#no matter what happens and i found that sooo funny and cute i gotta just immortalize it in my profile forever. she just wanna be known :3

[aria0fgold]

I just realized how fitting my pfp in hsr is to my current du title.

Eepy Yanqing... it really is a farewell to the sun and more like a greeting to the moon.

Also, my in-game profile itself feels so peaceful cuz of the combination of those two things now.

[wicked-mind]

One Rule

Summary: There’s one rule you’ve set for each other in your relationship with Bucky. Always say I love you back to each other. 

Word Count: 2.1

Warnings: Swearing

All Writings Masterlist

As always, any likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated (: I love that shit!

*gifs not mine

There is one rule in your relationship with Bucky Barnes. 

Always say I love you back to each other no matter what.

Doesn’t matter if you both are fighting and hate each other in the moment. Doesn’t matter if one of you is having the worst day of your life. I love you made everything alright. It was a grounding phrase for both of you, letting you know you were always there for each other at any moment.

But this morning when you let out a lazy and soft ‘I love you’ half asleep to Bucky as he left your shared room, he didn’t utter it back to you with that half smile and a kiss on your forehead as he always did. He left with a small chuckle and shake of his head. Once he left the room, you sat up and narrowed your eyes at the closed door once you processed what had happened. Did he not hear you? He must’ve heard you- he has enhanced hearing so he should’ve heard you. He has never not said it back to you since the day you breathed out those three precious words to him so why this morning?

You shook your head for a moment, “It is sooo on, Barnes.” You said to the closed door.

And that is how the day of reckoning started. 

You wouldn’t call yourself a vengeful person but you were the tiniest bit petty.

You got out of bed, pulling on some black shorts and one of your many tank tops before sneaking out of the room quiet as a mouse. You stood up in the glass window looking down at Bucky train with Sam, tilting your head with a wicked grin on your face. As Bucky moved to throw punch at Sam, you flicked your hand, causing Bucky to lose his balance and face plant onto the the mat which made Sam howl with laghter. You are a telekinetic and can move people and objects with your mind. Today was going to be fun- for you at least. 

You kept yourself scarce, not wanting to be caught by Bucky this early in the day. Once he was done with training, you waited until you heard the shower turn on and him step in. You smiled and waited for a moment before, with a flick of your fingers to turn the dial for the temperature, the water in the shower turned ice cold against Bucky and you heard him let out a surprised yelp. You could hear Bucky trying to twist the warmth back on but you kept it in place on the coldest setting with your ability. After the shower shut off, you made yourself scarce again. 

Next was breakfast. Bucky loved breakfast and always ate at least six eggs, four pieces of bacon, and a stack of pancakes. You stood around the corner of the kitchen, waiting until he was distracted to use your ability to turn the heat on the stove up, quickly burning his whole breakfast as you listened to him let out all the curse words in the dictionary about his burnt breakfast.

“Shit! Fucking god dammit!” Bucky yelled as he quickly tried to remove his pans from the stove but by the time he did his pancakes were burnt, his eggs were blackened, and his bacon was too crispy.

Sam, who was sitting at the table drinking coffee and eating his own breakfast, let out another howling laughter, “Good god, Buck!” He laughed out, “You’re just having a day, aren’t you?”

Bucky shot a glare over to Sam with a grumble under his breath before trying to figure out what of his meal he could salvage.

It didn’t stop there. Oh no. You had many plans to get back at Bucky for not saying I love you back. You could tell Bucky was trying to find you, probably to rant about his mishaps of the day, but you kept yourself hidden from his eyesight and earshot. It didn’t take long for Natasha to catch on with what you were doing. She found you watching Bucky from another room as he went through files in an office, flicking your fingers so a window opened causing the strong wind to blow all his papers around the room and disorganize him.

“So, it’s you being Bucky’s bad luck charm today.” Nat said, sneaking up behind you causing you to jump, folding her arms with a smile on her face, “What did he do?”

You looked at Natasha and shrug with a smile, “He broke a rule.” You said simply and walked away with Natasha to leave Bucky to clean up the mess you had made.

The one place Bucky thought he would be safe from the bad luck antics that happened to be targeting him today was the library. He was sadly mistaken though. He had been in the library hundreds of times and knew the layout perfectly that he could just grab a book and plop himself on the couch without having to look but his bad luck followed him. He grabbed a book from the shelf, starting to read as he walked towards the chair but ran into the coffee table that seemed to not be in its normal spot and tumbled over it, running into a bookshelf causing books to fall on top of him, “Okay. What the fuck is going on?!” He yelled to himself as he started to pick up the mess he made. He hadn’t walked under any ladders, opened an umbrella inside, or had any black cats cross his path so why in the hell was he having such bad luck today?

It wasn’t until later that Bucky was starting to put pieces of the puzzle together after an interaction with Steve. They stood in the elevator together, Bucky explaining all the bad luck he seemed to be having today, when the elevator suddenly came to a stop between floors causing Bucky to let out a groan, “You’ve gotta be shitting me. See, bad luck.”

Steve looked confused at the buttons on the elevator- everything seemed to be running normal, “FRIDAY, why did the elevator stop?” He asks.

“Functions are normal. No known cause. It seems like someone has stopped the elevator.” The AI responded.

Steve looked over at Bucky, “Is it bad luck or did you piss someone off?”

Bucky’s brow furrowed in confusion, “I haven’t pissed off anybody today. Shocker, I know.” He grumbled out.

Steve folded his arms, turning his body to face Bucky with his eyebrows raised, “So you just think that slipping during sparing without any water on the floor just happened? Or that somehow the burner on the stove turned up? The locked window just happened to open when you were in the room looking through files? That the shower was stuck on cold for no reason? That the table in the library just happened to move suddenly or that the elevator stops working when all functions are normal?”

Bucky stared at Steve as if trying to read his mind before tilting his head back to look at the ceiling of the elevator as realization came across his features, “Y/N.”

Steve nodded slowly, “You did something to make her mad and she’s been using her ability all day to mess with you.”

Bucky groaned at the thought, running the events of this morning through his head to try and figure out what happened to make you upset, “I didn’t do anything though. I even let her sleep in.”

Steve sighs, “Better figure it out before she decides what other bad luck you’re going to run into today.” 

After the elevator finally started to move again, Bucky was on a mission to find you. He eventually did find you outside by the pool with Natasha. You two were laughing as you dipped your legs in the pool.

“Here comes Barnes with a sour look on his face.” Nat said softly, nudging your shoulder with hers, “I think he’s onto you.”

You smiled, hearing him approach behind you with heavy feet. Just when he was close enough to touch you, you tapped your fingers on the pavement making him lose his balance and trip right into the pool which earned a laugh from both you and Natasha. You smiled and waved your fingers to him as he surfaced from the water, shooting a glare right at you. You knew that look- You were in deep trouble with him. You quickly stood up and raced back into the facility before he could pull you into the pool with him.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at Bucky as he got out of the pool, his clothes and hair dripping water onto the concrete, “Two left feet today, Barnes?” She asks with a knowing grin.

Bucky glared at her, “Shut up, Nat.” He growled out before stomping his way into the facility after you. It didn’t take him long to find you, grabbing your arm and dragging you back to your shared bedroom where he pushed you up against the wall with his wet body, pinning you in place, “Why are you fucking with me today?” He questioned, a stern look on his face with anger in his eyes.

You smiled up to him cockily, batting your eyes innocently, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetness.” 

“Don’t ‘sweetness’ me, doll.” Bucky growls out, staring into your eyes, “Why are you in a mood with me today? Did you just wake up and decide it would be fun to mess with me?”

You tilt your head at him, “Oh no, I decided to mess with you after I woke up. I had no intention of doing anything until after you left the room with that cute little chuckle.”

Bucky narrows his eyes at you, trying to figure out what he could’ve done to make you put him through an embarrassing hell today, “I haven’t done anything to make you mad that I remember.” He told you, keeping you pinned in place, “So help me out, sweetheart.”

You pouted your bottom lip out to him which made his eyes flicker to your lips with that look in his eyes that made you know he wanted to kiss it away, “You don’t remember?” You ask, “You broke our rule.”

Bucky stared at you for a minute before shaking his head with a grin and stepping away from you. He ran his hand through his wet hair as his chuckle turned into a loud laugh at your words.

You frowned at his reaction. This wasn’t funny. He broke the rule you two vowed to each other never to break. To say I love you back to each other no matter what, “It’s not funny, Bucky!” You said to him, placing your hands on your hips.

“Oh it’s not funny.” Bucky replied through his laughter still, “It’s fuckin’ hilarious!”

You crossed the room to push him for laughing at you but he caught your wrists and looks down at you with a grin and his blue eyes shining, “I’m so glad your amused with how you hurt my feelings.” You hiss out at him.

Bucky grinned down at you, “Oh, sweetheart, I’m not amused that you think I hurt your feelings.” He said down to you, “I’m amused because you didn’t say I love you. You said I love waffles.”

Your jaw dropped a little bit, “No I didn’t! I said I love you!” You defended. Did you? Did you say I love you or did you say I love waffles? You were half asleep and couldn’t really remember but you were sure you said I love you.

“Yes you did, darlin’.”

“No, I didn’t, Bucky.”

Bucky shook his head at you with a dark chuckle and the same grin, moving his hands from your wrist to around your waist, “Yes. You. Did. I have super hearing. You definitely said ‘I love waffles’ which made me laugh. If you said ‘I love you’, I would’ve said it back like I promised I always would.” He told you, moving his face closer until you could feel his warm, minty breath against your face causing shivers up your spine which he immediately noticed, “I love you. Now, say it back.”

You let out a small huff in defeat. Bucky wouldn’t lie to you just save his own ass, “Fine. I’m sorry. I love you too.” You muttered out, “But I do love waffles.”

Bucky chuckles and pulls your waist closer to his, “I know, doll.” He whispers to you before kissing your forehead, down the side of your face to your nose then along your jaw before finally pressing his lips to yours. He pulled away too soon from your lips, stroking his metal fingers across your cheek with a dark look in his eyes and a matching grin, “Now I’m gonna have to figure out how to get back at you for all the embarrassment you put me through today.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Permanent Taglist: @buckypops​ @stcrryslibrary​ @bibliophilewednesday​

[tulsa-trash]

Childhood Crush

Steve x Evie Imagine

WARNING(S): Mild swearing

"Look who decided to grace me with her beautiful presence!"

Steve rolled his eyes upon hearing his best friend in the other room. Sandy must have dropped by to visit him at work again, she's been doing that a lot ever since the pair started going steady. Steve wasn't annoyed because he was jealous of their relationship, if anything he was beyond happy for Soda. It's just that sometimes the couple's display of affection tended to be overbearingly gross to be around.

He decided to ignore them, and continued to work on a gorgeous Corvair in the garage. But right as he got back to work, he heard footsteps approaching him.

"Steve?" Soda called out to him.

"Under the car." Steve replied, "Say, would ya mind passin' me the wrench while you're here?"

"Yeah sure but--"

"Thanks." He cut him off by quickly sliding out from under the car, grabbing the tool out of his hand, and returning to his work.

"Steve." Sodapop stated his name a bit more firmly, but his tone still held a playful sound to it.

"Yeah?"

"Come on out, I want ya to meet someone."

"Uh... I'm a little busy here can I meet this person later?"

"Nope."

Sodapop grabbed the creeper Steve was laying on and rolled him out from underneath the car. Steve looked at his friend with an annoyed expression, still holding the wrench in his right fist as he got up.

"Your lucky I ain't hit you in the head with this thing, I gotta finish this car by four." Steve half-seriously threatened before swapping the tool with a rag.

"You wouldn't do such a thing!" Soda fake gasped.

"I won't?"

"Just shush and clean yourself up."

Steve couldn't help but notice how weird Soda was being, he was always pretty silly but there seemed to be something a little suspicious going on. After he finished cleaning all the grease off of himself, Soda lead him out of the garage and into the store.

"Just... be cool dude." Sodapop said as he threw an arm around Steve's shoulder.

Steve chuckled and shook his head, "What the hell are you up to..."

Steve was at a loss for words once his eyes met a pair of familiar green ones. He felt like all the oxygen in his body was stolen from him as he took in the features of the gorgeous girl leaning against the front desk. Evie Jones, Steve's crush since the third grade. Her dirty-blonde hair stopped just at her shoulders and framed her slim face perfectly. Freckles adorned her cute button nose and prominent cheek bones. Her lips were full and stained with red lipstick. She was hot, and Steve knew damn well he was making a total fool out of himself as he silently gawked at her with his mouth slightly ajar.

"Steve, this is Evie. But I'm sure you already know that." Sandy introduced them with a sly smirk. "Y'all went to school together when you were little, right?"

"Uhm..." Steve had no idea what to say.

Soda cleared his throat and pushed him forward, Evie giggled at how nervous Steve appeared to be. She extended her hand out for him to shake, Steve's eyes darted from her face to her perfectly painted nails a few times. A light blush made it's way onto her face when he took her small hand in his big, calloused one.

"Nice to meet you." She spoke quietly.

Her voice was like music to his ears, Steve found himself even more infatuated with her as every second went by. His childhood crush was already rekindling, and fast.

