#no myb i hvent fully recovered n no myb i dont want to | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

weather-phenomenon · 1 year ago

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asldkffj tw ed and body weight mention but during the real peak of my ed ofc i envied irl super skinny ppl i saw and then i read this thing abt how some skinny ppl are terminally ill and hate how they look etc and it changed my mind and any time i had envious thoughts i berated myself lolz

#ugh i wanna make a like hyperspecific ed poll #but I'll get glorification death threats #n i'll also get ed followers #neither of which i care for #but like omg sorry you can tlk abt your asd brain in public so why is me talking abt my ed brain glorification #and if it is what's so wrong with tht huh ugh whatever #but yh inwas tht ed bitch who binged watched ALL of superfat superskinny aldkfjffnf #thinking back to tht is so crazy bc like wtf the show is gross akskdjfjfnfn #also the fact tht i hate watching things yet i did tht cri #also i realized like all my fav visual media is ed shit which i can nvr tlk abt?#i think it's also the most media ive consumed in general #but like cant drop my fav movie is to the bone in a convo #but also why tf not #eds are still so stigmatized it's insane #on one hand i get it bc it's like rather very easy to devlop depending on the person #n u never know who's brain may secretly be predisposed to tht #but also like i wish i cld just tlk abt my ed experiences without being so problematic #and outside of the active current ed community #bc my ed n very ed behavior is really in my past #no myb i hvent fully recovered n no myb i dont want to #but also im not the 14/15 yr old who's gonna binge superfat superskinny n do jumping jacks till them hurt their both ankles lolz #like idk it's just like it happens it happened it's my xp ugh #it's also the one mental illness my family knows i suffered with even tho they ignore it lol n i nvr admit it #it's also the one xp in my life i can imagine being like an advocate abt?#idk it's kind of a drive u crazy lonely xp esp where i live ppl just dont kno it's so complex it's ugh #i hv written the most beautiful poetry abt it #like i finished two collections on it???#yh i glorify(ied) it as a muse n no i dont want to heal but no im nopvr gonna glorify it to others but yes i #id like to tlk abt my xps with it #cloud nonsense

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