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random-mha-thoughts · 5 years ago

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Bully Part 2 (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Genre: Crack, fluff, slight angst, Baku-having-feelings-and-being-soft (bc that's totally a genre)

Sequel to Bully (part 1)

Word count: 2,319

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog

a/n: This ended up being longer and slightly more emotional than I expected. Seems like I’m following the trend of getting the BNHA boys to say what’s really on their minds (I’ve already done this for Todoroki in case you were wondering), so Baku will be ooc and soft here.

This came out later than I intended because...let’s just say I was having a mental breakdown over a really long and really naughty Todo fic here and I ended up calling my little cousin and crying and laugh-crying and shaking and losing my collective mind because none of my friends would know what I was going through. And I was in no headspace to write fluff afterwards, she had to force fluff headcanons into me to go back to normal. Yall should thank her. Enjoy~

None of us had any idea how or why Bakugou suddenly started acting this way. Apparently, he was completely normal until I walked in. All I did was open the door to the classroom, my gaze just so happened to land on Bakugou, and suddenly I heard loud stomps towards me.

I held out a defensive hand, ready to shoot out branches at him if he got too close. "Bakugou-" I threatened. And he did the unthinkable. He gripped me in a choke hold around my shoulders and neck.

Actually, no. He...hugged me?

My clenched fists and the hush that fell over the rest of the students told me this is the first time all day he's done something out of character, something I definitely wasn't expecting. We hadn't talked since I almost jumped out of a window last week. This entire week, he was ignoring me. I was preparing for the day he would finally confront me, and I pictured it would be an aggressive encounter.

This is far from anything I'd imagined.

I never ever thought this porcupine-head could even show affection, that he even has a single gene of softness in him. Yet he was embracing me tightly, nuzzling his face in my neck. The shock of it all made me freeze up and cast a sideways glance at Midoriya, who was just as freaked and confused.

"Get off, Bakugou, what are you-"

The boy lifted his head up, his scarlet eyes softened into fondness and a gentle smile on his lips made the rest of my words catch in my throat. This entire expression was foreign to all of us. His face can look like that?

"I missed you over the weekend."

My jaw dropped. HIS VOICE CAN SOUND LIKE THAT?? The smooth and sweet honey tone was way out of character for him.

But like hell I trusted any of this.

I wiggled my arms up to push his weight off me. "I don't know how you managed to become such a great actor," I succeeded in separating from his vice grip, "But if you think disorienting me like this can be some sort of revenge, you're sorely mistaken."

Bakugou tilted his head, resembling a sad puppy. "What do you mean?"

I straightened my uniform. "Nice try, I know you're just acting so you can, like, throw me off the building or something."

That seemed to hurt him, his jaw gaping open before holding my face in his calloused hands. "I'd never do that to you."

I quickly swatted his hands away, wary that he was about to blow my face off. "Don't. Touch. Me."

The boy froze in place, then rubbed the back of his neck. Regret seeped through his eyes as he stared at the ground. "I'm sorry, about everything."

A strange warmth rushed through me. Something about how genuinely vulnerable he looked shook my entire being.

"I just...really wanted you to give me a chance all this time, but I went about it the wrong way." He encased me into another bone-crushing hug. "But I want to make up for it."

I felt a thud in my chest, probably from fear that he might hurt me.

At that moment, the teacher walked in. "Alright everyone, take your seats." He noticed Bakugou's position, gawked for a second, and cleared his throat. "Uh, Bakugou, let go of (L/n) and take your seat."

"I dare any of you extras to yank me off, I'll blast you into next week!"

He's back, kind of?

Nobody made a move to do anything, they were all frozen by the sight of Bakugou clamped onto me like a koala.

"I'll survive...somehow," I assured them, unsure myself how exactly I would do that.

For the entire rest of class, the boy clung onto me. He had taken over the seat of the person who normally sat on my left and scooted the chair over so he can stay attached to me. Though I reasoned for him to hold onto just my arm (since he wouldn't let go no matter how many times I asked), he hugged my waist with both of his arms, face buried in my neck. I was just glad he left one arm for me to write notes with.

If this was just an act, he did a splendid job of keeping it up. I thought he would've given up after an hour or two, but he stayed like that even after lunch until the end of the day. Anytime anyone would even walk past us, he would glare at them until they scurried off.

It was super weird at first, but I got used to the arrangement somehow. I hate to admit it, but I even felt comfort by his warmth. His breath tickled my neck as his solid arms held me in a vice grip. I found myself hoping this wasn't acting, and thanking whatever miracle made this happen. This was never going to happen again, I might as well enjoy it for now.

"Back off, you damn Deku!" He bares his teeth at the cowering Midoriya, still attached to me at the hip.

I sigh, finally fed up with this whole ordeal. "Midoriya, I'll handle this, I'll call later."

The poor broccoli boy nods and scampers away from us. Bakugou insists on not letting go until I'm home safe, even when I repeated that I live in the opposite direction as him. He won't even let Midoriya near me.

I lead us both over to a bench outside of school. I'm still not convinced that this isn't an act, but I might as well try to talk to him after the incident last week. "Get off," I order, scooting over to one side of the bench. When he doesn't obey, I add, "I wanna talk, so I need to see your face."

After a brief moment of hesitation, he eases off my body, rolling up to sit facing me with a leg propped up on the seat. A dumb smile is on his face.

God, that still freaks me out. I stare at him calculatingly. He hasn't said a word to me the whole day, only barking at other students as he holds onto me. I want answers. "You're sure this isn't some stupid revenge plot to get back at me?"

He shakes his head, propping his arm up on the seat and resting his head there. His wordless, lovestruck stare probing me.

I sputter, "Why are you acting this way then?"

"I like you."

I almost choke at his quick response, my chest throbbing again. "S-Stop looking at me that way, I can't take you seriously! I admit, it's freaking me out!"

"My feelings freak you out?" he says sweetly, brushing the side of my face softly.

I slap his hand away, "You don't have feelings for me, just drop the act already!"

His smile disappears. "It's not an act, I'm being serious." Hurt laces his voice.

I cross my arms over my chest. "Yeah, well, it's very hard to take you seriously when you've been a heartless, pompous, mean jerk for all of middle school."

Bakugou's eyes downcast and his arm falls into his lap. "I...I don't know how else to show how I feel." Raw emotion drips from his eyes as he bites his lip, almost like he's gathering his thoughts. "I act like a jerk because... I just feel so pressured. Everyone expects so much of me just because my quirk is so strong." A dark chuckle emits from him, "Even my mom has ingrained it in me that I need to be strong so I don't burden anyone with being weak. So I've been projecting my frustrations onto everyone else. Deku is just the easiest person to pick on because he's the weakest person, he has no quirk! And I'm just self-centered because I have to tell myself that I'm strong or else...I might slip. Call it an inferiority complex, I guess."

I won't lie, I didn't go into this expecting a therapy session. Part of me does sympathize with him, but the rational side of me is still skeptical of this entire monologue being an act. I wouldn't put it past him for thinking up such an elaborate plan in a week. And none of it excuses him for telling Midoriya to kill himself. "Not that I don't believe you, but so what?" I blurt out.

He grabs my hand in both of his, eyes fully emotional and staring into mine. "I like you, (Y/n). I see how kind you are to everyone else, how you've stayed by Deku and supported him this entire time. I admire you. You're the kind of person who I know would become a great hero because you always know just what to say to people to make them feel better, not to mention you're so badass too. And...in a way, there's something in me that wants you to care about an idiot like me, too."

Tightness tugs in my chest. Damn it, he needs to stop being so emotional, I can't handle it. "I want to help you, Katsuki, but what you said to Midoriya crossed a line. I can't overlook that."

His head drops onto our joined hands and his body starts shaking. "Damnit!" he grits out, "I can't believe I've done so much wrong that the person I like can't even forgive me."

I shut my eyes, not wanting to see him cry. "Katsuki-"

Bakugou's head snaps up and takes my head between his hands. "Do you even have the smallest feeling for me?" His red orbs swim in tears.

A soft spot in my heart persuades me to gently rub the wet trails off his cheeks. "I'm...not sure." I won't lead him on, I really don't know how I feel anymore. It's that I hate him, I don't like the things he says or does.

"Help me, (Y/n)," he practically begs, "I'll become a better person, I promise, but I need you to guide me, please."

This sudden magnitude of emotion other than anger disorients me. Is this something he's kept locked away somewhere in the recesses of his mind? I absently nod in agreement against some of my better judgement.

His shaking form steadies as he stares me down quietly. "Can I...kiss you?" he whispers out of the blue.

My lips slightly part and my eyes widen as he leans into me, softly pressing his mouth against mine. Our kiss is innocent, as if time just stood still and washed a warm glow on us. My stomach flips weightlessly, and I gently grip one of his wrists to ground me. He pulls away just for a moment, letting us linger in the moment and sensation of one another.

His eyes flutter open, facing me with the same loveliness he's showed me all day, before confusion suddenly dawns on him, and then his cheeks color red and he pulls away, almost retreating to the other edge of the bench.

