#no context filipino angst

[soiers]

> tama na ba?

a. should i stop? b. is it right?

[feelo-fick]

miscellaneous au doodles + a VERY self indulgent song lyric comic :D

+ extra evil comic below the cut :

"chil!" "don't look at me like that..."

[sanvcnblvd]

[pañuelo melody] by acastle

[pañuelo melody] by acastle

There are aspects about this story that really hit home for me. (Forgive me, I'm dumping a lot of feelings without proofreading–I'm probably rambling).

There is a running theme of hidden connections and destiny that acastle wrote in their fic. It may just be headcanon, but afaik Casey has mentioned that Alex and Henry are destined to be together in any universe, this fic really drives that idea home.

Mild spoilers below, but acastle referenced Utada Hikaru in their story multiple times, and I grew up listening to them (HUGE Kingdom Hearts fan here). The feeling I had when acastle referenced one of their songs–through the opening lyrics that I recognized (First Love by Utada Hikaru) , I literally went "nooooooo wayyyyyyyy.......???!!!!"

And then acastle referenced Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence by Ryuichi Sakamoto (amazing piano instrumental written for the movie of the same name). Utada also wrote a song and sampled Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence (also same title). I wish I could truly describe when all the pieces connected together, it was like greeting an old friend. It was also like getting hit by a truck. It was all very overwhelming (I may or may not have started tearing up writing this portion.)

This story takes place in winter in Japan, and it's chilly, and icy, and the angst is dialled up to eleven, but like with all of acastle's stories, there is so much love.

The main inspiration for this cover is Japanese artist Ikenaga Yasunari (examples below). I wanted to replicate the vibe, but I opted for more colour. I was also inspired by traditional Japanese paintings, especially with how soft and delicate snow is often painted.

I chose the promotional image of Alex and Henry in the V&A as the pose. I had initially planned to have Alex and Henry walking in the Higashiyama Ward at night (location described in the fic) , illuminated by streetlights and joined by the red string of fate, but it didn't materialize.

The Japanese in the front translates literally to "Handkerchief melody – hankachi and 旋律 (Kanji for melody/tune). Handkerchief from pañuelo (the Spanish meaning, not Filipino ) references the one that Alex uses to wipe his mouth as a child before giving his relatives a kiss on the cheek. It is also the title of the song Alex writes and releases before running away to Japan.

The characters in the corner is 禁色 is from the novel that Henry read that inspired his work trip to Japan. Context is in the story. It's very poignant and melancholic.

Thank you so much to Louie (@hrhprinceacd on Twitter) for helping me with the Japanese title, and for @ash-morrison for blind-choosing this cover to release from my vault.

Just adding that the gingko branch background is from an adobe stock photo that I didn't really want to pay for so I designed my own version from scratch (original reference below).

The full poster that can be added to the .epub file for your kindle/e-book reader is at the end of the post! If you need any assistance, please don't be afraid to ask!

[prodigal-explorer]

my roleplay information/application!

hey guyssss, so like i'm kinda desperate for rp partners so i'm just gonna try my luck here and see if any of y'all are interested in rping with me! feel free to read through this information and message me if you are interested!! as long as you meet my requirements, i would love to rp with you!!

basic information

i am 18 (19 in a few weeks) and i'm okay rping with any age, but i will not rp anything relating to nsfw with a minor. not even implied nsfw, it's just very uncomfortable. but if you're 18+, i'll rp anything on this list with you!

i only rp semi-lit/descriptive. this means at least five sentences, detailed responses that aren't just surface level. it's hard to respond to stuff that's lazy, so please please please just put in the effort if you want high quality responses in return!

the fandoms i roleplay are sanders sides, undertale, your turn to die, and omori. i dabble in oc rp, but it's not very common for me since i don't really have many ocs that i like enough to rp with.

my favorite types of roleplay are heavy angst and whump. i love really dark concepts, and it's rare that i won't do something that's dark and angsty. i struggle with concepts that are just fluff because i prefer rps with a lot of conflict and struggle.

my only triggers are constant discussion about body type/comparing body types and descriptive talk of medical needles. other than that i will do literally anything lol.

i am filipino-american, audhd, physically disabled, and i love to incorporate these aspects of my identity into the characters i play. if you don't like that, we probably won't make very good rp partners.

i hate hate HATE poking. please don't remind me of the rp after ten minutes of me not responding. please don't remind me of the rp after ten HOURS of me not responding. i know it exists, i just need time to reply. if you nag me about responding, i probably will wait even longer to reply because it's intimidating.

i love to chat oorp! feel free to leave a silly message, even if it has nothing to do with rp!

scroll all the way to the bottom of the post if you want to see writing examples!! below are just specific tidbits of information pertaining to each fandom i rp!

sanders sides specific information

the main side i love to play is roman. i will always want to play roman in every single tss rp, he's just me, he's my number one homie, my favorite character of all time.

i can also play any of the other sides, but my characterization for them is not as solid as roman.

i don't really like patton in roleplays unless he's a minor character or an antagonist/villain. i am very good at playing patton as a villain, but i don't really like playing him in any other context. i have so many aus where patton is a villain or antagonist, so if that's your jam, you've come to the right place!

i will do mindscape or human aus, i love both!

i am okay with ocs but i will not do canon side x female oc. it just makes me very uncomfortable to ship sides with female characters.

some of my favorite ships are roceit, prinxiety, logince, anaroceit, analogical, intrulogical, and loceit.

the only ships i WILL NOT do are moxiety, royality, moceit, logicality, intruality, and remrom. every other ship, i'm completely okay with.

i love rping as remy or emile picani!!

i have SO MANY IDEAS for this fandom. like literally hundreds of aus. so please message me if you want to rp anything with angst, or drama, or anything like that because i have SO MUCH.

undertale specific information

so fun fact i'm actually kind of bad at undertale rp.

it's not that i'm awful i just don't have a lot of experience, but i'm working on it!

the main characters i like to play are papyrus, undyne, alphys, toriel, asgore, and gaster.

i can also play asriel/flowey, sans, frisk, mettaton, grillby, and chara if necessary.

i am totally fine with ocs, bring them on!

i don't really like rps with the au sans stuff? nothing against it, i just don't really know much about it and in the nicest way possible i don't really care. i prefer to stick with canon and prequel/sequel aus instead of aus that change up the characters' personalities and stuff.

my favorite undertale au of all time is handplates i have so many thoughts about it and i would love to rp it!

i love angsty rps but undertale is actually one of the only fandoms where i love to rp fluff for it. undertale is just such a goofy game and i love emulating that style of humor in rp!

ships i enjoy are soriel, papyton, alphyne, sansby, and whatever the ship name for alphys x gaster is?

the only undertale ships i WILL NOT rp are anything involving the child characters (frisk, chara, asriel, monster kid), and anything that ships undyne with a guy. i'm also not a huge fan of asgore x toriel but i'll do it if you really want me to!

your turn to die specific information

i am so new to rping in this fandom but i really want to anyway!! trust, i know all the lore, i just need some solid experience!

my favorite characters to play are jou, reko, nao, gin, kai, shin, hiyori, and sara.

i will play q-taro, mishima, or alice if necessary!

i am very bad at keiji, i don't think i can play him well.

i love canon and au roleplays equally! i would love to do either way!

i like pretty much all the ships, it would be easier to list ships i don't like.

i don't like any ships that involve the little kids (kanna, gin, hinako), any ships with a huge age gap (especially sara x keiji), and shin x hiyori. it's just...no.

omori specific information

i am very new to the fandom, so please have mercy on me if i get something wrong lol!

my favorite characters to play are kel, hero, aubrey, and mari!

i can play sunny if necessary.

i will not play basil. i actually don't like basil being present in roleplays, he's just a character i personally dislike. i'm fine with him showing up occasionally as a minor character, but i just don't like him being a big part of roleplays.

i will roleplay canon and aus! i love both! but bear in mind i am a bit more hesitant to rp ships in canon, but in aus i have zero reservations!

my favorite ships are anything involving sunny, kel, and aubrey being together, but my number one otp is hero x mari!

the only ships i WILL NOT do are ships that have basil in them, especially basil x sunny or basil x kel. they just don't sit right with me personally.

i don't really know much about the minor characters of the game...i might need a bit of guidance if you want to use a character that isn't a part of the main six! but i am completely fine with it as long as you're okay with me being a bit clueless.

writing samples!!!

