#no i dont think either of those words are applicable

[papasmoke]

but i have heard people make the point “you’re more helpful alive than you are dead” yes its powerful he self immolated in stand for Palestine but he could’ve used his body in other ways that would make a literal impact like block the trucks/boats sending the ammunition, going to protests, etc. i could see why people think what he did was selfish/foolish and i don’t know why that’s a controversial take.

All I have to say to this at-best ignorant view is

[skyllion-uwu]

Am I nauseous because I'm hungry or because I triggered myself last night

[beelzeballing]

actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

anyone else struggling to come to terms with their identity ? i know im fictoromantic (and i dont feel romantic attraction to other real people) but im scared its cringe or weird so i pretend im not most of the time

im sure i cant be the only one right 😭 ?

You're definitely not the only one. A lot of aro spectrum people struggle with accepting their identity, and I think microlabels especially tend to get targeted by less accepting people and bad faith actors.

My first big of advice is if you do see people going after microlabels, block liberally and use filters where applicable to avoid seeing those posts. The opinions of people who target other people's identity are not ones that matter and you'll be missing out on nothing by hiding them.

Second, seek out fictoromantic positivity. Do a tumblr search, check tags, and reblog or save your favourites somewhere you can go back and regularly look at them. Follow ficto people and people who post supportive things about ficto people.

Your identity is not cringe, microlabels like fictoromantic give people words for experiences they were already having and helps them find other people with similar experiences. You probably already know this logically, but it can be hard to learn it emotionally. Writing out positive things about the fictoromantic label or being fictoromantic, or saying it to yourself while looking in a mirror can help bridge that gap.

If you want to use more general labels (either with some people or everyone) to avoid being mocked that is allowed, it's always up to you to decide how much of your identity you want to share, and with who. If you don't trust people to be respectful, you don't have to share your identity, or your full identity. Though of course if you want to be loud and proud, that's good too, but be aware you have a choice in the matter and you're allowed to do what feels right to you.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

[dragonji]

having a mome

ever since talking about [redacted postcanon events] with charlie ive been musing on what jyt and qyz would call each other and well. tonight its just making me very ill in the head a bit and I shrimply need to get it written out somewhere apologies in advance♡

So to begin. JYT would start with calling QYZ Your Highness/Qi Ying bc ascension is a comparitively new situation for him on top of preexisting social uncomfortableness making him default to referring to people by their titles or ranks whenever appropriate. And QYZ obv doesnt really care about titles so even though he knows JYT has one (General Qing Liu btw) he'd just call them by full name. JYT tries very hard to not let on how happy that makes him and only mostly succeeds [smiles peacefully].

Now (as in later postcanons as of timeline of charlies work as well as beyond) I am rather stuck on how to make their forms of address more intimate without verging into ooc-ness for either of them.... Neither of them are much for overly-sweet petnames I would think. With QYZ I dont think he sees a point in using 'random' words to refer to someone he's affectionate towards; JYT just has a deeply thin face for romance and the aforementioned social anxieties. Despite that I do think JYT would start using nicknames first- hes more liable to playfully or exaggerately use a nickname to test out how QYZ reacts where QYZ would just charge ahead with whatever name he finds fitting if/when he wants to call someone something different.

Some handful of years after theyve been acquainted and have formed their sparring routine JYT would feel safe enough to risk calling QYZ by name too (for the first instance picture end of a sparring session both peacefully laying in the dust catching their breath staring at the sky. JYT gathering themself enough to recklessly give a quick nervous "Thanks for today, Quan Yizhen !" before Bolting. He has to go wander around a forest in the mortal realm for a bit after that one to recover meanwhile QYZ is sitting at the sparring grounds like I wonder what their deal is today?? before shrugging it off. They have a conversation about it the next day where JYT cant stop fidgeting before he apologies for not asking before dropping the title and QYZ tells him it literally doesnt matter he prefers when people use his name anyways. And thats That♡). Eventually (5-15 years later maybe?) they would drop to just given names and likely keep using those for a long time.

