#no one is backing me up in important issues

[harpieisthecarpie]

Thanks for the peer review o7 i will use this power for ramble

I do think that a lot of the fic sex/romance issues were started in a genuine push to not spread misinformation, bc iirc fics used to parrot a lot of common myths re: intercourse (even moreso than now), especially ones about non-"traditional" non-cishet practices. And safety. And anatomy.

Which, it's cool and good to see a push for sex positivity and education! But I do feel there's now a pressure (internal or external) for the sexual aspects of fic to be textbook safe, sane, and consensual in all avenues.

I have 2 main reasons (beyond fic ≠ sex ed) that the squeaky clean route shouldn't be our only route. Which are: characterization, and erotica vs romance.

Firstly, characterization:

Intimacy can be an amazing way to explore characters, a relationship, or even a setting in your story. You can miss out on a lot by treating sex as simply a lesson rather than a tool in your narrative toolbelt!

Tbh I think the reason gen z ppl (like me) often say we "hate sex scenes" in media is bc they feel unnecessarily explicit or unnecessary in general, and we often don't have the language for what the problem is. Or we misattribute the ickiness to sex scenes happening at all!

I'm grayace and they can be boring af, or sometimes creepy as hell for reasons unrelated to the narrative (stop auteur directors now! /hj).

But one of my fave fave fave book series is the Binding Light trilogy by Freya Marske (I think the author's on tumblr actually), in which the sex scenes are narratively pivotal. And I, the sex scene hater, love the series sm I didn't even have to look up the title or author just now!! Unheard of!!!

These books are so dear to me bc the intimate scenes mirror both the (wonderful, superb) magic system AND the characters' relationships! Their sexual vulnerability and connection evolves alongside the characters' development. I've never before rambled about breathplay as a metaphor for trust, but Marske had me writing ESSAYS. My apologies to my friends' DMs

At first I had skipped those sex scenes, but once I had to go back for plot info, actually reading them made me go "oh holy shit this is all important".

I think stories miss that relevence pretty often. You don't NEED to have sex scenes, but also you CAN have them wherever it feels right.

IMO It's important to treat intimacy (of all kinds) in a work as character exploration first, rather than purely mile markers or something for characters (and writers) to "get a good grade in"

Moving on to erotica vs romance:

I've recently been watching a lot of SAVY WRITES BOOKS on youtube, and in one of her CoHo reviews she talked about the difference between works labelled "erotica" and "romance".

To her, romance novels have a sense of realism, they exist in a world that functions (at least adjacently) like ours. A romance would treat consent and safe sex like we do irl (or some historical equivalent based on setting). Basically, characters wouldn't be able to smash in a subway car without getting charged with public indecency.

Thus, if the characters were practicing BDSM, they would on some level acknowledge they're performing a scene (ex. consent check-ins and safewords). Here we have some level of RACK. Or if its unhealthy, there's framing acknowledging that fact!

Whereas erotica exists inside that BDSM scene! An erotic fic that tags its kinks and content correctly has given you enough for you to have informed consent. If you read the fic, you will thus be reading the "fantasy" of a BDSM scene. We know this isn't necessarily realistic or healthy, and that's fine! We read it with the knowledge it's not meant to be!

Uhhhh so. This was a really long way for me to explain "fanfic isn't sex ed so it's fine if they don't always use contraceptive"

tl;dr Intimacy and sex are cool for characterization. And smut is a Scene, if a person is informed of its contents all consent is accounted for :)

author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone

a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | November 4th-10th 2024

I think we can all agree that last week was a bit of a rollercoaster? 🙃 At least we still have our emotional support gay firefighter show ❤️

(as always, if you know someone who's not tagged, please tag them in the comments!)

Complete

Good Luck Babe by jesuisici33/ @jesuisici33 (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda | 1K | Teen): Buck nods. His own face still has that kicked puppy look. But he manages a smile. Even sad, Buck’s smiles light his face up. Eddie thinks he could never get tired of Buck’s smiles. “Why did you shave it off? I need a distraction. A happy one.” “I’m working on no longer denying myself fruit juice.” It’s Buck’s turn to open and close his mouth in confusion. “O…kay? I don’t know what that means.”

watch you win, watch you cry by wenttoafortuneteller (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda, Pre-Buddie | 1K | Teen): Buck lets out a long, tired sigh and admits: “Tommy broke up with me.” “Oh,” Eddie says. He makes a conscious effort not to smile.

your shoulders brush (no proof, one touch) by farfromthstars/ @doeeyeseddie (S8E6: Confessions Coda, Pre-Buddie | 1K | General): “It’s not funny,” Buck whines. “I just thought– we have– were having a good time together. And he’s been so great through the whole figuring myself out, he made me feel so, um, so secure in my sexuality, you know?” “Well, you’re not any less bisexual if you’re not dating him,” Eddie shrugs. “So I guess he didn’t feel the same way, then?” “Kind of?” Buck turns on the couch and pulls one of his legs up. His knee nudges Eddie’s thigh, and Eddie is suddenly very aware that he’s not wearing pants.

ode to a conversation by markofalover/ @markofalover (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda, Getting Together 3K | Explicit): “He was right to break it off, because—Josh asked if I thought about him when he wasn’t around, and if his concerns and happiness were important to me, if I saw a future, and, Eddie, I—” “Buck,” Eddie cuts through again, and this time Buck listens. Closes his mouth and stares at him with big blue eyes, and Eddie. Eddie’s heart is in his mouth. It’s right in front of him. “Come here.”

It’s Always Been You by scarmaddiewrites (S8, Getting Together, PWP | 3K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie travel to Texas to pick up Chris and run into some issues, all leading to them finally getting together.

ode to joy by signetsealed/ @gayeddieagenda (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda, PWP | 3K | Explicit): “Okay,” Buck says. "Let's do that.” Eddie frowns. “Do what? Dance?” “Sure,” Buck says. “That, or whatever else you were thinking of doing. We can…be joyful.”

i must confess, i’m in love with my own sins by inbetweenthestacks/ @organizedstardust (S8E6: Confessions Spec | 3K | Teen): “I just want it to be easy, you know? I don’t want to have to think about if I’m acting the right way or saying the right thing. I just want to have a-a person. I want someone that wants to stand next to me. I want to know someone is always gonna pick me, no matter what, they’ll have my back. Like how it is with—“ he stops short. Buck, he almost says. Like how it is with Buck. — Eddie goes to confession and has a few revelations.

lock me down tonight by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (PWP, Getting Together | 4K | Explicit): Buck grabs the bathroom door, but freezes before he can open it more than an inch. Because Eddie is in the shower, but he’s not crying. Eddie is standing with one arm braced against the tiled wall, turned away from the door. The shower spray cascades over his muscled back and the curve of his ass. His other hand is wrapped around his cock.

"What the fuck, make your move." by dylaesthetics (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda, PWP | 4K | Explicit): When Buck smashes their mouths together, Eddie forgets how to breathe. Then, he isn’t all that interested in basic human necessities such as that. He thinks, at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs instead lie Kissing Buck, Making Buck moan, and Trying not to come in my briefs. ~ OR Eddie is Buck's last.

Thankful for You by scarmaddiewrites (S8, BT Break-Up, Pre-Buddie): The one where Buck plans Thanksgiving dinner at his place and then breaks up with his boyfriend.

Take The Bitter With The Sweet by fruitsdoesnotknow/ @tayf-ghost (Ravi POV, Gettign Together | 5K | Teen): No one thought to brief Ravi on the Buckley-Diaz situation when he finally joins the 118. Spoiler, it goes about as well as a car crash.

first and last by hispolestar (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda | 6K | Explicit): And suddenly, like Eddie summoned him, Buck is standing in front of his door. Eddie’s not sure if this indicates that God is real, because He saw Eddie’s quest for joy, or if it’s just Evan Buckley. It’s probably the latter.

The Only Truth by phdmama/ @phdmama (Magic AU, Getting Together | 6K | Explicit): Eddie says, “I fucking hate you.” At least, that’s what Eddie intends to say, because he means it, in that moment he absolutely means it, having just watched Buck rappel four stories down a burning building and hit the ground eight seconds ahead of the roof caving in. What comes out instead is, “I fucking love you.” Luckily, just as he had opened his mouth, the roof had, in fact, collapsed, which caused a lot of commotion and noise and whatnot, and Eddie’s words, his very strange and unintended words, get lost in the mayhem. Huh, Eddie thinks as his body moves on autopilot, racing across the cracked asphalt of the parking lot. That was weird.

a night in early october by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Post-S5, Getting Together | 6K | Mature): Buck comes home from an extra shift, and Eddie makes him dinner.

sweet talk with a hint of sin by justhockey (Post-S8E6: Confessions Coda, Getting Together, PWP | 7K | Explicit): He doesn’t want to stop; he doesn’t even want to slow down. He wants this, here, for the rest of his life. And he’s past wondering if he deserves it, past thinking he isn’t good enough for a man like Buck, past being scared of the love that lives inside of him. He wants Buck selfishly, wants him greedily, and if he’s willing to give himself over to Eddie, then Eddie isn’t a selfless enough man to say no. He isn’t strong enough to deny himself such joy. “Need you,” Eddie begs. “Please, Buck. Please.”

said that i was fine, said it from my coffin by justhockey (Post-S7, BT Break-Up, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): Buck leans in so close that Eddie can feel his breath on his cheek when he asks, “Hey, are you sure you’re alright?” “I’m fine,” Eddie lies. And it doesn’t matter that he feels like he’s dying. Like the version of himself that he’s always been is suddenly a stranger to him - just a mask he’d spent his entire life hiding behind, without ever even realising he was wearing it. It doesn’t matter that Eddie is…that he’s gay. Because he knows - as surely as he knows that the sun will rise again tomorrow - that the only person he has ever, and will ever, truly love is Buck. And Buck isn’t his to love.

don’t mention any other name (that doesn’t sound like mine) by bandshirts (Post-S7, Getting Together | 9K | Mature): Or, Eddie flirts with a man at a gay bar. Buck is totally normal about it. (Spoiler: he’s not.)

so only say my name (it will be held against you) by bandshirts (Post-7x04, Getting Together | 10K | Explicit): Or, Buck accidentally says Eddie’s name during sex, figures out some things about himself, and finally gets the right guy this time.

WIP

wicked dreams by hispolestar (Post-S7, BT Break-Up, Eddie Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 3/9 | 14K | Explicit): Eddie’s trouble starts with a dream. Well, it actually starts much earlier, when he runs into a woman who is the literal carbon copy of his dead wife. Or, alternatively it starts with a lightning bolt. Or a sniper. Or a firetruck. Or a car crash. Or, realistically, a grenade embedded in a seventh-grade teacher’s leg. It starts with blue eyes, broad shoulders and a tenacity that shocks Eddie to his very core. But right now, Eddie’s trouble starts with a dream. ~ Eddie, alone and confused, is navigating Christopher's extended stay in Texas, while also grappling with feelings he's been repressing for seven years. Buck, who misses Chris dearly, is struggling under Gerrard and his boyfriend's dismissive attitude. In the wreckage of their lives, they find each other.

I guess your mama didn't know the gift she got when she got you by disasterbuck/ @disasterbuck (Post-S7, Fake Relationship | 5/? | 10K | Teen): "He has someone else he can go to," Eddie said automatically, Buck's smiling face flashing into his mind. "Your friend Buck doesn't count," she said dismissively, and Eddie felt his hackles rising defensively. "I'm talking about a partner, Eddie. Someone who will commit to being with you and Christopher for the rest of your lives." "Buck is committed," Eddie said before he could think about what he was saying. "He's not going anywhere." There was a pause on the other end of the line. "When you say committed…" she asked hesitantly, voice trailing off. - Tired of his mom's nagging, Eddie tells a lie that spirals wildly out of control.

Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 7/? | 44K | Explicit): In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path.

& such by colonoscopys/ @colonoscopys (81K | Teen): prompts and spec fics and codas and all the works jumbled mumbled into one place.

Chapter 20: GAY EDDIE REAL (1K)

Podfic

🔥[podfic] a night in early october by half_bakedboy/ @half-bakedboy // fic by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Post-S5, Getting Together | 30-45min | Mature): Buck comes home from an extra shift, and Eddie makes him dinner.

Re-read

woke up the girl who looked just like you, i almost said your name by rarakiplin (gmontys)/ @hoediaz (S5, Out Eddie, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): Or, five times Eddie dates a guy a little too similar to Buck, and one time he dates the real deal.

[biting-miguel-ohara]

Holiday Blues - Wade Wilson x bunny mutant!Reader x Logan Howlett

A/N: *deep breath in; deep breath out* there are so many things about this fic that I despise. I want to put so many disclaimers about bad writing or sloppy endings or heavy angst. But I said I’d post it if there was interest so here we are. However, THIS IS NOT MY BEST WORK!!! I really just wrote it as a way to channel my anxiety, so if it’s shitty or just bad I won’t be surprised

No taglist for this one

Reader is vaguely implied to be ftm trans during one paragraph of the fic. But it also can be read as a cis male!Reader too

There are a lot of internalized feelings in this, some toxic masculinity, and other uncomfy things. Please read all the warnings and take them seriously before reading

Also, very important. While it’s never directly stated in the fic, I wrote this Reader based off my experiences with RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). However, there’s a lot more going on with me than just that, so I do have to say this is only indicative of my experiences, not experiences with this as a whole. Other things may have crept in as well, simply by the nature of basing this off of me

CW: Reader is dating both Logan and Wade; Reader loves the holidays; Reader comes from a family with holiday traditions; Logan comes off as a bit rude, but it’s for reasons I don’t elaborate on; Reader is a bunny mutant; Reader is sensitive to rejection; Reader spirals fast in this; angst; anxiety; panic; hiding; Reader is hit with a lot of emotions all at once; negative thought spirals; internalized emotions; toxic masculinity moments; crying; humiliation; shame; guilt; Reader’s family is mentioned as a guilt trip; comfort seeking; more shame; there’s lots of shame in this one; prey instincts contributing to the negativity; hugging; comfort; problems are not addressed; Reader bounces back fast; Wade gets Reader’s brain; Wade has implied mental health issues as well; soft moments; quick ending; mild allusions to sexy things; god this reads so bad; okay, here are my disclaimers: bad writing, vent writing, fast-paced writing, sudden ending, and highly-charged emotional states from the Reader

1641 words

It’s no secret among your boyfriends that you love the holidays. Any chance you can get you’re constantly hanging up decorations, planning parties, and preparing food,

It’s some of the few times a year you truly come alive when doing something. It’s your time of the year. Holidays have always been your thing.

It’s tradition, from growing up in your burrow. Everyone would help out, making the holidays a time of family fun and chaos and celebration.

So when you come home to Wade decorating your apartment, you immediately want to help. You’ve barely taken off your sweater before you’re bouncing up to him. “What can I do?”

He gives you a grin, gesturing to the kitchen. “Ask Wolvie. He’s been baking all day.”

It both excites and confuses you. You’re not hosting any parties or going to an event today. So what’s going on?

Still, you head into the kitchen. Logan’s working on a pie, carefully making a beautiful lattice of crust on top.

You place a kiss on his cheek. “Can I help?”

