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lanaisnotwool · 4 years ago

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406 Why You Need Masterminds - Interview Alex Pardo

http://moneyripples.com/2020/07/10/1597/

Chris Miles, the "Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor," is a leading authority on how to quickly free up and create cash flow for thousands of his clients, entrepreneurs, and others internationally! He’s an author, speaker, and radio host that has been featured in US News, CNN Money, Bankrate, Entrepreneur on Fire, and spoken to thousands getting them fast financial results.

Listen to our Podcast here:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/06/05/406--why-you-need-masterminds-interview-with-alex-pardo

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Chris Miles (00:00): Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. Hey guys! I'm going to welcome you out for another show this week. A show that's for you and about you. Those of you that work so freaking hard for your money, and you're ready for your money start working harder for you. Now! You want that freedom. That cash flow. That prosperity. Today! Not 30 or 40 years from now, but right now. So you work because you want to. Not because you have to. So you have that life that you love being with those that you love doing what you love. But it's not just about your own comfort and convenience, right? It's not just about having that life of your dreams, where you can just sit back and sip on some lemonade or whatever. But it's so much more than that guys, because as Ripplers, you guys actually want to create a ripple effect through people's lives. Not just your family, but through your community and across the world, because as you become free yourself, you can help others do the same too.

Chris Miles (00:58): And I'm excited to be a part of that ripple effect because you guys allow me to create the ripple effect through you. And guys, I appreciate it so much. I appreciate you guys being a part of this. Of this movement. You guys are becoming a part of something that's amazing, and it's allowing me to express it and get that bigger impact and reach that I've always wanted. So thank you for being a part of this, sharing it bingeing on these episodes and everything else you do.

Chris Miles (01:21): Quick reminder, check our website, MoneyRipples.Com There's great stuff on there as well. You can also reach out to me if you've got questions in addition to that. All right, guys. So today I want to bring on a special guest, a guy that I've come to really respect in one of my mastermind groups that he's in a part of a high level, real estate mastermind group, Collective Genius that we're together in. And Alex Pardo. He's the guy that's always impressed me, right? One, I mean, not just an amazing entrepreneur and a real estate professional himself and investor and a coach and everything else. Right? But he's also a family guy. He's like a real person, which as you guys know, I like to bring on genuine, authentic people. You know, not like the slick, you know, snake oil, salesmen of sorts. Like this guy is the real deal. By the way, he's also got another podcast you can check out called FLIPEMPIRE. It's awesome! And that's also his name of his company. He also has a parent company called Creative RE-Solutions. He's flipped well over 300 properties. So even after you graduated from college, but you know, almost 20 years ago, he decided to go work for GE at the time. He's like, you know what, even though I've become a CEO, I'm changing that direction.

Chris Miles (02:27): And so this is where he ended up starting going down that path. No more working 75 hours a week. Moved over towards doing real estate and have a life of freedom. And so guys, the main reason I brought him on today is because, you know, many of you will ask me, they say, Chris, you know, I hear you're part of these great groups, these masterminds, you know, how do I find people like that? Because right now, now more than ever, you need a support group. And so, Alex, love having you on the show, man. Thanks! Thanks for coming on.

Alex Pardo (02:55): Chris. Thank you so much for the opportunity. I'm excited to be on and to share some thoughts with Your audience. So thank you for having me.

Chris Miles (03:01): Yeah. So tell us a little bit more about the path, fill in the gaps for me a little bit, cause I know you're an adventurer. I mean, you've backpacked all over the world and done cool stuff. I mean, but tell us a little bit more about you.

Alex Pardo (03:11): Yeah. I'll try to keep it super brief cause you on a lot of it, but you know, sometime around college, first of all, ever since I was 11, 12 years old, I would buy and sell baseball cards. I would buy packs of cards and boxes and I would flip them. And at the time I didn't know, I was essentially wholesaling like, but I was learning some of the, just the fundamentals of buying low and selling high. And so I think I've always been wired with that in me. And something changed there on college. When I was in college, I, I think it was the prestige or maybe it was the ego, honestly, that I wanted to. I saw like the Jack Welch's of the world and all these big time CEOs. And I'm like, I want to be that guy. Until I got hired by general electric in their financial management program.

Alex Pardo (03:51): And I moved away from Miami for the first time. And I'll never forget, you know, three and a half months into that job. I was averaging about 70 to 80 hours a week. I didn't enjoy anything I was doing. And the defining moment for me, Chris was I would look at my boss. I would look at their boss and then I would keep going up the chain all the way up to the CFO of GE capital. And I looked at them and I said, I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be working around the clock. And I just didn't enjoy it at that decision. At that point, when I made a decision, I'm going to finish the two year program, but I'm going to start educating myself about real estate. I had read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I had read a bunch of these books, but I had never taken action.

Alex Pardo (04:30): Right? So long story short, I finished that two year commitment. I went backpacking around Europe to "Find myself. Figuring out what I wanted to do." And I was in an internet cafe in Ibiza and a friend of mine sent me an email and he said, Hey, I'm going to this camp. Marketing for deals Boot-camp. It's 997 bucks. It does. It might not sound like a lot of money to a lot of people, but for me at the time I had funded my entire three months backpack, triple my credit card. I didn't really have much money and it was a fork in the road. Well, thank God. I decided to take him up on that offer. I spent a thousand bucks on my card, went to the event, pulled out a letter. They were teaching us how to market for pre-foreclosures. This was in late 2005 and I started handwriting envelopes and sending out mailers to Pre-Foreclosures. A couple of months later, I closed my first deal and almost made exactly what I was making as a salary at GE. So, I've been doing that ever since 2005.

Chris Miles (05:28): That's awesome! You know, I can know a lot of people here can relate cause there's lot of people here that work really, they do really work hard for their money, right? And some of them make great money. But it comes with a price, you know, and some people will actually even believe that you have to do that. Like somehow you just have to work those long hours to get that kind of money. And that's just not true. That's a whole paradigm shifts that everybody needs to have. Right?

Alex Pardo (05:50): That's right! A hundred percent. I mean, I think you hit the nail on the head. I see. It's really unfortunate when I see people sacrificing time with their family or whatever they value, whatever it's important in the pursuit of money. Because as cliche as it might sound, forget tomorrow, the next minute is not promised to us. And unfortunately, sometimes it takes a tragedy or it, sometimes it takes, it takes you hearing about someone passing away for it's reminding you, like you have to enjoy life. And that's not to say that, you know, you don't pay attention to the responsibilities and end generating income and bringing in the finances. That's important, but you can have both, you know, I learned years ago from a mentor that this is an end world. It's not an either/or. In other words, you can have both things. You just have to be very intentional and strategic about it.

Chris Miles (06:35): Yeah. That's that's, I love that! That whole abundance mindset and realize not either/or, but it's a, how would I have both. Right? How do I have my cake and eat it too. Right?

Alex Pardo (06:44): Right. It's possible.

Chris Miles (06:45): It's sure is. Yeah. Well, tell us, like in your journey, like what's been some of the biggest ways, what are some of the biggest factor for your success?

Alex Pardo (06:55): Great question, Chris. I wish I had a sexy answer for you. I wish it was a story with a chance encounter with some celebrity where I got an opportunity. It wasn't that at all. It was, I've, a couple of years into my journey. As an entrepreneur, I tried to do everything alone. I was a lone Wolf and I had some success, but I also had some pretty big failures and those failures kind of shaped me. And one of the things I realized is I don't have to reinvent the wheel. If I can find the right people, put them into my life and have the right inner circle. I can, essentially success leaves, clues, right? And then I have to follow their exact path because I'm on my own unique journey, but I don't have to make mistakes that these people have already been through.

Alex Pardo (07:35): So the two years, it took me losing $51,000, $52,000. In 2007. Right as the market was shifting, I lost just over 50 grand on a deal. And I vowed to that point. I said, I'm not going at this alone anymore. So I hired a coach at that time. And through that process, I got exposed to masterminds. And so for the last, I don't know, whatever, it's been 12 years, 13 years, I have been coached by a couple of people at the same time. I've invested in myself as you have. We were just talking how we're both a part of multiple mastermind groups. And I could not imagine, Chris, especially with everything going on with COVID-19, I couldn't imagine going at this alone or without having a network, a community, a mastermind. Where I could just pick up the phone and call someone like you, Chris, and Hey, this is my challenge. This is what I'm going through. Or I need your insight. I need your perspective. So that's completely changed my life, you know, not just coaching, but being a part of the right communities, being a part of the right groups, people that are gonna walk alongside you, people that are going to help you to think bigger and challenge you and hold you accountable. It's been a game changer for me.

Chris Miles (08:41): Yeah. I'd be curious to know. Cause I know a lot of people ask me this. They're like, well, how do you find a good group like that? Like how do you find the one that's the right group? Cause there's lots of groups out there. Right? And there's tons of posers out there. There's tons of people that are kind of charlatans. Right? And they tend, and some of them are some of the biggest marketing people out there. Right? And then you get in their groups, you're like, this group stinks, you know, it's like this, isn't like, this is all hype and no real content or no real like, you know, real muscle to it. You know? So for you, like, what's been your experience like how you found the right groups.

Alex Pardo (09:13): Yeah. Well, first of all, phenomenal question. And I think this can be really, really helpful for people that have gotten to the point where they've said, okay, I see the value in being in a mastermind. I see the value in plugging into the right community. Now I go online, how do I even start the process. And one of the things I always say is, you know, do some research. Find out. Look at the leader. Who's running the group? And chances are, you know, most masterminds. You're going to go through some sort of interview process. And in some cases that's kind of a marketing gimmick type thing, a sales thing. In other cases it's legit. Like they, you know, if the leader is vetting, who is being put in the group, that's the kind of group I think you want to be a part of, not just somebody that can stroke a check or send a wire or make a certain investment in themselves.

Alex Pardo (10:00): But you want the group to have some sort of qualifications. And that doesn't necessarily mean X amount of volume or X amount of dollars you make. That could be a part of it. But you want to connect with the leader. They're going to probably interview you. You want to interview them. Ask them about their core values. Ask them about why they started the group. What's their intention? What's their, why are they doing this? Is it a business? And if so, that's fantastic! Absolutely nothing wrong with that because masterminds can be very lucrative as you know, Chris, but I would want to be a part of a group where it's more than just a business for them, right? Where their hearts in it, where they have a heart for service and for giving. And so you want to find out what makes up the DNA on that group, right?

Alex Pardo (10:41): Is it a group of go givers? Is it a group of people or is it a group of just like, you know, ego, chest pounding people that it's all about, Hey, I'm bigger and better kind of thing because there's both groups out there. So find a group that resonates with you. I think the second thing you want to ask yourself is, what direction do you want to take your life in your business? Do you have a vision for your life and for your business? Because depending on what you want to accomplish and the direction you want to go could really dictate what type of group you get into. To your point, Chris, there's no shortage of masterminds out there. It feels like they're popping up left and right now. Now, the flip side is, don't do so much research and don't get into analysis paralysis that, you know, 12 months later, you still haven't joined the group. The right group is out there. I think you can figure out just by having a conversation or a couple of conversations with the leader. And maybe even get some referrals, find out, Chris, you know, who's in that group? Who can I connect with? And gain an unbiased opinion on that group.

Chris Miles (11:37): I think that's a great idea for sure. Essentially. Cause like, you know, I always took the, you know, as a coach right. And consulting people, I always took kind of more of the group model for a few years. And then I realized that people didn't really need a guru model. They needed a guide. Right? And obviously I still give, you know, help and advice and guidance and stuff. But I realized that one of the biggest shifts for me was after I started to look into mastermind groups myself. And start to see the value when I started to apply that element to my own clients. Cause I had them come out to my house, for example, you know, twice a year. And, and we just have this very intimate group. And a lot of the members of the group said, you know, they'll even say at the end, they'll say, you know, the biggest thing I got out of this, like, sorry, Chris, like your stuff is awesome.

Chris Miles (12:19): But I love talking to people that were at my level, like people that were dealing with the same thing I'm dealing with right now. Like I've learned so much from talking with other people, even just during the breaks or lunch or whatever. Like I have learned so much from that. And it blew my mind. Like my ego was kinda rocked for a little bit. I was like, wait a minute, like I'm supposed to be your mentor. And then I realized, no, this is good. This is awesome. Like it's such amazing, it was such an amazing perspective shift for me and seeing how it really benefits people.

Alex Pardo (12:49): Yeah. And I always tell, I think to that end, Chris, you know, when we interview people and when we, and we have a pretty small intimate group through a sense, but when we interview people, we tell them, look, you're going to get the X's and O's and the strategy, and you're going to get a lot of content. But that's not even where the real value is. That's extremely valuable. But it's the relationships. The relationship capital is priceless. The fact that you and I are in a group and now we're doing this and there's ways that you can collaborate with people and the friendships and the fact that I can pick up the phone and call anybody in our group. Chris is, to me, it's just, it's priceless. So while I get a lot of value at the actual masterminds, to your point, it's the side conversations at the bar at the restaurant or at the break, it's the connection.

Alex Pardo (13:36): I mean, again, everybody's heard, you know, your net worth is your net worth. And I've also heard, it's not, it, it's not what, you know, it's who, you know, I'll take it a step further. It's who knows you. And so to me, that's, if I was weighing it out, that's probably 70%, 75% of the value is the relationships. And yeah, I've learned a ton and I've implemented systems and marketing strategies. And I bought properties from people in our group. And so there's been a lot of business that has come out of it, but the relationships is really what it's all about for me.

Chris Miles (14:07): That's, amen to that man! So, you know, I'll tell you like, and like you said before too, you like even mentioned like, it's, you kind of went to the question, I was already gonna ask you already hit it. Right? Which was, how would somebody know it's the right route for them? Right? And that kind of leads me to your group. You have a group named Ascend, right? So Alex, tell us more about Ascend, you know, what it is and who would be the right fit for that kind of group.

Alex Pardo (14:29): Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much for the opportunity to kind of briefly share about it. And I don't want this to be sound like a sales pitch or anything. It's just, honestly, I've been doing real estate now for 15 years. This is what I'm most passionate about. I realized my calling is to pour into people's lives and to work with them. So, because I've been a part of a lot of different mastermind groups and I've had a lot of coaches, I never found the group that brought them both together. So when I got together with my partner, Steve Cavanaugh, last year, we said, how can we create an experience where we mastermind? And we also get the coaching component. So it's a hybrid mastermind and coaching group for entrepreneurs. We have two groups of 15. So it's very small and intimate. We were talking about this offline.

Alex Pardo (15:08): It's not a group where there's hundreds of people and you, you kind of get lost in the shuffle. And not to say that there's anything wrong with that. There's some really valuable groups. We're a part of one that's pretty big and it's awesome, but we want it to go on a little bit of a different direction. We want the right people in there and you know, and so yeah, we, you know, every four months we get together in South Florida and we mastermind in a small intimate setting. It's an experience. We have a lot of fun while we're doing it. And then there's monthly one on one coaching. And then we get together as a group on Zoom. And we mastermind on Zoom. And ever since COVID hit we've been doing that on a weekly basis. So the level of accountability, the level of just transparency that's in the group is amazing.

Chris Miles (15:46): That's awesome, man! And like you said, when you're talking about business owners or you're specifically saying those that are going in the business of real estate, right?

Alex Pardo (15:53): No, no, by the way, thank you. Because I didn't, I didn't clarify that. No! This group is for entrepreneurs. Now having said that because of the content I produced to the podcast, because I've been in real estate, I'd probably say 80%, 75%, 80% of our members are in real estate, but we do have some members that have different businesses. We didn't want it to just be a group about real estate. And I think the other thing that, that makes it unique, Chris, is that we don't just talk business, but we actually start with the life component. At the foundation of what we do is, what's the vision for your life? And then let's help you either tweak, modify and or create a business that supports that lifestyle. So at our mastermind retreat, sometimes we're talking about, you know, Hey, my business, I need to generate more revenue and we're talking about marketing. And then juxtapose that we, you know, we had a situation in our group where somebody is dealing with an addiction. And so we, we really dove into that. So it covers life and business because my belief is that they're connected and one impacts the other. It has a ripple effect. Pun intended on each other. So...

Chris Miles (16:57): That's right. Well, awesome! If people want to find out more information about that, how would they go about doing so?

Alex Pardo (17:03): Yeah, it's super simple. AscendYourSuccess.com AscendYourSuccess.com Short five, six minute video on there. And then it's just an application process. And it's really just a conversation to see, you know, if it's a fit, answer questions and us to find out more about you. So it's a pretty simple process.

Chris Miles (17:20): That's great. Yes. There we go. You'll check that out, man. We'll put that link in the show notes for you guys to, just to go look at or check it out, you know, apply if you want to apply. Obviously I can vouch for Alex. Alex is amazing, man. Like, he's both on and off camera, so to speak, right. You know, or off the mic. He's a great guy. So definitely check that out and also check out his podcast. You wanna get to know him more through there. Check out FLIPEMPIRE as well. So anyways, Alex, appreciate you being on today.

Alex Pardo (17:49): No! Again, I really thank you for having me on. Again, it's for me, it's friendship. I'm grateful for the relationship. I know we have a mutual friend in Armando. And so anything you ever need, brother, I am here for you and same applies to anybody listening to this. If I can answer any questions or if you just want to connect again, I love building relationships. And if I can add value in any way, you know, feel free to reach out [email protected].

