#no offence but i think being in this country kind of sucks

[infernalhomo]

bhggg did not miss having to listen to my dad say racist shit out of nowhere every three hours bc he thinks it's funny

[bex-la-get]

Hi! I'm new to tumblr and... can I request a fic where Ethan is the one who ask questions to Nat to test the new fMRI scan, but it is set on book 2 instead. Thank you and I admire your writings!

NONNY!!! I absolutely love this!!! I'm gonna say this takes place in mid-Book 2-ish.

K, before we start, I just wanna throw a disclaimer out there: my memory of Book 2 is fuzzy which means mistakes are likely. Sorry in advance if I get something wrong. Also, I'm not a medical professional, so any mistakes made are my own. Thank you.

Okay, let's go!!

Nat sat on the couch of the Diagnostics Office, absent-mindedly staring out the window and chewing on her lower lip. The last few weeks had been exhausting. Between the news that Edenbrook had lost its funding, Kyra's diagnosis, and the stress of being a Junior Fellow on the DT, it was all beginning to feel like it was too much. She wasn't sure how much more she could take at this point.

"Hey, you okay?" a voice asked.

She turned to the source and found Ethan looking at her, eyebrows furrowed in concern. She hadn't even heard him come in. She sat up straight. "Yeah, sorry; just needed to take a break."

"Nat," he said, coming to sit next to her. "It's okay if you're not. You don't have to be 'okay' all the time."

She sighed. "I know."

"What's going on?"

Nat shook her head. "Just... feeling a little overwhelmed is all. With everything going on as it is, it just kind of feels like a little too much."

Ethan nodded sympathetically. "I understand. The last few weeks have been... challenging, to say the least." Nat nodded in agreement and he gently ran his fingers along the back of her hand. "I wish I could offer you words of wisdom or at least better advice." He said, smiling sheepishly.

She gave him a small smile. "Just being here for me is enough. Thank you."

He returned her smile and linked his pinky with hers, giving it a tight squeeze. "I don't know if it will provide the distraction you need, but I could use your help with something if you have a few minutes?" Nat nodded. "The fMRI machine went on the fritz about a week ago and I was just told that it's back in working order. I'd like to test it out and make sure that it really is working normally. Care to help me out?"

"Sure," Nat said, "but only if you ask the questions this time. It's only fair since I did it last time."

Ethan chuckled and nodded. "Deal."

The two of them made their way to the imaging lab, set Nat up within the machine, then Ethan made his way into the control room. "Can you hear me?" he asked.

"Loud and clear, boss," Nat replied.

"Good. I presume you remember the drill from last year. I'll ask you some questions and see how your brain responds as you answer."

"Sounds good."

"All right. First question: What is your middle name?"

Nat scoffed over the speakers. "That's your first question?"

"What's wrong with the question?"

"It's boring. I distinctly remember asking you some scandalous questions."

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Just answer the question, Rookie."

"Fine. Paige."

Ethan pursed his lips. Natalie Paige Cusack. Very pretty. Very her. Tucking this new knowledge into the back of his head he nodded as the scanner showing her brain lit up.

"All right. Next question: do you have any siblings?"

"Ethan, these are questions you can ask me in casual conversation," Nat protested. "Ask me something fun! I thought the point of this was to provide me a distraction, after all."

Ethan chuckled and shook his head. "Fine, answer this question while I think of something fun to ask you."

"Deal! In answer to your question, yes. I have an older brother named Victor but everyone calls him Vic. The only time I call him Victor is when he's in trouble."

"And just how often is he in trouble?" Ethan asked, amused. Nat's hippocampus lit up as she thought of her answer and he raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"When we were kids? All the time," she answered, giggling. "As an adult, less often. Though it still happens."

Ethan chuckled and nodded. "All right. Per your request, here's a fun question. What's an embarrassing story from your childhood?"

"Oooh, you went right for the jugular. Respect. I like it. Okay, um... have I ever told you the goblin story?"

"The goblin story?"

She laughed. "Oh, man! You're gonna love this. Okay, so when I was little, I had a pretty big nose. I grew into it as I got older, but when I was little, it wasn't proportional to my face at all." Ethan listened to the story with an amused smile on his face as the scan showed her pregenual anterior cingulate cortex light up during her story.

"One night," she continued, "I stupidly fell asleep with gum in my mouth and woke up with it all in my hair. It was a nightmare."

"Oh no," Ethan said.

"Yep," Nat confirmed. "It was so bad that the only thing we could do was cut as much out of it as possible, which left me with this terrible haircut that, low-key, had me looking like I had been electrified.

"Anyway, Vic's knee-jerk response at seeing me with my short hair and big nose was to promptly call me goblin. And the stupid nickname stuck! He still calls me it even though it was over twenty years ago!" She paused in her storytelling, expecting to hear a response but heard nothing instead. "Ethan? Are you there? You better not have left!"

The speakers turned on and all she heard was his laughter. "Are you laughing?! Ethan!"

Ethan tried to speak through his laughter. "I'm sorry, I sympathize, really." He laughed again and Nat rolled her eyes.

"You are the worst, you know that?" she told him.

"Sorry Nat," he said, finally getting his laughter under control. "I'm sure you made a very cute goblin."

Nat rolled her eyes. "Ugh, just ask your next question, Ramsey."

He chuckled again and thought for a moment when a question appeared in the back of his mind. Rationally, he knew he shouldn't ask it. It wasn't exactly professional and went against the reset rule he initiated.

But he had enjoyed getting to know more about Nat and he was curious. “Tell me about your first kiss.”

“Trying to figure out how I got such high standards?” she joked.

He rolled his eyes. “I’m trying to trigger an emotional response in your brain. Go.”

She giggled. “Hmm.. first kiss. Um, it was my first boyfriend, Matt. I was a Freshman in high school and he kissed me during the slow dance at our Homecoming dance.”

Her limbic system lit up on the scanner. “Sounds romantic,” he mused, pushing down the surge of jealousy he felt at the thought Nat kissing another man, even if it had been when she was significantly younger.

“Mm, not really. He wasn’t really good at it. He was kind of slobbery, if I’m being honest.”

Ethan scrunched up his face. “Gross.”

“Very,” she confirmed.

“Last question,” he said. He knew this was approaching risky territory but damn it, if Nat didn’t make him want to throw every one of his morals and rules right out the window. And, if he were honest... he really wanted to hear the answer to this question. “What was the best kiss you’ve ever had?”

“Hmm...” she hummed in thought for a long moment, Ethan’s heart pounding as he waited for her reply. Finally, she spoke. “New Year’s Eve, 2017.”

Ethan’s heart sunk. “Oh? Why then?”

“My ex-boyfriend was moving. He had accepted a position at one of the National Labs in New Mexico and I knew I was staying on the East Coast so we split. When the Ball dropped at midnight, he gave me a goodbye kiss. Then he got in a moving van the next day and moved across the country.”

Her amygdala lit up like a Christmas Tree and Ethan frowned. Clearly that memory was still fresh for her. “That’s enough questions, Nat. I think we’ve done our job here.” 

Ethan stopped the machine and met Nat back in the lab as she stood up. Ethan had been prepared for Nat to be sad after that last story but instead, he found her smiling up at him. “That was fun. I needed that.”

“You needed to be put into a giant metal machine and have your brain looked at?” Ethan asked.

She lightly hit his shoulder. “You know that’s not what I mean.” Her smile grew, making Ethan’s heart skip a beat. “Thank you, Ethan. I appreciate the distraction.”

“I’m glad it helped,” he said, returning her smile.

“Well, I better go make my rounds,” she said as she began to make her way out of the lab. 

“Hey, Nat,” Ethan called. In a flash, he grabbed her hand, pulled her back to him, and cupped her face with his hands, giving her a searing kiss. Nat made a quiet noise of surprise at Ethan’s gesture but quickly melted into the kiss, her lips matching his fervor. His hands moved from her face to her waist as he pulled her impossibly closer, her arms circling around his neck as if to hold him in place. 

Neither knew how long they stood there. It could have been hours, days, even years. It didn’t matter; they didn’t care. In that moment, all they cared about was each other and they both hoped that the moment, however long it may have been, never ended.

But alas, eventually they broke apart at the sound of Nat’s pager beeping. Their lips separated, but neither moved very far apart, as they both fought to catch their breath. Ethan’s eyes were still closed, his forehead resting against hers as Nat opened her eyes. She nuzzled her nose against his and sucked in a breath when his blue eyes opened, locking with hers.

“What was all that for?” she asked in a whisper. 

He smiled sheepishly. “I may have taken slight offence as not being your best kiss ever.”

She pulled away slightly to look at him better, a giggle on her lips. “Did you get jealous after hearing about my ex?”

“No,” he retorted, defensively.

This time, she laughed. “You did! I can’t believe it, Ethan Ramsey got jealous. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re never going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope,” she confirmed. She leaned in close again and placed another chaste kiss on his lips. “But don’t worry, Ethan. You have nothing to worry about.” She pulled out of their embrace as her pager beeped again (thankfully it was just a notification that her latest lab test results were in and not an emergency). “I’ve had some much better kisses since then. One of them, in this very room.”

Ethan smirked. “Glad to hear I made the running.”

She returned his smirk. “You also might be interested to know, I was lying. That New Year’s kiss was best kiss I’ve ever had. But it was beat by a mysterious tall doctor on a balcony in Miami last year. You might remember him; he was a bit of a risk taker, that one.”

He chuckled. “He sounds familiar, I admit.”

“I hope he comes back,” she said as she made her way out of the room. “His kisses are mind-blowing.” She winked at him as she finished her statement then sauntered out of the room, leaving a smirking Ethan, shaking his head, behind.

Tag list below the cut:

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added/removed):  @genevievemd @jamespotterthefirst @paulfwesley @ethansdique @openheartfanfics @perriewinklenerdie @little-flowers-on-heaven @stateofgracious @coffeeheartaddict @liaromancewriter @potionsprefect @mm2305 @gryffindordaughterofathena @actuallybored @writer-ish @queencarb @takeharryandgo @lsvdw-blog @itsjustwinter​ @imaneditorthankyouverymuch-deac @chaoticchopshopheart​ @ohchoices​ @maurine07​ @oldminniemcg​ @parisa-kh​ @shanzay44​ @uberamsey @izzyourresidentlawyer​ @adiehardfan​ @custaroonie​ @mia143​ @a-crepusculo​ @takemyopenheart​ @toadfrog26​ @quixoticdreamer16​ @barbean​ @headoverheelsforramsey​ @natureblooms24 @jerzwriter @crazy-loca-blog @dorisz

[fiore-rosewood9]

♫FrUk :D

Thank you for the ask, I will send a few songs that remind me of fruk, a whole playlist if you may, not only one song. I also touch a few of triggering topics as I explain the nations's personalities and relationships with one another so I apologize in advance if I upset/trigger someone and will put my trigger here - Warning - mentions of abuse, alcoholism, s*exual trauma. Under the explanation there is a playlist of songs that make me think of Ukfr/Fruk, so if anyone gets upset you can feel free to skip my general headcanons about fruk/ukfr relationship dynamics. There are too many songs that make me think of different characters or ships but I collected the ones that make me think the most of them.

I know the original song is by Lady gaga but this version is too sweet and cheesy for me so I chose the rock cover by the group Halestorm since I prefer it, it sounds more genuine and rough and kinda makes me think of the dynamic that ukfr/fruk has, that some people present is as just the enemies to lovers trope or them just fighting which is.....simply unhealthy????? Fruk is much more than that and I wish people would stop seeing it as a two dimensional thing, yeah they do argue on a lot of things and it is not the healthiest dynamic however it does work in my mind because they stick through thin and thick and that requires effort and true love since a lot of people nowdays do not take time to know the other person, they just jump into marriage and have a few divorces and just argue over everything and then separate, fruk is an off and on thing where they break and make. This kind of dedication is hard to find in today's couples. I know they're fictional characters and no one really cares but I practice my psychology skills and my knowledge of people around me, and I sometimes see people with similar or almost the same characters as fictional characters, they may not have all of their hobbies but they do act the same way. And certain pairs, no offence, just make me want to gag my self due to history with bad and toxic fans but if I look at it subjectivly and never encountered mean fans from a certain ship, I would say that they ship simply doesn't work. No ship bashing but as far as I know, people with this kind of personality from this ship that I dislike, and get upset when seeing fan art of, simply just do not get along and had a hard time divorcing, it is not only unhealthy and unbalanced, it is downright abusive because both partners seek control and to have the upper hand and this is not...what romance is about???? It is about two people taking care of each other, understanding personal space and boundaries, lifting each other up and yeah, they will argue a lot, sometimes for small things, sometimes for bigger things, but generally the point of romantic relationships is not someone using you, or abusing you financially and generally being better or bigger than you. This breeds insecurity and jealousy in the other partner and makes them feel inadequate. Usually such problems are not talked over and one of the partners acts passive agressive which is what ultimaltly leads to said divorce. So yeah, people can go away with their (BUT IT IS CUTE, IT IS SO FUCKING CUTE) pairing because real life pairings and how humans communicate and develop friendships and relationships isn't based on what your mind conciders and doesn't concider cute and there are lots of factors on whether relationship will ever happen like common interests, type personality, etc and just block me so I will never hear from them and their childish mindset ever again, which is why I blocked certain tumbrl fan art hetalia accounts who produce art of a pairing I (dislike) lowkey hate, for historical reasons, for manga reasons, for toxic fans who bullied me and made me go on 3 hiatuses reason and ultimatly in real life experience and psychology and how humans and the human mind works and what is healthy and unhealthy reason. Why should I support something where certain people have been hateful towards me and these same people that act like these characters and I know in my life are on bad terms in real life? Why shouldn't I just move on to something more realistic and more healthy, that I have seen that works with humans I know first hand? I am not a clinical psychologist and I have no power or saying in this but I had to write thesis and read books by psycholgists and analyze them in high school and my first year of Uni, in order to pass the year and I have also read reccomended books by a psychologist I went to because I wanted an advice on how to deal with my anxiety and talking to people, because my condition is extremely severe but I honestly feel stuck and try to improve but also feel confused, I sometimes feel like I am not doing enough to

self improve as a human. I sometimes come off as too cold or overly bitter and angry without intending to, and it sucks.

Francis is a really manipulative person and Matthew picked up that from him while part of Alfred's agression doesn't only come from confidence in his own abilities but the fact that England him self is an overly agressive person and is very dominant or at least used to be for a very long time, now he is more mild to keep his gentleman persona but he does suffer from severe anger issues which he hides while Alfred is prone to breaking things and screaming, Arthur is more prone to being rude, sarcastic and generally mean before he loses it. Matthew and Francis do not engage in fight if they can avoid it which is why sometimes people call them cowardly I think? And Matthew is a bit prone to being a codependent people pleaser as far as I see and he seems to have severe anxiety issues. Francis albeit charismatic and beautiful, is deep down in his core lonely.

I think that part of his pervertedness, shocking people with his s*xual humour and all of this sex obsession comes from trauma in his childhood and dressing like a girl. I wouldn't explain what the trauma in question was since it is not canon but I do headcanon that he had s*xual trauma and it is partly why Hungary dressed like a guy. I don't know if this is legit, it is bias from reading too much japanese fan comics relating to hetalia or just general history of humans and how they treated consent and what is moral today, wasn't amoral or against the law a few centuries ago, but I have seen artists touch on it. I think both Arthur and Francis suffer from neglect and they weren't particularly good fathers, in fact no country is, the whole FACE family is dysfunctional and while I love all of them, I kinda pity them. I think Rome was a bit discriminatory mostly towards France and never towards his other children while Arthur had to constantly prove him self and was bullied by his brothers. While other nations have suffered from trauma too (I headcanon that Prussia was burnt on stake and people threw rocks at him due to his albinism and being left handed) something similar happened to Arthur, who I headcanon that he was burnt for being a witch and Francis went a few times through the guillotine, or Arthur still having a bullet scar on his arm from the American revolution or Francis having nightmares from that day where Jeanne was burnt and waking up in his own sweat. Arthur also must suffer from workholism and alcoholism, judging by how much he works and goes to pubs to drink. Everyone chooses their own poison and how to cope with life and many use unhealthy coping mechanisms, hell, even I used unhealthy coping mechanisms a lot in the past and I am not proud of them, in fact, I try to improve.

I can talk about their history and how it relates to their mental health and what scars they have for hours but I would bore you. You came for a song and I am probably boring you so I apologize for writting a lot of words, in advance. I basically think that fruk/ukfr is the ultimate ship for many reasons because they click, I do ship spuk/engita/asakiku and many other things but fruk/ukfr is kinda like butter and bread, it is a great combination. I never said it is 100 percent healthy, however their relationship makes psychological sense and their personalities click. I know people like to present arthur as this dumb tsundere man that blushes and says baka, or he is this garbage rat dad that no one likes or francis is presented or at least used to be this perverted sex machine that touched other countries inappropriatly or at least the 2012-2015 fans saw him this way and while he still has the reputation of a pervert, what many young people in the fandom see as disgusting, I just see as an overly lonely man that just happens to have high libido and copes with it by having casual sex and just has a sex humour, the same way some people have fart jokes humour or darker, more cursed humour, I am really glad that fans mostly left off this whole - Francis is a r**ist and will grope you, in the past, because honestly r**e is not joke and as a character he clearly understands consent and boundaries and I don't think someone like him would do such a thing. Also Greece and Turkey have even higher libido than him and sleep around more, yet he is the ''pervert'', I don't get it??????????? but fruk is just so much more than opposites attract, they have a lot in common so I can't say they're full opposites, no one is truly. I have heard people ask why does anyone ship fruk when it is just opposites attract/enemies to lovers trope and I am honestly confused, because that is extremely rough generalization to say the least, it is like saying - All men/women are the same, it is simply wrong/uncorrect. I think they ''married'' five times - The Treaty of Paris (1657) formed an alliance against Spain. The Anglo-French Alliance (1716–31) formed another alliance against Spain. The Anglo-French blockade of the Río de la Plata (1845-1850). The Anglo-French joint invasion of Qing Dynasty (1856–1860). And the last one which is their official marriage The Entente Cordiale (1904) fought together in both World Wars. As far as I remember Francis tried to marry Arthur but he refused and why he refused is up for subjective opinion but I must write a whole thesis on why Fruk/ukfr works so well and people are not here for that, they're here for the music and I will provide. I also always saw Francis as the more gentle and more submissive partner, I just love to see him drawn in frilly beautiful dresses with bows and stuff and Arthur as the more dominant, I mean as a country he was a powerhouse during the 1600s-1800s and used to be a punkrocker, usually rockers are mentally tough and that man is extremely cunning and witty so...people drawing him as this useless baka uwu overly feminine anorexic boy that looks more like a tween rather than a 23 year old guy just assasinated his character in my opinion and it disturbs me but I am just some awkward human on the internet and no one values my opinion anyway because this is the internet and many people nowdays love to have hot takes and try to gain followers through clickbait stuff which sometimes goes out of control and everything just seems more fake and shallow to me, the more old I get.Okay that was my silly rant no one asked about but I feel really passionate about hetalia and Fruk/Ukfr. Anyway, I apologize again for my long rant and going all over the place, please enjoy this playlist

PLAYLIST WITH SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF FRUK/UKFR

1 - Halestorm - Bad romance - rock cover https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll4NJs3NBIU

2 - Queen - Somebody to love - lyrics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj69iA_goIk

3 - ABBA - Voulez vous - (I know everyone chooses Waterloo and while waterloo is a fruk theme, I think Voulez vous works too) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwcgMVXuBJc

4 - London beat - I've been thinking about you - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixBryyQSrD8

5 - Santana - Smooth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Whgn_iE5uc

6 - George Michael - Careless whisper - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ

7 - Robbie Williams - Feel - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy4mXZN1Zzk

8 - Michael Buble - Feeling good - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edwsf-8F3sI

9 - Edith Piaf - La vie en rose - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFzViYkZAz4

10 - Chopin - Marriage d'amour (Spring waltz) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFJ7kDva7JE

11 - Vanessa Carlton - A thousand miles - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERw2LuU6Jj8

[cautious-creation]

A goat and a labrador -Spiderman/Peter Parker (Tom Holland)

Fandom & Character: Marvel (MCU) CA:CW era; Spiderman/Peter Parker (Tom Holland), 1st person gender neutral y/n. Mentioned: Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau), Iron Man/Tony Stark (RDJ), Flash Thompson (Tony Revolori)

Pairing(s): rom Spiderman/Peter Parker (Tom Holland) x 1st person gender neutral (I did it yay!) y/n

Word/page count: 5000ish words, 5ish pgs

CW/TW: fluff, low key threat of angst, swearing, non-sexual intimacy, thirsting, friends/colleagues to lovers

Summary: y/n helps (wrangles) Spiderman during his work trip to fight Captain America. A connection emerges between the odd pair.

Author’s note: Written when my country’s COVID-19 lockdown started and I’m still proud of it, so here it is. I think this ended up with a gender neutral y/n, I read and wrote it from a gal’s perspective so I struggled to pick up anything that would contradict it being gender neutral. If you, potential reader, spot anything, I’m open to comments, critiques and corrections (just be nice...I’m fragile).

He's hot. He's so fucking hot, and I want him.

Oh god that sounds awful. It kinda sucks that it's accurate.

You see, I met him during the Stark internship, the difference between us being that I actually was part of the Stark internship. How I of all people was accepted for the program still baffles me (I'm not exactly the type of genius you'd expect to be Tony Stark's protigé) but I'm definitely not complaining.

I suppose you could say I was shadowing Happy Hogan, it's not entirely accurate but a close enough approximation, that was the job I was given. I won't deny that I became a little concerned when, a couple months in, I was handed a fifty page non-disclosure contract with an impressive salary attached (impressive as far as first paycheques go) provided that I comply. I read it through, obviously, and had a lawyer clarify whatever I didn't understand, as one ought to, and signed up for one of the more exciting things I'd ever agreed to.

The rumour was that Stark himself was needing someone a little younger than Happy to be on this assignment (no offence intended to Tony Stark’s head of security). I was quite flattered to later find out that Happy had put my name forward. Apparently I was more responsible, respectful and difficult to be persuaded than the other candidates. Not to boast, but I think I remember the word ‘promising’ being used too. I wouldn't necessarily describe myself that way but it did get me the job.

Everything seemed to be on a "need to know" basis at first. I think they were trying to make sure I wasn't going to be stupid about this assignment, considering how important it was. They probably realised it wouldn't be a problem when I kept reminding them about the contract I signed every time they tried to emphasise the secrecy of the whole thing, they gave up eventually.

One day I was told to pack for a week-long businesses-y trip, then taken to Queens in a car with tinted windows. That was when I first met him; Peter Parker. To be honest: of all the things I'd thought this secret assignment would entail, I never expected to be tasked with being Spiderman's nanny (Happy actually described it like that once).

He was such a genuinely pure and sweet person. I soon realised how realistic a cover the Stark internship was for him (he fit the criteria perfectly). During the whole Berlin business, he was kind of just a happy Labrador that I had to try to keep focused on what he was supposed to be doing.

It was so heartwarming to see how excited he was to have the chance to make a difference, even if neither of us were entirely sure what his role was in the whole thing.

He and I shared a room throughout the trip, mainly so I could make sure he didn't do anything too stupid. Secretly, I think it was so that Happy didn't have to deal with him as much, he and Peter butted heads a lot.

Sometimes Peter would just lay awake staring at the ceiling. He'd say he was too excited to sleep but I quickly realised that he was also anxious, he didn't want to let Mr Stark down. I don't blame him (I didn’t want to disappoint Mr Stark either, I mean, he is my boss’s boss). On those nights, I'd slip into the bed, beside him, and tell him to just talk; no particular topic, no expectations, just talk.

Initially it was a bit odd (I won't deny that I had to be super aware of my behaviour and what I said to make things as non-awkward as possible) he couldn't quite figure out what to say. When I'd notice him becoming uncomfortable with a silence I'd start talking, just to fill the air until he was okay with talking again and I'd just listen.

He soon really realised that he could talk about literally anything, whatever popped into his head, trivial or not, and I would listen. Gradually, he became less uncomfortable with pausing, awkward silence just became silence. And gradually I became more comfortable.. or actually.. comforted... by his presence.

He rarely spoke about anything particularly heavy or emotional, which he seemed to initially think I'd expected him to (I didn't). Yet we both knew that he was communicating all of it, everything that was, and previously had been, bothering him. Everything that he didn't want to admit aloud was painful.

And I would listen to all of it. I would hear everything, even the things he didn't say, the things that words couldn't have communicated anyway.

At times, there were tears involved, admittedly, not only from him. I didn't make a fuss of it, as he learned to do too. The lights were always off anyway. Which, at times, I was quite grateful for, considering the entranced, somewhat longing stares I began to give him. I'd come to truly know him.

Those talks quite clearly helped him to fall asleep. As he became more comfortable with the concept he'd fall asleep sooner. He'd start talking slower, with more pauses, yawns would start to punctuate his sentences and slowly he'd drift off. Once he was asleep, I'd slide back into my bed and, myself, fall asleep, faster than usual.

One night, after a rather tearful conversation about our childhood memories, I started to leave Peter's bed to return to my own when I heard him sleepily murmur for me not to go. I was frozen still, wondering if it was just a wishful dream I had heard, until I felt his hand reach for mine.

"Are you sure?"

"Stay," He paused ",if you want." I held his hand as I climbed back under the covers.

"Good night, Peter." He responded by intertwining his fingers with mine and rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand.

That one gesture made my whole body catch alight, I was blushing all over. My breath had caught in my throat and my heart rate was boosted up by 20 beats per minute within seconds (I checked my fit-bit the next day).

