. in fact I've seen a lot of people say this

In this post, I want to talk about his characterization in the games and give my two cents on what the anime was trying to do with him, especially in his single focus episode Saintly Territory (S3E6).

Disclaimer: I wrote this on a whim because I'm sick and stuck at home so if anyone reads this, sorry I might go all over the place

Spoilers for all of the games!

The "be my slave" thing

Starting with Anime Camus's most egregious crime: treating Haruka like a servant/slave (however you want to translate it)

Basically in his focus episode, Haruka is tasked with writing a song for Camus. She wants to learn more about him in order to write it, but Camus will only let her follow him if she acts as his servant. She accepts without complaining, Cecil is rightfully angry, Haruka continues anyway and the song gets completed.

Now, am I about to say that Game Camus would never do this? No because he literally does lmao.

The anime doesn't pull this "servant" plotline out of nowhere, here's the context in his route:

Haruka accidentally overhears Camus talking about a plot to assassinate Saotome on the phone. When he notices that she heard everything, he basically tells her that he has to kill her now. But if she served him, he'd be able to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't leak anything, so she could escape death.

Okay uh "work under me or DIE" isn't exactly better, nor is it a good start to a love story, but I'm not finished!!

(A side note: I have to add that the anime made him look like an even bigger asshole and borderline dumb when it came to the things he made her do. Like he expected her to know that snapping your fingers means you want coffee without prior explanation. bro

^This might have been for comedic effect but I promise he can be actually funny and endearing.)

What the anime couldn't cover

The Camus episode wraps up with Haruka pulling through and writing a song that makes Camus "sincere," he says it's cool at the very end and that's the episode. I think the problem is that we technically didn't see him being sincere or what that even means to him, besides when he was singing (banger song btw)

It's a shame because in a 20-minute episode you really can't show the game experience of slowly piecing together what this man's problem is.

First of all, in Debut and AS you'll be quick to notice that he always has homeland and duty on the mind, constantly reminding himself that he's in Shining Agency/Japan for a reason, and it's NOT to have fun or make friends

The truth is, he slowly starts to appreciate the banter with his colleagues, music, and working there in general.

But because of his initial mindset, he has to rationalize & justify every connection he forms, like "it's just for work" or worse: "actually it was ALL A LIE and I NEVER ENJOYED A SECOND OF THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER, I'm such a great actor haha"

He uses that to fool himself and to push the other person away so it doesn't happen again. This scene is probably the best example:

(I'll be using google lens because it's faster but I checked that the tls were okay)

He also does this in the Non-Fiction drama, which may or may not have actually happened, but I think it's still a pretty good reflection of what could happen in reality because he tells Ranmaru their bond was a lie, then mopes around in his guilt thinking about the good times and wondering why he's sad, and THEN later doubles down on the "it was a lie, I don't care about you" because he just can't let himself get attached to anything.

Basically, he's terrified at the thought of forming actual bonds because he genuinely thinks he's nothing if he stops being a cold weapon:

At one point he does admit he sucks (as a love interest)-

-which is pretty huge by utapri standards. I love these games, but the amount of times where a male lead does something icky, and everyone, including Haruka, acts like it's normal or like it's Haruka's fault is ehhh but I digress

Upbringing

Of course he's very proud of his homeland and status, but sometimes it's to the point of thinking he can't be anything other than his title. So why is he like this?

We got to hear about his childhood from Camus himself a few times, and it often ended with Haruka thinking "wait? that's kinda messed up?" and Camus insisting it's nothing/it's normal so yeah that's something...

His parents were in an unhappy arranged marriage, and his mother was forced to birth an heir which traumatized her so much that she can't see Camus without falling ill. Overall it's a pretty tragic situation since what happened to her was horrible, though not Camus's fault either. Even now she refuses to see him, and I wouldn't say that makes him sad because he never really met her, but simply knowing of her sacrifice probably adds a lot of pressure. As in, he only exists for this one purpose (inheriting his father's title and serving the country), so if he doesn't play his part correctly, it would have all been for nothing.

He was raised by his father not as a child or son but as the heir, always treated and judged as an adult (even during physical training apparently, make of that what you will)

When Haruka asks about childhood memories he has a very hard time finding something that doesn't have to do with his duties or the nation. And then admits he didn't truly have a "childhood" since he was never treated like a child

As for the queen, I think his love for her is sincere: she taught him a lot of things growing up, and according to him, she's also a victim trapped by her duties so he wants to ease the burden.

So hypothetically, if he found things or people that made him happy in Japan, he would feel obligated to lock them away because that happiness is incompatible with his life: he'll have to leave when his mission ends, he shouldn't be spending time on things that aren't "useful" as he doesn't have the free will to pursue them

In his mind he's completely tied down by the fact that he was born and raised for a single reason, and the fact that he does want to serve the queen.

(This is Saotome describing him btw)

Also it might sound ridiculous to bring his self-worth into question because of how pretentious he is, but I've counted a few situations where he seemed to have complete disregard for his own life, only worrying about Haruka and Cecil's safety in scenes when they were present. And he thinks wanting to be loved unconditionally is a childish thought he shouldn't have.

"Double Face" was a lie. There's like at least 10 layers

On the surface he does have two personas, his perfect polite butler act for the media, and his cold bitchy attitude off camera. But honestly, even when he's not acting as a butler, he's often putting up a front to hide any form of vulnerability (from himself as well)

His main struggle is finding who he is outside of what he's being told to do. Before, he never actually stopped to think about what he WANTS because it just never occurs to him, or if it does he ignores it.

That's why realizing that he has his own desires is essential to his character development, and him staying with Quartet Night (and Haruka in his routes) is so important. It's why Reiji feels the need to reach out and when he does, Camus either freezes up or tears up;

This all makes him the opposite of Ranmaru (being true to yourself and sincere), and similar to Ai (gradually learning to view the world in a less cold and logical way), but I kind of want to save that for another post lmao

He is especially hard on Cecil because Cecil says & does whatever he wants, and everything still works out for him, which is a way of life that Camus can't imagine for himself at all (despite maybe wanting it?)

That he can realize this and eventually admit out loud, despite all his pride, is also one of my favorite things about him

Season 2 does hint at something, so that's pretty cool!

Side note, I really love that his theme in the new Oracle series is "Change," the melting of ice.

So what was the anime supposed to do??

Of course there's no way to show all this in a single episode or even during the runtime of the anime, and I never expected them to because the story is very surface-level (that goes for all characters).

It's just unfortunate since the anime is the most accessible and well-known utapri media in the western fandom, and the character's main episode is bound to leave the biggest impression.

I understand the choice of being laser-focused on the servant plotline, it's supposed to be funny (?) and waters him down to a trope that's easy to understand at first glance (the step-on-me guy I guess)

Still, I can't help but compare it to Ranmaru's episode, who was also hard to work with in the games but was chill in S3E7 and got to pet cats. Anime onlys will never know how much Camus loves to dote on his dog smh.....

[orcasoul]

Joel Miller Imagine #2

Warnings: Swearing, sexual themes

Word Count: 840

QZ boyfriend Joel who has never publicly said he's you're boyfriend, but it's just known between you both that he's yours and you're his.

QZ boyfriend Joel who likes to know where you're going and when you'll be back (not in a controlling way, but that's just how dangerous QZ life is) Who knows deep down it's unlikely that anyone would threaten you lest they want to face his legendary fury, but it brings him peace of mind to know your whereabouts in case you ever need him. Who's always ready to pounce if a man even looks at you disrespectfully.

QZ boyfriend Joel who's quick temper has always controlled his mouth, sometimes snapping and saying things he really doesn't mean during an argument. Who internally hates himself when he sees the tears you've been tying so hard to hold back. Who when things have calmed somewhat, will apologise sincerely and tell you he'll try to do better instead of blowing up, and makes sure you know how much you mean to him, even though he'll never say the three words you want to hear; but he does, so fucking much!

QZ boyfriend Joel who's often harsh, blunt and violent - when needed- with people, but is always soft and caring when it comes to his girl, especially when you're having another tough day, who holds you firmly in his strong arms when you wake in a blind panic from another nightmare. Who feels a sense of relief and purpose when his embrace and the low timbre of his voice helps to sooth you back to sleep.

QZ boyfriend Joel who feels terrible when he leaves on a smuggling run with Tess and has to leave you behind, no matter how much you protest (he actually finds your pouting to be quite cute on times, but he'll never tell you that) Who knows that if anything ever happened to you it would be the end of him. He'd rather you mad at him than dead or... worse.