"Well, Sodapop just invited me to go watch you guys drag race tomorrow night, and I figured Evie could tag along with me." Sandy said suggestively.

"That's only if you want me to." Evie added nervously.

"I'd love it if you showed up. I wouldn't mind a girl as pretty as yourself watch me race." Steve said smoothly, his confidence was returning the more he talked.

"Then I guess we'll see you tomorrow night." Sandy replied with a sweet smile.

Sandy walked up to Soda and gave him a kiss goodbye while Steve and Evie stood looking at each other awkwardly. The blonde pulled away from Soda's embrace and headed for the exit, linking her arm with Evie's while doing so. As they were leaving Evie looked back and sent Steve a small wink.

"See you tomorrow night, Stevie."

-

Steve found himself scanning the crowds of people at the drag race over and over again. He secretly hoped to catch a glimpse of the girl that'd been running through his mind the past twenty four hours. He hadn't found her yet. He kept doubting himself, thinking that maybe she wasn't as interested in him as he thought. Little did he know there was a surprise waiting for him.

He sighed deeply and ran his hands roughly over his face, his forehead lightly rested on the steering wheel of his T-Bird. Soda watched him from the passengers seat, a smile plastered on his face because he knew he was thinking about her.

"Don't worry so much about it, kid." He lightly punched Steve's shoulder, "Just focus on winnin' the race for her."

A booming voice announced that the race was starting, so instead of responding to Soda's comforting words Steve just pulled up to the starting line. The both of them eyed their competition once the other car pulled up on the side of them, four greasers sat in a Stingray and sized them up as well.

"Gentlemen! Start your engines!"

Steve's head whipped forward and there she was. Standing ahead in the middle of the two cars was Evie, untying her scarf from her neck and holding it up in the air. Steve hands gripped the wheel tightly as he watched her. She made eye contact with him and smiled brightly, which sent a funny feeling erupting in his stomach. He was going to win, he needed to win. He had to impress her. With a wave of her scarf the cars sped off.

It all seemed to happen so fast, but all that mattered was that Steve reached the finish line way before the other guys did. Sodapop was cheering and hollering beside him, beyond excited for their victory. They both got out of the car and greeted everyone that congratulated them, Sandy soon found Soda and clung to his side.

"Stevie!"

Steve was tackled in a hug from none other than the beauty herself. Evie's arms clung around his neck tightly, after shaking off the wave of shock he wrapped his arms around her. To his dismay she pulled away, but she left her hands clinging on his forearms.

"That was b*tchin'! You were great out there!" She exclaimed.

"Hey, so were you." He replied cooly.

She scoffed, "All I did was wave a scarf in the air."

"Well yeah... but you looked absolutely stunnin' while doin' it."

She looked up at him, adoration evident in her eyes. She liked him a lot, that was very clear. And she hoped that he liked her as much as she liked him. She thought he was adorable the moment he first smiled at her with his crooked teeth in grade school.

"Sooo..." She trailed off, breaking eye contact with him to eye the tattoo on his muscular bicep. "Since you won the race, that means you get the grand prize."

"Grand prize?" Steve stepped a bit closer to the greaser girl, she had to crane her neck up to look him in the eye again. "What's my prize?"

Evie pushed up on her tippy toes to press a sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. She smirked up at him, he couldn't stop the big grin that made its way onto his face.

"Well, sh*t..." Steve grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him, if that was even possible. "Best damn prize I ever won thats for sure."

Before Evie could reply Steve smashed his lips against her own, capturing her in a passionate kiss. She returned his embrace immediately by snaking her arms around his neck and tangling her hands in his greased hair.

If this was a dream, Steve certainly wouldn't mind if he never woke up.

[faecaptainofdreams]

(Everyone is sitting together. It doesn't really matter where, but they're all outside and having a great time. Lance, Walter, Marcy, Killian, Eyes, Ears, August, Ramsey, Sky, Felix, Gwynn, Jack, and Hiro. Other friends, such as Joy and Tonya [the security lady], aren't too far away. Lovey, Jeff and Crazy Eyes are present as well, calmly strutting around, being petted by various members of the group.) Walter: I remember when I was six, I went to my mom's room and was watching her put on her makeup for the day. She was kinda used to that, since I followed her everywhere. Well, I told her I liked her makeup, and that she was really good at putting it on. So then I'm like "Hey, what's it like to wear makeup?" And she goes, "I don't know, I'm used to it." And she looked at me, because I think she knew that I was building up to asking if I could wear some. I told her I just wanted to wear what she was wearing, just to know. She had to think about that for a minute, hah! Marcy: This feels like a really important part of your flamboyant origin story. (Everyone laughs, Walter included.) Walter: YES, definitely! So like, she was a little thrown, I think? But then she was like "Yeah, sure, okay, you can try on my makeup," and she had me sit in her little chair in front of the mirror. She was telling me that it was gonna feel funny, that I needed to be still so she wouldn't accidentally poke my eye, all that good stuff. My mom was SUPER attentive whenever she tried new things with me, because of the Asperger's. We really didn't know what could trigger that potential sensory overload or what I might be overwhelmed by, so I think she was more nervous about that than anything. Well... Before she started, I asked her if wearing makeup would make me less of a boy. I said, "Only girls wear makeup, and when boys like girly things, they get made fun of." I was really aware of that. I always SO BADLY wanted to take my Unitee to school, as a comfort object, but I was scared to death of the other kids taking her from me and tearing her up or something. So -- anyway, mom goes, "No, some boys wear makeup," and she said, "Did you know that men wear makeup in other parts of the world?" And she told me about the Egyptians, ancient peoples and how makeup was originally for everybody, all that cool stuff. SHE info-dumped on ME! (They all laugh a little.) Walter: It was just really striking to me how...progressive she was, like there was nothing I could do that she didn't support. I told her I didn't think I wanted to wear makeup all the time, and she said "Good, you're too young for it anyway." (More laughs.) Walter: So I sat there, and she started putting the makeup on me. She put on my eye shadow, then eye liner, then mascara... It was exhausting! How do people wear it ALL THE TIME? (They all nod and chuckle and Marcy raises her hand, drawing attention to herself.) Marcy: It's the way of the woman, Walter. Killian: And the very flamboyant, but no-less-masculine man. Ramsey: I tried on makeup once. Turned my rat face into a rat face with paint on it. (All laughter.) Sky: Hah, okay babe, so what happened next? Walter: *giggles softly* Well, then she put a little blush on just for the fun of it, and then put lipstick on me. We both kept laughing, I think she was laughing at me because I kept pursing my lips out SUPER hard! She was like "Just relax a little!" And I would, and then I would purse really hard again! (Laughs.) Gwynn: That's so cute, hah hah. Walter: We had this really long talk about how boys are not boys because they don't wear makeup, and girls aren't girls because some of them do wear makeup. Same with pants, and dresses. She said that if I am a boy, then that's what I am no matter what I have on. I was like... "If?" (Lots of concerned chuckles and a few laughs roll through the group.) Lance: OH shit, she probably didn't count on that one. Walter: NO, NOT AT ALL. I mean, it wasn't that long ago, but honestly transgender, non-binary and all the LGBT stuff has REALLY just been gaining traction in the past few years. Like I said, she was REALLY progressive. Felix: Did she have to explain that? Walter: *nods* A little. She kept it simple, she was like "Well, sometimes little boys feel like they aren't actually boys, and they feel like they're girls, so they choose to be girls and that's who they really are." I asked her how that's possible, because I have to over-analyze everything, pfft. She said she couldn't really explain it, that it was fine that I didn't understand, that she could tell me later. Yeah -- whenever she couldn't explain a hard topic to me, she was always really good about saying it was okay that I didn't understand it. Living in a world where you're expected to just GET everything, whether it's a hard or an easy concept, that was always nice. Hiro: *nods* Jack: Everyone should be told that, you've got a point there. Sky: I could not STAND when teachers were like "Oh ThiS iS eAsY, eVeRyOnE eLsE gEtS iT" LIKE BITCH, SHUT UP. *claps between words* I'M- NOT- THEM. Lance: RIGHT THOUGH?!

Ears: Rude.

Walter: Exactly! Everyone is different. Not even from an Autistic standpoint, just a HUMAN CHILD standpoint, my mom was really good with helping me be okay with my environment. August: Do you think if you were neurotypical, she would've been just as good, or like, less good or not as...paying attention? Walter: *thinks for a moment* Mmm... I mean, she was really good with me before I was even diagnosed, she was really patient and tried to roll with the fact that I was somehow very different from my peers. But no, I think she probably would've been about the same. Maybe less careful, or less afraid of setting me off somehow, but she DEFINITELY wouldn't have loved me less or had been any less kind. She was just...a great mother, plain and simple. (Gwynn reaches across the table and gently takes his hand, silently offering a bit of love. Walter smiles sadly to her.) Lance: So, what happened with the makeup? Walter: *sits up and takes in a deep breath* I told her it felt weird, aaand she said that was normal... *smiles softly* She told me I was pretty... I asked if I could show grana, so we went and found her in the living room and showed her. Ramsey: Oooh, was granny as progressive as mom? Walter: OH yeah, she was definitely where my mom got it from. She loved it! Marcy: *shaking her head slowly in awe* That is so rare, like WOW. Walter: Mm-hm. Yeah, I actually came out to grana when I was 14. I said, "I think I'm gay," and she looked me dead in the eye and said, "Oh, I knew that!" (They all laugh.) Walter: I was like, "Whaaat??" She told me that her and mom figured that out when I was two. Lance: ...What the hell was you doin' when you were TWO to give that away??? (They all chuckle.) Walter: HAH hah! I asked her that, and she said that my mom was just watching me play. I wasn't doing anything special, I -- she just said "I think my son is gay." And apparently, grana felt the same way? It turns out, big shocker, I am not mysterious. Hahahah! Felix: No, no you are NOT. Gwynn: Your family was really cool, Walter. Walter: Yeah... They were... (He nods his head slowly, eyes becoming a little wet. But he smiles, warm memories, love, and a little sadness filling his heart.) Walter: And now I have this cool family, so... I'm really really l-ucky-- (He wipes his eyes, trying not to cry.) Walter: Nnnaaahhh!! I don't wanna cry, aha hah...! Marcy: *chuckles* It's okay. Walter: Gah, I know. I cry enough though, I can go TEN MINUTES without! (They all chuckle, but there is an expression of care for him in everyone.) Walter: So that's the makeup story. *sniffles and wipes his eye one more time* I ended up not wearing it again after that, until the -- *motions to Jack* the mission! Jack: That was some fun, eh? Heheh! Really, Walter, you did make for a lovely lady! Walter: *laughs* Well thank you!! Hiro: I think it's nuts when people can tell their kids are gay. Killian: Yeh, some people honestly just feel that. I've heard about pregnant women being able to feel their unborn child is a certain way, and then years later they figure out they're right. Mind-boggling. Walter: There really is nothing harder to explain than a mother's instinct! Lance: Yeah, then there's MY mom. When I was like fifteen, my mom caught me dancin' in my room to this really fruity song and some dumbass chick flick was on the TV, and... (Everyone starts laughing.) Lance: *waves it off* So she busts in my room and is like *mocking voice* "Lance, you wanna tell me somethin'? Are you gay?" and I got all defensive and was like "NO MOM" in this really squeaky voice. (The laughter continues, and Lance along with them.) Lance: I knew what bein' gay was, and I knew how people made fun of it -- I made fun of it back then, everyone used it as an insult, there was all this misinformation about it flying around. My mom wasn't even being accusatory, she wasn't like MAD about it or anything, but from then on, ALL the time, if I did somethin' kinda questionable she was like "YoU gAy?!" So I'd try to make my voice deeper, like *makes voice deeper* "NO, MAMA. I LIKE GIRLS." (Laughter) Eyes: Did she try to get you for overcompensating? Lance: *claps and points at her* YES, I was just about to say! So I started gettin' pissed off about the gay thing, right? Well, my mom didn't know that I was listenin' to Afro Man back then. Hiro: What is that? Lance: Look him up, he's hilarious! Best song, Colt 45, hands down.

