#no one wull know they said

[chocolate-cringymuffin]

Oops 0w0

[turtle-paced]

Revisiting Chapters: Bran II, ASoS

Happy new year! Have a story.

The story so far…

Having made their escape from Winterfell and deciding to head north beyond the Wall, it’s now a matter of travelling for Bran and company. Lots and lots of travelling.

The Northern Landscape

The land is the first thing we’re hit with this chapter. Trees with autumn colours have given way to evergreens, the Wolfswood to flint hills into grey mountains. The land is scattered with long lakes and devoid of roads - game trails only, as we find out later. And it’s cold. Bran, Hodor, Meera and Jojen are heading north, following the blue eye of the Ice Dragon constellation, going up and down and occasionally getting turned around for short amounts of time.

Bran is not loving it.

But Bran’s life had turned into endless chilly days on Hodor’s back, riding his basket up and down the slopes of mountains.

Meera is also not loving it, or maybe she is. She has mixed feelings about mountains, which she tries and fails to explain to Bran. Jojen has the more poetic take that opposites, whether it’s fire and ice, marsh and mountain, or love and hate, aren’t so different after all. The land is one, he says. Meera replies that the land's too wrinkly.

Weather and food both are becoming issues as the group travels. Game is scarce. The temperature is cold. They get caught in a sleet storm, which sounds incredibly miserable. Bran wants to go to the Kingsroad, but Jojen says it’s too dangerous. They’ll be spotted.

That said, Bran soon points out that they’ve already been spotted. Summer’s seen them. There are people in these hills. Sometimes Umbers - usually to the east and usually in summer. Wulls to the west, Harclays to the south, and around where they are now there are Knotts, Liddles, Norreys, and Flints. Bran’s maternal grandmother was a Flint - distant family.

The concerns about witnesses are proven valid when rain drives the group into a cave with a Liddle man. No names are exchanged. Lots of helpful information is. Bran asks how far to the Wall; he’s told it’s still a decent journey if you can’t fly over the hills. They’re warned off the Kingsroad:

“When there was a Stark in Winterfell, a maiden girl could walk the kingsroad in her name-day down and still go unmolested, and travelers could find fire, bread, and salt at many an inn and holdfast. But nights are colder now, and doors are closed.

More immediately, the ‘Bastard’s boys’ are on the road. They’re paying silver for wolfskins and maybe gold for walking dead (no, not the zombie kind). The way the Liddle puts this leaves little doubt that he knows exactly who Bran is. Ramsay’s people also know full well that Bran and Rickon escaped. The news that Bran and Rickon are alive cannot be hidden indefinitely. There are just too many people who know. A bit later, the party circles back around to what happened at Winterfell. They noticed a lot of dead Ironborn and no dead women. The immediate conclusion is that it wasn’t Theon who did the killing.

The Liddle also warns Bran off heading towards the Wall, where Sam’s ravens without messages have at least effectively communicated that some deadly serious shit happened north of the Wall. Which tells Bran and company that at the very least, they’re not likely to find meaningful help at the Wall. Perhaps not even safety.

But they can have sausage and oatcakes instead.

One day there would be Starks in Winterfell again, he told himself, and then he’d send for the Liddles and pay them back a hundredfold for every nut and berry.

This is just about the power of small kindnesses. What follows that is more empathic landscape - a bit more sun, a bit smoother a slope. Just a little bit more bearable all round. And with that, it’s easier to tell stories.

The People of the Crannogs

It’s overshadowed by certain other things this chapter, but it’s definitely worth getting into how much we learn about the residents of the crannogs in this chapter. First we see Meera hunting (and Bran’s developing first crush). She’s a lord’s daughter, but skilled at both hunting and spearfishing. Quite what this says about food security in the Neck, or various recreational pastimes, or gender roles, isn’t clear.

In one of the most hopeful moments of the series to date, Jojen promises the Liddle that he will not be left with ghosts - the wolves will come again. He’s dreamed it. “There are dreams and dreams,” he says. Without more of a sample size you wouldn’t like to say that the crannogpeople culturally have respect for true dreaming and perhas the associated mysticism - but Jojen is confident in referring to those dreams as authoritative. He’s not afraid of sounding ridiculous, he’s used to the idea that dreams can give foreknowledge. Given that Meera refers to “the magics of my people”, it seems that there's a level of respect for magic within their society.

Bran asks for stories after a while. Stories about knights! Jojen tells him there are no knights in the Neck. Meera corrects him that there are no knights above the water - lots of dead ones below, though.

“Andals and ironmen, Freys and other fools, all those proud warriors who set out to conquer Greywater. Not one of them could find it. They ride into the Neck, but not back out. And sooner or later they blunder into the bogs and sink beneath the weight of all that steel and drown there in their armour.”

Thus speaks Jojen. Which is another very informative passage about the people of the crannogs. They have a very different fighting tradition, even to the North. The armour the crannogpeople seem to prefer, it seems, are shirts sewn with bronze scales, plus a leathern shield; the weight is not the best when fighting in the marshy ground. Even their greatest castle is camoflauged or otherwise hidden, which again doesn’t seem to invite the whole siege and straight fight. Instead, the crannogpeople seem happy for their enemies to charge around carelessly and get themselves killed. We’ll see in future books that this isn’t the end of their strategies, but even from this admittedly partisan viewpoint, this seems like a brutally effective strategy.

We get some more details by implication as Howland Reed himself is introduced in the story of the Knight of the Laughing Tree:

“He grew up hunting and fishing and climbing trees, and learned all the magics of my people. […] He could breathe mud run on leaves, and change earth to water and water to earth with no more than a whispered word. He could talk to trees and make castles appear and disappear.”

Another point for hunting and fishing being appropriate for the upper strata of crannog society. And a good hint at Howland’s moving castle.

The Knight of the Laughing Tree

With spirits a bit higher, the party starts swapping stories. Meera nominates the tale of the Knight of the Laughing Tree. Oddly, Jojen says that Bran must have heard that tale a hundred times. But no, Bran hasn’t heard it even once.

Since it’s Meera telling the story as it was told to her by her father, it starts with Howland Reed (not named within the tale). Howland Reed, who wants to see a bit more of the world than just the crannogs, and who goes to find the Green Men on the Isle of Faces. After a productive winter visit, he heads off when spring arrives, and wanders right into the Tourney of Harrenhal. Meera doesn’t use family names, but the identities of the attendees are clear: King Aerys, Rhaegar, all the Kingsguard, Mace Tyrell, Robert Baratheon. Tywin’s had a spat with the king and didn’t show, but there are a lot of Westerlands lords there.

But women also attend (though Bran asks with suspicion if this is going to be a love story - there’s no other reason for women tot be present in a story except romance!). Elia Martell counts as a fair maid, and she’s brought a full dozen lady companions, with the men flocking around them.

But almost no sooner has Howland Reed shown his face than he’s set upon by vicious Walders. As Jojen says, “sometimes the knights are the monsters.” Squires or not, all of them are bigger than Howland Reed. Howland marks their faces as he’s being beaten - but even as that happens, a “she-wolf” arrives and sends all of the squires packing with a tourney sword. Lyanna Stark insists Howland come with her, first to meet the other Starks (explicitly noted in this is that Brandon’s the leader), and then to the feast.

Throughout the description of the action, Meera uses heraldry to identify the characters, rather than names. While this makes sense - did Howland know those names? What’s easier for the audience hearing this story spoken aloud? - It does mean a little piecing together is needed for the reader. Among the more important interactions are Lyanna crying at Rhaegar’s beautiful music (and then pouring wine on Benjen when he laughed at her), and Brandon asking Ashara Dayne to dance with Ned. Tragically, the woman the readers already know committed suicide is described here as having “laughing” eyes - a good bit of writing that implies the terrible things that happened to her over the course of Robert’s Rebellion.

Central to Meera’s story, though, is Howland spotting the Frey squires at the feast. Benjen offers to find Howland a horse and armour, but Howland is conflicted. He has his pride, and he knows jousting isn’t his forte. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself or his people more than he already has.

“You never heard this tale from your father?” asked Jojen.

At the jousting the next day, a mystery knight shows up, sure enough. Bran thinks the knight was the crannogman - they were short, in mismatched (obviously borrowed) armour, and the small crannogman fits the bill. The knight, named in the story for the device on their shield as the Knight of the Laughing Tree, challenged the masters of the squires. They won the jousts, demanding that the knights discipline their squires for the return of their horses and armour. Afterwards, at the feast, others swear to unmask the mystery knight (including Robert Baratheon), with King Aerys sending Rhaegar out to unmask the knight. But though Rhaegar returned with the shield, the knight vanished into thin air.

Bran thinks the story is…okay. Look, he’s got some opinions about what would be dramatically satisfying here. They needed to commit to making the knights the bad guys. There needs to be more violence, with the knights killed at the end. And for all that Bran complained about love stories, he wanted that romance subplot in - and resolved. (Though this does tell you a bit about how women are perceived as standard rewards in the in-universe fiction. The bloody eight year old has bought into it.) Meera tells Bran that Lyanna was indeed named the Queen of Love and Beauty: “but that’s a sadder story.”

“Are you certain you never heard this tale before, Bran?” asked Jojen. “Your lord father never told it to you?”

Because what Bran hasn’t realised is that this isn’t a far off tale of times long gone. This happened less than twenty years ago. This is his family’s recent past - part of events that shaped his family and the politics of the world he lives in profoundly. What Bran misses is right there for the readers.

Chapter Function

This chapter mostly exists for Meera’s story and the promise that the wolves will come again. The rest of it’s mostly walking.

There are very few ways we can get insight into these key events of the backstory with all these child protagonists who weren’t even born when these Big Deals happened. The mechanism of a story for children is actually a really good one, since it tells us about another culture, another time, and two different families.

In writing terms, it’s also an excellent way of showing the readers what’s important through the implications of what’s not told. Meera’s main narrative is about Howland’s experiences, so the ‘camera’ glances at Lyanna, at the interactions between the Stark siblings, at Rhaegar and Aerys, but doesn’t focus on them. They’re unmistakeably there, but they’re not gone into, which leaves room for speculation and mystery and the certain level of ambiguity that GRRM's stories thrive on.

Even more than this, there’s the in-universe meta-level of what’s not told. Ned’s been dead for a book and a half, and we’re still learning about him just for knowing that he couldn’t bear to tell his own children this story.

And why can’t Ned tell this story? Lyanna. Lyanna is the hero of this particular story, even more than Howland Reed. From the very beginning she’s an active presence. This is a story Lyanna drove, first by rescuing Howland from the Freys, then by taking him into the Stark tent, then by avenging Howland’s honour when Howland could not avenge his own. What we’re shown is a girl with both physical and moral courage. She’s daring, ready to fight squires, stand up for her father’s bannerman, and defy social convention to joust in the lists herself. Even in this little story for children, Lyanna’s a memorable character.

Through this, more than just telling us about Lyanna, GRRM shows us the effect all this had on Ned. The pointed, grief-stricken silence is palpable even as the implications fly over Bran’s head. It keeps Ned’s character and his silence in the reader’s view. Which is going to be important when at the end, GRRM has to talk about Ned’s character, his grief, and his silence - again relating to Lyanna.

Miscellany

This chapter is far more about what’s going on around Bran than his internal experiences, but even then:

He followed it with his eyes, wondering what it would be like to soar about the world so effortless. Better than climbing, even. He tried to reach the eagle, to leave his stupid crippled body and rise into the sky to join it, the way he joined with summer. The greenseers could do it. I should be able to do it too.

That said, it’s worth noting that Bran flips back to explicitly preferring knighthood at the end of Meera’s story. Acceptance is a process. Bran's going through it.

The internalised ableism continues strongly. And on that note, mind Bran’s interaction with Hodor. Hodor likes stories about knights, Bran says. Hodor doesn’t like love stories, Bran says. Are these Hodor’s preferences, or is Bran using Hodor as an excuse? On one level it’s childish behaviour from a child…but on another, it’s Bran using Hodor’s voice for his own ends.

Who doesn’t love Jojen’s shade about “Freys and other fools”?

It’s flagged that Howland Reed did meet the Green Men, “but that’s another story.”

We also learn in this chapter that not-yet-Ser Barristan entered a tourney as a mystery knight when he was ten.

Clothing Porn

The Liddle man wears a squirrelskin cloak with a pinecone-shaped clasp in gold and bronze.

Food Porn

Bran fantasises about the eel, fish, and hot crab pie that Osha might be eating at White Harbour. Later, there’s actual blood sausage and oatcakes. Oatcakes with pine nuts and oatcakes with blackberries.

Next Three Chapters

Tyrion V, ACoK - Eddard X, AGoT - Sam V, AFFC

[hunterbunter3000]

Thinking about a fake dating scenario like say Sweets family is always bothering her about not dating anyone and she lies and says “actually I am seeing someone!” But then they ask to meet the person so now she has to find someone ti be her fake date. I would imagine the boys would be fighting each other for a chance to do that.

I know this is super random haha I’m just talking to talk at this point.

YES! AND RANDOM IS GOOD 👏👏 talk the talk and walk the walk babes! Any ideas you have SPEAK ON IT!!! 💓

But omg you're right, they would

Sweetheart walked in the living room, where the team was sitting on the couch drinking beers. She was talking on the phone as she walked past them to the kitchen, not even noticing the boys.

And she's talking to her mom about her love life. Saying "Yes ma! I will bring him this time!" And "You can tell Danni to shut the hell up cause he is real". And then she says love you and hangs up the phone.

Sweetheart, looking at everybody:

The boys looking at her:

Sweetheart: Okay who wants to be my boyfriend for the day

then they all say M E

And all hell breaks loose 💀💀

Soap: What tae FUCK do y'mean 'mE', Ghost?

