#no one told me being a kpop stan would be so sad

[luc1dvisual]

Could you write something for After Schools Nana? She’s coming home from a long day of practice so you decide to help her relax by giving her a massage which turns into something “more”. Thank you:)

only you - nana (im jin-ah) x reader

𝜗୧ in where the love of your life has a long day and you would do anything to help her relax

cw: smut (obvi), 18+, soft s*x, fwb, edging, top!nana, bottom!reader, homophobia (brief), idol!au, both idolxreader are 30+

word count: 1.9k

When somebody asked you what Nana were, you would laugh and play it down, making them look stupid for even asking. You and Nana were both in After School, a largely-successful 2nd generation kpop group. She was definitely the most popular but you definitely weren’t far behind, being the main rapper. You guys been friends since your trainee days and have been very close as the years went by. You both joined around the same time and many of your fans would gush over how perfect of a friendship you two had. Even when your group was falling apart due to lack of promotions and lack of comebacks, you two were seen together everywhere. When a new age of kpop stans from all over and many years passed, some new-gen fans started shipping you two which disgusted k-netizens. You had liked her for your entire careers and always got sad when another dating scandal between her and some guy popped up. You two never really talked about romance because you both never had the time for it. It was almost like this unspoken thing, your conversations were never too deep and was always fun and light-hearted. That’s why you were shocked that Jin-ah felt the same about you.

She felt the exact same about you and actually seemed to fall harder. You could not be happier but you both agreed to take it slow. The most intimate you got were some cuddling and kissing, nothing more. It surprised you a lot that it was her idea, you both were over 30 so you felt almost like a teenager. In interviews now, interviewers still mention Nana to you which you would speak about how you two are still friends and miss each other dearly. You and her live in the same apartment so you can’t afford to say anything out of turn. The reason being that you both feel safe around one another (and the dangers of korean society don’t help.)

Nowadays, you are not too active, almost on break even. Your company doesn’t mind as Nana is very active and is earning them plenty of money. She was always out filming for projects or even photoshoots. You would always stay at home and do all the chores there, always wanting to be useful for the woman you love. She wouldn’t mind and would always appreciate your help, saying that you ‘keep the place alive’. One night, you were cooking dinner for yourself as you expected Nana to be working. You didn’t wear much, just a silk pajama set with no bra underneath. You were thinking about sleeping early, your getting older, until you heard the door open and shut. You were confused at first until you heard the clicking of heels and your ‘friend’

“Sweetie?” Her sultry voice echoes in your almost silent apartment. You always liked her voice, she didn’t think it was anything important due to lack of lines in After School songs, but you always loved to hear her talk and sing. Your heart raced as you realise she is back and paced over to her, happy your best friend is home. “Jin-ah” You wrap your arms around and bury your face into her neck. You can’t see her but you can tell she is smiling as she perks up and says “How are you baby? How has your day been?” she asked. You gave your usual bubbly smile and said in a happy tone “It’s been boring! But your back..! I’m happy you are but you told me you wouldn’t be home until I was fast asleep..” You looked up at her face and saw her tired expression, her usual features clearly less expressive and a exhausted look on her face. “Photoshoot finished early.. but with the less time, they made it up work. Did you know I had to iron my own clothes?” You give her a sympathetic expression, most of the time in the past when she was tired was after a promotion schedule and you would technically be tired then too which gave you a sense of comfort.

“They aren’t supposed to do that, they should be thanking the gods for having the opportunity to do a shoot with somebody like you!” You were nervous with this, she was normally the one comforting you and going out her way to make you comfortable. You were very grateful for all her care throughout the years but since she was prone to not showing weakness, when she occasionally did, you didn’t know how to react. The nerves of this all gets to you and ideas swirl through your mind, trying to figure out a way to help your ‘friend’ out. “Well.. I’m getting older, not many brands would wanna work with me in a year or two.. Sweetie? You okay?” She started her anxious rant but stopped when she saw you so deep in thought. You internally cursed her for this, always so concerned for you without caring about herself. You finally blurt out “What if I cook for you then give you a massage? ..How would that sound?” You thought it was something casual, just helping your friend out after a long day. You then realised she hated people touching her, having bad experiences with male fans getting too comfortable. You were about to take back your words until she says with a candid look on her face “Sure.. as long as that’s okay with you?” 

You laugh, trying to ease the tension “‘Course, that’s why I offered. Sit and put on whatever you want, even one of your dramatic dramas is okay!” Before she could say anything back, you walk off with to the kitchen and make sure to make the portions big enough for you both. You turn your head as you finish up the meal and see Nana watching her show. Your face goes a subtle shade of pink as you find her stunning. Dinner goes by with plenty of conversation, you melting under her gaze and just generally being happy she is back. 

You notice her gaze on you as you massage her. You get some flower-scented lotion and work on her shoulders. Your features become intense as you try your best to concentrate. You feel her smirk on you as she caresses the side of your face “What would I do without you, my love?” she says quietly which is probably one of the hottest things you heard. She then cranes her neck up and kisses you on the cheek, a few butterfly kisses on your face as she moves up to reach, more kisses scatter your neck as you let out a quiet pleased noise. You want to melt in that instance, surrender to that pleasure as Nana takes the lead. 

You then stop her and move forward, pulling her down onto the bed and trapping her with your body and your hands on either side. “No… you had a long day” you manage to verbalize despite being a blushing mess. She was surprised by these nervous words, forgetting all your boldness from a few seconds ago. A innocent-like yet knowing smile appears on her face as she says between kisses “Then give me a reward..” her hands start wandering. You finally succumb and looking down at her with doe eyes. Nana looks up with a small smile as she reached up, her hand going up your chest and cupping your right breast. She sits up and uses her hands on your thoughts to reposition you. “You wear this all the time? I need to come home early more often then..” She sucked on your peak through your thin satin singlet. You let out a gasp and ran your hands through Nana’s hair. She stops to look up at you with a smug smile, a small wet patch on where she sucked. Her hands went up your shirt again but caressed your back “Tell me to stop now if you don’t want it.” she said, clearly hot and bothered. You look down at her with a love struck expression “Anything for you, Jin-ah” and you kiss her softly on the lips. No tongue, no lust, just pure love.

Her self-control snaps and she flips you two so she is hovering over you. She doesn’t take off your top completely, trecking it up over your breasts. She started getting annoyed as it wouldn’t stay so held it up to your mouth. “Hold this for me?” she asks in a innocent tone. You understand what she is saying and bite down onto the fabric to keep it up. She practically lavishes you, starting with kisses and small licks all over your breasts, giving one individual attention. You give a few whines which give her more confidence, sucking on the peak of the right and caressing the left, alternating once you started to whine louder. She feels movement of your legs against hers and she looks down, your breasts covered in love marks. You started  to grind up for any friction. She smirks as she runs her thumb up and down your parted lips. “Can’t wait can you?” she says, almost teasingly, yet loving every second of this. “Na..na.. please..” you manage to let out, your mind blurred with list and a sense of bliss. You are happy this happened and honestly thought you were sleeping when you see the woman of your dreams between your legs, her attention only on you.

“Lift.” she softly orders you, giving a kiss on your cheek as she then moves back to help you shuffle off your pajama shorts. Your white underwear with a wet patch in the middle is revealed to her. You aren’t thinking straight so you just subconsciously open your legs which if you looked close enough, Nana’s face had a tint of red pretty obvious. Out of nowhere, she practically yanks down your underwear which causes you to gasp at the sudden coldness, making your lower half to shake a bit. You stop shaking when you feel kisses up your thighs which make you feel a odd sense of bliss. You can feel Nana’s eyes on you and being so bare while being so seen makes a pink flush come across your face. You then let out a gasp as she licks your clit which turn into a moan. More escape as Nana starts to suck your bud and you throw your head back. You angle your hips up so her tongue goes deeper. She eats you out like she is starving and you are nearing the edge. It’s really making you wonder “How is she so good at this?”. You grip a handful of her hair as you finish inside her mouth. She smirks as she cleans you up with her tongue and she lays next to you. You are laying there panting from the immense pleasure she gave you and you turn your head “I was supposed to spoil you.” you unknowingly pout at her. She smiles after she wipes her mouth “I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile, trust me, this is the best reward I could think of.” Your pupils dilate “A while? With me?” you were a bit irritated by this. You have been trying to drop hints and she played dumb to your face but you could tell there was something else in her eye.. “ Not only with you, only you ”

note . . .

AHHHH FINALLY FINISHED!! I kept procrastinating as it was almost done + was not in the mood for smut, just been reading angst all week. I literally love Nana and After School so I am so happy that I not only have one but two Nana requests!! I absolutely love getting requests so they are still open. i am also planning fic series so stay tuned!! ALSO THANK YOU SM FOR 300+ NOTES ON MY KARINA FIC I LOVE YOU ALL :))

navigation: kpop masterlist , after school masterlist

[incorrect-jojolands-quotes]

Mun, give me your shot on Usagi Headcannons :crying & fire emoji: the world needs it

Of course! Here's what I got so far in terms of backstory and tidbits about him too:

Usagi's parents are Robert Alohaoe and Donna Therese Alohaoe (née Nakashima). Both are Japanese-Hawaiian descent and Usagi is their only child. Usagi had a twin sister that didn't make it to term but neither of his parents told Usagi her name or that she existed, not wanting their son to feel guilty or sad about the matter in any way.

Robert was a construction worker who was also the local construction union's president. Donna works as a receptionist for a retail tax office in Downtown Honolulu. After Robert's death, Donna quit her job due to grief and now stays at home. She's able to manage the payout for Robert's death so she and Usagi could live comfortably and more and is rather frugal too.

Growing up, the Alohaoes were a close, loving family. They were actually involved in a local church in Honolulu and Usagi's early years were him being involved in things like the children's choir and plays done in celebration of Christmas and Easter. The church itself was a nondenominational Christian church that the Alohaoes met through and got married in.

Both parents wanted Usagi to have some exposure to the arts but lacked the resources to give him professional classes or have him try out auditions for agencies, so Usagi's time in the performing arts involved him taking free community classes or attending volunteer-run events. It's there that he learned how to dance, sing, and act.

Usagi was a rather popular kid with many friends from church, despite his father worrying that being a theater/dance kid would mean kids were going to bully him. His rise to fame among the church kids was when he showed that he could do the splits during a free ballet class. He was also, at the time, strong enough to lift the girls trying to pretend to be ballerinas.

Robert's death threw more than just a wrench into things. Despite the church doing what they can to help and comfort, both Donna and Usagi lost their faith and stopped attending services like before. Usagi briefly stopped doing theater stuff and stopped seeing his friends at church. He became a loner in school that people thought was weird. He often brushes off his father's death as a means of coping with it. But, secretly, he misses his dad a lot.

Usagi himself isn't religious anymore as he started getting involved in scientific research and not agreeing with sentiments that various religions have towards marginalized groups (women, lgbtqia+, indigenous, etc.). But, when he misses his dad or really needs divine intervention, he will say a little prayer and hope it gets answered.

To satisfy his itch for performing later in life, he turned to learning Kpop choreography and making Kpop content. He has a secret social media account where he dresses up with his face and body covered and films himself doing dance covers. He would also attend Random Kpop Dance Plays anonymous as well to talk to other stans. Everyone knows him as his dance persona but no one really knew who he is under the all-black fits and surgical masks he wears.

He's massive in the forums related to BTS. Online, ARMYs knew him as an i-lovely with wacky theories about the BTS universe and his love for Suga. His biaswrecker is Jimin and he eventually bonds with Charming Man over BTS as the two start to become more friendly with each other. Usagi also runs an anonymous stan twitter account to help him keep up with Kpop news and is really involved in voting during awards season.

Since his father's death, Donna has been way more overprotective than before. Usagi himself was a sheltered kid and sometimes feels suffocated by her actions. He does understand that he is arguably the only physical reminder of Robert and her intentions are well-meaning, but it has caused him to rebel secretly. It's part of why he accepted work from Meryl Mei and experimented with drugs. He does it behind her back because he doesn't want to disappoint his mom in the end.

Usagi wishes to be a researcher of sorts after high school, but he's not sure what field to go into. He's considered being an ornithologist because he loves birds but also a pharmaceutical scientist, hydrologists, research physiologist, and, when he was younger, he thought about being a marine biologist. His passion in being a researcher led him to learn a lot of stuff online and that's why he has so much information.

His experimentation with drugs came from his initial desire to be a pharmaceutical scientist and curiosity on how chemicals can affect a body's function. He also wanted to see which drugs would enhance his academic performance the most, so he extensively researches on the drugs and how to safely use them before actually trying it on himself. It's also where he gets his extensive medical knowledge.

Donna used to be someone who wanted to make sure Usagi has a home cook meal and the family used to bond over cooking. However, since Robert's passing, Donna stopped cooking out of grief and Usagi can't bring himself to cook for similar reasons. He's mostly eaten takeout fast-food or quick meals like instant ramen since then. Donna is trying to get back into cooking meals again for Usagi's health but it's still a struggle.

Usagi doesn't know much about his dad's past but is interested in Robert's dadlore; Donna herself only knew so much. The bits and pieces of the lore Usagi knows is that Robert used to be close friends in high school with some guy name Dean. The two separated after a terrible fight but reconnected months before Robert passed away. Usagi knows it was this friend who helped his family receive the insurance payout but he doesn't know Dean's full name.

Usagi only knew Dean by the nickname Robert supposedly gave to him and the two had nicknames for each other; Robert was called "Fripp" and Dean was called "Belew". However, Usagi misheard these names and thought the nicknames were Pink and Blue.

Usagi vowed to be like Dean, someone who goes out of their way for others, and hopes to find his own Pink that he could help the way Dean did. What a coincidence that that Pink ended up being Dean's own child: Dragona.

That's all so far. I hope you enjoy it. :3

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of April 2024

[last month]

Last month, I was just sooo excited about so much music (see: the giant five-star songs list)--I must have used up a whole lot of my enjoying-music energy, since this month I withdrew a bit & got super picky. (Which, for some reason, meant only enjoying three artists--Repion, Majiko, and Mon Laferte--for a solid week. No, I have no idea why my brain chose those three in particular!) So, I'm not feeling as sparkly as I did when I wrote last month's post, but there was still some awesome stuff this month (which is why I'm doing a top 20 instead of my usual 15!!).

Most of my favorite releases this month ended up being not-kpop, but my top 3 kpop releases of the month would be: "Undefeated" by XG (*insert obligatory acknowledgement of the "is XG kpop?" debate here*), "I'll See You There Tomorrow" by TXT, and "Candy Crush" by ARTMS!

1 . El Imán - Remix -- Delfina Campos, Santiago Martínez

If you, like me, still aren't over Tiffany's "I Just Wanna Dance", allow me to introduce you to...

2. La venganza de los Sith -- Comic Sans

By FAR my favorite release this month. This has the same indie-boy euphoria as "joyrider" by second thoughts, which is an instant win in my book!

3. Abittipsy -- Youha

I think I'm a normal amount of angsty for a college student! "Abittipsy" signifies an about-average amount of angst... right?

4. It Was Coming All Along -- Maggie Rogers

I don't really understand these lyrics, but they've been haunting me anyway. I guess I never get tired of this kind of apocalypse song--the ones that aren't even all that angry or scared anymore, they just sound completely exhausted. For me, they're always the most powerful.

5. Solo en Vos -- Luciana Tagliapietra

Loving the trend of synthy music that sounds straight out of a video game! And this synth is especially well-produced--the texture is IMPECCABLE.

6. Death To My Hometown -- Bruce Springsteen

Down two spots from last month, but still awesome!

7. Luz -- Ine Güemes

Another repeat offender! (I told you, this month wasn't all that exciting.) It's moved up a spot from last month, though. This album has a stranglehold on my soul btw.

8. Hemofilia - Remix -- Delfina Campos, Ferla

Re: Tiffany's "I Just Wanna Dance" !!

9. El día no me da -- Repion

Just an average Repion song--which, of course, means it's fantastic and has been my go-to song every single day for the last month.

10. Altas Nubes -- Adrià Salas, Repion

It's sooooo DND coded.

11. Spotlight -- Creepy Nuts

I love Creepy Nuts so much, and this one encapsulates everything that got them on my stan list in the first place--the incessant energy, the creative instrumentals, the rock influences !!!

12. Undefeated -- XG, Valorant

Yessssss sound design for the win!! There's never a dull moment in this song--XG really are bringing the thrill back to girl crush, and I couldn't be happier!

13. Nightshift -- Bruce Springsteen

This month's sulking song, I dare say? I'm SOOOO lucky I got to hear it live in March, and I've been addicted since. And it makes me SO SAD OH MY GOD--

14. Stayaway - Now, Now Remix -- MUNA

I still love the original, but this one had me at house keys!

15. Martes -- Repion

I'm getting sooo tired of complimenting Repion (look, I've been doing it nonstop since the release of their album last February). So I'll just say: harmonies good yes.

16. The Kill -- Maggie Rogers

Watching the live performance on YouTube broke me a little. This isn't the most exciting song, but Maggie Rogers makes it SO emotional in the most wonderfully subtle ways--a little sentimental, a little resigned. As Phoebe Bridgers once said, "I feel something."

17. Dice -- Onew

The album is better, but this is really cute! I must have left it on repeat while doing homework or something this month.

18. Alley Rose -- Conan Gray

This goes out everyone who cried to "Wish You Were Sober" in 2020 !!!

19. Found Heaven -- Conan Gray

I like the lyrics way more than I like the actual song, but I like the lyrics a LOT. "There's a God / in the sky / don't believe him." GODDAMN.

20. .tumblr -- Saramalacara

I want big clumsy melody-heavy EDM back!!!! Make dark-concept kpop like this again pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee

Five-Star Songs (& Albums!) This Month

Alley Rose -- Conan Gray (Now THIS is how you make retro exciting again. "Alley Rose" has disco and psychedelic rock built into the bones of its Elton John tribute, and the layers and layers of influences are just so endlessly fascinating to me!)

Amárrame -- Mon Laferte, Juanes (I ran across this during that weird week where I could only enjoy like 3 artists, and I'm so glad I did! I already expect Mon Laferte choruses to be wonderful, but this one still managed to take my breath away. Love at first listen, the vocal layering and the drums and the VOCAL LAYERING GUYS GUYS LISTEN TO THAT CHORUS. To my 10th grade Spanish teacher--I like a Juanes song now! Sorry it took me so long lol)

World -- MUCC (I've liked this since it came out, but it just hit differently this month. I don't know, maybe I'm just more obsessed with multilayered vocals than usual this month--which would explain the Repion obsession, actually...)

Como Bailan los Demás (Lado B) -- Delfina Campos (I think I'll always be that guy who wants my albums aesthetic, and this selection of hazy, muted club tracks is exactly what I'm looking for in an album worth leaving on repeat. It all flows together so effortlessly, and Delfina Campos really got my attention with these performances--so delicate, and so captivating. I'll have to go back and check out their other stuff!)

[daegudrama]

Title: The Voice That Fills My Mind

Pairing: Yeonbin

Summary: Yeonjun’s soulmate has the voice of an angel. He can hear the voice running through his head every time the man sings. Unfortunately for Yeonjun his soulmate is a mega kpop star.

Word Count: 20,450 words

Yeonjun 

“Felix, you are an incredible person but I don’t hear your voice in my head.” I cast my eyes downwards and away as I speak knowing I won’t be able to stand my ground if I see his sad eyes. Sadness in his eyes feels like the worst pain imaginable. “We both know this has to happen eventually. Might as well do it now before we get more attached.”

“Yeonjun…” His voice breaks and he launches himself at my chest hugging me closely. There is a level of comfort and familiarity in his touch, but I can’t pretend he’s the one singing in my head. “I understand I just thought I’d have a little more time.”

I stroke the back of his hair with my other arm wrapped around him. This never ends happily. Sometimes I wonder why I even try to date other people. I’ve figured out who my soulmate is even if no one believes me. He just happens to be incredibly difficult to get a hold of. 

“Lix you’ll find him and all of this will just be a fond memory some day.” I pull back as I speak looking into his eyes.

The trees are rustling around us in the late summer breeze. Perhaps the park we met at wasn’t the brightest place to break up with him. Thankfully, there aren’t many people around. That would make this harder.

“I hope Soobin finds you soon.” Felix says stretching up on his toes to give me a soft kiss on the mouth. His lips taste like his favorite strawberry lip tint.

He walks away without another word and I’m stunned. Felix never believed me when I told him Soobin is my soulmate. I wonder what changed his mind. 

Break ups are always hard for me even if I’m the one who initiated it. Deep in my mind I know the only reason I date is because I’m lonely. I love being held and told everything that makes me special. 

A twitter notification that Soobin has tweeted pops up on my home screen. It’s like he knows I need him.

Choi Soobin is an insanely popular musician. Every time he releases a new song he gains hundreds of thousands of fans. I’ve been a fan for two years but he’s been active for three. He’s my soulmate so I’ve always heard him sing and rap. 

During his debut year he didn’t garner much attention from the general public. I thought the songs in my head were just songs I didn’t know. I didn’t think my soulmate had written them. Eventually, I decided to search for the lyrics I was hearing and found Soobin. 

At first I didn’t think much of it. I thought my soulmate just must really like his songs even though he sounded like Soobin. Then I started hearing more songs that I hadn’t heard before. When Soobin’s next album came out I knew all the songs on my first listen. That’s how I figured out he’s my soulmate. 

I’ve tried talking to people about it over the last few years but no one believes me. People try to fake this kind of thing all the time so it’s understandable that no one believes me. Once, I was so fed up with being called a liar that I proved I knew the song before it dropped. Stan twitter cancelled me fabricating a story about how I got the tracks from someone who worked at a record store. Since then I don’t try to prove myself on twitter. Now everyone just thinks I’m joking when I call him my soulmate.