I hoped to hell and back that Peter was too far asleep to have noticed anything, or at least enough so that he wouldn't realise what had happened. And if he did, it was unlikely he would remember by morning.

Perhaps I'd have preferred if he did remember.

I helped film some of the vlog he was making of the whole Berlin experience. I couldn't help but grin at his antics in front of the camera while trying to keep him quiet enough to not disturb Happy next door.

There were times that Peter and I were stuck in our room for hours at a time. I had to figure out ways to keep him busy, otherwise he'd go wandering off to who knows where - like I said, he's a Labrador. We did both have homework to get done, but with our combined talents for science and languages it took hardly any time at all, so when conversation started to get boring, I had to get creative.

At one point we were playing 2 truths 1 lie star wars vs star trek edition (and here I thought he was a Trekkie like me). We spent at least an hour showing each other our favourite cat and doge memes. (Yeah, I'm that type of fun nanny, woke to all the fresh memes).

We were clearly getting desperate when one of us suggested ‘spin the bottle’, of course, we agreed that it would be somewhat pointless with only two people.

Then, when Mr Stark took him off to the airport, I was … well.. I was scared shitless for Peter. Happy had set up what was essentially a viewing room in the hotel where Stark's entourage could watch the fight from whatever cameras they could access and any news channels reporting on it. I sat there, terrified. If I were a nail biter, my fingertips would have been bleeding when I walked out of that room.

When I first saw Peter after that, I so badly wanted to run to him, wrap myself around him and kiss him until we'd both be gasping for air. I almost did. I actively had to remind myself: this was my job, I was working, my boss and my boss's boss were right there, caring this much about Peter was not part of the job description, in fact it would have probably threatened my position had anyone found out.

To see him back at the hotel, safe and with that Labrador excitement, was a relief to say the least. Peter's enthusiasm as he told me all about his experience consoled me beyond belief.

It was on the day he came back that I became truly screwed. We'd done quite well until then to time our showers so that the person had the room to get finished and dressed. But after the battle, Peter needed an "unscheduled" shower before any wounds could be addressed. And this is where things went wrong. Of course, I wasn't thinking as I sat down on my bed, tablet in hand, to do some admin work I'd been given.

No longer than five minutes into my work, did Peter walk out of the bathroom brushing his teeth, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. That action in itself wasn't exactly problematic, we'd become comfortable enough with each other that it wouldn’t’ve been, an issue. I glanced up giving him a little smile, you know, to acknowledge his presence. Thankfully it was only after looking back down at the tablet that I really realised exactly what I'd seen.

Before then I'd only kinda seen the muscle definition on his arms, and hadn't given it much thought. But now.. here he was. In glistening glory. The build of his shoulders, the definition of his biceps, his pecs, his abs, the peaks of his hip bones and that curve travelling down...fuck.

My eyes stuck to the tablet that my hands began to tighten around. Just one glance, I'd only had one fucking glance and this is what I'd been reduced to? A flustered, objectifying mess. It felt like my lungs had stopped breathing. I didn't even know what my heartbeat was doing. "Don't make this a big deal." I mentally instructed myself. "I cannot make this a big deal. If I do I'll be destroying all of the work I've done to help him feel comfortable."

Out of my peripheral vision I saw him turn his back to me to get some clothes out of his suitcase that sat on a shelf in the cupboard.

I had to look, I had to witness this. I stole another swift glance. Shit. That muscle, supple skin. Flawlessly defined. The movement created as he shoved stuff around his bag. The tensing and contracting. Fuck. My skin went red hot. I sat very still, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. The muscles over my belly tensed of their own volition. "Wtf was that reaction?" I took a deep breath, trying to pass it off as a sigh.

"I'll be out of your hair in a moment."

"Huh?" I looked up, a little too quickly, Peter was still rummaging through his bag.

"Idiot me forgot to bring clothes when I went to shower." The sweet amusement in his voice was a relief, he hadn't picked up what I'd just experienced on the other side of the room.

"That's okay. I'd prefer you don't go roaming the hotel half naked." It was a surprisingly smooth response considering how flustered I was.

"Agreed." He answered laughingly, "One sec." He headed back to the bathroom, clothes in hand.

"No rush." I heard the door close behind him.

My whole upper body relaxed as I released half a breath I didn't realise I was holding in. The tablet ended up shmushed against my forehead, easing my compulsion to bang my head against a wall...almost.

Like I said, I'd become well and truly screwed.

My glances had been too quick to notice any bruises or cuts left on his body after his battle with, and against, the Avengers. Which I would later have to notice while patching him up and assessing and reporting any injuries severe enough to need attention from a medical professional. I'm not sure why that was my job. Maybe Happy figured Peter would be more comfortable with me.

It's odd to think that all of this happened (and that I’d formed such an affection, connection and attraction for Peter Parker) within a week, at most.

The flight home was quiet. I think Peter and I were both quite tired from the whole experience; and, I’d like to think, he was also considering the fact that he and I were likely not to see much of each other anymore, at least for a while. I know I was. The atmosphere was...peaceful. Some conversation could be heard from the staff at the front of the plane but was obscured by the constant hum of the engines. Neither of us slept much, but we weren't trying to anyway. On the whole, it was a pleasant flight, despite how long we were in the air for.

I’d been tasked with writing a report on what had happened in Berlin, which I finished far quicker than I’d expected to. I tried a few times to watch this movie or that, I couldn’t even make it through a whole episode of some of my favourite shows.

So, much of my time was spent on my sketchbook. I take a stylus with me everywhere I go so I can draw on my tablet, but I also try to keep a small sketchbook with sturdy white paper for whatever doodles, sketches and even full art pieces that come to mind.

I ended up making little sketches of Peter’s profile from my angle to the side of him. I’d try to capture the little hints of frustration that would cross his face when working on some of his school work, the joy that would sparkle when he came across a particularly cute doggo on his insta feed, or the contentment in his aimless stare out of the window. 

I’d make detailed anatomical studies of his forearm, wrist and hand as it held up his chin, his fingers as he leafed through a trashy magazine he’d found somewhere onboard, the creases in his lips as he unconsciously bit it or stuck his tongue out slightly while addressing a particularly challenging equation or calculation in his homework, his hair when it fell forward against his forehead while he was looking down at whatever he was busy with. 

They weren’t particularly good sketches, the proportions were off and I couldn’t quite get the detailing to show his muscle definition. I suppose I was just trying to document everything about this person who I’d so quickly become genuinely enthralled by. If we wouldn’t be seeing each other again, perhaps ever, I wanted to be able to remember exactly what he’d made me feel.

Often, opening my sketchbook is just a means to kill time, scrawling down meandering patterns, odd shapes and lines for me to fill in like a colouring page. I’d been doing just that when Peter woke up from a nap and took interest in what I was busy with.

“What’re you doing over there?” his face tilted into amused bewilderment. I looked up at him, smiling, I went back to my drawing. He took the cue and slipped across the aisle to sit by me.

“Patterns.” he asserted after assessing the pencil sketch in front of him. My smile widened in amusement and I replied with a small nod, not looking up from my work.

“Planning to add any colour?”

“That’s why I draw ‘em.” I softly answered, excited that he was showing interest. Reaching into my bag, I gripped a black fine liner in my dominant hand and handed him a set of colour markers with the other.

“I outline, you colour?” I suggested, finally looking up and engaging his tenderly affectionate gaze. An enthusiastic smile responded.

I hadn’t known that he and I would be spending a night at Avengers tower (or I suppose it’s returned to being Stark tower) to ensure we were ”well enough to get back to normal life without any complications”. Which was really just a way to mildly intimidate us, make sure we wouldn’t say anything about the true nature of our “Stark internship field trip”. An important purpose of that night was having Peter’s remaining injuries treated with all the fancy medical equipment at the tower and making sure that we got our sleep cycles back to New York time.

We were assigned an area allocated for visiting associates of the Avengers, which had an impressively innovative floor plan. It wasn’t big, but it was comfortably liveable. It was all open plan, the living area had a kitchenette, dining table and a few couches. The three bedrooms each contained a queen sized bed (it’s Tony Stark, would you expect anything less?) and there was only moderate sized cupboard space (I guess that was a way for Stark to prevent his guests from staying too long). There was one bathroom, but that was really all that the occupants of that room would need.

We both kept ourselves busy during daylight hours so we could sleep more easily that night. The high strung tension of the mission was over. Things between Peter and I felt more casual, still professional but I felt like there was less pressure for me to ensure that Peter was accounted for at all times and at his best. We could both just breathe.

“I’ve been so busy, all day, but I don’t feel like sleeping.” Peter told me during our dinner. I couldn’t let his bedtime become too late, that would just worsen his jet lag, but I decided it wouldn’t hurt to let him stay up a little longer; I’m not an unreasonable nanny.

“Same. Mustn’t push it too late though. We could watch an episode of something, but I think a movie would be too long.” both of us had finished eating so I began clearing the table to put the dishes in the sink.

“Cool. I think I saw some microwave popcorn earlier.”

“Oh yay! I’ll sort that out, can you set up on the TV?”

When I sat down on the couch, holding the popcorn, Peter sat next to me, closer than I’d expected. Which wasn’t a bad thing, there was just more pressure for me to not screw anything up. The cover poster on the screen showed William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and Deforest Kelly in Starfleet uniform.

“Star Trek? You planning to become a traitor to the Jedi?” I raised an accusing eyebrow at him.

“Never.” he smiled, “Just wanna know why you like it so much.” my heart fluttered.

“In that case,” I handed him the popcorn in exchange for the remote, “we can’t just start from the beginning. I’ll have to find an episode that truly represents the franchise. I might even have to look at Captain Picard, or Sisko, oh but Janeway is fantastic. Maybe you should start at the beginning with Jonothan Archer.”

A little way into an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise (forgive me, Trekkies, I’m just a sucker for early 2000′s wardrobe choices), Peter stretched and put his arm over the back of my shoulders, and I felt my skin warming. I worked up the courage and during a scene with Trip and T'Pol I sighed and shifted so that my head rested on Peter’s shoulder. I had to actively make sure that I was breathing normally so Peter wouldn’t notice my messed up heart rate.

“Flox is cool.”

“Yeah, I love Flox.”

“Love him? I can’t imagine what your boyfriend must look like.” I couldn’t tell how sincere he was being.

“Ha, what boyfriend, and if that’s what you think of Denobulans I can’t wait for you to see a Cardassian, or the Klingons.”

“Kardshian?”

“Cardassian.”

“What’s the difference?”

“They’re just as sly and passive aggressive but Cardassians do not have the looks to market a makeup line, or get any views on a sex tape.” I felt Peter’s laugh against me, he squeezed me close for a moment and rested his head on top of mine. I took the chance to reach up and push the hair out of his face. My fingertips grazing his skin made my tummy tense weirdly again.

I was in bed later that evening when there was a soft knock at my door.

“Hey, you awake?”

“Yeah.” I yawned and rolled onto my back to see Peter in the doorway.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Yeah.” he shuffled his feet nervously, “could we...talk?”

I started getting out of bed, “Sure.”my voice sounded sleepier than I felt.

Peter must have noticed me scrunching up my face in response to the bright light beyond my door because he took my hand to guide me into his room. We climbed into either side of his bed. Peter pulled me to his chest. There was a moment before he asked,

“Is this okay?” I nodded against his chest,

“Yeah, unexpected but not unwelcome.” my mutters were muffled slightly by his shirt and I placed my arm over his waist. For a while the only sound between us was our steady breaths and slow heart beats.

“Thank you.” he must have felt my eyebrows furrowing against his skin because he continued,

“For this, for helping me keep a steady head, for listening to me, I don’t know, for just...being my goat.”

“You mean like for... stressed out racehorses?”

“Yeah, you’ve been my goat.” 

I smiled, “That’s possibly the greatest review you could’ve given my work.”

He shook his head slightly, “Not just work, just... in general. You’re a beautiful person,” I felt myself tearing up, my heart swelled, “,you’ve got a beautiful soul.”

“I’m crap at taking compliments,” I justified the tears now dropping onto his shirt. “, thank you.” I beamed. I wrapped my arm further around his waist, hugging him, he pulled me closer to him and rubbed my back in return. We both fell fast asleep quickly after that.

That was probably the last opportunity I’d have to tell him how I’d come to feel about him, even if I wasn’t so sure myself how I felt.

My Stark internship continued. Peter continued his work as New York’s friendly neighbourhood Spiderman. Our jobs didn’t cross over much, especially because of Happy’s irritation towards Mr Parker. I missed him. I’d see the videos of Spidey out in the city, helping the elderly cross the street, catching petty thieves, giving tourists directions, thwipping across the city from high rise to high rise. I wanted to see him again.

One morning Happy sent me off to bring Peter to Stark tower. Apparently he had been spamming Happy’s phone ever since Berlin. I don’t know why I, as the person assigned to Spiderman, wasn’t the one getting those messages instead, but I guess a more direct line to Stark would be more reliable.

“Good morning, Miss. I need to borrow Peter Parker for a couple of hours.”

“And who exactly are you?”

“I’m here on behalf of Happy Hogan,” I turned to look at Peter, “about the Stark internship.” concerned, he darted out of his chair.

“Is something wrong?” he started packing away his books.

“I can’t say, but we do need you.”

“Wait, Peter is actually part of the Stark internship?” Flash gawked.

“Yes.” Did this ass doubt Peter’s eligibility? “He’s one of our best people.”

“So, is Peter actually friends with Spiderman?” Flash gained back enough composure to smirk, thinking he’d found an opportunity to humiliate his classmate.

“Well, he came by while Peter and I were working one day. He’s such a cool guy, a genuinely good person.” a slight smile crossed Peter’s face at the compliment.

“Ha! I knew you weren’t friends with him!”

“Dude, none of us in the program are technically allowed to know anything about Mr Stark’s superhero shenanigans, including Spiderman. So Parker and I shouldn’t even have met him.”

“And I don’t remember ever saying I was friends with him.”

“We need to get going, Pete.”

“Right,” he swung his bag over his shoulder, giving one last look to his classmates, “see you later.”

“Parker! Page 180 and..”

“I’ll make sure he’s up to date with all his work, Miss. Good day everyone.” I closed the classroom door behind Peter and I. I never would have pulled a power move like that if I didn’t have Stark’s name to back me up. It was fun.

Peter jogged to catch up with me down the hallway after taking a moment to stare at the door.

“So what are we working with here? Aliens? Mutant criminals? The mob?” such a Labrador. I laughed.

“Peter, I’ve been told to bring you to Stark tower, I don’t know anything more than that.” we fell in stride, navigating to the exit.

“It’s good to see you again.” he may have been making conversation, but I knew it was sincere.

“I’ve been kicking myself for forgetting to ask for your number.” I smiled. That was pretty smooth of me.

“Same, I’ve really been wanting to talk to my goat.”

“Ok, that may have been flattering about a month ago, but it will not become my nickname. Understood?” I shot him a pointed look, having to suppress the butterflies when I looked into his kind eyes.

“My kid?”

“Better. But: no.” he grinned, looking at his shoes.

“Really should’a gotten your number.” he uttered.

“Agreed.” I nodded, an involuntary smile stuck to my face.

The sounds of the traffic beyond the car window was oddly comforting. I could tell that Peter still had his conversation with Mr Stark running through his head. It would have been faster for us to walk, but I wasn’t going to just tell Stark’s driver to turn around halfway through his trip into Queens and leave us wandering the pavements. Besides, at this point, I’d make use of any time I could spend with Peter. Shit, that sounds so needy. 

Based on what Stark had said, he wouldn’t be calling on Spiderman much any time soon, which meant I’d probably have to go back to shadowing Happy full time. I’d really hoped that today’s meeting would be the start of...something, anything that would make Spiderman more closely associated with whatever Stark was doing. Peter was more than capable of taking on more.

“You’ve been doing good work, you know?”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been keeping tabs on any online mentions of the Spiderman, and I’ve been seeing some really good stuff.” he gave a small smile.

“New York’s damn lucky to have you.” he looked at me. I could tell he was doubting his value, particularly to Stark.

“’A cool guy, a genuinely good person.’ Was that about Spiderman or Peter Parker?”

“They’re both you, Peter. And even if Stark isn’t giving you big, high stakes missions, it’s not because you couldn’t handle it. You can kick ass when you need to. Trust me, I’ve seen every video there is to be seen online.” his dorky grin spread a warmth across my chest. 

He locked eyes with me. Usually I wouldn’t be able to hold such a gaze, I’d give a smile and look away, hiding a blush. But this time I didn’t, I couldn’t. He had me pinned, telling me everything. Everything. I smiled, my gaze softened even further. I placed my hand against his cheek affectionately.

“You got this shit, Pete. Someday you’ll save the whole fucking world.” I don’t think I’d ever sounded so kind and encouraging while swearing before. I started to take my hand back, but he moved to gently hold my arm where it was. Our eyes were locked. Nothing around us registered in our brains, only each other and the conversation our minds were trying to have, the emotions we were trying to show each other. It was intimate, I wished it were more than platonic. If it were I’d have been leaning toward him to connect our lips. 

He nuzzled his face into my touch, padding his thumb over the back of my hand like he had the first time we’d shared a bed in Berlin. I could feel him unclenching his jaw. He slowly closed his eyes in comfort then looked up at me from behind his lashes. I shouldn’t have glanced down to his lips, he definitely noticed, even if he didn’t react. ‘Thank you’. He didn’t need to say it, I could feel it all, everything. He gave a contented sigh and pulled me next to him, against his chest, the arm laying across my back held my hand, the other wrapped around my waist, his fingers gently moving against my skin, my free hand lay against his chest, moving my fingers similarly along his chest, collar bones and neck, our foreheads rested against one another, our eyes closed, savouring this moment. 

He’s so fucking hot. It was platonic, I could tell, so could he. I couldn’t afford to do anything to fuck this up. But oh how badly I wanted to. He was so close. I could feel his breath against my skin, his heart beating against my palm. His hand against my back set my skin alight,

“Fuck.” I murmured. Peter opened his eyes to look at me with a beautifully innocent concern etched onto his face. A small, sad smile darted across my lips, 

“I want this, Pete.” I looked down and then back into his eyes. “And the internship won’t be giving me anymore opportunities to have it for a while.”

Instead of responding, a pained expression crossed his face, he kissed my forehead, then rested his forehead back against it. His eyes were closed as he pressed a sweet kiss against the corner of my lips. He wanted to kiss me, I could feel it. He held back out of respect, because of how he cared about me. A slow smile dragged along his skin as I gave a kiss along his beautifully sculpted jaw.

“I want this too.” we wrapped our arms around each other.

“I think...I need this.” I smiled against his sculpted shoulder.

“I want you to be more than my goat.” I shook my head, my smile turning to amusement.

“Such a gentle soul, Peter. You know what else works in your favour?” I looked up  at him,

“You’re fucking hot.” he threw his head back and I joined him in laughing. Shit. He really is just so fucking hot.

[doyelikehaggis]

Oh my gosh think about Lizzie being sad around the school post ep and bumping into Kaleb and they bond and he cheers her up

Hi!! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get to this. For context, this was about episode 6! (I think...) BUT I WROTE A THING FOR IT!! I'll put it below a "read more"! Thank you for this idea, anon, I love it so much!! (I'm actually tempted to write a little more for it...) 🧡

Lizzie lets the smile slide from her face only when she hears MG close his door behind her. Each step away feels heavier and heavier, and she has no idea where she’s even going. Back to her room seems to be the only option she has left now, but she also really doesn’t want to be reminded that Josie has left her by seeing her side of the room with all of her stuff. 

MG doesn’t want to spend time with her. She can’t exactly blame him; did she really just expect him to be sitting there waiting for her to finally be ready for him? Of course he said no. And Hope has a new friend. One who actually makes her smile and laugh. Lizzie honestly doesn’t think she’s ever seen her so happy before. 

She takes the stairs instead, walking into the kitchen. After all, she never got her ice cream. She finds the two bowls surprisingly still there, the ice cream perfectly intact thanks to the freezing spell she placed over them. Maybe she had been hoping that MG would take her up on her offer for just a late-night talk and she could suggest ice cream, and it would be there waiting for them already. 

Now she has two bowls and only one of her. With how she’s feeling, that’s probably better. 

Grabbing a spoon from the drawer, she siphons the spell back off of one of the bowls and hops up on the counter. Then she digs in with a desolate sigh. 

“I don’t know what’s more depressing,” a voice says from the doorway, and Lizzie looks over at Kaleb, standing there and eyeing her with pity, “the fact that you’re eating ice cream alone when there’s another bowl, or the fact that you’re doing it in the kitchen, in silence, at…” he checks his watch and raises his eyebrows, “... a quarter to midnight.”

Lizzie lowers her bowl into her lap with a shrug, swallows the lump of ice cream, and shrugs, saying bleakley, “Both. You just summed up my life, so.”

Kaleb’s eyebrows hike up higher and he sucks in air through his teeth. “Yeesh. That bad?”

He walks past her to get to the fridge, presumably for a late-night blood bag. 

Lizzie scoffs and stabs her ice cream with her spoon. Then she sighs again and says, “No, it’s just… this school is a mess. We only just have enough students to even qualify as a school! We’re probably in god knows how much debt at this point, which, I kinda thought would be enough for my mom to come back and fix, you know? After all, she is headmistress, yet somehow she’s just fine letting my dad make mess after mess of this place, and—”

“And you miss Josie.”

Kaleb closes the fridge, blood-bag in hand. He sends Lizzie a small smile when she looks over at him, and she deflates, because…

“Yeah,” she breathes out as Kaleb joins her at the counter, but leans against it instead. “I really, really miss her. And I hate myself for it, because she’s probably so happy there, and this is what she wants, and she has spent years doing what I want, so… I should be able to support her on this. Shouldn’t I?”

Kaleb shrugs one shoulder. “Yeah, you should,” he says, but to her surprise he continues, “but it makes sense that you’re gonna miss her like crazy. You two have never been apart. Like… ever. So, yeah, it’s gonna suck that she’s not here, and you’re allowed to be sad about it. So long as you accept that she's gonna do it anyway."

Lizzie stares at him. She wants to be glaring — she probably would have if this was a year ago, and she’d probably throw some snarky remark at him to cover up the fact that he’s right and she’s in denial. But she can only mush her ice cream sadly because she’s not in denial anymore and nod, looking down at her lap.

“I just…” She forces out a chuckle, closing her eyes. “Ugh, and I’m doing it again!”

“Doing what?” Kaleb asks, his brow crumpling. 

“Using people as my own therapists! I did it to MG for, like, two years, and now he’s pushing me away because of it. I did it to Josie our entire lives and she left. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why my dad prefers Hope over me, or why my mom won’t even return to the freaking country! And I’m still doing it to you! Oh my god.” She waves a hand at him. “You should go before I need to start paying you. Seriously, please.”

But Kaleb laughs. Not in a cruel, ridiculing way, but in a confused and slightly exasperated way. He doesn’t leave. Instead, he sets his blood bag down on the counter.

“You’re not using me,” he tells her. “Trust me, if I didn’t want to listen, I would’ve been out of here in a second.”

Lizzie just presses her lips together and gives a doubtful hum. It’s not fair that she keeps doing this. She just starts unloading without thinking, and people stick around because they feel bad for her. 

“Hey, we all need to vent sometimes,” Kaleb says, adopting a gentler tone when he realizes she doesn’t believe him. He gives her leg a little nudge with his elbow. “I got rejected today, if it’s any consolation, so I could use some free therapy time, too.”

Lizzie can’t help looking back over at him at that, but does at least try and put up a fight against her surprise. She fails. “Really? You were rejected? I mean, I understand MG rejecting me, but who the hell rejected you? Oh god, don’t tell me you tried with Alyssa again, I have had enough of that witch.”

It’s Kaleb’s turn for surprise but he does nothing to try and hide it. “Hold up. Rewind. MG rejected you? MG? My boy, MG, who spent all last summer talkin’ about you?”

“No need to rub it in,” Lizzie says bitterly, but there’s a small smile twitching the corners of her lips. “But come on. Fair’s fair. I’ll only tell you about my embarrassing rejection if you tell me yours.”

“So, you’ll show me yours if I show you mine?” Kaleb teases, cracking a grin. 

Lizzie rolls her eyes even as a laugh escapes her. She flicks her wrist; a drawer across the room opens and a spoon comes zooming out into her hand, the drawer closing back over. 

“Grab a spoon and take a seat, Mr. Hawkins,” she says with mock-seriousness. 

He laughs and shakes his head at her like she’s crazy — but in the good way. The kind of crazy that makes people smile so much they can’t stop until their face hurts. The kind of crazy that they want to be around because it’s fun and a little contagious and feels sorta like safety in a weird way. And the thought that he could feel any of that around her makes her feel a little less of the bad kind of crazy. 

Accepting the spoon from her, Kaleb hops up one of the stools, his leg brushing hers every time he moves. She doesn’t mind, just pushes the second bowl of ice cream across the counter and siphons the freezing spell off of it. 

“Go ahead,” she says, waving a hand at him, before digging back into her ice cream. 

“Cleo,” Kaleb says. 

Lizzie’s eyebrows raise and she hums around her mouthful of ice cream. She isn’t shocked. It was pretty obvious he had a thing for her the second he offered to try and get her to enroll at the school. And it was pretty obvious by the way she looked at him that her decision to stay was not going to be because of him.

“Maybe she just needs some time,” Lizzie suggests, shrugging. “After all, she only just got here. It’s gonna take some time to get used to this place. Maybe once she gets to know you?”

