#no matter how old you both get. you never lose that ''oh shit my little sibling is CRYING'' panic.

[hey-hey-j]

(sort of a companion piece to this)

older brother instinct

(★ my Kofi)

[l13]

spiderverse twt links part 2

WARNINGS : NSFW, 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI, f!reader, the links are literally p#rn, proceed at your own risk

CHARACTERS: miguel o'hara, peter b parker, hobie brown, the spot, spider noir, webslinger

miguel

♡ miguel playing with your pussy as he sucks on your tits- getting you ready to take his cock, like the good girl you are<3

♡ this is for that one anon that sent me a hc about miguel getting pissed af if he caught you using one of your toys- ((I SAW IT AND IT WAS AMAZING I'VE WROTE SMTH BUT IT'S BEEN ON MY DRAFTS FOR LIKE A WEEK i can't seem to like it no matter how much i edit it but have this<333)) Miguel who then proceeds to snatch the toy from your grasp, muttering how you can't even come even with that. "S good right? Better than me?" "Noo, never- never better than you- oh please baby-" "That's fucking right."

bonus

♡ miguel punishing you when you arrive home after you talking shit all day- purposefully disagreeing on anything he says- even in mission briefs. makes sure to fuck you stupid just to remind you not to pull that shit again<3 "Acting like such a fucking bitch all day- fuck. Just needed my cock that bad, huh? Say it,"

peter

♡ peter whimpering pathetically once he starts cumming- moaning when you don't stop jerking his cock, and he's thrashing around, hips never stopping their little jumps as he whines prettily "I can't anymore- h please ffuckkkk, I ca-aan't," voice cracking as he sobs for you

♡ pussydrunk!peter that starts fucking you like an absolute madman, literally not able to stop thrusting inside of you even after he's cum two times already, his eyes are hazy, can barely focus on anything but he still grabs you by the hair to pull you against him almost harshly, panting hard as he somehow keeps fucking his cock back inside your drenched pussy

♡ peter laying flush against your back, humping you, thrusting his cock inside you till he's crying with you- whimpering and moaning from the way your pretty pussy feels around his cock

hobie

♡ hobie definitely wakes you up in the middle of the night if he can't sleep- pulls your panties to the side and makes you ride him, watching with a hand behind his head as you bounce your ass on his cock- thrusting his hips up to meet the rolls of your hips as he sighs, "Fuck- think I'll be wakin' you up every God damn night, baby.." "Yeah do it- fuckin' make me cum-"

♡ hobie losing his FUCKING mind when he sees you hold your folds open for him- giving him the perfect view of his cock entering your pussy again and again-

♡ no bccc. NO BECAUSEEEEEEE. tell me why he'd do this. he'd def dry hump you till you're both moaning against each other's mouths before he'd fuck you, refusing to remove his underwear from before- saying he likes looking at them all stained with your juices as you bounce up and down his cock<3

spider noir

♡ tw!!!somno noir loving seeing you wear tights/stockings, and absolutely loses his mind when he sees you laying like that on the couch- skirt bundled up on the floor, you'd probably taken it off right before laying down, and fuck- it's so fucked up that he's doing this but he can't help himself as he takes his cock out, slapping it against your ass two-three times before he starts jerking it, slowly, "So pretty for me honey.. 'nd you don't even know it," "Fuck- sorry- I'm sorry- I can't stop, can't fuckin' stop-"

♡ noir letting you control the pace for once as he leans back, supporting his weight with his palms on the mattress as you bounce your ass on his cock vigorously- and he's grunting, muttering praises, until he gets greedy and grabs you by the hips to thrust inside you with a new-found passion, "Did so well for me, such a good girl- unh-" "I'll fuck you so well, don't you worry-" "Won't be able to fuckin' walk tomorrow, honey."

♡ feel like noir would be used to more 'old fashioned' shit so when he met you, he'd become 10x times more freaky- that includes cumming on your face 🤭 he'd be reluctant at first- "Why waste it? You're tellin' me you don't want it in your pussy, hm?" but then he actually does it one time and becomes OBSESSED, "God fucking- I'm gonna cum-" "Where d'you want it sweetie," "Yeah? Ffuck yes- gonna paint your pretty face with my cum-"

the spot

♡ we've established that spot is a certified pussy eater, even without a mouth he'd find a fucking way- he'd just push your cunt into his face hole, and lap at your pussy greedily- moaning as he did so

♡ tw!! pegging jonathon? OH MY GODDDDDDDD and he's moaning so good for you too<3

♡ spot unable to stop pushing his hips back into your hand as you finger one of his holes- the feeling bringing tears into his eyes as he cries out for you<33

♡ him nearly YELLING when he comes inside you- moaning loudly as he pumps you full of his cum<3

webslinger

♡ tw!! breeding kink "Legs up f'me darlin'.... just like that," thrusts into you relentlessly, head thrown back as he literally cannot handle how good your pussy feels around his cock, and he grunts as he pulls out, jerking his cock, his hand shaking, "Can't cum inside you huh, pretty? Can't get you pregnant- not yet-"

♡ him finally slipping and coming inside you- moaning with his eyes rolled back as he feels your cunt sucking him in- "Ah shit- m sorry darlin' I couldn't hold m'self back.."

♡ him pounding you from the back and then suddenly deciding that he wants to watch you ride him instead- (save a horse, ride a cowboy), absolutely looooves watching your face contort in pleasure, your tits bouncing as you guide yourself up and down his cock<3

[ellieslob]

★ obsessed

+tags: reader x ellie!, exes, reader is dina’s ex, jealous ellie for the wrong reasons, dom ellie, dom reader?, sub reader, kinda enemies to lovers, dina x ellie but in the wrong way, inspired in obsessed by olivia rodrigo but with a twist

+warnings: this is not a romantic ellie x dina !!!, cheater ellie, dina n ellie are a couple, smut, red flags, jealousy, ellie is a little insecure, you flirt with dina to make her mad

ways to help palestine!!!

REBLOG!

when dina’s ex came back from the city ellie went completely crazy.

the way dina looked at you when she saw you arrived? stunned, she had no words, was almost drooling, like come on, her drink literally fell out of her hand and she spit out the rest. like, yeah you were kinda attractive, like model attractive but like, you definitely didn't look like dina’s type.

dina practically ran directly to you and hugged you hard, you did nothing but correspond, holding her and responde with your stupid and perfect fucking smile. she could lift dina like that, actually she could do it better, you were kind of weak.

ok, she could be exaggerated and possessive you guys were just talking… talking while you touched her leg n looked at her with those dumb pretty eyes? ok, that was enough. “dina, who is she?”

her girlfriend was surprised with how fast ellie appeared and how tight her grip was on her hip “oh ellie, this is umm, i guess she’s my ex-

“girlfriend” you interrupted dina looking ellie directly in her eyes, giving her a cocky smile, leaning to her, almost looking down on her, up and down and then smiling again “and who are you, little one?”

“oh just her actual girlfriend” she tried to make it sound like a joke, but she put dina behind her, while getting closer to you, she could win in a fight, easy, you didn’t seem much athletic, your body was toned but not exactly muscular, shit, was that what dina actually liked? model type boddies? she was fucked, to be so fucking honest, sure, she could win if you two got in a messy fight but come on.

ellie knew sometimes she could look like a fucking mess, not that she cared a lot, like, it was shitty times, she tought everybody looked the same but damn, you were… you were straight up beautiful. she didn’t want to be side by side with you anymore, what if dina started comparing.

you were taller than her, your face was prettier and fucking shiny, you looked way more femenine, your hair was long and seemed like you had a routine for it and shit, god your body looked like the ones that appeard on those old magazines that she found with joel, but only fucking better and right in front of her.

dina kept talking to you but ellie wasn’t looking at her, and she could see that you weren’t really paying attention to her either. you were both looking at each other, defensive, dominant, neither of you wanting to even blink, scared you might lose the battle and appear weak in front of the oher, appear submissive.

you smiled again, and stroked dina’s leg a little, looking directly at ellie, giving her that innocent and provocative gaze, while caressing her girlfriend’s tight, you motherfucker, innocent her ass. she couldn’t wait to fuck you up and beat the shit out you.

“ellie?” but they were no longer at the bar, she was no longer in front of her girlfriend's sexy, pretty and perfect ex, she was in her bed, with dina.

“s-sorry i was thinking” she tried to refocus her total interest in dina, looking directly at her, her girlfriend, that was the only thing that mattered. she didn’t need to be thinking about some girl.

but maybe just a little bit more…

“so… about y-your ex” ellie sat on the bed, taking the strains of hair out of her face, trying to act cool, like she didn’t care, didn’t want to look too obsessed ‘bout the topic, but god she couldn’t plug you stupid grin out of her head.

“mm what about her?” so dina didn’t seem to care a lot, that was good, maybe.

“i don’t know, i- just, you know, you never talked about her”

“ellie i-i really don’t wanna talk about her, i got excited because she was my friend too, and i hadn’t seen her in a while, can we just go to sleep?”

bullshit.

“yeah, yeah, of course” dina finally got into bed, ellie hugged her when she got close to her, making dina the little spoon, did you hold her like this? fuck, she really couldn’t get you out of her head, ellie tried to change the position, uncomfortable with the image of you with her gilfriend in the same bed, she grabbed dina’s hips to help her move better, accidentally stimulating dina.

the little moan made ellie concentrate in the present, but it didn’t really last long, in minutes she was pounding into her gilfriend, grabbing her hair and pulling it, watching how her cunt clench around her hand, completely fucking wet, her loud moans told her she was liking it, were you this good in bed? were you better? worse?

“ellie! yes! just like that” did dina ever think about you when they were like this? did you fuck her like that? or..

did dina fucked you like this?

“ellie!” your voice replaced dina’s, with her eyes closed a glimpse of your body and facial expressions splashed in ellie’s mind, how would you look taking her fingers, crying like a bitch while your ego falls and breaks?

“god! ellie yesyes f-fuck!” dina was a fuckin’ mess, crying, her hips and whole body moving like crazy, would you react like this? if she fucked you like this, would you drool and scream her name over and over? that little cocky attitude, will it disappear? bet she’ll make it disappear.

pulling your hair while she fucked you with her strap, making you scream her name, so that everybody could her you two, so that they knew who was making you squirm and beg.

her movements got rougher, she wanted to fuck you dumb, to make you a fucking submissive wet and horny pile of mumbles and moans, repeating only her name while your pretty face gets all wet by the tears, the swear, the drool…

fuck, she could come just by that image in her head.

the screams under her got her back to reality, what the hell was she doing? she needed it to stop, that was so incredibly wrong, shit, that was so fuckep up, swiftly she tried to stop but dina didn’t let her, she was close, ellie was thinking about her ex, and she wasn’t going to stop her climax on top of that? the girl wasn’t a goddamn monster.

when dina came, she fell hard in the bed, exhausted, sweating and her face was so red, she had cried, cum, drool, everything. “w-what the fuck was that ellie?”

“i-im so sorry dina i-

“i came so hard, god, that was so… it was fucking good, i knew you were jealous but god i didn’t knew that it would make you this hot” ellie, was silent, still judging if she should speak about it or let it go “you know i never felt like this with her”

hours ago, that comment would’ve helped ellie a lot, would’ve solved all of her problems, but right now? she kept imagining you being in that same bed, taking dina’s place, and the worst part was that she knew.

she is stubborn.

possessive.

controlling.

you weren’t just a slipped thought on her head, this was just begging and she couldn’t help but to get completely lost in you.

when dina’s ex came back from the city ellie went completely crazy.

REBLOG!

[waterkittywriting]

Arguing with Mori

Warnings: Mori in general, hitting, he's a lil possessive yk, age gap (reader is 18/19, Mori is 40), he's a bitch, not proofread, kinda unhealthy relationship

Characters: Mori Ougai

A/N: this is the only thing I can bring myself to write bc I've been obsessed with Mori recently. Sue me. This is heavily inspired by a scene in Lolita 1997 because that movie is fucking relatable and it's all I can think about recently.

"Alright, that's it."

The car screeched noisily as Mori pulled over, thankful for the relatively empty roads making it an easy task. You two had been fighting over something stupid - but you made it just a little too serious with that last comment.

"You want to disrespect me in my own car? Then get out. You can walk home yourself. I don't care." He hissed.

It was pouring out, and there was even some thunder. It was about 3 miles till you got home, not too long in the car but to walk? It would be terrible. "Are you fucking kidding me?" You scoff, staring at him with disbelief in your eyes. "It's 9pm, pouring rain, and you're gonna make a teenage girl walk home alone? Are you trying to get me killed you dickhead?!"

"I'm not making you do anything. All I want is a simple apology and we can drive home normally, and pretend this didn't happen." He leans back in the driver's seat, taking his hands off the steering wheel.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" You screamed. "Like actually, what is wrong with you?! You say you love me then all you wanna do is fuck! And when we have a normal argument, like a normal couple, you lose your shit and do things like this!" You were going to continue, but you were cut off by the most menacing look you'd ever seen him direct at you. You'd seen that face before, of course, directed at nosy subordinates or people who were doing him wrong, but never at you. Never at you.

You stop talking and move to unbuckle your seatbelt, ready to leave the car, but Mori stops you by wrapping a single hand around both your wrists, pulling them towards him before you could even unbuckle. "I thought you wanted me to leave." You snarled.

