#no pressure and i know it's dumb

[captain-clandestiny]

grisped. grabbed. snatched. both a symbolic illustration the hold life has had on me lately and a canon event from the Blusleeves storyline

[pallanophblargh]

You know what the worst feeling I've been having lately is? Wanting more than anything to get back into Actual Art again but finding a sudden anxiety that stops me. Even if I'm still as capable as I was, it's the mental block. It's why I've all but kept commissions closed for this whole time: this overwhelming fear of letting people down. Especially in times as troubled as these, where money is tight, and patience is thin. I've always been blessed with such patient and considerate commissioners, but I would hate to test people because of my malfunctioning brat of a brain.

I just wish it came to me as easily as it did before the massive burnout/medication. But it's up to me to come up with my own motivation. And it's ME.

Anyway. Thanks as always for sticking around despite... all of this. I'll get back on the horse soon.

[ulteri0rm0tives]

HAPPY HOMESTUCK DAY!!!!!!!!

Just a lil something to express my appreciation for my fave reddit scouring troll <33

Some old art throughout the years of him and some reminiscing below!!

The fact I didn't use any of these as refs either.. and they still came out with similar features?? Have a vision of this guy and I guess it's consistent still after all these years����

2023 (I think?)

2022 (ignore the fact I forgot his horns 💀)

2019

And some others because I couldn't find more earlier works of him unfortunately </3 (kinda sad cuz I was trying to find my first piece of digital art work for him that I made for me n my old friend's solkat ask blog (that never was) <//3)

2016/2017?

Real shit tho, just gonna reminisce here, gonna be a lil earnest and all: Homestuck was my first ever fandom back in 2016. What introduced me to fandom, and helped me really get into art. It's what drove me to WANT to get better at art so I could bring characters I loved to life and have them look as I envisioned them in my mind.

Karkat was my favorite and I really resonated with him, he was the first character I ever felt really, really attached to. I met so many great people, so many friends, a fun community for the most part. It was such an important part of my life, too, during a very bumpy time in my life.

For the first time in my little middle school life I felt a real sense of belonging. It helped me explore self expression, allowed me self expression in healthier ways, in a multitude of ways. It was the first place I could explore my queer identity, especially my transness, and be met with understanding. Where people really understood, ykno? Not even queerness, but just.. met me with understanding with how life can be sometimes.

Have people who were older than me treat me fairly as a kid, who gave great life advice, who didn't mind indulging me when I got hyper over my interests or characters I loved. It's probably ironic in some ass backwards way, but I don't think I'd be as mature as I am either, or, at least, know half the things I know now. I wouldn't be half the queermo I am today if it weren't for these funky little space aliens and the really cool and smart and creative people I met. It opened my eyes in a lot of ways. And I just... I dunno.

I might not be stuck in the house anymore but It's like driving down the road to look at my old childhood home once in a while just to sigh all wistfully a little before returning to the one I live at now :) ty karkat 4 being the guy of all time and sticking with me thru my formative years <3

[clowningaroundmars]

i still cannot get over The Twins like.

imagine.

you have another version of you out there arguably living a life just as difficult as yours, if not more, that you can talk to at literally Any Time! and they're You so you basically already have half a convo down anytime you decide to pop on over via a portal

1610 and 42 stepping out of their respective portals side-by-side just to stroll out of an alleyway like nothin happened just going:

1610: LOUD SIGH

42: rough day too huh?

1610, brushing debris off of his shoulder: yeeep. another run-in with the rhino. again.

42: you didn't lock his dumb ass up like, last month? how'd he get out?

1610: don't know, don't care. so done with this week, i just wanna... i dunno. hibernate til spring 😮‍💨

42: man, what a mood.

1610: what happened to you? you look like you had a rougher day than me!

42, covered in visible bruises and cuts along with his bandages: mannnn... rougher week more like. well... rougher life. but. anyways.

they both nod at each other in Understanding

[perilegs]

i think it's unfair that anxiety can cause an upset stomach. why are you doing all that.

