#no but for real all those fanboys who swear they know the comics the best will be eating shit

[nburkhardt]

Life is gonna be so much fun knowing how crazy both sets of fans (Swifties & Marvel) are. Like this is definitely gonna set those lame fanboys into overdrive.

[slothssassin]

OC interview - Emilia Cassandra Goodridge

I was tagged by @bellaciaofallout, @wastelandwandererstuff, @marvilus73 and @obvidalous, thank you guys and sorry it took me forever!

Tagging @liaorban and @briarfox13, no pressure of course!

Rules:

1) Choose an OC 2) Answer the questions as them 3) Tag people to do the same

The whole interview is under the cut, it’s long :D

1. What is your name?

Emilia. Emilia Goodridge, if you want the full name. Second name’s Cassandra. But you know, just call me Em, everyone does that.

2. Do you know why are you named that?

My grandma was called Cassandra. As for Emilia, dunno, guess my parents just liked it.

3. Are you single or taken?

In a relationship. 

4. Have any abilities or powers? 

I could kill you from more than a mile away without you even noticing I was there. Does that count? Oh you want something less violent? Uhm, I’m a decent boxer, is that better? No? I’m a mechanic, I’m good with fixing stuff, that should be good, right? 

5. Stop being a Mary Sue. 

How about you stop asking dumb questions? 

6. What’s your eye color? 

Grey. 

7. How about your hair color? 

Didn’t you take a good look already? It’s black. 

8. Have any family members? 

Oh sure, my mum and dad, aunt and uncle, my cousin Lucille. Marius, my best friend, he’s family too. 

9. Oh? How about pets? 

None, though I’d really like one. There’s this cat in the Ash Heap I keep visiting but I can’t take them with me as long as I’m wandering around Appalachia. 

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like? 

I fucking hate Wendigos, oh damn they’re the worst! Have you seen them? She shudders I also don’t like mines. They’re always full of Mole Miners and dark and creepy and yeah... Ohhh shit, and a Scorchbeast suddenly attacking you out of nowhere and you have to kill it and use all your regular ammo, dang I hate being out of ammo. You know what else? People who don’t understand the concept of personal spa- what, that’s enough? Ok. 

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? 

Sure! I like sketching, there’s lots of interesting stuff in Appalachia to see. I usually sketch whatever I like and write down some notes about it. I do sports, swimming is fun if the water wasn’t that damn radiated. Also working on my weapons, my armour, there’s always something to improve. Then there’s reading comics, hunting cryptids - I love the Mothman, have you ever met him? He’s real and- Well, yeah back to the question, I also like so spend time with my friends, usually we dance or make music or have a drink together, always fun. Huh, enough again? Alrighty. 

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before? 

Yeah, sure. 

13. Ever… killed anyone before? 

Shit, that’s the Wasteland, that’s how things work here. You either kill or get killed. 

14. What kind of animal are you? 

What kind of animal I am?? How the fuck should I know that? 

15. Name your worst habits? 

Ha, Cil sometimes says I curse too much. Hmm, I also get angry easily I guess? 

16. Do you look up to anyone at all? 

Hell yeah! The Responders are awesome, have you heard of them? They really helped us out a lot when we left the Vault. Also my parents are great people. Marius - I really admire him for just doing his thing no matter what others say. Cil is such a sweetheart too, always ready to help people. Ben, he’s amazing, I love how he keeps going on even if he’s afraid of something. 

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual? 

Bisexual. 

18. Do you go to school? 

She laughs I’m a bit too old for school, don’t you think? Nope, those school days are long gone. 

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day? 

Dunno, never thought about it. 

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys? 

No? Not like I’m famous or anything? 

21. What are you most afraid of? 

That’s no one’s business. 

22. What do you usually wear? 

Functional stuff, cargo pants, tops, I got this one leather jacket I really love. She points at the chair next to her - there’s a brown leather jacket lazily hung up on the back. You know I usually also put armour on when I’m travelling around, you never know who you meet out there. Ohh and I love collecting Nuka Cola shirts, or Mothman stuff, hoodies, flannels, lots of clothes I like. 

23. What’s one food that tempts you? 

Firecracker berries are the best! As for a hot meal, I do like Crispy Cave Cricket, out of all the amazing stuff Cil cooks that must be the best. 

24. Am I annoying to you? 

What? No, not yet. 

25. Well, it’s still not over! 

Okay? 

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)? 

Not really a thing anymore in the Wasteland, right? 

27. How many friends do you have? 

I got a few good ones and that’s all that matters, I don’t need a lot. I got my cousin Cil who’s just such a great person, my best man Marius, Ben of course… Happy to have them. 

28. What are your thoughts on pie? 

Oh damn, I love pie! Cil makes the best Starberry Cobbler I swear. 

29. Favorite drink? 

You mean booze or like, regular? Both? Ok. Soo I really like Nuka Cola Orange or Wild. Mutfruit tea is good too, but only if it’s sugared. As for booze, I started brewing beer and at first it tasted like shit but I’ve gotten a lot better. Also Ouzo, I’m always in for an Ouzo. 

30. What’s your favorite place? 

The Giant Teapot or the Palace of the Winding Path. Oh dang and the Mire, it’s beautiful there.

31. Are you interested in anyone? 

Hey man I already told you I’m in a relationship, right? 

32. That was a stupid question… 

Yeah, kinda. 

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? 

Both!! Lakes we have here, but I’d really love to see the ocean one day. 

34. What’s your type? 

Oh you know, someone who can make me laugh, someone funny who shares my sense of humour? Intelligence is hot, hmm, someone who cares about other people’s well-being? I like that. 

35. Any fetishes? 

Shit that’s a tad personal, don’t you think? 

36. Camping or outdoors? 

Wait, you mean camping or indoors? Question doesn’t make much sense otherwise you know? She hesitates for a moment Well, yeah, I like both? I don’t mind camping while I’m wandering around, it’s fun. But it’s also nice to get back home.

Ok, that’s it then? Alright.

[raccoonpatriotism]

260 [Random, Useless Headcanons 📂] from @homeofthevan | Part 2 Explosive Boogaloo

1-100: Here

101: He’s always had an, uh, ‘excellent’ temperament with old women - starting from being forced to help out at Old Folks Homes to get him out of the Orphanage. 

102: He yells to show he cares. 

103: He also yells for the sake of it.

104: You have to constantly say his name if you want him to continue to be part of the conversation.

105: that’s why he so often repeatedly uses names, nicknames, a simple ‘son’ when speaking to people.

106: He assumes everyone’s just like him until proven otherwise.

107: Along with what I said earlier about him not being empathetic; he really isn’t able to visualize himself in someone elses shoes unless he’s been walked through, like, a specific a few times. 

108: He respects Miss Pauling the most out of everyone he knows. 

