#no dean rambling this time
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hakudean mini event! first rq: cu alter by freak anon!
#fgo#fate grand order#if i add too many tags it disappears so fuck it#no dean rambling this time#fgo related#fgo cu chulainn alter#mine#my fan art#my art#fan art#art#hakudean mini event!
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*Cas anytime he remembers Dean exists*: :)
#me with my gf on a daily basis#oh yea i have a gf#*smiles*#cas does that too#he remembers he has a husband and gets excited every time#theyre adorable#and in love your honor#supernatural#spn#destiel#dean x cas#cas x dean#dean x castiel#deancas#dean winchester#castiel supernatural#castiel#cas spn#destiel headcanon#saturn rambles
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And wait what’s this hERE COMES JACKLES WITH A STEEL CHAIR
#it’s him captaining the ships this time#and I’m so confused and proud#what time line is this#holy shit#supernatural#spn#destiel#dean winchester#castiel#deancas#jensen ackles#misha collins#rach rambles#clear text#it was clear text#not subtext
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whatever they were feeding him in s1, why tf did they stop
#dean winchester#spn#spn s1#dean winchester my beloved#dean in s1 ep2 is literally the love of my life#that one wendigo episode does things to me#sam winchester#love of my life#i love him#chevy impala#his cars name is BABY cmon#dean 'best night of my life' winchester#he kills people#but hes hot so its okay#and he has a good reason#most of the time#monster#hunters#jody mills#bobby singer#idjits#em's rambles
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“oh, wow. she dumped you.” CUT! hey, jared, could you say it more sympathetic and less betrayed? no? okay, just- i guess thats fine?
but the “you loved her, and you dumped her” isnt posed as any kind of question, sam doesnt ask why, because he doesnt really care about the why, he just likes that dean had done it. then dean barely gives him a look and suddenly its “oh, wow-“ and the smile he just had is gone and sams looking like he just got told the trip to disney was cancelled over being told it was the other way around. this isnt sympathy its like jealousy mixed with curiosity idk
his tone just goes from teasing to bitter so fast, he doesnt follow dean into the car, and looks around for a second while he thinks about he feels about that. because dean has always been with women, and while it had made sam bitter ever since he was eleven and could place the feeling he got watching dean come back to the motel room covered in hickeys and scratch marks, he had gotten over it after stanford. he didnt have any right to feel that way, and realized how wrong it was he did when he was in a stable environment away from the other half of that co-dependent relationship.
now the feelings hed never addressed about dean fucking anything that is human and wears a skirt are back for the first time since he left for stanford, except this time its about a genuine romantic connection dean had. dean had loved cassie, and she left him, and he just told dean to go talk to her. had been making innuendos about them all day, even
#wincest#route 666#me basically just freaking tf out over route 666#this is so long im sorry#im basically rambling the entire time#havent pin pointed WHEN i think they happened#but ik they werent yet yk?#im rewatching s 1 😋#cassie genuinely deserved so much better than a winchester tho#dean winchester#sam winchester#samdean#sam/dean#supernatural#spn#cassie robinson
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when you're into the Big Ship™ in a Big Fandom™, you have the luxury of having an OTP - a real One True Pairing, where you can read about just them for ages, and you will never run out of fics, and everything is perfect and beautiful and nothing hurts
but when you go to a smaller fandom, you'd better pray to whatever god you worship that someone else in this room ships the same thing that you do, and that if they do, they're writing more than late-night crackfic, because you're on thin fucking ice!
and how small is your small fandom? is it less than 100 fics? maybe even...less than 20 fics?
welp, then it's time to make peace with that god and either open up a text document or learn how to ship everything, because it's swim or drown babey! and your ship is sinking fast
anyway all of this is to say that after hanging out in small fandoms and shipping less-common pairings for a while, going back into a Big Huge Fandom™ is wild because suddenly it's like...wait, why didn't I ship these people again? I don't remember. why was I only sticking to one ship in this fandom?? boring of me, honestly. these guys should make out.
