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golbrocklovely · 2 years ago

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let's fall in love for the night // colby brock

A/N: wow, this fic felt like it took a decade to write. and fun fact, after finally finishing it (editing wise), come to find out it's one of my longest fics. not the longest, but one of them. so now it makes sense. so, the inspo for this fic is the song, and i hear it all the time at work. i love it a lot, and thought it was a good fic idea. hopefully that translate well. it's not a direct interpretation of the song, it's more just a couple of the lyrics at the beginning and end and the rest is vaguely related to the song. sorry this one doesn't have an outright happy ending, but i promise the next fic will be. please let me know what you think, and i'll see yall later :)

inspired by the song "Let's Fall in Love for the Night" by Finneas

prompt: it was simple idea: act like the two of you were dating for one night. what possibly could go wrong in just a couple hours? || colby brock x fem!reader

trigger warnings: light smut (but no sex), pretend dating, angst, possible happy ending (but still heartbreaking), club scenes/partying, drinking, romantic moments, super cheesy at times, fluff, cursing??

word count: 5590

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's fall in love for the night / And forget in the morning

It started out as a silly joke - "let's pretend to date for a night". You were the one that brought it up, but immediately felt embarrassed by it. Of course, you were joking. You would never want to actually date your best friend, Colby. The only reason you even suggested it was because after a long night of talking about life, you both confessed how lonely you guys felt. How you both deeply wanted someone to be in love with. How much you yearned to have someone that was yours. But there was a lot of things in your way. For Colby, he didn't trust many. And it was hard for him to open up to those he wanted to be close with; including you, at first. And for you.... it was a bit of a laundry list of reasons. The main one? You just weren't sure there was "the one" for you. And for that reason alone, you didn't feel like breaking your heart over and over again just to search for someone that wasn't even real.

So, your suggestion was quite simple: pretend to date each other for one night, to get the experience of being in love. Maybe pretending even for a couple hours might alleviate some of the desire you felt. Maybe it would cool the fires in you that only came out when drunk and vulnerable.

Colby at first was against it, only because he couldn't imagine actually dating you. You were one of the few girls in his life he never had a thing for, but that wasn't because he didn't find you attractive. You definitely were, which is why he found it hard to believe your love life was as dry as his. But him... dating you? It felt strange. But the more he thought about - not spending a night alone again, going out on a date, actually planning one for the first time in months, holding someone's hand - it sounded nice. Relaxing, even. And having it be you and not someone he had to keep his guard up around made it all the more enticing.

He eventually said yes weeks later, which surprised you immensely. Especially given the distain look he had when you mentioned it, you thought there was no way in hell he would say yes.

"How do we do it?" He asked, taking a sip from his drink.

“Well... we would only date for the night. Until midnight. Tomorrow.” You stated.

He agreed. “That sounds good. Where would you like to go?”

“Where would you take a girl you've been with for a while?” You queried.

He snorted, “It's been a long time since I've had to worry about that.”

“You’ve got until tomorrow at seven to figure that out. Maybe a bit before. I would like some time to get ready for our date.” You grinned, raising your eyebrows.

“Okay then. I'll see you tomorrow...” Colby paused, his eyes locking with yours. “Girlfriend.”

You rolled your eyes jokingly, “And I'll see you tomorrow, boyfriend.”

The rest of the party you guys stayed away from each other. And all night all you could think of was what will tomorrow bring. Your stomach flipped with anticipation. But you tried to settle it down by thinking repeatedly it's just a "date" with Colby. There's no reason to be hyped for it.