I blink, not sure what just happened, but the tumbling in my abdomen still present. "Uh...Bakugou...?"

The boy doesn't even want to face me. "Did I really just do that?" he mutters to himself, the raspy growl that's more characteristic of him returning.

My heart sinks. "Do you-?"

"Hey, don't look so upset," he glares at me before flushing again. "I...somehow...know everything I did... It was me...but it wasn't...really me."

"But everything you said-"

He growls and crosses his arms over his chest, looking away from me. "Everything I said was true! I just... I'm surprised I did it, and I was such a pansy about it."

I roll my eyes. He's back, for real this time. "Well, if that's the case, I won't hold you accountable-"

"Wait," Bakugou sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I stand by everything I said, even the whole...thing...about you helping me." It almost hurts him to say it.

I fold my arms over my chest and stand up. "You don't have to force yourself to be good if you don't want to. Things can go back to the way they were."

"I don't want it to!" he yells. "I'll work at being less of an idiot if it means...that you'll...go out with me."

I examine him, all red-faced and uncomfortable, unable to look me in the eyes. "I'm not gonna go easy on you."

He stands up and finally garners the courage to look at me again. "I'm willing. I'll try hard, I promise."

After thinking it over a moment, I relax my figure and place a kiss on his cheek. "That's your reward for consciously admitting that you have a problem."

Bakugou's eyes bulge out of his head and I have to suppress my chuckles. "Will there be more rewards?" he mumbles.

"Only if you really try." I lean forward, catching him off guard and finally letting out a small fit of laughter. "You know for most of the day, you were hanging onto me like I was you handbag, now you're shying away from me."

He scratches his burning neck. "Hey, that wasn't me."

"It was a you that probably showed your deepest darkest wants," I tease, a smirk playing on my lips.

"Sh-Shut up, don't be so smug about it!" He lightly shoves me away, digging his hands into his uniform pants pocket. "You're the one asking for it because you liked it, stupid."

"Ah-ah," I hold up a finger like a teacher reprimanding a kindergardener. "First thing is for you to stop calling people names."

He groans. "Fine. (Y-Y/n)." His cheeks color all over again.

I slip my hand in his and his blush intensifies. "Was that so hard to do?"

"Shut up," he mumbles softer this time.

He's a fixer-upper, he's still got a lot to learn, but hopefully, he'll get there eventually.

#Bakugou x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou fluff #bakugou katsuki #angst #crack #bakugou imagine #bakugou scenario #gender neutral reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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idontmeantosoundrudebut · 4 years ago

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Many of Horror (Chapter one: This secret goodbye)

Fandom - How to train your dragon (movie franchise)

Ship - Eretlout (+ background relationships)

Wordcount - 3748 words

Fanfic summary - Moving on is hard, especially from something that doesn’t want to be forgotten. But it’s easier when you have someone with you who understands that mind-scarring agony, it’s easier when someone will hold you in the dark when all the monsters come out to play, it’s easier when you’re loved. But Eret is going overseas and Snotlout is left alone in a cold bed.

The dream is back and he feels sick. Sick in the head. (I really can’t think of a good summary for this, so sorry my dudes)

Tags/Warnings for this chapter - Mentions of past child abuse

So I have yet to finish this Fic yet but I’m just so excited to show it to yall that i just had to give you a little teaser!!! This fic takes place a year after HTTYD3 but the dragons never leave and Stoick never died because Hiccup deserved a whole family for more than one day (Dreamworks, i’m talking to you asshole)!

Also please check out The colour of friendship by Sarahenany and The colour of family by Thurdsday26 on the Archive because it they are big inspirations for this fic and if you love Spitelout bashing and Snotlout whump and found family then, oh boy, that is truly the jackpot of all Snotlout whump fics! Also, the title of this fic is based on the song Many of Horror by Biffy Clyro and this to the first like three lines and you’ll understand why!

Please enjoy and give me any feedback that you have, negative or positive, do not hold back bitches!!!! Haha lol bruh

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Eret is leaving today, but he'll be back in a few weeks, a month maximum if the summer storms keep at bay (Ruffnut prayed briefly to Thor before bed last night. She doesn't know why; it was an impulse thing). He, along with six other crewmates, will be sailing far up north to the port-island he once called home to establish a trading route for Berk and to perhaps arrange a meeting between Chief Stoick and the chief of his native village. The Northmen are good people, Eret had reassured during a council a week back, who've long been held under the sole of Drago's boot and will gladly reward those who levered that pressure with both miscellaneous goods and a long-lasting alliance.

The only problem with this grand adventure is that they'll have to travel dragon-less.

The Northmen too have been terrorised by dragons for generations and they will not hesitate to net, bludgeon, and flay the first dragon they see, even if said dragon has a rider on their back. Act first and ask later kind of folk, a mindset which Ruffnut is very familiar with. Eret predicts that the concept of living with dragons in peace and harmony is one his people will be suspicious of for a time, but he assures that they'll warm up to it eventually. So, the first few trips will be dragon-less and slowly they'll weasel their Berkian values in, a very cunning plan indeed if Ruff didn't say so herself.

So today is the day of departure and she's on her way to the docks for the send-off, alone for a change. Tuffnut, eager to be out the house and tired of waiting for her to finish braiding her hair, had nabbed Barf and Belch and left her on her lonesome to walk. At first, she'd been peeved to all Hel, rightfully so, muttering to herself about how easier life would be without her dolt of a twin till she remembered just how peaceful, well, peace was. As vexing as Tuff is, Ruff cannot deny her sibling love for him, but she also cannot deny the simple serene beauty of silence.

She's striding down a street of huts, the docks insight, when she hears a terribly familiar voice.

"You better be back in two weeks, if you're not, I'm coming after you,"

Snotlout.

Ruff pauses mid-stride and takes a step back, looking into a narrow alleyway between two huts. She steps closer and presses herself against the left hut wall, slyly peeking her head out to gaze searchingly into the shadowed alley where she'd definitely heard Snotlout's voice. As mad as she is (and she is mad), she isn't to the point of hearing imaginary voices in the shadows (not for a few years, at least).

There. Stuck between a wall and a bulky silhouette, is the short and distinctive shadow of Snotlout Jorgensen. The figure Snotlout is pressed against lets out a hushed laugh, head bowing and if wasn't for that laugh, she'd definitely be able to identify him solely for the dark outline of his facial profile.

Eret, Son of Eret.

Oh, this... This is interesting, very interesting indeed.

"No promises, we might have to delay returning if we see a storm on the horizon," Eret informs and Snotlout makes a displeased snort, to which Eret adds in response, "But if we don't then, we'll be back as soon as we can. Snotlout, you won't even know I've left,"

"It already feels like you've left me," Snotlout murmurs, head hung low, and it catches Ruffnut by surprise, that statement because it's such a vulnerable thing for Snotlout to say and the way he says it, quiet and anxious, is so alien to her.

The use of the word "me" too, makes her mind turn and burn with theories because there is something so very deep in the small, added word. She doesn't know what yet, but there is something painfully human about it.

Ruff watches the shadowed duo, transfixed as Eret lifts a hand to Snotlout's chin, tipping his head up so that they are looking at each other.

It's such an abnormal gesture for her to witness, especially between two people with whom she's never associated such tenderness before.

Eret has always been this tall, handsome, foreign stranger with a silky voice and a self-assured walk, who is as handy with a sword as he is on a boat, who's always there to help and give back to the people who gave him a better life. Snotlout has always been this hot-headed, confident loudmouth who is way too short to be as brave as he is and is way too good at singing for Ruff to admit, who's full of unyielding loyalty and howling laughter. But most importantly, they hate each other.

Or, now that she thinks of it, they did hate each other.

The last few months have been lacking the usual rivalry between Snotlout and Eret and she doesn't know why it's only hitting her now. At some point, they two of them became friends and she's pretty sure she isn't the only one who hasn't noticed, which is so peculiar because she, and the others, have seen the two of them hanging out at the sawmill and flying together at dusk to light the torches. Gods, they drank with each other last night and there hadn't been a single crass word spoken. When did this happen? She and the rest of Berk have gone blind!

"Snotlout, I'll be back. Soon. I can't promise you when, but I'll be back, and next time I go north, you can come with me," Eret assures, and though Ruff can't see Snotlout's features, she can feel the atmosphere lifting and hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah?" There is something so hopeful and childish in the way he breathes that word, something that tugs at Ruff's heartstrings.

"Yeah, I'm sure I can convince Hiccup to spare you of your very honourable duties for a few weeks,"

"Hey, shut up!" Snotlout's foot jerks out sharply to jab Eret in the ankle, the former laughing breathlessly in response, "My work is honourable, okay? Someone has to test all those crazy weapons Hiccup cooks up and I'm the only man for the job, no one else is as brave as I am," He exclaims, all confident and cocky and familiar to Ruffnut.

"You're sure right about that," Eret says as he again raises his hand and, this time, it comes in contact with Snotlout's cheek, she can see the faint movement of his thumb smoothing over the skin beneath his eye. His voice is awfully soft with a terrible fondness that Ruffnut sometimes hears in Hiccup's voice when he speaks about Astrid or vice versa, it's a tone that she automatically links up to people who are fiercely in love.

