#no SAME i literally don't know if i want kids either but that return of superman episode did my. head (and my ovaries). in. so here we are

[forhyune]

‧ ❆ ˚ everything has changed (besides myself)・l.f.

— you spend three years loving him, six months losing him, and four hours waiting for him to get the hell out of your house. but the human heart is more stubborn than you know.

words・5.4k

pairing・lee felix x gn!reader

genres・babysitter!au, girldad!lix, nobody look at me, toothrotting fluff, more angst than originally intended tbh, exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, happy ending yayyy, non-linear storyline

warnings・cousin has a korean name and experiences one (1) minor head bump, mc is temporarily heartbroken and experiences one (1) breakdown

playlist・house song by searows・glad by tori kelly・let's pretend by del water gap・you were good to me by jeremy zucker

a/n・hiiii my loves, i'm so unbelievably excited to bring u my first contribution to my and @astraystayyh's collaboration, "winter falls" ♡ every time i write for our ray of sunshine i'm reminded of how thankful i am to love him. this fic ruined me. hope it does the same to you (smile)

I. everything

“One day,” you muttered to the toddler sitting on your shoulders, “you’ll experience something deeply, irreversibly humbling, and I’ll be there to witness your downfall.”

Byeol responded to this with an unbothered babble. She then gathered two handfuls of your hair and yanked using far too much force to be biologically possible.

You folded like a lawn chair. “Mother—!”

Oh, that word was not suitable for button-sized ears.

“—oh, my dear mother, why? Why me?”

Technically speaking, your aunt should’ve been the target of your lamentations, but all she did was produce the child presently steering you around the kitchen like you were her own personal bumper car. Your own mother was the one who volunteered you to watch said child during the first weekend of your winter break. Only for an hour until the babysitter arrives, she’d said (raising her voice, so as to be heard over your groaning).

You adored Byeol. She made scarily accurate chipmunk sounds and possessed an immobilizing fear of grapes. She bust out a dance move before she took her first steps. The girl could have you floored with laughter without being able to say more than three words at a time. Still, this was far from how you imagined onsetting your desperately-needed few weeks off. Not to mention it was now half past three; your shift should’ve ended two minutes ago.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Byeol emitted an excited onomatopoeia like a golden retriever detecting the mailman. Your reaction wasn’t too far off; you swiveled your head in the sound’s direction, sang out “coming!” in a delighted vibrato, and twirled into the foyer, your hands around Byeol’s ankles anchoring her in place.

You cracked open the door and found yourself face-to-face with Byeol’s babysitter. The freckles scattered across his high cheekbones and sloping nose seemed to you like they were imprinted by the sun itself. His hair was dark, falling just shy of pitch black, and long, ending an inch or so below pierced ears. A few misbehaving strands rested over his forehead but did little to obstruct your view of his eyes: profoundly brown and pointed at either end, like poinsettia petals.

He was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. You felt your skin warm, your heart flip. You opened your mouth. 

Then Byeol hit her head against the vertical edge of the front door, loud enough for it to echo.

The panic that seized you in that moment was truly unlike anything you’d experienced before. You caught one glimpse of the stranger’s expression (as mortified as you expected), and then you were seeing your own epitaph on the inside of your eyelids, engraved with the four words “Death by Furious Aunt.”

“Was that—?” The man sputtered, and his voice was rich and full and accented and just as breathtaking as the rest of him and holy fucking shit now was not the time.

“My fucking god,” you whispered, completely forgetting to watch your mouth. In a hurry, you swung Byeol off your shoulders and dropped to a knee. You leaned in close to examine her reddening forehead and cradled the plush of her cheek; she blinked at you a few times, fascinated by the sudden sight of your face again.

“You okay, Byeollie? That hurt a lot, didn’t it? I’m so, so sorr—”

Byeol started to laugh.

Not laugh as in those little chuckles she let out randomly, like there was something inherently amusing about the kitchen cupboard, but laugh as in a boisterous, resounding guffaw, like a great-uncle at a family gathering off one too many martinis.

This rendered you speechless for the second time in under a minute. Then, you lifted your other hand to cradle her other cheek, her face now sandwiched between your palms, and squeezed.

“I broke my cousin,” you whispered, your voice was so deathly serious that the man in the doorway had to stifle a laugh of his own.

His knee brushed against your shin as he sat down to your left, folding his legs into a criss-cross. You could discern notes of lavender and orange blossoms in the delicate cologne that clung to him, perforated the air and your mind both.

“Can I?” He asked.

“Please.”

