#no one wants to be like addison cain

[olderthannetfic]

/765950159275409408 does this anon think het and slash fic exist in totally separate spheres and nobody reads both?? het guideverse is nothing new. there's het guideverse fic in the Twilight fandom. imagining that het fic readers/writers are all heterosexual themselves, or some mystical separate species who gleefully twirl their het mustaches as they trawl slash fic spaces for things to 'steal' and for no other reason, is completely ludicrous. hell, do they think only queer people watched Sentinel?

I understand worrying about the context collapse that happens when fic gets pulled to publish/when fandom tropes/premises like omegaverse get Addison Cained, but like. we're only playing into her hands and validating her feeble defense (which no one believed anyway!) when we treat het and slash fic like distant prehistoric island communities where never the twain shall meet. news flash: the hets are reading your slash and the queers are writing hetfic. I for one don't think we need to start new biphobic discourse about who is and isn't allowed to write guideverse. worry about serial number filer-off-ers if you want, but don't expect anyone to believe that's a uniquely evil het thing.

--

I hope we're past the era when goofy-ass terms like 'bitextual' make sense.

[thr4shit]

Intro Time!!!

WELCOME TO OUR HELL BLOG!

Formerly @/thedancingclowns ! Now @/thr4shit !!

(Last updated Apr 24, 2025)

Call us Thrash or Vannie collectively, please!

(We also go by *Vans, but primarily Thrash or Vannie. Thrash is more formal :] )

*Vans being pronounced similar to Vance btw, ans we will also be fine with being called Vance.

we use he/ey/it mostly! Depends.

USERBOXES AND BLINKIES!! FUCK YEAH!!

HELP PALESTINE 🇵🇸

(and see other blogs for more resources! I do not compile them on this site/app!)

[ list of sideblogs, DNI list, human synopsis, and more below cut!! ]

Human synopsis:

We are a system, we have several neurodivergencies. We like to at least attempt to create stuff and have for pretty much our whole life, we're trying to be a functional grown being. Our body's birthday is April 22. We are interested in film and writing, and plan on making a movie or series at some point in our life. And we're learning about/beginning to practice Polytheistic Paganism! We primarily worship Hecate and Bastet!

Tag stuff!! :

If anyone in specific gets very "Yeah, this is something I posted" they'll typically tag it # [headmate name] shenanigans or # [headmate name] posting and their source's tag if applicable/if they want to.

Stuff about me (unshortened):

my name is Vans (I go by Vannie or Thrash), I am here to like fanart and writing and cool people (and also memes sometimes) while posting the most random shit known to humankind, I prefer not to share my age here we're bodily an adult. That's all you get. I am a system, a mess romantically and sexually... I am also a poly fictkin, therian and otherkin! So I DO identify as nonhuman/alterhuman *but don't mind being called human terms*, I call people man/dude/bro gender neutrally (sorry bout that), I can rapidly or aggressively switch between apathy and CRUSHINGLY high empathy, I have quite the handful of experiences in terms of our brain doing weird shit (most of it likely not falling within range of what we've been diagnosed or recognized for struggling with, unfortunately) and our body's birthday is April 22nd.

DNI/DNF stuff

Racism, Homo/Trans/LGBTQ+phobia, Ace exclusionists, "MAP", TERF, pure NSFT blogs, anti-kin/anti-therian, anti-agre, anti-petre, NSFW agre/petre, *Syscource, Transmed, anti EDUCATED self dx, try to force religion on others, anyone who is anti-palestine, religious extremists, political extremist, support censorship or harrassment of or over fiction

*[We're endo neutral, so while we're fine with both pro and anti endos, we WILL block freely if we feel uncomfortable with your way of interacting with those with opposing views.]

Do not stop fighting, we have to make things right. Free Palestine, etc, etc. Do NOT let this world continue its fall to shit.

PFP, and userboxes do not belong to me.

[Excluding the boop king/lord blinkies, which were made by us.]

Sideblogs!!

@thr4shdoes-selfships our selfshipping side!

@connecticut-sexyman a very inactive blog that we don't remember the purpose of other than the silly name.

@habitual-creatures our emH (Evan and HABIT) rp ask blog [ft. Some T12 people and others!!]

