#no i don't want to argue about why i have tattoos and am planning to have lots more

[my-unorthodox-life]

there's a lot of interactions as a tattooed jew in progress that sound like bits from a bad sitcom but the only tattoo visible in my work clothes being a shrimp with an angel halo is probably top of the list

[gracieheartspedro]

Dagger In The Heart

pairing: ellie williams x afab! reader

post about palestine - please be aware and know who your content comes from. this post informs you about the tlou writers and creators, as well as how to help the Palestinian people.

word count: 6.1k words

warnings: MINORS DNI!!! 18+ ty!!! abusive relationship mentioned, reader's bf is a cheating asshole, calls her names, makes comments about weight, talks of cheating, some lowkey cheating from reader, sharing clothes with ellie, ellie is 18+ but her age not specified, talks of hardly eating food at dinner, reader is a bit confused with her sexuality and wants to explore (which is fine!!! and normal!!!), wlw relations, pussy eating, fingering, tribbing, tattoos? lots of tattoos, dirty talk, reader being a bit desperate, getting caught (but not really), mentions of a strap, men being drunk and stupid. that's it. I think.

description: when you get the chance to meet your asshole boyfriend’s family, you take a liking to his sister, ellie. when a conversation about her tattoos turns into talks of what you’re really into, you can’t help but want to explore it more.

author’s note: hi girls, gays, and theys! I am so happy to be bringing this request to you. it was an anon request from july and I just suck at getting my life together to actually write. but here we are. FYI, I don't condone this behavior or cheating. anyway I hope you enjoy. I will also be putting this on my ao3 soon, so if you see it there, don't worry, it's just me (;

“You gotta chill, babe. Your anxiety is giving me anxiety.”

He was never very good with comforting you, so you bite back your snappy comment and just fake a smile.  

You had been dating your boyfriend Matt for almost a year. You two met in your college biology class and really bonded over your love for folk music and Greek food. He had kind eyes, mousy brown hair and the brightest smile you had ever seen. 

At first, you thought this was the best relationship you ever could ask for, but Matt grew distant after four months together. You didn’t know why, but his temper had shown itself one too many times. He fought with you constantly. He was quite jealous. You could never be seen with another boy without accusations of cheating. But every time you two argued, he always came back with an apology and a bouquet of flowers. You could not help but believe you could fix him. 

It had been 10 months, you had to brave meeting his family. Unlike you, his family lived two towns over and he visited them quite often. He was close to his younger brother and mom, so he made a point to see them as much as he could. 

He brought up the idea of meeting them back around the holidays, but you were planning to board a flight and visit your family across the country. He understood but was pretty disappointed you could not try his mom’s infamous pumpkin pie.

You had no excuse when summer came. So here you are, standing with him at his childhood home’s front door as he scrambled to find his keys. 

You were sporting something more dressed up than your normal. Matt loved this one black dress on you, so you decided to wear that with some cute flats. You were sorely regretting the shoe decision, the pointed-toed shoes squeezed your big toe and the arch was not high enough to be comfortable. 

He unlocks the deadbolt and the red door jolts open. You are instantly met with the scent of BBQ and cornbread. His childhood is cozy and lived in. The entrance is lined with shoes, everything from high heels to sneakers that have run through countless puddles. It was a sigh of relief, they were a no-shoes in the house family. You kick off your uncomfortable shoes, holding on to Matt’s shoulder for balance. 

His mom is the first one to enter the hallway to meet you two at the door. She is quite beautiful, her hair darker than Matt’s. She was shorter, wearing a nice blouse and jeans. She welcomes you both with a bear hug and cheers of excitement. When she pulls you out of the embrace, she gets a better look at you. 

“You are more beautiful in person, pictures do not do your gorgeous smile justice,” She remarks, squeezing your hands. 

You shake your head, trying your best not to let out that you are beyond nervous about this entire encounter. “You are too kind, thank you so much for hosting us.”

“Come meet the crew!”

Matt eyes meet yours, noticing how tense you are. You had hoped for him to hold your hand and guide you through this experience, but instead he just nudges you with his shoulder. He brushes by, heading after his mom. 

The hallway opens into a kitchen and living room, which is littered with random strangers who, in some way, resemble your boyfriend. 

His brother, Collin, stands up first from the barstools, racing over to your boyfriend to dap him up. When he glances your way, you just smile and introduce yourself. He extends his hand to shake yours, which you gladly accept. 

His dad is next to stand up from a recliner in the living room. He makes your acquaintance quickly, telling you he’s so glad to finally meet you after months of hearing all about you. 

When he moves away from in front of you, she comes into focus. You had not even noticed her sitting on the couch across the room. 

She’s slender, her dark locks framing her chiseled jawline. She looks like Matt, but more like a person who belongs in a Renaissance painting. Her eyes are a more dimensional brown. She has freckles scattered around her pale complexion, which only added her beauty. 

You do not realize you are gawking until Matt nudges you. “This is my sister, Ellie.”

You blink again, bringing your focus back to the situation. She extends her hand, and that’s when you take notice to her tattoo-filled arms. Her tank top raises a bit and you catch a glance of her midriff, exposing more tattoos littering her abdomen. 

“Nice to meet ya. Heard plenty about you.”

You swallow, taking her hand and shaking it. “I hope good things.”

“No, I only tell her the worst things about you.”

Everyone giggles except you and Ellie. Luckily it is filling the room with enough noise to drown out your thoughts about your boyfriend’s beautiful sister. 

Ellie rolls her eyes before whispering, “Don’t worry, it’s only ever good things, sweet cheeks.”

-

Matt’s dad loves to talk and you can tell it annoys Ellie. You were seated outside on their patio set, drinking some homemade lemonade Matt’s mom was adamant you had. He was helping her with all the sides that were still yet to be made, so you took up Ellie’s offer to check out the backyard space. You did not expect Matt’s dad to come with you two and tell you all about the flower beds he curated. 

But you listened, smiling and nodding while sipping on your tart drink. 

He got occupied with grilling, so you and Ellie were left on the couch near a very used and abused firepit. 

You wait for her to say something. She was truly making you nervous, her eyes trailing you every so often. 

“So, you and Matt met in science class?”

You finally look back at her wandering eyes, “Yeah, he was my biology partner.”

“Gotcha,” She leans forward, putting her elbows on her knees. You do not know what comes over you, but you cannot physically pull your eyes away from her arms as they flex. “You good?”

“I like your tattoos,” You barely manage to say, “They are… hot.”

You want to jump into the unlit firepit for that one. 

No other adjective came to your horny mind? Really?

She giggles, enjoying watching you practically squirm under her gaze. “Thanks, dude. My ex girlfriend was a tattoo artist so I let her practice on me.”

You remember a moment about 5 months ago when Matt mentioned his sister being gay, but for some reason, you finally connect that duh it’s Ellie, you fucking idiot. 

You also remember some choice words he had about her. You remember cringing when he called her a slur and said she could not keep a girl to save her life. You held your tongue and refused to reply.

“That’s awesome,” You scoot closer to her, bridging more of the gap between you two on the couch, “Which one is your favorite?”

She smiles at your intrusion into her space and questions. You realize you two are almost sizing each other up, right in front of her family, your boyfriend’s family. They could easily peek outside of the kitchen windows and see you two eye fucking each other. She leans back, her eyes tracing all the tattoos on her arms. 

Then she laughs. A deep guttural laugh. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” She brings her front teeth down on her bottom lip before speaking up again, “It’s a tattoo I can’t show you.”

“Why not?”

She looks towards the window, checking on her brother and mom. Her expression changes when she turns back to you. 

“Because I’m not pulling my tits out in front of my family.”

Your pussy practically pulses when you hear her say it. What is wrong with you? You are dating her brother. What is wrong with you?!

“Your… boobs are tattooed?”

She nods slowly, bringing her one hand up to your bare exposed thigh, “Bet that shakes a sweet one like you to your core.”

The comment insinuates that you are an innocent little girl who knows nothing about the world. And sure Matt is your first real boyfriend. Sure he was the first person ever to eat you out because your high school crushes did not even know that was a thing. Sure you never have been sexually promiscuous. Sure you thought you were straight. 

Sure.

But something inside you was crawling its way out. This small interaction with your asshole boyfriend’s sister was enough to send you into a spiral. You never gave a girl a chance so how were you supposed to know you did not like it?

“What if your family wasn’t around?”

Ellie is gobsmacked by your comment, her jaw practically hitting the floor. You can tell she realized she was flying too close to the sun. She pulls her hand away from your leg. 

“You are my brother’s girlfriend. I am not going to be the one to corrupt you,” She states, scooting over a bit away from you. Your cheeks get flushed, instantly feeling embarrassed for asking such a question. But the more you sat in silence, the more you realized that you really did not care. The feelings Ellie made you feel within the last 10 minutes were more exciting than any feeling Matt had given you in 10 months. 

You clear your throat, “Luckily for you, Ellie, you would not be the one to corrupt me. That has already been done.”

She looks at you quizzically, “Is that so?”

“Yeah, I may look sweet and innocent,” You creep in close to her, “But I am really a freak.”

Now you are just lying. 

Before she can utter a word, Matt’s brother comes out to let you two know dinner was done. You hope and pray he didn’t take notice to how close you two were. Or how Ellie stared at your ass as you walked away. 

-

You sit between Matt and Ellie at the table. 

Every so often during the meal, you would place your hand on Matt’s leg. He would push you away, rolling his eyes when you glared at him. When the conversation came around to him, he would find a way to demean you and then continue blabbing about school or his internship. 

You answered questions from his mom and dad, but you were sorely uninterested in them. But then the conversation comes around as to whether you two would be staying the night tonight. At this point, Matt had already had four beers, and you knew he probably would not want you driving his new Mustang. 

“You can take Matt’s bed and he can sleep on the couch,” His mom suggests, indicating that you two would not be sleeping together. You understood that they were a bit more traditional, but you were not expecting to sleep in your boyfriend's childhood bed without him. 

“That’s a great idea, Ma. We can stay, right?”

You look at the plate of practically untouched food in front of you. You just nod, finally saying, “As long as you give me some comfy sweatpants to wear.”

“Mine are all back at my apartment, but I’m sure Ellie has something you could borrow. Plus, you probably wouldn’t fit my sweatpants.”

Matt constantly made comments about your figure and how he could not share clothes with you. He refused to share his clothes with you, stating that you would not be able to squeeze into them and you also “left your scent on everything”. 

God, he made you feel terrible about yourself. 

Butterflies erupt in your stomach when you think about wearing Ellie’s clothes, though, and you completely drown out the separate conversation happening around the table. You feel a hand creep up your thigh, but it's not coming from the side you expect.

Her hand is so soft and delicate as it creeps up your leg. You cannot help but glance at her direction, catching her smiling over at you. 

“Don’t worry, I got something you can wear.”

-

Dinner finishes up and Matt expresses that he wants to go for a round of drinks with his high school friends and brother at the local tavern down the street. He never asks if you want to go, telling you “It would just be high school friends that you don’t know, anyway.”

He tells you that his Mom and Ellie would get you all set up. He gives you a pat on the back, and heads to the door, right behind his brother. You watch him leave and almost breathe a sigh of relief. 

When you turn back, you see his Mom already going upstairs. 

“I’m gonna get your bed all set up and then I’m probably going to retire to my bed, too.” She states, slowly making her way up the wooden staircase. 

You wanted to scream because this only meant one thing. You were alone with Ellie. 

You follow her up the stairs and look around the hallway. She heads to the right and begins pointing at the only room with the light on. You didn’t even know that Ellie was upstairs.

“Have Ellie get you something to wear, I’ll make up your bed!”

The door swings open and Ellie stands there, having changed into her own bedtime clothes. And for fucks sake, she’s not making this easy for you. 

She is sporting a tight white tank, no bra, and shorts that ride up to the very tops of her thighs. Her legs are tattooed as well, but not as much as her arms. There isn’t a touch of her freckled skin that isn’t marked with art. You can almost see through her shirt, making your mouth go dry. 

“Let’s see what you fit into!”

She lets you into her space. Her room is decorated with posters of space and heavy metal bands. From the looks of one corner of her room, she’s an artist. She has different art styles, anywhere from charcoal to watercolors, littering a desk and her walls. It’s messy, but it’s not dirty. It smells like incense and clean laundry. 

She walks over to her dresser, opens up the top drawer. Everything is neatly folded, which kind of surprises you. 

“I have some sweatpants, shorts, boxers-“

“Sweatpants are fine,” You retort, not wanting her to list off anything else, “Do you have any t-shirts I could wear?”

“Well of course I do, sweet cheeks. What do you want, loose or tight?”

You stare at her dumbfounded. You know what she’s doing. And you hate yourself for liking it so much. 

She pulls out a pair of navy blue sweatpants, still waiting for your reply. 

“Loose.”

She starts to dig through another drawer when Matt’s mom pops her head in. 

“It’s all set up for you, sweetheart. If you need anything, you let one of us know. I’m going to downstairs if you need me.”

You smile, thankfully. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Williams.”

“If she needs anything, I’m sure I could help her find her way,” Ellie says, absentmindedly. She pulls out a white t-shirt from her drawer and tosses it at you. 

“Goodnight, girls!”

And then you two are alone. Ellie slowly saunters to her door and shuts it. 

“You can get dressed here. Just make sure what I gave you fits.”

You silently turned your back to her, tossing your hair over your shoulder. “Can you unzip me?”

You are not even thinking straight. You are so caught up with being alone with the girl you have had weird sexual tension with. She walks over to you confidently, before grabbing the top of your black dress, which lands right at the middle of your back. She pulls down the zipper, ensuring it reaches the very end of its track. 

The hairs on your back stand up in her wake. You breathe deeply, before shimmying the dress off your shoulders. You were wearing a bra, so you were just going to keep it on. You step out of the dress, leaving you in just underwear and the push-up bra Matt gifted you not too long ago. 

You don’t turn to her, but she just comes around to your front, nonchalantly. 

“Jesus Christ,” Ellie stammers, before plopping on her bed. You shakingly step into the sweatpants she gifted you to wear, unsure how to respond. You rack your brain trying to gain the confidence you had before dinner, but your mouth is dry and your brain is dazed from seeing Ellie in her pajamas. 

You finally manage to glance up at her hungry eyes, smiling softly. 

“I never knew I would be jealous of my brother.”

You swallow, “Jealous?”

“Yeah, he gets to have someone like you every night and I can’t even find someone worth hanging out with around here. Never thought a nerd like him would win over a woman like you.”

You are standing in the sweatpants and your bra, not able to digest her words completely. A woman like you?

“Your brother is sweet. And we don’t have sex every night.”

“Just sweet?” She steps a bit closer to you, “And I said nothing about sex, darling, I said he gets to have you.”

She is looking at you like you are her prey. You almost fell to your knees and begged her to put you out of your misery, but you resisted. Instead, she just stands up, trying to catch your nervous glances. 

“H-he, uh, does what he can, when we d-do, yanno.”

Her fingers trace up your arm, her eyes trailing as she does it. You bite the inside of your cheek, waiting for her response. She clicks her tongue a couple of times, shaking her head. 

“I am sure he tries,” She sputters, standing back from you, “Do you even really like him?”

You furrow your eyebrows, suddenly snapping out of the situation you are currently in. You reflect for a moment.

Matt was an asshole but you sometimes enjoyed his company. He made you laugh on occasion. But deep down, you knew that he wasn’t made for you. He lacked emotional intelligence and made sure to put you down any chance he got. You had inklings he was talking to other girls and his friends were probably the most intolerable people on your college campus. And then there was that one time when the inklings were just. 

The realization that you maybe didn’t like him made you sick. You wasted so much time and now you have met his family.

“When he’s not mean to me. When he isn’t cheating on me.” You admit quietly, almost too humiliated to say it. 

She crooks her neck, “He cheated on you?”

You hate talking about it, it made you feel as though you were never good enough. He made it out that it was your fault because you would not have sex with him when you had the flu. “It was just some hand stuff, baby,” he said to you. 

“Just once. I forgave him because he told me he loved me.”

“People who love you don’t hurt you like that,” Ellie says without a beat. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Is he mean to you all the time?”

You think back to the last nice thing he said to you. Your ass looks fat in that dress. And even that could be seen as a bad thing. You shake your head, trying to find a good way to paint her brother. From the looks of it, she doesn’t really like him all that much anyway. 

“Most of the time.”

“So, what I’m hearing is my brother is an asshole that doesn’t know how to treat a woman both in life and in the bedroom. Is that what you’re saying?”

You stand there pondering her question, coming up with nothing. She was right, but were you ready to admit that?

So you shrug.

Ellie stands with her arms crossed now, chewing on the inside of her lip. She’s contemplating something, her eyes falling to the floor for a moment. 

“Listen, I am not just saying this because it has taken everything in my power to resist sinking my teeth into you,” The first half of the sentence put your heart in your throat. Nonetheless, she carries on, “But I have an inkling that you don’t like my brother at all. I think you like girls and you’ve never had the chance to explore that. You want to say you are a freak, but you really don’t know what that even means.”

“Ellie, I d-”

“You need to break up with my brother,” She states plainly, “And then, after all is said and done, I can show what it looks like to be taken care of.”

You agree, sadly. You do need to break up with Matt. And on the basis that you believe that he’s probably at the bar hanging out with old friends, probably with other girls, probably flirting with those other girls. You decide you are not going to wait anymore. He cheated on you once, what’s stopping him now? Ellie was right about everything, and while that revelation changes your entire perspective on life, you settle on jumping head first. 

“Show me now.”

You watch all the blood drain from her face. She fumbles with her inked hands, waiting for you to say you didn’t mean it. That moment never comes. 

“Are you sure about that?”

Swallowing hard, you just nod. You do not even realize what you are getting yourself into, but the undeniable chemistry cannot be ignored anymore. You don’t even want to waste another thought on Matt. You know if you think too hard about it, you’ll talk yourself back into staying with him.

Ellie’s face gets closer to yours and your lips connect seamlessly. She wastes no time, bringing her hands down to your waist to pull you in. You wrap your arms around her neck while fireworks erupt in your chest.

Her lips taste like mint and a dab pen your college roommate made you hit a couple of months ago. She was borderline intoxicating. 

She backs you up towards her bed, letting your knees hit the edge of the mattress. You plop down, disconnecting from her lips. 

Through hooded lids, she asks you, “Do you want to see my favorite tattoo, then?”

Your breathing hitches as she does not even wait for a response, she just pulls her tank top over her head.

Each piece is connected somehow. Her stomach piece is what appeared to be a dragon flying up towards her under-boob area. It was extremely detailed and took up a large half of her upper stomach. Around her collarbones were very intricate lines that almost rain over her body like veins. They spread down her chest onto her boobs, where around her nipples were two matching daggers appearing to go through her areola. 

You smirk at the idea that these are her favorite tattoos. The cheeky ones around her tits.

“Holy shit, Ellie.”

You reach out and touch her tits, ever so delicately. You use your finger to outline the daggers, smiling to yourself. 

Being this close sends a pulsating feeling down to your pussy. You have never felt a lightning strike quite like it before. 

She’s letting you feel her up, but when you change your tune and start pinching at her nipples, she throws her head back with a groan.

“Hmm, you should try putting one in your mouth,” She remarks, hoping to God you would be eager enough to do so. She was very in tune with you because you leaned forward taking her right nipple into your mouth. She’s guiding you around every turn, whispering how good you are doing already. 

You release her with a pop and sit back. You reach around to release your own, but she stops you. 

“Lemme do it,” She says mounting your lap. You place your hand on her hips while she runs her fingertips across your back. She unhooks your black bra, letting your tits spill out. 

You feel the tops of your hands stand up as soon as her hands begin to knead your tits. You glance down at her movements, watching your sensitive nipples perk up due to the attention she’s giving them. 

“Mmm, you like that, sweetness?”

You just groan, your lips needing to do more than just talk. You pull Ellie’s ajar mouth down to yours, diving your tongue between her teeth. You never had such a hunger for anyone else. No guy ever made you feel this way. 

She nudges your shoulders, having you fall onto your back. Her lips move away from yours and start to trail down your neck and chest. When her wet mouth touches your tits, you cannot control the sounds that leave your throat. She bites down on your supple skin, which makes you groan more. 

“You gotta quiet down a bit. Don’t need anyone hearing us.”

You try to manage your noises, but as soon as she starts to kiss down to the hem of the sweatpants she loaned you, you know you’ll never be quiet like she needs you to be. She tugs at the waistband, taking your underwear with it. 

You are now butt naked on her bed. And god, the air is hitting the wetness between your legs is titillating. 

“Listen, sweets,” She whispers, palming your thighs with her tattooed hands, “I’m going to make you cum on my tongue first. Then I am going to fuck this pussy so good, you won’t know any other cock but the fake one in my side table. You hear me?”

Your stomach is in knots, but you know that this is what you really want. “Okay, Ellie. Please do whatever you think I will like.”

“You’re gonna like it all, baby girl. And if it gets a bit dodgy, you just let me know and we can stop.”

You shake your head positively as she smiles between your legs. She starts by kissing up your thighs, keeping you completely in a trance. When her mouth finds your slit, she licks a long stripe. She takes her time, working her tongue in between your pussy lips. The wet sound that happens when she shakes her head is pornographic. When she finds your clit, she encases it and starts to suck lightly. You scream out in pleasure, never feeling this sensitive before. It usually took a whole lot of Matt lazily fingering you and fucking you to illicit such a response. Ellie is building up an orgasm within you in record time. 

She uses her fingers to open up your pussy a little bit more. You instinctively want to close your legs, but her left arm has your legs locked on her bed. Her middle and index fingers curl inside you with every motion forward. 

Her eyes are closed and you are laser-focused on her expressions. She’s putting her all into making you feel good and it’s relieving to watch someone put so much care into it. 

You notice the small little freckles that scatter across her nose get lighter as they reach her cheekbones. She’s so fucking pretty. 

“Jesus, you’re doin’ so good sweetheart. You feel so good.”