Oh, Freya, they're in love.

"You gotta head down to the docks, Eret, you'll be late to leave... or whatever," Again, that insecure whisper is back and by Gods, it sounds so brittle and shaky that Ruff almost considers the thought that Snotlout might be crying.

She would be if she was about to be separated from her lover for an unknown amount of time, Ruff ain't afraid to admit that, but if Snotlout is afraid of anything, it's expressing feelings and emotions (He's afraid of proving he's human, proving he's weak). But then again, maybe it's easier for Snotlout to air out his inner thoughts in front of Eret because, well, they're in love and to be so intimate with someone, they're eventually going to see all the ugly parts that you hide beneath the pretty façade. Eret has probably seen the old insecurity they all know that still lurks deep inside Snotlout, raw and unfiltered, a thing from his youth that made him angry and afraid, a thing that was just as damaging as the scars on his flesh.

Ruffnut, nor anyone else on Berk, will ever forgive Spitelout for what he did to Snotlout. She will gladly say that the day he was exiled was the best day of her life and she will not be alone in the statement. Cruel, merciless, cold-blooded bastard deserved to be Blood-eagled if you ask Ruff and Tuff (probably Hiccup too, no one was more enraged than he was.)

(Ruff has never been afraid of Hiccup, except for once. He's far too lanky, too merciful, too kind, to be a scary guy. But that day, when Snotlout had lifted his tunic in the clubhouse and revealed the ivory scars that were striped across his back and chest, she'd taken a step back at the sight of the inferno that had kindled in his eyes, at the sudden look of mercilessness that had steeled his features, at the trembling fists clenched at his sides. He looked like a man ready to kill, like a man ready to burn then world to the ground, like a man ready to give it all up just for revenge. She was afraid of him that day. So, so afraid that she had nightmares about him for days afterwards.)

"I'll be a bit late, the lads won't mind," Eret says lowly, drawing Ruffnut from her walk-in memory-lane, and she feels her heart tug as he bows his head to press against Snotlout's, "I'll stay here. With you,"

Forehead touching, especially in Viking culture, is the tenderest way to touch the ones who mean dearest to you. Be it a lover, a blood-relative, a shield-brother, anyone who is buried deep in your heart. And here, in the shadows of an alley, hidden and quiet like a forbidden dream, two people hold each other. Soon, they will have to let go and isn't that the most heart-breaking thing? Letting go?

Her heart feels too big for her chest and she almost feels like a changed person by witnessing this, witnessing something she was never meant to see. Will love be like this for her too? Terribly tender and awfully soft? She doesn't know, Gods, she shouldn't be here.

Ruff tries to drag herself back but she's like a moth to a flame, unable to pull herself away from this blindingly beautiful display of love, so raw, so real. She never imaged Snotlout to fall so easily to soft caresses, but of course, he would. It is always our deepest wants that will bring us to our knees and all Snotlout has ever wanted is love, a gentle hand, a place to bury his heart.

They share a deep and long kiss. It makes her feel lonely and she doesn't know why. They part, breathing on each other's lips and holding each other tightly because they know, they know, they have to let go any moment. Their foreheads are still touching.

"Promise me," Snotlout whispers and she sees the silhouette of his Adam's apple bob as he swallows thickly, "promise me you'll come back. To me. Eret, promise you'll come ba-"

A quick but meaningful kiss quietens Snotlout's desperate pleas and Ruffnut has never heard him beg before, not like that, not like he's afraid that Ragnarök is about to fall upon them. Eret cradles Snotlout's face with his large hands. They are so close, they've almost become one shadow.

"I promise you, Snotlout," Eret vows, quiet but vehement, his lips brushing against Snotlout's, "I promise that I will come back to you,"

Another kiss is shared between them, sealing the oath that Eret has made and therefore making it unbreakable. Eret will return, he has to, and Ruff doesn't know what will happen if he doesn't. Something tragic, something unbearable to watch, something she can't allow to happen. She will not see Snotlout ruined again. So, she promises herself that if Eret does not return, she'll fly herself up to Valhalla, drag him back to Berk and the Gods best keep themselves to themselves and not get in the way of her mission, lest the know the true wrath of a Thorston woman.

"Come on, before Hiccup starts a search party," Snotlout says, voice stronger now that the promise of returning has been made, "Selkie's gonna want a proper goodbye too or she's gonna follow you the whole way,"

Eret nods in agreement and peeks his head out of the alleyway, looking up and down the street in search of any unwanted bystanders. In the sunlight, his eyes glitter amber and Ruffnut can make out his hand, large and golden, curled around Snotlout's.

"You sure you can handle her? I know that-"

"Gods, Eret, she's the timidest Thunderdrum I've ever seen! If I can handle Hookfang and a borderline psychotic Terror, among other things, then she's going to be a piece of cake," He reassures, almost sounding offended, and Eret chuckles softly as he gives Snotlout a fond look.

Ruff watches them step out from the alley into the sunlit street, hands no longer intertwined. She can make out the red flush on Snotlout's cheeks and the faint wetness beneath his eyes, which he wipes away hastily. The two of them share a look, secret and quiet, lips curled into gentle smiles, fingers twitching with the longing to touch. Then, as sudden as lightning, the tender-faces fall away and they leave, together but still somehow so far apart. They enter the real world not as lovers, but as friends, as a secret waiting to reveal itself.

For a few moments, she stays where she is, staring into the unlikely place of a secret lovers' farewell. Who knew that a place like this, small and dark, would hold such a tragic and beautiful moment? Ruffnut feels a mixture of emotions, the biggest one being happiness because bless the Gods, Snotlout has found love and if anyone deserves it, it's him.

At the after ceremony of Hiccup and Astrid's wedding a year back, a drunk Snotlout had suddenly embraced her tight and long and said; I'm gonna be alone forever, Ruffy, but that's okay, I got you guys, so... I not really alone. And being just as drunk as he was, she'd laughed and poured him another drink, dancing with him till the sun came to steal the night. She didn't remember what he said till a few days after and it had filled up with such a fierce and sudden sadness that Tuffnut had dragged her home, demanding an explanation for the terrible look in her eyes.

That's the thing with a twin like Tuff, the second her mood changes, he can sense it like a hunting dog catching the scent of blood. She can do it too, but Tuff has never been one to hide his true feelings while she, similar to Snotlout, would rather avoid the conflict of talking sentiments (even with Tuff). Her brother has to drag it out of her most times, corner her and say stupidly melancholic stuff like;

I can smell it, sister. You're sad.

Tuffnut is a curse and blessing all at once and she wouldn't have it any other way.

But anyway, she's overjoyed to see Snotlout in love and loved, but she's also anxious about it. Anxious in a way an older sibling is over a younger sibling when they start to dabble in dangerous things, in things that can get them hurt. And if love is anything, it's dangerous. If love can do anything, it can get you hurt.

Snotlout has been hurt enough. Snotlout has endured and lived through torture and torment, through betrayal and loss, through things she can't imagine surviving. She will not see him hurt again, not by Eret, not by love, not by anything. He doesn't deserve it.

The others will also share her feelings when they discover this secret love story, that she is sure of. Especially Hiccup, who in the past few years has become like an older brother to Snotlout (like the same way that Stoick has become a father to him, the same way Valka has become a mother to him). He takes his new sibling occupation very seriously and it is comical, the wiser brother and the reckless brother always at odds but always there to protect each other.

There's a headache brewing in her temple. Gods, she's been thinking and overthinking again.

It'll be fine, she reassures herself, stepping away from the alley and making towards the docks, the Gods wouldn't curse them all with more bad fortune, would they?

It's probably the most stupid question she's ever thought, in hindsight.

When she gets to the docks, it's jam-packed with dragons and Vikings alike, friends and family saying farewell to the crew and wishing them good fortune on their journey. The sky is clear and blue, perfect for sailing, and Ruff concludes that she wasn't the only one begging Thor to keep his storms to himself.

Immediately, her eyes are drawn to Tuffnut, dangling upside down from Belch's neck as he converses with a bemused Fishlegs. She's tempted to go over, but not yet, she has to do something first.

She quickly surveys the area, seeing one of the Berkian members of Eret's crew giving his vermilion Nadder a thorough farewell and a Northman kissing his Shield-maiden fiancé goodbye.

The Northmen, Eret included, were intrigued to see such wild and free women when they first came to Berk. Berkian women are hearty and frightening and hard to impress, daughters of wolves, bearers of warriors, the fiercest things on the battlefield.

So it had been a cultural shock to them, Eret had admitted one day, for their home only holds women who sew the clothes and make the food, who bear the children and tend to the house, who are quiet and timid and easily won over by a half-assed sonnet. Most marriages are arranged and many daughters are traded for land or gold, true love is a rarity to come by. Eret is proud of his home, but these are the parts he is ashamed of.

Astrid was the first woman Eret had ever seen to hold a weapon and he'd never met a woman as savage as Ruffnut before. Ruff will forever be proud that she was Eret's first taste of wildness.