"Quite the contrary, dear. I would love for you to stay, but if you're going to keep acting like a little brat I might just shove you out of the car myself." He says smoothly, his voice dripping with condescension.

"Oh, so now you're holding me captive? You're a kidnapper and a creep? I mean seriously, what forty year old man dates-" you're cut off by a harsh slap on your cheek and a stinging sensation as he lets go of your wrists and sighs heavily, resting his elbow on the center console and his forehead in the palm of his hand. "God, you make it so difficult to love you sometimes."

You can't help it. Your lip starts to quiver and you start wailing as you turn around and shove the car door open, pushing yourself out of the car and onto the sidewalk. You begin to run away, you're not sure where you're going but you need to get away. Away from him. You're followed by the sounds of him calling your name and the door of his car opening and closing.

You don't look behind you but you know he's running after you, you can hear his footsteps and the heavy breathing until he finally catches up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him from behind. By now you're both absolutely soaked in rain water, your clothes sticking to your skin and against his as he holds you there.

You turn around so you can sob into his chest, choking and coughing out apologies into his wet jacket. Eventually he leads you back to the car, opening your door for you and buckling your seatbelt.

Once you're both buckled and in the car you're silent. Neither of you can bring yourselves to say anything. You know he's not going to apologize for hitting you no matter how guilty he may or may not feel. He never apologizes, he just brings you designer purses and beautiful makeup the next day and it's enough to get you to forgive him. It always is.

[writersrkive]

Protector | Lo'ak Sully

summary: you heard how Jake referred to his sons after the reef accident and you couldn't take it anymore, you were tired and decided to defend your confidant, not caring about getting in trouble with Mr. Sully, the na'vi who raised you.

gender: angst, comfort

pairing: Loa'k Sully x gn!omaticaya!reader (can be read as platonic or romantic, but use of "best friend" once)

warnings: Jake being a mean dad (sorry Jake, luv u), heartbreak and insecure Lo'ak because of his daddy issues, father and son argument, reader talking back/defending Lo'ak, “you brought shame to this family" scene, use of “y/n” four times.

a/n: so... people argue about if Jake is a good or a bad father. All I know is that I like Jake, but I would fight him to defend Lo'ak (I know l would lose, but stil). l like the idea after l read "Life of a traitor" (on AO3, by SelfObsessedCaramel) and a one-shot that I read here a long time ago but I can't find the user to give credits, basically reader defends Lo’ak too and Jake and Neytiri are a little mad and surprised, but happy because reader was a good mate for their son, I think reader was a human (tag them if you know who the author is, please). English is not my first language, be kind, please <3.

Masterlist

When Jake and Neytiri decided that you, an orphan, could go to the Metkayina clan with them (because you were raised by the Omatikaya clan and the Sullys), Tuk was the one who smiled the most, Kiri was relieved because she didn't have to deal with other people's shit alone, Neteyamn was glad because you, their childhood friend, made things easier by thinking with a intelligent brain and not with a skxawng brain like his brother.

But Lo'ak, oh, Lo'ak. The boy was so glad, relieved and excited, all of this because you are the only na'vi that listens to him, actually listens. All the time his family is too much for him he can go with you and with a single look at his expression you can know something is wrong. Yes, he loves his family, but sometimes he feels like a burden and a weird thing incapable of belonging. With you he doesn't feel like that because you know him.

That's the reason why, when Jake said that horrible thing "You brought shame to this family", you almost heard your best friend's heart breaking. A small silence between Jake, Neytiri, Neteyam and you was enough to remember one of all the times when he came to you trying to feel better after an argument with his dad.

When you were kids he would find it difficult to be vulnerable in front of you or expose that he needed some type of physical contact to feel better, since he felt that he had to be a great little warrior in front of you so that you wouldn't make fun of him. But the first time he fell off a tree (when Spider, Lo'ak and you were trying to grab some fruits) you quickly managed to hug him and put his head on your neck, stroking his hair to calm him down while Spider went to look for Jake. Since then Lo'ak was sure you would always be there for him, no matter how vulnerable he can be.

One day, at 12 years old, you were searching for materials to make new matching beads for Lo'ak and you. The sound of the river didn't let you hear your friend approaching. He scared you when you turned around and saw him a few steps behind you.

"Skxawng, you scared me." You laughed. When he didn't make fun of you, you notice the way he was looking down, trying to hide a few tears.

"What's wrong?" You asked, worried.

"My... my dad." He cringed at his own broken voice. "Ugh, never mind. It's ridiculous, always the same bullshit.

"No, no. Lo'ak, whatever you are feeling is valid. Come here, you wanna talk about it?”

Both of you sit next to the river, with a basket full of materials behind you. You embraced him and he let himself cry on your shoulder. "I was just trying to help. Neteyam was bringing this huge animal for the meal, I tried to help him, but I slipped. l couldn't grab anything to stop my fall because of the huge animal and I ended up stepping on my brother's bow," You grabbed his hand and squeezed it trying to comfort him. "Neteyam wasn't even mad, he knew it was an accident, but my dad told me that l had to be more careful, that it was my fault if Neteyam couldn't hunt in a few days because he had to make a new bow. He can hunt with his knife! But it's always my fault in my father's eyes, as if I don't know that l always mess up things.” He sighted. "He said.. yelled that if l wasn't able to help, I had better not get in the way.”

That broke your heart. Lo’ak was a bit of a rebel and curious soul, and sometimes he could get in trouble because of that (because he wanted to show people that he was good enough in many aspects), but he never had bad intentions.

Maybe to other people he didn't care when he was scolded and apparently just got mad and defensive, but you knew he was sensitive too.

"Okay. Maybe your dad is stress right now. You know that recently the clan have had problems hunting enough for the meals." Lo'ak nodded. "However, that's not an excuse for treating you like that."

When he calmed down, he lay down looking at you with red puffy eyes. You tried your best to make him laugh by splashing a little bit of water to his face.

"Don't worry, we are gonna go hunt together and help Neteyam to make a new bow."

"Deal."

"Can I go now?" Your best friend asked.

“Any more trouble, I jerk a knot in your tail. You read me?” Jake asked while you cringed at the fact that he still thought his sons were little soldiers.

“Yes, sir. Lima Charlie.” Lo'ak was giving him an ‘I don't give a fuck’ attitude, just like every time he just wanted to stay away from his father.

“Go on.” Jake said after giving him another scolding look.

You followed Lo’ak, watching his tail swing angrily. You bit your tongue trying to control the disgust you were feeling towards the na'vi that always gave you a sweet pat on your head every time you felt down. Because it was unfair the way Mr. Sully treated Kiri, Tuk, and you with patience the days you guys were just not able to handle life, but he didn't let his sons explain when something didn't end up as expected.

All of the Sullys were so worried when Ao'nung told them that Lo'ak was nowhere to be found outside of the reef, but you almost had a panic attack in front of Neteyam because you would not be able to handle losing another friend. The burning pain of not knowing where or how Spider was was enough for your heart. So, of course, you weren't happy when you noticed the antipathy of Mr. and Mrs. Sully.

Your sweet touch helped Lo'ak to maintain himself calm, but your own calmness disappeared when you listened:

“Where were you?” it was Neytiri's voice.

«Oh, great mother, she did not just say that to Neteyam.»

“Yeah. What happened to ‘keep an eye on your brother’?”

“Sorry, sir.” the oldest Sully brother answered.

“No. Where were you?.” Your voice resonated between a heavy silence. Jake and Neytiri looked at you confused, Lo'ak turned around, thinking what he heard was a hallucination, and Neteyam was shocked.

“Excuse me?” Jake said, unhappy by your sudden disrespect.

“You are the parents, not Neteyam.” You repeat, starting to feel a little angry. “An older child is not supposed to be a third parent. You are the responsible ones for the security of your children.”

“You think I don't know that, y/n?”

“Well, sometimes it is not how it looks.”

“Y/n, I know I'm not your father, but you need to respect me. Especially when I-"

“Respect is something that is earned. And yes, I'm thankful for all the things you guys have done for me, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna pretend you are not being mean with your son.”

“Y/n, is not the right time...” Neteyam tried to talk to you.

“It is. All these years, I've been respectful about your parent technique, but I will not stand it anymore.” You got close to Jake. “You are understanding with Kiri, Tuk, and me while you are mean to Neteyam and Lo'ak, using the excuse that you are trying to protect them. But you don't act like a father. You act like a soldier who can not forget.”

“You don't know what you are talking about.”

“Maybe I don't know all the things you went through on Earth, and I'm not judging you because I know you were hurt too. But because you were hurt doesn't give you the right to hurt others! Especially when they are your family.” Lo'ak watched the way your tail swung side to side in an anxious move. “You don't think words can hurt? Because day after day I see one of the most important na’vi for me, thinking they are not good enough for anyone because of you, and thinking that they are not worth being loved.”

That made Neytiri flinch and look at her son with a hurt expression.

“Listen…” Jaks said after giving a quick peek to Lo'ak, who was now standing next to you.

“No! You listen, because you never do!” You weren't yelling, but your voice was loud enough to make Jake realise he had never seen you like that. “You don't know where Lo'ak was or how he ended up there. You can't tell me you believed what he said about Ao'nung trying to stop him.” Neteyam didn't know where all of the sudden confrontation came from, but deep down, he was a little bit happy that someone was telling his dad about the things he didn't see. “And still you don't let him explain what happened. You never listen when Neteyam tries to tell you things fail, not because he wasn't being responsible, but because he's still a kid, not an adult.”

Neytiri wasn't happy about your attitude, but seeing Lo'ak shocked made her realise that maybe all the things you were saying were somehow things Lo'ak (and Neteyam) wanted to say.

“We know you try to protect us, and you want us to be strong, but you forget that we are still kids. They need you as a dad, not a soldier. They need your love and comprehension. And yes, you need to scold them sometimes, but not make them feel unhappy with themselves.”

“That's not my intention” was all Jake could say.

“That's what you are doing.”

You sighted, tired of all the emotions you went through in just one day. You grabbed Lo'ak's hand and walked away, while Jake, Neytiri, and Neteyam admired the way their son and brother looked at you with pure love.

Lo'ak and you were sitting on a big rock, admiring the beautiful ocean and purple sky. Both of you haven't said anything since you arrived there, wanting to be left alone and in peace after the confrontation.

“You know you are incredible, right?” Lo'ak was the first one to break the silence.

“Yeah? Well, now your parents hate me.”

“I'm sure it will pass, Neteyam will help you.”

“And what about you? You're gonna leave me to die in your parent's hands?” I smiled a little bit.

“No, no. I will never do that.” He said, looking at you, almost directly to your soul. You didn't expect to feel nervous under his gaze, but his eyes were telling you a lot of things that he couldn't process into words. “Thank you.”

“You don't have to thank me, Lo’ak…”

“Y/n, thank you.” His fingers found your hand, so they started to caress your hand gently. “I admire you so much. Sometimes I don't know if I wanna be Neteyam or you.”

“You have to be your own person.” I grabbed his hand. “Because Lo'ak is just as perfect and enough. And I know that because I see you.” I said with a soft tone.

A shy but playful smile appeared on his face. He looked cute when he didn't dare to make eye contact with you for a few seconds.

“I see you.” He answered after looking at you again.

[ominoose]

𝐎𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Characters: Steven Grant, Cecil, Basil Stitt Summary: Oscar Characters dating a gn! reader that dabbles in witchcraft (written secularly) Warnings: None

☽ 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭

+ When Steven first finds out you dabble in witchcraft, he's intensely curious. His attitude is essentially "Wot's all this then?". At first, he relates it back to everything he knows on Egyptology, comparing any practices you do to that, "Oh! That's similar to what the Ancient Egyptian's did!" or "Hm, that's not how it would've went down back in Ancient Egypt...".

+ He ends up doing a ton of research, half of which isn't even applicable to you, but he likes knowing the ins and out of things, it's his love language. He wants to show genuine interest and care both because its his way of showing he places important on your lifestyle, and because he's genuinely curious.

+ Tries to be as respectful as possible. He knows from Marc being Jewish the amount of importance certain identities or practices can have to people, so with you he's doing anything he can to take it seriously, whether its not touching things or giving you silence to work. That said, he can be a bit teasing sometimes, especially when you give him things, "Hope you didn't put a little hex in my tea." or "What're you going to do, turn me into a frog?!".

+ If he finds out you've left a little sigil note in his work bag to ward off negativity (Donna) or you invite him to join you in making a nice, charged soup, he's ecstatic. Rambling and smiling like a sap, honoured you've involved him.

☽ 𝐂𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐥

+ "Are you... The Blair Witch?" No matter how many times you may tell him you're not the stereotypical, evil, hexing old witch that only brews evil potions in a cauldron, he doesn't fully believe you. Anytime you go outside and someone is rude to you, by cutting you off in traffic or saying a mean word, he's side eyeing you warily, mentally picturing you cackling as you put their hair into a bubbling green vial.

+ The above isn't to say he's scared of you, he's not. Cecil's quite laid back about the whole thing, it's just another facet of you to take in his stride. You're leaving water in jars outside to make moon water? Sure, cool. You need him to pick up certain herbs when he's getting shopping? No problem, (unless its anything other than rosemary and thyme, then he has no idea what the herb is). You want to weave him an intention bracelet? "Aw, babe, that's so romantic."

