#no one cares about this but. im not a native English speaker so i only kinda knew what 'gash' meant

[alpacacare-archive]

*sees gasters sprite or a drawing of him*

Haha funny grandpa

*remembers 'the gash weaves down as if you cry'*

[bmpmp3]

for the past couple years ive been slowly. slowly learning beginners japanese and its very fun and im enjoying it a lot but also it has made me painfully aware in ways i wasnt before of how much my specific vaguely ontario accent makes me make out sloppy style with my vowels. i am going at those vowel's tonsils. i am doing things to diphthongs you wouldnt even believe.

[strwbrymlkshake]

I don't think I've ever been in a relationship this healthy before I don't know what to do 💀

[fivenightsatcorans]

i cannot go to france and study there i will fuck up so bad. i’ll get shredded

[katiascraft]

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ "Maybe i should've told you i miss you. But i don't know if you feel the same" | OP81 ✧₊⁺

parings: oscar piastri x singer!reader

summary: your insecurities lead to lose the love of your life, but destiny always play its worst (or best) cards for you. in the aftermath of it all, two souls become one (again). or that's what you'd like.

inspired by: gracie abrams music ⤦

⟢ ‘almost said I miss you’ EP: tracklist

➥ track 1 - mean it

➥ track 2 - stay

➥ track 3- I miss you, I’m sorry

word count: 6k.

warnings: angst. and a little fluff. mentions of insecurieties, trauma and depression. not a native english speaker so there could be (so many) erros. not proofread.

MASTERLIST

「 ✦ The ticking clock ✦ 」

You took a deep breath. Your hands were shaking and your stress levels were at their peak.

“You are always picking fights, y/n. I'm tired, "Oscar said, clearly annoyed. Is not that you always fought or had a toxic relationship, no. but lately, things got harder between you two. Stupid fights now and then. Dead silence that creeps you out everytime. Coldness was the new dynamic you had going on. And it hurts.

Everyday hurts lately.

“Oscar, I'm not always picking fights. For fucks sake, just wanted to know why you are so cold all the time to me!” you didn't want to raise your tone but desperation never took the best out of you. He was shocked, his head disapproving. Probably done with all of this. Done with you. You didn't want to admit it but maybe it was true. 

“I'm not being cold to you, y/n. I already explained it to you: I'm tired. My job it's complicated enough to come home to be even more complicated. Just stop” he said leaving the kitchen, leaving you behind hanging in your words. That made you so you followed him down to the living room. 

“Oscar, don't leave me talking alone, please! Why do you always have to run away? I have feelings actually you know? I would love to express them to my lover so we can have a proper conversation, what do you think about that?”

“y/n, bullshit. Don't act like I'm a monster who doesn't listen to you. If i didnt we wouldn't have this argument. Stop playing the victim for once. You don't hear me out either anyway” he gritted his teeth trying not to follow you down with your anger. He didn't want to raise his voice towards you. 

“Playing victim? You're an impossible oscar. I only asked you a fucking question, what did i do wrong for you to ignore me and act so cold? And you said you're just tired and that's bullshit” you were so angry by now. Offended. Hurt by his words. Hurt by the fact you were happy once and now everything is falling apart. You never hurt this deep before. 

“It's not!” he couldn't anymore with all of this. He didn't want to raise his voice but you made him feel exasperated. “You see? You don't trust me! Im telling you im just tired and you say its bullshit and then you play the victim card that i dont listen to you and im a fucking monster? I see how things go now. I'm done” he didn't even want to look at you. He just sat on the sofa looking at the floor. But you heard what he said under his breath. What you were most scared of what’s happening. 

You started crying out of desperation, anxious that all of this was gonna end right there and then. You just left him there and went back to the kitchen as if that way he wouldn't see nor hear you crying. You just couldn't keep talking or being around him. Your heart was sinking.

He sighed frustrated and stood up sprinting to his studio and banging the door. You gasped hearing the door closing so violently. No that he noticed what he said. Nor that he cared you thought he didnt care you anymore, that was for sure. 

(...)

You haven't talked to Oscar since yesterday. He didn't sleep at your shared apartment. He said he didn't want to see you. That hurt a lot. Your heart was already broken. You didn't know what to do anymore. You've been on this rabbit hole for several months. You didn't understand what broke between you or when it was. You felt confused, lonely and scared. What would your whole life be without him? Once, you only wrote love songs because what you felt for him was beyond what your body could handle so you needed to take it out. Now, you didn't write anything for months. You felt too much sadness, it felt like you didn't feel anything at all. Just emptiness. 

You were playing with your food, not really that hungry that you thought you would be. Another night alone without him. Would life be like this when he gets rid of me? I don't wanna leave. 

The doorbell rang. You frowned, not sure who it could be knowing it was almost 10pm and I couldn't sleep (just as yesterday and every time you had an argument with him). You looked through the little visor of the door seeing your boyfriend was back home. But telling from the look on his face, things wouldn't be better anyway. You opened the door after taking a deep breath not sure if you would survive another fight. 

You two just looked at each other for a few seconds. Probably analyzing how you were feeling now that 2 days have passed by. Neither of you smiled. Not that you had the energy or a reason to anymore. You moved from the door so he could get into the apartment and closed the door once he was in. 

“Did I wake you up?” he asked quietly. You swallowed hard not knowing what to say by this point.

“I can't sleep since you are gone, so. No, you didn't” you didn't want to sound cold, especially after you fought because he was acting like that with you,but you felt like shit and didnt have energy to pretend you were okay with it all. You felt miserable. He nodded without saying a word and looked at the floor for a moment. 

After a moment of really uncomfortable silence you broke it with something you didn't even think would slip out your mouth “are you seeing someone else, oscar?” your words cut through him as if they were sharp glass pieces just thrown directly at him. 

“What?” He was surprised and hurt that you thought about him like that. You shrug.

“I mean, it's not that you don't kiss me anymore, so.and i think you're not tired because of your job, i think you're just bored of me, tired of me, done with me” you sat on the kitchen table again. He followed you there but stayed standard. He was confused and hurt now. 

“When did I ever say that to you?” he was tired of all of this, for sure. But he wanted to make things work with you. He just didn't know how to.  It was hard for him to understand you, but he was trying. He finally sat in front of you staring at your plate. It was full, you kept playing with your doodles, pretending to eat like you used to. He felt so guilty for all of this. He knew at that moment. That he broke you. He didn't know how or when but he did. His face softened in sadness.

“You said it. You said you were done and you know what? I get it. I mean, it's not as if I am easy to love. I know I'm complicated and a pain in the ass for everyone so I wouldn't be surprised if you found someone else that makes you happy for real and you don't wanna tell me out of pity. I'm ready to hear it though. Just say it” your voice was empty and plain no emotion detected just numbness. He didn't want to think it was too late. It Has been a long time since he has seen you like this. At that time it wasn't him who made you feel like it. 

“I didn't mean to say it, y/N. I Was tired because of work and fighting with you. I don't like fighting with you. I wanna make things right, please. I wouldn't ever do that to you, you know it” he explained desperate for a moment. He wanted you to believe him. But your face didn't say anything. He couldn't read you and made him scared. You looked unbothered, way far gone now.  

You shook your head “i know you mean it and i know you are tired, but i don't think you really want to be with me anymore” your sincerity cut like a knife in both of you. Like, you over thought a lot about it but it still hurt. He was lost and didn't know what was going on anymore or was going through all of that. “You didn't deny it either” you continued.

“I'm not with anyone else, y/N, please” he cut you off with his deep voice, kind of cracky now. 

(...) 

You just didn't know how you ended up moaning his name once more. His mouth is in your centre. His hands are grabbing your tights. Your fingers on his hair.

How easy is it, right? To love someone. One moment, you destroy them.. Then, you fix them with makeup sex. Making them see the stars so they forget how shitty things are. So that pleasure it's more important than gentle affection. Always pretending to be sane then doing insane shit like this as if memory didn't exist when it came to you and him. As if feeling him inside you was the only thing that could fix your mind. That it was the only way to communicate properly. As if it was your love language, then ignore each other. 

His hands of your body grabbing you as if you were about to break and he was trying to keep all of your pieces together. As if he could save you or your relationship that was already 10 feet down buried. He would like to think sex could fix it. That it was the best way to communicate if then you didn't trust him. He was hurt and you didn't trust him. You were hurt because he didn't love you anymore. Unfortunately, your minds couldn't agree. You were the love of his life, he wanted to help and make you trust him. But you just didn't, you already convinced yourself he didn't love you anymore and that everyone was better than you. He wanted a team when you just wanted to run away from him. Or from yourself?

