#no matter what this dumbass show may indicate

[try-set-me-on-fire]

The thing about it is that I watch 911/Dr Odyssey/Grey’s Anatomy with most of my household now and when 911 is bad you’re embarrassing me in front of my family. Tim. Tim can you hear me

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

Moments of Stupidity 15

Okay, so, the episode was kind like Queen Bee to my surprise, there wasn't a lot I found. Anything I thought was stupid was more on a writing standpoint than anything and we all know by now the common criticisms of the writing. Since I just intend to list the moments of stupidity directly affecting the plot of an episode, then I guess here's what I got

Midseason Special -

(Yeah, I'm not putting the entire title, can't remember it all)

Anyways, Arick was definitely an idiot. It was like Chaz, though. It felt like he was supposed to be stupid because he was supposed to be that creepily obsessed fan. Plenty of those kinds of people are way too stuck up and full of themselves to really think all that straight. And Arick was definitely stupid that way when having a gun pointed at him and even shoved into his mouth yet was still mouthing off Fizzarolli

Then there's when the obsessed dumbass decided to just barge into Fizz's dressing room even though he should remember that Fizz had a bodyguard. Not to mention, Ozzie was there with him. Ozzie, weakest sin or not, would have fucking destroyed Arick in a heartbeat. Even if Ozzie wasn't around at the time, it's not like Ozzie would have left Fizz alone for long, not with how protective he is over his lover

I'm thinking a stupid moment goes to Ozzie, too, because all he ever does in the face of a situation of knowing that his lover's being treated like shit is trying to Fizz out of it and even wanting Blitz to be there for backup or whatever. Yeah, it was good that he did something, but the problem was that he's supposed to be Mammom's equal in terms of power and influence but I never got any indication that Ozzie ever used his position to help Fizz out. If Fizz would hate that, then no. His safety and well-being in this case should matter a shit ton more than his opinion

Oh, and there's the mute kid's parents or guardian, as well as those of any other kid who showed up to the contest in this episode. Considering that Fizz was in a provocative leotard and had cream pie splattered all over him, then why the fucking hell would children be allowed there? Sure, I may have liked the mute kid but I wouldn't want him at a clearly adult talent show. The youngest it should have been is teenage years

[brotherhoodoftheblade]

YESSS! There's literally nothing about OL anymore that's more interesting to me than thinking about things from Percy's POV. lol (Note to self: please get back to the Percy fic writing business! 🙏)

He must've been unbelievably nervous to finally see John again, especially considering he knew all too well how obstinate he could be. It just made Percy's unflappable manner all the most impressive - and dare I say, sexy af. 🔥 Meanwhile it was John who was rattled throughout - breaking his wine glass and then pretending he didn't, losing his shit at Percy's mere mention of Isobel and William and threatening to shoot him in head (wtf John?! man's clearly spent way too much time in Jamie's company and the American wilderness if he leaps to such caveman manners so easily :P), and finally just storming the eff out of his own room. 🤣

(I wonder how long Percy continued to sit there drinking wine, waiting to see if John would come back and order him out - but of course, like the little coward John turns into around Percy, he didn't go back. xd)

Although Percy could've seen John much earlier if he'd really wanted to (and I find it very intriguing that he chose not to), all signs indicate that he's always known where John was and what was going on with his life. It's pretty funny the way Percy often seems to know exactly where John's staying no matter which city he's in; he's like the most benign stalker ever. LOL

John also mentioned having been close on "Beauchamp's" trail a few times back during his Black Chamber days but having always been eluded in the end. Fascinating to think of the years where Percy was unknowingly his "opposite number", where they may even have been after the same objective for England and France and therefore running around in the same cities trying to carry them out. The fact that Percy always managed to give John the slip is just another instance of him proving to be the sharper spy. lol Though, of course, Percy had a slight advantage once he discovered "Buttercup's" true identity because he knows John so well.

Also, even when Percy uncovered "Buttercup's" true identity back then I bet he kept the knowledge from the other members of the Secret du Roi -- he wouldn't have wanted to risk putting John in further danger.

Again, I love the way Percy's quietly abiding love and concern for John shines through even as he balances it with looking after himself. And also the self-control he demonstrated in resisting the urge to see John so he could carry out his mission, because it must've been so difficult for him to be so close to John and yet choose not to see him. The yearning must've been terrible, yet he showed himself to be made of much sterner stuff in the face of terrible yearning than John ever did.

Percy is just as strong-minded as John in his own understated way. His heart and his emotional resilience have always been his greatest strength. ~

(Self-possession is a quality I deeply admire in a person, as well as find extremely attractive, so I love to see it. <3 Someone who turns into a goddamn doormat in the face of love/lust - like John with Jamie - begins to grow increasingly contemptuous to me over time. (Like, Christ, self-respect, man!! LOCATE IT!)

So I absolutely adore the all character growth Percy went through in his years off-the-page (GOD I'm dying to write all that! lol). I mean, he was relatable AF to me already in BotB (far more than any of the other male characters), but his characterization in Books 7&8 just deepened by love for him as a character even more. Which is why his appalling treatment in Bees just turned me f*cking feral. 💀)

(I'm also firmly convinced that had that clusterfuck with Weber not happened Percy would've broken up with John eventually, because he's a great romantic, yes, but it's also tempered with practicality. Love wouldn't have turned him to a complete f*cking self-sacrificing dumbass like it did with John. 🙄

Percy would've made himself look the futility of his relationship with John in the eye, no matter how much it pained him, and reached a point when he'd have decided enough was enough because he was never going to get the kind of love he needed from John while he was holding his heart in reserve for another man. He'd have let John down easy and wished him well, and continued living his life despite his heartache. Because THAT is the kind of strength and courage Percy's always possessed, that John seems to lack.)

I feel like there’s a lot of talk about how unexpected it was for John to see Percy again in Echo, but we don’t talk enough about how it must have been for Percy to actually know that he was about to see John again for the first time in nearly 20 years.

I mean, Percy probably never thought he would get the chance of seeing John again until the opportunity came up. Sure, he knew John was Buttercup (lol sorry this alias is so unserious), but interacting with him in person is a very different thing.

Can you imagine all the anticipation? How he must have played out the scenario in his head over and over again? What would be the first thing he would say to John? How much John would’ve changed in all those years? And most importantly… how would John react upon seeing him again?

He must have been extremely nervous and somehow still managed to keep a very self-assured manner (undoubtedly the result of the improvement he had in his own self confidence during those 20 years), because he knew John wouldn’t be pleased and wouldn’t treat him in a good-hearted way.

[abyssruler]

THE ADEPTI’S GUIDE ON HOW TO NOT CATCH FEELINGS FOR THE STRANGE MORTAL WHO HAS A MASSIVE CRUSH ON YOUR PSEUDO-DAD

step two: should step one fail

pairing: xiao x fem!reader

summary: ever since you were a child, you had sworn to everyone you’ve ever met that one day you’re going to marry rex lapis, and never once has your resolve wavered. so why is your heart suddenly doing gymnastics whenever that weird adeptus fellow shows up?! he should be helping you get with rex lapis, not trying to be cute with that little happy face he makes as he takes a bite off the almond tofu you made him!

note: fem!reader, slight crack, comedy, reader is a dumbass and xiao is moronsexual that’s it that’s the fic, lumine and hu tao being wingmen, every playable character in liyue appears at some point, reader is the biggest rex lapis simp, and no you don’t know that zhongli is rex lapis

series masterlist

previous step

You were eleven when you first heard of the Vigilant Yaksha.

It was Xinqiu with his nose always in a book who told you about him, one of Rex Lapis’s most loyal adepti.

“Why’s he called a vigilante?” He sounded like one of those delinquents from the elders’ tales to keep children from being unruly. Not that it ever stopped you from doing what you wanted.

“Vigilant,” Xingqiu corrected you without looking up from his book. “And it’s said that he is one of the reasons why Liyue remains at peace in this era. The remains of the gods slain by Rex Lapis during the Archon war left residues that preyed on the people of Liyue. There were originally five great yakshas, but now only one remains.”

“Huh,” was all you could say at the time. “That’s kinda sad.”

“It is very sad. Legends say he will continue to be tormented by the weight of the gods’ residue until the end of his time.”

You rolled your eyes at his dramatics. “Geez, you sound so ominous. How about you stop reading and actually help me with picking which one of these cor lapis is the real deal, nerd.”

“None of these are real. The merchant is trying to scam you.”

“What?!” You turned a glare to the fraud of a merchant who had the guts to deny that his wares were fake.

And the matter of the Vigilant Yaksha was put out of your mind, never lingering on the tale of the lonely adeptus—at least, not until nine years later when you’re sitting on the base of Rex Lapis’ statue that’s covered in the blood of a stranger.

✧

There is someone attempting to restore the Geo Archon’s statues to its former state. A clumsy attempt in Xiao’s eyes, looking at the pile of leaves beneath a tree and the water marks left on the stone, a clear indication of it being left out to dry in the air instead of being wiped dry.

A child’s work.

He has no qualms about resting his back to it and letting its healing power wash over him, uncaring of the dirt in his clothes that clings to the statue once he leaves.

The rain will wash it away and erode any lingering impurities. Whoever thought they should be cleaning the statues would do well to remember that.

✧

Within the next few months, he finds that every statue he comes upon is bereft of any lingering dust that the wind may have brought.

All of them except that of the ones in Jueyun Karst and the Chasm have been cleaned, and with every visit Xiao makes, he finds that each statue is in a better state than the last he saw it.

There’s a sense of appreciation that hadn’t been there when he first saw the clumsy attempt at cleaning them. It’s… not unpleasant to see such improvements.

✧

His Lord’s statues have never been in such good conditions since before the Cataclysm.

In a way, he is grateful for whoever is taking time from their day to do such a thing. But the change doesn’t warrant more than a passing thought, fleeting just as quickly as it arrived.

There are much better things to do than linger upon whoever mortal has deigned to clean the area.

✧

He finds a lone bracelet in the grass beside Rex Lapis’ statue.

It’s pure, uncharacteristic impulsivity that makes him crouch to the ground and take the thin accessory in his hand. Up close, he sees that it’s a tiny rendition of Morax’s Exuvia intricately carved in wood. Xiao has never had much of an eye for commerce like the other Adepti, but he knows enough to tell that this bracelet is expensive.

…And well loved, if he interprets it correctly from how worn the wood seems from multiple uses.

A quick scan of his surroundings show no sign of anyone else but him, and with how polished the statue beside him looks, perhaps his guess of the owner of this bracelet being the one who routinely cleans the statues is correct.

It’s odd for him to put great care into finding a good spot to leave the bracelet in, to make sure it remains dry should it rain and doesn’t get blown away by the wind.

But perhaps it’s his own way of showing his gratitude to whoever owns it.

✧

(“I told you it’d still be there!” A fifteen year old you yells in delight when you catch sight of your lost bracelet wedged underneath Rex Lapis’ large hand. Someone must have put it there, and you being the delusional person you are, you send a quick prayer of thanks to your future husband for protecting your stuff.

Hu Tao pretends to stroke an invisible beard. “Hmm, how strange. Maybe someone hid it there for you.”

“It was Rex Lapis, I just know it! This is his way of saying he appreciates all I’ve been doing for him!”

Never let it be said that you lacked imagination.)

✧

Xiao catches himself putting more distance between him and the statue whenever he goes to heal, knowing how filthy he gets after a long night of battling monsters and demons.

It’s a strange notion that leaves him quite baffled and unsure why he does so when he’s never cared to sully the statue with dirt in the past.

This change, however, isn’t… unwelcome.

✧

It isn’t until he’s blowing away fallen leaves using anemo that he realizes he might have spent too much time lingering on the fact that a faceless mortal is cleaning his Lord’s statues.

He spends a whole week hunting down monsters to compensate for his transgression against his duty.

✧

(“The wind is on my side! Do you see how spotless the grass is, Chongyun? You wish you were able to sweep like that!”

He sighs at your dramatics, internally grateful that he doesn’t have to be forced into sweeping another pile of dead leaves for the nth time this month.

You bring your hands up in a prayer. “Thank you, Lord Barbatos. This is clearly a blessing from the thousand winds of your approval of mine and Rex Lapis’ future marriage. You’re welcome to be the officiator in our wedding.”

Chongyun blanches at your blatant direspect of another nation’s archon. You, however, see nothing wrong with inviting a few of Rex Lapis’ archon friends over to your wedding. The more the merrier!

Venti laughs himself silly and sends a mental apology to Morax’s adeptus for taking credit for his actions.)

✧

The next time Xiao visits one of the statues, he sees a piece of cor lapis lying on the base of the statue.

Correction—he sees what seems to be a piece of cor lapis but is actually a crystal that has the same shade as cor lapis.

He doesn’t know whether it’s pity, indignation, or bafflement that makes him do what he does next after he realizes that the fake cor lapis must have been an offering for Rex Lapis.

With his near-indestructible jade spear, he cleaves a piece of cor lapis from the ground and replaces the fake one with the authentic one he personally mined with his own hands.

It doesn’t hit him how uncharacteristic his actions were until he’s standing at the top of Wangshu Inn’s balcony, eyes blinking rapidly and brows furrowed over why he did such a thing.

…It must have been the weight of his karmic debt affecting his judgment. He’ll have to rectify that immediately.

✧

(When you come to pick up the cor lapis you won from the market the other day, you’re surprised to see that it slightly changed in appearance.

Naturally, you think it’s a sign from Rex Lapis himself, which is what pushes you to suggest drinking with Hu Tao on her sixteenth birthday as celebration.

The same cor lapis is then offered to the Rite of Descension that very same day. “Rex Lapis, will you marry me?”

Xiao would have never replaced the fake cor lapis with a real one had he known what it was going to be used for.)

✧

Lately, he has noticed how his Lord seems to be in high spirits, a feat not seen since a century ago when wild glaze lilies were found blooming on the outskirts of Cloud Retainer’s abode.

It isn’t his place to ask questions, merely watch over as his dutiful shadow. Rex Lapis hums beneath his breath as he painstakingly brews a tea Xiao knows not the name of, the aroma of it lingering in the air and leaving a hint of vanilla and something else.

It seems, however, that he doesn’t need to voice out any questions or concerns after all. His Lord is all too happy to share what has been on his mind to have him in such a good mood.

“Has Ping told you of the child who once asked me to marry her?”

His head snaps up so quickly, had he not been an adeptus, he would have suffered vertigo, eyes wide at the audacity of someone daring to offer marriage at none other than the Geo Archon.

Said archon laughs at his reaction. “Cloud Retainer acted much the same as you did after young Ganyu told her of the event.” He offers Xiao a cup of tea, which he takes out of habit than any real desire to drink it. “Judging by your reaction, am I right to assume that Ping has not told you?”

Xiao stares into his murky brown tea to avoid Rex Lapis’ all-knowing eyes. “I have not been able to accept her offers to have tea in some time.”

A few decades, more like. He prepares himself for the soft admonition about taking opportunities such as having tea to rest from his duties, even for a little while.

Relief fills him when Rex Lapis merely tells him of the human girl he has been so amused with.

“It was a chaotic affair that happened about three years ago. I do believe Ping laughed heartily after she heard of it. I certainly haven’t been offered marriage in a long time,” he stares into his tea, something melancholic lingering in his eyes. “A long time…”

Xiao remains quiet, knowing not to disturb him in moments when he loses himself in past memories. Rex Lapis moves his gaze to him after a moment’s pause, the smile returning to his lips.

“You will like her, should you meet. A little eccentric, but she is a very kind and lively child, though I suppose she can hardly be called a child now.” He sips his tea, eyes closing in rumination. “Ah, how fast time flies...”

✧

His enemies were strong, stronger than the usual monsters that become afflicted with the old gods’ residues.

Covered in blood and viscera, the weight of his limbs and the exhaustion threatens to bring him to his knees. Xiao has never felt so weak in his life. The Lantern Rite is coming soon and the dead gods are more active and vicious. It is a difficult job, but a necessary burden he will have to carry alone.

He leans on his spear, relief coursing through him once the statue of his Lord comes into view.

The cool, smooth stone is a blessing to his feverish skin after he collapses upon the dais of the statue. He can feel the blood clinging to him like a second skin smearing on the stone. Even in his pitiful state, he still has enough sense to be apologetic for dirtying the statue.

He’ll wipe it down after an hour’s rest. He just needs to close his eyes, only for a moment. He’ll make sure to leave everything spotless so he doesn’t put more work into whoever cleans each statue.

Xiao wants to rest for a bit. He knows it’s not his place to want something, but a few minutes is all he needs.

Just… a few moments of peace.

…

Not even a second after he closes his eyes does the wind tell him of someone’s arrival. His eyes snap to the source of the sound, mouth parting to warn whoever it is to leave.

You beat him to it.

“Damn it! Do you know how hard it is to keep that statue clean?! Go bleed out somewhere else!”

He blinks, and only then does he notice the bucket in your hand and the broom on the other.

Oh.

It’s you.

Xiao doesn’t know what he expected of the person who has been keeping maintenance of his Lord’s statues for years, but it certainly wasn’t you—messy, unbrushed hair, rumpled clothes, and the unmistakable Morax bracelet he remembers from half a decade ago hanging from your wrist.

A mix of lethargy and confusion makes his mouth move before he can stop it.

“You’re young.”

✧

Something in you snaps when you hear those ironic words coming out of this weirdo’s mouth.

“Young? Young?” You drop the bucket and the broom you borrowed from Xiangling to the ground, pointing rudely at his face. “Speak for yourself! You look like you’re barely old enough to be out of school!”

Then, as an afterthought, you add, “And I just turned twenty about two weeks ago, which means I’m not a teen anymore! I bet you’re not even sixteen yet, shorty!”

Okay, that was an exaggeration. He at least looked about your age, but the height remains to be decided, seeing as he’s currently sitting and bleeding all over the statue you consider as one of the most important wonders of the world, second only to Rex Lapis himself. The pose, the mysterious hood, that very inviting lap, the way he’s shirtless—

Not the time to get lost in fantasies!

The stranger doesn’t say anything to rebuke your claims, only staggering to his feet with the support of that intimidating spear of his.

You watch him turn to the statue, swaying slightly.

“What are you…” you trail off, eyes wide at the sight in front of you.

Using the long piece of cloth at the sleeve of his arm, he holds it aloft and brings it to the base of the statue. One scrub isn’t enough to remove the blodstain, so he goes to wipe at it again. And again, and again, and again.

It isn’t clean. His actions only succeeded in smearing the blood all over the place. Like a child attempting to fix its mistake. It’s clear to you that this guy probably has no idea what he’s doing but…

You see the way he’s leaning on that spear for dear life, exhaustion lining his shoulders. There are scratches lining his arms and even a few on his face that you didn’t notice earlier.

All this, and yet he’s still scrubbing at that stain just because you mentioned how hard it was to keep it clean.

Oh.

Oh no.

Guilt hits you like a boar running straight towards the nearest sign of life.

