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fannish-karmiya · 3 years ago

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Is Wei Wuxian's Cultivation Actually Harmful to Him?

Throughout Wei Wuxian’s first life, he frequently argues with Lan Wangji over his cultivation. Lan Wangji believes that his cultivation will harm him and eventually destroy him, while Wei Wuxian insists that he has everything under control. Many readers take Lan Wangji’s warnings at face value, leading to the common fandom perception that demonic cultivation (more accurately, the ghost path) is inherently harmful to Wei Wuxian and that he should indeed give it up.

But does the text actually back that up, when we examine Wei Wuxian’s use of his cultivation? While Wei Wuxian does experience a few losses of control, I would argue that they are far more due to circumstances than anything else, and not a sign that the cultivating with resentful energy is inherently harmful to a cultivator’s body or that loss of control is an inevitable conclusion.

Preconceptions

Lan Wangji is the character who most often tries to tell Wei Wuxian that his cultivation is harmful. Immediately when Wei Wuxian returns from the Burial Mounds and meets Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji again while torturing Wen Chao, Lan Wangji expresses concern:

One against two, Lan WangJi still refused to back off. He gazed at Wei WuXian, “Wei Ying, for cultivating an evil path you would eventually have to pay. Throughout time, there has not been a single exception.”

Wei WuXian, “I can pay.”

Seeing how unconcerned he seemed to be, Lan WangJi lowered his voice, “The path would not only damage your body, but your heart as well.”

(Chapter 62, Exiled Rebels translation)

Now, Wei Wuxian’s path (guidao, the ghost path) is brand new. He invented it, being the first person to ever successfully cultivate using yuanqi, or the resentful energy of dead humans. So why does Lan Wangji speak so assuredly of the harm it can cause?

The term ‘cultivating an evil path’ is telling. Wei Wuxian’s cultivation is a new path, but there are other dark paths of cultivation which exist. The Nie sect’s sabres are an example; they absorb the killing intent and evil energy of the yao and guai they kill, and over time their sabres become more and more powerful but also lead the wielder closer and closer to an inevitable qi deviation.

Of course, Lan Wangji is not aware of the Nie sect’s technique, which is a strictly kept secret, at this point. Nie Mingjue only seems to have told Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao because they were his sworn brothers. But there are surely other paths like this which are publicly known.

We know about other dark rituals which are not part of Wei Wuxian’s ghost path, after all, and ‘backlash’ is a frequent risk, either due to making the user vulnerable or failing to fulfil the contract one agreed to.

The body sacrificing ritual which Mo Xuanyu uses, for example, will cause backlash if you fail to keep up your end of the deal.

It was an ancient, forbidden technique. Compared to an array, it resembled a curse more. The caster of the array injures themselves by creating incisions on their body, and draws the array and writes the incantations using their own blood, finishing by sitting in the center of the array. They can then summon an extremely villainous ghoul and ask for it to complete their wish. The price to pay was to offer their body to the evil spirit, with their own soul returning back to Earth.

This was the forbidden technique opposite to stealing another’s body—offering one’s body.

[...]

The difficult part was that, as soon as the evil spirit has taken over the body of the caster, the contract is sealed by default. The evil spirit must grant their wish, or else the curse will cause a backlash. The spirit in possession of the body will be completely annihilated, never to be born again!

(Chapter 2, Exiled Rebels translation)

Interestingly, the harm here is to the ‘evil spirit’ if they fail to keep up their end of the contract. Well, also the caster who gives up his or her life in exchange. At any rate, this sort of thing seems to be a frequent risk of dark cultivation techniques. The paperman technique is also quite risky:

The good thing was that Wei WuXian had once learnt a certain technique of the dark arts—the paper metamorphosis.

Although it was indeed useful, it had a number of restrictions as well. Not only was the time strictly limited, the paperman must also return as it were, after it had been released. There mustn’t even be a single scratch on it. If, on its way, it was torn apart or broken in any way, the soul would receive the same degree of harm—from a year of unconsciousness to a whole lifetime of lunacy. Thus, one must be extremely careful.

(Chapter 47, Exiled Rebels translation)

This seems to be a frequent concern with any dark technique, which probably is what led Lan Wangji to believe that Wei Wuxian’s new path would be similarly dangerous. It’s also very worth noting that he grew up in Gusu Lan, which is known for being even more judgmental towards dark cultivation than other sects.

He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.”

Jiang Cheng stared at Lan WangJi, cautious, “Second Young Master Lan, all of us understand the Lan Sect’s ways.

[...]

Wei WuXian had been angered as well, “Lan WangJi! Do you really have to make this difficult at such a point in time? You want me to go to the Cloud Recesses for the GusuLan Sect’s confinement punishment? Who do you think you are, what do you think the GusuLan Sect is?! You really think that I won’t resist?!”

(Chapter 62, Exiled Rebels translation)

While many people speak negatively of Wei Wuxian’s cultivation path, Lan Qiren is particularly virulent when Wei Wuxian first proposes the theory as a teen:

Everyone in the room was stunned. Lan QiRen sprang to his feet, “The essence of exorcising demons and annihilating ghosts is to liberate! You do not study the methods of liberation, and even think about increasing their energy of resentment! You reverse the natural order, and ignore ethics and morality!”

[...]

Another book came flying from Lan QiRen. He spoke harshly, “Then, let me ask you again! How do you make sure that the resentful energy only listens to you and does not harm others?”

Wei WuXian ducked while speaking, “I haven’t thought of it yet!”

Lan QiRen raged, “If you thought of it, the cultivation world would not allow your existence! Get out!”

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

Due to their father’s seclusion and their mother’s imprisonment, Lan Wangji and his brother were raised by Lan Qiren. With his uncle having such a black and white view of such matters, it’s understandable that Lan Wangji would absorb that and struggle to reconcile the Wei Wuxian he knows and loves with the man who is cultivating an ‘evil’ path.

With his own sect and family so negatively inclined towards Wei Wuxian’s cultivation, I think Lan Wangji was primed to see every behaviour of Wei Wuxian’s through this lens. Similarly, the audience hears the younger Lan Wangji repeat these warnings so many times that I think many readers wind up believing him, too.

Confirmation Bias

However, I think much of this is actually a case of confirmation bias. Lan Wangji is predisposed to see Wei Wuxian’s cultivation as harmful, and is actively looking for signs that it is; he winds up correlating all sorts of things to Wei Wuxian’s cultivation as a result.

He does so when he visits Wei Wuxian in Yunmeng:

Lan WangJi, “Last time, during the hunt on Phoenix Mountain, have you noticed certain signs?”

Wei WuXian, “What signs?”

Lan WangJi, “The loss of control.”

Wei WuXian, “You mean me almost getting into a fight with Jin ZiXuan? I think you got something wrong. I want to fight with Jin ZiXuan whenever I see him.”

(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)

Which is true! Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixuan just do not get on at all. And if we go back to Phoenix Mountain, it’s clear that this was a perfectly ordinary fight:

However, Jiang YanLi didn’t turn around. Jin ZiXuan was even more enraged. He caught up to her in just three strides and was about to grab her hand when a shadow suddenly flashed before his eyes. Before he could see who it was, he received a blow on his chest. Jin ZiXuan swung his sword across and backed away.

When he finally could see, he raged, “Wei WuXian, why is it you again?!”

Wei WuXian blocked Jiang YanLi behind him, raging as well, “I haven’t fucking said it yet—why is it you again?!”

Jin ZiXuan, “Attacking because of nothing have you gone mad?!”

Wei WuXian struck with his palm, “That’s exactly what I’m doing! What do you mean because of nothing? What are you doing trying to grab my shijie just because of how ashamed you are?!”

Jin ZiXuan dodged to the side and returned to him a sword attack, “If I don’t grab her should I let her walk randomly around the mountain alone?!”

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jin Zixuan is described as being ‘enraged’ and tries to grab Jiang Yanli. He’s clearly being very hotheaded here himself. What brother wouldn’t be enraged after this, especially given Jin Zixuan’s pattern of speaking of Jiang Yanli derisively?

Earlier, Lan Wangji had forcibly kissed Wei Wuxian while he was blindfolded, and yet he didn’t display any loss of control or temper problems then.

(I also think this ties into how people tend to judge Wei Wuxian more harshly due to his lower social class; he’s often no more brash and arrogant than his peers, but because he’s the son of a servant only he is judged for it. Look at Jin Zixuan pulling his sword on a man who no longer carries a sword! He isn’t criticised for that. But I digress.)

Lan Wangji also believes that Wei Wuxian’s cultivation is doing him spiritual harm, using evidence such as Wei Wuxian’s unwillingness to carry his sword or receive spiritual energy to help him heal:

Suddenly, he felt an itch at his throat. Blood began to rise up his chest. Trying to restrain it, Wei WuXian coughed a couple of times. Seeing that Lan WangJi was going to grab his hand again, Wei WuXian dodged, “What are you doing?”

Lan WangJi, “Your injuries.”

Wei WuXian, “No need. Why use spiritual energy for such a small wound? It’ll get better after some sitting around.”

Lan WangJi didn’t waste any words with him, grabbing for his hand again. At this point, two people came from outside of the cave. Wen Qing’s voice sounded, “Get better after some sitting around? Did you think I’m dead?”

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

He observes this back when he visited the Burial Mounds in the day, and many years later tells Wen Ning that this was the conclusion he drew:

Wen Ning turned around. He couldn’t help but ask, “Young Master Lan, you don’t seem too surprised about this. Did you… Did you know about this as well?”

“…” Lan WangJi managed, “I only knew that his spiritual powers were somehow impaired.”

But to think this was the truth.

(Chapter 89, Exiled Rebels translation)

Working with incomplete information (since he doesn’t know that Wei Wuxian has no golden core, he instead assumes that he is being harmed spiritually by his cultivation) and a pre-existing bias against demonic cultivation, Lan Wangji viewed Wei Wuxian as someone who was bound to lose control at some point, and everything became evidence to prove what he already believed.

Loss of Control

However, I think it’s arguable that the instances where Wei Wuxian loses control are not an inevitability of his cultivation path. Instead, they occur in extremely dangerous combat situations where Wei Wuxian has no allies and is being besieged by hundreds or thousands of enemies.

I want to go over three instances where things go sideways for Wei Wuxian with his cultivation in his first life: Wen Ning’s awakening, the ambush at Qiongqi Path, and the battle at Nightless City.

Now, I wouldn’t even describe Wen Ning’s revival as a loss of control. Wei Wuxian had spent months trying to revive Wen Ning, and in the end he wound up waking up while Wei Wuxian was down in Yiling, not at the Burial Mounds to keep the situation under control. It’s like an unwatched pot boiling over.

Wei WuXian, “Didn’t I say not to touch the talismans on him?!”

Wen Qing didn’t even have the spare seconds to be surprised that Lan WangJi was here. She answered, “Nobody touched them! Not a single person went into the Cave! He tore them off on his own when he suddenly went on a rampage. Not only the ones on himself, he destroyed the restriction seals at the blood pool and the Cave as well! All of the fierce corpses in the blood pool got out. Wei WuXian, go save Granny and the others. They won’t be able to hold up much longer!!!”

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

Honestly, it’s hard to know based on this what caused Wen Ning to wake up or to return to consciousness. My suspicion is that Wei Wuxian’s efforts had worked, and he woke up with a lot of excess resentful energy he needed to work off; hence going to beat up all the other fierce corpses in the Blood Pool.

After this, Wei Wuxian takes measures to ensure that Wen Ning doesn’t lose consciousness again. For the next year until the ambush at Qiongqi Path, there are absolutely no incidents, and Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian go on night hunts together frequently.

Things only go wrong during the ambush.

Wei WuXian laughed coldly, “You’re seeking your own death!”

As he finished, Wen Ning raised his hand and tore off the red string that hung a talisman at his neck.

After the string snapped, his body wavered, and the muscles on his face began to twist. Marks that resembled black cracks crawled up his neck to his cheeks. He suddenly lifted his head, letting out a long, inhuman roar!

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

So Wen Ning wears a talisman which presumably suppresses his resentful energy, and which he must remove in order to fight at full strength. After Jin Zixuan shows up and completely fails to de-escalate the situation at all, Wen Ning kills him:

Wei WuXian was suppressing a blazing flame of hatred. His voice was cold, “Jin ZiXuan, move away right now. I won’t touch you, but you’re not going to provoke me either.”

Seeing that he still refused to yield, Jin ZiXuan suddenly lunged forward, as if trying to hold him down, “Why can’t you just back off for once?! A-Li is still…”

Just as he reached toward Wei WuXian, he heard a strange, heavy noise.

The noise was almost a bit too near. Jin ZiXuan paused in surprise. He looked down and finally saw the hand that pierced his chest.

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s pretty clear that Wen Ning saw Jin Zixuan lunging towards Wei Wuxian and interpreted him as a threat. As objective observers, we can see that this is actually quite understandable, if tragic, and realistically could have happened similarly in a mundane setting with no magic. But Wei Wuxian of course would start to feel doubt when something so terrible happens:

He was clearly controlling Wen Ning properly.

Even though he activated Wen Ning’s rampage mode, he should still be able to control him.

He’d clearly always been able to control him perfectly.

He didn’t want to kill Jin ZiXuan at all.

He never had the intention to kill Jin ZiXuan at all! It was just that moment. He didn’t know why, but all of a sudden he wasn’t able to control it… He had suddenly lost control!

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

Wei Wuxian had always been able to control Wen Ning perfectly before. Honestly, it’s not a surprise that his control was looser in a situation like this; he’s in the midst of an ambush where 300 people are trying to kill him! Realistically, Jin Zixuan bears some responsibility in his own death, too. When you’re trying to negotiate a ceasefire, you don’t fail to give the target of the attack any assurance of his safety and then lunge for him threateningly! Of course Wen Ning saw him as a threat and acted to defend Wei Wuxian.

Later, Wei Wuxian observes that during his ‘rampage’ state, Wen Ning draws his guidance from Wei Wuxian’s impressions of people:

Listening to him stutter as he apologized over and over again, all of a sudden, Wei WuXian felt extremely ridiculous.

It wasn’t Wen Ning’s fault at all.

It was his own fault.

When on a rampage, Wen Ning was nothing more than a weapon. The person who created the weapon was him. The things it listens to were his orders as well.

At that time, with all the tension and the killing intent on top of how Wei WuXian had never hesitated to show enmity toward Jin ZiXuan in front of Wen Ning, when he was unconscious, Wen Ning recognized Jin ZiXuan as an ‘enemy’ when he attacked, carrying out the order of ‘exterminate’ without a second thought.

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

I actually think that if Wen Ning had killed, say, Jin Zixun, Wei Wuxian would simply have seen it as a case of self-defence and accepted it as that. It’s the fact that Jin Zixuan is the husband of his foster sister (and the one person there he didn’t actually want dead) which turns this into such a tragedy.

The intensely stressful situation in the aftermath of Jin Zixuan’s death is the only time we ever see Wei Wuxian express doubt in his own abilities or regret choosing the ghost path:

With the child’s cries coming to his ears from afar and the scared siblings who were at a complete loss as to what to do in his eyes, Wei WuXian felt his heart sink lower into darkness. He asked himself, Just why have I been locking myself up on Burial Mound all these years? Why do I have to go through all this? Why did I choose to walk this path in the beginning? Why did I make myself like this? What do others see me as? Just what have I gained? Have I gone mad? Have I gone mad? Have I gone mad?!

If only he didn’t choose this path in the beginning.

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

I think that during this period, Wei Wuxian was under an immense amount of stress. He was the sole protector of 50 people who the world wanted dead, and he had to be strong and confident for them at all times. Only during his initial panic after Jin Zixuan’s death does that confident front break down and show us just how much the stress must have been wearing on him:

As he thought and thought about it, Wei WuXian suddenly broke into tears.

His voice was submerged in a deep helplessness, “… Can someone tell me… what I’m supposed to do now?”

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

I honestly think that if Wei Wuxian had had someone to lean on and share responsibility with during this time, it would have helped him so much.

In the past, there were only others who asked him what to do. Now, though, he was the one asking others what he should do, and nobody was able to give him an answer.

[...]

Wei WuXian raged, “You can shut the fuck up! It’s already pandemonium the way things are right now! You two can stop adding more trouble onto my platter. Give yourselves in my ass. Did I tell you to do this? Take it out!”

(Chapter 77, Exiled Rebels translation)

Later on, at Nightless City, Wei Wuxian’s loss of control is directly tied by the narrator to his worsening mental state:

The more Wei WuXian panicked, the less control he had. The corpse ignored his command and instead lifted the sword in its hand, slashing it down at Jiang YanLi!

Wei WuXian had lost it, dashing as he shouted, “Stop it, stop it, right now, stop it!”

(Chapter 78, Exiled Rebels translation)

He manages to calm himself down and get back under control:

Jiang YanLi sighed, “A-Xian, you… you should stop first. Don’t, don’t…”

Wei WuXian hurried, “Yes, I’ll stop.”

He took up Chenqing, placed it by his lips, and began to play. He only managed to steady his mind with great effort. This time, the corpses finally stopped ignoring his commands. One after another, strange gurgles echoed in their throats as if they were complaining. Slowly, they bent down.

