#no because this is the funniest thing I saw today

[dinuxia-bhm]

The last two... I can't even.... 😂😂😂😂

This is so funny to me. Reducing them down to their simplest attributes. Turning them into symbols.

[sesamestreep]

for your consideration in the “it’s a nice problem to have but still definitely a problem” category: the people I spent most of this summer so far interviewing with for a job didn’t hire me but, in their rejection email, they told me to apply for another job they’d be posting at the end of the month and so now I’m in maybe the most awkward job application process of my life

[xoxotria]

in secret | csc

pairing: idol!choi seungcheol x model!reader

themes: secret relationship, situationship

warnings: minors dni! smut, fingering, mentions of reader having breasts and a vagina

ring. ring. ring.

you didn’t bother checking who was calling as there was only one person to call you during your schedule.

“you know you can’t keep calling me while i’m at work cheol.”

you hear a chuckle on the other end of the line as you pick up another booty call from seungcheol. you had met him through an event where you accidentally bumped into him as you were leaving your dressing room and the rest was history.

“yet you still always answer baby.”

“only because god knows how pouty you get when i don’t.” you laugh as you wave your collegues goodbye, your fittings and schedule over for the day.

you had walked over to your car still on the phone with cheol as you unlocked your car and got in to continue your call in private.

“what is it you want tonight? i’m pretty tired for sex today.”

ah, yes. you were in a friends-with-benefits type of relationship with cheol after that one incident where you both were at a after party in which both of you had alcohol in your system but still sober enough to decide to have sex in his car before he drove you home to your apartment.

“i’m not calling you for sex—well tonight i’m not.” he laughs as you hear the faint sounds of the radio in the background. “i was passing by your favorite restaurant and bought too much food for one person to eat alone so i was gonna ask you if i could come over and share a meal with you tonight.”

“woah, who are you and what have you done to the cheol i met first?” you teased him as you pulled out of the parking and into the street to head home to your apartment a couple of blocks away.

“i can be a gentleman too if i wanted to you know? rude that you think otherwise.” you could see him pouting my the way his voice sounded over the phone.

“i’m kidding baby i know you are but yes you can come over. the doors are unlocked and i’m a few minutes away.” you answer.

“how many times do i have to tell you to not leave your doors unlocked? you’ll be the death of me woman seriously.”

“and how many times do i need to tell you my apartments security is really good. anyways, i got to pass by a shop to buy some stuff for my apartment. i’ll see you later.”

“m’kay, drive safe. see you later.”

༝༚༝༚

“—and then they forced them to hug it out with hannie after they had won the prize and could go home early! it was the funniest thing i saw today.” cheol laughed from the other side of the table as the both of you ate dinner together.

“i would’ve loved to see that in person.” you laughed as you imagined it happening infront of you.

you were familiar with his group, seventeen. he had ‘forced’ you to watch gose episodes and some of their (more specifically his) fancams from previous concerts during some of your more casual meet ups. you had enjoyed it so much you actually had a slight infatuation with wonwoo much to cheol’s dismay that he wasn’t your bias.

“you’d love the boys. they are the same on and off camera, i’m super proud of them really.” he gushed as he sipped on the beer you had bought before coming home.

“i’m sure they feel the same way about you,” you reassured him as he smiled at you.

cheol was a great leader, he was kind but firm especially when it came to his brothers. he would rather pay fines and reassure his fans than keep them overthinking about things. he was a pure soul—maybe that’s why over time you had slowly fallen for him.

“thanks baby.” he mouthed to you as you both enjoyed the rest of your dinner in comfortable silence.

you watched as he finished his food the same time you had before grabbing the plastic containers and throwing them in the trash tidying up your dining room before plopping down on the couch beside you. you had been planning on setting boundaries with him as you knew your feelings would get hurt if he finds a girl he actually wants to pursue and not just fuck.

you had past flings and relationships before you had met cheol. it was never easy for you to fall in love with the way you’ve fallen for cheol—not even with your exes. you had been the secret girlfriend or lover before so why was it so hard to be that with cheol? oh right. you weren’t even his girlfriend. you’re just a one-call away fuck when he needed you to be. but you’d also be the first person he’d run to when the world around him became too much for him to handle.

“cheol?” you called out softly as you approached the couch.

“hmm?” he hummed as he looked up from the tv to look at you.

you watched his brown eyes lock on your own as the nerves in your stomach knotted. you couldn’t do it but you knew you needed to before you hurt yourself by loving a man that wasn’t even yours to love.

could you stomach not being able to hold him the way only you could when it was just the two of you? to live with the thought that he’ll settle down with another woman and that he couldn’t do it with you? to know that you were good enough to fuck but not commit to fully?

“how long will we continue like this?” you ask as you take the spot on the couch beside him.

“what do you mean sweetheart?” he asked as his brows furrowed in confusion.

“this cheol. you and me. is this all we’re going to be? a quick fuck and leave?” you could see the way the gears in his mind were then turning.

he didn’t know what to answer.

“i thought we were fine with this kind of set up? you didn’t want any commitments and i didn’t too especially in the industry we are in.”

“i was at first. things happen seungcheol—things even sometimes i can’t stop.” you argue as you watch him fidget with his hands.

“i—i can’t do it (y/n). there’s so much on the line for me—for you! i have an album release coming up. you have your runway and cover launch. if anyone finds out, the backlash would be too much for both of us to quiet down quick enough that it won’t ruin everything we’ve built.” he reasoned as he stood up from the couch.

“am i really just a good fuck to you?” the question hung in the air as you watch him try to answer you but decided not to and grabbed his keys making a beeline for the door.

“so much for being a gentleman. goodbye asshole!” you shout at him as he leaves your apartment in silence.

you broke down in tears burrying your face into your throwpillow mourning a relationship that was never there to begin with. you had shared you body with him—intimate moments of just you and him as he worshipped your body. you had not only fucked but there was that one time in which he made love to you after he had been away on tour for a month. he touched your body as if he was memorizing every mole, scar and dip of your body, kissing every patch of skin he could as he slowly thrusted in and out of you as if trying to engrave you in his brain yet he couldn’t commit to you even if he did all that.

you knew since the beggining that you were playing a dangerous game when you had met and started messing with each other in secret, so you couldn’t blame him fully for hurting and leaving you when you wanted things to get serious.

you cried for him that night, vowing never to let anyone mess with your heart the way he did with yours. you allowed yourself to mourn him and what could’ve been before drifting off to sleep.

༝༚༝༚

a month had passed since that night, everything was getting better. you had walked for one of your dream brands in their show in paris before being flown back to korea for a cover shoot. you had managed to avoid thinking about him successfully burying yourself in your work.

you had glanced at the calendar hung on the wall in your little office where the date tomorrow was encirled with red ink with his handwriting messily scribbled beneath the date.

new album release in which you’d drool over wonwoo instead of me :(

you had avoided opening twitter to stop yourself from looking at updates from seventeen hoping for a glance of him even going as far as to download weverse to catch a live of him. yet your finger hovered over his contact on your phone wanting to call and check in on him as he was always nervous whenever he had events coming up.

“no stop that. you’re not going to make yourself available for someone who thinks your just a good fuck.” you mutter to yourself as you close your phone.

your room still had traces of him you haven’t got the guts to get rid of yet. his perfume still sits on your vanity as he sometimes stays the night and always forgets to bring his perfume with him to use which resulted in him leaving his bottle of perfume in your room. his jersey from that one gose episode hangs from the chair in the corner of the room from that time you asked him to bring you home wonwoo’s but refused to do so saying it would be weird to see you wearing wonwoo’s jersey when you were fucking him. his toothbrush is still by the sink in your ensuite and his spare clothes are still on your top drawer waiting for him to come and use them—but he won’t because he’s doing better than you are and moving on from your little situationship.

his side of the bed still smells like him despite you spraying your perfume on it. he just manages to haunt you in the solitude of your own home. you’re thinking gets interrupted by a call from an unknown number on your phone.

“hello?” you greet unsure.

breathing is the only thing heard on the other line so in your better judgement you turn the call off thinking somebody just dialled the wrong number by accident.

you shrugged it off before tossing your phone to your bed and rearranging your vanity to keep your mind busy.

ping!

a notification interrupts your rearranging seeing your phone light up as a message comes through.

open the door.

“open the door?” you read out loud as you see the text. confused as the number isn’t saved you decided to check your front door as a safety measure.

you peep through the hole in your front door to see no one there but you decided to open and check. you glanced at the hall seeing no one there but to your surprise there was a paper bag on the floor. you picked it up and placed it on your kitchen counter before locking the door behind you.

you opened the bag to find an unsealed album with wonwoo’s signature on it. confused you rummage through the bag to pull out wonwoo’s jersey from that one gose episode.

“what the hell?” you asked confused as you pulled your phone out to check the number that had texted you. it wasn’t a number saved in your phone but you had an inkling to whom it was from.

you decided to call the number to confirm your suspicions. you had waited a while before the call got answered. and boy were you ready to give them a piece of your mind.

“hello?” he answers as you pace back and forth in your kitchen holding the album in your hand.

“yes, hello to you too. what the fuck is this? why would you send me an album signed by wonwoo and his jersey from that one gose episode? are you that fucked up seungcheol?” you fumed as you waited for him to say something.

“well?” you pushed as he wasn’t answering you.

“hi, uhm, it’s not seungcheol. i’m gonna introduce myself first, my name is joshua hong. i’m seungcheol’s group member and he borrowed my phone to text you. he isn’t here right now but i’ll make sure to relay the message you had for him. also, don’t worry about me spilling your secret i’m not gonna tell anyone about the two of you. you have my word for it.” you could feel the heat build up on your cheeks in embarrassment.

“i’m sorry! i thought you were seungcheol. i probably should’ve let you talk first before i went off on you.” you apologize as you hear joshua chuckle.

“don’t worry about it, i get where you’re coming from. don’t tell cheol but you were right setting boundaries to your situation with him.”

it was nice to know joshua was on the same page with you regarding the matter.

“yeah but it may have cost me his presence in my life. well, until he had contacted me again today.” you admitted as he sighed.

“i told him he should’ve used his own number to contact you but he wouldn’t listen to me. that man honestly, he can be so dumb with things like this but is so smart in other things.”

“i was debating calling him just hours ago. i know how tense he gets with your album releases but i—“

“you wanted him to reach out to you because you already told him what you wanted out of your situation. yeah, i know. he told me about you guys a week ago.”

