#no bc what tf is going on rn?? what I do?😭 I don’t have any bad karma or anything like that

[putergenius]

finally got that on-campus fall I’ve been anticipating😍

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part three.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 314,691 others

tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris

yourusername is it time for bahrain yet?! can’t wait to see these two back in action again soon! 🧡

view all 4,981 comments

mclaren We keep asking ourselves the same thing! Our engines are ready and we’re raring to go! 🧡

↳ yourusername you truly understand me mclaren admin

↳ mclaren we think you’re the one who truly understands us y/n

↳ user y/n x mclaren admin?? 🤯 the plot twist none of us saw coming

user missing these lads so much lately

user THE RADIO SILENCE ON OSCAR’S SOCIALS WAS KILLING ME I DEPEND ON THESE MEN TOO MUCH THEY KEEP ME ALIVE 😭😭

user the f1 drought is real rn

user MCLAREN SUPREMACY 2024

↳ user i’m trying to be delulu but we all know it’s just gonna be the mv33 and redbull show again this year 🫤

user soooo are we all just gonna pretend like we didn’t see the pics of her with garrett ward orrrrr?

↳ user no bc i was just thinking the same thing 👀

↳ user wait that was actually her??? cuz you can like barely see her face so i thought it was just a joke???

user what a fake ass bitch

user she only posts other ppl on her acc cuz she knows her ugly ass face would scare everyone else away

user homegirl needs to stay tf away from my man fr 😤😤

user god what a hoe 😒 she already has these two that she could fuck with idk why she needed to go after garrett

user SLUT SLUT SLUT

user if she tries anything with anyone else on the city team i’m gonna lose my shit fr

↳ user same omg

↳ user honestly i’m just glad she didn’t go after grealish or haaland 🙌

↳ user she probably would’ve tried if they weren’t taken already 🙄

↳ user nah i bet she’s totally a homewrecker garrett’s probably just the first on her list

user oh… these comments… 😰

↳ user right???

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tagged: mancity

yourusername the city boys know how it’s done! and looking pretty good in orange too 😉

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mancity The lads are looking good indeed! This weekend’s match against Newcastle should be an exciting one! ⚽️🩵

mclaren ✍️ Jeremy ✍️ Doku ✍️ and ✍️ Ruben ✍️ Dias ✍️ McLaren ✍️ 2025

↳ mancity Do you think Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri would look good in sky blue? 🤔

user funny how she posts every city man BUT garrett

user god when does she go back to f1??

↳ user march iirc

↳ user well it can’t get here soon enough jfc

user FUCK OFF WE DON’T WANT YOU

user you’re a slag and should accept the fact that any guy would only want you bc of how easy you are

user i’ll bet my left leg that the only reason the f1 boys haven’t shacked up with her yet is cuz they know she’s probably riddled with disease since she drools over every guy that comes near her 😒 like girl needs to bffr and realize that throwing herself at every male in her vicinity isn’t gonna land her a husband and it just making her even more of a slut

↳ user nah i’ll bet they’ve all already done her over in f1 but nobody will touch her now that they’ve passed her round so she had to come over to football just to try and get someone to touch her again 🙄🙄🙄

user i hope garrett realizes how much of a slut she is and breaks up with her

user sick and tired of bitches like this getting with footballers and being all controlling. like i’ll bet she’s gonna tell garrett he can’t go out and party with his mates anymore bc he has to spend time in with her and then she’ll get all pissy about him having female fans bc she’s insecure and knows that if garrett got to meet a REAL fan he’d jump ship immediately. those of us who ACTUALLY care about footballers know their fans are super important to them and we wouldn’t hinder their relationship with them just bc we’re jealous or insecure. garrett needs to be with someone who actually supports him and is willing to let him do what he wants instead of controlling him like he’s a dog on a leash.

user kys like genuinely

user god i can’t wait for this skank to die 😒

“Hey Lando, it’s me. Your best friend. Again,” you give a humorless chuckle. “I could seriously use some of your wizened advice right about now, so, uh, please just give me a call back when you can. Thanks.”

It seems poetic in a cruel sort of way that less than a week ago you were walking Etihad Campus and feeling like you were on top of the world━ working a new albeit temporary gig, adding the Manchester City name to your list of clients, having photos of world-renowned footballers in your portfolio━ and now you’ve resigned yourself to hiding away in the women’s restroom, locked in a stall because it’s the only place you could think of where nobody would be able to find you.

You’re on the verge of tears and feeling rather stupid for it.

It’s the third time today alone that your call has gone straight to voicemail, and with the dozens of unread texts you’ve sent in the last week added to the mix, it’s starting to paint a picture you’re not very happy with. Lando is ignoring you. Or he’s blocked you. Or he’s blocked you because he’s ignoring you━

You bite down on your lip, hard, to keep back the sob crawling its way up your throat.

You’re not a PR officer, you hadn’t been lying when you told Garrett that, but you’ve spent enough time around the McLaren PR teams that you’ve picked up enough tips and tricks to know, at the very least, that the best thing you can do is just ignore the comments.

That’s what they tell all the athletes.

What they don’t tell the athletes is that ignoring the comments is much easier said than done, especially when your career requires you to have such a significant online presence. And the thing is, despite all of these strangers hounding you with every name under the sun and criticizing your capabilities, qualifications, and very existence, the thing that hurts the most is the radio silence from the only person you know could make it all better.

Now, more than ever, you need your best friend. But he isn’t here.

You tuck your phone into your jacket pocket and unlock the stall with great reluctance. You know better than to be hiding away, shirking your responsibilities while crying over a few missed phone calls. You have a job to do, and a real professional wouldn’t let something as simple as a handful of tasteless comments get in the way of that.

You should be used to them. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Your first month at McLaren wasn’t entirely different.

When you were first hired on, Carlos had been in Formula One for a handful of years already and had built up a devotedly loyal fanbase with a decently large percentage of possessive fangirls who had come for your head the moment your existence had been announced.

The McLaren Instagram account had posted a picture of you standing between their two grinning drivers, your camera strung around your neck, with a very nice caption welcoming you to the team, and despite no indication that you were by any means involved with either of them in a way that went beyond professional, the comments had been taken over by feral teenage girls who saw the act of you simply standing near Carlos to be a direct threat against their “chances.”

Though it had been frustrating being met with childish threats and petty insults in your comments, you hadn’t really held it against any of them. You remember being a teenage girl and crushing on a celebrity. Deep down you knew you never had a chance with them, but that hadn’t stopped you from hanging posters in your bedroom and doodling their name beneath yours inside of scribbled hearts in your diary.

Regardless, it had taken close to a month for the negativity to die down, and you hadn’t had Lando then, either, so now shouldn’t be much different.

In fact, everyone on the Manchester City team━ trainers, physios, media coordinatiors, and anyone inbetween━ has been very polite about everything between you and Garrett. A lot of them have just avoided saying anything about it, which you’re very grateful for because you don’t think you’d be able to hold back your grimace while thanking them for their well wishes, and the few who have mentioned it typically only say something vague like a wishing you the best of luck or hoping you’re happy.

An intern gave you a sympathetic smile the other day, and you’d nearly burst into tears in the middle of the office of the Director of Communications, so you know you aren’t truly alone in this.

You just feel alone.

Exiting the bathroom is a simple affair. There’s no one standing post outside ready to give you any shit for being hidden away, and nobody comes sprinting around the corner as you make your way down the hall to the press conference room that’s been temporarily turned into your base of operations.

You think you’ll probably be able to go the rest of the afternoon without running into anyone, when you open your door and find━ sitting in the front row of the seats typically saved for journalists and the press, scrolling across his phone with a disinterested look painted across his face━ Jack Grealish.

“Jack,” you greet, a bit shocked. You close the door to the room gently behind you, and cross the distance to your desk. “Did we have a meeting scheduled? It must’ve completely slipped my mind, I sincerely apologize.”

He offers you a polite smile. “No, we didn’t, so no need to be sorry. I actually just wanted to check in. See how things are going with everything.”

You blink at him in surprise. Apart from Garrett, you haven’t really had much time to speak with the other players. They wish you good morning and good afternoon when they see you, and if a ball goes astray they always call out for you to watch your head, but between their morning training and their afternoon training, their strategy reviews at lunch, and the frequent in between meetings with physios, nutritionists, and trainers, they don’t get much time to chit chat with a simple photographer.

You clear your throat, “Erm, it’s going well. I’ve gotten some really good shots these past few days. There’s one with Rodrigo that I’m particularly proud of. It should do well with the fans.”

“And things with Ward?”

You purse your lips.

“Figured.” Jack sighs. “Look, nearly everyone you run into here knows or has at least some inkling into what he’s like. He’s a prick. None of the lads on the team like him, it’s why the managers are trying to get him out of here.”

You lower yourself down into your chair. “He told me they were planning to trade him off because of his reputation.”

Jack scoffs, “Yeah, ‘cause that’s the ‘official’ reason. They can’t cut his contract early for legal reasons, so they’re waiting for it to expire and coming up with an excuse for why they ain’t re-signing him. It’s really just ‘cause the rest of us can’t keep dealing with his massive ego and the fact that he’s a misogynistic fuck who doesn’t know the first thing about respect.”

“Fucking tell me about it,” you mutter with a sigh.

If he expected you to defend Garrett and is surprised by the fact that you haven’t, Jack doesn’t show it. He looks relaxed sitting across from you, like you’re having a casual conversation and not actively shit talking a member of his team. It gives you the impression that he knows significantly more about Garrett than you do, and that because of what he knows he probably figured out that one party in the relationship is not the most willing of participants.

“How’d you get all wrapped up it in then? Didn’t figure you to be the type to go after pricks like Ward.”

You debate over whether you should tell him or not. There isn’t much Jack can do about the situation regardless, but it would at least get things off your chest and if someone else knew then maybe you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.

There’s only so many days you can spend hiding out in the women’s restroom trying not to bawl your eyes out, and you’ve already reached your limit.

You heave a sigh, “It’s kind of fucked up really.” A pen on your desk catches your attention and you start to fiddle with it, avoiding Jack’s eyes which have focused directly onto you. “He asked if I would help him fix up his reputation by pretending to be his girlfriend so he could show everyone that he’s matured and can hold down a steady relationship. When I told him no, he threatened to make up a lie about inappropriate conduct to get me fired and blacklisted from the industry, so for the sake of preserving my career I agreed.”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Jack murmurs, shaking his head. “I’m real sorry he did that, Y/N.”

You shrug. “It’s happened, so, there’s nothing I can really do except wait it out at this point.”

When you look up and meet his gaze, Jack looks murderous. His hands are clenched into fists on the armrests, knuckles white with the strength of his grip. His brows are furrowed, and his lips are twisted downward in a scowl.

“If you need anything,” he starts, “let me know. And I mean it. We all know how Ward can be. He’s a knobhead. So if you need anything━” his emphasis on the word and what that implies makes you feel more comforted than anything has since the whole fiasco started, “━then you let me know, or you tell one of the other boys and they’ll find me, alright?”

All you can do is nod.

INSTAGRAM.

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yourusername there’s no place like home

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━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry

━━ a/n: no lando yet, but we've got a cutesy little grealish scene to make up for it because i couldn't have a story with manchester city and not include him! lowkey writing this part made me wanna write for a footballer too... anyways! hope you all enjoy!

[saintslewis]

❝ 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐘 - 𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 🪩 ❞ - 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc; Nadia

summary: most of the social media post made throughout the miami gp weekend!

warning: twitter environment (you know the deal), cussing.

saint’s team radio: hi everyone! just wanted to give y’all a little something something before releasing ‘break my soul’ ! i’m a bit sick rn but i will get back into my groove very very soon 🤭

dividers by: @cafekitsune

pls like, comment and reblog! 🫶🏽

taglist: @queenshikongo3 @mauvecherie-writes @httpsserene @lorarri @goldenalbon @yeea-nah @non-stop-imagines (lmk if you want to be tagged!)