Chris Miles (18:14): Awesome! Appreciate it, Alex, man. Everybody else you've heard it like reach out to Alex, check out his stuff. It's good stuff there, but right now is the best time, more than ever to stay connected. If I would have learned anything from the last recession that I went through, I thought I had to suffer alone. And that was not the case guys. Like if, if I would have learned quickly that it was actually reaching out to people and associated with people and looking for help, I would have not have suffered through the recession as much as I had. So guys, I recommend you. Don't fall in that same trap that I did as well, that you learn from our mistakes and from our successes too. So everybody, I'll be making a wonderful prosperous week. We'll see you later.

#Chris Miles #Anti-financial Advisor #Cash flow #Cash flow Expert #Debts #Entrepreneur #Financial Freedom #Money Ripples

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renardtrickster · 5 years ago

Note

I am going to kill you and ask you to do every number on that ask post

You devious yet cute bastard, I’m in.

1. What is you middle name?

Personal information so I’m not divulging it, but it abbreviates to X.

2. How old are you?

Legal.

3. When is your birthday?

September 26.

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Libra/The Scales/The Dragon/Terepy

5. What is your favorite color?

Dark Green. #127712 specifically.

6. What’s your lucky number?

I think 2? I do like 12 though.

7. Do you have any pets?

Not anymore. I used to have two dogs though.

8. Where are you from?

Florida. I came out of the swamps.

9. How tall are you?

5′10″

10. What shoe size are you?

28cm, Women’s 11.5, Men’s 9.5, that’s what my sneakers say.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Two. A pair of loafers so broken down I avoid wearing them whenever possible, and a pair of fine sneakers.

12. What was your last dream about?

All I remember is that Duff McWhalen’s theme song was playing throughout it and it was really annoying after a while.

13. What talents do you have?

I would say my talents are acute memory of obscure topics, vivid storytelling, and I’m pretty good at video games.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

It doesn’t happen with much frequency nowadays, but when I was younger and it happened a bit more often, I could always tell when I was being observed with no other clues. I could feel the eyes on my back. I can also bend spoons and set fires with my mind but that’s less interesting.

15. Favorite song?

More like favorite song right now, but probably Rocket Surgeon.

16. Favorite movie?

The Persona 3 movies currently.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Off of the top of my head, I’m imagining someone who’s heart-throbbing to look at (pretty women or cute boys), pretty sharp, tough to boot, has a lot in common with me, and is understanding too. I’ve got a few quirks, and it’d be nice to know that I’m not condemned to dying alone because of them.

18. Do you want children?

Not in the slightest.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

I don’t even want a wedding wedding. If we’re partners, isn’t being together enough? From what I know, weddings just add unnecessary stress and complication.

20. Are you religious?

I’m definitely spiritual, and Religion connected to that, even if I don’t devote myself to a specific doctrine. It’s less pantheism and more “they’re probably all true to an extent and also SMT is real”. In any case I just try to be a good person.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

As a patient, none that I could remember but I know I went because of various injuries. As a visitor, quite a few times.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

I’ve done things that would get me in trouble with the law, but have not run afoul of them yet. The closest would be that one time I was staying at a hotel, and the police knocked on my door and asked if I knew where someone was living. I didn’t, but I guessed anyway, and that’s how half the hotel had the police knocking on their door.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

No.

24. Baths or showers?

Showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

White with grey soles.

26. Have you ever been famous?

I have a lot of followers on this tumblr blog, would that count?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

I want to be a famous author, so kind of. But I want to still retain my anonymity and not have my real name and face attached to stuff. Yoko Taro gives me hope in that regard, because he’s rather famous but any information we know about him, we know on his terms. That’s how I want to live.

28. What type of music do you like?

I usually listen to video game OSTs, and most of the ones I listen to are so genre-blending so it’s hard to pin down. Most of it is instrumental, but I’m not opposed to music with vocals. Genres aren’t cohesive, so I’d say “music that makes you want to punch robots to” and “music that makes you want to talk to friends to”. J-rap is pretty good though.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Hell no!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I toss and turn before going to sleep and while asleep, but my back seems to be consistent.

32. How big is your house?

It’s pretty decent. 2 room 1 bath, and the living room is rectangular.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Milk & cereal, or pop-tarts.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

No, but I want to.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

I think once in grade school. I wish I could try again though.

36. Favorite clean word?

Cerebral just off the top of my head.

37. Favorite swear word?

Bastard or Shit. The former is innately funny and all-purpose to refer to someone. The latter is so versatile it can be used in any context.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

I think a day, although the standard is around 18.

39. Do you have any scars?

I don’t think so.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I think there was one person in school who had a thing for me but they were gay and at the time I thought I was straight, so I paid them no mind. There was also someone who said “X likes you”, but I didn’t know who X was so I said “cool” and went on my way. I was also propositioned once in middle school, but that’s less “secret admirer” and more “sexual harasser”.

41. Are you a good liar?

I think so.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

For good people, yes. For bad people, no.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Yeah. I remember playing Undertale and my little sister was nearby, and I decided to voice all the characters. I had a lot of fun!

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’m actually the only member of my family that doesn’t have a Boston accent.

45. What is your favorite accent?

Russian, hands-down.

46. What is your personality type?

According the the Myers-Briggs test I just took, ISFP-T/Adventurer. Which is bizarre considering I’m pretty sure I got a different result a year or so ago. According to “what word would you use”, droll.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have no idea. Either those sneakers, or the heavy winter jacket I got when I was in Colorado. Both were gifts, so I never saw the pricetag, but my Dad said they were pretty nice-looking.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yeth.

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Inside.

50. Left or right handed?

Left.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

My knowledge of spiders is well enough that I know at least 2 types of spiders who can kill you horribly in one bite, and know little enough that I can’t tell any of them apart from common house spiders. I’m more afraid of dying stupidly because the boner spider snuck up on me than the idea of spiders themselves.

52. Favorite food?

Either Macaroni & Cheese or Cheeseburgers.

53. Favorite foreign food?

Burritos probably, even though I usually only eat meat and cheese on them. Are you detecting a theme because I am.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I try to be clean, but I’m usually a bit scattered.

55. Most used phrased?

“says something about”, “despite that” are some. Although I know I tend to use a few stock phrases When I Post Long.

56. Most used word?

I wouldn’t even know where to begin finding that out.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Maybe a few minutes, although I’m usually working on a set routine.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think I do. If I do, I tend to exaggerate it or turn it to a positive end.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

No matter how hard I want to keep it at sucking, I usually bite at some point. Don’t screencap this.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

No.

62. Are you a good singer?

Also no.

63. Biggest Fear?

Most if not all of my friends, and the people I admire as well, all either start hating me or end up hating me and I lose every social connection I have or want to have. The reason varies, whether it be my fault or someone slandering me, but being hated by people I like freaks me out. As does the idea of not being able to tell my stories.

64. Are you a gossip?

I’d like to say no but considering I rather frequently discuss discourse in my Discord chats, I guess I am.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I do not watch drama films.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

On myself, long-to-middle length. On others, any length really.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Probably not.

68. Favorite school subject?

Social studies was a strong suit of mine.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No.

71. What makes you nervous?

Time passing and things not getting done.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

No. The things in the dark can eat it too.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Yes, but I try to be kind about it. Or funny.

74. Are you ticklish?

I haven’t been tickled recently, so I wouldn’t know.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

No. At worst, I’ve spread information I don’t think is 100% accurate, but I ALWAYS disclaim that it shouldn’t be trusted without further research.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

I’m an older sibling, so yes.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

No.

78. Have you ever done drugs?

No, but I was offered twice. Once by an irresponsible (and awful) authority figure, once by some kids in the bathroom. Both times I said “no thanks”, and funny enough the former tried to change my mind, and the latter just said “ok cool”.

79. Who was your first real crush?

Oh god here come the bad memories. I’m heavily abbreviating and redacting information to protect the identities of me and all involved, but in Colorado I met someone in middle school who more or less fit all my parameters for “ideal partner”. But I was terminally nervous and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, so I left it at that. Eventually I had to abruptly leave the state for reasons I don’t want to get into, and all a week or so later I made a Facebook account and found all my friends. My contact with my crush was the most constant. Eventually, I was talking with a different buddy, and they mentioned romantic problems. I mentioned I had some too, and they eventually ferreted it out of me. They told me I should confess, and I said no, both because I want to remain friends, and because I can’t do a long-distance relationship. They told me they’d go behind my back if I didn’t, and I warned them not to. Five minutes later, I get messaged by my crush. To put it short, it wouldn’t work out. I stopped talking to both, and was pretty depressed afterwards, to the point where I couldn’t feel any romance, sexuality, or companionship towards anybody. I got over it sometime later, and I think I realized I was bi around the same time. I kind of wish I could smooth things over, but it’s been so long I don’t think it’s an option anymore. Plus Facebook has a horrible interface and is terrible so I really don’t want to.

80. How many piercings do you have?

Zero.

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

No.

82. How fast can you type?

VERY.

83. How fast can you run?

Also VERY.

84. What color is your hair?

Dark.

85. What color is your eyes?

I looked in a mirror for a minute. I think it’s either grey, green, or brown?

86. What are you allergic to?

Pollen and bullets.

87. Do you keep a journal?

No.

88. What do your parents do?

My Dad makes food at the mall.

89. Do you like your age?

I wish I had all the benefits of adulthood but was still 17.

90. What makes you angry?

People acting stupid when they should know better, things not working when they should, and things going wrong when they shouldn’t. While not my intention in answering this question, this site has all three :^)

91. Do you like your own name?

My given name is pretty okay. I really like Renardie though.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I am not having children.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Three times I have said I’m not having children.

94. What are you strengths?

Imagination, expression, intellect, and pluck.

95. What are your weaknesses?

Procrastination, anxiety, and obsession.

96. How did you get your name?

For my given name, I’ll keep it brief for privacy’s sake, but my parents are comic book nerds. For Renardie, I’m simply a fan of Reynard the Fox.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

My Dad’s a King in the figurative sense, does that count?

98. Do you have any scars?

This is a repeat question. Someone get OP’s ass.

99. Color of your bedspread?

Off-color baby blue.

100. Color of your room?

White.

#renardie taking questions #oh no renardie is posting

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snkpolls · 6 years ago

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SnK S3E15 Poll Results (Anime Only Viewer Version)

The poll closed with 84 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note this is the anime only viewer version of the poll. Manga readers, please click here for the results of the manga reader poll!

RATE THE EPISODE 65 Responses

This episode got overall positive responses from the fandom, with nearly all votes at a 4-5 rating. Can WIT keep up this momentum?

Another fantastic episode.

intense

Stressful

Rude

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 64 Responses

The favorite moment of the episode inarguably goes to Bertolt activating his Bertl Bomb™! Closely behind is the short Mikasa vs. Bertolt conflict, and in third place is Annie’s hesitance to assist in killing Marco.

Reiner was right, Bertholdt really was the strongest warrior of their so-called "hometown", able to fend himself off from an Ackermann.

Wow Bertholdt is really strong, he completely dominated Mikasa in their fight.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE APETITAN AND YOUSEEBIGGIRL REARRANGES? 61 Responses

72% of respondents were thrilled to hear new versions of familiar songs from Sawano, feeling that the new versions were totally epic. Nearly 20% still prefer the originals, although they agree the new versions sounded cool.

WHAT’S YOUR OPINION ABOUT THE RECENT EARLY EPISODE LEAKS? 63 Responses

54% of respondents weren’t even aware that leaks of the episode had happened. 23% aren’t happy about the leaks happening, while 15% don’t really care.

Great. I hate sunday releases

WHO WON THE SHOUTING MATCH? 63 Responses

With nearly ¾ of the vote, Bertolt is deemed the winner of the shouting match on the rooftops!

Armin should have asked Bombholdt why they wanted to kill all humans.

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT BERTOLT’S DEVELOPMENT AT THIS POINT? 64 Responses

40% of respondents are glad to see how far he’s developed as a character. 26% are just happy to have his thoughts and more lines from him, and narrowly behind at 25% people are curious to see what will become of his character.

He’s progressed but in the way of the warriors. The more he’s with beasty and Reiner the more cold hearted he becomes.

i still hate him with all my heart

Bertholdt with conviction is really badass. He’s actually interesting now.

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT ARMIN BLUFFING ABOUT ANNIE A SECOND TIME? 64 Responses

A whopping 60% of respondents believe that Armin should have known better than to try manipulating Bertolt’s feelings for Annie to his benefit again, while the remaining 37% feel that it was worth another shot.

I think in Armin’s scenario he couldn’t think of another bluff that quickly so he resorted back to Annie, knowing that there was a chance it wouldn’t pay off.

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT CGI COLOSSAL TITAN? 63 Responses

With a surprising divide between positive and negative reactions, 42% of viewers are pleased with the CGI render of the Colossal Titan, labeling it as “awesome.” Closely behind, 30% feel that it’s very “meh.”

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE 104TH RIDING ON TITAN EREN? 64Responses

Fanart becomes a reality as the 104th take a ride on Eren’s titan form! 42% of viewers found this detail adorable, 29% think it’s pretty neat, and 20% don’t think much of it either way.

WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION WHEN IT WAS REVEALED THAT ALL OF THE WARRIOR TRIO WERE INVOLVED IN MARCO’S DEATH? 64 Responses

Much to the pollster’s delight, it seems that Reiner’s brief flashback from season 2 didn’t spoil it for everyone! A solid 25% of viewers had expected that each of them played a part in Marco’s death. 20% of viewers were genuinely surprised by the reveal. 18% picked up on the clue from season 2.

FUCK. REINER. BERTOLT. AND ANNIE.

I excepted all 3 to be involved but I DIDN’T expect them to care about killing Marco.

I loved seeing that Annie actually cared and didn’t want to take Marco’s ODM gear.

DO YOU THINK THE WARRIOR TRIO COULD HAVE NEGOTIATED WITH MARCO WITHOUT KILLING HIM? 63 Responses

The overwhelming majority believe that Reiner and Bertolt were right to believe that negotiation with Marco wasn’t possible. 14% of respondents aren’t sure either way, and 12% feel they could have come to an understanding.

THE WARRIORS TALK ABOUT AN “EVIL RACE” AND JUST WANTING TO “END IT.” WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS? 63 Responses

Nearly half of respondents believe that there’s someone above the warriors who wants humanity to perish. 20% believe that shifters are a different race than the rest of humanity in the walls, and 19% believe everyone in the walls are of a certain race, and that is why the warriors are trying to kill them. In retrospect, we should have left an option for write in answers. :P

WHAT DO YOU THINK THE SIGNIFICANCE OF REINER’S WORDS ABOUT HIS PROMISE TO YMIR ARE, IF ANY? 63 Responses

42% of respondents feel that Reiner’s desire to fulfill his promise to Ymir stem from mixed motivations. 20% believe that he genuinely just wants to save Historia, and 19% believe that he’s doing it as a way to repay her for saving them.

I feel like he’s honoring her last wish. (My theory is the Quadruped Titan night have eaten her)

REINER SURVIVED THE THUNDER SPEAR ATTACK BY TRANSFERRING HIS CONSCIOUSNESS AGAIN - THOUGHTS? 64 Responses

Over half of the fandom feel that Reiner’s abilities are simply born from plot armor. At much smaller percentages, 15% of respondents feel that it’s a reasonable explanation for his survival, 12% think it’s a super cool feature of his titan, and 10% aren’t really bothered about it.

Again, I think this is how shifting works. If your consciousness is transferred to your body then you transform, but if your mind and body are disconnected (by cutting off the nape) you die.

whatever, i just hate him with all my heart

WHAT IS THE FATE OF HANGE’S SQUAD? 63 Responses

44% of respondents are certain that most of the soldiers with Hange were killed in the blast, with maybe a couple of survivors. 30% are slightly more optimistic about the survival numbers, but ultimately feel most of them didn’t escape the blast. 15% are certain that all of them have perished, and a small 9% are optimistic about their fates.

I hate that I have to wait until Sunday to see what happened to Hange’s squad.

DO YOU THINK THE 104TH WILL BE ABLE TO DEFEAT BERTOLT? 62 Responses

43% of respondents have faith that the 104th will be able to outdo Bertolt somehow and defeat him. 29% don’t want to say confidently either way, and 17% already know what happens.

HOW HAVE YOU OPINIONS ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?

After this episode, Marco, Bertolt, Annie and Armin got large boost in regards to how well liked they are among respondents. Meanwhile, Reiner took the biggest hit, with more people finding him less favorable than more favorable, although most opinions remained unchanged. The Beast Titan, now known as Zeke, got a boost in terms of favorability. Mikasa remained mainly unchanged, but also received a good boost in favorability this episode.

BARREL BOY BEST (problematic) BOY

Jean and Mikasa are the only ones with resolve. Reiner and Bert are from the past

It feels like each character is acting realistically. They are on opposite sides of a war that they don't understand but were thrust into

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

It’s nice. Bertolt’s tranformation scene was really epic... but Hange squad might be dead... T.T

I think they could of done a better job in going into more depth about the plan? And i wish they didn't leave us hanging with what happened to Hange's squad

This may be a long one so buckle up. (im sorry)

Okay, so first off I didn’t know that quadrupedal titan could speak so that totally caught me off guard. Secondly, having seen the Lost Girls OVA, I expected Annie and at least someone else to be involved with Marco’s death. I feel really bad for Annie (and Bertolt, but mostly Annie) because it was obvious she didn’t want to kill Marco. Also Reiner’s split personality thing??? Anyways, I’m happy we finally got to see the beadt titan shifter, he kinda looks like Grisha though. The thing with Bert and Reiner was great. The Bert vs Armin yelling battle was great as well. I’m super excited for the next episode! This one was so good.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 60 Responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again in a few days!