You were just playing pretend.

~~~~~

It was after five in the evening when Colby finally texted you about the date - you guys were going out to eat. But he wouldn't tell you where. All he mentioned was that you guys had to dress semi-formal.

You started getting ready, not really sure what was completely in store for you. You showered, did your hair, and makeup in record time. Now... for the outfit. You weren't sure how "formal" Colby was actually going to be. That man very rarely ever dressed formal. But you figured the red cocktail dress you bought a couple weeks back would work well with whatever you two were doing tonight.

The benefit of living with Sam and Colby in this scenario was that if Colby wasn't dressed as formal as you, you could get change, which did calm your nerves a bit.

Slowly walking down the stairs, you could hear someone in the kitchen. As you reached the bottom, you turned and saw Colby waiting for you, staring down at his phone.

You inquired, “Calling an uber?”

“Yeah it should be here soon.” He mentioned nonchalantly.

Colby finally picked his head up, gazing at you. His eyes widened for a split second. He collected himself, calmly saying, "You look beautiful."

You giggled, trying not to notice the way he looked you up and down. "Thank you. I'm surprised to see you in actual dresswear."

You glanced at his outfit: black dress shoes, black slacks, and a dark maroon button up. He had his leather jacket on, giving him that little edge that you were used to seeing.

A shy smile came to his face. “Yeah, I don't really get a chance to get dressed up so I figured tonight would be a good time to do it.”

“You look really nice.” You admitted.

He nodded quickly. "Thanks."

There was a moment of silence between the two of you. You weren't sure what it was from - nervousness, lack of conversation, or just waiting for the uber. Either way, you hated it.

“The uber's gonna be here in a moment. Want to head outside?” He asked.

“Sure. Sounds good.” You replied.

You grabbed your jacket on the way out, slipping it on quickly. As Colby locked the door, the slight chill in the air made you shiver. Colby began to walk down the path to the street, his hand reaching out for yours. At first you were surprised to see him do that, but then you slipped your hand into his. His hand was warm and soft, somehow making your body feel even colder. The uber pulled up, and you two got in. He let go of your hand for a moment, only to grab it again.

The ride was quiet the whole way to the restaurant. You couldn't tell if it was your nervousness or his, but either way you could cut the tension with a knife. As you finally arrived, you felt your heart flutter.

Like many restaurants in Vegas, it was inside a hotel. And this was one of the nicer ones, from the way there was a doorman that propped the door open for you as you entered. Colby knew where he was going, so you followed right along with him; his hand still embracing yours. You cupped his arm with your other hand, squeezing him lightly. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but you doing that made his heart race.

Finally reaching the restaurant, you could see by the name that it was an Italian place - and an expensive one at that. Everything on the outside seemed bougie, and that continued inside the restaurant.

“How did you get us into a place like this?” You questioned under your breath.

He smirked down at you, “I have friends in high places, I guess.”

“Good evening.” The hostess spoke.

“Hello, table for two under ‘Brock’.” Colby stated.

The hostess looked at her screen and nodded her head. “Okay, follow me.”

You glanced around as you followed behind Colby, feeling out of your element. You weren’t used to places like this. No man had ever taken you out to somewhere this nice. The last time you went somewhere like this was for a dinner Sam and Colby had thrown after a successful video series.

“I hope this table is to your liking. Your waiter will be with you shortly.” The hostess smiled, walking away.

Colby pulled your chair out as you slipped your jacket off, resting it on the back. He slid into his seat, you both finally making eye contact for the first time since leaving home.

You picked up your menu, Colby following suit. You both mumbled what you planned to have to eat that night, you settling on the three cheese ravioli, and Colby was getting some pasta dish neither one of you could pronounce. The waiter came to your table a moment later. You ordered the food and drinks, and then stared at each other again.

Why does everything feel so awkward? You and Colby had been friends for years, could talk about anything and everything. Why was now so strange?

Sure, you were pretending to be dating but... it shouldn't be that weird.

After the waiter came back with the drinks, you paused until he left to finally speak. You blurted out, "Is this not kinda awkward, or am I just going crazy?"

Colby sighed, happy that you picked up on the uneasiness between the two of you. "Yeah, this is a bit strange. Don't you think?"

You shrugged. “A little. Maybe it's because we aren't playing pretend enough.”

He raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“Well, if we were an actual couple, there wouldn't be all this tension. Assuming we've been together for a while.” You remarked.

“How long do you think we've been dating?” Colby added, “Hypothetically.”

You bit your lip and then thought for a moment. "Hypothetically, I could see us maybe having dated for... two years? Maybe going on three?"

He sat back in his chair, “Hmm, interesting. What would have been the starting point of our relationship?”

“I'm not sure... maybe us hooking up at a party?” You suggested, sipping your drink.

Colby grimaced, “No, I don't think so.”

“Well, what do you have in mind?” You responded.

"Hypothetically," Colby stared at the flicker candle at your table, then looked up at you. "I think we would have just happened to start dating. Maybe, we would have been on double date with Sam and Kat or something."

“You mean, basically any time we all hang out?” You laughed.

He shook his head. “Yeah, no. An official, actual date? We've never done that as a group.”

“I don't know, I feel like if that scenario did happen, we would have had to have been drunk at some point during the night.” You commented.

“Why do you say that?” He squinted.

You whisper-yelled dramatically. “We're both nervous as hell right now, and this isn't even a real date!”

He chuckled. “True, I guess. But the real question is what would make us want to start dating?”

“Ohhh, that's a good one.” You both paused for a second. You spoke first, “Hypothetically?”

He nodded his head.

“I think.... Oh! Two years ago, do you remember when we all went to that haunted hotel, but we weren't filming?” You described.

He blinked, “You're gonna have to be more specific. It's kinda my job to go to haunted places.”

“Shut up," you deadpanned. "Remember, we had a layover when flying to New York for some event, and we had to stay because the flight was cancelled due to the weather. And the closest and only open hotel was the –”

“Annamarie Inn, or something like that?” Colby chimed in.

“Yes!” You exclaimed.

“Oh my God, I remember that place. That was....” he shivered. “Fucking creepy.”

“It was so small, borderline a motel. And the front desk person was mean.” You remembered.

“Well, if no one had stayed at my place for months on end, I too would be annoyed by some out of town LA-ers.” He snickered.

“It didn't help you were wearing a Fendi hoodie.” You jeered sarcastically.

He gaped. “It was cozy!”

“You're a brand whore who sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of Nowhere, America!” You sassed.

He glared, “If we were actually dating, I would break up with you right now.”

"Aww, don't like being roasted?" You mocked, pouting.

“Not when I'm paying, no.” He replied dryly.

You sat back in your chair crossing your arms, scowling jokingly. You took a swig of your drink, and then continued. "But anyway, that night would have been the beginning of us, in theory, I think."

“Why? What even happened?” Colby cocked his head.

“We had to share one bed, remember? Kat was insistent on sleeping with Sam because the building creeped her out, and so we shared a room instead. But when we got to the room, it was a single bed.” You recalled.

He hummed, agreeing. “Yeah, you're right. But why would that have been the night we started dating?”

“Well, I remember us sharing the room and I remember it was really cold and we just cuddled with each other, and I think being that close could have caused something to happen.” You stated.

“Maybe...” He mumbled.

"I just know that that night was really stressful but us being together in that room was..." Your mind drifted off to the memory of that night. You could remember studying Colby's face in the dark, how relaxed he looked after the stressful day you all had. You couldn't understand how he looked even more handsome up close. You remembered having to hold yourself back from touching his face, his lips.... "Nice. It-it was really nice."

You took another sip of your drink, hoping that Colby didn't notice your cheeks and how red they had become.

He did notice, but he didn't say anything. And part of him remembered that night. That was the night he woke up with your head lying on his chest and it was all he could think about the rest of the trip.

“Did you have a different idea of when we would have hypothetically started dating?” You asked.

Colby cleared his throat. “Sort of. But I kinda like your idea better.”

The idea he had in his head was also during an investigation, but it was when the cameras were off. You both had crazy things happen during the night; during the Estes Method it said your name, and Colby at one point thought he saw a figure at the end of a hallway. Everyone was taking a break outside, and you asked for a hug. Of course, he gave you one, and you offhandedly told him that you felt safe in his arms.

It took a lot to make Colby speechless, but you did it so easily in that moment.

The waiter interrupted Colby's memory, bringing out the food. You both chowed down, the pasta tasted extra delicious. You continued to talk about your made-up relationship, and also just talked about life in general. You ended up skipping dessert, and asked Colby if there was anything else planned for tonight.

He informed you, slipping his jacket on. “There's a new bar that opened up in the next hotel over that I was thinking we could check out.”

You smiled. “That sounds good.”

He slid his phone out, turning back to you as he walked. “Do you want to walk or catch another uber?”

You followed him, placing your jacket on again. “We can walk, I don't mind.”

Colby grabbed your hand as you left the restaurant. You felt giddy this time around, all the tension from before now gone after talking with each other for a couple hours. You couldn't help but smile as you walked outside onto the Vegas strip. The sky had grown dark but was somehow darker than usual. A distant boom bounced off the buildings on the strip. Thunder.

He glanced up at the sky, turning his head to you. “I think it's about to rain. Let's walk a little faster.”

You nodded your head, picking up the pace. Colby stayed near you, even though he could speed walk faster than you could run. He wasn't going to leave you behind. Finally crossing the street, you made it to the other hotel. You still had to walk to the doors though. But suddenly, the skies opened up and rain poured down onto you and everyone around. Some rushed into the hotel, others pulled out umbrellas. Colby pulled you two under an awning, his arm wrapping around you.

“Do you want to wait here until it lets up a bit?” He queried, getting close to you.

“Sure.” You nodded.

You stared out at the rain, watching it splatter as it hit the ground. It very rarely rained in Vegas, so to see it come down like this was both strange and fascinating. And somehow, for a moment, there weren’t that many people around. Most had ran inside, leaving the two of you out on your own. Having a solitude moment in Vegas was even more rare than the rain. A thought popped into your head: go dance in the rain. You didn't know why, but you had to do it. You slipped out from under Colby's arm and walked out into the street, letting the rain hit your skin and clothes.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” He called out to you.

You let the rain slowly soak you, turning towards Colby. "Live a little! Join me."

Colby shook his head slightly, squinting at you in amusement. A moment passed. He sighed and stepped out into the rain.

You started jumping up and down, laughing at him as he opened his arms wide. His maroon shirt grew darker as the rain drenched him. He turned back to you, grabbing your hands and spinning you around, almost dancing. You cackled as he pulled you close and picked you up for a split second. He spun around with you in his arms, and only stopped once you wailed at him to do so. Your eyes landed on each other’s and time froze. You felt hyper aware of how Colby's hands were on your waist, and how yours were wrapped around his neck. Your bodies were close to one another, his heat radiating onto you. You couldn't contain yourself, even if you wanted to. The closeness made it all the more easy to lean in, and Colby followed suit.

This wasn't your first kiss with Colby; that one happened a long time ago during a truth or dare drinking game. But this one blew that old one out of the water. Back then, you felt embarrassed to kiss him, kind of wishing you had just taken the five shots that was given as an option instead. But now, all you could think of was that you hoped this kiss never ended. Once his tongue slid across your bottom lip, you knew whatever relationship you had with him was going to be permanently changed.

He felt the same as you. There was a sudden craving that raced through his body the moment your lips touched his. How was it possible that all this time he had missed out on this? On you? There's no way the first kiss was like this. If it had been, he would have asked you to be his that night. Maybe he had been so wrapped up in his own bullshit, he couldn't have imagined asking you out. It was crazy to think that pretending to date for a night got him here.

And then it hit him: this wasn't real. You guys were on a fake date, pretending to be a couple. The light pain in his chest made him pull away, but part of him wished he never did.

“We... we should stop.” He voiced, breathlessly.

You stammered, trying to calm yourself. “R-right. And, uh, get out of the rain.”

"Yeah." He stepped back farther away from you, needing some space so that he could think again. "C'mon, let's get inside."

You both raced in, not wanting to get anymore wet than you already were. The cool hotel air hit you and made you shiver, Colby doing the same.

"So... where's the club at in here?" You asked awkwardly.

A brief smirk passed his face, his hand finding yours again as you walked. “It's a speakeasy, so it's hidden behind the back of some store. It's similar to the other one we go to all the time. Made by the same people.”

You exhaled, “That's fun.”

“Yeah, me and Sam were gonna check it out last week but never got around to it.” He turned to you, studying your face. “But if you don't want to, we can just –”

"No, I don't mind." You stopped Colby lightly, pointing at the signs for the bathroom. "Maybe before we go in, I should use the restroom and make sure I don't look like a complete mess."

He glanced down at himself, “Same here.”

You went inside and looked at yourself in the mirror. Not too bad for being drenched, weirdly enough. Your makeup had survived the rain, thank God for waterproof, and all that really looked a bit messy was your hair.

Realistically, while you were going in here to make sure you didn't look bad, you were really in here because of how nervous you were. It had finally really hit you that you two just made out in the rain. Something you had wanted to do with someone since you were a kid and saw 'A Cinderella Story'. And now you did it... on a fake date, no less.

Maybe he was the one for.... no. You couldn't allow yourself to think like that.

You dried your hair as best you could: drying the ends under the hand-dryer and running your fingers through the rest. You pinned it up with a clip in your bag, checked your makeup again, and then stepped back out into the busy walkway of the hotel. Colby was leaning against the wall waiting for you, looking ridiculously suave for no reason. He perked up when he saw you, sliding his phone back into his pocket.

His shirt looked mostly dried, and his leather jacket had been wiped down - something he had done in the bathroom while you were gone. He hoped you didn't notice; he didn't want to seem like he was doing too much. He prayed he was pulling off the effortlessness he could usually get away with.