「 ✦ Destruction ✦ 」

“I'm done with you for real, y/n! Everytime an important day comes for me, you just like to ruin it!” He was mad as hell. Fed up with all your bullshit. 

“You really think I do it on purpose? oscar! “ He left the room so you started following him around your shared apartment. “I wouldn't if you didn't ignore like you always do! I don't know what to do anymore! Nothing seems enough for you!” you started crying out. Your heart couldn't take it anymore and this time it felt different. So much different than any time before.

“Why is it always my fault? Why am I always the one doing something wrong? The only thing you do is complain about me and then you just want me to kiss you?! You are insane!” His words cut you deep, so deep you thought they cut you in half and you were nothing anymore. You couldn't breathe for a moment. He called you insane just the way your parents made you feel your whole life. Maybe they were right after all. You deserved all of those years in a psychiatric hospital. You deserved even when he

 was the first one to say your parents were monsters and you were more than okay. More than normal. More than lovable. How ironic, right?You wanted to laugh but couldn't. You just couldn't move. 

Oscar realised what he said. He knew when he saw you. He felt terrible at that moment.

“Look, y/n i-” you cut him not wanting to listen to him anymore. 

“Dont talk” you said shaky under your breath. You had to sit down on the sofa because you felt you were about to faint. In shock - a lot of moments of your relationship replayed in your head. How could someone who said he loved you more than anything and anyone, end up thinking just as your parents? It was your fault. Of course it was. How could you ever think someone would love you? You were miserable. How can someone love a miserable person? 

Oscar started breathing heavily and he had to sit on the floor trying to calm down. He is always so collected and rational, these kinds of feelings he had never experienced, not even with his ex. 

“We can't be together Oscar, I make you miserable. And you're right. I'm insane, how could someone love me right? No one wants to deal with my bullshit, not even myself” you said quietly. His throat closed for a moment. He remained in silence for a few seconds processing your words. You didn't look at each other, you couldn't. Guess this was it. How sad, right? Oscar started crying realizing what was about to come.

“I promise y/N, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it that way. You aren't hard to love, actually the opposite. But yeah, i don't think this is working for us anymore whether i like it or not” he said wiping his tears away of his face as he could. 

You nodded even though you didn't hear a word he said. It was over. Your life is over.

「 ✦ time heals it all, right? ✦ 」

It's been exactly 8 months and 25 days since you and Oscar were not together anymore. Yes, you had a countdown. You created it to see how far you’ll survive because you didn't believe you would last this much. You thought your life was over and for a few weeks it was. You didn't get out of bed. The break up depression, i guess. Your friends suggested you go back to therapy because they were really worried about you and your mental health. They knew how much Oscar meant to you: he was your everything. And to be honest, that was your first mistake going into the relationship with him. 

You shouldn't have made him your everything because you were nothing suddenly when you left. You didn't know who you were without him, what you liked or what you would like to be. All of your future plans had him in them. There wasn't a future without him. He was everywhere in your life. You shaped your destiny around him. You wanted to get married and have kids with him. And you never wanted to be a mother but he had changed that until he was gone. 

You couldn't go back to dating. You tried but failed every time. You were a little too afraid to get hurt again. You had to work through your insecurities and traumas first. There was a lot of your history that needed to be let go. You needed to go through really ugly times in your past to find some perspective. Forgive yourself, putting yourself first, understanding yourself. You just worked on knowing you and becoming the person you always wanted. 

And you grew and changed so much. You felt proud of yourself. You started writing again. Creating was the best way to mourn your relationship with Oscar alongside your old self that left him. To mourn that part of you that is gone forever. Creating was what kept you sane all this time. What brought you back to life. You wrote so many songs about him. Blaming you, blaming him. Blaming the universe for not putting it easier on you. 

So music, once again, saved your life. 

Oscar’s life changed drastically. Not only by the fact he didn't have you anymore on the paddock to cheer him on, but also he didn't have you in his apartment to share his life with. He missed you everyday he woke up to an empty bed. Mourning what you had changed him forever. He blamed himself for not knowing how to get to you, how to understand you and be able to help you through it. So he started reading about psychology to learn how to understand people better. He wanted to improve his emotional intelligence. He knew that maybe you wouldn't be there anymore, probably forever, but at least he could be better to the people around him. 

He didn't date anyone. His way of mourning was trying not to think about it occupying his space and time with work and training and racing and reading. He couldn't do anything else.  

He always found himself not being able to think, wondering where you were and especially how you were. After that night, you went to cero contact. And he knew it was the best, but he couldn't get you out of his head yet. He felt guilty knowing that he can understand your needs better when it's a little too late. He just wished to press rewind and do it again but the right way this time. He knew it was impossible and that dug a hole in his heart. He knew that it would be there forever. You were the love of his life. He really thought he couldn't love anyone that way, ever again. You were a force of nature for him. Blowing him away every single time. 

You never went back to races. He knew how much you adored the sport and how in another life you would have loved to be an engineer. You dreamed of one day to see a woman on the podium. You actually sponsored two girls from F1 Academy. The boys didn't see you again either. Actually he knew you did see lando a few times because you two became really close during your relationship, but lando always lied and told him that he didn't see you. He knew Lando was trying to be a good friend. He even tried to introduce Oscar to some girls but it never worked. He tried though. But he found himself thinking that he was kissing it was you. It was heartbreaking to see. He was kind of stuck on you. 

So he decided he would take his time to grow and figure out who he was by himself. Find comfort in his own company. Doing dates  by himself. He found it cringe to call it that way but his therapist insisted on calling it that way so he could deprogram himself from you and anything and everything related to you. 

He was proud of himself though. He was doing alright again, actually enjoying his job, his friends, and his own company. He even won races, he did podiums and everything he dreamed of. But still, he hoped you didn't feel like you needed to leave to let him shine. He wished you were there every time to hug you and shower you in  champagne. 

He really missed you in his life.

「 ✦ Too far gone, don’t know where we started ✦ 」

So here you were more than a year later at the Azerbaijan GP 2024. The Mercedes team invited you as a star guest so you came with your friend because alone you would have died. Actually, before coming to the paddock you had an anxiety attack and if it wasn't for your friend who made sure you felt safe and okay to go, you would’ve been on a plane back home. It was the first time since you broke up with Oscar you felt okay enough to be able to go through it. You were invited by different teams at least 15 times now. But you always lied and said you couldn't make it. You just needed to stay at home or the studio writing as far as possible from oscar and anything related to him. But you went through all of that with your therapist and she said that if you liked the sport and you really enjoyed races or anything related to it, you shouldn't let Oscar or the thought of him or what happened, deprive you of it. 

It was sunday, you preferred not to come on friday or saturday just because there were more possibilities you would bump into him. And you just weren't ready to see him. The race was insane so far. Actually, Oscar was doing more than okay. Your heart was pounding, you could hear it loud and clear. Your best friend held your hand all the time in that garage so you don't forget she’s there for you. And that you’re okay.  You knew you shouldn't be afraid of him because he was an angel. But you were scared of yourself and how would you handle that situation. You came to terms that actually, everything that happened between him and you, it was that your insecurities just made everything so toxic that he couldn't handle it all. It didn't feel good when you realised that but it is what it is. You didn't know better and forgiving yourself for that was the hardest part of the process. 

You squeezed your best friend's hand, it was the last lap. Your heart is almost out of your body. You are wearing an old Oscar hoodie. You really liked it, plus you came here looking like shit in your opinion. You didn't even brush your hair nor that you needed it like before, now your hair is super short. Everyone in the garage was watching closely and before you could actually process what you ‘ve just seen. Your friends shouted “omg” in unison not believing what they saw.

Destiny had its twisted ways to be honest. Osca won the race. he won. You were just shocked. 

You were here and he won, like, what are the chances of that to happen actually? First race you’re back and he wins. and in that way. Your friends hugged you. 

“Holy shit that 's really insane shit” Nikola said, watching the screens at the garage. 

“We need to go guys, i don't wanna see him, please” you didn't know why you started to panic like that. Sonny looked at Nikola and just got you out of there. 

At the Mercedes hospitality you felt safe while the celebrations were held. There was no reason or chance Oscar walked into the Mercedes building, right?  You were drinking some coffee with you girls trying to focus on the conversation about any other driver but Oscar, just around strategy and stuff. You were trying really hard but you couldn't stop thinking about the fact that maybe he could come into you any time. Now that you see destiny hates you. 

“y/N, you okay bestie?”Sonny tried to get you out of your drawing though by touching your arm so she could catch your attention back to reality. 

“Oh yeah, I was just thinking,” you said, adjusting yourself on the chair. Nikola looked worried. 