-

twitter

instagram

nadiahamilton

liked by lilymhe, badgalriri and 1,383,994 others

nadiahamilton yes i know where he keeps his music and no, i won’t be telling you where 🫶🏽

view comments

nadiahamilton it was sooo nice meeting you guys this weekend 🥹

pinned by author

user i swear you’re his lucky charm

fransisca.cgomes mother ‼️

alexandrasaintmleux and if i ask for your hand in marriage?

nadiahamilton let’s run away

user i fell in love everytime you appeared on screen

user her energy is so refreshing, even if it’s through a tv or phone 😭

user where do you get your clothes???

nadiahamilton i’ll make a highlight for all the stores i shop at 🫶🏽

herstudent i hope school’s open soon, we need the tea!!

nadiahamilton you’ll be getting the pamphlets for the medieval times instead 😚

user his arm…dear lord

nadiahamilton i know, can’t believe it’s wrapped around me rn 🥹

user13 no way she just said that????

yungfilly bestie takin over miami!!

chunkz i think this is where you’re wrong brotha 🤨

niko you’re right, i’m the bestie

nellarose_ YOU’RE ALL WRONG 🤣

nataliatheedon and if i smack your ass, i’m wrong 😔

nadiahamilton bc it really hurt plus you were running behind me????

mercedesamgf1 Mrs Mercedes 🤍

user lewis is washed, never going to get that 8th

nadiahamilton watch your mouth 🙏🏽

lilymhe tinkerbell 🥹

liked by nadiahamilton

user is this a inside joke???? a fun nickname??? we need to know!

sza do you think your man will have a problem if i take you away?

nadiahamilton when and where? 🤭

lewishamilton ???????

hater ad21 was deserved 🤣

nadiahamilton i know where you live 🫶🏽

hater as if

nadiahamilton Glendale right??

hater oh shit

user now how tf did she find that man’s address 😭

user don’t question her mastery 🗣️

lewishamilton my angel 🤍

nadiahamilton my superstar 💗

lewishamilton

liked by bellahadid, charles_leclerc and 3,383,929 others

lewishamilton miami, you’ve been good 🙏🏽

view all comments

nadiahamilton steal my captions why don’t you 🙄

lewishamilton it’s my job 😋

user blonde is so her colour

raye you both are so lovely 🤍

lewishamilton thank you Raye and btw, she’s crying because of this

nadiahamilton DON’T TELL HER OMG????

spinzbeatsinc king and queen of england

nadiahamilton do you want me to get deported??

user just accept your fate guys

user now i need to know if he speaks any south african languages

nadiahamilton he tries to but he says it in a british accent so i end up laughing at him

user mr, does this mean you’re the class dad?

lewishamilton i guess so?

herstudent YEAHHH OUR DAD’S SIR LEWIS HAMILTON!!!

user her face should be trademarked

user how many cars do you think they own together?

f1wags what a woman!

user petition for Nadia to be team principal!

mercedesamgf1 we back this 🫡

hater her tattoos were everywhere and stole the attention off Lewis! She’s so ugly

nadiahamilton never that 🙏🏽

user did you guys see that drake reposted her post?

user wasn’t he friends with lewis at some point???

zendaya see you guys soon 🫶🏽

racerbia mother and father

nadiahamilton my man is so fine y’all damn

user SHE’S SO REAL FOR THIS

nadiahamilton like he looks so delectable, my goat fr 🤭

lewishamilton nads 😧

f1 mother of the paddock ‼️

nadiahamilton pls not while Susie is right there ☹️

badgalriri i hope you do know there’s a group of us planning to take her

iamcardib heard she’s a stylist, need one rn

kehlani i second this !

latto777 if she ever needs flowers, i got her ‼️

nadiahamilton y’all 🥹

lewishamilton can you guys stop planning to take my wife away from me?

user idk, something’s fishy

user yeah bc where the fuck did she come from?

text messages !

♡‧₊ billionaire boys club

miles the fencer 🤺: no way they’re stealing your wife from you in broad daylight?

pookie buddy lewis: pls don’t chat, it’s hurting my spirit rn

princess natalia: let’s talk about nads meeting pharrell (also i’m a genius for naming this gc after his company)

daniel is spinning: her face was just like 😧

nadia: 🧍🏽‍♀️

personal pillow amara: but nads, genuinely, how do you feel after this weekend? it was a big one for you bae

nadia: i do feel like ripping the earth in half and falling in but it’s cool because lew gets me ice cream after 🤭

pookie buddy lewis: i always got your back, nads. you know that. we’ll get ice cream whenever you want

miles the fencer 🤺: GET A FUCKING ROOM OMG

princess natalia: EWWWWW

charlotte (not tilbury): don’t listen to them, this is the cutest shit ever 😭

andrew with the camera: but if i expose miles’ 0.5x photos, i’m wrong.

daniel is spinning: DRAG HIMMMM

personal pillow amara: i’ve taught you way too much danny

miles the fencer 🤺: man whatever 🙄

charlotte (not tilbury): nads, i HAVE to see you in malibu

nadia: ofc, i don’t know what to expect from that place

princess natalia: don’t worry bae, we got you!

ೃ° 

The Avengers (niko made this)

chunkz: nads, who’s this boy you’re chatting to? 🤨

filly felipe: “this boy” and it’s lewis hamilton 🤣

sharks: AND they’re married????

nadia: and i was going to invite you lot to my new place and show you my new car but ig you don’t want to

harry (pinero) potter: BOYS TAKE IT BACK

aj shabeeeeel: i personally never said anything 🙏🏽

niko: you know i’ve always loved f1, nads

nella loml: lying on a public platform, niko??

nadia: you lot are too funny i can’t 😭

nadia: but yeah, wanted to know when you guys are available so that you guys can meet him officially

fiily felipe: welcoming our brother in law aww 🥹

king kenny: how about we chat about the marriage??

nadia: how about no? 🫶🏽

chunkz: i’m just happy something so special is happening to you, nads. you deserve it

nella loml: it’s been a tough ride and already it’s looking so up for you bae

nadia: you guys wanna make me cry on a monday morning 🫵🏽

sharks: always the plan 🫡

niko: to make her cry????

sharks: 😐

king kenny: pls come back to London asap, Cench has been calling us up for a vid ever since the last two 😔

nadia: leave me out of that one, i have a husband 🖐🏽

chunkz: YOU TELL THEM NADS

filly felipe: nadia thandeka hamilton, it has SUCH a nice ring to it 😭

aj shabeeeel: and you guys look so leng together, already my brother in law 🫡

harry (pinero) potter: better get home quick for that debrief!

saint’s team radio (once again!): hope you guys enjoyed this one! it’s got a little touch of how nadia interacts with people she knows and people she doesn’t, our social butterfly 🥹

we finally have a ship name for our favs ‘Lewdia’ coined by @mauvecherie-writes!

i’ve got a few more smaus ready but yeah, love you guys loads! 💗

[agendabymooner]

𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 !!! 𝐥𝐧𝟒 — 𝐨𝐧𝐞

☼ WHO TF IS LANDO NORRIS?

chapter summary: honey-sue is… honey-sue. she knows who she idolizes (and have a crush on; mason mount), she knows that she’s looking forward to getting the hell out of the university after two years of her masters degree program, and she knows that she doesn’t care about the formula one teams that aren't mercedes amg - she also knows she cares about mick schumacher.

so when her fans (who were coincidentally fans of the sports as well) began to ask her things about her lack of interest, more people (mostly just a group of british youtubers and a certain f1 driver) immediately shifted their attention towards the socially awkward woman as she and her brother got invited to a party in monaco hosted by an f1 driver. newsflash: it wasn’t hosted by either lewis hamilton or george russell.

content warning: use of explicit language, chatfic + tweets, mentions of social anxiety

masterlist

HONEY-SIUUUUU

jideeee 😚😚

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

who dis?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

stfu you know this is your best girl stop capping

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

no? idk who you are

HONEY-SIUUUUU

so if i were to say that i told simon about you using his towel to clean up the mess you made in his room then you wouldn’t be phased about it?

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

naw fam i’m all jokes 😭 don’t tell simon

what’s up, honey??? can’t pay your rent this month?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

oh har har 😒 we all know who’s most likely got more money in her savings

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

and we also know who’s most likely to get someone anything she wants because that someone refuses to use her money on any stupid shit for once

HONEY-SIUUUUU

fuck off i’m being practical. at least i haven’t lost my money to crypto

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

ouch ok. i’m hurt 😒

HONEY-SIUUUUU

anyways. I GOT MY FINAL GRADES BACK 😭😭 I WANNA TELL U FIRST BC I FEEL LIKE YOUD BE MORE EXCITED FOR ME

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

ong??? holy shit, that’s fast. did you make it to the president’s list???

HONEY-SIUUUUU

ok but what do i get when i tell you the result? /jk

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

a pat on the back and congratulations? 🤣

HONEY-SIUUUUU

i’m expecting for something more than that but as long as you’re fulfilling your promises i’m solid

BUT ANYWAYS I GOT THE ONLY 4.0 AND PRESIDENT’S LIST 😭😭😭

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

HOLY SHIIIIT LEZGOOOOO

smart ting you are what the fuckkkkk

happy for you honey!!!!! 😮‍💨

lowk wish i’m there rn to celebrate that with you and the mandem 🙃 stupid boxing trainings

HONEY-SIUUUUU

ugh don’t even worry about it jj 😁😁 i was just v excited to share this to u

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

i’ll make it up to you i promise!!! i’m hella proud of u and ur ability to not even have a breakdown during those days ✊

i gtg tho 🙏 congrats again bro! lmk when ur graduation’s gonna be and what u want for this. i’ll ttyl

HONEY-SIUUUUU

forget about it jj— i was just joking when i said get me sumn

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

it’s a good thing i don’t listen to you whenever you tell me not to get you something huh?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

that’s just your guilt from calling me a sket on harry’s diss track.

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

haha just tell me what u want and i’ll get it sorted out as soon as possible

HAROLDINHO

oi honey

PLONKER

oi harold

HAROLDINHO

i’m at the mailbox rn

u got a package

PLONKER

gee do you ever wonder what the mailboxes are for? 🤔🤔

HAROLDINHO

i was going to bring it upstairs but i guess never mind 😒

a simple “oh really? thanks harry!” would suffice

PLONKER

just get up here and bring it 🤡 you could’ve just brought it up instead of texting me

what’s so special about it that you had to text me before you get up here n e ways??

HAROLDINHO

i dunno. something about it screams fancy.

did you get any bag by chance because this seems a bit too expensive

PLONKER

i don’t buy expensive stuff online???

can you come up so i can open it?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

JJ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!

LIKE YOURE NOT PULLING MY LEG? AND HARRY’S?!!!

IS THIS REALLY MONACO GP?!

JJ YOU BETTER RESPOND NOW OR IM GONNA BREAK IN YOUR HOUSE AND I KNOW WHERE YOU PUT THE KEYS TO YOUR LAMBO

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

sorry i was on the gym

don’t break into my house

and yes??? you said to get you something right?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

yeah but i was joking 😭😭

this is so cool

but this is expensive. do you take paypal?

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

no tf 🤣

as i said. i’d get you anything you want. but you didn’t tell me what you wanted so i just asked the boys

HONEY-SIUUUUU

you never should’ve listened to harry lmfao

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

lol it was vik and simon who recommended we get you and harry those tickets lololol

i was like “hmm idk what to get her” so they were like get you a trip to monaco or something. they specifically said get you a paddock pass for mercedes

so like go see your michael schumacher or that ken doll you showed me

HONEY-SIUUUUU

jj babes 🤣🙃 mick is in haas

and the fact that we’re taking your jet too 😭😭 you didn’t have to go all out on me

but seriously thank you thank you thank you

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

letting you know as well that will, filly and chunkz are coming along. they got passes from mclaren and all that. it'll be a full plane lol. so it won’t be as overwhelming for you and harry to go alone

HONEY-SIUUUUU

no way?!!!! MY FRIEND FILLYS COMING ?! 😭😭

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

yeah lol

so you have fun in monaco. everything’s been paid for by your personal bank account

HONEY-SIUUUUU

ugh my personal bank account is so fucking amazing

i could give ‘im a lil kiss on the mouth rn 😮‍💨😮‍💨

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

naw don’t do that i don’t think your brother would like that

lmk if there’s anything else you’d like i’ll see what i can do 👍😉

HONEY-SIUUUUU

a little kiss of appreciation on the mouth for you?

