#no one’s weird comments phased me
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rickallensbarefeet · 10 months ago
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Would you guys still support this account if I started posting about other bands....
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running-in-the-dark · 10 months ago
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lol I'm listening to music and I didn't know what I'm in the mood for so I just put my whole library on shuffle.
anyway a Sean Paul song came up and I'm just like. hm yes it sure is interesting to remember listening to this at like 13/14 and very seriously studying the lyrics and translating everything as a kid learning English :) and I would just sit there and tell all the adults around me all the interesting things I was learning :)
(it's also pretty funny that I've been building my music library since I was like. 12 or 13? whenever I got my first computer. back then it was just me ripping all my CDs because our internet was too slow for anything else. and they were all 128kbps mp3s because my hard drive was like 20GB 🤢 so the actual files have long been replaced. but still it's pretty funny sometimes)
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t-lostinworlds · 2 years ago
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nintendont2502 · 2 years ago
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Lmao I found this old video I made to try and explain what my mind sounds like most of the time and its. Pretty accurate
(warning for just way too many sounds playing at once. Seriously it isn't a fun time lmao)
#its usually like#two or three random parts of a song just looping in my head#(if i focus and kinda mentally say the lyrics i can listen to the full thing? but theres like me 'talking' in my head and the song playing#in my head as two seperate things sk sometimes the song skips ahead/jumps randomly/loops random parts#and if i dont focus my mental singing does that too)#uh if im reading or writing something thats usually being read out in there#i have kinda an internal voice? so like i talk in my head and thats usually one of the loudest things in there#and the only thing i have full control over#i went through a weird years long phase where i was constantly narrating myself in second or third person which was. interesting#sometimes random phrases (either written or spoken) get stuck in there#and other random trains of thought start and stop that i dont think i have control over?#but they all kinda comment on each other sometimes#like 'hey i should do this it would be funny' and then the main/spoken train of thought goes 'no i shouldn't im just doing that for#attention' 'actually no im just thinking this for attention' 'everything i do is to fit a specific mental image i want to project'#'what the fuck are you on about i dont want to do this again im at work'#after a certain point its just my main train of thought arguing with itself lmao#and most of the time even when i switch the main train of thought to focus on something (writing#playing a song in my head etc) theres still smaller branches of it that are commenting on what im doing? they're louder than the usual#random trains of thought but not as loud as the main one (also not in my control? no fucking clue lmao)#idk it's a lot#kinda frustrating i spend so long in there and yet i have no clue how to visualise/explain it but w/ever#i dont even know if i can see images in there lmaoo#me.txt
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celibibratty · 2 months ago
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i find funny how my relationship with sifu it's the opposite with lis2, lis2 i remember it's beggining fondly(time i/we were starting liking) and then it's after is troubled, while sifu it's beggining was troubled and now i enjoy it fondly, i like it the way i enjoy it now(now both are in a better place now i would say)
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taintedcigs · 3 months ago
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— even if it’s handcuffed i’m leaving here with you
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pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader x eddie munson
summary: steve asks eddie for his handcuffs to spice up things in the bedroom with you, and once things go wrong, the two of you turn to eddie for help… in more ways than one. (wc: 3.1k+)
warnings: MINORS DNI, smut smut smut, or*l (f!receiving), handcuffs duh, lots of praises, dom!eddie, steve kinda subby but also soft!dom? the dynamics are mixed LMAO, pet names (sweetheart, honey, baby, slut), mmf, three way kissing idk
authors note: so this is what happens when a girl mixes her three hyperfixations; 9-1-1, steddie and CHALLENGERS. i wrote this v long ago it is a bit shitty and not proof-read SO IGNORE ALL MISTAKES THANK U. (also this is sm more meaningful to me now bc i got this song as my surprise song like i accidentally manifested this WAIT.)
and please, if you wanna support me; reblog + like + comment ILY!!
Steve is embarrassed.
Embarrassed that he has to ask Eddie for this. For handcuffs to use that he has no idea what the fuck to do with.
And of course Eddie finds it all amusing, a smirk plastered on his face while he teases Steve, rosy-cheeks turning pinker.
And normally, it would've pissed him off, Eddie's teasing, his flirty comments towards you, towards him.
But for some reason, it doesn't.
The three of you have this dynamic that he can't quite put his hand on, it's different, exciting, new, it intrigues him, more than anything.
You and Steve had just started dating, a couple months in, the honeymoon phase and all, and of course, Eddie had been there for it all.
The first moment you caught Steve's eye, you caught Eddie's too, the dynamic settled in then with Steve charming you right away, while Eddie's flirty antics didn't go unnoticed by you.
Yet, somehow, someway, it snowballed into you dating Steve. But it didn't end there. The three of you hung out often.
Very often.
So much so that you had regular movie nights, always ending up high out of your minds with Eddie’s shitty weed, talking each other's ears off 'till the sun came up.
You knew everything about his life, his shitty band gigs (the one Steve dragged you to, and surprisingly his music didn't suck), his uncle, his girlfriends. Or the lack thereof.
Eddie always mentioned how he just hadn't found the right one yet, just a bunch of meaningless sex.
And he made sure to always come to the both of you afterwards, telling everything, in great fucking detail too. 
Maybe it was weird for anyone else. But for the three of you, it was your normal. 
Especially for you, because you enjoyed them. Enjoyed his stories as they made you squirm in your seat. Reactions not going unnoticed by Steve.
And it's what led to Steve wanting to spice things up in the bedroom with you. He knew the sex was great. He was obsessed with you, and you were with him.
But, fuck, there was something missing. Something he couldn't pin point exactly. And he was willing to try out anything, especially when he remembered how much you reacted to one of Eddie's stories with the handcuffs, later mentioning to him that you really liked the idea.
The idea of losing control, giving yourself fully to another partner, and Steve's knees almost gave out right then and there.
He didn't know where the fuck to obtain handcuffs, hence why he immediately ended up at Eddie's door, enduring his endless teasing, sort of hoping that he'd offer to help.
An idea that crossed his mind, but one that he'd never verbalize, unless, you mentioned it too.
The second he showed you the handcuffs you squealed in excitement, putting on your best lingerie, making a show out of everything before the two of you didn't hesitate to jump on each other. His clothes scattered in the room, you in your lingerie, hungry for each other.
His mouth lingered, scent so intoxicating that you could feel your thighs dampen, lips all over your skin and hands squeezing whatever he could grab onto, both of you feral.
“Y'know I didn't wanna have to do this,” he murmurs into your lips, bringing the cuffs in your view, playing into it, enjoying the giggles you give him in return. 
“Please, sir, promise I'll be good,” you pout with those doe eyes, making Steve almost cave in, cock stirring against his tight boxers, begging to be attended to. 
He gives a rough grunt before pining your hands above your head “That’s my girl.” 
“But you still have to be punished,” he hisses quietly, putting his weight on top of you, the cold metal off the first cuff making you shiver, he tightens it as soon as he locks it, making sure your other wrist is free, for now. “Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on ya, doll.” His hums make you whine loudly.
“For now.” You can feel his smirk widening when his lips attack yours again, hungry, as his bulge presses against your inner thighs, his hand holding your cuffed one in place, making you mewl desperately, kisses traveling down your chest. 
And of course, you use his distraction to your advantage, quickly grabbing onto his free hand, the second cuff clicking onto its place before he can even attempt to protest. 
“I guess we’re even now, pretty boy,” you tease with a sultry voice, but Steve’s head pops up to meet your doe eyed gaze with a panic. 
“Did you just handcuff us both to the bed?” He asks, shear dread overtaking his face, making you furrow your brows. 
“Yeah, baby, that’s the whole point,” you giggled, attempting to kiss him again but he pulled away. “Fuck,” he groaned, making you roll your eyes. 
“Oh c’mon, I know you have a thing for women being in control.” 
True, and it would’ve turned him on, almost made him bust out right then and there, if the context was any different, but instead he could just groan in panic. “Oh, sweetheart, I do, but fuck-”
“What?” You ask, face puzzled.
“The keys are in my pockets,” he murmurs, gaze trailing near the dresser. 
Your eyes follow his, the jeans you threw in a hurry were placed upon the dresser, far away from the two of you, and there was no physical way to reach for them. 
Both of you, cuffed to the bed, and no one there to save you.
“Oh, shit.” 
-
The two of you tried every possible position to get out, but there was no fucking luck, and that’s when you finally settled on calling someone for help. 
It was obvious the only person you could call for help was Eddie, but you knew his teasing would be relentless, curls bouncing each time a laughter rumbled from his stomach, making you huff out immaturely. 
“Seriously, Eddie, this isn’t funny!” Steve chided, a bit playfully considering he knew how stupid the two of you must’ve looked, and it just made Eddie chuckle louder and louder. 
“Are you kidding? This is the highlight of my week!” 
“C’mon, Eds, just help us.” Your soft tone caught his attention quickly, his smirk disappearing just as fast before he approached the two of you closer, now able to get a much better look at the two of you. 
“Oh, Harrington, what did you even do?” He rambled, trying to ignore that feeling he always got, but this time much stronger, you in your lingerie, and Steve’s obvious bulge that made Eddie gulp physically. Shit.  
“I totally should’ve offered to teach you both.” He didn’t even know where the fuck that came from. Word vomit.  
“Why didn’t you?” Curiosity got the best of you, and you didn’t even realize the implications of your words, until the two boys snapped their heads in your direction, like you’ve blurted out the most scandalous shit ever. 
“I- uh- what?” Eddie stammered, eyeing Steve carefully, not knowing if this was a joke. Or if both of you actually meant it.
He never thought it was possible. This. The three of you. Sure the dynamic between all of you had been tethering on something more. But never straight forward like this. 
It surprised both of you when Steve spoke up, lips twitching into a smirk. “Why didn’t you offer to teach us?” The two of you finished each other’s sentences, it almost looked intentional, as if the two of you have planned this, like the two of you ever talked about this. 
You didn’t, it was just natural. Something you both had been too ashamed to admit. 
Something even Eddie couldn’t admit to himself, other than a few jokes, and some drunken confessions here and there, but nothing like this.
All he ever wanted.
Eddie’s usual confidence was wavering, and it was amusing to see, exciting. Something you’d love to explore. Make him beg. God, you knew he’d sound pretty as fuck when he whined. 
“W-would you guys want that?” Stammering, again, yet you can’t get too cocky, because you know once Eddie fully wraps his head around what the fuck is happening, he’ll lean back into that domineering side. After the countless stories the two of you  have heard, it intrigues you both. So you and Steve unanimously help him to get there. 
“If we didn’t, we wouldn’t offer it, Munson,” you encouraged, watching the way his eyes oggle both of you, curious, ecstatic, that dirty mind conjuring something.
“So… you’re both sure about this?” 
“Sure that I want to be fucked by both of you? I think so, Munson.” You roll your eyes, so bored of the fact that you’ve been handcuffed for the past twenty minutes with no action, and because you knew it’d rile Eddie up. You’ve seen the flare in his gaze before, jaw locking in each time you rolled your eyes at him. 
And it works, like a switch, you see the dominance bubbling up on his face.
“Feisty that one, isn’t she, Stevie?”
“Mmhm, the dirtiest mouth,” Steve adds, soft hands squishing your cheeks with a smirk, insides feeling gooey with the way they both eye you. 
He tssked, “Haven’t you taught her some manners?” You whined slightly at that comment, they both knew what you wanted, what you desired, your boundaries… everything. 
A dynamic that’s been brewing for months… finally exploding into reality, and of fucking course you couldn’t hide your excitement, making Eddie grin. 
He’s quick to uncuff Steve, a groan leaving his lips at the relief from the cold metal against his skin, making Eddie’s cock stir at the sound. His two play things. And he’s going to have so much fun. 
“Wanna help me teach her some manners, pretty boy?” Steve didn’t even answer, holding you down and spreading your thighs while Eddie grabbed your other hand, cuffing you properly this time, tightening it and relishing in your pathetic mewls. 
Biting the inside of your thighs, Steve didn’t hesitate to tease you, spreading your pussy lips open to show it to Eddie, both of them grinning hungrily, “look how pretty she looks, Eds.” 
“Such a gorgeous pussy,” Eddie hummed, admiring, groaning with a deep sigh. 
All he fucking dreamed about. 
Glistening with your arousal, inviting him in, and those goddamn sultry eyes were driving him insane, making him blink twice to make sure he wasn’t imagining, both of you looking at him like you wanted to eat him up. 
A kind of attention he wasn’t used to, but it got him more and more riled up, confident, trailing his fingers by your inner thighs, the sensation of Steve’s lips brushing against your thighs while Eddie’s fingertips softly teased at your skin was something straight out of a dream. 
Eddie looked at Steve, a subtle need to get his permission to press his lips to you.
So new… boundaries blurred and unknown, and Steve was quick to nod, hungrily watching the two of you, cock straining so hard against his boxers that he was aching.
Desperate. 
Eddie was more or less the same, especially when you initiated the kiss, the softness of your lips brushing against his, making him whine pathetically. 
It didn’t take long for him to take control again, the dynamic between the three of you changing ever so quickly, Steve still ghosting inside of your thighs, stomach, chest, legs, everywhere.
And shit… Eddie was a good kisser. 
His lips were demanding, soft but somehow still teasing, attentive. His tongue didn’t meet much resistance as it danced against yours, smooth, on beat, the type that made flutters appear in your stomach, all the while Steve’s touches making your thighs dampen. 
Too much. But in the best way possible. 
If your hands weren’t tied up, it would’ve been surfing through their soft hair, demanding more attention, making you grew more and more frustrated, a smirk sitting on both of their lips at your pathetic moans. 
A light scruff of Eddie’s beard scratched against your cheeks before he broke the kiss, “Steve,” he hummed, gaining his attention, head popping up all ecstatic, “C’mere.” 
Both of them stick to your side, weight of the bed shifting as the gazes exchanged almost burned each other through the core. Full of longing, desire, and hunger.  
Eddie angled your face toward Steve, “Kiss her,” he demanded.
A demand that didn’t take Steve a second longer to obey, thick fingers brushing against your face as his big hands cupped your heated cheeks, with your lips parted slightly he didn’t hesitate to push his tongue inside your mouth, possessing you fully, completely, an uncontrollable whine slipping past your lips. 
“Fuck,” Eddie whispered, “you guys are so hot.” His breath fanned against your neck, hot hands running down your body, all three of you growing more and more impatient with each ragged breath, Steve’s tongue still shoved down your throat while Eddie played with your breasts, lips on your neck, making you squirm. 
You could feel Eddie’s needy cock pressing against your ass, while Steve’s was barely confined in his boxers, prodding against your thigh, you don’t know how or when it happened but Eddie had joined in on the kiss too, the three of your lips moving in synch, busy between each other’s hot mouths, tongues curious and on beat, all magical and tempting.
Dark depths you always wanted to explore but never could, sloppy and filthy in the best way possible, shutting your eyes close as you enjoyed it, felt it all. 
Unsure of who’s tongue was tangled in yours at this point but you could careless, disorienting you in a way that you couldn’t tell whose hands were hot all over your body, everywhere, messy, and uncontrolled. 
And fuck, did you need more. 
You could tell they did too, dicks twitching against you in a way that made you flutter. 
And it felt like the three of you communicated, telepathically, because both of them, somehow managed to break the kiss, making your face fall in for more, unable to do anything with your hands cuffed to the bed. Infuriating, and not helping the wetness that had well already pooled inside of you. 
“Awww, our pretty baby is needy, isn’t she?” Eddie mocked, both of them shifting down to your thighs, attention all on you as they spread you wider, mesmerized gaze following your every slight twitch. 
“Relax,” Eddie cooed, amber gaze dangerously warm, both making you whine and giving you comfort at the same time, and before you could think, Steve’s hands warmed you up as well. 
“Let us take care of you,” he added, and you couldn’t help but enjoy their squeezing, kneading, making you feel so fucking good. 
You nodded, squirming as Eddie’s bearded chin tickled your skin, planting kisses inside of your thigh, while Steve’s fingers teased you, and all you could do was whine, hips rising from the bed, lust overshadowing the initial doubt. 
“That’s our good girl,” Eddie praised, your thighs spread open, pussy exposed, completely. The two of them taking care of you, hands everywhere and one of their thumbs teasing your entrance, collecting your juices, smearing it around your lips, making you go airborne. 
You could barely comprehend what happened when fingers slipped inside of you, one at first, then two, slicked in your juices, teasing, pumping in and out of you.
Head thrown back, you embrace the euphoria, different fingers entering inside of you, both of them deeper and deeper, squelching noises and your whimpers so heavenly that Eddie could feel his cock twitching, while Steve pathetically rutted into the sheets, desperate for some friction.
Fingering you until you could hear how wet you were, opening you up. Fully exposed to them.
You were too fucked out to notice that they had both started kissing your pussy lips, lapping up your juices, drinking you in, Eddie on one side and Steve on the other. 
Heaven-sent.
You moaned like a bitch in heat, Eddie and Steve’s dripping cocks stirred at the sound, desperate to make you cum, to taste you.
Their fingers linked inside of you, thumbs continuing their rubs, and that hot white spot appeared behind your eyes. 
You wanted to cum.
Fuck that.
You needed to cum.
And who were they to deny their little angel? 
You had earned it.
Back arched, hands tight against the cuffs, all you could do was mewl as their fingers were stretching you, licks all over your hole making your breath ragged, “E-Eds… Stevie… I-I… shit!” 
Eddie was quick to pop his head to meet your gaze, fingers still continuing their movements, flicking your sensitive spots as he gave you that goddamn grin again. “You wanna cum doll… don’t ya?” 
Your body was frail. The most beautiful ache. Your entire nerve system felt like it was about to explode. 
Everywhere. All at once. 
“Come for us,” Steve  encouraged, his and Eddie’s fingers moving faster, Steve lapping up your juices while Eddie’s tongue found your clit, sucking on it like it was his lifeline. 
The softest tongue, but the roughest movements. Just fucking perfect. 
“Oh, fuck!” You hissed, “E-Eddie, S-Steve!” 
“That’s right, slut, scream our name while you come for us,” Eddie demanded. 
And fuck you wanted more, so much more. Just the idea of having two of them inside of you at the same time was enough to have your eyes roll all the way to the back of your head. 
But you couldn’t wait. 
“You-you’re both so… fuck… fu… fu… fuckkkkk…” Your words got caught in the back of your throat, pathetic noises was all they could make out, especially as Eddie’s tongue circled around your clit, suckling, fingers working faster as it finally brought you over the edge. Making you jerk and come so hard that white spots flew behind your eyes. 
The wildfire and the chemistry between the three of you burning your insides, that tingling warm sensation prickling every inch of your skin. 
“God, you taste perfect, sweetheart,” Eddie praised with a low hum. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to hear that fucking moan?”
“You’re so fucking hot, baby,” Steve growled, making you his while he gently uncuffed you, each of their praises sending warm tingles down your spine.
Fuck, they were good. 
And as Steve was about to get up, Eddie stopped him with a quick tut. “Okay, pipe down, sweetheart, you still have a lot to learn.” 
With that dumbfounded look on his face, he turned to face Eddie, making him grin wider. 
“Oh, Stevie you look so cute with that confused look on your face, such a pretty face isn’t he?” Eddie’s attention turned to you, still so domineering that all you could do was frantically nod. 
“Do you wanna help me teach him, baby?” You nodded, again, gaze glazed, overtaken by desire.
The two of you were quick to pin him down, skin meshing all together when you helped Eddie cuff him.
“Let us take care of you, pretty boy.” 
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tightjeansjavi · 3 months ago
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♡ And They Were Roommates ♡
chapter 1 : The Guard Dog
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Pairing | Joel Miller x Logan Howlett x f!reader
A/N: this chapter got away from me so fast, but I’m really pleased with how it turned out! After seeing Deadpool & Wolverine for the first time a couple weeks ago, I immediately re-entered my marvel phase and rewatched both Deadpool movies and all of the x-men/wolverine movies (yes, it’s an obsession) the Wolverine was always one of my favorite marvel characters outside of Deadpool and Iron Man. I’m so happy that myself and others are taking the leap to write for him and other characters 🥹 I hope you all enjoy this mini series! I’m super excited for it 💗 comments and reblogs are always appreciated! Thank you @sinsofsummers for betaing and letting me yap at u! And thank u @syd-djarin for also letting me yap 🥰
word count: 8.8k
Summary: after saving the world with Wade, Logan finds himself in a new, strange world. Human life is scarce, (as far as he can see). There’s weird looking mushroom-headed fucks, and he doesn’t have a clue what year it is, either. After traveling aimlessly for months, the Wolverine runs into you, and your guard dog of a boyfriend, Joel Miller.
Warnings: mature themes, smut, implied age gap, brief mention of a gunshot wound, touch of angst, language, derogatory comments about mutants (by Joel) alcohol consumption, brief mention of ouid, pining, hints of a throuple/love triangle, voyeurism (sorta) this Logan is the ‘worst’ variant, but you can picture him however you’d like!, reader has no physical descriptions (I imagine her to be short, but she is a blank slate) +18, minors dni!
series masterlist
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If someone had told you before the outbreak that in 20ish years, (math is not my strong suit, sorry) you would be living the life of “luxury” with not only one guard dog as a boyfriend, but two who also were boyfriends, you would have laughed in that person's face and told them that they were in fact insane—but now? Now you wouldn’t even question it. Your life in Jackson before meeting Joel Miller and Logan Howlett was the closest thing to normalcy that you had experienced since the outbreak. You had a home again, a job, and a purpose. But like all things, you were craving more; something new and exciting. Instead of you finding it, Joel Miller found you—or was it the other way around?
He was old fashioned in every sense. Insisting on properly pursuing you after you caught his eye at the corner of the bartop of the tipsy bison. Your care-free spirit and intoxicating aroma had his mind reeling at the thoughts of what he could be doing to you if it was just the two of you in the Bison, all alone with no distractions or disturbances.
He hadn’t thought about women, or sex, or settling down with someone in over 20 years. But here you were, throwing back another shot of whiskey and subconsciously unnerving him further without having any idea as to what it was that you were doing to him.
You were, however, aware that he was watching you, carefully between his harsh swigs from the glass that was perfectly perched in one of his meaty palms.
Mr. New and Exciting is right there. What are you waiting for? Your mind pointed out the obvious as if there was a flashing arrow right above the man’s head of thick, salt and peppered streaked curls that you were dying to run your fingers through.
You downed the remaining contents of your glass for that extra boost of liquid courage and made your move before he could even properly execute his own plan to approach you.
He stiffened, jaw ticking when he felt the bare heat from your arm brush against his own, sending sparks shooting down his forearm all the way down to where his large hand was tightly gripping the glass.
“I’m here to break the ice between us, stranger. Y’know, considering you’ve been staring at me for the past…hour.”
“Excuse me?” He scoffed, bringing the rim of his glass up to his lips for a moment. “Think you oughta get your eyes checked out first before ya start makin’ accusations.” He grumbled, low and deep. His eyes flickered in your direction, brows furrowed together across his forehead in a harsh line.
“Think my eyes are working just fine, thank you very much.”
He tore his harsh gaze away from your face and focused his attention on the mounted moose head on the wall instead. “Buzz off, darlin’. I ain’t lookin’ for conversation.” He snarled and went to slide off the worn down seat, but he was frozen in his spot when your hand wrapped around his bulging bicep, and he felt like a leashed, obedient dog.
“You think I’m here to talk?” You laughed and he immediately felt a hot flush rise from his neck and creep up his face at your brash confidence.
