#no one twerks like gaston

[noonesgaylikegatson]

whenever i see your URL I think of an ancient tumblr post that embedded itself in my brain permanently that was like "no one twerks like gaston, makes it werk like gaston, no one drops down that booty and jerks like gaston"

OMG! I think I vaguely remember it!!

[omnybus]

Gaston Song (dirty version)

Gosh it disturbs me to view you, Gaston,

Looking so flaccid and limp

Everyone here'd love to do you, Gaston,

For you they would happily simp

No man in town's as titillating as you,

You're everyone's favorite whore!

I think of you while masturbating, it's true

And we all can see why, that's for suuuuuuuuuure!

Nooo oooooooone... Fucks like Gaston

No one sucks like Gaston

No one whores themselves out for ten bucks like Gaston!

For there's no man in town half as sexy!

A pornographic paragon!

You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Betsy

And they'll tell you whose dick they'd prefer to be ooooon!

Noooo oooooone... bangs like Gaston!

All the gangs like Gaston!

No one's got quite a heft to his wang like Gaston!

"Yes, my genitals are quite intimidating!"

Oh, what a ho, that Gaston!

Fuck five ladies! Suck seven dudes!

Gaston is the best and the rest are all prudes!

Noooo... oooone... jerks like Gaston!

Does sex work like Gaston!

No one drops down his trousers and twerks like Gaston!

For there's none with as big of a booty!

"As you see, I've got bottom to bare!"

And his balls are so big, fat, and juicy-

"That's right! And I keep 'em smooth cuz I rub them with Nair!"

No one bums like Gaston!

All his chums like Gaston!

In a wanking match, nobody cums like Gaston!

"I'm especially good at e-jac-u-lating! UNGH!"

Ten points for Gaston!

When I was a lad, I sucked four dozen dicks

Every evening to help me pay rent

And now that I'm grown, I suck five dozen dicks

And I leave them all totally speeeeeent!

Nooooo... oooooone... faps like Gaston!

Makes them clap like Gaston!

And then gives that big booty a slap like Gaston!

"All the lasses find my ass so fascinating!"

Oh what a ho!

Gastoooooooon!

[zinogirl]

Noooooo

Onnnnneee

twerks like Gaston

Makes it work like Gaston

No one drops down that booty and jerks like Gaston

[twisting-echo]

I love Disney Mirrorverse and enjoy pretty much all the designs. I mean, Woody is just dripping with rizz. 😩👌

But Gaston... oh, Gaston, I'm so disappointed they slimmed down his thighs. They need to keep dat boi THICC—he's got some serious twerking to do! 😂

I'll hate the game for not realizing it's full potential, but it has some cool designs

Gotta say I'm impressed with Jasmine; she's the only Disney princess in "Mirrorverse" (that's been released) who has a look I really enjoy. Heck, I could see Jasmine, Aladdin, a Jafar wear looks like these if Disney ever decided to retcon their main looks. No idea if they're culturally accurate like Kuzco's, though. I'm pretty down that they slimmed down Gaston's legs/thighs, too.

Now, if we could just get better writing to utilize such an amazing multiverse concept! This would make a great story if they didn't just want to rely on skating by with the concept.

[sweetandsavageautistic]

To the Tune of “Gaston.”

Noooooo oneeee

lies like A$,

falsifies like A$,

No one win the douchebaggery prize like A$.

Cuz of them the a-ble-i-sm’s escalating.

Their group’s a douche, that A$!

[windandwater]

no one werks like Gaston no one twerks like Gaston no one claps his ass cheeks to the beat like Gaston

I get the Gaston song from Beauty and the Beast stuck in my head all the time but can never quite remember the words and don't want to because I always end up making up new words and making myself laugh. like this one I just did while getting dressed to go to the doctor

no one clacks like Gaston no one quacks like Gaston no one's got a duck in his jacket like Gaston

or this one that I was singing all the way through quarantine and that I think might be the best thing I've ever written

no one's thicc as Gaston no one's lit like Gaston no one's gotten as swole and on fleek as Gaston

[afriendlyblackhottie]

who is gaston

No one twerks like Gaston

Backs it up like Gaston

No ones got a sweeter ass than Gaston

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Nooooooooo Oooooooone

Smirks like Gaston!

