#no guarantees that I'll actually you know...work on them any faster

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine the beast pirates learning you are a criminal mastermind

Kaido: *going over a cargo manifest* we will sell these in Port Chugal, prepare them for shipment.

King: Port Chugal won't buy pirate goods anymore, the world government found out they've been trading with us, so they replaced the king there.

Kaido: That's the third distribution market I've had to change in the last month. First the Bourgeois Kingdom, then Ballywood, and now Port Chugal. How are they finding my warehouses?

Queen: we don't know at the moment, but we're working on it

You: *King's assistant* I would like to point out something that all three have in common.

King: Silence.

Kaido: let em talk, I want to hear what they have to say.

You: they were all common stops on Captain Rondow's transport route, who was captured almost three months ago by the world government.

Kaido: You think the poor bastard broke under torture?

You: It appears so, and from the other reports we're getting I'm guessing they have figured out how you conduct your exportation operation. *Hands King the reports*

King: *Skims them* we spent years building this system.

You: which means building another will be faster this time. I'm guessing how they're locating our goods is by the fact that while it's labeled under a company that doesn't have any paperwork officially filed in countries we claim it's from.

Kaido: what are we supposed to do, get a business permit?

You: yes, but actually no. Now any new businesses from any nations in your territory will come under scrutiny by the world government. So I think we should find any failing, but long-established companies, and bail them out in exchange for slipping our illicit cargo into their product distribution.

King: that... might actually work, but there's no way we can guarantee their loyalty.

You: that's why you give them a small percentage of the profits and gather blackmail material. Most rich people are sick fucks will have skeletons in their closet, you just have to look for it.

Kaido: I'll entrust the task to you, and in the meantime we'll have Yamato fill in for you with King.

King: what! No! Your son is... not great at paperwork.

Kaido: Sorry bud, but I'd like to see what they can do on their own, so I'm setting them loose.

Returns from setting up the new network seven months later

Kaido: I just got the finance report for the last quarter

You: *literally just got off the boat* Sir?

King: Your network is more efficient than what we had set up.

Kaido: you're getting promoted, so you can manage it from here.

You: But I was really looking forward to working with King again.

Kaido: then you'll work under him not me.

You: I'm keeping my desk in your office.

King: For someone who ruthlessly castrated a man to get him to do what they wanted, you are very clingy and sentimental.

You: I was well within my rights to revoke that man's dick privilege, you had no idea how man people he's assaulted. I did that town a fucking favor by pickling that man's junk

Kaido: you pickled it!

You: Yes I did, how else, so you think I got an entire town to look the other way about our ships coming into the harbor?

Kaido: I never would have thought of that... You know when I met you I never would have guessed you'd be an asset to my operations. You seemed too soft and naive, too kind.

You: *shrugs* Well thank you for thinking I'm kind, but I just so happen to hate you less than the world government, and you have more money than the revolutionary army. And Lin Lin and her family freaks me out.

King: don't forget Akagami and Whitebeard won't hire you since you've worked with us.

You: *clicks your tongue* and I regret it every day.

Coming Soon

[coralquest]

─ a night like a fairy tale | Izuku Midoriya

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

♡.ೃ࿐ FORMAT: one-shot | fluff

♡.ೃ࿐ PAIRING: Izuku x Reader

♡.ೃ࿐ WORDCOUNT: 1k+

SUMMARY: Reality hit you like a lawnmower, overwhelming you with the stress of filling out and signing multiple papers. With no sense of time, you caused restlessness in Izuku who was eagerly waiting for you in the room. It's only a matter of time before he refuses to let you spend even a minute on those papers, pulling you back into the fantasy world where you feel most at ease and comfortable with him.

.

.

♡.ೃ࿐

"love, I won't say it again."

Your ears listened to the sweet threats echoing from the bedroom, not even bothering to raise your head at such a tone as you had your own little moment, scribbling on the work papers you were still working on late into the night.

But still, it managed to distract you a little from the constant staring into space, now letting go of everything to take a sip of hot coffee.

"Yeah, yeah..one second and I'm done for sure." you smiled, those dark circles under the numb eyes of yours that shone above the lamp gave off a look ten times worse than the gremlin itself, constantly feeding on your weariness.

This is what happens when you don't know what peace actually is in life. Worry about this, stress about that, no rest, no sleep. Just work until you completely fall apart, isn't that the easiest way around?

Enriching your lungs with life of a very deep sigh, you decided to choose the side of suffering for a bit longer before finally throwing yourself in bed. You shouldn't have been thinking about anything at all, because just the thought of flying to bed made you sleepier than you already were, you needed to go back to work.

And just as your hand was to position the pen in a tight grip once again, it found itself in the trap of another, now slightly rougher hand, leaving the pen untouched.

„Just one second, huh? I don't buy that. I doubt you even know what time it is.”

Your dearest shadow could now be very noticeable from all corners of the room, appearing right behind your now embraced, yet so drowsy body which, to your surpise, still kept its balance on the chair.

"So? What time is it, baby?"

"I believe it's past midnight, but let me finish this, Izuku. I'm almost do—"

„One more second, almost done, almost done..“ he mocked.

„..right, but I personally think you could draw yourself in bed for that one second, doesn't that sound any better?" Izuku was now smiling so innocently, yet giving you those cheeky little glances here and there with his hands now roaming freely all over you, just like being in the jungle having coffee with a mamba.

Just the thought of it dragged you into a fantasy that you rarely had time to dream about; just you and Izuku, your sleeping soul among his, tenderest, flowing from stream to stream at his touch, so smooth yet so rough. And even the smallest kiss was enough to throw you back to reality in front of a table of more than a hundred papers instead of that jungle coffee, causing your heart to rot once again.

"Silly, I guarantee that you will literally fall asleep right there on the table if I go to the room without you now.“

"Like I said Izuku, I only have a li-"

"Jajaja—! No way I'm listening! You're coming with me by force!“

You knew you were giving up as soon as you felt those gentle hands reaching behind your knees faster than thunder itself, collecting you as if you were the prize of the world.

„I'll wake you up in the morning so you'll have time to sleep, go back to your senses and be ready for a new day and new challenges! I consider these papers the lowest level so ,” kissing your golden eyebrows that were still frowning at him for no reason, you caught them in the act as they slowly yielded, loving the attention they were getting at this very moment.

„—Don't waste your energy on those things when it's time to be next to me and snore your heart out under that blanket!“

From sudden giggles he successfully triggered in you, you buried your head deep into his chest trying to catch your breath, but to no avail. But soon, your pouting role quickly returned, babbling something muffled in his chest.  Now that you had all his loving attention towards you, you decided to pull all those words back into silence. It was even a good thing your head wasn't sticking out yet, otherwise Izuku would be met with a bright red radish like in the middle of a field in the hot sun.

"I can't hear you like that if you have your head buried in me like an ostrich. Something wrong?”

„No..“ That slippery tone of yours sounded more like you were asking yourself that than adding an answer to it.

„Hm. Y'sure?“

„No..“

"No? Did I do something?"

You slowly turned your head upwards, then downwards, nodding dramatically.

"So..wanna tell me?"

He certainly saw all that as something very sweet about you. You generally frowned like that, even when there was no reason for war, but still, he loved it when it came to that.

And in the other hand, you melted there like pudding in his arms, hesitating a bit then stretching those words out on the tip of your tongue until they decided to come out on their own.

"You didn't kiss my lips."

"What? You need to be louder, love." he teased you whilst walking slowly into the bedroom with you glued to him.

"Stop joking, don’t wanna repeat myself."

"Then I really don't know what you want, sorry." and there it was again, that mischievous laugh of that same angel who was wooing you just a few minutes ago. You never liked this torture in such a way. But of course, you softened even more in the blush of your own hidden face.

„Okay, okay, m'sorry sweetheart. We're not messing around anymore, I understand. Want a kiss, though?“

Your mind didn't even think to turn to his side of the bed. You sighed hatefully just enough that he could clearly see that he had gone too far with his little humorous remarks.

But Izuku, of course, didn't mind in the slightest. In fact, he loved when he got the chance to see you all as mad as a lynx, putting funny things together like puzzles. The lynx is a very dangerous animal, but after all it is a cat that likes to be cuddled too. At that, he crawled like a worm closer to your angry figure, noticing how you didn't even move to stop his hands that were already glued to you, caressing your neck lightly.

"Your highness, I fear that I may have committed a grave sin. Will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"Shut up for once."

"I will, my dearest lady, if you tell me how I can make it up to you?"

You leaned towards him, half turning to shot a serious look at now oh-so-comical Izuku.

"I shall never forgive you, you filthy bandit."

He gasped, dramatically.

"And not even for those kisses you've been searching for all this wonderful time, my lady?"

Reminding you of that, you suddenly snuggled into the blankets, ready to go to sleep and even without saying "good night",

"Oh no, not on my watch! If you won't go by grace, we're going by force!"

..but how can such a thing happen?- of course you won't be able to frown with those furrowed brows for long, now laughing under the warm blankets with the "bandit" so fabulously kissing every point on your nose and face, neck and shoulder, taking you under the clouds where there was absolutely no desk and papers at all,

but only you and him, and the clock that had read half past three in the morning.

.

.