109: Smissmas and Thanksgiving are tied for his favorite holiday.

110: Jane really likes Halloween though, and isn’t a grump on Valentines day. 

111: <- Jane’s password for anything he owns that requires a password. More 1s if necessary.

112: When he’s thirsty he’ll go to the nearest form of water for hydration - catch him just drinking out of the bathroom sink - leaning up as he wipes his mouth, chirping, “Hello, private.”

113: He guzzles coffee like it’s fuel, but he has a very strict, No Caffeine after lunch protocol.

114: Decaff is for WIMPS.

115: Jane plays the trombone.

116: Subsequently, in most music, he appreciates and hums along with the bass parts.

117: Modern AU-Jane may be a Call of Duty fanboy, but he respects Halo for being another accurate depiction of life on the battlefront. 

118: Speaking of modern Jane, the Military didn’t accept him in the 80s either.

119: His love for the military lead him to believe for sure he’d be accepted he was the Perfect Patriot and his enlistment would be a surefire way to help fund his transition--

120: But of course, as strong as he had become he’d spent his youth very sick and with the possibility of the illness to return along with a terrible psyche eval and 80s typical transphobia that lane was firmly closed.

121: At least he had DOOM to fall back on. And he was physically strong enough to hold down jobs to at least pay for testosterone.

122: And then Call of Duty came out and he became an early era streamer. (Went viral as one of those guys who basically RPs being an actual soldier in the voice chat.)

123: BACK TO CANON JANE because those headcanons just.. plain, aren’t useless. canon jane doesn’t have to deal with transphobia. tch.

124: He’s not the best to have on your football team as menacing as he is. He’ll start tackling everybody. Running the wrong way. Trying to steal the ball from his teammates.

125: If you tell Jane something’s American after he criticizes it, watching him backtrack is really fun.

126: Jane doesn’t get sick often, which is good because he is insufferable. Either goes full isolation straight up outside somewhere. Or is whining to everyone and everyone how it’s not allowed that he can’t be burrowing somewhere outside.

127: His hands are always warm - if they’re cold he’s probably having an Episode of some sort. 

128: Rock and Roll helps his tinnitus, though he’ll still refer to it as Hippy Garbage. Like most music.

129: Jane could probably tapdance if given proper shoes. Mmm no, he’d stomp through the floor. Horse level clomping.

130: He’ll be the hype-man for anyone on his team.

131: Despite not being a fan of mint flavoring, he loves himself a candy-cane.

132: His thumb isn’t double jointed - seeing someone showing off their double jointed-ness would have Jane proclaiming magic was necessary.

133: LT. BITES lightning round!! Lt. Bites sees jane as its “General” 

134: It got the bite taken out of its ear fighting over sour cream - it won.

135: Jane doesn’t give any raccoons a higher rank than Bites.

136: Lt. Bites doesn’t crave human flesh or anything, but it likes the sensation of biting people!

137: Jane has tried to get his raccoon a job at RED.

138: You can tell when Jane is having a really good day on the battlefield because you’ll round the corner and there’s Naked Soldier.

139: He’s waxing poetry about the beauty of the Male Form, take it in you soft quivering maggots. 

140: I can’t get the image of Jane crowd surfing out of my head? That’s, like, his ideal dream for being recognized for his heroics. Medals and a mosh in his Honor.

141: Anytime he sees a Bald Eagle he entirely stops what he’s doing to place his left hand over his heart.

142: Jane loves The Art of War and is still awaiting Sun Tzu’s next book.

143: [ Alcohol ] Jane only sees ghosts when he’s starving, drunk, or suffering from a concussion. And it’s merely a way for such a boar minded guy to internalize what’s going on around him.

144: He can touch his toes keeping his knees straight.

145: Jane has minor ice-skating knowledge, as most growing up in the midwestern united states do. He’s not, good, though, he’s really intent on Taking Steps instead of gliding.

146: Put him in front of a piano and he’s holding out on finger and pressing down on one key at a time like an old man at a desktop keyboard.

147: Jane is ready to beat up your father. 

148: Especially if your dad is shitty, unleash good ol’ Solly on him.

149: While he favors picking his nose with his pinkies, neither of his pinkie pads have any feeling.That makes them a little less dexterous when the time comes.

150: He’s always aching to be active, his brain will take things literally if it means he’ll be doing something.

151: Rum pineapple juice and malibu caribou -- Er. He doesn’t like pineapple flavoring. Isn’t a fan of mixed drinks in general? 

152: He’s capable of staying out of the picture and not picking his nose, often times if things aren’t focused on him he’ll just sorta.. Stand out of the way playing with his hands - rifling through his pouches. Some times he’ll even, *gasp* pay attention. 

153: He really likes to but in with his opinion is the thing.

154: He’s an American and his ideals must be heard.

155: Merasmus out here having doing the most for Soldier, in helping him reintegrate back into society. You think he’s bonkers now?? Psh. You should’a seen him fresh home from Poland.

156: He’s shown up to Civil War reanactments with a real gun.

157: Jane is incapable of yawning silently.

158: Stairs are overrated.

159: Catch Jane with a lukewarm mug of water pouring coffee grinds directly into it and saying “Damn, that’s a fine cup of Joe.”

160: Only. 100 left? Sweet Joseph Wetnurse of Jesus He’s got dirty blond hair leaning toward brunette.

161: Any righteous death deserves a warrior’s burial - That’s why you’ll find Jane, helmet over heart, giving a stirring eulogy about the Toilet from the Men’s Restroom that Got Unearthed and Shattered By... Nobody In Particular. 

162: He will just join in large groups of people  - like protests? He’ll just fall in line and preach his own stuff which sometimes doesn’t exactly align with the group at large.

163: i asked myself, would jane pick someone else’s nose? Yes.

164: His hugs are always really warm.

165: He would notice his wallet being pickpocketed - unless it was replaced by something the same weight. He’s like a temple from Indiana Jones.

166: Mentally? Jane’s fine with being alone, but. That leads to him living in a box or a room straight out of that “Damn, bitch, you live like this?” comic.

167:  Despite deep cold being triggering to him (SEE HC, 67.), he loves snow-forts and hot chocolate because those are great American past-times.

168: next one is this post’s 69 brace yourselves! Jane’s never truly in silence, the constant whistling in his ears will see to that. That’s why sometimes, when it is quiet, you’ll catch Jane looking into space like he’s trying to see where the sound is coming from.

169: Important to note, he ain’t popping a boner any time he’s fighting nude. Or, really, fighting any time. Intent is really important for him. (If he gets all rubbed up on, though, Well,)

170: Jane is under the assumption that everything he comes up with is ingenious and people like Red Spy are holding society back by ignoring such wide plans.

171: He’s secretly soothed by everyone on his team’s voices.