“y/n, we can go if you need to. We don't want you to feel uncomfortable, okay? Just tell us” she said, comprehensively describing the situation and her friend's feelings. You licked your dry lips.

Before you could answer her someone interrupted you. 

“y/, is it you?” that. Fucking. Voice. Your friends’ eyes widen as surprised as you were. You turned to the voice to find, in fact, your ex boyfriend watching you so confused. You were speechless for a moment. He looked so pretty and sweaty. His eyes are shining brighter than ever you have seen. 

“Oh, hi oscar. Yeah, it’s me” you tried to play it cool but to be fair, you felt the butterflies on your stomach just like the first time you met him at that  birthday party you didn't want to go to. But luckilyyou did. Destiny is always playing dirty for you. Or geniously. You didn't know anymore. He smiled widely.

“Oh, wow, hi, yeah. I didn't know you were coming” he said nervously. Your friends looked at each other noticing. 

“I was invited by George, actually. I almost didn't come tho. How crazy, you win right? You did an amazing race. "You were surprised that you could even have a proper conversation with him while your heart was hurting out of anxiety, nervousness and butterflies were everywhere. 

Oscar Felt his chest tighter. His stomach was happy to see you, he knew. “Thank you,” he said sweetly. You looked so pretty under the light of the Mercedes building. You were his hoodie, your favorite, but he didn't know if it was appropriate to mention it. Your hair was so short and looked so beautiful on you. It actually made you look prettier. Your face was the face of an angel, he always thought that. But with that haircut it only intensified your perfection. He felt stupid. Just like the first time he saw you at that party he wasn't even invited directly. Destiny always played on his favour with you, until that night. He didn't even want to remember it. You looked so different yet you felt the same. Your perfume was the same, he knew. It’s the one he gifted you on your 6 month anniversary. You used to celebrate each month. 

An awkward silence makes its presence between you two, not knowing what else to say or comment. 

“Congrats oscar on the win” sonny tried to save you from misery right there capturing oscar’s attention. He smiled gently, thanking her and nikola. He recognized them and gave them a hug. He seemed happy to see them. You smiled remembering your nights playing uno and drinking wine and baking canela rolls when winter break came around. You Missed him more than you’ve ever thought you would. And something inside you just felt exactly the same you always felt with him. He altered the chemistry in your brain so easily it was kind of scary. 

“Hey osc! Zac wants to talk to you! What are you doing here?” Lando Norris came into the building as well. He was your friend. when he saw who Oscar was, he grinned. “Hey, bestie, whatchu doing here?” he said happily, giving you a comforting hug. He was genuinely surprised because you didn't even tell you. He suspected Oscar was here because George told him you were here. He can't keep secrets. And he knew it was George because he was sure Lewis didn't even know you. 

“George invited us,” you explained after he stepped back.

“Okay let's go, great to see you girl. Hope to see you around more often "Oscar said while looking directly at you in the last sentence to then disappear dragging Lando out of the hospitality. Your friends looked at you and you looked at them.

“I need a whole vodka bottle down my throat right now” you sentence, making them laugh. But you didn't. You felt scared of what you felt a few moments ago. 

(...)

New year is here. You were invited along with your friends by lando to his beginning of the year party here in Monaco. And oh you knew Oscar was gonna be there. Of course, he is one of his closest friends also.

This time you felt more calm and collected around the fact you were going to see him again. I think being drunk was the thing you were thanked for. If something felt rare,you would drink straight vodka or tequila and the problem was solved. You didn’t even have to think about it. 

Your friend helped choose the sexiest dress for you. It was a satin white little dress with broderie endings. Pretty subtle but at the same time suggesting. Just how you were. Angel face, dirty minded. Problem was you couldn't date people because of the Oscars. Because since you saw him those seconds in Azerbaijan, you couldn't stop seeing his shiny eyes and beautiful smile every time you close your eyes. You didn't interact all of this time, you didn't even follow each other on social media. 

Mystery drove you I guess. And who could blame you? It was Oscar Piastri, the one you had to forget. But I just couldn't. You missed his touch, his breath, his voice, his lips. 

Your friend took you out of your thoughts telling you they needed to go to the bathroom. You Followed them around the party up to the toilets. They got in but you decided to wait outside because the music was just so good you wanted to enjoy it. You always wished you could write a party song but it isn't your thing at all. Nor you didn't have the personality for it. You were too deep of a person. You needed to cut deep. Be someone to suffer along with. Or at least that’s how you perceive yourself as an artist. 

“y/N?” not that voice again. That damn voice. Though this time you were waiting for it. You looked up to find a drunk Oscar in front of you. You were breathless for a moment. How can a man become so much hotter in just a year? You smiled at him feeling your strawberry lip gloss. 

“Hoy, osc. What’s up?” you said easily. The alcohol made it easier actually. When he smiled you almost died. You Adored his smile since that party you didn't even want to go to. You thought you fell in love with him just right there. Just right here…?

“I was looking for Danny, have you seen him?” he said normally, ignoring his heart, almost skipping a beat when he saw you in that short white dress. He hoped not to be drooling in your face. Since he saw you again, he couldn't get you out of his head. You were everyday hunting him. He wanted to text you but he wasn't sure if he should. You seem so happy now, he didn't want to ruin it. He convinced himself that probably the best for you was staying away from him as much as possible. At the end of the day, he was the reason you hurt, right? Or he wanted to believe that. 

For a moment you watched his lips talking to you. His drunk voice always turned you on. But you couldn't show it. Not anymore. You looked back at his eyes. Half smile on your face while shaking your head “no, i didn't. Iwas waiting for my friends that are in the bathroom” you explained and he nodded. 

“Well, I'll keep looking then. See you around” he told you to go back into the crowd to look for his friends. Hesaw the way you looked at his lips. He had to be the stronger one. It was better this way. As much as he wanted to eat you out right there and then.

He hurt you. He didn't understand you. He didn't deserve you. He made sure to protect you from himself. Even though all he wanted was to be with you.

「 ✦ the (your) truth is out ✦ 」

yourusername made a post

liked by sabrinacarpenter, user456, landonorris and 1,543,678 others

yourusername: i'm so excited to finally tell you our biggest secret! my new ep 'almost said i miss you' will be out february 14 <3 (trying to resignificate the date lol) these songs are really important to me and i can't wait till they finally become yours. thank u to the bestest bestie in the worl for guiding me and helping me through it all, it wouldn't have been possible without you. and you guys for the support, you don't know how much you mean to me :,) thank you for listening to my music since day one. i feel so lucky! see you in a few weeks :D

tagged: sabrinacarpenter, y/nhq

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sabrinacarpenter: so proud of you baby, my fav artist forever. just keep smiling! it's so beautiful to see you happy <3

nikolabff: we are so proud of you gorgeous! the prettiest songs I’ve ever heard 🥹

sonnybff: girl you always serve, thank you for sharing your art to the world I admire you like crazy. So proud of you baby, I love you <3

user489: 'trying to resignificate the date' WHY AM I SOBBING AT WORK

User99: THE TRACKLIST 😭😭😭😭😭

↳ user87: “I miss you, I’m sorry” I CHOKED

user45: it hurt

user12: so excited

landonorris: can`t wait for the world to cry their eyes out just like i did when i heard them :( (it still hurt and I cry before falling asleep)

↳ nikolabff: bro same 😭😭😭

↳ maxverstappen: babygirl

↳ landonorris: get outta here 😡

georgerussel: I know who will cry listening to this

↳ danielricciardo: @/oscarpiastri

↳ landonorris: @/oscarpiastri

↳ sonnybff: guys knock it the fuck off

hattiepiastri: so prod of you girl! Can’t wait to listen to it!

↳ user67: NOT HIS SISTER OMG

↳ user08: I don’t wanna be delusional but girl you

don’t help

↳ user134: they NEED to get back together I don’t

wanna suffer anymore I know Hattie

wants it too 😭

user1: I’m not alright knowing these are for oscar tbh IM DEAD and I haven’t even listened to them yet

taylorswift: and artist of the year goes to…

olivirodrigo: my day to day inspiration

user975: I love girls supporting girls

user56: @/f1gossipofficial is there something about this you’d like to share????

「 ✦ The aftermath - february 14 ✦ 」

Oscar was back to the UK training for the beginning of the new season. It was the coldest winter he experienced. He got back home from mclaren hq. He took a hot shower to warm himself. His apartment was silent. It felt empty for the first time. Like something was missing. He went straight into bed. He wasn't that hungry anyway, but he was tired indeed. 

“Hey, listen to it. I think you need to” 

He saw his sister Hattie's notification pop up on his screen confusing him abit. He went into the messages app and opened his sister’s. When he did he understood what she was talking about. A knot on this throat formed. It was y/n ep. Guess he now understood taylor swift’s exes. It’s hard to date a musician ust because of the aftermath of the relationship. 