QZ boyfriend Joel who's secretly flattered when you get jealous of the time he spends with Tess. Who has told you time and again, there's no one else for him but you (and it's true. He could never imagine being with anyone else) and that the only reason he bothers with Tess is because she's one of the best smugglers in the QZ.

QZ boyfriendJoel who instantly dislikes any man (except for the few you both know) who tries talking to you, who sees any other man as a potential threat to your safety. After all, this is hell on earth and when society crumbles so do the morals and decency of a lot of men.

QZ boyfriend Joel who sometimes finds his mind drifting to the old world, wishing he could give you everything you deserve in life. It's why he became a smuggler in the first place, so you will never need for ration cards.

QZ boyfriend Joel who fucks nasty. Who, when he's had a bad day, won't even talk about it at first. Instead he'll grab you and bend you over the nearest piece of furniture, ripping your trousers and panties down without even opening the button (so many ration cards wasted on new buttons). Who, before pushing himself inside your waiting tunnel, leans over you into your ear, asking if you remember the safe word. Who, when he's gets the confirmation he needs, spears himself into you, fucking you at a brutal pace until you're soaking not just his cock, but the tops of his thighs too. Who, after he has fucked out all of his frustrations, cleans you up and holds you like you are fine china. Only then will he tell you about his shitty day.

QZ boyfriend Joel who makes love to you with a tenderness and devotion that belies his gruff and intimidating exterior. Who always makes sure you come before he slides into you, eating you out like a man devouring his last meal (which in this world, it could very well be) Who pushes deep and slow into you, dragging himself against your sweet spot and only speeding up the snap of his hips when you want him to go faster. Who whispers words of affection against your neck as you throw your head back in ecstasy, crying out his name. Who holds you in his arms all night long, watching the flutter of your eyelids and listening to your soft breaths, wishing you could both stay in this moment forever and not have to face another gruelling day tomorrow.

QZ boyfriend Joel who will stop at nothing to make a better life for you both outside the QZ. Who traded three months worth of saved up ration cards for a dodgy old car battery. Who promises that very soon, you'll both leave the QZ and start a new life in Jackson, where his brother lives.

QZ boyfriend Joel who will get you out of here if it's the last thing he does!

[simp4konig]

Snores. REALLY loud. 😬 ONLY when you are in his arms 🙄 — when he sleeps alone, he is eerily silent.

I'm taking this and assuming it means that he's relaxed enough to snore because he knows you won't hurt him, and especially if he's sleeping during the day, he knows you've got his back. He wouldn't admit it but maybe he subconsciously knows that his lover is just as protective of him as he is of them. He knows they'd never let anyone hurt him, so his body finally leaves fight or flight mode when resting next to them

Idk if I'm just reading too much into that but it's what I'm taking from it. Nikto trusts his lover so so much

I'm rambling now but imagine his lover got accused of being a rat and there was sizable evidence against them and he just doesn't believe it. He just goes "no" and helps his lover hide because he's not an idiot, he knows they'll be tortured for information they don't have if they stay, and if they got tortured, he'd have to kill everyone involved and then punish himself for, in his eyes, allowing it to happen.

Meanwhile he works to find out who the actual traitor is, and when he finds out they intentionally framed his lover?

Not good things

🪼

YES, 🪼 ANON!!! YOU GET IT!!! 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️

Because being on high alert is exhausting. Being hyperaware of every noise — inside and outside —, every gust of wind, every breath, rise and fall in temperature, every movement... it's exhausting.

Personally, I headcanon Nikto to be a light sleeper when he's on active duty — so light that rarely truly sleeps* (or, better put: it's rare for him to get any sleep. Sleep deprivation could be the cause of those permanently red eyes of his?), as he can still recognise the sounds around him and is ready to engage with any enemy planning to stab him in his "sleep".

Before Zakhaev, he was cautious. After Zakhaev, he's paranoid.

Any noise could signal an enemy's stealthy approach: a creak in the floorboard? a passing car? footsteps echoing along the wrong? voices whispering in the night? a tusle of his bedsheets, easily to be mistaken for rustle of someone's combat gear as they adjust their pistol to aim it at his forehead? Man gets no sleep... ☹️

That's why he's eerily silent — because a.) he has to be aware of any and all dangers and b.) if he can neither be seen nor heard, no enemy can capture him, can they?

*LITERALLY as I was writing this (little by little since you sent the ask in), this headcanon showed up on my feed, and Nikto stating this is SO fitting: "We do not sleep, we only fall into darkness until the sun brings us back". PLS ITS LITERSLLT HIM? +++?? +++? @??

However, I imagine him as a deep sleeper at heart, and when he has finally no rational reasons to be paranoid, he can relax. Somewhat.

He's still as stiff as a board: lays flat on his back, arms by his sides, legs straight, and all that; however, it's with his partner only when he can actually relax, as 1.) with them laying on his chest/by his side, they are safe, they aren't in any danger, they are okay 2.), their presence brings him solace and peace like no other 3.), he isn't alone anymore, he doesn't have to protect himself and focus on his survival, since he can now just... live, as opposed to survive,

and 4.), because (like you said! 🤭❤️), his partner would be just as protective of him as they are of them. <3

To ease his stress and alleviate the paranoia at least a little, they vow to care for him and take care of him, and to demonstrate through small but meaningful acts that he doesn't have to be fiercly independent and self-reliant, but can depend on and trust his partner, too. 🥹

Maybe the relationship that he has with his partner has no one person depending on the other, but a codependent one — Nikto can provide safety, security, shelter, and protection in a physical sense, while his partner can provide all of those aforementioned in the emotional sense (but physical probably too because I would scratch whoever the FUCK had the balls to pick on my man??????,, HISSING and SCREECHING and CLAWING like a fucking cat!!!!!! 😠😠😾😾😠😾

//Also bro you can't apologise for rambling then give the BEST writing prompt EVER??? KISS KISS MUAHM MUAHHH 💋💋,, NEED TO WRITE A DRABBLE FOR THIS!!! 🤭🤭

pls bear w me tho... 😞,, hope u don't mind that im a slow writer 🥲

[emmyspov]

Four times he wasn't sure + 1 time he was (Aragorn x Reader)

author's note: ahh, this is finally done! i started it last year but then uni and work got in the way so it took me until now to finish it. i'm super excited about this honestly, and i hope some of you will feel just as happy reading it. if enough people are interested, i have thought about writing a part two already, like "four times reader wasn't sure + 1 time they were" - what do you think? as always, i tried to keep reader's looks etc. really vague, if there is something you think can be adjusted to make it even more inclusive, please let me know!

warnings: english isn't my first language, mentions of blood, war, death, canon lotr fights, let me know if i forgot something :)

word count: 2.4 k (I think that's the longest fic i've written!)

gif by @dunderklumpen

The first time

"What were you thinking, Strider?", you hissed as the man sat down next to you at the campfire.

"Going out there all by yourself, with no backup. What if a herd of orcs had found you, huh? What then?"

Aragorn could tell you were mad.

"You could have been killed!"

He wasn't even sure if that alone was enough to describe the intense emotions you were displaying right now.

"Darling, I-"

You cut him off. "I don't want to hear it, Aragron. This was dangerous. Something bad could have happened to you."

He hated this. He hated how your voice wavered, either with anger or fear or both. He wanted to see that pretty smile back on your face.

"I can take care of myself."

You took a deep breath. You knew he was right. After all, he was a Ranger from the north who's been riding through the wild all by himself for years, keeping others and himself safe.

Aragorn could tell that something had changed in your demeanor. The wild gesturing of your hands slowed down and your eyes had softened again.

"I know you can", you started as you fumbled around with your hands. "But... What I've been trying to say is that I worry. All the time, about everyone and everything. And when I realised that you were the only one gone from the group and out there without anyone who could help you in case of an attack, something inside me flipped. My worry for you was clouding any rational judgement."

You fell silent for a moment.

"You have the weight of the world on your shoulders, Aragorn. I'm sorry I raised my voice at you. I am just asking, begging you, please don't shut me out. Let me help you carry this weight. You don't have to be the lone ranger any longer. Allow me to take care of you. Let me in."

The crownless king was, quite literally, speechless. Your words had knocked the air out of his lungs.

Would your reaction have been the same if had been Legolas or Boromir who strayed away from the group? He wasn't sure. But then again, it didn't really matter. You cared about him. So much that you became sick with worry when the possibility of something bad happening to him arose.

The thought alone brought a smile to his face, making the skin crinkle around his eyes.