#snk spoilers #snk s3 #snk poll #snk polls #poll results

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wondroussimmer-blog · 6 years ago

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GET TO KNOW ME-

Basically, no one actually tagged me in this, but I thought i’d give it a go anyway seeing as this is a new blog and you guys can get to now me a bit, so I tag anyone who sees this and also wants to have a go...

________________________________________________________________

1. What is your full name? I’m not putting my last name on here, but my first name is Maja (Miya) 2. What is your nickname? I don’t really have one 3. Birthday? January 1st 4. What is your favourite book series? I don’t really read book series’ 5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Not 100% sure, I don’t believe in the sort of ghosts you see in films, but I think I believe our loved ones stay with us in some way. As for aliens, idk, we can’t be the only life but idk. 6. Who is your favourite author? I find the fault in our stars quite overrated, but i’d say John Green because some of his others are my favourites! 7. What is your favourite radio station? BBC Radio 1 8. What is your favourite flavour of anything? this is such a weird question, how can you have a favourite flavour for everything? but if it’s sweet, definitely strawberry! 9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Again, weird question, but i use so many words for this, my most used are probably lovely and amazing 10. What is your current favourite song? this changes alll the time, but right this minute it’s probably sunflower by post malone and swae lee 11. What is your favourite word? is this a thing? 12. What was the last song you listened to? vacation by hippo campus 13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? big mouth, orphan black, queer eye, dexter 14. What is your favourite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? the breakfast club or mean girls probably 15. Do you play video games? only the sims 16. What is your biggest fear? probably the death of people close to me, and in the future not being able to have children 17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? probably that i’m a friendly person 18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? i’m v insecure 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? DOGS... always dogs! 20. What is your favourite season? autumn/winter 21. Are you in a relationship? yes 22. What is something you miss from your childhood? having way more friends and barely any responsibilities 23. Who is your best friend? my boyfriend 24. What is your eye colour? blue 25. What is your hair colour? brown 26. Who is someone you love? my boyfriend and family 27. Who is someone you trust? my boyfriend and closest family 28. Who is someone you think about often? okay wow, so much variety in these answers but the same as the previous two answers 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? christmas and my birthday 30. What is your biggest obsession? probably sims 31. What was your favourite TV show as a child? Probably Tracy beaker or that’s so raven 32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? my boyfriend 33. Are you superstitious? only slightly 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? cracking knuckles, moths (but only indoors), realistic looking mannequins and gas masks... so not much 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind, every single time 36. What is your favourite hobby? playing sims, graphic designing, video editing 37. What was the last book you read? The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks 38. What was the last movie you watched? Muppet’s Christmas Carol 39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? I play a bit of guitar and can play the mr bean theme song on piano if that counts 40. What is your favourite animal? dogs 41. What are your top 5 favourite Tumblr blogs that you follow? I definitely have more than 5 42. What superpower do you wish you had? be able to teleport and go invisible 43. When and where do you feel most at peace? probably at home with my boyfriend 44. What makes you smile? sorry if this is becoming a boring answer... but my boyfriend! also my dog :) 45. What sports do you play, if any? I don’t at the moment, but I have done tennis, dance (ballet, tap and modern), swimming, karate, speed skating and netball 46. What is your favourite drink? water... how boring ik 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Last month, I made my boyfriend a scrap book as one of my boyfriend’s presents for our anniversary and wrote some letters as part of it 48. Are you afraid of heights? not if it’s a secure height 49. What is your biggest pet peeve? I have wayyy too many and so many grammatical ones, I absolutely hate when people incorrectly use was and were, so if someone said ‘we was going’, I think it’s quite an essex thing but I hateeee it, I can’t stand bad grammar, but also slow walkers, people who walk through the door without looking behind them to hold the door open for people behind, other drivers not indicating, people that have to be louder than everyone else, people that chew with their mouths open... basically I have a lot and this list could go on and on and on 50. Have you ever been to a concert? I’ve seen all time low, the 1975, imagine dragons, sunset sons, ed sheeran and paramore in concert so far and i’m seeing panic! at the disco in march which i’m MEGA excited about!!! 51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? vegetarian 52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? This would change all the time, it went from radio dj, to dancer, to teacher when I was really young, then architect when I was a teenager, and now it’s clinical psychologist which i’m slowly working towards 53. What fictional world would you like to live in? I’ve not got a clue 54. What is something you worry about? EVERYTHING! I get a lot of social anxiety, so basically whenever i’m out of the house i’m worrying about absolutely everything and it’s the worst and gets me super down, so yeah, love that 55. Are you scared of the dark? okay so I don’t like leaving the dark, i’m fine being in the dark but I hate when i’m home alone and have to turn the lights off in the living room, kitchen and hall to go to bed... if that makes sense 56. Do you like to sing? i’m someone that, at home, is constantly singing, and when it’s only my boyfriend around, if one of us says a sentence that can in some way relate to a song, i’ll immediately sing it, but I suck so I won’t ever sing in public 57. Have you ever skipped school? in school I faked being ill a few times to get off of school, but in uni i’ve skipped way too many lectures over the past 3 years 58. What is your favourite place on the planet? I absolutely adore Spain, but also Belgrade (i’m half Serbian) 59. Where would you like to live? If not my current home town, i’d love to one day live somewhere like Norway or Sweden 60. Do you have any pets? yep, i’ve got a french bulldog 61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? I wake up pretty early, but I hate to start the day early 62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunsets. 63. Do you know how to drive? Yep 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? the sound of headphones but I normally use earbuds 65. Have you ever had braces? nope, thank god 66. What is your favourite genre of music? this really ranges from charts, to indie rock, to ‘former emo kid’, to early 2000s r&b, to musical theatre 67. Who is your hero? probably my boyfriend 68. Do you read comic books? no 69. What makes you the most angry? as we’ve already gathered, I have a lot of pet peeves, so a lot! 70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?a real book! 71. What is your favourite subject in school? I currently study psychology which has been my favourite subject since A levels, but during GCSEs I enjoyed maths 72. Do you have any siblings? 1 younger brother 73. What was the last thing you bought? some christmas presents for my boyfriend’s cousins 74. How tall are you? 5ft4 75. Can you cook? yes 76. What are three things that you love? spending time with people I love, travelling, collecting photos 77. What are three things that you hate? busy places, cheats, confrontation 78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? I actually barely have any so this is kind of hard to answer 79. What is your sexual orientation? straight 80. Where do you currently live? England 81. Who was the last person you texted? my mum 82. When was the last time you cried? I’m not actually sure, which is funny because I cry all the time and super easily 83. Who is your favourite YouTuber? I have so many: in terms of sims: lilsimsie, urbansims, sophsims, simkim, plumbella, in terms of lifestyle: louise pentland, in terms of fashion and beauty: samantha maria, tati westbrook, busybee carys, patricia bright, antonio garza, and others: shane dawson, sarah baska, kendall rae, jaackmaate, and loads more! basically, if i’m not on tumblr, i’m on youtube, if i’m not on youtube i’m playing sims, and if i’m not on sims i’m on tumblr... 84. Do you like to take selfies? rarely 85. What is your favourite app? any social media 86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? fab 87. What is your favourite foreign accent? Australian and Scottish 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? I have so many but I won’t bore you with another long list, so just a few: Sweden, South Africa, Iceland and Canada 89. What is your favourite number? 1 90. Can you juggle? no 91. Are you religious? I was baptised but don’t really consider myself religious 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? both as interesting as the other 93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? not really 94. Are you allergic to anything? no 95. Can you curl your tongue? yep, one of my weird ‘party tricks’ is I can actually curl it 180 degrees 96. Can you wiggle your ears? no 97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? not as often as I should 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? probably the forest 99. What is your favourite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?my dad probably gives the best life advice but there’s too much to put here 100. Are you a good liar? It depends 101. What is your Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff 102. Do you talk to yourself? All the time 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I N T R O V E R T, i’m so introverted to the point I hate it but seriously struggle to change it 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no but I have in the past 105. Do you believe in second chances? it depends 106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Hand it in 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? It depends 108. Are you ticklish? VERY 109. Have you ever been on a plane? manyyyy times 110. Do you have any piercings? nope, I have but not anymore 111. What fictional character do you wish was real? no idea 112. Do you have any tattoos? nope 113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? I’m really not sure 114. Do you believe in karma? to an extent, but at the same time bad things seem to happen to good people, sooooo 115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? neither 116. Do you want children? yes 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my cousin 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? omg my whole life is filled with embarrassing memories that I seem to always remember at the most inconvenient times or when i’m about to go to sleep that just haunt me out of nowhere...fun 119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yes 120. What colour are most of you clothes? black or white 121. Do you like adventures? yep 122. Have you ever been on TV? no 123. How old are you? 20 - nearly 21 124. What is your favourite quote? not really sure. 125. Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods? sweet

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transformers-art-showcase · 6 years ago

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P.A.T.C.H. #06: "Life After the Big Bang"

There’s a common rule of thumb when it comes to comics: you can jump in when you see a new #1 on the cover. If not, be wary –you’re not gonna get it, you’ve skipped episodes, you’re missing out. Well, you know what? Nuts to that! We here at P.A.T.C.H. like to stick it to common sense and provide a halfway decent explanation for it! So here we are, presenting a story from possibly the most popular “Transformers” comics title ever that is not a number 1 and provides a satisfying, complete story with connections to more! Enjoy! ... No, seriously, did it take us that long to talk MTMTE?!

“LIFE AFTER THE BIG BANG”

“The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye” #4-5 (2012)/ “Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye” Volume 2

Written by James Roberts, pencils by Alex Milne, colors by Josh Burcham, letters by Shawn Lee The amazing sogn for this wondrous edition of P.A.T.C.H.: https://youtu.be/tvqlt7OWTOk https://open.spotify.com/track/4p82pfEa4cayPqXLN6Rhzm

SO WHAT’S IT ABOUT? After receiving a cryptic, worrisome message, Autobot medic Ratchet, turncoat Autobot Drift and bad luck magnet Pipes land on the medical outpost of Delphi on the planet Messatine to investigate. Faced with a motley crew of doctors and patients and a deadly epidemic, our heroes have to rush both against unexpected enemies and their own worsening health... Oh, and Tailgate and Red Alert aren’t doing so hot on the ship, either. WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW? The opening blurbs mostly fill you in on everything: the recent end of the Autobot-Decepticon War, the proposal to search for the fabled Knights of Cybertron (“Death of Optimus Prime” one-shot), the open invitation by captain Rodimus into the starship “Lost Light” and its disastrous launch (“More Than Meets the Eye” #1). Other than that, the rest are character threads picked up from previous issues of the series and can be ignored for now, to focus on the stand-alone nature of the thing. Still, let’s go over some major ones. In terms of pre-existing character development, the most pressing issue would be Drift’s dramatic arc(s). Although he first appeared in “All Hail Megatron” #5, he already had a pretty long history behind him, mostly outlined in the first “Drift” mini-series. In those four issues (written by Shane McCarthy, penciled by Alex Milne, colored by Josh Perez and lettered by Chris Mowry), it was revealed that Drift started out as destitute and homeless before the War, and so the Decepticon vision of equality appealed to him greatly. (Not to mention giving him an outlet for his pent-up rage.) He was renamed “Deadlock” and garnered a reputation of cruelty and efficiency. That is, until a disobedience episode, an escape attempt and a brief stint with the Circle of Light, a group of pacifist warrior-scholars, changed that. Following that, he bumped into the Wreckers (“Spotlight: Drift”, written by Shane McCarthy, penciled by Casey Coller, colored by Joana Lafuente and lettered by Chris Mowry) and started associating with the Autobots, with whom he stayed for the next few years, up to the second confrontation with the Dead Universe forces (“Chaos”, written by Mike Costa and James Roberts, with art by Livio Ramondelli and letters by Chris Mowry, which we’ve briefly talked about here). One near-death experience later, he emerged as a cheerful spiritualist, much to one famous medic’s annoyance. Just this once, Ratchet’s wrong –this latest rendition of the character is one of his most popular ones, and even if you’re not interested in his pre-history, you can go by what is said about him easily. Though Tailgate is (rather famously) one of the breakout stars of the series, it’s not he who has the more extensive history, but his roomie Cyclonus. An ancient warrior and comrade of deranged megalomaniac Nem-, excuse me, completely stable individual Nova Prime’s, he was an undead creature under the sway of the Dead Universe for a long time (“Revelation”, written by Simon Furman and drawn by various artists). He later joined fellow Golden Age survivor Galvatron and his reformed army against Cybertron (“Chaos” and “Heart of Darkness”... I think so, at least). Following the betrayal of his commander for the love of his home planet, he joined the “Lost Light” after a misunderstanding (and beating up Whirl, but that’s perfectly normal). He’s been warned at least one on his violent tendencies by Rodimus and has expressed his doubts over the entire War; can he really make a fresh start with these people? Finally, and although that could be considered a bit of a spoiler, certain details –locations, characters, even phrases– first appeared or were mentioned in “Last Stand of the Wreckers”, and specifically its trade paperback editions. Click here to get there immediately and (hopefully) get a few good reasons to check out the book yourselves! WHERE DO I GO FROM THERE? To all of “More Than Meets the Eye”, obviously! These two issues, apart from being stand-alone, plant the seeds for so much more down the road, it’s dizzying! Keep up with the series, where all the characters mentioned here receive further development, and when you’re done, be sure to jump in on “Lost Light”, its continuation. If, however, you want to go to specific arcs from the first season of the series based on individual elements (most by the same team as this issue), I’d suggest “Shadowplay” (issues #7-9 or Volume 3) for Ratchet’s past with Drift (and Red Alert’s troubles), “Remain in Light” (#17-21 or Volume 5) for the comeback of Ratchet’s antagonist, “Before and After” and “Cybertronian Homesick Blues” (#12 and #13, both in Volume 4) for Cyclonus and Tailgate’s continuing development and “Under Cold Blue Stars” (issue #15 or Volume 4) for Pipes’ shining moment. Reader discretion is advised: at least one of these stories is known to cause intense pain in the feels. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Finally, make sure to pick up the dual 2012 Annuals for “More Than Meets The Eye” and “Robots in Disguise” (both contained in Volume 3 of their respective trade collections). Both are split in two. One half of their stories are the adventures of the present cast interacting with a Titan, a huge Transformer from the distant past. The other half, drawn by artist Guido Guidi (who also colors his work) in the style of the old Marvel “Transformers” series (as well as various “cosmic”, high sci-fi titles of the publisher), provides added world-building and backstory for the entire universe. While seemingly unrelated, the origin stories explain a few holes in the pasts of key characters (Cyclonus was young once?! And he knew Dai Atlas, too?!) and become vital later on, especially in the finale of “Lost Light”. IS IT ANY GOOD? It was a satisfying mystery that showcased how unique this world and its characters are. It featured the evolution of a true master artist. It introduced about a trillion things in 44 pages. It provided us with proof that Ratchet is, and shall forever be, one of the greatest things we have ever produced in this miserable world. WAIT, WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT DRIFT?! Oh yeah, he’s there, too! Did I forget that? Never mind, song, playlist, go!

AND YOU THINK YOU'VE FIGURED OUT EVERYTHING | PLOT AND DIALOGUE While the format of this story isn’t unfamiliar, even for this feature (this is our third mystery, after “Windblade” and “Punishment”), what separates this one is how dense it is. Within the first three pages of the story, we’re introduced to three characters, one location and an impending threat, all unrelated to the main cast so far. Various techniques –unreliable journal narration, dialogue insertion, two-page spread– are mixed to give everyone as much character as possible and make everyone suspect for what’s going on. And the onslaught of detail doesn’t stop there. This is the kind of story that would’ve been impossible with any other type of property, even a sci-fi one: the very idea of transformation is integral to how it works. Alt-mode details, in-universe cultural views, even having the ability to change shape are used both as world-building and clues for the mystery. This is the kind of story that makes the casual, vaguely interested reader into a devotee and forces them to go back and reread it to get all the foreshadowing. This applies to the dialogue, too. Roberts’ language, which we’ve seen before here, has been praised as snappy and quotable (Ratchet and Drift here, full stop), but it also shows a deep appreciation for all “Transformers” lore. The famous joke on the best names being taken, for example? Done at the expense of an obscure character from a previous generation reusing the name “Prowl”. If there’s one downside to all that, it’s that some scene transitions can be a little clumsy (Red Alert’s scenes, though important for later, come a bit out of left field), but it’s a small price to pay for the excellence on display.

Hark! What is that I see? A vessel is leaving the port! The sirens of the “S. S. Dratchet” are blaring! All aboard! FEELING SPACED BREATHING OUT LISTERINE | ART And speaking of excellence, the team of Alex Milne and Josh Burcham are on fire here. The amount of detail, fluidity and expressiveness on all pre-existing characters is incredible, but the new designs are a triumph on their own. Most will be distracted by Pharma (I know I was!), but it’s Ambulon’s story-important form that’s the real star here. In general, however, there’s incredible synergy between the art and the story. Background details (First Aid’s badge collection) and actions (again, First Aid’s fiddling in the second issue) are as important as anything else to solve the mystery, so make sure you read slowly and pay attention. In general, Milne’s able to pack an incredible amount of information into very tight pages. The best example is probably Drift attacking another character and transforming in a single, enlarged panel and a few mini, inserted ones. Lastly, the backgrounds need to be highlighted. The arrival to the outpost and the climax excluded, all scenes are set indoors, but the art doesn’t feel constrained by them. Instead, it has two different approaches to interior spaces. Everything in Delphi looks used, dented, past its prime –even the very walls feel grimy. This makes it the polar opposite to the brightly lit, spacey rooms of the “Lost Light”, full of inviting light blues and pinks (the violent outburst in Cyclonus’ room is the exception). Burcham’s richly textured work favors faded browns, sickly greens and rusted reds –the liquid of the mysterious disease looks eerily much like blood. Two flashback-montage sequences (Tailgate’s narration and the final explanation for the outbreak of the epidemic) are much freer in panel construction and dreamier in color pallet, but are once again tight and informative. Add to this some splashes of robo-gore and the unobtrusive lettering (Pharma’s silent speech bubble and use of a laser scalpel is another small miracle) and this is an artistic five-course meal.