Ghost: the fuck do YOU mean 'mEaH', Mactavish?

Soap: I SAID ME

Ghost: nah see-- you did it again. 'MeAh'. It's two letters.

Soap: AH WULL PUMPIN' BREAK YE YAH BRITISH CRUMPET

Sweetheart: uhm, guys?

Gaz: Bitch don't even try

Horangi: And why should I listen to you?

Gaz: You get a nose bleed everytime Sweets hugs you.

Horangi: WHAT?? HOW DO-- HOW CAN YOU EVEN SEE THAT I WEAR A MASK

Gaz: it drips under it, bruv. And I don't think her parents want to witness an extremely touched starved man get an aneurysm everytime their daughter touches him.

Sweetheart: GOOD LORD GAZ--

Horangi: OH YOU THINK YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER? YOU CRY EVERYTIME SWEETHEART TELLS YOU A GOOD JOB

Gaz: YO I DO NOT-

Ghost: He cries when Capitan says it too.

Horangi: THAT TOO

Gaz: GHOST STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS

Price: You cry when I tell you good job?

Sweetheart, kinda touched but concerned: And you cry when I say it too?

Gaz: UHM- SIR I-- WELL SWEETS YOU-- FUCK

Krueger: Ignoring the emotionally unstable man--

Gaz: HEY

Krueger: You should take me, Kleine Göttin.

König: Don't, Sweets. You'll never return if you do

Krueger: König what the fuck

Krueger: You can't even talk your way into getting gas at a gas station, you think her parents want to see you freeze like a tortoise having sex when they talk to you?

König: AT LEAST I DONT SNIFF ANY SEATS SWEETHEART WAS IN

Krueger: THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS

König: IT HAS E V E R Y T H I N G TO DO WITH THIS

Sweetheart: Krueger-- YOU DO WHAT

Ghost: He also sniffs your hair

Sweetheart: You do that too, Ghost

Ghost, stares at Krueger: Not while you're sleeping.

Sweetheart: KRUEGER????

Krueger: GHOST SHUT THE FUCK U P

Alejandro: Please don't take Krueger, mama. He would end up in prison

Krueger: (angry German words)

Alejandro: You can take me! They'll love my charm.

Price: What, so you can flirt your way out of personal questions they'll most definitely ask you?

Ghost: Especially with that five-palm forehead you got

Alejandro: CÁLLATE LA BOCA DECORACIÓN DE HALLOWEEN

Rudy: Price, you have no say in this matter. You can practically be her father's golfing buddy.

Sweetheart: uhm, my dad doesn't golf--

Price: I'm 37 you fucking Muppet

Sweetheart: nevermind.

Rudy, surprised: Really?? Damn I didn't know that! You just looked like one of Super Mario's long lost cousins to me because of the janitor mustache you have on your old body

Price: Mother fucker--

Ghost: I don't think you would do well either when you look like a human gopher

Rudy: GHOST WHERE DO YOU KEEP COMING FROM

Alex: ROACH OW STOP HITTING MY FACE

Roach on Alex's shoulders:😠 pap-pap-pap-pap-pap-pap (like a fucking cat)

Sweetheart, rubbing her temples: Oh my fucking GOD- I'LL JUST CHOOSE MYSELF THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG AND GAZ LOOKS LIKE HES ABOUT TO CRY

Gaz, tearing up: I AM NOT

Soap: Me!

Horangi: It's me!

Graves, picking his nails:

Graves: It's probably not me.

Keegan: Uh... If it's no trouble, you can take me. I have to give your brother his game boy back anyway

Everyone looking at Keegan:

Soap: w u t

She takes Keegan.

(He honestly had a good time! Yes, he did start a fire with her siblings accidentally but other than that her parents loved him. Sweetheart sent pictures to everyone and omg they were so SALTY SAD AND JEALOUS. Ghost kinda smiled at a picture with Sweetheart and Keegan together, Keegan's face without the mask and grease paint wearing a nervous but kind smile. He looks happy. The others don't but they'll get over it someday💀💀)

[wildshona]

Very slow going this morning cos I was at a drinks party last night. Just an informal thing. There was a guy a couple of years older than me who chatted with me - well there weren't that many younger people threre. Most were in their forties or fifties - not that some of them weren't hot.

Anyway this guy couldn't get over the fact that i was married to someone double my age. He said I needed someone with youth and stamina to keep me happy. Old guys are OK for their money but you need youth for a good physical time. Where do these guys come from honestly.

I told him I would think about it and went and had a good laugh with Chris about it. He suggested that if I wanted to I could always road teat the idiot. I mean he was pretty good lookingIt was an interesting thought but I couldn't see os sneaking off somewhere. It wasn't that type of party.

So I ended up talking to him again, His name was Jacob or Jake btw. I was just flirting really until it turned out he was staying the night and had a guest room. Well now I had to make a decision.

I mean you know me I am usually up for something casual but he was full of himself and arrogant and thought I was some bimbo gold digger who was atrophy wife. So I was inclined to say no but i was kind of wet between the legs and I had an OK from Chris.

Well, he was alright. Obviously watched too much porn. He expected me to be screaming in passion. Now don't get me wrong i can scream but not for Jacob. He started with wanting a blow job - that was fair eno9ugh. He did have the good grace to say it was one of the best bj's he had ever had. Abd of course he wanted to cum on my face like in porn.

By this time i was out of my ddr4ess and knickers and he was straight in, I mean even on porn a guy wull give the girl a bit of attention with fingers or tongue but Jacob was straight to the fucking.

He had agood arse on him which gave hisstrokes a lot of power and I did cum - more than once - which he liked obs cos that meant he was a great kover. Eventually it was his cum time and he whipped it out and came on my face again.

While i was sorting myself in the en suite he said that now i could see that younger men were best for a girl like me.

So i told him he was alright but I would stick with Chris cos he had more range and knew how to get me off lots of different ways. Jacob took that quite well I thought considering but when he asked when he could see me again and i said no he was a bit let down.

Chris thought it was all very funny when I was telling him about it while he was going down on me when we got home. Good thing about Jacob cumming on my face was that he hadn't left cum for Chrisn to lick through. Then a really good fuck.

[darth-mortem]

Another text from my English lessons. It's about Ghost and Soap from original game.

Simon comes with Johnny to his parents for the first time. 1274 words.

Captain MacTavish and Lieutenant Riley got out of the taxi and found themselves in front of a small, neat house in the Glasgow suburbs. They both got leave at the same time, and John invited Simon to go with him to his parents. To the lieutenant this seemed like a good idea back at the base, but now he had serious doubts, and there were enough reasons for them.

Firstly, Simon still didn’t know how to call what was going on between him and John. He couldn’t open up to MacTavish, and begin to trust him for a long time. The lieutenant didn’t want to trust anyone at all after what happened to him and his family. However, Soap didn’t give up, was gentle and patient, and proved time and time again that he wasn’t going to betray Ghost or hurt him. Gradually, Simon gave up and started to trust the persistent captain. He, crippled both physically and mentally, very much needed someone who wouldn’t judge, who would understand and support him in the most difficult moments of his life. Johnny loved Simon. He took care of him, accepted his quirks, remembered what kind of tea and coffee Riley liked, and also, falling asleep in his embrace, the lieutenant almost never had nightmares. In the end, he admitted to himself that he loved Johnny, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Johnny about it.

So, this brings to the second reason. Even without officially admitting that Ghost and Soap are more of a couple than friends, their relationship have long since gone beyond friendship. For example, MacTavish often touched and hugged Riley. And since he hated being touched in general, Soap was the only one to whom the lieutenant allowed it. Anyone who spends a few days with Simon will notice this, as well as the glances, hints, jokes, and more that happened between the captain and the lieutenant. So, what if Soap’s parents realize that their son and Simon are more than just comrades in arms?

And finally, the third reason. Johnny’s father was a stern retired colonel, a veteran of the Afghanistan and Persian Gulf wars. Simon was absolutely certain that this man would never approve of the lieutenant’s strange relationship with his son. And Ghost didn’t want to get between Soap and his father.

“Hey, Si,” MacTavish took Riley by the shoulder and smiled, “dinnae be afraid. Everything wull be good; copy that?”

"Solid." Ghost sighed and took his backpack. “After you.”

John nodded, slung his bag over his shoulder, walked up to the porch, and knocked on the door. Simon froze behind him, anxiously waiting for someone in the house to hear them and come out.

A minute later, the door opened, and a frail, short woman appeared on the threshold. When she saw John, she smiled happily and hugged him tightly.

“Son, howfur glad a'm tae see ye!” She exclaimed and turned her gaze to Riley, who was standing behind John. “And you’re Simon, right? A've heard sae much aboot ye! Can ah give ye a hug? John said ye don’t like bein’ touched, so…”

A blush covered the lieutenant’s face under his balaclava. He didn’t think Soap had ever told his parents about him, much less such details, and it made him emotional.

“Greetings, Mrs. MacTavish,” he said confusedly. “Yes, you can.”

The woman smiled kindly, then gently hugged and patted his hooded head.

“I’m very happy tae finally meet mah Son’s boyfriend,” she said.

“Maw!” Johnny exclaimed indignantly.

“Dinnae “maw”, Son!” Mrs. MacTavish cut him off sternly. “Come in, boys, say hello tae Faither, and go wash yer hands. Dinner is almost duin.”

Ghost wanted very much to ask Soap what he had told his parents and why, but there was no way to do so yet. Mrs. MacTavish went to the kitchen, but the captain and the lieutenant were already met by Mr. MacTavish, who was a tall gray-haired man with a stern face and a perfectly straight back.

“Well, well, laddie,” he said, “you finally visited us 'n' brought yer boyfriend.”

John’s father looked at Simon, and he involuntarily straightened up.

“Pleasure to meet you, sir!” The lieutenant saluted.

“Hi, dad,” the captain added, smiling cheerfully.

“A’m want tae tell ye laddies richt noo,” Mr. MacTavish said. “Ah don’t approve o' this love o' yers. But I’m still happy that mah Son found a pair. Sae try nae tae disappoint me, Lieutenant Riley.”

“Aye, Colonel MacTavish, sir!” Ghost exclaimed, saluting again.

“Yer boyfriend is very polite, son, althoogh he hides his face,” the old Colonel nodded approvingly. “Mither has prepared a room fir ye both, sae go get dressed, 'n' heid doon fur th’ dinner.”

Soap obviously knew where they had to go, so Ghost kept quiet until they were in the room Mrs. MacTavish had prepared for them. It was a small, cozy bedroom with soft carpet, lace curtains, and a double bed. John started to take things out of the bag, and Simon froze in the middle of the room, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Why did your parents call me your boyfriend?” He asked, confused and a little unsatisfied.

“Because ye are,” MacTavish shrugged. “C'moan, Si, dinnae be like that. We sleep together, take care o’ each other, and I love ye. Tis called being boyfriends fur normal people.”

Ghost looked at him with wide eyes and said slowly:

“You never said that you loved me.”

“Och, really?” Soap smiled cheerfully. “Well, so I’m saying it now. I love ye, Si.”

“I love you too, Johnny,” Riley said, then came and hugged him, hiding his face on the captain’s shoulder.

Mrs. MacTavish cooked traditional Scottish dishes for dinner. There were cock-a-leekie soup, scoth pies with mutton, clapshot, and cranachan for dessert. Mr. MacTavish put a bottle of single-malt Scotch whisky on the table. At the dinner, John asked his parents about their lives, and they were happy to tell him how things were going. Simon was quiet and hardly raised his eyes, but gradually he was drawn into the conversation too. He noticed that they were talking to him cautiously, without touching on the topics of the family, and concluded that Johnny had told his parents about the tragedy that had happened to him. It didn’t please the Lieutenant very much, but he didn’t want to quarrel, so he just put up with it and even took off his balaclava by the end of the dinner.

“Look, dear, whit a handsome boyfriend oor son has,” Mrs. MacTavish said to her husband with a warm and gentle smile on her lips.

“Beauty insae th' main thing fur a man,” the old Colonel began, but, catching his wife’s stern look, he sighed and added, “but aye, yer richt.”

Riley, whose face was disfigured by scars, felt a lump rise in his throat at how kindly Johnny’s mother had treated him.

Tired from the long journey from the base to Glasgow, Ghost and Soap went to bed early. Simon was lying in Johnny’s embrace, his head resting on the captain’s chest, and he felt surprisingly good, cozy, and safe.

“Well, dinnae ye regret agreeing tae come here with me?” Soap asked, lazily stroking Ghost’s hair.

“No,” Simon answered, “I think I’m happy. I feel here like I have family again.”

“Ye do,” John smiled. “It’s yer home too now. At least ‘til we have oor own home.”

“Our own home,” the lieutenant repeated, and a smile appeared on his scarred lips too. “I like how it sounds.”

“Yeah,” Johnny drawled dreamily, “me too.” They were sleeping in each other’s arms soon, and their dreams were warm, calm, and full of love.

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

TWOW: Theon I

Wouldn't be a Theon chapter if I didn't have to craft a meta-analysis.

His shoulders were on fire and he could not move his hands. For half a heartbeat he feared he was back in his old cell under the Dreadfort, that the jumble of memories inside his head was no more than the residue of some fever dream. I was asleep, he realized. That, or passed out from the pain. When he tried to move, he swung from side to side, his back scraping against stone. He was hanging from a wall inside a tower, his wrists chained to a pair of rusted iron rings.

Admit it, for a second you thought you had mistakenly stumbled back into the Forsaken.

