#no offense to Paul tho

[thefriendoforatioisdead]

So you're telling me May is a super smart, cool, funny, badass, beautiful, rich lawyer and an activist who can also COOK and Oom dumped her for some guy named Paul ?

She fumbled the bag...She fumbled the bag soooo bad

[filmcel]

donnie darko - the best movie i’ve ever seen. such an interesting depiction of mental health. it’s interesting fuck the director though he’s a dumbass.

prisoners - THE movie to recommend people. idk anyone who has watched it and hated it. it’s so fucking good . tbh jake is like the least interesting part of the movie he’s pretty ugly. paul dano is the goat. the best movie i’ve seen revolving around some mystery. always on my toes always scared. when u think you know u end up being wrong. it gets u.

zodiac - he’s so cute in this movie and that’s as good as it gets. it’s good for one viewing and that’s IT. it’s very interesting has good sequences. but it’s so damn long. i guess if u wanna argue that it wants u to FEEL how they felt waiting so long trying to catch the zodiac killer id say sure fine but also they never even catch him so what’s the point of the movie. idk.

brokeback mountain - no comment

nocturnal animals - this movie is absolutely insane in the worst way. the two main characters r fuxking deranged. jake’s character is deranged for being like that. his weird revenge thing is so strange and it’s uncomfortable. i didn’t get it i didn’t like it i wouldn’t watch again.

enemy - this fucking movie…. idk how i sat thru it all actually. i’m proud of myself but i didn’t need to put myself thru that. jake is so boring in this. the movie itself is so fucking boring. it’s so weird. it’s so ugly. it looks like shit and it’s shot like shit and i don’t get why bc it’s a denis movie. maybe i’m not smart enough to get it but it sucked dick AND balls.

the guilty - okay. i know this movie isn’t very good. but i watched it and was entertained. it rlly is something you’d catch on the tv while ur at the dentist and get rlly invested in the 30 minutes ur in the waiting room. its nothing life changing but i had a good time

ambulance - HWHSJFJJDJAJAJS. the worst shit i’ve ever fucking seeeeeen. it’s hilarious tho . watch it drunk otherwise u might be bored out of ur mind. this movie is so insanely shot. i remember the billion drone shots. i remember the spleen burst. i remember the goofy shots they did of jake. idk how it got made. idk how jake is in it.

brothers - this movie… isn’t BAD…. i think? it made me uncomfortable. which yeah. that’s the point. but like the scene of tobey like being captured whatever . idk enough about anything but was that offensive in some way? let me know… it felt strange . the movie tho is super hard to watch. it’s cringey and scary. i wanna rewatch to get my full thoughts on it because it was awhile ago . great acting tho.

end of watch - Stupid baka fucking movie. i made my mom rent this shit and im sorry i wasted 4 of ur hard earned dollars. this movie is worth nothing. it’s so racist to mexicans. it’s embarrassing. like the main guy is mexicans and it does all that cringe cholo shit it made me want to claw my eyes out and never watch another movie again.

the covenant - GEHHRDHHFHRHSJZJFJRJEJ the most boring movie of all these honestly. i think i almost fell asleep. jake is in too many military movies actually holy shit. don’t watch this one at all lmfao .

jarhead - this one is the most interesting military movie he’s in but it’s also graphically one of the worst so beware. it rlly doesn’t hold back with trying to be gross and bad. and i understand why. but it does make it hard to watch. it’s shot rlly well though. and the acting is great.

demolition - OH BROTHHERRRRR. i thought this movie would be worth something because it’s one of those u see a lot of clips of online. it’s genuinely so stupid tho. i can barely remember the plot but i just remember it made no sense. ppl keep getting jake for these insane characters except it’s just dumb as shit.

october sky - this is a cute fun movie you’d watch in middle school ^_^! cute little time!!! and it has laura dern so what’s not to like!! maybe a little boring to some tho.

[crabonfire]

brutally honest ship ratings from somebody who doesn’t ship anything much, no offense, just what I think!!

It’s 2 am and I can’t sleep haha

starting off w the ones I usually see to least

sniperpy 4/10

bland and boring. I get the enemies to lovers dynamic people usually have but i just think it’s boring lmao

bush medicine 6/10

I like the quiet guy and overbearing lover trope but…honestly like sniperspy, bit boring imo

heavymedic 7/10

boring but not in the bad way. I can see em happen, and I think they’d do cute domestic shit together. your typical gay couple.

boots n bombs 9/10

silly. no further questions.

engiepyro idk what they’re called 7/10

cute! Nothing interesting tho

speeding bullet 8/10

love this trope, annoying little prick and quiet man. sure why not!

demosniper 7/10

cute dynamic actually? it’s like bush medicine but better (sorry)

pyroscout 6,5/10

cute, but it’s a bit boring.

medicscout -/10

seriously? 💀

engiesol 9/10

gold. love it.

heavydemo 7,8/10

seen it a couple times and honestly it’s nice. not much to say, not boring, but not too interesting. cute.

engiedemo 9/10

okay this one maybe just maybe I’m a bit biased bcs they are both in my top 3 but,,, cute. old people cute.

scout and ms Pauling ?/10

I heard Ms Pauling wasn’t straight? my personal headcannon for her was that she was bi but I have no clue on her canon sexuality so I can’t say much about this 😭 I like them better as friends anyway

zhannasoldier 10/10

my favorite bisexual couple

demopauling 8/10

basic but I like it??? I’ve seen it once or twice and honestly cute 😭

zhannapauling 8/10

sniperspy if it was good (IM KIDDINGGGGG) I think both characters are criminally underrated and I could see how they would work and I find them cute honestly

that’s all for now I probably missed some unheard of rare pair but it’s late and I’m trying to fall asleep, you can argue with my ratings but as I’ve said these are BRUTALLY honest and I probably won’t change my mind (because I don’t ship much and I don’t care)

[r4cc0on-in-tr4shcan]

Bad day?

