#no because like. huh. several things are just put out there but then not elaborated on or even mentioned elsewhere

[whoredmode]

why do the radio ads in srtt provide more worldbuilding and lore than anything else in the actual game

[locution-youngster-enjoyer]

Hey guys another one of these things (I’m insane I’m crazy)

Further explanation under the cut:

(Tw: suggestive)

Neither of them are exactly out to the public. Beau actively goes out of his way to hide any sort of relationship he may have ever had with any men. Seymour’s situation is funnier because he’s not hiding it like Beau is, he just never brings it up. Like he’ll be telling a story and the conversation would basically go:

“Bla bla- and this guy I hooked up with this one time-“

“Wait you’re gay??”

“Huh? Not really, anyway-“

He then never elaborates.

Seymour is the horniest mf imaginable (not really, but he’s got a high libido). Beau is not against it, but he’s nowhere near Seymour’s freakiness (I hate how I said that)

Seymour is way more touchy then Beau is. In public, they’ll hold hands at most usually, but it depends.

They’ve both got issues that they haven’t professionally worked out- I’ve explained in my AU that the state of their relationship is messy. They go from friends to lovers to enemies back to lovers. Once they settled back down together, they both considering getting therapy.

Before they get back together, it’s important to know they never got over initially breaking up. While they both have had their moments of trying to move on, the whole time they felt horrible because deep down they were still in love with each other.

They are doomed by MY narrative. Objectively, I think I put Seymour through more shit-

I should clarify: they don’t really spoon. They cling to each other

So the creator of this chart explained that the weapon vs wielder thing is basically who’s the protector and who’s the protected. While they’ve gotten better at balancing out who is who, Seymour is way more defensive in general, while Beau isn’t.

Beau sleeps in robes in the warmer months and silky long sleeved pajamas in the winter. Seymour for a while didn’t bother with pajamas of any kind and usually just sleeps in his underwear or with his clothes still on (Beau bought him new clothes to sleep in)

Seymour acts more jealous of Beau going off to do things without him, but it’s mostly just the separation anxiety from how long they’ve been apart from each other.

They’ve both got some nice rizz (I hate how I said this as well)

They’re both in weird places in society and are used to talking to different kinds of people, but Beau is generally more awkward when it comes to small talk.

What keeps them together?:

In terms of canon things that keep them together, there’s nothing but implications because they’ve got one interaction but it is full of such drama. Also I’ve written an entire backstory for them because I’m crazy about these two.

What is keeping them/kept them apart?:

I’ve explained their whole backstory in another post but I’ll explain their breakup part again here.

Basically, Seymour grew up much poorer, while Beau’s family were filthy rich. They had kept their initial relationship a secret from most people, but since they wanted to get married, Seymour thought it was best if they told their families, which Beau was hesitant about. When they told Beau’s parents, they basically insulted Seymour for being poor. This pissed Seymour off, not because of what the parents said, but because Beau refused to speak up against them and defend them, which made Seymour call the wedding off on the spot.

Afterwards, Seymour ran away from home, and since no one knew where he went, Beau was completely crushed and assumed he had died. After several years, they both picked up acting jobs, and while they never really interacted, they were both made painfully aware of each others existences as they both grew in popularity. While Beau never said anything, he was kinda upset to hear that Seymour resorted to crime.

So in short: the fact they could never really talk to each other normally and settle their problems is what kept them apart for so long.

Poorly describe their meetcute (how they met):

Consenting to be waterboarded

No. I’m not clarifying.

List their reductive fandom tropes/fandom appeal

Uhhh- enemies to lovers i guess is what they are

Touch stuff (Seymour)

Like I mentioned, Seymour is way more touchy, whoever there are some exceptions.

I didn’t mention this in my long backstory post, but Seymour has several scars on his head from getting his hair yanked to much when he was a kid. That, plus him being afraid of other people ruining his hair, makes him very hesitant to let anyone touch his head.

While he doesn’t dislike having his legs touched, it more depends the context. He fidgets and stims primarily with his legs.

He’s also very defensive and grew up with a rough background and in a rough neighborhood, so in certain contexts he may view it as getting attacked (particularly in the green areas)

Touch stuff (Beau)

Beau is not as touchy as Seymour and has more boundaries.

Beau in my AU is a germaphobe. He typically wears gloves, so holding his hand is fine, but he gets a lot more reluctant to touch anything he’s not sure is clean when his gloves are off. This also applies to his face. While he doesn’t mind someone holding his cheek, or their hand in his hair, he want nothing near his mouth.

With Seymour, he loves having his waist held. Plus, he’s a dancer and used to do a lot of ballet, so he’s really used to it.

That’s it, always love getting to rant about the gay show hosts.

[misslavenderlady]

Hey friend:) so excited your requests are open!

Could I request a fic for subby Paul and a fem dom reader please?

Good Boy 🦴

Paul/Female!Reader

Summary: Paul may be mischievous, but he can be a very good boy when he's put in his place. You're the one to remind him of that~

Thank you @britany1997 for the request! I hope you enjoyed this! Everyone send her some love for her own writing!

WARNINGS: Nsfw/Smut/18+ Readers Only, BDSM, Dom/Sub, Femdom, Collar, Leash, Strap-on, Blowjob, Deepthroating, Pegging, Anal Sex, Lap Sex, Roughness, Hair-pulling, Degradation, Pet names, Spanking, Aftercare

Nobody outside of the Lost Boys knows this, but Paul has a special nickname; Puppy.  

Being a biker gang member who also happens to be a vampire doesn’t really seem like the kind of personality to warrant a cute name like that, but it’s for good reason. Paul has all the same characteristics as a puppy. He’s playful, energetic, affectionate, cuddly, chaotic, and of course, cannot stop humping things he likes. The name “Puppy” came very naturally because of this. 

David and the others thought it was cute at first. Having a wild and fun guy like Paul to keep everyone on their toes and boost the energy made for a great addition to their gang when he was turned years ago. While they all still love him, David didn’t always like having to tell Paul to calm down when he got too out of control.  

Sometimes he had to grab the back of his jacket to keep him from running straight into oncoming traffic. Other times, he had to hold him back before Paul started slaughtering jerks in front of several witnesses. There were even times he had to pull him off of Marko or Dwayne before their intense make-out sessions turned into very public sex.  

He adored Paul as his fellow vampire and gang member, but sometimes, it got a little too stressful when there were more important things to worry about. David realized something had to be done about the wild boy and his antics when there was one particularly annoying night out. It involved Paul getting too carried away with some play fighting with Marko after a hunt. When David attempted to break it up, he was met with Paul's fangs biting down on his arm.  

To be fair, everyone was still riled up from the bloodlust, and it was an accident at the moment. But David realized as their leader, he had to keep the others in line when they got too out of hand. The others certainly knew this, but their “puppy” needed to be taught a lesson.  

And David knew just who to ask to get the job done. 

“So you’re getting fed up with Paul’s mishaps, huh?” you asked.  

You were leaning up against the metal railing on the boardwalk's edge, sharing an evening smoke with David as the two of you talked about your newest member. You had been the least troublesome when you were still a newborn vampire, and it quickly earned you the title of being David’s right-hand woman. That meant following any orders given too. 

“Don’t get me wrong. The guy is very adorable and charming, but he has to learn to back off when things get a little too hectic,” David explained, letting smoke flow from his lips. “And I can’t think of a better person to make him behave than you” 

You smirked as David took another drag of his cigarette. With just that one statement, you knew just what the blond was implying. It wasn’t exactly a secret that you were an attractive woman and had some influence on getting people to do what you wanted. Paul was no exception to this, as he practically pounced on you at any given opportunity. If anyone could get Paul to be more obedient to their leader, it was you. 

“Does that mean I have your permission to…roughen him up a bit~?”  

David gave you a sly smile before taking the last bit of his cigarette and dropping it onto the ground and crushing it with his boot.  

“By all means, have as much fun with our pup as you want~” 

Paul didn’t always make a calm, casual entrance into a room. Sometimes he would fly in and do elaborate moves in the air, other times he’d be running while jumping over pieces of furniture without any concern about someone coming by and getting knocked over. This was one of his hectic nights, so once he had woken up from his daytime slumber, he came sprinting into the main lobby to find his friends.  

He was moving so fast that he barely had enough time to stop before tumbling over the couch. When he flipped over the side and landed on the seat cushion, he burst into a fit of giggles. Paul often had a goofy smile on his face when he was causing a ruckus.  

"You're awfully chipper tonight, baby" 

Paul's giggle fit subsided when he realized he wasn't alone. With his head turned in the direction the voice came from, he was greeted by the sight of your pretty face. You were sitting in your favorite chair, looking rather cozy with one leg crossed over the other.  

"Hey, Sugar!" Paul greeted you. "Wanna go out? Just you and me? We could go to the Tunnel-Of-Love on the boardwalk and fool around in the dark~" 

Figures that the very first thing Paul would want to do after waking up was getting frisky. A devious smirk stretched across your face. Paul would get what he wanted, but it was going to be on your terms.  

"No, I don't think so. You're not going anywhere" 

"Oh? And why is that?" he snorted.  

"Because you're being punished…Puppy" 

In a matter of seconds the playful expression on Paul's face washed away, swiftly replaced with worry. There were only two times when he was called "Puppy". When he was being teased for acting rowdy, and when he was being disciplined. It looked like the latter was happening tonight.  

"David hasn't been too pleased with your behavior lately. You've been a very naughty boy, haven't you?"  

Paul visibly gulped while shifting around on his spot on the couch. Rather than be splayed out across the surface, he was huddled more into one spot, making himself appear smaller. He always had a habit of doing that when he felt more submissive. It was so precious to see him act in such a way.  

"Answer me, Puppy" 

"Y-Yeah…I guess…" 

With your eyes still glued to him, you reached down to the side of your chair and picked up a special toy you had been saving for this special occasion. On the crook of your finger was a black, spiked collar. One that fit Paul’s neck perfectly. A long, silver chain dangled from it. Even from across the room, you could see how excited the sight of it got Paul. 

“On the floor. Hands and knees,” you ordered. “Crawl to me nice and slow~” 

Though you didn’t have powers as impressive as David’s, you were still able to entice Paul with your feminine charms. A shimmer reflected in his baby blue eyes as he did as he was told. Seeing such a powerful vampire down on his knees like a helpless pet made you feel invincible.  

You smirked as you moved, hips swaying with every inch he got closer to your seat. Paul really was a beautiful-looking guy, and you adored how sweet he was. Sweet and loyal as a pet should be. 

When he was right in front of your seat, he sat back on his knees and laid his hands nice and pretty over his legs. You smiled down at him as you leaned forward to clip his collar around his neck. A soft gasp fell from his lips as you tightened the leather, letting it grip around his stubbled skin. With the accessory right in place, you gripped the end of the leash, showing how much you were in control. 

“You’ve been acting up quite a bit, haven’t you, Puppy~?” you cooed, giving the leash a sharp tug. “Gotta do a little bit of retraining with you. Good thing I have just the toy to work with” 

Paul tilted his head in curiosity. He really was like a puppy. When you uncrossed your legs and revealed your surprise, his eyes widened in shock. 

A very noticeable bulge was stretched over the fabric of your jeans. It was a strap-on dildo tucked away, yet you grabbed and stroked your fingers over it as if it were a real cock. You even moaned softly as you did to make it more authentic. It was causing Paul to struggle with some tightness in his own pants.  

"Take my cock out and use that pretty little mouth, Puppy" 

"Yes, ma'am~!" 

The blond vampire was salivating as he pulled down your zipper and undid the button. He nearly got smacked in the face by your cock. It was quite a hefty toy but he could take it.  

His pretty, dark lashes fluttered as he leaned in for a kiss on the tip. No matter who he was giving head to, Paul always started with a kiss. His tongue slipped out to slide across the slit, rolling over the silicone material.  

Even if it was fake, it was an incredibly realistic toy. Every part from the skin tone to the texture to the small details made it look like the real thing. It was quite a pretty penny to buy, but the credit card you swiped off some random sucker on the boardwalk took care of that.  

Speaking of sucker~  

"Oooh what a good pup. You love your toy, dontcha~?" you cooed. Paul ran his tongue over the mighty length, intoxicated by the taste. You encouraged him to taste you some more by raking your fingers through his golden locks and pushing his face downward.  

He moaned around your cock, hungrily swallowing inch after inch. Paulie was a truly talented cock sucker. His moans were like music to you, so perfectly loud and sensual as he took you further into his mouth and down his throat. Even if you couldn’t feel the sensations like the boys could, seeing your blond lover suck on the toy was really turning you on.  

Wanting to get a little rough, you grabbed onto his hair with a tighter grip, pulling hard on it as you forced all the length into his mouth. Paul’s eyes widened, and he whimpered at the sudden sensation. Even with the lack of a gag reflex, he still choked on the massive length filling him up. 

While he was deepthroating your toy, Paul tried to be a little sneaky. You caught him running a hand over the massive bulge in his pants. Given you hadn’t given him permission to touch himself, the pup had to be punished so he would know better. 

“Oh no you don’t, Puppy,” you scolded him, forcing him off your toy. A strand of drool pulled from his mouth, showing off what a mess he made. “You don’t touch yourself without me telling you to. Bad dog~”  

Paul’s eyebrows turned upward and his lip quivered. He didn’t want to stop, but he didn’t like being scolded for acting like a bad boy. 

“You want to make it up to me, Puppy? Drop your pants and sit on my lap for a while. I’ll put you back in your place~” 

From your pocket, you pulled out a small bottle of lube, ready to use it to coat each inch of your cock. It was a massive toy that was fastened to the harness, but you knew Paul could take it. Though there was a bit of struggle and pain, he was such a little slut. So of course, while you lubed up, he did as he was told, pulling his white jeans and underwear down. His cock sprang out, painfully hard from all that you’d done to him. 

“Sit on my lap, baby boy. And don’t you even think about touching yourself. If you’re gonna cum, it’ll be from me fucking you” 

The vampire didn’t have to be told twice. He turned around so he could lower himself down onto your lap. With one hand you stroked his hair again, and with the other you used to line the toy up to his hole, eagerly pushing yourself inside of him. 

“A-Aah!! Oooh fu-fuck!” he whimpered. Poor thing was shaking like a leaf, and it only turned you on more. 

Paul couldn’t move for a little while. With how he was filled to the brim with your toy, it was damn near impossible for him to move. Still, you weren’t going to let that stop you. In a flash, you brought your hand down onto his ass, smacking the flesh as hard as you could. Poor thing really did sound like a pup with how he yipped. 

“Start moving, Puppy” 

You smiled to yourself as Paul nodded. He carefully brought his hips upward before bringing them back down to let the cock slip in and out. Paul was such a noisy little thing, and it was so fun to listen to what sweet sounds fell from his mouth.  

He had built up a steady rhythm, riding your fat cock with newfound ease. If he slowed down for even a moment, you spanked him again. With each slap against his perky ass, you began to wonder if he was doing such a thing on purpose so you would hit him. Paul was always quite the kinky thing. You didn’t mind playing along and giving him what he wanted.  