“Hey…” you start, raising your hands and approaching him hesitantly. “There’s really no need to do that. I was just kidding, you know…”

He suddenly stops, letting his weight rest against the statue before leaning away and dropping his now blood covered sleeve. There’s a shallow intake of breath before he half turns to you.

“I shall take my leave then.”

A sort of black miasma starts forming around him as he turns away. He eases himself from his spear, preparing to leave.

Panicked and guilt-ridden, you take a moment to contemplate your choice of actions before promptly throwing rationality out the proverbial window—because when has being rational ever helped? (Chongyun would, of course, say that being rational is the solution to everything, but the day you willingly listen to his advice is the day he willingly eats Jueyun Chillies. Which is never.)

You proceed to throw the concept of stranger-danger and personal space into the abyss as you take a hasty step forward and grab ahold of his bloody arm to keep him from leaving.

“Wait!”

His head snaps to you, eyes wide and startled by the sudden contact and proximity.

You feel his muscles tense beneath your fingers (and wow, he has some really hard pecs). Your hand retracts itself as quickly as it latched onto his arm, plastering an awkward but reassuring smile on your lips. “Sorry, sorry! Didn’t mean to startle you!”

He frowns. “Do you need my assistance?”

You direct an incredulous look his way. “Assistance? You’re the last person who should be asking me that. In fact, I should be the one who’s asking that! You look like you’re about to fall over and die any second now!”

At your words, his grip on the spear visibly eases, shifting his body and attempting to look casual even though you know he probably feels like the abyss just swallowed then vomited him out. He looks at you in an attempt to be nonchalant, as if to say, see? I’m not about to keel over any time soon.

Does he think he’s fooling anyone when he’s clearly covered in blood from head to toe?

The tiny, evil, but trying to be helpful part of your brain tells you to just leave him be. More clients for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor means more profit for Hu Tao means you can mooch off her when you’re out of money.

You physically slap yourself for even forming that thought.

Oh, what would Rex Lapis think of his future wife leaving a citizen of Liyue to die when you were perfectly capable of helping?

That’s it, your resolve hardens, you’re going to help this guy get back on his feet whether he likes it or not.

(And then Rex Lapis will see how benevolent you are and decide then and there that he will marry you. In fact, he’ll insist that he’ll plan the whole thing! Of course, you’re gonna say no because you’ve had your wedding planned out since you were seven years old, down to the type of flowers that will be used to the music being played and the guests! He’ll be so moved by your initiative that he’ll impulsively gift you a mansion that’s entirely made out of mora, saying how sorry he is that he put off answering your proposal for so many years, and then—)

The stranger is looking at you like you’ve grown two heads.

Oh. Right.

You place both hands on your hips and grin, ignoring the stinging of your cheek from when you slapped yourself earlier.

“Today is a very lucky day for you! I don’t usually do these kind of things, but I can’t just let someone go when they clearly need my help!” You move to grab his arm, only to retract your hand when you see him lean away from you. “Hey, now, I’m trying to help. Don’t be stubborn and come sit right, uhh, here!”

You point to the spot in the grass beside the statue, safe and, most importantly, will not put the statue at risk of getting more bloodstains.

He looks at you the same way your neighbor’s cat does whenever you bring it food. Completely unimpressed.

“Aw, c’mon! Don’t look at me like that, you’re hurting my feelings here. It’s not that bad, see?” To prove your point, you sit criss cross on the grass, patting the spot beside you in invitation.

There’s a moment’s pause where the two of you remain staring at each other in a convoluted form of a staring contest.

The winner is, of course, you.

He sighs like conceding to you is the most arduous thing he’s ever done. The spear disappears in a burst of constellations, something you’re all too happy to see gone—also a bit jealous because how did he do that. Maybe you can pester him about it after you’re done with filling in your daily quota of good deeds for the day.

He—and you just realized you still don’t know his name—sits down beside you slowly, in a way that reminds you of how the grandpas at Qingce village lower themselves to the ground to tell a story to the younger kids. Like their backs are gonna break with one wrong move. It’s probably not too far off the mark with this guy considering how beat up he looks.

He settles beside you with a barely hidden frown like he wants to be anywhere but here. Geez, talk about ungrateful. It’s not like you’re forcing him to be here or whatever—but, well, you kind of are forcing him to be here. But it’s not like he can sue you for making him stay without his consent, can he?

…You’ll ask Yanfei about it later.

“So,” you start, placing both elbows on your knees and leaning forward, “How are you feeling? Dizzy? In pain? Nauseous? If it’s the last one, you better tell me straight away ‘cause I won’t be cleaning anyone’s puke, injured or not.”

He continues to stare at you with those piercing eyes of his. A bit unsettling. They look like they’d glow in the dark like a cat’s.

And then, “You are a very peculiar human.”

“Huh?”

It takes you a few seconds of rapid blinking to realize that yes, he said it in a completely serious tone, and no, you didn’t mishear, he did call you human.

“Is that your way of saying I’m weird?” You scrunch your nose at his strange way of talking. “Also, don’t refer to me as human. That’s weird. You sound like that star-guy who hangs around Dihua Marsh pretending to be an adeptus.”

An affronted look crosses his face. “Fashioning himself as an adeptus? Tell me the name of this mortal and I shall teach him not to tarnish the name of Rex Lapis’ adepti.”

You sit there, stunned in the aftermath of his words. They keep repeating in your head like a mantra, playing on loop. But the one thing that sticks out to you is the forbidden R and L words that your friends have learned not to mention out of the blue unless they want to incite a rabid reaction from you.

But this guy, this guy sounds like he deserves to be in a nuthouse…

You grin.

He’s just like you!

Filled with excitement at the sudden revelation, you grab his arm with both hands tightly. The fact that he looks like he’s one step away from death is the only thing restraining you from rattling him in elation.

With a look that Hu Tao would have described as manic, you lean close and yell, “Are you an avid follower of Rex Lapis too?!”

He shifts to put a bit more space between you, but he’s not escaping your claws anytime soon. The moment he mentioned Rex Lapis, all hope for him was lost.

A frown is directed your way, but it doesn’t hinder you in the slightest.

“C’mon! It’s rare for me to find someone else as passionate about this as you! I have a radar for this, I know you’re a believer, and with those amulets that I’m pretty sure are real adepti stuff… tell me,” your eyes take on a serious glint, tone lowering to an almost whisper like what you’re about to say is of utmost importance, “Do you know what his favorite color is?”

(Xiao is baffled and confused. In all his years roaming Liyue’s lands, never has he encountered a mortal as strange and bizarre as you. Never mind one who’s able to stand within his presence and not feel even the slightest unease due to the weight of his karma.

Helpless as he is to your relentless advance and unwilling to use his strength to leave with the possibility of hurting you in the process, he can do nothing but sit and take it all without complaint. For once in his life, he hasn’t the faintest clue on what to do in this situation.

He hopes his Lord won’t take offense to him revealing something about him to this strange mortal. Though he reasons that Rex Lapis would hopefully not mind since you were the one who’s been cleaning the statues.)

“Blue.”

You suddenly reel back like you’ve been slapped, the grip you had on his arm loosening enough that he can escape should he wish it.

(Strangely enough, he finds that he doesn’t want to leave just yet.)

“Blue?” you repeat his answer, eyes dazed like the world has betrayed you and everything you’ve ever known has just been proven wrong. You turn back to him with betrayal. “You’re a fake.”

“…What?”

You fully release his arm from your hold and instead cross your arms, frowning at him in disappointment. “I said, you’re a fake. Everyone knows Rex Lapis’ favorite color is gold like mora!”

(Xiao has never felt such exasperation towards a human being in centuries.)

You watch as he furrows his brows, lips twitching downwards like he’s displeased. He even had the audacity to look at you like you’re in the wrong when it’s clear that it’s him who’s wrong!

“You…” He sighs and shakes his head. “Humans these days have no respect for the adepti.”

Oh, Rex Lapis…

You were wrong—only, you were wrong about him!

He wasn’t just a nutcase, he was so much worse than that! Even worse than you!

This guy is the clean cut definition of delusional.

(You deliberately ignore the fact that that is exactly how most people see you.)

You burst out laughing. “What the heck are you on about? You, an adeptus? I have more chances of becoming the Geo Archon than you being one of the adepti! Hah, you’re such a funny guy.”

Minutes pass.

He doesn’t join in on the laugh.

He remains sitting beside you, watching you with the most piercing and intimidating eyes you’ve ever seen.

Slowly, your laughter starts to die down.

Your eyes rake over him, lingering on that weird amulet he has, the vision on his arm, and the mark on his forehead which definitely does not look like a tattoo.

Was he actually being serious?

You blink dumbly. “Are you for real?”

He looks at you as if you’re the stupidest person in Teyvat.

And, okay, he does have reason to look at you like that. His clothes are very adepti-ish. Those little ornaments—aside from the amulet—must be adepti trinkets. Maybe. You’re not really sure since you’ve never seen one before. And, of course, can’t forget that weird mask by his hip. If you look at him and tilt your head thirty-five degrees to the left, he does kinda-sorta-maybe look like an adeptus.

Honestly though, you just thought he was a very enthusiastic adepti fan. You’ve met many of those weirdos through your time exploring Liyue, but none have ever had the guts to actually claim they were adepti. Except that one guy you mentioned earlier to him. You can’t really recall much because you left the moment he started doing some sort of strange dance ritual meant to banish the evils in your mind…

Like you said, weirdos.

But he doesn’t look like a lunatic. A little weird (like you), but he doesn’t look like he’s about to start dancing in circles and chant unintelligible words to cleanse your soul or some other nonesense. In fact, he looks like he might just strangle you if you so much as breathed a word of your previous thoughts to him.

You’ve heard that adepti usually think themselves better than humans, and while he hasn’t said anything explicitly bad about you (well, aside from calling you weird), he does look like he’s got a stick up his butt, even looking like death as he does right now.

Huh, maybe he is an adeptus.

It’s then that you notice the black sort of smoke that’s coming out of his open wounds. They’re near invisible due to the thinness of the scratches, but the sight of them are enough to have you rethinking your entire life’s decision.

“You are a most odd and vexing human.”

You huff, unwilling to take that lying down, adeptus or not. “Well, maybe you should’ve started off with saying you’re an adeptus. And I’ve been called worse things, you’re gonna have to do better than that.”

He doesn’t reply.

Whatever, two can play at that game. You resolve not to talk to him either unless he talks first.

…You last about a minute before your mouth decides to have a mind of itself.

“So,” you start, attempting to sound casual and totally not like you were laughing at him three minute ago for saying he was an adeptus and—spoiler alert!—him actually being one. “Blue, huh?”

He doesn’t say anything for a few moments that you’re almost convinced he’s never gonna talk to you again.

Just as you were on the verge of praying forgiveness to Rex Lapis for insulting one of his adepti, he speaks.

“Like glaze lilies.” There’s a faraway look in his eyes, an almost solemn air about him.

You, however, have no concept of social awareness.

“Then who the heck spread that information that Rex Lapis’ favorite color is gold?!”

He seems to collect himself, stepping away from the sort of trance he’d been in and crossing his arms. “Humans are prone to spreading disinformation and false narratives for their own gain. You shouldn’t believe everything you hear.”

Well, you suppose you had that coming for you. Xingqiu did always say you were too gullible for your own good. The amount of times you got scammed in the markets was enough to have your wallet begging for you to stop shopping.

“That’s true, I guess… but glaze lilies? Really?” You’re still a bit skeptical on that one. Maybe if you were talking about Lady Ningguang’s favorite color and not Rex Lapis’, you would have easily believed him. But it’s hard to find a connection between Rex Lapis and glaze lilies.

“I have already revealed enough by telling you that. I won’t entertain anymore questions,” he delivers this in a no-nonsense tone.

So he’s one of those guys who won’t cave no matter how much you pester them.

“Alright fine.” You sulk for a bit before remembering your true agenda for inviting him to sit beside the grass with you. “Oh, Archons, I forgot! I was supposed to help you!”

Just as you finish saying that, he stands up like he’s done with the conversation, completely ignoring you. “I don’t require help. Being near the statue is enough to heal shallow wounds.”

“What?! It can do that?” You scramble to push yourself off the ground and follow him as he takes a step closer to the statue.

He nods. “There is a power within it that revitalizes any traveler who happens upon it.” He levels you with a look. “Your help, while in good faith, is not needed.”

You’re too preoccupied with touching the cool stone of the statue reverently to take much heed of his last sentence. “Woah, so that’s why I always feel great after cleaning them up!”

(Xiao startles at the casual admission, of revealing yourself as the person who’s behind the improvement of the statues’ state for the past decade.

It goes unnoticed by you.)

You turn to him with a smile. “So does this mean you’re all okay now?”

(There is fatigue lingering in him, weighing his limbs down in a way that makes it difficult to stand straight. He will not admit this to anyone.)

Relief fills you when you see him nod. Great! Now you don’t have to do much except clean the blood off the stone!

You set to work on picking up the bucket filled with water, lathering a sponge with soap, and proceeding to scrub away at the statue. Smugly, you note how you’re doing a much better job at cleaning it than your new adeptus friend did earlier.

…Not that it’s much of a feat since it was clear he had no idea what he was doing, but details!

You feel his eyes on your back, watching you work your magic on the stone surface of the statue. Talk about creepy, can’t he start a conversation or something?

Fine, guess you’ll have to do everything by yourself.

“Since we’re best buddies now, what’s your name?” You then introduce yourself, not including the little detail of being Rex Lapis’ future wife. That can come later.

“Xiao.”

“Xiao, huh? I know at least three other people with the name Xiao. What’s yours spelled with?”

He sighs but still tells you what line strokes are used to write his name and the meaning behind it.

You laugh and say whoever thought up his name must have been a real nerd.

He vehemently corrects you and says how wrong you are in a very grumpy tone.

Thus, marks the beginning of a wonderful friendship (at least, in your eyes it is).

✧

Xiao hasn’t felt such ease when speaking to another person who isn’t his Lord.

You aren’t without fault. Much too loud, too trusting, too judgmental, too crass, too impulsive, too reckless. You possess every trait he would have disliked in any other person—and yet.

You also laugh a lot, and smile a lot, and joke and banter and are unafraid to tell him how wrong he is straight to his face as you defended what you believed was the truth even though he knows it’s not even close to the truth. He should be admonishing you for treating him in such a way, but he doesn’t.

You grin at him and proudly show him the now sparkling clean statue.

You’re… not intolerable, he supposes.

“Have I told you, Xiao, how I just know that next year is the year Rex Lapis finally accepts my marriage proposal?!”

He stops, blinking to process your words, still not quite believing what he heard.

And then he remembers a meeting over tea a year ago and Rex Lapis’ amusement and what he had to say about the girl who once proposed to him during the Rite of Descension.

A very kind and lively child.

Xiao thinks, as he looks at you gagging because you accidentally splashed dirty bucket water into your mouth, that Rex Lapis’ judgment might have been inaccurate on this one.

He remembers the scent of tea in the air and warm golden eyes gazing at him and wondering for all but a second if this is what a father’s gaze might look like.

You will like her, should you meet.

…It remains to be seen.

the adepti’s guide on how to not catch feelings for the strange mortal who has a massive crush on your pseudo-dad

step two: should step one fail, do not entertain the mortal’s delusions. i repeat, do not entertain its delusions.

series masterlist

previous step

word count: 5.7k

note: as promised here is chapter two posted before 3.1 drops! if you want an irl basis on how weird the reader truly is, just imagine someone saying they’re in love with jesus. also someone stop me i just had a realization about how great it would be if i made a scara fic with this premise. the harbinger’s guide on how to not catch feelings for the weirdo who’s in love with your mom. helpppp

[the-iceni-bitch]

The Bitch is Back

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader (OTP)

Words: ~2.8k

Summary: You run into Ransom’s cunt of an ex again and it goes about as well as expected.

Warnings: explicit language, Ransom looking like a whole snack, fluff, that blonde bitch, Linda being a cunt, extremely abusive language and allusions to past emotional abuse, more angst than I had intended, my undying love for these two idiots, too many feelings

A/N: I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her! Sorry everyone, the angst took over this one and what I had intended to be another fun romp a la Girl Fight turned into a pit of emotion that I couldn’t dig myself out of. I’m gonna go cry.

“Baby, you know we can just go home, right?” Ransom gave you a tired but indulgent smile when he looked at you, tucking his fingers under your chin and tilting your head back so he could look into your eyes while you swallowed thickly.

“No, I’m not gonna give your mother the satisfaction of seeing me duck out of this thing.” You got that stubborn set to your jaw that told him to quit trying to take care of you, because proving to his bitch mother you could actually make it through one of these stupid events without causing some kind of scene was more important than your comfort right now.

You felt bile rise in your throat and swallowed it again. This was fucking ridiculous, you weren’t even on a boat, just the dock. But you still felt like you were going to vomit at any second, watching the motion of the boats rocking on the water making your gut lurch. It almost made you wonder if Linda knew about your stomach’s aversion to being on water when she had insisted on the two of you attending their fucking sailing club’s final regatta. 

“Here we go, one scopolamine patch.” You could’ve kissed Anne when she handed it to you, grateful that Ben’s boat was moored in this marina so you didn’t have to spend the rest of this stupid thing constantly swallowing your own vomit. “Why didn’t you bring your own?”

“She said she’d be fine if she didn’t actually go on the boats.” Ransom ignored the glare you shot him when he talked to Anne over your head, rubbing your arm softly when he pulled you closer to him.

“Did I tell you how much I hate that you two get along?” You frowned when Ransom pressed his lips to your hair, slapping the patch on your neck and sighing when you felt your stomach start to settle.

Anne just laughed at you, shaking her head as she sipped on her cocktail and leaned against Ben. The fact that this guy actually treated you like you deserved did a lot to endear him to her, even if he was an asshole sometimes.

You had been worried at first about introducing Anne to Ransom’s idiot friends, no matter how much they had grown on you. But your friend could hold her own, her no nonsense attitude endearing her to the girls as she chewed out Logan for some dumbass comment while Dylan and Chaz just chuckled that now there were two of you.

This was one of the few things that you actually felt out of your element with, since you could not give a single fuck about sailing with your stupid seasickness. But you could tell Ran was enjoying himself, and every fucking time he got near the water he looked so fucking windswept and dreamy so it was well worth the nausea. That was all gone now though, the scopolamine making you feel just the tiniest bit drowsy and pleasantly warm while Ran pulled you tight against his chest as he whistled for his team’s boat between nuzzling himself into your hair with pleased little hums. Even Linda giving you some vicious side eye couldn’t break you out of your good mood, the warmth of Ransom wrapped around you like a balm for your typical nervous energy. Then you heard Jess mutter an “oh shit” and the sound of a bratty, whiny voice broke right through your pleasant haze and made your spine stiffen.

“Rannie?” That fucking blonde bitch would show up to something like this, just to ruin your day. “I thought that was you. Oh, still with your tramp, I see.”

“Sloane.” His grip around you grew almost painfully tight, growling into your neck as he did his best to take deep breaths. “Don’t you have some puppies to skin, or something?”