Heavy (tf2) x gn!reader

tw: cussing and idk if the dialogue is accurate but other than that just pure fluff (tell me if I missed any tho) WAS NOT PROOFREAD

What a shitty day. You worked for the Administrator as a newspaper deliverer for both RED and BLU and today you got the papers mixed up, earning you a scolding from your boss and a pay cut.

“I barely even get $8 an hour, now I’m getting 4???” You mutter to Ms. Pauling once you leave the Administrator’s office.

“Wow, you really got the short end of the stick, even I get paid more than that. No offense.” Ms. Pauling says, making you feel worse

You decide to just go back to your quarters but of course it had to be a storm and of course you had to trip on your own foot and of course you had to land face first in a puddle of mud.

“Aw shit.” You mutter to yourself as you carefully get back up, just to insure that you don’t eat shit. Again.

You finally make it back to your quarters, but first you needed to go to the showers, which thankfully no one was there. As soon as you lazily turned on the water you were immediately woken up buy freezing cold water. Of course we didn’t hot water. At least you got the mud off you.

As you walked back to your quarters, now in casual clothing, you happen to bump into the huge Russian man, Heavy.

“oh, sorry, Heavy did not see you there.”

“it’s alright Heavy.” You sigh, exhausted by the day, but you’d never be mad at Heavy.

“Is little one ok?” The large man says, concerned for you

“yes, I’m fine Heavy. Just need some sleep.” You say, not wanting to tell him that you haven’t slept in the last few days due to your bed being uncomfortable.

Heavy, however, saw past your lie and noticed the bags under your eyes

“Heavy will help you.” He says, picking you up before you can speak and laying you in his bed, which was so much more comfortable than yours. Heavy gives you a weighted blanket and leaves the room to get you some tea, the whole time you tried to say that he didn’t have to, but he would either ignore you or say “No, Heavy will help, you are tired and need sleep.”

once he comes back with some tea he gets into the bed with you and wraps his arms around you gently, not wanting to hurt you.

This was the most relaxed you have ever been, cuddling against Heavy’s chest, with some warm tea, and Heavy lightly humming some Russian lullabies.

“Thank you, Heavy.” You mutter as you drift off, hearing a little “Goodnight. You’re welcome.” Coming from Heavy

(@another-delta-lover I thought about you while writing this)

[akajustmerry]

sorry if you’ve been asked this already but out of the doctor who’s you’ve watched how would you rate them best to worst?

hello!! purely subjective based on which doctors I enjoy the most from best to worst:

Eleventh/Twelfth Doctors - honestly these guys are just My Doctors™. I watched them at very formative times in my life and borrowed bits and pieces of them for my personality and gender

Ninth Doctor - Christopher Eccleston is owed for Doctor Who being EVERYTHING it is now. No exaggeration!

14th Doctor - this doctor is like "what if the 10th doctor wasn't a cunt and also had all of 11/12's Big Heart Behaviours™?" delightful! way too much nostalgia bait in his eps tho so...

8th Doctor - Paul Mcgann is so underrated honestly. My man set the TONE for modern doctor incarnations. Does he get any flowers for that? No. Also campy as shit.

3rd, 4th, 5th Doctors - I grew up watching these guys on VHS with my dad. I've honestly never revisited but remember them mostly fondly.

1st, 2nd, 6th, 7th Doctors - honestly just haven't had access to enough of their episodes to have an opinion on them!

10th Doctor - I love David Tennant in ways detrimental to multiple social movements, but I've also never encountered a character so Infuriating. I just hated all this Doctor's relationships and emotional immaturity. sure it's an intentional part of the character I still hate it tho lol. the racism, especially.

13th Doctor - I wrote a whole article on why I hated 13's era and meant every word. Whatever the a over Doctor's faults, at least they weren't doing Nazism and character revisionism with zero personality. White feminism in the most offensive way possible.

hope this makes sense <3

[gleeandshame]

Gbbo botanical week 2023

Liveblogging for myself and one friend

Botanical weeks seem to replay the random nationalities, probably smart but something not common huh!

Abbi woulda thrived, huh?

Usually it’s like an old man who has a garden in past seasons who do it for fun

Gotta be real, I’m not sure how cardamom tastes

I forget spices are like… natural lol

Mulled wine to egg is so grey, looool

Quite a dangerous thing to do. “Thank you”

Go Tasha, lol, I wish her the best tho

We fight Paul here

Dana, girl, not spicing a bun but just the filling? Good luck

Was Josh also a garden boy earlier… eh we’ll see

I’ve not really baked a bread besides banana so I never had to prove anything. Seems a rough bit with their time always

That did look nice Dana, the twist

Oh I forget they might use Celsius? Or do they use F for baking. Wow I know nothing

Alison “lean on these buns” I’m…

Yes Tasha prove Paul wrong (was prove a pun)

Welp, called it with Dana

Saku works in accounting, her maths!

Like Josh’s lemon and blueberry representative frosting swirl

Good job Cristy

Alison did tell matty to prove longer lol

1 hour 30 doesn’t seem enough. They like the pressure dramas now I feel

Matty and Alison as lemon and time

That’s a big cake for each person, hope the crew gets to enjoy

Noel is actually singing “Entrance of the Gladiators” what a song for clowns huh

I don’t know crystallizing

Matty being completely confused and Tasha just watching when not supposed to

Noel and Saku messing around

Enrichment in his enclosure

Judged the technical well into the night? I don’t notice sundown often

Matty you referenced HP, unfortunately we must throw you in a pit now

Dan made something hmmm

Alison…. Hahahahhahahaaaaa

Saku is making something ambitious

Tasha just signing to be more comfortable, let’s gooooo

Is hibiscus like really popular over there???