“Ask Wade.”

His answer is short. Quick. To the point. Almost brusque even. You know he’s just concentrating, but it still makes you falter. “Um… alright.”

You head back to Wade, but he just gives you a shrug. “Sorry, handsome, but I think we got it.”

You stand there for a moment before nodding and heading into the bedroom.

You sit on the bed, staring at your hands. Normally, you’d just brush off their responses and find something else to do. But it’s the holidays. You’re supposed to be out there helping.

Their rejection of your help hurts more than you care to admit.

But it’s stupid. It’s just decorations and food. They’ve got it all covered.

You try to tell yourself that, but the hurt still wells up in your chest. You can feel it rising, making your breathing quicken. You grip one of your bunny ears, stroking it in an attempt to calm yourself down. It’s what Wade always does.

Maybe you did something to offend them? Or maybe they were trying to surprise you and you ruined it by coming home early?

You try to think of anything and everything as a reason for their dismissals. It has to be something. It has to be.

Anxiety spikes in your chest and you burrow under the covers. It feels comforting, like you’re back in your home warren for a moment. You curl into a ball, tucking your knees to your chest.

You count your breaths, struggling to slow the beat of your heart. But it’s no real use. The wave of emotions is already here. It crashes into you, drowning you in reasons why and what you did wrong. Over and over, your thoughts spiral.

Your eyes prickle, but you refuse to cry. The only thing worse than feeling like this is having Wade and Logan think you’re dumb for it. You’re a man. You can handle it.

You press your palms to your eyes, but the wetness still seeps out. You can handle it. You can handle it. You can handle it.

You don’t sob. Thankfully. You just cry in silence. Stuttered breaths in and out. In and out. It feels humiliating. You, crying while your boyfriends decorate.

You should be better than this. You should be better than this now. What would your family think if they saw you crying instead of celebrating?

That thought only adds to the shame in your chest and you scrunch up even tighter. You’re not some dumb flopsy bunny anymore. You’re a rabbit. A man. Crying is for flopsy bunnies.

The thoughts continue. Eventually, your silent crying turns to soft hiccups. Your tears dry up, leaving your eyes puffy and itchy.

You don’t get up until you hear the timer ringing in the kitchen. Logan’s pie is done. You can smell it. Apple. Your favorite.

Slowly, you uncurl yourself. You crawl out from beneath the blankets. You change into a pair of boxers and one of Wade’s sweaters. Your comfort outfit. You know it’ll be a tell that something’s wrong, but you need the safety of the fabric.

You open the door to the bedroom and shuffle out. No Wade. You hear him in the kitchen.

You take a moment to use the bathroom. To stare dully at your reflection in the mirror and splash water on your face to try and reduce the puffiness. It… sort of works.

Wade’s knock on the door has you startling. “Oh, bunny boy! Dinner’s ready!”

You flinch, curling into yourself a little. They’re gonna know you were crying. They’re gonna know you were upset over something so stupid. They’re gonna think you’re dumb.

You’re shaking as you open the door. You know it’s your prey instincts. Programmed to carry you away, to keep you safe from any harm. But that doesn’t make it feel any better.

Wade blinks at you as you emerge. His whole body seems to soften. “Hey… What’s wrong?”

He’s always so soft with you whenever you’re upset. Occasionally silly, but so soft. Sometimes you love it. Right now it just makes the pit of guilt in your chest bigger.

“Nothing…” you mumble.

He frowns, but pulls you into a hug. It helps. It loosens the ball of shame, slowly soothing it apart. You take a deep breath and hug him back.

“Everything alright?” Logan, from the kitchen doorway.

You think Wade gives him a look, or maybe he just picks up on the clothes you’re wearing. Either way, you’re enfolded in another set of arms.

“Hey, bunny. What’s wrong?” Logan’s often gentle too. It helps you relax the last bit of the way, the knot in your chest finally unraveling.

“Just… my brain…” You’re now more embarrassed than anything. Why would they think you’re dumb? They’ve always been understanding and loving, especially with you.

Wade strokes one of your bunny ears, the action immediately calming your frayed emotions. Bringing back your peace of mind. “Being a bully again, huh?”

You nod.

Logan rubs your back, his touch gentler than normal. “Was it something we said?”

Damn his perceptiveness. You were hoping to get out of this without an explanation.

You sigh and rest your forehead on Wade’s shoulder. “I just… I wanna help too…”

There’s a moment of silence, then Wade hums. “You can wrap the gift I got Wolvie. It was supposed to be a surprise, but it’s the last thing to do.”

It’s almost embarrassing how quickly your entire self perks up at the idea. You grin, already straightening up. “You mean it? I can help?”

Logan chuckles while Wade matches your grin. “Absolutely, handsome! But first…”

He takes your hands and gives them a squeeze. “Let’s eat. You’ll feel much better once you have food in you. The surprise can wait for later.”

Logan agrees and you give in quickly.

Dinner goes by fast and soon you’re in the bedroom again, this time with a box and gift wrap in your hands. You focus on wrapping the present as Wade sits on the bed. Logan’s busy with food clean up, bustling away in the kitchen.

“We'll always love you,” Wade says, startling you from your task. You look up at him. “What?”

“Whatever your brain says while you’re upset. It’s not true.” He looks at you intently. “We love you.”

You swallow and look down. With anyone else, you’d protest. But you know him. You know him. He’s speaking more than just to comfort you right now.

“I love you too,” you say quietly. “Even on your bad days, I love you too.”

His shoulders relax but his gaze stays on you. He doesn’t say anything more though. He just watches you. It’s a little intimidating, but you let him.

You finish wrapping the box and place a nice big bow on the top. “Done.”

Wade smiles. His expression soft once more. It relieves a burden off your shoulders in some way. Some lingering guilt or whatever weighing you down.

You love him. He loves you. He doesn’t have to say it for you to know he gets your mind almost as well as you do. He struggles with his brain too.

You hold out the box to him, a silent acknowledgment of each other in the air. He takes it, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “You’re adorable in my sweater, you know that?”

It pulls a laugh out of you, lightening the air. “Yeah. I know. Why do you think I wear it all the time?”

He smiles. “Careful, buns. You know how your sassiness gets me going.”

You roll your eyes and grin. “Yeah, yeah.”

You eye the wrapped box in his hands, a spark of curiosity in your mind. “What’s in there anyway? And what’re we celebrating in the first place?”

Wade smirks. “We’re celebrating us. And this?” He shakes the box a little. “This is for later. Consider it my gift to you and Wolvie.”

Celebrating us. The idea warms you like nothing else. Nothing else seems to matter except that. They planned a small thing just to celebrate you and them.

You lean in and kiss Wade. “Thank you. For all of it.”

He softens despite himself, his smile turning warm. “Hey, don’t thank me yet. Wolvie still hasn’t opened his gift yet. Thank me then.”

But he seems to understand. For a moment. Before he smacks your ass lightly and points towards the kitchen. “Let’s go, buns. The Readers and Wolvie can’t wait for the ending forever.”

You blink, but don’t question his words. He’ll explain eventually. For now, you’re just ready to enjoy some pie and find out what’s in Wade’s gift.

After all, knowing him, it’s probably something raunchy. And you could do with something a little stronger than cuddles.

[dogtoling]

General life- and blog update , since I assume at least a few people might have been wondering where I've been and what i've been up to recently. I obviously haven't been posting or drawing much this year in general. This will probably be an important post if you care about stuff on this blog, and I already rambled on Sheezy, but that site isn't very populated yet and it's also very good at hiding journals so let's just ramble again...

The summary of this post if you hate reading: I'm heavily considering just stepping away from Splatoon. That decision obviously would affect this blog (mostly, my OCs, which is kinda most of the blog at this point). I don't think the blog itself will go anywhere, and I'll probably use it for something in the future... alternatively i'll cherry pick stuff from here into an archive for people who like the worldbuilding.

Longer post under cut:

So what have I been up to this year? The answer is quite simple: NOTHING. Like, actually absolutely nothing. Aside from Art Fight, this has probably been one of my worst art output years of all time, which is really frustrating. That's between my horrendous mental health and depression chasms this year and a complete lack of both focus and inspiration (which can also get chalked down to the depression to a degree, yeah). So the very real reason to why there hasn't been much activity on this blog this year is because I just haven't Done Anything in general.

Now because I know there will be a few people who think "that's fine! you shouldn't judge yourself based on productivity!" you're right! I also agree. However the issue for me specifically is that most (if not all) the time I spend NOT drawing or creating, I spend sitting around wishing I could start drawing or creating, because that is like the 1 thing that keeps me sane on this freaking earth. Unfortunately coming up with OC scenarios in my head doesn't really result in output I can feel fulfilled by in any form as much as I wish it did, lol.

Now; The Issue. It doesn't take a genius to see that if you spend 9 months trying to finish like a dozen OC pages that you COULD do in a week or 2 if you wanted to, then there's probably more than just the problem of executive dysfunction (even though that's at least 60% of it for sure). Obviously my other major problem is that I live by imaginary rules and structures that make sense, but aren't actually useful at ALL in reality and are more than a hindrance if anything (the mental to do-list in my head that says i can't do X until I've done Y doesn't do very much if task Y takes 10 months and I also don't want to do it, and it also has no structured ending).

How does this tie into stepping away from Splatoon, you may ask. Well, the issue is that I have foreseeably fallen out of love with the series. Which isn't exactly news lol. Currently, I'm not even sure i will get the next game, if and when the time comes. Yes, the loss of interest is also expected, given that Splatoon 3 has ended and every fandom has this kind of downtime and lukewarm in-between-titles period. But the truth is that modern Splatoon (almost 10 years old!!!!) is tangibly different from the way the series was back when I fell in love with it. That was Splatoon 1, and while the series has improved in a lot of aspects and is thriving, it's grown in a direction that I just don't really like. Splatoon 3 had the most freaking horrendous, immersion breaking story mode they could've done, then they followed it up with a DLC story that was pretty cool but also compounded a lot of my fears about the series' future and played into every single thing i do not want Splatoon stories to be - fully character focused, random fucking villain, mundane event that's unrealistically world-threatening just because a kids video game needs a scary climax even though it's immersion breaking AGAIN, the whole thing taking place in cyberspace and thus offering basically no worldbuilding even though there is SO MUCH WORLD. I COULD GO ON.

The gist of it is that nowadays, rather than playing Splatoon and being inspired and excited at what comes next, I mostly find myself dreading what dumbass plot they will do next to throw a wrench in the otherwise good stuff. And when that's like THE main approach I have to what's supposed to be my favorite series, it is HARROWING. I can't even really blame the game for this; the story is NOT its selling point, the developers probably do their best to get the bits to us that they really want to tell, and at the end of the day the game is unfortunately a product. Worldbuilding for Splatoon is fun to a point. It's less fun when in order to actually write or create something coherent, instead of filling in the blanks, the blanks are 90% of the freaking thing. At that point you're just better off making something of your own instead of being anchored onto an IP that gives more problems than answers and occasionally shoots you with like a machine gun. Working in the realm of Splatoon is frustrating because more often than not, the questions I have ARE NOT MINE TO ANSWER, and the likelihood that the specific-ass questions I need answers to will ever be actually addressed is really low.

Tying this back to my OCs. Obviously I love my OCs more than I love myself which admittedly isn't that high of a bar but you get the point. The problem is that I spend a lot of time mulling over worldbuilding that, again, frankly isn't mine to do. Because if I want it to be Splatoon, then it should be mostly accurate to how Splatoon is! But the problem with that is that there's really not THAT MUCH worldbuilding in the series that you can work with, and most of the core game mechanics are just abstract enough that it's actually horrendous to try and come up with workarounds and ways for things to make sense that don't require just constructing a full knockoff version mirror dimension of the game and saying fuck everything that's in place here because Inkopolis Plaza literally has no roads in or out of there and I have no fucking idea how that's allowed when your only option is to jump the fence (or, nowadays, take the train which also isnt connected to a street as far as I remember). Between the face value issue and the lack of REALLY IMPORTANT worldbuilding, like - I will always come back to this - THE INK TANK'S FUNCTION 10 YEARS DOWN THE LINE - there's a goddamn ocean of plot holes and things that end up being obstacles to creativity rather than inspiration. I feel like I'm pretty solidly at the point (and have been for a while) where hanging onto Splatoon is really only contributing to creativity block and frustration with lack of freedom and the ability to actually do things.

So I guess those are my reasonings that I've put together just sitting here for the time being. The TL;DR is that I wish I could just do stuff without Splatoon's canon getting in the way, which is a really stupid problem to have if you're making Splatoon OCs. I feel this frustration extremely strongly every time I have to work with actual bigger aspects of the world; we still don't have an Inkopolis map, we don't know what the world around Inkopolis looks like, we don't know what the wilderness is like aside from Just Normal Forest and Desert and very few snippets as to what modern wildlife MIGHT be, I still don't know how the fuck the Inklings teleport to the goddamn arctic ocean to play a turf war at Shipshape Cargo co. These are all actually really important things if you're trying to establish a setting in any kind of storytelling that's outside of immediate city bounds (and even there, you need to know the layout of the city and its important areas). Also a fucking mutant bear and a baby salmon and a squid not wearing suitable gear went to space and fought on a rocket in space. These are some things that would give me peace of mind to not have to deal with in my own writing, probably.

So where do we go from here? Unsure. I haven't really made a decision on this front yet, though right now I'm leaning more towards actually going ahead with trying to do my own thing. That will result in obvious design and setting changes for my OCs whenever I get around to it. This blog probably won't go anywhere (again, unless I impulse delete it during a mood swing like i've almost done on like three separate occasions this year), but it will probably get less use, and I will probably end up making a new blog to post about whatever I end up doing once I get to a point where it feels like it makes sense. There's a chance that I will delete this blog and put all the interesting stuff on an archive blog for the people who are here just for the worldbuilding. My actual true passion for a long time now hasn't even been Splatoon anymore, it's just been cephalopods. I'm kind of done having Splatoon get in the way of the cephalopods, as thankful as I am that it introduced me to them...

If you read this to the end heres a treat for you = 🍪

[akirathedramaqueen]

CBT and Exposure Therapy: Blitzø Showcase

An important (really, don't skip) disclaimer

If you are contemplating whether or not you would benefit from any kind of therapy, consider consulting with your medical provider first. While I did my best to validate all the points made using publicly available resources, I am not a medical professional. At the very least, I strongly advise that you do your own research and not take some amateur's opinion about a character from a silly demon show for granted.

"Everyone in this show needs fucking therapy STAT!"

We hear fans screaming into the void every now and then. Me too. I plead guilty and I willingly put myself in custody. But I am not taking these words back.

Especially often it is being said with Blitzø in mind, who, as hinted earlier and clearly shown in the latest episode, Ghostfuckers, is not doing okay. Not in the slightest.

Which is . . . yes. Indeed, trauma-ridden Blitzø is a major problem for both him and those around him. Yes, we see him reaching his lowest point now exactly because he left these gaping wounds untreated for so long.

But the tricky question is—how, though? What to do? Will a good talking to a confidante help? Or, maybe, some kind of shock would snap him out of the spiral?

