#no im not getting emotional shut up /lh

[triforce-of-mischief]

brother: so how long is this song anyway

me: oh it's been looped for like an hour

brother: ok i just didn't want to admit that i've been vibing

[h4m1lt0ns]

LOVE HATE — LH°44

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴lewis hamilton x monégasque!ferrari!y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔another day, another bickering contest between everyone’s favourite rivals who we all want to end up together.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ dina denoire.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕cussing, fluff, supernatural references and spoilers.

y/n

♡ liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, 3,201,954 others.

y/n when you forget that monaco is the size of a needle’s eye so u keep running into the mf u hate ﹫lewishamilton

593,203 comments.

lewishamilton 🙄🙄🙄

username these two are unreal 😭

username ﹫mercedesamgf1 ﹫scuderiaferrari THEY’RE FIGHTING AGAIN

lewishamilton you literally could’ve vacationed anywhere else

➜ y/n I LIVE HERE????

➜ lewishamilton so what i’m a registered citizen too 🤨

➜ y/n i’m literally monégasque the rest of you are just tax evaders 🙄🙏

➜ username JDJAIQOKWJDJW

➜ username LMFAOOOOOOO

➜ username CALLED OUT THE WHOLE GRID

username can u two just kiss already like ???

username y/n and her emotional support rival 💔💔💔💔💔💔

username funny they act like this we all know you two can’t live without each other 🥱

username when the enemies to lovers is taking too long in the enemies stage 😐

lewishamilton also would appreciate it if you stop coming to my favourite coffee shop, that’s MY spot 🙏🏾

➜ y/n THE OWNER LITERALLY NAMED THE PLACE AFTER ME ????

➜ lewishamilton damn 🙏🏾 too bad it’s MY favourite place

➜ y/nscoffeehouse it’s okay sir Lewis, we like mercedes too!

➜ y/n blocking all of you

➜ username ALWOSJWA

➜ username they literally can’t escape each other 😭

➜ username oh to have a coffee shop in monaco be name after me

username mom and dad are fighting again what’s new

username how is lewis gonna name y/n as his arch nemesis yet she’s the only person he follows like ???

➜ username no bc make it make sense

charles_leclerc can you two act normal for once

➜ y/n NO HE’S SO ANNOYING

➜ lewishamilton oH SO IM THE ANNOYING ONE NOW

➜ y/n you’ve always been 🙏❤️

➜ lewishamilton oh fuck off

➜ y/n you first 🙄

username they’re in love your honour ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️😍😍😍😍😍🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

username how to fast forward to the part where they’re in love with kids and a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere???

lewishamilton by the way your hair looked ugly

➜ y/n ﹫sebastianvettel LOOK AT THIS

➜ sebastianvettel ﹫lewishamilton I taught you better

➜ lewishamilton ﹫y/n OH SO WERE SNITCHING NOW?

➜ y/n stfu u started

username my parents 😍😍😍😍😍

username lewis is just like me 🤞🏽 however i can admit that i’m in love w y/n

scuderiaferrari this shouldn’t be this entertaining 🍿

➜ mercedesamgf1 real

➜ username EVEN THE ADMINS GAVE UP LOL

lewishamilton

♡ liked by y/n, sebastianvettel and 3,203,103 others.

lewishamilton she actually isn’t that bad when she’s quiet ﹫y/n

933,120 comments.

y/n i told you i’m a nice person you just need to shut the fuck up to find out 😍

➜ lewishamilton there is NO point in being nice to you

➜ sebastianvettel stop you two

➜ sebastianvettel do I need to make you hold hands like little kids again?

➜ y/n no seb :(

➜ lewishamilton …no sry seb

username SEB MADE THEM HOLD HANDS 😭

➜ username expediting the enemies to lovers process for everyone’s mental health i see 😁

➜ username HALLELUJAH WERE GETTING SOMEWHERE

➜ username 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽

georgerussell63 they can get along ????

➜ landonorris shocked me too ngl

username now that they’re civil someone quickly make them sign some marriage papers

y/n never going hiking with you again i almost died

➜ lewishamilton lmao bc u scraped ur knee on a rock?

➜ y/n an eagle snached ur hat and almost took the last five hairs you have but do you see me talking abt that??

➜ lewishamilton sorry miss y/l/n 🧎🏾

➜ y/n good to know.

➜ username LAST FIVE HAIRS Y/N IM SCREAMINGGGGGGG

➜ username this interaction is everything.

username CAN THEY KISS ALREADY OMFG

y/n wait where did you go ﹫lewishamilton

➜ lewishamilton in the living room !!!!!

➜ username that’s a slutty amount of exclamation marks sir 🤨

username THEY’RE IN THE SAME HOUSE???

➜ username THEY’RE IN LEWIS’ HOUSE???

➜ username FORCED PROXIMITY ENEMIES TO LOVERS????

username if they don’t end up together i don’t know what i’ll do with myself

username ﹫sebastianvettel set them up or do something bro c’mon

➜ sebastianvettel tried that years ago

➜ username HUUUUUHHHH??!?!,!?!???

➜ username “TRIED” 😭😭😭😭

➜ username BABE WAKE UP NEW LEWY/N LORE DROPPED

➜ username OMFGGGGGG

lewishamilton ﹫y/n where the fuck did you go

➜ y/n u have a nice ass balcony

➜ lewishamilton get ur ass inside bc roscoe is looking for u

➜ y/n 🤨

➜ lewishamilton please come inside, your son looks sad without you because he misses you 🖤

➜ username ROSCOE IS LOOKING FOR HER 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔

username “your son” PLS OMFG

username god JUST ADMIT YOURE INLOVE WITH EACH OTHER

username it’s been years i can’t take this torture any longer

username omw to monaco to make these two fall in love

username can you AT LEAST fall in love for roscoe??? like my boy is a child of divorce

username “your son looks sad without you” MY HEART JUST GREW THREE TIMES ITS SIZE 🥲🥲🥲🥲

username roscoe hamilton y/l/n be the matchmaker we need 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

username SEB TRIED TO SET THEM UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

➜ fernandoalo_oficial trust me we all have

➜ username HELLO?????

➜ username THIS IS SO ???????

➜ username OH MY GOD. ALL OF YOU??

➜ fernandoalo_oficial me, seb, jenson, toto, mattia, pretty much the whole grid

➜ username YOURE JOE KING.

➜ username WOAHHHHHH THERE NANDO

➜ username try again bestie nando 🙏🏽❤️

➜ username one more try won’t hurt king alonso

y/n

♡ liked by carlossainz55, sebastianvettel and 4,103,855 others.

y/n learning to tolerate ﹫lewishamilton (who is is decent enough) bc roscoe is the love of my life 🤍🐾

1,294,685 comments.

lewishamilton you finally admit it 😐

➜ y/n i tolerate u for roscoe bc that’s my baby

username he’s actually great y/n 😁 ‼️he’s a (eight) seven time wdc, has great fashion, great music taste, his dog considers you his mom, has probably been in love with you for the past five to seven years, and he’s really fucking hot !! give him a chance 😁🙏🏽❤️

➜ username and he’s a really good person!!

➜ username + cute english accent as well

➜ username his hair is rly nice too!!!!!!

➜ username he also makes music sometimes

➜ username i see we’re all desperate to get these two idiots together

➜ username yes 😔

username ENEMIES TO LOVERS IS ENEMIES TO LOVERSING FINALLY THE SLOW BURN IS OVER 🥹

lewishamilton i’m a joy to be around wdym decent enough

➜ y/n you think you’re a joy ???

➜ lewishamilton i think i’m adorable 😁🙏🏾

➜ y/n wait is that a dean winchester reference

➜ lewishamilton …no.