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

no 🤣🤣🤣

RIABISH

hey! i hope this isn’t so weird but you’re honey-sue right? wroetoshaw’s sister?

HONEYSUE

uh hi.

yes it’s me. it does say it on my username and bio. sorry if this is very rude.

RIABISH

no no! all good haha!

i just wanted to confirm! we got the information from will about you. i’ve known the sidemen and your brother but when he mentioned you were coming along to the race in monaco i had to look you up :)

i’m ria btw! i happened to be acquainted with him and filly bc we collab’d with them before. quadrant?

HONEYSUE

i’ve heard of you guys before because will spike a lot about you lots.

RIABISH

all good things i hope 😉

HONEYSUE

haha. yeah.

nice to meet you

RIABISH

likewise :))

we’ve been told of you because apparently you got lucky with ksi getting you free tickets and trip to monaco for the race

HONEYSUE

yeah idk.

i don’t watch formula one as much as i used to years ago. i don’t know much about who’s racing now and whatnot except from whatever’s happening with merc

RIABISH

oh… not at all?

not even mclaren?

HONEYSUE

no. this will be the first time i’ll be watching in a while.

RIABISH

you seem very nice!

listen, will and filly said you’re all flying in at the sunday before the race week begins. lando’s got will, filly and chunkz paddock passes and they’re all hanging around with us quadrant lots for the week.

would you and w2s be interested in coming with us? take you around monaco and get to know each other better since we all live in london and all :))) lando’s been wanting to meet harry for a while so him being in the monaco gp would def work out for all parties. lando will also be hosting a party in his flat in monaco. what do you think??

HONEYSUE

uh

to be honest you’ve lost me at the first message. if you don’t mind— can i ask who lando is? i’m not like any sidemen people— i don’t watch f1 as much as i used to.

i’ve heard of his name before. but that’s because there are people on my twitter saying he’s made references about my videos and songs and whatnot.

i really don’t know who he is

RIABISH

ah right.

that’s alright ;)

lando drives for mclaren and he has the driver number 4. he’s actually one of the members of quadrant. he races and all that! that’s how will and the lots got their passes lol

HONEYSUE

oh okay.

about the invitation.

i think it’s ideal you ask my brother or shoot him a message in insta about it.

he’ll gladly answer

thank you for the offer. i’m sure he’d say yes. i have to go sadly. i’ll talk to you later!

RIABISH

okie. ttyl 👋

MINI HARRY

you absolute knobhead

you call me socially inept all the time yet you’re out here trying to get me to talk to people?!

WILLIAM²

wdym?

oh my god. i am so so sorry

i didn’t think ria would actually be sending and shooting a message to your way

MINI HARRY

you know what

i don’t even care

whatever it’s not like i’d be talking to them anyway.

WILLIAM²

if you’re talking about not being around them during the week nice try.

because harry just said he’d come along with us in monaco before the race. so the chances of you being friends with the quadrant lads are high.

i’m not sure if it’s just me but lando’s more than excited to meet you. harry just ok’d that you two would hang out with us.

MINI HARRY

oh my god. does anybody in my circle ever use their brain?!

[staycorpse]

how do you think corpse would be with a tall gf??

Corpse x Tall! Gf 🖤

author’s note: that’s all i can think of at the top of my head rn 🥹🫶🏽 thanks for requesting this! hope you enjoyed! 🫧

not me forgetting how tall this man is 🥴

it’s a mix of him being your biggest hype man nd being a troll

right off the bat, just want to clarify: i don’t see him having a preference over his partner’s height. honestly i see it as something he doesn’t give a fuck about. he loves you for you, period. whether you’re taller or shorter, it doesn’t matter to him.

if you are confident about your height, best believe that both of your feeds will be of the two of you slaying fit checks like it’s nobody’s business!

every post on his platforms will be of him hardcore simping over you, how such a baddie you are- becomes a whole stan acc

best believe you will be the album cover or single cover on any of his music projects

if it’s something you are insecure about, he’ll go out of his way to hype you tf up! every. single. time 👏🏽

like for example, you’re planning on going out nd dressing up. nd you’re debating between wearing those cute heels/platforms or some regular flats

the correct option is to wear those cute heels/platforms 🤷🏾‍♀️ especially if it’s what you wanted to wear in the first place!

will end up making you late bc he’s trying reassure you that you look great in the heels/platforms. doesn’t want you to leave the house without wearing what you actually wanted to bc you were worried about being taller than everyone else

ngl corpse likes it when you’re even taller bc of the shoes you’re wearing (i didn’t forget him simping over lady dimetrescu from re8 so… 🫠 don’t @ me)

he gets pouty bc you don’t understand how being taller makes you even more beautiful to him

will always compliment you and tell you how beautiful you are

every time you enter the room, you hold his attention without even trying nd you’re just subjected to constant love, praise nd support

he could be on a stream/call with his friends nd will pause for a moment just to tell you that you’re hot af nd that he loves you

whenever his friends ask him if he feels a lil insecure himself about being shorter than you, he shuts that shit down IMMEDIATELY

will always let it be known that it’s never a problem, just an added bonus bc its you

he could get teased himself for being shorter than you nd he doesn’t hesitate to hit anyone back with his sass/put them in check

to him, it’s such a nonissue nd it sometimes makes him laugh that people will find the time to talk shit about your guys’ height difference

will share stories with his friends where he does tease you a bit bc of your height

like for example, you both are in the kitchen and he asks you to get him something from the top shelf

even though you know he’s more than capable of doing it himself, when you do entertain him by grabbing the thing he asked for, he’s just gets giddy about it

like wow is this how girls feel when it’s the other way around? 🤭

one time you thought it’d be funny to pin him against a wall to see his reaction nd he got so stunned! he was a stuttering nd blushing mess 😂 lowkey likes it when you do it to specifically put him in his place when he gets too bratty or sassy with you

if you want to know the quickest way to get him to fold, slowly pin him against the wall without breaking eye contact. you’re welcome 🤪

expect a lot of back hugs! he just can’t help himself. you could be cooking or streaming nd he’ll just hug you from behind. he lives to be the little spoon when you two cuddle.

nd if his head is not laying on your chest so he can hear your heartbeat, he will throw a pouty fit 🤧

he’s really just living the girl fantasy nd he wouldn’t trade it for a second. like he’s so baby girl coded when it comes to you

will sometimes ask you how the weather is up there 😭 which results in a swift ‘stfu babe’ but!!! if you do decide to entertain his bullshit, it’s usually followed up with a sarcastic answer

“currently a thunderstorm rn..” or “pretty cloudy today.”

“aww babe,” he’ll coo, “c’mere, let me make it better.” you lean down to his level nd he’ll just kiss you

even better if you’re standing over him, he’ll just motion for you to lay on top of him or sit in his lap nd he’ll just shower you with kisses

after of giving you your very much deserved love nd affection, he’ll see the smile on your face nd say, “hmm, i think there’s a 100% chance of sunshine today~”

[beenbaanbuun]

I have some thoughts and would like to share them. I’m out with some friends trying different flavors of bacardi and my mind is racing with thoughts apologies ik this is gonna be a mess

<<<<<<<<<<<<< min gi. >>>>>>>>> ✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰

he will be the main topic for my thoughts tonight. It’s just something about that man that makes me 🫠

thought # 1 to kick this off………. I just can’t get behind everyone who pants him as some overly subby man. 😗sorry not sorry, like have we seen this man? Now I don’t think he’s a hard dom by any means but, I just can’t picture this man a hard sub. I think he’d be a switch tbh bc you cannot tell me that this man won’t manhandle you and fuck the breaks off of you listening to some metal or r&b (depends on the day) 🙆🏽~~

& he’s literally a LEO man. LEOOOOO!!!…….L-E-O!! cmon now!!

I also feel like he’d want you in his lap all the time, & constantly pulling you onto it.

there is no other seat when you have his lap. 🤷

+ in a fan call a atiny asked him what inanimate object would he wanna be and he said a chair so they can rest comfortably 😭😩so you cannot tell me he wouldn’t!!

~~buttt I don’t necessarily fully disagree that he’s subby but not to such a degree.. you get what I’m saying? I just think people perceive him this way because of his dynamic with yunho. but🤷

OMGGG my favorite quality about him~~~ he is sooo loyal!!!! ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ like I 100% believe he wants to intertwine his soul with someone. he wants to be his partner everything because his partner will definitely without a doubt be his everything!!! once he finds his one it’s them and him FOREVAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! he would give you the entire world if he could

I also can see him showing off his partner 25/8

and he’s so straightforward so I’m sure he will always make his intentions known. he will set the record straight and let the world know he is off the market. he is a taken man!! I mean you could give him two options and if you’re not one of the options he’ll make you one. 😩 his loyalty is unmatched and unwavering. Absolute complete devotion.

Omggg jealousy and possessiveness …

such a jealous man.

but he’s a softie so I don’t think intentionally making him jealous (by like let’s say flirting with another) would be a good thing I think it would make him have some doubt and feel down.. but he literally wants you all to himself. he wants ALL your attention, ALL your love, time etc As I previously said he wants to be your everything your number 1. your number one priority. he literally wants you to treat him better than anyone else. (definitely not saying he’s some crazy type and wants you not to talk to anyone besides him. just wants to be your priority. 😅

I kinda feel like he’s a thighs and ass man.…..

& he’s such a flirt as well like omg😩

I also kinda feel like he's superrr into praise lovesssss when you praise him and lovessss to praise you. Especially during sez “fuck feels so good Mingi…..” or “you fuck me so good/well” I can imagine would have him spiraling and will need you to cum for him asap and he'll get you there asap too

(I also also feel likes he’s a wild card so it’s hard to really say much but I have SOOOO much to say …😭)

Now Giving or receiving

also certified eater, firm believer he throughly enjoys eating tf out of you. will literally get off to just that. could do it for hours on end. Feel like he’d MUCHH rather go down on you than the other way around.

Aftercare I feel like it’ll consist of holding you to his chest or some type of position where you’re skin to skin and you’re rubbing your fingers through his hair

I have sooooooo many more in depth very thought out long thoughts but I don’t want to over do it and I just felt like sharing a piece of my thoughts tonight because this isn’t even the tip of them. even if it’s not all together 😅 I do prefer to be organized with my thoughts but Ima mess rn and a little tipsy so if you'd indulge me another day I’d love to come back and share more of my in depth hard thoughts with you but more put together when Im not intoxicated but Im really thinking about it so badly rn I can’t let go is my sub and dom thoughts I have so much to say but I suddenly also cannot hold my eyes open longer anymore so it’s about time I head home thank you for your time I love your work so much and yeah

IM GOING INSANE WTFFFFFF

okay so you are SO RIGHT about the manhandling. like what is the point of being so big if you’re not going to use it?? i’m not even talking just in bed though - we will got onto that later though - because he will manhandle you 24/7. the main thought that comes to mind is him placing his hands on your waist whenever he needs to scoot past you. like he doesn’t even say ‘excuse me’ or anything because why would he when he can just move you himself?? and you can’t tell me this man doesn’t just love picking you up and taking you places. who gives a fuck if you’re busy doing something? if this man wants cuddles then there is nothing stopping him from just scooping you up in his arms and taking you with him!!!

and the lap thing is >>>>>> you could be sat in an empty room and this man will be dragging you onto his lap even though every single other seat is free. and if you manage to escape his grasp and sit somewhere that isn’t his lap?? you best be prepared to deal with him sulking for literally HOURS!!!!! it’s cute tho so…

and as for manhandling you in bed, boy oh BOY!!! okay, so we both know this man loves giving head. this mf will literally d r a g you onto his face and pin you to it with his arms wrapped around your thighs and he will keep you there until he’s finished. you could be crying from the overstimulation, but unless you say the safeword, he won’t let up until he’s had enough. and then when he is finished, he’s flipping you over and fucking into you whilst pinning you to the mattress.