All that said the safest option to JYT would be smth along the lines of 阿真 (A-Zhen) esp at first when he's unsure of how it'll be received. But I am Also finding it more and more captivating to maybe have JYT call him 小狼 (Xiao Lang) once in a while mainly while theyre alone if that doesnt sound too unfounded..... JYT likes wolves already and its also personal fulfillment to me as (spoilers for my furry tgcfverse) I have also made QYZ a wolf in all my furry versions😌 (Maybe when QYZ asks why JYT chose to call him that they would respond along the lines of "wolves are pretty and strong and cool and loyal just like you... even if people dont understand them well! Plus theyre cute and fluffy *pauses to run his hands through QYZ's hair* so I just thought it might fit^^" and QYZ hums a pleased note in return and they go back to napping all cuddled around each other Ok Moving On we're getting too romantic!!-)

Ahem likewise I've been considering having QYZ call JYT 涛涛 (Taotao) on occassion bc it seems cute and also more likely for QYZ to just double the syllables for a straightforward nickname where applicable. I mean having him call JYT Yongtao is already close enough to a nickname seeing as no one else does but maybe just as extra flavor here n there...... Perhaps something involving JYT's association with rabbits or dragons would be possible too/instead? Or perhaps I am simply projecting my furryisms a bit too on-the-nose there... Honestly could just have it be Tao-xiong if I wanted to keep the subtle are they comrades or yknow comrades vibe lol... in the words of my friend nie huaisang I dont know, I really dont know!!!

[cryptidjeepers]

there are literal writing assistant apps and websites that i have been using for years to proof read/check grammar (after i proof read myself) that use ai technology (and some dont) in the sense that it is an artifical intelligence program designed specifically for that and not a random generative ai program. and sometimes, theyre not 100% accurate either. nano and pro ai people constantly conflate specifically programmed ai applications with generative ai and think they have the same ethical use??? me using a word count website to check my grammar and readability is an assistive tool i used throughout my entire school career. i never fucking used it to write my work. Ai as a tool (not generative ai) should not add onto your work outside of missing words and grammar. but those programs have existed for yearssss and thats so clearly not what nanowrimo is referring to. (also you wouldnt need to defend the use because like i said, it's not writing for you) people trying to defend their stance are being obtuse on purpose, i swear.

[whosmaggy]

maggy!

The people wish to know your study tips. How do you manage to amass the study time of a newborn lamb yet have the same grades as a person studying 300 hours a day?? What are your secrets??? Or is it just witchcraft????

curiously,

-bro😛🍦💦🧠

hi bro. I DO STUDY!

but really the main tip i have to give out (other than the one in my pants) is that sleep is the most inportant thing. i have good memory, ive had it since childhood, but to keep it good you must get enough sleep. and not naps. a full 8-9 hours! your brain needs it. rem sleep gives your brain time to organize and store all the information it gained thru the day. a couple of 30 minute naps wont do the trick. its also important for your body and emotions. sleep is like a cleanse, its the one thing that really resets you.

next, go to all your lectures and pay attention!!. i rarely take notes in lectures (unless the prof doesnt post them, which all but 1 of mine do) because i pay attention to what the prof is saying. this is rlly personal but multitasking isnt for me. i either take good notes or i pay attention. for most profs paying attention is going to give you a better understanding. for my notes i will either write them before class or i will write them after. for a few classes i dont write notes (the slides are good or most of the content is practice problems).

be smart with your studying. each subject is different but for most stem courses the best technique imo is: go over the notes and note down the main topics, go over the practice problems to understand how and why they are written, go thru the methods used to solve the problem, go back thru the notes but this time comparing the implementation of problem solving methods to the theory of them, lastly make your good copy notes with a section on theory, method, application and cases where things arent applicable, and write out a compeleted example problem that covers a lot of the topics (i like using the last problem provided cause it usually is the longest and has the most stuff) and write down the steps to solve a general problem. this varies from subject to subject but for stem courses i feel like its the best way to organize your notes.

UNDERSTAND THE CONTENT!! you can study for an exam and do really well on it but if you dont actually understand what you learned and its relevence/use you will have a harder time in the future as the course builds. this isnt that important for random courses that dont have much to do with what you are studying, but for courses that are intergal to your degree you need to understand the content. if you dont understand it, figure out way (maybe slides are worded badly, the proper theory behind things isnt given), and then find ways to fill those gaps in understanding. i have a few youtubers that give me good info about my courses but depending on ur style of learning you might prefer to go to office hours, a tutor, read papers.