You noted it, but didn't say anything.

Colby grasped your hand again, pulling you along silently to the store in question that housed the speakeasy. It looked like a regular Vegas gift shop. He stopped at the back of the store, in front of a "Employees Only" door with an eye-slot on it. It opened up, and a man asked "Password."

“’I'm looking for Piper.’” He quoted.

The man nodded, closed the slot, and opened the door. Inside was a dark, booming club. You were shocked to see it. Knowing how the other one looked, this was somehow more impressive. It was packed and the music was loud and fun. Colby smiled at you and pointed at a free table across the way.

“Wow, this place is crazy!” You yelled over the music.

He glanced around, “I know. I'm surprised how many people are here tonight.”

“What time is it?” You questioned.

Colby looked down at his watch. “It's... a little after ten.”

Your heart skipped a beat, hearing the time. “Oh.”

“What is it?” He furrowed his brow.

“We only have a couple more hours until midnight.” You explained.

“And then...” His voice grew quiet, “our fake date is over.”

The two of you stayed silent for a moment, Colby breaking it by looking up at you. "Well, we better make the most of it."

You ordered drinks, downing them within minutes. The upbeat music made you want to dance, so you grabbed Colby's hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. Colby didn't really like dancing. He was more of a people watcher when he was at the club. But you were not taking no for an answer.

You swayed your hips to the music as you faced Colby. He watched you, stepping back and forth to the beat. His hand still held onto yours, eventually spinning you and gliding you into him. He slid his hands down your body, cupping your waist sweetly. His body pressed against yours, his breath fanning across your neck. Your back arched at his closeness, causing goosebumps to form across your skin. How was it possible that he was doing all of this to you? You had danced with Colby on countless occasions, spent multiple times in your life at the club with him. But tonight, after everything... things really felt different.

Colby's mind was reeling just as much as yours, if not more so. He started out the night thinking this was going to be a fun night, but nothing too crazy. And now... he had to do everything in his power not to jump your bones in the middle of this club. But your ass pressed against his crotch was making that very hard to do.

His grip on your waist tightened as you grinded back into him harder, teasing him. You felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled. He buried his face into your neck before whispering "Fuck, Y/N, what are you trying to do to me?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." You smirked.

Colby suddenly spun you around, pulling you close. He leaned in, keeping his eyes on you. Somehow, even in the dark, his eyes almost glowed with lust. He kept his mouth close to yours, lips brushing against each other. But he never fully leaned in.

“Kiss me.” He dared.

You exhaled, closing the space between the two of you. The kiss became intense in no time. One of his hands landed in your hair, pulling lightly on your locks causing you to open your mouth, gasping. He took the opportunity to slide his tongue inside. You could taste the fruity cocktail he had finished not long ago. Your hands drifted up to his chest, tugging at his button up and jacket. His other hand snaked down your body, cupping your ass softly.

Your breath hitched, surprised by his forwardness. "Too many people are looking at us. Let's go home."

He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you off the dance floor. “Sounds good to me.”

The intensity had stayed between the two of you the whole time you were in the uber on the way home. You were nice enough not to make out in someone's car, but you couldn't help but squeeze Colby's hand every so often, knowing you guys were getting closer to home. He would do the same back, his eyes snaking up your body.

You weren't sure what was going to happen between the two of you, but you were excited nonetheless.

You both rushed inside after getting dropped off, thanking the driver quickly. Colby had you against the front door the moment it closed, kissing and sucking on your neck. You couldn't help the little noises that fell from your lips, him finding all of your most sensitive spots. All you needed was for him to take you to any of the bedrooms in the house, and you would be set.

Colby's hand drifted up to your shoulder pushing your jacket off, but suddenly his hand froze in place; his eyes staring at his wrist.

“What? What's wrong?” You murmured, breathlessly.

He hesitated. “It's.... five minutes to midnight.”

Your heart sank. And you would never know it, but so did his.

You inhaled. “Oh. So our date is-”

“Done.” Colby grunted.

He backed himself away from you, his hands falling to his sides. You leaned back against the door, running you hands through your hair. You looked back up at him, his eyes still on the floor.

“Why don't we just.... ignore it?” You felt bold saying it, but the way Colby looked at you made you realize you said something wrong.

He shook his head, “N-no. No, we can't.”

“But why? I mean, we had so much fun tonight.” You stepped towards him, trying to close the space again.

He turned and walked away, going to the kitchen. “I know we did, but it was... pretend.”

You couldn’t help but scoff at his words. “Oh, so none of that was real for you? You were just what, faking it? Pretending to want to kiss me?”

“Well no. Of course I wanted to kiss you but the whole point of tonight was just to... live out a fantasy we both wanted.” His voice lowered, hoping you wouldn’t hear him say, “Needed.”

“Colby, you can't be serious. The night started out that way, sure. But after we kissed in the rain, there's no way that that was just part of the plan,” you argued. “Or making out in the club. Or what we were literally going to do until you saw the time.”

“We both needed that, yes. But that isn't reality.” He clenched his jaw, “You and I are meant to be friends.”

You challenged, leaning across the island. “But we could try for more.”

“No, we can't.” Colby didn’t like how his voice trembled.

“We worked so well together tonight, why not give it a try?” You pleaded.

"I'm not willing to lose you as a friend. I care about you, and this was nice. But.... no.” He stuttered, trying to catch his breath. “I... I won't lose you as a friend just because I'm lonely.”

You almost winced, your mind going to the worse thought. “So, none of that meant anything to you. That was all just pent up hormones?”

He glared, his stare turning your body cold. “That's not what I said. Don't put words in my mouth. But what about you, huh?”

“What about me?” You sneered.

“How did tonight make you feel?” Colby asked plainly.

You huffed, “Clearly enough of a way to make me ask you to continue this!”

“What exactly are you feeling, then? Tell me.” He walked around the island, his eyes on yours.

“Well, tonight I felt...” You trailed off.

A certain word came to mind, but you shook it off. There's no way you were going to say that. There's no way you felt that way about Colby, especially not after one date.

He got in front of you, his arms on either side of the counter as he spoke. His voice was gentle, but intense. “Tell me. Say anything. Tell me what you're feeling.”

You gulped, “Right now, you're making me nervous.”

“Why?” He whispered.

You closed your eyes, his stare making it hard to form words. “Because it's hard to think when you're this close to me.”

“But other than that?” He questioned desperately.

You stayed silent, trying to figure out the feeling. A million words came to mind, but none felt quite right to say. They were all too vulnerable, too personal. And him staring down at you intently made it even harder to speak.

He stepped back, his face dropping. “That's the problem, Y/N. Neither one of us knows how to express how we feel. Which is why we went out in the first place. We don't trust ourselves enough to find someone and to trust them in return.”

“Why are you trying to make this more difficult than it has to be? Why can't we just... try? And if it doesn't work out, so what? We can still be friends.” You bargained, trying to make him understand.

He moved towards you again, his voice almost frantic. “You want me to be honest? To tell you how I'm actually feeling?”

“Yes.” You whispered.

“I'm terrified... of not having you in my life. That if we did try this, I would just make you miserable, or vice versa. I can’t give you everything you need. And I can't imagine you not in my life so I would rather take the safe route than try this.” He confessed, not able to even look into your eyes longer than a second.

“When have you ever taken the safe route on anything?” You insisted.

He bit his lip hard, shaking his head. “I'm not willing to bet on this. You are too important to lose.”

You whimpered, “Colby...”

“Maybe one day, we could do this. Maybe one day, this could be us. I'll take that chance later,” he laughed bitterly. “But having this happen tonight? No.”

“Can you promise me that? That we'll try.... later?” You grabbed his hands, holding them once more.

He nodded, doing his best to hold it together. “I'll give it my best shot. When we're both emotionally ready for this, when I'm ready for this.”

There was no way to persuade him, and you didn't want to lose him as a friend with. So... you just accepted what he said.

“Well, you know who to call.” You smiled, brokenly.

He slid your hands out of his, leaving the kitchen slowly. He turned back, not even knowing he was breaking your heart more. "This was nice, Y/N. Thank you for... helping me feel less lonely for an evening."

“You too.” You croaked.

As he walked to his room, he never felt more alone. Each step made him regret every single word he said as he got closer to his bedroom door. All he wanted was to run back to you and hold you as close as he could.

You followed him with your eyes, trying to hold back tears. You watched him go into his room, shuddering out a breath. How long were you holding it, you didn't know.

It took a lot to make you speechless, but he did it so easily in that moment.

I know better / Than to ever call you 'mine'

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inbarfink · 7 months ago

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Okay, so I just found out that I can watch the whole 2015 stage production of ‘Shock Treatment’ on YouTube and, like, I have… so many thoughts and feelings. It really does demonstrate how Shock Treatment’s biggest flaws is just how unfocused and messy and… just needing one or two more rewrites to reach it's full potential.

Like there are a few tweaks to the dialogue that makes the whole narrative a bit simpler and easier to comprehend, the satire is a bit more focused on the core themes, I thought most of the jokes were pretty solid (and the more sexual ones offer somewhat of a stronger thematic link to ‘Rocky Horror’) and now there’s actually Shock Treatment in the plot of Shock Treatment!

I do really like how they tweaked the lyrics of some of the song to smooth over some of the remnant ‘these were written for a very different RHPS sequel and re-fitted into this plot’ weirdness. I especially like ‘I they need some young blood’ and the change to the title line in ‘Looking for Trade Fame’ and ‘Look what I you/he did to my Id” (meaning Farley). Sometimes ya just need to change just one lil' pronoun and the whole-ass song makes a lot more sense.

But the biggest positive change this Stage Version brought is the cast. Because ‘Shock Treatment’ the movie just has way too many characters. Like, look at this compared to RHPS’ cast list.

While this is maybe a natural result of the setting shift from an isolated castle to a whole town, it also leaves a lot of the secondary cast feeling flat and with no real space to develop. Comparing both of Little Nell’s roles is probably the best example. Nurse Ansalong is fun and Nell's performance is great as usual, but she’s just kinda around to be a RHPS nod and so Little Nell has Something to Do in this movie and an excuse to run around in a sexy nurse’s outfit. And these are all noble goals but… well, Columbia was an actual character, as campy as RHPS is, she was a character with emotions and pathos and tragedy and an important narrative and thematic role. Ansalong just never had the time to develop into someone with even a tenth of that depth.

(It also makes ‘Shock Treatment’ waaaay harder to Shadow Cast.)

So the stage version just cutting her out and… basically cutting everyone out except for Brad, Janet, Farley, the two Dr. McKinleys, Betty and Ralph just gives a much better chance for all of these characters to feel like actual people. Campy, exaggerated cartoony people - but definitely people.

Like, we get to spend a little more time on making the manipulation of Janet into a superstar feel more gradual and convincing. Which both help her work better as… basically the Emotional cornerstone of the whole story and make the villains feel more despicable and more competent. Which of course really helps the two Dr. McKinleys since all of Farley’s other minions have been cut. In general they get more opportunity to say funny stuff and can really see how they use their faux psychology and therapyspeak to control people.

....There's some level where I maybe think this script went a little too far in the other direction. That it's kinda disappointing that this Janet didn't never quite go off the deep end like her movie counterpart did. In general this version's slightly more.... grounded vibe - compared to the Movie's kinda Surrealist Nightmare Vibe - is one of the things I feel most conflicted about.

Like on one hand, this kinda campy nonsense world where gameshow hosts committing husbands to mental asylums and living your whole life on a sound-stage are normal is one of the most compelling parts of 'Shock Treatments' satire and it's kind of a shame to lose it... but also this more grounded tone creates a story that it's easier to follow an, more importantly, emotional stakes it's easier to get invested in. I think the Ideal Perfect Version of Shock Treatment’ that Exists Only in My Brain would be, tone-wise, in the middle between the movie and the stage show, but also maybe lean more towards the stage version?

The added details that Brad and Janet’s marriage has been hitting a rough patch because Brad has been fired from his job just as Janet has gotten a promotion (which I think is a detail from "The Brad and Janet Show" draft that was dropped from the 'Shock Treatment' movie?) adds some thematic resonance about the characters dealing with the Changing Times, the idea that Brad might feel emasculated with Janet’s success while has been (temporarily) regulated to the role of a househusband is maybe understandable but it is also understandable why it would frustrate Janet and thus lives her open to the McKinley's manipulations. Again, the characters are still kinda campy, still kinda silly - but having a bit of grounding for Brad and Janet’s relationship does help when this is basically… all the emotional stakes in the story.

Now, in the Ideal Perfect Version of Shock Treatment’ that Exists Only in My Brain, the rift in Brad and Janet relationship would’ve been created by the lingering effects of the events in the Frankenstein's Place. Janet would rather pretend they never happened but Brad is still visibly reeling from that time he got forced-femmed by aliens. And although the events of ‘Rocky Horror' did definitely happen in this version, it’s mentioned as just a throwaway joke (“We’ve been through so much together! Infidelity, homicide, aliens, fishnet stockings… and that’s just the engagement party”). Still, it was a funny throwaway joke - and the promotion-and-firing idea they went with makes thematic sense in this version of ‘Shock Treatment’.

Farley Flavors also get a bit of a ‘boost’ from the trimmed cast but… honestly the changes to his character are the ones I am most split about. Because this version of Farley Flavors is generally better because there’s a bit more… flavor to him. A more visibly wacky personality, a few more gimmicks to him. And when I first saw him I was actually… pretty hyped about him as the main villain.

Because, okay, the main problem with Farley as a villain is that, despite Cliff De Young’s excellent performance, he really is just another Evil 80’s Businessman and that feels a bit bland in the wacky world of Rocky Horror. Like, the whole ‘long-lost twin brother’ twist is supposed to feel like the counterpart to the Alien Twist in RHPS and a parody of stupid soap opera twists in general. But… the thing is that even before we found out he was an alien, Frank was already an incredibly distinctive and unique character. Being revealed as an alien in the last act of the story doesn’t define him.