No one Works like Gaston!

In a Twerking Match nobody Twerks like Gaston!

[punkpoemprose]

43, 44, 47

43: Which princess’ story is the most similar to your life

I’d probably say Belle. I’ve grown up in a small town (a quiet village), I’m book obsessed, and my parents dote on me terribly (I’ll be the first to very happily admit I’m well loved). I loved reading growing up, had a hard time fitting in, and had plenty of Gaston like attention (the you’d be prettier if you smiled and got your nose out of a book sort). Add in the hairy boyfriend named Adam (sorry babe, you know it’s true!) and the love of animals and libraries and I feel like she’s the most like me.

44: Which princess’ personality is most similar to yours

I’d say I’m a bit like the love child of Belle and Anna. Headstrong and independent, but with a strong need to be loved and clumsy as all get out.

47: Favorite villain song

Either “Mother Knows Best” or “Oogie Boogie’s Song”It used to be “Gaston” until I saw that post… you know the one…No one twerks like Gaston…

Thanks Charis!

[i-trouted]

now i have the "no one twerks like gaston" song stuck in my head

[pyromaniac-fairy-of-water]

The Gaston one made me remember the time I sang no one twerks like Gaston in a discord call with my friends

a collection of covid-19 tweets, part 4

(the tweet collection series)

[dystopianharry]

ok this was the song my brother sang when he came back from camp: noOOOOO ONEEEEEEEEEE twerks like gaston makes them werk like gaston no one has those delicious fresh glutes like gaston "and especially im bootylicious tasting" my what a guy like gaston. when I was a boy I ate 5 dozen eggs every morning to help me get large, and now that im large I eat six thousand eggs so im roughly the size of a boOOOOOORGE (??)

[morganbelarus]

A Definitive Ranking Of Miley Cyrus Exes Betches

In case you missed it, a Christmas miracle took place last weekend, and I’m not even talking about my mother uttering the words “you were right” in my presence. No, last weekend Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth GOT MARRIED in a private ceremony held in their Nashville home. That’s right, the woman who made twerking a national pastime and the second-hottest Hemsworth brother are married. Are you squealing yet? BECAUSE I AM SQUEALING. I don’t know about you, but I’d say this is definitive proof that love is real you can get your ex back after miming a sex act during your VMAs performance and it’s a win for me, personally delusional girls all over the world.  

Now, if you’ll recall, the couple met in 2009 on the set of The Last Song, way back when Miley had brown hair and was still legally allowed to associate with the Disney Channel. Ah, simpler times. They first got engaged in 2012, before calling it off a year later so Miley could have her space to grow as a person go through that wild phase.

Sure, Jan. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night.

But they reconnected in 2015 and seemed to be really happy, despite the fact that it made her new music only subpar. (Sorry, but it’s true.) Personally, I’ve been rooting for these two for a long time. And I’m not just saying that because after a drinking a bottle of moscato I used to drunk dial my ex and belt “Wrecking Ball” into his voicemail box. No, I’m genuinely rooting for Miley and Liam as only a complete stranger with no personal or emotional ties to them can. And now they’re married!! So to celebrate the occasion, I thought it would be fun to revisit her exes in what I like to call “Thank U, Next: The Miley Cyrus Edition.” Let’s get started, shall we?

6. Justin Gaston

If you’re wondering who this person is, you’re not alone, because I had to Google him as well. According to his IMDB page his greatest claim to fame is playing Romeo in Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” music video. So basically he’s about as relevant as my Juicy tracksuit Plato’s Closet passed on last weekend. They dated for about nine months when Miley was 15, and broke up right before she went to film The Last Song. Some say they broke up because she rekindled her friendship with Nick Jonas, and I guess 20 year old Justin felt threatened by a 14-year-old boy with a straightening iron, but I think it’s because she realized he was going about as far as Nashville’s Broad Street. Last place for you, Justin.