I've been pondering on this topic for more than 4 months, and, as the Ghostfuckers came out, I finally got all the data I need to prove a point. The show did all the job for me and effectively made Blitzø go through improvised versions of two popular therapy techniques. And, before I even start, I want to say—I am so glad with what we ended up with. What they did, and, more importantly, didn't do, aligns well with how it would likely happen in real life.

So buckle up, and let's see where it gets us!

Therapy # 1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT

This is, in essence and with some corrections, your good old talking. Here you can find more information about it, so, if you're not familiar with the topic, I recommend following the link first.

But, very shortly: CBT is an extremely common approach to be tried while you're dealing with anxiety, depression, and a number of other mental disorders. What it aims to do is to help you get past unhelpful thinking (distortions) and learn not to act on it.

Looks like it fits the bill, right? Blitzø has a lot of issues with self-fulfilling prophecies, infuriatingly stupid assumptions, poorly thought-out actions . . .

But he's not like, you know . . . w-we're not, like . . . we're not doing a . . . w-we . . . what's betw— It's a transactional fucking, you see.

If you don't feel like coming, that's OK! I'm sure I can do without it for one month. :)

Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his matress! It's nothing, ya know . . . it's nothing else.

You . . . no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me . . . You are— you are free of me.

He sees things which aren't truly there.

It's not Stolas giving him space after the disaster in the 'Ozzie's.' It must be Stolas not needing him anymore, getting tired of him.

It's not Stolas caring about Blitzø. He is a royal, why would he care how an imp's day he happened to be fucking was?

It's not Stolas setting Blitzø free and putting an end to a problematic transaction they had with the hope for it to grow into something more. It's him getting rid of Blitzø.

As a result, he ends up hurting himself and the relationship he had with that one sad gay bird he happened to fall deeply for but literally trashed in his own house twice, acting on nothing more than frenetic fear of losing Stolas, but in reality, driving him away even more . . . for good.

I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!

Ha! I'm right, aren't I? You get off getting plowed by people you look down on!

And I can sorry more people, everyone but you! 'Cause I don't owe you dick! Everyone, but you . . .

So, the case's closed? Let someone—say, Millie—talk to him and tell him how wrong he was about himself and the others?

Well, here's the thing. Despite him being infinitely wrong about Stolas's intentions, we can't deny the fact that every one of his beliefs was not, in fact, a distortion. It'd led him to wrong conclusions, yes, but it was built on the information he received and legitimate experiences he had in his life. Here are only some of the facts connected to only this situation with Stolas, but there are other problematic behaviors and other reasons for him acting the way he does.

Fact # 1. The circus fire did happen, and Blitzø was the reason for it. Unintentional, and of course it wasn't his fault, but it still ruined the lives of many people—him included. Blitzø cannot act like it never occurred.

Fact # 2. Hell is divided by class and race. Their situationship with the grimoire was an embodiment of that inequality. A lot of Blitzø's outburst during the Full Moon and later in the Apology Tour was connected to it, to his beliefs that Stolas is the same as the rest of the privileged circle. Beliefs, I stress, justified by the real world. Stolas is more of an exception, and even then, his behavior is only different when it comes to Blitzø. He still acts the same toward other imps.

Fact # 3. We knew about Stolas's intentions all along, but before that fateful Full Moon, what Blitzø saw was Stolas avoiding him and not communicating the issue the Ozzie's date had raised. And before Ozzie's? Stolas did act entitled and inappropriate. He was baby-talking to Blitzø and used derogatory terms while addressing him. The dude literally called him an impish plaything in the Truth Seekers.

Fact # 4. Blitzø's heavily implied (though not officially confirmed by the show) existing conditions—ADHD*, BPD**, PTSD, and dyslexia/dyscalculia***—do affect his life, and while Hell seems to be somewhat receptive of neurodivergence, he still has to deal with it every single fucking day. He is going to be avoidant and afraid to be abandoned at the same time. He is going to hate himself. His learning disabilities are going to make his life harder. No way around it.

Note: *, **, and *** contain links to separate meta-analyses from @timkontheunsure and @tealvenetianmask about the respective conditions and how they show themselves in Blitzø's case.

And my beef with CBT here is exactly that. CBT's goal is to gaslight you into believing your distortions hold no water and suggests you just ignore them. And, as I've shown with Blitzø, these reactions and assumptions aren't baseless. They are legitimate, and, in fact, sometimes help to get by. Even though it's a crooked crutch, you can't learn to walk properly by just throwing that crutch away. You're still going to limp, and oh, will it be painful.

This is oversimplistic and dismissive. Anxiety and depression don't come out of the blue, and with mental disabilities, it's even deeper. The class/disability stigma is alive and strong, and just slapping a "you're fine" bandaid on your traumatized self isn't going to help.

Therapy # 2. Exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy is another approach commonly used while dealing with traumatic past and its aftermath—PTSD, anxiety, phobias, and such. Again, if you're not familiar, there's the link for you, but very shortly—the therapist puts the patient in a safe environment and 'exposes' them to the feared object in question for limited periods of time. The goal is to eventually get rid of the targeted fear and decrease avoidance.

And Blitzø has got some phobias for sure.

The fear of letting everyone down. Again.

And the fear of abandonment. Again.

All of it is a result of self-hatred, sitting so deeply it rules his life and his vision of how others perceive him. Said it himself. Almost.

So, where and how does the show expose Blitzø to his traumatic past?

First, the most recent, and the most obvious one—Rolando and his slideshow of all traumatic events Blitzø ever had in his life.

Second—Blitzø's drug trip in the Truth Seekers. While it does not contain the events of the past as they were, it does force him to face his fears.

Are you worried I might have enough of it one day as well? . . . You're going to die alone! . . . You're going to die alone, Blitzo!

With some stretch, the third one is Verosika's 'Blitzo sucks' party. Where Blitzø was forced to see the consequences of his avoidance and rejection.

Note: to be clear, I do think the party does not show the true extent of Blitzø's actions and how much he'd hurt people. It was exaggerated by Verosika, and here I explain why this is the case.

So, what gives? Or, rather, what gives it not?

It might sound funny now, considering I brought it up myself, but I, once again, say this is not therapeutic, just as CBT kind of 'talking.' If anything, all these three events did more harm than good.

The D.H.O.R.K.S.'s goal in the Truth Seekers was to torture the information out of Blitzø. He was not supposed to overcome it. He was supposed to crack.

The Verosika's goal was to ruin Blitzø's reputation. She was working her ass off to prove he's just a heartless freak.

The Rolando's goal was to fucking kill Blitzø.

And okay, their motivations had nothing to do with helping him, but maybe it did, in its own twisted way?

No. The writers added this to push Blitzø past the breaking point, not to heal him, and to show us more of his lore. Each time he was forced to face his past or fears or consequences, he was only spiraling more.

The only thing which did him some good was . . . well, Millie finally seeing his bravado mask falling off. But the cost of it was way too high. Not worth it.

To the therapy's defense, some points why it would never work in the way it was done in the show:

Blitzø had never given his consent and was not ready to face it. I might be very rude right now, but go and try producing some explosion-like sounds in front of war veterans without letting them know first and see what happens.

The amount of fearful experience exposed was way too overboard. He couldn't possibly digest it in a healthy way.

The environment was not safe. It was straight-up retraumatizing, an intentional one.

So there's that.

But what helped then?

We've briefly brushed over the fact Millie did talk to Blitzø. While I did imply this might be an example of CBT, here are some key deviations from the classic therapy which made all the difference.

Millie didn't sugarcoat all the shit Blitzø did. He was hurting their business. He didn't pay her. He was reduced to Bethanie. It showed her opinion can be trusted.

Millie apologized for not being there for him sooner. She admitted she relied too much on Blitzø being bulletproof, unbothered by everything. She admitted she didn't support him in a way he always did.

While proving she could never hate Blitzø, she used their common story, one he knows and can recall. She used evidence to prove him wrong, not a "it's all in your head" bandaid. And more than that, later she proved it with action—not for one second did she believe Rolando and his shittalk about what Blitzø supposedly was thinking about her. Her unwavering faith spoke more than any words ever could.

Getting back to exposure therapy . . . Metaphorically, she reminded Blitzø he can handle a beating or two. And physically beat the infestor demon out of him, which, as we can see later, didn't really affect Blitzø that much. He wasn't even battered. So, apparently, when the said exposure is done by someone who genuinely tries to make you feel better and knows your limits well, it might just work?

And finally, Millie acknowledged Blitzø's pain. She didn't brush it away. She validated him.

What all of this is about?

Like every treatment, too much of a medicine can become poisonous. So are CBT and exposure therapy.

They might help, and lots of research shows they do in certain cases. But there are limitations to what they can and cannot achieve, and they have to be adjusted to each individual story, to each trauma, and they should not be applied as a way to mend the outcome of the trauma without taking into account the story it comes with. Again, legitimate concerns and experiences cannot be brushed away or ignored.

Actualy . . . we've seen where it leads in the show too. In the beginning, Millie was quite dismissive of Blitzø's worries—all of this over a . . . breakup?

And here it comes full circle.

Only when Millie started taking Blitzø seriously, did it help them progress. And look how quickly we've switched from a complete despair to a glimmer of hope! Isn't that a beautiful closing scene?

As a closing note—we do not need to 'fix' Blitzø. After all this shit he went through, there won't be a day where he wakes up and be like, "Hey, I don't hate myself anymore! And look, I'm not afraid to be abandoned or misunderstood!"

I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is a lifelong battle. Being mentally whole, healthy, and constantly happy is no more than a myth, and everyone has their own demons and skeletons to deal with.

What Blitzø needs is some good support system to pull him back when he's down.

And boy, do I hope that one particular owl will fill in that role of unyielding pillar for Blitzø each time our lizard will fall into that pit again. Look, I love Millie, but there's only so much she can do. She can't be always present, she has her own life . . . and her own disaster of a husband to look after (affectionate <3). Here and here @lost-romantique talks about Stolas's capacity of loving, with me occasionally nodding, ha-ha. But to be short—it's fucking immense. And since he loves words, I do believe he has all the energy to tell again and again and again how awesome Blitzø is. Even if Blitzø wouldn't believe it himself.

[this-is-not-a-slow-burn]

This post from the artist, written in 2013, has some very good points.

It’s been many years since I published this, my first poster, in 1965. That’s when my friend Richard Fahrner and I would listen to the depressing news about the escalating ‘Viet Nam War’ while on our way to work at Contact Printing in San Francisco. We didn’t like to hear how our America was getting ever deeper into the deadly quagmire of far off Viet Nam’s civil war. One morning while driving to work I suddenly visualized a jarring poster idea – our flag superimposed with a nazi-style swastika. So shocking it was instantly instructive! Richard was enthused too so after some more discussion among other friends as well I then went on to create this intentionally disturbing self published poster. When I first laid it out and took it to West Coast Lithograph to have it printed; I showed it first to Ivor Powell, the jocular, quick witted English pressman – a man who enjoyed sharing his opinions. When he looked at my design his usual smile faded fast and he said something like this: ‘Wow - Wes you’d better add something else - like maybe “Are We Next?” – or most people just won’t get it!’ My original design contained only the words “Be Aware. However it didn’t take long for me to realize that Ivor had made a very important point. So after those words were added to the artwork I had several hundred posters printed. I then distributed and sold many of them to appreciative Bay Area folks. Back in 1965 when the official U. S. commitment was to further expand the American military role in the ‘police action’ of South Viet Nam I felt it was an important question – and had to be asked. I’m glad I did something to significantly express my shock and anguish as an American about such an obviously erroneous and costly ethical ‘mistake’ as was the Viet Nam War. Today however we have been attacked by ultra-cunning and ruthless terrorists and in response to that horribly destructive day our government was forced to suddenly power up our national security agencies like never before. However, the ‘facts’ about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, that were so widely believed, have now been wholly discredited for all to see. Because of that ‘mistake’ we too rapidly invaded Iraq without thoroughly working out both a military plan and the fuller use of the many normal diplomatic protocols which are so useful in less stressful times such as was done prior to the Gulf War. Such haste has also raised ‘constitutional issues’ about “rights” here at home. Because more practical protocols as well as United Nations involvement were employed and respected by the first President Bush – we gathered a whole spectrum of willing allies who come to our aid in freeing Kuwait using multinational forces. Consequently, due in large part to ‘haste makes waste’ we are now deeply involved in the wasteful horrors of another costly ‘mistake’ - the current Iraq War. However, despite not yet knowing fully just how this all could have happened – we are at war inside Iraq. The Iraq situation is different from Viet Nam and we should strive to leave in grace and avoid the ‘dropping everything and running.’ It seems to me that since we don’t know just how all ‘this difficulty’ came about - the question “Are We Next?” still applies. And, as it relates to continuing the grand open and fair ideals plus continuing on in the hopes and practices of our Democratic Republic – this notable admonition continues for all Americans as well - “Be Aware!”

1965, Wes Wilson

[kinardsevan]

I was totally genuine because I would love your stuff on 911 proper! They're dropping the ball with everything atm, which is so damn frustrating, considering the setup they gave themselves this spring.

Much love! 🤗

Glad for the clarification! ❤️❤️

I can totally understand your feelings. Mine aren’t far off. I waffle back and forth basically by the hour over whether this is all a tee-up and there’s real intention behind it, or whether they truly did give up the best thing that they’ve had in years.

One of my biggest struggles on it all and how it doesn’t make sense, is the active effort to include Tommy/Lou in the social media posts and ABCs use of him in ads as well. I understand that the networks opinion isn’t the end-all, be-all. But I just can’t coalesce all that’s been fed to us to this point, both from a story standpoint, and from the use of Lou/Tommy in the grander scheme at large. It doesn’t make any sense in the narrative, regardless of the ideals that some people have about him being a plot point or “entry level relationship”. One of the quotes I think back on is when Oliver said he wanted to see these two go through the struggles do in their first year of a relationship. That quote alone was one of the things (along with the intentional use of “Evan”) that said to me “people want this to be a short story, but these factors point to Tommy being around long-term”. It goes to the issue that Tommy does not see Evan as “Buck”, when we have already extrapolated that Buck is a mask. We’ve known that since season 3 when he told Bobby that putting on his uniform makes him feel like he can do anything, and “Buck” was a name he took on FOR work. It’s a dignification that creates separation for him from others. By relation, Evan can be as stripped bare and honest as he wants. This is why the use of his first name has always been important. Maddie can see him stripped down and bare, metaphorically speaking, because she knows his trauma. She’s his sister so she gets Evan rights. Eddie used his first name once with the will. In the same context as being stripped down, this was important because he wasn’t communicating with Buck from the standpoint of coworkers, but as a close friend telling him that he had made a decision about the safety and care of his child, should something happen to him. I can’t remember if we’ve ever seen Bobby use his first name, but this has always felt less important because of the father/son narrative.

We’ve seen Chimney throw around “Evan” in weird contexts, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing, so much as they have a unique relationship due to being coworkers, friends, and brothers simultaneously. I think that’s why anytime we hear him say “Evan”, it’s a bit of a play on fucking with him.

So when we cycle back to Tommy, who had only EVER called him Evan, using the name Buck is him forcing himself to create a separation. We also as a fanbase hear that and go “no, that’s wrong, it doesn’t sound right”.