MOST IMPORTANTLY!! enjoy what you are learning. i have never been sad when i have done badly, because i know i had fun learning and that i got better at critical or mathimatical thinking becuase of it. changing your attitude will do lots to make studying fun.

lastly, everyone has different styles of studying. i hate studying in public places, my best studying is done criss cross apple sauce in my bed. i study for 30 minutes with a 5 break if i need to pee or smth but otherwise i will go for like 3 hours straight until i get hungry. you might get bored after 10 minutes. find what works for you, keep track of the methods you use and their outcomes.

happy learning!

studiously,

Maggy 📚

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

i think im gonna start a series called "Kaiden-Shenandoah's random life tips" bc there's just some odd things i do that make my life easier/more enjoyable. that. like. i dont think make me special?? but most of my loved ones i babble to, when i mention them, will look surprised and be all "damn, that's clever. that's an issue i never thought about, but yeah, i can see how thatd help others/myself. ill have to remember that"

so. this post is all JUST IN CASE it helps someone, even just one person, then the effort will have been entirely worth it. bc sometimes living life is hard and sometimes you just need to hear someone say "oh, what about this possible solution?" to help you out by applying such to your routines or use that suggestion as foundational inspiration for something more customized to your own life or whatever else— just to make living life that little bit easier. and if me sepcifically needing a lot of "oddball" solutions and pre-cautions helps others??? that makes me feel awesome (and less alone), so hell yeah, ill do my best to remember as many tips as i have and be consistent about posting them within this thread. just in case and all that jazz ✌️

(and, even tho this likely DOES NOT need to be said out loud, ill say it anyway as my own proverbial "Bill of Rights" style just-have-it-written-down-in-case-the-worst-happens-in-the-future (but hope for the best) PSA: if these dont apply to you?? or if you think "wtf, people need help with this?? our generation/the next generation is doomed"??? maYHAPS THIS POST ISN'T FOR YOU. this is applicable only to people with lifestyles and/or brains that are similar to me and my loved ones. if you arent of that lifestyle or brain-typage, then thats that lol of course you cant relate. it's an "apples and oranges" thing, y'know. not better/worse or special/normal; just different. it's not something you need, and that's super okay. just don't be rude about the difference. if youd like to be kind and reblog anyway in case any followers or loved ones of yours could be helped by any of this?? that's so fantastic. some of this stuff has some really bad internalized shame about it, or else people have been conditioned to just "keep that to themself; don't talk about it", and either way some of these topics (not all, but still) have people who are hiding their struggle from others as best they can. you don't know what you don't know; and you don't know what people don't tell you. so it's very generous of you, as someone who cant relate to some/all of this stuff, to reblog just in case one of those silent strugglers follow you and/or are a part of your inner-circle. thank you so much for sympathizing with struggles you know your life as is doesn't share and thank you for being kind ♡)

i dont expect this to be helpful to EVERYBODY, and def feel free to just screenshot what is valuable to you and abandon this actual post (just pls dont crop my name out, esp if you end up re-posting your copy to your own blog or on different social-media elsewhere. bc credit is nice lol) bc i assume this will become a long/repetitive post as i update on/off. and most people dont like long posts lmao rip so you dont gotta reblog it if you hate long/repetitive posts or are worried about your followers disliking any long/repetitive post (besides: ill sometimes make one-offs not attached to this post, probably. esp since im forgetful and tumblr is broken/i lose things easily. but ill try to reblog this one for most of them, since thats easier organization for my brain 🫶 lmao)

(but yeah i only have three ideas i wanna do today, but ill come back to this whenever i remember another one ive done thats been helpful to me and/or that i created alongside a loved one that helped them lol)

also pls note that i am dyslexic and do not plan on editing any of this too seriously. so forgive me for mispellings, for forgetting an entire word, and so on. this is me being very casual, so ill inevitably miss some mistakes i make and whatnot

hugs and kisses xoxo best wishes see you later babe

[ask-cinnavanillamelody]

Lowkey, Sagi would probably do well as a BDSM Dom, either just for a single partner, or in one of those kink clubs (do those exist irl? i've only ever seen them in BL manhwa)...