@Soobin tweeted: Solace please eat a good dinner and sing your soulmate a pretty song 

Attached is a picture where he is making a peace sign. His hair is a faded blue and he’s smiling so brightly my heart thumps. It looks like he’s sitting in the artist lounge of his company’s building. As I walk home I reply to his tweet. 

@binniesboo replied: I’ll sing you a pretty song when I get home 😙

One of my followers likes the reply and I save Soobin’s selfie. On my way home I draft a few tweets about Soobin. I wonder if he would think it’s weird I have an account about him.

At home I get distracted by Felix’s sweatshirt sitting on my sofa. I’m sure there are more of his things here. Why didn’t I bring them with me? I knew what I was going to do. I’m so stupid. I hold the sweater to my nose breathing in the sweet scent that is no longer mine. 

I turn on my break up playlist and sing along while I pack Felix’s things into a box. Having someone around makes life much more enjoyable, but it’s not right when he’s not my soulmate. When I’m taping the box closed I hear Soobin in my head. He’s singing a song that hasn’t been released yet. I think it’s called wishlist. I tweet about it and everyone seems confused. A few of my followers send me clown emojis.

@binniesboo tweets: soobin is singing wishlist 🥰

I order take out fried chicken and have just finished eating when a vlive notification pops up. Soobin is live. I pull out my laptop so I can watch there and tweet on my phone. I turn off my sad playlist and watch Soobin greet the audience.

He doesn’t look as happy as his selfie. I hope he’s okay. Last week he was practicing past midnight every day. I wish he rested more but I understand being an idol is a hard job. I wish I could tell him how proud I am. 

Soobin talks about what he did today while he eats sushi. He’s in the artist lounge and I’d bet my whole savings account he is going back to rehearsal after this live. He talks about how excited he is for his comeback and the start of his tour. The tour starts next week on my birthday.

I don’t live very far from Seoul but I don’t have the money to see his concert or buy enough albums to win a fansign. Concerts are a luxury I can’t afford right now. I have no hope of going to his concert especially because it’s sold out.

Soobin looks so pretty, even with his almost upset expression. I wish I could stroke his cheek with the back of my hand and poke his dimples.

The vlive comments are flooded with different variations of ‘are you okay?’ or ‘you look upset.’ Soobin tries to be our shining light so it’s rare he expresses negative feelings. There a large portion of his fandom that doesn’t like when he talks about certain topics.

“Why do you look sad?” he says then pauses looking down at his sushi then back to the comments. “Oh, I know some of you don’t like when I talk about them, but my soulmate has been having a hard time recently. They were singing sad songs for two hours and their voice sounded like they were crying.”

I was crying but just for an emotional detox. I’ll miss Felix’s company but I’m not sure he was the reason I was crying. Felix has nice lips and a sunny personality but he’s not my person. 

My heart races everytime he mentions his soulmate. It pains me to no end that I can’t just pick up my life and move to Seoul. There are deluded sasaengs stalking Soobin when I’ve never even met him. I can’t just go to the Bighit Labels building and tell security I’m his soulmate. Hundreds of people do that every day. No one would believe me.

I stare at the screen wondering how I can make him feel better. I’ll be okay this is just temporary. I type out a memo to find songs relating to temporary pain to let him know I’ll be okay. 

I sing the chorus of wishlist at the top of my voice and I see Soobin’s eyes light up. The comments flood with messages asking what song his soulmate is singing. Everyone knows that look even if their soulmate isn’t a good singer.

“My soulmate is singing a song from my new album. They must listen to me closely. I wonder if they are watching.” I stop singing when I see his eyes brighten and he pouts as soon as I’m done. He’s so adorable it makes me laugh. “They stopped. Soulmate if you are watching this please keep singing. I miss hearing your voice when you go long periods without singing.”

Half the comments are gushing about how cute a soulmate Soobin is and the other half think he’s talking about them when they surely don’t know the song I just sang. At times it’s hard not to get jealous.

Soobin doesn’t say another word about me for the rest of the live. I sing quietly a few times just to see him smile. Once he is done eating he says goodbye sending finger hearts and flying kisses.

Twitter is a shitshow of people who think Soobin owes them something fighting the people who love when he talks about me. solace twitter becomes a disaster when Soobin mentions his soulmate which is why he doesn’t often. He must have been really worried about me. I sing him a happy song while I look through tweets. The words ‘Soobin’ and ‘Soulmate’ are trending. 

@soobsbread tweets: why does soobin even talk about his soulmate? doesn’t he know we don’t care

@soobinstar tweets: does anyone else notice soobin only uses they/them pronouns for his soulmate? our progressive king 

@tyunswife tweets: i wish idols could talk freely about their soulmates without weirdos attacking them

@waenger69 tweets: soobins soulmate is an asshole for making him sad. you must know who your soulmate is! he’s here to make us happy stop making him sad 

The quote replies to the @soobinstar tweet aren’t nice for the most part. Quite a few of them seem to be calling him gay in a malicious way. I reply to those tweets asking why they are so homophobic and include pictures of Soobin holding pride flags. Real pictures that fans have taken. Within minutes my mutuals are tearing the account to shreds and within the hour five accounts are suspended.

Soobin sings a song I call ‘So no monster can chase us anymore.’ I don’t think that’s the actual title but I haven’t figured it out yet. His title tracks always have super long titles so I could be right. 

The way we hear our soulmates sing is finicky. I can’t just sing my name and address to them. From my experience I can only hear when he’s singing real songs, not just something in a sing-song voice. Sometimes I hear his vocal warm ups but most of the time I don’t. When someone is singing you can partially hear their surroundings. So I can hear all the screaming when my soulmate hip thrusts during his set. 

A twitter group chat I’m in asks for album predictions because I’m never wrong about the number of tracks or how they sound. I tell them the number of tracks and give a vague description of the sounds. They still don’t believe he’s my soulmate. I tried with them once after we’d been in the chat together for a few months.

I’m about to turn back on my sad playlist and sing while I delete Felix from my instagram, but I can still hear Soobin rehearsing. I’ll let him prepare for come back in peace. The less I distract him the earlier he’ll be able to go home. 

Deleting pictures of Felix makes me far more emotional than I thought it would. We dated for six months, longer than I dated most people. Usually I’m just in it for sex or company with no deeper feelings. I’ve figured out who my soulmate is but that doesn’t mean I don’t have needs.

Felix took me on lots of fun dates and told me hundreds of stories about growing up in Australia. He’s one of the coolest people I’ve ever dated. I didn’t want to get more attached and make it harder on myself later. I don’t know why I post these boys on my instagram like they’ll be here forever.

When Felix has been scrubbed from my social media platforms I scroll through twitter. Someone has organized an LBGTQA+ solace selca day for tomorrow. I love when solace come together to bully homophobes. Especially because Soobin can’t speak up right now for fear of backlash. 

Soobin is softly singing ‘Blue Hour’ when he tweets twice. It must be stuck in his head just like it’s stuck in mine. 

@Soobin tweets: my soulmate sang me a happy song after the live 🥰

@Soobin tweets: Please be nice to each other 🙂

I reply knowing at least one person is going to call me a delulu. I’ve received enough hateful replies today that I don’t really care. 

@binniesboo replies: i’m so glad you liked it 🥺

@binniesboo replies: PERIOD listen to this man

The same account that liked my replies earlier likes these two. It’s a private account that won’t let me follow back. I wonder why they are interested in my tweets if they won’t let me follow them.

More chaos on solace twitter saying ‘Soobin would hate a lot of you.’ They aren’t necessarily wrong but we should be focusing on his comeback right now. I post a tweet saying that and it quickly receives a lot of interactions. 

I move the box of Felix’s things next to the front door so I’ll remember to drop it at his apartment building. Soobin is singing with his full voice right now. I can hear someone shouting directions at him over his singing voice. The comments sound like something a choreographer would say. 

With my whole existence I wish I could see what he’s preparing live. I’ll have to settle with grainy illegal streams put on by saints. 

Soobin has been working tirelessly for months on this tour and album. I only hear the singing portions and that’s already so many hours. His level of dedication and artistry is far from any of his peers. 

Kang Taehyun, my best friend of many years, has sent me a text. He routinely checks my instagram to see if I’ve broken up with my latest boyfriend without telling him. Taehyun also watched Soobin’s live. He is a little skeptical but for the most part he believes me. 

Best Friend 🐿: I’ll be over in five minutes with ice cream prepare a movie

I sigh knowing there is no use arguing with him. He wants to comfort me. I’m blessed to have someone like him in my life. Long ago he learned to stop questioning my feelings after every break up. Of course, I feel sad but it’s more loneliness than anything else. 

Taehyun doesn’t bother knocking instead just punching in the code I told him when I moved in. He has my favorite ice cream and a bottle of soju. We talk about our days as we dig into the ice cream. Taehyun had an audition today and he thinks it went well. He wants me to join him on auditions but I don’t think I’m good enough to make it. 

“You should join me on the next one!” Taehyun says licking his spoon clean. “Half the people there couldn’t even do basic choreography. You would eat them alive.”

“You must be exaggerating…” I say looking off to my album shelf in the corner.

“Why are you so stubborn? Don’t you want to meet your soulmate?” I nod my head slowly and he rolls his eyes. “Then joining the entertainment industry and sharing your talent with the world is the best way to do that.”

“Even if I debut it’ll be years and Soobin will never notice me.”

We’ve had this conversation a lot over the last two years. I don’t think he’s completely wrong, but I don’t want to disappoint my parents. They already don’t like my choice of study so I have to support myself. I graduated in the spring and have been living off mostly savings that are dwindling. I recently started a part time job. Going for my true dream that I could so easily fail at just isn't in the cards right now. 

“Why are you so pessimistic? Let’s just watch a movie.” Taehyun seems annoyed with me. 

He’s offered to help me multiple times. I don’t like taking handouts and he knows that. Taehyun has gotten more creative lately. He calls everything a gift and even offered to let me move into a spare room in his apartment. I thought about it because it’d be nice to live with someone but he doesn’t want me to pay rent.

It’s hard to focus on the movie because Soobin is still singing in my head. Anytime I can hear him I want to focus as hard as possible. It’s like my own daily private concert. If only I could see him.

“Make sure you have the whole day off on your birthday. I’ve planned something special and you aren’t allowed to object.” Taehyun says after the movie has finished. 

“Tae, you know I don’t like when you do that.” 

He has a devilish smirk on his face. I’m terrible at guessing when he’s made a plan. Taehyun has done some extremely unexpected things for me in the past. Once he forced me to go to America with him because he wanted a very specific snack you can only find there. 

“It’ll be the best day of your life so far.” He promises and I roll my eyes. “Trust me.”

Taehyun leaves soon after and I’m left to wonder why I would need the whole day off. He must be taking me to another city. After the spontaneous trip to America, we made an agreement for no international travel without a two week notice. My birthday is next week so we must be staying in Korea.

Soobin is still singing in my mind while I prepare my solace selca day. My concept is boyfriend looks but make it as gay as possible. One of my group chats asks what I’m doing and I send them a sneak peak. They think it’s so cute. 

As I prepare for bed Soobin is still singing. He took a small break but I wish he would rest even more. His vocal chords must ache. 

@binniesboo tweets: @Soobin please rest well 🥺 you work such long hours 

I spend the days leading up to my birthday pretty miserable. Work is hard and I’m lonely without Felix by my side. Thankfully, we didn’t have a confrontation when I dropped his things off. 

Reminding myself that I miss the company more than the person is hard. No matter how extraordinary Felix is, he’s not my soulmate. I sincerely hope they find each other soon. 

There were even a few moments I considered using a hookup app, but the sweet melodies in my head stopped me. Soobin has a busy schedule with his comeback and his first show tonight. It’s hard to sleep with someone when my soulmate's voice is playing in my mind. 

Taehyun still refuses to tell me where he’s taking me. He insists that it’ll be a better experience if it’s a surprise. Last night he advised me to look my cutest, but if I’m not seeing Soobin what’s the point? I take his advice on the off chance that I will see him. 

We’ve gotten to Seoul by the time I figure out what should have been so obvious. Taehyun has seemed so pleased with himself. He’s dramatic for sure but rarely makes ‘best of your life’ statements.

“Are we going to Soobin’s show?!” I ask, turning towards him with wide eyes. Through the window behind him I can see Soobin’s face plastered across the side of buildings. “How did it take me this long to figure it out? Thank you so much!”

“I wanted to keep the surprise as long as possible.” He pouts pulling out his phone so he can show me the tickets. I hug him tightly and I’m so happy I could cry.

Every wisp of air leaves my lungs when I see he’s purchased front row seats. Those must have cost a fortune. Soobin’s voice starts playing in my mind and I sit back in my seat trying to process. 

I’m going to see my soulmate in person. We’re going to be close enough that he can see my face. Suddenly I wish I’d worn more full coverage makeup. 

“Wait! I don’t have my lightstick.” I complain feeling genuinely sad about it. 

Taehyun reaches into the bag at his feet and pulls out my lightstick. I’m not sure when he stole it from my room, but I’m so grateful.

“I thought of everything, don't worry!” He says with a smile that reaches his eyes. “I even brought condoms.” 

I punch his arm blushing at the thought of needing protection. Surely, Soobin wouldn’t even kiss me let alone sleep with me before we’ve been on a date. Then again I only know what he wants solace to know. 

Taehyun begins ranting about what he went through to get these tickets. While I listen to him I send out a tweet. 

@binniesboo: MY BEST FRIEND SURPRISED ME WITH FRONT ROW @soobin TICKETS SBXBSKWJEJRJD TAEHYUNNIE ILYSM

My replies are soon flooded with people telling me how excited they are for me. As usual, a few people can’t get over their jealousy but nothing could bring me down. 

Since we have front row seats we don’t need to arrive until an hour or two before the show. Taehyun has planned the day for us. Our first stop is a cafe near Soobin’s company that he used to go to as a trainee. The cafe is quite full for what time of day it is. After looking around I can tell a lot of the customers are solace. 

I order Soobin’s favorite drink and Taehyun insists on paying for everything because it’s my birthday. We chat excitedly while we drink. Taehyun takes photos of me next to a signed picture of Soobin hanging on the wall. 

My twitter notifications are more filled than usual. My group chat members are trying to meet me. We never thought I’d be coming to the show. They already planned to meet up and now they want me to join.

“My twitter friends want to meet up near the stadium. Let‘s go now before they have to go to their seats.”

“Okay.” He replies and orders a cab to take us. 

We end up having to walk half a mile because the car won’t come any closer to the stadium due to traffic. I’m happy to do anything right now. I can hear soundcheck through my ears and in my head as we approach the stadium. 

We get through security with no issues and soon are surrounded by people. It’s a little overwhelming and I’m starting to lose hope I’ll find my friends when I hear my username.

“Binniesboo!” I hear coming from somewhere in the sea of people. 

I look around for a few seconds before Taehyun spots my friends waving their hands. Beomgyu and Kai have been in this group chat with me for almost a year, but we’ve never had the chance to meet up.

“Hello! I’m so excited to meet you.” I say studying their faces. Somehow they are more handsome in person. “This is my best friend Taehyun.”

Taehyun bows then says something about needing to use the restroom. I nod then jump into a conversation about what song we think Soobin will open with. With this being the first show we don’t know what to expect. I have a vague idea from how he’s been practicing but even I’m not sure. 

“Oh by the way happy birthday, Yeonjun!” Kai says smiling widely. “Let’s get a meal all together afterwards if you’re free.” 

They are dressed surprisingly stylish. In the photos they post on twitter they never dress like this. Kai has traded his usual hoodies for a white button up shirt with printed letters and the top two buttons undone. He must want to look good in case he sees someone handsome. 

“Ah I wish we’d known earlier you were coming so we could prepare gifts.” Beomgyu mutters looking down at his phone briefly.

“No, no. Meeting you and seeing Soobin is the best gift ever.”

Taehyun returns with a large bag and I roll my eyes. Why does he always buy unnecessary things? How did he even get through the merch line that fast?

“You can’t complain these are birthday presents.” Taehyun says pulling out the spoils of his adventure. 

He’s bought multiple shirts and hoodies he knows I wanted. In addition to a picket he also bought three sets of premium photos. I seriously can’t believe his generosity. 

“Thank you!” I hug him tightly and he complains trying to push me away. I know he’s grateful for the love. 

For a while we sit on the ground waiting to be able to go to our seats. Kai and Beomgyu are sitting on the first level because the floor was already sold out by the time they got tickets. They are grateful they got tickets at all. 

Before we head to our seats Taehyun insists on taking photos of us. After five minutes I wave goodbye promising to meet up with them outside the venue. 

I update twitter with a picture of the three of us and write that I’m heading to my seat now. I stop at the bathroom while Taehyun continues to our seats. The line is already out the door but I’ll be damned if I miss a moment of Soobin. 

Several minutes later I've finished my business when I’m approached by a handsome man probably in his late twenties. He gives me a small bow and a kind smile. 

“You’re really handsome. Can I have your number?” 

He holds out his hand as he speaks and I see a business card. I can see the Big Hit Entertainment logo and my eyes widen. Soobin starts singing in my mind and I can hardly focus. 

“Oh...I’m not sure.” I rub the back of my neck uncomfortable with the idea of auditioning which is obviously what he wants. 

“Then just take the card. My number is there. If you decide you want to come in, call the number and I’ll arrange an audition for you.” 

Without another word the man walks away and I stand there stunned for a moment listening to Soobin rehearse one final time before the show starts. It takes a few minutes before I walk to my seat looking for my best friend. I spot him and once Im seated I immediately tell him what’s just happened. 

“You have to audition! This is once in a lifetime. You could be in the same label as your soulmate.” He keeps his voice down just in case anyone around us is listening in. “You could live out your dream in a company you trust more than others.”

“I’ll think about it.” I say and Taehyun rolls his eyes at me. 

This whole day has been a little overwhelming and we haven’t even got to the best part. I make Taehyun take a selfie with me. Then, I take a picture of the stage from my seat. Our seats are right in front of the barricade. Thankfully, we are in a seated section, but I’m sure no one will be seated for long. 

Sometime later a voice plays over the loudspeaker asking everyone to please take their seats. There is excitement thick in the air as we wait for beautiful Choi Soobin to step onto the stage. He stopped singing a while ago probably hoping to save his voice. 

My heart begins to race as the lights go down. This is it the moment I’ve waited two years for. I’m finally going to see the love of my life in person. I’m going to see my favorite artist perform just a few feet away from me. I glance at Taehyun and he had the biggest smile on his face. I’m forever thankful for his friendship and for the things he does.

When Soobin is finally raised up onto the stage I swear my heart stops. How can someone so magnificent be even more beautiful in person? Soobin’s hair is now pink, a great change from the blue it was last week. He’s been hiding his hair so I should have suspected. His outfit tells me his first number is Eternally. Soobin is trying to keep a serious face as the music starts. 

At the beat drop he starts dancing and I’m singing along with him. His forehead is wrinkled in confusion and I can’t tell if that’s what it is or just a dance face. I stop singing and his face relaxes into something more fitting for the song. Oh?

Taehyun is screaming the lyrics beside me as my eyes follow Soobin across the stage. Soobin goes into his next song without a hitch and again I sing along. He seems more comfortable now not even noticing my voice in his head. Or he’s too professional to show it. He stumbles on his choreography towards the end of the second song. He looks embarrassed when he finally introduces himself. 

The show is phenomenal just like I expected. Soobin made eye contact with me six times and each time I felt as if my minutes were numbered.

He only has a few songs left when he stops to give a speech. He pushes his hair off his forehead and sighs before looking across the crowd. He looks so nervous I wish I could hug him and tell him how well he’s doing.

“I’m so sorry I messed up earlier.” The crowd roars with a ‘No’ sound telling him it’s okay. “I know this sounds crazy but I think my soulmate is here.”

Everyone starts yelling at the top of their lungs including the girls behind me.

“Soobin oppa it’s me!!” She yells and I really want to roll my eyes. 

“I need everyone to be very quiet.” he makes a zipper motion over his mouth. “I’m going to play an unreleased song that only they know. They know the words they’ve sung it before. Soulmate if you’re out there please sing along.”

I’m amazed that the fans actually stay silent when the music starts. He told his band what to play. Wishlist starts and a nervous knot has worked its way into my stomach.

“Please tell me now.” Soobin and I sing at the same time and the girls around me scoff. 

I continue using my loudest voice so he’ll be able to find me in the crowd. Soobin goes to the wrong side of the stage so I turn on my solace bong and wave it until he notices me. He jumps off the stage much to his security team’s dislike and meets me at the barricade. We are still singing while looking into each other’s eyes. Our voices are echoing through the stadium but all I can think of is the brown eyes in front of me. 

I’m vaguely aware of Taehyun squealing behind me and the girls yelling to record this. Up close Soobin smells sweet even after dancing for nearly three hours. His cheeks look soft and I yearn to touch them. He touches my cheek as we finish the last chorus. 

“I found you.”

He walks away and is lifted back onto the stage. Without a word he starts the next song and security saves me from being attacked by the girls behind me. I grab Taehyun’s arm and security leads us both backstage. I can hear Soobin in my head but I can’t see him until we arrive in the green room. I tweet a keyboard smash and nothing else. 

On the screen I can see him performing with the biggest smile on his face. This doesn’t seem real. I met him. I’m backstage at his show right now. 

“Kang Taehyun?” One of the staff says while I continue to focus on the screen in front of me. “You auditioned with us recently right?” 

“Yes, I did.” Taehyun says and I can hear the subtle tremor of his voice. 

“You’ll receive your official email tomorrow but you’ve passed the first round of auditions. We were quite impressed by you.” 

I turn around to look at Taehyun then jump up and down with him. My best friend is going to live his dream. He’s made it through the first step. 