You grabbed his hand and wound your fingers through his as you felt him tense up, pressing your lips to the inside of his wrist in an attempt to help him calm down. It had been your sincere hope that after you beat the shit out of this cunt you would never have to see her again, but when had you ever been that lucky?

“Aww, Rannie, thought you couldn’t talk without this bitch’s permission.” She looked mildly uncomfortable when you shifted your gaze to her, your eyes narrowing in a warning that she chose to ignore. “Been missing you a whole lot, baby, when’re you gonna stop slumming around?”

“What the fuck do you want, Sloane?” You were chanting over and over in your head that you were not going to fight this cunt, catching Anne starting to square up from the corner of your eye and giving her a small shake of the head to get her to stand down.

“I’m not talking to you, slut.” She must’ve been drunk, you had definitely taught her her lesson last time. “Just because you can give this bastard a good, sloppy fuck doesn’t mean you get to keep him. You don’t know what he really needs, and he’s too fucking stupid to tell you. God, you’re only sticking with him because he’s such a good fuck, right? That’s like, his only redeeming quality, except for the money. And you and your low class pussy don’t even know what to do with such a fine piece of eye candy.”

“Ok, you need to leave, Sloane.” Ransom may have been full of the anxiety he always felt around his ex, but the way your whole body was wound tight like a spring let him know you were ready to get violent. So he pressed a brief, soothing kiss to your hair and moved to guide this drunk bitch away from another beating.

“Don’t you fucking touch me, god, you really are a fucking moron.” Sloane jerked away from him when he tried to guide her away from your group, turning and sneering derisively at him. “Fuck’s sake, Linda was right, she really should have aborted you so we wouldn’t have to deal with your stupid bull shit.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” You reached your arm out to grip Ransom’s shoulder on instinct when he recoiled like he had been slapped, pulling him towards you protectively as you stared disbelieving at the people around you. “What the fuck did she just say?”

Sloane was just grinning at you wickedly as she sipped on her drink, like she had never and would never do anything wrong in her life. You almost forgot your promise you’d made to not get yourself kicked out of this event, but then Ran was clutching at your waist and making a choked sound and you turned back to him with concern.

There was no one to hold back Anne though, and she hadn’t made any promises about being on her best behavior. So she handed Ben her purse and punched that bitch right in the jaw.

You just gave a grateful look to your best friend before she bitch slapped that twat, security already starting to rush towards the fight as you guided Ransom towards the parking lot while he tried to regulate his breathing.

“Baby? Hey, Ran, look at me.” You’d never seen him look so completely lost, his eyes glistening with pent up emotion when you finally got him to look at you and you felt your heart break. “Oh honey, can you make it to the car?” He just nodded at you as another strangled sob escaped his throat and every fiber of your being ached to give him some form of comfort. “Ok, gimme the keys.”

He handed them to you and you wound your arm around him to guide him towards the beemer, letting him lean heavily on your shoulder and murmuring soft, soothing noises to him as you tried to think of something you could do for him. You knew that bitch was an abusive piece of work but Ran had been so hesitant to talk about it and you didn’t want to push him about it before he was ready, but if the way he reacted to her barb was any indication of how she treated him you might end up killing that bitch.

Ransom’s breathing seemed even more ragged by the time you reached the beemer, barely giving you a chance to shove the front seat down so the two of you could climb into the back and you could instruct him to stretch out over your lap. Your own throat was starting to get tight when he let out a wretched sob, the fingers of one hand running through his hair while the other smoothed over his chest as you watched his face closely.

“Baby, I need you to breathe for me, ok?” You were trying your best to keep your voice low and even, taking a deep breath and waiting for him to mirror your actions until he was pressing his face to your stomach with a piteous whine once his breathing had regulated slightly. “That’s it, you’re doing so good, Ran, just keep breathing.” 

He sighed deeply when you continued murmuring soft words of praise to him, his fingers curling over yours on his chest as he looked up at you and felt the softness of your gaze spread like warmth through his body. 

“I’m sorry.” He moaned when you pulled gently on his hair, his voice raspy with the tears he’d managed to swallow.

“No, baby.” You curled over him and brushed your lips over his forehead, trying not to cry when he wrapped his arms around your neck and let out another shaky breath. “You don’t apologize, ever, you hear me?”

“I thought I was over this shit.” He buried his face in your neck and breathed deep, your warm scent washing over him and finally making him relax. “I don’t want to put this on you.”

“Listen to me, Ransom.” You pulled back a little so you could gaze into his eyes, resting your forehead against his and maneuvering until you were laying next to him across the backseat. “I don’t know if you really think I’m just with you for the sex or what, but when I say I love you, I fucking mean it. I love all of you, so much, and that means that you can put all of it on me, ok? I’m not going anywhere.”

“Fuck, I love you, too.” He whined when you pressed your lips to his gently, drinking you in and pulling you to him as tight as possible when you let him deepen the kiss. “Need you so much.”

“I know, Ransom, I’m here.” You moved your lips up to his cheeks when he finally let his tears start to fall, kissing each one that stained his cheeks as you splayed your body over his while he held you. “My sweet boy, it’s ok. Let go for me, baby.”

He buried his face in your shoulder and did as you asked. It wasn’t loud or dramatic, but you could feel the warm wetness of his tears against the bare flesh of your neck while his chest heaved against yours. You cooed soft words of encouragement into his hair as he wept, letting a few of your own tears fall as you felt the tension slowly seep from his body.

Neither of you were sure how long you laid there tangled with each other, but eventually Ransom felt the last of the pain drain out of him until he was sinking against the seat with exhaustion. Having you there with him was like a balm for his soul, the way your eyes moved to search his once you felt him let out a deep sigh making his lips quirk in a small smile. His eyes were brilliantly blue from the tears he had shed, but you could see a glimmer of something hopeful there, and that made you relax. You sighed when he framed your face with his hands and pulled your lips back to his, the kiss chaste but full of emotion that he was too exhausted to vocalize at the moment.

“You ready to go home?” You pressed your hand over his heart when you leaned back a little, glad to feel that it had slowed down to a normal rhythm as he nodded for you. “Ok, you just stay back here and rest, alright? When we get home I’m gonna draw us a nice bath and we’ll just spend the rest of the day vegging.”

“That sounds good.” He watched you climb back into the front seat with a deep breath, squeezing your hand when you let it linger on his chest before letting you pull it away with reluctance.

You peeked at him through the rear view mirror before pulling out, relieved when you watched his eyes drift closed as he sagged into the seat and let his exhaustion take over. It almost hurt you how much you loved that man, and if you ever saw that cunt who hurt him again, there was a good chance you were going to jail for him.

Ransom was still dozing by the time you pulled up to the house, but he roused quickly when he felt you shake him awake. He let you help him out of the car and smiled warmly at you when you brought your hand up to cup his jaw, humming contentedly when you let him bury his face in your hair as you guided him into the house.

You pressed a kiss to his cheek once you were inside and instructed him to go to the en suite while you got some wine, watching him closely as he headed up the stairs before moving to grab a good bottle from the rack. There was a buzzing from your purse and you pulled out your phone, texting Anne that everything was ok and no, you didn’t need her to smash that bitch’s windows in. She was detailing all the ways she was going to fuck that cunt up and making you chuckle when suddenly the last caller ID you expected flashed across your screen.

“Can I help you with something, Linda?” You poured the Syrah into a decanter and moved to grab a couple of glasses, curious why exactly she was calling you.

“Y/N…” she sounded massively uncomfortable but you could not bring yourself to give a single fuck. “I just… I heard what Sloane said and I wanted to make sure Ransom was alright. He wasn’t answering my calls though.”

“Good for him.” You chewed on your lip as you considered what you wanted to say to her. “Was she lying?”

“What?”

“Did you tell your own child you should have aborted him? Or was that abusive cunt you kept forcing down your son’s throat being a lying bitch?” 

“I never… I didn’t tell him.” She still sounded like she thought she was in the right, and you might have spit in her face if she was in front of you.

“Oh, but you said it, didn’t you?” You sneered and downed the glass of wine you’d poured when you saw her number pop up. She didn’t deny it, and you quickly moved to pour yourself another glass. “You’re a fucking piece of work, Linda.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.” You could  practically hear her spine straightening over the phone and you rolled your eyes at her. “You don’t know what it was like trying to raise him. Stubborn and spoiled and…”

“Goodbye, Linda. Don’t fucking call either of us again.” You hung up before she could continue, tossing your phone across the counter and draining your glass before grabbing the decanter and glasses before heading upstairs.

“Hey, baby.” He was already soaking when you walked into the steam filled en suite, his head leaning back against the edge of the drop in tub and giving you a lazy grin. “You have trouble picking a wine?”

“No.” You set the decanter and glasses on the tray at the tub’s edge and pinned your hair off your neck before getting undressed and sliding into the water with him. “I had to talk to your mother.” 

“Oh, you had to?” He pulled you against his chest and sighed when you tucked your face into his neck.

“Yeah, I wanted to make sure she didn’t disturb us for the rest of the weekend.” You took a deep breath when he started trailing his fingers over your spine, the warmth of the water seeping through your body and helping you relax as you sank into him. “You wanna talk about what happened?”

“Later.” His arms wound tightly around you, nuzzling into your hair and breathing in the scent of you that always made him feel like he was home. “Just wanna hold you for now.”

[princeescaluswords]

Broken Bones and Finding Books

So I'm watching Abomination (2x04), an episode of Teen Wolf which most of fandom believes consist solely of the pool scene, and I am forcibly reminded of why I cannot believe that there's any argument about Scott McCall being a heroic lead protagonist.

In the action, Boyd has been recruited from the sidelines to play in a lacrosse game, but since he's a brand new werewolf he is having trouble concealing his eyes on the field. This is problematic because Gerard "We Kill Them All" Argent is watching from the stands. So Scott snatches the ball away from Boyd, scores the goal instead, but get hits so hard by an the opposing player that it draws a foul and the entire audience shouts because it's obvious Scott sustained a serious injury.

Let me walk you through the scene.

Melissa: Oh, my God.

Now, I shouldn't have to point out that not only is Scott in trouble because Gerard Argent is right there, but he's in pain. He's groaning with his leg twisted in a position that is supposed to indicate that it's broken. Allison rushes over to him, as play is stopped.

Scott: I'm fine, I'm healing, it's okay. The book?

Allison: It's not in his office, it's gotta be at the house. Let's look at your leg. Oh, my God, your leg is broken.

Scott: Not for long.

Coach: Don't move.

Melissa: Scott.

Scott: It's okay. It's okay. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Melissa: I could have sworn I literally heard bone breaking from where I sat.

Coach: Heard it? I felt it.

Scott: Seriously, guys, I'm - I'm fine.

I want to point out a few things that the fandom may have missed in their eagerness to get back to the scene happening simultaneously where Erica kidnaps Stiles on Derek's say so and Derek intimidates Stiles into talking to them. Because that's the only scene that matters.

In the previous episode, Boyd sat there and watched Scott get assaulted and Derek beat the hell out of him, to the point that he was coughing up blood and had to get treated by Deaton. Scott was trying to talk Boyd out of the Bite and Boyd could have stopped the fight at any time by saying "You're too late." Scott has every reason to be pissed off at Boyd or simply not give a damn, but he intervenes anyway.

Scott is in pain from a broken leg that the entire crowd witnessed. Even with werewolf healing, he can't put weight on his leg at the end of the scene. But his first question happens to be if Stiles successfully recovered the book.

If there is a dumbass moment between Scott and Allison it is the idea that they don't automatically recognize that Gerard has figured out Scott is a beta. But even so, Gerard has a question for Scott -- he's asking him to dinner. Does Scott want to go to dinner at the Argents? No. Why would he say yes? Because Allison says "It's gotta be at the house."

Scott and Allison, thanks to Stiles's text, have no idea that Stiles has been kidnapped by Derek's pack. He sent a mission completed text to Allison.

If Scott had given up lacrosse as people wanted him to, he wouldn't have been there. Who knows what Boyd would have done? It's pretty obvious now that he would have been Gerard's target instead.

Also, if Derek is so much a better alpha than Scott, why did Derek not bother to see what Boyd was doing instead of kidnapping Stiles? Did he not ask Erica where Boyd was? He's the one who lectured Scott about playing lacrosse as a newly bitten wolf.

Now, call me a stan, but this is pretty heroic behavior, isn't it? There is no way to blame anything that happened here on Scott. He got seriously hurt and was exposed to an evil hunter to help protect one of Derek's betas and help solve the mess that Derek started, the episode after Derek and his pack beat him up to show him how tough they were.

I also want to point out that Scott didn't go to the Argent house to 'have dinner and make out with Allison' while Stiles was in danger. He went there, after suffering a broken leg, to do exactly what he ended up trying to do, find the Bestiary that they needed to help stop the kanima.

Why do I still see parts of the fandom state that "Scott didn't care about Derek or his pack?" Why do I still see parts of the fandom state that "Scott wasn't a good alpha because he focused on his own needs and not the needs of the pack?" Why do I still see parts of the fandom argue that Derek was a better alpha?

The show was drawing us a picture. And it's fine if you think that all Derek needed was someone to believe in him, but come on -- you have to admit this was a pretty telling scene for who should be the alpha.

[jitterbugjive]

Something I wish more people would understand is how unhealthy and misguided I was in my early 20s. I came out of a life of mental and sexual abuse, for a bit I had a much older boyfriend than me that I didn’t realize until fairly recently was grooming me since I was 14. I was a hyper sexual teenager due to the exposure I had in childhood and I sought people out constantly to ERP with, even adults, without really thinking anything was wrong with that. I had an old friend who started running away from home to look for random adult men to sleep with so my understanding and feelings towards that kind of situation got all twisted and confused and I didn’t know how to help my friend. I had another friend who was pulled in to a 3 way by another minor and an adult, and the other minor was also the sort who actively looked for adult men who would be sick enough to sleep with her. And my best friend had a sister who was also exhibiting this behavior despite my friends’ many protests, because their mom didn’t give a single fuck about anything. I had an older babysitter, by older I mean in his 60s, who would bring up conversations about sex with me and show me porn on TV from when  I was 10-13. I was dealing with unchecked PTSD which made me overly reactive, prone to fits of anger and anxiety.

My point is, back then I didn’t have any kind of professional help or anywhere I could go for answers on things I didn’t understand or had a limited understanding of. When I ask the question ‘what do you do if a kid is seeking out adult sexual attention’ it’s not because I’m trying to blame kids for this, it’s because it scares me when kids are unknowingly, maybe even knowingly, exposing themselves to danger for whatever screwed up reason they may have. And no one wants to talk about that kind of situation, so I couldn’t find any answers. I couldn’t find an appropriate way to process my feelings on the matter, my understanding of it, the way I viewed it, I couldn’t find what the correct way to feel or deal with it was. Again, because no one wants to talk about it. With my naivety and personal experience, I at first held resentment towards kids like that, because I remember being put in danger because of them or they put my friends in danger, and those kids seemed very sure of their choices even when they were perfectly aware it was wrong. One of them I knew, even as an adult, didn’t ever think anything was wrong with what they did, they didn’t come with that regret you hear most people talking about. I regret the way I’ve reacted to these situations and I regret the way I phrased things when I was trying to come to terms with this issue that I’d been honestly traumatized by.

Another thing I didn’t understand in my early 20s was appropriate boundaries, because I wasn’t given appropriate boundaries as a kid I only knew one big basic thing: Don’t do anything sexually explicit with minors.

And when it came to RP, I thought that meant PG13 content was okay. I thought if there was a fade to black, or a time skip, or an implication, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Now, there are literally only 2 instances I can think of where there was any sort of implication of sexual acts between characters with a minor, I still made sure nothing explicit was shown or explored and I was of the impression that I was just letting the other person have fun because that’s what they were in to. And that was a mistake. Not as big of a mistake as it could have been, mind you, but I’d never cross that line. I thought I had a good line drawn in the sand but I didn’t really understand where it was supposed to be. Because if we’re gonna be honest here, looking back I know now even romantic fluff RP between an adult and a minor isn’t okay, even if it’s through characters and not as ourselves.

I know now how much of an emotional impact RP can have on a person, considering most of my romantic relationships started with RP. When you have a character you deeply connect to interacting with someone else’s character, it’s really easy to start mistaking your character’s feelings for your own. You could believe because your characters get along so well that maybe the two of you can get along romantically too. I’m not saying that RP shouldn’t lead to romance, but that it can easily blind a person from how their RP partner really is. So it’s dangerous to RP with kids like this. I should know, my abusive ex that groomed me until I turned 18 in order to date me certainly had me convinced we were meant for each other just because our characters clicked and my character happened to be a representation of myself.

Something I’m really ashamed to admit as well is a serious misjudgement on my part, where for some reason I assumed bodily fluids weren’t NSFW. Probably because I’ve seen people get away with censoring out naughty bits but leaving the spunk in an image, or just drawing the character with spunk on them or something. Point is, people were getting away with it not being flagged as porn, and my dumb brain was like ‘okay so it’s not that bad’. I need to make something clear here, I don’t entirely remember what happened or why it happened, but it’s true that Bedeviled Derpy had a post that showed spunk in 2 of the images and it was drawn from some sketches of mine by a teenager. I don’t believe I would have requested such a thing, I certainly didn’t script it to say ‘draw spunk here’, in fact the sketches don’t show any indication of a mess anywhere. I just remember being given the finished images with the spunk being added, and I was dumb enough to think “oh yeah this is totally okay for a SFW blog” and my brain didn’t even register like ‘hello yes a child drew this maybe ask them to remove the spunk also spunk isn’t sfw or child friendly in any way shape or form’

Some people, maybe only a handful, or more, I don’t know, but some people have this assumption that my mindset in all of this was like “Hahaha I’m taking advantage of a minor” and that’s just... not it?

I’m a colossal dumbass, I admit that, and I was really irresponsible, but it was NOT because I had any intentions on preying on a child. I just don’t do that.

The things I said and did, I did out of ignorance, and most of the bad stuff people talk about me saying was from 5+ years ago, before I got any help, before I had anyone to walk me through these incredibly complex emotions and opinions that were ingrained in my head since childhood.

I just wish that people could see I had no malice or ill intent, I wish people could realize they’re way overthinking my actions and taking things a lot more personally than they were ever meant to be. Maybe if they could see this for what it is rather than assuming I’m a villain who purposefully did everything wrong, they could learn to move on in a healthy way.

I understand I did a lot of harm and there’s no undoing that.

But I do NOT deserve to be accused of pedophilia. Pedophilia has literally ruined my life and my perception of the world. I’m a victim too, and just because I became an adult doesn’t mean I suddenly know right from wrong. That’s not how becoming an adult works. You’re allowed to make mistakes as an adult, being an adult doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes any more. Yes it’s easier to say to someone ‘you were just a kid, it was a mistake, you didn’t know any better’, but adults have a hard time knowing ‘any better’ too. We’re always growing and learning and I’d like to think people are smart enough to see that I have grown in to a better person.

