#no one can ever replace her but yk what i mean

[brandyvampirexx]

Who wanna be my Kirsten Dunst?

[ganeshpnf]

Are you a fan of httyd as well?! I agree how Percabeth they are :) If you are a fan, what do you think about the live action and casting? Since everyone is debating on it. Personally I dont like race-swapping but I like Nico Parker so much!

Hello! And yes I am a fan of httyd as well, it is one of my fav childhood movies :) Now I dont usually talk about races or other stuff on this blog, but since you asked, I gotta add some warnings first:

Please remember that these are mostly my personal thoughts, if you dont agree it is okay. You are free to add your own thoughts, but please be respectful. Okay, lets go-

I love Nico Parker and know her since her role in tlou. And I gotta say I dont like actors getting hate because I also got so many racist comments when I was a child too. I had a facebook account when I was 12 and you wont believe how people can be so cruel for someone's nationality. Thats why even today, I am rather secretive on my nationality, only sharing to people I trust and call them friends. So why would I be happy seeing actors getting the hate comments bcs of their skin color now? I would never blame the actors, but- I would blame the companies and todays "new era of televizion"

Whatever we like it or not, we cant deny the fact that they only do it for the new era, marketing. Look at Nico Parker, her face looks exactly like Astrid. If they give her a blond wig, she is Astrid. But they dont, also giving her braids. And the only reason is: To show us that she is black and would appear as so. They want us to see that. I hate live actions, because even though they do this for marketing and "diversity", they realize this would get hate for the actor, they are using them. And no we cant say "No it is not for diversity or wokeness". Well, it is since we see almost every og white character is getting race-swapped: Snow White, Ariel, Rapunzel, April from Tmnt, Annie the Orphan, Triss, Hawkgirl, Annabeth, Jimmy Olsen, Doctor Who and many more. I know, whitewashing is a big problem, but I dont think its ever a way to stop the racism. To me even, It creates MORE-

It is also giving double-standarts, because people flip when you even mention changing an og black character. Not that I support that either. "Their race has a meaning in the story!" You can change Snow White but you cant change Tiara. It gives the message "You can change white characters but you cant change poc characters". I am not fully white, but it is giving also racism to me. Not to mention, this new televizion era, tries to avoid blond characters, especially blond woman in any day. New httyd cast has 0 blonds and they are Vikings. Any blond character is replaced. Oh and people say "It is a movie about the dragons!" Well, these are all fantasies. Tiara has a talking frog yk? If you think that, that we should be able to change all of them.

But in today's televizion, race is everything to them. Everything has to be about race. Which is stupid. We all want to be equal, but now they made people look onto race only. Back then, we loved movies because of their plot, acting etc. But now, every remake only focuses on one thing: diversity, how to make it more diverse? Now I also love a good diversity, which means every races together on tv, which is amazing right? It is what we all want. But today, it changed all the meaning. And the only thing companies look for MARKETING. It is not fair to audience, it is not fair to the actors. I would prefer companies to stop doing live action but to make something new with diversity, with new characters who are white, black, latinos, Hispanic, Arabic, Turkish, Indian etc. Now that IS diversity. Not changing og characters to white to black OR change to black to white. Both of them are doing nothing but upsets the audience because people are aware the point behind it.

The worse part is, I think they know it wont do anything as well, but do it for money, using actors as shield. I dont think they deserve it, at all. Especially child actors would have that scars forever. Even how much people support them, at the end, the scars stay.

So yeah, this is what I think. Oh I gotta add, costumes looks like a school play kinda...Its like they only focused on Hiccup and Toothless. But we will see, I would watch it and then share my thoughts again ^^ Thank you for your ask :)

[sugarywishes]

Could you go a bit more into your plans and the role of Elizabeth & Even in the future of your AU? I'm curious to learn a bit more about how their respective roles change things, as well as how it will end up playing out with Micheal & William also involved on the whole...

Of course! Answers below as usual.

So I'm trying really hard to not fully expose every detail of the Security Breach portion of this rewrite, but the gist of it is Glitchtrap/William, and the Afton kids return for a grand finale! And unfortunately Gregory, Vanessa, and GlamFred have to be in the middle of it all. (Which means HW 2, Secret of the Mimic or whatever games they'll be making in the future will likely not be added to this thing, unless I really like it but it's likely I won't lmao) (RUIN-ED is in a complicated situation in this rewrite, it's technically now an AU spinoff, that's not canon to the security breach section but is still related to it, but I'm over complicating things here, I'll explain it in other post!)

And as some of you know in this section of the rewrite/AU, Glitchtrap will use Gregory as a replacement body for Evan to inhabit to come back to Earth, and boy are they BOTH upset about this! (My Security Breach portion will include Gregory's family, the Casas, and they'll get a chance to interact with Evan a lot too, since they don't know that Gregory's kind of being possessed rn)

Speaking of the Casas, EVERYONE in that family serves as a 'mirror' to the Aftons (that does not mean they share the same personalities or anything, they're just the counterparts for story telling purposes, and I mean VERY important story telling purposes!) Julian is the 'William', Rebecca is the 'Clara', Gregory is the 'Evan', and Monica is the 'Michael'. You may notice that Elizabeth wasn't included in the line up (originally, before RUIN-ED came out, there were many theories that Cassie could be Gregory's twin sister and I was ALL for it because then I could finally have Lizzie have her own Casas counterpart, and then turns out she wasn't related to him, so I had to rewrite things unfortunately 😔) So now, VANESSA is the Elizabeth counterpart.

Going back to Evan, he HATED coming back, when he did originally wake up in Gregory's body, he had a full blown panic attack and was horrified by his surroundings, cause yk he was freaked out by Glitchtrap, an 8 foot tall gay ass bear, a white woman and a teenage girl who looked too similar to his brother whom he only remembers MURDERED HIM, that can really overwhelm someone! (Btw, Mike had been fully anticipating his father's return, but he didn't think Evan and Elizabeth would come back because he thought they moved on, they definitely did not!)

After a whole rescue operation (and losing someone during it, not a death though.) Gregory/Evan will go through a lot of trials and tribulations through family matters and trauma. Again, I'm trying not to spoil a lot about this section since it's pretty crazy, but they do become friends! They will be each other's first ever friends, actually, since Cassie won't be in this rewrite. SORRY ☹️ she will be important in the RUIN-ED AU/spinoff though! (Yk the one with the stupid ass kids/ocs)

For Elizabeth, she will end up attempting to possess Vanessa (although it was not part of William's original plan, and who knows? It could work.) I really want to say more details but I must restrain myself from doing so. She will be an antagonist along with Will, she's gonna cause some evil shit, and she'll get a redemption arc because it's what she deserves! (Yk after she learns her lesson) And there is actually a reason why she and Evan even have relationships with the MCI/KCI kids, even if Liz didn't actually meet them when she was still Baby. Let's just say, the afterlife prison for her was not cool! Thank goodness she managed to escape too.

And yeah, tons of Afton family drama is relevant in this too, it intertwines with the Casas family own trauma.

I'd really like to discuss more about what exactly will happen, believe me. But I'm saving all that for when I get to it! (And also because, I'm still working on it!)

[imaginespazzi]

PARTTTT 8

- NIVIII BBBYYY HIIIIII just wanted to say ilysm

- 9k????? OH MY YOU GODDESS I CANT

- anyways onto reading…!

- the first theme being angst.. yeah the cliff and i abt to be like 🤞 🤞

- girl don’t even stress abt the missed timeline PLEASE!! you have been spoiling us so much. i hope you have an amazing vacation you def deserve one!! The weekly update will be missed ofc but as i’ve said before, your updates are always worth the wait 🩷🩷

- me too azzi girl #liarabtmyfeelings

- OH GOD I JUST NOTICED ITS 2025 IM SCARED

- AAILYAH HI BBYYY #bluntqueen

- lexie…babe thanks for your lack social awareness 🥰🥰 giving us a pazzi reunion however, im shaking in my boots rn

- hey so just thought you should know, you finally got tears out of my eyes! could be the fact my day has sucked but i am crying over azzi saying she’s proud of paige and paige being shocked. my soul has been harmed😢

- so off topic but jewell and paige’s friendship is so cute.

-paige fumbling over her feet to get away from azzi. i just know the details of their breakup are gonna the lash thing read before i take my last breath.

- a world where paige and azzi go three months without speaking is one i fear.

- okay my stomach hurts. paige’s anger is so valid, it really is but my god not too much on azzi… my heart can’t take it.

- “We’re not together and I can flirt or kiss or fuck-” she flinches, “anyone if I want to.” i flinched too!

- paige hun pretending is just going to make it hurt more later. istg u and your evil geniuses… IM SO SCARED THAT THEY ARE PRETENDING TO MUCH IN THE NOW AND THEY ARE GONNA GET HIT BY A TRUCK. (not an actual truck but like yk)

- GOD AZZI PULLING AWAY FIRST AGAIN. PAIGES FACE.

- stop paige ☹️

- yeah where’s my cliff at? i might as well pay rent.

- “if only you’d just let me hold you in front of the world written all over Paige’s face.” yeah so the cliff isn’t enough anymore. seems to easy of a way to go.

- FOREPLAYING. MADISON?!!!!! INFRONT OF CHILDREN???? girl.

- stephie is a smartie for her attempts in guilt tripping paige.. i don’t think paige has ever actually used the word no around her tbh

- OH GODDAMN PAIGE. she’s been talking to aaliyah i see with her bluntness! i feel like ur anon (the emoji one holding the baby) BUT CAN THESE BITCHES FUCK ALREADY?!!! i don’t even need details BUT GODDAMN.

- god. i get where paige’s doubt is coming but girl please just let azzi talk instead of just hanging up 😭

- i however fear i would’ve hung up too…

- “I called because I hung up without saying goodnight to Stephie and just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I’m gonna miss saying goodnight to her.” and just like that i’m screaming😊 since we decided the cliff wasn’t enough… i’m thinking fire ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 because that’s how my heart feels!

- yes teammates def carpool!!! the end all smiles! great chapter!

- MS. FRENCHIE WENT TO MOTHER DAUGHTER MOVIE NIGHT??? what the fuck. jana may be a child of divorce (can it even be called that if azzi said no to marriage?) BUT PAIGE CANT BE REPLACED!!

- hey so i just read the paragraph abt love and yeah maybe fire then flinging myself off the cliff will be enough? oh and im crying again.

- oh

- my

- god

- i am full on sobbing rn

- i did not see this coming

- PAIGE SAYING I HATE YOU😭😭 after that whole paragraph of azzi thinking abt how paige loved every part of her imperfections and all. u planned that nivi u evil genius.

- “she loves being seen with me, she loves being known as my wife” god does paige even love her or just being seen with someone who loves her? god i’m starting to feel really bad for mrs. cunt. these divorce papers need to be signed already.

- “why couldn’t you have just loved me enough” paige bby:( stop i feel so conflicted. like part of me is upset with azzi for how much pain paige is in BUT THEN IM LIKE NO NO NO azzi had her reasons which were valid and outside of how much love she has for paige. BUT GOD MY POOR PAIGE.

- i need azzi to get off this phone call RIGHT NEEEEOOWWW. get this girl a hug PLEWSEEEEE hearing this is harming my soul for azzi

- “i think i’ll miss you forever” OKAY LANA DEL REY💋💋💋

- OH GOD MS. FRENCHIE VS PAIGE FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

- yk ms. frenchie im kinda a fan of you. i mean i want azzi far far away from you but i’m glad azzi had someone completely on her side.

- OH HE DID NOT JUST INSULT STEPHIE LIKE THAT.

- AZZI FUDD THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. BEAT A BITCH UP😛YESSSSSSS!!!🥇🥇🥇

- i was expecting paige to get violent but oh this was so much better. rereading this i don’t know why i was expecting paige bueckers to harm someone else??

- okay tension 🔥🔥

- “we can’t keep throwing the past in each other’s face, Paige.” AZZI I AGREE but also please YALL can we talk abt the past because im scared if they keep ignoring it, it’s gonna blow up

- GOD paige is constantly just in panic mode of “is azzi gonna leave again” and like i get, i do but im actually terrified of how this is gonna come back and hurt them.

- “baby you are the exception to all of my rules.” oh okay just rip my heart out that’s fine i don’t need it anyways.

- im literally laying on my floor complicating life

- yk are these freaks abt to break their rules and have a sleepover…

- OKAYYY FUTURE CHAPTER YAP SESSION TIMEEEEEE OR LIKE question time ig?

- okay so ms. frenchie DIDNT WANT CHANGE TEAMS??? DAMN. is this like known to the team? wait u may have said this already so oops but what position did ms. frenchie play? was anyone else traded out to get paige or just her?

- can we just take a moment for some ice brady appreciation! i love her and paige’s friendship.

- OKAY SO i take it paige doesn’t remember the call..?

- okay question ive been dying to ask butttt are we ever gonna get a nika feature?????

- im legit on the edge of my seat dying to find out more details abt their breakup

- okay that’s all i got… im always so amazed with how much your other anons always pick up 😭😭 im always too involved in my own emotions to notice your small details then i read others recaps and im LIKE DAMN OK OK NIVI I SEE U.

-also sorry for the shorter review i was kinda crying and screaming too much to think

- ANNND i fear ms. frenchie is gonna have to stick bc i can never remember how to spell her name… (plus like u said she wasn’t gonna play a big role so WHATTEEVVVEEESS)

- anyways hear to say even though sometimes i think you enjoy putting me at the bottom of my cliff you’re still my favorite evil genius!!🩷

- 🤩🤩

Hiiii bby 🫶🏾

- Thank you so much lovely!! Hopefully not writing for a bit will make me miss it so much that I suddenly lose my ability to procrastinate after I get home.

- Omg I don't know if I should apologize or take it as an honor that I finally made you cry. 😭

- I loveeee Jewell so much and I absolutely adore that she and Paige seem to get along so well. It make me so happy.

- The word no absolutely does not exist in Paige's dictionary when it comes to Stephie (or Azzi for that matter)

- LMAO everyone just waiting for these gays to fuck lol

- Oooooh from jumping off cliffs to burning in fires, this journey of yours through nature is quite interesting 😭

- Mrs Cunt and Miss Frenchie makes me laugh every time lmao

- I try really hard to keep y'all sympathetic towards both Paige and Azzi so that you feel this way for both of them makes me really happy. They're just in an awful situation really. (WHO DID THAT?? 🤪)

- Communication is so important. They really should listen to you and talk....but will they?

- Clémence is likely a guard but idk if I'm ever gonna specify that so it's up to y'all really.

- Nika feature for sure at some point! Honestly a fair amount of cameo to go because I can in fact drag this out lol.

Ah babes I don't mean to push you off a cliff but I hope you're comfortable down there 😭

[hotchs-bitch]

Hiiii, hope you're doing good today 🤠 could i get a blurb from the Well Respected universe with Hotch and reader from before they got together 🥺 maybe her first day on the job or something, idk I'm feeling fluffy lmao

Hiiiiii <33 you absolutely can!!! I hope you’re having an amazing day. Also if I ever write a prequel chapter you have to pinky promise to pretend this doesn’t exist bc continuity errors give me a headache <3

Ps I do not think this is fluffy enough and I’m so sorry😭 pre relationship makes me so nervous to write fluff for cause I don’t want them to be TOO familiar yk

“Sir? The new agent is here to see you!” Garcia chirps from the doorway, and Hotch glances up from his paperwork without lifting her head. “I like her. She’s very… well, you’ll see!”

She flits away without a word, leaving Hotch only slightly nervous as to what she means. Her presence in the doorway is replaced by a shadow a second later, and then he sees you.

It’s a good thing that Hotch’s unwavering professionalism is one of his strong suits. Otherwise, god only knows what sort of embarrassing reaction he would have the first time he sees your smile. He blinks once, twice, snaps himself out of the haze he didn’t realize he had fallen into while you stick out your hand.

“Agent Hotchner, it’s nice to meet you. I’m here for orientation,” you say, and your eyes are so wide, your face is so eager, and Hotch is just grateful that your profiling skills aren’t as developed as his own. Yet.

He shakes your hand as he stands up from his desk, and nods when you introduce yourself. He commits both name and pronunciation to memory, then rounds the desk. “Let me show you around,” he offers, and when you nod he starts towards the open door.

“This is a really nice office,” you tell him, and he can’t tell if you’re trying to fill the silence or if you genuinely think that. “It’s an honour to work with you, sir. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Hotch hums, a short noise from somewhere in his throat. “Not all bad, I hope,” he murmurs. It’s fruitless; he knows you’ve probably heard all about what an overworked asshole he is. His reputation precedes him in most circles, for better and for worse.

“Not at all,” you assure him as he leads you to the conference room. When you start to turn in the wrong direction out of his office, he guides you with a hand on your back to keep you on track while letting you speak. “Well, I mean. I’ve heard a lot.”

A wry chuckle escapes him against his better judgement. “I’m sure you have. This is the conference room; every time a new case comes in, we meet here to go over the details. Garcia is currently transitioning us away from paper files, so we should be a little more high-tech in a few months.”

“Penelope, right?” you double check and he nods in answer while you look at the TV screen, chairs, and file folders. “She seems nice. Very bubbly.”

“She’s very nice. Bubbly is a good word for it,” he answers smoothly. Something about you is bringing his guard down, and he hesitates for a moment. “You’ve heard a lot, you said. About the team?”

You shrug one shoulder and follow him out of the conference room and down the stairs to the bullpen. “Some stuff about the team. Some stuff about the leader.”

Hesitancy is written all over your face. Hotch stops walking, forcing you to stop as well. When you make eye contact with him, he raises one eyebrow. Tell me more, it seems to say.

Maybe you’re feeling ballsy because it’s your first day, or maybe something about the arch of that eyebrow makes you want to tell him anything he wants to know. “They just never told me you’d look like that,” you murmur, averting your gaze again. “What’s next?”

That’s… well, it’s not what Hotch was expecting to hear. He files that thought away for later, then puts a hand on your back to guide you towards the cluster of desks that make up the BAU. “We’re full of surprises,” he says quietly, and it doesn’t take a profiler’s eye to see the way goosebumps rise on the back of your neck when you walk in front of him. “Let me introduce you to my team.”