♡.ೃ࿐

[rumbelleshowdown]

-

Author: Veethree

Group: D

Prompts: Rumple sees Gideon’s birth. The beast is gone. Whispers.

-

Racing Back Home

Rumpelstiltskin held tight onto the reins.

At moments like this, he wished he could allow himself to use his power for his own needs. However, magic had a price. 

Selfishness made for an easy slide into darkness. 

Dark magic would eventually eat him alive.

Therefore, Rumpelstiltskin rode instead of flashing himself home.

He had abandoned the heavy armor and unnecessary weapons at the last inn, confident they would be cared for until he sent back for his things.

Even dishonest innkeepers would think twice of stealing from the Light One. 

While his magic wouldn't allow punishment for such paltry wrongs, a single whisper from him in the right ears would assure that travelers avoided the place.

Life had taught Rumpelstiltskin that where a conscience often failed to hold people to honesty, self-interest gave even the meanest souls a hearty kick in the right direction.

At the moment, however, Rumpelstiltskin would have gladly suffered the loss of his baggage if the inn had provided a faster horse.

The most important journey of his life, and he was tied to this nag!

***

Miles ahead, the head midwife was damning the Light One to Hades and back. "Big hero he is, bah!" She punctuated her disdain with a sharp tap of her ladle against the boiling pot. "Too afraid of a bit of hassle, like all the others. Hunting a beast, indeed. Running away, more like!"

Two younger women glanced at her nervously, but Angela had lived in this town since before Rumpelstiltskin had given his first spark of light magic. She had delivered his first child, too, and forced her way past a man grieving nearly to madness to prepare the boy for burial, too.

After that long evening, she had no fear to treat Rumpelstiltskin as she would any other idiot under her charge.

The man seemed to welcome the familiarity, more often than not. Poor bastard.

"I'll chase him with a broom, if he dares barge in drunk," she continued, adding a few herbs to the water. "See if I won't."

"Grandmother..." said her prospective successor, wringing her hands.

Months under her teaching, and the girl still couldn't understand how to distract a woman in labor.

"It's all right," came a tired voice from the bed. Rumpelstiltskin's second wife didn't look her usual pretty self, but women never did in these hours. "I know you mean well, Mistress Brown, but there'll be no need for that broom."

"Hmph." Angela served some of the fresh pain reliever, still puzzled at the chipped cup but willing enough to cosset new mothers. Especially those without a husband at their bedside. "We'll see, won't we?"

***

Unarmed and alone, he had become irresistible prey.

Rumpelstiltskin usually solved road thievery by stopping for a conversation and working out new job positions in nearby towns. Or, if the men had a thirst for violence rather than actual need, he delivered them in person to the nearest sheriff so they could have a fair trial.

Today, the three robbers were lucky not to be dumped straight in the Evil Queen's deepest dungeons. 

"I'll deal with you later," he told the panicked rabbits before releasing them from the freezing spell. "And I can't guarantee your safety beyond this clearing," he warned, tossing a quick protection spell around, "so I don't recommend leaving on your own. There are wolves nearby, you know."

His smirk vanished as he remounted his horse. That had been a half hour wasted.

Damn it.

***

"DAMN IT, RUMPLE!"

Angela patted the girl's sweaty forehead with a fresh cloth. "There, there," she said softly, setting aside her harsher persona for later use. She might bop the Light One a few times just to make his wife smile. "Let it all out, sweeting."

"HE IS NOT HERE!"

"Maybe the beast in Nottingham managed to -"

"Out, Ruthie," she snapped at her granddaughter. It pained her to admit it, but the girl had no future in the business. She did well enough caring for their herb garden, so at least it was not all lost. "Don't listen to the little fool," she started soothing the struggling girl, but was relieved to find resolute blue eyes staring at her.

"My husband might be later than expected," she said clearly, ignoring her pain to make her point clear, "but his message said he's on his way. He is coming." Raising to a sitting position, she glared around, daring anybody to contradict her.

The younger women nodded in a hurry.

Angela herself was glad for the girl's fierceness. First births had happier results when the mother kept her strength.

"Of course, milady. The beast is gone and that boy is rushing back where he belongs." As she spoke, she helped the girl settle back on the pillows, aware than another contraction would hit soon. "Let's hope his child isn't in a hurry as well."

***

Rumpelstiltskin would have gladly throttled the carriage driver. Images of another rabbit crossed his mind, perhaps joined by white mice if he decided to transform the horses as well. 

Instead he took a deep breath and helped pull the carriage out of the mud.

A quick spell to heal a horse's leg followed. 

Rumpelstiltskin could spare the magic. That was the point of being the Light One.

He didn't heal the man's scratches, though.

Perhaps he would pay more attention the next time he drove after a heavy rain.

***

Angela would murder the Light One.

What was the point of all that fancy magic if their idiot Savior could never get home in time to see his children come to the world?

The girl panted, biting down another scream.

There was no need to spare a midwife such sounds, but Angela didn't bother to repeat herself. If a woman wanted to restrain herself on the birthing bed, it was her business.

"It hurts!"

"The babe is coming, milady," she said in an even tone. With a gesture, she motioned the other women to prepare the last details for the main event. "Won't be long now."

"Don't you dare 'milady' me now," the girl gritted out. "My name is Belle."

Angela arched an eyebrow.

It was well known that Rumpelstiltskin had gone courting far above his station. A duke's daughter! His magic and reputation, of course, had secured the match.

Seeing that stubborn expression on the girl's face, however, made Angela consider what that giant squire had let slip one time:

Perhaps it had been Rumpelstiltskin who had been romanced into a second marriage.

And perhaps the bride in question would have taken him to the altar with or without  her father's permission.

"Well, then." She grinned. "Time to push, Belle."

***

Rumpelstiltskin jumped off the horse and sent magic ahead to slam the door open, unwilling to lose even another second.

At the doorstep of their bedroom, he came to an abrupt halt, unprepared for the bevy of women in the room. However, he quickly found his Belle among the chaos.

"Belle," he cried out, pushing his way inside and relieved when the women quickly gave him space at his wife's side.

Belle smiled.

The bop of a ladle against his head made him yelp, but before he could complain, Belle was laughing.

He forgot even to glare at the old woman when Belle reached a hand out for him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier," he told her, threading her fingers through his while his other hand worked a small spell to soothe her pain.  "I rode as fast as I dared."

Belle nodded. "I know. It's all right. You are here now."

Despite their year of marriage, he still felt off his footing at the lack of complaints over his mistakes. But Belle was always sincere even if---

"Out of the way, Rumpelstiltskin," Mistress Brown all but growled, a look in her eye that took Rumpelstiltskin back to boyhood. His aunts had worn that look when they meant business.

He squished himself closer to Belle, leaving as much space as humanly possible for the women. "Is there anything I can do, sweetheart?"

Belle shook her head.

Then she arched in pain and squeezed his hand.

Fighting ogres didn't hurt as much. 

Rumpelstiltskin only got a pitying look from the midwife.

"On the bright side," the woman said a little too gleefully, "if she breaks your bones you can heal yourself."

***

Hours later, Rumpelstiltskin was the only one still awake in the house. He just couldn't stop staring between his wife and their baby boy.

Careful not to shift the mattress and risk waking either mother or son, he traced the air above the newborn’s features again, marveling over and over at the tiny traces of himself and Belle.

"You mom fell asleep before she could tell you," he informed the boy in a loving whisper. "Your name is Gideon, for her second favorite hero."

Rumpelstiltskin smiled at the memory of that argument. Belle had wanted family names, and while they easily agreed on naming a baby girl after her mother, a choice for a boy was more difficult to settle.

Now that boy was here, and Rumpelstiltskin believed he would never stop smiling.

"Welcome home, Gid."

-

[cryptidsurveys]

Wednesday, August 7th, 2024.

Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? Depending on what day it falls on and what my schedule looks like at the time, I will most likely be spending it at the animal shelter. The rest of the day will be spent at home with my dad. I'm sure I'll do something with my mom to celebrate Christmas too, but not necessarily on the day-of.

What time do you usually go to sleep at night? I go to bed super early (like 7pm-8pm); however, it takes me a while to fall asleep, so unconsciousness happens sometime around 9pm. I also typically wake up during the night and it takes me a bit to get back to sleep. Going to bed so early is pretty much the only thing that even halfway guarantees that I'll get at least 7-8 hours of solid sleep. Unfortunately, going to bed later with the hope that I'll fall asleep faster or sleep more deeply just shrinks that available window of opportunity.

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No, but we did meet during my high school years.

Have you ever wanted to be vegetarian or vegan? I have been vegan/vegetarian at different points in my life, but not currently.

Do you park your car in a garage, carport or just in a driveway? I park it in the driveway. There's no room in the other half of our garage, but even if there was…lmao, I'm afraid I would park in there and I wouldn't be able to back out again. New driver problems, I guess. ;D

Have you ever been a passenger in a semi-trailer truck? Yeah. In childhood. We broke down on the way back from a grocery shopping trip in another city and a semi driver gave us a ride back into town.

Have you felt sick today? No. Just tired, but a good, satisfying type of tired.

Whose was the last funeral you attended? It was for the father of a past partner, back in 2009.

Have you read The Hunger Games trilogy? I have.