“God damn, you feel so good on my dick, baby,” you praised him. Each time he would grind against you, the base of the toy rubbed against your clit, adding to your own pleasure. It made you both sigh and moan with absolute bliss. You couldn’t get enough of him. 

While Paul was bouncing eagerly in your lap, you wrapped your hand around his leash once again. With a strong tug, you watched him throw his head back, crying out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. He really could take it like a champ. 

“Such a little slut. Your cock is twitching from me being rough with you. I know you can be a good pup for me,” you cooed, adding another tug for good measure. “If you’re a good boy and do what I say, you’ll get whatever you want, Puppy. That’s a promise~” 

“Fuck! FUCK! Please! Please!!” 

“What are you begging for, pup~?” 

Paul was such a mess. He whined and cried like a bitch in heat, and he rode your cock like one too. It made him beg louder.  

“PLEASE LET ME CUM! Please let me! It hurts!!” 

You couldn’t help but giggle in delight at how adorable he sounded. Feeling generous, you loosened your grip on the leash so he could get a little bit of his breath back. Your roughness was replaced with a touch of sweetness when you leaned forward to kiss the top of his head. 

“Awww Puppy. Go on and cum for me. Make a mess while I’m balls-deep inside of you~” 

Paul rode your cock faster than ever, bouncing his ass up and down over and over. Before you knew it, he was crying out in ecstasy as he came hard all over his belly. His body shook harshly from the intensity of his orgasm, and it nearly caused him to fall over. Thankfully, you were quick enough to wrap your arms around him and pull him close so he wouldn’t do so. 

He had been a very good boy for you, so it was natural that you rewarded him for behaving so nicely. You carefully pulled the toy out of his ass, letting him relax for a while. You quickly undid the collar around his neck and replaced the harsh rubbing sensation with soft kisses against his skin. Paul sighed, grateful to get a little TLC from you. 

“There we go, Puppy. You’re so good for me. Such a sweet boy~” you cooed in his ear. Paul shifted around in your lap so he could snuggle up against you. Out of all of the Lost Boys, he was the most affectionate when it came to getting aftercare. 

“I want you to be on your best behavior from now on, Paulie,” you instructed him. “David can’t always be around to check on you. Gotta behave yourself so you don’t get into trouble. Can you do that for me?” 

Paul smiled softly, eyes fluttering shut as he relaxed in your arms. He nuzzled up against you, feeling better than ever. At that moment, he would have done anything you asked of him.  

“I can do that. I promise” 

“Good boy~” 

[juicezone]

"So. I was thinking-"

"Wow. Bold of you."

Ward stopped as Cooper cut him off, not even looking up as he interrupted. The scientist reached over for a nearby pillow and chucked it at the other before continuing.

"I was thinking, you should throw a tantrum."

Cooper paused in his task, putting down the toolset he'd been cleaning, and turned around to stare at Cooper with a look of disbelief. Ward looked back at him, his own expression casual and unbothered, like he'd suggested something mundane.

"I should throw a tantrum?" Cooper repeated when no elaboration came. Ward nodded and shrugged. Again, Cooper's expression held some sort of off-guard bewilderment.

"Yeah. You know, stomp your feet when Len says no, demand extra syrup for breakfast, refuse to clean up your toys. I mean, you'd have to start small, probably," Ward explained, like they were discussing some everyday topic, "I mean, if you want to go straight to total meltdown, kicking and screaming, go for it."

"Why the hell would I throw a tantrum, Ward? What on Earth would that achieve?" Cooper continued with their question, still struggling to grasp why in the world Ward would suggest such a thing.

"Because you need to learn how to be difficult?" Ward sighed at the look he got, and the engineer couldn't quite tell if the sigh was genuine.

"Look, you're great at being the easy kid. You're great at being the functional, useful adult. But you gotta admit, Cooper, sometimes you're too easy." Ward's voice was almost uncharacteristically serious, gentle but firm, "You never stand up for the things you really want."

"I'm not saying become an absolute spoiled kid, but it's okay to like... dig up and express those wants and stuff. And hey, if you practice having tantrums, it gets easier to actually have them."

"Practice having tantrums." Ward echoed and Ward nodded.

"Yeah. Plus, it'll help Len too. He'll know what to do for you and what not to do for you. Like- I don't get early bedtimes if I throw a tantrum, but Len makes me take a break. It's not a time out, just a break."

Cooper didn't say anything in response, and after several minutes of silence, Ward just shrugged.

"Hey, just a suggestion. I think I could show you, if you want. Just let me know, yeah?" Ward finished his last thought, turning back to his own data sheets as if he hadn't just randomly dropped an entire concept onto the other. Cooper just stared at him, before eventually turning back to his own work.

Still... the idea had been implanted. Cooper had watched- definitely not jealous- as McCoy had patiently dealt with Ward's tantrums. The idea of their (partially) shared caregiver being just as patient and understanding with Cooper's own bottled up frustrations was something that just... refused to leave his head.

"Practice having tantrums." Cooper repeated later that night, staring up at his ceiling. "Huh."

[quinloki]

Hii I was called so I'm back with another novel :') thank u anon but you're great at cooking without me lol! Ironically I think a lot of yanderes would be a bit softer to a monster than a human love interest, much more willing to try and compromise or meet you in the middle. Someone so unfamiliar with humans is expected to have more trouble with their rules- though truthfully, they're a bit infantilizing, assuming you understand far less than you really do. If you're smart, and very careful, you can take advantage of this. You don't emote the same way humans do so you're harder to read. It's a little(read: VERY) insulting how some people coo over you and insist you don't even know you're doing anything wrong, but perhaps it's best not to look a gift seahorse in the mouth... You get away with a surprising amount, testing boundaries. Huh? Leaving? You're going for a morning flight/swim, you've been cooped up all night. You want to catch a snack. Isn't that what Marco was doing too? What's "patrol," you thought that was a type of oil... take Marco with you next time? Oh, that's okay, you'll be just fine! Don't worry, you're very good at this and won't get lost- you can smell the ship from almost a mile away! Really, what are you all so worried about?

And of course the fuck part of monsterfucker. It takes them awhile to get to that- they know for the most part how not to break a human, but they don't know what your lines are or what it will do to you if they're crossed. What sort of courting customs do your kind have? What instincts, behaviors and traditions are they dealing with here? What kind of... anatomy? Do your kind mate for life? Are multiple partners possible? Do your kind have a breeding season, and if so, are you even capable of sexual attraction outside of it? If asked any questions about sex, you usually skirt around them, saying something like "isn't that sort of... rude..?" The one concrete thing they get out of you for awhile is one night when you're drunk. "Yeah of course I know how humans fuck. Most of my stuff is scavenged- I've looked through a lot of books and, um-" you make a wobbly motion with your clawed hands. "The... other books. The skinny flimsy ones with more pictures that smell like chemicals."

"... You mean magazines?"

"That sounds right. Anyway, humans are obsessed with sex they write it and draw it all the time. Of course I know." You pull a face. "A lot of it looks really uncomfortable." You don't elaborate. Everyone at the table shares looks with eachother.

XD I love it \o/

What a great little story you got going here. Keeping everyone on their toes because the point is to keep you, not break you, and if they keep you out of the water too long, maybe it would be really bad.

Maybe if you don't get sun light you will wither.

Maybe some innocent touch between humans is severely intimate for you.

Ah, I love the weight it puts on the yanderes /nod nod/

[vamqiredove]

OKOK @indigoartistqueen i'll ramble and elaborate err i'm keepin it here cause this rlly isn't smthing i want on slaingelo especially bc i get a bit mad in this oops

CAMERAS LIKE THAT ARE USELESS. ALSO THEY MAKE SHIT WORSE IF YOU ARE PARANOID. having them inside your house is unnecessary unless you're convinced someone's living in your house without you knowing. otherwise it does nothing but take up electricity or batteries and money ect ect whatever. If you unnecessarily install cameras you're going to be checking them constantly. and also within the context of just "waah my big strong man is out for a week i'm so scareed i'm going to put cameras inside my house" WHAT IS THAT GOING TO DOOOOOOOOOOO SOMEONE HAS TO /ALREADY BE BROKEN IN TO YOUR HOUSE/ FOR THAT TO BE "USEFUL" AT ALL AND BY THAT POINT IT'S NOT SECURITY WHATTTTTT

like other people said in that post, security like that makes it impossible to get out of your house fast/give first responders a hard time getting in. I have a bar in my window. it's removable from the inside very easily and all it serves to do is keep the window from opening more than a few inches. this mf would install damn prison bars if her husband had to go away for a month.

IF YOU'RE THAT PARANOID ABOUT LOCKS GET A FUCKING DEADBOLT AND/OR CHAINLOCK OH MY GOD. first responders are more likely to know how to get around those than "mobile locks" what the fuck is a mobile lock. OH WAIT !! SHE ALREADY HAS A DEADBOLT AND SHE'S DOUBLING UP WITH THE MOBILE LOCK. HUH ???????????????????????????????????

YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW YOU ARE HOME.... when I'm home alone I actively try to make it look like someone's always awake. do I go over the top locking every door and window in the house and leave the curtains facing the backyard closed and did I once move furniture to block my bedroom door in order to sleep ? yeah sure but I'M MENTALLY ILL. WHAT I'M SCARED OF ISN'T EVEN PEOPLE BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE FFS IT'S MONSTERS THAT AREN'T REAL BUT MY DELUSIONAL BRAIN CONVINCES ME IT IS REAL TO THE POINT OF INSOMNIA IN PARTICULARLY BAD EPISODES. I AM NOT THE AVERAGE WHITE AMERICAN WOMAN FOR I AM NOT EVEN ANY OF THOSE THINGS

literally the only way I can see someone going this far for security in a way that ISN'T just "this is an ad" and/or "i am trying to brew fascism" is if someone fell into the delusion of being gangstalked, and in which case, they probably aren't posting their entire security system online because they'd be convinced their stalkers are watching their every move online and offline lol... it sure as hell wouldn't be framed like this either. also if it was the case she'd still be scared while her husband was home. it wouldn't magically appear when he's done, it would be constant.

doing shit like this isn't normal nor healthy, it's either a sign of going severe into the alt right pipeline and/or severe mental health issues that are going unchecked bc those are absolutely not mutually exclusive.

even the "keeping a flashlight nearby" thing is stupid in the sense that I DO THAT. BECAUSE WE FREQUENTLY GET POWER OUTAGES HERE ???????????????? what's it going to do if there is an intruder are you going to shine it in their fuckin face. what, can't see them thru your aesthetic lighting ?? what's the fuckin whistle going to do ... you've isolated yourself your home alone it's a WHISTLE. at the veyr least get a fucking weapon, HUH ?????????????

honestly I don't even know how coherent any of this is, it pisses me off a lot. I've done a lot of shit to try and feel "safe" and frankly it feels insulting especially given my minor agoraphobia too [ can't leave the house alone, i always need a friend or family w/ me ] especially the weird way this shit is made aesthetic. AGAIN. LIKE THE FUCKIN PURPLE LIGHTING IN THE VIDEO. AND ALSO THE SLEEK TECH.

the aesthetic-ification of that video is probably what REALLY gets me mad about it though.. like it really just makes it feel like an ad playing both on white peoples fears and mentally ill people.

blah blah my experiences aren't universal and my delusional paranoia isn't "that bad" compared to other ppls. whatever. i don't like it either way

[flutteringfable]

doodles of miwa except i REALLY wanted to draw them on the brink of tears and crying. also kitty jammies

i want them to be like. the type of person that wants to consistently look like theyre fine so as not to concern other people. so when they do cry, they tend to blame it on exhaustion or overworking so people don't get too worried. even in situations where it would be totally normal to cry, miwa has put up so many walls that it's just instinct to try to hide it regardless.

when theyre on the brink of tears, they try to smile more to stave them off. it rarely works but its become such a habit they do it regardless. theyre pretty okay at holding back their tears and hiding their true emotions, but under extreme pressure (like, say. a killing game.) it becomes more difficult.

oc x canon ramblings because this train of thought accidentally got really out of hand:

i think that kokichi can always clock when miwa's smiles are fake, no matter how convinced everyone else is. he's a liar himself, after all, and knows how to read all the signs. it comes as no surprise to him; no one would be able to remain that unshakably positive during something as terrifying as a killing game. earlier on in the game, he finds himself... worried, for whatever reason. seeing miwa strain to keep up their warm and brave personality is straining in and of itself.

after the first trial, miwa is the first to leave. they don't want anyone to see them crying, even if several others are, too. kokichi is the only one to notice their haste. when miwa hurries through the dining hall the next morning to get breakfast, they take it outside instead of eating with everyone else. kokichi follows (not without suspicion from the others, of course).

he finds them in the courtyard, and miwa doesn't notice him until he's close enough to hear them sniffling. they startle once they realize he's there, and try to quickly wipe their face. miwa knows they're caught, though.

they worry, at first. they've been around kokichi for long enough to be suspicious of his intentions. however, kokichi just sits next to them.

"bottling stuff up for so long is bad for you, y'know."

"...huh?"

"it's perfectly reasonable to cry in a situation like this. i don't think anyone here would think you're weird for it."

miwa gives kokichi the most intense side eye he's ever seen.

"woah, hey, no need for the look. you've seen how much i cry; i might be a liar but i'm no hypocrite."

okay, well, maybe that was a lie, too. kokichi never claimed to be good at genuine reassuring words. miwa seems to pick up on this, but doesn't make a comment. instead, they sigh.

"i just... don't like people seeing me cry. i feel like it makes things awkward, or brings them down, too. it's kinda stupid reasoning, i know."

kokichi catches himself before he reflexively replies with a snarky remark. god dammit, he's really out of practice with this whole comforting thing. he decides to pat miwa's shoulder instead.

"it's not stupid. i can see where you're coming from. still, i promise it's okay to let yourself cry around other people. i think just about everyone here would understand."

"and how do i know all of this isn't some elaborate lie to make me embarrass myself?"

kokichi smiles. it's very brief, but the intention is genuine.

"you're just gonna have to trust me."

[truthdawn]

thoughts/ideas that ive had with the rise turtles under the cut (btw its kinda long and its just me rambling. youve been warned)

ive had 2 ideas for aus. One of them is like a splatoon au and the other one ive just titled “bad ending”. I’ll elaborate a bit more on that lower but first the splatoon stuff:

ok so the turtles might be octolings just because I want to stay more lore accurate so ig living in a sewer would be the splatoon equivalent of being an octoling before splatoon 2 (and octo dlc) events (but I really wanna just make designs for both species for all brothers anywayssss)

also new idea I literally had while typing this but what if eye masks were color of masks. so like raph having a red eye mask, mikey have a orange one, etc

ANYWAYS ive already decided (for now) what weapons each brother uses:

-raph uses a splatling, probably a hydra. or maybe tenta brella

-donnie uses a charger or a blaster (but most likely the charger.