➜ y/n yOU WATCHED SUPERNATURAL

➜ lewishamilton what was i supposed to do?? you wouldn’t shut up abt it 🙄

username HE 😭 WATCHED 😭 SUPERNATURAL 😭 FOR 😭 HER 😭

username they’re MY old married couple thank you 🤨❤️

username lewis watched supernatural bc y/n wouldn’t stop talking abt it 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

➜ username and he’s making references 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

➜ username MY PARENTS YOUR HONOUR

username what these bitches have is what i truly want in life, dear god.

username 🕯 manifesting they magically get together 🕯

username they just won’t admit they’re in love huh 😕

username one of you better make a move or i will

scuderiaferrari this has been the most interesting thing to happen this season i want to stay here forever

➜ username LMFAO ADMIN IS SO REAL

➜ username ITS YOUR TURN TO SET THEM UP

➜ username YEAH IT MIGHT WORK

➜ mercedesamgf1 it’s been years we all gave up

➜ username there’s really no hope huh

➜ username shhhhh my delulu says there is

➜ username ur delulu is deluluing

susie_wolff these two 🙄

➜ username even susie has had enough

➜ username mother susie please do something

➜ susie_wolff you think I haven’t tried?

➜ username I��VE OFFICIALLY LOST HOPE.

➜ username OH MY GOD 😭

➜ username the fact that the entire grid has tried to set them up ????

lewishamilton your son misses you btw.

➜ y/n i miss him too.

➜ username roscoe and i are children of divorce.

➜ username we all are.

lewishamilton

♡ liked by y/n, sebastianvettel and 7,294,103 others.

lewishamilton she’s the jo harvelle to my dean winchester

tagged: y/n

1,699,505 comments.

y/n three years of pretending i hate u is enough of a soft launch right ???

➜ username FYM THREE YEARS???

➜ username THREE WHAT NOW.

username LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE GOT THEM 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

pierregasly FINALLY.

mickschumacher THANK GOD I DONT THINK I COULD’VE BEEN ABLE TO SHUT UP FOR ANY LONGER

charles_leclerc the amount of time i’ve been threatened by y/n to stay quite requires compensation 😭 i’m so happy the secret’s finally out

➜ username LMFAOOOOOOO PLS

username HARDEST LAUNCH OF THE CENTURY??????????

username THE I LOVE MY GF MEME???? LEWIS WHO HAVE YOU BECOME.

username the fact that i’m surprised is almost offensive 😀

fernandoalo_oficial about fucking time

landonorris took long enough oh my god

➜ sebastianvettel all you did was watch them try to hide their relationship, be grateful you didn’t witness them deny being in love with each other between 2016 and 2019

➜ landonorris IT WAS WORSE THAN THIS?

➜ sebastianvettel oh boy, you haven’t seen anything

➜ username seb is sick and tired 😭

➜ username no bc 2016-2019 was something else frfr 😭😭😭

username YESSSSSSS OMFG FINALLY

username THREE YEARS??? THEY’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR THREE YEARS????

➜ username HOW WERE THEY ABLE TO HIDE FOR THREE YEARS

➜ username HOW DID THEY EVEN PULL THIS OFF

username i can FINALLY sleep peacefully at night

lewishamilton wait so is roscoe technically jack or ben??

➜ y/n jack for sure, ben is barely relevant and roscoe is too famous and loved for that

➜ username “ben is barely relevant” i screamed.

➜ username they sold me. i’m watching supernatural tonight.

➜ username NO BC SAME.

username WE ARE NO LONGER CHILDREN OF DIVORCE ‼️‼️‼️😁😁😁😁🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

danielricciardo i would’ve lost my mind trying to remain quite for longer

➜ carlossainz55 I think we can all agree on this one (I too, have been threatened by y/n 😐)

jensonbutton this deserves a literal celebration, we are exhausted.

➜ username I LOVE HOW EVERYONE HAS HAD ENOUGH LMFAO

➜ username RIGHT LIKE THEYRE SO OVER IT LMAO

y/n jo literally had the most unfair death in the whole show ???

➜ lewishamilton can we not be cute FOR ONCE

➜ y/n tbf jo and dean would’ve been endgame

➜ lewishamilton there you go 😍😍😍

username MY PARENTSSSSSSSSS

username YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BREAK UP 🔥🔥🔥🔥

georgerussell63 WE DONT HAVE TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS ANYMORE 🥳

username is this … happiness? mercedes and ferrari fans are…. happy?

➜ username i sense a disturbance in the force

➜ username the happiest we’ll be all season LMAO

➜ username REALLLLL LMFAO

y/n you’re all mine 💕

➜ lewishamilton yours 🤞🏾

➜ y/n WAIT I CAN SAY THAT PUBLICLY NOW

➜ y/n GUYS HE’S MY BF 🤍🤍🤍🤍

➜ y/n AND I LOVE HIM 🤍🤍🤍 A LOT

➜ username SHE SAID IT!!! SHE SAID IT!!

username a hard launch for the books ong

username i’ve never been happier to see two people in love in my life

➜ username no literally

username AMENNNNNNNNN

username god i see what you did to other people

mercedesamgf1 toto says congratulations 🥳👏🏽

➜ mercedesamgf1 and that he was sick of his favourite couple hiding their love

➜ username EVERYYYYYYBODY IS TIRED HUH

➜ scuderiaferrari each and every one of us. exhausted. sick even.

➜ username oh y’all’s therapists have therapists 😭

lewishamilton okay stop looking at MY girl guys 🙄

➜ username “MY GIRL” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

➜ username OUR girl lew 🤞🏽

➜ lewishamilton no.

➜ username fym no?? sir she was our gf before she was became yours 😐

➜ lewishamilton well she’s MINE now so 🥰

➜ username okay jealous icon 😁🙏🏽

➜ username the fact he uses emojis so unironically well now bc of y/n is irritating like i can hear him say that lmfao

➜ y/n he may be an old man but that’s MY old man 🥰

➜ username this is everything.

➜ username 😭😭😭😭😭😭

➜ username “MY old man” 💔💔💔💔💔

[analoceits]

Hey Analoceit for ship bingo?

omg, how did you guess i liked them?? /lh/j

ship it, ofc.

what made you ship it? the everything. the everything ever. analogical was my first ship in the fandom, anxceit makes me want to eat rocks, and loceit is deeply fucking cute. all three of them together?? i will explode 1 million times.

what are your favorite things abt the ship? so many but 1 major one is the way they balance each other out. janus and virgil, survival instincts, weigh against chronic over worker logan. janus and logan, calm, weight against vees anxieties. logan and virgil, reasonable, can weigh against janus's dramatics. plus the way theyre all the left brain/ less emotional sides and the way i imagine they bond over that. plus virgil and janus double teaming to get logan to take care of himself and rekindling old love in the process. plus virgil and janus wanting each other dead but logan being their mediator.. can you tell im silly for them.

is there an unpopular opinion you have on the ship? any timeline where theyre the normal/chill ship is a LIE. shut up. look at these three gay men and tell me theyre normal ever for a second.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

man ok idk if youll be able to advise on this or something but like. do you know anything regarding dealing with like internalised ableism?

i live in a rural part of ireland, right? and idk what it is about rural ireland but some of the people are heinous. my school is in a small miserable-ass town and like. God, man. not everyone sucks, of course but like. jesus lol additionally i have a ~mildly ableist~ mother (a "we're all a little bit autistic" and "erm. youre not disabled because youre not in a wheelchair or blind/deaf" etc etc type stuff. + "npd = bad person" which isnt particularly good for me specifically because i have npd (that i both Cant get an official diagnosis for, for various reasons, and im not really Looking for one either because i know what i am and its not like you get support for it because ~ooh scary narcissist~.)