+ Doesn't understand how it works and perhaps never will. When he's watching sports and his favourite team loses, he'll be sighing and turning to you to ask if you can do something, "Can't you like, manifest them to be less shit? Use your moon water, the moons ball shaped, thats, like, symbolism, right?". No matter how much you try to explain the inner workings of your craft, he will not understand. In his mind, his partner does this weird stuff but it's cool and he will never get on the wrong side of them because he will end up going missing in the woods.

☽ 𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐭

+ Basil is absolutely stoked to have a witch as a partner. He thinks it is the coolest thing ever and romanticises the whole thing a fair bit. All of what he knows about witchcraft comes from pop culture, his mind is full of cliches. When you're forced to tell him that you cannot summon lightening or banish thunder clouds, he's quite disappointed, but quickly bounced back, "It's fine, whatever! You can still hex monkeys, right?"

+ He will watch you in awe if you do anything, asking questions about what something does, why you're doing it, why you're using that, what does that thing mean. Eventually he'll learn and get used to your practices, and it becomes part of his routine with you, he looks forward to seeing you do any rituals.

+ When he's more used to your witchcraft and it does become routine, he might even ask to join some of it, "Can we make a spell jar together? Or will it blow up on me?". When he accepts his scar and mantel of 'Lightningface', completely letting go of his ego and outside perceptions of him, he's ready to delve in and explore new things which your witchcraft helps him do. It's another thing to help ground him, its not exactly common and if he'd spoke about any of it in his past peer groups he'd be ostracized, but now he finds strength in that.

[jolieblack]

Jolie’s thoughts on

Shoscombe Old Place (Sherlock & Co. podcast)

Good call shifting the environment away from the way too similar horse racing scenario of Silver Blaze.

Thank you also, Joel, for letting our boys go on a holiday. It’s not what I imagined when I said I wanted Consequences after Dancing Men, but it works! And I find it telling that Sherlock especially seems to have offered no resistance to the plan. Seriously, S & J camping by the river (and Sherlock going fishing, because of course he would!) for real and not just as a blind (like in ACD’s story) filled me with happiness and serenity.

I was not prepared at all to learn so much about John's childhood and family circumstances. "Made and then broken in the Army and subsequently fixed at 221B Baker Street", yes, that is the John Watson that we know and love in any universe. 😭

I'm so glad he still has a refuge in his old town now, and I love that Sherlock gets invited totally as a matter of course. I so heard him on the "weird feeling when a place you used to call home doesn’t feel like home anymore", too.

I'm also left wondering a LOT whether John’s canonical unhappy alcoholic brother (also Henry/Harry, like the father?) from Sign of Four exists in this universe. If yes, there should be traces of him in the old family home for Sherlock to deduce… Unless of course he’s a half brother or something who never lived there (from John's dad's earlier marriage or relationship, possibly?). Or maybe the traces are there and Sherlock just never said a thing, and only will later…

I also wasn't expecting John to run into his famous so-far-nameless ex! I found myself hoping that they wouldn’t go down the tropey route of the Crazy Evil Ex. When John called Carrie "evil" when they were trapped in the crypt, that really didn’t seem accurate. But John was being so realistically cranky about everything to do with Carrie, I really felt for him.

Sherlock was being such a sweetie throughout, especially at the start. Doing small talk with the neighbour, NOT pointing out that John rambles exactly as bad as his mum sometimes, not wanting him to have to call his ex in person, repeating over and over that they’re in a beautiful place with good beer and he’s really enjoying himself… Calling John invaluable… Feeling a little bad about recklessly leading them both into danger in Dancing Men, perhaps (not that John didn’t follow willingly and without question)? Or just being happy that he and John are still alive and still around and evidently didn’t fall out over the Dancing Men business, either?

"I'm a big boy. I can do it." - "Would you like me to call her?" - "Yes, please." - "What’s wrong?" - "Poor signal in this village." - "I’m blocked, aren’t I." My heart 🥹 How I love a protective Sherlock.

And our boys getting philosophical in ancient sacred buildings at night is almost a tradition by now. I love it when they do that. The River Thames analogy was so intriguing, too. Who would have thought that Sherlock could be such a poet?

"A sea? A lake? A waterfall?" [10 seconds later] "Shoutout to Professor James Moriarty, who is listening intently to every word." AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! 😱😱😱 That was the creepiest moment ever and John was so right to lose his shit.

How close are we to Reichenbach? We might be there by August. Or Joel might be pulling all our legs.

Whatever it may be, don’t deny yourself the pleasure of looking at this absolutely beautiful art by @paperleef !

Oh and then of course there was a case as well, but it hardly seemed to matter for most of the story. No surprises there for the connoisseurs of ACD’s original stories, either.

I’m glad that they did not go down the Crazy Evil Ex route with Carrie after all. I was a little narratively underwhelmed by how John’s dynamic with Carrie and its potential for conflict just fizzled out. But thumbs up for realism there. They’ve both moved on and that’s it. Like so often in RL. And didn’t we all love the fact that John now considers Baker Street his home, Sherlock & Mariana his family and the Sh & Co project his future.

I also didn’t expect Part 3 to turn into an anti-classism manifesto, but it does make sense, especially seeing how the matter bugs John all the time, too. Check out this great meta by @comicgeekery on the matter!

I would also like to contest Mr Emory’s ideas about the founding date of the Adidas shoe brand, but that’s just a tiny detail.

Sherlock: "John Hamish Watson!" - John: "Don’t Hamish me!" 😂 - Wasn’t aware that’s a verb, but apparently it is!

The car chase scene/river rescue scene was so good I literally forgot this was just audio. Also, Sherlock and John diving in a lake together to get Robert out was just… so touching. And so cool. (I think I’m mostly in love with how Sherlock switched immediately from "Watson, get out of there" to "OK, I’m going right in there with you".) And did you all notice we got another "John"? It’s still being saved for special moments. 🥰

Dear Joe, nobody who dies on duty on a peacekeeping mission gets a cheap place in heaven in my opinion. But then, if Harry Watson was anywhere as modest and laid-back as his son is, and something tells me that he must have been, he probably took a cheap place on purpose, not to be a pain, and when an angel came up and wanted to guide him closer to the hero places, he was just, "nah, mate, I'm good here".

Also, Sherlock packing their things before the case was even wrapped up, to make sure John would find it easier to go back home to London, rather than lingering and questioning his life choices, was so sweet again.

"You’re stressed, any you’re lashing out at those you love (!). You’re losing your mind. You spoke to a river!" - "And you put a dog in a bag!" - Possibly one of my favourite ever closing scenes of this show. (Treat yourselves to this lovely observation by @itsnobodysproblem , please!)

[princelylove]

Your Highness,

I hope you’re well! This has been festering in my mind for a week so may I ask what you think of both Bruno and Prosciutto having an interest in the same darling? I know this might be a very deadly combination but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to take.

-peachy anon

Oh, sweetheart. You have no idea. I don’t think you’d last more than a week or so with these two. 

They don’t get along in general- Prosciutto has little to no empathy, and has left men behind countless times. Bruno’s very loving. He’s slow to make decisions because he needs to figure out the best option for everyone- Prosciutto makes judgements quickly and based on gut feelings.  

Prosciutto has a lot of internalized sexism, but they differ from Bruno’s because, you know, Prosciutto is not a kind man. I think Bruno’s sexism is more “This is what a man must do for people” and Prosciutto’s is more gender-conforming. If you gender swapped them, Bruno would still want to be the provider of the house, while Prosciutto would expect you to give her your wallet for every little thing she wants (which is a lot, she’s happiest as a spoiled girl- sorry, miss pro, I mean as a spoiled lady). 

Listen. Would you rather spend your free time with Bruno’s family, doing an outdoor activity of some sort, or sit next to Prosciutto and watch him lose ‘family’ game night for the sixth week in a row? (He’s not a good gambler.)

Prosciutto acts like he already owns you, he’ll drape his arm around your shoulders and have the audacity to ask what you think you’re doing when you try to pull away. Bruno’s not much better, but he’d like to think you have a choice in the matter. Sure, he guides your hands when you’re actually the expert, but he means very well. As long as you stay close by, within arms reach. You actually can walk away from Prosciutto, but not Bruno. Go ahead, go get a drink or go to the bathroom, you’ll be back. While Bruno would search for you after five minutes of not knowing where you are, Prosciutto waits in the same spot, tapping his fingers until you come back with a good reason.

Prosciutto may take care of the others, but he loves you. He’s fond of Pesci and Ghiaccio, sure, used to be fond of Sorbet & Gelato too, but he loves you. He’d choose you over them and probably would force you to live in his old apartment over Risotto’s if he had the proper choice- not like he chooses to stay in that god forsaken apartment with five other men. If there’s an issue, he’d drop them for you in a heartbeat.

Bruno views you as part of his family, and will make no such choice. If his family doesn’t like you, or vice versa, give it time. He’ll find some way to settle it. He won’t stand for either of his sons bullying you, but you’re going to get along eventually and behave. 

But Bruno and Prosciutto don’t need to like each other. In fact, they never will. Prosciutto’s too rough with you, it’s like he doesn’t know what marriage is for! Bruno’s too much of a hardass to enjoy a little fun. They fight the most about how Prosciutto hits his darling, and how Bruno treats you too delicately. 

Gender swapped Bruno and Prosciutto are soooo funny at the same time. Pro’s pretty catty. They have similar fashion sense- mature, feminine, allergic to pants, lots of cleavage, love luxury heels… Have fun with a wallet if you date fem pro. Bruno loves tights, Prosciutto hates them. Bruno would never ask you to buy her anything, she’s still the provider, but Prosciutto? She’ll hit you for asking her to pay for dinner. 

Fem Bruno would baby trap you. Prosciutto? Fuck you, you’re not ruining her figure for some family bullshit. Take care of those little shits in her apartment if you want a baby so badly. 

What a bad combination. Their lifestyles look similar, but they’re just nowhere close.

[themiimagebehindfire]

”The War Is Done, The Stars Are Gone, The Breath Is Fighting” -Disventure Camp All Stars ALT Ending One Shot

”An angsty rewrite of the ending of Disventure Camp All Stars. What if Riya suffers far more consequences than just loneliness when she slits her opponent’s throat over greed?”

TW: Blood & Injury, Angst, Mention of an attempted suicide

———

“Riya?”

Riya scoffs mid gulp as she lowers the water bottle from her mouth. Connor is face to face with her, a stern look that she was not in the mood for.

“What do you want?” She asks coldly.

“Look, you must have realized by now,” He expresses. “No one is routing for you.”

Riya tenses up at the bold statement. No one? No one is routing for her? That was ridiculous! Course, she was aware of the idea that some people would route for some whiny little twink over her, but the idea that no one would route for her was ludicrous!

She’s played the game. She’s played this game better than anyone else. That’s why she’s even here as a finalist. She couldn’t throw it all away when some dude no one cares about was currently beating her!

Of course Connor wouldn’t care. Of course Connor wouldn’t encourage her. Of course Connor would side with that boy over her. His own love. It’s not her fault he never understood her whole act; her whole game. It’s not her fault he took the act far too personally.

With her blood boiling and racing with these thoughts, Riya snaps, “It’s not your concern!”

“I know there’s still a part of you that knows I’m right!” Connor begs. “Leave with what dignity you have left!”

Oh not this bullshit again! He’s right. How does he not get it yet?! No one is routing for you. I have all my dignity in tact right here right now! No one loves you anymore. I’m going to win this thing if it’s the last thing I’ll do! You’re all alone. Once I win that million dollars, everyone will see how much my game really mattered! Then they’ll all come back to me and beg for forgiveness! You’re a villain.

“You think I give a shit what any of you think?!” Riya angrily spews out in the race of her thoughts. “I’m a star! In ten years, none of you will be remembered! You’re just worried I’ll hurt Jake!”

The moment that gets out of her mouth, she has to tsk at her own breath. Hurt Jake. Hurt that boy. Would she do that?

“Well, you just watch! Your leg will look like a scrap after what I do to him!” The threat is out and there’s no regret. She stomps away from the old man and climbs back up to the podium.

Holding her rewarded steel shield and blade, she locks a fierce glance at the lanky blue head on the other side. One would think if Riya Sharma was going to lose, it’d be against a tough and worthy opponent. The idea alone that it’s this guy pisses her off more and more with every time he one ups her.

What I’ll do to him will make Connor’s sprained ankle look tame. I swear it.

”One more point, and Jake is our All Stars Champion!” Krystal announces.

With that, both of them charge, with Riya slashing her sword at Jake’s wooden shield. He thrusts it at her to push her away, a confident grin on his face.

A grin. At beating her.

Riya, with a snarl, charges and stabs her sword into his wood shield, thrusting her arm with enough force to yank the shield out of his hands. With her spare arm holding her metal shield, she slams it into the boys chest as hard as her anger lets her.

The wind is knocked out of Jake from the hit, forcing him to bend over in pain.

Riya, with no remorse, takes the chance to kick him off the edge of the platform. That’ll take that smile right off his face.

”Riya has scored a point on Jake!” Krystal announces. “It’s 2-2! Next point wins!”

Jake is on the ground, both arms gripping his chest, which is still burning from the pain of the blow. He tries to take deep breaths to help ease the pain, but it’s not helping very much.

He tries to take one arm away from his chest to grip the edge of the platform and stand up again, which proves to be a bit of a challenge, as the pain flares up more standing up.