+.+.+

The king's voice was choked with anger. "You are a worse pirate than Salladhor Saan." [...] "My brother's debts," the king was muttering. "Joffrey's too, though that baseborn abomination was no kin to me." Theon twisted in his chains. He knew that voice. Stannis. [...] "I know a quicker way." Stannis drew his dagger. For an instant Theon thought that he meant to stab the banker. You will never get a drop of blood from that one, my lord, he might have told him. The king laid the blade of the knife against the ball of his left thumb, and slashed. "There. I will sign in mine own blood. That ought to make your masters happy." [...] The Braavosi slipped the roll of parchment inside a wooden tube. "I hope to have the honor of calling on Your Grace again when you are seated on your Iron Throne."

In case you're not up to date, Tycho Nestoris, a representative of the Iron Bank, has successfully located Stannis in the middle of nowhere. The two parties have entered into an agreement, where Stannis pledges to pay off the Iron Throne's outstanding debts to the Iron Bank in return for financial assistance to win the war. Way to go, Cersei.

Speaking of Salladhor Saan, I would have advised Tycho Nestoris to find out from him how good Stannis is at paying back his debts.

"Salladhor the Smashed. Where are my ships? And my gold, where is all the gold that I was promised?" When Davos had tried to assure him that he would have his payment, Salla had erupted. "When, when? On the morrow, on the new moon, when the red comet comes again? He is promising me gold and gems, always promising, but this gold I have not seen. I have his word, he is saying, oh yes, his royal word, he writes it down. Can Salladhor Saan eat the king's word? Can he quench his thirst with parchments and waxy seals? Can he tumble promises into a feather bed and fuck them till they squeal?" - Davos I, ADWD

+.+.+

"And the grandsons. Lord Wull seeks audience as well. He wants—" "I know what he wants." The king indicated Theon. "Him. Wull wants him dead. Flint, Norrey… all of them will want him dead. For the boys he slew. Vengeance for their precious Ned."

Ned Stark continues to live rent free in Stannis' head.

+.+.+

Crowfood. Theon remembered. An old man, huge and powerful, with a ruddy face and a shaggy white beard. He had been seated on a garron, clad in the pelt of a gigantic snow bear, its head his hood. Under it he wore a stained white leather eye patch that reminded Theon of his uncle Euron. He'd wanted to rip it off Umber's face, to make certain that underneath was only an empty socket, not a black eye shining with malice. Instead he had whimpered through his broken teeth and said, "I am—" "—a turncloak and a kinslayer," Crowfood had finished. "You will hold that lying tongue, or lose it."

Asha didn't recognize Theon, but somehow Mors Umber could.

We've already covered Mors calling Theon a kinslayer in previous chapters (here, here, and here). I believe the northerners view Theon as an adopted brother to Bran and Rickon. I don't think it has any deeper significance.

+.+.+

Crowfood had fingered his beard. "Dead now, I suppose. That smith of yours as well. A man who knew his steel. What was his name?" Jeyne had hesitated. Mikken, Theon thought. His name was Mikken. The castle blacksmith had never made any lemoncakes for Sansa, which made him far less important than the castle cook in the sweet little world she had shared with her friend Jeyne Poole. Remember, damn you. Your father was the steward, he had charge of the whole household. The smith's name was Mikken, Mikken, Mikken. I had him put to death before me! "Mikken," Jeyne said.

I call that having the right priorities. If there were more cake and fewer weapons, the world would be a better place.

+.+.+

Theon twisted in his chains, and blinked down at the king. "Crowfood found us, yes, he sent us here to you, but it was me who saved her. Ask her yourself." She would tell him. "You saved me," Jeyne had whispered, as he was carrying her through the snow. 

First Small Paul, and now this. Does George not grasp how difficult it is to walk through snow that's up to your waist?

+.+.+

"Unchain me, and I will serve you." "As you served Roose Bolton and Robb Stark?" Stannis snorted. "I think not. We have a warmer end in mind for you, turncloak. But not until we're done with you." He means to kill me. The thought was queerly comforting. Death did not frighten Theon Greyjoy. Death would mean an end to pain. "Be done with me, then," he urged the king. "Take off my head off and stick it on a spear. I slew Lord Eddard's sons, I ought to die. But do it quick. He is coming."

Very on brand for a Greyjoy to be wishing for his own death.

This is how I know Victarion murder-suicides.

+.+.+

"Maester Tybald," announced the knight of the moths. The maester sank to his knees. He was red-haired and round-shouldered, with close-set eyes that kept flicking toward Theon hanging on the wall. "Your Grace. How may I be of service?" [...] "A maester's raven flies to one place, and one place only. Is that correct?" The maester mopped sweat from his brow with his sleeve. "N-not entirely, Your Grace. Most, yes. Some few can be taught to fly between two castles. Such birds are greatly prized. And once in a very great while, we find a raven who can learn the names of three or four or five castles, and fly to each upon command. Birds as clever as that come along only once in a hundred years."

Maester Tybald is Arnolf Karstark's maester. Arnolf and his men have recently joined Stannis Baratheon's forces in the village.

In case you're not up to date, it turns out that Arnolf Karstark remains loyal to Roose Bolton instead of Stannis. Jon Snow, after learning this from Alys Karstark, sent a letter to Stannis, warning him about Arnolf Karstark's intended betrayal.

Clydas had dispatched a raven to Deepwood Motte to warn the king of Arnolf Karstark's treachery, but whether the bird had reached His Grace in time Jon did not know. - Jon X, ADWD

The bird reached its destination in time.

+.+.+

[...] Birds as clever as that come along only once in a hundred years." Stannis gestured at the black birds in the cages. "These two are not so clever, I presume."

Oh, I think those ravens are more clever than you realize, Stannis.

+.+.+

"Tell me, then. Where are these two trained to fly?" Maester Tybald did not answer. Theon Greyjoy kicked his feet feebly, and laughed under his breath. Caught! "Answer me. If we were to loose these birds, would they return to the Dreadfort?" The king leaned forward. "Or might they fly for Winterfell instead?" Maester Tybald pissed his robes. Theon could not see the dark stain spreading from where he hung, but the smell of piss was sharp and strong. [...] "The rules of my order forbid me to divulge the contents of Lord Arnolf's letters." "Your vows are stronger than your bladder, it would seem." "Your Grace must understand—" "Must I?" The king shrugged. "If you say so. You are a man of learning, after all. I had a maester on Dragonstone who was almost a father to me. I have great respect for your order and its vows. Ser Clayton does not share my feelings, though. He learned all he knows in the wynds of Flea Bottom. Were I to put you in his charge, he might strangle you with your own chain or scoop your eye out with a spoon."

Feel free to journey back in time and witness how Stannis treated this father figure.

Reluctantly, I must credit Stannis for recognizing the value of maesters. Blech!

+.+.+

"How many eyes does a maester need to read a letter?" asked Stannis. "One should suffice, I'd think. I would not wish to leave you unable to fulfill your duties to your lord. Roose Bolton's men may well be on their way to attack us even now, however, so you must understand if I skimp on certain courtesies. I will ask you once again. What was in the message you sent to Winterfell?" The maester quivered. "A m-map, Your Grace."

That bird also reached its destination.

Lord Bolton unrolled the parchment. "His host lies not three days' ride from here, snowbound and starving, and I for one am tired of waiting on his pleasure. [...]" - Theon I, ADWD

+.+.+

Stannis nodded. "You [Justin Massey] will escort the Braavosi banker back to the Wall. Choose six good men and take twelve horses." "To ride or eat?" The king was not amused.

Lmao.

+.+.+

"Your place is where I say it is. I have five hundred swords as good as you, or better, but you have a pleasing manner and a glib tongue, and those will be of more use to me at Braavos then here. The Iron Bank has opened its coffers to me. You will collect their coin and hire ships and sellswords. A company of good repute, if you can find one. The Golden Company would be my first choice, if they are not already under contract. Seek for them in the Disputed Lands, if need be. But first hire as many swords as you can find in Braavos, and send them to me by way of Eastwatch. Archers as well, we need more bows." Ser Justin's hair had fallen down across one eye. He pushed it back and said, "The captains of the free companies will join a lord more readily than a mere knight, Your Grace. I hold neither lands nor title, why should they sell their swords to me?" "Go to them with both fists full of golden dragons," the king said, in an acid tone. "That should prove persuasive. Twenty thousand men should suffice. Do not return with fewer."

In case you're not up to date, Cersei Lannister has sent Harys Swyft to Braavos to secure gold for the crown and potentially buy swords. I'm not sure if it's worth noting that unlike Justin Massey, Harys Swyft does possess titles and land.

It's not immediately apparent why the Iron Bank would help Cersei after she ceased making payments towards the Iron Throne's debt, but it is possible Arya killing one of her envoys while they're doing business with the Iron Bank could favour Cersei.

This would make trouble for the Sealord and the envoy with the chicken on his chest, she did not doubt. - Mercy, TWOW

+.+.+

"Your Grace should go to Braavos with the banker." "Is that your counsel? That I should flee?" The king's face darkened. "That was your counsel on the Blackwater as well, as I recall. When the battle turned against us, I let you and Horpe chivvy me back to Dragonstone like a whipped cur."

That was the right call, doofus.

I love when there's a designated Voice of Reason! Justin Massey, Gerris Drinkwater, Daemon Sand - they make my life so easy.

What did we learn? We learned that the small victory Stannis will achieve in this village will inevitably be followed by failure, and he should have went to Braavos.

+.+.+

"… to raise an army, aye. As Bittersteel did after the Battle of the Redgrass Field, where Daemon Blackfyre fell." "Do not prate at me of history, ser. Daemon Blackfyre was a rebel and usurper, Bittersteel a bastard. When he fled, he swore he would return to place a son of Daemon's upon the Iron Throne. He never did. Words are wind, and the wind that blows exiles across the narrow sea seldom blows them back. That boy Viserys Targaryen spoke of return as well. He slipped through my fingers at Dragonstone, only to spend his life wheedling after sellswords. 'The Beggar King,' they called him in the Free Cities. Well, I do not beg, nor will I flee again. I am Robert's heir, the rightful king of Westeros. My place is with my men. Yours is in Braavos. Go with the banker, and do as I have bid."

You've got to admire a guy who's willing to go down with the ship!

(I'm sure you get the point by now, but Blackfyre history always has the potential of being fAegon evidence.)

+.+.+

"It may be that we shall lose this battle," the king said grimly. "In Braavos you may hear that I am dead. It may even be true. You shall find my sellswords nonetheless." The knight hesitated. "Your Grace, if you are dead—" "—you will avenge my death, and seat my daughter on the Iron Throne. Or die in the attempt."

Is there a backup plan?

I must admit, I have no idea where the Massey side plot goes once Shireen and Stannis are dead.

+.+.+

"Oh, and take the Stark girl with you. Deliver her to Lord Commander Snow on your way to Eastwatch." Stannis tapped the parchment that lay before him. "A true king pays his debts." [...] "The ironmen are to remain here, supposedly to fight for us. Another gift from Tycho Nestoris. Just as well, they would only slow you down. Ironmen were made for ships, not horses. Lady Arya should have a female companion as well. Take Alysane Mormont."

Have you ever noticed that people who claim to pay their debts often fail to pay their debts?

I've already explained why Jeyne Poole is not the girl in grey, but what I forgot to mention in that post is that it's unlikely Justin Massey, Tycho Nestoris, and Alysane Mormont die during their journey to the Wall.

+.+.+

"One day Your Grace will need to take the Iron Islands. That will go much easier with Balon Greyjoy's daughter as a catspaw, with one of your own leal men as her lord husband." "You?" The king scowled. "The woman is wed, Justin." "A proxy marriage, never consummated. Easily set aside. The groom is old besides. Like to die soon." From a sword through his belly if you have your way, ser worm. Theon knew how these knights thought. Stannis pressed his lips together. "Serve me well in this matter of the sellswords, and you may have what you desire. Until such time, the woman must needs remain my captive."

There they go setting aside marriages again. And look, Theon's being an overly-protective brother! How sweet.

I question whether Stannis truly intends to spare Asha, so I'm not sure why he's making this promise.

+.+.+

Stannis Baratheon paced the floor. The tower was a small one, dank and cramped. A few steps brought the king around to Theon. "How many men does Bolton have at Winterfell?" "Five thousand. Six. More." He gave the king a ghastly grin, all shattered teeth and splinters. "More than you." "How many of those is he like to send against us?" "No more than half."

The Stark loyalists, and the Knights of the Vale will molly whop three thousand Bolton men, but only if Roose lets them leave the protection of the castle.

+.+.+

That was a guess, admittedly, but it felt right to him. Roose Bolton was not a man to blunder blindly out into the snow, map or no. He would hold his main strength in reserve, keep his best men with him, trust in Winterfell's massive double wall.

Looks like we're going to need someone to kill Roose!

Perhaps then, someone will be stupid enough to abandon the walls of Winterfell.

"Now is the time to smash him. Let me [Ramsay Bolton] march on Deepwood."

[...]

We would be fools to march on Stannis. Let Stannis march on us. - Reek III, ADWD

+.+.+

"Wyman Manderly." The king's mouth twisted in contempt. "Lord Too-Fat-to-Sit-a-Horse. Too fat to come to me, yet he comes to Winterfell. Too fat to bend the knee and swear me his sword, yet now he wields that sword for Bolton. I sent my Onion Lord to treat with him, and Lord Too-Fat butchered him and mounted his head and hands on the walls of White Harbor for the Freys to gloat over. And the Freys… has the Red Wedding been forgotten?" "The north remembers. The Red Wedding, Lady Hornwood's fingers, the sack of Winterfell, Deepwood Motte and Torrhen's Square, they remember all of it." Bran and Rickon. They were only miller's boys. "Frey and Manderly will never combine their strengths. They will come for you, but separately. Lord Ramsay will not be far behind them. He wants his bride back. He wants his Reek." Theon's laugh was half a titter, half a whimper. "Lord Ramsay is the one Your Grace should fear."