and like. idk if this is Obvious but that can kinda cause a weird-ass relationship with You (being Me in this case, yk how it is with the second person perspective when. ranting) and The Concept Of Being Disabled. like, objectively. im disabled. im autistic, ive definitely got adhd (that im hopefully going to get examined for at some point cause college stuff requires it for the disability forums and stuff. gotta love that. fuckin 80% comorbidity right?), ive got a laughable number of repetative strain injuries, i have a sensory processing disorder, an endocrine disease that effects my Entire cardiovascular system, a spine that felt a lil quirky and bent in too much. so on a so forth

but also like. it feels wrong to call myself disabled. yk, like im doing a disservice to all the other ~actually~ disabled people (being Anyone but me lol) (none of this is At All helped by the fact that my mother refuses to listen to me regarding Jack Shit about my health in Any way. "oh you nearly passed out on top of a hill because of your cardiovascular condition? erm youre just not exercising enough actually" "you dont have depression [said while i was filling out an assigned mood diary after being forcefully brought to camhs for Reasons" like. shut the fuck up and Listen to me please. at least Entertain the idea that i could be right about something for fucking once lmao. cause ive been right about EVERYTHING regarding my mental health so fucking far so. fuck off /nay ofc) (also man. like, even if you ignored the physical issues ive got im still disabled on account of being autistic. like, motor function is fine, despite being a lil clumsy and/or unsteady sometimes but like. my emotional needs are Fucked. think of the response youd get if you asked a. fuckin. 8 year old or something to do algebra. but with a very emotionally stunted and traumatised 17 year old lol. lmao, even /lh)

so like. if youve got. any advice or whatever on any of this thatd be Super cool + no pressure obvs. sorry this is a whole. like. fucking essay's worth of Random Guy Complaining To You On The Internet lol

-🐢 <- just so i can find this again if you respond. i Like Turtles. i am Normal about the tmnt and also turtles The Creatures. i wont talk at length about turtle mutant anatomy (i am deceiving you)

Internalised ableism is a really hard thing to deal with, especially when you're surrounded by people who constantly re-enforce it. I've also spent a lot of time worrying that I'm not disabled 'enough' to deserve certain accommodations, that I'm making an unnecessary fuss. But the truth is, autism IS a disability and if there are accommodations that can help support you, you deserve access to them. You're not taking away from others with disabilities by advocating for yourself.

It's taken me a long time to understand this and I still worry sometimes. What has helped is talking about my experiences with people I know understand, like my therapist or best friend, and learning about the experiences of other autistic people through books, social media, YouTube and even real life.

I'm sorry your mother and others aren't being understanding - remember that's a them problem, not you, and try to spend your time with people who do understand.

🐢🐢🐢 <- the turtles wish you luck

[sovawife]

i made this WAY more soft than i meant to and i kind of accidentally killed myself with my own art so. heres what remains of me i guess posting this/j EITHER WAY. they are married :) i rlly dont have a story for this or anything i just wanted to draw them being soft LMAO

taglist: @raihan-of-sunshine@marcowolfs@samsbeckett@winds-beloved@nooks-canon-boyfriend@aidoruus@matcha-narancia@gyuho@lothrics-love@rabbitsselfshipadventures@bittersweet-n-smilin@self-shipyard@strawberryshipz@murderposting@genoge

[biggsteppy]

[chillichats]

58 look away im stupid emotional in this

@fathermooshroom for the sake of your entertainment mr moosh i have written down my thoughts as incomprehensibly and as non filtered as possible, starting right after where i was when i sent the ask

mr moosh you piece of shit what the fuck you cant what no NO THIS IS WHAT TECHNO FEARED THE MOST im gonna be sick im gonna throw up im losing my mind WHY

mr moosh do you understand of course you understand but DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD YOU why would dream do that?? did he get scared from tommy not holding back? hve there been fights since then? is there something going on from dreams point of view that made it so he had to try and get his hands on whtever it was he needed from spiderman as quickly as possible?? he wanted him alive before so what changed? is it related to whatever he was trying to ‘fix’ the first time??? ive gone on a tangent of thoughts while writing this im going back to reading

no.. being about to die is what makes tommy realise he wants to live... god fuck MR MOOSH YOURE RUINING ME D OYOU UNDERSTAND THAT

oh im trying so desperately not to cry but the visuals of kristin and phil finding his cold body the next morning GOD of FUCK yeah no theres no point in trying not to cry its a repeat of the first chapter but its not /lh its /FUCK

*sobbing* yeahb ranboo hed really like it if he could have your leftovers for lunch tomorrow i cant do thi s i canttt

its been a few minutes and ive sort of., usded up all my easily accessible emotions so im numb for noww and im just. in a well of deep horrified empathy for techno and tubbo who are going through all this and they cant even tell anyone else until the worst happens/would happen

FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF I THOUGHT MY EMOTIONS WERE GONE I THOUGHT ID USED THEM ALL UP ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ FUCK OFF TOMMY SHUT UP

‘youre not gonna miss us youre just gonna be gone’ techno why do i have to kin you in particular god holding my breath to counteract the sobs but its not working

fuck off with your ‘details’ and your ‘predeath sentiment’ tommy I DONT WANT TO KNOW THAT THEY STARTED CRYING AFTER ELLIE DIED ID ONT I DONT

NO OH GOD WILBUR DOESNT UNDERSTAND BUT IF TOMMY DIES HE WILL AND HE”LL KNOW THAT THEY KNEW IT WAS COMING AND THAET THEY KEPT IT FROM HIM yknow what im gonna leave theories until i reach the end because i stg i refuse to torture myself with ideas that might not even happen

‘theyre scared they wont get another chance’ and another round of tears. MR MOOSH IM NOT NORMALLY EMOTIONAL TO THIS EXTENT WHAT HVAE YOU DONE

‘WE’LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING’ OH GOD KRISTIBN YOU WILL BUT NOT THEI WAY YOU THINK OH GOD OHG OD

he knows cyanide causes a painful death and he wants to sleep to try avoid it FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IM NOT I CANT IM WHAT? NO

im tired of capitals im tired of them but god techno’s making me wanna use them so bad you dont undetstand im legitimately bawling

... ‘ Tommy can’t bring himself to understand why someone would want a character—want their creation—to suffer like that’ fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuvk you

....he knows its tommy

[thevalleyoftriumph]

jk im not done im here for poppy

👁️👊🍰🍧🍩🎂💐🌙🕷️🏊🪤📷🎭🔫☁️❤️

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAABEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! HEFKNVJKDFNJKVFNKL DEAR LIRD

for ppl who dont know, poppy iz my backroomz oc!! theyre a partypooper lol.

of course you ask 4 sweetz themed emojiz in a row. partygoer kinnie lol /lh anywayz

👁️ EYE - what colour are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical…)?

mmmmmm itd be a little funny if they just didnt have any. well okay thatz a lie, they DO have eyez, but not onez most ppl [ie, humanz] can see? if i had to compare whatz going on to something, itd be like how in soma, when ppl were put into robotz, their brainz refused to comprehend it, so instead showed them something they were familiar with. thatd be the case with poppyz eyez. they HAVE eyez, just none that we can comprehend, so to most people/beingz, theyd just be simple dark eyez. humanz see no eyez at all - just a void - but anything else that can SOMEWHAT see, though not entirely, just see darkness with a slight difference between pupil and the rest of it. possibly tinted blue? with little speckz of white.

👊 PUNCH - are they quick to violence?

ehhh dependz. they definitely would prefer NOT getting violent, but . yknow. they dont have a fucking sledgehammer and a fucked up knife for no reason. they dont start anything, but god forbid if you decide to attack them. most entitiez learn their lesson pretty quick, if theyre not something poppy would rather run from, and well. well! yknow how partypooperz usually just drag aggressive wandererz to the partygoerz to deal with? yeah poppy doeznt do that theyll just bash ur head in or stab you. and you KNOW what their knife lookz like. that shit iz based off a real knife that requirez TEAMZ OF SURGEONZ to close a wound of. if you push them to fight, theyll fuckin fight.