At the end of the day, I cannot reason a fact to build all of this into a narrative (and I do mean ALL of it), include Lou in social media posts, have him be involved in interviews about the show… all to set it on fire 13 episodes after he returns. You’d have to have a damn good reason for doing so, like an actor wanting to leave or being so problematic that they need them gone. Now, a certain group would like for us to believe this, but we don’t have any actual proof of ANY of this narrative. That all said, we have to revert back to what we know and what we’ve been told. Which is confusing.

So. I’ve rambled again. And repeated myself in some contexts 😂 but I think I made my point? (If not I’ll obviously come up with more shit later 😂😂)

[smallishzine]

hey guys thank you for the lovely responses to the interest form, I appreciate everyone calling me handsome and amazing and tall, and also to everyone calling me an idiot you’re in fact correct but guess what you’re the one filling out the form and I’m the one who made it so shut up shut up hahahaha. Sorry. I don’t mean that, please don’t shut up I’ll be very sad if everyone shuts up and I’ll have no one to talk to. This post is to address some of the things that you pointed out as us having forgotten, and we preemptively apologize for burying important info in this mess. It’s like a scavenger hunt! Or bureaucracy. Take your pick.

how humble we are (true, true. So humble. The humblest.)

smallishbeans (I’m fairly certain we remembered this one)

an ego check (yup, still there)

Eefo (you’re so right it’s a crime that we’ve forgotten him we will rectify this mistake immediately)

many variations of “timeline?” which we answered in this post

that you, the form fillers, are tall and handsome as well (indeed)

that one of you was watching shrek 2 as they filled out the form (good job. We approve. Not that you should care what random people on the internet think of your taste in movies, but 👍)

more smallishbeans (it’s like they knew)

how much one of you loves ldshadowlady, sparkle heart emoji (true and real. Only correct take. We also love ldshadowlady)

chicken murder (we decided to put the chicken murder before the form rather than in it, so as not to distract from your form filling experience. We apologize if this isn’t what you wanted, we will be sure to include more chicken murder in future forms.)

A spot for obvious professionals in form filling to rate the form, so they had to do it in the what did we forget box. we received the following ratings: 5/10, 10/10 (< a genuine thank you to whoever submitted this one), 0/10 (:(), 7.3/15, 6/20, and several more

multiple variations of “age limit?” Which we answered in this post

Jeremys blessing (which we actually didn’t forget you stupid idiot haha I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me I promise you are not a stupid idiot even if you don’t finish reading forms before submitting)

that one of you likes shrek but is cooler than us so really the form is egregiously incorrect (egregious is a bit harsh. More, stupendously incorrect! Or, fantastically incorrect! Also, if you’re so cool, why don’t you prove it by participating in the zine huh? Huh? Thought so. 😎)

That I am cool, and I haven’t forgotten but you wanted to remind me (I am mod Dinn and I approve this message)

our epic arson related plan of action for when the ship burns (I’m afraid I have some bad news for you…)

“Can I join??” (yes)

hey it’s you dailyboatboys let you in let you in let you in (absolutely)

other words of affirmation that we greatly appreciate. Everyone who called me cool, handsome, amazing, and other good things or who complimented the form or who expressed excitement and interest in the zine hold a special place in my heart. I read through every response so far and to every person who said that I was really cool, or that they were super excited for the zine, or that the interest form was really good, or that they were so down participate, thank you. Now enough with being sappy back to answering questions, lightly worded hate mail, and people who are also obsessed with Joel smallishbeans!

you’re all idiots (due to limited funds we cannot afford to purchase our own suggestion box, so we are currently borrowing the permit office’s. Did you hear that sound that sounds exactly like sizzling lava consuming a piece of paper with your eloquently worded submission on it? That’s the sound of our complaints department hard at work to remedy this issue. Thank you for filling out the form!)

can you write ships? (This is a really complicated question which we have a lot to say on so we’ll make a separate post explaining more in depth, but the gist is: yes, but that yes has an asterisk attached with a footnote a mile long)

a spot for ideas about what pieces you may contribute, which is actually a good point we’ll probably poll about what things people most want to see/art pieceify (writing is art too) at some point. As for your admission of obsession, gender-neutral-dude, what do you think we are?

these are just some of the responses we received, thank you to everyone who has filled the form out so far, and you haven’t, what are you doing here go fill out that form!!

-mod Dinn

[titanlord231]

Copy of my message to ABC Feedback

Hello ABC Network Team,

My name is (My Legal Name, not for Tumblr's eyes), I am an avid watcher of your shows 9-1-1, Doctor Odyssey, and High Potential. Watching 9-1-1 is actual what got me into watching other ABC shows like Doctor Odyssey and High Potential. I watch them weekly and have been very satisfied with my watching experience so far. However I have a concern over the most recent episode of 9-1-1 that I have heard repeated by many fans of the show. Episode 6 of Season 8 which aired last Thursday November 7th at 8pm Pacific included a break up scene between the couple of Evan Buckley and Tommy Kinnard, played by Oliver Stark and Louis Ferrigno Jr respectively. While I personally saw it as a beautiful break up scene that showed obvious potential for a dramatic rekindling of their romance my issue and many others came with after episode interviews. In an interview with the site Fangirlish, we are told that this scene is a potential final goodbye for Louis Ferrigno Jr's character Tommy. I am unsure if this was a misunderstanding on behalf of the Fangirlish site, a miscommunication from Lou Ferrigno Jr, or the actual plan the showrunners are going forward with, but I do know that me and many fans of the show have found this possibility distressing and off-putting. Many, myself included, have even considered if we wish to continue with the show after hearing this news. This is not something I want, I enjoy the show and the characters immensely and I understand that you as a network don't want a drop in viewership this may cause, so I hoped to bring it to your attention. Before I finish sending in this feedback, I would like to tell you a little bit about what the relationship between Buck and Tommy means for me personally. When I first heard about the kiss between Buck and Tommy in Season 7 Episode 4 of 9-1-1 I was a little confused. I hadn't watched the show since Season 5 and probably would never have gotten back into it without that scene. But that single scene got me back into the show, and binge watching seasons 5 and 6 to be ready for the next live episode. The Chemistry that both Louis Ferrigno Jr and Oliver Stark brought to the show was amazing, and as a queer man myself I was enraptured by a relationship I could see myself in. I do not relate to a lot of gay representation on TV and movies. I do not fit into the classical ideas of what a gay man does or looks like. I am not suave and stylish, or sassy and fashionable like many gay characters on TV are. But in Buck and Tommy's relationship I felt like I finally had a couple I could relate to perfectly. In every awkward flirt, snarky one liner, or genuinely sincere moment between the two of them I saw pieces of myself reflected back at me in a way no other relationship on TV has ever been able to do. Which is why I come back to the show every week hoping to see them on the screen. I hope this has shown you why this relationship has been so important to the show, the fans that watch it, and me personally.

Sincerely, (My Legal Name I Am Not Sharing On Tumblr)

[vaelynx]

This discussion is dearly missing some Uncle Karl, and I say it as someone who isn't even knee deep in theory.

The first thing is alienation. Notice how the discussion above isn't filled with say, car repairmen wishing they could repair hay carts instead, or sailors wishing they lived in the era of rotten rations and scurvy. (Although I fully admit *I* wish to go back to pre-SMD electronics :P)

If you are stuck doing the job of a servant, without even the sliver of prestige and relative prosperity serving the kind of household who could afford servants provided, of course you're not going to be seeing much bad in an era where you'd likely be a subsistence farmer, because work of that nature is inherently more satisfying to a human mind. Notice how people garden in their spare time, but nobody goes to serve rude people as a way of entertainment (except for BDSM enthusiasts)

This brings in a related point that progress as some single sloped line cutting through history is utter bullshit, and for instance, the Industrial Revolution has made most everyone's lives worse for a long while before it made anyone better off. Living in, say, a victorian poorhouse, you could absolutely honestly say that your ancestors say, three hundred years ago were better off than you.

To this also adds a missing element up above and that is freedom as known necessity. Now, I might be misinterpreting this one, so any marxists are free to correct me, but I've always understood it as this: if you run out of your house because it's on fire, that's a free decision, inasmuch as dictated by circumstance - granted, you're not going to be happy at the fire but you don't feel oppressed. Now, if someone aims a gun at you and tells you to get out, I don't think anyone would consider you "free" in this example - you're subject to the will of another. Now, however, if the person aiming their gun at you knew that there's a fire starting *and* that the propane bottles in the basement will blow if we don't get out *now* and so aimed the gun at you... it was as much of a necessity as in case #1 but what changes things is that you didn't know about it. Hence. Known necessity. How does this apply to our topic? The easiest way is that direct comparison between lifestyles with the whole "You live better than kings" is a fiasco for this reason alone. Yeah, a king didn't have a TV set or a flush toilet, but the absence of one wasn't something that entered his mind. (just like I don't spend my days bemoaning the lack of a gizmotator)

Furthermore, this plays an even bigger role for the lower classes. While the situation sucks either way, I'd say it's somewhat more bearable to be hungry because the harvest was shit, than to be hungry because some asshole in corporate decided not to up your wages despite two digit inflation. Now, as per example #3 - it's hypothetically possible that the asshole in corporate is an asshole because he couldn't balance the books otherwise, but you don't know that, and so still feel squeezed. And of course, in things like service industry, most of your misery does indeed come from shitty other people ,either directly or from ways they've actively chosen to make your life more shit (say, cashiers unable to sit in the US)

So yeah, these aspects are quite important, and then there's further issues to go with the previously mentioned positional goods.

Now, not everyone can, indeed, be a general, but the biggest question here isn't so much how many winners does a society have, as much as how many losers. Because there's societies that allow you to be relatively insolvent with dignity intact, and ones who don't, and the second kind will foment discontent and upset. People being rude to service industry workers is a symptom of this - their positional good is that there's someone underneath them yet that they can vent their bile on. But, this goes for general prestige, status etc.

On a complete different end is how some positional goods have gotten grossly devalued, and/or the "market" of them became deformed.

The easiest example here is say, music skill. Easily reproduced music and the breadth of contact networks has, in a lot of ways, killed the positional good of being an "okay" musician. On one side, those with great talent can make it really big, bigger than in a lot of time, on the other, the guy playing a piano at a cafe, or playing a harmonica at the pub has gotten a very shit end of the whole deal, never mind the many many bands whose main claim to fame was that they were local. The same goes for things like writing and relative easy of translation - it's a lot harder to succeed as a "good" (but not great) writer if the works with which you compete are not just from your country, but the whole world (although the niches of the internet have perhaps mitigated this one a little). And so on and so forth, down to how being the most eligible bachelor/bachelorette in your immediate neighbourhood isn't much of an asset in the era of Tinder.

In sum total, while simplistic calls for returning to the past, either from the "left" or the right are stupid, any claim that we're living better than ever is a fig leaf over the fact we aren't even living better than twenty years ago, for most "we"'s probably reading this message, and uncomfortable truths can be discovered by looking into the past.

I think @Earlgraytay has me blocked, though I don't specifically remember having any arguments with them, but I wanted to respond to a post of theirs which asserts that I live better than *anybody* who lived in a pre-industrial society, and I will phrase my skepticism like so:

"If Plato or Alexander the Great or Gengis Khan or William the Conqueror or Leonardo Da Vinci had the opportunity to work at a minimum wage job that they didn't really enjoy until they were too tired to do anything except go back to their apartment to drink and jerk off until they fell into a shallow, stressful sleep before waking up to do it again tomorrow they would definitely do it because that's obviously way better than how they actually lived."

I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't think this is actually obvious.

I'll even say that the more names I add to that list the more facially absurd it sounds.

I don't want to go back to the past and the people who idolize the past are often deeply confused individuals.

But the result of this is a counter-movement which, rather than attempting to figure out what *aspect* of a past society might have appeal, instead simply argues that it doesn't matter because whatever it is could not possibly be more important than Spotify.

And the problem becomes massively bigger if you actually allow people to compare themselves to "Kings" rather than the working class clods of a previous time.

Yes, I live a lot better than a medieval serf. I am really, *really* not convinced that I am living a wholly better life than Gengis Khan or Alexander the Great (Let alone Socrates, Confucious or Leonardo Da Vinci) just because I have a flush toilet.

[nerdygaymormon]

Book Club conversation

I'm part of a small book club that gets together once per quarter. It's mostly LDS men, and the one requirement is these need to be manly books. Trust me, I rolled my eyes at the idea "manly" books.

We've met 4 times, the first book was about an athletic team, one was about World War II, and one was a story of pirates. The book we discussed yesterday was "Them: Why We Hate Each Other--and How to Heal" by Ben Sasse.

It was generally good, it had some interesting ideas. Basically it's a former senator writing about the breakdown of community in the United States, the reasons for it, and working to come back together.

At the end of the night, some of the participants told me I gave them a different viewpoint to consider.

The first was about social media, which Ben Sasse generally pans as making us feel like we're connected but actually these are very shallow interactions. Plus, social media generally isn't good for mental health as we compare ourselves to others who are posting about the best parts of their life, and it also gives us metrics like number of followers, likes, comments, and so on, that we can use to determine how popular we are compared to others. We should log out of social media and instead spend time with the small pool of people around us in order to build deeper relationships

I commented that social media was an important source of connection for me as a single individual during the COVID lockdown and for the 9 months I was homebound by a health issue. While there are studies showing there are negative mental-health effects for teenagers, studies also show the reverse for LGBTQ teens. For them, social media is a way to find other queer people who understand their experience and helps them build hope in their future, they don't feel so isolated. Plus, I have several good friends who I met via social media, they're all LGBTQ+, which underlines the point about the benefit of social media for queer people.

The second viewpoint was about politics and elections. Given we were discussing a book by a former Republican senator, and the presidential race ended just over a week ago, politics and elections came up. One man said that during his life he has rarely voted. He served in the military and knew he would continue serving no matter who won the White House. America is mostly the same no matter who wins.

I replied that I experience politics and elections differently from him and the others in the room. While they feel secure in their "certain unalienable rights" as the Constitution calls them, LGBTQ people are regular discussed and voted on and it is very uncomfortable. The "rights" that they enjoy are still fairly new for me. It was only four years ago that it became illegal to fire someone simply for finding out they're gay or trans. It's been less than 10 years since my friends could get married. Elections can feel scary because the results carry consequences for LGBTQ people.

Being present, sharing our thoughts and feelings, sharing our stories, that is how hearts and minds get changed.

[smoothestjazz]

Games criticism is dead, and it's no one's fault. Speaking as a former freelance game critic, here's the major issues I've noticed recently.

1. Reviewers tend to review based on how subjectively fun the game is, not the objective measures of what the game does for the genre, whether it innovates, does anything new, is well crafted, or perhaps most important: whether it achieves what it set out to do. A good critic should, in my opinion, weigh both subjective and objective factors when reviewing games. This is something the film critics have figured out, but not so with game critics.

This has led to, in my personal opinion, polished mediocrity being lauded, because it's "fun", even when the game is objectively doing nothing for games as a whole, or the gamer in any meaningful way.