@everymanvenom side blog for all of our EverymanVENOM AU dabblings and stuff!!! this is an EverymanHYBRID x Venom crossover AU sideblog! (VERY INACTIVE, WILL UPDATE THINGS WHEN WE GET MOTIVATION/INSPIRATION!!)

@thekids-onholiday our request sideblog that we made a while back [that we just now feel comfortable linking back to our main.]

@the-kevcorn3r Kevin's personal blog !!

@theamazingdigital-place Caine's and somewhat Kinger's personal blog so he doesn't retheme ours !

@archivalist-chaos a sideblog for the.chaotic tma and tmagp fucks in here.

@a-drbrightshenanigan a sideblog for Bright and his music and other shenanigans.

@what-an-imitati0n a TMA OC-ish rp blog!!! Idk! It exists! See stimboard based on the primary OC of this sideblog here!

dead blogs:

@iamdevouring-god - deactivated Sally Face rp blog, where I portrayed the Endless One / Addison.

@a-wildkinventure - deactivated kin sideblog

[obsidianpen]

(Not offended if you don’t post this pen/and/or disagree, this can be just for you if you want) but PSA that Grey is posting on her Insta that the screenshots from The Document are lacking *context*, that of course this person didn’t include the version that made her look like an asshole, and that she has loads and loads of proof to the contrary.

Also, on her insta, Greyana shared an Ao3 comment someone left today on her story reading “Soo.. did you just download Blood and Gold & Altered State, put it into AI and come up with this bullshit? What the actual fuck.”

quick PSA that imho leaving hateful comments on Greyana’s work is not a great idea at all and imho further victimizes her and her mentality while this all gets sorted out.

the best thing we can discuss is share the Google document (truth) and the facts of what Greyana has done to mods of Reddit/Discord/Facebook to disallow what she’s done in Fandom spaces.

There will be people who inevitably like her work still. There are a lot of examples of people engaging with authors work even when authors are not good/doing bad things. there’s people who buy Addison Cain (a romance novelist who has immersed herself in lawsuits trying to lay claim to A/B/O), there’s people who loveeee Fourth Wing despite Rebecca Yarros’s Mormon mommy blog which is full of very interesting opinions. And, in our own fandom, many HP fans still purchase JKR’s works even with her anti trans activism. Plus all that’s coming out about Neil Gaiman! (To be clear these aren’t equivocal of Greyana, but pointing out many authors have a long and problematic history and we can and should discuss their bad behavior openly in the right spaces without harassing them personally and leaving cruel comments)

ObsidianPen doesn’t make money off of her amazing work and Greyana doesn’t either (right?). Don’t spread hate to our authors, spread facts in our community spaces.

Personally, I didn’t like Greyana’s story for style reasons. And this was long before I had learned of the discourse around her, but I’m not going to comment hateful things to her on her Ao3, her FB, her Insta, because that empowers her.

The best thing we can do is let the facts speak loud and proud in our communities, and let Grey fade into obscurity with whatever fans are loyal enough to remain. Or maybe change, which I think someone else here mentioned earlier. Although who the fuck knows lmao

tldr: as we have discourse, we can call out bad behavior in the right spaces but as a fandom, it’s best to avoid harassing Greyana

do with this what you will Pen, I respect the daylights out of you, and your work and contribution to the community. I will not be offended if you disagree, and if you disagree vehemently, this is your damn tumblr and you do as you please 👏

going to share this one because I completely agree with you (don’t talk to me about Neil gaiman rn I can’t, and I wasn’t even a huge fan to begin with but it still hurts!). This feels like a great post to leave this whole thing on, so I’ll respond and then I am, yet again, done with the Greyana shit (lord I hope, it’s so tiring.)

I don’t give a single shit what she posts on her Instagram stories or whatever tf (typing that sentence made me physically cringe; have I ever said anything more embarrassing? Surely not) and I will not be seeking it out (I cringed again). She knows where to find me if she wants to chat! ;) And I agree, I don’t think anyone should be sending her hateful comments. I also agree that we should stick to sharing her documented toxic behavior when appropriate, and that’s it. There will of course be people who still like her fics, as you said, and that’s their choice! I would have never batted an eye about her myself (I didn’t even know who she was until the whole AI thing was sent to me) if I hadnt sort of suddenly had many stories shared with me from many different people about their experiences being attacked and harassed (including myself, I learned!). It’s hard to not respond emotionally when you see such god awful behavior. But we shouldn’t.