“Oh my god, Ellie, please don’t stop,” Your voice is strained, begging her to continue fucking you. She chuckles and begins to pick up speed. Your mind is cluttered, unsure how you can feel this good. 

When the peripherals of your vision begin to get white, you know it’s over. She latches her lips back onto your clit, humming to drag the orgasm out of you. When it happens, your deep guttural moans get muffled by her palm.

You think your heart is going to stop beating. 

Once you begin to feel your muscles relax, Ellie is crawling on top of you, hovering over your chest, her lips kissing your collarbones.

“You did such a great job, baby girl,” She dotes, her short hair falling across her forehead, “You’re so fuckin’ sexy.”

Your heart swells up a thousand sizes. You never got called that before, let alone felt sexy. But Ellie had this aura to her. She made you feel sexy, desirable, wanted. 

Your hand reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear, “Please show me more.”

She nods, before she leans back on her knees. She balances on one leg before shoving her pajama shorts down. The ink travels to every part of her body and you wonder if the ones around her hips hurt. The snakes that travel up her thighs, have their heads resting right on her hip bones. 

You sit up and observe her movements, she’s fumbling with something in her drawer. She seemingly cannot find what she’s looking for and slams it shut. 

“How about this,” She says with a huff, “I want you to see what it feels like to grind that pretty little pussy on mine anyway. The strap will have to wait.”

You feel the blood drain from your face, “The strap?”

She giggles at your not-so-faux innocence. “We will try that next time.”

You aren’t ready for her to grab onto your legs and move you like a rag doll around her bed. She rests her body horizontally from yours, her lower half lining up with yours. You were not sure how this worked, but you had heard of scissoring before. The technicality was lost on you. 

You sit up waiting for instruction, but Ellie is so hypnotized by your wet slit, she doesn’t even look at you. You watch her reach out and touch your dripping center and it sends an electric shock down your limbs. You throw your head back, hissing at the action. 

“God, that cunt is so pretty.”

You finally look back at her, wanting nothing more but to fuck her like she fucked you. So in return for her toying with you, you hastily reach out and touch her pussy. You are confused by what to do, but by her reaction, you know you did something right. 

“Tell me what we are doing,” You beg, closing your legs in closer to hers. She nods, watching your fingers pull apart her pussy lips. 

“Pull your cunt against mine and ride me like you’d ride Matt’s dick.”

You halt your movements, “Ride him?”

“You’ve never ridden him before?”

Your response was your silence. You had never explored much with him, simply because he was quick to get his nut before traversing to other territories. 

She helps you sit up, hover your cunt over hers. You can not lie, the sight of her sticky wet pussy was hot. She guides you down so your mound is on hers. She bites her lip as you practically drool watching your purely untouched body against her painted figure. 

“Now move your hips back,” Her hands are gripping onto your hips, showing you the way, “And forth.”

The friction is immediately overstimulating, but it feels like an itch you’ve never scratched. So fucking delicious. 

“Shit…” You groan at the response your body is giving you.

“Practice makes perfect, baby. Keep moving those hips.” 

You have never been on top, but it’s almost freeing to be in control of the movements. You weren’t sure what you should grip onto as you rubbed your pussy against hers, so you grip onto your own shoulders. Your hips gyrate, the slickness between your legs starts trailing down to Ellie’s navy blue sheets. 

“God, this pussy is so fucking perfect,” Ellie says through gritted teeth. She holds down your hips, somehow trying to get you closer to her.

“It’s yours.” You whine, letting the lust take over your speech. You had no clue what that meant for this situation, you just knew that Ellie knew how to fuck you and it was bliss. Your hands leave your shoulders and eventually find Ellie’s tits.

“This pussy is mine? The first cunt you fuck is the cunt you fuck forever?”

You want to laugh, but the bubble in your stomach is about to burst already with how fucked out of your mind you are. “If the cunt is yours, then yes. I want this forever.”

Ellie sucks on her two fingers before she reaches down, finding the very top of your cunt, and begins to press down on that sensitive little bud. The saliva only mixes with the messiness of your liquids. You squeeze her nipples in response. 

“Never going back to my stupid fuckin’ brother, hm? This pussy belongs to me.”

“Yes, Ellie, fuck!” 

She smiles at your quickening pace. She knows you’re reaching your breaking point, and she knows that she’s close herself. 

“Come for me, baby. Come all over my fuckin’ cunt.”

You jolt forward, your hips stilling over hers. You don’t know if you’ve felt a sensation quite like it. You had tears pricking the corners of your eyes as your body felt like a volcano erupting. The curses leaving Ellie’s lips as she came from your orgasm only added to the high you felt. You knew words were leaving your mouth, but they were just jumbled together strings of sentences. 

“Jesus Christ…”

“It feels so good…”

“I want this pussy forever…”

You fall over next to Ellie, your legs still intertwined with hers. She was trying to catch her breath, her body still jittery from her high. 

“That was per-”

“Babe!!”

Your stomach drops to your ass when you hear Matt’s voice.

You jump up from Ellie’s bed, finding the closest clothes you can grab at. Ellie does the same, but takes her time throwing a tank top over her bed head. His footsteps are practically running up the steps. 

You are still wobbly on your legs, practically falling over trying to put on the pants she loaned you. You just keep saying “fuck” over and over again, knowing that you two will probably be caught. You just finished putting on a shirt when he barges into the room. 

He’s drunk. 

“What are you still doing in here?” He asks you in an accusatory slurred voice. Collin is close behind him, trying to shush him.

“Chill, dude. I was just showin’ her some of my art.” Ellie defends, plopping down on her bed. She’s trying to mask the fact that her bed is wet with your cum. 

While he blabs about how Ellie sucks at art, which he is very wrong about, you notice a red blotch on his shirt collar. You zero in on it because you fucking knew. 

“Matt, what’s on your neck?” You interrupt.

He stops his rant to look down at you. His eyes are bloodshot. He’s so gone that his mind can’t make up an excuse. 

“It’s from Sophie,” He blurts out, his lips getting ahead of his brain. Ellie pauses and the entire room goes dead silent. You had no idea what to say back to that. You had no clue who Sophie was. You honestly did not care, your relationship was already done in your head. You were just kind of shell-shocked that it happened exactly how your mind doctored it.  

You glance over at Ellie who is already looking at you. Collin clears his throat. 

“I think this a conversation for the morning,” Collin says, grabbing Matt’s arm to tug him out of the room. 

You nod, “Yeah, Collin, great idea. Why don’t you take Matt to bed? Tuck him in and give him a sweet kiss like Sophie did.”

Matt’s face turns bright red, the same thing it always did when he got mad at you. Before he could lash out at you, Collin drags him out of the room and into the hall. Before shutting the door behind him, he says, “I’m sorry.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “It’s fine. It’s not the first time. But it will be the last.”

When the door clicks shut, you hear Matt whisper yelling at Collin about how big of a bitch you are. How you didn’t deserve him. Yadda-yadda-yadda. 

Ellie just gawks at you. The tone of the room changed so drastically so quickly that you felt almost disconnected from reality. 

“You okay?” She asks innocently, her hand holding onto your shoulder. 

Your legs are still weak. “Yeah, I think I’ll need more practice though.”

She is confused, you can tell by the look on her face. “Huh?”

“I’ll need more practice riding you. And, hey, you didn’t get to use that fake dick on me, remember?”

-

taglist (for those who said they wanted this haha)

@cavillscurls @satellitespinner @mourningdovee @hockeyhughes @stonerzdaze420692 @00ops1e @sunflowerwinds @holilogram @whoucallingalesbian @aurelialuna

[outsideratheart]

Too Much Teasing (Mapi Leon x reader)

A/N: You guys voted for the Mapi fic so here it is. I hope you like it!

Based off this request.

Life worked in mysterious ways and the past couple of years proved that. In a shock transfer you left Arsenal, your childhood club and the team that brought you up through the academy, for Barcelona.

The Spanish game came very easy to you but life off the pitch was more of a challenge. You are naturally a guarded person but there was one girl that managed to knock down your walls within the first few weeks. You and Mapi bonded over your shared love of tattoos, art and late night walks around the city.

You would see each other everyday which made being back in England for the Euros that much harder. Due the Barcelona's schedule you left for camp the morning after the Copa De La Reina final and you wouldn't be returning to Spain till August, should the tournament end with the Lionesses lifting the trophy.

But the thing about playing in Spain is that it sometimes felt like you lived two lives. For example, your England team mates had no clue you were dating the Zaragoza native. You were planning on telling them during the Arnold Cup but it was your first tournament as Captain and Mapi wanted you to focus. You were keeping the most important thing in your life from some of the most important people in your life.

You missed your girlfriend dearly and whilst you wanted nothing more than to drive to Marlow to see Mapi on your days off you know you couldn't so you settled for phone calls, more specifically late night phone calls. You walk aimlessly around the Teddington compound talking to Mapi about everything and anything. The sound of your girlfriend's voice had the power to distract you from the pressure that came with being the home favourites.

"Te quiero mucho baby"

You end the phone call and try your best to enter your room quietly as not to wake up your room mates.

"I take it i'll meet your secret girlfriend when I come to Barcelona?"

Lucy's voice makes you jump in your spot. Like every other night, you expected her to be asleep. You decide to ignore her question, choosing instead to get ready for bed but the defender continues her questioning whilst you’re in the bathroom.

"Will I meet her over dinner or at a team meeting?"

"Team meeting. Now no more questions" you warn her but she doesn't care.

"Am I going to be playing against her on Thursday?"

You freeze. Yes you were aware that England would be playing Spain in the quarter finals but what didn't register is that you are going to be playing against, and possibly beating, some of your closest friends.

"No way! You're dating Alexia!"

"What? No"

"It's just that you didn't answer"

"Because i've just realised that the next game we play will destroy mine and your team mates dreams of winning the euros"

"I thought you knew that. Isn't that the reason why you have been sad when you don't think people are watching?"

"I miss her a lot. This is longest we have been apart in a while and i'm finding it hard not being around her" You felt lighter having said out loud what you have been feeling for the last week.

You really wished that you could see Mapi before you play each other in Brighton. The fact that you wouldn't led to you being in a sour mood the next morning and it seemed to give the some of the players the perfect opportunity to make your mood worse.

"Hello grumpy, did somebody not get enough sleep?" Meado pokes your cheek as she sits down next to you.

"What can I say, Lucy snores like a pig" you know it wasn't your best work but hopefully it would change the direction of the teasing.

"No I don't!" Lucy argues "your grumpiness has nothing to do with me, it's because you miss your girlfriend"

"LUCY!" you glare at her from across the table.

"What?" the defender is no where near awake enough to realise what she has just said.

"Y/N has a girlfriend" Ella sings

"Who?"

"Is she english?"

"No she'll be Spanish"

"Is she hot?”

"Of course she is, look at Y/N" Alessia casually says.

"Lessi, you think i'm hot?" you ask the blonde knowing that she will get embarrassed.

"What, no" her response earns a scoff from you "no, I didn't mean that. I mean that you are, well you're you, we all see the way the fans obsess over you and some even flirt with you even though you don't back which I think is strange"

"It's because she has a girlfriend" Georgia turns the attention back to you.

This time instead of them asking questions they start guessing who it could be. They name the entire Spanish national team as well as the more known players in the league. Hempo is the one that guesses correctly but no way are you letting her know that.

In the end you walk away from the table, not that any of them have realised. Their attention was now on the non Spanish players playing in Spain. You make yourself another cup of coffee hoping that it will do one of two things, wake you up and ease the interrogation that you will be returning to.

"Y/N"

"What!" you snap.

When you turn around you are met with Ellen who has your phone.

"Your phone kept going off" The older forward passes you your phone. When you glance at your screen you see the name and a photo of the two of you which was taken over the Christmas period in Zaragoza.

"Mapito?" Ellen question.

"I called her it once, she changed the name of the contact" you explain.

The look on Ellen's face isn't one you recognise. It's similar to when she is happy about something but this expression has a hint of something else.

"I'm proud of you Y/N. I used the think you would never allow yourself to have a life off the pitch"

It wasn't what you were expecting her to say but you feel a warmth grow inside of you. She was right, for a long time you was solely focused on your career and everything else came second to that. Now you have someone who you will happily spend the day with and not give football a second thought whilst you are with her.

"Oh and one more thing" Ellen says "You don't have to worry about me telling them but please make sure you don't let it cloud your judgement during the game"

"Thank you Ells and you don't have to worry about that, I won't let them go back to Spain with bragging rights"

You try and think of the best place to call Mapi back, as you wander the ground you choose the garden at the front of the hotel. Butterflies flooded your tummy as you wait for her to pick up.

Mapi picks up but before she acknowledges that you have called her, you hear her shouting at Leila, then the other defender's voice comes through the phone.

"Y/N, you need to sort your girlfriend out. She is a sexually frustrated mess and only you can give her the pleasure she needs" Leila blatantly tells you.

"Yeah Y/N" your hear Pina's voice "Mapi is so in love with you that she seems to hate all of us when you're not here"

You found a tiny bit of comfort knowing that your girlfriend was subject to the same teasing you were getting.

"That's not true. She just loves me more now please give her the phone back"

You hear the sound of the line change and you know that one of them has put the phone on speaker.

"She's counting down the days until she can kiss away your sorrows when we beat you" Patri joins in.

"I admire your confidence or maybe it's your stupidity. Besides from what Mapi has told me, Jorge has been working you to the bone so it will be my pleasure to send you home so that you can all have some time off before pre season"

"I hate it when you do that"

Now you heard the voice of the woman you originally wanted to talk to.

"What's that maps?" you ask her.

"You say something mean but you do it in the nicest way possible"

"It's one of my many skills"

"I prefer your other skills"

"Mapi! There are kids around" you say referring to her younger team mates, who you happen to be close with as well.

"I'm alone now and I really wish I wasn't" you could hear the frustration in her voice.

"Maria Leon, do you always have sex on your mind?" you tease her.

"Sex, no. Sex with you, yes. Can you honestly say you don't miss me or that you don't crave my touch?"

"No, I can't. I miss you and everything that comes with you"

"We are not leaving our apartment for a week when we get home" Mapi's promise was something you looked forward to but it was also unrealistic.

"I wish that was true"

"Me too"

The line goes quiet and for a second you think she has hung up but then you hear her breathing and it worries you.

"We'll be ok after the game won't we? I know one of us will lose but it won't affect me and you will it?"

"You mean our relationship?"

Mapi hums in response.

"Of course not. I love playing football but nothing in this world means more to me than you. Is that what's got you so stressed out?" part of you knew something bigger was going on with your girlfriend. To most of the world she has this tough exterior but it couldn't have been further from the truth.

"The girls keep saying that if we beat you then you will break up with me"

"Which girls?" you asked the question even though you had your suspicions.

"Leila and —“

"I'll speak to her" you hated that the girls were teasing Mapi despite knowing how sensitive she can be "As for me breaking up with you, well the chances of that happening are lower than you beating us and that is very low"

"You know that playing against me will be harder than playing against any other team"

The cockiness in her tone was back and although you knew you could beat her, doing so would be very difficult.

"Oh yeah, why is that?"

"Because I know how you think and how you play. I know your mind and your body"

You hated thinking about the power Mapi had over. She was right when she said you knew your mind and body, at this point it practically belonged to her. Your mind was at it's calmest when she was around and your body yearned for her whenever you were away.

A short distance away you see Ella and Alessia hiding, no doubtedly eavesdropping on your call and whilst most people would end the conversation you are about to have or at least steer it in a different direction, you saw the chance to teach the young forwards a lesson.

"You do? What is my body thinking right now?"

Their eyes widen at your words but they don't move. It's as if the stare you give is causing them to be frozen in place.

You try to keep the rest of the conversation as vague as possible but Mapi makes it very difficult because for every reply you give she responds with a suggestion that makes you want to drive all the way to Marlow.

In the end Mapi gets called away which ends the call a lot sooner than you wanted but you know you are in for quite the teasing, that's if Ella and Alessia have the guts to share details of your call with the rest of the team.

"My little devils, what am I going to do with you?" you put an arm around each of their shoulders.

The three of you walk back through the hotel in silence. It is clear the younger girls don't feel comfortable discussing what they heard on the phone. That is until you reach the breakfast room where some of the players are still lounging about.

"Y/N was having phone sex with her girlfriend" Tooney shouts.

"Ella!" Me and Alessia say in unison.

It wasn't that you didn't expect her to say anything, it’s more so the fact that she announced it to the whole room as soon as she entered.

"And you did it in front of the kids?" Jill jokes.

Jill then proceeds to console a scared Ella but you couldn't care less.

"The kids happened to be eavesdropping and I was enjoying my phone call way to much to stop on their behalf"

Some of the younger players fake gagged at the thought but the older players knew you wouldn't have said anything that bad given that you had kept your relationship a secret, so your sex life wouldn't be any different.

"Give me three clues" Leah asks when you take at a seat at her table, which also sat Lucy, Keira, Georgia, Millie and Rachel.

You expected better from your co captain but you knew the clues you would give and your friends would hate them.

"Fine" you reply much to the table's surprise "3 clues. She's from Spain, she speaks Spanish and she plays for Barcelona"

The first two are obvious but the third clue let’s them narrow down their list of names.

"Did you really have phone sex knowing they could hear you?" Millie asks.

"God no. Do you really think I'm going to have that kind of conversation in public where everyone can hear me and where I can do nothing to satisfy the urges that come with it?"

"Y/N!"

"Just saying"

When the team arrive at the stadium a few days later, they watch you and wait to see if you will give away the identity of your Spanish girlfriend. You on the other hand start to get nervous about what this game means and what it will take in order to reach the semi finals. You would have to outplay the people who you, for the most part, train with every day.

You wanted nothing more than to skip right through the pitch inspection. Since finding out you were dating a Barcelona player, the team have been teasing you relentlessly and you didn't have the energy to go toe to toe with them today. When you walk out onto the pitch you see that the Spain team are already there and when you see a certain defender you remember that you need to talk to her. The team watch as you and the Spanish national walk away and you can hear them shouting things but given the eyes around them the don't say that much.

"Y/N" Leila wraps her arms around you "I've missed you chica"

The conversation you had with Mapi kept replaying in your head. The seeds of doubt that her friends had planted began growing and you couldn’t doing anything to stop them, not right now anyways.

"Leila"

"Am I in trouble?" you nod your head "Why?"

"Do you know why Mapi is worried i'll break up with her?" from where you stand you can see your girlfriend bent down at the centre circle doing her own inspection, something that is part of her pre match routine.

"It was a joke which now that I see your face I realise isn't funny"

"She is one of your best friends, you know how sensitive she is. Just think before you say things that will stick in her head. Now we're going to see her so that you can apologise"

"You just want me to come with you so that your team doesn't get suspicious"

There’s no need for you to respond, she is right and she knows it.

"Hi"

Mapi's head snaps up at the sound of your voice.

"Hola bonita" she stands up and gives you a hug, one that doesn't last no where near as long as she wanted.

No words are exchanged, both of you break out in a smile, just being within touching distance is enough for now.

"Is this my punishment? Being made to stand here whilst you eye fuck each other?" Leila groans. She is used to be the third wheel in Barcelona having joined you and Mapi on date night more than a few times but the tension between the two of you makes her feel a little uncomfortable.

"Punishment?" Mapi looks to see you with a smug grin plastered across your face.

"Right, yes. Leila is there something you would like to say?"

"I'm sorry for saying Y/N would break up with you when we destroy the lionesses"

"Destroy?" you laugh slightly at the defender's optimism.

"You know I love your confident side but Leila's right, we will go back to Spain victorious"

"I know don't what's worse, the fact you think you're going to win or that you just said Leila's right"

Leila asks if you'll walk back with her stating that she had something she wanted to talk to you about. The conversation ended with you walking back into the tunnel with your arms wrapped around her shoulder whilst your hand rested on her waist.

Your team mates takes you spending most of the time with the brunette as confirmation, they are determined that you are dating Leila Ouahabi. In the locker room you got question after question about how your relationship starting and it didn't both you in the slightest, how could it, they had the wrong person. Once you re entered the locker room after warm up the teasing stopped and the game faces appeared.

The match ended with England going through to the semi final but you couldn't bring yourself to celebrate. This would go down as the worst win in your career but being the captain came with duties that you couldn't get out of. You thanked the fans and did your interview but neither of those could keep your focus because no matter where you were on the pitch you could see your friends in red consoling each other.

"Aren't you going to console your girlfriend?" Lucy asks.

"You know what, yes I am" you had watched from a distance for long enough.

Lucy who had been joined by Keira watches are you walk towards the group of Barcelona players. Like Lucy expected you went to Leila first but for you it was because she was the closest person to you, funnily enough Mapi is the last person. You had seen her wear a brave face for the sake of her team mates but it is only when she is in your arms does she drop the facade.

"I'm sorry" you subtly kiss her neck.

The embrace between you is different than the one you shared with your other team mates. When you lift you head up you see Lucy watching with shocked expression. When you unclasp your hands that are settled on the small of Mapi's back, you send Lucy the middle finger. The action let's her know that she was wrong and in doing so you tell her who you're dating.

"What's that about?" Keira asks.

"You'll find out when you join me in Barcelona"

"Shhh" Keira shoves her girlfriend "I told you it was a secret"

You stay out on the pitch as long as the Spain team does. You have no intention of celebrating the win and you hoped the fans and your team would understand this. When the stadium starts to empty, the players leave the pitch.

"Do you they know about us?" Mapi asks as she walks in sync beside you.

"Ellen does but the rest think I'm dating Leila"

This causes Mapi to stop in her tracks. Her eyes go wide in shock and she finds herself getting angry. She didn't like the act the world didn't know you were hers but your team mates thinking that you were with Leila, that she really didn't like.

"I'm not ok with that"

At this point you are practically in the tunnel so you grab her hand and pull her into one of the treatment rooms. You were grateful for the privacy it gave you and under any other circumstance you would be up for having a little bit of fun but you can tell by Mapi's face that she is very serious about this.

