#no i do gaf thats a lie.

[bedforddanes75]

i cant believe george daniel vapes man you're too cool for this

[kavehater]

I’m so weirdly tired but I literally (practically) didn’t study for that test at all and I don’t even care that much I’m in such an odd crying mood rn and idk why 😞

[pigeonxp]

I jjust saw a post of a former big buddie blog who turned pro BT, but now turned back to buddie 🙄 and they're all "oh it's so embarrassing to see notifs from people reblogging my pro bt posts haha oops"

And that just pisses me off. These people wrote pro BT posts about buck dating a known racist misogynist obviously plot device character, they didn't gaf about ditching eddie or buddie, they used their popularity to spread BT fanon to a wide audience and maybe even mocked and vilified buddie fandom, they probably also wrote popular pro BT fic

And now they can just be like "teehee i changed my mind that's all in the past now" and come back to buddie fandom like nothing happened???

Pisses me off. I hope some people have kept a list of buddies turned bts and don't refollow or interact with them. They can go make their own fandom, where eddie is just buck's LI who's apparently interchangeable with any dude who kisses buck 😑🙄

no fr i also be getting so upset when my fav buddie fic writers write a bunch of bt fics and switch it up back to buddie eventually like 😐 and like im not gonna lie and say i dont care that ppl r switching up and jumping ship after being die hard buddies (bc i do think its fucking weird!!!) but it wouldnt bother me as much if the majority of the ppl who switched to bt werent actively hostile to the buddie community yk? like thats so weird to me bc u literally used to be one of us and now ur calling us delusional?? idk its just weird weird behavior.

[devine-fem]

I wanna hear you talk about JonJay. I just need to hear someone else’s dislike for it from someone that also actually reads comics and I’ve noticed you had JonJay DNI in ur bio.

WHEW. Listen disclaimer: If you like Jonjay. Do not read this. Also, do not interact with me because if you like Jonjay, you will not like me.

My issue is that I kind of like Jay’s fight against colonization but that is it. THAT IS IT. My problem is that it came about in such an awful way… like it’s like Representation 101 that you don’t do what Tom Taylor did with Jonjay… he created a character for another character to be queer and not only that made the characters boring…

The thing about Jonjay shippers is that a lot of the time the shippers enjoy the racist/bad writing version of Damian… they always weirdly speak like they hate Damian… Also, people who are an apologist for older!Jon… HAVE TO BE ILLITERATE… like there’s no way…

My friend was telling me that they’ve never met a Jonjay shipper who had good takes and good taste in media… it just doesn’t exist… and how hostile they are with young jon and damijon in general… I’m not going to lie… hating damijon and liking jonjay never made mathmatical sense to me… even if its not damijon… I’d prefer ANYTHING over jonjay… I trust that any other ship has plenty more substance… and no, it just… jay’s character exists to put down Jon’s… as long as Jay exists… Jon will never be able to grow and shine… read SSOKE and take a second to realize that the focus there is Jay and not Jon!! THAT IS WHY SSOKE IS SO BORING! like jonjay shippers only really care about jay anyway which makes no sense ???! thank you for telling me to rant because i dont get those people at all

AND PEOPLE WHO SHIP JONJAY AND HATE JON? it just makes no sense like wtf?? i guess it kinda makes sense because theres no way you like jonjay and actually gaf about jons character… you probably just like gay superman and thats it like… tom taylor hates good romance… its like dickbabs hurting babs… jonjay hurts jon…

im rambling but yeah, i hate jonjay… its the only ship i hate besides like obviously incest ships or tim x anyone LMAO but like its not about getting in the way of my ship, its about being a bad ship that is associated with the character assassination of my favorite character… i guess i kind of think of it the same way roy fans think of jayroy but also i like daminika (or my idea of daminika) so like its really not about “getting in the way of my ship” i really could care less… ships are fanon

dude. dude. listen. i saw a jonjay shipper say that damijon has no chemistry because they barely have chemistry as friends… talking about chemistry and bring a jonjay shipper is crazy? CHEMISTRY SALES BABE? adventures of jon kent couldn’t break 6 issues and you wanna talk about chemistry? the proof is in the pudding… the people dont like mid. dude. listen. jonjay shippers are just idiots… they have to be 😭 your brain cant be braining in order to like that bro. they be like “i love you 😐” LMAO LIKE JUST NO EMOTION LIKE WHO CAN ENJOY THAT. thank you jonjay for reminding us youre dating because honestly we could NOT tell. cant wait for you to disappear all year then reappear during june 😭

[wiihtigo]

CASEY NATION RISE 7, 9, 17, 20, 23, 25

ask game

7. What’s one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

i used to think that she didnt care much about the art of actually acting and cinema and stuff and for her it was more about just being famous and it didnt matter how. i think that was partially because although i knew i wanted her to lust for fame and money the acting dream was kind of just randomly decided on. i thought i could easily swap it out with modelling or singing or something and it wouldnt make much difference. but the more time ive spent with casey, the more i see her as a true lover of movies and art....which i think leads in well to her endgame job being a script editor rather than an actor. her true talents lie behind the screen even if she herself doesnt see it...