#sbs rambles#fandom#fandom stuff#ao3#basically. I hung out in superwholock for so long back in the day#but then I got weird and cool and moved on to smaller and older and stranger fandoms#and decided to throw a party and have fun and enjoy all of the small and weird in those fandoms#and now rewatching media for a big fandom I'm like. huh. sucks to be everyone else I guess. they're missing out on some wild dynamics here#because I'm havin a blast#and like. when I mean small fandoms I mean SMALL#my one fic I wrote for one tv show makes up 25% of that entire fandom on ao3#(double checks)#oh!!!! new fic in the fandom!!!!#my one fic only makes up 20% of that entire fandom on ao3!!!#time to throw a fuckin party! 🎉🎈🎊🥳#anyway it's really funny because based on this some folks are going to assume what ship I'm into in a Big Fandom now#but buds. you can laugh at me#I'm thinkin about sam and cas#what's up with those guys?#fucked up actually. they should hold hands about how much they love dean#:')#but also supernatural is way more fun if you watch it out of order#that's what I've realized#now if only the RNG would give me something in season 1 or 2 T_T#also if you're at the point of reading fic on livejournal or wattpad in the year 202X you've reached ''small fandom'' status#that's the rules
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Prefacing this TGCF post with: people can draw and write however they want forever and I support them and this is about my personal view of these characters.
Anyway.
I saw a post today that had Xie Lian singing "when will my life begin" from Tangled and it drove home what really bugs me about a lot of fan casts of Hualian onto popular media (see also my Howl's Moving Castle take). It's this idea that Xie Lian is, well, waiting for his life to begin, and Hua Cheng swoops in and makes it exciting, when this is imo so utterly antithetical, and in fact opposite, to canon.
Xie Lian has lived and lived and lived. He was a prince, he fought in wars, even during his 800 years fallen the whole book is an exercise in showing that he WASN'T just waiting around, he kept doing things the whole time - Fang Xin Guoshi and General Hua and and and. AND he also cultivated to the point of ascending again. Xie Lian is a fucking bad ass idealistic martyr who doesn't know when to quit and at least to me that's the whole point of his character and I love that about and for him so to see him inserted into existing franchise AUs as the wilting flower waiting for a moment to shine is utter character erasure and it makes me insane enough that I'm writing this post about it even though I think I shouldn't and even though I genuinely don't want to rain on anyone's fandom parade. But like. That's not him!
You know who it is?
It's Hua Cheng!
Hong Hong'er lives in Xianle, a kingdom where all this stuff is happening, and he just watches from the sidelines. He's an observer at the parade. He's just some kid. And then he falls (or jumps, or is pushed, you pick your interpretation) and he's caught by literally the coolest guy in the entire kingdom. He's the nobody who gets swept off his feet! And it changes his whole life! Like I think it wouldn't irk me so much to see Xie Lian get typecast that way if Hua Cheng wasn't right there literally living his "I met God and it changed my whole life for the better" fantasy. He seriously deserves to get recognized for this. I get that he's the loud flamboyant one so that makes it seem like he should get cast as a Howl or a Flynn or whoever, but like. He was waiting for his life to begin, and it does, when he meets Xie Lian.
And like. I get that these are kinda competing interpretations that depend on when you look at canon - I'm looking at the original 800 years ago events, others are looking at Hua Cheng coming in 800 years later - but still the "present" in TGCF isn't imo about Xie Lian having waited to be saved, he hasn't been in a hat shop for his whole life boredly making hats, he's never stopped moving and never stopped adventuring and never stopped striving to change the world. Hua Cheng is living out his "you saved me now I save you" fantasies but fundamentally they save each other over and over and over again and that's beautiful and I hate seeing it erased to make Xie Lian into the wilting flower. Like. The one who basically hasn't done anything that whole 800 years is ALSO Hua Cheng. We don't hear about him going off and having idealistic adventures. Everything we know of that he's done was directly related to Xie Lian (ie burning the temples). Other than that he seems to sit around in Ghost City chilling with his ghoulies. So again, finding Xie Lian is what pulls him out of his funk and prompts him to start acting for good, whereas Xie Lian has been acting for good the whole time.
Ugh. I should shut up now, just, I've been in this fandom for four years and this has become such a pet peeve of mine because it reflects such a huge disconnect between how I perceive these characters and how much of the rest of fandom does. And that frustrates me, cause I wish there was more content in line with my perception.