I hope people can find it in their hearts to forgive me, but I fear some people are too far gone down the rabbit hole of being convinced that everything was on purpose and from malice, that I’m some evil mastermind who thrives on manipulation and taking advantage of kids. I’ve only ever associated with 2 minors since becoming an adult and I have no intention of associating with any more that aren’t directly connected to my family or my friends.

Anyone who actually knows me would know I have a 0 tolerance for IRL pedophilia, when I found out a member of one of my groups was showing nudes to minors he was immediately kicked out and I kept tabs on the situation to make sure he’d be caught by police. When a member in my server was exposed for ERP and orbiting with a minor, I kicked him out too.

I worry about kids to a point that it’s part of my PTSD, I have anxiety attacks just worrying about how a kid might be getting harmed, the last thing I want to do is bring harm to them.

And I did cause harm, I didn’t know that was what I was doing, but I did, because I wasn’t mature enough to understand how to interact with kids as an adult. And again, I’m just incredibly sorry things had to even come to this. I’m not lying when I say I think about this every single day, and sometimes spiral in to really bad anxiety because of it. It affects me heavily.

I want to move on.

And I want the people affected to move on too.

Because dwelling on this isn’t going to do anyone any good.

[whump-a-la-mode]

Nemesis - Part 3

This part is a little more plot heavy, but I added in some nice Whumpy bits too! I hope you guys enjoy, and thanks everyone for their suggestions!

Also, the next part of this may be a bit late, as I’m planning for my next piece to be the continuation of Villainsicle!

CW//Mentions of law enforcement, mentions of therapy/treatments, restraints, medical abuse, begging, screaming, forced sedation, needles, blood

Open the door.

It would be so simple. The entrance was constructed of little more than wood and a flimsy lock. Even someone without the benefit of powers could break it. And, based on what Hero had seen so far of this place, it may not have even been locked.

Just open it.

Open the door, and they could sleep again.

Open the stupid door.

But...

Hero’s hands clenched into fists, their gaze moving upwards, fixing upon the metal plaque upon the door.

‘43′

Beyond the simple plank of wood, their nemesis was laying. Suffering. Trapped in their own mind.

They could open the door, just twist the knob, and save them. In any other time, any other instance, it was what they would have done. They knew the way the others spoke of them, joked about them. Saying they’d jump off a bridge, even if their friends hadn’t done it first. They couldn’t control their impulses. That was what Leader always wrote, in the reports. Impulsive. Reckless.

That’s what they were. Reckless.

But that was back when it didn’t matter. That was back when the only one in danger was them. Hero. Now that Villain was part of the equation?

They had to think. They had to be smart.

Hero bit their tongue with enough force that the taste of bloody iron washed over their taste buds.

They didn’t open the door.

Around the corner, a doctor in blue scrubs furrowed their brow, and dipped away to make a phone call.

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“If I’m being completely honest, Hero, I wasn’t expecting you to contact me again.”

Hacker spoke with their head down, sheepish, as though a child apologizing for breaking a toy.

Again, the two sat in the same diner: It was busy, but crowded enough that they could simply blend into the lunch rush without fuss. To avoid questions, the both of them had ordered an appetizer, though neither of them had much of an appetite to speak of.

“You weren’t? Why’s that?”

“I mean...” They leaned back in their seat, pressing their spine against the padded booth seat back. “I didn’t think you’d care? That sounds kind of rude now that I’m saying it out loud but... The stuff I was showing you, I assumed you were already aware of it.”

“You thought I knew the way Villain was being treated?”

“Kind of? That’s the kind of stuff they tell you, right?”

“Eh...” Hero dropped their gaze. “Not really. That’s not our business. We catch the crook, what happens to them after isn’t really our focus.”

Hacker frowned.

“It’s not?”

“No.”

“So you didn’t know?”

“Not at all. I knew they were at that facility but... I thought it was fine. I thought Villain was fine.”

“Maybe I should have told you sooner, then.”

“You knew?”

“Well.” There came the embarrassment once more, their cheeks flushing. “For the scale of your organization, your cybersecurity is a little... lacking. Everything from that rehab facility, it’s stored on an off-site backup. Their on-site security is decent, but once it goes through that external data channel, it’s caught right in my net.”

“Is that right?”

“Don’t tell anyone, please?”

“Trust me, I wasn’t planning on it. I have much bigger problems than low level hackers.”

“Hey!”

“That’s not to say you’re a low-level hacker.”

“That’s better. Then, if you’re not here to like, arrest me-”

“That’s what you thought I was doing?”

“Kinda. If that’s not what you want, what do you want?”

“I want to know more.”

Hero had made the decision upon planning this meeting that they were not to tell Hacker about their visit to the facility. Despite the aid they had already offered, it was hard to trust someone who admitted to criminality with such nonchalance. And, besides, Hero was almost certain that their superiors wouldn’t be happy to know about their distraction.

“More?”

“You’ve been watching them for a while, right? I want to know more. Everything about Villain, everything about the whole place. How much do you know?”

“A lot. I have a considerable amount of files, though I have no way of knowing how many more there are that I don’t have. How many they keep on-site.”

“But you have information?”

“I have a lot of junk. Taxes, insurance, quarterly reports, formalities. Prescriptions for mundane crap like, I don’t know, allergies. But, I think I have a few diamonds in the rough. You’re going to have to be more specific than that, though. I do need something to work off of.”

Hero nodded, biting their lip. They hadn’t exactly thought this far ahead.

They were getting Villain out of that so-called rehab facility. They knew that much. But they needed to be smart about it. They needed information. They needed to know how they could get their friend- foe out of that place quickly, safely, and with as little noise as possible.

“The facility.” They began. “How does it work? It’s a relatively small facility housing a relatively large number of dangerous criminals. How do they... help them? They’re not all treated like Villain, right?”

“I don’t think there’s enough drugs on the continent to keep them all like Villain. Their methods of treatment are... unclear. The patient reports indicate what therapies each one is undergoing, but they don’t have names. Just numbers. Codes. Whatever they do in there, they keep it in house. My doctor friends have never heard of any of it, before.”

“Then how do they do it? Drugs?”

“If they have some kind of secret therapy, I don’t know about it. But they do have something else. They call it AMRS.”

“AMRS?”

“The Automatic Magnetic Restraint System. A fancy name for a crude practice. They’re vague about it, of course, but from what I can tell, each resident wears these four ring things. Bracelets, it calls them. One on each wrist, one on each ankle. A single push of a button, and they all link together. Any escape stopped in a second.”

“That seems...”

“Cruel? Yeah. But I guess it could be worse. As far as how the facility operates, though, that’s all I have. It’s not drugs, as far as I can tell. I have those dosage reports for everyone, and those that take medicine seem to do so for genuine medical conditions. Insulin, epilepsy medication, that kind of thing.”

“None of the others are sedated?”

“Not officially.”

“But Villain...”

“I think if they were any more heavily sedated, they’d go right from a temporary sleep to a permanent one.”

“You mean-”

“They’d die, yes. It’s called a euphemism, dumbass.”

“I know that. So, what about Villain, do you have anything else on them?”

“They’ve been kept heavily sedated since they arrived. Regular patient records, they just... don’t have them. No behavior reports, no treatment reports, nothing.”

“I guess they’re not really treating them.”

“Yeah.”

“They’ve really been kept like this, ever since I- Ever since they arrived?”

“As far as I can tell, yes.”

“Then it wasn’t reactionary.”

“What do you mean?”

“They didn’t try to like, blow up the facility, or kill up all the staff, or anything?! They were just knocked out. Locked up. They weren’t even given a chance to be good?”

Hacker lowered their gaze, nodding.

“Why?”

“Are you sure you want-”

“You know why?”

“I’m not certain, but-”

“Show me.”

Hacker startled a bit, but nodded once more, starting up their beast of a laptop and typing for a considerable amount of time. Hero could not help but hold their breath, and when the computer was at last turned to face them, they felt about to pass out.

“Wait.” Hacker spun the computer back. “You need to promise me something, first.”

“What?” Hero hated how desperate they sounded.

“Whatever you do, after you see this... please, just think it through.”

“Okay.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

“Okay.”

The screen was returned to Hero.

They halfway expected another video feed. A video of Villain, destroying and killing and doing something, anything to deserve their current treatment.

Instead, they were faced with an email. Or, at least, a screenshot of one. Passed through enough computers that the jpeg artifacts had begun to show.

An email from Director to Head Doctor.

The text was simple. Curt. A simple request to destroy a life.

“I am certain that you are aware of the new patient you will be intaking tomorrow. I request that you do not classify them among the other patients. Normal intake procedures will be unnecessary. You need only keep them contained. Alive if you can, dead if you must.

Villain must never see the light of day again. I trust that you will be able to accomplish this.

Thank you-- Do not forget that we will be meeting for lunch next Wednesday.”

Not even a hundred words. That was all it took, to turn a spirited fighter to a vegetable.

“Thank you, Hacker. I think... I think I need to go home.”

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Hero’s parting from the restaurant was sudden enough to make several other patrons look up. Hacker could not help but feel embarrassment well up in their chest. They hated being out in public like this.

They figured, even with the cold food sitting before them, they should be going. Finger on their mouse, they closed the email on the screen, revealing-

Not their desktop.

They had forgotten. They had meant to show Hero and they had forgotten.

Now, the video sat there, waiting. A chipper white arrow informing them that it was ready to play at any time.

They shouldn’t have. Hell, they could have at least waited to go home. But...

Hacker plugged in a set of earbuds, setting the buds themselves in their ears.

They clicked play.

Even on the rather low-quality security camera footage, the crash was loud enough to make Hacker jump. Three lab-coated figures, a mess of limbs and white coats, leapt atop the hospital gown wearing person like a predator after prey.

Villain was not facing the camera, but it made no difference. Their voice made them more than distinctive enough.

“Get the fuck off of me! Get off get off get off!“ The scream was loud enough to break the microphone’s volume filter, turning into a single, mournful screech.

If the labcoats heard, they did not listen. They positioned themselves along their captive’s body-- one holding their legs, one the arms, and one forcing their face to the tile.

“Please!”

The fourth figure wore a different outfit, a pair of blue scrubs, though the camera quality made them appear almost grey. Represented by only a few pixels, the syringe in their hand was none the less distinctive.

“Hold them still, please.” The doctor muttered, kneeling down beside Villain, their hysterical screaming not missing a beat.

“No! No! Please, please don’t do this! I don’t want to go! Please!”

There were no comforting words. Only the satisfied nodding of the head doctor as their needle slipped deftly to a vein and administered its contents.

“What is that, what is that, no no no please!”

A nurse handed down another syringe, and another, and another. The timestamp in the video’s corner dragged on in agonizing slowness as new pinpricks of blood welled up over Villain’s skin.

It took only a few minutes for their screaming to stop. Then their thrashing. Then, they closed their eyes.

It would be a long, long time until they opened them again.

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Of course, home was not a place of rest. Not as much as Hero would have liked it to be. They were not a civilian-- they were not that lucky. They did not have the chance to return home to a soft bed and a loving family.

No. When they went home, they went to work.

It was only past noon when they returned home to the HQ. A time at which the towering building stood largely abandoned, its occupants leaving in droves to flood the nearby restaurants like a locust swarm.

Riding the elevator to the floor containing their quarters, Hero hoped beyond hope that their team, too, had gone out.

But, of course, they had no such luck.

They didn’t even make it to their quarters. No, as soon as the elevator doors opened, their heart sunk.

“I saw you walk in.” Leader’s arms were crossed over their chest, a single eyebrow raised. “Let’s go to my office.”

“I was just about to go back to my dorm-”

“Actually, you were just about to follow my orders and go to my office.”

Hero slumped their shoulders. They didn’t have the energy to fight this, especially since they knew it was a fight they couldn’t win.

Leader’s office was a place they had all visited, though never under good circumstances. It was far too immaculately kept for what it was used for, a solid oak desk standing in a room well decorated with house plants and bookshelves. Leader took their seat, and Hero reluctantly did the same, across from them.

“So,” Leader began--they were not one for formalities. “When exactly when you planning on telling me?”

“If you’re going to yell at me about something, you at least have to tell me what.”

“Teammate told me, yesterday. They found out why you’re getting so distracted.”

Hero dropped their gaze. They weren’t exactly surprised about this. They only hoped Teammate had kept their mouth shut about their plans.

“It’s really nothing.” Hero tried. “I’ll get over it.”

“This anniversary you’re getting so upset over was ten days ago. By the time you get over it, another year will have already passed. So, no. You’re not getting out of it that easily. I need to know what’s gotten you so worked up.”

Hero gripped the arm of their chair.

“I’m worried. That’s all. Worried about Villain. It’s been too long. They’ve been so silent for so long.”

Leader frowned.

“I can personally assure you that Villain is being well taken care of. The rehabbers have more experience than you could imagine.”

“That’s just it! Villain spent so long terrorizing the city, and they’re still here. But they’re so quiet.”

Leader sighed, sitting up straight in their chair.

“This isn’t just a minor distraction. You need to know that. It’s reflecting on your performance, and heavily. Enough that Director has noticed.”

“Director?”

“Yes. They asked me about the situation, and I informed them of your current problem. They stated that, if it really is such a concern to you, they can have Villain moved to another facility. Somewhere farther.”

“No!”

“What? They think it would help, really. Out of sight. Out of mind.”

“No. They need to be here.”

“And why would that be?”

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Thanks so much for reading! Just like last time, there are two options along with every part of this story. Alongside each options is a question, so that you guys can give more specific suggestions if you so wish. The option that receives the most votes will be the choice that our Hero makes!

A.) Leader can help. Tell the truth - Should Hero tell Leader about Director’s role in Villain’s condition?

B.) Leader can also ruin the whole operation. Lie - What should Hero do next?

[regrettablewritings]

I'm feeling a Nevada Ramirez mood (love that damn asshole) but if you aren't feeling writing for him then I give this up to authors choice. But from the current ships numbers perhaps: 3 (because I wanna get fucked up), 9 (because I have to), 10 (because I would like to know your thoughts) and 11 (because I am wildly curious)

("I'm feeling a Nevada Ramirez mood" Translation: "I want a daddy to spit in my fuckgng mouth" Sorry, I don't make the rules about language translation.🤷🏽‍♀️)

3. Which one outlives the other, and how they cope:

You'd always kind of sort of lived in a fairytale. In hindsight, though, you probably had to: It's what probably made being with his stupid ass a bit easier. Kind of like you were living in one of those stories where a monster that terrorized some bucolic tiny town could be brought down to size by a soul of pure heart. Maybe even regain his human form.

If only your story had had a happy ending.

In a way, Nevada felt he was to blame for that; clearly, sticking with you had really only encouraged that type of behavior, or so he thought.

And now look where that ended you: All that gross-ass makeup to make you look like your last moments hadn't been agonizing (the coroner insisted it had been quick, but Nevada called bullshit); those stiff clothes that you never would've worn unless you had to (Nevada never would've put you in them if he had more of a choice); eyes closed, never to see the telltale signs of the one you left behind coming undone (actually, in a sick way, Nevada didn't necessarily mind this; it spared him the humiliation).

There wasn't even necessarily any sign that you had been targeted; the general theory really was that you'd been taken out by a stray bullet. But in some part of him, Nevada couldn't believe that. He didn't want to. It just made so much perfect sense in his mind: You were just minding your own damn business, walking home after a shift ended a little later than expected. You were the very picture of innocent and unsuspecting, all vulnerable and without him. In short: That was the perfect time for some rival gang or some shit to take a shot at you.

And the thought made Nevada's blood boil to the point that it evaporated into the air, further polluting these fucking New York skies with his inner toxicity being exposed. He'd make whoever did this to you choke. But not before roughing them up a lil bit. Maybe cut off some fingers. Some toes . . . Maybe a pound of flesh as payment if there was any time left, who knows.

But first, his men had to find them.

To say that Nevada does not take your passing well would be an understatement. He's somehow more violent. Somehow a lot less tolerant of bullshit (and he already wasn't before). If anyone so much as blinks wrong, they run the risk of having a nearly feral fuck jump at them and attempt to rip their face off.

His men, who already feared and respected him, dare not occupy the same room as him any longer than they have to. They miss you as a person, of course, but they never knew just how much of a hold you had on their boss until that hand was gone.

Sure, he goes through the usual motions seen in others, like sitting in his chair, downing copious amounts of whatever was left in his liquor cabinet. And, of course, there's the stages of grieving: He's eternally stuck oscillating between guilt and anger.

He was supposed to be the one that got killed out here, him! Not you: Sweet, kind, patient, hard-headed, stupid-assed you! He got that, why couldn't God get with the program on that!? He was the dealer, the gang leader putting himself into all kinds of problems with others; you were just some innocent bystander who happened to get caught in his web, decide they liked it there, and inexplicably stuck around.

And now you're dead. He was being selfish, you were being stupid, and now you were dead.

He stares blankly at nothing before humming with a sip of whatever the hell is in his glass now, he doesn't fucking remember. Can't taste it anyway; his sense of taste disappeared, floated away with your spirit the moment he learned of your passing.

The pure-hearted soul that kept the village safe was gone; all that remained was the carnivorous beast, ready to rampage and raze the town to the ground.

9. Which one swears more?:

Just in time for the 20210 Summer Olympics, we have a new category to observe: Fucking Goddamn Cussing Up a Shitstorm! Representing Washington Heights, we have a cussing prodigy, Nevada Ramirez! Also representing Washington Heights by way of duel citizenship between the apartments, we have . . . You!

Okay but in all seriousness, Nevada is definitely the gold medal-winner here. Science indicates that cussing helps to relieve stress and for as collected as Nevada likes to appear in front of others, 5'9" is not a lot of space for stress to go. He's constantly bottling up that shit! What's worse, though, is that the fucker makes it sound elegant.

How does he make "fuck" sound so gentle when it leaves his lips with a cold-eyed glower!? Who the hell knows!

Erstwhile, you're a pretty good runner-up. Even if you were a big cusser before getting with Nevada, you could never catch up with him -- he's just had way too many experiences where he felt the need to pepper the ambience with some cursing. And if you weren't as into it before . . . I'm sorry, boo, but you'll be picking up that nasty habit of his like you were picking up the torch for the Cussing Olympics. Bon chance!

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other:

Noah . . . How did you know I was planning to do a preference on what characters watch with their S/Os? Not that I can confirm or deny that Nevada was in that one but --

Nevada didn't really watch TV a whole lot before you two got together. It was a mix of him not having a lot of time and him not having a lot of care to keep up with anything. Everything is so goddamn serialized, what's even the point?

Really, the only reason he bought subscriptions to streaming services was to keep you entertained for when he had to be out the house or some junk. But there were a few too many times where he'd come home late and find you curled up on the couch.

". . . The hell're you still doing up --"

"Ssh!"

". . . Did you just --"

"Yes, now sshhh! I'm about to see who this chick picks to go to bed with."