“he did?” you asked surprised.

you really didn’t think he’d talk about you and your situation with anyone else. truthfully, you didn’t know how you felt about it. seungcheol had all the time during your no-contact period to reach out but he never did so you thought he was fully over your relationship. hearing from joshua that he was talking about it with someone else somehow gave you a thought that he might actually be thinking about you still.

“he hasn’t been able to talk to anybody else about it because of the circumstances but i could tell something was troubling him so i just waited for him to open up to me without being forced to and he did eventually. i know he misses you—he hasn’t shut up about it to me,” he sighs as you pick at your nails. “he means well, y’know? he just has a lot on his shoulders being our leader and the shield that protects everyone around him but i know deep down your good for him and i know he knows it too. just hear him out please?”

“i will, thank you joshua. congratulations on your new album by the way. i’m sure you’ll be hitting the charts and winning awards for it soon enough.” you thank him as he says his thanks and ends the call leaving you to your thoughts.

your phone sits on the counter as you gathered up the courage to text him and soon enough you pressed send.

where are you? we need to talk.

༝༚༝༚

seungcheol had arrived at your door an hour later, knocking lightly on your door you might’ve thought you hadn’t heard him if you didn’t know he was coming over. you opened the door for him not bothering to look at the peephole as he shuffled quietly past you and into your living room. he glanced around the apartment seeing it was still the same way as the day he left you so suddenly. he normally felt at home but this time he felt so tiny and out of place despite all the times he used to come over. he glanced over the familiar paper bag on your kitchen counter with the album and jersey he dropped off.

he could feel your gaze at him but he avoided making eye contact with you which he used to love doing. your eyes were his favorite thing to look at—no matter what you were doing your eyes always showed how you felt despite you not saying it verbally. he would tell you how much he loved your eyes even if he was in the middle of fucking you. he’d often tell you to keep your eyes on him despite you being so fucked out yet you’d do as he asked because you loved how he looked at you. deep down he thinks he knew that the moment he started to look for you in the people he’d interact with everyday was the moment he started seeing you more than just another person he’d call to fuck—he loved you long before he had the guts to let you know and seeing you for the first time after no contact truly did things to him.

“hey.” he spoke softly as he finally looked at you for the first time in a month.

god, you looked so beautiful even if your face held no emotions as you looked at him.

“i did all the talking last time so i think it’s fair i give you this moment to air out your thoughts before i make a decision.” you answered stiffly.

he nodded in understanding as he tried to gather his thoughts together before he opened up his mouth to speak.

“truth be told, i got overwhelmed when you were insinuating that you wanted to be more than just what our set up was but that isn’t a good enough explanation for what i was feeling at that moment.”

it was true, with everything on his plate at that moment it just got suffocating for him so he left without saying anything. it was one of the most stupid thing he had ever done in his life because he wanted nothing more to say something—anything to you.

“i had so much time to think about us over the month of no contact. i learned things about me that i wish i knew the moment you confronted me about what we were and how things were going to play out for us in the long run. i want you, (y/n). i wish i told you that night that i left. i don’t want you just physically because you are so much more to me than just a body to fuck. don’t get me wrong the sex is amazing with you and i feel like i’m on another world when i get to touch you, hold you, and just be with you.” he explains as he inched closer to you.

“but i’m scared to love you. i don’t want to ruin what we have because i’ve seen other couples in our industry get destroyed just because they love each other. i know i can handle the backlash i’d received but i’d hate to be the reason you’d be getting them too—fuck, i love you. god knows when it happened but i do and i can’t stop no matter what i do to try and supress my feelings. you weren’t and aren’t just a good fuck to me—your my entire world and i’m lucky enough to be able to orbit around you like how the moon does.” he could touch your face with how close he was to you by now. the tears falling down your cheeks and he wanted nothing more than to wipe away but he didn’t still unsure about if he could touch you that way again.

“you were the first person i felt both wildly unsure and unwaveringly certain of and i kept falling for you and the little things you’d do. i missed looking into your eyes, kissing your lips when you rambled too much, playing with your hair when we cuddle after sex, the little noises you make when you lose at games, and the way i’d wake up with you in my arms when you let me stay over. i missed you so much baby. i’m so sorry i didn’t contact you sooner.” cheol could feel his voice break as you cupped his cheeks. he leaned into your touch as he caught your scent—your vanilla scented shampoo and a hint of his own perfume mixed together. he loved it.

“you’re an asshole y’know?” she spoke through her tears as she allowed him to run his fingers through her locks. “i missed you.” she peered up at him as he smiled at her.

seungcheol had gazed into her eyes—he stared at her like she was the stars in the sky and he was basking in their glow. he missed her truly and he was going to show her how much he had missed her.

his eyes glanced down on her lips before he had closed the space between them with a kiss. the kiss was full of emotions; longing, happiness, and desire. it had been the longest since he went without being able to touch her body, the longest time being a month when he was away on tour.

he doesn't know when his obsession with you started, but one look at your bambi like eyes and he was hooked. jailed and chained to nights filled with your doe eyes brimming tears and cries of pleasure. oh the sweet sounds you’d make because of him.

"you like that? hmm?" a moan escapes your lips as he palmed your soaked sleep shorts.

“yes.” you answer breathlessly as you feel him lift you up and lock your legs around his hips. gravity causing you to settle down with your cunt pressed against his hard dick.

“oh fuck.” he groaned as he felt your wet cunt slide down his dick. “i missed having you like this baby.”

he had managed to get you both into your room as quickly as he could without bumping into your stuff with his lips on yours before setting you down in your bed. he littered your thighs with kisses as he pulled your shorts down revealing you slick cunt.

“no panties tonight, hm?” he smirked as you blushed.

“you make me go insane baby.” he removed his shirt along with his bottoms bearing all himself for you to see—not that you haven’t seen it before.

cheol dipped a finger into your core, working around the sopping wet muscle to fit in a second. he never broke eye contact with you, even as you groaned at the sudden contact as his finger grazed your bundle of nerves .

"it's okay, baby. come look at me, please? look right at me. that’s it, that’s my good girl."

as his fingers began to speed up, the tension in your thighs loosened, giving him more access to the rest of you. your walls took them in with ease as you welcome the familiar sensation of his fingers being stuffed in you, the wet sucking noises beginning to fill the room along with your moans. his breath is steady as ever, as if he's breathing you through this in an effort to slow you down from getting there before he even gets to truly have his way with you the way that he intends. he hadn’t fucked you in so long—he was going to take his sweet time.

your eyes locked into his—his favourite sight ever seeing you like that, breath hitching in the back of your throat catching the soft cries of his name that you tried to utter. pulling back, cheol removed his fingers from you with a slick pop, sticking the digits into his mouth, cleaning them of your cum.

"always so sweet," he remarked, dragging his thumb across his lip, and bringing it to yours. instinctively, you began to suck on it, slowly letting the taste of your own arousal coats your tongue. you could feel his hard-on pressing into your thigh, the heat between your legs drawing him in ever closer. it was intoxicating. in all your relationship's timespan, you were never sure of the exact moment that you had started to like him at a different light, but you knew that it lay somewhere in the hours he spent buried in between your thighs as he ate you out like he had been starving for years.

"i wanna feel you," your voice was just above a whisper. interlacing your fingers, his hand much bigger than your own, his entire body appeared massive in the small slivers of light that were in the room. your hand wrapped around the base of his swollen erection, a string of curses escaping his lips as you ran your hands up and down the length, icy fingertips teasing at his prominent veins. shifting his weight and allowed your hands to guide him, lining up perfectly with your glistening slit as his head teased at the entrance a few times, positioning itself just mere centimeters from your cunt.

"i love you so much cheol—fuck." you moaned out as your fingers dug into his back.

with eyes locked onto each other, your mouth fell open as he bottomed out. it took you no time to adjust, but the shockwaves ripped through your body just the same as they always did when you were this sensitive for him. he knew that you didn't have long from the way your walls clenched around his dick. it took a few seconds of adjustment, but he nestled himself inside, lowering his head to whisper into your ear.

"i'm gonna move now, 'kay baby?"

you nodded, arms pulling him down to your chest more as his dick dragged itself against your walls. after a few soft, shallow thrusts, your nails bit into his shoulder—the signal that he could go faster. his hips began to rock more evenly, building an even pace as the sounds of your walls began to fill the room. each kiss of his tip against your soft spot gave way to a familiar, lewd squishing noise coming from your delicate hole. your whines only urged him to go a step further, nails raking down his back so hard you were sure you had begun to draw blood. his body was marred with scars, but you knew that every scar on his back had been left there by you, an ever present reminder of the sleepless nights together you two shared.

"cheol—please, please harder," you croaked. he was right where you needed him, but not giving in. he was such an tease.

"are you sure you want more?" his demeanor shifted as lust consumed him.

"i'm not gonna hold back, you know," he started.

"i missed fucking this cunt—fuck—not gonna slow down until you're shaking."

he started ramming into you even harder, each thrust jolting your body backward and further up the surface of the mattress. he was slipping, eyes beginning to lose their light even as they were still locked onto yours. you could feel his grip around your waist getting stronger, digging into you. the veins in his arms started to bulge, he was losing himself in the euphoric washes of your body. you were shaking already, clamping down on his thick cock erratically.

"not going to stop until you're so cock-drunk on me."

every dizzying motion of his hips had your blood rushing to every part of your body. the wall in your abdomen began to shatter as you could feel your own mind slip.

"cheol—it's—i'm—baby—i'm gonna—" you could barely manage getting the words out. he placed a thumb in your mouth again, giving you some semblance of comfort all the while egging you on.

curse him and his high endurance.

"go on, cum for me. cum for your cheol baby."

you yielded to him completely, body simply going limp, giving in to euphoria as your climax overwhelmed your frame. you couldn't stop yourself from letting go completely, gushing your own translucent slick over his own lower half, tilting him over the edge.

"fuck," he moaned out as he reached his own high. "here it comes—here it fucking comes..."

he kissed you through it, groaning into your mouth with his cock throbbing inside you and  painting your insides with thick, milky white.

"Gotta—fuck—stuff my pretty baby so full."

and that he did.

as his own comedown presented itself, he collapsed onto you. you watched his chest rise and fall for a few seconds, assuring yourself that he was still all the way there. his head lifted, eyes meeting your watchful gaze. they were bright, admirable, and warm.

"i love you," cheol murmured into your hairline, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. he had pulled you to his chest to cuddle after chasing your highs. you squirmed a bit, repositioning yourself so that you could run your fingertips up and down his chest, tracing every curvature of his skin.