[yourturntosimp]

can u pls do safamiley hcs:D

A/N: hiii,,,,how yall doinggg,,,happy summerrrrrr 💀💀💀 TWs: Manipulation, Guilt tripping, Degrading talk, Mention of/allusions to murder, General toxicity

♡ the gfs ever omg ♡ tbh i feel like they would be kinda on-edge around eachother if this was asu-naro era & before the actual game,,, ♡ like the whole thing is shady as all hell, so i can imagine them working with eachother but never fully trusting eachother in case one of them were to try to damage/sabotage the other’s research to make themself look better,,, ♡ that’s probably the thing that led them to be interested in eachother JHGFDS ♡ idk they seem deranged enough to let that be the driving force im ngl ♡ anyways they’re both 100% manipulating eachother and they think the other has no idea ♡ miley going out of her way to ruin safalin’s social life, because why not ruin the few opportunities she takes to be outgoing and talk to people? ♡ It means she’ll have to spend more time with miley, and also she won’t suffer the mortification of making a fool out of herself like the idiot she is! ♡ after all, what kind of a girlfriend would she be if she didn’t stop safalin from embarrassing herself and making it clear to everyone around how completely and utterly stupid she is? It’s a win for both of them, she’s just being nice <3 ♡ safalin, on the other hand, opts to guilt trip miley and incessantly cling onto her ♡ she’s just too useless & incapable of doing anything by herself! She’ll surely crumble and fall and just ruin everything if miley is away from her for too long, so maybe they should just stick together all the time! ♡ and if that doesn’t work, well…she can always just show her how capable she is as a caring girlfriend! ♡ miley just needs to…mysteriously catch some illness, is all! and safalin, with her knowledge in medicine, will come to her rescue! ♡ they both also get SUPER jealous ♡ the problem here is that they both like to make eachother jealous on purpose,,, ♡ safalin does it if she starts to worry that miley’s getting bored of her and doesn’t care for her anymore ♡ and yk miley wouldnt do shit to reassure her that this isn’t the case bc it keeps her dependant KJHGFCD ♡ miley does it because she likes seeing safalin’s reactions to it ♡ it’s just so fun, seeing that shattered look on her face be immediately replaced with the most potent rage she’s ever seen in her life! ♡ she doesn’t really care about whoever it was that she was using to make her girlfriend jealous…it just sucks that they always scream so loudly </3

[justrandomselfships]

Heather and friends

Yeah I do feel kinda guilty how me writing down literally all of my platonic F/O talk is shorter than the Sylvain post. I just did some general info tho didn't go in too deep

BUT FUCKING HELL I STILL DON'T HAVE A CYRIL TAG

Claude

Heather is affectionate with friends: for Claude she likes to poke him the most.

Yeah they are just >:)

Teasing is their friendship language and dear GOD they don't pass any opportunity.

Ofctheyteaseeachotherabouttheircrushes

They always make up stories of what made them friends. It still is a mystery when and how they became so close.

Claude likes to joke that they became close because they started making bets and she ended up being his temporary poison tester- for example (and that's what he'd be introducing her with to Byleth saying how she's much more durable than she seems)

But I'd be lying if I said she never tried his poisons... The devil in her head won, is what happened.

They also trust each other on an ultimate level. Heather doesn't keep any secrets from Claude but she doesn't expect him to do the same. She's just unable to hide a single thing from him. The millisecond she figures out her feels for Sylvain Claude knows etc.

In time skip when Heather is in AM route she's worrying about her bestie 24/7. Ik I mentioned it in the Sylvain post but it's important to bring it up again. Literally when he sent that letter she was READY to go there all on her own solo the fucking army.

Didn't do CF so can't say what's happening in there. But she'd be devastated to fight Claude ❤️

Hilda

Heather is affectionate with friends: Hilda has the most hugs reserved. They also hold hands when shopping together!

Although they don't really have a lot of common interests they just get each other yk?

They're both lazy, don't like training or fighting and they certainly love cute things.

Heather is one of the few people Hilda doesn't have to worry about in battle... But instead she's concerned with Heather's private life and how she doesn't seem to fight for things she cares about.

Even though she was at first really not convinced with Heather's feelings for Sylvain it didn't take much for her to change her mind. The three often hang out, but only after Heather told Hilda about her crush was when she started to really look at how the two interact.

Heather actually doesn't mind doing Hilda's work every once in a while. When there is a assignment she likes (like stable duty for example) she'd be willing to replace her.

Hilda ofc dolls Heather up whenever they have the chance. Having self-care day is just their favorite thing ever.

You KnOW that she'd be Heather's maid of honor for her wedding with Sylvain. But I'm adding this because it's important to me yk...

If they happen to be apart due to only one of them being recruited to another class, the two continued to send each other letters to make sure they're alright... But after some time they stopped.

Cyril

Heather is affectionate with friends: for Cyril it's mostly patting his shoulder/back. At first he found it odd but when he asked her why she did so she told him that this is how she shows that she appreciates him!

So he started doing the same! How cute.

She doesn't get in his way, but Heather and Cyril's relationship can be compared to Ashe and Cyril's. The difference being that she's somewhat of a sister figure to him.

He often points out Heather's ridiculous standards towards herself compared to others. And each time if hits her like a truck.

Being called out by a 14 y/o is just a shocker lol

Although he doesn't need any protecting, Heather can and WILL scream at anyone making mean comments about him. Especially if him being from Almyra is brought up.

He doesn't really know what to think of her for the most part, but he trusts her and he's not afraid to talk about his troubles with her.

And she'd turn the world upside down to help him! They can always count on each other. But Heather doesn't bother him with her personal problems (stuff like suitor situation), but that's just because she knows how brutally honest he'd be about it. Even if he didn't understand it, he'd still be right.

Buut she wouldn't know about his reading problem, only because it never had to be brought up to be honest.

Hey, I'm a Cy//sithea trash btw. So you know she'd be curious about their bond developing. It's not as in she'd immediately think they're in love. But she was definitely thrilled that he was making more friends! Of course time skip changed some things around so she'd be teasing him just for it to be ineffective he'd be like "Yes, I like her??? Why are you surprised??"

[f4ll3nf34th3r5y5t]

Tw vent (mention of sh/our beloved slide iykwim)

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Im so despairwd rn. I love being honest with my friends. I hate lying. I hate intentionally misleading people without them knowing in what could be a harmful way. But what choice do I have, really. I'm not going to burden some 15 yr olds with the fact I think about hurting myself every time I do something wrong in my eyes or feel dejected or ignored. I can't just tell them 'oh yeah yk when I said I only think about doing it when something really bad happens on a really really bad day? LMAO jk I think about it every week‼️‼️ so silly'. How do I explain that I'm petrified of a relationship and being confessed to to her?? For the record, I'll be mentioning different people differentiated via pronouns. Anyway I can't just tell someone I almost threw up from fear and anxiety a few minutes ago because I thought I might have rabies (spoiler, I don't think so? I can drink water). I don't know a good way to tell my best friend that I can't confide in them and they aren't my most trusted person with stuff like that. For the record we're physically 17. They're newish 15. I don't know a good way to explain how I'd love to tell them everything and be so honest but every time I think about it I get sick at the thought of them feeling how I did. When I was 15, 14, 13, younger. They've got so many burdens already and they don't need to tell me I'm one of them. I already know that. And I get it's part of being social and having relationships but I can't help but feel shit about it. I feel helpless with my mind, I can't be left alone for a minute without wallowing in some kind of despair.

If they see this (doubtful,) then hi. I want to be able to tell you things, when I said I was running myself up a wall I wish I could tell you what I mean. You're asleep so it doesn't matter so much right now. But it's not because you're young, have pressure on top of pressures on you, or because I don't think you can handle it. It's because I can't find it in myself to hate you like that. It takes some kind of trust and something to put that kind of responsibility onto someone. It's almost like a hatred to expose someone to the inner machinations of this thing we call the brain. I don't want you to pity me and I know you would. If I were to answer truthfully when you ask me to. If when we were at dinner I was honest. To for once be totally honest, I'm not doing ok. I won't be. I have no one to unload this on comfortably because it's straining to talk to friends family or even strangers about it and the threat of being thrown into some place if Im honest with the counselor is another thing.

I'm about to get descriptive so get off now when you can.

I called a friend by their real name in a comment section earlier today. I hadn't taken my prozac so my anxiety or general feelings have been as they were for weeks, since I'm out. I deleted the comment obviously and replaced it with their online name but in the moment of pure fear and anxiety I felt horrible. I thought my spine would rupture out of my body with some mind of its own. My veins felt like worms in my skin, I had to claw them out, how I didn't I don't know. I felt so cold and hot at the same time. My fingers feel like they're moving so slow like I'm rusty or something. I almost threw up. I know that's not normal, to want to rip every system out. I profusely apologizef and I still feel like absolute shit. This isn't normal or ok. I'm so grossed out by my urges. I can't stand how I get around anyone even myself. I suppose these stand as some kind of document of my grief.

I can't stand being alive, I can't stand fucking up ever, I can't stand being careful about myself. What if I said every urge out loud? What if I gave into my habits? What then? You'd all hate me. I know you would, that's not just my paranoia. My blood is some kind of dirty sin and I have to get it out. I wonder how I haven't broken my shaving stuff yet. I won't. Not today. I probably need to sit down and talk to my friends but I don't fucking know how. They're all younger than me. Is it even ok to? They're all 15 or younger. I know the burden and fear of knowing you could wake up one day and they could be dead. They could've done something bad. Maybe they aren't eating anymore. Maybe they almost did something. That's a fear that eats away at you because you're too young to do anything. I need to have a talk with them but where would I. No where is safe. Their house, it's akward. Others house, there's stairs and they can't get up those yet and it'll be awkward., my house, no can do someone's always home and if they hear me they'll treat me all crazy again and I might just fucking kill myself if they do that. No one knows any of this. And if I mention I need to have a talk with them and we can't do one that'll eat away at their mind with curiosity. One on ones might be awkward plus if hanging out, which we always are, how do I go about that? I'm so stressed with this shit. I regret living past the things I shouldn't of. I get it's selfish of me- or it is according to my mom. I don't even like my mom. I cry thinking about how I couldn't save her younger self. But I try to reassure myself that her actions don't deserve forgiveness just because she's been through it. She had time to change but she hasn't. I feel like throwing up. Maybe I'm sick. Maybe it's almost my period. Idk. If there's a god, help me. I don't care. I'm not devote, I won't be a good servant or apostle, but I'm loyal to my cause and I keep promises when I can. I can be a dog if you keep my family ok. I just want to be happy, but I want everyone to be happy more so.

The only highlight this month really is apparently I helped them realize what friends are like. True friends. I feel nice about it mostly but I fear I'm misleading.

And I have a fear of being scary to people I know. I promise I'm not heartless or careless or selfish like they all said. Believe in me, please. Love me unconditionally. I will be your most trusted and beloved hound. I'll beckon your every command if you just love me. If you trust me.

I get why people don't trust me don't get me wrong. I'm not exactly a good person. I've stolen, lied, yelled, mocked, judged, etc. if heavens real ill never know. I feel eternally damned. I don't know how to end these posts either

[imakemywings]

This week’s obsession is Feanor’s adolescence.

Timeline thoughts: Miriel died when Feanor was young but I’m tempted to say not so young that he has no memories of her...if he was the Elf equivalent of 3 or 4, he might still have some hazy recollections of her that I think would likely exacerbate his sense of loss. Assuming then that Finwe takes a few years to process this and decide to remarry, I can see Feanor as potentially 11-13 when Indis comes into the picture which means he contended with his father’s remarriage and the birth of his half-siblings and puberty at the same time, which is just a fun terrible time for everyone.

Content thoughts: And just like...obviously Finwe loves the hell out of this kid, but I also tend to think Finwe doesn’t really get him. So he can try his damnedest and still not be able to get through to Feanor that no one is trying to replace him. And even at such times as he might convince him of that, something else will happen later and Feanor will leap back to his original concern and the cycle starts over again. Indis, of course, is the unfortunate focal point around which all of Feanor’s anger about everything that’s happened coalesces, so nothing she can say, no matter how kindly she might try, is ever going to make him feel better about anything and he will always assume the worst of her intentions (also, yk, she does get mad sometimes, because it would only be natural, that Feanor keeps making her and her kids’ lives so unnecessarily difficult, and that he picks up on very well).

Feanor is somebody with big feelings, and I tend to think Finwe and Indis are much calmer, mellower people in general, which means they are not well-equipped to try to help Feanor learn to manage those feelings, and especially not when he’s dealing with the ongoing trauma of losing his mother and his father’s remarriage. They don’t understand why he acts the way he does, although even they can see I’m sure that a great deal of his anger stems from pain, but they don’t know how to calm him down or get through to him.

This is how he ends up screaming at Indis and her kids or saying terrible things to people or breaking shit and then turning around and spending the next hour sobbing in his bedroom because he is convinced they all wish he had died with Miriel. There is possibly also reluctance on his part to really explain his feelings to Finwe, which of course makes it harder to try to help him with them and also makes Finwe underestimate how upset Feanor really is.

(He also has a habit of deeply romanticizing the period between Miriel’s death and Finwe’s remarriage as the time when it was just him and Finwe doing Royal Family Things together. It was a time of intense grief for both of them and Finwe recalls it that way, particularly as the first Elf in Tirion to lose his life partner, but to Feanor, retrospectively it became a time when his dad’s attention was all on him, and not being shared with Indis and her kids.)

So he ends up in this position of really wanting to be part of a family, but also continually assuming his family doesn’t actually want him around (which is not true) and consequently blowing way out of proportion (from the family’s perspective) things that happen that even suggest any of his concerns might be valid (which he’s constantly looking for). It just ends up being this whole mixed bag of a bunch of people with no bad intentions, but a lot of misunderstandings and mismatched emotional needs and messy feelings and it results in a difficult time for everyone.

Therefore, he clings especially tightly to his role as the crown prince and to Miriel’s legacy, and his insistence on her not being forgotten is both to honor her and because he loved her, but also because if Miriel is forgotten, what does that say about his own position? Suddenly more precarious, isn’t it?

That said, I think there were times Feanor was a fun big brother. He was, of course, always curious and testing things and inventing things, so when he was in a good mood, Findis and Fingolfin could convince him to show them what he was working on and sometimes to help him test things, and they really liked hanging out with him then--they just did not understand why he was so angry with them the rest of the time (because of course they were too young to understand, and I don’t know that the concept of death in general would have registered with a couple of Elf kids who had never seen or heard of anyone but Miriel dying before). So to them he was just incredibly unpredictable in temperament which was difficult for them because they never knew what to expect if they approached him.

Now he mellowed out some with adulthood until Melkor showed up, as most of us do, and I think settling into smithing and jewel-crafting and academics helped him feel he had a place where he belonged and that calmed him down a bit, and his friendship and later romance with Nerdanel made him feel that he had someone in his life who both understood him on an intimate level and also was pretty much by default on his side. But his teenager years did set the tone for his relationship with Indis and her kids and did shift his relationship with Finwe and left him with this underlying fear of someday being replaced by the people he cares about.

[incorrect-random-fandom]

How do you think Gwyn's SA will be handled in acotar 5? One side of the fandom treats her SA like sh*t, that is clear, but Sarah herself actually treated it well in my opinion. Given that Sarah does not always treat trauma and addiction (Nesta's drinking problem for example) well, I think she at least did well with Gwyn's trauma in acosf. I'm hoping that Sarah will keep on treating it well. I don't entirely trust her with this though, I'm scared that she will make Gwyn forget all about her SA when she sees Azriel's dick for the first time. I hope acotar 5 won't start with Gwyn suffering from it but then as soon as her and Azriel get into intimacy she would just desperatly want the D and then she no longer has worries. I'm okay if it doesn't take long for Gwyn to get comfortable because yes, everyone heals in their own way and there are many people who rather want to experience sex to replace the bad experiences. I just really hope that her trauma won't just be swept under the rug, yk?

How do you think it will go? This might not be true but what if Gwyn is also ashamed? I mean, there are people in the world that feel like they're not worth anything anymore and not worth marrying because they got taken by people whom they didn't even want to have sex with. What if Gwyn feels worthless and thinks that Azriel wouldn't and shouldn't want to bed her? Feeling unworthy of sex like Azriel feels unworthy of love? If you get what I mean... 😅

This is a tough question, anon, baby.

In a way, I kinda expect SJM to deal with it the same way she deals with every other traumatized character: on a surface level, just deep enough to make the readers feel for them, but not going heavy enough on the trauma topic, and I honestly think that's better than going too in-depth into something that she doesn't have too much knowledge on, because this is such a serious matter, and treating it without the right care and caution could probably hurt readers that have been through SA.

Obviously she can't just erase Gwyn’s trauma to fit into their love story, so she's gonna have to handle Gwyn’s healing delicately, but I hope she will wait until both Az and Gwyn are in a better headspace before they can even think about being in a relationship. I mean, you can see how damaged Azriel is, and we knew it even before his own pov, through the other characters' thoughts, how scarred he is mentally, so a relationship at the moment would just be unhealthy.

This is only my opinion, of course, and I might be totally wrong, I just hope I'm not offending anyone. If I am, please tell me so I can fix my thoughts.

Also, I hope their romance will start off as a deep friendship. A really slow-burn (the slowest of burns, if I'm being honest) friends-to-lovers romance, in which both of them are super competitive and try to outdo the other in every little thing, until they realize they're better as partners, working together to surpass everybody else. They also begin trusting each other enough to talk about their own traumas, starting their healing journey together, but also independently to the other. Nesta and Emerie should also play an immense role in helping Gwyn find herself and learn to love herself again, if what you said about her feeling unworthy of love over what happened to her is true.

And, because I'm a slut for angsty storylines, I also want it to be an unrequited love story, be it on Azriel's side or Gwyn's. Probably Gwyn. So she starts falling for him while he's still pining for you-know-who, and then right when she decides he'll never love her as she loves him, something happens to him and Gwyn is the one to save him (I'm also a slut for heroines that save their heros) and to take care of him, so he begins to see her as more than a friend because no one's ever cared for him the way she does, and no one understands him like her.