Carefully, you shifted Byeol’s small frame towards him; the manner in which he accepted her was so smooth and practiced that there was no doubt in your mind you were watching a professional at work. He settled her on his right knee, then dipped his head to look her in the eye.

“Hi, princess,” he cooed with a dulcet smile. He curved his pointer finger, dusted it beneath her chin. “Why are you laughing, silly girl?”

Oh.

Oh.

You might just continue your lineage after all.

“Y/N-ie,” she answered, still tittering.

He looked to you with a slight tilt to his head, and you nodded affirmatively. He murmured a quiet ah. “What about Y/N-ie?”

Somehow you sensed that she was about to embarrass you and pinched the bridge of your nose—in preparation.

“P-pretty.” I knew it!

The man let out the laugh he’d been holding back since earlier and tapped on her button nose, lowered his voice to a whisper that he knew you could hear.

“I agree.” His eye glinted playfully, matching his tone. “And so are you.” The bashful, high-pitched giggle she responded with sounded eerily similar to your inner monologue.

The two of you spent a little longer on the floor of the foyer making sure Byeol was okay, and then the girl upped and made a mad dash for the kitchen while yelling something about a horse, and if that didn’t confirm that she was completely fine (albeit incredibly strange) you didn’t know what would. You found her rolling around the carpet in the room adjacent to the kitchen and left her to her own devices while you and her babysitter fixed up a small fruit plate for her afternoon snack. No grapes, of course.

He told you he usually went by Felix, but that his Korean name was probably easier for Byeol to pronounce, with its easier consonants and whatnot. You asked which name he preferred, and he said either or. He was a recent college graduate, a year older than you, who was determined to spend at least the next two years doing nothing but working out his future. He accepted the part-time babysitting position to pick up some light cash in the process.

“And ‘cause I’m good with kids,” he added, splitting apart a tangerine. “So I’ve been told.”

“Oh, you definitely are,” you said, plating a couple blueberries. “You melted her earlier.”

“She melted me. She’s so cute. And you’re so cute with her—I didn’t realize I was robbing someone of their job.”

You turned your head to regard the tot and let out a helpless laugh. Byeol tired of being a human lint roller a few minutes ago and had since moved on to staring aimlessly out the window.

“She doesn’t take me seriously, and I can’t stay mad at her,” you mused. “I would be a nightmare as her babysitter, trust me. She’s all yours.”

Felix held out two overturned handfuls of tangerine slices, to which you quickly moved the platter across the counter. He didn’t respond to your comments as he placed them on the outermost edge so that they looked like rays of sun emanating from a multicolored core. Adorable.

“Will you be around much, then?”

You made eye contact with him across the counter. On his perfect face was a teasing smirk and a subtle blush. Ah, you’d been mistaken, writing off his silence as concentration—he’d been contemplating how to best flirt with you.

“Y’know. In case I need any help teaching her cuss words,” he appended.

It was then your turn to flush a couple shades darker. “Please don’t tell her mom.”

“I won’t, I won’t.” He walked around the perimeter of the counter until he was directly in front of you; the lavender and orange blossoms returned. “On one condition.”

Not even one hour on the job and he was already trying to blackmail you? You respected it. “Which is?”

As he shifted some of his weight onto the counter, something too shifted in his smile, giving it a quality that was every bit as hopeful as it was gentle.

It was then, while Lee Felix was looking at you like that, all dilated pupils and long lashes, when you predicted that he would one day break your heart. You predicted you’d let him.

“Be around,” he said simply.

It wasn’t a question or a demand. In hindsight, you think it was more akin to a birthday wish, ill-fated the moment it hit the air.

II. has changed

Felix pulled Byeol’s hood up and over her ears, and you realized he was right about the winter coat getting too small for her—she looked like a bowling pin. You muffled your snort into your scarf.

“And what was the last rule again?” He asked, his breath puffing into the frigid afternoon in tiny clouds. Byeol sighed like she knew anything of the world’s woes.

“No barking at other kids,” came the sad reply, but a toothy smile spread across her face anyways when Felix nudged the underside of her chin. She loved when he did that.

“That’s my girl,” he hummed. “I believe in you.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” you said, and the wounded look Felix shot you was like you’d just confessed to hating kittens. “Come on—she doesn’t have a good track record. I’m allowed to have my doubts.”

“I dunno what that means,” Byeol announced with admirable frankness, and then turned around and scurried down the porch stairs, scattering fun-sized footprints across the snowy streets.