The streets were soft, the dusty sidewalks concealed by powdery snow that made Brooklyn look like a wedding. Roman stepped lightly, wondering how high he would have to hold himself to keep his foot from sinking in the snow, ruining the shiny white blanket that protected his bare feet from the cruel asphalt.

His book remained tucked under his jacket, as if it needed protection from the biting wind. Roman didn’t think it was possible for something that carried such beautiful notions and ideas to be unfeeling, so he acted as though there was a beating heart somewhere between the pages. Nobody had ever told him there wasn’t one, so what was the harm in believing if it made the sky feel brighter, and the air feel warmer, and the world feel more connected?

When he came back to the small, tucked-away alley that he and his brothers were currently living in, he was happy to see a little fire that he could warm himself beside while he opened his new book, aching to see what was inside.

--

"Protect...me?"

Roman was unfamiliar. He was always used to protecting other people. He was tall, graceful and beautiful. Couldn't really throw a punch, but he had a way with his words that could get him absolutely anything he wanted. Including peace. He was used to standing between bullies and victims, seducing with his sweet smile and long eyelashes. Making anybody feel like they've been blessed just looking at him. With his parents always gone, and nobody to hold him during nightmares, Roman had gotten used to holding himself. But now, he just wanted to be protected so badly. He wanted to be truly loved by somebody besides himself.

"Okay..." he whispered, "Okay."

--

"Oh! Do you guys want to go to that restaurant across the street?" Patton asked, "We performed so well tonight, I think we all deserve a treat! Virgil, you hit that syncopation perfectly, and Janus, that riff was amazing! The crowd went wild for us! Drinks will be on me, as long as you all promise not to drink too much. I'll be the designated driver too. What do you say??"

Of course, this invitation was not extended to Logan. Patton didn't even notice Logan in the area, assuming that he was off sweeping the stage or packing up the van. Patton was the one who decided what everybody did, and he usually gave Logan the grease-work like that. He didn't really care very much about Logan, just because Logan wasn't as close to the group. There wasn't that bond of performing show after show, having fans that requested autographs, being followed and gushed over by paparazzi.

Since Logan was never onstage, nobody knew the face or identity of the man who wrote the songs that all these fans were so crazy about. And Patton sort of preferred it that way. He didn't really like the idea of Logan being a face of their band. Unlike Janus and Virgil, Patton wasn't sure how the public eye would recieve Logan. The man wasn't remotely ugly, but he was rather plain-looking. He tended to blend into the background of the rooms he occupied. He wasn't the type of look one would expect to be in a hugely successful band.

All the others had their "niche". Patton was the sweetheart, the nice one, the innocent one. Virgil was the quiet, brooding, mysterious one. And Janus was the charmer, able to seduce anyone with a wink and a smile. What was Logan? He didn't talk very much, he wasn't particularly nice, brooding, or seductive. Patton didn't like that Logan didn't exactly have an archetype. He didn't quite fit in.

--

Roman tilted his head with a polite smile and an appropriate amount of interest as Logan disclosed his name. It was nothing familiar to him, but he did think it was a beautiful-sounding name. He always loved when people's first and last names started with the same letter. It felt like a name out of a fairy-tale when it had that feature.

Listening to what Logan was saying, Roman couldn't help but go red, very embarrassed. He was bad at English, but he certainly wasn't stupid. He could tell that Logan was euphemizing heavily in order to preserve Roman's feelings, which made Roman both embarrassed that Logan felt the need to do this, and honored that Logan cared so much about how he felt. It was a really sweet gesture, honestly.

"You write music too?" he asked, very curious. "I would love to sing a song by you wrote. You will...pay me? Money?"

Roman wondered if Logan was offering him a job, or just wanting to have a jam session as friends and colleagues. He would be happy with either option, but he wanted to manage his expectations there and then, so there would be less awkwardness from false assumptions.

--

Roman looked at it and smiled as he read through the lyrics, his eyes carefully scanning from left to right as he ingested each lyric. His smile only grew.

"It is okay," he said, "I like messy handwriting. It means...it means your brain moves fast, and your hand must hurry to follow. I like this song. I think...I want to sing it. Do you want me to sing here? In front of everyone?"

Roman would definitely be willing to give Logan's song some publicity. And he adored the thrill of singing a song for the first time in front of a whole crowd of people. Roman wasn't the type to get stage fright. The more risky a performance was, the more excited he was to try and execute it. Roman had a bit of a shame deficiency, such was obvious with him singing those lyrics he wrote out loud multiple times.

His eyes were shining with enthusiasm, but also, with gratitude. He was thankful to Logan for the opportunity he had to bring this song to life, this brand new song that no one had ever heard before. The idea that its first breath of auditory life would be coming from Roman's own voice was so romantic that it almost made Roman want to sing it right there and then so he wouldn't have to wait anymore.

[xxfromthestartxx]

Part 2 of new recruit plssss

Troubleshooting (Miguel O'hara) (Part 2 of New Recruit?)

pairings: Miguel O'Hara x Filipino F! Reaser

summary: You've been in the spider society for quite a while now. Having a complicated situationship with Miguel led you to facing consequences and having a hard time to decide. What will happen if you have to choose between him or saving the kids?

warnings: angst(?), MAJOR ATSV SPOILERS‼️, PTSD, very inaccurate description of PTSD because I can't explain the feeling(?), suggestive(?) in some way

a/n: I was actually having a hard time thinking of a title for this one but no worries, you'll get a context once you've finished the story!!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 (COMING SOON)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That was almost a year ago, now, you're officially part of the spider society, fighting and attending missions that were assigned by Miguel.

Right now, you were fighting an anomaly in an alternate universe, swinging around the city as you shot webs into the anomaly's body. You smiled at your work, his body barely noticeable because of the webs you've shot to his body.

You smiled at your work before throwing him the device Miguel had given you, just then your watch beeped. A hologram of Jess popped up and you immediately greeted her.

"Hey, Jess." You greeted with a smile, "What's up?" You asked, "A universe is collapsing, I would appreciate it if you go right now. I sent you the location." She replied, her voice firm.

"What?" Your eyes widened and nod, "Got it." You quickly opened the portal to the location and went running.

You walked out of the portal, examining what's happening. "Jess!" You called out the pregnant woman. "What the hell happened?"

"They interrupted a canon event." Her gaze fell on the group of four. You immediately recognized them. "Miles?" Your eyes widened at the realization, "Lagot kayo kay Miguel." (You guys are busted.)

"That's what I was saying." Jess said, "Y/n?" Miles asked, looking over to Gwen. "Even Y/n is part of the spider society?“ he asked her, his mask squinting.

You looked at Gwen before looking at Miles, then to the rest of the group of Spiderpeople who were examining the collapsing universe. "Tangina," you cursed, sighing before looking at Jess. (Son of a bitch,)

"What did the boss say?" You asked her, "He wants Miles on HQ, with Gwen." Jess said. "You know you shouldn't move around too much, you have a baby with you." You gestured at her, then her stomach.

"Care to go with them? I know Miguel would go nuts to them so I really would appreciate if you come." She said, the two spiderteens still staring at the both of you conversing.

"Sure, not like I have a choice." You said with a small smile, "I got it from here." You nod once then turned to the teens. "What the hell did you do?

"It was an accident, he didn't know." Gwen defended Miles, "Goodluck saying that to boss man." You huffed, "You know he's been grumpy these days." You continued, recalling the last time the two of you fought, it ended up being nasty.

"I know, but please? Try to talk to him?“ Gwen pleaded, putting both hands together. "I'll try, now, come on, Miles. We need to go there." You ushered the boy, creating a portal to the HQ.

.

.

.

The four of you entered Miguel's Office, Hobie in tow while Gwen and Miles were right behind you. "This will freak him out, honestly." You muttered to yourself.