#tgcf#unforth rambles#hualian#i probably shouldnt post this i really dont eant to get into it but i just sigh please more people see them the way i do im begging#disclaimer i have ALSO written xie lian as a wilting flower cause sometimes thats fun#and im sure plenty of folks do play with the blorbos both ways#but the overwhelming amount of art and takes i see puts xl in the waiting for life to begin role basically all the time#and its just so antithetical to how i see the characters#ngl this is also a factor in me not reading basically any fanfic#cause i know if i find this over and over in fanfic its going to make me murderous#just like when i was reading destiel people writing passive cas who could do no wrong and angry dean who was always at fault#made me want to burn down the internet
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We talk a lot about Dean being touch starved but what about Cas????
He went millions of years never being touched except violently in heavenly battles. Then spends 10 years getting scraps of affection only in the form of a quick ‘welcome back’ hugs, the occasional pat on the back and accidental shoulders nudges.
Cas doesn’t know the loving touch of a parents hands combing through your hair when you’re poorly. He doesn’t know what it’s like to run into the excited arms of a friend because the weekend was too long a time to not see each other. He never got to experience awkward teenage first touches like a quick peck on the lips or holding hands because you can’t bear to to be apart. Or the caring gesture of another human being delicately massaging knots out of your back to ease your suffering. No one’s ever stroked his cheek affectionately or adoringly kissed him on the forehead just because. He’s never shared a shower with a lover and had his hair washed for him and got to feel how light you feel when you’re completely taken cared of.
He’s not touched starved because he’s never been touched. He has no idea what it feels like to be loved physically. He’s dying of starvation and he has no idea because he never realised it was an option for him to be fed.
#I read an new upload from a wip I’m reading#Cas gets a back massage for the first time#and is like wow#and then I realised Cas has never experienced little touches#and it broke my heart#he is starving to death#because he never realised it was an option for him to be fed#supernatural#spn#destiel#dean winchester#castiel#cas x dean#castiel x dean#deancas#dean x castiel#my thoughts#my ramblings#hope you enjoyed
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It’s so funny to learn that other people also did not know Dean had a brother before watching Supernatural, I thought I was stupid
#i mean i still might be#but yeah i only knew there was a guy named dean and an angel named cas#i’m sure i must have seen sam at some point but forgot about him because i never saw anyone talk about him#tbf i didn’t really know much about dean ir cas either. somehow i knew more about cas than anyone#that he wears a trenchcoat and is played by misha collins. for the longest time misha collins was just some guy tumblr talks about to me#i didn’t even know that he was from supernatural. just that he was some guy#evie rambles
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This came to me in a vision.
Loosely based on this:
This comment is my favorite thing about this video because it captures perfectly how I feel towards *that* moment in the musical.
Remember kids! We live in a society!
#Heathers#Jason Dean#Veronica Sawyer#We’ve been cackling over this xD#Mayu’s ramblings#That comment is from ModernGurlz’ video on the fashion in the movie! It was really interesting!!#First time writing a description for an image… I hope it’s alright!
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what if i abandon all my projects and write a character study of dean's heteronormative lifestyle being blown to pieces by certain circumstances leading to his and lisa's divorce and then having to face the most secret sides of himself that he's known for years but long repressed. what then.
#and what if with all this sudden free time he has post-divorce he hangs out with charlie and her queer friends more#and one of those friends happens to be cas#the guy who everyone says is the nicest person in the world but won't give dean the time of day for reasons he can't figure out#what then#sam rambles
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you can't look me in the eye and tell me that seth didn't birth anubis himself like look at this???
#THATS HIS MOTHER RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!#need fics with them being mother and son to fulfill twisted incest brain //is shot#BHJREBFBJHERFBHJERBFERF#dean rambles#I DONT KNOW IM just...#im feeling weird#im craving chocolate#im emotional#i feel gross#damn is it that time of the month again#ANYWAYS yes#im probably gonna write some self indulgent stuff to feed me#and then im gonna draw#the rest of the requested art bhRBEFBREF#ennead#ennead related
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waiting for you is like waiting for the sun to rise;
inevitable,
and yet standing on that hill,
watching the moon slip behind the clouds
as the warmth peeks out to replace the silver glow,
I feel like i’m waiting alone.