As you braced yourself to follow her, Felix stopped you with a slip of his hand into the pocket of your puffer. His fingers first aligned with yours inside the insulated nylon, then chased the spaces in between. He leaned in close, placed a kiss on the apple of your cheek, another on the corner of your mouth. This brought a helpless smile to your face, too. He had a way of melting you and Byeol both.

“It’ll be fine,” he soothed. “A little barking never hurt anybody, baby.”

“Lix, last time somebody called animal control.”

“Ermm—a little barking never hurt most people.”

That winter, Byeol was four, and your relationship with Felix was about to turn two.

Funnily enough, you’d never figured out when your anniversary actually was. Felix wagered it was the day you met, as he knew he loved you the instant he saw you; you insisted it was months later, since it took both of you an entire summer vacation of open-ended flirting and informal dating to label yourselves for real. Imagine your horror when he showed up outside your college apartment the day before your graduation, arms overflowing with flowers and gift bags brimming with your favorite things, the phrase “happy anniversary” on his lips three months before you perceived it to be. You’ve celebrated both days ever since.

You loved the ocean growing up. You didn’t get to visit it often, but when you did you would run up to the water’s very edge so that your toes dipped into the cold—and just stand there, observing, absorbing, until even the seam of your lips and the ends of your eyelashes were studded with crystals of seasalt. You found endless tranquility in its rhythmic whispers and unspeakable comfort in its oscillating waves, guaranteed to return after momentary departure.

Your fascination stemmed from the folktale your mother used to read to you before bed, about a sun goddess creating the earth. In the story, every component of nature was one of the sun’s beloved children. She allegedly loved them all, but you suspected the ocean was her favorite; it was obvious, the way she twinkled off its ebbing surface, the way every minuscule spot of light looked to you like a handprint of hers, left behind by eons of endless doting.

Felix reminded you of the ocean. Every day you grew more certain that you wanted to drown in him, to let his resonant voice and kind eyes sweep and keep you inside his depths. It was never salt that he pressed into your skin but warmth, stamped and sealed with caring hands and cautious lips. His deep whispers promised eternal love and temporary ecstasy and everything in between. You knew he would come back to you even if stranded in a different realm. And there was no questioning the goddess’ favoritism, either. The freckles on his face mirrored the sun’s very spots like an homage to his creator.

You didn’t love the ocean growing up, no. You had never loved before Felix.

The park was busy when the three of you arrived. Byeol and Felix recognized a few families as your aunt’s neighbors and hurried over to say hello. Your social butterflies. 

“I’ll be over there,” you called after them.

Felix stopped in his tracks, looked over his shoulder. It had started snowing lightly on your walk there, and snowflakes now sat atop his sable locks. He looked like a painting. “You okay?”

“Yes, yes.” You shooed them off. “Don’t worry about me. Go have fun.” 

With that, you withdrew to the sidelines, an unoccupied swingset adjacent to a baseball diamond covered in frost. 

Your baby cousin was brawny for her age, which you could’ve seen coming with how she was hauling at your hair two years ago, but even she couldn’t yet terrorize the playground without assistance. Who better to make her partner in crime than her favorite Bokkie? You couldn’t help but giggle as the two revolved around each other for the better part of an hour, Byeol’s smile colossal as she frolicked every which way, Felix’s smile worried but hopelessly endeared as he followed behind. He never let her leave his shadow. She never tried to.

It always did something to you, seeing how good Felix was with Byeol, how good he was to her. But it was there on those icy swings that you experienced a moment of strange clarity, like you’d broken the fourth wall of your own story. You could feel the winds of change blowing your hair across your shoulders. You were aware of time’s trickling from the gaps of your fingers like liquid mercury.

Your laughter dissipated to a bittersweet smile; your smile mellowed to dewy eyes. It seemed like just yesterday when Byeol was small enough to sit on your shoulders and Felix stepped into your kitchen for the first time. Now, she was scaling a rope ladder with the celerity of a crazed monkey while Felix hovered a wary hand by her waist. The muted sunlight caught on the silver rings he wore, particularly the thin, bright one on his middle finger. You had one just like it, adorning the same place. 

The last two years were the happiest of your life. Why couldn’t you remember where they went?

Lavender and orange blossoms announced your boyfriend’s arrival—that, and the sigh of fatigue that he expelled as he dropped into the swing next to you.

“I’m not cut out for this anymore.”

Byeol’s neighbor had temporarily relieved Felix of his post by taking her and his son to test out the seesaw, and you wouldn’t be surprised if the whole town could hear her enthusiastic shrieking.

“You know how people walk their dogs?” You mused. “Some dogs walk their people. She’s one of them.”

