#no but really i am crying
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the wettest of cats
#mr. “I refuse to become another goddamn mystery” himself#i’ll cry if I think too hard about him#also for tmagp listeners how was episode 22? :)#also!! this is for a dtiys I’m organising over at instagram! take a peek if you’re interested !#honestly not really any rules or deadlines. tag me if you decide to draw him ! :]#allowed myself a one day break from commissions and animating to finish this boy#(i am this 🤏 close to burnout but alas i shall persist)#jonathan sims#jon sims#the magnus archives#tma#magpod#the magnus protocol#magprotocol#the archivist#tma fanart#fanart#illustration#digital painting#digital art#dtiys#my art
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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REPLICA PLAYLIST
MUSIC UNDER CUT
I have been receiving requests for any songs that inspired Replica, so here, have my personal playlist. Sorry it’s not Spotify/Soundcloud but they don’t have some of these songs available so uh… guess you’re stuck with YouTube vids. For fun I'll include my personal titles for them (which might give a few hints of what to expect in the future/end).
Replica Main Theme - “Die for You” by Grabbitz Like Father Like Son Like Brother (Omega and Shelldon) - "As Above So Below" by Alistair Lindsay Mikey's Theme / The 1st Vision - "Suzume no Tojimari" by Nanoka Hara Military (Mad) Dogs / Central Park Colony - "Imperium" by Madeon Shanghai - "Icarus" by Madeon Boom Goes the Donnie-mite (Mikey/Donnie vs the Sweeper) - "The Red Zone" by Mitsuoto Suzuki The Day the Sky Bled Red - "7 Seconds Till the End" by Nobuo Uematsu Going Out Like a Boss (Raph and Leo) - "Agape" by Nicholas Britell Remembering the Right Way (Mikey and Leo) - "The Souls of Many" - by Alistair Lindsay Mystic Hands / The 2nd Vision - "Am I Dreaming" by Metro Boomin x A$AP Book 2 Trailer - "Sea Dragon" by Covet 7 Years Later - "Iron" by Woodkid Leo's Theme / Attack on the Labor Camp - "Ego Death" by Polyphia Omega's Theme - "Touch" by Daft Punk Flat Lines (Omega Alone) - "Die Toteninsel Emptiness" by 1000 Eyes Spear - "Monsters" by Tommee Profitt Final Protocol - "The Kraken" by Katie Dey Rise / Epilogue - "Close in the Distance" by Masayoshi Soken & Tom Mills
I will admit, it's a little embarrassing since you can easily see the patterns of what I've been listening to for the past year or two. I swear I listen to more than just videogame OSTs, these songs just jive well with the story and I often find lyrics distracting when brainstorming scenes. Regardless, the music I listen to is such an important part of my creative process and some of these songs really defined the scenes I now have locked in my head. So I figured it was only fair to give them the credit they're due.
I will continue to add to this playlist, and will note in comic updates when one of these songs is applicable!
#lofi Donnie anyone?#also sort of celebration for 19k followers wow#should I do something else for it?#I particularly like Leo's theme being titled Ego Death#very fitting#Also the final song makes me cry because the lyrics are just too dang perfect#I'd like to do an animatic with the song when this story is all done#check out the lyrics if you get the chance#in fact I'd like to do an animatic trailer for the Book 2 Teaser#we'll see though#i can't allow myself to get too distracted from the comic itself haha#replica#rottmnt replica#kathaynesart#playlist#music#spoilers? but like... you know how it ends in the movie so not really?#kind of?#did you see the rise movie?#then you’ve been spoiled sorry#posting again at an ungodly hour#I am tired#save rottmnt#rottmnt#TMNT#Donatello#casey jones
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lazy sunday
#ellen joe#zzzero#zenless zone zero#zzz fanart#animation#<-barely counts. honestly#tumblr crushed this to pieces i am going to cry#i really need to stop posting at bedtime on weekdays#sixxtytoo
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“I want you to stay with me, because you want to. Only if you want to”
also a version with strings:
OG:
Everybody raving about the “I didn’t realize you think sow low of me” while I’m still obsessing abt this
edit: forgot to add the second ver. so adding it in now
#Broooooo I am so sick of people piling on Stolas for being a hypocrite and assuming the worst#and I’m so sick of people blaming Blitzo and failing to realize how insecure he is about being loved#helluva boss blitzo#helluva blitz#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss fanart#helluva boss stolas#stolas goetia#stolitz#full moon helluva boss#full moon episode#I deadass think he handles giving the asmodean crystal really well#this scene made me cry#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#art#helluva boss fandom
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stOP HURTING HER!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
#like UGH! LEAVE HER ALONE!!! PLEASE!!! *sobs*#Vi baby I love you and I am so sorry this is happening to you you deserve only the best#I hope ep7 is just full of fluff and vi getting the warm bed and hot bath and care she needs and deserves#Ik caitvi have a little lovers tiff but like pLEASE#I could cry for her I really could#vi#vi arcane#caitvi#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane s2#arcane season 2 spoilers