(Chapter 78, Exiled Rebels translation)

Only when Jiang Yanli is killed by a cultivator aiming for Wei Wuxian does he decide, in his grief and rage, to put the Yinhufu together again:

Yet, no matter the criticism, the blame, Wei WuXian could no longer hear any of them. As if governed by another soul, he reached out and took two objects from within his sleeves. Before everyone’s eyes, he put them together. One half on top and the other below, the two objects snapped into one, letting out a resonating clang.

Wei WuXian placed it on his palm and raised it high into the air.

It was the Stygian Tiger Seal!

(Chapter 78, Exiled Rebels translation)

We know that after the Bloodbath of Nightless City, as this battle comes to be known, Lan Wangji takes Wei Wuxian back to Yiling. However, Wei Wuxian is in a very poor mental state (most likely due to stress, exhaustion, and trauma), and only regains awareness a few days later at the Burial Mounds.

This is when he decides that the Yinhufu is a weapon which he should never have created, and determines to destroy it.

After using it for the second time, he finally decided to destroy one half of the seal. Before he could completely destroy the other half, the siege at Luanzang Hill happened, and it had since then been beyond his capabilities.

(Chapter 30, Exiled Rebels translation)

So Wei Wuxian was actually able to successfully destroy one half of the seal, and start work on the second, in the three months between Nightless City and the First Siege.

Toward his own creation, Wei WuXian was confident to say that even if the sect that got hold of it, made a temple for it, and offered it incense every single day, the remaining half of the Tiger Seal was just a piece of scrap iron. However, Lan WangJi told him something shocking—it appeared that Xue Yang could rebuild the other half of the seal!

Although Xue Yang was young, he was also quite clever, a bizarre eccentric. The LanlingJin Sect discovered that he could use the remaining half of the seal to roughly piece together the other half. Even though the recreated version wasn’t as powerful and couldn’t be used for as long, it could already result in terrible catastrophes.

(Chapter 30, Exiled Rebels translation)

I gather that the first half, he completely neutralised. The second half had not been fully drained of power when the First Siege happened. We never see the First Siege, but I think we can hazard a guess that once the Wens were massacred, Wei Wuxian knew that it was all over, and decided to destroy the second half of the Yinhufu so that no one there could get their hands on it. It is likely the backlash from improperly destroying/neutralising the Yinhufu which led to his corpses turning on him and ripping him apart.

Wei Wuxian does confirm that some sort of backlash killed him:

Wen Ning whispered, “Sect Leader Jiang, Jiang Cheng, brought a siege upon the Burial Mounds. And he killed you.”

Wei WuXian, “I’ll have to clarify this one. He didn’t kill me. I died from a backfire.”

(Chapter 43, Exiled Rebels translation)

“That’s merely hearsay. Although Jiang Cheng was one of the main forces, he did not give Wei WuXian the final blow. Because he cultivates the Demon Path, Wei WuXian’s powers had backfired and he was ripped to pieces.”

“Hahahaha… That’s karma! The ghost soldiers that he created are like unleashed dogs, biting everyone that they come across. It serves him right to be chewed to death!”

(Chapter 1, Exiled Rebels translation)

While the vast majority of information in the prologue is revealed later to be lies, Wei Wuxian does confirm this. Strictly, the ‘ghost soldiers’ were probably his fierce corpses. ‘Ghost’ or ‘Gui’ is used in Modao Zushi’s magic system as a catch-all phrase for dead humans, whether they’re actual ghosts (incorporeal spirits) or reanimated corpses. We know that Wei Wuxian was using huge numbers of fierce corpses to act as guards at the entrance to the Burial Mounds and protect the Wens, after all.

Wei Wuxian’s Second Life

So the risk of backlash is confirmed as a threat when using guidao and other dark cultivation techniques. However, it seems that they either have a clear contract which has to be fulfilled (like in the body sacrifice ritual), or a clearly defined risk which can be mitigated or prevented entirely through careful use.

It’s notable that Wei Wuxian is in control of his cultivation far more often than not, and in his second life we see absolutely no losses of control from him. This is probably down to a few things, one of them being greater experience. He also is no longer working alone; Lan Wangji is nearly always at his side or very nearby, which removes the intense stress of trying to fight against the entire world alone.

Honestly, I can’t even pull up any instances of Wei Wuxian struggling to control his cultivation in his second life or being even mildly harmed by it; there are absolutely none. We only ever see him dealing with mundane exhaustion, stress, and physical injuries.

He recovers very quickly from performing Empathy with Nie Mingjue:

Hearing this, Wei WuXian instantly pulled himself out!

He was still the thin paperman, stuck to the helmet that sealed Nie MingJue’s head. He had tugged loose the knot that tied the iron shells over Nie MingJue’s eyes, revealing a bloodshot eye, opened wide with anger.

[...]

There wasn’t much time left. He must return to his corporal body immediately!

Paperman WuXian flapped his sleeves, flying out as though he were a butterfly.

[...]

A while later, once his soul had returned successfully, Wei WuXian immediately took a deep breath. He raised his head, opened his eyes, and suddenly stood up. Yet, having not expected his body to still be disoriented, he felt dizzy and leaned forward. Seeing this, Lan WangJi caught him in his arms. Wei WuXian lifted his head once more, and the top of his head collided with Lan WangJi’s chin. With a thud, both of them grunted in pain. Wei WuXian rubbed his head with one hand and felt Lan WangJi’s chin with the other, “Ugh! I’m sorry. Lan Zhan, you alright?”

His chin having been stroked a couple of times, Lan WangJi lightly took Wei WuXian’s hand away before shaking his head. Wei WuXian tugged him, “Let’s go!”

(Chapter 50, Exiled Rebels translation)

After this, he is stabbed by Jin Ling and winds up spending four days unconscious in Cloud Recesses. I’ve seen it suggested that his short bout of hallucinating after he wakes up is due to harm from his cultivation, but I firmly disagree. He’d been unconscious for four days after being stabbed!

He immediately let go, almost wanting to roll away. His movement was so large that it hurt the wound at his stomach. He exclaimed an ‘ah’ as he scrunched his brows, finally remembering that he was still injured. Amid the stars before his eyes, Jing Ling, Jiang Cheng, Jiang YanLi, Jiang FengMian, Madam Yu… Many faces spun around in a large circle.

[...]

Only having ensured that his injuries were indeed fine did Lan WangJi finally let him go, “Four days.”

Jin Ling’s sword stabbed right through. The wound hadn’t been shallow at all. How it healed within four days without even leaving a scar behind meant that high level medicine of the GusuLan Sect had to have been necessary. Wei WuXian thanked him, mocking himself along the way, “I’ve reincarnated but somehow I’ve become even weaker. I couldn’t keep going after just a single stab.”

(Chapter 63, Exiled Rebels translation)

After being a bit muddled upon first waking up, he’s fine. He was also dreaming about his past while unconscious, which is why he’s described as seeing all these faces ‘amid the stars before his eyes’. The flashbacks in Refinement and Poisons-Evil are both framed as Wei Wuxian sleeping and dreaming about the past, and he’s thinking about them as a result; he’s not portrayed as actually hallucinating and thinking they’re really there.

Wei Wuxian is very drained by the events of the Second Siege and faints twice afterwards. However, it’s worth noting that during the Second Siege, he didn’t really use resentful energy (he couldn’t, as all the corpses there were under the control of the Yinhufu); he used talismans, which only require a small amount of spiritual energy.

Wei Wuxian even specifically states that Mo Xuanyu’s body is very weak, refusing to use Suibian before the Second Siege:

He wore it by his waist and didn’t seem like he was going to use it. Seeing how Lan WangJi looked at him, he fiddled with his hair and explained, “I haven’t used a sword in so many years. I’m not used to it.” As he spoke, he sighed again, “Alright. The real reason is that my current body is low in spiritual energy. Even if there’s a high level sword, it won’t be able to make the best use of it. And so, it’ll be up to HanGuang-Jun to protect the delicate man that I am.”

(Chapter 68, Exiled Rebels translation)

Wei Wuxian collapses due to exhaustion on the boat ride to Lotus Pier:

OuYang ZiZhen, “HanGuang-Jun, why did Senior Wei collapse?”

Lan WangJi, “Fatigue.”

Lan JingYi was amazed, “I thought that Senior Wei would never get tired!”

(Chapter 84, Exiled Rebels translation)

He collapses again during the fight at the Jiang ancestral hall:

Lan WangJi, “Wei Ying?!” His low voice rang within Wei WuXian’s ears, echoing endlessly.

Wei WuXian was starting doubt if something happened to his ears, “What’s wrong?”

He felt something streak down his face, but reached up only to retrieve a handful of scarlet. Accompanied by throbs of dizziness, blood continued to drip down his nose and his mouth, onto the ground.

[...]

Having come to the conclusion that Wei WuXian was only in a temporary state of unconsciousness due to extreme fatigue and anger, Lan WangJi finally tore his gaze away.

(Chapter 88, Exiled Rebels translation)

When he wakes up in Chapter 90, he feels unwell but recovers fairly quickly:

For a long while, he couldn’t figure out what was happening. Only when he saw the splatters of blood on Lan WangJi’s left sleeve, like a string of plum blossoms resting on snow, did he finally recall what happened before he passed out from anger. His expression twisted at once as he suddenly sat upright. Lan WangJi went to help him, but the ringing in Wei WuXian’s ears hadn’t stopped yet.

[...]

Lan WangJi knew that he wasn’t feeling well. Silent, he didn’t ask anything. He lay one hand on his back, sending him a warm thread of spiritual energy.

[...]

Looking around, Wei WuXian suddenly exclaimed, “I’m hungry.”

Lan WangJi looked up. Of course, Wei WuXian wasn’t hungry at all. He had just eaten three pies at the vendor in front of Lotus Pier’s gates. Lan WangJi only ate one, however, and it was the only thing he’d eaten in the past two days. The matter was on Wei WuXian’s mind.

(Chapter 90, Exiled Rebels translation)

The narrative again directly links it to exhaustion, not to anything more ominous than that:

In the fight at Burial Mound, Wei WuXian exerted too much energy and stamina. Both his mind and his body were strained for too long. A few hours earlier, Jiang Cheng angered him so much that he almost bled from his qiqiao.

He only recovered after a long time of rest. Although he didn’t feel too bad right now, if there was something he missed and he pushed himself all the way to Lanling, it was hard to tell whether or not an accident would happen at a critical moment. On top of that, he wasn’t the only one straining his mind and body in the past few days. Lan WangJi didn’t rest for a second either.

(Chapter 91, Exiled Rebels translation)

As said, there simply isn’t any proof, based on Wei Wuxian’s second life, that his cultivation is doing him harm, nor does he ever lose control of it.

This definitely indicates to me that Wei Wuxian’s losses of control in his first life were related to the circumstances and not an inevitable risk of his cultivation path.

In Conclusion

I actually suspect that Lan Wangji himself came to the same conclusion; he only ever gently warns Wei Wuxian to be careful when using dark techniques during his second life:

Lan WangJi let the paperman wriggle on his ribbon for some time. Just as he reached out to take it down, the paperman slid its way down as fast as it could. No matter intentionally or not, it bumped its head once against his lips.

Lan WangJi’s movements paused for a moment. Using two of his fingers, he finally caught it, “Do not fool around.”

Softly, the paperman rolled its body over his slender finger.

Lan WangJi, “You must be careful.”

The paperman nodded and flapped its wings. Clinging flat onto the ground, it climbed through the door slit and snuck out of the guest room.

(Chapter 47, Exiled Rebels translation)

He still does have some level of distaste for Wei Wuxian’s cultivation path, I would argue, due to the way he instantly latches onto the idea that Wei Wuxian would never have turned to the ghost path if not for his lost golden core:

“…” Lan WangJi managed, “I only knew that his spiritual powers were somehow impaired.”

But to think this was the truth.

Wen Ning, “If not because of this…”

If not because there really wasn’t a second path to walk on.

(Chapter 89, Exiled Rebels translation)

But the discussion of Wei Wuxian’s feelings on his cultivation is one for another day.

At any rate, I doubt that Lan Wangji is only holding back his feelings on the ghost path due to wanting to avoid any more fights with Wei Wuxian. After all, he spent 13 years mourning him. If he still believed that Wei Wuxian’s cultivation was going to eventually kill him, I doubt he would accept it so much more readily now.

I think the lesson he learnt, after looking back and thinking on the past a great deal, was indeed that Wei Wuxian would not have suffered such losses of control if he had had anyone to rely on in his past life. So now Lan Wangji always stands by his side and ensures that he will never reach such a state of desperation again.

#meta #mdzs #mdzs meta #demonic cultivation #fandom essay

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animeomegas · 3 years ago

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Who are most likely to forgive their alpha for flirting with others and who would resent them for it? (Not seriously flirting, just always being charming and giving compliments to other omegas)

(Ooh, an interesting idea! Thanks for sending this is! <3)

Who is chill/happy with a flirty alpha:

1. Asmo – Of course he has no problems with it! Flirting with people is fun, after all, and he certainly didn’t stop flirting with random alphas after he got mated. Asmo would love a flirty alpha so much because it would make him feel less guilty for being himself and also, he really wants to try flirting with someone at the same time as his alpha. He wants to see how people react when faced with 2x the charm!

2. Simeon – He thinks that being charming and sweet to everyone is one of his alpha’s best qualities. Simeon views it as pure friendliness and he loves that his alpha takes the time to brighten other peoples’ days. Everyone knows that the best people to go to when you’re feeling down is Simeon and his alpha, who between them have a perfect balance of good advice, charming ego boosters and overwhelming charisma.

3. Sai – Being charming and nice to people is how one makes friends, so he thinks it’s perfectly normal. He tries similar strategies but somehow, they don’t have as high a success rate… Maybe he should take notes next time his alpha is making friends at a party or bar and try it like they do?

4. Zen – Hell yeah, his alpha has game! He is so attracted to the idea of being in a power couple, so an alpha who can more than hold their own socially is right up his alley. Together they can charm anyone and everyone! They can make anyone envious! Him and his alpha are truly an unstoppable couple, and he definitely takes this as a sign that you are soulmates.

5. Denki – Denki has so much love to give, so he assumes that his alpha is the same and that they choose to express love through charm and compliments. His alpha always makes people smile, and that makes Denki smile in turn. Bringing a little happiness wherever they go is something Denki admires about his alpha. And anyway, Denki is a sucker for joke flirting, so he can hardly criticise.

6. Hairo – He adores an alpha who gives lots of compliments to everyone because he does the same! There is nothing more rewarding than bringing out the best in someone by reminding them of their capabilities and good qualities in his opinion, so he’s thrilled that his alpha agrees with him on that. Going through a hard time? Go visit Hairo and his mate, they’ll fill you with motivation and confidence, free of charge.

7. Julian – He feels so proud whenever he watches his mate spit game whenever they go out. He watches from afar, arms crossed over his chest, a small smile on his face as you charm the bartender into giving you discounted drinks. Julian can be quite the flirt himself, so he is quite relieved that his alpha is the same and understands him in that way. He also finds it very hot when his alpha oozes charm. Julian is a flirt, but it all crumbles when someone calls his bluff, but you on the other hand? Always smooth and collected. It makes Julian more than a little hot around the collar.

Who despises a flirty alpha:

1. Levi – He is not the avatar of Envy for no reason. Levi is very insecure and very jealous. When his alpha gives compliments to other omegas, Levi takes it as a direct attack on his character and assumes that he doesn’t have whatever you’re praising and therefore you are inevitably going to leave him for this obviously superior person. He throws little tantrums whenever his alpha is too flirty with someone else and they always end in tears. Even an alpha who is just socially adept, not flirty, will make his jealously raise its head, because why would someone who can be so confident in public want to be with a shut-in, loser otaku like him?? He will eventually get over very innocent socialisation, but actual flirting is something he can never deal with.

2. Sasuke – He hates it. He always scoffs and rolls his eyes whenever his alpha is too friendly with someone else, making his displeasure known. He’s a jealous person by nature, most Uchiha are (they have stronger possessive instincts over mates in their clan), so this would make him surly and frustrated. If the flirting was too obvious and continuous, he would grow to doubt his partner’s fidelity, which is never a good sign for a relationship, so Sasuke’s alpha would need to tone it way down for him, or at least stick to flirting when Sasuke wasn’t there, but that might make him even more suspicious if he ever found out.

3. Neji – Neji feels humiliated if his alpha is flirting with others. How dare they make a show of flaunting themselves like they’re single?! He fumes with an angry and humiliated flush on his cheeks as his alpha flirts. He feels like everyone is judging him and his relationship when his alpha is too friendly with other omegas, after all, people must be thinking that he is doing a poor job of keeping his mate happy if they have to find other people to act like that with. He thinks it’s shameful to act that way when mated, and he will tell his alpha that. For the sake of their relationship, his alpha better cease that behaviour immediately.

4. Yoosung – He is another one who is very insecure. He gets pouty and upset when his alpha flirts and compliments other omegas because they should be complimenting him and giving him attention. He’s their mate, right? He doesn’t know how to manage these feelings and will either get drunk and cry, or follow his alpha everywhere and drape himself over them constantly to ward off other omegas. If it continues, he will take this flirting as a sign that he loves his alpha more than his alpha loves him. Yoosung is very in love with the idea of a fairy tale romance, and this definitely wasn’t part of the plan!