If her face didn't give it away, her choosing to pace the small room instead of sitting with you on the physio bench with you did.

"You're my girlfriend, not Leila's, and I don't want your team thinking you are dating my best friend"

To see Mapi care this much about people, who to her are strangers, is a rarity. You didn't care much for other people's opinions so whether the team knew or not, didn't matter. This was something you thought Mapi agreed with you on but her reaction tells you otherwise.

"Mapi" you voice is soft as you try to get her attention.

"I know that it's me who chose not the tell them at the beginning of the year but that was a mistake. They should know that you are mine and not hers"

Now she is getting territorial, a side which rarely ended well in the past. Mapi didn't like to share but this isn't sharing, your team don't even think of Mapi when they think of your relationship which makes it worse.

"Maria" you hope using her birth name will make her stop but it doesn't.

"Y/N I love you and I don't want them thinking you love Leila. You love me"

"Yes, I do"

Fatigue was beginning to set in. After playing 120 minutes of football your legs were getting heavy and given that Mapi had the job of keeping up with you for the game, you knew she would be feeling the same yet she continues to pace back and worth as she worked through her frustrations.

"Do they think Leila makes you happy? That she can love you the way I do? Make you feel the way I do? That—"

"Maria Pilar Leon Cebrian"

"Yes" she stops pacing when she is in line with you.

Using your index finger you signal her to come close to you. Her face changes and you know it's because she has finally noticed you are in a room together, alone. When she is close enough you take a fistful of her shirt to close the remaining distance between the two of you. Mapi’s hand cups the back of your neck as your lips crash into each other. The time you spend away from each other never get’s easier and it makes the reunions that much more intense. Nothing else matters in that moment other than to rid Mapi of the insecurities she is clearly feeling. When you pull away it is only for a second to catch your breath and then you are leaning back in, hungry for more and by the way Mapi mouth moves in sync with yours she obviously misses the connection you shared just as much as you did.

You are so caught up in the moment that you don’t hear the door open, nor you do you hear the voices that belonged to your team mates. At first they say nothing, they simply stand there and watch the two of you. They didn’t know what to do, they didn’t want to move in case they made a noise and it was clear that the two of you didn’t plan on stopping any time soon.

It is only when you start to lift Mapi’s t-shirt do they make themselves known.

“Sorry to interrupt but this is the treatment room and some of the others are on their way here” Chloe gives you a heads up.

What they didn’t see is that you already have your shirt off and Mapi being mapi, she didn’t bother putting hers on fully, instead it stays hung around her neck.

Just then another door open, one that you didn’t even notice was there and given the commotion that you can hear on the other side let’s you know it connects to the lionesses locker room. Your suspicions are proven true when you see Ella and Georgia, their eyes widen at the sight in front of them, you half dressed and Mapi not that much better

“Hempo!” Georgia shouts “You were right. Y/N’s secret girlfriend is Mapi Leon” 

Mapi still stands in between your legs and shows no sign of moving. You rest your head against her chest hoping that if the two of you stay still and quiet then the team will leave you alone but that doesn’t happen.

“How do you know?” Beth comes into the small treatment room followed by a couple more of your team mates.

You thought the teasing was bad before but now they know the identity of your girlfriend they have a lot more material to use against you. Something that is surprising is that a few of them tease Mapi even though they haven’t really met her other than on the pitch.

You tap Mapi’s sides indicating her to move away so you can stand up and put your shirt back on and help her with hers. You quickly peck her on the lips before taking her hand and dragging her into the Lionesses locker room. If you introduced her properly then maybe the night back at the hotel won’t be complete torture.

“Mapi meet the lionesses, girls meet Mapi my girlfriend”

You can see the grin that spreads across Mapi’s face upon hearing you officially introduce her as your partner. She had been waiting for this for months and you had too.

“Wait” Rachael interrupts the questions that the girls have “I thought you were dating Leila Ouahabi, their number 15”

“No, she is not’ Mapi corrects her rather abruptly “She is my girlfriend” 

You had just managed to settle down her territorial side and now, without knowing, Rachael had woken it back up.

“But Y/N spent all her time pre match with her, not you” Millie joined in and by the smirk of her face you know that she, for some reason, felt confident enough to tease the spaniard.

Mapi is ready to fight for you even though it is unnecessary and you really didn’t want her going back into her changing in a foul mood given that most her team will be feeling rough because of the final score.

“You sure you want to tease her millie?” You know Mapi wouldn’t hurt a fly but there is a reason why she got ‘looks can be deceiving’ on her neck.

Mapi picks up on the game you are playing and she changes her face. Safe to say Millie steps back without saying another word.

You lead Mapi out of the changing room but one of your team mates can’t help themselves. They had to tease your girlfriend on last time.

“Sorry we beat you and sent you back to Spain” Alessia says confidently.

Mapi knew she was one of the players you had taken under your wing but she can’t let the young forward get away with it.

“It’s ok. We’ll beat you in the champions league. Oh, wait, no we won’t. You didn’t qualify” 

At the mention of United Ella stands up ready to defend her club and after the game you had just played you really didn’t have the energy to play mediator between your girlfriend and the devils.

You push Mapi out the door but pull her back for one more kiss.

“I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast before you go back to Barcelona” 

Mapi deepens the kiss and you don’t have the will power you push her away, not at first anyways. It is only when you hear a mixture of wolf whistles and fake gagging do you end the kiss. 

“I’ll see you in the morning. Te quiero Y/N”

“Yo también te quiero” 

Upon re-entering your locker room you see all eyes on you. Let the teasing begin, again.

[bunnakit]

lore anon here, vibrating now, because I must ask, do you read tarot yourself? because I definitely do, (hell, I picked my latest daily draw deck that I've been working with since may by just asking each of the three decks I was trying to decide between what they each thought about ateez and then going with the deck that gave the fondest answer because why the heck not since I was changing decks right before the comeback. so why not, right?)

because, I am not kidding, half the reason I sent the last ask was because I'd been watching Don't Stop on loop for like 3 hours yesterday, (HJ standing on the piano while the room on fire has been a mood for me of late,) and I could not stop thinking about the Guerrilla cane and the Don't Stop cane and the fact that Hongjoong is such an absolute Emperor archetype personality-wise and how the Emperor is generally considered the evolved form of the King of Wands. And he was the one who literally got a wand in the photospread, and then got two canes (wands) in actual mvs. And wands are the suit of actions/passion/communication and they show up in the two mv's where the Black Pirates are finally taking action, and using their passion to communicate their message and start fighting to give people their emotions back, and then the one where Hongjoong has to kind of lose his mind and wreck the place in a fit of passion to get the key to ship back.

but I don't mention tarot because if someone's not into the woo-woo it makes me sound like I'm absolutely insane. I AM SO GLAD TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

(And we've already had one very prominent cups song (Answer with its literal overflowing cup,) and one coins/pentacles song, (hi there WORK, welcome to the canon). ...and a sword song depending on if we're counting the kingdom/stage performances of Wonderland given how iconic Seonghwa's sword is to the song at this point).

Also, also if you want to talk about card associations? Bouncy where they are literally bringing down The Tower, because a system built on corrupt foundations cannot stand.

You could also argue San's toast in Answer relating to the Star card pouring water/healing given how much of an emotional resolution and idea of finding of an understanding between the A and Z pirates Answer is.

Or Yeosang captured by the android guardians and trapped in the glass prison cell as The Hanged Man, forcibly stuck and suspended in time and space and forced into a reflection that does not go well for him before they rescue him.

(Also I have not stopped thinking about that tarot reading all the way back from Codename: Ateez that I basically reverse-engineered the spread positions of based on how the reader lady gave the reading and.... Hongjoong coming up as the Emperor who sees Seonghwa as the Queen of Cups while Seonghwa comes up as the literal Queen of Swords who sees Hongjoong as the ace of wands like aaaaaaaaa. And the fact that she just whipped out the whole husband/wife thing because it seems like the overarching dynamic of their relationship is the 4 of swords, how they are together is 'a stable foundation' with the king and ace of pentacles, all of which if I was reading that same spread I would read as 'they feel like home to each other'. And the outcome of their relationship being 9 of cups/death? completely transform each other while making their dreams come true? aakhgkjhgkrjh hi, yes, they make me insane your honour)

THE TOWER. i stared at The Tower for ages like i KNOW we've seen a version of it and i couldn't think of it but it's absolutely Bouncy!! (The Tower is also the card i always fucking get in readings, thankfully not reversed.)

i don't actually read myself, never really took the time to learn, but i do collect decks (my husband got me the most gorgeous bird themed deck for our anniversary) - i mostly just look up card meanings from time to time and try to remember the iconography in them, but i DO have plans to get the reversed heirophant tattooed on me someday

i truly can't wait to see where the lore goes, while it made me cry for like 30 mins i'm so so curious to see where Golden Hour's lore takes us because it definitely feels like a HUGE pivotal moment in the story

[hazzyking]

Official- unofficial OC information!!!

Tada it's done!!!!!

Name: "Ame Newgate!"

Age: late 20's early 30's I'm remaining ambiguous cause her age is a mystery lmao and when you read her story, you'll understand why

Height: 5'3 ", which is interesting considering how tall my pops is!" ((Also, that's my height, and I get made fun of it a lot))

Weakness: "my family. And my unpredictable power!"

Power: "some strange phenomenon happened the night of my birth. I was born with the power of the Gura Gura No Mi! Except, I can still swim, I'm infact the strongest swimmer of all the Whitebeard pirates! No one knows how this happened, not even the Marines! They would do all kinds of experiments on me if they ever caught me again, so I tend to keep my power a secret."

Affiliation: Whitebeard Pirates

Strawhat Pirates

Dreams: "I don't have many dreams. I just want to be free. Feel the wind blowing through my hair. And be able to live without judgment. That's a right that every living creature deserves!"

This is just a brief telling of what Ame was doing up until she met the strawhats. All of this I will write out in auctual fan fiction form, too, and everything that happens after will also be in fanfiction form:

Ame was born during a monsoon in the middle of the grand line. The storm was so powerful, and all the members of Whitebeard's crew remember that the storm came out of nowhere, too. When she was born the storm stopped and they ended up in the calm belt for the first week of her birth, Whitebeard and his lady weren't able to think of a name for her when she was born, and a few days after Ame's birth, her mother fell ill and passed away in the calm belt. The crew held an at sea burial, and on that day was when Whitebeard named her Ame (meaning Rain). When Ame became old enough to make her own decisions she declared she wanted to be the strongest woman in the world just like her father, the whole crew was touched by her declaration but Whitebeard found it a bit problematic. He knew he could never let her work on his crew because whenever any hint of danger happened, he would shield her from the fight so he asked one of his enemies Gol Roger if he'd teach her how to be a pirate. Gol Roger agreed, and that's how Ame met Shanks and Buggy! As the years went on, the three grew very close, and all of them planned their futures together. But when Gol Roger was executed, Buggy and Shanks had their big fight and parted ways, leaving Ame behind in the crowded city. Lucky for her, she found Ace, who brought her back to Whitebeard's ship, and she continued to serve under Marco's decision. Whitebeard always talks about how she would distract him whenever a battle happened, so he kept her as far away as possible to be fair to her.

While Ame is with the Whitebeard pirates. She gets her tattoos and her and Ace develope a relationship and they both work closely together *wink wink* Whitebeard tells Ace that he's too immature to ever Marry Ame and that he will never gain the old man's blessing. Which pisses Ace off buy, whose gonna argue with Whitebeard?

The ship gets ambushed by the Marines, and this is the first time Ame is aware of intentionally using her power. The Marines are stunned that she shares the same power as her father and captures her and does a bunch of horrifying experiments on her. She's captured by the Marines for a whole month before Ace and Whitebeard can find her again. And when they find her, she's so tramatized that she basically says she doesn't wanna be a pirate anymore. Ace and Whitebeard are upset to hear that, but they understand, and she says she wants to be a Lounge singer instead. So, Whitebeard enlists Mihawk ((we will say, like just before he becomes a Warlord)) to escort her to the Barite where she meets Sanji and later on down the line the crew.

When Luffy stumbles upon the Barite and that whole Arc plays out, Ame recognizes Luffy as Ace's brother, and she joins her bestie Sanji on their adventure. ((She dosnt officially join the crew, but Luffy is convinced she did.))

Description:

((Art done by @buggy-samaaa ))

In flashbacks she will have Long blonde hair like her father. In present times she has shoulder length purple hair ((she did this so to keep her identity hidden from Marines)) she has ocean blue eyes (like her father) and light freckles on her cheeks (like her mum) her skin isn't fair but it's not dark either. Just a nice in between tan.

Not much is known about her mom so most of her features that aren't like Whitebeard are just chocked up to being from her mother.

Her Whitebeard tattoo is on her chest (like Marco) except she's got tiddies so the U of the cross is just under her collar bones ((for placement purposes))

She has a full back tattoo of the moon on one shoulder and the sun on the other and that dream catcher that goes all the way down her back

She has her first 2 holes in her ears pierced in the first hole she wears dangly earrings of various types, her casual dangling earrings are pentagram though and there the size of like a dime at most. And in her second hole is always a Dimond stud

She always wears two necklaces. One sits in between her collar bones it's an upside down Cresent moon with an emerald dangling from it and the other one hangs between her brests and its a howlite upside down moon ((to represent her father's mustache))

She wears a black beeded bracelet on her right arm ((the beads are skulls. This is important because Usopp is very quick to judge her based on her looks))

On her left arm, she wears a leather cuff with a metal feather on the center. ((To represent Marco))

While she's on Whitebeards crew she wears a black shirt that plunges so her Whitebeard tattoo if visible. The sleeves are flowy witch sleeves. And she wears army green cargo pants and brown cowboy boots.

At the Barite and so on she wears a high neck shirt with tassles hanging off. And denim bell bottoms and black boots or sometimes a bright neon pair of sneakers. The high neck shirt is important cause it's to hide her identity 👍🏻

When she joins the strawhats her outfits very but most of them are designed to conceal her tattoos.

After her dad's death she gets more revealing with her outfits cause everyone knows who she is after she destroys an entire island. She also wears Ace's red and white bracelt post MarineFord

When she is recuperating with Mihawk she wears she wears this:

((I love this dress so much))

Sometimes she wears a hat. Sometimes she doesn't. Much like all the one piece characters her outfits change as time goes on

I hope you all enjoy this. If you have any questions, feel free to ask, and I will do my best to answer!

[casspurrjoybell-24]

The Alpha's Brother - Chapter 1 - Part 1

Book Three In : The Alpha's Trilogy

*Warning Adult Content*

Cypher Ravenscroft

"You promise me that you'll be safe?"

Simon was worried and he had every right to be but I just rolled my eyes at him.

"Me? Be safe? Mate, you're the one with the bounty on your head."

"You don't understand."

I stopped all movement, looking down at the black-haired man underneath me.

He let out a little whine at the sudden stop, then groveled as he looked up at me.

"You're acting like I ain't been in trouble before. Moon Goddess, why do you always bring up these things during sex Simon? It really kills the mood, ya' know?"

"No mood has died," he interjected and I scoffed, giving him a hard thrust, which honestly I knew wasn't going to do much for him, seeing as, he liked those more than anything else.

We finished soon after and I was quick to leave the bed.

Not because I was angry at the younger man.

Nah, I couldn't get mad at that adorable face.

I hopped in the shower and Simon was soon behind me, washing himself and humming a tune.

"What do you think I don't understand?" I asked as the water poured down our bodies.

Soap from his head slowly moved to the small of his back and I watched intently until he turned around to face me.

He sighed, his eyes closing for a moment.

"You'll be going into their territory. They've been off my track for a couple of months now but you'll be going right into the belly of the beast. I'm just worried for you, Cypher."

"Babe ,they have no idea who I am."

"But they've definitely seen us together."

"I've bleached my hair since then. I've got this nose septum, extra piercings and tattoos. I'll blend in immaculately and be back with you in less than a week."

I put my hands around his waist, he looked away from me but I still latched my lips to his neck, earning a frustrated groan from him.

"It'll be fine. You stress too much. What time is Peter coming for us?"

"Around five p.m."

"Is Rena on hold to drive me to the Autumn Falls pack-land?"

He nodded, pulling away from me.

I could see it in him, the stress boiling over.

I had eyes everywhere, my laptop was open on the motel table in the bedroom, I tapped into cameras, all over the states.

I had seen Simon's nephew, Star, finally make it back home a few days before.

I wasn't as worried, obviously but Simon wasn't going to calm down until all of this was over and that was fair but he wasn't going to be alone while I was gone.

I was leaving him a laptop and Peter was staying with him.

We got word from Rena and Peter that Charles Maverick was setting his sights back on the Golden Wolf.

The boy had just come of age and any power that he had was going to be amplified.

The boy had found his mate and by the looks of it his biological Aunt.

We gathered that the plan was to kidnap the drug-addicted teenager and use him for a ransom.

Smart, besides the fact that the kid was sober and now as powerful as an Alpha in the form of abilities.

'Why was I going to America to watch the kid? Good question.'

We couldn't reach out to Silas or Darren digitally, we didn't want them to trace us.

Simon insisted on the postcards and I let him as long as there was no forwarding address.

His safety was my main concern,  I didn't want anyone finding him.

So, the only way to speak with the Alpha and Beta of 'Autumn Falls' was to do it face to face.

It took a lot of arguing on my part to keep Simon here.

He wanted nothing more than to join me and see his family again but the risk was too high.

Especially with the jewels that Charles Maverick and his posse were chasing, were literally around Simon's neck.

"Where did you leave the backpack?" Simon asked as he came from the bathroom, a towel around his waist.

"I buried it under the trees in the backyard. I'll get it before we leave. Are you hungry? Do you want to get some takeaway?"

Simon shook his head, I knew he didn't want to eat, he was too nervous.

He said something about going out back to grab the backpack, as I printed us new ID's on the laptop, something I had become proficient at, long before I had met him.

[paulmccartneymybeloved]

this is another I'm gonna talk about my own life post because I don't have anywhere else I can talk about it and I'm seriously struggling atm, if you don't want to read it that is okay I will not be offended :)

I do not know what I wanna do with my life and I am so miserable and I feel like im a failure

I'm failing Uni, I can't seem to get a job, I am so lonely! I do have friends but I feel most of them are the type of friend to do fun stuff with and not the type to sit with me and talk with me as I go through whatever is happening to me rn

I feel hopeless and I'm just so so so so so tired and I don't know what to do anymore

My mother and I had a huge argument earlier and she hasn't apologised and it's insane to have seen her since just being normal and like it didn't happen, it's ruined my day, possibly my week, and she's just happy that she "won" because I ended up sobbing. Good job Mum!!!! Way to go!!!! She wonders why I really wanna move out? It's a mystery!!!! I cannot possibly think of why!

She criticised everything about me.

She was going on about how I hate home and my family, which I mean, I do, but I haven't told her that because I interact with my family as little as possible to prevent these fucking arguments. She thinks I hate it here because I often get irritated with the people in my household, but that just happens when you live with people. I do hate it here but she makes it out that I constantly parade around going 'it's awful here I hate it so much and I hate you all' when I don't, I just sometimes get annoyed with my living situation when not at uni because of how drastic a change it is and I much prefer living nearer to a big city to this rural area that I have to deal with at home - "I don't know why you've come home to be honest" I quite literally had no other choice, but right now, living on the streets of Liverpool seems like it would actually be the better option.

I have expressed that after Uni I would like to move out straight away if possible and I'm continuously having that used against me. Sorry I have plans for after Uni I guess? Sorry I don't wanna live in the middle of fucking nowhere for the rest of my life? Sorry that I actually want to get out into the world after you tried SO desperately to stop me going to Uni at all?

It is so evident that my parents had my sister and I because they wanted children who were the carbon copy of them and now that we aren't, it's a problem!

She's constantly on at me about Uni as if I'm not trying! I am!!! If I didn't care about Uni, I would give up. I am not someone who perseveres unless I actually want to - I quit doing Tae Kwon Do *just* before I got my black belt. I was so close but because I didn't actually want to do it anymore, despite the fact that all I had to do was persevere for a bit longer, I stopped because it was no longer bringing me joy.

I LOVE Uni! I love learning, I love lectures, I love education, I love expanding my knowledge!! I just have a hard time applying what I have learned when it comes to doing so and I keep on getting seen as lazy and not as struggling, when I am struggling, but I feel like im someone who wants to prove I CAN do it despite all of the struggles but it's seeming harder and harder and I feel like if I asked for help from Uni when I haven't up to this point, I'd get made fun of even though I know I wouldn't.

I hate arguing with my mother because she does what my dad thinks he can do. When my dad and I argue, it's meaningless shouting that I pay no attention to. My mum knows what to say to hurt me.

Next, she made fun of the fact that I have that club night that I really enjoy going to. I am a bit obsessed with it, I will admit, but that's because it brings me so much joy. I dont have a tattoo for it for no reason. I feel like I belong there and that people actually enjoy being around me there and it gives me something to look forward to going to in the near future, instead of waiting months for gigs I have tickets to. She said "it's all you care about, it's all you talk about" - a bit yeah. It's the only in real life thing that brings me that much joy. My parents complain when I unhealthily obsess over celebrities, when I was a teenager thye were begging me to go out and talk to people instead of only watching Dan and Phil - I am now obsessed with something that gets me out of the house and being sociable and that gets criticised too.

During the argument we had, any time I said something she had said or done had hurt my feelings, she said, "well it's not like that" or "you've taken that the wrong way" or "I didn't mean it like that". She "knows" and "understands" me and is "willing to listen to and help me" - all she knows about me is that I like Dan and Phil, The Beatles, and the club night that I go to, and any time I've tried to speak to her about anything, it ends up in an argument similar to (but not as intense as the one we had) today.

I said something about my dad and she said she'd speak to him about it and I asked her not to and she said ok she won't, last time that happened where I said something and she said she'd speak to my dad about something and I asked her not to and she said she wouldn't, she lied about doing so!!! She had talked to him!!! and she wonders why I don't fucking tell her anything!!!!