There. She's found who she's looking for.

Eret kneels on one knee before Selkie, his beauty of Thunderdrum. She's orange like a sunset, pale and washed-out, with white flecks scattering her hide like parted clouds, matching her ivory belly, and Ruffnut has never seen a dragon with eyes that blue before. Selkie lets out an unhappy groan as she presses her face further into Eret's hand, eyes low in her grief as she listens to his whispers. Ruffnut can't make out what he's saying, but she's sure it's everything soft and reassuring.

Snotlout is close by, she notices, watching Eret with an open fondness. If Hiccup or Astrid walked by right now and took notice of the raw love in Snotlout's gaze, they would immediately know the truth. Clearly, she isn't the only one thinking this because Hookfang, stood beside his rider, nudges Snotlout with a warning hiss in the back of his throat. Never let it be said that Hookfang doesn't look out for Snotlout, he's ornery and easily distracted, but he makes up for it all with his loyalty.

Soon enough, the ship is ready and it's time to go. People gather along the docks and make their last hurried farewells. The drums begin and the chants of fortune echo across the waters, there's an intoxicating atmosphere permeating the air. Ruffnut hurries through the crowd, easily shoving unmoving folk to the deck in her haste because she has yet to speak with Eret. He's shaking hands with Chief Stoick and is about to go up the gang walk when she suddenly lunges herself at him.

"Ruffnut!" He gasps, surprised and clearly a bit uncomfortable, but he'll have to deal with her for the moment, "Thought you weren't going to- uh- show,"

"Course I was, idiot, and anyways-" She leans her head close to his ear and wraps a hand around his bicep, digging her sharp nails into his flesh threateningly as she whispers, "-I have to remind you to keep to that promise, Eret, son of Eret, I'm not going to have Snotlout hurt again. I was robbed of my revenge last time, I won't be again,"

When she pulls back, she flashes him a smile with too many teeth and bats her lashes with an intimidating gleam in her eyes. She's given this look to men who are now dead and it is Eret's choice if he wishes to be added to that mass grave. Eret stares back at her with shocked eyes, cheeks slightly red, and he clenches his jaw as he swallows thickly, rubbing a hand over the raised welts on his bicep. The drums echo across the water and the chanting voices chase after in earnest. After a bewildering moment, Eret gives her an awkward but thankful smile and nods his head in understanding.

"I'll keep that in mind," He says and all the tension in his muscles seem to slip away as Ruffnut softens her menacing gaze on him, clapping him boisterously on the already injured shoulder.

"Atta boy," She cackles, shoving him up the gang walk as she calls after him, a throaty laugh colouring her words, "You better be back in two weeks, you son of an Eret, or I'm coming after you!"

To her delight, she hears him laugh back at her.

The ship finally departs from the dock, sail high and proud as its pushed by the encouraging wind and the waves part smoothly as the bow cuts through the water, sure and steady. Some of the crew hang off the ratlines, saying goodbye to Berk (for now), and Eret stands, tall and almost warrior-like, on the stern. The salt-touched wind carries his dark hair and the sun reflects off his dark eyes, they glitter with a sadness that Ruffnut wouldn't have noticed if she didn't know the things she knew. His smile is melancholic, Gods, he already looks homesick. He's looking at someone and she already knows who.

Turning to look at Snotlout, she can see that his hands are balled up into white-knuckled fists, that his smile is forced and pained, that his eyes shimmer with tears.

Snotlout has always hated goodbyes. Especially ones that aren't supposed to last. Because they always do.

#eretlout #Snotlout Jorgenson #snotlout whump #httyd fanfiction #httyd #eret son of eret #oh god this is a lot #i have so much planned for this fic

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winterscaptain · 4 years ago

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how do our favourite ajf couples handle The Talk? and also, how do they start talking about lgbtq+ things? we love communication and education in this house ✨ - 💙

alRIGHT we are going OFF under the cut about good parenting (and also aaron’s the best dad on the planet change my mind)

this is litcherally almost 1.5k words because not only are we inclusive and educational in this house, we are comprehensive and honest with our kids!

they start with consent and boundaries really early. its always “can you ask you sister if its okay to use her tablet” or “honey you're standing a little close to me and i need some space right now. can you step back?” or “i don't really want to do that right now, can we do something else?”

its easier to understand boundaries with the addition of isaac in their home environment. he needs and has very clear boundaries for his siblings and his parents, so its very clear cut from the get-go what is and isn’t okay without permission. mom and aaron are good about knocking on doors and waiting for their kids to invite them into their space, and they’re awesome about privacy and open conversations.

auntie emily has a girlfriend or two and spencer has a boyfriend, a non-binary partner, and a girlfriend over the course of the kids’ lives, which is a really neat segue into the lgbtq+ conversation. very simple -

“when you’re older, you might start feeling things for people, or you might not. there are different words for people who are attracted to different people, and those are called sexualities. for example, your aunt emily is a lesbian because she likes girls, and your uncle spencer has dated people of different genders, so he’s called bisexual.

“there are also different words for people who don’t really fit in to the ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ category. some people are a lot of one or the other, some people are a little bit of both, and others aren’t any at all.

“it’s really important to use these words respectfully, and only use them for someone if you have heard someone use them for themselves. this is a really private thing for most people, so we have to be respectful of people’s boundaries when we talk about the feelings we have for other people.

“if you ever want to talk to mom or me about feelings you’re having, we will be here for you to love you and accept you no matter what.”

(these kids are either gen z or whatever the fuck comes after them, so they’ll probably all be a little queer in one way or another, or at least explored a bit, lets be real)

they are very age-appropriate, as well. so there’s a conversation about how our bodies change when the kids are about nine or ten, and they have a lot of books for the kids to read in private, so they’re not so put on the spot.

mom and aaron do their best to tag team, but there are some things that are better to hear from your dad than your mom and vice versa.

this is also around the time the kids get the conversation about what is and isn't appropriate touching, peer pressure, and social norms (”sometimes, people will say that they’ve done something that you hadn’t thought of before or aren’t ready to do, and it might feel like everyone else has done it, too. however, you are you and you are not them. you are the only person who gets to tell you what to do, and never feel like you have to do anything for any reason.”)

jack, of course, is first, and is having these first conversations with aaron right around the time isaac is born.

when he gets further into middle school, he and aaron go for a walk and talk more specifically about consent and new feelings that might come up. idk about yall, but i knew way more than i should have in middle school and the internet has only gotten worse since then, so i’m sure jack has a vague idea of the mechanics. jack and mom also talk about values, like respect and compassion and empathy, and how those values link together with those feelings.

when they're older (late middle school, early high school), they get the conversation about stds and safety and risks and that stuff. (that’s another easy conversation with real-life examples because isaac, while very wanted, was somewhat unexpected, and so was their cousin henry.) everyone is really clear about all the ways to engage in these activities that won’t get anyone hurt, pregnant, infected, or all of the above. (all of course, with the understanding that “this is for your knowledge, not for you to just know how to go off and sow your wild oats. you’ll have plenty of time for that later, i promise.”)

the segue for isaac’s first on-topic talk comes due to a question about how jack has a different mom than the rest of them. there was a comment at school that made isaac feel a little weird (”well jack’s not your real brother. he doesn't count because he's your half-brother” - that kind of thing) so he asked mom and dad about it. he already knew that jack has a different mom, but he doesn't really know what that means.

aaron’s like “well, jack is made of different stuff because he didn’t come out of mom.”

“what kind of different stuff?”

(and of course mom thinks its hilarious and later says “you walked right into that one, honey.”)

so because isaac is isaac and loves to learn, aaron goes and grabs one of the books he got for jack, and he and mom walk through all the “stuff” that makes up a person and how it gets there. they’re a little more detailed with him than the other kids, because he really likes to know the science and mechanics of it (”dad, people are kind of like machines!” “yeah, bud, a little bit!”)

hes fascinated, of course, and he’s the easiest of the five. he also does really well with more abstract ideas of consent and boundaries as well.

when it’s the girls’ turn, they not only get the mechanics conversation (for both sex and owning a uterus) but the safety conversation. because consent was so drilled into all of them, the boys are like “aight got it, don’t be an asshole and always ask about everything all the time. cool.” but the girls are dealing with some different stuff on multiple fronts.

mom tells them about periods before they get them, so they’re not thinking they’re dying when their first period arrives. they actually help their friends a lot when they freak out, which is super sweet.

aaron reiterates this one to every kid, every time:

“there will be times where people, usually men, do not listen to you and do not respect your boundaries. i am giving you my permission to do whatever you have to do to get out of that situation. you can lie to that person, you can trick that person, and you can hurt that person if that’s the only way to get out of that situation. you can always call us and it doesn’t matter what time it is. we will never ever be mad at you. we love you unconditionally and we just want you to be safe.”

“sex, for some people, is about fun and getting some exercise in, or just another way to spend time with people. that’s okay, but just make sure you’re taking care of yourself and being safe. for other people, its a physical way to express your love to someone you really care about.”