One more thing: I AM BEGGING YOU, SARAH J MAAS, PLEASE EXPLORE GWYN’S DARK SIDE. MAKE HER A BADASS BITCH WHO WILL NOT HESITATE TO CUT THEIR ENEMIES — especially if they hurt Az or her sisters —, when she's also an adorable and sassy priestess who will make everyone's days better just by being herself.

Is it too much to ask for her to be just like Lana Myers from the Mindf*ck series? (I told you guys I'm obsessed with my baby Lana)

Maybe I veered off topic a bit, but I'm not too good with words and I just hope you guys will understand what I mean.

(Sorry for any grammatical error, I'm not a native English speaker🥺).

[riddlesrose]

he’s always there

pairing; kaeya

sad??? but then it’s not

can be taken either in a relationship or friendship kinda way it’s basically just comfort

music could no longer drown out the sounds of another argument. the voices weren’t stopping and you were pretty sure you heard a mug or glass get thrown. you didn’t know what it was other than the fact that it shattered. their argument wasn’t even making sense anymore, from one yelling about money to the other yelling about the house or the family. 

with the feeling of your throat closing and your nose starting to warm up, you figured it was the tell tale signs of crying. wiping your eyes before the hot tears fell, you pushed your earbud back into your ear, as it had started to fall. 

looking down at your phone, you noticed a missed call from a name you remember so well, but the fact that you didn’t feel your phone go off made you upset. you didn’t dare call back in fear of either your parents arguments getting through the phone or your voice failing you. so, you opted to text him back. 

hey sorry i didn’t answer your call

(k)no biggie, just calling to see whats up!

he texted back quite quickly. 

just uh how do i put this

ignoring them again

too much is going on lolol

(k)wait… do you mean 

(k)them as in ur parents?

(k)bcs yk you can always come over

…

ure right

can i?

(k)absolutely. i’ll meet you at our spot.

kaeya ran a hand through his hair. these arguments were too often for his liking. he knew your family wasn’t picture perfect but he still didn’t like it. no one did. he’s told his mom about them and she’s always been the kindest woman you’ve ever met. 

as he just about tumbled down the stairs, he just about jumped out of his skin when his mom asked him where he was going in such a hurry. 

he simply replied, “our spot.” not thinking that this was his mom he was talking too. she understood nonetheless. as he took the short way to the meeting spot, which was the park where you two met when you were younger, he spotted you up the street. the park was closer to your house rather than his but he found that in the colder months, he could cut through the field that separated his house to a sports field. 

you caught him striding across the street. under the streetlights, his green sweater was the main focus through your tired eyes. his gentle face somewhat calmed you. 

the walk back to his house didn’t feel short. your legs feeling tired from the lack of stimulation while trying to ignore the fighting didn’t make this any easier. 

you could see the all too familiar house come into view, sighing dully, you felt a light weight around your shoulders. it was kaeya’s jacket. you hadn’t noticed the jean jacket over his sweater. wordlessly, you tucked your hands into the pockets and instantly felt a bit better once again. 

“ ‘m back, with our guest of honor.”

that’s always how he’d let his mom know you were here. “guest of honor.” it was a small slip up he made the first time he brought you over. 

“welcome back you two. let me know if either of you need anything, i’ll be going to bed.”

you met her kind eyes. the eyes that looked like kaeya’s. you nodded and she smiled with a wave. both of you waved back, with your depleting energy, you slumped into kaeya’s side. 

he slid the jean jacket off your shoulders and replaced it with his arm, and led you to the bathroom. 

“wait here for a moment, i’ll be right back.” you nodded.

he returned momentarily, just as promised. now, he had a small cloth and what seemed to either be a sweater or some other article of clothing. he handed you the soft fabric of what you deemed to be a sweater and he told you to take a seat somewhere.

choosing to sit on the edge of the tub, you gazed at him curiously. 

“i’m not letting you go to sleep with the day all.” right. he was pretty big on taking care of ones skin. focusing on face, he was almost professional. he ran his hand under the running water to make sure it wasn’t going to be too hot nor too cold. 

once he got the cloth wet he handed it to you. you rubbed your face, making sure not to pull the skin too hard like he taught you. 

after the both of you had washed your faces, he deemed you were ready to go. 

you knew exactly which door it was, and almost as muscle memory, your feet dragged you to it. the red sweater he had given you earlier was now pulled on and it smelled like him. enough to bring you to a calm state. kaeya walked in moments after you had let yourself fall onto his bed. chest falling up and down, you rolled onto your stomach and heaved a sigh. trying to seem dramatic, your eyes failed you. 

you hadn’t noticed kaeya coming up to the edge where he could sit down. a tender hand ran up your back and back down again. he heard small sniffles and knew you were crying, but hey, after knowing what you went through, he felt as if he could cry too. 

he didn’t dare to say anything too brash or overwhelming and chose to stick to small words. 

you soon found yourself basically dragging kaeya down onto his bed. 

little to nothing had been said between you two, but nothing needed to be. you felt immense gratitude for him and his mother, allowing you to come over so late. 

the hand on your back never stopped making you feel safe. even if it was just stationary, you felt grounded; felt loved. 

your head, which rested upon his chest, rose and he cocked his head to the side, as to silently question you. honestly, you just wanted to look at kaeya. he made you feel all kinds of things; good things. 

you inhaled, wiped your eyes again, then exhaled. kaeya’s free hand came up to your face and wiped the stray tear you missed. you leaned into his touch and he smiled again for the hundredth time that night. you’ve told him how much you love his smile, maybe that’s why he keeps doing it. 

kaeya swiped his thumb across your cheek again and you closed your eyes, as if ready to fall asleep in his hand. you felt his tummy flex for a moment as he leaned forwards and pressed a light kiss to your forehead. your eyes shot open and he laughed quietly, as to not disturb anything around him. you took a moment to realize what he did and tucked your head back against his chest. he could feel you smiling against him, like a goof. forgetting about the reason you came over, you both fell into a warm, welcoming slumber.

all writing is my own, no reposts, edits or translations.

[aetheternity]

hola 😎 i have a request for ya! which i do hope you like cause I literally spent hALF aN hoUR thinking of how it should go... anyWAYS, i’m gonna request it rn cause why not? .. anyways—maybe a hc for Levi, Armin, Erwin, Mikasa, and Pieck; their S/O’s favorite memories with them are playing in their mind. They wished it happened again. people thought they (they = pieck, levi, armin - yk)—people thought they went crazy. out of their mind insane. They do often smile, when they hear their S/O’s laugh. They cry when they hear their S/O’s screams. They couldn’t save them in time. they were now dead. // now do keep in mind, that this all happened weeks after their S/O’s death. they felt so useless at the fact that they couldn’t save them in time. the one they loved the most.. totally wasn’t crying while thinking of this shdjf

(Not gonna lie had to read this request a couple times cause I was confused. Hope this is what Anon wanted.)

Erwin

•Being a commander he'd seen way too many people die but never had he ever been this close to one of them.

•When his S/O passed away he'd spent most of his time in his office, burying himself in insane amounts of paperwork.

•Probably isolates from Hange and Levi for a while as well.

•That is until his S/O's memories start to pop up in his head.

•At first he thinks he's just lucid dreaming but soon the "dreams" become too realistic to ignore.

He's listening to his S/O laughing at his corny jokes again.

He's seeing his S/O pout at him when he's still in his office after hours.

His S/O's smile shines so bright and so deep he can practically reach out to touch them all over again.

•After the third occurrence of these "dreams" he's going to Hange.

Levi immediately tells him he's gone insane.

Hange is definitely laughing the second he brings up the idea that his S/O's memories were transferred to him.

(Kinda weird how judgey they are when they fight man eating giants and have a literal titan on their team but ok.)

•More people find out and of course they don't take it too seriously but Erwin always feels his heart race when he gets a new memory of his S/O.

•He'd put his head down on his desk. Or lay back in his chair to watch every bit of it unfold.

•He's slowly repressed the image of his S/O's bloodied corpse from weeks prior. The sound of their screams and replaced them with every memory he now possesses from them.

•They're his little gifts.

Pieck

•She's got pictures of her S/O in so many different situations all over the place. In her titan, in her room, some kept in her wallet.

•Hasn't taken down not one since they died.

•Probably started contributing less to any conversations she had with any of her fellow comrades.

•Tho Reiner and Porco refuse to leave her side for too long.

She'll ask them for an hour alone and less than a minute after the hour is up there they are.

They just know how painful these kinds of situations are and even if Pieck's not crying in front of them they can see the pain in her eyes.

•She's secretly glad for their support.

•When she starts seeing her S/O's memories she probably cries the first couple times.

Doesn't tell Porco and Reiner or anyone for that matter until they walk in on her sobbing her eyes out while holding something precious of her S/O's

Porco thinks she's lost it but Reiner is immediately trying to reason and understand what she thinks she's seeing.

•Slowly but surely she's allowing herself to feel everything she'd been holding back once she sees her S/O squeezing the life out of a cute stuffed bear she'd gotten them. The smile on their face etched into her memory all over again.

•Everyone is definitely still confused about what she thinks she's seeing because she didn't.. eat her S/O???? But they've grown to just accept it.

Mikasa

•This girl has spent weeks after her S/O died in a state of Libero

•She's there but she's not there.

•It shows on her face to Eren and Armin but like everyone else is kinda just seeing the normal Mikasa.

•As soon as she has nothing going on. She's in bed under the covers or sitting at her S/O's grave.

Falls asleep there from time to time and has to be brought back inside. (Probably by Jean/Armin.)

•When she starts to see her S/O's memories she's kinda awestruck.

Sees her S/O falling asleep on her shoulder but it's not from her point of view??

She's so confused but for the first time since the night after she couldn't save them she actually sleeps through the whole night.

The beautiful memory of her S/O's hair flowing in the wind now a distant memory.

•She wakes up to her tears staining her pillow, hair a wild mess and Armin and Eren standing over her.

She'd managed to over sleep somehow.

•When she tells Armin and Eren they're skeptical to say the least. Armin is trying to figure out how something like that could be possible while Eren is doubting it and saying Mikasa was dreaming.

•But to her it was so real.

•She'd felt her S/O for the first time since they’d died so many weeks ago. Somehow.

Armin

•Armin is breaking down left and right.

Sometimes over breakfast

Sometimes after training

•Poor boy is a hot mess. He can't get those screams out of his head. Watching your body slowly crumble away. Your blood spilling over the ground as a titan devoured your quickly draining corpse.

•Sometimes he just holds his head in his arms and rocks back and forth.

He couldn't do anything and now you're gone for good.

•He's got titan memories sure but after a while yours start to pop into his head too.

•He loses his breath as he sees you in his arms again, nuzzling into his chest laughing into his skin.

•He just breaks down again.

•He's like.. "explaining" what he's seeing to the rest of the squad through like tears and muttled breaths and everyone except Mikasa is all like 🤔🤨

•And then Mikasa translates and she's like, "He's seeing his S/O's memories.

•Literally no one has the heart to tell him that it makes no sense. The poor boy's been a mess for weeks. 😭

•They kinda just.. all accept it and like Eren even starts to ask what Armin had seen that day or that night.

•Eventually they think either Armin is really keeping up this charade or he's genuinely got his S/O's memories lodged in his noggin with Berthot's

•And honestly it's better this way because he's functioning so much better now.

Levi

•Spends the first couple weeks being oddly silent.

•He's buried in paperwork anytime anyone sees him in his office. (Like Erwin)

•Erwin and Hange made an attempt. And by attempt I mean Hange went in when Erwin told her to just leave Levi alone and Levi kicked her to the curb.

•Boy gets all soft late at night. Curled up in his chair with the pillow his S/O slept on and his eyes full of tears. Rocking himself as he envisions their voice, their hands..

•And then suddenly he's not anymore

•They're in his memories!

Or well.. their memories are in him.

•He's watching them cry about tough training as they curl into his lap.

•He's seeing their eyes sparkle as he hands them tea.

•If it were possible to hug a memory he would.

•He's not telling a living soul about these memories that aren't his popping into his brain

Because he doesn't need to be told he's probably imagining it.

Because he's got something beautiful to hold on to

Because they're his soulmates precious last gifts to him and they'll die with him.

•Hange definitely finds out something though but oddly enough she's as chill as she can be.

•Levi's little secret is safe with her.

[zozophoenixxx]

Serotonin Booster :D 🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Race to the Edge ✨

SEASON 5

Meatlug and Toothless messing around in ep1 when Hiccup and Fishlegs are trying to figure out how to stabilize the island 🥺

I remember when I first watched this I was actually in bio and hearing Ruff and Tuff talk about symbiosis was like " WOW IM LEARNING THAT" 😂😂😂

Symbiotic relationship - symbiosis is the interaction between organisms living in close physical association to the advantage of both

It can lead to -> parasitism - a non-mutual symbiotic relationship between species where the parasite benefits at the expense of the host

- Hookfang and Snotlout have a parasitic relationship JAHDHAHSHA

wait I like that instead of calling a relationship toxic now imma be like "this shii is parasitic peace out ✌🏼️"

HICCSTRID FOREHEAD KISSES OMG😭

I like how Barf and Belch are incredibly strong, I feel like it's a fact that's usually ignored about them

Astrid: *talking about Garf* that dragon has a lot of fight in him

Hiccup: *while placing his hand on her shoulder* he's not the only one

I can't ok I love them too much 🥺

WAIT I JUST NOTICED THE FORESHADOWING WHEN THE TWINS WERE REFERRING TO JOHAN AS A PARASITE OMG 😳

THE BETROTHAL NECKLACE 😭😭😭

Fishlegs licking Astrid's hand is hilariousss nonono it's just that scene in general when Fishlegs is trying to help Astrid find the betrothal gift for Hiccup and she judo-flips him and then sits on him like 🤔

Sandbuster - doesn't like the light. Lives underground.

Astrid riding Toothless to save Hiccup. Just badass.

Hiccup giving Astrid the betrothal necklace and telling her that it's ok that she didn't get him anything bc she's the best gift in the world 🥺

And their hug and the way he moved her out of harm's way whenever Snotlout threw the sword

Still sad abt Shattermaster being replaced by the Triple Stryke

I really liked ep3 whenever they were in Berserker island bc we got to see them actually fighting in battle without their dragons it was pretty cool

The beginning of ep4 is also hilarious I can't with Astrid and Snotlout fighting and then also Astrid beating him up JAHDHAHSHA

- I also always wanted to know what Snotlout said to her 😭😭😭 all of them were just extremely concerned and shocked and Snotlout even had to leave the Edge UGH AHZHZHAG

Atali and the Wingmaidens 👏🏼🤩

"Males would neither understand, nor would they be helpful." Atali is a queen

Vanaheim - the last resting place of all dragons

"Sadness is a matter of perspective. It is how you choose to view something that makes it happy, scary, intriguing, or sad"

Ok so is Stormfly a tracker-class dragon or a sharp-class dragon?

Sentinels - Know all the dragons so they know how to deal with each of their tactics. Run Vanaheim. Have never encountered night furies. Good trackers. Blind. They tend to the island

OMG I FORGOT THAT VANAHEIM IS THE SKELETON OF THE KING OF DRAGONS

HAND HOLDING AND KISSES UFFF THANK U

Hiccstrid kiss count: 3😘

It's the way it's so realistic too, the way he smiles at her, the way he holds her hand and looks at her, the way she puts her hand on his chest and he lightly touches it with his free hand I just can't they're too perfect

Snotlout's excitement to see that Fishlegs was Fishlegs again and not Thor Bonecrusher- I mean the dude went running towards him🥺

I love how Hiccup just knows when Astrid's thinking about something

SPARRING HICCSTRID UGHHH I LOVE THIS SCENE

The way he's just in such a good mood afterwards 🥺

The scene leading up to the moonlight flight in ep7. I love them so much.

Hiccstrid Scene: ep7 min 5:42 -> 7:24

Meatlug's shot was the first to free a Singetail from a dragon flyer

Just realized that Johan not being able to get Hiccup's oil was probably also part of a plan to get them away from the edge to attack

Ok but Snotlout actually taking the initiative to be the leader while Hiccup and Astrid were away

The edge 🥺and when he destroyed his own Hut 🥺 I can't 🥺

I love how Mala and Throk were both trying to put the gang in a better mood

Silicates makes Meatlug drool

Tuffnut's Spanish is amazing we love to see a bilingual king✋🏼👑

Just realized that Krogan's name is well... Krogan. I never actually paid attention to the dude.

OMG WE GET TO SEE DRAGO IN THIS SEASON THIS IS CRAZY

I really like the twins in the Wings of War Episodes, the way they attempt to speak Spanish and start pronouncing the Rrrrrrrrs

Spitelout too lmao the way he helped Hiccup 🤩

It was also Spitelout the one that figured out that the Singetails don't like the altitude

I really love how Hiccup actually found a way to fight the flyers without hurting the Singetails, OMG IT REMINDS ME OF AANG when everyone was telling him to just kill the FIRELORD he found the right way

Tuff has a feet fettish

Stormfly and Garff messing around is too funny I love them sm 😭

Snotlout can be so sad sometimes

The twins singing >>

And that hug between Stormfly and Garff, they're just adorable 🥺🤧

HAHDHSHAHA THE WAY ASTRID LOOKED AT FISHLEGS WHENEVER THE SLITHERWINGS SHOWED

Slitherwings - very poisonous dragons! Even their skin is coated in poison. Like snake appearance. Not much is known about its poison and how it works but there is an antidote -> combination of angel fern root, pine sap and Slitherwing venom. The skin coating protects them from Garff's amber

Stormfly is such a badass omg I love her sm the way she protected Garff

Garff is an excellent shot according to Fishlegs

Fishlegs telling Astrid to look at him is just adorable, the way he wanted her to feel better 😭

Have I mentioned how much I love lil Hiccstrid moments? They dont even have to be romantic but just them? Like he just lightly touched her shoulder and told her to be strong and be there for Stormfly 🥺

Snotlout actually being worried about Astrid 🤧

I will never get over Astrid and Stormfly's relationship and how close they are, they would do anything for each other and Astrid just proved that by going up to the Slitherwing and PUNCHING THE LIL SHIT just to get Stormfly the antidote. AND WHEN SHE STARTED CRYING!!! As Tuffnut said "no one has ever prepared us for something like this"

And the Ruffnut being there for her and protecting her 😭😭😭

Astrid can actually draw

Still pissed about the fact that Hiccup never knew Astrid got poisoned NOW I NEED TO READ A FANFIC ON IT

That scene in Snuffnut [ep11] where Throk arrives to take Ruffnut as his wife is too funny. The way Astrid is pissed since the beginning and both Hiccup and Fishlegs are like "umm nope" AND WHEN HICCUP TAKES ASTRID OUT OF THE SCENE AND ALL YOU CAN HEAR IS HIM SCREAMING AND THESE RANDOM NOISES 😩😩😩😂

It really bothered me that Astrid had to stay behind in Looking for Oswald... And Chicken [ep12] just to take care of the twins when we could've had some Hiccstrid 😩😭 but it makes sense because Astrid is the only one Hiccup can actually trust on to keep things under control because even though Fishlegs is kinda sane neither the twins nor Snotlout would listen to him and Snotlout would definitely join the twins or just make things worse somehow. I mean they've both proven themselves to be fully capable but well- yk... Astrid is just Astrid

Astrid and Stormfly's faces whenever the twins said they needes a dragon that loves tracking and chicken😭😂😩

Chicken covering her tracks and Snotlout as narrator 😂

Omg Dagur saw Oswald's dead body... He even had to bury him and wow-

Grim Gnashers - hunters that prey on the sick dragons in Vanaheim.