The massive argument we had today started because ive been complaining about my lack of sleep recently, I haven't slept well at all since I got home from Uni. I was getting like 9-12hrs of sleep a night at Uni, here I get 4-6hrs and ive tried cutting down on caffeine, I've tried waking up early with an alarm so that I'm tired in the evening so I go to sleep earlier, I've tried going on walks to physically tire myself out and I just cannot sleep for more than 4-6hrs and it's really taking a toll on me. I was complaining about it and I, of course, was met with my mother saying "well I don't sleep much and I just have to get on with it" and we had a bit of a disagreement but nothing major.

I've started journaling recently, just in a notebook from the shop - nothing fancy with a lock or anything, because I have always really struggled with being sad/angry/upset (probably because negative emotions have always been criticised in this household!) and I'm trying journaling as a way to deal with those emotions in a healthy way - rather than keep those feelings in and get more worked up and more sad/angry/upset as a result of not having an outlet. The minor argument/disagreement about me frustrated with not being able to get decent sleep bothered me enough to journal it, so i started journaling it and my mother said "go on and slag me off in your book". I am being criticised for dealing with how she made me feel, in a healthy way, because she doesn't like the idea of being spoken about negatively. I got the notebook and started journaling for this exact reason, so that rather than unload feelings to a friend, fpr example, I could journal them so that I got them out but also noone else has to know - and I'm still criticised. Whenever she's ever seen/heard me express how I feel about an argument or a disagreement I've had with her, she's always had a problem with it. Am I not allowed to feel?

There is so much tension and anger in this household and I feel like im walking on a tightrope that might snap constantly. There is no physical abuse, I should say for the sake of clarity, I am not in immediate danger - there's just so much that's not spoken about and I feel we all are always avoiding certain topics of conversation because everyone will end up shouting and screaming at eachother at a moments notice.

Moving to Uni where that worry is no longer, to then move back to this, sucks so much.

I have seen what a happy life is for me and for me to be truly happy, I need to move out of my family home for good. I need to. I think people I know think I am exaggerating/miss the independence and freedom of Uni when I say that, but I am so serious when I say I will not ever be truly happy under my parents roof. I cannot live here for longer that I absolutely have to. I am so miserable.

[eddiemania]

OMGGGGG CHAPTER 2 OF BABYSITTER PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Babysitter (part two)

Part one of “Babysitter„

Description: As your mother's punishment for returning home late that night, you had to work for at least two more weeks. Your body froze when you learned that you had gotten hired to look after your ex-boyfriend's baby sister, but little did you know that Eddie planned to give you a small shift visit (in your exe's bedroom)

Warnings: Unprotected sex, p in v, grinding, blowjob, hair pulling, switch Eddie.

"Oh yes, Mrs. Carver, that won't be a problem," you faked a smile while looking at your mother's death glare. You could swear she was about to snap any minute now, but you tried to be calm and apologetic.

Your ex's mother booking a babysitting appointment with you was certainly something you did not expect and you couldn't understand whether it was because of her trust in you to look after Maya, her youngest, or because Jason wanted to make your life more of a living hell than it already was.

After hanging up, you sighed, your gaze slowly raising to meet the woman's eyes in front of you, "9:00pm to 12:30am, twenty an hour," you tried as much as possible to hide the slight excitement you felt the moment Mrs. Carver announced your payment.

"You were rude, y/n. You should have asked her to lower the budget!" your mother rubbed her eyelids after shooting a glare at you, "I tried but she kept insisting!" you defended yourself, finally able to sit back down on your bed.

"You don't get to keep all that money," your mother argued, following behind you. Your eyes widened, eyebrows connected with confusion. "What? Why?" you questioned as you observed anger flowing through her eyes. "Are you joking? You are punished. Pu-ni-shed." she raised her voice.

"You came home at two in the goddamn morning!" the woman shouted, pacing around the wooden floor of your room, "I told you I fell-" you immediately tried to speak but she cut you off, "Oh so you expect me to believe that?! That you 'fell asleep while working?" she let out in a sarcastic tone, scoffing loudly.

You groaned, giving her a confused look, "Why would I lie to you?!" you raised your hands in the air, "I don't know y/n! That's what I am asking you myself!" your mother groaned before rushing outside your room, with much force closing your door shut.

You heard her intense footsteps walking away before a shout followed, "If you're late this time, forget your friends!"

You rolled your eyes. As if you cared. The only real company you got to have this Summer was your neighbor Bonnie's dog and some of the babies you got to have multiple appointments with.

Truth was that your friend group wasn't dead during summertime. A lot of parties had been held at which you had been invited, multiple times, but ever since you dumped Jason Carver, the entire group looked at you differently.

Maybe deep down they still liked you, some of them at least. You were always kind and polite to them, but some others loathed you, calling you ungrateful and picky as if they were the ones sleeping with him (not that this wasn't their only wish)

And as much as you wanted to worry about the awkward encounter that was about to follow that same evening, having to face both your ex and his entire family, stay in his literal house, your thoughts wandered elsewhere...

His kisses, his fingers, and his tattoos were everything that made you feel the need to squeeze your thighs together at random times that day.

You hadn't seen or heard from Eddie for a week. You specifically asked him to not even dare call your house's telephone. The last thing you wanted was for your mother to find out about how your night involved.

She obviously suspected the likely scenario of what could have held you back that two full hours, but since nothing was confirmed, your subconsciousness was clear.

"y/n,"

You let out a sigh, glancing at the door you had not realized was once again open. Your mother held out a plate that contained a cake, the same one Jason always enjoyed eating whenever he came over.

"What even is this?" you rhetorically questioned the woman as you rolled your eyes, "Is it bad that I want you to bring them something? It's been a while since I had the pleasure of speaking to that sweet boy or his family," she responded, feeling the messages she was sending you behind that sentence.

"I told you me and Jason are over," you repeated for the tenth time this month, a sentence that made her scoff, "Teenagers really don't know what they want," her words made you stand up, grabbing the cake before leaving it on your desk, "I'm actually an adult now," you raised your eyebrows, "Then act like it,"

☾

At 8:55pm you were already standing outside the infamous Carver residence after approximately two months. The plate in your left hand slightly shook as your free one rang the mansion's bell.

A few minutes of you waiting passed before the familiar female figure opened the detail-carved wooden door for you, greeting you with a warm smile on her lips, "Hello sweety!" Jason's mother beamed, gesturing you inside.

"Mrs. Carver, this is for you," you let out a slightly awkward laugh before handing her the cake, her face expressing surprise and admiration towards your mother's action.

"You grew so much since the last time I saw you! What a gorgeous lady my goodness," she placed her hands on her cheeks, making you widely beam, "Thank you so much!"

"Hey y/n" you pressed your eyes together before internally groaning, pulling yourself together in order to turn around and look at his face.

He looked exactly the same ever since schools closed: cock-ish "role model boyfriend" grin, perfectly styled blonde hair, a polo t-shirt, and a pair of white pants.

"Hey Jason," you forced a smile, knowing he would soon leave you alone. Was the thought of staying in his house unpleasant? Yes. Was the thought of staying in his house (a freaking mansion) also entertainingly good? Double yes.

"You better take care of that little demon," he tried to crack a joke to which you did not react, causing his mother to get between you two, "So y/n; Jason and we will go out for dinner. We expect to be back by twelve, but I hope you can understand why I had to add that extra thirty minutes in case we're late or caught up," she explained.

"Despite the time we return, you're gonna get paid for that thirty minutes nonetheless!" the woman shook her hands, making you react instantly, "No you seriously don't need to do that!" you spoke but she softly chuckled, "Oh come on now, sweetheart! Look..."

After taking a sip from her water bottle the blonde looked at you, "Why don't you go wait with Jacy upstairs while I wait for my husband?"

No. No way in hell you would let this happ-

"That's a good idea," Jason plastered that annoying grin all over his face before beginning to step towards the stairs, turning around only when he realized you didn't run after his ass, "Are you coming or...?"

Despite the choices you genuinely wanted to make, there you were, sitting on his bed while glancing at the wall in front of you awkwardly.

If you could choose between ripping your skin out or remaining in that situation, your dermatologist would actually have the pleasure to hear from you very soon.

One thing you did actually notice that was quite entertaining was the fact that he still had the pictures where you two were together hung on the wall.

"So, how have you been?" he broke the silence, the moment your gaze traveled towards him. "Pretty good, how about you?" you questioned, trying to hide the embarrassment you felt.

He beamed before shrugging his shoulders, "I could be better you know," his face approached yours, making you slightly flinch back, "Right," you raised your brows.

"I still don't get it, by the way," the boy groaned, standing up off his bed in order to look at you directly, "What the hell did I do wrong?" he wasn't even mad, it sounded almost like he was offended, "People don't always feel the same chemistry Jason, it doesn't mean you did something wrong," you sighed, really needing to get out of this situation.

"Still. I was perfect to you and you still dumped me like fucking garbage," the blonde raised his voice, making you rub your temples, "Can you just stop-"

His door opened, both your heads turning to look at his father standing against the frame, "Hey kiddos, sorry to interrupt, I knocked but you didn't listen," he explained, his eyes finally following Jason, "You coming?"

He immediately grabbed his basketball team's jacket, placing it over his shoulder before rushing out of the room, leaving you alone with his father.

"You know Maya. If you need anything don't hesitate to call," the male said as you nodded in response, getting off his son's bed, "Have fun," you beamed before he returned it.

Handling Maya wasn't as easy as you expected. Even if she was, or at least used to be a calm child, feeding her was one hell of a ride.

You had been trying to make her shallow her baby cream for over fifteen minutes now, with no result at all. The only thing your "solutions" ended up causing was the girl to throw up all over your top.

You groaned as you stood over the sink, maniacally attempting to get the blouse clean by scrubbing it with dish soap and water, "You little shit," you breathed rapidly, quickly switching between the washing and feeding.

"Bad," the baby mumbled, trying to push your hand away right before it reached her mouth, "Maya, I'm literally begging you, sweety, please!" you were on the verge of tears, about to give up when a loud noise made you jump off your seat.

You looked around, trying to locate the ringing before realizing it came from the living room.

You carefully raised Maya off her seat, taking her into your arms as you walked towards the phone on the wall, which had been ringing for almost a minute now.

"Hello?"

"Do I have to set up an entire master plan to see your pretty face?" your eyes widened, glancing around the room rapidly before your brain signaled your mouth to finally speak.

"Are you crazy?!" you whisper-yelled, making the boy on the other line chuckle, "Are you alone?" his voice was low and playful. You slightly bit your lower lip, trying to sound calm. "Yes, and I'm working. How did you even know I was here?" you asked him as you bounced slightly, trying to calm down the child in your arms.

"Oh well, you know..." you could see the grin he had on his face, "Mr. Munson wanted to reschedule since he was so pleased by your services, Mrs. y/l/n,"

You couldn't help but smile, trying to respond without him catching your guard down, "And?" you asked, "And I was told the number I should dial to contact you. I'm outside, open the door,"

You almost choked at the boy's words, your eyes quickly shifting around at the windows, "I can't do that Eddie! I'm literally working," you argued, "Don't you want an extra hand?" God, you wished you could slap his face right there and then.

"Wait right there."

You hang up, quickly placing Maya back at her food seat. You rushed to the mirror, fixing your hair as a knot began developing in your stomach.

Letting him wasn't right, and you knew very well that it could cause you huge trouble, but the other side of your brain begged you to walk towards that door and open it and soon enough you did so.

"Why does that asshole get to see you babysit shirtless and I don't?" was the first thing he said when he looked at you. You instantly rolled your eyes, looking at the amusement on his face, "Because his sister is a brat and throws up her food, unlike your brother, perhaps," you scoffed, about to rush back in when his arm grabs yours, pushing you against him while his leg struggled to shut the front door.

His lips found yours, making you walk towards the living room with his mouth against you and your neck. You could smell the weed in his breath the minute his tongue entered you.

"I'm glad to see you too, Munson, now let me move," you grinned, pushing him away before running towards the baby waiting for you in her seat.

The boy approached you, exchanging a few looks with Maya and your displeased expression, "It looks just like him..." he scrunched his nose, causing you to slightly chuckle, "Your turn,"

He didn't have time to process your movements before a towel came flying right on his head. "Huh?" Eddie widened his eyes, glancing at you with confusion.

"You came all the way here, so be my guest, plus..." you smiled, approaching him only to place a slow kiss on his neck, "I really, really need a helping hand..." you smirked watching him shut his eyes.

Half an hour and an empty bowl later, Maya had fallen asleep on the table. You quickly ran upstairs, gently putting her in her crib before leaving the room as quietly as possible.

Once you returned, your gaze fell upon Eddie with a cigarette in-between his lips. He sat on the couch, not noticing your return.

You approached from behind, carefully placing a gentle kiss on the softness of his neck, making the boy sigh, "You can't just go M.I.A. on me y/n," he pouted, reaching his hand behind his neck to hold yours, gesturing you to come sit next to him.

You did so, but before you sat down the boy held you, patting his lap while looking at you with pleading eyes, "You know my mother almost murdered me when I came back home," you whispered against his ear, placing affectionate kisses on his face.

The boy simply hummed before connecting his lips with yours, lustfully leaning on the front, his hands securing your back. You couldn't help but let out a small whimper, your hands traveling inside the roots of his hair.

Eddie groaned, holding you even closer to his body, "Did it have to be you to look after that kid?" he spoke stiffly as he kissed you, "There are tons of babysitters in Hawkins,"

You giggled, feeling his hands lowering, "They trust me Eds," you explained, the smile on your face not fading away, "Just because you smooched their son's forehead-" before he could continue his sentence, your hand was placed over his lips, preventing him.

You lowered your head, slowly sucking and marking his collar bone. Eddie's eyes were shut, and his breathing was heavy. "Since there are tons of babysitters in Hawkins," you paused, securing your hips on his, "Why did you hire me then?"

He rolled his eyes, not responding to your question.

"What's upstairs?" he turned to ask you after a little while, a confused look on your face, "The bedrooms, why?" you immediately inquired, observing the misbehaving expression he had on.

"Alright..." he threw you on the couch, kissing your bare belly as he stood over your body. Your hands kept on caressing him, pleasure and guilt both taking over your mind.

"Come here," he groaned, taking you into his arms before approaching the stairs, catching your guard down, "What are you- Eddie!" you whisper-yelled, once again getting no response from him, "Don't even think about it!"

He did, he thought about it.

"Let's see..." the curlyhead smiled widely, opening one of the doors after placing your feet back on the floor, "Parents' bedroom," he uttered, observing the place.

You ran after him, trying to pull him back downstairs, yet with no result, "What's in here?" he ignored your pleads, pointing at the door with his thumb, "It's the baby's room!" you groaned.

"Third room... Three is a lucky number, but not for Carver apparently," he winked, opening the door before pulling you inside, "Eddie we shouldn't be in here!" cold sweat ran down your spine as you looked at the boy wandering around, observing Jason's medals and pictures.

"Aw, look at how happy he is! Was that before or after he shoved me inside that locker?" he spoke sarcastically, causing you to lower your gaze.

His eyes were fixated on one particular polaroid on the wall, where he was kissing your cheek, a big smile across your face. You grumbled, trying to snatch it away when his hand seized yours.

"Poor him," he whispered, lowering his head to meet your eyes, "Right sweetheart?" his words made your cunt ache, your palms grabbing his face in a matter of seconds before you began kissing him.

You started touching him under his shirt, your fingertips brushing the top of his jeans, teasing their way inside. Eddie whimpered, immediately sitting down on Jason's bed, only to drag you down with him.

"God this is so wrong," you shook your head as you carefully got down on your knees, unbuckling his belt, "Jesus at least buy me a drink first y/n," he joked, making you roll your eyes.

As much as he tried though, nothing he said could change the fact that his breaths were slow, and his dick ached the closer your hands got. He observed you quietly, focusing on a small droplet of sweat traveling across your chest, falling right between your breasts.

He raised his hips slightly, helping you take off his jeans, followed by his underwear. When you suddenly acknowledged what had been hidden inside those jeans this whole time, you audibly gasped. He was so large and hard. It seemed heavy. On the tip of his dick was a shiny pre cum droplet.

The hip tattoo you had seen the other day gracefully developed until his upper thigh, portraying a sword.

Your hand grazed over it while he watched your moves with anticipation. "You don't need to do this," Eddie finally spoke quietly, his hand stroking your loosely tied up hair. You leaned against his touch, smiling, "I know."

You frowned as you carefully took hold of him. "What caused all this mess, baby?". You wanted to hear him say it, admit he had been losing his mind the past week he was away from you.

"Please y/n," Eddie begged, which was just enough for you. Your hand began stroking him carefully as you listened to all his moans and praises his mouth let out.

His eyes spun around the room, focusing on the pictures the jock had of you on his walls. How could a piece of paper turn him on so much?

"y/n," he kept panting the faster your pumping became. You raised your eyes up, looking at him with a smile plastered across your face, "What is it, my pretty boy?" you baby-talked him, "Put it- please," Eddie kept shuttering, thrusting his hips at any chance you gave him, "Oh Jesus, please just suck it," he threw his head back, his long hair touching Jason's mattress.

"Hm, I don't know..." you teased, circling his creamy tip with your thumb, "Please baby..." he sighed, making you blush the moment your tongue touched the base of his cock, licking a strand up to the top.

He was red and flustered.

It felt so wrong, but the pleasure you got just from knowing how desperate he was for your touch only increased the wetness inside your panties. You were certain he hadn't done this before, just by the look inside his eyes, and that turned you on.

All the days he had to watch your practice from a distance, feeling that slight attraction towards the cheerleader who definitely saw him as the school's clown and made fun of him together with her jock boyfriend was just overthinking that had finally gone wasted. You were between his legs, sucking him off, and he was enjoying every single second of it.

As your tongue rolled around him, your left hand stocked what you couldn't fit while the right one slid down your abdomen, straight inside your panties in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure you felt.

"Oh sweetheart, first you make me seem desperate and then you start playing with yourself in front of me?" he says, making you realize his head was up, eyes pinned on your movements.

Obviously, he had noticed the change in your pumps after they began weakening and shaking. The moans you let out vibrated against his dick, his fingers caressing your pink cheeks.

"Carver was quite the lucky man, hm?" he grinned, lifting your chin up to make you look into his eyes. Your mouth was wet, a strand of salvia connecting your lips to his dick.

"Eddie please just fuck me," you blurted out, your eyes glossy as you gave him an innocent look, "You are making me paranoid, you know that?" he whispered, a misbehaving smile catching him off guard, "Oh you wanna act slutty around me?" he asked, pressing his cock against your lips.

"Finish me off pretty eyes, inside your mouth."

Your heart beat faster, hands tired and shaking as you began taking him inside your mouth once again. This time the curlyhead grinned, thrusting his hips against your head, making your eyes tear up.

You kept on gagging, his praising leading your hand to move faster inside your panties, "My sweet pure girl..." he breathed, listening to your cries, "Sucking off the freak inside Jason Carver's bedroom," he laughed, "Who would have thought?"

"Eddie-" you tried to say, yet the boy shushed you, "Oh sweetheart I'm gonna- shit," he moaned, "Keep going..."

You did as he told you, the hand in your panties sliding up his thigh for your fingertips tingle his soft skin.

"Holy shit!" his last moan was loud, Eddie's head being thrown behind as you felt his warmness release inside your mouth, pulling away from him.

His eyes fell upon you, quickly shifting towards your spot, "What's wrong baby?" his bangs were slightly stuck on his forehead from the amount of sweat he had developed.

You had never done this before, and as much as you wanted to please him, your teary eyes made him understand your discomfort, "Shh, pretty it's okay, spit it out," he kissed your forehead, rushing towards Jason's desk to grab the trash can.

"I'm sorry," you wiped your mouth, finally able to speak, "Nothing to be sorry about, come here," he hugged you, pulling you up the bed.

His arms slowly guided you to lie down right before he got on top of you, placing sloppy kisses all over your neck, and chest until he reached your lower tummy.

"Eddie..." you spoke, slightly stroking his cheek, " We might get caught," your shame took over your mind, eyes looking around the familiar four walls, "I want to make you feel good, right here."

How could you say no? You needed him and his puppy eyes to remain on top of you, do whatever he wanted to your body.

"Will you let me?" his whispers against the crook of your neck made you wrap your legs around his nude waist. Eddie flinched at the sudden contact before his left hand started lowering the elastic of your sweatpants.

To help him out, you immediately took his shirt off, tossing it on the floor. Eddie's back was to die for. Heavily defined, the chain of his pick necklace getting caught up between his upper muscles.

You were left with your panties and bra whilst he was utterly naked.

You sunk against the soft mattress as the curlyhead kissed the top of your panties, his tongue making its way under the fabric.

"May I?" he questioned, to which you nodded in return, softly placing your hands around his neck. Eddie slid your panties off slightly chuckling, "I can't put them in my pocket this time," he smiled, making you scoff, "I'll still steal them though."

"Eddie."

"Mhm?"

"Behave,"

He grinned, leaving a last kiss on your belly button before crawling higher on the bed. "If you need me to stop, just tell me, okay sweetheart?" he asked, and you instantly nodded.

He sighed as he took his cock into his grip, holding it outside your entrance. The boy slowly entered his tip inside you, enjoying every single sound that came out of your lips.

Eddie reached back down to play with the smooth folds of your cunt. He ran his impatient fingers up and down the tender spot, spreading your spit and arousal.

"I'm begging you, Eds," you sputtered. He was taking his time. You took it upon yourself to push back onto him and rub your cunt against his tip since you were so desperate for his dick.

The boy groaned, catching you unprepared the second he pushed himself all the way inside you, "Ed- oh my- fuck!" you kept moaning, your nails leaving visible red marks all over his back.

"That's it," he breathed, "Take it all, beautiful," his voice was so low and hoarse, you swore it brought waves of pleasure down your needy cunt.

You were struck so deep inside that you could not control your actions. "Look at him," Eddie groaned, grabbing a picture from Jason's bedside table. "I'm the one who's fucking you on this dick's bed."