-leo uses any splatana. I dont think he’d care which one in particular

-mikey will either use a slosher deco (since it has zipcaster) or an inkbrush. uhhhh yea their ink would probably be different colors. maybe the ends of the hair would be tinted green though. or maybe during specials itd be the same colors for all of them. btw specials would be the same as using their ninpo

splinter would be like cuttlefish to the agents in regards to the turtles. so he’s not their biological father nor the same species but hes still a father figure. april would be an inkling

OH OH NEW THOUGHT. since in the show mikey would hide in his shell sometimes I think the splatoon equivalent of that would be going squid form (or in their case octopus form)

uhhh I havent watched the movie yet but I know a lot about it SO I guess that the equivalent of the krang in this universe would be like. mr grizz. I dont think itd be like a tartar type of infection because you can physically remove the krang from your body and once youre sanitized you cant remove it (unless its like an agent 3 thing) but personally I think an infection more like the fuzzy ooze would fit better because unlike getting sanitized it makes the victim feral WHICH has more similair behaviors to the krang than getting sanitized

OK NEXT IS THE “bad ending” au idea

again, havent watched the movie yet (trying to finish the tv show first, im on episode 14) but basically its an au where everything is bad and nothing is happy (<- could not for the LIFE of me figure out how to phrase it and ended up with this. sorry lol)

but uh ig to make it a bit more clear (man my grammar sure is something rn huh?) I wanted to make an au where the ending was already “set” but I could add things like backstories and lore sooo imma have fun with that once it happens >:D

ill have to watch the movie to flesh out the events a bit more but what I have right now is that casey was never able to find/warn the turtles in time of krang invasion and that ended up with each of the turtle brothers getting corrupted. AGAIN. I WILL WATCH THE MOVIE. AND READ LORE. sorry if this seems inaccurate to movie stuff (even though this au really only needs the lore from the very beginning of the movie)

a little spoiler for the au (because I kinda wanna make little comics or stories for them..) but raph got corrupted first, then mikey (but hes not technically “fully” corrupted), then donnie, and then leo. april and casey are both still alive but splinter is missing. not dead or anything but just missing

ANYWAYS. *claps hands together* HEADCANON TIME (also ideas that ive had to draw. you can use them too if you want just credit me mk)

once raph got flipped over on his shell and instead of helping leo used him like a beyblade. he was NOT happy

mikey has (on several occasions) drawn on his brothers shells when theyre asleep or not paying attention (for donnie he draws on the battle shell lol)

if mikey really wants their attention he'll scream really loudly

sometimes leo will put stuff in donnies coffee to make him sleep especially if donnie hasn't sleep in a while (cause donnies a stubborn bitch who thinks sleep isnt real)

raph once got so mad he broke an entire arcade game and then had to go get a new one (haha L)

all of them dont think they need therapy (they do)

sometimes when donnie talks for too long leo will just go "BREATHE."

final headcanons below because I wanted to separate them from the rest (what happens in arguments depending on the brothers arguing)

mikey barely argues with anyone but when he does argue (and is serious about it) he does NOT hold back

raph and donnie arguments are usually what its like to have arguments online (donnie tries to explain why hes right and raph just goes "nuh uh ur wrong and im right")

raph and leo arguments are much more common and heated than stated above. raph will usually raise his voice towards leo and then leo will just not care and try to make a joke out of it (that always turns out badly). sometimes they even cry lol

donnie and leo arguments are VERY physical. leo would say something and then when donnie says something back hed push or shove him and then that turns into a full blown fight

they always make up though :3

heres the end. you made it through this. congrats and thank u for reading my rambles about stuff. this will not be the last time btw. feel free to ask questions about any of this or use my headcanons for stuff (credit me though if ya do). thats it buh bye (this is all queued ill still probably be asleep by the time this posts lol)

[mikanarezza]

Fic Preview

Hey so I seem to have accidentally, over the course of the last several months, written about 60 pages of polyam Martin/Ryker/Ares fanfiction? It’s only about half over? I haven’t written in years? I’m not sure how this happened? ᴵ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ᴵ'ᵐ ᵍᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ᶦᵗˀ

Anyway I thought I’d share an excerpt, because at some point it feels wild to not share this somewhere. So here, have this preview for a 50k enemies to lovers fic with a target audience of, like... me?

Summary: Ares is taken into SEED custody while desperately trying to get his two closest friends to tolerate each other’s presence. With Ares gone, Martin and Ryker will need to put aside their differences on a cross country trip to the capital to get their mutual love interest back. 

Ryker had been waiting for some time at the gates. Maybe Martin changed his mind after all. He tried not to think about how disappointed that prospect made him. He didn’t want him to come along in the first place, it was just that the idea of tackling this alone was terrifying.

That’s why he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Martin making his way towards the gates. “You’re lucky you showed up when you did, I was about to leave without you.”

“Excuse me for living on the other side of town, Ryker.” Martin shifted his sizable backpack to a more comfortable position on his shoulders. He packed much heavier than Ryker seemed to have, but he felt confident in his ability to handle the weight.

“You got a different excuse? I took a pretty big detour.” Ryker said offhandedly. He had rushed off to Basara’s Hideaway upon realizing Oswald was probably still kicking around there.

Oswald didn’t have much intel that they didn’t already know, but he did have notes on his HQ floor plans that would (hopefully) make it more accurate. It was (again, hopefully) worth the trip.

“I packed more than a bad attitude.” Martin stated matter of factly as he began walking through the town gates.

After some comments about where Martin could stick his own bad attitude, they were back to their typical all-out bickering as they began their journey.

Not that he would admit it, but he was glad for it. It felt almost normal. It was something he desperately needed.

 “So… what next? Do we… even know where SEED HQ is?”

“Yes and no.”

“Helpful as always.” Martin said before taking a big swig of his canteen.

“You didn’t let me finish, you ass.” Ryker rolled his eyes and continued. “It’s in the sky.”

Martin nearly spit out his water from the shock. “Oh yes, sorry that’s much more helpful.”  Martin said with an understated sarcasm.

“Still not finished. Anyway, while it could be anywhere, I know what can take us there. Most of SEED uses teleportation to get where they need, but they can’t get around that they need supplies. There are airships that fly back and forth every week. All we have to do is sneak onto one of those ships and we’ll be all set.” Ryker explained. It seemed like Martin was beginning to understand, and so he elaborated. “They switch up the ships they use a lot for security reasons, but it sounds like the one they’re working with right now is the S.S Vespa.”

“And that would be…where?” Martin followed up.

“In Palermo. The capital, if you don’t slow me down too much, should be a twelve day walk. There’ll be a few towns along the way that we can restock in. Any more smart remarks?”

At this Martin stayed quiet but raised his middle fingers with little by way of expression for Ryker to read.

Things continued like this for a ways, their bickering shifted to a more comfortable silence under the guiding light of Ryker’s magic. It didn’t take more than an hour for Martin to begin to yawn. Muffled at first, but as time went on, and even the light of the moon began to fade behind the treeline, it quickly became clear that the last of his energy was waning. 

“Getting tired already, huh?” Ryker teased.

Martin appeared to consider this, before he came to his conclusion. “No.” Martin said tersely as he straightened his posture and moved just a bit faster.

That was not the answer Ryker was expecting. At least not with that level of conviction. Of course he was getting tired. Ryker usually had maybe a few hours left in him around this time, but with the adrenaline wearing off even he was starting to feel it.

Martin was an early bird. He was clearly exhausted.

But fine, if they were doing this, then they were doing this, he wasn’t about to be upstaged.

“Good, because I’ve got five more hours in me at least.” Ryker said, holding out his arms in a grand, theatrical gesture.

Martin stared straight ahead and finally nodded. “Okay.”

Ryker balked. “Okay, then.” Martin is usually so willing to fight, for him not to bicker about this was becoming borderline unsettling. So unsettling he did not press the issue for the next hour as they walked. 

Martin spent the time clearly trying to hide his yawns. He was wholly unsuccessful.

Ryker had enough when Martin stumbled and fell against him. Ryker managed to grab him by the shoulders to keep him upright, but just barely.

“Goddess, Martin, what are you-” When he got a good look at him, Ryker noticed his eyes were fluttering as Martin regained clarity. As if he was-

“Okay that’s it. We’re making camp.” Ryker said as he helped Martin regain his balance. 

“Huh? No, I’ll be okay. Sorry I just-”

“You just fell asleep standing up is what you did.” With a huff, Ryker dragged him to the side of the road, and motioned towards the base of a nearby tree. “Sit. I’m going to look for a safe place to sleep.”

Martin seemed to lose all fight he had in him at the prospect of rest. He was sitting before he realized what he was doing and had to stop himself from nodding off then and there.

“Just don’t… don’t go on without me.” Martin mumbled before he finally gave himself over to sleep.

“Ah. So that’s what this was about.” Ryker whispered. Though, if Martin could still hear, he gave no indication of it. 

Of course he thought he was going to ditch him. That Ryker agreed to this in the first place was already a miracle. Still, it was insulting that Martin thought he would just change his mind so soon like that.

Ryker himself was starting to feel the exhaustion creep in as he moved through the brush. He hadn’t walked so much in a day in… well, since he lived with his family.

Pushing thoughts of lost loved ones aside, he was able to quickly find a spot big enough to set a small fire. It wasn’t the safest, but it was enough to scare off wild animals, which were the main threat in this area of the woods. They’d have to think of something more secure on subsequent nights, but for now they both desperately needed the sleep.

After a quick once-over to verify that everything was in order, he made his way back to the nearby trail.

When he returned, he was almost surprised to see Martin was where he left him, fully asleep. After the day he’d had, this felt like a small miracle. “Hey sleepyhead. Time to go, I found a spot.”

“Hm?” Martin muttered as he opened his eyes to see Ryker, arms crossed, tapping his foot impatiently.

As he began to close his eyes again, he was startled by a kick to his side. Not aggressive, but on the sharper side of a friendly tap. 

“Ow, okay, okay, ’m getting up.” Martin said blearily. True to his word, he stood with a loud yawn.

“Good, because I wasn’t about to carry you.” Ryker said as he motioned for the direction of their camping spot and began the final few yards of the day.

As Martin slung his large camping bag over his shoulder, he laughed. “I don’t think you could.”

With a roll of his eyes, Ryker grumbled at this, “Not with all that trash you’re carrying with you, no wonder you’re passing out.”

He scoffed “They’re called supplies, and I can handle it. I knew you’d skimp out, so someone had to make sure we don’t starve.”

As much as he hated to, Ryker did have to admit that he really had carried that bag a long way. And for so much later than, in retrospect, he really should have.

He also hated to admit that Martin was right. He wasn’t thinking when he packed. Thinking wasn’t exactly the thing he was known for.

Martin, on the other hand, was constantly thinking, worrying, working. He never stopped, in a way that Ryker found infuriating. There was a part of him that was honestly surprised he was pushed to the point of passing out this quickly. Not his best record, to be sure. 

Ryker stopped in his tracks as he came to a realization. “Martin… How much sleep did you get the night before?”

Martin was silent a bit too long for Ryker’s liking. He nearly turned to make sure he hadn’t passed out again before he finally spoke. “Enough.”

“So… three hours? Maybe four?” Ryker accused. Thankfully they could see the light of the fire approaching, and they pressed on. “And before you say anything, I don’t think the hours we were knocked out really count here.”

“Maybe two? No… wait, that might have been- look I don’t see why it matters.”

“Might have been what?”

“...Two days ago.” Martin said.

“Martin. Dammit what the hell is wrong with you?” Ryker felt himself short circuit. He grabbed Martin’s wrist as he pulled the other boy through the last stretch of brush towards their makeshift camp. The only thing on his mind was getting his idiot of a travel companion to somewhere that he could sleep.

“We made good time, didn’t we? Again, it really doesn’t matter.”

Ryker was too tired for this.

“See, this is what’s so frustrating with you all the time. It matters. You matter. And… and I know it’s not my place to say that.” Not anymore, “but Ares isn’t here to make sure you take care of yourself, so I guess that’s my job now.” Ryker hoped the red light of the fire as they arrived at their destination masked the red in his face that he knew was there. 

Martin was stunned into silence as he sat his pack down by the fire and began removing his sleeping bag.

Ryker was honestly hoping for an insult, or something that might allow him to forget how much he overshared. Instead, he was left to wallow for what felt like an eternity.

“Thank you. That… actually means a lot.” Martin finally broke the silence as he crawled into his sleeping bag. “G’night Ryker.”

It was at this point Ryker noticed a second sleeping bag in Martin’s pack. Despite himself, he smiled. “Good night.”

[dragonbinx]

Halloween Decor

From my Halloween series last year.  Posted on Ao3 here.

Series: NCIS: Hawai’i

Ship: Kacy

Characters: Lucy Tara, Kate Whistler

When Kate Whistler walked into the NCIS office that morning, the last thing she expected to see was her girlfriend’s desk full of Halloween decorations. And not the kind her parents had used, velvet pumpkins and ceramic black cats. There was black and orange tinsel and several things that looked like they came from happy meals. They were plastic and had springs and wheels on the bottom, chips in the paint, and several of them had puns written on them.

“I see you’re checking out Lucy’s Halloween display.” Jesse came from behind her, grinning. “Yeah, she does this every year. Gets super into it.”

“Um, so, is it just a work thing?” Kate tried to ask casually.

“Oh, no. She dresses up in these elaborate costumes, carves pumpkins, really gets into the whole thing. You didn’t know?”

“I sort of remember she had some things up last year, but I don’t remember it being this … excessive.”

“That’s because of you,” Jesse told her. “Apparently she found more stuff when she was clearing out of her old apartment to move in with you.”

“Oh. Great.”

“What’re we talking about?” Lucy bounded up to them, all smiles. “Did you see all my Halloween stuff? Look at this, I couldn’t find it for years and it’s so great!” She picked up a jack-o-lantern toy and twisted the knob at the bottom. It started singing in a tinny voice “Let’s Give ‘Em Pumpkin to Talk About.”

“That’s hilarious, Luce,” Jesse told her, and she beamed.

“That’s … something,” Kate attempted.

Lucy grabbed the knob on the pumpkin and it abruptly stopped singing. “Kate, do you not like Halloween?”

“I’m gonna go, um … somewhere else.” And Jesse was gone in a few quick strides of his long legs.

“No, it’s not that I don’t like Halloween, I just don’t do much for it, I guess,” Kate explained, trying to erase the unimpressed look in Lucy’s eyes. “It wasn’t really my kind of holiday growing up so it never occurred to me to do a lot as an adult.”

“So do you do anything?”

“I answer there door for the trick-or-treaters in my building.”

“Do you watch a scary movie or something while you’re waiting for them?”

“No, I, uh. I mostly do paperwork.”

Lucy bit her lip. “So I guess you don’t want me decorating the apartment, huh?”

“I’m just not used to it. But it’s your apartment now too. If you love Halloween, you should get to express that.”

“How about a compromise,” Lucy offered. “I pick a couple things to put up, you get like three vetos if you really don’t like something. How do you feel about dressing up?”

“Not good. But I could do a movie.”