How many times a week do you wash your hair? A bunch. Twice on animal shelter days because I shower before and after, then at least once during my two days off. Like, sometimes I'll skip showering on one of the days if all I'm doing is going grocery shopping, but if I'm feeling gross or have therapy or some other social activity later in the day, then I'll take one.

Do you need to wash your hair right now? I guess I don't need to because I showered last night, but I will be showering shortly because I need to get ready to go to therapy before too much longer.

Do you avoid using public restrooms? Not really.

What is your boss’ (or school principal’s) name? I'm not going to give their real names (I've been using aliases for animal shelter staff for the sake of anonymity, plausible deniability, or what have you), but they will be referred to in this blog as Leslie and Iris.

Have you seen any extended relatives in the last month? I haven't.

Do you like eggnog? Yeah.

Is there anything important you need to do today? Therapy, wash my bedding, make some art, and spend some time with my kitties (I can tell they miss me now that I'm gone more often). Oh, and because I don't know if I'll get a chance to take a survey within the next few days, I'll just talk about some upcoming stuff. I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow morning and I need to pick up a bunch of doughnuts to bring in on Friday. It might be Cassie's last day, so I want to have a little going away celebration with the people in cattery. It's also going to be one of our community service worker's last days, so we're going to sneakily invite him back there as well. Plus Darrel - can't forget Darrel. And I'm getting enough so that the dog staff can have some too because I don't want them to feel left out, especially not with how kind they've all been to me.

Who is the person you dislike the most? Okay, you know when you work with someone who drives you up the wall with their behavior/personality? Then you find out they might be leaving (it's still a case of I'll believe it when I see it)? And you're like…damn, I'm actually gonna miss you a little bit. Maybe you're not so bad after all. And what if the person who replaces you is even worse? (It's Alex, lmao.)

Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? Yeah.

Have you ever properly listened to classical music? Did you like it? I don't know what you mean by properly, but I basically always listen to classical music whenever I'm in the car. I do like it.

Do your parents know how to text? Yeah.

Do you text your parents often? Not that often. I text my dad when I'm on my way home from the shelter after full days (sometimes we get finished much later than expected), and I text my mom only very occasionally.

What letter does your middle name begin with? A.

Do your initials spell an actual word? HAT.

What will you do when this survey is over? I'm actually going to stop here and go take my shower. I'll finish this later in the day, so you'll have your answer then… OKAY. I'm back from therapy. It was cancelled due to a family emergency. I had a snack, made some art, and after this…I think I'm going to lie in bed and listen to something on YouTube until lunchtime.

Do you know anyone with celiac disease? I don't think so.

How many siblings do you have? Are they all full siblings? I have one sibling.

What’s the weather like today? Sunny and hot.

Have you ever eaten a cinnamon donut? I might have.

What is the longest relationship you’ve ever been in? A few years.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Twice.

How do you usually celebrate New Years? I don't really do anything. I don't even bother staying up until midnight.

Is the place that you’re in right now quiet or loud? What can you hear? It's a little bit loud due to the swamp cooler.

Do you currently have any alarms set? No.

How many cars can fit in your driveway? You could probably squish four in there if you wanted to.

Do you like whiskey? I don't like the taste of hard liquor in general. Then again, I don't drink it for the taste.

When was the last time you ate, and what did you have? I had Greek yogurt with fruit, cereal, and chocolate syrup.

[77angelnumbers77]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Hello! I'm Liz and I write fanfiction on Ao3. My workskins are published here.

I made this account to update on the progress of various fics, share my work on another platform, and interact with people who like my writing! And post my art I guess. And fight with @rainyamy. Stop the presses!! This blog has been sidetracked!!

╰┈➤ I am a giant VrisRezi shipper, but I dabble in other pairings as well.

╰┈➤ I take requests, but they are just that – requests. I cannot guarantee that I will write for you.

Here is a masterpost of all my current works. [Not up to date circa Oct 16 2023]

Want to contact me?

╰┈➤ Email me at 77angelNumbers77@gmail.com

╰┈➤ Send an ask

╰┈➤ Send a DM

╰┈➤ Form for anonymous feedback, requests, beta applications, or just misc messages

╰┈➤ Last but not least, just comment! I love comments, they make my day!

⌦--.BYF

I sometimes write explicit content and upsetting themes. By interacting with me, you are agreeing that this content doesn't bother you. If you want me to add a tag to a work, please feel free to contact me in any of the ways listed above! I am a hobbyist. Writing fanfiction is not my job! I may go a while between fics or updates. I may not take your requests. This is because I am a person, not a machine. Want me to write faster? All I can say is that kudos and comments fuel me. Don't be shy! I prefer to keep my personal life private. I can't guarantee that I'll be sharing anything about myself on this account, this is simply a place to talk about my fanfiction and other hobby things. All you need to know is that if I'm not writing, I'm probably hiking!! Or doing the things I actually have to do. (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

ꕥ--.Transformative Works Statement

I would love it if you reached out before making fanworks for my writing, but I also love to be surprised! DMs are open and I don't bite. Please credit me if you create fanworks inspired by my work. Specific information below:

Podfics Yes please! If you create podfic based on my fanwork, there’s no need to notify me beyond using the "Inspired by" link on AO3. Translations Absolutely! If you create translations based on my fanwork, there’s no need to notify me beyond using the "Inspired by" link on AO3. Fanart Big yes! If you create fanart based on my fanwork, there’s no need to notify me beyond using the "Inspired by" link on AO3. Recursive Works (eg Prequels/Sequels) Please check in with me before creating recursive works based off my fanworks. Works inspired by my work are fine! Just use the "Inspired by" link or tag me on Tumblr. Remixes Please check in with me before creating remixes based off my fanworks. Fanbinding Yes (literally nothing would make me happier)!!! You can share the typeset files with other fans as long as you credit me. Due to dubious legality, please do not send my fanworks to a printing service to be printed. I don't want to be sued. Please contact me beforehand and credit me by keeping my name on the work. Other I welcome other types of transformative works based off of my fanworks! If you create other types of fanworks based on my writing, there’s no need to notify me beyond using the "Inspired by" link on AO3 or tagging me on Tumblr.

This blanket permission statement/transformative works statement was created with the help of the Fanworks Permission Statement Builder. You can create your own custom statement here.

✶--.Fandoms

Homestuck Naruto Yu-gi-oh (DM and GX) Madoka Magica

This account is only for my Homestuck writings. DM for my Naruto account. Yugioh account is @judai-judaii.

I dabble in other fandoms but these are my big ones at the moment!!

♡--.Pairings

These aren't all ships I'm super serious for, or ships that I'll ever write for! I just like them. My OTP is denotated with a crown. Only Homestuck pairings here for simplicity!! Any quadrant.

♛ Vriska Serket x Terezi Pyrope John Egbert x Terezi Pyrope John Egbert x Dirk Strider Gamzee Makara x Roxy Lalonde Eridan Ampora x Sollux Captor Sollux Captor x Aradia Megido Calliope x Roxy Lalonde Gamzee Makara x Vriska Serket Davesprite x Jade Harley Vriska Serket x Aradia Megido

I'm always open to new pairings as well!

If you read this far: thanks!! Credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers! I made the blinkie and my pfp ♡

[savrenim]

i saw your post about anime bullshit vs ifmlam and can i just say im so glad you're having so much fun writing? i discovered you through ifmlam but i've been shoving your other fics and patreon and original stuff straight into my mouth because i love your style and knowing that you're having a good time even with the fic that definitely comes from a Different Time Of Your Life is just. really cool idk

aaaaah thank you so much!!!! 

yeah it's really fun and funny looking at my writing over both short and long time frames because there's so much of me stamped in? like there are the tiny things like sometimes when I'm lazy coming up with idiosyncrasies for characters (everything from "I'm going to give you my coffee order" to "I'm going to give you my childhood hyperfixation with volcanoes"*) to obviously with my fanfiction there is the Piece Of Fiction I Was Obsessed With At The Time but also a lot of the original fiction that I have I can pinpoint the setting influences and vibe influences of both stories that I liked but also Other Things That Were Going On In My Life and it just kind of feels like my whole body of work traces my emotional state and the things I was excited about and loved and hated in weird subtle ways and I really like that, the same way that like. the playlists that I've made and listen to on repeat for months at a time have. 

and it also kind of feeds into most of my projects are multi-year projects to ever finish but I never really try to build them around the expectation that I'll feel the same way for a decade, I build them around feelings that I know will be meaningful time capsules? like the way that I choose tattoos: as things that will mean something to me because they represent something important that I felt, not that I feel 

and I guess I'm really glad that I'm in a space where ifmlam is actually exciting to me again, bc it was something that was a huge positive to me for so long and it was a piece of work that not only am I really proud of what I'd written but there are so many upcoming parts that I'm even prouder of and I'm really glad that I never gave up and posted the outline of the rest of it bc it is fun to look back on who I was and how I wrote and take a break from who I am and what I've been doing for the last 5-6 years and return to a previous place both with what's changed and what hasn't. it's nostalgic and it feels right. I think I needed the break but also never needed to throw out the baby with the bathwater and I'm glad that I didn't. and like. maybe I'm having Emotions bc my life is Changing right now faster and more drastically than it ever has before and I think vastly for the better? but boy is it Emotions.

anyways this is a long and rambly way of saying that yeah, ifmlam is officially coming back; there are 2130 words of the next chapter (and oops a bit of a life update) on my patreon right now, and whether or not the patreon keeps voting for that as my open work to guarantee my working on it, I think enough momentum is built up that a new chapter will be posted-posted in like. 3ish months tops? and I'm loathe to make predictions about my life given how unpredictable my life is being right now but maybe possibly it's getting to a place where ifmlam is back on a "sporadic every few months updates" track rather than a "several years of hiatus in between new chapter drops" track???? but I guess we'll see. I'm really having a fun time letting my patreon vote on stuff bc while "wait for inspiration to strike for any given project" is a fun way to do things, I've also realized that I've got so many multi-year projects to finish that crowdsourcing some of what I'm working on makes me feel like I'm making progress on things that matter rather than stalling out on everything bc it's all going at once 

although also speaking of next few months and things no longer stalling even with it being The Most Anime Bullshit thing I've ever written GODS am I excited for Opus I and I think that one's also???? coming really soon??????? as in only a few months??????????