He shows he can restrain himself to a moral code, and a big part of safe and healthy BDSM is the dom and sub setting boundaries of what is and isn't okay + setting up a safe-word for both parties to break the roleplay if and when it becomes too much.

He can get a good fear fix from someone who is an active and consenting participant.

Personally in real world application, i dont think that just because a criminal did bad things, that they deserve physical harm (in most cases, there are outliers and room for nuance) but i do understand the reasoning in-universe. This is just a lil smth smth I thought about as an alternative on my end ^^

Lightning x Sagi is one of my new favorite ships

-Mod Bee 🐝

I like your thinking Bee! Perhaps that will be what happens ;3 🍫

[irlbkgs]

💖🎃🧸 for the ask game? with any f/os you wanna talk about !! :]

💖 - what's the nicest compliment they've ever given you? what's the nicest compliment you've ever given them?

adrian: sooo he kind of word vomits all the time which means a lot of his compliments are just like. jumbles of words that don't really make sense. that being said because he does word vomit a lot and he's naturally very affectionate that means there's like. no end to the compliments even if they're really simple or dumb. i think probably the nicest compliment he's given me was probably saying for how often i act stupid im actually not and he appreciates that at least at times i can help him with things he has little to no experience with. even if he's older he's still got things he knows nothing about.

as for nicest compliment ive given him its really hard to say because im not much of the type to compliment, it either makes me feel really shy or like i dont know if the words im using are right so i just Dont. but i def try more with my partners bc ik its unfair to never compliment them, especially in adrian's case bc he does it all the time. i try to give him little ones just on his appearance and stuff but i think the one he probably appreciated most was just me telling him he's fucking fantastic at dnd. like dming or playing a character, he's great at roleplaying and voices and coming up with things to move the plot along and memorizing actions and spells etc etc. im fucking dogshit at all of it so its like watching the grandmaster of nerd shit do his thing and not break a sweat. very cute but also very impressive.

daryl: now for daryl, we're both on the same page with compliments. he doesn't know how to choose the right words and he isnt very good with emotional stuff so his compliments mostly consist of "you look pretty" if i dress up or "good job" whenever that's applicable. one of the compliments that he's given me that rly stuck out tho was literally just him appreciating me being patient with him bc i wouldn't consider myself a patient person in general but when it comes to emotional stuff i try to give him as much grace as possible bc i also want some myself. we're both super stunted in that department so i try to be lenient lol

nicest compliment ive given him is probably in a similar vein, ive thanked him at least a couple times for taking care of me bc he really doesnt have to but its something that really feels special to me bc i cant remember the last time ive had somebody actually do that for me. actions speak louder than words for me as well so simple shit like letting me get extra rest, cooking and cleaning up make me just as happy as a compliment.

🎃 - have you guys ever carved pumpkins together? do you visit a pumpkin patch, or buy one from the store? or maybe you grew it? what would your pumpkins look like?

adding billy to this one bc its halloween stuff lul

billy: obviously he's a big halloween guy but funnily enough i wasnt allowed to celebrate halloween growing up for religious reasons so stuff like carving pumpkins feels special but also very tedious to me bc there's zero nostalgia and i dont think billy would care much for that specific tradition either. i might drag him out to the patch to pick out some pumpkins for decoration but carving isnt likely to happen. apple picking however...he complains but he helps bc if he doesnt he gets no pie :>

if we did carve, his design would be way more detailed and better looking than mine. itd be like contest worthy. id just do one of those store bought designs and somehow butcher it anyways.

adrian: he is big on carving pumpkins!! but bad at it!! just as bad as me so its a lot of throwing guts at each other and then ruining our pumpkins so bad we cant even display them. we'd roast the seeds for a snack tho :3

daryl: we would not be doing allat but we would (if we could) watch some movies. im thinking alexandria era us would involve a lot of picking up any movies we find on runs and just watching anything we have, even if it has nothing to do with halloween. if we did have halloween movies, daryl would fucking haaaate my picks but deal with it bc he looooves me and id hate his too so its okay. he's def more of a serious horror fan whereas i like horror comedy.