Chicklet����🐥🐥🐥

SNOTLOUT'S TAN LINE OMGGG

"Please let me hurt him. Please? Just-- just a little?"JAHSHAHAJAJ I LOVE AGGRESSIVE DAGUR

Fishlegs saying that "Snotlout can actually be pretty handy in an air battle" is so true. Like we mostly see Snotlout as this dumb, sarcastic, rebellious dude who doesn't care about anyone but himself and but that's actually not true he's actually caring and will fight for the ones he loves but he won't say that because he cares too much about what others think of him 😭

I really dislike Johan sm u guys don't understand like I used to like him and feel bad whenever ppl cut him short but ughhhhhhh it's the subtle things too like him telling Heather to give them the dragon eye, him screaming in Snotlout's ear, not extending his hand to grab Heather, and him putting his hand out to "grab" the lens but just causing Snotlout to drop it

The way Heather jumped to get Windshear and the way Windshear kept telling her to leave and save herself

Archipelago gold = The clouds of corn = pop corn

I can't believe I'm about to start season 6 this is actually so sad

[henqtic]

"𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘏𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘚𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 ”

Summary: Draco making you feel better about your hair insecurities throughout your years at Hogwarts.

Word Count: 3.7k+

A/N-hey well this is the first fic I’ve ever written and I don’t think it’s too good but please leave some feedback I would really appreciate it :) just looking forward to improving, this story includes a black/POC reader I just feel that there’s not a lot of stories that actually include us yk ? Because I don’t think I’m able to just put my hair up in a messy bun and go out lol.//ALSO there's no Voldemort and some of the years/dates will be off but I don’t think that matters much in this story:)

masterlist //  taglist form.

“It’s a toner” “for your hair”,she concluded in a way that was almost innocent but didn’t cover up the obvious amusement in her tone. Her box braids were flowing behind her, the two different colors blending together in a way to almost resemble Narcissa Malfoys. It was more of a Draco decision, he went on for months saying how if you got white hair you would look like an honorary Malfoy. Which he was already planning on making you sooner or later. 

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“Darling your fascination with these muggle products is getting out of hand. Are you ill? Oh merlin, maybe it’s that muggle flu,”he said as he put a hand on your forehead.

In his defense he was actually worried about you.You owled him with a note that read

Dear Draco,

I think I’ve just found the best bloody gift ever,I was just walking around one of those muggle stores and found i! I don’t want to ruin the surprise but the I just thought of you when I saw it.

love, y/n.

He honestly expected a bag of green apples that you two shared a liking of but never in a million years did he expect you to show up with purple bottle labeled as “Purple Shampoo”.And what hurt most is that he was the first person you thought of when you looked at it.Of course he was the only platinum blonde you had seen with such bright hair, other than Luna Lovegood. But he was still deciding on if he should take offense or not.

“No Draco, I’m perfectly fine” You stated as you stated his hand away like a fly.“I just think that your hair may need a bit of toning to it.” You said as you looked at your boyfriend, he really did look beautiful in the sun.

The way the sun would bounce off of his skin and hair giving him this sort of glow.The way he ever so slightly had his eyes squinted because he could barely see when it was this bright outside.He was really a sight to see.He wore a faint smile that made your stomach erupt with butterflies every time you saw him, even now.

You told him that if he continued to bully Harry on how his glasses made him look like Dumbledore without a beard would come back to him.And of course it did.

You were sitting beside Draco under a tree at his family's manor.The sky had a few clouds but nonetheless it was sunny there were butterflies flying around and  variations of colors of flowers all around you.You had helped Narcissa plant some of the flowers and it was nice to see how it all came out.

 “I think my hair looks perfectly fine, why would I want to “tone it” He looked at you as if you had personally insulted his mother.

“Draco, darling, your hair is almost brighter than the sun” you said and you were so close to bursting out in laughter.

He looked at you faking an offended expression.

“Most likely stiffer than the grass we’re sitting on at this moment” 

“oh that’s enough” at that moment he shifted his weight over to you and started to tickle you non stop.

“Please I’m sorry I take back all of my words” you said in out of breath tone.Your laugh was probably the best sound to him.

He continued with his antics, “say my hair is the most beautiful this world” it wasn't even a second thought to him to follow up with a,“other than yours of course” he always had a way of making you feel appreciated for the multiple ways you did your hair through out your school years and even now.

Fourth Year

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In the summer before your fourth year at hogwarts,you had decided that you wanted to try something new and get locs. It was something you always thought of but never really got the courage to do.

You always would just tell yourself “I think I’d miss my hair, even if doing it is a pain I’ll never stop loving it.”

That changed.Of course you’d missed your hair but getting locs, something you've been anticipating for a long time sounded a bit more exciting than doing your hair everyday.

It was finally the Gryffindor vs Slytherin quidditch game.Everyone had been looking forward to this.Every Slytherin, Gryffindor game always involved some sort of drama and it was the best.That day was nice up until it was completely and utterly ruined.

When the game was over Pansy Parkinson had shouted out to you and Angelina Johnson that your hair looked of worms.Angelina Johnson was probably the only Gryffindor you could put up with.Maybe it was because of the fact that she was an older black girl with her natural hair out and you desperately wanted tips on how to make yours look like hers.You and Angelina had quickly became friends in your first and her third year.She was more of a sister figure for you and when she went on about how nice Fred looked this year and the next you went on about how annoyingly hot Draco got third year She had teased you endlessly for it but you really couldn’t help it.

You didn’t know why it hurt so much coming from her but when that happened you were so close to crying.You were going to say something until Ginny Weasley said some very choice words to Pansy that left her as red as a tomato and she ran of the pitch.For someone with so much bark she absolutely no bight after that, you thanked Ginny and she responded with saying “There’s no reason to thank me Parkinson needed someone to finally give it to her” She then went up to Harry Potter and said he did good in the game.

“I don’t know if she knows her crush on him is obvious” You thought as you and Angelia walked back to the castle together planning on how to get Pansy back.

You heard the girl beside you try to stop a laugh from coming out so you just assumed you said that out loud.as always.

”Do you know what she has against you?”Angelina asked 

Even though Pansy was in your house she never much liked you for some reason.

“I think it’s from first year when I slapped her hand off of my hair.” You laughed “She was playing with the beads as if they were some kind of toy”

“She absolutely deserved it!” Angelia responded with a laugh.

(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) 

Much to you and Angelina’s dismay someone had gotten to Pansy before you.She ran into the great hall shrieking and when you looked the first thing that came to mind was low quality Medusa.Her long thin black hair now replaced with black worms.Everyone in the great hall was laughing at her condition.Even many of the Slytherins you were surrounded by, it was almost sad how her own house didn’t like her. almost.

Why would she even come into the great hall looking like that? You thought out loud on accident.You really needed to work on that.It wasn’t much of a problem though, because many of your pupils next to you nodded mindlessly at your statement in agreement.

You had guessed Angelina had told Fred about the incident, he told McGonagall, or as he said Minnie (you didn’t know how he even got to that level),and she must have informed the other teachers.

She ran out of the great hall when she noticed no one not even a teacher was going to help her.Not even her own head of house, it was nice to know that Snape was on your side on this you felt pretty bad now when in class all you thought about was how greasy his hair was and how you should probably anonymously drop off some shampoo for him.

“Hey maybe I should tell the twins about that one.Nope y/n you are a nice person who does nice things you thought as you tried to remove the voice that told you that’s Snape would mostly likely like some Muggle Brand “Head and Shoulders Shampoo” Although you’d never be caught dead using it, it could never hurt to try it on someone else.y/n stop.Nice thoughts.”Oh but imagine him trying to put his hair up and the hair tie is too greasy to ho-” You decided to turn your attention to something more valuable at that point.

The real question was who had done it.You turned over to the Gryffindor table.Your back had been facing Angelina’s.You two always did this seeing as many students at school didn’t know that touching someone’s hair randomly without even asking was weird.Angelina had found a solution saying “We should sit with our backs facing each other,Then no one from the other table can random tug at our hair.” You agreed to the idea saying that it was brilliant.

You asked with a giddy expression asking her “did you do it without me?” 

She shook her head and said “no maybe it was Fred or George”.

You would’ve thought that the girl was drugged up on love potion seeing how  easily she forgot what she was about to ask and looked at Fred with heart eyes going on about a completely different topic.

You rolled your eyes with a smile and looked around the great hall and your eyes landed on him.He was already looking at you.Your hair.You made the decision of adding gold accessories to it today. Angelina had had a long talk with you saying how “Parkinson was only jealous because the last remotely good hairstyle she had was the bob in your third year” You decided that you still wanted to add something to your hair to make yourself feel better.Not for the acceptance of the others and how they think your hair “should look”.

When he finally looked into your eyes you raised your eyebrows in expectance.You were almost waiting for him to say some sort of mean comment about you.

The truth was Draco was absolutely enthralled by you.He liked how when in first year you came into school with your hair in braids and beads of light brown, dark brown, and white beads.He liked when in second year you started to wear your hair out more often.The way it would always smell of Shea or Coconut.

But who was he to go up to a random person who barely knew him and say “oh your hair smells really nice”

He noticed how other kids would sometimes touch your hair and you obviously didn’t like that.You noticed that Draco wasn’t going to make some sort of mean comment you realized it was him who did it.You mouthed a “thank you” with a grateful smile and Draco nodded and smiled warmly.

(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) 

Weird thing is Draco probably gained his crush on you when he said saw that you two had both used an excessive amount of gel in your hair.

It was a dark time, second year, for you, and your hair, where slick backs were the only real things you knew how to do to style your hair.You wanted so badly to be like the other girls in your house who don’t even have to try with getting their hair up in the morning.Draco didn't mind though.

He liked when in third year you decided to wear your hair in an afro. He hated when he found you in a corner crying because some slytherin boys had said how your hair was “Worse than poor mudblood Grangers”.

Third Year

(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

He liked when he made up a story to his father and got the boys detention in the forbidden forest with Hagrid.He liked when he charmed a butterfly hair clip that he had charmed to flutter it's wings and left it on the outside of your dorm door.He had hoped none of your roommates would get to it before you did.

As he walked down the stairs and said in almost incoherent tone “They better not bloody get to it before her. What idiot would possibly think a flat golden butterfly clip y/n’s favorite animal was theirs? Merlin and who in their right mind would think that a baby blue box with the name y/n on it in golden letters was theirs?”

“Honestly” he scoffed as he continued down the steps he was met with Blaise Zambini’s wide grin.They walked side by side in silence until Blaise spoke up.

“Mate you’re absolutely whipped, sneaking to her dorm before she wakes up to drop off a clip?” He turned over to Draco and was met with a scowl that looked like it could kill.It didn’t phase him though and he continued with a wide grin.

(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

Blaise had known his friend had some infatuation with the girl ever since their second year when y/n passed by them and Draco leaned over and asked in an anxious tone,”Hey Blaise do ya think it'd be weird to tell someone their hair smells good”.

They had been working on finishing their potions essay and when he looked up he was met with a sight of his friends head in his hand as he admired you from across the common room.

Blaise obviously didn't want him to ruin his chance before he even got one, he smirked and answered with,”Mate.Yes.Don’t do that.” He looked over at Draco in a side eye way.Of course Draco didn’t notice he was too busy staring at you as you talked with Daphne Greengrass about with boy you think is the cutest at Hogwarts.He was trying to get closer to hear your response, in the process almost tipping over his ink. Blaise grabbed the ink swiftly and said in a stern tone ”I’m not kidding, that’d be bloody weird.”

“Right, it would be” he said in an almost dazed tone as he shook his head and went back to writing his potions essay.

(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

He liked you when you walked into the great hall ten minutes late with your group of friends.You had a slicked back ponytail with the clip right on the right side of it.

He liked you when he heard you say to your friends “Godric I’m telling you guys I love the person who gave me this clip” You said as you took the clip out your hair with a bright smile that in Draco’s opinion could make guy swoon “and get this the wings move, isn’t that brilliant?”

He was overjoyed that you seemed to enjoy the new presence of the butterfly clip.Blaise nudged him and widened his eyes.Draco finally got out of his daze and noticed you gave him a smile he quickly smiled back and looked down trying to hide the blush on his face as he looked down at his plate.

He could hear Blaise snickering on the side of him muttering something about “its sad you can’t just tell her already”

Fifth Year

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Draco was never the guy on the other end of the bullying but when Profferer Moody had transformed him into a ferret he was completely humiliated.He quickly responded with a harsh “My father will hear about this!”

That’s when he noticed you at the front of the crowd with almost tears in your eyes as you told McGonogall what happened.You really did always look perfect in his eyes.Your melanated skin was shining in the sun practically counting off the sun and that shimmering butterfly clip halfway flying around on your hair.Something about you just couldn’t stop Draco from looking admiring you.He decided to run and probably go hide somewhere from all of the humiliation.He was running so fast probably crying at this point over what happened that he couldn’t even hear some footsteps following him and few minutes later.

He was sitting down in some old nook in the castle crying of humiliation. Muttering words of “How dare he stick me down of all people bloody Crabbe’s pants” and “Godric in front of her too”.

He could barely hear the small and careful “Hi” you gave to him.

He quickly looked up with a harsh glare and when he noticed it was you his eyes softened and he responded with a small “Hey”.He then put his face back into his hands hoping that you would just go away. Even if he wanted you to stay.

“Merlin, she really is seeing me like this,” He thought.

He felt her sit by him and their legs practically touching.When she touched he flinched a bit at the contact.His father and mother did love him but his dad Lucius didn’t exactly show it through physical touch and he obviously couldn’t get his mum to come to the school and give him some kind of goodnight hug could he?

“Oh I’m sorry,I probably shouldn’t have done that,” She spoke in a rushed and apologetic tone as she started to move over to give him space.

“No you’re fine just not used to it is all” y/n felt herself saddened at those words and took it as an invitation to grab one of his hands and lace their fingers together.

At this point Draco felt like he was going to explode and even if his hands were wet from his tears he wasn’t about to pull his hand away.”Um, Draco, I just wanted to say that Moody had no right doing that” “Teachers aren’t even aloud to that here, even though you were coming after potter no one deserves that.

“Thanks for coming to comfort me, it really erm, means a lot from you” He said as he looked down at your hands the paleness of his and the brown tones of your contrasting against each other. The sight really did make his stomach erupt with butterflies but all Draco could come up with was he felt sick but a good sick.The girl he liked didn’t laugh at him when he got turned into a bloody ferret and she actually took the time to check up on him. That was enough for him.

“I’m happy it does” you said as you looked foward with a small content smile.They sat in a comfortable silence for a few seconds before y/n spoke “If it means anything,I think you make an adorable ferret” y/n said with a small laugh.Draco let out a breathy laugh and before he could even think he blurted out “Your hair smells really nice” 

Really Draco he thought you get her to sit next. to you, hold your hand, and you told her hair smells good?? Why can’t we just listen to Blaise Godric wha-” His racing thoughts were interrupted by y/n.

“Oh-Um well thank you” She responded with a small nod and a content smile and she knew this was the time.She turned to the boy beside her and said “you were the ones to get those boys detention for me right”

Draco looked up at her for the first time since she sat down eyes red and wide.He became a rambling mess and started to awkwardly state, “Well erm y-you know I just thought they deserved it b-becau-”

“And I’m also assuming you’re the one to give this clip?” She interrupted with the brightest smile her and Draco now looking at each other.

“Well erm-yes” he said meekly. He was still holding your hand resisting the urge to look down at them forever.

“How’d you know?” You said eagerly. Draco looked at you a bit confused until you said “How’d you know that a butterfly is my favorite animal?” 

Draco started to gain some confidence and said “Well I had been having a bloody crush on you since first year so I thought it was only appropriate to know your favorite animal at least ” He hadn’t noticed what he had just revealed as he continued to tell y/n things.“I’m really sorry about the hair comment too” He rambled “It's just that I've been waiting to get that compliment in since second year.” He mumbled in a way that was almost too low to hear then spoke up,“Blaise told me it was rather odd and that I shouldn’t tell you th-” 

That’s when he noticed her face.As if he hadn’t been admiring her for the past five years of his school life.She wore a look that was giving off all different kinds of emotions but the one that was mainly seen was happiness and appreciation.

“Godric no” y/n breathed out “I think that’s the best sort of compliment I could get” Draco looked at her brightly then she continued “and well” She started looking down at their entangled hands “I’ve liked you for a long time too” “If you wanted to know” She looked up at him and he was in a sort of shock? It was like he was waiting for her to say “only joking” and run away like one of the weasels.but she didn’t.