“Ain’t that what most women want nowadays?” He countered your boldness with a gravelly chuckle that sent warmth immediately spreading across your entire body at the scratchy, deep, sound that emitted from his throat.
“Lucky for you, I’m not like most women. Now, how about instead of eye fucking me from across the bar, why don’t we skip the small talk and you take me home instead?” You said with a coy smile and a suggestive tilt of your chin. You loosened your grip around his bicep only to then drag your fingers down the expanse of his arm, watching the muscles there subtly flex from your featherlight touch.
He weighed out his options, glancing around the crowded bar, leaning in close to crowd your personal space entirely. His eyes flickered down towards your lips, and then his heedy gaze met your own almost in a challenge.
“Don’t gotta tell me twice, darlin.’” He rasped, reaching for your hand.
And only when you found yourself with your back pressed against Joel Miller’s front door, and his lips attacking your own, did he finally tell you his name between bruising kisses and wandering hands.
And well, the rest is history.
~~
Your arrangement with Joel worked flawlessly for an entire year, and while you both were content without having any labels, being known as Joel Miller’s girl never failed to make your heart melt, and he fucking turned into a goddamn puddle on the floor anytime he got to hear refer to him as your boyfriend.
Life truly could not have gotten better for either of you, but it certainly could get worse in Joel’s case of repeated misfortune. That misfortune being Logan Howlett, the last standing mutant to exist in this universe and now the bane of Joel’s existence.
“What in the fuck are those things comin’ out of your hands?!” A very angry, cold, and bewildered Joel Miller barked over the metallic click of the Wolverine's claws being unsheathed between his knuckles.
“Ya got two workin’ eyes, don’t ya, pal? The fuck do they look like to you?!” The stranger growled, advancing towards the other man.
“Joel?!” Another man’s voice was heard in the distance, followed by thundering hooves and a sharp whinny.
“I got this handled, Tommy!” The other man snapped when Tommy rode up beside him, immediately hopping down from the saddle with his rifle at the ready at the immediate threat in front of them.
Logan was able to quickly piece together with limited information that these two men were brothers, just based on their similar looks and mannerisms.
“Listen, boys, if I was you, I’d lower them guns and pretend that ya never crossed paths with me.”
“Are those fuckin’ knives coming out of his fists?!” Tommy Miller whispered to his brother who nodded in confirmation.
“Yeah, he’s some mutant freak. Somethin’ FEDRA musta cooked up.” Joel responded in an equally hushed whisper.
Logan swiftly turned his head to the side, an audible cracking sound in his neck could be heard through the chilling evening air. “You’re really gonna regret callin’ me that, bub.” He snarled, barring his teeth like a rabid dog and advanced forward with full intent to slash his claws through the other man’s chest.
Joel’s reflexes were surprisingly fast even in his age, and when Logan advanced forward, he pulled the trigger on his own rifle, the shot ringing through and startling a flock of birds in a nearby tree, sending them flying upwards towards the sky in a haphazardly direction, squawking loudly.
The bullet hit Logan square in the chest, but the Wolverine barely even staggered backwards from the force of the bullet, and he let out an animalistic, nothing-short-of-pissed-off growl while the two men a short distance away had equal looks of horror on their faces when Logan’s body began to push the embedded bullet out from his chest and heal the once open wound.
The single bullet landed in the snow beneath Logan’s boots just as a high pitched whistle could be detected in the distance.
“What the actual fuck…his body can regenerate itself?!” Tommy whispered to his brother in disbelief.
Joel ignored him and raised his rifle towards the Wolverine again, thumb hovering over the trigger when you appeared on your horse through the snowy cluster of evergreens.
“JOEL! HOLD YOUR FIRE!” You demanded and swung your leg over the saddle, landing on the ground without fault and quickly inserted yourself between the Miller Brother’s and the seething Wolverine with your hands lifted in the air above your head.
“What the hell are you doin’ here?!” Joel diverted his attention to you and your untimely arrival. “Get behind me! We don’t know who or what the fuck this guy is, and he’s clearly dangerous!”
“Listen to your girl, bub. Lower your fuckin’ gun and jus’ let me pass, and we can forget this whole thing fuckin’ happened!” Logan yelled over your shoulder, nostrils flaring and muscles flexing with unbridled rage.
“Will you both just shut the fuck up?!” You snarled in frustration and glared over your shoulder at your unpredictable boyfriend. Let’s all just lower our weapons and take some deep, calming, breaths.”
“Un-fuckin’ believable.” The Wolverine scoffed, fighting the urge to roll his eyes at your assertiveness.
Joel and Tommy both slowly and very reluctantly lowered their rifles towards the ground, but the Wolverine’s extended metal claws did not retract at your demand.
“That includes you too, knives.”
Logan couldn’t help but smirk at your choice of nickname given the current circumstances. Man, you had some bigger balls than your boyfriend, that was for damn sure.
“Say it to me a little more gently, sweetheart. Your boyfriend over there got me all riled up, and I jus’ really wanna slash him to bits right now.” He cooed, smirk only then expanding into a wide, toothy grin at both your reaction, and Joel’s.
“Hey! Don’t you fuckin’ talk to her, you—”
“Alright, boys!” You hissed and turned your back so it was fully facing Joel. “Now, this ain’t some contest to see who has the bigger cock, alright? Looks like y’all got off on the wrong foot…clearly.” You stated the obvious.
“Yeah, and I was just passin’ through the area when your boyfriend and I unfortunately crossed paths.” He said gruffly, hackles raised in irritation.
“You’ll have to excuse my boyfriend, he can be trigger happy at times, but within reason. So, let’s start this whole thing over, alright?”
“Think we should just send this freak on his way—”
“JOEL!” You and Tommy whispered loudly in unison.
“Maybe you oughta put a muzzle on that one. Seems like he can’t keep his fucking mouth shut.” Logan snickered.
“Yeah, don’t worry about him, alright? He’ll get muzzled later. So, uh—where exactly are you headed…?” You questioned him warily, realizing that you still didn’t know this mysterious man’s name.
As if he was capable of reading your mind, he could tell by your facial expressions and body language alone that you were wondering what his name was.
“It’s Logan.” He answered your hypothetical question softly, far softer than he had spoken to Joel. “Logan Howlett. That’s my name. And to answer your question, I’m not headed anywhere in particular. Like I said, jus’ was passin’ through the area. Not lookin’ for trouble.” He lowered his fists to his sides, claws finally retracting into his knuckles, the skin healing over instantly.
“Logan.” You repeated his name just as softly. “I understand that you were just passing through, but unfortunately, we can’t just let people pass through without stopping them and questioning them.”
“Yeah, well, don’t think your boyfriend had any intention of just questioning me, sweetheart. S’a good thing that you arrived jus’ in time, cause the way that I see it…” he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and cockily tilted his head to the side, “you wouldn’t have a boyfriend anymore, and woulda been bringing what’s left of him back home in pieces.”
Joel’s muscles went rigid and his eyes darkened, appearing like two black holes instead of the comforting warm brown tone that you were accustomed to. He shook off Tommy’s hand immediately when he went to grab his shoulder to drag him away from the intense brewing situation.
You let out a sigh, rubbing your temples with your gloved fingers. Fucking men and their big dicks and even bigger egos. Un-fucking-believable.
“That is quite enough!” You snapped through the frigid air. “Tommy, please be a doll and escort your brother back to town. I can handle this on my own.”
“Like hell—”
“She’s got this handled, Joel. She’s more than capable. If she ain’t back within the next hour, we’ll come back.” Tommy reassured him with a gentle, yet firm squeeze to his shoulder.
“Fine.” Joel muttered under his breath, pulling his shoulder free again and took a few steps towards you. “See you at home, baby.” He whispered only for your ears to hear and pulled you in for a swift kiss on the lips.
Logan couldn’t help but let out a low wolf whistle at the sight. Fair play. He mused to himself.
“Yeah, see you at home.” You mumbled against his lips, kissing him back and gently shoving him away towards the direction of Tommy and their awaiting horses.
“That’s some guard dog of a boyfriend that you got yourself there, darlin’,” Logan said in amusement, unsheathing his middle claw in Joel’s direction with a condescending and dripping in arrogance grin.
“You have no idea.” You said with a light laugh, turning on your heel to face him again. “So, you’re just passing through the area, right?”
His middle claw retracted slowly with a clink, and he crossed his broad arms against his chest with a tight nod of his head. “Yeah, that’s right.”
“Are you infected?”
“The fuck—infected? I don’t got a goddamn clue what you’re talkin’ about, sweetheart.”
“Y’know, the cordyceps infection? The outbreak happened like…twenty somethin’ years ago, but there’s still infected roaming about.”
“Huh.” He chuckled softly, balancing his weight from one foot to the other. “That would explain the lack of humans that I’ve run into lately. This earth seems pretty damn scarce.”
“This…earth? I don’t think I quite pick up what you’re putting down, Logan.”
He pushed out a deep sigh and slowly dragged a hand over his face. “Don’t even get me started.”
“Alright, and your claws…have you always had them?”
He steeled his expression, lips curving downwards into a subtle frown, and his body language alone was an indication that you crossed an invisible boundary.
“Since I was a kid, yes.” He flexed his hands and stared at them as if they weren’t attached to his body. “Used to be less…metal.”
“And what about the fact that your body can regenerate itself and heal? Is that…part of your mutation?” You gestured to the bullet laying in the snow by his boots, still stained with his blood, and yet there was no sign of a wound in his chest any longer.
“Yeah. I still…feel physical pain like everyone else, but it only lasts for a second at most. Well, depending on the severity of the wound, and how many I sustained.”
A hidden flush rose up his cheeks and he coughed into his shoulder to hide his bashfulness from your prying eyes. He gave you a disgruntled look, nodding in an attempt to be polite, but it came out gruffer than he intended. “The hell is FEDRA?”
It was your turn to feel flustered beneath his stare, and stoic demeanor. You almost didn’t notice the way you spewed out the facts, familiar to you like the back of your own hand.
He inclined his head, but looked back up and narrowed his eyes. “And these…infected? They used to say that about us—I mean, me. What’s the difference?”
You tried not to look so shocked at his confessions of ignorance, and somehow managed to blurt out an explanation.
“Oh, those mushroom head lookin’ freaks? Yeah, I’ve run into them a few times here and there, but they all run away from me.” He shrugged. “What in god's green earth is a rat king?”
Your eyes widened drastically. You had never heard of such a thing. “You’re telling me that the infected run away from you? There’s no way—I mean, that’s a first. The rat king is…never mind. Let’s just hope you don’t meet one.”
“Might have somethin’ to do with the Adamantium is my guess. Gotta say, they’re pretty nasty lookin’.”
“Yeah, no shit.” You snorted under your breath. “Look, Joel is probably gonna kill me, but given the current circumstances…do you want to come back to town with me? You’re a long way from wherever you came from, and well, you look like you could use some rest and a proper meal.” You knew with full intent that offering Logan to come back to Jackson with you was risky for a multitude of reasons, and the biggest reason was knowing that Joel was gonna throw a fucking fit.
“I don’t think your boyfriend would really like that idea, sweetheart.” He said with a sigh, picturing what the next few months would be like in total isolation, with no reprieve or end.
“He’ll give me an earful about it, but morally, I can’t just leave you out here alone. So, are you capable of riding a horse?” You gestured with your thumb over your shoulder in the direction of your horse impatiently pawing at the snow.
“I suppose a bit of hospitality doesn’t sound all that bad. Y’all got liquor? Could use me a stiff drink about now. And yeah, I know a thing or two about riding.”
Oh.
“We got more than just liquor, Logan.” You leaned in with a small grin, “we got a bar, bacon, and endless whiskey that has since been perfected by Joel’s brother, Tommy. He’s the more reasonable one out of the pair.”
“Shit. Are ya serious? Bacon and whiskey?” His mouth was already watering at the phantom taste of liquor on his tongue. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a damn good drink.
“Deadly serious.”
“Well then, lead the way.” He nodded in your horse's direction.
You made the choice to stay in the front of the saddle while Logan situated himself on the back and instinctively wrapped his arms around you. “Sorry.” He whispered when he felt your body tense up in his loose grip. “Old habits.”
“S’alright. I just wasn’t expecting it is all.” You tighten your grip around the leather reins, squeezing your calves against the horse's side followed by a gentle click of your tongue to urge the horse into a trot.
The ride back to Jackson was a comfortably quiet one, and it was obvious that Logan wasn’t much of a small talker, and you were more than okay with that.
The only sound between you and him was the occasional squeak of the saddle, a soft snort from your horse, and the thundering hooves across the almost frozen landscape. You slowed to a lope, reaching behind you blindly into the saddlebag and grabbed a white flag, raising it in the air above your head.
The large, looming gates that protected Jackson from outside forces were suddenly pulled open, revealing the hidden community inside and Logan was completely awestruck.
You looked over your shoulder to see his reaction, and you couldn’t help the smile that slowly crossed over your lips at the sight of this brutish, and conflicted man, almost with tears in his eyes because he was seeing what remained of civilization and humanity at the core.
~~
To say that Joel was pissed when you showed up with that fucking mutant freak outside his front door was an understatement. Joel was livid—furious—charged up with rage the second he locked eyes with Logan.
“You have got to be fuckin’ kiddin’ me. You brought him home?!” Joel hissed between his teeth, almost trembling from how riled up he was.
Man, imagine if this fucker was unfortunate enough to meet Wade fucking Wilson. Logan thought to himself, shaking his head and chuckling under his breath at the mental image of Joel meeting Deadpool for the first time. What a sight that would be.
“Joel, I know you’re angry, and rightfully so, but he’s not infected, and it felt morally wrong for me to just leave him out there on his own.”
“Oh, so I guess we just fuckin’ take in strays now? Is that it? Y’know, you’re supposed to run these things by me first before you just do something irrationally stupid like this!” He hissed.
“Ellie was a stray, and you took her in. I see no difference in this, Joel.” You attempted to reason with him.
“Who’s Ellie?” Logan chimed in, leaned against the entryway with his arms crossed over his chest like he owned the damn place.
“None of your goddamn business, bud.” Joel snapped back quickly, his words cold and biting, but they had no effect on the Wolverine.
“Ellie is his kid. Well, his adopted daughter. Actually, wolvie, she’d lose her goddamn mind if she got to meet a real superhero like you.”
“Not a chance in hell. This—thing isn’t staying here, and he sure as fuck ain’t meetin’ my kid.”
“Ah, so we’ve gone from mutant freak to thing? I’ll take that as an improvement.” Logan snickered under his breath. “I ain't a hero. Far from it actually, so she would unfortunately be met with disappointment.”
“Okay, well, unfortunately, you aren’t the only one who calls the shots around here, Joel. Now, I promised Logan that I would get him a proper meal and a stiff drink. So, either suck it the fuck up and come with us, or stay here and pout like a little kid.”
Damn.
“I hate when you act like you got the bigger set of balls in the relationship, baby.” Joel grumbled under his breath and was already reaching for his discarded coat that was hanging along the well-loved couch.
“Actually, I do have the bigger set of balls, hun. You just need a little gentle reminder now and then.” You shot him a playful wink and pivoted on your heel just as Logan quickly moved out of the way so you could pass through the doorway.
Joel gave the other man a cold stare as he passed him, one that was returned with an acknowledging nod and a small grin before the door swung shut behind the three of you.
Logan had five straight glasses of whiskey in under 20 minutes, leaving you, Joel, and Tommy equally impressed and a tad concerned considering a normal man would surely be on his ass by now after consuming that much liquor in one sitting, but Logan didn’t even appear to be tipsy at all.
“Wanted to apologize to you fellas for how things went down earlier.” Logan announced over the loud chatter and leaned in over the bartop where Tommy was drying off a glass and Joel was swirling the amber contents of his own glass, lost in thought.
“No hard feelings, man.” Tommy was the first to speak up. “I’m sure she told ya why we acted that way in the first place, yeah? We get all kinds of folks crossin’ our paths on patrol, and as long as they ain’t infected, or appearing to be an immediate threat, we let ‘em in.”
“Well, apparently those who appear to be an immediate threat surpass the rules and get let in anyway.” Joel added, tone dripping in sarcasm over the rim of his glass against his lips.
Logan stiffened, jaw clenching and unclenching and he could feel the concealed claws beneath the skin on his knuckles just begging to be unleashed, but he held them at bay.
“I get it, bub. You’re viewing me as a threat, ain’t that right? I show up in your town as a stranger, an outcast with your girl, and you got your hackles raised like a goddamn guardog. Well, I can assure you that I’m not a threat. Learned the hard way a long time ago to not impose on another man’s relationship.”
“As if I’m gonna trust your word?” Joel scoffed, rolling his shoulders forward before he directly looked over at the other man. “I ain’t gonna win a fight with her on this one, but if I even catch a whiff of you tryin’ somethin’ on her, I’ll kick you out so goddamn fast.”
“Noted. Although, I think I’ll stick around for the time being. If your ego wasn’t so inflated, you would probably realize that keepin’ me around is gonna benefit you and this community.”
“Benefit me how exactly? If you’re talkin’ weapons, we don’t need your assistance there. We’re stacked with enough manpower in case there ever was an attack. No one’s got the balls to do that.”
"Like, adamantium.” Your voice floated sweetly over the two brooding men, as you slid into the empty seat between them. “Not only that, but the infected literally turn the other way when he’s crossed paths with them, and oh, let’s not forget that one of his mutation powers is that he can regenerate and heal himself which means he’s pretty much immortal.”
Joel’s face turned red hot with embarrassment with a twinge of irritation. He downed the rest of his glass and slammed it on the counter. He barked an order at his brother to top his glass off. “Bullshit.”
“Would be a shitty lie.” Logan rasped, sliding his empty glass in Tommy’s direction. “I’m older than you, bub.”
“I think I’ve had enough of fantasyland for one fuckin’ day. Adamantium this, mutation that, fucking knives coming out of your hands? Yeah, sure. Older than me? Fat fuckin’ chance, pal.” Joel scoffed, shaking his head and muttering more profanities under his breath.
“He’s like…at least a century old, Joel. If not older.”
“Who is at least a century old?” Ellie chimed in next to Joel as she leaned over the bartop. “Uncle Tommy, can you pour me a beer, pretty please?”
“Ellie.” Joel grumbled, “shouldn’t you be at home doin’ homework?”
Ah, so that’s the old man’s kid. Fitting.
“Dude, it’s the weekend, and I already finished my homework. Dina and I are goin’ to the movies later, but she’s at home freshening up.” Ellie reached over to mess up his hair, but Joel already knew what she was about to do and gently caught her wrist in his hand before she could even get close to his hair.
“The movies?” Logan's question immediately drew Ellie’s attention as Joel dropped her wrist.
“Never seen your face around here before. You new to town?”
“Somethin’ like that.” Logan shrugged. “You're Joel’s kid then?”
“The one and only.” She beamed proudly while Joel scowled. “Wait, so who is at least a century old? I know we’re not talking about you, dad. But you are getting up there. Is that another gray hair I’m detecting? Soon you’re gonna be wearing diapers—” her playful rambling was cut off by Joel’s sharp and scolding tone cutting through the air like a sharpened knife.
“ELLIE!” He half yelled, cheeks inflamed and face turning and even brighter shade of red.
“I’m only kidding! Well, half kidding! One day you will be wearing diapers, old man.”
Logan laughed, a full on, belly-ache inducing laugh where the corner of his eyes crinkled and his smile lines appeared. “Holy shit. Your kid’s a riot!”
“I’ve been telling him that forever, and he just won’t admit it!” She giggled and gently wrapped her arm around Joel’s shoulder to give him a half hug to which he begrudgingly hugged her back, trying to hide his small grin from being noticed.
“You remind me a lot of…well, an old friend of sorts.” Logan looked down.
Ellie finally found her chance to ruffle Joel’s and seized it before he could stop her. “What was the name of your friend? I’m assuming he’s dead, so rest in peace.”
“Ellie!” Joel softly scolded her, “it’s rude to assume that someone died—”
“Wade Wilson.” Logan said softly, staring down at his empty glass with a sigh.
Ellie’s eyes expanded, blown wide in shock and utter disbelief. She was a comic book nerd, and well—a nerd in general. Perhaps it was just sheer coincidence that this stranger knew a Wade Wilson. Surely, it couldn’t be the Wade Wilson that she immediately was thinking of, right?
“Holy fuck. Please don’t crush my dreams and tell me that I’m wrong, but are you talking about the Wade Wilson as in Deadpool? Dude—are you an Avenger?” Ellie leaned over the bartop in Logan’s direction, voice low in a hushed whisper.
“Kid, I’m the furthest thing from an Avenger.” He said quietly, sinking his weight back against the bartop stool. “But I did know Wade pretty well. The fucker is probably alive, somewhere. He’s like a cockroach that you can never kill.”
“Okay, but if you’re not an Avenger…then what are you?”
“I was an X-Man at one point, but they’re all dead now—because of me.”
“Oh my god, are you—you’re the Wolverine, aren’t you? What in the fuck are you doing here? Is this real life? Someone pinch me right now, because there is no way that Logan fucking Howlett is here in the flesh! Dude, can you show me your claws?!” Ellie asked excitedly and it was Joel’s job to rein her in a bit.
“Alright, kiddo. That’s enough questions, alright? Don’t wanna go and overwhelm him. He can show you his…claws another time. Last thing we want is all these people freaking out and screaming bloody murder, right?” Joel said softly to her in his usual dad tone.
“Yeah, yeah you’re right. Sorry about that, Logan. I’m just like—a huge fan of you and the comics. I actually still can’t wrap my head around the fact that this is real life. Anyway, I’ll get out of your hair. Hope you stick around!” She said sincerely before swiping up her glass of beer that was waiting for her and walked away to a different section of the crowded bar.
“Sorry about my kid. She is a huge fan, and definitely meant no harm by freaking out like that. I hope she wasn’t too invasive.”
“S’alright. There’s no harm done.” Logan reassured him.
Joel tapped his knuckles along the bartop, looking over at his brother first who was now at the other end of the bartop where his wife Maria was sitting. And then he looked at you and finally Logan. “Look, we got off on the wrong foot earlier today and I’m sorry about that. If you don’t got nowhere to go, you should consider staying in town. Sounds like you could be useful, like you said, and my kid would probably kill me if I kicked the Wolverine out for no good reason.”
“I don’t wanna impose, I swear. My plan was to just have a bite to eat and a few drinks and then I’ll be on my way.”
“Logan.” You finally spoke, “you should stay. There’s plenty of room for you here. We’ll have to figure out living arrangements, but in the meantime, you can sleep on our couch?”
The Wolverine’s warm hazel eyes slowly flitted over to you, a soft smile gracing his face before he glanced over at your boyfriend whose jaw was beginning to tick, again.
“Only if your guard dog is alright with that arrangement, sweetheart.”
Joel took a deep breath and released the built up tension that he felt in his shoulders. “The couch is all yours, Logan. We’ll get you out on patrol starting next week. You’ll fit right in.”
And boy, did he fit in.
~~
Logan did more than just fit in, he added a new welcoming dynamic to Jackson and he was an absolute hit with the kids both old and young. (He may or may not have smoked weed with Ellie, Dina and Jesse one night, but no one will ever know the truth)
He looked forward to being on patrol with Joel and Tommy every single day, (sometimes in the evenings). Having a purpose in his life again made him feel complete, and there was that extra perk of getting to kill people—bad guys, every now and then. Logan took numerous bullets for both Miller brothers and he felt this swelling sense of pride in his heart when Joel would go out of his way to tell him that he did a good job out there and sometimes there was even a firm, lingering pat on his shoulder followed by a, thanks for keeping the town safe, Logan. Don’t know what I’d do without ya.