“Taehyunnie!! You did it.” 

“Now, Yeonjun…” The staff says. “Please audition your vocals are amazing and memorizing a song just from hearing Soobin singing it is incredible.”

“You aren’t mad that Soobin exposed his soulmate’s gender?” I blurt without thinking and the staff sighs. 

“It’s definitely going to be hell to sort out with the press but we want what’s best for our artists. You’re his soulmate and Soobin would be very unhappy if he couldn’t show you off to the world. Besides it’s not like we can confiscate every phone and camera that recorded that moment. Not to mention the people who already posted.” He puts a finger to his ear to listen to his ear piece. “Soobin will be here in two minutes. Everyone clear the room to give him some privacy.” 

“Thank you, sir. I’ll audition soon.”

He smiles before ushering everyone including Taehyun out of the room. My heart is racing trying to think of what I’ll say to Soobin. I’ve planned this moment in my head for years but now I can’t think of a single thing to say. 

Soobin’s hair is sticking to his forehead from sweat when he enters the room. He removes his outer jacket leaving him in a black tank top and jeans. His pink lip tint compliments his skin so well. 

“I’ve seen your tweets before.” Soobin says as he comes closer to me. “Yeonjun @binniesboo, right?” 

“Oh my god.” I blush thinking of all the questionable things I’ve tweeted. 

“I really liked your last selca day.” He wipes his face with a cloth. Then looks at me with bright eyes and a smile that could melt even the coldest hearts. “Can I hug you?”

I nod my head not trusting my voice to come out without cracking. He lurches forward taking me into his arms with a soft giggle. I return the hug holding him tight.

“I’m so glad I finally met you.” I whisper in his ear still holding right around his waist.

His body is muscular and sweaty from all the incredible dances. I wouldn’t trade this moment for the world. I finally feel at home. 

“Wait, it’s your birthday right? Happy birthday, my handsome soulmate.” He says holding me at arms length. 

He leans down to press a kiss to my head before backing away. He suddenly looks shy and I can’t contain myself. Soobin is real and standing right in front of me. HE JUST CALLED ME HANDSOME!

“Thank you.” I say walking towards him.“Let’s take a picture.”

He agrees enthusiastically and we take a picture in the mirror. He looks like a god standing next to me. We try a few poses including a few where he’s touching me. Every time he touches me my skin tingles. 

“Do you have to get back?” Soobin asks after we had been talking for a few minutes. 

“I’m supposed to have a meal with my twitter friends.” 

I don’t want to leave his side but I can’t bail on my friends just because I finally met my soulmate. Soobin thinks for a moment running a hand through his hair.

“Do you think we could have a meal all together? I already reserved a place for after the show. I don’t think they’d mind if I added a few more. They would have to sign NDA’s though and we’ll have to take their phones.”

“I think they would be okay with that. Let me call them.”

“Do you know what seats they were in?” He asks, looking around for his phone. “I can ask the staff to find them.”

It takes about half an hour but eventually we figure it all out. Beomgyu and Kai are thrilled to be having a meal with one of Korea’s finest. They finally believe I’m Soobin’s soulmate. 

Soobin’s bodyguards walk us to the car and Soobin insists my friends ride in the nicer, more roomy van. I think he just wants alone time. This car has a glass pane between the driver and the passengers. 

“Can I hold your hand?” Soobin asks and I’m taken aback. 

I’m used to people acting first without permission and apologizing later if needed. He’s so considerate of my feelings. He makes my heart warmer every moment.

“Yes, please.” he laughs then intertwines our fingers. 

This doesn’t feel like when Felix or Heeseung would hold my hand. This is entirely different and worlds better. Just being in his presence makes me feel less stressed even though I’m freaking out.

“Tell me more about how you grew up. You must know a lot about me already.”

For the entire ride I talk about how I grew up and he asks questions. He genuinely wants to know me and he can’t stop smiling. The man that has made me happy for the past few years is smiling because of me. 

“Have you seen all the embarrassing things I tweeted at you?” I ask not meeting his eye. He squeezes my hand.

“Only from the last few months.” He laughs and my heart dances at the sound. I can’t believe he’s right in front of me. “I see far worse every day. You just send me cute messages.”

Soobin helps me out of the car but lets go of my hand after a pointed look from one of his bodyguards. I knew it’d take time before we’d be able to be seen in public together. I’m willing to wait as long as I have too. 

“Yeonjun!” Kai says appearing with Taehyun and Beomgyu in tow. “This place looks so nice. Ah, Soobin! So nice to meet you.” 

The three of them bow deeply and Soobin blushes. You think he’d be used to this kind of behavior. Maybe he is the shy soft man I thought he was. 

I introduce my friends to Soobin as we enter the restaurant. I can tell my friends have a million questions but I’m swept away to sign an NDA before they can ask anything. 

Once I join Soobin he starts asking my favorite type of food. Conversation flows so easy with him. Soon my friends join the conversation too and it’s like we are old middle school friends meeting up for a meal. 

I excuse myself to the restroom for a moment of calm. This has been the wildest day of my life and it’s not even over yet. I reapply my lip tint and clean up my eye makeup before heading back to the table.

“Yeonjun, my company has an audition spot open tomorrow morning. It’s the last first round for the rest of the year.” Soobin says when I sit back down he places a hand on my knee then quickly retracts it. 

“I-it’s okay.” I say softly then continue louder. “Ah, I don’t live here. I don’t know if it’s realistic for me to come back tomorrow.”

He replaces his hand on my knee and his lips fall into a thoughtful pout. He looks at my friends and Taehyun’s eyes light up.

“Let’s stay at my parent’s apartment! They are in New York right now anyways. I want to explore more. It’s perfect.” 

The thought of seeing Soobin again so soon makes me happy but I’m nervous I won’t be good enough to make it. That would be so embarrassing.

“Okay.” I say putting my hand over Soobin’s hand that is resting on my knee. 

Beomgyu begins talking to Soobin about his writing process and for the next hour we are enthralled with his stories. By eleven we decide we’d better head back to the apartment. Beomgyu and Kai take off before us and Taehyun gets in the car to give me a moment of privacy with Soobin. 

Soobin hands me his phone and I stare up at him confused. 

“Put your number in silly! How else am I supposed to contact you?”

He shows off his bunny smile as I shakily type my number into his phone saving it as a plain Yeonjun. I hand him back his phone and he cautiously hugs me. When he realizes I’m okay with the hug he pulls me in closer. He holds me at an arms length. 

“Do you have time tomorrow?” I ask feeling bold.

“I have another show but you should be done by noon. Come to the company and we can have lunch?” He says with his hand cupping my cheek. He must be able to feel my cheek getting warmer. 

“It’s a date.” I say and immediately try to back track. “I-I mean-”

“No, it’s okay.” He says pulling his hand away. “Finally, a date with my soulmate. We can have a proper one later but for now this will have to do.”

“See you tomorrow, Binnie.”

He smiles again. His cheeks must hurt from how much he’s smiled, mine sure do. If I’m going to be around him more I’m sure I’ll get used to it. 

“Sleep well, Jun and fighting on your audition. I know you’ll do amazing.” 

I get into the car and Taehyun is smiling like a mad man. His plan worked perfectly and I couldn’t be more grateful for him. He gives me a few moments to decompress before he pounces. Taehyun asks every question he can think of on the way home. 

“Did he kiss you?” Taehyun asks after we’ve stepped inside his parent’s apartment. 

“N-no.” I blush thinking of how his spot lips might feel pressed against my own. “We just met, that's hardly appropriate.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

I hate when he’s right. I’ve had a handful of one night stands and a few boyfriends I’ve kissed on the first date. Soobin is different. I want everything to be perfectly paced and not rushed at all. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to do anything that might make me feel uncomfortable. He asked permission for small things and that melts my heart. 

“He isn’t just some guy. I’ve heard his voice in my mind for my whole life! Excuse me for wanting to do things right.” 

“I know. I know. Come on, we should get some sleep.”

After taking a shower I put on Taehyun’s pajamas. Thankfully he likes big clothes. I walk into his sister’s room and get into bed. 

I decide to put my twitter on private after seeing how many new followers and mentions I have. Netizens are already being rude to Soobin but solace are defending him as much as they can. A few of my mutuals left the fandom and it’s hard to believe I was once friends with them.

An unknown number texts me and I raise my eyebrows before I remember I gave Soobin my number. I save his number as Soobin 🥰

Soobin 🥰: It’s Soobin! I was wondering if you need to go home right after lunch tomorrow or if you’d like to come to my show. It would make me really happy to have you there again. 

A squeal I didn’t know I was capable of producing leaves my mouth. It would make him happy to be around me? The same goes for me, of course, but seeing him say that. AHHH!

Me: Ah Soobin! I would love to come to your show again. I have work the next day but I can make it home with plenty of time. I hope you sleep well ☺️

He doesn’t respond so after looking at the pictures we took together I go to sleep. I fall asleep surprisingly easy for how much is going through my head. 

In the morning Taehyun wakes me up and we head to a cafe near where the auditions are being held. I’m wearing my pants from yesterday with a hoodie of Taehyun’s. I hardly eat anything because I’m so nervous. 

“Yeonjun, you are going to do well.” Taehyun says as we walk into the building. 

Taehyun is just here for moral support. A message from Soobin appears just after I’ve grabbed my number.

Soobin 🥰: Good morning, Yeonjun ☺️

Me: Good morning ☀️ 

Me: see you later 

His message alone is enough to make me smile like an idiot. This is not what I should be thinking about right now. I need to focus on my audition if I want to succeed. 

We start with dancing and are given one hour to learn three minutes of choreography. There are a few talented people, but Taehyun was right. I dance circles around most of them. They give each of us an opportunity to freestyle and they seem impressed by me. 

“03042019 it says you can rap and sing. We all heard you sing last night, but could you rap for us?”

“Of course, sir.”

My heart thumps in my chest as I start but I’m soon overtaken with confidence. The other people auditioning look impressed and that only boosts my ego. 

The judges have wide eyes when I finish. They write on their papers before addressing me. 

“We will email your results by the end of the week. Thank you.”

I bow thanking them for their time and exit the building. Taehyun left when I came inside. He’s going to explore Seoul since he has nothing else to do. 

I have a little time until lunch so I head back to the apartment to wash my face and change my clothes. Why is Taehyun shorter than me? His pants won’t fit me. Maybe if I roll them up. Hmm. 

Taehyun’s pants end up looking fine once I roll them at the bottoms. I walk out of the building with nervousness bubbling in my chest. Being around Soobin will get easier, but for now it’s still overwhelming. 

About a block away from the company I get out of the car and call Soobin. Just this act alone makes me nervous. What if I interrupt him?

“Yeonjun?” He asks and I can hear music in the background. 

“I’m outside the company, will you come find me?”

“Of course. See you soon!”

He hangs up the phone and I walk closer to the building trying to not draw attention to myself. There are sasaengs standing outside and I’d rather not interact with them. 

Several minutes later I see pink hair pop out of the front door. Soobin waves to me and I quickly walk over with a smile blooming across my face. 

“How did your audition go?” Soobin asks leading me somewhere. 

He’s wearing a loose white shirt and adidas sweatpants. I wouldn’t like it in most people but it’s nice to see him so comfortable. Soobin looks energized as we walk down the hall. 

“I think it went well. Some of the participants didn’t seem to have much experience.” Soobin giggles and I raise an eyebrow. “What?”

“My main producer was there and he texted me to complain. He said there were maybe five good ones and he thinks only three of you will make it to the second round. He seemed impressed by you!” 

Soobin looks ecstatic as he tells me this. He continues telling me what the producer thought until we reach a door labeled ‘Choi Soobin Do Not Disturb.’ This must be his studio. 

He removes his shoes and I follow suit. I’ve seen the inside of his studio in videos but it’s so much nicer in person. On the table I can see he’s ordered gimbap and a variety of drinks.

“It’s so much nicer in person.” I mutter watching Soobin take a seat on the sofa.

He pats the space beside him and I carefully take a seat. His records are handing on the wall along with pictures of things important to him. In a video a long time ago he explained the meaning. 

“Thank you!” He eats a piece of food then looks at the drinks. “I wasn’t sure what you like so I got a few kinds.”

I’m not sure what to say and it’s silent for a few minutes while we eat. Then I ask Soobin some of the questions I’ve always wanted to know. Things about his childhood and school life that he hasn’t shared. What he’s really like. Not just what he projects. 

“Excuse me if I’m being too nosy but have you dated? Your tweets make it seem like…” Soobin trails off taking a sip of his coke.

My face heats up as I look away. Just how many tweets has he read? If he’s read the ones about me getting railed, I should leave now. 

“Honestly, I got lonely often so I’ve dated a few people.”

Soobin nods his head like he understands. He looks away for a moment before he speaks.

“Me too. Last year was the last time. You started singing more often and it was harder for me to focus on someone else.” He chuckles. “At least I got a few good songs out of it.”

I hadn’t expected Soobin to have dating experience. He’s so well media trained I was fooled to thinking he was pure. Then again he does have a few songs that performed a little too well for him to have done nothing. 

“I’m very glad to get to know the real you.”

Soobin’s eyes are shining as he lays a hand on my shoulder gently. He waits for my reaction before leaning closer to me. Our faces are just a few inches apart when he backs away. I’ve never felt a greater urge to kiss someone. Thoughts of kissing him have often filled my mind but until now it was just a fantasy. 

A knock on the door brings me back to reality. Soobin’s face turns serious as he stands to open the door. After seeing who it is he turns around and begins picking up the trash. I help him and he smiles at me.

“Time to go.” He puts the trash into a plastic bag and hands it to the person outside. “Can you hand me my jacket, Jun?”

I look at his set up and see his phone and jacket. I grab the soft grey jacket and his phone. It lights up and I see a photo he must’ve taken on stage as his background. A photo of solace. 

“Where was that photo taken?” I ask, handing him his things. 

“Oh, my lock screen? California!” Soobin looks curious as we walk down the hallway. “What’s yours?” 

Embarrassed, I pull my phone out of my pocket and show him. It’s a selfie he posted two weeks ago. He looks cozy and comfortable in the photo. 

“It’s a photo of you.”

“You were singing when I took that!” He looks love sic until he thinks of something else. “It was a love song. Nothing like you’ve been singing this week.”

“You were right when you said-”

A facetime call come through from Kai and Beomgyu and I give Soobin an apologetic look before answering. They never call me out of the blue it must be important. 

“Yeonjun! Wait, are you in the Big Hit building?” Beomgyu asks his face comically close to the camera.

“SOOBIN?” Kai yells and I cringe pointing the camera at Soobin momentarily.

“We are about to leave what’s so important you need to call me in the middle of the day?”

Kai and Beomgyu smile like they have a secret. 

“3! 2! 1! WE PASSED OUR AUDITION!” They yell and I’m thoroughly confused.

Then I remember them joking about sending in videos to bighit. Was it never a joke? I’ve seen them dance and heard them sing. They have the talent for it. I could be a trainee with all my best friends!

“No way! My friend Taehyun passed too! They said they’d tell me results by the end of the week.”

“My favorite producer wouldn’t shut up about him.” Soobin says as we continue to walk down the hall.

We talk for a few more minutes before I hang up because I need to get in the car. Soobin lays his hand in between us offering it to me. I gladly take it feeling grateful for the warmth and the soft touch. 

“Did you break up with someone last week?” Soobin asks suddenly and I pull away. 

“How much of my twitter did you read?” I say more forcefully than I meant to.

“Ah, I’m sorry maybe I shouldn’t be so forward. It’s easy to recognize when you’re going through something because you sing sad songs. I was worried.”

He was worried? Without even meeting me? Soobin didn’t have any knowledge about me other than my music taste and he still worried. I worry about him a lot but I think that might be different. 

“I’m sorry if I caused you stress. It was just a little different this time, but that’s all in the past now. I’ve found you.”

He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes like he might be worrying about the lasting impact my relationships had on me. 

“I’ll stop asking such invasive questions, we can do that when we are a little more comfortable.”

Soobin holds my hand all the way to the studium. We enter through the back to avoid being seen by any fans. Soobin is whisked away for sound check and last minute fittings. I’m left alone in the green room.

Things are a mess on twitter. I see ‘solace’ saying the company should drop Soobin because no one wants an artist who’s found their soulmate. Not to mention the blatant homophobia coming from hundreds of accounts. 

Even if I wasn’t his soulmate, I would still want him to find them. I can’t fathom people calling themselves fans when they don’t have his best interest at heart. He’s a person with feelings and flaws just like everyone else. Too many people fail to realize idols are just like us when they go home. 

I don’t see Soobin until after the soundcheck and he looks upset. After exchanging looks with one of the managers the staff leave the room. Soobin sits beside me and leans his head against my shoulder. 

“Only half of them showed up.” His voice breaks and he buries his face into my shoulder. “I saw people trying to sell their tickets.”

I can feel tears seeping into the fabric on my shoulder. Quickly, I pull Soobin into a hug and stroke the back of his head.

“It’s their loss. You are incredible no matter what those fake fans say about you.” I hold him close trying to think of something that might calm his sobs. “I’ve been a solace for years. There are enough of us that think like me and others who will get over the shock.”

“What if the stadium is empty too?” He pulls away wiping his tears.

“Then you put on the best show possible for whoever is smart enough to stick around.” I hug him tightly before pulling back. “And please, stop looking at twitter. It’s going to make you upset when you’ve done nothing wrong.”

He doesn’t say anything for a while and I start looking at twitter. I show him the nice tweets, until the makeup artist asks him to sit somewhere else. I follow them to the makeup chair, but step further away when I see a staff with a camera. 

Soobin begins talking about last night's show and how he can’t wait to see everyone tonight. It’s crazy to see the immediate switch from every day Soobin with a million worries to idol Soobin. 

He’s more confident in person then he makes himself seem. I wonder if it’s because I’m being shy. I’ve idolized this man for years so it’s quite difficult to be my usual self.

“Yeonjun?” Soobin asks still sitting in the hair and makeup chair sometime later. 

“Yes?” I reply looking up to his bangs clipped back in a way that makes my heart shake. 

“Are your friends coming tonight? They were so nice yesterday. We can upgrade their seats.”

I explain that Beomgyu and Kai have tickets for today but Taehyun doesn’t. Soobin looks at one of the staff and they nod their head before walking out of the room. I assume they are going to work the tickets out. My friends will be thrilled, but I know this will lead to teasing about my ‘soulmate’ privilege. 

Soobin asks me about something that happened in his fandom awhile ago and I’m shocked that he saw it. For a while we talk about crazy things he wish he wouldn’t see. 

“Then there was that video of me falling off the stage in Mexico-”

The chime of my phone interrupts him and I see another facetime call from Beomgyu. I quickly answer it giggling at the thought of them jumping up and down with excitement.

“Hi, both of us just got emails saying our seats have been upgraded! Please tell us someone isn’t trying to trick us.” Beomgyu says as soon as I pick up. He and Kai are using one phone squished together so they are both in frame.

“It’s not fake!” I assure them and Soobin laughs from behind me.

“Don’t use your soulmate privilege! We can never pay you back for this.” Kai whines clawing at his sweatshirt.

“It was my idea.” Soobin says walking up behind me. “Don’t worry about it. You have been so nice to me and Yeonjun. It’s honestly no big deal. I hope you enjoy the show!”

I talk to them for a few minutes longer trying to reassure them that this is okay. Honestly, if I was in their shoes I’d feel the same way. Taehyun decided to join Beomgyu and Kai, but I’ll be staying back here or watching from the side of the stage. 

The longer I spend with Soobin the more comfortable I feel. I think I’m finally getting over the whole starstruck thing. We spend the time before the concert learning more about each other without going too deep.

From the multiview screen in the green room we can see the stadium is still packed. Just like I knew it would be. I don’t say it out loud but I can tell how happy he is.

I watch most of the show from the side of the stage. He’s absolutely incredible as always and this view just gives me a greater appreciation. My soulmate is really one of Korea’s top artists. I hope one day we can share the stage. 

“When can I see you again?” Soobin asks after the show spread across the couch. 

“If I pass my audition-”

“When you pass your audition.” He corrects making a fake angry face.

“Anyways...once I get the email I’ll make my plans. The second round is next week and you don’t leave on your U.S. tour for another two weeks. So next week if all goes well.”

He tilts his head back and I stare at his exposed neck. For a moment he says nothing, then he looks up and smiles. 

“Just let me know and I’ll plan something for us.”

Taehyun appears with one of Soobin’s managers and my heart aches. I’m already so attached to him. Hopefully, I’ll see him next week. 

“Okay.” 

I’m about to walk away when Soobin jumps to his feet and holds out his arms. I step into his arms and I hear Taehyun click his tongue. He must be jealous. We haven’t found his soulmate yet. Taehyun thinks she’s American, but likes kpop. 

“I’m going to do a v-live when I get home, but text me when you get home safely, okay?” 

I nod then turn away to Taehyun who looks tired but still excited. He starts talking fast about the show and I listen to him diligently while we make our way to the car. The halls are dark but Soobin’s staff knows where to go. 

“I have an idea.” Taehyun says once we are in the car heading home. “When you get your email that you passed we should move to Seoul. My parents have multiple places and they’d be happy to let us have one until we move into trainee dorms.”

Why is he making plans when I haven’t even passed the audition yet? I don’t want to get too excited in case it doesn’t work out. Taehyun puts a hand on my shoulder.

“I guess so, but what about my apartment? I still have months left on the lease.”

“I’ll pay whatever fee to get you out of it.” I’m about to object but he puts his hand over my mouth and gives me a stent look. “You can pay me back when we debut together.”

For a moment I imagine a world in which I debut with my best friend. Nothing would make me happier than to spend every day working with him. We know each other so well we’d make the perfect team. For some reason I’ve always imagined myself in a five piece group.