I’m not going to respond to the rest of the asks I have in my inbox about this topic (for now, and hopefully forever, faaaaaahck I hate this), but know that I’ve seen them and appreciate them. I’m glad speaking up helped as many as it did. 💖💖💖💖

[hitchell-mope]

Ten unpopular Grey’s Anatomy opinions.

Bear in mind I binge watched up to season 15 a few years back and now I’m live blogging it episode by episode every month. I’m up to season four now. And I’ve read ahead so I know a few plot points which will be referenced in this post. Plus. As always. Some of these will be changed as I watch more of the show. Also. If you don’t like this post. Don’t read it.

I hate Izzie Stevens. She should have died instead of George and Lexie and Derek and Andrew. Every character that I like who died. Izzie should have died instead.

Addison and Mark had an extramarital affair. Derek is the victim of their cheating. He was well within his rights to treat them with scorn and anger. And the fact that everyone else expected Derek to forgive Addison and stay married to her pisses me off to no end.

I remember liking Amelia when I first watched her episodes. IIRC she was number two right behind Miranda. But there’s a chance that will change. Partly due to the Caine Instinct. And partly because I really hate this thing where a decent man is turned into a bigot to facilitate his ex girlfriend/wife’s journey of self discovery.

I understand why people don’t like Owen. I also understand why people probably don’t like Preston, his actor’s crappy behaviour aside. But I’m on their side. Deciding to have children is a two way street. No woman should be forced to be a mother. But by that same token. If a man wants to have a big family and a woman doesn’t want children at all. They should break up. Because that is clearly a cut and dry case of irreconcilable differences. And it annoys me that the only way the writers could think of breaking Owen and Cristina up was by having him cheat on her. Also. With regard to a certain comment Owen once made. How many people have said that most hurtful thing imaginable in the heat of an argument? Owen is no different to anyone else in that hospital. They’re all flawed and shitty in their own way. Don’t single out Owen unless you’re willing to do the same to everyone else. After all. Owen isn’t the only fuckup in the cast.

I like Jackson. I like April. But growing older means that I understand now that April was TERRIBLE for Jackson. From freaking out over sleeping with him to abandoning him when they were grieving their dead son. I known that they’re a popular couple but I just can’t ship them. Also. I find it absolutely abhorrent that Jackson had to pay reparations to the women his grandfather attacked when Catherine was the one who covered it up for decades. If you ask me the award should be called the Jackson Avery not Catherine Fox.

I remember liking Arizona but the fact of the matter is that she was biphobic towards Callie. And Callie should never have tried to take Arizona back after she cheated on her.

My apologies to Amelia but Meredith was right in season 12. Amelia lost her brother. But Meredith lost her husband and the father of her children. So no. Meredith was under no obligation whatsoever to talk about Derek’s death with Amelia.

Looking back on it I hate all three of Richard Webber’s love interests. Adele, Ellis and Catherine. For vastly different reasons. But still. I hate them.

I didn’t hate the jaggie pairing. It was quite fun while it lasted.

If that blonde bitch Stevens ever comes back. Jo should kill her with a hammer. It’s what the cow deserves for taking Alex away from Jo and from us.

There’s probably more. But that’s all I can think of at the moment. So that’s all you get for now.

[thelonelywiz]

DRASTIC TIMES.

“It wasn’t the city who was poisoning her after all. It was me.”

SYNOPSIS.

Detective KASPER MONTE makes a mad dash out of Los Angeles after pulling his sister out of the muck. Again. BLAIR MONTE, an infamous criminal, unfortunately can’t talk her way out of this one. The twins must drive across the country to a safe haven in the American Southwest, confront the dynamic they share, face their own identities, and find their place in the world.