(“oh, so that’s why there’s so many of us.” “soph don’t be rude.” “it’s true isnt it?”)

so its less of like The Talk and more of Yeah, We Can Talk About This Anytime, because mom and aaron do their best to normalize talking about this stuff so the kids won’t be embarrassed to come to them with stuff in the future.

jack usually goes to mom with more...specific questions. caro ends up going to dad more often than not, and soph and elliot split the parents pretty evenly. isaac usually goes to mom, too.

aaron’s favorite Jack Asks About Sex moment (relayed to him that night, in bed with mom) is as follows:

mom and jack are out on a walk, and jack’s like, 15ish. he just looks at her and is like “mom. hey, uh. what’s a blowjob?”

she tries not to laugh and succeeds, for the most part. in the spirit of honesty, and with the understanding of “you aren’t to do this until you are comfortable and ready and nobody else can tell you when that is,” she kind of loosely outlines oral sex and how to conduct it safely and responsibly.

“is it like...good? fun? like ugh, god, how do i put this...do you and dad...do people...nevermind.”

with a laugh - “jack. you really don’t want me to answer that. i will scar you for life if you push.”

“ugh. yikes. alright.”

aaron thought it was HYSTERICAL.

at the end of the day, they just want their kids to feel safe and loved. all five of them know that they were built and made with love, and know (within reason) that their parents love and enjoy each other.

whew. thanks for coming to my ted talk, and you can thank my parents for some of these gems lmao

#💙 anon #ajf aaron #ajf jack #ajf isaac #ajf caro #ajf soph #ajf elliot #a joyful future #tali talks cm #anon reply #tali answers stuff

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221bshrlocked · 5 years ago

Text

II. Overthinking

Pretend You Don’t See Her! Masterlist

Pairing: Mob!Sebastian x Reader

Words: 1288

Warnings: none so far I think

A/N: literally just wanted to write something short and sweet because of the fucking trailer and then I got an influx of messages and comments and asks telling me to make this series and I don’t do very well with peer pressure so I guess this will be a series and I hope y’all like. I stopped tagging people a while ago because they never worked and some people’s usernames just didn’t want to tag but since many of yall liked this, I’ll try and do the tagging again but only for this fic. Let me know if you want to be tagged in the masterlist post. Please like, reblog and comment :) thanks a lot my thirsty friends. Next author’s note will not be this long I promise.

Previous Part | Next Part

You woke up to the sound of laughter in the hallway, slowly getting up to look at the time. It was still too early to go to work so you decided to go back to sleep. As you laid back down and took a deep breath, you saw the chair next to your bed with a coat hanging on the back. Flashes of what happened last night flew through your mind and you jumped out of bed instantly, looking down at your clothes and sighing in relief when you saw you were still dressed in your uniform.

There was no one with you. But he was here. He came up and made sure you were calm. And you remembered how you asked him to stay until you slept and almost vomited because of the prospects of what could have happened. He was a stranger, a dangerous man, who you let inside your home without question. None of it made sense and you looked at the kitchen table and found the gun right next to your wallet.

But why was his coat still here? You reached out to grab it and stopped, afraid he’d somehow make an appearance and watch as you sniffed it. Wait, when did you decide you were going to sniff it?

As you took it off the chair, you couldn’t help but feel how heavy it was and knew that he probably forgot some things in his pockets. Reaching for the right pocket, your hand fished out a watch and when you took a good look at it, you knew it most likely cost more than the building you currently lived in. Placing it back where it belonged, you grabbed for the thing in the left pocket, eyes widening in horror when you took out everything inside it.

You couldn’t believe your eyes. There were so many hundreds in that coat and your heart almost gave out when you counted how much there actually was.

Four grand! This man decided to leave four grand in his coat, in your apartment, probably knowing how poor you were from the looks of the place. Your hands began to shake and you placed the money back in the coat quickly, afraid of where your mind might go. You didn’t want to be tempted. This wasn’t your money, even though he probably didn’t need any of this. You needed to return everything to him.

But where do you even begin to look for him? He didn’t tell you his name or anything. You did vaguely remember the assailant telling him he didn’t know you were with him. Maybe he was someone famous and you’ve just been living under a rock? Looking down at the heavy garment, you couldn’t stop yourself from pulling it to your nose and taking a deep breath, the scent of cologne shooting straight to your thalamus and making you shiver instantly.

God he smelled so damn good. You weren’t sure if this was just the brand he used or if it was mixed with his sweat as well.

But you could also smell the heavy smell of gunpowder and smoke and you pushed the black coat away before getting up and walking to the bathroom. You were about to enter when you spotted a note right next to your wallet. You immediately picked it up and were surprised to find what was written on it.

You read it at least ten more times on your way to work, refusing to believe that the number, let alone the little message at the bottom, were real or heartfelt. He barely met you so why would he even bother, especially with someone like you? Someone that had nothing to give back. Someone that was nothing.

What if he thought you could give yourself in exchange for his help?

You shook your head violently at the thought. He didn’t seem like the type of person who’d ask for something like that. He would have asked last night.

And where was this bar anyway? You’ve never heard of it before. Actually, that made more sense that what actually happened last night. He looked important so he must have worked in a high-end bar or something. Maybe he even knew the owner. After pulling up his number at least fifteen times, you decided you wouldn’t call him. Besides not knowing what you were supposed to say, you didn’t know if he was even serious.

You thought that maybe you’d go to the bar after your shift to give him his stuff but you then chickened out. What if he misunderstood you? What if he thought you just wanted him for his money? Or that you were one of those clingy women who misunderstood his intentions? No, this wasn’t going to happen. Not today. Not this week even.

On the other side of town, the bar was buzzing with energy. Everyone seemed to be doing their own thing in their corner.

Except Sebastian.

Sebastian couldn’t get any sleep, not because he knew trouble would come because news sure traveled fast in that neighborhood and the asshole of a man was definitely going to come knocking. But he just couldn’t get you out of his mind, not your sweet and soft breaths as you slept through a tough night or how soft the skin of your neck felt under his touch. God what he’d give to just see you again for a second.

But he couldn’t risk getting you involved in his line of work. You already had enough to deal with and he hoped being seen with you wouldn’t cause trouble as is. So he sulked in the corner, refusing to talk with the customers and the parties walking into his lounge.

Everyone noticed his sour mood and after a few of his men asking him if he needed anything, he aggressively pushed his chair back and went to his office, not wanting to cause a problem in his own place. He regretted that decision after a few minutes though because all he could think about was going to your diner or maybe waiting in front of your building to look at you one more time. He’d sworn off women all together and he thought he wouldn’t be tempted again.

But you were such a breath of fresh air, somehow seeing through his mask and breaking down all of his walls in the span of a night.

Yeah he had it bad.

And what’s worse was that he never got your name. He really thought you would have called him by now, maybe asking him where he is and if you could come and see him.

But nothing.

It occurred to him that maybe you wouldn’t have called because you didn’t want to tell him you needed the money and that you’d spent it all and needed more or something like that.

So he stayed in his office for the rest of the night, not bothering to leave even when one of his men came and told him some patrons wanted to sit down with him. He told him no one should disturb him again or someone was going to get shot. It was all what was needed to get some peace of mind for the night.

Walking to his couch, he laid on it to get an hour or two in before his next business deal. But every time Sebastian shut his eyes, he could see her bright and shy eyes meeting his gaze and he let his mind roam with the thoughts of her, hoping that her pretty face could somehow lull him to sleep.

And within minutes, it did.

And he dreamt of her soft skin and dizzying scent.

Tags (some didn’t work): @feelmyroarrrr @yallneedtrek @talk-geek-to-me @lovecatystuff @scuzmunkie @diablefatale @ayybtch @searchingforbuckyfavs @that-damn-girl @ruthyalva96 @pizzarollpatrol @calwitch @maybeisthemoon @ladifreakingda @metalarmsandmanbuns @saliarheva @becs-bunker @gogomez-509 @hailmary-yramliah @sycochick @evilxcupcakexnik @redgillan @dragonqueen0606 @sydthekid1518

#mob!sebastian #mobster au #mob!sebastian au #mob!sebastian x reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan x reader #mobster!sebastian #mobster sebastian au #mob sebastian au #mob sebastian

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eightmakar · 6 years ago

Text

Rule Breaker | Three | S.M.

A Baseball!Shawn AU

Previous Parts in my masterlist

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: sexual jokes, cursing, the fuckboi returning

Author’s Note: thank you @heavenly---holland for my moodboard and @the-claire-bitch-project for her brain. There are lots of baseball terms in this chapter, so please let me know if yall have questions! Send me an ask for tags!

“Who’s been sucking on your neck, Mendes?” Kyle yelled at Shawn.

Tessa stood next to her dad, watching and listening the players. She rolled her eyes as she heard his jab.

“Your mom,” Shawn called back at Kyle. “She looks real good in a little black dress.”

The guys all oohed and ahhed at Shawn’s response. Kyle’s face turned bright red. Tessa just about choked on her Gatorade she conveniently sipped at that moment.