Does Theon know what's going on with Wyman Manderly?

Lord Ramsay will not be far behind them. He wants his bride back. He wants his Reek.

↓

I want my bride back. I want the false king's queen. I want his daughter and his red witch. I want his wildling princess. I want his little prince, the wildling babe. And I want my Reek. - Jon XIII, ADWD

Good call, Theon. Still amusing people think anyone other than Ramsay wrote the Pink Letter.

+.+.+

Theon Greyjoy chortled. 

x

I know what that says, he thought, giggling.

x

Theon Greyjoy kicked his feet feebly, and laughed under his breath.

x

Theon's laugh was half a titter, half a whimper.

x

He grinned at his own wit.

x

Theon tittered.

Smiler's feeling like himself again.

Theon would have laughed aloud if he'd remembered how. - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

+.+.+

Stannis bristled at that. "I defeated your uncle Victarion and his Iron Fleet off Fair Isle, the first time your father crowned himself. I held Storm's End against the power of the Reach for a year, and took Dragonstone from the Targaryens. I smashed Mance Rayder at the Wall, though he had twenty times my numbers. Tell me, turncloak, what battles has the Bastard of Bolton ever won that I should fear him?" You must not call him that! A wave of pain washed over Theon Greyjoy. He closed his eyes and grimaced. When he opened them again, he said, “You do not know him.”

"No more than he knows me."

Woah, is that Stannis and Theon, or Jon and Sansa? Smells like merging storylines, and characters!

And here I thought Jon and Sansa's nonsensical, contrived drama came straight from the author.

Theon and Stannis are both correct: Stannis doesn't know Ramsay, and Ramsay doesn't know Stannis.

Below, you'll discover how Stannis will successfully deceive the forces of House Frey. However, I fully anticipate Ramsay Bolton will return the favour. How else do we get to a point where he's burning his daughter alive?

You think he's going to fall into your trap. He won't. He's the one who lays traps. - Sansa Stark (Theon??)

I never considered this before, but Sansa and Jon might need Theon's knowledge to beat Ramsay. Good thing he cancelled his trip to Meereen!

(Suddenly, the thing I need most in life is Theon being forced to watch Sansa and Jon fall in love.)

+.+.+

Lord Arnolf's cloak was fine grey wool, bordered in black sable and clasped with a silver starburst. A rich garment, Theon thought, on a poor excuse for a man. He had seen that cloak before, he knew, just as he had seen the man who wore it. At the Dreadfort. I remember. He sat and supped with Lord Ramsay and Whoresbane Umber, the night they brought Reek up from his cell. The man beside him could only be his son. Fifty, Theon judged, with a round soft face like his father's, if Lord Arnolf went to fat. Behind him walked three younger men. The grandsons, he surmised. One wore a chainmail byrnie. The rest were dressed for breakfast, not for battle. Fools. [...] A dozen men had filed through the tower door, led by the knight of the moths and the big man in the silvered breastplate. "You are dead men, understand that," the king went on. 

It looks bad for Arnolf Karstark now, but there's foreshadowing that suggests the Arnolf Karstark faction will fight the Alys Karstark faction in the battle for Winterfell.

+.+.+

"That Braavosi banker claimed Ser Aenys Frey is dead. Did some boy do that?" "Twenty green boys, with spades," Theon told him. "The snow fell heavily for days. So heavily that you could not see the castle walls ten yards away, no more than the men up on the battlements could see what was happening beyond those walls. So Crowfood set his boys to digging pits outside the castle gates, then blew his horn to lure Lord Bolton out. Instead he got the Freys. The snow had covered up the pits, so they rode right into them. Aenys broke his neck, I heard, but Ser Hosteen only lost a horse, more's the pity. He will be angry now." Strangely, Stannis smiled. "Angry foes do not concern me. Anger makes men stupid, and Hosteen Frey was stupid to begin with, if half of what I have heard of him is true. Let him come." "He will." "Bolton has blundered," the king declared. "All he had to do was sit inside his castle whilst we starved. Instead he has sent some portion of his strength forth to give us battle. His knights will be horsed, ours must fight afoot. His men will be well nourished, ours go into battle with empty bellies. It makes no matter. Ser Stupid, Lord Too-Fat, the Bastard, let them come. We hold the ground, and that I mean to turn to our advantage."

"The ground?" said Theon. "What ground? Here? This misbegotten tower? This wretched little village? You have no high ground here, no walls to hide beyond, no natural defenses." "Yet."

Lol, picture digging a pit into the frozen, unyielding ground during a storm like this. Oh, George.

Welcome to the Night Lamp theory*!

*Otherwise known as the one time the ASoIaF community pooled their combined three brain cells, and managed to correctly predict the future.

If you wish to read the original theory (which features fancy images depicting battle formations!), you can do so here.

True to form, the theory is unnecessarily long-winded, overflowing with wishful conjecture, and packed with Stannis Baratheon dick sucking.

Let's simplify this.

What is the Night Lamp theory?

In a nutshell, Stannis Baratheon, stuck in an abandoned village, will use a false beacon to lure an oncoming army onto a frozen lake that's weakened, and ready to crack.

I'm having a difficult time visualizing this.

No problem, allow me to borrow an image from a meta I just talked shit about.

See the weirwood island surrounded by a lake?

The crofter's village stood between two lakes, the larger dotted with small wooded islands that punched up through the ice like the frozen fists of some drowned giant. From one such island rose a weirwood gnarled and ancient, its bole and branches white as the surrounding snows. - The Sacrifice, ADWD

If you extinguish the light in the watchtower, and create a new false light on that island, you've got yourself a pretty neat little trap.

Isn't Stannis in the middle of nowhere, how could any army hope to find him?

I see you've decided to scroll past the rest of the summary. I understand.

Above, we learned double agent Arnolf Karstark had his maester send a map to Roose Bolton, alerting him of Stannis' whereabouts.

"[...] I will ask you once again. What was in the message you sent to Winterfell?"

The maester quivered. "A m-map, Your Grace." - Theon I, TWOW

They're coming.

Who is coming?

That would be the men serving House Frey, and House Manderly.

Lord Bolton unrolled the parchment. "His host lies not three days' ride from here, snowbound and starving, and I for one am tired of waiting on his pleasure. Ser Hosteen, assemble your knights and men-at-arms by the main gates. As you are so eager for battle, you shall strike our first blow. Lord Wyman, gather your White Harbor men by the east gate. They shall go forth as well." - Theon I, ADWD

Though, our main focus is House Frey.

Manderly's forces are separated from House Frey's.

Lord Wyman Manderly slapped his massive belly. "White Harbor does not fear to ride with you, Ser Hosteen. Lead us out, and my knights will ride behind you."

Ser Hosteen turned on the fat man. "Close enough to drive a lance through my back, aye. Where are my kin, Manderly? Tell me that. Your guests, who brought your son back to you." - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

x

"Frey and Manderly will never combine their strengths. They will come for you, but separately. Lord Ramsay will not be far behind them. He wants his bride back. He wants his Reek." - Theon I, TWOW

And Manderly is no ally to House Bolton or House Frey.

The Frey men wore the badge of the two towers, those from White Harbor displayed merman and trident. They shouldered through the storm in opposite directions and eyed each other warily as they passed, but no swords were drawn. Not here. It may be different out there in the woods. - Theon I, ADWD

How do we know Frey men will be the victims?

Because the author keeps telling us these riverlanders are way out of their element.

Theon Greyjoy did not join the uproar. Neither did the men of House Frey, he did not fail to note. They are strangers here as well, he thought, watching Ser Aenys Frey and his half-brother Ser Hosteen. Born and bred in the riverlands, the Freys had never seen a snow like this. The north has already claimed three of their blood, Theon thought, recalling the men that Ramsay had searched for fruitlessly, lost between White Harbor and Barrowton. - The Turncloak, ADWD

x

A few of the older men spoke of other snowstorms and insisted this was no more than a light dusting compared to what they'd seen in the winters of their youth. The riverlanders were aghast. They have no love of snow and cold, these southron swords. - The Turncloak, ADWD

x

No less a man than Hosteen Frey, who had been heard growling that he did not fear a little snow, lost an ear to frostbite. - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

And their new commander, Hosteen Frey, is known for being a tad slow.

Hosteen was a bull, slow to anger but implacable once roused, and by repute the fiercest fighter of Lord Walder's get. Aenys was older, crueler, and more clever—a commander, not a swordsman. Both were seasoned soldiers. - Reek II, ADWD

x

Aenys broke his neck, I heard, but Ser Hosteen only lost a horse, more's the pity. He will be angry now."

Strangely, Stannis smiled. "Angry foes do not concern me. Anger makes men stupid, and Hosteen Frey was stupid to begin with, if half of what I have heard of him is true. Let him come." - Theon I, TWOW

So what proof do we have?

Well, we know beacons are often used for navigation.

They reached Oldtown on a cold damp morning, when the fog was so thick that the beacon of the Hightower was the only part of the city to be seen. - Samwell V, AFFC

However, sometimes false beacons are employed for nefarious purposes.

The beacons that burned along the shores of the Three Sisters were supposed to warn of shoals and reefs and rocks and lead the way to safety, but on stormy nights and foggy ones, some Sistermen would use false lights to draw unwary captains to their doom. - Davos I, ADWD

Something the former master of ships is well aware of.

As for your King Stannis, when he was Robert's master of ships he sent a fleet into my port without my leave and made me hang a dozen fine friends. Men like you. He went so far as to threaten to hang me if it should happen that some ship went aground because the Night Lamp had gone black. - Davos I, ADWD

This is a similar tactic to the one Mors Umber uses outside the gates of Winterfell, which was just communicated to Stannis in the passage above.

So Crowfood set his boys to digging pits outside the castle gates, then blew his horn to lure Lord Bolton out. Instead he got the Freys. The snow had covered up the pits, so they rode right into them. - Theon I, TWOW

And believe it or not, a similar incident occurred with Stannis' own baggage train before arriving at the village.

On the fifth day of the storm, the baggage train crossed a rippling expanse of waist-high snowdrifts that concealed a frozen pond. When the hidden ice cracked beneath the weight of the wagons, three teamsters and four horses were swallowed up by the freezing water, along with two of the men who tried to rescue them. - The King's Prize, ADWD

Starting to feel a bit excessive, isn't it?

But they have a map!

Silly goose.

The map is not the land, my father often said. - Jon IV, ADWD

Doesn't this rely on extremely heavy snowfall to work?

As luck would have it, an overwhelming amount of snowfall is taking place right now.

In this storm, the only visible landmark is the watchtower's beacon.

The lakes had vanished, and the woods as well. She could see the shapes of other tents and lean-tos and the fuzzy orange glow of the beacon fire burning atop the watchtower, but not the tower itself. The storm had swallowed the rest. - The King's Prize, ADWD

x

She was lost before she had gone ten yards. Asha could see the beacon fire burning atop the watchtower, a faint orange glow floating in the air. Elsewise the village was gone. She was alone in a white world of snow and silence, plowing through snowdrifts as high as her thighs. - The Sacrifice, ADWD

If the storm is this bad, why would the lake's ice break?

Because Stannis Baratheon's men don't believe in sustainable fishing practices.

They had spent most of it out on the ice, shivering beside a pair of holes they'd cut in the smaller of the frozen lakes, with fishing lines clutched in mitten-clumsy hands. - The Sacrifice, ADWD

x

"I know them lakes. You been on them like maggots on a corpse, hundreds o' you. Cut so many holes in the ice it's a bloody wonder more haven't fallen through. Out by the island, there's places look like a cheese the rats been at." - The Sacrifice, ADWD

Stannis knows the ice is weak.

Ser Stupid, Lord Too-Fat, the Bastard, let them come. We hold the ground, and that I mean to turn to our advantage."

"The ground?" said Theon. - Theon I, TWOW

And we all know what happens on thin ice!

Guest right or no, Jon Snow knew he walked on rotten ice here. One false step and he might plunge through, into water cold enough to stop his heart. - Jon I, ASOS

x

True death came suddenly; he felt a shock of cold, as if he had been plunged into the icy waters of a frozen lake. - Prologue, ADWD

x

We are dancing on rotten ice here, them and us. One crack, and we all drown. - Jon XII, ADWD

How do we know a false beacon is involved?

Here's the thing, Stannis has a brand new fixation, and 2 + 2 equals 4.

Afterward the king had retreated to his watchtower. He had not emerged since … though from time to time His Grace was glimpsed upon the tower roof, outlined against the beacon fire that burned there night and day. - The Sacrifice, ADWD

x

Wordless, King Stannis walked away, back to the solitude of his watchtower. Back to his beacon fire, Asha knew, to search the flames for answers. - The Sacrifice, ADWD

How does he have enough time to build a new watchtower with a false light?

This is where I differ in opinion from the rest. Many in the fandom have speculated he'll burn the sacred weirwood tree, or a person (Theon). A hallmark of heroism, wouldn't you agree?

I personally believe there's a far better alternative that's smacking people right in the face.

"It glows," said Sam, in a hushed voice. "As if it were on fire. There are no flames, but the steel is yellow and red and orange, all flashing and glimmering, like sunshine on water, but prettier. I wish you could see it, Maester." - Samwell V, ADWD

x

The sword glowed red and yellow and orange, alive with light. Jon had seen the show before … but not like this, never before like this. Lightbringer was the sun made steel. When Stannis raised the blade above his head, men had to turn their heads or cover their eyes. Horses shied, and one threw his rider. The blaze in the fire pit seemed to shrink before this storm of light, like a small dog cowering before a larger one. The Wall itself turned red and pink and orange, as waves of color danced across the ice. - Jon III, ADWD

That wouldn't be the first time we connected towers, beacons, and swords.