5. Bakugou – He gets angry to hide his conflicting feelings. On one hand, of course his alpha would be stupid to leave him, he’s the best! On the other hand, he’s a very non-traditional omega and while he loves who he is in many ways, that doesn’t mean that everyone else does, quite the contrary in fact. He confronts his alpha every time, shouting at them to just leave if they’re planning on cheating on him. Flirting with certain people (cough Midoryia cough) will make him very, very angry/upset. It’s best for his blood pressure if his alpha learns new ways of social interaction that don’t include flirting.

6. Kusuo – Kusuo is quite possessive, even if he won’t admit that to himself. He craves affection and attention from his alpha in a way he’s never felt before. He likes to spend time with his alpha alone, just the two of them, and that’s when he’s the happiest, so when other people appear to be getting in the way of that? Huh, the other person just remembered that they left the oven on and have to go home. What a coincidence. Whenever his alpha goes anywhere, Kusuo invites himself along, and this goes double if his alpha is flirty. They won’t be flirting with anyone, not of Kusuo’s watch.

7. Light – He’s too arrogant and possessive to deal with a flirty alpha. He’s the only one that should be receiving compliments and romantic attention from his alpha. They’re his, and only his. Light very much understands playing a perfect charismatic character in public, but his alpha always seems a little too genuine, a little too willing to flirt even when there’s nothing for them to gain from it. It makes him suspicious. It’s all or nothing. His alpha either commits fully to him, or he gets rid of them.

8. Jumin – That sort of behaviour is far too close to that of his father for him to be comfortable. He’s seen his father go through girlfriend after girlfriend, flirting with everyone and anyone, and it always ends badly. Jumin feels betrayed and shuts down before he can be hurt by a rejection. Cheating/flirting is too traumatic a topic for him to deal with on a daily basis. He appreciates an alpha that can be charming with his clients when it’s required, but any more than that will lead to serious trust issues. He promised himself that he would never turn into his father or allow someone to treat him like his father treats his conquests and he intends to keep that promise.

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amysteriousmessenger · 4 years ago

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‘How the warmth will melt the ice’ - GE Suit Saeran/Reader fic

Title: How the warmth will melt the ice Pairing: Post-canon GE Suit Saeran/Reader (mainly GN with two uses of she/her) Rating: SFW but references to his in-game actions Word Length: 3.4K Summary: post-GE Suit Saeran hasn't seen you in a while, he's been working on stuff in the headspace. One night, he's the only one awake and he's been doing some thinking while you sleep next to him in the bed. Soft, a bit of hurt/comfort. I'm not an expert on DID so please let me know if I've written or phrased something incorrectly!! <3

Saeran had been in the headspace for quite a while. It’s not that he wasn’t allowed out, he just wasn’t sure he trusted himself enough to ever come out, and most definitely not in the company of other people. He had seen how happy the ‘New’ Saeran had made you, how he treated you with such care and tenderness and considered your feelings above all else. Saeran didn’t trust himself not to ruin it for all of them, especially given his previous actions. They all held that behaviour against him and he was well aware of that, he held it against himself too. He was too angry at the world, and he hadn’t entirely processed that despite all of the time that he had been away. There had been many times where he had criticised Ray for being weak, yet Ray had already been out several times and Saeran never felt brave enough for it. It had also taken him a while to address that, yes, he was perhaps the weakest one out of them all. He never felt like he was ready to properly face his actions even after he had apologised. After all, he was reminded of it every time he saw you through their eyes. He was there every time they brought you food, every time they held your hand, or pulled you into their arms. He was there for all of it. So, sometimes saying ‘sorry’ just wasn’t enough.

He had tried to take over as the host on a few separate occasions while you were at work or out shopping, with the intention of just existing around the house for a little while, but it never worked out so well. He’d sit there for a few minutes, staring at his hands and at what they had done to you before beginning to resent himself even more. Saeran had seen how his hands could hold you with such sweetness and affection, and yet, when he was the one that controlled them they only seemed to inflict destruction upon people. He’d remember that and immediately let the ‘New’ Saeran take over the body, retreating back into his own self-enforced solitary confinement. You were never to know that he had appeared, he made sure that the others were aware of that. Even when you’d asked about him, if he was still in there, he had asked them to speak of him scarcely. He’d see you again in his own time, if he wanted to. He’d always try to ignore the sadness in your eyes when the others told you that, but he thought it was for the best; he’d only ruin the stupid happiness that you had stumbled your way into with the better parts of him.

The night he saw you again, Saeran was the only one awake when he felt you shudder. He blinked, staring at the ceiling for the first time in God knows how long. He hadn’t experienced the world in quite a while, so it took him a few seconds to gather his thoughts. His first reaction was to complain that he had been woken up at such a time, but he had been trying to work on not jumping to immediate anger when it wasn’t justified. He tried to process his surroundings one at time. He was in bed, next to you. It was dark, probably still night-time, and he could hear the cat downstairs running throughout the corridors. The room smelled faintly of lavender, and he knew that one of the others picked it regularly to help the both of you sleep. He felt you shift. He hadn’t seen you in so long, but even as you laid on the other side of the bed to him, he dared not tilt his head out of fear of waking you. The room was quiet aside from the sound of your breathing, but Saeran stared ahead, rigid. Why had he been the one to wake up? It was not as though there was anything happening that required him in particular, one of the others could have easily woken up instead of him. Someone who was needed.

Saeran moved his eyes to your sleeping form, his breath catching in his throat as you slowly rolled onto your back. He didn’t want to wake you up, but he could have laughed. You were never a graceful sleeper. You had your arms above your head with one leg sticking out from underneath the blanket. Perhaps that meant that you weren’t scared of a monster grabbing your ankle from underneath the bed during the night, maybe you had too much faith in the monster in the first place. He watched you for a few moments, his eyes following each subtle rise and fall of your sleeping chest and wondering how anyone could trust him enough to sleep next to him, to let their guard down so stupidly like that.

Of course, this wasn’t the first time he’d seen you sleeping, but it felt as though it was a lifetime ago that he was watching you through CCTV; something that he could never believe he was actually doing. Something lurched in his stomach at the intrusive memory and he began to spiral like he had done each time he was in control of the body, or thought he was in control of it, anyway. It hurt him, but he didn’t take his eyes off of you. While it wasn’t him providing it, you were happier now. Healthier. There was no one to take away your food or trap you behind closed doors. No one to scream that your eyes were ugly. It had taken him too long to realise that the only reason he thought your eyes was ugly was because he could see himself reflected back in them. He could see himself screaming the way his mother had screamed at him, screaming the same things.

Saeran didn’t know how the others had managed to process everything so quickly, although he guessed that the fact that he was adamant about doing it in silence, refusing the therapists help, had something to do with it. Part of the reason he had rejected the therapists attempt to speak to him was because that would be admitting that he needed the help, and Saeran had worked so hard to convince himself that he did not need to rely on anyone for so long that he was not ready to let that barrier come down, especially not to someone he did not know. Besides, he had a slight distaste for the fact she had referred to him as ‘the persecutor’, as though he didn’t have a name. He knew that the other alters in the headspace had anger, had a rage for how they had been treated, but it was no longer their priority. They had each chosen to let go of that grudge in order to enjoy the life that lay ahead of them, and beside them. But Saeran was built with so much anger that it felt as though he consisted only of guarded walls lined with barbed wire, so much so that even if someone stupidly attempted to climb those walls, they would not get away unscathed. He had protected himself with that rage and had needed it to retaliate to anyone who had dared hurt them again. He had to be the strongest because he had too frequently been the weakest.

He was breathing a little heavier, probably from all of the thoughts rushing around his already too busy head. But through learned experience, Saeran was very good at staying quiet and tried to keep his breathing steady so he didn’t wake you up and have to explain himself. It wasn’t as though he could just pretend to be one of the others, he wouldn’t do himself a disservice like that. Once he saw that you were still comfortably asleep, he started to relax a little bit, tilting his head in your direction.

He knew the body was used to being in the bed beside you, but it was still his first time experiencing it as himself. It was a weird concept to him. How did the other Saeran do it? Did he sleep right up beside you, holding you? Or maybe he slept on his back too, since Saeran had woken up on his back. What about Ray, did he still cower on the side of the bed, his back pressed up against the wall? Ready to leap out at any sudden noise? Questions he would never ask them, but often wondered the answers to. In the darkness, Saeran felt as though he could be a little more honest with himself; as though it acted as a blanket for his emotions. He had hidden himself in the darkness for so long that there was a certain comfort to it. He couldn’t see what was lurking around the corner, but he also couldn’t be seen by whatever was waiting for him. It was a more equal playing field.

You shifted again, calling his gaze to your hand. You clenched and unclenched and then clenched again, as though something in your dream was requiring your attention. He wanted to reach out and hold your hand in the same way that the others did, but he couldn’t. Primarily, because he didn’t want to wake you, but also because Saeran didn’t think that he deserved to do so. You’d held out your hand to him so many times and each time he’d smacked it away, or worse, used that extended hand against you. His eyes remained focused on it, placed next to your sleeping head, so soft and small in comparison to his own. He sighed at the guilt seeping into his body as he remembered when you had tried to push him away with those hands, pressing them against his chest. At the time, in some sickened sense, it had amused him that you were so easy to physically overpower, and it gave him such a sense of joy that, for the first time, he was the stronger one in a dynamic. Now, he knew it was because your hands were not made to carry such a destructive force. You hadn’t hurt him because you hadn’t wanted to hurt him, you’d pitied him because you could already see the agony that he was writhing in, whereas he was almost blind to it.

Saeran didn’t deserve to, and yet, he wanted to hold your hand. To feel the warmth that was always so denied to him. He was jealous of the others who could do it so freely, who did not have to sit in anguish over it. The guiltless ones, he carried their guilt for them. He guessed that it was the price he had to pay to be allowed to take up the space he called his own, and for the other ones to be able to live so happily. His own hand twitched under the blanket as he slowly freed it from beneath the sheets. He didn’t place it on yours, but gently positioned it on the pillow next to it, just a few inches away. After a moment of consideration, and calculating the risk, Saeran held his breath and slowly moved the side of his finger up against your hand. His own skin was always cold, but yours was so much warmer than he could have imagined. It held so much love, love that he was so undeserving of. He kept his hand frozen against yours, not daring to move it any closer but not wanting to pull it away.

There were so many thoughts and confusing feelings rushing through Saeran’s head, but he was so grounded by your warm touch that he just wanted to fall asleep in it where he knew you could keep him safe and secure. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been so bad if he could have allowed himself a little bit of vulnerability while no one was awake to witness it. They couldn’t prove that he had let his guard down. Saeran’s cool eyes focused on the sight of your hands against one another before he started to close his eyes and drift off; comforted by the lavender and the skin to skin contact. He wanted to sleep knowing that you were right beside him, just within his reach.

That was, at least, until he heard soft whimpers coming from your side of the bed. It sounded as though you were crying. He began to panic, pulling his own hand away in case he had somehow hurt you. Although he couldn’t do it audibly, Saeran began to curse himself for being the one who had woken up, it should have been one of the others, someone who wouldn’t ruin everything. You were going to leave him, he was going to be abandoned once again and it was all his fault and-

‘S…Sae-ran…’ You whispered, snapping him out of his myriad of self-destruction. He’d woken you up and you were going to scream when you saw him, reliving the horror that he had put you through. The horror that the others had worked so hard to fix in his place. He froze, the predator becoming the prey and burning up his fight or flight response. It was difficult for him to see in the dark but he was able to hear you moving around in the sheets, before muttering his name once more. Well, it was his name, but he knew you weren’t calling for him. He squinted, trying to make out what was happening, and it quickly occurred to him that you were having a nightmare. What did you have to fear when you were asleep? What creatures haunted your dreams and chased you through the forest? He wondered, briefly, in that sad moment, if he was the one in your nightmare, taunting you and robbing you of your freedom. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t wake you up, then you’d know it was him and not your beloved Saeran. It was him in his place, the wrong one. He couldn’t wake you up, freeing you from one monster and then forcing you straight into the company of another.

‘Pull her closer.’ The thought came to him in a whisper, but he wasn’t quite sure if it was his own or one of the others. His hands seemed to move on their own as he scooped you up, pulling you against his chest. Was he trembling? He hadn’t realised he was holding his breath until he sighed. He had had a lot of practice of not making a sound while breathing. This time, when he breathed, all he could smell was you. Your perfume, your shampoo, even the lipbalm you wore for bed. It was like another drug. He’d had you this close to him before, but never like this, never with the tenderness that he managed on that occasion. It was new for him too, allowing someone to get so close. He thought about how many times he had told you that you smelled disgusting, how you made him feel sick to even be around, but it couldn’t have been further from the truth. You smelled like a comfort he had never had.

You sleepily hugged him back, entirely unaware of anything except for the soft embrace of arms around your back: protecting you from whatever ailment plagued you in your sleep. After a minute or so of being pressed against his chest, you stopped shaking. His gaze fell to you, taking in the tired features of your face and carefully watching them melt into a happy peace. The two of you laid there in one another’s embrace in the middle of the bed for a while. Saeran felt such utter confliction at the idea of being the one to hold you. He felt guilty, deciding that you only wanted his touch thinking it was the better Saeran, and that he had somehow deceived you by being the one to hold you in his place. And yet, there was an odd sense of pride pooling in his chest that, this time, he was able to help you instead of hurt you. That was a first for him. It was small, and he was uncertain of it, but he had the hope that perhaps he would able to provide the blanket you needed like the others could. He could be the arms to protect you, instead of the ones you needed protecting from.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed awake to watch you sleep for, but he wanted to savour the private moment while he still could before you knew it was him. ‘Would it be so bad if she did know?’ That same voice said but he did not have the time it ponder it before he felt the effects of the lavender weighing heavy on the air. He thought that, given how much they enjoyed being outside, that one of the others would have opened the window to let some air in before going to bed. Ironic, really. Maybe it was intentional. After all, you weren’t the only one to get nightmares and needed coaxing to go back to sleep. If there was one thing they had all learned from Rika, it was the effectiveness of plants.

His eyes were getting heavy, and Saeran was no longer someone to pass up on the opportunity of sleep when it was offered to him. He had years of it to make up for. While he could, he placed his chin on top of your head, pulling you a little closer as he did so. His heart was thudding so heavily against his ribcage, to the point he thought maybe that would be what’d wake you up, and that would really be a kick in the teeth for him. However, you squeezed yourself closer to him, causing him to release a shaky sigh. You wanted him closer. It was the feeling of your embrace that Saeran felt before falling back asleep, and he noted the fact that this was the first time he was being held. It was… nice. Safe.

That next morning, you awoke to the smell of breakfast, and heard a couple of cluttering pans in the kitchen. While it was pretty usual for Saeran or Ray to bring you breakfast in bed, he was usually pretty quiet about it, so you thought that maybe he was trying a new recipe and that it had gone wrong. You shuffled out of bed, brushing your teeth and washing your face before heading into the kitchen. Saeran stood with his back to you, fully dressed in his usual white shirt and black trousers, facing the oven. His hair was a little messy, but no one rolled out of bed with perfect hair. It was cute.

‘Good morning, my love.’ You said, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing a little kiss into his back before putting the kettle on.

‘Mornin’.’ Saeran replied, casually. You paused for a second, wondering why he didn’t greet you with one of his typical flowery greetings, or at the very least a term of endearment, but brushed it off figuring that he might just be a little bit tired since it was still pretty early.

‘What do you wanna eat?’ He asked as you set two cups down on the breakfast table before pulling your seat out. His tones and mannerisms were a little different than usual, and you thought- No. Both Ray and Saeran assured you that he wasn’t ready yet. Surely, he wouldn’t just turn up one morning without warning.

‘It looks like you tried to make eggs.’ You laughed, his back still towards you as he cracked another egg into the frying pan and discarded the shell to the side of the oven.

‘Yeah, fuckin’ harder than I remember them being.’ He said, which definitely made you do a double take.

‘Who… are you, if you don’t mind me asking?’ You asked tentatively, not wanting to upset whoever the Saeran in front of you was. You knew he didn’t mind your questions since they never came from a place of malice anyway, but you always wanted to be considerate regardless.

He turned around, leaning back up against the kitchen side. He folded his arms but displayed a very distinctive smirk that you had not seen in so long. It was different this time though, his blue eyes were different. They were still tormented and anguished, but it was no longer directed at you. The ice in his eyes had begun to thaw.

‘What? Don’t you recognise me, doll?’

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger x reader #saeran choi #saeran choi x reader #mystic messenger fanfiction #mystic messenger reader insert #mystic messenger self insert #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger hcs #mystic messenger hc #mystic messenger headcanon #mysme

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mings · 4 years ago

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Some context...

...in relation to that last post. This is a lo-o-o-o-ong read, so feel free to skip right by if catharsis bores you.

This starts way before I joined tumblr; in fact, long before tumblr was even a thing.

Twenty years ago, we lived in a huge house backing onto the English Channel. We moved there from Scotland, which turned out to be (probably) the biggest mistake of my life.