“Jake! You alright?!” Ashley’s voice snaps some sort of distraction for him. The cowgirl, along with Ally and Tom, come running down to check on him.

“How is that fair?!” Ally protests. “She might’ve broken his ribs with that hit!”

Jake, trying to keep his confidence up, tries to smile and assure, “I’m fine, I’m fine-“

A grunt cuts him off as pain makes him hunch over.

No. Whatever confidence he had is gone. That hit. It wasn’t the hit that’s making him hesitant. There was anger in that hit. There was spite. A terrifying amount of spite.

Something’s creeping up in the back of his throat. Anxiety. A sense of dread that this woman might be out for blood.

“I-I’m sorry…” Jake winces. “I-I-I don’t know if I can do this-“

A gentle slap meets his left cheek.

Ally was sure to be gentle with it since he’s already hurt, but it still stings his face. “Do you hear yourself right now?! You’ve already come this far! We both have! We promised Connor we’d take Riya down!”

It’s a rare moment for Jake to see Ally this determined and encouraging, at least in his favor. It’s still making him shake. “But why me?? I can’t do anything right, and you expect me to beat her? I-“

Tom’s next to step in and wrap his arms around him. It’s tight. It would be even more of a rush of shock and affection if his ribs didn’t hurt.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that. I can’t stand it.” Tom’s voice is shaky, almost as if he’s holding back tears. “You are so much more worth it than you think, Jake. I’m sorry I treated you like you’re not for so long… but where’s that fire I grew to stand from you? Where’s that drive? Where’s that sweet smile and good heart we’ve all grown to see? That’s the boy that’s standing here as a finalist right now.”

Tom parts from Jake so all of that can be said with Tom looking him in the eye. He means it. He means all of it. From that alone, something in Jake’s heart is touched.

“We’re routing for you.” Ashley says with an encouraging wink. “We want to route for you.”

Aiden, James, Miriam, Connor, Lake, and a couple of others join in and gather around Jake. All of them with smiles of encouragement.

“You can do this, Jake.” James says proudly. “We believe in you.”

Soon enough, the audience starts joining in, cheering loudly for Jake. “Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake!”

That’s all it needs to get Jake to forget the pain. People are routing for him. They genuinely want to see him succeed. People, all these people, care about him.

To think he thought for the longest time nobody would ever want him.

Jake rubs his eye with his hand to prevent a tear, moved by the waves of encouragement. “You guys… thank you.”

The cheers are still happening. Everyone was routing for Jake…

…and no one was routing for Riya.

Riya stands there on the podium the entire time, hearing the cheers of the audience ringing in her ears.

The name being cheered that wasn’t hers.

The crybaby look on that boys face, all because he couldn’t take a little pain.

The sight of Connor being with the crowd standing with Jake.

No one is routing for you.

Riya’s eye twitches at the sight. Her blood was boiling before, but it’s even hotter now. Her hand holding the blade is shaking.

Oh, how much I want to take this blade and stab it right in his face! How much I want to slash this at every filthy traitor in this coliseum!

Riya snickers at the thoughts in her head, the shaking and the quiet laughter taking over her mind.

“Are you done having your little friendship speeches?!” Riya angrily shouts.

Jake turns to Riya, a look of pity being gifted to her. The other contestants are surrounding him and giving her nasty glares, and yet he gives her pity. It’s a sick joke.

“I know you’re just coping, Riya.” He says. “Being all alone must stink… it’s how I’ve felt for a long time.”

“Oh my GOD you’re so PATHETIC!” Riya, with an enraged eye roll, snaps at him.

Get up here and fight me like a finalist!!

Jake gets back up the podium, shield and sword ready.

Riya grits her teeth, her eyes having her target locked.

So he’s asking for it.

She charges at him wildly, aggressively slashing the sword at his shield.

She doesn’t stop. She keeps attacking him as aggressively as he can. She doesn’t give him a moment to breathe.

She’s vicious with all her slashes. All her attacks. All her insanity. It’s all vicious.

He manages to slip from one of her strikes, making his own slash at her back. She blocks it with her shield, and he keeps trying to push her back more and more.

She looks behind her, almost at the edge.

No. I’m not done here. I’m not losing to him. I’m not giving up everything like this!

”It’s over! You lose!” Jake claims.

I lose? I lose…?

No one is routing for you No one is routing for you No one is routing for you No one is routing for you No one is routing for you

HURT. HIM.

“RRRRRRRRUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!”

With all her might, Riya uses her strength to bash her sword at Jake to get him off her, and with the sword, she throws out a slash with everything she’s got.

One kick to the back later, and he disappears from her sight.

Off the podium.

Out of her way.

The moment it hits her, she drops both weapons, letting out a breath of relief.

Everyone falls silent. All eyes are widened in horror.

”Did-did I…?” She can barely process it.

He’s down. He’s off the podium. She did it.

She beat him. She won.

…

Why is no one cheering?

…

… … …

“JAKE!!”

That’s not a cheer.

That’s a scream.

“O-oh my god!!” “Jake! O-oh no!!” “Oh heavens no!!” “Breathe! You gotta breathe okay?!?!”

What are they talking about? He’s just fallen.

Riya steps toward the edge to see it better. He’s just crying that he lost. He’s fine…

He’s…

Oh…

Oh shit…

There are people surrounding him but she can still see.

He’s on the ground, hands clenching his throat, which is swelling an ugly red and purple. The only sounds coming out of him are gasps. Tears are falling from his eyes as he desperately tries to breathe.

There’s no air reaching his lungs. He can’t breathe.

Quicker and quicker, his vision blurs as his cries grow. All voices and thoughts in his mind are deaf to only one thought in his mind.

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe-

“CALL AN AMBULANCE!!!!” Tom screams, tears falling from his eyes as well. He’s trying to hold Jake upright. “Jake, come on! Stay strong, stay with us, Jake! You’re gonna be okay!!”

The tears from his eyes become streams as he silently cries at the sounds of his love gasping and crying for air. “No no no no, not like this, please no…”

“Jake…?” Ally can’t speak. She weakly reaches out, but she’s held back by Hunter and Tess with their arms around her.

“Oh lord, please no… please oh lord don’t do this to this child!” Miriam begins to pray as tears fall from her eyes as well. “Please don’t take him away too!”

Connor, as horrified and dreadful for Jake as he is, can’t help but look up at Riya.

She’s still standing on the podium. Hands shaking in absolute shock.

Her eyes attempt to look down and away from the scene, only to look at her own sword that she won.

With a hint of red on the tip.

She hurt him.

“…I…I…” She can’t even speak at the realization of what she’s done.

Yes. She wanted to hurt him. She’s hurt a lot of people…

It shouldn’t be that surprising, really. She’s had no trouble putting people in situations with less than a guarantee at survival. But they’ve all survived. There was never a point where these actions have led to a person actually being close to death.

What if she killed him?

“Riya…” Connor doesn’t sound like he’s begging to her or anything. It’s a hollow tone.

“I…” Her head is spinning. I could’ve killed him.

But I wanted to. No you didn’t. But he deserved it. No he didn’t. But he wanted it. No he didn’t. It was an accident. No it wasn’t. I didn’t kill him. You don’t know that. It was worth it. I got what I wanted. Right?

Did you?

“So…” She tries to shake it all off, asking the question, “So does that mean I win?”

Some people are too concerned for Jake to care. Others glance at Riya in disgust. Even Aiden spits out, “What. The. Fuck?”

”YOU VILLAIN!!!” Someone in the audience shouts, pointing at Riya. “YOU COULD’VE KILLED HIM!!!”

And then it spirals to more people shouting it from there. “YOU MONSTER” “YOU MURDERER” “YOU VILLAIN”

There is not a single person in that crowd that’s even remotely with Riya. They all are saying their thoughts to her face.

Monster. Murderer. Villain. Monster. Murderer. Villain. Monster. Murderer. Villain. Monster. Murderer. Villain. Monster. Murderer. Villain. Monster. Murderer. Villain.

All Riya can do is fall to her knees and clench her head. She ducks under to try and cancel out the noise of distain.

Another noise soon joins in. The sound of an ambulance blaring.

“Over here!” Oliver is with the doctors, leading them to Jake.

Some of the crowd parts so the doctors can reach Jake. Tom has the blue head laid on the ground, in the middle of doing chest compressions. The cop, tear streaked, is desperate and not letting himself be convinced his love is gone.

The doctors put down a stretcher, ordering them to set Jake on it. They oblige in doing so. Once he’s on and secured, the doctors pick him up to take him away.

Miriam is the one who joins them, begging to be on the ambulance with her ‘grandson’. They disappear from the colosseum. The boys fate is undecided.

The others shock only lasts for a few seconds before Tom breaks it by running.

“Tom! Where’re you going?!” Ashley asks, calling out before he can be out of range.

“I’m following them to the hospital!” Tom cries. “I cant leave him before he leaves me!”

Hearing that, Ashley joins in. “I’m coming with you! Where’s the nearest ride?”

“We’re going too!” Aiden says, on behalf of himself, James, and Lake.

“We gotta go too.” Ally says to Hunter and Tess.

Soon, everyone joins in. Every single contestant in the game joins in and begins to leave the colosseum to find a ride.

There are only two who stay behind. Riya and Connor.

Riya looks down at Connor, who isn’t looking her in the eye anymore. “You…” she tries to speak. “You think I did that on purpose?!”

All Connor gives is a brief, hollow, “Yeah.”

Riya cries, insanely, “Well who gives a shit if he lives or dies?! I still won!! I. WON. THIS. GAME!!!”

Connor crosses his arms. His expression is still stern, but a single tear falls from his face. He says softly, “So that’s what led to this… the show… the money… we were all after that money…”

With that, Connor begins to walk out to join the others.

Riya tries to get up as well, but Nina blocks her path, red devil eyes gleaming at her. Marquis grips her shoulder, demanding “You stay where you are. The police will be here shortly.”

“Police?” The word buzzes in Riya’s head. Police. Is she…

Nina keeps the demon glance at her, saying cheekily, “See you in hell, lady.”

Riya’s stuck there. That’s it. She’s really going to prison.

She won the game, but she loses how much in the process?

All for that money…

Was it worth it?

As Connor is almost out of the coliseum, Krystal catches up to him, pleading, “Hey hey hey! Where’re you all going! You can’t leave! We’re still on air!”

“Yes we can.” Connor says without stopping.

“I know Jake being in the hospital is less than convenient, but for all of you to walk away like that before we’re done airing the season finale is-“

“Saying a lot.” Connor finishes her sentence.

“S-should I contact any of you in a bit?” Krystal asks. “Once you’re cooled off and we get news?”

That gets Connor to stop and turn around, making one thing clear. “I can speak for everyone who walked out. We quit. Don’t contact any of us to be on this show again. We don’t need it.”

With that, he leaves.

———

*TWO DAYS LATER*

Prison is frustrating.

At least, that’s what Riya’s come to accept in her head. The stench, the closed space, the cold air, and the constant shouting of the inmates. Since she's arrived, she hasn't said a word.

Everyone who walks by her cell only sees her seated on the bed, hugging her knees and tugging the orange fabric of her uniform.

To say she's experiencing a state of mental shock is an understatement. She keeps flashing back to the entire show, and everything she's done violently.

Leaving Aiden to die on that cliff.

Breaking Connor's ankle.

Getting Gabby bit by that tiger.

And that's just the severe cases.

Maybe a part of her believes she deserved to be here before the incident she got arrested for even happened.

Nobody's come to visit her so far. Not any of her 'friends' that she made on the show. Not any fans. Not any family members. No one.

Now, all Riya wants is for someone, anyone, to come see her and coddle her. Tell her she's going to be okay. Tell her about the good thing's she's done. Give her a hug.

That's when she hears the cell door slide open.

"Sharma?"

Riya looks up to see a guard there. He tells her, "Your escort will be here shortly."

"Escort?" Riya stands up, confused.

"Your family paid for bail. You'll be on house arrest for the next three years. Blake is taking you home."

"Connor?" Her eyes widen in surprise at that.

That's what makes her willingly go with them to leave.

Sure enough, at the front office, the man is standing there, arms crossed and eyes widened at the sight of her.

It's one stare, then he looks away. Riya continues to stare at him with feelings rushing through her. "H-hi Connor..."

No answer.

"I..." She wells up, finding it hard to contain herself. "W-why? Why did you bail me?"

"I didn't pay for bail. Your family did." Connor says. "I'm just your ride."

"But why you?" She asks.

"I..." He lets out a long, sad sigh. "I guess I'm not cruel enough to let you rot in a cell. Or maybe that's not what you deserve in my opinion."

What does he mean by 'not what you deserve'?

Riya lets out a tearful smile, approaching him with open arms. "Thank you... I-I'm so sorry Connor..."

He grabs her before she can hug him, pushing her away.

"C-Connor...?"

"You think a sorry is going to cut what you did?" Connor's expression isn't sympathetic at all.

"Maybe not," Riya admits, still pleading. "But there's no cameras now. I don't need to pretend. I can put it all in the past."

"That's what you think your action was? An act?" Connor counters sternly. He nods no, in disbelief. "I can't even with you..."

He turns his back on her and walks away. He tells the guard, "I'll be waiting for her in the lot."

———

A couple of hours later, Riya is in the passengers seat of Connor's car, both of them in an uncomfortable silence.