Pssst. Nobody tell Pipes “corpse-pile” isn’t an actual game. Let him figure it out on his own. YOU'D KILLED THE BETTER PART OF ME | CHARACTERS AND THEMES But, if you’ll let me get personal for a moment, despite all the above gushing, my favorite element in this story is still its protagonist. Ratchet’s arc in IDW has been one defined by his old age, not a unique element in the franchise –same goes for his “Animated” and “Prime” incarnations, after all. Where this medic separates himself, however, is how he’s tied to the larger themes of reconstruction and moral grayness. The characters of this universe are no strangers to morally questionable actions –we have already seen one such early demonstration from the Autobots on this feature–, but the culprit behind the Delphi disease really takes the cake. He claims all sorts of survivalist justifications for his criminal actions, but the one that rubs the worst are his similarities to Ratchet –he calls attention to them to buy time and out of a need to show off, in traditional “baddie” fashion. And that hurts. After all the effort to end the war, there’s still rot, (literal and figurative) disease and evil. How long can anyone hold onto their ideals in such a world? Won’t these ideals be corrupted, sooner or later? Why not just copy the bad guy’s tactics? If such violence is justified, why not snap and kill the bastard already? Why remain selfless and sacrificial –isn’t it tiring? The villain’s charm and Ratchet’s moral dilemma play off of each other wonderfully through Roberts’ snarky dialogue, and the final stinger remains uncomfortable. In the b-plot, this theme is further emphasized with Tailgate and Cyclonus’ scenes, where the senior bot berates the younger one on choosing a faction knowing little of their world. The younger characters introduced do offer another view –that there can be hope for the future-, so there really is no final closure offered. Instead, I wish to end this paragraph with the words of another great author: “Life persists”.

Even beaten down, rusting from the inside out and minutes before death, Ratchet is still cooler and more presentable than all of us at our best. BUT I CAN'T STILL FOCUS ON ANYTHING | FINAL THOUGHTS While reading this story again for this feature, I had flashes of my first time reading it a few years back. At that point, I hadn’t been completely sold on “Transformers”, but processing the facts and the details and the character beats here, I started seeing that there was something great about them. “More Than Meets the Eye” is a special book, the perfect gateway to a rich, complex, beautiful universe and introduced me to one of my faves. This wasn’t the story that blew me away (that might come up later), but it definitely was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

#maccaddams #tf comics #IDW #MTMTE #james roberts #alex milne #josh burcham #Shawn Lee #P.A.T.C.H.#p.a.t.c.h. 06 #all aboard the dratchet #all the best names are taken #first aid mah man!#hey guys remember pipes??#might solve a mystery #problematic faves #the medic of our hearts #the precious weeb babe #the transformers are all dead

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 7 years ago

Text

New Hope (Joseph & Reader)

Description: Once you've decided to visit your auntie and uncle living in Hope County, Montana. And you met an interesting man in there.

A/N: Joseph is in his twenties in this one-shot. So he isn’t a cult leader - but he's a young man who believes that God is speaking to him and also, it's before his homeless era and even before his wife - he's really young (21, more to 22, I think - in FC he's 44). This isn't the real past of the Seeds brothers - I just think that it could be that way.

Warnings: NSFW content and swearing, just by the way. Pretty long, too.

Inspired by Strangers from Sigrid, also by Warm On A Cold Night by Honne.

It was one of your last days in Hope County, you were sitting under huge spruce and your objective was shaking. You were freakin’ freezing. Falling rain was heavy and your “water-proof” jacket was already soggy as hell. You were cursing at everything and kneeling in wet moss. But the photos were really worth it.

You came to visit your family living on the border of the county located at Montana. You've been in love with this place since the first time you've visited it. You were working as a photographer at the time and this country's wildlife just fascinated you. You haven't seen so many animals in one place before - not even at the zoo. There were bears, mosses and you even captured some salmons jumping out of the water - you and your chief were both contented with the results and your payment was already highest of all you had before.

Right now, you have a Karibu in your sight - hiding under a huge tree with some baby Karibu. It was so magnificent, that you had to follow them through the forest for many hours - and now was the time to fire your shot. The objective was on them and you didn't move and ich - and all of the sudden... You sneezed. Karibu family have been gone in a second.

„Well, fuck me right in the ass.“ You mumbled to tissue as you were getting up. It was almost hour to your car - so you got up and went back on the road. There was a town nearby as your map said. More like a few houses together than a town, you thought yourself - but took the chance to have a rest in a local pub. The town was about a half mile away from the place where you were now.

You arrived in the town after less than ten minutes. Your camera was already swimming in the case, you would bet that. You invaded the pub like a big bang - you stumbled over the door’s threshold and you have fallen on the ground. You heard a loud breaking sound. You didn't give a single fuck about the people in the pub an sat on your buttocks, opening the camera case, mumbling just no, no, no, no - over and over again.

„Pissflaps!“ You shouted all over the place and everyone has gone silent. Of course that you have broken your objective. Your favorite one - the one that your dad gave you a few years ago as your first. The lens has broken right in the center - it was a unique opportunity to take beautiful photos through cracked objective, but still. You wanted to cry but you closed your eyes and got up.

The others started to talk once again and you've sat in the corner of the pub. You ordered a beer and hot tea, sitting in one of the boxes away from the bar. You took the camera in your palm and started to browse the gallery. You have been pissed off and you were adoring the photos of Hope County at one moment.

There was a whole bunch of your cousin's smiling face. You looked at another one - your uncle was repairing his old pick-up named Tango, his face and clothes all oiled up - he was all messy and he covered you in that mess too. After a few other photos, there was your auntie, baking the traditional family pie with plates of lemon all around. Then there was her in her church clothes. Then there was you in church clothes - a long, wine red skirt long a little bit under your knees and white shirt with a light, pink sweater.

You are my sweet little girl, your mommy has always told you on Sundays. You never believed in God, you really didn't, but you came to the church when your auntie or mommy wanted you to come.

„What a nice girl,“ a quiet voice whispered in your ear and scared the hell out of you. He didn't actually whisper - but you freaked out anyway. You put your hand on your chest and breathed deeply. „Oh, that’s you!” He laughed all of the sudden and you were convinced that the man in front you is some sort of psycho. You were looking at him without a single word - the man bent for your camera and he looked at the picture in details. He was smiling.

„Berk, what the fuck are you doing?! That’s my camera!“ You finally came to oneself and got your camera back. You didn't look at him and sat down. Your clothes were still soaking wet and water was dripping from your bun. Your cheeks were red as the communist manifesto and your body was on fire, it was coming to oneself after three hours spent in the depths of the woods in the heavy rain. You reached for the camera case and started to put it in.

„Pardon me, lady. I just can't control my curiosity sometimes.“ He said and you heard him laughing. Asshat.

„Well, learn it then. This is just rude.” You mumbled and he chuckled a little.

„Can I sit down?” He asked calmy - his voice was husky and it was really nice to listen. You finally closed up the case and looked at him. It was a really young man - probably one, two years older than you at maximum. He wore a denim jacket with wool lining, a shirt with blue and black squaring and a black t-shirt under it. His jeans were black and tight - his shoes were brown, typical shoes for a hike in the woods. He had a few rings on his hand and his big, manly palm was holding a beer. Then you have finally looked into his face.

It was a hell of a man. He had a beard and you could say by one look, that he cared about it a lot. His hair was combed into a man bun - it had brown, wild color with glasses with yellow glass and metallic frames. His eyes were like water - lightly blue, almost like drops of the rain outside. He was charming, handsome... And asshat, you remembered to yourself.

„Suit yourself, creep.“ You took a sip of hot tea and then a gulp of beer.

„You're spirited and fiery - I like that.” He sat and looked directly into your face.

„Well, you're rude and weird, probably a thief... And I don't definitely like that.“ You took another gulp of the beer in front of you. He chuckled once again. His smile was crooked, his lower lip was definitely waving at your lips.

„I am not a thief, I assure you. I am Joseph, Joseph Seed. And you are..?” He gave you his palm and wait patiently. You hesitated a bit, but then you accepted his hand. You shook it a bit and maybe you smiled a little.

„Y/N Y/S/N. Not so nice to meet you, but I'll give you the second chance, ok?” You asked and he smiled a bit. His head nodded almost immediately. Both of you put your hands on the bottle of beer.

„Well, well, well... What a lady like you does here, in Whitetail mountains? This town is a pretty out-of-the-way place.“

„A lady like me? What are you talking about, Joseph?” You said his name and he heeled over to you.

„I mean - the women out here aren’t like you, look at yourself. It’s God’s land out here - I swear, I didn't hear cursing since I didn't see my older brother. You are... I can feel your energy. The east gals are pretty fierce too - but right now I’m staying on the North. But...”

„But?“

„You aren’t from Hope County.“ He said confidently. You opened your mouth and then smiled a little. He had some skills - and he was good with people. You haven't no idea how much did he actually charm you - until he showed you his full smile. He was an asshat - but a handsome and charming asshat. „Ok, you uncovered me, mister Seed. But how do you know... How can you be so sure?“

„Let’s face it - berk is a typical British cursing word. And, you're suntanned. How would you get suntanned in this part of the year in North America... In those woods? But... I can’t figure out where are you from, cause you don't have any British accent - I think that you're from South America - I mean, like Florida or whatever.” He summarized all thing and you raised your eyebrows.

„Right, those are some skills. You’re right. I am from Miami, but my family lived here in Hope County and a big part of it still lives in Fall’s End or here at Whitetail mountains. Only I and my parents have left the ’rough North’. But my dad has a half-brother Charlie from London... And that man is a swearing machine. But he's really clever.“ You leaned on the seat and smiled at him. He was a likable man - the one who is shrewd and observant to details. There was something about him and you were smiling like an idiot.

„A lot of people is saying that. I am just like that - I do track details on them. That makes me pretty good with them. And I am a pretty nice and charming man, that sets me in a pretty good position. They believe me and... I can’t tell you all of my tactics!“ He laughed all of a sudden and drank once again. Your cheeks were rosy and your eyes were shining like two stars. You were starting to like him, but you were pretty confused about him. Was he joking or was he dropping clues about his personality? Was he manipulative?

„Now, you were saying something about staying here on the North... You're not from here?“ You asked quick. He looked into your eyes and smiled a bit.

„You were listening, I see... No, I’m not. My brothers and I... We are from the East. My younger brother in the local children's home.“ He stopped smiling and tears appeared in his eyes. He went from smiling calm person to a broken, angry man whose mouth was shut in line.

„I didn't mean to be rude, excuse me, Joseph.“ His look went into your face and he looked like a psycho. The emotions were running in him - millions of them in one second. He was sad, then angry, then he looked strangely melancholic and at least, he looked into your face like an empty human case. Then he smiled again and you sighed in relief.

„Don't be sorry, I am. It happened a long time ago and I'm still feeling really emotional about it." He stood up and drank the last gulp of his beer. „Well, mine beer is totally empty, but we've just met and the night is too young, don't ya think. Do you want me to take another beer for you?"

„No, not beer, I'll have an apple cider, please. Thank you, gentleman." You smiled at each other, and the rest of your beer disappeared in you. You gave him your empty bottle and when your hand went forward to his, your fingertips touched his palm. He was touching your palm too, and you could feel the little fire which came from that interaction. Then he slowly walked to the bar.

You watched him silently, your palm was stroking your cheek and your eyes were slightly closed. He walked slowly, his butt and hips were moving in little circles. He's walking like a freakin' cowboy... And you found it really attractive - all of the sudden. Well, it was the first cowboy that ever attracted you. Not even your internet date from Texas didn't get you as excited through the whole night as that Joseph boy did under a half of an hour. You sighted for yourself, and when he was away enough, you started to try to look like a human. You set your hair free, let the waterdrops falling on a wet t-shirt. The rest of your clothes was thrown all over nearby heating.

You knew that your skin looked unhealthy pale, there were some pimples on your forehead and there was no make-up in the vicinity of five miles. You started to panic - all sudden, your confidence was gone and the only thing you wanted was not to like a potato. But although you looked like a total cadaver, it looked that he likes you. You went redder even though you thought that it isn't possible.

He came back after a pretty long time. With a cider for you, a beer for him and two shots of green liquid. You almost calmed down, when showed up.

„Well, how much am I going to pay you?”

„It's my treat, (Y/N). You will pay me back by an hour, or two of talking and listening. I would like to get you to know something about me. And, in the opposite direction, of course.“ He smiled and gave one of the shots to you. It smelled like your toothpaste. „On meeting new people?“ „On meeting new Josephs.“ You smiled back and let your hair fall on your shoulder.

He was really suave and after some alcohol, he started to become more and more handsome. You were talking almost the whole time - and he was a flawless listener. He laughed where he had to, he comforted you when he had to and his eyes smiled at you the whole time. You just didn't shut up.

„And that's the whole story.“ You finished. You finished the whole story of how your father took you and your siblings fishing. And you got a dog named Cargo in there.

„Yeah... He was.“ Your cider was empty. „Now you. How was your childhood like?“ You looked deeply into his eyes. The happy cowboy was gone in a second - he shut up and thought a few minutes. Then he smiled gloomily, and finally sight.

„But my life isn’t some kind of fairytale. And it is not going to be “happily ever after,” I think, you know? We moved here from a small town in Georgia. I have two brothers - Jacob, who is in war and John, that's the young one. I have talked to Jacob many months ago for the last time. He's gone missing two months ago, and I hope that he's alive somewhere out there. I pray for him every single evening. John is nine years old now. It was that one evening I drove Jacob to an airport in Montana when John stayed at home with parents... And they have beaten him up as a dog. Or that's the story I've heard from him. They've beaten him up just because he refused something, he said no. My parents... They were really strange. They were strongly believing Christians. Their love for Jesus was stronger than their love for anything else - even stronger than love for their own children. I didn't grow up in our so-called home... Let me tell you why. When I was a little boy, I didn't want to go back to our house after school because they were beating me, they forced me to read the Bible over and over again. To keep down and be quiet. I ran away many times - but police caught me and dragged me back to that house. How I said, they have beaten you really hard after you did something against God’s will. I was their main concern before John was born - Jacob knew how to defend himself. But he couldn't defend me. I was afraid to come back from school. I ran away from home when I was eighteen. I ran for days and night, further and further. Only Jacob knew where I was. But he had to go back to Iran, and John stayed alone. A six-year-old boy with those freaks for freakin’ three years... He’s a sensitive child. He is curious, full of love inside - but on the outside? Those freaks made him look like a body without a soul. The nuns told me, that he refused to eat for the first few months. He only ate when he was starving... Now, I’m trying to get him into foster care. I will be a good brother to him - after all those years.“ He said with cracked-up voice. He lowered his head into his lap and it looked like wanted to cry and tried not to really hard. He pushed his jaws against each other and he was breathing loudly.

You get up and sit next to him, your head was leaning back on his shoulder and your palm was stroking his back only in the shirt. He was warm and he smelled nice - you started to warming up next to that cowboy. It was the alcohol you had, in a part. And you liked him too. Maybe he was an asshat - but you changed your opinion and you started to like him about an hour ago.

You decided not to ask more. Not to ask about his brothers or parents. No more questions. „It’s ok, Joseph. Don't get stuck in your memories. You are persuading me that you aren't a creep and thief, don't you remember?“ You whispered and he laughed lightly. Your heart melted a little and you pushed yourself closer to him. You kissed him into hair and your look entwined.

„Can I tell you something else?“ He was millimeters away from you and you felt his breath and you even smell it. An oh boy, it was turning you on so bad. But you controlled your temper and smiled innocently.

„Of course you can. I am here for you.“

„Sometimes I can hear sort of a... A voice inside my head. It is talking to me (Y/N). Sometimes it whispers... Sometimes it shouts. I can hear it since I was seven years old - since my father beat me up with a belt for the first time. I don't think that I'm losing my sanity. The voice is helping and it is telling me something about a future plan it has for me - that I will be a savior. But I have to walk my path on this earth to be the savior. You know? Maybe I will make a difference in the future. I think that God’s chosen me as his Prophet.“ He looked on his shoes again and shut up for a moment. „Does it sound as crazy as I think it does?“

You didn’t want to answer him directly, yes or no. He was a broken man inside and you felt it from his words and from the voice timbre he had. Both of you stayed quiet for a while. You held his palm in yours and smiled a bit.

„Is that voice talking to you right now, you creep?“

„You would bet your ass it does.“ You heard the first and the last curse word from his mouth in his husky and calm voice.

„What does it say?“ You swallowed and your eyes met again.

„That this is a good idea.“

And so, you walked hand in hand out of the pub. The rain was pouring from the sky even more than before, mud and puddles were everywhere. You two ran through the city and both of you were giggling like children. You ran into some tall grass and you were all soaked up again. But you actually didn't give a fuck about that.