“Okay, great. And I love handing out candy to kids and seeing their costumes, and we didn’t get a lot of trick-or-treators in my last building.”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem in mine. I usually get about forty, give or take.”

“Cool. That wasn’t so hard. Sounds like a great Halloween.” She stretched up on her toes to give Kate a quick kiss. “So do you want me to put up a black cat with multicolored LED lights or a mummy that sings ‘Thriller.’”

“Veto.”

[yaxinqs]

if i hadn't seen anything on the jp translation (THANK YOU @hirayaea) i probably wouldn't have looked into it like this but now i have to give my 2 cents on the chinese interview question regarding this; it may be a huge reach but i love reading inbetween the lines and interpreting like this

it's a bit long so i'll put a line break here.

★ disclaimer: mandarin chinese is not my first language and aside from self-study, i usually only use it in a casual context. i'm probably bound to make mistakes (especially for something this "long") so if you spot anything don't hesitate to tell me !!

anyway: in chinese the wording for expressing "possessiveness" is almost the same as japanese — i will still elaborate on it so we have some better context (and to feed a few delusions, HEAR ME OUT)

“占有欲强的人” (translated as "possessive"):

占有 (zhànyǒu) a verb meaning "own", "possess" or even "occupy"

欲 (yù) a noun or verb that can mean "desire", but sometimes also "greed" or even "lust"

强 (a polyphone) has different pronounciations and meanings:

qiáng — as an adjective: "strong", "powerful", as an adverb: "by force"

qiǎng — as a verb: "to make an effort" or "to strive", but also "to force" (like the adverb above!)

jiàng — as an adjective: "stubborn" or "unyielding"

的 (de) is a particle used to modify nouns: to indicate possession or to connect an attribute to a noun

人 (rén) a noun meaning person

so “占有欲强的人” can be interpreted as "a person with a strong desire to own" — but the several meanings of 强 leave a lot of room for extremely unhinged intepretations especially if you are a dark xavier enjoyer

★ if you try hard enough you could interpret it as "someone who wants to own by force" for example

due to the meaning of these characters it's also kind of bordering on something akin to "control freak" and not just "possessiveness" in my opinion

i also find that in the question itself they don't quite specify a romantic relationship in chinese

because it has been a hot minute since i read the interview i thought they would've used 恋爱 (liàn'ài) to say "relationship" which is equivalent to the japanese 恋愛 (ren'ai) since it's kanji

after checking again, they used “在感情中”:

在 (zài) a preposition that can mean "in"

感情 (gǎnqíng) a noun that is used to describe a romantic relationship OR a noun referring to emotions and feelings especially regarding other people

中 (zhōng) a noun that means "center" or "middle" but can also be used as "during"

so while "in a relationship" is a correct translation for the entire thing, i find the interpretation "when having feelings for someone" very interesting

not only does it make the "degree" of possessiveness a bit spicier 👀 especially considering the meaning of the characters used to describe "possessiveness" which i rambled about above — it also fits very well if we take xavier's behavior in chapter 8 etc. into account

★ his reply is also similar to the jp translation,a simple “嗯” (ǹg or ǹ, èn) which expresses agreement equivalent to "uh-huh" or "m-hm" which makes it even better

in conclusion xavier really is a wolf in sheep's clothing if you look close enough and it has me kicking my feet

English version

BUT ARE YOU THE POSSESIVE ONE IN A RELATIONSHIP?

Xavier: Mmm.

Japanese version

セイヤさんは何に対しても動じない感じがしますが、 恋愛において独占欲はありますか。

セイヤ: ああ。

Seiya-san, nothing seems to faze you, but when it comes to (romantic) love are you possessive?

Seiya: Yeah.

/

this is why jp xavier kills me he just straight up admits it!!!

and it’s with confidence, without missing a beat, and in the next question the interviewer tries to confirm like “how do you act?” and he just says “that’s not important for you to know”

SEIYA WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS giving me a heart attack

/

source: YouTube interviews

translation by: me

[leiakenobi]

To You, I Can Admit [1/1]

Fandom: Star Wars Pairing: Poe Dameron/GN!Reader Rating: Teen Word Count: 1.3k words Summary: Today you killed a man for the first time. Warnings: General angst, vague discussion of death and war; I also vaguely allude to the reader vomiting, so heads up for that if it might give you the ick A/N: I really listened to "Sweet Nothing" by Ms. TSwift, said, "I should write a Poe fic based on this!" and then zeroed in on the line, "To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it" and elaborated on it in the most emo way possible. Anyway hi I know it’s been like two and a half months since my last reader fic but here's This I guess.

Cross-posted to AO3 here!

——

There was never a question of you joining up with the Resistance.

Of course your parents raised you hoping that you wouldn’t have to, hoping that the Rebellion had done its job and the galaxy was safe. If not forever, then at least for now. Long enough for you to live a happy life. But the first whispers of the First Order began to spread—amongst their Rebel friends, and then further, and then…

And then yeah. There was never a question that you would follow in their footsteps.

You’re damn proud of it, every time you see some new recruit’s expression change the first time they hear your name. Your parents might not be General Organa, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, but they were heroes in their own right and every day you spend on the base is a day that you’re all too aware of their legacy. And most days, there’s nothing oppressive about it.

But today…

Today.

Today you killed a man for the first time, and it’s left you feeling like they don’t deserve to have their legacy sullied by you, after all.

For hours, you can’t quite put your finger on why. Because your squad commends you for acting so fast, they question whether you all would have gotten out of there unscathed if you hadn’t been so quick and precise with the trigger, they express their gratitude over and over and over… All while you’re moving through the world with your head pounding and a ringing in your ears as you remember the look in his eyes in the moment before it happened.

No sooner have you crossed the threshold to your quarters than you see Poe peering around the kitchenette, a smile spreading across his face as you come into view. “Hey, I heard you were back! I was trying to make you something before you finished the debrief. How was the mission?”

You stare at him vacantly for a long beat before turning sharply to rush into the fresher. Your knees have barely hit the hard floor when you begin to retch.

You don’t hear Poe move – you don’t hear much of anything for about thirty seconds, given what you’re doing – but as you wipe at your mouth with the back of your hand, you refocus and feel his hand on your back, rubbing small circles and pressing ever so gently.

“That bad, huh?” he offers.

In spite of yourself, you let out a fractured laugh. “No, it was a great day.”

When you chance a look at Poe, he’s giving you a small, careful smile, which you do earnestly reciprocate before shifting on the floor to lean against the door of the sonic. And it’s there, with the weight of the door keeping you up, that you tilt your head back and groan. “Maybe I’m not cut out for this, babe.”

Poe’s shifted now to press his hand over yours on your thigh, and his touch is gentle again; he doesn’t even move to truly hold your hand until you interlace your fingers between his. It takes several seconds of silence before he squeezes. “We’ve all screwed up a few times, you know. Hell, the general would probably tell you that I’ve screwed up more than a few times.”

You purse your lips in amusement, though your gaze is focused more on the wall than on Poe. “That’s the thing. I didn’t screw up, not if you ask my squad. Or General Organa. They all said that I did exactly the right thing.”

“Oh.” Poe hesitates. “Then I think you’re gonna have to give me a little bit more to work off of, here.”

“I’m trying,” you tell him softly.

He holds your hand, and waits, and lets you try, until: “I took a life today, Poe. And he was about to kill Oshe, I was just…” You inhale a shaky breath. “I was doing what I had to do, but I hate myself for it anyway. All I can think about is how scared he looked, the second before… before I…”

For a moment, you feel as though you might need to vomit again, although you choke back the impulse this time with no real trouble.

“Was he First Order?” Poe’s thumb is rubbing softly over the back of your hand, and you’re not sure whether he’s doing it on purpose but it sure as hell is making it easier for you to put words to the things that are racing through your head—the things that have been racing through your head since it happened. “A smuggler?”

You nod. “First Order, yeah. An officer at a checkpoint. And all I’ve been able to think about is that maybe he actually supported the First Order, but maybe he was brainwashed or blackmailed. Maybe he had a family, Poe. And even if he didn’t, even if he was every bit the monster that the worst First Order officers are…”

Poe exhales slowly. “You still killed him.”

“I still killed him,” you confirm. “But hey, this is the Resistance, right? What are we at the end of the day, if not soldiers? And soldiers need to be prepared for things like this.”

“You don’t mean that,” he murmurs.

He’s right, of course he is—he’s lain awake with you through the night before multiple missions as you’ve fretted over how dangerous they were and the prospect of potentially having to cross some lines that you’ve had yet to cross, for the sake of protecting yourself, or the Resistance, or both. And more than once, on those late nights, you’d asked him—

Why does doing the right thing for the galaxy mean having to make decisions that no one should have to make?

“No, I don’t mean it.” You turn your head to meet Poe’s gaze, and for just a moment, your heart stops over how tenderly he’s watching you. “I still feel like maybe I’m not cut out to be here, though. I don’t know whether I’ll be able to do it again when the time comes.”

Because you know, at your core, that it is when. There is no if.

And Poe doesn’t dispute it either. In fact, all he does say, at first, is, “I don’t know whether you’ll know one way or the other until you have to. But that’s okay. If you believe in the Resistance, you’re cut out to be here. And unless I’m wrong, I think that means you’re in the right place.”

You give him a skeptical look. “Does that even mean much? After being raised like we were.”

“Oh, yeah?” An amused smile plays at his lips. “You think either of us would be able to stand by and let the First Order take over the galaxy if our parents weren’t Rebels?”

Well. When he puts it like that, it does sound a little silly.

“No, I don’t,” you concede.

Poe’s knees creak and he lets out a low groan as he slowly rises to his feet, and when he reaches out a hand to help you up, you take it. You let him pull you into a hug and your eyes fall shut as he murmurs, “I know that doesn’t make it any easier.”

Yes, that’s the thing: you know he does. You know he understands better than most, what a difficult position you’re in.

So you squeeze him tight for several long, wonderful seconds before asking, “Need any help with dinner?”

“You sure? I can finish up if you wanna watch a vid or something.”

Pulling out of his arms, you quirk an eyebrow at Poe. “Are you trying to make me take it easy, flyboy?”

“Never.”

“That’s what I thought.” You reach up to straighten the collar of his shirt where it’s folded over on itself, and it fills you with warmth to see how automatically he leans into your touch and how much his expression softens. “Maybe I’ll just sit with you and you can tell me how your day went, how does that sound?”

He hums. “Is that what you want?”

“Mhm.”

With the utmost tenderness, he leans in to press a kiss to your cheek. “Then that sounds perfect.”

Yes—yes, you think it does.

——

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[stardustincarnate]

HEADCANON ━━━ when their s/o is arachnophobic.

genre : a tad bit of humor.

characters included : light, l, misa, near, minoru, mikami.

- "Uhm.. Light.."

- Slightly annoyed by the fact that you had just disturbed his train of thoughts, he looked up and asked noncommittally, "What?"

- "There's a spider.. in your bathroom.. And I gotta pee.."

- Hells, what? He hastily strode towards the bathroom, stopping and internally panicking once he saw how humongous it was. Several gangly legs... Eugh. Spiders had always disturbed him.

- But he had to do it. Just think, what could possibly be lamer than the god of the new world being terrified of spiders? That would tarnish his reputation. No kidding.

- Light took the broom from the side and carefully shooed the spider off the walls while you slouched behind him and held his shoulders, screaming everytime the creature got near you.

- Some time later, you lost sight of the spider.

- "[Y/N], where is it?"

- "I don't kn -- oh my gosh!!!"

- "What is it?"

- "It's on your head!"

- What the fu -- okay, calm down, Light. You can do this. You've killed plenty of the bad guys before. This is merely a spider.

- '[Y/N].. The predicament you put me into... I swear you will not get away with this.'

- He's utterly spooked, but he was still preserving his image, so it took quite a while to get the abomination off himself. He looked like he just finished an intense tennis match by then.

- "Thanks.. Light."

- "Huh? Yeah."

- Some time later...

- Was that spiders written on top of a page in the death note? Ryuk cackled. He wondered if he could blackmail Light using that to give him more apples...

- "Ryuzaki! You gotta see this, please!"

- "This better be important for me to be disturbed in the middle of a case."

- You took him in front of the comfort room and pointed at the door. He saw no significance in there and decided to walk away. You immediately pulled him back and pointed at the door again.

- "What? You want me to watch as you take a dump?"

- "No! Look, there's a spider!"

- "I am aware. What? It's just a spider. It's not gonna kill you."

- "I need you to get rid of it!"

- L almost rolled his eyes, looking very uninterested in helping you.

- "Okay fine! I'll give you whatever sweets you want if you get rid of it for me."

- Okay, that seemed fair. Besides...

- He sauntered closer to the door and lifted his arms. The lanky creature crawled on him. He looked okay with it. Too okay.

- For the sake of his own entertainment, also because he disliked you disturbing him, he raised the arm with the spider on it towards you. You hastily went in the comfort room and shut the door on his face.

- He kept that spider for future uses.

- Uh-oh. There was a spider. You needed someone to get rid of it, but the only one around was your girlfriend, who's just as arachnophobic as you are.

- You just vacantly stared at the bathroom door and waited for the spider to miraculously disappear.

- Eventually, Misa showed up because she needed to take a shower.

- "[Y/N]? What are you doing? Are you gonna use the bathroom?"

- "Yes.. But.." You pointed to the abomination lurking near the doorknob. Misa squealed and hid behind you.

- "Kyahh! Get rid of it!"

- "Me?! Get rid of it?! No, you do it!"

- "But I'm scared!"

- "So am I!"

- After a long moment of silence, you sighed and suggested, "Let's just get rid of it together. Get the brooms."

- Misa looked even more spooked, but she didn't have much of a choice. The spider wasn't gonna get rid of itself. She took two long brooms and you both began to sweep the eight-legged creature away in a careful distance.

- There was so much noise and everything had eventually become chaotic.

- "AHH! IT'S CRAWLING TOWARDS ME! [Y/N]!!!"

- You screamed yourself as you began sweeping it away from her, but the little shit decided to crawl on your broom instead. You immediately dropped it and scrammed out of the house. Misa followed, also screaming. The neighbors were greatly alarmed.

- "Near... I need your help.."

- "What's the matter?" He said, attention fixed solely on the cards that he was stacking.

- "There's a spider in the bathroom..."

- "What of it?" He asked noncommittally, though he already knew what you were going to say.

- "I need you to get rid of it. Please."

- You feverishly walked to and front. You couldn't hold back any longer. Near looked like he'd rather eat glass, but okay. He wasn't that heartless.

- "Stephen." He called urgently. The latter sauntered towards him and asked what the matter was.

- "There's a spider in the bathroom. Please get rid of it quickly. [Y/N] is about to explode."

- Stephen headed straight to the bathroom, followed by you, and grabbed the spider to relocate it elsewhere. Finally, time for you to break free.

- "Minoru. Help me." You texted your boyfriend. He asked what the matter was but you did not elaborate and only told him to come to your house asap.