“Just do it. You will understand why once you did” 

Another message popped up on this screen and sighed heavily. Probably his sister was right but at the same time he was scaredas fuck. He opened it on spotify, she looked as pretty as ever on the cover of it. ‘Almost said I miss you’ - that was the title and only had 3 songs. By the names of them he suspected it was about him but he tried to believe they weren't even though his sister already told him that they were. He decided to listen to it in order.

He took his headphones from his nightstand so he could hear your voice clearly. All over his head. Cutting deep into his fiber. 

The first piano tiles started playing and his heart was already sinking. Hearing her voice so raw and close and clear sent shivers down his spine. He heard every single word you said. It described perfectly that horrible and forgettable night you broke up. Hearing your voice crack broke his heart into a million pieces. It wasn't even half of the song when he started crying. He knew what he said under his breath that sent you both straight into hell. He felt so guilty about everything. He really just wished to talk to you. 

When he started to hear the second song he knew it was about that race you went. He hoped to see you in the next one, and the next one. But you didn't go again. The lyrics were so real his skin felt every word. 

When he heard you saying that you felt sorry his tears streamed down his face more violently. He didn't recognize this person. But you always had this effect on him. With you he was a feeler, one that felt way too deeply. Unlike the person he shows to people. You always knew the real him. He couldn't lie to you. Even though you thought he would cheat on  you. He would never. Hearing you wanting to hold him broke his heart. Why did you both have to do this the hard way? Why didn't you just be happy with each other? He really missed you. He missed everything about you. Your presence around him. He was his best version with you. Now he feels like a ghost of who he used to be. 

The last song just ended him. 

‘Do you remember being happy together? I do, don't you? Then all of the sudden, you’re sick to your stomach. Is that still true?’ he whipped his tears the best he could. 

You never called her or told her you missed her. But he guessed you would have liked it like that. 

‘everything i know brings me back to us. Everywhere I go leads me back to you’ he felt the same. 

He didn't know what to do. He had a battle inside him. He promised himself he would stay away from you so you could be happy just like you deserved. But at the same time he wanted to be happy and he knew you made him happy. He was happy with you. 

“So? Call her please oscar. You both deserve to be happy and figure things out along the way, together”

Hattie read his mind. Her text just in time when he is back into the silent apartment. The empty and cold apartment that once was full of laughter and music because you were with him. He missed you so much. He missed hearing you play guitar rumbling words then writing them down. You hugged when he was back home, you cuddled in bed when he was sad, your perspective on things. He missed every detail about you.

But was he ready to come back to you?

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

author's note: SO I DELETED IT BY MISTAKE AND I HAD TO REDO IT :(((((((( i've never been this sad but I hope you like it anyway. (This like a 2.0 version) it's the longest fic i've ever written and i love it sm :,) oscar piastri i deeply love you.

idk if I should do a part 2, should I?

also shout to to my international friends nikola and sonny, you girls at the best mwak mwak 💌

don't forget to like, reblog or comment! and follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together)

[mrsrileywrites]

Hi! I read lots of your work and im SO IN LOVE!!! Like I absolutely fell so hard for papa simon 😭😭 i wanna give him a babyy! But i was wondering, how would pregnancy be like with his child. I mean bro is HUGE so his baby would probably be not only pretty big and probably weight a little bit more too than an average newborn. If its okay with you would it be possible for you to write a little story maybe add a little bit of angst? (Idk like argument about something that made the reader really sad?) but please a happy ending 🥹

Feel free to ignore if thats not your thing or just not feeling comfortable writing about it!! LOVE YOUU!! Btw sorry for any misspelling English is not my first language.

First of, as a not native English speaker, your English is perfect.

And second, thank you for your kind words, it really encourages me to keep writing and also boosts my ego 😁

You asked in such a nice and respectful way so I really want to make you happy.

Now here's the thing, I'm an adult with lots of responsibilities and sometimes adulting makes me tired, like last night when I was trying to finish this but I fell asleep and I woke up this morning to find half of my writing disappeared, it just vanished 🥲

But I'll give you this to munch on and I promise I'll finish this before the end of the week.

I hope this is what you were expecting... Enjoy 🫶

A little over 700 words.

_______________________

You stood in front of the sink of your bathroom, holding a pregnancy test on your shaky hands, two little red lines staring right back at you.

How did this happen? How would you tell him? He doesn't want kids, he made it clear from the beginning and you accepted it without a fuss, that's why you've been taking your pills diligently every day, you didn't forget one, did you?... No, you know you didn't, how did this happen?

"You okay there, love?" Simon knocks on the bathroom door and you jump in surprise, like a child that's been caught red handed.

"Y-yes Si, j-just give me a minute... I'll be right there." Your period is about three weeks late so you bought a pregnancy test, your best friends advice, it wouldn't hurt, it was just to make sure, you certainly were not expecting this.

You hid the test on the cabinet under the sink and washed your face before coming out.

It's been a week since your ob-gyn confirmed a six weeks pregnancy and you still haven't found the courage nor the right time to break the news to Simon, so when he gets a call from Price to get deployed on a long mission you fear it would be too late by the time he comes back.

One month at most he said when he kissed you goodbye almost two months ago, you are 16 weeks into your pregnancy and your bump is starting to show, which only adds to your anxiety, between the morning sickness and your hormones being all over the place you still haven't figured out how to tell him.

As you ponder how to break the news to him, you realize that a simple phone call wouldn't suffice. With him stationed on the other side of the globe, risking his life every day, you hesitate to burden him further. At the same time, you know it wouldn't be ideal for him to return home and suddenly find you waddling around with a baby bump.

So you stay quiet and whenever he calls and asks why you sound so exhausted you blame it on your job, you say you are just stressed out, and he promises he'll take care of you once he's back, he'll relieve you from the stress the way you like it, the way only he knows how to.

You are laying on the couch wearing Simon's t-shirt, stuffing yourself with your favorite ice cream and watching trash tv when you hear fumbling outside your front door before it swings open, a very rugged Simon stands in the threshold , you curse under your breath, he didn't say he was coming home the last time you talked on the phone three days ago so you stand there and look at him overly conscious of the bump hiding under his t-shir and you thank the heavens he is a big man, you think the loose fit of his T-shirt would buy you time, your ice cream long forgotten in the coffee table.

He walks towards you with long strides as he pulls his balaclava over his head running his fingers through his messy hair and you shy away, you step back and freeze, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights, he stops in his tracks and tilts her head, his eyebrows pinch as his eyes linger on your midsection and you know you're fucked, he noticed, how wouldn't he, and you hope and pray he'd say something, anything, but he doesn't, he turns on his heels ready to walk out.

"Simon wait!" You call for him and he stops, his hand lingers on the door knob, "I can explain, please just hear me out" your voice cracks and you wish you had been brave enough to tell him before, you know about his childhood and his trauma, you know his struggles and why he didn't want children in the first place, he trusted you and you broke his trust, you deceived him from the moment you found out you were pregnant and decided to keep it to yourself because you were too scared to trust him back.

"Explain what?" He shouts turning around and walking towards you again, your hands fly to your belly instinctively, protective. You lower your head, eyes glued to the floor, ashamed.

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Adoriel's Tears Review

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

This means I will review in accordance to my own tastes, how the game caters to me, and what I feel. Do not take my word as gospel, what I may not be interested in or dislike, may be what YOU are interested and love!!!

@adoriels-tears-if

Synopsis:

Adoriel's Tears are a gift.

A light offered to the inhabitants of Terrybiël to end the conflicts that oppress the Four Peoples and eradicate the evil that was crawling on the continent.

But every light has its shadow and sometimes gifts are poisonous. For if magic comes from the heart, it takes a soul to master it, and fortunate are those who manage to find it. Without a counterpart, without a familiar, a Tear is nothing.

Just a curse. A child of madness. The darkness on Terrybiël. What must be destroyed before they destroy you.

Adoriel's Tears are a gift. At least for the others.

You're long past the point where your heart and soul should be singing together, and yet you're gifted. That's what made you lose everything you had as a child. Now, an opportunity presents itself. Should you take it, is it the right thing to do?

Without a soul and with a magic you can't control, the journey will be a risky one.

Especially since the smell of madness and blood is getting heavier and heavier on Terrybiël. Will you be able to fix everything, to find what you're looking for? Nothing is less sure.

And yet, this voice is calling you, whispering:

Come ! Come to me ! Come to me and don't be afraid.

Review:

The Good: Tobias is Ken, do not fight me on this.