I mean we have them where I live, like in people’s yards, but I only had a hibiscus drink like once

That box should be nice

It looks like resin

Shark attacks! Lol, Dana is fun

Yeah that’s like a sunflower texture… I didn’t notice cristy buttering the mold, oh it’s the chocolate

Dan no…..

Tasha what

Why is there tragic disasters and there’s no commentary. What a time suck!!!

Oh Tasha’s back up, plot twist!!! Good for her

Tasha is so tall… (me being normal about it)

Thank you for the help Josh!

Cristy nooo, I mean idk if there’s anything practical to do

Saku saying bless her

Cristy no… no offense to her, but she gives off the vibes of someone would would start crying so like… :(

They can eat it… this is sad. Someone mentioned if old hosts were around they would cuss up a storm to make this footage unusable

Cristy, I think you should be safe you did well earlier….

Group hug and lots of encouragement from others though

Starting out they’re judging Tasha a little too kindly on look, I think… the inside does look nice tho and do trust it’s yummy tho

That’s a nice flower and the layers are clean, Saku

Very nice flower, Josh

Josh is quite good. He just doesn’t have much personality comparatively to others

Dana’s decoration is very cool, shame about the rest

Good on ya Josh

Ah, knew she was gone, but RIP. She’s kept a great attitude. Goodbye :(

Yay calling mums

Saku asking about time off to someone named Charlotte, looool

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

As someone who mostly grew up in new zealand, but isnt actually 'from' there, imo nz comedy tends not to land very well, especially to non-new zealanders. I have spent nearly 3/4 of my life there and i still dont like the comedy scene. It feels like its all based on shock value and seeing how offensive/crass you can be before someone calls you out on it, and thats just not my humor.

Hm I guess I can see what you mean. It's not that I hated all of it, there was quite a bit of good humour, from Angella Dravid particularly (I'm just on the second episode too, and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt bc it's not easy to find your footing when adapting a show and format from another country, takes a while)

But yeah all the "omg China has been in a lot of negative news because of covid it is so difficult to write something that's not offensive right now" thing was so overdone and just felt xenophobic, and after all that drama they did about it the songs were still full of offensive shit about the population and "controlling" the economy and whatnot. I do like that someone pointed out the irony of talking about Congo's child soldiers while dressed as a scout also. Idk it all rubbed me the wrong way and what made me even more uneasy was that this is just a very normalised way to talk about 'Eastern' countries so it didn't feel out of place within that environment.

I've heard good things about the second season tho let's see let's see. I do enjoy what Paul Williams did with the assistant role, very much

[magnoliamyrrh]

Paul is a fucked up manchild who berates his mom the second he gets supernatural powers and sees himself as better than everyone. That’s only if you can get past herbert’s awful writing where his villains gotta be fat and gay and he repeats these facts every single time they switch povs as if the audience has somehow forgotten (seriously, highlight every time herbert mentions the villain is fat. It’s so common it’s just boring stale writing). Paul in dune is the worst kinda self insert fanfic. Dune is such a shitty book girl how do you enjoy it

ohh he definetely is a man child; i feel bad for him in like the first half of the first book mainly bc hes a teenager, hes 15, like, a teenager teenager not an almost adult 17-18. he may come from a powerful family but hes just thrust into very messed up circumstances, more or less tortured to prove hes human, has to grapple with being some sort of raised-to-be-exceptional genetic experiment and being used in some weird intergalactic lie and war, and incredible amount of historical pressure and other things. like, at 15, hes more kid than adult dealing w this. but also, while being 15, he is smart, and charming to others, and he quickly rises to great infleunce and is good at manipulation. and yea the moment he gets some more power he turns it even against his own mother, against himself, and against others and the longer they go on the more insufferbale he becomes; what ground of expeptionalism in him existed gets raised tenfold -hes an inherently flaued character by all means who even when he tries he fucked up badly many times. i mean like hell, among all the shit he ends up doing, even just that thing that he himself didnt have the power to put shit in order, so he ends up forcing it on his son, like how he was shoved into a bunch of things when he was younger

and yes lol i am well aware of the villan thing. i do get that in this context the "fat" thing and even the gay pedo thing is moreso an allegory for greed and the keeping of and hoarding of precious things (im Not saying fat ppl are like this mind u, im not saying its good either, but in many cultures fat has or is indeed revered as a sign of wealth; and this is used to contrast to those who dont have, and i reckon this is where it comes from in the story). but yes, i do think thats uhh i hate this word problamatic. the fat thing, the gay thing, the pedo thing. definetely part of an ongoing issue of attaching several of those characteristics to villans, and also of making villans generally ugly, thus associsting the two together. like yup, its definitely not good

idk tho, i think. dune was written in the 1960s by a white dude. like, it doesnt suprise me that that stuff is in there. ive read plenty of things that have parts of them that are problamatic or outdated or offensive and it just,, is what it is. like idk i can enjoy something while also being aware and critical of the parts of it that are fucked up - i think if i wasnt able to, i wouldnt be able to like,,,, explore a lot of the literature that exists out there, especially older literature, no matter from where its from in the world or if its written by men or women. most of it or most authors at least have written some weird shit or held some weird shit. idk just a stupid parallel off the top of my head i love the 1001 nights stories - i grew up with them - but theyre filled to the brim with weird shit and problamatic things and sexism and racism and slavery and whatever else, like absolutely filled - to an extend they reflect the times. i still, however, enjoy reading them tho