“Draco” She said in a singsong tone as she waved a hand in front of his now almost red face.

“Merlin” he breathed out with the brightest smile he could make “Well in that case IwaswonderingifyouwouldliketgotoHogsmeadewithme” He said in the fasted way he could ready to repeat it before she chirped back a quick, “Yes! Of Course!”

“I-” Draco started to repeat, “Wait you understood that?” He spoke back with an inquisitive look.

“I mean if you don’t want me to say yes-” She teased with a sly grin.

“No,I mean yes,I like that you like me and that you’re going to go to Hogsmeade with me,” he affirmed in a rushed manner. 

“Perfect!” She responded “How about we go clean you up then yea?”

“Right, that’ll be for the best,” he said with a small smile.

They shyly held hands the rest of the way walking to the prefects bathrooms and y/n helped clean up Draco. They finally talked with one another and Draco finally got the girl he was going after for five years.

Present Time

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“Fine fine alright” You sighed in defeat.

“Draco Malfoy your hair is THE most beautiful thing in this world.”

He had stop attacking you at this point and you two were in a criss cross position in front of each other, you were holding his face in both of your hands and the both of you were smiling like absolute idiots.

He looked at your with a grin that he was failing at trying to hide with a pointed expression.

You rolled your eyes and said “except for mine of course”

Draco Malfoy was by far the most dramatic person you’ve ever met in your life.

One day you were in a bookshop and told him that if he went to a muggle school he would be an spectacular theatre kid.Draco for some reason had taken that to great offense and went on saying how “his own bloody girlfriend doesn’t love him” and how “she thinks I’d be in some sort of theatrical arts like Pottah and his unruly ballet”

You honestly didn’t know if Draco was trying to be funny on purpose sometimes or if the things he said just flowed out like silk unlike his hair.

Now you sat under the big tree in the Malfoy Manor garden with Draco’s head on your lap, taking about how just because the conditioner is apple scented it doesn't make it any less bad for your hair.

A/N- hey lol, Anyways this is my first fic. I would really like any constructive criticism, anything you noticed off, or anything that you think needs improvements.I really haven't written anything non school related in a long time and I really want to get back into it :) 

Also it might just be me but if any one gave a comment on my hair and it included “your hair smells good” I would just dies on spot.maybe that's just me lol.Lastly, if you didn’t know I based using a bunch of gel in your in a second year off of myself lol so let’s just say my hair was not the best.Anyways have a good night or day <3

[serendipityseulgi]

8 Ways of Love;

— park seonghwa

according to the ancient greeks, there are eight different types of love. here is:

･*:༅｡ the one known as pragma, the enduring love.

aka, the kind of love that matures and develops over a long period of time, and somewhat rare to find. 

8 ways of love series; version i

A love story that shows the progression of yours and seongwha’s relationship from the moment you two become friends, to lovers, to exes, and everything else in between. 

love catalyst: the subconscious.

At the age of six years old you declare Park Seonghwa to be your boyfriend, solidifying your “relationship” with a hug.

“Eww, y/n, you have cooties!” your best friend barks, pushing you off him.

“Wha- hey no I don’t!” you squeak.

“Yes you do because Mingi told all the boys not to touch the girls because they have a disease and it’s going to eat our bodies alive!” he practically screeches getting up from the sandbox about to walk away from you.

“Seonghwaaa he’s lying!” you whine out and he huffs turning around to face you.

“Well all the other boys are listening to him so he has to be right.” 

“Well I touched you yesterday when we were playing tag and you’re fine!” you defend. “And if all girls have cooties then how come your mommy still hugs and kisses you goodbye in the morning? Wouldn’t you be dead now?”

Even at the age of 6 you were the biggest smartass Seonghwa knew.

After a moment of deliberation, he sighs. “Okay fine, you’re right.” your friend huffs. 

“So are you gonna back so we can play again?” you ask, arms crossed over your little body. 

Seonghwa nods before grabbing onto your hand to drag you back into the sandbox. 

The two of you return to making your sandcastle and it’s only a mere two minutes later does your friend speak up.“Am I actually your boyfriend now?” he asks suddenly and you whip your head towards him.

“Well I hugged you so yeah.” you roll your eyes at him and his soft little laugh makes your tiny heart jump.

Within the next week you two forget you’re “boyfriend-and-girlfriend” and go back to being the best friends you’ve always been, playing in the sandbox after school, watching cartoons at your house, and never missing a single dinner together while your parents listen to the two of you talk your little heads off.

For the record, there wasn’t much of a difference in your so-called relationship and your friendship in the first place when you were just six years old.

 At thirteen years old, your best friend confesses he likes you.

“Okay I know this is weird because, I should see you as like, a sister or something, I don’t know!” Seonghwa rants, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you watch him frantically explain the way he feels about you.

“You know what I mean though? You’re like, practically family to me! Right? Right...” you figure he’s talking more to himself than to you as he asks himself questions that he’s quick to answer to. “Like you’re probably gonna think I’m weird or something, but you are my best friend and I don’t want it to be weird-”

“Seonghwa for the love of god can you just get to your point.” you interrupt impatiently.

“I like you okay?” he says quietly, avoiding all eye contact with you. 

His heart is beating so fast he feels like it’s actually going to rip right through his chest. He’s never been nervous around you ever. You’re his best friend, and you have been since you were 5 years old, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like you’re the only girl he wants in his life. 

When he hears you laughing at him his heart drops to his stomach and he braces himself for the upcoming rejection.

“Can you come sit next to me.” you ask, gesturing to the empty spot on your bed. 

Seonghwa complies, yet his anxiety is rising by the second. He has never been so nervous in all the thirteen years he’s been alive. He almost wants to vomit as his stomach churns at the thought of you telling him you didn’t feel the same way.

“You’re rejecting me aren’t you...” he sighs, plopping down onto the spot next to you.

You shake your head with a smile. “No idiot, I like you too. Obviously.” you roll your eyes at him.

“Wait, what? Seriously??” he almost goes into shock. “Are you joking?”

“I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious.” you shrug. “I was throwing subtle signs at you for the longest time.”

“Like what?!” 

“Like the time I kept pestering you to take me to the Valentine’s Day dance, and when I made you hold my hand during that scary movie when you know I never get scared of horror films. Oh, and the time you kept badgering me about why I rejected Hongjoong for no good reason. I kept telling you that you were the only guy I needed in my life and you were too oblivious to realize I didn’t mean it in the friend way anymore.” you chuckle.

“Oh... Oh,” Seonghwa realizes. “I really am oblivious then.”

“It’s okay, I already knew you liked me back anyways.” you smirk at him, grabbing your remote off the bedside table.

You flip the TV on as you feel Seonghwa’s heavy gaze on you. “So does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” he asks you and you pause.

“I mean technically we never broke up when we were six so you’re basically just re-asking me out.” you tease, pulling the blankets on both your bodies as you settle on a show to watch.

“Oh god, you still remember that?” 

Of course you do. 

“Obviously, how could I forget you screaming to the entire park that I had cooties.” 

He laughs at that and you can’t help but smile widely hearing him. You both lay comfortably next to one another, watching intently at the show in front of you, yet both your minds were racing at the fact that officially, you could say you were boyfriend and girlfriend. 

“So when did you start liking me?” he asks you. 

“Honestly, I think I always did.” you answer truthfully. “But, like actually realizing my feelings for you?” you pause for a moment to think. “I think it was when you got really sick that one time and your parents were away for a business trip, and my mom made me drop off soup to your house. And I was only supposed to drop off the soup but I took care of you because even when you were all snotty and gross and barely awake to hang out with me, I kinda just realized I’d rather spend my time with you doing that than anywhere else.”

His eyes soften at you. “Aww.”

“Buuut then before that, there was also that time that Ashley told you she liked you and I got super jealous and I was actually going to shove her into a brick wall, so ...I kinda just figured...” you add.

“Way to ruin a sappy moment, moron.” Seonghwa playfully shoves you and you laugh. 

You cuddle up next to him returning your attention back to the show in front of you. Only a few minutes pass before Seonghwa speaks up again, and his question catches you off guard.

“What if we break up... like eventually?” 

You think about it for a second. “Then we go back to being best friends.”

“That easy?”

“That easy.” you nod. 

“For the record though, I don’t ever want there to be a time where I don’t like you. I hope there isn’t.” he says.

“I hope there isn’t either.” you assure, and just like that, you two go back to watching tv.

You’ve always had a soft spot for Seonghwa so it never came as a surprise to you, or anybody for that matter when you figured out you had a little crush on your best friend. 

In a hypothetical situation, if somewhere along the way your feelings ever started to fade, you still couldn’t picture a life where he wasn’t right beside you no matter what. He was your person, and he has been since you two were five. There was nobody in this world that could replace the bond you had with him.

Even at the age of thirteen, you knew you wanted Seonghwa to be there for the rest of your life.

At the age of fourteen and a half, you and Seonghwa have your first ever fight where he conveniently declares that he loves you for the first time. 

seonghwa <3; received 4:24 pm

y/n can u not be like this and talk to me :( 

plsssssss

i’m sorry

can u let me come over and talk to u

Your phone continues to buzz as you stare at it beside you, rolling your eyes at his insistent messaging.

You try your best to ignore it but the continuous beeping irritates you to no end.

you; delivered 4:26 pm

no

i’m mad at u.

seonghwa <3; received 4:26 pm

:(

you; delivered 4:27 pm

can u like do smth with ur life instead of bothering me

seonghwa <3; received 4:27 pm

ouch.

Okay, you admit. That one was a low blow and for a second you almost feel bad until you’re reminded of the fact that you were still royally pissed at him.

you; delivered 4:28 pm

ur actually annoying

seonghwa <3; received 4:28 pm

ya ik i am

but yk what i’m not

someone who is going to do nothing about their gf being mad at them

so open ur window bc im climbing up so i can apologize

stop being a meanie and let me say sorry

Despite how mad you still are, your heart can’t help but skip a beat reading his messages. No matter how hard you wanted to stay angry at him and tell him to go away, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him even if you tried. Seonghwa was charming like that, always managing to sweet talk you in every way. 

You crack open your window and see his tuft of black hair climbing up your ladder. As he hops into your bedroom you fold your arms across your chest, not daring to say a word to him until he speaks first.

“Look, I’m sorry for being an ass earlier.” Seonghwa apologizes, and all you do is look at him. He sighs before continuing. “I was just having a bad day and took it out on you and I shouldn’t have blown up on you during class. I get it. Dick move.”

“But then you had to go and talk to Ashley about it?” you added. “That was like the worst part of it! Do you trust her more than me or something?”

“What? No! Of course not!” he panics. 

“You, and everyone else and their mother knows she’s like obsessed with you!” you shout in frustration. “She’s liked you for so long, do you know how stupid you made me look running off to her knowing how she feels about you?!”

“That wasn’t my intention-”

“Were you trying to make me mad?”

“No, y/n.”

“Did you do it to make me jealous?”

“No!”

“So why Seonghwa, did you have to go and vent to her after you yelled at me in front of everyone when all I did was try to help?”

“I don’t know, okay!”

“I just don’t understand why me of all people you had to take it out on. When all i’ve literally done for you for like the last ten freaking years of us being friends was listen to you when you had a bad day or try to cheer you up when you were down! Never once when I was feeling crappy did I take that out on you. Never.” you explain with a heavy sigh. 

“I’m sorry.” he doesn’t know what else to say because he knows he’s in the wrong. 

“Do you like her or something?” your voice is quiet and the hurt is evident. “Cause if you do just tell me.”

Seonghwa is quick to shut you down as he pulls you into his arms.

“No, no, no. Y/n, I don’t like her. I don’t. Please believe me.” he begs. “Look, I don’t know why I went to her when I should’ve gone to you. I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going through my head at that point because I don’t know. But I love you, okay? I would never, ever like Ashley.”

Your eyes widen and you pull away from him. “W-what did you just say?”

“I... um...” Seonghwa starts to fumble over his words because he didn’t exactly intend to tell you, but it sort of just came out and now he’s starting to panic.

“Do you mean it?” you ask.

He just nods, a little embarrassed at his sudden declaration.

“I love you too.” you say softly, and he relaxes.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

"I’m really sorry, y/n.” he pulls you close to him, burying his face into your hair as he hugs you tightly.

“I’m sorry too.” you murmur against him.

“I hate fighting with you.” he mumbles.

“Me too.”

“I promise I’ll never take my anger out on you again. And I’ll never talk to Ashley again. And I’ll literally do whatever you want me to if it means you won’t stay mad at me because I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, and I hate making you sad.” he rambles and you let out a small chuckle.

“Just come lay down and watch Friends with me.”

“Okay.”

And you ultimately forget that you’re mad at Seonghwa because you decide that you can’t really stay mad at him after he tells you that he loves you. And although all is forgiven, he still decides to grovel for the next week as a reassurance that he really meant his apology.

So at fourteen years old, you have your first, and last fight with him.

At the age of sixteen, you celebrate your three year anniversary with Seonghwa, and decide you were ready to lose your virginity to him.

“Okay I know you said that the expensive dinner date was enough of a present for you, but you know me and always overdoing it....” he says behind you as you hear the crinkling of a bag behind you.

“Seonghwa...”

“Trust me, babe. You’re gonna love it.” he assures as he walks over to you.

Your eyes instantly fall onto the small red velvet box in his hands and your mouth falls open.

“This was expensive wasn’t it?” you pry and he shrugs.

“Maybe, but I was saving up for it for a while now.” he responds, sitting next to you as he hands you the box.

“I always feel bad every time you spend money on me.” you sigh as your fingers smooth over the velvet.

“I know but it was worth it, trust me. Open it.” Seonghwa urges.

You pull apart the bow and lift up the lid, your eyes widening in awe at the shiny ring placed inside. You lift it out gently noticing the small engraving on the inner part of the band, with both your initials and a small ‘i love you 4ever’ written underneath.

“Oh my god,” you utter. “I love it.” you place the ring on your finger.

“Good because I have a matching one too.” your boyfriend grins at you as he pulls out another box lined with a silver band with that very same engraving. 

You pull him in for a hug as he wraps his arms around you instinctively and all you can feel right now is an overload of gratitude for him. 

“I actually love you so much.” you say, pulling his face towards you to press soft kisses all over his face.

“Yeah, I know I’m the best,” Seongwha chuckles. “But I love you too baby.”

Your lips mould together perfectly, the kiss slow and soft at first. His hands wrap around your waist and your mouth moves gently against his. But soon enough you’re clinging to him and his body is pressed against yours, the kiss growing more needy and intense.

You knew when things started to get heavy he would stop the both of you from going further, never wanting to push you to discomfort. The furthest you had gone with one another was only third base, but it never went further than that and Seonghwa always left that decision up to you if you wanted to take it there.

You figure if you don’t speak up now, he was going to cut this short, so it’s only then at this very moment do you decide you wanted him to be your first.

“Do you want to have sex?” you blurt out suddenly and you swear you’ve never seen your boyfriend’s eyes go so wide before. 

He opens his mouth to speak but he can’t seem to find the right words to say. “I- um, wait, are you being for real?” he stutters. “I mean, I do want to, but, are you sure you want to?” he asks, still in disbelief from your question.

“Shit, sorry I know that was really sudden to ask, but I do want to.” you assure. “But only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to.” his eyes soften, and his hand finds yours in an instant delivering a comforting squeeze.

“Okay so come here and kiss me again please.” you say quietly.

And just like that, Seongwha’s soft lips land on yours once more. Without breaking apart he gently guides you to the head of his bed, laying you down underneath him as your bodies press up against each other.

You swear you can kiss Seongwha for hours and never grow tired of the feeling. You get drunk off his kisses, unable to think of anything else but him. It’s dizzying really, but you love it. You find that off all the things you love about him its his lips, and how impossibly soft they are and how familiar they feel against your own. How much comfort it would bring you, and how all you had to when you had a bad day was just kiss your boyfriend for however long he let you.

It felt like home.

His lips trailed lower to your neck, littering soft pecks across your skin. Quiet noises escape your lips and Seongwha can’t help but grind against your lower half. His hands travel across your body and the ache between your legs grows by the second, and the only thing you can think of is how much you love him, and need him.

Your mind kind of blurs because the next second you find yourself both naked and he’s fiddling in his drawer to find what you assumed to be a condom. He notices your curious stare as he opens his mouth to speak. “M-my dad told me to keep these in here,” Seongwha stutters. “He said to be prepared in case the time comes, and well, here’s the time I guess.” he laughs lightheartedly and the very sound makes your heart swell. 

“Nice call on Papa Park I guess,” you joke and Seongwha chuckles.

He climbs over you and delivers another peck to your swollen lips. “Okay, no more mention of my dad please when I’m about to put my penis in you.”

“Sorry, sorry.” you chuckle nervously as your boyfriend pulls you in for another kiss. 

"Okay, if it hurts tell me to stop and I will, alright?” his eyes stare deeply into your own.

You nod at him with a small smile, admiring what little of his face you could see in the darkness of his room. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Okay.” he sighs, positioning himself in front of you. “I love you.” he whispers against your lips. 

“I love you more, baby.” you say to him before you feel him push himself inside you. You gasp at the feeling and he stills in his spot to let you adjust. 

And once you signal that it’s okay for him to move, he does at a slow pace, and you gasp at the intense pleasure. Even though the pain has subsided his thrusts are still slow and controlled, and you don’t know if it’s because he’s afraid to hurt you, or if he just wants to revel in the feeling of you around him. Either way your heart fills with love for this one boy. 

“I love you so much, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you  know that?” he whispers in your ear and your eyes shut at his words and the newfound feeling you would grow to love. “and thank you for trusting me right now...” his breathing grows heavy. “because I would do anything for you, and I just want you to know that, okay?”

You almost feel like you could cry because above all the pleasure that you’re experiencing right now, his words feel different, more intimate, and all the more meaningful to you. 

And you believe every word he says because you know he truly means it.

“I would do anything for you too.” you repeat his words back to him and he buries his face into your neck as he continues to thrust into you. 

So at sixteen years old, you have your first time with the love of your life. And you tell yourself that no matter what happens between the both of you, you were never going to regret giving that part of yourself to him. 