Of course, 'Vada is pissed; people don't shush him, he shushes them! What the fuck could be so interesting that you'd do that!? He takes his glare from you to the screen . . . and about thirty minutes in, he gets it. He'd never say it out loud, but deep down, he knows why you like Love Island. It's stupid, it's trashy, he hates these dumbass twenty-somethings making drama out of nothing, and for fuck's sake will somebody talk to the girl with the dark skin and short hair she's the hottest one there --

Of course, he tries hard not to show his interest, taking seats next to you when you're watching "because he's tired", adding his own commentary "because these pendejos need to know better", etc. And, of course, it doesn't fool you in the slightest. As amused as you are, though, you don't tease him about it; you're afraid that if you do, your stubborn boyfriend would put up a fight in the form of leaving you to watch your silly little show by yourself. And you really don't mind sharing the show with him . . . No, solitary watching is reserved for your cartoons.

Nevada may let things with you slip to a point but the moment he learns you like to watch anything animated, he's on your ass with the ruthless taunting. Which is like the pot calling the kettle black because 'Vada's secret pleasure is even worse: daytime soap operas. Admittedly, there's some sentimentality connected to them (he remembers being at his Abuela's house and seeing her get really into some telenovelas), but the fact of the matter is really more that he's invested in the drama and bullshit going on between all this lunatics who we're supposed to buy as being doctors or CEOs or whatever over-glamorized positions they're supposed to have.

He doesn't actually get to watch them often but . . . hey, that's what he pays certain grunts to do for him.

Okay I had way too much fun writing these so lemme just cut myself off now. Thanks for asking!!!

[oikawaplssteponme]

Hey so I hope you don't mind but I kinda have two reqs. So both will feature our favorite hot head Bakugou. The first one is a soulmate au where the reader is just like Bakugou but more towards the boys at her school Shiketsu but nice in general. So like UA and Shiketsu meet up for a practice match and they find out their soulmates and spar (you can really do it how you want). The second one is the same but rather than soulmates they are in a secret relationship, he gets Jealous and leaks it thx

hi hi!! thanks sm for the requests💕 im gonna post both in here so this might be a longer post :))

also for the soulmate prompt i decided to go with you have your soulmate’s initials tattooed on your wrist and they glow once you meet them :))

for the second one i also did that you are a student at Shiketsu High (hopefully that’s what you meant💕)

•

Tattoos

pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem! reader (however no pronouns are used)

warnings: swearing

genre: fluff

•

“It’s been a while since we’ve seen those UA kids,” said Camie.

“It will be an excellent challenge!” shouted Yoarashi. You chuckled and sat your feet on your desk.

“I can’t wait to show you and them up. It’ll be a good show,” you smirked.

“We will be on the same team Y/N!” huffed Yoarashi.

“Life’s a competition Inasa. Doesn’t matter whose team I’m on, I’ll win.”

Your school, Shiketsu High will be traveling to UA for a practice battle. Now that you all had your provisional licenses, you could use your quirks as much as you wanted. There was nothing you liked more than a good competition.

“Hey who knows, maybe we’ll get lucky and meet some cute new guys!” squealed Camie. You chuckled.

“Even when fighting you’re always thinking about your soulmate Cam.”

“Hey you should too! Aren’t you a bit curious whose initials are on your wrist?”

“Of course I am! But a million people could have the initials K.B. I’ll only know for sure if the tattoo glows,”

“Then better keep an eye out.”

Everyone is born with a tattoo of their soulmate’s initials on their wrist. To avoid soulmate confusion, when you’ve come face to face with your soulmate, the tattoos will glow, indicating you’ve found your match.

~

It was the morning of the practice battle and you were boarding your bus.

“Move it,” you groaned at the boys in your class. You took a seat next to Camie on the bus.

The ride was long but you had finally made it to the infamous UA High. You were beyond excited to get to work.

“This school has no right being so nice,” you mumbled. You and your school were guided to your designated locker room, in order to change into your hero costumes. After, you walked over to the training ground.

For some strange reason, your tattoo had been itching since you got to UA. You tried to pay it little attention though.

You stood outside the training ground, jumping from excitement. You awaited for an announcement over the loud speaker.

“You may now enter the training ground. UA versus Shiketsu High starts now.”

You ran so quickly into the training ground. Your blood rushing with adrenaline. You instantly spotted the UA students on the other side.

“Let’s do this.”

You activated your quirk of high speed and quick reflexes to get a jump on your opponent. The objective was similar to the provisional license exam, where you all had targets that you had to protect. Except you each only had one. One hit and you’re out. You ran towards a group of students.

“Damn shes fast-” you heard a red haired boy say, causing you to chuckle. You tapped on his shoulder.

“Think I can go faster?” You teased. By the time he had turned around, you already hit his target.

“Shitty hair, you’re out already?” laughed a classmate of his. The blond boy stood on some debris. He wore and black, orange, and green hero costume. He looked down at you with a cheeky smile.

“Guess he’s no match for me,” you laughed. The blond jumped down from where he was standing and began to walk towards you. You kept your guard up.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you out quickly to make up for it.”

“Oh I highly doubt that.”

The both of you raise your hands to throw the balls at each other’s targets, but stop before you let go. You looked up at your hand and took a peak at your wrist.

“H-Hey blondie what’s your name?” You asked nervously.

“Katsuki Bakugou. W-What’s yours?”

“Y/N L/N. Don’t tell me that-”

You looked up at him. Bakugou revealed a glowing wrist with your initials on it. You did the same.

“Well this isn’t really how I expected this to happen...” you mumbled.

“We can save the chitchat for later soulmate, I’m still gonna kick your ass,” he teased. You smiled.

“Funny of you to think you’ll be beating me.”

~

“Bus leaves in 5!” Announced one of your teachers. You gathered your bags.

“Hey-wait- uh Y/N, right?” a voiced said behind you. You turned around.

“Bakugou right?”

“Y-Yeah. Look I know that whole thing was kinda weird but-uh- here.” Bakugou handed you a small piece of paper.

“I’ll see you later soulmate,” you smiled. Bakugou chuckled.

“I’ll see you later dumbass.”

“Hey Y/N, we’re leaving,” called Camie. You looked at her, then back at Bakugou. You quickly gave Bakugou a peck on the cheek.

“At least we both ended up winners, right?” You smirked, before rushing to the bus.

•

Outburst

pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem! reader

warnings: swearing

genre: fluff

•

“Final exams are in a week and I just do not feel prepared at all,” you groaned. Bakugou chuckled.

“Should’ve gone to UA like I told you. We have finals in two weeks,” he smirked. You huffed.

“UA’s overrated,” you teased. Bakugou gave you a death glare but you shut him down with a pouty face.

“Get back to studying dumbass.”

You and your boyfriend Bakugou sat in a small cafe, attempting to get some studying done. Neither of you had told your friends about your relationship. Two students at the top of their respective classes at rival schools seemed like a mess to bring already into your complicated lives. You both felt there wasn’t much of a need to tell your friends. It wasn’t really any of their business anyway.

“Are you sure no ones gonna see us here?” whispered Bakugou. You chuckled.

“No, we’ll be okay. This is like an hour drive from UA and no one from Shiketsu even cares to study here. I promise we’ll be okay,” you reassured him. Bakugou looked over at the window that viewed the street. His eyes suddenly grew.

“Am I crazy or is that Shitty Hair and Dunce Face outside?” he mumbled. You perked up, carefully turing your head.

“Shit, that’s definitely them. Why the hell are they here?”

“And why is the rest of my class with them?” groaned Bakugou.

“Maybe they’ll leave.”

“Oh I’ll make them leave.” Bakugou got up from his seat and walked over to his classmates.

“What the hell are you extras doing here!?” He shouted.

“Woah Bakugou, question is what are you doing here?” asked Kirishima. Bakugou huffed.

“That is none of your damn business. Anyway I asked you first.”

“Well we decided to check this place out as a class. We couldn’t find you after school so I couldn’t ask.”

“Not like he would’ve said yes...” mumbled Kaminari.

“Watch it charge bolt.”

“Hey isn’t that Y/N? From Shiketsu?” pointed out Deku. Bakugou clenched his fists.

“Uh no-”

“Gosh she’s so cute, let’s go say hi,” suggested Sero. Before Bakugou could stop them, the group had bursted into the cafe.

“Yo Y/N! It’s been a minute hasn’t it?” smiled Kaminari. You chuckled nervously.

“Uh yeah it has been...”

“Why don’t you sit with us? I’d hate for you to be here all alone,” smiled Deku. You looked over at Bakugou, who looked like his head was going to explode.

“Oh that’s okay, I’ve really gotta get some studying done,” you explained.

“At least join us for a little bit-”

“No way!” blurted out Bakugou. Everyone’s eyes widened.

“Bakubro you okay-”

“No way I’m letting Y/N spend time with you idiots.” Bakugou walked over to you, resting his arms on your shoulders.

“Wait a minute, don’t tell me...”

“Yes we’re dating, no you may no sit with us. Now go away before I turn you to dust,” huffed Bakugou.

“We can all hang another time,” you smiled, holding onto Bakugou’s hand. His friends nodded, slowly backing away. Bakugou sat back down, letting out a big sigh.

“Jealous much?” You teased. He looked at you and chuckled.

“Oh I’ll show you jealous dumbass.”

•

[general taglist (form in masterlist) : @lealofsblog @iwaisa @bakugousmymassa @roesaurus @evivn1 @tetsoleil @bokutory @vangoghmusings @moonlightaangel @complimentaryhugsgirl @marajillana @bibly @big-phat-cat @sapphoscolonoscopy ]

[silkylious]

Fucking Imbecile (Bakugo Katsuki x Fem!Reader)

Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x Fem reader Warnings: Just a whole lotta fluff, light angst and comfort Prompt: #1 “Great. Now you’ve gone and fallen in love with her/him, you fucking imbecile”

A/N: Thank you @call-me-prodigy​ for the request! I hope you like this! 

A constant.

That’s what you’ve always been in his life. No matter the time, place or circumstances, you’ve always been there for him. He’d dubbed you a pebble on the side of the road for his feet to kick around, but much like his other childhood friend, it didn’t seem to perturb you in the slightest. Always wandering around with that dumb, carefree grin. Unlike Izuku though, you didn’t share his desire of becoming a hero. Violence just wasn’t for you, and even if there were a lot of rescue-centric heroes out there, fighting was still a huge part of the job. Besides, it wasn’t like you could be one even if you wanted to. You were quirkless after all. Your lack of interest in heroics didn’t mean you didn’t want to help people, however. Ever the true pacifist, you sought to make everyone’s day better, regardless of how big or small the effect may be, if your smile could brighten someone’s day even by a little bit then that was enough to satiate you. Which explains why throughout his childhood, despite him being a gigantic dickhead, you were a source of unconditional support and optimism in his life. A constant ray of blinding sunshine, livening his day up whether he asked for it or not.

The events that had just transpired left his brain reeling, struggling to catch up to reality. You looked like you were asking for help. Now that he wasn’t in the grips of the sludge villain, he was left to his own devices to overthink. Fucking Deku, I didn’t need help with that expired nickelodeon slime! He repeated over and over again, though it honestly felt like he was trying to reassure himself at this point. Katsuki was confident in his abilities (that’s a fucking understatement), but he couldn’t shake the feeling of actually being in the clutches of danger, no matter how many times he’d envisioned a scenario like this. People bumped into him from each direction, he didn’t feel them, eyes trained on his open palm. The pinnacle of his power couldn’t save him, yeah sure he stalled for a bit, but if All Might hadn’t showed up, both him and that shitty nerd would’ve been toast. That undeniable fact absolutely shook him. Before he could mentally crumble apart, a hand found his shoulder, stabilizing him in reality. So warm, so recognizable, it felt like home.

He turned around and was met with soft eyes, but they held no pity, no sympathy; they didn’t call him a weakling. They poured with understanding, pride and hope, as if telepathically telling him to learn from this experience, not take it to heart. You silently tugged at his sleeve, walking him towards his residence and he didn’t say no, he didn’t say anything at all. Just quietly watched your back as you lead the way, hand still lugging him along. Not once did you look back, and he decided that he wouldn’t either. He’d learn from this, and not look back; no reason to brood over what could’ve gone wrong.

When you went your separate ways (him to U.A. and you to a public high-school), he found it hard to adjust to your absence. Quirkless or not, he valued your presence in his life. He wouldn’t admit it to save his life, but he missed your encouraging smile, missed your comforting touch. He’d grown attached to you, you’d never once made him feel small, weak or pitiful, and you still managed to console him when he needed it most. Luckily for him, you lived next door.

He lost. To fucking Deku. That was certainly a first. What rubbed salt into his open wound were his other classmates, Katsuki was not accustomed to having actual competition. He was so used being first by a landslide, that his mind could barely compute not only his loss against Deku, but the sheer skill and strength some of his peers showed off. Like that Half-n-Half bastard. Fuck. Then that stupid nerd had to babble some bullshit about a borrowed quirk, was he mocking him? Did Deku seriously think he was dumb enough to believe shit like that?! He was standing in front of his home, refusing to go in, not when he still had fucking tears in his eyes.

“Katsuki?” Of fucking course, you had to show up now of all times. You seemed to have a habit of catching him at his lowest and it was pissing him off. He dried his eyes with his sleeve, he knew it was futile and his eyes were bloodshot anyway, but he refused to cry in front of you. At lest that was the plan.

“F-Fuck off!” His stammer severely dulled the insult. You ignored it, as per usual.

“What happened?” You persisted, approaching him until there was only a couple inches between you. His shaky breaths came out short, unrhythmic. You slowly lowered his forearm from his face, only to be greeted by his vermilion gems encased in angry red lines, clear indications that he was crying. Katsuki watched, waited for you to show any kind of that self-righteous pity, the kind he saw in Midoriya’s eyes, the kind that he full-heartedly loathed. But it never came, all he could see is patience and quiet succor, waiting for him to say his piece. “What happened, Katsuki?” You repeated. The addition of his given name softened him up way too much for his own comfort.

Fuck it. He blew off at the mouth, releasing all his frustrations and insecurities in one breath. Katsuki was screaming, shouting and yelling to his heart’s content. And you listened, not once did you intervene his venting session. When his voice became scratchy, his eyes watering again and not a coherent word came out of his mouth, that’s when you decided to step in. His unintelligible ramblings were cut off as you engulfed him in a tight hug.

“Listen to me, Katsuki. And I want you to listen good,” The words were whispered right into his ear, as if you were trying to push them directly through his subconscious. He stood there, stiff as a board as he took in your response, your arms holding him securely. “You’re strong and smart and hardworking, I know that better than anyone else. But you’re not flawless; nobody is, and that’s not a bad thing, its not a weakness. Tell me, don’t you want to be the strongest hero of them all? The best? The number one?” He, in a very uncharacteristic and meek fashion, gave you a single nod. “Then knowing your flaws and working on them is essential to that, don’t ya think? Losses, right now, aren’t weaknesses, Katsu. They’re steppingstones. You’re still learning, you still have so much room for improvement, and you can only improve by working on your flaws, yeah?”

Your voice was so gentle, so comforting, hands rubbing at his tense shoulders and back. He couldn’t help but wrap his muscled arms around you too, nodding his head as he planted it closer to the crook of your neck. Katsuki kept you in that position for god knows how long, breathing in your scent while letting your words sink in. He briefly contemplated the possibility of you having a quirk. A quirk that let’s you say the right things at the right time because goddamn you knew just how to lift his spirits.

“Thanks, nerd.” It was so faint that had it not been uttered into your neck, you probably wouldn’t have heard it. He tightened his hold on you for a split second before he completely let go and walked to his front door, entering and shutting the door behind him without sparing you a second glance. He stepped in feeling much more relieved, elated even, but he didn’t understand the rapid beating of his heart, nor did he want to dwell on it. It’s probably from all the yelling anyway.

On the other side, you stood with a serene smile, humming lightly with jubilation.

“You’re welcome, Katsuki.”

He’d seek you out whenever he wanted to rant about that fucking nerd or the Half-n-Half bastard, and you listened to his every word, giving your own comments whenever you felt they were needed. Somehow, despite going to different schools, the separation seemed to draw you closer together. You’d frequent his room, study with him, play video games with him, and sometimes you’d just lay there, silently cherishing each other’s company. Then he had to leave for the U.A. training camp.

“Take care, Katsu,”

“Yeah, yeah,” Crimson eyes fell on your form, he adjusted the duffel bag strap on his shoulder. Shifting his weight from one leg to the other, Katsuki contemplated his next move, awkwardly staring at your face while his mind went into overdrive. For fuck’s sake. You watched him curiously as he huffed aggressively, stomping over to you. He roughly pulled you into an embrace, if you could even call it that; it felt like he was trying to suffocate you.

“Stay safe, dumbass.” He grumbled, ending the affectionate gesture as soon as it had started.

It was supposed to be a get away resort to enhance the students’ quirks, but they got way more than they’d bargained for. You stayed up all night, gaze trained on the news channel as more and more updates filed in. They took him. They kidnapped him. Staring with tears in your eyes at the sight before you, blue flames licking at what was supposed to be a secret location. Your heart was palpitating wildly in your chest.

“Izuku!” The whole class turned around at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. You quickly shuffled past them, almost throwing yourself at Midoriya’s frame on the hospital bed. You cried into his chest, agony bleeding from your eyes as you pleaded, begged for him.

“Bring him back, please. Bring back our Kacchan, Izuku!” If his hands weren’t in casts, he would’ve clutched you impossibly closer. He was the only one who knew of your feelings for his childhood friend and seeing you like this added more fuel to the fire of determination in his eyes.

A week had passed, Katsuki was rescued and he hadn’t said a word to you since his arrival. You figured he needed time to think but god did you miss him, all you could think about is being in his arms, his presence, hearing his voice, anything that could assure you he was still here, alive and safe.

Late into the night, you couldn’t catch a wink of sleep, too preoccupied with the aftermath of everything that had happened one week ago. There was a knock at your door. Your parents were well asleep, so you were left to see who would be here at this ungodly hour. Looking through the small peephole, your eyes caught sight of spiky ash blonde hair. The door was swung open, Katsuki didn’t have time to react before you flung yourself at him and he nearly lost his balance from the impact. He’d never seen you this shaken up (you were always so calm and collected) and it fucking hurt so you like this, because of him, because he wasn’t strong enough, because his weak ass couldn’t save himself-

“I missed you so much, K-Katsuki,” You were sniffling and hiccupping all over his shirt, but he couldn’t care less about that. His attention was drawn to you, the state you were in, he didn’t even return your hug, all he could think about was how pathetic and weak he was. Immediately, you picked up on his lack of reaction, how his head was bowed in shame, how his hands limply hung at his sides. You’d seen him in this exact position countless times before and you knew what you had to do. Sat on your couch, the silence was deafening, vastly different to the air of tranquility you usually shared. Katsuki decided to speak first.

“It was my fault–”

“Katsu–”  

“Let me finish.” You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from interjecting his speech. But god, it was so hard to keep quiet when he was berating himself like this. He poured his heart out to you, each word so damning, so broken. Every syllable that fell from his lips cut through you; you couldn’t bear to see him like this. You could only imagine the sheer anguish lurking inside him, his idol retired to save him, even just the thought made your chest hurt. Tears painted his face, yours too. By the time he’d gone mute, you had him in your grip, rocking him gently as you tried to recollect your thoughts.