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

whats a girl to do - cristina

a post canon (after nell dies) caseys life anthem:)

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

well i was going to blame it entirely on you that nell dies and i had no say in that but i suppose i did come up with her emotional reaction to that myself, which causes me a lot of slow damage pain. SO I GUESS THAT..the fact she pushes michelle away after it happens is really depressing to me because thats literally her only friend left and only possible pillar of support, but she pushes her away because she hates everything and shes mad shes not nell and shes mad at her family and wants to explode. I think she'd be marginally less suicidal if she stayed friends with her.....

I guess also pulling from alternate realities the one where she dies is pretty fucked up. and very painful. and nell doesnt even make it to her to cradle her in her arms. SAD

20. Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

yyessss. at least when he and nell start getting lowkey. no. highkey #serious. early in their setup he wouldnt gaf if nell was married to a businesswoman in russia.but when they start ummmm [redacted] then hes like waittt. lol waittttttt lol wait. lol. WAITTT. gets a little annoyed when theyre at the doom patrol warehouse party and jayna from the wonder twins tries to get ladybugs number. THATS MY BODYGUARD..GET YOUR OWN. it manifests in that he'll get clingy to nell and mean and passive aggressive (or just aggressive) towards the person pissing him off. will be petty and spiteful (sees some poor scared nervous young lesbian trying to say hi to nell so he slides in and nuzzles up to her shoulder in public to let that sstupid kid know to go away)

idk why he does this. if you asked him if he liked nell he would say And what has she done to MAKE me like her

23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

lol GRIEF. little casey has never experienced a death before nell! not even a pet death. she has no idea how to process those feelings or cope with them in the slightest. she goes like catatonic immediately after the fact bcuz shes so completely shocked and wasnt prepared for it at all (lowkey thought ladybug was too awesomeand strong to ever get got. stupidd)

on the complete flip side, also .....l-l-l-l-l-l-l--l-l-l-l-l-l...LOVE. or at least feeling a smidge of serious romantic attraction to someone. in canon end she never gets to deal with that bcuz she only realizes it after nell died and then promptly buried everything related to nell deep inside a hole. but in nyc nell simply has an epic near death experience where hes hospitalized and thats when casey is like fuuuuuuuuuck that scared me. DO I LIKE HER? she acts a bit pathetic and tsundere abt it which is endearing to me personally. maybe scares nell a bit. its cute to me though <3

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

shes not a good person </3 shes selfish and mean and doesnt care about other people </3 bent on revenge and hating </3 genuinely not a good guy </3 i love everything negative about casey the most

i also think secretary characters are sexy.

[thesungod]

their theme is so inconsistent like at the beginning it feels clear, being who you are and accepting each other’s darkness, but the way its done is 😬 and then it switches up to being literally budget toa saying “well everything can change yk??? don’t stay in the darkness” but in a horrible fashion and they’re acting like this is what they’ve been trying to tell me in the past 400 pages when it ISNT dont LIE to ME

i don’t think EITHER of them was reading the book as they write they were just mashing words together bc im watching a book promo for it rn and rick’s saying that will likes nico bc he likes nicos ““darkness”” and how intrigues him and mark’s saying neither of nico or will wants to change that core part of the other. which explains away him in BOO trying to tell nico that nobody disliked him—being that will was projecting his own feelings about nico onto others—and also relates will to apollo even more with their need to reach out to outcasts and love them. but then they didn’t write that they literally wrote that will doesn’t like it and he wants to fix it. thats my STEP SON and they did that to him.

rick did not want to write this book at all, and mark probably projected their nico stanisms onto the other characters without justifying the stanisms. you can really tell when rick has a passion for writing something and when he could not care less. the subtle toa promo in one of the gorgyra scenes and apollo’s updated glossary—he wants you to read toa so bad he could not gaf about this book. and yet apollo is never mentioned positively like give him back to me.

speaking of mark i think this is just a consistent issue they have when writing. i read reviews of one of their books (anger is a gift) and some were very negative about the way the narrative made the protagonist the most righteous person ever and completely revolved around them. ifl that issue bleeds into this book as well.

i saw people (including the writers) say this book is darker than a lot of rick’s other books and i really need them to shut the fuck up; THO literally had kids tied up in crucifixes to be burned at the stake 😭

ok sorry for the ramble i see the letters tsats together and i go on a rampage

you absolutely ate this up!!

also laughing at you calling it “budget toa” because that’s exactly what i said to a friend about this book once. i felt almost offended over the authors trying to fit the “everyone can change!!” narrative last minute and make Nico the symbol of re-invention after five whole books of ToA. i was very “how dare you stand where he stood” about it which is childish but alas.

i’ve also mentioned several times how will and nico’s conflict in the book was not intriguing to read about because it was inconsistent. not to mention that according to the timeline they’ve been together for a year!!! an entire year!!! and the book still has Will acting #shocked that Nico, idk, likes darkness.

the Mary-Suing of Nico literally the worst thing to ever happen to me. i’m usually all for my faves winning, but that’s after they’ve been through the mortifying ordeal of losing, yk. and i get that Nico has been through a lot but the book was basically a 400-pages-long ass kissing and i couldn’t do it.