Also, i wasnt aware what Snow was until i looked it up:

SO FREAKING CUTE!

Anyways, I had a lot of fun with this one. It lures you into a false sense of security and wholesomeness only to abruptly show the player and MC the reality of the world. That their mother had been protecting them for a reason. The family dynamics, relationships between characters, and drama crafted got me in my feels enough to care! I also got to name my plushie rabbit Optimus Prime, which was fucking hilarious:

Also i had alot of fun with the parental drama the MC can have with their father

Ashleyn:

And with his fuckboi bros:

Adoriel's Tears does that thing really well, that thing that lets the reader fill in the blanks and make up their own assumptions for the characters until we actually meet them. Plus it lets us act out and be brats so we can break the hearts of all the adults around us that try their best!

Also there's moments like this:

That honestly just adds that bit of humor that works without cause friction for the rest of the tone.

There was also a specific passage that felt emotionally charged and intense. Youll know what im talking about once you reach it, because it is very memorable. Without spoiling, it feels like justice coming forth to smite those that have wronged you.

The Bad: I know that Chapter 1 is a transfer from the original Choicescript, and it shows. The author has already expressed wanting to polish and clean it up, which i think is the right step as the second chapter and onwards have a clear jump in quality. There were numerous spelling and grammatical errors, but given that chapter 1 is four years old, and that the author is not a native English speaker (is French) that can be excused and fixed. I was able to submit errors I came across, so the author will be able to fix what i found in a future update. I do recommend that those who play any IF out there to submit anything they find as authors need us to beta test! Their eyes literally begin to glaze over the words theyve seen for the thousandth time lol.

The Ugly: I encountered moments where the MC feels very sensitive and too friendly, or the opposite where the choices can give an extreme negative reaction in response. I'd like for the inclusion of a more middle ground MC. In addition to that, there where times where my immersion (self insert, remember) broke as my boy MC felt too "feminine" without letting us choose to act it or not. Idk how to describe it other than that lol, but it stood out to me.

The Aftermath: I would recommend this to anyone that wants a good family dynamic/drama, and if characters and their relationships with each other are important to you. There's a lot of promise, potential, and "oh shit" moments that can/will happen (18+ tag, remember?) that only leaves me wanting more. The worldbuilding done allows for some really gripping story telling, and from what we see so far, itll impact the story. Seriously, the worldbuilding here is unique, and WILL stand out as we keep seeing the same ole same ole elsewhere in this genre. It's a fantasy story that keeps itself grounded by using likable characters who have realistic flaws that provide entertainment for us.

[potential-fool]

Im having some serious simp hours so I am requesting a request

Valorant, Yoru, Chamber, Sova, reader who is absolutely in love with their voice. Could listen to them 10/10 all day every day! And dirty talk? Would do anything they ask ngl

Bonus points for mixing english and their native tongue

P.S. pls tag me or ill never find this amazing post T_T i beg thee

@squiddaloo

A/N: Omg this literally this. I like the way you think >:) I will be using google translate for some of the other languages so uh... apologies to any native speakers. ;-; also omg I was writing this and all I could think of was the song "Maria" from West Side Story ifykyk and final note, I ended up doing this in a fade tp black style since you didn't specify whether you wanted it to be smutty or not <3

Tags: Established relationship, GN reader, dirty talk, suggestive talking, denial, hurt comfort

The Sound of Your Voice: Valorant x Reader

Yoru [Ryu Kiritani]

He's a simp, an egotistical one though he refuses to admit he's a simp

your voice though? Oh boy, that's when all bets are off

He wants to be the only one allowed to hear your voice

The two of you were out in the living area of the Valorant Protocol, you were leaned up against your boyfriend, it was a quiet day, a little blessing in disguise as most days were long and hectic. Today though, today was quiet, peaceful.

You hummed a small song, the gentle notes in your throat growing into soft lyrics that escaped your lips. You were too distracted by the lyrics to notice that Ryu had opened a gate in the direction of your shared room.

"あなたはとても美しいですね..." [You sound so beautiful]

You paused for a moment, looking up in the direction of your loved one.

"Ryuuuu you know I don't know what you're sayin'"

You huffed, making a pouty expression that melted away as he grabbed hold of you, taking you through the rift and pushing you onto the bed.

"You sound so beautiful my love~"

Yoru cooed in your ear, his voice dropping and making you feel all sorts of things.

"I bet you'd sound even better moaning my name~ 私の愛 ~" [My love]

You two had a fun night.

Chamber [Vincent Fabron]

This man. THIS MAN.

He will absolutely mess with you anywhere and everywhere

One of his favorite things about you is that small flustered sound you make whenever he teases you

That hitch in your breath? He LIVES for that shit

You and Chamber were under cover at a party, a masquerade to be specific. Entering the room shining with light you were on his arm, the place seemed to sparkle, the shining crystal chandeliers refracting the warm light onto the dance floor. You could see people eloquently swaying to the beat with their partner; the orchestra playing a tune you recognized as one you'd made the effort to learn, it is--partially--in Chamber's native language after all.

You looked up at him and god he was breathtaking, the perfectly tailored waistcoat was white with those beautiful magenta and gold accents. He Really did fit in with this high society stuff.

"Care of a dance mon cheri~?"

You extended a hand to him, bowing and flexing your knowledge of his language.

"Anything for you mon amor~"

He cooed, quietly aweing at your silky voice as he took your hand and stepped onto the dance floor, folding yourself into the others who were dancing. The singer on the mic let her voice fly through the space, catching the eye of your partner as the two of you glided across the floor.

"Hold me close and hold me fast The magic spell you cast This is la vie en rose~"

Your voice was a silky hum in his ears and god Chamber just melted, pulling you close and holding your waist gingerly as he let the song you sang ripple through him.

"My My~ mon cœur~"

He gave your hips a teasing squeeze, causing your breath to hitch just enough for Chamber to hear.

"Vince- Chamber-"

You were breathless, almost forgetting to use his call sign, you were on a mission after all

"Use your words mon amor~ You know how I love hearing you~"

Chamber teased you, though before you could react the song you danced to drew to a close and Vincent smiled, leaving you high and dry as he said:

"We're on a mission mon cheri~ We can finish this if you do a good job for me~"

Sova [Alexander (Sasha) Novikov]

Sova being the soft spoken man he is will happily let you fill any silence with your voice

While he may have grown to enjoy silence you were the exception, silence with you was like an unfinished song

Hearing you go on and on, he could listen to it for hours

You'd had a rough day, coming back from a particularly difficult mission. Difficult, though you found victory. You were exhausted, the moment you stepped off the carrier you went to go find your love; Sova.

You found success in your objective as you knocked on his bedroom door, it opened and he smiled a soft smile upon seeing you. His hair was a little frizzy and he was wearing a t-shirt and grey sweats. Reading your tired expression he pulled you close, rubbing your back and keeping you close.

"Care to shower with me милый?" (Darling)

You gave a small nod, and he guided you into the bathroom off to the side of his bedroom, you were eager to get out of your sweat and dirt covered clothes.

The two of you found yourself holding each other naked in the shower. This wasn't a lust filled event, rather one driven by love and care for the other. Sasha grabbed the soft sponge and rubbed it gently along your back, the newly formed bruises on you aching a bit, causing you to give a soft groan of pain.

"Apologies моя любовь" (my love)

You looked up at him, shaking your head softly

"It's alright Sasha... just hurts a bit.."

Sasha could tell that it wasn't just physical hurt, after all, Sage may have healed physical wounds but she couldn't heal mental wounds.

"Want to tell me about it when we get into bed?"

He asked, inviting you to speak your strife. To this you nodded, accepting his invitation, endlessly grateful one was extended to begin with. You honestly didn't know how he put up with you.

After you showered you pulled on one of Sasha's t-shirts and some panties before crawling into bed with your loved one. The moment of silence was broken by you beginning to speak to what was bothering you.

"...I just.. when does it end?... I'm so tired all the time, tired of fighting, I just want us to be normal. Is that so hard to ask?"

Your voice began to break, tears pricking your eyes and a empathetic look was in your boyfriends eyes.

"Oh my love... It's gonna get worse before it gets better.. and when this is all said and done, I swear to you we will have the life of your dreams..."

His voice trailed off, allowing room for your quiet sobs to fill the room, you cried for a good ten minutes before Sasha broke the silence.

"Rest now my dove.. I love to hear your voice, but not like this, don't waste your energy on tears. Rest, so you may be strong again tomorrow."

You sniffled, your tears beginning to dry as you nestled your head under his chin. A small 'I love you..' could be made out from the murmurs that escaped you.