But since Farley doesn’t have as much going for his character, the stupid parody long-lost brother twist does end up being his defining trait and it makes his whole character feel lackluster because… it’s a stupid parody twist!

But since Twenty-Fifteen Farley is Fairly Far-Fetched right from the get-go this means the twist has more of a chance to feel more like the original Aliens Twist. Plus, there’s bits of dialogue here and there that feel like Foreshadowing. Farley constantly reiterates that Denton is his hometown, and that he’s a self-made man (which connects to the briefly-alluded-to implication that he was adopted into a poorer family than Brad’s and that's the source of his resentment), him saying some very Ominous Things to Bard at the end of ‘Lullaby’

And then…. It turns out this version decided to cut the long-lost twin thing!

Which… honestly I probably should’ve seen coming from the casting choices.

And like, I see the logic here. Obviously the double-casting gimmick does not work on stage, that was supposed to be a parody of soap-opera twists and that element is a lot more downplayed in this version of ‘Shock Treatment’ and like… since this plot point has been already been heavily criticized in the film version I can see why they would want to cut it.

But… it’s not just that I feel like this twist would’ve worked better in this version it’s also that… cutting this plot point and replacing it with nothing just makes Brad - who is already kinda relegated into glorified McGuffin for most of this story - feel like he had even less to do with the plot and makes Farley’s apparent animosity for Brad even more inexplicable and shoddy.

Like, Farley still says he chose Janet ‘because of [Brad]’ so I guess we’re supposed to believe that he just finds Brad to be such a massive lameo that it makes him seethe with a burning hatred of a thousand suns. Which is an even flimsier motivation than that Twin Stuff in the movie.

‘Duel Duet’ always has that problem that it was originally written for two characters with a very powerful well-established rivalry and emotional stakes (Dr. Frank N’ Furter and Riff-Raff) and then had to be transplanted into being about these two schmucks who barely even know each other. And removing the Twin Twist just kinda removes whatever emotional stakes they did have and exacerbates the problem.

.....Honestly, I think the main way to really ‘fix’ Duel Duet is… instead of that one kinda ‘Girl Power’ moment they tried to give Janet that I feel is a bit too heavy-handed and obvious…

Just make ‘Duel Duet’ a Farley versus Janet song!

Like, Janet is unquestionably THE Main Character of the story with the most important emotional journey of all of the characters, she was the core target of Farley’s manipulation and the focus of his schemes, she’s the one who actually got to interact with him and developed any sort of relationship with him, the focus of this scene is on how Janet realizing she has been used by him, she already spends all of Duel Duet physically kicking his ass…

Janet should also be the one to musically face-off against Farley, especially if you remove the only reason why Farley has to hate Brad so much. Like, yeah, she does get to beat him physically... but because this is a musical - the Songs are the thing that gets the biggest emotional and narrative priority. The person who gets to Duel Duet with the Farley is the person who really beats him. And this is really moment that should belong to Janet in this version of the story.

And maybe removing one of the few Things Brad actually gets to do in this plot which is also his Big Musical Number would kinda suck for him, but… well, this version also gives Brad a nice lil’ Triumphant Reprise of ‘In My Own Way’ where he reaffirms his love for Janet and maybe you can expand that into his Big Musical Number and… y’know, if the rift in their marriage was at least kinda about Brad’s insecurities about Janet becoming the Main Breadwinner of the household… Maybe it’ll be a good resolution to his story to embrace being Janet’s little Damsel in Distress?

(I mean, I think this is an element in this musical as it is but.... but you could've leaned into it more!)

And with both Oliver Wright and Macy Struthers cut, that gives more material to make Betty’s character more interesting. Without Oliver, Betty generally gets to talk about her ongoing investigation with Janet - and that means the two of them get to have more interactions and a more visible friendship. And on the other hand, She starts out as Ralph Hapshatt’s cohost, putting on a very Macy-esque false smile and pretending they’re still happily married. It’s a fun, character-specific spin on the whole ‘falsehood of television’ motif of ‘Shock Treatment’.

(Also since Oliver is cut, it means Betty, Janet and Brad sing “Anyhow, Anyhow” as a trio. Which… I think that means they’re gonna have a threesome. And you know what? I support Janet Majors and her two girlfriends!)

And Ralph… really got the biggest boost in personality from the trimming of the cast - especially as most of the singing roles of these cut characters for assigned to him. Like, okay, I think something that’s kind of a problem with the ending of the original ‘Shock Treatment’ is how… unambiguous it is when compared to ‘Rocky Horror’.

Because ‘Rocky Horror’ has a very morally ambiguous cast - pretty much every character has some element that makes them at least a little bit sympathetic and also… well, if not morally wrong than at least an (Audience Participation Voice) ASSHOLE (but also yeah, a lot of them are morally reprehensible even when working against other morally reprehensible characters). And the ending leaves it ambiguous whatever Frank got what he deserves or whatever his death is a tragedy, or some combinations of the two. Not to mention the ambiguity of what happened to Brad and Janet; whatever they’ve been liberated or exploited or corrupted and whatever or not they’re better off being left behind on earth or remaining in Frank’s clutches.

And meanwhile ‘Shock Treatment’ has a VERY clear-cut ending. There is a unambiguous differentiation between the characters who are the Good Guys, and those who are Bad Guys and those who are the Bad Guys’ Gullible Victims. And, like, yeah, all the Bad Guys succeeded in their evil scheme and and are now basically literally rolling in cash

…but literally any character who has any redeeming qualities gets to happily escape this Nightmare Studio while singing a cheery song about sex.

Even Oscar Drill and the Bits, who are quite literally Bit Characters and have very little characterization or connection to our Main Foursome, get to escape. Basically just because what little we got from them made them seem like a nice group of young gays and they never did anything bad.

And all of the people who stayed behind were portrayed as such exaggerated cartoonish bigoted caricatures literally rushing in excitement to get themselves exploited. Nor do we get any moment for our protagonists to show any sort of concern or regret or sadness about these people who they've known all of their lives. So it’s really hard to care about them as, like, Real People who've been duped into being ground down by this awful machine of capitalism and conformism.

I understand the idea that having a wider cast makes Denton feel more like a Town compared to the isolated feeling of the Frankenstein’s Place, and that seeing all of these people fall for Farley’s bullshit in their own slightly-different ways help drives home how prevalent and influential and powerful this capitalist proudly-selfish image-obsessed philosophy really is. But… none of these characters get enough time to develop into anything but shallow parodies of Society. There’s just not enough humanity in them to sell even an ounce of the tragedy of Columbia and Rocky's deaths.

So condensing all of these slightly-different characters into Ralph Hapshatt… that really made him the most complicated and morally-ambiguous character in this whole musical. Because, yeah, he is a self-obsessed sexist asshole driven primarily by a desire for fame and fortune but…

We spend enough time with him to humanize him. To see how he’s struggling with internalized homophobia and how he does have his doubts about what Farley and Co. are doing to his best friends even if his thirst for fame keep winning the moral battle and that said thirst for fame is pretty obviously born from a desperate need for love and validation that this homophobic corporate world just can’t give him.

So when the show ends with him being happily strapped unto to the Shock Treatment device he illegally modified with his own two hands because he just can’t allow himself to refuse a chance to star on TV - on some level this is karma, but it’s also a grim reminder that even if our threesome of heroes are happy and free, this exploitative entertainment machine also 'just got to keep going', just got to keep grinding down other people in the name of mental health, the American family and quality entertainment.

And although we’ve technically scaled down from a whole town to just one guy, this feels so much more tragic because as selfish as Ralph is, and as silly and intentionally-ridiculous as the writing is sometimes, he still feels so much like a person.

#shock treatment #jim sharman #richard o'brien #musical #musical theater #musical theatre #musicals #rocky horror picture show #rocky horror show #rhps #the rocky horror picture show #the rocky horror show #rocky horror #trhps #music

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saelterlude · 10 months ago

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started making this list early (11/02) even though there's no new performance until 16/02 bcs i accidentally found somethings (also bcs I was doing that cursed height ranking).

so here is link click musical clip list pt.3! (pt.1, pt.2, pt.4, pt.5, pt.6, pt.7 here)

37. 15/11/2024, this! the OG hug with Shu Rongbo and Wu Yihan! Back when Shu Rongbo still (attempts to) have canon accurate split bangs and ponytail (unlike now when he has, adorable, messy bangs and a hard-to-spot ponytail), and his jacket still fits lol.

38. 17/02/2024, Cai Qi being a menace at rock paper scissors, Cai Lu being a menace on the sofa (+dog hat), and Wu Yihan being a menace to Hong Guo and they struggle to hold hands?? during curtain call. Also I don't understand why does Wu Yihan look so tiny next to Cai Qi, like? I never thought he was smol before this??

39. 06/01/2024, maybe it's because I was very tired when I found this but Du Guangyi tossing the cushion away like that is exactly my type of humor.

40. 16/02/2024, Let me give you the loudest QL slap you'll ever heard courtesy of Wu Hanglu and Wang Yifei's shoulders. Also, behavior wise Du Guangyi maybe the least LG-like LG actor but god do I like his humor (pls he jumped up the table like a pocong lol, and the way he jump kicked Wang Yifei? He's a Gem.).

(Honestly, I think I can make a whole other list just full of the shit Du Guangyi pulls. He's very mischievous but also giving grandpa. But I won't because @shimmeringweeds is working on a gifset of it <3 Goodluck!!)

41. 21/02/2024, Cai Qi being extra heart hands <3 and Wang Minhui being extra aggressive.

42. 24/02/2024 day, I have nothing to say other than Guo Hongxu is really pretty. No, I cannot explain why i pick this particular clip. Look up stage door pictures from this day too, I swear he's just really pretty on that day.

43. 25/02/2024 day, a second Guo Hongxu clip. Look at him being embarrassed and becoming a loaf.

Counting down to the 100th link click musical performance! These are the official special encore recordings from the musical's weibo acc. So they're modified versions of the actual performance.

Since we're getting into songs outside the usual encore, I'll reference you to this post by @sgdlr-asdfghjkl with lyrics and brief explanation to each song, it's an unofficial transcript but it's the best we currently have.

These first two are "Words Can't Convey My Love" (M07)

44. 20/02/2024, Wang Minhui bets he can confess better than Bai Zhuoming better, sings the confession song and fails miserably. And poor Wu Hanglu accidentally got kicked by Bai Zhuoming.

45. 22/02/2024, You have to watch this one. You have Du Guangyi being the comedic genius that he is, cocky speech, dramatic pause, Lu Guang rizz, pathetic crying, failed confetti. You get the best Wang Yifei outfit, also he's skipping around the stage. And Qian Anqi can't help but laugh too!

46. 23/01/2024, We got "Faith of Friendship" (M05). Teng Chunpeng and Du Guangyi gotta do pushups if they fail to land a shot, and the ending is hilarious, do give it a watch.

*note: You can see how M07 and M05 are actually supposed to go in the bottom of the pt.2 list.

Next two are also of the same song, the extended ver. of the sofa song "Forget About It" (M03). TW: hanging/noose. They take CXS's "I'll hang myself here" joke and put it in the song.

47. 24/02/2024 night, actor/role swap stage! Wu Yihan played CXS, Deng Xianling played LG, and Ding Xingchen played QL. Wu Yihan was definitely having fun howling here. Also, disastrous cast introduction by Ding Xingchen lol.

48. 25/02/2024 day, the actors are the right way around this time with Guo Hongxu, Ji Xiaokun, and Cai Lu. But they're all using different local dialect! You can even see Cai Lu cheats and read from her phone.

49. 25/02/2024 night, "As The Saying Goes" (M08), where mother and son have a quarrel. Cai Qi as CX gets scolded x4 by the rest of the cast as CX's mama. Yes, that includes Wang Minhui putting him in timeout. But there's more!

50. 25/02/2024 night, a very important fancam on the performance above. It's shaky but pls pay close attention to Zhang Jiahao, should be easy, the fancam is focused on him. the wig, the very real fried chicken (i thought it was a fake, it wasn't), he was munching the entire time, and the chair, thank you very much sir. You can even see him offering a bite and getting scolded by Deng Xianling.

(very good, very funny, a very special one fitting for the 50th clip.)

That's all for this list.

Last time I added a bonus clip of Wu Yihan in Love Musical. This time you can have these two bonus clips of Shu Rongbo absolutely slaying it in Hey!Arizona Musical. IDK what it's about but the set and costumes are so damn cool.

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pomefioredove · 7 months ago

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Heyyyy if you are still open to some more matchups can I request a romantic one? You can pick anyone Students, Staff, or RSA/Noble Bell college people, i don't care either way. I really just want to know who you think fits me personality-wise best lol.

Ok, so I guess I’ll tell you my appearance first, I’m 169cm so like 5’6, I’ve got very very curly reddish brown hair, and blue eyes that look purple to gray depending on the light. I have a lot of tattoos. Started with a stick and poke piece when I was 13 and have kept getting them even years later. I joke that instead of a sleeve I have a pair of pants, both my legs are covered in tattoos, one side black and the other color. People always tell me I'm incredibly easy to spot in a crowd. Pronouns are She/Her and my voice is kind of low and monotone maybe a bit husky.

As for hobbies... I love Boxing and MMA, I’ve been doing it competitively for a few years so I can comfortably say I can kick most people's ass. food is a bit of a love language for me so I cook pretty often and try a lot of different cuisines (current fav is Georgian, you have to try Khachapuri it's soooo good). I used to sing and play the drums though it's been a while so I'm probably not too great anymore. You know how some people listen to music for the lyrics while other people listen for the beat? I definitely listen more for the sound, I don't care what the song is about just how the sounds flow together... which is why I mostly listen to music in foreign languages, don't need to understand to lyrics to enjoy the beat.

My interests are mostly low key I like to study languages but I don't really try to become fluent just conversational i guess. I'm more inclined to learn about the aspects of a language than the grammar and stuff. Reading horror and what I like to call weird fiction. I love finding books that are a little odd the best example of this that I can think of is "House of Leaves" by Mark Z. Danielewsk. I really like weird things, normal things that have been a little twisted and made up in new ways if you get what I mean.