- He was worried upon seeing your panic-stricken face. He thought of the worse case scenarios -- and then you took him to the bathroom where a huge spider was stuck on the ceiling.

- He so regretted coming.

- "Oi oi oi! Where do you think you're going?"

- "Back home? No thanks, I don't like spiders."

- "Neither do I!"

- "Then why should I be the one to get rid of it?"

- "Because no one else is home and I've been holding my dump for thirty minutes. You gotta help me!"

- His face fell. He didn't have much of choice, he was there anyway, so he sighed and picked up a broom. In a safe distance, he very gently shooed the spider away lest it falls on his hair.

- There were lots of unnecessary squeaks.

- Thank goodness, the spider had finally fallen. Exactly in the open toilet. Just as planned. Minoru didn't think twice of flushing it.

- You really didn't want to bother your busy boyfriend, but you had enough. You've been seeing the same spider for lurking inside the house for weeks now. Teru gave it no heed as it grew bigger. Then it got into your room. That took the last straw.

- "It's only a spider [Y/N]. It's not like it's gonna kill you."

- "You don't understand. The way that thing moves its leg is enough to give me heart attack! I can't sleep knowing that thing might crawl on my face as it pleases. It's so creepy! Why does it even look like that? Get rid of it, please."

- Well that was mean. Teru clicked his tongue. No point of trying to convince you that it's harmless. He sighed and took a chair, standing on it to get the spider which then crawled on his arm. He looked far too calm in your opinion. You backed away from him.

- He opened the windows and set the creature free, immediately closing it afterwards. Though he was pretty sure that it would come back sooner or later.

[edendaphne]

“Discordant Sonata” Chapter 21

>>Click here to read on Ao3<<

>>Click here to read on Wattpad<<

–––––

CHAPTER 21: IMPROVVISANDO

Music glossary: Improvvisando: with improvisation

Glossary: Wǎnshàng hǎo : Good evening Shīfù : Teacher/Master

(Mood music: Night of Beijing - Jia Peng Fang)

That evening

Marinette fidgeted with her napkin, occasionally sipping her now-lukewarm tea while sitting at the kitchen bar counter. Chat Noir sat on the stool beside her in silence, also nursing a half-emptied cup. She checked the clock for what seemed to be the hundredth time in the last few minutes.

“It’s about that time. I’ll head up to my room to let Ladybug inside. Will you get the door if your visitor arrives before she does?”

“Sure,” he replied, uneasy but compliant, doing his best to avoid staring at the black eye she’d received earlier that day.

Marinette set her cup in the sink and headed upstairs, leaving Chat alone with his thoughts.

He tried to keep his fast-beating heart in check, subconsciously clenching his jaw. It was finally happening. He was going to meet “him”: The Guardian of the Miraculous.

Following the events at school earlier that day, Adrien had walked Marinette to her house, where her family invited him to stay for a cup of tea until his “ride” arrived to pick him up. Of course, he’d eagerly accepted. It was nice to interact with the family as Adrien instead of just as Chat Noir.

After leaving, he hid away and transformed so he could sneak in through Marinette’s balcony as he usually did.

Upon transforming, however, he found a series of voice mails from Ladybug that she’d left during Adrien’s attempted abduction. Her voice was frantic. He could hear the urgency and distress in her tone, and a heavy blanket of guilt settled onto his shoulders as he listened.

The first message asked him to come to their school, that it was an emergency, to please call her back as soon as possible. He chewed on his lip, wanting nothing more than to hide away in a cave in shame.

The second one must have been left right after she’d rescued Adrien and left him at the school nurse; she’d called to let Chat know the incident had passed. Then she asked if he was okay, since she hadn’t heard back from him. He sighed. Typical Ladybug, always worrying and thinking about others first, even when she was having a rough time.

The last voicemail caused a trail of ice to trickle down his spine as he listened. Ladybug informed him that she had scheduled an impromptu meeting with the Guardian at the Dupain-Cheng’s house that evening, with Marinette’s permission, and that it was of utmost importance that he attend.

He shivered as goosebumps appeared on his arms and he swallowed hard. What was the purpose of this meeting? Was he in trouble for not showing up today during ‘Adrien’s’ kidnapping? And why meet here, at the Dupain home, instead of somewhere more private and away from civilians? What was the Guardian like? Would Chat get reprimanded and treated with disdain for having been their enemy for all these years, or would he be understanding and forgiving?

More importantly, would he have to disclose his identity to him, or to both him and Ladybug, to prove his loyalty? He winced at the mere thought of it. The last thing he wanted was for Ladybug to think less of him, or to pity him. Especially after the kidnapping attempt.

Additionally, if they were to learn that Hawkmoth was Gabriel Agreste, would they want to confront him head-on? Adrien didn’t feel ready for that, for several reasons.

First of all, would he be able to protect Ladybug, as he’d promised her? Hawkmoth had shown that he’d developed some sort of new power. Either that, or an entirely different person had become involved and was helping him. In any case, he didn’t know what exactly they were dealing with anymore.

Secondly, if the time came and he had to hurt or even kill his father, he didn’t know if he’d be able to do it. Yes, Gabriel was a monster and Adrien despised what he had become. But what if the damage was reversible and there was still a way to bring him back to normal? He just had to know, before doing something he might permanently regret.

The sudden ringing of the doorbell startled Chat out of his thoughts and he practically fell off his seat.

He ran to answer the front door, looking to make sure no one else was around. At the last second, he remembered to detransform and slip on the hood of his zip-up sweater (the one Marinette had gifted him), pulling a scarf over his nose and mouth so he wouldn’t be recognized if anyone outside were to catch a glimpse of him.

He looked out through the peephole, only to see the very top of someone’s head, balding with grey hair, and a little bit of their eyebrows.

Huh. Somehow Adrien thought the Guardian would be a bit… taller?

He turned the knob and the door opened, its squeaking hinges somehow louder than usual. Peeking out from the side like a scared tortoise, he checked to make sure the individual matched the description he was given, then stepped back to allow the door to swing open all the way. The older man stepped inside, closing it behind him.

“Hello,” Adrien said meekly, bowing his head slightly. “You must be…”

“Yes. I am Wang Fu,” he replied, bowing politely in greeting. “It is very good to see you again, Adrien Agreste.”

While Adrien’s face scarf efficiently concealed the way his jaw dropped when the elder man called him by name, there was no hiding the way his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.

“W- what?!” he sputtered. “How did you—”

The man called Fu chuckled, stroking his beard. “It was a long time ago, but we’ve met before.”

Adrien lowered his scarf and frowned in concentration, falling silent for a few seconds. Then it dawned on him.

“YOU!!” he gaped. “I do remember you! It was my first day of lycée! You fell down in front of our school and I helped you up. It was you who put the cat miraculous in my bag that day, wasn’t it?”

“That is correct,” Fu confirmed.

“But why me? You could’ve picked anyone, so why did you choose someone like me?”

Fu’s smile faltered when he said this. Adrien had said “anyone”, but he could see that Fu knew what he’d actually meant. Why did you choose someone as broken as me?

The man folded his arms behind him, considering his answer. “Guardians are bestowed with several powers and abilities. One of them is to locate and select good candidates for the miraculous jewels. And so I was led to you.”

Chat grimaced in confusion. “So if you already knew it was me, why bother to ‘test’ me?”

“My powers as a guardian may lead me to a potential candidate, but ultimately the choice is still mine to make. It was a simple test, but it showed me what your first instinct would be if you saw someone in need. The answer I received was satisfactory. You were meant to be Ladybug’s Chat Noir.”

Adrien sighed, running a shaky hand through his hair. “Honestly, a couple of months ago I wouldn’t have known whether to hug you because I got to become Chat Noir, or whether to punch you because I had to become Chat Noir. But it’s because of you that I got to meet Ladybug, so I am grateful to you for that. It’s good to finally meet you. Officially.”

He extended his hand and Fu took it with a smile, giving it a firm shake.

Afterwards, Adrien’s gaze fell, brows scrunching together. “I can’t believe it. All this time, you knew. You could’ve told Ladybug who I was years ago. She could have figured out a way to take away my miraculous while I wasn’t transformed, like at school, and she would’ve had one less enemy to deal with. It would’ve––” he pursed his lips, expression full of shame, and he lifted his eyes to meet Fu’s once again, “–it would’ve made it easier for her. She would’ve suffered less if I’d been out of the picture. So why didn’t you?”

Fu’s countenance became somber, his eyes carrying years of pain and regret. He took a few moments to consider his words. “When I was a boy, barely a teenager, something terrible happened. Hundreds of innocent people died, and it was all because of me.”

Chat almost reeled back as if he’d been smacked across the face, puzzled about the sudden switch in topic. He remembered Ladybug briefly mentioning this a few months ago, on the night they danced together. He waited for Fu to elaborate.

“I was only trying to protect them,” the older man explained. “After I was orphaned as a child, the monks of the Guardian Temple took me in. They became my family. They were stern, but fair and kind. It was a tough childhood, but I was happy.” He sighed. “However, there were those who would try to steal the miraculous and use their power selfishly. It was an endless struggle. Many were lost over the years. I longed for peace. I wanted my family to be safe, I wanted us to be left alone. So I did what I thought would be a better route, an easier one; one with less hardship and bloodshed. You see, one day while I was supposed to be on guard duty, I sneaked away to where the miraculous box was kept. I put on both the ladybug and cat miraculouses and used them to make a wish: I wished that our enemies would disappear.”

The older man exhaled, squeezing his eyes shut, the memories of what came next clearly still haunting him. Adrien couldn’t help but hold his breath while he listened.

“It worked,” Fu resumed, voice quiet and slightly shaky. “But as you might have suspected, there is always a price to pay; a balance that must be maintained. Therefore, because of my wish, all the monks in our Guardian temple and the innocent people of the surrounding village were ripped away from me, along with our enemies. The wish was technically fulfilled, but I never suspected that the cost would be that high. I have had to live with that in my conscience for over a hundred years.”

He clasped his hands behind his back, appearing more vulnerable than Adrien would have ever expected. He continued, “Since that time, I have both seen and caused much death in my lifetime, protecting the miraculous box alone as the last Guardian. So, you see, if there was even one person I could save, I had to try. I wanted to trust in the miraculouses, like I should have decades ago, during my misguided attempt to control the outcome of a complicated situation.”

Adrien absently rubbed his arm, pondering Fu’s words. “Looking back,” he began, “I can see the reasoning behind a lot of Ladybug’s decisions and principles, now that I know your story.”

“Indeed. Ladybug is a remarkable young lady; I knew that even back then. When I would ask her if she was willing to risk her life for the sake of a stranger, she would say yes, every single time. If anyone can persevere for the greater good, it was her. Was it unfair of me? Probably. Have I asked too much from her? Absolutely. Have I made mistakes while trying to guide her? Yes. Many of them.” He put his hand on Adrien’s shoulder. “I wanted to save you that day by giving you the cat miraculous. But I never would have guessed that it would also doom you and force you into a role of servitude. I hope that you will forgive me for this.”

Adrien’s heart pained for Fu as he admitted his guilt. “You couldn’t have known it would’ve turned out that way. It wasn’t your fault,” he insisted.

Fu shrugged. “I try to tell myself that, but I can’t quite convince myself. The situation made sense once Ladybug told me about Hawkmoth.”

“You mean, when she told you that Hawkmoth was my father?” Adrien asked.

“Yes,” Fu replied. “I had my suspicions, because it would explain your motivations, but I had no proof, no way of finding out for sure. It made sense that Hawkmoth would be Gabriel Agreste. The butterfly miraculous requires its wielder to be creative and inventive, since it relies on their ability to convert the subject’s emotions into a source of power. And he had the motivation.”

Adrien hummed in agreement.

“Additionally, such a clever and talented individual getting ahold of the cat miraculous would be incredibly dangerous. I’d be lying if I said I had never considered taking your miraculous away. But even still, it was safer to let it all play out. I didn’t want to repeat past mistakes. And if Hawkmoth was Gabriel Agreste, your fate if you were to lose the cat miraculous would have been disastrous. Maybe it would have even alerted him about the presence of a Guardian in Paris. But now that we know the truth, we can plan accordingly.”

Adrien gulped. So Fu had considered taking his miraculous away before. “A-are you going to tell Ladybug who I am?”

Fu shook his head. “It is not up to me to decide when it will be right for there to be no more secrets between you two. I only know that it is not yet time.”

Adrien curiously tilted his head, brows furrowed in confusion. “How do you know that?”

As Fu started to answer, Adrien heard a doorknob twist open behind him and he quickly pulled his scarf back over his features.

The door opened and Ladybug’s voice exclaimed, “There you are! What are you two doing out here in the entryway?”

Adrien cleared his throat, then stammered, “R-right, pardon my manners. Please, come in.”

Fu walked past him, entering the living area. He took Ladybug’s hands between his, shaking them briefly, and said, “Wǎnshàng hǎo, Ladybug.”

With a small bow, Ladybug replied, “Wǎnshàng hǎo, shīfù. Thank you for coming at such short notice. Please, have a seat.”

Chat entered the room, having transformed now, and stepped forward to greet her.

He stopped short, realizing that he wasn’t quite sure how to greet her since last night’s development in their relationship, not to mention being very conscious of the Guardian watching them. He settled for a hug, which she returned, squeezing him tightly, and added a quick, discreet peck on his cheek. He smiled, feeling his face heat up.

Pleasantries aside and everyone seated, it was Ladybug who spoke first.

“Thank you both for being here. There’s a lot we need to talk about.”

----------

A transformed Wang Fu stood at the bedroom window, curtains drawn, chanting in a language that neither Ladybug nor Chat Noir understood, holding the last of several metallic talismans he’d blessed and scattered around the room. The pair kept their eyes on him, marveling at the efficiency and care that he put into each incantation. There was something sacred, even holy about this ritual. They could feel powerful magic emanating from his form, invisible bursts of energy swirling about the room, dancing all around them in a silent symphony.

Ladybug cast a furtive glance at her partner. He’d been quiet for a little while, after learning about his attempted akumatization the night before. Ladybug had told him that it was Marinette who let her know, and that Plagg was the one who had informed her.

She’d called Master Fu before going to school to let him know what happened last night, and he promised he would figure out a solution. He’d spent all day preparing these special talismans, which would ward off akumas and keep them from entering this room. But only this room. He wasn’t strong enough to cast such a potent, long-term spell over a larger area; especially not at his age.

Fu, or rather, Jade Turtle, was silent for a few moments after placing the last charm, a silver one with indecipherable symbols carved into it, then turned around to face the couple.

“The talismans are almost done being enchanted,” he said, pretty out of breath, beads of sweat present on his brow. “There is one more thing that needs to be done. But I think I’ll need your help for this, Ladybug.”

Ladybug stepped forward in response. “Sure, Master. What is it?”

“I would do it myself, but, well… let’s just say I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“Of course Master, anything you need. Just tell me what to do.”

Fu removed his bracelet, the turtle miraculous, and turned back to his civilian self, then handed the jewelry to her. His kwami, Wayzz, floated next to them awaiting instruction.