And beyond, where the Honeywine widened into Whispering Sound, rose the Hightower, its beacon fires bright against the dawn. From where it stood atop the bluffs of Battle Island, its shadow cut the city like a sword. - Prologue, AFFC

Is there any part of the theory you're unsure about?

Always!

What will happen to House Manderly's men? Who knows! What action will Ramsay take when he approaches the village? Beats me!

But set that aside for a moment, because there's something even more significant to consider.

I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, but later in this chapter, you'll witness Bran attempting to communicate a message to Theon concerning the weirwood tree.

"The tree," one squawked, "the tree, the tree," whilst the second screamed only, "Theon, Theon, Theon." - Theon I, TWOW

You may recall that Bran once found himself in a situation similar to the one in which Theon currently finds himself.

The water was frozen, and the snow had been falling for so long that Bran had lost count of the days, turning the lake into a vast white wilderness. Where the ice was flat and the ground was bumpy, the going was easy, but where the wind had pushed the snow up into ridges, sometimes it was hard to tell where the lake ended and the shore began. Even the trees were not as infallible a guide as they might have hoped, for there were wooded islands in the lake, and wide areas ashore where no trees grew. - Bran I, ADWD

x

As the first sliver of a crescent moon came peeking through the clouds, they finally stumbled into the village by the lake. They had almost walked straight through it. From the ice, the village looked no different than a dozen other spots along the lakeshore. Buried under drifts of snow, the round stone houses could just as easily have been boulders or hillocks or fallen logs [...]. - Bran I, ADWD

And on several occasions, there are hints of someone (Bran, always Bran) watching the events unfold.

"Aye," said Big Bucket Wull. "Red Rahloo means nothing here. You will only make the old gods angry. They are watching from their island." - The Sacrifice, ADWD

x

Sword in hand, he strode through the snow, putting himself between the riders and the king's tower, its beacon glimmering behind him like the orange eye of some strange god. - The Sacrifice, ADWD

What role will Bran, Theon, and Asha play in all of this? I couldn't tell you.

What I can tell you is that the ASoIaF community has overlooked this question entirely, because they wholeheartedly believe Stannis Baratheon is the main character of the story.

Okay, got it. But what happens after, does Stannis win?

Ha ha ha! God, no.

Following his brief moment of success, Stannis will quickly resume his losing streak in this war. He will resort to the horrific act of sacrificing his own daughter by fire, will fail to win back Winterfell, and then finally meet a gruesome demise, because he's one of the bad guys.

Jon and Sansa Stark will then successfully reclaim Winterfell, because duh.

The end.

+.+.+

You have no high ground here, no walls to hide beyond, no natural defenses."

"Yet."

"Yet," both ravens screamed in unison. Then one quorked, and the other muttered, "Tree, tree, tree."

That's strange, who said anything about a tree?

Huh??

+.+.+

My sister, Theon thought, my sweet sister. Though he had lost all feeling in his arms, he felt the twisting in his gut, the same as when that bloodless Braavosi banker presented him to Asha as a 'gift.' The memory still rankled. The burly, balding knight who'd been with her had wasted no time shouting for help, so they'd had no more than a few moments before Theon was dragged away to face the king. That was long enough. He had hated the look on Asha's face when she realized who he was; the shock in her eyes, the pity in her voice, the way her mouth twisted in disgust. Instead of rushing forward to embrace him, she had taken half a step backwards. "Did the Bastard do this to you?" she had asked.

Aw, too bad. It would have been lovely to see a sister embrace her brother in such a way.

+.+.+

Then the words came spilling out of Theon in a rush. He tried to tell her all of it, about Reek and the Dreadfort and Kyra and the keys, how Lord Ramsay never took anything but skin unless you begged for it.

[...]

She has to understand. She is my sister. He never wanted to do any harm to Bran or Rickon. Reek made him kill those boys, not him Reek but the other one. "I am no kinslayer," he insisted. 

I'm not sure if it's important, but it's implied Asha now knows Bran and Rickon are alive.

+.+.+

The memory left Theon writhing in his chains. "Let me down," he pleaded. "Just for a little while, then you can hang me up again." Stannis Baratheon looked up at him, but did not answer. "Tree," a raven cried. "Tree, tree, tree."

Then other bird said, "Theon," clear as day, as Asha came striding through the door.

That's strange, how do Arnolf Karstark's ravens know Theon's name?

What??

+.+.+

She stood. "The Braavosi ransomed my seven of my men from Lady Glover. I would gladly pay a ransom for my brother." "There is not enough gold on all your Iron Islands. Your brother's hands are soaked with blood. Farring is urging me to give him to R'hllor."

Quick reminder for anyone who forgot: this is the same guy who used blood magic to kill his brother, wanted to kill his nephew, and will eventually kill his daughter.

There's only one kinslayer in the room, and it's not Theon Greyjoy.

Anyway, no chance Stannis kills Asha or Theon. Maybe they escape during all the commotion?

+.+.+

"Wise. I am sorry for your mother, but I do not spare the lives of turncloaks. This one, especially. He slew two sons of Eddard Stark. Every northman in my service would abandon me if I showed him any clemency. Your brother must die." "Then do the deed yourself, Your Grace." The chill in Asha's voice made Theon shiver in his chains. "Take him out across the lake to the islet where the weirwood grows, and strike his head off with that sorcerous sword you bear. That is how Eddard Stark would have done it. Theon slew Lord Eddard's sons. Give him to Lord Eddard's gods. The old gods of the north. Give him to the tree."

I don't think Asha has a plan, I think she's trying to save him from a gruesome death.

+.+.+

And suddenly there came a wild thumping, as the maester's ravens hopped and flapped inside their cages, their black feathers flying as they beat against the bars with loud and raucous caws. "The tree," one squawked, "the tree, the tree," whilst the second screamed only, "Theon, Theon, Theon." Theon Greyjoy smiled. They know my name, he thought.

Again with this tree. I don't understand.

BRAN?!

Final thoughts:

The tried and true method of George R.R. Martin: foreshadowing one singular event with 10,000 words of text.

Your Lovecraftian Curtain of Light bullshit theory is bad.

ps. Despite all the work, I really enjoyed Theon's POV after his first three chapters. He still sucks.

Next chapter: Asha I (fragment) - shut up, we're doing it.

-> return to menu <-

[ttteskits]

Voices

Prologue

The last of the drivers and firemen had just left the roundhouse. Engines numbers 1 through 10 and D2 sat around the turntable, the last few wisps of steam mingling in the cold night air. Snow had fallen softly outside. No doubt they'd need their snow ploughs tomorrow if the weather kept up.

Ten huffed. "Weel," he said, "Seems it wull be an earlie stairt fur Nine 'n' ah th'morra."

A low chuckle echoed from across the turntable. "Maybe so but we do appreciate it." Two murmured in her soft way.

"Yeah." One added, his lamp flickering with excess energy, "Means Tommy won't complain about the snow plough."

D2 or 'BoCo' as the other engines called him, after his driver Beau Cooper, hummed thoughtfully, "I don't know. If this keeps up, you'll all be needing one."

Four groaned dramatically as she always did when something displeased her. On this occasion, everyone agreed.

"You know," Eight put forward, "Back on the Great Western-"

"Eight, dear engine," Three butted in, cutting off the pannier with a suffering sigh, "If we hear anymore about the Great Western, I think everyone's safety valves, or whatever BoCo's equivalent is, might just burst."

Eight hmphed but stayed quiet, creaking on her frames to make her displeasure and indignation evident.

Two, eager to break the tense silence, murmured, "Eight, dear, I think what Three's trying to say is that we all have fond memories from our old railways but there's a time for sharing them."

"Alright, I'm sorry," Eight relented. To her surprise, Nine and Ten laughed heartily.

"Och, lassie," Nine spluttered between laughs, "th' stories ten 'n' ah cuid share fae th' caley railway alone wid be enough tae fill th' nicht if we chattered oan th' wey ye dae!"

Six giggled, "Please, you two!" He said so eagerly his boiler might as well have been bubbling over, "Just one-"

"No!" Everyone else replied with varying degrees of amusement.

Meanwhile, outside the roundhouse, Donald had been watching as the stars fell. He began to walk back to the commonroom when the shout sounded. Unnerved, he walked considerably faster.

[lordmushroomkat]

hi sorry to place a mild rant here i just cant do journaling to myself. So i got diagnosed with pcos and i just got birth control to take. And i dont know how to feel about it. Im genderqueer but not ready to come out and like E was the only option they gave me and since im a teen i didnt know, still dont know, how, if, when i can tell these people that i dont think this is what i want. Im writing this right before im supposed to take my first pill and im scared. Scared i will hate it and will have to live with that because i just cant come out. But im also scared it will make me feel better. Do as my mom says and make me less tired, less cranky. Im scared that when she says that she is doing this because its the best for my health, that she is scientfically right. And my dr even mentioned how i didnt seem to care about anything they were talkin about (pills-side effects, “benefits”) but like after the fact i realized that i could have said that i didnt care because all that she wasnt going to improve my life in any fucking meaningful way. Like body hair? Love it. Or well i would like to remove some not all of it, and not feel like in removing like stomach hair that i was agreeing that i was a women or that hair is disgusting. Because i would remove hair for myself ya know. Not for the preconcieved idea of who i am and how i should look. And acne? If i cared id actually put my acne cream on. Fertility? Dont want children, and they talked about unwanted random fertility but im ace and sex repulsed. Beyond the first visit they didnt even mention cancer. Ive been telling myself im going to take these pills to prevent cancer in uterine lining. And im scared to look up how true thag is. I mean on how e decreases these helath risks. Im scared theyre right. Im scared their wrong. I will fucking riot if they are lying because that means this is for nothing. Im scared it wont give me gender dysphoria, scared i will have dysphoria because it wull peel layers off the dissasosiation i face. and before all this i was planning on making my mom a presentation about intersex people and gender. Because shes supportive just a littl confused and not radical, im radical because grief has made me angry and i want to let her in on it ig. But i dont think i can do that anymore. Because i would have pointed myself out as intersex. Imply she could be too if she liked the label. But im scared that her being cis, and having struggled with weight and eating when she was a teen (and that pcos effects weight) would mean she would hate the idea. Would call me wrong or cite drs. She told me to shave under my arms once, for the convience when traveling light on vacation so that deodorant worked better?? And hours after she said it i realized if i existed for ease i would crase to exist. But im worried whats a good ease for her would be a killer for me. Idk anymore. i guess any advice? But that will probably be to come out and i dont think i can do that. any research or resources that proves im allowed to be angry? I think im just looking for people to tell me im normal for feeling this way. Having a bad day. Thanks for any.. help? Hope this wasnt triggering or anything, i just saw that you were nonbinary with pcos too- and yea. Okay bye

I really don't know if I'm the right person to answer this. I was already out as non-binary for years before I got my PCOS diagnosis. When they said "take these pills" I asked about the other options and they gave me none so I simply refused to take the pills. But I'm like,,, I don't super care about the negative affects of PCOS. I'm casually suicidal all the time and I'll keep living for my family but if something kills me I'm pretty alright with it. I don't really expect to live much longer than like, a handful of decades and like honestly the world is on fire so it'll probably be shorter. So like, my perspective on this is not necessarily a super healthy one? I'm fairly apathetic about my own existence.

But like, I understand your struggle here with wanting to explain the PCOS=intersex connection to your mom but knowing she'll respond poorly because she also has PCOS.

I really don't have any solid advice here. Just... I guess, consider really carefully how you want to feel in your body. If you've been enjoying the superficial changes the PCOS has done to your body with this weird little second puberty, maybe you should consider advocating for yourself a little more firmly about it. Your future health is important but so is your current comfort in your body.

[kellyvela]

The northern lords in the conspiracy only plan rally others to their clause using Ned's daughter as an incentive. Most of them know she is not Arya, but Jeyne. But it does not matter to them. And no one among them plans to crown Arya/Jeyne. They are aiming for either Jon or Rickon.

Well, the "big" northern houses invited to Ramsay & Jeyne's wedding have their own motivations, as Barbrey Dustin said, The Umbers want to free Greatjon and the Horwoods want to avenge Lady Donella. But the mountain clans, recruited by Stannis at Jon's suggestion, are a bit more loyal to "The Ned," as they call him, and of course they want to rescue The Ned's girl and retake Winterfell . . . . It is also de fact that they would prefer to die in battle than to die of winter, all cold and starving, but still:

Finally, after a nightmarish day when the column advanced a bare mile and lost a dozen horses and four men, Lord Peasebury turned against the northmen. "This march was madness. More dying every day, and for what? Some girl?" "Ned's girl," said Morgan Liddle. He was the second of three sons, so the other wolves called him Middle Liddle, though not often in his hearing. It was Morgan who had almost slain Asha in the fight by Deepwood Motte. He had come to her later, on the march, to beg her pardon … for calling her cunt in his battle lust, not for trying to split her head open with an axe. "Ned's girl," echoed Big Bucket Wull. "And we should have had her and the castle both if you prancing southron jackanapes didn't piss your satin breeches at a little snow." (...) That seemed to amuse the northman. "I want to live forever in a land where summer lasts a thousand years. I want a castle in the clouds where I can look down over the world. I want to be six-and-twenty again. When I was six-and-twenty I could fight all day and fuck all night. What men want does not matter. "Winter is almost upon us, boy. And winter is death. I would sooner my men die fighting for the Ned's little girl than alone and hungry in the snow, weeping tears that freeze upon their cheeks. No one sings songs of men who die like that. As for me, I am old. This will be my last winter. Let me bathe in Bolton blood before I die. I want to feel it spatter across my face when my axe bites deep into a Bolton skull. I want to lick it off my lips and die with the taste of it on my tongue." "Aye!" shouted Morgan Liddle. "Blood and battle!" Then all the hillmen were shouting, banging their cups and drinking horns on the table, filling the king's tent with the clangor.

