#this is NOT a coherent post but thats how liveblogs work!

[lakesbian]

okay so 2.8. overall thoughts on rachel's introduction.

rachel not wanting a fifth person to join the team is ostensibly about the money she would lose from it, but it's more importantly about the fact that, as a disabled girl deeply unwanted by society, she has absolutely no trust in people. she can tolerate brian, lisa, and alec for the sake of the security and stability, but she doesn't trust them beyond the bare minimum. a strange person being brought into her house is deeply scary. she's used to every single new person she meets being a threat, someone with motives she can't read expecting her to operate based on arbitrary rules she can't understand. and because she has been taught that the only way to keep herself safe is to hurt people before they can hurt her (everyone will always want to hurt her), her immediate reaction to taylor Being There is to sic her dogs on taylor with hopes of scaring her off & securing her environment again. rachel autism lindt <3

brian is the second person we see breaking out the not-so-repressed violence and anger in this scene. he clocks rachel in the face, he says

“I fucking hate it,” Brian growled at the girl, putting emphasis on the swear, “When you make me do that.”

and he does some yelling about God Fucking Dammit. i think the crux of brian is that he consciously fervently does not want to be like his abusive stepfather, but the only alternative he's been taught was by his father...who is, unbeknownst to brian, also abusive. he's been taught that masculinity = good + mandatory and strength = masculine. his vision for himself as a Good Man who Takes The Lead and Cares For People involves stifling his 'weak' emotions and running himself ragged. he's not even very good at repressing himself compared to the other undersiders, so he's prone to outbursts like this sometimes--where, regardless of whether or not the violence he's engaging in is rationally justifiable, it's immensely charged w/ undertones of reminding him of exactly who he wants to avoid being.

it is Fully Understandable why, as a 17yo w/ zero training in conflict deescalation, the only way he can think to solve the matter of rachel violently siccing her dogs on someone is socking her. but "i fucking hate it when you make me do that" is still eerily reminiscent of some things his abusive stepfather has likely said to him before. he doesn't Want to be like that, but he doesn't know how to let himself be anything other than that.

(this situation w/ rachel and taylor sucks for him, ftr. he was so genuinely elated that he'd Acted Normal Enough to snap up this cool addition to the team, a girl with a good power who actively thinks along the exact same rational lines as him. which is important, because he needs the undersiders to succeed so that he can care for aisha like he feels he needs to. and then rachel busts in ruins what he's viewing as this great success by attacking taylor to drive her off. brian laborns bad day. rachel lindts bad day. tayor heberts bad day. lisa wilbourns deeply stressful day. alec vasils depression slump day.)

AND we get to watch taylor be violent and angry as well. that one is very simple there's not much to say about it. she's full of violent repressed anger (it's why she imagines beating the shit out of emma & co when she's being bullied in the halls prior to meeting the undersiders again), she usually holds it back because she recognizes that it would just cause the system to fuck her over more in the long-run, and here she realizes that there's no consequence of fighting back and proceeds to whale on rachel.

(i think that the reason she's primarily violent with her own human body here instead of w/ the bugs is because her usage of the bugs is frequently a form of dissociation--and here, rather than having to dissociate her way thru a violent situation, she's finally allowed to confront it head on and fight back w/ hands and feet As Herself. sucks and traumatizing to be attacked by dogs, but cathartic to be able to fight back.)

meanwhile: lisa is presumably vividly imagining slamming her own head into a brick wall and alec (badly depressed, seen far worse) doesnt even care with all the shit he's got going on

[amberberrystar]

asc wind spoilers/kinda liveblogging reaction thread under the cut (if i formatted right)

breezepelt is so scrungle i love him and sun kinda bonding over their shit parents

absolutely love how shadowsight basically adopts frostpaw like he saw the trauma she went through and was like her. she's my bestie now. and puddleshine very begrudgingly accepts her and is like 'fine i'll help you' like he doesn't want to but actually does

sunbeam ily but please realize karenheart is a piece of shit who doesn't actually care about you

i absolutely adore bayshine. homie is ride or die. sunbeam was like 'i want to bring herbs to my mom' and my man immediately came up with a plan to get her out unnoticed i love him

if karenheart isn't dead by the end of the next book i'm gonna scream

also sunbeam being relieved that it would be jay and alder looking after karenheart in thunderclan??? girlie have you met jayfeather??? your mom wouldn't die from her infection bc they would kill each other