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

oohh, id say.. red velvet with vanilla icing, and maybe some of that like.. strawberry stuff yknow the kind thatz like somewhat clear and drippy? idk what itz called but theyd LOVE that on a cake. they dont like anything to do with mint or nutz, though.

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

mmmmm i didnt think about that actually. im torn between giving them an actual childhood and just having them poof into existence lol. but no, even if they did, i dont think theyd have any major itemz from it. be it because itd be too troublesome to carry around, too identifying, or just. too painful to have with them all the time.

🍩 DONUT - favourite sweet treat?

candycorn lol. theyve had it like, once in their entire life but they like it. dont ask me where they got it from i dont know either shut up /j

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

they ALSO dont have a birthday lol. not technically at least, and def not one thatd line up with Our birthdayz - backroomz shit or whatever. i think theyd have an equivalent - like how your partygoerz have "birthdayz" if they were human once and itz just the dayz they got turned into partygoerz, i think partypooperz would have something similar! i dont think ALL partypooperz were, yknow, alwayz partypooperz, and maybe some were wandererz that decided to team up w them. so birthdayz would be join datez. poppyz not one of theze, but they like celebrating other pplz stuff - though it never doez get too big, yknow? never too much like a party, the "celebrating" iz usually just congratulating someone on being around that long lol. [though between you and me, poppy iz never opposed to people GIVING them a date for a birthday. hint hint. nudge nudge.]

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

now im stealing all theze symbolism meaningz from wikipediaz page of plant symbolism, but if i had to make a little bouqet for them, id say probably...

yellow orchidz + rosez - generally meanz, for orchidz friendship, joy, or new beginningz and for rosez, i picked out the friendship, apology, intense emotion, extreme betrayal, and a broken heart partz :]

diphylleiaz - meaning "'I will show my true self to you,' clarity, honesty"

vervain - meaning "pray for me, protection against evil"

add in one or two, maybe three, black rosez - specifically their meaningz of "death, sorrow, and danger"

surrounded by arborvitae, meaning "everlasting friendship."

out of theze flowerz specifically, i think poppy would like vervainz the most. they have absolutely NO knowledge on plant symbolism, they just think itz pretty :]

and no their nickname being "poppy" az in the flower waz COMPLETELY unintentional /srs but itz a little funny

🌙 MOON - what is your oc’s greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

to see the sky. the REAL sky, yknow, from earth and shit. not the fake onez in the backroomz levelz that show a "sky." they wanna see the cloudz, the starz, even the sun. theyre not willing to kill for it, but itz alwayz at the back of their mind.

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

mmmm. itd be a little funny if i said the dark az a mundane fear, though i guess in the backroomz itz kinda warrented. loud noisez too - like balloonz popping, lol - are known to startle them.

but biggest fear?? mmm i couldnt tell ya. i dont think theyd have one, or maybe just havent figured it out themself. i havent thought of one for them yet lol. ur free to give suggestionz. winky face.

🏊 SWIMMING - can they swim? or are they afraid of water? how well do they swim? how do they feel about swimming in the ocean?

i mean. they can float? and can probably go from one end of a swimming pool to another lol. but can they keep themselvez afloat if the waterz deeper than they are tall? fuck no lol. plus, all the layerz of their clothez way them down a ton. they know enough to survive long enough for someone to pull em out, or swim in a 'shallow' pool [maximum of 5'5'' deep tho any more than that and they Will throw a fit /j] but not enough to survive like. the OCEAN. in fact the thought iz mildly terrifying and theyd rather not, thankz!

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

mmmmmm. their friendz. they dont even have to be in danger, just a friend calling to them to come look at something. other partypooperz, some entitiez they know, or wandererz theyve befriended. they SHOULD know better, and usually they do stop and consider if itz actually them or something mimicking them or even just a trap in general, but well. they like their friendz! a lot lol.

📸 CAMERA - do they enjoy having their picture taken? what’s their go-to pose? do they like taking photos? what do they take photos of?

dependz. mask on? they dont really care az long az nothing identifying in the picture. mask off? hoodie off? nah. fuck that. theyll break ur camera lol.

but if you ask nicely to take a picture theyll probably say yes. they stand so awkwardly tho theyre like when ur a kid and ur grandma makez u stand next to ur siblingz or cousinz or smthn and keepz telling u to get closer so u just stand there like "aaaaa" yknow? they stand like that lol. theyll usually have a hand in a pocket or holding something and doing a little peace sign with the other.

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what’s different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

yes actually! theyre very quiet around strangerz, more tense and aware, and give very short responsez that often make them come of az rude on accident. around friendz theyre more outgoing, louder or just in general friendly. more willing to take off their jacket and hoodie, or move up their mask to drink stuff, yknow?

🔫 PISTOL - do they trust people easily? how easily will they turn their back to someone? have they been backstabbed before? will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

ehhhh not very well. they give wandererz the benefit of the doubt each time and enough trust to let them follow behind them, but other entitiez are on much thinner ice. it takez a lot to earn their trust, but unless you give proof you plan to hurt them, they wont leave you to just die, yknow? mmm. id say they have def been backstabbed on multiple occasionz, esp during the fun war - theyd be bringing a wanderer back only to LITERALLY get stabbed, or maybe a bat to the face, or getting kicked down to the ground. theyve managed to escape nearly every time with only minor injuriez or scratchez, but it defz hurtz each time, even if they expected it.

az for betraying someone.... well. theyd never betray their closest friendz. and theyd like to think that theyd never, EVER do such a thing for even an ultimatum.

but if they were given hard proof, actual evidence, of, say.. being able to leave the backroomz? or their friendz being forever safe and protected?

theyd like to think theyd never turn their back on their friendz. but whoz to say how theyd actually act in the situation if there waz proof. :]

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

they like to sing! sometimez if they think theyre alone, theyll be humming to themself or muttering lyricz under their breath. itz a comfort to them :]

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

actz of service or wordz of affirmation, usually. theyre not AGAINST touch, but will only do that with ppl they deeply trust. will be flattered by being given giftz, and iznt against given them themself, but all in all, theyre very much a "actionz speak louder than wordz" type of guy, mixed in with a "i NEED to tell ppl they did amazing in order to show my love or i WILL die."

[skybristle]

day 4. Let's go. ill make a cohesive post Probably later but NOT NOW im just going with my brain below cut for spoilers