Anyways, fave sister stans love to use these quotes about the Ned's little girl, uniting the north, as proof that she one day will be the North's monarch.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 102

WULL IT’S TIME!

IT’S TIME!

IT’S!  RIBRIANNE!  TIME!

So if you’re like me-- and I know I am-- you’re probably watching this arc and wondering where the hell Universe 2′s team is during all of this.   We’ve been following U7 the whole time, and we just saw a bunch of stuff with U6 and U11 in the last few episodes.  U9 got erased, so they’re accounted for, and U3, U4, and U10 have provided a steady supply of jobbers for the main cast to whale on. 

But Universe 2 has been largely absent from this battle, except for a scene or two where their Yardratti fighter, Jimiz, tussled with Goku for a bit.  They’ve suffered zero eliminations so far, and while they also haven’t eliminated anyone else, that’s not the object of the game.  The team with the most members standing at the end is the winner, so as of this episode, Universe 2 was technically in the lead, even though they haven’t done anything.  If a team could make it through the entire Tournament of Power without fighting while the other teams whittled each other down, that would totally work. 

However, that is not Universe 2′s strategy.  In this episode, Brianne de Chateau, the team’s captain, basically calls out to everyone else on the stage to watch her perform her transformation.  I don’t know why she waited this long, or what her team was doing until now, but they clearly weren’t hiding from the competition for any strategic purpose.  She’s literally inviting everyone to watch her.

So the big gag here is that no one in this cartoon outside of Universe 2 understands any of this.  Pell, their Supreme Kai, starts marking the fuck out, and Helles the Destroyer provides a running commentary on every move her team makes, but none of it really makes any sense, and none of the other characters get it either.  I mean, I like Universe 2′s gimmicks, but I’d be lying if I said I understood any of this.  But I’ll try to explain it as well as I can. 

So for starters, Brianne is part of a trio called the Kamikaze Fireballs.  Or... Tokkou Hintotama.  Or... the Maiden Squadron.  The Dragon Ball Wiki can’t make up its mind.  We’re not off to a great start.  Geez, I could start a sideblog just trying to unpack Team Universe 2. 

All right, let’s soldier on.  Brianne’s the green-haired lady in pink, and that’s Sanka Coo on the left in blue, and Sousu Roas on the right in yellow.  I like her li’l hat, that’s adorable. 

I’m not totally dense here.  They’re clearly doing a Magical Girl/Pop Idol thing with this, although the rest of Team Universe 2 looks like a mishmash of completely unrelated genres.  From left to right, we have:

Bikal, a rejected Darkstalker character

Jimiz, an OC based on a single filler scene from an episode of DBZ (respect)

Rabanra a demon kid or something?  I don’t know

Zarbuto: Former star of the 1940′s sci-fi serial  Zap Astro’s Star Patrol.

Zirloin: A big blue dude in a Roman Soldier costume.

Also there’s a couple of snipers on the team, but we’ll get to them later.

Anyway, despite the aesthetic clash, the whole team is into Brianne’s love act, so they cheer her on as she and her partners to their big Magical Girl transformation.  Everyone watches, transfixed by confusion, resentment, or curiosity. 

Except for 17, who shoots hand lasers at them.

Everyone bawls out 17 for this.  In his defense, the Fireball Angels or whatever they’re called were wide open, and he already spared the last two girl opponents they ran into.  They’re here to win this thing, aren’t they?  But Goku wanted to see how much stronger the Kamikaze Maidens got, and he’s no stranger to long transformation sequences.  Also, Top buts into this argument, since he’s a big proponent of theatrics and elaborate poses in battle.  So 17′s like “Sheesh, fine.”  And the Fireball Squadron goes back to start over. 

Okay, so let’s be clear about this.  Lot’s of smartalecks out there love to poke fun at this stuff, and say things like “Why don’t they just shoot the hero during the long transformation sequence!”  This episode answers that question.

1) 17 just tried it.

2) It doesn’t work.  The ladies aren’t even hurt.

3) Everyone yelled at him for being impolite.

4) They’re just gonna start over again, so you might as well lay out and let them finish their spot. 

5) They don’t fly the ring to Mt. Doom because Sauron has flying monsters who would intercept those eagles you’re thinking of.  You’re not clever.

So yeah, we’re starting over.  That’s fine by me, I could watch this stuff all day.  KISS COSTUME CHANGE, ACTIVATE

  LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOO-VE GUN!

People try to tell me GT wasn’t that bad or the Zamasu Saga wasn’t that bad.  All I know is that I really dreaded sitting through all those shitty epiosdes, and this one is a breeze.  Everything’s so colorful and I like how the tournament stage looks like a Road Runner cartoon now, and nothing hurts.  Anyway, Brianne turns into Ribrianne, which has always confused me because it’s just her first name with two more letters in front of it.  

Sanka Coo becomes Kankusa, which.... they just rearranged her name for that, didn’t they?   Also she’s another cat lady, so if you missed the one from Universe 9, we’ve gotcha covered.

Sousu Roas becomes Rosie.  Well... that’s just a regular ass name.  That’d be like if Billy Batson said “Shazam” and turned into a guy named John.

Fuck yeah!  Fireball Ballfires Squadron in full effect! 

So first off, Ribrianne starts shooting pink hearts and pink smoke everywhere.  It’s not really clear what this is or how it works or what it does.  Helles just keeps talking about how it’s “love” and “beauty”, but that doesn’t actually convey any information.  At best, it just raises further questions. 

Top refuses to inhale the stuff...

But Goku takes a sniff, because why not?   It doesn’t seem to hurt him or anything. 

The Team U7 guys are unaffected, which they seem to consider a sign of their discipline, and they point out Roshi isn’t bothered, even though he would be the most at-risk.  He credits Puar for helping him overcome his uncontrollable horniness, so is that what this is?  Did Ribrianne shoot pheromones into the arena?  Is she trying to make everyone too horny to fight back?

I mean, part of the gag here is that the trio is supposed to start out pretty and then get super-extra beautiful when they transform, but Krillin thinks their transforms are kind of a step backwards, while Universe 10′s guys all seem blown away by how hot the girls are now.  So whether Ribrianne is beautiful is a subjective matter, which... I mean, that’s an interesting approach to a character, but it also gets kind of confusing.  I don’t think Ribrianne would be Roshi’s type, and yet he acts like he’s achieved something by resisting her charms.  The U10 guys are seduced by her, but it doesn’t matter because most of them are already eliminated.  And then you’ve got Vegeta, who seems to find her so revolting that he can barely stomach fighting her. Then again, Vegeta acts disgusted by everyone. 

So finally, these two go at it, and it’s my favorite pairing from this tournament, even though it doesn’t really amount to much.  They put a quick sequence of Vegeta fighting this big pink clown lady in the opening credits, and I was blown away by how awesome it looked, and so I was looking forward to Ribrianne ever since.  In this episode, they finally throw down, and the same cool fight sequence gets recycled here, with a little more thrown in for good measure.

I can’t explain it.  Maybe it’s the color scheme, or the fact that Vegeta is my second favorite DBZ character.  Ribrianne looks like his complete opposite, like they shouldn’t even be in the same cartoon.  She looks like an elementary school teacher who went a little overboard with her classroom’s Halloween party.  But she sees Vegeta coming at her and she’s like “Let’s go, jackass!”

I just love this image of a cutesie character just taking it to Vegeta, and he’s not gonna back down because he’s a Saiyan warrior who doesn’t run from a fight... except...

Rirbrianne comes at Vegeta with this rolling attack (Fireball of Me!) and Vegeta can’t bring himself to strike back.

He’s just too grossed out.  I don’t know if this is a fatphobic thing, or he can’t handle Ribrianne’s face looking like an old-timey TV screen, or maybe the rolling made him dizzy.  Or maybe the love smoke finally got to him.  Anyway, he backs off.

That suits Ribrianne just fine, as she hits another opponent instead and eliminates him.  Dyrasem, if you were wondering.  And yes, he’s a Universe 10 guy. 

So what about the other Jumping Bomb Angels?  Well, Rosie goes after Goku, and seems to do okay, although Goku’s been hustling fighters this whole Tournament, so “doing okay” against Goku is kind of a tricky thing to judge.  Still, you gotta hand it to these gals.  They jumped right in and went after the biggest cats in this tournament. 

Same with Kankasu, who’s determined to punish 17 for interrupting their transformation sequence earlier.  This is no place to hold a grudge, as Universe 9 already demonstrated.  But Kankasu is driven by animal passions or something, so she’s not exactly the level-headed one of the team.

She seems to have 17 on the ropes, just scratching, clawing, and biting him at will, but then he throws up his force field and shuts her down without any trouble.  He’s got infinite stamina, so it’s pretty easy for 17 to rope-a-dope someone.  I’m not clear on this spot, but I get the impression that Knakasu is somehow stuck?  Like, maybe she ‘s trapped within the forcefield instead of just clinging to the outside of it?

17 nearly eliminates Kankasu, but she’s saved by her teammate Bikal.  Good hustle, ladies.  Nice to see a team that watches each other’s backs.

Uh...

Okay.  Uh...

Yeah, I’m pretty sure Kankusa and Bikal are an item, you guys.

18′s like “Ha ha, those lesbians really wrecked your shit, 17.”  And 17′s like “Shut up, I was too distracted thinking about my cool park ranger job.” 

Now 17 means business.  To be fair, there’s dinosaurs at his job, so I can see how it would be hard to get in the right frame of mind for this event.  Anyway, he takes out Bikal first, so she won’t be able to save anyone else.

This enrages Kankusa, which also makes her fight sloppy.  17 gets the upper hand, and when Ribrianne tries to assist, Kankusa tells her to stay out of it.  Ribrianne respects her decision, which sort of exposes the team’s weakness.  The whole love thing is a great motivator and it keeps the team united, but also makes them a little too sentimental for their own good.  

Somehow she gets 17 up in the air and leaps after him, right into the path of the big light that shines down on the stage...

And this was 17′s plan.  He bounces off the surface of the light and launches himself back at her with an energy blast ready to go.  Is that even legal?  The Grand Zenos allow it,since it’s cool. 

17 congratulates Rosie for a battle well-fought, sort of like his muted appreciation to Piccolo when they fought in DBZ.  Then he blasts her out of the ring. 

Well, now they can hold hands on the bench, at least. 

So 17′s looking pretty great right now, but he’s also incurred the wrath of Ribrianne.  This looks like a pretty good cliffhanger, but I’m pretty sure the next episode has nothing to do with this at all.  I guess we’ll see.

[baelontargaryen]

Daenerys Targaryen Appreciation Month 2022

Day 26 → The Key Five: Arya Stark

“As you command.” The knight gave her a curious look. “You are your brother’s sister, in truth.”

“Viserys?” She did not understand.

“No,” he answered. “Rhaegar.” He galloped off.

—AGOT, Daenerys VI

“I think you are Rhaegar Targaryen’s sister,” Ser Jorah said with a rueful half smile.

— ASOS, Daenerys IV

“No,” said Alleras. “It was Prince Rhaegar’s young son Aegon whose head was dashed against the wall by the Lion of Lannister’s brave men. We speak of Rhaegar’s sister, born on Dragonstone before its fall. The one they called Daenerys.”

— AFFC, Prologue

“Wasn’t there some princess too?” asked a whore. She was the same one who’d said the meat was grey.

“Two,” said the old fellow. “One was Rhaegar’s daughter, t’other was his sister.”

[...] “Daenerys,” Davos said. “She was named for the Daenerys who wed the Prince of Dorne during the reign of Daeron the Second. I don’t know what became of her.”

— ADWD, Davos II

Ser Barristan went to one knee before her. “My queen, your realm has need of you. You are not wanted here, but in Westeros men will flock to your banners by the thousands, great lords and noble knights. ‘She is come,’ they will shout to one another, in glad voices. ‘Prince Rhaegar’s sister has come home at last.’ ”

— ADWD, Daenerys III

And then Prince Aegon spoke. “Then put your hopes on me,” he said. “Daenerys is Prince Rhaegar’s sister, but I am Rhaegar’s son. I am the only dragon that you need.”

...

“Some,” allowed Homeless Harry, “not many. Rhaegar’s sister has dragons. Rhaegar’s son does not. We do not have the strength to take the realm without Daenerys and her army. Her Unsullied.”

— ADWD, The Lost Lord

~

So it was. “I was seven when Elia died. They say I held her daughter Rhaenys once, when I was too young to remember. Aegon will be a stranger to me, whether true or false.” The princess paused. “We looked for Rhaegar’s sister, not his son.” Her father had confided in Ser Daemon when he chose him as his daughter's shield; with him at least she could speak freely. “I would sooner it were Quentyn who’d returned.”

— TWOW, Arianne I

—

“Was ever snow so black?” asked Lord Wyman. “Ramsay took Lord Hornwood’s lands by forcibly wedding his widow, then locked her in a tower and forgot her. It is said she ate her own fingers in her extremity … and the Lannister notion of king’s justice is to reward her killer with Ned Stark’s little girl.”

—ADWD, Davos IV

“And do you imagine the Hornwood men have forgotten the Bastard’s last marriage, and how his lady wife was left to starve, chewing her own fingers? What do you think passes through their heads when they hear the new bride weeping? Valiant Ned’s precious little girl.”

— ADWD, The Turncloak

But the wolves insisted; Roose Bolton could not be suffered to hold Winterfell, and the Ned’s girl must be rescued from the clutches of his bastard. So said Morgan Liddle, Brandon Norrey, Big Bucket Wull, the Flints, even the She-Bear.