also it's been awhile since we had a 'cat gets held prisoner in another clan overnight' FAFO situation, welcome back old friend

also they really glossed over "jayf and alder spoke to leafpool" huh. like i get why but 🥺

re waffle and wasp eavesdropping, i love how jayf probably sensed them immediately but decided to wait for the best moment. the mans has impeccable comedic timing

wafflepaw!!! i'm glad night is his mentor, maybe he'll learn a few things lmao (but erins if you make him lose all of his angst i will be salty. let him stay a scrunkle like jayf)

and squirrelstar calling the haters out and saying that nightheart is building a legacy of his own had me 🥺🥺🥺 let him be free from the burden of being firefam hell yeah

nightheart is arcing i'm so proud of him. he's still scrungly and emo af and that better not ever change but my boy's growing up 🥲

also i love that he actually has a relationship with finchlight now

i love graypaw (thunderclan. god thats not confusing at all) sm already. little mans really wants to call the other clans stinky

not nightheart pranking the apprentices on day one this is why i adore him 'where do we start?' nightheart, with a shit-eating grin 'let's prank em' and then finch and bay said Yes to that idea

i just want to give frost a hug my god

lmao at sun: "your eyes are glowing like amber flames" my aroace girlie read that in a romance novel and thought it would work. at least she didn't say orbs

and our protags are all together now hell yeah. frosty and her adoptive parents ftw

frostwhistle ftw

if anything happens to mothwing i will kill everyone in this room and then myself

karenheart of course you're there

that was a wild ass ride i'll try and remember to post more coherent thoughts later

[my-apollo-gies]

Im gonna post my comment i left on @writing-hat’s new chapter of bbnb

GO READ THAT BEFORE READING THE REST OF THE POST SO YOU AVOID SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 16

this chapter was absolutely insane, amazing work hat!

OMG HAT THIS WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING JOLY SHIT i wish i could give you more kudos than just the one so, MILLIONS OF KUDOS TO YOU HAT!!! this took me around 45 minutes to an hour to read, thats when you know its a banger of a chapter!!! i may have been liveblogging my reaction to oli anyways here are my highlights:

THE BEGINNING WITH WU!? ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! insane over him remembering quite a bit of detail actually, sad that it means he died + the inclusion of HOW he died. nadakhan the bitchass motherfucker

KAI! holy shit hes so complex, hes so complex. love how you portrayed him this chapter. there were some parts i wanted to punch him and others where i wanted to scoop him into a gaint hug, poor dude. him and jay are both suffering omg

THE DETAIL OF THE OTHERS KNOWING THEYRE MISSING SOMETHING BUT NOT KNOWING WHAT?! FUCKING AMAZING. i love how your making them get affected by jays wish and how it worked

THE FUCKING CINNAMON CAKE?! love your writing of it, hate how jay is still so badly affected by nadakhan, nadakhan the bitchass motherfucker x2

ZANE! i loved him this entire chapter, he is so helpful to jay without even knowing what happened. hes so friend shaped (stole that phrase off oli, sorry oli)

I LOVE THE STORY WITH THE FORK AND THE MICROWAVE I NEED MORE SILLY JAY MOMENTS ISTG

AVA! AVA! AVA! WE ALL LOVE AVA SO MUCH (i should draw her 👀)

JAYS VISIT TO SOTO?!! i actually think soto is so funny, underrated character frfr. loved the bonding over hating nadakhan, loved the slight fear (?) when jay said he killed nadakhan with his powers

GIVE JAY MORE THERAPY

PLEASE

THE ENDING??!! JAY AND NYA ARGUING?! so sad to see them arguing, great plot point tho. you win some you lose some.

THE LIGHTNING STORM!! WU RECOGNISED THAT IT WAS JAYS POWERS?? THE SHIP GOING DOWN

stop leaving us on cliffhangers, hat

please

please

(if i keep going im gonna sound like sabrina carpenter istg)

OVERALL: FUCKING AMAZING CHAPTER, 100% WORTH THE WAIT!!! im definitely doing some more art 👀👀👀, and you WILL be hearing from me on tumblr!!!! im so mad that i fell asleep, i shit you not, ten minutes before this came out (it was like 1am in my timezone) i was going to stay up to read but im glad i didnt because i am (slightly) more coherent now than i wouldve been at 1:30 am. you’re gonna make me go insane hat, im obsessed with this fic so much!!!! (your insane and so am i)

expect more art coming your way, dude!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3