"i love you too," you cooed.

prying him off you for a second, you were about to stumble in the darkness toward the bathroom only to be pulled back into his chest with his own brute strength.

"i have to pee, cheol," you laughed as he caged you in his arms.

“let me join you and get you cleaned up.”

“you and i both know that won’t happen when your in there with me.” you chuckle as you melt into his arms.

“well then…round 2?” he smiled.

༝༚༝༚

you had woken up in a state of pure bliss with your body flush against cheol’s as his arm draped over your hip keeping you close to him.

it wasn’t a dream. he was here. your cheol was here.

you traced over his features as he slept soundly. you couldn’t help yourself—he looked beautiful under the light of the morning light. you could get used to this. he stirs in his sleep as you run your fingers through his blonde locks.

“g’morning baby.” he greets voice deep and raspy from sleep.

“hi handsome.” you smile as he pulls you closer to him and pecks you on your forehead.

“i could get used to this.”

“happy album release day baby.” you greet softly as you peppered his jaw with kisses.

“thank you, did you like my gift for you?” he asked as you pull away and slap his chest.

“you’re so horny. can’t we not associate everything with sex?” you tease as he raised a brow at you.

“baby i was talking about the jersey and the album i had wonwoo sign for you.” he deadpanned as you beam in excitement.

“oh my god! i forgot about that—wait right here.” you run out of the room as cheol laughs at you.

he felt so happy seeing you so happy but he wasn’t that happy seeing you walk back into your room with just wonwoo’s jersey on.

“i think this is my new favourite top. whatcha think baby?” you smile as you twirl around to show cheol wonwoo’s name on the back of the jersey instead of his.

“mm looks good.” he answers curtly brows knitting together in annoyance.

“i know right! wonwoo’s built is so much bugger than mine that this looks like a dress on me.” you played with the hem of the jersey as you hear cheol scoff in annoyance.

“take it off baby.” he grumbles as you shake your head no.

“nu-uh, it’s really comfy.”

“baby you have my exact same jersey. just wear mine.” he points towards his jersey as you shrug.

“but wonwoo’s my bias—”

“—and yet you weren’t cumming all over his dick last night were you? come on baby just wear mine.” he butts in as you raise a brow at him.

“are you jealous mr. choi?” you tease your arms on your hips.

“me? jealous of your crush on wonwoo? no way.” he answers defensively.

“you won’t mind me wearing this around then.” you sit at the edge of the bed turning you back on cheol as you scroll through your phone.

you felt him creep up behind you as the mattress dips from his weight. his hand snakes around your throat as your pulled back into his chest a smirk playing on your lips from how he’s acting.

“you’re mine baby. so i’ll give you two options: change and wear my jersey or…” he tightens his grip on your neck as he whispers in your ear. “i fuck you so hard you won’t know anyone else’s name but mine.”

“i think i’ll keep the jersey on,” you bit your lip excitedly as you hear him chuckle from behind you.

“always such a brat. well, buckle up baby. you’re in for such an eventful day.”

let’s just say you were so cock drunk from cheol’s dick that you couldn’t walk straight for a couple hours needing his assistance throughout the day.

[qcomicsy]

a list of funniest things jason todd could do:

slowly steal the parts of the batmobile and reassemble it elsewhere, then pull up next to bruce in his own second secret batmobile

become a lawyer and get joker setenced to the death penalty - bonus is that he completes college and gets a degree which bruce never did and alfred is proud beyond the gravethat one of his grandkids actually completed college

change bruces name to "free trires" in his phone contacts

call time the wrong name everyday, but it starts of sounding like a genuine mistake (tom, jim ect) and slowly gets further and further away from the original (jimothy, jeremy, dave, the dogs name)

dye his hair red, claim he was an original red head and then gaslight the family into believing bruce made him dye his hair black to look more like dick and be a replacement

come out as gay and claim to be the only gay member of the batfamily and when tim tries to say something to dispute it he just hits him with "who are you again? the computer guy or smthing?"

could also come out as poly and roll up to family dinners with more than one partner and if someone says something about it, he just says "mad cuz i got TWO more partners than you huh. lonesome bitch."

feel free to add on

LMAAAAOO THIS IS GREAT

Let's go.

Made a carbon copy of Batman and spread in strategic places on the Batcave, Tim's boat, Clock Tower, Duke's nest and Dick's house. (He almost killed them)

(One of Dick's colleagues saw it and he had to lie he was this die hard Batfanboy, his ego never recovered until today.)

Stole Tim's mug and placed on Damian's room, stole Damian's mug and placed on Tim's boat then proceeded to visit the Manor until he hard the scream of the fight he planted between them;

When he saw Bernard for the first time he said "Whoa Timmy you move on fast, this one is Terry right?";

Did a Tramp Stamp tattoo;

Slut shames Dick every chance he gets (this one is actually cannon);

Shot Dick's phone;

Every Christmas shows up with a different Outlaws member and affirms that's his partner

Dated an arrow to piss of his dad, when Bruce got over it proceeded to date a lantern instead;

Never told no one other than Dick he's actually in a stable relationship with Artemis because he refuses to swap Bruce's horrified reaction to a normal one;

Gave Bernard the shovel talk;

When he bumped with Selina after the (failed) marriage and she teased him on how he didn't gave her shit for it he just answered "No, no I get it"

Purposely brings Harley to bat reunions under the bullshit "She's my therapist" when the bats bother him, knowing his therapy with Harley only count when they're at her office;

Told every one he's Harley's adopted kid (actually Harley was the one to say that once when she was drunk and he just went along with it);

Exchanged Bernard's number to Kon's in Tim's cell phone and vice-versa;

Left his Mustache grow and showed up as Matches Malone in one of Wayne's Gala;

Lied he was actually a Titan but they kicked him out because Dick's is an asshole;

Stoled Signal's Patrol Lunch;

Stole's Spoiler's lunch;

Brought alcohol to manage going through their family gathering when he was caught he blamed on Tim;

(He thought about blaming on Dick but he knew Dick would just go along with it)

Everytime Dick, Barbara and Bruce call him he answers with "He's dead";

Introduced Tim to the Outlaws with "That's Robin they found him on the thrash"

Showed up to Barbara's job dropped a "Hi mom" as a greeting then proceeded to laugh his ass off while Barbara tried o explain to her coworkers that that tank of a man wasn't her child;

Told Dick Talia adopted him;

Told Talia Dick adopted him;

Told Damian that if Batman dies he's going to adopt him out of spite;

[beah388love]

So Cheesy…

Full Masterlist Lando Masterlist

Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!f1 driver

Summary: Lando uses the cheesiest pick up line on you…

Warnings: swearing,bad language!!! (Please tell me if I missed any!!!)

Lando was streaming with ginge and filly, playing a shooting game whilst you was in yours and landos bedroom watching tv, Lando asked if you wanted to stay in the room with him or stream with him but you didn’t feel up for it and he understood so instead you chilled on your shared bed.

You was confused when you saw your phone light up and even more confused when you saw it was Lando? Why’s he messaging you when he’s literally in the room next to you.

“I miss you” you read from your screen and you rolled your eyes with a smile you couldn’t hold back.

“It’s only been ten minutes.” You typed back

“Still too long.” He messaged back making you smile

“Well I miss you too my adorable boyfriend” you typed with a cheeky grin and hit send.

Lando smiled when he saw your message, “Oi mate! Where are you? He’s shooting me!” Ginge said through lando’s headset catching his attention.

“Oh- sorry! Follow me and we can kill them” lando said back as he grabbed his controller again.

But he still had his phone on his desk so he can see your texts.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Ginge asked laughing and Lando bit his lip trying to hide his smile but failed miserably.

“Who are you texting?” Ginge asked when he saw Lando on his phone smiling, “whoever they are they’re very distracting since you died five minutes ago” ginge joked making filly laugh.

“It’s y/n” Lando smiled as he put his phone down onto his desk again, “you should do that thing where you message her a cheesy pick up line” ginge said

“Oh yeah you should- y/n will be so confused” filly laughed and Lando grinned thinking about it.

“Alright…what pick up line though?” Lando asked as he began searching for some on the internet.

“How about this one? Are you a broom because you’ve swept me off my feet” lando said through his microphone trying to hold in his laughter but failed when he heads ginge and filly dying of laughter.

“Nah! I’ve found one you’ve gotta use!” Ginge said and repeated the pick up line to him to message.

And they all couldn’t help but nearly piss themselves laughing as he typed it to you,

“She’s going to be so confused and probably disgusted-“ filly laughed

“where is she? Usually she’s in the corner of your screen” filly asked and ginge piped up “yeah I’ve missed her today” ginge huffed making Lando chuckle

“She’s literally in our bedroom next to me, so I’m trying to make sure she can’t hear us” Lando laughed quietly.

“I don’t know how you got her mate- she’s literally the funniest girl I’ve ever met I’m not gonna lie not to mention the fact she races with you” ginge said and filly agreed “nah literally tho man- like when I first met her she was well quiet and shy but after like two weeks she became one of my best friends”

Lando smiled at their love for you, but jumped a little when his phone lit up,

-

You stared at your phone when you saw Lando texted you,

“Babe do you have a map?” You was so confused

Why does he want a map?

Why would you have a map?

“No why do you need a map?” You texted back waiting for his reply

“Because I keep getting lost in your eyes” Lando replied and you rolled your eyes at his cheesy pick up line.

-

Lando waited for your reply but it never came “she left me on read you guys” Lando shook his head laughing making ginge and filly scream and die of laughter

“She literally left me on read guys I can see the two ticks” lando said his eyes wrinkling from laughing

“That is literally perfect” filly cried through his mic.

A couple minutes later you poked your head through Lando’s door.

“Baby?” You said making him jump and take his headset off

“What was that about?” You said quietly since you didn’t want people to hear you, since you didn’t know if his cheesy pick up line was a prank or genuine.

“Babe- It was a prank” Lando laughed making you roll your eyes “it was all ginge and filly’s idea! I had nothing to do with that awful pick-up line” Lando chuckled as he put his hands up,

You stood next to him and looked at his camera and saw ginge and filly who were crying of laughter “you guys are dicks.” You said through landos microphone and they both pissed themselves even more

“Sorry! But it was too funny not to!” Ginge said and you rolled your eyes shaking your head with a smile.

You stood up and Lando rested his hand on your waist pulling you close to him only the armchair blocking you “you can stay if you want baby” he said softly “you sure?” You asked and he nodded “of course, they were talking about how much they miss you anyway and I don’t even want to mention the chat! They haven’t stopped talking about you” lando said as he showed you some of the comments.