[wellamarke]

i’m d y i n g out here bc i have been presented with a cabin pressure “short story” (fanfiction but written for school and, I am fairly sure, before the writer knew that fanfiction really existed as a concept) by an ELEVEN YEAR OLD!!!!!!! that is unbelievably charming, hilarious and adorable but, unfortunately, is simultaneously:

1. likely not something the writer wants to make public now, at the big age of 20 and

2. truly not something anyone would believe was written by an 11 year old were this to be claimed in an author’s note

so I am forced to appreciate it aLONE because it is. honestly my favourite thing right now 😭😭😭

[clowningcrows]

how do i know if my chosen name is the right name :(

[lovinglin]

the urge to delete this blog is strong

[angelxxhunter]

when she sends you tumblr posts that made her think of you // that she wanna recreate with you >>>>>

[rebelscaped]

food truck alley, midday, current time (no specific date) / @anchoragestarters

The remainding few pieces of xiaolongbao he'd ordered had been sat neglected on the bench table long enough that it had started to go cold, the soup having seeped out of one and into the polystyrene tray that held them. Although Kael had never been known for his appetite, it was not because he was not hungry that his lunch had gone ignored but rather that he was much too focused on other things; in particular, inspiration had hit and the most inconvenient moment and he was now stuck scrawling away on a pieces of scrap paper he'd found in his bag. The one he was on right now had been a flyer for something at some point, he hadn't bothered to flip over to check. Songwriting wasn't something with which Kael troubled himself quite as often these days; since he'd joined the band, those duties had fallen into hands besides his own. He harbored no ambitions of going solo but it felt nice to cling to old passions. Besides, the lyrics he penned were often personal and more occasionally, they were too vulnerable to be seen by anybody but Kael. He was fine with this. He might have even considered it a cheaper alternative to therapy. (Or was it more like keeping a diary?)

Of course it came as a shock, then, that a strong gust of wind came in just at that moment and whisked the papers right from under his pen. All Kael could muster as a response was a quiet grunt of surprise. The wind had calmed as quickly as it had picked up, as was the way of Anchorage's unpredictable weather. (He supposed he ought to have been used to that, given how much time he'd spent in London.) Most of the paper had gathered at the legs of another bench. Another occipied bench. Mostly under the bench. "Oh, fuck me sideways," he hissed under his breath, as he pulled himself to his feet and marched over, the gravel crunching noisily under the weight of his heavy New Rocks.

"Ey, if you don't mind moving for a bit, I need under here," said Kael, brusquely. Usually, he'd more polite than this. He wasn't a naturally rude person, but in times as frantic as these, he had a way of forgetting to filter himself. His gaze dropped to the bench table and his eyes widened as he finally noticed that a few sheets had landed squarely in this person's food. (He was so not reimbursing them for this.) Slowly but surely, eye contact was made. "Don't touch that."

[squarebracketsmileyface]

does jay ever get confused or surprised by his own emotions or actions? i feel like its even worse whrn you dont even know why youre acting like this, because you cant explain ky to yourself, let alone other people

I think so. I know he definitely doesn't really realise he's doing some of it in the moment, especially when he's angry. Like, he just lashes out without even thinking about it, then refuses to let himself feel like he's in the wrong in the moment, because that'd mean "losing" in some way, so he usually doubles down. But like, yeah, I feel like a lot of the time he doesn't expect to react as severely as he does? Like, he's fine fine fine fine, until he's not and he just flies off the handle and can't really do anything about it until he's landed again, and then he can start trying to pick up all the pieces, y'know?

He definitely beats himself up when he settles on "oh I fucked up" after he does something (and tries to get Alex to beat him up over it too lmao, uh, anyway 💀) yeah, if you asked him WHY he did something? Chances are he'll bullshit you about the explanation. Like, I feel like hell make it sound like he knows why he did it, but then if you actually start prodding past the made up, surface level shit he came out with, you'd realise really fast that he doesn't know why he did something.

Either that or sometimes you'll get a massive flood of every single reason he can possibly think of for why he did something? Like you know in Sorry, It's Locked chapter three, when Tim kisses him and he freaks the fuck out and runs away, and then after that he kinda gives Tim just this massive flood of every single thing that lead up to that moment of him panicking and trying to run away.

He's all or nothing, 0 or 100, nothing in between. Either he knows every single thing about why he reacted how he did, or he doesn't have the foggiest, y'know?

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[ft-willzz]

Goddamn writing vows are hard, there’s so much I want to say but I don’t want it to be clunky or boring

[cosmicsproutcake]

y'all ever go to continue a wip drawing and find a mystery line that is obviously supposed to be doing something, but you can't, for your life, remember, or even figure out, what lol

[jizzlords]

broke: it's always raining in lust because greed's oceans are always spilling into lust

woke: ozzie's moods control the weather within his ring. same goes for other sins or rather, more in some than others.

[padawanduck]

i think one side effect of izzy binging all the big brother at once is you lose the sense of time and scale

like i love spelling competitions but we used to have one every year, but we haven’t had one since BB18 aka 7 years ago

it is good to do a little prep just in case but the way she was literally fighting sleep just to think of words for a competition that hasn’t been played in the main show since obama was president