As for my personality... ugh I think I'm probably an acquired taste... it sounds bad but like I'm a really difficult person to get close to. I just don't trust easily and I'm not someone who entertains too much small talk without reason. An example is the fact I've known people for five+ years and still don't really consider them friends. Sure we hang out but like they don't know me and I don't know them. I'm just kind of prickly, with a major resting bitch face too. Though to make up for this I'm incredibly loyal. Once we've actually become friends there's nothing I wouldn't do for them. If they need help hiding a body I'm not gonna ask questions just gonna bring a shovel, take out for two, and tickets out of the country.

Oh and a current project of mine is to reverse-engineer a printer so that i can stick it to shitty corporations who think its reasonable to make you pay a subscription to use a printer that I ALREADY PAID FOR!! That last bit was mostly because i need to print out an essay of mine and I had to dust of the printer i haven't used in forever only to be met with a error message saying i had to pay my subscription to use the thing ugghh. So now i need to actually learn how to a soldering gun.

Sorry if my ramblings don't make much sense, I really don't think about myself too much so trying to describe myself was like insanely hard. Thank you!!!!!!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

I match you with 𝐑𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐡𝐢

The First Impression:

Okay. His honest, true, first thought? You smell good. You smell like spices and warmth, so much so that he forgets what he's doing to turn in your direction.

Why He Fell:

"Prickly" and "hard to get close to" aren't terms in Ruggie's dictionary. He would crawl into a sewer if he thought he'd get something worthwhile out of it, and, hey- to him, you're pretty worthwhile!

He may or may not trail behind you like a lost puppy for a little while, at least until you take pity on him and give the poor thing a good meal. But, like with most stray animals, feeding him only brings him back.

Over time (and a few meals), Ruggie starts to bond with you on a more personal level. He'll ask about each of your tattoos, let you ramble to him about whatever it is you're working on, and take little notes on how sharp and crafty you are in the meantime.

The Relationship:

Ruggie has absolutely no shame. Will gladly eat every single thing you make him without even asking what it is, all while dousing you with compliments about it. If making people food is your love language, then eating food is his.

You're just really nice to have around, right? And hey, your beat-em-up skills definitely don't hurt! He's a scrawny guy, he can appreciate standing behind some muscle. He also finds the way you understand sound, in both music and language, to be fascinating, especially considering how sensitive most beastmen's ears are. He can relate to how you describe it.

He's never one to judge, either, so take your time getting comfortable around him! He'd never admit it, but he's pretty much the same way- it takes a lot to actually get his walls down. You can do it together, huh?

#*ੈ✩‧₊˚matchups!#long post

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jackinalex · 1 year ago

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Would love to hear your thoughts on Glitter & Crimson. It’s about Jalex isn’t it

I really gotta stop mentioning things I'm afraid people will latch onto. Sigh. But tbh, I've been wanting an excuse to use my English teacher knowledge to analyze the shit out of that song in particular. If you took an AP English class, you know that it's 90% bullshitting you're way through claims and that is absolutely why I am who I am. This is so fucking long, dude.

I spent an embarrassing amount of time on this. Like I literally printed out the lyrics and annotated it like I was in college. But this is my shit, y’all. I love to analyze things. So, there’s a few different ways that I went about this: what the literary devices mean vs. what Alex (the liar) says the song means vs. the Jalex conspiracy theories that keep me in Delululand. Please scroll on if you don’t want to read about me being delusional about Jalex. Also, the very, very last of this is where we get into the absolute most delusional theory I have, so scroll to the bottom if that’s all you want.

Let’s start off with what Alex has said about the song so that it can provide us at least a little context. Alex told Apple Music: “To me, this song is about two characters who are deeply in love, whose love is not allowed to be that by [a certain] society. They’re gay, and they don’t feel like they’re accepted in their own skin for who they are, or for who they want to love. It’s a cry out to seize that power back and saying, ‘No. You don’t get to dictate how we live our lives.’ Obviously, I can’t speak to that, being a straight guy, but I know a lot of people who live that experience every day. And it was something that felt very meaningful that I wanted to address for them because they can’t [in this way]. They aren’t songwriters.” This is less helpful context-wise, but he also told Kerrang: “This was dramatic to record (laughs). It was one of the last songs we wrote – in fact, it might have been the very last one. The record was almost done, but I felt like there were a couple of missing pieces. We actually went out to Big Bear [Lake, in California] – me, Jack, Zakk and Andrew. We rented a cabin and locked ourselves away for a minute. As we recorded Glitter & Crimson, it was one of those moments where we went, ‘Oh, thank god! We’ve got the thing that we were missing!’ I think the performance in the bridge is me almost knowing that it was the last take. It’s like when the director is about to call, ‘That’s a wrap!’ and everybody is like, ‘Holy shit!’ You feel that swell of relief and appreciation for getting through it.”

Most importantly, during the Wake Up, Sunshine Twitch Listening Party, Alex literally says he wrote G & C about Jack (starts at 1:36:26). Idc if he's joking, bro. It's good enough for me.

I guess the best way to go about the analysis is just to go lyric-by-lyric. Then, I’ll go a bit deeper into more of the bigger symbols. I want to preface this by saying that Alex probably did not mean for a lot of these things to mean what I’ve interpreted them to mean. And when I say I interpreted them, I mainly mean that I took what was given to me and recalled the connotations that these words carry (that was so wordy; idek if that made sense).

It’s a typical story, three in the morning

You’re holding my head.

To me, this seems fairly literal. Sitting with another person at 3 in the morning with them holding your head is really intimate. It could be after sex or just an intense conversation. I think that this is one of the lines that points toward this song being about a gay couple the most. I know he doesn’t specify what gender the couple is, but since Alex simply cannot write a song without inserting himself, I’m guessing they’re dudes. The holding my head kind of gives off that vibe to me, too. Anyone can hold anyone’s head, of course, but something about it just gives me the image of a guy holding a guy’s head. No matter how you spin it (head on the shoulder, head on the lap, etc.) it is super intimate, which means that this is a situation between two people who are very close. It’s vulnerable, too. There’s also the idiom “to hold something over someone’s head,” but I do think that the meaning here is literal. The idiom doesn’t make sense here. We gotta remember that Jack and Alex (and Zakk and Andrew) wrote this song together at a lake house. Every time I hear the opening lines, I think about Jack and Alex being together at 3 am in the lake house in one of those bedrooms, Jack holding Alex’s head. 🥺

Caught in the tension, silent confessions

At the foot of your bed

The tension line could be in reference to the relationship, which we know is not accepted by those around them. It could also just be another reference to sex lol. I’m leaning more toward the former, though. I think the silent confessions depend on where the couple is at in their relationship. If they’re established, I think it’s probably a confession of love (like, we’ve been seeing each other, but I’m actually in love with you). But if it’s in the very early stages, the confession could be the confession of feelings. These two people are really close, so if they’re not yet a couple, then they’re definitely best friends. “At the foot of your bed” makes me think about sex again lol (specifically head because…Yeah).

Glitter and crimson, fighting the friction

What a perfect mess

Glitter and crimson are massive metaphors/symbols in this song, so I’m going to hold off on going too far into that just yet. For now, we can discuss how the two are contrasting. Glitter is pretty and can symbolize the beautiful things in life (it can symbolize a lot of other things, too, which we will get to, promise). Crimson, on the other hand, often represents blood and violence (and a lot of other things, too), so this is one of the first instances of conflicting ideas and feelings. The two ideas come together despite being opposites. “Fighting the friction” could be another reference to tension, whether it’s conflict brought about because of societal pressure, or sexual tension. It could even be both.

While I know that Alex definitely wasn’t trying to reference pride or the history of it, the mention of glitter was an excellent way of doing so. Glitter has a rich history with the LGBT community. It is tied with queer nightlife and the performance arts of drag, burlesque, and cabaret. In the past, it was a way to signal queer identity to other queer people, a practice that some people use to this day. It was also used as a kind of beauty and/or gender defiance when men were ostracized for presenting femininely and women were ostracized for presenting masculinely (Dorwart). Overall, glitter can also symbolize fakeness, materialism, greed, treasure, and excitement. In the instance of the lyric, I tend to think that the glitter is representative of the beauty of the situation, but also having to hide the relationship (the “characters” are being fake by hiding their relationship.

While crimson can symbolize blood, violence, anger, warning or revenge (which is what I believe its main purpose is with the lyric), it can also represent vigor, passion, love, and courage. I definitely think that love and passion are an important part of this, too. Every facet of this relationship is intense, whether it be a negative or positive thing. This is also hedging into Delululand, but crimson (it’s called red in the flag, but the shade is definitely crimson) was one of the colors of the original pride flag, representing life. I’m certain that Alex was not thinking of the pride flag when he wrote this song, but there are so many references that he did accidentally that this song could be a gay anthem tbh.

With the “perfect mess�� line, Alex has given us an oxymoron and another example of contrast. The two words are technically opposites, but when they come together, they create a new meaning. In the narrative, this refers to the relationship feeling so good and right to the guys, but not allowed by society, those around them, and even maybe themselves. If we look at it through a Jalex lens, the “mess” could easily be the conflict between them having feelings for one another and the pressures of the band and their friendship (a very classic fanfic trope for a good reason). There’s a lot to lose if things don’t work out, so there’s a very real question of whether pursuing a relationship is worth it. As we’ll get to later, it definitely seems like it is to them.

I wonder if you feel kinda like I feel

Temporary

These lines feel fairly literal to me. To feel temporary means to feel impermanent or uncertain. I think that both could be prevalent here. I also think that those feelings pertain to both the relationship and just their lives in general. It feels like the relationship can’t last because that’s what society tells them, and the uncertainty comes from not knowing if they even want it to (because they too are influenced by society). Alex has always written a lot about existentialism and these two lines strongly evoke that concept (which, to me, is more proof of the song being written from his perspective vs some “character” but we’ll get into more instances of that later).

Fixed on a moment just out of focus

And we can’t quite see

Being us ain’t good for us

I put these three lines together because they finish out the first verse and because there is significant enjambment, too. The first line is literal in the sense that the two characters (air quotes) in the song are trying to imagine what a good life together could be like, but they’re struggling too because that future seems so impossible (as we see with the second line). However, “and we can’t quite see” also brings into the second idea here. They can’t see the future and it also seems like being themselves and together isn’t good for them (probably because it’s dangerous for a lot of queer people in the world, even still). That leads us into the chorus, which is where we get to the cry out of the chorus.

And I don’t wanna wait till the sunshine fades

And bury our love in a shallow grave

Sunshinesymbolized happiness and life, so by the sunshine fading, that has to do with the beauty and goodness of the relationship wearing off (whether that be due to societal pushback or just conflict between the two guys). Sunshine is also what the yellow represented on the original pride flag. Again, I do not think that Alex ever intentionally referenced the flag, but…Anyway, it could also just be a little wink to the album itself “Wake Up Sunshine” or the song on the album. That song is also about existentialism to a certain extent, though it’s directed toward someone else and not about the narrator’s issues with it. Meanwhile, typically, shallow graves are done hastily by criminals (not always, but that’s what it is most associated with) because they don’t take much time or effort to dig. Alex (and Jack; Jesus, I keep forgetting he helped write this song) probably chose to pair these two lines because they almost have the same amount of syllables (11 vs. 10), but it’s also possible that he chose this specific phrase because being gay was a criminal offense for years. A shallow grave also indicates urgency and haphazardness, which would mean that the burial would probably be unplanned and quick. The narrator (Alex) is clear about not wanting that.

Cause the world could be cruel to us or

We could live for the dangerous so

Let’s start, let’s start a riot

Just like a few lines ago, I included these three together for the enjambment. The first line is straightforward, supporting the idea of society being unaccepting to the couple. When we put it with the second line, it’s reiterating that though the world is cruel, they could live for it instead of being afraid of it. When we pair the second line with the third, the narrator is saying that he wants to stop being afraid and instead embrace and fight for what he and his lover have. It is impossible for me to ignore the term “riot” being used here in a queer context because the first pride was a riot! I’m sure most of you know about the Stonewall riots, but if not, here’s a bit of background: there was a small dive bar in NYC called the Stonewall Inn, which LGBT+ frequented. In an article entitled "The First Pride Was a Riot: The Origins of Pride Month” for American University Washington DC, Patty Housman writes:

At the time there existed outdated “masquerade” or “cross-dressing” laws that suggested a “man” or a “woman” must be wearing a certain number of clothing items that matched the gender on their state-issued ID. The police took advantage of these laws to raid drinking establishments and arrest transgender and gender non-conforming individuals. Just after midnight on June 28, 1969, the police raided the Stonewall Inn like they had many times before. Only, this time, something unusual happened: Stonewall patrons fought back.

There are conflicting stories about what actually happened, but essentially queer people fought back against the police brutality that had been plaguing them for quite some time. They were targeted, attacked, humiliated, arrested, and even worse, and they were fed up. Since this event took place in June, we now celebrate in America every June. And again, I’m sure that Alex and Jack didn’t intend to reference Stonewall, but I’m deep into queer theory now, so there’s no going back. Sometimes meanings can appear in works without the original composer even realizing it. Long story short, the riot is a way to take power back, whether it be the metaphorical riot in this song or the proverbial riots at Stonewall. And since this is supposed to be a queer song that references a riot, Stonewall must be discussed.

Hard to sit still when your head’s on fire

Oh, oh yeah