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(pre-calam) filling the compendium :-)
+ closeup and the aftermath
#i am PRAYING that this posts okay and nothing gets squished or looks ugly. but if it is youcant tell me because ill cry#okay. anyways.#zelink#zelda#link#loz#botw#totk#link botw#zelda botw#loz fanart#for some reason trying to format this became a sisyphean ass task so now i just want to post it and go lie down or something#“why use warm colours if theyre on satori mountain” idk.... i liked how they looked :)#ok what else. ummm. so we KNOW zelda filled the compendium like she was running the navy right#its really funny because i dont even think its ever mentioned other than like. maybeeee one throwaway line from purah?#but there was a fandom osmosis moment bcus everyone Knew she'd be on top of it. and its true. she would be.#my art
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just when he thought he felt closer to him because he finally understood his struggles, resolve, and responsibilities… turns out he doesn't know the half of it... its ok sakura and ume, everything will be ok soon. (o・・)ノ”(ノ<、)
#he really looks up to umemiya 🥹 i am crying#ragi-senpai pls come to the rooftop huhu (。•́︿•̀。)#wind breaker#wbk#wbk spoilers#wind breaker spoilers#sakura haruka#umemiya hajime#wbk sakura#wbk umemiya#haruka sakura#hajime umemiya#wbk manga#wind breaker manga#mangaedit#wind breaker (satoru nii)#wind breaker official art#wbk official#wbkedit#windbreakeredit#sakura#umemiya#my edits#nanaqueue(♡´͈༝`͈)ฅ˒˒
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DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989) dir. Peter Weir
#neilperryedit#robert sean leonard#dpsedit#deadpoetssocietyedit#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#useraish#tuserkaren#mialook#usernivi#tusermiles#userrlaura#dailyflicks#*mine#*mygifs#but he doesn't know ! because he doesn't even really know neil#not to take what i said in my lane edit but it's literally trying so hard to be this person that your parents want you to be !#like your parent will never see you how you actually are because they're so busy trying to force you to be this whole other person#the tragedy that is neil perry will never not get to me like i'm sick to my stomach and i am crying my eyes out#he tried he tried so hard to be his best and he just wanted this one thing for himself#also this scene is lowkey my enemy bc i hate coloring it#i feel like it always looks kind off ?
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#catherine tate#freema agyeman#someone has probably done this already but here i am with my version!!!!#one more week of work left before winter break!!!#i can't waitttt#then i can read all my dw books in peace and cry over these two all over again :')#also i really like how the colouring came out for the 3rd gif
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never forget...
read again?
no you did not see me repost this, shh
hemlo!! thank ya'll so so much for enjoying this lil comic series!! i know it's been a year since the first part, but most importantly i finished it 💀✨️
every single tags ya'll leave on me posts and past questions i recieve about this au is super appreciated, they make me smile the widest you have no clue!! im just a lil mad at myself that i couldn't expand on this au more so yall could have had more crumbs. irl stuff happened + still getting the hang of drawing and socializing again after years of doing neither of those 😭
but still, im glad i could share this comfort comic i made for myself, and for you guys too. it's a pretty personal one despite the characters not being mine 😅 i hope that you can walk away from this story believing (entirely or not) that someone out there still thinks of you, whether they're from a late/absent loved one who still wants the best for you or a dear friend who will make room in their hearts for you. life will never not be hard, but if you keep them close to your heart, adulting will be bearable 🫂
thank you so much for reading 💕
#as for this au's future (from me) i actually also have a spongebob and jimmy version of how timmy reveals to them the forgor thing#but i honestly dunno if i can get back to them soon. i'm working on a go comic that i already started#plus burnout. i wanted to take a break 🥲 maybe someday i'll revisit the idea#but go hogwild on playing around this au yourself idc how much u wanna strangle them i am still gonna cry at that shit 😭#but seriously thank you everyone. i wish i could have done more but thank you thank you thank you. really#nicktoons unite#danny phantom#timmy turner#the fairly oddparents#fop#nickelodeon#comics#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#fancomic#i forgor lor
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More Frater Imperator angst bc I am a monster😭
Aether picks up Copia, who is sitting miserably on the floor. The ghoul is worried and asks his former Papa what's on his mind.