“Maybe,” Kaleb agrees, though he doesn’t sound too bothered. 

Lizzie frowns. “Or not? Do you not like her?”

“Nah, of course I like her,” Kaleb says, rolling his eyes, mushing his ice cream. Lizzie notices that he’s doing that thing where you make it smoother by mixing it a bit, the same way she does. “I just… it’s like you said. I don’t really know her, so it’s not… that big of a deal? She’s cute, and she’s interesting, and I could definitely catch some real feelings if she was into it, too. But at the same time, I’d rather just… get to know her.”

Nodding, Lizzie shrugs again. “That’s not a bad thing.” She pauses, narrowing her eyes jokingly. “So, technically you didn’t really get rejected. I should be taking that ice cream back.”

Kaleb pulls his bowl away from her with a look of offence. “How dare you try and take away my ice cream privileges. I am heartbroken!”

Lizzie arches an eyebrow. She just smiles and doesn’t argue as Kaleb smiles back, finally eating some of the ice cream. As soon as he does, he stops, making a face. 

“What — what is this?” he asks, a note of disgust in his voice. “Is this… peanut butter?”

“It’s Netflix & Chill’d!” Lizzie says. Then, when Kaleb just continues to stare in confusion, “Ben and Jerry’s? Peanut butter, pretzels, and brownie?” 

Kaleb just tilts his head and she scoffs.

“Have you never had Ben and Jerry’s before?!” she asks in disbelief. 

“Yeah! But it was, like… chocolate! You know, the one with the little chocolate fish? And, uh — the cookie dough one! You know, normal flavours. Good flavours.”

Wrinkling her nose, Lizzie says, “You qualify Phish Food as a good flavour?”

Now he’s staring at her like she’s the two-heads kind of crazy. It’s still not bad, she notes quietly, and warmly. It’s actually taking a lot of her self-control not to grin. 

“It’s chocolate and marshmallow!” Kaleb says. “How can you hate that?!”

“How can you hate peanut butter, pretzels, and brownies?” she counters. 

“Because that is way too salty!” 

“Oh, sorry, would you like a little more iron with that?”

They both pause. And then Kaleb starts laughing, and it’s like the first domino has been gently pushed as Lizzie starts laughing, too. Arguing over superior ice cream flavours at midnight is definitely better than eating them alone. 

Despite his complaints, Kaleb still loads his spoon with more ice cream and eats it as if giving it another go will change his opinion. Lizzie watches him curiously. His nose wrinkles again and she presses her lips together to hold back another laugh — a giggle — because seeing him trying to act like it tastes good is actually kind of adorable. 

He swallows and shakes his head. “Mhm. Nope.”

“There’s cookie dough in the freezer,” Lizzie tells him, putting him out of his misery. “It was Jo’s favourite as well, she always made Dad buy in at least two tubs in case of emergencies.”

“An ice cream emergency?” Kaleb questions.

Lizzie gestures around them, then at her own bowl. 

Kaleb nods. “Enough said.” He points at the second bowl as he gets up to move over to the freezer. “What about that?”

“Considering my day, two bowls seems fair,” Lizzie tells him. 

She dumps the contents of the second one into her own as Kaleb gives another chuckle. He retrieves the tub of cookie dough ice cream from the freezer and returns. When he takes a spoonful of it, his nose doesn’t wrinkle, and he gives a contented sigh and smiles, nodding to himself. 

“Now that,” he points his spoon at the tub, “that is good ice cream.”

“Honestly, you have no taste,” Lizzie jokes. “In anything except fashion. That, at least, I can respect.”

“I could say the same for you,” Kaleb quips. He glances up at her from beneath his eyelashes and maybe her heart gives a little flutter as a sly smile twists across his lips. 

She narrows her eyes, hiding it. Except he can hear it. But that doesn’t matter, she tells herself, because it’s nothing anyway. Probably brain freeze getting to her. Just… in her chest, instead.

“Agree to disagree,” she says. 

“Fine by me.” Kaleb then nods at her expectantly. “Right. Come on. Your turn.”

Catching on, Lizzie groans. “Oh no, I can’t. It’s humiliating!”

Even as she says it, she’s laughing again as Kaleb persists, trying to pull it out of her. In the end, it actually works, and she spills the whole nightmare to him. He listens. He laughs, of course, but only when she does, and he… doesn’t leave. 

Lizzie finishes both bowls of ice cream and Kaleb gets through his entire tub, then finally gets around to his blood bag as they keep talking. It’s well past midnight — maybe even past one in the morning, she can’t be sure — but neither of them even thinks about leaving. After the day they’ve had — hell, the weeks they’ve had — this was exactly what they both needed. 

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Kevin//you know i'll never be lonely, you're my only one

Request: Hi can I request a platonic Kevin/Jones!reader where Jug'a sister is best friends with Kevin and is with the core 4 when they find him alone at the Farm and she brings him home with her and there's hugging and hot chocolate and cuddling? Please? My boy needs love!

hey! i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again...kevin keller deserves the world! anyway, i hope you enjoy! also, the title is from a queen song (you’re my best friend) if you’re wondering! i absolutely love this song, and i recommend you listen to it if you’re sad (which i hope you’re not). also, to the anon (and anyone else who needs it) who was sad last night, i don’t know if this is something you’re going to read, but if you do, i hope it cheers you up!  

When the sun rose over Riverdale, bringing with it a new day as well as a second chance, you thought it was the end of your troubles. 

A night of being hunted down with your friends and brother through the dark woods had eventually ended. And as you hugged the people you thought you’d die with, you knew you don’t think you’d ever be as happy to see Cheryl Blossom ever again.

However, just as day was bringing a new dawn, effectively solving all your problems, across town they were just starting for your best friend. 

You just didn’t know yet. 

Its only when Betty pulls away from your group hug, frantically asking about her mom do you realize that maybe not everything is okay. Because despite the fact that the five of you are safe, it doesn’t mean everybody else is. 

And at the top of that very long list is Kevin Keller. 

Betty is first through the chapel door, but you’re not far behind her and as soon as you run in, you come to an abrupt halt. If it weren’t so depressing, the scene in front of you would have been breathtaking. The candles flickering, the clothes neatly folded and the general atmosphere reminds you of something from an old film. 

But as soon as you see Kevin sat on the floor, legs pulled up to his chest and a completely broken look on his face, the allusions shatters...along with your heart.

“Kevin?” Betty asks and his head lifts slightly. 

“They left me.” Your expression softens at the tone in his voice and you swear you can actually feel your heart cracking. 

Kevin has been your best friend for years, he’s stuck with you despite the obvious divide between the two of you. Him being from the Northside with a sheriff dad, and you being from the southside with a gang member dad, its far to say there were a few people who disapproved of your friendship. Not that either of you cared, you were best friends...platonic soulmates...who cares what anybody else thinks. And even though the two of you had grown apart over the past few months (specifically when the farm came to town), you always managed to find your way back to each other. 

So seeing him like this physically hurts you. He’s already been through so much and right now you want to scream and shout at the universe for treating the kindest and by far the best human like utter crap. 

“I wanted to go, but they said that someone had to stay behind to explain what happened.” He sobs and the seven of you exchange looks. 

“What did happen?” Archie asks. 

“The worthy ascended, of course.” He scoffs. 

“Who did? Where’s my mom? And Polly?” Betty asks and you roll your eyes at her. 

Despite her being sweet and kind the majority of the time, she did sometimes get a little wrapped up in herself and her issues, and right now, that annoys you. Because here Kevin is, abandoned by this group that brainwashed and alienated him, only for Betty to care more about two grown adults who can usually make their own decisions. 

“Gone.” He states, anger in his voice as he stares vacantly in front of him. “Everyone is. And we’ll never see them again.” The room suddenly feels colder all of sudden, Betty lets out a small cry as she practically falls into Jughead’s arms, while the rest of you stand around, none of you wanting to move...just in case. 

You’re the first one to do anything. You make your way towards Kevin and cautiously sit beside him. 

“Are you okay?” You ask. You’ve asked him that countless of times, but this is the first time its ever felt like you’re asking a stranger. You may be sat beside him but you feel a thousand miles apart. Usually you’re attached at the hip, but there’s a rather large space between you, physically as well as metaphorically and it just feels wrong. 

“I-” He cuts himself off before he can say anything further. Instead he just cries, his head drops to his hands and you’ve never seen somebody look so lonely, despite being surrounded by people. 

You don’t say anything in return, you just wrap your arms around him and pull him into a tight hug. 

The two of you stay like that for at least half an hour. Eventually everybody else goes, Jughead being the last one to leave, sending you a small smile before closing the door behind him, until its just the two of you again. 

It takes some persuading, but eventually you get Kevin back to your house. Thankfully your dad has already left for work so there’s no awkward questions about why you’re covered in mud and why Kevin is crying. 

“Here.” You hand him a mug. Its his favourite one. Something you got him to keep at your house. A small smile twitches at the corner of his lips as he takes it, but it disappears as quickly as it came, instead leaving behind a miserable expression. 

You remember the last time you gave him hot chocolate in that mug, but the memory does nothing to make you feel better. If anything it just makes your heart ache more. 

“You always make the best hot chocolate.” He’d said, an eager smile on his lips as he watched you slowly bring it to him. 

“I always put double the recommended powder in.” 

“Ahhh, so now I know you secret recipe.” 

“Plus, the cream and sprinkles help a lot too.” 

“Yeah.” He agreed. “Very true. But we can just pretend its all you.” 

“Aww, thanks.” 

“Hey. If there’s ever a day that your hot chocolate doesn’t make me smile, just assume that I’m dead inside.” 

“You’re so dramatic.” You’d rolled your eyes at him, and he’d gasped loudly, feigning offence.

“I know. But its part of my charm.” 

“Keep telling yourself that.” 

“It is.” 

“Has that ever actually worked on anybody.” 

“Not yet...but it will.” 

His eyes had been so full of hope, now they were just dark. Like all the light had been sucked out of them. 

The house is quiet, but its nice. Compared to the eery quiet of the woods and the farm, its quite comforting and you’re very glad to be back home, especially after thinking you wouldn’t be so lucky. 

“Thanks.” He replies, taking a sip before placing it on the coffee table. If you’re being honest, its nice having Kevin here. Its something else to focus on instead of being stuck in a continuous loop of your memories of the previous nights. Although you’d much rather prefer he was upset over some boy thats broken his heart. 

“Do you want another blanket?” You offer, rearranging the one you’ve already draped across his shoulders. “Or the TV? I can put a film or something on? Or we can just see what’s on? Or music? Do you want anything to eat?” You know you’re fussing over him, and you know he’s going to hate it. But there’s nothing else you can do. You can’t go back and change everything, no matter how hard you try. 

A part of you feels like its your fault. Kevin is supposed to be you’re best friends, but you still let him get caught up in all of this. You let the farm take him, you made him feel alone. You made him feel the need to find friendship and family somewhere else, somewhere dangerous. 

And by the time you realized what was happening, it was too late. Despite the numerous attempts. It was too late to help him.

Now he’s sat on your couch, clutching an old blanket around him like his life depends on it, and you really don’t know if he’s ever going to fully recover from this. 

“Why do things like this keep happening to me? Am I cursed? Do you think I’m cursed?” He breaks the silence. Maybe he know’s exactly what you were just thinking. Or maybe he’s just thinking out loud, but either way it makes you frown and quickly face him. 

“Kevin. You’re not cursed.” You grab his hand and he forces himself to look at you. 

“It sure feels like I am.” 

“The only thing that is cursed, is Riverdale. But we’re not going to be here forever. We’ve got one year left at school, and then we’re out of here. We’re going to do all of the things we’ve had planned since we were little. Our road trips across the country. Our apartment together thats filled with trinkets and utter junk that we’ve picked up over the years. We’re going to meet so many new, normal people and we’re going to shock them with our shared trauma. You’re going to meet a nice boy who treats you like you created the universe. You’re going to be so happy, I just know it. And one day this is all going to feel like a far away nightmare. Riverdale and all of its horrors will just be distant memory, something you laugh about from time to time. Okay?” You hold your pinkie out towards him and he sends you a look. “I promise. And I never break a promise.” 

“That is very true.” He nods, wrapping his finger around yours. “Y/n?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’ve been so alone the past few months.” 

“I know.” You smile sadly at him, wiping a few tears from your cheeks. “But I’m always going to be here for you, no matter what happens. You’re my best friend and I love you so much. You brighten my day just by walking through a door, and no matter how much I dread doing something, you make it 1000 times more bearable.”

“Y/n.” His expression mirrors yours. Sadness mixed with hope, and more than a few tears, but you know what he’s trying to say. 

“No matter how alone you feel, you’re not, okay? You are never ever alone. No matter what day of the week, or what time, or even how far apart we are. I’m always going to be here.”

“I love you.” 

“I know you do.” You nudge him softly. A slight smile appears on his lips, and even though its not the same as his usual, its better than nothing, and so you take that as a win. Your head falls to his shoulder and he rests his on top of yours, both of you finally feeling somewhat at peace after months of hell. 

“What the hell happened to you?” He asks suddenly and you pull away from him. He’s looking you up and down, a concerned expression on his face while he waits for your answer. “Why do you look like...that?” 

“I was hunted through the woods by Penelope Blossom and a bunch of other psychos.” You shrug and his eyes widen. 

“Wha-” 

“But thats not important right now.” You shake your head. “What’s important, is that you’re safe. And we’re going to need re-fills soon.” You look towards the mugs on the table. Neither of them are anywhere close to being empty, but you just want to change the subject and thankfully Kevin gets it. “I think we both deserve extra sprinkles this time.” 

[themarvellouswriter]

MOB! SEBASTIAN x TALL! READER

PART V OF THE MASTERPIECE SERIES 

Warnings: Nothing, slight swearing (and family drama?) Word Count: 1.9k Genres: Angst and light fluff. Family drama Notes: We meet the famous Winchesters and the Halins. And like, TJ Hammond is so cute? Like baby? Protect? Yes sir. Yum sir. Also, I’ve made a VERY subtle SPN reference, so if you find it, do share and I’ll give you a shout out!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake up with a smile. Despite not having known Sebastian very long, you were completely enamored by him and his charming personality. You felt him shift beside you. He’d insisted on keeping you company in your room till he’d eventually drifted off and you didn’t have the heart to wake him. You watch his chest rise and fall with each breath. You push his soft hair away from his face. “You should take a picture if you like my face so much,” he said, opening an eye to look at you. You gave him a sly smile. “Maybe I would’ve if someone hadn’t lost my phone.” Sebastian’s face turned pink as he bit his lip. You cooed at him, pushing him out of bed. “We have a meeting with my family. We need to prepare,” you said, getting out of bed. He pouts but then it melts into a coy smile. “Meeting the parents so fast? Someone is eager.” You roll your eyes good - naturedly.  “When you get kidnapped and have a bounty on your head, things do move along rather quickly, don’t they?” He stands up and stretches, revealing a very nice expanse of his abs. Your gaze flickers down, he notices and smirks. “Like what you see?” “Oh yeah, definitely. I could stare at you all day but,” you say with a shrug. “Family matters. Pun intended.” He gives your cheek a chaste kiss which leaves your knees weak and face hot. Simple gestures of affection were much more exhilarating than passionate ones in the heat of the moment. He’s gone by the time you recover and you mentally chide yourself for being so vulnerable around him all the time. You get ready for the day and go downstairs to wait for Sebastian.

You’re dressed in a pair of jeans and an oversized sweater with your favourite heeled boots. Sebastian comes down a few moments later wearing a maroon Henley that makes you sob inwardly at how good he looks. His hair are slightly damp and curling at the ends. He sees you waiting for him and gives you the softest smile that’s ever been directed towards you. [A/N: You know what I’m talking about.] ‘He is about as dangerous as a newborn kitten.’ Suddenly you realise that you’re  towering over him and you inwardly kick yourself for wearing heels. ‘Stupid Y/N, you’re supposed to look small and cute, not like an obnoxious noodle.’ Sebastian is quick to notice the quick shift in your mood. “What’s wrong?” You sigh and say, “It’s the stupid heels I’m wearing. I hate towering over people. Especially people that I like.” He grins. “I like that you’re taller than me. Its incredibly sexy.” He moves closer and closer with each word. “Very, very hot.” He tilts his head to kiss you, catching you by surprise.

“Do you actually like it? Or are you just saying that to pacify me? It wouldn’t be the first time, you know. It’s happened before.” You’re pouting now but you also want to know if your height is a turn on for him. “Trust me. I like you just the way you are. Heels and all,” he whispers, kissing your nose. You scrunch up your face at his actions. “Sap.” “Call me what you want but I never lie.” Despite his reassurances, you’re still slightly self conscious. Noticing your hesitation, he sighs and pulls you in for a bruising kiss that leaves you gasping for air. His hands are tightly gripping your hips, pressing you against him. His tongue is in your mouth and you swoon. He’s an amazing kisser, and seeing him being so passionate about ridding you of your insecurities makes you feel special. One of his hands moves lower to grip your bum and the sudden squeeze has you yelping in his arms. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, embarrassed. He laughs softly and rubs the nape of your neck. “Convinced?” He asks. You let out a muffled ‘yes’ and pull away.

Your face feels warm as you follow him outside and leave his place for the second time in two days. “Am I still kidnapped now that you know who my parents are?” “Only if you want to be,” he grins. “You’re such a courteous kidnapper. Imagine not being kidnapped and going on dates. Magic,” your tone is teasing and his smile widens. “Oh?” “Oh yeah, first date. You torturing a guy and me finding out that I’m on someone’s hit list. Second date in the middle of the night finding out that my entire family is made up of gangsters. Third date, confronting said family about keeping secrets about being gangsters. Isn’t this fun?” “You’re taking this surprisingly well. How?” You shrug. “I honestly have no clue. I’m just trying to survive one day after the other. No point in worrying about something you have no control over.” He looks at you. “What?” “You’re amazing. You’re the most interesting woman I’ve ever met. You’re something different, special. Really special.”

You shyly look away as your house comes into view. You see Sofia leaning against her car parked outside. You get out as Sebastian parks into the driveway. “Hey, Sofia. What’re you doing here?” She looks up and waves as you walk towards her. “Your mum called. She told me to get ready for a family dinner? I mean, we already have the rehearsal dinner tomorrow. Why can’t this wait till then?” You purse your lips. “I found out something about them and now I wanna have nice chat with them. That’s it.” She shrugs. “She wanted me to be with you, so here I am.” She looks over your shoulder. “And you’re with him. Pretty boy Sebastian.” You roll your eyes. “If you’re here. You might as well help prepare for dinner!” Sebastian walks up and greets Sofia, cordially. The three of you go inside and begin preparations.

By the time five o’clock rolls around, everything is ready and Sebastian has changed into a formal suit. This one is steel grey, perfectly complimenting his eyes and you can’t stop staring, as he finishes laying the table. Watching his muscles flex and the cloth stretch along his back. Sofia notices and forces you into wearing a dress. You pout but go along with it, especially when Sofia whispers how Sebastian is unable to keep his eyes off of you. As soon as the clock strikes five, the doorbell rings. You suck in a breath and open the door. You meet the rest of your family’s eyes and quietly let them. You dad enters first followed by your mother, then your oldest brother Dean and his husband Castiel. Sam’s eyes are large and pleading as his fiancée Jessica drags him inside. She shoots you a sad smile and takes her place at the table. There is an older, sharply dressed woman behind them. Sebastian gasps as he sees her. “Mother?” She gives him a frosty smile as she walks  past you and settles down next to your father. “When I said family meeting, I kind of meant my family. No offence,” you murmur against Sebastian’s ear. “None taken. I’m as surprised to see her here as you are,” he whispers back and you both exchange a look. Everyone is settled at the table. You father at the head, with Mrs. Stan and you mother at his sides. Sebastian next to his mother and you next to him and Sofia next to you. Next to your mother is Dean who gives you a subtle reassuring wink, Castiel who looks more interested in the food than the people around him. Sam and Jessica at the end with the latter right next to Sofia. In the back of your mind you vaguely realised that this was the first time your dining table had been properly used.

You swallow and start to speak but your father beats you to it. “Y/N. Be a dear, let’s eat first and then talk.” You nod and begin serving. The meal is tense and it feels like everyone is on edge. Except Castiel who looks virtually unbothered by what’s happening around him. When everyone is nearly finished, your father looks at you. “That was lovely. Thank you.” The rest of the table mutters their agreement. “Now, to more pressing matters.” You feel Sebastian envelope your hand in his and give it a squeeze under the table. You felt warmth flood through you and you met your father’s eyes. “Yes, it is true that we’re the Winchester crime family. And yes, Sam and Dean knew. And all of us decided to keep it from you so that you could you do whatever you want without being associated with us. And this is why Georgeta is here.” He shoots his wife a look. “Look Y/N. Just because we didn’t tell you about this, doesn’t mean that we love you any less. Sam and Dean put up quite a fight when we told them of our decision to not include you. But we all decided it was for the best. To keep you safe and out of trouble.” You bit your lower lip, chewing it between your teeth. “So, everything was a lie? Like you own a pharmaceutical company? And that Dean and Cass are involved with supplying the government with arms? And that Sam is a professor?” “Not everything. The best lies are based on truths,” interjected Dean. “Cass and I supply arms to everyone with the means to pay for them. Sam’s our bookie. Jess is the best defence lawyer in the country. Mum owns many, many pharmaceuticals and dad manages everything.” He looks at you sympathetically. “We just want you safe. Getting involved in this is rough. And none of us want that for you. Plausible deniability in case things ever go sideways.” You swallow and sit up straighter. “If I hadn’t found out, would you ever have told me?” “No.” Its Sam who answers. “Absolutely not. Its too dangerous.” You grit your teeth. “Just for me? Nobody else? Nobody else is prone to doing crazy shit? Nobody else is in danger? How do you think I would feel if something happened to anyone of you? Would I not be devastated?” Your voice is shrill and you feel angry tears prickling your eyes. “You think by keeping me out of the loop you’re keeping me safe but you’re doing the exact opposite! I would never be on my guard because I would never know who my enemies are! I can protect myself, I don’t need any babysitter to keep me safe.” A tear makes its way down your cheek and you feel slightly smug as you notice your family’s rueful expressions.

“Well, this was a lovely meal. But I think we have other things to talk about,” came a heavily accented yet light voice from Sebastian’s mother. “Mama,” mutters Sebastian warningly. “Oh hush Sebastian. We know that little Y/N here more upset by the fact that this was kept a secret rather than  the secret itself.” She looks at you, her mouth curling up into a smile. “Isn’t that right, little one?” You slowly clench and unclench your hands. “Yes it is. I had a right to know.” “And I agree! Secrets between families can tear it apart. This is why I have a proposal for you all. I say that Sebastian and Y/N get married.” The table then exploded into a cacophony indignant noises.

[flowerpowell]

Unexpected (Drake x MC)

PART FIVE

A/N: Another chapter within two/three days? Who is she? I reallyyy hope I can update this series frequently but life’s kinda busy so we’ll see how I’ll do. I hope you’ll enjoy it! Feedback is always very appreciated! Characters belong to Pixelberry.

Rating: PG

Word count: 1811

Tagging: @gardeningourmet​ @delightfullypinkglitter​ @hopefulmoonobject​ @akrenich​ @blackcatkita​ @cora-nova @client-327​ @desiree---1986​ @jlpplays1​ @dcbbw​ @kingliam2019​ @the-soot-sprite​ @mskaneko​ @thequeenofcronuts​ @dr-ethanjramsey​ @missameliep​ @maxattack-powell​ @badchoicesposts​ @mymandrake​ @butindeed​ @burnsoslow​ @annekebbphotography​ @alesana45​ @addictedtodrakefanfic​ @walkerduchess​ @ao719​ @texaskitten30​ @lodberg​ @cordonianroyalty​ @emichelle​ @siriusxxvideos​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ @samihatuli​ @choices-lurker​ @i-miss-trr​ @of-course-went-to-hartfeld @nikkis1983​ @innerpostmentality​ @msjr0119​ @bascmve01​ @mind-reader1​ @edgiestwinter​ @drakesensworld​ @queenjilian​ @princessleac1​ @saivilo​ ♥

“Ummm,” Riley hesitated, “could you repeat the name of that drink again because I don’t think I heard it right?”

“I didn’t ask for a drink, I asked you to marry me,” Drake repeated slightly embarrassed he had to ask her again.

“Right. Okay, bye,” she turned and started walking away. Drake grabbed her arm and lead her to a table in the back of the bar.

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?”

“I did and I decided to ignore it. It’s clearly a joke,” she shrugged.

Oh boy, this is embarrassing. I hate Liam.

“It’s not, listen--”

“Drake, listen,” she took his hand and he frowned. “I hate to break it to you, but I kinda hate you. I don’t know if you’re saying this because of a stupid bet you made or because you are drunk but I will never marry you, okay?”

Drake took his hand from her and rolled his eyes.

“Jeez, I’m not asking you to marry me for real! I don’t even like you. I am forced to do it.”

“You’re forced to marry me? Are you drunk? Because if you are, I am not serving you any whiskey tonight.”

“I am not!” he sighed. “Let me explain, ‘kay?”

“Yeah?”

“My sister and her husband went missing some time ago and they’re cosidered to be dead.”

“I’ve heard about that and I’m really sorry. I met them once and they seemed to be great people,” Riley smiled at him reassuringly, still confused what his point was.

“Now Bartie, their son, needs someone to take care of him. I had a deal with Bartie’s grandfather that we would take care of him in turns but he just filed for a full custody. He is an awful man and I can’t let him take Bartie, especially that his new wife is a witch. So I need to win the custody case somehow,” he finished and looked at Riley. She seemed unimpressed.