and to tie into the possessiveness thing, this man would fucking LOVE giving you hickeys. marking up your neck so prettily so everyone can see that you’re his. if it keeps other men at bay then it’s doing its job perfectly!! it means they know that you’re his…

also on the topic of both hickeys and his oral fixation that he 100% has, he definitely loves painting your thighs purple with his mouth… anyway!

youre so right about the praise thing too. no matter whether he’s domming or subbing, he will absolutely love to hear you tell him just how good he’s doing. it’s absolutely his motivation to keep going, not to mention it stops any insecurity he may be feeling and helps him understand exactly what you like.

literally immaculate thoughts!!!! i will be thinking about mingi for the foreseeable future…

[goodtimeswithollie]

okay I’m gonna talk about the Jack and Wanderlust shit so if you don’t want see that… don’t read

I’m lucky that I stopped rlly being in this fandom because I don’t really care about Jacklust too much anymore but like this still pissed me off

I don’t know why we are getting this weird ass plot of Nightswan & The Traveler rn when like another post that I reblogged said, we hardly know anything about how this world works and they’re focusing on… messy relationship stuff. I would have been completely fine with the whole half sibling story if idk… it was done better and quicker especially since this is coming out 2 years after the JD23 lore and people were literally shipping the 2 before the game actually released and they KNOW about the ship too

I feel like this is a weird attack against the shippers and believe me I KNOW the shippers can be annoying at times but still I saw people in the Insta comments (idk if people are saying stuff on Twitter, I don’t have Twitter but I BET they are) being happy that the ship is being destroyed bc of the shippers like grow tf up you are happy that a DANCING game ship is being obliterated bc of ppl online, ik im making a whole post about it but my point still stands okay 😭😭

I’m more pissed bc I dedicated a good chunk of time into the game because I for one, liked Jacklust, but I was also excited to see how the story went. Also if I’m being completly honest I never gaf about any other ships maybe except for like Bride & Rasputin so it sucks seeing the one ship I liked go down the drain

Idk I’m still going to observe the fandom and game from a distance like I’ve been doing, I’m not going to be deleting anything on here yet I’m going to decide that when the game actually comes out my tiktok has already been privated since like January of this year and I think I lost the login information idk

all I’m gonna say tho is… if you wanted messy relationship drama Just Dance idk you could have maybe… used the plot & characters you always created (BRIDE AND RASPUTIN). Also not related to Jacklust but maybe… instead of making lore for characters from previous games that nobody asked for maybe spend more time developing the lore of the world that these mfs live in!!!

It’s lowkey embarrassing typing a think piece out for JUST DANCE but do with this what you will, agree with me or disagree with me I really don’t give af 😭

[jaegersmoon]

do u have any advice on choosing what to major in college or choosing a career path 😭 i’m becoming a senior in hs this fall and i’m freaking tf out cause i still don’t have a plan. it’s frustrating because i feel like everyone around me knows where they wanna go and what they wanna do, but im so lost. im terrified of not making enough money when im older brut i don’t wanna be miserable in a job i dont even like😓 not sure what to do

bb you’re worrying / stressing much too early , please don’t let your anxiety about this take away from your senior year. sit back and enjoy it because it will be over before you know it. the amount of ppl that change their major from what they went in thinking they wanted is insane and i can guarantee that’s going to happen to the people surrounding you rn.

i can count on maybe one hand the among friends i had in hs that ended up actually going the route they planned to. everyone else changed their mind / found something else to be their calling and some are still figuring it out (me).

college is about discovering who you are and what you want. your first two years will be gen ed’s, pre recs with electives. use elective to broaden your mindset bc you never know what you might fall in love with.

i went into college as a nursing major swearing up and down that’s what i wanted to do but i ended up changing my major like 5 times before declaring my junior year and when i say that’s so common upon other college students i mean it. so many people go into fields they never would have thought about while in high school.

everything might feel like it’s moving so fast and it might be making you feel like you’re falling behind but i promise you that you’re not <3 enjoy your 12th year, there’s so much time to find what you want once you get to college :)

[ttcalzz]

Doing this all at once!!

Warning ‼️ novel below

1. Stats

Cw: 143.5lbs 🥲

hw/sw: 165lbs 😧

ugw: 127lbs

2. Height: 5’ 8”. And I would say I do like my height!

3.

I loveeee how small her waist is and how all around slim and toned she is!! She’s also my height so it makes pics of her even more motivating!

4. I really don’t wanna lose my ass 😭😭 I barely have one to begin with! Also I’m scared I’ll slow my metabolism down so I can’t maintain my ugw

5. I am losing weight for me. I want to lose weight because I’m tired of feeling a double chin when I look down, or having to wear “control top” (barf) leggings under skirts so they look right. I want to be totally confident and comfortable in the body I carve out for myself.

6. I do binge sometimes, mostly out of a sense of loss of control. When I’m really in a tailspin, and I can’t focus, food fills the void. I always feel worse.

7. My parents do not know! They know I’ve had an 3d “in the past” so I am keeping this very much under wraps

8. I don’t really have a routine per say, I just do whatever I feel like doing, but I usually do something like

- Clamshells (60 seconds each side)

- 80 squats

- 30 lunges (each side)

- bridges until failure for 2 sets and then pulse and hold until failure for one set

- 3 supersets of 10 reg crunches, 10 crunches w legs in an L shape, 10 crunches with legs straight up, and 15 leg raises.

- 10 pushups (as many standard as possible, then assisted/on knees)

- 60 second plank

- Stretching

9. Kinda. The earliest I can remember is being veryyy little in the pool with my little sister and her asking why my belly was bigger than hers. I didn’t even know what fat meant at that point but it hurt like hell. When I was a little older, I remember my grandma giving me advice on losing belly fat ☹️ like girl pls. My family has commented negatively on my weight loss before though, my dad is convinced I’m “super skinny” and “need to put some weight on”. I’m literally completely healthy?? Girl bffr.

10. The hardest thing? Probably how weak I feel. I know that’s just the way losing weight goes, and it does validate me, but I’ve always been rly strong so losing some of that muscle mass as I lose weight has been hard bc I can’t do as much as I was able to before. Planning to pack muscle on as much as possible anyways bc it makes you look skinnier

11. My fav th!nsp0 blog is probably @c0ke-zer0 , the stuff they post is so motivating 🥰

12. Lately, I’ve been drinking a lot of Fairlife protein shakes (chocolate flav my beloved) and eating saltines w hot sauce (I know it’s weird but it works). I also really enjoy salads, fruit, dumplings, rice, and 0 cal energy drinks. I will eat pretty much anything, I don’t really have fear foods, I just eat a very small portion and try to eat the most of whatever is lowest calorie/highest protein

13. I’m definitely not losing weight in a super healthy way, but it isn’t the worst? I’m hoping to actually maintain my UGW afterwards so I don’t wanna totally fuck my body up rn.

14. My ugw is around 125-130, I know weight fluctuates and my actual ugw is like 128 but it’s never gonna be exactly that every day. I’m hoping to reach it before the end of November! I only have like 13.5 lbs to go!!

15. Nope! I am not vegan or vegetarian, and I don’t think I could do either. Chicken and tuna are such good low cal/high protein foods, I could never give them up.

16. The first time I ever remembered really wanting to lose weight was when I was around 15? My best friend had an 3d and I remember googling it to see what it was and finding tumblr and…. It was all downhill from there 😭 can’t believe I’ve been dealing w this shit for so long bro I need to lose the weight and get tf out.

17. I am not diagnosed with any eating disorders butttt I definitely have disordered eating? If I were to get diagnosed it would probably be something along the lines of 4n@ or 0rthø

18. Anything salty and crunchy 🥹🥹 I will go through a whole bag of takis so fast it’s not even funny. Been avoiding chips as much as possible for this. Also candy if it’s just around? I used to have a really bad habit of just eating mindlessly. I don’t even have a sweet tooth idk why I wouldn’t just control myself. That’s not really any issue anymore tho

19. I work at a fast food-ish place, but I didn’t really eat my last shift so I guess it would have been about 2 weeks ago? Usually when I get something from there I steer clear of the “fast food” offerings and take a banana or a yogurt.

20. My favorite diet is high protein, under 1000 cals. After that idc, I try to eat more healthy than junk foods, but like I said I’ll pretty much take one bite of anything.

21. Clothing sizes

Pants: 4 💔

Shirt: small

Dress: small/medium

I always buy sweatshirts and stuff in xxxl sizes though.

22. My lowest weight was 138 lbs. it was right before a family vacation, so I couldn’t get away with not eating. I ended up gaining back some of the weight and then “recovering” aka gaining all the weight back only to be unhappy and come back to this.

23. Definitely!! I totally remember seeing magazines talking about how fat celebs were and at 10 years old thinking “but I look like that” and generally growing up, skinnier was prettier and better always.

24. i think it’s disgusting. Pr04n4 content is what made me develop this 3d in the first place. It’s one thing to post abt your struggles and seek community, it’s a whole other thing to glorify it and try to make OTHERS sicker???

25. Yes, I have purged before. I don’t do it often. But the first time i was 16 and my family had gotten Taco Bell, I ate like 2.5 burritos and felt sick with myself so I threw up in my trashcan bag and threw it away outside. Horrible memory.

26. I’m so excited to be confident in my skin!! And look great in all the outfit ideas I have planned 🥹 I also can’t wait to have a partner but I don’t see that happening until I lose this weight. When that does happen, I love being picked up and carried or tossed around, so being light enough that it isn’t a burden for my partner. I also can’t wait to have someone pick me up and go “omg you’re so light” or hug me and say “you feel so skinny, did you lose weight??

27. Honestly it doesn’t bother me too much, I work around food all the time so I just sorta go into a work mindset: look, touch, don’t eat. Food is for preparing, food is for serving to others, food is not for eating.

28. Not necessarily! I think it looks nice on a body type with wide enough hips, but on me I think i would have to be skinnier than I want to be in order to have one. Besides that (VERY CONTROVERSIAL) I don’t mind bigger thighs BECAUSEEE they support ass 🫡

29. For me, beauty is when someone or something is fully expressing itself to all it can be. A performance, a flower bloom, a genuine laugh. It doesn’t really matter what those things look like, as long as they form that direct bridge to the soul and show a glimpse of yourself to the world.

30. 10 facts about myself

- I can’t stand cucumber or celery

- I’m in school for psychology

- my birthday is soon!!

- I do art

- I have one younger sister and she’s my world

- I have 2 pets! A cat and a dog

- I love blue and green

- my eyes are brown

- im in multiple f4nd0ms (c3ns0r3d so this doesnt come across n0rm4l túmbIř

- I had a hardcore middleschool emo/kpop phase (yes at the same time)

[tiredmamaissy]

i had the question about relationships…or situationship, whatever tf this is.

i’ve liked this guy for a few months now (let’s call him pineapple) we both attend the same school, but we have completely different classes. i only get to see him when i’m walking on campus after my last class. anyway, i have a really close friend…i’ll call her coconut; i told coconut i liked pineapple and she encouraged me to talk to him but i’m was too afraid to do so. it took a lot of her convincing me and pushing me to finally muster up the courage to say something to him, and it honestly didn’t go THAT bad. he wasn’t the most enthusiastic person in the world but he was still nice. assuming that i randomly approached him while he was working out would make sense as to why he was a bit caught off guard but yeah! it was a short conversation. i made up an excuse that he looked really fit and i basically asked if he had any tips on growing glutes, n you know…he gave me tips i guess.

that was about 2 weeks ago. we quickly became friends after that short conversation as i s realized him and i shared some friends. (not sure how i didn’t realize it but yeah). he quickly started inviting me to hang out with his friends and it was honestly great. though i’m a naturally timid and lowkey awkward person, i had fun hanging with him. his friends are literally ALL boys but they’re nice guys! besides some of them making uncomfortable sexual jokes about us two, it’s cool ig…(?).

that’s just some background info so i don’t blindly go into the difficult part of our “relationship”. he’s a fuckboy. like big time. i only had to spend a few days with him to realize how easy he was. went to a party WITH him and ended up leaving WITHOUT him because he was too busy getting his dick sucked by some random girl who pulled up mid-party…but i still like him? i genuinely can’t shake the feelings i have for him. he’s been nothing but kind to me. he buys me things, makes me laugh, makes me smile, all of the above….he just sleeps around…with a lot of girls…while also treating me like his girlfriend. or does he treat me like his girlfriend? i dunno if i’m just delusional. his friends refer to me as pineapples “girl” so i kind of assumed we had a little something going. maybe i am reading this wrong.

i don’t know where i’m going with this. i just want to know if you think i’m wasting my time. does he like me? i hope so…i think so…but it doesn’t stop him from having sex with other girls.

im nearing a point of just pinning him down and screaming how i feel at him. i just want him to know how strong my feelings are, how deep they run, how much i care for him, how much i admire him. i dunno. what do you think, issy?