🧸 - it's valentine's day! what stereotypical valentine's day gift does your f/o give you? a box of chocolates, perhaps a stuffed animal?

billy: at best, jewelry, maybe some plain little silver chain with his initial (possessive much?) but besides that i think he wouldn't go with a classic gift. he'd get movies, merch, knives, but roses? stuffies? god no. and i don't even like chocolate so that's def out of the question.

adrian: flowers for sureeee and possibly a stuffie if he was feeling extra. he'd get flowers with my favorite colors (pink and green) but he'd make sure they didn't mean anything bad before he got em bc he's slightly superstitious. stuffie would be of the hello kitty or skelanimals variety.

daryl: also probably wouldn't do a classic gift, but is again partial to jewelry. it would be nothing fancy, just a bracelet, but it would be handmade which would make it way more special. he'd get help from carol who probably learned to do stuff like that with sofia.

[prettyboykatsuki]

i’m curious, what do you think about grooming and incest fics? because i know a lot of people dislike it and just refuse to read it which is very understandable

do you view it as ‘bad’ or ‘disgusting’ ect.? i genuinely would like to know at least another person’s opinion/perspective because as a person who has read a few both grooming and incest fics i don’t view it in that way

and also, have you read at least one of these? You definitely don’t have to answer of course.

i was debating answering this because i dont know if it's being asked in good faith but i think it is.

i want you to stop yourself from using the words bad and disgusting in this context because fictional storytelling's broad application of "taboo" subjects can't be fit coherently into subjective ideas of good and bad.

grooming and incest are bad and disgusting in real life. but reading about them and the ethics of reading about them are completely separate from that application. of course people can be uncomfortable with those concepts showing up in a story because they are bad and disgusting and real life

but someone can write a story about either of these and using them in a compelling, narratively interesting way. if you've watched CSM to any capacity, you've read a story about grooming (often explicitly sexual in nature) and it's effects. that portrayal makes denji a compelling and sympathetic character. incest can be used to demonstrate other dynamics like loneliness, betrayal, solace etc.

the act of reading stories that might contain such taboo things isn't an intrinsically disgusting thing to do much in the same way that watching a horror-slasher doesn't make you a serial killer in the making. so if that's what you're asking, then no - i don't think simply reading a story that portrays either of these things is disgusting. it's just a story.

and yes, i probably have / would read a story that has them

[pluralprompts]

kins and headmates are not the same thing. "kin" (otherkin/therian/fictionkin) has nothing to do with systems/plurality and i would seriously suggest you avoid putting the kin tag on posts that are supposed to be about plurality/systems. we already get told that we're faking it for attention/that its a choice/that its a made up disorder, we really dont need people conflating kin (which is valid but not related to systems at all) with systems. kin and system terms are not interchangeable. if a post is about both then fair game but please do not act like we are the same thing

Are you referring to the post that can be about headmates who are bunnies because they're bunny/rabbit extranths and/or because they're bunnykin/rabbitkin? Or in other words, are you referring to a prompt that can be about 'kin headmates? That's the post you want me to "avoid putting the kin tag on"? ... You do know systems and headmate can be 'kin, right? I find it strange (and kind of insulting) that you think a post about systems that can be interpreted as being about a rabbitkin headmate is conflating systems and 'kin. Again, systems can be otherkin and headmates can be otherkin, and thus I use 'kin tags on prompts that reference, involve, or focus on that, since those tags are relevant for those prompts. This prompt can be used as inspiration to write about a rabbitkin headmate, so the 'kin tag is applicable.

In other words, the post is about both systems and 'kin. It's not conflating terms or communities to take an experience that's shared by both extranths and 'kin and go "here's this thing that you can write about in either context" (not to mention headmates can be both extranths and 'kin at the same time, too). My tags reflect just some of millions of different directions in which a prompt can be taken. In this case, one of the more prominent directions a prompt could be taken is interpreting the headmate in question as rabbitkin, so I tagged the post with "kin" to reflect that. The fact that another likely interpretation of the prompt is to see the headmate in question as a rabbit extranth does not mean I, or anyone else, are implying extranths and 'kin are the same thing, or conflating plurality and 'kinity. It just means the prompt can be interpreted in many different ways.