The saying “my head’s on fire” means that one is stressed or overwhelmed. However, “your head’s on fire” indicates that someone is lying. Therefore, I think this line has a dual meaning. I think that it references both here because a) the narrator is frustrated with having to hide his love from society, but it can also indicate that they’ve been lying (i.e, hiding their relationship). “Hard to sit still” calls back to the riot idea. It can be difficult to sit idly by when you know for sure that something is wrong. The narrator is tired of sitting around and hiding their relationship.

‘Cause I’m a supernova

And you’re my four leaf clover

These two symbols are the most important (besides glitter and crimson) in the entire song. This is entirely metaphor; there’s nothing literal in these two lines. The narrator compares himself to a supernova, which is the greatest explosion humans have ever seen. They are the “extremely bright and super powerful explosion of a star.” Supernovas signify destruction and renewal, so the narrator is seeking a new beginning of some sort. On the other hand, four-leaf clover have always symbolized luck, but they can also represent protection and the uncommon. Traditionally, each leaf of a four leaf clover signified something different: hope, faith, luck, and charity. Therefore, the narrator sees his lover as somewhat of a good luck charm. He’s different from others, but he’s everything to the narrator.

This is where I get the most Delulu, so just keep that in mind as you’re reading. I’m now going to argue that the supernova represents Alex and the four-leaf clover represents Jack. I’m not pulling this completely out of my ass, I promise. Alex is obsessed with space. He brings it up every chance he gets and if you listened to Full Frontal, you know how annoying it could get lmao. Point is, the man loves some fucking space, okay? To Alex, Jack has always represented goodness. Nothing sums it up better than his birthday post for him here. He literally sees him as a “bright light in this weird world” and loves him “times a million.” But there’s been countless instances of Alex singing Jack’s praises (and even more of Jack singing Alex’s). This last tour, Jack’s been spending every moment trying to make Alex happy and keep him laughing, and ya know, Alex can lie all he wants and say that “Kill Ur Vibe” isn’t about Jack, but it absolutely fucking is, even if he doesn’t know that. Alex sees himself as a supernova and Jack as a four-leaf clover. Jack is not only a rarity, but also just a constant sign of goodness in Alex’s life and that, my dudes, is fucking beautiful.

There is also a specific species of clover called crimson clover. I doubt that Alex thought about this while they were writing this song, but when I started working on this analysis, it occurred to me that I’d heard the two phrases before in a Lana del Rey song. And if you guys know Jack, he loves Lana. In “Venice Bitch,” she has a line that says, “Me myself, I like diamonds//My baby crimson and clover.” This line is a reference to the song “Crimson & Clover” by Tommy James and the Shondells. It’s a song about the potential for loving someone and what a relationship could be. I don’t know if there was any thinking about this song during the writing of G & C, but it’s interesting how the two songs are essentially about the same thing (just in different contexts). G & C is about the potential for loving someone and what a relationship could be, but through a more cynical lens (at first). The use of the ampersand in both songs is curious, too. I don’t doubt that Alex is aware of this song, but I don’t know that it had much of an influence on it. I do love the idea that Alex wrote about crimson and clover in the same song for Jack (who loves Lana) or even that it was Jack’s idea in the first place. It’s just cute.

Crimson clover doesn’t have a ton of ideas associated it with it, but some people tend to see it as a sign of growth, resilience, love, and affection. The latter two are probably related to it being red and I would assume that the Tommy James and the Shondells song helped with that connotation, too. It’s the growth and resilience that really intrigues me, though. They grow throughout the winter, which is fascinating and definitely lets that resilience ring true. If we’re to link those concepts to the song, the narrator believes that their relationship is resilient and growing, maturing in a way that it necessary for them to thrive. Winter can symbolize hard, rough times, and so the narrator views their relationship as troubled (whether it be because of the way they’re viewed or because of their own issues), but resilient and able to survive the difficult times.

Time to stop being insane about the last two lines and get into the second verse and bridge.

Heavy as ever, light as a feather

I’m caught in between

“Light as a feather” is a common idiom (and synonym) for having very light weight and/or being light and free. Here, the narrator is contrasting the feeling of being free and light because they’re so happy with their lover with the fact that he also feels “heavy,” which means hard to endure or emotionally taxing. When used literally, heavy refers to something being hard to carry because of its weight. So while the narrator is happy, he is also sad and probably anxious and unsure because of the oppression he and his lover are facing. The second line is telling us that verbatim; he is torn between focusing on being happy with his lover and the negative feelings associated with their sexualities and relationship.

Hard to stay focused, process the progress

How long can we be

Happy if happy ain’t meant for us

This calls back to the lines before it. Again, it’s hard for the narrator to focus on how happy the relationship makes him because of how bad society and oppression makes him feel. “Process the progress” probably means that it’s difficult for him to focus on how much their relationship has grown because of how anxious he also is. Progress is also a term used frequently with LGBTQ+ issues. We use “progress” to describe how things have improved for queer folks in the last few decades. I think the narrator could be referring to that, as well, that it’s hard to look at how much progress has been made as a society when things are still bad (especially for trans folks). The second and third lines see the narrator expressing his anxiety again. Yes, he’s very happy with his lover, but society is constantly telling him that they won’t work out, and he’s worried that some part of that is right.

Cause being less ain’t good enough

But being us feels good to us

To be less means not as good or esteemed as someone else. In this sense, I take it as the narrator saying that he has been suppressing part of himself (his sexuality and relationship), since to suppress part of yourself makes you “less,” in a way (I hope that makes sense). Essentially, if you’re not presenting all of yourself, part of you is missing, hence “less.” The narrator says that being less isn’t good enough, which I take as meaning that not being their full, authentic selves is not enough, and by enough, he means he doesn’t want to settle for hiding their relationship in the way that they have been. And besides, with the line, “being us feels good to us,” the narrator is expressing that being with his lover feels right despite all of the anxiety he feels.

I’m skipping the chorus, obviously, so let’s get into the bridge.

No compromise, no second best

There’s no stopping now, this weight on my chest

This is the beginning of the cry out in which the couple takes their power back. No compromise means no more suppressing themselves, which reminds me a lot of the old idea of gay people being allowed to exist and be with their partners at home and in LGBT+ spaces, but nowhere else. The narrator is saying that he’s not doing this anymore. This could be what “second best” is, whereas the best situation would be where they are accepted and allowed to be themselves everywhere, though I do wonder if second best could also refer to the concept of “playing straight,” which is where queer people date only people of the opposite sex in order to fit societal norms. People have historically done this to stay alive. It’s not as common anymore, but it’s definitely something that still happens. This could be a reference to the men dating (or even marrying) women in order to hide their sexuality and not ruffle society’s feathers.

The narrator is putting an end to whatever the compromise and second best are, though. He’s going to be open and honest with himself, his lover, and the world, and that’s what the “no stopping now” refers to. He’s done pretending and making himself lesser to make other people comfortable. “The weight on my chest” is the huge uncertainty and anxiety of his relationship. He’s getting rid of it. It could also be anticipation, though, which would be the anticipation of taking his power back. It’s an important, hard thing that is going to change the course of his life forever.

I won’t settle down, won’t settle for less

I won’t settle for less, I won’t settle for less

I think this is pretty literal. The narrator is not going to sit down and be quiet (and thus, hide his authentic self), and he’s not going to settle for anything but being his authentic self. I do think that the “won’t settle down” could be read as an allusion to Stonewall, since the queer folks that protested those three days were constantly told to just calm down for many years before they finally fought back. “Settle down” could also be a reference to playing straight since settling down often entails getting married to someone of the opposite sex and having children (*I look into the camera like I’m on a mockumentary*). This could also mean that the narrator is not going to be with a woman to appease society. They utilize parallelism (and thusly, repetition) here. Repetition is almost always utilized to emphasize a feeling or idea, create rhythm, and/or develop a sense of urgency. I definitely believe that the use of repetition here is used for emphasis. Not settling is an important theme of the song. Parallelism is also used to create emphasis, but also to create flow between lines, which is always necessary for songs. I’m sure there’s probably more literary devices in the song, but I doubt you guys want me to go too much farther into that lol.

To sum up, the song is rich with metaphors and allusions (even if Alex wasn’t aware of the latter when they were writing it). I think it has the potential of being a great queer anthem. I don’t know that it will ever become that, but all of these possible references to pride and Stonewall are so fucking good (even if it’s just from happenstance). This may make me totally fucking insane, but I can’t ignore the fact that Alex wrote this song with Jack at a cabin in Big Bear, the album was released, and then like eight months later, Alex and Lisa were split up. Then, like another month passed, and Alex was living with Jack. I’m aware that I’m delusional, but this isn’t even me speculating; I’m just reporting events in the order they happened. Take that as you will.

Works Cited

Dorwart, Laura. “Inside the Fascinating History of Glitter and Gay Culture.” Byrdie, 15 February 2022. https://www.byrdie.com/history-of-glitter.

Patty Housman. “The First Pride Was a Riot: The Origins of Pride Month.” American University Washington D.C.,10 June 2022.

“What Is a Supernova?” NASA, NASA, 23 July 2021, spaceplace.nasa.gov/supernova/en/.

#please forgive me for taking forever #also this is not proofread bc like #i'm lazy #anyway? i hope y'all can get some kind of enjoyment out of this?#kalina answers #jalex #jack #alex #glitter & crimson #wake up sunshine

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beevean · 11 months ago

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Ranking Hazbin Hotel songs (ep. 1-4)

Just elaborating on my opinions on the music so far. To be honest, I'm not too keen on the forced quota of two songs per episode, but what salvages it is that the compositions and voices are high quality. The best songs do also a great job in the characterization department, and they've been stuck in my head for a while now lol.

8) Hell is Forever

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I don't like Charlie's singing. Not because she's a bad singer, I don't like how she's treated as a joke, and I don't like her cheap Disney parody style. This is even worse because by plot reasons she has to sing super fast about concepts we already know about. It's unpleasant to the ear.

And Adam. ugh. I hate Adam. His verse is actually not that bad! I like how he introduces another obstacle to Charlie's plan: the man has (by his own admission, which is a bit lazy) a black and white view of the situation, and he refuses to accept any redeemed soul in Heaven. And the rock style is good too. Just. I hate him. I hate his fratboy personality. I hate his voice until he finally takes it seriously. He ruins a perfectly nice solo. Gah.

7) Happy Day in Hell

Again. I don't like how Charlie is treated as a joke even by the narrative. I also am confused as to how we're meant to see Charlie singing as something silly she does in-universe, when then everyone else sings and they're taken seriously. Anyway, this is a generic "yep everything will be just fine" song, because get it she's in Hell, and get it things will not be fine! My Little Pony had a similar joke ages ago, and it was mercifully shorter.

At least it sounds good, because Charlie has a nice voice, and I like the jazzier finale.

6) It Starts With Sorry

Forgettable. I have nothing to say about it.

5) Whatever it Takes

A nice ballad shared between one of the protagonists and a character that has been just introduced. I am intrigued by the parallels between Vaggie and Carmilla, but that's about it. I don't think this scene needed to be put into song, which emphasizes how the quota of two songs per episode was unnecessary. Carmilla's VA is also better with a bombastic voice than with a slow ballad. (nothing to say about Vaggie, she sounds lovely)

4) Respectless

While it shares the previous song's problem of being kind of unnecessary, this one is at least boppy and interesting. I like how the style changes to reflect the singers' personalities, from Carmilla's more proper Latin instrumentation to Velvette's modern pop. Some of Velvette's lyrics are just terrible ("bae"? in 2024? 😭), but she picks up in the second half where she shows her true intelligence. Also both of them have nice voices.

3) Stayed Gone

A delightful, jazzy, and most importantly salty duet between Vox and Alastor! Not only it's very fun to sing, it does a great job at presenting the characters: Vox is a fast smooth-talker, but his anti-Alastor propaganda comes off as desperate, and he crumbles quickly under Alastor's timeless charm who doesn't even try that hard to paint Vox as an insecure clout-chaser. The bookend is also done well, with Vox attempting to sound menacing, but Alastor straight up sounding like a predator stalking their prey. The song establishes their rivarly in an entertaining way and only gives us the breadcrumbs to explain to us what happened between them, keeping the intrigue.

(also I can't get enough of Alastor saying "and now he's pissy, that's the tea :D" just to mock Vox' obsession with modernity. he's so sassy lol)

2) Loser, Baby

Alternative title: media literacy test :P

While I think I prefer Stayed Gone musically, this is just a wholesome scene... as much as it doesn't look like at first lol. It pulls all the weight to show Husk's inner depths: he's old enough, wise enough, and empathetic enough to know that the Charlie approach (being endlessly optimistic and kind) doesn't work on someone like Angel, who 5 minutes prior was willing to get himself rape drugged in a self-harming act. So he hits him with a double whammy of brutal honesty ("yes, you're a loser, you suck, your situation is terrible") and simple support ("but you're not the only one, I suck too, I like you the way you are and you can at least be miserable with me").

And this is important for Angel, who has a very skewed view of himself after all the abuse he went through. When he says that he's a loser and a dummy, and jokes about not having more holes to deflower, he's casting away the bravado that he uses to hide his pain. It's the first step to accept himself as he is, knowing that at least someone out there can appreciate him for who he is, and not just what he can give. It's beautiful.

Also Keith David <3 the contrast between his low smooth voice and Blake Roman's higher pitch <3 (and once again, "you're a power bottom at rock bottom" cracks me up)

1) Poison

Oh this has been my obsession ever since I found it. It's so good. The layers. The rhythm. The voice. I love it so much! 💖