You would never get enough of that sight.

"I promise, I will try my very best to do exactly that", Aragon answered before he paused, thinking about whether he should make you an offer or not. He decided to take the risk. "Maybe, next time, you could accompany me."

Your eyes lit up and he knew he made the right decision. "I would love to."

His chest felt light.

The second time

You've always been someone who gave people their privacy. After all, you didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable around you, but the way you saw Aragorn struggle right this moment made you second guess that decision.

He could feel your eyes on him. He knew you were watching him and yet, he didn't want to take the first step. He hated to be a burden which was exactly the reason why he wasn't going to ask you for help.

Maybe Legolas would assist him with applying the ointment on his back, or maybe- his train of thoughts came to a halt.

He promised you.

He promised he'd do his best to let you in, let you take care of him.

Instead of calling out your name, his eyes locked with yours and he silently pleaded you'd understand.

You did. Of course you did.

With just a few steps, you were standing next to the man, resulting in him letting out a sigh of relief.

His hair was wet from bathing in the lake closeby and the dirt that was usually decorating his face had also been washed away.

"Do you need any help?"

He's sure that he never heard a voice as sweet as yours, basically dripping with kindness.

He nodded. "If you don't mind."

A smile graced your features. "Not when it comes to you, my king."

You took the small container from Aragon's hand which was filled with ointment, made by Elrond to help heal wounds and relieve some pain.

You gestured for the ranger to sit down in front of you and he dropped to his knees without hesitation, his bare back to you.

You scooped up a bit of the tincture. "I apologise for my cold hands", you whispered before gently applying it to the ranger's skin.

He shuddered as soon as your fingers touched him and he tried to convince himself the goosebumps that arose on his skin were caused by the cold, not you.

You could feel Aragorn melt into your touch. His breath evened out and for a second, you even thought he had fallen asleep which was, truly, the only reason you started to trace over some old scars on his back, careful not to cause the ranger any pain.

"They don't hurt", he suddenly spoke and you flinched.

"I- My apologies, I didn’t... think, know- I-" You let out a huff of embarrassment, causing the crownless king to chuckle slightly.

A peaceful silence fell over you while you continued to rub the balm into Aragorn's shoulders and down his back, making sure to not only treat his more recent wounds.

"Where did you get this one", you carefully asked as you caressed a scar on his upper back.

And so, the ranger started to tell you the first story of many about life in the wilderness while you took care of him.

Both of you pretended not to notice when your lips brushed his skin every time he finished an anecdote of his life.

Even if that had been his last evening in middle earth, Aragorn would have been content. He got to spend it with you.

The third time

He didn't know how you did it. How you, despite of all the running, fighting and extreme weather conditions, managed to look absolutely breathtaking.

It was unfair, really.

Not that something as simple as one's looks impressed Aragorn, no.

It was just you he liked to look at because all he could think about were your beautiful brain and warm heart whenever his eyes fell on you.

It was his turn to stay up and keep watch of the fellowship's campsite, making sure they'd get through the night without an incident.

It was a calm night, there was no danger to be seen and although the crownless king stayed alert of their surroundings, he couldn't help but let his eyes drift to you every once in a while.

He was glad you were finally getting some well deserved rest after everything that has happened so far.

As if you could feel somebody watching you, you woke up. Keeping still, you checked the area around you without a single turn of your head.

Aragorn was keeping the night watch and you immediately felt a wave of calm wash over you. If he was sitting around so comfortably, you knew you could feel safe.

But then again, you also felt sorry for the ranger. Although he was running from his destiny, he had made it his mission to keep the whole fellowship safe and alive which was quite the heavy burden to carry.

You could see it, too. His tired eyes or the way at least one part of his body was always tense, ready to fight.

You let out a soft sigh and got up from your sleeping mat, quietly walking over to the man as you tried not to disturb the others.

"Y/N", he spoke softly, "Go back to sleep. You will need the rest."

Instead of answering, you plopped down next to him, his arm brushing yours.

"I can't lay down, pretending not to see you doubt yourself, even at night when everyone else entrusts you with everything they have. You think too much, Aragorn. Let that head of yours come to a rest."

Maybe it was the intimacy of the dark, but when you gestured for him to lay his head in your lap, he didn't fight it. Not for too long, anyway. There was some hesitation, but you looked too warm and too comfortable for him to miss out on this opportunity.

A sigh of relief left his lips as his head made contact with your thighs, the rest of his body turning into a ball.

A rare moment of vulnerability.

You were fighting your own urges for a while before finally letting your heart take over and bringing your fingers up to his head.

Carefully, you started to brush through the ranger's dark curls, removing any small knots along the way.

After a moment of fear that you might have overstepped his boundaries, your heart immediately felt lighter when you noticed him practically melting into your touch while he let out a relaxed groan.

"Does that feel good?"

Aragorn hummed and you smiled to yourself, deciding to go all in.

Your hands moved up his head, gently scratching his scalp for quite some time before massaging his temples.

You've never seen the ranger so blissed out.

Aragorn, on the other hand, couldn't remember the last time he felt so at peace. Your hands were like heaven in his hair and he wondered how they would feel holding his own hands in times of difficulty or against his cheeks while leaning in for a kiss.

He let himself indulge in those fantasies, not putting an end to them, despite the fact you weren't his.

When all this was over, he decided, he would ask you to stay with him.

The fourth time

The next time, there wasn't even hesitation. When you reunited with the man after the battle of Helm's Deep and saw him covered in blood - which wasn't his own, he assured you - you immediately pulled him aside, your hands cupping his face.

"Aragorn", you breathed and leaned your forehead against his.

"It is not over yet, Y/N", he replied as he took your hands, gently squeezing them.

"I feared for that, but let us celebrate this win. For now, let us take pride in the fact that evil did not win. There is still hope."

He grinned. "You are using my words against me, my darling."

"Someone has to", you mused, "otherwise you will never realise the power behind your words. And now sit down and let me clean your face before the blood dries completely."

He followed your instructions without any complaints.

You grabbed a bowl of water and a clean enough cloth and kneeled down in front of the king.

If it had been anyone else, you might have felt vulnerable or disrespected, but not in this situation.

You dipped the piece of fabric into the warm water before bringing it up to the king's face, gently wiping the blood off of his cheek.

His eyes were fixed on you. He wasn't sure how anyone could look so beautiful while being so focused. The urge to ease the tension between your eyebrows bubbled up in his chest and he desperately wanted to kiss that exact spot. But he couldn't. You weren't his and he still wasn't sure if you wanted to be.

Your voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

"Stop me if this is inappropriate, my king", you murmured after you had stood up and were now mere inches away from his face, brushing his hair back to clean his forehead.

He gulped, trying to ignore how nice you smelt, even during times of war and blood and how the use of his title didn't make him uncomfortable when you said it.

"No, this is nice", Aragorn finally replied and mentally scolded himself for sounding so unsure.

When you were done cleaning his face, you put the bowl down and turned back around to him.

"I can get you some more water if you wish to remove the blood from your chest."

He didn't want you to leave, but it would be selfish to ask you to stay when there were others who might need your assistance, so he shook his head.

"I am well enough, thank you for your help."

You tilted your head, eyes locking with his.

"You are too stubborn for your own good", you sighed. "Go and prepare what you have to, let us help the others, but tonight", you pointed at his chest, "tonight, we'll take a look at your torso."

Aragorn tried to surpress his smirk, failing miserably. "Yes, your majesty."

You rolled your eyes, a fond smile on your lips.

+1

The fight was over.

Aragorn wasn't sure how to feel when all he's ever really known was blood and war and his own swords clashing against the enemys' weapons.

But it was over.

The ring had been destroyed and by some miracle, most of the good ones had made it out alive, you included.

His heart felt suddenly very heavy as his eyes landed on your form, not knowing how you envisioned your future now that the quest had been completed.

Your eyes found his and without thinking, you ran over to the king, throwing your arms around his neck.

"We won, Aragorn", you whispered into his ear and hugged the man even tighter.

It was hard to ignore the happiness bubbling up in his chest as he felt your body against his and the joy in your voice in his ears.

"My darling", he whispered and your heart skipped a beat, "stay with me. Stay by my side and let us, together, create a world of peace for the people now and the generations that will follow."

You stared at him, not believing your own ears.

Aragorn understood your silence as reluctance and took a step back.

"It seems I have misunderstood the situation when I believed you wanted to be mine as well, I apologise for the-"

Your lips crashed against his.