i also dont know how much paul is a self insert - maybe. ive never read the dude as sympathetic or a sympathetic anti-hero much. i did find the idea that out of this all-female order theyd have the idea that a male would be the one w the greatest power and some sort of prophesied force of power weird, sooo idk maybe. but idk, if its a self insert i rlyyy dont think its supoosed to be a flattering one much. the dude just gets worse and worse as the books progress, and he ends up after fucking up so much and being too weak to fix it, exiled, alone, spending his last yesrs wondering in loneliness and deep regret. so, i dont think its shown that his superiority complex or anything else brought him something good; it just lead to tragedy

mostly i like the series for the intricacy of its plot and the way its introduced, the messages it tries to send even if it at times fails or does so badly. like yea, its not perfect, but it is trying to ssy something about foreign meddeling and co-opting of religions and cultures and desperste situstions, or colonialism and capitalism, of exploitation, greed, power, etc. and also in very large part its lore, its scifi elements, its weird out there mysticism, and all the parts of it that are very, very weird. i am fascinsted by the world that this dude created. im a really big fan of magical realism and to an extent the books are like this - because they start more normal and over time become more and more mystical and fantastical and weird and less grounded as more concepts, creatures, and affects of the spice are introduced. i also do like that the main character isnt an actual hero. all this talk of prophecy and whatever, but its all bad, and it goes so fucking bad. its to an extent a subversion of classical fantasy tropes, combined with space scifi.... and yes. there are times when the writing isnt great, or when its outdated, or when it hammers things again and again (like the villan thing). i also think in many places the writing is intriguing, careful, and calls for attention and contemplation of what is happening

and idk apart from something like 1001 nights..... to an extend, i feel abt dune as i feel about game of thrones. i rly love those books. yes theyre writing by an old white man. yes there are parts of them (less than the show id say) which are problamatic and outdated and i could go on a whole list about that. but, i still enjoy them. i think the world grrm martin created is insanely insanelyyy complex, beautiful, fascinating, the lore is some of the deepest and most intriguing ive ever seen, and the character writing - the sheer complexity of the characters, the willingness to show how fucked up humans are and how often things are so stupidly complicated, the way he can get us to love even insufferable characters, the way there are no perfect good heros, the broader anti-war and even climate change message, the harsh and grounded realism of much of the series,,, the way theyre also kinda like magic realism, bc over the books magic keeps coming back more and more, the world becomes more full of mystic and mystery and prophecies which arent 100% true, the way the books are largely a subversion of fantasy tropes. like, yea. theyve got issues, grrm martins writings got issues. but i think theyre brilliant in many ways at the same time 🤷‍♀️

so i guess. yea. im definitely not saying the books dont have issues or theyre perfect or theyre the peak of literature. but im still able to enjoy parts of them

[casbooks]

Books of 2023

Book 37 of 2023

Title: A Young Man in War: Vietnam Phoenix Advisor and a Survivor's Tale Authors: Paul C. Pritchard ISBN: 9781978398023 Tags: FAC, Interrogator, Military Intelligence, O-1 Bird Dog, TWN Beitou, TWN Taiwan, TWN Taiwan - China Palace Hotel, US CIA Central Intelligence Agency, US State Department, US USA 525th Military Intelligence Group, US USA 9th ID, US USA Fort Holabird MD, US USA Fort Holabird MD - Tactical Intelligence Officers Basic Course, US USA United States Army, US USA USSF 5th SFG, US USA USSF Green Berets, US USA USSF Special Forces, US USN PBR Patrol Boat River, US USN SEALS, US USN United States Navy, US USN USS Benewah (APB-35), US USO United Service Organizations, VNM 1968 Tet Offensive (1968) (Vietnam War), VNM An Giang, VNM Battle of Tan Son Nhut (1968) (Tet Offensive) (Vietnam War), VNM Bien Hoa, VNM Bien Hoa Air Base (Vietnam War), VNM Can Tho, VNM Chau Doc, VNM Chu Ba, VNM CIA Phung Hoang / Phoenix Program (1965-1972) (Vietnam War), VNM Cu Duc Special Forces Camp (Vietnam War), VNM DRV NVA North Vietnamese Army, VNM DRV VC Viet Cong, VNM Go Cong, VNM IV Corps (Vietnam War), VNM Mekong Delta, VNM My Tho, VNM Operation Ranch Hand (1962-1971) (Vietnam War), VNM Rach Gia, VNM Rung Sat Special Zone, VNM RVN ARVN 9th ID, VNM RVN ARVN 9th ID - Recon Co, VNM RVN ARVN Army of the Republic of Vietnam, VNM RVN ARVN RF/PF Regional Forces/Popular Forces (Vietnam War), VNM RVN Nguyen Cao Ky, VNM RVN RVNP Can Sat National Police, VNM RVN RVNP CSDB PRU Provincial Reconnaissance Units (Vietnam War), VNM RVNP CSDB Can Sat Dac Biet Special Branch Police, VNM Sa Dec, VNM Saigon, VNM Saigon - Chinese Embassy, VNM Saigon - Phu Tho Racetrack, VNM Tan Son Nhut Air Base, VNM Tra Vinh, VNM U Dau, VNM US Agent Orange (Vietnam War), VNM US MACV Advisory Team 19 (Vietnam War), VNM US MACV Advisory Teams (Vietnam War), VNM US MACV IV Corps Advisory Team (Vietnam War), VNM US MACV Military Assistance Command Vietnam (Vietnam War), VNM US OSA Office of the Special Assistant to the Ambassador (State Department) (CIA) (Vietnam War), VNM USN MRF Mobile Riverine Force (Vietnam War), VNM USN TF 117 MRF Mobile Riverine Force (Vietnam War), VNM Vinh Binh, VNM Vinh Long Rating: ★★★ (3 Stars) Subject: Books.Military.20th-21st Century.Asia.Vietnam War.ARVN, Books.Military.20th-21st Century.Asia.Vietnam War.ARVN.PRU, Books.Military.20th-21st Century.Asia.Vietnam War.US Army.Advisor