I want to argue more but I see a notification that Soobin is live. I curl up on the seat and watch my soulmate greet his fans. Soobin talks about how great these last two days were. He’s ignoring comments about me and I'm grateful. Most of the comments are very nice. 

“Please be kind to me and to each other and everyone else.” Soobin says as we pull into my apartment complex. I say goodbye to Taehyun and grab my stuff before heading inside. I’m still watching Soobin speak. 

Once inside I put the v-live on my laptop so I can text Soobin that I’m home. I watch his phone ding and his eyes light up. He can’t stop smiling and he looks at the camera with a shy face.

“I’m going to go now. My friend texted me. I hope you enjoyed the show and I can’t wait for the rest of tour! See you soon, Solace.”

Soobin🥰: i’m glad you’re home safe. please rest well 

Me: Sleep well, Binnie

Even after spending hours with him today, a simple text makes my heart flutter. I’ve never doubted our soulmate system but every moment I trust it more. 

Soobin starts singing as I get into the shower. I join in singing harmony and I can hear the smile in his voice. Behind his vocals water splashes and my thoughts get steamy a little too quickly. Cold water calms my thoughts and other problem. Before I know it I’m falling asleep to the sound of Soobin’s voice in my mind.

Every morning I wake up with a text from my soulmate wishing me a good morning. Soobin is busy preparing last minute things for the American leg of the tour, but he makes time for me. Whenever he has a break he sends me a message or a selfie. 

On Wednesday, my day off, I’m sitting in bed when I receive an email from Bighit Entertainment. I jump up as I read the email informing me I’ve made it to the second round. A victory cry leaves my body without a thought. My dreams are coming true. 

My first instinct is to call Soobin and after two rings I’m thinking of hanging up, but then he answers. 

“Hello?” He sounds out of breath like he might have been rehearsing. 

“I passed the audition!! I’ll be there on Friday.” I say and I can’t contain my excitement. I’m practically bouncing around the room.

“Really?!” Soobin sounds just as excited as me. “I’m so proud of you! They told me two days ago but I was forbidden from telling you. It was so hard to keep the secret.”

“Did I interrupt your practice?” 

“Yes, but I was about to take a break anyways. Can you let me know when you’ll be here on Friday? I’m sure you have a lot of stuff to figure out so no rush.”

He’s so kind and willing to work with me. The fact that he wants to make time for me even with his busy schedule makes me like him all the more.

“Of course. I’ll text you later. Right, now I want to call my parents and friends.” I pause then continue still full of happiness. “Have a good practice.”

“I’m so proud of you. Talk to you later. Bye.” 

The next few hours are spent calling everyone to tell them my great news. My parents are excited for me but my father still looked like he wasn’t sure. 

My mother is a lot more internet savvy than my father so she’s seen the video of Soobin and I. She’s happy for me despite my worries that she might not like him because he’s a man. She wouldn’t shut up about how rich and handsome he is. I can’t argue about that but she doesn't need to go on and on about it. 

Taehyun, Beomgyu and Kai are the last people I call. Since the concert we’ve added Taehyun to our group chat and he’s getting along with everyone well. No one is surprised I made it but they are so happy. Taehyun invites them to stay at his parent’s apartment with us and they gladly accept. 

“I think my soulmate is on Stayc stan twitter. I saw a video the other day that sounded just like my soulmate. I’m scared to message her because what if it’s not her that'd be awkward.” Taehyun days after we’ve figured out our arrangements.

“The worst that could happen is an awkward conversation. The best that could happen is you finally find the voice in your head.” Beomgyu says and I can tell he’s trying not to roll his eyes. 

They’ve become really close over the last few days and Beomgyu has a low tolerance for stupidity. I agree with Beomgyu. Not everyone has as easy of a time as me.

“What should I DM her? I can’t just start with ‘Hey I think you might be my soulmate.’ That’d be weird.”

It takes thirty minutes for us to think of something that won’t get him immediately blocked by this mystery girl. 

Taehyun explained that the video was an edit with the girl's voice over it. Her carrd makes Taehyun think her name is Tasia. He couldn’t find a photo of her but it seems like she’s one year younger than him. 

I begin packing my belongings and thinking of the memories I’ve made in this place. Most of them are easily forgettable. So many drunk nights with boys who couldn’t be who I really needed. Of course they couldn't. There is only one Choi Soobin. 

“Jun!” Taehyun calls from the doorway as he removes his shoes. I didn’t invite him over but that’s never stopped him before. “I sang for this girl and she heard me! She’s American but she’s in Korea teaching for the year.”

“So when are you going to meet her?” I ask when he walks into the living room. 

He sees that I’m packing and immediately starts helping me much to my surprise.

“I’m taking her to dinner on Friday. Before you ask, we video called so I could make sure she wasn’t lying. She’s beautiful, Yeonjun.”

Taehyun won’t stop talking about Tasia while we pack my things. It makes me happy to see him so excited. I’ve never seen him talk like this before. Instant love. I wonder if I look like that when I talk about Soobin.

Every moment that I’m not packing or working is spent practicing choreography and vocals. I need to train hard or I’ll never achieve my dream.

Soobin sends me text messages every morning. We decided on an evening date. Soobin won’t disclose any details and it’s driving me a little insane. How do I dress for a first date with my soulmate when he won’t tell me what we are doing? 

On Friday morning I wake up early filled with excitement. Today I’m moving to a new city and having my first date with Soobin. 

Soobin🥰: Good morning, Junie! See you later 💚

Me: Good morning ☺️

I roll out of Taehyun’s guest bed and gather my things. The last thing I want is to leave anything behind. Last night we packed everything into a moving truck and today we will spend the day unpacking. The second round of auditions is on Monday. Whoever passes round two will officially become a trainee. Maybe we are being a little arrogant moving all our stuff before we officially pass, but Taehyun doesn’t think there is a timeline where we don’t pass.

Soobin told me last night we would be doing group performances. He said typically people auditioning know the second round is more about teamwork. It’s important to be able to work with people in this industry.

“Taehyun,” I call through the door as I knock. “Get up we need to leave in an hour.”

Ten minutes later Taehyun joins me in the kitchen with a smile on his face. He unlocks his phone then shows me a picture of a pretty girl. I assume this must be Tasia. 

I do the same showing him a selfie Soobin sent me that he didn’t post on twitter. Taehyun makes a fake mad face but we end up laughing. 

After eating breakfast we get into the car with the last of our things and leave for our hopefully new lives in the city. Our soulmates nearby will surely change a lot of things.

When Taehyun told his parents his plans to move into the apartment they removed his sister's things. Except her bed they’ll have to share that until the new ones arrive. They didn’t seem particularly bothered by it, so that’s a plus. 

His parents offered me their room which they have also redone for our stay. I think it’s a little extravagant but Taehyun says his parents have been looking for a reason to do it for a long time. 

It's nearly four by the time everyone is here and mostly done unpacking. I’m supposed to meet Soobin at 6PM at the Bighit building. He texted me a few hours ago saying his original plan was no longer available, but his next best will still be amazing.

I spend much longer than I’d like to admit on my hair and makeup. By the end I do look hot though. Beomgyu whistles at me when I walk into the living room. Kai gives Beomgyu the stink eye and I momentarily wonder what’s going on before I see Taehyun.

He’s parted his hair so you can see his forehead and he’s wearing just a little bit of makeup. He’s chosen a nice button up shirt but made the outfit more casual with a pair of dark pants. Taehyun has chosen a long coat to tie the look together. He looks handsome. 

He’s taking his soulmate out for dinner then maybe to a movie at least that’s what he said this morning. They are going with the flow because apparently that’s more her style. He must be so grateful his mother made him study english right now. 

I’m quite nervous as I ride the public transportation to the Bighit building. Each passing second makes my heart beat faster. I’m about to have a date with Choi Soobin.

It’s intimidating walking into the building even though I’ve already been here a few times. I stop at one of the front desks to ask where Soobin is. He told me to do this and the staff leads me to the roof.

I close the door behind me and see the staff reopen it and stick a wedge of wood down. My eyes scan the rooftop looking for Soobin. I walk around the corner and in the gleam of the setting sun I see him.

His hair is pushed off his forehead and he’s wearing a suit minus the jacket. I feel a little underdressed but that thought is thrown out of my head quickly. Soobin is sat at a table surrounded by candles. The round table has a deep red table cloth that matches his suit almost perfectly. In front of him on the table there are a variety of dishes. Soft piano music is coming from a speaker behind Soobin’s chair. He’s thought of everything.

“Yeonjun!” His face lights up as he speaks. He jumps to his feet narrowly missing the table. “I missed you.”

I walk towards him and we meet somewhere in the middle and hug. He doesn’t need to ask for this anymore. I’m more comfortable in his arms than anywhere else. He smells just as good as he looks. 

“I missed you too.” I say not meeting his eye.

We sit down gazing into the beautiful sunset for a moment before I hear the shutter of an iphone camera. I whip my head towards him and see he’s taking photos of me. 

“You’re so handsome. I couldn’t resist.”

I can feel a blush rushing to my cheeks and I pull my own phone out. He gives me a shy look but smiles nonetheless.

“Solace will love this.” 

That makes him smile so big his dimples show. I take a few zoomed in far enough that you can’t see the meal in front of us. I can’t get over how utterly stunning he is in every one.

He reaches for my hand and pulls me into his side to take a few pictures together. We are laughing by the time we settle down on separate sides of the table. 

“Originally, I wanted to take you to a restaurant I really like but my manager advised against it.”

We had already been talking and eating for several minutes when he said this. It makes sense that we’d need to be in private. Sometimes I forget he’s a superstar when he’s telling me about something funny his nephew did or how his mother scolded him. 

“I like this. No one needs to worry and I have you all to myself.”

I’m not sure where that confidence came from but I’m happy to see the flush of pink to his cheeks in the dimming light. 

We continue to eat until most of the plates are empty and it’s gotten much colder outside. I don’t want to say anything and ruin our beautiful moment but I’m cold.

“Let’s go to my studio for a minute then we can go for a walk?” Soobin says wiping his mouth on a napkin before pulling out a mint. He offers me one and I accept trying not to think about why he wants nice breath. 

“Yeah. That sounds nice.” 

I’m shocked when he takes my hand but I’m grateful for the warmth. He looks down at my hand before he speaks. 

“Oh. Your hand is so cold. Why didn’t you tell me you were cold?” He looks concerned and my heart thumps.

“I’m fine, promise. I didn’t want to ruin our moment.”

He seems surprised when I say that but keeps walking without another word. We arrive at his studio and remove our shoes before stepping inside. It looks the same as it did last week. Maybe a little more messy. There is sheet music strung across the table. 

“Here.” He hands me a fuzzy hooded sweater and I accept it. 

After putting the sweater on, Soobin is staring at me. I almost ask him if he wants to fight but I don’t think that’s appropriate. He puts on another jacket and runs a hand through his hair.

I step closer to him until we are almost toe to toe. He puts a hand on my waist and I copy his action. I stare at his soft pink lips wondering if he wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss him.

I swear my heart might beat out of my chest as Soobin traces a finger across my jawline. He lifts my head so I’ll look into his eyes. I want to close my eyes but I know I shouldn’t. 

“Let’s go for a walk first.” He says in a low voice.

I’ve never heard him use that voice before which compels me to follow him. It’s dark outside making it easier for Soobin to be in public with me without causing suspicion. 

First? What does he mean first? He wants to kiss me? Has he thought about kissing me? Obviously, I’ve thought about kissing him more than I’d like to admit. The thought of him having the same thoughts seems like a wild fantasy. Like that fanfiction I read last month where he and Sana from Twice are in a master sub relationship while struggling with the hardships of being idols. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” I ask as we walk down the street.

The street lights cast a dim glow on Soobin’s face. I think he would be beautiful no matter the situation. Everything about him is so attractive. His skin is clear and looks soft. I wish I could touch it. 

“I’ve asked for the day off. I was hoping to spend time with you.”

He wants to spend time with me? What could we do? I know everything doesn’t need to be a big event but I need to impress him. He might get bored of me. Even soulmates sometimes don’t stay with each other. Not that I understand why someone would do that. 

“Oh. What do you want to do?” 

He seems to muse over this for a minute before he pulls me to sit on a bench facing a grass field. Soobin takes my hand and holds it inside his pocket to keep it warm. 

“Something simple. Lets get boba and chicken then watch movies all day.”

It’s never occurred to me that he probably doesn’t get to do that often. I want him to have normal experiences too. Everyone deserves a comfy movie day. 

“That sounds wonderful.” I squeeze his hand and his smile brightens the darkness.

“Let me know when you wake up tomorrow and I’ll come get you. Or we could stay at Taehyun’s place if you’re more comfortable.”

“Ahh. There are three other boys living there. I don’t want them to bother you.” I say and Soobin makes a face of confusion. 

“I don’t think they would, but I’m glad to follow what you want.” 

He pulls my hand out of his pocket and up to his mouth. He plants a soft his across my knuckles and it takes everything in me not to scream. 

Soobin stands and I follow him. We are walking towards a tree wrapped in fairy lights. This man sure knows how to make me weak in my knees. 

He takes a picture of me while I’m wondering how I hit the jackpot of soulmates. This is the most one on a million thing to ever happen. Last week I was fanboying over him now he wants to hold my hand. 

As I look at the tree Soobin steps closer to me until when I turn around he’s right in front of me. I jump but he puts a hand on the small of my back. My hand is on his chest and I can feel his muscles even through his jacket.

Soobin’s other hand holds my cheek and jaw, lifting it to make eye contact. His eyes are shining but they look nervous, something that doesn’t fit his normal persona. His hand is warm and soft like your favorite blanket right out of the dryer. 

“Yeonjun?” he says softly.

“Hmm?” I don’t trust myself to speak with my soulmate's hand on my cheek.

“May I kiss you?”

My eyes widen before I take a breath to regain my cool. I nod my head and he eyes me for a second before leaning in. His lips taste like mint and are soft like silk. I don’t feel like I’m kissing a world renowned singer/songwriter. I’m kissing Choi Soobin, my soulmate with no fancy title. We are just two people. 

It’s easily the most exciting kiss I’ve ever had. My stomach is filled with butterflies as we continue to kiss. No one can compete with Soobin. I feel like I must be dreaming. 

When we pull away neither of us know what to say, so we giggle. His laugh is musical in person and makes my heart sing. We kiss again and again. It’s such a nice feeling nearly indescribable.

A driver is waiting for us when we get back to the Bighit building. Soobin insists on coming with me to make sure I get home safely. He holds my hand in the car. 

“Your friends are nice. I want to say hello.” Soobin says trying to convince me this isn’t a waste of his precious time. “Anyways, it’s more time with you.”

Beomgyu and Kai are watching a youtube video titled ‘Soobin in america part 3’ curled up on the couch together when we walk in. They quickly shut it off seeming embarrassed to have been caught watching that. 

“I love those videos! It makes me seem funny.” Soobin says and all three of us give him a strange look.

“But you are funny.” Kai says making room for us on the sofa. 

A moment ago it was covered in clothes that Beomgyu still hasn’t put away. I’m sure he’ll get there eventually. Taehyun’s sister has a big closet but these boys are lazy when it comes to things like this.

“Have you ever read fanfiction about yourself?” Beomgyu asks with no prior reason.

“No! Beomie why would you ask that?”

Kai is giving him the same taken aback look. Beomgyu is too bold to be talking to my soulmate. He’s going to scare him away. Unless, Soobin likes being treated just like another one of the guys. Beomgyu would ask anyone else about their fanfiction reading habits.

“I’ve read a few actually. Some of them are well written. Usually, I’ll read things about other idols if I want to read fanfiction. I like Namjin and Satzu even though neither of them are together.”

Beomgyu pouts for a second like he might’ve thought one of those couples was real. He has gone on hour long rants about Namjin before. I bet he’s excited to hear tea from Soobin. 

Kai and Beomgyu alternate asking questions for a while. They want tea about the industry but Soobin doesn’t feel comfortable telling us what he knows. 

“Have you ever dated an idol?” Kai asks, then looks at me and slaps a hand to his mouth. 

I start panicking because I have no idea what to say or do. We haven’t discussed that and I don’t want him to answer that in front of my friends. Soobin not wanting to answer also means he has and how can I ever live up to an idol. Actually, fuck that yes I can. I’m his soulmate for a reason. Those idols don’t get to spend the rest of their lives with him. 

“We haven’t discussed our dating history yet so let’s leave that for another time.” Soobin says glancing over at me with a small smile.

I quickly change the conversation to a lighter topic and soon we are laughing. Soobin takes me hand and I can see Kai raising his eyebrow at me. I’m not sure if he’s judging me or not. 

Maybe he’d understand if he had a soulmate. I really want to say that out loud but I don’t think now is the right time to pick a fight with him. Instead I listen to Beomgyu describe a trip he and Kai went on last year. 

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were soulmates. It sounds like you are describing a romantic getaway. ” Soobin says, looking between Beomgyu and Kai. 

They start laughing harder than I’ve ever seen them laugh. It takes several minutes to console them enough that we can understand them and then they start arguing.

“I said over a year. You owe me!” Beomgyu pushes Kai’s shoulder. 

“Yeonjun didn’t figure it out. Soobin did, no money.” Kai retorts then turns to us. “When we first started talking to you we made a bet to see how long it would take you to realize we are soulmates.”

“We thought it would be a few months tops. I’ve posted photos of me kissing his cheek.”

Suddenly, I’m remembering every weird thing I brushed off. It was none of my business but maybe I am not very perceptive. How did I miss this?

“Bros being bros.” I say then continue, “I just thought you were really affectionate to your friends.”

“I told you he was too dumb to realize it. He would’ve had to catch us making out to believe it.”

“Hey that’s rude!” I reply looking over to Soobin who seems to find this whole thing hilarious.

“You’ve known them for a year and video called multiple times and you didn’t figure it out?” Soobin questions and I flick his bicep.

“They weren’t that gay on the timeline.”

The next half hour is spent talking about obvious clues I missed. I’m so happy that Beomgyu and Kai have each other. All my best friends have their soulmate. No room for jealousy anymore. 

“It’s been nice hanging out with you but I should go. See you soon.” He says to Beomgyu and Kai sometime later.

“Bye.” They say together already turning back to the TV where I’m certain they will watch Soobin videos.

I walk Soobin outside the building. He looks genuinely happy and that makes everything worth it. I’m so glad he’s getting along with my best friends. It makes life so much easier. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says leaning close to me. 

“See you tomorrow.” 

I lean forward for a chaste kiss but am interrupted by the sound of feet behind me. Soobin and I jump apart and he turns red before walking away. The last thing we need is a scandalous picture of us kissing being leaked. 

Taehyun is standing behind us with an eyebrow raised. I know he’s going to ask for every detail the moment we are behind closed doors. He walks quietly beside me.

Of course, I’m right and I’m bombarded with questions as soon as the door is locked behind us. 

“Did you kiss him?” Taehyun questions. 

“Where did you go?” Beomgyu asks looking between Taehyun and I like we didn’t tell him in the group chat.

“What did you eat?” Kai asks, followed by coming closer to look at Taehyun’s face. “Did you kiss her? There is lipstick on your face!!”

“A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.” Taehyun says walking over to the sofa where he folds his arms behind his head. “I ended up asking Tasia’s best friend, Bella, for advice and changed my whole plan. We went on a moonlight picnic near the water. I brought candles and flowers. She looked so beautiful in the dress she wore. We talked for hours and went for a walk. Maybe we kissed while the moonlight washed over her soft features, maybe we didn’t.”

He pulls out his phone and shows us pictures. He’s gushing about how amazing she is. Taehyun has met her once and he’s already head over heels in love.

“Anyway, enough about my date,” Taehyun says an hour later. “What did you do with Soobin?”

I tell them every detail down to Taehyun interrupting us downstairs. They are excited to know Soobin is every bit as romantic as we always thought he was. I show them pictures and they are even more surprised by the details. Soobin must’ve put a lot of thought into this and on such short notice too. It really makes me appreciate his effort. 

“You’re still wearing his hoodie.” Taehyun says petting the fabric. “I bet this is expensive.”

“I’ll give it back to him tomorrow. We are having a movie day at his place.”

“A second date already?” Beomgyu says running a hand through Kai’s hair while he rests on his lap.

They don’t need an explanation but they are my best friends so of course I’m going to give them one. Anyone in my position would do the same. Soon my soulmate will be on the other side of the world. We’ve just met so of course I want to spend every moment I can with him until he leaves. Soobin seems just as eager to spend time with me so I’m trying not to feel insecure or clingy. 

“He’s going on tour soon and I’m going to be busy training. I want to spend as much time with him as I can before he leaves.”

Taehyun looks sympathetic for my situation and I know he’ll help me see Soobin if I ask him. I won’t but I know he would help me if I asked. He’s so overwhelmed with his new found love I’m sure he hasn’t thought about what might happen when Tasia goes back to America. That’s a thought for another time. 

The rest of the night is chill spent watching videos and occasionally talking. Apparently, Taehyun knew they were soulmates but never felt the need to tell me. How could I have missed that? How did everyone except me know?

Soobin posts the pictures I took of him on twitter and solace are going absolutely nuts. A lot of theories on what he could be doing are circulating through the fandom. Most of them think he’s filming something because why else would he be dressed that nicely. I saw one or two people say maybe he’s on a date with his soulmate, but most people shot that idea down. Of course, they don’t want to acknowledge my existence and if that means I won’t receive hateful comments then I’m okay with that. 

I take a long shower to think through some things and practice a few songs. Soobin joins for a little while then stops. I don’t feel bad about singing because I know Soobin doesn’t have a schedule tomorrow. Meaning he can sleep as late as he wants. I wish he had more days like that, but that’s a fool’s dream when you are an idol. 