Ears: It's pretty funny, gotta admit. August: THAT SONG. IS SO. GROSS. Walter: When I was in middle school I heard some of the other kids singing it, I was sooo confused! August: Weren't you like FOUR in middle school? Walter: HAH HAH no, I was seven! August: PFFFT, OKAY, well that's still awful. Walter: *nods* Lance: My mom asked me if I was gay for the last damn time before I brought out my little laptop and started BLASTIN' Colt 45. Marcy: What even is that song?? Lance: It's literally just a rap song about the Afro Man having sex with dozens of women and being real vulgar about it, but not like your normal rap song. August: It's kind of like a parody, but it's not? Marcy: *sits back* Ew. Lance: Heh heh heh, yeah, when she heard that she went OFF on me. She was like "WHERE'D YOU FIND NASTY TRASH LIKE THAT YOU DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW" and started whippin' at my ass with the hand towel! (Laughter) Lance: I was running away cryin', screaming "I WAS JUST TRYIN'A TELL YOU I'M NOT GAY" and she goes "THAT'S WHAT OVERCOMPENSATIN' LOOKS LIKE!" (Their laughter is loud, boisterous, and unapologetic.) Ramsey: You get in trouble?! Lance: BIG TIME. Actually -- HA -- yeah, that's how I got into the military, she said "fuck this child and his stupid gay ass, he's gonna be a marine," stuck me on a plane and shipped me off. (The laughter is settling, but still genuine.) Lance: Nah nah I'm jokin', that's a joke. But yeah, I wasn't allowed on the internet for like three months after that. Walter: Hmhmhm! Did she finally stop asking? Lance: Yeah, yeah finally. I think that was the last straw. Marcy: Hey, where was your dad during all this? Lance: Oh god, you know him, he just kinda...stayed out of it, heh. He's definitely the more submissive one. But that's all right, mama's good to him. Killian: I personally adore your mother. Lance: Yeah, 'cos she showed you my baby pictures. Killian: You had the fattest fuckin' face on any infant I've ever seen. Lance: Whatever! You probably weighed like 18 pounds when you came out, you tank! (Walter unintentionally leads into the group laughing fit with a heavy "PFFT!") Killian: *laughing* I was thin as a rail 'til i was 17! Lance: Nah, you was what took down the Hindenburg, 100%. Killian: Bitch your face WAS the Hindenburg! Those CHEEKS! (The laughter only gets harder. The stories go on, the happiness rolls on forever. Eventually, Joy and Tonya join the group. This really is Walter's family, and it's perfect.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's a little cheesy, but we could use some of that right now. I had this idea of Walter and Wendy a couple months ago, but never once even spoke of it. I thought i would do art for it sooner, but here we are -- better late than never. I'm glad it took until now, because i wouldn't have shaded it then. Been feeling sentimental lately, and SiD is a huge part of my heart now. This was actually done on the last page of the first sketchpad i used for SiD! Apparently, i abandoned the drawing pad with ONE PAGE LEFT >8U SO DUMB. So with me being emotional, feeling a need for closure and wanting to add one more thing to the book, i decided this was the perfect subject matter. I don't know when i'll draw for this movie again since Marvel has swept me away, but I think i'll always be paying attention to it. I think this is one of those things that just will forever mean the world to me.

<3

[nathalie-sancoeur-assistant]

Loveater

Here’s my analysis on Loveater, spoilers are below- and there may be some Miracle Queen ones as well.

“Experiencing loss is a part of life. Some people lose their first love. Some lose the harmony of their relationship. Some people lose hope. Others lose patience. While others lose their soul. Some lose their certainties...and some have nothing to lose”

Let’s look at this intro sequence, shall we? 

I believe each and every one of those lines have meaning and foreshadowing in them for each character they were about. 

My evidence:

“Some people lose their first love” it shows Master Fu staring longingly at Marianne. And in the very next episode ( MQ spoilers) even though he’s lost his memories, he’s finally able to be with the woman he loves. 

In this very episode, the loss of harmony between Andre and Audrey’s relationship is what starts off the whole plan Hawkmoth has in store for the next 2 episodes. 

Some lose hope- Chloe, losing hope in Ladybug that she will ever have her miraculous again. And that loss of hope is what fuels her to (MQ spoilers) follow along with Hawkmoth.

So what are we left with that didn’t quite have any resolution in this episode? 

Chat Noir, losing patience. 

Nathalie, losing her soul. 

Gabriel, losing his certainties. 

And Luka, having nothing to lose. 

Before I go on, I would like to point out that the only time we have heard of someone having “nothing to lose” was in Heroes Day, when Hawkmoth claimed HE had nothing to lose....and yet, if he had nothing to lose, he wouldn’t be losing his certainties. So how does Luka have nothing to lose, pray tell? Moving on- these are the 4 unresolved lines of this episode, and I can’t help but feel as if there’s going to be more at play to them later on. 

Chat has been basically waiting for Ladybug to fall in love with him this whole time. If he’s losing patience, that may very well cue his attempt to move on through season 4. 

Nathalie, losing her soul- Nathalie Sancoeur. Nathalie “Heartless”.Soulless? And directly after it’s said, she begins coughing, because she’s still sick. This could be implying a couple things. 

1.) Nathalie’s body isn’t the only thing being effected by the miraculous. Her lifeforce and very soul are being effected and potentially drained. 

2.) By soul, they’re referring to how she’s willing to give up anything for this family. How she’s essentially allowed herself to become their servant, willing to do whatever they ask of her and essentially, giving up her soul for them. 

And if it’s the first then we know that Emilie isn’t just comatose or dead. She’s practically soulless. 

No matter how you take it, it means that she has been willing to give up her very soul for Gabriel and his family. 

Gabriel, losing his certainties- when she says this, we get this scene. 

So this I feel kind of obviously implies that Gabriel’s certainty on both what he thinks is right and what he wants is wavering. And if he’s losing his certainty, his determination is going to waver...which means he might start occasionally skipping over potential akumas for Nathalie’s sake.

Now of course (MQ spoilers) by the end the peacock miraculous is already fixed, giving him less reason to doubt his intentions and actions, but what about what he wants? This is the episode after Felix chronologically if I remember correctly, so this is directly after Adrien told Gabriel that Nathalie was practically part of the family. And we see how intimate things get between them throughout these two episodes. He may have no reason to back down anymore, so it would be interesting to see him still doubting himself. 

And lastly, Luka...honestly, this is likely a really big stretch...but the only other person who’s been implied to have nothing to lose (despite having a son who needs him, a woman who loves him, and a business that can’t run without him) was Hawkmoth. And now we have Luka, someone with a sister who needs him, a mother who loves him, a girl who needs his support that he cares very much for and a bright future ahead of him, being implied to have nothing to lose. As soon as I heard that, my thoughts went to the new Hawkmoth actually being Luka. Which...I have no clue how they would do that. But...he’s the person no one would suspect. He’d be practically safe from suspicion until some solid evidence came into play and even then folks would doubt. It would be the biggest plot twist MLB could pull, I’ll tell you that. 

---

I don’t ship Lukanette, but this is very cute.

And this...oh my gosh, Gabriel in this scene. He just seems so happy to present this love cloak to Audrey and Andre. It’s one of the happiest sounding voices I can recall him using and it’s because he did this on purpose, he know’s exactly what’s going to happen. He’s just waiting for it to unfold. And you have to admit it’s pretty funny. Especially when you realize that...he did it on purpose. (and he made it a cloak because he wanted to akumatize both of them.)

They both know what’s up.

And you know what, I actually like it quite well, but Audrey is right...it doesn’t look good on Andre. 

“A symbol of eternal love...”

Sooo if someone were to order that in a dress form for themselves....would it symbolize their self-love too? 

---

Adrien: Can we help you? *puts hands together* please?

Pure. 

“The secret to a long lasting marriage is-” “Distance!” 

Nathalie:

That smirk.

Even if no one dates each other in the Kagami/Adrien/Marinette/Luka square, they have a very wholesome friendship deserving of recognition. 

Scooby dooby doo, where are you, we’ve got some work for you now 

This was a shout-out to the cliche of all older cartoons when folks are sneaking around, wasn’t it?

She’s still the one out here on the field doing the dirty work. 

Pure. Nothing to see here, just two broken rich kids finally having a chance to enjoy themselves with their good friend Marinette. I love their friendship.

My resting face.

She really is quite pretty with her hair down. 

Gotta go fast

She pressed one button and spoke to Hawkmoth. She has Hawkmoth on speed dial.

I ship lovesquare but the more we get of Lukanette and Adrigami the more I appreciate it. And the more Luka grows on me. I don’t ship it, but I’m not mad at it at all. 

I love the Mari-vision. Its like watching a lightbulb go off in her head.

Also! I love how Heart Hunter/Loveater doesn’t just target romantic love. I mean, sure romantic love is cool and all but they were even able to recognize the love and bond between an owner and their pet. Self-love counts. I’m honestly really disappointed they didn’t get a chance to corner Nathalie, though...not that I want Nathalie in harms way, but I would have loved to hear them say something like “This one is just absolutely filled with love.” “Yes, unrequited...” “Love for a family that can never be her own. What a shame...” and right before she gets devoured, Chat Noir dives down and gives her a chance to get away. 

I have nothing to say about this, I just wanted to include it. 

They still look like night and day even without ones transformation.

“I dont believe in those kids of myths...but I do believe in ice cream” I agree.

“I wish I didn’t have to involve you in this”

Poor thing- I love this scene though. As soon as we see them together it starts with him reaching for her- seeing them out in public, in the daylight, interacting like that, it’s quite pleasing. 

Does he even realize how close her is to her?

And when you zoom further out, he’s got a hand resting on her shoulder...

It’s quite beautiful. 

An awkward screenshot, but I love this running sequence. “Bye bye little bird”, love it.

And...she fell right into their trap. They knew they’d never be able to find the guardian if she managed to detransform and be her civilian self- they were rushing and confusing her so she’d forget to detransform.

“My dear guardian” Okay so what does Hawkmoth have a thing for Master Fu now? 

“My dear Pigeon” 

“My dear Mayura”

“My dear Guardian”

It’s like with me and calling everyone “Hon(ey)”. And I have to admit, the first time seeing this- 

It was quite terrifying. Because I couldn’t help but imagine/compare it to looking up and suddenly seeing something like SCP-096 looming over you, or slenderman or you know just...something really chilling. Looking up and seeing someone or something with the capabilities of ruining and uprooting your life, when you’ve been trying so hard to avoid them all this time. It’d be spooky.

---

The conversation they had here was kinda heartbreaking. 

“There’s only one person I don’t want to hurt- Marinette. She’s the only other friend I have.” and yet “I can’t give him up, even for the sake of friendship”

Maybe I find it heartbreaking because I value friendship over romantic feelings. If I found out a friend had feelings for a guy I also liked, unless that guy approached me first, it’d be given up for the sake of my friend. And even if the guy approached me first, it’d still be a complicated process for me to be willing to accept. I’m so used to hearing about Friends > everyone else that I forget that there are people who don’t have those same values. 

Aw yeah, Master Fu finally out to kick some shell.

And the fact that Hawkmoth assumes that old people have the same time limit that children do, goes to show that hey, he still doesn’t know everything about the miraculous. He still has a lot to learn. 

Oh gosh I love going through and pausing this show frame by frame because then I get gems like this

I can’t stop giggling at this omgosh

“You talk a lot but you haven’t achieved much so far” Master Fu’s really out here to roast Hawkmoth. 

Maymoth are a power couple.

Okay so....I love this? It’s actually really clever if he’s looking for more allies. I like the way he went about it here. Offering her something she desperately wants and can boost her power...and in return she fight by his side. And targeting her once all her hope is down the drain, when her doubts are at their highest...yes, yes, it’s twisted as heck but I like how you can see the thought he put into this. He’s even willing to go so far as to call her “My queen” just to further erase all doubts she might have and cement the idea that if she follows through and does as he asks she can have everything she wants.

ngl this gave me strong Sebastian Michaelis vibes (a demon off the show Black Butler). 

And I like how they were sure to incude the detail of the akuma not only just flying out of the cloak but also lsing the energy it had been infused with.

And Marinette’s emotional breakdown...

Finally, we get to see some of the effect that owning the miraculous and having to constantly hold back her negative emotions has had. It can’t be easy, having to constantly lie to people you love and trust, not being able to show them a side of yourself that really is a part of who you are. Never being allowed to feel overwhelmingly sad, or mad, for fear of destroying your home and family with no one to stop it. And on top of it, feeling as if you have to give up on the person you love because, they love someone else, and someone else loves them more than they love you. Feeling as if Adrien can’t be trusted for fear of spreading her deepest secret, as if Kagami doesn’t care about her as much as she may have hoped, and she ends up rambling about something tht Luka can’t begin to understand unless he knows her secret. 

And Luka, “You can tell me everything, or nothing if you prefer” that is so important, Luka has officially gained my utmost respect. His personality, values and mindset are starting to really come out and I respect it. He knows that sometimes people just can’t talk about something right then and there, that sometimes they’re just not ready, and that it’s okay. I like how they used that to showcase part of Luka and it’s really important for kids to learn that too. 

[atopearth]

Hakuoki: Edo Blossoms Part 8 - Iba Hachiro Route

I’ve always admired the perseverance of Hijikata, so hearing Iba talk about how the shogunate guys have been refusing meetings with him and not seeing eye to eye with the Shinsengumi and Iba, it’s pretty depressing, but it really shows how much Hijikata is unwilling to yield. On the other hand though, seems like Iba’s new Demon hand is acting up on its own and can even control his actions? Doesn’t sound good… Damnn, both CGs of Iba drinking her blood or enduring it are so pretty😍 I feel so bad, here he is suffering and I’m just relishing in how good he looks🤣

It’s always so funny how Motoyama (hatamoto alongside Iba) is always so scared when it comes to Hijikata🤣 Niceee that Chizuru will be living with Iba whilst the Shinsengumi march to Kofu Castle~ They can bond more now since they had been separated for months when they all moved to Edo. It’s true that it’s kinda like a casual honeymoon since they’re living together, she’s cooking for him and they’re spending quality time together hahaha. It’s so heartbreaking to know that the shogunate didn’t expect anything from the Shinsengumi and were ready to give away Edo Castle to the enemies, so essentially they allowed all those people in the Shinsengumi to die on a mission that wasn’t meant to be fruitful at all. They got Hijikata and the Shinsengumi’s hopes up that they were fighting for the shogunate when they themselves had already given up… No wonder Iba is so mad at them and himself.. It’s the worst that Iba definitely wants to participate in all this, but he can’t since he promised that he won’t interfere with human history and conflict since he has the Demon arm now. So it’s awesome that Chizuru asked him to be her bodyguard as she reunites with the Shinsengumi, so that technically all Iba is doing is protecting her and not intentionally changing history, it can’t be helped if she has chosen to go and he has to protect her hahaha. Very good idea, Chizuru! You know Iba well! Since he promised Sen that he wouldn’t interfere anymore, his beliefs would never allow him to go back on that, but with this, he’ll be able to see how the Shinsengumi and the rest are doing, and possibly support them indirectly. Funny that he doesn’t realise (or maybe he just doesn’t want to since that’ll go against his principles) what she’s trying to do and sincerely just wants to bring her to the Shinsengumi lmao.