UserA: Where’s y/nnnnn! We miss her and her jokes!

UserB: OMG- CAN WE TALK ABT THE HAND PLACEMENT?!

UserC: Omg- where did she get that matching pj set cause it’s SO CUTE

UserD: SHES BACK ONG MY FAV COUPLE EVER <3

You smiled at the comments and Lando tapped his thigh gesturing for you to sit on his lap which you did, you straddled him and nuzzled your face into his neck. This was 1000% your favourite place in the entire world.

In his arms, you could only smell him, feel him and your favourite thing was falling asleep to him talking and you giggled when you heard ginge taking the piss out of Lando or filly.

“You guys make me feel so single I’m not even gonna lie” filly joked as he looked at you two, you snuggled on lando’s lap, he arm wrapped around you making small circles on your back under your his hoodie.

“Oi! Y/n- can u hear me?” Ginge said loudly making Lando jump a bit from the noise going directly into his ear but for you it was perfect “yes I can” you laughed at lando holding his headphones away from his ear.

“If you’re ever bored or Lando is being annoying just know I’m free for you always. Always. Hit me up” ginge joked making you giggle and Lando rolled his eyes.

“I’ll keep that noted” you laughed when he winked at you through the screen making Lando shake his head laughing

“Oi! Get your own girlfriend!” Lando argued into his mic making ginge laugh loudly.

You couldn’t hide your grin at their stupidity,

You actually found his stupid,cheesy and cringe pick up line quite cute though…you’d never let him know that though or he wouldn’t stop sending them.

[covington-shenanigans]

so I'm on this app, Marco Polo, where you stay in touch with people by means of sending video messages. (there are probably other features, but I'm a free user, so I remain blissfully ignorant of them.) mostly I use it to annoy my sister. ("BITCH WHAT IF I GOT A PHALLOPLASTY AND HAD A BABY SHOWER FOR MY DICK. WE COULD HAVE ZUCCHINI FRITTERS. DICK-SHAPED PASTA. BANANAS FOSTER. DO U SEE MY VISION")

anyway, during the Hell Year of 2020, I saw my childhood best friend (let's call her Lee) was on this app. and like.

when I say "my childhood best friend", I mean the Weird Girl next door, who saw the Weird Girl that I was. I mean the girl I played with from age five until just shy of eleven, when my family moved away. I mean the girl I played with every day, for hours and hours, making up all kinds of elaborate scenarios involving our menagerie of stuffed animals. there were multiple overlapping, soap opera-style plotlines that lasted for years. there was drama. heartbreak. glory. she was the first friend I remember having. she was the first girl I ever loved, in my five-year-old way.

well, I hadn't seen Lee in at least 20 years and I was like, "holy shit! Lee!!!" so I sent her a "hey, nice to see you here, how you been" message.

again, this was late 2020.

now, I had been on T for a scant three months when I sent the first message, so I was a mere baby child, relative to the gruff manly man I am now. no beard, my voice had only started to wobble, still had tits... you get it. keep this in mind, it'll be important later.

I never heard back from her, but we're both Old, so I was like "eh, she probably forgot she installed the app" and forgot about it. we'd exchanged text messages at some point during the Hell Year, but like many people my age she doesn't really text, and I'm not calling anyone if I don't have to, so our communication had been sporadic, at best.

well. today I got a notification that she sent me a reply on Marco Polo.

I figured, well, she's replying to me 3.5 years late, but better late than never. I have ADHD and no friendship degradation mechanic, so I'm excited! yay! friend! :D

and then I remember. "...oh shit. she doesn't know I'm trans."

so. the thing is. I'm from Mississippi, which is. very very fucking conservative. I know Lee grew up Southern Baptist. I also know she's still living in the same town where we grew up and where she eventually graduated from high school and college. last I checked she was still attending the same Southern Baptist church where she grew up and her remaining living parent is still living in Lee's childhood home.

so this is either going to be Fine or it's going to be a disaster. lol.

in thinking it through, I figure either she's seen my updated profile pic, where I have the beard etc., or she hasn't. so either she's going to acknowledge this change or she isn't. okay. these are the possibilities. so I watch the message.

...the secret third option is... she seems to not realize when I sent the message? "sorry, I missed this when I was at work!" girl. what? I mean, you probably did miss it while you were at work... three and a half years ago. possibly she meant to reply to someone else and got me instead?

whatever. who knows. doesn't matter.

because I have the opportunity to do the funniest fucking thing in the world now

[honnelander]

How did Sanji and reader meet the first time? What did they think of each other at first impression 👀?

hmm interesting question! i feel like it would go a little something like this (in my main "mutual pining" series):

You had originally joined the crew back in the beginning with Luffy, Nami, and Zoro when they were going up against Buggy. Since helping them slice that clown pirate down to size, you were a straw hat.

You never particularly had a dream of your own or knew where you wanted to be, but once you met Luffy and his endless optimism and kindness?? You knew it then: you had found your people.

So when did you meet Sanji? At the same time as everyone else, at the Baratie.

After Nami slipped the host some berry to get your crew a table, you all made your way down to the main dining area. Watching Zoro struggle to slide into the booth because of his swords was practically the funniest thing you've ever seen so you couldn't help the laughter that came out of you and in turn, that made the rest of the straw-hats all join you in poking fun at Zoro and laugh your asses off (much to Zoro's chagrin).

"Fuck you guys," Zoro muttered as he gave each member of the crew their own personal death glare.

When the swordsman locked eyes with you for your own personal Zoro Death Glare, you couldn't help but laugh louder.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, everyone's favorite blonde-haired chef was busy making the infamous bluefin tuna special that led to him getting kicked out to wait tables that particular night.

As Sanji put the final touches on his off-the-menu special, wiped the edges of the plate clean, and confidently strode to the front of the line, all while bantering with Patty, he felt on top of the world.

Until Zeff crapped all over his dish and kicked him off the line.

"Fucking old man," Sanji snarled under his breath as he pushed the kitchen doors to the dining room a little more harsh than necessary.

As he walked into the dining room, slinging his suit blazer over his shoulders, he was fuming...until he heard a loud chorus of laughter come from his right. He looked up in curiosity as he buttoned his blazer in the little alcove next to the kitchen and scanned the dining room. Baratie was a more upscale, fine dining experience (especially for pirates), so for a table of guests to laugh as loud as he was hearing was certainly new to the cook. Whoever they were, they definitely must not be from around here.

His blue eyes immediately went to the table nearest to him, table eight, where he had his eyes set on the pretty blonde woman earlier in the night in hopes that she was the one laughing loudly but, no she wasn't. When he took the plate of pastries and took a few steps into the dining room, he heard the laughter towards his right and immediately looked that way with a cool gaze.

And the sight he was met with nearly took his breath away. At table ten, he saw the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen: you. There you were, sitting there at the table, laughing your ass off at the green-haired guy next to you, laughing so hard you were hitting the table with your fist, not a care in the world. It looked like everyone else at your table was laughing along with you, all except for mosshead (a stick in the mud, Sanji thought with a scoff).

Only one thought occupied his mind now, not Zeff, not the bluefin special, not being kicked out of the kitchen, just: you. You and your infectious laugh.

Everything after that happened in a blur. The two pirates at table eight both stood up enraged, yelling insults back and forth along with threats to kill each other, ripping Sanji's attention away from you and pissing him off all over again.

Could anything go right today?

Once he kicked those two pirates unconscious, he then smoothed out his suit jacket, let out a small exhale of satisfaction, and picked up the plate of pastries again. As he strode over to your table, he put on his most charming smile and placed the pastry plate right down on your table like nothing had just happened.

And to be fair? Pirates fighting did happen all the time, that was just another typical Tuesday night at the Baratie.

But meeting you? That was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and he'd do anything to hear you laugh and see your gorgeous smile light up that pretty face of yours again.

He stared right at you as he said, "Good evening, and welcome to our shitty little restaurant: the Baratie."

At his tone and choice of words, you couldn't help but look at your extremely attractive waiter in surprise and confusion and let out a surprised laugh. Didn't he work here?

He kept going though but his charming smile only widened at hearing your laugh, his smile reaching his eyes as he said, "My name is Sanji. What can I get for you?"

And in that moment, without the other person's knowledge, you were smitten with each other.

Taglist: @smolracoon25

[vanesycho]

mark headcanons who likes you and acts shy around you

✿He may act more shy and reserved around you. He usually have a loud personality but will become more quiet and often unknowingly slur his words when he speaks.

"Hey Mark, what do you like?"

"Oh, uh, I like to... you know, um... sometimes I like to read music—uh, I mean, play books! No, wait, I mean, play music and read books!"

If you giggle at his attitude, he will feel even more embarrassed and speak in a calm voice.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just a bit...You know, nervous talking to you."

✿He will often steal glances at you in the room you are in, but if you notice him he will quickly turn his head away. Sometimes if you give him a little smile when you notice him, he'll smile shyly and scratch the back of his head nervously.

You are sitting in the corner, scrolling on your phone, while the members are taking a break. Mark keeps glancing at you when he thinks no one is looking. But Jaehyun noticed his gaze. "Hey Mark, what are you looking at?" Mark quickly looks away "Huh? N-nothing! Just...The wall." Haechan grinned "Yeah, sure, the wall that's definitely named Y/N."

✿He tries harder to make you laugh. He wants you to think he's the funniest person in the group. He tries to make the atmosphere better with his jokes and gives a sigh of relief when you laugh. He loves to make you laugh and watch you laugh, usually looks at you with a stupid smile on his face.

"You’ve got that look on your face again. What are you plotting now?"

"Oh, nothing. Just, you know, thinking of something that might make you laugh."

"Alright, hit me with your best shot."

"Okay, here goes. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?"

"Hmm, I don’t know. Why?"

"Because they don’t have the guts." He winked at you, clearly proud of his joke.

"Oh my god Mark, that’s terrible!"

"I know, right? I’m terrible...ly funny."

"Sure, we’ll go with that."

✿He listens more carefully to what you say, he tries to remember things about you, important or unimportant. If it's about you, he needs to remember. For example, if you slip in something you love during a conversation, he'll keep it in mind and buy it for you the next day.

"Hey, remember that time you mentioned how much you loved sunflowers?"

"Yeah I think I said that a few weeks ago. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was just passing by a flower shop earlier today, and...I don’t know, I saw these and thought of you."