2. Reviewers are afraid to give bad scores for two reasons. Firstly, they may personally know the developers (online or otherwise), or are at least in an accessible place for the developers to speak to. I can personally speak to developers speaking to me or about me twice when they didn't like what I said about the games in reviews.

Secondly, reviewers are afraid of public reaction to the review. Developers are still receiving death threats when their games don't meet audience expectations; likewise, a reviewer who isn't a fan of a popular game may also see harassment campaigns. These factors make it difficult for a reviewer to deliver a perhaps correctly earned 2/10.

3. Game reviewing and journalism publications are dying. They're being bought up by big corps, and many are being shut down. This has resulted in a laser focus on the games big sites will cover, and not more niche areas.

(To briefly tangent, I wrote for a wargaming site back in the day. The site did okay but wasn't massive. It was bought by a large gaming publication; soon, one of the few review/ journalism wargaming sites shifted focus from wargaming to Dungeons & Dragons, Magic the Gathering, and Pokemon guides. There are scant few sites that even review wargames left now, resulting in less "professional" articles being posted. Us freelancers don't have the money or necessarily the time to buy and write about the big games of the genre without a site to support us.)

The focus on AAA games by these sites lessens the breadth of what the sites will write about... and lead to less challenging writing about the games. Negative, thoughtful pieces of criticism don't generate clicks as much as guides do; this is a fact I was expressly told by my former editor. This being the case, it's not in big gaming sites' interest to write negatively about games they may be able to write guides for, which would generate more revenue.

In essence, I don't believe games journalism is in currently in a place to contribute anything to the medium. There are too many factors limiting the journalists themselves from being able to actually *criticize* what they're writing about. It is unsustainable in the long term, and I'm afraid the remaining serious review sites will be subsumed into the morass of guide-churning sites that masquerade as "journalism".

[burningdaybreak]

Happy birthday Akito!!

(Disclaimer: This post contains personal opinions, headcanons, and interpretations regarding Akito and content related to him, and is not particularly analytical. Also it may be a bit incoherent and unserious at times... it's a quite lighthearted post.) Hello everyone! Today I am not posting an essay, but rather, a regular post about my favorite character since it's his birthday today. He's a very special character to me, and I wanted to write something to show how much I love and appreciate him... despite how much he makes me suffer in gachas... you evil creature. *coughs* Anyways, let's get to it! Time to talk about my beloved ginger, Akito Shinonome.

0. Why Akito Shinonome?

(I've already talked plenty and very in-depth about him before in The Gay Akito Thesis™, and some things may be repeated here.) Akito is an extremely special character to me; I think I can safely say he's currently my favorite character ever. Back when I first saw him (in a picture with Touya), my first thought was "wow they're ugly"... unfortunately there's a funny trend where, whenever I call a character ugly, they're likely to become one of my favorites of that series. And, as expected, he did. Truthfully, I don't think he's ugly at all (neither is Touya)... but that was my first impression of them; I saw the picture was right after reading the Nocturne Touya's side story conversation, and I didn't expect those designs at all. Although I should say Akito is very much my type of character appearance-wise. Either way, the story was quite gay, and that was enough to get me a bit interested in them... though I wouldn't get into Sekai until around five months later. The first proper content I saw of them was actually Akito's 3✰ card from A Song of Vows For You, Dressed in Pure White! (Touya's first mixed event), and also Akito's line from Vivid BAD SQUAD's main story's chapter 19:

🥞 Oh, shut up already. Don’t go makin’ this complicated. I want to be with you, and you want to be with me as well. And after that, our dream will come true. … Isn’t that enough?

Unfortunately (or not?), this was enough to get me properly interested in him and the game, and shortly after I got into Project Sekai, then started playing the game itself around a month later despite not having ever played a rhythm game before. One thing I regret to admit is that I had a very different first impression of him from what he's really like: I was led to believe that he was a sort of dudebro "no homo" flirt / charmer character, with deep issues and homosexual tendencies... because that's sort of the type of character I often fall for, which makes me mad but that's not really important... Though, technically, I wouldn't say the description is really wrong; he kind of is a bit dudebro, in the way he acts like a teenage boy who tries so hard to be masculine, and also "no homo" for the aforementioned reason and also trying to hide his insecurities and "weaknesses"; he has a charming side, shown as his "good boy" mode, putting on a nice face in order to avoid unnecessary trouble; and both deep issues and, god, absolutely homosexual tendencies. As much as I dislike it, I understand why people mischaracterize him like this: this is more or less the first impression he gives, and I too fell for it (although in my case it was more word of mouth)... but I think people should learn to read and actually get to know Akito rather than to keep mischaracterizing him. But, Akito's writing is sort of poetic, since he gives one impression to people and they assume things about him, but he's actually a different way, and the fact that it happens both in-game and to actual players is funny. I quite like this. I believe he's more or less designed the way he is to appeal to people that like this kind of character, but what I like about Akito is that he subverts those tropes and becomes something much more interesting than a typical charming guy with issues. Upon reading stories, I realized Akito's not as shallow or simple as I was lead to believe... he's actually a pretty complex character and... with many issues. I found him quite fascinating. The fact that he's a character whose entire point is that there's a lot more to him than meets the eye — that he's actually someone who works very hard and is very passionate about what he does, and wants to prove everyone wrong and show that he can actually do and get past what he has set himself to do, is all so good. He will surpass everyone's expectations and show just how amazing he really is. Although I'm repeating myself here, it's very poetic that he has proven me wrong and surpassed my initial expectations... and not just my initial expectations, but he always surprises me with his new developments. He's a character that just keeps growing, with every new focus actually fleshing him out further, and showing just how complex he is. I love it a lot... I love Akito so much.

His character development is simply wonderful. Going from someone who had no skill or talent at all, but still trying his best because he suddenly found something he wants to dedicate his life to, not stopping at anything and always pushing forward, no matter what. In his events, he learns that it's okay to rely on others and how he doesn't have to rush ahead of the people that share his dream; later becoming more clear the power of working with others that share your goal, allowing to create something amazing together; that he is fine as he is and how everyone has gone through obstacles, even those he admires, letting him know that he is doing well; and, after all his hard work and improving so much, learning to trust his emotions and listening to his heart, he becomes someone that is respected by others and even becomes a source of inspiration, the same way that he was inspired by others in the past... therefore creating a chain of inspiration.

Now in his recent event, after finally accomplishing his dream and surpassing RAD WEEKEND, Akito has sort of burnt out; with the grand goal that he had set his eyes on finally achieved, his flame sort of extinguishes. Although he knows what he wants to do next (conquering the world, and singing alongside his partner and teammates), Akito doesn't have something that truly motivates him like surpassing RAD WEEKEND did. But, after a talk with KAITO, who tells Akito that the world is big and that he will eventually find something or someone that makes his heart beat again, like RAD WEEKEND did in the past; and then facing off one of two extremely talented twins and being talked down to for not giving it his all due to his lack of motivation — Akito regains his momentum, not willing to be stepped on by others, and realizing that, as KAITO said, there is so much world he hasn't seen, and his new "motivation" is to keep pushing ahead, in order to eventually find something that motivates him, once again — find a fuel to rekindle his flame, so to say. I mentioned it to a friend the other day when he said that Rekindle the flame is the epitome of Akito's character, but pretty much every event is the epitome of his character; all his development piles up with each new one.

It's just... so good. He has a very cohesive character, both in arc and development, and with each event you learn more and more of why Akito is the way he is. Such a wonderful and fascinating character. I really like how he doesn't give up and just pushes ahead, relying on his instincts and what he feels is right (although not thinking things through sometimes comes back to bite him in the ass), listening to his heart and his emotions. It's also fun how extreme he is, both in the way he thinks and the way he talks, always saying stuff along the lines of "I'll do this until my heart stops beating!"... boy don't be so dramatic. He's passionate, dedicated, true to himself, and loyal. He also has his bad side, such as being reckless, mainly keeping to himself and those he trusts (mainly his partner), and a bit foul-mouthed. His complexity is just so great, a character with a duality both within himself and also with his partner, as I talked about in my previous essay. Speaking of... I haven't even talked about a very important part of Akito's character yet: his partner, Touya. Touya is an extremely important person to Akito, the person that has been there for him from the beginning, always supporting him and walking by his side, no matter what; the one he shared his dream with and who he wanted to reach it with above anybody else; Touya's not just his best friend, but also the one and only partner he will ever have. Saying Akito is in love with Touya (whether platonic or romantic) wouldn't be an exaggeration — from the first moment he set his eyes on Touya, from the moment Akito first heard him sing, he knew he wanted to sing with Touya; then after singing with him, it became clear to Akito: Touya was the person he wanted to surpass his dream alongside with. Even though Akito wasn't actively looking for a partner, he ended up finding someone that he'd forever trust and cherish, until the end of time — always together.

I've already written about it a lot before, but Akito and Touya have an extremely sweet relationship, one of mutual love, trust, and support — with a very close bond and knowing each other the most, they have a connection deeper than with anybody else in the world; they know with just a simple look how the other's feeling or what's going through their head. Relying on one another and pushing each other forward both through mutual support but also a desire to surpass each other, they help each other grow... and that's what being partners is all about. They're the best partner they both could ask for. To say they are inseparable would be putting it lightly, they are pretty much together all the time and do everything together... they want to be together, with each other, no matter what. They're simply made for each other. I really enjoy their relationship a lot. Despite being "simple" and mostly established, they're just very sweet together and, even today, still manage to find ways to have their relationship grow even if it's subtle things. As they individually grow, so does their relationship, and I think that's so great. Have I said yet they're my favorite relationship in the game? Because it is. It's also very cute how Akito has such a soft spot for Touya; many of the things he normally wouldn't do, as he usually avoids contact with most people, are due to him giving in to Touya. And also how, lately, Akito lowkey tries to fish for praise from Touya (as seen in both the historical Let It Ring! Beautiful Sound!'s Touya card's side story, where he sets up a study date with Touya but doesn't need Touya's help at all and wanted to show off; and in Rekindle the flame Chapter 4, where he tells Touya unprompted that he already did his homework), but it backfires and he gets flustered when Touya gives a more genuine and embarrassing response than expected... Man. They're so cute. They make me lowkey mad.

☕️ Akito, you… You actually studied properly…!! 🥞 Whoa--?! 🎤 That smile on Touya's face, I've never seen anything like it… 🍷 He's smiling… 🍌 Wow! I've never seen Touya smile like that before! 🥞 …Well, after surpassing the legend, it'd be lame if I failed…

(^ This could kill a grown man.) Akito has his cute sides, like the aforementioned giving in to Touya's demands and also lowkey wanting to be praised by his partner for doing a good job; he also has "moe aspects", like his moe sleeves (the sleeves of his clothes covering his hands quite often), or how, despite his "scary" and cool appearance, he's afraid of dogs and also likes sweet food (with pancakes 🥞 being his defining food). To finish off, I like how hard he tries despite nothing going his way, and everyone rejecting him at first, and now becomes a source of inspiration for others; and just how much he grows as more time passes. I also like how much he cares about Touya and his other close ones, even if he's reluctant to show it often, especially towards the latter... and so on. In summary, I love him a lot. There's likely quite a few things I forgot to mention, but there's so much about him that I like... Akito is simply a wonderful and fascinating character.

Leaving that aside, I also wanted to talk a bit about headcanons... but my main headcanon for him is Akito being homosexual, and I have a whole thesis written for that. The gay Akito headcanon is just so special to me because, as a gay man myself, I normally view characters I like as gay, and sometimes the headcanon feels a bit forced... but Akito being gay just fits so well into his narrative and story, and I'd say even enhances it, which makes me very happy. He's just... so homosexual to me. It's definitely not canon (it is to me), and likely never will be (although you have to be blind to not notice just how utterly gay he acts), but it's a very important headcanon to me nonetheless. As I always say, his relationship with Touya is not inherently romantic, but goddamn if they don't act like a couple so often; it's just so easy to interpret it as romantic. It drives me crazy. Their extremely close and deep bond, and how much they love and support each other, and their already established relationship by the time main story starts, makes them seem like an old married couple that already knows each other so well and don't really need words to communicate or know how the other feels... and yet, they still have so much room to grow and learn about each other... it's just great. Besides that, I don't have too many headcanons, I'm a quite canonpilled person; but curiously, some of the few ones I have kind of... became actually canon?

Love at first sight Akito — I always believed Akito was the first one to fall for Touya (whether platonic or romantically), and that Touya "fell harder", in fandom terms; and Len's World Link chapter actually showed us the moment Akito first met Touya and, well. He genuinely fell for him on first sight. Again, it doesn't have to be necessarily romantic, but the way he was like "... I can't take my eyes off him." and kept visiting that one place where he met that cool guy that sings really well, looking for the perfect chance to chat with him (and then deliver his lame not-really-pick-up "Hey, you look interesting. Wanna sing together?" line)... very much feels like a lovestruck boy. I don't believe he actually realizes he's in love with Touya until much later, but this was still a very shocking revelation. Love at first sight Akito is real. Cat Akito — This one was mainly based on canon content, as ultimately "What animal would this character be?" isn't that serious, but cat Akito just makes the most sense for him for the many reasons I've explained in previous essays: the "default orange cat" appearance (orange hair with green eyes); the actual orange cat that always appears around Touya and is incredibly fond of it; canonically being afraid of dogs, a trait often associated with cats due to their "rivalry"; nekokaburi, meaning "to don a cat's mask", which has actually been used to describe Akito's "double-faced" nature and being similar to how cats act nice but may actually be mean, and so on. Akito "being a cat that acts like a dog / wants to be a dog" just makes so much sense for him. He lives in a world surrounded by dogs, and the people around him are often dog-like (like An, Ken-san, KAITO, the white boy twins, and arguably Touya), with Akito clashing with and/or respecting them. Despite being afraid of dogs, he respects them and would like to be as cool and strong as them, and so he often acts dog-like or even actually tries to be a dog (such as choosing a wolf avatar during close game/OFFLINE), with cards also showing him depicted as similar to a dog (his Kick it up a notch card's trained illustration). Anyways, sorry, I went on a little ramble: in Rekindle the flame (in one of Kohane's card stories), however, we actually get a character directly stating that Akito's very much like a cat, which is as close as we get to confirmation of Akito being meant to be a cat. (We also got animal assignments for An and Touya, those being dog and panda respectively; along with Kohane always having been a hamster, we now have official animal assignments for everyone in Vivid BAD SQUAD) Technically, the previous times Akito was assigned an animal (like wolf) were he himself choosing an animal, so him being perceived by others as a cat is probably more correct; however, I kind of believe that dog isn't wrong and may even be more appropriate. If Akito wants to be a dog and says he's a dog, even if he's a cat, then he's a dog!! So neither choice is wrong, after all. ... In short: cat Akito is kind of canon now! But it's really not that serious. It's fine to see him as a dog, and if that's what he wants to be, then he's a dog to me. Even if he's actually a cat? Yeah... you're crazy man. And then some minor headcanons, such as AuDHD Akito (people often see him as having ADHD, which very much makes sense, but I think this boy is also a bit autistic; him and his hyperfixation on RAD WEEKEND...), or being insomniac / has a hard time sleeping a whole night without waking up once, or even appearance headcanons like freckles. These are mostly projecting myself a bit onto him, but I believe (at least the first two) make sense for him and fit his character and personality. I mainly like headcanons that have a canon foundation, pretty much.