I've always liked Addict for the contrast between the poppy music and the miserable lyrics, but its spiritual successor goes above and beyond. What a perfect inlook into Angel's broken spirit. He blames himself for the hell he's stuck in, and doesn't expect to break free soon. He's aware that Valentino only feeds him poison (lies? beatings? fake love?), but Angel is addicted to it and can't get away from him, so he willingly poisons himself and convinces himself that it's what he wants after all - it was his choice, after all. He likes it, right? He gets wasted like there's no tomorrow because he has no reason to live another day. It's terrible! And yet the song is so catchy and fun to sing, and it has probably the most interesting rhymes so far. It's the only song I genuinely wish it was longer.

And the visuals only help <3 I can't get enough of Angel dancing, either chained to Valentino and smiling even as he's thrown on the floow, or alone, pretending to be sexy and confident but then cowering at Valentino's sight. Abuse romanticism my entire ass, it's a more nuanced look on the dynamics of abuse than many other works I've seen.

And Angel's broken voice at the end destroys my heart :) Blake Roman, guys.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #just sharing my opinions so far #probably easier than talking about the episodes in general lol

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a-whispering-echo · 2 months ago

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sometimes, for fun, i translate vocaloid songs into english singable lyrics, so heres a few of the starts of some of them, i wanna know if you can tell WHICH song they are!

dont judge them TOO hard. each song id in a differnt colour/style thing lol

Under the street, a shit pub lies flush with fools, pretending they’re wise full of those to lead you astray and of those who want to be used that way One more Shitty cheap bourbon it seems to taste just like you cant change for a better version and the drinks are still far too few To slay their sorrow when you can’t start life anew, and to fill up the void, they’ll turn to one more brew, My money, time and even my liver too its all for you, my dear if you’ll stay right here

Is malice what comes from your so-called meta-thinking? evilness looking down at us all unblinking it must be hard to live when you’re so unthinking When your hope slowly withering and shrinking, pretending that you’re god while denying everything ‘bout him Afool that truly thinks they’re the king a patronising prayer to hide your own self-loathing Do you know?

doesn’t matter how high i aim, when the outcome always seems stays the same, I can’t keep doing this when my self worth is dependent on a number

and i’ve already come to hate my life,

so, i think i’ll restart it all

i do my best to not trust anyone, care or alltogether expect anything still, i try not to cause conflict, or stand out, they dont care to know me

i try not to hurt anyone, bully anyone, or at all cause pain still trying not letting my hipocrasy show, or come of as vain

do not forget to throw in a joke and some smooth talk here and there, and most importantly, smile and please everybody

#rue rambles

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yuukei-yikes · 2 years ago

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REASONS TO LOVE SHINTARO AS A CHARACTER:

first of all; hes a gamer boy depicted as he really is and not what he thinks he is: a fucking loser who fails at every social situation and also stinks

aside from the jokes, i think he has two main songs in the whole series: toumei answer and lost time memory. im just gonna share lyrics from each song that makes me go INSANE thinking about him:

"The alarm that starts ringing/Says to my lonely self: you're a coldhearted fool" <- his guilt here is delicious to me like he blames himself for her death and yes he did act shitty and he abandoned her but he didnt do it out of malice he did it bc he didnt know how to approach her but he thinks he killed her and its also killing him OUGH

"The color of your hair/The shape of your smile/Someone might have already forgotten it" <- and then HES the one who forgets everything about ayano bc of the trauma like here he laments that her absence that has already changed his entire world might be this insignificant to someone else AND YET AND YET HIS MIND LOCKS HER OUT ITS JUST. OUGH

(NOT TO MENTION HIS FACIAL EXPRESSION WHEN HE SEES THE FLOWERS WHEN HE REALIZES WHEN HE SEES THE PAPER CRANE)

(get ready for lost time memory brainrot bc that kills me every fucking time its my fav song)

"Even after years, the shadow doesn't fade/It only invites more emotions." <- he doesnt remember but the absence is heavy on his mind it KILLS me

"If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward/I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead." <- self destructive EVEN in the good route where hes not as suicidal like being self deprecating is a huge part of his brain

"Feeling hazy, let's remain unaffected today too/And keep up yesterday's pace/So that I won't ever forget your warmth/If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then/I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from" <- GOING INSANE GOING FERAL hes SO FULL OF REGRET and hes SUCH A STUPID BITCH that his solution is to stay in his own head and live in his dreams (literally) like i want to hug him and i want to slap him

"A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again/While clinging on to your colorful smile" <- just imagining how route X shintaro is often colored with black and dull colors bc his world has lost the color OUGH

(god just. the ending part where he desperately reaches out to clutch ayano vs him moving on from the tragedy and the proud and tearful smile of ayano just HNNGGH HE REALLY GREW DIDNT HE)

(and who cant relate to wanting to change things bc u lost ur chance before but u cant change anything so u just disappear into ur head trying to either comfort urself by daydreaming or trying to find other stuff, try to forget ur will and wallow in passivity, its just so *chefs kiss*)

i get it hes not a very likable person and he does act shitty and bratty and the anime really doesnt give him the floor to change BUT!!! give him a chance and he WILL become ur poor little meow meow. guaranteed.

reply under read more cuz this should be its own post!! and also all i gotta say is YESSSS YEEEES YESSSSS shintaro is. such a good character and i also wanna cry my eyes out with EVERYTHING abt lost time memory.

he's just a stupid guy and the thing abt shintaro is that he will ALWAYS do what's right. he has a very strong sense of justice and he's very clear on his principles. and he will always speak up for others and stand up for what he thinks is right. and this like... a HILARIOUS virtue for a character who is ALSO so awkward, difficult to approach, bratty and self centered. like that's so funny.he is such a special little guy and HE IS AWESOME

he's so cringe fail and an asshole but he's also the hero and deserves praise for it. like cry about it. he is a good guy but he's also the worst. but also he's the best. hope that helps

he and ayano are such character foils... like.... both have this strong sense of justice and they're really really REALLY the damn heroes. hold on i need to cry a little

#ask tag #shintaro kisaragi

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saint-starflicker · 1 year ago

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Spring Awakening Fandom Tag

(By @winter-asleepening )

1. How were you introduced to the show?

2007(?) OBC sountrack on compact disk gift from a friend.

2. Seen a production live?

My honest answer is going to get me in trouble around Question 17, isn't it.

3. Dream role/character you relate to most

Ilse Neumann.

4. Favorite male character

Moritz.

5. Favorite female character

Ilse. Is that redundant with Question 3? Martha, then.

6. Deaf West Revival or Original Broadway Cast?

The OBC soundtrack got me through a very rough time in my life, but as far as the cast goes I'm going to say the Deaf West revival cast. I'm glad it was revived, I'm glad that cast is cast in that cast, and I'm glad they're the introduction for a new generation of Guilty Ones.

7. Favorite song

I love them all equally.

8. Least favorite song

...I don't care for Mirror Blue Night.

9. Favorite quote/line

I'm more of a melody person than a lyrics person.

10. Favorite TV performance

Deaf West Touch Me THEY TURNED INTO A BOAT

11. Favorite cast member(s)

I don't really play favorites with cast members, I just try to find what each new actor brings into the role.

12. Favorite cast member moment

I don't really follow the behind the scenes anecdotes either, but Jonathan Groff forgetting the lyrics to Left Behind except for "all things" is as inspirational as it is horrific to imagine going through. If he can get through that and live to tell the tale, then I can get through a bad day.

Also every time Michael Arden says, "All my best ideas come from [ Andy Mientus ]" is like d'aww they're cute together.

13. Do you write fan fiction?

In this fandom, no, I'm more of a reader.

14. Do you make fan art?

I could.

15. Do you cosplay?

Not really...I don't like the late 19th century fashions? I'm more of a Merveilleuse type (no bra no corset just Spirit Halloween chiton).

16. Don’t do Sadness or Blue Wind?

Those are two halves of a whole song!

17. Word of your body or the Reprise?

OBC I did not like the Reprise because even through the Discman (... that's a Walkman for CD's) I had the sense that it was a "comic relief" moment that relied on the existence of gay boys as the joke.

The Deaf West production kept a sense of respite and relief, and some comedy in the relationship dynamic between Ernst and Hanschen rather than playing on preexisting stereotypes...even though it didn't change a word of the script in that scene, which is amazing on a text analysis level like what happened who used the Captain Planet power ring with the power of heart in this scene, what sorcery is this?

So it depends, because the non-reprise Word of Your Body does a narrative job—Melchior haters can feel free to hate, but I can understand what the musical version was trying to go for with his character, and Word of Your Body was part of that.

Groff's Melchior came off more smarter-and-better-than-you but sort of giving up his pretensions in the process of seduction, and I can understand why that aspect might look appealing.

Doyle's Melchior doesn't have that "he's a ruthless boy but maybe i can change him"—I think he plays Melchior as more sad and desperate, and putting that energy into studying is how his Melchior thinks he gets a handle on his own feelings.

McKenzie's Melchior is an oafish, bookish 14-year-old boy trying to act smooth as he condescends to a Deaf girl. He has as much primal sexual energy as a newborn beagle puppy, which to be clear is none at all. I think that can be endearing, that he doesn't really know what he's blathering about in terms of life experience.

Wendla's a consistent constant performance-wise, all three versions I think balance out to a constant average...so it's really the Reprise that determines which one I like better.

OBC Reprise was very much worse than OBC Word of Your Body...but, Deaf West Reprise was a little better than Deaf West Word of Your Body and a lot better than the OBC Reprise. But I like the OBC Word of Your Body better than the Deaf West Reprise, at the same time that I like the Deaf West Word of Your Body an equal amount as the OBC Word of Your Body, contextualized comparatively being different than the chronological context that defines its vibe in an individual show's run time.

18. Touch Me or My Junk?

My Junk as a tune — but the Deaf West Touch Me did turn everybody into a boat, that was kinda cool.

19. Explain the song of purple summer.

Ilse recovered from her trauma and now owns her sexual identity, despite the history of everyone in her home and community doing their worst to her in ways that directly targeted that very intimate part of her. Her story is not the main plot of the show, but the fact that she survived and found personal definition means she now has her own voice on which to carry the wisdom of her life. That will be what heals and inspires others. Red or pink sunsets plus blue evenings make the sky in summer purple. At the end of the day, there still is beauty in living.

20. Explain the song of purple summer (wrong answers only)

Butterflies scatter ergot fungus while they fly around, so everybody thinks that everything looks purple this summer. The sky is purple. The rain is purple. The corn is purple. The horses are purple. The fungus is eating everybody's brains. They're all going to die.

#springawakeningfandomtag #springawakeningfantag #Spring Awakening #musical theater #dark academia

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photogirl894 · 9 months ago

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Hi lovely!!!!!

For the song ask game!

7, 30, 22, 20!

Thank you, darling!!

7. Three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved

This is also partially due to the fact that I wasn't interested in Arcane for a while, but eventually I gave it a shot and man, I loved the show! Then the song itself grew on me, too 😊

This is one my husband listened to (its a fan song for Hazbin Hotel) and I thought it was creepy at first. But then the more I heard it, I thought it was kinda catchy and it grew on me even before I later watched the show

This started out as more of a joke because of one line in this song that when I first heard it I went, "Wait.......WHAT?!?! Did I hear that right??" It plays in a movie I saw called Dancin' It's On (which is one of those "it's so bad, it's funny" movies) and I didn't take the song seriously, but then when I looked it up later, I actually really liked it! It's catchy and it sounds similar to other songs I like. Ironically enough, it ended up being my #1 played song on my Spotify Wrapped for 2023 😅🤣 There are alternate lyrics for the one line that made me do a double take, but even then, the line itself is just funny. If you wanna know what it is...give it a listen and I'm sure you'll catch it 😉😉

30. Three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

This Two Steps From Hell song is incredibly gorgeous and I seriously think everyone should hear it!!

This one is super beautiful and has very uplifting and inspiring lyrics. Some of them are a little strange, but it's only a couple of them. I've been listening to this one for years and it helps me a lot 💜

I've posted things from Gentri before and this song is my absolute FAVORITE of theirs! Very incredible melody and orchestral sound and the lyrics are also amazing and inspiring! This one gives me a lot of hope and love for life!

22. Three songs you listen to when you’re sad

This is my #1 go to when I'm sad because it's just impossible to be sad when listening to this. It just sounds like home to me 💜 even my husband knows playing this song when I'm sad or upset will help me and he'll play it for me often 🥰

I mean...need I say more? 😉🥰

This is the theme of my favorite character in my favorite anime, Fairy Tail 😊

20. Three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one

Gaaahh, I know we've shared songs before, but I can't think of any of them at the moment 😅😅

Because your profile picture is Toothless and this is the best piece of music from that movie 💜

I'm at my audio file limit now, so I'll just post the rest as hyperlinks 😝😝

"Valinor" from "Rings of Power"

We discussed this scene of Galadriel on the boat to Valinor the other day and how beautiful it was!

"May It Be" from "Lord of the Rings" by Enya

Because we both love Lord of the Rings 💜

“The Three Songs” ask set

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aishathevar · 1 year ago

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MERROCK TASK #13 SHORT & SWEET