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Do you know who my daddy is?

Captain price x Fem reader (single mom)

You brought your kid to the base, she has an important homework, talk about what mom/dad does at work. The little kid is in trouble and the best she can do to get out of the problem is lie about who her daddy is.

Warning: it's not very interesting but I had a lot of fun writing it. I like to think about Price having a daughter. Anyway, as usual, grammatical and spelling errors. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

- hey my little sunshine! how was your day?

- it was fine, I have homework though.

- oh, what is it?

- I have to talk about your work, what you do and things like that.

- Oh well, I have to talk with my superior and let him know that you will go with me for a few hours just to see what we do, ok?

- Okay

That was the small conversation with your kid, she was very excited to go with you, you talked her a little bit about your comrades and your very handsome captain, she made fun of you for the way you talked about Price and sang «Mommy and the captain, sitting on a tree giving little kisses and falling in love...», of course you warned her to not say that at the base, as every kid, she thinks your job is full of action and adrenaline, because that's what she watches on tv, she certainly wasn't expecting to see you writing reports and reading files, attending some calls, just like you're doing right now.

Price was very kind to let you bring her today, he also told you to give her a small tour around the place to make it more exciting, your poor girl is dying of boredom sitting in the chair of your office, observing the ceiling and the light over your heads.

- I'm sorry darling, we will give the tour as soon as I finish this report, okay?

- I thought we would fight against bad people or that you would show me guns, this is so boring!!!!!

- Honey, making all this paperwork is also a way to fight against bad people, also very important.

- B-O-R-I-N-G...

You sighed, certainly it's not the funniest activity but you needed to finish it as soon as possible, a knocking on your door was perfect to interrupt your girl's complaints, Gaz appeared with a small bag of candies.

- I heard you brought a mini you today, I wanted to say hi.

- Oh Kyle, thanks, come in, this is my daughter (____). Honey this is my friend Kyle, be nice and say hi.

Your girl smiled at Gaz and took the small bag, she started to eat some jelly beans and talked for a few minutes with Kyle.

- (...) And now I'm here! Bored!

- I already say Sorry like a thousand times baby!!!

- I can take her to give a walk while you finish... just if you want (y/n)

- that would be great, I will finish soon I promise!

- YEAH! LET'S GO KYLE!!!

Your daughter took Kyle's hand and left the office, you laughed and continued your work.

Gaz went to the common room so your daughter could say hi to Soap, Ghost and other soldiers. needless to say that your girl was enchanted to meet Soap who played with her and gave her a small gel blaster, both made a mess with those gel bubbles, Gaz and Soap were cleaning up while Ghost and your daughter were painting one of Ghost's skull old masks, but your daughter was impatient to be with you and see the rest of the place as you promised her, she took her opportunity to escape from the three men when Soap attacked Ghost with some of the gel bubbles that were still on his blaster, Gaz was recording so, none of them noticed when your daughter left the room.

«Ah, Guys... Where's (_____)?» «Shit» «Was Johnny's fault»

They started to look for her, while your daughter was walking unsure of where she was going, she brought the blaster that Soap gave to her and started to shoot and play, her fun ended when she accidentally shot a soldier in his eye. The guy saw her alone and started to try to scare her.

- Hey kid, Did you forget the way to the daycare? who gave you that toy? This is not a place for babies.

- I'm 6, I'm not a baby!

- Aren't you? Then, maybe I have to tell you that you can go to prison for what you did?

Your daughter really believed that, she started to feel nervous, she was in serious trouble, what would she do now?. This guy kneeled down in front of your daughter and smirked.

- What will you do now? Cry with your parents?

An idea popped up quickly to her mind.

- I won't get in trouble, Do you have a clue of who my daddy is?

- Do you know who my daddy is?, oh please tell me who's your father, dwarf, I will tell him you're being a troublemaker!

He imitated your daughter's voice.

- The Captain Price is my daddy! He will beat your ass if you don't let me go!

This soldier was ready to say something until someone appeared behind you, he stood up quickly and paled, the little girl thought it was Gaz or Soap who found her and arrived just in time to save her, until she heard the soldier said «Captain!», she paled too and looked behind her, a tall man was observing the soldier with a cold look.

- Is this young man bothering you, my dear?

- He says I will go to prison just because I was playing a little and I hit him by accident.

- I'm sorry Sir, I didn't know she was your daughter...

Price didn't act surprised by the soldier's comment, he continued looking at him and put a hand on your daughter's shoulder.

- Next time I see you bothering my daughter or anyone else, you will be In serious trouble. Do you understand?

- Yes Sir.

- Fine, now leave. Let's go my little princess.

Price kneeled down a little and carried your girl over his shoulders, he talked with her about your work and maybe, your girl talked about how you feel about him, on their way they found Ghost, Soap and Gaz running through the entire base looking for her.

Finally you finished your work and went to the common area to see if your daughter was there, on the way you noticed some soldiers were whispering and talking secretly while you were passing by but you tried to not pay much attention, you arrived to the common area and indeed there she was, she fell asleep on Soap's lap, who was sitting on a sofa.

- Hey y/n you found us!

- Sorry guys I had a lot of things to do, thank you to everyone for taking care of her.

«No problem» «Soap is always here to help» «it was your fault that we lost her!»

- You what??

- Don't worry, nothing happened to her, the Captain found her!

Before you could say something, Price caught your attention and asked you to go out with him to have a small conversation. You felt a lump in your throat and stomach, you felt you were in problems, as soon as you and Price were alone you started to apologize.

- I'm so sorry John, I mean, Captain, it won't happen again I can assure you that...

- Y/n, you're not in trouble.

- wha..?

- I was going to say, you have a sweet and smart daughter and... Very... chatterbox...

- Chatterbox?

- Yes, she said she was my daughter, and then she told me about... Some feelings you have.

- Oh...

- Oh...

You instantly started to try to fix and look for excuses.

- Sir, I'm... She's just a kid, she fantasizes a lot about her father and... Also she understood all I said in a different way, I'm really sorry Captain...

- I see, well y/n, you don't need to apologize, I understand she's just a kid, and as she's just a kid, tell me, who are we to ruin her fantasies about have a father?

He smiled mischievously at you, you were speechless, what the hell was happening?.

- Ah... Excuse me, what?

-Well, she's a brilliant girl and I always wanted to have a daughter and a very attractive wife. There are a lot of reasons to make this come true.

You're still processing all that is happening right now.

- Really?

Price took your hand and squeezed it softly, without losing eye contact with you.

- For sure, by example, everybody around the base is already talking about us and our little daughter and the other reason is that those feelings your daughter talked about, are mutual.

You couldn't say anything, you were lost in thoughts, but your silly smile was enough for Price to go a little bit further.

- So, if you allow me, I would like to take you to dinner tomorrow night. What do you think?

- I would like that, but who will take care of (____)?

He laughed a little and then simply said.

- I think Soap said he's always ready to help, no? And if you don't think he will be a good babysitter... well, I think your daughter has another two uncles that can help.

That definitely made you laugh loudly, Price looked at you with tenderness still waiting for an answer, then, after a few minutes of silence you nodded, that was the story of how you and your daughter won the Captain's heart and three new uncles for your little girl, it would be the story that your daughter would talk about in every opportunity she had.

[asdfghjklmals]

BLAME GAME✩༶‧˚

GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. daddy joke. WORD COUNT: 0.9k words. TAGS: boyfriend!gojo, satoru gojo x fem!oc. established couple. adoptedkiddo! megumi makes a small appearance.

SYNOPSIS: oc gojo girlfriend tries to play a prank on satoru, but he slips up and gets himself in trouble instead... AUTHOR'S NOTE: lol i saw a funny reel of this girl pranking her boyfriend and i got inspired. also used something from the jjk short stories. 😉 REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!

“satoru gojo!” you bellowed from the bedroom.

you heard his feet promptly shuffling to your room as your white-haired boyfriend peaked his head through the bedroom door. you repeated his name again.

“satoru gojo!”

“uh? yeah? that's me...” he stared at you, concerned and confused, walking slowly to the foot of your king sized bed.

“come here.” you said with no emotion in your face, using your index finger to lure him towards you. it took all of you to not burst out laughing in his face. it was amusing to see the soft and bewildered look on his face. he was really such an attentive boyfriend who loved you silly and he was truly worried.

“why are you calling me by my—wait, you never use my government name. we go by babe, baby, sweet cheeks, honey, and sometimes daddy in this household!” he stomped his feet jokingly, trying not to laugh because he couldn’t tell if this was a dangerous situation and if he needed to tread lightly. your lips twitched as you also tried not to laugh either or your cover would be blown.

“satoru, honey.” you said more calmly, but with a hint of danger in your tone. god, you deserved an emmy award for your acting.

satoru was going through all the events that happened today in his head, trying to figure out what he did wrong along the way. “we went shopping today, i made you your morning coffee perfectly may i add, i took out the trash, megumi did the laundry, and i didn't leave my socks around the apartment… so why are you using my government name like that?!”

“what do you think it is?” you questioned him.

“i literally have no clue. you should be having a good sunday so far and i was enjoying my day until you used my full name instead of baby. i haven’t even done anything yet!” satoru defended himself, scratching the back of his head. he was out of back up plans, it was time to resort to an emergency measure. kisses. lots of kisses.

he swiftly made his way over to your side of the bed and sat down next to your side, he grinned at you and tried to sneak a kiss on your cheek but you stopped him just shy of your face. his lips hit your palm instead. “you know what you did.”

“babe, what did i do? just tell me and i promise i’ll make everything right again,” he whispered as he kissed your ear. you felt the hairs on the back of your neck raise as you shuddered. he stared at you with piercing azure eyes, his sunglasses sliding down his nose bridge.

“why are you whispering?” you started giggling.

satoru gojo was a smart and calculated man (most days), but today, he was really at a loss. “why are you laughing?” he demanded to know.

“i saw the funniest video of a girl doing this exact thing to her boyfriend and you had the same reaction as him.” you kept giggling after explaining. your bright smile made your green eyes disappear, crows feet wrinkle, and your pearly whites glisten.

as much as satoru could melt by watching you laugh, he kissed his teeth in annoyance. “i really thought you were upset with me! you never use my full name unless i’m in trouble with you. i thought my ass was going to be sleeping on the couch tonight for sure. my neck already started to hurt thinking about it.” he dramatized as he massaged the back of his neck, but it wouldn’t be satoru gojo without the theatrics.