The cowboy was holding your hand as tight as no one before, he was laughing and looking at you as if you were some sort of an angel. He kissed you in the pub passionately - and oh boy, he was a good kisser. Everything was shining and you couldn't get your eyes off him. You were drunk and excited after a really long time and it was beautiful.

You two ran into a carn.

„My room is up there. Come on, (Y/N).“ He took your hand and pulled you to the stairs. And he didn't lie - there was a door to the added room for rent. He unlocked it and invited you inside. There were a bed and a mirror, two windows with a view oriented to the wilderness and a small bathroom. That was all.

You finally looked at yourself - and sweet baby Jesus, you were looking like a total piece of shit. Your tracking trousers weren't lightly blue anymore - the mud was all over them and they were soaking wet. The water was dripping out of your hair and then you've seen your face. You smiled at yourself - you were looking like a seventeen years old girl. Your cheeks were rosy and your eyes were melting with excitement. Your hair was everywhere and still - somehow you were turning that cowboy on.

„Come. Don't be shy and make yourself home.“

„I can’t. I am totally dirty. The mud would be everywhere.“

He smiled and you looked at him. His hair was out of the man bun - and you were lost in that moment so hard. He was slowly walking like a cowboy, smiling a little. He was... He was anything but creepy or looking like an idiot. He so sexy in that moment, that you started to beg God to let him fuck you as hard he could.

He took you your camera case and carefully lied it on his bedside table. He went back to you, unzipped your jacket. It fell by its own will. He slowly unzipped your hoodie and helped you out of it. You stood there, cold as hell, the rain was pouring outside and the thunderstorm began. And still, you were fascinated by that man. He kissed you one more time meanwhile his palms were playing with the hem of your T-shirt, slowly peeling off the wet material off your body. It was gone in an instant and both you were shirtless.

You caressed his hair with your fingers, locked them here and you even pulled a little. You felt his fingers on your trousers zip and you were defenseless, without breath. You sighed with lust in your belly when his ice cold fingertips touched your burning skin. Then he lowered himself on his knees, his lips were wandering all over your curves, putting soaked trousers away of your body. Then he took off your shoes and socks. You almost fell down, when he stood up. He did the same thing as he was lowering down - he closed his eyes and wander on your shin and thigh, going up to your belly and your breasts. You stood there only in your underwear, barely breathing.

„As I said before, angel. Make yourself at home.“ He smiled and went off taking his clothes. So you moved towards the bed, feeling insecure clothed only in your underwear. You would never define yourself as "pretty" or "sexy". You were just a normal woman. You had scars on your body and your hair wasn't shaved perfectly and your pimples were lighting as Christmas lights. So you sat on his stone hard bed. And covered yourself with his thick blanket, it was innocently white and it was really soft and cold. You covered yourself all over and watched the cowboy.

His pants were slowly leaning to the ground, the belt was making noises when it touched the ground, and then he took the pants off at the same time with his shoes. His bare feet were sticking to the cold ground, so you heard every step he took.

A few moments later he was sitting on the bed with you, touching your bare shoulder. He was warm. And looking at you.

„Don't worry and show yourself to me as God made you.“ He winked at you, the alcohol gave him courage. As you understood, he was a religious man who believed that God’s speaking to me - so he was a big part of his life. So he accepted you as a God’s creation no matter how bad you thought you look.

The blanket fell down on you, and you leaned closer. His skin was on at least a boiling point.

„Come on, my dear. You are as beautiful as you are.“ His hands hugged you hardly and his body tumbled you on the bed. He was heavy - but not as heavy as the lovers you had before.

It wasn't as tough act as you hoped, but you never knew you could have so much pleasure from an ordinary missionary position - and you finally knew that the mistake wasn't in you as you always thought. It was a slow, pleasing act for both of you - sometimes he came in too fast and you both giggled. You could feel him breathing on your skin, sometimes you heard his sights interrupted by the thunderstorm outside. And the only time you could see him gasp for air was only when the flash hit the ground.

The acme came from all the sudden, both of you shook in delight, screaming as loud as you could. Your fingers were interlaced in convulsion and you couldn't believe that it was that fast. You lied to him, hugged his waist and closed your eyes. You felt safe when he hugged you back and kissed your forehead.

„Thank you.“ He whispered and you rested your chin on his thorax, looking into his beautiful eyes. His hair was everywhere around his head - he looked like a Jesus. He was smiling, slowly sketched fingers on your shoulder. The cowboy was looking the most charming and handsome from the whole evening. „For what?“ You asked back.

He didn't respond but kissed you on the forehead once again. Then you got up and spread every piece of your clothes on the ground to get it dry. Both of you were naked, you chatted as if you were longtime friends - you trusted him after one night in one bed. When it was finished, you came back to bed and leaned under the blankets together. Both of you fell asleep really fast.

When you woke up, the sun was shining high in the sky and the birds were singing outside. But you woke up all alone. The cowboy was already gone - you couldn't see him. He folded your clothes on one pile and prepared you a breakfast - juice with bread and honey.

After a while you have eaten, you discovered that he took your camera out of the case and lay it on the bedtime table. You took it into your palms and switched it on. There were all the photos you remembered - except the last. It was him, photographed in the mirror next to the door. Shirtless, only in his pants with his man bun and the yellow glasses on. He was smiling - and you were smiling too. he was cute.

Then you found a note under the camera case. The note he left you.

Dear (Y/N), it said. I had to leave immediately because they called me from John’s children's home. We are finally heading back to the east - after the night I spent with you, I'm looking forward to the future. We will be good. Please, pray for us and pray for Jacob. Think of me, and I'm looking forward to seeing you once again in the future.

That you, thank you for the new hope you gave me by your presence.

Yours truly, Joseph.

#joseph seed imagine #joseph seed #far cry 5 #fc5 #imagine #religion #hope county #young joseph seed #joseph and his brothers #nwsf #uncharted reference #charlie cutter

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soprano193 · 7 years ago

Text

100 Ways to Say... (44/100)

So this has literally taken 7 months to complete. I didn’t like it because I felt like Kate was wallowing for like, way too long, and I didn’t know how to fix it. This is my attempt. As this goes right along with chapter 43, I strongly suggest re-reading it, because otherwise this makes no sense. Thank you for putting up with my flakiness!

I picked these for you

Life went on in the neighborhood. As Rick moved out, a new family moved in, this one with much younger kids. Kate offered to babysit. She brought over some of the instruments that Martha had given her, but the kids just weren’t interested. They’d rather watch tv all day. Without the music and theatrics, it just seemed like the house lost it’s life. She stopped babysitting.

When Kate started school, she found herself looking for him in the school newspaper office, even though she knew he wasn’t there. Every once in a while, a head would turn a certain way and she swore it was him. Her friends even noticed a difference in her demeanor. They never mentioned him around her, it was like he had died. Which only made her want to talk to him even more.

A week into her sophomore year, while she was in the middle of her history homework, the phone on the table next to her rang. “Beckett residence, Kate speaking.”

“I was starting to think you forgot about me.” Her friend’s voice on the other line had her grinning, and abandoning her homework. “How is life in suburbia?”

“Exactly as you left it. How is the city?”

He rambled on about how loud it was, his new school, and the opportunity he had to intern at the newspaper office at NYU. Kate told him about her first debate club meeting, and how she was thinking of joining field hockey. They talked about their favorite teachers, his new friends, babysitting the kids in his house, and college preparations. When the subject switched to his writing, Kate’s eyes fell on the three ring binder that contained his manuscript. “I loved your story. The characterizations were spot on, and your imagery was stunning.”

“Thanks! Could you tell who was who?” She could almost see him on the other line, his chest puffed out with bravado at her praise.

“Some of them. Devon was definitely Dylan Cummings.” His affirmation had her continuing. “Sarah was Emily Byrne. And Jacob was Joshua Holmes.”

“You’re good at this game.” He laughed, making her smile.

“Or it’s just a small town.” Things got boring in small towns. She envied him, and the chances he had in a larger city. “We know everyone.”

“Yeah. I miss that though. I don’t like that I don’t know anyone.” His voice trailed off, a hint of sadness creeping out, and she longed for him to be closer, just so he could spend some time with a familiar face.

“You’re a friendly person. You’ll have that whole school loving you in no time.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.” He sighed, and she could hear his bed squeaking as he moved. “I have to do homework, though. Talk later?”

“Is that a question? Of course.” She laughed, sitting back in her seat and staring at her ceiling. “I miss you, Rick.”

“I miss you more.” Her heart clenched at his words, and she choked back the feelings that were threatening to escape. “Make good choices.”

She laughed. “Please. From you, that’s rich. Bye, Rick.” She hung up the phone, her head shaking as she thought back on the conversation. It brought her a sense of comfort only a conversation from a best friend could bring. It also brought her an inkling of longing. She missed him. Sometimes she wondered how their relationship would be different if he hadn’t moved, if their ill-fated date hadn’t ended like it had. She definitely would be spending more time in that treehouse, working on homework and making plans for their future. At these thoughts, her heart clenched, the loss of her friend becoming more and more real. She pushed the thoughts away and refocused on her history homework, Rick Rogers’ blue eyes relegated to the furthest corner of her mind.

They talked once a week all year. He didn’t make friends as easily as she had hoped. In fact, he sort of fell in with the wrong crowds. It wasn’t long before she heard that he was going somewhere else. “Yeah, the kids and teachers there didn’t appreciate me as much as I thought they would.” That’s what he told her at first. At the second school change in a year, he told her, “I was just trying to be funny.” This time, his reputation for mischief followed him. People expected it from him. Kate had stopped asking him about school a long time ago.

It was in their junior year that they started talking about romance. “Kate, I need a woman’s opinion.”

In a way, his words disappointed her. Some part of her still imagined them getting together, even after two years without seeing him, their one night out together ending a different way than she imagined. But Rick was her friend, and freinds gave advice, so she ignored the clench in her gut and spoke. “Shoot.”

“So I’m dating this girl, Lizzie, and we got into a fight about the dumbest thing. But I was wrong, and I want to apologize, and I’m just not sure the best way to go about it.”

She paused for a moment, fighting the urge to ask him what they fought about, and instead took the time to formulate her response. “Well, if the fight was really as trivial as you say, is there a reason you need more than just a sincere apology?”

He hesitated on the other line. “Well, no, not really. It’s our first fight, and I want her to know I’m not angry or holding a grudge. And that I’m really sorry.”

“Well if you go out of your way for some huge, romantic apology now, she’s going to expect it every time. You should save the romantic stuff for the bigger fights.”

“You’re right. I knew there was a reason I missed you.” She could almost hear his smile on the other end, and wished more than anything to see it in person. “Unrelated question, if I wanted to get her flowers one day, just because, what should I get her?”

“Lilies. I love Lilies.” Kate answered without hesitation, her smile curling into her cheeks. “Of course, I always liked your hand picked bouquets best. No one does that for us anymore.”

“Yeah well that's a little bit harder to do in the city. I don't have wildflowers growing in my backyard.”

She laughed. “Well, that's a shame.”

“Yeah, it's one of those things that I miss about the suburbs.” He hesitated, and she took a moment to shift her position on her bed. “So, um, what about you? Seeing anyone?”

“Wouldn't you like to know?”” She laughed, picturing his smirk at her answer, how his blue eyes would have studied her face for clues.

“Yeah, kind of. Not for nothing, Kate, but you’re pretty extraordinary. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

She felt the heat rising to her cheeks, his words kinder than she expected. “Well, so far you're the only one who thinks that. No boys for me.”

“I hope you find someone soon, Kate. You deserve to be happy.”

His words warmed her heart and sent a tear down her cheek, as she longed for someone to see her the way he did. She shifted on her bed and her textbook fell on the ground, Making a loud thump and reorienting her to reality. “Sorry, Rick, I might have to cut this call short. I have tons of schoolwork.”

“Of course, I understand. Don't be a stranger, Kate.”

“I won't. I promise.”

At first she kept that promise. They talked at least once a week. She knew when Lizzie broke up with him, and knew that it bothered him more than he let on. He knew about how Dylan Cummings started pursuing her, and teased her when she started to fall for it. She knew when he got kicked out of another school, and tried not to encourage it. She told him when she was kissed for the first time. She didn’t tell him that it made her think for the first time in a year, that maybe she could find love with someone other than him.

But gradually the calls started decreasing. Usually just because it was hard to keep up. Sometimes it was because he was in trouble, and on a phone restriction. But really, as time wore on, she didn't feel the loss as as hard as she once did.

The summer between junior and senior year they lost touch entirely. Martha’s show was on some world tour, and Rick was in all corners of the world. It made timing difficult, and after he had called them once at three in the morning because of a bad calculation, he never called again. And it never quite picked up the same way once school started again. She knew he was trying to study English at some small private school upstate, and he was the first person she called about her acceptance to Stanford, but their phone calls had reduced to once a month.

“I’m inviting you to my graduation party. The open invitation for you to stay at or loft is still open.” He told her one day right before graduation.

“And I’ll invite you to mine. We’ve always had that spare bedroom, you know.”

“I know. I miss it there. It’s the only place I’ve ever really considered home.” His breath on the other end was steady as he reminisced, and she could see his blue eyes staring off in the distance in her mind’s eye. “I wouldn’t miss your party for the world.”

Of course, they planned their parties on the same day. Even miles away they thought the same, and worked against each other. They laughed about it over the phone and made half-hearted apologies on the phone. But she started wondering if it was all ever meant to be.

Maddie kept telling her to let go. “Friends fade away sometimes. It’s not the end of the world.” The blonde told her at her party, leaning back in a lawn chair. “You’re moving to California. You need people in your life that live in your zip code.”

“Maddie. We’ve known each other since we were in diapers. I don’t want to lose him.”

“You won’t. A bond like that is heard to break off completely. But you need to give others the chance to be in your life like that. If you need him, he’ll still be there.”

“I know.” He would still be there for the good news. He would still invite her to his place in the city with open arms. He would still be a part of her life, even if most of that part was in the past. She would never truly lose him.

She left him a message a few days before she moved, with her new phone number in Stanford and new address. When she was settled across the country she tried again. Martha’s number had been disconnected. She had somehow lost track of him. For the first time in her life, she was all alone.

Throwing herself into her studies was the easiest way to get over it. And pre-law was tougher than public school in a small town. They wanted her to read more than what was possible each night. She joined study groups, where she was responsible for two readings and summaries of those readings. It cut the caseload a bit, but she still had to know those summaries like the back of her hand. She got a job at a coffee shop, mostly for the employee discount. There wasn’t much time for socializing. Her roommate was pre-med, and loved finding the grossest diseases to research and tell Kate all about, one new one each week. She wouldn’t have had time to talk on the phone anyway. She barely called her parents as it was.

That summer she didn’t go home. Keeping her job was important, and getting to know the locals was something she thought might help her feel more at home. It didn’t have that small town feel like she was used to, but in the end it all worked out. She liked the bustle of a city, the way it breathed, ebbed, and flowed. There was always something to do, no matter where you were in life. She made friends outside of school, friends who still thought she was cool even though they hadn’t known her from the time she was born. And while she was homesick, she didn’t want to leave.

One day her phone rang as she was on her way out the door. She snatched it from the wall, and pressed it between her ear and her shoulder. “Hello, Kate speaking.”

“Katie!” Her mother’s voice on the other end was two decibels higher than normal. “He did it, he really did it.”

Kate groaned, tugging on her shoes. “Mom, I’m gonna be late for work. Who did what?”

“Ricky. Ricky wrote a book, Katie.”

Her mother's words had her stopping in her tracks, her work apron falling to the ground. "He did?" She felt her chest swelling up with a sense of pride, thinking back to the days when he was just getting started. The fact that he had managed to do it after only one year in college was another amazing feat. "What is it called? I'll pick it up on the way to work."

"In a Hail of Bullets. I've just started reading it, it's really good."

"I know, Mom, I used to proofread his stories. He's always had talent." She glanced at the clock and snatched her apron off the floor. "I'm running late though, and now I have another stop to make. I'll call you later."

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too, Mom." She didn't even check to see if the phone went back on the hook before she was out the door.

The small bookstore on the way to work had the book on it's own little table, six books across and about four or five books high. The sign declared it a new release. The cover didn't leave much to the imagination, just tan block letters on a brown background, a few silver bullets on the bottom right corner. The name at the top was foreign to her, Richard Castle, and for a moment she worried that her mother had been mistaken. That was, until she opened the front cover, and saw her oldest friend smirking on the flap, his blue eyes as mischievous as ever. Richard Castle got his start writing for school newspapers in college and High School. He won the Despoy Literary Award at NYU for his collection of short stories, and was the only first year in two decades to be honored in such a way. He lives in New York City with his girlfriend, Kyra. In his spare time he enjoys watching science fiction shows, spending time with his friends, and exploring the city's landmarks. It was the most she had heard about him in a year.

Turning a few more pages, she came across a few sentences that stopped her heart. To KB, who inspired me to chase my dreams. I hope that life treats you kindly. You deserve it. Clutching the novel to her chest, she carried it to the check-out, no longer worried about being late.

The book sat out on her coffee table like it was her most prized possession. Unfortunately, she never did read much of it past the first three chapters. It was amazing, and when she read it she could hear it in his voice, but she just didn't have time for reading. Especially once school started up again. Between schoolwork, her job, and any sort of appearance of a social life, reading for pleasure was low on her list of priorities.

When she finished the semester with honors, she decided she needed a break from her responsibilities. She booked a trip home for all of winter break. It was surprising to her how little the town had changed in the last year. The old bridge over the water still creaked when they drove over it. The factory was still running, but looked run-down and abandoned. The High School looked the same, except for the new benches out front that must have been donated by the class after her. But they had added a few stop signs at some dangerous intersections, so at least there was progress.