For a moment, he could only stare in disbelief at the grin creeping across your face; then, he groaned in a way that could only mean you were right on the money. You gave his thigh a sympathetic pat.

“You’re whipped, my love. It’s okay.”

“Maybe a little,” he admitted, suddenly perking up. “Hey, no barking though.”

“Are we considering that a win nowadays?”

“Do you see animal control anywhere?”

“Good point.”

Felix monitored your expression during the quiet interval that ensued—saw through the melancholy curve of your lips, the pensive slant of your gaze. There was a red tinge to the whites of your eyes that hadn’t been there before.

You saw him reach for you in your periphery. His fingers brushed a lock of hair behind the shell of your ear, remained there for three slow heartbeats, and then lifted away.

“Angel,” he murmured. “Talk to me.”

You shook your head. “It’s silly.”

“It’s not.” Not even ten seconds after the last time, he reached for you again, now to take your hand and bring it to his lap. “You know it’s not.”

“It’s just that—”

Felix thumbed over the ridges of your knuckles, his touch so gentle that it could’ve unraveled a chrysalis; it certainly unraveled you. You took a stabilizing breath.

“I wish could recognize my own happiness in the moment,” you sighed, “not just in retrospect. That way, even when it comes to an end, I’d still be able to look back and say with confidence that I was happy once. I’d like that, I think.”

His brows knit together as he processed your words, and, the next thing you knew, he left his swing trembling in his sudden absence and his trenchcoat became a black blur in the cold air.

Felix rested his elbows atop your knees as he knelt in front of you, cradled your face in his hands. He was achingly beautiful always, but you truly felt your breath swiped from your lungs at the new proximity of his ethereal features: petal-shaped eyes, wind-bitten cheeks, coral cupid’s bow. A painting.

“That’s easy enough,” Felix hummed. “How do you feel right now?”

You had zero agency in the smile this brought to your face. You wrapped your hands around his wrists, your answer quick, thoughtless. “Happy.”

He pressed his lips to the space between your eyes. “And now?”

“Happier.”

He pressed his lips to the curve of your jaw. “What about now?” 

“Even happier.”

His gaze flickered to his final destination, but you beat him to it, sealing your mouth against his with urgency. The kiss that followed was so intensely loving that your head went fuzzy. How was it that you felt his adoration for you even in his pliant lips, his velvet tongue? You ran your fingers through the part of his hair. You loved when you could feel the locks flutter back into place afterwards.

“GET A ROOM!”

You and Felix pulled away from one another, wearing matching expressions of bewilderment. Byeol was approximately five Newtons away from soaring off into the stratosphere, her legs jostling around as she clung to her seat for dear life. It seemed your neighbor had a very aggressive way of seesaw-maneuvering. It seemed your cousin had a very aggressive vocabulary.

“Where did she learn—?” The two of you began in unison, then shot your heads back towards each other.

“It had to be you.”

“Outrageous—you’re the Australian here!”

“You cuss like one too!”

“Because of you!”

“So we’re just lying now?”

“Well, yes.”

Felix cracked a smile—and then the two of you were dying of laughter, his right eye squinting closed and your forehead thudding onto his shoulder. You hardly managed to get out your next words. “We have to do something about her vernacular, don’t we?”

“Oh, badly,” he replied. “Badly.”

After you expended your giggles, you nuzzled into the crook of his neck, blissful, glowing. “Thank you, baby.”

“What for?”

“Being my happiness.”

He angled your face back to his and kissed you once more, whispering I love you like it wasn’t enough that it graced your ears; he needed it embossed upon your flesh in permanent ink.

Your intermingled breaths floated up into the air like flare signals over a capsizing boat. Here marks the time we were happiest.

III. (besides myself)

He’s blonde.

That’s the first thing you notice when you see your ex-boyfriend on your aunt’s porch: the slightly off-white color of his silky tresses, grown out longer than you’ve ever seen, pushed off his forehead and tucked behind his ears.

It’s not the only thing you notice, of course. His face has thinned ever so slightly, the shadows thrown over his features by the streetlights behind him particularly opaque. His outfit is glorious, expensive, with the black blazer and white dress shirt, the top two buttons undone, the pendant of a silver necklace resting between toned collarbones. His hands are almost overflowing with what must be gifts for your family. It’s impossible to discern all of them from this distance, but you know the bouquet of white poinsettias is for your mom, the batch of brownies doused in sprinkles and icing for Byeol.

But the hair is where your gaze returns, because tucked among the platinum strands are black roots: millimeters of the color you grew to adore, peeking out as if trying to catch a glimpse of you, too.