Within nine months of buying the place, the company I’d moved to work for nearly folded. I and most of the workforce were made redundant. That set in motion an existential battle with our mortgage insurer, which refused to pay out because I “must have known” when taking out the insurance. (I didn’t, and they eventually caved in after destroying my credit record, but that’s another story.)

Work wasn’t immediately available; none that would at least cover the bills. We got inventive, wrote a business plan, obtained finance & bought a franchise. It went pretty well for the first three years, but we had to bust a gut to make the required income. It wasn’t easy. Eventually, the franchise operator messed up relations with several key players in our insurance market. Within three months, we lost 75% of our revenue. I had to close the workshop & find part time work to make ends meet. Ultimately, we decided to close the business, sell the house and downsize to something more manageable.

What’s the relevance of this? We tried hard to keep our precarious financial state form the kids. Maybe we didn’t do as well as we thought. Our son had already become withdrawn. He’d fallen in with a group of local lads about whom we had grave misgivings. Of course, there was no discussing it. We were “over-reacting” and unreasonable. It was around that time that he decided to jack in his education. I couldn’t criticise; I’d done the same. I pulled some strings and got him a job at our local Royal Mail delivery office.

We moved to our new place. It was a stressful move. Trying to fit into a house that was literally half the size was never going to be an easy task. One afternoon, our son came home from work and soon after announced he was going out. “See you later.” Only we didn’t. He didn’t come home that night. Nor did he turn up for work the next day. Nor the day after. And nor the day after that. Within a week he was written up for unauthorised absence. We had no way of contacting him. His case was heard in the following weeks. I could offer no mitigation. He was sacked for abandonment of duty. That tag that means he’ll never work for them again.

We still had no idea where he was. We only knew he was alive because we met a couple of his friends who couldn’t believe he’d not been in touch. Still no word. My wife was in shreds; I suspect any of you who are parents can identify with that. I was alternating between trying to prop her up and stay on top of my job, all the while under a constant barrage of barracking (Oh, we don’t mean anything by it, it’s just banter....)

About three months in I’d had enough. Sleep was a scarce resource so I rose at the crack of dawn and started on a trip, rousting one after another of the friends and acquaintances that I knew, following leads until finally I tracked him down to a sordid bedsit several towns and 40 miles away. At least he answered the door and looked sheepish. He offered no explanation or apology, and has never done so to date. He refused to come back home, but promised to keep in touch.

We know he bounced from one sofa to another in the next few months. He spent time in some of the worst areas in the county for drug abuse. He fell into a relationship with a girl that looked promising initially and subsequently fell apart. Later, he surfaced in another town with another girl whom he subsequently married. She often spoke of his irascible temperament and moods. Ultimately the marriage was doomed; she was younger than him, found a new interest and moved out. One wonders now how much of that was her and how much she’d put up with before voting with her feet.

He’s stumbled from one financial crisis to another. Money just evaporates. It’s as though adulting is a mystery beyond his reach. I’ve lost count of the times that we’ve thrown money at him and I don’t want to even think about how much. It’s literally thousands, always a loan, yet he never, ever pays back.

He left his job. That was inevitable too; he worked for his ex-father-in-law’s company. Heaven only knows how long the writing was on the wall; it was pretty swift once she left. He drifted again. He chose to live in a squalid flat with no heating rather than move back with us. Absolutely his choice, not ours.

We moved to Scotland. That meant all his stuff had to go into storage. Quick rewind - he moved all his stuff to ours when he gave up the house he & his ex lived in, but refused to move back home. I had to rent a storage unit to make space for all his gear & when we moved I shifted all his gear into the store, gave him the key & told him I’d paid three months up front; after that it was his to deal with. Apparently, he surrendered the store and moved all his gear into the flat...

Fast forward to a couple of months back. He’d run out of options at the flat. His flatmate was “really difficult” to live with. His ex had moved away, taking their son with her. He had nothing left to stay for and, surprise, he’d lost his job again so he couldn’t afford the rent.

My wife convinced me we should give him one last shot, citing his fragile mental health. I agreed on the strict understanding that we are simply no longer in a position to support him. He assured us he’d be applying for work as soon as he got here. We rarely see him before midday...

We agreed the end of the first week in March. We knew he’d arrive with a ton of stuff so we had (again) to create space. That’s infinitely more difficult now we’re running a B&B, but we set to the task. Suddenly, two weeks sooner than we’d agreed, he rented a van and was on his way. No discussion, no warning. We only found out because he put something on FB.

Finally, after trying to reach him most of the day, he phoned. Whilst we should have been relieved, instead we were treated to a barrage of abuse because all the petrol stations were shut. Of course they were. It was in a national lockdown and why would they stay open when there was no one on the roads? JFC, who embarks on a journey in sub-zero temperatures across some of the most inhospitable country in the UK without enough fuel? With a six year old child. Yes, not only did he forget to tell us about his change of plans, he forgot to tell us he was bringing his son too.

We drove south through the night for two hours to find him somewhere in the Cairngorms where he’d run out of fuel. No fuel meant no heaters at 1500 feet in deep snow. The ambient temperature was -5ºC/23ºF & with wind chill that was probably around -10ºC/14ºF. We found him & refuelled his van. No thanks, just another barrage of abuse, because he was tired. We took his son into our car & drove the two hours back in near silence. I think we knew then that it was an awful predictor of what was to come.

We’ve had row after row. He accused me of being passive-aggressive in the last. He actually ticks all the boxes for passive-aggressive behaviour. I’ve never been tagged with that before; if anything I’m too forthright, blunt even. That’s a failing to which I will admit. If by that he meant that I don’t talk about the elephant in the room, it’s only because we fear it’ll lead to another explosion.

He never saw the damage that we sustained during our fostering years. He was never there. Yet here we are, experiencing flashbacks to those traumatic incidents; the parallels are exact. We have the benefit of years of training. We recognise manipulative behaviour when we see it - we were trained by some of the nations best exponents - and we know divisive tactics implicitly. What he doesn’t know is that he will succeed only in pushing us closer together and alienating himself even further.

There are clear and well-documented links between cannabis and mental health issues. He is allowing the drug to determine his life choices. Although I may be wrong, I think he’s cultivating skunk, which is nothing like the weed that circulated in my youth. The smell that pervades our hallway is instantly evocative of high strength Afghan resin. It’s also going to be acutely difficult to eradicate before we’re due to open.

We’ve endured 20 years of this treatment. I know that even if we have a ritual burning, it will only be a matter of time before we’re back here again. We’re old. We’re tired. And we’ve worked our socks off (and still do) to achieve what we have. Maybe somewhere along the way we missed something. But I’m at a stage where I’m so far beyond this I just want it to stop.

#drugs #the damage is done #context #explanatory notes

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denimbex1986 · 3 years ago

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A Note On The Mistreatment & Bullying Of Sebastian Stan

@infinitecrime: Sebastian has never, ever said that he doesn't make mistakes, that he always gets everything right, that he has 0 ignorance or areas he could improve, or that all criticism of him in the world is simply mindless hate. In fact, quite the opposite. Throughout his entire career he's been uncommonly engaged with his fans, open to criticism, and commited to learning and getting better. He's consistently reminded us that he isn't perfect, he's human, and he makes mistakes.

He's still yet to directly call out the people who are making his life a living hell, but has, in recent interviews, hinted at how the toxic behaviour of the fanbase has been getting to him - particularly the hypersensitivity of fans who willfully dissect his every word to find something to bash him with, and will twist everything he does to be negative. It's ironic that his point has been proven tenfold by people picking apart his words and trying to make even his basic acknowledgement of what you have all being doing to him for the last year problematic. If you heard him taking about bullies and harassment and thought "hey, he's aiming that at me!", then I don't know what to tell you. Why do you see yourself in that description?

He's allowed to be affected by literally years of abuse and harassment. He's allowed to be upset by intense stalking and leaking of his home address (twice!) and phone number. He's allowed to be disturbed by people sending his friends and loved ones vile racist, xenophobic and misogynistic abuse on a daily basis and pretending that's somehow social justice. He's allowed to have a reaction to death threats, rape threats and countless messages telling him to kill himself. He's allowed to want freedom to make his own choices about his personal life without consulting a bunch of random kids. He's allowed to show human emotion and not want his life dissected and controlled by a mob of total strangers. He's allowed to react to near daily attempts to end his career and/or life over often made up or exaggerated bad faith accusations. He's allowed to call the people who have openly admitted their goal is "to bully him off the internet" what they are: bullies. And he is more than allowed to fucking stand up for himself and call out bullies and stalkers. He has a right to defend himself, to call out the abuse, and to be angry or sad about it. And he's been far more polite and indirect about all this than any of you deserve.

He's not "playing the victim". He is the victim. The only person who has had tangible harm done to them is him. Not you. He hasn't done anything to you. He hasn't sent you death threats, told you to kill yourself, or abused or stalked you. You cannot police the way he reacts or criticise him for struggling mentally after you've subjected him to a 3000 on 1, year long, 24/7 beat down. Relentlessly harassing someone and then mocking or criticising them for daring to react to it is such a typical abuse tactic I genuinely can't understand how you don't see what you are and what you're doing to another human being. You're not making the world a better place or achieving anything at all. You're not the good guy. You're no one's saviour.

The post above is HUGELY Important. Not just lately, as a result of the hatred, vitriol and crap Seb has had directed at him in recent days, but more generally. Some people forget that Seb is actually human - he has thoughts and feelings just like everyone else and it utterly appalls me the way some individuals have completely disregarded this fact. He has spent more than a decade in the spotlight - closer to two as a whole - and had to tolerate people giving him shit over various things on and off for years.

Now, I’m all for people calling him out on inappropriate comments he’s made/things he’s done etc., but it must be noted he HAS apologized for most of these instances. What I don’t - and what no-one should support or condone - is people continuing to criticize him not just for such things he’s apologized for, and constantly dragging them back up, sometimes even years later, just to cast him in a bad light or in an attempt to “cancel” him, but in general; things like criticizing his projects and the way he looks etc. Nor should anyone support or partake in such appalling, disrespectful actions and behaviours such as stalking him or leaking his address and I’m sickened by the fact that some people have in fact done this.

To think Seb - particularly as someone who has spoken time and time again about suffering with anxiety - wasn’t ever going to be or isn’t affected by any of this is utterly insane. If things like this were to happen to us, there is NO WAY we wouldn’t be affected, negatively, by it, so it is unfair to think or assume that Seb is or would be any different. He has every right to call the people who make his life miserable, particularly the scores of people who seem to take so much pride in tearing him down and criticizing him online bullies because that is exactly what they are.

People have said he’s been wrong in the past few days to in some way hint at or address the actions of some people/their intrusion/obsession with him and constant barrages of hatred etc. in his recent interviews. NO. HE’S NOT. He’s used and is using the platform he has to get a message across - just as those who spout and direct shit at him do - that he is aware of what people are saying and doing, and that it does affect and is affecting him. The fact he’s done it so politely is testament to his character, and as @infinitecrime says above, such politeness is far more than the bullies and haters deserve.

The fact of the matter is Seb is and will forever be a far better person than any of those who find pleasure in causing him harm; emotional, mental or otherwise. He is a person who brings pleasure to the lives of millions of people, not only through his work, but through his kind heart and his compassion. He has had and continues to have an ultimately positive impact on this world and for that he should be very proud. The same cannot and should not be said for those who find joy in bringing and causing him pain.

#Sebastian Stan

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littlewetbeast · 4 years ago

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unpopular opinion for a member of the desticule apparently, but I don't think jackles has committed any sins he needs to be given a pass for or forgiven for. he was perfectly within his rights to say destiel isn't real if that was how he felt. which I'm sure he did, because I don't think he ever set out or intended to play it that way and he's even said so himself (I'm a believer in his and misha's chemistry or rl relationship bleeding through however). same for dean being bisexual, if he feels/felt differently about it, he's allowed to say (or write) no to that, as long as he's not being an asshole about it. which he wasn't imo, he even told a fan he's not against that interpretation of dean, he just sees it differently. which again, perfectly acceptable.

the only instance I can think of that's borderline asshole-ish is the "let's not ruin it for everybody" thing. but from what I remember he only said that after the crowd had already started booing the girl after she'd asked her question, making the situation kind of fraught and tense. I think he probably wanted to avoid escalating the situation further by quickly moving on to the next question like that (and yeah lbr, he probably wasnt keen on answering that question either for various reasons, eg [gunshots]). could he have handled that situation better? yes, definitely, there would have been much better ways to deal with this. do we always make the best decisons in split second moments when put on the spot and in a room full of angry, booing people? no. at least I know I wouldn't because I always say or do dumb things when I'm feeling stressed and need to make quick decisions that I regret later when I can think about it in peace and come up with better ways for how I should have handled something. so maybe I'm just too jackles-coded to be objective, but yeah, this incident doesn't really bother me too much either.

alright: let me preface by saying that i’m 90% of the way there with you, as a jackles apologist, and definitely also being jackles-coded myself. so i do get where you’re coming from. however, i definitely think he’s acted like a dick about it in the past, and while i do understand based on the full context, i don’t think it excuses it. i mean, he has, as recently as 2019 acted weird and defensive about destiel - and while we in the trash know why, i think he is fairly criticized for that. like, yeah, he is totally in his rights to say that destiel and bisexual dean is not the intention - no one is criticising that - and he HAS in quieter settings handled it better, but he has leaned towards his offensive front on his subject more than once. knowing, and understanding, why it's a personal sore spot for him doesn't mean i can't also acknowledge that he’s acted in stupid ways i don’t appreciate. i’m not going to go into why his behaviour is douchey, bc i suppose if you don’t see it that way we will just have to disagree. personally seeing those old clips is upsetting to me, so i try not to dwell on it. but hey. we learn and grow as people. i sure as hell said some stupid ass things 10 years ago (or as recently as a week ago), but i had the benefit of not having a camera trained on me to immortalise that moment. was it understandable that i had a bad knee-jerk reaction in the past? yes. does that excuse the bad reaction? no. and same applies to jackles. anyway, i’ll end it with a positive note: from everything i’ve seen, he genuinely seems like a very nice person who tries to improve himself and learn from his mistakes, and that’s certainly way more than can be said for many other people. he seems quite sensitive and like he tries to look out for other people, and i’m glad in the later years he feels less of a need to perform and can just be relaxed and embarrassing and be the cringe king he deserves to be.

#ask #rosa answers #jackles #cockles-adjacent #jenmish #gunshots #cockles

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starshipsofstarlord · 5 years ago

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Polygraph Eyes - Scott Reed x Reader

Inspired by YUNGBLUD’s song Polygraph Eyes, obviously

Liberty was not shy of its flaws, no matter how hard some students tried to conceal them. The school practically watched a girl kill herself, nothing was done about it, only posters were put up telling those who saw it not to follow in Hannah Baker’s footsteps.

The people tore others down, whether that be intentionally or ignorantly. You had been one of those murderers on the tapes, and it made you realise your behaviour, and correct it as soon as you reached the one where Hannah criticised and blamed you.

You had been leaving your parent’s house when Clay blocked your path. He cursed you out, making you feel worse than you already did. That night you went to a party, only to find yourself alone under blue sheets with a lack of clothes. It was Courtney’s house, and she said she didn’t remember who you had slept with.

Ever since that night, Scott Reed had been watching your every move like a hawk. Clay had asked you about the attention you had been receiving seeing as you were on decent terms and in the same boat with the court events. You didn’t know, and that is what you told him.

“Did we sleep together that night?” You asked him at the end of class, wondering if he was the guy who had left you before the morning had came.

If it had been him, you wouldn’t have been mad. He was on the nicer spectrum of the jocks, and he was admittedly easy on the eyes.

As if ashamed, Scott bowed his head. There was something he was hiding, a secret he didn’t want to burden you with. It made him feel as though he would be sick now being aware of your naivety. His gut had been right about that subject.

“You don’ t remember?” The boy asked you, looking around the halls.

“No, I’m sorry.” His brows furrowed at your words, as if he was angered by what you had said to him.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Scott wanted to hug you, but the contact may not been the best thing. After all you had been - no, he didn’t want to think about the possibility that he had been speculating. “And no, it wasn’t me.”

He left when he saw Clay heading your way, nodding at him as he parted. A part of you wouldn’t like to admit it, but you were disappointed that he had not been your partner that night.

It wasn’t something you usually did, sleeping with people outside of relationships that was. But this one occurrence was bothering you.

….

Scott sat on edge in the clubhouse. It was just him and the guys in there tonight, thank god. They all seemed chirpy, and his behaviour was easily picked up on with his rigid composure and lack of involvement in the teasing.

“Chloe must get some good shit.” Monty drank from his bottle. It was tequila, possibly. That’s what Scott thought, it had to at least be alcohol judging from its exterior. “You know, from your experience and all.”

Bryce chuckled arrogantly in response, getting up and sitting beside Scott on the couch. “I think all of us are getting more than Scotty here.”

Perhaps it was supposed to be taken as a joke, but Scott brushed the hand Bryce had laid on his shoulder off. “Someone’s a bit touchy tonight.”