“Umm, okay. Good luck! Go for it? I still don’t understand why you asked me to marry you?”

“Because it’s gonna be nearly impossible to win the case when I’m unmarried.”

“Ohh, I get it now. Ugh, that sucks,” Riley nodded and patted him on the back.

“So... what do you say?”

“Well, I am very sorry for you, like, very sorry, but no way. I’m not marrying a guy I hate, no offence. I wish you all the best but I’m not doing that.”

“This is going to be a fake marriage! Liam, the King, will annul it a few weeks later, I promise! It’s just so I can take Bartie. This is what my sister would want. Trust me, it’s far from an ideal situation for me too.”

“Listen, I’m sorry but no. Find someone else who can pretend to be your wife but that’s not gonna be me.” Riley stood up, ready to end the conversation when Drake spoke again.

“Why are you here?”

She turned to him, confused. “Hmm?”

“Why are you here, in Cordonia? I saw your CV, you’re from the U.S., you have a college degree, you  had a job, what are you doing here, working in a bar in a small European country?”

“I don’t see how’s that any of your business?” Riley answered calmly but Drake could see she tensed.

“It is, it’s my bar after all,” he raised an eyebrow and she sat back down.

“Change of plans,” she shrugged, “there’s no story. It’s just a dream I had and I decided to go for it.”

“Dream? To work in a Cordonian bar?”

“Well, no, I mean, kinda...”

“Well?” He asked and she sighed.

“I always wanted to have my own place. Restaurant, cafeteria, bar, whatever. My grandma was a great cook and she left me all her handwritten receipe books. I always dreamed of opening my place and serve everything she taught me. America is full of places like this so I wanted to try Europe and... that’s kind of how I found an American bar in Cordonia. It also helps that I’m far away from my overprotective parents,” she laughed but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“So you came here to take over my bar?”

“No! No!” her eyes widened, “I just wanted to gain more experience. Find out more about Cordonian cuisine. Find places without many restaurants,” she explained as Drake remained silent. He was thinking about something and Riley was chewing her lower lip wondering if she said something that would make Drake fire her. Finally, after a minute or two, he finally spoke.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” She was confused. Was he firing her or...?

“Okay. I’ll give you the bar, it’s gonna belong to you and you can do whatever you want with it if you agree to fake-marry me.”

Riley’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”

“You heard me. This bar for a few months of pretending we’re married.”

“You’re crazy,” she murmured. At that moment, all her dreams seemed more real than ever. She almost heard her grandma’s voice to take the chance. But was it worth it if she had to pretend to be in love with a man she hated so much? He was good looking, yes, but too annoying. Would she have to kiss him on their fake wedding ceremony? Ugh, she hoped no. Would they--

“You’re drooling,” Drake interrupted her thinking.

“I am not!” She said but instinctively wiped her mouth.

“So... what’s the verdict?”

She looked around the bar, a place that could be hers in just one word, all of her dreams coming true (after she would survive her nightmare) and she thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. She could always make his life so miserable that he would divorce her sooner. And if that wouldn’t work, she could always kill him, right?

“Well, Mr Walker, you got yourself a deal.”

~~~~

The wedding was scheduled for a week after their conversation. Drake said he would handle everything and they hadn’t seen each other since that day. The only people who knew that the marriage was going to be fake was Drake, Riley and Liam.

Maxwell got nearly a heart attack when he was informed about Drake’s wedding but he was happy for his friend. Olivia didn’t believe Drake was actually getting married and she tried to start a bet that Drake was only joking. Madeleine and Barthelemy were clearly not happy about it but they congratulated him and promised to come to the wedding. Drake noticed how Madeleine whispered something to Kiara, angrily gesticulating, and he was proud that he ruined her plan, whatever it was.

“It’s a bit strange, I’ve never seen you with her. In fact, it’s strange she’s not here with you today,” Madeleine smiled at him when she approached him with Kiara beside her.

“She’s not interested in being around Nobles. Besides, she’s getting ready for the wedding.”

“And, as I presume, moving, right?” she asked sweetly and Drake almost spit out his drink. He had completely forgotten they would have to live together.

“Yes, we’ll be living in my cabin. She loved it there ever since she first visited me, the day we met,” he answered not even having to lie too much.

“Hmpf,” was all Madeleine said before abruptly walking away, Kiara sending one last glare towards Drake.

He quickly pulled out his phone and messaged Riley, “I hope you’re all packed to move into my cabin. Don’t worry, the guest room is ready”

The answer came a few seconds later:

“I’m not moving to your dumpster. I’ll stay in the bar.”

Drake rolled his eyes as he typed, “Everything is clean and neatly organized just for you. Besides, that’s a part of our deal.”

He smiled at the reply that came five seconds later. “I hate you.”

~~~~

“Ugh,” Riley groaned, throwing her phone on the table. She forgot she’d have to actually live with Drake under one roof.

“Whoaa, someone’s in a bad mood! What happened?” the bartender asked but she just shook her head.

“Nothing. I need to pack my stuff, I’ll be moving out of our apartement tomorrow.”

“What? Why? Are you going back to America?”

“Worse,” she sighed, “I’m getting married.”

“Now, whaaat?!” her friend asked and she realized she never really told him anything.

“Yeah, to Drake. I’m sorry I forgot to mention it to--”

“Now HOLD UP. The last time we talked about him you hated him. I knew you were lying! I knew you liked him! I saw it in your eyes, I knew it!”

“Umm, yeah. I was totally lying,” I was totally not lying. I hate Drake even more now.

“Good catch, R! I’m sure your wedding day will be beautiful and your wedding night even better,” he winked at her and she felt sick.

“Please stop, I’m going to throw up.”

“No way!!!”

“What?” She was confused now.

“Now I get it! The wedding so soon, you feeling sick... You’re pregnant, oh my gosh!!!”

“No, please, no!!! I am not, listen--” her eyes widened in horror as her friend hugged her.

“It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone! I’m so happy for you, girl! I’ll help you with moving out, you probably shouldn’t be carrying these heavy boxes by yourself now.”

“Seriously, it’s not like that, I--”

“Josh!!!” The bartender called out seeing the manager walking out of his office. “Riley is getting married! And she has a little bun in the oven,” he added quietly as the manager’s eyes went wide.

“I was aware of your marriage to Drake but I had no idea you two were already expecting. My sincere congratulations, to both of you.”

“Wait, no, I am not pregnant!”

“It’s okay, you can still work here until you don’t feel like it anymore,” Josh patted her on the back and left the bar before Riley could say anything else.

“Why does no one believe me?” she asked but her friend was already behind the bar making a drink. A few minutes later she got a message from Drake.

“Why is your manager congratulating me on having a baby? Am I missing something?”

She sighed as she typed, “It’s a long story.”

“Anyway. The wedding’s tomorrow at 6. Don’t be late.”

She sighed again as she shoved her phone back to the bag.  She now wasn’t sure if she just made the biggest mistake of her life or not but it was too late to back out now.

The die was cast.

[excvlsior]

about: *leo fowler.

basics.

full name: leopold kristoff fowler meaning of name: leopold = ‘people’ & ‘bold’, kristoff = ‘bearing christ’ nickname: leo, tadpole by some family members age: 23 date of birth: november 12, 1996 hometown: tallahassee, florida nationality: american ethnicity: dutch gender: demiboy sexuality: pansexual spoken languages: dutch, english profession: in lovell he’s a part time student and works at fowler’s flowers, but just the latter in st. louis

appearance.

height: 6′2″ eye colour: blue hair colour: auburn??? i feel like that’s the version of if someone had strawberry blond hair bt . strawberry brown instead??? idk it’s reddy-brown voice: pretty deep, surprisingly smooth jst feel like he has the personality of someone with a rougher voice bt . alas...... obnoxiously thick southern accent tattoos: c’est la vie on his ribcage, kristoff on his hip, ‘x’ on the inside of his middle finger done in shitty stick and poke, ‘L’ done in stick and poke on the side of his wrist, heart with a knife through it on his chest, tattoo inside his lip that says ‘pussy master’* :pensive:, ‘ouch’ on the bottom of both soles of his feet*, a hand giving the middle finger on the back of his left calf, dolly parton’s signature on the top of his thigh from when he got it at one of her concerts, a smiley face on his ass* >_>, a melting popsicle on the back of his right bicep*, ghost face mask on his right shin; * = he did them on a dare LKHSDGKLHLSDG piercings: lobes, right cartilage, industrial bar in his left ear, nostril, had an eyebrow and lip piercing when he was younger clothing style: pretty dishevelled and purposely ill prepared outfits, sometimes u can catch him in just plaid and khakis but more often than not he’s in something weird, his prized possession is a leopard print shirt that has a heart in the center, steals clothes from his aunt and uncle when he has nothing clean/can’t bother finding anything, been seen in marj’s skirts and leggings bc of this, and then on the other hand he’ll wear like a lime green tank top with a monster baseball cap worn sideways his style is just carefree and eclectic

health.

physical ailments: n/a neurological conditions: bipolar i disorder allergies: n/a sleeping habits: pretty much only falls asleep between the hours of 3-5 am, doesn’t matter if he works the morning or afternoon shift....... if he doesn’t work at all he’ll just sleep until his body naturally wakes up which is also usually around 3-5 pm KLSDGLKHSDGLKHDG exercise habits: doesn’t exactly have one..... he’s a pretty active and energetic guy so he’s usually up and about doing whatever anyway, also rides his bike everywhere since marj and steve r usually out with the only car they have sociability: loves being around people but he’ll eventually grow cranky, doesn’t necessarily need to be alone but at least with a different group of people if he gets to this point, the only time he actively doesn’t really want to see people is when he’s having a depressive episode but those don’t last too long as is drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes

personality.

positive traits: adventurous, courageous, determined, funny, gregarious, independent, quick-witted, tough, versatile negative traits: belligerent, cantankerous, foolhardy, harsh, impulsive, parsimonious, sarcastic, tactless, unpredictable, vulgar goals/desires: lowkey he’d never admit it but he just kinda wants his parents’ approval in the end, and also maybe to find something better than supervisor at a flower store (no offence to marj and steve its just not his dream) fears: staying committed and missing out on different opportunities/people that could change his life, the fact that he probably can’t do any better than be a supervisor at a flower store tbh hobbies: drinking, drawing a bit tbh, thrifting, loves collecting random knick knacks and is personally loving buttons rn, harassing his friends<3, making stupid tiktoks that somehow have gotten him a kind of big following habits: swearing obnoxiously without caring, yells in dutch when he’s frustrated which he’s mostly picked up on cuz everyone else in his family does it, stares more than what is socially acceptable tbh, refuses to walk under ladders

favourites.

weather: sunny with some clouds colour: dark green music: likes a lot of 90s and early 2000s rap and rock, old school country like he loves dolly parton LKSDHGKLHSDGLK rly enjoys elvis presley too, some edm or anything that he can jst dance wildly to movies: old school slasher films, screams his fav movie series ever food: spaghetti bt specifically w marj’s Phenom homemade meat sauce<3 drink: grape juice, whiskey sour

relationships.

father: steven fowler is his uncle but currently his legal guardian, he’s a co-owner of fowler’s flowers and is kind of a mess but in like the fun way....... LKSHDGKLHSLDG he just spends a lot of the day in nothing but boxers and socks w their cat on his lap watching the weather report if he’s not working, has the weird energy of someone who would be running like a joke shop instead of being a florist. archibald fowler is leo’s biological dad but he sucks Big Time, giant business typhoon i hvnt . figured out 100% wht sort of business bt hes got Money bt doesnt even rly want anything to do w leo he jst sees him as a massive disappointment bc archie’s nothing but a loser fart of a square. mother: marjorie fowler’s his aunt and other legal guardian also the other co-owner of fowler’s flowers, literally the sweetest woman on the planet like she’s never done anything wrong in her life n u can take tht to the bank. she’s a bit weird n super spiritual, their house constantly smells like random herbs and rly intensely of flowers and plants bc she makes so many home remedies bt she’s an angel a fkin ANGEL!!!!! renata kline’s leo’s mom n she’s like . fine ig she was pretty negligent n her best friend is a bottle of wine....... she rly peaked at a young age when she was a pageant girl n she still coaches n stuff now bt she’s obvs rly sad so leo tries not to lose it on her too much even tho he thinks she’s annoying LKSHDGKLHSLDKGKLSDG siblings: augustus is his oldest brother and he’s pretty cool, probs the brother leo is closest with even tho he considers him boring bt it’s only bc he’s . actually responsible n wht not they had a lot of fun growing up together tho when leo visited new york. mikhael is the devil, he’s actually a bit of a cunt n both him n leo have expressed their hatred fr each other without missing a beat i think they actually dnt hv any love or affection fr the other in the slightest SKLDHGLKSDHG. vaughn n leo r closest in age he’s not tht much younger n he’s probs the shiest of them, pretty soft spoken n well meaning, him n leo dnt rly keep in contact too much anymore bt theres a special place in his heart fr vaughn he’s pretty protective even tho he bullies him a lot bt thts besides the point. willhelm’s the youngest n it kinda shows he’s pretty idgaf attitude n rly blunt bt he’s also funny n probs the biggest partier outside of leo so he gets a pass whenever he rolls his eyes in leo’s face. pets: mitzie’s an 8 year old tortoiseshell cat who lives primarily on ppls laps shes literally more lap dog than cat significant other: n/a family’s financial status: middle class

extra.

zodiac sign: scorpio<3 mbti: estp - the entrepeneur enneagram: the epicure temperament: sanguine hogwarts house: gryffindor moral alignment: chaotic neutral primary vice: pride primary virtue: dilligence element: fire

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰😂⚔️🐲 DMODT 77 final draft... I don't know anymore guys. I just don't