“If you could transform with my miraculous to finish the protection spell, I’d very much appreciate it. I’ll show you what to do when you’re ready.”

The young woman gaped at him, having never transformed into any hero other than Ladybug before.

“Oh! R-really?? S-sure! No problem...” She took the bracelet hesitantly, studying it like she’d never seen it before, then excused herself to the ensuite for privacy.

In the bathroom, Ladybug detransformed and removed her earrings, handing them to Tikki for safekeeping. She put on the emerald stone bracelet, staring at it as if it might try to crawl away from her if she wasn’t careful enough.

She squeezed her eyes shut in preparation. “Wayzz, shell on.”

Jade green light shone around the bathroom, and Marinette felt the magic of the turtle miraculous engulf her form. When it passed, she gulped and opened her eyes, lifting them to the mirror to catch a glimpse of her newly transformed self.

“Whoa.”

The heroine stared at her reflection across the way. She ran her fingers over the various bits of fabric and armor, taking the time to appreciate the feel and texture. Somehow, she felt quite powerful. Tough. Solid. Almost like a sentient brick wall.

“Wow, Marinette! You look incredible!” Tikki whispered to her.

“Aww, thank you Tikki,” she replied. “It feels so different, but it’s also really cool.”

Sparing one last glance into the mirror, she finally emerged from the bathroom. Fu was seated at the desk chair across the room, taking a short breather. Chat was speaking to him in hushed tones, but turned around when he heard her re-enter the bedroom.

His jaw dropped and he gasped.

“Oh my God, you’re adorable!” Chat blurted out. He caught himself and turned tomato red, then stuttered, “Umm! S-sorry, I––”

Ladybug (Lady...turtle??) giggled, stepping forward to stand beside him once again. “Thanks,” she replied shyly, reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear as she usually did when she was nervous, but her hand bumped into her suit’s hood instead. Not quite sure what to do with her hands, she folded them in front of her as she awaited further instruction.

Tikki flew in front of Master Fu, bowing her head in greeting. “It’s good to see you again, Master!”

“Likewise. I hope you are doing well,” he greeted back.

Tikki flew over to Chat Noir, to say hello to him as well. “Hello, Chat Noir! It’s nice to formally meet you,” she chirped happily.

Chat beamed and answered, “Tikki, right? It’s great to finally meet you too! I must admit, you look a little different than I thought you would.”

Tikki giggled. “Did you think I’d be more insect-like? Maybe with six legs and an exoskeleton?”

Chat shrugged timidly. “Well, I mean… Maybe…?” ‘Ladybug’ and Tikki looked at each other and snickered at his reply.

Fu smiled at their interactions fondly, recalling times spent with loved ones, allies no longer here. With a small grunt, he stood up to continue the protection ritual.

“This way, Ladybug. Chat Noir and Tikki, please stand over there; we’ll need a bit of space for this. You might feel a bit tired once this is finished, so be sure to get plenty of rest tonight,” he instructed.

Tikki perched on Chat’s shoulder as he moved towards the edge of the room. They spoke in hushed voices as Fu instructed Ladybug and had her repeat phrases from his notes.

While they waited, Chat turned to Tikki and whispered, “By the way, I wanted to thank you... for helping Ladybug and keeping safe all these years. She means a lot to me.”

If kwamis could blush, Chat was sure that’s what Tikki’s face showed at the moment. “It’s been a pleasure to be her kwami. She’s the best! I’m glad you’ve gotten to know her and see what a sweet person she is.”

Chat smiled, cheeks dusted pink. “I am too.”

------

Many minutes passed, and Ladybug and Fu finished casting the protection ward. Chat helped Fu gather his things as Ladybug excused herself to transform back to her regular hero self.

As she re-emerged from the bathroom, Chat handed her a glass of water and invited her to sit on the bed so she could catch her breath and gather back some of her energy. “Welcome back, Lily-bug,” he greeted her with a wink. Ladybug beamed at him, accepting the water and taking a seat next to him.

Fu stood beside them, having finished gathering his belongings in a satchel. As he gave Ladybug time to rest, he asked, “Do either of you have any questions about the protection ritual, or about anything else?”

Ladybug replied, “I actually do have some questions, sir.”

Fu nodded.

“Master... why did Hawkmoth attempt to akumatize Chat Noir last night? If he’s tried it before, why did he not succeed during other nights?” Ladybug’s questions came faster once she got started. “Since he tried to akumatized Chat, does that mean he knows where he lives now? Is Chat even safe here anymore? What about the Dupains? Are they gonna be okay? How much does Hawkmoth know?”

Chat looked at Fu expectantly, realizing that he, too, had those same questions.

Fu replied, “The owner of the butterfly miraculous sends out his butterflies in search of a specific strong emotion, but is not aware of their location until after the host accepts it. He is able to learn some vague details about why they are feeling that certain emotion. My guess is that he was able to locate him while he was having a nightmare. So, no. He does not know that Chat Noir lives here. His powers have limitations, just like you do with yours. He is more powerful since he is older and more experienced, but even he can’t overextend the capabilities of his miraculous.”

He paused, stroking his beard, and contemplated. Then he asked, “Did something happen last night to make your emotions different from what they normally are?”

Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at each other, blushing furiously, stammering as they attempted to answer without divulging too much unnecessary information.

Fu raised an eyebrow, then chuckled knowingly, raising his hands to stop them. “It’s okay, I don’t need to know the details.”

“Umm! I-it’s not what you think!”

“M-master, don’t misunderstand–”

“Y-you see–”

“What happened was…”

“My guess is–” Fu interrupted, “–That Hawkmoth sensed your great joy last night, and became enraged. He couldn’t stand the thought of you being happy because it would mean that he is in the wrong, and his pride won’t allow him to accept that.”

Chat and Ladybug fell silent, looking downcast, as the explanation both made sense yet was immensely disheartening.

“There’s something else, Master,” Ladybug spoke again. “Something happened at school today. Akumas, but they vanished without a trace. I mentioned it to you earlier today over the phone. Have you ever heard of such a thing?”

“Ah, yes. And all that remained was two white feathers?” Fu asked.

“That’s right. Could the akumas still be out there because they haven’t been purified?”

Fu shook his head. “Allow me to explain. Firstly, as Ladybug already knows, two of the miraculouses in my box went missing when the temple of the guardians was destroyed: the butterfly and the peacock. One of them fell into Hawkmoth’s hands sometime within the last few years. But after hearing about what happened at the school today, we can now confirm that Hawkmoth is currently in possession of not just one, but of both of them. Either that, or he has someone else working under him.”

“The Peacock… of course!” Ladybug gasped, voice filled with dread.

Chat looked at her, then back at Fu, waiting for him to elaborate.

“The Guardian’s Grimoire calls them ‘sentimonsters’, mystical beings created out of thin air using the peacock miraculous, which harnesses the power of emotions. They can be created and destroyed whenever the wielder desires. Usually they are simple creatures, designed to be helpers or perform smaller tasks. However, they can also be more sophisticated, even indistinguishable from other humans, although an enormous amount of energy is required to create these complex sentimonsters. One can even ‘borrow’ the appearance of an already existing person. In this case, Hawkmoth chose not to give the sentimonsters the ability to speak, so they couldn’t divulge their secrets, in the event that they were caught.”

Ladybug shuddered. “What the hell?! That is so creepy.”

“Indeed.” Fu looked over at Chat, who had remained pensive throughout this exchange. “Any thoughts, Chat Noir?”

Chat looked up at him, trying to figure out how to phrase what he wanted to say. “I… I think I remember seeing the peacock miraculous in my father’s safe once. I only caught a glimpse of it; I just thought it was some of my mom’s jewelry he kept as a memento. I had no idea it was a miraculous. Otherwise, I would’ve had Plagg help me break into the safe and taken it with me when I ran away from home. There are so many things my father never told me… I’m sorry I don’t know more.”

Ladybug reached out to hold his hand, giving it a small squeeze, which he returned.

“You’ve done more than you know, believe me,” Fu replied as he unconsciously squeezed his satchel, which contained the electronic tablet where his copy of the Grimoire was stored.

He stuck his hand in his pocket and stepped forward, handing Chat Noir a card with his cell phone number.

“Call me if you have any questions, either of you. Even if it’s the middle of the night. Wayzz will make sure I hear my phone if it rings; he’s a much lighter sleeper than I am.”

“Thank you, Master Fu,” replied Chat, smiling. “And thank you too, Wayzz.”

“Thanks, Wayzz. Thank you, Master.” said Ladybug.

“Also, I must remind you once again that your identities must remain a secret until things settle down. There are negative effects that could happen if you are revealed too soon, and I’m not sure what they could be; but it’s best not to find out.”

Ladybug frowned. “But when will that be, Master? It would be so much easier to be able to communicate without having to transform.”

Fu shrugged helplessly. “I’m afraid I don’t have an answer for that. We must allow things to continue to develop on their own. I'm sure we’ll know when the time is right.”

Ladybug let out a displeased sigh. Chat nodded, glancing away with a worried look in his eyes. Despite Ladybug’s eagerness (and despite his own curiosity), waiting suited him just fine for now.

After saying their goodbyes, Fu left the pair behind and let himself out with a final wave. The two heroes remained in the bedroom, contemplating what had been discussed.

After sitting in silence for a few moments, unsure of what to say next, a lightbulb seemed to light up inside Ladybug’s brain, and she began typing away into her yo-yo communicator. Chat watched curiously, wondering what she was up to.

Moments later, she hopped out of the bed to jot something down onto a sticky note from Chat’s desk, then walked back.

“Just because we can’t tell each other who we are doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be able to contact each other when we’re not transformed. Kwamis aren’t pagers, after all.”

“Pagers? What decade is this, anyway?” Chat razzed.

“Hush, you,” she mock scolded him, suppressing a smile. “ Anyway! Here’s my brand new, Chat Noir-exclusive email address,” she said, handing him the note with a wink.

Chat’s eyes lit up. “Wait, really??” He unfolded the paper as if it was a Christmas present, excited to read the contents. His eyes widened and he burst out laughing.

“ ‘The_gr8_bugaboo@yoohoo.com’ ?!”

“What, you don't think I’m great?” she teased, striking an exaggerated, Chat Noir-style pose.

Chat’s snickering only intensified and he nodded. “Oh, for sure! The greatest!” he agreed.

Ladybug smirked. “I made it just now,” she explained. “So you’re the only one who knows about it. We may not be able to hang out in person yet, but I’d still like to talk to you during the day. Plus, it’ll come in handy for emergencies.”

“Buginette you’re a genius!”

Ladybug giggled, feeling her face warm up despite herself. “M-maybe we can message each other when you have some free time? I mean… now that you don’t have to worry about getting akumatized in your own room anymore. Your bedroom’s pretty much the safest place in Paris now, thanks to Master Fu.”

“And thanks to you, as well, my dear ‘Lily-bug’,” Chat reached up to take her hand, gently pulling her down to sit next to him. “I feel much better already. And knowing I can talk to you anytime makes me feel even safer.”

She scooted closer, setting her head down on his shoulder. “Y-you know… you make me feel safe too, Kitty.”

Chat’s insides twisted into pleasant little knots, suddenly feeling rather warm. “Really?”

He felt her smile as her hand squeezed his arm, her other one sneaking across their laps to wrap her fingers around his own. “Yeah. I know we’ve only been allies for a short time, but I’ve already lost count of all the times you’ve saved me or sacrificed yourself to help others. Our partnership grows stronger every day, and I think Hawkmoth knows it. He knows we’re stronger together. And it’s only a matter of time until we can be together without these masks too, I just know it.”

He turned towards her, putting his fingers under her chin and lifting her head to have her look up at him. Their eyes met, her pupils dilating as they focused on his own, and he could see a bright blush blooming on her cheeks.

“Me too,” he whispered, as he brought their lips together.

She blissfully melted into him, letting out a small noise of contentment. She deepened the kiss, reaching behind his head to caress his hair with her slender fingers. Their kisses and breaths mingled together and they lost track of everything else around them.

A little while later, they faintly heard the grandfather clock striking the hour in the living room, then some noises as the Dupains shuffled upstairs from the bakery to get ready for bed.

Ladybug pulled back and they separated, his lips still tingling from her touch.

“I… I should probably get going soon,” she lamented with a small shrug. “It’s starting to get late.”

“Would you like me to walk you home? Or rather, to somewhere around your neighborhood?”

She shook her head. “That’s not necessary. Besides, I’m closer than you might think,” she added a bit cryptically.

“I wish you could stay,” he said softly, reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear. He gave her nose a tiny smooch. “Just a teeeeensy bit more?” he begged, giving her the best kitten eyes he could muster.

Ladybug giggled shyly, cheeks still dusted with pink. She gave his own nose a peck, her lips soft and inviting. “Well… I guess I could stay just a little bit longer,” she said with a smirk.

“Purr- fect,” he said, capturing her lips once again.

-------------

Note:

Many of the events in the “Volpina” and “Collector” episodes happened in this AU, albeit heavily modified to suit the story. Adrien found the grimoire in his father’s safe, took it out to study it, and Lila stole it. Since Adrien didn’t act impressed about Lila knowing Ladybug, she didn’t magnify the lie and claim to be Ladybug’s best friend; therefore, Ladybug never showed up to call her out on her lie, and Lila was never akumatized.

However, Tikki did see the book in the dumpster and retrieved it, and Marinette showed it to Master Fu. After Gabriel discovered the book was missing and pulled Adrien out of school, Fu made a copy so that Marinette could return it to Gabriel, and Adrien was allowed to attend school again. Currently, Adrien has no idea that this is how Fu acquired his grimoire; he merely assumes that Fu has always had his own copy.

Of course, Marinette began to suspect that Gabriel might be Hawkmoth because he owned the grimoire. Gabriel akumatized himself into the Collector in order to avoid suspicion, and with Chat’s help, almost succeeded in obtaining the ladybug miraculous. Ultimately, Ladybug outsmarted him, got him to accidentally “collect” Chat, and succeeded in purifying his akuma. But by then, Gabriel had “proven” he was an innocent civilian and Ladybug dismissed his potential involvement as Hawkmoth.