“Alright, alright, let’s focus!” Coach Hale shouted.

Shawn looked across the field and winked at Tessa. She rolled her eyes at him as he ran off. Tessa looked down at her notes, not really reading them, just trying to distract herself from looking at Shawn.

“Any new developments?” Coach Hale asked, looking over Tessa’s shoulder.

“Uh,” Tessa’s head shot up towards her dad as she stuttered, “n-not really.”

Coach Hale nodded slowly. “Young say anything to you yet?” “Nope, just to Shawn.”

He continued to nod. “Interesting.”

“Maybe he’s finally figured out he’s got no shot,” Tessa said hopefully.

“It’s Young, Tess. He couldn’t figure out a shot if it hit him in the balls.”

Tessa snorted. He was right.

Coach Henderson called the guys in towards home. Coach Jones had all the pitchers working together elsewhere, so it was only the fielders. Shawn stood closer to third, across the infield from Tessa. He stuck his tongue out at her and she scrunched her face up at him.

Benjamin stood next to Tessa. He saw the exchange, and leaned over to whisper in Tessa’s ear.

“Y’all are cute.”

Tessa looked at him. “We’re not, uh, we don’t, um…”

Benjamin looked at Tessa. “You gonna tell me Mendes didn’t leave that on your collarbone? With the way his neck looks?”

Tessa shifted her tank top to try and cover her hickey nervously.

“You know I don’t care, Tessa,” he whispered. “I just didn’t realize you got that freaky.”

Tessa shoved Benjamin. “Shut the fuck up, Berry!” she laughed, a little too loud.

“Tessa,” Coach Hale warned. “C’mon.”

“Sorry, Coach,” she said, hanging her head but playfully punching Benjamin’s bicep.

Coach Henderson began to explain the hitting drill they were about to do, a drill to practice driving in runs with men in scoring position. Tessa knew she’d have to carefully watch this drill to help her dad plan the batting lineup, so when Henderson finished explaining and the guys all ran to the dugout, she jogged over to her grab her helmet, then joined her dad at the batting cage that the guys brought out.

Tessa stood up on the back of the batting cage, on the bar where the wheels were. She liked to stand behind the batters. She felt like she could read their batting stances and their hits better that way. She pulled her pencil out of the spiral bindings, then propped her notebook up on the cage in front of her.

Coach Henderson split the guys up into several groups, then divided the groups into runners and hitters. They began to cycle through the drill and Tessa kept her notes updated.

Kyle: Pulls to the left under pressure

Benjamin: Hits into DP

Shawn finally meandered into the cage. Tessa gripped her pencil a little tighter as she watched him swing his bat in three circles with his right hand towards the back of the plate before scooting his feet around in the batter’s box dirt, putting his bat up in front of him, breathing deeply, exhaling with his cheeks puffed, then finally looking to the mound and holding his bat ready.

His neck looked wonderful as it strained towards the mound. She shoved down her pride at the purple mark he wore, her gift from the night before. Tessa chewed on her lip, hoping the blush that rose in her cheeks could be attributed to the sunlight she stood in.

Coach Byers was the one tossing pitches to the boys. Shawn stared him down as he gentled tossed his first pitch to him. Shawn easily smacked it flying over his head, straight to center field just behind second base. Tessa smiled.

Shawn continued to hit pitch after pitch straight down the middle of the field. He seemed to have incredible control over his swing, and that made him an excellent candidate for the cleanup spot.

“Hey, Mendes,” Tessa called.

“What’s up, Coach?” he replied, stepping out of the box and turning to look at her.

“Hit a few to right field,” she tested.

He nodded. “Got it.” He stepped back in, did his little ritual, then swung away at the first pitch from Byers, sending it sailing towards right field.

The next three pitches joined them into short right field. Tessa heard her dad and the other coaches whispering. She smiled, and wrote a note.

Shawn: Great batting control. Can hit anywhere in the lineup.

After all the guys had gone and Tessa finished her notes, she hopped off of the cage and rejoined the coaches.

“Thoughts?” Coach Henderson asked.

“Mendes has incredible control,” she started. “He can go anywhere, but he’d be best cleaning up. Bolton crowds the plate, waits too long on pitches, and drew a lot of walks in his regular season, so I’d say start him in the leadoff. Berry hits under the ball, so he could definitely produce some good sac flies. I’m going to make a preliminary lineup right now.”

Coach Hale fist bumped Tessa. “Good work, Coach. You’ve got my list of starters, right?”

Tessa smiled. “Yep. Thanks, Coach.”

She walked back over to the dugout, grabbing her scorebook out of her backpack before she made her way in front of the fence. She plopped down on the ground and spread her notebook out in front of her. She looked carefully at her notes on each batter, biting her lip as she focused on her dad’s list of starters. It was in order of position: Finn Howard, Shawn Mendes, Mateo Rodriguez, Morgan Cooper, Kyle Young, Benjamin Berry, Phillip Ross, Noah Bolton, and Sonny De Luca. Coach Henderson had decided Sonny would be the designated hitter, but that might switch around later, depending on how the guys did once the season started. Tessa didn’t have any bearing over pitchers; they weren’t really her forte, but she knew how to make a batting lineup better than anyone else.

She immediately put Shawn in as the cleanup hitter, in the four spot. She looked up to find him on the field, just wanting to admire him and how he played.

Shawn was doing a drill with the other infielders. Coach Christopher called a base, hit a ball somewhere, and the infielders had to get the ball to that base. It was a drill on communication, mostly, but Tessa still loved to watch.

Coach Christopher lightly smacked the ball close to first base line, a slow roller that inched its way towards Shawn. He sprinted towards it, calling “I got it!”

The second baseman, Mateo, ran to cover first. Shawn bent down, scooped up the ball, pivoted around, and underhand tossed the ball to Mateo. Mateo easily caught the ball in his glove and touched first, which would be an out in a real game.

Tessa smiled as Shawn strutted back to first. Elliot Sanders, the other Brewster first baseman, stepped up to run the next exercise in the drill while Shawn removed his hat to run a hand through his sweaty hair. He looked over at Tessa and winked at her as he carefully placed his hat back on his head.

Tessa looked back at her notebook, turning her mind back to her lineup. She penciled in Noah as batting first. Unfortunately, Kyle was actually a fantastic hitter. She knew the way he hit and the way her ran the bases. She knew he was successful last season and in his college season hitting in the three spot, so she wrote his name down above Shawn’s.

Coach Henderson decided Sonny De Luca from St. John’s would be the DH. Tessa looked at his stats from his school season. He batted a .315 and started as a true freshman in the outfield. He’d had 65 hits and 35 RBIs, so he was good at getting on base. Tessa hated the common practice of putting all the “bad” hitters at the end of the lineup, so she penciled Sonny in in the nine spot, at the end of the lineup, so when it rolled over, Noah would have someone on base to work with.

Coach Hale called a water break and the guys all jogged towards Tessa and the dugout. Shawn grabbed his water and leaned on the fence next to her, staying in the dugout but still hanging out close enough to her to say hi.

“I’m starting?” he asked, looking at her notebook.

“Yeah,” Tessa said. “So says the big man. You’re batting cleanup, too. At least, if I have anything to say about it.”

“Sweet,” Shawn said. He squirted water into his mouth. “What are we doing tonight?”

Tessa put her notebook down, stood up, and turned to face him. “I’ll have to check my calendar,” she teased.

“Oh yeah? Got a hot date?” Shawn raised an eyebrow.

“I might.”

“He must be a lucky guy,” Shawn sighed.

Tessa half-smiled. “Yeah, he is.”

“Hey Tessa.” Kyle came over to lean on the fence next to Shawn.

Tessa rolled her eyes. “What do you want?”

“So hostile!” Kyle said. “You see how hostile she is to me, Mendes?”

“Don’t rope me into this, man,” Shawn said, holding his hands up.

“Whatcha doing tonight, Tess?” Kyle asked.

“Don’t call me Tess,” she replied shortly. “And I’ll be avoiding you tonight.”

“Damn, what did I ever do to you?” Kyle egged her on.

Tessa snorted. “What did you ever do to me? What did you ever do to me? You bast--” “Alright, meet on the mound right now!” Coach Hale interrupted.

Tessa turned to face her dad, who gave her a stern look. She was fuming; she could feel her face go hot with rage. Why couldn’t Kyle get the word “no” through his stupid pea brain?

“Hey,” Shawn said softly. He was standing next to her. “It’s okay, alright? He can’t do anything to you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Tessa snapped. “I don’t need your help.”

Shawn looked taken aback. “I know you don’t, Tessa. I’ll talk to you after practice.”

Tessa immediately felt horrible. She didn’t mean to snap at Shawn. “Shawn, wait,” she said, grabbing his forearm.

He turned and looked at her. “I’ve got to go, Tess.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I know you’re trying to help.”

Shawn softly smiled at her, then grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “It’s okay. I’ll catch you later, mkay?”

“Alright,” Tessa agreed. She let Shawn go, and he ran off to meet his team on the mound.