i couldn’t even feel particularly moved or vindicated by Bob pledging loyalty to him in the end because it wasn’t cathartic at all. i was like we get it dude lol

same with his “friendship” with Piper tbh. not everyone needs to like Nico😭 i would have totally loved it if the book had shown a friendship progress organically through their grief for Jason or common interests (even if just briefly narrated through a recollection!! i’m not saying we needed chapters of flashbacks or Piper as a third main), but Nico does not mention her once ever. they didn’t even like each other in HoO!! then at the end of the book he calls her and he is all like “of course she wouldn’t be angry at me for not calling after Jason died <3 she understands that grief is complicated <3”

my king Piper isn’t angry at you for not calling because she dgaf about you. why would she. who are you to her

another thing I’ll never get over re: Nico and Will’s relationship is how, per the book, Nico encouraged Will to come out and was the first one of the two to do so, when every. single. thing written about them in the Hidden Oracle suggests the opposite.

why the fuck is Nico so reticent and embarrassed about admitting to be Will’s boyfriend in the first book of ToA if it’s Nico who came out first? IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMP might I add?

because i get that coming out to someone doesn’t necessarily mean being comfortable coming out to everyone, but Nico announced his crush IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMP. and asked Will out. and Will wasn’t out at the time. so whyyyy is their dynamic on THO literally the opposite of this? with Will pushing Nico to be more open about their relationship while Nico plays coy? because Apollo is Will’s father? idk, maybe i guess😭

but it’s pretty obvious the change in the dynamic was established later on and that the impression we were supposed to have while reading THO is that Will was the one more comfortable and in tune with his sexuality. like, come on.

[theropoda]

No one cares but ive always thought of the postal 1 ending (the orignal) to be about what happens when your reality is shattered and shaken. theres a lot of ways to interpret what happens there but to me it feels a bit more metaphorical. under cut cuz this got kinda long Also Feel Free 2 Share Ur Thots As Always

he shows up to a school and decides to do his final task but as we know it doesnt....quite happen. he's shooting every weapon he fucking has at his disposal but those children are fine. they're fine and just unaffected....the disconnect between your actions and what you believe youre doing and what actually happens and what actually is...that's the biggest takeaway from me/what stands out the most tbh. all this time on this journey he's held this strong belief of everyone and everything out to get him but now he's faced with the complete opposite imagery which is children frolicking not giving two shits abt him. they dont gaf!!!!!!!!! he's convinced he's living in a world gone mad but these kids are FINE they dont seem perturbed at all... and it all just sinks in that yeah everything is fine. there were no lunatics there were no madmen Out 2 Get Him ...... the only thing thats gone mad is him

ive seen some people put more focus on the the guilt and horror of what p1's done and realizing HES the monster and stuff which is obviously a big part of it but i guess my takeaway and the taste left in my mouth has always been how quickly your world can just be turned upside down.....how everything you believe in can turn out to be just a lie.....realizing you were wrong...thats horrifying

i feel really ill today so maybe im not being super coherent. maybe i iwill cohere more later. postal 1 has been on me mind a lot recently so its def not the last ull be hearing of it and its ending and so on. why he went postal is a big convo in & of itself innit id love to talk about that

[1800duckhotline]

honestly i would say yeah any fandom art that interprets the characters differently tends do not do as good, unless its like, yassifying them ykwim. otherwise when people dont branch out ime ive noticed it tends to go fandom art > original art > fandom oc art, and ive always wondered if thats bc when it comes to fandom ocs (especially in things with chooseable protagonists) people get territorial about their own/dont want to see the characters shipped with other fandom ocs lol. at least thats what ive observed of a lot of biowareheads

YEAH YEAH... i totally get what yr talking about bc ive seen it too very often! like i wont lie i also get a little bit territorial like that i guess, for lack of better word but i like. generally have a policy of "if i dont seek out what upsets me then i wont be upset" but ALSO to be 100% honest this kind of thing was more prevalent for me when i was a lil younger. now i dont really gaf about it. so in the case of bg3 specifically ive never rly felt that way since the game is literally "insert ur blorbo here and kiss your fave splinko companion". like itd be useless for me to get upset at people for drawing their tav/durges kissing my faves, because its just what the game is like LMAOOO

its really an interesting thing i guess, because since i also work at a snails pace art wise lately (unfortunately my hand aint like it used to be. and also ive just been working a lot) a lot of fandom-related art is stuck in the wip basement until i get the spark again and i think its funny bc im probably giving some kind of whiplash to ppl who follow me for My OCs specifically. even though theyre always the stars <3 if i can insert my stupid counts into a piece of media i like. I will Do It

[stfuhair]

Mike saying ''We are friends!!'' disturbed me too. Because if you look at it while thinking Mike is 100% straight and has no feelings for Will whatsover, that line comes off as Mike saying friends arent that important to send letters because they are not the same as your girlfriend, which portrays Mike as a shit friend honestly. Wdym you are friends and that is why you didnt send any letter or didnt call properly...?