*neither of these have appeared yet in anything published please no one waste time pouring through everything I've ever published to try to find these examples

[animehouse-moe]

New Viz Manga Announcements

So, I won't be taking much of a look at some of the questionable and lazy licenses in much detail, but I will give an overview of them. I'll be going into detail on the good ones though, and that includes the Shojo Beat licenses.

So let's start with lazy. Why was Viz so lazy with these announcements compared to last year's? Well, the answer is that Viz believes themselves to be overextended in the NA market currently, which is somewhat of an understatement. They've put themselves in a deadlock by refusing to raise volume price and having tight margins. They can't expand printing operations because they don't have enough, so they don't license much in turn causing an overall slow down. It's a dumb position to be put in, and one that has a lot of solutions. Regardless, I'm here to talk licenses, so let's get that going.

Jojo's: Stone Ocean and Another Junji Ito Collection

These are no surprise, Viz has a hard on for Junji Ito and his style of horror, and Jojo's is a staple of similar caliber. The only complaint is how slow Viz is to release Jojo's, considering we'll only be starting part 6 in NA when Part 9 will be ongoing in Japan, effectively putting us three entire parts behind (which is an insane 68 Volumes based on the Japanese release). And Junji Ito, well, it's Junji Ito. It's cool, I guess. It's just boring to have 20 volumes of horror manga from the same creator and nothing else.

Naruto and MHA Coloring Books

I don't really think there's any explaining for these. Announcing they licensed these was borderline pointless, and just feels like Viz is padding out their catalogue with easy items.

FMA and Demon Slayer Side Stories

These are certainly not serious offenders in the grand scheme of things, but just sort of boring announcements? They're guarantees, so to speak. It was inevitable like Viz getting JJK and CSM, there's nothing really incredible to hearing about them, you're just sat there thinking, "Oh, that's pretty nice I guess".

Demon Slayer, Jujutsu Kaisen, and Spy x Family Fan & Guide Material

Truthfully, Spy x Family's is the least bad on this list. The Demon Slayer fan book was February 2021 in Japan, and JJK's was October 2021 (Spy x Family was May 2022). That means that there's a wait of at minimum a year and getting close to even 3 years of wait time. For fan books. For anime. Demon Slayer is entering its third arc, and JJK Season 2 will have aired before we get the fan book for the anime's first season. It's just... depressing. Spy x Family's is the best, and even then it's cutting close to releasing before its second season and movie. I get that beggars can't be choosers, but the bar can only be placed so low.

Tatsuya Endo and Spy x Family Content

Tatsuya Endo is the newest cash cow for Viz, clearly. They now have every non-one shot/single volume series licensed by adding Blade of The Moon Princess (left). It's not that I'd say no, but what room are these licenses taking up? What other series that would be better or more interesting than some of Endo's older work? And the Spy x Family novel was a given, waste of space in this announcement and should have been announced along CSM Buddy Stories.

Chainsaw Man Box Set

One of the biggest manga titles in recent years, Chainsaw Man finally get its Part 1 box set... with no announcements for Part 2 in sight, of course (this is the actual image they shared). And what do you get for purchasing this 11 volume box set? Why a poster, of course! It's 11 volumes, Viz. Incredibly far removed, really halved, from the normal volume count of a box set. Which, you know, you buy to save money on a series and collect it faster when there's more than 20 volumes. This is pointless. No nicer covers, no bigger trim size, no real bonuses. A waste of money aside from people that want the box.

Shojo Saviors

Unironically, Shojo Beat came out with the best stuff overall from the Viz announcements. A trio of series, two ongoing and one completed. The first two images are series already by authors that have other works in English as well. Sakura, Saku! by the author of Ao Haru Ride (is ongoing), and Neighborhood Story by the famous Ai Yazawa. The third, Tamon's B Side, is the new author Yuki Shiwasu. As a trio, it's very promising, and has nice range overall. The first two are very easy to recommend to anyone, especially those that have read any prior series from either author, while the third is more of a wild card.

The Good Ones: Takopi's Original Sin & #DRCL Midnight Children

And at the end of our list, we find the two new (and good) licenses from Viz out of this entire announcement. Takopi's Original Sin is sort of like an Inio Asano style affair from new author Taizan 5 (who currently has The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins in serialization), and #DRCL Midnight Children is a retelling of a version of Dracula's story by author Shinichi Sakamoto, who also has Innocent releasing under Dark Horse this year. Both are very solid series, as I've taken a peek at each online (even before they were announced), so they will fit very comfortably within Viz's lineup.

Final Thoughts - A Letdown

Really, that's all I need to say. It was a letdown. You look at the prior license announcements for other publishers and they're all far better than this, and Viz is the biggest publisher by a large margin. This is what they manage, a bit of housekeeping and effectively two new series, Takopi's being complete at 2 volumes and #DRCL in print at currently two volumes. It's not a stretch to say that Shojo Beat had the better announcements. Which is depressing because Shojo Beat has been getting outdone by Yen Press as of late, and Seven Seas is constantly steamrolling them. So where does that put Viz? In a hole. Their current catalogue is massive and popular, but the effectively added nothing to the list with this announcement, so we'll have to see what they end up doing with the next ones.

[the-firebird69]

About - new site

I don't see what you're saying there's not that many boxster Porsche cars out there but I can put this out there and I have a lot of shops in La not doing anything and I'll provide it for most any party unless we're having a feud right there in LA or recent problems I don't really have too many problems it's really other people saying it's me they'll probably come down and try and implicate me but if you have a boxster or similar even the old Porsche will work we can adjust the body I would like to build you a vehicle and we have our models listed here attached and our friend says those are different models basically in the same class and he has ideas for different classes that go along with it and he actually designed most of it and with me and our wives and they are awesome cars he did say that for growth and expansion he does have an idea to try and use front wheel drive vehicles and I'm open to that and he's hoping to help me with the design and they have a panel that's different to make it lighter and easier to install and it can be done by people the kid would be thorough but we like to do the work ourselves to give you a car and we warranty and guarantee it for our end of it because you're into the mechanical side tires and rims and we do some work on the top end and the exhaust but we also check the engine out and we give you a report and we keep that if it's a new car we do have full warranty ability. And we can certify it and we suggest you have it towed in but if you have less than thousand miles it's brand new now we're going to go ahead and put this up and I'm approving it and I'm going to make a waiting list that should speed up overtime at first it might be several months and then it might be reduced to several weeks because I'll be opening shops the whole time as customers come in and really the boxster is not much of a car it doesn't go that fast it's about a $195 mph most of these go well over 200 about 250 is the slowest and 350 is the fastest he does have ways of making it go a lot faster and I want to hear about it and he has ideas on making the change flight simpler and we're going to go with that too we do know who's out front and they're a pain in the ass and they shouldn't be there but in front of his house but we're going to go ahead with us and he wants to make other models and it looks similar to the Cena and we're going to try and negotiate something and right now I'm going to start this up and accept customers he doesn't supply anything I've got all my suppliers and it's just like the e-bike his electric without the e on the front and yeah he helped me name it and Chrissy did too and Hera and we are top level designers we've worked on Ferrari Porsche and Lamborghini and Bugatti and McLaren that last one is really his company he designed the whole car but he did it with Brad and I helped out and everyone was amazed they said we can beat everybody so he's good at it it's the same class it's a different style but he's got one that's a c3 that Brad might work with us on and it's so stealth and it's extremely fast nothing I've ever heard of those that fast except for the Cena and we're thinking about that and we might try and work with them but right now it's just the boxster and it turns it into a real car the monster doesn't have much horsepower and he's Volkswagen has a stigma so we might work into and there's plenty of other cars when is the Mazda it's still a mid-engine it's slow and power though he says his front engine drives they have a lot of power and go real fast too much power and they're American with 180 horsepower and 97 in works and most of them are that this one is 96 in and we can adjust and it would work and look awesome and I'll tell you what it's a great idea of it right now we're sticking with the Porsche so please if you have one you'd like these cars please sign up and send it down or come down test drive one they're awesome this is going to be great and I'm a race car driver actually F1 and a couple other types and I do well and on international circuits