Honestly, I find it insulting that you think I, a system with various headmates that are otherkin, and whom actively participates in both communities, would be conflating the two just to add extra, unnecessary tags to a post, especially since you can look very quickly and easily at the rest of my blog and find I only use 'kin when it could possibly be applicable to a prompt. This ask also kind of implies you don't think systems or individual headmates can be 'kin, which could be a misunderstanding on either end, but it hurts, to be implicitly denied my own 'kinity due to my plurality, when these are both very important parts of my identity and life. It feels like you saw the 'kin tag and immediately rushed to my inbox to get mad at me without thinking for two seconds. Next time, perhaps take a breath and ask yourself if you're assuming the worst of someone.

Sometimes, a prompt is just about systems, plurals, or specific headmates who happen to be 'kin. Your concerns are unfounded.

Edit: forgot to add that for some folks, their kintypes and headmates are the same thing, and for them, those terms are interchangeable. Some interpret their 'kinity through a plural perspective, or don't draw a hard line between a median headmate and a kintype, for instance. For these people, 'kin has everything to do with systems/plurality, and trying to insist the two are never interconnected is only going to hurt them. I refuse to cast out my fellow 'kin and systems over a single tag on a single prompt, of all things.

[cainightfics]

hello! i think i remember you saying you have a degree in english (if i hallucinated this, please feel free to disregard this ask). this is probably a very silly question, but do you find what you learned from your degree to be helpful when writing fics? or is it mostly not applicable to what you write? anyway, i hope you're doing well! i really like your mr robot works! :)

yeah i do have an english degree!! wow i cant believe u remember that lol. to be honest im lazy as hell and really slacked off throughout my degree... like i read maybe half of the stuff i was assigned lmfao 💀 despite this i managed to get really good grades, graduate with honours, get into a top grad school etc. i was always wayyyy more interested in theory than in literature itself. honestly i think a lot of the "greatest books of all time" people usually mention are either straight up trash or at least overrated as hell. i didnt really learn much from them writing-wise.

the big thing that got me into writing was roleplaying, actually. i used to be in the homestuck fandom (lol) and i was on either msparp or cherubplay every fucking day from ages 13-16. i was addicted to roleplaying lol, i probably wrote like 3-5k words everyday back then. i started writing fanfic but not publishing it around that time as well, and then wrote my first berserk fics around 16-17, which is how i got started on ao3.

in middle school/most of high school, me and my best friend were NOTORIOUSLY the most lazy people in our grade. like she literally pretended to have a learning disability throughout all of elementary school because she didnt want to do any work lol. anyways, in high school, i would literally arrive at school, sleep through my first class, skip the rest of my classes until lunch by either hiding in the library reading fanfic/manga or (if it was warm enough) SLEEPING OUTSIDE ON THE FIELD LMFAOOO, go to lunch, go to my english class in the afternoon (only class i liked), and then spend the rest of the afternoon at starbucks on my laptop roleplaying. i think i had like 90 absences in my first semester of grade 9 lol. i really didnt take school seriously because i knew i could just study for 30 mins before a test and get an A, so my grades were always high anyway-- and then i let my friend (the aforementioned extremely lazy one) copy off me so she didnt flunk out of school.

anyway, in grade 10 the teachers started to get sick of my shit. by this point i was pretty brazen about how much i didnt give a shit about school-- i would bring a blanket to school to nap with, showed up to class drunk, sold cigarettes to people in the parking lot, all sorts of shit. one day i was sleeping in the library and i woke up to the principal standing over me telling me he needed to see me in his office. they basically gave me an ultimatum: either i got my shit together and started putting in effort, or they'd have to start giving me suspensions until i was eventually expelled. i really considered dropping out of highschool at this point. instead, i did all my remaining classes needed to graduate through this online course site-- i did about 2 years of school in 2 months lol. i applied to university on a whim and got in. i was 16 when i started university.

in uni, my schedule changed drastically, and i had less time to roleplay. this is when i started writing fanfics. im not sure if i have a "style" or anything really (maybe you could tell me if i do), but any skill i have with writing comes from those years of roleplaying + lots of fanfic reading. id say the only thing (writing-wise) i really learned from my degree is how to proofread for grammatical errors and what i DONT like/find to be lazy writing.

sorry lol i feel like i always do some bigass story about my life whenever i answer these lol. but thanks for the ask!