EXACTLYYY THANK U ANON, LIKE, Will calls him out on his bullshit, and he says "we are friends" like that justifies it, you know? like imagine YOU say in other words: "u didnt call, you just called her, you only worry about her, why didnt you called me too, why didnt you worry abt me too" and someone spits back in your face: "because we're friends!" .

like, we talk about the romantic meaning the "we're friends" has on mikes end, that he is convincing himself of if. but we dont talk about the utterly TERRIFYING meaning it probably had on wills end

"hes my childhood best friend, i dont really remember my life without him because i've known him for so long, i may be completely head over hills for him, and now im demoted to be ONLY his friend, not best friend no more, and thats why he doesnt gaf abt me anymore, now... WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?"

and like props to him for believing in mike bc if that happened with my insecure ass i would lie straight up saying it was ok then head to therapy bc wow... and to think that this isnt even 1% of all the shit Will has been through

[selfundiagnosed]

Insane that my mom ran the most popular patrick stump archival blog on tumblr + was a full time lawyer + was raising two mentally ill kids + doing culinary arts school + having a cookie business. I think its her autism i wont lie. But now its all catching up to her and she has no energy which would be the ehlers danlos fault this time.. tried to convince her to steal her old url back but on cohost so she made an account but couldnt immediately make side blogs but boy oh boy. she would be giving the fall out boy fandom what they want and more. Shes like i cant do it again i have no idea how i did it before im like ma! its called having boundaries. Shes like i cant do that when i have a special interest its called autism. Im like right but queue posts for once a day and find 30 pictures from a photo set and boom one months worth of posting fall out boy and you can conserve your energy. But she doesnt know how to do her special interests in moderation. Im honestly just glad she went and accepted a bunch of access to her mega archive folder thingy. But shes so mad she doesnt have access to like her actual archive bc the website she used go archive everything changed their subscription plans and she has so many photos it would be like a zillion dollars she doesnt have 😭 like bogus i remember photo storing websites were so free. Take me back to 2010 for real :T Anyway she used to get so mortified when i told my friends as a teen about her blog i actually told her coworker once and her coworker somehow RETAINED the url and went home and looked at her blog and she was so upset at me 😭😭 but now like she kinda doesnt give a fuck anymore bc fall out boy was her special interest for an entire decade and she’s over it. Obviously still a big big fan but not in bandom anymore. Her new special interest is a band i introduced her to when i was 13 and its kinda cringe so i dont talk about it but she also ran an archival blog for THIS band and i told my friend at a sleepover who liked this band about her blog and they fucking FOLLOWED HER and shit bricks and my mom was MORTIFIED. But anyway yeah she doesnt gaf now if i tell people she was this blog and i even posted a tiktok about it once and people started doing detective work that would make her autistic self so proud…. Bc thats what she was good at! sleuthing stalking detective work on the band. Pete wentz privately answered several of her asks on tumblr i’ll see if she can send me the asks and their responses. But yeah she doesnt care anymore. her original url was scrubbed by tumblr and shes very angry about it bc it was an original bandom url for patrick stump so shes like wtf ever i dont wanna touch this im so mad. Which SAAAAME. ive done that so many times. She started permitting access to people who requested it for one of her photo archive website thingies she left in her last post. But yeaaaahhh… she was patrick stump for halloween in like 2008 and she won the costume contest bc she had rhe coolest sideburns and looked so much like him. My first ever concert was a fall out boy concert in spring 2007 i was 6 turning 7 within the next few months lemme just say the music video for carpel tunnel of love played on the screen as they played the song and my brother and i was so traumatized. But then immediately they played this aint a scene after that and we were like HELL YEAAAAAAAAA. And my brother (5 at the time) and i knew every single song and sang along and my mom went look at everyone else no one else knows these songs. You guys are so cool. And we looked around and yeah no one was singing the songs and were sooo excited! Oh and theres that one time she recorded us singing keep it simple by cobra starship and THEY PUT IT ON THEIR MYSPACE PAGE AT THE TOP WE FLIPPED SHIT. i wish THAT video was still up. Shes also met fall out boy so many times and walked away from patrick stump while he was talking to her bc she didnt want to take up his time at a meet and greet. Omg. so many memories. I was literally raised in online bandom thats so insane. Maybe thats why im a homosexual

[metfell]

13, 20,21

also for the ctubbo revengers Ctechno MichaelB thing it’s like. A. Feels kinda weird to be like oh since they’re the same species they’re like great friends or whatever. Ctechno does not gaf abt that kid outside of cranboo. B. Feels like an extension of Ctechno Cares For And Perfectly Supports Character trope. C you can kinda work cTubbo’s later character actions into canon (violence isn’t too OOC for him, he did threaten cranboo with an axe for security reasons after compromising his security for trauma reasons) of like: he doesn’t feel safe back at Snowchester bc if Sam could come in and do all this it didn’t serve its purpose so the next best place is with the resident Guys Who Nobody Fucks With And Survives

honestly i agree with C a lot. tbh i agree w ur take lol, the hc's just not rlly for me

okay onto these:

13: worst blorboficiation okay this ones vague im assuming like. character who got blorbo'd so hard theyre barely the og character??? i wont lie i think its me with cranboo i make him soooo much nicer than he is in canon. maybe the way people blorbo and woobify characters like schlatt???