When they pulled into her Dad's cabin, she felt at home for the first time in a year. It had always been one of her favorite places. The cabin was smaller than their house, cozier, with a fireplace, and a wide open area great for exchanging gifts. In her room were two beds that almost touched, one for her and a friend (or her cousin Sofia) with matching purple and green quilts. Her parents slept in the next room over, and the couch in the living room pulled out for family members. It wasn't Christmas without a trip to the lake.

When they arrived, she helped her Dad set up the tree, and helped make a list of the things they needed from the store. While her mother shopped and her father measured the thickness of the ice, Kate curled up on the couch in the living room with Rick's book. It was easy to fall into, the imagery clear, and the situations realistic enough. And she found herself falling a bit for Detective David McAllister, the rugged cop with the piercing blue eyes, who was racing to solve the murder and save his own life.

"Please don't tell me you're just reading that now." Her mother's voice snapped her to reality, and she wondered just how long it had been since she last looked up. "It's been out for months."

"I know, and I have been swamped." Taking a moment to mark her page, Kate rose to help with the groceries. "I work full time and go to school."

"You don't have to work full time." Her mother rebuffed, organizing the canned goods. "Your father and I could help you out, you know. It's too much."

Kate threw the meat and eggs into the refrigerator, leaving out the chicken for dinner that night. "You already help me out. You pay half my rent. You're paying for school. I need money for my half of rent and some way to blow off steam with my friends. I don't want to give up my job."

Johanna stopped what she was doing to face her daughter, cupping Kate's face in her hands. "I just worry. I don't want you to burn out."

Kate leaned into her mother's caress. "That's ridiculous. I'm fine." Johanna's hands fell, and she returned to the bags, searching for things that belonged in the cabinet she had open. "Besides, I'm the product of you and Dad. I'm gonna be a workaholic."

This had her mother laughing. "Oh please, Kate. You'll only get so much enjoyment from that. Don't aspire to be like us."

As Kate left to bring her book to her bedroom, she stopped to kiss her mother’s cheek. “Too late.” She could hear her mother giggling all the way down to her room.

It was nice after such a long time away to spend time with her family. Sofia told stories about traveling in Paris that had the travel bug inside her yearning for more. Aunt Theresa caught Kate up on what she had missed in the boyfriend-from-hell story. Her Nona cooked pancakes on Christmas Eve morning that were better than anything she could make on her own. Her Cousin Timothy ate her dust on the ice. All in all, it was a great visit.

Her favorite part of the holidays was when her Mother would pull out a guitar, and they would all sing Christmas Carols. The chords were lively, and everyone had fun, regardless of their skill level. Silent Night was always her favorite, and the cue that the party was over. Johanna and Sofia sang the top part, their melody bright. Aunt Theresa had taught Kate the alto part when she was a child, and now it just came natural to her, their voices complementing the melody but never overpowering it. It was the song the boys usually stayed out of, just to listen to the four of them sing. When they hit their final chord, Johanna packed up the guitar, and Kate kissed her family goodbye. She only stayed up a little bit later with her parents before slinking off to bed, her body weary.

Winter break was over quicker than she thought it would be. A month seemed like plenty of time to catch up with old friends, but in practice it was over before she had much of a chance to hang out. Before she knew it, it was time to have that last dinner with her parents before jetting off to California again.

Jim drove her to dinner, dressed in his best suit and tie, and even held the doors open for her. He’d always tried to show her how she should be treated by a man, and she loved that he was still keeping that tradition up. He listened quietly as she told him all about her friends in California, and how her classes were going. He offered advice about how to study cases and keeping their details straight. At one point he looked over at her and grinned, his smile tender as it always is. “You know, when you were little, I never imagined you would be where you are. I mean, you always see your kids graduating, and imagine what they’ll be like, but you’re going to Stanford. The real Stanford. And you’re kicking asses there just like I knew you always could. I just want you to know that I’m proud.”

His words had her blushing and sitting up taller. She looked at him as he stared ahead. “Thanks, Dad.”

They got to the restaurant before her Mom, who was finishing some work in the city. Jim ordered her some champagne for whenever she would arrive, and they looked over the menu. An hour passed with no word from Johanna, and Kate’s stomach began to growl. The waiter brought another basket of bread. Her Father’s face twitched in annoyance as he looked over the menu once more. At some point she watched as his annoyance turned to concern. He looked at his watch several times a minute and kept staring at the door. Kate didn’t know what to talk about, so they sat in silence. After another half hour, they ordered. “Mom’s loss.” her Dad joked, but his laugh wasn’t joyful, it was nervous.

He drove home going five miles over the speed limit the whole way. Not enough to be panicked, but enough that it worried Kate. Her stomach began to turn and her hair stood up on end as she watched him mutter under his breath. When they saw a police cruiser sitting outside of their house, her stomach dropped out from under her, and her vision tunnelled. Now Jim was muttering obscenities, his hands gripping the steering wheel so his knuckles turned white. The officer standing on their front step began to approach. Kate knew it wasn’t good, but had no idea how much her world was about to change.

She had never see her father cry before that day, and she was so far gone she couldn’t even console him. Her Mother had been murdered, taken from her by someone else for selfish reasons that they didn’t even know yet. And suddenly, she felt all alone in the world.

The next few days were a blur. They had to go into the city to identify her body. They had to arrange to pick up her remains, once the autopsy was complete. They planned a funeral together. Kate watched her father sink deeper into the bottle every day. And none of her friends knew how to react.

Her professors at least were understanding when she withdrew from school, no longer looking forward to being far from her Father. Her landlord wasn’t as understanding, as he demanded the rest of the money for her lease. Her roommate figured out a way to sublet, and started slowly shipping Kate’s belongings back. On a whim, Kate called the number she had for Rick and Martha, a young child speaking a foreign language answering instead of the man she wanted to talk to. Now that he was somewhat famous, his number wouldn’t be listed. The one person she would have found comfort with was nowhere to be found. It broke her even more.

It was almost a month after the funeral that she pulled out his book again. She was only halfway through. Part of her wanted to ignore it, to avoid any mention of the word “murder”. But she remembered how familiar it was. How she could hear Rick reading it to her in her head. So she sank down on her bed and opened to the marked page, picking up where she left off, and letting the words of her best friend comfort her.

A year later, when Death of a Prom Queen hit bookstore shelves, she was first in line to buy a copy. Between working two jobs to help pay bills and searching for a rehab center for her Father, she discovered that she still found comfort in the words of her friend. It was like he was still there with her, telling her stories in that old treehouse, helping her forget about whatever was bothering her. It made her feel young again.

He went to the town next door to sign books. When it was announced, she rejoiced. Finally, a chance to reunite with her childhood best friend. She requested the day off in advance. The well worn copies of her books were on her nightstand, a felt tip marker on top, all ready for signatures. She was more than ready to see Rick again.

Her stupid boss didn't give her the day off. Instead, he expected her to work a double. "A lot of the seniors are graduating, and I'm already short staffed. I'm sorry Kate, you can meet him another time." It must have been a sign from the universe.

When Derrick Storm came out, she felt like she had something to look forward to. He was great, refusing to give up when the case got too difficult, and following every lead that was available to him no matter how strange it seemed. He was daring and handsome, and everything she hoped a detective would be. One morning she found herself discussing the book with her father. "Derrick Storm would have found Mom's killer by now." Three years later and they weren't any closer, Kate would guarantee they hadn't opened it in the last year or so.

"Derrick Storm isn't real, Katie." Her Dad grunted, his face falling. "Murder books are great. The evidence always falls in just the right way so it all makes sense. Real life isn't the same."

“Dad. They called it ‘gang violence’ and never tried to solve it. Don’t you think Mom deserves someone who will make her case a priority?”

“Don’t you think there are thousands of people with murdered family members thinking exactly like you are? There just isn’t enough manpower, Katie.” Part of her wished she hadn’t brought it up. She saw how it still broke him, how hard it was without the alcohol to soften his fall. “I would love every cop to be more like Derrick Storm. It’s just not the reality, honey, and I’m sorry.”

Her shoulders slumped as she returned to her meal. But the pancakes didn’t taste as sweet with the wheels running in her head. They went over and over the conversation again as they both sat in silence. As her Father got up from the table, she looked up, meeting his eye. “What if I wanted to be a cop?”

This had him sitting again, his face turning white. “What?”

“I could be a cop. I could be one that cares about every case that falls in my lap. I could save lives. I could encourage others to do the same. Maybe it would do some good.”

Her dad just sat across from her, his mouth open like he wanted to say something, but didn’t know how. It took him a while to gather his thoughts, and Kate’s heart beat steadily as she waited. “I know if I tell you I don’t approve, you’ll just do it anyway. But I find myself worrying that you’re doing this all for the wrong reasons.” He sighed, meeting her eyes, his gaze soft and comforting. “I’ll support you Katie, in whatever you choose to do. Just please search your heart and make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.”

She let out a sigh of relief, her body relaxing into her chair. “Thank you. I’m doing it for Mom, there couldn’t be a better reason.”

That night she looked up Criminal Justice programs in New York City. When she visited the campus a week later, she couldn’t help but be on the lookout for her favorite author. She did the same when she enrolled for classes and found an apartment. Somehow the newspaper always found him before she did, and he was long gone by the time she showed up. Leave it to them, even in the same place at the same time, they weren’t on the same page. After two months in the City, she stopped looking, deciding that it wasn’t worth the struggle. It was keeping her from meeting new friends, and living her life.

She found him one day in the most unlikely of places. Sitting on her Father’s front steps when she went home for a visit. He looked different, more grown up. His chin sported some scruff that wasn’t there yet when they were younger, and he had filled out a lot, his shoulders becoming broader, and arms looking more muscular. But it was still him, with that boyish grin and bright blue eyes. The same blue eyes that lit up when he saw the surprised reaction on her face. He accepted her hug with open arms, squeezing her back with matched fervor. “Ricky Rogers, what in the world are you doing here?” She asked through laughter and tears of joy.

“The High School is trying to claim me as an alumni. Most of the other schools that try I ignore, but this one is the only one I’ve ever truly belonged at, so I came to listen. I thought I would check up on the old neighborhood on my way out.” He pulled away to look at her, his blue eyes taking it all in. “God, Kate, you are just as gorgeous as the day I left.”

She blushed, stepping further away from him. “Shut up.” Her mind drifted to her unsigned books sitting on her nightstand back in the city. “And look at you, Mr. published author. How does it feel?”

“It’s a lot of fun. I’m glad I am one of those people that loves my job, you know? Especially at my age.”

“That’s great.” She pulled him toward the steps so they could sit. “The books are great. I could definitely tell it was you.”

His proud grin was hard to suppress, though he tried, and he attempted to come off nonchalantly. “You’ve read my books?”

“Of course. I was in California when my mother called me, all proud, and told me I had to go out and buy it.”

His face fell at her words, his hands reaching for hers. “Your mother. Kate, I just heard, and I’m so sorry. I would have called, or come to the funeral, or helped you in whatever way you needed, you know that, right?” His eyes glistened as he stared at her, his grip tightening around her fingers. “She was like a second Mom to me for a long time.”

She squeezed his hand back and offered a reassuring smile. “I know. I would have told you, too. But somewhere along the lines I think we lost each other’s contact information, and by that time you were famous and your number wasn’t listed.”

“Yeah, I learned that lesson the hard way.” He laughed, his body relaxing.

“Yes, well it makes it hard to reconnect.”

He grinned. “That’s why I’m so glad I caught you.” He glanced down at his watch. “Listen, I have a meeting with my publisher in about an hour. But let’s say we catch up after, maybe go out to dinner? We have years of telephone calls to make up for.” The offer made her heart beat faster, and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to keep a straight face.

She didn’t try. “I’d love that,” she answered, a wide grin creeping across her face.

He hopped up, grabbing her hands and pulling her with him. “Great. It’s a date.” He reached out to shake her hand awkwardly. “I’ll see you here at six.”

“I can’t wait.” She grinned, pulling him in for a hug, before running in her house to update her Father.

Finding the perfect outfit was a challenge. It was one of those times that she could have used her best girl friend, but she was back in New York City studying business. Besides, she rarely made her way back to the suburbs. And considering her Father thought she looked great in everything, Kate had to fend for herself. She settled on a dark blue blouse with white and blue specks on it, and a pair of black slacks. Something casual, but still nicer than the sweatpants she rolled up to her house in. While waiting, she finished her reading for her classes in the kitchen, and began reviewing her group mates’ reports.

The knock on her door made her jump up, a flurry of excitement as she ran to greet him at the door. He stood much like he did about seven years earlier, with a bouquet of hand picked wildflowers, his smile wide as she met his eye. “I picked these for you.” He told her as he thrust them toward her, his other hand behind his back.

She took them, remembering back to their conversation on the phone, but also remembering him as a child, picking them on the way home from school. “Thank you. They are beautiful.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside, looking for a vase in the kitchen.

Her Dad was waiting for them in there. He watched in amusement as Kate found the old vase, and Rick looked around at everything that hadn’t changed. “Well Rick, long time no see. How is New York treating you?”

“Fine, sir. It may have done me well.” He looked up above at the knick knacks that lined the tops of the cabinets. “To be honest, I always liked it better here.” His eyes drifted over to Kate, who was filling the vase with water. “I left my best friend behind, and I didn’t like that.”

“Well, she missed you too. Especially after that disaster of a date.”

This had Kate whirling around, her face turning red. “DAD!”

He threw his hands up in the air, his head shrinking into his shoulders. “I’m sorry, was I not supposed to say anything?”

She hid her face behind her head as it shook back and forth. “No. Please. I think we’re just going to go.” She grabbed a hold of Rick’s wrists and pulled him toward the door, afraid to look at him to see his reaction. She waved at her Father without looking back. “I’ll see you tonight, Dad.”

Outside, she let out a nervous laugh as she fell into step beside Rick. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. My Mother has done worse.” He offered her a hand as they walked down the street, which she accepted, lacing her fingers in with his like they did as children. “I had a girl over working on a Latin project. Mom loudly told me where the condoms were. I think I turned about four different shades of red.”

Kate laughed, suddenly feeling not so bad about her father’s antics. “Oh, that’s awful. I’m sorry.”

“It gets worse.” He teased, his free hand running through his hair. “The girl called back, ‘I’m not into dudes, so he won’t be needing those. But thanks.’”

Kate’s head fell back as she laughed, her arm roping around his like it always had. “That’s mortifying.”

Rick shrugged, a cocky grin on his face. “At least she was comfortable enough with herself to admit that. Not everyone is so open about that stuff.”

“True.” She tightened her rip around his arm, amazed at how familiar it still seemed. “So what is in the cards for tonight?”

“Well, I think I owe you a re-do of that terrible date.”

“We really don’t have to relive that. We can do something else.” Her grip loosened on his arm as she remembered that night, his uncharacteristic quietness, their almost kiss. “Besides, I don’t even know if the treehouse still exists.”

“It does. And I already got permission from the new owners to do some reminiscing tonight. Unless, you don’t want to?”

She bit the bottom of her lip as she grinned, happy that he wanted to make things right. “I think I might like to see the old place again.”

He grinned that boyish grin, his hand clasping around her as he quickened the pace. “Perfect! Off to Anne’s we go!”

He remembered her ice cream order, down to her favorite toppings and type of waffle cone. He escorted her to a table in the corner of the field, close to a streetlight that had just turned on. They talked about their favorite places in the city, exchanged addresses and correct phone numbers. She told him all about her classes and her professors, and everything she wanted to do in memory of her mother. His chest puffed out with pride as she told him how Derrick Storm inspired her. He talked about traveling, and his books, about how fame had changed him. When his ice cream was gone, he leaned forward, his voice a whisper. “Did you read the dedication in my first novel?”

Kate’s heart flipped as she thought back to that bookstore in Stanford, his words making her feel closer to home. “I did. I loved it. Thank you.”

“Funny story. My girlfriend at the time, Kyra, thought it was dedicated to her. Kyra Blaine. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was for my best friend that I hadn’t seen in years.”

“Girlfriend at the time, huh? She must be kicking herself for giving you up, Mr. New York Times bestseller.” She punctuated her statement with a lick of her ice cream cone, the coffee ice cream running down her fingers.

Rick shrugged, handing her a napkin. “I don’t know. Her Father never thought I could provide for her. Her mother didn’t think I had the right character, money was never the issue. She asked for time to think, got on a train, and never came back.”

She reached her clean hand out to him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight. “I’m sorry they couldn’t see you.”

He squeezed her hand back. “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.” He gave her a small smile, with a twinkle in his eye, and although she could still see the hope that had always been there, now she saw wisdom too. He took in a deep breath and gave her hand a soft pat. “Take that to go. I want to see what’s changed.”

Together, they walked to the common. The band wasn’t playing that night, but that didn’t prevent them from stopping. Kate shoved the dirty napkin in her pocket and allowed him to sweep her into a dance, him humming a melody she didn’t recognize while she laughed as they twirled. The night grew darker but she didn’t care. They danced around that gazeebo like the morning wasn’t coming, and no one was watching. When they slowed, slow dancing near the sidewalk, she wondered if he could feel her heart beating in her chest. If the pull of her body into his was deliberate. If he’d had any idea that this was how this night would go. She pulled away slightly, leaning up to look at him. The soft smile on his face, the way his eyes locked with hers, how he seemed to stop breathing for a moment. And just as she was gathering up the courage to lean forward and finally meet his lips like she meant to all those years ago, he dropped his arms and moved slightly away. “Not yet. I still have one more spot on my list.” At the roll of her eyes, he continued. “If we want to re-do this date, we have to do it right.”