----

P.S.  Another note: Certain things that are similar but not identical to canon have been in my outline since the beginning, so I apologize if they're a little confusing (such as the protection talismans being similar to Ladybug's akuma victims' lucky charms or the destruction/disappearance of the Guardian Temple)

[fishareglorious]

i wonder if they're gonna elaborate on semmelweis' friendship with hofmann once she's playable. did they— [LOUD FOGHORN NOISE]

SEMMELWEIS SENMELWEIS SEMMWELSI

she’s on a first-name basis with her.

yuri...?

yeah she did kinda have to fight figuring out what is real and what's the product of the steadily frequent hallucinations caused by her chronic condition that also will kill her in several months time also while fighting the manus and all assorted arcane creatures in echoes in the mountain

ah heinrich....

wait wuh i thought we were in 1914. i think this exchange happened on jan 7 so new year has already passed so...???? im confused

also the storm can pass through the same area and timeline twice. hm. interesting.

she’s so incredibly sarcastic i love her

thats the last thing marcus ever wants to do

where is sonetto’s two star commandment v debuff when you need it...

it was probably bkornblume's two-target attack ngl

hearing her more fascinated and excited than anything angry is so silly of her

marcus: FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT

if greta is the funniest person in vienna rn then kakania takes the place of the silliest billy here. shes such an incredibly fun character i feel sad remembering bluepoch's gonna put her through the emotional and mental wringer later on and into the angst meatgrinder next chapter

admittedly, marcus is very small (5'0 more or less from what i remember?) but you're only two years older than her, lmao. granted, i do treat people younger than me kind of like that so

her udimo is a parrot of course she’s as chatty as one lmfao

the fathersonisms between greta and marcus cannot be understated.

everything hurts in hindsight

aperion’s just a bunch of greek philosophical math weirdo nerds you’re not really missing alot. well except for the whole storm immunity thing ig

ohhhh so thats why aperion was bombed

greta is going to pop a vein she left marcus for almost an hour and now she’s broken like. two rules already

huh. are you sure marcus is of legal drinking age? granted, this is another country in another time so. wait hold on let me look

okay its perfectly fine for marcus to drink wine since the legal drinking age for non-spirit bevarages in austria is sixteen. im assuming that this law goes the same for 1914 austria.

this game makes me search the weirdest questions sometimes

on another line of thought, since her birthday actually happens later on in the story, is marcus sixteen here and turns seventeen on jan 12, or is she currently seventeen and turns eighteen on her birthday? probably the latter case. anyway, moving on.

WHITE WOMAN JUMPSCARE

literally she’s all in white and she’s white

kinda fruity summary

mmmmmmmmm i dont like this. i feel like this is setting itself up for a shitshow.

don't think marcus would ever be ready to actually lose you on her first ever mission.

chapter 4 is the epitome of the foundation politicking getting in the way of the better treatment of arcanists so yeah.

on another thought greta was quite biased negatively against arcanists in her report so i wonder when and how she had a change of heart. or was it just because the whole business of 77 and the manus arcanists raked on her badly that her frustration and prejudices bled through the report

finally playing chapter 6. i'm putting everything under cut for the sake of not spoiling people and because i might go off the shits.

anyways: i'll be bringing up the events that'll happen in the later stages constantly. also will mention chapter 7 (patch 1.9) spoilers in detail so watch out.

isolde on the torture chair once again.

since i like reading up on medical history i am curious a little bit on the actual historical accounts of EST. while im mainly more interested in the realm of epidemiology instead of neurosciences and general psychology stuff i might fall into a deep dive of this topic later lol. who knows.

.... eee. a sad truth.

ehm. not really.

ah were back for the regularly scheduled arcanist discrimination i guess

SLAYYYYY KAKANIA'S HERE

oh. yeah i forgot kakania's a med school dropout with a practice that's definitely not legal.

can't. hold schwartz against that sigmund freud was a... weird guy. especially with his oedipus complex thing

we back on laplace. also what the fuck is up with these guys. didn't matilda and sotheby run into one of of them covered in weird slime in The Star

MANUS MASKS????!!! WHAT THE FUCK STOP EXPERIMENTING WITH MANUS GOOP!??!?!!!

FUCK. IS THAT WHY PEOPLE STARTED TURNING INTO MANUS MONSTERS IN CHAP 7.

STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW.

the forehead slap i just did can be heard all the way down the marinara ocean. like fuck offffffffffffff. luc's such a funny bastard she has the most serious robotic voice yet she does stupid comedic shit like this. i love you you funny tin woman

... at the expense of the majority of your staff? god with my knowledge on chapter 7 im constantly going 😬 here not going to lie.

!!!????? HE SHOVED A BALLPOINT INTO HIS EYE???? OH MY FUCKING GOD?

i kindave feel for medpoc if I was them i would be biting the shit out of lucy right now in utter frustration of her callousness

an unfortunate nickname for them, but that's semmelweis' team!

all we know from echoes in the mountain's story has set up quite some of the happenings for this chapter.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s Long Journey Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 长旅之约, which has not been released in EN! 🍒

[ This date was released on 8 July 2021 ]

Deers rest peacefully beside me, and birds caw from the branches.

All of a sudden, a rustling sound of flapping wings disrupts the peace in the forest.

Smiling subconsciously while tilting my head upwards, a gigantic griffin descends from the sky.

MC: Welcome back, Griffy! Have you been eating and sleeping well?

I walk up to it, burying my face in the griffin’s fluffy chest fur, letting out a happy sigh.

??: You’re only welcoming it?

The voice I’m most familiar with drifts from the griffin’s back. After that, a figure leaps down smoothly.

MC: Gavin, welcome home!

With a turn of my face, I smile while giving him a wave.

Gavin is wearing simple and informal clothes. However, the extraordinary way he carries himself and the exquisite crown on his forehead could only belong to a prince.

He bows before me in a teasing manner, handing me a small bag. Even without opening it, I can smell the fragrance of pastries.

Gavin: Goddess of Nature, I bring you this round of offerings. But stop sharing them with these animals. They’ve put on weight again.

MC: They’re only cute when they’re round and plump.

I retort, unconvinced. Even so, I pinch the squirrel on my shoulder, placing it back onto the tree.

MC: I have also mentioned that you don’t have to bring me any offerings. The person who made the agreement with me was your mother, and I've already accepted sufficient offerings from her.

Despite what I said, I open the little bag that Gavin gave me, grinning while taking out the pastries.

As a deity, I’m basically adept in everything within my own forest. However, I lack the skills and abilities to bake such snacks.

As such, I’m exceptionally happy whenever he brings me such food.

While eating, I continue speaking with unclear articulation.

MC: When your mother came to the forest that year with a jewel which had been passed down from generation to generation, as well as her crown your deity father once gave her...

Gavin: With those items as offerings, she hoped that you’d become my guardian deity who would keep me safe and train me till I became a passable king.

When deities accept human offerings, they reciprocate by bestowing blessings onto humans. This way, a wonderful transactional relationship is formed.

Back then, a queen had brought her son of around fourteen or fifteen years of age to my forest.

That elegant and dignified lady was smiling, but there was faint worry in her eyes.

She told me that her days were numbered, and that she wouldn’t be able to watch her son grow up.

The child’s father was a high-ranking deity who was busy maintaining the earth's order and rarely showed himself.

As such, she gave me offerings, hoping that I'd become her son’s guardian deity, and to protect this small prince.

Gavin does a stretch, then removes the saddle on Griffy.

Gavin: You’ve said it many times, and I remember it all. 

Gavin: Instead of these things, why don’t you eat quickly? I specially bought the basket which just came out from the stove, then rushed Griffy over. The pastries won’t taste good if they get cold.

Gavin draws out his tone, but a smile remains on his lips.

I turn my head towards Gavin, who is helping me manage the medicinal plants with a practised hand. I can’t help but ponder softly in my heart.

This person doesn’t let me protect him much...

Although this half deity obtained the added protection from the Goddess of Nature, he has never asked for assistance aside from guidance.

He has always strived for the things he wanted, and would persist through failure until he reaches his goal.

Later on, this prince who excels in both learning and military skills, and can even control wind, is the one who helps me out.

He always brings me all sorts of human food and small trinkets, calling them offerings.

Gavin: Why are the medicinal plants here turning bare again... did I water them too much?

I can’t help but laugh secretly while walking over to his side. Holding up those medicinal plants, I restore them to life.

Till this day, he only lets me help him in this area.

I think about how despite not having been coronated king, Gavin has long since been able to run a country.

As a guardian deity, I haven’t neglected my duties, have I?

MC: Come to think of it... Gavin, why haven’t you held a coronation ceremony?

Gavin pauses in his movements.

Gavin: Do you want me to become king?

MC: Of course.

Gavin: But if I become king, it means that you’d no longer be my guardian deity.

MC: That... is correct.

Gavin averts his line of sight, and he doesn’t seem to be in a good mood.

This seems to be the case every time I broach this topic with him.

Clearing my throat, I attempt to change the topic to break the awkward atmosphere.

MC: Oh yes, how many days will you be staying this time?

Gavin doesn’t respond. As though he has finally made a certain decision, he sighs deeply and lifts his head, meeting my eyes directly.

Gavin: The reason why I came this time is because there’s something important I needed to tell you. I’ve decided to succeed to the throne.

The overly abrupt news leaves me dumbfounded on the spot.

Gavin doesn’t elaborate further, and continues.

Gavin: Before that, I intend to follow the ancient text and collect the rumoured offerings that deities cannot refuse. That will allow a strong deity to become my new guardian deity, to protect me, and to protect this country.

Hearing his resolute words, my heart feels slightly upset.

Although completing my agreement is a good thing, why does my heart feel empty?

He even said he was going to find a new guardian deity...

I blink a few times, unable to comprehend the feelings churning in my heart.

Gavin: But right now, you’re my guardian deity. Which is why I hope you can accompany me on this journey. Is that okay?

Gavin looks straight at me, his eyes as transparently clear as a cloudless amber sky.

Facing such a him, I can only nod.

-

Despite not yet rationalising my emotions, I reluctantly embark on this journey with him.

The first stop of this journey is the forest in which fairies live.

Looking at the first treasure recorded in the ancient text, I heave a long sigh.

MC: A crystal which can counteract all sorts of curses. It only grows at the tip of the World Tree...

Gavin: What’s wrong? Deities don’t like it?

MC: It’s the opposite. No deities have refused such an offering. To be honest, even I want it. But...

I lift my head. Looking at the giant tree which plunges into the sky, I have a bad feeling.

MC: You have to know that even though I’m a deity, I was born from nature, and the source of my strength comes from the forest and the land. Which also means...

I’m not good at flying.

Likely hearing the implication of my words, Gavin doesn’t hold back, chuckling softly.

MC: Gavin! Don’t laugh! At that height, even a griffin would have difficulties flying up there. Furthermore, people are good at different-

Gavin: Get on.

Gavin leaps onto the griffin, lowering his head to look at me.

The griffin releases an excited caw, its wings flapping up and down.

Faint morning light caresses the side of his face, the gorgeous rosy glow wilfully painting the azure sky.

His hair and indigo cloak roll up with the air currents, the crown on his head reflecting arc lights.

And on his face, there’s a heroic valiance even clearer and more radiant than any jewel.

For a moment, I’m left slightly dazed.

As compared to any other moment, I can clearly sense that he is no longer that little child who had his brows tightly furrowed back then.

The person before me has shed off his childishness, is sufficiently intelligent, and sufficiently mature - a person who is about to become a young king.

I always knew that he was someone worth having faith in.

But there seems to be something else in his eyes that causes my heartbeat to accelerate uncontrollably.

Likely seeing that I haven’t moved in a long time, Gavin leans over, pulling me in front of him steadily, his arms wrapped securely around my waist.

Gavin: Let’s go.

With this soft statement, the griffin, which had been anticipating this for a very long time, flaps its wings, soaring towards the azure sky.

At the same time, a powerful gale whizzes under Gavin’s beckoning.

Using the wind as wings, we fly very, very high.

Gavin: I wanted to take you flying like this since a very long time ago. But I wasn’t able to find a suitable chance.

His words land on my ears amidst the fluttering sound of wind - high-spirited, clear, and without restraint.

I can hear the throbbing of my own heart, reminiscent of the bits of feathers in the air, drifting along with the breeze.

With Gavin around, Griffy doesn’t have to exert much effort, landing at the crown of the World Tree.

There is a rich display of light and colours on the dense and green treetop. Amidst the various lights, a cluster of dazzling crystals emit a tender and dream-like colour.

Gavin: Looks like this is it.

He plucks a crystal deftly, storing it in the travelling bag he carried along.

Seizing this chance, I take several deep breaths to calm the inexplicable throbbing in my chest.

MC: Since we’ve successfully obtained the first item, are we heading to the next destination? Or are we resting here for the night?

Gavin: We’ll set off straightaway. But give me a moment.

Gavin reaches out to pluck a few smaller crystals. Using a few branches around us, he weaves a simple bracelet, then clasps it around my wrist gently.

Gavin: Since you like it, bring a few more back.

Just as he finishes speaking, a few fairies who were grinning among the leaves earlier rush out towards us.

Fairy A: Congratulations! May the fruits of the World Tree protect the two of you forever!

Fairy B: Congratulations on your marriage! I wish you two everlasting sweetness!

MC: Huh?

Watching as the fairies start to sprinkle flower petals over our heads, my face burns with a “whoosh”.

MC: [blushing] What nonsense are you saying?

The fairy grins while speaking once again.

Fairy B: Firstly, don’t the two of you play together often, and like each other more than others?

Very few humans enter my forest. Aside from the small animals, the only one who visits me frequently, chats with me, and has fun with me is Gavin.

As compared to those small animals which aren’t able to talk or bring me snacks, it’s true that I like Gavin a little more.

With this thought in mind, I nod.

At the side, Gavin nods too. But for some reason, the tips of his ears are slightly red.

Fairy A: Secondly, didn’t the two of you make a unique agreement with each other?

Not knowing where this is heading, I nod again. After all, I’m Gavin’s guardian deity.

At the side, Gavin does a similar action.

Fairy A: Lastly, he made a bracelet for you using the crystals of the World Tree, then put it on for you personally. Doesn’t that symbolise that you’re destined for each other?

The fairy says this matter-of-factly, and the surrounding fairies agree in succession.

MC: Wait wait wait wait, this is a misunderstanding! We’re...

The words are at my lips, but I pause.

It seems that I’ve never considered how to define my relationship with Gavin.

I’m his guardian deity, but I can vaguely sense that it goes further than that.

In the end, Gavin takes half a step forward, blocking me from the celebrating fairies.

Gavin: That’s just the tradition of fairies. Humans and deities don’t have such rules. She’s a guardian deity belonging only to me.

-

The heating stove is bright red, and the sound of forging is unceasing.

??: Drink quickly, drink quickly! There are many more barrels!

The dizzying fragrance of alcohol permeates the air. Even if it’s dispelled by the breeze, it lingers for a long time.

??: You’ll only enjoy yourself to the fullest by accompanying it with the best quality cheese! Want a chunk of smoked meat too?

The bustling marketplace is rife with people hawking their wares, cheese, smoked meat, fruits and perfume. The dazzling lineup leaves one overwhelmed.

??: I didn’t expect that humans could drink as well as us! Not bad!

??: After all, he’s a half deity!

A circular table is in the middle of the lively marketplace, surrounded by dwarves who are adept in iron casting.

Aromatic mead courses through the crevices of the crowd and the small path, being sent to the table in a continuous stream.

MC: Gavin, are you sure you can still drink?

This is the first time I’m seeing Gavin drink this much. He wobbles a little while standing beside the table. Fortunately, his eyes are still sober and clear.

Gavin: I’m fine. 

Gavin: [to the dwarves] We agreed that as long as I can outdrink all of you, you’d give the rarest treasure of the dwarves to me - a golden belt praised by all the deities.

Dwarf A: We never lie!