It's been hours, and neither of them have said a word. There's an aura that's been there the entire time. A dark aura. An aura of emptiness.

Soon enough, Riya couldn't take it anymore, and she broke the silence. "So... the game... did I lose?"

She had to have been disqualified, right? After what happened...

"It's worse than that." Connor says. She deserves to be informed, at the very least. "You won."

"I... won?!" She won? She won the game? She's the winner of Disventure Camp All Stars?! She did it?! She can't help but smile. "S-so it was worth it?!"

"You got the money." Connor informs, still refusing to look at her. "Your family picked it up from Krystal and put it in your account... although, you're not gonna access it till your house arrest is done. But you do have it. Hope it was worth it."

Hope it was worth it. That stings.

Why does her smile drop? She won three million dollars. She won what she came for. She earned this.

Why is she not happy?

She tries to get a read on Connor's face. It's obvious he's not showing any warmth for her, but there's some sort of reflection in his eye. Water?

Riya crosses her arms and slumps in her seat. She rolls her eyes, trying to shake it off. "Whatever. To be arrested for a messily sword strike. They act like I did that on purpose..."

"Maybe you did. Maybe you didn't. You still attempted murder." Connor says.

"Murder...?" The word hits her.

She hit Jake in the throat. He was gagging.

Is he...?

"That twink..." She has to know. "When's his funeral?"

Connor doesn't answer.

She turns to face him again. The man's breath hitches at that.

"I killed him." She's convinced. "He's dead, isn't he?"

No answer.

"Connor? Is he dead?"

Finally, Connor answers. "I don't know."

What? "What do you mean you don't know?!"

"They got him to the hospital." Connor's voice raises a bit, but he remains stern and calm. "They had to do a major surgery. But he stopped breathing moments before they got there... side of his neck was slit and a windpipe was damaged with metal blade tip in it. You're lucky his throat wasn't slit in the center, otherwise he would be a goner... Now we're just waiting for news. We don't know if he's dead or not."

So it doesn't matter. Whether Jake dies or not, Riya is still charged for the attempt alone. That's what matters to her.

That still doesn't ease Riya. Sure, she hated the boy and wouldn't care if he lived or died if it wasn't her that was responsible for it. Still... she did a lot of damage to him, all for money.

"At least it's over..." Riya says, in a bit of desperation. "I can bounce back from this. Bit of cancelling isn't gonna end my career... an accident isn't gonna hurt us, right?"

Connor parks the car. They've arrived at her house. Sternly, he orders, "Get out."

"Connor-"

"Riya, get out."

She has no choice but to obey, climbing out of the car.

She's back home. Back in her fancy, empty, home.

She can only stare at it for a second in distain before she hears the engine start again.

She grips the windowsill, begging, "Connor, wait! Don't leave!! Please, I can salvage this! I promise!"

Connor rolls down the window to talk to her. He makes it clear, "What's the point? You can beg all you want, it doesn't change anything. Now I know the real you. Out of everyone, you were the only one who refused to change. Was it worth it?"

"Maybe... no... I don't know..." Riya spits out. She doesn't know that answer. She tries to fake er confidence, arguing with him. "You just care about that boy more than me... you care more about all those losers more than me. If I was the one with the slit throat, you'd shut him out just like me! You wouldn't be so mad at me if I was the one near death..."

Connor sighs. He looks away from her, refusing to look her in the eye again. "I'm not mad, just disappointed."

He adjusts the joystick to drive away, indicating to her that he's leaving. "Have a nice life, Riya."

He drives out of the parking lot, leaving Riya behind. She watches the entire time until the car disappears from her sight.

He's gone.

———

Meanwhile, the hospital's waiting room is filled with dread.

All the ex-contestants were there when Jake was in for an emergency surgery. A lot of them stayed the entire night, waiting for news, no answers if Jake was dead or not.

Eventually, some of the lesser acquainted with Jake, as upset as they were, felt that they had no choice but to leave, since none of them were getting answers. Then hours after, some of the others had to leave as well. It wasn't because they were giving up on hope, but because it wasn't healthy for any of them to stay in the waiting room for a time limit they couldn't see.

They kept coming back and visiting. They would leave for food and rest, and then come back to continue waiting. Especially the close friends, such as Ashley, Ally, and Aiden. Hunter and James would sometimes be with them.

Tom was the only one who didn't leave once. He refused to. He couldn't bring himself to.

After he ghosted Jake for two years, he comes back, and it's moments before this incident. Jake could be dead. He could've lost his chance forever. A chance to make things right, to apologize.

He can't ever forgive himself for that. He can't leave.

Currently, he's pacing around the waiting room, bags under his eyes. He's restless and desperate.

Miriam is there as well, seated and quiet. She's spent the good while of the surgery praying. She's only quiet now out of concern for Tom.

She tries to speak up again. "Tom, I'll tell you if we get anything, but you need to rest."

Tom doesn't stop pacing. "I-I-I can't do that to him... not again, I can't do that to him..."

"Anything?" Ally comes in, visiting again. Tess is with her with some bottles of water.

"No." Miriam's voice is shaky. "I'm getting worried... my prayers might not have been answered... they didn't get answered when... when..."

The elder starts to cry. Tess comes over to hug Miriam tight, letting her cry on her shoulder.

The sounds of Miriam's sobs hit Ally and Tom, getting Tom to stop pacing. Ally sits down, with a look of dread of her own.

"Ashley's taking care of the others at the motel. I got her number in case we hear anything." Ally says to Tom.

Tom asks, "You're not still nauseous, are you?"

"I am," Ally answers sadly. "But I'm not throwing up anymore if that's what you meant... I... I didn't like Jake, but I left him to die to that bear, and... seeing him actually close to death now, it's... I-I should be in jail too... I know what I did didn't lead to anything as serious as this, but I just feel... so awful... I'm an awful person..."

"You're not." Tess assures her, still hugging Miriam. "You are not the reason he's here. What matters is that you're trying to make it up to him."

"I can't now..." Tom is going back to feeling another wave of guilt. "You may have, but I can't... I should be the one with the slit throat! If I had won that damn tiebreaker, maybe I could've taken his place... if I hadn't been so scared, none of this would've happened..."

Miriam gets up and wraps her arms around Tom as tight as she can. She's sobbing on his chest, but he doesn't care. Tom hugs her back, letting the woman's embrace sooth them both.

Tess sits next to Ally, putting a hand on her friend's back. She tells her, "Ally, you can't blame yourself. You weren't the one who slit his throat. She's gone now. She can't hurt us."

"Thank notch for that..." Ally can't help but admit as she wipes her eye.

Her phone buzzes. She picks it up to look at the notification.

"Oh, look at that, another death threat, that's not cool..." Ally groans. "God, I get hating Jake, but to say he deserved this... I might want to puke again..."

She swipes her phone for a bit, talking to herself, "And 'block', there we go..."

"Okay," She brushes it off and puts the phone away. "Well, the important people are the ones that care. The charity is also going nicely."

"Tch, and to think we had to compete for money," Tess says with a smirk.

"Charity?" Tom asks. He doesn't know.

"My idea," Ally says. "We started a charity at the motel for interviews, so everyone can get a taste of our true selves and our takes from the show. The donations are for Jake's medical bills, Ashley's farm, and for whatever else, the rest of us split. It's not three million, but we're all pitching in to make our motives for that prize happen anyway."

"Oh bless." Miriam touches her heart.

Then the door opens again, revealing people that shocks all of them.

Ellie and Gabby are here, with Gabby holding a container of sandwiches. Her arm is still casted from the tiger bite injury she received from the finale.

"Heyo! We thought we'd stop by for a visit." Gabby says with an optimistic smile. She's always like that, so no one can blame her or accuse her as a mood killer.

"Hey..." Ellie is more shy about the visit. "Gabby wanted to drop these off for anyone still here. Should help with the wait."

Tom rolls his eyes. Sure, he's been here for dozens of hours with nothing, but the last thing he has is an appetite. That feels like a personal attack.

"You okay, Gabby?" Tess asks. "The arm, I mean."

"Oh I'm fine, the cast will be off in a week." Gabby answers. She points happily to Ellie, claiming, "But Ellie here wanted to come over and I couldn't say no to that."

That surprises everyone. Miriam gives a stern, "You?"

"Yeah. And?" Ellie tries to be her usual cold self.

Tom gives an angry laugh, gleaming at her. "Funny, I thought you hated Jake."

"I do." Ellie answers. "This doesn't change that."

"So why are you here?" Tom asks, a frustrated tone in his voice. "You had no problems giving the three of us death threats on live TV. And interviews."

Ellie's cold expression warms up at the mention of that. She says softly, "That's why I felt responsible. Especially after what Ally told all of us at the motel... about Jake..."

"Oh." Miriam realizes what she's referring to. "Oh my..."

"I know I had something to do with it. I was the one who told him to die in the first place." Ellie says, hurt by her own words. "All because I wanted money... and now hearing what he tried before and now that he might actually... I hate myself so much now... I can't stand the guy, but to tell him to his face that he should die just because some of us can't stand him?"

"Is this an apology?" Tom asks. "I personally don't care if you feel bad. You did too much damage."

"I'm not asking you to forgive me. That's not what I want." Ellie makes that clear. Gabby puts an arm around her girlfriend in comfort. "...but I just wanted you to know that I took down those interviews from the web."

"What?" Ally's surprised by that. They all are.

"Isn't that part of your wage?" Tess asks in concern.

Ellie brushes it off. "There are some things more important."

Gabby, with a smile, hugs Ellie tight on her side. Ellie smiles at her and kisses her on the cheek.

Their smiles fade once they notice Tom seated, hands burying his face. He's shaking beyond control.

"What if he doesn't make it?" He asks. He's crying. "He could be gone... what if he's gone...? Please, no... please... I'll never leave his side without reason again, just please... don't let him die..."

As much as the others are concerned for Tom's health of staying here for so long, they can't stop him. Sure, Tom's made multiple mistakes that have hurt both of them... but at the end of it, he's just as messy, if not more so. Those two messes love each other.

That's when the door opens, revealing a doctor.

All of them look at them, desperate for an answer.

Is this an answer...?

"Jacob Hamilton?"

Holy shit...

"Yeah?" Tom asks, prompting for an answer.

The doctor goes silent.

All of their hearts sink. The world slows down.

Even Ellie puts a hand over her mouth in horror.

The doctor starts talking again. "...in the surgery, there was a metal shard injected into a windpipe, damaging it and preventing oxygen to reach his lungs. After we removed that, we had to make cautions because one lung was on the verge of collapsing. The stitch will leave a permanent scar on his neck."

"...so... is he...?" Miriam silently cries.

"He's gone, isn't he?" Ellie asks lowly.

The doctor hesitates.

"...he's awake."

All their hearts lift. The world moves again.

Tom's eyes burst in tears. He falls to his knees and cries.

"Oh lord, thank you!" Miriam cries in relief. "Thank you so much!"

"Yes!!" Gabby cheers, shaking Ellie, albeit not intentionally. "He lives to see another day!"

"I gotta call Ashley!" Ally gets up and turns the other direction, dialing the number. "He's alive! He's gonna be okay!"

Tom gets up, begging, "Can I see him, please?! Please!!"

The doctor nods, motioning him to follow them.

Jake is sitting up in the hospital bed, looking out the window at the clouds parting for the sun. He has a brace for his neck, helping his posture stay upright so he can breathe without much issue.

“Jake?”

His silent thoughts are interrupted by a familiar voice at the door. He slowly turns around, surprised to see a tired, weak, tear filled Tom standing there.

“T-Tom…?” His voice sounds like croaks at the moment.

“Oh Jake!!” Without much hesitation, Tom comes up to Jake, wrapping his arms around him in a tight embrace.

Jake stays there in shock of the embrace. Tom’s here. He’s here for him.

With his own tears forming, Jake hugs Tom back, relishing in the moment.

Tom parts, showing his tears. “I-I was so worried you wouldn’t make it! I thought I lost you! I…”

”H-hey… I’m…” Jake tries to croak out his answer, but finds it hard. So instead he flexes an arm. I wouldn’t die that easily.

“Don’t worry about her.” Tom assures Jake. “The cops got that son of a bitch. She’s not gonna hurt you again.”

She’s…

Riya.

It wasn’t intentional, but it triggered some flashes in Jake’s mind.

Those vicious, bloodthirsty eyes. The strike of the blade on his throat. The tears and suffocation and feeling of his lungs collapsing.

He doesn’t even realize he’s hyperventilating, gripping his neck again.

“Jake. Jake.” Tom grips Jake to try and calm him down. “Deep breaths. You’re okay…”

Their heads touch, the contact calming down Jake just enough so he can listen to Tom, who is struck with a wave of guilt. “I’m sorry I wasn’t always there for you, but I’m here now. A-and the truth is… I like you. A lot.” He holds Jake’s hand and gives a smile. “There. I said it.”

Tom knows he has to explain himself further. “Whenever you called, I just stared at the phone, I was haunted by my past, and I was so scared of making another mistake. But you reminded me I’m so much more than my setbacks. Jake, I…I…I care about you so much. And if there’s any chance you still feel the same way, I-“

He’s silenced by Jake’s lips pressing against his.

Both of them quickly melt into the kiss, holding onto each other.

Two years. And it’s finally happened.

Finally.