"No, my king." You let out a breath of relief. "It was me who did not believe your heart could want me in that way. For as long as you want me, you will have me. I'm eternally yours."

This time it was Aragorn who pressed his lips against yours, making you lose your mind with a single gesture.

"Aye, took the lad long enough to make his move", Gimli said and looked up at the elf who eyed his new-found friend.

"I told you though. They would end up together eventually."

Just like destiny intended.

[yeollie-plz]

Let Me Go

Joel Miller x GN! Reader

Synopsis: Six reasons you wanted Joel Miller and one reason he wouldn't have you.

Genre: Angst, with some fluff for backstory purposes

Warnings: age gap, heart break, cuddling, mentions of fighting

Gif credits to owners!

When you had met Joel, he was this tough guy with a rough exterior. But as time went on there was something warmer about him. Something almost comforting.

This comfort soon turned into reliance and then dependence and sure enough you were in love with the older man. It wasn't just one thing that had led to the fall, actually it was six. You had counted them all, it was exact. Just like his exactly one reason to not have you. The one reason he broke your heart and ignored what he truly felt.

One: Little Gestures

The two of you had met in winter, the snow was falling lightly onto the streets of the Boston QZ. You were freezing, still not used to the chill of the winter air. Not to mention your jacket was thin.

You had met Tess a few times, traded a few things. But you had yet to meet her "guy". This "guy" was Joel, someone she had formed some sort of attachment to. This time Tess had brought Joel along.

He didn't say much, didn't really even make eye contact with you. Instead he sat there, scanning the surroundings.

You shivered slightly as a gust of wind passed the three of you. Not thinking much of it, you continued your conversation. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed something grab Joel's attention as he sauntered off to investigate it.

When he returned, he passed closer to you dropping the jacket that was once donned his shoulders onto your own. Your eyebrows furrowed at the gesture and when you went to question him, he had once again disappeared somewhere. So instead, you gladly accepted the thicker material and its collection of body heat.

You also accepted the flutter in your heart the gesture had given you.

Two: Eyes

Number two was a pair of things: his eyes.

The brown orbs held so much pain, yet every time they passed over5 you there was a softness behind them. It was like he could read everything your mind was trying to tell him. Sometimes they were even trying to scream out to him.

You never needed to bring up the hard stuff to Joel, he just knew. He knew you had pain just like he did. He knew not to dwell on those facts. They were the past and although he didn't see his future he knew yours was as bright as your eyes.

Three: Protector

Tess told you Joel was a protector. He'd do anything for the people he cared about. Even more for those he loved.

"This is why he's so good to have around." She told you. You had always thought there was something between her and Joel. That was until she told you otherwise.

One night you had gotten yourself into a little bit of danger. Some guys were trying to rough you up for some ration cards and luckily Joel happened by the situation. He fought off the men and walked you home.

You were now safely inside your apartment and about to close the door, when Joel held it open with his hand. He looked like something was on his mind.

Neither of you said anything, just held eye contact. Until he finally sighed and let go of your door, leaving.

A few days later you had a meeting with Tess. She brought up the events of that night, apparently Joel had told her. She laughed as she recounted the way he told it.

"I don't know what spell you casted on him but he's entranced with you."

Four: Listener

Joel wasn't much a talked, but he would always listen. You had always had an inquisitive mind. When the world was normal it used to bother your parents and friends, even your teachers sometimes.

But all your questions never seemed to bother Joel. He would sit and listen to them all, even when he didn't have the answers. Even when there was no answers to be given!

And in the rare times he did know a thing or two he would respond, gaining a huge smile from you.

These were the times his heart fluttered.

Five: Cuddles

I know what you're thinking! Joel Miller, a cuddler? You didn't believe it either. But after one particularly long night, you had both fallen asleep on his couch.

There was still a bit of a chill in the air, so naturally your body had gravitated closer to his in search of some warmth.

You were never sure whether it was a conscious decision or not but by the time you woke up the two of you were intertwined together. And this became a habit of yours.

Even when it was no longer cold out, the two of you would cling to each other.

Six: Pretending

After a few months of hanging more with Joel and Tess, they invited you to meet Bill and Frank. It was nice to get out of the QZ and have a normal meal like the whole world wasn't a complete shit show.

At one point you had found yourself inside with only Frank. You had insisted on helping to wash the dishes. While scrubbing a plate, you had caught a glimpse of Joel through the window. Craning to get a better look, you smiled to yourself. All of a sudden Frank laughed, causing you to look over at him.

"What?" You questioned.

"You two are so in love with each other and neither of you see it. It's just funny."

Your eyebrows furrowed and before you could contest, Joel walked into the kitchen.

"Why don't you two go and chat with Bill and Tess? I'll finish this up." He suggested, holding eye contact with you.

Joel wouldn't take no for an answer and ushered the two of you outside. Only to stop you before you made it out the door. He bent down and tied your shoe lace, you hadn't even noticed it had come undone.

Across the room you heard a throat clear and your eyes met Frank's. He gave you a knowing look, mouthing a "see".

One: Heart

The very foundation of a human is their heart. If it stops beating, you no longer have a living being. Only a body.

Joel told you once that his heart had stopped beating a long time ago. And when he was about to leave he told you again.

"I haven't had a heart in years. I haven't felt anything in years. Only pain. Only desperation. But I met you and I had felt my heart beating again. It skipped a beat or two a few times." He let out a small laugh before continuing.

"But I'm not what you deserve. I'm not what you need. I've lived a life and yours is barely starting. You have a beating heart, mine is more like Frankenstein, stitched together."

You couldn't help but to correct him, "Frankenstein was the scientist."

He took a deep breath in, "Then I'm the monster and you're Frankenstein, you stitched me back together."

"But I don't understand, if I've done all this for you, why are you leaving?"

"I can't watch your heart stop beating because of me!" He almost shouted at you.

"You leave and it will stop!" Okay, you were shouting. Grabbing his shirt, pleading him to make eye contact with you.

"I need you to let go. Let me go, Y/N." Finally his eyes met your own and you knew that the man you had fallen in love with was no longer yours.

You had six definitive reasons why you loved Joel Miller, but he had only needed one to leave.

[wimbledon2008]

so i just finished the captive prince series about a week ago and am rereading it now. just finished the hello lover scene and honestly im still so confused over what's going on in laurent's head lmao like??

was he previously compartmentalizing his resentment so well that real feelings developed, but now he finally has a chance to truly let his anger out, he's locking down the positive feelings?

was he being truthful about manipulating damen the whole time (highly unlikely to me)? or was the cruelty in and of itself a play, either to push damen away despite not actually wanting to, or some other convoluted reason? bc damen really would have done anything he asked, trying to outmaneuver him like that was unnecessary.

my first theory feels the most right to me, and he just needed more time to process and purge his desire for revenge but idk im a taurus and very akielon coded. i love laurent but i do not understand that man lol

okay, disclaimer, i haven't read the books in quite some time so this probably isn't the fullest or deepest analysis. i welcome any additions or corrections from those who are better at meta than me <3

so the hello lover scene is incredibly complex and nuanced, a standard of pacat's writing that makes his works so infinitely re-readable. based on my personal understanding of the scene, there are a few key things that help to explain why laurent behaves the way he does in the tent scene:

1. laurent needs damen and the akielons to win against his uncle, which he very much wants to do. charcy didn't go how he'd originally planned, and he knows damen is pissed about it and probably thinks the worst of laurent right now - that he intentionally abandoned the akielons at charcy for his own purposes. so laurent is being manipulative; he is trying to outmaneuver damen. because what damen says is true: laurent has no allies, no friends, he's ruined his reputation by aligning himself with akielos, etc. we as the readers know that damen cares deeply for laurent and wouldn't just abandon him, and if laurent simply explained what happened and asked damen to help him, damen wouldn't hesitate to stay at his side. but laurent doesn't think damen has any reason to trust him, so laurent can't trust damen either. so instead of being honest, he chooses to be cold-blooded, to assert control over the situation and force damen's hand to ensure that the alliance he worked so hard to establish stays intact. he could've just asked, but this is laurent, and there are other factors at play, such as the fact that