States away in a holy rolling town in Missouri, DELIA WRIGHT struggles to break out of her shell and make the hardest decision of her life: run away for her and her daughter’s safety and threaten her tense relationship with God, or appease her abusive husband and keep up her good Christian lifestyle for everyone’s sake. 

Right on Kasper’s trail, Detective REX slowly unravels the twists and turns that is his friend’s past. Along the way, Rex encounters an orphan girl who’s seen more than she should, and as she tags along he must figure out what it means to have a family of his own, and if his mission is really worth it.

In this nonlinear NEO-NOIR film, one must either live with the consequences or learn to take some drastic measures.

NOTES.

Started: September 2022

Format: screenplay

Word/page count: 160 pages

Genre: neo-noir crime drama

Themes: identity, family, morality, the cycle of violence, love, hope

Content warnings: child abuse & domestic abuse (implied and on screen), transphobia & homophobia, gun violence & death surrounding guns, stranglation, child endangerment, on screen car accident

CHARACTERS.

Kasper Monte (he/him): The classic hard-boiled detective minus the attraction to women. Very overprotective of his sister and has at least two friends.

Blair Monte (she/her): The femme fatale that has so much guilt. She’s like Cain if he was a woman and also slayed so fucking hard.

Delia Wright (she/her): The housewife, Kasper’s parallel and Blair’s love interest. She’s like Carrie if she loved to be in her late 20s.

Detective Rex (he/him): Kasper’s foil who’s also a little in love with him. He’s a good person but not a good cop, but not for the reason you think.

Thelma Bell (she/her): A preteen in desperate need of a father figure. She’s like Ellie TLOU if she were mixed.

Addison Wright (she/her): Literally just a baby who loves her mama. Number one Tupac stan, she doesn’t mind that he swears.

FURTHERMORE…

This post is very unserious but this script is so unhinged I really can’t take it too seriously or else I will lose my mind /pos, the script is basically done. All I’m doing now is adding scenes and fixing typos. If anyone wants to read the script hmu…join me in the madness /hj

Soundtrack: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/20EdHFqCd3UNkVCuMbLFy0?si=6e25dbe1c2234afa

Pinterest board: https://pin.it/24p3vhA0o

Tags: #drastic times

Taglist: @calenhads, @thelittlestspider, comment or write in the tags if you want to be added to the taglist :D

[possibilistfanfiction]

your latest rebloghad me snickering i never have understood the obsession with her. anything youve been listening to lately that you rec for someone looking for something new?

ok before anyone comes for me lmfao i do want to say that i generally find her music mostly fine, sometimes good, occasionally a song will make me absolutely feral for no discernible reason lol. i think she's an eco-terrorist basically but like... her music is fine & ppl being normal fans is... normal lol

what is BEYOND to me is when ppl will literally like... post abt her like she's their friend, or defend her music when like sometimes artists u like make mediocre shit! that's fine! lol like i have two lorde tattoos & i do think overall as a project solar power is beautiful & cool but was it earth-shattering like pure heroine or melodrama? no! which is fine! i don't need it to be! i also have no idea what lorde is doing day to day lol

also i will say i love pop. i love being a fan of pop. i think the world runs on pop music & it should! i named my dog after charli xcx! not everything i listen to (or consume in general) aligns with my personal politic of a free palestine & a free world! my ultimate weakness is drag race! so the level of insanity surrounding taylor swift (& beyonce tbh) by (at least in my community) gay white men (or gay men trying to perform whiteness / gain proximity to it) is just... bonkers! i could go on about this forever but i will not lol. [if u like podcasts tho, a bit fruity did an ep on the political power of taylor swift which is quite interesting. their episode becoming a woman with miss benny also talks abt gayness, femininity, & pop (in an illuminating way!!) -- check them out if u want!!]