“i had to go through all the things in my head that would’ve upset you like not taking out the garbage, leaving my socks around the house, fighting with megumi, not putting down the toilet seat after peeing cause of that one time you fell in, not separating the white and dark laundry colors, or even when the kids and i were at the maid cafe last wee—”

and that’s when satoru gojo saw his life flash before his eyes. he covered his mouth quickly with his free hand, his eyes wide open in terror. you glared into his panicked blue eyes.

“satoru gojo! you went where?! and you took megumi too?!” this time, there was no acting in your tone.

EXTRA:

“come on, megumi, pick up the damn phone. don’t forget that i pay for your phone bill.” satoru gritted through his teeth. he had just received a 20 minute lecture on how megumi and yuji didn’t need to be in a maid cafe and that he didn’t have any business being there either. it was actually an honest accident that they ended up there. the kids followed him into the maid cafe where he was scoping out an abandoned building where some curses were lingering across the street. he wanted to use the building as his afternoon lesson with his students.

“what do you want?” the younger fushiguro picked up, annoyance in his tone of voice.

“well, that’s not a polite way of answering the phone that your guardian pays the cell phone bill for.” satoru quipped.

“it’s always something with you, gojo-sensei,” megumi sighed. 10 years of putting up with satoru gojo did that to people. megumi wondered how you dealt with him. you deserved a nobel peace prize in his eyes.

“well, (y/n) found out about the maid cafe,”

“and you’re in trouble with the boss. cool, i’ll see you at home la—”

“no, no. not just me, we are in trouble.”

“it was your stupid idea to go there! who the hell scopes out an abandoned building at a freakin’ maid cafe?” megumi couldn’t believe that he was being dragged into a punishment too. last time he got in trouble, you took away his kindle that you and satoru had gotten him for christmas last year.

the white haired sorcerer pulled a picture out from his wallet. it was a picture of megumi and yuji from the maid cafe. satoru cunningly suggested a scapegoat, “how do we somehow put the blame on yuji?”

© 2023 ASDFGHJKLMALS — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK.

DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG

[the-promise-has-been-made]

Like with all Mike Flanagan shows, I have to sit and stew on The Fall of the House of Usher for a bit to let it fully settle, and then I'll probably have to rewatch it to get the full picture.

But what I can say now after the first watch has sat with me for 2 days is that compared to Hill House which dealt with grief, Bly Manor which dealt with love, and Midnight Mass which dealt with faith, House of Usher for me dealt with consequences. Madeline and Roderick were offered the deal that they could basically do whatever the heck they wanted, and all the consequences of their horrible actions would not be suffered by them. Which is essentially what capitalist super-rich experience all the time - and we, the ordinary people, suffer the consequences. It's funny that they thought it worked like that, but I guess they saw their father who suffered no consequences for abuse and for mistreating their mother whom he had ann affair with (if it even was that, and not rape) - but he did suffer consequences, he was strangeled to death by a dead woman. And Griswold, who seemingly suffered no consequences for his fraud and the many crimes of his company, except he did - he was literally cask of Amontillado'ed which is honestly the funniest thing! But for the Ushers, the consequences were suffered not just by the anonymous masses, not just by the thousands upon thousands that suffered and died because of their actions (powerfully depicted by the rain of bodies Verna showed Roderick in their meeting in his tower) and not by Madeline nd Roderick themselves, but very directly, very brutally, by their own children - who all in the span of a few days were driven insane and horrifically killed. They were offered this deal, and while Madeline had no children and made sure afterwards that she never would, Roderick already had two children by that point. He signed that deal not for some hypothetical children he might have, but for Frederick and Tammerlane who were already alive then, and for his 4 as of yet unborn children! They barely hesitated. The Ushers TOOK that choice away from their children, they doomed these children before they were even born. And they doomed even their grandchild before she was born. If that doesn't show the crippling consequences of actions we take today, I don't know what does. Every decision the rich and powerful make today has devastatign consequences for generations to come - not hypothetical, but very real and very dire consequences. But these people don't care about that, because it's not consequences they suffer NOW, so it's not their problem. The Ushers are charicaturized representations of that mindset, their children representations of the generations of people fucked over by their decisions. That's why I am torn between feeling glee at the bizarre demise each of the Usher children met (cause let's face it, they were all assholes and messed up) and at the same time feel immense pity for them (because the fact that they were assholes and messed up was almost not their fault but a product of growing up under the trauma Roderick and Madeleine suffered when they were children, and in a mindset where they genuinely believed being richer than God made them immune to cosequence, and because their fate had been decided for them without their knowledge).

But also, Verna gave EACH of these kids an option. They were all going to die, sure, but they were given the choice to do the right thing. Prospero was offered the chance to end his orgy and his filming of incriminating material but he chose to continue. Camille was offered the chance to turn around and go home and instead die peacefully in her sleep. Napoleon was offered the chance not to lie to his boyfriend and bring a fake 'cat' home, and instead go home, sober up, get his shit together, be honest about his fuck-ups. But he didn't. Victorine was offered the chance to say 'no, this treatment is not ready for human testing' but instead she deceived what she believed to be an innocent, desperate woman into essentially signing away her life. Tammerlane could have stopped her jealousy, her envy, and instead reach out to her husband, actually communicate, actually appreciate him, but she didn't. And Frederick, well, Verna spelled it out for him, didn't she? He had to bring her home, he had to bring out the pliers. He CHOSE to abuse and brutalize and mutilate his wife when she was completely defenseless, helpless, and innocent - yes she had gone to the orgy because she felt unappreciated, unseen, and nothing actually happened, she didn't cheat, her only 'crime' was chosing to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He chose to be a monster to her and to their child. All of them could have stopped, could have chosen to reflect on their actions and be better, do BETTER. Instead, they doubled down on their horrific behaviour, and sealed their own fate. All except Lenore, who until the very end chose to be good, chose to be kind, chose to see the best in people. That's why she was the only one to whom Verna appeared with kindness, giving her the certainty that her life mattered, that her sacrifice would save thousands, that her mother would do incredibly good in her name in the future, and she did not die with horror and suffering, she died peaceful, quick, quiet, like Verna had offered all the others. Verna was not so much a demon as she was the personification of "actions, meet consequences".

TLDR: The Fall of the House of Usher is the hardcore version of 'play stupid games, win stupid prizes' and will for me be part of the 'rich people actually suffer consequences for their shitty actions' cinematic universe.

[livwritesstuff]

Saw this on Pinterest and couldn't help but think of my steddie!dads verse.

Like, Robin definitely found the bumper sticker somewhere and gifted it to Eddie, who thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen in his life, because two out of his three daughters are assholes at the best of times, and sometimes they can even manage three for three.

Steve thought it was pretty funny too, but he didn't think it was something Eddie would actually put on his car -- sort of like the "World's Sluttiest Dad" shirt Robin got Steve as a joke-birthday gift a few years back which he doesn't actually wear out and about, obviously.

Lo and behold, Steve pulls into the garage one day to see the bumper sticker displayed proudly on the rear windshield of Eddie's car, the one he drives to their daughters' elementary school at least twice a week.

Steve: Tell me you waited until after you picked up our children from school today to put that on your car.

Eddie: I could tell you that.

Eddie: If you're cool with me lying about it.

[ciwzing]

༉ 𝗚𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗽 𝗕𝗼𝘆𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀

🎀 incld: satoru, sukuna, choso, & geto

🎀 gn! reader

🎀 ‟there's no better quality time than gossiping with your boyfriend ”

𝗚𝗼𝗷𝗼 𝗦𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘂

biggest gossiper

literally has a time of your guys day specifically for where you guys just sit on your guys bed cozy, wrapped in each other's arms to talk shit or spill some tea about other people.

has a code name on everyone he and you guys don't like

“ain't that dora over there”

“yeah that's them, that wack ass haircut really stands out from the crowd"

will always make an eye contact with you whenever you guys hear or see something ridiculous, trying to hide his snickers with a cough

“baby, did i see that correctly”

“definitely, saw that shit clear as day”

AND you know you're gonna hear about it once you guys are home.

if he ever enter your home with a loud thud and a call of your name always followed with a giddy giggle YK THAT HE BOUTTA SPIT SOME SHIT🤭

“Baby!! you never guessed what just happened!”

ALWAYS gives you the best reaction to your gossip, never failing to let out the most exaggerated gasp ever

prob has those senses if you have gossip to spill, if Spiderman has spider sense, he has a bitch’s sense and it never fails him.

𝗞𝗮𝗺𝗼 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗼

didn't really grasp how gossiping works the first time tbh ╥﹏╥

“didn't we hate this person? why did you just talk to them then?”

baby it's called playing nice

type of bf that if you hate someone, he gotta be their hater too

GIVES THE MOST FUNNIEST YET CUTEST REACTION EVER

“Baby guess what, remember the girl that I told you about yesterday that's been soft launching her man?”

“Yeah?”

“Her man is actually her COUSIN!”

“∑(; °Д°)”

every time you keep dropping bomb after bomb his expression just became more concerning

“oh my god, baby are they okay? (;° ロ°)”

“its fine, we hate this person”

“oh, fuck them then”

“yeah fuck them!”

(｀∀´) (⋋‿⋌ )

learns some of the most juiciest gossips BUT ALWAYS FAILS TO ASK FOR DETAILS

“That one clingy couple in our class just broke up suddenly, and they look they hated each other's guts”

“WHAT, WHY?!”

“I don't know I never asked”

𝗦𝘂𝗸𝘂𝗻𝗮 𝗥𝘆𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻

you don't how he does it, but whenever you have some anger or tea to spill, he's ready every fucking time.

“who we gonna hate today, pretty?”

LOVES gossiping, not because he cares about other people, but because he loves talking shit about them

has the most creative insults tbh

you sometimes have to pause to take in what he had just said

doesn't remember all the ppl you shit talk about, you have to remind him with the stupid names he calls them

“Remember the guy that I told you about last week?”

“Baby, you have to be more specific about that”

“Omfg, the one you compared with megamind!”

“oh that motherfucker, yeah i remember him, all that forehead and can't think for shit, that's crazy”

probably the type of person that purposely points at the person you just talked about to tease you.

𝗚𝗲𝘁𝗼 𝗦𝘂𝗴𝘂𝗿𝘂

a secret gossiper tbh

ALWAYS has something interesting going on with his gossips, you could never guess just what shit he's about to say next

drops the most gasping bombshell like it's your random Tuesday

“oh yeah, one of our professors just got fired since he allegedly had an affair with one of his students”

the type of person that's quiet but he knows all of the shits about so many people, like How'd you get this information sir? (°△°|||)

ppl trust him too much that they spill so many things in front of this man, but they don't know you're the first person he goes running back to talk about it.