1. My favorite Akito cards

Next, I'd like to talk about my favorite Akito cards, and what I like about them:

4☆ Inheritance Flame

Wonderful card. The untrained illustration is so bright, and the scene it represents was so beautiful... Akito finally figuring everything out, and being so thankful to Ken-san for everything that he did for him. It's a very gorgeous and meaningful illustration. As for the trained illustration, even though it's not that special for what it looks like (although I still like it a lot), I really like it for the symbolism of "finding the exit" (with FIND THE EXIT being the name of the event gacha itself); Akito finding himself and figuring out that he has to let out his emotions and not be so harsh on himself, and also using how he truly feels to enhance his singing. Furthermore, it also represents how, in the event story, he's the one leading Vivid BAD SQUAD back to their path of surpassing RAD WEEKEND once again after Taiga previously defeated them, and taking the first step to finally holding their event, now that they have a proper plan of attack. The card also symbolizes how now Akito becomes a source of inspiration to others (such as Kotaro in the event itself), his endeavor and all his hard work being an inspiration to others to follow their dreams. Furthermore, I have my own interpretation of Akito's painted nails (which I often talk about, tbh), because it's the first card that depicts Akito wearing painted nails. Considering his relationship with his own masculinity and gender, and often acting stereotypically masculine, but painted nails commonly being considered "feminine" and a thing for girls, I like to use this as fuel for my gay Akito headcanon, and interpret it as Akito becoming more comfortable in how he presents himself and trying out new things, since in BURN MY SOUL he learns to not be so harsh on himself and trusting and showing his emotions more... therefore painting his nails to try being more comfortable and proud of the fact that he's gay, and not viewing it as a "weakness" or something to be ashamed of. (Also that random rainbow in the card kind of drives me crazy. Why is there a rainbow there? How is it forming? There is no water. What's it reflecting from. Just... huh??) Also the costume is great. I look at this outfit and think "Damn... that's a guy gay" (lighthearted, of course). Love the combination of black and orange; the orange really stands out with the fully black outfit. Also those boots are wonderful; between the orange nails (very bold and epic color choice) and the boots, this is peak gay fashion. So, yeah, it's a very beautiful card. I like it a lot.

4☆ A Terrifying Game of Tag

Not much to say about the untrained. Baby Akito is cute. The origin of his fear of dogs... fun scene. Anyways, the trained illustration is very good, I like it a lot. It's just... such a fun card. Akito in his cards has historically always looked "cool" or "handsome" or "intimidating", among other things, but this is the first time he gets a card where the main intention is looking cute... this is a very cute card...! Between the small blush... the fang... the moe sleeves... the puppy... Akito and his favorite food (pancakes), which is also a cute part of him... it's just so adorable. Also, as an extra detail, his choker being shaded blueish in the card. Yeah, why not? It can be a little gay too. Furthermore, there's the fun irony of turning the guy who's scared of dogs into one. Rise as ONE! is all about Akito facing his fear of dogs and interacting with the dog owners of the cast (Minori and Honami... and Rui with his robot dog, I suppose), and the card set turning all of them into dogs. Going on a brief tangent here: people often use this card as proof that Akito is "definitely a dog", but to me it feels more like a joke / funny set than anything. Rather than an actual dog, he's giving more "(cat)guy that has been turned into a dog as divine punishment". This guy is not pleased to be a dog...!! While he's very dog-coded, and it's fine to see him as a dog (as I explained earlier), it's not as simple as "he's a dog and nothing else". That's just wrong. He is more complex than that!!! Though, who cares... he can be a dog, it's not that serious. The only thing to take into account, though, is that if Akito's a dog, so is Touya. That's all. Anyways... costume-wise, it's so wonderful. The outfit itself is very cute, and the small dog tail is really cute. Unfortunately, considering the tail is orange, you can only really use this costume on Akito... that's perhaps the main issue of this card set's costumes. Regardless, I really like it. It pulls off mixing the adorable concept (with the oversized sweater and moe sleeves, and the doggy tail) and typical Akito things (rings and piercings) quite well. Also, the ears are so great; they're available as a common accessory too, so you can use them with any Akito hairstyle (although they'll lack the piercings that are only available with the exclusive hairstyle). Fun fact: Did you know the ears and tail wiggle in 3DMVs? It's so good... extremely cute. In short: amazing card, it quickly became one of my favorite Akito cards. He looks adorable. Puppy Akito I love you.

4☆ A Circle Signaling Our Determination

Well. That untrained illustration drives me crazy. It may not look like anything special, but Touya placing his hand on Akito's shoulder killed thousands. Akito is often (physically) leaning on Touya and touching him, so Touya reciprocating that touch, even if it's as simple as placing his hand on Akito's shoulder, is quite a big moment. Giving and receiving... that's what it's all about. Aun no Beats you're legendary. On the other hand, the trained is... well, genuinely... this is the gayest Akito has ever looked, in my humble and correct opinion. Even leaving aside the gay bar joke (which is quite fitting and makes me giggle), I just look at him and think "wow... that's a gay man". This is a gay man if I've ever seen one (and I have. I'm a gay man myself); I've seen gay guys that look like this before. In fact, I could even say I look like this... perhaps? (Up to debate) Between the fashion style, his (pardon my language) cuntiness, the setting, the details of the card (the partner gems), and, of course, Akito's one and only partner being by his side, this is simply the gayest Akito card ever (to me!) Thematically, it's a pretty good card, too. Celebrating their victory after working so hard, throwing a party at a gay bar, with the militaresque outfits representing how hard they've fought to reach this point, like they were waging a war on a legend, and came out on top?

When it comes to the costume... god, I like it a lot. Perhaps one of my favorite costumes in the game so far. Not trying to sound weird by saying this, but it's such a handsome and attractive outfit. I would totally wear something like it. I like the boldness of the deep pink pants, which look so good with the general dark colors of the rest of the outfit. Also the bright pink (which is Vivid BAD SQUAD's unit color) shoelaces on the black boots are so good. Really enjoy it!! The hairstyle is also really good. Even though most people seem to dislike it (although I understand the point of view of "boys mainly only get short haircuts"...), it's personally one of my favorite Akito hairstyles. It looks cute... also I've seen gay guys with this hairstyle, so bonus points for that. The one issue I have is... it's difficult to separate the hairstyle from the costume, especially the former — I feel the hairstyle doesn't look good with many costumes that aren't this card's costume... but it's okay, it's a great hairstyle regardless. In short, it's a very good card. As a gay man myself, I feel a lot of gay energy from this one (although I do from all his cards... but this one the most, so far!)

4☆ The Reason for the Words Given to Me

Oh, such a good card... the untrained represents a really nice moment from Find A Way Out, where Akito's so happy about learning Ken-san was like him, too, validating his feelings and all the effort he has poured so far, and making him feel better about himself... so good. I also enjoy how in the card he looks like he's on the verge of crying from happiness, and he actually cries over it; although it happens off-screen, and we only learn of it in the side story, where Ena comments on his red eyes (since Akito has a tendency to rub his eyes when crying because he dislikes it). Argh... so good. And the trained... if I were to say everything I want to say about it, this post would double in size. But, in short, I just. Love it. I like the red and blue theme of the card set representing the heart, with this being the overall theme of the event, and a pretty important theme for Akito's character, with Akito clutching the microphone's cord to his chest, where his heart is, to symbolize how music keeps his heart beating; the life and death theme from Kashika and this card, and using it as an analogy of the contradiction of wanting to keep singing but also wanting to give up ("wanting to live despite also wanting to die"); and, of course, Akito's big, genuine smile, feeling happiness as he falls, stopped mid-air... Suspended Animation being the translated name of the song is just so fitting. The outfit is also very good. I'm personally more commonly a fan of simpler and comfy outfits, and this one is just. Very good! One of my favorite costumes in the game; the simplicity of it makes it easy to cosplay / wear in real life, which is really nice. There really isn't much else to say about it, though, it's just very good. Anyways, it's just, genuinely, such a good card; how it symbolizes the event story and the song so well is amazing. Easily one of the best cards in the game.

4☆ The Thirsty Wanderer

Oh goodness. I'll begin talking about the trained illustration this time... it's an extremely pretty card. I'd rank it among the best cards in the game. I like it a lot. The setting is gorgeous (I enjoy desertic areas in games a lot), with gorgeous lighting and composition, and Akito's outfit is really nice... the theme is very good. I also quite like that tiny blue lizard... wonder what it represents, huh... The untrained, however? Genuinely (in my opinion), the best card in the game. The first time I saw this illutrastion, I lost my mind. Like... wow. Much like the previous card, seeing Akito's genuine smile just fills me with so much happiness; it was such a nice moment of the card story, too, where Rin and Len glomp Akito after he recovers his memories and he falls to the ground, and laughs wholeheartedly and is able to relax a bit after experiencing the horrors of his Fragment Sekai (memory loss and raging sandstorm in a deserted world? Wow). Although the illustration is kind of simple, it's just... such a nice card for Akito, someone who is always trying really hard, and pushing himself, and being so rough on himself. Depicting him relaxed for a second, laughing and genuinely smiling is so heartwarming. I also like the meaning of the dandelion, the flower that appears in both illustrations: these flowers are known for their ability to thrive in challenging conditions, pushing through concrete, and returning year after year. This resilience has made them a powerful symbol of strength, determination, and the ability to overcome adversity. This fits Akito so much, it's actually amazing. It's a very good flower choice for him, I really like it...

So, even though the trained illustration is among the best in the game, the untrained is the best, so it's a bit conflicting which to use in-game (it's the untrained 99% of the time though). Anyways, going back to the trained, in this case the costume: it's a very good costume. Even though I'm not too big of a fan of asymmetry, I think this outfit pulls it off well. It fits the theme of a desert wanderer that just wears whatever he's able to wear. Also his headband is really nice. Another nice detail is that Akito doesn't wear his earrings (even in-game, he takes them off if the headband accessory is used), which is really neat. It fits the theme of not being the usual Akito, but rather a wanderer that forgot himself, and is trying to find himself and his purpose once again, so he loses one of his main traits... Oh and don't get me started on the hairstyle... this is Akito's best hairstyle, by far. I have very heated opinions about Akito's hairstyles (not about the hairstyles themselves, but more about the lack of variety in colors despite being the only character in the game with dyed hair?! What the hell, really), and this one is great because it actually changes his hair color, giving it a darker, red-ish color. Sort of burnt hair after being exposed to the sun so long? Furthermore, it just looks really good in general... it fits with so many costumes. Very versatile. I love it (as you'll see soon). Anyways, I extended myself a bit here... it's an amazing card. Overall, possibly one of the best cards in the game (biased? But I'm also always right); great illustrations, great costume, great hairstyle, oh and a great skill... what else could you ask for?

1.1. My favorite costumes for Akito

Following up the favorite cards section, I wanted to show some of my favorite costume combinations for Akito. Yes, 3/4 of them use the FES hair + glasses combination... not my fault it looks so good on him? Either way:

Outfit: Witness of duel, Variant 3 (WTWG Touya MR5 Costume) Accessory: SEKAI UNIVERSITY, Variant 1 (September 2023 Premium Mission Pass) Hairstyle: Over the Wasteland (FES Akito Hairstyle) Really gorgeous. I admittedly only MR5'd WTWG Touya just for this costume color; it's just... so good. Perhaps my favorite combination for Akito. The red and black look so great on him, and the glasses look good on him in general but they really fit with this costume, especially the black variant. Not much else to say here, he's just very good looking in this one.

Outfit: Color the past, Variant 1 (Concerto Touya MR1 Costume) Accessory: SEKAI UNIVERSITY, Variant 1 (September 2023 Premium Mission Pass) Hairstyle: Over the Wasteland (FES Akito Hairstyle) Yet another Touya card that I MR'd just for the costume; I wanted him to match Touya, but I didn't like having them wear the same thing, and this variant is technically Akito's official one (the one that he uses in The first concerto's After-Live). He looks soooo good in this costume, and the glasses are excellent with it. He matches Touya this way. He looks extremely gorgeous with this combination. Lovely. Beautiful. Very gay (affectionate).

Outfit: Fleek vivid, Variant 3 (WL Akito MR5 Costume) Accessory: SEKAI UNIVERSITY, Variant 1 (September 2023 Premium Mission Pass) Hairstyle: Over the Wasteland (FES Akito Hairstyle) For the third time in a row, FES Akito's hairstyle + those glasses. Yeah, he looks so great in them. I personally like this costume a lot, even though people like to bully him for his big shoes. I think they're fine? Anyways, this is yet another combination where I put Akito in a red and black outfit. I think he rocks those colors, haha. He looks very cool in this one. Really like!

Outfit: Notice Suspenders, Default (FES Touya Costume) Accessory: Noble Paladin, Default (WD/Knight Akito Accessory) Hairstyle: Noble Paladin (WD/Knight Akito Hairstyle) Finally, something different! This combination always makes me laugh because a friend called it the "gay best friend Akito" and, it has sticked with me since. So I kinda stole it from them, sorry. I don't use it as often as the others, because I like the FES Akito hairstyle way too much, but it's probably my next most used combination after the previous ones. Always fun to use for the meme reasons. He looks good in a fun way. Though, to be fair, Akito looks good in anything I put him in. 🧡 (debatable, actually)

2. Akito events' commissioned songs

Next I want to give my thoughts on all of the Akito events' commissioned songs; I already talked about all of them (except the most recent one, Fuel) more in-depth in The Gay Akito Thesis™, and I plan to write an essay for Fuel eventually, so don't expect much of an analysis here!

🥞♪ la-dee-la-lee-la-la la-lee-la

CRaZY (CR詠ZY, CReiZY), Akito's fourth commissioned song. I'd say it's the "worst" of his commissioned songs... but that doesn't mean much when you're a 9/10 and the other four are 9.5/10 or 10/10. It's still a great song. All of Akito's commissioned songs are really good. Honestly I don't have that much to say about this one. I like it. The 2DMV is nice and the song has fun lyrics. The more relaxed and fun vibe of the song is quite fitting for the event it came with, as in BURN MY SOUL Akito learns to let loose and relax a bit, and to stop suppressing his emotions and accepting them, and himself. With the 詠 kanji meaning "singing / a song", this song pretty much is... a crazy song; it's basically about Akito letting loose and finding his own tune. It presents a nice contrast to Akito's previous commissioned song, Kashika, and its theme of "wanting to live despite also having wanted to die" — since in CRaZY, he is willing to give everything for music. He fully owns it now. But yeah, I don't have much to say about this song that I haven't said in the past; I like it, it's good, and I enjoy listening to it whenever it's chosen in Multi-Live Rooms.