172: First off, himself. He loves to hear himself talk. Mostly fueled by self-important intent, the tenor of his own voice also soothes his eardrums.

173: Pyro’s is muffled yet energetic - and never fails to get Jane pumped up.

174: Scout’s got that accent that is pure and simple, American. Soldier may not listen to half of what he says, but for background buzz and funny colloquialisms 

175: And, Engie's accent garners a whole other sort of American respect out of the Soldier. As far as soothing goes? Engie’s is like butter.

176: Soldier hate’s Heavy’s accent on principle, but below his American Stubbornness is a love for the deep, thoughtful symbols Heavy provides. Plus, y’know, he appreciates a fellow loud guy.

177: Demo’s voice makes Solly a happy man. It used to make him furious, an all Scottish accents did, but more recently it makes him feel nostalgic. 

178: Jane would swear up every mountain he can that there’s nothing positive to be found in Spy’s accent, but zoning out to such poised speech patterns and rounded vowels is a common occurrence. 

179: When Sniper gets that gravelly tone going on, when he takes things really seriously? Jane like that.

180: Jane can’t find it in him to be really put off by anything Medic says during surgery, so his voice only causes a feeling of safety throughout the Soldier. He can’t get enough of hearing Enthusiasm in the Medic’s voice.

181: He doesn’t believe the Police can arrest him because they aren’t the official Government.

182: He looks at a baby and is like “What animal is this?”

183: Big hands.. talented at giving massages.

184: BEWARE HIM BREAKING YOUR SPINE - just specify ‘and don’t kill me’!

185: Jane doesn’t gossip so much as, be around people who are gossiping which makes him want to make up some Hot Goss. Also, he’ll act like every rumor someone else shares is spoken truth.

186: Jane picked up finger guns from Scout. He either uses it constantly or doesn’t use it for weeks at a time.

187: He lifts, broskis.

188: Jane will talk about trucks because the Average American Male is expected to. He knows nothing about cars.

189: He’s an impulsive liar, so caught up in in his web of ‘things he says to impress people’ that he believes everything he says. So are the woes of being an adult with ADHD.

190: He goes between being smell-blind and having the scent skills of a bloodhound. It’s probably a mental thing, because there’s no in between, but Jane doesn’t know anything.

191: i’ve been working on these for 5 days at this point... i hope they’re appreciated JANE prefers..soft food. jane Does Not lov the cronch.

192: Which is what makes cashews his favorite nut. they’re soft-ish. and they have just enough crunch to not gross him out.

193: He loves immediate gratification. 

194: Beyond joining the Military? Jane’s never had a solid plan for his future. Lives too in the moment. 

195: As long as he’s having fun, Jane’s a pretty content guy.

196: Any artistic skills he may have once had go into making Maps for war planning sessions.

197: He’ll fall victim to Sleep Paralysis occasionally and, once able to move, will spend the rest of the day curing ghosts and Merasmus’ magic.

198: He was SUPER into Howdie Doodie Time in his youth, and being put in front of any reruns will have him basically hypnotized into silence.

199: He’s proud of his ass.

200: Jane can keep marching pace for hours at a time. And if he’s not lugging around his rocket launcher he can keep marching for an entire day no pausing. 

201: Jane isn’t shy about telling jokes, because he believes everyone has the same sense of humor as him.

202: He knows karate but refuses to use his knowledge because it is not an American Form. He will stick to brute strength and loud yelling thank you very much.

203: He’s the type to state every time he’s going to use the bathroom. Like, people can be having a serious conversation and hes like, “I am going to take a shit now!”

204: Jane’ll go a week without washing his hair, but he always brushes his teeth two times a day.

205: He gives a damn good kiss.

206: All Human Nudity is safe for work. As it was God’s Intention to make people strongest when not held back by fabric.

207: All he wants is recognition.... for his good deeds...

208: He’ll have staring contests with the Sun. He’s yet to win, but that damn star shouldn’t get too comfortable.

209: Much like his pinkies, his feet have been crushed, blown up, and bruised so many times that he doesn’t have much feeling in them either.

210: He’s never washed his bellybutton.

211: He prefers savory to sweet, but he prefers sweet to sour.

212: Half assing is not in Jane’s vocabulary.

213: His brain will get stuck on simple Math - like, he tries his best to figure it out, it’s just.... Numbers..... they are a construct. And so he’ll end up pondering what 5+7 is for, like, 5 minutes.

214: Jane is constantly torn between wanting to be a Figure of Authority and also being a man born in the trenches following orders.

215: Have I mentioned lately Jane fucks? 

216: Jane’s room is sparsely decorated, but it’s only because he’s not materialistic and doesn’t generally receive gifts.

217: He’s more than willing to strip Right This Moment and fight something.

218: Jane’s not afraid to call other people losers.

219: He crops his own hair once a week. Same day he’ll do his wash.

220: Jane’s stubble grows in really fast, but he can’t deny the feeling of having a freshly shaved jaw is amazing.

221: If a teammate is struggling emotionally..... Jane walks away.

222: If they’re struggling again, /then/ Jane will give them some uncalled for American Advice. Like, meaningfully yelling “GET OVER IT, YOU SLOBBERING FOOL.”

223: He has a very, very high pain threshold. 

224: He accidentally walks into walls all the time.

225: He can’t magically see through his helmet - he just knows everyone’s feet super well.

226: It’s good that Lt. Bites is a wild, self sufficient animal because Jane is terrible at pet care. And child care. And any sort of care.

227: On the very rare occasions Jane gets overwhelmed with depression he’s a shadow of his former self questioning the sanctity of American Ideals and wondering aloud if War really is the answer to his problems.

228: Next day he’ll be fine and forget he was ever upset.

229: He’s never gotten a real back massage before, if he were to get one he’d probably literally melt? Some women he’s slept with liked to say sensually ‘oh what a big tense man you are’ and, like, weakly rub his back. they didn’t get paid to fix this man’s back muscles LMAO

230: Any backwards period-typical beliefs about women went out the window upon meeting Miss Pauling.

231: His love for America is truly as pure as it gets.

232: Jane’s pretty xenophobic, but he can learn better, I’m sure. he’s gotten his ass kicked for being ignorantly racist and he grew to be a better person.

233: He takes really well to learning things through violence, the only issue is.. dealing with Soldier Being Violent.

234: There’s nothing a fist to the face won’t fix.

235: He’s not much of a napper, his brain being far too active to let him rest during daylight hours.

236: He’s constantly moving, even in sleep.

237: Hell, give him a few hours after being knocked unconscious and he’ll start wiggling something around.

238: He doesn’t stop to smell the flowers, because if they wanted to be smelled they’d approach him.

239: He believes in the good of all humans, it’s just buried down past his Fight Everyone radar.

240: He only likes musicals about fighting Hitler.

241: His biggest regret is not punching Hitler.