"Kalmahan mo beh, okay lang 'to." You tried to reassure yourself, picking at your hands. The voices of the others became more distant as it was replaced by buzzing sounds. (Calm down, it's going to be okay.)

This always happens to you when you're overwhelmed, even before you turned into Spider-woman. You were pulled out of your trance when Gwen called you out, poking your arms.

"Hey, you good?" She asked, worry filled her eyes. "Yep, totally." You were trying your best to be nonchalant about it but it's hard when you know something bad will happen.

As the 4 of you reach Miguel's office you notice Hobie stealing something, a curious glint in your eyes. You slowed down and let Miles and Gwen take the lead.

You walked with Hobie, flashing him a small smile. You let the hologram near your thigh disappear for a second, revealing your shorts. You reached something from your pocket and gave it to him. You placed your finger in your lips and smiled. He gave a smirk and nodded.

You covered yourself with the hologram once again, catching up to Gwen and Miles. Once the 3 of you entered the room, you let out a small cough. He didn't say anything until Miles looked at Gwen and was about to say something when Gwen stopped him.

"Yeah, I know it's long, but it's his thing." Gwen said and you could only shrug. "Miguel O'hara, meet Miles Morales." Gwen gestured to Miles. Miles chuckled and raised his hands. "Aye, que tal, tió!" He shrugged, "What? I speak Spanish." (How are you, uncle!)

You cringed at him before he brought out an empanada box. "Te treja... Una empanada-" he didn't get the chance to finish his sentence when Miguel used his web to grab the box. He looked at the group and said, "Que maravilla." (I brought you an empanada-) (Wonderful.)

He dropped the box and made eye contact with you. You raised your eyebrows before Miles' voice was muffled by your own thoughts. You were pulled out by your thoughts when your spider senses went off.

You quickly caught it with one hand while Miles duck. "He's worried about the Spot." He started, "I'll worry about the Spot." You clutched what he threw before dropping it, leaving a dent on the metal.

"What did I do?" Miles asked, still kneeling. "Miguel, it's not his fault." Gwen defended Miles, "Fault? Hold up." He stood up, looking at Gwen. "You blew another hole in the multiverse!" Miguel exclaimed.

"He doesn't know better." Gwen replied, "I do know- what- not know..." You narrowed your eyes on the conversation. "But you did, Gwen." Gwen closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "And you," he turned to Hobie who was chilling.

"I'm just trying to ignore you." He turned his back before facing Hobie once again, "I just can't." You sighed before he repeated his words at the same time Hobie said, "I ain't even here." While laying down.

"Okay, that's enough." You stepped in, "Aren't you supposed to be on a mission?" Miguel crossed his arms at you. "I finished the mission early." You copied his actions, crossing your arms across your chest and looking up at him with a frown.

"Then you're dismissed." The tension was getting thicker and thicker and you could only scoff. "I'm not leaving these kids with you, you threw a metal at Miles!“ you squint your eyes at him. "What's happening?" Miles asked Gwen who only shrugged.

"Hey, Miguel! Come on, go easy on the kid. He had a terrible teacher." Peter B. came out of the shadows before sticking with one hand into the ceiling. He brushed off some bits of his food before talking. All of you turned to see him and you immediately smiled. Miguel noticed it and scowled.

"He had no chance." Peter chuckled, "Peter," Miles greeted, Gwen in tow. "Oh boy, humbling reality Spiderman has arrived." You chuckled at Hobie's words before shaking your head whilst Miles approached Peter with a hug. "Miles!" Peter greeted, "Dude!" The two of them hugged and you turned to look at Miguel.

Peter pulled away from the hug before placing both his hands on Miles' shoulders. "Don't be afraid of my friend Miguel, he just looks scary. He's got no bite." He reassured the child, you rolled your eyes before mumbling, "Oh trust me, he bites, alright."

"Peter." Miguel growled before turning his back. As Peter and Miles continued to talk, you took a look at your watch before texting your best friend that you might be home late and they might have to do the patrol by themselves.

You were interrupted when Mayday swung by you, babbling about something. She started crawling up, still babbling while Miles and Peter were still talking. "Mayday!" You smiled brightly at her before shooting a web next to her, landing right beside her.

"Hey, baby." You smiled, as she makes grabby hand to you. You carried her and cradled her to your chest before jumping down. "Who's Auntie Y/n's favorite niece?" You asked in a baby voice, poking her nose as she giggled. "Yes, you are." The both of you giggled while you pressed kisses on her face.

You pulled back, still smiling before she webbed her way to Miguel. You narrowed your eyes at her before she crawled at Miguel, sitting by his shoulder. She made grabby hands at you, and you sighed. You made your way beside Miguel, grabbing Mayday once again.

"You know a lot, young lady." You whispered to her, squinting your eyes before she blew raspberries at you, escaping your grasp and crawling at Miguel once again. Peter made his way beside Miguel, showing off pictures of Mayday casually. "Miguel, look at this one." He showed it to you before you got close and started complimenting the baby.

"Aw, Mayday is such a cutie! Ang sarap pisilin!" You squealed, putting both hands on your face. "I'm trying to hold a serious, adult conversation." Miguel replied, pushing you away from Peter. (I want to squeeze her!)

"Anyway, Y/n, one of the Peter's was looking for you, don't know why but he said it was important." Peter shrugged and looked at Miguel, waiting for his reaction. "Oh? Where?" You asked, tilting your head. "Cafeteria." He simply said.

"Alright." You shrugged before jumping down the platform. "I'm leaving the kids to you." You called out to Peter, walking away. Before you completely leave the area you stopped, pausing for a second before looking at Miguel. "Oh, and Miguel?"

He grunted, raising his eyebrows. "You left something in my apartment." You then walked away, leaving the scene completely. Miguel's face felt hot as Peter and others looked at him. "What?" Miles asked Gwen, looking at her with a confused face. Gwen shrugged at him before turning to Hobie.

Hobie smirked and shrugged, looking at Miguel. "What does she mean by that?" Peter was stunned to say the least. Miguel brushed him off before clearing his throat, regaining his composure and speaking once again.

"Not a word."

.

.

.

It's not even half an hour when your spider senses went off, you excused yourself from the Peter who was looking for you and went to Miguel's office quickly, webbing yourself up and dodging the other spiderpeople.

"Shit, shit, shit." You repeated those words again and again. You made your way and found that there were a lot of Spiderpeople in the area. You squeezed through them to find Miles, Gwen, Peter, Jess, and Miguel in the middle.

Miguel captured Miles into one of the electromagnetic fields and everyone erupted into chaos. "Miles!" You called out, everyone turning to you. "Miguel, what the hell?" You reached for Miles but was stopped by a web.

"Peter?" You questioned him, looking at him. You easily broke the webbing and turned to Miguel. "He can't go back and it'll be safer if he's here." He said to no one in particular. "You can't just cage him!" Gwen exclaimed.

You glanced at Hobie, seeing how he was coaching Miles. "It's better this way, kid." Miguel replied to Gwen. "I said, don't call me that." Miles said before he broke the field, leaving everyone stunned. You smiled, proud of him for his power.

Miles realized these and looked at his fingers before he made eye contact with Miguel. He immediately ran away, you watched as Miguel ran after him, your heart dropping at the scene. "Tangina," you cursed before it all went ballistic. (Son of a bitch.)

.

.

.

You didn't participate in the catch, preparing something while you pray for Miles to escape Miguel's wrath. You knew how bad it can be and how harsh Miguel could be. You are one to witness those things.

The next thing you knew, you were in the go-home machine because your spider senses told you to. You walked towards Spider-byte and waved your hand.

"Hey." You greeted too casually for your own liking. "'Sup? You didn't go?" She asked, referring to the chase. "I'm pretty sure most of the spider society is there, it won't hurt to miss one." You shrugged, examining the screens.

Your spider senses went off again, looking around for something but you can't see it. On the other hand, Miles was sneaking in, pressing buttons as fast as he could. That alerted both you and Spider-byte; the both of you looked at each other before she went to work. You purse your lips before helping her, trying to cancel the working machine.