“they said I can't tell this to anyone…but you know that girl-”

gives the biggest stank eye when the person y'all hate walks past him AND HE AIN'T TRYNNA HIDE IT

Can and will shit talk about the person right in front their fcking face.

"Heard you talking shit about me?"

"Want me to tell you again? you might missed some details"

likes and reblogs are appreciated<33

[maryleclerc]

𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 — charles leclerc

pairing: prince!charles leclerc x reader ; prince!charles leclerc x princess!reader ; prince!dad!charles leclerc x princess!mom!reader

summary: in which the prince charles and princess y/n of monte carlo attend charles younger sister, princess marias leclerc of la condamine and prince carlos sainz of spain, also spend their 6th years anniversary together at berlin

warning: english is not my native language, use google translate, i don’t own any of these images. this is just an imagination, do not take it too serious! thank you

read my royal series here

y/n_leclerc

Liked by carlosofspain, mariasoflacondamine and 461,833,018

y/n_leclerc A big big congratulation to my bestfriend, @mariasoflacondamine and her husband @carlosofspain. I’m so happy for you, and wish you the best!! Love you two

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marias_la.condamine Thank you bb, it’s so great that you and Charles are able to join us on our happy day

⤷ y/n_leclerc Of course, how can we miss such an special day of my bestie!! We would be regret if we unable to join you today!!

hwangjuu Congratulation to you @mariasoflacondamine @carlosofspain

charles_leclerc

Liked by y/n_leclerc, carlosofspain and others

charles_leclerc Congratulation to my beautiful sister and my best mate!

tag: @mariasoflacondamine @carlosofspain

Limited comments

mariasof.lacondamine Thank to you my silly brother!!

carlosofspain I always thought i would get married before you

⤷ charles_leclerc And i cannot believe that you’re now my little sister husband :)) unbelievable. Just kiddingggg

juno_ Wait, Marias is Prince Charles sister? Which mean she’s a royal too??

⤷ khloeegoong Her name is Marias Leclerc, she is a Leclerc

mariasof.lacondamine

Liked by charles_leclerc, y/n_leclerc and others

mariasof.lacondamine How i spend my day with these two cutes, funniest person on this planet. Always whisper “I love you aunt Maria” “We love you” “You’re my favorite aunt”

Jealous? @charles_leclerc @y/n_leclerc

View all comments

arthur_leclerc Shut up and stop lying, their favorite person defenitly me

⤷ mariasof.lacondamine Well too bad cause i’m not lying, its what they told me

⤷ arthur_leclerc I won’t believe you if there are no proof

⤷ y/n_leclerc Christian and Louisa love their aunt and uncle very much so stop fight please 😂

⤷ charles_leclerc Unbelievable 😂😂

“Y/n Y/l/n Leclerc dear,

First, I wanna say thank you for gave birth to 2 beautiful babies, Christian Arthur and Louisa Bianchi.

Secondly, this happiness is indescribable, the feeling of happiness in my heart when you’re by my side, from the moment I saw you I felt I consider myself very lucky to have a friend like you, more importantly, it's not just friendship, we've been together for a long time, then we got married and now we're built our little family together, the mother of your children. I know marrying a Prince of Monte Carlo and become Princess of Monte Carlo never an easy things for you but you never complained anything, which makes me feel like I am the luckiest prince in this world to have someone like you to share my life with.

I LOVE YOU! ❤️

Happy our 6th years wedding anniversary and still counting…”

y/n_leclerc

Liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and others

y/n_leclerc To my dear husband,

I don't know how to begin.

Time goes by so so fast, in the blink of an eye we have been married for 6 years and have 2 beautiful children together, what could be happier than having an extremely caring husband who always be by my side, who always taught me what to do when I first become a part of his royal family, not in the father taught his kids way,

But in the way that he always reminded me to be more careful in everything I do, or every move i made because he know that everyone are watching their new Princess of Monte Carlo who will soon produce future heir for Monte Carlo.

I can't help but mention the moment when I gave birth to Christian and the moment he held Christian in his arm, and whispered to Christian “I love you so much, but I love your maman more… and did you know that? that your mother did a great job today, she deserves the praise, kisses anf the love from me and you, Christian. So you have to be very obedient to maman, deal?.” That made me fall in love with Charles even more, and when I gave birth to Louisa, but this time when he whispered something in her ear but I can't hear it very clear what he is whispering, but I'm sure of one thing he always tells his children to be obedient.

Charles is a family man, because whenever I need him or our children need him, he puts all his work aside because for Charles, family are always his first priority.

I just hope we stay like this forever, I just hope time can slow down so that you and I can both spend time together with our kids and enjoy our time together.

Je t'aime @charles_leclerc

Happy 6th years wedding anniversary! ❤️✨

View all comments

charles_leclerc Thank you for come into my life, and thank you for always being so patient with me, I know i’m kinda annoying sometime

⤷ y/n_leclerc No you’re not baby

kwontaeik So fucking sweet 😩

salvatore__ SAVE ME FROM THESE ROMANCETIC NON-FICTION

lovelana Their relationship should be written into a novel or something

⤷ salhwasooh_ Definitly, this literally came out of an romance novel

“marie: so so sorry for taking so long to post this!! i know this chap might be not the best chap but i’ll post more often after this sem end!”

[b4tasquad]

Can I ask for a filly imagine?? Something like the guys finding out that he's seeing soneone?

MESMERISED: YUNG FILLY

Authors note: no you’re not mistaken… b4tasquad actually posted for someone that isn’t Niko😭 love love filly, so here’s this🫶

Warnings: none!

…

“What the fuck is up with you, man?” Filly, who had been previously giggling, looks up from his phone. For the past hour or so he had completely ignored all of his friends, instead texting you as the two of you made it a habit to send the funniest videos you could find. “You’re grinning like a mad man.”

Chunkz is not impressed as they’re currently loosing the match which they had been paired against Aj and Sharky for. He had noticed his best friend’s weird behaviour weeks ago. It was when he’d arrive to their meet-ups with his thoughts elsewhere, eyes shining and the weirdest explanations to back up his lateness.

“Don’t tell me it’s that gyal you won’t tell me about” Aj pauses the game, too invested in the topic to continue playing. Sharky himself is turned around to get the tea himself. At Filly’s silence, Chunkz rolls his eyes. “ Why won’t you show me her? You make it seem like she’s facially deformed with the way you’re hiding her.”

“You’re so fucking funny.” Filly counters, not being cool with his brother talking about his girl like that. Sure, Chunkz didn’t know you, curtesy of the agreement between you and Filly to keep it hidden, but he still didn’t appreciate what he was insinuating. To Filly, you were genuinely the most beautiful girl ever.

“You know I’m joking, bruva.” Chunkz laughs, and it’s impossible to stay mad at him.

“And besides, if she got you this hooked, she must be beautiful.” Sharky, the most respectful person says.

“Or mystery girl must be providing him the most pussy- whipping ride ever.” Aj’s quick to move off of the couch, protecting himself as Filly’s whole body comes at him. “I’m joking! I’m joking!”

The Colombian relaxes against the couch again, a smile resting on his face as he gets a new message from you. To this day, 6 months into your relationship, he had managed to keep you somehow hidden, but now he just couldn’t.

“She’s just so perfect you know?” He breaths out. “Every thing she does or says I repeat in my mind and play it in slow motion, because I’m just so…”

“Mesmerised?” Chunkz tries and his friend nods.

“Exactly!” Chunkz, Aj and sharky were literally known for violating at all times, but right now as they saw the absolute love on their friend’s face, they couldn’t help but admire it. “This isn’t just simping. I genuinely believe that she’s the only one for me. I get sick thinking about other girls, let alone even touching them-“

“Okay now.” His best friend stops him with a laugh. “Mandem’s getting a little too carried away.”

“Sounding like he’s putting a ring on it today.”

Filly pushes his friend, as the thought of marrying you gets in his head. “Shut up Aj. I’ve had enough of you.”

A couple hours later, Filly is sat against the couch, bowl of his favourite Colombian dish in hand. You were positioned between his legs, eyes moving from the tv in front of you to your food once in a while. Waking up today, you were feeling extra appreciative of your boyfriend and everything he did for you. He always went above and beyond to make sure the smile on your face never faltered and while it was just casual acts of giving for him. You looked at it entirely different.

As a person who had never experienced this level of kindness in a relationship, there weren’t enough words to describe the gratitude you felt towards him. In an attempt to try and show some of it, you had recreated a dish from his home country you knew he loved. It took you hours, a change of clothing and three different recipes, but in the end you had done it.

Filly noticed the second he walked into your home, the smell being a clear giveaway. Running into the kitchen, very childlike, he took a hold of your jaw to pepper kisses all over your face. You were sure your makeup would be ruined, but you didn’t mind, and it didn’t seem like he cared about having a little product on him either. He thanked you with the most genuine smile you had ever seen on a person, muttering Spanish words as he hugged you. With your little Spanish ability, you could faintly translate them to affectionate names he had called you in the past.

That brings you to now, the two of you cuddled up against each other as you watched a Netflix series you had been begging him to watch with you for months. As a particular scene that always managed to rile you up played, you could hear the faint gasp from your boyfriend as he puts down your food.

“Did that just happen?”

You nod as you copy his actions of putting away the food. There wasn’t anything more you hated than that scene as you could practically feel the betrayal through the screen.

Filly just looks baffled at the screen. “Wait why would she set her friend up? Lying to her like that.”

“Because she’s a bitch?” Turning around, you instead opt to lay with your chest on his. Taking a hold of his jaw, you slowly start to caress it. “Not everyone’s such a loyal friend like you, Felipé.”

He laughs at the use of his actual name, and not the username he had became accustomed to. “The govy? Wow you must really mean it.”

“I do” you hum, connecting your lips with his. With the awkward position you’re laid in, filly instead pulled both your legs on either side of his body, making you sit on him properly. As he trails his kisses from your mouth and to your neck, you giggle. “You basically tell them everything.”

Your words had no intention behind them, but filly stops and pulls away from you as he remembers what he had told them just hours ago. He wasn’t too sure how you would feel if you knew, but there was no doubt that telling you was better than lying about it. So with a a painful sigh, he rubs at his temple.

“Listen.” He drags out, making it sound much worse than it actually is.