Thank you for sharing this with me (and us), and I wish you could see my face rn 😭 I would like to say that you don’t have to listen to anything I’m about to say ofc, what you decide to do is completely up to you!

I would say talk to him. Sounds cliche but there’s definitely a lot of uncertainty about the relationship. The biggest being - are you in a romantic relationship or not? And if so, what are the boundaries of the relationship? Is it open? Does he value monogamy? Do you? You would need to sit down and ask yourself what your values and expectations are regarding intimate relationships. The fact that he went with you to a party and left without you bc he was with another person is disrespectful to you (to say the least) despite the relationship status.. so I’m sorry that happened to you.

If he’s openly engaging intimately with other people, I’d say it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t see the relationship as something ‘official’. But at the same time, he’s engaging in relationship-like things w/ you. Which is why you’re confused. Mixed signals. Which is so unfair to you. And the only way to clarify things is to sit him down and have a serious conversation with him about.. everything. And from there you’ll be in a better position to not only answer your own questions, but to make a well informed decision about where you want to go from here

Wish you nothing but the best. 💖

[womanwithahotdogstand]

Coming out as the White Sox fan that slides in your inbox every so often. Please don’t take the fact that I just followed you now personally 😭😭 I barely follow anyone on here and most of the accounts I look at for soccer, I don’t follow them.

Anyways please pray for me and the rest of the south side bc what the f is going on with them?? Worst start since, what, 1950? Even earlier? No motivation, no oomph, there are maybe 2, 3… 4 max players that are worth keeping but everyone else needs to get tf out. I can’t believe this. We can’t pitch for shit. And when our pitchers do have a good outing, we can’t hit for anything. Relievers suck. Better performing players on IL.

To be honest with you the Chicago White Sox perfectly encapsulate the state of Chicago rn. Which is not good, to say the least. Jerry Reinsdorf sell the team and enjoy retirement in your definitely luxurious home in AZ challenge. Idk how your Braves are doing but I know they’re doing better than us for sure.

Sorry for the rant. Hello again. Happy baseball and soccer watching :)

I take nothing personally and am so happy you’re here! ❤️

My friend, if I had a sports podcast (🤞one day🤞) the episode dedicated to the Chicago White Sox would be at least 2 hours long BECAUSE IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. They were PRIMED to be one of the best teams in the American League (at least a top 5 finisher) just 2 years ago and now currently have the 2nd worst record in all of Major League Baseball. Only the Oakland A’s have a worse record (that’s another podcast episode in and of itself.) The entire front office needs to be excused. Pedro Grifol needs to be excused. And, normally i’m not one to shit on players in these circumstances, but when you have athletes that are being paid more money than you and I will ever see in our lifetimes COMBINED putting in THIS kind of piss-poor effort:

they can be excused as well. (There is literally no reason he shouldn’t have made it to first base and if I had done something similar growing up and my dad was there to see it, I would have gotten my ass beat.) Something has GOT to give. Heads need to start rolling because if not this organization is going to start losing the few players that make this team bearable in any capacity and then it’s going to get really MISERABLE.

Anyway, love you. Sorry your team makes you sad.

[wabatle]

I CANT DECIDED WHETHER I WANT OBEY ME OR BLUE LOCK </333 ILL GO WITH OBEY ME(if you have time I wouldn’t mind both though 👁️👁️)

 my gender/pronouns is female and she/her

I want to be matched up with a male bc terrible house hold lowkey gave me internalized homophobia towards myself…😶

Im HEAVILY autistic and have adhd(also terrible anxiety-), I can go from being insanely energetic and needing to be constantly moving and doing something to being so tired and exhausted I don’t wanna move a muscle(even if I’ve done nothing) my special interest is sharks and I literally never stfu about them(everyone hates me/j) I’m pretty damn good at reading people/guessing what their feeling from body language. I personally think I’m a pretty kind and friendly person(though I can, and do, have terrible mood swings at times) 

Hobbies would be gaming, doing my makeup and honestly just zoning tf out.

Things that make me feel negative are very hot days, tight clothing, huge crowds(tight together, I can handle them if their spread)and certain sensory things that make me wanna puke 😭

Things that make me feel positive are being around people(that I know), getting to know people, playing with my piercings(my snake bites mainly, I always chew on them…) and animals :)

My love language(giving) is def physical affection and quality time, my preferred love language would probably be acts of service(sometimes I just shut down and can’t properly do anything for an entire day if not more) and physical affection 

I don’t have any I don’t wanna be watched up with(admittedly while playing obey me I have everyone at an even level of affection because I can’t choose </3)

This is rlly long so you don’t have to attach my ask, but since I’m sending it anonymously you can just ‘tag’ me as 🦈(I lowkey always check your acc for updates so I’ll see it even without being directly tagged </3

𓆩⚝𓆪 —🦈 Anon ( @8-xnny )'s Blue Lock and Obey Me! matchup~!

𓆩⚝𓆪 — A/N: Ngl tysm for asking for a matchup about my two favorite obsessions rn... Thank you for feeding me anon 🙏

𓆩⚝𓆪 — I think your Blue Lock soulmate is...

𓆩⚝𓆪 — Kurona Ranze!

Did I give you Kurona just because you both like sharks?

...

Yes. Yes I did LMAO

You both have so much matching shark stuff <3, like matching keychains, stuffed animals, all that kind of things

You go on aquarium dates often as well, because usually they aren't too packed

Kurona also doesn't really mind your affection and often returns it. Don't worry about being too tired to do something, as Kurona would take it over for you easily.

I hope you appreciate gift giving... Because like I mentioned before, he gets you so much matching shark stuff.

He doesn't mind relaxing inside in the AC on a hot day, as long as he's with you.

𓆩⚝𓆪 — I think your Obey Me! soulmate is...

𓆩⚝𓆪 — Mammon!

It's been talked about before, but he really goes along with whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's too hot outside? You stay inside and do whatever

Too many people in this one store? You go to a different one

He'll gladly return your physical affection as long as you're at home in private

Hiding behind insisting for a payment, he actually loves doing things for you because he feels needed

He matches whatever energy you currently have. Bouncing off the walls? He is too. Laying in bed not moving? He's next to you.

He likes to game with you as well, as he's happy as long as you're spending time together <3

I'm sorry it was so short, but I hope you enjoyed!

[tadpolesonalgae]

omg yes i have seen the gwynlain baking fanart!! altho i can't seem to find it rn :(

and i agree abt your last comment on it being more productive to just have fun shipping characters instead of fighting over it 😭

i think sometimes ppl need to stop taking shipping so seriously and open their eyes to address the Real pressing issue at hand..... which is that these mfs do some pretty gay ass shit in canon

tamlin and rhysand??? u guys were the literal heirs of entire courts and if anything u should be each other's enemies yet u become childhood besties by bonding over ur terrible fathers??????? fruity behaviour 🤨 (but actually tho their backstory is soooooo weirdly romance coded like if they were straight ppl would be eating that shit Up)

nesta and amren??? 2 girls that are known for hating everyone else just immediately become friends but then have a seemingly random falling out so terrible that they can't even look at each other anymore????????? sounds like the 194738542762 stories abt girl "friendship" breakups 🤨

don't even get me started on mor and feyre.... wdym feyre describes mor as the most beautiful woman she's ever seen.. wdym mor saves feyre from figuratively and literally self destructing and repeats "you're free" to her.... wdym mor went absolutely feral at amren when she compared feyre to tamlin..... wdym they have the most intense fight ever bc feyre endangered herself for the ten billionth time and scared the shit out of mor........ wdym feyre is the first person mor comes out to and it's during a fucking war..... wdymmmmmm

also whatever tf is going on with helion's long standing agenda to get azriel (+cassian) under his bedsheets lmfao

Oh my gosh it’s so pretty though isn’t it? Makes me want to run away and live in a cottage by a forest and grow a nice little garden (I know nothing about gardening) !!

Okay so I’m sometimes torn between wanting there to be queer relationships because it’s just nice (in my opinion) getting to see some more of them (as long as they’re paid the necessary attention and someone hasn’t just wadded two characters together in the name of representation :/) in general media, and also feeling quite strongly about showing friendships? Both showing how women can find solace in one another but also that men can have close relationships without being any less male/masculine? I feel like there is still a prominent social standard (I guess that would be the word—not sure thought?) that men can’t or shouldn’t be physically or emotionally affectionate with one another which I do think plays a part into mental health too :/

Anyway, that’s a little too complex for me this early in the morning 🫠

‘tamlin and rhysand??? u guys were the literal heirs of entire courts and if anything u should be each other's enemies yet u become childhood besties by bonding over ur terrible fathers??????? fruity behaviour’

Putting that previous seriousness aside, I love @copypastus drawings of those two, particularly this one and this one—the vibes are just so happy and lighthearted and it’s so lovely to just be able to have fun with characters ☹️🧡💛 (not to mention the art is so amazing—the colours?? hello??)

‘nesta and amren???’

Oh my goodness I have to admit I don’t really like Amren :/ I get she’s been through a lot and is probably traumatised or at least a little messed up from spending so long in absolute solitude, but at the same time for me it feels like the IC accepts Amren’s ice but didn’t like Nesta’s because she hadn’t ‘earned’ her attitude? Idk, maybe it’s because I really like Nesta and I get Amren kept her secrets even when they were having the argument, but at the same time, I feel like Amren was unnecessarily cruel toward Nesta when she should have been able to see what was going on?

‘don’t even get me started on mor and feyre….’

Oh my goodness I’m a Mor and Emerie person!! But I do like the bond Mor and Feyre have :)

‘also whatever tf is going on with helion's long standing agenda to get azriel (+cassian) under his bedsheets Imfao’

Helion is inherently fruity 🤭 can anyone blame him for wanting to get them into bed for one night?

Also I quite like how Cass and Az are fairly relaxed about that? I know it’s weird but you know those people who meet queer people and say something like “I accept you and everything, just don’t try to sleep with me”—rubs me the wrong way so I’m happy there was none of that 😰

[harryfeatgaga]

Okay so.....I will try to keep it short and simple but no promises 💀 so I work with this couple. And they are ok for the most part (although they do be getting on my nerves quite frequently at work but whatever). But they are always a little too open about their personal lives. Like last year I went to the wife’s b-day party and she got so drunk she started getting all emotional and crying and she spilled all of this info about how they both used to be meth addicts and that the husband was abusive and shit back then 😭😭 they are also very open about how they are bi and polyamorous. Now I am bisexual myself (although I don’t really talk about that shit at work cause I just don’t consider myself that close to my coworkers 😭) and I don’t judge but myself???? Personally????? I just couldn’t be in a poly relationship/throuple. I’m way too jealous of a person honestly.