“I think (Y/N) rejected him earlier, I saw them talking.” If that was the case, Montgomery de la Cruz seemed to find it hilarious. This made Scott realise his scoping had not been as accurate as he had once thought. He thanked God that the jock hadn’t heard what the exchange was actually concerning.

“Aw.” Bryce taunted him, as did the other boys. “It’ll get better mate. A broken heart only means someone will come by and fix it.” That was cheap coming from him of all people.

“Did you sleep with her Bryce?” His voice was serious, the other boys went silent, except Monty who congratulated his best friend by encouraging him to get some.

“That doesn’t matter.” Bryce took another swig of alcohol, but noticed Scott’s staring. “Okay, once. And you’re not missing out, she’s not all that great in bed.”

Scott wasn’t sure if Bryce was trying to make him feel better or angrier. He swore he could feel the sweat beading on his forehead, tracing and trailing down the veins of his face.

“Did you sleep with her or did you rape her?” He stood from where he was seated next to the rapist. Bryce only laughed amused by her accusation.

“Why don’t you ask your little girlfriend about our get together?”

“She asked me, seeing as she had trouble remembering who she was with that night because she was unconscious!” Bryce had to be taking the piss. It was no secret to the students what Walker was like. The tapes told his story.

“You’re going to believe that slut over me?” That was unfair. Bryce sounded offended, and he had no right to be.

“She’s not a slut, you’re just a fucking rapist.” He had gotten the confirmation he needed, so he left. Scott had to see you. You deserved the truth, as did everyone Bryce had taken advantage of.

….

Your parents had allowed Scott in. He was sat with them in the living room, discussing the sport that had got him involved with that sickening rapist.

And then you walked in the door. “(Y/N), you have a visitor.” You followed the sound of your mother’s voice, stopping in your footsteps to when you saw who was sat on the sofa.

“Scott, what are you doing here?” No one from school had never been inside your home before. It made you feel exposed, vulnerable to the population’s eye.

“I have those notes you asked to go over earlier.” His voice sounded as though he was pleading with you, asking for a moment to speak with you. You’d be a monster to decline, you thought, oblivious to who the real monster was.

“Let’s go upstairs.” He willingly followed, taking each step at a time.

“There’s no notes Scott.” You stated expectedly, curious as to why he had invaded your safe space.

“I know what happened that night.” The boy told you, digging through his bag until he pulled out something that gave you bad memories. It was a tape.

“What the hell is that Scott?” You grew nervous, scared he was mocking the pain you had caused Hannah.

“The answer.” He also pulled out a tape player, putting the tape inside. “Are you ready.” You had been ready since that night, you nodded worriedly.

It began with normal male conversation, with voices you were quick to recognise. “I think all of us are getting more than Scotty here.” It made you feel bad for him, seeing as his friends were amused by the lack of affection he received.

“Someone’s a bit touchy tonight.” So this had been recorded just before he came here. There was a moon in the sky that glowered down at the two of you, awaiting the eventual reaction you would give, where you would crumble and enclose on yourself.

“I think (Y/N) rejected him earlier, I saw them talking.” It gave you shivers that Monty had been watching the pair of you. There was no privacy in liberty it would seem, but Hannah had already told you as much.

“Aw.” Undoubtedly it was Bryce Walker. Ever since Hannah and Clay had exposed what the rapist had done to her, you felt sick every time he was mentioned. You hoped the judge struck him down, forcing him to rot in a four by four cell. “It’ll get better mate. A broken heart only means someone will come by and fix it.”

At that you paused the recording. “You like me?” Scott looked at you, sadness orbiting in his eyes.

“Yes, but that’s not what this is about.” He didn’t explain further, he only brushed your hair from your face and pressed play. “Did you sleep with her Bryce?”

That for sure sounded like your worst nightmare. You would never in a million years agree to have sex with him under many circumstances. It was hard enough knowing that Jess had been a victim of his. You didn’t want it to be that way, but every time you looked at her you saw his burning fingerprints over her body. It wasn’t fair for her.

“That doesn’t matter.” Yes it did! “Okay, once. And you’re not missing out, she’s not all that great in bed.” There was no recollection of that in your mind. Not even once did you even think about bedding that pig. He had no idea what you were like in bed either.

“Did you sleep with her or did you rape her?” It was Scott’s voice, and it made you fearful of the possibility that it had happened.

“Turn it off.” You begged him, but he was insistent that you had to listen.

“You deserve the truth.” Was what he had specifically said. “Why don’t you ask your little girlfriend about our get together?” How Bryce had any friends, you weren’t sure, you supposed his money. It shocked you that of all people, Scott Reed stood against him, defending you and your dignity.

“She asked me, seeing as she had trouble remembering who she was with that night because she was unconscious!“ There was clear anger in Scott’s voice. Bryce had riled him up. The mention of your state made you feel as though you could be physically sick.

“You’re going to believe that slut over me?” And that was what the man who raped you saw you. A slut. He was the one who had vandalised your body and left you there for anyone to find.

“She’s not a slut, you’re just a fucking rapist.” The tape ran flat, turning to the noise of static. It was the end.

“I like you too, but I can’t be in a relationship yet after hearing that.” You were looking at him with wide, innocent eyes. His heart broke at the sight.

“And I don’t expect you to be.” He comforted you, brushing his fingers over the teardrops that fell down your face.

“What do I do after this? What do I do with this?” Scott took the tape from the player, and held it out to you.

“You take it to court with you.” That was a start.

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nikkoliferous · 5 years ago

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"Loki brought it all on himself"

Ok, we need to talk about this frequent claim that Loki deserves all the bad things that have ever happened to him.

Firstly, let's just get this out of the way. The amount of gaslight in the assertion that Loki “broke his family's trust” is unbelievable. As in, I literally cannot believe there are people who genuinely think this. They turn canon completely on its head. Loki's family betrayed his trust—by kidnapping him as an infant, lying to him for his entire life, raising him to despise the Jötnar while knowing that he was actually one of them, and chronically mistreating him—long before he took on any villainous behaviour. Loki’s story is very much one of what can happen when you push even a good person too damn far.

The worst thing Loki can be accused of having done prior to the complete mental collapse he suffers upon learning his life has been a lie, is letting a handful of Frost Giants into Asgard to crash Thor's coronation. He does this partly—in his own words, and he has no reason to lie about this to Laufey of all people—to protect the kingdom from Thor's foolishness and immaturity. And he is not alone in his belief that Thor is not ready to be ruler of Asgard. Odin himself, in a scene that did not make it into the film, expresses doubt about this, and Frigga, interestingly enough, reassures him by reminding him that Loki will be by Thor's side to counsel him and, for lack of better phrasing, keep him from doing too much damage.

So I think we can dismiss that action as a "betrayal" of his family's trust—and even if one does want to consider this a betrayal, it certainly isn't one on a scale that merits spending thousands of years enduring psychological torture (which is what solitary confinement is).

Another assertion frequently made is that Loki manipulates Thor into going to Jötunheim to confront Laufey. Loki most definitely manipulates Thor—but at no point does he suggest doing that. Thor comes up with that harebrained scheme all on his own. The most Loki does is attempt to manipulate the rift between Thor and Odin by playing into Thor's sense of righteous anger and his resentment at being shut down. Not only does Loki not suggest at any point that they should confront Laufey, but he actively takes steps to prevent them from reaching Jötunheim. He tries to talk Thor out of going; he orders a guard to inform Odin of their plans, expecting they'll be intercepted in time; he takes the initiative to speak for them to Heimdall, very likely because he knows Heimdall dislikes/distrusts him. And after all of that fails, he attempts to talk Thor down from starting a war once they're standing in Laufey's court. Interestingly enough, I never see anyone claim that Thor betrays his family's trust by reigniting a war with the Frost Giants, endangering the lives of his family, his friends, and his would-be subjects. It's almost like all the accusations of betrayal that people level at Loki aren't based on any sort of objectivity or moral high ground at all and are merely rationalizations by people working backwards from the conclusion that Loki is “evil”, simply because the narrative has framed him as a villain.

We also need to reckon with the fact that Loki did not "steal" the throne. Thor was stripped of his power and banished to Earth (which was not Loki's doing) when Odin fell into the Odinsleep (also not Loki’s doing). After Thor, Loki is next in line for the throne. That's literally just how the royal line of succession works. With both Odin and Thor incapacitated in one way or another, the responsibility of ruling falls legitimately to Loki. Frigga herself names him regent-king. Loki neither banishes Thor from Asgard nor forces Odin to go napnap, nor indeed does he even attempt to manipulate Frigga to pass the role of regent onto him—if anything, he’s shocked when she does so; therefore, it is completely unreasonable to accuse him of having "usurped" anything.

It’s equally unreasonable to claim that Loki “arranged for” Thor’s banishment, yet I see people say the same time and time again. Let us just recall that 1) Loki attempts to intervene when the fight between Thor and Odin begins to escalate

and 2) This is Loki’s face upon Odin’s inexplicably extreme punishment.

Look, I know Loki is known as being a liar, but if you think his shock here isn’t genuine, I have some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you.

Now, I could stop right here because the claim is that Loki betrayed his family’s trust first and thus brought everything on himself. And as I’ve clearly demonstrated, any villainous actions Loki takes, be they in the first Thor film or thereafter, come after learning the truth (aka having his trust broken by his family). But because I know how much people love to move the goalpost when it comes to Loki, let’s just go on to address why none of his actions are truly villainous in the classic sense of the word.

Every wrongful action Loki takes in this film, outside of the aforementioned interference with Thor’s coronation (which we’ve already established may have been ill-conceived but certainly was not a “betrayal”) is a reaction to various betrayals against him or a result of paranoia fueled by a complete emotional collapse.

“Trying to kill” Heimdall is not a betrayal because Loki is defending himself from Heimdall who is attempting to commit regicide. (Also, if Loki had wanted Heimdall dead, he would be. The fact that he’s not, is a demonstration of Loki’s benevolence, not his ruthlessness).

Lying to Thor about Odin being dead is cruel, but it’s not borne of a desire to hurt Thor. Both the lie and, later, sending the Destroyer are borne of desperation, because as Tom himself has stated, Loki believed Thor would kill him if he made it back to Asgard and learned the truth. This is a moment that, if there were any justice in the MCU, ought to have haunted Thor for the rest of his life:

That’s one Jötun who definitely fears him.

This goes far beyond the claim that he betrayed his family, but I’ll address it anyway: tricking the Frost Giants by inviting them into the palace under false pretenses is not a betrayal because there is no established relationship of trust between Loki and the Jötnar. You can’t betray a trust that doesn’t exist.

And attempted genocide is definitely not a betrayal of his family’s trust because genocide is literally what this family does. Genocide is their entire legacy. Despite claims to the contrary, this was an established fact well before Ragnarok. (”So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?” “I went down to Midgard to rule the people of Earth as a benevolent god, just like you.” “[What of the lives you took on Earth?] A mere handful compared to the number Odin has taken himself”). If anything, trying to destroy Jötunheim was an attempt to live up to the family name. It was misguided and wrong, but it was in no way out of line with what Loki and Thor were raised to do. Asgard is a warrior culture; killing their enemies is not perceived as immoral, but honourable. In fact, one of the reasons Loki’s actions were likely seen as dishonourable is because he used the power of the Bifröst rather than engaging the Jötnar in direct warfare. (Though it is possible, given the state of Svartalfheim, that this was also done in the past to wipe out the Dark Elves). But what was it that Odin said when he was yelling at Thor in the Observatory prior to banishing him?

Odin: “Do you realise what you’ve done? What you’ve started?”

Thor: “I was protecting my home!”

Odin: “You cannot even protect your friends! How can you hope to protect a kingdom?”

At no point does Odin state that killing the Jötnar is wrong. But he does criticize Thor for putting his friends in danger by going to confront Laufey. (This is still not the catalyst for Thor’s banishment. That comes later, when Thor calls Odin “an old man and a fool”). Loki, however, conveniently knows a way to destroy the Jötnar without risking any Asgardian lives. And since a condemnation of killing their enemies is not a part of Odin’s diatribe, he has no reason to believe that Odin disapproved of that part of Thor’s misbehaviour. So now he can say, “Look, Father. I did what Thor couldn’t!”

Thor: “Why have you done this?”

Loki: “To prove to Father that I am a worthy son. When he awakens, I will have saved his life. I will have destroyed that race of monsters and I will be true heir to the throne.”

Only, as we all know, it's in vain.

There’s only one moment in the entirety of the first Thor film that I would class as a genuine betrayal of his family’s trust, and that is that he puts both Frigga and Odin in harm’s way when he invites Laufey into Asgard under the false pretense of allowing him to slay Odin in his sleep. This was very short-sighted of him; what if he’d been too late and his scheme had gotten Frigga killed before he’d arrived to intervene? Betraying his family was not his intent here, but in his highly emotional state of mind, he did endanger them needlessly— much like Thor needlessly endangered his friends and his brother by going to Jötunheim and starting this whole mess to begin with. (However, I never see fans criticise Thor for this. And they should. My point here is not that Loki should not be criticised for endangering his family, but that there needs to be consistency. If you’re going to call out Loki for endangering his loved ones, you need to call out Thor as well. If you’re going to call out Loki for mass slaughter, you need to call out Thor as well).

In short, I think my favourite thing about the vast majority of Loki antis is their blatant disdain and lack of empathy for the mentally ill and the abused. And by ‘favourite thing’, I of course mean that it disgusts me.

(Tagging @magicmastered and @just-another-human-2019 because you both expressed interest in the post 😘)

#thor (2011)#loki meta #loki #thor #lady sif #the warriors 3 #heimdall #odin's a+ parenting #frigga's b+ parenting #mcu #loki derangement syndrome

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jeremys-blogs · 4 years ago

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Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw: The Greater Houses

Within the Harry Potter books, our title character is introduced to a great many things during his first year at Hogwarts. Magic, lifelong friends, rivals, wise teachers, monsters galore, and of course, his arch-enemy. But among all these wizarding things that are explained to him, one of great significance to the school itself was the four houses. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Four sets of students each with differing beliefs and ideals and values, established way back at the start of the school's history. And of the four of them, it's easy to cite the first two, Gryffindor and Slytherin, as perhaps the most important to the story overall. Gryffindor, Harry's house, is effectively the house of heroes, containing the brave protagonists who fight against the forces of darkness. And Slytherin, meanwhile, are the house of the villains, where those who oppose Gryffindor dwell, and from which came the most infamous dark wizard of all. There may be nuance to both sides, but for the most part that's the role they play. Unquestionably, these are the two houses that hold the most sway over the events of the books, yet I would argue that, when it comes to the school itself, they're actually the least important when it comes to what school life and education are to be about, and that the two less-famous houses, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, are actually the houses which are of greatest value to those who go there.

Now, a large part of why I say this is that, as I said earlier, each of the houses is supposed to embody certain virtues and ideals, each of which differ from one another. Gryffindor, for instance, represents courage, heroism and valour. Slytherin is a house of cunning and ambition. Hufflepuff is a house of hard work, honesty and inclusiveness. And Ravenclaw, to round them all out, is a house of intelligence and wisdom. All of these are fine traits in and of themselves, but when it comes to what those at a school are supposed to be doing, it becomes clear to me that the latter two houses embody the traits that are best for them. Hard work, intelligence, out-of-the-box thinking, these are immensely valuable things for those who are going through education. However, things like courage most definitely are not. Don't get me wrong, it's in no way a bad thing to be brave, but think back to your own school experiences, and ask yourself how many times you depended on qualities like valour to get through whatever it was you were learning about? Cunning and ambition from Slytherin are certainly more in-keeping, granted, but even that doesn't hold a candle to things like intelligence. Remember, education is all about learning and working towards what you want to be later in life, and when you have that in mind, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff really are the houses who keep that fact to heart.

But, as someone who has mentioned my views on this subject a number of times to others, you can probably guess that I've already been on the receiving end of a number of counterarguments. After all, so goes the thinking, Hogwarts is not like real-world schools. Normal schools never have to deal with magical creatures, or even magic to begin with. Therefore it's not reasonable to apply our ideas of what a good school should or shouldn't be doing. And I'll grant that much, it is a fantasy story after all so a lot of the rules aren't going to be comparable given the circumstances. But the more I think about individual defences of Hogwarts and the houses in particular, the less I'm convinced and the more I start to think of the school itself in fairly negative terms. The bravery aspect of Gryffindors, for instance, is often defended because of lessons like Defence Against the Dark Arts, where students are taught how to fight against aforementioned magical creatures or even evil witches and wizards. And that seems reasonable until you remember that what we're seeing here is a school training its student in martial techniques, akin to child soldiers, and since Gryffindor is regarded as among the more revered houses, it's even more disturbing since that basically says that fighting is something they actually hope their students will learn or even want to do.

And our look at Hogwarts houses becomes even more uncomfortable when you consider what is easily the most glaring example; Slytherin. Now, I mean no offence to any real-world Slytherins out there. If you've taken one of those online quizzes and have been sorted into it, this is nothing against you. But within the actual stories themselves, this group has issues left, right and centre. Most notable is their pure-blood reputation. There are likely exceptions but for the most part the house only admits members who come from established wizarding families, creating a closed-off "our kind are better than your kind" club within the school. Now, right off the bat we can recognise that this is a bad thing to have in any school, especially considering all of the poisonous attitudes such a collection could foster. If you gather together a bunch of kids who come from families who have taught them that "their line is better" and then stick them all in the same living space with little to no interaction with those outside, then what you're left with is a breeding ground for problems, not the least of which are students who will mock or even outright attack those who they deem unworthy to be in the same school as them. If such groupings were to exist in real-life schools, people would be well within their rights to ask for it to be changed.