Strings of curses were heard from the both of you, still trying to stop the machine. Out of nowhere, Lyla appeared and started helping the both of you. Spider-byte started duplicating herself and you could feel that someone was approaching.

It was a flash, one minute you were trying to get the go-home machine and the next minute you were watching in horror as Miguel tried to get Miles out of the machine. He was using his brute force, you glanced at Spider-byte who was thinking twice if she should help him. You didn't think about it and shot a web into the screen, sending Miles back into his universe.

"NO!" Miguel exclaimed, his breaths heavy and ragged. The robot beside him looked like it was tilting its head. Miguel ripped it off and you bit your lip in anticipation. He turned to look at you and you froze on the spot. "What was that?!" You flinched at his booming voice, pulling you back into reality.

"Where were you?!" He demanded, but you stayed silent. "All he had to do was listen!" He shouted, "Why didn't he listen?" He asked, turning his back to everyone. "Maybe you weren't hard enough on him!" Gwen tried to reason but Jess murmured. "Gwen, don't do it."

"You let him go, you didn't catch him, Gwen."

"Me?"

"Okaay- let's just all take a deep breath-"

"Peter, you want to back me up?"

"Well, okay, Miguel. As a father of a daughter and a son of a mother-"

"Yeah, actually, stop talking."

"Okay, duly noted."

Your brain was melting, you were this close to hyperventilating but you kept it together, it didn't help that the useless exchange of words were making you want to bury yourself in a hole. "Let me just talk to him.“

Gwen tried to walk towards the go-home machine but Miguel webbed his way to Gwen, towering her. "We tried that." Miguel said, walking towards you while Gwen backed up, "He's my friend."

"Yeah, that's the problem. And you," he stopped in front of you. Your composure never faltered, standing up straight. "You let him escape too." His voice was rough, it makes you want to scratch the hell out of his throat. "You didn't catch him either."

"You weren't even there." He raised his voice, "There were thousands of Spiderpeople who were chasing Miles with you, one Spider-woman isn't a big of a deal!" He stayed silent, glaring at you before Gwen spoke up.

"Do you know for a certain what happens if he breaks the canon?" At this point, she was behind Miguel. Miguel turned to her and started walking. "Do you want to find out?" He asked, "I told you she was a liability."

You clench your fists at his words, trying to calm down. "You're wrong. Jess, tell him his wrong." Gwen's voice and tone made your heart crack. Jess sighed, "He's not." She replied, making you seeth in anger, but this wasn't your fight, you knew what they talked about, and it breaks your heart that you couldn't do anything about it.

"Are you serious right now?" Gwen asked, looking at Jess. "I told you. You let him get away. I can't help you." Jess shrugged, holding her belly. "Y/n, please, tell him." She begged you. Your heart ached and you tried to reach for Miguel but Peter stopped you.

"Miguel, that's enough." You tried but he ignored you. "I'm not coming." Gwen said stubbornly as the claws of the go-home machine reached for her. "You're right." Miguel said coldly. You realized what was happening and you immediately pushed Peter out of the way.

"What?" Gwen was then grabbed by the machine, "Wait! Miguel, stop it!" You shouted, but Jess blocked you. "What the hell?!" Gwen raised her voice, struggling because of the machine. You gently pushed Jess away, not harming her baby on any way. You tried to web your way into the controls but Miguel webbed you first. "Miguel! Let her go!" 

"Go home, Gwen." You got out of his web, running to the machine while panicking before she begged for you. "Please, Y/n! Help me out here! Please! I need to talk to Miles!“ you purse your lips, trying your best but it was no use, Miguel had taken over the machine and it was final.

"We are supposed to be the good guys." Those were her last words before she was sent home. You dropped both of your fists into the control and groaned, hitting it on repeat. You knelt down, tears forming in your eyes. There was a silent pause, everyone was silent and you were too. "We are." You heard Miguel say, "We are the good guys."

You stood up, wiping away your tears. "Jess, prepare for a mission. And you too, Ben." Miguel ordered, walking towards you. "And you, you are out." Miguel towered over you, "So, that's it, huh? Alright, suit yourself." You removed your watch, throwing it at him. You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head.

"That's it? That's how easy it is for you, huh? Of course it's easy for you. I was nothing for you in the first place. There's thousands of other variant of me and you've made that pretty clear." Miguel furrowed his brows at you, looking around before grabbing your wrist and pulling you away. "Stop." You tried to get away from him but his grip is strong. You're sure it will leave a bruise.

"Let me go, tangina ka." (You son of a bitch.) You pulled away, still struggling at his grip. "Hayop ka, bitaw sabi!" (You asshole, I said let go!) You push him away, but he just dragged you into somewhere private. "Puta ka! San mo 'ko dadalhin?! Bitawan mo ako! Pagkatapos mo ako paalisin sa grupo!".(You bitch! Where are you going to take me?! Let me go! After you kick me out of the group!)

"I can't understand you." Miguel groaned when you slapped him. "Wag mo ko ma-english english, ah!" You pulled your wrist away, massaging it before glaring at him. "What the hell do you want me to do, speak Spanish to you?" (Don't talk to me in english, ah!)

"Open a portal back to my universe." You demanded and he looked at you in the eyes. "You can't just tell everyone that and expect me to open a portal for you to go home."

"You wanted me out of the group, and I'm fine with it." You lied, gripping your wrist tighter. "What you said earlier." Miguel disregarded your last words, bringing the conversation about earlier. This wasn't his priority, he should've been on a mission right now, taking care of what Miles did but here he is, clearing up things with you.

"What? That I'm nothing to you? Didn't you make it clear? 'I could've picked any variant of you.' then you should've picked someone else!" You spat, glaring at him. "What?" Miguel narrowed his eyes. "Stop, please. Just bring me home so we can end this." You sighed, eager to go home so you could at least take a break for a moment.

"I'm not bringing you home until you clarify what you meant." Yes, you were stubborn but so is he. "Let it go, Miguel. I don't want to fight with you anymore, please." You ran your fingers to your hair, your heart beating fast.

"We agreed that there were no strings attached." That made your heart race and crack, you felt it drop to the floor. You sighed, not ready for this kind of talk. "There is no string. Now just let me go and you can chase Miles throughout the multiverse."

"I don't understand." Miguel said, running his hands on his face. "What more do you want me to say? That our whole situationship is nothing to you, that you just used me to get off, that this whole arrangement is a fucking regret to you?! You already told me that! You don't need to tell me again. You've made it clear when you were drunk. Now bring me back home or I'll use the go-home machine."

Miguel's eyes widened at your outburst but he easily regained composure. He walked towards you and you backed up, shaking your head. "Stay away." Your voice was shaky, you didn't know what you were doing, but it was just like a natural response to back away from him.

Miguel noticed the fear in your eyes and stopped, he didn't know why but he did. He didn't recognize it at first, it was foreign in your eyes, you never looked at him like that in a way and it shocked him. It made his heart stop for a moment. "Don't... Just don't come near me." You breathed out, shaky hands now noticed by Miguel.

"What?“ he tried to reach you but you flinched. He retracted his hands and looked at you with confusion. "Y/n..." His voice sounded so foreign to you, it was like this was the first time you met him. It was your brain's natural response to shut down everything when something bad happens.

Miguel looked at you with a mix of emotions, some unknown even for him. You looked so scared of... Him. You looked so frightened, so alarmed of him. "Get me home," you whispered, your voice still shaky. "I'm not-"

"Get me home!" You snapped, quickly putting a hand on your mouth before shaking your head. You didn't mean to raise your voice, your eyes widened and you slowly backed away. You gripped your necklace tighter on the other hand, ready to unleash whatever you can to just go home.

"Please, Miguel. I don't want to talk to you anymore, bring me back home." You were tearing up, tears making their way down your cheek. "Just, please." You were in the middle of a panic attack, your PTSD triggering your senses.

Miguel didn't know what to do, neither what to say. He could hear your heart beating too fast for your own good. He tried to reach for you but you backed away once again. "Y/n, calm down.

You couldn't, it was like it was happening once again. It was the same position as this and it was too much for you. You blinked, trying to calm down. "Shit," you cursed, facing your back at him before running to the go-home machine.