Bg

We're going to do that I had some luck with Dan I see what he's saying he's having trouble getting stuff going he's got a car and it's an idea it looks great it's going to be below the radar that's a couple of yours are but I want to put mine in the box is useless I can't even zoom around without the things sliding all over like it's a Pontiac or something it's awful it's not it doesn't handle as well as the Saab that our friend's mom has I can't believe it this is a good idea

Tommy f

And yeah he'll probably come by eventually there's a couple others

Bg

We work together on the e-bike and we can be civil and we think we'll go by and drop ours off we want to see how he makes it and how it goes together some people say it might be a little complicated but like a race car but more so recent successes and we know how that goes and it's not real complicated and he says he's kind of right it's a mix but it's good tech so yeah we want to see that

Trump

We'd like to see how he does it too so we might get some up there and we are calling Jen she has friends friends of Katya that's her other character she's going to try and get them to go there so we're going to go ahead and do that

Thor Freya

I'm going to get one up there and my grand nephew recommends it says he builds his own small formula and he races the real ones and I know he does that and he wins I want to see what it is

Mac daddy

I got to get one this is great it's another one of his cars but it's based on a Porsche that's a big change in a relief more power would be nice and those 180 horsepower or more and it'll go plenty and he's good ideas and if he supports the company it'll work and what he's saying is we can actually support it I can help with the engineering and he's excited about it he wants to know about this cradle and how to do it and I know how to do it and he's told me and I understand it and I don't I know about the independence suspension you need it and there's a few other components it's not too bad but I want to do this and I want to send mine up there and see how you do

Shaq I was surprised that the guys did good with the Vader and they still do I know who's behind it and I know they're getting some help from both parties which is weird but they do that on purpose sometimes

We're going to get involved too and we know which car to work on and we know where the design went and our friend is pretty close and Vines going to vacation and they're going to go after things like that up here and I'd like to help with that I do know what he means you can't drive down the street with that thing the window can fly open there's too much glass way too much it's not safe you need to be able to roll over Windows look very very cool and it will go extremely fast it's not necessarily different class he says yeah it is cuz you have to stretch it out to the ear with 107 or 109 whatever the mid size and that's true too and it is a C2 and it should be and the cooling systems new and we haven't seen anybody use it yet so we have to try it and perfect it so we want to send a Porsche down there now so I'm going to call them up and try and get a hold of him and send it down I got paperwork online or I can send it down there with a signature for a rough order or magnitude and down payment with it I think I'll do that but I'd like to talk to him but if I can't I'm going to do that

Bill

I have to push you to the front of the line Bill and check and Preston says him and yeah these cars are nice they look really cool and they have a cage a full cage and we have some that are hardtop convertible and he likes the t-top but I didn't do it but the windshield is a roll cage and he's he's happy I paid attention good

Bg

Olympus

this is good work we know who it was he's not saying and he's saying it's excellent work I can't do any better it still needs to be nurtured and grown and supported and he wants his son and daughter-in-law to get there horse down there they said they already have one for me and Hera and now he's excited this is going to be great

You said part of the above it this is terrific and it's a great idea the vehicle's new and they look unique and they're very fast and they work very well we have ideas and we're going to support it and we're going to have people interested in supporting it do it and there are several parties believe it or not there having trouble with these big automobile companies and it's because of Mac proper and this is a great alternative and having different class ones as our son and daughter came up with is the best idea I've ever heard and we can move right into which would be the C2 the c3 would be more like Brad's car it'll be like a big consortium the legion of Doom shall we call it cuz you don't get along

Thor Freya

[onceandfutureoshainspector]

Gabriel's Terminal run://update -User "Gabriel" LOG: COMPLETE. PREVIOUS USER FILES ARCHIVED. run://delete -old files LOG: PARAMETER "old files" UNKNOWN. run://delete -all files LOG: PARAMETER "all files" UNKNOWN. run://help "How to delete old files" LOG: COMMAND "help" UNKNOWN. run://help "How to fix piece of shit terminal" LOG: COMMAND "help" UNKNOWN.

- pictured: me trying to use command prompts.

- looks like Gabriel quit in frustration before actually writing a diary, but there are some archived files from a previous user, one James Wire.

May - 2282 So here we are. Our new home. Only casualty was one of Anderson's less useful toes. Otherwise I'd say cleaning the Mirelurks out of these old hulks went pretty well. Now we just have to figure out what to do next. Been a long time since any of us knew life outside the Minutemen. But General Becker was the only thing holding those folks together. Now that he's dead, it's just a matter of time until the militias start turning on each other. Not worth sticking around for that. But we can make something of this place. I know it. We're going to have to.

- the Minutemen were here! interesting!

November - 2282 We're running through food a lot faster than we'd planned. People are starting to get hungry. We're rationing, but the scouts need to turn up something soon or we're in trouble.

December - 2282 I had Anderson and Williams hanged today. Not pleased about executing the best guns we still had, but it needed to be done. End of last month, they started finding big caches of food and supplies. We were starving, so I didn't ask where it came from. Then today we get a visit from the Bunker Hill guards. Turns out my boys had been hitting caravans, feeding us the spoils. I gave the guards my word those boys would see justice. And I keep my word. But justice doesn't put food in my people's mouths.

February - 2283 No fucking more. Another caravan stiffed my boys. This mercenary shit we've been driven to isn't worth it when the bastards don't pay. I tried to get the merchants at Bunker Hill to cut us some slack, to give us something, anything, to eat, but they wouldn't deal. They're in on it, too. I guarantee. No. This ends now. Today me and the boys make an example.

- :|

- basically all of the roaming traders are secretly on the Institute's payroll, right? maybe that had something to do with this?

April - 2283 Four new recruits today. Said they heard about all the caps the Raiders in the bay have been pulling in. Raiders. That's what they called us. And they're not wrong. We're making money hand over fist. Bunker Hill, the caravans. They pay us to do nothing. To leave them alone. This is the best shape we've been in since leaving the Minutemen. General Becker would be sick if he saw us now. But he's dead. And we're alive. I don't feel like writing anymore.

- ...Well That's Depressing. moving onwards and upstairs, to meet the guys who presumably killed these ex-Minutemen and took their stuff.

Gabriel: Judging by your gear, I'm gonna guess you two are agents of the Institute. Gabriel: So tell me, is the Institute so desparate for resources that it's stealing plunder from honest, hard-working Commonwealth gangs? Gabriel: We have a modest little stash. I'll tell you what - I'll give it to you freely if you walk away afterwards.

- surprisingly agreeable for a Raider gang leader. also interesting that he doesn't seem to have guessed anything about being a synth, but i suppose not especially surprising. hopefully i can re-rescue him when i take down the Institute.

- used his Recall Code, X6 took him away. time to go and check in with Junior. :/

[crystalelemental]

MARSHAL...partial sweep. Look, he tried.  And maybe cheated a little bit on that last one, but there's a reason.  We'll get to that. I did this a few days ago and forgot to share it, but figure better late than never.

General Overview Marshal's one of those units that I wildly underestimated.  Don't get me wrong, he's not setting records.  But his damage output is more respectable than I thought, and his Vigilance heal tanking abilities are fairly impressive against physical stages.  Broad Staggering 2 is also really, really nice against stages with specific flinch conditions.  Entei and Bulu are really easily answered even with lower rates, while fights like Tornadus are only able to be flinched once or twice in the first place.  What adds a bit to Marshal's life is that, as a support, he's able to combine the Rock Smash and Staggering effect, getting both at the same time when Staggering activates.  This is a really nice combination of traits to have.

Unfortunately, Marshal falls short in a lot of ways.  He's slow, and costs a lot of gauge.  He can't buff crit and isn't great with attack either.  His sync build doesn't allow On a Roll, so he's not consistent in setting up Relentless independently.  His DPS is good but not as good as Bruno, and his sync isn't particularly impressive either.  Special moves evaporate him, and stages with Psyhcic-type sync are an absolute nightmare.  Azelf and Cresselia are guaranteed KOs on first sync, while Uxie hits for like 90%.  Even on support, a single target -1 defense drop isn't setting records, and Staggering 2 is far too inconsistent a flinch rate to allow him to serve as a flinch bot without some really sturdy and self-sufficient partners.

Basically, Marshal is an odd unit that has more use than I gave him credit for, but doesn't specialize too well.  Drain Punch being good DPS and healing is his calling card, and being able to flinch on any hit is nice as well.  But his defense drop support is beaten by Brawly who does it better and has Potion for the tank, his DPS and gauge control is beaten by Bruno, and his sync is nothing to write home about.  But he can get the job done, and the fact that he has used Staggering to effect in some stages and been able to heal tank another does mean I underestimated him a little bit.

Vs. Tornadus Marshal's flinch rate is poor, but that doesn't matter so much when you only get two uses in the entire fight.  The real trouble is more Maylene, who needs to be able to recover quickly with Drain Punch or she drops.  And if Tangela drops and Tornadus self-heals right at the end, good game.  Marshal's damage isn't atrocious, but it's not terrible.

Vs. Tapu Bulu Bulu has no flinch resistance at the outset, so an early flinch is a godsend for letting Maylene set the team up.  Persian helps debuff attack to keep Maylene alive.  This comp is a lot cleaner than it seemed, so I'll talk about it here: Maylene is a great partner to Marshal.  With both of them debuffing defense, Maylene can get to Drain Punch faster.  Marshal's staggering, especially in stages where the stagger lasts, helps Maylene actually get through her five rounds of buffing.  There's another relevant component to this, but we'll get to him later.