ANYWAY SORRY. some stuff i'm currently loving:

tierra whack's new album whack world. super funky, smart, heartfelt, she's the weirdest in the game & we are all better for it

BRAT ERA BABEY aka charli xcx's new singles. my favorite is club classics atm but B2b & von dutch (& the remix w/ addison rae) are summer bops. can't wait to be drunk on the beach listening to them

constantly going back to ethel cain's preacher's daughter, especially when i'm in nature w/ char. it's one of my favorite albums of all time; so fucking beautiful. hymns.

as the world's no1 bangerz apologist, & bc of jojo siwa being absolutely delulu & kind of iconic lately, i've been returning to 2013 miley for a laugh, & bc that album is so good. feels rly sad now? idk. her cover of jolene ate so hard no one will ever come close, sry

random but a cover of breezeblocks by taylor rae

honestly also whatever i loved II MOST WANTED lmao. it's gay. the only reason ppl are saying it's not is bc beyonce is on the track. it's gay i will die on this hill

lastly listening to a lot of lonnie holley

[asphaltvalkyrie]

I'm Writing Bout' the Book I Read

Figured I'd do that thing where I list the books I read in 2024... Or at least the ones I can remember.

My process for choosing a book is basically a combination of looking at reviews from trusted sources... and going into used bookstores and seeing what I vibe with. Also bookshop.org is a great alternative to Amazon and it supports indie bookstores.

H is for Hawk - Helen McDonald The author (a Cambridge scholar and falconer) coming to terms with her father's death through her relationship with her goshawk hunting partner.

Acceptance - Jeff Vandermeer 3rd installment of a trilogy about an alien… something that's not quite a place, not quite a creature and its interactions with some rather imperfect people.

The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller The story of the Trojan War from Patroclus' point of view.

Fun Home and Are You My Mother? - Alison Bechdel Bechdel's autobiographical relationships with her father and mother, respectively.

The Left Hand of Darkness and The Lathe of Heaven - Ursula K. LeGuin About a man living on a planet of people who have no gender except when breeding - and even then its random which partner is male and which is female each and every time, and about a man in a dystopian society who can shape reality with his dreams.

The Bird Way - Jennifer Ackerman Nonfiction studies of a few specific bird species and their many types of complex social relationships with others of their species.

Bonk and Fuzz - Mary Roach One about the science of sex and the other about problematic human/wildlife interactions, respectively.

Who By Fire - Matti Friedman An account/analysis of the time Leonard Cohen spent in Israel during the Yom Kippur war and how it affected his work.

Bittersweet - Susan Cain Nonfiction about how sadness and longing are actually healthy and productive emotions that humanity is made better by.

Skin - Roald Dahl A collection of deliciously dark short stories.

Never Home Alone - Rob Dunn Nonfiction about the most common bacteria, insects and various other creatures found abundantly in human habitats. A good

Other Birds - Sarah Addison Allen A magical realism story about benevolent ghosts and found family.

Monstress Volume 9 and The Night Eaters Volume 2- Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda One is a series about an extremely angry young woman/weapon/demonic vessel/refugee caught in the middle of a war, and the other about a pair of twins learning that their mom is a demon.

Annnd what I thought of them;

The Left Hand of Darkness was probably my favorite. Its an incredible story of what politics might be like if it were impossible to assign gender roles. Its also a study of the many types of love (friendship especially) and has some damn beautiful worldbuilding behind it.

Other Birds was my least favorite. My MIL wanted me to read it and I wouldn't say I hated it, but I felt condescended to by its predictable whimsy and general cutesy-poo-ness.

I read the Roald Dahl stories because I stumbled across Wes Anderson's The Wonderful World of Henry Sugar and Three More on Netflix (which was superb by the way.) I loved Roald Dahl as a kid. I think he helped create my sense of humor, and its hard to believe he wrote for children after looking at his other work.

Bonk was good for a very objective and informative, taboo-dispelling giggle, especially for a rather prudish ace like me.

I thought Fuzz and The Bird Way were a little lacking.

Fun Home and Are You My Mother? were both quite good. FH definitely made for a better story, but AYMM hit me very close to home emotionally.

The Song of Achilles was a unique treat - I know some purists hate novelizations of epic poems and sagas, but I really appreciated being able to fall under the story's spell of tragedy and irony without having to break that spell to look at footnotes or parse difficult language. Also gaaaaay.

Acceptance - This one and the rest of the trilogy are just a big, thick, and super entertaining stew of sci-fi and horror. Annihilation (the first book) made for a good film too.

Not totally sold on The Night Eaters yet but I trust Liu and Takeda.