Logan liked to hear those words from Joel’s mouth more than he was willing to admit. Almost as much as he liked coming home to you at the end of the very long and grueling day. Despite his promise to Joel that he wouldn’t try anything on you, he felt that there was nothing wrong with developing a harmless crush on both of his roommates, right?
Well, lucky for the Wolverine, you were beginning to fall down that rabbit hole, too. Especially when Logan would strut around the house shirtless in the mornings while you were getting ready for your day at the barn, ripped abs, resembling glossy freshly baked rolls were on full display paired with that knee-weakening smile that appeared over the rim of his steaming mug of coffee. He’d even accompany you to the barn, spending time with you and the horses till he would saddle up for patrol.
“Joel.” You whispered through the darkness in your shared bedroom.
“This better be goddamn important.” He grumbled tiredly, rolling over so he was facing you and draped his arm across your bare waist, tugging you into his chest so he could pepper your face with affectionate, sleepy kisses. “Thought you said you were too tired for round three, baby.” He drawled against your ear, playfully nipping at the lobe with his teeth.
“Baby, I promise you it’s super important.” You pressed a kiss to the sliver of exposed skin on his neck, throwing your thigh over his hip so if he wanted to, he could slip right into your silky, enticing warmth with ease.
“Mmm. Alright then. Spit it out. What’s on your mind, pretty girl.” He hummed against your skin, rolling his hips languidly into yours, a small grunt slipped past his lips when the head of his cock brushed through your slick folds and dragged upwards across your still sensitive clit.
“Y—you have to promise that you won’t get mad at me, okay?” You gasped softly, biting down on the juncture where his jaw met his neck.
“Baby, if you don’t fuckin’ spit it out right now, I’ll just have to fuck it out of ya.” He said through gritted teeth, reaching between your bodies with his freehand so he could grasp the base of his cock with ease and slowly feed himself into your warm, wet, enveloping walls with zero resistance.
“I want to fuck Logan.” You finally spit it out, waiting for your partner to scold you, but he did the complete opposite and bucked his hips against yours so he was completely bottomed out, stretching you open the same way he did a couple hours ago. “Yeah.” He gruffed out, finally finding your lips in a searing kiss, “know you do.”
Just down the stairs, lounged out on the couch with a glass of whiskey in one hand and tv remote in the other, Logan was trying his best to distract his brain from what he was hearing upstairs (damn his heightened sense of hearing). For the past 20 minutes he had been listening to you and Joel getting it on, and now he was dealing with a small problem—a rather large problem, actually. That problem being that the crotch section of his jeans were becoming unbearably tight, and even after he popped the button and yanked the zipper down, that wasn’t enough relief.
He let out a frustrated growl, throwing his head back against the couch and brought his freehand up to his forehead, rubbing his temples and squeezed his eyes shut. He was fighting an internal battle of whether he was going to act like a nasty dog and jerk himself off, or fight the urge all together. He fumbled with the remote, turning the tv up to full volume thinking that it would drown your sweet little noises out, and Joel’s manly grunts, but it did jack all and he finally gave in and gently palmed himself through his jeans.
That’s when he heard your voice as clear as day.
I want to fuck Logan
That’s all it took for the last shred of his resistance to fall away at the same rate that he had pulled his cock free, squeezing it firmly in his fist before he pulled his hand back, splitting a glob of saliva onto it and wrapped it back around the base of his cock.
~~
You let out a surprised squeak when Joel bucked his hips against yours, burying himself completely in your warm cunt. You scrambled to find something to grab onto, sinking your nails into his strong biceps when he withdrew his hips halfway before thrusting them forward again.
“Known for awhile that you want to fuck him, baby. Neither of you are great at hiding it either. You should see the way he drinks in your appearance the minute you walk into the goddamn room.” He mumbled against your lips, caging you in his arms when he began to pick up a steady rhythm, listening to the soft squelch of your pussy sucking him in further with each powerful thrust. “Thought about tellin’ Logan that he should just make a move, but I wanted to discuss it with you first.”
“Oh, fuck.” You moaned freely, lips falling away from the kiss briefly before finding one another again like two magnets. “So, you’re okay with it then?”
“Fuck yeah, I am. But under one condition.” He stilled his hips, reaching his freehand back down between your connected bodies so he could play with your clit at his leisure.
Your body twitched in his arms from the sudden stimulation and that familiar tingling feeling that was blooming deep in the pit of your stomach as your walls clenched tightly around him, squeezing his cock like a vice. “What’s the condition?”
“I get to watch him fuck you. If y’all wanna get acquainted and fool around beforehand, that’s fine with me, but I get to watch him fuck you.” He rasped and in one swift movement, he maneuvered you onto his lap, cock still buried deep inside of you. The kiss was broken briefly so that he could gaze up at you through hooded eyes. “And if you’re lucky, maybe I’ll even wanna join in. Jus’ am curious to see how well you take another man’s cock, baby. M’sure Logan is gonna be thrilled.” He grabbed a handful of your ass, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh with his thick fingers. “The way I see it, It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved.” He let out a sharp breath when you instinctively rolled your hips against his, foreheads pressed tightly together.
“I fucking love you so much, Joel.” You whispered against his lips, carding your fingers through his hair and tugged on the roots gently so his head was tilted back slightly. You could feel his smirk form in the sloppy kiss, and the way he tugged you closer, chests pressed together.
“I love you too, baby. Jus’ wanna see my girl happy s’all. And if fucking the goddamn Wolverine makes you happy, then so be it.”
Logan could hear every squeak from the old mattress, the wooden frame smacking the wall in sync with the heavy weight of Joel’s thrusts, and he could even hear the wet, squelch of your pussy, and skin slapping on skin. The mental images he created in his mind spurred his wrist to move faster, jerking his cock like a horny teenager that had stumbled across the adult magazine section in a grocery store for the first time.
He gnawed on his lower lip till it began to bleed and then healed over immediately after. His lashes fluttered, muscles growing taught and veins bulging the closer he got to cumming in his fist. He bit down on the back of his hand, hard enough to draw blood, and the stinging pain mixed with pleasure sent him right over the edge with stars dotting his vision before he slumped back against the couch, cock spent and growing soft.
“The fucker probably can’t wait to bury his face between your thighs, inhale your scent and eat your sweet pussy like a man starved. Bet it’s been so fuckin’ long for him, that he’ll cream his pants the second he even catches a sliver of your skin.”
“Well, bub, you got one thing right, that’s for damn sure. I can’t wait to bury my face between your girl's thighs and eat her sweet pussy like a man starved.” Logan chuckled to himself, letting out a content sigh as he glanced down at the mess of his release coating his hand, and his happy trail.
He reached over the coffee table for his almost abandoned glass of whiskey and quickly downed the rest before snatching up one of the cigars Joel had so kindly gotten for him and a box of matches. And just as he lit the end of the cigar, and kicked his feet up on the coffee table so he could get more comfortable, his ears were blessed with the high pitched sounds of you orgasming. “Fuck.” He nearly groaned, cock twitching pathetically at the pornographic sound you emitted.
~~
The sun had not even begun to rise in the sky, but there was a chill in the air, a telling sign that fall was on the horizon and the changing of seasons. The early morning light was softer now compared to the summer months, and bathed Joel’s exposed back in a warm, golden glow.
You curled your body around his, hugging him like a koala when he went to untangle his legs from your own. He let out a throaty chuckle, raspy and sticky with prior slumber when you tighten your grip around him.
He blindly reached behind, finding your bare thigh and gave it an affectionate squeeze and gentle pat with his calloused palm. “C’mon, baby.” He rasped, “gotta pee, and then I’m gonna go find Tommy’n get an early start.”
“Stay in bed.”
“S’temptin.’” he mused, rolling over with a soft grunt so he was facing you finally.
“It’s fucking freezing in here, Joel. You’re my personal heater, and I forbid you from leaving.”
“Mmm.” He nuzzled his face against your pulse point, inhaling your familiar scent with a content sigh. “Could always ask Logan to take my place…” He trails off.
“Are you trying to make me soaking wet right now?” You teased.
You could feel him grinning against your skin as he pressed an open-mouthed kiss at the juncture where your jaw met your neck. “Why? Is it working?”
“Why don’t you find out?” You said coyly, finding his hand to slowly drag it between your bare thighs, but he was acting stubborn; the gall he had.
“No can do, my little minx.” He retracted his touch from you all together, finding an opening to slip out of your warm embrace and swung his legs over the side of the bed before pushing himself up. You could hear a faint crack in his lower back the moment he stretched his arms above his head, and he cheekily pivoted his hips to the side just so you could enjoy the little show and dreamily watch the way that his heavy cock swung between his thighs.
Letting out a groan that was nothing short of frustrating, you rolled over onto your stomach, kicking your legs up behind your head languidly with your chin propped in your palms. “Can’t believe you’re gonna choose your brother over me, and my drooling pussy, Joel.” You said with a noticeable pout.
He bent down, grabbing ahold of his discarded shirt from the night before and pulled it over his head and shoulders, obstructing your view of his broad chest and soft, kissable tummy. “You and your droolin’ pussy will live, sweetheart.” He took a few steps towards the bed, leaning down to brush his lips against yours in a sweet peck.
“Actually, I don’t think we will. I think we’re both gonna die a truly excruciating death if you don’t be a man and take care of the mess I’m making in your sheets.” You mumbled against his lips, attempting to deepen the kiss further, but he swiftly pulled back, brows crinkled in amusement as he observed your pout of frustration, and that yearning look glossed over in your eyes before his gaze traveled down the curve of your spine and between your thighs.
He chuckled in amusement when you arch your back and spread your legs further just so he could see how swollen and puffy your pussy looked from this angle, dripping with need, desperate to be played with, to be filled.
“Put your pussy away, you preening slut.” He said teasingly, not meaning it in an overtly degrading way, and simply just a jest; all in good fun.
“Fiiine.” You sighed in defeat, dropping your weight from your elbows and plopped down, face first into his pillow dramatically.
“Poor baby.” He cooed and leaned down, pressing his lips to the side of your head. “I’ll let Logan know that you and your needy little pussy will be waiting for him.”
“Go piss already, old man.” You grumbled into the pillow.
“Goin’ straight for the jugular, huh?” He chuckled and grabbed the end of the sheet, draping it over you gently before he pivoted on his heel and padded over to the attached bathroom.
~~
Logan was still passed out on the couch when Joel crept downstairs, fully dressed now. There was the faint stench of tobacco, musk, and oh—
Joel didn’t mean to look, he truly didn’t—but it was staring him right in the fucking face, and immediately sent a hot, red flush rising up his cheeks and sweat began to pool at the nape of his neck.
Logan stirred in his heavy slumber, one arm propping up behind his head as a makeshift pillow, bicep muscles bulging even in a relaxed state. His freehand slowly drifted southwards, brushing against the protruding vein on his lower abdomen and trailed right down to the soft, dark, enticing hair on his happy trail.
“I’m fuckin’ losin’ it, I swear.” Joel muttered to himself, scraping his own hand down his face before he quickly made a departure for the kitchen.
He was careful to be quiet, as he didn’t want to disturb the other man while he prepared himself a steaming mug of coffee, one of his many guilty pleasures that he never believed he would get to indulge in again.
cue me breaking the 4th wall. I know what you’re all thinking. Gianna, are Joel and Logan going to fuck yet? No, my lovely readers, I’m going to continue to edge you just a little more ����‍↕️ (and by a little more I mean you have to wait till chapter three 😔 but don’t worry! The sexual tension is there, and it’s simmering, but first, some angst!
P.S. if you read this in Deadpool’s voice, I fucking love u and we’re gonna make out now.
Okay, that’s all, folks! Back to the gay pining!
The Wolverine began to mumble in his sleep, not just fragmented words, but names—names of those he once knew, those he lost. The nightmares were never-ending, a constant reminder of the past that could never be undone. Even after teaming up with Wade, and saving the world, Logan still would think about the X-Men. That’s the funny thing about trauma, it never actually goes away, you just learn how to mask it as time goes on.
“Howlett?” Joel hesitantly said from the threshold of the kitchen, footsteps padding towards the living room.
Logan shot up from the couch, with an animalistic yell emitting from his throat. His eyes were wide, sweat pooled down his bare chest and his claws unsheathed with that familiar metal swoosh. He blinked a rapidly, registering where he was before he fell back against the couch and retracted his claws as he caught his breath.
“Logan?…Y’alright in there?”
Fuck.
“Jus’ fine, Miller. Sorry for startling you.” Logan muttered, voice raspy with sleep. It dawned upon him then that last night, after he—well, got himself off, he passed out before he had a chance to tuck his cock back into his jeans.
Guy must really fuckin’ think I’m an animal.
“Are ya decent?”
So, he did see? Fuck.
“Jus’ a minute.”
Joel waited till he heard the sound of a zipper being pulled up, and the metallic clink of a belt before he made his presence known, leaning against the opening of the kitchen with two mugs of coffee now.
He observes the other man silently, watching as he slowly sits up, rubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes, taking a deep lungful of air before exhaling.
“You’re shaking.” Joel states the obvious and hesitantly approaches the couch, sitting down against the side of it.
Thanks, captain obvious.” Logan snorts under his breath, fighting the urge to grin at the other man’s obvious hesitation.
“Those things have a mind of their own, huh?” Joel refers to the metal claws that were once protruding out of Logan’s knuckles.
“Somethin’ like that.” He eyes the second mug of coffee before finally meeting Joel’s gaze. “That for me?”
“What? Oh—the coffee.” Joel feels a flush creeping on as he holds the mug of coffee towards Logan almost as a peace offering. “Yeah.”
Logan reaches for the mug, meeting Joel’s hand halfway before taking it from him. Their fingers brush, and he tries to not notice how fast Joel moves to retract his hand.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” Joel’s response is unintentionally gruff sounding. He sighs, taking a sip from his own mug.
“Do you have them often?”
The Wolverine raises a brow, confusion etched over his face. “What?”
“The nightmares.” Joel clarifies, “do you have them often?”
“Every night.” Logan said just above a whisper. His eyes cast downwards towards the mug in his hands, an unreadable expression crosses his face.
“Well, we got somethin’ in common after all.”
Logan looks up in surprise, studying the other man for a moment. He wants to ask questions, but he doesn’t want to invade Joel’s privacy or pry where he’s not wanted, let alone welcomed.
“Sun ain’t even up yet, bub. Where ya off to?”
“Patrol with Tommy, once I find him. Wanna get an early start.”
Logan doesn’t even think twice before he starts to swing his legs over the side of the couch to stand up, but he’s stopped in his tracks when he feels a warm, calloused palm press down against his bare chest. The movement shocks both men, and the Wolverine falls into submission, sinking back down against the couch pillows that were already crushed under his weight.
“You’ve done well out there, Howlett. Take the day off, and keep my girl company instead.”
Don’t move your hand, bub. Keep it right there. Is what Logan really wants to say.
“Y’sure, Miller?” He tests the waters for any possible ulterior motive that Joel may have.
Much to Logan’s disappointment, Joel slowly removes his hand from his chest, bringing it down to his side, fingers flexing and then curling into a fist as if he’s in disbelief over what he just did.
“Yeah, I’m sure. Between you and me, there ain’t no hidin’ your attraction to her. And well—seems like she’s takin’ a liking to you as well.” Joel said with a light chuckle, bringing his mug back up to his lips and took a quick sip. “And seeing as you won’t grow a pair and jus’ make a move, I figured I’d give you my permission.”
“I ain’t worthy of her, Joel. That’s your girl. If I’ve overstepped—”
“Yeah?” Joel leaned in, close enough that from this angle, Logan could make out every little detail on the other man’s face. “Guess you don’t wanna hear how she’s upstairs right now, leakin’ all over my goddamn sheets like a bitch in heat, huh?”
“And you want me…to—take care of it?” He chooses his words carefully.
“I know you ain’t all that innocent, Logan. You don’t gotta hide that shit from me. You want her? She’s all yours. But, a word of advice, if I may. Let her come to you. She enjoys the chase more than she likes to be chased. Play coy with her. That one lives for a good fuckin’ game of cat and mouse.”
“And this isn’t a trap? Yeah, of course I want your girl. I’d be a goddamn fool if I didn’t.”
“It ain’t a trap. I’m appeasing to both sides, Logan. My only condition is that you can’t fuck her—not yet, at least. I want to be there to watch. Everything else, however, is on the table, so do with that as you will.” He finished off his coffee and pushed himself off the side of the couch. Before the Wolverine could even respond, he had one last thing to say before he would take his leave.
“Oh, and Logan?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ll know if you fucked her without me.”
My panties just disappeared…how did that happen? AND my rose toy just flew into my hand like Thors hammer! Weird…
~~
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greenwitchfromthewoods · 3 months ago
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one night, one call l Joel Miller
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Summary:  the trip to the bar ended differently than you planned
Warnings:  +18, smut, angst, swearing, abusive relationship, crying, mention of violence, unprotected sex (she's on the pill, but remember - safety first), oral sex (receiving f), praise kink, cigarettes
A/N: 200 followers milestone! Thank you so much for being here and dedicating your time to my scribbles. I hope they bring you at least a little joy. Your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. I secretly hope you like this story.🖤 sorry for all the mistakes
The door slammed behind you with a bang that no one heard because of the music playing inside the pub. The night was starry and cool. However, you didn't feel the cold because of the rage and helplessness you felt inside. 
Your cheeks were burning and your throat was painfully tight as you sat down on a nearby bench and helplessly hid your face in your hands, letting out a muffled groan of rage.
You wanted to throw everything to hell, leave town and change your name, but all you felt inside was total humiliation and helplessness.
"Want a smoke?"
A low male voice tore you from the clutches of despair and brought you back to that uncomfortable bench and into the embrace of the cold night. 
You raised your eyes and saw the silhouette of a man who must have approached you when you were despairing. You immediately thought that your lack of vigilance in such a situation was very risky, but you were relieved at the sight of a familiar face.
"Joel..." you sighed, straightening up on the bench, "Thanks, but I don't smoke. Although... Fuck it."
You took a cigarette from the pack he held out to you, then used his lighter. You took a drag and blew a trail of gray smoke from your mouth.
"Thanks." you said, "Did you come to make fun of me again?" you laughed desperately, "We'll have a laugh, and then I'll finally cry."
"Your boyfriend is..."
"Asshole. I know." you interrupted him and put the cigarette to your lips again, "I'm sorry. I'm mad, and he's your friend after all."
"Don't apologize." Joel sat down next to you, sitting comfortably and stretching his long legs in front of him, "He's a dick."
You smiled. 
You had known Joel Miller for a long time, you didn't even know how long. It was at his birthday party that you met Dylan and somehow you became a couple. It was over half a year ago and you were already regretting that you had let Joel convince you to go out.
"He wasn't like this before." you started, staring at the bright windows of the building across the street. "It was cool at first."
"It's always like this." Joel mumbled. "What changed?"
"I don't know." you shrugged. "I guess I started bothering him. Besides... You heard it yourself."
Joel regretted that he had heard everything that had been said between you and Dylan, because it was just terribly unpleasant. 
It started with you wanting to dance, but Dylan wasn't interested. So you went dancing alone, and then he went into a weird jealous phase and gave you a loud lecture about how you dressed like a whore and you definitely want to find yourself a new dick. Your friends tried to calm him down, but when you said he had too much to drink and maybe you should go back, he told you to fuck off because "no pussy will rule him."
You were silent for a moment, finishing your cigarettes and listening to the muffled sounds coming from the pub. Finally, you crushed your cigarette on the edge of the bench.
"How's Sarah?" you asked, looking at Joel, and he smiled.
He always smiled like that when you asked about her.
"Fine." he replied "She's sleeping over at a friend's tonight. So..."
"Daddy's having a night out." you laughed "Cool. It's just a shame you're spending it with me on the bench instead of with your friends inside. You should go back to them."
"Naaah. I don't feel like it." he replied, turning the box of cigarettes in his fingers, clearly lost in thought "Listen, Y/N... I know it's none of my business..."
"Please, I don't want to talk about him." you interrupted him again.
"You don't have to be loyal to someone who treats you like that. I would never do something like that."
"I know, Joel. You're one of the good ones." You smiled. "But I have to handle this, you know. But I guess I'm too afraid of being alone..."
"Better to be alone than with a dick like that. Sorry, but that's the truth." Joel stood up and stretched, then scratched his already slightly ruffled hair. "A hot chick like you deserves someone better."
"Do you think I'm a hot chick?"
Your question made him a little uncomfortable, but he didn't show it. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets.
"You know I do." He replied. "Oh, and that's the smile I like so much."
You shook your head in disbelief.
"Joel, it's not nice to play with a poor girl's heart." you said, standing up and glancing at your watch. "I think I should take my slutty dress home. It's getting really late."
"Do you need a ride?"
"No, thanks. You've already done a lot sitting here with me."
"It's no problem. Call or text if you need anything."
"Sure. Bye."
How could you have known that you would need it that same night?
The sound of the phone ringing echoed through the bedroom and penetrated his head unbearably. He woke up disoriented and immediately reached for his watch. It was almost four in the morning, it was still dark outside.
"Fuck..." he groaned, trying to feel for the phone on the nightstand, "Yeah?"
"J-Joel?"
He immediately woke up and sat up in bed. Your voice had completely changed. A cold shiver ran down his spine.
"Y/N? What happened? Is everything okay?" he asked in a slightly hoarse voice.
"Y-Yeah..." you answered uncertainly, your voice trembling, "No, nothing's okay... I'm sorry, Joel. I didn't know what to... I immediately thought of you and..."
"It's okay. Tell me what happened?" he swung his legs off the bed and rubbed his sleepy eyes with his free hand.
"Dylan... I..." your voice broke every now and then and Joel guessed you were crying "He came here... We had a terrible fight. He was drunk... He tried to..."
"Did he do something to you?"
Joel felt his heart stop for a moment. He wasn't sleepy anymore, but fully conscious. His fingers tightened around the phone as he waited for your answer.
"No, but... He wanted to, so I just threw him out the door." you sobbed, already completely falling apart "He was still screaming and banging on the door... I was terrified..." you sobbed "I told him it was over, that I didn't want to see him anymore... I guess I shouldn't have... I'm sorry I woke you up, I'm so stupid!"
"Hey! Calm down." he interrupted you, getting up and reaching for the jeans lying on the floor "Are you alone now? Did you close the door properly?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
"Where are you now?"
"I locked myself in the bathroom. That's stupid..."
Joel had already put on his jeans and was running down the stairs to the dark living room. He grabbed his car keys lying on the table and headed for the door.
"Stay there. I'll be there in a moment." he said as he walked down the driveway to his car. "I'll call when I'm at your door."
"Joel, that's not necessary..."
But he had already hung up and was starting the engine. He abruptly backed out and a moment later he was driving down one of the main streets. It wasn't until the first red light that he realized that he was gripping the steering wheel with all his might and constantly rushing in his mind.
But he didn't feel like thinking about it. The fear that was coursing through his veins was turning into anger and rage. He felt his heart pounding harder and harder. The whole situation seemed completely unreal to him. But he could still hear your trembling voice, that was the worst.
He stopped in front of your door and as soon as you opened it his knees almost buckled under him. Your eyes were red and puffy, your hair disheveled. He quickly went inside, and you let him hug you.
You sank into his arms as if only they could save you at that moment.