#poetry#poem#destiel#dean winchester#castiel#spn#supernatural#deancas#destiel poetry#destiel poem#personal poem#just me rambling thinking about destiel and weaving it through my own consciousness#I rarely post poetry like this because I always spend ages tweaking and formatting#but today is a raw poetry kinda day#anyway love yall#not sure I’m gonna tag anyone in this because it probably isn’t any good alsjlsks#I can picture dean sitting in the cold grass of a hill watching the sun start to crest over the horizon as he waits for cas#because cas is nature#and if dean sits here and waits. cas will come back. like the sun always rises again.#except this time cas doesn’t come back. the sun rises and sets. and cas doesn’t come back.
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Anyone else ever just-
*makes an au that started out as a really vague idea*
*au starts to form more clearly as you write out the vague idea*
*you think the au is full of sillys*
*au is actually characters experiencing The Horrors with a few sillys thrown in for flavor*
*you are left to stare at your document in horror as you realize the monster that your silly little vague idea has become*
#dean talks#dean talks about writing#this is abt a supernatural/percy jackson crossover idea i had that started out as 'oh what if sally was mary's younger sister'#and has spiraled out of my control into me giving zero fucks about timelines and putting the characters thru The Horrors worse than in cano#someone should stop me.#ALSO I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT IT IF ANYONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT IT BC I FR HAVE LIKE#ALMOST 16K WORDS OF A MIXTURE OF ACTUAL WRITING AND RAMBLY FILLER/CONTEXT/OUTLINE-Y STUFF#holy fuck i havent written this much is this short a time span in a long time.#the brainworms are real#and they have taken me over for the last five days to bust this shit out and ive still got more waiting to be released#supernatural#spn#percy jackson#pjo#heroes of olympus#hoo
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Not enough writers exploring the idea of bruce retiring from batman and becoming the bats new tech guy once lucius fox dies/retires. Like, bruce is actually pretty good at coming up with new gadgets and incorporating new/alien technologies into the bat stuff so really, I think it would be really cool?? Also, he could help oracle on his free time, and I feel like this would work really well with his paranoid and controlling tendencies, and he would be thriving in a job like this. Not to mention that he would still be helping the league with strategies, research and the diplomatic stuff, so no need for him to stop working with them. And he still has his charity work as bruce wayne.
So my point is, while of course we can all agree that everything bruce does as batman is important, I wouldn't say that activelly being on the field is the most important of his tasks, especially by the time he gets old and has dozens of allies doing it with him. I mean, he already trained a lot of heroes to work in gotham and there's a few of them who are just as skilled as him, some who are even better, so really, him retiring from that and focusing on his other duties as he gets older feels very natural and a much more compelling plotline to follow than just yk killing him off and then having the batfam fight about who's gonna take the mantle (i don't even think someone needs to)
#so many writes making plotlines about batman changing and becoming something NEW and IMPROVED bc gotham changed and he's older#and bro i'm not seeing it i'm not seeing the change#drac rambles#also i just love when characters think they're gonna die fighting and never get to be old but then they survive and have the opportunitie to#enter a new chapter in their lives and really start thinking about what they wanna do now that they plan to live and have a future#<- having flashbacks about dean winchester btw#but yeah let bruce be old and thriving!#also if we could get to see both him and ghostmaker retiring at the same time#and discovering what they're gonna do now together#just like they learned how to fight and become vigilantes together#my heart would be very pleased 🥀#batman#bruce wayne
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and when i write a fic about bobby callin ellen in a panic because dean, sixteen years old, has been left by john at sonny's and there's nothing he can goddamn do. what then
#if he's sixteen little joanna beth is ten but it always feels like ellen has more experience#bobby doesn't have always the boys and he won't feel like he ain't pretendin at the throne of being their father til they're well past grow#but god worryin about dean is a full time job and looking after sam is too#because sam is twelve and angry and bobby fucking gets it because he sees the weight of his father's hands in john winchester's#and it takes everything in him to give those boys back every time he has to#he made dean stay with him for all three months of summer when he was seventeen and didn't let him go on a hunt once#when dean dropped out right after his eighteenth birthday it was like a kick in the chest#ellen rufus bobby and missouri are so important to me. i have so much to say on the matter#bobby singer#mer rambles
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