20: part of canon you found tedious or boring the giant dip in content before the prison break. it was like dude... can we get ON with it already?????? we couldve had burger arc dudeeee -_-

21: part of canon you think is overhyped erm. honestly i really enjoy and find merit in like 98% of dsmp's plotline so i'm having a hard time finding a section i think is overhyped. because no late-game stuff was overhyped, we all got burned by the cc's by then. honestly? probably the really early days of dsmp. i think people are just really nostalgic for it.

then again i live in a bubble where all of my mutuals are cool and right about everything so i dont really see much thats overhyped.

[gayspock]

and likeeee -_-

sorry this is just my in general fucking rant. is anyone sick ever of just being branded a fucking edgelord and called stupid and being encouraged to dispel all shitty thoughts ever. is anyone. i dont know. sorry this was about media but my sour fucking mood as of late. whatever. i think its always one of those things where its like one of the many hot air bullshit sayings is like. be yourself! :) TELL everyone how you feel! but Yourself and how you express and say things is ironically never right or correct so now you feel fucking rotted tenfold. i mean that. on like a genuine level.

cuz idk on a genuine fucking level every time ive ever tried to talk to someone about any of this ive just felt incredibly fucking patronised and unheard and unlistened to . and it makes me want to rip somkeones throat out. and on a serious level, i would be fine to engage in an actual conversation or listen to someone talk it through in a genuine fucking way. but like look i know i cant actually ask that to happen. its not fucking fair to anyone either . but also the Not asking that always just feels so much more fucking upsetting and fucking frustrating and in the end it never feels like anything other than an exercise in trying to just get away cuz it helps no one and nothing. ironically one of the things about it all. nothing helps nothing gets you forward but in sayinjg that i know people will never think of me as anyhting other than a fucking shit idiot fucking loser who gives up and doesnt care and doesnt listen when so so fucking ironically thats the exact disrespect and lack of fucking care that im talking about . and its ironic further cuz they'll insist they gaf. like do you. i feel like people only give a fuck if youre a version of a person that they can help and like and i dont think im ever going to be that for fucking anyone . i can try to pretend i am but it just makes me feel like dogshit and feel so fucking alone because thats not real at all no ones ever going to fucking like You as a person. or even more or whatever.

like how do i fucking say this. you bring this onyourself. youre negative. so like sorry but what if right. like what if im fucking right and im not a fucking idiot just this once and everything has genuinely fucking sucked and ive not got anything to fucking live for. and i am alone. etc. etc. like be serious. walk with me. so now how do you fucking think it feels to be called a fucking idiot for being consistently called some fucking idiot drama queen for it constantly. sorry. im trying not to be a self pitying fucker all the time but its like when i say i genuinelyfucking havent found anything to have gone fucking right i mean it . when i say i cant take it i fucking mean it. when i say im stupid and im unhappy and im alone if ucking mean it and trying to lie about it does not make it fucking okay it just makes me so so fucking much more upset. why do i have to fucking try and fake some fucking bright side to any of it when it doesnt fucking exist . to make YOU feel better about it. fucking fantastic. excellent . i fucking hate everything bro i wish it fucking mattered i wish it fucking mattered goddddd i wish there was a way out i fucking christtttttttttttt but people dont want to even look at you i think thats the thing like its like i think its because they know deep fucking down there is not an actual fucking thing they can say to me. because i am right this once maybe this fucking once but they cant agree and tell me to kill myself. which is fucking fine just dont fucking pretend like theres anything anyone can do to help like im a damn lost cause god bless s

something something does anyone feel like theyre in a car on the edge of the fucking cliff and you cant back it up and every time you fucking do its just teetering you closer to fucking killing yourself . is that the best way to describe it. theres no way out of it or whatever. i think i need to end something or someone . lalalala. i dont mean that. who said that

[sennaverstappendiary]

bahrain grand prix ✩ 02.03.2024

here we are. the 2024 season is officially starting‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥 and so is my first ever full f1 season 🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘 i mean tbf i did follow f1 already at the first 2 races in 23 but still!!! i didn't watch them!!! and now i will!!! oh my god!!!

so, my goal for this year is to be less stressed, bc honestly, it was really getting to me 💔💔💔 and i don't want to rely on a dutch guy winning in a sport for all of my happiness... i would like to enjoy the sport more, even if max doesn't win (which... will happen eventually. i am writing this before the race idek if he wins this one!! he might not!!) ‼️‼️‼️🥰🥰🥰 so: enjoy the SPORT more, which is important i think 💘💘💘✨✨🌷🌷🌷 we will see how it goes!! but this was a very important life lesson for me: i will still love max, even if he loses. him losing doesn't make me love him any less 🥺🥺🥺🥺

free practice. as usual i didn't WATCH, but i did keep up with it of course. its always scary when max doesnt do well, but its just practice and its fun seeing who does well surprisingly!! the merc all of the sudden look super strong, which was a real surprise‼️‼️‼️‼️ also daniel p1 in fp1 yeah okay sure 😭😭😭 who gaf. but it did make me realise the above, so thats good!!