The Slytherin situation becomes even worse when you consider that nothing about it changes, or is even recommended to change, after the events of the second book. Back then it was revealed that the house's founder, Salazar, was so convinced that magical children from non-magical families should be kept out of Hogwarts that he secretly smuggled in a monster to hunt them down and kill them. True, said monster was eventually slain by Harry, but nobody ever considers that maybe it's time to change things. No, Slytherin gets to keep its blood-purity obsession and they don't even think to change the name of the house, and while I acknowledged that there would have indeed been an uproar among wizard traditionalists, it's just one more mark against the houses when they're allowed to keep the name of someone who thought it was okay to murder kids. Now contrast with Hufflepuff, whose founder was so unconcerned with blood status that she was willing to take anyone and everyone and give them the same level of education. That right there is a healthy mindset to be promoting, and is even more impressive when you consider how far back in history Helga was supposed to have lived. Inclusiveness is something all schools should strive for, and Hufflepuff is to be saluted for being the house to embody that belief.

In fact, when you get right down to it, both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw promote a lot of behaviours that would be considered healthy or admirable for a collection of students. There's the aforementioned inclusiveness for Hufflepuffs of course, but there's also honesty, loyalty, a dedication to hard work and a general sense of humility. They don't boast about their achievements, even when they've achieved something truly spectacular. Ravenclaws likewise celebrate academics, curiosity wit and learning even if that learning is only for its own sake. They're a group that welcomes those with new or different ideas that might not have been considered before, simply because such things would broaden what becomes possible to learn about. Put these two houses together and what you're left with is basically the perfect student. Diligent, intelligent, friendly, but also studious and committed to doing well with their time at school. As such it's a real shame that the spotlight was so often taken away from them, to the point of being regarded by general audiences of these books as "the other ones". Sure, we had the occasional Hufflepuff like Cedric, as well as recurring Ravenclaw Luna, but it was clear that characters from those houses were never going to be as beloved as those from the "hero house" Gryffindor, despite being more than worthy of praise and attention.

I realise of course that it's something of a trendy thing to do to be criticising things about the Harry Potter books these days, but for me these are things that I've been thinking about ever since I first read them back in the 90s. I had school houses myself back in the day, and as I looked through those books I thought, even at the young age I was, that Gryffindor and Slytherin weren't ones that seemed all that great. If what you wanted was a house that produced heroes and villains, sure, but this is a school we're talking about, and that's not what schools are supposed to be doing. They're supposed to encourage learning, how to help kids be friendly to one another, how to work hard and have the right mindset for when they grow up. And as I myself have grown up, it's become more and more clear to me that Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are the houses that truly embody the things school should both look for in their students and try to foster within said students. Bravery and cunning are fine things in their own right, but when it comes to getting an education and everything that's supposed to come with school life, I'm afraid the lion and snake are vey much overshadowed by the badger and the eagle 😉

#essay #writing #my stuff #harry potter #hogwarts #hufflepuff #ravenclaw

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liam-93-productions · 5 years ago

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Note: This interview was made a month ago. So mind that while reading Liam’s answers.

In the offices of Liam Payne's management company, just north of Soho in central London, there's a bottle of Bacardi inscribed with his name.

It was sent as a gift, after the singer immortalised the drink in his hit single Strip That Down. According to the lyrics, which he co-wrote with Ed Sheeran, he mixes it with Coke and "sips it lightly".

There's just one small snag, says Payne: "I don't think I've ever drunk Bacardi".

"When I was younger, I went straight in on the whisky," the star says. "I tend to pick my poison early, then I stick with it until it bores me."

In fact, shortly after Strip That Down was released in 2017, Payne gave up drinking altogether after his lifestyle became "a cause for concern".

"There were a couple of very dark years of me going through extreme peril with different mental health things," says the 26-year-old. "I just didn't know where I was going to end up."

'Reset button'

His drinking started to get out of hand while he was on tour with One Direction - the hotel mini-bar becoming a source of solace as he came down from the adrenalin high of playing for 80,000 screaming fans.

But even when the band went on hiatus, the habit continued. "It was very erratic behaviour on my part - I was partying too hard," says the star, who'd always been cast as the "sensible" member of 1D.

"It was a tough little time. My family were very worried."

Eventually, there came a point "where I realised I needed to hit the reset button and take a break," he says.

"I was coming off the back-end of a break-up, so I was dealing with all sorts of emotions that I hadn't dealt with in a long time because I was always covering them up - heartbreak, nerves, all sorts of things. I'd gotten too used to this rhythm of life; of using alcohol and different things to mask my feelings, or get me through. So I just needed to prove to myself that [drinking] wasn't the issue for me."

(...)

'Success gets the better of you'

(...)

Is that why it took two years to translate the success of Strip That Down into a debut album?

Actually, no. It was that song's phenomenal, and unexpected, performance (it's still the biggest-selling solo song by any of the former One Directioners) that threw Payne's plans into disarray.

"Strip That Down was such an amazing thing to happen - but sometimes success gets the better of you," he says.

"It took the best part of nine months to get to number one in America - and for that whole period, people wouldn't put any other songs on the radio. So it was a really weird time. We got stuck with one song for so long that it really prolonged the process of making the album".

It was especially strange for someone who was used to writing and recording entire albums in six weeks or less.

"Writing for One Direction was a different process because you knew what the kids wanted," says the star, who co-wrote about 50% of the band's last two albums.

"I love those songs - don't get me wrong - but I knew why I was writing them and I knew what I was writing them for."

Ultimately, Payne realised that getting more time to work on his debut album was "a luxury" and he allowed himself to "sit back and enjoy the process for once".

Recording sessions took place around the world, with A-listers like Ed Sheeran, Ryan Tedder and Charlie Puth. In total, the album credits a staggering 72 composers - and Payne likens the writing process to "speed dating".

"Sometimes it was difficult because I'd get one or two days in the studio with someone that I don't know and I didn't really want to share an awful lot of private stuff with them," he says. "It's almost like the first day of school every day."

His experiences in One Direction helped him be more assertive during sessions; and he turns out to be a studio geek, marvelling at piano sound on Selena Gomez's Lose You To Love Me, ("they've recorded it so close, you can hear the hammer hitting the strings") and the textural painting in Billie Eilish's Everything I Wanted ("when she sings 'I'm underwater'and they tweak her vocal so it sounds like she's disappearing, it's like Disneyland").

But as the album came together, he gravitated towards the albums he grew up with - Usher's 8701, Justin Timberlake's Justified and Chris Brown's self-titled debut - shaping his solo career around a sleek, efficient brand of R&B.

There's a thread of sadness running through the album - "Heart meet break, lips meet drink / Rock meet bottom, to the bottom I sink," he sings at one point - informed by his recurring bouts of depression, (...).

"I'm an absolute expert on heartbreak, it would seem," he says. "I think, for me, it was easier to write from a sad place, because the feelings were a little bit more raw. Happiness is hard to fathom, I think."

My sexuality is not your fetish'

But it's one of the album's more explicit songs that generated headlines - and for all the wrong reasons.

Both Ways is a late-night slow jam that details a sexual encounter with two women. "My girl, she like it both ways," Payne sings over a ringing trap beat. "She like the way it all taste / Couple more, we'll call it foreplay / No, no, I don't discriminate."

Within hours of its release last week, the track was being criticised for reinforcing harmful stereotypes that bisexual women's sexualities exist for the gratification of men - a fetishisation that can have violent, real-world consequences.

So far, Payne hasn't responded - but when we spoke last month, before the furore erupted, he said Both Ways was his "favourite song" on the record.

In his explanation, the lyrics are about being open to new experiences and different sexualities, as we emerge into a new "world of 'love is love' and people becoming much more understanding about the way love is - and rightly so".

Payne indicated that the song had originated with one of his co-writers, adding: "I don't know who in the studio had actually been in this situation, because I certainly haven't, but it was an interesting song to write."

Whether or not he addresses the criticism, the song is a blot on his copybook; and a rare mis-step for a singer who's always strived to be on the right side of public opinion.

For a self-confessed perfectionist, its bound to sting; but several times during our discussion, Payne says he's trying to learn from his mistakes, rather than punish himself for making them in the first place.

"My life is super-complicated," he says. "(...) and all sorts of different things kicking off, so I have to drill these messages into my head."

All things considered, would he prefer not to have auditioned for the X Factor all those years ago?

"I wouldn't change it," he says decisively. "I know it's where I'm supposed to be in the world now.

"I was very confused about fame when it all happened; and learning to be a person outside of your job was difficult. But now I feel like I get it. I'm a lucky boy."

Liam Payne's debut album, LP1, is out now on Capitol Records.

#liam payne #bbc news #lp1 #alcohol tw #liam's interviews #both ways #11.12.2019

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aurilis · 4 years ago

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Known you before, chap 5 Fun and fight, part 4

This is not ending well.

The meal went peacefully after that. Carmen chatted a bit with Chase’s mother. She found his smile in her, this warmth in her eyes. The teen decided to purely ignored the father, who had the gentleness to return the favour. Carmen helped clearing the table, before going to the toilets.

“ That’s a good girl you have.” commented Emmeline.

“ Yes, she’s adorable.” smiled Chase.

“ And I can see you share real affection. It’s been ages since I saw you looking so radiant.”

Chase blushed. Meanwhile, Carmen got out of the bathroom … to find Devineaux senior blocking her way. Her first thought was to shelter in her room or call Chase.

“ So. To us now, young lady. Where did you say you were coming from already ?” he made.

“ Chase ! Help !”

“ Well ? Forgot it or … is it not a recommendable place ?”

“ Why does it matter ?” she dared.

“ Because I can tell you’re not all innocent. Because you’re living with my son. Since I’m his father I’d like to know exactly what kind of … person is entering his life.”

Carmen gulped. Every word sounded like a threat.

“ I think Chase is old enough to decide this on his own.”

“ Maybe. But let me be clear about something : if you ever happen to go down the wrong way, in any mean … I’ll handle you myself.” warned Daniel.

“ You’ll what ?!” made a voice behind them.

Chase was here. He swiftly placed himself before Carmen.

“ What did you just say ?” asked angrily Chase.

“ What I had to, since you don’t even stop and question that girl’s origins.” replied Daniel, crossing arms.

“ How is that your business pray tell ? This is MY home, and I get to decide who I shelter. And I sure as hell won’t allow anyone, especially you, to disrespect her, is that clear ?!” yelled Chase.

“ Chase stop !” intervened Carmen, grabbing his arm.

“ What is happening here ?” asked Emmeline, arriving.

“ It’s my business since I’m your father, young man. Still lacking some instinct even now you’re experimented ?”

Chase opened his mouth. Carmen saw pain passing on his face. Anger filled her heart.

“ Daniel ! That was just rude ! Apologize right now !” exclaimed Emmeline.

“ Out.” said Chase.

They all looked at him.

“ That’s it. I’m done with you. You, a father ? Don’t make me laugh. You miserably failed at this. Thus, you don’t have the right to give me any lesson. Now, listen closely you poor excuse for a father : I don’t want to see or even hear about you until further notice.” resumed the young man.

Daniel mid opened his mouth, an emotion like shock displaying on his face.

“ Chase but …” made his mother, shocked as well.

“ Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. My. Home.” resumed the latter.

“ No wait you can’t do this …” tried Carmen.

He tended his arm before her to silence her.

“ I SAID GET OUT !!”

“ You can’t be serious ! Honey, I’m sure your father didn’t mean to …”

“ Oh hell yes he did ! As always ! So nor you get lost or I’ll remove you by force !!” exclaimed Chase.

Daniel turned his back on him. Emmeline tempted one last time to appease the situation, in vain. Her husband left the apartment. Mrs Devineaux sighed. A dreadful silence followed.

“ Better join him mom. Sorry, but that was too much.” said Chase in a calmer voice.

“ You know your father was never really gifted at showing his emotions. But that doesn’t mean he ...”

“ Mom. Please. I don’t care anymore. I had enough with his judgemental behaviour and criticising every little thing about my life.” cut Chase.

“ No it’s not like that, in fact he …”

“ Too late. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Emmeline swallowed. She went to fetch her coat, and asked Carmen to take care of her son. The teen was precisely in complete disarray. It was her fault. Chase just cut ties with his family because of her. The man sighed, rubbing his face.

“ I knew it. I knew it would go that way. It’s always the same with him. Always belittling me, taking me for an idiot who can’t even put two and two together. I know I’m not like him, that I don’t possess his super instinct. Damn ! Why does he always feel the need to remind me how zero I am compared to him ?!” he made.

Carmen didn’t utter a sound. How could this happen ? She was so happy just a few days ago, and now was on the verge of crying.

“ My poor Carmen. Sorry you had to witness it.” continued Chase, turning to her.

She looked at him. He smiled sadly to her. That was more that she could endure today. Her body decided for her : rotating she fled in her room.

“ Hey !” he called.

Chase cursed his father again. Feeling cramped here, he decided to have a walk. Carmen heard the door closing again. She thus let the tears falling.

#carmen sandiego #Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego #carmen sandeigo netflix #chase devineaux #carchase #carmeneaux #chasexcarmen #agent devineaux #inspector devineaux #fanfic

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zetalial · 5 years ago

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I can’t stand Ling

Random rant about how much I dislike Ling Yao. Sorry if you like Ling, I just can’t. Feel free to argue with me if you like - this ended up way, way longer and more detailed than it needed to be. I try not to dwell on characters I dislike so don’t expect a dozen more spite posts - this is a one off. I decided I’d feel better by writing it out.

But I really do dislike him. He annoyed me from the first moment he appeared in episode 15 of BH where he behaves absolutely obnoxiously throughout the entire episode and continued to annoy right up until he got consumed with Greed. And his ending annoyed me.

Part 1 - First appearance

First impression are everything, right? I’m willing to change my mind if a character has hidden depths of course but if their character is plain irritating, that impression tends to last.

Okay, so he’s passed out in a random alley and Ed and Al find him - which is by the way a huge plot contrivance. They’re in Rush Valley in the South and Ling will explicitly tell them that he travelled to Amestris via the Xerxes ruins which are the North-East. And he seems to be heading to Central, there’s no reason for him to be in Rush valley let alone in a random alley alone so Ed and Al can help him. (This is a minor point though, I can deal with a couple of contrivances.)

After Ed and Al help him out, giving him food, he asks about the Philosopher’s stone and Ed tells them they don’t know anything - and the Philosopher’s stone is evil by the way, seeking power from the stone is dangerous - will Ling ever have to question his desire for the Stone and the source of its power? Ha, no.

So Ling decides to sic his ninja bodyguards on Ed and Al! They said they didn’t know anything! Given how rare information on the stone is, that’s completely reasonable but oh Ling just knows that they’re hiding something about it? And thinks attacking two kids he knows nothing about is a great idea?

Lan Fan and Fuu do not hold back either, they use explosives and knives and cause loads of damage in their fight when Ed and Al haven’t even done anything! It’s a cool fight but the circumstances make me hate it! We get a shot of Ling casually eating a big meal while this is all going on to show how little he cares. Oh and he makes Ed pay the bill for it.

When Ed and Al do manage to win, Ling is completely unapologetic and allows Ed to get all the blame for the damages he caused when he sent his people to attack Ed and Al. When Ed comes back to see Winry, she is furious at him for damaging his automail again and Ling’s just there again, casually breaking in to Ed’s place, insisting on tagging along even though Ed tells him not to. Ling doesn’t face a single consequence for any of this by the way. Ling does explain his status here explaining that he wants the Stone to become emperor of Xing which is... yeah still quite a selfish goal.

And then there’s the conversation at the end of the episode where Fuu asks Ling why he’s putting up with Ed and Al, who are beneath him. Eh? This is Ling being nice? Ed and Al have been fairly nice, helping him in that alley, listening to his story and their anger was entirely justified at how obnoxious Ling has been this entire episode. But oh Ling is supposedly bowing his head to someone so far beneath him? Ling realises there’s bigger things than a little humility when his clan’s fate is in the balance? What do appearances matter then?

So you’re telling me that being the most obnoxious and annoying person ever was deliberate? All he achieved was making Ed and Al and me absolutely hate him! I’m going to ignore this conversation about Ling seeming wise and having a bigger plan because it doesn’t match up with anything else in the entire episode.

Now, I don’t mind flawed characters - but Ling never gets called out on any of his behaviour and never gets asked to change. Lan Fan is ridiculously devoted to him right from the beginning and the only way we see it as a flaw is that she’s so defensive she loses her cool just from hearing Ling get insulted. Quite why she is so loyal is never explored and I know she’s only a side character but you know I could really use a legitimate reason to like Ling.

Part 2 - Ling’s leadership?