Awww, his new look is so not cute! He doesn’t have as much of that pretty boy in a Japanese way look now😪😪 Sooo boring. It must be so painful for Iba to drink Chizuru’s blood to curb his bloodlust every time though, he’s so devoted to being the one that will protect her no matter what, and yet every time he has these “attacks”, Chizuru has to hurt herself and give him her blood, it must really hurt him to have her do that. Why are the Odawara guys traitors too… That’s just so terrible, Iba and them were so hopeful to have gained allies, only to be backstabbed by them and the Imperial forces… I don’t blame Iba for breaking his vow to Sen, he’s his unit’s leader, how could he possibly watch them be slaughtered like this… Btw not a fan of Takeda’s new look either! His hair looks kinda funny haha😅

Considering the difference between Takeda’s and Iba’s backgrounds, which are pretty much complete opposites with Takeda being poor, seen as filth and he climbed all the way to who he is now through sheer willpower and strength he cultivated to not be looked down upon anymore, whilst Iba is rich and blessed with the opportunity to be a hatamoto despite lacking real fighting to the death experiences that I’m sure Takeda had to go through like every day I guess… So, really, in a sense, Takeda’s hatred runs quite deep even without all the things that happened before, he just hates Iba for everything that he is and everything that he himself isn’t and cannot be. OMG, lewd dreams of Chizuru?! Dang, Takeda, I don’t really want to know that. Did Takeda and Iba accept perverted Demon hands…? Lol. Even if Takeda drank much more human blood than Iba, could he be that much stronger than Iba to completely overpower him? Shouldn’t Chizuru’s blood be powerful too then?? Hmmm. Or maybe Takeda’s wrath amplifies his power as well? Since I feel like although Iba doesn’t like Takeda and really wants to protect Chizuru, he’s never been as emotional as when he first cut Takeda’s arm off, and he hasn’t accustomed himself to the new arm that much compared to Takeda I guess.

It was so heartbreaking to hear Iba have to admit and tell her that he’s having those lewd dreams as well…and to have to admit that she’s the safest away from him… Iba is so noble, such a gentleman and has vowed to protect her no matter what, so for him to have to admit that she’s safest away from him must be the worst… Is it just me or does Chizuru have a comprehension problem? Which part of Iba telling her to leave with Sen meant that he thought she was a nuisance and is overstaying the offer he had previously given??? He even pinned her down before because of the hand and she still doesn’t get that he just wants to protect her?!? Chizuru, are you an idiot? Anyway, I guess she kinda does understand… But damn, I love how Sen phrased it for Iba to understand, that just as he is willing to lay down his life for the shogunate with his loyalty even if there’s probably a very slim chance of them winning at all, Chizuru is the same, she as a woman has already chosen to lay down her life to stay beside him regardless of what may happen because just as he has chosen his path, she has chosen hers to be with him no matter what. Gotta thank Sen for solving their communication problems lmao. On the note of Takeda having those lewd dreams about Chizuru because of Iba’s innate feelings for her + the Demon hand’s power and this connection between the hands causing Takeda to feel a similar way to Chizuru is kindaaaa iffy but okay...

Omggg, Iba has been training himself since he was a kid all this time to be a worthy man for Chizuru! That’s so sweet!! No wonder why he feels so unworthy of her, she’s been like his goal all this time and he never really thought that she’d ever love him back but he still worked for it hoping that one day when he approves of himself, she will too, and his hopes were probably crushed when he became a Fury that always had to drink her blood and have an arm that constantly wanted to attack her, Iba has been really suffering… Anyway, so glad they finally told each other their feelings properly and kissed! Lovely CG as always😉 And so now the Demon hand recognises his emotional resolve and will allow Iba to use it at his will? So, all it needed was a kiss? Considering those lewd dreams, a kiss seems so innocent LOL. Hahaha, well it was more than a kiss I guess, since the kiss was only the result of Iba finally being able to make a breakthrough in terms of his feelings and his mental barriers.

It was so cute when they shared a bed together and he comforted her since she was crying about how so many of the Shinsengumi guys were either dead or had left and they’re unsure of their safety with how the situation is right now… The kiss was nice☺️ Omgg…I can’t believe Nomura was killed in battle and ripped to shreds?!?! That’s so terrible… He was such a happy little guy.. I can’t believe even Hijikata and Motoyama (Iba’s good friend in the Yugeki unit) were killed😭😭 What do they do now??? Oh, I’m really surprised that Saito killed Kodo already, totally thought he was still rampaging around, I guess it’s just Takeda then? Pretty nauseating to imagine him eating all this human flesh and taking their blood though, eughhh… I’m actually surprised that Iba really slashed/stabbed Takeda along with Chizuru when Takeda took her hostage. I really thought he wouldn’t be able to do it since he had always been so adamant on protecting her and never letting her get injured. And then it just kinda time skips to possibly years or so later when she finally wakes up from her comatose state due to the injury, and they can finally enjoy their happy and peaceful life together! Anyway, it ended rather abruptly and in an anticlimactic way tbh since they built up all this tension and the ultimate goal of killing Takeda and it just ended like that? Oh well though lol.

That chapter 2 game over though, I hatee the endings where the guy gets eaten by the Furies, it’s so disgusting and devastating😢 I did like it that Chizuru stabbed the kodachi into her heart to follow him in death though, since really, being tortured into having Takeda’s offspring is definitely worst than death, and you’ll be destroying other people’s lives with that offspring too, so yeah… Oh, well, I guess she does that in the chapter 3 bad ending where she gets tricked and is forced to be Takeda’s slave for the rest of her life😶 The way it happened was so silly though, Chizuru is always so silly😪 Fourth chapter ending was the worst, Takeda legit just killed her and started drinking her blood when he couldn’t win, like cooool🤨 Okay, unrequited love ending was disappointing too lol, not very dramatic at all.

Overall, I quite liked Iba’s route, maybe it’s also because it had a different story instead of the usual Kaoru or the Furies thing, but instead had Takeda and the Demon’s Arm thing, which I guess made it more refreshing. It’s definitely more violent with all the slashing off arms and torturing Iba though. But I did enjoy the “romance”. They didn’t actually spend much time “together” but I did enjoy how noble and kind of a guy Iba always was and how much he respected her and how strong his determination was to protect her. I always found it very endearing and sweet, but I guess that might be considered boring to others, since Iba never overstepped his boundaries and would always think that he’s unworthy of Chizuru, which is so not true! But yeah, he was a true nice guy that tried his best to hold on to his beliefs and also protect Chizuru and I liked that about him.

[letsbefeminist]

Hi, I hope I'm not bothering you but I was wondering if you had any advice for like getting your self-esteem/positive self-image back after being cheated on? My s.o. and I decided to still stay together but I'm just having trouble in the aftermath with feeling like myself, or feeling good about myself, or feeling like I'm still attractive to my partner. Also I love your blog and you're always so amazing and sweet in your replies so I hope you don't mind, thank you!

You are definitely not a bother & I’m incredibly sorry you’re even dealing with this right now. It’s a devastating thing to go through & it really can change who you are & how you see/think about yourself.

((This is gonna be looooong as hell tbh & also, thank you for being so sweet! It really made my night & I don’t mind at all you coming to me to talk! 💜💗))

Okaaay, I found out all the way back in November that my partner cheated on me. Like you, i decided to stay with him & work through things but I gotta say, this has been a challenge like no other.

Sooo, I know EXACTLY what you mean about not feeling good about yourself & not feeling attractive to the person you love so dearly. It’s incredibly difficult to feel like yourself when you’ve been betrayed by someone so close to you. By someone who’s supposed to have your back. But you’re still in there my love. It’s just a new scar, that’s all.

Like, it’s taken me months to even attempt this, but day by day lately, I’ve been stacking bricks, trying to build a wall between me & all that bullshit & hurt. Like I literally envision a wall. So yes, it is hard but it’s also doable. Even if it’s slow to happen.

You gotta remember/find out who you are outside of your relationship & outside of being cheated on. Yes, it changes you, it makes you angry & sad & sometimes it’s just agonizing to live with it but it’s not who we are at all. Being cheated on isn’t what defines us!

We are so much more than this shitty thing that happened to us. Sooo much more.

My angel, remember that you weren’t cheated on because you’re unattractive, unworthy, unlovable, or whatever. You’re gonna have to tell yourself this until you listen. Until you actually start believing it. This is legit one of the bricks for my wall & it’s going to be one of the most important ones tbh.

& yeah, this part is DEFINITELY easier said than done, but I’m closer to listening to that today than I was just last month. You’ll get there too. Biggest thing is, don’t rush. Healing takes time. Working on trusting again takes time. Working on feeling like yourself takes time. That’s okay. Believe me.

Next step to building that confidence back up is don’t fucking hate on yourself!!! My goodness, I struggle with this so every time I say that I’m just ugly or that he doesn’t love me I’m knocking a brick off my wall & I got to start over again. That’s unfair to ourselves. We can’t do that.

So every time you start hating on yourself you HAVE to make the conscious effort to quit that shit. Say something nice about yourself. I don’t care if it’s something like your earlobe is cute. Anything positive, no matter how small, is AUTOMATICALLY better than whatever hateful thing you’re saying at the moment. Work on that. Work on being nice to yourself because you’re already going through so much & without a doubt, you did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to deserve being cheated on. You wouldn’t say mean things to someone who is already hurting, so why do it to yourself?

Ask for help is the next thing on my list. Find people who boost your confidence & who you can vent to. A family member, your BFF, anyone. Ask them to be your hype man. To remind you how great you are. How fucking gorgeous & sweet you are, how damn funny & smart you are. This is especially important when you start falling into a self-hate spiral. It’s sooo easy to forget how others see us when someone so close changed the way you view yourself, but that positive reinforcement does do a lot. ((& yeah, you’re gonna be like bullshit a lot of the times, but it does help to hear it. Even if you only believe them for a minute, that’s one less minute of feeling horrible)).

You should also try to do all those things that make you feel good about yourself. The things that made you feel lovable & attractive. Whether that’s dressing up & going on a date or something more intimate & personal. Allow yourself to feel sexy in your own eyes & in the eyes of your partner.

Do the things that always seem to make your partner go wild for you (I know how cheesy this sounds😎). If they’re all like “daaaaaaamnnn,” that’s gonna feel pretty fucking good. Bask in those moments because you need that good feeling. It helps so much to feel like you’re fine as hell to your partner & if you find yourself no believing them, revert back to the above.

Also, you’re gonna have to tell your partner what you need from them. Specifically & generically. Like, that was the biggest thing for me & our relationship. I needed him to be an open book so he’s steady being open about who he’s talking to on his phone, what he’s doing on social media & so on & so forth. Like it’s gotten to the point where Im not always having to ask, he’ll just tell me. That helps build the trust back up.

I also asked him to do things that make me feel important & special again. Things that are outside of sex (this is so damn important). Like when he buys me flowers randomly or calls me beautiful when I least expect it, that feel so good. That helps me feel like I’m thought about, cared about, loved & special to him. It sounds basic but that’s what normal partners do & the goal is to feel normal within the relationship again.

You clearly love this person & want this relationship to workout so you’re also gonna need to remind yourself about how they used to make you feel. Like, at some point they made you feel like you were on top of the world. Hold on to those feelings & memories. REMIND YOURSELF THAT THE PERSON WHO MADE YOU FEEL SO GREAT IS STILL IN THERE!!! THAT THEY LOVE YOU FOR YOU!! THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED!!!!

Yes, a lot has changed & you’re gonna have to accept that things can’t go exactly back to the way they used to be. So you gotta work on a better tomorrow. A tomorrow where you can trust this person again. One where you feel normal & good & attractive again. Hold onto the good memories & make even better ones. This all helps you move forward, & that’s the whole point. I know you miss those good ol’ days but those aren’t the only ones that are going to matter & getting caught up on how things used to be is just gonna depress the hell outta you. Like I’ve made myself sick doing this & I’m trying like hell to stop doing it. It’s okay to miss how things were, but if you really want to move on, you got to accept that things have changed & that it can be a good thing.

Another great thing you can do for yourself is live up the moments you feel good. Like when you had a good day, hold onto that. Be excited about that. Be proud of e v e r y single moment that you didn’t think about yourself negatively or about being cheated on, because like I said, it isn’t what defines you.