[sillygh0st]

maybe a hot take but as a Brazilian it feels to me that a LOT of people (especially the english speaking part) on the qsmp fandom only care about the english native speakers streamers AND manages to take the "spotlight" (not the right words) of the other characters

Like tazercraft got their big lore friday and like even if people talked and saw the stream, many people still dont care about , I saw people making it about q!Foolish and its kinda? Like bro you guys are saying that "we just want a villain arc of someone" or "traitor arc when" but when a characther do something similar or just like that you guys treat them like "oh no they didnt mean It🥺" or acting like they are angels (no attack to any streamer okay)

Im saying that because people that are trying to victimize q!foolish are the same than wants characters taking bad or ambiguous actions, no hate to any streamer or anynone in particular but like wow it was TAZERCRAFT lore and instead of seeing the qsmp fandom (english speaking side mostly) talking about them, about how it afected them, their new and old traumas, I saw MANY acting like q!Foolish is a baby that cant do ANYTHING that can be wrong or just very ambiguous on that part 🫣 (and also guys even if all of them, q!pac, q!Mike and q!Foolish, are all victims, q!Foolish is not a silly little angel that didnt do anything wrong)

Also, with the french streamers, and even the spanish speakers ones I kinda see it, because, for me atleast, a lot of people only care about one or two streamers and like we already got the language and culture barriers (already makes things very difficult) and in addition the fandom Just dont care about streamers that are not considered as "bigs", and will only care when its related to their streamers

Felps, tazercraft, the french speakers ones, fit and maximus like, their lore is so good and people usually dont talk about It? Like if you Just watch qsmp for the streamer in question and is not on the qsmp fandom, Just the streamer fandom, its okay, but like If you are on the qsmp fandom in general its weird to me ignoring all the other ones😶

Even with cellbit and forever that are the "biggests" of the Brazilians, the ones with more content and viewers, sometimes people Just dont care about them or do horribles takes about them, like q!forever and q!cellbit are like extremelly Not understood by the fandom

Its okay to watch the ones that speak your language, but its not okay to ignore all the other ones and taking the spotlight of their characters

My english is terrible and I mean no harn to any streamer sorry If something is put wrong here :c (im talking about the fandom not the streamers guys)

[cider-est]

An Idea for a Talent Swap Au (Spoilers!!)

Thinking about how similar Min and Xander both are + the paralels between the two, I realised that maybe, if they had different circumstances, they could've had each others talents.

And thus this AU was born!!!

I'll just ramble about some of the ideas I had (feat. some doodles i made). Btw if you dont understand my handwriting, I put a description on each image for accessibility purposes :] (let me know if I fucked them up pls!!) (also Im not a native english speaker so if I fuck up the grammar let me know aswell!!!)

Backstory changes!

I was mainly focused on making this as close in character and canon as I could? Like imagine if they had made one different choice and their lives would have changed completely, butterfly effect and shit.

This means that I had to come up with how they even got the talents in the first place and who they were before the killing game. This is what I ended up with!

In this Au, the Chariton incident did not happen, so Xander's family is alive and well. This means he did not have his realisation that school sucks and that Gpa doesn't matter.

As for Min, for some reason or another, (I've been toying around with the idea that she got burnt out) was not able to achieve the Ultimate Student title. We've seen that she can get quite angry about the school system, so I'd imagine she could take her frustration out on similar unjust systems.

Dynamic between both of them

I also think they'd have a very interesting dynamic! First impressions, probably not great! Min would definitely have a lot of pity and compassion for Xander, having been in his situation before. I don't think Xander would be a big fan of that though, after all, in his eyes, Hope's Peak is a great institution which has given him the opportunity to be an Ultimate. I think his position would take Min by surprise, but she could later on understand where he comes from.

Maybe it's just my "Ex Religious Vibes (tm)" but I like to imagine that Xander would eventually disilusion himself with Hope's Peak. Although since they are on a killing game, the odds are low as fuck. The only way for that to happen during the killing game would have to be for Min to talk about her backstory.

However for that he'd have to 1. be willing to listen 2. Min would have to be willing to share her past (which, she doesn't really seem like the type to ""trauma dump"") so yeah;; not gonna happen.

A shame because they'd have a really cute dynamic. Personally I think they would behave kind of like siblings, bickering and fighting, but still caring for each other quite a bit. Feel free to interpret them as you wish though :3c.

Personality, Talent, and misc. changes

In this Au, I wanted them to mostly keep their personality but have them impact the way they tackle their new talents + have some changes due to their new backstory.

Min, since in this au she's very familiar with pushing yourself beyound your limits and its consequences, I'd like to think she would have a more gentle side to her, and remind her fellow students when to take a break (much to their surprise). She wouldn't want people to be as hard on themselves as she once was.

As for her talent, I think she'd definitely be more thorough with her research, and more careful as to who she'd expose and how she'd expose them. She'd read a lot of sociology, psychology and law books; essentially mastering the theory side of her talent. However, due to her intimidating and unrelatable personality, she'd have to work extra hard to rally people and have them join her side.

Because Xander having survivor's guilt is so essential to his character, I wanted to sort of pay homage to that. However, since his family is alive, I replaced it with other forms of guilt. Moreso with the guilt of not being constantly productive that comes from toxic work habits, plus the guilt and cognitive dissonance that comes with participating in Hope's peak's shady pratices and yet feeling like you should be grateful for their generosity.

He still has a very fiery and passionate personality, which he keeps under wraps to maintain his "Very Responsible Ultimate Student" persona. Being so determined, I figured he wouldn't have such a big problem with motivation and procastination like Min, although he, kind of like Eden, would have a problem knowing when to stop and take breaks.

Story changes?

I've not yet given too much thought on how this would change the story and I'll need to do a little but of guessing work. So, if I were to guess, Min would have to be the one to recieve the "kill teruko tawaki" letter and attempt to murder her, while Xander would be the one to stop her.

Her murder plan would probably be much more elaborate than Xander's, but she'd be easily overpowered by an enraged Xander. I don't know what would happen after that? My ideal scenario would be Min giving up on murdering Teruko and they all stay alive but...yeah no. Someone's gotta die and narrative-wise it makes sense for these two to die.

I don't think Xander would try very hard to hide his crime. The solving would probably be mostly figuring out Min's murder plan. He wouldn't straight up admit it, but he wouldn't fight the accusations very much. I think David would be the one to defend him, he'd get really depressed, but hey! Atleast he gets closure in this au :').

Dynamics with the others?

I've not yet thought about how their relantionship with the others would change aside from Xander would probs try not to get into fights (and fail) while Min could be more confrontational but still plenty antisocial. Anyway!!,here's an extra doodle on their thoughts on David.

Anyways that's all I have for now!! If you liked this au, feel free to add on to it or borrow ideas, that'd be hella sick!!! Just give me some credit and it's fine.

Also as a reminder: [[Do not repost my art anywhere else]]

Thank you for reading!!

[llyfrenfys]

i must admit i know nothing of welsh history or language. im reclaiming learning the irish language bc i know the history of it and bc i think it's essential to protect native languages of various places. but as someone who doesn't know welsh history, i see "its not like welsh people were beaten for speaking it" and i recoil in a sense of distaste. because while i may not know the history, i very much doubt no one ever in the world has been beaten for speaking welsh, that's a pretty huge assumption to make even if a language isn't being legally oppressed (assuming thats what op really meant). but also, i just loathe the idea that only minority languages are worth saving or caring about if they're being beaten out of people. genocide happens in many ways and only some of them are actually active violence/assault, most are subversive, and purposefully so

idk if i should even be speaking on this bc i dont know the history of welsh but i feel like you literally dont need to know the history behind it to see something very wrong with "speakers of a minority language should shut up if they're not actively being killed for it"

Sorry I took so long in getting to this ask (post anon is referring to) but yeah- that post was gobsmacking to me as a Welsh speaker. I've studied language loss and revitalisation and I can name several endangered languages in which children (and adults) were beaten and abused for speaking their native tongue. For example, we covered the Tlingit language in Alaska (one of the few North American languages I've studied) which is subject to a revival- some Tlingit wanted to learn the language, while others (usually older people) had an aversion to the language. One man said that whenever he speaks Tlingit he can taste soap because he was punished as a boy for speaking Tlingit by having a bar of soap put in his mouth. Language loss via abuse is real and prevalent in many, many endangered languages. The audacity to assume Welsh is somehow immune to that was astounding.