2. laurent is already in love with damen by the tent scene, or at least most of the way there. but laurent can no longer pretend damen is anyone other than the person who killed his brother. damen walks into that tent as prince damianos, in full akielon regalia, covered in blood, with a sword. laurent has been doing some aggressive compartmentalizing, especially in order to have allowed himself to sleep with damen. who killed his brother, which was the inciting incident that made laurent's life a living hell. laurent has not forgiven damen for auguste, and he's having to really confront that hatred and anger for maybe the first time since the first book. and laurent is also punishing himself for caring for and sleeping with damen, his brother's killer. can you even imagine? it's better not to. laurent probably hates himself as much as he hates damianos in that moment. so he shoves all those glimmering, positive feelings down because he wants to hurt damen, and himself too. and none of this is particularly rational because

3. laurent is very upset at the beginning of king's rising. this is an understatement. he's still reeling from nicaise's death, which he blames himself for, he's losing damen, the only person he trusted, he was recently stabbed, and everything is spiraling out of his tightly held control. and when laurent is upset he's cruel. he's not at his best in the tent scene. he's clinging to his own self-preservation, and he's making it up as he goes along because whatever his original plan was got blown to hell, which is clear because he's saying shit that doesn't even make sense. see, e.g., this post about him allegedly enduring damen's "fumbling attentions" to win a battle he didn't even know about at the time. while laurent is being cold and ruthless to secure his position as best he can (see no. 1), he's also acting from a place of emotion instead of strict rationality, which is how he typically operates, and how he prefers to act. he's on the defensive, he's deeply confused and unable to cope with all of his conflicting feelings about damen, and he's lashing out - protecting himself before damen can hurt him first. and then damen literally sticks his thumb in his stab wound. basically: our boy laurent's going through it in a major way.

going back and re-reading your message i realize i've essentially just reiterated everything you initially said but with a lot of extra words. so i guess the long and short of it is: you're right. honestly there are so many ways to interpret the tent scene and everything else laurent says and does, which is what makes him so fascinating! so thanks for giving me the opportunity to dive back into his psyche for a little while <3

[lakesbian]

okay so 2.8. overall thoughts on rachel's introduction.

rachel not wanting a fifth person to join the team is ostensibly about the money she would lose from it, but it's more importantly about the fact that, as a disabled girl deeply unwanted by society, she has absolutely no trust in people. she can tolerate brian, lisa, and alec for the sake of the security and stability, but she doesn't trust them beyond the bare minimum. a strange person being brought into her house is deeply scary. she's used to every single new person she meets being a threat, someone with motives she can't read expecting her to operate based on arbitrary rules she can't understand. and because she has been taught that the only way to keep herself safe is to hurt people before they can hurt her (everyone will always want to hurt her), her immediate reaction to taylor Being There is to sic her dogs on taylor with hopes of scaring her off & securing her environment again. rachel autism lindt <3

brian is the second person we see breaking out the not-so-repressed violence and anger in this scene. he clocks rachel in the face, he says

“I fucking hate it,” Brian growled at the girl, putting emphasis on the swear, “When you make me do that.”

and he does some yelling about God Fucking Dammit. i think the crux of brian is that he consciously fervently does not want to be like his abusive stepfather, but the only alternative he's been taught was by his father...who is, unbeknownst to brian, also abusive. he's been taught that masculinity = good + mandatory and strength = masculine. his vision for himself as a Good Man who Takes The Lead and Cares For People involves stifling his 'weak' emotions and running himself ragged. he's not even very good at repressing himself compared to the other undersiders, so he's prone to outbursts like this sometimes--where, regardless of whether or not the violence he's engaging in is rationally justifiable, it's immensely charged w/ undertones of reminding him of exactly who he wants to avoid being.

it is Fully Understandable why, as a 17yo w/ zero training in conflict deescalation, the only way he can think to solve the matter of rachel violently siccing her dogs on someone is socking her. but "i fucking hate it when you make me do that" is still eerily reminiscent of some things his abusive stepfather has likely said to him before. he doesn't Want to be like that, but he doesn't know how to let himself be anything other than that.

(this situation w/ rachel and taylor sucks for him, ftr. he was so genuinely elated that he'd Acted Normal Enough to snap up this cool addition to the team, a girl with a good power who actively thinks along the exact same rational lines as him. which is important, because he needs the undersiders to succeed so that he can care for aisha like he feels he needs to. and then rachel busts in ruins what he's viewing as this great success by attacking taylor to drive her off. brian laborns bad day. rachel lindts bad day. tayor heberts bad day. lisa wilbourns deeply stressful day. alec vasils depression slump day.)

AND we get to watch taylor be violent and angry as well. that one is very simple there's not much to say about it. she's full of violent repressed anger (it's why she imagines beating the shit out of emma & co when she's being bullied in the halls prior to meeting the undersiders again), she usually holds it back because she recognizes that it would just cause the system to fuck her over more in the long-run, and here she realizes that there's no consequence of fighting back and proceeds to whale on rachel.

(i think that the reason she's primarily violent with her own human body here instead of w/ the bugs is because her usage of the bugs is frequently a form of dissociation--and here, rather than having to dissociate her way thru a violent situation, she's finally allowed to confront it head on and fight back w/ hands and feet As Herself. sucks and traumatizing to be attacked by dogs, but cathartic to be able to fight back.)

meanwhile: lisa is presumably vividly imagining slamming her own head into a brick wall and alec (badly depressed, seen far worse) doesnt even care with all the shit he's got going on

[vilevenom]

I asked for a sad prompt, and MAN, did you deliver, @bitterbunny07! I'm definitely still working through some writers block, but it felt so good to get this done within a couple of hours. So, yeah, obvious trigger warning: mentions of miscarriage. Nothing is described, however.

Enjoy!~

This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. After everything he'd already gone though, how could this be happening?

Branch's ears were ringing. He knew Poppy and the doctor were talking to him, but he couldn't hear them. He couldn't breath.

~

Branch hadn't seen Poppy in a week. He knew she'd brought him back to the bunker after the doctors appointment, and he was pretty sure she'd come by the bunker once or twice since then, but he hadn't seen her. He made point of staying holed up in his room, only venturing out once in the last week to grab a few rations from his pantry, though he barely touched them. He felt like he didn't deserve to. Not after…that.

So, it was a little surprising when he heard a knock on his bedroom door.

"Poppy?" he asked, his voice slightly croaky from crying near endlessly over the last week.

"Sorry, bud," a much deeper voice than Branch had been expecting said, before the bedroom door opened to reveal his oldest brother, "But she did ask me to come check on you."

"I don't blame her," Branch sniffed, rubbing at his eye and hunching his shoulders under the pile of blankets he'd buried himself under, "For not wanting to see me."

"Hey, now," John Dory scolded quietly, moving across the room to sit on the edge of Branch's bed. He reached out and gently pulled the blankets away from Branch's head, revealing the starkly grey face below. "Who said she didn't want to see you? That has nothing to do with it. She's worried about you, Bitty B, but she thought you wouldn't want to see her."

"Why would she think I didn't want to see her? I'm the one who…I…our egg," Branch choked on his words, covering his mouth with a hand as he gagged. John Dory reeled back quickly, glancing around and snagging a waste basket from near the bed as Branch dry heaved into his hand.

"It's okay, B," John soothed, holding the bin near Branch and shifting so he could rub his baby brother's back. Or, at least, where he assumed his back was through all of the blankets. "Let it out."

"I-" Branch began, only to snag the bin from John's hands and heave into it, what little contents he had in his stomach escaping in a mad dash.

"That's it," John hummed, wrinkling his nose at the retching sounds, but otherwise doing his best to stay calm and soothing.

Once Branch was done he sat back, settling the bin in his lap as he wiped the back of his hand over his mouth as a quiet sob bubbled up from his throat. "Why did this happen?"

The nearly inaudible question caught John Dory a bit off guard, but he collected himself quickly, taking the waste basket from Branch and setting it on the floor so he could gather his littlest brother and all of his blankets into his arms. "I can't answer that, Bitty B. I'm sorry."

"I did everything right," Branch sniffed, leaning into John, "I took all the vitamins, I was careful with my hair. We sang to it every day…But it still-it still died."

John gave Branch a squeeze, nuzzling his chin gently into the top of his brothers head, where he knew the egg once sat. "Sometimes…sometimes these things just happen. Without rhyme or reason."

"That's not good enough!" Branch suddenly snapped, wrenching himself out of John's grasp, his blankets falling down around his waist as he turned a tearful, angry scowl on his brother. "There has to be a better explanation! Even the doctor couldn't figure it out! It's not fair!" Branch hiccupped, his anger quickly burning out as tears he should, by all rights, be too dehydrated for began to tumble down his cheeks. "It's not fair."

"I know, Branch," John sighed, reaching for his brother again, only to have his hands slapped away.