Soobin fills my dreams and I’m well rested when I wake in the morning at nearly 11. I feel happy and excited to spend the day with him. I’ve always preferred calm environments over stressful planned to the minute hangouts. The latter can be nice sometimes but hanging out and watching movies all day sounds wonderful.

Me: Good morning Binnie 

Soobin🥰: Goodmorning Junnie

Soobin🥰: Did you sleep well? I can be there in twenty minutes 

I tell him I slept well and he can come over whenever he’s ready. I get up and spend far too long trying to find something to wear. This is casual so I should wear something comfortable, but I still want to look cute. I decide on a pair of sweatpants that fit me a bit high waisted with a cropped hoodie. I’m taking an outfit picture when someone knocks on my door.

“Soobin’s here.” Kai says without opening the door and I make a worried sound. 

My hair is a mess and with no time to fix it I shove a beanie over it. I look in the mirror one last time before walking into the living room. Soobin is sitting on the couch talking to Taehyun. It sounds like he’s recounting his date again. Soobin seems to be genuinely interested. I let Taehyun finish his story before I call attention to myself.

“I’m ready.” 

Soobin smiles when he sees me and my stomach does the flippy over thing. I wonder how long it will be before I stop reacting like this everytime he smiles at me. I hope it never stops. 

“Have fun you two.” Beomgyu says from across the room. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“What does he mean-” 

I pull Soobin out of the apartment before my best friends can say anything to embarrass me. There are some things that I should tell Soobin myself and the things they might be implying is certainly something I should say first. I’m reminded of the dating history question from yesterday, but decide to save that for later. Soobin is dressed similarly to me. He’s opted for a full length hoodie instead of a cropped one though. His hair is a little messy but I think he looks cute like this. He isn’t wearing any makeup and he’s just as handsome. 

Our car ride is mostly quiet and we have to enter his building through the backdoor. Apparently, there are reporters out front waiting for their next Soobin headline. We are ot going to give them the pleasure.

We decide to order food as soon as we get inside. Soobin shows me to the living room and lets me pick what to watch first. The apartment is grand and has an empty feeling. There isn’t very much clutter in the rooms I can see. It looks like he has an extensive collection of games hidden away in the TV stand.

I sit on the sectional which has a few decorative pillows and pick up the remote. I’m not sure what type of movie to play so I pick something that I’ve already seen. I’m much more interested in talking to him than I am to actually watch something. 

Soobin reappears with a huge navy blue comforter in hand and sits beside me so close our hips are touching. He pulls the foot rest against the couch so we can put our feet up. Then he covers us with the blanket.

He starts the movie and we make a few comments here and there. When the main leads kiss for the first time I speak without thinking. 

“How was your first kiss?”

Soobin turns to me with an amused smile on his face. I wonder if he’s thinking about it right now. 

“Honestly, it wasn’t great. I was twelve and didn’t know what I was doing. Neither did she I guess. She was my girlfriend for maybe a week.” He wraps his arm around me pulling me towards his chest. I cuddle against his chest and I can hear his heart pounding. “What about you, Junnie?”

“I was sixteen when I had my first kiss. His name is Park Minhyuk and he's actually an idol now.” Soobin looks confused for a second like he’s heard that name somewhere. Of course, he has heard his name. He’s in the same industry as Soobin and there are videos of them together. He pulls away and I give him a confused look. Why is he having this reaction?

“Astro?!” Soobin says surprised and I nod my head. “I used to date him for like six months last year.”

“I WAS RIGHT?” I shout jumping up. I sit down and cover my face when I realize how embarrassing I’m being. “I wrote a multi page theory about you and Minhyuk. I spent hours analyzing clips. Everyone told me I was dumb.”

“You really were my biggest fan.” He pulls my hands away from my face and laughs. “I can’t believe we’ve both kissed him.”

This gives us the perfect segue to our dating history. We ignore the movie and Soobin tells me about his short dating history. He has dated two idols and one person in high school. Most of my relationships were mostly friends with benefits and I tell him that. It’s a little bit awkward but it’s easier to get this out of the way now. He tells me about that kind of history too and we are closer than ever by the time our chicken and boba arrives. 

We spend the day cuddled up watching movies with no interruptions. I’m surprised that no one has tried to call Soobin. I’m happy to be completely alone with him. No worries or expectations. 

He insists on taking pictures with me and I insist on taking pictures of him for his twitter. I know what his fans want to see. I show him the last one I took and he smiles.

“Boyfriend pictures. Solace love these. They make the best phone backgrounds.”

Soobin seems to love the idea of giving fans what they want (within reason). He posts the photos to twitter with the caption ‘Resting well 😴 have a good day solace.’ We watch twitter freak out together and he’s laughing. Soobin keeps scrolling through twitter on his secret account then suddenly he speaks. 

“Can I be your boyfriend?”

He drops his phone and takes my face in his hands. My heart is beating wildly. What fanfiction am I living in? This must be some wild self insert fantasy I’ve dreamed up. Choi Soobin just asked to be my boyfriend. His eyes are soft but somehow still serious.

“Yes!” I nod my head and he smiles before leaning into kiss me. He uses a little too much force sending us toppling backwards on the couch. Soobin is on top of me and I’m not complaining.

The next month of my life is spent in almost constant practice. It was easy for the four of us to pass the second audition. Soon after, we signed our trainee contracts then moved into our dorms. We share a dorm with two other people. 

Most nights I don’t come home until 10PM and I wake up at 6. Trainee life isn’t glamorous especially when I can’t see my boyfriend. He sends me messages every morning and we video chat a few times a week but it’s not the same. I miss him a lot. 

During October they choose one trainee who is allowed to attend the company Halloween party. This trainee has to place 1st in the monthly evaluations. Everyone wants it because they will get to be at the same party as all our seniors. Taehyun thinks someone from our group will get it. 

Some of these trainees have been here for years so I’m skeptical. We have only been here almost a month and a half. Of course I want to go but without Soobin there I’m not sure it would be as fun. He’s still going to be in America on Halloween so he wouldn’t be able to attend. 

Today is the monthly evaluation and by the time I leave tonight I’ll know who has the invitation. I’m stretching out next Kai when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. 

Boyfriend🥰: Good luck on your evaluation. I miss you 🥺

I smile widely and Kai looks over my shoulder. I quickly lock my phone before he draws anyone else’s attention. Some of the trainees already hate me because of my connection with Soobin. They think it gives me an unfair advantage and that the choreographers like me more for that reason. Like Soobin would be giving them advice about trainees when he’s on a world tour. 

I stand up and stretch out my legs while I text Soobin back. Afterwards I put my phone into my jacket lying on the floor. Our choreographer should be here soon. 

My evaluation goes well and I have hope that I could be number one this month. I got more compliments than anyone else. Compliments are hard to come by in this practice room. 

I have vocal lessons after evaluation and I really just wish I was asleep. Maybe I can get a nap in after this.

I don’t get to nap. Everytime I sit down someone pulls me to another place. By nine I want to scream but this time it’s one of the managers handing me an envelope. 

“Congratulations you ranked number 1 this month. You can go home.” 

Excitedly, I take the envelope bowing to him as he walks away. I tear open the envelope and see an invitation to the halloween party. I snap a picture of the paper and send it to Soobin.

He calls me and I pick up as I’m walking out of the building. I’m surprised he called me so fast. It’s early morning in America right now. He usually gets up early on show day. 

“Hey, Junnie!” Soobin says, sounding excited. I’m imagining his cute morning smile. “Congrats on ranking number one my legendary trainee.”

I roll my eyes but laugh. He always knows how to make me feel special. Soobin constantly boosts my ego even when I don’t deserve it. He’s always here when I need to talk even if some time it takes hours for him to reply. 

“Thank you. I miss you.” I pause wishing he was here right now. It’d be so nice to have him beside me at the Halloween party. “I wish you I could see you.”

“I’ll be back in a few weeks. Then I can give you all the kisses and cuddles.” 

My face heats up at his words and I think of the shirtless picture he sent me yesterday. We’ve gotten a little creative without exposing too much. 

“That’ll be nice.” I say walking into my building. “I saw some of your show on twitter yesterday. It was really good as always.”

“I tripped three times and forgot the lyrics to your favorite song.” He laughs but yesterday I’m sure he was crying. It makes me upset that I can’t always be there to comfort him. 

“You’re still a human, Soob. Focus on the good things.” I punch in the code to my dorm and step inside. No one's home yet. “Remember to eat breakfast and have a good day. I’m going to take a shower and plan my costume.”

“Okay. I’ll message you later. Bye boyfriend.”

I throw my phone onto my bunk after hanging up. I’m tempted to lie down but I really should shower first. I pick my phone up and head to the bathroom with my towel. I start the shower so it’ll warm up and turn to the mirror. After removing my shirt I take a picture. My pants are hanging low on my hips and the whole picture screams fuck boy. Soobin will love this. I send it to him then turn on music and hop in the shower. 

Soobin keyboard smashes in response to my photo. I had the same reaction yesterday but I didn’t send it in the chat. 

Boyfriend🥰: My soulmate is so hot. god must love me

Soobin is bolder over text messages. I like him either way but it’s nice seeing more and more confidence. We are helping each other be the best versions of ourselves possible. 

I decide to be Jessie from Team Rocket for the Halloween party even though Soobin can’t be my James. There is a prize for best costume and I’m going all out. Which is why I’m currently dying my hair magenta. I’ve been wanting to dye my hair but I just haven’t had a reason until now. 

“Wow, this looks really good.” Taehyun says from the seat next to me.

He’s getting a haircut while I’m getting it dyed. We got approval from the company just in case. Since we are trainees and don’t have to appear in content they don’t care what we do with our hair right now. 

After my hair is dyed I just need to find black gloves and my outfit is complete. I decided to keep it true to character and wear a skirt and crop top. I look really good in it. The thigh high boots also do wonders for my legs as they should they were expensive. 

Soobin keeps asking for hair updates even though he’s supposed to be filming right now. At least I think he is. He’s been really vague about where he is. He must be on a break but I refuse to show him until I can show him the whole costume. 

The party is tomorrow and I’m nervous about being around all my famous seniors. The only people I’ll personally know are the staff. They try to keep the trainees away from the debited artists. It lessens the chance of sasaengs getting information or interactions.

Hours later Taehyun and I find the gloves I need and we rush home. Beomgyu and Kai are shocked by my hair. I immediately change into my costume so I can show everyone how cool I look.

“Don’t you think it’s a little try hard?” Beomgyu asks as I turn around to look at the back in the mirror.

I’m a little hurt that he’d say that. I just want to wear a cool costume so people remember me. If I look hot as fuck too then that a plus. 

“Everyone already knows me as Soobin’s soulmate might as well make them remember me for me.” I say trying not snap at him. “Besides I look hot as fuck.”

Kai agrees with me which makes Beomgyu roll his eyes. I ignore the discourse and take my costume off. It hangs in my closet as I try to decide what to do with the rest of the day. 

I end up watching movies with the boys then going to sleep early. I still have practice tomorrow whether or not I’m the top ranked trainee of the month. I’m not sure if they will let me out early.

Halloween starts the same as most days. Texting Soobin. He refuses to send me photos and I’m not sure why. He posted on twitter not that long ago but it’s hard to tell where he is. I still haven’t sent him a photo of my hair. I’m going to wait for him to see me in the background of the fansite photos. 

Practice is grueling but they let us leave at 8PM. I’m so tired I almost don’t want to go to the Halloween party. After a quick show I take a half hour nap then start getting ready. 

Taehyun is helping me with my eye makeup. He’s surprisingly good with a brush. Once he’s satisfied we have a mini photo shoot in the courtyard behind our building. Then a taehyun gets himself ready for another date with his soulmate. 

The event starts at 9 and that’s when most of the artists will arrive and walk the carpet. I was told to walk the carpet near the beginning. I’m rushed to the venue wearing a long coat to cover my costume. 

The staff give me a funny look when I arrive and I just smile. There are a few artists here already but they are milling around near their cars. I begin to walk up the carpet and stop where there is a mark.

In one dramatic motion I pull off my long coat and pose. The cameras start clicking and for a moment I feel like a celebrity until I turn and see my soulmate. Soobin is wearing a James costume that matches mine perfectly.

“Binnie!” I hug him tightly before realizing we are in front of a lot of cameras. 

I step away shyly but Soobin puts his arm around my waist. We let them take a few pictures of us before we walk into the venue away from prying eyes. 

“Yeonjun, I missed you so much. I couldn’t let you be alone at your first Bighit Halloween party.” He’s dyed his hair blue again. “My team is already mad at me so might as well make the most of it.” 

He leans in and kisses me in front of his colleagues. Granted there aren’t many people here but I’m 100% sure Jeon Jungkook dressed as Sailor Moon just saw that. He shoved a mini hotdog in his mouth then looked away but I know he saw.

“I missed you too.”

Soobin leads me to the bar and orders us each a cocktail. I’ll probably only have one because the last thing I need is to get sloppy at my first company event. 

“Who do you want to meet first?” Soobin asks once more people have arrived. 

Quite a few of them have gone all out with their costumes. I don’t even recognize a few of my favorite artists when I first see them. 

“Park Jimin?” I ask trying to find him in the sea of costumes. 

I think Jimin and Taehyung are dressed as Danny and Sandy from Grease. Unfortunately, a lot of people are wearing skin tight black material. Well, just unfortunate for finding him. Soobin takes my hand and leads me through the crowd. He easily finds Jimin talking to Jungkook. 

I bow deeply and they look between Soobin and I. They smile at me as Soobin introduces me.

“This is my boyfriend Choi Yeonjun. He’s a trainee at our company.”

My heart races when the word boyfriend leaves his mouth. I know cameras aren’t allowed in here but it still makes me nervous. The press knows he’s my soulmate but we aren’t trying to flaunt it and cause any more bad press. 

“Your costume looks stunning! You must’ve worked so hard for those abs.” Jimin says and suddenly I feel shy that this world renowned musician is looking at my abs. 

“Constant practicing and diets does that too you.” I try to laugh but it sounds forced. 

Jungkook changes the topic asking me about my inspiration to join the company. For a while I stand there with Soobin’s arm wrapped around my waist talking to people I’ve idolized for years. 

I feel true happiness all night. We dance and sing too loud with celebrities that now just feel like normal people. Everyone is so nice to me I’m genuinely shocked. 

“The winner of best couples costume Choi Soobin and Yeonjun.” Jackson Wang, the mc of this event says hours later.

Soobin drags me onto the stage and we accept our Samsung earphones. Obviously, they would give away sponsored items as prizes. That’s so smart of them. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” Soobin whispers in my ear not even ten minutes later. 

I nod my head and we look for my coat. I’ve already talked to everyone I wanted to talk to. I’d much rather spend time alone with Soobin then continue dancing with drunk idols.

Soobin is a little clumsy after having a few soju bombs. I’m helping him balance as we walk towards the exit. A staff member hands us masks and I quickly hand it to Soobin. 

We make it to his car without injury and someone drives us to Soobin’s apartment. Soobin is extra cuddly in the car and I won‘t lie, I love it. 

“Do you want to come upstairs for some ramen?” Soobin says when we are standing at the door of his apartment building. 

I laugh at him and he pouts. How can one man possibly be this attractive? Soobin walks into the building and I follow closely behind. 

As soon as he’s inside his apartment he starts taking his clothes off. I close the door and try to stop him but he’s already on his way to the bedroom.

“Soobin let’s keep our clothes on.” I say rushing to take off my thigh high boots.

“I’m going to change into something more comfortable, you don’t have to look if you don’t want to.” He shouts back at me. 

Of course I want to look, but it feels wrong when he’s intoxicated. I follow him into his room anyways and he has sweatpants on when I arrive.

His room is filled with much more personal items then the rest of his house. I see pictures of family and friends. Keepsakes and just an aura of warmth. 

Seeing his chest and stomach in person does make my stomach fill with butterflies. He walks forward and takes my hand slowly taking my gloves off and throwing them on the ground. I turn away deciding to do the rest myself before something happens. 

I rummage through his dresser looking for sweats and quickly find a pair. Getting out of my costume is more difficult when I know Soobin is watching me. Once I’m in pajamas I climb into bed and get under the covers. I lift the blanket inviting Soobin to cuddle me. 

He eagerly climbs under the blanket and lays his head on my chest. His skin is warm and I’m painstakingly aware of his hand tracing the outline of my abs. 

I turn on a movie so he’ll fall asleep but he has other plans. Thirty minutes into the movie he turns it off and looks into my eyes. Panic arises in every cell of my body.

He kisses me with our bodies pressed together but then looks away and smiles.

“I love you, Yeonjun.” he says so casually you’d think he’d said it to me a million times. 

In fact this was the first time and every part of me is screaming. CHOI SOOBIN JUST SAID HE LOVES YOU. Of course, I knew this might happen eventually. He is my soulmate after all. I didn’t think it would happen so soon and I definitely didn’t think he’d say it for the first time while drunk. 

“I love you too, Soobin.”

His eyes are as soft as the skin of his shoulder. Nothing in his eyes would make anyone doubt that he meant what he said. 

Nothing else remarkable happens that night. Soobin goes back on his tour and I go back to giving my all at every moment I’m in the Big Hit Entertainment building. 

One day in early March Soobin insists the boys and I come to his apartment immediately. We’ve all hung out at Soobin’s. Sometimes we go there to get away from our tiny dorm. Soobin likes us taking care of his place while he’s away. What is out of the ordinary is his urgency.

“I’m so glad you are here. I missed you, but we need to talk...all of us.” Soobin says as soon as we walk into his apartment.

We follow him into the living room and he won’t even sit down. I can't tell if he’s nervous or scared or excited.

“What’s going on?” Kai asks, sitting beside me.

“So, last night when I landed I was immediately called to a meeting. Usually, they let me rest for a full day so I was really surprised. When I arrived the CEO was sitting there with one of my managers.”

“Really?!” I say not being able to hold in my shock. I look at the other boys and they have a similar expression.

Our CEO is friendly with the artists but rarely attends meetings. He leaves that to the staff unless absolutely necessary. Unless, it’s BTS but that’s another story. 

“Yes, so they sat me down and started gushing about how well I’ve done so far on my tour and how they are so proud.”

“Why do I sense a but?” Taehyun asks resting his head in his hands. 

Soobin looks like he’s about to bounce off a wall. He doesn’t look upset so hopefully this is good news. Over the last few months I’ve come to know his expressions and emotions even deeper than before. 

“Because there is a but. After gushing about me for ten minutes they tell me they want me to debut again!” He pauses for dramatic effect and we gasp. Why would they want that? He’s at the top of his game. Wouldn’t making him start over just hinder him and make whatever group he is a part of?“Isn’t that great?”

“I don’t see how that would be great.” Beomgyu says slowly. 

“Maybe I should’ve prefaced with this but if you tell anyone about this we will all get fired. I’m telling you as my closest personal friends. That means you can’t tell Tasia, Tyun.” Soobin says still not telling us why it’s so great. “It’s great because he wants me to debut with you.”

He sweeps his hand through the air pointing at each of us. We gasp again and jump to our feet looking at each other in disbelief.

“Soobin don’t joke like that.” I say not processing well.

The CEO wants Soobin, his best solo artist, to debut in a group of rookies? Is he insane? As much as I want to be in a group with my soulmate it can’t be a good idea. I can already hear the antis yelling that we are only popular because of Soobin.

“Jun, I would never get your hopes up like that. I know you might be worried but I’m all in. I want to debut again. I think we could make something really special.” 

He told us three more times before we believed him. But eventually we believed him and started a real celebration. Of course, we have to act like we don’t know everywhere else but here we can share the excitement. 

Soobin is home for the month but with training I hardly get to see him. Unless I sneak away to spend the night with him. 

The boys and I patiently wait for someone to approach us about our debut. It’s a week after Soobin told us when I’m called into the trainee manager's office. 

“Yeonjun, we are really impressed with your work so far. We would like to give you two options.”

My heart is pounding and I feel like I might start sweating if I have to sit here for another second. What options does he have for me? All I want is to debut with my best friends.

“What are the options?” I manage to say and he smiles like he knows how nervous I am.

“You can debut as a solo artist in August or you can debut with a group in March of next year.” He says studying my face like it might hold some great truth to the universe. 

“Who would be debuting beside me?” He gives me a questioning look so I explain. “I want to know if I have chemistry with these trainees and how good they are compared to me.”

“Choi Beomgyu, Kang Taehyun and Huening Kai.”

I use my best acting skills to light up my eyes with excitement. It’s not that hard when I’m genuinely excited. Hearing it from a staff member is entirely different than hearing it from Soobin. 

“I don’t need time to think about it. I want to debut with that group.”

The manager seems surprised I’ve made a decision so quickly. It’s a no brainer. Those are my best friends and I’ll do anything to debut with them. We will be something special. He talks for a little while longer but none of it is as important as debuting. 

In April we finally have a meeting with the four of us. They still haven’t told us about Soobin. He thinks it’s because they want him to finish his tour first. I think they want him to be a secret weapon.

Soobin’s voice plays in my mind as I walk down the hall to the practice room glad to be inside and out of the August heat. He’s somewhere in the building. Recently, he finished his tour and he’s already practicing. It’s the middle of the day so I suppose he must be busy. 

“Yeonjun! My love!” Soobin says, popping his head out of the practice room. He walks closer and whispers in my ear. “They are going to tell you I’m debuting again today.”

Usually, Soobin wouldn’t be down here in the trainee practice room. They like to keep us separated as much as possible. He must’ve gotten a few weird looks making his way down here. 

“Really?” I match his volume not wanting anyone to accidentally overhear us. 

“Yes your manager texted me this morning.” He pats my shoulder and we enter the practice room. 