242: He does not fear death, he does not fear punishment. He lives for his ideals and if he’s taken down believing in himself? Then that’s okay.

243: Jane needs deodorant reminders.

244: He takes personally being betrayed as people betraying the country of America.

245: (oh shit i slacked off it’s been like two days since i wrote something, Who Is Soldier?) CEREAL THEN MILK, MAGGOTS

246: Jane doesn’t know the word migraine so he really can’t describe how he feels.

247: Look, he loves his friends, he loves his guns, but he’s stingy with the word.. Love because that’s what he feels for America and the country will always be number one.....

248: Jane’s not too partial to sarcasm outside of combat, but it’ll find it’s way into his speech. His tone is usually hammed up to signify he’s joking around or being cruel.

249: He’s like a cartoon character, he can only understand sarcasm if it’s Funny to at the moment.

250: Jane likes his hair being pet.

251: He likes his hands being played with as much as he likes playing with other people’s hands. (A lot.)

252: He loves dogs, but is more of a cat person. Dogs and him just echo energy and HYPE feelings back and forth at each other until they pass out and then Jane feels more emotionally exhausted than hanging out with people.

253: The weirdest parts of rom-coms make him cry. 

254: He appreciates a good non-american explosion, but he has his preferences. 

255: You show Jane genuine kindness and interest and he’s like, Yours. Jane vc: Are you the vice-president?

256: If he were to have a reptile for a sidekick instead of a raccoon, he would have a turtle.

257: He can be delicate when he needs to be, but cracking eggs is a different story.

258: While not too partial to sugary beverages - he has a figure to maintain, root beer and ginger ale are his go-tos.

259: He can appreciate a salad! Jane Doe will eat his greens!!!!

260: Soldier has no tattoos, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be open to getting any. Just never crossed his mind.

SWEET SPIRIT OF JOE BIDEN AM I FINISHED?

thank you,... for reading my garbled thoughts.. for respecting The Soldier... and for being a creative individual. But mostly the respecting Soldier thing.

[chofitia]

Let’s Experience Guardian, Ep. 2

I honestly do not want to raise expectations for regular, weekly updates. And yet...

(2:05) For real, this intro gives me Kingsglaive vibes. And then goes into Persona 3. And then goes back to Kingsglaive. Oh, and because I didn’t mention it last time: the timed cuts are... a thing. Like, some of them are cheesy, and others seem hella contrived. “My first AMV” contrived.

(2:16) Last time on Dragon Ball Z

(2:38) Those were some convenient-ass bushes. Also, I don’t know if I should accept Shen Wei’s pristine condition or not.

(2:50) Okay, so Zhao senses BS, too.

(3:12) Something, something, Ring of the Lucii. Something, something, I swear to the tiniest baby Christ that if his eyes start glowing...

(3:24) Cut to fish.

(3:25) Cut to pai-sho xiangqi.

(3:45) Oh, are we getting a major antagonist? Who has magenta hair? Please stop making this easier, show...

(4:32) This is going to be the slowest of burns, isn’t it?

(4:41) Oh, God.

(4:47) Oh, God, I saw that coming.

(5:10) That isn’t the best intervention but it’s a hell of a lot better than last episode’s.

(5:21) Wow, how convenient. And symbolic.

(6:10) Yeah, and now we’ve returned to suck.

(6:20) Oh. 

(6:49) Just? JUST? FAA--

(8:20) Oh, man. The more I hear about Li Qian and her grandmother, the less I want them involved in all this BS.

(8:35) Zhao. I know this is flirting.

(8:51) By the way, “So many people must be after you” is also a Gladnis staple.

(9:45) “______ have been appearing more frequently these days” is such a pre-2000 JPRG thing to say.

(11:08) Aw, Tien Shinhan Chu’s a fanboy.

(13:00) How convenient.

(14:00) Okay, so is Zhao this laid back because _____? 

A) he knows Things  B) has seen Things  C) just because  D) all of the above

(14:30) Somebody’s a little thirsty...

(15:10) Wow, you sure stepped into it. Then again, you wouldn’t know...

(16:45) Strange how the MacGuffin is all out in the open now.

(17:20) An attempt was made

(17:55) Real talk, set a plate of steamed broccoli with lemon in front of me and my reaction would be the same, for the same reasons.

(19:07) So the MacGuffin has a name.

(19:30) Once again, I curse my inability in reading Chinese.

(19:38) Welp, here we go.

(20:13) An attempt was made

(20:20) So Guo can be a tenacious little shit. Cool.

(20:35) Just making sure there are no eye-witnesses. NBD.

(21:14) Shen Wei’s dedication to the masquerade is admirable.

(22:00) Making my way downtown, walkin’ fast, gettin’ caught in some puppet strings... (Yeah, old meme. Sue me.)

(22:10) Then again, maybe not.

(22:16) Again, pissed I can’t read Chinese. I need all the details! Give me the delicious world-building!

(23:15) Time to put the pieces together.

(23:25) “Horizon” for this shot?

(24:00) Zhao, you are like ten minutes older than she is. Though, okay, 20s!me is different from 30s!me.

(25:45) Li Qian, you don’t want the answer to that.

(26:50) So no one is even going to bother with the masquerade around here anymore?

(28:06) This hurts so fucking much, and is so fucking Symbolic.

(28:40) Okay, hasn’t outlived his usefulness yet.

(29:21) Shen Wei, please stop having two conversations at once.

(30:34) Oooh. Does Li Qian have Powers? Does Li Qian get Powers?

(30:53) Hello again.

(31:27) How many more episodes is the Black Cloak Envoy going to be a competent Tuxedo Mask?

(34:05) I don’t know if I’m 100% with Guo being comic relief. It was toned down a lot from episode 1. Cool, cool. I know some of you assholes are waiting for me to start squeeing over Shen Wei’s suit in this scene. I will not give you the satisfaction.

(35:20) Guo. Stop.

(36:00) This isn’t going to be abused in fic at all...

(38:34) Oh, my God, they really did that.

(40:40) I just got flashbacks to Three Kingdoms.

(41:30) For a second I though Chu was going to imply that he Shipped It.

(42:00) Well, that’s... not... good...

(42:20) And cue “Ardyn II”

[meandmyechoes]

So I think I’ve done more Chinese writing than I’ve had in the past five years during last month. It was... exhausting, but I also enjoy spinning it a little rewriting the novel in a different language. 

Now I’m actually writing a full length prose, one can finally see the trauma left by my middle school teacher. There’s like, at least 30% idioms in my chapters. I just, I’ve been conditioned into stuffing as much idioms as I can UNDER JUST A YEAR, and there’s no turning back. I mean, yes, idioms are excellent to convey ideas concisely, but they could be pretentious if overflown; especially when you write in a language that leans towards colloquialism as Cantonese. I just know a lot of idioms and sometimes it’s difficult not to use these minimalist words? I know where the line lies though. It’d be good to sum up an event, but re-consider if they are superfluous adjectives. 