"I can't wait for the moment you'll have to look him in the eyes, knowing how well I laid you up. How you'll have to admit that Eddie the freak filled your little pussy so well, no one would be enough for you ever again."

You could already feel the pressure in the pit of your stomach tightening. No man, not even Jason, has ever made you want to cum so fast.

Eddie kept thrusting his ink-filled hips against you, your skin slapping and your moans filling the entire room. You loved the contact your two bare bodies made.

"God! Please don't stop!" your pleading went straight to his cock, making him even harder. He loved listening to your whimpers and begs so much that he only wished you two had done this a long time ago...

His desires eventually took over him when his hand flew down your head, making you quickly stand up on your knees. The brunette then grabbed your hips, turning you around before pushing your ass against his hardness.

Your back remained on his chest when suddenly, the emptiness you felt was immediately replaced by his cock. A few hard thrusts later, Eddie slid two fingers on your folds, quickly rubbing your clit as he kept on fucking you.

You couldn't take it anymore.

Your thighs began shaking, a numbing feeling taking over you as you felt that knot in your belly release, pleasure washing your entire exhausted body.

Eddie then immediately pulled out of you, his hand quickly jerking himself off as you watched his cum slowly release, both of you falling behind on the bed.

Curses and prayers both were repeated under your breaths, a huge grin on his face unlike yours. You felt your eyes shutting close from the tiredness, but Eddie noticed immediately.

"Come on sweetheart," he softly laughed, picking up your clothes from the floor before carefully beginning to dress you, "I'm not a doll Eds, I can dress myself," you roll your eyes playfully, "I need a month to recover from the heart attacks," the boy spoke.

"You know what, Munson?" you question as he slides your panties back on, "What?" the boy smiles, "In that case I'll give up babysitting for another career," you laugh, pressing your lips against his nose and forehead, "And what would that be?"

"Cardiology. Now put your clothes on before both you and I get arrested."

TAG LIST:

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[rcmclachlan]

RC, need your advice. Came home after years and am visibly different from when I left. Have four colourful tattoos on my upper arms, none of them bigger than an inch squared, maybe two inches. But I love them, and I plan on getting more. Aside from the general remarks about how they're permanent and won't I regret it when I'm old, they've been supportive. Or at least they're not commenting on it. My mother says I should do what makes me happy, as does my grandmother, but the flash of dislike 1/?

The thing you gotta remember is the only person you got your tattoos for is you! Not for your mom or your grandmother or any potential partner you might have — just for you.

My mother hates my tattoos. It was better for her when they were easily hidden by clothing, but now I have my forearm pansy tattoo and my fall florals half-sleeve and they're out there, and she hates them. But she knows they make me happy and has been supportive of the fact that it's my body and I can do what I want with it, even as she grits her teeth through her smile.

Would I love for her to love them as much as I do? Of course. It kills me that she doesn't see the beauty in the art and the permanency the way I do, but I didn't get them for her. I got them for me. I plan to get more, to her great dismay but my great delight.

"What about when you're my age and you have all these tattoos?" My mother cried once.

"I guess I'll be your age with bitchin' tattoos," I replied. "Because I'll have had them touched up so they won't look gross and faded."

Our parents are part of a generation where super visible tattoos weren't a good thing for one's reputation. That mindset persists with boomers and older gen x-ers, and in a lot of different cultures and countries. And that's fine. Because, again, you didn't get your tattoos for them. You got them because they make you happy and help you feel more like you. This is all that matters.

But that's not to say that some members of your family won't grow to appreciate them eventually! Styles have changed and so has technique and application, and inks last longer now so they don't fade as quickly. Gone are the hearts with MOTHER in them and, like, barbed wire wrapped around sticks or whatever. There are tons of styles and colors and possibilities, which certainly help ease hearts and minds. My grandmother thinks my floral tattoos are beautiful and always marvels at the skill of my artist whenever she sees my arms. Which is lovely, but again, not why I got them in the first place. It's just an added bonus!

As for the dipshits on Reddit... I would argue that you would never want to be with anyone who would think "good enough to fuck but not to marry" anyway, so their opinions mean less than nothing. But I can tell you that not once has a man ever made me felt lesser because of my tattoos. If anything, they're a great conversation starter.

So, I would focus less on the flash of dislike and more on the happiness your tattoos bring you. You might not change your family's mind on tattoos, but that's okay! You don't need to. As long as your family respects your decision to get them and the tattoos themselves continue to bring you joy, it's all good! :-)

(ps: I only received three parts of your message. Apologies if Tumblr ate any others.)

[renova-writes]

Coney Island Hotdogs

Requested by: @maximeevansblog

Summary: “The reader is the daughter of bucky barnes, and the have a daddy - daugther Day, but the reader wants to sleep but her dad has other plans , and end of the Day the asks what do you wanna eat Mac donalds and the watch a movie, but the reader falls a sleep trough the movie, and he carries her to bed, but she wakes up and her dad she go back to sleep button, i am carring you to bed, and allot of fluff and cuteness and if its ready you tag me right thanks”

Words: 2,004

Warnings: Just basically a bunch of Fluff. Some mentions of bullying and death, but very light and fun

Other Works: masterlist

"Five more minutes," you whined. The clock on your bedstand read 5:39 am.

"Hey, button," you heard a voice whisper. The dark locks dangling over you told you that it was your father. "Get dressed. I have a surprise for you."

"It's too early."

"I know, but I'll make you a (your favorite caffeinated drink)" Your dad obviously wanted you to get up but was not going to force you. That was one of your favorite things about him. He never forced you to do anything you didn't want to.

"Really" Your sleepy eyes lit up at the mention of caffeine.

"Yes button, really. I promise. Just get yourself ready to go, and it will be waiting for you" he smiled and walked out of your room, "Also, bring a jacket. Just in case."

With that, your dad left. As you paused for a moment in your bedsheets, soaking up the last moments of fluffy warmth before you needed to get up, excitement crawled up your spine. It wasn't often that you and your dad did things, just the two of you. He was always busy with the Avengers, or you two were over with Sam and his family. When you did make time for special days, he usually asked you what you wanted to do beforehand.

His walking into your room at five in the morning, asking you to get up so that you two could have a bonding day, was unusual. He must have something special planned.

You forced yourself to get out of bed. That was going to be the hardest part. Half asleep, you dragged yourself over to the bathroom. You did your business and paused after washing your hands to brush your teeth and your hair. A smile crept across your face in the mirror as you tried to guess what you were going to do.

The zoo? The park? Maybe the museums?

You lived in the Avenger's tower in the heart of New York City, so there were many options. You gave up trying to guess and decided to go with whatever. It was going to be fun no matter what.

It was the beginning of spring, so it was warm during the day but cold in the mornings. You picked out a light floral dress, leggings, and a cardigan so that you could have layers. Some essential jewelry and your boots would also be a part of your outfit.

After putting on your clothes and some basic makeup, you made your way to the main room of your apartment. Just like he had promised, your dad had gotten your beverage from the Starbucks next to the lobby. He had probably gotten it before waking you up as it was sitting in the microwave/fridge.

"Hey button. Nice to see that you finally have awoken from your cavern of blankets," he joked, "You ready. I've got an amazing day planned out. Just the two of us."

"Yep. Where are we going."

"Button, that's a surprise!"

"Tell me!!" you giggled.

"Well, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you," he smiled. A goofy grin was on his face, with admiration pouring out of his eyes.

"Just a hint…" you begged. "I'll probably forget by the time we get there."

"No. I want it to be a complete surprise," your dad insisted, "that's why, after you drink your drink, I want you to put on a blindfold."

Oh dear, he was very insistent about this whole surprise thing.

"But first, BREAKFAST!!!" he exclaimed as he presented you with your favorite breakfast, waffles, and strawberries. The plate seemed to sparkle with deliciousness as your stomach cried out in hunger.

"Yummy!!!"

"See, I remembered your favorite" he seemed very proud of himself. You had mentioned that you liked waffles when Wanda had made them for a birthday breakfast.

"Dig in! I put some strawberry syrup into the waffles themselves so that we would have extra strawberry flavor."

He handed you a fork and a knife, and you cut into them. The heat fell off of the bite on your forked, and you braced yourself in anticipation. Your father could cook; he and Steve used to make dinners for the team. But that was with Steve, now that he was gone, your dad rarely cooked. It had been hard for him. He was slowly getting over it; you definitely helped. Having somebody to take of, his therapist agreed, was very good for him. But his food was very hit or miss. This morning, however, the waffles were amazing.

The strawberries tasted fresh and had the perfect amount of sweetness. The waffles were eggy, precisely the way you liked them.

"Dad! These are delicious!" you exclaimed.

"I know, right, they're so good," he nodded in agreement, "but can I admit something? I stole the recipe off Auntie Wanda."

It didn't matter where he got the recipe from. They were delicious. It took the two of you a total of 10 minutes to eat the entire plateful.

He pulled a blindfold out of his pocket and put it around your eyes. You had faith that he wouldn't let you bump into anything. You weren't going to have to worry about the crowded city streets. When the strangers passing by got a glimpse of his metal arm, they always made a beeline away from him.

You knew it hurt him. You could see it in his eyes. He was your dad, after all. When you were younger, you couldn't understand why they were afraid, but now that you were older, you knew. It never, even for a second, hurt your relationship with your dad. You loved him. You knew that the real James Barnes was a cinnamon roll. This was a man who wouldn't kill spiders when he found them in the kitchen. This was a man who hung out with the Parker boy and played video games.

Even though the blindfold around your eyes took away your sight, you knew that your dad was checking to see if his gun was where he needed it. After all, he was the Winter Soldier. But that was an everyday thing. When he stopped rustling with his pockets, you felt a hand on your shoulder guiding you out of the room.

------

As soon as you heard the crowd's excitement, you knew where you were. The smell of cotton candy and hot dogs confirmed it.

Your dad had taken you to Coney Island.

You hadn't been there since you were a little kid and couldn't control your excitement. The hand that had been guiding you on your shoulder disappeared and removed the blindfold.

After taking a moment to adjust to the light, your eyes took in the flashing lights and kids running around. The roller coasters and carnival games all around you captivated your attention and caused a smile to form on your face.

"How's this for a surprise Button?"

"Dad, this is amazing! Thank you!!!"

"What ride do you want to go on first?"

The morning flew by in a blur. You and your dad had decided to go on every single ride you could. He had enjoyed the bumper cars and had won you a stuffed panda bear on one of the shooting games. You got the famous coney island hot dogs for lunch and ate on a bench on the beach. The entire morning, there was one thing that you really wanted to do… Ride the Cyclone.

"Hey, dad….."

"Yes Button"

"Can we ride the Cyclone"

"Um. of course. We have to. What's the point of coming here if we don't."

You threw away your trash and got in line. A man with purple hair and tattoos strapped the two of you in and took your picture.

"Alrighty ladies and gents," the loudspeaker in the car said. "Are you ready for the Cyclone"

Everyone on the train whooped and hollered in excitement, and the car lurched forward. Slowly you crept up the first hill and felt the adrenaline follow. At the top, you saw the people on the benches below. You couldn't help but compare them to little dolls from your height.

With that, the car reached the top of the hill and falls.

"Whoa, Button, I think I'm going to be sick," Buck said once you were off. He was looking somewhat green and queasy.

It was your turn to guide him... to a trash can. It turned out he wasn't going to throw up, which you were grateful for, but the Cyclone's toll had been taken. He rested his body on a bench and called it quits.

"What time is it," he asked. You checked your watch. It was two in the afternoon. "How about we do something a little, slower."

"Sure," you agreed. You were in Brooklyn, his home borough, and he decided to take you on a tour of where he grew up.

"And this is the alleyway where your Uncle Steve decided to get in all those fights," he said you passed by. "One time, after I saved his tiny ass, he told me that he thought he had pulled a muscle, and I was all like, 'Steve, you can't pull what you don't have."

You giggled at the thought of skinny Steve. Continuing on your tour, you saw his old apartment and walked through the one he shared with Steve. It had been turned into a museum, and you laughed together for an hour as he pointed out every single detail that had been changed.

"There was no way that we could have two beds! There was no heater, so we shared one! Why would they change that! It wasn't like we had anything going on between us!" he argued. You laughed as the tour guide still could not recognize one of the old occupants of the apartment.

Once your dad seemed satisfied with his tour, the two of you walked down to the nearest subway stop. In the underground station, you passed those golden arches.

"Dad, can we get McDonald's," you asked.

"Are you sure, Button, we can get much better food back a the tower"

"Yeah, we haven't had it in forever, and I need to feed my inner Chicken nugget," you joked.

He must have been in an excellent mood because he gave in to the lure of the golden arches. He also seemed like he really wanted a burger because he got his usual order, Two big macs, a large fry, and an M&M McFlurry. The super-soldier serum had granted him the ability and need to eat loads of food. You also figured that he wanted a break from Pepper's food because she had decided that the entire team needed to become more healthy conscience. It wasn't that anyone hated her food; it was just somewhat bland. And besides, who wants couscous when you can have Micky D's.

After Bucky had wolfed down his food, and you had savored each bite of Chicken Nugget, you got on the train back home. You could feel yourself grow tired as your body finally rested from an exciting and full day. Your head drooped down and rested on your father's shoulder.

"Hey, button, let's watch a movie in the tower."

He picked out a classic, The Wizard of Oz, and made popcorn. You barely made it to the tornado before your eyes finally gave up. You were so tired that you didn't feel your dad pick you up and start carrying you to your bed.

Your eyes fluttered open as you heard 'If only I had a heart' playing from the TV.

"Hey, Button," your dad's voice whispered, "You fell asleep. I didn't want you to wake up on the sofa, so I'm taking you to your bed."

He laid you down and pulled up the blankets. With a kiss on your forehead, turned to leave.

"Dad, I love you," you called out.

"I love you too, Button" On that note, he turned out your light and closed your door

[sadachmesarthim]

towers for your honeycomb chapter 3: no i do not condone underage drinking i just think it's a good plot devic-

content: the boys have One Beer Each™, peter both sets and completely ignores his own boundaries, author remembers the communion chapter from "how to read literature like a professor" and bastardizes it, both of them have anxiety but neither say anything about it, smoking

words: 2k     song: outskirts of paradise - bad suns     

Looking Tony in the eye was like staring at the sun. Peter could barely hold his gaze, always finding an excuse to turn away.

He was sat in front of the other man a few weeks later, sharing drinks and pizza at a new brewery down the road. It’d cost him his liquor license, and potentially a clean record, if anyone found out, but Richie (their most beloved regular) offered to let the pair try the latest house brew if they ever swung through.

Peter wasn’t one for beer, but he’d accepted Tony’s invite anyway.

He wasn’t entirely sure why. Since their fight, they’d worked all of maybe three hours together. No other shifts, they avoided each other at meetings, and neither were particularly willing to reach out off the clock and apologize.

It was like the world was screaming at them to stay away from each other.

Peter wasn’t sure he wanted to listen.

After his shift that morning, Peter found Tony outside, leaning up against the hood of his car & working through his second cigarette. He drummed on the side of his thigh, keeping his empty hand busy as he waited for Peter to come out. Tony jumped at the sight of him, tossing the half finished cig down a storm drain.

“You know those lead straight to the ocean, right?” There was more amusement than anger behind his words. Peter wasn’t entirely sure what Tony was up to, but he was too tired to start shit. He crossed to the passenger side of his car, tossing his belongings to the floor.

“Even if it didn’t go through the city’s filtration system – fuck the fish.” Peter rolled his eyes. Funny as he was, Tony always had to be contradictory.

“Don’t you have, like, a school of them on your shoulder?” Tony’s normally visible salmon tattoos were safely tucked away behind a denim jacket Peter’d never seen before.

“Irrelevant.” Peter rounded the hood and turned, facing the other man. “Did you need something or were you just here to argue about my town’s plumbing system?” He huffed the words out, arms crossing in front of his chest expectantly.

“I, uh…” He suddenly went silent. The ground crunched under Tony’s feet, gravel scraping asphalt under his shoes. They were a rattier pair he owned – more tape than sole, oil staining the canvas.

“I wanted to know if you’d come to lunch with me. Today. Like, right now?” He hesitated at the last few words, like he wasn’t sure he could say them out loud. “I, uh. I’m pretty sure I have some things to say to you, and Richie’s got some good stuff waiting for us at the Pub House…”

Peter was astounded. “Who are you, and what have you done with my Tony?” My Tony? What? “I- why should I trust you? I’m sure as hell not getting in a car with you.”

Tony’s face fell. A bit of- what, disappointment? flew across his face. Peter would’ve missed it had he not been staring, impatient for his answer. Tony, floundering at the rejection, couldn’t give him one.

“Okay, maybe- how about this. I’ll think about it. Give me five minutes to go wash up and I’ll be back.” He turned & headed inside, not waiting for a response.

The cool water felt good against his burning, salt-stained cheeks. Peter hadn’t realized just how tired he was – opens had always taken it out of him, and the early spring temperatures didn’t always prevent the stand from turning into a heater during rush hour.

The soap in the stand was always too fragrant for his taste, but it did the job – it felt good to wash away the day’s work and come back looking like a new man. He smoothed his eyebrows down and dried himself off, wetting his hair a bit as he finished.

He wound up with grind in it again, brushing it out with a comb he found in the first aid kit. One of these days he was going to have to start wearing hats to work. Shampooing his hair every single day was taking its toll on his curls, and he wasn’t a fan of burnt coffee smell.

Stepping back, he squinted into the warped mirror in front of him. Much better.

Back outside, Tony’d lit up his third cigarette of the day. The shakes’d largely abandoned him, allowing his anxiety to drift inward. The sticks only did so much – he missed the higher, stronger hit of his Suorin, but he was trying to quit (ironically enough).

He was actually able to finish this one by the time Peter made his way back outside, looking significantly better without $5 worth of product on his face.

“Okay, some rules.” He came up, stopping just short of Tony. “You’re paying for both of us. We leave whenever I want, without complaint. We go straight there and come straight back - it’s eight blocks, I don’t want any bullshit scenic routes.” His tone was firm – something Tony’d never encountered with him before. 

“Yes. Yes, anything. Okay.” 

Tony’s car was a lot nicer than Peter anticipated. He’d recently sold his truck, swapping it for a silver Mini Cooper instead. It was a pretty little thing, just up his alley.

It was also fucking obnoxious. He’d bought it with a modified exhaust and had plans to make it even louder. You could almost always hear him coming, little pop pop pops audible for quite a ways. 

It was… less clean than Peter expected. Tony was always so well put together, so well-maintained - seeing stray gum wrappers and drink cups littered around the interior was almost jarring. He didn’t realize he was staring until Tony spoke up. 

“She’s nice, isn’t she?” Peter nodded. He silently took in his new surroundings, nerves on fire. He’d never done well around strangers, in new places. His mind’d always screamed at him, danger unsafe bad run, overriding his sensibilities.

“Hey, are you good? I can take you back if you need.” They’d barely left the Outback parking lot. 

��No- no, I think I’ll be okay. Just… not where I thought I’d end up when I woke up today, y’know?” Peter tried to laugh it off, but he’d always been pretty transparent. 

Tony turned a corner, cutting back into the lot they just came from and turning the car off. “Seriously, Peter. If you don’t want to come to lunch with me just say so. I’ll take you back to your car and we can pretend it never happened.” Okay, seriously, who the fuck is this guy and what did he do with Tony?

“No, I- I think I’m okay. Seriously. Let’s just go and get it over with - I kinda want to hear you grovel anyway.” He settled further into his seat, failing to shake away the agitation. 

The flatbread was actually really good. It was more of a hipster take on pizza - white sauce and pearl onions definitely making it stand out - but it wasn’t a bad lunch by any means. 

The beer definitely wasn’t Peter’s favorite. He was barely sipping by, trying hard to keep a straight face as he swallowed. Damn Richie anyway. 

It’d started off awkward enough - discussing where to sit, small talk about their week, the weather. It felt more like a bad first date than an apology, but- 

“I really am sorry. For what happened in the fridge.” 

Oh. 

“Okay. Why?” Peter tightened the hand around his glass, bracing for Tony’s next words. 

“I.. I was kind of an asshole when I was younger, too. I figured I could make a fresh start here with a brand new town of people that didn’t know or assume anything about me.

“I was doing okay for a little while, too, but I don’t know man I just.. something happened and I just- I don’t know why I’m a dick to you. But I’m trying not to be. This is that, like, ‘first step’, I guess?” Peter nodded along, attentive. 

"So, I don't know. I'm sorry for being a dick to you at work. I'm sorry for being a dick to the girls. I shouldn't yell at you or drag your family into this bullshit - I'm sorry, Peter."

There it was again, that name. His first fucking name. 

“I- thank you, Tony. It’s a start, and I certainly haven’t forgiven you, but… thank you. Seriously.” Tony sighed, shoulders visibly relaxing. Peter let go of his glass and wiped it off, standing and walking around to Tony’s side of the table. 

“Okay then, time for a do-over! Hi, I’m Peter Parker. I’m 19 and I’ve worked at Outback North Espresso for a little over 9 months. What’s your name?” He stuck his hand out, waiting for Tony to make the next move.  

Tony laughed, pushing his chair back and standing to meet the other teen. “Okay, uh, I’m Tony Stark, I’m 18, and I’ve worked at Outback for almost 6. Nice to re-meet you, Peter.” He shook Peter’s hand, awestruck at just how soft it was. He quickly steeled his face and sat back down, releasing Peter and allowing him to do the same. 

Once he was sat back down at his side, Peter looked up, confused. “Wait, you’re still 18?” 

Tony laughed. “Not for long. My birthday’s at the end of next month.” 

“Wow, I can’t believe I’m older than you!” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “That’s - it’s literally three months, that barely counts.” 

Their debate lasted well into the afternoon, alongside several other discussions. Peter’s childhood in Richland, and what it was like growing up there. What Federal Way was like, and why Tony left. Peter could tell he was remaining intentionally vague, but didn’t push it. 