Dwarf B: Goddess, try some! 

Before I can refuse politely, Gavin has already pulled over the wine cup offered to me, drinking it in one mouthful.

Gavin: I’m the one competing against all of you.

Whether it’s due to the mead or the nearby heating stove, my face grows slightly warm.

Another barrel of mead is finished, and the alcohol-loving dwarves at the table have already collapsed.

Gavin presses the wooden wine cup onto the table heavily. Arching a brow, he raises his volume slightly.

Gavin: You’ve lost.

Dwarf A: Fine, you win! The belt belongs to you! But...!

The dwarf stands up wobbly and burps. In front of Gavin, he pats his own chest.

Dwarf A: There’s... there’s something even more... important that I must do! Axe! I want to make an axe - the best axe - and give it to my beloved lady!

While saying this, he runs and staggers towards the forging stove. The dwarves in the surroundings cheer him on and whistle.

MC: What’s happening this time...

The dwarf is inebriated, but his limbs remain deft. He holds up a hammer and picks a chunk of steel which has been scorched red. Then, he begins hammering it with clanking sounds.

Dwarf A: Half Deity! Come here!

Dwarf B: Come and make something too!

The dwarves are rowdy, and they bring Gavin over to a forging stove, teaching him how to forge weapons.

I head over curiously. Gavin seems to think of something. He glances at me, a smile surfacing on his lips.

Then, he holds up a chunk of mithril and gives it a detailed look, as though visualising the shape he wants to carve it into.

After a while, Gavin picks up the iron hammer, hammering in a decisive manner.

Sparks dance in the air, and the flames from the stove are exuberant. The clamour and sounds of hammering are incessant, bringing the celebration of the marketplace to a climax.

Dwarf A: Done!

Cheers erupt from amongst the crowd. That drunk dwarf raises the axe he had forged, then runs towards a small stall in the marketplace.

Dwarf A: This axe is for you, my beautiful woman! Please marry me!

Even from across the marketplace, the loud voice of the dwarf drifts over clearly.

Dwarf B: Hahahaha! Not bad!

The dwarf at the side chuckles so hard that he isn’t able to straighten up. He takes several deep breaths to calm himself down, then turns around to speak to Gavin.

Dwarf B: Half Deity Lad, you too. Your skills are pretty good for a beginner! If you have a beloved lady, don’t hesitate. Just propose directly!

At the other side of the marketplace, the proposal succeeds. A brand new celebration and banquet has already begun.

I don’t bother about the joy which is about to drown us. I simply look at Gavin.

Perhaps he’s drunk a little too much. Right now, he’s staring fixedly at the short staff he forged, a look of contemplation on his face.

What the dwarf said earlier echos in my ears, akin to a mystical magic spell.

Looking at Gavin, I find myself wondering if he’d give that short staff to me.

Would he smile while looking straight into my eyes, or would he avert his gaze in embarrassment?

I’m left dumbfounded by these inexplicable thoughts.

Perhaps I’ve also drunk a little too much.

-

Early the second day, we bid farewell to the dwarves, preparing to continue the journey.

MC: I didn’t think we’d witness a wedding. It’s a pity that we couldn’t hear more about how they met and got to know each other.

Gavin: Mm. I’m also really curious.

MC: It’s rare to see you interested in such topics.

Gavin: After all, meetings are special things to me. Meetings and keeping each other company are very beautiful things.

Gavin’s tone is gentle, as though he’s recollecting his most treasured memories. Pale gold sunlight illuminates his eyes, which are even more dazzling than the most expensive jewels.

In this short trance, a fleeting yet unrealistic thought burrows into my mind without notice.

I shake my head forcefully, and decide to say something to distract myself.

My gaze quickly sweeps around the surroundings, then locks on a target.

MC: Gavin, do you still remember how we met Griffy?

As though he didn’t expect my sudden question, Gavin blinks a few times, then strokes the grown-up Griffy, chuckling as he speaks.

Gavin: Of course I remember.

Gavin: Back then, my mother had already passed on for a few years. And that deity father never appeared. 

Gavin: Perhaps because of those things, I had a pretty bad attitude towards you during that time. Sorry.

Till this day, I can still remember that period of time.

His amber eyes, which always sparkle and shine, were dyed with a heavy grey. Even his hair, which always sticks up, had drooped listlessly.

But it’s precisely because I was always by his side that I understood the heartbreak and struggles he faced during that period of time.

And I rejoiced that at the very least, I was there to keep him company.

I walk towards him, reaching out to tousle his hair. Gavin leans down and comes slightly closer to me, a peaceful smile on his face.

Gavin: In short, I came to the forest one day.

Gavin: It was raining that day. I walked to the vicinity of your small house, and discovered that you were taking care of a small, stray griffin which had wandered here from somewhere.

Gavin: You’re a goddess, but you didn’t care about yourself, and only cared about shielding the griffin from the rain.

Gavin: You treated its wounds and fed it, while getting drenched by the rain yourself.

Along with his depiction, memories surge into my heart, and they are dyed with a hazy colour of rain.

MC: I recall how you shielded me from the rain with a large leaf. Back then, I was thinking about how rare it was to see such gentle moments from you.

Gavin: Since then, I...

Gavin’s voice grows softer and softer. He turns his face away a little unnaturally.

MC: Since then?

Gavin ignores my question. He simply clears his throat and hands me something.

Gavin: MC, this is for you.

Accepting it subconsciously, the cold and smooth texture of metal causes me to hold my breath.

It’s the short staff he had personally forged yesterday.

His emblem is carved on the body of the staff, and a quality gem is mounted at the tip.

MC: This is...

Before I can say anything, Gavin hurriedly explains.

Gavin: I’m a human, so I don’t follow the traditions of dwarves. In the culture of humans, giving a handmade gift to someone is a form of etiquette to express gratitude. So... this is a thank you gift. Thank you for teaching me so much, and for taking such good care of me.

MC: I... I see!

Gavin speaks calmly and appears utterly composed.

Accepting the short staff, I turn around to pack my items. Recalling the image that surfaced in my mind earlier, my face burns again.

Clearing my throat, I ask Gavin a question tentatively.

MC: Gavin, according to your customs, what would you give to your bride?

Gavin: I’d craft a ring personally.

While saying this, he takes my travelling bag and fixes it onto Griffy’s back. Then, he picks up the ancient text to confirm our next destination.

MC: When that time comes, I’ll definitely pluck the most beautiful flowers in the forest and make a wedding bouquet for your bride.

Holding a wedding and having a partner - these are things worthy to be happy about.

But when I said this, I found that I couldn’t bring myself to smile.

It’s as though my heart is drowned in deep water. It feels acrid, and there’s also a tightening in my chest.

I’ve lived for a very long time on this land, witnessed the construction and destruction of many kingdoms, and experienced battles and peace since the ancient times till today.

Yet, I’m unable to understand the feelings I’m currently experiencing, and what they signify.

-

After that, we head to many other places together.

We cross the dessert, fly over the ocean, scale the highest mountain peak, and head to the deepest abyss.

We dance in a sea of flowers along with the odes of travelling bards, and bargain with a gigantic, greedy dragon.

The treasures in the travelling bag increase in number. Every treasure obtained makes it increasingly clearer that this dream-like journey is about to come to an end.

On an unknown empty island, Gavin and I sit side by side on the shore, watching as the waves at our feet lap against the rocks.

Looking at the pearl head ornament Gavin just gave me, my voice comes out hoarser than expected.

MC: What will you do once you become king?

Gavin: Quite a number of races are interested in humans. Perhaps I could try broadening trade. I also have to revolutionise the senate.

He talks about his responsibilities earnestly - from commerce to ruling the country, from art to food.

Gavin’s dead seriousness tickles me to laughter.

I console myself with the thought that even after he becomes king and I’m no longer his guardian deity, our relationship wouldn’t change that much. 

Gavin suddenly stops mid-speech, as though deliberating something.

I turn my head, only to see the reddened tips of his ears.

Gavin: Also... I want to marry the lady I like and make her my queen. This way, I can always be with her.

Gavin looks afar off, his gaze gentle, as though he can see his desired future.

For some reason, I want to rush towards that future with him.

And I suddenly realise what that acrid feeling twirling around in my heart is.

Without realising it, my feelings for Gavin have been intertwined and encased by a sense of possessiveness.

I don’t want him to have another guardian deity, nor do I want him to give these treasures we’ve collected together to another deity.

Most of all, I don’t want him to put a personally crafted ring on the finger of another lady.

The sea breeze rolls up tiny, light blue flowers on the beach. They dance in the air, floating towards the ocean.

At this moment, all the clamorous emotions and feelings quieten down, and are crowned a name and definition -

All of this is called “liking”.

-

The journey is about to end.

Griffy returns us to the ground.

Looking at my forest and at my little courtyard, I feel as though everything happened a lifetime ago.

Gavin: It’s nice to be home.

Gavin retrieves the travelling bag, then pats the fence at the door.

Gavin: Wait. Why do the medicinal plants look even healthier than before I left...

I tug onto Gavin before he can check on the medicinal plants.

MC: The journey has already ended, and you’ve collected sufficient treasures. Are you going to succeed to the throne after this? Looks like my agreement with your mother has been fulfilled.

Gavin: That’s right. But aren’t you going to let me rest at your place and have a drink of water?

MC: You have quite a number of things to handle after this. These treasures need to be offered to the deity. And you also have to... marry the lady you like. You should take action quickly and settle these things at one go!

I give him a stern expression, trying to conceal the childish impetuousness in my heart.

Gavin: Do you think the deity will really like these?

Gavin doesn’t leave. He stands in place, his words bringing with them a smile.

Looking at the full and bulging travelling bag, I feel tremendously envious.

MC: Of course. Who was the one who picked them with you? All right, go and offer them to your new deity. Who are you looking for? I could put in a good word for you so he or she would give you a little more blessings.

My voice grows softer and softer, and my gaze flits around.

Gavin: If she’ll like them, I can put my mind at ease. 

Gavin speaks softly, but doesn’t respond to my question. He takes the travelling bag, placing the treasures we’ve collected on the grass before me.

The crystal from the top of the World Tree, the golden belt crafted by the dwarves, the unwilting flower from the deepest part of the desert, the coral from the deepest oceanic trench...

Aside from the recorded treasures, there’s also cheese from the dwarves’ marketplace, a headscarf from sea nymphs, sun-dried jerky from the giants, and other miscellaneous items.

These items were brought along with Gavin because I liked them.

After setting down the last item, he takes half a step back.

Then, he gets down on one knee, tilting his head upwards to look at me.

Gavin: Goddess of Nature, I give you all of these offerings. Please bestow blessings upon me, protect my country, and crown me.

Gavin: And please make a long-lasting agreement with me, to become my queen, and to keep me company.

Gavin: Till death do us part.

Gavin looks at me, his sentiments and tenderness condensing into honey coloured amber.

Sunlight filters through the leaves, landing on his face like a kiss, making his eyes bright and glittering.

MC: [blushing] I...

Before I can respond, Griffy caws happily, giving me a nudge from behind, causing me to fall into Gavin’s arms.

MC: [blushing] Griffy! I didn’t raise you to be this big so you could do that!

I grumble, pretending to be stern. Then, I close my eyes defeatedly, burying my head in Gavin’s arms, not wanting him to have a clear view of my blushing face.

Gavin’s soft chuckle and his breaths land on my ears, akin to the first tender breeze in early summer.

Gavin: I used to worry that the reason for our interactions was due to that prior agreement. 

Gavin: Once the agreement ended, you would no longer have a connection to me. 

Gavin: I was troubled by this for a while, and also tried to delay that day from arriving. 

Gavin: But one day, I made a decision. 

Gavin: Instead of holding on to that past agreement, why don’t I make a new vow instead.

Gavin tilts his chin towards those treasures.

Gavin: But I don’t want you to simply be a goddess who responds to my prayers.

Gavin: This journey was meant for you to understand that my feelings for you aren’t simply the dependence humans have towards their guardian deities.

Gavin: I just don’t know how effective it was...

Gavins speaks, averting his gaze.

Recalling the hints and occasional bashfulness during the journey, I finally understand everything, and my face turns incomparably red.

MC: [blushing] Right from the beginning, you already...

Gavin coughs softly.

Gavin: So, are you willing?

Watching as his eyes draw increasingly nearer to me, it’s as though a pot of honey has been overturned in my heart, and all the flowers seem to be blooming at the same time.

I lift my hand.

MC: I’m the deity who controls the land, forests, and all the animals.

MC: I hereby make an agreement with you-

The forest seems to respond to my words. Birds outstretch their wings, trees rustle, and the land releases a faint humming sound.

Light flickers at my fingertips, akin to a sprouting bud as it flows and spreads over Gavin’s crown.

MC: I will always protect your kingdom. May your land be forever fertile, and may your kingdom forever be peaceful.

My power weaves my words into an unbreakable vow between us.

As a goddess, these are the strongest blessings I can give to him.

With a small smile, I continue speaking. Softly, I give him the blessings from me as MC, and also my response.

MC: I will also share my life with you, and my power.

MC: I will accompany you for a long time, until the destruction of the earth.

A light blooms, encasing us within it.

Gavin doesn’t speak, and simply looks at me.

I recall the day we saw the sea together, and recall the fluttering light blue petals, and the gaze he had when he stared afar off.

I’m guessing that his gaze has finally found a dwelling place.

The rays of light around us gradually recede, and the vow is established.

This isn’t a lengthy ceremony, nor does it involve complicated steps.

But we have cast a connection different from before - one which is unique in the world.

Having used my powers, I lean into Gavin’s arms, looking at the same sky together.

MC: Aren’t you going to say something?

Gavin: Erm... you really looked like a goddess earlier.

There doesn’t seem to be a change in or relationship. However, there’s a certain sweetness in our dialogue.

MC: I am a goddess! Wait, that’s not what I was referring to. May I invite Your Majesty, who has obtained the goddess’ blessings through his own strength, share his thoughts with us?

Gavin pretends to ponder over this seriously.

Gavin: I just remembered that there’s one thing I haven’t done. I plan to make another trip to the dwarves’ nation.

MC: Did you forget something?

Gavin pulls me up, and we stand together. He pats Griffy, getting it ready to set out.

Gavin: I mentioned before that I’d personally craft a ring for my queen.

Gavin: You also promised that you’d pluck the most beautiful flowers in the forest to make a wedding bouquet.

Gavin: I look forward to seeing it when I return.

🐦 MOMENTS 🐦

Gavin’s Post: If griffins really existed, they'd probably feel quite nice.

MC: Would a griffin’s fur feel like a bird’s or a lion’s?

Gavin: ...I have never thought about this question.

-

Gavin’s Post: If griffins really existed, they'd probably feel quite nice.

MC: If only we could rear one!

Gavin: We might need a larger courtyard to let it build a nest.

-

Gavin’s Post: If griffins really existed, they'd probably feel quite nice.

MC: I really want to bury my face in it...

Gavin: Even though we don’t have a griffin, we could ask Flyer if its willing.

🐦 Calls: First ll Second

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