Okay, his first appearance was just a comedy episode so I’ll just be kind and dismiss it. What’s Ling like when the plot gets a bit more serious then? In Central, Ed and Al hatch a plan to catch a homunculus by getting Scar to attempt to kill them and Ling volunteers to help fight the homunculi while Ed and Al deal with Scar.

So Ling and Lan Fan get into a fight with Wrath and Gluttony and Ling reveals that he’s also a superb fighter too because why not? Like, Lan Fan takes a nasty injury from Wrath but Ling manages to hold him off and runs away while carrying Lan Fan. That’s downright crazy alone - that Ling is such a competent fighter he can hold off Wrath while carrying Lan Fan! Isn’t Lan Fan meant to be the trained bodyguard?

Okay so his fighting skills are ridiculous, fine it’s a shonen anime, everyone can fight, whatever. It’s the conversation with Wrath that really gets to me though.

Wrath tells him that if he let go of Lan Fan, he might have a have a chance of escaping. Ling interprets this weirdly and goes on about how a true ruler cares about his subjects and so would never abandon his people and says that Bradley is no true King.

Shut up Ling. Bradley isn’t hiding behind others here, he’s fighting you one-on-one, not sacrificing minions. And you aren’t Amestrian so you have no reason to know about Bradley’s other decisions as a leader so how can you so confidently criticise him? (Bradley is an interesting character who totally shines when being challenged by the heroes but I hate Ling doing it here.) I mean, isn’t Ling the one who orders his minions to fight while he eats breakfast and lets someone else pay for the consequences?

Okay, so I shouldn’t take that fight seriously because it’s not meant to be serious. How about the current one? Ling volunteered to help with Ed’s plan and that lead to Lan Fan risking her life for him! Sure, Lan Fan agreed because she’s stupidly loyal but this was Ling’s plan and she got hurt! Her injuries are as much his fault as anyone’s.

Ling choosing not to abandon her is nice, sure. But given she got hurt following him, I’d call it being a decent human being, rather than a true paragon of leadership! And that’s if I’m to accept that any of this makes one particularly good for being a leader anyway. Ling is kind of extremely reckless. Did I mention the part where he disappeared on his bodyguards just because, leading them to worry as he was passed out on the street in the middle of Central? And then got arrested? Gosh he’s irresponsible. He is so lucky that worked out so easily.

Bradley doesn’t refute Ling’s words, just saying something about how there are no true kings in this world while Ling attempts to escape, still carrying Lan Fan. And there’s another annoying plot hole here where Lan Fan lets off a flashbomb and Ling takes the chance to escape but Wrath reveals his other eye under the eyepatch, preventing Ling’s escape. And then it cuts to the next scene and... Ling has escaped the room!

He’s still running away from Wrath while carrying Lan Fan and despite how fast Wrath is, Ling manages to get pretty far away somehow. Far enough that Lan Fan successfully cuts off her arm, then they tie it to a dog, and escape through the sewers all before Wrath catches up to him. This whole sequence was all off-screen!

In case we haven’t got enough of Ling being awesome, our next scene of him has him jumping out of the sewers with his shirt off where he proceeds to capture Gluttony. Heh, I guess there’s nothing wrong with that but I can’t help but feel like I’m really supposed to like Ling here and love the badass moments and I cannot. I’m upset that the scene where Ling is forced tie her arm to a dog while Lan Fan is bleeding out beside him was cut as that’s the kind of scene that would get me to actually like him. Not scenes of him being an awesome fighter.

Part 3 - The part I don’t hate

Ling is a character with flaws and room for growth, which is something I can appreciate. But these earlier flaws are presented as just comic relief. That’s what annoys me - I usually like characters who can be obnoxious jerks so long as their flaws aren’t just blatantly laughed off as a joke.

In the next few episode we do get to see a more serious and conflicted Ling. This is Ling at his most interesting. He feels guilty about what Lan Fan’s done for him when he was too weak to do so himself and is determined that her sacrifice has meaning. So he’s got the hero flaw of caring too much.

This leads to an interesting conflict where Ling, Roy and Ed all fight over Gluttony and his philosopher's stone. Ed wants it for Alphonse and points out it was his plan. Roy wants it to heal Havoc. Ling wants it to become emperor and argues about what Lan Fan’s sacrificed so that they could catch the homunculus. Sadly, Gluttony breaks free then so this argument isn’t explored any further here.

At the end of the series we see how they’ve changed in this regard. Ling finally has a stone and even though he’s just lost Greed to another sacrifice, he freely offers the stone to Edward to save Al. Ed refuses. So this stuff is all interesting and I really do wish the conflict and resolution wasn’t so brief (and that Roy wasn’t just given a stone to cure his blindness but I digress.)

Next, Ling gets swallowed by Gluttony and there’s more comedy which is still a touch irritating but not nearly so bad as his first few appearances. Ling collapses again with no energy and this should be serious but it’s still presented as comic again. I can’t take Ling’s fainting spells seriously as it’s played for comedy every. Single. Time. That aside, Ling is at his most tolerable here and it’s interesting how determined he is against Envy in contrast to Ed’s horror at Envy’s true form slowing him down. When they’re out, Ling distrust of Father is also good.

And finally we get to Ling accepting Greed into his body. Again he’s being super-reckless and he’s sort of being called out on this as Ed urges him to fight but Ling decides not to. Again we get this characterisation of Ling as someone willing to surrender and lose face to get what he wants. As he said to Fuu when he first met Ed, appearances don’t matter in the long run. He can bow his head when the situation requires. Fighting Greed here would be pointless.

(This is in contrast to Ed who is prideful and can never accept defeat. In Gluttony’s stomach we see him marching relentlessly onward even though its futile. Later, we see Ed’s growth where he agrees to be Greed’s minion, letting go of his useless pride as he realises he can gain something by humbling himself.)

I wish this was explored a bit more too though. It feels more like Ling’s recklessly jumping at the chance to gain immortality despite having been told repeatedly that its a bad idea and, though it seems like he faces consequences in getting consumed by Greed, it eventually works out quite well for him. (Okay that’s a bit harsh, I love Greed’s struggle.) And it seems like its more like luck than any cleverness on his part, which is kinda irksome with how lucky Ling is generally.

So yeah, I like where he’s serious and gets challenged but I feel like it rarely happens. Ling’s other flaws just feel like they’re all comedy where the joke is that he’s rude and obnoxious and pushy and gets away with it. None of his other appearances stop his personality from grating on me. At the beginning of the series, he thinks he’s going to find the secret to immortality and be a great leader and apparently he’s completely correct. Not that I want him to fail, I just don’t like his initial character when I feel like I’m supposed to and most of the character development with Greedling feels like its solely for Greed. Eh I’ve rambled on enough now.

I actually love Greed’s character, he’s really interesting and I adore his development. My hatred is purely directed at Ling.

#fma #fmab #fullmetal alchemist #Wow this turned out long #heh sorry I ramble #but yeah it's cool if you're a fan of Ling #I just seriously overread into characters sometimes #and my sense of humour isn't suited to fmab #fmab crit #meta #myposts #but sometimes a sour first impression can leave a lasting impact

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pi-cat000 · 6 years ago

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MSA time travel idea (part 27)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Vivi POV, 8, 9, 10, Lewis POV, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, Lance POV 18, 19, Lewis POV 2, 21 , 22, Vivi POV 2, 24, 25 Lewis POV 3

Part 28: here

MYSTERY POV

Mystery watches his youngest charge, Vivi Yukino, strangle her new vehicle's steering wheel and is disproportionately concerned. Human emotional drama is an unfortunately common occurrence and, in his experience, rarely leads to any significant long-term consequences. Usually, its effects are fleeting and far beneath his interests.

When had that changed?

Mystery resists an inclination to climb onto Vivi's lap least he risks distracting her and causing an accident. Instead, he watches, somewhat at a loss, while she glares at the road, tense and obviously worried for her missing friend's wellbeing. The lack of room in the compact truck cab has Mystery squashed between the two humans, giving him a good view of both as they stew in silence, discontent rolling off them in angry waves. Lewis, equally upset by their third member's sudden departure, is staring obsessively at the note Arthur had left behind. Not a habit which denotes a healthy mindset from what Mystery understands. Fortunately, he does not have to worry about distracting Lewis, and he leans his full weight into the other. His leaning gets him a scratch on the head but nothing more. An internal sigh and a minor physical huff of exasperation. There is not a lot a dog can do in these situations aside from offer small comforts. The movement does have the additional desired effect of catching Vivi's attention. Her eyes flick in their direction. A few minutes later and they are pulling into a gas station.

"Lewis. It's your turn to drive," Vivi orders, bringing the truck to a stop next to the appropriate pump. Lewis hastily hides the note and Mystery wonders who he thinks he is fooling with the action.

"Sure. Sorry. Didn't realise we'd been on the road for so long. I would have offered sooner." There is some shuffling while everyone clambers onto solid ground, Vivi waving away the apology.

"Don't worry about it. I kind of like it. It feels like I'm driving a tractor around with how high up it is. You know, when compared to the van."

She holds the door for Mystery to exit. There is a convenient patch of grass adjacent to the gas station, and he knows what she wants of him. One of the few downsides to this dog form is the prerequisite that the humans meet his dog needs. At times such as these, he wishes that the youngest Yukino were aware of his true nature to save her from the additional, unneeded pressure. Luckily, Mystery is probably the best, most well-behaved, dog in existence because he's done and jumping back into the truck before Lewis has finished refuelling.

"Where are you going?" Lewis asks after Vivi, catching her sleeve when she shuts the door on him and turns towards the gas station's attached burger stand. Mystery watches the humans share their small affectionate touches through the closed cab window. There has been a significant increase in this touchy-feely behaviour. Another indicator that all is not well.

"I'm just grabbing breakfast. Lunch. Or whatever," Vivi answers, walking backward a few steps, "You keep filling her up. I'll get the grub."

Lewis nods, "Don't get me anything with meat."

"You're paranoid," Vivi snorts, moving away.

"If you worked in a diner you'd be paranoid too. Not everyone is as clean as my parents," Lewis calls at her retreating form.

"Give a wave when you're done so I can pay for the gas as well," Is Vivi light response. Mystery observes Lewis's dementor deflate the moment Vivi is out of sight. The tall human is staring blankly at the petrol pump, mind obviously far from the task. Mystery places his paws near the window ledge, drawing close to the glass to get a better view. He does not believe he has ever seen the human in such a melancholic state, slumped and drooping. Concerning.

Ding. The pump clicks off, and Lewis does not seem to notice. Mystery, after another mental sigh, gives a loud yip to catch attention. Honestly, these human emotional states seemed to be as much a hindrance as they were a benefit.

Vivi returns not moments later with several packets of fries and three burgers, of which he is fed several meat paddies. All his dog food is gone with the van. It's not a terrible loss, dog food being a close contender for the worst part of being a dog.

As they return to the highway, Mystery can't help but admit that, as much as would criticise humans for their erratic and illogical behaviour, this disturbance has affected him in ways he could not have anticipated. When had Mystery lost that impartial distance, carefully cultivated and maintained over decades of human interactions? When had he started to care for the humans he had long sworn himself to? It has crept upon him like the summer fading slowly to autumn. All those blissful years spent pretending to be a dog and getting showed with attention and affection has blinded him to winters approach. This sense of attachment and concern is more binding than any oath.

Of course, like many of his failures, it is only after the fact and long past the point of return, that he realises his blunder. Mystery cannot deny that he has grown to care. He cares not only for Vivi, a quirk he can attribute to duty, but also for her friends to which he has no obligation. Not only does he care, he cares immensely, about both their physical and emotional wellbeing. It is a grave misstep for a being of his longevity.

Nevertheless, there is nothing to be done now but proceed according to his new priorities. It is a shame that he had not fully realised these priorities before Arthur's flight. Mystery, being the only one to have reason to suspect supernatural foul play, could have perhaps acted to prevent it. After Arthur's bright golden aura had simultaneously doubled in strength while also dulling in colour overnight, Mystery had been on the lookout for some form of interference. The sudden reduction of loving pets, riveting games of fetch-the-stick, and instances of Arthur chattering at him about his current interests, also pointed towards Arthur having realised Mystery's secret. An unfortunate encounter with another being like himself fit somewhat in explaining the sudden aversion to all things supernatural.

Mystery has been biding his time while he worked to discover the extent of the human's new knowledge. He had planned on pulling Arthur aside to offer an explanation, belay any understandable fear, and perhaps find a cause behind his changing aura. Now it is too late, and Mystery is left hoping that Arthur's abrupt exit is a result of human silliness and not something more sinister.

"Viv, can you pull up a map to the hospital. I think that's the sign for the exit," Lewis's deeper voice breaks the silence which has been sitting about them like an itchy blanket for the past several hours. A quick glance at Vivi's watch tells Mystery that it is almost 5 pm and they have been on the road for almost four hours since their last stop. His dog body has gone stiff with disuse. Usually, he would play up his dog persona and whine for a break. Today, he lets the façade rest, if only minimally.

"Oh yeah. Sure," Vivi pulls out her phone and begins typing, "We've been past the hospital a load of times. It's in the middle of town on the far side of Milton High. Near the university and that new research centre."

As she talks, she pulls up the map, and, finding no space for on the cab's cramped dashboard, holds it out for Lewis to see.

"I know," Lewis's eyes flicker to the phone and back to the road. The indicator for the turn signal is flipped on. "But I don't think I've ever actually been to the hospital. And this truck is harder to drive than the van, so there's more risk of me taking a wrong turn and getting lost."

Vivi nods in agreement, exhaling, propping up her arm so she can continue to hold the phone for Lewis, "You know, I bet this truck is close to the same weight as the van when you add up all the crap we carry around, but the van handles a million times smoother. Wonder why that is?"

"Arthur does work on it obsessively. Maybe that has something to do with it?" Lewis points out before lapsing into silence his face pinched up in that strained way it does when he thinks of something unpleasant. Silence once again falls over the group.

A traffic jam only servers to sour already frayed nerves, making Vivi jitterily and irritable and Lewis increasingly dourer. Thankfully, the negative vibes put out by the humans mostly disperses upon Vivi pointing out their destination fast approaching on the horizon. The pick-up truck, being too long for any of the hospital's provided parking, means they are forced to circle the block several times over. They find a rest space outdoors, and a five-minute walk from their destination. Mystery watches in slight bewilderment as the humans take exemptional offence to the setback. More erratic human behaviour. Concerning.

The sooner they find their third member, the sooner all his charges can re-establish an equilibrium amongst each other, allowing his own worry and concern to abate. Then- after seeing to whatever supernatural force is interfering with Arthur-he can begin restoring his distance. As much as Mystery has adored watching this small group grow into a family unit, building their positive emotional bonds and being included among them, these erratically negative mood shifts are a harsh reminder that humans are as fickle as they are short-lived.

Mystery releases a tiered snuff, allowing Vivi to carry him against her chest, to hasten the crossing of several intersections all crawling with various forms of transport. Humans did have a tendency towards packing themselves onto smaller and smaller plots of land.

"Excuse me! Mam! Madam!"

Their entry into the hospital is barred by a thin man in uniform grey. The stranger steps suddenly into Vivi's path and Mystery has half a mind to growl in annoyance.

"There are no animals allowed in the hospital. You'll have to leave the dog outside."

"What," Vivi almost barges straight into the stranger, and Mystery feels her grip tighten slightly in irritation, "Crap. Right. Forgot about that."

She swears again under her breath. Once again, Mystery is reminded of this form's disadvantages. Like the now fretting Vivi, he too forgets that dogs are often not welcome into human buildings.

"You go ahead," Vivi is speaking to Lewis, who hovers to the side, "I'll take Mystery back to the truck."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. Go find Arthur. That's more important. This should only take me ten minutes."

When Lewis hesitates for a second too long she continues with a sympathetic hum, "I'll probably beat you to the room anyway, even with a head start. Hospitals are like mazes and your sense of direction is terrible."

A disgruntled but amused frown follows the joke. Lewis protests briefly, "That's a bit unfair. I only got lost once," turning. He continues into the building while Vivi spins, a few choice words of discontent directed at the still staring security guard, and powerwalks back in the direction they'd just come. They cut across several roads, dodging people and cars alike.

It is not until they are back at the pick-up truck, Vivi having placed him on the ground so she can retrieve keys, that Mystery smells the tangy scent of a human who has had dealings with creatures not of this plane. A quick glance around and it is easy to spot the offending person. The man's aura is warped and stained in several places, and he's watching Vivi from several paces away. Mystery immediately lets out a small growl to alert Vivi to the potential danger. Usually, he would ignore such tainted humans, their presence, while not common, is hardly strange. Humans had an unfortunate tendency towards messing around with forces beyond their understanding. Today, with all the drama, he is on edge.

Vivi's attention snaps to him and then to their surroundings in search of his enacted distress. The man, wearing a scuffed leather jacket and donning an aggressive expression, pushes himself forward upon their combined attention. Mystery notes the wrappings and sling, holding one arm secured, signalling severe injury. The smell of blood and infection confirms his suspicion. With a significant amount of facial bruising, this man is looking awfully mangled in Mystery's expert opinion.

"Hey. You got a moment?" The beat-up human asks in a gruff voice. Mystery growls from down by Vivi's feet to discourage any potential aggression. The action gets him a quick once over and nothing more.