Levi had a horrible night's sleep. Cradled in Eren's arms, the omega watched over him. He watched for every twitch and whimper, every shift and growl, and every small cough, and every squeeze of his hand in search of reassurance. It wasn't Levi's fault that he was stuck with back to back nightmares. His also looking horribly guilty each time he jolted back to consciousness, though Eren had repeatedly assured him there was nothing to feel guilty over. Since waking, Eren had had some pretty extreme dreams of his own. Peppering kisses to Levi's hair, he wouldn't let his mate go through his nightmares alone. Not when Levi did the exact same thing for him when he suffered through nightmares of his own. Finding a few hours sleep of his own, Levi still looked pained when Eren woke. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but after feeding Viren he'd felt exhausted. Tucking his mate's hair back behind his ear, Levi nuzzled into his hand with a puffy breath "Eren?" "I didn't mean to wake you" "Mmm... you're here?" "Yeah. It was all just a bad dream" "Fucking worst" Ignoring the feeling like he had a felt forest growing in his mouth, Eren kissed Levi gently "Tell me about it?" "It's stupid" "It's not stupid to me. Never stupid to me" Groaning, Levi shuffled closer to him, burying his face against Eren's shoulder "You're too much" "Maybe. I still want to know what's on in those dreams" "Just... I was dreaming of you being gone. You grew sick of me and left" "Idiot. I'm not going anywhere" "You say that... but are we even still engage? Do you want to marry me?" Eren sighed softly "Levi. I do. Very much so. I took the rings off because I needed to think, and I've been with you since. I think it's kind of obvious I wish to marry you" "Sorry. Forget what I said... it was stupid" "I didn't mean to make you feel that way" "I know. God. What a shit night" "If you think last night was shit, yours going to love playing bait today" "Love is a strong word" "I love you" "It's too early for this shit" "I heard when you start getting grey hair..." Levi grabbed at his side, Eren's teasing cut off. He loved the few grey and white hairs just above Levi's ears. He was sure he'd caused each and every one of them "I will kick you out this bed if you don't start being nice to me" "I am being nice. I'm the nicest omega in this bed" "Nice omega's don't make fun of their fiancé's grey hair. Wait. I'm on to you. You want to be spanked. I'm not falling for your trap, Yeager. Now, it's time to get up" Huffing at Levi, neither of them moved. A spanking wasn't what he was aiming for. They really needed to stop fucking as it was... He really needed to stop thinking about Levi's thick dick filling him to breaking point, then flooding his womb with his seed. He needed to get back to being professional and playing at being a prince. Not the prince who was steering his husband astray because he was a lusty little slut "You can't say that. You don't even know what the time is" "Neither do you" "That's beside the point" "I think otherwise" "Who let you do the thinking?" "I don't know. They should be fired" "They should. Will you be alright today? In front of everyone?" "Eren, you're the one I should be asking that to" He'd rather go into labour in front of hundreds of people again, than stand in the room and play nice with someone who'd hurt Levi so deeply by having him attempt suicide "Probably not. But it has to be done. We don't have to hide anymore" "No. We can get out of this shitty room. Get you into a real bed. Resting properly. Don't think I can't feel how shit you feel" "I feel shit because some shitty arsehole upset my alpha. I really hope I get to punch them, something" All Eren wanted was to sleep in the sun again with his alpha in his arms, and to know his boys were safe and happy "Not before I do..." There was his Levi "Anyway, we really should get up. I'm going to need at least three cups of this countries shitty fucking pigs piss if they expect me to function today" "Or, you could let me make tea for you" "No offence, I don't feel like tasting all those different herbs of yours" "I'm completely offended. They're good for you" "That doesn't make it taste any better" "Then you can deal with your headaches and joint pain alone. Have fun standing up in court, keeping your attention, and not snapping at everyone with that headache you're currently nursing" Smacking him lightly, Levi growled "Mouthy brat" "Only because I'm right" "We'll see about that" * Eren was slightly smug in his rightness as he forced his love on Levi. Levi was doing better after a herbal tea than the alpha would admit. Being the smart omega he was, he'd mixed his herbs in after brewing the tea they were provided with until their taste had vanished, which meant the tea was super strong... how Levi usually liked his tea. His mate still looked wrecked. His eyes red from a lack of real sleep, scent all over the place and his temper... Despite Luca wanting to be with Steege, Levi was holding him so he'd be forced to keep his temper to himself as they waited. Eren had already stealthily acquired himself another promised from his mate in his distracted state "to spoil their son rotten once they got out of the hell hole they were in". A single blanket that Freya had had to clean and repair wasn't enough to make up for missing his birthday then the date they'd decided upon for Luca's true birthday. Eren wanted a true birthday for his baby boy. Back at the castle where Luca could traumatise Nicollo. Nicollo and Armin could fight over the cake. Luca could eat as much as he liked, and play until his heart was content. Kissing Levi's cheek, his alpha let out an exaggerated sigh "If you keep kissing me, we'll never make it into that courtroom" "Mmm. I want to make sure you know how much I love you" "By kissing me to death?" There wasn't else much he could do. He and Levi were waiting for everyone else to enter the courtroom before they did... still. Being closest to the door, Levi could at least peak in. For Eren, it was a whole lot of faceless voices and someone laughing "That fucker..." Levi couldn't mutter something like that, without elaborating. Pressing forward, Eren nearly squished Viren in the process. With how much he'd grown in the 11ish weeks since his birth, Eren felt much more confident holding him against his shoulder rather than cradling him all the time "What? What is it?" "Fucking Willy" "Why? What's he doing? Let me see" Swatting him away, Levi kept staring through the gap "Tell me" "Just... shush for a moment" "Levi?" "Fine. He's talking with Magath. Even fucking laughing. I thought the pair of them didn't get along" "I didn't think they got along either... not enough to laugh" "There's nothing to laugh at. I want to punch him in that fucking smarmy face of his" "Levi..." "I know. We have to play nice. Doesn't mean I don't want to" "I wouldn't mind getting a hit in either. His hair's obnoxious" Levi snorted at him "Don't tell me you want to be blond" "What? No. It's too fake. It must be pretty disgusting trying to wash all the product out of it" "Are we really standing here discussing his hair?" "Yes. You started it" "I'm pretty sure you started it" "Can we go in yet?" "No" Pressing another kiss to Levi's cheek, Levi sighed at him all over again "I'm warning you" "Then let me see" "I swear..." Levi didn't finish his sentence, the door he was peeking through pushed open by a court guard. Giving them both a stern glare, the man's voice was just as harsh as his gaze "It's time" The two small words seemed to send Eren's world spinning. He could tell instantly that the man disliked them, perhaps personally. He wanted to apologise to the stranger, despite not knowing what he'd be apologising for. Anything to get him to stop looking at them like they were scum stuck to his shoes. Tugging his hand, Eren didn't want to follow Levi into the courtroom he'd been so curious over. He wanted to bail out the closest window, and not look back. Instead, he was pulled along and into the galley by Levi. Marley's side of the room all staring at him in shock, but none so much as Dina. The woman paling dramatically as Eren found himself unable to look away "Prince Eren?! What... how? We were told you were killed. Thank Ymir and the water's of the nymphs that you weren't" Forcing his gaze up to Willy, Eren felt as if he'd been run through Obsydin's sword again. His hand flying to his stomach as phantom pain bloomed so hard it brought tears to his eyes. Out of all of them, he didn't understand why Willy had singled him out. Levi was also reported dead. The man was standing right beside him. To Willy's left, Magath appeared to have had a stroke. The man slumped heavily on his right side as he leaned on the galley rail "What is the meaning of this?" Feeling like his knees were about to give, Eren passed Viren to Mikasa so he rubbed at the scar Obsydin's sword had left. He knew the wound had healed, and he also knew he was letting personal dislike of Willy affect his mental stability, hence the phantom pain. Straightening, Eren sucked down a deep breath. The tribunal hadn't stepped in to explain that he was indeed alive "I am indeed alive. An attempt was made on my life, but as you can see, I am perfectly fine" Magath wasn't having it "How the hell does that happen?! Your accursed magic destroyed half the city!" "It's regrettable. Whoever made the attempt had no idea of the consequences of their actions. Let alone the rebound effects that such and event causes. Dragons are magical beings afterall" Eren took liberties with the word "rebound". A better word would have been "repercussions", but it didn't have the same squirm affect. Magath'a face reddening, while Willy's lips twitched. The action so small that all but a dragon or rider would have missed it. It was then that Eren realised he wasn't being paranoid. Willy did know something "How is he allowed to stand here!? He murdered innocent people!" "Prince Eren is not on trail. The effects of his magic were not due to deliberate or vengeful acts on his behalf" "That's beside the point! That monster should not be allowed to live!" Levi growled, while Eren shook. His fingers were burning, he wanted to jump the galley rail. He wanted to storm right over to Magath and Willy so he could punch them both in the face. While his omega had decided to whimper away to the back corner of his mind "Commander Magath, one more comment that like and you shall be removed from this court" "You have no right! Marley will never serve under a disgusting creature as yourself! Never! Murderer!" Eren knew his yelling was probably for the theatrics of it all. But that didn't mean that they words didn't begin to worm their way into his chest, and to his tightening lungs. As Levi went to place his hand on Eren's arm, Eren slapped it away "I never asked to be targeted. It is well known that I have made multiple attempts to abdicate the throne, and was asked not to until this trial has passed. It is also well known that Marley has been hesitant in upholding its agreement to inform me of relevant issues, that I should have been made aware of as your prince" "You're no prince of mine! You're just the whore that our Prince captured" "You will not talk of Zeke" "I will if I bloody well want to" "You didn't even know him. None of you did. You only knew the mask the man wore. The man conditioned to play the part every single one of you wanted him to play. Our marriage wasn't perfect, but that doesn't mean I didn't come to care for him. It also doesn't mean that I don't feel pain at what Marley is going through. The simple fact is, one of you tried to kill me, and now you are blaming the fallout on me, when I was bleeding to death at your spell. It hasn't escaped my attention that I was run through with a sword. The same method used by Yelena to kill my late husband, who died in my arms. I died in the arms of my mate. The man I was legally bonded to before marrying Zeke. Further more, I see the guilt in the eyes of the one responsible. I see from the look on Dina's face, that she and him were working together, because I can see how upset she is to find me alive. I should also mention that any further attacks will result in near identical incidents where I have no control over my magic, or who it kills" Eren's words hung heavily. Magath's mouth open as they sunk in. Willy shifted his weight, and Dina covered her face with her hands. At the tribunal table, the man sitting at the middle of the table rose to his feet "There will be no more talk of Prince Eren and the incident at the Rose Hotel. An active investigation is being carried out, with an arrest soon to be made. The next person to interrupt proceedings will be evicted, as Commander Magath is currently being" Magath protested as a court guard came forward and escorted him out. Despite the fuss, Willy's eyes lingered on Eren. He didn't need to look at the man to tell he was continuing to watch him. "What is it?" Still rubbing at his scar site, Eren didn't want Levi blowing up. Not when he was quietly simmering with pain and rage. Shaking his head, Eren moved a little closer to Mikasa and Viren, Levi catching his hand to pull him back up against him "Don't blow me off. I can feel you" "I'm..." "You're not to blame. The court ruled that you are not to blame. So ignore Willy. Ignore Magath" Levi hadn't noticed there was something wrong with Willy, didn't that mean he was simply being paranoid? No. He'd decided he wasn't paranoid. Willy knew something. He knew he wasn't imagining things. He wasn't paranoid. His instincts and body were telling him he was right "I don't want to think about that" "Then why... what's wrong?" Levi's command tugged at his tongue. His agreement to the command that made him want to blurt everything out, but what could Levi do? What could either of them do, when they were forced to stand across from Willy all damn day? Carefully, he chose his words "I'm confused as to why Willy is so happy to see me, when he was just joking with Magath. We can talk about it later. I want my baby back" Levi hummed, bouncing Luca up in his hold. Their son was getting too big for cuddles, at least size wise he was "Why don't you take Luca, while I take Viren? We knew it was going to be a long day, and we knew it was going to be awkward. But, they did say that they have someone in mind. Hopefully they'll arrest them, then both them and Dina will be receive the punishments they deserve" He knew Willy had an agenda of his own. He'd known that long before this month long trip to hell "Here, he's already trying to climb into your arms" Chirping, Luca stretched out nudge his face. Levi scratched in Luca's haste to be in his arms "What's the matter baby boy? Here, come here" Resting his nose against Eren's neck, Luca let out a soft huff "He's probably just as sick of all of this as we are" Eren nodded at Armin. They hadn't expected to be gone for so long. Everything in Eldia was being handled by correspondence, but Eren felt it was probably past time the prince returned to his kingdom. Armin had testified. He didn't need to be stuck here still... None of them did. He was sick to death of the courtroom. Of looking at Dina's face. Of Willy and his stupid blond hair. He was done. Nuzzling his neck, Luca could probably smell his anger. Hushing his boy softly, Eren scolded himself. He could fall apart, but not in front of his boys. Eren made it to the "lunch break", which was simply a five minutes break for them all to stretch before continuing with no time at all to eat, then he was done. He didn't know why they were right back to going through Dina's crimes. She was guilty as hell, and he was done. Brushing his alpha off, the omega strode out the front of the courthouse, too angry to care where he was going, only wanting to get the hell out of this charade. Willy was guilty. Each time he accidentally let his gaze slip the man's way, he felt sick with anger. Plunging out into the sunny streets, Eren walked without looking back, leaving his friends watching on in concern, and Levi hurrying after him with a crying Viren. * Trailing after Eren, he was easy enough to spot. Crowds parted at the omega carrying a baby dragon through their down. The shit for brains probably didn't see that everyday, an advantage for him. That he wasn't about to admit he needed because everyone in this goddamn country was so fucking tall. Unreasonably tall. And screw Eren for having such long legs. The only good place for those long legs were wrapped around his waist. God. He really shouldn't be thinking of pushing Eren down and fucking the every living daylights out of him, not while his mate was upset, and Viren seemed to be as happy as his mother. Eren finally came to a stop in the middle of the street he'd been walking down. His mate's form trembling as he simply stood there. Finally catching up to his lover, Eren didn't turn around, trusting Levi to be there as he leaned expectantly into him "Do you want to tell me what that was all about?" "I got mad" "I noticed. And now I want to know why" It was shameful that his legs hurt. The lack of exercise and recovery had left him worse off than he'd thought. Even with his improved alpha strengths. Eren didn't answer, but his pain and his silence spoke volumes "Please, Eren. I'm your mate. I want you to rely on me" "I do!" Yelling in the middle of the street, Eren seemed as if he'd taken himself by surprise. Shaking his head, he pulled back to face Levi "I do. I'm... I'm so over all of this. I can't stand being in the courtroom. I can't stand being locked underground. Our friends are still stuck here, while Eldia needs its ruling prince. Fucking Dina and Willy... they... I'm sick of people suffering because of them. I can feel the magic Levi. I can feel how badly the city was fucked up because of my magic. It still lingers in the air. I can feel the magic used by other dragons to fix my mistake. I'm over this. I hate being here. I hate being locked up. I hate knowing our friends are watching our every move. Armin's scared of you. Everyone's trying to hard when it comes to me. We keep fucking, but I still feel the hole that losing Obsydin caused. I don't know why we're still here. She's my mother-in-law. She's horrible and I don't know why the court hasn't ruled yet. But most of all. I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of crying, and feeling like I can't control my emotions. I'm scared of my own magic. I'm scared of myself and I hate it. Even when we go home, it's not going to be the same. The only place in the castle I really feel ok is in your quarters. I just... I don't belong anywhere anymore. When we came to Europe the first time, it was hard... but it... it was ok, you know. Because we could walk around. We didn't have to hide who we were. We didn't have to worry about people after either of us, or our son. It wasn't great all the time. But... I just want that back. I know what they're thinking. I know they all think I'm a whore... for ch-choosing the man I love... I hated you for leaving me. I hated you so badly I wanted to die. I didn't care what happened to me... so I married Zeke. And because I keep fucking everything up, we're stuck here. When do we get to be happy, Levi? When do we get to finally rest? When I'm in that room, I can't even think like myself. My mouth moves and I just... everything I do is wrong. Everything I say is wrong. I don't know how to fix any of this or how to make it right. I can't even remember how to be myself anymore. All I can think is that she's going to walk. Willy is going to walk. They're going to go back to Marley and they're going to wipe Eldia out, because I fucking exist... I can't fix it... I don't know what choose to make. I don't know how to live with these regrets, when I regret being alive..." This was the drop Levi had feared was coming. His omega was wearing such a sad smile that a hot lump of emotion grew stuck in Levi's throat. He knew sex wasn't a magical cure. Sex didn't equate to love, but now he was wondering if his love wasn't reaching Eren, for Eren to want to wish his own death. He'd fucking lost him. He'd bled out in his hold. Tears rushed to form in Levi's stinging eyes "Eren..." "Why can't I..." "Eren... I love you" Talking over each other, Eren's gaze dropped to Luca "I love you. I know this has been a shitfest. I want nothing more than to take you out of here, but I know you need to see this through..." "That's just it. I do, not everyone else..." "They're here because they want to be" "They're here because they think they need to be" "You're wrong. If you asked any of them, they'd say..." "They want to be here. For Armin and Mikasa it's to watch over me. Mikasa's squad because they're under her orders. Hanji and Moblit because you're here. Freya and Steege because I fucking ruined things with Draecia... I don't want them doing things because of me. They should be home. They should be living their own lives, not cleaning up my mess. Or sitting beside my besides because I'm a nut job. Waiting for me to break again, because my fucking soul is fucked up..." Reaching out, Levi pulled Eren into a tight one armed hug. Nuzzling his mate's hair, he pressed kisses to the spot "God. Why can't you see how much we love you? How much I love you. Willy and Dina won't get away with anything. None of the Marley party will..." He still wasn't sure what Willy's game was, but he wanted to punch the piece of shit in the face for upsetting his omega "Listen. I love you. I'm here with you, because I want to be with you. I want to spend every fucking day for the rest of our lives with you" "But I'm nothing. I have nothing. It takes money to live outside the castle. I don't have any skills. I can't make money. And I don't want to take you from the place you've known your whole life. I don't want to take you from your friends and family... I don't want to be that person. I don't want you to hate me... I just want you to be happy... that's all I want. You're always fixing me. Comforting me. Helping me. I don't do anything for you" "That's not true" "It is" "You stayed with me last night..." "Where else would I go? I have no one. I have nothing... you're... you're my whole fucking world and I can't even make you feel better" "You do. Having you. Holding you. Things might not be perfect all the time, but you make me happy. I always thought falling in love was complete and total horseshit. I laughed at those fucking idiot alphas, and saw omegas... as idiots for putting up with everything. I didn't get it. You. Viren. Luca. I... I don't have the words to tell you how much this family means to me. You gave me this family. You spent weeks looking for a way to break the master and omega bond, because I asked. You didn't have to. But you did, because you always put the people you care about first. I was a complete arsehole to you. I pushed you away. I pushed you into Zeke's attentions. I used you to entertain him, and you took it. You took it and you stepped up. You always do. If all the omegas in the world were like you, us alphas would be royally fucked" "I'm..." "Your world" Eren slumped against him "I feel so angry that I feel sick. Willy knows something. I fucking saw it on his face. I hate my eyes. I hate seeing too much. He reacted. He didn't think we were alive and he was happy over it. We know he's had some game, but... I think... I think he's to blame. I think he... Levi..." "I'm going to fucking kill him" The words slipped from Levi's mouth before he could remember that he'd actually killed people in front of Eren before, and it was still a taboo topic "I can't... Levi. I can't..." "You're right. I'm sorry. Let's find a room? Take a break from the courthouse for a while?" "They won't let us" "I don't care about them. I care about you" "But the others..." "Can jump. You're hurting and if I go back, I might just make real on that threat. It's not healthy for Viren to be underground so much. It's not healthy for anyone, and they're not winning any awards for those drains they call windows" "I don't feel very well" Yeah. Thanks the fucking start of another drop. Hopefully a change of setting would pull Eren back out of it before he was forced to suffer through another one with no fault of his own "I know. I've got you... Luca, can you walk?" "No... please don't make me put him down" It took some effort, some mental swearing, and some help on Luca's behalf to get Eren propped up at his side. Their son moving to curl around Eren's shoulders, so Eren could curl in on him. Keeping his face hidden, the omega sniffled softly from time to time, but managed to keep from crying as they backtracked towards the courthouse. It took some very careful manoeuvring to slip past the building without Eren noticing, in order to find an inn that was open for business and would take the four of them on the word that they were with the Eldia party. Eren's statement in the papers had helped prove their identity. The Foreign Prince with the White Dragon. Luca chirping happily when he was mentioned by the aged man behind the inn's counter. The place was much smaller than the hotel. Just two floors with 8 rooms in total, but it was what Levi needed it to be. Convenient, and run by a man who was quick to lose himself in his own chains of thought, so any questions he asked were forgotten before he was even done asking. Reassuring them he was happy to house a prince, they were given a key to a second level room. The place had seen better days, with its peeling wallpaper and creaking floors, but proved to be cobweb free and the room didn't smell of dust or mothballs like Levi had expected. Guiding Eren to the bed, he passed Viren to his mate as Luca climbed off Eren's shoulders. The next piece of business was opening the window and curtains to allow as much of that sunlight Eren loved in, as was possible. Sitting with his mate in his arms as he fed Viren, Eren was mostly out of it. His eyes firmly fixed on Viren's moving cheeks as he drank hungrily. Levi knew he was being a sap, but he adored the little pup so much. The son he didn't think he'd have biologically. He would have adopted if Eren hadn't fallen pregnant and still wished for another child. There was still time for them to follow that route anyway if he mate desired. He was the first to admit he wasn't a "children person", yet Eren had changed his mind about that too. Spending the next few hours resting, Levi felt physically ill over leaving Eren long enough to inform their friends they'd taken lodgings somewhere more agreeable. His mate hadn't wanted to nap, but the drop he was hovering on had the better of him at the moment. Pressing kisses to his loves chocolate locks, Levi had mumbled words of love as he tried to keep his lover from going over the edge. It seemed Eren's sleep was less than peaceful, the omega occasionally spasming as if a chill had run down his spine, despite the unexpectedly thick blankets covering his body, and the alpha's own body heat. God. He really didn't wish to wake him. Sliding his hand from Eren's hair Levi cupped his mate's cheek, pressing a light kiss to his mate's plump lips "Sweet Boy, you need to wake up for me" Kissing Eren again, the omega groaned at him "Eren, I promise you can go right back to sleep, but I need you to wake up for me for a moment" Nuzzling at him, Levi snorted at his fiancé. Eren had no idea how adorable he was when he was sleepy "I have to go let the others know that you're ok..." And retrieve their things. One nappy wasn't going to last long "Stay..." "I wish I could my Sweet Boy, but Viren needs his things. And that sister of yours is probably ready to start tearing the city apart looking for you" "Stay... with me" Yawning out the words, Eren hadn't even bothered opening his eyes. Rubbing his mate's facial scales with the pad of his thumb "Eren, I have to go. I need you awake enough to recognise that I've left and I'll be back" "... don't want you to go. Don't... want them to arrest you..." Who was... oh... Willy. His focus was on his family, not that slimy piece of fucking shit. Eren was afraid he'd attack Willy if he had the chance, which he would if he could "They won't arrest me. I won't even talk to him" Not unless Willy went out his way to talk to him first. Unfortunately he was so slippery, Levi doubted he could get the alpha to hit him first in public. Anything after that would be in self defence "I'll be back shortly. Luca, can you watch your mother for me? He needs his big brave boy to keep him safe until daddy comes back" Unfurling himself, Luca nodded puffing out his chest. Obviously proud that his father had asked him for such an important favour. Stroking Luca's head, he swore the dragon rolled his eyes at him for ruining how "cool" he looked right then "Sorry. Sorry. I know, but daddy loves you, and I trust you to look after your mother and your brother until I return" Eren clung to him right to the very edge of the bed. His omega kept repeating that he didn't want Levi "to be arrested" or "to leave". In such a vulnerable state, it took moving Viren closer to his fiancé to calm him enough for Levi to leave. The omega curling around Viren so he could nuzzle into the pup's wispy hair, leaving Levi sorely wishing he could capture the moment forever. His mate was a little dented, a little broken thanks to two blond haired shitstained, but he hadn't lose a single ounce of his love for his family. Forcing himself off the bed and out the room, Levi's alpha was fast to tell him to return to their omega, though Levi was sure that the near drop would pass given Eren no longer had to fear being left underground. Now he just needed to make sure the others understood that it wasn't personal. They all should understand, given what they'd been through. * Mikasa and Armin were both standing on the steps of the courthouse by the time Levi reached the building. He'd taken a slight wrong turn by turning a street too early, which he was quick to backtrack on. Walking towards the pair, Mikasa's hand went to where her blade would normally sit, a move not unnoticed. He knew she strongly disliked him for leaving Eren, but hadn't he shown he always had Eren's best interest in heart? Stopping short, he made the pair come down the steps to meet him. Mikasa's face set in a fierce scold as she looked down at him "What did you do to my brother?" "Mikasa! Sorry, Levi. She means, where is Eren? Why isn't he with you?" Armin may have reworded it, but the words seemed just as accusing "Eren nearly went into a drop in public. We've rented a room in an inn not too far from here. He's resting at the moment" "What did you do? He was fine this morning" "Me? I'm not the one who sent him into a fucking drop. I was the one who was there when he was. It was that slicked back, blond haired Marley tosser. He's been miserable shut below ground, unable to trust himself or his magic. He finally fucking broke, so if you want to start a fight..." Armin stepped slightly in front Mikasa as if to prevent said fight from breaking out right then and there "Is he ok? Should be alone right now?" "I don't think he's going to fall into the drop. But he does suspect that Willy is involved in his suicide attempt, so both of you will need to be careful what's said around him. I've only really come to pick up our things" "We'll come with you" "Come with me?" "To the inn. Eren needs his friends" If they did come, Levi wasn't sure they were going to like what Eren had to say... "I..." "Then its settled. I'm tired of the accomodation here too. I'm sure Freya and Steege will be in agreement. Plus Hanji and Moblit... Hanji takes so long in the bathroom, especially with Moblit" Levi never wanted to step foot in the sad excuse of a bathroom beneath the courthouse ever again. His lip sneering in disgust at the memory of walking in on them "We're coming with you. You can't just take Eren from us like this" "Mikasa... Levi didn't take Eren. He walked out. We all saw him walk out. I know you're all over the place since Eren nearly died, but taking it out on Levi isn't fair. It's Eren's choice, and Eren chose Levi" "He attacked him..." "He was feral from losing his mate. Eren understands that and it wasn't like he didn't go into heat due to the same thing. If Levi is with him, then that's what he wants" "He nearly died and now he's left us again! He keeps acting like he has to go this alone..." "Excuse me. Are a fucking idiot? Have you met your own brother? He leaves everyone behind because he's too fucking stubborn for our own good. He's rash. Reckless. Impulsive. Obsessed with finding peace and ending everyone's suffering. But he's also a grown adult. He's bonded. Engaged. Already has two children, and is part dragon. Yes. His death fucked all of us right up, but there is no fucking way I would have left him in that inn if I didn't think he was strong enough to look after the boys. His head is all over the place, but all he thinks about is how to make you all happy. He needs this. Our boys need this. And if a shitty room in some shitty inn is what it takes to make Eren happy and prevents his drop, then that's where we're staying after you..." Levi cut his sentence off with a shake of his head. Eren was the one who wanted to talk to them all over leaving. It wasn't his place to cause an even bigger scene "After what?" Crossing her arms, Mikasa didn't let it drop. Levi huffing a sigh as he waved it off "After all, you should both know what he's like" "See Mikasa. Levi is just trying to do what is right by Eren. If I was him, I wouldn't want to be locked up in a cell underground all over again. Why don't we go pack? It's better than standing in the street and fighting" "Fine. But if Eren's isn't ok, I'm going to punch you for leaving him" Why was he going to be hit? His alpha didn't appreciate the female alpha's protectiveness of Eren. She was lucky that Eren had made his feeling abundantly clear, that Levi shouldn't do anything that may prohibit his immediate return. Still. He couldn't guarantee how long he could keep his temper, especially if he ran into Willy now. The sooner they got out this shitfest, the better.

[writer-of-the-revolution]

Icarus Ch3 - Discovery

Hospitals suck. The first few weeks were all right, you know, being in pain in all, but at this point I think anyone would be stir crazy. The nightly trips to the gym and intermittent visits from Alex and co. became too little, far too soon for my liking. To make matters worse, I’m fine. Despite being given a near clean bill of health I’m still stuck here. The unwelcome truth is, the agency doesn’t know what to do with something like me. Can’t let the Angel of Death loose on the town.

My latest visit was one of the most surprising. I looked up from my daily staring into space i saw none other than the Mighty Captain Warshow. How sweet. Here I was thinking I was his least favorite agent.

“Boss!” I exclaim, oozing with excitement, “How’s it goin’?” He looks mildly uncomfortable under my cheerful smile,wringing his hands as he shuffles into the room. I continue, “So, when can I get out of this hell-hole? Nurses cleared me days ago! Even Alex says I’ve made a miraculous recovery, and she’s a mother hen.” He glances at the wings with thinly veiled disgust. How dare he.. “Don’t like what your assignment did to me?” He looks away.

“Agent Valerius, that's why I’m here. HQ has decided to board you in the compound until further arrangements are made. They will be prepared for your arrival by the end of the week.” Of course. Always and easy way out. Keep me on base and keep me secure, out of the public's vengeful eye. Those snakes.

After fulfilling the purpose of his visit, the burly man turns to leave and I let him reach the door before I call out, “When will I be cleared for duty?” He frowns and leaves without another word.

Alex was ecstatic when I told her the following afternoon. Being my primary visiter for duration of my stay in this hell-hole, she had heard enough of my frustrated ramblings to last a lifetime.

“You know what this means right?” She looked practically giddy with excitement. Her trademark tabled gripped tightly in her hands. “You can finally stop bothering me!”

“I take offence to that! I don't ‘bother’ you.” She looked at me disbelievingly before laughing. “Besides,” I roll my eyes, “I’m literally moving two building over.”

“It’s the thought that counts. Your own space and all.”

“Space regulated by B.O.A.”

“Well what do you want them to do? They can’t exactly send you off like you are. And I’m sure you’ll be out in the field before you know it!” Ouch.

I look away. The genius seemed to hit every nerve in one fell swoop. Managing to cover both my inability to ever live a normal life again, and my careers destined closure. My position had always seemed like the one thing I had. As a kid in a military family, always moving across the country, and never fitting in. Learning to blend in and evaluate people, a skill that later made him an asset in intel gathering. So much in fact, that even the higher ups were willing to deal with my recalcitrance. Kind of hard to fade into the crowd if the crown is running away screaming.

Alex, as painfully oblivious as she is realized her mistake swiftly. Torn between reaching out as comfort and not, her hand hovered between us unsure. With both of us reticent tension filled the atmosphere as thick as maple syrup. We looked away, each not meeting the others eyes.

The genius stood sharply and headed to the door. In her final glance back I caught her gaze. Pity. The quiet monster that seemed to follow my every step. A predator tracking its prey. Antagonising me. Look what you are. You will never be like us. You poor, poor thing. Eating me alive.

As Dr. Gray’s figure left the door, disappearing into shadowy confines of my thinly veiled prison cell. What she left unsaid lingered in the still air.

The next day crept by at an agonizingly slow pace like molasses flooding the streets. With no visitors to distract me time seemed to stand still. The need to escape crawled across my skin like a swarm of fire ants. In a last effort to ease the feeling I checked the bindings on the wings, swept on a large coat (okay, a trench coat), and made my way through the hallway to the gym.

The large room was fortunately near empty, it’s only inhabitant a 40ish agent asleep on the bench. I removed my coat and made my way to the punching bag to vent my frustrations. One hit turned to two, then twenty. It seemed so much easier to lose myself in a haze of adrenaline than it was to think. Sweat poured down my back soaking uncomfortably into feathers of the wings. My movement tearing the bandages loose, letting the limbs loose. Despite that I felt more alive since I woke up in a hospital room.

“Kai!?” Standing on the other side of the room was none other than Alex Gray.

The man slumbering in the corner woke at Alex’s yell. Panic fluttered in my chest. The agent’s eyes opened and he seemed to panic at the sight of me. I realized with a cold feeling of dread that my gut. I grabbed my coat and ran, not stopping till I reached my desolate room. Alex was right behind me.

“Kai I’m so sorry!” My response was vitriolic.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Alex!” A heavy weight settled on my chest, forcing he breath out of my lungs and leaving me gasping. My hands shook as I held them against my chest. I couldn’t breathe. Chills rushed down my spine.

“I didn’t mean to scare anyone! I just needed to get out of here.” Alex’s hand rested on my shoulder but panic still flooded my senses.

“Kai, it’s gonna be alright.”

“No it’s not. I know i’m an abomination. Do you have any idea what it feels like to know that no matter what you do you can never get better. I’m going to spend the rest of my life either a lab rat or glorified prisoner being transferred from one facility to the next.” I fell to the floor and something warm wrapped around me.

“K-Kai!” Alex watched me, her eyes flooded with astonishment, “Your wings!”

That’s when I noticed. The feathered limbs that always dragged so uselessly behind me were not so now. Dull, dark feathers blocked my vision as the wings held themselves in front of me, almost as if to protect me.

Then, spasms of pain shot down my spine, burning like a wildfire. Black spots cloud my vision as my nerves scream in agony. Through my blurry vision I see Alex rush over to me. Tears streamed down my face as my body fell limp and I finally lost consciousness.

Waking up in a hospital bed in varying amounts of pain, with a certain genius perched at the foot, seems to be becoming a very unwelcome habit. Alex looked up from the device in her hand and smiled as she saw my bleary gaze.

“Valerius, you’re up! You have no idea how big this is!” The brunettes incessant energy was back in full swing. Completely disregarding my empty stare, she continued, “I've never seen anything like it. The sensory output from your wings has increased exponentially! The nerve endings knit together almost over night and your brain has managed to add another set of limbs to its control system. If we can replicate it, the applications to paralytics and amputees would be unparalleled.” Finally, she paused to take a breath. “You must be able to feel the difference?”

She was right, as always. I could feel the feathers bend awkwardly under my weight, and the way their barbs are rubbed the wrong way by the material. It was horrible. Feeling the wings so intimately just serve as another reminder that I’m just someone else’s experiment.

“Yeah it’s great… Who knows, maybe one day i'll fly like some kind of angel man!” Alex smiled and the lie felt worthwhile if it fueled her enthusiasm. It seemed as if my years of fake faces and fronts finally did some good. So, I let Alex babble on with a smile on my face.

The next day my move went on as planned despite the wing incident. I stood in my room taking one last look around the place that has been my home for the last 5 months. The plain space was especially empty with my few belonging laying in a duffel at my feet. I caught a glimpse of myself and I couldn’t look away. A gaunt face with prominent cheekbones and sunken eyes stared back at me, a reflection of my months of disappearance and recovery. I could almost see why people looked at me like i’m glass about to shatter.

I hear an eager knock at the door, quickly followed by Alex barging into my room. Back to her energetic self, she was practically vibrating with anticipation.

“It’s moving day!” she said in a sing-songy voice, grabbing my bag and pulling me away from the mirror. The wings were bound again but I almost regretted it. Aside from yesterday, the wings were still unable to hold themselves. Unfortunately, with the enhanced feeling, the setup was hot, restricting, and uncomfortable, leaving me unable to really focus on anything in particular. I followed the genius like a lost puppy.

As Alex and I walked out of the Med Wing, I couldn’t help but feel a hint of melancholy. I’m leaving behind the place where I healed, and all hopes of being fixed, resigning myself to a life of isolation.

My new building is the sumptuous housing for the higher ups, equipped with apartments more similar to those outside the compound than the cramped rooms we stayed in as trainees and agents. Most of the rooms contained kitchens and lounges, luxuries i've been without for far too long.

The moment we entered the building I could tell it was reserved for those of importance. Although not overly decorated, the plush carpet and gleaming chandeliers were impressive. Alex talked my ear off the duration of our ride in the elevator. Obviously I would be staying on the top floor, like a princess trapped in a tower.

“Agent, are you even listening?” Alex’s irritated voice broke me out of my thoughts. I smirked.

“Why would I need to listen to you?” We reached the door and she mock frowned as she opened the door with her set of keys. I walked in and turned of the lights before stumbling back.

“Surprise!” Inside were various friends and acquaintances I had come to know in my years in the agency. Various greetings were thrown my way and Alex watched my reaction with a smug grin.

“Welcome to the real world!”

“Good to have you back”

Then, someone had to say the word that started it all.

“Everyone give it up for Icarus.”

The world fell into madness.

[prettywordsyouleft]

The Sex Contract - Chapter 4

Genre: friends to lovers au / friends with benefits / mature content / romance / angst

Characters: Shim Changmin x Kaia Ashton (OC)

A/N: Due to the overwhelming request I have followed your encouragement to bring back one of my older stories. This was back in a time where OCs were everything and writing one chapter in each main’s point of view was the trend. I hope that even though I have edited this drastically, that you can appreciate this story comes from my older style of writing. I definitely still read this often and find it enjoyable so I hope you will too.

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 - FINAL

Chapter 4 – Kaia’s POV.