Seeing the look of utter terror on your face, filly shakes his head quickly. “No, no. It’s nothing like that.” The Colombian reassures you, knowing you were thinking to deep into it. You cross your arms, still sat on top of him, as you wait for his words. “I might’ve let it slip that you and I-”

“No”

“Yeah.” He confirms, scratching the back of his neck.

“What happened?” You’re quick to ask, just wanting to know who, and why he had told his friends about the two of you when you had agreed to keep it to yourself for a while.

“I was hanging out with the guys and you and I were texting. Long story short Chunkz was like ‘I know you’ve got a gyal, you’re all in love, who is she’ and I just couldn’t hold it in ya’know? I just love you so much and-”

You cut his words of with a firm kiss, sensing how nervous he was becoming. Filly kisses you back with the same intensity, only managing to relax under your comforting touch. Once the two of you pull away, he’s quick to question you.

“Are you mad?”

You just smiled, finding it cute that he was this worried. Figuring it was from a place of care, you shook your head. “How could I be mad at you?”

Filly huffs a breath of air in happiness, a little grin on his face, and it’s probably the best thing you’ve ever witnessed.

…

Tag list:

@p3drii , @jiusz , @n1kodl , @shuuuuush , @w1shes43 , @alltoowill0w, @slutforpablogavi

(Check pinned to be added!)

[trentslfcc]

Only you🤍 - Aurélien Tchouaméni

Summary: You and Aurelien have been talking for a while and feelings have developed between you two. One day, you feel a bit jealous but he's quick to reassure you and ask you the question you've been waiting for.

Warnings: None

-

Spending your days with him was like laying on the softest bed, it filled you with comfort. The more you were around him the more you were convinced that he liked you back, which he had told you. He was gentle with you and always had to make sure you were okay. He would send you 'good morning' texts and when it came to night time, you more often then not, fell asleep on the phone together. Aurelien was someone who gave you butterflies when ever he looked at you and showed his tender side. He would invite you to games, he didn't go to a lot of parties but when he did, he would invite you too. Going on dates with him brought you joy aswell because you could talk to him about whatever. He was really perfect. The only thing that bothered you was the fact that he hadn't made you his girlfriend. Yes, he was a busy man but he always made time for you and it was clear that you guys were couple material. Maybe he would ask you soon.

Today, he had taken you on a shopping spree because he adored buying things for you. You made sure to look extra cute for him as always, getting ready longer than you had intended to. He didn't mind though, giving you your time and waiting for you patiently. Another reason you took your time was because he had told you that he was taking you on a date after. Walking around the expensive shops made you feel like you were slightly out of place. It's not as if you didn't like when he would spend money on you, it's that you didn't want him to spending too much money, especially considering that you guys weren't even in a relationship. You had often told him that he didn't have to buy you anything but he didn't listen. You had finally reached the clothing store he wanted to take you too because he had seen you checking out some dresses in there. There was also a men's section which he wanted to look at as the clothes there were amazing and brilliantly made.

"Oh, this is cute." You spoke as a gorgeous baby pink dress caught your eye. The lace around it added to it's appearance, bringing out the main colour, your favourite.

"You want it?" He asked gently, wanting to buy it for you. He thought it would look unreal on you, but you would look good in anything.

"I would have to try it on first Aure." You chuckled a little at his determination. He was so sweet. You wanted to buy something for him too but you couldn't think of anything. "I like this one aswell." Seeing a green dress this time.

You decided you were going to try on both of the dresses, making your way to the fitting rooms so that you could do so. The pink dress fit you very well whilst the green one was a bit too big and they didn't have your actual size. Actually seeing the dress on yourself made you realise that you weren't too fond of the cut and so you decided to stick with the pink dress about ten minutes later. Aurelien had told you that he was going to be in the men's section so you immediately went there after kindly giving the worker the green dress back, thanking them after. As you approached the section, you saw him and talking to another woman. She was giggling way too much for your liking. Deciding to observe the conversation before interrupting, you could see that he wasn't showing her any interest back, only being nice to her. You wanted to go and drag him away, but you were a classy woman and would act like it. What frustrated you even more was the fact that even though he seemed to not enjoy the conversation, he hadn't walked away, being kind to her. Maybe you were just overthinking it and it really wasn't that deep. The woman continued to chuckle and chuckle acting as if Aurelien was the funniest man in the whole wide world. He wasn't even smiling but once he saw you, he did. He found it adorable how hard you were pretending not to be bothered by what was going on. Knowing that you liked him was making this whole thing funnier. You eventually came over and wrapped your arms around him in a territorial embrace as the woman's annoyed facial expression came out. He knew why you were doing it and went along with it, calling you 'babe' so that she would walk away, which she did after a minute.

"Look at you being all jealous." He began teasing you when you two were finally alone. He could see how shy you were getting through your actions and defensiveness.

"I wasn't jealous." You shot back, knowing damn well that was a lie. You were never going to admit it to him because you knew it would boost his ego. He was an incredibly kind person but you weren't going to let him get the satisfaction.

"Yeah, sure." He let out a soft little chuckle. It made him feel kind of relieved in a way that you were jealous because he could see that you really liked him. You had told him, of course, but it was cute to see you like this. "Come on, let me buy you your dress."

You followed him to the till where he also brought himself a cap and a pair of sunglasses along with your dress. The store gathered the attention of mostly rich people and so it wasn't shocking that everything was so expensive. It was so generous of him to want to spend money on you even if he didn't have to. It showed how much he wanted you. You were nothing more than delighted and grateful for everything he had done for you. When the items had been purchased, you two left the store, enjoying each other's presence. He meant so much to you and you meant so much to him. He was the cutest ever.

"Thank you for the dress." You began in a soft tone. The way he would spoil you was more than any man had ever done for you.

"You know you're the only girl I want?" Aurelien spoke, placing his arm around you in a gentle manner. Butterflies erupted in you stomach immediately. Why was he so sexy?

"And you're the only boy I want." You voiced back, slightly looking up at him. He couldn't help but let out an adorable smile as you confirmed what he wanted to hear.

"Good." When he moved his arm off of you and back to his side, you decided to take his hand in yours which he let you do. It had become something you would normally do when you hung out together. "You love holding my hand, don't you?" He continued grinning.

"Yeah, what about it?" You answered him truthfully but jokingly. You knew he liked it too so you were going to keep doing it.

"Nothing. It's cute." He chuckled a little at your comment, looking down at you with those pearly brown eyes.

"That's what I thought." He continued giggling hearing you teasing him. He found everything you did alluring and enchanting. "You probably thought that worker was cute aswell."

"I think it's cute that you were jealous." He was such a gorgeous man and so it was difficult not to blush at every thing he said.

"I wasn't jealous Aure." You stated again which he wasn't going to believe at all. You knew how he acted with you was genuine and that he wouldn't do anything to hurt you. He was an honest man.

"That's why you were annoyed? And that's why you came and hugged me in front of her?" He chuckled as he could see right through you, no matter how many times you denied it.

"Shut up." You retorted, causing him to laugh even more. That man was head over heels for you and you were head over heels for him.

"Well, as I said before, you're the only woman I want. I can promise you that." He reassured you again. He was being very serious. "Most of the girls that look at me and whatever, they only want my money and my fame. You're genuine and my feelings for you are strong. You're so beautiful." You blushed and beamed from ear to ear.

During the rest of the afternoon, you guys just hung out and went to visit other stores, looking at watches, books and interesting objects. You even went to visit a museum, appreciating each other and being content with your feelings. It was a beautiful day with the sun radiating it's happiness in the sky. This was the perfect day for you. When you both got hungry, he took you to a restaurant you had never heard of before. It was going to be something new. He didn't even ask you where you wanted to eat because he knew that you wouldn't be able to answer. Unbeknownst to you, he had planned out the entire day. You arrived at the restaurant around 7pm with. The sun had gone away and the evening was apparent. You both were immediately taken to your table as it was empty. You could tell by the designs that it was a very expensive place. A few minutes later, you ordered your drinks and started talking about life in general. He listened to you so attentively, paying attention to every word. When he would speak you would do the same. You were given your starters shortly after, which were delicious, you could've just eaten that for the rest of your life. Aurelien really knew how to pick a restaurant. Eventually you were given your main meal which you were stunned by. It was amazingly cooked and tasted better than anything you had ever tasted before, except your mother's food because who didn't love their mothers cooking? Everything was flawless. He loved that you were so comfortable around him and vice versa. It highlighted how well you two went together. After about thirty minutes, you had finished eating but wished you hadn't. He proposed the idea of dessert which you obviously were not going to refuse. Before you could order however, the waiter brought a big beautiful bouquet of pink roses. It was clear that Aurelien had organised this whole thing.

"Thank you so much Aure." You would've thought your cheeks were as pink as those rose and to be honest, it was a far fetched comparison, covering your face with the hand that wasn't holding them.

"My pleasure beautiful. You deserve them." He returned to you. Why was he such a gentleman? This was like the sixth time you had asked that question to yourself just today.

You guys ordered your desserts and ate in complete peace. It was brilliant, just like the rest of the food you had been served with this evening. There was no way that you weren't going to be returning to this restaurant again. You were blown away but what Aurelien had done and how good the service was. You didn't want to leave the restaurant but when you had finished and after he had paid, it was time to return back to your hotel. The drive back was extraordinary as you looked at view and attractions of the city. You hadn't been around these parts often, it was moments like these that emphasised that feelings you had for him. As soon as you arrived back at your hotel, you rushed to your room, feeling exhausted from the day you had, though you weren't going to get much sleep. Walking in, you instantly gasped by what you saw as Aurelien smiled behind you. Ballons hung, reading out 'will you be my girlfriend?', some were heart shaped and the others were grey and baby pink. He was the best ever. He was so thoughtful and very sweet. Candles had been set up on the floor as a path towards the bed which you were definitely going to use and a gift sat atop it, with pink flowers around it.

"Yess Aurelien." You squealed, hugging him immensely before he gently pulled your face down to peck your lips. Your dream man was now your boyfriend. "Thank you so much."

"Anything for my girl." He kissed you again, sending sparks flying through the roof. This was better than you could have imagined.

The rest of the night you spent together, making out on your hotel bed and eventually doing the deed. He deserved some. He was your boyfriend and you couldn't ask for a better one. You were going to be the best girlfriend you could be to him, knowing that he would treat you right and take care of you always.

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I hope you guys enjoyed🤍 I hope the language wasn't to repetitive, I was in a rush x

Another Trent one coming soon🤍