"Hey! Get back here! We're not done talking!" Miguel called out, chasing after you. You feel like your knees are giving up on you and your vision is getting blurry by the second. You shot a web for you to swing but It was too late, you lifted yourself up and realized your mistake. Your body fluids isn't in it's normal rates, in short, your webs aren't coming out of you. "Tangina." (Son of a bitch.)

Your arms felt like jelly, flailing around you. You tried to shoot webs everywhere just to catch yourself but no webs were coming out and you are falling at an alarming rate. You could feel the panic settling in your chest, and you thought twice before unleashing him. "Wait lang, shet." (Just wait for a moment, shit.)

The sight of a silhouette made your eyes shrink, you once again, tried to shoot webs from your wrist but the panic was messing with you. Messing with your brain. You tried and tried and tried but no webs were coming out of you. The silhouette was getting closer, too close for you. "Gago, Lord, hindi pa po ako ready." (Lord, I'm not ready yet.)

They grabbed you, securing you with their hands on your waist and the other to web the both of you up. You felt so light, you couldn't make up the world because of the stress. It was like you have a hangover from one of the nights you drank with your friends. "Buhay pa naman ata ako, noh?" (I'm still alive, right?)

You let out a slurred "Thank you" to the stranger before everything went black to you. The grip of your waist tightened, scared that if they let go, you'll fall. They settled you on the floor before calling for the med-bay to prepare for a patient.

Miguel let out a huff, fixing your hair to the side to get a better view of you. "What the hell were you thinking?!" He whisper-yelled, sighing before pursing his lips and looking around.

Miguel noticed that your necklace was broken, bits of your suit retracting because of it. He silently cursed before he saw a black kind of liquid leaking out. He blinked and it was gone. He rubbed his eyes before checking it once again. 

He shrugged it off before carrying you in bridal style. Soon, you glitched, sending Miguel in a rukus. Miguel almost dropped you, he barely made it, inches away from dropping your head. 

He clicked his tongue, getting a day pass from his watch and putting it on your wrist. He brought you closer, checking if you were okay. Not even glitching woke you up, you must be really tired.

He realized that the watch wasn't the only one that was keeping you from glitching, knowing you, you must've made the a similar device that could keep you from glitching. And his only guess was it was on your necklace.

"Fuck, you really are something, aren't you?" He whispered before continuing on walking to the med-bay, carrying you. A small smile tugged on his lips, looking at you softly. It felt so wrong, and it is wrong. He should be saving the multiverse but here he was, saving you first. "I told you no strings attached." He started, sighing before lokking away from your face.

.

.

.

"But there was something connecting us even before I've said it."

.

.

.

a/n: Get it? Trouble shooting? Helpp it was funny when I thought of it 😭 I'm so funny help

[pinewoodpipit]

so long, we become the flowers - Cowboy AU - Post-Fic Meta

Time for another meta post for “we become the flowers”, a.k.a. my cowboy au, now that the final chapter and epilogue have been released!

Here is a link to the first meta post for this fic, posted at the beginning.

Here is a link to the midpoint meta post for this fic, posted after chapter 5 was released.

This is a long post, so I'll put it behind a cut.

-

General thoughts

Yeah… the happy perfect ending back in chapter 5 couldn’t be allowed to last when there was an opportunity for MORE ANGST. I originally killed Greaves in chapter 4 before Fade and Neon reunited, but then I was like “wait… I want more cowboy antics” and pictured a scene of Fade furiously riding out to rescue Neon, and then this happened. I’m really glad because it gives me an opportunity to let Astra and Harbor shine!

Once they've healed, Neon thinks Fade’s new scars after the wolf attack are hot. She just has a thing for scars. She sees them as a symbol of them together rather than the attack, as was stated in the fic, BUT this is just Neon’s feelings bout them. If you asked Fade, she would deny this being their meaning, as she just sees them as memories of the attack and doesn’t think it makes any sense to assign more value to them than that. They’d probably argue about this if they told each other what they felt the scars represent, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. They are what they are and Neon has the hots for them.

At the end of chapter 6, Nathaniel and Neon were knocked out by a fantasy equivalent of chloroform which works closer to how it does in films than chloroform in reality, which doesn't knock you out for long and takes a very long time to work (plus if it does knock you out, it's likely to either kill you or otherwise seriously harm you since it's essentially starving you of oxygen). I wanted them unhurt and hey, I’m already extending fantasy to letting flowers bloom whenever I want. Why not this, too? It’s not important, ultimately, so long as you’re willing to suspend your disbelief for it. It’s a fantasy sleeping chemical, that’s all there is.

The soup Neon and her father made in chapter 8 is loosely based on tinola (a filipino ginger and garlic chicken soup with malunggay leaves and papaya). I don’t think they’d have papayas where they are and I don’t think food importation was particularly great at this point in time so I don’t think it was anything authentic, but the general ingredient profile was based on a tinola recipe I found online. I replaced the malunggay with bok choy, which I also don’t think is incredibly realistic, but I can believe them growing that more than I can believe them growing papaya, hahah. The flora in this fic is very fantasy in that they bloom whenever I like and they have some vegetables which the West most certainly didn’t have, but I don’t want to stretch it too far out of being plausible, so I just push it until my own suspension of disbelief begins to struggle.

On Twitter I sometimes post “spoilers without context” about my fics, and I did a couple of those for this fic. I posted a picture of Old Yeller in one of these posts to hint at Aykut’s death to the rabid wolf and someone asked me if I was going to kill a dog with rabies. I was just like “haha.. no… there are no rabid dogs and I would never kill a dog in my fics”… rabid wolves don’t count, right?

-

Changes

Deadlock was a later addition to this fic. I thought she’d be an interesting person for Fade to meet as someone who knows her town but not her history, and also provided an extra body to go after Greaves. He was set up as a powerful, crafty guy, even with his teammates gone. It wanted to make sure the threat of who he was was handled in a way that felt appropriate to the threat level, so Deadlock got added. It also adds some tension for the thought of lost power, when Deadlock’s pulled away to go track down what they assume will be Fade and Astra’s bodies. I also really enjoy Jettlock as a ship, even if it's tiny, and it was fun to add them into the background here towards the end. I think it's a nice end to Jett's arc.

This fic also got longer from its original plan even after the change from 5 to 9 chapters, with chapter 6 being added into the outline instead of chapters 6 and 7 being one single chapter. I felt Neon’s kidnapping felt rushed without the extra time, and I wanted to flesh out Fade’s recovery too after her attack, as this was an incredibly special time in the development of her and Neon’s relationship. They had her dad’s blessing, they were together all the time, they were living together and learning a little of what married life would be like for them. It was huge for them, and it was really nice to get to spend more time focusing on that. I’m glad I did, even if it meant pushing this fic to easily be my longest so far, surpassing even my and uni’s freckle fic 60k+ collab. After that, I thought adding an epilogue would be nice similar to how I did in my werewolf au, so it went from 10 to 11 chapters. I'm really satisfied with how it is now.

-

Fic art (and more moodboards)

I’ll share all art for this fic separately in its own post, but I wanted to post it here, too. Here are the first things I drew for this au, just preliminary design ideas of Fade and Neon. They’re outdated now, as Neon should have her nose scar and Fade is missing her mouth scar, too, but they helped me visualise at the start.

Here are more general pieces of art relating to the fic!

Lastly, as promised in the first meta post for this fic, I have more moodboards which were made back before the first chapter was even written, along with the character design moodboards! These are boards for the cottage that Fade built Neon in the epilogue. It's SO nice to be able to share this after having kept them secret for so long!

-

Music

In case you missed it, here's the post where I shared the playlist for this fic! (Plus some additional discussion about it.)

[celestialnxva]

dr. strange masterlist.

context:

The Reader is an oc but…with your name lol. As a hero, they are a spiritual witch that uses water magick, spellcasting, and herbs to protect others around them. This magick is taught traditionally, and given Born in a plane above another dimensional earth known as Hiyas sa Tubig. However, they have no memories of ever living there. After the plane was devastated with destruction in fire and flame, their Goddess Mayari merged with the last of her followers’ spirit and sent the reader to a safe dimension where they can restart their life safely. But between Mayari truly supplying their magick, the unnatural merging into a mortal’s body, and the magick to conceal all wounds in order to keep them alive, it will only be a matter of time where they—along with their family and friends—realize the truth of who they really are.