The practice room is uncharacteristically empty. Even when we don’t have official practice trainees tend to hang out here. Maybe Soobin scared them away.

“He told me to come to your rehearsal today.” Soobin says sitting on the floor so he can stretch out. “They are going to announce us in January and we’ll debut in March.”

Soobin insists that he can’t be left in the dark. The company loves him so much they give him the information he wants.

It’s comical watching the boys pretend to be surprised that Soobin is joining our team. The company must know Soobin told us, but no one says a word.

We spend the rest of the year working ourselves to the bone. Between dance, vocal and media training practice I have no energy when I get back to our dorm. Not to mention the photo shoots, album recordings and music video shooting.

We move to a new dorm and Soobin joins us while keeping his old place. He says he doesn’t mind but I think he misses having more room. We share a bed most nights and since so do Beomgyu and Kai Taehyun is the only one that complains. None of us ever do anything inappropriate while anyone else is in the room. I don’t know why he complains.

Before I know it we are backstage about to debut. I can hear people in the crowd and my heart is thumping in my chest. Soobin gathers everyone in a circle and we put our arms around each other.

“We are almost there. Let's make our family, fans and company proud. You are all so talented and are going to give the most incredible performance.”

Soobin squeezes my shoulder as the boys break apart getting into a line to walk to the stage. When we are about to be lifted up Soobin pulls me close and kisses me.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

We are lifted onto the stage and I see moas face for the first time. All of this is thanks to Soobin’s voice in my mind. What a lucky man I am.

[groovytaytay]

Death is by far the worst thing anyone has to go through the constant day to day thought of that person never coming back,not knowing rlly where they are. I've been praying moonbin is with our father God in heaven,and that he's at peace finally,that's the good part of this, is he's no longer in this sh!tty world, he's now somewhere where he can be at complete serenity, us a aroha have to heal through this together, because he wouldnt want us sad,he would want us to smile and see what he accomplished, im praying we will see him again, see that smile, hear that soft voice i adore so d@mn much, idk if he had faith in god, but i sure hope god has mercy because of the kind person he was, he made us all smile, and always told us to be good people. I still remember summer of 2018 when I first watched a video of astro and it was the 'What Does a Fox Say' video.

I immediately knew I had to stan,and the first member that caught my eye was him,i was so young and deeply loved them, then i fell deep into 4th gen and didnt pay em any mind and i regret it,in February i came back to em for a bit and fell off again but always loved them the most, expecially binnie, and then in march i decided to focus on my mental health and leave my phone and just watch netflix all summer, it wasnt until just 5 days ago i wanted to see what was up in the kpop world and the first article i saw was abt binnie, my heart sank,i immediately started breaking down screaming no it wasnt real, the one that birthed my heart deep into kpop, the one i had jus been watching back in February not knowing he would leave us in a month priar. And now I wish I would've spent more time with them,cause now he's gone and it's too late for me,Idk if kpop will be the same for me, I can't sleep at night not knowing if he's at peace, but thank you sm Binnie, for being the most amazing soul ever, and always making us laugh, until we meet again handsome, I love you Binnie❤️❤️❤️🕊️🕊️

[baekhvuns]

Whatever makes the royals uncomfortable is good imo 😉 back in the day I watched and read things about people who worked with them and I just couldn't believe (I mean I could, but still, wtf?!)

Winter is romanticised in general and I'm sick of it. Unless you live in Hallstatt or other places in the Alps don't give me that OMFG WINTER IS SO COOL. - I'm a hater, yes. Sure I love waking up to pure darkness and going home in total darkness as well (AT 4PM), love freezing at the bus stop or scrubbing my cars' windows early in the morning </3 be serious people. Something in the NYC air... yeah pollution kwhhsjdhsjshsha, if I were to move anywhere in the US I would choose NYC or SF.

I cannot remember the Shinee dream, all I know they were at my grandma's house and I was in pyjamas and Teamin didn't want to speak to me, while Key was cooking

I know you can vote and stream normally and if someone wants to do that then fine, but some people are fucking crazy and dramatic and make the experience so bothersome for everyone. Obviously not every user here reads and writes ff, but Twitter is full of sexual things as well, everytime I stumble upon NSFW kpop stan Twitter I wanna die 🤡

You can take my furries, good luck with them!

The smudged lipstick they know what they did and I'm thankful 😳 I might die, but it's fine. And the highlighter too, man is gloooooowing. I remember Atlantis yes! But I need a siren Hwa fic so so baaaad

Not an AU based on my dream 😭 I NEED IT

I actually told Yeo I would like to tattoo a Hehetmon, I feel like I need to do both, the OG and the Hwa one 😅

Baek illiteracy era <3 as long as you can write it's fine! I know, but I was so happy the sad ending wasn't the end game in Clannad it made me appreciate it more actually! Though some people were disappointed and preferred the tragic ending...🔫🔫🔫🔫 but you're right the angst was too much. Who would've fucking guessed 😢 I'm sorry Yunho stans 💔

Yes Teezers sang at someone's wedding! Reminds me of the recent Taemin wedding spotting, but the fact he was in a turtleneck?!

Models

Welcome user Seonghvws shshdhshsjsnshss

Our boy Seojun spent too much time mopping over Jugyeong, I don't know if he has anyone atm. He's busy being successful! Also her and Suho are so boring, seriously, every time I see Suho I wanna slap him 😭

No one in TXT went to the same event, Soobin was serving vampire though

I only know about that drama because of Jongho's OST. Oh the plot seems interesting and sad... I'll get to it one day ahahhaa

I did scream for the DC girls, yessss also some people were barking...

STOP THAT'S MODEL HWA I NEED HIS SUIT TAKE IT OFF MATE 🔫

Shinee's plagiarism is the only plagiarism I respect and adore 🥰

Boa comeback, Kara comeback soon too MISS NICOLEEEE

Did you take the Skz quiz? I got Seunglix lol, I don't think I'm cute like them 😭 - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Whatever makes the royals uncomfortable is good imo 😉 back in the day I watched and read things about people who worked with them and I just couldn't believe (I mean I could, but still, wtf?!)

LMFAOOOO UR RIGHT charles was right for once, the monarchy is so out of touch 😭😭 OH PLS DO ME A FAVOUR AND SPILL 🤲🏼🤲🏼 my late night quora and reddit adventures on the royal family always has me giggling gbendb

Winter is romanticised in general and I'm sick of it. Unless you live in Hallstatt or other places in the Alps don't give me that OMFG WINTER IS SO COOL. - I'm a hater, yes. Sure I love waking up to pure darkness and going home in total darkness as well (AT 4PM), love freezing at the bus stop or scrubbing my cars' windows early in the morning </3 be serious people. Something in the NYC air... yeah pollution kwhhsjdhsjshsha, if I were to move anywhere in the US I would choose NYC or SF.

I cannot remember the Shinee dream, all I know they were at my grandma's house and I was in pyjamas and Teamin didn't want to speak to me, while Key was cooking

omg ur so right 😭😭 fall >>>> winter,,, the snow??? the slush it makes, the amount of times u slip but the only good thing is when it’s a snowstorm and everything’s closed 😮‍💨IM A HATER RHWKDHWK STOPPP I HAVE BEEN FREEZING !!!! FREEZING AT BUS STOPS AND WE’VE HAD ABOUT 5 SNOWFALLS STARTING MF OCTOBER 😭😭😭 my uni’s in the mountains so it’s either fog or just f r e e z i n g wind,,, LMFAOOOO POLLUTION BFNWBD UR RIGHT UR RIGHT 😭😭😭 TAEMIN WHY DIDNT HE WANNA SPEAK DID U ASK 😭😭 THIS IS SO FUNNY IM INVESTED

I know you can vote and stream normally and if someone wants to do that then fine, but some people are fucking crazy and dramatic and make the experience so bothersome for everyone. Obviously not every user here reads and writes ff, but Twitter is full of sexual things as well, everytime I stumble upon NSFW kpop stan Twitter I wanna die 🤡

atp people are way over the line of over doing things,,, before 2017, this speaks facts (also the way ppl are attacking the op is vile) nothing was about streaming and voting it was more important to enjoy the music and get the concert experience and now??? it’s so embarrassing,,, sTOPPP TWITTER IS WORSE WITH NSFW BC SOMETHING BE TRENDING, SOMETHING SO INNOCENT AND THEN I CLICK IT AND BOOM COCKS EVERYWHERE 😭😭😭 thankfully ihave not stumbled upon nsfw kpop stan side i’d probably deactivate

You can take my furries, good luck with them! /// The smudged lipstick they know what they did and I'm thankful 😳 I might die, but it's fine. And the highlighter too, man is gloooooowing. I remember Atlantis yes! But I need a siren Hwa fic so so baaaad

IM ON MY WAY,,, whoever styled them, i need them to get a raise bc wow,, it’s so simple yet so iconic 😮‍💨😮‍💨 THE STYLIST BETTER PUT THIS SHOOT ON THEIR RESUME,,, MAN IS GLOWING UR RIGHT !!!! THE STYLING THE MAKEUP THE MELANIN 🤌🏼 siren hwa u got it bestie, but do u rmr the siren jk fic 👁👁 it was absolutely amazing show stopping mind blowing fantastic

Not an AU based on my dream 😭 I NEED IT /// I actually told Yeo I would like to tattoo a Hehetmon, I feel like I need to do both, the OG and the Hwa one 😅

I GOT U BC IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT OFTEN ITS A NICE SLICE OF LIFE ,, PLS DO OMG THAT BE SO CUTE 😭😭 do that deranged yunho one too

Baek illiteracy era <3 as long as you can write it's fine! I know, but I was so happy the sad ending wasn't the end game in Clannad it made me appreciate it more actually! Though some people were disappointed and preferred the tragic ending...🔫🔫🔫🔫 but you're right the angst was too much. Who would've fucking guessed 😢 I'm sorry Yunho stans 💔

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 IN MY FLOP ERA <333 I think tbh im glad it ended bc the emotional damage it cost me, like even if the ending was nice the emotional damage has already been done I WASNT EVEN EXCITED ANYMORE I WAS SO PISSED FBHKWDHSK CLANNAD TRIGGERS ME !!!!!

Yes Teezers sang at someone's wedding! Reminds me of the recent Taemin wedding spotting, but the fact he was in a turtleneck?!

PLS THE CAMERA MAN FILMING THEM U KNOW THEY’RE GONNA BE IN THE WEDDING HIGHLIGHTS HAVING A SLOMO MOMENT OF THEMSELVES,,, taemin at a wedding 😔 when is TAEMIN AT HIS MANAGERS WEDDING IM WAITINGGG ITS BEEN TOO LONG FBFB

Models /// Welcome user Seonghvws shshdhshsjsnshss

stop it. mingi model au u say.

Our boy Seojun spent too much time mopping over Jugyeong, I don't know if he has anyone atm. He's busy being successful! Also her and Suho are so boring, seriously, every time I see Suho I wanna slap him 😭

IM SO GLAD BC HE DESERVES IT IDC IF SHE ENDS UP SUHO BUT IF SUHO AND HER BREAK UP AND SHE SKRTS TO SEOJUN ITS ON SIGHT 🔫🔫🔫 LMFAOOOO IVE NEVER SEEN A PAIRING BE THIS BAD SINCE BRIDE OF HABAEK 😭😭

No one in TXT went to the same event, Soobin was serving vampire though

YOURE RIGHT EVDJD this twt summarized it perfectly

I only know about that drama because of Jongho's OST. Oh the plot seems interesting and sad... I'll get to it one day ahahhaa

it really is! and jinyoung’s in it as well!!

I did scream for the DC girls, yessss also some people were barking...

LMFAOOOO AS THEY SHOULD !!!!! THROW A BARK FROM ME TOO AT DAMI

STOP THAT'S MODEL HWA I NEED HIS SUIT TAKE IT OFF MATE 🔫

FBWKDHWKDKK HE IS COMING TO LIFE AND IM SCREAMING BC I REREAD MODEL HWA LAST NIGHT AND FHWKFHQKFHWK everytime i see a picture of his hands it reminds me how yOUVE HELD THEM 🔫🔫🔫

Shinee's plagiarism is the only plagiarism I respect and adore 🥰

no but the solo debut teaser looks so good omg i hope he has some taemin influence on him

Boa comeback, Kara comeback soon too MISS NICOLEEEE

boa’s cb sounded like an avril lavigne song fbfb HELLO MISS MAIN DANCER DROP IT DOWWWNN STOP THEIR STAGE IS GONNA BE SO INSANE

Did you take the Skz quiz? I got Seunglix lol, I don't think I'm cute like them 😭 - DV 💖

I DID AND I GOT HYUNCHAN

, i found a new quiz! felt very called out <3

uh anon

😭😭???

pls read this first and then this…

ALSO SAUDI WINNING OVER ARGENTINA???? LMFAOOOO????

ANON

bestie is this not mr and mrs park au

so i started watching the vampire diaries, why is damon a bitch, but a really hot one 🤨

IF I REMEMBER U WERE A CAPRISUN WHAT IS THIS MISS CAPRISUN

did not sign up for this

[whale-minmin]

ATEEZ reaction when their foreigner s/o moves to Korea but is having a hard time adjusting

ATEEZ reaction to S/O moving to Korea and having a hard time

Genre : fluff

Hongjoong :

· He'll always be ready to help you

· “I'll help you with anything! Just tell me”

· He'll be so supportive, helping you learn the language and teaching you about the culture

· “It's okay, don't rush yourself!”

Seonghwa :

· He'll get a bit worried

· “Call me whenever you want, i can help you”

· He'll always check up on you to see how are you doing

· “Take your time, there's no point in rushing it too much”

Yunho :

· He'll get a bit anxious

· What if you'll decide to go back to your country?

· After you reassure him, he'll do everything he can to help you

· “Korean people are really nice! You can always ask for help!”

Yeosang :

· He will be so helpful and supportive

· “It's okay! Take all the time you need”

· He'll even give you a small tour around so you could feel better

· “It won't get better if you rush it, take it slow”

San :

· He'll research some information on what can you do to feel more at home

· “It'll get better! And remember, i'm always here for you”

· He'll see how you're doing everyday and if it's better

Mingi :

· He'll help you slowly settle in comfortably

· “It's okay! It must be really hard adjusting”

· He'll be by your side 24/7 to help you with anything

· Really happy after seeing you're feeling better

Wooyoung :

· “Do you know what's the best part of Korea? Food. You should start from that”

· He'll become your tutor in Korean language so you can learn to speak it more freely

· “Take your time, baby. Your Woo is always here~”

Jongho :

· He'll be ready to help you with everything, every part of the day

· You have any questions? You don't know how to do something? Go to him

· The most supportive boy ever

· “It's alright, Y/N~”

≈≈≈≈≈ a/n ≈≈≈≈≈

Thank you for requesting! I hope you like it! ♡

≈≈≈≈≈

None of the gifs are mine!

[werewolf-witchboy]

Tokoyami Fumikage X Male Reader

Being A Witch Boy And Dating Tokoyami

WARNINGS: none uwu

Being a witch has nothing to do with your quirk, you just like practicing the dark arts and witchy things.

I'm not going to mention what your quirk is, so you can imagine that you have whatever quirk you want, or you can imagine yourself as someone without a quirk.

💀 Tokoyami had been fascinated with your hobby of witchcraft ever since he met you. He was most fascinated with the fact that your actual quirk has nothing to do with how your witchcraft works.

🕯 He had already thought you were cute before, and he had been in that time of his life where he was starting to question his sexuality a little- but after you showed him your witchy interests, he fell hard for you.

💀 He may be a dark and edgy birb boi, but he's also quite shy and awkward. He probably would have never confronted you about his crush if you hadn't told him your feelings for him first.

🕯 When y'all started dating, literally everyone was like "FINALLY!!" cuz it was super obvious that the two of you were meant for each other.

💀 When it comes to what type of witch you are, i'd say you're a witch of all traits.

-You love dark and spooky things, but you also love pastel colors and nature.

-Your room in the class 1A dorm is most likely full of plants, candels, a variety of antiques and trinkets, and shit that you can't buy at stores until it's around Halloween time.

🕯 Tokoyami likes to ask many questions about all of the different types of things you do, and he actually pays attention and is super interested. You'll even teach him some new things, and show him how to do them himself.

💀 You love Dark Shadow as much as you love Tokoyami himself. Though they're both very different in personality, you find them both charming and adorable (despite them both saying they're not "adorable," they're dark and spoopy lmao).

🕯 He also loves your animal familiar.

-Your familiar rarely comes out of your bedroom. Since you're dating Tokoyami, you allow him in your room (which means a lot more than he probably thinks it does, cuz spaces where witches do their magic and recharging are very sacred to them) so he gets to see your familiar quite often.

💀 It's rare for familiars to show affection to anyone that isn't their bonded witch, but your familiar absolutely loves Tokoyami.

-They'll hop onto his lap immediately as soon as he sits down in your room.

🕯 Both you and Tokoyami thrive in the darkness, so there are often times where you both hang around in your dimly lit room cuddled up together just talking all day (or even sometimes laying there in comfortable silence).

-You'll be in there together for so long that all of your friends will start questioning where you're both at, and not even realize that you're just in your room.

💀 He obviously likes you a whole lot, but he's super bad at saying it with words. He's just shy and bashful. BUT THEN DARK SHADOW EXPOSES HIM LMAO-

-You'll be standing there looking super cute, and Tokoyami will just stare at you and want to say something so badly. Then Dark Shadow appears and is all like "wOw yOu'Re sUpEr hOt" and Tokoyami just dies right there in the very spot he's standing cuz he can't believe that just happened.

🕯 That's another thing- Tokoyami stares at you a LOT. He even did it before y'all started dating, but now he doesn't even try to hide it.

-You barely noticed at first, but once you started noticing how often you catch him staring at you, you can't help but tease him a little.

-You'll stare at him back, directly in the eyes, and he'll get super flustered and embarrassed.

-Then to calm him down and make him feel less embarrassed, you'll giggle at his flustered-ness and give him a lil beak kiss...which just makes him even more flustered.

💀 He's definitely the type who wants to be a total romantic, and speak all poem-like to you, and shower you with praises, ect. BUT he gets so flustered when it comes to affection, and second-guesses himself when it comes to his ideas of showing affection.

-He's scared of coming off too strong, or seeming to clingy, or even not doing enough, so he never really gets the chance to act out any of how he wants to show affection- and to top it all off he can't help but be absolutely smitten every time you give him affection of any sort, and he'll not know how to react to it.

🕯 You never call him out on his shyness or how he reacts to your affection, you're not offended with any way he reacts to you. You think it's super cute how innocent he seems when it comes to all of this, and of course you encourage any time he gets a little bit of confidence to hold your hand or compliment you (without the help of Dark Shadow lol).

💀 His feathers get all ruffled when he's flustered, and OMFG it's too cute. 🥺😭

🕯 Something that he loves so much is when you borrow his clothes. Because for him, it's kind of a way to show affection towards you without being super direct about it.

-So him being like "you're cold? here, wear my sweatshirt" translates to "TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME, KEEP IT FOREVER, I LOVE YOU FJSKDJFHR-"

💀 Don't come @ me- Tokoyami listens to death metal, but he'd totally vibe with something like kpop if you introduced him to it.

-He's definitely a Loona stan.

🕯 Highkey though, now that I think of it- he probably also listens to Joji and Billie Eilish.

-Like, really moody sad boi hours indie music.

-He'd have Will He playing in his headphones, and he'd be all edgy and in his feelings, but he'd also be doing something like baking cookies at the same time lmfao.

-He'd have a playlist named "songs to cry to," but he'd be listening to it while knitting sweaters for puppies or something.

💀 No, you didn't ask me what kind of music that I think Tokoyami listens to, but you got it anyway. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

🕯 If he's at a store, and sees something kinda spooky looking that makes him think of you, he'd quickly get it and think all day of giving it to you, and he'd want to watch you add it to your collection of lil trinkets and antiques.

-....But he'd chicken out so hard I stg.

-This poor baby would rehearse how he'd give it to you in his head over and over again, and then when the time comes to give it to you, he'd get suddenly so tongue-tied and worried if you'd actually like it or not.

-But, of course, you love whatever he gets you every time. Your always super surprised when he gets you something, cuz it's not your birthday or any special day, and you never expect gifts from people.

-Every time you accept a gift from him, you always want to squeal, tackle him, and shower him with kisses- but you resist doing so with all of your being, cuz you know he'd malfunction.

-Instead you very profoundly thank him many times, and give him one especially loving kiss.

-Seeing your extra surprised and happy reaction always relieves him so much, and it makes him want to do it all over again and gift you a whole shop full of trinkets. His lack of hundreds of dollars is the only thing that stops him.

💀 You're the type of person who wears a lot of black, and scatters bright colors here and there within your look. Your style ranges from goth to pastel e-boy.

🕯 You don't like to change other people's styles or tell other people what to wear, but every once in a while, Tokoyami expresses an interest in dressing like you- which you go NUTS over.

-You'll let him borrow your pastel sweaters, and he'll let you put bright colored hairclips in his feathers.

-He now even owns some pastel colored clothing of his own, that you either gifted him or he secretly bought himself at some point.

💀 He used to be shy about changing up his style every once in a while at first. Whenever you'd take pictures of him wearing bright clothes, he'd softly ask you not to show them to any of the others.

-Eventually he became confident enough to go out in public those rare days he'd wear bright colors, and everyone is always super supportive of the different style.

🕯 He had never been in a relationship with another guy before he started dating you.

-He started questioning his sexuality around the time he started high school, but it was never a priority at first because he was more focused on working hard to get into U.A. and thinking about his future being a hero.

-aNd tHeN hE mEt yOu, and now we're here lol.

-ANYWAYS, y'all go to pride parades together.

-Something he isn't shy about is his sexuality, cuz as soon as he realized how he felt about you, he was all in and that was that.