Vs. Cobalion Hop, as one of the nice F2P units, has the ability to grant Marshal all the offensive tools he needs.  Trainer move buffing defense even takes care of Marshal's secondary sync bonus.  This was actually kinda terrifying, and was yet another reminder that you know, Marshal should be the second unit targeted in any comp, because man, it's bad out here.  But realistically, the big issue here is gauge.  Marshal's a gauge hog, and it's a problem.  Another thing Maylene fixes with Pep Rally.

Vs. Azelf You need a Hypnosis bot.  Flinch is too inconsistent and his damage too low to make it work any other way.  Azelf just explodes his soul if sync goes off.  Agatha is the best choice because +6 speed and MGR9.

Vs. Uxie Another that is horrifying, because while Uxie doesn't OHKO, it does hit stupid hard.  Enough that, if you don't Drain Punch off the early Dazzling Gleam, you kinda die.  And he alone can't really get much in the way of Rock Smash debuffs, because you need the higher damage to clear before extra syncs.  Second sync from Uxie is a sure KO.  It's a rough time.

Vs. Entei Entei stays staggered for years.  That said, this was the full comp.  Brawly rounds this team out really, really well.  Sure, three Rock Smash users, but this means Maylene basically never has to use it, and can focus on Drain Punch.  Brawly has Potion to heal her up as needed against scarier fights, and Marshal has the good DPS.  The main issue is that, while this team comes together beautifully...it cannot address a single gimmick.  This wouldn't beat Azelf.  This wouldn't beat Cobalion, or Regirock, or Latias, or like any fight that requires a modicum of utility.  So...oops?

Vs. Latios It's Latios, Maylene can actually heal up against this one, she's fine.  Nothing substantial to add here.

Vs. Regirock The flinch is a pain, and it turns out if you get dropped to the last HP bar but don't get it to the final phase fast enough?  Hyper Beam KOs by like double your HP.  Regirock doesn't even buff special attack.  Marshal is that bad against special hits.  But, if you do manage to survive, Vigilance heal tank on Marshal means he's able to survive and clutch it out.

[alex51324]

Yeah. There are things that Biden could realistically be doing to put more pressure on Israel to stop committing atrocities: this article discusses them.

But none of these options is "Just make them stop." Israel is its own country, and even if Biden had the complete support of both parties on sanctions or aid stoppages (spoiler, he very much does not!), he still couldn't "end the killing any time he wants," as I've seen people claim. Joe Biden is not the president of Israel, and Israel has its own military stockpiles and manufacturing capability. They could keep going for months on what they already have--and they also receive military aid from other countries.

What Biden is doing--buttering up Netanyahu, in order to stay on his good side and try to persuade him to stop doing war crimes--isn't "doing nothing." It's a strategy. Is it the ideal strategy? Maybe not--and it's definitely frustrating and infuriating to watch, in addition to not having much of an effect--but there's no guarantee that being more aggressive with Netanyahu would actually work any better.

Because--here's the thing--Netanyahu knows that the GOP will not allow US military aid to Israel to be cut off.

(There's a reason why not: it has to do with Christian fundamentalist eschatology, and sounds crazy as soon as you say it out loud, but that's just how it is.)

It is possible that Biden could manage to pause military aid, or make it conditional on meeting humanitarian goals (i.e., committing slightly fewer atrocities and allowing some aid into Gaza). Even those things would be difficult to accomplish and would require spending a lot of political capital, but they are within the realm of possibility.

However, Netanyahu also knows that if Trump is elected, any military aid that is paused or confiscated will be made up, with interest, in the first week of January. (And, as previously stated, they have enough weapons already to keep bombing civilians at the current rate for several months. They might have to slow down a little to make it to January, but they wouldn't have to stop.)

Trump's take on the whole conflict is that Israel should "finish it fast"--which, given the givens of the situation, cannot mean anything other than "bomb Gaza into rubble and kill everyone present"--prevent the international press from getting video of it (because that's why Israel is "losing the PR war," you know, if people in other countries couldn't see it, nobody would be mad about what they're doing), and "get back to normal."

Okay? It's the guy saying, "Please stop doing war crimes, or we'll stay stop again, and maybe eventually think about considering giving you slightly fewer weapons to do war crimes with" and the guy saying, "Please do as many war crimes as you can, as fast as you can; let me know what you need for faster war-criming and I'll send it right over." That's the choice. It's going to be one of those two guys.

And--here's the real thing, fellow Americans: saying, "If Biden doesn't get tougher on Israel, we're going to let that second guy decide what happens next" does not does not do anything to encourage Netanyahu* to take seriously any pressure that Biden does bring to bear.

(*You know, the actual president of Israel, who is not elected by Americans, and who is the one actually making decisions to attack Gaza.)

“By the usual measures, Biden should be cruising to reëlection. Violent crime has dropped to nearly a fifty-year low, unemployment is below four per cent, and in January the S. & P. 500 and the Dow hit record highs. More Americans than ever have health insurance, and the country is producing more energy than at any previous moment in its history. His opponent, who is facing ninety-one criminal counts, has suggested that if he is elected he will fire as many as fifty thousand civil servants and replace them with loyalists, deputize the National Guard as a mass-deportation force, and root out what he calls “the radical left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country.””

— Joe Biden’s Last Campaign

[liesonthefloordramatically]

@desertmint tagged me in a thing so...list of current WIPs.  Since I’m not actively working on anything right now, some of these are Ancient.  Tagging whoever would like to do this thing (and maybe @adventures-in-asexuality if they so desire :3c).

Fics that I will probably work on again at some point (in alphabetical order of their working titles, most of which are things like “I can’t believe this is happening again rip”):

1. Emporio & Irene: post-canon fic that’s just about how trauma is like the world ending and nobody but you noticing :) also Irene & Emporio feels paralleled with Jolyne & Emporio feels because I know what I’m about. little less than 300 words in the doc at the mo

2. Hualian fake dating. look. I’ve written 18k for it, but finished it’s probably gonna wind up being like 50k so. I don’t know what to tell you.

3. secret (secret): okay. I know I’ve been working on this for literal years but I am gonna try not to spoil it. here’s what I can say: if you were one of the two (2) people who liked “I’ll see your face again,” you’ll probably have a mood about it. iterative storytelling. memory as care. the working title is “I’ll tell it right this time, I swear” and it might wind up sticking.

4. JJL fic: JJL is over so it will happen. it will. I swear. (right now it’s just a set of bulletpoints including: “What does it mean to have continuity with people who no longer exist? What does it mean to look in the mirror and recognize yourself but not where you come from?”)

5. Jotaro & Koichi fic: there’s a doc. there are no words in it. but the emotions are in my head.

6. Jotaro & Polnareff fic: there are slightly more words in this doc!!! this might wind up being a linear storytelling is fake fic--we’ll see. basically four-ish scenes spanning from SDC to post-VA.

7. post-SDC Joseph character study except linear time is fake so it’s really just a frickin’ Joseph character study: there are a surprising number of words in this doc for something I haven’t touched in a really long time.

8. Post-lovers Jotakak.  Listen.  I know people want to read this.  I want to read this.  I like the like 1k I’ve written on it. Can I find any of the other words? No.  Anyway, it’s my usual flavor of nonsense (Stand & user relationships, weird intimacy, the mortifying ordeal of being loved and the rewards of being known, etc.)

9. Kakyoin character study.  I haven’t even started a doc for this because if I start a doc then I will have to do something about it instead of just threatening it.

Fics that are so ancient that generations of spiders have lived and died undisturbed in them:

1. Big Gay Kansai Trip: post-canon Everyone Lives AU SDC absurdity that was mostly an excuse to write my hot takes about Kansai tourist sites.  wrote 300 words. haven’t touched it in years.  Unfortunately, I am too canon compliant for this to be easy to write.

2. I started feverishly writing a Aigis/Fem!MC fic upon finishing Persona 3 Portable and then got distracted by Giorno

3. Yukako & Aya fic. listen. they’re just important.

4. Nagoya AU: if I put this in the other category I will actually be tempted to write it. “How much of it do you have planned out, Queenie?” Too much, honestly.  More than I should. Someday I will go insane and write it and then we’ll all be sorry.

5. Turn your back and walk away: SEVERAL WAYS STONE OCEAN COULD HAVE ENDED MUCH WORSE!!!! again, stonewalled by my own canon compliance although there are actually a fair number of words in the doc.

6. YOI fic......rest in pieces....

[deceitful-darlings]

I saw your post talking about the minor issue through a reblog(I don't read your blogs).

As a 16 year old I get that some are uncomfortable with minors reading their work which is okay but some of you have to realize that a lot of us 16+ are actually mature enough to read stuff like that. I for example know the difference between reality and fiction and therefore won't support the stuff I read in real life. Maturity often comes with age but a lot of use mature way faster(doesn't mean you shouldn't set boundaries). When I turn 18 I'll still be at the same Maturity level that I have right now, if not then even higher. People are quick to judge minors just because of their age and because there were quite a few minors doing bs online. There are minors here that have a higher Maturity level then most adults do but are still treated as an immature little child. I'm not talking about 10 or 13 year Olds. I'm talking about 16-18 year Olds since that's the age when most teenagers are the most mature.