“Katsuki,” You started, voice faint and barely a whisper. “I don’t know exactly what happened there, but… if there is anyone to blame for this, it’s the villains,” His head was buried in your chest, tears still cascading down his face and into the material of your shirt. “And honestly, I don’t think anything you could have done would have changed the outcome at all. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Katsu. If anyone else was in your place, I doubt it would’ve changed anything for the better. Honestly, I feel like this was probably the best case scenario, it’s still shitty but at least you’re alive and safe. All Might’s alive, your classmates are all safe. All the damage was the villains’ fault, not yours. Please don’t beat yourself up over this, it was out of your control…” Your voice trembled as another barrage of water conquered your eyes. Your hands ran through his soft follicles, trying to soothe the hurricane that was stampeding through both of you.

That strange sensation in his gut began to arise again as you shed tears of empathy for him, the beating in his heart accelerating considerably. You remained that way, in each other’s embrace, until you both fell into slumber and your parents woke you up the next day. As Bakugo said his goodbye to you and watched you close the door with a stupidly cute bedhead, he realized something. Something that explained the annoying flutter of his heart whenever you called him that stupid nickname, the overwhelming desire to be near you at all times and why he only ever let you break through his defense, bringing down his fortified walls brick by brick.

Katsuki facepalmed.

“Great. Now you’ve gone and fallen in love with her, you fucking imbecile.”

After his move to the U.A. dorms, your rendezvous had become a lot less frequent. He found himself thinking about you way more than he’d like to admit, unbeknownst to him you were thinking about him just as much, if not more. You’d send him a text daily asking how he was, fussing over his well-being and making sure he’s okay. And the times you did meet up, things would be… off with him. With the revelations about his own feelings recognized (finally), Katsuki found himself noticing small things about you, ticks and habits most people wouldn’t bat an eye at, but he did. He found himself struggling not to blush whenever you shared a goodbye hug, or when you would lean over to look at his notebook during your study sessions, coming dangerously close to his face. You’d picked up on his change of attitude too but didn’t comment on it. It sent butterflies soaring in your chest, head high above the clouds every time that adorable pink would grace his devilishly handsome face, yet you couldn’t risk it. What you had with Katsuki was precious to you but also to him, you didn’t want to ruin one of the only true friendships he had for the sake of your own feelings.

Katsuki finally grew the balls to tell you (after an onslaught of teasing from the Baku-squad when they caught wind of his crush). He was over at your place for the weekend, you spent the whole day playing video games (ahem getting your ass kicked), watching crappy horror movies and just enjoying each other’s company. He loosened up the more time went on, reminding himself to savor every waking moment with you by his side, never again would he take you for granted.

You were on your third horror film, competing to see who would get scared first. The plot in this one wasn’t all that horrible if you were being honest, it had completely captivated you, so much so that you couldn’t see the smirk on Katsuki’s face or how his hand had sneaked around the back of the couch to reside behind your shoulders, waiting for the right moment to strike. The scene was building up to a climax, Katsuki side eyed you as you leaned forward, too engulfed in the movie to be aware of your surroundings. And then–

“AHHH!”

An all too embarrassing shriek left your throat, you’d never live that one down. Katsuki was laughing his ass off as your brain tried to register what had just happened. And when it finally clicked, you were ready to beat his ass into oblivion. Jumping into his lap without thinking about it, you began throwing punches at his chest (that honestly felt like getting tickled to him), which substantially increased his laughter until there were tears in his eyes. “You asshole! why would you do that?!” Your indignant cry only served to make him laugh harder until he sounded like a seal doing a mating call. His atypical glee was contagious and you found yourself chuckling along, hands no longer jabbing at his pecs, rather resting peacefully over them, feeling his chortles in overwhelming detail.

When the dust had settled and your chuckles died down, both of you became infinitely conscious of the position you were in. Both of your faces suddenly aflame with realization. When you went to break the close proximity between you, he surprised both of you by securing his hands on your hips, keeping you in place. The fiery red adorning his cheeks was a comical contrast to the determined scowl on his face. His knuckles were turning white as he dug his digits into your sides, steeling himself.

“(n-name), I like you… a lot,” Katsuki wished he could stare at anything but your face, yet he forced himself to watch your reaction. “I-I wanna be more than friends–”

Not another letter passed through his lips before you molded them with your own, sealing that as your response. His hands relaxed a bit, moving up to your waist and kneading the soft skin there. When you pulled a part, you’ll never forget the sight of the small grin of genuine elation on his face, not taking a second to reciprocate it.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 277: Go Go Child Soldiers

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “hey guys I’m going to kill off Aizawa” and we were like “no you’re not” and he was like “watch me, I’m really gonna do it!!” and we were all “DO NOT” and he was all “okay okay geez.” I don’t know if he thinks he’s being cute or what, but we will probably have to have a little talk after this. Anyway, so other stuff that happened included the obligatory news copter showing up to record the carnage so that All Might and Eri can watch; Tomura activating some Approximately High End Noumus to serve as cannon fodder to distract all the hero extras; and Gran dropping off Kacchan and Deku a little ways away from the battle and being all “stay here”, which was IMMEDIATELY and PROFOUNDLY ignored as they just FLEW RIGHT BACK OVER TO THE BATTLE anyway to save Aizawa. Yep. Kacchan really wants to lose that quirk.

Today on BnHA: Tomura, Deku, Kacchan, and Endeavor all take turns flinging each other into the ground and launching fire and explosions and stuff, all of which is impressively violent and doesn’t really get anything accomplished. The grown-ups all collectively decide to shrug off Deku and Kacchan joining in on the fight as though they’re teenagers sneaking into an R-rated film as opposed to CHILDREN on a BATTLEFIELD, and I can’t help but feel like this very nonchalant decision will have some serious consequences! Tomura has a moment of self-awareness in which he’s all “is AFO possessing me lol” before deciding “NAH THAT CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE” which, haha, okay. The chapter then ends with Mt. Lady unsettlingly taking on Gigantomachia ALL BY HERSELF??! which seems like a REALLY TERRIBLE IDEA?? and had better not result in anything bad happening to her though or I SWEAR TO GOD.

ooooooooh!

preview of the final battle, anyone? and I feel like this panel is deliberately drawn to resemble All Might and AFO’s iconic battle at Kamino as well, which ramps up the intensity all the more. very nice

and shout out to Aizawa for making this moment possible with his quirk! I have to assume this isn’t something we’re gonna get the chance to see too often moving forward, unless he decides to chaperone all future battles from here on out, which would be good for the kids but also very stressful for me

anyways, so... lol

it really is almost as though Gran asked them this question and then Deku was like “OOH! I KNOW!” and then just leaped into action to demonstrate. “this!! him getting ahold of me, right?? this would be so much worse.” good job Deku

although

he’s not wrong, though. dammit. I mean, I’ve already tacitly endorsed their involvement by approving of them saving Aizawa’s life. you know, for that brief span of time after Aizawa showed up and before we knew how powerful Tomura would still be even without his quirks, I really thought that Aizawa losing his own quirk was all but an inevitability. now, though, it kinda feels like they absolutely wouldn’t stand a chance without him?? hahaha

honestly it’s a little uncomfortable to think about the fact that the Child Soldiers That We All Agree Should Under No Circumstances Be A Part Of This War have so far a) saved Hawks’s life and b) now saved Aizawa’s, and by extension c) saved the entire world. I mean but don’t get me wrong, you still won’t see me writing the HPSC any thank you cards any time soon

anyway now that I’ve said all that, watch Aizawa just immediately lose his fucking quirk right afterwards though. WE’LL SEE

...sigh

why is every last one of the pros so utterly goddamn useless. sorry, was that a bit harsh. I’ll try to phrase it more gently. what I meant to say was, why is every single non-Mirko adult person on this mission about as useful as a RoseArt crayon. why do they all SUCK so HARD. why are they BAD. bad!! they’re just bad!!!

anyways but back to Deku

I’m torn between SOBBING FREELY at this and banging my head against a wall lmao. help please my green son is so loving and brave and so tremendously stupid, just

this is true! and by the way though Deku, just remind me again, I spaced it out just now, what was the reason Tomura was out here to get ambushed by Aizawa and the others in the first place? he was after... something? one for... the road? one for the money? one flew over the cuckoo’s nest?? damn what was it

damn it Aizawa stop dumping your feels in the middle of my sarcastic rants

bro. I know, right?? listen I’m proud of him too don’t get me wrong! the unfortunate thing is though that right now he’s not just your student; he’s also -- and it’s not your fault you don’t know this yet though -- The Thing That Tomura Wants Right Now, On A Silver Platter. so yeah. hence why I am concerned

oop no time to talk though cuz my boys are doing a ~*~COMBO THING~*~ ooooooooh yeahhhhhhh

look at that. “okay Deku you just hold him there and try not to get shot.” truly dazzling teamwork there

LISTEN, YOU!!

THE DISRESPECT?? ooh man and look at his face. this is the happy reunion I’ve been waiting oh my god oh my god

LOL

YEAH HE CAN DO THAT NOW HAHA. while you were off getting all transcendent he was mastering his BLOOP now what huh take that

...sob he’s just yanking Deku along behind him as if he weighs nothing. it’s like that one fancomic of the entire Bakusquad trying to stop an angry Kirishima --

-- HOLY SHIT I SAID “WHOA” ALOUD

MEEP THAT’S CLOSE. whew. okay. breathe. breathe

OH IT’S YOU AGAIN

you guys, is it just me or has this entire battle so far just been one long loop of -> Deku tries to fight Tomura -> Kacchan goes with -> Kacchan almost dies -> an adult intervenes at the last possible second -> Endeavor tries to fight Tomura -> Endeavor almost dies -> Deku tries to fight Tomura -> repeat ad infinitum

anyway so Tomura’s actually going flying into the ground now. that probably came within a hair’s breath of actually nearly almost mildly hurting him! way to go guys keep it up!

and Endeavor’s now echoing a question which many fans have been asking these last few weeks, “where’s Shouto?” where indeed. off somewhere not being a dumbass like these two, one hopes. maybe sticking his arm down some Not Quite High Ends’ throats and making them hibernate

lord help us Tomura’s actually stopped fighting for two seconds to monologue. is this good or bad??

is this a deliberate tactic? are you trying to buy time?? I don’t like this lol. why did they stop fighting you now that they’ve finally almost sort of got an edge on you

wow we’re really just... letting the kids fight, huh

just letting them be right there in formation with Endeavor. no one stops to think “are there any actual adult people we could try and swap out in place of these two high school freshmen?” because they already know the answer is “no there are not” SIGH

EVEN AIZAWA OMG

AND WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT?? “la la la we’re not gonna think about it.” goddammit I liked it when you guys were at least trying to pretend like the sixteen-year-olds shouldn’t be here fdslkfjlk

anyway. for what it’s worth, at least we’ve got the only three people in the world who ever tried to surpass All Might standing up here ready to take on the guy whose strength and toughness is approximately the same as his. that’s something. I guess this really is our best shot

YES WE GET IT

“I GUESS IT CAN’T BE HELPED” should be the goddamn chapter title. either that or “SHRUG, CHILD SOLDIERS, I GUESS!!!”

anyway so he’s telling Deku and Kacchan not to ask for direction in one breath, and then giving them orders right away with the next

djsalfkj. welp. you heard him Kacchan. guard Deku no matter what. this will definitely end well

KLDSKFLKSHG MEANWHILE!!!

DON’T MIND HIM HE’S JUST POSSESSED BY A LITTLE BIT OF AFO-SOUL. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

oh man he actually looks freaked out??!

like he has no idea what happened just now. I’m sorry, up until this point were you thinking that having echo-y “wooooo... One for All... go get it~~” voices inside your head was perfectly normal?? lol boy he’s been playing you this whole time and he’s still playing you. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU IGNORE YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S EERIE DREAM WARNINGS. YOU GET POSSESSED

meanwhile!! both Deku and Tomura reacting at the same time! DO YOU BELIEVE ME THAT THEY SHARE A MENTAL LINK YET. hmm hmm hmm anyway

so now Tomura is straight up in denial!

sadly I’m growing more and more convinced that he’s wrong on all three accounts there. you may think it’s your power and your body...

and wait though, because this is the first time that the idea of him not being in control of his body has actually been brought up, isn’t it? so that’s a nice big red flag there! up until now the argument could be made that even if AFO’s will is manipulating Tomura from behind the scenes and influencing his decisions, there was nothing to indicate that AFO could potentially take over his entire body. but now that Tomura has brought it up as a possibility -- even if he’s in denial about it -- I’d say it’s not only possible, but extremely likely! so that’s a nice big thing looming on the horizon there

and it also in turn gives us a potential solution to the question of “how can this battle possibly end without all of the heroes dying and/or Tomura losing?” because one has to assume that Aizawa’s quirk is going to be taken out of the picture at some point, whether it’s because of him blinking at the wrong time or being shot with a bullet or what. at which point Tomura would basically become unstoppable again and be free to just destroy everything like he wants. but now this introduces the possibility of him potentially taking himself out of the picture for the time being. like if he realizes that he’s in danger of being outright possessed, I could see him leaving them for now and running off to go wage mental war with himself for a while, giving the heroes some time to regroup and lick their wounds. so that’s interesting to think about

holy shit!!

okay so just a couple of things I want to take note of here before we read on

“I don’t want to become like you” -- I think we can take this as confirmation that Tomura will fight against AFO if and when he realizes he’s being manipulated. his loyalty to him isn’t completely blind. so that could have some potentially huge implications moving forward

this image of Tomura being on the inside of AFO’s body, in what looks to be the same mental landscape from chapter 270, though. ...yeah. just who is really in charge, here

anyway so his next thought on page 11 is “I want to be even greater than you”, echoing Deku (and Kacchan’s) desire to be even greater than All Might, which is yet another nice parallel between them

and he’s basically telling the AFO voice inside him to shut up now, as if it will actually listen

yep. you want to go after One for All for your own deeply personal reasons. not following your master’s whims at all, nope. you are your own man

so now finally Gran is getting in on the action!

no idea why he want after the arm though. as if a broken arm ever stopped anyone in this fucking manga

OOOH NANA NAME DROP

???? um??? your dead grandma??? remember???!! don’t tell me you don’t at least recognize your own fucking last name there?? that is significant and don’t try to tell me otherwise! and in a chapter about you being rebellious and trying to defy AFO’s will, besides!!

holy shit

1. THE GRAN/TOSHINORI FATHER/SON FEELS I WASN’T READY!!, and 2. HOLY SHIT THIS OLD MAN IS RIPPED, THOUGH

AND HERE COMES ENDEAVOR NOW TO RUIN EVERYTHING SOMEHOW, PROBABLY

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT FACE MEANS BUT IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T A GOOD FACE I CAN TELL YOU THAT

OH NO SOMEHOW DEKU GOT INVOLVED AGAIN LOL

DIDN’T I TELL YOU IT WAS A NEVERENDING LOOP OF A FIGHT. SO NEXT UP IS KACCHAN JOINING IN AND THEN ALMOST DYING AGAIN

OH MY GOD

NEVER. ENDING. LOOP oh god oh god. next time don’t loudly shout “HE’S JUST THE BAIT” before launching your surprise attack you dingus!!

HOLY MOLY

OKAY BUT

I don’t know about you but I am hella impressed that he managed a blast like that without blowing his own fucking arm off

with the exception of that one time he got all excited and tried to vaporize Todoroki during the sports festival, we have almost never seen Katsuki go all out against anyone, and the possibility that we might be about to see it now is THRILLING. I AM THRILLED

NOW WE’RE CUTTING TO ENDEAVOR AND HE’S FLASHING BACK TO THE SHORT SPEECH ALL MIGHT GAVE HIM WAY BACK WHEN ABOUT THEM BEING DIFFERENT AND ABOUT HOW ENDEAVOR SHOULD FIND HIS OWN PATH RATHER THAN TRYING TO BE THE SAME KIND OF SYMBOL AS ALL MIGHT. AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS IS OR WHY IT’S BEING BROUGHT UP NOW BUT OH GOLLY!

(ETA: I guess it might be because Endeavor -- unlike All Might -- isn’t facing Tomura alone but is working together with the kids to do this combo? like it’s a teamwork thing? I don’t really know lol I’ll think on it some more.)

LOL WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING. lol everything is either being exploded or on fire

KFFLSLLK “MEANWHILE”?????

OH NO OH GOD

SIGHING OUT LOUD AGAIN!! not because I’m disappointed to cut away from the Kacchan Loses His Quirk Battle (in due time!!), but because this means that yet again I’m going to have to spend a chapter worrying about Horikoshi killing off one of the TWELVE remaining living female pro hero characters he has, of which one is a healer, another is retired and working as a secretary, yet another only seems to do TV commercials, yet another another currently has... I want to say two limbs?? but I’m not even sure anymore, and lastly two more yet anothers are currently WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN and MAY ALREADY BE DEAD. so if you’re counting, that’s a full HALF of what was already maybe only a fifth of the total pro hero population in general

all of which is to say that IF YOU SO MUCH AS LAY A FINGER ON MT. LADY I WILL FUCKING END YOU HORIKOSHI. we are NOT HAVING THAT. you hear me?? YOU CAN’T SPEND ALL OF YOUR FREE TIME DRAWING MIRKO ALL OVER THE PLACE AND BEING ALL “I FUCKING LOVE GIRL POWER” ONLY TO GO AND BE ALL “OH BUT I KILLED MT. LADY THOUGH WHOOPS”!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? THIS AIN’T IT

sigh. and yet why do I have a very bad feeling about this. hopefully I’m just overreacting. please don’t sully this amazing arc!! MANGA GODS, I OFFER YOU THIS PRAYER

[mihidecet]

Sbi&Co d&d AU: Fundy & Niki

AKA: Tibi's MCYT WritingTober, day 23!

SURPRISE!! As for @spout1nk and @awebo 's lovely requests, here is the chapter where we get to meet Fundy and Niki!!

This is also, once again, a fill for @the-only-gamer-gost 's list of prompts!! I got myself another free day aahahah

I do hope you'll like it! And as always, make sure you check out @whatimevendoinhere 's stunning drawings!!! They made art of Fundy and it is so good yall.

It starts like this: the whole gang is looking for a new job to tackle, with Techno, Tommy and Tubbo looking at the town's mission board and Wilbur and Phil needling the town's guard for more high profile tasks.

Half an hour later, a bored and disappointed trio meet up with a radiant Wilbur and an impressed Phil.

They have a job and the pay is five times higher than normal.

Apparently some dumbass has been running around the county, scamming nobles with fake artifacts and cursed precious objects. The nobles are mad, they want their coins back and the scammer in jail - or possibly worse -, and they are willing to pay an embarrassingly high amount of coin for it to be done quickly and quietly. Quietly being the highest requirement.

And that is how the SleepyBois start tracking this infamous scammer down.

First, they find all of the victims.