Description: Upon his arrival in Vietnam, Lieutenant Paul Clement Pritchard found himself assigned to the Army of the Republic of Vietnam’s Four Corps as a military Advisor. From Four Corps, he was recruited into the Phoenix Program, which was designed to neutralize, capture, interrogate, and kill influential Viet Cong operatives. Pritchard saw horrors as both a military Advisor and a member of a Phoenix provincial reconnaissance unit. He saw violations of the Geneva Convention on both sides and watched as the military slowly ceded the Phoenix Program to government agencies. Throughout his ordeal, Pritchard wrote letters home—letters that gave no indication he’d held the limp body of a bloody baby in his arms, stepped in to prevent the torture of a young woman by his erstwhile allies, or endured sniper attacks and mortar fire. His letters offer a stark contrast to the reality he lived in—the humid, wet world of the Vietnam jungle, where death was an ever-present danger. A unique, candid, honest look at the Vietnam conflict from the ground level, "A Young Man in War" covers months in Pritchard’s life that are seared into his memory, no matter how much he’d like to forget them. **

[xidaer]

i think The Addam's Family Values was the first time i ever properly came into contact with gobble day? and that sort of. really set the mood. i don't even know which day it is hahah and tbh with what the US' conflicting history, i'm kinda glad i'm not on top of all american stuff oof ':D no offense. regarding ur fics tho - i left some comments, but i remember now i totes forgot to mention that the distill pants on caine? paul artreides sends his regards eh :D +the jewel encrusted feather coat!

O

M

G

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You left such lovely comments!!!!! I’m all verklempt! Just color me pink with blushes and sore cheeked from smiling. You’re a sweetheart and honestly the BEST for taking time to read my JA fics then leave such thorough comments. You are adored!!!

I’m so glad you enjoyed my theft of the DUNE pants for Caine’s whump and the glorious, luscious evil that was was the bejeweled coat! I’m linking the story below in case anyone else wants to read it 😄

As to American traditions and history, I totally agree with the WTF racism/white supremacy/genocide of it all. And I’m glad as a white collar worker I get a day off to cook and be with my family. So acknowledge the past/present, fight like hell to change things, and enjoy what I can in America’s capitalist hellscape.

[doopy-n-loopy]

Yan!TF2 × reader headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

// obsessive tendancies, mentions of violence, blood, sexual themes, noncon

[SFW]

Let's start with the defense classes

Defense:

Demoman

Deffo didn't admit that he loved you

Tbh he probably blamed it on his drunkenness

But dude you're always drunk

I mean seriously if he sobers up he'll genuinely die so like-

He would usually drink with you or just around you if you don't drink

He's generally a fun chill guy to be with

He would watch you from a distance at times, especially during battle you might distract the cyclops

He's okay with you asking questions

One time he broke his eyepatch and needed a new one

You gave him a nice black eyepatch with the demoman emblem on it

He gets all red whenever you say his full name, because he knows you remembered it

He is generally against kidnapping, I mean especially since he lives with his ma he'd rather not

And because he's a gentleman

If you ever reciprocate his feelings he'll make sure to treat you right

He is a messy person but for you? He'll clean

Probably would get carried away and make home made bombs with all the cleaning supplies 🤦‍♂️

Takes you to meet his mom

"ooo Tavish, yer gonna get me some grand kiddos are ya?"

That made you both blush like crazy

Soft cheek kisses

Probably made a special bomb and named it after you

"this one's for you, luv!" *Proceeds to set off all stickybombs which blows up the entire enemy team*

Blew up the last guy who looked at you funny

Hell, even worse when they make a sexual remark to you scout probably did it

Likes to give you your space but when he's paranoid he follows you to wherever or watched you from a distance

Heavy

Two words: big boy

Hugs are 10000000000/10

Sometimes it fewls suffocating but man it's like hugging a cloud

Soft forehead kisses

Russian pet names

He sometimes lets you touch Sasha, that's how he knows he loves you because he doesn't even let medic, his best friend, touch her

Probably named a gun after you or one of the pet names he calls you

You definitely met his family and they loved you

Zana especially

Doesn't get jealous easily but will not hesitate to unload 12 pounds of bullets into someone who even LOOKS at you the wrong way

Lord have mercy on the ones who dare flirt with you, rest in pieces scout

Doesn't really follow you anywhere (you're a bit too fast for him) but he does watch you and check up on you

He preforms okay on the battlefield but when you're around, he'll show off

Will cook for you, mainly russian dishes

He's very against kidnapping and would rather not do it

Doesn't shut up about you when he's around medic

Engineer

F l u f f y

Very softspoken in general but he gets all flustered when you talk to him

Will check up on you occasionally

"Darlin'" "Honey bunny" things like that y'know

Huge smile when you're around

Will cook for you most definitely, knows what you like

Makes little robots for you

Likes seeing you use his dispenser

Doesn't get jealous easily either but will try and take you away from someone who wants your attention

Likes just having you in his presence, doesn't need to talk to be happy with you around

Very very against kidnapping like all other defense classes, wouldn't do it unless if he truly felt the need to, last resort kind of thing

The last guy who flirted with you had a sentry gun shoved up his ass

Doesn't really follow you anywhere

Offense:

Scout

Nothing short of a horomonal teenager

I mean he's 21 but

He gets so giddy around you, very loud, tries to show off

He loves you very much

"oh yeah? Well I once absolutely smashed a guy into peices, he was still screaming when he was dead!"