Just a little sketch that came to my mind because I love Copia and would love to pick him up, put him in my pocket and protect him from everyone😖
He is just a little guy and needs some comfort!😭
#ghost#the band ghost#cardinal copia#copia#papa emeritus 4#papa emeritus iv#frater imperator#sketches#I love drawing Copia with more intense expressions on his face!#so I made another sketch of Copia having a breakdown and crying really intensly#it looks wonderful imo but it also hurts like hell seeing him like that! I am so sorryyy!#carosart
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actually sometimes being neurodivergent is great bc you have a particular kind of Silly Mode that just . manifests glory. harmless fun is my precious side quest & i have a high score in whimsy. like okay if i gotta be the first dork in the dance pit it's gonna be me and this random toddler and we're gonna avril-style rock ouuuuttt
#i also like starting applause i'm really good at it and have a high score in it#i make entire groups cheer a lot. my friends are used to it . i am bolstered by so many of them being theatre kids#im like. let's celebrate! :) a guy did a thing well!!! :)#once we helped someone parallel park and it was SUCH a hard road to do it on#this is in boston. so death be upon drivers. also it was during st. anthony's feast. in the north end. iykyk#and we helped her get in there (one of my friends tbh stood in traffic for her)#and we cheered when she finally parked. she got out and she was crying and laughing and was like#''that was the hardest thing ive ever done ur so sweet''' and meanwhile we were PARTYING#just stone cold sober but like YEAH GIRL YOU DID THE HARD THING FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!#i've been bullied for so much lol i am immune to most insults at this point bc im like#girl when i was 12 i'd already heard every insult and good lord were they specific. just plain ''crazy'' aint it
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What up LWA fandom :) I got something here I've been working on for almost 4 years now, started like kind of a silly thing I wanted to make for aesthetics and ended up being my biggest project so far. I wanted to share them here, but I'll be uploading them without a watermark on my patreon soon too.
This is kind of a love letter from me to the show and the people I've shared this interest with. LWA has helped me to grow so much as an artist and a person since back in 2020, when I first joined discord and met a lot of wonderful people who welcomed me as a fellow fan and a friend :)
Idk what else to say, I know the fandom is currently not as active as it was a couple of years ago, but I'm happy I got to finish these, at least for myself and the people still going around who love these characters as much as I do.
#my art#fanart#digital art#drawings#lwa#little witch academia#akko kagari#diana cavendish#amanda o'neill#sucy manbavaran#lotte jansson#constanze amalie von braunschbank albrechtsberger#jasminka antonenko#chariot dunord#ursula callistis#croix meridies#diakko#diakko week#Of course it has diakko too who do you think I am#tarot cards#kinda not really#Imagine like akko got as famous as chariot and got a set of cards herself#I made it with that intention#i love my sillies#sigh#goes to cry to a corner
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decided to draw some of your guys' tags from my harlequin sun and moon post!!! These guys are so much fun and you're all so funny >w<
#there were so many i wanted to draw!!! I might have to go back and do a part two hehe#also too scared to spam everyone by tagging accounts but i need you guys to know i love you all sm!! sending u all so many little kisses!!!#fnaf#fnaf fan art#fnaf security breach#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#dca fandom#dca au#fnaf sun moon#digital art#artist on tumblr#harlequin#clowns#answered asks#<- this doesn't really count but because i am drawing other people's tags i'm putting it here!#folks commenting on my art really motivate me to keep drawing ;w; you are all so insanely sweet and absolutely make my day every time!!! <3#just over here crying akjsfhsf thank you all so mucchhhhhhh ;;w;;
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You are light...
I'm at the chimera ant arc and every episode my heart crushes a bit more tightly. I suspect it will soon explode.
I really want to do more fanart, hope I will find the time (I wanna draw Kurapika sm). I actually have several complete HxH animatics in my head that I cannot do, it's frustrating af (literally the only free time I have I spend it watching this shit, i'm doomed).
Anyway this anime has occupied my entire brain lately. Or maybe 80%, the 20 other being a random book I'm reading (that I will soon do fanart of hopefully).
#hunter x hunter#hxh#killua zoldyck#gon freecss#killugon#you are light#man these scenes in watercolor where killua rambles about gon being his reason for living#this shit manages to make me laugh and then bam the most tragical thing happens#they made me CRY jesus fuck#i really am invested in this#everything#from every characters to each storyline#immaculate truly#MUSE PROPAGANDA (this is an art tag)
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