been holding it in this whole time but my gay senses are now activated. Black raisin's voice does shit to me i am a RAGING homosexual. Sorry /lh 'i am,,, indebted to [hollyberry]' wildberry what do you MEAN??/ HELLO??? EYES EMOJI,,,,,,, wait wahhh thats so cute actually. Sobs and screams and cries and throws up. More reasons to be a hollyberry cookie stan forever and ever and ever. Don't fight me on this omg crunchy chip IS part raisin. once again on my idea him and black raisin are besties. Source: dude trust me. MIGHT elaborate on this later im not feeling the brainrot rn PV gonna bring up the truth,,, oooo king cant wait for this bitch to blow up uh oh uh oh. Clotted cream dont spill dude let PV do it i will kill you no hesitation with my bare hands. DAMNIT. also the music stopped UH OH. UH OH. THE MUSIC CHANGED. UH OH. pv breaking out the distressed sprite. Uh oh. i kinda get clotted creme's pespective but like. Wouldn't it be easier just to,,,,,,, Deal with dark enchantress and then DESTROY the soul jam????? and even then, you're dooming the ancients to death when they've lived so long considering themselves immortal. golden cheese would have his HEAD for even voicing the thought. CACAO GO KING GO KING GO SLAY SLAY KILL THAT TWINK KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL. clotted cream shut the FUCK up OHHHH SHIT. hb i love you but maybe let this one slide. Let peepaw kill. As a treat. granted i do think his perspective is probably biased due to the whole affo deal but like. Still. DONT DRAG PV INTO THIS. he was JUST ABOUT TO TELL THEM ON HIS OWN TERMS this could have been AVOIDED. oh my GOD clotted cream be PATIENT Oh my god PV's speech. Eats this up sooo hard. Oh my god i need to write an essay on PV and WL im actually deranged. EXPECT THAT SOMETIME OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOO POLYCULE DIVORCE /JOKE. but seriously ougghhh thats so sad. poor PV but also king you had it coming. extra ouchie for fanon when he ALREADY got chewed out by messenger for this exact reason. He's losing everyone. God. FUCK. punches and screams and sobs and kicks. Help im actually being pushed to almost tears by the COOKIE GAME. FUCK CLOTTED CREAM SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP OH MY GOD> FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU KILL KILL KILL. I hate him so much oh my GOD. talking top slot over affogato jesus CHRIST. nooooooo hb her asking for extra strong juice is sooo fucked awww black raisin being so eager to help she accidentally breaks things. Love you queen so much she is so true all of the time "The kingdom is in Caramel Arrow Cookie's good hands" YASSSSS. queen is SLAYING. and making out with her canonical wife and girlfriend [magnolia cookie] /LH okay the ancients are making up its okay :] but MAN was i fucked up for a hot minute. I just really dont like how gc is absent and isnt learning with them. ill have to figure out a way to write her in and move around the council later. messenger would also be very important in this i think and they'd probably be back by the time gc's chapters are said and done with. ill have to think on it oughhhghgh,,, the final cutscene with the three heros. Falls down. Falls over and dies. OH MY GOD THEY ARE **MOCKING** the cheese fans. shes BARELY visible in this cutscene asset. but also wahhh thats so cute. OKAY. IM DONE. takes one million emotional damage and dies. My fanon is going thru a LOT of changes trust me after this

[relaxxattack]

(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life

like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.

people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.

i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)

which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)

im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.

yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?

perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty

[rosiehunterwolf]

i know i'm a little late, but: 😂 ☺️ 🤨👤 (i know these are a lot, i just didn't wanna send stuff that had already been asked. just choose your fav/s!:D)

Haha no problem Aster!

And actually I haven’t gotten any of these ones yet so IM DOING ALL. ALL OF THEM.

😂 Share your funniest line (or dialogue exchange)

Ngl… it took me a while to find one XD. Not to say my fics are ALL doom and gloom (they mostly are) but the parts I write ahead of time usually are the angsty bits lol. I did find this, though… it’s kinda old and I don’t know when it’s going to happen XD

“I’ll go next,” the Water Ninja announced. She pulled off the gray mask, huffing slightly in embarrassment as it got caught in her hair, and with a final tug, yanked it free, sending beautiful, wavy black hair tumbling down her back. Brushing it out of her eyes, she looked up- and Jay found himself staring right into the stunning brown eyes of Nya Smith.

Jay nearly choked on his toast.

Luckily, no one noticed, because the Fire Ninja, who had just taken a sip of orange juice, spat it out, sending droplets of the orange liquid everywhere.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Nya said, wrinkling her nose.

☺️ Share a happy line

(what are you DOING to me, Aster? Are you trying to conform me to be a fluffy writer? Because IT’L NEVER WORK!! /lh)

“Lloyd and Nya will get it back after they meet up with us.”

Kai perked. “We’re going to see them? In person?” Oh gosh, it had been nearly a year since he had seen them face-to-face, not just over a grainy FaceTime call on a sketchy internet connection. He bit his lip, trying to stop the tears from budding in his eyes. I’m just one, big, emotional mess today, aren't I?

🤨 Share a line that makes no sense out of context

Hmmm…. I think this works for this one?

“Hey.”

Jay didn’t move. “You followed me here?”

“Of course I did. I was worried about you.”

Jay exhaled, pressing his face into his hands. “I love you, Cole, but sometimes, you are just too much for me.”

Glancing up into the mirror, he saw Cole’s frown deepen. “Did I do something to you?”

“It’s not always about you!” The words exploded from his mouth before he could stop them.

Cole was quiet. Jay glanced up again to see the senior staring at him, something glistening in his dark eyes.

Fear.

👤 Share a line that shows a character’s personality

Lloyd didn’t say anything, staring at his feet as he gently swung them back and forth. In the way he was positioned, they didn’t even touch the floor. Kai was reminded again of exactly how young he was.

“Lloyd?” he whispered. “You okay?”

The green ninja remained silent, and Kai tried again. “Look, I totally understand if you don’t want to do this-”

“No.” Lloyd’s voice was quiet, but firm, and Kai snapped his mouth shut instantly.

“I… I have to do this,” he continued, a little more shakily. “If I’m the only one who can do this… he needs to be stopped.”

“I’m really sorry it has to be this way. I would take your place in a heartbeat, if I could.”

“I know you would. But you can’t. It has to be me.”

[k0kichiimagines]

I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THIS OMGGGGG-

SO LIKE- I GOT THAT BAD ENDING WITH SUIT SAERAN AND HOLY SHIT I LOST MY MIND OVER IT

WHEN HE ENTERED WITH RAY'S CLOTHES-

I

LOST

MY

SHIT

T H E R E

I WAS SO DAMN SURPRISED AND THE WAY HE TREATS MC IS BRUTAL HOLY WJDHWHDBWJDHWBDHSBDBWHD

AND THE FACT HE ACTED LIKE RAY TOO I'M WHEN HUH- I LOST IT AGAIN THERE HELPPP /NEG /LH

BAD ENDINGS ARE PAINFUL MANNNN

THE ENDING!! YES I KNOW THAT ENDING ITS SO PAINFUL </33 THE ONE WHERE YOURE BASICALLY STUCK AND HES ALL"HEHE YOU SUCK IM GETTING A GF NOW" PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN ITS SO PAINFUL CRYING

emotional damage frfr

[darth-does-stuff]

its ramble time. also yeah this is gonna be p long (hence the word - rambles) and prob talking a lot about patton and janus because i havent talked about them much and i have IDEAS

(also i know i want remy to be involved somehow but i havent figured out how yet. suggestions welcome ghjghjgs)

so thomas and logan are elves, roman remus and virgil are magic users (witches warlocks wizards whatever the word is lmao), remus specializes in wind magic, roman in fire, and virgil in weather. 

the magic virgil uses is often called chaos magic and in order for something to be generally classified as chaos magic, it needs to be unusual/rare, chaotic (duh) or unpredictable, and destructive. (these classifications might change as i think on them more). wind magic is largely argued upon whether it is chaos magic or not, seeing as how it is largely unpredictable and can be seen as destructive, but it doesnt fit the bill with the first one, leading to the arguments. same with fire magic, but they said it was too common for it to be chaos magic. virgil having weather magic means that he can create storms, sandstorms, generate lightning, windstorms, and also able to control (or rather ‘bend’) rain. of course, there are drawbacks and limitations, adding to the fact that virgil has a very hard time controlling his magic and harnessing it, he is not op dw. magic is also very much tied to emotions btw

also ro re and vee have two moms and they are a lesbian couple sorry i dont make the rules

elven lore and shit time - while gold is rare in many places in the fantasy land (i still have yet to decide on a name), in the elven land (i have not decided names for each section either lmao) iron and steel are actually harder to find than gold. gold still holds its own worth, but iron and steel are generally regarded as superior in worth than gold, which is why many nobles possess the material. and ive already explained the left eye crest thing with the elves, their left eye has a shape or crest to it along with a color that glows slightly. the glow can be dimmer or brighter depending on their emotions at the time. logan has a diamond shape to his left eye and a leaf green glow to it, which also happens to be his eye color as well. thomas’ is a heart and rainbow color and glow, while his actual eye color is an almond brown. ill discuss appearances in another post btw. anyways, the elven lifestyle is the most similar to humans, having a battleschool, its system nd shit, etc. although it does differ in terms of ‘rulers’. the humans have a monarchy while the elves rule through a council of 9. (an odd number so there arent any ties) logan uses both a sword and a bow as his weapons of choice. thomas was forced to go to battleschool so he basically just dips as soon as he can after teaching logan what he knows and becomes a healer because HEALER THOMAS 