...

“Ned’s girl,” said Morgan Liddle. He was the second of three sons, so the other wolves called him Middle Liddle, though not often in his hearing.

...

“Ned’s girl,” echoed Big Bucket Wull. “And we should have had her and the castle both if you prancing southron jackanapes didn’t piss your satin breeches at a little snow.”

...

“Winter is almost upon us, boy. And winter is death. I would sooner my men die fighting for the Ned’s little girl than alone and hungry in the snow, weeping tears that freeze upon their cheeks.”...

— ADWD, The King’s Prize

[throwawaydracula]

The reaction to Stoker transcribing accents/dialects is just so fascinating to me because it's really not that uncommon in older English language pop fiction. Here's a bit of The Pickwick Papers, by Charles Dickens.

‘Wery glad to hear it,’ said Mr. Weller. ‘Poetry’s unnat’ral; no man ever talked poetry ‘cept a beadle on boxin’-day, or Warren’s blackin’, or Rowland’s oil, or some of them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy. Begin agin, Sammy.’

If you're wondering what the hell kind of English accent does that v/w shift, the answer is 1830s Cockney, although apparently Dickens did miss the mark himself just a bit. George Bernard Shaw had this to say about it:

“When I came to London in 1876, the Sam Weller dialect had passed away so completely that I should have given it up as a literary fiction if I had not discovered it surviving in a Middlesex village, and heard of it from an Essex one.”

Shaw also cited James Elphinstone's translation of Martial into the phonetic Cockney of the late 1780s:

Ve have at length resoom’d our place, And can, vith doo distinction, set; Nor ve, the great and wulgar met. Ve dooly can behould the play, Sence ve in no confusion lay.

Note here Elphinstone's convention of rendering 'u' with a double 'o', which Stoker also uses. Going back to Shaw, one of the more amusing notes in the play Pygmalion is attached to Eliza Doolittle's opening line:

THE FLOWER GIRL. Ow, eez ye-ooa san, is e? Wal, fewd dan y’ de-ooty bawmz a mather should, eed now bettern to spawl a pore gel’s flahrzn than ran awy atbaht pyin. Will ye-oo py me f’them? [Here, with apologies, this desperate attempt to represent her dialect without a phonetic alphabet must be abandoned as unintelligible outside London.]

I concede that Stoker leans harder into this attempt at capturing Cockney than he needs to; yes, Thomas Bilder's accent comes across a bit cartoony. Dickens didn't lean quite as hard, and Shaw just gave up after giving an example. It just wasn't particularly beyond the pale. I mean, look at this bit of 17th century West Country dialect from Lorna Doone, published about ten years before Dracula:

“I wor over to Exeford in the morning,” John began from the chimney-corner, looking straight at Annie; “for to zee a little calve, Jan, as us cuddn't get thee to lave houze about. Meesus have got a quare vancy vor un, from wutt her have heer'd of the brade. Now zit quite, wull 'e Miss Luzzie, or a 'wunt goo on no vurder. Vaine little tayl I'll tull' ee, if so be thee zits quite. Wull, as I coom down the hill, I zeed a saight of volks astapping of the ro-udwai. Arl on 'em wi' girt goons, or two men out of dree wi' 'em. Rackon there wor dree score on 'em, tak smarl and beg togather laike; latt aloun the women and chillers; zum on em wi' matches blowing, tothers wi' flint-lacks. 'Wutt be up now?' I says to Bill Blacksmith, as had knowledge of me: 'be the King acoomin? If her be, do 'ee want to shutt 'un?'

Note that R. D. Blackmore was dead serious about capturing this dialect. He did intensive, painstaking research. The point was not to mock these characters, it was to try to capture, through language choices, a spirit and mood particular to a time and place. It matters who has this dialect and who doesn't in the narrative. While Stoker didn't have such lofty ambitions, don't think the point is to mock either. I think it's Stoker trying to do the old 'capturing local colour' thing. He wasn't alone in that. Off the top of my head, Sholem Aleichem transcribed a Jewish German's accent phonetically in some story whose title escapes me in order to differentiate him from the Eastern European Jewish characters with whom he identified. I've seen people hammer Brian Jacques (a much more modern writer) for the same thing Stoker's doing, and I guess it's just been normalized for me. Do know if you go on reading fiction from the place and period-- especially pop fiction not intended as high art, like Dracula-- you will encounter more of this kind of thing. It was a convention. Conventions come and go.

[aemontargaryen-bloodraven]

Rhaegar Targaryen || Jon Snow (1/2)

Political Maneuvering to overthrow the ruling King: Aerys Targaryen

If this tale be believed, 'twas Prince Rhaegar who urged Lord Walter to hold the tourney, using his lordship's brother Ser Oswell as a gobetween. Rhaegar provided Whent with gold sufficient for splendid prizes in order to bring as many lords and knights to Harrenhal as possible. The prince, it is said, had no interest in the tourney as a tourney; his intent was to gather the great lords of the realm together in what amounted to an informal Great Council, in order to discuss ways and means of dealing with the madness of his father, King Aerys II, possibly by means of a regency or a forced abdication.

Jon Snow

Political Maneuvering to overthrow the ruling House: House Bolton "Your Grace, I know where you might find more men. Give me the wildlings, and I will gladly tell you where and how."

He turned to find Clydas standing beneath the broken archway, a parchment in his hand. “From Stannis?” Jon had been hoping for some word from the king. The Night’s Watch took no part, he knew, and it should not matter to him which king emerged triumphant. Somehow it did. …Stannis had taken Deepwood Motte, and the mountain clans had joined him. Flint, Norrey, Wull, Liddle, all…. The Night’s Watch was sworn to take no side in the quarrels and conflicts of the realm. Nonetheless, Jon Snow could not help but feel a certain satisfaction.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Heir to King when House Targaryen had almost come to an end, Viserys was too young: Aerys Targaryen

The new king had already provided the realm with an heir in the person of his son Rhaegar, born amongst the flames of Summerhall. Aerys and his queen, his sister Rhaella, were young, and it was anticipated that they would have many more children. This was a vital question at the time, for the tragedies of Aegon the Unlikely's reign had trimmed the noble tree of House Targaryen down to just a pair of lonely branches.

Jon Snow

Heir to King when House Stark had almost come to an end (in the eyes of the world), Rickon is too young: Robb Stark

"So you pray. Have you considered your sisters? What of their rights? I agree that the north must not be permitted to pass to the Imp, but what of Arya? By law, she comes after Sansa . . . your own sister, trueborn . . ."

". . . and dead. No one has seen or heard of Arya since they cut Father's head off. Why do you lie to yourself? Arya's gone, the same as Bran and Rickon, and they'll kill Sansa too once the dwarf gets a child from her. Jon is the only brother that remains to me. Should I die without issue, I want him to succeed me as King in the North.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Maester Aemon: Mentor

"He (Rhaegar) shared my belief when he was young, but later he became persuaded that it was his own son who fulfilled the prophecy, for a comet had been seen above King’s Landing on the night Aegon was conceived, and Rhaegar was certain the bleeding star had to be a comet. What fools we were, who thought ourselves so wise!”

Jon Snow

Measter Aemon: Mentor

"Kill the boy and let the man be born. You are half the age that Egg was, and your own burden is a crueler one, I fear. You will have little joy of your command, but I think you have the strength in you to do the things that must be done. Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Winter is almost upon us. Kill the boy and let the man be born."

" Knowledge is a weapon, Jon. Arm yourself well before you ride forth to battle."

Rhaegar Targaryen

Black Heart

“Rhaegar won, damn him. I killed him, Ned, I drove the spike right through that black armor into his black heart, and he died at my feet. They made up songs about it.”

Jon Snow

Black Heart

Once a man had said the words his blood was black. Black as a bastard’s heart.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Thought to be the Prince who was Promised: Prophecy

“No one ever looked for a girl,” he said. “It was a prince that was promised, not a princess. Rhaegar, I thought… the smoke was from the fire that devoured Summerhall on the day of his birth, the salt from the tears shed for those who died.

Jon Snow

Indicated to be the Prince who was Promised: Prophecy

I pray for a glimpse of Azor Ahai, and R'hllor shows me only Snow.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Nature: Brooding

"Not sour, no, but … there was a melancholy to Prince Rhaegar, a sense …” The old man hesitated again.

Jon Snow

Nature: Brooding

Lord Stark’s sullen bastard had known Jeyne Poole, and he had always been fond of his little half-sister Arya.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Shadow of Birth: Summerhall

He was born in grief, my queen, and that shadow hung over him all his days.

Jon Snow

Shadow of Birth: Bastardy

Even his own mother had not had a place for him. The thought of her made him sad. He wondered who she had been, what she had looked like, why his father had left her. Because she was a whore or an adulteress, fool. Something dark and dishonorable, or else why was Lord Eddard too ashamed to speak of her?

Rhaegar Targaryen

Only a Stark girl brought him Joy: Lyanna Stark

“But I am not certain it was in Rhaegar to be happy.”

"It was said that Rhaegar had named that place the tower of joy."

Jon Snow

Only a Stark girl could make him smile: Arya Stark

Arya never seemed to fit, no more than he had… yet she could always make Jon smile.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Dark Eyes: Dark Purple

His silvery hair was blowing in the wind, and his eyes were a deep purple, darker than this boy’s.

Jon Snow

Dark Eyes: Dark Grey

Jon’s eyes were a grey so dark they seemed almost black, but there was little they did not see.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Loyal Lords/Knights wanted him/considered him as the King.

If he had not gone into Duskendale to rescue Aerys from Lord Darklyn's dungeons, the king might well have died there as Tywin Lannister sacked the town. Then Prince Rhaegar would have ascended the Iron Throne, mayhaps to heal the realm.

On the morning after the battle, the crows had feasted on victors and vanquished alike, as once they had feasted on Rhaegar Targaryen after the Trident. How much can a crown be worth, when a crow can dine upon on king?

Jon Snow

Loyal Lords and Wildlings want him/consider him as the King or their Leader.

Edmure and the Greatjon are prisoners, true… but you are forgetting  the envoys that Robb sent to Howland Reed… Galbart Glover, Maege  Mormont, Jason Mallister…(all witnesses to Robb's Will) they are all alive and free.

As to what is and is not moot… the key point is, only a =king= can legitimize a bastard……

GRRM SSM, August 06, 2000

"Tormund has given me his oath. He will serve with us until the spring. The Weeper and their other captains will swear the same or we will not let them pass."

None knelt, but many gave him their oaths. "What Tormund swore, I swear," declared black-haired Brogg, a man of few words. Soren Shieldbreaker bowed his head an inch and growled, "Soren's axe is yours, Jon Snow, if ever you have need of such." Red-bearded Gerrick Kingsblood brought three daughters. "They will make fine wives, and give their husbands strong sons of royal blood," he boasted. "Like their father, they are descended from Raymun Redbeard, who was King-Beyond-the-Wall."

Rhaegar Targaryen

Black Armour

Yet when the jousting began, the day belonged to Rhaegar Targaryen. The crown prince wore the armor he would die in: gleaming black plate with the three-headed dragon of his House wrought in rubies on the breast.

Jon Snow

Black Armour

“The next time I see you, you’ll be all in black.” Jon forced himself to smile back. “It was always my color. How long do you think it will be?”

“Snow,” an eagle cried, as foemen scuttled up the ice like spiders. Jon was armored in black ice, but his blade burned red in his fist.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Body

It was not the first time the queen had made note of Waters, a lean young man with grey-green eyes and long silver-gold hair. The first time she had seen him, for half a heartbeat she had almost thought Rhaegar Targaryen had returned from the ashes.

Jon Snow

Body

Jon was slender where Robb was muscular, dark where Robb was fair, graceful and quick where his brother was strong and fast.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Lyanna Stark and Robert Baratheon (Unwanted Betrothal)

"Not ten leagues from Harrenhal, Rhaegar fell upon Lyanna Stark of Winterfell, and carried her off,"

Jon Snow

Arya Stark and Ramsay Bolton (Unwanted Marriage)

That did not make them easier to say. His fingers closed around the parchment. Would that they could crush Ramsay Bolton's throat as easily.

He thought of Arya, her hair as tangled as a bird’s nest. I made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell… I want my bride back… I want my bride back… I want my bride back…

Rhaegar Targaryen

Breaks vows for a Stark Girl: Marriage

Prince Rhaegar loved his Lady Lyanna, and thousands died for it.

Jon Snow

Breaks vows for a Stark Girl: Night’s Watch

"I think we had best change the plan," Jon Snow said.

I have my swords, thought Jon Snow, and we are coming for you, Bastard.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Loyal men who marched with him and believed in him: Trident

"When your brother Rhaegar led his army into battle at the Trident, men died for him because they believed in him, because they loved him..."

Jon Snow

Loyal men who marched with him and believed in him: Winterfell

"The Night’s Watch will make for Hardhome. I ride to Winterfell alone, unless…” Jon paused. “…is there any man here who will come stand with me?” The roar was all he could have hoped for, the tumult so loud that the two old shields tumbled from the walls. Soren Shieldbreaker was on his feet, the Wanderer as well. Toregg the Tall, Brogg, Harle the Huntsman and Harle the Handsome both, Ygon Oldfather, Blind Dos, even the Great Walrus.

Rhaegar Targaryen

Dies thinking about the Stark girl he loved: Lyanna Stark

Rhaegar was killed after giving Robert a serious wound. He would die with Lyanna's name on his lips.

Jon Snow

Dies thinking about the Stark girl he loved: Arya Stark

“Ghost,” he whispered. Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold …"

Part 2

[jackoshadows]

In the books:

Wex stole after the two, a woman and a boy. He must have stayed downwind, so the wolf would not catch his scent."