At the age of eighteen years old, you do the unthinkable.

You decide after a long and heavy conversation, you two were going to break up. You were both set to leave town to pursue your studies at your dream schools, and you felt that parting ways at this point was the better option.

While you two could figure out a way to make things work while half way across the world from each other, you had to take into account all the factors that would drive you two apart. The time difference, the long distance, the fact that you were inevitably going to meet new people, and that you simply did not want to hold each other back from experiencing a life without one another. 

Because all you’ve known almost your entire life was being with Seonghwa, and him with you. You knew it was only fair to give each other the chance to explore something new, and now was that time.

It wasn’t an easy decision by any means, and although it was an amicable split, you’ve never felt the pain of a broken heart before. It hurt really bad.

Your friends and family decide to throw you both one last goodbye party, wanting to celebrate this special milestone with you. And of course there was no way you and Seonghwa could pass up the last good night you two would have together as a couple.

The party was fun at first. The dancing, the singing, the laughing, and the endless exchange of pictures as you guys shared the last few memories you would have as high school graduates. 

But as the night started to creep in, you both realized that in less than 24 hours, you two would no longer be attached to one another like you had been for the last thirteen years. And after five years as a couple, you still couldn’t believe that your relationship would come to an end, just like that.

You hear the faint music in the background of your house, as you and Seonghwa sit in your backyard, gazing up at the stars.

“This fucking sucks.” Seonghwa sighs, resting his head on your shoulder as you lean your head on top of his. 

“I know.” your throat burns, suppressing the urge to cry. 

“I just didn’t expect this day to come. I never thought we would actually break up with each other.” he admits, and you nod your head in agreement. 

You grab onto his hand rubbing comforting circles onto his skin, and you feel Seonghwa’s body start to shake next to you. You don’t want to look at him because you know if you see him cry, you’ll cry too.

You close your eyes trying to control your heavy breathing and the quivering of your lips. Your eyes are watering but you refuse to let your tears slip, and your heart hurts like it’s never hurt before, and you don’t know if the pain will ever go away.

“Seonghwa I really love you.” your voice breaks and you finally let the tears fall.

“I know, baby.” the pet name has always affected you, but now more than ever it tugs at your heart strings in a bittersweet way. “I really, really love you too. Always.”

“You know you’re the love of my life right? You’re always going to be.” you state and he delivers a squeeze to your hand in acknowledgement.

“And you’ll always be mine.” he answers back. “You’re my best friend in the whole world and the last five years with you as my girlfriend will forever be the greatest five years of my life. I will always stand by the fact that you are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

As you stare at one another with teary eyes, he knows you’re saying the same exact words to him. He doesn’t need to hear you say it, nor does he expect you to. Your eyes say more than enough to him.

You look down at the rose gold band around your finger and you realize how long you’ve kept it on, never once taking it off since that day Seonghwa gave it to you. “Do you want your ring back?” you utter, your eyes watering once more.

Seonghwa shakes his head. “Please keep it. Because I still mean it. And I always will. I’m gonna love you forever, y/n. Even if you decide to take it off, if that’s the last reminder you have of how much I love you, then please keep it.”

Your heart is hurting, and the tears seem never ending as they continue to fall down your cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you Seonghwa.” a sob escapes from your lips, and Seonghwa squeezes your hand again.

“I know, baby but you have to. You’re going to the school you’ve dreamed of going to since you were in the fourth grade. You’re going to accomplish so much and a build a great life for yourself, y/n. And even though I won’t be physically with you, I’m always going to support you every step of the way.” he assures.

You knew in a perfect world you two didn’t have to break up. But long distance was a bitch, and you moving across the world was never going to be easy on him. You couldn’t force each other to wait for the other. Not when the both of you had to start a whole new life separately. You had to let each other go.

You turn to face him, your teary eyes staring into his own. “I’ll always support you too, okay? No matter what. I want you to make the most of your time in Seoul, study hard, surround yourself with good people and have the most fun you’ve ever had. You’re gonna make so many friends and pursue the career you’ve always wanted and experience new things that you’ve never done before. And most of all, you’re going to meet a girl and love her just as much as you loved me. And you’re gonna fall in love all over again, and just be happy. Just promise me that you will make the most of your time over there and live your life to the fullest. Don’t look back, don’t wait for me. Just live until I get to see you again.” your voice breaks. “And if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Seonghwa lets out a sob and nods. “I promise.” his voice breaks and you pull him in for your last goodbye kiss.

At nineteen, you visit your hometown for Christmas, which was the first time you’d be back in a year and a half. 

Having missed out on the chance to visit last year with your busy schedule, you made sure not to pass up the chance to see your family and friends. The more you grew accustomed to your new home you managed to find a good balance between school, work, and your personal life, so you found that this year was finally a good time to return back for a visit.

And there was no better time to come home than for Christmas day.

“Yeah, just landed at our layover and waiting for the next flight.” you say to your mother over Facetime.

“That’s great honey, I’m so excited to see you.” she smiles at you and you return the gesture. 

“I missed you mom.” you say.

“And I missed you even more.” 

You two continue conversing amongst one another, as she filled you in on all things you missed while you were gone before a voice interrupts your conversation.

“Hey babe, here.” Juyeon says, handing you a coffee as he presses a small kiss to your forehead.

“Oh thank you.” you murmur with a small smile as your boyfriend sits down next to you.

“Oh hey miss y/l/n!” Juyeon greets seeing your mom’s face plastered on your screen.

“Juyeon!” she squeals excitedly. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person instead of over video chat. It was about damn time.” she states and you and your boyfriend chuckle. You hand him your phone allowing them to talk with one another and you smile fondly at the newfound bond between Juyeon and your mother.

“I know, I can’t wait to meet all of you guys too! I know y/n’s been really excited, it was all she could talk about for the last three weeks.” he teases. “And she says you make really good pie so i am definitely looking forward to that.”

“That is such an understatement, I make the best pie.” she scoffs. “And I made one specifically for you.” your mother beams.

After a few minutes of playful banter exchanged, Juyeon hands your phone back to you. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we board, I’ll be back.” he excuses himself and you nod in acknowledgement. 

“Oh y/n, I just thought I should mention Seonghwa and his family are coming over for Christmas dinner as well.” your mom says and the sheer mention of his name as your heart beating in your chest.

“Oh he’s back in town too?” you ask casually and she nods.

“Yup, he’s also bringing his girlfriend.” she adds.

“That’s great, I’m really happy for him.” you say with a smile.

And you meant it, truly. 

You knew of his girlfriend from the few photos he posted of her on instagram, and he seemed genuinely happy. Aside from his newfound love, he was clearly enjoying his time in Seoul like you had hoped, and it was everything you wished for him. 

You two hadn’t really spoken over the last year, and it wasn’t really on purpose, you two just kind of drifted, as expected. You two were starting fresh in an unfamiliar place, and you both were finding your way around your new homes. You two were also preoccupied with school, and meeting new people so it was sort of inevitably really that you two grew apart. Of course there were the few times you two would chat, but it never lasted long due to time differences and busy schedules. 

Although you missed him immensely, you were beyond happy for the life he started for himself, and you knew he was happy for you too. He did exactly what he promised you the last night you spent together, and that was enough to make you happy.

“Flight 219 now boarding.” the announcer calls and Juyeon meets you right on time.

“Okay mom, that’s us. I’ll see you in a few hours, bye, love you.” you bid your farewell before hanging up, and Juyeon grabs your hand leading you to the gate.

“Ready to go home?” he smiles at you, and you beam excitedly, nodding your head.

As the days pass leading up to Christmas, you spend all of your of time with your family and friends, using every second to catch up with your loved ones. You find that Juyeon is adapting well to your home life, bonding with your father and making your mother love him even more than she already did. You introduce him to your childhood friends and he instantly wins over Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho and Jennie. You admire how much of an effort he put into forming a friendship with them because he knew how much it meant to you.

You were thankful really, to find a guy who was almost perfect for you.

But still, in the back of your mind, even though you loved Juyeon beyond belief, you knew Seonghwa would always have that special place in your heart.

On the day of Christmas, you and Juyeon set the table as you await the Park’s arrival. You were slightly nervous, obviously, given the fact that you had not seen Seonghwa in over a year and you would be meeting his girlfriend. Although you were happy for him, you still felt anxious to see him and her, and you could only hope that she was good for him, because he deserved that much. 

Only a few moments later do you hear a knock at your door and your mother walks over to greet your longtime neighbours. Juyeon stands next to you as he wraps an arm around your waist comfortingly and you relax against him. 

You see Mrs. Park first as she walks inside, giving your mother a friendly hug. Mr. Park follows suit as he greets your mother and your father with a wide smile on his face.

And then you see him.

His hair is slightly darker and he does look a little older. But other than that his face is so familiar to you and your heart beats wildly in your chest as the two of you make eye contact. His face softens when he sees you and you deliver a small wave to him as he smiles. His girlfriend trails behind him and you take notice of how beautiful she was. You smile at her too and she returns the gesture and your heart kind of warms seeing how shy she is because you always kind of knew Seonghwa would pick someone similar to him.

“Oh my y/n, how long has it been!” Mrs. Park calls towards you and you hug her tightly. 

“I missed you!” you say to her and her arms wrap tighter around you.

“I missed you too, darling. And you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you!” she compliments. “And who is this handsome man?”

“This is Juyeon, he’s my boyfriend.” you smile, and Juyeon shakes her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Park. Y/n’s talked a lot about your family.” he says politely.

“Y/n’s picked a good one, I see.” she winks playfully as you notice Seonghwa and his girlfriend make their way towards you two.

“Hey y/n, long time no see.” Seonghwa says and you almost melt at the sound of his voice. He pulls you in for a hug and you notice how he still wears the same cologne that you had bought him all those years ago.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again.” you smile at him, and although it had been well over a year since you two last saw each other, there was no hint of awkwardness, just nostalgia.

“Oh, this is Juyeon.” you introduce and Seonghwa delivers a warm smile to your boyfriend, shaking his hand respectfully.

“Nice to meet you.” Juyeon smiles.

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Seonghwa. Y/n’s... childhood friend.” he decides to say.

“I know she’s mentioned you a lot in her stories.” your boyfriend acknowledges. “From all the things she told me you were one of the people I was looking forward to meet the most. You seemed really great to her.”

“I could only hope so. She was my best friend after all.” Seonghwa glances at you, and you know there’s a deeper meaning behind his words. “And you seem like a really great guy, so I’m glad she has good people in her life.” Seonghwa returns and you find it heartwarming how well their exchange is going.

You look at the girl beside your ex and she’s staring at you with gentle, curious eyes. “Hi, I’m y/n.” you smile at her, extending your hand out for her to shake.

“Rosé,” she beams at you and you don’t even really know her but there was something about her that assured you she was good fit for Seonghwa. “I heard a lot about you as well, Hwa’s always talking about his life back home so I’m really glad I got to meet his best friend. You were really special to him.”

You smile softly. “I’m glad I got to meet you too.” you say.

“Okay, time for dinner everyone!” your father announces and you all take a seat at the table, passing over plates of food and catching up with one another.

“So Seonghwa, how’s Seoul treating you?” your mother asks as everyone turns their attention towards him.

“Uh really good actually,” he responds. “I joined a band actually! Uh, I became friends with these really nice guys. San and Yeosang. They basically recruited me after they found out I could sing and now we play at this local bar every week on Friday’s and Saturday’s. It was really good for me, I think. It helped with my stress and stuff. And that’s actually where I met Rosé.”

“That’s amazing.” your mother comments with a warm smile.

“Yeah he was really shy at first but San kind of forced him to talk to me which I was really thankful for because I was eyeing him for a while and was too shy myself to approach him.” Rosé says. “I still remember the night he asked for my number and he was stumbling over his words and I swear he looked like he was going to pass out.” she chuckles, and everyone at the table laughs along with her.

“Oh my god I know what you mean, he also cracks his fingers a lot and starts to turn really purple when he’s nervous.” you add and Rosé points at you nodding in agreement.

“Yes! I notice that all the time!” she laughs, and you can’t help but laugh with her.

“Trust me, I have the most embarrassing stories of him when we were kids.” you say.

“Oh god, you have to tell me all of them.” Rosé giggles.

“Obviously, we have the whole night for that.” you wink at her, and you realize how easy and natural it was to talk to her, and that confirmed that you indeed really liked her. 

Seonghwa watches the exchange between you both, and as you two make eye contact with each other, a small smile appears on his face as you nod at him, silently approving of the girl he chose to bring home for this special day. His heart grows full seeing how well the two of you got along, and he’s forever grateful at how amazing of a person you were that you were so willingly to form a friendship with his new girlfriend.

Although he loved Rosé dearly, there was still a piece of his heart where he’d always love you. And that piece grows a little more when he realizes how you continue to support him, even through this unconventional situation. 

Seonghwa decides he’s going to do the same for you, because just like you were happy for him, he was happy for you too. 

Of course he was glad you found someone who could put a smile on your face like he once did, and he knows that for you to have willingly dated Juyeon, he had to have been just as great as you were. You always had the best judgement of people.

“So Juyeon, how’d you and y/n meet?” Seonghwa asks genuinely and he notices the way his face lights up at the mention of your name.

“We had a lot of mutual friends and they introduced us. It’s funny actually, I could tell y/n didn’t even really like me that much at first, she was always so disinterested when I would try and talk to her.” Juyeon laughs.

“Probably stressing too much about trivial things.” Seonghwa chuckles.

“Yeah she does that a lot, so overly anxious all the time” Juyeon notes, and Seonghwa agrees. 

“Hey,” you interrupt and Juyeon apologizes.

“Sorry babe,” he chuckles. "but yeah, I finally sweet talked my way to get her to go out on a coffee date with me and then the next day she asked to go out for lunch after our lecture. We kind of just ended up hanging out more often and well, the rest is history I guess.”

“That’s great, I’m really glad she found someone that makes her happy.” Seonghwa smiles, and you feel a sense of gratitude towards him.

The rest of the night your families converse with one another and share a few drinks, as you and Seonghwa share old stories with Juyeon and Rosé. If you told yourself three years ago that you would be sitting by the fireplace on Christmas day with you and Seonghwa as exes exchanging stories with your new lovers, you would’ve never believed it. 

But you don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. In fact you’re immensely grateful that despite not being as close to Seonghwa anymore, you were able to see each other grow and adapt with your new lives. A life where you made new friends and made new memories. Where you tried things you’ve never tried before, and explored new places. And where you could love other people and still be so insanely happy for one another. 

This was a good thing.

At one point during the night the two of you find yourselves alone, a comfortable silence filling the room as you stared at the fire in front of you, basking in its warmth.

“I missed you.” Seonghwa is the first to break the silence.

“I missed you too.” you return. “And I’m really happy for you, you know?” 

“I’m really happy for you too, y/n.” Seonghwa smiles at you. “And I really like Juyeon. He seems really great, and he makes you happy, I can see it. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

You hum in acknowledgement. “And I think Rosé is amazing. She’s perfect for you. And I’m forever grateful that you two have each other. I know we’ve drifted over the last year, but you’re still my best friend in the whole world. And even though I don’t say it often, or even out loud, I’m supporting you through everything. As long as it makes you happy that’s all I care about.”

His heart warms at your statement and he locks eyes with you. “And you know I’m always supporting you too. Seeing you happy and thriving is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s all I want for you.” he states.

Neither of you have to say it, but you know this is your unspoken way of saying that you both still loved each other greatly. You still stood by the fact that Seonghwa was, and always would be the most important person in your life, and you in his. Seeing one another content and happy despite not having each other around anymore, was the one thing that mattered to you both. The maturity and support you continued to show was only because of the immense love you have, and have always had for one another. 

The kind of love that lets you give up the person you love the most so they can have a better life without you. 

And the kind of love that’s okay with it.

At twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa meet again.

It’s during one of your breaks where you find yourself extremely homesick. You don’t even give your family a heads up until you’re outside your childhood home knocking at your door.

It was an impulsive decision but it’s not like you were currently in school. You had the time and the money, and you missed your hometown so incredibly bad that it only took you one second to make that decision to come back.

“Coming, one second!” you hear a male voice call behind the door and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Well, that’s is definitely not my mom, or dad.” you say to yourself. “Did they move out without telling me or something-” your internal conversation is cut short as the door swings open and you’re greeted by an unexpected figure.

“Y/n?” the boy says in surprise.

“Seonghwa??” you say even more confused. 

“Who’s at the door Seonghwa?” now that’s your mother’s voice you hear and she gasps as she walks over to the door. “Y/n! Oh my god why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?!” she pulls you into her arms.

“Surprise.” you chuckle. “I kind of sort of felt really homesick and impulsively bought a plane ticket last night so I could fly back so... here I am.”

“Well come settle in! Seonghwa was just helping with some renovations in the house but I’ll let you two catch up.” your mother grabs your luggage, carrying it up to your bedroom. “Go grab a coffee or something!” she yells upstairs.

You look over to Seonghwa and he shrugs. “Let’s go then.” he smiles and your heart swells.

The two of you walk comfortably beside one another as you take in the scenery around you, missing the familiar place you once called home. 

“I didn’t know you were back in town too.” you say after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, it was pretty impulsive too actually.” he admits as he looks at you. 

“What was your reason?” you ask curiously.

“Break up.” he states and your mouth falls open.

“Wait, you and Rosé...” 

He nods. “Yeah, things just kinda, fizzled out. You know, we grew apart, wanted different things, came to a point where we were in different stages in our life.”

“Oh wow.” is all you say. “I’m sorry to hear, she was really sweet. I really liked her.”

“Yeah, she was,” Seonghwa sighs. “I mean, we ended on good terms. We’re still friends, actually. I don’t even think I’m necessarily sad about it to be honest, it’s just different, you know? Like I know we weren’t even dating for that long, like two and a half years at most. But I just got so used to being around her and spending so much time with her, and then things just weren’t really the same after a while. It just felt odd not having someone. And being alone made me miss everything I had here so I came back.”

You nod your head in understanding. “Yeah, I totally get what you mean.”