There’s a lot you are going to have to work on personally. There’s also a lot you’ll have to work on together. You’re going to have to be open when you can & sometimes you’re just gonna have to wipe the tears & keep on keepin’ on. That shit is hard but it’s for you & your relationship. It can be worth it!

Don’t be so quick to doubt yourself & the impact you have on your partner. There is soooo many qualities of yours that would make anyone lucky to have you in their life & lemme tell you, they know this.

Soo if you gotta walk around like the cockiest mofo around in order to believe it, so be it. If that’s what helps get your confidence back up, shooooo then fake it till you make it boo.

It’s gonna take so much strength & courage from you to feel better & to feel like yourself again but it will happen. It’s gonna be agonizing at times & it’ll probably be slow too but progress is progress, no matter how much bullshit you go through to get there.

But, all in all my dear, you are smart, beautiful, kind, sweet, strong as fuck, & worth loving & if you need me to remind you of that, I will. Every day I will.

I want you to be happy & it’s okay to struggle with how you feel. Just know that that’s not the end of the road. This isn’t the only chapter that’s written in your book. You have to remember all the great things about you & that happens one day at time. So be patient. Be gentle with yourself & allow yourself time to heal.

You’ll feel like yourself again one day & you’ll feel attractive & good about yourself one day too. Just know you have my support & I know exactly how you feel so if you ever need to talk shugg, I am here for you.

So let me end all this with hopefully a smile because I’m gonna send you all the great, incredible love vibes your way sugaaaaah 🌈🔮💕💚💘

[alizrak]

Finished watching Season 4 with my niece! (or how I had an existential crisis and came out the other side... kinda)

I finished watching Rebels Season 4 with my niece. Just like with season 1, 2 and 3, I made a compilation of her comments. I refreshed her mind a little about where we last we saw of the crew, at the battle in Atollon, and how Sabine's family helped the Rebels escape. "Oh, yeah! They escaped and then you told me Kallus became popular because of his hair, right?" YES. Yes, my child, you are right.

As it has been quite obvious, she's a big Kanera fan since the pilot itself. She was hooked from the start with the Space Family concept. Also, she's likes Sabezra but has told me is ok if they don't. Ahsoka is still her big fave in all Star Wars.

We finished the first half on December so I actually didn't know what to expect of the later half. My comments to her are inside parenthesis. Obviously, you will find SPOILERS AHEAD.

Hero's of Mandalore Part 1:

"Sabine looks like that part in Wonder Woman when she climbs out and is all like 'YEAH!'"

"I love the Darksaber. It looks so cool. Sabine has almost become an expert using it"

"Oh, Ezra is so funny! :D"

"Who's that?", [Bo-Katan explanation], "Oh, Sabine should give the Darksaber to her... [she refuses]... aw! Just take it! Sabine doesn't want it. Why won't anyone take it!?"

"[sighs] How is Kanan supposed to know where Hera's hologram is? He can't see. She's not really there so he can't sense her either"

"Kanan is getting flirty! Hehehe!"

[They attack the convoy] "WOOOOO! AWESOME! Sabine is going to kick your butts!"

"Hahahaha 'I'm with her', hahahah Oh, Ezra, you better give a good impression if you want him as your father-in-law"

"Kanan is so cool"

"They need to jump now! How is Ezra going to-... WOAH. WOW! Look at him! He has really really improved with the Force!"

"Oooh, Sabine's dad is an Artist too. That's why she is like that"

[Sabine warns her mother to run] "Oh no. Run. Do as she says! Don't stare! OH NO... OH NO."

"Oh no... Sabine's mother... and her brother... No. This is horrible...! D':" [covers her face and starts sobbing] ((Shitshitshit))

Heroes of Mandalore Part 2:

[Still sniffing covering her face] "Poor Sabine! :'("

"Wait...! [*gasp*] THEY ARE ALIVE!? THEY MADE ME SHED TEARS ON PURPOSE!!! HOW DARE THEY!?"

"Protect the parents!"

"Everyone is really angry with Sabine. I get it but it's not her fault"

"Wait... wait. What? They won't leave their armor? Can't they just, like, put it away during certain battles? Then put it back on? Or just not use it for this war? Is not like they are going to destroy their old armors forever! Just to win this one.... They won't? Really?? That's dumb"

"Oh my god, we have been over this! It's not her fault! You know, I wouldn't be surprised if someone actually just shoots her in the head thinking they will prevent another weapon from been made"

"HOW IS KANAN WATCHING SABINE'S PLAN ON THE SCREEN? HE HAS NO EYES! ARGHH!"

[when approaching the Star Destroyer] "Just make sure to come back to your wife!" ((You know Kanan and Hera aren't married)) "Eh, they might as well be, they have been together all these years and have almost adopted Ezra, that's enough for me"

"If Kanan and Hera had children, What would they look like? Like humans? Like Twi'lek? A combination of the two? Would it be "mestizaje*" (race-mixing in Spanish)?" ((Well, I told you before there was a female Twi'lek in Clone Wars who had children with a human, and the kids looked mostly like her. I guess it could be something like that... maybe they would take after Hera)).

[Sabine and Bo-Katan get struck by The Dutchess] "NO! NO! DONT KILL HER!"

[Sabine is ordered to improve the weapon] "No Sabine! Don't do it! *GASP* SHE BETRAYED THEM?.... AH! OH! HAHAHAHAH TAKE THAT! NOW IS YOUR TURN TO SUFFER!"

"Poor Ezra, his head almost got zapped. The Force told him to get the helmet off in time, but it seems like it still hurt"

"Sabine should kill him. But... ok, it's better if she doesn't fall into the Darkside"

"FINALLY! Bo-Katan is going to keep the Darksaber! GOOD! Sabine is free!"

In the Name of the Rebellion Part 1

"Are Zeb and the others over there in the new base?"

"This is sooo coooool! Just like the movies! [GASP] I think I saw like an R2D2!!"

"Where is Hera?? Kanan needs to say hello to his wifey!"

"Yep, she's got this!"

"ooh Kallus! You look nice! And he is GOOD now! I'm so happy for him!"

"Wait... Ezra is right, What about Lothal??"

[After Mon Mothma's talk with Ezra] "This is too complicated..."

[Kanan goes to speak with Hera "I don't have to see you to know you are not right"] "I still can't believe the voice of Kanan send me a message" ((NOTE: FPJ replied to a tweet I made about my niece still not being entirely over the fact that Kanan lost his eyes, he told me to let her know he could see better now than he ever could before. She was obviously sto learn he replied. ))

"NICE! Sabine and Ezra have excellent teamwork. That's good if they end up together"

"Hera needs to go back for the kids fast"

"Saw is taking them, heh, mom doesn't like that one bit"

In the Name of the Rebellion Part 2

* "They are looking for some clues... Clues about what again?"

"Oh... they found prisoners... wait! ARE THEY GOING TO RELEASE THEM JUST LIKE THAT? How can they know if they are good? What if they are actually got arrested doing something bad!? Criminals? Assassins? They shouldn't just go around releasing everyone."

"Woah, Ezra has improved a lot! He's learned well from Kanan! [*SQUEE*]"

"What's that singing?"

"Aw... Chopper feels so good to be praised. How cute!"

"[SCREAM] THE BLACK TROOPERS! KILL THEM!! FAST!"

"YEAH! Sneak around in the shadows! WOAH! EZRA IS AMAZING!"

"What's that?..." (( A kyber crystal, like the one Ezra uses on his lightsaber, but gigantic)) "Oh, this is not good. This could be a terrible weapon" (( Like... the deathstar?)) "Ah! You are right!! OOPS!"

"I just can't believe how great has Ezra become. Look at him using the Force like that"

"SAW! HE BETRAYED THEM!" [RAGE]

"Wait, he's... he is leaving them!! HE ACTUALLY LEFT THEM TRAPPED!"

"Yes Chopper! Call for mom to pick you all up!"

"Ezra should have killed the Death Trooper, it could be trouble later on"

"Oh come on, come on, you can make it!... *phew*... they might be stranded but alive... oh, here comes Hera! YAY! They are safe and sound"

The Occupation

"I feel sorry for Ezra, he only wants to help"

"He's there to stay. YES! I like how secure and confident he's now. He's more mature. I'm proud of him."

"Everything is so bad now..."

"uuuuh, they are going to a dark alley, hehehe, HEY YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE!? HAHAHAHA"

[I wish I could see you] "Oh yeah, what does it matter if he can see everything so well with the Force and stuff... EXCEPT HIS BEAUTIFUL LOVING WIFE. Ugh, I don't know if they-... OH GOD THEY ARE GOING TO KISS YES YESSSS-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEB! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" [writhes] "FRUIT!!!", ((Fruit?)), "You know, like Fruit"... (( -_- that language...)) Note: Mission accomplished, Filoni. You even made my niece 'fake swear' in frustration. xD****

"Going to a bar is not a good idea..."

"Oh, look he's helping them! Is that... wait... I KNOW HIM, what was his name?" (( Jai Kell)) "YES!" ((From the Academy)) "YEAH! AMAZING! Oh they are all grown up"

"Hahahahaha, did Ezra grow up in the sewers?? Hahahaha, oh Zeb that's a good one... but I can't forgive you that you interrupted them!"

"WOAH Kanan gets more impressive as time goes, same as Ezra. I love it!"

"Ezra and Kanan can defend them... mostly. Just stay together or... NO, GO ABOVE, GO GO GO GO"

FLIGHT OF THE DEFENDER

"I love those cats, so cute!"

"Gotta make a distraction with kitties! Wait-... they are not going to shoot at them, right?"

"THRAWN. NO. NO. GET OUT OF THERE NOW!"

"A bigger distraction with a wolf! That's a good idea! Wait-... is there something wrong with that wolf?

"What was that wolf? He's gone now. Was it an illusion? An hallucination? Is Ezra going crazy? Like that time with Maul in the desert? Is Ezra falling to the darkside again??"

"Hahahaha, Ezra is always so clumsy and funny"

"Shoot at Thrawn! You can end this!.... aww they missed..."

"they weren't using seat belts! Are they ok??"

"Can't Ezra use the Force to float the machine where they need to go?"

"Uh, another lothcat! Cats really love Ezra!"

"What a smart loth cat"

"He can control the wolf so he doesn't bite-.... What the- What? What did he do to Sabine? Oh god he killed her with his bad breath???"

"He's a friend? I don't-...I don't get it. Ok, he can help I guess"

"Dume? Is that a person?" (Don't you remember? Caleb Dume? That's was Kanan's original name) "Wait... so why would it go for Ezra if he wants Kanan? Why is he hiding himself from Kanan? From Sabine and the others? Is he planning something bad? Does he want the others to think Ezra is crazy? Is he an illusion? A Ghost? I don't understand"

KINDRED

"They came to Lothal to find Ezra. That's their destiny. They should already start a family and adopt him too so he can be a big brother. They need a normal life"

"An assassin... he looks dangerous"

"Don't shoot me! Shoot him! Hahahaha, yeah, they should blast him"

"He's too good! Ezra use the Force to squish him with those rocks!!"

"Yeah, Hera should take a break. She's been fighting non-stop and... oh-. Uh! UH! THEY ARE KISSING-! NOOOOOO!! WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS TO US!??"

"YES! YEEESS YEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!! MOM AND DAD FINALLY KISSED"

"The wolves are back... oh no, they are going to think Ezra is losing his mind in the worst possible time...wait, they can see them? Why...? Are they real? But... like... what? Ok, ok! Just follow them!"

"They are good right? They are not going to attack them"

"There is no way out... They ARE going to eat them"

"They want Kanan. Yeah, he knows they are looking at him. But why him?? Can't the wolf talk more and explain?"

"This makes no sense. WHAT IS HAPPENING? How can they do that? Is that magic? The Force? Explain it to me, please!" ((They just can)) "I don't care about spoilers, just explain" ((I'm sorry, but we just don't know)) "But you know all this stuff! You already watch it!" ((Yeah, but how the wolves do what they do is still kind of a mystery... they just do it with the Force))

"This is all too confusing. Cool but confusing"

"They ended up all the way on the other side of the planet!?? Whaaaaaaaaa!?"

"Those paintings! Yes! Those are Jedi! What does the rest mean? Is it about Kanan too? Please tell me!" ((I can only assume it is. I can tell you they won't say anything else about them...)) "What?? Why not??"

"I don't understand!"

CRAWLER COMMANDEERS

"They are burning everything... they are contaminating. How horrible"

"Mon Mothma and the others are going to say no. How dare they. Hera has done all that stuff for them. How ungrateful"

"Is that what I sound like?, hahahahaha"

"This is creepy. Like a horror movie. Are there zombies in Star Wars?"

"Oh! It's that guy! Yeaaah, they totaaaally came to rescue you, suuuure"

"Kanan will show him! He can't beat a Jedi!... NOOO! DONT HURT HIM! NOT KANAN!!"

"Fight Zeb! You are the muscle!"

"Ventilation shaft. This is a job for Ezra~!"

"Hahaha, he thinks he's so grown up and he doesn't have to do it anymore"

"That... that was dark. Disturbing. Oh no. Ezra... is coming back to the darkside! If Kanan realizes he's going to be on big trouble!" ((Eh... no...)) "but he let him die in that horrible way" ((He was a slaver, remember)) "Yeah, but it would have been better if he just cut off his head... quicker, less pain"

REBEL ASSAULT

"Well, Thrawn warned him. It's his fault"

"Wait... they actually shot them down. Is she ok? She can't die, right?"