Well, getting into this mess did inspired me to write two poems and a drawing, so I guess it has some benefits in the end?

Onward, I do miss writing English fiction so bad. I wrote a few essays in the meantime, but the last time I wrote a story was what? last summer? I should just sit down and write it like I’m doing now. I’ve been watching a ton of panels & interviews stuff, digging up the gems of Star Wars weekends. It’s hilarious and I want to make a non-show TCW resources masterpost later on. But just combing through that comics list is quite a work, and I have to sort out the download links. yeah. 

But like, I meant to talk a little about lunar new year in the diary post. And I actually have something never fully plumbed in my draft regarding some... rumour that I’ve now forgotten. Well, I want to say that it’s been a hectic month. I barely know what I did since the year started. Life’s still shit, but it’s very oblivious, you know. I don’t need to go into details here, it won’t change anything overnight. Just so if anyone’s reading, I’m of sound health, just moody. 

Let’s talk about something I haven’t even discussed inside my own head. So the past month, we’ve basically been helping my gramps move and renovating our own house as well. Very often we worked very late and it completely drained me. But I know Mom is working a lot harder than I am and I want to do my best to lessen her worries. In principle, I would gladly help out but it’s this, tcwaw, the translation, and the deadline of making a cny outfit, and mom breathing down my neck to exercise with the fam, plus having my hair cut in three years rather unwillingly, on top of my terrible self-maintenance (and that ever-lasting shadow of my college). phew, it’s a lot. and I got really, really depressed because I couldn’t finish tcwaw. I feel like, I’m betraying a pact or something okay. I know I took this too seriously and well, any day is tcw appreciation day here. but I tried really hard to make something and I really wanted to complete the challenge, to do this together. So at least, I’m letting myself down. and then there’s the fact that the first post didn’t garner as much notes as I wanted... but all of them are quality responses so thank you... (brb crying again)

Next, I’ve bitched about this many, many times but the negativity of the Forum! Like, pal and i are trying very hard to sway it back into some positive discussion and actual content with the translation, but these men are even bitchier than i am when it’s about the sequels. Like, I don’t expect a comment, it’d be a blessing if someone even clicked readmore. I’m doing it more out of my own interest but damn those manbabies! I understand the internal misogyny in Cantonese swears. Yet, it is the user that chose to aim that tool at a very public platform to express their anger. I just, expect, humans to be better-versed? The worst one of them is a father to a little girl! I’m not saying you can’t complain, I’m saying make it count. 

THE (COMPLETE LACK OF) READING COMPREHENSION ON THAT SITE. okay, let’s go all out bitch. Like, I would expect my partner to be a little better at this, like he reads, right? but no. not only did he misinterpret a singular question on the forum that effectively brought my intention to raise discussion to a full stop, he often mistranslate lines, and just, he’s just a stereotypical straight guy with a stereotypical view on “women + star wars”. It’s wearing me out and I don’t really find anything to learn from that guy. But I also pity him and it’s just bad practice for me to ghost people and cut off another unnecessary backdoor. It’s like he doesn’t really have anyone to talk to about Star Wars, and his contribution to the local fanbase is objectively admirable. This guy still thinks I’m a fellow dudebro, who might be a little obsessed. He has stepped on my toes before (and our circadian rhythm is just, opposite) and well, I learnt to be patient and ask for clarification before giving the other person a lecture. So I guess I could milk some benefits out of this relationship. It will fade eventually anyway. (For the record, I do not think this is deception. My gender is simply unnecessary professionally.)

And you know what’s really funny, to this day, I haven’t revealed I am a girl either on the forum or privately. But I’ve implied so before. I said, young girls like action figures too but unfortunately *I* personally don’t find them pretty-looking enough to buy as a child. I didn’t want to give it out then and still don’t now, but I thought that was quite easy a hint to read? (Because if I’m not a girl, my personal experience carries no weight, and so the only logical conclusion for the relevance and necessary inclusion of that example, is that I’m a girl) (and this is discounting all the Gina mess before. They are quite reasonable with that. but wonder why no one ever brought up her transphobia?) 

I don’t know, sometimes just reading them joke about how women don’t understand star wars, do i laugh or shake my head? Like, of course they won’t talk to you if you don’t contribute to the fandom. Why would anyone choose a whining fanboy over a creative writer? Like, do I charge in and say haha fool’s on you, I’ve been a girl all along and you guys are liking my meta posts like leeches. That’s ridiculous. Like, I wouldn’t mind influencing and slipping awareness on feminist issues in Star Wars, but also what am i to condition these strangers on the Internet? I know I have a saviour complex but I should hold them to the same standard as myself, as a responsible adult, right? I just wanna charge in and write about what it really means to read Star Wars through a feminist lens, and how the “representation” they thought was doing right and where it’s not enough, but I know it will fall on deaf ears. and I just wanna swing a bat and ask them to celebrate Star Wars instead. Otherwise the rational action is leaving that space for good, I’m just too busy. alas, alas.

update: [22/2/21]

last weekend they’ve come to talk/joke about how they’ve never meet a female star wars fan. Given, I haven’t in real life either. It was already a less-than popular hobby than most. But it’s the tone they talk about, without ever realizing there is/could be an ”undercover” agent. It’s an unnecessary complicated way of thinking, but I’m amused, laughing at their oblivious shamelessness. When I wrote this I didn’t know the discussion would turn that way, and what a coincidence. I couldn’t keep it much longer and dm mr. partner. we briefly talked about my concern but the topic was quickly changed into a general grievance about the lack of intelligent communication across local forum boards. I felt better after this, but I wonder if I should still strive to bring content towards it. It’s going to be a wasteful investment, but I do want to write some Ahsoka metas possibly, even if it’s just fact files on her inspiration and how tcw came to be. But I’ll have to evaluate if it’s that important I’ll be dropping off every other WIP for. (It’s not, but no sow no reap)

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Is anybody else getting sick and tired of the mainstream press and nerd press basically pretending to be deep cut comic book fans.

Because I swear to God I’ll go ape shit if I hear or see one more goddam video or article or podcast wax lyrical about how in Homecoming they ‘finally got Spider-Man right’ and ‘put him where he belonged’ in the MCU.

These people...okay.

These people ARE real fans...just grossly ill informed and shallow ones who worship at the ass of the MCU.

These are the sorts of people who yes can tell Iron Fist sucked and Doctor Strange was a bit lackluster but they aren’t saying how royally they dropped the ball on those characters.

Because they can’t say that.

Because they don’t know.

Because they’ve never read those characters in any length or depth.

And the same applies times ten with Homecoming.