[autumnwyvern]

I love your post about salmonids! Do you have any headcanons about new agent 3 and little buddy's relationship?

Aw thanks!

tbh I do mostly for my oc Astera who i sort of forced into being a neo 3 role because it worked well for her character arc (lol) where she found her lil buddy while still living in inkopolis and knew some salmon language from her former life in the octarian army and knew he was in distress and tried to help him which ended up being the catalyst for her saving up and moving to splatsville and so on and so forth. becomes found family. theres a gruff but with a heart of gold steel eel pilot that secretly helps them out. a whole thing

HOWEVER!!! some things that i think are perhaps more universally applicable- Titles! as I mention in this post its likely that little buddy considers that part of his title bestowed upon him by neo 3, but also i do think that the reverse is likely in that lil buddy makes up titles for those he considers part of his clan. at first just neo 3 but perhaps grows to be all of the NSS and even deep cut..? I see their relationship in general as being more sibling-like than parent and child but thats more of a personal preference it can really go either way. Found family aspect is important though!!! you have to trust someone deeply to throw them like a football with that level of confidence. probably. I also like to think that in general neo 3 has picked up on at least some salmon words and little buddy some inklish/octarian in turn. When they speak to each other its probably a weird mix of both. like a bit of a pidgin? I dont know if it counts as a pidgin if its only two people that speak it???

and thats all of the top of my head i probably have more stewing around in there but this post is getting long lol

[oneaneonly]

it actually.. never occurred to me if they end their life then me, and by extension rest of us, never get to say goodbyes either. i never left a note. or anything like that. i dont have anyone to leave it to. nothing in life really matters to me. i feel like, if i had to write Anything to anyone itd be j***. for keeping them… alive? being kind to them even when i and no one else was

i had a rough start. i dont know why i was the way i was. we theorize i learned how to treat them from how the world treated them, but i dont know. when i first got here i was fuck lack of better word a dick. i hated them. i think? i dont know but i was angry. i used to physically beat them up and theyd run away to j*** so scared because of me and that was the only one who could protect them. they didnt make the connection about systems but just knew someone inside of them was beating them up. it was scary because where do you hide? j*** didnt like me for a long time, understandably, because of how i was treating someone they loved. and i was scared of what theyd do to me

i think i discovered guilt (?) but i have spent so long, years now, trying to be different. i dont want to hurt them. and after 2022 i realised how painful it is living in their life. i dont want to say i pity them because they wont like it but its… rough. its insane to live like this. since then ive tried to make their life easier, stand up if applicable, because no one else has and ever will. it sure seems so.

j*** i have an unmoving appreciation for. thats the only person i can trust to handle them with tact and the caution they desire. they are unwavering with their love and, for the first time in their life, they genuinely trust j***. as close as they can get to it i guess.

all that to say… i know i was bad. i know im not really good. i dont have all these emotions like care and empathy and whatever else, i just dont care about most things, im angry sometimes and indifferent always. maybe sometimes im fascinated and elated. theres a lot in this world to see. i think part of me wishes i knew more. but i dont care enough

thank you to those who tried and a big fuck you to those who didnt. im not the gentle one they are and i dont care. fuck you to everyone who put them here. theyll say its their fault but id have half the mind to list every one of you shit stains off by NAME if i didnt worry about their best interests and how itd affect them safety wise. but fuck you. this should be you. you should be the one hunched over in pain. you should be the ones not eating meals because YOU dont deserve it. YOU should be the one cutting yourself with a tape blade for repentance. YOU should be the one planning running away everyday of your life. you should be planning suicides. you should be battling two personality disorders. i dont want to write a kind note because now i realise i have nothing nice to say. fuck you all. fuck all of you. i hope its you instead. that, in death, would make me feel good as fuck

they love their parents, j***, the two people they talk to. anyone else? who am i to say it wasnt about you. see you in hell

an and puri and i dont get along well but i am willing to write notes for them here too, if they wish

[that-kid89]

03.26.2024

numb the pain. <- song of my day

but like a happy day for me? tbh definitely ended on more of high note, a spark of hope after being unemployed for a week now.