They part the kiss, but Tom still keeps his hands on Jakes head. The injured boy keeps his dreamy smile on Tom.

“I-is that a yes?”

“M…maybe…”

Both hold each other for a few more seconds until the door opens again, revealing a crowd of people.

The other campers. They all showed up. They’re all coming in and crowding around Jake, smiling and crying at the sight of him alive. The only ones not here are Riya, for obvious reasons, and Connor, who was somewhere else and running late.

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” “Knew you could pull it off!” “I’m so sorry about this!” “Not bad, kid.”

The words are overwhelming, but encouraging.

Everyone’s here for me. Everyone cares about me. There’s people that love me.

People want me here.

It’s all so much, seeing his whole found family here at once. Miriam, Aiden, James, Ally, Tom, and all of them…

But all of it makes Jake tear up.

Everyone stops their questioning once Jake starts crying. Ashley puts a hand on him, asking, “What’s wrong?”

“I… I… don’t get it… I-I don’t deserve any of this…” Jake’s hard to understand, but at least he can talk somewhat. “I f-failed you… I was… so awful… to most of you and… everyone was routing for me… a-and I f-failed… I-I’m a screw up…”

“Hey. Look at me.” Ashley demands. He obeys. “You are not a failure. You did something Riya didn’t have the guts to do. You worked to be better. You stayed true to the good parts of yourself.”

“Yeah! We’re so proud of you!” Ally reassures.

“Yes we are.” Miriam adds.

People want me here.

I have a family.

I am loved.

Jake’s tears become happy as he hugs Tom’s side tightly. “I’m so lucky to have you guys…”

After a few minutes of calming down, some of them left the room to give space. Aiden, James, Ally, Ashley, Miriam, and Tom stay behind to keep Jake company.

They all finish their pose for a picture for James’ Instagram page. He posts it with the heading ‘Hamilton Lives! Lots of love from the Disventure Camp contestants.’

“So… the brace…” Aiden brings up. “How long do you need that?”

“I c-can take it off…” Jake says lowly, stuttering a bit. He sounds uncomfortable at the idea. “I… just… need it f-for… posture…”

“Hey,” Tom puts a hand on his shoulder. “You should know it changes nothing.”

Hesitantly, Jake adjusts his position to take off the brace so the others can see.

Most of them stay silent at the sight of a massive noticeable slash scar on the side of the boys neck.

Tom especially is touched. He caresses two fingers on one of his own neck scars.

“I… it’s permanent…” Jake tells them. He tries to brush it off, but clearly he’s affected by it.

“You look good, Jake.” Tom assures him with a smile. He caresses the scar to show comfort.

Jake’s smile is still small. “You don’t have to keep lying to me…”

As a response, Tom locks lips with him.

Once they part from the kiss, Tom says with a gleeful smile, “I’m not.”

Jake gives a soft giggle, hugging Tom tightly.

At least now we match.

———

*ONE WEEK LATER*

It’s late at night when the campers are on the plane ride, waiting for each and every stop home.

Ally, Tess, and Hunter are happily playing video games on switches together.

Ashley is chilling with a phone call from Will.

Alec is reading a book with Fiore asleep on his shoulder.

Gabby and Ellie are cuddling together.

Yul is alone squirming to salvage something and no one cares.

In the back, Jake and Tom are seated together in each others arms. Aiden and James are doing the same next to them. Miriam and Lake are in front of them. The six are exchanging numbers.

“So what’s the plan for you all?” Tom asks.

“Lake James and I are going on a trip.” Aiden says, holding James’ cheek.

“I’m showing James and Aiden a taste of Germany!” Lake excitingly says. Then she asks, “What about you guys?”

“We’re going to spend some much overdue time together.” Jake answers, snuggling up against Tom. His voice still sounds like a frog, but at least he’s healthy enough to be out of the hospital.

“Miriam, you know you’re always welcome to come with us.” Tom offers.

“Ha! That’s a good one!” Miriam expresses. “No. You owe Jake the alone time. Just make sure to visit.”

“Guys, you got the app, right?” Ally comes over to them. She’s been telling everyone this. “We got so many people paying for interviews from us.”

“That’s great!” Lake expresses. “Any requests?”

“Just be honest.” Ally says with a smile. “They deserve to know all our stories.”

“And the money from this?” James asks.

“We’re all sharing it. That’s why I linked the app.” Ally answers. “It also helps so we’ll all be in touch after this. We’ll see each other again, right?”

“So long as Riya’s not invited.” Jake croaks. “Yeah.”

Krystal, Oliver, Marquis, and Nina are separated from the rest of the plane, watching as the other contestants exchange friendly gestures.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Marquis says to it.

“At least with his survival, the lawsuits won’t be so bad…” Krystal nervously chuckles. “We’ll have to find a new cast though.”

“What’s going to happen to this show?” Oliver asks. “What’s going to happen to the next season?”

“Well, Oliver, how do you feel about quitting?” Krystal asks.

“Quit at life or this job?” Nina asks back. “I have strong opinions on one.”

“Maybe it’s time all four of us take what these contestants decided into account too.” Krystal expresses. “We can’t be in this show forever, anyway.”

”I can’t believe what I’m hearing right now!” Oliver whines. “How can you say that after all our hard work?!”

“I guess I’m in a new chapter of my life.” Is all Krystal can say. “Being with Derek taught me I never got to have any fun.”

”You know, the producers will cancel the show if you leave.” Marquis calmly warns.

” I love this show though! Who’s gonna take care of it?” Oliver asks.

”Oh, I have a certain duo in mind…”

———

*ONE YEAR LATER*

Since then, the stories kept updating of everyone’s stories.

Lake, Aiden, James, Rosa Maria, and her child on their vacation in Germany.

Ashley at the bar with Will, Lill, and Nick.

Gabby being there to celebrate Ellie and Tess’s college graduation.

Yul doing his podcast for a soda trying to stay afloat.

Hunter and Ally celebrating a million followers for Ally’s gaming channel.

Tom and Jake on a date at a Chinese restaurant.

Miriam and Jake teaching Tom how to bake and laughing.

Grett showing off at the gym.

Alec helping his daughter Fiore with homework.

Connor’s wedding day with a kind sweet woman that isn’t Riya.

That last one causes teardrops to fall on the phone. No matter how many times Riya’s scrolled through their stories, she can’t get over it.

They all are living their lives happily…

And yet here she is. Unable to leave her room. Alone. Yet again. Surrounded by her awards from a career that has failed her.

Was it all worth it?

[dead8bit]

━ Collared .

Quackity x Reader - Chapter 1 : The Cartel

word count : 2.7k

a/n : this is gonna be an extensive series that will have a lot (i mean a lot) of chapters, cant promise ill actually finish it to the end but ill try. updates will be slow i think ? i get distracted and burnt out very easily BUT IM TRYING MY BEST!!!!! also if u prefer reading on ao3, u can read this from my ao3 account :] pls enjoy ! <3

small update: i removed the dialogue indents cus they would keep removing themselves and it was actually pissing me off...

A large shadow peered over you, larger than it was just the day before. The sound of shoes running up to where you were got closer until they stopped by you, accompanied by laughs.

“Holy fuck!” Tommy wheezed out loud. “The penis is back!”

“Yeah… Holy fuck?” You laughed.

Eret’s large stone tower stood high above the land, which was now lined with dark obsidian. Just the day before, right where the tower stood was a small little hut with a sign reading: ‘Size doesn’t matter’ that Fundy built as a prank (also revenge for building an insanely large tower the day before).

Tommy continued laughing, “Fundy is going to lose his shit when he sees this!”

“Have the others seen this?!” You asked.

As if they heard the both of you-

“OH MY GOD!”

You heard Tubbo yell out from behind. You spun around and saw Tubbo and Jack with their mouths hung open. They both ran up to you and Tommy, forming a horizontal line, just staring at Eret’s tower.

“Okay no- This is so stupid,” Tommy said, “Please, I need to discuss important business.”

Tommy walked off and made his way to his now destroyed Power Tower, climbing up to the top, you and the others following. You all looked out at the little shack built into the side of a hill with a small sign hung above that read: ‘TommyInnit Enterprise.’”   

“So… Here's the thing,” Tommy sighed. “What really hit me earlier- I’ve got a big war on my hands, right?”

You all looked at each other and nodded silently.

You never actually experienced the war between Tommy and Dream, you’d only come across the Dream SMP a few months after. You and Tommy instantly became friends despite the warnings from all the residents. Tommy told you about the war and the Disc Saga and how it all went down, in his own interpretation obviously.

 “Yeah... I think you three are gonna join me since, let’s be honest, there’s three, you know, the three T’s and... Y/N!” You playfully scoff at the last remark.

Tommy continues, “We’re really trying to solidify our dynamic! I would imagine you’re gonna join me, I know you fuckin’ will Tubbo and Y/N-

 “HEY!” Tubbo exclaimed while turning to you with a look on his face.

“...But I imagine you will also be Jack.”

Jack nods.

“Now listen to me.

“You all know I gave away the discs for the good of L’Manberg. All right, but I want to get them back and I was thinking right... What are Dream’s weaknesses?

“In every single war, Dream has destroyed the shit out of our bases, look at this!”

He flung his arms out to showcase the dirtied and scuffed terrain around his ‘Enterprise’, also referencing the destruction of Tubbo’s old house and the land surrounding L’Manberg.

He starts pointing all around the tower, “We’re standing on a half burnt down, destroyed Power Tower!”

We all looked around at each other and started cheering him on, “Right... Yeah, YEAH!”

“But what hit me was the one thing Dream does is he either wants, or he respects other people’s items...

“The only thing he’s done is steal my discs because he puts value in them! He doesn’t destroy them at all! He got rid of my entire base, but he left the chests! He left the chests!”

He turns to Jack, “And the one time he wanted to burn the chests, he offered you a thousand dollars!”

“That’s true...” Jack agreed.

“So, what hit me was that Dream respects items but not the land or any buildings. If I’m going up against him, I know this sounds stupid, but I’m gonna need a safe room with a bunch of chests and valuables, like a full 360 room! If I lose items, he won't break in because he respects items.”

Tommy looks at the three of you with bright eyes, “Okay follow me.”

The four of you climbed down the tower and made your way over to Tommy’s base. You continue to follow him while Tommy grabs a nearby pickaxe and goes through his back door to the other room with small chairs and his jukebox. He begins to hack at the corner of the wall signalling where he wants the secret room to go. Both Jack and Tubbo grab their pickaxes and start helping out with the walls.

You lean against the other wall, “Why in your private quarters?”

“Y’know cause it’s private so it lessens the chance of Dream coming in here,” Tommy huffed.

You stifled a laugh, “Oh yeah, cause Dream respects signs.”

“Fuck off.”

The three dig out a room and start placing empty barrels and storage blocks lining the walls, floor, and ceiling. You decide to walk around and look for Fundy while the men (boys) banter in the back room.

“Look at that! Oh Christ- What are you doing?!”

“What do you mean ‘what am I doing?’?”

“I’m trying to build this and you’re mining it!”

 “Isn’t this what you wanted?!”

“Tubbo, get out of here... Clearly you don’t deserve to be here.”

“Hey!”

Just outside the arch of Tommy’s little shack, you’re met with Fundy face to face with Eret’s new and improved tower. You could imagine the look on his face just from the way his ears perked up under his uniform and his tail swishing irritably.

You quietly chuckled to yourself as you walked up to Fundy, “So, Fundy, what’s your thoughts on the new building in town?”

“What the fuck... It’s too big!”

“I thought you said size doesn’t matter!?”

“I've changed my mind,” he hisses in response.

The trio caught up with the two of you and once again you all stood around looking at the tower.

Fundy rubbed his head, “Goddamn obsidian... No way.”

His ears perked up after he sifted through his thoughts for a second.

A large grin stretched across his face, “Did you know that pee is stored in the balls, Tommy.”

A roar of gasps emitted from everyone's mouths, followed by a string of confused chuckles.

“Wait, you're just going to put a pair of balls on it?” You questioned.

“I plan on flooding the entire thing.”

“Where are the balls?” Jack spoke up.

Fundy turned to Jack, “Last time you said it was the bottom layer?”

“Well, I- I didn’t actually say that but- Yeah, fair enough.”

Tommy started walking around the base of the great tower, looking up at the very top, “I think you should at least destroy the top bit because this is a monster.”

He continued, “Listen, I mean this in the most sincere and serious way possible... Eret’s great penis is a monster.”

You and Tubbo covered your mouths and laughed together.

“Alright so tell me what your idea was, other than shaving the top off?” Fundy asked Tommy.

“Shave? Why would you describe it as shaving, man?!”

“I’m pretty sure there’s a medical procedure for this,” Tubbo chimed in.

Tommy’s eyebrows perked up, “What’s it called for a building?”

“No, for a penis.”

You wiped your eyes from laughing at the absolute ridiculousness of the current conversation, “Oh my god- Oh my god...”

The boys kept scheming amongst themselves, but you decided to check on the secret room in Tommy's enterprise. You walk in and see a piece of paper sticking out of one of his chests. It didn’t look like a map, and it had a lot of writing on it. Your hand reaches for the top of the chest, and you push it up, opening it and seeing a letter with messy black ink scribbled over the page. You picked it up and your eyes scanned over the message.

Hey Tommy!

Listen here, you’re missing out on the big money! The big bucks! You know what I’m saying. There’s a lot of things you can do… Not drugs, I’m clean! I’m serious!