"He knows where they went," Lord Wyman said.

Davos understood. "You want the boy."

"Roose Bolton has Lord Eddard's daughter. To thwart him White Harbor must have Ned's son … and the direwolf. The wolf will prove the boy is who we say he is, should the Dreadfort attempt to deny him. That is my price, Lord Davos. Smuggle me back my liege lord, and I will take Stannis Baratheon as my king." - Davos, ADwD

GRRM interview:

He was asked where is Rickon and what will happen to him (a reader who forgot a part of ADWD it seems). GRRM said Rickon will appear in TWOW.

GRRM about Osha, SSM, Deeper than Swords: 26 Mar 2014 (its around the 56 min mark)

Q: Can you think of instances in seeing these portrayals, the actor’s take that gave you a new perspective?

GRRM: When Osha comes back in the books, it’s possible, I haven’t actually gotten to it yet that she will be influenced by what I’ve seen, that I will write a more interesting character.

Unicorns in TWoW, SSM: Neil DeGrasse Tyson's Startalk: 17 May 2019

Unicorns will appear in TWOW and GRRM will have a "unique" take on them

GRRM SSM,  8 Sept 2014

Q: Let us quote J. K. Rowling, queen of fantasy: “Fantasy has its own laws. Some things are prohibited. No sex near unicorns. ”

A: There are unicorns in my next book, and probably sex not far from unicorns. There's a lot of sex in "The Iron Throne" despite the dragons.

GRRM notes while writing season 4 of GOT, Vanity fair article:

Speaking of which: Martin leaves a little note for the producers when writing about Ramsay’s flesh-eating hounds, whom we see hunting down a girl for sport.

[N.B. A note for future reference. A season or two down the line Ramsay’s pack of wolfhounds are going to be sent against the Stark direwolves, so we should build up the dogs as much as possible in this and subsequent episodes]

This is the alignment of houses in the North:

Houses supporting the Boltons: Frey, Dustin and Ryswell. Manderly (Fake), Umber, Locke, Hornwood, Stout, Cerwyns, Tallharts, Slates  - all most probably not loyal to the Boltons

Northern houses with Stannis Baratheon, fighting to free Arya Stark: Mountain clans - Flints, Norreys, Wulls and Liddles, Glover, Mormont, Umber, Karstark (Fake)

Note: Manderly has promised that he will be leige lord to Stannis if Davos gets him Rickon. Many of Roose’s bannermen (Umber is seen talking to Manderly, Stout consults with Umber etc.) maybe aware of what Manderly is planning and know about Rickon Stark.

House Glover is also interesting. Sybelle Glover declares for Stannis after he defeats the Iron Born at Deepwood Motte. Robett Glover is plotting with Manderly at White Harbor with respect to Rickon.  Arya Stark helps free Robett Glover and other Northmen at Harrenhal. Galbart Glover is in the Neck with Robb’s decree legitimizing Jon Snow and naming him KITN.

This is the current weather in the North in ADwD:

“Lord Stannis is lost in the storm,” said Lady Dustin. “He’s leagues away, dead or dying. Let winter do its worst. A few more days and the snows will bury him and his army both.” - A ghost in Winterfell, ADwD

---

The first flakes came drifting down as the sun was setting in the west. By nightfall snow was coming down so heavily that the moon rose behind a white curtain, unseen. -  The Turncloak, ADwD

---

The yard was a white wilderness, full of half-heard sounds that echoed strangely amidst the storm.The icy trenches rose around them, knee high, then waist high, then higher than their heads.They were in the heart of Winterfell with the castle all around them, but no sign of it could be seen.They might have easily been lost amidst the Land of Always Winter,a thousand leagues beyond the Wall. - Theon, ADwD

---

Lord Bolton unrolled the parchment. “His host lies not three days’ ride from here, snowbound and starving, and I for one am tired of waiting on his pleasure.” - Theon, ADwD 

---

“The gods have turned against us,” old Lord Locke was heard to say in the Great Hall. “This is their wroth. A wind as cold as hell itself and snows that never end. We are cursed.” -  A Ghost in Winterfell, ADwD

---

By the ninth day of the storm, every camp saw the captains and commanders entering the king's tent wet and weary...and report their losses for the day.

The fifteenth day of the march came and went, and they had crossed less than half the distance.

On the twenty-sixth day...the last of the vegetables was consumed...On the thirty-second day, the last of the grain and fodder. - The Sacrifice, ADwD

---

Justin Massey looked up from his horsemeat. “The cold count last night reached eighty.” He pulled a piece of gristle from his teeth and flicked it to the nearest dog. “If we march, we will die by the hundreds.”

“We had eight hundred horses when we marched from Deepwood Motte. Last night the count was sixty-four.” That did not shock her. Almost all of their big destriers had failed, including Massey's own. Most of their palfreys were gone as well. Even the garrons of the northmen were faltering for want of fodder - The Sacrifice, ADwD

---

“Winter is almost upon us, boy. And winter is death. I would sooner my men die fighting for the Ned’s little girl than alone and hungry in the snow, weeping tears that freeze upon their cheeks.” - The King’s Prize, ADwD

---

We had expected to find the king at Winterfell. This same blizzard has engulfed the castle, alas. Beneath its walls we found Mors Umber with a troop of raw green boys, waiting for the king’s coming.” - The Sacrifice, ADwD

---

The snow was following heavily outside."Wind's from the south," Yarwick observed. It's blowing the snow right up against the Wall.See?

He was right.The switchback stair was buried almost to the first landing, Jon saw, and the wooden doors of the ice cells and storerooms had vanished behind a wall of white - Jon, ADwD

This is the state of things in the North before actual Winter hits, which happens at the end of ADwD. Winter is not coming anymore, it is here in the books. This is Arya warging Nymeria in the Riverlands:

Her nights were lit by distant stars and the shimmer of moonlight on snow, but every dawn she woke to darkness. 

------

"What three new things do you know, that you did not know before?"

"I know that some men are saying that Tormo Fregar will surely be the new sealord," she answered. "Some drunken men."

"Better. And what else do you know?"

It is snowing in the riverlands, in Westeros, she almost said. - The Blind Girl, ADwD

---

The castle dominated the broad fertile valley that maps and men alike called Blackwood Vale. A vale it was, beyond a doubt, but no wood had grown here for several thousand years, be it black or brown or green. Once, yes, but axes had long since cleared the trees away. Homes and mills and holdfasts had risen where once the oaks stood tall. The ground was bare and muddy, and dotted here and there with drifts of melting snow. - Jaime, ADwD

And finally KL:

"On the window seat a raven loitered, pale, huge, its feathers ruffled. It was the largest raven that Kevan Lannister had ever seen. Larger than any hunting hawk at Casterly Rock, larger than the largest owl. Blowing snow danced around it, and the moon painted it silver.

Not silver. White. The bird is white.

The white ravens of the Citadel did not carry messages, as their dark cousins did. When they went forth from Oldtown, it was for one purpose only: to herald a change of seasons.

"Winter," said Ser Kevan. The word made a white mist in the air. - epilogue, ADwD

Just a reminder that Rickon Stark and his direwolf are important and will be important in TWoW. One of the richest and most powerful houses in the North is backing Rickon Stark as Lord of Winterfell. Without Bran there, Rickon is the rightful heir to the North. Other Northerners in play include the Mountain clans marching for Arya Stark and the folks who know of and have Robb’s decree. And various Northern houses and clans are doing their own plotting to put a Stark in Winterfell.

Also a reminder that Stannis is stranded in a snow storm 3 days from Winterfell.

Marching from the Vale all the way to Winterfell in these harsh snowstorms,  with a Vale army - who have no experience with the harsh conditions of the North - is near impossible.

Davos, Rickon, Shaggydog and Osha are certainly going to get to WF faster than Sansa and an army. Rickon has an actual Direwolf - the symbol of house Stark. House Stark follows male-preference primogeniture law of inheritance.

The Vale have their own problems brewing with winter here. Aegon has landed in the Stormlands, there is trouble in the Riverlands and KL is in chaos. Is the army going to abandon the Vale and go North in the harshest Winterstorms, experiencing huge loss of lives just to get Sansa to Winterfell?

The show is not the books. Nonsensical show plots don’t belong in the books. I will let just leave GRRM’s own words here:

In a convention panel this year, George said on the record that he had no idea what they were doing with Sansa or where they’re taking her storyline, which now makes sense perhaps.

[reginarubie]

sneak peek of next chapter of «Like wolves in the darkness»

What will happen now, Jon and Sansa are reunited and phase II of the fic is about to start.

Jon observed each and everyone of them, Satin, sat on the side curved over the wood board flinched, his pen wavered above the parchment where he was transcripting everything they were going through during the council.

“Of course, Your Grace” lord Cerwin went on “none of us wishes to see lady Sansa married to the Hardying boy” he stated “and of course her hand cannot be granted to someone external, unless Your Grace means to push her down the line to the crown” he pointed out.

“Giving her in marriage to the Arryn boy,” lord Glover stood up “would guarantee us the support of the knights of the Vale,” he said “as long as Your Grace marries and sires children, we could catch two birds with one stone” he commented.

Hugo Wull slammed his fists over his tight “That girl is Ned Stark’s little girl,” he snapped “she’s not yet returned home and we’re already thinking of giving her off in marriage!”

Jon could hardly disagree with the man.

“Of course we are,” lord Glover replied “after all his Grace has ascended due the will of late King Robb’s,” he commented “lady Sansa represents a… particularity in this matter. We should forward her hand to win us allies”

“Aye”

“Aye”

“I’d rather not see the girl beyond the Neck,” lord Hornwood commented “I say, she’s of the North, let’s keep her in the North. Give her to a loyal House, they will be forever ingratiated with you” he said “there are many young lords in search of a wife,” he added “lady Sansa would be a suitable prospect if any of them, and they would treasure her more than..”

Ghost, who had been pacing behind the lords, half canalised by his own growing fury at these talks, padded toward Jon, silent as a spectre, grazing the men’s heads as he passed them by. Most men had seen Grey Wind at least a couple of times, but Robb kept him leashed, not free to roam the camp, and he had been younger, less big if not less menacing. Jon instead let Ghost free to roam the camp, the direwolf was an extension of himself and the lords had seen firsthand in battle and during hunts how they moved like one. How the brutality and animalistic fury of one lingered in the other and reverse.

Cries of “Aye” were broken as the direwolf stalked closer.

They were always on edge was Ghost was near.

The direwolf padded to him, curled his body around his seat and sat down, resting his mammoth head over his frontal paws, his blood red eyes fixed on their audience, his fangs bared just enough to make the impression of the fury lingering just beneath Jon’s calm exterior.

Jon burrowed his hand in his white fur, letting the direwolf’ senses overflow his own, feeling the smell around him — they were anxious bordering scared, they were on edge and clearly in discomfort — good, he thought, let them know they are not in control here.

“Your Grace truly should consider marrying her to a suitable lord for her,” lord Cerwin tried “if you are not amenable for an alliance, at least to secure the support of northern Houses; thus resolving also the..”

“What?,” Jon demanded interrupting him “the matter of succession?” he asked “there is no matter of succession. Sansa is lord Eddard Stark eldest true born surviving child,” he stated “she’s the Lady of Winterfell and princess in the North. She is my heir. There is no matter of succession” he pointed out.

Lord Robett, who was scarcely more diplomatic than his older brother, but knew often which words use to sweeten the morsel took the word then “And this makes you honour, Your Grace,” he stated “but if you do not resolve the matter of lady Sansa’ hand, one day she could be forced to marry someone who could press forth her claim against you” he said competently “it would be foolish not to consider this prospect”

“You don’t understand, my lords” he said “that if my sister was to press her claim she’d have no resistance from me,” he stated.

“And that brings you honour, but letting her go around unbetrothed, it leaves too much room to your enemies to find a way to find a crack to your claim” lord Cerwin stated “and you would do lady Sansa a disservice as it is your duty as the Head of House Stark to…”

Jon snarled, effectively shutting lord Cerwin up, his lip curling over his teeth and he blinked slowly, Ghost rose his head and bared his fangs “Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough, my lords” he commented “my sister’s hand, her body and heart, her birthright are not to be sold to the highest bidder,” he stated, he leaned forward just enough as to resemble a tense, ready to pounce beast “or you’ll find, my lords, that man to be me”

[jedimaesteryoda]

How do we approach the study of Muad'Dib's father? A man of surpassing warmth and surprising coldness was the Duke Leto Atreides. Yet, many facts open the way to this Duke: his abiding love for his Bene Gesserit lady; 

"Ned! Ah, but it is good to see that frozen face of yours."

“This is not Ned, this is not the man I loved, the father of my children. His hands were clasped together over his chest, skeletal fingers curled about the hilt of some longsword, but they were not Ned's hands, so strong and full of life . . . nothing remained of the warm flesh that had pillowed her head so many nights, the arms that had held her.”

the dreams he held for his son; 

"‘… let them grow up close as brothers, with only love between them,’ he prayed”

the devotion with which men served him. 

"Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK.”

“’This march was madness. More dying every day, and for what? Some girl?’ ‘Ned's girl,’ said Morgan Liddle . . .  ‘Ned's girl,’ echoed Big Bucket Wull."

You see him there--a man snared by Destiny, a lonely figure with his light dimmed behind the glory of his son. Still, one must ask: What is the son but an extension of the father?

-from "Muad'Dib, Family Commentaries" by the Princess Irulan

-Dark hair, grey eyes. Check. 

-An even-handed and compassionate ruler. Check.

-Father figure to the hero(es). Check.

- Taken from his home on the orders of the reigning monarch to oversee a domain only to be murdered by his treacherous foes with a golden lion sigil. Check.