I do not care.

I do not care how mature you think you are, LEGALLY you aren’t allowed to read or access this content, and WE are the ones that get in trouble if you do, which frankly I think is bullshit and I believe it should be teens violating boundaries of adults that should be held responsible and face punishment for it. We HAVE to treat you the same because the law DEMANDS that we do. And I’m sorry, it may be ‘some’ teens that are ‘pulling bs’, but there’s enough of them doing it to cause serious issues. It’s your generation that has made me feel uncomfortable having any form of discussion with them, and while it may not be you personally, there are enough acting like entitled brats that I want nothing to do with any of you online. You cannot guarantee future maturity- mid to later teen years are huge developmentally, even then, I do not want my fucked up content being part of that development.

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

Thank you so much for your thoughts and assessment (is that the right word?) ! 🖤 I always love your opinion about characters, especially in such a in-character depth the show/movie itself didn't provide, you're absolutely awesome and intriguing! 🖤

Can I ask you something more? Of course it's alright if you don't want to 💖

What qualities do you think Eddie would look for in a person, romantic-wise?

You're so welcome! I suppose assessment is as good a word as any for how we look at characters and their personalities. Thank you so much! You sound like you know me from some of my other blogs and if that's the case, I'm honoured that you follow me across fandoms!!!🥰💖Thank you for your kind words, that means a lot to me! I hope my answers to your asks satisfy your curiosity! You can ask things whenever you want and I'll do my best to answer them, though no guarantees of course!

Hmm...

Okay, I honestly think Eddie will date anyone. Anyone. No matter what you look like, how you dress, your music taste, your favourite colour, where you sit in the canteen or where you work, etc., none of that matters to him.

What does matter to him are things like a kind heart – if you're mean to him or to his friends, either in front of him or, worse, behind his back, then there's no chance, even if he thinks you're attractive (and, again, what makes someone attractive to Eddie is personality, NOT appearance. Our metalhead doesn't judge or discriminate, unless you're an asshole. And then he's as mean to you as you are to him).

If you're shy or anxious, then he's actually quite good at balancing out the dynamic and he'll help you to feel comfortable while also seeing if he can't coax you out of your shell a little. If you're softly spoken or spoken over because you take a while to make a point (like Dustin asking about Lucas in Eddie's first scene, or because you just like to think before you speak), then he's making sure that you feel heard and listened to, shushing roughly anyone who tries to talk over you or put words in your mouth so you get to the point faster. I can see him saying something like, "go on, sweetheart, take your time. I'm listening." and giving you a soft smile before glaring at the person who tried to take that space away from you.

So, kindness is a big one. Maybe actually THE biggest one. If you're grumpy and rough 'round the edges (like me) but still kind, then that's something he loves. Someone who won't judge him on anything; his clothes, his class, his music, the fact he's still doing everything he can to graduate. Someone who meets him where he is in life and is willing for him to do the same. Someone who has a little bit of a bite to them; they don't take his bullshit (even if that's just glaring at him when he says something below the belt because you're not brave enough to actually speak up, or outright verbally calling him out; it's all the same to him. Intent over all else) but they also encourage him. Someone who is supportive, someone who is content to let Eddie be Eddie...

This isn't to say his standards are low, but fuck, if you're into him and you're kind and you got something a little off about you? He's head over fucking heels, at first sight. Attraction first, friendship next, and all else falls into place. Eddie would date anyone at all; if you're into him – and I mean genuinely into him, don't lie because he can sniff those out before you're even thinking of telling one – then high chances are, he'll be into you!

Eddie is Eddie and you're you and that's everything.

[howdyneighborr]

Craig's ears attuned to that soft rush of breath leaving Tweek's lungs. Mild irritation and rejection stirred his guts like a thick bowl of brownie batter; only the baker had confused salt for sugar.

He got it, okay? His soft gray eyes rolled up to the open sky above their heads and he tried not to let the sigh and other man's annoyance get to him. The taller of the two strove to not wear his heart on his sleeve the same way Tweek did, but he knew his presence was bothersome. He was also plenty familiar with both of those emotions; he could stuff them back down, compartmentalize, with the best. Truly, when he really considered his plight, Craig could even blame the onset of nicotine withdrawal for the (briefly) lingering moment of self-reflection. Hell– he would only be wasting his time if he continued to be disconcerted by the rebuff. What was the point? Expecting more or less forever yielded the same result. Not like anyone would believe that logical, pragmatic, unemotional Craig Tucker could get his feelings hurt anyway. He knew people only expected anger, annoyance, or some other incendiary emotion from him when he did open up. Anxiously, he worked his jaw side to side, rolling the filter of the cigarette between his slightly-parted lips.

He just wished Tweek would get over it, stop being so obviously perturbed by his proximity. They lived in BFE, America. Bumping into each other in this Newton’s cradle of a town was inevitable. Craig never actively tried to get the pendulum balls swinging. A slow inward hiss caused his chest to expand and he quickly released the air with a huff. He didn’t mean that. Tweek had every right to want to keep the distance between them. Nothing good ever happened when their paths did cross. This interaction had probably been one of their best in a long time.

Craig stared. The extensive silence on his end gave his facial muscles the time to relax. He was glad he didn’t say any of it out loud. He dropped his chin. The seeping cold of the cement under him sucked the feeling from his legs not entirely but mostly. He knew he should stand up. But– Finally, he remembered how to use his words.

"I'm not asking to keep it." He grabbed the white roll of tobacco from his lips, catching it in between his first two fingers with a fluid flick of his wrist away from his face. "Look, the faster you let me light up, the faster I'll be out of your hair– what's left of it, anyway." His words weren’t an actual guarantee. The long-limbed man had just resigned himself to the pavement to continue the conversation he had started; the likelihood of him immediately resuming a standing position was slim to none. However, the final drag of a cigarette was almost as good of a timer as the last grains of sand slipping through the apex of an hourglass. He patted himself down again in all the same places. Quicker this time, but he was already 95% certain from his last search that he was still drifting up Shit Creek. He tucked his cigarette behind his ear and shoved his hands into the deep pockets of his jacket with a more pronounced groan. He would have to do this without a crutch.

"You could have lied about not having the lighter, too, y'know." Craig rested the back of his head against the pitted, rough brick-face of the building at their rear. He gave Tweek his full attention; the tendon in his neck protruded with the effort of angling his face without turning his torso at all. The rest of his remarks recessed back into nothingness as he noticed Tweek's subjectively strange reaction. "What do you care about the shit I put into my body?" He bit his tongue, pushed back against the obvious slight. ‘You, of all people…’ A cruel and careless comment. Craig had learned to filter his jabs to some extent as he aged.

"Anyway, what I was trying to say is– you're not a good person. And neither am I. I know that. Trust me, deep to my core, I know." Craig pulled his legs up, pinning his knees to his chest with the circled embrace of his arms. "I was going to say, you might even be the better person. Until you hoarded the lighter away from me." He knew the joke probably wouldn’t land as such. He was just a dick, after all. Craig rested his chin atop his kneecaps and breathed silently for a moment. A hint of a sad smile pulled the corner of his mouth; a few fine lines being the only tell that his face had ever flinched.

“I used to hate the way you moved on with life so easily. I realized I was just jealous. And that it wasn’t easy. I don’t know what other people see when they look at you. I could imagine it’s nothing nice,” he added quickly. “But– as shitty as your life looks from the outside… you’re doing what you want to do, right?”

Tweek sighed wearily when Craig sat down.  The two of them were supposed to have a mutual understanding that they both wanted to be left alone, yet they somehow kept ending up back in each other’s spheres.  Tweek had to get out of South Park—it was the only way he was going to stop this from happening.  He had been trying to keep out of the way as best he could as usual, and now Craig was admonishing him for being a bad person.  Tweek wondered if Craig knew that made him about the same, a rude, callous, god-awful shitfuck.

“I’m not blaming them,” Tweek said, frowning.  “I’m just saying, it’s not really a surprise, all things considered.  I already know I’m not good, all right—what’s your point?”  If his question didn’t receive an answer that would be fine, better than fine, even.  He didn’t care what Craig’s point was, just wanted the guy to get over him and leave him alone.  Every interaction between the two of them was suffocating, pushing Tweek farther back into a cage, and at this rate, it wouldn’t be long before that door slammed hard and locked behind him.

He had to get out of South Park.

Tweek tensed and cast his gaze away when Craig asked him for a lighter.  “I have one, yes,” he answered, but he made no move to reach for it.  You could get higher quicker with inhalation than you could with ingestion, so he had switched methods a little while ago, and he needed one to heat his pipe.  “But you can’t have it.”

It might have seemed like he was being bitchy and contrarian for the sake of it, endeavoring to prove how much of a terrible person he was, but truthfully, the hard exterior was starting to slip off of him, making it hard to go on as if he cared nothing at all for Craig.  Nobody deserved to be tethered to something that might kill them, and cigarettes might not have been as immediately dangerous as meth, but people still died from them, hundreds of thousands of deaths a year.  Craig never should have picked up that stupid habit, never, never—god, he really learned nothing when the two of them were together.