-Y'all go all out for parades with face and body paint, and shirts with your flags on them, and even sometimes bringing signs and flags to hold up and wave around.

-Some of your friends will come with the two of you, whether they're there because they're also lgbtq+ or just because they support it.

-It's the most social the two of you are the entire year, cuz your both introverted lil emos that don't really talk to many people outside of class 1A.

💀 So yeah- I think Tokoyami is highly underrated and I'm extremely soft for him. He's an emo birb boi, what is not to love.

-I believe in emo birb boi supremacy.

-Rise all Tokoyami stans, we shall take over the entire anime world someday.

[kkoongiee]

txt reactions — first christmas with your family ‹𝟹

prompt, Can I request TxT Doing Christmas with their s/o family this year who live in the states. I can just imagine how nervous that plane ride would be 🤭

notes, gender-neutral!reader, merp beomgyu has been bias wrecking me all week,, sooo yes i just based his off wat my family would do LOLOLOLOL hope u like this,, i feel like i kinda strayed away from the prompt so um

yeonjun would definitely be nervous yeah 😭 he wants to leave a good impression on your parents + he knows they have seen videos of him from time to time, which he doesn’t believe you when you say they think he’s nice. jun is worrying over his outfit, his expressions, and the way he talks. you have to reassure him, even when you’re at the doorstep of your childhood home, he’s nervous to talk or even look at them. it’s alright though because your parents are super nice!! they have early gifts for him 😭 they also did their research so they could cook for him, yeonjun is so surprised that they did all this and were trying to impress HIM 🥺 ur just like, ‘i told u so..’ and he gives u a little swat on the arm before talking some more to your parents. jun is so excited to open presents with your distant family and talk to them now, ur family is so nice 😭😭 they love him and go on and on about how handsome he is!!!! he feels LOVED and wow u have so many little cousins, he just is not used to SO MANY people in the house 🧍 yeonjun loves them all, literally he’s received a good fifteen hugs that night

tbf all of them are nervous, but soobin is the MOST. he’ll have his leg bouncing next to you, his hand all clammy and he’s worried about when you two will be there in the next few hours. bin is so scared when he sets down the presents, americans are competitive with gifts and its kinda scary when your family describes their time spent on getting the perfect present 🧍 soobin needs a push to start talking, but he will quickly warm up to them 🥺 all ur parents want is some mf love from him because they LOVE him???? not your parents being txt stans 😭 bye they both stan soobin after finding out that he was a kpop idol, they will send you pictures with their albums and photocards 🧍 yeah they love him & he rly doesn’t need to worry about it!!! they talk to him and set down their rules ofc, but then all they wanna talk about is him 😭 soobin is their ultimate favorite,, they might even just love him more than u

beomgyu idk why but i keep picturing him with a hispanic 🧍 like he’s nervous but so excited to meet them cause ur always talking ab how nice and fun they r to be around!! gyu can hardly contain it when he comes into the house n sees all ur family already there 🥺 he’s like wow .. they r all here and im just getting to the party 😭 beomgyu is so HAPPY!!! he forgets all about that nervousness as soon as your mom wraps her arms around him, bring on the hugs and the cheek pinches,, gyu is the tiniest cutest little thing and all of ur family just wanna cherish him 😡😡 ofc, they gotta lay down their rules too but they knew he passed the test as soon as he walked in. does anyone else family call like mijo and mija to random people, mine does 😭 beomgyu feels special af because he’s being called mijo so he’s happy. beomgyu sad af when he has to go off to bed with u, but wow he never wants to leave here and he doesnt want ur family to leave!! yeah but ur family feeds him & makes sure their newest addition to the family is well taken care of 🥺

taehyun walks in and ur house is very dainty, modern styled and simple. he has this very exciting family and ur house is so .. quiet compared to ur personality. but then ur mom and dad come down, four mini you’s coming down and two older you’s coming as well, now filling the air with screams and laughs. like WOW ur family is big 😳 taehyun is so happy because they r all so cute and so small, they r crawling all over him and he is ELATED he’s never had so many small children in one room there!!! they r all showing him their toys n stuff they got before christmas day tomorrow, taehyun succumbing to the cuteness and taking a seat on the floor to play with them. cue ur younger siblings crying because taehyun has to go,, hes so SAD 🥺 but he definitely wants to visit again bc he now adores ur family and ur siblings love him too!!!

huening kai probably is trembling at the thought of ur family not liking him 🧍 he deadass thinks dear god help me, i am not prepared for this and when u ring the doorbell and he sees the small family u have, he’s like whew, less to impress. hyuka is still scared to sit down or take off his jacket like they tell him to, he rly does not get it 😭 he’s never been here and the way they talk and their ways in the house are not the same .. he’s so confused poor thing. he finds his way when your mom invites him in the kitchen, getting along well. she is probably blabbing on about her child and how these little things happened when u were younger, huening kai gaining bits of knowledge on how it works over there in the states 🧍 he is super excited to open presents tho, mostly cuz u told him ur parents and family were trying to impress him so this year was a battle for his heart 😭😭 KAI LOVES THEM

[ackermansupremacy]

More marley kids headcanons because i’m still distraught

The sheer amount of content that i could write for them is a s t r o n o m i c a l

Gabi

•An animal lover!

•Has a really big intimidating dog like a rottweiler or mastiff that her friends are lowkey scared of

•But it has some headass name like ‘Fluffy’ or ‘Princess’

•Or something oddly human like Joe or Robert LMAO

•She drinks a lot of energy drinks so shes up until like 3am blasting music

•I saw another post saying that they could see her being a kpop stan and i SEE IT

•She would be a boygroup stan and would stan NCT

•She would really like Gorillaz too Rhinestone eyes would be her JAM

•When shes not playing roblox shes plays things like overwatch and league of legends until the sun rises

•Yet somehow shes still full of energy the next morning??

•Her deepest secret is that she has a wattpad account and randomly publishes stories and never updates them

•She also reads like,,,1D fanfic and would never admit it

•Her walls are covered in doodles in the spaces between her miscellaneous band posters

•Shes the kind of angsty kid that acts like she doesn’t like you

•But honestly? You’re her role model

•She really admires you :)

•Especially if you’re a single parent

•Whenever someone asks she always says

•“I wanna be just like my mom/dad when i get older” :)

•She’ll never admit it to you, but she just wants you to be proud of her

Zofia

•She strikes me as the daintier type but like at the same time not really??

•Shes definitely no stranger to fun

•She loves amusement parks and its one of her favorite places to go

•Surprise her with tickets to disneyland and she’ll cry

•She enjoys fashion but dislikes makeup so shes never really bothered trying to get good at it

•I think she has like, two different types of music she listens to

•She likes classical music when shes trying to focus on things like her hobbies or homework but indie music is her go to

•Mozart, Bach, Beach Bunny and Melanie Martinez being some of her favorites

•I think shes artistic too

•Her room always smells slightly of acrylic paint

•Her room is always really clean

•Other than that one single moldy coffee cup... iykyk

•it has a black and white minimalistic aesthetic

•But her walls have her favorite pieces that shes hand painted framed

•Along with a Van Gogh tapestry next to her bed

•A simple girl, she has a pink betta fish

•It probably has some fancy long name

•Like Elizabeth or Charlotte

•The tanks is perfectly matched to the aesthetic of her room

•She would take such good care of it it would live way past the life expectancy

•She probably takes some sort of martial arts class as well

•Like judo or karate and shes REALLY good at it

•Trophies and medals are all over your house because shes so proud of them

•She just keeps making you proud huh

Falco

•Oh this sweet child

•Hes so gullible

•Hes really smart but he just...believes everything Colt tells him

•And he always finds out its not true the hard way

•It would be dumb stuff that would send him into a crisis too

•Like Colt once told him that if he wasn’t asleep by midnight he would die or something and he actually believed it

•So when he couldn’t sleep he started saying his goodbyes to everyone LMAO

•After a teary eyed conversation you had to convince him it wasn’t true and made Colt apologize

•That gave him trust issues

•As i said in a previous headcanon, I think he would play a lot of instruments

•Piano, guitar and the cello are among his favorites

•He has the most diverse music taste out of all of them

•Its mostly mainstream music though

•He would just hear a song on the radio or on tik tok and would add it to his playlist if he liked it

•Resulting in the most random music

•From bands like coldplay, to doja cat, to cardi b to occasional kpop...

•His dirty secret is that he really likes boybands

•He loves backstreet boys, one direction and 5sos

•Gabi found out and made fun of him for it so he never told anyone after that

•His room is pretty bare and empty other than mass amounts of instruments

•Most of them he never even plays anymore

•He def has empty water bottles everywhere

•But the little bit that he does have in his room is organized chaos

•“Do you have a paperclip?” “to the left of my keyboard pedal on the floor” “Bro...” 

Udo

•B-Babie...

•One of his favorite things is watching a good mystery show or movie, especially the classics like Agatha Christie’s mysteries

•He loves writing them too!

•He takes it very seriously and probably has a mystery novel in the works that he plans to publish when he gets older

•Hes really passionate about it if you ask him about it he could talk about it for hours!

•He has a chameleon or a snake or some other reptile

•Gives it a cute name like Henry or a fandom name like Dobby

•Or something unique nature related like petrichor

•Its his lil buddy it always rides around on his shoulder :)

•His music taste is also diverse

•Zofia introduced him to indie music and he loves it

•He loves bands like The 1975, The Neighbourhood and Jack Stauber

•But his all time favorite band is The Beatles

•His favorite song is Beautiful Boy by John Lennon because it reminds him of when you used to sing to him when he was a little kid :)

•He collects The Beatles posters and vinyls and displays them on the walls in his room

•His room is pretty cluttered with things like clothes, books and school supplies strewn about but his desk is always spotless and organized

•Notebooks with story ideas, his laptop and a gaming controller being the only things on it

•His deepest secret is that he struggles with anxiety which makes him pretty clingy to you :(

•And he doesn’t want to keep sleeping in your bed like he did when he was little so he has a playlist of all the lullabies you sang to him when he was younger

•And he can’t sleep without it :(

•Hes not the most athletic, but I could see him joining the soccer team Falco and Gabi are on just for fun and tries to convince Zofia to join too

•Kinda sad but i think he cries himself to sleep a lot and doesn’t really know why

•Sometimes when he feels really really sad he comes into your room and you watch tv together until he falls asleep

•And hes v tiny so hes easy to carry into his room

•Hes my precious boy I love him so much :,(((((((((((

******

I have two more things I wanna publish for these absolute jelly beans before i take a break from writing for them unless y’all wanna request more hahahahaplzrequestthingshahaha

[blue-mold-gi]

Happy birthday my beloved Noemi <3

I know we don't visit Tumblr as much as we used before, but I didn't  wanna lose the tradition to come here and congratulate you, bc well, this is where all started 🥺

I remember back then I wasn't comfortable with online interaction in English. I was a regular Tumblr user bc I was in the app since a long time ago but when I started stanning  BTS I started to spend more time in this app. I used to read stuff, and I remember the creators used to interact with the readers thru the Q&A option.

Once I came across to one of your sm aus and I liked it so much that I clicked on your page and followed you,  and then I read the other aus that were on your masterlist, to the point I didn't have much to read and started to wait for updates of the current aus that you were posting. I don't remember which one was it, but I do remember it had some type of mystery or clues to resolve, which I liked a lot. You created a space with the readers in which they wrote their theories and also opinions and reactions of the parts you were updating, and it was a beautiful feedback and fun to watch, it was so entertaining and it made everything better (I have never told you but to me you were my fav au writer bc you were so creative). So I wanted to participate and give feedback too, it was a really fun and beautiful community, so despite my insecurities with the English language I wanted to try, and i did bc somehow I felt I wasn't gonna be judged, different than in other blogs.

I used to ask you questions or send you theories by the "~B " pseudonym (to not be -A from ppl yknow), but still I wasn't brave enough to send you a direct message bc I was insecure with the language and shy bc I didn't know what to talk about, so I feared, even bc I thought  that maybe it would be creepy to do, idk I was dumb.

But naturally it happen, I remember you posted about not feeling well bc of a thing that happened and I sent you a DM instead of a question, and from there we started talking.

We shared our instas, we started sending audios in English to practice together, then we started to chat everyday, sharing not only about kpop, anime, songs, movies or whatever, but things in our daily lives... and just like that you became someone so important in my life, I cannot imagine a world where you're not here, at distance, but with me, close in my heart.

I found my soulmate, a person who even tho we aren't in the same part of the world, has seen my best and my worst, my fun and my boring, my happy and sad, and I have seen hers too.

There aren't words that can describe the love, affection and gratefulness I feel for you, but I describe it as soulmates. You complement me, a lot of people think soulmates are the exact copy of one another but it's not, we have different things in either things we like or dislike, things we might think, food we like (ain't forgetting about mangos), songs, styles, opinions, etc, and that's the beauty of all, bc we are there for each other, we have a space of discussion, of learning, of complements, of being vulnerable. And I love that, bc I have grown with you, I have learned with you, and I feel like I'm happy and better and joyful with you.

You're my favorite person in the world 🥺 I have so much love for you, respect and admiration. Because you're so strong, and so damn fucking talented, you're one of the most beautiful (in and out) person I ever met, and I just want the world to see how much you shine.

You mean more than the world to me, and I'm so glad that you're turning one more year, bc even tho the future is not certain, and it's scary, it's an amazing opportunity for big things, that can be self love and grow, and aspects with our personal lives and goals, and also new things that we like and makes our heart full.

I'm excited bc I can be here seeing that it's your birthday and even tho we are far apart, that I can be part of it and share it with you. I'm excited for more memories and to share many more experiences with you.

I WUV YOU A LOOOOOOOOOOOT! A WHOLE LOOOOOOT MI AMOOOOOOOOOR!

And I wish you a beautiful  birthday, hope my virtual hug reaches and that you eat a yummy cake!

Hope big things and big beautiful news come this year to you, and for the bad and ugly, that I hope they don't come, I'll be here for you, always!

I LOVE YOUUUUU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! BUON COMPLEANNO! FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!

Pd. Lee know is allowed to see you for today only.

@inclebtsmix

[veiledsilver]

Top five moments you've felt like the universe was messing with you.

Oh boy everyone get ready this is a long list. In descending order, from mildly funny looking back on it to "oh god oh shit oh fuck":

5. Catfishing: College Edition

In 6th grade, I decided to apply to colleges early to see how they were like. I was scared that if they knew I was too young, they'd arrest me. So I created a gmail account as my persona, a white 12th grader named Emilie Alexander. Emilie was planning to go into nursing, dating a high school linebacker named Kyle Kenderson, and deathly allergic to bee stings. If she even came near a bee, she would die.

This part was of the utmost importance.

See, I was constantly paranoid that one day, the jig would be up- I might forget that my fake last name was Alexander. Or the college dean might come knocking at my door and tear up my home in his mad search for Emilie. If that happened I would fake her tragic death, presumably caused by one big fucking bee.

I secretly collected my information. What nearby states were the prettiest to visit. Which colleges were the safest and most affordable. How often they held courses that I liked. In my emails with colleges I tried to sound as mature and professional as possible.

Then, one day, a college member asked me what high school I was in, so they could check my records.

My blood froze.

It was time to bring out the bee.

In response to their question, I sent an email that was like this:

"Dear Mr. McLaughlin, I was a proud graduate of- ugh! Ah! Kyaaaa! Uwaa! W-w-what's this... huge goddamn bee doing here?! Eek, pardon my foul language! It's just that, as I told you earlier, being stung by a bee would kill me.... and now it's stung me thrice (three times)!!

What do I do?! I can't die... I've always wanted to attend your beautiful college...

But this is... the end...

Mr. McLaughlin...

*looks at you sadly*

Tell... my mother... I loved her...

*dies*"

He never responded, probably because he was rendered speechless, but I never touched that account again.

My private gmail for fun stuff like tumblr still has "Alexander" as a surname, though.

4. Wild and Authentic

Alright. Alright. So. My art teacher in middle school.

Right off the bat, they endeared themselves to the tumblr art kids- they proudly used they/them pronouns, dyed their hair vibrant colors, deeply encouraged OC creation, and was chill with any art style even if it was anime. Mx. Mason was very cool, except for one thing.

We had complete artistic freedom when it came to their assignments, EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.

Drumroll, please.

Take a deep breath if you must.

Ready?

...

Cats had to have extremely distinct whisker pores.

YES, they believed that modern depictions of cats were too streamlined. Too... idealized. As a cat owner themselves, they were convinced that society's vision of cats did not do their feral feline ancestors justice. In making their faces flawlessly smooth-furred, we were stripping the cat of its true nature.

I found this out the hard way, when I was drawing warrior cats fanart for class (it was of Firestar cuddled in the arms of an orange haired anime catgirl who was his reincarnation in my first ever comic series, Warriors Neko Desu! ♡ Heart Academy Dokidoki).

Mx. Mason came over to look at my magnum opus, and I expected them to have their socks knocked off at my artistic talent. They lifted up my drawing for all to see, and I smugly leaned back in my seat.

Only for them to launch into a passionate lecture about how, in neglecting to draw whisker pores on cats, I was DENYING THIS FICTIONAL CAT OF ITS WILD AUTHENTIC SELF.

My friends absolutely lost it when I told them this story, and there was a period of time when all our discord nicknames were wild and authentic too.

As for Firestar and his counterpart Hoshineko Orenji-chan, I never did give them wild authentic whisker holes, but that's to be expected of a kittypet, I guess.

3. Stan Jungkook Or Whatever

A couple years ago, my family and I flew to Seoul, South Korea, to visit our relatives and teach me more about my heritage. It was very nice! I got to visit shrines and festivals and palaces, and I was in awe that this was what my ancestors had once seen in their daily lives.

Then, when we went to the modern side of Korea, I realized just how much I didn't fit in.

It was clear that I didn't know how to act, or how to speak Korean, and I spent my days fumbling around and getting scammed multiple times by salesmen. But I clowned myself the most... during an interactive event with kpop stars.

They had this experimental event where holograms of the boys would sing onstage and dance in place of the actual idols. Before the show began, girls could stand in booths that scanned their appearances, and holograms of THEM could dance onstage with the hologram boys.

I didn't know this.

When Cousin Ae-cha told me to step inside one of the machines, I thought I'd be hilarious and stand backwards, so it would scan the back of me instead of my front. As I walked out, I saw other girls putting on their best makeup, cutest clothes, and most expensive accessories, and I slowly realized that I was in danger.

But the danger didn't come until halfway through the concert, where the boys looked eagerly off-stage and a holy staircase appeared and all the hologram girls descended from heaven. There were cherry blossoms. There were roses. There was me, among the crowd of beautiful airbrushed girls, walking backwards.

I felt the judgemental gazes of twenty girls and their mothers.

Each boy danced with a girl, who got a cute animated moment with special effects, and sang about how they found a dream girl to have a true love romance with. Finally, all the girls vanished except one, and it was me.

One of the boys didn't dance with any girls, and now he was all alone in the rain, feeling dejected that HE did not find his true love girl to have a dream romance with. Then the rain stopped, the sun came out, and I emerged. Still backwards.

He was thrilled and sang about how my face (that he didn't see) stole his heart, and now everyone in the audience was giggling, and he slowly brought me very close to kiss me... but because I was backwards, his nose was cutely nuzzling my hair.

The audience members- at least the adults- were now laughing their asses off. His lips met the back of my head, and together we vanished into the wind.

I'd say I couldn't show my face there ever again, but I never did show my face, so... hm...

2. Horrid Little Temptress

If I wasn't a minor, I'd need a drink before starting this story. Sadly, I cannot drown my sorrows- and neither should you after you hear this, because it's only fair.

Mrs. Appleby was my Spanish teacher in like, 9th grade. Even the wild and authentic art teacher thought she was insane. Appleby forced kids to brew tea for her and yelled at them when they didn't get it right, and I thought she had a chronic squint until I realised she just did that to mock me and my Asian eye-folds. She forced us to watch Dora the Explorer to "absorb knowledge." Everyone fucking hated Mrs. Appleby.

But the worst thing she ever did... was during the school festival.

See, whenever she's angry, she zooms right into kids' faces to scream at them. Her wrinkled flesh would blot out the goddamn sun and all you see are her bloodshot yellow eyeballs so victims just stayed rooted to the spot like cornered animals or something similar. This is important.

Because when she was sampling her own brownies (read: hoarding them so no one else could eat them), one parent foolishly decided to grab one and she thought it was a student and she grabbed his wrist so hard she could've nearly snapped it and... and... zoomed into his face.

Except she underestimated his height and kissed him by accident, but it was more like her mouth was sucking in his face like a vacuum.

His wife was shrieking like an ape. His kid, my classmate, saw his social life flash before his eyes.

In her defense, she did not mouth to mouth with him on purpose and afterwards she cried in the bathroom and when I foolishly followed her in to comfort her, because I am a teacher's pet through and through, she snatched the paper towels I got for her and wailed that she was a-

A-

HORRID LITTLE TEMPTRESS.

If I had decided to not be kind, I never would've heard that string of fucking words. But I did. And I paid for it dearly. The end.

1. Violence IS The Answer, Sometimes

Thomas, my dearly detested.

Back in sixth grade, I used to have a crush on him because he had the surfer boy look with nicely tanned skin and pale blond hair and the clearest aquamarine eyes I've ever seen. He also liked surfing and swimming. He seemed like the perfect little trophy waifu except for one absolute dealbreaker.

He and his parents were extremely conservative and so, when I told him I liked him, his response was basically "haha no you're a [slur] and would probably eat my dog."

I was horrified and ran away to cry. But then, by the next day, I decided I needed to punish him. Thomas walked in before class started and I was waiting for him with these hands. I kicked him so he doubled over, slammed his face into his chair's seat, and quickly clambered on top of him to SIT ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. He started shaking and twitching and trying to pry me off, but eventually he went limp and stopped moving.