“You’re impossible.” She laughed as she fell in step next to him, walking back toward their street.

“Always. It’s part of my charm.” He threaded her arm through his as they walked, telling old jokes and new funny stories, each getting more caught up with the other one’s life. She didn’t even blink when he opened the gate to his old house, and she ran down the once familiar path that was now overgrown. She reached the treehouse before him.

It had been updated a bit. The rope ladder now had red vinyl rope instead of brown, but the structure on top still looked the same. Rick nudged his way in front of her, grabbing onto a rung. “I should go first. Make sure it’s safe.”

“Forever the brave knight,” Kate laughed, letting him go ahead of her.

“Please,” he called down as he climbed, “you rescued yourself. Or told me how to rescue you better.”

As she followed him up the ladder, she called out, “and now you’re a pro at rescuing princesses. It could come in handy someday.” Rick didn’t answer her. He had stopped in his tracks just beyond the entryway, hunched over so he wouldn’t hit his head on the ceiling. It didn’t take her long to figure out why.

Most of their artwork was gone. It got scrubbed away by someone who wanted their own kids to make their own memories. Kate could only make out a faint outline of her princess’ crown in the moonlight. The bookcases had been moved around, and were empty now. The family that owned the house had grown kids who didn’t care for treehouses. Across from the big window, in the same spot Rick had put some almost a decade ago, there were pillows. It seemed like no matter who was up there, they liked watching things from the window. Kate pulled him down with her, and rested against him as she stared out at the sky. “You always knew all the constellations.”

“Mythology is cool. I liked knowing the stories that went along with the constellations.”

“I always thought it made you look smart.”

He laughed. “God, I always wished to hear you say that.” He ran his hand up and down her arm. “I’m sorry that things got so out of hand the last time we were here.”

“You know, I’ve thought about it a lot, and I don’t know how I would have dropped that bomb either.” She moved to look him in the eye. “I don’t think I would have invented a date, but I don’t know how I would have done it.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “You were just so excited, and I didn’t want to disappoint you. But then you went in for that kiss, and I couldn’t tell you after that, so I panicked and blurted and ruined the whole night.” His hand came up to cup her cheek. “I regret that, you know. That I never got to kiss you. I had been dreaming of it for over a year, and I ruined it.” He turned to face the wall, in the space right under where her princess would have been, and ran his hands over the wood. In the moonlight she could just make out the words etched into the wood, the only thing that would have stayed no matter how many times the walls were washed. I SHOULD HAVE KISSED YOU HERE. “I’m sorry I played with your emotions that night.”

Kate’s heart was racing as she reached up to cup his face. “Could you please stop blaming yourself so we can make up for lost time?” His expression changed from somber to puzzled, but she didn’t let him speak before pushing forward, latching her lips onto his and melting into the side of him. His hand made it’s way into her hair, and she moaned as he closed the distance between them. She grinned into it as she pushed ahead, her hands on his shoulders as she reveled in his noises of appreciation and his hands running over her ribs. She almost didn’t stop herself, but she broke their contact, biting her bottom lip and leaning next to his ear. “Not that I don’t want to continue this in the very near future, but may I remind you that this treehouse belongs to neither of us, and I don’t want to overstay our welcome.”

“Right.” It came out breathy, which made her chuckle.

“But you have a nice hotel room nearby and we both have apartments in the city.”

He nodded. “All good things. But for now, I want to watch the stars. Make up for lost time.”

She stole another quick kiss, just short enough to quench her thirst but not make her long for more, and settled back against him. He told her constellation love stories, pointing out the patterns with his finger in the air. She wasn’t really watching. She was too busy looking at his face, wondering when their story would merit pictures in the sky.

#castle fanfiction #castle fanfic #castle #otp: under my skin #100 ways to say

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learnionline · 8 years ago

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USMLE STEP 1 EXPERIENCE Amjad Elmashala (Step 1 score 269) So many of you have asked for my experience, I’m sorry for the delay as I just had the step 2 CS exam two days ago. I am a recent graduate of Al-Quds University in Palestine, andnow an intern. I was confused at the beginning whether to take step 2 CK (like all graduates from my university) or step 1. My friend „Kinana Abu-Rayyan‟ talked to me for hours about the benefits of doing step 1 before step 2, and now I know she is right. She‟s always right hahaha! So, I started my preparation on the 15th of July, 2016, but the real kick in was not until July 30th, when another friend of mine Mohammad Adawi decided to begin preparing for the step 1 as well. I read a lot of experiences to decide how I want to proceed with this, and I saw so many students scoring in the 250s and 260s who have only done UWorld “UW”, First Aid “FA” and Pathoma (UFAP). My target was to get at least 250 in the beginning of my preparation. I started with pathology, since it was the least terrifying to me and I did not want to get disappointed or bored from the very beginning. I watched one chapter of Pathoma videos each day, then I went on to read the same chapter from the book. At the same time, I was doing the UW pathology questions for that particular chapter at night. My friend and I usually then talked at 10 or 11 pm when we were done to discuss some of the questions that were either confusing or that we got wrong, and share our ways of thinking on these particular questions. It was really beneficial to see how he was thinking. This took us about 25 days and anywhere between 5 and 8 hours per day. We were also skimming through FA especially towards the end of the 22 days, but I wouldn’t say that we really studied it. Then we decided to move on to biochemistry, we watched Kaplan 2014 biochemistry videos (44 hours) with Dr. Turco and went through FA. Genetics was explained in the first half of the videos, so we took a couple of days to answer UW questions in Genetics, then we went back to finish the metabolic part and answer all the biochemistry questions from UW. This process took us two weeks. Then we went on to study physiology, we read the BRS and FA at the same time, and answered the UW physiology questions. We needed 10 days to get that done. After that, we started watching Pharmacology videos. I watched Kaplan 2014 videos and my friend watched 2010 videos. The 2010 videos have much more details and I think they are worth doing more than the 2014 videos. We did the pharmacokinetics; pharmacodynamics and autonomic nervous system drugs from Kaplan. We read FA at the same time and answered UW pharmacology questions. We left the antimicrobials until we study microbiology. This took us another 10 days. Then, we studied microbiology and immunology from FA we watched videos only for the antimicrobials from Kaplan 2014, and we were going through the UW questions at the end of each. These two took us two weeks, but we knew that we will have to come back to them many times to master them – so many details. After that, we watched the Kaplan 2014 videos for anatomy and read FA, then went through UW anatomy questions. This is one of the topics that made us suffer all the way during our studying. I still don‟t know what to recommend for you. Anatomy took us 10 days of preparation. Finally, we watched the Kaplan 2014 videos for behavioral science, psychiatry, and biostatistics for the last couple of weeks of our first preparation. They were okay but definitely not enough, especially for international medical students who barely study these topics. We went through UW questions, and they were pretty tough, we didn’t have the right framework for answering the questions correctly. That‟s why in our second time of studying, we read the 100 cases in medical ethics by the amazing Conrad Fischer. It took us one day to finish, which was the day of the Classico. It‟s a very well written book and very easy to understand. So these were the first 3 months, give or take a few days. At this time, I took NBME 13. I always liked to challenge myself and see how I‟m progressing. My friend didn’t like to do that, so it really depends on what you prefer. I got 17 questions incorrect, but some of the questions were missing. Do not multiply the number of correct questions by 1.3 or 1.4, this really doesn’t help you predict your score. Just know how many questions you got incorrect and learn from your mistakes. The only way to find out is to take an online NBME or to find someone who took the same NBME online and got the same amount mistakes as you did. From around the 10th of November until the 7th of December, it was time to go through FA from cover to cover one time. Two pieces of advice that I would like to give you here because I noticed them after we were done with the FA. The first one is NEVER EVER leave UW questions or any other questions for a long period. You really lose your sense of reading the questions fast and answering unknown questions to you correctly. The second piece of advice is to do Biochemistry then, for example, Cardiology and Endocrinology, then to go back to Microbiology and then do another 2 chapters from the second half of the book, and so on and so forth. This way you will not be bored by the dry material presented in biochemistry,microbiology, and immunology. During the same period, I watched some of the USMLERx videos, which go through the FA book page by page. The new videos are excellent, and I highly recommend them. They were equivalent to Kaplan videos. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the time to watch all of them. After that, I took NBME 15 and got 250. I was relieved at that moment because I have already reached my target. On December 9th, we registered for the online UW for a couple of months along with the two self-assessments (which I highly recommend). UW took us 25 days to complete for the second time. During this period, we started taking one NBME each week, so that by the 5th of January,we have done 3 more NBMEs. For the following 2 weeks, my friend Kinana Abu-Rayyan convinced me to start doing NBMEs. Before that, I was planning only on taking 3 or 4 of them. But she has a great spirit. So we started doing 50-100 questions per night, and we would talk for two or even three hours to discuss every single question. At this point, NBME became a learningand not an assessment tool. NBME helps a lot with exposing you to difficult questions that you might have never heard of. It also makes you better at guessing the right answer, even when you have no clue how to get to it. We also did UWorld Self-Assessment (UWSA) 1 and 2 at three weeks and two weeks before the exam respectively. My scores were 274 and 269, and I was on the 96th and 92 nd percentile in each UWSA. I did not care much about the number, but the percentile gave me some reassurance. My friend and I traveled to Jordan to take the test in Amman on the 30th of January. Our scheduled test was supposed to be on the 1 st of February. On the night before the exam, I didn’t sleep well – I was too nervous. I woke up and got ready for the test. I arrived at the center 45 minutes earlier. This is where I had my bad experience. The people at the center tried to log me in at around 8 am, but the system got stuck, so I had to wait for a whole hour to fix the problem. Then, they tried to log me in again at 9 am, and it didn’t work. All examinees were already in except for me. At 10.20, they came to me and asked me if I want to reschedule my test for another day. I told them “No”, I mean I wanted to be free at the end of the day and just relax. So they tried to log me in another couple of times and didn’t work for reasons that I still don’t know. At 11.40, they told me that, if I want, they can get me another test in 15 minutes. This time I refused, I was so tired of waiting, I had tachycardia for most of the time outside and I vomited once. So, I decided not to take the test, go back home and reschedule for the next week. I was depressed for the following three days. I was sleeping for 12 hours at times! My friendstayed with me for that period. I reviewed a little bit of biochemistry and microbiology two days before my rescheduled test. I made sure that I would not get disturbed at that night. I went to bed at 9 and had a wonderful night sleep. I woke up in the morning refreshed. I packed my snacks and kept on my pajamas, and I headed to the center and hoped not to experience what I experienced 5 days ago. I was not stressed for the second time as the first time. As soon as I began the test, I felt I was back home answering UW questions. The questions were more like UWSA than NBME, and they were long. I didn’t have any problem with time management. I always had at least 15 minutes left to go over questions I flagged. I was able to revise two complete blocks during the test. I decided to take a break after the first two blocks, then the second two blocks, and then after each block till the end of the exam. When I was on break, I was staring outside the windows and smiling :) because first I know that I’m going home today with that burden off my back, and second, the questions I got weren’t extraterrestrial. I got 7-8 questions per block which were difficult and 2-3 which were really challenging. Materials used during preparation Pathology Pathoma once, UW and FA … and no, I didn’t read Goljan or Robbins Biochemistry Kaplan videos 2014, UW and FA Pharmacology Kaplan videos 2014, first 3 chapters of Kaplan book, UW, and FA Physiology BRS physiology, UW, and FA Microbiology & immunology UW and FA Anatomy Kaplan videos 2014, UW and FA Behavioral science and biostatistics Kaplan videos 2014, 100 cases of ethics, UW and FA National Board Medical Examinations (NBMEs) NBME 1 → 14 incorrect questions NBME 4 → 10 incorrect questions NBME 5 → 12 incorrect questions NBME 6 → 10 incorrect questions NBME 7 → 17 incorrect questions (9 mistakes in the last block, I was very tired at that moment) NBME 11 → 15 incorrect questions NBME 12 → 16 incorrect questions NBME 13 → 6 incorrect questions NBME 15 → 15 incorrect questions NBME 16 → 12 incorrect questions NBME 17 → 13 incorrect questions NBME 18 → 15 incorrect questions, which corresponds to 261 … it was the closest to the real exam and I recommend that you take it last and online. UWorld Self-Assessments For the UW self-assessments, I felt like the exam was more similar to these than the NBMEs as Ihave stated earlier. When I took these UWSAs, I always woke up early, made myself breakfast and a cup of tea, and tried to simulate the real exam as much as possible. UWSA 1 → 274 (96th percentile) UWSA 2 → 269 (92nd percentile) Finally, I would love to take the chance to thank my family, and my friends especially the ones who took the exam in the same time – Mohammad Adawi (259) and Kinana Abu-Rayyan (257) for supporting me all the way through. And for you, my friends, I wish you all the best of luck on your preparations and on your tests. Author Amjad Elmashala Acknowledgements This article was first published on USMLE Step 1 Preparation Forum (a Facebook group). It was republished here with permission from the author. Write an Article Today Knowledge grows when shared…share some today. It’s easier than you think by Amjad Elmashala PREVIOUS ARTICLE Hallpike Maneuver and Epley Maneuver – Don’t Confuse NEXT ARTICLE My Journey to Score 244 2 Comments Comment 1 Bipin May 7, 2017 at 21:47 Thank you for sharing your experiences Comment 2 Rupert Green May 8, 2017 at 12:44 Congratulations Amjad.

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neoxnocturne · 7 years ago

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Do 1-60 you hecker

Well since you asked so nicely (and since I know nobody else is gonna ask me any questions), I guess I’ll do all of them and ruin the fun.

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

Well, I don’t have iTunes, so I’m just going to use SoundCloud and shuffle my likes:

Varsity - So Sad, So SadDaughters of Eve - Hey LoverAngel 2 Me - Mcay Kim & Jeff BernatNgoize - Thick as ThievesOlmos - Hold MeSayuw - Konnichiwa

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I’m not really sure actually, I don’t really have anyone famous that I look up to. What the hell, let’s just go with Bill Nye, he’s a cool guy.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

”Wow!” (I’m not even joking)4) What do you think about most?

Computer parts, money, Gundam, money to buy computer parts, living in Japan, did I mention computer parts?

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Not that I know of.

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

Nothing strange I’d say. I have a phobia of needles and things that would pierce my skin, but that doesn’t sound odd.

7) What's your religion?

I’m not religious.

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Probably just sunbathing or reading.

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Uh... I have a favorite composer does that count? (Hiroyuki Sawano)

10) What was the last lie you told?

What kind of memory do you think I have??

11) Do you believe in karma?

Not really, it seems unrealistic. Doesn’t mean that I’m against it being enforced.

12) What does your URL mean?

Literally, just my username that I use for everything. Gotta change it soon too so colleges don’t realize I’m a loser.

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I can’t relate well with others??; I can adapt easily and can become proficient in any skill pretty quickly if I practice.

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

Don’t have one.

15) How do you vent your anger?

Playing video games.

16) Do you have a collection of anything?

Fountain pens and Gunpla.

17) Are you happy with the person you've become?

I think I’m on the right track. Certainly better than I was before.

18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

Music out of tune; Brewing coffee.

19) What's your biggest "what if"?

Not really sure what this question entails; “what if I ever become rich?” Duh, I’d blow it all on fancy technology, Gunpla, and pens.

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I believe in both and want them both to stay far away from me.

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

My monitor; My monitor (what a surprise, I’m at my computer)

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

Air.

23) What's the worst place you have ever been to?

I was pretty traumatized when I accidentally wandered into a nudist beach in Australia. My poor 7-year-old self was so confused.

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

Hell, I don’t know.

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

Ah yes, the question everyone asks themselves. What’s the meaning of life from my perspective? In a philosophical sense, I’d say it’s to live and succeed by following what makes you happiest. I hope I can live my life one day both in comfort and without sacrifice. Now if you let the smart-ass in me answer this question, I’d just say to live. Duh.

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I do drive and I haven’t crashed thankfully.

27) What was the last movie you saw?

Good question, I don’t remember. Actually!!! I do it was the Turn-A Gundam movie (what did you expect from me?)

28) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

I sprained my leg in 3rd grade, but that’s pretty much it. I’m thankful nothing else has happened to me.

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?

Did I mention I like Gundam and computer parts?

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Nobody knows I exist, so no.

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yes, I do. Never expect me to forget wrongdoings against me.

32) What is your astrological sign?

Virgo

33) What's the last thing you purchased?

Black Desert Online

34) Love or lust?

Love, but both is fine.

35) In a relationship?

Lol no.

36) How many relationships have you had?

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I don’t?

38) Where is your best friend?

In New Jersey, unfortunately.

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

To even my surprise, I was sleeping.

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yeah, I think I’m a pretty great friend.

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Looks like I need a new job.

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

Eh, it probably depends on my current life situation. If it was right now I would, and I’d probably want to go to Japan at least once. Of course I would be afraid, I don’t want to die. You’re asking the person who can’t wait to replace his body with cybernetics so he can live forever.

43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Monster Hunter Theme, Testament of a Hero. Gets me hype every time.

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Shit uh, Lots of love and attention to detail, trusting each other, tolerance, loyalty, and respect. It sounds pretty generic to me tbh.

45) How can I win your heart?

Be interested in me and care as much as I do. I’m not that difficult.

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Who knows, I’m not insane.

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Stop listening to that shitty other voice inside my head (perfect question to answer after stating I’m not insane right?)