Anyway, Sunday after work my cousin (who also works at the same place) stopped me and we talked for a bit and she told me someone had a crush on me. Now tbh I kinda already knew this, but it was so much worse hearing it (his random jokes and comments are sometimes too flirty but I usually brushed it off). But she told me the husband has a crush on me............😭🤢🤮 LIKE..........I LIKE TALKING TO THE GUY SOMETIMES BUT I DO NOTTTTT LIKE HIM LIKE THAT AT ALL 😭😭😭 PLUS HE’S LIKE 15 YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND HAS KIDS SO LIKE?????? NO??????????? I REALLY JUST AINT INTO THE GUY LIKE THAT OK PLUS IF IM BEING HONEST HES NOT THAT GOOD LOOKING AND THERE HAVE BEEN A COUPLE OF TIMES WHERE HES GOTTEN TOO CLOSE TO TALK TO ME AND IVE NOTICED THAT HIS BREATH STINKS SO 😭😬💀

Now the wife has never said anything flirty to me or ever given any indication that she likes me like that. And from the way my cousin was talking to me, she ain’t interested in me like that (thank god). Like, we’re coworkers and that’s fucking weird plus again, for me I just can’t do a whole throuple thing or whatever and I have ZERO attraction to the guy 😭💀 and idk it’s just been awkward seeing him at work the last couple of days now but what’s REALLY been bothering me is that he’s basically trying to invite himself along AS MY DAMN DATE to this event that I want to go to with JUST my family and friends. I think he found out about it bc I was (stupidly) talking about it with another coworker who wants to go (not with me though). Idk.......I’m just thinking I should have fucking quit this damn job a long time ago tbh 💀 but I guess the advice I want is HOW TF DO I DEAL WITH THIS?????!?!?!!?!!!!! Like........I want to make it clear in a polite but VERY FIRM way that I am Not Interested™ in him that way 😭 but I’m seriously not a confrontational person.......I don’t want to go to HR cause I’m not trying to make this a whole thing nor do I want anybody to find out it was me who reported this.....I can’t fucking lie and say I already have a significant other bc MY STUPID ASS ALREADY TOLD ANOTHER COWORKER WHO ASKED ME IF I WAS DATING ANYONE THAT I WAS SINGLE........IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!!!! UGGGGHHHH IDK PAIGE I HATE MEN AND I WANNA K*S RN 😭😭😭😓😓😓

Anonymous asked: Me: “I’ll keep it short and simple”

Also me: *sends you a whole ass book*

😭😭😭 IM SO SORRY BUT IM STRESSING HERE A LITTLE BIT 😭😭

OH. MANSDJCNBFHJV I would just straight up ignore them tbh they are just random co workers you dont owe them anything and who cares if you said your single if he or the wife are weird and ask about it just say you have a bf/gf or whatever there not gonna know either way! and just avoid them at all costs as much you can! good luck bestie! I work with a lot of weirdos too I seem to attract them you just gotta void and be stand offish if you have to!

[212-apricity]

Okay I’m finally here! I wanted so badly to read it when you posted but I was so freaking tired I crashed 😭 But I’m here with another rant/essay of thoughts and emotions haha I feel like with every chapter I write more and more 😂

Getting a glimpse into Conrad’s head in any fic itches my brain nicely, idk I just love him?? Anywho, the way you write his like emotions and his anger/frustration? I’m here for it, he deserves to be a little upset instead of just shutting himself down to protect himself 🥺🖤 BUT him tracking Dean down and punching him before the ass can even get a word in?! Yes!! Thank you omg, protector Conrad getting his emotions out AND making sure Dean knows he’s not welcome anymore? no and then he comes home and tucks us in??? After beating a guy up?? God I’m feral for him I need therapy 😂

Him and his moms? (Bc lbr Susannah x Laurel is the real otp here 😭🖤) I tear up every time Susannah’s cancer gets brought up bc of personal stuffs so like Conrad crying on her and letting himself feel bc he didn’t mean to hurt us while his mom was sick?? My eyes were sweating I wanna give him cuddles and back rubs and forehead kisses 🥺😭🖤🖤

Steven would be that person tho “oh don’t worry I watched the cooking channel I can do this!” And then fucks it all to hell 😂 I love him, I feel like Steven and I would be those besties that are complete idiots together because we share half a braincell 😂

And Connie calling us my girl?!?! AND baby?!! That shit gives me butterflies omg 😭😭 im so lonely lmfao ahh the whole living room scene has me in a choke hold I love him, just ahhhhh the domesticity of caring for your lover after he beats someone up for you 🥺🖤

The almost kiss on the beach had me swooning too 😭 Fucking Steven and cockblocking us 😂😂

MATCHING TATTOOS AHHH 😩😩

No but who tf does Thérèse think she is???? “Sorry I stole your bf I was jealous but I ended things with him” like good for you but stay away lmao like that trust would be so damaged!!! Thérèse and Dean really do deserve each other 😤😤

Okay but us hitting Dean? And just being a feral cat about him not shutting up? Yes please?! Couples who beat shitty exes up together are top tier 😂 (I know we’re not a couple yet but in my heart Conrad’s already my husband 😂🖤) AND AGAIN the of checking over each others wounds?!!! I love them, your honor. 🖤🖤

Okay but Connie immediately wanting to take off and beat the shit out of Dean, while the love of his life’s injured??? But his tunnel vision is just like “gotta kill this guy”?? Like you idiot I don’t want Jere to take me to the hospital I want the person that makes me feel safe there 😭😭😭

Overall I love how theres a bunch of little moments showing how we love each other but it doesn’t feel forced or too fast? Like obviously Conrad and her just wanna kiss (damn you Steven) but also they’re comfortable just existing together too because they both know they care?? Does that make sense? Is that even what you were going for? Idk but that’s how I’m feeling it rn, maybe it’s just my craving for love that’s reading in too deep 😂😂

AHHH 😭 Anyway thank you again for another glorious chapter, I love it, I adore you, and I’m so so excited for more! I can’t wait to see the moms reactions to their tattoos (and for getting into a fight and getting injured 💀😂) and just for more shenanigans in general with everyone 🖤🖤😭

oh. my gosh. STOP I LOVE THESE COMMENT THINGYS SM THEYRE SO FUN.

ok so i totally agree, dean is a RAT he deserves whatever happens to him ik i wrote the damn thing but i stand w it🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

no but fr someone needed to humble dean and thérèse both like they’re so annoying. i didn’t want thérèse to have a giant monologue just explaining why she did what she did bc honestly people like that don’t rly say all that much irl, they’re just looking for ways to get back in ur life and mess it up again tbh and she was just annoying too like

and i mean i didn’t wanna say it myself but yes the main characters here ARE susannah and laurel, glad we cleared that up. they’re literally so cutesy and wonderful i love them sm

STEVENS SO FUNNY STOP- hes literally hilarious i love him sm

no honestly i love the living room scene too it’s so cutesy and domestic i thought those two needed a tiny little cute relaxed moment before it all went down tbh💀💀

and i agree, if someone called me baby??????????

🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

that’s all i have to say. next question.

no everytime i write an almost kiss im literally on the edge of my seat as well like should i make them kiss or should i wait🤨🤨

REAL. we’re not officially w conrad yet but we bascially are married w two dogs and an adopted son (steven) so we don’t even need to go through the formalities anymore

no fr like ily conrad but now is not the time, you better get in that car and drive to the hospital.

YESS IT DOES MAKE SENSE IM SO GLAD YOU NOTICED!!!! i didn’t want to make this one too like fast paced or too like oh everyone gets what they want happily ever after like i feel like you don’t need to be constantly making out or talking w someone you care about, even just spending some time w them is more than enough like just having these tiny cute little moments is so lovely

YESS IM SO EXICTED TO WRITE MORE ON THIS ONE sadly i don’t think i can post another part until like friday night / the weekend bc schooo started again today (kms) and it’s gcse year (double kms) but im so happy you like it, i love love love these conment things so much you have no idea🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ALEXIS MY ANGEL call me yan!gojo bc i would do ANYTHING for u ………

ALEXIS I LOVE YOUUUUU YOU’RE SO SWEET 😥😥😥😥😞😞😞😞😞 cried reading this UR APPROVAL MEANS SM i’m always chasing it to be clear but since this is ur concept i wanted to do it justice so bad 👉👈 I LOVED WRITING IT BUT I WAS NERVOUS PSHJDDJ so ur words mean the world to me!!! T_T are ur studies going well btw… are any profs giving u trouble……. asking for no particular reason………

have i ever told u that ur descriptions are beautiful. have i. i'm sure i have but i'll say it again. ur writing just makes me feel things i 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

now what if i kissed u silly 🤨🤨 ALEXIS I MELTED INTO A PUDDLE don’t do this to me ……. sniffle. u are so kind. thank u 😥😥😥😥 every time i read ur writing i am consumed by a primal need to eat it all in one bite so i can carry it w me wherever i go so i just feel so warm knowing u like mine too T_T we are holding hands in my brain always

I LOVE how u explain his thought process. the inklings of a yandere. a man that is willing to bend his morals and skirt the law because he just wants u to be happy. mwah. mwah mwah mwah. i love yan!gojo with my whole heart

I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW OVERJOYED I AM THAT THIS YAN!GOJO GETS YOUR APPROVAL that’s all i want!!!!!!!! i am in fact kicking my feet and giggling happily AND I’M SO GLAD U LIKED THE GOJO CHARACTERIZATION IN GENERAL i wanted to make him extra sickly sweet in this to get that yan contrast yk ….. he is soooo willing to bend his morals bc u are the Light of his life the center of it all!!!!!! he’s so smitten it’s crazy

not talking abt gojo but acc fuck this guy i'd be so pissed off 😭ALSO??? TEACHER!GOJO BYEEE i love canon teacher gojo ofc but making him good with kids and making him good with TODDLERS IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING... i just know he loves his students... i just know they cling onto his legs... i just know he yells at them when they go too high on the 5-foot rock wall bc he's a tiger parent around them... i just know he plays tag with them and pretends to get tired when he runs so they can tag him... i just know...

ALEXIS STOP STOP IT RN WHATTT ARE U DOING TO ME ,……… HE’S A TIGER PARENT HE’S A PAPA BEAR 😔😔😔😔 YOU’RE SOOOO RIGHT HE’S SO PROTECTIVE SO SWEET SO PLAYFUL ….. he sees all of them as his own kids LMAO i think he would be jealous of their parents . like wdym he can’t adopt them all… wdymmm they aren’t his….. he literally carried every single one of them for nine months </3 he would cry when they graduate i just KNOW it he’s so so sniffly and sad :(((( baby boy

get that professor OUTTA there and put me in his place tf 😭😭 why does such a horrible person get to be so up close nd personal with him ion get it 🙄🙄🙄0/10 fic if u really loved me it would've been me in his place /j

NOT THE JEALOUSY???????? 😭😭😭😭😭 okay ill keep that in mind for the knight!sugu fic pls know that any character that touches suguru is inspired by you and only you 🙏🙏🙏 all roads lead to alexis etc etc

IM GONNA HURLLL there's something so vulnerable about yan!gojo who knows what he's doing is wrong but it's all for the person he loves so it doesn't matter.. it's so tragic :( thank god this isn't an actual story bc it would not end well for him

THIS….. he’s soooo self aware maybe a lil plagued by guilt…. one line i considered putting in was (there’s nothing wrong with me. there’s nothing wrong with this.) from gojo’s pov but i figured that might be a bit too on the nose 😭😭 in my brain there’s this gap? that yan!gojo has… where he wants to protect u but also wants to be someone who deserves u. a good person. so he overcompensates for the yan tendencies in every single other area he can ….. yan!gojo core is killing a guy and then getting ur fave take out on his way back to make up for the blood on his hands <33

idk if this is intentional, but i love ur use of nicknames in this. all the classic "baby" and "honey" ones are used normally, but "angel" is only used once (other than the title!).. bc bc. guardian angels are supposed lead humans to salvation but if anything, reader unintentionally corrupted him past the point of no return, but in his eyes, the reader is an angel that he serves (an angel whose commands he follows, an angel who only represents good and light, so obviously what he's doing is justified)🙏i love it 🙏i also think it's the only nickname where he uses "my" in front of it and that just adds a whole other layer i just. wow.