 Kaia watched Changmin’s eyes widen slightly at her interest, her teasing making him feel uncomfortable. She hadn’t really expected such a reaction from the tall man but he had given it and now she was intrigued. Kaia wasn’t exactly experienced in having a male as a best friend and wondered if you could ever be truly relaxed on all topics like she was with her closest female friends.

“I’m not answering anything!”

“If I answer your questions, will you answer mine?” she proposed and Changmin seemed to ponder her request. He picked up his bottle and took a swig, which settled him.

“How do you know I have anything to ask you?”

“Do you go and ask all your noonas about sex then?” Kaia smirked as he blushed and shook his hands in answer. “I’m not shy of the topic, but if you are-”

“No I’m not,” he quickly said and smirked back. “You’re not a noona anyway. I’m probably the sunbae in this situation too.”

“Don’t rediscover your ego now, Changmin.”

“Alright then, why do you pay so much attention to dramas, they don’t exactly fulfil that need. Since I’ve known you, you’ve never mentioned about having a boyfriend.” He folded his arms over his chest, his chocolate eyes warming up at the lack of boundaries. It seemed like Changmin was prepared to have the conversation now.

“I guess it’s harder for me to find someone here in Korea than back home. Not a lot of Koreans go for foreign girls.”

Changmin shook his head. “There are a bunch of guys who would date you. In fact, if you knew what some of the boys in Super Junior think of you, that wouldn’t be an excuse.”

“That’s my working environment Min!” She slapped his arm and raised her index finger to wag it back and forth. “I have professionalism. Besides they’re all idols.”

“And men with desires that need to be met.”

“What, like some sexual relationship only?” she asked and Changmin shrugged. “I don’t think I could have sex without a proper relationship first. Though that’s never really worked out much for me. I kind of miss it.”

Changmin rubbed his hands together. “You’ve never really spoken about your past experiences. You have done the deed, right?”

“Of course!” she cried in horror and he laughed heartily. “I just suck with men in general. They tend to walk all over me. I’m never really good at reading the signals. It’s almost like they see me as an accessory, and shy out before I can see if they’re a true prince or not.”

“See there’s your problem right there,” Changmin stated, nodding lightly. “Going around thinking that Princes still exist. This isn’t a monarchical country Kai. If you want to marry a Prince, you’ll have to look at Harry back home.”

Kaia scrunched her nose up in disgust as the Korean laughed some more. Though the topic had got her thinking, just how easier it would be to meet sexual needs without emotion getting in the way? Kaia always threw herself into relationships wholeheartedly; wanting her happily ever after like all the fairytales she had grown up believing in. It was hard to shake the notion off that there weren’t any romantic guys left around these days.

“It seems everyone’s standards are incredibly high, I have to admit,” Changmin said a moment later, breaking his friend out of her reverie. “I mean, you have a point, what happened to saying I like you and the person like you back the same way? It seems like games have to be played, and everything can be taken in more than one way.”

Kaia stared at him. “When did you last date someone?”

“Two years ago.”

“Woah, so long ago.” She blinked a couple of times in confusion. “I thought you’d have a bunch of girls lining up for a slice of Godly pie.”

“Oh don’t you go starting it too,” he cried as she giggled at his obvious disgust. “It’s harder than you think. Much like your belief of guys not liking you for what you are, I feel the same. It’s hard to find an honest woman these days. Women like security. I can’t offer that. Women like stability too and I’m always unaware of where life is taking me. I can’t offer anything but what little of a personal life I have. Especially with work, it’s harder to be able to manage a relationship. So I just don’t bother trying.”

Kaia pulled her knees up under her chin and stared at her friend. “Do you ever miss holding someone? Or other physical elements?”

“All the time,” he truthfully responded and sighed, throwing his head onto the back of the sofa. “It’s funny, but I actually enjoyed working on Paradise Ranch. It’s shameful but every action I had to do, even though it was awkward, it was comforting at the same time. It made me reflect on how to fit a girlfriend into my life. But I just can’t find a way, and I don’t have the emotional effort to offer anyway.”

“It seems like we’re on the same level but for different reasons,” she surmised and he nodded his head sadly. “My best friend back home told me that I’m a painter.”

“You’re a what?” Changmin lifted his head at Kaia’s statement, sending her a curious expression.

She nodded. “I meet a guy and paint an entire picture of what I want from the relationship. Then after the first couple of weeks of dating comes the obvious signs that I painted it all wrong. Then I feel the need to escape before I get hurt.”

“That kind of backs up your way of living through fantasy then,” Changmin agreed. “Don’t you want to try and experience something though?”

“I try,” she admitted, thinking back on past experiences. “I attempted to change the image in my head but then they usually try to rush me into bed or I do have sex with them and then they never contact again. I guess I’m just one of those girls guys never want to understand.”

“No one probably wants to try and stand up to your Prince complex,” he said with a laugh and she looked away from Changmin, knowing he was right. A pair of arms wrapped around her and Kaia glanced up at the brunette. “Looks like we’re as bad as one another wanting love but having no ability to maintain it.”

“This is nice though,” Kaia said softly, savouring the feeling of his arms around her. They had hugged before but with the sensitivity in the air, she was able to close her eyes and remember all the things she loved about men. Without thinking it through, Kaia grabbed his hand, feeling how soft his warm skin was.

“Sometimes it would be nice to just forgo relationships and have someone around who you could turn to that wasn’t in the form of a video,” Changmin replied and Kaia frowned, blinking rapidly and snapping her hand away from his.

“Did you just bring up porn?!”

Changmin coughed awkwardly. “How else do I get any attention?!”

“Oh my god, Changmin!”

“You brought it up earlier!”

Kaia nodded. “I didn’t happen to be in your arms at the time though!”

“I was just being honest. I’m sure you have to deal with your own needs too when the mood strikes!”

She gasped, feeling her cheeks flood with colour. “I never expected us to ever speak like this.”

“Isn’t it a good thing though? That we feel this comfortable around each other? I could never take myself off to have one night stands all the time; I know it’d reach the media in a flash if I did. I wouldn’t be able to pay for sex either so what else does a man have left as an option eh?”

“I guess you have a true point.”

“It would be just nice; it’s all I’m saying. But I don’t know really anyone who I could trust to be myself completely around whilst meeting my needs.”

“Well, you have me.” Kaia covered her mouth as soon as she said it and watched as Changmin regarded her for a moment. she waited for him to reject the idea completely.

“I’ve never seen you as anything more than a friend.”

“Me neither, personally I don’t think you’re someone I could ever date,” she replied and he pulled a face. “No, I’m serious. Your fans are kind of deluded by what they see. The real Changmin is just like any other gamer. If you didn’t have a schedule to keep to, you’d sit in your room playing games all day and night, only coming out for food or bathroom breaks.”

“I take high offence to that!” She gave him a hard look. “Alright it’s probably true, but I have lots to like about me. And for one I don’t try to find a Princess in another, and just accept the girl for who she is.”

“Cheap shot,” Kaia said and Changmin chuckled.

“You’re right though, there’s a term for it, friends with benefits, right?” he asked and she nodded. “I wonder how well it works out?”

“I guess it depends on the couple. It could either go one of two ways. They end up falling in love, like in all the movies, or end up bored of the sex and move on to find partners.”

“Well, there’s no risk of that happening if we tried,” Changmin announced. “I don’t think I could see you as anything more than a best friend.”

“Are you even attracted to me?” Kaia wondered and he smiled. “What?”

“Well, you’re not ugly.”

“Thanks, I think,” she replied and Changmin laughed again, wrapping an arm around her.

“I know from earlier that you think the same about me, Kai.” He smiled smugly. “But you know what; you missed out on watching the rest of Heartstrings.”

“Like I was ever going to be able to watch it in peace with you around,” she bitterly stated, although it was hardly a thought that crossed her mind truthfully.

The night had turned down an unexpected path. Kaia wondered if it was all a dream or something they’d both forget after a good night’s rest.

_________________

Part 5

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[gayspock]

every time i go on a rant about doctor who my power levelsliterally deplete

alright, first things first: ive heard so many people say that, after episode 1, the entire season goes downhill and the thing is?? with doctor who... i literally never know when to trust ppl or not, bc 50% of the time theyre RIGHT and it does get worse, and 50% of the time they literally just tank everything as soon as ANYTHING that can be misconstrued as an “agenda” pops up and yeah. YEAH, ITS DEFINITELY THE LATTER.

undoubtedly.... i think its picking up a lot more, as series usually do, with time. every shift tends to be experimental; most doctors, have rocky first seasons. i think, in comparison to others’ first runs, its doing quite fine!

however, see: most of the good episodes, have those slants that realy make the gross fanboys go off their SHITS. rosa, demons of punjab, kerblam (although prsonally... im still thinking over some of the messages, and i cant tell if imisinterpreted or What)   and witchfinders (the last epi i fully watched; fell asleep during it takes u away, so idk what to make of that just now)  are all. GOOD. like theyre GOOD fuckn episodes, but ... INCIDENTIALLY, THOSE EPISODES ARE ALSO  ALL. VERY “”POLITICAL””  HENCE WHY. THE FANBOYS JUST GO BANANAS AND SHIT ON THEM. hivemind activates, and i cannot tell you how many times ive heard ppl whining about it gwtting worse as the series progresses, and i was REAL scared bc i didnt find the beginning to be that entertaining,  but trust me. theyre wrong; theyre absolutly erong; and it does improve, in my opinion. its just ppl get mad over racism, how imperalism affectd countries other than the uk, corporations and sexism

THAT BEING SAID!!! although it is getting... better.... one aspect is kind of becoming clear to me - because absolutely NONE of those episodes (other than rosa, but he cowrote it( were written by chibnall himself and, actually,... he kind of wrote, UH, the worst ones???? in the season?? (.... tc...)and i jusT- I JUST THINK IN GENERAL...

i hear broachurch is good. right? and, like, it might be! but- i think the problem is just... LESS that he cant write, but he cant write sci fi speciically or needs a lot  of practice - like, even before this, the episodes he wrote were just simply not good. dinosaurs on a spaceship  was, like, GOD THATS A DOPE TITLE but hardly delivered (yes there were dinosaurs and yes they were on a spaceship, so fine but it was lacklustre as s) and... GOD FORBID, that mother fucker wrote 42 which, quitehonestly, was the most.... LIKE, although i bet theres worse if you look, i always considered it to be one of the worst episodes of new who? LIKE, its not- wrong in any GRRRRRRR way but is just so- so- ugh. like whatever, i dont care and none of this has any consequence, and it all feels recycled and like yall were just like “so we need... to push an episode out i guess?” which how disappointing bc that was his first go at writing on DOCTOR WHO and he did th...

AND ITS JUT. I think i saw it put somewhere that he just- doesnt ... HAVE the creativity? which makes a whole lot of sense, because none of his ideas have really... SHONE to mee, in that sort of way. moffat was a fucking pig, and he bungled overarching plots, and was part of the reason why i stopped watching DW when i was little but like- at least the man had good ideas, annoyingly enough. when restricted so single episodes,. LIKE when they didnt let him suck his own dick for seasons at a time on national tv, he was GREAT and like. his standalones remain some of the best the new era but fuckn..... c-chibnall? beore this season, evverything he wrote wa-s no offence- but they were all clunkers and fucking funnly enough i saw someone analysing them all and. im cryin bc . HE USES A FUCKING COUNTDOWN, TO TRY AND ADD TENSION IN LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE EPISOE HE WROTE BEFORE TH which is finebut. like... like i think its just DEMONSTRATIVE of how he falls short, when it comes to scifi, because ...its as if he’s employing these individual pieces but never has the heart to put them together? and he doesnt experiment with the cool elements, and what makes scifi GREAT and it all feels so safe, and as if he’s going through the motions if that makes ANY sense?????????????????????

like the two episodes tha.... REALLY stick out like sore thumbs, are both so similar i their shortcomings. the tsusuguuuryra ( I CANT SPELL IT!!) conudrum and 42 - both of which, have fine initial premises but theyre both handled in the most... boring of ways that doesnt ever explore them, and instead it tries too HARD and overloads itself with sci fi tropes, and complications galore. and that doesnt work!!! cakin iton doent WORK- rather, the result ends up meaningless because he spent SO long introducing new points of tension he forgot that, uh, they were points of TENSION and thus- like- the actual consequences never prevail, and nor does any of it build any Anticipation and its lie. alright then! fine. okay

LIKE 42 IS ALL LIKE: we lost the tardis and now the ship is hurtling towards the sun and we have 42 minutes until we all die now there’s a big scary sunn monster that has infected someone andnow its killing everyone but also to unlock the doors to the engine room we have to answer these pub queestions and also martha just got jetissoned into the sun but its fine bc she came back barely 5 minutes later and also the doctor is now infected what a TWIST! now just dump the fuel ut into the sun 

AND THEN TC IS ALL LIKE - wiith them introducing the tardis is lost. oh also the doctors injured. oh also that mans pregnant. oh also theyre going to blow up the ship.oh  also that gremlin is going to eat the ship. oh also that doctor dude is ddead and that girl is too nervous to deliver the baby. oh also something is wrong twith that pilot. h shes dead now, now  just let the creature eat th bomb like it was going to do anyway

LIKE ITS LIKE- no offence... but what i consider it to be is a sign of insecurity?  lack of confidence in your writing, to write those parts WELL enough so they can support themselves, and instead you introduce as many different things you can THINK of to try and compensate.and instead nNONE o it lands-and again, its just....SEEMS LIKE THE CASE, ESPECIALLY ALSO WITH REGARDS TO HOW CHIBNALL DOESNT SEEM TO BE . ATTEMPTING ANYTHING... THAT INTERESTING, IF THAT MAKES SENSE? what his episodes feel like, is Functional and thats FINE and functiona episodes are alright but when th ewhole... DAMN season is th

on that note. why i also dont like him is ...

shes getting there, but its slow going, man. just let jodie be the fuckn doctor. finally, in kerblam she got to take fucking CHARGE and in witchunters too but.... otther than that, she really just. hasnt been ALLOWED to be THE DOCTOR, or HER DOCTOR at all and its stating to getfrustrating- and i think, as many ppl have pointed out i realise, its in part due to the fact she kind of just blends in with the team and lacks all the elements of the doctor that we love and its so . FRUSTRATING because jodie is amazing, and her doctor seems to have so much promise but its like he’s holding her fback ffrom being what she COULD and SHOULD be which !!! AAAAAAAAAAA- my head is in my god damn hands, man1!

SPEAKING OF THE TEAM, and not allwing people to reach their full potential...

personally, i thnik theres just too many  people in the tardis. i know that its very old-who, but like... HONESTLY? i think 2 characters is the best number- and whilst 3 might not sound like a HUGE INCREASe... well it kind of, uh, is?? LIKE- what i find best about 2 companions, and one doctor is there’s a very manageable set of interpersonal connections. 3 to be precise- between themselves, and hen one each with the doctor. 

with four people... youre DOUBLING the number of interactions you have to develop, if that maks any sense?? like yaz&doctor, yaz&ryan, yaz&graham, graham&ryan, ryan&doctor, graham&doctor LIKE- LIKE ITS... ITS FINE if two people dont know each other that much but it jus t feels....  disconnected? as in, they dont feel as connected together because its hard to o intto eeach and every dynamic- what instead feels like the case, is that graham&ryan are operating as their own thing, with the doctor on the sidelines somewhee and with yaz also . ion the sideleines but even MORE so. ALTHOUGH i was never that fond of amy, what worked so well for the amy/rory/doctor  stretch was that each of them had a fulfilling interaction with each othe, yo uknow?   

and also, whilst we’re on the topic: i similarly do still think two companions are better than one, bc in my opinion...  there’s only been one or two cases in new who, where a single companion has worked supe well in new who- DONNA was just... amazing for that,and bill was quite good alone too, and i think thats because? both relationships never got too... LIKE TOO MUCH, and didnt need a third party to lighten them ror offer a breather and they were both interesting enough (... no offence) to handle it on their own??

unlike clara and amy and martha- although poor martha i dont blame for, but it was just so GOD when jack arrived at th end of s3 to stop that fuc0sfj osdj 0sdfj HELLfire

t et the focus and is kind of ignored or a full episode or put into a corner, and i dont know- i dont know if that maks sensei- but its just.. its so CROWDED and its unfar becauuse

yaz is absolutely getting hthe short end of the stick and i kind of just wish she wasnt there. does that make sense? i adore her, and i adore her conceptually, but- i think the graham/ryan dynamic is just so rich , and she’s so disconnected to them both, and quite often during episodes she’s the one who doesnt get explored as deeply as the others and.... HONESTLY, its just not fair on her because she’s WONDERFUL annd her actrress is too and i thin k what would be moreappropriate was if she had her own series with the doctor and ryan, maybe?

LIKE, IF- 

WHAT I THINK WOULD HAVE WORKED BETTER, was if she wasdropped back off, early in the season  and graham and ryan continued to travel with her (given they have a stronger reason to) then, maybe, graham decided to step back off and yaz came in again and her and ryan got go go around with the doctor for a season whilst still popping into see graham every so often (like once o twice in a season). LIKE I JSUT THINK that- she isnt... getting the love she so desereves, quite like with the doctor, and i really want her to. HONESTLY, a lot of the focus does feel... in terms of EMOTIONS to be weighing on graham and ryan, and im not mad at that at all like. our second black companion in a row?? wand not only that, but a disabled black man, who explores more sensitive subjects- THAT IS GOOD, AND PLEASE DONT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME, BUt. LIKE ITS A LOT... FROM ALL SIDES, and just.... NEXT TIME IT WOULD JUST BE BETTER if it wasnt so many ppl then like. they could aall... just be happy. you know.

[eldritchsurveys]

o81.

[[ Random Survey Questions // By @x-hallie-x ]] 1. When was the last time you realized something about yourself, your abilities, or your financial situation that left you feeling disappointed? >> I’m not sure. I feel like I’ve got a pretty solid perception of my financial situation, and considering it’s the best it’s been since I’ve hit adulthood, I can’t imagine being too disappointed (except when new video games come out lmao but half the time I buy them anyway because... like, I can, for once, and my brain goblins can’t prevent me from treating myself forever!). As far as my mental state is concerned, Can Calah won’t let me beat myself up about that, so entertaining any sort of disappointment in myself is out of the question. 

2. Generally, are you more likely to blame others or yourself for problems you experience? >> Generally, I’m more likely to blame myself than others. But I don’t think that’s any better than blaming others. I am as much a product of my environment and the other people in my life as I am a product of whatever wild magical shit happens to make brains the way they are. I can control what I can control, but a lot of things about my life are out of my control. Finding things to place blame on really just doesn’t help me fix things, so I don’t care who’s to blame, I care how it can be fixed/helped.

3. What is one thing about your life that you don’t ever see changing, even if you might wish it would? >> I probably will never be a person that is gainfully employed or self-sufficient. And, honestly, that would hurt me more if I didn’t have someone who is gainfully employed and self-sufficient who is willing to use that for both of our benefit. I was basically convinced that everyone in this country is out for whatever they can get for themselves, and if I can’t keep up with that, then I’m not worth keeping around. I’d been convinced that people saw me as a leech who just existed to suck up all their resources, and had nothing of value to offer in return. It’s a very insidious mentality to have absorbed, but the longer I’m here, the less power it has over me, so I guess I do have her to thank for that.

4. At what point in your life have you been the most social or had the most friendships? And at which point have you been the least social? >> I guess when I lived in NYC, in general. I had a couple of persistent social circles: the Streetwork LES crew (homeless/destitute youth who went to the drop-in center on the Lower East Side called Streetwork), and the vamp scene crew (self-styled “vampyres” who participated in a big underground subculture, subdivided themselves into Houses and Clans, and threw a lot of parties). Most of those people weren’t what I’d call my friends, per se -- we were very friendly, sure, and I had a lot of good times with them, but most of those people didn’t really measure up to what I’d want out of friendship (and the rest were just casual acquaintances). I guess now is when I’ve been the least social; I know almost no one out here and the people I do know are really just... friendly acquaintances, I guess? Social-media buddies? We don’t really know things about each other, you know, like friends do... I don’t know. At this age, I don’t know how friendships form and I don’t know how to find out. The Internet is where my friends are now and I guess that’s just the way it has to be until I figure out something else (or until I move to a less socially-uptight area).

5. Do you prefer to have a few close friends or a bunch of random acquaintances? Which would describe what you have now? >> I’d like to have a mix of both. I just like to have people to be social with, in a variety of ways. Like I had in New York... Right now, I don’t know what I have. I’m kinda off this subject because it depresses me, ngl, no offence to anyone.

6. Do you journal? Generally, what do you write about? Do you find it helpful to get your thoughts out that way, or do you prefer another form of self-expression? >> I used to journal. I used to be really into journalling. But I guess, instead of trying to stick to the same practices I used to do, maybe I ought to recognise that my instinct to journal has been diverted into other forms of media -- like keeping a tumblr, and taking surveys. These all exist as records of my life -- as proof that I was here, that I existed, that these things happened to me. The internet enables me to keep a multimedia record of my existence, and that’s actually more than I could expect from just one paper journal, or whatever. Journalling (on various journal sites especially) was indeed a helpful way for me to get my thoughts out, but I guess now I just talk to Can Calah instead. I think I got put off writing my thoughts down because my instinct is to keep stuff like that public, because it’s all me and I am an open book, but then people (not just one person, either, this is just a thing people do in general, and I guess it’s understandable but oh my god) would get upset about stuff later and it’d just get messy. So I got put off being emotional on the internet because it backfired on me a lot lmao. I’m working on getting over it.

7. Do you like eating foods that other people have cooked for you, or do you prefer to have control over your meals? >> I do like eating food that other people have cooked for me -- as long as it’s food I like. And as long as it isn’t like... some kind of social trap. Like, I was annoyed with Sparrow’s mother for a few months because she wasn’t respecting my boundaries and always had some stupid shit to say about me to Sparrow and I don’t play that fucking shit. So I basically stopped being nice to her. And she kept trying to do stuff like... like Easter dinner, she made it “Southern-style” and made collards and banana pudding and shit. And like, this is a Midwestern White(tm) we’re talking about. That’s not the kind of stuff she naturally makes for any occasion. And she told Sparrow that she’d asked around (I guess at her job??? or something?) about what Black people eat on holidays??? And Sparrow’s like “but you could have just asked Logan if there was any dishes he wanted to be served”. Like, it’s not fucking rocket science, I’m right here. But she’ll always do shit like that, trying to ingratiate herself, when it’s not that fucking hard!!!! Don’t touch me, don’t talk about me to my fiancée behind my back, and ask me things directly!!!! WOW! SO HARD! (Also, the banana pudding was a fucking miss because bananas are one of like 3 foods on this entire planet that I don’t like. Which... she would have known... if she’d asked me first. But no, it was just all “oh I did this, I did that, he’s not grateful” bitch I DIDN’T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS. STOP IT.) Anyway, shit like that I hate. But people making food for me in general is great, because I hate cooking.

8. Have you ever been somewhere and REALLY didnt like a food that you were expected to eat? How did you deal with this? Are you someone who is likely to suck it up and be polite or refuse and save your taste buds? >> Yeah, that same Easter holiday I just mentioned. The collards were terrible, the fish was meh, and everything else was food I don’t care for (cheesy potatoes and that kinda starch-heavy fare). So I basically drank wine and played on my phone the whole time. As you can see, politeness is not something I feel compelled to give if I don’t want to. 

9. What is one way in which you compare yourself to others? In this comparison, do you regard yourself as better or worse off than the people to whom you usually do the comparing? >> Well, I compare myself to other fanwriters a lot, because it’s something I can’t help. I don’t think I’m a bad writer. I’ve been writing literally all of my conscious life, and I’ve watched myself progress. I’m generally pretty fair about my strengths and weaknesses in writing. When my confidence is where it’s supposed to be, and I’ve been writing often, I turn out some pretty good shit. I like my work. But my confidence took a big hit at some point lately, and I’m not sure why. All I know is that I feel like my offerings to fandom are like... boring to people, or not interesting enough, or??? I don’t know. And I feel like I don’t have any stories worth telling anymore. These are all feelings and really not based in any sort of reality, because my friends and partner tell me they like my work and my OCs, and tumblr as a whole is so astoundingly saturated with fanwork that the lack of interest most likely has nothing to do with my content and more to do with the fact that the market is full up and people don’t have time. I know all that, but when I sit down and go “okay, self, let’s write a fic”, all these mental blocks land in my path and I get too tired to deal with it and just scroll my dash instead. I don’t know what to do, but I guess I’ll just truck along until something in me changes. :/

10. What is something you’ve been particularly grateful for lately? >> That while my thanatophobia is nowhere near fixed, it’s been a little quieter lately. I’ve been able to sleep, and being able to sleep makes a lot of other things more manageable by default, so it’s like an ouroboros (in this case, a good one; but when I can’t sleep then it becomes a terrible one, lol). I’m using the lull to try to install some better programming, some less spiral-y thought patterns, that sort of thing. I don’t know if it’s helping, but I’ve literally got more to gain than I stand to lose, so.

11. What kind of change or opportunity would be the biggest help in your life right now? >> A therapist. But... like, one I feel like I can build a relationship with, not one who I dread seeing (which has been every therapist I’ve ever had). But like, besides just the benefit to my mental health... the clock is really ticking; recertification for SSI will most likely be happening within the next year and I have no psych team. How will they know how to judge my case if I’m not in any kind of treatment? That’s how people end up cut off. :T

12. Is there one emotion that you experience more often than any other? Is there an emotion you rarely ever experience? >> I experience amusement most often, probably. If that’s an emotion. An emotion I rarely experience is... shame? Most likely.