He brags about brutal things but hey you love it since you're also brutal

Flexes his non-existent muscles around you

Would talk about his mom to you all day

Definitely got a tattoo of your face and name somewhere on his body, most likely his bicep

Your name is probably misspelled too but you never say anything about it because he can't read so it's fine

He hasn't really thought about kidnapping in all honesty, again, a last resort kinda thing if he can't get you to love him

He will make a damn SCENE if anyone flirts with you

"you think that's funny, chucklenuts? I eat guys like you for breakfast lunch AND dinner!" "I'll blow yer freakin head off if ya talk to y/n like that again!" Would definitely drag you away

God help anyone that makes you uncomfortable, he'll fuck them up, if that person is medic I mean he'll try to but we all know how fucking scary medic is

Follows you at times

Pyro

"Mphmphmpph"

Seems more lovey around you

Definitely gave you a hand full of the enemy's bloody bones thinking it was a bouquet of flowers

Absolute baby

Just so precious, scary but precious

Hugs for days

Good luck trying to get their ass off of you when you're on cease-fire

Very warm though, they smell like smoke with a bit of blood

Likes petting you

Isn't against the idea of kidnap because they don't realize what they're actually doing, they think they're just taking you to a magical place

Snuggles

When someone flirts with you their whole world changes

Gets angry and starts yelling at them

"MPHMPHMOHMPHHH! MPHMPHNHUMAHUMA!" - Pyro 2021

Will not let you get a checkup alone, he trusts medic but not with you

Very sweet tho, he'll turn around when you need to strip down

Will follow you almost EVERYWHERE and if they can, while holding your hand

Soldier

Yells at you a little less than the others

At first doesn't realize how he feels but then realizes that he loves you

Is pretty protective over you

Rants about America all day to you

Probably got you an american flag to wear

Doesn't really take off his helmet but he likes seeing you in it, makes him proud

If you ever live with him you'll find out that he owns like 20 racoons

"YOU ARE CUTER THAN A RACOON" "YOU WILL BE SAFE ON THE BATTLEFIELD, DO YOU HEAR ME MAGGOT?"

He loudly wakes everyone up in the morning but tries to avoid waking you up

Loves you as much as he loves America

Will show off on the battlefield for you

Isn't against kidnapping you, he probably did it early on if you showed immediately that you didn't reciprocate his feelings

Will blow any guy that hits on you to absolute bits

"MAGGOT DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WILL LEAVE THE LADY/MAN ALONE THIS INSTANT!"

Probably put you on his back and rocket jumped just to show you what it felt like

Follows you around a lot, it's really obvious because he wears a bucket over his head and crashes into things, when you look back he'll stand behind a lamp post or somewhere really obvious

Support

Ah yes, everyones favorite class including mine

Sniper

Very quiet

Takes secret glances at you

Pays more attention to you than the others

S h y

Asks how you are, how you slept, etc

Doesn't really need to be holding you, tbh he's against PDA

But he likes being in your presence

Just sit down next to him and he'll be fine

When he's on the battlefield, he'll look for you and make sure you're safe

God forbid anyone try to hurt you, he'll make them suffer

Talks about Australia to you and accidentally admitted that he wanted to take you there

Doesn't like the idea of kidnapping but he isn't totally against it, I can see him doing it

He smuggled you all the damn way to Australia

He'll nonchalantly show off to you on the battlefield, he'll let you get cornered and come in to save the day

"love" is a word he uses a lot with you

Will grumble to himself if he sees someone flirting with you

If it's a random person, well, that'll be the last time you ever see them

Has talked about you to his parents

Kind of follows you? I mean he sits atop a high placeand watches you through his scope whenever you're going somewhere

Spy

SEDUCTIVE ASF

He knows what he's doing

Will kiss your hand a lot

Likes to flirt with you and see you blush

"honhonhon"

Sleazy french fucker

Watched you from afar at first then approached you a little later

Isn't against the idea of kidnapping, pro kidnapping, definitely did it not only to have you to himself but for some sort of sexual satisfaction

Just very uh... Lewd? Can't find the right word

He treats you very respectfully though

If he hears anyone else flirting with you he'll be fuming but won't show it

"Oh please, like you could EVER satisfy y/n's desires"

That person mysteriously disappeared that night

Very cocky bastard

Definetly follows you home, not only that but he watches you through your window

And stalks you

He knows everything about you

Would get you either by knocking you unconscious or by blackmailing you

Medic

B a s t a r d

Gets LOUD when you're around

And giddy

Very touchy, always has a reason to put his hands on you

Talks a lot with you around, I mean he already talks a lot but now he won't shut up

Keeps his office nice and clean for you

He restocks on everything so when you come around you can take a loot at all his medicines

Big smile :D

Like spy he is not at all against kidnapping you

Makes sure you're comfortable during checkups

Will make you wait to be seen last just so he can take his time touching your body

"it's all part of the procedure".mp3

Compliments you in weird ways, ex: "your skin is so smooth and lovely, it's the perfect texture to make leather out of" "you have an amazing colon"

Look he's just trying his best here he has a screw loose

You're the only member who he's careful with really

Sometimes allows you to get hurt or has you get hurt by something just so you can see him

Always follows you wherever

Knows everything about you

If someone is flirting with you, he'll get quiet at first and use a low tone to speak to them

"you have guts talking to y/n like that"

They were never seen again

With kidnapping, he won't hesitate to use blackmail against you, or will just use anesthesia

Bonus: Pauling

Pauling

This lady values her work over her life, but to her you're so much more important

Will call you a lot on the battlefield to check in on you

Won't give you extremely hard missons to do because she doesn't want you to get hurt

"Hey (class), Pauling here. I need you... No not like that I just- I mean- for a mission yeah a mission"

Gets all flustered when you're around

Will take her only day off to spend time with you, what a sweetheart

Keeps multiple tabs on you

Follows you around

Doesn't really have time for kidnapping

But if it comes to that, she'll make something up so she has a reason to kidnap you

If anyone else is flirting with you she won't show that she's annoyed

She'll make something up as an excuse to execute them

[NSFW]