PATTON AND JANUS TIME PATTON AND JANUS TIME PATTON AND JA

 patton is one of the merfolk, who (in this au) are a species that have two forms. their mer form, where the lower half of them is the mer tail fish tail what the fuck is it called. anyways the color of pattons tail (wtf is it dude) is a desaturated light blue. he has these like ??? spikes?? is that the word? jutting out from his forearms. (at the very least pointy things) and he will not hesitate to use them as weapons. yeah he’s a feral boy. he has some spots of scales on his upper body but they are pretty scarce. in his human form, he just looks like a human i dunno what you expected lmao. in the water his eyes are a really potent blue while on land they are much duller. he can also breathe underwater regardless of the form. patton also cant really will himself to either form, if he wants to be human form he has to be on land and vice versa for the mer form.

janus is a fucking uh,, dude idk the word for it. i guess the general word for it would be dragon but he’s more humanoid than dragon. a cross between the two ig. anyways he has scales on one side of his face, scaly wings because fuck yeah, horns jutting out from his forehead, and more shit that i have forgotten but i know he has it. the scales are a golden color, with warm yellows and light oranges mixed in. left eye has a dragon pupil type thing, like a slitted pupil. fuck i hate describing things ghdgakhgask. im playing around with the idea that dragons can shapeshift but nothing is set in stone with that tbh. most dragon folk are like janus, a mix between dragon and human, and only the really powerful ones are the ones that can actually turn into dragons so thats pretty rare. but fuck descriptions its time for fucking FRIENDSHIP and FAMILY

janus has a little brother whose name is emile and they are 6 and actually pretty shy. it took them a while to warm up to patton but now he literally loves pat and everytime he sees them he bolts over and just gives him a huge hug. patton tries to act all tough but he is so soft for emile there is no denying it and they all know it. jan and emile have an agender parent and a genderfluid parent. agender parent uses xe/xem btw. 

patton has a mother and never knew his father. he and his mother have a rather,,, distant relationship i suppose. his mother is in the royal guard so she is called away often (though it does not excuse the neglect in the slightest) her and pat just mutually acknowledge that they both exist and go about their day. one day pat confessed to jan that he never really felt that they were his mom, more just a person who birthed him. one time in a particular bout of drowsiness, patton confessed that janus and his family were the ones that he truly considered family. janus got choked up and was like ‘shut up you bastard im supposed to be tough /pos’ 

the first time janus showed him how he could get rid of the dragon aspects of himself for a limited time, patton literally took one look at his human form and shouted ‘what the FUCK’ and janus was like ‘IVE SEEN YOU CHANGE FORM BEFORE WHATS YOUR DEAL’ and patton just screams ‘THIS IS FUCKIN WEIRD’ (all /lh) janus and patton get up to so many shenanigans its a wonder they havent gotten caught yet lmao

patton, once again in sleep deprivation cause thats the only fuckin time he’ll confess anything about his emotions, told janus that he was his first friend and that he was so scared to mess it up when they first became friends. he’d spent most of his life alone and always in this state of just,,, perpetual anger, bubbling right underneath the surface with no way to escape. it led to him getting in a lot of fights and just lashing out, especially at people who tried to become his friend, scaring them away. when janus came along and stayed, he said it was the best thing that ever happened to him. he finally had a friend. even when he lashed out and retreated back into himself, putting up those walls again, janus still stayed. he helped break those walls down bit by bit, helped patton with his anger issues, helped patton realize that janus was here to stay, and that he wasnt leaving.

if you cant tell, i love them sm ghdgaskgjs

[peachpitmp3]

FHSDKLJFKLSJDF fair enough fair enough. i hear your words on chocolate cake. i don't actually know when i last had a chocolate cake like that but it sounds good? anyways agree to disagree but opinions on ice cream cake? yOU SHOULD !! make chocolate peanut butter cookies, you know you want to /lh /j

!!!! friends and camp sound wonderful, that's awesome you liked the camp!! hfsdklgjfklwsdjf mood, cookies are very good and also. multiflavorful (there's probably a lot of better words than that one i just made up but *john mulaney voice* you can get out of here with your facts)

looking at the stars <3333 "you know they’re doing the same somewhere and so you’re still connected" aaaaAAAHHH THIS LINE. OH MY GOD. i am in love with your writing sdjhf

something romantic but mundane,,, hmmmms. listening to music. because a song will come on and then it's really just Yearning time. and daydreaming of them,, and you associate certain songs with them. and then you can exchange playlists, and just like with the stars, you're connected. also like. i'm Not Good with Emotions and then you have these beautiful packages of pretty sounding poetry that you can hand to someone and it's something so ordinary and small but you're exchanging words that you can't yet say yourself <3

favorite summer activity is probably swimming and watching the sunset, where it's peaceful and it feels like the rest of the world has finally shut up and let you breathe. i do like summer! it's always really humid and hot, so definitely not my favorite season. but i do like the aesthetics and the free time, and getting to see friends outside of school. ooh ok so. there was a little boba tea place right by my old school, and i would go there on friday afternoons with my friends. and we would sit there, and it felt a little like magic, bc we'd just talk and exist. and they always played music, and it felt very coming-of-age-teen-movie esque to have a soundtrack to nostalgia and good memories. so i would go there with friends from my old school because it closed permanently during the pandemic, and that would be amazing to get to go one last time.

if you could go anywhere with anyone right now, where would it be and who would you choose? leaning into your yearning, is there a love language that isn't one of the typical ones? ie uh,,, murder? i saw a post about that once fslkdj (this technically counts as a new question i swear- even though i've already asked about love languages) what was the last thing that gave you gender envy? - 🌵

ice cream cake... hmm it depends honestly !!! like, it's either soooo good or just. no. usually i like it though!! what about you?

omg you know what i have time... i absolutely should.

sdhgafgjahdfiksj looking at the stars is just !!!!! !! !!!!!

LISTENING TO MUSIC. BESTIE. YOUR DESCRIPTION IM LOSING MY SHIT. "you have these beautiful packages of pretty sounding poetry that you can hand to someone and it's something so ordinary and small but you're exchanging words that you can't yet say yourself <3" HHHHH SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I WILL CRYYYYY. i swear to god sometimes im starting to know someone and then i listen to music and i come across a song and im like !!! person <3 so yeah i get what ur saying and AHHHHHH best answer you win

hhh watching the sunset is literally amazing dude oh my god. wait yeah that's such a vibe dude. oh my god hang on let me just like. invent a time machine for u, okay? u need to go back there right now. right nOW.

i'd go back to camp with all the people i wanted to be closer to and didn't have time to talk to as much :) or maybe i'd go on a road trip with friends. i don't know. that would be fun. ok no im thinking a lot about this now yes okay road trip. a bunch of people packed into the car and you're fighting over who gets to choose music even though you all love each other's tastes and playlists and you'll play a bunch or the same songs anyway... singing super loudly or just sitting in vibey silence, totally comfortable. one person falling asleep and everyone donating hoodies as pillows/blankets... having conversations about everything and nothing, just to pass the time because there's so much of it... seeing the light stream through the window of the car and it hits their hair perfectly and you just love them all so much and you know these are your favorite people in the world and hhhh okay this is too much actually !!

murder is such a love language actually !! but uhhh i guess another one would be like, preparing. y'know, 'you absolute idiot, the forecast literally said it was going to rain, why didn't you bring a jacket? anyway i knew you were gonna do this so here's an extra i brought just for you.' or like, 'i know you can't read in the car so here i downloaded a couple playlists and podcasts that you like.' or 'oh, you want to write something down? here's an extra pen i brought. just in case.' or even just 'here, i got extra because i knew you'd be hungry.' i don't know, just the idea of knowing someone so well you know what they will and won't do and you can prepare for it and make them happier !! it makes me so happy :) this makes no sense im sorry

the last thing that gave me gender envy was uh. the mushroom emoji on discord. it's just so BRIGHT and ROUND i want that energy.

what is one of your non typical love languages !!! do you get gender envy more from people or from random things? are you a heavy or light sleeper? what's your favorite room in a house and why? what would your ideal vacation be (i have no idea if i've asked this already but my rambles about road trip inspired me)?