🥞♪ After following the never ending dream 🥞♪ I’ll find my own light, all over

Gekkou (月光, Moonlight), Akito's second commissioned song. Gekkou is a fascinating song in how it's barely related to the concept of the event, with the event being about Akito learning about, well, the power of unity and how working together and communicating with other people that have the same dream and feelings as you leads to creating something great — while Gekkou is about subconsciously copying those you admire and accidentally becoming a copy of them; or, in other words, about imposter syndrome. It's a very interesting choice for this event considering it's not really related at all, but nonetheless a fitting song for Akito, who so badly wants to find his own light and be something that is admired and respected for what he is. It's also fitting for Vivid BAD SQUAD in general in how they're chasing after RAD WEEKEND and holding an event that surpasses it, but making it something different and memorable — that is, making it their own legend. Furthermore, I personally really enjoy the theme of the moon and the moonlight, and chasing after it, and using the moonlight as an analogy for something that consumes you whole and is always there; something you're chasing after but can't quite reach. As a bonus thing, even though the song is definitely not about Touya, it can sort of be related to him: Touya is very explicitly themed after the moon, and Akito's relationship with him is not simply one of singing together and being with each other, but also of pushing each other forward and surpassing the other, constantly chasing after each other in order to improve themselves — therefore, while Akito's moon is (or rather, was) absolutely RAD WEEKEND, Touya is also that one moon that Akito's chasing after, the moonlight that always shines on him and that he is attempting to reach, in order to be alongside him. Plus, with this song, its jacket, and the event cards being themed after Touya's theme (the moon), and the previous Touya focus (Same Dream,Same Colors) being themed after the sun and sunrise (both in its jacket, song, and event cards), and both songs having Akito and Touya Another Vocals, I feel it's kind of intentional. Anyways, got derailed a bit there — it's a great song! I enjoy it a lot. Oh also forgot to mention the 2DMV itself, it's pretty nice. Hidari's art is really good.

🥞♪ Just like a movie, this is my story.

Cinema (シネマ), Akito's first commissioned song. Quite a classic. I still like it. The, well, cinema and movie theme is really fun; the 2DMV is still great even today; on the other hand, the 3DMV has shown its age a bit but it's far from bad. There isn't much mystery to this song: it's about Akito's journey with music. I personally think the song kind of sounds like an ending or outro song, which is quite fitting for the song pretty much being Akito's story from the beginning, where he's pushing forward despite all the setbacks and everything that goes wrong because he has a dream he wants to achieve; to the end, where the becomes the leading star he has always wanted to be, reaching the top, and retelling his journey. Just like a movie, this is my story. It also fits Vivid BAD SQUAD as a whole, considering surpassing RAD WEEKEND is everyone's dream and they're all working together to reach that goal, and it also ties with the theme of the story of Akito leaning on his teammates because it's not just his dream and they have to work together to accomplish it, and they will always be there for him — but ultimately, the song is about Akito, and how he wants to be the protagonist. With his partner and teammates by his side, supporting him, Akito will become the leading star. It's a good song.

🥞♪ Beat, beat, o heart of mine! 🥞♪ It might be unsteady, but even so, this is my pulse.

Kashika (仮死化, Suspended Animation), Akito's third commissioned song. Oh boy. Kashika is a very interesting case for me because, back when it came out, I absolutely despised it. I just... didn't really like it musically? I'm not really sure why. Some parts sounded fine, but others I absolutely disliked? However, I felt really bad about this for a long while, because Akito's my favorite character, and even though I knew the song was special, I just... couldn't get myself to like it. But, some random day, I decided to read the lyrics... and my opinion on the song immediately changed. I felt so dumb. That was when I decided to start reading lyrics for songs (and then CYBER PUNK DEADBOY fully ingrained that into me... it has funny lyrics). Basically, even though Kashika wasn't my type of song at first, once I read the lyrics, and learned about all the emotion and feelings behind it and all the love that the producer put into it and his story with music... I started liking it, and it quickly became my favorite Akito commissioned song. I love not just what it represents and how it symbolizes Akito's character and story so well, but also the general message it gives and telling the producer's story with music... the desire to keep doing what you love, despite also wanting to give up... and pushing forward despite that... ultimately accepting your feelings and using them to fuel your passion... so good. So, Kashika went from a song I hated to my favorite Akito commissioned song, thanks to reading its lyrics. This is why I now believe it's really important to read everything. However, Kashika sort of got overtaken recently...

🥞♪ Burn more, that's what I was born for... 🥞♪ Burn more... 🥞♪ FUEL IS FOR GOING ON! 🥞♪ BURN! IT DOWN!! UNTIL IT FALLS OVER!!!

FUEL (フューエル), Akito's fifth and most recent commissioned song. This song quickly became my favorite Akito commissioned song. From the first listen, I thought it was amazing; however, it wasn't quite my favorite Akito commissioned song yet. But once I watched the 2DMV, and listened to the full version, everything changed... the 2DMV is simply amazing, I really enjoyed the plane and aviator theme. Furthermore, the 3DMV was really good, too; the lighting and visual effects were great. Although, even though I love the cards we got for the event, I'm lowkey sad that the cards weren't aviator themed after watching the 2DMV... it's like, why? It was a perfect chance to do something innovative with a Vivid BAD SQUAD card set, even if I like these cards. Sorry for the small rant... It's a great song, very Akito-like lyrics; always taking things so extremely and seriously. Burn more, that's what I was born for... he's extremely dedicated and always pushing forward; even if he has nothing currently motivating him, he will keep burning on, and eventually find that fuel that will rekindle his flame, once again (sorry, I'm cheesy). He's such a good character... I love his dedication. Except when he overworks himself. He's a bit self-destructive. But it's also part of his charm? Gotta love characters with issues. Regardless, it kind of overtook Kashika as my favorite Akito commissioned song due to how good FUEL sounds, with it being more of my genre of song, even if, objectively, it's not as deep or passionate as Kashika... but they're pretty close in my rankings, tbh. I love FUEL!

2.1. Favorite Akito Covers and Another Vocals

To finish off the songs section, I'll briefly mention some of my favorite Akito covers: Aun no Beats (阿吽のビーツ, Aun no Beats) — What can I even say... Read my Aun no Beats essay? This song is wonderful. Extremely representative of Akito and Touya and their relationship; I explain it quite in-depth in the aforementioned essay. Read the lyrics! I hope we get the full version eventually. Please. Nene5 is produced by Hanyuu Maigo so... there is HOPE! Never Give Up Coping! Fragile (フラジール) — Quite a classic. They were singing this stuff right from release?! They're insane. Second Akito and Touya-only cover (with no Virtual Singer), distinction shared with Aun no Beats. Truly a special song. Very similar to Aun no Beats in that it sort of represents the break-up period Akito and Touya went through during main story. Read the lyrics. Garando (ガランド, Airhead) — There is something deeply evil going on in this song. My jaw dropped while reading the lyrics. Have I mentioned it yet? Read the lyrics. Seriously. Very insane song. Grew on me a lot after reading the lyrics. I wanted to do only my top three covers but I have to give a special mention to Ame to Petra (雨とペトラ, Rain and Petra); quite a wonderful song too. I really like how it sounds, Akito and Touya sound really good in it. Yet again: read the lyrics. These covers really do something to your brain when you read the lyrics and think how they represent the characters. Also yes they're all Akito and Touya covers

And finally my favorite Another Vocals:

Shunran (春嵐) — Initially released as a full group cover, it got an Akito Another Vocal some time later. While I did like the original cover, the Akito Another Vocal is possibly one of the best in the game. It's just... wow. One of the best things we've gotten in a long time. This song was meant for Akito and I'm so glad he got this. I wish the original cover had been Akito and Touya only, even though Kohane and An sound pretty nice in it and it also fits them a bit, but the Akito Another Vocal is good. If you're a bit crazy like me, you can hear Touya a bit as the background vocal in some parts. I'm not sure if it's just the mental illness or he's genuinely there... but does it really matter? Living my own truth.

RAD DOGS — Touya's first commissioned event song; it got an Akito and Touya Another Vocal (along with an An and Kohane version) less than two months after its release. This is actually the only Akito and Touya shared Another Vocal, so it's extra special. The fact both partner pairs got shared Another Vocals for this song is great. The original version is already really good (RAD DOGS is in my top 3 songs in the game), but the Akito and Touya version is extremely good. The fact my favorite Vivid BAD SQUAD commissioned song has this alternate version is so great... Akito and Touya sound wonderful together.

Mirai (ミライ) — Touya's second commissioned event song; it got an Akito Another Vocal a few months later, along with a Touya Another Vocal. I already talked about both this song and Gekkou (which I'll also talk about in a bit) and what they mean for Akito and Touya in my previous essay, but the fact Akito and Touya got Another Vocals at the same time for this song is great. Truly inseparable. Anyways, this is a very nice song... very beautiful. I like it a lot. And the Another Vocals are so, so good. While I have a weak point for Akito and always use it, Touya's is also quite nice. It makes me so happy to listen to Akito's Another Vocal while thinking about the song's lyrics... ehehe... Read the lyrics by the way... Touya's such a wonderful character. Special mention to Gekkou (月光), Akito's second commissioned event song, which I talked about just earlier. (It gets no MP3 file because there's a limit of three per Tumblr post. Sorry!) Just like Mirai, it got Akito and Touya Another Vocals (at the same time too... inseparable, I'm telling you!). I like Gekkou a lot; it has interesting lyrics, and it sounds so great. Wonderful song. Akito's Another Vocal is amazing, I really like how he sounds in this one. He really slays the song... (?) Also, as an extra part, some songs that I would like to see them get Akito Another Vocals: CRaZY (CR詠ZY) — Please, please, please. He hasn't gotten an Another Vocal for one of his commissioned songs since Gekkou. I'd love this one, he'd sound so great. FUEL (フューエル) — Same as above; I really like this song so I'd kill for an Akito Another Vocal. Will wait (im)patiently for this one. Would add a third one but I don't have a particular one I truly want. Maybe Kinmokusei (金木犀), since Akito sounds really nice in that one. Not much else to say here.

3. Akito relationships

(Disclaimer: Harsh opinions ahead.) To finish off, I'll talk a bit about various Akito relationships:

I don't care that much tbh. ... Do I even need to say anything? I've written so many essays about them. Check them out by the way...! Unsurprisingly, Akito and Touya is my favorite Akito relationship. Although, as I always say, I like this pairing first and foremost platonically, since that's what is presented in canon; however, a romantic interpretation for them makes a lot of sense considering how they act with each other in canon, and I believe is the only romantic relationship that makes sense for either of them. It feels like a natural step of their relationship, something that will eventually happen. They have insane chemistry, pretty much being made for each other, fated to be together. But yeah, this is the only Akito pairing I truly like in a romantic sense. As a canonpilled person, along with my personal sexuality headcanons, it's just the most and pretty much only natural romantic relationship for either of them... to me! (But I'm always right.) Anyways, I'll try to not bring up the romance part much. They have a great dynamic and relationship, and I already talked about it in multiple of my past essays. Even though it's "simple", and some people may find a regular relationship boring, it's just... a very natural relationship, already formed and established by the time the game's story starts, with their most important development happening in the Vivid BAD SQUAD main story itself. They are partners, but they are also each other's best friends. While there is a distinction between partner and best friend (seen in how An considers Haruka her best friend even now, despite also being partners with Kohane; and how Arata was upset at Souma for being called his "best friend"), I would say Akito and Touya are also best friends. They are everything to each other, the most important person to each other, and so on. Blah blah... You're the best partner I could ask for; I want to stand shoulder to shoulder with him for years to come; I'm never gonna team up with anyone other than you!... all that jazz! They want to be together so badly; stay with each other forever. The one and only partner they want to be with; completely irreplaceable; forever together. Never separate. They're crazy.

(I'll take the chance to talk about both An and Ken-san here, since... Ken-san has no other card illustration that he appears in, lol.) Akito and An have a fun platonic dynamic, I really like when they interact. Their bickering and competitiveness and the silly situations they get into are quite fun; they're both dumb as bricks, and it leads to funny moments, like their English classes together. However, it's absolutely ass romantically. It's just not good. To me, that's a gay man and a lesbian. The best I can accept is them trying dating in middle school when they were still figuring themselves out, and breaking up immediately because they realized they're homosexual. It's canonically established that they wouldn't be partners; neither was interested in being each other's partner, they never tried to be partners because they really didn't want to; though they were fine with working together to surpass RAD WEEKEND, since their interests aligned. They simply aren't interested in each other beyond friends that work together, and they are both a lot more focused on their respective partner (and being gay about them). It's just not a logical relationship, honestly. Either way. In short, it's my favorite platonic Akito relationship after Akito and Touya, but I just can't view it romantically in any way ever. It's extremely forced, and you have to actively ignore parts of canon or making up things (whether it's AUs, mischaracterizing, or simply changing canon), to make it work. On the other hand, there's Ken-san. Akito's relationship with Ken-san is really good. He's a big inspiration to Akito, and the one who gave him the dream of surpassing RAD WEEKEND, and so Akito really admires him, and is so thankful for everything that Ken-san did for him and contributed to his life. He's pretty much like a father figure to Akito, the one he couldn't really find in his own father. It's a very sweet relationship... BURN MY SOUL is legendary, really recommend reading it.

(^ This is literally the only card that features only Akito and Kohane... and Akito isn't even shown in full... and this card's from July 2022... that's how bad the state of Akito and Kohane's content together is.) Akito and Kohane is... a relationship that is barely developed. They genuinely barely get content together. Their interactions are kept to a minimum, and there isn't any flavor to them. It's a pretty bland relationship... so a romantic relationship is simply unfathomable; it's utterly forced and unnatural, and most of the time out of character. This pairing relies on mischaracterization and making up content or ignoring canon to make it work. It thrives on delusions. It's very forced, honestly. When even An and Touya, who historically hardly interacted in any way, and didn't get a meaningful conversation until Whip the wimp girl!!, now have more content than you, it's just... so dire. There is nothing in this relationship. Even Mafuyu's aquarium has more content than them. They literally only have their confrontations during Vivid BAD SQUAD main story, Akito barking at her because he thought she was half-hearted, and then her later standing up for herself and proving her resolve during her performance. And perhaps throwaway lines in various events, like Kohane telling Akito that she considers him a friend and will keep working with him during Find A Way Out, or Akito praising her after her solo performance during Kick it up a notch. And that's pretty much it. That's their most meaningful interactions in event stories... but I suppose that is more than enough food for some people? ... However, extreme hate aside, I would like to see them get a meaningful interaction eventually, just like An and Touya did. I expected it to happen in Rekindle the flame, and yet... the most they got is three lines; a "blink and you'll miss it" interaction. Either way, I think their relationship has potential. It could be a fun dynamic, considering their characters and personalities. I would like to see them deepen their friendship... that's really all I can say about them. May you get actual, meaningful content together, one day.

Akito and KAITO have a pretty funny relationship. Akito barely respected KAITO at first when they met in STRAY BAD DOG, finding him to be a man that couldn't really be that good at music due to how carefree and unserious he was, but KAITO turned out to be very skilled, teaching Akito a lesson that he shouldn't judge people by their appearance... despite making that same mistake with Kohane previously... and even though he hates being judged, himself, too... this is what I mean when I say that Akito slowly learns with each event and interaction. KAITO also appears in both THE POWER OF UNITY and Rekindle the flame, where he gives advice to Akito and shows him that, sometimes, the simplest answer is the solution; contrasting with Akito usually missing the big picture due to focusing on something (he's a quite stubborn boy). Akito starts slowly warming up to KAITO with time, realizing that, even though KAITO annoys him, and is very carefree and quirky, he gives good advice... occasionally. KAITO's actually my favorite Virtual Singer, and the VBS version is especifically my favorite KAITO in Project Sekai, so I'm quite happy that he interacts with my favorite character often. As an extra note, the area conversation between KAITO and Akito that came with Rekindle the flame was hilarious; I recommend checking it out. Overbearing, cheerful dog trying to get that grumpy cat to go along with him... so fun.