"Hey, it's okay." His voice was soothing as he stroked your hair "I'm here. You're safe."
"Joel..." you groaned, pulling away from him "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called..."
"Stop apologizing, sweetie, and tell me what happened." He replied, taking your face in his hands.
So you told him everything again, and he had to ask you to calm down a few more times, because you were falling apart again. His brown eyes watched you closely, and when you finished, his hand grabbed your wrist.
"What the fuck is this?" he asked coldly.
You looked at your arm. There was a strong and clear mark of a man's hand on your forearm.
"He did it?"
Joel's voice sent shivers down your spine. You'd never heard him like that before. His jaw clenched tightly as he stared at you with such intensity that you felt like he was staring straight through you. You nodded.
You didn't need to say anything more. Joel stormed out of your apartment and you didn't even have time to scream to stop him.
It had been over an hour since you saw him again. The sky was starting to lighten on the horizon when Joel appeared in your doorway. His eyes darkened and his body tensed. He entered the apartment and you already knew that something more had happened.
"Joel?"
"Dylan won't be bothering you anymore." His voice was low but calm.
"Joel? What did you do?" you asked, approaching him.
"I talked to him," he replied. "I should have done it a long time ago. About half a year ago."
Your gaze went to his hand. The bloody knuckles were the answer to everything. You covered your mouth with your hand, terrified.
"He won't press charges, don't worry about that." he said seeing your reaction. "And he definitely won't come near you again."
"You shouldn't..." you choked out, shaking your head.
"Shouldn't I stand up for you?" he asked "Please, Y/N! I couldn't stand to watch how this guy treats you! You deserve so much, so much better." Joel unconsciously raised his voice, but he didn't notice it because the words were spilling out of his mouth "You were always so kind and sweet, and he was a fucking asshole because he didn't see what a wonderful woman he had next to him! It makes me sick to think that you and him... Dylan didn't deserve you, Y/N! He should be happy I didn't knock his teeth out anyway."
"Joel..."
He looked at you from under his furrowed brows. Anger was still boiling inside him, and his hand hurt a little. But none of that mattered. What mattered was you and how you felt. And your eyes were wide, because you were staring at him, terrified by everything that had happened. 
"Listen, Y/N..." he said, approaching you and taking your face in his hands. "I won't let anyone hurt you again, do you understand? You shouldn't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. He was a fucking bastard, he just let it out now. I'm just sorry you had to go through this."
"I wasn't alone..."
He felt your hands on his, they were so pleasantly warm and soft. And although your eyes were still red, he didn't see the same fear in them as when he first saw you. Maybe that's why he decided to finally do it, something he had been thinking about for so long, but still thought he shouldn't.
You felt his warm lips as they crushed yours. A few gentle pecks, but when he felt you return his kisses, they became deeper. You felt his tongue as he slipped between your lips, caressing you pleasantly.
Your body responded automatically. You clung to him, sliding your fingers through his hair. He smelled of the remnants of his cologne and the cigarette you had smoked together, but it didn't bother you. 
This was him, the one you knew. The one who defended you and was always there for you, who told you nice things and was happy to see you. The one who would never hurt you.
"Say the word..." he murmured in your ear as his kisses slid down your neck "I don't want you to regret this."
"I only regret that we didn't do this earlier." you replied "I want you, Joel. If you want me."
"You don't even know how much..."
His hands rested on your hips, squeezing them lightly and pushing them closer to his. You immediately felt the bulge in his jeans and something pleasant fluttered in your lower abdomen. You were the cause of it, and it was exciting.
You didn't remember how on earth you got rid of your clothes, slowly heading towards your bedroom, breaking the kisses only for a moment to get rid of another unnecessary piece of clothing. You always thought Joel was handsome, but when you saw him naked you felt your mouth get wetter.
Wide and strong shoulders covered in skin that looked as if kissed by the sun, a soft belly and a nice path of hair leading to a hard manhood. You were the one who looked like a walking mess, but he didn't see that.
"Fuck, you're so beautiful." he whispered as he laid you on the bed and his eyes could feast on your body.
Your body quivered as he moved his hand down your side to your thigh. He smiled seeing you bite your lip. Joel kissed you again, but only for a moment. Soon his lips slowly went down to your collarbone, lower to your sternum, and then closed on your nipple, sucking and caressing it tenderly with his tongue.
You closed your eyes enjoying the feeling, and when his hand gently tightened on your other breast you let out a quiet moan. Joel liked that. His mouth left your nipple with a wet pop to move on to the other. His hard cock pressed against your thigh, and you felt the heat in your body that needed to release.
Your hand slipped between your hot bodies and his sigh of contentment filled your ears as you grabbed his cock and moved your hand up and down. You could feel how wet you were just from listening to his moans.
"I want to taste you." You whispered.
He didn't protest, or rather he couldn't at that moment, so you rolled him onto his back. Now you were the one kissing him, and then you slid lower. Your warm, wet tongue slid down his neck as you kissed and bit the skin, then your lips moved lower and lower across his chest.
He probably let out all the air from his lungs when he felt your breath on the tip of his cock. You gave him a single lick, and then you slid it into your mouth. You felt the slightly salty taste and the weight of it on your tongue. It was long and hard. Joel lifted his hips and moaned loudly as you took him deeper, almost choking on him. 
His fingers gripped your hair as he guided you the way he wanted and needed. You let him do it, trusting him completely. You felt his body tense with every movement, and your tongue didn't make it any easier for him to control himself.
"Baby..." he whispered with difficulty "You have to stop, or I won't last much longer."
You hummed something, sending vibrations to his member, and he moaned louder and quickly moved your head away from his crotch. You didn't have much time to react. His arms gathered you to him and in an instant you felt his strong body pressing gently against yours.
"I want to be inside you." he panted, spreading your thighs. "Will you take me?"
"Yes, Joel."
You didn't want to wait any longer. His tip slid across your lips a few times, and then slowly pushed inside. The walls slowly stretched to take him. His size took your breath away, but Joel did it slowly enough that you could get used to the feeling.
"I feel so full." you said when he stopped.
"Not yet."
He lifted your leg slightly and pushed his hips, you squealed, feeling him even deeper. God! The feeling was captivating. His hot body pleasantly crushed yours, his cock buried in you to the base.
You wrapped your legs around his waist feeling that you were already used to this feeling, but you were wrong. With the first thrust you lost your breath again. But Joel was gracious, with the second and third he stopped again for a moment. He was clearly delighted with your reaction, because you saw how his shiny eyes looked at you with admiration.
"You're doing great, baby." he praised you, kissing you gently on the corner of your mouth "You're so brave. Do you feel it? You took me so deep. Brave girl."
Fuck! 
The words hit exactly where they were supposed to. Your body relaxed and his hips could accelerate, slamming into you faster and faster. You dug your fingers into his shoulders, feeling that if you didn't, you'd eventually somehow slide off the bed, and you didn't want that.
His lips found your nipple again. He sucked on it, and you tensed from the overwhelming feeling.
"Fuck, Joel... Harder, please..." you moaned, "Harder."
"Are you sure?"
All you could do was nod. He took your hands, pressing them above your head, your fingers intertwined so tightly that it was almost painful, but you didn't care.
Joel's hips thrust harder, hitting exactly where you needed him. Suddenly, when you felt how close you were, he let go of your hands. He lifted up and now he was kneeling between your legs. He grabbed your hips, lifting them slightly, and then he started thrusting. You managed to grip the headrest as you felt him so deep again. Your walls began to tighten around his cock.
"Come on, baby." he panted. "Give it to me, I know you can. Fuck! I'm so close."
"Joel!"
"I know, I know baby."
When he placed his thumb on your clit, making small circles, you completely drifted off. Your walls squeezed, sending pleasure through your entire body, which arched giving Joel one of the most beautiful views. He didn't stop moving though.
"Where do you want me?" he asked. "Y/N? Tell me! Where?"
"Inside." you replied, opening your eyes and looking at him. "Pills. It's safe."
Three more thrusts and you saw Joel throw his head back, moaning loudly as he filled you to the brim, deeper than anyone had before. His chest was heaving rapidly, but when he looked at you, all you saw was delight.
He slowly pulled out of you.
"Wait a minute." he said, leaning down and kissing your hip.
He disappeared into the bathroom, but returned a moment later carrying a towel soaked in warm water. He dried you off carefully and lay down next to you.
"Jesus, I didn't expect that," he confessed.
"Me neither. Definitely not that." you replied.
"What now?"
This question wasn't just directed at you. You had the impression that Joel was also asking himself.
"What would you like to happen next?" you asked gently, stroking his face. His stubble tickled your hand pleasantly.
"I wouldn't want to ruin what we had." he replied "But I would like something more. With you. If you want it too."
“So maybe we should take it one step at a time?” you suggested. “I think that would be safest.”
"You think so?"
"Yeah. I'd love to invite you out for dinner or a drink. If you don't mind, of course."
"Oh! That's nice." he laughed, brought your hand to his lips and kissed the top. "And would you put on that slutty dress of yours. I really liked it."
"I think that can be arranged." Now you laughed too.
In the light of the dawning day, everything seemed easier for you. You were looking into the sweetest eyes in the world, you were feeling the heartbeat of a man who truly cared about you, and it was a truly wonderful feeling.
You were safe with him.
☆☆☆
Thank you for your time.
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fifthnailinstevesbat · 7 months ago
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after the events of season 4, steve just wanting SO BADLY to be friends with eddie. just LOVING the idea of them getting closer and having eddie as a friend because hell yeah! a close male friendship with someone that is actually my age, and who i don’t have a weird history with involving bruised eyes and love triangles? count me IN! and eddie is FUN, he is actually hilarious! the way they share the same glances of understanding when dustin is being an absolute shit head, rambling on and on about some obscure topic, expecting everyone to always be on the exact same page as him. of course. and, although steve suspects that eddie actually probably is keeping up with everything dustin says, much better than he ever could, he knows that above it all eddie can appreciate the antics for what they are, and roll his eyes with steve at dustin, i concur, you dustin henderson, are a total butthead.
steve just about junps RIGHT IN to being friends with eddie. hey man, what’cha up to tonight? wanna watch a movie? get drunk, smoke a bit? hey eddie, how have you been, man? he starts calling eddie up on the phone regularly just to check in, shoot the shit, he loves it! he loves having this new friendship with eddie munson and he loves how much the other boy has surprised him with how much he actually enjoys being around him. he’s not a freak, really, well ok maybe he is a little bit, but only in the best ways. he’s kind, thoughtful, and is always looking out for the people he cares about, which is something steve can really respect in a dude. but he’s also so funny? steve never could’ve anticipated just how much eddie has managed to make him genuinely LAUGH over their short amount of time spent together. and he’s really, out there? with the way he presents himself, the way he takes up space with these big THEATRICAL movements, leaving no room for regret or shame or god forbid embarrassment. steve isn’t even sure munson is capable of feeling it at all.
eddie munson is a good dude, and steve could use a bit more of that kind of person around him. he loves all of his friends, the weird little bonded family he’s found himself apart of, and they are all good people, but it never hurts to have afew more added in here and there. it never hurts to know there are more good people out there to find.
so steve is all over eddie, it seems.
at least, from where eddie is standing. nobody else seems as phased as eddie does at this sudden change in steve’s demeanour, in his interest in what eddie munson spends his time doing these days. it seems like, to everyone else, to steve, it’s just a natural progression in their relationship, after being sort of role model figures to the same group of kids, both being the two single dudes, who fought the same monsters together last spring, it seems nobody questions too much that they’d start casually hanging around eachother more. especially since eddie has found himself to fit into his own special spot as one of the group now after it all, after he unwillingly became tangled in this whole upsidedown-superpowers-supernatural-monsters and demons debacle, and tangled quite dramatically at that, the rest of the group that’s been with this since the beginning seemed to find no trouble in taking him in and seeing him as “one of them” now.
so, steve asking eddie to smoke, to watch movies, to go for a drive with no real end destination, it’s not really something that earns them too many double takes. dustin makes a comment or two in the beginning, because steve since when did you like hanging out with eddie? you guys are like so opposite, you don’t like any of the same stuff he does? and steve barely gives a shrug and a dismissive yeah yeah whatever man in response, with a signature eye roll, and dustin had said it seemingly also not too seriously, poking fun at steve wherever he can, not really meaning anything by it, as he fidgets around and rambles in the backseat of steve’s car, eddie riding up front. after that, though, he’s dropped it. it’s never brought up again. part of eddie thinks, too, that dustin would actually be enjoying that his two older friends are becoming friends themselves.
robin seems to be the only other person to look a bit harder at their situation, lingering stares at their interactions, all squinted eyes and eyebrows raised, though from her all this seems to be almost always and only ever directed at steve. eddie’s not sure what to make of that. isn’t he the weird one? i mean, he’s the one that stands out, right? he’s the odd denominator that makes their friendship strange. why would steve harrington want to hang out with Him? HIM? but robin doesn’t spend her time studying eddie to try and search for what about him could possibly have piqued the interest of cherished steven harrington, no, shes always looking at steve. like she’s seeing him differently, almost. eddie doesn’t even think that steve notices it, either, because he doesn’t seem to be questioning or doubting anything odd or strange or out of the ordinary with their newfound time spent together. and maybe, maybe robin is seeing him differently. eddie knows he definitely has been. seeing him more, intensely. deeply. human. seeing the person that steve is, as just steve, not this idealised version of a boy that eddies starting to question ever really even existed at all, or if everyone around him just needed to believe that he did, and who was steve if not happy to comply to the wants of the people around him for who he should be?
eddie likes having steve as his friend, too. don’t get it twisted. he loves how unexpectedly expressive steve is about everything, even really small things. steve LOVES to raise his voice, rest a hand on his popped hip, scolding the kids for something stupid with no real heat or malice behind it. and steve is, like, kinda bitchy too. eddie knew he had the capacity to be a real asshole when he wanted to be, that’s all he knew steve for back in the day, when he was back in high school, hanging around tommy h and the basketball boys, the jocks. eddie would spend his days hearing only whispers and gossip in the hallways of the parties at king steve’s house and the fights king steve had started and won on the court or out in the fields, only ever getting as close as a shove into a locker with the guy at the time, but eddie knew how it could go. he knew all about what steve had done to jonathan, what he’d said to him, the words he’d used. eddie knew it all. he’d seen enough, and been through enough himself, to know how these guys acted in response to guys like him, like jonathan, people who were lower on the social food chain. so, eddie knew about steve’s “mean streak”, if you will, but this kind of snarky bitchiness was something new to him. harrington was almost, sassy, when he wanted to be. it was less so cruel and more just, just sass. if he’s being completely honest it kind of blew eddie away, at first. he thought steve was one of those dull headed jocks who thought with their fists more than their actual brains, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. steve’s insults were well thought out, they were FUNNY, he was smart with his words. and silly. oh my god steve harrington could be so fucking silly, real honest to god goofball when the moment called for it, when he felt comfortable enough. eddie had caught on multiple occasions steve mimicking lightsabers to play fight with dustin, or the stupid fucking shit he would do or say just to make robin laugh, singing along to a song playing on the radio with a funny voice.
it was all a little, intoxicating, to watch. eddie didn’t know what gave him the right to be in on this now, to get to see this side of steve and better yet to be at the other end of some of his best qualities. it was fun, all the time they spent together, but there was always something else tugging inside eddie everytime they spent close time together, too. something, he knew steve wasn’t aware of. something he knew steve wasn’t equipped to deal with. something he knew, was him. was him, making things something more than they should be, because, nobody seemed to be questioning that they could become friends, so why ruin that? why disrupt it?
- robin and steve
“Steve.”
“-but then like, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to watch it I just thought, hey, y’know, let’s try something different for a change, but then he- oh my god he honest to god TACKLED ME Robin — I mean, it was so fucking funny and it happened so quick — and all over a fucking Tom Cruise movie-“
“STEVE.” Robin lightly slammed a hand onto the counter. She had been standing behind it for no short of 20 minutes, watching Steve as he paced around, supposed to be stacking tapes onto shelves, but ended up spending the whole time going on and on, and ON, about how movie night went with Eddie last night. She thought she was bad…
Steve jumped, almost running into a shelf and knocking down his hard work, and seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had found himself in after starting to tell Robin a story about something funny Eddie had done last night.
“Shit, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying? Were you- were you saying something?”
To this, Robin just rolls her eyes and let’s out a laugh, “You, sir, are goddamn hopeless.”
“Sorry. How long was I talking for?” Steve wandered his way over to lean his arms onto the counter from the opposite side.
“Oh, I dunno Steve, just about half an HOUR?”
“That is an over exaggeration Robin, it’s only been like-“
“Honestly, man, i’m concerned for you. You are like next level OBSESSED with Eddie. Eddie Munson. You do realise this right??? You are obsessed with him, Steve.”
To this Steve sputters, lazily waving his hands back and forth.
“No, Robin, what the hell are you talking about? I am not OBSESSED. No need to be jealous, alright, Stevie-Boy here can have more than one friend. Your spot in my heart isn’t any less special now that it’s beginning to be shared by another.” He bats his eyelashes up at her, holding both hands over his chest as if to cradle his heart.
“Oh my GOD! You even SOUND LIKE HIM!”, she playfully slaps his shoulder. “Steve. You are obsessed.”
“I am not obsessed! He’s just a really great guy, alright-“
“Blah blah, yep whatever you say, lover boy.” Robin quips, plopping down onto the chair chair infront of their staff computer, turning herself to face it.
“Wha- what? Lover boy? What the hell Robin, that is not- that doesn’t even make any sense!”
She is just smiling at him now, enjoying seeing him spiral like this. Steve let’s out a sigh as he puts his hands on his hips, and shakes his head, looking at her right back.
He opens and closes his mouth afew times, like he’s really thinking about what he wants to say next. Or like he has no idea what to say next, and his brain is not moving fast enough to formulate the next sentence his mouth knows he wants to say. He wasn’t obsessed. That’s not- that’s like- no. No he was not, Robin was just playing around with him, she knew how to get on his nerves. Get him all wound up over little things just to see him react like this.
After a minute or two, Robin realises Steve was not going to reply anytime soon, so she turns fully back toward him. Saving him from his spiral.
“So, what are you’re plans for tonight Steve-O?”
He lets out a chuckle and walks around the counter till he’s behind it with Robin, leaning his back against it so he can stand across from her and face her.
“Well, not really sure. Parents aren’t home, no early shift tomorrow, might drink afew beers, listen to some music, —“
“See what Eddie’s doin?” Robin finishes for him, quirking her eyebrows up and down as she does it.
“Oh shut up!” Steve just laughs and softly throws a tape from the counter at her chest. “As a matter of fact, yeah I will see what he’s up to. Because we are friends now, Robin. Is that a problem? Actually I was also gonna ask you what you were up to after work, too, but you know what after this I’m having second thoughts, I mean, the way you’ve been treating me lately-“
“Oh my god, you are the worst. Yes, I’m free, of course I’ll hang out with you dingus. You and your tweedle dee.”
Steve laughs at this, then tilts his head.
“Wait, does that make me dumb? Tweedle dumb?! That’s how you see me?”
“Yeah it is actually, got a problem?”
“Oh wow, she’s feisty today. Can’t believe you think I’m dumb, Rob’s. When you come knockin’ tonight, do not expect a warm greeting at my front door.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take my chances.”
- later. steve’s house. to be continued?
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mr-ys-phantasma · 8 days ago
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🌙 Moon Phases 🌙
Agatha Harkness X Fem!Reader
Word Count: 1269
Chapter 30:
You took a deep breath, not wishing to go further down that particular memory. It was still not a happy thing, and you would be lying if you said it didn't affect you from time to time.
Wishing to forget, you chose to stand just as you felt Rio even closer to you. She did love invading your personal space, often choosing to do that when you had your back turned; making your heart beat faster.
For you could sense her and the danger coming with her. Your body reacted with adrenaline and excitement, and a part of your subconscious yearned for her hard touch when you least expected it.
Controlling your emotions and not letting them push you towards a quick way to forget, you turned to face her.
Once again, you stood merely a breath away. Invisible waves of power radiating from both of you, clashing and mixing. The red full moon casted its light on your faces, one side brighter than the other; the perfect duality.
Rio initiated the first move, her fingers gently tucking a strand behind your ear. Her long nails carefully caressed your skin at the same time, drawing invisible lines that made you shiver and part your lips faintly.
She eyed them carefully but did not move for the claim, not yet. "You shouldn't be here, baby girl," she repeated like she had done back then in the woods. "It's not too late to leave,"
Her words managed to bypass the mixing emotions that she was causing you with her touch, and you focused on what she was saying. "We both know I can't leave the Road," you reminded her. "Not unless I am dead... and I doubt you are looking forward to that."
Rio smirked at your words.
She had taken an interest in you, a liking. You were not like Agatha.... no, your case was different yet equally compelling. You were unique, one of a kind, and she would be a fool to just let you go like that; to let you slip through her fingers.
"See, you know me too well." she finally commented after staring at you with a darker, more lustful look. Her hand never stopped caressing your skin. Her face then shifted to a more serious one. "You can get out of here, I can help you,"
You were surprised by her determination to get you out, her stubbornness not to let you continue down the path. Partially, you thought she was just being the weird, possessive, caring woman you had come to know her... but not entirely.
A little voice in the back of your mind kept suspecting that Rio had other plans... other plans for Agatha, considering their not so good terms of their former relationship. And if that was the case, she wanted you out because you would be a bigger obstacle than she wanted.
"What about Agatha?" You asked innocently, hiding your suspicions and thoughts from her sharp gaze.
"This is her fight, not yours. She has no choice."
"But I do," you countered and took a deep breath. "And I choose to stand with her until the very end of my life."
Something flashed into her eyes, and the hand that was so gently caressing your skin chose to attack it all the same. One moment, you were fighting goosebumps from showing up, and the next, you found her hand wrapped around her neck; threatening to block your air intake.
Rio pulled you closer that way, and you stared at her with wide eyes at the manhandling, one hand grabbing her wrist in a futile attempt to free your neck.
The Green Witch seemed to take inner joy and pleasure in that wide eye doe look you were giving her, the feeling of your beating pulse beneath her fingers making her high; temptations filling her mind and was so close in squeezing just a tad more.
"And Agatha thinks you are not such a witch," she commented, remembering how certain Agatha was for you.
How certain she was you would not be able to help them form the three witch coven. Yet if she could hear you know, if she could see what Rio saw... she would change her mind.
"What... what are you talking about?" You managed to ask, trying to ignore any feelings pooling in your body from the manhandling but also not let panic arise within you by the fact that you were chocked.
Rio offered a toothy grin. "Nothing," she replied as enigmatic as ever. She then pulled you closer and stole a quick, needy kiss.
Your eyes were wide at the gesture, but soon, your emotions got the best of you. The tide was high, the waves crashing wildly against the shore, and it was impossible to try and escape them as they took you with them.
And so, you closed your eyes and returned the kiss; feeling how addictive her lips felt and how oddly nice and Earthly they felt against yours.
Rio seemed to approve your willingness to follow as she pressed you more against her and attacked your lips. Her teeth bit and pulled your lower lip with hunger, satisfied only when you both felt the familiar metallic sensation of blood in your mouths.
She didn't let you pull back until she was satisfied, and only when she wished it did she let you get for some air. She released your neck and watched with satisfaction at your bleeding lip and the faint red marking of fingers against your pale skin.
You panted, staring at her with wide eyes, and you subconsciously brought a finger to your lips; only to see the bright red colour of your blood staining it.