But even if Welsh *was* immune to that somehow (it wasn't) you're right in that we should care about the decline of a language even if it doesn't involve overt suppression. More surreptitious kinds of linguistic genocide lie within the state apparatus. For example, when Wales was merged into the Kingdom of England (see: the Laws in Wales Acts 1535 and 1542) the language of the legal system in Wales was changed to English-only, depriving monolingual Welsh speakers (Welsh was spoken in pretty much every part of Wales at this point) of legal services. This meant that Welsh speakers were effectively pressured indirectly to learn English in order to have a chance at any legal services in court. Over time, the privileging of English over Welsh created a pressure to abandon Welsh in favour of English, because there were 'more opportunities' in English than in Welsh.

Similarly, the true Treachery of the Blue Books wasn't that the British Government in 1847 had ordered a review into Welsh schools and found that too many people were speaking Welsh- but that Welsh-speaking parents began to forbid their children from learning Welsh and supported the findings of the inquiry because they too had felt that pressure of English-language supremacy. Believing that there's more opportunities in English than in Welsh. It's an unfortunate legacy and attitude which still persists today- and none of the Commissioners of the Blue Book Inquiry shed any blood in doing so. But the impact was nonetheless dire. It's also a self-creating cycle: There are no opportunities in Welsh -> People learn English instead of Welsh for opportunities -> There's fewer Welsh speakers to create more opportunities in Welsh ->There are no opportunities in Welsh.

But yeah, I have no idea what the OP of that other post was thinking but it was offensively ignorant in any case. I'm glad though that Welsh's struggles are seen by others at least, in this day and age.

[spacealligator]

I'm curious to know how you manage your documents for fics, so I've come to you with a few (possibly fun?) questions regarding your process !

1 - How do you name your documents? 2- If you have a multichapter fic, do you keep it all on one document, have a separate document for every chapter, or something else? 3 - If a situation arises where you want to make a drastic change that can essentially end up deleting thousands of words, do you commit to deleting those chunks and start fixing them right in the original document, or do you resort to making copies first so that you still have the original? Something else, maybe? 4 - Optional freebie slot ! Tell me something about your process that you might want to mention, but I didn't have a question specific enough for you to mention it !

hellou whoooo, thank you so much for the ask, here`s how my mess of a brain organizes everything?

1- most of the time the titles are just the theme of the fic, so for the Handsome Cop universe ie the title of the google docs was police AU for a long time, Ive had names like roommate AU, ame trio AU, flower AU etc very straight foward. I only change the title of the google docs once I settle on a title I really like, and that usually happens when Im about to publish and have to come up with something hehe

2- I keep all chapters in one doc, and also, if Im writing a series, theyre also in the doc because I often need to reference it to check some infos or really just the tone of the writing up until then. The worst part is correcting some info that you`ve been using for some time, like the age of a character changes, or something that happened in their past and they reference it a lot, then I have to go over the whole text and look for the specific mentions of that info and it just sucks

3- I have a google docs called kill your darlings where I put the scenes and ideas that were edited off my final drafts, I often go through the drabbles to check if there`s any cool idea in there I can re use under a new light

oh man 4 it`s gonna be a wild one

while reviewing and editing I often use text to speech tools to make sure that the writing sounds natural, its really useful for non native english speakers like myself

I have a spreadsheet of all my wips, with their % completion status, whats still on the pipeline to be written, and just silly ideas that I want to explore in the future (I had to do this because I had more wips than I could manage and was drowning in plot bunnies hehe)

when Im stuck I like writing on my phone because its hard to care about formatting, so I just shoot hundreds of words into a doc that when I open up in the computer looks like a enormous wall of text, and its easier for me to correct, edit and fill in the gaps once I have the main content on a page (blank pages scare me)

I often write all the dialogue of the scene first, and then fill in the gaps with descriptions and inner monologues, this way I make sure the conversations in my fics have some rhythm to them

most of my stories never had an outline, I just get this scene in my had and then I have to do the work around to get there and after it the consequences of it, right now Im working on my cowboy bebop AU and its the first time I really planned a plot, but I dont know whether is better or not

sometimes I go back to read my fics already posted but I often get an itch to correct things like wording and typos, but I dont because thats a rabbit hole I don`t wanna fall into

I hope you enjoyed reading my answers and got something useful out of them, I`d love to ask you right back and hear about your writing process too!

[the-fo0l]

Tbh i won't mind if this acc ever becomes a 47 fan acc cuz i barely see any 47 fanfics😭 and i'm simp for that man<3(im recently in the fandom too)

Can i request a yandere 47 with a sleepy reader? Who basically just sleep everywhere and everywhere that would be interesting and probably stressful for him lol

Yandere!47 x sleepy reader

Notes: i think i would kinda mind if this became a 47 fan acc, don't get me wrong, i love him w all my heart but i have other characters and ideas

Warnings: none, I'm not a native english speaker, im totally fluent but this made me question my skills a bit

The drive back home was never quite fast enough.

The headlights were the only source of light on the rural road. Not like there was much to illuminate though, the night was overwhelmingly dark and the windsheild wipers couldn't do much against the pouring rain.

A palpable anxiety hung in the air, one that was only amplified by the fact that, aside for the harsh sounds of wind and rain outside, everything was completely silent.

God. He missed you so much

Your smile, your laugh, your touch, your expressions, opinions, thoughts, even your playful teasing.

This particular mission had taken unusually long. Well, the kill itself was quick, but the process of infiltrating for the required intel took much longer than he would've liked. He even had to spend a night in a hotel, not like he could sleep anyways. At least during the extra days away he had time to get you a few gifts (and by "a few" i mean seventeen).

His paranoia grew every passing minute that he wasn't with you, it was funny, how only you can bring out that kind of emotion in him. Of course a part of him knew you were okay, the house was stoked with everything you could ever need plus if someone broke through the security system he'd be the first one to know.

For a moment, 47's brought out of his thoughts as the road transitions from asphalt to gravel and the drive itself gets more uneven and noisy. It was a comforting sign that home wasn't much further.

Still, he couldn't help but be worried, worried about how you were doing, worried about how felt about him being gone for so weirdly long, worried over irrational scenarios where you accidentally hurt yourself.

It was times like these he wanted nothing more than to call you, to hear your voice and to talk to you, but he couldn't, he had made sure there was no line of communication between you two, thus no chance of calls getting traces.

So he kept driving, it was all he could do. He'd been so caught up in his thoughts he didn't notice how his grip on the steering wheel tightened and pressure on the accelerator got increased.

Would you be in the living room, binging that show you like? In the kitchen, having one of the pre-made dinners he prepared for you? In the bedroom, reading? Relaxing? Or, as you so often did, napping?

Relief washed over him once the house was in view. He could see that some lights were on but he couldn't see you in any of the large windows of the modern house.

He hastily parked, grabbed the supply bags and practically ran to the front door. 

The door smoothly slid open and 47 practically threw his bags on the floor, he couldn't care less about anything besides seeing you right now.

There was no sign of altercation in the house. Though, if someone were smart enough to find your location (and be stupid enough to think they'd get away with it) they probably wouldn't leave a trace.

After all, there was no shortage of people who wanted 47 dead, and they certainly wouldn't be afraid to use you against him (they should be). He couldn't even trust Diana with the knowledge of your existence.

The first floor was dimly lit, you never did like using the big light. A few dishes were left out in the kitchen and on the coffee table, and you had clearly made yourself comfortable with the pillows and blankets on the couch, but you were nowhere to be seen. 

47 made his way upstairs, quickly clearing other rooms on the way, since he was rather certain of where he'd find you.

He opened the bedroom door a lot more cautiously and carefully stepped inside. 

You were in a deep sleep, the blanket only partly covering your body. You had made yourself into the most comfortable position possible and he couldn'thelp but smile at the sight.

He should have expected this, the sound of rain outside had always been relaxing to you. It would be a crime to disturb you when you looked so peaceful, not that 47 had considered it.

He slowly sat down at the edge of the bed and took you in, your messy hair, relaxed expression, slow breathing. You looked like the most beautiful person in the world, the best person in the world, and you were, at least to him. 

God. He'd missed you so much.

The longer he sat there admiring you the harder he felt his heart swell with overwhelming adoration and love. He'd spent nearly a week yearning to get home, and only now that he was sitting beside, knowing you were safe, did he feel truly at home. It was a foreign feeling for most of his life, home. Before meeting you all it meant was the house one lived in most, but now, this house you two shared could get blown to pieces and he wouldn't care, as long as you were safe, and happy.

After a while he gently laid an arm over your hip and leaned in to give you a chaste kiss on the forehead.

His body and mind weren't quite ready to sleep just yet, so he begrudgingly pushed himself to get up. Now in a much calmer state of mind, he went to put away his gear and clean up the house. He wanted to prepare for when you woke, he wanted you to wake up to the smell of your favorite breakfast (plus the gifts he got you). 