Akito's relationship with the Kagamine twins is fun... they're like his little siblings. He plays soccer with them and teaches them things like a big brother would. It's pretty cute. I really like Akito's FES card story, where Akito gets thrown into his Fragment Sekai forcefully and loses his memories, and the Kagamines follow him while he recklessly pushes forward, despite not remembering anything about himself at all. When he finally recovers his memories after recalling the words his partner and teammates told him during STRAY BAD DOG, the sandstorm clears up, and the Kagamines jump at him, happy that he's back to normal. This makes him burst out laughing, genuinely smiling alongside them. It was a really cute moment. There's also BREAK DOWN THE WALL, Vivid BAD SQUAD's World Link event, where the Kagamines explore the new Street Sekai area alongside Akito. I liked how they kept praising him and telling him that he's so cool for how far he has come and everything he has accomplished, since it's not something that just anybody would be able to do. This makes Akito compliment himself, for once, now able to accept his feelings and be kinder to himself. He's a cool guy, truly. A fun fact I quite like is that, canonically, the Kagamines manifested in the Street Sekai after Akito and Touya met for the first time... they're pretty much the physical representation of Akito and Touya's partnership. They were so crazy about each other and felt such a deep connection right off the bat that they spawned the Virtual Singers whose very concept is being two halves of a whole and being inseparable and always together. Which is kind of insane. The Kagamines are pretty good and fun... I like them. They bring out the big brother side out of Akito.

Similar to KAITO, VBS Luka is a pretty carefree and airheaded character. Although she interacts with him less than KAITO does, her interactions with Akito are pretty fun. The fact the Virtual Singers that have been in his unit events so far have been the carefree ones is funny, since they're pretty much the opposite of him, who's so reckless and stubborn. They provide a contrast to his character and also show him that people shouldn't be judged by their personality and appearance, since they're both quite talented despite how they act. When it comes to her interactions with Akito... she's not very good with expressing her thoughts, as the advice she tried to give to Akito during BURN MY SOUL was quite incomprehensible; but through her singing she was able to give Akito the advice she wanted to give him, which I quite like. Communicating through music... so nice. Her advice was vital for Akito to release his emotions and accept himself, so I'm very glad about this. I also liked how worried she was about Akito when he got into a fight with others during Find A Way Out, immediately rushing to Touya to call for help. Like a worried big sister... Truthfully, I don't have that much to say about Akito and Luka's relationship, but I felt I should add her because she has been in two of his five unit event focuses (the other three being KAITO). I like her dynamic with him because of the opposite personalities, so I would enjoy if she gets more interactions with him in the future.

Finally, there is Akito's sister, Ena. They didn't have the best relationship at the start of the game, but it has since warmed up a bit... although they still bicker like any pair of siblings would. I feel like they're the most realistic and relatable depiction of siblings out of all of the ones in the game. I quite like them. Something I particularly like is that they're quite similar, something that they probably hate (haha): from their taste in food, with both of them liking cheesecakes and pancakes and hating carrots; to their resolve in achieving their dreams despite their lack of skill and talent. They both have something that they want to improve and excel at, inspired by their own family members: with Ena giving the push to Akito to actually try music, despite his own doubts on whether he could take it seriously and dedicate his life to it; while Ena was inspired by their father and his work to pursue art, too. The main difference, however, is that Akito found someone (Ken-san) that motivated him to not drop his dream, teaching him to listen to his heart and do what he wanted to do; while Ena did not have such a motivational figure, and the one that was supposed to lead and support her (her own father) instead told her to give up on it and act like a terrible father figure, effectively ruining her life for a handful of years. I find the Shinonome siblings' relationship quite interesting in how, despite their hardships and bickering, they still support and watch over each other — the support and care that they couldn't find in their own father, who was supposed to guide and protect them, and instead sort of neglected them and even made their life worse, especially in Ena's case. There's a lot more things I could say about them but, basically, I like them both a lot. They're both in my top 3 characters, and they have a very interesting relationship: with each other, with their parents, and with other people, too. It's very interesting to think about their similarities, and the parallels in their storylines... they both need therapy I think.

To finish off this section, I would like to talk about some minor Akito relationships that I feel didn't warrant their own section, but that I still quite like: Tsukasa Tenma — They have a pretty funny dynamic and there is always some situation going on when they are both involved. I enjoy when they are in events together (which is actually an unpopular opinion for... many reasons, though I understand why others don't like it). What I like about them is that they're actually very similar people; it's sort of like, their core is the same but the personality varies. And their personalities clash despite being quite similar. I would actually like for them to get a slightly more serious event together because of that, although their silly shenanigans are fun too. Mizuki Akiyama — Similar to Tsukasa, they have a funny dynamic, with Mizuki often teasing Akito and calling him "otouto-kun" (little bro). They don't interact in events as often as Akito does with Tsukasa, however, but they still get into fun situations, like in The Gentleman Thief's Thrilling White Day!? and their chocolate factory visit turning into helping Tsukasa with his acting role. As Ena's little brother, considering how close Mizuki and Ena are, they have a quite interesting relationship. Would enjoy seeing them in events more. Airi Momoi — Despite technically having been acquainted for a while now, since Airi and Ena have known each other since little, Akito and Airi don't interact that often? Which is a shame. They are actually very similar characters (with Chase my IDEAL IDOL! being for Airi very close to the development Akito got in BURN MY SOUL), and it would be nice to see their actual interactions together. Something like a cat event would be nice... (personal wish) Nene Kusanagi — Pretty fun; it's funny how Nene is intimidated by Akito and how he changes between good boy personality and his actual personality. They're classmates now so they'll probably get into situations together more often. I hope they get more events together; Close game/OFFLINE and The Best Picture Wrap! were both quite fun.

Also, here is some relationships that I'd like to see happen eventually and/or for them to get more content together with Akito: Shiho Hinomori — I think they'd make a pretty fun duo; the interactions Shiho has had with Akito so far were entertaining (such as teasing him for being afraid of the zombie wolf disguise during Scream!? Welcome to the Wolf Forest!), and seeing that they're similar people, it could make for a fun event. As a personal wish, I would like to see Akito try playing Shiho's bass... bassist Akito is a dream of mine. It will happen. I believe in it. Mafuyu Asahina — Technically they've already been in a few events together, but their interactions weren't that deep... Considering they both have the "good child" facade thing, it could be entertaining to see what would happen if they were put in an event together where they genuinely interact. It's fun to think about. She and Akito are my favorite characters, so I would like for them to get content together eventually...! Although I mention just these two, I would like for Akito to interact with pretty much everyone that he hasn't interacted with yet; let him make new friends! I want to see new and fun interactions!! The recent mixed event Work Out and FLY! Muscle Training! was pretty good, since he interacted with Haruka, who he hadn't really interacted with before; and also, before that, with Honami in Rise as ONE!, leading to fun interactions with dogs.

4. Showing off a bit

To end this post, I'd like to show off a bit my Akito stuff:

This is my favorite custom profile. It's actually animated but Tumblr posts only allow one video per post so... yeah. Oh well. I'm pretty bad at custom profiles, but I put a lot of effort into this one and I'm quite happy with how it looks!!

My current Akito Character Rank... he reached 90 right on his birthday. I'm very happy...!

My highest Akito Kizuna Rank. Is this any surprise? Hopefully they hit 55 by the end of the year. My goal is to get Touya to CR66 and then their Kizuna Rank to 66 for that sweet Akitouya stamp.

And finally, my Akito lim card collection. (It's all of them!!) Eventually I'll MR all his birthday cards to MR5, I promise... when I have lots of spare pink fragments.

5. Conclusion

And that's it for the post! I love you Akito. You're such a wonderful and special character. I would die for you. Stop being mean to me please. Happy birthday, my beautiful son!! : ) Anyways, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this. It's a quite lighthearted post this time, to celebrate my favorite character's birthday. I will probably write an actual essay sometime soon, so look forward to that!!

[autisticexpression2]

I'm not 100% on the same page as you but your nicknames for everyone are sending me.

You have to put this in cultural/historical context. This is 1950s Thailand. People didn't just be gay back then, and respect for elders, especially elder family members, was and still is very important. I see what you mean, but I understand why Anin felt like she had to apologize to "Patricia," and I appreciate how Pat apologized to her and said she admired her courage. They ended up in a bit of a Canadian standoff there.

I don't think Pat was actually telling "Penelope" to die. I think the subtext there was "girl, my gay ass held the lifeless body of the woman I love in my arms. You're going to live." It was awful, but she has a lot of gay trauma of her own to unpack, and I'm looking forward to seeing where that goes. It has been well established that she is remorseful for putting Pin through that, and the only reason she hasn't apologized yet is because she's ashamed to face her.

I don't think Pin is dumb. She isn't being entirely rational with Anin, but the heart isn't rational. Irrational insecurities do come up in relationships irl and it's really refreshing to see a TV couple actually talk through their issues instead of dragging out stupid drama for the sake of it.

Only one episode left, and I genuinely have no idea how exactly it's going to end. One thing I'm predicting is Pat finally breaking and revealing The Truth about her gay past. There had to be a reason we were shown that beyond humanizing her motivations.

The Loyal Pin - Episode 15

Before I actually began this recap, let me just bask in Patricia freaking the hell out when Kuea's pregnant wife, who she was warned about, actually shows up to the wedding she forced onto Pin.

Well it if isn't the consequences to your dumb ass actions, Patricia!

LOOK AT HER!

Oh shit! And now Pin has passed the hell out! I knew a girl in high school who would pass out whenever she got in trouble, and we all thought it was a medical condition at first, but one time, she passed out on the band field during morning practice, yet fell in such a way that her flute didn't get damaged, and the entire band spread that news like wildfire, so I, a kid who would NEVER be caught dead near the band hall, heard about it by second period, and homegirl was roasted accordingly in fourth period Stats when someone told her to pass out before the test so we could get out of taking it but to make sure not to damage her the calculator. Point is - Pin is band girl. This is triflin' behavior. This is not a medical condition.

And Prik is just rubbing salt in her wounds. "Anin was fighting all the way until the bitter end for your love, but once she realized you were still going to marry a man who had a whole ass pregnant wife, she decided to go to the beach instead of attending your dumb wedding"

I really disliked Aon at the start of this show, but now her faces with Anin on this beach trip are amazing because Anin is going through it, and Aon is just like, "You wanna put some cucumbers on your eyes since you've been crying so much." She is helping, but also judging, and I like that.

This is what a true ally looks like. Shit was going DOWN in his palace, and all he could think about was telling his sister.

Take notes, Anon! Ya sloppy!

Look how happy a Blue Beauty is when her girlfriend's wedding is stopped by the pregnant woman nobody would believe existed. She is smiling for love. I'm smiling for spite.

And Pin is wearing Anin's color as she, too, looks up at the sky. Glad Prik's little guilt trip worked.

PENELOPE, NO! NOT AGAIN, GIRL!

Okay, existential crisis Barbie. Quit being so damn dramatic.

Penelope planned to go through with that wedding, yet is acting all sad because Anin didn't immediately rush back to her. BARBARA! YOU'RE DOING TOO MUCH, SIS!

And now Patricia is wearing Pin's color to show she cares. You know what would show she cares? Her actually apologizing TO PIN! Her saying "sorry I fucked up and told you to die" or something like that. Doesn't haven't to be those exact words, but anything would be better than the NOTHING she is doing right now.

Penelope always has a dream about Anin leaving her or DYING, and even in her dreams, Penelope is too damn dramatic. ¡Cálmate, güey!

Wait. Is this green or orange? Someone needs to get the colorist on the phone because night time does not make a dress an entirely different color!

But the entire scene is beautiful, so the colorist made some decisions, and I cannot say they were bad decisions.

Anin laughing while Penelope is in pain is food for my petty soul.

Because Penelope is too smart to be this dumb! How did she not realize that Anin was upset that she was marrying a man and moving that man into her palace? Anin TOLD her that, but did she think Anin was joking? WTF, girl. Shut that pretty mouth of yours. I've heard enough stupidity come out of those beautiful lips for a lifetime.

Now Anin is laughing at Penelope in the house! Thank goodness because Penelope is still wildin' with these ridiculous questions! She knows nothing happened between Anin and these other women because she HEARD Anin crying about her MARRYING A MAN, yet has the audacity to pout. Penelope, just pass out again, so we can stop hearing you say irrational shit.

Anin is wiping her down with a blue towel *wink* but the green/orange dress is throwing me for a loop, so I cannot properly enjoy this.

For two chicks that just got back together after shit hit the fan when their relationship was exposed, they do not have any sense of self-preservation. Standing out on the balcony hugging each other after having sex is a choice. The wrong one.

WHY IS ANIN APOLOGIZING TO PATRICIA?! And why hasn't Patricia apologized to Pin?! And why is Anin still wearing green?! She is not a Green Girl! There is nothing chill about Anin!

There is one episode left and I need Patricia to apologize to Pin and for Anin to wear pink for her Pink Person because Pin is struggling with her color still. Quit playing with my emotions, show!

This mama is scared. She has me convinced that the closet is better than telling the dad. I'd listen to her, but Anin would never because she has no chill; therefore, she is not a Green Girl. GET THAT COLOR OUTTA HERE!

At long last, we have made it to the final boss. I don't play video games, but if this is anything like Kirby, shit's about to get messy!

But I know all will end well since Anin still has to wear pink to solidify her love for Pin.

Or this really will be the final stage of Kirby.

Pink. On Body. NOW!

[kasumingo]

Im going to fucking rip the next person who eats or drinks something loud to fucking PIECES

[spacedlexi]

people dont talk enough about how heartbreaking the marlon betrayal mustve been for clem too,,

this dude saves the life of her and her kid. takes them in has them patched up gives them their first hot meal in who knows how long. gives them a safe place to stay. possibly permanently. confides in her that hes trying to be a good leader but feels like and fears that hes failing. asks her to help him take care of the rest of the group. helps her get over her fear of dogs by asking her to trust him. and things go well. she feels safe. like this place could really finally be the home shes been looking for

but as soon as she finds out what happened to the twins. that marlon planned on giving up her and aj too. she immediately becomes a liability to him and he attempts to kill her for it. locks her in the basement to die by walker. then tries to turn the group against her so he can shoot her instead when the first method fails. and he nearly succeeds

then a majority of the group turn against clem the minute aj kills marlon. ignoring marlons mistakes but condemning aj for his. like clem wasnt betrayed by marlon in the exact same way he betrayed the twins. like she literally wasnt almost killed twice? and how long had he been considering giving her up? was it always some contingency he planned? did he truly want to keep them around and things only changed when he feared the raiders had returned? she'll never know