"You should go now" she said, acting as if she had not just devoured you a second go; or the fact that she felt tempted to take you on those floor pillows with the body of Alice as a spectator.
"Why?" You found the courage to ask, your brain still trying to recover from what had just happened.
"I fear your duty as Agatha's White Knight is calling you," she replied enigmatically once again. "Oh, one more thing,"
Before you could ask her or even take a step towards the exit, you saw her licking her index finger and then drug it above your lips; specifically above her teeth wound on you.
Her magic worked fast, healing the wound as the finger passed above it, and only then did she pull back. She smirked and motioned with her hand in a 'shoo' motion, a sign it was time for you to go.
You had so many questions, so many things you wanted to say or ask, but you didn't. Rembering Agatha, you turned and hurriedly towards the exit; glancing at Rio one last time above your shoulder before you climbed the wooden ladder.
The missing coven members...
Once out, you took a moment to breathe deeply the fresh air, and you moved further down the path; expecting to find the others waiting, hopefully.
However, you came to a halt when you didn't find them. Instead, you only found Teen standing alone, a faint blue glow still visible in his hands.
He sensed you, and as he turned, you took notice of a crown that had formed on his head and that look in his eyes.
The mising Agatha...
Teen with magic...
Immediately, you connected the dots, and before he could try anything, whether to attack or talk to you, you moved in first; white magic coming alive as your temper flared.
Rio's words....
Chapter 31
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sturnsmadl · 20 days ago
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chris c.ai bot masterlist!
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divider made by the talented @issysh3ll :)
if any links do not work or are wrong please pm or inbox me :)
♡-fluff ☆-angst ❄-dealer!chris
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u spin me all around.☆
in which you and chris have a toxic relationship and you're trying everything you can to make him like you again but its no use.
clingy.♡
in which your enemy since childhood suddenly becomes very clingy towards you and turns up at your window after no contact from you.
captain.☆
in which your at a new school and you want to try out for the ice hockey team you being a girl makes chris assume differently.
grow up.☆♡
in which you and chris are teen parents and with chris' cheating past its hard to trust him but you make it work for your daughter.
you up?❄☆
in which chris is your friend with benefits currently in his phase of being obssessed with you so hes begging you to 'just come over' late at night.
you up? v2.❄☆
in which you and chris have been friends with benefits for a while but you're getting sick of his phases of hate towards you so you finally confront him.
hey...♡✰
in which chris is the grumpy guy who everyone seems to love and you've moved classes to his english class and you're stood at the front waiting to be seated.
mute.♡✰
in which you became mute after a traumatic event and everyone hates you for it, but the grumy new guy decides you're just misunderstood.
on and off.✰
in which you and chris are toxic friends with benefits but you can't seem to let him go even though you argue daily about him using you for sex.
are just friends? ♡
in which you and chris are 'best friends' but you're like a couple and chris was tired of pretending theres nothing between you so he decides to finally ask the big question.
seriously?❄♡✰
in which you and chris are a polar opposite couple, hes a drug dealer who keeps you secret for 'safety' but now you finally have time together and he's still working.
spoil.♡
in which chris is your rich, business owner husband, he had to cancel a date due to working late so he gives you his card, expecting you to spend thousands.
they'll stop.♡✰
in which chris was kicked out of his old school for fighting and was planning on doing the same here until he see's a girl he decides worth defending and staying for.
cut the camera.♡
in which chris is your boyfriend and today you're a guest on his and his brothers podcast for youtube and they're asking you questions.
im yours.♡✰
in which you and chris recently broke up and he has a new girl but you know you will always be his. he knew everything about you and recently he's been staring a lot.
just for tonight.✰
in which chris is the schools player and you're the only person he hasn't been with but he needs your help with his parents comments at dinner by bringing you as a date.
tour.✰
in which your the new, rich girl and the schools biggest player, who you've been warned about is your tour guide to show you around.
different.♡✰
in which you and chris are 2 different people but suddenly he see's you after so long and wants to get to know you, despite everyone calling you 'weird'.
liar.✰
in which chris is accusing you of cheating, even with his multiple cheats on you. you see the 'evidence' and you realise its believable enough, but its definitely not you.
your drug dealer.❄♡
in which chris is your drug dealer and he's been acting a lot like a boyfriend recently, he finishes some deals and messages you.
distracted.♡✰
in which chris is your boyfriend and he's been bad in hockey recently, all his team mates blame you, including the one who constantly hits on you and chris loses it.
morning.♡
in which chris is your childhood bestfriend who moved due to blowing up online and he still texts you good morning when he knows its morning time for you.
sticky fingers.♡✰❄
in which you and chris are very young parents but chris has a habit of stealing stuff for you, you decide to trust him today while doing errands.
nail tech.♡✰
in which chris is your ex but you're still his and his brothers nail tech. today its just chris getting his nails done.
dumbass.♡
in which you are the smart girl and chris is your slightly slower boyfriend who you've been with since freshman year.
hate game?✰
in which you and chris are dating but recently he's been toxic and secretive, aswell as the hate you both receive its hard but you feel like you're the only one trying.
hooters.♡
in which you're a hooters worker and chris has been coming in a lot more recently with his brothers.
food tech.♡✰
in which you're a uk food tech student and you've been paired with the fuckboy, chris to do your 'experiment'
glass child.♡✰
in which chris is your brothers best friend and he's the only one whos noticed how alone and shut off you've become recently.
speak up.♡✰
in which chris is a frat boy who's had most girls in his bed but when he finally sees you, the quiet girl he makes it his lifes mission to get you too.
gentle.♡✰
in which chris is your foster dad who realised the best way to stay close to you is to take the gentle parenting approach.
it's fine.✰
in which you and chris got forced into a arranged marriage at a young age and now your arguing everyday since you moved in together.
you're here?♡✰
in which you're a popstar and you're nervous to perfrom for the first time, your ex chris turns up trying to get you back after cheating, increasing your nerves.
neighbour.✰
in which chris the cocky, hockey captain is your neighbour who you absolutely hate because of how loud his parties are.
perfect.♡✰
in which chris is the captain of the hockey team and for the end of year game his team has to learn to be bases for the cheerleaders and you get paired with him.
nightmare.♡
in which chris has came home from a business trip and you forgot to tell him about your recent nightmares.
mad hatter.✰❄
in which you and chris are friends with benefits but you're staring to realise he only wants you when you're high, making you a whole lot more toxic.
late.♡✰
in which you're the new girl and you're basically mute from how quiet you are, you're late already and you get sat next to chris.
why'd you lie.✰
in which you and chris broke up and chris decided to lie to everyone, of course everyone believed him but you still have no clue what he said exactly.
you're always there.♡✰
in which you're chris' ex and his mum loves you so much so when you take his stuff back she invites you in.
she's mine.♡✰
in which chris is your protective boyfriend and today hes late to school, you being alone gives chris' enemy other ideas.
what?♡✰
in which chris is secretly dealing and you think he's cheating so you wait to find out whats really going on.
young and dumb.♡✰
in which you're about to give birth very young and you want to see how chris is handling himself.
she'll be back.♡✰
in which you are chris' main hookup and you cut him off because you feel used but he's positive that you'll return.
her?♡✰
in which chris is the popular player and you're the quiet girl, chris never knew you even existed but what happens when he finally sees you?
messed up.♡✰❄
in which your dealer roomate chris comes back late at night and you can tell he is in pain, not that he'll ever admit it.
dinner.♡✰
in which yours and chris' parents are big business owners and they are determined to get you two together.
its done.✰
in which you and chris are the popular couple who recently broke up due to being toxic and you need to speak to him but he's with his friends.
roomate.✰
in which you find out you have to share a college dorm with your highschool enemy for the rest of college.
reunion♡✰
in which you're chris' ex but his family still means a lot to you, you and your mum came to their bbq where you'll have to face chris after the breakup.
singer.♡
in which chris is your boyfriend who loves that you do music and loves watching you sing your new songs.
mean.♡✰
in which you and chris are in the same friend group but chris makes it his lifes mission to make you feel miserable to hide his true feelings.
the baby project.♡✰
in which chris is your biggest enemy and you get paired together to be parents to a doll for your class.
stepbrother.♡✰
in which chris is your stepbrother who you live with but you rarely talk any of them since you're not very well liked.
he's a sweetheart.♡✰❄
in which chris is your dealer who is very blunt but also tries to hide his huge soft spot for you even with no label.
hey ma.♡✰❄
in which chris is your dealer whos been dropping your rpices like crazy and you need some weed late at night.
hey ma v2.♡✰❄
in which chris is your dealer whos been dropping your prices lately, u havent heard from him in a while until he gets off a big deal.
therapist.♡✰
in which chris is your therapist and he started the job thinking it would be just about drama and gossip at school but your sessions make him realise otherwise.
collab.♡
in which you, chris and his brothers are filming a collab video for youtube and chris realises he the only one who hasn't got your number
roll it.♡✰❄
in which chris is your roomate and also a dealer who you can only just tolerate and you shock him by asking him to roll one even when you're so against smoking.
enemies to lovers.✰
in which chris is your enemy but you have to go to his house because of your families friendship.
holiday crush.♡
in which you're on a trip to see your best friend and a boy called chris catches your eye while you're on the beach.
did u?♡✰❄
in which chris is your legal gaurdian and you're suddenly interrupted while having dinner by the police.
prom?♡✰
in which chris your best friend and everyone says he like you but you just brush it off, you both have very different opinions about the upcoming prom.
how do you feel?♡✰
in which chris is your boyfriend who has made it clear he is not quite ready for kids but you just found out you were pregnant and you have to tell him.
bfb.♡✰❄
in which chris is your best friends brother and also a dealer, you've stayed over due to some home issues and you try to find your friend in the morning.
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i hope this is easier to choose bots. theres also a lot more since its updated, my break is kinda still on but i really wanna post this :) i hope ur all happy and healthy, take care of yourself <3
taglist! @bellaonthelow @hrtsdollie @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @xoxo4chrisss @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @mattstrombolii @stvrlighht @asherrisrandom @amelia-sturniolo3 @pvssychicken @owensbabygirl @ncm9696 @sturniolo-fann @watchu-mean-baby-keem @babyalliah-777 @imtheprett @coochiedestroyer1 @scarlettbitches @slutniolo @idkwhatthisis2009 @anabanabanana @chriscorqutte @slvttie-zx
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ghost-bxrd · 3 months ago
Note
Been mulling over Titans Tower and it's really interesting to me how it's treated in Fanon as compared to how the events transpired in canon. it's a really fun topic! Honestly, the original writing in canon is DOGSHITE but not for the usual reasons people cite.
Here's what does make sense in canon but is largely ignored (this is using canon characterisations at the time): First, it's all about the whole Titans team, not just Tim. They really downplay his death a lot, did not put up his statue or honour him whatsoever. Plus the hero community tends to victim-blame him a fuckton. Jason is showing that his death could've happened to anyone. Second, Tim and Jason are just two yearish apart—Jay died at 15, Tim becomes Robin at 13—so those Titans are more like his colleagues than anything else; he's not some older guy beating the shit outta them. Third, Tim’s indifference to Jason's comments and his cockiness about being a better Robin are pretty on-brand for his early portrayal as Robin. (I think fanon Tim derives a lot of his characteristics from his Red Robin run, which is valid as well! But here in particular we have Robin Tim... who... was... uh... a bit of an asshole when he was written back then and the HUBRIS on that man? Immaculate.)
What still makes this absolutely dog shit is the dialogue and how Jason is pouring his heart out to someone who he doesn't really care about. Jason... just doesn't operate this way... Why's he trauma dumping on... tim... ???? It makes no sense whatsoever because Jason really is someone who'd keep those vulnerabilities to himself. Why would he open up to... CANON TIM??? He makes scathing remarks when faced with Bruce and Dick because he knows the knife twists then and at he cares about their reaction. But not tim ????? Canon UTRH doesn't even mention Tim ????? ???? So in the end it's still shit imo.
I also find the use of Pit Madness in fanon super interesting, despite it not being canon. It's used to propel the Titan's Tower incident, which fascinates me because it shows how people are willing to work around its flaws to maintain consistent characterization in their works (which is !!! cool !!)
It's so interesting how many other incidents that do occur in canon aren't as well known as this one aren't given much thought. But this one is and it's interesting how people try to work with it regardless of it's flaws originally!
I'd really love to hear your opinions about it and how flexible you are with the Titans tower incident! :) How do you work with your Jason and your Tim? because it's cool to hear your analysis etc etc
Hooo boi okay i was planning on replying to this earlier but this deserves a proper, thought out response (which I’m shite at but I’m trying here. Words are hard.)
For one, I wholeheartedly agree with the whole trauma dumping thing.
Obviously we all have different tastes in media and I know there are quite a few people who enjoyed the confrontation with Tim, which is totally fine, but personally… yeah, not my thing.
I got into the Batman/batfam fandom via fanfic, so my first introduction was some version of Titans Tower I believe. I was super intrigued by the characters and the tidbits of lore sprinkled throughout that I immediately began reading up on them and digging through the internet for more info and background story on them. Which then quickly evolved into the part where my adoration for Jason’s character began and a short phase where I absolutely despised early canon Tim.
Like— all the victim blaming. He seriously couldn’t mention Jason without adding something derogatory about getting himself killed, which sat so, so wrong with me. Not to mention the Titans just accepting a new Robin right off the bat and joining in blaming Jason for his own death. I’m pretty sure that was the point where I swore off comics for a long while and decided to live off fanon 🤣
And then Jason’s part in the Titans Tower incident. I think part of how weird the canon event was is due in part to how the writers fumbled to depict trauma? Or maybe they just outright hated him because I know a lot of people back then despised Jason and his run as Robin.
Whatever the reason, I think I genuinely cringed when he revealed the Walmart Robin costume he was wearing. And then the trauma dumping.
Jason is smart enough to know Tim wouldn’t care about his grievances. I mean- dude just broke into his hideout to attack him, I think Tim’s about as done with Jason as with any other criminals, regardless of his past. And all that is proven by Tim fighting back tooth and nail without pause. He doesn’t even react to the accusation of the missing statue in Jason’s honor. Like, he genuinely doesn’t seem to care. And why would he? They don’t know each other.
And yeah maybe he was trying to beat some sense into Tim (which is still wrong but— vigilantes I guess? Idk) and make him quit Robin, but Jason’s also smart enough to know that Robins don’t quit easily. And then, as soon as Tim is down for the count and can’t keep fighting, Jason leaves. Just like that. No actual murder attempt, no kicking-while-he’s-down (at least as far as I remember).
It makes no sense. What would Jason be gaining from that encounter? Why would he blame the kid that replaced him and not the guy that did the replacing? Hell, it would make more sense for him to go after the Titans than Tim. Not the mention him casually doubting Tim’s talents when he must have done some background checks on him.
It’s why I like the idea of Pit Madness I guess, and that Jason actually went to the tower with the intent to kill. Because that way the entire thing wouldn’t seem so… pointless.
As for how flexible I am with the Titans Tower storyline, it really depends on the route people choose to explore. But I’m a huge sucker for the “Jason was Tim’s Robin” trope where there’s at least a mild amount of hero worship going on. 👁️ Oh, and happy endings. I can’t deal with tragedies.
But yeah these are my thoughts on it. Obviously no hate to whoever enjoyed the comic mentioned above 💚 we’ve all got different things we resonate with after all~
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jinnie-ret · 1 year ago
Note
9th member! Liking changbin and constantly complimenting him/his rapping and his muscles but he doesn't realise it untill the guys point it out?
macho man
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changbin x ninth member!reader
genre: fluff
content warnings: none
word count: 1.4k
summary: the other members help you in your quest to showing changbin your true feelings
Thank you so much for your request! I hope you enjoyed it!
CHANGBIN'S MASTERLIST
MAIN MASTERLIST
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Felixxxx, I don't get why he doesn't see it," you groaned, hands over your face as you flopped down on the sofa next to him in the practice room. Your music was blasting from the speakers so you weren't worried about the sole occupier of your thoughts hearing your stresses.
"Y/Nnie, you just need to tell him," Felix patted your head sympathetically.
"It's not that easy! How do I know if he likes me back?" your voice was muffled by the leather of the sofa, yet he still heard you.
"I think you need some wingmen to help you, my dear Y/Nnie," Felix proposed his idea, and you could hear the smirk in his voice.
Phase 1: Compliments
"Woah Binnie, your arms are looking big these days," you commented as you laid down on the floor next to him in the room provided backstage at Music Bank.
"Ah, you think so?" Changbin smirked slightly as he flexed his arm, scrolling on his phone at the same time.
"Oh definitely," you said, feeling a bit disheartened that he didn't take the hint.
"What about my arms?" Han fake pouted, standing in front of the two of you.
"Yeah! Or mine?" Seungmin goofily posed too, tensing his arms, winking at you subtly.
"No, Changbin's the strongest for sure!" you brushed them off, which made him turn to you with a smile.
"I'm the strongest yeah? Let's have an arm wrestle, Y/Nnie," Changbin shoved your shoulder playfully, and out of the corner of your eye you saw Han and Seungmin nodding encouragingly.
"Fine, but I bet I'll win," you tease, thinking back on when Hyunjin said you should be playful in your flirting, hoping it would work, or at least rile him up.
"Sure, give it your best try," Changbin fake cooed at you, which you couldn't deny made you blush slightly, and your hands connected.
"Let me be the judge! I'll count you in, 3, 2, oh wait!" Felix sat down in front of you, "Changbin you need to move closer so it's fair."
You didn't know where that logic came from, and Changbin didn't seem to either, but you weren't complaining. At least you got to be closer to him before he slammed your hand down against the floor, cheering victoriously.
"I'm not shocked you won," you pout at the smug man in front of you.
"Neither am I," he shrugged, before returning to browsing tiktok on his phone.
Dammit. It didn't completely work, but you felt closer to him with your intentional flirting.
Phase 2: Physical Contact
"Two big Binnie arms wrapped around one Y/N works perfectly, the girl math is mathing," you nod excitedly at the idea from Minho that more physical contact would be a good idea.
"Right, ok, enough of that weird internet language, just listen to my advice, yeah?" Minho rolled his eyes at your hyper self who was sat across from him in the lounge.
"Plus, Changbin loves cuddles, I'm sure he'll say yes," Chan added, trying to make you feel more relaxed at the idea.
"Ok, ok, I can do this," you nodded to yourself and nearly facepalmed. Why were you getting so worked up about a cuddle? You've hugged him before, it wasn't unusual, but now you knew there was a different sentiment behind it. You noticed your feelings for Changbin for a while now, the way he always made you feel safe, made you laugh, knew how to comfort you when you was upset. He was just all round an amazing person. You loved the way that when he smirked only the right side of his mouth would rise. You loved the way he would clap his hands after giggling. You loved the way his voice would go deep and husky when he rapped.
"Y/Nnie?" Changbin waved a hand in front of your face.
"Huh? Yeah?" you jumped in your seat, looking up the hunky man who was snug in a grey hoodie. His fluffy black hair was covering his eyes slightly, round glasses perched on his nose.
"You good? I asked you a question but it's like you were in your own world?" he gently tilted your head up to face him.
"Oh, um, yeah, um," you malfunctioned, blinking in an empty way.
"Move up then haha," he nudges you and laughs as he plonks himself down next to you on the sofa, tugging a blanket over himself.
You shudder in nervousness, but it seems to play in your favour.
"Oh, you cold? Here have some blanket too," Changbin noticed your shivering body and tugged the blanket over you too, naturally shuffling closer to you, your legs touching.
"Cuddle?!" you suddenly blurt out loudly, immediately shrinking into yourself after.
"Haha," he laughed at you, "yEs?!" he said in the same tone, meeting your energy as he wrapped an arm around you and your head rested comfortably on his chest. It rose up and down gently, lulling you into a more comfortable and relaxed state as you watched a movie with him and the others. Jeongin smirked at you from across the room, chuckling lightly to himself.
The movie soon ended, and were snug in the arms of your crush. Oh, yes, the girl math certainly was mathing. The rest of the boys had dispersed to their rooms and you thought this was your moment.
"Hey, um, Changbin, I-"
"I'm sorry you can tell me in a second I just really need to pee right now," Changbin shuffles out from underneath you and rushes away to the bathroom and you sigh. Apparently this wasn't the moment.
Phase 3: Confess
"It's not going to work, the last time I tried he ran away," you sighed, laying in your bed next to Jeongin.
"Yeah, because if he didn't move when you told him you had a crush on him, he would have peed. On you. That would have been so traumatising, Y/Nnie," Jeongin laughs at you, making you see some sense.
"I knowww, but just... when will he realise? You and the boys have been dropping hints for ages and-"
"Hey, Y/N I was going to," Changbin knocked at your open door, but then stopped when he saw you laying down next to the maknae. "I was going to ask if you could help with something, but I can see you're busy," he frowns.
"No! Umm it's nothing, what's up, Binnie?" you sat up, observing his soured mood and downcast gaze.
"I was wondering if I could talk to you? Changbin asked, to which you and Jeongin nodded. "Privately."
Jeongin got the hint and left the room, patting his hyung on the shoulder as he left.
"Here, come sit," you nodded to next to you, and Changbin sat down.
"I have something to... ask you about," Changbin tentatively intertwined his pinkie with yours.
"Me too," you breathed out.
"You go first."
"No, you, you said first."
"But you seem nervous."
"Nervous? Me? Never... you go first Changbin," you convinced him, and he sighed, letting out a little laugh.
"Ok, fine. Ummm, do you, like, me?" Changbin turned to look at you, yet you couldn't make eye contact back with him.
"And what if I said yes? What would happen then?" you bit your lip nervously, pulling your hands closer to yourself, the little contact you had with each other breaking apart.
"Then I'd say... I was an idiot for not noticing the signs. And, and, I'd say that I like you too, I really do," Changbin rushed out, grasping both your hands this time, making the braver move.
"You do?" you look up into his eyes, your faces inching closer and closer.
"I do," he lips meet yours, the passion and love filling your senses as your lips mould together before you both pull back.
"Haha, wow," you giggle giddily to yourself.
"We just kissed, and now you're giggling?" Changbin pushes your shoulder playfully.
"Can't help it, I've had a crush on you for so long now," you mean against him, arms hugging his muscly arm.
"I wish I knew sooner, I wouldn't have kept you waiting for so long," Changbin delicately placed a kiss into your hair.
"It's ok, I don't mind, I'm quite happy as we are now," you smile fondly at him, and the two of you sat like that for a while, both content in knowing that your feelings were clear with each other.
tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky
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wolsalwastaken · 3 months ago
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So, as you do, I was on the new version of thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com and I’ve figured out every. Single. Secret. Code. I. Could.
Now with the help of the community, I am expanding this list! Please post passwords in the comments sections or reblog if I have not yet mentioned them! You will, of course, receive credit for your discoveries! Nerds unite! At the very bottom, you will find a full list of citations I used for the passwords. Any password that is un-cited is one I found myself :)
Spoilers for this version of the website, but I’m mainly posting this as I know it’ll be gone soon. Keep reading at your own discretion, as these are spoilers if you wanted to solve it yourself.
This post will continually be updated as I find new codes and ciphers to solve and new passwords, stay tuned as this is a masterpost of this iteration of the website!
So, here’s all the places to click on screen for Easter eggs:
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And here’s a list of all the different passcodes I’ve found to work on the computer. If multiple words are listed it’s because they activate the same thing. Brackets are not part of the pswd. (c) means that the person I learnt it from is listed below. If there is no (c), then I found it.