ALEXIS??? U LITTLE GENIUS????? the angel motif was planned but i didn’t even realize i only made that petname possessive in tone… it’s canon now though ‼️ DISREGARD MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT ‼️ this was planned all along <333 BUT GRRRRR ALEXIS u are always so thoughtful and attentive it blows my mind!!! the angel motif ended up becoming such a central part of this fic pdhjdjd BUT U GET IT OFC U DO…. reader unintentionally corrupting him…. gojo viewing you as something almost other-worldly in how important u are… it’s like. you’re his guardian angel and he’s yours right back but in both cases it ends up twisted 😵‍💫😵‍💫

ok first of all these sentences are so beautifully written but i also love how he thinks about loving you. it's honestly 😭im kinda getting denji/makima vibes if denji/makima was a decent ship and makima was a good person yk 😭 AND I MEAN THAT WITH THE BEST OF COMPLIMENTS.. like the way the reader just controls him without even knowing, the way he would do anything (and literally everything) for the reader, etc. etc. reader's got the boy wrapped around their finger and they don't even realize i love it

SNIFFLE ALEXIS I AM HUGGING U GENTLY </3 im so glad u liked those lines they r the bread and butter of this fic tbh … BUT ALSO DENJI/MAKIMA????? ALEXIS????? I’M LOSING IT GRRRR HOW DID U KNOW I’M ILL ABT THEIR DYNAMIC…. 😞😞 no bc i can’t believe i didn’t think abt that… literally my fave example of the angel/dog dynamic….. it’s so perfect bc denji (my perfect little angel boy <33333 i kin him) isn’t malicious he’s just full of trauma and a yearning for love that he can’t satiate in a normal way :(( so he just clings to this goddess figure in his life… devoting everything to her….. it’s sooo yan!gojocore like truly you can do no wrong in his eyes. ”if my girl is wrong i will simply reshape reality so that she’s right” bf

all the orpheus/eurydice, heaven on earth, angel, the title imagery makes me want to gnaw on this fic until im left with the bones. like the reader isn't even human to him anymore. if anything, instead of guiding him to salvation, they are his salvation and i just mmm. mmmmmm. i need him

U GET IT U GET IT U GET IT U GET ITTTTTT reader is his salvation!!!!! so true!!!!!! you are all that is good!!!!!! and he’d do anything to keep ur light from dwindling out :(((( he makes me feel a little ill i’ll be honest THIS IS ALL UR FAULT ALEXIS my thoughts r filled with this silly little beast </3

ARIII IM GONNA CHOKE 😭what did reader do to him to make him this delusional i wonder.. it doesn't even matter bc this is so well written. the way he thinks he's protecting the reader, and in a small sense he is, but he keeps it a secret bc he not only KNOWS its wrong, but he also knows that the reader would be horrified/disgusted if they ever found out. and he's not as delusional to think that his actions will never come back to him either, but for reader, he'd do anything i just... i just....

alexis have i mentioned that i would do literally anything for u……. u just Get it so effortlessly i’m so happy this could get even a sliver of ur approval i am feasting on all ur words HE’S SO….. he’s soooo Sane he just doesn’t really care abt the consequences…. he’s a spider masquerading as a butterfly thinking he can trap all flies that touch you in his web but one day one of you will be tangled up in it and that’s just so :((( yan!gojo is so Doomed. he wants to be a good man so bad but he wants you to be happy even more. sniffle.

IM KISSING UR FOREHEAD AGGRESSIVELY + SPINNING U AROUND !!!!!!!! this made my whole year alexis u are so sweet to read this and to write this out it means sm to meeeee T~T AND TYSM FOR BRINGING YAN!GOJO INTO MY LIFE he made it worse <3333 i love him though. our deranged little bug boy. I LOVE U ALWAYS if u need me to threaten any prof at any given moment hmu <33

you’re an angel, i’m a dog ; satoru gojo

synopsis; an upcoming exam has been stressing you out, and satoru’s pleas for you to take care of yourself fall on deaf ears. he takes matters into his own hands.

word count; 4.3k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, yan!gojo, as far as yanderes go he’s very mild i think (im sensitive u can trust me!!), mentions of blood, implied murder (not depicted!!), he threatens your professor w a knife lol, surprisingly fluffy??, gojo is soooo lovesick & smitten, he just wants his baby to live a happy life :( is that so wrong :((, also your parents love him <33 and he calls you honey <333 ideal man.

a/n; i blacked out & when i woke up this was in my drafts… mysterious. @kissxcore here u go alexis <33 one very smitten morally gray yan!gojo just for u!! i completely lost the plot halfway through but i had a lot of fun writing this!! :33 i don’t dabble in yan content at all so it was a fun lil challenge hehe, i hope it ended up . Somewhat .. decent…

satoru thinks you deserve everything good.

”haah…”

— the sigh spills into the air, dripping with exhaustion, a palpable fatigue that has his heart clenching.

just as he feared, you’re here. again. seated on the couch, in the living room, legs crossed and framed by flimsy strings of moonlight; illuminated only by the dim light of the laptop in front of you. carding through your hair, blinking sluggishly.

another sigh. deep, exasperated — from satoru, this time. he keeps a single hand on his hip, brows furrowed in soft disappointment. 

”honey… what do you think you’re doing?”

you jolt, the sudden sound breaking you out of whatever trance you were previously in. when your gaze flits to his, craning your head to see him rest against the wall leading up to your bedroom, he thinks you look a little like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

it makes him smile. despite his disapproval.

”ah — satoru! it’s… um.” a moment passes. he can practically see the gears of your mind turning, searching for a good excuse. ”… not what it looks like?”

he clicks his tongue. ”nice try.”

then he’s walking towards you, in long strides, gliding across the room like a butterfly in search of nectar. from the sweetest flower there ever was.

even when said flower is still awake, past midnight, pulling an all-nighter despite his frequent advice not to. his very frequent, very thoughtful advice not to strain yourself until you just about pass out.

but you just won’t listen.

”’m disappointed in you, baby,” he huffs, just playful enough to ward off any genuine feelings of distress. he could never truly be disappointed in his baby. ”what did we say about studying this late, hm?”

a sheepish chuckle slips past your lips. satoru is standing in front of you, hands on his hips, raising a questioning eyebrow as you squirm. lighthearted, yes, but genuine. it makes you feel a little guilty.

”… sorry,” you breathe, closing the lid of your laptop. knowing he won’t let you stay up any longer. with the loss of light, your face becomes shrouded in darkness. ”just can’t sleep when i’m so stressed.”

at that, satoru makes a tiny noise — something worried, a little sad, from the base of his throat. a soft frown finds its way onto his lips, and he blinks the sleep away from his senses. plopping down beside you.

”i know. i’m not trying to lecture you,” he croons, reaching out to cradle the apple of your cheek. you melt into him like molten honey, easy and sweet. ”just worried. know you’re stressed.”

and he does. he does know — it’s all he’s been able to think about, these past few weeks. to his dismay, he’s even begun to grow used to this sight, used to findist you in the midst of working yourself to exhaustion. fighting the urge to sleep, slumped over your desk, or cooped up on the couch. staring into your laptop like it holds the secrets of the universe.

time and time again, he’s told you to take care of yourself. tried to coax you into relaxing, rubbing your sore shoulders and kissing the puffy skin beneath your eyes. but this exam is important — you’ve told him as much, more times than he can count. he doesn’t doubt that you’re right. 

of course you’d be stressed. he gets it.

still, though.

”but you know it’s not good, yeah? that it’ll just burn you out?” his thumb goes to smooth over the dark crescents beneath your eyes, gentle as a feather. ”we don’t want that, do we?”

you bite your lip. trapping it between your teeth. he knows you know. ”… yeah,” you admit, a flimsy little sigh on your tongue. ”it just feels easier to do this at night. don’t know why.”

”my little night owl.”

that makes you smile, a little, but it’s not enough to satisfy him. he curls an arm around your waist, and drags you into his lap; gentle, always gentle, like all that exists under your skin is made of porcelain. like the lines of your face form a string of words, a label of fragile: handle with care. he always does.

with his heartbeat by your ear, his warmth melting into yours, it’s easier to speak. a pressure on your chest that fades away. ”i’ll try not to do it again,” you murmur, biting back a soft yawn. nuzzling into his neck. ”promise. don’t wanna worry you…”

satoru softens. 

(always so good to him.)

”it’s fine, honey. i understand.” he smiles, smoothing down your spine, counting the bumps of vertebra that slide along his palm. ”don’t worry that pretty little head of yours over me, alright?”

in return for his comfort, you wriggle away, lifting your head to give him a smile. one of your many smiles, each one fervently cherished by him; the one you’re wearing now is tired, a soft curl of your lips, the kind that makes him want to lull you to sleep. just the sight alone makes the anxiety in his veins feel like a worthy investment.

he doesn’t tell you anything that could cause that joy to diminish. doesn’t tell you that he can’t sleep without you, that he can barely breathe knowing you’re this stressed all time. doesn’t tell you that he jolted awake with a sinking feeling of dread, a gaping pit in his stomach when he didn’t immediately feel the warmth of your skin against his. doesn’t tell you that he always, always assumes the worst.

satoru doesn’t tell you these things. it’s a safety measure, an act of love. a bundle of unvoiced syllables, woven into white lies, silky and sweet. tailor-made to put your aching mind at ease. 

satoru thinks you deserve everything good.

it’s a theory, of sorts, a train of thought. a hypothesis made manifest. after many years of pondering, he’s arrived at the following conclusion; you are all that’s good. therefore, it only follows that you deserve everything that’s good, all of it and more. satoru believes you deserve every single thing your little heart desires — and he’s determined to give it to you.

so he’s been worried.

it’s not that he doesn’t trust you. he knows you’ll ace the exam, knows you’ll do your very best, knows you’ll make him proud. you always do. you aren’t the problem, no, never.

he just doesn’t trust your professor. 

that unfair, stuck-up, incompetent professor who’d fail his students just for being a couple minutes late, who curates his exams to be as convoluted as humanly possible. you and your friends are starting to suspect he just likes berating people for a living. satoru knows it all, he’s heard it all, of course he has. satoru pays attention to everything, when it comes to you. he knows all about your professor, the man who’s been making your studies pure hell for the past semester.

it makes his blood boil. steady, ruminating, hot and heavy in his veins. a rivulet of lava.

(it was only a matter of time.)

satoru is a teacher too; he knows that type. one that has no business being a teacher, in the first place, one no student deserves to be subjected to. he’s met more of them in his career than he could even begin to count. the thought of one of his own students being at the mercy of someone so incompetent makes his skin itch.

and the thought of you, seated on the couch, crying and sniffling when he comes home because none of the exam questions made enough sense for you to even try —

it makes satoru want to claw his skin off.

it makes that tiny, tiny cavern in his heart extend, widen, like a maw, swallowing up his liver and lungs and sense of morality. an emptiness begging to be filled. 

there’s only one way to satiate it.

so he plants a wet kiss on your forehead, ruffles your hair, tucks you into bed and waits until you fall asleep. deep and heavy, a slumber you won’t wake up from anytime soon. he presses his lips to your forehead one more time — for good measure.

then he grabs his coat and slips outside.

the moon is visible through the window.

a thin crescent, nailed next to the dim stars, leaking a dream-like fluorescent shine; illuminating the office, so quiet he can hear those erratic breaths spill out, one by one. a heavy, heavy silence, thick enough to spread like butter over toast. 

(ah, that’s right — he forgot to buy the butter you asked for this morning. no wonder he feels so out of sorts. he’ll have to grab it on his way back.)

”who… w — what are — ?”

satoru stays silent. lips pursed, eyes keen, burning into the back of the man in front of him. close, almost chest to back, enough to have him scowling in displeasure. 

just being in his presence makes satoru feel a little sick. 

he keeps the blade pressed right beneath his adam’s apple, a silver glimmer in an office painted blue and gray. not enough to sink into his skin, but enough to have his heartbeat hammering, enough that satoru can practically feel those rapid flutters of life. brushing against his gloved hand.

he gets straight to the point. voice muffled by the fabric covering his mouth, low enough that it’s barely even audible. he’s careful, about this kind of thing. there’s a delicacy to the ill intent, something he’d be a little enamored with if it weren’t for the compass stuffed into his ribs — the compass that tells him this is wrong.

he just can’t bring himself to care.