That alone takes them a while, because nobles are tricky to navigate and scorned nobles are even worse - and somehow these scammed nobles all seem to be not that good people, if the way they treat the adventurers trying to help them is any indication.

Still, one may assume that spending a lot of platinum coins on things that turn out to be fake and haunted might make you a bit … confrontational.

Also, they're going to make a lot of coins out of this job, so it's not like they're going to say anything.

Then, they buy a new, spotless map of the region with about a quarter of their collective coins - “Philza Greenwood we should have accepted the one from the kind old lady.” “You know that was cursed, we’re not doing this again.” - and start writing down every location hit.

It’s not that hard, once they put Tubbo to work, to find a handful of possible towns their target is going to hit.

It's honestly impressive how quickly he's able to narrow their options down, sending Techno and Wilbur out for recon missions to specific locations, guiding the whole team in a weirdly familiar way; straightforward and decisive like Techno, gentle and responsible like Phil, switching between the two attitudes as easy as he breathes.

Wilbur's only seen him like this when he works on his creations before, and it's amazing how quickly he gets over the initial sheepishness and steps into his role.

Everything is good and wonderful and he fits perfectly into the team, and this is just another proof of it.

The only bad thing about the whole situation is how bloody smug Tommy is, since it had been his idea to let Tubbo handle the planning - the kid can gloat, Wilbur's got to give him that, even if he is right in doing that.

Ever since the two childhood best friends had reunited, Tommy has been … more. Not in a bad way - no matter how much Techno jokingly groans about it -, but it's evident how much there was something weighing on the kid's mind before this.

But right now it's not really the best time to think about this.

A couple of nights ago, Tubbo had narrowed the list of possible new noble families that were going to be hit down to a single name. An old timey, very strict and reclusive family, now mainly composed of two grandparents and an impressive array of disowned young adventurers, and workers of all types. Reasons for disowning were many and varied and all a bit ridiculous.

Apparently having a bad temper and even worse record of mistreating everyone around you was the common denominator for all the people being targeted, alongside having an extremely absurd amount of coin.

Phil knows, he's seen it in Wilbur's eyes the moment Tubbo told everyone his deductions, that the tiefling would be more than happy with just letting the scammer go with a slap on the wrist. Everyone is slowly leaning towards that, Phil himself is too, but he's not really going to mention that yet, especially as they're all gearing up to stalk the scammer back to their hideout.

Especially since they can't really let this chance go: the fact that Tubbo was able to narrow their options down to a single family means that if this isn't it, they'll have to start from scratch.

When they leave the tavern, packed light and ready for the expected stealth, it's a couple of hours before dawn.

Everyone is thankfully able to see in the dark - even Tubbo, who is a human like Tommy, since he used his knowledge of glass-making and arcane enchantments to forge himself some night vision goggles - and they move quickly in the shadows, their silhouettes hidden even more due to one of Phil's spells.

This is also the first time Tubbo's bees aren't making any sound - apparently their buzzing is purely aesthetic.

Reaching the family's manor is not hard nor it takes longer than expected, which is quite unusual considering their experiences. Once they reach their destination, they hide near the entrance then Techno vanishes - probably gone inside the main gates to see if their target has already arrived.

About fifteen excruciating minutes later, Techno reappears, one hand already on Tommy's mouth to prevent him from yelping in surprise and reveal their position. The fact that he is perfectly correct in his assumption doesn't prevent him from receiving a swift kick to the shin.

"He's inside. Seems human, dressed like a scammer would be dressed. Or a very extravagant seller. Showing off a floating statue." Techno relies the information as he rubs the now sore spot on his leg, side eyeing a very offended Tommy while Tubbo is red faced almost to the point of tears as he desperately tries not to burst out laughing.

"Good job." Phil confirms, trying very hard to stay focused on the task - this all is extremely useful information, both in case of a possible fight breaking out and because in all the time they've been searching for the scammer, they've had nothing but mixed information from their targets.

One time it's a sweet looking cleric, another time they're a buff half orc, then it's a tiefling with a missing horn- every time something new, but the only constants have been the extravagant clothing choices and them being a magic user.

Wilbur punches the air with gusto, conveying silently what everyone is more or less feeling, and then they resign themselves to some uncertain amount of time of patiently and quietly waiting.

Phil has a spell to hide them again ready for whenever they hear somebody getting close.

Techno takes the time to meditate.

Wilbur is tapping a finger against his leg with his eyes closed, so he's probably writing a song in his mind.

Tubbo is taking notes on his notebook, planning another upgrade for his crossbow.

Tommy is about to vibrate out of his skin.

Everything according to plan.

Then, finally, Phil hears footsteps approaching the gates.

He casts his spell, shadows elongating from the trees they are hiding in, wrapping around them, covering them, fake greenery taking form in front of them- and everyone is instantly on edge.

"Are you sure you don't want a totem? They're good luck! They'll protect you against evil spirits - those old crooks must be beacons for them!" A quick paced voice reached their ears, and Techno's dagger is already out.

A much quieter voice answers - only Phil manages to catch the irritated negative answer, but everyone hears the gates being slammed shut.

There's more footsteps, then their target enters most of their views.

The man - probably? - takes some steps, back straight and shoulders moving with a light chuckle - when his eyes stray towards them.

He blinks once, twice, then his eyes switch colour.

He stops in his tracks.

Raises a hand and gives a quick wave.

"Uhm … cya!" And then he disappears, vanishing into thin air.

Techno curses loudly next to Tommy.

"Wilbur-"

The tiefling stands up and his eyes turn pure black as he raises a hand towards the place where he disappeared, muttering a quick song under his breath before calling out:

"Tubbo!"

A bolt from the kid's crossbow flies in the direction Wilbur's pointing at a split second later.

It flies, but doesn't strike true, barely grazing the scammer's jacket as the man moves out of its way. Right into Techno's thrown dagger which hits him right in the side.

There's a loud, weirdly pitched "shit!" coming from the empty air in the space in front of them, then nothing but the sound of someone fleeing as silently as they can.

Instead of following suit, like one would expect, the rest of the group turns towards Techno, who's holding his dagger - now back into his hand - and mouthing a prayer against the stained blade.

There's a light humm coming from nowhere and everywhere that echoes in Techno's mind for a moment, then he opens his eyes.

"So, do you have him?" Tommy asks, feeling the urge to pursue their target itching under his skin.

"Yup, I've got him. Nice job with the crossbow, Tubbo." Techno answers, shooting a small smile to his short companion, who shakes his weapon proudly.

"It's quite easy to shoot in order to make people move a certain direction, you know, once you know what to do!"

Tracking down the scammer is quite easy now that Techno has cast his tracking spell on him.

They wait for a moment, reconvene, make sure they have everything they need and then they start moving.

They don't have to walk much, as Techno lets them know that their target has stopped moving and they're getting closer extremely quickly.

In the end, it's a small, cute looking wooden house that they reach. It seems small and well kept, with clean windows and bright flowers on the outside. It's a bit hidden amongst a thicker part of the forest, but it gets enough light to be comfortably illuminated.

Wilbur figures the scammer ran and hid here, in hope of either having them lose his tracks or to maybe use a civilian as human shield.

Phil gestures towards the house, to which Techno answers with a decisive nod, so the elf approaches the door and knocks.

"Hello?" A feminine, accented voice answers from behind the door.

"Hi, I'm very sorry to disturb you, we're a group of adventurers looking for a runaway criminal, have you perhaps seen anyone suspicious running around?" There's a beat of silence, then a long, drawn out humm.

"I'm very sorry but I don't think I can help you with that? I was busy baking inside, I haven't seen anyone." The voice answers back, seemingly sheepish and apologetic.

Wilbur takes a step forward, shooting a glance towards a suspicious looking Techno.

"Our apologies, but would you mind letting us rest inside your abode for a little while? We've been out all night looking for clues, and we will pay you for your kindness."

After a slightly longer than expected pause, the sound of keys jingling reachea the team's ears.

"Oh, yes, of course. It's a bit small here, but- We can make it fit."

Phil knows enough Celestial to recognise the accent in the woman's voice; seeing her almost aethereal being open the door cements in Phil's mind the fact that yes, the person in front of him is of Celstial descent - that, and the dusting of silver and golden freckles across her face.

"Oh my, there- there's a lot of you."

Phil gives a sheepish smile, an apology ready on his lips - she is hiding their target, for some reason, but that doesn't mean he's going to be rude about it - but Tommy is already striding towards the entrance.

"We'll be good and squeeze together, promise!" He exclaims, quickly hitting Wilbur in the side with his elbow as he passes him.

The tiefling shoots him a murderous glare, which instantly disappears and turns into a kind smile the instant he realises that the aasimar woman is looking at him questioningly.

"Are you all part of the same group?" She asks as they shuffle in. The house is slightly bigger than expected, with everything looking both very clean and very lived in - books left open on a table, a chair that hasn't been set back, a blanket thrown on an armchair instead of being folded properly. It's homely.

There are a couple of colourful looking birds flying around the place, and they instantly flock to Phil the moment he enters the kitchen - following the woman's instructions. To be fair, there are plenty animals hanging out in the whole house: he's sure he heard a squirrel running in the corridor, and there were a couple of tortoises in the living room.

And then, on the window sill next to the kitchen table there is a fox, sleeping curled up under the sun. Techno, on edge from the tracking and the oncoming social interactions, really envies the tranquil animal.

"Is there anything you need? Something to drink, maybe? I was making some bread, so-" the woman starts, taking out a still smoking loaf. Everyone but Phil is instantly glowing: how often are you offered freshly baked bread? And mostly for free? That really is something special, that must be surely cherished.

And yet, Phil is not looking at the woman - who is still yet to introduce herself - but at the fox. Still sleeping peacefully, after they'd opened a single eye at the sound of strangers entering the room.

"That is very kind of you, miss …?" Wilbur asks, eyes constantly switching between the offered food and the stranger's face.

"Oh, you can call me Niki."

Phil moves closer to the fox with a small smile, one bird still perched on his shoulder, and extends a hand slowly, hoping not to startle the animal.

The fox blinks slowly at the fingers floating right in front of their eyes, then huffs and moves their head so that Phil can start giving them little scratches, tail swishing lazily - all this, while the rest of the team does a round of introductions.

"Niki, your fox is adorable." Phil comments after a moment, while the others are eagerly helping out Niki in finding a knife to cut slices of bread with and honey, which apparently she makes herself.

"Ah yeah, thank you. His name is Fungi." She answers with a small smile, making Phil chuckle. The fox's tail keeps swishing from side to side, probably to convey his appreciation of the continuous pets he's receiving, but one of his front legs seems to not be making any movement. A quick, focused, look confirms his suspicions.

"Oh dear, he seems hurt. Let me heal him for you." Phil comments, worry colouring his tone, as he focuses his intent into the palm of his hand, lightly resting on the injured limb.

As his magic knits back muscle and tissue and blod cells, Phil watches intently as the stab wound shrinks and then disappears. Then, he picks the fox up, cradling him in his arms as Niki gets closer, a look of deep worry on her face - one of the first true emotions she's shown since they got there, Phil notices, which only serves to confirm his suspicions.

"Oh, thank you so much, I'm so very glad, he just keeps getting into messes!"

There's a moment of pause, then Phil starts scratching the fox's chin - his tail starts wagging noticeably quicker.

"Did you know foxes are known for their cunning, but they're actually pretty dumb?" Phil starts, prompting everyone to turn towards him in shock and deep confusion.

Phil merely chuckles.

"You agree, right, little guy? I can see it in your eyes, there's nothing going on in that little brain of yours, right?" He teases, cooing at the little animal before- in a mix of slightly disturbing deformations and a blink-and-you-miss-it transformation - the fox in his arms suddenly enlarges, his limbs elongating and face rounding out.

Now, this would have probably come as a big surprise to akl but instead it looks quite funny because the moment the small fox becomes a human sized man with for ears, all the instantly added weight crashes into Phil and sends them crashing down to the ground.

But since they've all gotten used to a skinchanger moving from their human form to their animal one, one way or another, all that remains is the hilarouns scene of a laughing out loud Phil sprawled on the ground with their red faced, extremely irritated target kneeling on top of him.

"Fuck you, man! That was so mean!"

For a moment everyone is just staring at each other, trying to understand what has happened, until when Techno speaks up.

"Well I guess we found our scammer."

[corruptedconfessions]

hey there! could i request a yandere dragon bakugou (hcs or scenario, ur choice!) where he comes back to his den to find his darling missing? he leaves to go look for her and finds her on her way back to the den with a bag in tow, full of shiny objects for his hoard. she went back to her home, perhaps it was a cabin of sorts where she was keeping the items should she need to sell them for money, (1/2)

abbut now that she’s with him she doesn’t exactly need them anymore and decides he would appreciate having it more? for the plot (and angst) maybe she got a little scratched up during the trek and is sporting a few cuts or bruises when he finds her. i absolutely love your writing, and if this is too much i totally understand, you can ignore it! hope you’re doing alright!!! (2/2) 

Thank you so much! And thank you for your patience im sorry this took me forever ToT

I did a little bit of both! I hope you dont mind. 

-When Bakugou comes back to the den from a hunt and finds you gone he is going to be p i s s e d

-He thought the two of you had finally gotten past this little game where you would run away and make him have to come chase you down, but clearly he hadn’t nailed it into that stupid brain of yours enough

-Don’t you know how dangerous it is out in those woods without him to protect you? A fragile little thing like you would get squashed in seconds without him there to protect you from everything...including youself in some cases

-Originally he is stewing as he abandons his kill to stalk out into the forest to find you, already thinking of punishments to unleash on you once he drags your ass back to the den, stewing about ways to make sure they stick this time

-All that melts away after about 10 minutes

-In the past he has always immediately been able to find you, your clumsy human foot steps or scent always immediately alerting him to where you went and where you are. Even when he plays with you and lets you run longer to get that energy out and show you how hopeless it really is to run for him he’s never had you out of his sight for more than 5 minutes during any escape attempt

-But this time you’re /gone/  you must have left near immediately after he had left you, curled up and sleeping peacefully in his nest, he couldn’t hear or smell you anywhere near by

-Throws this boy into a complete panic when he realizes that you could be anywhere you could be hurt or bleeding or dead for all he knew! 

-Normally he likes to hunt you down in his fully human or only partially shifted forms, to really show off and rub it in your face how he doesnt even need to be at his best to hunt your wimpy ass down

-This time though he is fully shifted in seconds, taking to the sky, scanning desperately for any sign of you

-It may take a little bit with how small you are in comparison to the forest but he will find you no matter what it takes. 

-When he finally spots you, stumbling through the forest with a dumb little bag that was clearly too heavy for your fragile little arms to be carrying by the way you kept stumbling around was any indication. 

-He immediately nosedives down towards you, a terrifying sight to see, even when you do know exactly who the dragon is and that he probably isnt trying to eat you

-He shifts in the arm, damn near toppling you over as he lands right next to you just to immediately scoop you up in his arms, clutching you like a life line as he immediately starts rubbing up against you

-He is not crying, damn it

-It only takes him a moment or two rubbing against you, covering you with his scent again before he realizes that you are scratched up and dirty, causing him to bristle in even more anger than he already had been in

-Immediately chews you out, lecturing you as he takes the bag from you, carrying both you and the bag back to his den, ranting and lecturing you the whole way, pretending like you both don’t notice how he is still shaking

-”What the fuck were you thinking, dumbass?! You could’ve gotten hurt! I don’t have time to look after your pathetic little human ass!” 

-He’ll turn bright red when you tell him whats in the bag and why you risked getting in trouble with him to go fetch it. Immediately your lecturing angry dragon boyfriend will be a blushing pouting mess as he takes you into his den

-”You should’ve told me...Idiot. I could’ve taken you.”

-He stares longingly at the bag as he sets it down, his instincts clearly calling for him to root through the bag and add the collection to his horde, to make sure to put his mates gifts in plain sight so everyone will see how much his mate cares for him, how perfect and beautiful his mate is

-His mate was so perfect she brought him more stuff for his horde, perfect stuff, and he was going to show that off

-He needed to return the favor for his mate, get them shiney things to cover their body in to show that he owns them, to show off that they had taken the first step in courting him and he had returned the favor they wanted him just as much as he wanted them 

-But he knows that his mate was injured in their travels and first and foremost he needed to take care of that

-He’s surprisingly tender as he scoops you up, tsking in annoyance at how filthy you were

-for someone who lives in the forest the man sure doesn’t like dirt, especially on you

-he’ll wrap you up tight in his arms and carry you to the nearby hotspring, demanding to clean you and take care of you instead of hovering annoyingly close like he usually does

-You better get use to it he is going to be clingy as hell for awhile, if not indefinitely now that you had taken the final step in courting him

-You had gone out of your way to court him in the dragon way (it doesn’t even cross his mind it was an accident and you didn’t know you were just being thoughtful) half of him wonders if he should wonder down to a human village and learn how to court you in the human way too, just to be fair

-Or he could just ask you. That would be less fun though. You surprised him it was only fair he showed he was just as good (if not better) of a mate as you were. 

“K-katsuki!” You flushed squirming on his lap as the dragon growled down at you, easily holding you still with one hand as the other slid down your calf, cleaning off the dirt and scowling at the scratches and bruises that littered that area. It had been a slow process, the dragon insisting on inspecting you from top to bottom, starting with your head and working his way down, scowling and grumbling as he spent extra time at each and every little scrape or bruise he discovered as if they had personally insulted him. “This is why you should never leave anywhere without me, stupid. You’re too fragile to wonder off on your own.” he growled and grumbled as he moved to the other leg, being remarkably gentle and careful with his grip and touch on your wounds as he washed that leg too. “I know...I just wanted to surprise you.” You pouted back down at him, biting down any argument over tiny cuts and being able to take care of yourself since you knew the dragon was still on very volatile ground. He may have chosen to forgive you thanks to your surprise gift but that could change at any moment if you made the wrong move. “Yeah well...” he huffed pouting slightly in response, grumbling to himself as he finally set down your leg his hand moving to rest back on your hips, lifting you up with ease, ignoring your flustered squealing as your bare form was lifted out of the water. “Quiet down.” he huffed rolling his eyes as he turned you around, grabbing your legs and forcing them around his torso as he pulled you close, hands sliding down to hold your ass as he held you up, pushing you against his chest as he relaxed in the hot water. “Honestly I’ll never understand you humans and your insistence at being covered. I know what you look like anyway.” He huffed softly leaning his head back against the rocks that lined the spring, tension relaxing from his body. He finally had you here tucked into his arms, safe and sound, and he could relax as hot water lapped away any knots and tension that still clung to his body.  

[random-mha-thoughts]

Mama’s Boy/Lover’s Boy (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Inspo: “Down for You” by Cosmo’s Midnight/Ruel

Summary: Bakugou hates being dragged to fancy parties for many reasons, but only one thing makes it all worth it.

Word Count: 2,322

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

a/n:  I absolutely adore this picture, ngl that was the whole inspo for this.