I thought he fell asleep, but Mohammed, another classmate who was bullied by Thomas, told me that Thomas might never wake up again (not that he was very sad about this. I didn't know until later, but Thomas said slurs at him too).

While I was sitting on the guy, he'd straight up passed out from the lack of oxygen.

Screaming and crying, I told our homeroom teacher that Thomas suddenly fainted, and she was the type of Caucasian that thought all little Asian kids were sweet and innocent, so it didn't even cross her mind that? It might've been me? Who sat on his head when she walked in?

He was sent home early that day. I had to go to a different school next year because Thomas's mom threatened legal action. The only reason I didn't get punished further was because my rich cousins out-Karen'd her and donated a huge amount of money to the school to keep them quiet.

Anyway, I never did anything that insane ever again, because something like that is enough for a lifetime. My cousins made it clear they would never back me up again. I was sure this whole event would be put behind me, too.

But last fall, during my first day of online learning... who did I see in my zoom meeting... BUT THOMAS! I had my mic and camera off, but the moment he saw my name, his face went pale. His soul would've left his body, but then it would've gone to hell, so it wisely decided to stay inside.

Still, out of shame and embarrassment, I never turned my camera on for the rest of the school year.

[daesungindistress]

Sorry if this is kinda old news but it's been on my mind for a while. Do you think ot5 stans are clinging onto seungri because they're holding onto bigbang's "kings of kpop" title? Like they're afraid bigbang won't be attached to that title anymore..if they forget about seungri.

???

Once upon a time there were five kings. One broke his crown, gave up his throne, relinquished his title, and was banished from the kingdom for being a crook. Now there are four kings. GD, TOP, Taeyang, and Daesung are very much still kings without him. The decline of one, from sovereign to sleaze, does not negate the power and presence of the others.

Except... in the short term I suppose it does. if only they would come back and reclaim their thrones! I’m tired of seeing the “kings” lie so low, even knowing why it has to be so. Seungri was only 1/5 of the group but 4/5 of BIGBANG’s sunken reputation is his doing. It was quite the parting gift. I cannot stress enough the devastation he dealt them before, during, and after his departure... the damage his followers are still inflicting today. The only way for BIGBANG to work themselves up and out of the disgraceful state he left them in is to bring this interminable hiatus of theirs to an end. The title “kings of kpop” is one hundred percent theirs for the (re)taking... and rest assured, they will do it without him.

It’s not that complicated. The main reason most OT5 fans still cling to Seungri is because they are uniformly uninformed. And for those who fancy themselves informed, misinformed. And the scant few who are actually aware? They don't care; they spend their days chasing down damning information and hoping no one will notice as they find new ways to sweep it under the rug. Dumped their dignity down the drain. All the halfway decent Seungri stans saw the writing on the wall and left the fandom years ago, taking what remained of their dignity with them. I am sympathetic to those fans -- or to their memory, anyway. They did the right thing; they saw what he’d become and accepted that his time here had come to an end. His and theirs, and away they went.

The repugnant few who refused to go were bottom of the barrel, even back then. Now, years later, we have a whole new generation of VIPs who don’t have the faintest idea about what really happened during Burning Sun. As international fans all that old news is practically unreachable, except from sources who will never be forthcoming about their fave at his absolute worst. Since their first day here they’ve been raised on lies, like sheep being fattened for slaughter by wolves. “OT5” fans are just Seungri stans’ sad recruits. OT5 as it exists now is a farce and a gross distortion of what it used to be. The old souls know.

Since we’re on this topic... and I know I don’t talk about it much these days but... I’d like to take this opportunity to draw attention to what I think is an interesting update in “the case” as everyone loves to call it. The other day a hearing was held for Seungri’s violence instigation charge, in which (long story short) one victim said he hadn’t felt very threatened at the time and wasn’t interested in pressing charges (okay), while the other said he had felt threatened and verified that the men who took him outside and roughed him up that night had arrived in Seungri’s defense, "talking like gangsters" and saying things like "Don't you know who that was?" inside the room they'd forced him out of. The message being that the person they were shielding (Seungri) was someone of significance. Threats and intimidation to satisfy the up-and-coming CEO’s out-of-control ego, what else is new?

That said, there was an interesting point made at the end of the report: something to the effect of “This is a clear case in which, although the victims did not come forward on their own (they were found through CCTV footage and brought forward by investigators) the incident did happen, there were victims, and it’s confirmed that Seungri was at the center of the conflict.” Not only that, he was the cause of it -- the reason for the disturbance. All these people involved, and for what? To pacify him and his “bad attitude”.

This is important. This goes beyond his violence charge; this has far-reaching implications for several of his other charges: prostitution for himself and others, financial crimes, etc. And did I not say, back in January when this charge was brought against him, that this must be the reason? The argument prosecutors appear to making is that there is a pattern of crimes with Seungri at the center, committed on his behalf, with action taken at his urging. As a high-profile celebrity and a person of influence he managed to keep his hands relatively clean by calling on his connections to do his bidding -- which they did readily.

Funny, because I’ve long been bothered by what I saw in him as a tendency to use others as a means to an end. Including his own fans who, strangely, don’t seem to mind being yanked around by their puppet strings.

Another thing: Seungri is charged with sharing an illicit/illegal photo in the group chat -- that of a woman (women?), naked, from behind. His fans insist it isn’t molka (taken and/or shared in secret, without consent) but that has always been up for debate; because the photo was taken from behind the subject, the victim, could not be identified and contacted for questioning. Seungri claims the photo was sent to him by someone else as an advertisement “for business purposes.” Well, Jung Joonyoung doesn’t agree; not long ago he testified that he believed Seungri took the photo himself. Which makes it molka. And makes him just like his friends. It also makes him a filthy liar, and not for the first time.

This aligns with the chat transcript, by the way; when Seungri posted the photo in the chat his friends thought it was his own and that he was sharing with them who he was with and what he was doing at the time, replying, “Now? ㅋㅋㅋ” Seungri’s response? Not clarification. Nothing about business. Just laughter.

All his attorney could say about the matter was suggest that JJY’s memory of the incident may be faulty. Going the doubt route, I see. Weak.

I just think it’s funny because of course JJY would be the one to rat him out -- after all, we have him to thank (partly) for his role in revealing the truth about Seungri. Back in 2015-2016 when Seungri created the group chat and instructed his friends to exit it routinely, erasing its criminal content as long as everyone did as told, JJY was the one person who didn't listen. Only because JJY did not follow the orders he was given the chats were retained, quietly and carefully investigated, and years later released in a firestorm, leading to every incriminating thing we know now.

Last tidbit: the court also asked, “How is it possible that everyone (in the chat) knew prostitution was being arranged but Seungri alone did not?” Sounds to me like they’re not buying his dumb excuses lol

That’s all :)

[nyctophilin]

A little rant

Hi! So, I have seen this post, and I told myself “This shit can’t be real!” so I decided to exit the page and enter it again and the post was still there. So I did it again and again and again and the post was still there. So this shit is real! Okay. :D

The op said that people got her hot and you know what? She got me hot too, so let’s talk about this. There were so many...things going on in that post and honestly, I am still trying to convince myself that it’s real. Fortunately, op broke it down in three sections so it will be easier for me to address that hot mess.

Warning: I have mentioned some triggering things in here like r@pe, abuse in BDSM relationships, sexualisation, spreading of personal information. Please proceed with caution.

Let’s start with section A, shall we? This whole section is about people being uncomfortable with other people writing smut. OP starts this section by saying “something people need to realize is not everyone is a soft stan or minor.” and they are right. However, there is a difference between being a hard stan and straight-up sexualising someone. 

There is nothing wrong with writing smut, but how you behave outside of that smut fic is what defines you. Some of the writers they are defending just straight up sexualise the boys. There is no creativity there. Being turned on by Hyunjin talking to his dog and sexualising something that Chan said as a response to a mean comment is another level of disgusting that some people have reached. There is no hard stan behaviour in all that, there is just disgusting people behaviour. The fact that they are “adults” does not excuse it.

Another thing they said in the A section was “as writers they can do what they would like to when it comes to their content.” and they are right here too. Is not like we can stop them from continuing to post whatever the fuck they want. However, that doesn’t mean that what they post is right and people shouldn’t be upset about it. Lolita mangas is a thing people do because they want to. Does it make it right? No. Writing fanfiction about real-life terrorists is a thing that people do because they want to. Does it make it right? No. So when someone comes for your favourite smut writer with other arguments besides “I don’t like it.” and points out problematic things with the fic then you have no right telling people to “just dont read their content.”. There are writers that write r@pe fanfiction, abusive BDSM dynamics, sexualising little space, romanticizing mental illness and many more and people have all the rights to be upset about this and call them out. So even if it “makes absolutely no sense” I will “take time out of my day to question a writer’s content” not because I don’t like it, but because it’s wrong. Believe it or not, some things are just wrong, whether people like them or not.

Moving on to section B and this is the one that upset me the most. This section is about how some people are uncomfortable with the age gap between idols and writers that are adults. To sum it up for you because I am not about to quote the whole shit, OP is basically telling us that as long as both the idol and the writer are adults then the age difference shouldn’t matter.

First of all, let’s not talk about how hellbent has been used totally wrong in this context and it took me a moment to realise what they meant, but yes, some people are really fixated on the age difference between idols and writers. You can’t come at me with the bullshit that “it shouldn't matter if everyone in question is an adult.” because you are saying that an almost 30 years old having sexual fantasies about a 19 years old is okay. It’s not. The 19 years old is fresh off of high school and the 30 years old has been working for 6 years. If you wouldn’t be okay with it happening in real life then you shouldn’t be okay with it happening to an idol. 

Some smut writers don’t even write for Jeonging because they say that it’s uncomfortable having this big age difference between them and that they can’t see themselves having sexual fantasies about a senior in high school/freshman in college. If they feel like that and understand the concern people have regarding this matter then so can the other writers in a similar situation. There is no excuse here. If you are a 28 years old thinking sexually about an 18/19 years old(because this is what you need to do in order to be able to write smut) then that is just disgusting. Period.

Second of all, I won’t even talk about the “mathematical representation” part. That whole bit it’s just pure garbage. Just take the whole part and throw it away. This is not a situation that you should represent using math. We are talking about real-life people here, not numbers. What if you were 19 and had a 30 years old write their sexual fantasies about you? Would you feel comfortable with that? Of course, the boys know that the fans have sexual fantasies about them. They are not stupid. However, and this is just my opinion, I don’t think that the first people that come into Jeongin’s mind when he thinks about that, are people approaching or being in their 30s.

Now, part C and this one is a handful. This was supposed to be about minors being upset that adults gatekeep smut but I don’t know if it really respects the theme. It starts with the question “if youre a minor and you get upset over adults writing smut then truly what are you doing??” and this is exactly what they are doing. They are getting upset that adults write smut. It says it right there, in the question. Honestly, this has nothing to do with the “gatekeeping smut” part. If you wanted it to be about that, then it should have been structured in a whole other way.

But anyway, they continue to say how minors interacting with NSFW is wrong and they shouldn’t do it and I fully agree and I have stated this before. They should not partake in this kind of activities because it was not meant for them, but I have never seen anyone say anything about “gatekeeping” smut. Minors are upset at the hypocrisy. And believe it or not, minors writing erotica is not illegal. It’s very much legal. Is it morally correct? Absolutely not and it’s best if they don’t go down that path because it will only harm them. But can you do anything to stop them? No. The only thing you can do is ask them to stop writing it and if they refuse is best to block them. But again, I don’t support minors doing that and I hope they don’t.

Also, don’t even dare tell me about adults that have minors dni or 18+ in their bio. I know for a fact that 80% of those people go and interact with minors themselves. How come you say don’t interact and then you are the one to interact? And on your NSFW blog? At least make a SFW one. None of those people actually care about keeping minors “safe”, although it is a nice impression that you have about them. With the spreading of personal information, keeping minors that write smut secret and telling possible minors to not reveal their age so they can keep interacting with NSFW content, none of those people actually care about minors. They only care about their asses. But again, it is a nice impression you have of them.

Then they go on and say “some minors think theyre mature enough to handle that shit.... NO NO YOU ARE NOT” as if turning 18 magically makes you mature enough. It doesn’t. You still have the 17 years old mentality you had the day before your birthday. I am not saying that minors are mature enough to do that, but again, is anyone mature enough for the r@pe fics and unhealthy BDSM dynamics?

And because OP screamed in that next part, so will I. HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO “GO READ SOME FLUFF OR ANGST” WHEN THE TAGS ARE FULL OF DAMN SMUT? FIRST HAVE SMUT WRITERS STOP TAGGING THEIR SMUT FICS IN THE FLUFF AND ANGST TAG AND THEN THEY WILL GO AND DO THAT TOO.

And this wasn’t planned, but we also have a bonus part. This is so exciting! They say “STOP TREATING STRAY KIDS + EVERY OTHER DAMN KPOP GROUP LIKE BABIES!” and I have been saying this for ages. And you know what I am about to say. However, doing any of the things mentioned in this post cannot be called infantilizing. Wishing that people wouldn’t sexualize or write problematic fiction about them is not babying. Getting uncomfortable when someone 10 years older than an idol has sexual fantasies about them is not babying. Stop acting as if people wishing that other people would stop pursuing disgusting behaviours is wrong.

And please “these grown men”. I almost laughed. The only man that can be called grown there is maybe Chan, but people from Hyunjin to Jeongin are definitely not grown. They are in the process of growing and becoming grown, but they aren’t grown. Of course, people are aware that they know about sex, but they shouldn’t have to deal with having r@pe fics written about them or having people much older thirst about them. And if you don’t agree with that, oh well, that’s sad.

[kanmom51]

I think the misogyny in this fandom is just girls attacking jimin because he has something with Jk that they wish they had.

But I don't think jimin is the only person that this fandom's misogyny hurts, I'm a Armyblink (army and blink) and when i joined the BTS fandom i was told not to go on Twitter because being multi-fandom on Twitter was a literal nightmare but my stupid self didn't listen, the first week i was really happy but then i started following some Stan accounts (armies, blinks and jikookers) and that's when the nightmare started.

Blink were attacking armies, armies were attacking blink, and one time i even thought about leaving the fandom because an account called 'busanbreeze' slut-shamed the girls because of the song ice cream (i know that song isn't really about ice cream), that account was saying that they were wh*res because of that song and a lot of others things one thing that shocked me was the account having 'she/her' as her pronounce which is really sad, women should stick together and not attack each other because if u call your friend or a person you hate a "slut" your just giving men a reason to think it's okay to say it too, and the second reason I left twitter was Taekookers and the whole fandom cause whenever we (jikookers) would celebrate something about jikook they would come and slut shame us and other people and create another nightmare.

So Moral of the story:

Don't follow Stan account (especially if you're multi fandom)

Now a quick disclaimer: i know that a lot of people might fell uncomfortable about me mentioning others groups, and i know these two fandoms are not victims because they both pick on each other and they're both guilty, and i really don't understand, they are the two biggest fandom in kpop and both of them get major hate from 'kpopies' because other groups don't have as much fame as they 2 have, i think instead of fighting we should stick together and don't let other fandoms bully us. About the whole Olivia Rodrigo thing, I'm not even sure if the video is real because someone with a little bit of software knowledge could've faked that, it's very convenient that this happened in the same time these two artists were having a battle for a no.1 song on the chart and even if the video is real i don't think it's her fault but it might be her label's fault, i saw a lot of armies hating on her and i just wanna say that that's not what BTS promotes so stop with the hating and start loving and respecting people because everyone deserves respect.

Omg, sorry for the rant i just really needed to speak up about this because whenever I see a hate comments i think about how that's going to affect the person when they read it and somehow that makes my mental health worst than it already is, thank for creating a safe space for people to express their opinions, i distance myself from the fandom a while ago because of how toxic it is and i fell like your blog helps me to stay connected to the fandom and not seeing negative things and I totally understand if you don't want to share this because I touched on a lot of "controversial" things, bye😘 stay safe😷.

Thank you for sharing your pov anon.

It saddens and angers me to see these behaviours.

Spread the love...

[k-llama-llama]

Warm Reception

Everglow AU: 7th member

Mya/Enya x Everglow

The response isn’t exactly welcoming when Mya first debuts with Everglow.

A/N: ALSO CHECK OUT MY PATREON FOR ACCESS TO EXCLUSIVE CONTENT AND EARLY ACCESS (patreon.com/kllamallama)

Requests are OPEN!!!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“I can’t believe this is actually it.” Mya said excitedly, trying not to squirm as the stylist looped the ribbons into her ponytail. “I’m so nervous.”

 “You’ve debuted before.” Sihyeon laughed. “I think you’ve definitely got this under control.” 

“Yeah, I’ve debuted, but not with you guys.” Mya thanked the stylist as she walked away. “I still can’t process that the music video is already out and we’re going to go out there and perform? It’s crazy.”

 “The music video is doing great, and people are loving you.” Aisha said, handing her a bottle of water. “So the performance will go great too.” 

“I hope so. Oh, can you pass me my phone?” Mya took a sip and reached for the phone that Sihyeon offered. 

“What are you doing?” Aisha asked. 

“I just want to see what people are saying about the video.” She explained. “I watched it when it first came out but I’ve been reviewing everything for the show and I haven’t really seen any of the reactions.” 

She pulled up the video, muting it and then scrolling through the comments. The top ones were all lovely, and she couldn’t help but smile as she read them. Enya really fits the group. All of the girls look so good and this proves that they can only get more powerful. Been a Mya stan since day one and she’s still killing it. She scrolled through more comments, only being slightly focused on the ones talking about her. They mentioned her rapping, her styling, how she looked at the dance break, and they all seemed very positive, or at least not opposed to her being added to the group. 

Until she reached the less popular comments. 

And sure, they weren’t as popular and weren’t receiving as many likes, but there were a lot of them. 

Why would you add this girl to the group? She adds nothing. Enya was clearly added just to steal lines from a group that already has awful line distribution. We don’t need an X1 reject ruining the girls’ reputation. 

She swallowed, forcing the smile back onto her face as she shoved the phone into her bag. “Well….are we ready to go?” 

~time jump~ 

Their performances went well, and if it hadn’t been for the thoughts bouncing around inside of her head Mya could have easily said that it was the happiest she had ever been with her performance on an award show. But every time they struck the ending pose, or she started to go up for her solo parts, or they waved to the fans after the show, she couldn’t help but wonder how many of them were annoyed that she’d been added to the group. 

It wasn’t like she hadn’t expected it. It had happened one hundred times before in kpop and would happen countless more times. Fans grew attached to their groups and didn’t enjoy having them changed, whether it be someone leaving or someone being added. The company had even warned her before the initial announcement, that something like this might happen. Not to mention the fact that she’d dealt with it after Produce as well. People irritated that there was a random girl in a guy’s group, or at least, that was how they saw it. But she’d pushed through it, she knew that she’d earned her place in the group. 

But how could she say she earned her place in Everglow? She’d moved to Yuehua at Seungyoun’s request, and they’d immediately suggested she be added because her name was fairly well known. She hadn’t fought her way into the group and she hadn’t trained with these girls since predebut. As welcome as they might make her feel, she was still an outsider. And fans could tell. 

“Okay, you have to tell us what’s wrong now.” Jiwon turned around in her seat, staring at her. 

“What do you mean?” Mya was startled out of her thoughts. She’d been leaning her face against the window of their van since they left the show fifteen minutes ago, and hadn’t realized that the other girls had been exchanging concerned looks. 

“You haven’t smiled since we left the venue.” Mia pointed out. 

“I’m just….” She rubbed her arm. “Tired, I guess.” 

“We’re all tired. But you were bouncing out of your shoes before we went on stage.” Aisha said. “So what happened?” 

Mya gave an awkward laugh. “I mean….It’s our first show together but I’m always like this after performances. I guess I just-“ 

“You smiled through five AM practices.” Onda protested. “So why aren’t you smiling now? Are you not happy with your debut? With the performance?” 

“Come on, Mimi.” Yiren poked her arm lightly. “You can tell us anything.”

 Mya sighed. “I just….read some comments about how people feel about me being added to the group. And I’m really sorry that you guys have had to deal with this.” 

“Deal with what?” Jiwon exclaimed. “Was it something bad?” 

Mya nodded. 

“Well, I don’t see why people would be upset.” Sihyeon crossed her arms. “You’re awesome, and there were always rumours that we’d add another member anyways.”

 “Yeah, another member, but not a completely random girl that just walked in-“ 

“Just because you didn’t train with us doesn’t mean you didn’t earn your spot.” Mia reached back to rub her shoulder. “Besides, you’ve been through a lot and you deserve this debut.”

 “Still….I’m taking up lines and positions and-“

 “You’re in the group now, which means you get those spots.” Jiwon said. “No one forced us to add you to the group. We wanted you.” 

“So don’t go being all depressing now.” Yiren leaned her head on her shoulder. “We can’t be friends if you’re going to make me sad all of the time.” 

Mya snorted. “Sorry for being such a downer, I guess.” 

“Don’t be.” Aisha grinned. “But from now on, only read the nice comments.” 

“Easier said than done.” 

“I’ll go through tonight and start reporting mean comments.” Onda held up a thumbs up. 

“There’s literally hundreds of them.” Mya protested. 

“Then I’d better get busy. No one treats my group mate like that if I have anything to say about it.” 

Mya smiled. “Thanks guys. I don’t know if I’ve told you yet, but you’re kind of awesome.”

 “We know.” Yiren playfully flipped her hair. 

“Now perk up, because we have another schedule and need a smiling Enya.” Jiwon held out her hand for a high-five. 

Mya smacked her hand against hers. “Roger that, Captain.”