Seonghwa raises his eyebrow at you. “You mean... you and Juyeon too?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “I think for us we just realized we were better off as friends than as a couple, you know? Like after a while the attraction kind of went away and we were only really together because it was comfortable. And we didn’t want to stay together if we weren’t in love anymore, it wouldn’t have made sense. The break up was easy and it felt right when we ended things, I kind of wish it happened sooner but, I was still thankful for the time we spent together. He is still one of my best friends so I’m grateful for that at least.”

“That’s good.” he smiles softly. 

“Hey at least we both can confidently say we have a track record of smooth break ups, right?” you joke lightheartedly.

“Thank god for that.” Seonghwa says with a laugh.

When you two enter the coffee shop you’re once again hit with a feeling of nostalgia as you think of all the times you, Seonghwa, and your friends would spend most days after school, drinking hot chocolate and eating pastries together as you all talked for hours and hours.

“I’ll get our usuals, you can wait by our spot.” Seonghwa offers, and you nod making your way towards your designated table. 

The moment you sit down you’re hit with a wave of flashbacks you shared in this very space, and a small smile creeps onto your face as you look back on all the old memories. 

After your brief moment of reminiscing, Seongwha sits across from you handing over your cup. 

“Sometimes you don’t realize how much you miss home until you’re actually back in all the places you grew up in,” you note as you take notice of the small engraving in the corner of the table marked with yours and all your friends’ initials. Your fingers ghost over the mark and when you look up at Seongwha you see that he’s also eyeing the engraving. 

“I remember when we put that there,” he recalls with a smile. “After five years of coming here and sitting at this same exact table with our friends we claimed our ownership by putting that stupid engraving that took us forever to do. As if that stopped people from sitting here anyways.” you both chuckled.

“Well at least Jennie and Hongjoong were brave enough to kick out the people who stole our spot.” you laugh.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa smiles fondly at the memory. “I still remember the days where Mingi and Yunho would bet the barista on how many butter croissants they could eat in one sitting so we could all get a supply of free hot chocolate for a year.”

“And it was only after Mingi threw up everywhere that it turned out all we had to do was ask her, and she would’ve done it anyways because we were regulars here.” you finish with a soft chuckle.

A comfortable silence fills the air as you two reminisce on the old memories of your teenage years.

“Can I ask you something?” Seonghwa says.

“Of course.”

“When you finish university,” he starts. “What are you gonna do afterwards? Like do you plan on living abroad permanently? Or are you gonna come back home?”

You pause for a second. “Honestly, after the first year there, I fell in love with the city. And I truly was planning on starting my life there and making that my permanent home, ‘cause I had Juyeon, and I had my new friends, I had jobs lined up for me after graduation, and just an overall great home.” you say. “But after splitting up with him, and sitting with the fact that I was constantly homesick, I kinda realized that this is my home, you know? Like, no matter how much I loved my new friends, and loved the city, it would never be as special to me as here. Nothing over there compared to everything I have here. And I knew you were gonna come back from Seoul after graduation, and Jennie and Yunho were gonna come back from New Zealand too. And Mingi and Hongjoong, and the rest of them were all still here... I didn’t want to be the only one gone. All my real friends are here, my family’s here... you’re here. I didn’t want to leave that all behind.” you exclaim and Seonghwa’s face softens.

“I’m really glad honestly.” he responds. “Because I missed you a lot. And it would’ve really sucked to know you weren’t gonna be here anymore when I moved back. I just really miss spending time with my best friend.”

Your heart skips a beat. “Well, you have the next two weeks to do that.” you smile up at him.

“I have an idea.” his eyes light up and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do you wanna have a sleepover tonight? We can have a move night and order take out like the good old times.” he grins at you.

“You had me at sleepover.” you say with a smile and so he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the exit.

When Seonghwa lets you into his house you almost forget the fact that you haven’t been inside in almost three whole years. This was practically your second home and you found comfort in the fact that nothing really changed since you last saw it. Everything looked almost exactly how you remembered it, minus the new couch and dining table, and a few new paintings hung up on the walls.

“Your mom didn’t change much over the last few years.” you observe.

“Yeah, she was going to do a whole renovation like your mom, and she even planned a whole design out, but she opted out last minute. She said she wanted me to come back home to something I remembered.” Seonghwa answers. “I didn’t get why at first but it only started making sense to me the more I started visiting and realized this was like my safety net.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” you say.

You and Seonghwa walk upstairs to his bedroom, and of course nothing changed inside either. It almost seemed like it had been untouched aside from the fresh bedsheets and clean floor. You notice the small picture frames neatly placed across his dresser table and you realize most of them are pictures with you. You pick one frame up as you remember the day so clearly. A faint smile forms on your face as your fingers ghost over the photo.

“I asked my mom to put those up again recently.” Seonghwa states from behind you. “I was gonna put more with our friends but I realized we didn’t take many with them. They were mostly just of us two. I hope you don’t think it’s weird.”

You shake your head. “No, of course not. I would never think it’s weird.” you say, placing the frame back onto his dresser.

Seonghwa tosses you one of his shirts and a pair of your old shorts that you always left at his house during your impromptu sleepovers. And suddenly you’re once again hit with a wave of nostalgia. 

“What do you wanna do?” he asks and you flop onto his bed with a deep exhale.

“Let’s just lay here for a second.” you say pulling him down next to you. “I just wanna remember everything that I missed while I was gone.” 

Seonghwa settles beside you and you can’t help your racing heart as he inches closer to you. As you lay next to one another looking up at the ceiling, your breathing relaxes and you revel in the feeling of just being so comfortable and at so at home. 

“You don’t know how much I missed this,” Seonghwa whispers next to you. “even though we haven’t seen each other in years and we don’t talk as much anymore, when I’m with you it’s like we never even left each other. Like we just pick up right where we left off. You’re the one person who’s always brought me comfort and I never feel like we have to force things with each other, no matter how much we drifted.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks and suddenly the room feels so much warmer. Your heart beats fast and you realize how much of an effect Seonghwa still has on you after all these years.

“I think about you everyday, you know that?” you confess, turning your head to look at him. “Every time I’m out somewhere there will always be little things that remind me of you. And I think about all the places in the city I would take you, and the places I know you would love. I think about all the things you would tell me when I was feeling down, and how you would react to certain situations as if you were right there beside me the whole time. I miss you all the time.”

You both stare at one another and your eyes flicker back and forth to his lips and when you look into his own eyes you notice him doing the same. After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to do next, Seonghwa pulls you towards his face and kisses you, and the feeling absolutely overwhelms you in all the good ways.

It’s far from soft and sweet, instead heavy and messy, and so intense that your chest burns with desire. You don’t dare pull away from him even when you needed to catch your breath, because the feeling of his lips on yours after all these years intoxicates you and has you yearning for more. He’s pulling you closer to him and you feel like your body is on fire. 

Seonghwa rolls on top of you and your bodies mould perfectly with one another, as if you were both the two missing pieces of a puzzle. You can’t exactly describe the feeling but it’s overwhelming and very reminiscent and brings you back to all the times with Seonghwa that brought you so much happiness years ago. It’s a feeling you didn’t know if you would ever feel again and you missed it more than anything.

The ache between your legs becomes overwhelming and before you know it you’re begging him to touch you, and without any hesitation he does. Your bodies press tightly against each other and your desperate need for him only grows the moment he grinds down on you. 

The next thing you know, you’re both unclothed and fully exposed to one another, and you see each other in your most vulnerable states for the first time in years. When he finally pushes himself inside you the pleasure is significantly magnified as the fire inside you only intensifies at the feeling of him.

It happens quick at first but Seonghwa decides he wants to take his time with you. Like you, he didn’t know if he would ever feel you in this way again and he was going to use every second with you that he could.

You don’t know how much time has passed but by the end, you both are exhausted and sore, and panting heavily next to each other. It’s dark outside and the room is warm and even though you’re both sweaty and gross, you haven’t felt this good in a long, long time. 

“Was that okay?” Seonghwa asks, pulling your naked body into his arms.

“Yeah,” you say with a small smile. “It was perfect.”

So you lay in each other’s embrace for a while and your heart feels warm and fuzzy, bringing you an endless amount of comfort. You feel content at this very moment, and your worries are pushed to the back of your mind as you fall asleep soundly together.

It’s only at 2 o’clock in the morning do you wake up in a haze and through your fatigued confusion does your brain recall the events that took place a few hours ago. Unable to make out your surroundings in the darkness, your eyes widen not knowing if what happened earlier really happened. When you attempt to sit up you feel a pair of arms wrapped securely around your waist and your body relaxes. Soft snores escape Seonghwa’s lips and you snuggle closer to his body to feel his warmth.

It dawns on you that you still are very much in love with Seonghwa, and of course deep down you knew that you always would be. You also knew given the chance (like now) your feelings would resurface because well... they never really left in the first place.

The unknowingness of this outcome has you shifting in your spot and anxiety creeps in as you think of leaving him all over again. Because after tonight, you don’t know if you can bear the thought of parting ways with him and returning to your life abroad where you can’t tell him exactly how you feel.

You don’t realize right away that Seonghwa has woken up next to you and he only does so because of your constant shifting. It’s when he delivers a gentle squeeze to your waist do you finally take notice.

“Are you okay?” his voice his deep and tired and the sound is enough to make your heart beat fast.

“Yeah.” you reply unconvincingly, but Seonghwa has known you all his life and was also the one to date you for five whole years. He knew you better than you probably knew yourself so in an instant he could tell there was something bothering you.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks.

Your back is leaning against his chest, and you can feel his soft breathing on your neck, and instinctively he starts to rub small circles on your arm knowing that was the one thing that could calm you down.

“It’s stupid.” you say, your voice is quiet and laced with a hint of embarrassment.

“Do you regret what we did?” Seonghwa asks and you’re quick to shut down his claim.

“No! No, of course not.” you return. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” 

You exhale, letting out a heavy sigh. “Seonghwa I still love you.” it’s almost inaudible to him but he knows he heard you correctly. 

He lets out a soft sigh and a smile smiles forms on his face.

“I still love you too, baby.” and when you hear him call you by the name you loved so much, you feel like you’re going to melt in his arms. “I always would remember?”

Your eyes start to water because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to say that to him, and to hear him say those same exact words back to you has a weight lifting right off your shoulders that you didn’t even know was there.

“Why’s that upsetting you?” he questions and you feel him press soft kisses to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave you all over again.” you admit. 

He sighs next you and attempts to pull you even closer, if that were possible.

“Well we’ll spend the rest of the time we have together and enjoy every second of it. And after graduation we’ll come back home and we’ll pick up right where we left off like we always do.” Seonghwa tries to reassure you and you shake your head, sniffling.

“That’s not what I mean...” you say. “I mean that I don’t want to go back and not be with you. I don’t want to wait out till graduation and know that we aren’t together because I don’t think I can. Not after tonight.”

It clicks in Seonghwa’s brain and he knows exactly what you mean, and so he decides now’s the time to ask you what he’s been wishing to ask you for so many years. He knows he wasn’t supposed to wait for you, but he always knew he would.

“You don’t have to then.” he states.

“I don’t?”

“Do you want to get back together?” he asks and your heart almost stops. “I mean we only broke up ‘cause of the distance right? And we both fulfilled our promises to each other that we would experience a different life and learn what it was like to not be together. We’re in our last year of uni, we’d only have to be apart for a few more months and then we’ll both be back home in no time, permanently. We would never have to be apart again.” he reasons with you.

And it did make complete sense. He was right in every way, so in truth, there really wasn’t anything stopping you from being together again. You don’t have to think much about it because the decision was already made deep down. You knew you wouldn’t hesitate to be with Seonghwa again if you had the chance, and now was that chance.

You turn to face him and even though you two can’t see each other, there’s a small smile painted on both your faces and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. 

“Okay, let’s get back together.”

So at twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa officially reconcile, and spend the next two weeks together like you planned, catching up on everything you did while you two were apart.

And just like he said, it was like you two never left each other.

And now, at twenty-two years old, Seonghwa pops the question.

And you finally marry him.

"Family, friends, and all loved ones. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Y/n and Seonghwa. We stand here to support this couple and share the joys of their love and commitment as they solidify this partnership, choosing to spend the rest of their lives together.” 

“Through this marriage you make a lifelong promise to one another to always love, respect, trust and honor each other through anything, and everything. You promise to stay committed, and loyal, and most importantly, share your dreams, your happiness, and your sorrows with each other.” 

“From today, and this moment on, you will forever be united as one.”

You stare at Seonghwa and your heart beats hard against your chest as you stand in front of him watching his eyes light up and his smile grow by the second. You feel like you’re in a dream and everything around you feels so surreal.

Your eyes scan the alter and you see your mother beside Mrs. Park, both of them clinging onto each other as tears of happiness running down their cheeks. Their smile is wide and filled with so much love and you knew this day was something the two have been waiting for, for as long as they could remember. 

You see Mingi, and Yunho, and Hongjoong, and Jennie, your best friends who witnessed every progression of your relationship with Seonghwa from the moment you two met. They’re all grinning from ear to ear and you can’t help but laugh as they silently cheer you on from the pews.

You see your dad, and Seonghwa’s dad, and both of your grandparents, and the entirety of yours and Seonghwa’s family joined together as they smile brightly at the two of you.

And then your eyes meet with Rosé and Juyeon as they mouth a “you got this!” to you and Seonghwa, delivering a thumbs up in your direction, and your heart kind of warms because even after splitting up, the friendship between you four remained and it was evident through their support on this special day.

When your eyes lock with your soon-to-be-husband his lips quirk up into a warm smile as you mouth out an “i love you.”

“Now Y/n, Seonghwa, please join hands” the officiant states.

"Do you, Park Seonghwa take Y/N Y/L/N to be your wife?” 

“I do.” he states softly, eyes gazing into yours.

"And Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Park Seonghwa to be your husband?”

“I do.” you respond beaming.

"Seonghwa, please repeat after me.” the officiant says. “I, Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/N Y/L/N, to be my lawfully wedded wife.” 

“I Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/n Y/l/n, to be my lawfully wife...” he repeats.

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

 “For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.” Seonghwa finishes and your eyes start to water.

“Now, Y/n, please repeat after me.” the officiant calls on you. “I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

You exhale before repeating his words. ““I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.”

As Jennie walks over to hand over the rings she smiles brightly at you, as the crowd watches you and Seonghwa each place the new band on your fingers, signifying the start of your lifelong commitment to one another. 

“Well! By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” the officiant shouts with a smile. “You may now kiss the bride!”

And without a second wasted Seonghwa pulls you in kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and the loud shouts and cheers in the background fills your ears as everyone hollers around you. And when you pull away you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as Seonghwa carries you out of the alter.

“Here’s to our new life together, Mrs. Park.” Seonghwa says with a grin as you kiss him once more.

“I love you so much.” you say.

“And I love you even more.” he returns.

So at twenty-two years old you know that you’re never going to stop loving Seonghwa, and that love was made permanent by the unity of your marriage. From the moment you declared him as your boyfriend at the age of six, to the years you spent learning everything together as a couple, growing apart and reuniting, you know that this was a rare kind of love to find, and one that had to mature and progress over a long period of time. 

And so you remember the words you said to him all those years ago the night you parted ways, “if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Which stayed true four and a half years later, and for the rest of your life thereafter.

LA FIN.

[roonilwazlibimagines]

Hi! Ik it might take you a while to see this but here goes :) Can I request a Sirius x Reader, post-hogwarts (but when Lily and James were still alive) and reader and Sirius are in a toxic relationship where they truly love eachother but things are just always on and off, yk? And nobody ever knows wether they’re going to walk into the room all lovey dovey or walk into the room screaming at eachother, and you can decide the ending but please make it angsty :)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female Reader Word Count: 4.7k Blurb: James and Lily plan a get-together to tell their friends some exciting news, but it doesn’t go to planned.  Warnings: Lot’s of fighting and yelling, toxic relationship and swearing, little bit of Jily where she keeps slapping James on the chest but it is playful and I couldn’t resist writing it I’m sorry.  A/N: Everyone in my inbox: ‘please write a part 2 to worst of you’, Me: *writes a fic with the same plot but at a different time*

Everyone seemed to freeze as a loud popping noise was emitted from outside the Potter household. It was an unusually warm January night and the Potter’s were glad the weather had held off for their usual ‘get-together’ with their school friends. 

“Five galleons that they’re angry at each other,” James’ smirk was soon replaced with a frown as Lily playfully slapped his shoulder. 

“James! They’re our friends, don’t be so mean,” she tsked and shook her head, standing up to let the visitors in and missing Remus’ slight nod to James. 

James, Remus and Peter sat in the Potter’s lounge room seemingly frozen as they anticipated the state in which their friends would arrive. They really didn’t intend to be so mean to them. They cared and loved for them and had practically grown up as they had spent most of their Hogwarts life with the both of them. Sure a lot of that time was spent separately, but it was still spent together.

They had begun dating in their fourth year, they were both young and in love and they were both the other’s first, well, everything. They broke up at the beginning of fifth year and Sirius had done it. Something about not wanting to be kept down his entire life and needing a change - the reasons seemed to blur after a while. They had remained friendly with the both of them, but neither of them could stand to be in the same room as the other so that made it quite difficult to spend time with either of them. Until just before Christmas when the odd couple got back together because during their time apart they had realised that there was no one else for them. Until the second week back at school when she claimed to come to her senses and had realised that Sirius was never going to change and she could not spend a second longer with him. That was, of course, until after exams during the small Common Room party when they had woken up to the two of them in Sirius’ bed. All was well until about a month later and then it became hard to keep up with their odd relationship. 

It wasn’t that they didn’t care about them - because they did care about them both very much - but it was hard trying to keep up with them when one minute they were having a screaming match in the Gryffindor Common Room for all the first years to gawk at and the other they were cuddled up on Sirius’ bed pathetically telling the other everything they loved about them. 

Everyone was concerned (more intrigued) about what would happen to the odd couple after Hogwarts but nothing seemed to change. They weren’t dating when they officially graduated Hogwarts but by the next week when James invited them all over for a graduation celebration they were practically joined at the hip. That was, of course, until Sirius realised that he was free now that he was out of Hogwarts which led to a very loud screaming match on the Potter’s front porch where the three boys and Lily were sat in a similar position to where they were now: silent and nervous as they listened to their friends crying outside. 