[imaginariumrpc]

okay so the lovely @imbicilite​ / @whitrph​ and i were talking and it gave me the idea and we thought it was a great idea to spread it around so here’s how it goes: when talking with someone about pretty much anything tbh, but especially for something that could potentially be triggering, communicate with color codes based on city traffic lights ! GREEN means it’s good to talk about these things and you’re not feeling triggered by the topic, YELLOW means to slow down or stop talking about the topic at for now while RED means to stop the conversation about the topic immediately until green again where the conversation can divert into another topic or they feel safe to talk about it again !! this is EXTREMELY important, because it’s a way to alert others that you’re going to be talking about something that could possibly upset someone because of the subject matter, especially for those who may get triggered by a certain topic - even without you realizing it because squicks and triggers can honestly be anything, it could be different words or phrases or certain topics - and can cause severe anxiety in those affected, even panic attacks or flashbacks, and because we want to be considerate and respectful towards one another, it’s important that we use these to help our friends and fellow rpers know that we’re going to be posting or talking about something they might not want to see or talk about, and it’s of utmost importance to make them feel safe, it’s best to use this to be a more supportive friend and a member of the rpc!!

on a sidenote, i’m also here to tell you about tone indicators !! keep in mind that i didn’t come up with nor invent the concept of tone tags itself, but it was being spread around for a while now and i’d figured i’d talk about it !! essentially, tone indicators are used to indicate if the person is joking, being serious, etc., neurodivergent people often have trouble conveying and understanding emotion and tone through written text, using tone indicators is really helpful for neurodivergent people to make it easier for them to read/convey, it is also very helpful for people with anxiety. i encourage anyone who reads this to also type the meaning of the tone tag ( i.e: i love you !! /p for platonic ), so it is more accessible for neurodivergent and disabled people, like those who use screen readers.

“why should we use tone tags?” one might ask, but as an autistic, disabled and otherwise neurodivergent person myself, sometimes i don’t always get my friends and fellow mutual’s tones by their message but when they use tone indicators, it helps me understand and, not to mention that it can be really helpful and avoid misunderstandings. i would also like to note that NOT ALL neurodivergent people want you to use tone indicators on them, so if they don’t want you to use tone tags on them, please respect their wishes.

“i don’t like tone tags!” one might add, well, okay... but don’t make fun of the people that use them, it’s not a big deal, and if you’re a neurotypical who insists on not using tone tags when a neurodivergent person clearly asked you to, get your head out of your ass.

“using /j at the end of a joke ruins it!!” one might bitch, and okay but... it might be ruined for you, but it still makes me laugh, personally, so please try and get used to it, and not to mention, what’s more important: making sure you’re clear with your tone so that there’s no misunderstandings or throwing a fit just because the joke’s ruined for you?

additionally, some other things to keep in mind !! please do not mock the use of tone tags, you may not need them but some people do, not everyone can tell when something is a joke, when someone’s either being platonic, romantic or sexual in intentions, etc.,, especially when there’s no visual cues or tones of voice to help us, just be nice about it, it’s... really not hard, man. if you don’t use a tone tag and someone reads the tone of your statement incorrectly, do not get upset with them or laugh at them for not getting it - that is perpetuating ableism and/or sanism, whether you intentionally intend it or not. just kindly clarify and next time, keep in mind that tone tags are very helpful for neurodivergent, disabled and people with anxiety disorders. using a tone tag isn’t an excuse to be mean either, you can’t just say something mean or not cool and then put /j ( “joking” ) after it to get away with it, don’t be an ass. if you’re saying something that could be anxiety inducing for others, i would highly recommend putting the tone tags at not only the end but also the beginning of that post. do not intentionally use tone tags incorrectly “as a joke”, to confuse people, etc., the entire point of tone tags is to clarify, not confuse people, if you intentionally use them incorrectly, you’re an ass. keep in mind that no one has to use all the tone tags, use what you’d like, respect others who use what they would like, use them however feels rights to you. for me personally, sometimes i use multiple, sometimes only one, or sometimes none at all, just do what feels right, depending on who i’m talking to and how long i’ve known this person or group of people i’m speaking to, it’ll be fine, and if someone asks for clarification on what you mean, that’s okay, kindly clarify for them. additionally, please be patient if people don’t know what tone tags are, someone might not even be aware of what they are and that’s not their fault, just patiently explain it to them or link them to a source !! education always helps !! please don’t use “/srs or serious” as a joke, some neurodivergent and/or disabled people don’t need you to use three tone tags, and in my case, i’m presuming you’re neurotypical if you’re doing that when conversing with me, but what i’m trying to say is it looks like you’re babying us neurodivergents / disabled folx, so try to use only two tags ( that is, if that person is okay with it !! ), because some people don’t need you to use three tags.

please note that the following aren’t every single example out there and there are different terminologies in different languages, but they are important, a few examples of these are: 

“/j = joking / used when saying something in a joking manner, “so im pretty much the president of oreos /j”, 

“/hj = half joking / used when saying something that’s kind of a joke but kind of serious / “well,,,,, im usually right /hj” / 

“/s or /sarc / refers to the opposite of what you really want to say / “i just [clenches fists] love...... being sad..... /s”, 

“/srs / used when saying something you really mean / “i really appreciate you /srs””, 

“/nsrs = not serious / used when saying something not too seriously / “you’re the worst /nsrs”, 

“/lh = lighthearted = used when something’s said lightheartedly / “hEY LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS /lh” / i’d say something like this when me and my friends would get into a silly argument and they’re trying to ask my opinion on a topic”, 

“/ij = referring to something that’s only understood by people with special knowledge about something, typically only a small group of friends or a group of people would be aware of, those outside of the group would most likely be confused by it or not find it funny in the same way people within in the group would / “aAAAAAAAAA MY NUGGIES!!!!! /ij””, 

“/ref = a reference to media, usually movies, tv, music, etc., “yOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAAASSSSSSS /ref”, 

“/t = teasing, use when teasing someone or provoking someone, often playfully, “aiight sure mx idk wtf im doin /t”, 

“nm = not mad, to indicate you’re not actually mad or upset about something / “ow... i felt that /nm”, 

“lu = a little upset / used when about about something or someone, but not too upset / “oh... that sucks /lu”, 

“/nbh = “nobody here” = often used when talking about something vague to ensure your friends it’s not indirectly to or about them / “sometimes i just wanna..... tell someone to shut the fuck up /nbh”, 

“/nay = not at you / used when saying something but not meaning it at the person you’re responding to / “god i can’t stand lame people /nay”, 

“/ay = “at you”, make the person aware you’re addressing them”, 

“/g or /gen = used when saying or asking something for real / “i’m proud of you /g” or “have you watched the news?? /gen”, 

“/th = threat, used when giving a genuine threat / “if you don’t stop, i’ll block you /th”, 

“/p = platonic, a friendship type of love, used when saying something with platonic intentions / “i love you /p”, 

“/r = romantic intentions, typically of partners when saying something with romantic intentions / “i love you /r””, 