Defense

Demo

Has definitely thought of what you'd look like while naked

B l u s h

Has used a mental image of you to get off before

Probably has an actual photo of you

When he drinks a little more than usual, he'll accidentally brush his hand against your ass or get touchy with you

Will not force himself on you, he's 100% against that

If you decide to have sex with him, praise is what you're gonna get

"you're as beautiful as a shot of whiskey in the sunrise"

Very gentle with his hands

Heavy

Not the type to masturbate

Unless if he gets THAT worked up

Again, against forcing himself on you

But if you want it no doubt you will top

He's also gentle with you

And loving

Praise is all you're gonna get

Sometimes russian sometimes broken english

Either way he will worship your body

Engi

Again, a more modest guy, doesn't really touch himself

Might just use a robot to pleasure himself when thinking about you

Probably has a photo of you and him around his workshop

Never forces himself on you

He's sweet and gentle when you do want it though

Sometimes gets help from his robot friends

Offense

Scout

Gets off on thinking about you

Won't force himself on you though

Sexual remarks × 100

Calls you handsome/beautiful in bed

I wouldn't say he's the best in bed but hey he's good I guess

Cuddles after sex most likely

Probablh threw out all his sexual magazines because they just didn't do the trick anymore

Sometimes when he runs past you, your shirt/skirt gets lifted up by a gust of wind and he can't help but look ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)

Since I hit the text limit, I'll be making a part 2, stay tuned

[bulletnotestudies]

I’d love to hear your lgbtq+ book recs!!

I hope you have a lovely weekend as well!

well now you've opened pandora sabrina's box asgdbhjq

okay firstly, lemme just link u to some recs we've previously compiled in the studyblr w/knives server: top 2021 books, lgbtq+ main character, trans main character (more recs incoming next month ;))

and now, to single out some recent(ish) faves: (cut bc this is long)

exciting times (n. dolan) - contemporary fiction they say this is the closest it gets to sally rooney but i haven't read any of her books so i wouldn't know about that. i would, however, know that i absolutely love the writing in this one - barely anything happens and i rarely like plotless books and yet here i am, tabbing the hell out of this book

gideon the ninth (t. muir) - sci-fi horror fantasy it took a little for me to get used to the writing but oh. my. god. it destroyed me in the best way possible and i already have the sequel on my shelves, waiting till after finals to dig in (very much recommend it - feel free to dm me and i can tell u more)

the charm offensive (a. cochrun)* - contemporary rom-com this had the lovely vibes red, white & royal blue has; i read it in a day and had a blast, it also has a main character of color and neurodiverse rep!

the six of crows duology (l. bardugo) - ya fantasy you surely already know abt it, but it's among my all time absolute faves so of course i have to mention it

the raven cycle (m. stiefvater) - ya urban fantasy same reason as with soc lol

things have gotten worse since we last spoke (e. larocca)* - conteporary epistolary horror horror indeed. chilling, gripping, delightfully horrifying and fucking disgusting - i probs won't ever be rereading but man, it was a ride

damaged like us (b.&k. ritchie)* - contemporary romance is this the height of literature? certainly not. but did i enjoy it and read it at lightning speed? i did. i really did.

the house in the cerulean sea (t.j. klune) - urban fantasy a hug in book form. reading this feels like being bundled up in ur fave blanket, sipping your fave hot beverage and Vibing™

hepdale rain trilogy (c. paul)* - ya urban fantasy i don't like werewolf stories. these books tho? had me in a chokehold. the characters are amazing, the writing is lovely af, and each book is better than the last.

the atlas six (o. blake)* - urban fantasy some ppl hated this but me? it made me go absolutely insane. i was making inhumane noises as this took my heart and twisted it in like 5 diff dimensions, 5 stars, immediate new fave.

top secret (e. kennedy, s. bowen)* - contemporary romance kinda a frat house you've got mail au. shameless smut ngl. a great pick if u just want sth quick, super non-demanding to read while getting over a book that ruined u lol

him (e. kennedy, s. bowen)* - contemporary sports romance same as the previous, just with the hockey gays flavor this time.

cemetery boys (a. thomas) - ya urban fantasy this. book. asdfsdghfjkl. my poor heart. just sweet and so soft, but at the same time amazing at tackling themes like your identity and belonging and culture and

simon vs. the homo sapiens agenda (b. albertalli) - ya contemporary romance a classic by this point, but i read it in 2018 and def wanna reread :')

heartstopper (a. oseman) - ya contemporary romance the graphic novel that stole our hearts <3 also go watch it on netflix everyone (if u want to Emote be consumed by warmth)

the magic between (s. hoyt) - magical realism romance this wasn't exactly a fave, but the dedication reads "for all the bisexuals out there - this one's for you." and yes. the bisexual rep this world deserves

*contains (varying degrees of) graphic sexual content

okay i'll stop with that for now, feel free to ask for more literally any time. but bc i cannoT shut up and you have been warned, here are some fantastic lgbtq+ books i have on my tbr (recs courtesy of my friends with superb reading tastes):

the darkness outside us (e. schrefer) - ya sci-fi romance my preordered paperback is on its way as we speak

in the dream house (c. m. machado) - non fiction a memoir that apparently doesn't read as non fiction and tackles multiple incredibly important topics

if we were villains (m. l. rio) - contemporary mystery i won't even say anything, this has been on my tbr for 6 years and that's that.

summer sons (l. mandelo) - urban fantasy (magical realism?idk) this was pitched to me as "the raven cycle but darker and more unhinged". sold immediately lmao

heated rivalry (r. reid) - contemporary sports romance hockey gays with a lot of angst

crush (r. siken) - poetry

iron widow (x. j. zhao) - sci-fi

the starless sea (e. morgenstern) - urban fantasy

19 days (o. xian) - manga

the gilded wolves trilogy (r. chokshi) - historical fantasy

if you have any recs for me (any genre), definitely do drop them in my asks or dms and if you ever run out of books of a specific genre to read or just wanna scream about a book, you know where to find me ✨