Anyway, you know… everyone has access to all of the resources around you, right? But what if YOU were the only one who had access to those resources? You would have so much power, power beyond belief. And that’s what you need Tommy! POWER!

Here’s the plan…

You need an infrastructure, so you build a minecart highway, make everyone use it and then eventually they’ll get used to it and use it as common transportation. Then before they know it… You pop up in the middle of the fucking highway with a diamond sword and you fucking hijack their shit and take EVERYTHING they fucking have! They won’t see that shit coming! I’m telling you that’s the way it’s gotta be!

And look! I even made blueprints for you. You can’t show anyone though… they’re kind of a secret where I come from…

Big Q :]

Who and what the hell? You peered back into the chest to see a folded-up piece of paper which you grabbed and opened. You stared at the page in disbelief as you saw a shitty and childish drawing of a singular road which was, what you could assume, the blueprint that ‘Big Q’ had sent over.

“Are you stealing my shit?”

You turn around to see Tommy, “Who is ‘Big Q’?”

Tommy takes the letter from your hand and awkwardly laughs, “You didn’t read this, did you?”

“I did.”

“Jesus… He’s a guy I know and he’s suggesting we start a cartel,” he says as he pinches his forehead.

“And his name is ‘Big Q’?” You put up your hands to make quotation marks in the air.

“Quackity is his name.”

You furrowed your brows and turned your body to fully face him, “His parents named him that? That’s his legal name?”

“It’s confidential…” Tommy sighed.

“…Right.”

Tommy throws the letter and ‘blueprint’ back into his chest and makes his way down the ladder, to the sewers.

You called out to him, “Why?”

To which he responded with a yell of determination, “POWER!”

Fucking hell.

The day goes on and on. Tommy spends half the day replacing the stone floors in the sewers with packed ice to slide boats across them to create an infrastructure that supposedly people are going to rely on (they won’t). He ends up using Tubbo as his test ‘mugging’ and you eventually find them in an Area 51 with Jack after an extensive period of chasing each other through the sewers.

Eventually the four of you make your way back into the sewers and Tommy begins to explain how you need to plan a heist, along with a lab.

The three of them dug out another room in the walls and you all migrated inside. Tommy proceeds to put up a sign on the side of the entrance and writes ‘Boss man’s hideout’ on it.

“‘Boss man’s hideout’? This is so stupid…” You laugh.

Tommy crosses his arms and scoffs in your face, “How dare you! Big Q is our boss!”

“Right… And where is he right now?”

He presses his lips into a line, “…Busy.”

“You’re so full of shit-”

“OKAY Y/N! OKAY GUYS!” Tommy cut you off. “Here’s what we’re going to do…

“In the coming days, not today, we’re going to do a heist… Because there’s an item that we can get for ourselves and no one else can get. Big Q said we can get a monopoly on every single item. I say we start small, we gotta start small.

“I say… we meet up in a day’s time and we can do the heist! Not today cause… I gotta go man, I-I’ve places to be and women to- I don’t have women to talk to…

“ALL RIGHT! We’ll meet up tomorrow and that’s what we’ll do. But until then… no mentions of boss man’s hideout, all right? No mentions to nobody. You hear me? Don’t even tell any of the others were allied with."

He finishes off his announcement, “The first rule of the cartel is that there is no cartel…

All four of you stood in the cramped hideout, arms crossed, serious eyes, dressed in the L’Manberg uniform. Tommy, the blond boy who bounces off the walls all the time, being a little shit to everyone and everything. Tubbo, the calmer and so-called ‘clingy’ boy who just wants to do his own thing. Tommy is actually the clingy one to Tubbo… Jack, the newest out of the four and honestly has to put up with the boys, they really do love Jack. And there you were… Y/N. Everyone looked around at each other, unknown to how this ‘Big Q’ would change the upcoming events of the land you and everyone else walked upon.

Your thoughts were cut off by Tommy's voice once again, “All right, everyone get out!”

The phantoms were gone. You’re not quite sure why or how that happened but that meant one thing… for the cartel. Since no one could find these phantoms in the sky at all, they couldn’t harvest anymore phantom membranes which were usually crafted to make slow fall potions. Obviously, Tommy had to use this to our (his) advantage.

“HEY GUYS!” You heard Tommy shout at you, Tubbo, and Jack from behind.

The three of you guys stopped walking and stared back at Tommy as he jogged up to you, a huge grin on his face. You were all making your way back into the sewers to meet up at ‘Boss man’s hideout’ so the heist could be resumed and reevaluated from the day prior.

You all gathered around in the hideout, Tommy swinging one arm over your shoulder and the other over Tubbo’s, “Okay so… Here's the thing, if we go around the server, we get all the phantom membranes, we bring them down here or even ender chest them.”

“Which then means we become the most powerful group in the land!” Tommy exclaimed, “You know this cause Dream fucking shits himself over items that he doesn’t have.”

You shuffle your feet with uncertainty at the mention of Dreams name, Tommy notices and starts blabbering out more words, “Holy shit, he’ll shit himself and that’s what we gotta do, we gotta head out with leather armour and look really unsuspicious.

“Now you guys follow me…”

Eventually you all meet at Tommys enterprise, and he fishes in his chests for four stacks of black, leather armour, poorly made. You all looked at each other quizzically and hesitantly took the clothes and you all headed off into your own rooms to get changed out of your uniforms. When you returned, Tommy threw two sticks at you and two more pairs at Tubbo and Jack.

Jack picked up the sticks and asked, “What on earth are these for?”

“We’re plumbers!” Tommy responded.

This heist was so stupid, genuinely. You end up breaking into almost, if not, everyone’s homes and bases to steal phantom membranes. Jack even killed Purpled’s pet chicken, by accident obviously… You all ran across the Dream SMP, in both fear and laughter, you really appreciated these moments with the only people you could trust.

By the end of it, Purpled, Punz, and Ponk had chased you down the sewers with Tubbo holding them off whilst Tommy, Jack and you were trying not to drop any of the membranes. You all end up in Tommy's enterprise, slamming the lid of his ender chest down after we obtained all the membranes. That marks the end of the heist, officially.

After changing back into your L’Manberg uniform and discarding your previous armour somewhere else, you walk past Tommy who was writing something.

You come up behind him and peer over his shoulder, “Whatcha’ writing?”

“I’m disbanding the cartel.” He mumbled.

His hand scribbles words down onto the page, slightly smudging the ink as he moves to a new line, your eyes are able to see who it’s being sent to: ‘Bossman’.

“Oh… well, I had fun, you know.” You spoke up.

He chuckles, “I did too, but I need to focus on other things, plus I get that you feel iffy about Quackity.”

“Hey, do whatever you want to do, and yeah he seemed a bit odd…?” You crossed your arms.

You wouldn’t expect to hear or see that man in the near future.

[toxicroyjamie]

longer version of the roy taking jamie home as a pet au cause i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it:

in this au, roy and jamie actually meet a few years earlier when jamie is like 20yrs old at a party that he definitely wasn’t invited to and roy is still in his party (coke) era and sees this pretty boy and ~wants him~ carnally

jamie is starstruck meeting his hero and is happy to do whatever roy wants cause he’s BEEN down bad. long story short they have sex but this is jamie’s first time with a man which roy finds sooooooo hot cause he gets to like train him how to suck and ride dick. they both end up coming a crazy number of times but morning comes and jamie has to go home cause he has training the next day.

roy already wants to keep jamie so he gives him his number on a scrap of paper and jamie promises to call but UH OH, he loses or destroys the paper on the way home and has no way to contact him. both are suffering cause they have no way to reach each other.

cut to 3 years later when jamie gets loaned to richmond and roy sees HIM, that man who rocked his world but who never called him back. at first he’s a little angry cause WTF jamie? but it’s quickly replaced by desire.

jamie is freaking out cause part of the reason he wanted to go to richmond was so he could talk to roy again. after training ends, roy drags jamie into the boot room, first to give him shit about jamie not calling him back and then to get jamie to suck his dick as an apology (which jamie LOVES since he was a little worried roy wouldn’t want him anymore). jamie is still the THROAT GOAT 💪🏻 (which was exactly how roy trained him) and roy is even more convinced that he wants to keep him like a pet.

when they leave to go to the parking lot, roy brings jamie to his car and jamie just follows along like a happy duckling cause he is so down for whatever roy wants.

roy very matter-of-factly says that he’s keeping jamie and jamie is so happy (and horny) and they end up fucking again. they enter into an intense bdsm tpe puppy play relationship ☺️

i think both of them would find it hot to talk about jamie quitting football and just being roy’s house pet 24/7 but that’s just a fantasy (… unless 👀) though having jamie stay a footballer means roy can use him whenever he needs, like at away games, on the bus, in the change room, etc

they also still start their one-on-one training like in canon but it’s even more insane and sexual, if such a thing is even possible.

and they live happily ever after 💙

(i have more depraved thoughts about this scenario but this was already getting long and convoluted lol)

(also this ask is from @jamietarttt, on anon cause i didn’t want to send such filth from my main lmao)

I'm actually obsessed with this thank you. I don't even have anything to add... please tell me All of your thoughts rn I need it (if you want to!!)

[noa-de-cajou]

Day 23 : A mystery / Being old together / Take a drink / judgement

_____

“... So.”

“... Yep.”

“Here we are.”

“We sure are here.”

“It wasn’t easy, to try and find some time to talk face-to-face. You’re always surrounded by other people.”

I smile and pick up the piping hot cup of tea on the table.

“So it's gonna be my fault?”

“I'm merely stating facts, Ether, that's all.”

Ha! Reminds me of someone I knew.

“So. You're married to an empress now. An a half angel, half demon queen. And a werewolf. That’s certainly something.”

“Sure is! I got really lucky. But what about you, miss Director? How’d you even manage all of this?”

“I got some help. From Dal and Demetria, mainly.”

“Demetria… Like Demetria Camarra-Pharos? Oh shit, talk about a trip down memory lane. I was getting weird ass vibes from her back when we were classmates.”

“And you were right. When she learned she was going to become blind eventually, she decided to just lose her sight as soon as she could and managed to get artificial aura vision somehow.”

“What the hell.”

“I know. But she was an excellent diplomat. And I mean excellent. So I got her help despite the “weird vibes” as you’d call it.”

“Was it, uh, worth it?”

“Honestly, I'm not sure. She never specified how she got the intel she gave me, kept bumping into every furniture despite her cane, I always got complaints from everyone in the School about her behavior, she was loud, wouldn't respect my privacy, asked the most intrusive questions, and I had to clean up after her all the time. To the very end. This idiot died attempting a lichification ritual. She gave us so much trouble with all the blood, it was horrendous.”

Hm. I smile, a little.

“... Is that all?”

Nenia averts her eyes away from mine. We’re both more than a century old but her mannerisms are still the same.

“... Well. Something’s different now.”

“What is?”

“I don’t know, exactly. It’s just, sometimes I hold out my hand expecting her to slap papers into it. Or I catch myself wondering why she’s talking so long to come back from her mission. And it feels… wrong, to not hear her voice shout my name anymore. It's strange. She’s been gone more than forty years and I'm still not used to it. She reminded me of some kind of snake and I got Horus some time after, without thinking about it.”

She looks at the vivarium where her snake is sleeping, curled onto itself.

“Do you miss her?” I ask.

“I… don’t know. Dal does, I think. Sometimes he just looks at her old office door with a lost face. He knows better than me what missing people feels like.”

Yeah. I bet he does.

“It doesn’t really matter now, does it? I could never understand her. Maybe I didn't try hard enough, but I had other things on my mind, and… I don’t know. The ritual was sudden. I don't know what was going through her head, to do such a thing.”

“She liked you, didn’t she?”

“I… suppose, yes.”

“Then maybe she wanted to witness the results of what you were building. Or to spend more time with you.”

Nenia looks thrown off guard. Like, fully. She grips her cup tighter and I can actually see her face twist into a weird expression. A childish anger. Maybe some kind of sadness.

“That's the stupidest reason for a ritual I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, to you, maybe. But humans experience it differently.”

My eyes land on my wedding ring. The one on my artificial hand.

“This isn’t my first time marrying a human woman, you know. The first one died at fifty. Before her time.”

“Then why marry another? Even if the Empress lives to the maximum of a human lifespan, she'll probably die before you. You just set yourself up for more pain. Why would you go through this again?”

“Because it's worth it.”

I didn't hesitate. Not even for a second. Nenia stares at me intently, then smiles a little.

“You’ve changed, Lani.”

I wince a little. Haven’t heard that nickname in a while.

“Obviously? So did you. Like, you're taller than me now and your hair has gotten longer…”

“‘No, that's not what I mean. You look… well. If not for the ears and your age, I could swear that I have a human in front of me.”

She says that like it’s something to be sad about.

I understand, somehow.

I’ve lived too many years and too many things to be a human. Yet I tend to forget that I'm an elf, and not, like, three humans stacked upon each other.

“But I'm not human.”

“No. But you understand them.”

She chuckles and takes a sip of her tea.

“I envy you.”

… Is it really something to be envious about?

Maybe it is. Maybe Nenia would have liked to understand Demetria before she died.

But the way she says it… it’s like she doesn't even know how I do it. How to even apprehend me at all. Maybe we’ve been apart for too long.

Maybe we can't understand each other.