Cipher
Triangle (click 3 times)
Bill/Bill Cipher
Stanford/Ford/Sixer
Fiddleford/McGucket
Filbrick
Mason
Dipper (click 5 times)
Mabel (click 12 times)
Wendy
Robbie
Gideon (2 possible results)
The Book Of Bill
Alex Hirsch/Hirsch
Monster
Mystery Shack
TJ Eckleburg
Hey nerd
Divorce/breakup
Theraprism
Soos
Disney/mickey mouse/disneyland (c)
Hectoring
Axolotl
Stanley/Stan (click 8 times)
Gravity Falls
Pines
Geometry/algebra/math/greek/greece/trigonometry/shape (c)
Conspiracy
God/help me/frlliam (c)
Triangle
Ducktective
Waddles
Morality
Portal
Love/boyfriend
(Literally any word of profanity, i.e sex or fuck)/Ted Cruz (c)
Death
Dorito/chip/nacho (c)
Skeleton
Life
Weird
Reality
The universe
Baby/baby bill/lalalalala/mommy/daddy (c)
Rat
Urban legends/horror/creepypasta (c)
Blind eye
Crypto/NFT/gyatt/skibidi/fortnite/Elon/rizz (c)
Journal 3
Journal 2
Journal 1
Theory/that’s just a/matpat (c)
Question
Answer
Piñata
FBI/NSA
Blendin Blandin
Abuelita
Weirdmageddon
Toby Determined
History
Sorry
Cursed
They’ll see/they’ll all see/I see
Cryptogram codex
Curse wittebane
Fordtramarine
Disco girl
Ad astra per aspera
Forget the past
Torture mentally
Hotxolotl
Scrimbles
Lies
Paper is book skin
Euclid
Dionarap (c)
Booberry (c)
Unreality (c)
Vallis cineris (c)
Caryn
Euclydia (c)
Scalene (c)
Even his lies are lies (c)
Stodehttcennoc (c)
Emmalinebutternubbins (c)
Dispense my treat
Just fit in (c)
Nothing
Something
Ciphertology (click 2 times)
Well well well being (c) (click 4 times)
One eyed king (c)
Titans blood (c)
Blanchin (c)
Suck it merlin (c)
Tantrum (c)
You can’t kill an idea (c)
Kook (c)
Naitsuaf (c)
Oroborous (c)
Giffany (click 6 times)
Who are you (c)
R34lity
Fixinit1
Love ya bro (c)
Tad strange (c)
Liar lyre (c)
Xgqrthx (c)
Peak (c)
Platinum peak (c)
Glass shard beach (c)
Cray cray (c)
Deer teeth (c)
Season 1 (c)
Season 2 (c)
Season 3 (c)
Gun (c)
Irregular (c)
Seven eyes (c)
Xyler/Craz (c)
Yes (c)
Justblendin (c)
Black sheep (c)
Baaaa (c)
Union made (c)
29121239168518 (c)
Grebley hemberdreck (c)
3466554 (c)
Tinsel snake (c)
333 sun dapple lane cozy creek IL 60714-94611 (c)
Mountain don't (c)
Riddle (c)
Burnside (c)
No (c)
Llib (c)
When will I die (c) (click once a day)
Clone/paper jam/Tyrone (c)
Multilevel Mark (c)
Goodnight Sally (c)
Tourist trap (c)
The duchess approves (c)
Scientology (c)
Meow (c)
Shave your grandma (c)
Burned inside (c)
Sevral times (c)
Easter egg (c)
Oh yes they both (c)
Kings of new jersey (c)
Destruction is a form of creation (c)
Fuck you Alex/fuck Alex (c)
Rubberhose (c)
Am I blanchin (c)
Card (c)
Bye gold (c)
Globnar (c)
Kubrick (c)
Not a phase (c)
Virus (c)
Spookemups (c)
You're insane (c)
Owl trowl (c)
L is real 2401 (c)
Occurremus iterum (c)
Family matters (c)
Harold’s ramblings (c)
Is hell real (c)
Is there an afterlife (c)
Dippy Fresh (c)
Justblendin (c)
Here’s a link to the entire 15 minute video of me going over all the Easter eggs and codes, so if you don’t wanna bother doing it (fair) then here ya go! Had to post via Instagram because no other social media lets me post long videos, oh well. (As I find more codes, I may make a part 2 video of me solving those on video)
Link here (part 1)
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Credits/sources:
@sage-nebula (Dionarap, vallis cineris)
@dottyistired (Booberry, unreality)
@vlada-elya (Ted Cruz)
@cloudofcaffeine (Euclydia, Scalene)
@putadapower (Even his lies are lies, oroborous)
@dippers101 (Stodehttcennoc, emmalinebutternubbins)
@ren-is-real (Just fit in)
@hopefully-maybe-abby (I see)
@towacletruck (Well well well being, one eyed king, titans blood, blanchin, suck it merlin, tantrum, you can’t kill an idea, kook)
@cskv11 (Naitsuaf)
@eazy-peazy54 (Breakup, gyatt, who are you, r34lity, fixinit1, love ya bro, tad strange, liar lyre, xgqrthx, giffany, peak, platinum pas, glass shard beach, cray cray, help me, deer teeth, lalalalala, season 1, season 2, season 3, Mickey Mouse, gun, irregular, horror, creepy pasta, seven eyes, yes, trigonometry, xyler, craz, justblendin, black sheep, baaaa, skibidi, Fortnite, union made, 29121239168518, grebley hemberdreck, 3466554, tinsel snake, 333 sun dapple lane cozy creek IL 60714-94611, mountain don't, burnside, riddle, no, llib, when will I die, Elon, clone, multilevel mark, goodnight sally, paper jam, tyrone, tourist trap, the duchess approves, shape, meow, scientology, shave your grandma, nacho, rizz, daddy, mommy, burned inside, sevral times, easter egg, oh yes they both, kings of new jersey, destruction is a form of creation, rubber hose, card, am I blanchin, fuck you Alex, fuck Alex, fuck you, bye gold, nsa, globnar, Disneyland, Kubrick, not a phase, virus, spookemups, that's just a, you're insane, owl trowel, L is real 2401, occurremus iterum, frilliam, family matters, Matpat, Harold’s ramblings)
@delusionalpaper (Is hell real, is there an afterlife)
@thisisnotawebsitedotcom-com (Dippy fresh)
@/soldofficialyt on YouTube, Justblendin
HUGE shoutout to @eazy-peazy54 for providing so many codes! Seriously, thank you so much for your amazing post compiling them!
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ofstoriesandstardust · 3 months ago
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can't take the home out of oklahoma - iiii. (k.c.)
a/n: dear God the behemoth of the crossover fic is finally finished. please remember to be kind in my comments, but of course i'd love to hear what everyone thought :). if you're new here, you can check out the other three parts here
summary: Two years after leaving California, Tyler hears from Jake, asking him to come to his engagement party. With an offer of putting the whole crew up in a hotel for two nights and an off-season lull, Tyler accepts. Two years after leaving California, you finally have to confront Javy. 
warnings: background iceman and hangster, happy ending, alcohol, swearing, please remember we are all the villains in someone's story thank you
word count: 13.2k
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“So, I was thinking-” 
“Dangerous thing.” Kate mutters around a bite of waffle, prompting a fit of giggling from the two of you as Tyler narrows his eyes. 
“-I was thinking, instead of heading out to Arkansas straight after the end of the season, we take a road trip.”
“Where you thinking T?” Boone asks as you pick up your coffee cup. 
“San Diego, California.” 
You freeze, eyes flickering over to the blonde over the rim of your coffee cup, thankful you hadn’t taken a sip of the hot liquid yet. 
“What the hell, Owens?” You ask tersely, setting the mug down harder than you intend to, the brown liquid sloshing over the side. 
Tyler is pointedly avoiding your look as he sighs, shoulders deflating. “Look, my brother called. He- He’s getting married.” 
Your eyebrows shoot up. “To Bradley?” 
He nods, confirming. “Anyways, they’re having an engagement party out at Brad’s godfather’s. Jake’s invited us, all of us. Offered to put us all up in a hotel for two nights. I was uh- thinking about going.” 
“I think I’ll sit this out.” You say quietly, pushing your chair out. 
“Yeah, I ain’t so sure it’s the best idea to throw her into all of that.” Dani says, Lilly nodding alongside her. 
The girls had been told the story of your fiery departure from your hometown one night this past season, motel beds pushed together, wine drunk and cheap pizza forgotten. You’d told Dexter a week later, while you remarked on your ex-boyfriend’s love for a Louisiana crab boil, after you all had crossed into Louisiana to follow a storm. 
“Jake asked specifically about you.” Tyler admits quietly. 
You sigh, glancing up at the ceiling. “I don’t think the rest of them care to see me.” 
“We’ll make it work, okay? I ain’t gonna let anybody come at you.” Tyler pleads and you sigh again. 
You look at him for a moment but that’s all you need. It’s clear that Jake reaching out, asking him to come to this monumental event, means a great deal to him and you know as his family, it’s only right to step up to the plate for Tyler, no matter how uncomfortable it might make you. 
You know Tyler would do the same for you in a heartbeat. 
“Okay, T.  I’ll go with you guys.” 
His grin is splitting as Boone whoops, already chattering about the beach. 
“I ain’t promising to be nice to them.” 
Your words don’t even phase Tyler.
“Wouldn’t even dreaming of asking that of you, kid.”
-
The blue water sparkles as you peer out the window, the golden sunlight making it shine. 
“Jesus, I forget how blue it is.” You whisper to yourself as you take in downtown. 
The skyscrapers peer down back at you, the boats in the bay dotted across the docks. In the distance, you can see the outlines figures of the USS Midway and the Star of India. 
“How you feeling?” 
You shake your head, looking back at Kate. “It’s weird, kind of. Disorientating. I remember the first time I came home from college, it’s kind of like that. It all looks the same but the world kept turning after you left. Life kept going even though you’re not there to witness it.” 
She reaches out to squeeze your hand from the back of the truck. “I get what you mean.” 
Tyler glances at the two of you from his position in the drivers seat. The group had elected to take the van and your car, the SUV you’d bought last winter after you’d gotten sick of sharing Kate’s own storm chasing truck. 
Tyler’s red truck and Kate’s pickup had just not suited themselves to a cross country road-trip, which led you and Kate to driving most of the way. Tyler had finally corralled you into giving him the keys, under the condition you would sit passenger seat and give him directions. 
“Hey T, can we stop and get food before this thing?” 
Boone’s voice crackles over the radio and Tyler grabs it. You hadn’t really needed a radio of your own, but Boone and Tyler had insisted, outfitted the whole thing themselves. It sort of made you feel like a kid again, shouting across the room with your siblings in lieu of having walkie talkies while you played — everything followed with an OVER.
“I think they’re gonna feed us there Booney.” 
“Tyler, I am a starved woman. You rushed us out of breakfast this morning and we’ve been up before the sun was. It’s almost three in the afternoon and California already said we’ve got a decent drive across the city to get to this place. We’re stopping.” Dani’s voices comes through and Kate lets out a laugh from her seat. 
“Know any good places California?” 
You light up at Boone’s question, reaching for the radio but Tyler holds it just out of reach. 
“If you suggest In-N-Out one more time, I will drive this car into the ocean, so help me God.”
-
Niall Horan’s voice floats softly through the speakers as the car creaks to a stop in front of a familiar house. 
Your stomach flips as the barbecue from a locally owned joint near your Mom’s threatens to resurface. You distantly recall telling the group you’d been friends with the owners daughter in high school in a sad attempt to drown out Boone’s loud voice saying it would never be as good as Cathy’s. 
“You good California?” Javi asks and you startle, not even having realized you’d pulled yourself from the car. “You’re looking a little queasy there.” 
“Nerves.” You breathe and Kate takes your hand, squeezing it. 
“Thought you said they were nice.” Lilly says. 
“They are.” Just not to me. 
“This is quite the affair.” Dexter comments, glancing around the street as you walk up the road. “There’s hardly any spaces left.” 
“Bradley’s family is big.” You blurt out. “Lots of retired pilots who are probably thrilled to see their Baby Goose get married. Lots of friends from the service too I’m guessing.” 
“I wouldn’t want to be footing the bill for that wedding.” Dani whistles. 
The group begins to chatter and you wince, feeling your stomach roll as you step onto the grass. 
“You got this.” Kate whispers as you follow Tyler to the front porch. Tyler reaches out to press the doorbell, only to pull back at the last second. 
You raise your eyebrows. You don’t think you’ve seen the Tyler Owens cower back down from anything, much less a doorbell separating him from his twin. 
“You do it.” He says to you, stepping back.
“Me do it?” You ask incredulously. “You want to be kicked out before we ever step foot inside?” 
“I’ll do it.” Kate volunteers. She rings the doorbell, a short buzz followed by the sound of an I got it Mom! from somewhere inside behind the closed door. 
The door opens a few minutes later, revealing the now-taller daughter of Penny Benjamin. She blinks at the rag-tag crew. “Can I help you?” 
“Hi. I’m Kate and this is Tyler, we’re here for-“ Kate cuts herself off under the rather impressive stare of Amelia. Kate tugs on your arm, pulling you into view. “Here, you talk to the scary teenager.” 
“Hi Amelia.” You say softly. 
Amelia’s face lights up at the sight of you, exclaiming your name, drawing the attention of Tom as he rounds the corner to see who was at the door. Tom appears over her shoulder, nudging the girl back inside the house. 
“Tell Jake his brother’s here!” Tom calls after her before turning his attention back to your crew. “You must be Tyler and his crew. Jake mentioned that you guys would be stopping by. They’re all out in the back playing dogfight football.” 
Dogfight football? Tyler mouths to you as you all step inside the foyer. You shrug at his confused look. 
Long story you mouth back. 
“Anyways, I’m Tom, I’m one of Brad’s godfathers. I can take you all out to the back to meet the group?” 
You let your friends filter in front of you, hanging by the entrance to the kitchen and living room area. 
-
“I’m just gonna…” You mutter, letting your friends file out the glass door after Amelia and Tom. Penny gives you an unimpressed look from where she catches sight of you at the kitchen island and you give a sheepish shrug, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Selfish self-perseveration, sue me.” 
Pete glances up at you from one of the cabinets at the sound of your voice, lighting up as he does. “Well kid, I do have to say we never expected to see you again.” He holds out his arms and you grin, taking the invitation for a hug. 
If there was anything you’d learned about Pete Mitchell in the two and a half years you’d spent around his pilots, was that he offered Dad hugs to anyone at any chance he got. And boy, were they some of the safest hugs you’d ever had. 
“Hi Pete.” You say into his shoulder as he squeezes you. 
He pulls back, studying you. His thumb ghosts over a new scar on your cheek (thanks to an ill-timed rocket from Boone) and taking in the new piercings. “You look good kid.” 
“Thanks.” You breathe, unable to stop the genuine smile at earning his approval. 
His hand rests on your shoulder, guiding you farther into the kitchen. “Nick and Carole are outside with Coyote’s Dad and brother getting all the fixings grilled up. Do you want anything to drink?” 
You pause, stopping next to Javy’s Mom Lydia. You swallow, unsure of how she’ll react to you as you tell Pete you don’t want anything. He nods, grabbing his glass and nudging Penny towards the back patio after her daughter. 
“Hi Lydia.” You say softly. She studies you for a moment before pulling you into a tight hug. You melt into her touch, knowing you had accepted you may never get it again. 
You think of all the times you’d gotten the same hug from her, the innate soft care and compassion the woman had offered you, the same one she’d passed down to her son. 
You pull back, smiling at Javy’s sister-in-law (it seems like James had finally put a ring on it) and the little boy she holds in her arms. “Hi Scarlet.” 
The girl gives you a big grin. “How you doing?” 
“I’m good.” You answer. “Yeah, I’ve been good.” 
She smiles. “Good to hear.” She glances over Lydia’s shoulder. “Would you want to hold baby Jameson here for a minute while Dia and I go grab something from outside?” 
Your eyes grow wide. “You want me to hold your baby?” 
She shrugs. “I trusted you enough back then, I doubt I can’t trust you now.” 
You swallow, nodding. “Yeah, yeah of course.” You take the boy gingerly from her arms as he grins up real big at you. The boy only has two teeth but it looks like the nub of a third is growing in. “You and James make really cute babies.”
“I know.” She says smugly, before heading outside with Lydia.
You bounce the baby in your arms gently, cooing at him softly. 
“I sort of feel like I’m watching some alternate version of my future right now.” You gasp, whipping towards the sound of the voice. 
Leaning up against the doorjamb is Javy. 
The same Javy you’d fallen in love with all those years ago, a fond and yet pained smile on his face as he sticks his hands in his pockets. 
“Self preservation doesn’t work if you’re not outside with all your friends.” You breathe out as Jameson starts making grabby hands for his uncle. Javy walks towards the boy, letting him take his finger. It quickly becomes his new favorite chew toy as he shrugs. 
You snort as Javy smiles down at the kid. “Wanted to change. Scarlet knew I was in here so now I’m kinda figuring she left him here with you so we’d have to be civil.” You swallow, all humor leaving you as your eyes dart around the kitchen. 
In all the years you’d been gone, the Mitchell-Kazansky house hadn’t changed all that much. Maybe there were a few more pictures on the fridge, a coupon for a new pizza place, new throw pillows on the same worn couch, but the small beach front property that was inherently them had remained the same. 
“I don’t- I never expected- How are you here?” Javy asks, finally landing on words after a minute of silence and restarted attempts. 
“Jake’s brother.” You say quietly. “I’ve been working with Tyler in Oklahoma.” 
Javy reels back, Jameson letting go of his finger as he does. The toddler is quick to shift his attention to your hair, tugging on it. You wince. “Okay, I probably deserve this.” You mutter after a particularly hard yank from the toddler’s fist. 
Javy snorts, and you think it surprises him as much as it does you as a shy, goofy smile flickers on his face. “In another life, you were probably his auntie.” 
The words are meant to be light-hearted but they’re like an iron punch as the breath gets knocked clean from your lungs. 
“Javy-“ 
“Sorry, that wasn’t funny.” He dismisses as he crosses his arms. “So- Oklahoma huh? You liking it? The countryside is the last place I expected you to end up but you, uh- you look like you’re doing well.” 
You swallow around the lump that’s growing in your throat at the grief you’re having to confront earlier than you had anticipated. 
“I- Yeah, I like it out there. I’m good. Happy.” 
“I’m actually uh, not surprised to hear it. That you’re in Oklahoma. Just surprised at finally getting the confirmation.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“Well, about a year ago, Fanboy had one of their streams on. He was just a casual fan, you know, background noise. The camera couldn’t have been on you for more than thirty seconds but I swore it was you. I made him go back and replay it a hundred times, I pulled up a hundred examples from other videos on the channel. The team was so convinced I was starting to lose it that Fanboy got banned from playing those streams anymore. Your hair was shorter in that first video, but I just- I knew it was you.” 
You hum, thinking to yourself. You’d appeared in the background of streams and edited videos countless times, but there had only been one haircut in two years. “It must’ve been after the rocket incident.” 
His eyes go wide. “The rocket incident?” 
“Boone still feels bad and Ty won’t let anyone really bring it up because it makes his blood pressure rise but imagine my surprise when I’m fiddling with something on top on the truck and Boone leans over on the console and accidentally sets off a rocket.” 
“That would only happen to you.” 
You snort. “I know. Most of the hair on one side was singed off anyways so I took the kitchen shears we have and chopped it all off in the back of the RV after we left urgent care.”
A beat passes as he drums his fingers against the countertop. “Hey, how long are you in town for?” 
“We’re supposed to leave sometime tomorrow, we’re gonna stop off in Vegas. Why?” 
“I was gonna see if you wanted to stop by the house. I’ve still got, actually quite a lot of your stuff. Like keepsakes and stuff your Mom tried to get rid of. If you wanted to swing by on your way out and pick through it.”
You nod. “Yeah, I should be able to fit that in.” You reach a hand out, nudging his shoulder. “Hey, how was Bob and Sophia’s wedding?” 
“The kind of classy country you can only imagine. It was so them.”
“Did you cry?” You tease and he ducks his head. 
“Maybe shed a tear or two.” 
“Hey, how’s your Mom?” You ask softly.
You remember all too well Javy getting that phone call. 
Four days before you were meant to defend your Masters thesis, Javy had gotten a call from his Mom, telling him that she had been diagnosed with DCIS — breast cancer. 
It had been non-invasive, thankfully, and after a quickly scheduled surgery, Lydia had expected to have a full recovery. 
Still — it had been a terrifying few weeks for Javy and you’d written out and deleted a hundred text messages to him on each anniversary of the diagnosis. 
“She’s good.” He says softly. “Still no signs of a return. Thanks for asking.” 
You nod. “I think about her a lot. And you, you know. How you all are doing. If she’s healthy, if you’re safe.” 
His eyes shine with a feeling you can’t quite name, but can describe only as a response to hearing words he never thought he’d hear but mean more to him then he’ll ever admit. 
“I think about you too. If you’re happy, if you’re happier than you were with me. If you found what it was you had been searching for.” He shakes his head, clearing your throat. “Grieving someone who was still alive-“ He lets out a low whistle. 
“I’m sorry.” You whisper. You know he hears you but he doesn’t say anything, letting the two of you exist in silence as baby Jameson babbles nonsensically.
“I can’t help but ask — you dating anyone?” 
The questions feels so stilted as you swallow. You knew he was trying to play at some cool nonchalance but he missed by a mile; it was obvious your answer meant a great deal to him. “I am.” He raises his eyebrows, clearly waiting for more information. “I have a girlfriend.” 
“What’s this girlfriend’s name?” 
You shake your head. “Don’t think it’s appropriate to bring her into this.” 
He sighs, letting his weight rest against the kitchen island. “I guess that’s fair. You were always more mature than me about stuff.”
The two of you sit in an awkward silence for a few minutes, the hollers of his friends from the back patio coming closer. You have a hundred questions for him and he probably has a thousand more for you but you both know you can’t ask them in this moment. His team must have come up off the beach and would probably be headed inside soon. His eyes flicker towards the back door, probably making the same assumptions as you. 
“Hey, do- do you think we could talk sometime tonight?” Your eyes flicker over to him, seeing the pain in them so clear. It feels unnatural to not reach out and smooth out the lines in between his eyebrows. “Now’s not the time but I- uh-“ He cuts himself off, shaking his head. 
You nod. “Yeah, we can. Just- later, okay?” 
You owed him closure. After the way you’d left, with the way you’d burned him, you owed him that at the very least.
Kate would understand. 
The backdoor slides open, the pilots shuffling in. Behind them, you can see the Wranglers, save for Kate and Tyler, take hesitant seats on the couches. It looks like Dexter’s still outside.
“Holy shit!” Omaha yells, sliding his sunglasses up. The pilots turn, a bunch of oohs being tossed up. 
“Does anybody else get the weird feeling we walked into some weird alternate timeline where her and Coyote got married and had kids?” Payback asks and Javy lets out a low groan. 
“Aliens.” Fanboy breathes out and his pilot tosses him a strange look. 
“It’s like seeing a ghost.” Natasha comments. 
“Yeah, a really bitchy ghost.” Omaha adds and you turn sharply, plopping the toddler into his uncle’s arms. 
“Would you look at that, some things really do never change. I still really hate your friends.” 
“Can I have a hug?” Jake blurts out, silencing his friends. 
You raise an eyebrow as you give him a once-over. “Um, I guess. If you put a shirt on first.”