...The others I really liked as well, but I can't remember much about them. Also I want to get back to my stupid boring gatherer's scrip grind on FFXIV. I hope future me enjoys this.

[missin-you-already]

Part two of six. Apocalypse :))

The Hive happened not too long ago. Time specifics don't really matter here. Before Alice could even set foot outside of the mansion, Umbrella captured her and Matt, they were experimented on, and she woke up to the virus having already started ravaging Raccoon City. Right from one tragedy and into another, some sorta hazy medical trauma in the middle, and the knowledge that she's no longer completely human crawling under her skin.

Alice in the second film is colder than we see her act in any other entry... Well, toward those who didn't purposefully fuck over her or a person she cared about, anyway.

When Rain was bitten, Alice held on hope to the very end that she could be saved and reassured her of that.

When she found out Peyton was bitten, she instantly drew a gun on him. When Jill stepped in to protect her friend, Alice told her that inevitably, he would turn and it'd be easier for everybody to kill him before then.

She tried to be a protector and a leader in the Hive, but in the end, even the one guy who made it back to the mansion with her got taken away. She knew those people for a few hours and was hurting as though it had been way longer. Solution? Close herself off. Do not get attached to anybody else.

I don't think Alice could help but crack at certain points, though. Carlos was charming. It was hard not to flirt back a little. Angie was just a kid and Alice clearly has a soft spot for them.

Despite her earlier failings, she couldn't help but step in when it appeared survivors were in need of help. That's in her nature.

She latches onto people quickly. Ten years passed between the events of Resident Evil and The Final Chapter, but the time Alice spent with other characters during those was not that long. She spent most of it alone. More on that when I start running my mouth about the other sequels, though.

Dr. Charles Ashford: Ultimately, I don't think Alice ever formed any real opinion on/feeling towards Ashford, but his death really stuck with her because of Angela. Alice told Cain she didn't care if he killed any of the other survivors. Did she think he was bluffing? Was she so caught up in defiance and detachment that she wasn't thinking clearly? Regardless, what she said wasn't true.

When Ashford was shot, Alice watched his daughter cry over him as he died. Angie may have run over to Alice after she got concussed by debris to make sure she got up and on the chopper, she may have held Alice's hand as Carlos dragged her injured ass onboard, and she may have never told Alice she hated her or she was the reason her daddy was gone, but in the back of Alice's mind, she'd always be half the reason Angela ended up an orphan.

Matthew "Matt" Addison/Project Nemesis: Alright, it certainly stuck with Alice that Matt died trying to protect her, but most of my yapping will be focused on Matt's mutations and him getting turned into a weapon. A fate worse than death, really.

Even if Matt wasn't scratched, he might've gotten injected with the virus the same as Alice, but it was still infuriating to have had the cure in her hands and been seconds away from giving it to him before Umbrella interrupted, for her to fight and scream for him, but be unable to break free as they took him away. He never would've shown up at the Hive to begin with if Alice's plans with Lisa didn't go wrong.

Even before Alice realized Nemesis was Matt, she could still remember someone being cut open on the table across from her. He was already not exactly looking like himself at that point, her vision was hazy, and her brain didn't want to consider making the connection. That guy who was chasing her around? With a face that looked like a leathery skull? Yeah, she wasn't gonna fight him because:

1.) Fuck Umbrella.

2.) Fuck Cain.

3.) She wasn't a circus monkey.

4.) The mysterious monster was probably a victim of experimentation like her.

But he couldn't be Matt. Not an option. His fate was the one thing she was holding out some semblance of hope on. Umbrella wanted him for something when they got separated, but not that.

When she realized the truth, that Matt ended up even worse off than her because she still had control over her body, she still looked human, all she could do was tear up and sputter out apologies. And while she didn't know if there was any way to save him at that point, she knew that when she looked into his eye, it wasn't dead and lifeless like a zombie's. It still looked like him. She couldn't kill him. She refused.

Then, yeah, when he did regain control of his body, he got crushed by a helicopter, making her the final living survivor of the Hive Incident. Yet another friend gone.

Major Timothy Cain: I love their final interaction a lot, actually.

Cain was trying to get Alice not to kill him without outright begging. "Killing me won't put things right!"