It's not fair that a whole Katsuki exists while I'm bleeding out and my hormones are out of whack.  I'M A LOYAL SHOUTO HO, STAY IN YOUR LANE KATSUKI!  DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY INSTABILITY LIKE THIS!

When I was at the last few paragraphs, I realized I would've loved to let Baku lose his shit and almost crash the entire thing like in Murphy's Law (man I loved writing that), but that wouldn't be good.  We love a good chaotic fluff monster.

This turned out a lot longer than I thought it would, but I really like how it turned out!  Definitely more fluff than I expected, but who's mad at that?  I'm bleeding out of my uterus and my mom and dad got me feverish and sick and I definitely needed this, so I KNOW you Baku stans are gushing at this too.  Thanks to @rubyred-imagines​ for one of the story beats here!

Spice might be incoming in the next day or two ;3  Not sure which character yet, but it's gonna happen!

"Babe, your face."

"What about it?!"

"Stop looking like you want to kill everyone."

"But I do!"

"I know you do, but don't look it."

Katsuki walks into the grand hall, muscular arm linked through his dazzling girlfriend's slender one.  He really doesn't want to be here; he hates these high-class, uptight gatherings, he hates this constricting tuxedo he has to wear, he hates how he barely knows anyone here, and he especially hates that he could've been on a date with her alone instead of being surrounded by these suffocating faces.

His lovely girlfriend announced this unfortunate outing a few weeks ago right before Katsuki was going to suggest the idea of having a date night, since they haven't had any quality alone time together in a while.  Her eyes lit up when she reported that she RSVP-ed for both of them to attend her company's fancy dinner.  And his plans were crushed like that.  He wanted to grumble and refuse, but she'd yell right back at him anyway, being the stubborn person she is.

She reminds him of his mother.

"You're just like my mom," Katsuki rolls his eyes.  "She used to drag me to her company dinners all the time, too."

"We won't stay for long, I promise," she pats his arm with her perfectly manicured fingernails.

"She used to say that too, and then we'd be out for hours," he mumbles to himself.

The girl looks up at him sweetly.  "And you'll be a good boyfriend and stay here with me the whole time, right?"

The blond growls low in his throat.  "I don't even belong here, you were invited, not me."

"Katsuki, you're my guest, of course you belong here."  She leans up to whisper in his ear, "Besides, you're more handsome than any of the guys here, show them all up."

That makes Katsuki smirk.  "Damn right I am, babe."

The couple find their table after an irritating amount of time.  Every few steps, some other pretentious stranger from his girlfriend's company sweeps over to exchange empty kisses and the same empty conversation.  Katsuki thinks it's some kind of script everyone practiced from, no one deviating from the script or else the entire simulation might fall apart.  Actually, he would like to say something inappropriate just to relish their horrified or disgusted faces, but he for the sake of his precious girlfriend, he keeps his mouth shut, teeth grit, and smile plastered each time he's introduced to a new face.

"Do you really know everyone here, babe?" Katsuki mutters in her ear as they finally approach the table.

"Not everyone," she hums in response, "I don't know most of the employees from the other two companies here, but I know the higher-ups through my boss."

He briefly remembers her saying this dinner was for a big merger deal between these three companies.  His girlfriend works tirelessly for her boss, usually taking on more than she can handle and coming home late most nights.  She'd been promoted from just being a regular company worker to being in a near-the-top position right under the main board managers.  He admires her dedication, but he's always worried about her health and energy level.  He may be a Pro Hero, but she's the real superhuman in the relationship.

Katsuki does the gentlemanly thing of pulling the chair out for his lady and pushing her back in before settling in his seat next to her, purposely shifting closer to her than the person on his other side.

"What manners your boyfriend has," one of the older ladies at the table coos at the couple.

"Thank you, I'm very grateful to have him," the girl smiles politely in response.

Katsuki's heart melts at the pride dripping from her voice as she compliments him.  "And I'm very lucky to have her."  It felt like the right thing to say as he squeezes her hand under the table and briefly glances into her eyes.

The two don't tear away from each other until someone else approaches his girlfriend and she stands to greet him briefly.  Katsuki surveys him in case he would do something ballsy to his girlfriend.

She turns and places a hand on Katsuki's shoulder.  "This is my boyfriend, Katsuki Bakugou."

Hell yeah, I am, you better not pull anything, dumbass.  He stands and shakes the other man's hand, polite but stiff.

"Nice to meet you.  Your girlfriend is honestly a powerhouse, she's amazing," the man gushes.

"Yes, I'm aware," the blond replies tersely.  He's on guard because he doesn't get a good vibe from this man.

Sure enough, he goes on a little too animatedly about how much his girlfriend does for the company and the rest of the company.  It comes off to Katsuki as fake and kiss-ass.  Nonetheless, his girlfriend accepts all the compliments like the graceful goddess she is.  He realizes this boy is one of his girlfriend's juniors as they descend into a conversation surrounding work and future projects.

After dismissing him, another group of his girlfriend's underlings rushes over with compliments and "Oh my gosh, senpai!  You look amazing!" and the like.  Each time, she would accept the praise, introduce him, before launching into more work-related subject matter that Katsuki learned to tune out eventually.

Honestly, he's annoyed at how everyone here is overwhelmingly toxic.  All the subordinates or peers are kiss-ups and her superiors are pretentious stick-up-their-asses that look down on his girlfriend.  He can't stand that his lover is surrounded by this atmosphere all day.  They don't know the genuine type of person she is, other than that she's kind and easy to walk all over.  No one seems like they care enough to carry genuine conversation, and he'd rather not tune into that energy.

Instead, Katsuki directs his attention to his lovely girlfriend.  Staring at her face, he recalls how painstakingly long it took for her to paint her face with makeup to look this flawless.  He's sure she would've had a mental breakdown while doing her eyes, especially putting on her eyeliner.  She was chanting to herself cutely to get them even, almost coaxing her shaky hands in front of the mirror to perform some kind of magic.  If he had done the wrong thing and hurried her or teased her habits, she would've unleashed all her anger on him.  He's learned that the hard way.  In the end, she was able to achieve this masterpiece on her face without making herself look like a completely different person, highlighting her natural beauty.

Scanning downward to her dress, he remembers fondly going shopping with her last weekend.  Her hair was in a topknot as she fumbled through the racks for a dress to wear.  She had dragged him along because she trusted his opinion on fashion choices.  While he would've liked for her to choose a scarlet red gown, Katsuki knew she'd look infinitely better in the sapphire blue number she's wearing now.  The skinny straps holding the dress up leads down to a not-too-plunging neckline that suits her shoulders, collarbone, and chest perfectly.  The dress cinches in at the waist to emphasize the figure he knows she has before falling straight down from her hips, and the mid-thigh slit on one side is subtly sexy without having her risk overexposure.  Finishing the entire outfit is a classic pair of nude pumps, a dainty gold necklace, matching dangling earrings, and a clutch matching her shoes.  Her hair is curled in waves cascading down her back with some stands hanging over one shoulder.

Katsuki can't help but smile unconsciously.  He can't wait to someday place the finishing touch she deserves: a simple but elegant ring on her left hand.

After all the formalities, the two finally sit down and start eating the dinner courses that have started gracing their place settings.

"I know you wanted to go out for date night today," his girlfriend begins gently, "But we can imagine this is a fancy restaurant with just us two, and everything else is just a backdrop."

"Shouldn't you be paying attention to what's going on?" Katsuki quirks an eyebrow.

She waves her hand and takes a refined sip of her wine.  "I've already heard them practice this speech too many times."

The devilish blond smirks and slinks closer to her.  "That's not something a good employee would do, is it?"

"I'm not working right now," she smoothly responds back, replicating his energy.

The organizer of the dinner finally takes the stage and starts his speech.  Katsuki keeps his gaze on his beautiful girlfriend, admiring her delicately picking and eating at her plate.  She's so precious to him, he doesn't care if he's making heart eyes and everyone can see.

When the speech finishes, his girlfriend's glass also empties and she indicates that she's going to get another.  It leaves him on edge, he hates being alone with all these strangers even for a few minutes.  He doesn't want to tell you this, but if one of these people try to small talk him without you here, he might actually break something.

"So, Bakugou, what do you do?" the same lady from earlier chirps at him.

He whips his head up.  For fuck's sake.  "I'm a...public safety worker of sorts."  He tries so hard to sound polite for his girlfriend's sake.  He also can't resist scanning the room for her as a safety reflex.  With all the shady people around, he doesn't trust that something bad won't happen.  And he also wants your comfort in these uncomfortable situations, but he'll never admit that either.

"Oh, I see."  The old lady seems satisfied with his tone, barely noticing his fidgeting as she launches into a whole story about her grandson wanting to do something like that, and all the tangents related to that.

Katsuki is relieved that he doesn't have to talk for the rest of the time, just nodding along  and humming to prove he's passively listening.  He finally spots his angel a few tables away, groaning internally that she was stopped by someone, keeping her from coming back to him.  It seems they were having a deep conversation at first, but suddenly the man cracks a smile and a joke that makes her cover her mouth in respectful laughter.

Katsuki's annoyance is cut through at her wholehearted display of emotions.  The entire night, he's been complaining about how much he hates everyone here, but it's only now he realizes how relaxed she looks in the entire situation.  She's completely in her element; he'd get easily drained by all the suffocating small talk, but her?  She thrives off this, she gains energy from it.  Although she comes home late, overworked and tired, she still faces every day with a smile on her face.  She makes it look so easy to talk to people, striking up and following conversations with everyone in the most endearing and poised way possible.

Katsuki smiles to himself, warmth washing over him.  Yes, just like his mom, but it makes his girlfriend all the more stunning and admirable in his eyes.

His girlfriend finally returns to the table, her recently-acquired glass already half empty.  "What did I miss?" she asks, buzzing with both energy and alcohol.

Katsuki leans his head on his palm.  "Nothing much."  He's still basking in the glow of his wonderful girlfriend, casually sipping his own wine absently.

She turns towards the clearing in the center of the room and takes his free hand.  "Let's go dance, babe!"

Any other time, Katsuki would have sternly declined, but he can't resist her today.  Without a single complaint, he rises and lets her drag him by their entwined hands to the dance floor.  Guiding his large hand around her waist as her one hand plants to his shoulder, she raises their joined hands and starts swaying them to the classic orchestral ensemble's upbeat performance.

The man doesn't know if it's the overwhelming feeling of pride he recently uncovered, or the way their bodies press together gently as he inhales her floral perfume, but he can't find the words to describe everything he wants to say. He settles on simply smiling warmly down at her as he whispers, "You're amazing, you know that?"

His girlfriend's cheeks flush and she erupts into giggles.  "What's with the sudden compliment?"

He shakes his head.  "I just realized it, that's all.  Just like my mom."

"You sure are a Mama's boy, aren't you?"

He scoffs at the idea.  "I love the old hag, but I'll never tell her that.  Besides, I'd say I'm whipped for a different woman in my life."  He brushes hair behind her ear, her earring glinting against the light, and places a kiss on her perfect temple.  "You look stunning tonight."

His girlfriend's eyes close in half-lidded affection.  "I'm sorry this isn't the perfect date night you wanted."

The blond leans his forehead on her's, slowing their pace to allow time to pass much more leisurely around them.  "I get to dance with you, I think that's a definite win."

"I guess so."

Katsuki comes to realize that he can be forced to come to all of these events.  All that matters is his enchanting lover and her smile.  When the night is over, he can't wait to let her take her heels off and carry her bridal style to their car as everyone watches in envy and awe.  He'd let her recline and rest her weary feet, telling her stories of his adventures of night outings with his mom to lull her to sleep in his passenger seat.  And then he'd carry her sleeping figure up to their bedroom and wake her gently so she can clean herself up and change into her cute pajamas, just so they can cuddle in each other's warmth until they fall asleep.

Maybe he's not a Mama's boy anymore.  More like he's a Lover's boy.

[wonnoy]

life long besties (?)

i have returned master kageyama

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warnings: i guess insults for people who (i dont know. )

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1 | 2 | 3

Oh god how you hated him. It didn't even matter what you hated about him, it was just everything.

Kageyama Tobio was the most insufferable person on the planet to you and the feeling was mutual. It wasn't instant hatred mind you, it was more like one action triggered the entirety of the downfall. And it all started with Hinata.

Last year of high school, your last year to make memorable memories. Stuff that would make you look back and hopefully not regret or be embarrassed by anything. Much harder said than done really, being outgoing wasn't the strongest suit you could wear.

You looked around the classroom, it was just buzzing with activity and you were the only one left out of it. A little bit of an outcast, you had spent the better of your time studying. The only semi friend you really had was Tsukishima - and even he was too busy with volleyball to actually spend any time with.

Any time you did spend with him was when the two of you were studying at each other's houses. He preferred it that way, there were less distractions there than at school.

Tsukishima was currently sitting by himself too, but you didn't think he'd be by himself for long. Yamaguchi, if you remember correctly, was always dragging him away from the classroom.

You scoffed and slunk your body further down into your seat, was it worth the hassle to go and try to talk to him? At least once without it being about a certain topic or anything? You sighed internally to yourself, probably.

Scooting your chair back, you started to walk over to him. He had his headphones in and a book in his hands, the usual set-up. You gave him a tat on the shoulder and he took his headphones off.

"Isn't Yamaguchi coming soon?" you leaned up against the desk.

Tsukishima scoffed at that, "I'd rather bite my fingers off," and he looked back down at his book. You would have normally took that as a sign to shut-up and go away but-

"So that does mean he's coming by soon right?" you smiled down at him and Tsukishima only sighed muttering 'any second now'.

The doors to your classroom bust open and in came Yamaguchi, smiling wide and eyes already landing on his friend.

"Come on Tsukishima, we gotta go," and Tsukishima only groaned before sinking into his chair, hastily pulling his headphones back on. But Yamaguchi was having none of it, already keen on moving him out of the chair.

You were still leaned against his desk and tilted your head, go somewhere? It was barely lunch time and you knew for a fact that volleyball practice doesn't start until after school.

Curiosity bit at you while Yamaguchi tried dragging his friend out of the chair.

"I can help," you got off the desk and could feel the burning stare of hatred Tsukishima was sending your way.

"Ah thank you y/n," he sounded relieved and began tugging while you started pushing. With great effort, and a couple minutes later, Tsukishima was finally standing but as an upset toddler.

"Where are you taking this big lug?" you leaned against the desk once more. You needed it a bit more for support this time rather than comfort because of the slight exertion you just did. Tsukishima grumbled at you and rolled his eyes. You ignored him.

"We're off to hang out with some other third years at the gym," he explained and stopped thinking for a second, "you're welcome to come with."

You looked behind you to gaze at your desk and the ones surrounding it, they were all empty. It would have been better than staying here alone, you didn't even bring your headphones today. You turned back to Yamaguchi, you were just complaining about being alone and not having enough memories.

Yet when given the opportunity you want to run away from it? Like hell.

"Sure, lead the way,"

__

Yamaguchi talks a lot, but you kind of already knew that. The fact that Tsukishima and him are close friends is insane, polar opposites those two were. The terrible friend and then the mediocre-ly kind friend, a wild dynamic.

"Someone called me Spongebob yesterday because of my freckles," Yamaguchi said. He went and dotted the freckles under his eyes for emphasis and Tsukishima snorted.

"Does that make me Squidward then," he pushed his glasses up, "the one that makes your life hell?"

Yamaguchi paled and nervously laughed. Tsukishima didn't stop his insult there, he then looked at you, "and I guess that makes you Patrick," and you immediately began to beat on him with your hands.

"I'll show you Patrick, you damn squid," you spat. Tsukishima and you lagged behind whilst Yamaguchi kept strolling ahead to the gym doors.

There was already a racket going on inside and it didn't surprise him much. He looked behind him, you were still pulling furiously at Tsukishima's ears as he continued verbally assaulting you.

Yamaguchi opened the doors, "hey guys, I brought a friend!"

There were only two boys inside yelling at one another, Hinata and Kageyama. Ukai was in the corner reading a magazine, he offered to be the 'parental guidance' last night when the third years asked if he could watch over them.

Doesn't seem like he was paying much attention though, which may or may not have been a good thing.

Hinata was bragging about his jumping when Yamaguchi announced his arrival, immediately turning away from Kageyama. Kageyama was fuming in front of him and Hinata turning away only made it worse.

"Ah, Yamaguchi!" Hinata jogged up to him, "took you long enough," he smiled and slapped his hand on the back of Yamaguchi. Sputtering forward, he grumbled from the stinging on his back from the slap that Hinata gave him.

Yamaguchi pointed behind him, "it's because I had these two in tow," pan-zoom in to you now tugging Tsukishima to ground and claiming that 'he was now Plankton in your eyes'.

You stilled when looking over at the doors of the gym - first impressions were already going down the drain and you quickly climbed off of Tsukishima whilst brushing your skirt down to manageable levels.

You waved, "hi," and the orange man smiled really wide at you. You think you remember him, you believe you actually watched one of the volleyball games after Tsukishima mentioned it at the end of a study session.

Hinata Shoyo, and the one fuming behind him was Kageyama Tobio. They were the star duo when it came to 'quick attacks' if you could remember the term correctly.

"I think this is the first time I've seen you outside of the hallways," Hinata laughed. He was already striding towards you and gripping your wrist, dragging you to the gym with him. Protests were choked back as you slowly skid to the doors and into the gymnasium. You haven't really spent a lot of time in here, normally you were in and then you were out.

It felt uncustomary to be standing here.

You looked over at the last third year of the room, Kageyama. His hair reminded you of a weirdly shaped q-tip and his face seemed to always be holding a permanent look of anger on it.

"Dumbass!" Kageyama bellowed out and you immediately puffed your chest at him like some weird peacock. Did he just - did he just call you a dumbass?

Hinata behind you was about to say something back but you beat him to it, it could have saved you this entire mess of hatred. But no, your fat mouth just had to open.

"I'm not the dumbass, dumbass," you shot back. Your brows were furrowed and fingers were clenching. Hinata still was holding on your wrist and he let you go, setting you free to swing your arms right back down to your sides comfortably.

Kageyama looked taken a back a little bit because it was you who replied and not Hinata. But it definitely didn't grind his gears right when you called him that, if his stiffed posture didn't indicate anything other than that.

"Alright let's just-" Yamaguchi began but Kageyama cut him off.

"But you're clearly the dumbass," Kageyama snuffed at you. By now, he had taken a couple steps closer to you so he could do some sort of intimidation stance to show off his height compared to yours.

You grabbed your forearm and began pushing up the already short sleeved shirt, "call me Sandy Cheeks because I'm about to karate chop your ass," you could hear Yamaguchi stifle a laugh to the side but no further fuss than that.

Kageyama couldn't have looked more disgruntled after you said that phrase. But instead he only mimicked your movements. You clearly took this as a threat.

So because of a tiny misunderstanding in communication, the ten year long feud between you and Kageyama raged without fail.

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this is going to be one of my longer fics - as you can see it's got 3 parts

this is part 1, i wont be posting part 2 for a bit because im doing my first collab.

see you soon, im writing for futakuchi.