Their beers were warm and the pizza was long gone by the time they abandoned their table. Tony guided him out the back, hand high on his arm. 

Once they were back in the car, Peter’s anxiety returned. It was like he’d spent the last few hours speaking to a completely different person, and now that he was sitting mere inches from Tony… 

He wasn’t scared. He wasn’t. He wasn’t… sure, exactly. What it was. 

Tony spoke up when he noticed the tension in his passenger seat. 

“Hey, we’ll get you back to your car soon, I promise. Eight blocks, remember?” His right hand made its way to Peter’s knee, digging soft circles into the denim. Just like in the fridge.

“Please don’t- don’t touch me. Without asking.” It came out harsher than intended. 

“Okay, all good. No worries. We’re like, two minutes away.” Tony eased off the clutch, turning right out of the parking lot and onto the road. The windows rolled down and Peter let his head fall back in relief. Fresh air always helped him clear his head. 

It really was a short drive - right turn, left turn, right turn - and they were back at Peter’s car. The doors unlocked, and he was out in an instant. A bit too fast to be respectful, if he was being honest, but he knew he needed out. Tony stopped him before he was able to get in his car. 

“Hey, for real. Thank you for today. I’m sorry if it was too much.” 

Peter looked over and down to meet his eyes. “I- yeah, of course. No, yeah, thank you. For the apology. I’m sorry I freaked out on you. But no this- it was good. Yeah. Thank you, Tony.” 

He turned, unlocking the door and closing it before either could say anything else. After turning the key he sped off, without throwing even a glance behind him. 

Tony watched as Peter peeled away, reaching for the box of Pall Malls in his cupholder. He lit one, shifting into first and heading in the opposite direction. 

Not bad. Not good, but not bad. 

lmk if u want on or off the tags list!

@snowstark @kaleidoscopeluli @parkerrbitch @carelessannie​ @bluestarker​ @longlivestarker​ 

[eryiss]

Ship: Freed x Laxus

Rating: Teen

Prompt: Two Bros Chilling in A Hot Tub/Lightning Struck

Summary: Freed knew he had a lot to learn about being a professional wizard, and when he was paired up with Laxus for a mission he expected to learn a lot. He didn't expect to spend a day with him in a hot tub, and he certainly didn't expect to get an entirely unrelated education about life and about love.

Notes: Hello everyone, happy Fraxus Week. For the two bonus days, I've murged the prmopts together to make a two-shot. The second chapter will be uploaded on July the 22nd. I hope you all enjoy it, and head over to @fuckyeahfraxus to see all the other content for the event.

Links: Chapter Two ||| Event Masterlist ||| Archive of Our Own, Fanfiction

Chapter One

Year: X782

Location: Magnolia, Fiore

Professional Wizardry was still new to Freed. He hadn't wandered into the profession without the expectation that he'd be forced to do things that previously would have been unthinkable, or that his life wouldn't change entirely the moment he had joined a guild, but he felt like he was learning a new aspect to his profession every day. His expectations of the job and the reality of the job was almost entirely different, and Freed found himself enjoying the challenge.

He'd thought he'd be on missions near constantly. He'd go to some place in Fiore, use his magic to fight off a monster or dark wizard, and get paid for it. He hadn't expected there to be a community attached to it, that they'd be such a rigid tier system of missions, and how missions could be anything from finding a lost item, to being on a team attempting to disband a cult. There was so much more, and it was all fascinating.

After his eighteenth birthday three months prior, the jobs that he was allowed to accept had greatly opened up. They were more difficult, presented him with a greater threat to his life, and he was relishing the challenge. He could have gone on those missions earlier, but he much preferred working alone. While he was accepting that being in Fairy Tail meant there was a certain level of comradery with fellow guildmates, and that with that comradery there also came obligations, he didn't see the point in splitting his finances with others while he was powerful enough to perform these missions on his own and take home all the money himself.

The exception to this was Laxus Dreyar.

Master Makarov had approached Freed on his birthday with a proposition. He was worried for his grandson, wanted someone to look after him, and wondered if Freed would mind occasionally attending missions with him. He claimed that, while officially the money would be split between them, Makarov himself would make up the difference for Freed so that he would be paid in full. Freed had agreed, and that had been that.

Up until that afternoon, Freed had not gone on any missions with Laxus. They'd hardly spoken, even with Makarov's assurances that they'd get along. Freed would only be on certain missions and that afternoon's mission was apparently one of them. Makarov told Laxus Freed needed training in more advanced missions, and that he should be the one to do it. Laxus hadn't argued.

Somehow, while attending to a supposedly A-Class mission, they found themselves in Magnolia's hot spring and spa resort.

It was surveillance, so the mission stated. The Rune Army themselves had place the job, stating that they believed that members of a potential dark guild were using the site to host meetings and plan attacks. The resort had been trying to get rid of the suspects but couldn't do so without putting their staff in danger, and having an army presence suddenly appearing would tip the dark guild off and give them time to hide all evidence. The Rune Army wanted mages from Magnolia who could plausibly be in the spa for leisure time, but could also defend themselves from attack, to watch them for suspicious activity. Freed had a feeling that Laxus had taken the job to have a day relaxing in a spa, rather than because he felt the Rune Army needed the help.

None of this would have been a problem for Freed – he'd long since accepted that what constituted a job was a wide array of things – if it weren't for the elephant in the room. Or to be more precise, the Adonis wearing nothing but swimming trunks in the room.

Freed was a professional, but he was also eighteen years old and in the presence of an undeniably handsome man. Nobody, no matter their opinions on Laxus, would state that he was anything but sexy. Tall, blonde, square jawed, barrel chested with a scar over his eye and a tattoo over his pecs. His abs looked to be cut from steel and his legs comparable to tree trunks and, well, Freed was only human. Laxus was distracting.

"So," Laxus suddenly spoke as he slung a towel over his shoulder. "I don't exactly know what Gramps wants you to learn from this, but I'll try and teach ya some shit. Surveillance rule number one: fit in with yer surroundings. You seem pretty good at that."

It was only a moment, but Laxus' assessing gaze over Freed's body was exhilarating. But unprofessional.

Laxus didn't seem to notice, and instead started to walk out of the locker room they'd both changed in, and towards the area where they were meant to be watching. Freed followed, making sure to look straight ahead, rather than give into temptation to check out the man's back and his ass, and it wasn't a difficult task. While Freed had no qualms admitting his attraction to the blonde, he knew where his focus needed to be put. The mission was important, not his hormonal desire for his guildmate.

"That's the door we need to watch," Laxus said as he tilted his head to the door. Freed knew that of course, but Laxus was speaking again before he could say anything. "Pretty open room, lots of vantage points. Where should we go?"

Ah, it was a test then. Good, a worthy distraction and hopefully it would nip any ideas that Freed was in some way Laxus' inferior in the bud. Freed looked around the room quickly, glanced towards the door that they needed to keep in their sights, and quickly made a plan of how the rest of the day would go. Strategy was his strong suit.

"The hot tub," He said firmly. "At least for now."

"Why only for now?" Laxus asked. There was no condensation in his tone, he was simply asking for Freed's reasoning.

"Staying in the same place throughout the afternoon would be suspicious. We know who the suspects are, but that doesn't mean they're the only people involved, so we need to look like regular customers constantly," Freed explained, speaking quietly as they walked further into the room. "As we've only just got here, it makes sense for us to use a facility instantly. Going to sit by the pool or at the juice bar would be odd, at least for now. The massage tables and spa treatments are too distracting, but the hot tub allows us to sit and watch without anyone questioning it. It'll give us the lay of the land without drawing any attention on us."

"And we both have to do it?" Laxus probed. "Wouldn't it make more sense to split up and cover more ground.

"Later," Freed dismissed. "We came in together; we'll need to do things at the same time at least once in a while. As I said, the treatments are distracting and as such we should do them one at a time rather than simultaneously. If we spend the whole day apart after we've arrived together, it'll raise suspicion. The hot tub is a good vantage point, and so a good way to be seen together while not losing an advantage."

Laxus thought for a moment, before nodding, clasping Freed on the bare shoulder, and giving him the smallest of grins. "Yer good at this."

"Of course I am," Freed retorted, and that seemed to make Laxus grin wider.

They walked towards the hot tub, which was at the back wall, attached to the main pool. As it was a Tuesday afternoon, only a few people were loitering around the resort and the hot tub was empty. Freed placed his towel on the handle provided and walked into the hot tub, soaking his entire body sans his head in the hot, bubbling water. His muscles relaxed instantly, and he felt himself slinking down ever so slightly.

"You ain't here to relax," Laxus said in a voice almost teasing as he climbed the stairs into the tub. "Eyes on the mission, remember."

Freed went to point out that, given Laxus was looking at him rather than at the door, he was just as distracted. But Laxus chose that moment to sit down, submerging his chest in water and spreading his arms wide. His left hand was close to Freed's shoulder, and Freed felt that it was an act of great resilience that he didn't give into base urges and watch Laxus as he adjusted to his relaxed, wet – very very wet – state.

"I will if you will," Freed eventually said back, looking towards the door. He missed how Laxus' gaze lingered on his body just a little too long.

They fell into silence, and Freed made a genuine effort to keep his gaze away from the man who shared the hot tub with him. He truly hadn't thought this through. He hadn't realised that, as good as Laxus looked from afar, he looked better up-close. Maybe he should have denied the request to join the mission. And maybe he should have worn a looser swimsuit…

"So," Laxus said after a while, looking up at the ceiling for a moment to crack his neck. "How much is the old man paying you to spy on me?"

Freed halted, and removed his eyes from the door and looked towards Laxus. His face only, of course. "Excuse me."

"Rule two, you gotta trust the guys you're working with. So don't bullshit yer team members," Laxus said with a little grin. "Answer the question."

"For every mission that I do with you, he'll cover all the money you take from it, so I'm fully paid," Freed explained. He saw no point in lying.

"Guess we're gonna be doing some well-paying missions together then, if we wanna bleed the old bastard dry," Laxus smirked, and it was an oddly alluring look on the man. Freed looked away from it, and towards the door again. "You gonna tell him that I'm onto him?"

"I'd rather keep the deal up, I can get good money doing this," Freed shrugged, and he saw Laxus grinning a little from the corner of his eye. He tried not to pay attention to the expression, and instead focused on a man who could fit the description of a suspect. The man walked past the door, but that didn't mean he wasn't who they were looking for. "Why did you agree to this if you knew your grandfather wants reports on you?"

"Because it's gonna happen anyway, might as well accept it," Laxus shrugged. "I knew he was gonna get someone to do it, kinda glad that it's you."

"Why?"

"Because yer interesting," Laxus said, looking up at the ceiling again and closing his eyes as he lowered himself deeper into the water. Freed's gaze flickered low on the man's abs for a moment before looking to the door again. "We get a hell of a lot of mages joining Fairy Tail. Lots of people who think they're tough shit and wanna become the next powerhouse. Yer the only person I think whose got a chance of actually doing it."

The compliment was flattering. Laxus had something of a reputation for being generally rude and selfish, and either they were exaggerated or Laxus was making an exception. Freed felt it was a combination of both, but he accepted the compliment without complaint.

"You know my magic?" He asked.

"I've been keeping tabs on you since you came here, yer interesting," Laxus nodded, wading a hand through the water absently and sending ripples through the bubbles. "People give the darker magics a lot of shit. They're idiots. You can kick ass, and you're not bad to be around. Pretty much the opposite of a Fairy Tail mage right now."

"Does that opinion extend to you?"

"What d'you think?" Laxus asked with a cocky expression that Freed found himself enjoying.

"I wouldn't be here if I thought you weak."

"Good."

They fell into a silence, with the bubbling water warming Freed and making his muscles loose and relaxed. He kept a steady gaze on the door, making sure to avert his eyes when someone walked into the room, so his staring wasn't too obvious. It was a worthy distraction, and one well needed now that Laxus had apparently been watching him for all of eight months. That, combined with the fact that Laxus was wearing swimming trunks and was less than five feet away, could all become rather an issue if Freed didn't focus on anything else.

"Okay, your turn to relax now," Laxus said, cutting through Freed's thoughts. His voice was a little more relaxed. "You can't stay lookin' at the door all day. You'll get a crick in the neck."

"I'll be fine," Freed dismissed.

"Doesn't matter," Laxus stated, shifting slightly to get closer to Freed. It was to get a better view of the door, but the body heat that rivalled the warmth of the water was a noticeable feeling and Freed tensed. "Rule Three: lean on yer teammates. Sometimes you'll need to slack off, that ain't something to fight against. So long as someone in the team is on full alert it isn't too bad a problem. So sit back, close yer eyes, and let me take over for a while."

Freed was hesitant, but Laxus was clearly taking over keeping his gaze on the door, and Freed eventually found himself sliding down to further cover his body in water, and closed his eyes as relaxation flowed through him.

When his mind began to slip, Freed found himself thinking that Laxus was actually rather helpful. Freed wasn't quite so arrogant to think he knew everything about wizarding work, and an S-Class mage would have things to teach. Laxus especially would be useful to learn from, given their apparently similarities in working styles. Freed would need to learn how to work in a team, even if it wasn't fond of the idea, and Laxus might know how to offer actual advice rather than pointless mantras like 'your team should be your family' and other nonsense he'd heard from Fairy Tail. Without lying about why he was there, his team-ups with Laxus might be mutually beneficial.

Perhaps relaxing wasn't too bad an idea, either. Freed's mind had been somewhat consumed by his work. Finding a place to live as a seventeen-year-old had been difficult, and he'd put in a lot of effort in getting rent on time. But now he got better paying jobs, that urgency could fall away a little.

With a bit of effort, he tried to push the fact he was on a job to the back of his mind.

Once this whole thing was dealt with, maybe he would invest in a pass for the resort. In his preliminary research for the mission, he'd heard good things about the facilities, and even though he'd only been in the hot tub as of yet, he felt inclined to agree.

Though perhaps Laxus' company was partially to blame for his mood.

Fairy Tail had sometimes felt like a lonely place. Their focus on friendship, family and their revoltingly sentimental ideas about goodness were nice in principle, but when you were on the outside looking in it could get under your skin. Freed knew he was at fault for his lack of relationships with his guildmates, but perhaps Laxus might be a good starting point. Ironic, given that nearly everyone had told him Laxus was off-putting and rude.

The bubbles sent a pleasant chill over him, and Freed felt his tenseness ebbing away. When he got a pass for the resort, he'd have to explore the idea of a massage. He'd never thought it appealing, but perhaps he could be convinced.

There wouldn't be much convincing needed if Laxus were the one massaging him.

"Shit," Laxus hissed, and Freed's eyes whipped open. A rush of panic filled him that somehow he might have said that aloud, but the idea was ridiculous. He looked to Laxus to see worry flickering over him. "The suspect saw me looking, I think he went to get backup."

"Are you sure?" Freed asked, mind suddenly back on focus again.

"No, but we made eye contact. He's suspicious of me," Laxus was clenching his teeth, seemingly annoyed at himself. "We can't fuck it up, the Rune Army don't take shit like this lightly. We need a distraction or to get out."

"A distraction will be easier," Freed concluded. "Does he know for sure that we're looking out for him?"

"I wasn't being careful. I was watching him for about a full minute without being subtle. Pretty sure he knows it's not a passing glance."

"But that doesn't mean you know what he's doing, it just means you were looking at him," Freed mused aloud. "What if we throw him off the scent, give him another reason for why you were so focused on him."

"The hell would that be?" Laxus growled a little, and Freed scanned the room. They were the only two people in there now.

"Maybe you wanted him gone," Freed thought, plans forming in his head. Many of them he had to dismiss outright. "Perhaps if he sees something he wasn't meant to see, he'll think you were looking at him because you wanted him to leave."

"What the hell would I wanna do that I wouldn't want him seeing?" Laxus snapped, agitation rising. An idea came to Freed. It was good, it would get them out of the situation no doubt, but it might have a few repercussions in the future. Many arguments both for and against it flung through his mind, and his indecision must have been obvious, as Laxus continued talking a moment later. "Rule four, if a mission's going to shit and you think you can salvage it, you do it. So if you've got any ideas, I'd love to hear them."

Freed went to open his mouth to explain his idea, but he heard movement from across the room and glanced towards the door. It was opening, and two more suspects were walking through it, stone-faced and angry.

Before he could second guess himself, he launched himself onto Laxus and began to kiss him.

It was a sloppy, energetic, and passionate kiss. Laxus was frozen for a few moments, but Freed forced himself to push on in the hope that Laxus was trying to understand what was happening. Laxus quickly started to kiss back, and a hand ran down Freed's back, pulling him close. Freed began to mess his hands through Laxus' hair, heart pounding and a ringing in his ears cutting through his panic. He couldn't think of how bad an idea this was, about how there were probably hundreds of other ways to deal with this, because rumours stated that the dark mages were powerful, and he didn't want to get into a fight he could avoid.

Kissing wasn't enough for his plan. People kissed all the time. They needed to get… intimate. Freed began to run his hands over Laxus' torso – damn was he strong – and he felt large hands groping at his ass in return. He gasped into the kiss, and forced himself to remember that it was just for the mission.

The sound of a door closing snapped him back to reality, and he glanced to the side without breaking the kiss to see the suspects had left. He pulled himself off of Laxus, to find he'd been dragged so he was straddling the man's thigh at some point, and turned away with a blush, panting quietly.

"Good plan," Laxus said, voice also breathless. "Think it threw them off."

"Yes," Freed agreed. He couldn't look towards Laxus now. He simply couldn't. "I'm sorry for doing-"

"Don't, you did what you had to do," Laxus cut him off, voice somewhat stern, which wasn't helping the situation. "I would've done the same if I thought of it, and you fixed my fuck up. So no complaints."

"Okay," Freed didn't feel any better. He stood up and reached for his towel, still not looking at Laxus. "I think I should sit at the juice bar for a while, we've been together for long enough."

"Wait," Laxus began, shifting slightly but Freed was climbing from the hot tub before he could reach for him. "This ain't- you don't have to leave on my account."

"I'm not," Freed lied. Because of course he was. Laxus might be straight, he might not like Freed, and he might not appreciate being kissed like that at random. "If we spend all out time in the hot tub, it'll look odd. It was overdue, more so now they've seen us."

Laxus looked ready to argue, but sighed and nodded. Freed walked towards the juice bar, fighting the urge to touch his lips. Electricity danced over them.

Kissing Laxus… it felt like being struck by lightning.

[redhairedwolfwitch]

One Chicago Women x Reader Prompts

These prompts are amalgamated from pinterest, my brain (I made some tv show references) and tumblr, with a bonus contribution from @talatomaz but anyways the rules: max of two prompts (you can send just one if you don't want to pick two), I need the prompt number and the dialogue. A lot of these prompts can work together well if you take a moment to think, but they are for the One Chicago Women for some x reader fics. Thanks to whoever reads this.

Also, some of the requests give you freedom to a little Grey's Anatomy crossover but I'm only on season 7.

1) “I didn’t come to fight.”

2) “Do you need a hug?” “I don’t want a hug.” “I didn’t ask if you wanted one. I asked if you needed one.”

3) “I heard you talking in your sleep.”

4) “I love you, from the bottom of my heart, but I don’t trust your cooking. Stay out of my kitchen.”

5) “Sorry doesn’t fix everything.”

6) “I’m fine. Stop asking.”

7) “Where did you get those bruises?”

8) “I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

9) “Stop messing with your IV!”

10) “Since when did you have a tattoo?”

11) “I like you.” “You really shouldn’t.”

12) “Move or be moved.”

13) “Please don’t do this!”

14) “Oh, honey, that joke was terrible.”

15) “Wow, that was adorable.”

16) “You’re in love with them!” “No, I’m not!” “You just agreed to do the one thing you hate, because they asked you to!” “Dammit!”

17) “Your eyes are all red. Have you been crying?”

18) “Do you think you can get up or are you going to continue to use me as your pillow?”

19) “You know what they say about hope, right? Breeds eternal misery.”

20) “Why are you avoiding me?”

21) “It’s three in the morning, why are you calling at three in the morning?”

22) “Why do you only have one shoe? Where’s your other shoe?”

23) “Kiss me you idiot.”

24) “I swear, if you start quoting one of those stupid sitcoms at me because I argued with them, I will steal one sock from each pair you own, over a long period of time, and eventually you will run out of matching socks.”

25) “I need you to pretend to be my date.” “What, why me? Ask someone else!” “No, it has to be you.” “What do you mean it has to be me?”

26) “I think something’s broken.” “Oh yeah, you’ve definitely broken something.” “How can you tell?” “Y/n, I’m looking at the bone right now and it’s definitely not straight.” “Neither am I.” “That’s the meds talking, but I support you.”

27) “Why do you have a baseball bat?” “I thought you were a predator.” “Did you just quote Teen Wolf? Ugh, whatever, I brought takeaway.”

28) “Where did you come from?” “Hell. I’m kidding, I was across the street, but I’m from…”

29) “Have you considered shutting up?”

30) “Wow, you have really pretty eyes.”

31) “I regret nothing.” “Do you even remember what you’re supposed to be regretting?”

32) “Wait you’re related to them? You two are nothing alike!”

33) “Are you glaring at me in the hopes that I will burst into flames?” “I wasn’t glaring…” “They weren’t glaring, they were ogling you.”

34) “Are you seriously leaving without saying goodbye?” “Why would I say goodbye if I was planning on asking you to come with me?”

35) “Why Seattle, of all places? “We’re visiting my sibling, who happens to work at a hospital in Seattle… also I’ve never seen the Space Needle.”

36) “Who’s your alibi?” “Um… your sibling.” “My sibling is your alibi… you’ve got to be kidding me.”

37) “Why do you have a cat? Since when have you had a cat?”

38) “I mean, what are you going to do? Run to the airport and snog them in the terminal before they get on their flight? Oh, I should not have given you that idea.”

39) “What happened to you?” “The universe said fuck you, that’s what happened.”