"No! But it's a start!" And Alice, having just watched Matt die too, had a face full of rage before throwing Cain off the evac chopper. Sure, there are other moments where she was clearly pissed off throughout the series, but she'd seriously fucking had it at that point. There was hardly any restraint in her expression and she looked about ready to strangle him with her bare hands. Not at the point of being bone tried yet, but recently out of the frying pan, just out of the fire, and still feeling the burn.

While there's no doubt that Alice was angry at Cain specifically for the things she knew at that moment, I also think her reaction was a result of everything she'd gone through up until that point.

Angela "Angie" Ashford: Now, it's not confirmed Angie died in the films. However, she was the only RC survivor we never see again in a sequel. Carlos and L.J. appeared in Extinction. Jill showed up at the end of Afterlife. But Angie? A young girl who is presumably left without any family after her father's death? Never seen again. Never mentioned. Probably because they didn't know what to do with her character. Anyway. I believe she died.

There are a lot of complaints you can rightfully make about the novelizations and they are not canon, but like the surname "Abernathy" for Alice, one of the gap fillers I do like is Angie's fate. This is the only book event I'm gonna bring up and the only time I'm taking them into account here.

Through the new digital overlay Alice has over her vision at the end of Apocalypse, it's hinted that, like Matt, Umbrella had made it so they could remotely control her. In the novels, the first instance of this occurred between it and Extinction. Umbrella took control of Alice and during that time, she shot Angie. That was Alice's reason for leaving. She never told the others. She just vanished, staying isolated for a long time afterward.

There're people Alice killed for retribution and/or to protect herself and others. There're people she didn't go to swing the blade down on, but felt she could've done something to save, or that her decisions contributed to their demise. Alice had to watch through her own eyes as she leveled a weapon at her head, unable to do anything to stop herself.

Alice already thought of herself as dangerous, but when she became Umbrella's weapon, that was she deemed herself better off alone. She couldn't risk that happening again. Her infected status already made her feel not human, but that incident made her feel like a monster. She hated herself for all that happened to Angela.

Deaths I think Alice feels responsible for in some capacity AKA the newest edition of my Resi ramblings. Part one of six because of length <3

Resident Evil: I like to think when Alice told Dr. J. Isaacs at the end of Apocalypse that she remembered everything, she was referring to the Hive/Raccoon City Incidents and not everything. I don't think Alice ever fully regained her memories. Partially because she's a clone and many of them were falsified to begin with. The real ones occasionally came to her in small fragments. The Hive was her earliest solid memory.

Aside from Spence, the version of her that existed before the nerve gas did not really know anybody down in the Hive with her. She knew of people like Rain, Kap, J.D., and One, but did not interact with them outside of in passing. A lot of the people she knew after and started caring for, she didn't get to know for very long at all. When Sanitation arrived, they had about three hours to get their job done before the exits sealed, but god, it did not feel that way to Alice.

It was all frustrating. She woke up unable to remember a thing but quickly discovered she did not have an average life. Her dresser had a drawer full of automatic weapons. A load of commandos smashed through her windows and took her through the looking glass. Some faces felt vaguely familiar. Parts of the labs felt vaguely familiar, but important information was not returning to her fast enough. It wasn't her fault, yet it felt that way when it was making the situation worse. She was slowly starting to realize that she was responsible for all of this in some way. At the end, she dropped to the floor of the mansion, the realization that she "failed everybody" coming down on her full force. There was still no time to break down, but was so hard not to. They were all dead.

Lisa Addison and all the other employees who worked in the Hive: Alice wished she was more careful. In The Final Chapter, was revealed that the whole apocalypse was planned. I like to think that like Alice, Spence was a clone. Spreading the T-virus was programmed into him. Trying to steal it would have happened soon regardless, but overhearing Alice and Lisa activated something in his brain. He threw a vial of it onto the floor because he had to spread it dumping hazardous material on the floor would activate Red Queen's defenses, taking the attention off his theft.

Alice wished she was more careful. It was stupid to meet Lisa so close to the Looking Glass House. She couldn't even remember why she chose to do so, but she remembered planning to do good with her. In another universe, things went according to plan and it was the start of Umbrella's end. Instead, it was the start of the world's end.