5. Patrick Schwarzenegger

After Miley called off her engagement to Liam, she dated Patrick Schwarzenegger for about five months and, honestly, it’s a solid rebound. The boy is fiiiine in, like, a preppy, rich kid who will definitely keep your nudes for revenge porn kind of way. So snaps for you, Miley. They broke up after photos surfaced of Patrick hanging out with his ex, which feels very on brand for him personally. He gets fifth place because he reminds me of my ex while he’s p attractive he’s also probably a piece of sh*t and I’m not tolerating a**holes for one more godd*mn minute in 2018.

View this post on Instagram

Patley at pre-grammys party in 2014. #mileyfuckingcyrus #mileyraycyrus #destinyhopecyrus #destinyhope #smiley #smileymiley #relationshipgoals #couple #patrickschwarzenegger #mileycyrus #mileyandpatrick #grammys #patley #patleyforever #cutest #couplegoals

A post shared by MILEY FUCKING CYRUS (@mileymileys) on Jan 30, 2018 at 6:12am PST

4. Stella Maxwell

I have nothing to say about this relationship mostly because I don’t think there was a relationship. There were rumors that Miley and Stella Maxwell were dating in 2015 because they made out a few times in public but, like, what’s your point? If I had to formally acknowledge every person I make out with I would legit need witness protection. Nah, I’m not buying it. This was also the year that Miley and Liam reconnected, so let’s call this what it is: too many vodka crans. Next.

3. Dylan Sprouse

Lol. I know, right? According to Popsugar the two dated for “a day when they were 11 or 12” and a day is all it takes for me to be jealous of any b*tch lucky enough to date a Sprouse. For those of you who read my Riverdale recaps, you know The CW has been making me feel things about a Sprouse that is legit making me question my mental health. And even though Miley only dated the twin whose most successful business venture since The Suite Life has been opening a “meadery” in Williamsburg, I’m still ridiculously jealous.

2. Liam Hemsworth

Technically, Liam was her ex at some point so he makes the list. He’s not number one because although I root for him, there’s someone else who tops the list. SORRY NOT SORRY. Which brings us to my favorite Miley ex…

1. Nick Jonas

Nick f*cking Jonas. That’s right, people, I still stan this relationship and I will stan this relationship until either one of them releases a song that’s better than “Before The Storm.” I’m sorry but “Standing out in the rain /Need to know if it’s over /Flooded with all this pain /Knowing that I’ll never hold her /Like I did before the storm”?? F*cking iconic. I don’t care that Nick gave his purity ring to Priyanka Chopra or that Miley and Liam have been together for ten years, 14 year old me is still hoping Disney will pull rank their contracts out and make them contractually obligated to write another teenage love ballad. PLEASE IT’S ALL I ASK FOR.

But, like, every happiness to you and Liam, Miley!

Images: Giphy (3); @mileymileys /Instagram (1)

Original Article : HERE ; This post was curated & posted using : RealSpecific

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A Definitive Ranking Of Miley Cyrus Exes Betches was originally posted by Latest news - Feed

[topsydead]

No one twerks like Gaston

Makes it work like Gaston

No one drops down that booty and jerks like Gaston

No

one

eats like Gaston 

Mini wheats like Gaston

No one says “this bitch empty” and y e e t s like Gaston 

[tiredintheglow-moved]

NoOOOOoo OoooONe... TWERKS like Gaston! Makes it WORK like Gaston! No one DROPS DOWN that bOOty and JERKS like Gaston! He be up in da club with that asS GIRating!!! My what a guy that Gaston!!!!

well Gaston eats 4 dozen eggs so he's roughly the size of a barge ;)

[the-nagakenny-archives]

Noooooo... oooooooone... twerks like Kenny, Makes it work like Kenny, No one drops down dat booty and jerks like Kenny, He be up in the club with that aaaaass gyrating, My, he so fly, that Kenny~

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh help I can’t breathe ahahahaha!!!

Whew! *wipes tear from eye* Well, I guess that’s another thing I have over Gaston–I have a stronger butt game than he does, hahahaha!