Enjoying the movie is aokay...but what Spider-Man fan who kows what they are talking about with the character HONESTLY watched Homecoming and was like:

They FiNALLY got him right!

This is the best Spider-Man ever

This perfectly captures what the character is about

All is right in the world now that Spider-Man is part of the MCU

I’m sorry but whether you are a USM or 616 comics fan...this was a laughable rendition of Spider-Man.

Now I’m not saying the Raimi or Webb movies nailed the character 100%. Nor that Holland couldn’t do so (he’s like Henry Cavill in that regard).

But they sure as fuck came closer than this movie did.

Because in iron clad seriousness if you cannot tell that Spider-Man being an incompetent Avengers fanboy crossbred with Miles Morales is fucked up what is wrong with you?

Shit people nowdays are praising Spider-Man 2 all over again alongside Hoemcoming but like...they are literally presenting you with the OPPOSITE thing to one another.

They can’t BOTH have been good because then they’d BOTH need to get the character but the character is drastically different in both.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Let’s Read Comics! With Samantha and her girlfriend :D

And this time we bring you a HAUNTING tale of GHOULISH delights as the Batman must face the prospect of losing something much worse than his life...

He must face the threat of LOSING HIS BUTLER

Presented for the approval of the Midnight Society, we call this tale: The Ghost Who Haunted Batman :D

My Girlfriend: Is he really a gentleman though

Me: Engaging in fisticuffs with this garishly garbed ruffian is most ungentlemanly behaviour

My Girlfriend: MOST UNCOUTH

Me: Also: those horses are FREAKING THE HECK OUT

My Girlfriend: Way too many of these old comics seem to involve animals being frightened

I do not approve

Me: STOP IT BATMAN

UR DOIN THEM A SPOOK

My Girlfriend: NO

Me: DOING THEM A REAL BAD STARTLE

My Girlfriend: I will leave you you fuckin meme

Our tale begins with Batman interrupting a robbery in progress, producing “A bloodchilling cry of alarm!”

My Girlfriend: THAT CERTAINLY CHILLS MY BLOOD

Me: Fun fact, this is where Sean Pertwee gets inspiration for his “British” mannerisms for Alfred Pennyworth in Gotham

My Girlriend: “What are you, thick? Are you all sixes and sevens, eh wot?

I’M THE BLOOMIN’ BATMAN”

Me: THAT PUN

My Girlfriend: That is worse than one of yours kitten

Me: Excuse you my puns are Quality Ethically Sourced Puns made with only the finest pungineering

My Girlfriend: Saying “they’ve got the edge”

While fighting bad guys with an axe and a sword

Is exactly something you would do DO NOT LIE

Batman makes short work of the crooks, remarking they’re lucky that he didn’t “Grab an offensive weapon”

Me: “Get on my bad side and I’ll beat you to death with some racist artwork”

My Girlfriend: He’s going to bludgeon them to death with his copy of Disney’s “Song of the South”

Batman defeats the henchmen just in time for their boss to make his grand entrance however!

Me: BEST

VILLAIN

EVER

My Girlfriend: What the hell am I looking at here

Me: THE BEST VILLAIN EVER

My Girlfriend: How does his hat stay on when he has no head

Me: I love how he has a monocle

To let us know he is a FANCY GHOST

My Girlfriend: A MONOCLE WITH NO EYES

Me: “I Have No Eyes Yet I must Wear a Monocle”

My Girlfriend: NO

I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS

Me: “IF ONLY I HADN’T JUST STARED AT IT”

My Girlfriend: “IF ONLY I HAD DONE SOMETHING”

Me: I love how not only does he NOT shield his eyes he also lowers the ACTUAL shield he had like “Oh well I’m sure there’s no danger in just standing right in front of a glowing bullet that’s hovering in mid air”

And then he’s AMAZED when it turns out to be dangerous

My Girlfriend: And this is the guy who fanboys keep saying could take down ANY CHARACTER regardless of their powers

This guy

Me: YEP

My Girlfriend: damn  fake geek boys

The Gentleman Ghost decides that now is a good time for he and his henchmen to flee, noting that he is “Confident they will never meet again”

My Girlfriend: Because criminals who go up against Batman in this town NEVER do it more than once

Me: The Gentleman Ghost is clearly not a genre savvy villain

Me: “I am so glad there was no one around to hear me say that”

My Girlfriend: Are you proud of yourself right now Batman

Because you shouldn’t be

Batman notes that Hawkman has told him about the Gentleman Ghost while also declaring that he doesn’t believe he could possibly be a real ghost

Me: I love how the Batman can

In the same sentence where he just casually brings up the fact that an ALIEN SPACE COP BIRD MAN is one of his friends

Declare that the Gentleman Ghost MUST be a fake

My Girlfriend: Winged aliens who dress like birds is one thing

Ghosts though?

RIDICULOUS

Me: This despite the fact that Batman HAS MET THE SPECTRE

AND DEADMAN

My Girlfriend: But nope

The Gentleman Ghost is just a step too far

Me: He has some very odd ideas about what pushes the suspension of disbelief

Batman notes that Craddock didn’t just steal priceless gems…

My Girlfriend: Our hero, nobly swearing to bring a criminal to justice because they personally affronted them

Me: “If he’d just robbed POOR people that would be fine

But he stole some of the SOLID GOLD LANTERNS my obscenely wealthy family owns

And that I cannot allow”

Arriving home to the penthouse he’s currently staying in, Bruce notes with surprise that Alfred isn’t around with a cup of hot soup for him. thinking to himself that even though it’s his night off “He’s usually back by now”

My Girlfriend: Wait so he’s expecting Alfred to wait on him hand and foot ON HIS NIGHT OFF

Me: Well of course

What else is he going to do…cook for himself?

My Girlfriend: HEAVEN FORBID

Me: I’m not even kidding when I say it’s canon Bruce Wayne cannot actually make himself a sandwich without Alfred there to do it for him

That’s a thing

That’s in continuity

My Girlfriend: Clearly the real reason he was so desperate to find a way to save Alfred in Batman and Robin is that he LITERALLY CAN’T SURVIVE without him

Me: “Where IS Alfred?

Doesn’t he know that his entire existence needs to be devoted to doing all the tasks for me that any other person older than ten can do for themselves”

Me: :D

My Girlfriend: I know I’m going to regret asking….

Me: BABE

B A B E

KAT-mandu

My Girlfriend: ….