…

“This is the worst tea I've ever drank, Nia.”

“Well, you’ll brew it yourself next time, Lani, I have priorities.”

“Like what, ruling a country?”

“You're the worst consort I've ever met. Worse than my tea.”

“My wife does most of the ruling for a reason!"

Eh. I guess we’re okay like this.

[azirafuck]

listen

imagine you see crowley right. that guy. you love crowley. then you see this dude who looks like him but with scary ass human eyes and NONE of the personality that makes him so amazing. where's his tattoo. why are his clothes flowing around like that. why is he in *white*. his EYES what happened to his wings

and you know it's gonna be relevant. and you think oh god. they're really gonna go there aren't they.

and then aziraphale goes "like old times" and you die a little inside because oh god what thw fuck what the fucking fuck

and the fandom LOVES angel crowley. they adore him. he gives me uncanny valley

and! and it's no longer 6000 years! the ineffables didn't meet on earth anymore! whether crowley remembers is kinda debatable but NOW aziraphale's all fucked up too because he might not have just extended that wing out of kindness, which was huge, he might have just done it because he knew crowley it's so bad

that first conversation in 1x01 loses so much gravity and i love that scene everybody loves that scene

pre fall scene feels like i should look away. should evacuate the premises. it's this giant ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ in my head and oh my god

gdfjgbdfjh the way you worded this made me laugh so much dude, thank you. i completely get this point of view but to me it doesn't look like that at all

i don't think aziraphale extended his wing in eden just because he knew crowley, i think he really just did it out of kindness the same way he helped gabriel - sure, it was out of need to understand what the actual shit was going on, but towards the end of the season it really became a matter of just protection and kindness. that's just how he's wired, both with the archangel who wanted to murder him and with the angel he met once or twice, who never gave his name, who now is a demon

and idk rewatching the eden scene i don't really think it loses gravity, the two scenes are two sides of the same coin, a before and after that interwine incredibly imo, crowley is still the one asking questions - now with more detachment than before - and aziraphale is still the one defending the plan and saying it's best not to speculate

they're really the same as before only more serious because well. last time they both saw what happened

idk idk but thank you so much for this! loved to get this ask, love "uncanny valley crowley" jgfdkgnjdfk

[applegameisprollytaken]

Woohoo, another vent post! I get I need therapy! I will get it eventually. Maybe.

On today's episode of "apples says some bullshit about his emotions that nobody gives a shit about" we have:

The shards.

Pretentious name. I know.

But fuck off this is vent post I'm allowed to be edgy and self referential.

Ok so... I have noticed something about my characters every year or so?

They all tend to have to do with me irl, if that makes sense.

Everything is on display if you know where to look.

I know I won't make it. Not anywhere in life, not to old age. I'm going to work minimum wage until, most likely, I take the easy way out.

And I have a character that represents that

I was raised by homophobic and transphobic old farts who don't like change, and want me to pray to a god I'm sure doesn't care for any of us.

But yet I am close friends with trans people, and AM LITERALLY BI (male preference just to hammer the point home)

So I have a character for that

The feeling I am better than everyone mixed with the knowledge I will never accomplish anything people will give a shit about?

See my very first character written.

The fact that I have to hide who I am with those I care about most, out of fear of losing them? The fact that they only care about me because of the perfect facade I keep up?

Both are characters, sworn enemies of each other, despite being the same person.

The fact that my current personality is a mask I had so long I cant take it off anymore?

Oh, well would you look at that! I have a character for that, and it's topical

The fact I escape to a fantasy world that hurts more than helps. The fact that I live in my games more than I do in the real world, because I know that at least in my games, there is a actual rock bottom I can crawl out from.

I have a character for that.

I have a character for everything wrong with me.

My hatred of parts of myself I cannot change nor get rid of. My fear of how much I have lost of myself. My fear of the world taking more from me if I try to leave my special little place.

I have characters for that.

My spite? My hatred? My fear of death? My craving for it? My every last shard?

All for display.

I even was going to make a game about it, once upon a time.

And I have a character for everything else too. What is too broad to be one or two characters, so instead are split between the hundreds.

My ego, a cardboard cutout of falsities and theatrics, hiding what little self worth I really have

My anger, something that defined me for a decade before I could overcome it. A chained beast I keep in its box l, never to be seen again. (Yes, yes, I know it's edgy fuck off)

My anxiety, with defenses upon defenses to protect from anyone who tries to get close. No matter if friend or foe.

My "funny" disabilities. A jester who can't sit still or get a hint but still won't shut up no matter how hard you try.

And of course, the final boss of my issues, my depression. It eclipses all. Happiness weakened, sadness strengthened. Will to live gone the way of the dodo.

[sunny6677]

SPOOKY RAP BATTLES PART 3

@mayisgoingnuts

Matchup: Skid & Pump vs Roy.

Announcer: "..uhhhh.. hey, folks. Welcome back to Spooky Rap Battles. Our contestors for this round will be Royyyyy, Carmen's son who she mentioned last round—"

(Roy give a roll of his eyes.)

Announcer: "And.. these two kids named Skid and Pump. I have.. absolutely no idea why two 8 year olds are going up against a teenager. But—I dunno. Whatevers funnier for you, I guess. Anyway.. Roy—you go first."

Roy: (Turn 1)

"Heheh.. hi, losers! What are you doing here?

Don't you already know that everyone thinks you're weird?

Y'know, it's clear that you both have a severe case of dum-disease

You think you can rap against me? Well, try to catch these!" (Roy makes a gesture with his fists)

"It's not even October, it's already over—

But you're still celebrating like it's somehow gonna get closer and closer!

Nothing you stupid kids throw at me will make my raps go any slower.

Hey—why not go cry to your mom? Maybe show her and let her lose her composure!

You have no chance of winning, you freaks—you could never beat me!

Now go ahead and rap—I'll make you into mincemeat!"

Announcer: "..very mature of you, Roy. Anyway.. Skid, Pump. Your turn. I guess."

Skid: (Turn 1)

"This is not spooky—this is scary!

I mean.. being up against a unnecessary inordinary bully who's language isn't even sanitary!"

Pump:

"We might be losers to you—but if anythings true, it's this one thingy that'll make you drop dead!

You're so forgetful that we could call you an airhead!"

Skid:

"You know—if you are a monster, you probably wouldn't be a skeleton! No question!

Because everything seems to get under your skin no matter how much you grin!"

Pump:

"No need to be a jerk-o-lantern—this is just how things are!

You're about has sensitive and easy to break as a candy bar!"

Skid:

"We have all chances of winning—because we're too cool for a ghoul like you!

But you probably couldn't be even called a ghoul—even in the land of the dead you wouldn't know how to follow basic rules!"

Pump:

"We're here to pumpkin spice things up, and you're here acting like a broken record!

At least you're mom could come up with more creative stuff when Ms Jaune yelled at her."

Announcer: "..damn. That was a lot of puns. Uh.. oh shit, Roy looks kinda pissed. Uhhh—Roy. Next turn."

Roy: (Turn 2)

"What did you say to me, you losers?! You don't get to talk to me like that!

I won't let myself get insulted by two little brats!

If we're bringing my mom into this, then let's talk about you!

Hey—" (He looks over at Skid) "When's the last time your dad actually told you the truth?

You're an annoying, loud-mouthed, self-centered kid!

And if you don't shut up, I'm kicking you straight into the pit!

And as for you, you big-headed tooth-gap having freak—" (He looks over to Pump)

"You don't even bother to defend yourself or your friend against me—you're hella weak!

Neither of you have any room to be talkin', so why don't you be quiet before I beat your face in so hard it leaves a bunch of clustered bruises like cheese?!"

Announcer: "Cheese? Heh.. clinging to rhymes there, aren't you?"

Roy: "Shut up!"

Announcer: "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Kids—go ahead."

Pump: (Turn 2)

"Uhhhh.. why is Roy being mean at us again?"

Skid:

"He's probably just mad because he doesn't have a real friend!"

Pump:

"Oh—don't worry, Roy! We can cheer you up! We'll give you a lil demonstration!

We'll be here as your backup for your built up frustration!"

Skid:

"We'll snicker at your jokes even if they aren't too sweet—

We won't laugh at you even though you look like a burnt piece of meat!"

Pump:

"Maybe we can be friends with Ross and Robert too—they usually don't mind us!

Knowing you though, that'd probably make you just cuss.."

Skid:

"You're like a Kit Kat with how easily you can break!

Your mean personality is just so fake!

And I won't sugarcoat how better you think you are than everyone—

Maybe to humble you at a party, we shouldn't give you cake!"

Pump:

"You probably need it, judging by how you look.

There's so many other things we could call you in the book!

Instead of trying to work out your anger issues, you just bully us like a crook!"

Skid:

"If you think you had any chance of succeeding at this round at all—this is only the beginning!"

Skid & Pump (together):

"At least compared to you, our raps are actually award-winning!"

Roy:

"You little—!"

Announcer: "Jesus—fuck. No. Don't hurt them." (She lightly shoves Roy away before he can hurt the kids) "Ughh.. alright. That's the end of this round folks. Uh.."

[simphellscape]

our fans // the day the music died // next | tw: cursing, talkin bout sex

Nineteen year old Eren Jaeger has kept track of how many live shows he’s performed in his head, and has done since his very first one. As he sits on the pull-out couch in his band’s tour bus tonight, he reflects on his 44th gig. He keeps the bulk of his notes to himself, because the few times he’s tried to vocalize them, his bandmates tell him that he has nothing to worry about. The thing about being a drummer, however, is timing. Eren’s must be perfect.

The door to the bus opens gingerly, and Armin tiptoes through the crack.

“Oh! Hey, Eren! Great show tonight,” Armin greets, seemingly surprised to find Eren there.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Armin leans against the half-wall beside the door and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“So, you and (y/n), huh?”

Eren chokes on nothing. He thought that he’d been doing well hiding that, but he should have known better than to think Armin wouldn’t find out. Nothing has ever gotten past him, and nothing ever will.

“I’m sorry?” he sputters.

“I saw you give her a little peck in the wings before LOVESICK! went on. S’cute.”

Eren has a bad feeling about this. The condescending tone in Armin’s voice tells him that he’s not done.

“Thanks…” he replies, cautiously.

“I’ve just been thinking about it, though. How it could be bad for our image.”

“There it is,” Eren mutters under his breath.

“Let’s say this goes one of two ways. You could stay in the relationship with her, and it would inevitably get to the public. We’d lose a lot of fans, the ones who support cannibal because you’re a teenage heartthrob and not because they particularly like the music. I know that seems like a good thing, but we really can’t afford that right now, I’m telling you. Or, you could break it off now and save all of us a lot of trouble.”

Eren blinks. He really hates when Armin puts his “manager hat” on. It makes him so cold, so mean. Ever since they’ve started this tour, that’s all he ever sees from him.

“Listen, Armin, I really like her, and --”

“Remember, this isn’t just your career we’re talking about. Mikasa, Reiner, and Jean are in this, too. And, you know, me.”

“That’s not fair, dude.”

“I’m just saying--”

“What do you even know about being with someone, Armin? I’ve never even seen you talk to a girl like that.”

Armin sighs.

“You’re right, I don’t know anything about that. But, I do know statistics. Trends. You remember Levi from that band Trost like ten years ago?”

Eren nods, slowly.

“They were really big, and then it hit 2008 and no one ever heard from them again. You know why?”

“I don’t see how this is relevant.”

“It came out in some tabloid that he’s married to some guy. Teenage hearts across the globe were crushed in an instant. I don’t think it matters much, but a lot of people did. The band tried to go on tour again in 2009, and they couldn’t even make enough money to pay for the bus.”

“Ever heard of homophobia, Armin? Shit’s whack. And it’s not like I’m gonna propose to her or anything! We’ve only been dating for, like, two months!”

“My point stands, Eren, that stuff like this matters to teenage girls. A lot. That’s almost all of our fanbase.”

“(y/n)’s a teenage girl. Is it not important that it matters to her? That it matters to me? Your best friend?”

“You’re both young, attractive, famous people. It’ll be just fine. I’m working on making it so that it doesn’t matter who you date, but until then you could just hook-up with--”

“Jesus, STOP!” Eren shouts.

Silence settles over the bus. Eren can’t even bring himself to look at Armin. He’s disgusted. He’s conflicted. He’s angry.

Most of all, he can’t believe that he’s considering what he has to say. He knows Armin well — sometimes a bit too well — and understands that he cannot and will not hop off of this soap box until Eren obeys. Until then, he will pester, or worse, sort out the problem himself. He’s determined, dementedly so. Has been since this whole managing business started; since Eren gave him something to be good at. It’s only gotten worse as fame has reared its ugly head.

“If I do it,” Eren sighs, “will you drop this?”

“Yeah, I will,” Armin mutters.

“No, like, seriously. If I have to break up with her, I don’t wanna hear another fucking word about something like this. Trust me, I won’t even dream about dating anyone ever again.”

Armin nods, eyes glued to the carpet.

“Alright.”

Eren stands, making a beeline for the door.

“You’re doing it now? Maybe you should calm--”

“Do you want me to dump her or not?” Eren interrupts, nostrils flared.

After a moment of tense silence, boring holes through Armin’s skull with fiery eyes, he speaks again.

“That’s what I thought.”

(a/n): they said the name of the fan fiction in the fan fiction lol

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