”the upcoming exam.” his voice sends a shiver down the man’s spine. satoru can feel it. ”don’t fail a single student.”

silence. pure silence, suffocating them, tangling itself into the air. satoru can practically taste it — fear, familiar, that pang of panic. a ticking time-bomb. the knife stays pressed against warm skin, pushing, sinking, just a little, a drop of red against his pale throat. 

it’s enough to get your professor to make a little noise, one that vaguely resembles a whine. like that of a small animal, rolling over on its belly, eager to play dead. no word is spoken in reply, but he nods, just barely, a nervous tremble of his head.

satoru hums, approving. ”good.” he doesn’t loosen his grip. ”there’s a particular student i’m worried about. marked them down in the catalogue... i’m counting on you.”

another noise. a grunt of affirmation, a silent plea — satoru allows that fear to seep into his own bones, just a little, just to get a taste of it. cold on his tongue. he wonders if this is what helplessness feels like.

then he takes a step back. slow, tentative, dragging the knife with him. not before parting his lips once more. ”don’t turn around,” he warns. ”i’ll be back if there are any complications. this’ll be our little secret, hm?”

the man in front of him doesn’t say a thing. frozen in fear, paralyzed, not moving an inch. a fly trapped in his web. it’s a relief.

before he exits the room, satoru puts the final nail in the coffin. just in case. ”i happen to know what school your daughter goes to.” he waits for a flinch, and it comes almost instantly. like clockwork. “remember that.”

it’s an empty threat. your professor doesn’t know that, though. he doesn’t know that satoru knows his daughter, that he walks past her preschool almost every morning on his way to work. that she waves to him whenever he passes by, and that he makes it a point to always wave back. a little troublemaker; the rowdiest of utahime’s preschoolers. she has a bubbly laugh, and just lost one of her milk teeth. she was giddy when she showed him, a bout of giggles spilling from her lips as he cooed and ruffled her hair. 

he wouldn’t lay a finger on her. 

but your professor doesn’t know that, hasn’t got a single clue, and satoru delights in the fear that must be running through his veins. down his spine, crawling into every narrow of his skeleton, making a home for itself that he’ll never quite be able to root out.

a gulp. satoru hears it, in the quiet of nightfall, just before he shuts the door behind him. good.

the rest of the evening is a blur. satoru gets home, relieved to find you still asleep, and tucks you into his chest. makes a mental reminder to order your favorite take out tomorrow; a little reward for your hard work.

finally, he can sleep easy. knowing you’ll get what you deserve. 

three weeks later, satoru places his hand on the familiar doorknob in front of him, dragging his weight behind him. blinking sluggishly. 

there’s a sinking feeling in his chest, weighing him down — like an anchor tied to his liver. a compass, tucked between his fourth and fifth rib, one that’ll always stay lodged right there. he’s learned to grow used to it, a natural consequence, a sign that his humanity is still intact. 

that doesn’t make it any less bothersome, though.

(ridding the world of a pest shouldn’t make him feel dirty. especially when he felt nothing but contempt for the pest in question, for the way he whistled as you walked by, the words he spewed before satoru met his eye. vile. putrid. why should he feel guilty for wiping a stain off the pavement?

it does make him feel dirty, though. a sinking feeling in his chest.)

there’s nothing to be done about it. satoru swallows the unpleasant taste on his tongue, and drags the door open, closing it behind him with a softness he reserves for you alone.

and there you are.

on the couch, farther away, already looking his way — lips instantly curling up into what he knows will be a smile. this time, it’s laced with excitement. one of his personal favorites. his gaze devours the joy in your features, the glimpse he gets of your teeth, that familiar crinkle of your eyes. 

you’re smiling. at him. you smile and his world wakes up, it’s dyed in different shades of blue, it’s brimming with life and love and something too good not to kill for. you smile and everything is right, good, worth it. you smile and it's as if the blood has been washed off his hands.

suddenly, all is well again. satoru exhales a blissful little breath.

“‘m home, honey,” he grins, a light pink dusting his cheeks, hanging his coat up before turning to face you. arms wide open. “did you miss me?”

his heartbeat stutters when you practically engulf him, all giddy giggles and that perfect smile, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. “mhm,” is what you chirp, pressing kisses down his collarbone, and he has to bite down on his lip to stop the shivers trailing down his spine. he tastes iron, but laps it up with a coo. sickly-sweet.

“missed you too, precious,” he purrs. “sorry i was gone for so long — had to take care of something.” 

he cups the back of your skull with his palm, large and crafted just to hold you, and marvels at how much you trust him. how you’re melting into his chest, fitting into every crevice of his heart. he wants to keep you there forever. forever and ever, always within reach, always close enough to touch. 

but he also wants you to be happy. he wants to see you run away, wherever the wind takes you, if only so he’ll get to feel you jump into his arms again, when you’ve had your fill of the world. when you come home to him, where you both belong.

satoru would never cage you in. never, never, never. he wants you to enjoy your life — confining you wouldn’t do any good, would only stifle that pretty smile he loves so dearly. he wants your world to be large, brimming with life, blooming with fervor, wants the air to be clear enough for your beautiful lungs. he couldn’t build a world for you, here, in this apartment. no matter how big or luxurious. 

so his only option is to bend the world into a kinder shape — twist and mold until it forms a path good enough for you to follow.

(it’s worth it, he knows, he’ll always know. it’s worth it to see that smile.)

“is that a new coat?” you ask, naive and innocent, and it breaks him out of his thoughts, attention wired to the lilt of your voice.

“yeah.” it’s stylish, expensive, a nice shade of black. he had to throw the last one away. this one’ll hide the stains better. “looks nice, right? i’ll get you the same one, pretty.”

“you don’t have to, toru!” you hurriedly exclaim, knowing he’ll jump at the opportunity to spoil you. “i like the one i have now!”

satoru pouts. a soft huff, right by your ear. “you don’t wanna wear matching coats?” he feigns sadness, scratching softly at your scalp, drinking up the little purrs that bubble up in your throat. 

and you giggle. you giggle and all he can think is worth it, worth it, worth it. a stained coat or two means nothing. the blood on his hands is just insurance. 

“well, when you put it like that…” you shift a little, curling your arms around his neck, breathing him in. he wonders if you can smell the cleaning detergent. “i guess i wouldn’t mind a new coat.”

and he grins. like clockwork. “right? want me to buy you new shoes while i’m at it? some jewelry?” he peppers kisses down your neck, amusement laced in his voice. “the whole store?”

again, those giggles. again and again. he laps them up like fine wine. “okay, that’s too much.”

“but you deserve it!” he whines, sickeningly sweet. sick to his stomach with love. “been working so hard, my angel.”

and, suddenly — you light up. his little firefly. brightening, inhaling a giddy breath. pulling away, a little, and he does his best to bite back the frown on his face. you’re practically beaming, sunshine personified, eyes glittering with giddy joy.

“right! i almost forgot!” 

then you’re skipping away, happily, to retrieve your phone. and he knows what you’re going to show him, but still feigns surprise when he sees the score on your exam, that perfect 100 on the screen. still makes an expression of shock that he knows will get you to laugh, still picks you up and spins you around and tells you how proud he is.

he almost, almost feels bad, seeing you smile so wide; at what you assume to be the fruits of your own labour. almost feels ashamed, knowing that perfect 100 wouldn’t exist without the knife at your professor’s throat.

but, then again, this is how it should be. those numbers are the fruits of your own labour, because satoru is a part of you. and you deserve it, deserve it more than anyone — he knows you would have gotten it, even without his help, if your professor was competent enough to see your brilliance. 

satoru smiles. he is proud of you. and this is exactly how it should be. he’s just bending the world into its rightful shape, cutting strings from a wrongly woven web, righting the wrongs of the people around you.

you, you, you. the only thing that exists.

all of him is for you.

”i knew you could do it. never doubted you for a second, baby,” he smiles, so wide his cheeks hurt, and you return it with a kiss to his jaw. 

”thank you. i’m just so relieved,” you exhale a breath, heavy, and it’s like he can practically see the stress melting, slipping from your shoulders and eyes. worth it, worth it, worth it. ”gosh. i’m gonna sleep like the dead tonight.”

”as you should,” satoru chirps, pinching your side. softly, brimming with fondness. ”but before that, we’re gonna celebrate. all day. and tomorrow too!”

another smile coaxed from your lips; this time, it’s a little bit shy. bashful, at the praise, his endless excitement. so precious he wants to kiss you breathless. give you all the air in his lungs.

so precious that he forgets about everything else. 

this is what you always do to him; wrap him up in a blanket of your love, cloud his veins with a nectar so sweet he takes the leap into your arms without a second thought. a foolish, lovesick butterfly, sticking to a single rose; dripping with honey, overflowing. the butterfly is too drunk on love to care. 

you’re his flower, his joy, the most useful form of anesthesia. with you in his veins, on his mind, your lips on his jaw — satoru can pretend that his hands are clean. that they always have been.

it all slips from his mind. your professor, the creep who catcalled you, that one classmate you’ve been complaining about recently. he forgets that they even exists, and satoru thinks that must be what love is: something that narrows your world down until you can make a home out of it. 

(something worth cherishing, no matter the cost.)

as always, it’s your voice that snaps him out of the trance he’s in. turning around at the sound of your call, the orpheus to your eurydice, too in love to save you from himself. you’re both getting ready to head out, dressing up for a well-deserved date. 

satoru feels himself smile. he does the dirty work, and you get to reap the rewards. heaven on earth.

“oh, by the way! would you want to have dinner with my parents tomorrow?” you meet his absent gaze with a tilt of your head. “they’ve been asking about you again. it’s such a headache, seriously.”

satoru giggles, barely containing how delighted he is. raising a playful brow. “oh? grumpy that you aren’t the favorite child anymore, hm?”

“okay, first of all —“ you stifle a giggle, pulling a drawer open, rummaging through it. freshly washed clothes. he washes most of your things. “you aren’t their child. and second of all —“

“— yet.”

a pause. 

satoru watches your gaze flick over to him, then back to the drawer, collecting yourself. a cute flush to your cheeks. “… whatever.” you clear your throat. “second of all — i don’t like how much they like you. what kinda spell did you put them under? it’s always satoru this, satoru that!”

a huff fills the air, and you mutter something that sounds a little like mocking, an obnoxiously imitated where’s satoru? that makes him chuckle into his fist. 

he shrugs. “i’m just a natural charmer, y’know? and, for the record; i would love to have dinner with them.” he sends you a wink, playful, and you roll your eyes. “are you joining us?”

a bout of laughter pushes past your lips, and satoru thinks he could die happy — just soaking up the joy that spills from out your throat. he wishes he could live in it, paint your house in it, wear it. he wants your joy to be all he ever feels. he feels sick at the idea of ever being out of earshot for it.

“yes, i’m joining you.” your scoff is dripping with humour. ”i’d hate to be the fourth wheel, but it is what it is.”

satoru stifles a grin. ”lucky me. three beauties all to myself,” he drawls, a seductive lilt to his voice, just to hear that little noise you always make with the back of your throat. vaguely disgusted.

”you’re so gross.”

a coo. like the buzzing of a bee. ”don’t be jealous, honey. know you’re my favorite, don’t you?” satoru smiles — more sincere than you’ll ever know. ”could never love anyone else.”

”so my parents are in second place?” you quirk a brow, amusement lacing your words, and he clicks his tongue. 

”well, they made you. i’d have to be a fool not to worship artists of such caliber.” 

”charmer.”

”yours.” the word is a knife at his throat, a stain on his coat, a love so heavy it’ll burn him alive. ”only yours.”

and again, you smile. all he can think is that you deserve everything, everything that’s good, everything he could ever give you. it’s all he can think as you go about your day, as he leads you outside, as he watches a flicker of joy dance within your iris. as he watches you walk wherever your heart takes you.

the thought remains when you return home, when you wrap yourselves in blankets and he throws a leg over your waist and you curl an arm around his ribcage. it’s all he can think. 

satoru was born to be of service — to someone, to the world, to something or another. he was born to carry a weight on his back. 

so why not bear the weight of your burdens?

all he wants is to protect you. all he’ll ever need is that smile on your face. he was always bound to be just this: a dog at your heels, a halo around your head, the watchful eye keeping you safe from everything rotten in this world. he’s the butterfly, the spider, the web itself. he’ll never let you be tangled up in it.

he was born to be of service to you. so service you he will, until it all comes back to bite him.

“satoruuu — stop stealing the blanket!”

he prays it never will.