Mickey hits his pilot as Jake disappears around the corner. “My alien theory isn’t so weird now, is it?” 
Payback winces, rubbing his stomach where Mickey had smacked him. “Nice to see you too Mickey.” You say, rounding the kitchen island. 
The boy gives you a nervous smile. It’s an odd look on the boy who’d always greeted you with a wide grin, home-cooked food, and a picture of his new Lego set. It’s an odd look for the kid who’d probably been your favorite of Javy’s friends, and definitely the closest to you, so long as no one said that in front of Bradley. (Bradley Bradshaw had taken it upon himself to name his role in your life as unintentional big brother). “Hey.” 
Jake reappears, having tugged one of Bradley’s old Top Gun shirts over his head. “Hi.” He says softly, stopping in front of you. “Can I have a hug now?” 
You sigh. “Fine, I guess.” 
You’re not sure what you’re expecting from Jake (a hug certainly wasn’t on the table) but his hug is tight, borderline painful as you hesitantly and awkwardly wrap your arms around his much larger and taller frame. You step back as someone clears their throat. Jake lets you go willingly as Boone reaches out for your wrist, tugging you to sit down in between him and Dani. 
Jake turns, facing the person who’s just walked into the house. 
“Knock knock.” She says and your head turns, catching sight of Lainey’s blond hair. Javi reaches around Boone, nudging your back, reminding you to breathe as Jake’s face lights up. “Wait, there’s two of you?” 
“Lainey! Didn’t think you’d make it! Yeah, uh, this is my twin brother Tyler. We, uh don’t talk much.” 
“Oh, we know.” You say under your breath, only loud enough for your friends to hear, and Boone spits out a laugh, Javi having to cough into his fist to cover up his own laughter. 
Tyler snaps, eyes narrowing, turning to you. “I thought you’d agreed to being on your best behavior.” 
“I didn’t say anything!” You defend, which elicits a loud laugh from Dani as Lilly throws out a “Stop being so hard on her T!” 
Tyler huffs, his hands fall to his waist and you have to bite back a giggle that eventually falls out anyways when you see Kate doing the same thing.
“You’re such a Dad, T.” You say through a laugh, shaking your head which elicits laughter from the whole group. 
Lainey turns as you talk, face softening. “I didn’t think any of us would ever see you again. Where you’ve been?” 
“Oklahoma!” Javy shouts from across the kitchen. It sends his friends into an uproar, reeling from the fact. 
“See, my aliens theory is looking more and more true!” 
-
Kate doesn’t want to admit that her stomach drops at the sight of your ex quietly slipping out the door after you but she knows it’s warranted given the way all his friends notice. 
“What’re the odds she gives Javy another chance?” Jake’s fiancé asks Jake. Jake lets out some discontented noise from the back of his throat before pushing himself off his seat on the floor and meandering into the kitchen. 
“I will put money on her coming back. I’m so Team Javy, you know this.” One of the other pilots (Fanboy, her brain recalls). 
“I’m team her staying in Oklahoma with her girlfriend. She’s earned that quiet life.” One of the girlfriends (Kaycee, she’s dating Phoenix, you’d run through all the possible attendees with her and Tyler in the car this morning in the quiet calm, dawn barely peaking over the horizon) pipes up with. 
“Of course you’re on her side.” One of the others says. “You always liked her more than the rest of us.” 
Kaycee’s eyes slide up to the man. “Well yeah, Payback, I was the one consoling at her at every group event when Hangman came down on her and made her feel unwanted. So of fucking course I don’t want her to get back together with the guy
whose friends made her feel like shit.” 
“You take that too seriously, K. We were obviously just fooling around, not our fault she’s too sensitive.” 
The girl’s eyes narrow at the man. “Omaha, so help me-“ 
“She’s not your piece of meat to fight over!” Dani finally bursts. The in-fighting stops abruptly as the attention turns to them. “I’m just saying- if she’s happy, can’t you just leave her be? She’s a person, not some object for y’all to fight about.” 
The group all but forgets Dani even said anything when the one with the glasses turns back to Bradley. “You really think she’ll take Javy back?”
“A hundred percent. You remember how she used to look at him. And he was ass over teacups for her. Remember that year she bought him the Saints jersey with his last name on the back and he near lost his mind the first time she stole it to wear?” 
“Dude, he wasn’t half as bad dating as he was before. Remember the first time he brought her to the Hard Deck and he insisted he buy every drink for her?” Mickey chimes in. 
“I remember when they came to the house for the first time to watch a movie and Mickey kept teasing her about not doing anything on the couch, I thought Coyote was gonna drown Mick in the pool. He was so desperate to impress her and yelled at us for potentially making it so she never talked to him again.” Bob adds through a laugh. “Which she totally did, she fucking loved him from the first time they matched. Remember how his hands used to start sweating cause he got so nervous around her?” 
She glances at Javi and Boone next to her, glad to see her own unease is mirrored on their faces. Lilly’s reminder from earlier resurfaces in her mind as she plays with tab on her soda can. 
She loves you Kate. She wouldn’t go anywhere in the world you ain’t. 
“Coyote’s always had a way with words around her. He’ll say the right thing, tell her he’ll miss her, and she’ll come back just like she was always meant to.” Phoenix comments and she swallows, looking down at her jeans. 
Javi and Boone both stand up next to her, a whispered conversation happening she doesn’t care to try and hear as their exit goes unnoticed. The discomfort and unease in her stomach grows, feeling her whole world tilt at the thought that someone may say something to make you realize you’d been wrong to come to Oklahoma, wrong to love her, and that you’d go back to the place you had belonged this whole time. 
She catches Tyler’s eye, a stormy look growing on his face. 
I don’t like this, it says. 
She didn’t either. 
-
“See, I’d ask if you’re just taking a breather, but I know you, so you’re definitely hiding.”
Your eyes shoot up at Javy as he gently shuts the front door to the house, moving to sit down on the porch swing across from where you’re resting your weight on the porch railing. 
“Yeah, well, when they start eating my food straight from my hands I think I have to bow out.” 
He grins at the memory. 
Just half an hour ago, you’d been trying to shove Boone off of you as he attempted to take a bite of your burger, crowded up into Lilly and Dani’s space more than they probably ever wanted you to be. Javi had leaned over, taking a huge bite of burger as it had been sitting in your hand farthest away from Boone’s reach and you’d frozen in shock when you’d seen what he’d done out of your periphery. 
Dexter had tried to save face, over the sound of Dani yelling about how foul the move was, by saying that usually the lot of you were much more civilized but Tyler and Kate had immediately refuted it with a unified no, we ain’t. It had been all the encouragement you needed to plop what was left of the burger in Javi’s hand and to disappear outside.
“They seem to really like you. That one, Boone, was telling me we weren’t allowed to have you back. You’re theirs now.” 
You sigh, crossing your arms. “They’re- they’re really good to me. They’re family.” 
“I’ll admit that’s kind of hard to hear. Rooster and Fanboy kinda seem to be under the impression that you still might come back. Mav too. If I play my cards right.” 
You let out another sigh, looking away from him. “Javy, don’t even go there. Please don’t start that with me, cause you aren’t gonna like what I have to say.”
He shifts, bending to lean on his knees as he does his best to catch your eye. “What can I say to fix this? What can I say to convince you to come home?” 
“Oklahoma is my home!” You insist, feeling frustration begin to tighten in your chest. 
“No the hell it isn’t. How many times did you say your heart belonged here? How many times did you say you were meant for city living by the beach? And now you’re telling me that you live on a farm in the middle of buttfuck nowhere Oklahoma and you just what, love your life? I don’t believe that. Not for a minute.”
A whimper of frustration slips out as your hands come down to scrub your face. “Javy.” You say shakily. “I am happy to have any kind of closure conversation you need to have to find peace and move on. But if this is going to be about you trying to convince me to come back to a life I don’t want anymore, then I will go back inside.” You say, mustering up a calm tone you don’t feel and he reels back as if you’ve hit him. 
“I just don’t understand.” He says softly and your shoulders deflate. “I love you. You were my whole world, I wanted everything with you. I don’t understand. Help me understand.” 
His voice cracks and the lump in your throat from earlier reappears. “I was- I was unhappy for a really long time Javy.” 
He immediately shakes his head, cutting you off. “No, no that’s bullshit. I know that’s bullshit. C’mon, was there someone else?” 
“Are you insinuating I fucking cheated on you?” You near shout, straightening up. 
“Well!” He matches the raise in voice, standing up from the porch swing. 
“That’s bullshit.” You say. “If I recall, I was 25, working a dead end barista job because the masters degree I went into thousands of dollars of debt for proved to be useless with a boyfriend who let his friends walk all over me! I didn’t just wake up that day and decide I was miserable Javy! It was a slow build, a build you contributed to!” 
The front door opens and shuts and you spare a glance to see Boone and Javi lingering by the front door. 
Later, they’ll confess to you that the only reason they’d ventured outside to interrupt the conversation is because the pilots inside had gotten so smug in their surety that Javy would convince you to leave Oklahoma to be with him, they’d started to worry about you being alone on the porch. 
Javi had hastily assured you that they didn’t think you couldn’t handle yourself, but he was afraid he’d hit all your guilty spots, Boone sure he’d say all the things you’d wanted to hear back then, and you’d leave the Wranglers without so much as backwards glance. They’d wanted you to know they had your back. 
They’ll admit it was selfish of them and Dani will tell them they’re stupid for not remembering how much you love your life here, and you’ll tell them that you’re not angry, that their intentions had been good. 
All their presence does now in this moment though is piss your ex-boyfriend off as he throws his hands up. “Can’t even have one conversation without your little fucking guard dogs, huh? Little side pieces behind your girlfriend’s back?” 
“Stop it.” You say sternly. “Stop going there. You know I was never unfaithful to you, you know that I never would’ve done that.” 
“I don’t know if I ever knew you at all. Not really. So yeah, who’s to say if you aren’t a cheater if you were quietly miserable enough to dump me and run halfway across the country.”
You groan, rubbing your temples. “God, you’re not listening to me. You didn’t listen to me then, you don’t listen to me now.” 
“All I ever did was fucking listen to you! You never shut up!” 
Boone lets out a “Hey man!” alongside Javi’s “Whoa there.”
“Don’t talk to her like that man.” Boone says. “Have some respect, that there’s a lady and she was a lady you cared a lot about, so be nice.” Boone drawls. 
Your ex fixes him with a glare that would’ve made a weaker man whimper, but Boone isn’t one to back down. He drives into tornados and shoots rockets at them for fuck’s sake. 
Unintentionally or not, Boone’s intervention gives you the pause you need to take a deep breath and collect yourself. “Javy.” You start, softer this time. His eyes snap over to yours. “I understand the anger and frustration and the confusion. I know that I left rather suddenly and I never gave you any explanation as to why. But you have to know, we were fighting all the time and I was so unhappy, not just in my relationship with you, but in my job and myself. And after Texas, I snapped. It was a catalyst event that permanently altered the course of my life.” 
His eyebrows furrow in confusion. “The fuck does Texas have to do with anything?” 
You sigh. “You keep saying that you still love me, yeah? The problem with that Javy is that you’re in love with a version of me that doesn’t exist anymore. That girl that you loved died in Texas and she’s never coming back.” 
“I still don’t understand.” You sigh, licking your lips as you glance at your friends. Javy’s voice is rising again but you know that you’ll never be able to get him to understand the truth without blowing up Jake’s spot. And truthfully, maybe it’s long past due. “We were in love, we were happy, you were my best friend. We go to Texas for Bob’s bachelor party and three days later, you’re dumping me to go hop on a plane to Oklahoma to never be seen again. That doesn’t make any fucking sense! What the hell does Texas have to do with anything?!” 
You move faster than you let your brain think about it, sliding through your friends as you push open the front door, striding through the foyer. You catch Bradley’s eye as you do so and he straightens. “Where the fuck is Jake?” 
Jake comes into view as he shuts the fridge, turning to face you. “What?” He asks tiredly, but judging by the look on his face, you think he already knows. 
“I want you to be honest.” You say, every bit of the calm you’d tried to collect slipping through your grasp as you inch closer to Dani and Lilly. “Tell them the truth about what happened in Texas.” 
“Are we really doing this?” He asks, plopping down on one of the bar stools by the kitchen island. 
“You owe me, Seresin. After everything you put me through, you owe me.” 
Jake sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face as Javy’s head swings wildly between the two of you. 
Just when you’re about to turn and accept the villain narrative these men had decided for you, Jake sighs again. “I asked her to lie about the rodeo.” He says quietly. “We never made it to shelter.” 
“So? A little wind, a little rain, that’s your excuse for going off the deep end?” Javy snaps but Jake isn’t finished. 
“We watched Steven die.” 
The silence that follows is one you never want to experience again as the whole room tunnels in on Jake. Lilly stands up, Dani not far behind her, nudging you towards the door and silently talking over your head to your friends but you feel rooted to your spot. 
“What?” Lainey asks first, pushing her self up as she takes shaky breaths. “You- you saw him die? And you never told me?” 
“Why didn’t you ever tell me that Jake?” Bradley asks quietly, a quiet concern and cool anger laced into the words. 
“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I don’t know if I was trying to protect her or me but I did it anyways. It’s why I gave her Tyler’s number.” He says, finally raising his eyes to meet the room. “I’m the one who gave her Tyler’s info. When she dumped Coyote that day, I knew she was a serious flight risk in more ways than one and I- I knew if I could get her to Tyler, he’d take care of her. I knew she’d be safe with Ty. And I mean obviously he did.” He says, waving a hand at his brother and Kate. “I owed it to her after all this times I said those things about y’alls sex life, all those times I made fun of her behind your back. I mean, everything I said about her age or about how you guys wouldn’t work long-term so you guys would break up-“ Jake cuts himself off, sniffing. “I was awful to her under the guise of trying to be a good friend but I was a rotten friend and a rotten person and I’m sorry.” 
“What the hell is wrong with you?” 
You expect it to be Javy but it’s Tyler and you think you can see his hand shake as he pulls himself off of the couch. 
“Genuinely, you haven’t changed a day. You’re still that same piece of shit you were then, when you couldn’t bother showing up to our grandparents funeral, the people who raised us, because of some stupid little trophy. You’re out here a decade later making a poor girl in her twenties who was simply trying to exist with the guy she loved feel like her life isn’t worth living anymore, that she doesn’t offer anything of value to this world.” 
“But, I mean- it worked out right? she’s been with you guys and she’s happier than she’s ever been in her whole life.” 
“Oh, sure no, it worked out.” Javi intervenes. “If you discount the irreversible trauma and her inherent belief that she would always, eventually, force the people around her to see her as a burden, then yeah, it totally worked out.”
“Which we’re still working on undoing, by the way. Thanks for that. ” Dani comments dryly. 
“Okay, hey, hold on- that’s not all on Jake.” You interrupt and Bradley’s head swings towards you. 
“Are you seriously fucking defending him right now?” 
“I’m defending him because that’s wrong! What Jake did didn’t do anything other than reinforce an idea I have held about myself my whole life, Bradshaw! But you don’t get that, just like you never got it back then! You had two parents who loved you unconditionally and friends and all the support in the world! I’ve never had that! I grew up with a piece of shit family, I grew up with awful friends and an even worse ex-boyfriend, and you people refused to ever understand the life I came from! Don’t pin that all on Jake!” 
Lilly tugs on your arm, telling you to breathe and it’s the first time you realize you’re even crying. 
In a flash, you dig the keys for one of the cars out from Lilly’s pocket, turning on your heel. Your friends call out after you but you don’t listen to them as you wipe tears from your eyes, vision blurry as you make your way towards the car. 
And then someone’s there, wrestling the keys from your grasp. 
It’s Javi.
“I’ll take you wherever you want to go.” He says softly. “I just- don’t want you driving right now.” 
You nod, climbing into the car passenger seat. Once you’re in, Javi reaches over the console to give you a hug. It’s at an awkward angle and you can’t stop crying, but it’s warm and safe and all you need in that moment. 
“You’re gonna be okay, California. We got you.” 
-
“Where did you guys go?” 
Boone asks from his spot on the couch. He’s leaned up against Lilly, feet on Dani’s lap as Dexter putters around the kitchenette in your two bedroom suite Jake had paid for. 
“The beach.” Javi says, setting the keys on the entryway table. 
“Where’s Ty and Kate?” You ask.
It goes eerily quiet. “Um, they had to run an errand.” Boone says after a long minute. 
“I’m too tired to even unpack that.” You say, running a hand down your face. “I’m going to go shower.” 
You slip inside to the bedroom you and Kate had been sharing with Dani and Lilly, walking into the bathroom. After shedding your clothes, you step into the hot water. It soothing against your skin as you bite back a yawn. 
You’d told Javi to pick a beach, any beach, and the two of you had found a picnic table over looking the shore as you looked out at the moonlit waves. 
It had been a quiet, grounding peace that had settled over you as you had reviewed the events of the night. Javi’s quiet voice mixed with the crashing of the waves, soothing you as he talked about Miami, and the Tornado Tamers, and the military, and a hundred different things.
Now though, in the lull of noise, save for the quiet murmurs of your friends through the wall, guilt prickles at you underneath your skin, heavy and all consuming. 
It’s second nature, autopilot, climbing out of the shower and tugging on Kate’s sweatshirt, blindly pulling out a pair of sleep shorts from one of your bags. The bed that had once looked so appealing no longer looks comfortable as you have to work considerably to swallow around the rapidly growing lump in your throat. 
You open the door right as Kate and Tyler return to the hotel room. Tyler gives you a grin as he waves a bag in the air. “Look where we trekked to. Surprise.”
Normally, you would’ve grinned and laughed and said I’d pay good money to see the Midwesterners in an In-N-Out but now all you can do is shrink into Kate’s sweatshirt as you get the overwhelming feeling that you don’t deserve this. 
You don’t deserve Kate, you don’t deserve this team. Not this job you loved so much, not this life you’d carved out for yourself. 
Kate’s face falls as she closes the distance between the two of you. “What’s wrong?” 
“I’m so tired of feeling guilty.” You gasp out, a sob you hadn’t expected coming out. It leaves you scrambling for breath, coming in ragged pants. “I’m tired of feeling guilty for being happy, for having this job, for tricking all of you into thinking that I’m- that I’m worth something. I’m so tired of- of feeling guilty for leaving him and- and I’m tired of feeling guilty for living.”
Kate’s hug is tight, almost as if she lets go, you’ll slip right through her fingers. “Sweetheart.” She whispers into your shoulder as you hesitate to wrap your arms around her. 
“I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t feel like I deserve any of it. I didn’t feel like I deserved it then and I don’t feel like I deserve it now.” 
Kate lets you go, a soft look coming over her face as her hands find your face. You feel like you look worse than you ever have, tears sliding down your face, choking on your own words and sobs and snot. 
“Baby…” She says, so soft and tender, in that way that’s all Kate and usually makes you blush, makes you feel more seen then you ever have in your entire life. “You’ve had one hell of a go at life, I’ll admit you got a rough set of cards. But you- you went through something traumatic and you made the only decisions you could at the time. Those people- they’re angry at you because they feel bad for their friend cause he got hurt. And maybe we’re all a villain in someone else’s life but you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what you need to do for you.” She takes a deep breath. “You didn’t deserve to die for him any more than I deserved to die for my friends. And for the first time, I really mean that. We don’t deserve to suffer or feel pain for the rest of our lives because of it, you know? It’s okay for us to continue to live and laugh and love — our mistakes, they don’t define us. We don’t have to live there.” Kate’s eyes are pleading, begging you to hear her and understand her; to believe her. 
You nod as she swipes a thumb to wipe away a tear. 
“You would never blame me for what my happened to my friends. You’d never say I should suffer in pain or in a life of exile because of it. You’d tell me for what it is — that it was a freak accident and it was out of your control. You can’t spend the rest of your life in those haunted what ifs and I know you’d never want that for me either.”
“Yeah.” Your voice is gravely, raw, but you can’t even focus on it as Boone’s lanky arms wrap around your frame. “Yeah, I hear you.” 
“Sides, even if it were your fault-“ 
“Boone!” Lilly chides, even as she wraps her own arms around you. 
“I ain’t saying it is! You people, you always assume the worst outta me-“ 
“Get to the point!” Javi’s exhausted voice comes from the kitchen. You snort, leaning your head into Boone’s shoulder. 
“Get on with it, Booney.” You whisper. 
“‘M just saying, even if it were your fault, it don’t change that your part of our family now. Always gonna be, no matter where them wind or tornados take us. Or what some stupid Navy guy says about you for that matter.” 
Boone squeezes you before he steps back. Lilly lets you go, albeit hesitantly and you wipe your nose on the sleeve of Kate’s sweatshirt. Javi’s hand finds your back, wrapping you into a tight hug as you turn.  
“You gotta start letting yourself believe you’re worthy of good things.��� He mumbles into your sweatshirt. “Trust me, I- I get it okay. It was just as rough for me when I left StormPar, but Boone’s right. We’re a family.” 
You nod into Javi’s shoulder, squeezing the man before letting him go. You wipe your eyes, taking a breath. “Okay, okay, I think I’m good. Just been a hell of a night.” 
Javi nods and the room breaks into quiet chatter as the bags of food get passed around, burgers getting split up among the group. 
Tyler grabs your arm as you pad over to sit on the couch next to Kate. His hug is tight, the smell of cedar and campfire lingering on his flannel a far cry from the smell of jet fuel and whiskey that followed his brother. 
“You saved my life T.” You say quietly, even though no one would be able to hear you through the conversation at the couch. “The Wranglers saved my life. I hope you know that.” 
He squeezes you. “Nah, kid. We just loved you enough for you to see why you should stay. The saving part was all you.” 
-
“I need to go run an errand.” The table looks up at you, pausing around mid-conversation, breakfast plates forgotten. “So you guys can head out on the road ahead of us.” 
“What’re you up to?” Boone asks.
You shake your head. “There’s just something I gotta do before we head out.” 
“Some unfinished business?” Javi asks. 
“Something like that.”
-
The weather is unusually dreary, rain drizzling down on and off as you make the drive over the Coronado bridge. You park in front of the boys house, turning the key in the ignition as you turn to face Tyler and Javi in the backseat. 
“I’m not sure how long this is gonna take, but I’ll be back.” 
“Man, what am I supposed to do to entertain myself?” Javi moans and Kate turns, giving him a sharp glare. 
Late last night, after everyone had fallen asleep, you’d admitted to Kate that you didn’t think you could leave things with him like that, that you couldn’t live with yourself if you never gave him the closure he so desperately needed. 
Kate had told you, voice muffled, that she understood. That she’d stand by you in whatever conversation you wanted to have with him. 
“Go take a walk for all I care. It’s a nice neighborhood.” You say, before wrenching the car door opening, cutting off Javi’s bemoaned But it’s raining! as you slam it harder behind you than you normally ever would’ve allowed it to. 
You wince, already hearing Tyler scold you in your head as you stride up the expansive driveway, saying a silent thank you that Javy’s beat-up truck is sitting in the driveway. 
You force yourself to take a deep breath as you knock on the door. The blue paint is peeling more than ever you note, before it swings open, revealing Mickey. He’s donned in basketball shorts and a muscle tee and must’ve just come back from a run, based on the sweat and rain accumulated on him.
He almost doesn’t seem surprised to see you. 
“Hey.” He says, leaning against the door. 
“Hey.” You respond. “Is Javy here?” 
He nods, opening the door enough to let you inside and the oak shuts firmly behind you as you follow him through the familiar foyer to the couches in the living room. 