“Bit awkward that they bought a house together now, isn’t it?” James’ voice was unusually high as he tried to make light of the very awkward situation they were in when they heard a popping noise and realised the screaming had finally ended. Similarly, Lily had playfully slapped his shoulder and scoffed, going outside to go and comfort her crying her friend. 

After that break-up James had asked Lily what she thought they did now that they lived together as opposed to Hogwarts where they could break up and get together as much as they pleased, both having their own dormitory to resign to at the end of it all. Lily had, once again, playfully slapped his shoulder making him exasperatedly ask, ‘what?! I’m curious,’ and so was Remus and Peter. 

“Well don’t tell anyone this but she told me that they have separate rooms and sometimes when it’s really bad Sirius goes to The Leaky Cauldron.” Lucky Remus and Peter weren’t just anyone. 

Now it had been over a year since they had graduated and the odd couple were still on and off and were currently just getting over a break-up which had also occurred at the Potter household during their last get-together. But apparently Sirius had come to his wits and came knocking at her door at two in the morning begging for forgiveness and they were just about to see whether or not it had worked. 

“Sorry we’re so late,” the three boys looked at each other; eyes wide, “Sirius couldn’t decide what to wear.”

“I just want to look the best for you.” They heard a giggle and a smooching noise as Lily reassured them that they were hardly late. Remus smirked as he stood up and reached his hand out to a disgruntled James who sighed as he fished in his pockets for five galleons. 

James didn’t plan on making this a game (especially not with the amount of money he was losing), but how could they not when they knew that the two ‘lovers’ would walk in either at each other’s necks and fighting or at each other’s necks and leaving a few ‘marks’.

“Hi everyone,” she was beaming and cheerful and she came around to give a big hug to everyone with Sirius trailing behind her and doing the same, “we missed you so much.”

 The Potter’s had two single lounges on either side of a three-seater lounge all facing a small table and a fireplace. James and Peter were sat on either side of the three-seater with Lily resuming her place in the middle and Remus on one of the single-seaters. 

“C’mere love,” Sirius mumbled in her ear as his hand wrapped around her wrist and led her to the other single-seater, sitting himself down and bringing her to sit on his lap. She leant her head on his chest and he put his arms around her waist. 

She felt content. She was sure that no matter how strange and chaotic their relationship was, her and Sirius were meant to be together. They were the other’s first love and when she fit so perfectly into his embrace how could she ever think otherwise? 

Sirius let out a sigh and a small smile formed on his face. He wasn’t really sure about anything in his life but this just seemed to make sense. He gave her a little squeeze before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Sure they had their moments, but isn’t love about getting through them all? 

Lily cleared her throat, trying to bring the attention of James, Peter and Remus to anywhere else but the odd couple. They were being anything but subtle with James and Peter’s bodies completely turned to face them and Remus practically off his seat all trying to get the best view of the time bomb sitting in front of them. 

“So, what have we all been up to since the last time we saw each other?” Lily regretted the words that left her mouth as soon as she said it, but she smiled confidently at them all as if she hadn’t said anything wrong. 

Of course, the last time they had all been together that bomb had gone off and they all had front row seats. 

Really, they should have seen it coming. Her cheerful smile was a blank expression and Sirius’ teasing comments were replaced with a, ‘they don’t know we broke up, just smile and act like everything is fine’ which they definitely weren’t meant to hear and which the odd couple definitely didn’t achieve. 

They had joked about it afterwards that it was the shortest amount of time it had taken them to start fighting. 

“Lily this wine is amazing, where did you get it from?” Sirius was sitting as far away from her as he could manage, their distance - lounges away - contrasting to the close proximity they were in now. 

“Oh, I got it from The Leaky Cauldron as a gift from Tom,” Lily seemed like she was about to continue before she was cut off. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t tried it if it’s from The Leaky Cauldron,” she couldn’t contain the smirk forming on her lips, “don’t you spend a lot of time there, Sirius?” She was going to stop there, she really was, but seeing Sirius’ hand clench on the arm rest seemed to ignite something in her and before she knew it she was asking, “or where you too busy fucking whatever whore came in that you didn’t have time to try their wine?” It took James, Peter and Remus every fibre of their being not to start whooping and shouting because as much as they loved Sirius, it was quite hilarious.

“Yes, I was actually,” Sirius stood up, “best sex I’ve ever had.”

���Oh shut up!” She stood and got up in his face. There was a moment of silence with Sirius’ glare challenging her sneer. Then, in a mumble which the rest of them could hardly make out he asked, “do you think I could have a word with you outside?”

“Gladly.” 

It was more than a word. It was actually a lot of words. A lot of mean and nasty words which they all could hear as they sat inside in a similar position to where they were the first time they had fought like this when they first left Hogwarts. It was oddly silent in the house, with the only noise being their two friends screeching at each other outside. 

“You’re the one who sent me to The Leaky Cauldron,” Sirius’ voice was shrill and loud. 

“Well maybe if you stopped acting like a child I wouldn’t have broken up with you,” her voice somehow was louder than his. 

“Well maybe if you weren’t always so serious about everything then I wouldn’t have to.”

“You always fucking do this Sirius,” her voice started out softly but it rose towards the end. 

“Whatever, I don’t need this,” he sighed and with a quick, “fuck this,” Sirius disapparated and soon she was awkwardly walking into the lounge-room, tears threatening to spill as she excused herself and went home for the night. 

“Well Sirius and I got back together,” she let out a small laughm turning her head to Sirius who was playfully rolling his eyes at her. 

Peter’s eyes widened, Remus almost choked on his drink and James cleared his throat as Lily laughed with her friend and gave James an encouraging kick to the shin so he would laugh with her. 

“Thank Merlin we did,” Sirius whispered, pressing a soft kiss to her nose as everyone let their awkward giggles die down. 

She knew what everyone thought of their relationship. People might say that she was dumb for constantly going back to Sirius, but they didn’t know him like she did. Sure they all had front row seats to their constant bickering and fighting but they weren’t there when they got home and were tangled up in each other's arms with Sirius telling her everything he loved about her. But, of course, she wasn’t naive enough to think that the people around them hadn’t spoken about the eventful ending to their last ‘get-together’ and so why not address the elephant in the room?

Sirius also knew what everyone thought of their relationship. But he didn’t like people knowing the details, he was very private when it came to his relationships and why did people need to know anything about it? 

But he still smiled at her because this was their friends she was speaking to, they were like family and maybe it was okay if she let slip a few details about their relationship. 

“Obviously, last time we were here it was a bit different,” she turned around to face everyone else, a small smile forming on her lips as Sirius hummed and made a conscious effort to unclench his jaw. “But Sirius came home and apologised and we made up and trust me, we definitely made up,” she giggled before opening her mouth to continue. 

“Okay, I think they get it, love,” Sirius let out an awkward giggle as he spoke through gritted teeth. 

“Well if they can hear us screeching on their front porch then they can-”

“Well they didn’t have to hear us screeching on their front porch.” Her head snapped around to look at him smiling sweetly at her.

“What is that meant to mean?” She squinted her eyes at him as he took his hands off her waist. 

“Nothing, my love.” Sirius let out a deep sigh before pressing a soft kiss to the top of her temple. They were finally in a good place and he really didn’t want to pick a fight with her right here in front of their friends. Again. 

She glared at him hoping that he would understand how mad she was at him for picking a fight and then ending it as if it was all her fault. 

There was an awkward silence before James cleared his throat and everyone’s attention was brought to James. 

She felt a heat rise to her chest in embarrassment as she realised how pathetic their little row actually was and as James opened his mouth to start speaking she mumbled an ‘I’m sorry’ to Sirius who brought his arms back around her waist and whispered an ‘it’s okay,’ before softly kissing her cheek and bringing his attention to James. Maybe he had overreacted. 

“So I know Lily and I always invite you over for little ‘get-togethers’ because you’re our family and we love you all and we want to stay this close forever.” He turned to Lily and placed a hand on her thigh. She put her hand over his and beamed. They all looked around at each other and smiled in an acknowledgement that they were family and they did love each other very much. 

“And while this is all very true, James and I actually invited you because, well,” her and James looked at each other and let out a breathy laugh, “we are going to be extending our family.” Their beaming faces turned to look at their friend’s confused ones before Lily almost screeched, “I’m pregnant!”

A chorus of cheers broke out in the small living room as everyone got up to hug the new parents. 

“Lily, oh my gosh!” she let out a squeal as she hugged her best friend before continuing, “I’m so excited for you, congratulations!” She hugged her tight before letting go and Lily grabbed her hands and placed it on her tummy both of them giggling in excitement. 

Peter, Remus and Sirius gave their congratulations to James, waiting until the two girls broke apart so they could congratulate Lily. 

“Congratulations, mate,” Sirius beamed, patting him on the back before continuing, “can’t wait to meet the little baby and teach them everything you won’t.”

Their previous little feud had been completely forgotten by the majority of the room, fortunately overshadowed by the good news from the soon-to-be-parents. Once everyone gave their congratulations they resumed their positions across the lounges, a sense of excitement filling in the room as everyone was still beaming at James and Lily. 

“Now we want you to know that choosing the godparents was a really hard decision,” Lily’s hand was wrapped around James’ arm as she looked around to everyone individually in the room, “and we don’t want anyone’s feelings to be hurt, because James and I will have more children.”

“That we will,” James smirked, turning his head to press a soft kiss to Lily’s head. Despite their smiles, their friends scrunched up their noses in disgust and playfully rolled their eyes. 

“But we had to make a decision,” they were trying to be sympathetic but the smiling faces of all their friends were infectious and they knew that no one would be offended, “and the godparents will be,” James paused for dramatic effect before turning towards the odd couple in the single-seated chair, “you two!” 

She stood up and beamed at Sirius, grabbing his face in her hands and pulling him in for a kiss before bringing her attention to James and Lily. She pulled them both into her arms and kissed their cheeks, both them letting out a chorus of ‘thank you’s’, ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I can’t wait’s’.

When they sat back down Sirius’ grip on her waist was much tighter and this time she placed her hand over his and gave it a big squeeze. 

“We promise to be the best godparents ever,” she gushed, a large smile forming on her face. 

“Yeah, we’ll let them do everything you won’t let them do,” Sirius continued making everyone laugh. 

“I don’t doubt that you will,” James and Lily shook their heads knowing that as much as the odd couple would live up to their promise, they would never put the baby in actual danger. Well not any real danger. 

If they were being honest, which they would never be to the odd couple, they really weren’t convinced on making them godparents. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust them, they would trust them with their lives if they really had to. Well, they would trust them individually. They were amazing friends individually, but when they were together it seemed only a matter of time before they would explode and as they had experienced from the last few years, they really didn’t care who ended up in the destruction. 

When James and Lily had discussed the topic of godparents it was quite obvious that the odd couple would be the perfect choice because Lily wanted her to be the godmother, being her closest friend and all, and Sirius, who was basically James’ brother, was perfect to be the godfather because he was her boyfriend. . 

Well, at the time he was her boyfriend, but that was not long before they had the massive fight at the Potter’s and their concerns about them being godparents began to grow. 

“Maybe it will bring them together?” James had suggested innocently, shrugging his shoulders and earning a playful slap to his shoulder from Lily. “What?”

“Oh yes that will be great,” Lily beamed sarcastically at him, “I can’t wait to introduce our child to their fighting godparents only to have them go off and fuck in a closet and forget about their godchild!”

But Lily was convinced on having her as a godmother and James was convinced on having him as a godfather and it would have been a bit weird if they had given it to her and Remus and that probably would have led to another fight. 

So they decided to wait until they were in a good spot until they broke the news to them and when she had owled Lily to tell her that Sirius had apologised and they were thinking about getting back together, Lily was ecstatic to hear this (for the first time) and immediately sent out owls to come to their house in two days. She didn’t want to leave it too late in case they broke up again. Usually it lasted a little longer, but honestly who knew with them. 

Maybe it was wrong on their behalf, but godparents didn’t technically need to be together anyways so all that mattered was that they were together when they told them as this was the best case scenario with the least risk of them getting into a fight. 

But even though it was the least riskiest, there was still a risk. 

“And you were going to ruin their announcement,” Sirius chuckled, squeezing his arms around her and making her unsure about how she was meant to take that comment. 

Everyone suddenly went quiet. 

“What do you mean?” She raised an eyebrow but she hadn’t turned to look at him yet. 

“Oh merlin,” Lily whispered as all smiles were wiped off their friends' faces as they braced themselves for the explosion. 

“You tried to pick a fight with me just before they announced it,” Sirius explained, still seemingly innocent to what the outcome of his comment was going to lead to. 

“I didn’t try to pick a fight with you.” She turned around to face him, giving him a confused look but still trying to force a smile. 

“Really, well it seemed like you-”

“You were trying to pick a fight with me, you always do.” She furrowed her eyebrows together as their friends stared intently at her seemingly unable to take their eyes away from the emerging disaster in front of them.  

“I do not,” Sirius huffed, getting defensive as he took his arms away from her waist. 

“You’re picking one right now!” Her voice was getting louder and her expression angrier and Sirius let out a sigh. 

“I’m sorry, love,” he pressed a kiss to her forehead and went to continue before he was cut off. 

“No,” she stood up, “you’re an ass Sirius Black.” She could feel the tears start to pool in her eyes and she wasn’t sure if it was due to the anger or the embarrassment. “You always pick a fight with me and then you apologise as if I’m the one being annoying.” 

Their friends shared a look as they all seemed to shrink back into their seats, their previous excitement getting lost in the explosion. 

“Well at least I’m not the one who always has to make a scene in front of our friends.” Sirius stood up and waved his hand around to their friends who all moved their eyes away before she could turn around and see them staring intently at them. 

“Oh fuck off Sirius,” she rolled her eyes and sniffled as she felt a tear fall down her cheek, “do you really think they can’t hear us when we ‘take it outside?’” She asked, teasing him for always wanting to do so when it was obvious they would be able to hear. 

“Can you just fucking stop?” His voice was booming, “Tonight was about James and Lily but you just couldn’t handle the attention not being on you for more than two minutes, could you?” He was pointing at her and she squinted at him, a few more tears falling down. 

“How dare you?” Her voice was beginning to tremble and she hated that he would think he had gotten to her. She wanted to turn to James and Lily and apologise for being such shitty friends and tell them that she was really happy for them, but it was easier to pretend that they weren’t there. 

“What? Speak the fucking truth?” Sirius taunted, stepping closer to her so their faces were inches apart. “Well congratulations because you ruined their announcement.”

“How dare you accuse me of being such a shitty friend when you’re the one who is always picking a fucking fight with me!” Her voice started soft but as she continued it got more heated and soon she was yelling at him. Sirius clenched his eyes shut and took a deep breath. 

“Fuck this,” he mumbled, “fuck this,” his voice got louder, “you always fucking ruin everything for me.” He leant down so his face was even closer to hers before standing back up and clearing his throat. He finally addressed the rest of his friends as she angrily wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I’m sorry that your announcement has been ruined, I’m really happy for you, mate,” he gave a sincere look to James and Lily, “and I am honoured to be their godfather. But I think it's time I went before anything escalates.” 

“I’m so happy you get to be the bigger person again,” she spat at him, but he didn’t acknowledge her words. 

He walked around the room and gave his friends a hug goodbye, congratulating them once more before giving her a dirty look and apparating to The Leaky Cauldron. 

He leant against the doorframe and took a deep breath. He really didn’t like fighting with her, as much as he did it and as much as people probably thought he liked it, he really hated it. But he just couldn’t help it. She knew exactly how to get his blood boiling and he knew exactly how to push her buttons but that was just because they knew each other so well. Too well, probably, considering their history. 

More than anything, he felt horrible for ruining his best friends, his brothers, announcement. He would never admit it but he did know that the fight wasn’t just one sided. It never was. He would get a room and write an apology to his friends immediately. Maybe they could celebrate together, with just him, to save any more dramas. 

There was the thought in the back of his head that he would be a godparent with her, but he decided to push it to the back of his head. He wouldn’t be able to sleep if he let his worries bubble to the surface. He wanted to be the best role model a godfather could be to this baby and at the moment he felt everything but. 

His heart ached as he replayed the image of the tears falling down her cheeks as she yelled at him and for a moment he considered apparating back to their house and holding her until she stopped crying and forgave him. 

He wiped the tears off his face and walked into the pub. 

She was mumbling out apologies any moment there was a silence. . 

“We are horrible friends, I am so sorry.” She wrapped her arms around both of them as they patted her back and told her it was okay, checking for the umpteenth time that she didn’t want to stay with them instead of going to a presumably empty house. “You’re too kind, but I just really want to go back to my comfortable bed.” And with one horrible attempt at a convincing smile she apparated back to her empty flat.

She threw herself on the bed and let out a muffled scream into her pillow. She hated that he knew exactly how to get her blood boiling and even though she knew exactly how to push his buttons, he had definitely initiated it tonight. 

She hated fighting with him, she hated the horrible twisty feeling she got in her tummy that always made her feel like everything inside of her was going to come out and she hated that he had the power to make her feel like this. 

But this time it was worse because even though they had fought in front of their friends many times, they had never brought so much attention to themselves when it really shouldn’t have been. She felt horrible and decided that first thing tomorrow she would owl Lily and meet up with them to properly celebrate. At least it would give her time to get a gift. 

Her mind wandered to the baby and how she was expected to be their godmother. Not that she wanted anything more than to be the best godmother the little baby could ever have, it was just that right now she didn’t know if she would ever be able to do so. 

For a moment she wanted nothing more than to have Sirius’ arms around her, shushing her and kissing the top of her head and stroking her back and telling her that everything was going to be fine. But she wasn’t sure that they were ever going to be anywhere near being fine. 

Back at the Potter’s the four friends sat in silence. No one knowing what to say. They shared a few looks and many sighs, but the tension was still leftover from the explosion and it seemed that no one knew what to say and no one really knew how to deal with the aftermath of the explosion. 

“So does this mean I get my five galleons back?” James asked innocently.  Lily shook her head and playfully slapped his shoulder as James whined when Remus shook his head.