qualifying. oh my god qualifying the season is REALLY starting again oh my god 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i was watching at my grandparents again!!! friday quali is crazy!!! i cannot lie. my ass was sure max wasnt gonna get pole 💀💀💀💀 so it was a real surprise that he did!!! to be fair even he sounded surprised AHAHA 😭😭😭😭😭😁😁😁 "ha ha sorry gp!!" 😭😭😭😭 the silly!!! f1 is so back!!! charles q2 lap was really good too, thank you oscar for the tow bc 💀💀💀💀 they were also soooo silly after the quali!!! lestappen yapping how i have missed u!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

RACE DAAAYYYY!!!‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🙏 first one of the season, oh my god. i literally woke up with my body feeling like it was being chased down by a fucking lion like. it was so serious 😭😭😭💥💥💥💥☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️ BUT!! the sun was shining for like. the first time ever in the netherlands, and life was good, and my dad convinced me to play some f1 23 with him beforehand which was a lot of fun :-) ALSO!!! f1 fantasy is soooo fun omg 🥰🥰🥰✨😁😁😁💘💘💘🥰🥰🥰 this will be relevant in a second. so. its 3:45 pm. i feel like im literally dying. my dads sitting next to me. FUCKING ALAIN PROST JUMPSCARE 💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️ but ok. formation lap. i literally cant speak im that fucking scared. my mouth is dry. i see the lights. i literally cant move. 🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅 ok. light 1. light 2. light 3. light 4. light 5. i feel like im dying. MAX HAS A GOOD START OH MY FUCKING GOD 🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🙏🙏🙏🙏 my dad mad as fuck bc he has nico in his fantasy team 💀💀💀 he puts a hand on my shoulder and is like "are u shaking" and i look at him like. yea. i always am during the first few laps 😭😭😭😭 anyway lewis making no impression + charles disasterclass like yea it was bad for us. checo actually kinda got that dawg in him rn 👀👀👀 and so does carlos!!! ik im a lestappie but i can also be a carlos enjoyer. fun fact. i am. I LOVE VERSAINZ 💕💕💕💌💌💌 ok tangent. YEAH THE RACE WAS COOL I TURNED TO MY DAD AND SAID "i hope hes going for the grand slam 😁😁😁😁😁" ooohhh maaaaxxxx maxy maaax max max max max 🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰‼️‼️‼️‼️ i love him so much im fully losing my mind. HE LOOKED SOOO FUCKING GOOD ON THE PODIUM TOO IM BITING HIM RN. KITCHEN. BAREFOOT. PREGNANT. NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ yeah no i rlly did enjoy this race SO much im so so glad f1 is back 🥺🥺🥺🥺 a shame about fernando being a lil flop in that flop car BUT this was the first opening race without any dnfs!!! how fucking cool is that!!! i think its cool!!! 💕💕💕😁😁😁✨✨✨ SEE YALL NEXT WEEK AT JEDDAHHHH 🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

✩ song of the race: the weekend - michael gray

I CANNOT WAAAIT FOR THE WEEKEND TO BEGIN DURING RACE WEEK LIKE IM LISTENING TO THIS SHIT ON LOOOPPP💥✨✨💕💕😁😁

✩ photodump:

[maurenislife]

Theres only so much self hate i can acquire

Or guilt like im still processing alot of other shit that will have to get added 2 the queue

Also idc that he found this page or even if he go share it or laugh or screenshot or whatever he may do cause honestly thats my fault for ever thinking like i was so comfortable im like omg somebody trying to get me nahh its a tactic and love make u see beyond game but a man game is on regardless its all a game

Everybody says weird shit that u truly feel like u just like the idea of me

Projection

You just want me for my energy and space

Projection

Everything projectile cause in stats in statistics That could b labeled as false

If my sugar daddy said u are using me etc. he would be 100% correct cause if we check stats along with situation it adds up completely

When a man my age starts playing that game

Subconsciously but a game

I just have to sit and ponder

Cause only thing they used was time and maybe they had to feel pathetic for loving but love is quite pathetic cause it DOESNT exist among relationships with somebody who you are not kin too,

Cheat steal use and the good times make up for all the bullshit thats a relationship

Most relationships pple lie and cry alot

Alot of fights too alot of disagreements all cause some person or both are lonely

Rather have a bunch of bullshit cause maybe this gets better or good eventually

The only love that truly exists between mothers and grandmothers thats so unconditional they dnt wanna argue n fight just cause maybe at the end of the road there will b a worthy exchange for pain

They love n argue cause they want the best for you there is no reward in the love they show they show it cause dammit they love you and ive always shown that kind of love

Well i thought i have

Probably didnt but i tried

Cause if its not the correct puzzle piece or information that connects to the right button or switch bitch u otw out

And soon this will be laughing material for most, i think what alotta people dont realize is my life has been laughing matieral at all stages not just this one so

It could b worse i mean who wants to look thru a bunch of manic and emotionally charged posts 4 fun?