40) “Oh please, it’s hard to hate me, I’m adorable.”

41) “You’re cute when you’re half asleep, you’re like a dozy kitten, kitten.” “Urf, I’m too tired for your cheesiness.”

42) “You don’t think about how much you miss a person until they’re gone.”

[radiorenjun]

I Don't Need It

• Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

• Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

• Na Jaemin despised the idea of soulmates, he wanted to fight against fate for choosing his soulmate for him. Even if it means his stubborn childhood best friend wouldn't stop trying to make him accept about the similar tattoos on their wrists.

• Masterlist here!

• Chapters: vii, viii

"What? They can't just break up like that!" you gaped, shaking Renjun's shoulder lightly to exaggerate your point. Renjun rolled his eyes before clicking his tongue, "oh come on, you didn't see that coming? Their relationship was bound to end at some point, y/n."

You were both binge watching the ninth season of The Big Bang Theory at your house, originally planning to study and do chemistry homework  together, but being the procrastinator you were, you ended up getting distracted. Hence, why the two of you are sitting on your bed watching one of the most heartbreaking episodes on The Big Bang Theory while munching on some pizza,

“But they were so cute together! My Shelamy heart can’t take this, Injun!” you shook your best friend aggressively as you continue to whine, ignoring the sighing boy who was contemplating on why he was even friends with you in the first place. “He even got a ring for her, if that isn’t the cutest thing ever then I don’t know what is,” you groaned, collapsing on your bed as the thought of someone giving you a wedding ring made your heart flutter.

“Always the hopeless romantic,” Renjun sighs, running a hand down his face as if to say ‘I’m so done right now’. “Disgusting,” he teased, letting out a soft grunt once he felt you throw a pillow at the back of his head. “Shut up, nerd. You still have to find your soulmate, why not let your magnificent best friend mourn over the fact that she’s gonna be single for the rest of her life and let a girl dream?” you joked, earning a dark glare from Renjun.

Ouch, why did that hurt? It was your own joke after all. 

“Don’t say that you sadist. You need to stop making jokes bout the bad things in life, that’s not very healthy.” Renjun lectured, his hand coming up to pinch your cheek hard. You frowned, pulling his hand away from you as you chuckled nervously. “You know me, Jun. Humor is a coping mechanism for everything. I’m mad at you when you mock me for simping over Timothée Chalamet when he starred on Little Women? I use sarcastic humor as a revenge.” 

“I feel frustrated for failing that test because the damn substitute teacher wouldn’t believe me that I didn’t skip school instead of spending the whole day in the infirmary with a twisted ankle, watching Goblin with the nurse? I use sardonic humor to snap back at said teacher.”

“I get sad for accepting the fact that I am going to be single for the rest of my life? I use dark humor to cope with it instead of curling up in a ball and eat ice cream for the rest of my life and get Type 2 Diabetes.” you shrugged shamelessly as Renjun gaped at you, rubbing his temples to slowly process on your words. “Okay, firstly,” he started.

“One, Timothée Chalamet in that movie was desperately simping over a girl who clearly didn’t deserve him. Come on, tell me you didn’t get annoyed when he keep saying the l word at Jo despite her spilling her feelings out and rejecting him countless of times.” Renjun inhaled, his eyes boring widely into yours, his words speaking nothing but facts. “I get that but-” you started before the older boy cut you off, “I’m not done yet.”

“Secondly, that substitute teacher wasn’t even a teacher. She was an ear raping machine, no one liked her. Also, I gotta admit spending a whole school day watching the Goblin arguing with The Grim Reaper instead of spending excruciating hours writing your wrist off and trying not to snooze in the middle of Mr. Lee’s math lecture would’ve been the most luxurious thing a student could ever ask for”. And I am pissed off you got injured and left me there in class, suffering all by myself.” he laughed, flicking you on the forehead teasingly.

“Lastly, if you want to say something bout Jaemin, you know you could’ve just say so instead of sugar coating it.” Renjun sucked in his lips, smacking you with the pillow you threw at him previously, mentally preparing himself to comfort you knowing that you’re bout to go on another rant of how much you missed Jaemin. But if it helps you feel better and take another small step to moving on, then he’ll listen to you rant til his brain implodes.

You frowned, letting out a soft chuckle. “You know me too well, Jun.” you felt tears lining up your eyes, you leaned your head up, trying to blink the tears away. “It’s not helping when he’s literally next door. Or in the same school as I am, or in the same planet.” you leaned back to lay on your back on the mattress, your pillow hugged tightly to your chest as you let out a heavy, frustrated sigh.

Renjun patted your knee, silently urging you to continue to let out your thoughts. You couldn’t advert your gaze away from your ceiling, “He used to be so sweet before this whole soulmate ordeal,” you began with a sniffle. “Honestly, middle school was one of the best eras of my life. When me and Jaemin were just clowns on crack playing Five Nights At Freddy’s and goofing off, it still makes my heart flutter when I think bout the memorable moments we shared in middle school.” you closed your eyes as a flood of memories clouded your mind.

  7th grade, an iconic year for your friendship. “Y/N!” Jaemin called out from the other side of the classroom, causing you to turn to him in the middle of your little gossip session with your friends. “You wanna play truth or dare with us?” he asked with a sweet smile, a few of your classmates gathering to the back of the class to sit down in a circle. You nodded in excitement, ditching your friends in hopes you get a spicy dare.

You sat in between Lia and Jeno, rubbing your hands together as you waited your turn to either give or receive a truth or dare. “Jaemin! Truth or dare?” a boy whose name you can’t recall asked with a mischievous smile. Jaemin rolled his eyes before answering “dare” with a bold, cocky smirk, eyes practically challenging his classmate to give him an extreme dare. The boy stopped to contemplate before turning to him with a cheeky chesire grin.

“Since you’re so close to Y/n, why don’t you sit on her lap?” the boy snarled, causing your classmates to let out whistles and soft “ooo”s around you. You raised a brow, “wait a second, that’s not fair. This is his dare not mine, why am I the one being sat on.” you whined as Jaemin tried to hide his flustered expression of sitting on his best friend’s lap. “Well, it’s a dare either way, he’s gotta do it whether he wants to or not.” he stuck his tongue out at you as you hissed back.

“Fine.” you mumbled as Jaemin laughed and tried to conceal his flustered expression and sat on your lap idly, his hands in between his legs as you try to restrain yourself from wrapping your arms around his waist and making things even more awkward than it already is. “What’s the big deal? You wanted me to sit on her lap, why are you so shocked?” Jaemin laughed as a few of your classmates just stared at the two of you in disbelief. 

“How are you not uncomfortable with a guy sitting on top of your lap?” your friend asked from across the group circle. You shrugged, raising your brow as Jaemin lets out a laugh, shrugging in response as well. “Is it wrong for a person to sit on their best friend’s lap?” Jaemin asked with a raise of his brow, a teasing smile evident on his face as your friend struggled to find the words to say next.

“I must admit, you are quite heavy. I don’t think my legs are going to last long with your heavy, tall giraffe-like body.” you laughed, causing Jaemin to turn his head back at you with a glare, letting out a small sinister smile. ”That sounds like a ‘you’ problem, y/n. Suffer.” he spoke in a bittersweet tone.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that you had Mr. Na Jaemin sitting on your lap? For how long? All because of a dare?” Renjun paused, rubbing his temples to process this whole information. He knew Jaemin was a shameless and rather affectionately touchy boy, but he didn’t know that he was willing to accept such a gutsy dare. Yet again, this is you, he’s talking bout. The person who kept going for two years despite being rejected and gossiped left and right.

You shrugged, sitting up on the bed. “I was like, 11 years old. What do you want me to do, Huang? Born to be the family disgrace.” you grinned proudly, wiggling your brows as you placed a hand under your chin to pose dramatically. “You shouldn’t be proud of that. Weird flex but okay,” Renjun sighed heavily, raising a bottle of coke to his lips.

You inhaled as you began to spill another memorable moment from your childhood. 

If there was one thing you and Jaemin had in common, it was that you both have absolutely no shame when flaring your dramatics.

It was 5th grade, you assume, when you and Jaemin had your first indirect kiss. It was a disturbingly iconic moment for the two of you, considering years after the incident you two kept doing it as if it were a part of your daily routine. You were at that age where kids around you were starting to take notice bout the soulmate concept. Teachers began explaining how the soulmate system worked during science class, causing you to involuntarily look at Jaemin from time to time to catch his disgusted expressions.

Often, snickering at the boy sitting in front of you who was gagging and mimicking the teacher as she explains. Sticking his tongue out in disgust when they started explaining the left tattoo concept. Jaemin sighed heavily, his hand stretching out to grab the water bottle on his table. His finger raised to push the lid off with a small pop, drinking without hesitation.

Jaemin looked down as he closed the lid and his brows furrowed at the oh-so-familiar name label on the lid of said water bottle. Written on the pink label with a sailor moon picture on the side was Y/N L/N. Jaemin almost threw up when he turned to you slowly, making you look up from your notes to give him a questioning nod at his horrified expression.

The little boy raised the water bottle to show you your little sailor moon label, making you raise your brow questioningly, as if to say, ‘what’s wrong with my sailor moon label?’ 

Crud, he forgot you were using the same water bottles your parents got you when you were both shopping at the thrift store.

Your eyes widened in realization when Jaemin pointed at himself and your bottle, trying not to scream in terror and get a scolding from your strict science teacher. ‘Did you,’ you mouthed, pointing an accusitory finger at the boy sitting in distress in front of you. ‘Drink from my,’ you continued, using your other hand to point dramatically at yourself then to your bottle that was still in his hands. ’My bottle?’ you asked with wide terrified eyes.

Jaemin practically gulped nervously, nodding in response. You both took a moment just staring into each other’s terrified expression, before mouthing ‘what the heck?!’ or ‘oh crud’ repeatedly, as to not gain your teacher’s attention.’You drank from my water bottle, Jaemin?!’ you mouthed, rubbing your hands against your face in distress. ‘How am i suppose to drink now?’ you whined, facepalming now that Jaemin had placed your water bottle back on your desk.

‘How am I suppose to live now knowing your spit is basically in my body? ‘ Jaemin shudders in response, grabbing his throat with disgust laced across his face. ‘Gross, I have your germs in my mouth.’ he stuck his tongue out in disgust, fake gagging as you rolled your eyes.

Renjun just gave you an incredulous look, his mouth gaping open, trying to decide whether to laugh or shake his head profusely. “Gosh, you two were born to be so dramatic. Seriously, while other people are having a mental breakdown over doing algebra, you two were in the back of the class making lovey-dovey faces because you two had your first indirect kiss.” Renjun laughed, clapping his hands as he howled back in laughter.

You sat up and whined, smacking your best friend with the pillow you were hugging earlier, causing him to laugh even more.”Oh god, I wish I came here sooner to witness that.” he wheezed, dodging your hits with his forearms as you continued to smack him on the face, chanting “shut up, Huang!” repeatedly in shame.

“I couldn’t drink from that bottle for months! It was my favorite bottle, too! The fact that Jaemin brings that bottle to school everyday was just traumatizing for the both of us! Instant trauma,” you groaned, leaning back dramatically against the mattress. Renjun laughed, smacking you with a pillow. “How did that even happen?” he asked incredulously.

“Some kid decided it would be funny to switch our bottles.” you pouted, stretching your arms across the bed like a starfish. “Did you two do anything bout it?” Renjun asked, his brows raising in amusement, practically eating your hilarious story up like it was a tub of candy. You sighed, looking away for a moment before mumbling under your breath.

“Jaemin said we should’ve replace the water in his water bottle with tap water from the bathroom, but I didn’t want to risk the guy getting a tummy ache so I spat in his drink instead.“

Renjun howled with laughter, a hand coming to hold his stomach as he leaned his head back laughing. “Why would you- Oh my god, this is gold. I can’t-” he wheezed, tears lining his vision as his tummy started to ache from laughing so hard. “Shut up! I was like, nine years old at the time. At that exact moment I felt no remorse for my actions whatsoever but now that I said it, it makes me feel even worse!” you whine, your feet kicking Renjun off the bed.

He landed on your carpet floor with a loud thud, his laughter subsiding into giggles. “That’s the chaotic energy everyone in this generation wants to have, holy shit, why wasn’t this documented ? This could’ve gone down as one of the most iconic moments in history. Honestly, whoever that kid who switched your bottle was, he’s that hero that doesn’t even need a cape.” he jokes, sitting up to earn a death glare from you.

Oh, if looks could kill, right now.

“Whatever, you sadist. Enjoying your time as you watch me suffer in despair.” you swung your arm over your eyes dramatically, feeling the mattress sink, assuming that Renjun had climbed onto the bed once again. “Come on, tell me another one. I promise I won’t laugh,” Renjun raised his pinkie finger with a soft smile. You raised your brow at him with your lips in a frown, causing Renjun to shrug innocently, “too much.”

You inhaled, your mind delving deep into the loving memories you had with Jaemin throughout your life. Your heart clenched at the next story you were bout to tell, the memory making your heart wanting to reach out for his even more. “Well, there was this one time-”

  Ninth grade. Senior year of middle school. The previous day, you danced under the rain as Jaemin watched you from under the bus stop, hiding for shelter as you jumped around the empty cold streets. The fresh smell of rain hitting your nostrils as water made your clothes clung to your skin. Unfortunately for you, the next day you immediately got sick with a fever.

Receiving countless of text messages saying either ‘I told you so’ or ‘lucky bitch, you get to miss our physics test’ from Jaemin. You were shivering under the layers of blankets and hoodies you were wearing, stirring awake every hour due to how cold or thirsty you felt, tossing and turning every now and then. You turned when you heard your bedroom door opening, wondering who it was considering both your parents were busy at work at this hour.

Your eyes widened to see Jaemin, a coat hanging over his arm as he closed the door, and a plastic bag filled with delicious warm soup that you could smell from a mile away. “I can’t believe you left me to suffer all alone in school, I swear you purposely didn’t listen to me because you didn’t want to do that boring test.” Jaemin whined, a pout evident on his lips.

“Nana!” you exclaimed in a giddish tone, making grabby hands at him. Jaemin chuckled as he walked closer to your bed, sitting on the corner of your bed beside you, leaning his back against the headboard. He lays his coat on the chair behind your study desk, putting the plastic bag of food on your lap when you sat up. “Eat up. The sooner you get better, the sooner I can hug you to death for leaving me today.” He jokes.

You smiled, opening the plastic container inside to smell the scrumptious soup inside. “Chicken noodle soup, your favourite.” he spoke in a soft tone, smiling lightly at you. You grinned, grabbing the plastic spoon that came with it. “What? No soda on the side?” you grinned cheekily, earning a soft pinch to your cheek by your best friend. “Don’t you dare make song references in front of me as if you didn’t listen to me bout dancing under the rain yesterday, look where it got you now.” he tuts, shaking his head in a motherly manner.

“Geez, sorry, mom.” you teased, beginning to consuming your soup. “You’re sweating a lot, that’s a good sign.” Jaemin pushed a strand of hair away from your face and tucked it behind your ear, the sudden action causing you to pause from your eating for a brief moment, before shrugging it off. “I’ll probably feel be back to normal in a day or two.” you shrugged, gulping down a spoon full of soup.

“You’re gonna need to change, take your hoodie off.” Jaemin exclaimed, pulling your almost finished soup away from you. You let out a loud, “huh?” in response, your eyes widening at his sudden statement, trying to see if he was joking but no, Jaemin was dead ass serious.

“Take your hoodie off.” Jaemin ordered. “Jaemin!” you exclaimed, pulling your blankets up to your chin, protecting yourself from him. “You’re not gona get any better with wet stinky clothes on you, Y/N.” Jaemin rolled his eyes, walking over to your closet to grab a really baggy shirt of yours, tossing the big fabric over your face. You sat up and pulled the shirt off of your face to see Jaemin strip the white hoodie he was wearing over his body.

Your eyes caught the black shirt he was wearing underneathe had tugged up along with his hoodie, exposing his toned stomach to prove the results of how much time he spent working out at the gym with Jeno recently. 

You squeaked at the action, looking away with a small blush tinting your cheeks. “Jaemin, what are you-” you flushed, taking the risk of looking at Jaemin again with a flustered expression to see your best friend standing in front of you with his white hoodie clutched in his hands. “Change your clothes, you’re gonna get even more sick if you lay there with wet clothes. You ran out of hoodies, use mine, instead.” he spoke sternly.

“Jaemin, I don’t think that that’s really necessary-” you let out a small squeak when Jaemin’s face came close to yours, his hand laying on your forehead and the other laying on his own. “You’re fever’s getting even worse. Change clothes and finish your soup while I get a warm towel ready, Y/n” He spoke, turning to leave your room, shutting the door behind him, unaware of how red your face must’ve been at the sudden contact.

You felt your heart beat increase at the actions that had happen before you, Jaemin’s hoodie resting on your lap, his strong cologne filling your senses, causing you to flush red even more as you tugged your wet sweaty clothes off and changed into the shirt and hoodie Jaemin picked out for you. You bit your lip when you could practically feel his scent engulf your whole being, your face becoming more red.

Did he always smell this nice?

The fresh smell of cinnamon and comfort was the only thing you could say to describe the indescribable scent of your best friend. You felt your heart flutter at the thought of constantly wearing his hoodie, but your thoughts were quickly interrupted when Jaemin came into your room with a bucket filled with warm water and a towel in hand.

“Lay down, y/n” he ordered, sitting on the bed beside you as you sunk down on the bed, pulling your bed sheets up to your nose so he wouldn’t see how red your face is. Jaemin didn’t think much of it when he dipped the water in the warm water, squeezing the water out to leave the towel warm and soaked, laying the warm towel on your forehead.

“You really didn’t have to do this, you know.” you bit your lip, sighing at the contact of his fingertips grazing against your skin as he layed the towel gently on your forehead. “I know, but you’ll probably die here if I don’t,” he chuckles. dipping the towel again once it got cold, squeezing the water out before placing it back on your forehead. “Does that mean you care bout me, Na Jaemin?” you smirked. “That’s quite embarrassing.” you teased.

Jaemin rolled his eyes softly at you, pinching your cheeks before cooping your nose. “There’s nothing embarrassing for a guy to care for his girl.” he commented simply. It felt like an arrow of pure adoration had struck through your heart. Well, that comment backfired. Wait, what does he mean by ‘his girl’?

“I’m your girl?” you spoke after a moment of hesitation, feeling your heart race against your ribcage once again. Jaemin chuckled, flicking your forehead teasingly, “not like that, you cheeseball.” he grinned, booping your nose once again before removing the towel from your forehead.

“Get some sleep, I’ll be right here when you need me. That is, unless your parents kick me out for staying too long.” he giggles, carressing your hair with his calloused fingers. “They’ll never kick you out, you live literally next door, Nana.” you giggled, nuzzling against his touch. Jaemin chuckled, putting the towel into the bucket before leaning in to give you a sweet kiss on your forehead.

Your eyes widened at the sudden act of affection, causing Jaemin to grin shyly. “You just look adorable, right now.” he mumbles under his breath before standing up and walking towards the door. “Go to sleep! I’ll be watching TV if you need me!” Jaemin exclaimed before closing the door with a soft click.

I don’t know bout you, but you knew you couldn’t sleep after his sudden display of affection.

You didn’t even realize tears were slowly streaming down your face until you let out a soft sob, Renjun’s figure coming close to comfort you. You felt Renjun’s arm wrap around your back, his hand coming up to your head to lean it against his shoulder. You sniffled, trying to swallow the sob that’s waiting to erupt from your mouth.

It was like day one all over again, with you crying your eyes out and Renjun comforting you by your side with food and movies. You shut your eyes tight once you felt that familiar burning sensation on your wrist, your heart aching and stinging against your chest. Renjun noticed your pained expression, his hand quickly yet gently coming up to see your left wrist, his eyes widening at the sight. “I’ll get you an ice pack, okay?” Renjun asked worriedly, carressing your soulmate mark as if it would soothe the burning sensation.

You nodded, crying even more as Renjun quickly bolted out your room, his footsteps echoing down the halls. You sniffled, trying to wipe the tears away with your palms, but like an endless waterfall, it never stopped. Nor did the pain in your heart.

Renjun came back with a sympathetic expression plastered on his face, coming up to you and gently placing the frozen packet of peas he found in your freezer on your glowing red tattoo. Renjun softly shushing you and caressing the back of your hair, his own heart aching to see his best friend like this. He couldn’t count the many times you had cried to him bout Jaemin since the dinner with your parents.

The countless amount of times he would press a cold surface onto your left burning wrist.

The countless times you would rant how your heart was begging for Jaemin’s stupid presence.

The countless times he wanted to punch Jaemin for not showing a single ounce of guilt and for how oblivious the younger boy is to how much he had been inflicting your pain.

You fell asleep in Renjun’s hold, the pain on your wrist subsiding into a dull ache, your heart beat in your ears.

Jaemin practically dragged his bag on the floor as he entered the room. His mood decreasing as the seconds go by, his eyes dark with exhaustion and pain. Lately, he hasn’t been focusing properly on the tasks in front of him, his mind was always somewhere else when Coach was discussing strategies for next week’s game.

He was always spacing out to the sound of his own heart beating in his ears, his eyes setting on a certain object in the corner of the room he was in, his body freezing in place as his whole head was in a haze. He’s gotten a countless amount of scolding for spacing out in the middle of practice, the endless amount of times Coach would get a student to hold a volley ball from the storage closet, ready to hit him with whenever he spaces out during practice matches.

Today, he was on his breaking point, he recently failed his History test, then got another scolding from Coach. Hell, he was called to the office in the middle of class, the Coach’s heavy frown never bringing ease to his now tense figure. 

Jaemin collapsed on his bed with a soft thud, trying to keep his breath under control as his Coach’s words echoed in his head, his head buried into the soft fabric of his pillow. He tried to keep his mind from overthinking Coach Kim’s words adding into his stress.

“Na Jaemin, recently, I’ve become aware of how much you’ve been a little... distracted, lately. I’m sorry to say but as Captain of the whole team, you need to be on full focus for the game. If you can’t do that then I’m afraid someone else will.”