"Kanan! YOU NEED TO GO SAVE YOUR WIFE... WHY IS EVERYONE LEAVING?"

"She's wounded! She needs to get out of there"

"This is bad. This is all wrong."

[Kanan stops and turns around] "YES! It was about time you stopped and went for her! Ezra you need to go with him! DONT LET HIM GO ALONE!"

"No. Oh no. No. No. Poor Chopper. He had to leave her behind..."

"What's wrong with these wolves!! THEY DONT MAKE ANY SENSE! UGH!"

"He is not going to abandon her right?"

Ok, so that was the first half. I wrote it as soon as we finished that half of the season. During the weeks leading up to the second half I think I had made clear here on reddit about what I thought what would happen in the show. My main prediction was that Ezra and Kanan would somehow end up stranded in the UR (with or without Thrawn) and would be regarded as MIA/KIA by the Rebellion which would explain their absence in the OT. Even though the family was going to get separated, I thought it would be ok because Ezra and Kanan would have each other. The Ghost crew wouldn't be able to go look for them until the end of the war, some time after Endor, until they were free to seek them out. I even assumed Hera would have Kanan's child and they would happily reunite at the end. ...You can tell I got it right in the most painful way imaginable, at least for me.

After finishing the show by myself, I wasn't sure I would be even be able to show her Jedi Night... the very first episode coming back. Like... what the hell. It destroyed me. How was she going to handle Kanan's death? She didn't know or care about the Hero's Journey. In fact, back in Season 3 she had made it clear she didn't care what Yoda said about Luke being the last Jedi because she just wanted Kanan and Ezra to be ok and alive because they had suffered enough. Hell, the whole reason I decided I would show her Rebels was because it was so wholesome and she was going through a rough patch because the man she pretty much regarded as her father, abandoned her and her mom. She immediately latched onto the whole space adoptive family aspect in Rebels, specially to the father figure in Kanan.

When the finale was over I went over the first half of the s4 comments again and realized the focus she had on Kanan and his relationship with Ezra and Hera... and I just felt like I was spiraling down into a pit of regret. I kept telling myself "what have you done".

I waited a week or two after the finale to let myself grieve and try to be emotionally ready for her, but then... every time I tried to start showing her Jedi Night, something horrible happened: the father of a friend of hers died after a hospital complication and she was the only one who was able to go to the funeral to comfort her friend, and then the following week the Grandfather of her cousin also died from a heart-attack. Jedi Night was completely out of the question for a month. Then she went on vacation, then her mother was very sick so she had to stay at home for weeks, etc. I kept emotionally bracing myself for the day we had picked and having to cancel in the last minute for the worst painful reasons. I grew depressed. I almost gave up. But she kept reminding me we hadn't watch it and I just tried to smile and assure her we would.

So, we finally did. I recorded the audio so I could do the most exact translation/transcription I could.

JEDI NIGHT

[Kanan gives Ezra the lead] "Uhm... I'm not sure this is right. You are the adult, he's the kid" (Is because he would be in emotionally compromised) "Uh... yeah, he could lose control. Like Anakin did"

[Pryce tortures Hera] "THAT WITCH"

"THE KALIKORI!... so much for it... you will need to learn to let it go, Hera. Let go."

[Pryce continues to torture Hera] "THIS IS REALLY DISTURBING!"

"What is Kanan doing?" (Preparing) "Preparing for what?" (Because what he is going to do is pretty important) "Oh, yeah, he cuts his hair... we saw it on the trailer. Why is it important that he *cuts his hair*??" (It's a... symbol of change) "...aaand what kind of change? Is he not going to love Hera anymore?" (Wha-, No)

"PFFFT, [sarcastic] *I toootaaally like your change! Definitely cool! YEP!* xP", (Hey, he looks younger. He's actually younger than me), "How old is he?", (He should be... 32) "WHAT!!?"

"TIME TO FLY! There they go!"

"...but that change of hairstyle is not going to mean he is going to lose his cool to save Hera, right?"

[Thrawn and Tarkin talk] (Stardust is the Death Star project, from Krennic the bad guy in Rogue One, you remember?) "Oh! That's right!"

"... Kanan can still fall like what happened with Anakin with Padme..." (No, Anakin was very different to Kanan... Kanan knows how to let go) "Yeah... maybe"

"Wait... I know. He doesn't want Hera to like him anymore, that's why he did it, because Jedi can't marry" (keep watching)

"I still wonder how did he cut his hair with just the knife"

[Ezra, Sabine, May the Force be with you] "[big smile] He's so nice and cool. He trusts they will get the job done. He's like a proud dad"

"[GASP] THE KALIKORI IS THERE!"

"WHAT IS SHE DOING TO HERA!?" [drugging her to make her to tell truth] "HORRIBLE! GO TO HELL"

"HERA! NO! SHUT UP! She's going to see him! oh... ok.... Hehehehe"

"She's going to tell him she hates his hair... YEAH!!"

[Rukh starts chasing them] "I hate that guy"

"C'mon Kanan! SHOW HIM WHAT A JEDI CAN DO! [chants] *Kanan! Kanan! Kanan! Kanan!*.... NOO!!!! THROW HIM! THROW HIM! YESSSS!"

"Are they leaving without Sabine and Ezra?" (They are moving to meet in another place) "Oh that's right, they got the other ship"

[they start climbing the fuel depot] "That's dangerous..."

[Sabine shakes off the storm troopers] "This is very disturbing. Do you know how horrible must it be to fall from that height?" Note: Niece actually fell from the third floor of an apartment building and survived because she fell on a shrub a couple of years ago.

[They kiss] "YES! BUT HE IS A JEDI SO HE CANT! I MEAN YES! BUT NO! Ok, yes yes! BUT THEY SHOULDN'T! Ok, YES!" (What makes a Jedi is protecting others first... and to love and be able to let go)

"Oops they found them"

sigh.... here we go...

[fuel depot is shot] "[GASP] Get on, KANAN! GET ON! RETREAT! RETREAT!"

"KANAN, GET ON!! DON'T BE FOOLISH!"

[She gets up and attempts to leave the room] (SIT, you need to sit.) "I DONT WANT TO WATCH THIS"

[Kanan's eyes heal] "WHAT THE-!??" (The Force returned his sight.) "WHAT??"

[Kanan pushes the the ship away, gets engulfed in flames] "...."

[Rebels logo appears, credits roll] [she stares silence] "Is he really dead?" ([I nod])

"...I'm like... I can't... I can't think." (He saw Hera. Remember? 'We will see each other again, I promise.') "YEAH SHUT-" [storms off]

[falls to the ground]

[gives a long wail full of pain and rage]

[stays in the floor bawling]

[I lie down with her and hold her]

"HE DIED!" [sobs] "HE DIED! ...KANAN!" (He had to do what he had to do. Come... let's keep watching.) "No. I don't want to. I don't want to keep watching." (You need to see what's next.) "No. I don't." (Come on.) "No. I don't want anything else..." (My BF: Give her a moment)

[weeps in the floor for a couple of minutes more and then stays there lying face down in silence]

(Come, sweetie, get up) "...Is he truly dead??" (Yeah. He died... but remember, the Force... you become part of it... and technically his story is not truly over) "It's over! He's dead!" (Remember, everyone is connected to the Force... you need to see what happens) "[she slowly comes to sit and keep watching] I'm regretting watching this" (ok... just let me-) "I mean- DID YOU SEE EZRA'S FACE? HE-... [tears up again] He didn't-... he couldn't do anything about it! He was so confused and shocked... Sabine too! They were crying! Ezra was desperate! [sobs] KANAN COULD HAVE JUST GOTTEN INTO THE SHIP AND BLOCK IT FROM THERE! Why didn't he?? Just get on the ship and that's it... push themselves away to safety*... *why?"

(Ok, let's keep watching) "...ok..."

DUME

(See... all the fuel they had for the TIE defender factory was destroyed) "Can't they, like, bring more? Like a gas station?" (I don't know)

"Zeb is so happy. He doesn't know. He's going to see them crying..."

"He's gone..." [tears up]

"TURN IT OFF YES"

["You didn't prepared me for this"] [covers her face and sobs]

"Why are they so mean!? Leave him alone! It's not his fault! He just lost his DAD! I thought the wolves were his friends! They make no sense!"

"...and we were just talking about this at school..." (what?) "...about the character deaths in shows and movies that made us cry..." (Oh) "...did you cry? Did you cry when Kanan died?" (I teared up... I was sad too)

[Thrawn chews Pryce] "KARMA! YOU GONNA GET WHATS COMING TO YOU!"

[at the cave, while Hera grieves] "... oh, Kanan left his things there..."

[Ezra: "AAAH! WHAT HAPPENED!"] "Hehehehehe, oh Ezra..." [dries her tears]

["AH! That thing looked right at me!"] "Hehehehe...uh-oh it seems he's tracking them again"

["We take something from them"] "Nonononono, that's the darkside, don't go there. Kanan wouldn't have wanted that. That's wrong!"

[Dume wakes Ezra] "...could it be that Kanan became the wolf?" [I pause and quickly grab the Kanan Disney Infinity figurine where it shows his shoulder pad] (Check this out... look at the wolf's forehead) "[GASP!] It's him!"

* ["DUME"] "...ahm... that's... not exactly Kanan"

[Rukh becomes invisible] "How can't they see him?? He's still pretty obvious"

["He was wise, brave and he cared"] "Kanan loved him"

"What's that? Are they going to fight with... Rock-Paper-Scissors?? What???"

"Heh! He's all painted! Get him! Yeah! In the face!... ok, that's enough, enough, ENOUGH! Just don't let him go! Capture him!"

["Knowledge, Destruction"] "Yeah that's right... Ahsoka and that temple... that was bad"

"Why are the wolves so angry with Ezra? Can't they give him a break? Was that really Kanan? He didn't act like him at all! He wouldn't have done that to Ezra. He would have been kinder" (Well, is just a small part of Kanan. He needed to send that message... so a lil bit of Kanan was reaching through the force with his will...) "...UH?... what?...I don't understand"

(She made Kanan part of her family) "Like her husband?" (yep, you could say that. He's the triangle in the Kalikori) "How nice. That's good. They were like that already. I'm sure they even had to go undercover like that. Say they were married for some mission..."

"Chopper is her emotional support"

"Is like they forgot about Ezra until that last moment... how irresponsible"

[pouts] "I regret watching this episode because they didn't bring Kanan back. The people that make the shows can bring back characters. They can. That's what they do." (Sometimes...)

WOLVES AND A DOOR

* "hahaha, Chopper... what about me? CHOMP"

[dances with the sound of drums while the wolves run]

[wolves disappear] "Woah"

"That's the past. Voices of the past. All of that already happened, right?... is... is Kanan's voice ever going to show up again with new lines?" (He was the giant wolf's voice) "whaaa...? Really?"

"Now Ezra is the new leader" (Yep. That's why Kanan gave him the responsibility of the other mission too. He knew what would happen) "What?? How did he know? How do YOU know??" (All those voices in the beginning when he was meditating, remember? Those were visions of what would happen. He did that to save them) "... but the future is NOT written! He could have changed it! It is not set in stone!"

"Who's that guy?"

"You don't need our codes... hehehe... How does Ezra know it worked? That he's not lying and that he actually got affected by the trick?" (I don't know)

"The Emperor... this is bad. Really bad. I don't think Ezra is strong enough to defeat him"

[Hera feels Kanan's presence] "... oh Kanan... why..."

(That bird was always near Ahsoka) "Oh yeah... I kinda remember it. When she was walking down the tunnel I think I saw it too"

"How can they know all this? How are they getting to those conclusions? They are geniuses! I could have never guessed that..."

[Ezra lits up the mural] "Woah... that's going to attract attention"

"Get in! GET IN!"

WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS

"Is Ezra in *space*?" ((Not exactly))

[a pathway between all time and space, he controls the temple, controls the universe] "...uh... WHO? Ezra? He's not that powerful" ((Whoever opens that portal)) "Oh... so Ezra can do whatever he wants?? He should bring Kanan back" (( [pokerface] ))

"What are those voices??" ((They come from the different movies, different times, even from Rogue One... Kylo, Rey... Leia))

"Those are other portals! OOH!"

"THE BIRD! AHSOKA'S BIRD!"

"Is Ahsoka in that portal? Has Ahsoka come through these portals?"

[the portal shows Vader and Ahsoka] "AHSOKA!! WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE!?"

"oh my god, that's right... THIS IS-! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD, PLEASE DONT LET HER GET KILLED BY VADER, TELL ME THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN BECAUSE ILL KILL ANAKIN"

"HWAAAAAAAAAARH! [unintelligebly screams] SAVE HER!!"

[Ezra pulls hers] "WAH!!?? WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED THERE? DID HE JUST-"

[niece jumps off her seat] [SCREAMS] "HE JUST BROKE THROUGH TIME AND SPACE!"

[the minister gets Sabine beaten] "UUURGHH! I'LL KILL HIM!"