i feel like i could write 15 sentences at the same time right now.

madness, insanity, sickness, disturbed, panic.

ecstasy, highs, journeys, toys, wanderlust.

modest, numb, emotional, passive.

literally just writing random words that pop in my head. feels like gonzo clarity. check me if it's narcissism. too much pride.

daily average for screen time on my iphone is 3.5 hours for the 3 days this week.

read and skimmed all the back to my opener post. i initially felt bad, sad, and let down. reading my thoughts of love for heather, but more so my feelings towards my self. talking to myself in this blog, scolding him nearly. listing my needs and realizing where i sit that i made not one attempt at getting those things. were they really needs or just fantasies though.

kinda feelin like fuck all that shit. maybe its the beers and esteem boost from my first hearing back on one the applications i sent out in the last 7 days.

whats always wild to me, is how i can drift off into my dreams, when i'm awake. the rare night where i just daydream and not even sleep. its so crazy to me, and i dont recall talking about that seriously with someone. wish i did with heather. but also the stimulation i get from twist my hair into knots. sometimes it hurts so good. but i get mad when it's really knotted, and i gotta rip it apart, usually with hair being ripped out. insane.

talking about today now. woke up late, but earlier than i thought after falling asleep around 3am. tried not to drink but caved last night and had a few swigs of casamigos followed by a lovely beer. technically counts as today! well i suppose only the events beginning at 12:00am. fuck it, yeah so i woke up, and funny i keep checking my phone for all kinds of notifications. first thing i read was a message from christian on insta about the boat hitting the bridge in baltimore. this is recent to the mass shooting in russia, god damn dark news. still seeing a bunch of posts about necann. i'm glad i've been to events, but felt i had no place going this year. i don't think i've been when working in the industry, but definitely when i was younger. took a much needed shower today and trimmed up. then went to whole foods and petco. nearly bought the exact same things from each store, from i got yesterday. took the amg out though, and always get excited to drive that beast. let it warm up right, cold start was rowdy as always. deffs got some good pops and bangs. fuckin car is so quick too, and so exhilarating. however i did get this great beer as well called "termination". spent a lot of time looking at crafties to get, and ultimately chose this one although it being a triple ipa. 10% abv and damnnnn smooth. i'm on my second one tonight. sipping out the duvel big round chalice that i got from an xmas yankee swap one year. but anyway, getting a hit back on an application from only yesterday was an esteem boost. seems like a company tha could really use my help, and that they'll have a lot of work cut out for me. falling in love a bit quick as i do my homework on them. keeping in my mind that its only a teams meeting planned for next week but was still the first i've heard in a week. this last week has felt like freedom. but also emptiness. i do miss my last job, and still trying to get a good understanding of how it ended. but it feels a lot like the lat time heather and i broke up. i had reached my breaking points with them months ago, and never recovered. but they cite a recent mishandling of a heroin related customer incident at the store, which i can see how they perceive as mishandling, but damn it really felt good to get fired. i just walked out they of my term. instant relief, not much to finalize with them either. anyway

running out of steam with my writing. im glad i did. btw, song of the day came from nowhere. i somehow had the song stuck in the head, and i searched a rough idea of the lyrics with xxxtentacion and nailed it. i've had it on repeat all day since. had it on loop in the car, and had it on loop during this whole session. a classic way i've listened to my favorite x songs, a repetitive lyric design with just guitar chords or sample. feel like he's here with me, just sharing his emotions with me.

came to love his music after a distinct memory of mine, being when i shurgged off his death as i read him to be an abuser in his relationship. came to realize he had remorse in his actions, and was on a mission that i never would found out myself. this girl told me he was one of her favs, and that's when i got into him. his music still took time to grow on me, but ive now listened to most of his music, and i think all of his albums, all the way through, multiple times. 17, ?, skins, bad vibes forever, and some of his early stuff from mixtapes and singles. but yeah, quite a learning and growing experience. ending sentences on the 4 beat, or like a significant strum or beat, just feels so good.

rest in peace jahseh.

thank you for helping me open up my mind in so many ways.

here's to me, and the life i've lived and will continue to complete. excited to see where life takes me. for now, a nostalgic night of no responsibilities, weed and beer.

signing off.