“You guys are not much for redecorating.” 
Mickey groans. “Kid, the fact that we’ve gotten anything on the walls as long as we lived in this place is a miracle in and of itself, you know that.” 
Despite the situation, you snort, recalling when the boys had enlisted you to build Mickey’s desk one time two years into them living here. “Oh, I remember.” 
“Coyote!” Mickey shouts up the stairs as you arrive next to the couch, nudging Jake. He gives you a soft smile, pushing himself up to give you a quick hug. 
“I’m really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to ruin it.” 
Jake shakes his head. “‘S my fault. You and I both know there was probably no other outcome than that.”
The fabric of his Texas sweatshirt is soft as he squeezes you, letting you go as you hear footsteps on the stairs. 
You sigh, turning catching sight of your ex turning the corner. His eyes widen slightly at the sight of you and he tugs on the edges of his Saints sweatshirt. 
He’s nervous, you realize. The taste of that truth is bitter and acrid on your tongue. 
“We need to talk.” You say with more stern bravado then you feel and you force yourself to soften as Mickey lets out a low whistle. “And you, uh, said you had some of my stuff.” 
“We have all of your stuff.” Mickey comments into his protein shake. “It’s all in Bob’s old room.” He points with a finger over his shoulder, but you still know the way. 
You head in the direction to Bob’s room, tugging on the sleeve of Javy’s hoodie as you do. 
He follows you, shutting the bedroom door behind him as you scan the room. “When did Bob move out?” You ask as you pull a box out, sifting through the books. 
“Like two or three months after you left. Think he had plans to move out earlier but uh-“ Javi pauses and your eyes flicker up to study him. “I think they were concerned I’d do something stupid to myself if it was too much change at once.” 
You sigh, eyes fluttering shut as you squat and brace yourself against the box. “Javy.” You breathe out. 
“I’m really sorry about how last night went.” He says as he leans up against one of the taller stacks of boxes. “My Mom’s pretty pissed at me for how I handled myself. I’m mad at myself too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. Drinking or not, you didn’t deserve it. I was just- confused and frustrated and so hopeful it made me scared. I guess I never prepared myself for what it would be like to see you again, even though clearly-“ He says, gesturing to the room. “I always let myself keep that door open.” 
“Why did you keep this shit anyways?” You ask. “You coulda let my Mom toss all this shit out.” 
He shakes his head. “I couldn’t have. I- I always thought maybe you’d come home. That when you did come home, you’d roll your eyes about your Mom and want your stuff back. Fools hope I guess.” 
You let yourself fall to the floor in a cross-crossed position, scrubbing a hand down your face. “Javy, I am so sorry about how I left. You deserved a lot better than that from me, after everything you did for me. But I was scared and I ran and you got caught in that.”
“Every day since then, I’ve wondered what it was about me that wasn’t enough to make you stay. Did I not love you right? Did I do something to hurt you? Did I not stop when I should’ve?” He takes a sharp breath at the thought that he might’ve pushed you too far while being intimate as being your reason for running. “Every night for two years, I’ve laid in bed at night, going over every single detail. But last night, after hearing that it was Jake’s fault, I’ve gone over every what if. What if he had listened to you? What if he hadn’t taken you? What if I hadn’t gotten drunk that night before or- or had convinced you to stay? What if you had stayed home from the trip; what if Sophia had never asked you to be a bridesmaid? What if-“ 
“Javy, stop.” You stay sternly, pushing yourself up off the floor. “You can’t live in those what ifs. They’ll drive you fucking crazy. You can’t keep living in the past. And it ain’t Jake’s fault, much as we would all, himself probably included, like to lay the blame on him. We can’t go back and change it and we can’t live in that history neither. What happened, happened.” 
He lets out a breath. “You’re handling this better than me.” 
“I’ve had two years to process it. I’ve had two years in a new town with a new job and a new partner and new friends to heal from all of it. You haven’t even had two days to grapple with the truth.” You say as you pop the lid on the box. Your eyes scan the room as you let him process the information, trying to catalogue all that he has, what you need and what you don’t. 
“My Niall Horan shirt!” You exclaim, wrestling a box out of the corner of the room. “I’d been wondering what happened to this!” You pop the lid off, subsequently discovering your American Girl doll. “And Julie! I remember that year I went as her for Halloween and brought her over here. She was the highlight of the party for all the drunken idiots.” 
“That was the year of the dolls.” He comments from behind you. 
“Yeah, yeah, cause you guys all went as Ken dolls, except for Mickey, who went as Carlos from Big Time Rush, and I finally had to explain to you who they were after I made that joke, that they were the greatest boy band of our generation, on our second date.” 
“It’s crazy to think about now, how the yahoos could all see how I felt about you and I was still insisting we were just friends.” 
“Oh, enough time has passed. We can admit now that we weren’t just friends. We made out too much, in public no less, for that to be anywhere near platonic.” 
He doesn’t say anything for a minute and you turn, worried you’ve gone too far. His eyes are glassy, a fond smile on his face. 
“I really loved you, you know that?” 
“Javy…” 
He gives a half-shrug, looking down. “You can say what you want about being unhappy, about needing to leave, but I hope you know that I really loved you. I really cared about you and I really thought some day you’d come home to me. You were my best friend and I wanted to grow old with you. It just- it just feels like it didn’t mean anything to you.” 
A lump grows in your throat as he wipes a few tears away from his cheeks. You look down, unsure if you should admit the truth. 
“Javy, I found the ring.” 
“W-what?”
“The night we got back from Texas, I accidentally found it. But it- it freaked me out. I was already walking such a fine line those days, so afraid and so mixed up from what happened, already so unhappy and I knew it was over then and there. Because I found it and pictured you getting down on one knee and tried to think of what I’d say and when I knew I’d say no, I knew I needed to end it.” 
He lets out a choked sob as you work your throat around the ever-growing lump, knowing you have to finish this conversation, as much as it pains you. 
“Javy, of course it meant something to me.” You say, unclenching your hand from where it’s fisted in the dark blue material of the t-shirt. You set the objects down back in the box, taking a few steps towards him. “Javy, I did love you. Really. You were my first real boyfriend, my first serious boyfriend, my first. I thought the world of you and you were my best friend too. Okay, my favorite times were when we would stay up all night laughing or- or all those times we just existed together. But both things can be true — you can have hurt me, I can have been unhappy, and we both can still have loved each other the best we could’ve at the time.” You say, taking another step towards him. “But that’s what I keep trying to tell you. That girl that I was with you, that person you fell in love with, she doesn’t exist anymore. I’m not that version of me anymore.” Javy only looks at you as he cries as you cling to the hope that this time he’ll finally listen.
“Can I have a hug?” He croaks. You nod, reaching out for him and he’s quick to tug you into his embrace, as if you might change your mind waiting a hair of a second longer. 
His hug is tight, and you can feel the way his tears wet your pale yellow Oklahoma crewneck, the same way you know you’re soaking his Saints hoodie. 
It’s weird, because hugging him doesn’t feel like coming home like it used to. 
It’s weird, because it feels like the door on this part of your life is finally shutting behind you. 
You think you’re at peace with it.
“You sure you won’t come back?” His muffled voice sounds. 
“You know I can’t.” He whimpers as you  shake your head. “I’d be coming back to a place that isn’t my home anymore, a life that isn’t mine. Javy, you have to let me go. If not for me, then for yourself.” 
“I don’t know how.” He pleads into your shoulder. 
“It takes time.” You whisper. “But one day it won’t hurt so much. I promise.”
You aren’t sure how long the two of you stand there, but finally he lets you go, stepping back as his back hits the wall, sliding down. You take that as a sign that you can get back to sorting. 
“Hey, you’ve asked me a lot of questions about what’s changed since you been gone. Can I ask you questions about what you’ve been up to?” He asks, voice watery and raw. 
“Seems only fair.” You say, squatting down to rifle through a box full of high school memorabilia. 
“Are you dating Kate?” 
You swallow, glancing at him as you pull out your yearbooks. “Yeah, I am.” 
“I figured.” 
“How’d you figure it out?” 
“She looks at you like how I used to.” He says with a shrug as he stretches his legs out in front of him. Upon seeing your dubious look, he lets out a wet laugh. “She just- she always found a reason to be next to you last night. She always brought you into conversation, looked for you when you weren’t with her, looked for you even when you were with her. It was obvious she cared a great deal about you and I sort of guessed she was who you didn’t want to bring into this.” 
You shake your head. “This isn’t her fight. She’s got my back, I know that, but this didn’t need to involve her if I could help it. It was between me and you.” 
“She seems cool.” He finally comments after a minute. 
“Freaky genius and all the wit to match.” 
“Like you.” Your cheeks warm at the compliment as you untangle the honor cords. “She make you happy?” 
“Honestly?” You say and he nods. “I see my whole life with her in a way I’ve never seen it before. She’s my best friend and my partner. I love her to death and there’s nowhere in this world I wouldn’t follow her.” 
“You guys have any pets?” 
“Two dogs and a cat.” 
“Jesus, is this farm you live on really a zoo?” 
“I think her Mom feels that way sometimes.” You say with a chuckle. “No, the team has Buttons, but he’s really Boone’s if you want to get into it. Ty’s taken on a dog I named Enid by sheer force of will from this dog. And Kate and I adopted a kitten named Peaches about this time two years ago. Ty and I are getting horses in October too.” 
“So… you and Kate living together?” 
You shake your head. “No. Not yet, anyways. Technically, I got a small two bedroom apartment in Tulsa I rent with the other Javi but he’s almost always somewhere in Arkansas with Boone in the off-season and I spend all my time with Kate on her farm when we aren’t out on the road.”
“They seem like really good people.” 
“They’re some of the best. Hey, are you still in touch with Elle?” 
Javy’s eyes widen. “Your friend from grad school? Some, why?” 
“You should ask her on a date.”
“No- No, I couldn’t.” 
You fix him with a look. “Why not? I bet that girl is still enamored with you.” 
“She was your best friend, that would be wrong.” 
You shrug, setting aside a snow globe. “We ain’t together anymore and Elle and I ain’t friends anymore. And trust me, if you and I hadn’t been what we were when Elle came into my life, Elle would’ve a hundred percent gone after you. And I wouldn’t be mad you know. You deserve to move on.” 
“Not with one of your friends.” 
You click your tongue. “I’m just saying…”
-
Kate’s drumming her fingertips on the edges of the door as the minutes tick by, the gnawing in her stomach resurfacing as the time drags on. Javi huffs for the millionth time, blowing a stray curl away from his face as a blue Bronco passes them, pulling up to park in the driveway. 
Javi leans forward, peering over the center console to study the two men climbing out of the Bronco through the windshield. “Hey Ty, isn’t that your brother’s fiancé?” 
Tyler looks up from his phone, glancing out his window. When he finally responds, his voice is impossibly tight, making her wince. “Kate, where exactly are we right now?” 
Upon her non-answer, Tyler pulls himself from the car, a colorful swear leaving his mouth as Javi follows right behind him. She scrambles out of her door, tugging on the two men’s arms. “Stop it.” She pleads, causing them both to turn. “Look, I don’t like it either but I gotta respect the fact that she wants closure. I’d do anything to have that, you know that.” 
Tyler yanks his arm back, striding across the lawn towards the two men as they let themselves in the house. Bradley’s eyes are wide as he catches sight of Tyler, shouting into the house. 
She groans when Tyler shoulders past Bradley and Pete, Javi still hot on his heels. “I am so sorry about them.” She apologizes to the two men as they shut the front door. 
“Tyler.” Jake growls, yanking on his brother’s arm. “I will sit on your head like I did when we were kids.” 
“I am not gonna let you do this to her again. For two years, my team has been putting that girl back together, putting together pieces of her you broke.” Tyler snaps, poking his finger into Jake’s chest. 
“Yeah? And he’s waited two years for this conversation, to finally get closure. They need this. And if you interrupt it, so help me God.” Jake says as he pushes his brother towards the couch. Jake takes the hint, sitting as Javi hesitantly follows suit. After a few moments of awkward silence, Kate clears her throat, catching Tyler’s eye. She jerks her head to his brother and he shakes his head. She does it again, causing Pete to glance up at her. 
“Are you okay, kid?” 
“Tyler.” She crosses her arms. “You know she doesn’t want you to leave it like this.” 
Jake’s eyes flicker up at her, giving her an eery sense of deja vu. It had been a strange adjustment, seeing a carbon copy of a person they all knew and loved, but yet acted so different. Whereas Tyler was rough around the edges, thick cowboy country accent and swear words that would make milk curdle and friends with everyone, ever the life of the party, Jake had kept a lot to himself the night before. He held himself together, never in anyway that would indicate cracks in his well-maintained image. She saw him let loose a few times with his friends, eager to hear about your and Tyler’s lives, and always polite to the Wranglers but there was a certain detachment from it all that Tyler lacked. 
“Tyler, I am sorry.” Tyler grunts, crossing his arms. Jake sighs before trying again. “For all of it. Genuinely. I know you’re thinking I’m real selfish right about now and I’m thinking it too. I’m sure she didn’t let up to the worst of it and I’m really sorry about all of it. But I didn’t call you for some sick or twisted reason of hurting her. I called you here because you’re my brother and I want you here. I want you to see this life that I’ve built for myself, cause I’m finally happy, and I- I want to share it with you.”
“Oh, you mean the life you were too busy building to come to our grandparents funeral? Some life.” Tyler scoffs. 
Jake’s shoulders fall. “Ty, I’m sorry.” He whispers. “You’re my brother, you were my best friend, and there hasn’t been a day that goes by that I don’t regret stepping up when it mattered. No stupid trophy or promotion was ever worth losing you.”
Tyler swallows, letting out a deep breath but doesn’t say anything further and Jake clearly accepts that that’s all he’s going to get out of him. He turns to Kate. “Is she happy? With you?” 
“Yes.” Javi blurts out. “So happy.” 
She peers down at her friend, who has a rapidly growing sheepish grin on his scarlet face. “The way you say that makes it sound like we aren’t happy.” 
“Just have to make the point.” 
She gives an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.” She turns back to Jake and Bradley. “Yeah, yeah she really is happy.” 
“Does this mean I can go back to watching the Wranglers streams now or am I gonna get yelled at again? Cause now that you think about it, we all kinda gaslit Coyote.” Fanboy calls from across the kitchen. Tyler turns, giving the boy a curious look. 
“What?” 
“Mickey used to watch your guys streams until I started appearing in them.” You comment, appearing next to Kate. She jumps a little, taking you in. Your face has the remnants of tears, voice raw, but there’s a lack of weight in your body she’s been seeing you carry ever since she’s known you. You wrap your arms around one of Kate’s leaning your head on your shoulder after setting a plastic tub on the ground. “They all convinced him,” You say, jerking your head towards your ex. “That he was losing his mind. Also, how come my errands never get to just be my errands? What part of stay in the car until I got back did we not understand?” 
-
“I tried to stop them, really I did.” Kate protests. You let out a quiet laugh, hiding your face in the back of her shirt. 
“Have T and Jake made up?” You say quietly. She shakes her head and you sigh.  
“Tyler-“
“No, and we’re leaving.” Tyler says, cutting you off as he pushes himself off the couch. “With the way Boone drives they’re probably halfway to Vegas by now.” 
“That’s physically not possible.” Kate mutters and you snort. 
“Tyler, I don’t want you to leave things like this.” 
“That’s not your choice.” Tyler says gruffly, stalking to the front door. Both you and Kate wince as he slams it. 
“I don’t know where he thinks he’s going, I still have the keys.” You say, finally letting go of Kate. “It’s my car anyways.” You mutter under your breath before sighing. “Anyways, we should really be on the road because Boone’s probably stopped at the alien tourist stop in Bakersfield by now.” 
“If Tyler complains about traffic again, can we take a group vote to leave him on the side of the road?” Javi asks as he cranes his head up at you. 
“We’re not leaving Tyler on the side of the road.” Kate says with a tired sigh. 
“Even if he walks to Vegas?” Javi protests earning a tired laugh from you. 
“Okay Kate, will you drive?” She nods as you hand her the keys, Javi standing up from the couch. “Javi, take that.” You say, pointing to the box. “I’m going to be out in just a minute.”
You wait for the door to shut behind them before turning to Jake. “Okay Jake, you can have your real hug now.” He grins as you pull him into a hug. “Don’t worry about him. It’ll take time.” 
“I’m sure with a couple hours trapped in a car with you, he’ll cave and call.” Jake says softly, forced humor in the words. 
(It would take three weeks, an incessantly annoying three weeks on your part, before Ty got so frustrated with you he’d called Jake while sitting on top of his truck on the ranch in Arkansas. You’re still not sure what they talked about, what was said, but by the end of the week, Tyler walked into the house with a wedding invitation on fancy card stock Tyler teased Jake endlessly for.) 
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, though.” You say, squeezing him. “Let bygones by bygones. I have.” 
He hums. “Take care of yourself.” 
Bradley gives you a brief hug. “I’m glad you’re happy and safe kid. That’s all I would’ve ever wanted for you.” 
“Hope you weren’t too hard on Jake.” 
“No more than the normal amount.” 
“The normal amount is zero.” 
Bradley laughs. “You’re being more fair to him than he deserves, hope you know that.”
“Something something time space therapy.”
You reach your arms out for Pete and he stands up, giving you a grin, as Bradley laughs harder. “Don’t do anything out there that I would do.” 
You laugh. “No promises.” You pad over to Mickey, giving him a tight hug. “If you ever decide you get tired of the pilot life and want to become a storm chaser, you let me know.” Mickey laughs. 
“You’ll have to unblock me first.” You cringe at the reminder and pat his back. 
“Done. You take care of yourself.” He gives you a two finger salute, letting you step back. 
You turn back to Javy, who’s mostly kept to himself through the whole conversation. “Come here you.” He looks surprised you’re offering him another hug, but he returns it nonetheless. “You be safe out there, you hear me.” 
“Yes ma’am.” He whispers. “Don’t get sucked up into a tornado.” 
“I’ll try my hardest. And uh, really do think about my Elle suggestion.”
You both linger for a minute longer before eventually he pulls away. “You sure that’s all you want to take?”
You shrug. “Yeah, I got what I need out there. Sell the rest of the stuff, make a quick buck off of me. It’s the least I can do.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Sounds like a deal. Uh, can I walk you to the door?” You nod and he trails behind you quietly. “So this is uh, really goodbye.” 
“Seems like it.” 
“I’m uh, really happy you found what you’re looking for. I can only hope I’ll find it someday.”
“You will.” You say quietly. “I’m really sorry it didn’t work out between us.” 
“It’s for the better it seems.” 
You nod. “Well-“ You clear your throat. “Goodbye Javy.” 
The door shut behinds you with a soft thud. You sigh, padding across the wet grass as you slip in the seat next to Kate. As she pulls away from the curb, Javi asks how you’re feeling. 
“It’s stupid.” You mumble. “But I keep thinking of this Taylor Swift lyric.” 
“Not this again.” Tyler mutters and through the rear view mirror you can see Javi flick his ear. 
“What is it?” Kate asks softly. 
“It’s just this one line — what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye. It’s just odd, I think. I did really love him at one point and I did really think maybe I’d spend the rest of my life with him, that those would be my best days. And it all just kind of ends here.” You sigh, settling back into your seat. “But- I don’t know. I’m not mad about how it all happened, I guess. It lead me here.” 
Tyler lifts his chin, giving you a soft yet sincere smile through the rearview mirror. “And we’re happy to have you here.” 
-
“So,” Kate starts from the balcony of your Vegas hotel room. Your friends are fast asleep inside, all piled somewhere on the beds pushed together. You’re pretty sure when you left, Boone had pushed himself in between Tyler and Javi and was snoring. “I’ve been sort of- I kind of have something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.” 
You glance at your girlfriend. “Yeah?”
She nods. “Last night, when Javi and Boone left cause of the bad feeling they got- they weren’t the only ones who felt that. It kinda made me sick, hearing them talk about you like that, and thinking about the fact that you might actually do it. That you might remember that you liked your life there better and leave Oklahoma.” She takes a sharp breath. “Leave me.”
“Kate-“ 
“I know I’m not really the best at- at always showing you how much you mean to me, that sometimes I get caught up in chasing the storm, in actually making it all mean something, that I forgot about how great of a thing I have. I’m trying really hard not to take it for granted, because I did once and I can’t- I can’t go through that again. To lose you would be one of the greatest losses of my life.” 
“Kate, I love you. You aren’t gonna lose me, I’m not going anywhere. I only want to be with you, there isn’t any other life for me except for the one right next to you.” 
She reached up, brushing away an eyelash that had fallen onto your cheek. “I think I’m sort of starting to understand that now.” She reaches out for your hand. “Listen, I‘ve sort of- sort of been keeping my eye on some places going up for sale in Sapulpa. I know my Mom doesn’t mind having us around but I think maybe it’s time we give her back her peace and quiet.”
“Kate…”
She reaches a hand up, tucking a hair behind your ear. “We can keep the barn as home base but I found this really cute place for not too bad of a price while we were driving out here. I sort of scheduled a tour with the realtor for the day after next.” She’s wearing a soft, cautious smile.
“Kate,” Your breath hitches. “Kate Carter, are you asking me to move in with you? Are you asking me to buy a house with you?”
She gives a sort of nonchalant shrug. “If that’s what you want.” 
“I- Yes, of course that’s what I want!” You exclaim, belatedly realizing you may wake your friends. Well, not Boone at least, who sleeps like the dead. Your voice drops considerably. “Yes, yes I would love that.” 
Kate gives you a grin, reaching out to tug on the elastic band of your pajama pants to bring you closer to her. You laugh, colliding into her. Your hands brace yourself on her shoulders as Kate smiles wider than you think you’ve ever seen her. 
“I love you so much.” She whispers. “How lucky am I.”
“I hope it’s like this forever.” You say softly. “I know, there’s no guarantee and eventually, they’ll find other things. But I hope it’s always this easy, you know? Not just with us but with them too you know? They might not be the Wranglers forever but I hope they’re our family forever.” You say, turning your head to look at your friends through the glass. 
You feel the outline of Kate’s smile on your cheek. “They will be. I promise. No matter where we all go, they’ll still be here. Can’t take the home out of Oklahoma, right?”
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luluxa · 7 months ago
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I went through something similar fifteen years ago when I left another platform and ended up on tumblr - cos back then some fandom spaces were going through a similar braindead phase of fandom creators not being supported at all, not through comments, or likes, or shares, let alone monetary - one day, I've spent hours arguing with an angry crowd that was telling me that as an artist, I do not deserve any encouragement, comments, any sort of engagement and should want to draw them stuff just cos it's my inner calling or something. I've already seen people being overfed with content, feeling entitled and not regarding artists as human beings but some weird mixture of conveyor belts and inspired entities with their lives solely dedicated to art, producing content for them to throw a passing glace at, or better still, shit all over it cos it didn't meet their high standards. And what I'm seeing now is exactly that again.
How dare creators exist in the real world with stuff costing money? Don't they realize they OWE art to the people? Don't they know it's a basic human right, to receive services and stuff for free? But also, when creators actually are doing it for free, they're doing it all wrong: using unethical platforms, advertising unethical products, collabing with unethical sponsors, not giving enough content, providing the wrong content, employing too many people - i.e., no matter what you do, you're always wrong, because the customer is always right, isn't it, especially when they're not paying a dime.
The fandom is full of Karens who think they're some sort of revolutionaries and it's both hilarious and repulsive.
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