"She's fine! SHE'S AWAKE! OH MY GOD AHSOKA [hollering]"

"*'Ezra, what happened to your hair!?'* HAHAHAHAHA, oh this is going to be a shock for her"

"Ok, I'm very good about time travel... but has this been repeating over and over again in that portal until Ezra came by?" ((Is hard to tell exactly...)) "because if she was gone for all that time, it should be because of this, right?" ((Well, the only thing we actually knew about her is that... she was walking down a tunnel at the end of the Season 2, remember?)) "Yeah, that's where the Ahsoka Lives comes from"

"Coincidence?... I DONT THINK SO!"

"Kanan IS the wolf"

"Oh my god! LOOK! THAT'S HIM! Kanan is in the constellations here!"

[Ezra: "I can save Kanan just like I saved you!"] "NOOO! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! YOU CAN'T MESS WITH SPACE TIME!"

"[sobs]"

((That portal... the symbols are Sith)) "Oh, no, this is wrong..."

["I'm asking you to let go"] "Again... [sobs]"

"[sniffles] Ezra has suffered so much... why can't he be happy just once? At least he still has Hera and the others..." (( [sweating intensifies]))

"Why can't she come back with him-? What-?" ((It wasn't really Kanan in that portal... just an illusion so Ezra would reach out and bring in the Emperor, it had been a trap)) "[GLARES] I hate him"

"The Son closes the Portal... ok"

"EZRA HELP HER WITH THE FORCE DONT STAND THERE!"

"Where did she go!? Where is she?" ((Back from where she was taken from)) "That's why we saw her going down there!"

"RUN EZRA!"

"I love Zeb"

"CHOOOPPPPEEEEER! *CHOPPER! CHOPPER!*"

"He knows exactly what to do now... woah, MOTHER OF-... why are the paintings leaving??"

"What's happening? Ezra ended up all messed up. He used all his Ki." (([SNORTS]))

"Wait... was that.. WAS THAT KANAN? REPEAT IT! I NEED TO HEAR HIM! HIS SWEET VOICE!" [The Force will be with you, always] "Oh Kanan... [covers face and sobs]"

"W-why... what happened? HOW?"

"So nobody will be able to be a Jedi now... the temple is gone" ((Eh... I'm not sure. There's still Luke)) "Is not the same. The Temple was the test. The school"

"Goodbye Kanan"

FOOLS HOPE

"ohohoho, Kallus, you look good!"

"It's like a family reunion! Everyone's here! How nice!"

"Aaaww...Hondo is actually Ezra's only friend" ((Are you sure?)) "Yeah, the others are his family. Hera is his mom, Sabine his sister, Zeb and the others are uncles... But Hondo is his FRIEND. A real friend"

"Ezra is listening... just like Kanan taught him to"

"He's having visions!!"

"Oh wow, he didn't kill her??" ((You mean Thrawn and Pryce)) "YEAH" ((No, he said he would handle her when he came back)) "Good... she deserves what's coming to her"

"[GASP] AZADI, THAT TRAITOR, HOW DARE HE!"

"Uh-oh, what's happening... THEY ARE COMING! RUN! LEAVE! HIDE! NO DONT KILL THEM TOO, NO!" ((SIT DOWN))

"Hopefully they'll execute her!!"

"AND THAT UGLY GUY!"

"EZRA, SLICE THAT GUY LIKE SUSHI! GO GO GO, OH YEAH!"

[I've done this many times] "Hahahha he kept counting!"

"WOOOHOO! THAT'S MY SABINE! MY GIRL! YEAH! VICTORY!"

"... ok ALMOST VICTORY"

"Who lives? Who dies!? *YOU DECIDE!*"

"Sabine, what happened with your 'miracles'?"

"Traitor... go to hell. They were going to win!"

[It was part of our plan] "Wait... really? OH!"

"Can't Ezra make a Force field to shield himself?" ((No, he's not that strong with the Force))

"The Clones! They actually have good aim!"

[Where is your army now, Jedi?] [Ezra activates the lightsaber] "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DROP MIC, WALK OUT AND KILL EVERYONE"

[manical laugh] "YEAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Is it Kanan and his friends? Or just his friends?" ((Oh, the wolves? Just the normal ones)) "The friends... ok"

"What are they going to do with her?"

FAMILY REUNION AND FAREWELL

"Oh... his parents... well, at least he still has his new family"

"What are they doing then with Pryce?"

"What's Zeb doing? Is that part of the plan?"

"What is the pig going to do?"

"A distraction? Are they that stupid? I can't believe they fell for that! They make them too dumb"

[This is highly irregular] "Oh finally, someone smarter..."

"Well, he was not that dumb... Azadi did well"

"A special mission? Uh..."

"GO WOLF! EAT HIM!"

[Leave Lothal and we might let your troops out] "[\snort**] What are you saying, Ezra? He's got you... of course, you'll need to surrender"

"Oh no...Just surrender! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING!!"

"He needs to go directly to Thrawn. Straight to him."

"Hera, don't-... I know you are worried but he needs to do this"

[Ezra signals Chopper] "wait... what's... what is he-..."

[Sabine notices and distracts the others] "... he knew exactly what was going to happen! HE LISTENED JUST LIKE HIS MASTER! HE LISTENED! I LOVE YOU EZRA! I LOVE YOU! YOU LISTENED FOR ONCE!"

"Think of what would Kanan want, Hera"

[Ezra gets taken to Thrawn] "Don't give him the pleasure to get angry. Just stay calm"

[Who deserves what is irrelevant. What matters is who has power] "...well, he's not wrong. That's how real life works" (( I... ಠ_ಠ ... *sigh* ))

"What are they going to do to Ezra? The Emperor is not really there?... wait- is he using labial????" ((...whaat??))

"How nice, the wolves are following them!"

"The pig reminds me of Oolong from Dragon Ball"

"What's wrong with you Hera? You usually take the lead when Kanan wasn't around... Sabine is doing everything now... why?"

[Palpatine offers what could be] "What... No don't go, this is a trap! Think like Kanan! THINK!"

"NO YOU ARE FALLING"

"THINK LIKE KANAN!"

[Kallus and Gregor arrive at the generators] "The Empire should really *really* recruit people with better aim. I mean... look at that. They can't hit anything" (([LAUGH])) "Having all that power and resources, can't they get better people? Train them better?" (([LAUGHS HARDER]))

[Open the door] "No! Think it through Ezra! ...This moment... this place is where you really want to live in!"

[Melch gets hit] "Oh no they are starting to kill everyone"

"Zeb flew! He's crazy! WOAH!"

[Gregor gets hit] "Wh-what? NO! NO WAY! NO WAY! That trooper was down already! That's not fair! It shouldn't count!"

"Since when bad guys are good? No, Ezra, he's tricking you, you know this"

[Go on, you deserve this] "Oooh, I feel weird about that...but... n-no! No Ezra! Think like Kanan! Think like Kanan!"

[Ezra destroys the temple] "[claps] TAKE THAT! And your good looks are gone too! UH HUH! You are not some saint in white!"

"[laughs] Samurai? Samurai!"

[Ezra gets... tassed?] "Ok, that doesn't make me laugh anymore"

"You can do it EZRA! SQUISH THEM"

"I love Zeb's legs. They can make him jump so far and can grab on to almost anything" ((...ok))

"I hate how they are killing everyone" ((But is just Gregor, Melch survived)) "That doesn't mean they aren't trying!!"

[Purrgils appear] "WOOOOOOAAAH! [starts dancing]"

"Seems like they are enjoying this a lot... destroying all the ships"

[Whatever happens now] "Yep! Both of you!"

[tentacles break into the Chimaera's bridge]"I love him! You can do it Ezra! You are the best! Kanan would be proud!"

"Oh no... he's not going to leave"

[I have to see this through to the end] "THEY ARE KILLING EVERYONE!!!"******

[Ezra jumps to hyperspace] "... [stares in shock]..."

"... my vocabulary doesn't allow me the kinds of words I want to say..."

"Uhm, was that the plan? HAHAHA, oh yeah..."

"Oh so Pryce will stay... ok, goodbyeeeee"

"Be careful with Ezra's lightsaber! That's all we got left of him!" (( Yeah, in fact, is the only one they have left. We don't know where Kanan's ended up. Last time we saw it, Pryce had it and showed it to Thrawn)) "Maybe she still had it. Or is in her office. Or in Thrawn's museum... gallery" ((That's on Thrawn's ship... I don't think it got there))

"Cheers and so long! Everything went well! Well, most of it anyway because they kept killing everyone... the end shouldn't mean *'QUICK, KILL EVERYBODY!'\*, no no no no..."

[If you are watching this recording-] "*-Then I'm already dead*"

So there you have it. SHE GOT INTENSE. As always she was really vocal when she did or didn't like something. Kanan's death was very difficult to get through and I can't imagine doing it if we had watched the show live. Had DUME kept playing in TV we would have missed more than half the episode because she would simply don't stand up from the ground and she would have understood less. I had to explain her most of the stuff with the wolves, DUME/Kanan, the portals... and I knew it because I followed Rebels Recon and every interview I could find from Filoni but how many children did actually get it on their own? In any case, the second bggest shock was Jacen. That was a bomb and I'm actually surprised she took such issue with the "

[I can't wait to come home] "He's alive, but what does that matter if THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT! SO WHAT. There's nothing more! They are going to leave us hanging!!"

[Epilogue starts] ((Time passed)) "[frowns]... how much? How long?" ((years)) "[glares, eye twitches]" ((... like 5 to 6 years. The movies already happened. The ones with Luke, Leia and Han...)) "...WHERE IS EZRA!?"

"OOOH SABINE LOOKS AMAZING"

[Zeb took Kallus to Lira San] "That's nice"

"WHO IS HE???" [Jacen Syndulla] "....WHO DID YOU HAVE THAT BABY WITH, HERA!?" ((with Kanan! That's Kanan's son!!)) "[stares in disbelief]" ((Don't you believe me?)) "Ok, hold on... [stands up, goes to a corner and screams/laughs in confusion clawing at the wall]" ((what the-)) "IT JUST** *CAN'T* BE! HOW?? WHEN? They had just said I LOVE YOU and then he got killed! If Hera and Kanan hadn't said 'I love you' until just before he got killed, then how could they have done *it*!!?? IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE" ((Well, they were together before that!)) "[slightly disturbed] But without saying 'I love you'? how-....UGH, that would be weird... but... WHEN? AT WHAT TIME? We were watching them all the time! They never seemed to spent the night together!" ((They are not going to show that in a kids show! We assume she had gotten pregnant just before she left)) "THEN WHY DID KANAN DECIDE TO DIE IF HE WAS GOING TO BE A DAD! Why choose that path!? HIS SON NEEDS HIM! Hera needed him!" ((I'm not sure sure he knew)) "He knew! He could see the future! If he saw all that was going to happen then he knew!" ((She was likely going to get killed there. It was either her or him. He choose her to live. We- we haven't finished yet, we need to keep watching)) "I REFUSE! WHERE IS EZRA!? Where is he? WHE*RE IS* HE!?"**********

"Sabine! Where is he?"

[Ahsoka is waiting] "HELLO THERE" (( *SNORTS*))

[is time to bring him home] "So I guess they are going to make a movie of that, right?" ((A movie, a comic or a book.. maybe. Hopefully.)) "What... no. A movie! Not all kids read books or comics. We want to watch it!"

[credits rolls] "[smiles] Alright then... [stars laughing manically, rocking back and forth] IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! They couldn't have had a kid!"

((Remember that hashtag they used? #AhsokaLives? Well, now it is #WheresEzra)) "[desperate screaming]"

Bonus: I offhandedly mentioned her the Steve Blum's comment about Zeb going to Lira San to start a family with Kallus and she stared at me in disbelief and whispered "... oh my god...I never thought about it... they are perfect". xD

So there you have it. SHE GOT INTENSE. As always she was really vocal when she did or didn't like something. Kanan's death was very difficult to get through and I can't imagine doing it if we had watched the show live. Had DUME kept playing in TV we would have missed more than half the episode because she would simply don't stand up from the ground and she would have understood less. I had to explain her most of the stuff with the wolves, DUME/Kanan, the portals... and I knew it because I followed Rebels Recon and every interview I could find from Filoni but how many children did actually get it on their own? In any case, the second biggest shock was Jacen. That was a bomb and I'm actually surprised she took such issue with the "I Love You" problem. The implications actually unsettled her quite a lot. In any case, she is really angry about not knowing what happened to Ezra and when I told her about Resistance she didn't care because she wanted at least the story with Ahsoka and Sabine.

Well, it's over now. I'm still not completely over what happened and just trying to stay afloat waiting for any sign of the blueberries lost in space. I want to thank everyone for their kind comments. I hope this relatively small peek at what the target audience was thinking about the series has been a great experience for you guys too. Rewatching each season with my niece really put a lot of things in perspective. Right now she's coping by playing with me the Sims 3 with the whole cast I had done the other day. She wants me to stay put for any news on Sabine and Ahsoka sooo... night gathers and my watch begins. \SALUTES**

Submitted May 05, 2018 at 09:17PM via reddit https://ift.tt/2FQa0VG

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 12

THE 02/11/16 UPDATE

Sooo... Funny story, I already worked on this part, then I got LOGGED OUT for some reason, and lost everything I wrote. I got up to page 79. And because I’m a lazy bastard, I’m really gonna half-ass my recreation of what I wrote. So yeah, please forgive me for that. Once I get to page 79, I’ll probably start trying again.