13. How mature would you say you are? What qualities do you think make a person mature? >> I don’t know how to gauge maturity, least of all my own. What is my basis for comparison? Adulthood as it is in modern USian society is a crock, most of the time -- the way people understand it is all kinds of flawed. What are our passage rites? Who are our elders? Where do we learn how to be a productive member of our community (and not just a cog in the capitalist machine)? The people we look up to are often no better off than we are. Individualism as a social standard (as opposed to the understanding of oneself as an individual) and the division of the community structure has ruined our ability to understand ourselves in relation to other people properly. What is maturity, in a society like this? What is my role in my society, and how well am I fulfilling it? What have I learned about life, and how much of it is truly worth knowing and passing on? Questions, questions, questions.

14. When was the last time you believed there might be something seriously medically wrong with you? What was the ultimate diagnosis? >> I mean, I always think my body’s about to fall apart, even though I’m aware that’s illogical and just a byproduct of thanatophobia. I don’t think I’ve ever thought anything was seriously medically wrong with me, because generally nothing is.

15. What is one illness you are afraid of having? Do you know anyone who has faced this illness? >> Anything that involves degeneration of the brain (Alzheimer’s and the sort). And no, I don’t know anyone personally with anything like that. 

16. How do you tend to behave when you’re sick? What kinds of things do you like people to do for you, if anything, to help you feel better? >> I’m so rarely ill that I’m not even sure, lmao. I think it’d depend on what kind of sick I am, because different illnesses require different methods of care.

17. If you’re someone who rarely eats breakfast, is there a reason for this? If you do usually eat breakfast, are there any other meals you avoid or skip for any reason, and why so? >> I mean, I eat when I’m hungry, and I don’t care what the time of day is (as long as it’s not too close to bedtime). So I don’t really label my meals using “breakfast”, “lunch”, and so on. 

18. When was the last time you did something you were proud of? Were other people proud of you as well? Does it matter to you whether or not other people care about your accomplishments, or is your own satisfaction enough? >> Probably finishing some questline in a video game. And no, I mean, I didn’t really tell anyone or anything. It’s not really an important thing. Woo, big deal, video games, who cares.

19. What is your least favorite thing about the season you’re currently experiencing? Are you okay with most types of weather, or are you only happy under certain conditions? >> I don’t like sweating or feeling lethargic because of heat / humidity. I’m usually okay with most types of weather as long as they’re not extreme, but if there are long stretches of cloudy / rainy days I feel pretty diminished and gloomy-doomy.

20. Have you made any changes to your style or “look” lately? How often do you change your appearance, hairstyle, fashion, etc? Or is it a pretty constant thing? >> No, not really. I don’t know what to change. My executive function when it comes to appearance is like... in negative integers. I just... I lost the knack for it. Whatever.

21. What are some things you do to feel pampered? >> I’m not sure I ever feel pampered, lmao. I tried to think about it and I just got this tangled ball of wires regarding like, stuff I can’t even explain quickly, so I’m just gonna move on.

22. What was the last thing you felt hopeful about? Do you think there’s a good chance of whatever-it-is working out in your favor, or not so much? >> Well, the last thing I felt hopeful about was getting out to see The Equalizer 2 today, and then the whole debit card thing happened, so I actually had my hopes dashed. And all because I did what I was supposed to do! But doing what I was supposed to do means that now I have to wait for a new debit card, which means I can’t go to the movies today (I can’t get to the bank and just get cash, which is what the lady on the phone said to do! I don’t fucking drive!!!). So, you know. Right now I’m just focusing on salvaging my day and my mood.

23. In what ways are you prone to black and white thinking? In what ways do you see more in terms of color or gray? >> I don’t know, I’m mostly a grey person by necessity or by design or whatever. Sometimes I’ll think “I’m a complete fucking idiot” because I did one dumb thing, or something, but like... it’s just because I’m upset about the one thing and can’t properly process that one thing at the moment without like, making a mountain out of it. That’s why I just try to distract myself until the feeling passes, because that’s the only way to get my brain to move on.

24. Are there types of people you will simply never understand (not necessarily ~empathize with) no matter how hard you might try? Are there people you seem to understand almost immediately? >> Well, yeah, definitely. I mean, I can’t possibly understand everyone. I don’t expect myself to, either. I guess I understand people who are like me? Like, that’s logical, right? I don’t know. 

25. When was the last time you tried something you’ve never tried before? How likely are you to break from your routine and try new things? >> The only thing I can think of recently is playing Journey, because I’d never played that before. I don’t know how often I try new things, especially since a lot of “trying new things” involves either money I don’t have or access I don’t have. 

26. Have you ever “recovered” from anything? What does “recovery” mean or look like to you? >> I don’t think so. I think mental recovery is a long-term shifting of paradigms and changing of perspective that can only be truly comprehended in retrospect. I think in that respect, I’ll be recovering for a long time. This is why I prefer the small-scale focus rather than the wide-scale focus, because using the wide-scale focus too much makes everything feel bleak and futile -- we may have a more complex consciousness and a more complex understanding of time and space, but I think exercising that cosmic viewpoint frequently can be really taxing on the brain (which manifests in things like existential despair, thanatophobia, etc). So instead of thinking about “recovery”, I think about being good to myself today. And that’s that.

27. What are some ways your childhood differed from those of others around you? Do you think this difference was harmful or advantageous in the long run? >> Hm. I was raised as a “gifted child” with all the ridiculous bullshit that entailed. I was sheltered to an absurd degree for a modern child (like, I didn’t watch cartoons and didn’t know what actual video games [as opposed to computer games] were until I was almost an adult). I didn’t make my first friend until sixth grade, and I was so socially undeveloped that I ended up losing her before the year was out. I didn’t know how to talk to people, I was sullen and withdrawn, I lived in my headspace and didn’t bother with the actual world around me. My curiosity as a child was severely blunted by alienation (I guess I’m making up for that lack of curiosity now, huh). I was pretty obviously not a normal child, but no one could see that?? Or didn’t care?? As long as I got good grades and didn’t cut up in class, no one cared about my development, I guess. I think the nature of my childhood didn’t do me any favours, but I also think that I’ve done the best I could with what I had (which wasn’t much). I eventually had to teach myself socialisation by observation, for example, and I think I did a decent enough job. I can’t blame my parent and the adults around him for my stunted development forever. Now it’s my responsibility.

28. What is one thing you are really good at compared to most people? What about one thing you are really bad at compared to others? >> I really don’t know how to determine this. I think it’s too easy to judge oneself unfairly in comparison to other people, so I try not to do it on purpose, you dig.

29. Do you think people are “all good” or “all bad”? What would make someone qualify as “bad” or “good” to you, or do you simply not think in those terms? >> No, I don’t think that. I don’t even think of people in terms of “bad” or “good”, unless we’re literally playing a Fable game where you have an actual “good/evil” meter. Even then, I’ve spent most of my time in that fandom unpacking that stupid fucking spectrum and writing the characters with the nuance they deserve. So, you know. I’m pretty sick of good/evil or good/bad as a whole. People are people, and that’s that on that.

30. When was the last time you did something out in nature? Do you notice a dip in your mood when you don’t get enough of the Great Outdoors? >> I guess that’d be on the Fourth, when we went to Creekside Park to eat lunch. I... really don’t spend a whole lot of time outside anymore, and I think it’s directly related to how much I don’t like where I live. I’ve tried on many occasions to be more enthusiastic about something, anything, about Grand Rapids, Michigan, and I really fucking can’t. I can’t do it. And I’m tired of trying to make myself do it. So now I just don’t do shit. Which isn’t any better, I know. I’m just trying to make do, here.

[inkandblade]

Hello!! I love your work!! For the prompt thing, Stiles is used to his friend living in the apartment below him. He's still a little tipsy and forgets that death eyebrows Derek moved in downstairs, and breaks into Derek's place so he can make a greasy carb-loaded breakfast to share. If this is too involved maybe Derek waking up to Stiles drawing/writing on his back?

Stiles was being very quiet. Very, very quiet—as if he was hunting waaaaabits. He stifled a snort and felt his magic tingle out into his nose and fingers and feet to help muffle the sounds he was making. The floor in Jackson’s living area, unlike Stiles’ in the apartment above, was polished wood. Stiles slipped his shoes off and almost fell over as he bent down to put them as neatly as he could near the door. Jackson had a strict no shoes in the house rule.

Luckily he also had a Stiles makes the best breakfasts on the planet rule, and kept his fridge stocked accordingly. Who could say no to their handsome, magic upstairs-neighbour making them a handsome, magic breakfast on a Sunday morning?

Actually, someone who’d pulled last night could: Stiles screwed up his eyes and thought very carefully and reached his magic out towards the bedroom… Just one heartbeat. He managed to stop himself from crowing, ‘All is clear!’

Stiles couldn’t resist sliding in his socks towards the kitchen, though. He collided with the counter top with a resounding oomph. He didn’t manage to retain his snort this time, but he was pretty sure the sound didn’t travel; a Spark was an awesome thing to have when trying to hide your tipsy shenanigans—no matter how delicious—from a grumpy werewolf.

Stiles pulled the one of the blinds out a bit and saw that there was a tiny slip of sunlight just showing through the long lines of the high rises outside. He turned around and focused very carefully on the clock on the microwave. He had approximately fifty-five minutes to make his mom’s from-scratch hash browns, bacon, and chocolate-chip pancakes. The coffee machine for some reason looked different to the last time Stiles had broken in to cook breakfast, but it was set to the usual time.

Jackson was going to loooooooooove Stiles to the moooooon and back.

Stiles didn’t even try to stifle his giggles this time.

He did what he had to with the potatoes and extra fancy cheese, figured that the super-duper sourdough would make super-wonderful toast, and mixed a little extra something-something into the pancake batter in the form of a pick-me-up spell. Even if Jackson hadn’t had a big night last night, and even if he was still a bit of a prick, he worked hard. Even assholes deserved nice surprises sometimes. Stiles’ mom had always said that being kind didn’t hurt anyone.

Stiles set everything in the fridge to keep—naked as the Saran wrap wasn’t in its usual spot—then put his ass on one of Jackson’s stupid, designer kitchen stools and his head on the marble bench-top. It was far, far more comfortable than usual. Ten or fifteen minutes worth of sleep wasn’t enough, but it would do for now.

♠

The growl was expected, but didn’t sound right. Stiles opened his eyes and blinked into the morning sun and was certain that Jackson would have told him if he’d become an Alpha in the last couple of weeks. They hadn’t seen each other since the beginning of the month, but hell, that wasn’t the kind of thing you kept from someone who relatively-regularly broke into your kitchen.

It might have been the Alpha in the voice that cinched Stiles’ understanding, though. “Who the fuck are you?!”

But, really was it the voice? It was probably that this guy was, and no offence to Jackson ‘cause even if he was hot, and he was, he had nothing on this guy. Stiles sucked in a breath and tried to make his thoughts come back to something that resembled coherent. The hot Alpha in front of him was wearing designer jockey-shorts and a murderous scowl. It was entirely possible that Stiles was still quite drunk, because both of those things seemed absurdly sexy.

Stiles tried for a smooth introduction, but all that came out of his mouth was a squeak. The werewolf’s eyebrows rose in tandem and all of a sudden Stiles understood. He sat back a little too quickly and was lucky that the wards he’d put into the walls hadn’t been taken with all Jackson’s stuff—the magical safety-net righted him back onto the stool and Stiles was glad the counter was there between him and the Alpha.

He couldn’t understand how he’d forgotten that Jackson got that out-of-the-blue transfer to the other side of the country. Well, he could, but he couldn’t figure out how he was going to explain to hot-and-murderous-red-eyes that his magic sometimes fucked with his memory if there was tequila involved.  

The Alpha was still glaring, but hadn’t moved, so Stiles decided he should probably try to speak again, before the guy did come closer.

“I’m,” Stiles swallowed as the Alpha wrinkled his nose. Morning-after-tequila breath was likely not an attractive thing to such a sensitive scent organ. “I’m your upstairs-neighbour, and I seem to have made what I’m hoping isn’t actually a fatal error.” One of the eyebrows dropped, just slightly. Stiles’ brain declared that a good sign. “Full disclosure. I’m a Spark. I set up the wards on this place for the previous tenant. We’ve known each other since kindergarten. I’ve been breaking in on every other Sunday morning for breakfast for a couple of years. The amount I drank last night,” the ‘wolf’s nostrils flared again, “must have short-circuited my brain? I honestly forgot there was no Jackson here to eat my happy-face pancakes and drool over my hash browns anymore.”

The Alpha’s stomach made a very distinct noise, and his eyes faded from red to something Stiles wished he could describe. The guy glanced at his stomach and back up again, a look of betrayal pinking his cheeks. He breathed in quickly and seemed to regain his composure, saying with a stone-like face, “It’s your magic in the walls.”

That was possibly, Stiles thought, supposed to be a question. He should at least make an attempt to answer it.

“Yes. Wards. It’s what I do for a living. I can have them removed for you?” It was not something he should be doing after someone moved into a place, it usually had to happen before someone moved in, or they wouldn’t be able to stay in the apartment or house. That, well. That confused Stiles enough that he felt his brain starting to try to claw its way out from underneath the remaining fog of the alcohol.

If the Alpha hadn’t had the old wards removed, he shouldn’t be able to be here. If he had had them removed and replaced, then Stiles shouldn’t have been able to break in.

Stiles reached out with his magic again. They were definitely still his wards, and they hadn’t been altered. The Alpha huffed and Stiles realized that he must have his drunk thinky-face on.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” The Alpha looked far too amused for Stiles’ liking. If the wards on this place had failed and Stiles couldn’t feel that, then he had a major, major problem. “Hey,” the guy had taken a step closer and was waving a hand in Stiles’ direction. His nostrils were flaring in and out. “Breathe. I’m not going to hurt you, and there is nothing wrong with your wards.”

That snapped Stiles out of it, but not enough to form a coherent sentence. “But—”

“Jackson Whittemore is my cousin. He was born human, and then bitten by my Alpha mother.” He paused a few moments, possibly to let that sink in, then restated, “We share both our bloodline and biteline. That’s why your wards haven’t caused me any problems.”  

This time Stiles’ brain caught up with what was being said. He breathed out a sigh of relief and decided not to dwell on the fact that the Alpha’s nose screwed up again. Instead, Stiles decided he should probably introduce himself.

“I’m Stiles Stilinski.” He swallowed and figured that he should try to exit, stage-left, as quickly as he could. He let his mouth move as quickly as it would. “I’m very sorry for breaking into your apartment, and I promise I won’t do it again. I made pancake batter and cheesy-hash browns. The spell on the pancakes is benevolent, I swear. The potato should be fried in a mixture of butter and olive oil or they won’t taste right. I’ll replace everything, I promise.” He glanced back at the fridge. “I will need to know where to buy that cheese, though, ‘cause I have no idea.”

“You made hash browns with Cacio Bufala?” The Alpha, who Stiles still didn’t know the name of, blinked like a stoned owl. He didn’t actually look angry, though, just incredulous.

“I,” Stiles hoped his smile looked sincere, not snarky. “Yes?”

The guy laughed, and Stiles really, really wanted to know his name now. He had the most amazing smile, and his eye were lit up with something other than the Alpha power they’d had before. The fact that the man was basically naked wasn’t helping any—chiselled abs and power-house thighs and a thick treasure trail and lickable clavicles, and that was all without thinking about the dude’s face. Any moment now the guy was going to smell Stiles’ arousal over the stink of his morning-after-tequila breath. The guy twisted around as he reached for another one of the blinds and shit.

The tattoo on the guy’s back. Jackson’s Alpha was Talia Hale. Talia Hale only had one son. Stiles’ brain was definitely in danger of exploding. The man in front of him was pretty famous. He was an Alpha because he had, at the age of fourteen, ripped out the throat of the guy who’d tried to assault his older sister. Stiles was, quite possibly, lucky to be alive. Then again, the traitorous part of his brain supplied, Jackson always maintained that his cousin was a fluff-ball in disguise, once you got to know him. Stiles always assumed that Jackson was down-talking the guy ‘cause he was jealous of his cheekbones or something.

The Alpha turned back and sniffed again just as the coffee machine beeped that it was ready. He flicked his eyes down over Stiles’ stale clubbing outfit and back up, hovering a moment over Stiles’ neck. “I’m going to get you a cup of wake-up coffee, and then you are going to make me pancakes and absurdly expensive hash browns, and once we’re eating you can tell me more about the wards. If the food’s good enough, I won’t have you spell yourself out of them.”

Stiles nodded and managed to squeak out, “Deal.”

“I’m Derek, by the way.”

♠

Expensive cheese name brazenly lifted from a Mental Floss article. Prompt me or Tempt me.

[jeontaeh]

〚THIRTY NINE〛

Jungkook got confronted by Hoseok, Yoongi, and Namjoon a week later.

He was in the library during the study period, listening to Dolly Parton while doing math homework. Because nothing solved calculus like some good old country music! He was halfway done when he heard a clearing of a throat.

"Jeon." A voice came abruptly, and Jungkook took his earphone out and looked up, raising his eyebrow when he saw the three boys. Namjoon in his glasses, Yoongi with his disheveled shirt sticking out of his trousers, and Hoseok looking slightly nervous.

"What?" Jungkook asked, voice flat.

With everything that had been going on so far in the school year, three of his best friends suddenly shunning him and pretending like he never existed was one of the worst. He was close to them. Maybe not how close he was to Jimin, but it still counted.

They ate lunch together every single day. Jungkook used to help Yoongi with his Chemistry assignments. Hoseok used to call Jungkook 'Kookie Boy' and always grin when Jungkook scowled. Namjoon used to help Jungkook with his English homework, always ruffling his hair afterward.

To just... ignore him like that. To completely push him away and even actively make homophobic remarks towards him. It sucked.

"We wanted to talk to you." Hoseok stated, and Jungkook saw the orange haired boy and then bit his lip.

"Okay..." Jungkook trailed and then saw Namjoon sigh. "Jungkook- we came here to apologize. About being so... rude about the gay thing."

Jungkook stilled. He looked at them with widened eyes. Hoseok nodded. "We were assholes to you. You don't deserve that, Jungkook! I've been wanting to apologize for ages, honestly. It just... it occurred to us suddenly how badly we fucked up." Hoseok mumbled.

"Why now?" Jungkook asked, and then saw Yoongi give him a look.

"Yesterday at football practice- one of the guys made a homophobic comment towards Sehun. Sehun didn't say anything, but V got really mad and yelled at everyone. Said stuff about how we were being ignorant and shouldn't make jokes like these." Yoongi said, hands in pockets.

Jungkook stilled. "Oh." Jungkook said, looking down at his notebook.

"We're sorry. Truly. Jin also kind of beat our ass." Namjoon said, and Jungkook bubbled out a giggle. "So yeah. We don't expect you to forgive us-"

"I don't. Not instantly. But- but people make mistakes. And you guys are still young, so the earlier you decide to change, the better." Jungkook said, giving the boys a small smile. Hoseok and Namjoon smiled brightly, while Yoongi just gave him a small smile. "I forgive you guys."

"Yay!" Hoseok said, and then jumped into the seat beside him, startling Jungkook. "You look bored as fuck doing maths. Let me show you this new track the three of us have been working on-" Hoseok said, taking his phone out.

"You guys do music now?" Jungkook gasped, grinning. It made him realize he hadn't had a proper conversation with them for months. Random small words exchanged during classes and football practice didn't count.

"Yeah! We rap." Namjoon said, and Jungkook giggled. "Or at least we try to." Yoongi added.

"I'm sure you're great! Let me hear it-" Jungkook said, and then got lost in mindless chatter with the boys.

///

kth_v

240 likes, 80 comments kth_v whats up broski

view comments...

eka11 change the caption instantly

jiminpark hottie thottie

eka11 @jiminpark "straight"

oohsehun wow

kth_v @oohsehun ?

minahearts you look so good 😍

eka11 v is so fucking hot

jeonjungkooks eka thats literally mex

eka11 mine too jungkook u aint special

jiminpark yall weird as fuck

jiminpark but he's hot tho mmm im straight but wow

jeonjungkooks why tf did sehun comment 'wow'

eka11 because he has eyes

jiminpark yah no offence i know u hate v or whatever but like damn must've been fun having sex with him

eka11 it really was

jeonjungkooks yeah

jeonjungkooks anyways u guys are the worst best friends why are you bringing up how good my 'ex' looks when im BOYCOTTING him

jiminpark sorry 👉🏻👈🏻

eka11 was he fun to top

jeonjungkooks i didnt?? top him?? why would i? im a Bottom 😙

jiminpark i know i saw the disposable vaginal douche in the garbage

eka11 omg i use that

jeonjungkooks omg wig

eka11 anyways wbk you're a bottom hows sehun been... is he still like 'fuck me daddy i'll be ur good little boy and take ur fat cock'

jeonjungkooks sehun has never said those words ever in his entire existence in humanity

jeonjungkooks and anyways idk we haven't had sex for a while

jiminpark 👀

jeonjungkooks like it just gets awkward so i just suck him off or something :/

eka11 no offense but why are u still dating him

eka11 he deadass cheated on u lmaooo

jiminpark didnt u cheat on like all of your boyfriends

eka11 this isnt about me

jeonjungkooks because he came over after that whole fiasco and i was crying he kind of comforted me and stuff and kept apologizing he told me that he was scared i dont like him back

jiminpark you dont

jeonjungkooks and idk i just had some fam issues so i was being mean to everyone sorry <3

eka11 its okay bby

eka11 but break up with sehun

jeonjungkooks i dont want to hurt him again! wait he texted me one sec

oohsehun babe there's a spring prom coming up omg lets go! matching clothes and all

jeonjungkooks we'll get bullied

oohsehun true

jeonjungkooks but sure sehunnie <3

oohsehun <3 <3 <3

///

"10-minute water break!" Coach announced, and the boys scurried off the field and towards the benches to go drink water. Taehyung heard him, but didn't care. He glared at the red circle on the goal post in front of him. He needed to hit the target at least once.

Taehyung hit the ball hard, fast. All the boys watched as the ball went straight towards the center of the goal, but missed the target by half an inch. The boys all gasped at how close he was, but Taehyung groaned to himself, crouching down and breathing heavily.

"V go get water. Don't exert yourself," Coach said, and Taehyung grumbled under his breath and stood up to walk over to the benches. The boys were all talking. Taehyung picked his water bottle and squeezed it tightly, squirting the water into his mouth.

"That's what good pussy tastes like."

"God, shut up." Taehyung begged Jackson, who huffed and turned away.

"Are you guys going for that Spring Prom shit?" Yoongi asked the guys, who hummed, some sounding annoyed. "Yeah. My girlfriend's making me. I rather stay in and fuck, but-"

"Tell me about it, bro. Talked to this girl one fucking time and suddenly I'm her boyfriend. She's making me go too. But we might have sex after, so I'm doing it." Another guy said.

"I'm going with Jungkook." Sehun said off-handedly, looking into space. Taehyung ignored how those simple words made it feel like someone straight up STABBED him.

"Dude... y'know ever since I've stopped thinking being gay was weird.... I realized liking dudes isn't much different than liking girls. Like, there are some dudes who are like... hella cute and shit. But I don't wanna date 'em. Y'know?" Jackson voiced. The boys snickered, some grimaced as if saying we don't know.

"You're probably just bicurious." Taehyung mumbled, and the guys looked at him, saw him wiping his sweat off with a towel. "Like you're straight but are into having sex with dudes too."

"Woah. That's a thing? Holy shit, I've been confused as fuck these past few weeks." Jackson gasped, and Taehyung hummed.

Sehun suddenly got up and left. Taehyung ignored him. He heard a gasp. "What does it mean if I like dick in my mouth?"

"You're fucking gay Bambam."

"Would you guys ever hook up with a dude? Like, for experimentation and shit?" Namjoon asked.

Jimin hummed. "Yeah. I wouldn't mind. How do I know I don't like it if I've never tried it?"

"Just like I know I wouldn't like your mom's pussy in my face."

"Fuck you."

"I guess I'd only hook up with a dude if I was really really into him. Not just like that." Mark mumbled, sounding weary.

"What about you, V?" Jin asked, looking at him. Taehyung looked at him, casually. He opened his mouth to speak. Right when he was about to-

"Guys Jungkook got us cookies," Sehun said brightly.

Taehyung didn't hear. "Nah I'd never fuck a dude. That's fucking gay, bro. I'm not into that kind of-"

Jimin coughed VERY loudly. Taehyung turned and saw Jungkook right behind him. Taehyung widened his eyes.

"Oh." Taehyung let out. Jungkook looked in disbelief. Taehyung's breath hitched. "Hey, um-"

"Seriously?" Jungkook asked, voice small. "Still?"

"Jungkook-" Taehyung tried, but Jungkook just snickered humorlessly and then moved away from Taehyung, grabbing Sehun.

"Meet me after practice." Jungkook said softly, and then kissed him on the mouth and turned around by the hell, walking away. Taehyung saw him walking away and sighed.

Jimin walked up to Taehyung after Sehun walked away, oblivious. Jimin looked at Taehyung. "How the fuck do you further fuck up something already so fucked up?"

"I don't know." Taehyung breathed out, and Jimin just shook his head, letting the boy deal with this mess himself. Taehyung saw Jungkook walk off the field as if he was disappointed, but not surprised.

"Boys, back on the field. Last one here has to take 3 laps-" Coach began, and all the boys got up and ran. Taehyung walked slowly, knowing he'd end up doing laps anyway because he stays back after practice to practice more these days.

"Okay boys. We've been target practicing to perfect our kick. And, I'll be honest, ya'll suck." Coach said, and the boys hung their heads low. "Like WOW. None of you hit the target even ONCE."