Gameday was Tessa’s favorite. The energy in Brewster was like no other, especially on Opening Day of the season. As a kid, she loved gameday because she got to dress like the players. She got her own little jersey, number 10, with her last name on the back. Her dad got her a pair of baseball pants to wear just like the guys did. They didn’t make baseball pants that small, so until she grew up a little, she had to wear normal white pants to match, but she didn’t care as long as she looked like the guys. She felt the most like she belonged with the team on gameday.

The game wasn’t until 6 o’clock, but Tessa, Cora, and Coach Hale arrived at the stadium around noon to help Cora set up. Tessa spent the afternoon hauling cases of drinks and chips to the concessions stand, setting up the parking lot with cones, and all other odd jobs her mom needed her to do.

At 3:30, the team began to arrive. Tessa was in the press box, trying to help the announcer, Tony McCabe, change out a cable. Mr. McCabe had been the announcer for the Whitecaps as long as she could remember. He was a sweet old man, but he had no idea how to hook up the sound system in the press box.

“You know, back when in my day, there weren’t so many cords,” Mr. McCabe said to Tessa.

She laughed. “I’m sure there weren’t, Mr. McCabe.” She plugged in the final cord, then stood up next to the table. “You should be good to go!”

Mr. McCabe sat down at his table and pressed the button on the PA. “Testing, one, two, three,” he tried. His voice didn’t come through the speakers, and he scrunched his face up. “Tessa?”

She laughed again. She pressed the power button on the back of the PA and it sprung to life with a crackle. “Try again, Mr. McCabe,” she said.

He pressed the button again. “Testing, woah, there we are!” he exclaimed as his voice came through the speaker loud and clear. He released the button, then turned to Tessa. “What would we do without you, Tessa?”

She smiled. “Who knows?”

Cora came in to check on Mr. McCabe. They started talking about things he needed, and he went off on a tangent. Tessa tuned him out and looked out over the field from the window.

When Tessa was little, Cora had tried to keep Tessa in the pressbox with her, but Tessa never wanted to be up there during a game. She used to holler and scream until her mom would open the door and let her sprint down the stairs to the dugout. She wanted to be where the action was, with her dad and the guys. She did love the view from the press box, but if there was any kind of game play going on the diamond, Tessa wanted to be as close as possible.

Tessa stared down at the dugout. Shawn was there, standing shirtless and holding his jersey, about to put it on. She bit the inside of her cheek as she saw the myriad of small bruises that decorated his chest. Some of them were fading; those were the ones she’d left him with two nights ago after their first practice. Some of them were brand new, shiny and red-purple on his pale chest.

Cora, who had finished her conversation with Mr. McCabe, joined her daughter and looked out at Shawn too. He shrugged on his jersey and buttoned it up, but not before Cora saw his decorated chest.

“Nice work there, Tess,” she said to her daughter.

Tessa’s cheeks went bright red. “I should get down there,” she said in a hushed voice.

“Hey,” Cora said softly, stopping Tessa from leaving. “You know we’re happy for you, right? He’s wonderful. Your dad and I really like him.”

“Too bad it really can’t last,” Tessa whispered, looking at the floor.

Cora was taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, he’s going back to Toronto, I’m going back to Pittsburgh, he’s got baseball dreams, I’ve got my dreams, you know. It doesn’t really line up,” Tessa shrugged.

“Tessa, where did this come from?” Cora asked. She was concerned.

“Mom,” she protested. “I’ve got to be a trainer, he’s got to be a baseball player. We’ll never be able to have jobs in the same place. This is just a summer thing.”

“C’mon, Tessa,” Cora said. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

Tessa smiled sadly at her mom. “It’ll be okay, Mom. Our futures are more important. But we can have fun for now, right?”

Cora looked sadly at her daughter. “Right. You should get down there, Tess.”

“I’m okay, Mom. I promise.” Tessa took her mom’s hand, squeezed it, then went down the pressbox stairs.

Tessa nearly ran into her dad, who was at the bottom of the stairs. “Oh, Tess! I was just looking for you,” Coach Hale said.

“Here I am,” she said half-heartedly.

Coach Hale cocked his head at her. “What’s wrong, Coach?” he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Tessa shook her head. “I’ll tell you later. We’ve got a game to focus on.”

Coach Hale nodded. “Alright. Let’s go beat the shit out of Cotuit.” He and Tessa walked to the dugout together.

“Hi,” Shawn said softly when Tessa entered the dugout.

“Hey,” she replied. “I got a nice view from the pressbox just a second ago.”

Shawn smiled and shook his head. “I knew I should’ve worn an undershirt.”

Tessa leaned down to get her notebook out of her backpack. One of the guys would keep score during the game so she could keep her notes. She left her scorebook in her bag.

“Listen, I’m not complaining. And you weren’t complaining last night either, if I recall,” she teased softly.

Shawn’s face went red. He didn’t get the chance to answer, because a few other guys trailed in. He stuck his tongue out at Tessa instead, then grabbed his glove from the bench and jogged out to the diamond.

The guys warmed up and before long, Tessa heard Mr. McCabe’s voice booming over the loudspeaker. Tessa smiled as she heard that familiar phrase: “It’s baseball time in Brewster!”

“Here we go!” Coach Hale called to the guys. “Starters, get ready to hit the field!”

Mr. McCabe continued. “First, your lineup for the visiting Cotuit Kettleers!”

The whole team lined up on the first base line, with the starters closest to home plate. Tessa and the coaching staff stood next to them. Shawn “happened” to stand at the very end of the line next to Tessa.

Shawn leaned over to whisper in Tessa’s ear. “Can you pull some strings and get the “O, Canada” played for me? Like at hockey games?”

Tessa laughed. “Mr. McCabe would keel over, Bubs,” she whispered back.

Shawn blushed at his nickname and turned his head back to the diamond as Mr. McCabe’s voice came back over the speaker.

“And now, the lineup for your Brewster Whitecaps! Batting first and playing left field, from the University of Florida, Noah Bolton! Batting second and playing second base, from the University of Miami, Mateo Rodriguez! Batting third and playing shortstop, from the University of Mississippi, Kyle Young!”

As Kyle’s name was called, he ran out into the outfield just behind second base to join Mateo for the National Anthem. He turned and blew a kiss to Tessa on his way. It made her skin crawl.

“Batting fourth and playing first base, from the University of Toronto, Shawn Mendes!”

Shawn gently touched Tessa’s bicep with his non-gloved hand, then ran out to the pitcher’s mound. Tessa smiled to her feet at the gesture. Unlike Kyle, Shawn’s touch made her skin sear, her heart race, and made her feel a little dizzy. She loved it.

“Batting fifth and playing third base, from Louisiana Tech, Morgan Cooper! Batting sixth and playing center field, from Louisiana State University, Phillip Ross! Batting seventh and playing right field, from the University of Texas, Benjamin Berry! Batting eighth and playing catcher, from the University of Texas, Finn Howard! Batting ninth, from Saint John’s University, the designated hitter, Sonny De Luca! And starting on the mound for your Whitecaps, from the University of Kentucky, Frankie Adams!”

The starters joined each other on the diamond as their names were called. The outfielders stood together in center field facing the field. The infielders, except for Shawn, gathered behind second base just into the outfield grass. Shawn, Frankie, and Finn all stood together in between the mound and second base on the infield dirt. Tessa, the coaches, and the team crossed their right hands over their hearts as the first notes of “The Star-Spangled Banner” began to play. Tessa couldn’t help but smile imagining what was going through Shawn’s head. Maybe she’d ask him to teach her the words so she could sing it for him.

When the Anthem ended, the boys picked up their gloves from where they were placed on the ground. Someone from the dugout tossed a ball out to Shawn to start warming up. Tessa jogged back to the dugout. She plopped her helmet on her head, grabbed her notebook, and leaned on the fence. She looked out over the diamond and felt like she was home.

The top of the first inning flew by. First out was a fly out to left field, second out was a swinging strikeout, third out was a slow rolling ball hit to Kyle. Kyle threw it to Shawn, who stepped on first to complete the inning and the 6-3 putout.

Shawn was the first person back in the dugout. He dropped his glove off on the bench, then came up to stand next to Tessa.

“Don’t talk yet,” she said. The Kettleers’ pitcher was jogging to the mound, his catcher on his heels. “I need to watch.” Shawn smiled and nodded.

Tessa intently watched the new pitcher’s wind up, his motions, his tendencies. She watched the catcher’s motions; that was always a telltale sign of where the pitch was going. The true mastermind of baseball game is a catcher, so she made sure to keep a close eye on him.

The umpire called for the last warm-up pitch. Coach Henderson and Coach Byers donned their helmets and jogged out to the coaches’ boxes. Tessa wrote down a couple of final notes on the pitcher as Noah walked out of the on-deck circle to the plate.

Coach Hale joined Tessa and Shawn. “Well?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“He tends towards the bottom-left corner of the zone,” she responded. “The scouting report said he’s a two pitch guy. He’s got a wicked curveball and a decent slider. He lacks control on the fastball.”

Shawn stared at Tessa. “You got all that from his warm-up?”