Oh my fuckin god that is genuinely the pun here isn’t it

Me: SHE IS JUST VERY DEVOTED TO HER THEME OKAY

My Girlfriend: That’s not being devoted to your theme that’s being RIDICULOUS

Me: She can’t wait to try some catfish

And then after dinner she’d like to show him her catapult

My Girlfriend: You and her would get on well

Me: Also got to love how Bruce even views answering his own phone a chore

My Girlfriend: “DAMN IT ALFRED

If I have to do ONE MORE basic everyday task that any able bodied person is fully capable of doing…”

Me: Actually he WON’T be tied up tonight

Since he stupidly turned down Selina’s offer of a date

My Girlfriend: You COULD have been tied up Bruce

And you missed your chance

Me: I’m shocked and appalled that Selina didn’t say “Purr-fect here”

My Girlfriend: Maybe she’s trying to wean herself off cat-puns

Me: Why would anyone NOT want to make puns

Bruce finds that Alfred is still not home, as his costume is still laying around, noting that Alfred would surely have put it away for him

Me: The thought of putting HIS OWN DAMN CLOTHES away never even entered his head

My Girlfriend: Anyone could have discovered his secret identity

Just by walking into the wrong room on Alfred’s day off

Me: Bruce Wayne is confirmed as literally being a lazy moody teenager in an adults body

My Girlfriend: Just gonna dump his clothes wherever and let his dad do everything for him

Bruce’s concern grows when he finds out Alfred didn’t come back last night, noting that “Something is definitely wrong”

My Girlfriend: Does he just…NEVER give Alfred a day off?

Me: A day off?

LIKE HE WAS PEOPLE!?!?

My Girlfriend: The role of Bruce Wayne will now be played by Sterling Archer, apparently

Me: “Alfred, if I find you took a personal day I am going to make you eat SO MANY SPIDERWEBS”

My Girlfriend: HE’S BEEN GONE LESS THAT TWENTY FOUR HOURS

Me: Bruce legitimately thinks that if Alfred isn’t cooking, cleaning and waiting on him hand and foot HE MUST BE DEAD IN A GUTTER SOMEWHERE

My Girlfriend: He’s over sixty years old Bruce

LET THE MAN TAKE A DAMN HOLIDAY

While Bruce frets over Alfred’s fate, he goes to speak with Lucius…who warns him that he has an important meeting to chair to try and stop recurring antagonist Gregorian Fallstaff from outbidding him for drilling rights, noting that he “Warned him when that man came to Gotham” that he would be trouble

Me: Lucius knew that anyone with a name like that must be a supervillain

My Girlfriend: People with Obviously Evil Names are ALWAYS bad news Bruce

Me: “No one with such an obviously made up name that no real person actually has could ever be anything but a villain”

Bruce is also told that there’s been no word of Alfred being admitted into any hospitals

My Girlfriend: Bruce is both relieved and also furious that something other than a life threatening injury has prevented Alfred from Butler-ing

Me: “If he’s not in the hospital right now HE’S GOING TO BE”

My Girlfriend: So wait

Gotham

Just happens to randomly have a British pub

Nestled amongst the skyscrapers, strip clubs and casinos that make up every other building there

Me: What American city DOESN’T have a british pub just randomly in the middle of it

My Girlfriend: I am convinced that Alfred is the owner of this pub and he bought it using Bruce’s money so he’d have somewhere to drink

And what preparations must Bruce undertake?

Well….

Me: HE’S CUNNINGLY DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A P.G WODEHOUSE CHARACTER

My Girlfriend: I’d be appalled that this is what bruce thinks British people look like

Except this is comics

So he’s probably right

Me: We’re going to be lucky if there isn’t a Beefeater chilling out somewhere in here

My Girlfriend: If no one here speaks in a “Cockney” accent in this scene I’m going to be genuinely shocked

Me: This is from that period in time where writers based everything and anything remotely “British” on either Doctor Who or Benny Hill

Or both

My Girlfriend: AHHHHHH THERE HE IS

Me: THANK GOD FOR THE IRISH-COCKNEYS

My Girlfriend: Bruce would have been in serious trouble in his search for Alfred, if it weren’t for a helpful Irish-Cockney here

Me: Also…as usual?

How many nights a week does Alfred spend getting drunk

My Girlfriend: He works for a grown man who dresses like a bat and beats up the mentally ill

However many it is it’s not enough

Bruce decides to head home, after failing in his attempts to find any trace of Alfred…only to find that Alfred is back at the penthouse…as is the Gentleman Ghost and his gang!

Me: I feel REALLY bad for this buildings doorman right now

My Girlfriend: The moment he saw the headless spirit in a top hat leading a gang of cockney burglars through the front door he found himself wishing that he’d taken that job in Coast City

Me: “He’s being held hostage by an unquiet spirit so I’ll forgive him slacking off work today”

My Girlfriend: WHY DOES A GHOST WANT TO STEAL ANTIQUES

Me: He just REALLY wants to get on Cash in the Attic okay Rebecca

Me: WHAT PART OF THIS IS HE NOT GETTING

My Girlfriend: The clue is right there in the name Batman

Gentleman

GHOST

Me: Ghosts are not known for being able to be restrained by ropes

Or anything really

Like

You don’t see the people on ghost adventures trying to capture a poltergeist with a net

My Girlfriend: Though I can believe they would

Me: Ah but we’re forgetting that Batman DOESN’T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

He only believes in sensible things

Like men made of shapeshifting clay

My Girlfriend: Or zombies reanimated by cursed swamp water

Me: Or people using special formulas to transform themselves into Were-Bats

My Girlfriend: Down to earth, realistic stuff like that

Me: “COR REGGIE ME OL’ SUNSHINE YOU HOLD THE BLOODY BLIGHTER AND I’LL GIVE ‘IM A BLOODY GOOD THUMPING SO’S I WILL!”

My Girlfriend: RUN BATMAN

VIOLENT COCKNEYS ARE ABOUT TO ATTACK YOU

Me: Can even the might of the Batman triumph over a gang of angry cockneys, driven to senseless violence by the lack of all night kebab shops and cheap lager in Gotham

Batman quickly defeats the Unconvincingly Cockney henchmen and confronts the Gentleman Ghost who declares that if Batman wants him “You simply have to take me!”

Me: is there something the Gentleman Ghost wants to tell us

My Girlfriend: This whole crime spree was just his attempt to seduce Batman

Me: This is what comes from getting dating advice from Catwoman

My Girlfriend: Or possibly from the Joker

Me: “It looks like you’ve CAUGHT me Batman…now what do you plan to DO with me…”

But before he can apprehend the Ghost, Batman is struck from behind

By none other than…

Me: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN

My Girlfriend: Wait

The Master?

Me: (Terrible Russian accent) “I love disguises…do you still like disguises?”

My Girlfriend: NO

NO

IT’S TOO SOON TO BE REFERENCING THAT

Me: Batman was prepared to battle armed thugs and a supernatural apparition

But he was TOTALLY UNPREPARED for an elderly English butler armed with a vase

My Girlfriend: His one weakness

Me: Maybe this is further proof that Batman can handle anything with enough prep time

He wasn’t prepared for Alfred

So he is knocked out easily by him

Bruce tries to ponder why Alfred is working for the Gentleman Ghost and also wonders why he’s now stealing gold and antique furniture instead of jewels, wondering what use they would be to a ghost

My Girlfriend: ….