“/a = alterous, an attraction best described as wanting emotional closeness without necessarily being at all or entirely platonic and/or romantic, used when saying with alterous intentions / “i love you /a””

“/m = metaphor / used when saying something metaphorically / “god you’re a shining star /m””

“/li = literal / used when saying something literally / “i hate pears /li””

“/rh = rhetorical / a question asked in order to create a dramatic effect or to make a point rather than to get an answer / used when saying or asking something rhetorically / “who cares? /rh””

“/hyp = hyperbole, exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally ; “i have a million things to do today”

“/sx = sexual intent, used when meaning something in a sexual way”, 

“/nsx = nonsexual intent, used when meaning something in a not sexual way”, 

“/pos = positive / used when saying something and meaning it in a positive way / “omg im gonna cry /pos”, implied they’re crying for a happy reason”, 

“/neg = negative / used when saying something and meaning it in a negative way / “omg im gonna cry /neg”, implied they’re crying for an upsetting reason”, and 

“/neu = neutral / used to show that what you’re saying is neutral or that you feel indifferent about it / “yeah i don’t care man do what you want /neu”, you don’t care about something but not in a mean or a negative way, you’re just indifferent”.

on a final note, HERE is a list of tone tags both in english and in other languages ( namely italian, spanish, portuguese, french, polish, german, lithuanian, serbian, dutch, indonesian, romanian, bulgarian, russian, hebrew, japanese, mandarin and korean !! ) and HERE are the list of sources about the content of tone tags !! i wish everyone reading this a lovely day !!

[thesmallcast]

Friend Code.

When it comes to communication, I am not the greatest at expressing myself or telling others how I feel. I get worried about what people think - what I’m going to say may be embarrassing or trivial.  I do harp on that I worry about what others think of me I think it’s important for me to clarify... that I do care but I’m not consistently always thinking about it . This blog is my forum to talk about those moments and time. To step back and look into it and scope the whole perspective of those involved and not just thinking about myself!  So let me be clear I have strengths and I have my weaknesses and for me, they are pretty black and white (I will be posting these soon - with a feature of friends insights) 

I just don’t get how I can be completely open about some things but completely shut off about others. I like to play the cool guy with exciting and adventurous stories who comes across as laid back yet i do caught up on little things and hate feeling certain feelings - it can spiral me down into a hole which makes me feel worse! Part of my issue is that with certain friendships and relationships, I have had, I set expectations of how I expect people to act, react or treat me and get taken back when it doesn’t go to plan - I almost struggle to explain it in writing what my thought process is or how it makes me feel though I have summarised it the best I can.

In March, I was back in my homeland, when I got back to Australia, one of my best mates was distant and hadn’t been in touch. I could sense that she was off but I also was too. I felt a bit off about a few things that took place and they were putting me out of place and I guess I expected things to be a certain way and they weren’t. I was looking at situations one-sided and getting wrapped up in expectations and emotions. We ended up having an hour phone chat to talk about our thoughts, feelings and emotions toward another and although best mates we had never opened up like that before. It was confronting but so refreshing.

To set the back story. It played out in two stages.

Stage 1:

A group of my girls went to dinner, SP was running late due to traffic and the rest of the girls were already seated at the table. I was super excited to see her and we give each other a big hug. As soon as she got there, my expectations kick in, expecting that she would ask me how my day was, or how I was going .... but she started a conversation over me and I could feel myself falling into a funk’

(I would describe my ‘funks’ as me being quiet, reserved, distant, non-communicative, cold, short, sometimes snappy. I let off a grumpy fine. That vibe when you ask your partner if they are ok and they say ‘im fine’ but in there head thoughts, emotion and clocks are ticking over. )

Now my self-analysis of this situation

My expectation wasn’t met - I was self-absorbed and only thinking of number 1

She hadn’t seen the other girls in a couple of weeks ( and we talk every day)

Maybe I felt jealous that I didn’t get her undivided attention

I instantly closed up and felt myself going quiet and overthinking! In my head, I’m panicking and trying to self-assess which is harder at the time and in a moment. I whispered over and asked, “We are all good right ?!, I just want to double check for my own reassurance”. She confirmed “Yeah of course”. 

*Back to normal*.

This is one of my biggest challenges I sometimes close off and wind up in this awkward funk and not sure how to address it at the time. I was pretty impressed with myself at dealing with it so fast. However, when SP closed these issues out over the phone the following week she told me how it made her feel. She said it makes her feel uncomfortable when I close off, she doesn't know how to act towards me without setting me off. “ I sometimes feel like I'm walking on eggshells around you”.I actually thought  “Wow, you know what I’ve never thought how does that make others feel, or what they are thinking “. My funks can be unpredictable but it was a bit of an eye opener really. I never have stopped to think about how anyone else is feeling while I’m funking and how they feeling. Though it’s sometimes really hard for me to get out of it. Not all my friends have experienced this side of Sam and it probably would be something they wouldn’t imagine I would get like. 

Stage 2:

We had a party at our friend's house for St Paddy’s. I have no issues partying while being sober however if I feel left out or experience any emotion it’s not hidden with alcohol and I have to deal with it. On this particular night, I had felt the feeling of being “left out” - over something so small I didn’t know how to address it. SPK took a photo with our friend LH and I felt excluded because she didn’t want one with me. I couldn’t understand why! ( But I also didn’t ask). The next day after, SP posted the photo of her and LH to Instagram and I noticed SP never posts pictures with me. My instant thought process; Is she embarrassed by me, Am I not good enough, is it because of how I look? Silly right and so sad my mind went straight to that thought process ( Will delve into that another day). I did mention this in our discussion and she confirmed... I'm silly. I am usually the one posting photos and didn't even cross her mind. 

I later found out that I had made a comment while playing a drinking game which had made SP a bit upset with me.  It was a game where you built a word with each player saying a letter. We had already spelt “S-A-M”. LH directed SP with the next letter  “What did you go to today”, thinking the sample sale that they had been too. She was trying to give her the letter “P”.  I said, “What is something you smoke”. I knew immediately it was the most foolish thing to say in a group of friends. It’s so common for people to be smoking P back home these days and I know that a few people in that house that night had experimented. It was unfair of me to make the comment and it made her immediately feel awkward. I didn’t even think. 

When SP and I addressed these issues she felt like I was singling her out. The comment was uncalled for but I would have made it without thinking to anyone there. She had a point, I do single her out and she even confronted me. “What makes you act this way”. She said that I wouldn’t treat anyone else like that from the group. I couldn’t immediately answer on it because it’s true I do single out my best mates more. Jealousy? Possession? Attention? Expectations? I’m still trying to work on this. I remember having a meltdown as my best friend SG, was hanging out with another girl and not giving me any attention while I was with my then boyfriend. I recall him saying that he wanted me to care about him the way I cared about my friend which I didn’t’ ...until he pulled away.

SP and I have been friends since high school, we got closer when we left school and she has been there for me through ALOT. She even flew over to Sydney to spend a weekend with me when I was going through a really rough patch. She is someone I can tell anything to without getting judged. She is always so truly supportive. We have never taken the time to discuss each others feeling before, primarily hers. I never had asked. “How does it make you feel”. We are both so different in character. I learnt so much about this conversation and her being open and upfront about her feelings! I think it made me feel better as it made me deal with other situations better and almost resolved any feelings of jealousy immediately as there’s no reason to feel that way! Jealously is how you lose friends and lovers ... not keep them.

The conversation was initially confronting but also just what I needed to hear. I can be so oblivious and stuck in a certain behaviour. I self-reflect were I can and identify triggers and those pinch points. I also appreciate it when someone points it out to me as well. It's just like a workplace setting - How are you to improve and get better if you don’t do a self-assessment and get constructive feedback?. I'm truly blessed to have this chick in my life. We have gone through some little fights here and there but it only makes us stronger individuals and we also learn for next time.