He could already picture it. You groggily stumbling downstairs, your eyes lighting up when you see him in the kitchen, you hugging and greeting him like you usually do-

-He couldn't wait <3

[isadollie]

So could I make a request for the matchup? Here's the info I wrote down;

-for fandom: haikyuu

-My name is Lorena (also not a native english speaker!), she/her, demisexual (no real preference of gender, i just like people but also quite a low/slow tolerancy for developing romantic feelings) no preference

-likes: being at home/alone, cooking and baking and drawing, scary uncomfortable movies

-dislikes: uggs, loud people

-in my free time i like to just listen to music and think about things or have a good cleaning session

-definitely on the grunge/alternative side, also alternating between masculine and feminine

-short and quite a small frame (at 156cm and 47kg but im trying to gain weight i swear), short dark brown shaggy hair which i dye dark red, brown eyes that do not work (i wear contacts)

-quiet and introverted, if i had to compare to a haikyuu character, in a kiyoko type of way. I find it easier to socialise with other introverts as well. Usually I keep my thoughts to myself unless im around close friends, I legit get silly with them, I like to be direct and honest and more of a listener. Mom friend of the group so I tend to be stern with my friends, lowkey a party pooper as im a hater at heart. That friend that does not like your boyfriend

-i dabble between infp/intp, who knows atp

-my dream present would be smth like a trinket that reminds them of me

-my love language would be quality time and acts of service

- taurus rahh 💪🫶

- a good deal are a bunch of mitski songs (abbey, thursday girl, cop car), red swan, francesca

Thanks so much, you're a peach!

— matchup —

if you'd want a matchup too, make sure to check out this! link

i match you with...

Iwaizumi Hajime!

★ i have a feeling Iwa would love alt aesthetics, personally i think he'd like alt music too-

★ being an amazing man he is, he'd definitely take things slow, he doesn't want to rush anything, his priority is to make you feel safe and comfortable around him

★ scary and uncomfortable movies you say? oh, when i tell you he's in love. he has a whole list of this kind of movies in his notes app, marking the ones you've already seen together. you also rate every movie you've watched, creating a whole tier list out of them lol

★ knowing that you find it hard to socialize, he wouldn't pressure you into doing so. however, if you two meet a whole bunch of his friends when hanging out, he'd check every minute if you feel comfortable enough around them. if you want to say something, he only listens to you and makes sure that others don't interrupt you when you talk

★ he loves to see you being mom of the friend group! it shows him how caring you can be towards the ones important to you, and that just makes him fall in love even more

★ he is soo acts of service guy, you can't change my mind about this i'm afraid. you hate to do this one particular house chore? call him. he'll do that. just like that

★ Iwa knows you don't like loud people, so whenever Oikawa acts a bit too annoying, he just has one more reason to scold him<3

hello, hope you liked it:) your second match was kenma! thanks for requesting<3

[sayitaliano]

when people whos native language is english speak italian, whats the general opinion of their accent? Do people find it annoying, fine, ridiculous, nice, etc? you can be honest XD im curious

Hun, believe it or not, I'm always honest here :P Being a country in which basically nobody talks without Regional accents, we are used to hear Italian in different forms, so we don't really mind about people talking Italian with foreign accents either. Eg. there's an English guy that now lives in Italy that teaches English to Italians on youtube and there's no one annoyed by his accent (he speaks in Italian and then explains English rules and pronunciations).

I think we focus on what you say and the fact that you speak Italian, no matter how well or your accent. Okay, if your accent and intonation is similar to one of those I mentioned in this post, we may just find your first three words funny (because we get recalled of those comedians, not because of you) but it ends there. I personally like to listen to foreigners speaking Italian with their accents: my cousin is Spanish and even if now he's speaking with a little less accent, in the beginning he had a very stronger accent and it was very nice to hear. I loved to watch F1 interviews cause of Germans, English (as Ricciardo) and French people speaking Italian, I found that very beautiful to listen to. I also liked to make an impression of them but not to mock them, just cause I like foreign/different accents/tones (I sometimes make impression of Italians with a strong Regional accent too -I hear something different from my boring way to talk -I only have a light accent-, I try to copy it). Think also about Pope Benedetto XVI: he spoke with a very strong German accent and nobody really cared, I again very much liked that (also cause in Alto Adige, Italians speak that way too tbh, so it's like again... part of our nature, it's "normality"). Anyway, we don't make fun of non-native speakers nor we find it annoying or anything (unless you deal with idiots), we simply generally very much appreciate that you speak Italian the way you can (also cause we probably suck at your language instead -or we're worse than you at Italian too LOL-, so we really cannot say anything negative about you)

[mamapilled]

mother nonsenses 1.0

was part of the manifesto. (but not anymore?) though these are just random ideas in my notebook that i havent yet found a way to fully write sth decent with. though the evidences are all there. here just for archive, none of these really mean anything. except the last bullet point? but it also doesnt mean anything

- [this was one of my replies when heilhades333 and i was talking abt my ageswap luther and her matriarch nature. then somehow it snowballed into ranfren chi no wadachi?] i think as far as where the series is currently at, randal's still far too young for luther to consider anything about him having a family of his own or even a partner. at this life stage he is still under luther's care, and therefore, a part of luther's family. i see luther as the highest queen of her own beehive, so she wouldnt want randal to eventually have his own family (though, as the "ivory heir", maybe that day will come. if they can grow old that is). luther's way of building a family is more of collecting "family members" - what she'd like to call them, rather than building branches. i dont think she would mind if randal gets a partner as long as they'd submit to become a part of her family (like how she got sebastian as a pet for randal) maybe only when said partner wanted to pull randal away we'd have a problem (satoru. though its mostly bc she wanted to go camping with her family and also blueberry pancakes)

^ i kNOW the mother here is referring to the mother/earthbound franchise. but this is my domain and i can say whatever i want

- [purely delusional. hello hitchther nation?] in my beautiful mind theres this specific what-if situation luther is the queen bee, the hitchhikers are the drones, randal is the queen-to-bee (haha get it) while the catmen and like, nana carpet seb and the rest are worker bees. the drones' only purposes is to mate with the queen (only the fittest ones get this honor) and they'll die in the act but they're happy doing so ^^; this is just me fumbling the hitch hikers’ role theres nothing more to this really, lol

- [i’m still marinating this thing with nou but its going to be mother manifesto 2.0 when i finally know how to verbalize it. wonder when that is... the following paragraphs are choppy and rough bc theyre mostly texts i sent to nou at 12am] AGAIN IM NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER PLEASE EXCUSE ALL THE... IDK VERBS FORMS ERRORS I DONT KNOW! WHAT THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!

i know luther is the emperor tarot card (totally agree. shes also the empress TO ME. because im me of course) but then nou told me about her being the sun while randal is the moon and. huh. that kinda caught me off guard because the sun is supposed to represent. well? good omen and all the nicest things in the world. huh. everytime i think too much abt this i’d get super emotional (im getting emotional Right Now. thats why i dont think i can fully articulate this 2.0 manifesto any time soon) bc yknow. according to a normal regular person’s standard, luther is far from “good”, but also cap did write that luther “believes hes a nice person but is working on it” (not the exact quote but you get it)

something about her trying to be a good person though she probably would never be one but still in her cynical little mind hes being sweet and loving and Good. and not doing whatever she "in the past" has done. bunch of references to "the past" are mostly if not all abt how horrible and terrible and scary she was and how she keeps saying shes not like that anymore though we arent sure how much of it is true bc shes fucked in the head to oblivion. its the thoughts that count i guess?

these are probably all related to luther giving birth to randal (in my head) since ARHGHGH idk!!!!!! i'd imagine this was her before having him (or at least, when she just had him for a few? years? decades?) and then until she had to raise randal and realized he needs to grow into a decent person and started that fucked up roleplay spiral game of her she goes out less and less and trying to be a perfectly normal loving human and a caretaker of this made up family and stopped doing whatever the fuck she was doing when she was still a young maiden terrorizing canada’s deepest forest suburban hell

since randal is like. THE ivory heir to me too he'll take over one day its like now shes just being a mom and making sure hes ready to be it. one day (that day might never come once again she loves making shits up in her head saying stuff no one can fucking understand. cynical woman) and also making sure everything around him is ready for his growth and also being a good role model for him. yadda yadda. not to mention randal keeps talking abt how shes not like before / this body isnt what it used to before as if they both know shes fucking aging (old) and having randal is what she wanted in life like how parents after having children just want to devote their entire life to give their children the best upbringing bc their time is ending soon its time for the next generation. THIS IS ALSO PURELY DELUSIONAL SORRY

whatever im rereading camping arc again (i do this every night) what can i say i love female hysteria and getting the horrors abt luther von ivory slowly descending into insanity