"How would you know?! How could you possibly know what this feels like?! This-this awful, hollow feeling from knowing that, no matter what you could've done, no matter how much you wanted it, that your body rejected and killed something so defenseless? Something so small?"

John let his brother rage at him, a look of sympathy on his face. He let out a quiet little sigh, before digging into his hair and producing three small photos. He looked them over for a moment, before holding them out to Branch. His younger brother took them with a confused frown, his nose wrinkling as he tossed the photos back towards John after glancing at them briefly.

"Are you trying to rub something in my face?" Branch snapped, watching as John quickly and reverently picked the photos back up.

"No," John sighed, brushing his thumb over the edge of the photos, "They were mine."

Branch opened his mouth to snap at his brother again, only for his brain to lethargically catch up to what he just saw and heard. John didn't have kids, but he had pictures of eggs. "…Were?"

"Yeah," John gave a little nod, a sad smile on his face as he fanned the photos out and tipped them so Branch could see them again, though he did not offer them back over. "I didn't actually get a picture of the first one, since I sort of blacked out? And my partner at the time took the egg before I could do anything, but…yeah. I took a pictures of the rest. None of them survived past week three."

"I…John," Branch began, eyes wide as his brother tucked the pictures back into his hair.

"Hey, this isn't about me. I just wanted to let you know that I get it. I've been where you are. It's hard, and nothing I say or do will probably ever make you feel better. But, I just want to let you know I'm here. And so is Poppy," John said as he reached out to gently squeeze Branch's knee.

"When were they?"

"Hmm?"

"The eggs. When were they?"

"Oh," John sat back and fidgeted slightly. "Probably in my mid to late twenties? My partner was really, uh, affectionate, let's just say, but not…they weren't really present. It was a fair few years after the band broke up, and I made some really piss poor life decisions."

"And you wanted them?"

John sighed, rubbing at his face, before slumping over to lean on the headboard of Branch's bed, a far away look on his face. "So much. My partner sucked, but I loved kids. And, honestly, thinking I was gonna get to raise a kid of my own, it made me feel like I was getting a second chance to be better. I messed up so bad taking care of you guys, I thought it was the universe giving me a another chance. But that…well, obviously that wasn't really the case."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey!" John sat up, reaching out to tug Branch into a hug, glad that this time his brother fell into his chest without complaint, "Again, this isn't about me. This is about you."

"But…I couldn't imagine going through this again, and again…how did you manage?" Branch murmured, turning his face to bury it against John's shoulder.

"Honestly? I didn't. I wallowed a lot, and I just sort of floated through life. Pretty sure I was grey for a good chunk, too? I honestly don't really remember much. All four of them happened within the span of, like, two years."

"…If I ever find out who your partner was during all that, you know I'm going to send the K-Pop and Reggaeton trolls after them, right?" Branch muttered, half muffled by John's shoulder.

John snorted, rubbing Branch's back as he chuckled. "Yeah, I'm not gonna tell you that. Plus, I would have to honestly say that, with the amount of, mmm, illicit activities they enjoyed, I wouldn't be surprised if time already beat you to that punch."

They sat quietly for some time, John quietly humming as he stroked his fingers up and down Branch's back, while his shoulder became damp with his youngest brothers silent tears. Finally, when he deemed a sufficient amount of time had passed, and his knee began to protest the way he was sitting on the edge of the bed, he gently pushed Branch back so he was sat up. "How're you feeling now?"

"Horrible," Branch stated bluntly, sniffing rather loudly and earning a soft smile from his brother.

"Yeah, I could've guess that," John chuckled, offering Branch a handkerchief from his hair, "You look like garbage. But, do you think you're feeling well enough to see Poppy?"

"…Does she really want to? See me, I mean?" Branch wiped at his face, while he glanced at the fingers of his free hand. "I'm even grey again. This isn't what she signed up for."

"I think you should probably let her decide what she signed up for, Bitty B," John murmured, standing up from the bed and letting out a groan as his back cracked and his knee popped.

"Yeah," Branch sighed, absently wringing the handkerchief in his hands. "You can tell her, whenever she wants to, she can come over. We should talk about this."

"That sounds good," John hummed turning his head slightly, "You hear that, your highness?"

Branch jerked in his spot on the bed, turning wide eyes on his bedroom door as Poppy pushed it open, a bashful, tired little smile on her face as she waved at Branch. "Sorry, I-I really didn't know if you'd want to see me? And you were so sad, so I knew you needed someone to talk to, but I didn't think it being me would've been a good idea, and I couldn't think of anyone else you would let in here, let alone actually talk to, so I just-"

"Poppy!"

Branch let out the first quiet laugh he had in over a week as Poppy's mouth snapped shut with a click of her teeth, while he lifted the blankets in a silent offer to the queen of pop. She let out an audible sob, before rushing the bed and snuggling up into Branch.

"Yeah. You kids'll be okay," John muttered to himself, turning to let himself out of the bedroom as the two began to speak in hushed tones to each other under the blankets.

"John, wait!"

John Dory paused in the doorway, turning a curious glance back at his brother, who was already beginning to look a bit lighter. Not blue, not even close, but not the dark charcoal grey he'd been moments before. "Yeah?"

"Thank you. For being here, and talking to me."

"Whenever you need, you know where to find me," he said with a small nod, before heading out the door.

[whackk-kermitt]

Genre: Daryl Dixon Headcanons Pt.2

Warnings: None

Pronouns: GN!

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵

Daryl Dixon does not get jealous.

Absolutely not.

So if he happens to notice you laughing a little to hard while chatting with Rick that’s not his business.

If you wanna sit by Glenn at the campfire instead of him, that’s your loss.

The fact of the matter is he doesn’t give damn what you do and who you do it with.

Except he can lie to himself all he wants but you read him like a book.

He always does the same shit, huffing and rolling his eyes, brushing you off.

Part of you wants to fold and promise to never even look at another man.

The rational part of you knew if whatever you two had was going to last he needed to learn that just because you laugh at a joke doesn’t mean you wanna fuck them.

At first you’d seen nothing but a possessive angry man, but the closer you saw there was more to it to that.

So after a day of letting him avoid you, you’d gone to him in your tent, he was quite.

Clearly to tired to start anything up again.

You’d tried watching him and waiting for him to look back at you but he kept fining something to do to avoid having to look at you.

“Why can’t I do anything with anyone else without you thinking I wanna fuck them?”

“I don’t care what you want.” Was all he said.

You should have known what you’d signed up for with a stubborn man like him.

His words had been harsh and full of energy but his body language screamed that he was exhausted.

You'd waited for him to settle into his spot before you moved in.

That way he had no chance of getting away.

“You're a blind man, Daryl Dixon.”

It was every other day he found a new reason to think you were enraptured with someone else.

Even so, he never actually pushed you away or broke things off.

It took almost a whole winter of being with him for things to click I to place.

“Daryl, do you think I'm out of your league?”

He never stopped putting things in place in the cell he'd claimed, barely even glanced your way.

But you could see the tightness in his shoulders.

It was heartbreaking to think the man you'd grown to love had spent this whole time thinking he didn't deserve you.

He spent every moment you were laughing and smiling so sweetly at someone else thinking you only put up with him because there weren't many options.

He spent so much time wondering how on earth you settled for a grubby red-neck like him.

He was just happy you hadn’t be given up on him yet.

But with you asking that, he was afraid you were finally catching on that you could be doing better.

It made you angry.

You didn't hide it.

“Are you kidding me, Daryl? You think I'm settling?”

All he could do was shrug.

As much as he yells when he's angry, he clams up when he's on the receiving end.

Not to mention he was still convinced this was the “I'm not interested anymore.” talk.

“I don’t want anyone else, you’re it for me, Dixon. I’m happy when I’m with you, I’m safe. I don’t love anyone but you.”

It had been the first time ever that anyone ever said they loved him.

Not his dad, mother, never even Merle.

It didn’t sound real, but the way you latched onto him, holding him close and firm against you he found it hard to not believe you.

He didn’t say it back. No right away.

This whole loving someone thing was new and intimidating.

Not to mention his love language is not words.

He preferred to show you his affections by doing things for you, bringing you things from his runs.

He’d leave food out for you on the bedside table for when you woke up.

He’d rub your back at night if you were sore.

He’d bring you books and trinkets that reminded him of you.

Little things that showed you how much he cared even if he never actually said it.

All this time though, you said it.

You’d complement him and kiss his hands when you held them. Peck his cheek before and after runs.

Never his lips though, he wasn’t ready for that just yet; you could tell.