"Saw you arrive with that dude in purple, spotin the purple hair-do. He doesn't work at that weird-ass diner in Tempo, does he? Called 'Pepper and salt' or whatever."

"Do I know you?" Vivi asks shorty, putting both hands on her hips, glaring.

The action gets a grunted, "No. But you might know the guy I'm after. Goes by the name of Arthur. That ring any bells?"

NOTE: Guess which character it is! Just kidding, there's only one supporting character left alive at this point (unless you count Claire the receptionist) so not a huge pool to guess from. Note to self: introduce larger supporting cast in early chapters. Anyway, thanks for the comments on the last part it was genuinely encouraging to see people enjoying sections with heavier character introspection. I wasn't sure about this Mystery POV, so thanks again for giving me the push needed to finish it off. On a somewhat related note, sorry about the wait between parts, it's that time of the semester where everything is due, so updates on this fic are going to be super slow for the next few months. Trust me when I say that I'd pick writing fanfiction over work, essays and exam study any day of the week :(

Part 28: here

#MSA #mystery skulls animated #fanfiction #fanfic #Lewis pepper #Vivi Yukino #mysery #introspective #angst #traffic was the real villain #mystery the dog

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pass-the-bechdel · 6 years ago

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Marvel Cinematic Universe: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Six (31.57% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Entertaining, but overrated.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Though Nebula and Gamora trade a couple of lines on a few occasions, they invariably speak about either Thanos, or Ronan.

Female characters:

Meredith Quill.

Bereet.

Nebula.

Gamora.

Carina.

Nova Prime.

Male characters:

Mr Quill.

Peter Quill.

Yondu Udonta.

Ronan.

Korath.

Rocket.

Groot.

The Broker.

Drax.

Thanos.

The Collector.

Denarian Saal.

Denarian Dey.

OTHER NOTES:

Seatbelts on spaceships should really be mandatory.

Aahahahaha Peter has a woman on his ship whose name he can’t remember and whom he forgot was even there! Oh, it’s so funny and charming! What a classic misogynistic cliche intro! Garbage.

Rocket chastises Groot to ‘learn genders’, and I don’t think the irony of a raccoon (a species with almost no visually-evident sexual dimorphism) saying that to a tree-person (whose species - if sexually dimorphic at all - certainly has no reason to adhere to the humanoid/mammalian model) is deliberate. The other alien higher-life-forms they encounter in the film are pretty uniformly human in appearance (not much effort going on in the ‘alien’ department besides just painting people in bright colours), but lack of imagination from the creative team doesn’t mean that the binary gender system we’re accustomed to on Earth has any broad bearing on the galaxy at large.

Aaahh, and now Peter is explaining his scars to Drax, with lovely stories of women he cheated on in the past because he’s ~such a stud~.

Thanos tells Ronan off for his dull political raging and whiny behaviour, but he’s sitting on a shiny floating throne himself, so I’m not sure he’s earned the right to criticise what other people have got going on.

Rocket suggests that Gamora trade sexual favours to get things from other prisoners, because we’re being Like That with this movie.

The Collector keeps female slave ‘assistants’, whom he evidently treats so nicely that Carina commits suicide by infinity stone at the first opportunity in order to escape him. We’re just doing so well for the ladies in this film.

As a great comedic beat, Drax calls Gamora a “green whore”. It’s both a shitty line, and nonsensical, since Drax isn’t supposed to comprehend metaphors and he has no reason to believe Gamora is a literal ‘whore’ (nor is he likely to use such a colloquial term, considering the calibre of his standard vocabulary). Basically, it’s a rubbish line from every angle, and all in service of a misogynistic joke.

This film is a terrible waste of Djimon Hounsou.

Ronan is very theatrically over-the-top in his pronouncements, but Lee Pace does his damnedest to make it work on delivery.

Why does Ronan’s flashy purple infinity stone weapon not kill people when he shoots them with its energy blast? Obviously it would be terribly inconvenient to the story if he just casually killed all the good guys, but honestly. It doesn’t make much sense. They coulda at least pretended there was a reason.

The part of me that is susceptible to acts of heroism is affected by the guardians all joining hands to share the stone’s power. Not enough to feel that the film or the character relationships actually connected on an emotional level, but enough that this ending doesn’t feel totally unearned.

Drax patting Rocket’s head while he’s crying over Groot is a lovely touch. THAT is the strongest character interaction of the film.

So. I’ll be honest: I don’t like this movie. I don’t think it works. I think it’s essentially just a string of gimmicks, loosely attached, entertaining enough on the surface but with no meaningful depth to hold in the mind or keep the audience engaged once the credits kick in (it’s also much heavier on the sexist tropes than any other MCU film previous). I don’t hate it, but it doesn’t give me anything that I value in a viewing experience, it just happens and then ends and that’s it. And the reason it doesn’t work is, frankly, the writing is lazy as shit. It makes a sub-par effort at establishing character and thus relies heavily on cliches, it rarely bothers to incorporate relevant plot and motivations and such into the story at early points in order to generate narrative pay-off, and the world-building is hazy at best and, like the characterisation, trades predominantly on expectation of stereotypes rather than actually creating anything original.

Let’s start in the obvious place: with our lead character. I’m tempted to just say ‘Peter Quill is garbage’ and then move on, because it’s true and also, he’s just not complex or interesting at all, which is ridiculous because he’s got that whole ‘alien abduction’ origin story and there should be like, literally any layers at all to his story instead of him just being an obnoxious Lothario who makes pop culture references like that counts as having a personality. But, here we are. I’m not familiar with the comics so I don’t know if this is a common complaint from fans who can’t believe their boy got all his nuances deleted in favour of such an inane cliche, but if this is exactly what Quill is like in the comics too? That’s no excuse. Part of the magic of adaptation is the opportunity to improve upon things the source material did wrongly or badly. The Quill we’ve got here in this movie is such a bland template he’s almost functionally useless; he barely impacts the story at all, especially in any way that is relevant to his personality or skills and necessitates his presence (the dance-off distraction is the only good Quill moment, and it’s also one of the few inspired choices in the whole film). At the end of the day, Quill exists so that the story has a Main Guy, being a straight white American male (and making sure we all, excessively, know about it), because God forbid we be expected to identify with anyone else. I have heard people sing the praises of the film for ‘subverting cliche’ by not having Quill and Gamora actively hook up by the end, as if that somehow makes it better that every single other aspect of that tedious forced romance plot is still squarely in place and set to play out in future films (pro tip: if the main guy still ‘gets the girl’, only it doesn’t happen in the first film, that’s not subversive. That’s still playing the trope dead-straight). Quill not immediately being shown to be rewarded with sex is not some incredible feat of original storytelling, and it certainly doesn’t absolve him of being a dime-a-dozen pig of a character. If that’s the most ‘unexpected’ character element you can cite, you’re in dire straits.

Now, I’m not gonna talk about every character individually, because in most cases there’s not much to talk about; Drax is the big warrior guy with the Fridged Family backstory we’ve seen so many times before it elicits zero (0) emotions now; Groot - though an interesting idea on paper - is basically just a Deus Ex Machina of whatever ability is most useful at any given moment, too ill-defined to have boundaries to his powers and conveniently not using his full potential whenever it would allow the characters to win too easily; and Rocket, well, Rocket is actually the only one of the leads who manages any meaningful nuance, which is unfortunate because most of the time he’s just used for sarcastic comic relief. The other character I am going to talk about is Gamora, and it’s because she’s a prime example of how this movie fails to establish things so that they feel like they actually matter or the character’s motivations are understandable, etc. We are introduced to Gamora when she overrides Ronan’s order for Nebula to retrieve the orb from Xandar; as it turns out, Gamora’s introductory moment (literally the first time we see her or hear her speak) is also her act of rebellion when she puts into action her plan to escape Thanos’ clutches and go her own way. The problem, obviously, is this is her introduction. We’ve never seen this character before, we’ve only just met Ronan and Nebula as well, Thanos is barely more than a concept, as is the planet Xandar and the politics around it. Nothing has been established yet about the life that Gamora occupies, so her ploy to escape it? Meaningless. We don’t even find out that Gamora was not planning to retrieve the orb for Ronan until she tells us so after she’s been arrested, and we have literally no reason to believe her because we don’t know her yet because her character has not been established at all. The traditional way to do this would be to show her in her old life, doing as she’s told and/or witnessing terrible things being done by her compatriots, and showing the audience that she has clear misgivings so that when she turns, we understand the context and can believe that’s a logical character decision based on established personality and morals (think of Finn’s introduction in The Force Awakens for a textbook example). Because no time or effort is ever invested in establishing who or how Gamora is, everything we know is delivered to us directly in dialogue, all tell, no show, and what could easily have been the film’s most dynamic character is instead hampered by having her development choked off to avoid spending time on letting her origins matter (despite the fact that those origins are essential to the plot).

On which note, lets talk bad guys. Thanos first, because there’s not much to say, and that’s not a good thing: Thanos is actually pointless to this film, the only reason he’s there is so that the MCU can use him to actual purpose in later films and his relation to Gamora and Nebula and the hunt for the Infinity Stones needs to be established first, but as with everything else this movie is terrible at establishing things effectively. Consequently, Thanos...just floats around on a chair, and then Ronan tells him to piss off and we don’t see or hear from him again in the rest of the film, and there’s no real effort made to integrate Thanos into the story so that he seems like anything other than a dead-end subplot cluttering up the movie for no reason. The closest Thanos gets to anything notable is when he chides Ronan for his boring politics, but even that is symptomatic of the wider problem with this movie’s lazy writing: Ronan’s whole character is essentially just another dull archetype - in this case, the extremist villain - and a solid nothing at all is done to establish his politics or what they mean, other than death for the people we’re told are the innocents. This is a problem with the world-building of the film as a whole, because none of the galaxy’s politics is fleshed out, there’s no context to why the Kree have a problem with Xandar or why we should care, and Xandar kinda gets treated like the centre of the universe but it also seems that’s just for convenience sake so that the plot can return to a previous location for the final act. Hell, I haven’t the faintest fucking idea where Earth is supposed to fit in to all of this, other characters talk about it so it’s clearly a known quantity to the rest of the galaxy, and yet no one knows any details about it and Quill never bothered to go back there for reasons which really SHOULD be explored and yet are not even mentioned (that would seem like some of that characterisation he doesn’t have), so I don’t know what we’re supposed to interpret from that. I’m not confident that the creative powers bothered to think about it, considering how much they didn’t think about anything else. This is a movie where ‘human, but painted’ passes for ‘alien’ and society apparently functions exactly like Earth, tedious misogyny and all, despite the absence of cultural sharing to explain the Earthlike similarities (and boy oh boy do I HATE the laziness of science fiction where everything being identical to Western culture on Earth is treated like it’s ‘just the natural order’ that should be expected to develop in any sentient species, instead of a complex system shaped by unique and varied influences over thousands of years and dependent upon environment, religion, philosophy, and a myriad of other factors not replicated in these poorly-drawn ‘alien’ cultures. I get that you’ve gotta employ at least some shorthand in order to get on and tell your story within time constraints, but come on. If you’re not gonna think about world-building at all, don’t set the story on an alien planet). Above all else, we know that Ronan is the villain because he’s painted (literally) as one; he’s the bad guy through visually-indicated othering, because we all know good guys don’t look like that (whereas most of Ronan’s enemies on Xandar are just regular-looking white folks. Curious...). Sure, Ronan is also introduced spouting rhetoric and then smashing a dude with a hammer, and that seems like villain behaviour, but that only reinforces the point: Ronan’s role is made unmistakable through age-old tropes, and it’s never explored or subverted or made dynamic from there. Like Quill as the ‘hero’, Ronan is a dime-a-dozen cliche.

So anyway. Lets talk plot. This one goes like so: Quill collects the orb from Morag, where he coincidentally runs into Korath and company who just-so-happen to be after the orb at the same time (how it is that multiple interested parties only just found out that one of the most powerful destructive forces in the universe is just chillin’ on this abandoned planet, they don’t bother to explain). Quill runs into both Gamora, and Rocket and Groot, the other parties happening to be after him for different reasons and coincidentally converging on Xandar at the same point. Everyone gets arrested and sent to prison, where they meet Drax and promptly escape and fly to Knowhere so that The Collector can exposition-dump about Infinity Stones. Drax calls Ronan up, just literally straight-up calls the bad guy to come and find them because I guess figuring out a normal plot reason for the villain to catch up with the good guys was too hard, so we had to go for extreme stupidity instead. Ronan gets the orb and goes back to Xandar to destroy it, and our main characters figure they should stop that, so they do. Roll credits. Now, you can make pretty much any story sound basic and stupid by breaking it down into its component pieces, but the important thing to note about this layout is how many convenient or just plain stupid aspects there are. There are almost no character meetings or story developments that come about logically through the sensible development of plot driven by character’s motivations springing from established narrative, etc, and part of that problem is absolutely because there’s so little established character/world-building to begin with, but it’s also because whatever there is tends to apparate when it is needed without any sign of existing beforehand; that is, very little of the story is seeded early on so that it can come to fruition later in a narratively satisfying fashion. The Nova Corps sentence the characters to the Kyln prison as if it’s a big scary concept, but we’ve never heard of it before so we have no reason to consider it trouble. Drax appears and other characters literally tell us why we should pay attention to him, instead of him being, say, pre-established (SUCH AS by having his family tragedy shown on screen as a dual-establishing event for him and Ronan, or something to which Gamora was privy in some way in order to intro her misgivings as discussed above, or even just having someone reference the legend of Drax the Destroyer BEFORE getting to the Kyln (you could also, y’know, establish the Kyln itself in talking about how Drax was sent there. Just saying)). Intro the idea of Knowhere and/or The Collector BEFORE heading there so that it’s less convenient for Gamora to just-happen to have a buyer already set up for the item we didn’t even know she had planned to steal as part of the escape plot we didn’t know she was hatching. For the love of everything, establish some actual REASON for Ronan to follow our characters to Knowhere, instead of just ‘Drax got drunk and called him’. Link the pieces of your story together with concepts and developments that build upon each other in a narrative progression. That’s the difference between having a plot, and having a string of chronological set pieces (some of which - like Morag and the Kyln - don’t even have a purpose anyway beyond providing some action-scene opportunities).

Before I close this out, I just want to run through a little exercise to demonstrate something that you never, ever want to happen in a story. You never want to have a lead character who can be deleted from the plot without leaving a hole too big to be easily filled by the rest of the cast. But what happens if Peter Quill is removed from this story? Well, pretty much all of the misogyny disappears, so that’s a plus. Someone else is gonna have to retrieve the orb from Morag, but we could easily send Rocket and Groot to do that. Gamora can still fight with them on Xandar exactly as it happens in the actual movie, only this time it’s not just pure coincidence that they conflict. We saved vital time that the film spent on Quill’s inconsequential childhood abduction (and we could save more on trimming the pointless action on Morag), which is time that could be better spent on all that other establishing crap I was talking about earlier, tightening up the narrative. Quill doesn’t serve any important purpose in the Kyln, so we can remove him from that no problem, nor does he matter on Knowhere other than a frankly stupid and ultimately pointless moment when he saves Gamora (definitely unnecessary when we’re removing the romantic subplot bullshit along with Quill). And then what? The characters agree that not letting Ronan destroy the galaxy is probably a good call (not Quill-relevant), they head back to Xandar, fight some bad guys, hold hands, win the day. We lose Quill’s only good moment in the form of the dance-off, but it’s an acceptable loss in order to strengthen the entire rest of the film by deleting the most meaningless character: the lead. We also arguably lose the Ravagers in the process, but as much fun as Yondu is, the plot can also survive completely intact without him (the only time the Ravagers matter is for the previously-identified useless damsel contrivance with Quill saving Gamora, and then they do help out on Xandar in the end, but they aren’t necessary for that - the Nova Corps could have been expanded just a smidge and taken care of everything). On the other hand, if you remove Gamora, you lose the connection to Ronan/Thanos as well as the moral compass of the Guardians; some other character would have to be significantly altered to fill the gap. You lose major Deus Ex Machina skills without Groot, and without Rocket someone else’s narrative has to change in order for Groot to have a buddy (plus you need a new mastermind for various plans, though that’s an easier hole to fill). You skip Drax and you do lose a major plot development in the form of him drunk-dialling Ronan, but admittedly that’s one of the worst things in this whole dumb waste of a movie, so maybe it’s not such a loss. You could ditch Drax. But, that’s not important, because Drax isn’t packaged as the leading man: Quill is. If you delete Drax, you don’t really streamline or improve the story (you could fix the one big flaw in his character very easily, he doesn’t have to disappear for that). You delete Quill...I know, comic book adaptation, dropping the main character is not considered an acceptable alteration when you’re improving the story for the screen. But come on. The least they could do is make him actually matter, not just be a perfunctory inclusion for the sake of sticking this ‘weird sci-fi’ as firmly in the centre of over-done cliche as a lazy gimmick story ever could be. There are a few chuckles to be had with this film, and it’s not entirely boring, but it’s not half as endearing nor even an eighth as inspired as it thinks it is. I’m not impressed by any of it.

#Guardians of the Galaxy #Bechdel Test #female representation #Marvel Cinematic Universe #MCU

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