[gleeandshame]

Semi live blog gbbo 2023 ep 9

Below the cut

Alison out :(

Noel’s jacket covering part of his shirt makes the :( frowny faces more prominent

Which is how I feel without Alison

Oh gosh, no offense to these men, but Tasha is my only fave left and if she’s gone I feel the personalities left are not that exciting to me

Like they’re all nice enough but womp

Paullywood scared of matcha, zzzzzz

“Just quiet”

Looooool Matty and Noel remembered the turn off oven bit. Fridge and oven for Tasha 😂

I hope Tasha’s butter cream doesn’t endanger her

Tasha whispering well done and Matty mouthing and signing thank you, bless

They didn’t even mention her Swiss texture

But her slightly over bake… well matty had his over so I don’t have to worry yet

This is random but if I was a bakery I would do themes with gbbo releases because ppl will be craving everything they make lol

I don’t know what a Tonka bean is but Paul actually liking a matcha something

Dan handshake, he does seem to like flavors

I’ve never had an apple tart?

Idk if I’ve had frangipane…

Oh no, Tasha’s is looking rough

Is matty really just copying Josh, lol

I know how the fruit should look from watching this show enough but true I probably couldn’t pull it off tho so like

Oh Josh’s first first in technical? Good for him

I would 🔪 Paul if he talked about me “coming back”

Happy birthday Tasha!!!!

I hope Tasha’s risk pans out, it usually does! But we’ll see

Unfortunately I would have to ask a disaster on someone else’s…

://///

Hard when patisserie is so late in the game, nowhere to hide

Thanks for helping, Dan

Yeah… three strikes you’re out

Josh star baker obvious

My giiiiirl 🥲

Like fair but she will be missed

Welp… finale next week

[cookinguptales]

when I say I am crying laughing

it's true tho my nsfw output is directly proportional to how fucking dumb and offensive paul simms has been lately

me this morning: idk if I'm ready to write nandermo again... I'm still so sore about s5... I'm not sure I can write a fic that's s5-compliant that still feels right...

me after reading yet another interview where paul simms says that nandor and guillermo's relationship is too profound to sully with sex: oh no I'm going to write them having sex the second I get home. I may even do it on the plane if no one buys that seat next to me. fuck s5, I no longer feel bound by the parameters you've set for me. I have reached My Breaking Point. the canon was nice for about three and a half seasons, but I'm fine, I'll take it from here.

[coreyseagersheartythighs]

just saw a leaked version of the silver slugger winners and it had goldschmidt as the NL 1B winner and if that’s accurate good god what in the world does Joey Votto have to do to get some goddamn recognition

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Headcanons of Edd, Matt, Tord, Tom, Patryk and Paul coming across their S/o, who is holding Minus!Tord in their arms and appearantly has befriend him?

Any of the guys: Whatcha got there?

S/O, holding Minus!Tord: A smoothie

..............

Edd

At first he's like "WOAH COOL ALIEN DEMON TORD!!!"

But since Minus Tord is an alternate version of his ex-friend, Edd's understandably wary of his intentions.

The little guy reassures him he's not gonna take over the world. He's been hanging out with you and learning about cool earth things(tm).

He's got stories to share about other Minus mods likes himself (ie Minus Tricky, Zardy, etc.). They're all just creatuers who live simple existences.

All in all Edd's cool with Minus Tord...except the latter's appetite for bacon (an all-too-familiar problem Edd and the real Tord had way back when).

Matt

"Awwww tiny Tord you're so cute omg!!"

"Matt, please-"

He thinks Minus Tord is the cutest little thing and is 100% harmless.

At least until he tries petting his horns/hair and the devilish creature bites him in return.

Cut to Matt crying hysterically as you try to bandage his bleeding fingers (think of that Camp Camp scene when David got his hand stabbed by a pocket knife) while Minus Tord stands nearby in annoyance.

"Be lucky it wasn't your face."

Tord

"Ah, I see there's more of me for you to love now."

He just has the biggest grin as he sees this little demon creature in your arms tho he thinks he (Tord) should be the one in your arms instead.

He'd def teach Minus Tord all about human weaponry and would be awestruck when the latter shows off Minus Tordbot.

Tord jokes about trying to take over the world again but Minus Tord would rather cuddle with you and take a nap-

In a way, your bf's a dad now.

Tom

*screams in terror* "GET YOUR DOG B I T C H"

"He don't bite-"

"YES HE DO."

Minus Tord is just as bad as the real deal--not to mention being an attention hog who drags you away to show off his inventions.

So Tom threatens him with a harpoon, which terrifies Minus Tord (not bc of the connection to the harpoon that destroyed Tordbot, but bc human weaponry in general scares him).

Ofc it backfires as he just runs into your arms and you glare at Tom.

Patryk

"Since when did our leader become so....short?"

Minus Tord takes full offense but you manage to calm him down.

"Pat here is a pilot...didn't you say you piloted your own robot head?"

And that's how a friendship formed between them.

While swapping aircrafts for a day, Pat had zero clue on how to fly Minus Tordbot and nearly crashes it a few times.

And Minus Tord was confused by all the controls of the plane and flew into another cloudberg.

Paul

He's seen weird stuff during his time in the Red Army.

But a mini devilish version of his leader?? Who also sings??? That's strange as hell.

Minus Tord would prob take advantage of his confusion and order him to do random shit (and Paul would bc he doesn't know wtf to do).

Tho you intervene and pick him up like "hey, no bossing my bf around..only Tord or I get to do that."

You wink at Paul, who blushes a bit but says nothing.