What use would JEWELS be to a ghost either?

Me: Apparently a ghost stealing diamonds makes TOTAL SENSE but stealing gold and priceless antiques is baffling and strange

My Girlfriend: I FIND FAULT WITH THE INTERNAL LOGIC OF THIS STATEMENT

But Bruce comes to a realisation, declaring that he knows what the Ghost is up to as it’s “The only answer that makes sense”

My Girlfriend: If you say so

I’ve long ago stopped hoping for anything in this story to make sense

Me: I think expecting ANYTHING in this tale to make sense is a Fools Dream

We turn our attention to Stately Wayne Manour and the single BEST moment of this issue, as we learn where Alfred is right now…

My Girlfriend: …..

…………

NO

Me: Can we just talk about that second panel for a minute

My Girlfriend: HOW

Me: Like

The Gentleman Ghost

IS JUST SAT IN THE PUB

WITH A PINT OF BEER

My Girlfriend: He is sat in a fuckin booth

DRINKING HIS BEER

AND NO ONE THINKS IT IS STRANGE

Me: No but it’s better than that

Because just think

He had to order that drink

My Girlfriend: Oh my god he did though

Me: He had to go up to the bar

Talk to the barman

And order a beer

My Girlfriend: Looking like this

Me: A HEADLESS PHANTOM

IN A TOP HAT AND MONOCLE

DRESSED ALL IN WHITE

Just strolled into this Old English Pub

And NO ONE

Not the customers

Not the bartender

NO ONE THOUGHT IT WAS STRANGE

My Girlfriend: The guy Bruce spoke to just said he “Looked like a toff”

That was his take away from this

He sees a headless ghost walk up and order a Guinness and he thinks “He looks quite posh”

Me: Well of course

He’s wearing a monocle after all Rebecca

My Girlfriend: HE HAS NO HEAD

Me: you can’t live anywhere YOU ARE UNDEAD

My Girlfriend: Wait, the style to which he has become accustomed?

WHEN?

Where?

Me: There are TONS of beautiful old country houses in the afterlife

My Girlfriend: I’m going to be so mad if there’s a class system in the afterlife as well

Where all the rich ghosts get the best houses

Batman swoops in and informs the Ghost that he’ll soon swap his clothes for “Prison greys”

My Girlfriend: He STILL won’t accept that the guy is a ghost

Me: I know we know he’s a ghost

But I kind of wish he wasn’t

Because if he was a regular guy then that would mean he went to a pub DISGUISED AS A SPECTRAL APPARITION when he had no reason whatsoever to do so

My Girlfriend: That is so stupid that I love it

Me: It would be some Scooby Doo nonsense

Bruce disarms the Ghost of his pistol but he commands Alfred to pick it up…and turn it upon Bruce!

Me: “Don’t do this Alfred

You know me

YOU KNOW WHAT I’LL DO TO YOU IF YOU TRY IT”

My Girlfriend: Apparently nearly giving Bruce brain damage with a vase was fine though

Me: This is comics

Head injuries are no big deal in this world

Alfred snaps out of it and Bruce assures him that he never thought he would actually shoot him

Me: Awwwwwww

BRUCE BELIEVES IN YOU

My Girlfriend: He knows that if Alfred was going to kill him he’d have done it LONG ago

Given all he has him do for him with only one night off

Me: DON’T SPOIL IT

Bruce pursues the Gentleman Ghost but…              

My Girlfriend: HOW DID HE SET THAT UP SO QUICKLY

Me: The Gentleman Ghost’s REAL power

STAGECRAFT

Me: I like that Batman can appreciate the Ghost’s Villainous Style if nothing else

My Girlfriend: He may have to catch him but he still can take the time to approve of his commitment to his theme

Me: This is the difference between a regular villain and a SUPER villain right here

My Girlfriend: PRESENTATION

Batman mocks the Ghost’s insult as being “Pretty lame” while disarming him

Me: HE DID HIS BEST

My Girlfriend: Batman is less a fan of the Gentleman Ghost’s witty banter

Me: At least it’s better than the kind of repartee he’d get fighting Solomon Grundy or Killer Croc

My Girlfriend: This is very true

My Girlfriend: WAIT

HE STILL DOESN’T BELIEVE HE’S A GHOST?!

Me: Or maybe he’s admitting that he has HAUNTED SHOES

My Girlfriend: No Samantha

Me: PHANTOM FOOTWEAR

My Girlfriend: SAMANTHA NO

But as the Gentleman Ghost and Batman grapple, the horses “Break their tethers” and the coach begins careening towards the edge of a cliff!

Me: IF ONLY WYANE MANOUR WAS IN A LESS DRAMATIC  LOCATION

My Girlfriend: Stately Wayne Manour

This Many Days Since the Last High Speed Chase that ended in Dramatic Irony

Me: Bruce moved into the penthouse because he got sick of all the drag racing teenagers racing off the cliff edge as a Cautionary Tale to their peers

My Girlfriend: This is the kind of shit Edna Mode tries to warn you people about

Me: NO CAPES!

My Girlfriend: WHEN WILL PEOPLE LEARN SAMANTHA

WHEN

Me: “There has to be a logical explanation”

Says the man who dresses up as a bat

And fights cryogenically preserved ice men, an ACTUAL IMMORTAL and a man who developed a way to control people through their headgear

My Girlfriend: And who is Bezzie Mates with MULTIPLE ALIENS, a sorceress, a man possessed by a demon FROM HELL and a ghost who possesses the living

Me: Out of ALL OF THE CHARACTERS in the DCU who should possibly hold any Dana Scully-like views on the existence or lack thereof of the supernatural

Batman is one of the MOST NONSENSICAL CHOICES EVER

My Girlfriend: HE HAS MET GHOSTS BEFORE

ACTUAL GHOSTS

Me: HE KNOWS A WOMAN WHO WAS MADE OUT OF CLAY AND GIVEN LIFE BY THE GREEK GODS

HE KNOWS A FUCKIN FISH MAN

Final Thoughts

My Girlfriend: This was delightfully silly

Me: I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH

It’s just

RIDICULOUS

But in a fun way

Not in a Geoff Johns way

My Girlfriend: It’s very charming how unafraid it is to be silly

And not take itself too seriously

Me: I love the fact that when Alfred went missing, Bruce is like “IT TAKES A BUTLER TO FIND A BUTLER”

My Girlfriend: I love the fact no one in that pub objected to a ghost walking up and ordering a pint

Me: Of course they didn’t babe

It’s a bar

THEY SERVE SPIRITS

My Girlfriend: …..

Me: :D

My Girlfriend: get out of this house