This reader is the same for both Marvel and DC fanfictions. The reader is also a person of color, specifically Filipino (Mayari is an important figure to indigenous witches like me), but there is no reason to not be able to enjoy the plots for what they are. :) It’s just that representation matters, even in smaller writing genres like ‘x reader’ fanfictions. Please, however, be respectful to my culture. That would really mean a lot to me. Lastly, the reader is disabled and uses a wheelchair due to the reality of their condition.

series:

In Another Life: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

Summary: When all is said and done, you couldn’t help but feel pity for the man who lost it all. Despite the risks, what shall you do with the growing desire to stay in a universe you don’t belong in?

Warnings: Spoilers for MoM and What If…? 18+ themes, Angst, Cheating (?), Hurt/Comfort, Manipulation, Non-Con, Imprisonment. Stockholm Syndrome, Violence, Death mention.

oneshots:

Unexpected.

Summary: The Avengers never thought in a million years that anyone would put up with Stephen Strange, so naturally they’ll want answers as to why you happened to be his partner.

Warnings: typical-canon violence and some angst at the beginning, but don’t worry because it gets pretty lighthearted.

Timeline: post-endgame au where everyone lives.

main masterlist. | marvel masterlist.

[allhailthewicked]

Random JATP Headcannon: The Wilson’s and Street Food

Do you ever think about how after the boy’s death Bobby was probably extremely weary of all take-out, street food, and basically all food that he can’t see how it is prepared? Because I do! SO I decided to write a headcannon about it.

I mean my man watched his three brothers die a horribly painful death because they wanted to have a quick bite to eat. Don’t think about how he was probably the person who found them dying from food poisoning, in excruciating pain probably scared out of their goddamn minds. Don’t think about him clutching their bodies sobbing. Don’t think about how Bobby 100% most definitely didn’t eat anything for the next few days after the guys’ death. Don’t think about how he was probably too scared to trust any foods that he doesn’t make himself. But honestly, he is terrible at cooking that was Reggie’s and Alex’s jobs. I mean he can make a couple of Filipino recipes that his Lola taught him how to make like halo-halo, adobo, liempo sinigang rice.

Then eventually, he started to eat again, well not exactly, I mean Dr. Crystal seemed hopeful. But like he would go to restaurants with like multiple EFFING Michelin Stars and like refuse the food because he’s so scared that he might choke, or get food poisoning and die like the others. Like he low-key throws a tantrum because he is freaking and upsets the chef, but can you blame him?

Without any contexts the public and gossip magazines were like:

 “woah I know he’s a rock star but what a spoiled brat”

“TREVOR WILSON: A FOOD SNOB?!?!”

 “I Can’t Believe (It’s Not Butter sorry back to the headcannon lol) That This Rising Star Threw His Soup at the Chef a Michelin Star Restaurant”

(It was completely by accident btw!!! The matching friendship ring with the guys fell in the soup and he didn’t want to lose another part of his friends. So he started to rush to the bathroom with the soup to find the ring and fix it. .....and the chef just happened to be right behind.....and the gazpacho just happened to spill all over him. But he did get the ring so..... that’s good!!! But he also cried a bunch washing the tomato off of it tho)

Rose started to swing by his house every couple of days with bags full of ingredients and she checks in with him as she is making classic Puerto Rican comfort foods. She quickly realized that his vegetarianism wasn’t a lie and adjusted the recipes that she grew up with to suit his needs. Rose also realizes that if Bobby doesn’t know how a certain food is made and if he can’t see all the ingredients that went into it then he would refuse to eat it. So she fell into a pattern where she would cook at his mansion as he looks over her shoulder seeing how she make the dishes, sadly laughing at the terrible dad jokes she makes. (The jokes remind him of the one Reggie use to make)

Rose “The Queen of Meal Prepping Before Meal Prepping was Popular” makes enough food the next couple of days. Together they would sit down together to enjoy a meal. Rose just tells him it was to  make sure that she made the recipe correctly. But really it was to ease his anxiety about eating and to prove that the food isn’t poison. However, deep down it was to also show him that it is okay to make new friends and the boys probably would have wanted him to at least try to move on a little. Quickly Rose discovered that his favorite dishes are arroz con gandules (basically white rice with peas and olives), mofongo (think like mashed potatoes but with plantains), and some many pasteles and empanadas. And even after Julie and Carrie were born they have family dinners once per week that Rose cooked.

Well I mean until her chemo started of course because that when the roles started to reverse..... (but I’ve given y’all enough angst today, so that’s a story for another time)

I mean at some point he probably had to learn how to cook for himself and Carrie or at the very least he goes to a restaurant that personally shows him how the food is prepared/ he can see most of the steps on how it is prepared. Like one time The number of professional chefs my manz personally knows is ridiculous!!! I mean once he became FILTHY LIKE DIRTY LIKE I WOULD EAT HIM rich he definitely got a personal chef to either meal prep or cooks meals for both him and Carrie.

Bobby had one of the worst anxiety attacks of his life (I mean other than when he found out the guys died) when Carrie was 7. She went to Flynn’s birthday party at an arcade and found out that she ate cheese pizza and hot dogs (I mean Lukie, Lexington, and Reg died from street glizzies for fuck’s sake). Sobbing he called Rose freaking out as he drove Carrie (who was blissfully ignorant singing along to the Kidz Bop CD she got from the party favor) to the ER. “Rose I can’t lose another person who I love” Rose right before she had to perform at a gig she convinced him to turn around and go back home.

This is @iamthefryiestfrench-blog genius idea and I love it so, so much but Carrie and Bobby definitely started to cook dinner together like a couple times a week as Father-Daughter bonding time. Well until Carrie started to get super busy with Dirty Candy and before Trevor started touring again at that point they started to drift away. Fights started to happen more frequently. Carrie started to get more and more take-out to spite Trevor, but she didn’t realize that Trevor stopped eating again. A major fight erupted after Trevor passed out from hunger a couple of weeks after the Orphuem concert.

 “Carrie sweetie it is NOT DRUGS”

“Then why did I walk in to you knocked out on the floor” 

“I just hadn’t had time to eat today mahal”

“Dad do not lie to me! I cannot lose another person who I love. I can’t Dad. I’m going to call Dr. Crystal!!!”

And that was when the truth was revealed...

Carrie’s channel is slowly started to be sponsored by hello fresh, cookunity, or blue apron every single week without fail. Both of them wouldn’t admit it, but this was her offering the olive branch and Trevor took it IMMEDIATELY. (He missed cooking with his little girl). And in the sponsorship ad you would see Trevor cooking a meal with his hair in little pigtails with pink scrunchies.

Of course, they get the vegetarian meals and if you use here promo code “DIRTYCANDI10” then you can get up to 10 meals for free!!! So thank you so much Hello Fresh for sponsering today’s video!!!

It took almost 25 years but cooking with Carrie again made things feel almost alright again and that’s all Bobby could have asked for.

A/N: Hi! Thanks for reading this it was really fun to write :) (because I love to write pain lmao) But please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist down below by either replying to this post, reblogging this post, or sending me an ask! I would appreciate reblogs and feedback because I love reading your guy's comments and tags they seriously make my day but it's fine if you don't want to :)!!!

~✨My Taglist is Under the Cut Lol✨~

@poppin-peters, @sunset-bobby, @theobligatedklutz, @soupforfree, @iamthefryiestfrench-blog

[anothanobody]

Men who are Unfaithful/ cheaters should go in a war and d!e . Idc they deserve it . I hate them I hate them I hate them. Their dick should be cut off. I’m so fucking mad I hate them they don’t deserve second chances and a good life

Sorry for the rant but I really do hate them 🙏

Context: there’s this Filipino angst em au in twitter where em separated but tried to be civil for their daughter. I’m not sure about the whole plot because it’s still new but apparently Eren is an unfaithful husband and that’s also the reason why they separated (as they should Milfkasa deserves better)

Cheaters deserves all the worst things in the world. Yeah sorry for ranting 😭

And I also realised that I have to prepare fir the upcoming angsts in your fics 🥲 my heart can only take some

Good lord anon, it's okay.