“I read the scouting reports on him,” Tessa chirped. “So what you’ll wanna look for, Shawn, is a fastball that gets away from him high in the zone. That’ll be your best bet at a solid hit.”

Shawn continued to stare with no answer for Tessa.

“I know, Mendes,” Coach Hale said. “She’s good.”

They heard a smack and the trio looked to home plate. Noah was resetting himself after hitting a foul ball.

“Hey, Ben,” Tessa called. Benjamin was scoring for her. “That the first pitch?”

“Yep,” he replied.

“Good, we didn’t miss much.” Tessa turned her attention back to Noah. The pitcher wound up, came to a stop, then let his pitch loose. It went sailing towards Noah at a downward angle, ending up close to Noah’s feet. He was a lefty batter, so the ball was on his side of the plate, in the bottom-left hand corner just like Tessa had said.

“Ball!” the umpire cried.

Shawn’s mouth dropped open. Tessa smirked.

“Told ya,” Tessa sassed. “Close your mouth, Mendes, you’ll catch flies.”

“What the fuck,” he whispered. “I’ve played baseball my whole life and I couldn’t catch that.”

“You weren’t looking hard enough,” Tessa said simply. She watched the catcher jump up on the balls of his feet, wiggling his butt as he held his mitt up a little higher. “This one will be a high strike, at Noah’s pecs.”

Shawn turned his eyes to the pitcher, who reeled back and let his throw go flying. The ball sailed through the air, a fastball straight down the middle of the plate, but up in the zone. The catcher stuck his hand up and caught it perfectly at Noah’s pectorals.

“Strike!” the ump called.

Shawn was flabbergasted. His mouth dropped even lower as he stared at Tessa.

She smiled sweetly at him and reached out to him. She put her hand under his chin and shut his mouth for him.

“If you don’t shut your mouth someone might stick their dick in it, Bubs,” she said softly.

She heard Benjamin snort a few feet away. She didn’t mind that he’d heard; she trusted Benjamin, and he’d told her yesterday he was fully supportive of it.

Shawn jerked his head toward Benjamin when he heard his snort. His face turned bright red as he realized Benjamin heard Tessa call him “Bubs.” Without a word, Shawn took his pride and went to switch from his ballcap to his helmet. Benjamin scooted over next to Tessa.

They watched Noah swing late on another fastball, completing a strikeout and the first out of the half-inning. He shook his head as he walked back to the dugout and Mateo replaced him.

“So ‘Bubs’ is a good name for him,” Benjamin said softly to Tessa as they watched the pitcher throw ball one to Mateo. It bounced six inches in front of the plate and the catcher went down to his knees to stop it.

“Isn’t it? I think it’s cute. Don’t tell Kyle, though.” Next pitch, ball two.

“I wouldn’t dream of it. If he says anything and you snap, I’ll help you hide the body, just so you know.” Ball three was thrown.

Tessa laughed. “Thanks, Ben. Good to know I’ve got some muscle backing me up.” Ball four. Mateo tossed his bat towards the dugout and jogged down to first. Shawn ran out to pick it up, bringing it back into the dugout as Kyle swaggered to the plate.

“You know, my girlfriend will be up here for the Fourth of July,” Benjamin said. “Maybe we could go on a double date when she’s here.”

“Wow, the Halls are letting you have a conjugal visit?” Tessa asked.

Benjamin went pale. “Uh, I, we, um, she, uh, they, like, she’s--.”

“I’m kidding,” Tessa said, feeling a little bad. “I’d love to meet her. I think I saw her on your Instagram, right?”

Benjamin’s face brightened. “Yeah! With the dark brown, really curly hair! That’s Claire!”

“You’re a poet and you didn’t know it, Benjamin,” Tessa joked. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

A thwack called attention back to the game. Kyle smacked a pitch just between the first and second basemen. The Brewster fans cheered as Mateo ran to second and Kyle took first.

Shawn jogged out of the dugout and grabbed Kyle’s bat. He handed it to Morgan, the third baseman, who was on deck, and continued to the plate.

Shawn batted right-handed. He stepped up, swung his bat around in a circle behind the plate with his right hand three times, scooted his feet in the dirt, put his bat up, looked at it, breathed with his cheeks puffed, then looked at the pitcher.

Tessa carefully watched the catcher. He stayed low, knees close to the ground, so she knew the pitch would be low to the ground. Shawn watched as the pitcher threw the ball, a slider that broke in the middle of the strike zone and dropped nearly to Shawn’s ankles. Tessa caught her breath, but thankfully Shawn watched the pitch fly by.

“Ball!” the ump cried.

Tessa nodded. C’mon, Shawn, produce.

The very next pitch was a fastball high in the zone. It was the exact pitch Tessa told Shawn to watch out for. She bit her lip as the pitcher let it loose. Shawn waited, intently watching the ball fly towards him. He swung, making solid contact with the ball. Tessa gasped as she watched the ball sail into deep left field.

“C’mon ball, drop, drop, drop!” Tessa whispered.

The ball dropped on the warning track between the left-fielder and the centerfielder; neither of them were close enough to get to the ball. Tessa jumped up and down and cheered as Mateo rounded third base heading for home. Kyle sprinted to second, then continued to third. Shawn stretched his legs out as he ran, easily reaching second before the ball reached the cutoff man. Tessa saw a flash and looked to third. Kyle was sprinting his ass off to get to home. He slide into the base, sending a cloud of dirt puffing, but the ball was nowhere near him.

“Safe!” the ump cried.

The Whitecaps leapt up and celebrated. Shawn hooted from second base, pumping his fists in the air towards his team. Tessa grinned widely, so wide she felt her cheeks begin to get sore.

Coach Hale came over and clapped Tessa on the back. “Was that you?”

“I told him to look for a fastball high in the zone,” she said.

“God, you’re incredible, Tess!” Coach Hale praised. “I gotta tell Henderson!”

Her dad disappeared and Kyle took his place.

“Tess,” Kyle purred. “You see me out there?”

Tessa delivered a hard kick to Kyle’s shin. She wore cleats while she was on the field, and she knew how badly the toe hurt. Kyle doubled over in pain, crying out.

“What the fuck, Tessa?” he called.

“Young! Watch your mouth!” Coach Hale called.

“Your bitch daughter kicked me!” he screamed back.

The dugout went silent. Coach Hale stormed over to Kyle. All attention was on the three of them.

Coach Hale bent down to get as close to Kyle as he could. “If you,” he hissed quietly, “ever call my daughter that again, I will rip your head off. Do you understand? Being kicked off this team will be the least of your worries.”

“She kicked me,” Kyle protested.

“Do,” Coach paused. “You.” Another pause. “Understand?”

“Yes sir,” Kyle said shortly. “I understand.”

“Good. Go. Now.”

Kyle scurried off to the other side of the dugout. Coach Hale stood next to his daughter.

“Tessa,” he whispered.

“He called me ‘Tess’ again, Dad,” she said. She looked out onto the field and saw Morgan walking back towards the dugout. She clenched her jaw and didn’t look her dad. “I just kicked his shin, Dad. He’ll be fine. I don’t want him to call me Tess. I’m very clear with him, Dad.”

“Not in the dugout, Tessa, okay? I know you’re doing your best, but just keep it out of the dugout.”

“Fine.”

“Tess, I’m sorry I can’t do much more than that. I scared him away for now, but just keep your head up, okay?” Her dad did feel bad; Tessa and her dad were very close.

“I will,” she said. “We’ve got a game to focus on.”

Coach Hale nodded, then left Tessa to fume in peace. She stormed to the corner of the bench by the cubbies for the helmets. She continued to clench her jaw as Phillip Ross, the centerfielder, flew out to right field. She saw Shawn take off his helmet and run his fingers through his hair. She imagined the way Shawn’s hair felt between her fingers when they were kissing the night before. She took several deep breaths and imagined the way he traced his face, the contours of his chest and abdomen. It helped her control her anger at Kyle and refocus herself on the game at hand.

Frankie pitched another perfect inning with three strikeouts in a row. Tessa was really happy for him; her dad had fought hard to get him on the Whitecaps.

Shawn jogged back into the dugout after the half was done. He removed his ballcap and glove, placing them next to him on the bench.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly, seeing how angry Tessa still was.

“I kicked Kyle in the shin,” she replied quietly.

“What?” Shawn gaped.

“Yeah,” Tessa replied. “He called me ‘Tess’ again. I had to do something or he wouldn’t stop.”

Shawn rubbed her arm gently. “It’s okay,” he whispered.

“I’m fine, really. Dad yelled at him and it was satisfying, so I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” Tessa plastered on a smile for Shawn.

He pressed his lips together and looked at her. “I’m here for you, alright? I’ve got your back.”

“I know. Now get over there and cheer on your team, Mendes,” she said.

Shawn got up and joined his teammates like she said, cheering on his teammates and friends. Every once in a while, he would look over to check on Tessa. She’d smile at him or make a face at him, but she was trying not to focus on him or Kyle or anyone else; she was trying to focus on the game, dissect the pitcher’s movements to help the Whitecaps win the game.

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