Matt was crying over his sister's corpse and Alice realized she was her mole. All the pieces weren't there yet, but she knew she fucked up somehow. She let that settle in her mind as they headed back to Red Queen's chamber. When Kaplan and Rain mentioned that the exits would seal, that was when Alice started feeling responsible for taking the lead and getting them all out, hoping that following her instincts would be enough.

It was not.

James "One" Shade, Olga Danilova/Medic, Alfonso Warner, and Vance Drew: Kaplan also definitely felt responsible for this before he died. Alice and Spence shouting at him to stop the lasers didn't help. That only made him fumble more. Maybe if they hadn't pressured Kaplan, he could have kept a cool enough head to save a few of his teammates. You can't exactly blame them for being like, "Holy shit! They're getting cut apart in there!! Do something!!!" But y'know.

Alice's main thought, though, was if she hadn't indirectly helped cause the Hive Incident, Sanitation wouldn't have ever been sent there and put in that position. What she witnessed through that small window was seared into her brain.

J.D. Salinas: Alice was not around to witness J.D.'s death, but she found out that they didn't need to wait for him after rejoining the others. Again, I think Kaplan felt responsible. He was struggling to input the code fast enough. Rain felt responsible. Realistically, she would have never been able to pull J.D. out herself, but what if she could? What if she grabbed him quicker? What if his hand hadn't slipped out of hers? That was her best friend, goddammit...

Alice felt partially responsible in the same way she did for those who died in the laser corridor.

Spence Parks: Not a death Alice regretted. He left her, Rain, and Matt for dead. For money. It was all for money. She could feel some attraction coming back to her, but it all left the instant he grabbed that gun to point it at her. Alice glared down the barrel and threw down his jacket when he left, angry at both him and herself. If you asked her, Alice would tell you, yeah, she cut off Spence's head. Yeah, he deserved it. No, it wasn't really necessary. It didn't make things right. Nothing could. She could have pulled her leg away and left his zombie on the platform, but it was the only revenge she could take. For her. For all the others down there with her.

Chad Kaplan: Kaplan sorta had two deaths. There was his fall off the pipes. He told the others to leave him and they thought he turned his revolver on himself. The guilt hit her when they turned away. She tried to swallow it down.

Then, there was his real death. He was ripped off the train. It was quick.

He was given the antivirus. He lasted on his own, rescued them, made it so close to the exit... and he died. If Alice had landed a few shots on the licker through the train's walls, that wouldn't have been enough to stop it. She couldn't have saved him. But if the Hive never happened, he would still be alive.

Rain Ocampo: In a deleted scene in Retribution, Alice shot a zombified Rain clone. Upon getting a good look at her, her demeanor quickly changed. When Ada questioned what's wrong, Alice said that she knew Rain and that she was dead. Ada asked if she's sure and although Matt shot Rain in Resident Evil, Alice's answer was that she's positive because she killed Rain. I've seen it argued that it's a flub/retcon/whatever, but I don't think so.

Alice tried to stay optimistic about curing Rain's condition, but Rain started worsening way faster after J.D. bit her in the tunnels. Maybe if Alice had been able to remember the antivirus sooner, if she had grabbed that damn gun before Spence shot the lock, she could have given Rain the dose she needed before she crossed the point of no return.

When Alice mistakenly thought Rain passed and leveled her gun at her forehead, it was one of the hardest times she had had pulling a trigger. And she never went through with it herself. It was a rollercoaster, thinking she was dead, finding out she wasn't, then turning around a few minutes later and finding her trying to take a chunk out of Matt. Alice would never forget the sight of her slumped on the floor with a hole in her forehead. It was another round of shitty déjà vu for her in Retribution seeing that clone in a similar position. She put the bullet in Rain that time, though. It got Alice's breathing all shaky, but she was supposed to have mastered hardening herself by then. Her head was spinning for a moment there.

It really fucking hurt again for a moment there.

Matt tried to tell her that it was Umbrella's fault. Not hers. While she could rightfully place blame on the corporation, she'd never stop placing some of it on herself too. Nobody is harder on Alice than Alice <3