Jaemin gripped his pillow tightly, his breathing deepen as he tries to calm himself, his heart beat increasing. He squeezed his eyes tight, the look of disappointment in his team’s expression was all he could think bout for the rest of the day. His heart feeling heavy in his chest.

“I know, I know, this seems too far but, we can’t afford to lose the school winning streak all because of our captain spacing out because of who knows what! I know I sound delirious for saying this, but we can’t risk this.” 

Jaemin remembered the heavy feeling of promising his Coach that he will get his problems sorted out right away so it wouldn’t interfere in the way of winning the game. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if the endless hard work he puts into playing football the past two years went to waste when the position he trained so hard to earn was taken away just like that.

Jaemin sniffled, sitting up as he tries to shake those thoughts away. His eyes blurring slightly at his Coach’s words repeating themselves inside of his head. He stood up, stretching his arms out to release the tension in his muscles, as he tries to delve into a more positive state of mind. His eyes closing in concentration.

‘Don’t think so negatively, Jaemin. You can do this, just stay focused at the task at hand and worry bout this weird pain after the game.’

Jaemin unconsciously walked towards his window, an exhausted groan eliciting from his mouth. ‘You’ve got this !’ he thought with determination, calming his thoughts as a content smile stretched across his face. Jaemin opened his eyes slowly, his bunny smile immediately dissipated into a deep frown, his eyes widen slightly at the sight from the window across his.

You were with Renjun on your bed, doing what looks like cuddling in each other’s warm embrace. You were sitting in between Renjun’s legs, your back facing Jaemin, making him unable to see your expression. Your head was leaning against Renjun’s shoulder, his hand coming up to caress the back of your head. Jaemin’s eyes never left your figure being in such an intimate position with Renjun.

Jaemin felt his own blood boiling, his previously sour mood returning in an instant, his heart beating in his ears as his eyes stared daggers into Renjun’s head. He watched as Renjun’s eyes gaze contently to your figure laying comfortably on his, his fists clenching even more at the sight. That is, until Jaemin snapped out of it with a shake of his head. 

What was wrong with him?

Why was he feeling so angry bout seeing you cuddling with someone like that?

Yet again, when was the last time you cuddled him like that. Jaemin pulled his curtains to cover the sight across him, walking to the bed, running a hand through his hair. before leaning back to lay down on his mattress with his back facing his white sheets.

Jaemin sighed as he got lost in his own thoughts once again. When was the last time he cuddled you? Or held your hand? His head turned to the side, eyes scanning the picture frames he hung up on the walls of his room, stopping at the picture you took on your trip to Busan during winter back in 7th grade.

In the picture, you had Jaemin wrapping his arms around your shoulders in a gentle embrace. Your smile wide and your expression filled with laughter as Jaemin's happy one focused on the camera. Your eyes weren't on the camera, though, they were on him.

Cheeks and noses warm and red from the cold snow, clothes stained with the snow you played with to make snow angels and snowmen, your smile so wide, Jaemin could almost hear your bright laughter from the picture itself. As if he was reliving in that exact moment.

When did you stop smiling like that?

Jaemin realised he never noticed how forced your smiles became, how you use humor to mask every single emotion, how no matter how tired you are, you always manage to joke bout the littlest things to make him crack a smile.

"Why are you sad?" Jaemin asked as he drove you home one day, you glanced up at him with exhaustion glossing over your pupils, showing how pained you were for a split second, before you crack into a loving eye smile.

"I'm not sad, silly. I'm just tired of Mrs. Lee getting up in my ass yelling at my ear as if she was begging for my head to explode and have blood erupting out of my neck like a distorted volcano pms-ing." you joked, causing Jaemin to let out a soft laugh.

"You have the weirdest thoughts, I swear." he shook his head, his eyes glancing at you for a split second before returning to the road. "You're not normal yourself, Nana. We're all clowns in this generation, don't act like its a weird thing." you laughed, smacking his shoulder lightly.

Jaemin raised his brow at you, "me? A clown? You're practically born in a circus." he chuckled. "Says the person who says 'wow' every five seconds for the simplest of things. Post Malone basically wrote that song off of you, you should sue." you giggled, causing him to giggle.

"I am praying to God so that he could add at least add more braincells into that silly head of yours." Jaemin laughed. "God made me to be a clown, I must live on with my purpose, Nana." you added with a wink. "And a simp, too." you giggled.

Jaemin rolled his eyes at the memory, smiling at your terrible attempt at flirting. But his smile turned into a concerned expression once he remembers how pained your eyes looked at the time. As if you were holding pent up frustration, pain and emotion behind the humor.

Since when did you try to hide everything with humor? And when did he start to be one of those people who believed that you were okay behind that bright exterior? He was your soulmate for-

Wait, a second. Your soulmate? Why was he addressing himself like this? So what if he's your soulmate? It doesn't give him the right to barge into your personal problems. You didn't want to do anything with him after that dinner party, so why would he bother to think bout you when you were probably moving on with Renjun?

Jaemin licked his lips bitterly, his brows furrowed in frustration. A hand coming up to rub his face in distress, what was wrong with him these days?

Jaemin's thoughts went to how your body slumped weakly in Renjun's embrace, his eyes glancing down at your figure in a protective manner, his hand caressing your soft hair to soothe and comfort you. Jaemin knew how this would lull you to sleep in an instant, send you in a cuddly haze in people's arms.

Why did he know this?

Because he was the first one to experience it first hand, why should Renjun experience such an endearing moment? Why should Renjun see how vulnerable you are when it comes to-

Jaemin winced as the familiar pain in his chest resurfaced, his wrist aching again. He closed his eyes, 'not this again,' he thought to himself. Jaemin leaned over his drawer, his heart aching heavily against his chest as he opened the drawer to pull out a couple of pain killers

Tags: @lixseu @morks-watermelon @cherrystay @candiednickles @12am-musings @lowkeyviv @btm-taeyong @d-nghyck @gothmingguk @luvlyjaemin @cowward @smileyyuta

Couldn't tag: @/uncovermenow666 @/cakelyn

[stellarboystyles]

Ever Since New York

This is my first fic for the HS1 Masterlist that @bfharry​, @goldenfeelin​ and myself have created...i hope you enjoy <3

2.4k of light fluff and angst

NYC was beautiful this time of year. Glittering holiday lights illuminated the cityscape, blankets of snow cloaking the ground as the two of you walked down the icy sidewalk with your hand enveloped in his. The two of you had just left a holiday party that some of your friends were hosting. Their house was just a few blocks down from Harry’s apartment, so you walked. Which seemed fine, until it was one in the morning and you were fighting against the freezing Brooklyn air just to get home. The thick white blanket encasing the ground below you illuminates your path as you were walking when a burst of wind rushes through your coat, making you shiver. 

“I know, m’sorry bug.” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his warmth. “Almost there.” 

After walking up the stairs to his apartment, Harry fumbled with his key a bit before successfully unlocking the door, the cold air slowing the movements of his fingers. 

“Finally.” he grumbled before pushing the door open. You took off your coat, hanging it up and he followed with the same action. 

Everything about Harry’s Brooklyn apartment was so nostalgic. The smell of spices and vanilla is evident when you walk in from your favorite candle that he was burning earlier, not to mention the color scheme, it was your favorite out of every place that he’s ever had. Different textures and jewel tones filled the space and even though Harry always says that New York is too crazy for him, he can’t argue that you've made some of your best memories here.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” his voice was soft, taking a few steps towards you. Your back was pressed against his chest as strong arms wrapped around your shoulders. He proceeded to kiss the top of your head as you spoke. 

“Remember the last time we were here together?” you couldn’t help but smile, reminiscing of the night when your life changed forever. 

“Can I open my eyes now?”

Harry’s hands are covering your eyes as he’s guiding you down the hallway. 

“Shhh.” he ignores your request, too focused on whatever he has planned. “Okay, there’s steps here, so just step up-there ya go.”

“Where are we going?”

“Fo’ the last time, s’a surprise.” he huffs playfully before reaching around you and it sounded like he was opening a door in front of you.

“I’m scared.”

“Why ya scared fo’? S’just me, love.”

You roll your eyes under his palms but he’s quick to catch you. “Heeeey.” 

“You’re always up to somethin’, and you know I hate surprises-”

“Jus’ hush and keep walkin’, almost there.”

The breezy October air rushed in from outside and soon you felt concrete scuffing underneath your sneakers. You can hear his shaky breath from behind you and the curiosity is too much to bear.

“Okay,” he takes his hands away. “Open your eyes.”

Once your eyes adjusted to the golden light of the sun, the scene in front of you was breathtaking.

You were on the rooftop of Harry’s apartment building. Twinkling fairy lights were strung above your head and you felt like you were dreaming. Your eyes fall to the ground and there’s blankets and pillows and your favorite snacks are scattered on top, and your favorite candle is sat on the ledge burning. Soon after, your ears pick up the music that’s playing. 

“Thought we could watch the sunset...and I got your favorite playlist.”

You felt frozen, but your heart was so warm.

You swiftly turned around to face him, bringing your hands up to his cheeks. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” you question and the genuine smile on his face is more than contagious.

“Y’tryna make me blush?” 

His sheepish comment makes you giggle. “Maybe.”

“Think it’s workin’.” 

The air was leaving his lungs a little too fast but you could tell that he was nervous.

“You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

His eyes slightly widen, but he tries to hide it. as his arms pull you into a bear hug. “M’fine.”

“You are so special.” you murmur after a few moments, pulling back to look at him. 

“Awh stop.” he shies away from your accolade. “Just love you, s’all.”

“I love you too.”

He stood there for a moment before taking her hands and turning around so that he was standing in front of her and gently pulling. “C’mere.”

You feel drawn to him. He pulls you into the middle of the open space. “Wanna dance with me?”

Both of his hands are holding yours and he gives you a cheeky smile before pulling you in. 

“You really shouldn’t have gotten those tattoos on your ankles if you thought you were ever gonna dance again.”

Your comment surprised him and he looks down at his shoes, and you both burst into giggles when he quickly looks back up at you. His face softens at your face, he loves making you happy. 

“Only for you.”

Butterflies flittered inside of your rib cage at his statement. 

You don’t know how long you stayed like that, your head resting against his chest as he held you. Your hands slid underneath his shirt, feeling the muscles of his back beneath your fingertips while slowly moving to the melody of a kodaline song. 

“Have somethin’ fo’ you.” 

Mild confusion crossed your face at his words as he pulled away. “What is it?”

“Jus’...I want you to know somethin’ first.” 

He held your hands in his as he spoke. 

“I want you to know how wonderful you are.” he takes a breath. “When i first saw you I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my whole life, but you...quickly showed me your heart. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, so kind and funny and we’ve grown so much together, and m’bein’ honest...I wouldn’t be who I am right now without you. You showed me how to love again, how to trust again, and m’so grateful.”

Small tears are trying to sneak their way onto your cheeks, and you couldn’t take your eyes away from his, so you didn’t notice him reaching into his pocket right away. He looked unusually nervous, more so with every word, voice wavering just a bit. 

That’s when Harry dropped down onto his knee, and he was holding a ring, and you were already crying. 

“Harry,” you pleaded, voice barely above a whisper and you could hear the punching heartbeat in your ears. 

“I love you with all of my heart. M’so incredibly in love with you.”

Your lungs felt empty, air leaving them too fast to keep up. 

“My love, will you marry me?”

“Yes.” you were breathless, hands moving to cradle his cheeks. “Yes, yes, oh my gosh, yes.”

“Remember it like it was yesterday.” he hummed, reaching around to place a kiss on your cheek, which you leaned into. 

“It was the best night of my life.” you spoke honestly, holding onto his hands as they came over your shoulders. 

“Hope so, don't’ think ‘ve ever been tha’ nervous.”

“You’re hands were shaking so bad, tryin’ to put the ring on my finger.” your giggling earned a scoff from Harry. 

“Heeey, your hands were shakin’ too! And I couldn’t mess up tha’ moment! Knew it was somethin’ we were gonna remember forever.”

“I will.” you turned around in his hold, hands on his cheeks. “You’re the best fiancé in the world.”

“No, you are.” 

“No, you—”

He cut you off before you could start fussing. Soft lips were on yours, the kiss sweet and filled with love. 

Before anything could escalate, the next thing you heard was Harry’s phone buzzing from the inside of his back pocket.

“M’gonna get tha’.” he mumbled against your lips, kissing you one more time before pulling away. “But right after, m’all yours, love.” 

You giggled before turning around, proceeding to take out your earrings as he answered the call. 

“Hi mum.” 

Harry stayed silent, holding the phone up to his ear and intently listening at what she was telling him. 

“No, m’with Y/N.” 

“Is everything alright?” he questioned, now pacing around the bedroom. His next words were hushed into the phone. “D’you want me to come down there?”

You turned around at his words, wondering if it was what you thought it was. 

“Mum, jus’ tell me, please.”

With everything inside of you, you hoped and prayed it wasn’t what you thought it was. 

“Oh, god.” 

His voice instantly flooded with distress, chest rising and falling rapidly. He ran a hand through his hair, tears spilling onto his cheeks. 

“No, no no.”

The repeated silence was deafening. 

“It’s not fair.” he cried, squeezing his eyes closed as he sat on the edge of the bed. The conversation with his mum lasted a few more minutes before he told her loved her, and that he would be there as soon as he could. As soon as he hung up the phone he’d burst into tears again. You sat beside him, placing a hand on the side of his face, encouraging him to lay his head on your shoulder. He struggled to explain through pained sobs what was happening, and his words broke your heart. His stepdad, who raised him since he was seven years old, was fighting a long battle with cancer and everyone has always been hopeful, but his mum had just told him the words he never wanted to hear. 

There was nothing more that they could do. 

His cries were gut wrenching, fingers tightly clutching your shirt as you held him. 

“For fuck’s sake, the wedding.”

You could feel your heart ripping out of your chest as Harry choked out those words. He is like a second dad to you, so when you and Harry got engaged you’d asked him to walk you down the aisle. Your heart couldn’t even begin to think about that right now.

“Need t’go down there, gonna get a plane.”

The bunch of conflicting emotions were causing Harry’s thoughts to be scattered, not that you could blame him, but you were struggling to process everything too. 

“I’m going with you.”

Your voice was soft, not wanting to upset him further. His head hung down, looking at his hands. 

“He’d love t’see you.” 

“I’d love that, too.” you promised, gently stroking his hair. “Whatever you need, I’m here.”

 The two of you didn’t get any sleep that night. He stayed up sitting on the edge of the bed, praying for hours—begging for something, anything. Nothing in life can prepare you for something like this. The hurt, the anger, the confusion.

“Feel like m’just talking t’the wall.” he huffs, roughly running his hands through his hair before choking out another sob.

“There’s a reason your heart tells you things.” He lifts his head to look at you and his cheeks are stained with tears but his eyes still pierce into yours, intently listening. “You may not ever know the reason why your heart tells you what it does, but you always have to listen.”

He dips his head down, staring at his hands as his eyes squeeze shut and the fact that you know there are tears welling up again makes you sick to your stomach. “Jus’ want-” his breath jerks as another sob comes out of his chest. “Want it t’be a dream.” and you wanted that too. Hell, you wanted to say something, anything to make feel better...but was there really anything you could say? No. Harry wasn’t stupid, he knew all too well that this could always be a possibility, but he was always filled with hope. This is his dad. Of course he’s going to have all the hope in the universe.

“Never thought this would ever happen, y’know? Thought that it would work this time.”

“Maybe he can get another doctor.” he’s already shaking his head. “There has to be something-”

“Fuck’s sake.” he interrupts, pushing himself off the bed and storming across the room and into the hallway and your gaze dropped to the floor. Letting Harry cool off was the best thing to do when he was angry, and when the sound of what you assumed was his fist punching drywall broke the tense silence, you didn’t flinch. 

Then you heard it again...and again, and again, followed by a strangled cry and that’s when you stepped in, jogging down the hallway calling Harry’s name. 

“Harry,” you gripped his other bicep, trying to pull him away and as soon as he felt your touch, he broke down. His forehead pressed against the wall with his eyes squeezed shut and his fists still clenched above his head. He turns around, back against the wall, sliding down to the floor and his resolve slowly crumbles when you knelt down and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. His head fell onto your shoulder as you held him. 

“I’m right here, I’ve got you.”

He’s shaking in your arms and the two of you are crumpled on the floor. He slowly calms down with your touch, but he’s still choking out sobs. Your hands cover his knuckles, kissing the blood stained skin.

“Shhh, I’ve got you.”

Your hands were weaved through his locks, being caressed through his hair as you held him until his breathing had calmed along with the beat of his heart, but you never wanted to let go of him.

“I wish I could make it all better.” you murmur between soft kisses to his cheeks. “I’d take all your pain away.”

“Know y’would.” he leans into the palm that’s cradling his cheek before catching a glimpse of your sleepy eyes starting to fall closed.

“Y’should get some sleep.” he rasps, head on your chest. “Don’t want y’to be exhausted tomorrow.” Despite everything he was going through right now, he was still thinking of you. 

“We can sleep on the plane.”

He nodded, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. 

It took a lot for Harry to look tired. It’d been hours of crying, sobbing, and you both needed rest. 

“I can lay with you if you want?”

“Would love that.” he wanted to smile, you could tell. But he just didn’t have it in him tonight. 

“I’ll be right back.” you whispered, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. 

You clung to each other as soon as you were under the covers. You protectively put your arms around him, running your hands through his hair and his eyes never left your face.

“I’m not gonna ask you if you’re alright, because I know you’re not.” one of your hands came down to his face, thumb brushing across his cheek.

“I’ll always be here for you, whatever you need.” you took a deep breath, brushing the hair away from his face. “Always.”

“Will y’hold me, please?” his voice was raspy, his tone sweet and sad.

“C’mere.”

Emotions were so fresh and raw right now, but all you could do was be there for him. With every fiber of your being you wanted to take his pain away, kiss it better...anything. But right now, all you could do was love him. And for Harry, that was more than enough. 

[gracefull-mess]

I am with you 100% on walking away. Sure, the spoilers aren't great and I was planning on waiting until after 10c to see what people thought... but the whole MM/NR/(TWD/Ride) thing is truly really, really getting to me now. As you said. I just feel uncomfortable with all of it... and has put some weird reflections looking back on some things now. so. Yeah. Don't let anyone shame you about your choices and YOUR conscience.

(Excuse the late reply. I no longer have notifications for tumblr turned on)

Let me start this rant by saying thanks for the nice words and support.

First thing I want to talk about is the Spoilers. I have no problem with the TWD spoilers at all. It never bothered me because I viewed them as a plot device. They honestly didn’t sway me in the slightest and they have no connection to my leaving the TWD Fandom.

Norman Reedus’s connection to Marilyn Manson does make me uncomfortable. They are good friends, anyone on Instagram knows that. They have spent a great deal of time together and not just while filming Ride.

Then there’s the fact that TWD has had this man attend their premiers, appear on the talking dead and we have Greg Nicotero, who was gearing up to have Marilyn Mason appear on his production ‘creep show’.

All of this shows me that Walking Dead was completely fine with having Marilyn Manson as apart of their world,... until Rachel Evan Wood’s publicly named Manson as her abuser.

This was when TWD distanced themselves from Manson, this was when Nicotero dropped mason from creepshow and this was when Reedus decided to start deleting posts from his Instagram. 

They didn’t hesitate. They didn’t even consider standing beside him, they just got out of the line of fire. It sounds odd to say, but if they'd had Manson’s back, I would have felt better. I would have thought “hey, these guys really believe that Manson is innocent...that explains why they kept this piece of shit around”... But that’s not what happened. It was more like, this guy is about to be exposed and we need to distance ourselves from him now. (This is my perception anyway)

It was no secret that Marilyn Manson was ERW’s abuser and now more women are coming forward. Now more people in the industry are saying that it is a well known fact that Manson is an abuser, rapist and predator. 

ERW’s herself has talked about how Manson has been protected by the industry and how his actions have been ignored and overlooked. And I can’t help but feel like TWD has been apart of that. (As I have said in the past, this is my perception and I do not expect anyone to turn on anyone or anything. I am not trying to start an argument or debate. This is just how I feel.)

I only recently found out that on top of everything else (though apparently it was common knowledge) that Manson has swastika’s tattooed on him and that he collects Nazi memorabilia..... the list of disturbing information just goes on and on....And it makes me wonder why all of this was ignored. Why he was being asked to be on episodes of Ride, why Norman was appearing in his music videos, why he was on the talking dead or why he was going to be on Creep Show. 

The fan-girl in me wants to brush it all aside. It would be easy to overlook everything, just as I have been doing since Manson somehow became entangled in the TWD Fandom. But I can’t anymore.

I’m not delusional enough to think I know Norman Reedus. You can watch all the interviews you want, go to meet and greets, and watch every scrap of footage that you can get your hands on, and as a fan, you still need to accept the fact that you do not know him. You don’t really know any of these famous people. What you do know is the persona they have created for the public eye. 

If you decide to believe everything they put forward then that’s fine, it has nothing to do with me or anyone else what you are comfortable with.

Lastly, I am disgusted with certain members of the fandom and their reaction to this news. I have seen people saying the most disgusting things about these women. I have seen, not only Reedus stans, but members of my own ship calling these women horrible names, twisting their words, blaming them for being abused and shaming them for the time it has taken to come forward. I mean, fuck!  here we are, a bunch of people who support an actor, that was made famous by his portrayal of an abuse victim...but when someone in reality speaks out about their abuse, we throw them to the wolves??? 

I don’t understand why people need to shame, condemn or attack these women, all because it affects a fandom, a ship, or an actor they stan, but I don’t want to be associated with it in the slightest. I also can’t ignore it,...yet, I also know there is no point arguing with them..so there isn’t much left for me to do but leave.

I am sad to go. I love the majority of the people I have met in this fandom and on this ship. But this whole thing had the exit sign flashing for me.