“I love you.” Was the first thing you’d say when you woke up beside him, and the last thing before you fell asleep.

“I love you.” When he did something sweet or when he just looked to cute and you just had to tell him.

It got to the point where if you went a little to long with out saying it he’d get worried you were mad at him.

He’d approach you like a lost puppy, you’d see him and smile, and he’d relax only a little.

Those were some of the only times he’d be the one to initiate a hug or something.

You’d swoon and say, “I love you, Daryl.” And he’d instantly be much happier.

You think with how often you told him that it would start to loose it’s value.

But it never did. Every time he heard you say it it felt like the first time.

It made his chest and face warm and he had trouble not smiling.

He felt like a child at a birthday party for god sake.

Even when you were angry, or just generally upset about something he said or did, you find it in your heart to still love him.

He couldn’t believe his luck sometimes.

It was one night, curled up in the bottom bunk together that he finally said it.

The Woodbury fiasco was over and done, and the citizens had moved into the prison.

There had been a close call in one of the fights, where you fell to the ground.

He watched you fall, and in his eyes he watched you die.

It took you only a minute to rip your sleeve and wrap the bullet wound on your leg.

You were up and shooting back before he had time to run to you.

He watched you like a hawk for days.

He’d pace and watch you from the courtyard out in the field doing some farming.

It’s all they allowed you to do with your leg still healing.

It had been long enough though that the wound was almost completely scared over.

But it had stuck with him.

He had nightmares here and there about you ending up like Merle.

He’d find you, unable to have saved you, you’d have turned.

Nightmares about not being able to put your corpse down, being your last meal.

It was that night that he woke from said nightmare. But you were their, curled up beside him, alive and well.

You stirred wake with his squirming and heavy breathing.

Neither of you said anything, you didn’t need too. He just held you tighter and threw those scary thoughts out the window.

He felt at home when he felt you press a gentle peck to his jaw, the only place you could reach from your position. 

He felt so warm and giddy inside.

You were safe and you loved him, that’s all that mattered to him.

He returned the favor by pecking your head.

After that the words just sort of fell out.

You didn’t wanna make it a huge deal and make him nervous so you just smiled and kissed him again.

“I love you too Daryl Dixon.”

After he said it that’s all you would say when he did something for you.

He’d bring you a plate and he’d sit beside you, eyeing you until you started eating. “I love you too, now eat something.”

He’d give someone a nasty look if they came across as rude to you, “You’re to sweet, I love you too.”

He was still insecure and easily got jealous, but now he didn’t yell at you or push you away.

He would sort of just wait for the day to be over so he could have you all to himself in your cell.

He wait for you to settle in before curling up in your chest and just bask in knowing you’d always have your arms open for him.

He knew there were better options: nicer people, easier people. People who didn’t punch first ask later, who didn’t look down on everyone and their mother for no fucking reason. People you were far more gentle and caring then he knew how to be.

You don’t have to tell him, he knew.

But if you were blind enough to only see him, he would keep his mouth shut just to keep you to himself.

Daryl was not at all a PDA person.

But if the air was tense, if you were nervous or worked up about something he didn’t hesitate to set a hand on your back or shoulder.

He just needed you to know he was there for you.

You knew, you knew that Daryl would die for you.

What Daryl didn’t know is that you, gentle loving Y/n, would go father.

If something were to happen to him, the anger and grief would likely drive you to madness.

You got so heated when you’d see someone look down on him for being the quiet reserved man he is.

You’d overheard a man from Woodbury talking up some shit about him.

“You think Dixon realized how nasty he looks?Looks like he’d been out in the woods fucking corpses he’s got so much shit on him!”

You didn’t know what he was talking about, but no way in hell anyone is saying fucked up shit about your man.

You wanted to cuss him out but it didn’t quite seem worth it.

Plus if you did no doubt Daryl would find and and overthink his appearance.

Like he needed another reason to hate himself.

You probably would’ve left it at that if the fucker did go and start a fight with Daryl the very next day.

You found Daryl getting a busted lip and bruised cheek looked at by Maggie.

You saw red, you wanted blood.

But that seemed a bit extreme, and Daryl needed kisses and snuggles to feel better.

So murder could wait.

You waited for that idiot to join you and some others on a run.

The fucker was gross and perverted. Making comments about some of the women back at the prison behind their backs.

He even admitted to stealing some chicks underwear when he was back in Woodbury.

So you hated this guy.

So when walkers came round a corner in a supermarket you guys were clearing you waited a bit longer to step in and help.

The man fell back, walked above him, biting down at his face, nearly getting him.

He looked over and saw you just watching, he begged.

It was when you knew he couldn’t keep it away anymore that you took care of it.

Your face was stoic but your eyes screamed murder.

What the hell did he do to you piss you off that bad?

He didn’t say anything when Glenn had come to see what the commotion was, making sure you guys were okay.

He didn’t say anything the whole ride back to the prison.

And he didn’t say anything when Daryl greeted you at the gates with a smile and a cheek waiting for a kiss.

It was then he realized what he did to deserve that.

Glenn mention to Daryl what he had pieced together.

Daryl didn’t know whether to be proud, worried, or horny for kisses and cuddles.

You going that far to stand up for him made parts of him stir.

He knew it would be so easy for him to do something like that for you, but the fact that you were apparently willing to to the same was fascinating.

That night he’d surprised you in bed by smothering you with kisses. He’d held you so close and played with you hair, saying “I love you.” Over and over.

It was a bliss he prayed lasted forever.

But it didn’t.

The next day was the day The Governor decided to return for his revenge.

Amongst all the chaos and death he lost you.

Didn’t see where you went, or if you got shot.

He screamed your name, searching the fleeing crowds for you.

He saw your shoe.

Laying on the ground with you nowhere in sight.

He scooped it up and cried your name a few more times before he couldn’t stick around any longer.

He found himself in the woods with Beth screaming and punching a tree.

He couldn’t breath he had been crying so hard.

He begged for you to be alive.

He needed you to be alive.

Losing you was killing him.

Part 3..?👀

•Kermitt’s Masterlist•

[zeyris-daydreams]

How would Tighnari react to a group of people bunny darling knows visiting her to find her not working anymore? And highly suspicious Tighnari “that doesn’t know where his worker went”

Tighnari knows this excuse isn't valid after a few times, as people demand answers. However how is he supposed to know? He wasn't with you, even Cyno testified that?

Plus, the fennec is known for kindness and care for people and the forest. That's why he has his vision, and surely Celestia would strike one who misuses such gift. Therefore, with Cyno's help, it's not hard to convince outsiders of your circumstances? Not to mention it's not that hard to make Collei accept the situation, if she found out. I mean, Tighnari is a good man.

She believes that he does what's necessary, and even so she avoids thinking about the topic. So when someone asked her as well, with guilt in her heart she'd cover for him. She believes he does this for a reason, and so does Cyno.

Tighnari and Cyno could plot up a story of you being eaten by the forest cats, cause you're a bunny. It's your bad for straying far. Hell, he'd bring your torn clothes to prove you were "dead", if they believe you "died" then they won't search for you either. And if that doesn't work, maybe Cyno can testify that.. well, you went away.

Honestly it's not that hard for these two to come up with some very convincing excuses, with Tighnari's knowledge of biology and Cyno's strategic mind? You're low-key kinda screwed. Even if you get out it's not like it will be for long, Cyno won't handle his friend being distressed for a prolonged period of time you see?

So, no one looks for you after they make up an excuse. This doesn't mean people aren't suspicious cause they are but with Cyno on the case they can hardly do any research about it? If Cyno didn't know and didn't help, Tighnari would take longer to take people off his tail. After all he'd just get stressed, and Cyno would just consider this rationally.

[amethystina]

In chapter 5 of Who Holds the Devil, Ga On doesn't send Elijah a picture of Komi and he wakes up to several messages from her being worried. At this time, what do you think was going on in Switzerland? Because if she was stressing out about it, do you think she spoke to Yo Han or not, and if so, what would be his reaction to this?

Hope you can recover well!

She eventually spoke to Yo Han about it, yes, but it took a while before she got worried enough to do so. She's used to Ga On working late sometimes and so at first she figured her reminders would be enough. Which means she sent the majority of the messages you can read in the chapter before she even considered going to Yo Han.

And, by the time she did, it was mostly because she realised that it was so late in South Korea that Ga On might already have gone to bed, and he still hadn't contacted her. Which she felt was very unlike Ga On.