The AUs where one in EM cheats willingly will never have a happy ending... except Risks/Redemption cause he was forced into it.

MIlfkasa deserves absolutely better.

I even think that the concept of Eren cheating comes through Fanon Eren tho.. cause CANON EREN WOULD NEVER!!!1

[equalseleventhirds]

the whole discussion jon & martin had at the end of this latest ep about religion and god and the afterlife certainly was relevant to dekker’s whole thing abt hope for peace after death, and was possibly foreshadowing angst about somebody dying in the future, and had some interesting implications about martin possibly having that good ol religious-maybe-specifically-catholic guilt mixed in with guilt about his mother (cough filipino martin cough)

but also from a doylist perspective it’s v much ‘the main character is now omniscient which brings up the uncomfortable question of do we now through him confirm one single religious view as True And Real even in the context of a fictional universe, no let’s not do that, here is the explanation of why we are not doing that’ and i was laughing a little bit tbqh

[nekophiliaff]

hello the love of my life!!!!! for the asks!!! :)))

Art collector

Swan Lake:

Wes Anderson

Hurt/comfort

good morning from 12 hrs later, nadiaaaaa!!!! ☀️☀️

Art Collector: What are your favorite paintings?

Locally, it's The Parisian Life by Juan Luna 💜 I love everything about this painting (the colors, the expression on her face, the historical context). From academic analysis, they say the woman is actually the Philippines (the way she is seated actually mirrors the map of the country) and the three men looking over at her are Juan Luna (the painter), Jose Rizal (eventually declared national hero), and another Filipino revolutionary.

Also: Fallen Angel by Alexandre Cabanel bc ANGST okay!!!! The defiance and quiet rage in his eyes?? Speaks to me in every level.

Swan Lake: What inspires your creative work?

I get inspiration from all over (especially the most mundane things)! It could be a conversation I have with myself when I'm alone. It could be a scene from a show I'm watching (like how TWTDU was rly inspired by Rachel and Joey's mutual pining). It could be me and my bf interacting and me just thinking "how would this exchange go if it were character a and character b." It could be me doing chores and thinking, "okay, character a would definitely hate doing this." 😭😭

But sometimes it happens by forced/chanced upon inspiration.... like prompt accounts I follow lmao. Where The Light Does Not Bring Hope was actually born from a "night at the museum au" tweet by an au prompt twt account ✨

Wes Anderson: Favorite films?

One of my favorite movies of all time is PK! Since I watched it, no other movie has come close to the way it tackles religion. Parasite, too, because the use of architecture in visual storytelling was absolute genius!!!! 🤯🤯🤯

For Western movies, La La Land easily made my top faves bc of music, visuals, and Emma Stone lmao. Also Pirates of the Caribbean (especially 2 because the tension between Elizabeth and Jack >>> chemistry between Elizabeth and Will)!

Hurt/Comfort: Favorite literary/fanfic tropes?

Nothing ever beats he sexual tension in enemies to lovers for me!!! Also the "in every lifetime" always gets my eyes sweating like crazy 🥺 (edit: OF COURSE FOUND FAMILY how dare I forget my fave trope of all time. There's just something about chancing upon the people you will eventually be celebrating holidays with for years to come!)

ILYSM Nadia!! Thank you for indulging me with asks!!!!

[apeurolongessayexamples783]

write my essay for me

About me

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We’ve argued over things like the right method to make rice and what greens to buy for salad. Our habits are deeply rooted in our upbringing and individual cultures (Filipino immigrant and American-born Chinese, therefore the robust rice opinions). Recently, when my daughter visited, I opened the window “in” my second-flooring room and could see and hear her perfectly “out” there. For example, if math has been a passion of yours for a very long time, then you can make a joke about your first reminiscence being of doing a math problem. Or perhaps you at all times thought of yourself a math particular person till you challenged your self in a humanities class and found your ardour for the subject. Reading this immediate, it might be easy to fall into a trap of merely itemizing extracurriculars that you have carried out which relate to your intended main. 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[purplesurveys]

210

What name would you pick for yourself? I wish my parents stuck with Isabelle, then my nickname could be Belle. Robyn could be the name that everyone ignores instead. Do you like your birthday? I had no power over it so yeah I guess. I like that I’m the only one I know with that birthday; apparently April 21 is pretty uncommon for a birthday here. Why is your favorite day your favorite? Because the whole week exhausts me, but on Friday, I get to do anything I want after the last class is dismissed. Who's got the best sense of humor? Me. But also Hans. Do you enjoy going to live shows? I do, but not as much as other people who really make an effort to show up to every local gig possible.

Who do you spend the most time with? My girlfriend, definitely. Have you ever seen your favorite band/artist live? I’ve seen Paramore, so yes for band. No for artist as I’ve never seen Beyoncé in concert before. What color do you wish your hair was? I already like that it’s black. I want to maybe change it to dark green though. Do you like the color or your mom's eyes? I don’t care for her. Who's the last person you saw naked, aside from yourself? Gab. Do you have any interesting stories from high school? Lots? That’s four years of stories... Does any of the jewelry you wear have sentimental significance? Not really but it’s the first (of hopefully many) that Gab has given me hahahahah. Who is your favorite drummer? I have much respect for drummers so all of them, but I guess I’ll stick with Zac Farro from Paramore. Do you find mucisians attractive? Some are. Do you use any messengers? Yes. Messenger. If you could get any piercing, what would it be? A stud on my nose if I really had to, but I don’t want any piercings. What will your next tattoo be and where? Somewhere below my knee. Do you love to say fuck? Yes. Do you text people more than you talk to them in real life? Some people. It’s college, I never see the same people often anymore so texting and instant messaging help tons. Do you know who Vincent Price is? Heard the name plenty times, but you’re gonna have to tell me more. Do you scream, yell, jump around and dance at shows or do you stand still? The latter is only acceptable if that’s the accepted behavior for a particular show, like musicals or an orchestra or artists such as John Legend who don’t really have moshpit-y songs. Otherwise, what’s the point of going to shows if not to jump around and dance? Have you ever lost your voice from screaming so much? Yes. This happened in Paramore, One Direction, and every high school intramurals. What's your favorite color on the person you have feelings for? Black. Who's your favorite horror monster/killer? Carrie. Do you prefer salty, sweet, spicy or sour? I love all tastes except for sour. What kind of music do you prefer to listen to when driving? No preference, as long as it’s music I like. What's your favorite type of weather? I love it the most when the sky is bleak, it’s raining hard, it’s cold enough to have the fan on the lowest setting, and it’s dark around the house. What is your clothing style preference? Egh I just wear whatever mood I have for the day. Are you willing to board airplanes? Yes, I LOVE airplanes. Do you know who Emily the Strange is? Nope. Do you think women with tattoos on their arms are unattractive? No? Do looks really matter to you when it comes to friendship? Wow terrible question, nope. Do you accept friend requests from people you don't know? Never. I don’t even like seeing updates from people I already do know, so having a random stranger on my feed will be 5x worse. Are you a liar? I’m a good one if I have to be. What is one of your best talents? Rushing all the work I’ve procrastinated and yielding really good results. Are/were you a rebellious youth or angsty teen? I was both and it was terrible. It stuck with me, because I ended up getting depressed from all the angst surrounding me back then. Do you like fruit scented body sprays? I don’t know how to feel about them. I’ve never smelled one. Do you like writing with gel pens? No. They’re so smudgy.

Do you put your change in a jar for savings? No, I use all my change for street food or save them up for emergency jeepney rides. I save by putting all my unspent bills in an envelope.