Taehyung pushed past the group of boys huddled in a circle and faced the open goal post which had the red circle in front of it. Still? Jungkook's words rang in his head. Taehyung saw the ball in front of it, and then took a few steps back.

Taehyung clenched his jaw and locked his ankle, eyes boring into the ball in front of him. He took a chaste step forward, hitting his planter foot to the right of the ball. His foot needed to control how the ball moved, rather than letting the ball control his foot-

Taehyung kicked the ball forcefully, feeling the power gliding smoothly down his calf to his foot as it merged with the ball and sent it spiralling towards the net. It hit the target perfectly.

The boys saw that and started clapping and shouting, some telling the coach that he took the L. Coach watched Taehyung and smirked, and Taehyung turned around and saw the boys.

"You're seriously as good as the pros," Youngjae said excitedly.

"We're so going to win our next match!" Hoseok said, jumping up and down.

Sehun suddenly shouted. Everyone froze and looked at him. Sehun groaned, putting his hands on his face.

"What're you doing, Coach?" Sehun asked, voice low. "Why'd you make me Captain?" Sehun asked wearily. Everyone widened their eyes, and Taehyung tensed.

"You alright kid?" Coach asked, and Sehun shook his head. He shook his head and then reached his hands behind his back and took his jersey off. He took the red material off and then chucked it on the floor.

"I don't want to be captain anymore. Not when V's clearly so much fucking better than me. It's not fair to him nor to the team." Sehun snapped, and Taehyung was frozen, eyes wide.

"Oh." Taehyung breathed out. Sehun was shirtless now, and breathed heavily. "I don't want to take something away from someone if it clearly belongs to them. And the position of Captain clearly belongs to you," Sehun said, and picked his jersey up and handed it to Taehyung.

"This is... really. Really fucking sick, dude." Taehyung said softly, in awe. "Fuck. I could kiss you right now." Taehyung grumbled to himself.

"R-really?" Sehun asked, eyes growing wide, glittering, cheeks turning a bit pink. Taehyung frowned at that.

"What? No. It was a fucking hyperbole- anyways! Thank you, Sehun. But I don't think Coach can-" Taehyung began, and then he heard a groan.

"Come on, coach! V should be Captain again! He's nice now, too! He apologised to Youngjae."

"He did WHAT?! Holy shit, he has changed!" Coach gasped, and then looked at Taehyung, who was gulping. "Look, kid. I have to discuss this with the principal-"

"Becoming Captain would help me get into a good school, coach." Taehyung said softly, hands coiled, eyes big. He reminded the coach of the kid he met four years ago, with ruffled brown hair and big brown saddened eyes, just sticking through because of the determination and passion he had for football.

"Jeez. Okay, um- I'll hold a vote tomorrow. After discussing it with the principal." Coach promised, patting Taehyung's back. "Now get back to practice!"

Taehyung smiled, and looked at Sehun, snickering. "You taking your shirt off was useless, by the way. This jersey has your name on it. Plus I still have my Captain's jersey-"

"It still made the statement though- you can't deny that." Sehun said, and then tugged his jersey back on.

"Thanks." Taehyung mumbled, looking away. He could never looked someone in the eyes while saying something nice to them.

"No problem. Consider it an apology for what I did... before." Sehun mumbled, and then chuckled awkwardly and ran away, flustered. Taehyung sighed to himself, coiling his fists.

I'm in love with your boyfriend, Taehyung wanted to shout out. But he didn't. Instead, he felt something. Certain confident courage he'd always had coursing through his veins.

///

"I'm sorry," Taehyung said two days later to Jungkook, who he found alone in the washroom, standing in front of the mirror.

"I'm not the person you should be apologizing to." Jungkook said softly, and then turned around and walked away- and that was the only interaction they had.

And then two days after that, Taehyung lifted his head up and saw Jungkook standing in front of his food table.

"Yourself. Apologize to yourself." Jungkook stated simply. Taehyung was confused, but Jungkook turned around and left, leaving him like that, with only those few words to hang on by.

The week passed like that. With a certain fog in Taehyung's mind. He thought about what Jungkook said. Apologize to yourself. He didn't quite understand. He wanted to know more, but Jungkook did tell him to leave him alone.

Taehyung saw Jungkook by the lockers and walked up to him, opening the locker beside him (even though it was Yoongi's, but, whatever) and hesitated.

"Why can't things go back to normal?" Taehyung asked aloud.

"I don't know what normal is with you." Jungkook said, and then walked past him. Taehyung closed his locker in front of him, leaning against it and sighing out.

Their next conversation was the night before the prom.

"Will you ever forgive me for hurting you?" Taehyung asked, standing by the water fountain. Jungkook was also by the water fountain, and Taehyung saw his fingers tighten around the ceramic sink.

"I already have." Jungkook breathed out softly, and then leaned down to the water fountain to get water between his pretty lips.

"Why're you with Sehun?" Taehyung asked, puzzled, leaning against the pillar which was attached to the water fountain/

"I like him."

"You don't."

"You sound quite certain for someone who's so shit with their feelings." Jungkook said sharply, and then brought his head up to look at Taehyung, who had a blank expression on his face. "Sorry," Jungkook said quicker, turning around and walking away, again.

The night of the prom arrived.

Taehyung stood in front of his mirror, looking at himself. He was wearing a white shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows, making his veins prominent. Along with that, he wore black trousers. It was simple, but honestly, he was only going because Yoongi promised he'd give him weed after.

He heard a sharp knock on the door. Taehyung was confused as to who would come to his dorm, and opened the door, and saw Eka and Jimin. Taehyung's eyebrow rose at them.

"You guys look good. Shit, is it so fancy?" Taehyung asked, annoyed. Eka was wearing a tight silver dress, short and lifting her boobs up, her eyeliner sharp and lipstick black. Jimin had his hair swept back, showing his forehead. He was wearing a red suit.

"It is. You're not wearing that." Eka said, turning Taehyung around and pushing him into his bedroom.

"I literally don't give a fuck about this prom. I'm single and sad and want to get high." Taehyung protested.

"What the fuck is on your head," Jimin stated while looking up at Taehyung. Taehyung sighed. "It's a Gucci headband. I like wasting my dad's money."

"Understandable. Put this on." Eka said, having opened Taehyung's closet and taken out a black suit jacket. She handed it to Taehyung, who rolled his eyes and shrugged the suit jacket on.

"Here." Jimin said, picking out a Rolex watch from his desk and handing it to him. Taehyung wrapped it around his wrist, and then snickered to himself. "What?" Jimin asked, and Taehyung shook his head.

("You look hot as fuck in a suit." Jungkook said, eyes wide as he wrung his fingers around Taehyung's wrist. "C-can you fuck me with it on?"

"I can and I will.")

"Nothing. Just reminiscing the past." Taehyung said, and Eka huffed. "Dramatic bitch. Now come on." Eka said, walking out of Taehyung's dorm.

"You look hot as fuck, Eka." Taehyung said, putting his hands in his pocket. "In a friend kinda way."

"Thanks. I know." Eka said, and Taehyung snickered. Jimin eyed him and glared. Taehyung rolled his eyes.

They walked to the sports hall, where the Spring Prom was taking place. The student council went overboard with this Prom stuff. Decorating the hallways weeks before. Putting big banners which said 'SPRING PROM!' on them. Announcing it every goddamn day on the speakers.

When they walked into the sports hall, they saw it completely decorated. The sides of the walls were lined with paper mache trees which had pink blossoms on it. It looked pretty. Taehyung couldn't remember what the room looked like before, in fact. The tables on the side were lined with food and drinks. No alcohol, but someone always snuck it in. Teachers stood by the side, talking to themselves and looking around to make sure no one was doing anything wrong. There was a stage against the wall, some music nerds standing on it, playing music for the event. Everyone who went to the school was there, practically. People were dancing, talking with their friends, or just having a good time.

"Wow," Eka murmered, and the three walked into the room, looking around. Taehyung was bored already. "Why'd you guys come to my room by the way? Did you, like, know I was going to underdress?"

"No. You've just been upset for the past few... weeks. We were making sure you were actually coming. Yoongi told us about how he made you believe he had weed-"

"He was lying? Motherfucker. I'm leaving." Taehyung said, turning around sharply. The moment he did, he froze.

Jungkook stood by the entrance, looking around with his big curious eyes. He looked nervous, palpable hesitance showing from his stance. He was wearing a silky white shirt which was tucked into his tight black trousers, accentuating his waist. He wore a floral suit jacket and a choker.

"Wow," Taehyung let out this time, already feeling his insides going weak. Taehyung didn't see Eka and Jimin beside him give each other a knowing look, and then look ahead at Jungkook, who spotted the three.

"Hi!" Jungkook said, smiling and running up to them, looking less tense when he saw them. "Y-you said to meet me by the entrance." Jungkook said softly.

Taehyung wanted to give him a thousand kisses. "Sorry, Kookie. We came in. Doesn't this place look beautiful?" Jimin asked.

"Yeah! They're really going deep with this spring theme thingy," Jungkook giggled. Taehyung wanted to give him a million kisses now.

Jungkook looked at Taehyung, and tensed. Taehyung didn't know why. It was probably his presence. So Taehyung just gave the boy a small smile and turned around to walk away and find the other guys.

Jungkook, meanwhile, let out a small sigh. "He looks so good." Jungkook murmered to himself, voice gentle. "I wish he didn't."

"I know, baby. Don't think about him, okay?" Eka said, and Jungkook nodded. "Where's Sehun?" Eka asked, looking around.

"I'm here, bitches." Sehun said, and Jungkook looked at him and then rose his eyebrows. Sehun was in a bright blue suit and a black shirt and tie, smirking at them.

"Hey babe," Jungkook said to Sehun, who walked over to him, leaning down to kiss his mouth. Jungkook turned his head so Sehun could kiss his cheek instead. Sehun did, and then leaned back, scowling.

"You look... nice." Jungkook said.

"You too." Sehun mumbled. Jimin sighed, breathing out from the heavy tension in the room.

"Wow. Okay- um! Let's dance!"

The four began dancing away. Jennie, Jisoo, Lisa, and Rose joined the four, along with Yugyeom and Bambam. Jimin looked to Rose with a small smile, dancing closer to her. Jungkook was having fun, until he felt his hips being grabbed.

Jungkook got dragged to a body, and then realised Sehun had his chest pressed against his back. "You look pretty." Sehun said, kissing his neck, rolling his hips onto his back. Jungkook smiled at him, dancing back.

Sehun turned the boy around and then grabbed his waist. He reached down, kissing Jungkook's lips. Jungkook pulled away and then looked to the other side so Sehun wouldn't do that again.

"What's wrong?" Sehun asked, frowning. Jungkook shook his head, giving Sehun a smal smile. "Nothing," Jungkook reassured, putting his hands on Sehun's arms.

Jungkook looked to the side and saw Taehyung, leaning again a wall, sulking. Taehyung shifted his eyes around the room and then caught them with Jungkook's. Jungkook felt Sehun tighten his grip on his waist, and Jungkook just looked at Taehyung.

Sehun kissed Jungkook's jaw. "Do you wanna go to my room after this?"

Jungkook saw Taehyung give him a certain look. Jungkook wanted to move his eyes away, but couldn't. Suddenly, he felt a jolt through his body and turned his head, eyes widened when he was pushed back.

"What's your problem?" Sehun snapped, and Jungkook stilled. Sehun looked annoyed, eyes darkened, eyebrows furrowed.

"Nothing! I-" Jungkook began, but then saw his friends looking at the two weirdly. Sehun must've seen the same, because he grabbed Jungkook by the forearm and dragged him out of the sports hall.

Jungkook stumbled after him. "Se-Sehun-" Jungkook said, and then suddenly felt a shift as he moved out of the loud pink lightened room into the dark, vacant hallway. Sehun pulled him till the side and then let him go.

"What is it? You've been weird since we started dating- so fucking on and off. One second you want me, and another you're weirded out and want me to go away. I'm just trying to wrap my fucking head around all this, Jungkook- because- because you say you want me, but-"

"I'm sorry, o-okay? There's just a lot of things that have been going on-" Jungkook stammered.

"Then talk to me about them! I've asked you to at least try and open up to me so many times! But you just refuse to! Is it something wrong with me?" Sehun asked, frowning.

"N-no. No, you're perfect-" Jungkook said softly.

Sehun looked helpless. "Then what is it? Why did you get back together with me if you were going to treat me like shit after? You were so rude to me, and don't even talk to me sometimes when we're with Eka and Jimin. It's really awkward, Jungkook, to pretend I'm alright-"

"I'm sorry!" Jungkook cried out, and then stopped, looking at Sehun with watery eyes. The way Sehun was describing him reminded Jungkook of Taehyung.

"I-I'm sorry for- for being so weird. I just- I-I don't know, Sehun. I want to like you, I r-really do. I just can't fucking get over someone and it's r-ruining everything for me. I'm sorry." Jungkook let out, voice bubbly, as if close to crying.

Sehun tensed, and then looked down at his shoes, gulping a lump in his throat. "It's V, isn't it?"

Jungkook began crying, reaching his hands to his face to stop them, to try his hardest to stop them. Jungkook shook his head. "N-no. I don't- I am over him. I am."

"You like him." Sehun said, looking away. "He likes you too-"

"No Sehun. He d-doesn't. He just wants to have sex with me, that's all-" Jungkook tried, but Sehun snickered, looking away.

"That night. That night when we first had sex. When you left suddenly to comfort V- did you two do anything?" Sehun asked, fingers coiled. Jungkook sniffled. "Because the next day you were all fucking over him-"

"Sehun-"

"So he wants you for sex, huh? And you're still hung over him? Even though you have guys who like you for you?" Sehun asked, and Jungkook looked down, clenching his fists and shutting his eyes. "That's pretty fucking pathetic, Kook."

"I know. Stop telling me, p-please." Jungkook tried, and Sehun tsked.

"I don't want to be rude. You just made me feel so fucking shit for the past few weeks. If you just told me I was a fucking rebound for an asshole-"

"Y-you w-weren't-"

"-I wouldn't have ever asked you out. You probably just did it to make him jealous. I'm so fucking stupid." Sehun muttered under his breath, looking away. "Well, honestly- I don't care much. You're hung over a dude who's probably going to slap you across the face when you say no to him-"

"He wouldn't!" Jungkook cried, tears rushing down his face. Sehun looked at him, pausing. "H-he wouldn't fucking do that! You don't know him, no one does! I don't either, o-okay? I thought I did- I-I thought I knew him, b-but I don't! And I'm still in love with him, i-is that what you want me to tell you?" Jungkook shouted, voice breaking.

"I f-fell in love for a guy who doesn't give ha-half a shit about me. And I'm sorry." Jungkook squeaked out weakly. Sehun let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Jungkook felt the warm tears running down his face and put his hand over his mouth, shoulders trembling.

"I'm sorry. I-I need to go. I'll ask Jimin and Eka to come here-" Sehun said, and Jungkook didn't care, just slid down the wall, sitting down on the floor like the fucking mess he was- tears running down his face.

Jungkook sat there for a bit, crying softly. He felt the same feeling he had back when Taehyung told him he didn't mean anything to him. When Jungkook found him sleeping with Eka, and Taehyung slammed the door in his face. So fucking hurt.

"Kookie," A soft voice came, and Jungkook looked up.

Taehyung had his eyes big, looking at the pretty boy on the floor, tears in his eyes and stains of it weaving a path down his cheeks. Taehyung had one hand in his pocket, heart thudding as he crouched down to face him.

"K-Kookie, you-"

"Don't." Jungkook said, and then closed his eyes. Taehyung didn't push him. He just looked at him. "P-please. Leave me be."

"Not when you're like this, I can't." Taehyung said softly.

"God f-fucking damnit, Taehyung- stop pretending you c-care about me! You'll j-just lead me on to hurt me again. You don't know how I felt for those two months w-we spent together, Tae. You don't. Just. Please go." Jungkook said meekly, sniffling and looking up at the ceiling.

"I-I do care." Taehyung said, but he sounded hesitant, and it made Jungkook chuckle.

"You still think you're straight, Tae." Jungkook let out, voice weak. "You're far from being able to care about me."

Taehyung froze. He looked at Jungkook, who stood up from the floor, eyes slightly red from the tears. Taehyung's breath hitched, and then he let out- "I-I'm so fucking scared, Kookie. I'm not as- as brave as you. I never will be."

"T-then come meet me when you are." Jungkook stated, and then left, leaving Taehyung in the hallway.

Jungkook walked back in the sports hall, probably to tell Jimin and Eka of where he was, they were probably worried. Taehyung tightened his fists. He couldn't describe it. Couldn't describe the absolute fear that reaped through his body at the thought of-

At the thought of what?

Was it of everyone finding out?

Was that what he was afraid of?

Or was it something bigger than that? His mother, his father, what they'd taught him. What his mother had left him with. That fear that he was doing what she would've resented.

But at the fleeting moment, at that split second, that passing of time when the moon glowed outside like a watchful guardian- Taehyung realized. He rose to his feet, standing up. His heart drummed loudly against his chest, as if on beat, heightening his senses and telling him to hurry up. He was running out of time.

Taehyung took a step forward, towards the sports hall. Jungkook. His beautiful eyes, how they looked like they'd been dipped in honey and the core of sunlight. How his giggles sounded like that of harmonious angels. How his smile would always make Taehyung feel so much... better.

Something he hadn't felt since his mother had died. A sense of belonging. Home.

Taehyung walked towards the sports hall and entered it, seeing people still dancing, some chill song playing. Taehyung couldn't find Jungkook. His heart was racing. His anxiety was brimming at the bottom of his stomach.

He felt, at that moment, like he could do anything.

Taehyung felt absolute impulse take him over. Adrenaline started pumping down his body, the same he felt at football matches. This felt like a football match, except the goal was something different, and his aim was fucking terrible.

Taehyung let go. He ran straight forward and jumped onto the stage, startling the dudes in the band. They all looked at Taehyung, who carelessly grabbed the microphone from the lead singer, some kid from the grade below. The kid looked annoyed, but Taehyung mumbled "It'll only take a minute."

The band stopped playing, and everyone groaned, annoyed that the music stopped. Taehyung cleared his throat into the microphone, and then took a deep breath. "Shut up!" Taehyung shouted loudly, and everyone in the room shook.

Everyone went silent and turned to look at him with wide eyes, as if wondering why the fuck he was yelling while standing on a stage. Taehyung looked around, and then spotted Jungkook. The boy was facing away, grabbing his phone and trying to walk over to the exit.

"Wait." Taehyung said, and Jungkook paused and looked at him, a blank expression on his face. He looked annoyed.

Taehyung looked around. "Hi guys." Taehyung said, seeing all these kids he'd seen every day for the past three years. "This- this prom is cool, right? Like the- um- flowers and stuff." Taehyung stammered, and then cleared his throat.

"Okay. Hello. I've never formally introduced myself. Most of you know me as V. Captain of the football team." Taehyung said, and saw Sehun in the back of the room, frowning as well. Taehyung took a deep breath, seeing all the students looking at him with wide eyes. "But- but most of you don't know my real name."

Taehyung gulped. "I'm Taehyung. Kim Taehyung." Taehyung said, and there was a hushed whisper that fell across the room. He'd never said his full name out loud like this.

"Most of you know me as that asshole that bullies you, probably. Fair enough. I've made mistakes. A lot of them." Taehyung said. "I don't expect to be forgiven. I just want you to know I'm trying. And I'm changing, and growth is- is normal. It's normal." Taehyung said, nodding.

Everyone looked confused, still. They wanted to start dancing again, probably. But most actually looked intrigued, never having seen the guy speak more than 3 words at best which weren't insults.

"I'm standing here right now because I made a mistake. A really big one." Taehyung said, shaking his head. "I hurt someone. Badly. I hurt someone over and over again, and I shouldn't have. By the time I realized how much the person meant to me, it was too late." Taehyung mumbled, and everyone looked more confused.

Taehyung looked around, and then spotted Jungkook standing beside his friends, just the hint of confusion on his face. Not like the others, though. A more of disbelief.

Taehyung scratched his head, and then sighed loudly. "God, there's so many of you. I swear it's like the new crop of freshmen are, like, so goddamn small. I was so much taller when I was your age, what the hell-" Taehyung mumbled, and then looked around, hearing some laughs.

"I'm rambling, fuck. Shit! Sorry, forgot I couldn't swear. Ah damn, I swore again. Fuck-" Taehyung began, and then hit his head with the mic, and looked ahead, taking a deep breath.

Fuck it. Nothing matters. Not as much as him. Nothing has ever mattered as much as he has. "I'm sort of in love with someone." Taehyung let out, and there were gasps that spread across the room.

Taehyung couldn't see Jungkook's eyes- didn't want to, in fact. "I'm sort of, really, really fucking madly in love with someone. And that someone is standing here right now, and god-" Taehyung let out a chuckle, covering his face. "You'd never think I'd be the type to- to stand on a goddamn stage in the middle of what looks like actual fairy shit and confess my love to someone, but-"

Taehyung looked ahead, and then found Jungkook. Jungkook had his eyes widened, mouth slightly agape. Taehyung smiled. "You change me." Taehyung said, words soft. "You m-make me... a better version of myself. I'm not mean when I'm with you. I'm not sad. I'm not an asshole. You make me study harder, you make me play harder, you make me... harder." Taehyung said the last part, and then started laughing.

"Shit- I just realised there's, like, 200 other people in here. I'm kidding! Don't have sex till marriage! Or, do. I don't know. Sorry Ms. Yang!" Taehyung said, and everyone started laughing. Fuck, he was going crazy. He couldn't get a hold of himself, but suddenly- suddenly it felt like he was so free. So free, so free from everything that's ever been holding him back-

"You know what else?" Taehyung asked, looking around the room. "I'm bisexual!" Taehyung shouted out, and everyone shut up real fast.

Literally EVERYONE's eyes widened and jaws dropped. Girls he'd slept with looked surprised, guys he'd bullied looked mad, people who didn't know him looked shocked. His own friends looked the most shocked.

"Yeah! I like girls, and I like guys. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like, at all. Wow. Oh my god. I said it out loud." Taehyung let out, whispered. "Fuck, okay. Shit. Yeah. It's out there. I'm bisexual. I'm bi-fucking-sexual. I'm so fucking bisexual. Wow. WOW-"

"Dude. The teachers are gonna cut the sound off any minute. Stop swearing." The lead singer dude whispered, and Taehyung nodded.

"Oh- okay okay. Sorry. No more swearing." Taehyung agreed, and then looked ahead and saw Jungkook standing behind Jimin, looking nervous, eyes wide, hands bunched up into fists.

Taehyung looked around. "I've never spoken so much. I just- I can't believe this. I feel so free, y'know? Like- like I'm high as hell, but sober. Not that I know what being high feels like, Ms. Yang don't worry." Taehyung reassured, laughing.

"Who are you in love with?" A voice shouted from the audience, and Taehyung looked.

Taehyung gulped. He leaned into the mic. "A boy." He whispered, and gasps spread across the room again. Taehyung giggled at how surprised everyone looked. "I'm so in love with him, you guys. He's the prettiest boy in the whole goddamn world. Maybe universe. Haven't seen aliens yet. Actually- scratch that. He's the prettiest boy in the universe."

Jungkook hid behind Jimin properly now, hands covering his face, his whole body trembling lightly. Taehyung gulped. Here goes.

"I'm Kim Taehyung." Taehyung said, voice clear. "I'm bisexual." Taehyung said, and then smiled. "And I'm so goddamn in love with Jeon Jungkook."

People literally started screaming. Jungkook squeaked out in surprise and got pushed out into the center by Jimin and Eka, who both looked thrilled as hell. Jungkook still had his face covered, because everyone was looking at him, eyes wide, mouths wider.

"He's WHAT?!" Yoongi shouted from the side, slapping a hand over his mouth.

"Oh my fucking god." Jin whispered, eyes wide. "Oh my god oh my GOD-"

"Guys someone drugged Taehyung and put him on that stage." Namjoon said. It was the only explanation.

"This is brilliant." Yugyeom whispered, eyes glazed. Bambam grimaced. "I fucking knew it. He always looked at him weird."

Taehyung looked at Jungkook, heart racing rapidly, stomach making a thousand turns a second. "Baby?" Taehyung said softly, not caring how that made everyone go even more in shock. "I-I can see you, you know that, right?" Taehyung chuckled fondly.

Jungkook put his hands down, blushing brightly. His eyes were filled with tears, fists clenched beside him. People had moved out of the way, so there was a clear spacing between the stage and where Jungkook was stood, so the boys could see each other clearly.

"Jeon Jungkook." Taehyung whispered into the mic. "I know- I know I'm the biggest douchebag you ever met. I hurt you. I was an asshole." Taehyung said, suddenly growing fearful. "I'm so fucking sorry, baby." Taehyung said, voice weak.

Jungkook just sniffled from where he was stood, cheeks so pink and fists so tightly clenched that he couldn't speak. Everyone was staring between him and Taehyung in awe, surprised, shocked, just couldn't believe that V, the homophobic fuck boy captain of the football team- was out here passionately declaring his love for a boy.

"R-right before I got on this stage, I thought about how you came out to everyone. Always so ridden by impulse, my Jungkookie," Taehyung said with a small fond smile, and people aww'ed. Jungkook bit his lip, looking down.

"So, I'm going to ask this. I'm really really really fucking scared." Taehyung admitted, and then took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.

Be brave. Taehyung opened his eyes. "Jeon Jungkook?" Taehyung whispered, voice barely coherent. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

https://jeontaeh.tumblr.com/post/647264967393984512/forty