As for Yo Han's reaction, there is, unsurprisingly, quite a big difference between what he chooses to show Elijah and what he's feeling internally.

He'd be pretty flippant with Elijah, downplaying the severity of the situation, telling her that it's probably nothing to worry about. Maybe Ga On was busy with something and his phone ran out of batteries, so he didn't get her reminders? Or maybe he just forgot? Yo Han can come up with several very rational and logical explanations as to why Ga On didn't send Elijah any pictures.

Basically, Yo Han would try to calm her down by pretending it's no big deal. And tell her to at least wait until tomorrow before she starts freaking out

Internally, however?

He'd be worried, too.

Because no matter what he tells Elijah, Yo Han knows that Ga On wouldn't just forget a promise like that. Ga On cares too much about Elijah to disappoint her. So something must definitely have happened, Yo Han just doesn't know what. And while Yo Han is well aware that the explanation might be perfectly innocent, his mind would also start spinning towards worst-case scenarios — because that's how he works. He needs to be aware of the possibilities and, if need be, prepare for the worst.

And, somewhere around there, Yo Han would be frustrated that he can't track Ga On yet. He already decided that he wants to long before this, but this is one of those things that helps him decide that, yeah, he needs to give Ga On something he can track sooner rather than later so this won't happen again. Yo Han has no idea where Ga On is and it's making him antsy as hell.

The closest he can get is to text Lawyer Ko and ask if Ga On was at work that day. But even if Lawyer Ko says yes, that still leaves far too many possibilities. A lot could have happened to Ga On in the hours after he left work.

But Yo Han would tell Elijah none of this, of course — especially since the crisis is averted the very next day. Nor would Yo Han ever mention it to Ga On. It's just one of those things that stays inside Yo Han's head and influences his choices later, but is more or less invisible to everyone else. Perhaps not so surprisingly, there are a lot of those. As Ga On has pointed out: there's always a reason for the choices Yo Han makes. And, sometimes, the information he's basing that choice on was gathered weeks, months, or even years ago.

That man's brain never stops processing x'D

I hope that answers your question! :D

And thank you so much for the concern 💜 Unfortunately, I'm not feeling the best right now (neither mentally nor physically) but I know it's temporary so I'm just trying to wait it out :)

[ride-thedragon]

I'm so tired of defending his ass

but it needs to be said the Daemon who leaves King's Landing with Nettles is not the Daemon who marries Rhaenyra on Dragonstone.

He has lost 4 kids that he either made or helped raise. His family is feeling the brunt of that grief. He lost a brother at the start of the war as well, his last immediate family member.

His wife is actively isolated in her grief.

A young girl who just lost her home and a friend is also grieving. They have shared grief over Jace and are sent away from anyone else they can connect to during such a tumultuous time in their lives. They literally have to depend on each other each day to search for Vhagar.

In the show, I don't think that Daemon, known reactionary and emotional man, will handle it well. He still hasn't processed his brother's death from the way he reacted to the news about it.

(Thinking Alicent committed regicide to crown her son while his brother was a visual representation of the fates from Hercules cutting the thread of life/ Choking Rhaenyra for rightfully implying that had her father trusted him as heir he'd have known the prophecy)

So, I don't think that well established characterization is going to change. He's grieving, he's going to continue doing it throughout the war, and when his wife isn't trusting him or going through their shared grief with him (completely justifiably) he's going to turn to someone we know is alone in her grief during the war when he's sent away with her.

Her isolation is juxtaposed with Addam's in the narrative because where he has Corlys, she has no one to go through the exact thing with.

I don't think she'll turn away from someone she can relate to in that moment.

I think there's a misguided attempt to devalue his characterization in Episode 10 in the fandom, and while I understand it because of ships, I don't think it's a good thing. It's only going to serve to disillusion viewers who ship Daemon and Rhaenyra currently into not caring for the setup, and if the writers pay the slightest bit of attention, which they seem to do, they'll push hard to make everyone understand that this is not happily ever after, or a fairytale with a perfect ending of dying as one's lover calls.

Writers , especially ones who have domain over ASOIAF lore, are going to break your hearts to draw thematic parallels to the original series. And because a lot of you seem to glide past simple themes, they'll need to double down to get their point across.

(They already had to in season one, and some of you still didn't get it. Like Nyra not being a man is the reason she's so readily usurped or Daemon not being rational in grief or Alicent stuck in a perpetual cycle of abuse that she's been conditioned to not escaped and perpetuate to others.)

This is not a fight for your favorite ship. Write fanfiction. Stop fighting character development and developing themes.

Stop making hard to hate Daemon because of misinterpretations and attempts to defy characterizations. I just want a safe space to hate him and love the women he'd have been with. (Lady Rhea safe space).

I'm not known for my Daemyra love by any means but I do understand why people like it and I'm not one to go out of my way to hate on it. (Nettles love isn't Nyra hate)

But I feel like the narrative about the show runners ruining Daemyra by doing the Nettles plotline is over done and not fair to people who like her, Daemon or their relationship. The show runners have made it very clear who this man is and fortunately have shown his selfish actions along with his good ones to show his nature.

(Laena was never the issue. Rhaenyra isn't going to be the issue. There's a common thread.)

Me to Targ / ASOIAF men.

[riwooga]

that bailey post is pure copium

It does have a healthy amount of denial I am not shy or ashamed about that 👀

But at the same time, I do not base my thoughts on nothing, I base it his dialogue and scenes partnered with a bit of psychology! And you know what I'll take this chance to ramble even more because I always have thoughts on DOL characters and their complexity

I am in no way shape or form saying that Bailey is thinking sunshine and rainbows and the stereotypical loving sighs everytime he thinks of PC-- quite the opposite 👀

I think, no matter what situation, you're literally not getting any cute loving relationship with Bailey, I think that man is too far broken, too guarded, too self-isolated. He'd not really allow it for himself, and if he did... It'd probably be deeply toxic and controlling. Because that's... What he knows.

I think the whole thing is, Bailey doesn't want a weakness. He doesn't want to have any of that kind of feelings (frankly he seems to try to be detached from feelings in general), and I think even /realizing/ having any sort of feelings like that would infuriate him to no end, he'd internalize it and it'd eat him up inside.

And with that being said, I do genuinely think he does have a soft spot for the PC. Again, not a cutesy "Oh I love PC so much!!" absolutely fucking not. And sure, you could say it's only because PC brings in the most money,,, but I think it's more than that.

I've already listed a few of my reasons in my previous Bailey post, but honestly even if we just look at personality...

I think the two big archetypes of PC-personality is the Defiant who looks Bailey in the eyes without fear, isn't scared of him, fights back, refuses to conform, and protects the others. A pain in his ass, a thorn that won't be pricked.

Or, the neutral-to-submissive type, who does as asked, helps everyone around the Orphanage, helps everyone around town, tries to keep hope and stay strong especially for the younger orphans. Someone i could see make him almost even more bitter.

And honestly... this is PURE speculation, because we don't know canonically Bailey's past yet... But I could straight up see that some of Bailey's speculated soft spot could come from seeing some of his younger self in the PC, maybe before the bitterness overtook him, before he became this hard shell that knew that the only way to ignore his own misery was at least captilazing on others, that the world would remain broken regardless of what he did.

Or maybe the version of himself he wished he could have been.

I am however simply speculating it could be something like that!! because genuinely psychologically pretty much no one turns out like him, without being deeply broken themselves.

But no to get back on the Bailey x PC dynamic

We know that everytime Bailey has shown these moments I've called attention to, they're almost immediately followed up by coldness.

Oh he came running because you screamed in the bathroom? Congrats you got slapped for wasting his time when there's nothing there. You managed to seduce him and make him admit he doesn't want you to leave? Yeah no you got shoved off him and kicked out of his office as soon as he was thinking rationally again.

-- and it's like that with everything when it comes to Bailey. Which is exact why I'll say again, Bailey is in no shape or form a lovesick puppy, and I don't think he realistically ever would be even if my speculated soft spot ever turned into something more. That man has stunted his emotions as what I would assume to be a survival instinct, recognized that emotions = weakness. Having people close = weakness.

But instead of continuously rambling on,, I'll sum it up and say that my conclusion is, that Bailey is a complex character there isn't a simple "Oh he's in love with the PC" or "Oh he doesn't care about anyone ever at all", it's much more complex than that. Just like I think a LOT of DOL characters are complex, which is part of why I love the game so much.

People definitely don't have to agree with me, and can absolutely say I'm in denial I'll accept that because even if it's denial I still love him 🤧