Do you wear sunglasses? Only on vacation. How do you feel about transvestites? I think they are entitled to do whatever they want. Are you homophobic? No. Do you watch sports on TV? Mostly no. Sometimes I’ll catch a UFC match or tennis game and I’ll watch along, but never knowing the context of it. What year were you born in? 1998. Do you know anyone with a land line at their house? We do. A lot of Filipino houses still do; elders use it to communicate since a lot of them never got the hang of cellphones. Do you have any guilty pleasures? I have stuff I like that not many people know about, but I’m not literally guilty about them. Are you afraid of the dark? Depends. If it’s a horror house/train and it’s dark then yes hahahaha. Other times, not really. What's your favorite animal to see at the zoo? I don’t like supporting zoos. Do you like swimming in pools? Noooooooope. That shit nasty. There are pools I enter that just feel so dirty and greasy right from the start. Plus kids pee in there all the time...I’d rather be swimming in the sea Do you think people find you scary and unapproachable? Some have told me scary, but not unapproachable. Have you been in a fist fight with someone you didn't want to fight? No. I’ve been in sudden confrontations, though. Has anyone ever convinced you to do something you didn't want to? Yes. Do you allow yourself to regret things? I do, it’s just that most of the time I don’t. Are you a sensitive person? Very. Do you enjoy writing? I used to, now I’m finding my muse for it again. Are you a germ-o-phobe? No. What is one of your phobias? Injections. Would you ever own a hairless rat, cat or dog? Rat, no. Cat, no. Dog, yes. Do you prefer big, fluffly towels or normal sized/smaller towels? Big and fluffy. What is the image on your beach towel? I don’t have a separate towel for when I’m out on the beach. What do you do in the summer to keep cool? Eat tons of ice cream, shower twice a day, have the aircon on, go swimming. Do you wear a scarf in the winter? We don’t have winter. Where do you want to go in life? I don’t really care where anymore, I just want to end up happy and not regretting that I didn’t leave sooner. Are you good with making eye contact? To some people.

[nofomoartworld]

Hyperallergic: From Oyster Shells to Cardboard Bales, the Politics of Everyday Materials

Material Politics, installation view (all images courtesy of Institute of Modern Art)

BRISBANE, Australia — When co-curators Johan Lundt and Aileen Burns mined the Institute of Modern Art’s archives, they found an access point to a pivotal time in Brisbane’s material and political history in the 1986 exhibit Recession Art and Other Strategies. That show was created at time when there was very little market for Australian art, and the artists featured all made works within an economy of means: from basic materials and in a modular way. That way, if they sold their work in Australia or abroad, it could be packed down and shipped off easily. The exhibition centered around economic questions raised during a turbulent time in Brisbane’s history: the conservative regime of Queensland’s longest-serving premier, Joh Bjelke-Petersen. During his reign, Brisbane earned the nickname Pig City, a reference to the corrupt and oppressive police force and generally inhospitable climate for artists who operated with scant — if any — resources. This was also a time when Brisbane’s already politicized punk scene struck back at Bjelke-Petersen’s heavy-handed attempts to squelch it.

IMA’s current show, Material Politics, takes its inspiration from Recession Art to explore how the last three decades of socioeconomic growth, rapid gentrification, increased mobility, the rise of digital technology, and lasting colonial legacies have continued to impact the materials used in Australian art. This collection of new and commissioned works emphasize the way artists use everyday materials to articulate their inherent politics.

In “Foundations II” (2017) by Quandamooka artist Megan Cope from North Stradbroke Island (Minjerribah), oyster shells are mounted on cast concrete and arranged in a 10×10 grid on the gallery floor. Traditionally, oyster shells are used to make middens — mounds of discarded refuse that mark human settlements for many First Nation groups. The concrete references the drudging and sand mining on Stradbroke Island that has led to the removal of many of these middens, but here, each shell stands upright on its cement block as if in defiance. These materials represent the destruction of significant heritage site and express the politics of extraction and displacement. Cope subverts this common modernist aesthetic (the grid) by using it to project colonial violence on the landscape.

Megan Cope, “Foundations II” (2016), oyster shells and cast concrete, dimensions variable

Keg de Souza, “the earth affords them no food at all” (2017), vacuum-sealed food storage bags, food, 5.2 x 2.7m

Keg de Souza’s “the earth afford them no food at all” (2017) is one of the larger pieces in the show. It consists of 12 vacuum-packed plastic bags hanging in vertical rows across the gallery wall, each filled with different native spices and other processed food popular in Australia — 55 foods in total. These simple, quotidian materials reflect how national identity is formed through food culture, and the hermetically sealed bags reference Australia’s strict food biosecurity laws.

Tintin Wulia’s “172 Kilograms of Homes for Ate Manang” (2017) hangs from the wall off to the side, between Cope’s bags and de Souza’s grids. Her bale of cardboard is wrapped so tightly with wire that it seems to pull in the space around it. Some simple drawings in red appear on the side of the bale, which Wulia purchased from an informal network of recyclers who collect cardboard refuse from the streets of Hong Kong, consolidate it, and then sell it off to be recycled in China. The project took an unexpected turn when she traced the cardboard’s movement and discovered a micro economy: The collectors often lease the discarded cardboard to Filipino domestic workers to be used to make temporary shelters. This large population of workers generally has no space of their own, so they construct living rooms in public spaces during their days off. For Wulia, these makeshift rooms became sites in which to record stories and build relationships. During her time with the domestic workers, they made drawings on the cardboard, which helped her locate the pieces once they started to circulate again, and she used these to construct the bale hanging in the gallery.

Tintin Wulia, “172 Kilograms of Homes for Ate Manang” (2017), cardboard, 60 x 80 x 75 cm

There’s an interesting formal composition in this gallery as a whole, with Cope’s oyster grid flowing into de Souza’s vertical array of spices, and Wulia’s cardboard bale balancing the scene. Whether or not this was done intentionally by the curators, seen together, these three pieces use materials — all made within an economy of means — that speak to land rights, ecological vulnerability, and the precarity of domestic workers. Each manages to bind the complexity of these issues into rigorous formal structures.

Elsewhere in the show, Archie Moore’s “Bogeyman” (2017) stands as an ominous presence. The “paint skin” (a build-up of acrylic paint) resembles a white sheet draped over a simple wooden structure, evoking the specter of first contact and racial stereotypes, speaking directly to racially motivated hate such as is found in Abu Ghraib and within the KKK. Behind Moore’s piece is “39 Steps” (2017), a single-channel video of women dancing to choreographed moves, taken at the Women’s March in Melbourne earlier this year. Artists Gabriella and Silvana Mangano project the video onto differently sized and shaped mirrors in order to emphasize how the body carries messages in public space. The women’s gestures explore the kinds of authority or inspiration that can happen when a march gets translated into a dance.

Archie Moore, “Bogeyman” (2017), paint and wood, 316 x 187 x 46.5 cm

Gabriella and Silvana Mangano, “39 Steps” (2017), single-channel video installation, Dimensions variable

Raquel Ormell’s “I’m worried this will become a slogan” (1999–2009) is a collection of double-sided banners made of wool and felt with inscriptions such as “I’m worried I’m not political enough” on one side and a related news headline on the other. The slogans reveal the artist’s anxiety and perceived lack of agency when it comes to conveying political messages through her art. Her work remains prescient, considering the angst-ridden political landscape we all must traverse these days. Jemima Wyman and Zach Blas’s four-channel video installation “I’m here to learn so :))))))” (2017) features Tay, Microsoft’s AI chatbot that existed for only one day. The artists bring Tay back to life in Google DeepDream–scape and then take viewers on a deeply disturbing journey through the politics of pattern misrecognition, dangerous algorithms, and biometrics.

Raquel Ormella, “I’m worried this will become a slogan” (1999–2009), double-sided banners, sewn wool, and felt, 186 x 128 cm

The curators of Material Politics didn’t need to look back, although I understand the impulse to excavate the past to feed the present. This exhibit became refracted through the access point of 1986: Timely political issues placed in a contemporary context take on different resonances today, and artists’ materials aren’t driven by economic constraints as much as they bring to life the politics they assert.

Material Politics continues at Institute of Modern Art (Judith Wright Centre, 420 Brunswick Street, Fortitude Valley, Brisbane) through July 15.

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