KARKAT: (BUT STILL, THAT’S NOT OUR ONLY PROBLEM.) DAVE: (order now and youll get another mental breakdown absolutely free) DAVE: (two disasters for the low low price of one) DAVE: (what a steal) KARKAT: (DON'T GIVE ME YOUR SASS. I DIDN'T GET THESE DEBACLES FROM THE DOLLAR STORE, YOU KNOW.) KARKAT: (THIS IS SOME LEGITIMATELY TROUBLING SHIT, OKAY?) DAVE: (got it) DAVE: (im not even gonna continue that metaphor im putting on my serious face) DAVE: (youve got waldo the juaggalo on your mind what else) KARKAT: (WELL...) KARKAT: (I'M WORRIED ABOUT VRISKA, I GUESS.) DAVE: (vriska?) KARKAT: (I KNOW. CALL ME CRAZY, BUT MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE HAS BEEN TINGLING WITH GOOD REASON FOR VRISKA FUCKING SERKET.) DAVE: (ok) DAVE: (so whats the problem then) KARKAT: (SHOULD WE WAIT FOR HER TO GET BACK BEFORE WE CLAIM THE REWARD?) KARKAT: (WILL SHE EVEN *BE* COMING BACK?)

She BETTER be coming back, because she’s the greatest. I mean, I hope she will at least. LE’s probably gonna be a pain wrapping up, but now that he’s weakened I think it might be possible. She just needs to get a good roll..

DAVE: (uh) DAVE: (why wouldnt she) KARKAT: (LOOK, I DON’T KNOW ABOUT EVERYBODY ELSE, BUT THE BYZANTINE CHARADES SHE’S ALWAYS FLAUNTING? I KNOW SHE HAS TO FEEL LIKE THE MOST COMPETENT PERSON IN THE ROOM AT ALL TIMES, BUT) KARKAT: (IT’S ALL KIND OF PAPER THIN FROM MY PERSPECTIVE.) KARKAT: (I SPENT AN EMBARRASSING AMOUNT OF TIME TRYING TO CHASE THAT SAME FANTASY, AND I CAN TELL SHE’S STILL DANGEROUSLY CAUGHT UP IN IT.) KARKAT: (IT JUST SO HAPPENS SHE IS WAY BETTER AT CRAFTING SHAMELESS MACHIAVELLIAN SCHEMES THAN I EVER WAS.) KARKAT: (I DIDN’T CARE ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT THOUGH, SEEING AS IT WAS WORKING OUT BETTER FOR HER THAN IT EVER HAD FOR ME. OR IT WAS AS FAR AS I COULD TELL, ANYWAY.) KARKAT: (IN FACT, I WAS MORE THAN HAPPY TO DROP THAT FARCE ALTOGETHER AND ALLOW HER TO PICK UP THE SLACK AS SHE SEEMED SO EAGER TO DO.) KARKAT: (APPARENTLY THAT ONLY BECAME OFFICIAL AS OF A FEW HOURS AGO, BUT WHATEVER.) KARKAT: (THE POINT IS) KARKAT: (NOBODY IS EVEN CONSIDERING THE POSSIBILITY THAT VRISKA MIGHT) KARKAT: (*MIGHT*) KARKAT: (NOT ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT SHE’S DOING.) KARKAT: (BEYOND WHATEVER MASTER PLAN SHE COBBLED TOGETHER BASED ON WHAT COULD, FOR ALL WE KNOW, BE ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT, WHAT IS SHE ACTUALLY GOING TO DO?)

He has a point. I mean, her entire plan was basically “fuck the LE up, use the Juju.” but that didn’t work out for her! She clearly overestimated her plan here, against an unkillable god.

DAVE: (i dunno) DAVE: (what she usually does?) KARKAT: (BELIEVE IT OR NOT, BEFORE THROWING MYSELF INTO THE FRAY EARLIER I MANAGED TO SNEAK IN A SHORT NAP.) DAVE: (really) KARKAT: (YES REALLY. DON’T ASK ABOUT IT.) KARKAT: (BUT I GOT TO SEE WITH MY OWN GANDER BULBS HOW FAIRLY FUCK DEEP SHE’S BURIED HERSELF INTO THE FURTHEST RING’S SMORGASBORD OF REALITY-SHATTERING FUCKERY.) KARKAT: (SHE ACTS LIKE IT'S JUST AN EVENING STROLL THROUGH THE VOID, BUT LO AND BEHOLD! WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, SHE'LL BE BACK, HAULING IN HER FIRED IRONS LIKE WEEKLY GROCERIES.) KARKAT: (BUT HEY, IT’S NO BIG DEAL! NOTHING WE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT, NO WORRIES.) KARKAT: (BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE SOME WORRIES!)

Yup, I love this line. I’m gonna use this somehow someday. “No worries! But you know what? Maybe some worries!”

DAVE: (i guess you have a point) DAVE: (but i dont really see what we can do about it) DAVE: (unless you want to put things on hold and look for her?) KARKAT: (NO! FUCK THAT!) KARKAT: (I’M DONE. I JUST WANT THIS TO BE OVER WITH. WHATEVER SHE’S GOTTEN HERSELF INTO, SHE’LL JUST HAVE TO GET HERSELF OUT OF IT.) KARKAT: (IT’S NOT LIKE I’D EVEN BE MUCH HELP.) KARKAT: (IN FACT, THE IDEA THAT I COULD EVER CONCEIVABLY BE OF ANY USE TO HER IS SO LAUGHABLE I MIGHT JUST PISS MYSELF.) KARKAT: (I MEAN, WHERE IS THIS EVEN COMING FROM? WHY AM I WORRIED ABOUT *VRISKA*, OF ALL PEOPLE?) KARKAT: (IF SHE COULD HEAR MY THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW, NO DOUBT SHE WOULD BE GIVING ME AN UNENDING SUPPLY OF SHIT FOR EVER DOUBTING HER.) KARKAT: (HELL, SHE PROBABLY ALREADY HAS. I CAN ALREADY SMELL THE SHIT ROCKETING ITS WAY THROUGH SPACETIME, READY TO BURY ME IN SASS.) DAVE: (i dunno man) DAVE: (like sure) DAVE: (any plan to bail out vriska is about as well founded as the dark carnival) DAVE: (which is not at all) DAVE: (because its pretty much the fakest thing to never ever be real ever) KARKAT: (I’M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD TO JOKE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.) KARKAT: (YEAH, LET'S JUST PUT EVERYTHING ON HOLD FOR A SECOND SO WE CAN HAVE A GOOD CHUCKLE ABOUT HOW FAKE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS ARE.) KARKAT: (HARDY HAR HAR.) KARKAT: (WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BROODING.) DAVE: (you really are far gone) DAVE: (look) DAVE: (sure she makes it kind of impossible to care about her) DAVE: (and i wouldnt be surprised if shes perfectly fine) DAVE: (just off doing her own thing) DAVE: (but the fact that you care anyways) DAVE: (is kind of cool imo) KARKAT: (WHAT.) DAVE: (you actually give a shit about people) DAVE: (even people that probably dont deserve it) DAVE: (ngl vriska is kind of a huge bitch and you would probably be happier if you wrote her off) DAVE: (maybe thats the case for some other people too but not gonna name names)

WELL DAVE, I CARE ABOUT HER. ANd also, who is Dave talking about when he says “other people?” Nobody really comes to mind besides maaybe Gamzee.

Daw, he’s all concerned and shit. That’s kinda cute. Though it’s still odd he’s not teasing Karkat about this. I guess he knows how to show some maturity when it’s needed.

KARKAT: (DAVE...) DAVE: (ok fine) DAVE: (im just trying to say that) DAVE: (from experience) DAVE: (putting aside bitchiness or what anyone might deserve) DAVE: (having people around that actually care about you makes a big difference) DAVE: (and the idea that not caring about anything or anyone is somehow the most ideal way to be is garbage) DAVE: (so instead of beating yourself up about caring too much) DAVE: (do yourself a favor and just focus on whats bothering you)

Yup, that’s some good advice. I hate when people are too busy stressing about other people that they just let themselves fall apart. I wonder how Karkat will take it!

Skepticist Karkat is best Karkat.

KARKAT: (... OK, SURE.)

yay.

KARKAT: (... OK, SURE.) DAVE: (i get that you think vriska might fuck up and get herself killed somehow) DAVE: (but i also get the feeling theres more to it than that) KARKAT: (YEAH. THERE IS.) KARKAT: (WE HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING IF SHE DOES FUCK UP.) KARKAT: (AND, DAMMIT, TEREZI IS PROBABLY GOING TO TIE HERSELF INTO A FUCKING PRETZEL ABOUT IT TOO.) KARKAT: (WHICH I'M SURE SHE REALLY DOESN’T NEED RIGHT NOW.) KARKAT: (AND NOW *I'M* ALL TWISTED UP WONDERING IF WHATEVER VRISKA IS DOING OUT THERE CAN STILL FUCK US OVER SOMEHOW.)

Oh Karkat, I assure you. Anything anybody does is guaranteed to have the potential to fuck everything over. In this case, she’s supposed to kill a universe destroying god. I think there’s a chance she can fuck you over with that.

DAVE: (hmmm) DAVE: (well) DAVE: (i cant help you with terezi) DAVE: (shes just going to have to work on that) DAVE: (but as far as the the blue winged butterfly effect goes...) DAVE: (im the timeline guy right) KARKAT: (I GUESS??) DAVE: (you guessed correctly) DAVE: (and right now nothing feels off to me) DAVE: (theres been enough outside intervention to convince me that this is the way shit is supposed to go) DAVE: (if somebody from an alternate reality bothers to travel back and give the timeline a thorough heimlich maneuver like im assuming john and roxy did) DAVE: (which causes all the potential roadblocks to fling themselves out of our way and allow the right events to start slotting into place) DAVE: (thats generally a good sign that everything that can go wrong already has) DAVE: (so its pretty much smooth sailing from here) DAVE: (... hopefully)

Dave, you are absolutely talking out of your ass right now. Do you even have the ability to “feel” if something’s wrong? I don’t think that’s a thing.

KARKAT: (DID YOU REALLY NEED TO TACK THAT ON THE END THERE?) DAVE: (just covering my bases) KARKAT: (YOU KNOW, IF THAT WAS YOUR IDEA OF A PEP TALK, I THINK I MIGHT AS WELL FLING MYSELF OFF THIS MISERABLE VICTORY PLATTER AND PERFORM A SUPERSONIC HONKBIRD DIVE INTO SKAIA.) KARKAT: (*HOPEFULLY* I CAN DROWN IN CELESTIAL OOZE AND LAY MYSELF TO REST AGAINST THE BOSOM OF A LITERAL FUCKING UNIVERSE.) KARKAT: (THAT WOULD ALMOST DEFINITELY BE MORE COMFORTING THAN “HOPEFULLY EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE I THINK”.)

Calm down Karkat, that’s just assurance that everything is in no way fine and you’re all going to fuckING DIE UNLESS JOHN OPENS THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW.

Pft, this panel is weird looking.

DAVE: (jesus) DAVE: (alright you got me maybe im talking out of my ass) DAVE: (this whole alpha timeline thing is really something you gotta play by ear and i cant predict whats going to happen) DAVE: (but it just sucks to see you so stressed out) DAVE: (i was kind of hoping we could put all of that crap behind us) DAVE: (at least for a little while) DAVE: (those are really pretty decent things to be worrying about but the crux of the matter is theres just nothing we can actually do) DAVE: (at least not that i can figure out) DAVE: (thats more roses thing and she seems to think everythings fine) DAVE: (and even if something does happen youll probably be in better shape to deal with it if you dont get yourself so worked up) KARKAT: (... YEAH.) KARKAT: (I GUESS YOU’RE RIGHT.) KARKAT: (I THINK I TEND TO LET MYSELF HYPER FOCUS ON ONE POSSIBILITY AND STRESS OVER WHAT USUALLY AMOUNTS TO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.) KARKAT: (SO I NEED TO TRY AND NOT DO THAT MAYBE.) DAVE: (awesome) DAVE: (think about troll dane cooks unironically hilarious stand up routine or something) DAVE: (and chill out) KARKAT: (I AM. I’M CHILLING.) KARKAT: (THIS IS ME CHILLING. THIS IS MY CHILL FACE.) DAVE: (funny) DAVE: (looks a lot like that face you were making a minute ago) DAVE: (when you were decidedly not chilling)

This is a nice pesterlog right here. And cOME ON karkat, chill out man.

Oh my god karkat stop you weren’t meant to smile

KARKAT: (HOW'S THISH THEN.) DAVE: (pffffft) DAVE: (hahahahahaha) KARKAT: (heh) DAVE: (yeah sure) DAVE: (that works)

No it doesnt Dave stop its horrible.

Alright well, Dave and Karkat have sorta calmed each other down and spooked each other up. [fun fact, every time i type each other i type it as eachother and have to retype it because i forgot that isn’t a fucking word. Why isnt that a fuckING WORD]

And that’s all for this update! So I think I’ll go ahead and make the next post now.