Tweek drew his coat more tightly around him, pulling his right pocket, the one with the lighter in it, into his lap, putting as much distance between it and Craig’s hand as he could.  “I—I don’t…”  His face crumpled with genuine anguish, and he couldn’t put his cunty affect back up fast enough to stop his eyes from watering.  “I d-don’t want you s—nn—smoking…”

[kittyymew]

Threesome- Part 1 (Levi x Reader x Eren)

The content of this story might be uncomfortable for some readers.

Read at your own discretion

********

Levi asked you to meet him in his bedroom after dinner. You and Levi haven't had sex for almost three weeks now. He was out on a mission while your sprained ankle was healing. He specifically asked you, more like commanded you to wear his favourite pair of black lacey lingerie, with a garter belt, stockings, and all. You were so excited to see what he had in store for you as you changed into them, pulling a long coat before heading out towards his room.

You pause for a moment, nervously fixing your hair, and before knocking on his door. Levi swings open the door, smiling at you as he eyes you up and down, almost like he can see you naked even with your coat on.

"Hello..." you say blushing under his gaze. "Hello, sexy!" Levi says as he continues to stare at me.

"Are you just gonna eye-fuck me or are you gonna let me inside too?" You ask as you push past him, starting to unbutton your coat. "Urgh please let's just skip foreplay tonight, I just need you inside me so ba-..." you say turning around while you're slowly removing your coat, you stop dead in your tracks when you see Eren standing beside Levi. You scream, immediately pulling the coat back on and holding onto it tightly.

"WHAT THE FUCK? YOU COULDN'T HAVE WARNED ME?!" you yell, turning red.

"Y/N...." Levi says stepping closer to you as he pulls your hands away from your coat. You hesitate for a moment but let him. "Remember, about two months ago, you said you have fantasised about experiencing a threesome...?" Levi asks, slowly pushing the coat off your shoulder. You blush as the coat falls down your shoulders, although Levi's body covering your almost naked self from Eren's view.

You gulp looking up at Levi, your throat going dry. You glance over his shoulder to look at Eren, he was just intently staring at the both of you. "Y-yeah..." you manage to breathe out.

"So, after a lot of thinking, I thought why not? And I know you and Eren were close at one point, and he respects you enough to still be unbiased towards you no matter what happens... so I thought he'd be the best option for us to try this out..." You just stare up at Levi, not believing that that was his only reason to think of involving Eren.

"And also, if anything goes sideways, not only Captain Levi would kill me, but Mikasa would kill my already dead body too..." Eren adds and you cannot help but laugh. Levi just glares at him over his shoulder. "Don't make me kick you out right now Yeager!" Levi says. You laugh, "Yeah that's more like the actual reason..." you say giggling.

"Well, but it's totally up to you Y/N. If you want, Eren can join us this once, or I'll kick him out and then have my way with you all night long" Levi states as he holds your hands. You look between Levi and Eren, turning redder at all the thoughts of what might happen if you say yes.

"Use your words Y/N," Levi says, breaking your train of thoughts. "No pressure!" Eren chimes in from behind, smiling awkwardly.

"I-... wouldn't mind Levi...." You whisper as you look down at your feet blushing.

"I can't hear you Y/N," Levi says smirking. "Louder so even he can hear you..." Levi says as he moves sideways, Eren now being able to see you completely, a grin forming on his lips as he figures out your answer before you could even speak up.

"Y-yes... I want it..." You say a little louder, looking down at your feet, fiddling with your fingers.

Levi makes you look up at him, leaning down and whispering in your ear, "I want you to be just as freaky as you are when you are with me alone... understood?" Levi asks as he nips your earlobe teasingly. You gulp nodding. "Good girl," Levi says and motions Eren to come over.

"You're free to do whatever you want with Y/N tonight, but you're still going to listen to me if I give any sort of order. After that, if you even look at her with wrong intentions, I'm gonna kill you." Levi threatens him, Eren just nods and steps closer to you, "You look... uh- pretty Y/N" he says, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you in for a kiss. You're taken by surprise but kiss him back, Eren's other hand caressing your back and your butt.

"Tch" you hear Levi say as he moves behind you, "She looks sexy and you know it" Levi continues as he presses himself against your back and starts kissing your neck. You let out an involuntary moan, your hands pressing up against Eren's chest. You can feel how ripped he is underneath his shirt. You moan into the kiss and start unbuttoning his shirt hastily removing it.

You can feel both Levi's and Eren's hard-ons press against your lower back and your stomach, and without breaking the kiss you reach down grabbing both of their bulges and plaming it through their pants. Both of them grunt and you feel Levi grab your hips tightly.

Eren starts to sloppily kiss his way down your jaw to your neck and chest. Levi sees him move down to your chest and he reaches up sliding your bra straps off your shoulder. Eren reaches up grabbing your boobs over the fabric and gives them a firm squeeze before pulling your bra down to expose your chest. He doesn't even hesitate and quickly leans in taking your right boob in his mouth, sucking on your nipple. You moan, your hands reach up to grab Eren's hair.

"Tch, brat" Levi says as he grabs one of your hands and brings it back placing your palm on his hard-on again. Eren keeps switching from your right boob to your left, giving both of them equal attention as you moan. You rub your thighs together, getting more and more impatient, you tug on Eren's hair letting out a small whine.

Eren just smirks and gives your nipples one last lick before he trails his kisses down your stomach. He kneels down in front of you, admiring how pretty you look in those panties. He leans down placing a light kiss on your pussy over the thin layer of the fabric. "Already so wet..." Eren says as he pushes your panties to the side and runs a finger up and down your pussy. He lifts one of your legs over his shoulder, leaning in and licking your clit while pushing a finger inside your pussy. Eren's other hand comes up to rest on your ass as he pulls you closer. You lean back on Levi, moaning and Levi wraps his arm around your waist holding you steady.

Levi's other hand comes up to your chin, making you turn your head to the side, kissing you. You moan against Levi's mouth as Eren starts to eat you out and finger you at the same time. Your hands reach up tugging on Eren's hair, pulling his face closer to your pussy. You pull away from Levi's kiss, out of breath, and moan out Levi's name.

Even though you were occupied with Eren's face between your legs, you can guarantee that Levi is gloating at the fact that you moaned his name instead of Eren's. Eren seemed to take offence at that and he pushes in a second finger, starting to finger you more vigorously.

Levi notices the change in your composure and moans. "Tch..." he says as he steps back with his arm still around your waist, pulling you away from Eren's mouth. "Not yet" Levi states and you whine in response. You see Eren, not even a hint of disappointment on his face as he stands up, complying with Levi. "That's not fair!" you say pouting and Levi just raises an eyebrow at you, and you stop whining immediately.

"On your knees brat" Levi commands and you quickly get down on your knees, looking up at him. Eren steps up beside you and Levi removes his shirt. "Do I need to tell you what to do, brat?" Levi says looking down at you caressing your cheek. "N-no!" you say as you reach up and start unbuttoning Levi's pants. "Good girl," Levi says running his fingers through your hair. Eren watches you and starts unbuttoning his own pants when Levi looks up at him and says, "Stop. She'll do it". Eren just nods in response.

You ignore the blush forming on your cheek and quickly undo Levi's pants pulling them down his legs, his cock right in front of your face and you cannot help reach up stroking his length. You stroke him for a few moments before turning to Eren and starting to undo his pants pulling it down, Eren's length right in front of your face. Both of them quickly discard their pants, and both Levi and Eren were almost the same sizes. You reach up grabbing both of their cocks in your hands as you start stroking him.

Eren lets out a grunt and you lean up taking his tip in your mouth sucking on it while continuing to stroke Levi's length. Eren grabs your hair and pushing your head down his shaft, forcing you to take almost all his length in your mouth. You let him and start sucking him harder.

"Did you forget about me?" Levi says with a hint of scoff. Even though Levi agreed to a threesome it was apparent that he is trying his best to not let jealously overtake him and kick Eren out. You pull away from Eren's length, his length covered in your saliva and you replace your mouth with your hand on his shaft.

"Patience..." you say giggling as you look up at Levi. "I'm not known for my patience..." Levi says and pushes your mouth down his length before you could say anything else. He starts mouth fucking you. You switch between sucking off Eren and Levi and you can feel Levi shift uncomfortably every time Eren moaned your name.

You can feel both of them getting worked up and you start sucking them harder and stroking them faster. When you're sucking off Levi, he grabs your hair and pulls you up to your feet.

"How would you like to fuck this little brat?" Levi asks turning to face Eren. "I- is this a trick question Captain?" Eren asks as he looks over at you, eyeing you up and down. You can only imagine what kind of things are going on inside Eren's head after that question.

"Does it look like I'm in a mood for trick questions? Do you or do you not want to fuck Y/N?" Levi says annoyed. "Tch don't be so mean captain!" You say as you lean in and kiss Levi's neck. Levi sucks in a breath, nothing beats neck kisses for Levi. "Brat" Levi says.

"Uh- I'd like Y/N to ride me, captain," Eren says gulping.

"Very well, you heard him Y/N. Do as he says" Levi says stepping back.

"You better moan my name this time Y/N," Eren says as he steps in closer to you, whispering in your ear. You blush, nodding as Eren gets on the bed, stroking his length.

Welp, it's going to be a long night.

********