Even the ones I write with a clear brain

It could be source of entertainment

But i write this post all to say if he still watching im still using this page whether its the guise of a sudden audience member or if im still shouting into a void

Pple know i dont care

They say they dont care but I truly dont care, i came up alone ive been in violent situations alone nobody came 2 help so if a nigga wanna take entertainment out a chunk of my life im glad i could be a source of happiness and healing in reading thru everything that gets 2 me

Ive had niggas say they gone come kill me

Gun to my face

Stomps on my head

Ive been raped multiple times from a young age

My mom dgaf bout me i mean what more could u possibly do to me for me to feel slighted im chronically slighted

Paper cut is how most shit feel to me now

There’s nothing fun in being afraid of nothing, always said u tryna to b hard

Idk what way 2 be soft with a endearment cycle like mine. Everything comes out harsh cause how do u say things with a softness ?

How do u live softly? If u not using softness as a cover as a straight up lie cause u know deep down its not pink jeeps and white fur carpets face masks and femininity is a JOKE!

I got extremely tired of covering up who i was cause it got to be a second job

If not being me was the first one

If i gotta b scapegoat for being authentic this merely a example

Dont be honest, every girl has told me that and have been 1000% correct

Nobody ready to truly break 4th wall and be candid be deeper than words beyond thought and to disect where the orgins lye

I had a hole in my underwear lmao right

I didnt care cause like im in bed who gaf

But he did n i tried to explain why i didnt care,

Nuance

LAYER 1

have these underwear since middle school cause my mom bought them 4 me at a time where she still gaf i still got em I still wear em

LAYER 2

Im behind closed doors nobody sees me but me or you idc

LAYER 3

Holes are holes and underwear is under clothes so its not seen im not seen

On top of that im embarrassed like wtf

Cause then i think bout them posts that get seared into brains of many like hygiene politics

And i have good hygiene so i didnt gaf

Idk just know imma still post on here

From my pov my raw pov no matter if my page get found or not we out chere 😇🤷🏾‍♂️🕳️

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

u mitta scene the vid - and wunder wtf - t - i thot u sick 

yah - i do have good moments tho - i take advantage - time spent setting up - tuning - practice - cosplay -  recording -15 min - i wuz exhausted out of breath and sweating by the end - felt better than i have in daze - promptly lay down for a bit 

went out for a few minutes - mailed a couple bills - 1 block away - warm sunny - no contact w anyone within 15 feet - fed a few of my murder  - slow af fuck walk up 3 flights of stairs - lungs - esp damaged ones being attacked - need some exercise or pneumonia and fluid settles in - i make it up without needing emergency inhaler - yah i completely stop at every landing - catch breath let heart rate slow - lay down for a while 

did some dishes - not many - took maybe 10 minutes and im slow window gaze - a bit baked cant remember if i already washed or rinsed - but standing in place and using arms aggravates sciatica and the activity makes me slightly out of breath - easily back in control tho - not quite exhausted but - i lay down for a bit 

sometimes just lie down for a bit after lying down for a bit - watch some financial news during day - have made trades most planned at various steps down in the market - expecting it to go down more but tbh im not paying enuff attention to take any of my advice - this could - i dont think it will - but get a lot worse - i have cash and skillz to ride it out - anyway after watching financial news for a while - i turn on something mindless - the new shaft w samuel jackson - omg how fing violent do we hafta get and how stylized - anyway mindless - im not really watching anywaze - drift til sleep - play w kitty - watch a few minutes financial - sip coffee- back to mindless maybe sleep a bit 

thats my daze - not much diff than lately w isolation except i would b making more vid snippets and spam product lol - its not product - we dont really gaf if we even break even - we want ppl to listen read look absorb transcend  dance sing go out and make their own art and get on board the love train which im workin onna arrangement donchu know but that wip been a while 

so doing a little toward dinner - mashed potatoes boiling - thats not exactly grueling lol - well i gotta chop some garlic and onions - i prolly - u got it - lay down for a bit when finished 

i did a bit more today than lately cuz i felt better - there are prolly gonna b days i dont feel as well - the recovery for most ppl seems to b slow and treacherous  - imma recover 

and if i dont 

NO FUCKING REGRETS 

imma being sent more love -thots - wishes - prayers and imma lucky motherfucker with the best friends in the world - here reel d hybrid - ppl who only have known me as t - a performance art conceptual comedian ( fool t fool - u dont even wanna b a comic ) who plays guitar and whines - i mean mean sings sometimes and ppl who know most everything - most somewhere in between - tho u no t - tmi always 

im ok - i think - i mean - i have a fukken flu - odds say corona esp since flu season over - seems to b a milder version - have a plan w my doc to get thru 

alive and functioning well enuff to be glad im alive 

love you all 

[wereonthemoonbitch]

✨ 92 Statements ✨

I was tagged by @salt-throne thanks! 

RULES: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Sparkling lemonade. My mom bought it for a potluck and like it’s not bad but it’s not good? idk haha

2. Phone call: My friend called me but I missed it. Last call I actually answered was from my moms friend. 

3. Text message: “k that works” 

4. Song you listened to: Praying by Kesha

5. Time you cried: Today i woke up crying from a nightmare. Which happens a lot tbh. They’re not like scary nightmares either more like super sad and I start crying in my dream and then I wake up crying? 