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“To those reading this, I probably didn’t make it to any afterlife so just so you know, I’m right behind you. Say hello!” (Complete BS, didn’t know what to write)

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart."

Condition. Wish that wasn’t the first word that came to mind, but unfortunately, it is.

50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?

Purple but like, blue based purple. Shitty neon purple.

51) What is your current desktop picture?

Samus Aran in her Varia suit with a Metroid floating over her.

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Only one person? That’s lame. Nothing will be solved by erasing just one person so I wouldn’t bother.

53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

No clue depends on who’s asking.

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Gravity Manipulation would be a pretty sweet power. Or being some crazy powerful Telekinetic like Mob.

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Maybe going to Australia again? I don’t remember too much of it, unfortunately.

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

How about we don’t erase any experience from my past. I’d rather learn from troubling times than pretending they never happened.

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

What the fuck type of question is this?? Nobody, I don’t know them.

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Take me to Nippon.

59) Ever been on a plane?

Many planes.

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

I. Don’t. Care. About. Celebrities.

Happy now??

#ask me #ghosttyy

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nasabeck · 6 years ago

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Well hello, i dare you to answer ALL OF THE QUESTIONS!!! GO!!!

Holy heck this took a while!!1. Spotify all the way. It’s my daily go-to.2. Mostly clean, I can’t stand loving in mess.3. Bluey-grey4. I like it far more than I used too but I still wish I had something more exciting.5. Single (24 years and counting)6. Sarcastic, loyal and lame7. Mid-brown with ombré tips8. I don’t, I really have to learn to drive once I finish uni.9. Wherever takes my fancy. In terms of clothing; mostly Primark, Topshop, Miss Selfridge & Zara10. Basic. Far more boring than it used to be but I’m really trying again.11. At the moment it’s Twitter but usually Instagram 12. At home it’s single but at uni it’s a queen size (I hate having a tiny bed for the summer!)13. 2 younger half brothers! 14. As much as I’d love to live in a big city, I don’t think I’d survive too well so right now I’m pretty content where I am.15. The one with th butterflies around the head! OR the changed colour one without any frills on it.16. Rimmel, L’Oreal and Maybelline.17. Everyday if I have time.18. The OC. It’s has been for the last 15 years! 19. UK 520. 5’221. Sandals although I bloody love comfy shoes.22. Not anymore. I can’t afford it and I’m too lazy.23. Nothing fancy or expensive, a picnic in the park followed by a film would suit me just fine.24. €80 and £2025. I’m barefoot26. 2/327. Not right now.28. A fair few but also virtually none, its depends on what we’re really classing as a friend.29. Once I was angry at my mum, when she was drunk, for telling the flatmate of the lead singer of my fave band that I really adored the guitarist and I hit her in the head. I’m still mortified to this day and I hate myself for a dumb knee jerk reaction.30. Either Cotton Fresh or something vanilla-y31. Harry, Sebastian & George32. Alexa, 33. Ya can’t make me choose one actor.34. I seriously can’t narrow it down to one actress. 35. How long have you got?36. Girl, Interrupted and Back to the Future37. I read a fair bit, I’ve been trying to read far more the past year. My fave is One Day by David Nicholls38. Brains all the way. You don’t need to be a brainbox, I just appreciate common sense.39. I have a tonne but mostly just Sam.40. Very few for myself.41. Transatlanticism - Death Cab For CutieCute Without the E (Cut from the Team) - Taking Back SundayThree Cheers For Five Years (Acoustic) - Mayday ParadeRun Away With Me - Aaron TveitCan’t Take My Eyes Off You - Lady AntebellumSend In the Clowns - Judi DenchAs If We Never Said Goodbye - Chris ColferChampagne Supernova - OasisMe - The 1975Set The Fire To the Third Bar - Snow Patrol42. No.43. Combination. (Dry/Oily)44. Burning to death45. I’d be very content with 246. At the moment it’s a half up-half down with a top knot47. A medium sized 3 bedroom house. But at uni it’s a 5 bedroom flat.48. No one. I’m over looking up to certain people, no one is perfect and I’m determined to be my own role model.49. I don’t remember, they’re few and far between.50. It was to one of my best friends about meeting up over summer.51. I haven’t got a clue, it was before 10 y/o52. At this point I’d be happy with a Fiat 500 because they’re super cute.53. If you want to do it then that’s your decision, I have no problems with that (other than worrying about your health) but personally I’ve seen it affect too many people and I won’t smoke myself.54. I sure do! It’s took me 3 more years to decide but I’m here!55. I’d love to be a celebrity stylist or working for a fashion magazine.56. Suburbs all the way. I like the peace and quiet but I also get spooked easily and lonely.57. I do, I’m British, what can I say?58. A couple, far less than I did as a kid.59. Yeah, I’m finally happy with my smile.60. There’s 530 in my camera roll61. Not that I recall, way too messy.62. Nah, it makes me cringe nowadays 63. McDonald’s, I’ve never eaten at Wendy’s.64. Sweet chilli or mayonnaise 65. Usually just a band shirt66. Nope although spelling was my strong point as a kid67. Reading, writing, procrastinating and pretending I’m on Broadway 68. Definitely not and it upsets me far more than I let on69. Sadly not. I always wanted to learn the guitar and drums. I got as far as learning a Savage Garden song on the piano about 15 years ago.70. I think it was 30 Seconds to Mars in March71. Tea all the way. Usually 8 cups a day.72. Starbucks because I’ve not has DD.73. Maybe one day. I’ve not had very good examples of it in my life so I don’t feel it’s as important as I did as a child. I like the idea of it, but there’s far too much distress involved in a divorce that I question if it’s worth it.74. I don’t have an attainable crush right now.75. I would do because I hate my surname. 76. Red seems to suit me at the moment.77. My best friend.78. Closed, I’m too easily spooked.79. Yeah.80. People chewing with their mouth open or chewing loudly.81. My nan 82. Mint choc chip 83. What the heck are golden oreos???? I love normal Oreos 84. Rainbow85. A burgundy Brooklyn tee86. A selfie of Pat Kirch & I87. Depends on the circumstance, I can be really outgoing with people I know but otherwise I’m really shy and awkward.88. Yeah, it’s heavenly.89. The families on either side are really lovely.90. Morning & night.91. Never, it’s gonna happen when I eventually hit Amsterdam92. Yeah, I thought I was on my way to being drunk tonight watching the football!93. Bacon crisps94. But don't forget the songs That made you cry And the songs that saved your life Yes, you're older now And you're a clever swine But they were the only ones who ever stood by you95. Summer96. Night97. Milk98. May99. Sagittarius 100 . Everyone sat around me on the flight on Friday as I watched The Martian

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survivor-themyscira-blog · 7 years ago

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OKAY SO, I just realized that I might not have sent in a confessional pre-tribal. I actually wrote part of this confessional ahead of time, didn’t submit it, and just now noticed it sitting in a word document. So this is what I wrote.

…

WELP. Tonight’s about to be a hell of a lot messier than it was yesterday. I thought that it’d just be a clean 10-1 vote with Ian dipping out, but I guess it’s going to be something more chaotic. I don’t know exactly how much fault I am to blame for that, but right now I’m just trying to harness the chaos and figure out who’s doing what.

I can see myself, Ian, or Kai being the targets tonight. I think that a lot of people are trying to reassure me that I’m safe, and it’s worked a bit because I’m not as on-edge as I was before. I mean, I’m still anxious as hell but it’s a different kind of anxiety. Now I have to figure out what I’m gonna do about this idol thing I’ve got.

According to a few people, everyone assumes I’ve got some sort of advantage as it is just because I came back and didn’t have a power out in the open for everyone to see. I figured there’d be some sort of suspicion around me not blatantly being immune for my first tribal council as a returner, so the quicker I can toss this thing out in the open, the better.

Jack, Logan, and I believe Rhone (I could be wrong on that one) have all pretty much said that Ian is receiving their votes tonight. And it sounds like a great plan and all, but there’s a lot of suspicion on whether these people want to actually go ahead and tell me what’s going on or not. I think that Kai is their best bet at getting rid of someone on the bottom, and they aren’t sure if I’ve caught onto that or not.

Emily and I were talking and she listed four names that had come up. Me, Ian, Kai, and Nicholas. I hadn’t heard Kai (but had my suspicions) and certainly didn’t expect Nicholas to come up either. I’ve been really concentrated on grouping everyone into two factions: Jordan Pines’ Alliance (the majority), and The Minority. Publicly, everyone can view me as being in the middle. Certainly, the majority doesn’t need another number as the minority is so small that it doesn’t make much sense to bring me into the fold on any votes.

…

I cut it where I left off so there isn’t any issues with it being like, false. Anyways, at the time, my plan was to definitely idol Kai because I was thinking that there was a chance I was being fooled, or that there was a plan to split the votes. I figured that Toph was going to vote for Nicholas just on a whim, as Emily said that Toph was the one to bring up multiple names, including Nicholas’.

Let the record show that this entire time, I’m telling Kai and Ian that this idol in my possession is only eligible for this first merge vote with me included. I’m a bad liar and kept over-selling the point so it’s possible everyone saw through my bullshit, but NOW I’m telling Ian and only Ian that the idol was not a one-time thing because like, there’s no point in lying. I cannot tell Jack the truth because he’s only going to get madder at me.

God… This vote was really fucking crazy. Let’s get caught up to speed. I had NO clue that Rhone was going to go home tonight, and I certainly would’ve been way interested in voting off Rhone over Nicholas as it would’ve saved me a little bit of time and energy. I made a group chat with Ian and Kai and like, tried really hard to solidify an alliance but these bitches totally just screwed me and didn’t say a DAMN THING about this vote.

Ian gave me the “well its better if less people knew” argument. And like okay, cool, I’m fine that we got rid of a threat BUT I even said “lets just do Rhone maybe!” because I felt as though Rhone was a bigger threat. I was the person telling them who to vote for. It’s not like I was running around trying to blow up their plans or anything, I was feeding them my personal agenda. But they shot it down and said nah, Nicholas is a bigger threat.

It saves them a lot of face, though. I’ll give them that. There are a lot of people who are gonna take more heat for this entire fiasco than either of them ever will. I wish I had just stuck to my guns and went for Ian, but like… clearly that was all for nothing because NOBODY followed through. I think I’ve put myself in a really hair situation now because not only am I down an idol, but TONS of people are capital Pissed at me for playing it on Ian when THEY WANTED IAN GONE. I tried to fuck them all over, doesn’t matter that Rhone went home or not.

Another thing is that this really opens up a lot about Toph’s game. I’m actually really impressed that he was able to pull this stunt off because of his double vote advantage. From what I understand, this helped people believe that voting out Rhone was totally within reach. Yet… none of those people came to me to talk about that deal. I think that I’m the person taking the biggest fall for the vote because my plans utterly failed.

Idk man. I’m worried about jury votes now, too. I definitely burned those on the bottom not named Ian or Kai, but I think Ian and Kai are resting pretty on the top?? With Madeline and Toph?! Fuck.

I did what I could today to apologize and make amends with the nuHippos from when I was voted out. I don’t know if they’re going to stick around much longer but I think that the apologies were received well. I’m still watching out for Toph because he seems like such a shady little shit, but clearly Ian and Kai are in cahoots with him enough to blindside half the tribe.

I don’t know for certain if playing my idol was a good move or not. It was just messy. It was kind of an unnecessary risk by telling Ian and Kai in the first place, but I knew I needed to deposit some trust in them so they could at least return some interest. It was all for nothing as they didn’t tell me about the whole Rhone blindside, so I’m kinda hurt by that… but I tell myself that I cannot be a baby about it right now. I simply can’t get upset that they did that to me when I did it to them long ago. Maybe this is my karma. I can feel completely unsteady for one more vote before I finally find a path in this game.

Also, Jack spilled some major tea on this five person alliance he is in. I figure its Jack, Logan, Emily, Nicholas, and possibly Rhone with Lily as an affiliate? I’m not sure though, he didn’t specify names. Just Emily and Nicholas plotting to get me out at the final ten, go figure. I guess I was supposed to vote for Ian to prove my trust to them, even though literally Logan doesn’t trust me, Nicholas is a douche to me, and Lily thought I was gonna vote her out. Awesome. Jack is like, genuinely upset at me for not sticking to my word and working with them. I’m going to have to do some SERIOUS damage control with all of these people and figure out wtf I’m gonna do next. Maybe by me voting for Nicholas, I proved trust to those I thought were in the minority – a newly banded Majority in the wake of the Fall of Pines. So maybe I found my footing again, who tf knows.

I think at this point, my game is officially demolished. I’m staying positive and looking at this like a house of cards. Though the cards are lying on the floor around me, I can start over again and I’m on an even playing field with everybody now. I’ve got a reward challenge and an immunity challenge to act as a buffer before we have to go back to a messy ass tribal.. I hope I can win one or both of them to get my hands on some sort of immunity, be it an idol or a necklace. I DO NOT want to get tenth place, I’m going for gold this time around y’all. If my messy ass can beat Jordan fucking Pines, what can’t I do?

I CANNOT BELIEVE WE DID IT AGAIN. ANOTHER IDOL PLAY ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL BLINDSIDE LMAO

[11/9/17, 12:15:30 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: what makes u think I’m gonna get idoled out!!!

[11/9/17, 12:15:37 AM] Emily: OMG

[11/9/17, 12:16:13 AM] Emily: I didn’t know who to put I didn’t think you’d be likely to get a majority of votes for things should an idol be played like that might be the only way

[11/9/17, 12:16:16 AM] Emily: I don’t know

[11/9/17, 12:16:23 AM] Emily: I read into touchy subjects too much

[11/9/17, 12:16:29 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: Hehe

[11/9/17, 12:16:44 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: Can’t get idoled out if ur the one w the idol tho

[11/9/17, 12:16:48 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: :)

[11/9/17, 12:17:11 AM] Emily: I also said you for date for my personal BUT I TAKE IT BACK

[11/9/17, 12:17:13 AM] Emily: IF UR MEAN

[11/9/17, 12:17:16 AM] Emily: oh wait what

[11/9/17, 12:17:20 AM] Emily: LQOABJANAJA LOGAN WHAT

[11/9/17, 12:17:22 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: HEHEHEHE

[11/9/17, 12:17:26 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: I found it the other day!

[11/9/17, 12:17:36 AM] Emily: LOGAN

[11/9/17, 12:17:38 AM] Emily: ANKWNWKWNWKWNWJ

[11/9/17, 12:17:40 AM] Emily: IM SCREECHING

[11/9/17, 12:17:41 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: I KNOW

[11/9/17, 12:17:48 AM] Emily: WHERE WAS SHE

[11/9/17, 12:17:58 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: BEHIND THE STATUE OF ATHENA

[11/9/17, 12:18:09 AM] Emily: WOW

[11/9/17, 12:18:15 AM] Emily: I’m so shook

[11/9/17, 12:18:40 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: i was shooK

[11/9/17, 12:19:20 AM] Emily: NAKANKA

[11/9/17, 12:19:24 AM] Emily: I AM TOO

[11/9/17, 12:19:34 AM] Emily: so like who knows about it???

[11/9/17, 12:19:42 AM] Emily: not like I’m going to tell I won’t

[11/9/17, 12:19:54 AM] Emily: is that even a good question to ask

[11/9/17, 12:19:55 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: Only u so far

[11/9/17, 12:19:58 AM] Emily: omg

[11/9/17, 12:20:02 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: i don’t want it getting out

[11/9/17, 12:20:09 AM] Emily: I won’t I promise

[11/9/17, 12:20:14 AM] Emily: my lips are sealed

SO LOGAN JUST FKSDJFKA TOLD ME JFDSKLJAL HE HAS FKDSAS AN IDOL AND I AM LITERALLY GONNA SHIT MYSELF JDLJFALS THIS IS SO COOL BUT IDK WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFO BECAUSE LIKE U KNOW IM VERY MUCH LOYAL TO DUDES, DAMES, AND A DEUTCH BUT ALSO LIKE LOGAN HAS THIS IDOL AND IM....... WHEW I DONT WANT TO TELL DDD BUT I THINK I MIGHT BECAUSE THEY'RE WANTING TO GO AFTER LOGAN AND FJSDKJFALS WHILE MADELINE IAN AND JACK ARE OFF ON THIS REWARD (IM FINE WITH MADELINE TAKING JACK IT'S GOOD THAT SHE DOESN'T REVEAL HOW CLOSE WE ARE) I CANT EVEN TALK IN DDD AND KAI IS ASLEEP FUCKING BRITS WHATEVER JFKDSFLAJFSALD HOSTS IM SCREAM IM SCREAM I AM A SCREAM

https://youtu.be/t5G5JomnL9A

Whew. I've been severely lacking in the confessional department.

SO. I found a fake idol after being left out of yet another vote. Which is great. Emily and Kai think it's real, Jack knows it's fake.

Kai and I had a blowup and now?? We're working together.

I think it's gonna be 6-4 Nicholas Jaiden but I just don't know

Rip

So I do like that Madeline has taken to calling me Golden Boy, that's one thing I always wanted to be called in a survivor game. I don't like that everyone is now pointing out the fact I have been immune for three rounds... Hold up guys, I didn't win the first two immunities. I played Kai's idol the first time to take out Jordan because well EMILY WAS THE LEAK. The second round the idol played on me didn't really matter, Rhone would have still gone home. I swear these people don't pay attention at all. Jack was like, "It feels good surviving a tribal while not being immune" HOMIE, I would have survived the Rhone vote because my allies were/are better than your allies.

#whatidoisnotuptoyou #athena11 #episodes

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