♥ What is your favorite book from childhood?: "Sarah Dessen was literally everything to me growing up. She's where my romance origin story began and I'd check all her books out from the library until I bought them myself. They weren't the best looking back, but thirteen-year-old me would probably fight me if she heard me say that." ღ Do you own an item that comforts you when you’re sad?: "A handmade knit blanket I got from a friend a few years ago. It is probably the nicest gift I've ever received." ✿ What makes you happy?: "The little things. Sunny mornings I can sit outside to drink my tea, flowers on my nightstand, finding a new song. It's hard for me not to be happy about things." ♛ What are three things you like about yourself?: "Just three? Okay, I suppose I'll narrow it down. My unwavering optimism, my sense of style, and my kindness." ☾ Which season is your favorite?: "Summer. There's nothing better than spending time by the beach, or bonfires spent chatting with friends and roasting s'mores on a warm night." † Do you believe in the supernatural? "Kind of? I mean I would straight up deny it if you asked me it in public, but there are definitely other forces at play." ♪ Name a song that has a deeper meaning to you.: "Muna's song "Kind of Girl". It's a very pretty song but they really called me out with the lyricism. It's like they wrote it specifically for me." Ⓒ What do you think about social media?: "Wouldn't it be wild if I said I hated it? It's a big part of my job, and I think it's useful to grow brands and increase the visibility of small businesses. And from a personal standpoint, I do enjoy it, especially Instagram. I keep in touch with many of my childhood friends through there, but I do spend a little more time than I'd like to admit on it." ꕤ What would be your dream job?: "I don't dream of work...just kidding. Jokes aside, I'd say a travel journalist. Going to explore new places and different perspectives and writing about them sounds almost too good to be true." ☼ Name three things you don’t leave the house without.: "One of my many tote bags, obviously. A pair of headphones, plus a backup pair in case the first one breaks. (I cannot romanticize my walk home without music). And a sweater because I am always cold." ❧ What is your favorite comfort food?: "Grilled cheese. Very basic, but it's also literally fool-proof to make hence why I picked it." ⤷ Are you an active person? / What do you do to stay active?: "Not as much as I'd like. I do like my neighborhood walks, or going on the treadmill at the gym, but I do more to stay active during the summer." ★ Name your three biggest inspirations (people-wise).: "I'd say my parents and my brother." ✘ What is currently your favorite airing show?: "Because I am a reality TV girlie, I'd say Below Deck. There's nothing better than unwinding after a long week with some boat drama and picturesque settings." ✈ If you had to go anywhere right now, where would you go?: "Oh man, this is a tough question. I've seen some amazing places in my life but still didn't get around to seeing everything. Maybe somewhere warm? The Maldives maybe? Or wait no, maybe Hawaii? Okay, I can't decide. Ask me again later and maybe I'll have an answer."

#merrocktask #/ short and sweet means nothing to her #/ if aisha's going to do one thing it's overshare #/ will be back later to work on replies! <3

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biggreenstache7 · 1 year ago

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thoughts and feelings about the halloween specials?

not sure if this is like, thoughts on spooktacular as a concept as a whole (which i guess can be summed up as "used to be my favorite thing on the channel, slowly losing interest") or on all of them as a whole, so i'm just going to uhhhhhhhhh. yeah

Spooktacular i - obviously it's not amazing because it's the first one and in that sense also falters story-wise but like. dude it's so much better than anything else on the channel in 2016. it feels like during that one week break something clicked and the channel stopped being mid (the last few rips before title theme and ending were also p solid but the stuff before that. yeeeeeaaaahhhh) it was cool that that was woody's first main appearance. also the album art had no right being that good. otherwise its mostly ok yea that sure is the first one

Spooktacular ii - uhhh feature presentation is a little silly i like it but it's also. yeahhh. what was the deal with them putting woodman like that. and otherwise it was mostly just spooktacular 1..... 2

2018 skip because nothing happened. uh i guess the rips were good. same old

Spooktacular iii - Lol. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah this is one of my favorite things on the channel in general. I could talk about it for ages. It's so awesome and i think it will quite literally never be beat, atleast in terms of spooktaculars. the writing is a little stupid but it GETS GOOFY WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S SO STUPIDLY CHARMING!!!!!!!! IT'S A WHOLE EPISODE and the amount of time put into it is so clear. i love the original song with lyrics in it so much i ripped it. IT'S EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm sure if it didn't exist i would probably be a different person. AND IT WILL NEVER BE BEAT. whatever. the rips are like the same as usual but that DAMN MURDER NOT TOO NICE! whatever. whatever. 4/10

Spooktacular iv - uhhh it was fine. i really wish they did more with the theming it felt kinda like missed potential but atleast the banner was AWESOME one of my favorite banners on the channel ever. shoutouts to this one for being like the only one that actually ends on halloween. also the moment the yankin takeover happened i pointed out this video and like asked if she was the like fallen angel or whatever mentioned in it BEFORE curse of the fallen angel was even announced. kind of badass of me. otherwise yeah kinda nothing

spooktacular v - it's fun! i liked cotfa, it didnt take itself very seriously but it was enjoyable to listen through. kinda an initial highlight to me of my main problems with siiva writing as a whole but the fact it was an audiostory worked in its favor and the dynamic between the 3 main characters was fun. halloween events need to stop lasting so long though like, the fuck do you mean this went on until november 13th?!?!?

spooktacular vi - it's fun i guess, but not much more than that. i liked the videos, they were goofy, david s pumpkins is a fun thing to have as the reocurring joke, but it was clearly not something that was given much thought and a result kinda blends in my head as "A spooktacular" i appreciate the mspaint videos existing though. but yeah it's. just "tradition" at this point

spooktacular vii - god i wish i actually cared at this point dude. it's not bad at all and i'm sure the music stuff is fun but lore has been gone for like, almost a year and now that it's back it's just. a little nothingburger? i have a lot of small complaints i could make about the story this year but i just can't really bother anymore. it's fine. this is all fine! i'm losing my capacity to care about this channel and it's all okay. takane is a nothing protagonist on her own. the writing is kinda subpar at worst and average at best. all of it feels completely like missed potential. nothing about it feels like, yknow, siivagunner. and i cant even be bothered to care anymore (i just skimmed through the last 2 videos). idk man. it's not "bad" in the slightest but a lot of aspects of it represent things and quirks about the writing on this channel ive never really cared about. i think maybe 5 years of being into something and having it never really do anything for you might be doing something to me to the point where i don't really care anymore. this just seems to be becoming a good excuse to let it go because it doesn't say much to me anymore.

sorry that ended on a bit of a downer note idk what to say now. yay! fun! spooky ooooooooooooooooooooooooo halloween boo

#sorry i took like 2 days to answer this i knew i was gonna ramble so i was trying to find the time #ask

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therecordconnection · 2 years ago

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Ranting and Raving: "Don't Let the Light Go Out" by Panic! at the Disco

youtube

The Ship of Theseus is a famous paradox, one that regards identity over time. The paradoxical question takes many forms, but this is the most common one: The ship goes on many voyages over time. As it continues going on, eventually all of the original parts are all replaced with new ones. At that point, one must ask, is it still the Ship of Theseus?

This paradox can be fed into Panic! at the Disco, a band that began as four people but eventually found its way to being officially made up of just one person: Brendan Urie.

Just this morning it was announced that Panic! will be breaking up at the end of their upcoming European tour in March. The news was met here on Tumblr with memes, funny jokes, and observations galore. Pete Wentz killed Panic! the same way he and Fall Out and Boy killed My Chemical Romance when they broke up in 2013. Brendan Urie finally got tired of playing Weekend at Bernie's with the name of a band that hasn't truly been a band since 2009. Ryan Ross gets to drink tonight in honor of "The Evil" being vanquished. All kinds of stuff. The #panic at the disco tag is a very fun and interesting tag to look through today.

For me, I stopped following Panic! after the Death of a Bachelor album. I still enjoy that album a lot. I thought it was a really solid, really strong project and I think that's where Panic! at the Disco could've ended. Sadly, that's not what happened. I didn't really care much for Pray For the Wicked (although I was still stuck listening to my shitty Top 40 radio station at the time that came out so I never want to hear "High Hopes" ever again) and Viva Las Vengeance was an easy album to ignore, mostly due to Urie's public reputation being completely in the toilet by then. I remember hearing the album title, thinking it was silly and dumb, and moved on to other things.

Upon hearing the news that Panic! at the Disco would finally come to an end, I decided that it would possibly be worth it to listen to what will now be the final Panic! album (but is it the last time we'll see Brendan Urie? Could a true solo career be on the horizon someday??) and see what I initially passed on and was indifferent to.

If you want quick thoughts on what I think of the entire album: it's fine. I think it's an album that's mostly unlucky and will continue to be hated mostly because of the stink of Urie's current reputation more so than the quality of the music on it. I've certainly heard much worse, but it's far from the album I would recommend to someone that wants to give Panic! at the Disco a shot. The best way I can describe it is that it's if a theatre kid tried desperately to recreate seventies rock and still feels the need to prove themselves when they've already done so. I can't recommend much, but if you want to give the album a fair shot: the title track, "Middle of a Breakup," "Sad Clown," "Do It To Death" were the ones I thought were the most okay.

The one song that stood out the most to me was "Don't Let the Light Go Out," which is track 3 on the album. It's the one that shines the brightest. It's the best song production wise, Urie sounds great (because he's singing in a normal range as opposed to trying to go for obnoxious high notes that he can't hit,) it was the strongest one lyrically, and it was the one of the only moments of the album that felt genuine. Most of Viva Las Vengeance is Urie flying like a modern Icarus using a jetpack on max speed and most of the tracks sounding like a bloated mess of hubris and overcompensating.

Lyrically, the song is about a relationship ending, using visiting someone in critical condition in the hospital as a metaphor for said relationship dying.

Stare at a wall that's told a thousand tragedies Holding a hand that's loved every part of me A lady comes and tells me that I got to leave

It's not a terrible idea for a song, but when I listened to this song for the first time, it wasn't the death of a romantic relationship that was on my mind. No, the dying relationship that was on my mind was Brendan Urie's relationship with the "Panic! at the Disco" brand ending (it's more apt to call it a "brand" at this point.) If Viva Las Vengeance is going to be re-evaluated, I imagine the songs will be looked at through the lens that I'm looking at this song right now: Seeing the connections between the lyrics and the death of Panic! at the Disco.

The next set of lyrics continue the metaphor of visiting someone in critical condition:

Deep breaths from the room where I watch you lie Any beat from your heart gets me through the night You're my love, you're my death, you're my alibi Say this isn't goodbye

The entire time I've listened to this song, I don't picture a person when I hear "you," I only think of Urie talking to the concept of Panic!. It's not hard to view it this way, especially when you have fans that have been saying Urie has been playing Weekend at Bernie's with the band's corpse for years or that he's the one person that has the power to pull the band's name off of life support and won't do it (until today, of course.)

This song, above all the others, felt the most genuine to me. It's the song with the least amount of theatrics and tricks. It's the one moment on the album where Urie sounds and feels... lost. Like he's gone too far and doesn't know where else to go. I keep asking myself, "If Panic! at the Disco ends, what becomes of Brendan Urie?" What identity do you have when you've been wearing a different one for so long? What do you do when you finally pull the plug on the only thing you've known for the last nineteen years?

Who's gonna drive me home tonight? Who's going to argue 'til they win the fight? You're the only one that knows how to operate My heavy machinery

The post chorus is just the title of the song repeated four times: "Don't let the light go out." I imagine Urie has been repeating this phrase to himself for years now. He probably said it when Spencer Smith was gone, when Ryan Ross was gone, when Dallon Weekes was gone, when all but him were gone from the picture. Urie doesn't strike me as a man who looks backwards, only forwards. "Don't let the light go out" sounds desperate. It sounds like someone who has no idea where they're going, but they know they have to keep moving. They'll figure it out eventually... right?

It's the most genuine and most human moment on the entire album for me. Those six words. "Don't let the light go out." It feels especially human because it's sung by a singer who at only thirty-five sounds fried. I mean, fried. My man's upper register sounds cracked and hurting and you can really hear it on this song and throughout the album. The title track and "Sad Clown" are the two songs where this is most evident. Urie tries (and fails) to hit notes that are way beyond reach for him and they're borderline painful to hear ("Sad Clown" is an apt title for that song... I'll leave it at that.) It's the best song on the album and it's a sad, but fitting end to the Panic! story. It's a good representation of the final days of a brand coming to an unceremonious end.

Panic! at the Disco is something that I think deserves to die and I'm happy to see it die. It needs to enter the backburner of history and hopefully time will be kind to the golden years left behind. Panic! at the Disco's death was slow and agonizing and Viva Las Vengeance is the album you get when you have an artist that refuses to let something come to a natural conclusion. When you have an artist who feels so fucking committed to trying to prove that they were the whole of something great rather than one of the parts that made it great, you get Viva Las Vengeance. The story of Panic! at the Disco is akin to growing up with a dear friend and then watching them be involved in a serious car crash after the best day ever. Then you have to see them cling to life and be hooked up to several machines. Doctors and nurses and surgeons keep them alive when all you want to do is run into the room and pull the plug and stop the pain from continuing.

"It's been a hell of a journey," is how Brendan Urie described the end of the brand. Yes it has, though with the way people have reacted to the news of Panic! at the Disco's demise, you would think Queen Elizabeth came back to life and died again. There's going to be a healthy stream of memes and jokes and ridicule and it's all deserved and it's all Brendan Urie's fault. When you refuse to let something die, eventually people want to go in and kill it for you. My only hope is that people prop up their golden years (A Fever You Can't Sweat Out through Too Rare to Live, Too Weird to Die) and remember that stuff. Maybe I'm biased because my friends and I grew up with the music, but I genuinely think that stuff deserves to stick around because of happy memories associated with it. Too Rare to Live, Too Weird to Die is still one of my favorite albums of the 2010s and my friends and I still have plenty of Panic! songs we're gonna continue to love into the future. I wouldn't have wanted Panic! at the Disco to die this way, but I can say I'm happy it's master finally decided it was time to put it to rest. It deserves to rest peacefully and hopefully (knock on wood) it will forever. If I had to eulogize Panic!, "This Is Gospel" is how I want to do it:

This is Gospel for the fallen ones Locked away in permanent slumber Assembling their philosophies From pieces of broken memories

#original post #ranting and raving #panic! at the disco #music essay #music criticism #Youtube

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