6. Dated someone twice: Nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No

8. Been cheated on: No 

9. Lost someone special: My grandpa 

10. Been depressed: lmao i’m suffering from depression right now 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yeah once and it was terrible 

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12.-14. periwinkle, blue, and black

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes!

16. Fallen out of love: Haven’t fallen in love yet so theres no possible way for me to have fallen out of it

17. Laughed until you cried: Too many times to count 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah but not in a bad way

19. Met someone who changed you: Yeah 

20. Found out who your friends are: I have like two friends and my sister and they’re the best <3

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Lmao no. Facebook who? Like I’m surprised I still even have a Facebook. I should delete my account tbh.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them? I don’t follow people I don’t know. But also i haven’t accepted any friend requests in like the past 5 years which shows you how much i don’t gaf about my Facebook acount anymore. 

23. Do you have any pets: i have two fat cats named Oreo and Daisy and then a dog named Eliza. 

24. Do you want to change your name: No

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I went to the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner at the Mall of America (because I've never been to a Hard Rock Cafe) and it was my 21st birthday. Also the waiter asked if I wanted to go up on stage with him and he got everybody in the restaurant to say happy birthday to me it was magical. And of course I got drunk and was laughing while walking through Nickelodeon Universe (after the park was closed) back to our car. 

26. What time did you wake up: 10:30

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Game of Thrones. I’m rewatching before the new season starts. 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: To meet my long distance girlfriend in person. 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: An hour ago. She left to bring Eliza to the dog park. 

31. What are you listening to right now: There’s a Honey by Pale Waves. They only have one song out right now and I need more. They were opening for the 1975 when I went to their concert and they were AMAZING live.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Not that I can remember but probably?

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The FACT THIS IS 92 QUESTIONS???? WHY. WOULDN’T. YOU. JUST. MAKE. IT. 100????? I have questions

34. Most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube for sure

35.-37. Apparently theres no 35-37 question? Weird. So either someone deleted the questions by accident or the person making it miscounted and this should really be 89 questions? 

38. Hair colour: Light brown 

39. Long or short hair: It’s getting a little too long again I need to get a haircut

40. Do you have a crush on someone: No

41. What do you like about yourself: Being an understanding person

42. Piercings: I have ear piercings but I haven’t worn any piercings in so long.

43. Blood type: Idk haha

44. Nickname: Manda

45. Relationship status: Taken by @jhopesmexicanhoe

46. Zodiac: Taurus 

47. Pronouns: She/Her

48. Favorite TV show: I got a few right now. Game of Thrones, Orphan Black, and Wynonna Earp are probably my top 3 at the moment

49. Tattoos: No but I want one

50. Right or left handed: Left handed 

51. Surgery: I had reconstructive jaw surgery a few years ago because I was born with an open bite. Had to eat/drink out of a straw for 6-8 weeks and I couldn’t eat anything chewy or hard for like 3 months. Good smoothies and milkshakes were a lifesaver tho (don’t ever try a pizza smoothie lmao just don’t)

52. Piercing: This tag is cursed. 

53. Sport: Yeah right. 

55. Vacation: The last vacation I went on was to St Thomas US Virgin Islands and it was amazing! The scenery and beaches were beautiful. I got to swim with the cutest sea turtles out in the wild. And the food was sooo good. Also their rum is cheap af. 

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: i eat out a lot which is probably bad

58. Drinking: I mostly just drink pop and water (too much pop tho my gf doesn’t approve haha)

59. I’m about to: Try to work on some fan videos i’m making of different ships I like.

WHERES 60??????? CURSED

61. Waiting for: 7:45 tonight so I can see Spiderman: Homecoming haha

62. Want: To fall in love

63. Get married: I want to get married someday

64. Career: I’m still undecided but I know I want to work in the medical field

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs because I've never been kissed (yet)

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: I don’t care

68. Older or younger: Someone who is my age or close to my age

WHY YOU LEAVE OUT 69???? 

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: All arms and stomachs are beautiful

71????? 92 QUESTIONS IS A LIE

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant af

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: No

75. Drank hard liquor: Yeah 

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my glasses more times than I can count and then I end up finding them in the stupidest places. 

77. Turned someone down: I’ve turned like family and friends down when they’ve wanted to go do things and I just wasn’t in the mood. But turning someone down that wanted to go out with me nope.

78. Sex on the first date: Nah

79. Broken someone’s heart: Not yet and I hope I never do

80. Had your heart broken: No

81. Been arrested: No

82. Cried when someone died: Yeah I cried when my grandpa died

83. Fallen for a friend: Haha yes but thats history and she was straight af

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Sometimes

85. Miracles: Yes

86. Love at first sight: No

87. Santa Claus: Santa Claus is real binch

88. Kiss on the first date: Yeah why not

89. Angels: No not really

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: Megan

91. Eye colour: Hazel

92. Favourite movie: I don’t watch that many movies but at the moment it’s probably Wonder Woman

I’m tagging: @jhopesmexicanhoe @promoteselfsoothing @fanofdeadships @gbrenes but if you’re smart you’ll probably not do this because it took me forever and it’s a cursed tag