You’re so occupied with this game of “I spy” that you don’t notice the rampant footsteps coming up behind you. Your six-year-old cousin collides with the back of your leg head-on and nearly topples you like a bowling pin.

“Is it him?” She asks breathlessly.

You come this close to berating her as you steady yourself against the wall—what did I say about treating human beings like couch cushions? But you look down to see her chin resting on the side of your thigh, her eager eyes shining so brightly that she puts her own namesake to shame. Your scolding tirade dissolves on your tongue like popping candy.

You simply sigh instead. “Yes, but—”

“BOKKIE!” She shrieks, and Felix’s head snap upwards at the sound of her voice. His tender smile melts some of the frost laminating your heart.

You crack open the door, making eye contact with Felix for the first time in six months.

“Put everything down. Quickly,” you whisper, and he obeys right away, alarmed by the urgency in your voice. A wise choice.

The last present has hardly touched down upon the wooden planks when Byeol wriggles through the doorway and charges towards Felix like an angered toro. He swivels at her bright holler of his name, lowers himself to a squat just barely in time to catch her in his embrace. The delighted laugh that leaves his mouth as he staggers backwards sounds like the sun itself; you feel lost in orbit hearing it again.

“Bokkie,” Byeol murmurs, her voice muffled in the dip of his shoulder, by the tightening of her arms around his neck.

“Hi, princess.” He kisses her temple, presses his nose against her hair. “Whoa, you’ve grown strong, haven’t you?”

“She takes taekwondo classes now,” you hum from above, and the shock in his face asks the very question that your poignant smile confirms. Yes, because of you.

Felix pulls away, cocoons her cheeks with cherishing hands. “Is that true?”

She bobs her head. “I want to be like Bokkie.”

And his eyes go impossibly, terribly soft, like he’s gazing at the horizon itself. The sight twists the knife in your gut and yanks on your tangled heartstrings. It’s all because of you.

“And kick some ass!” Byeol adds, knocking you out of your sentimental spiral. You clap a defeated hand to your forehead. Felix falls over himself. So much for fixing her vernacular.

A few minutes later, Byeol is pirouetting towards the kitchen with a couple of Felix’s smaller presents in her arms, all too happy to be of help. You linger behind as Felix takes off his shoes, your cousin’s departure leaving the two of you alone in the dim foyer.

Felix straightens. The two of you come face to face. The air hangs so heavily with unspoken words that you half expect it to start dripping.

“Hi,” he says.

You nearly laugh at the cruelty of it. The man you were certain you’d grow old with greeting you like you’ve been forced to sit next to each other on the first day of school.

“Hi,” you answer. “You look—”

The two of you say this last part in unison; old habits die hard.

“—nice,” you finish.

“—beautiful,” Felix breathes, his eyes flicking off to the side abashedly.

Your throat constricts, pulse quickens. Says you. If he was a painting before, you think he’s a sculpture now, his perfection as tangible as if hand-chiseled by the greatest artists of old. As clear as the sun’s beloved sea. You can’t tell if it’s his stylist’s doing or simply a product of him growing into himself.

“Thank you,” you reply quietly. “And thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for inviting me. I didn’t think you would.”

“I didn’t do it for me.”

No part of you wants to see the subtle wince that crosses his face at your statement, so you turn your gaze to his jewelry-laden hands instead. 

For a split second, you swear you see the same promise ring settled in the same place on his middle finger. You realize what you’re really looking at only after blinking the phosphenes from your eyes: the thin tanline that it left behind. The realization fixes and destroys you all at once.

Then, Byeol starts wailing about Felix’s whereabouts like an actress hired to spare you from this very interaction.

“Her Highness beckons.” The smile you manage feels like drying cement. “Shall we?”

On your way to the kitchen, you notice the cologne emanating from his person smells only of citrus—no lavender. Its absence steadies you, deludes you into believing that it’s a stranger you’ve just let inside.

That illusion lasts for exactly three hours and forty-eight minutes.

It’s clear that the breakup has your family walking on eggshells, but it’s even clearer that their adoration for Felix has never wavered. You’ve never resigned yourself to the restroom so many times in one night, only to stand with your back against the door, unmoving, unfeeling, listening to the low thrum of his voice through the mahogany. Chatting comfortably with your aunt, bursting into laughter with Byeol, reminding you of the time you considered him family too. 

With every glance you toss your reflection, you discover new cracks in your composure. Has he noticed them yet?

After you come out of the restroom for the sixth time, you notice a light spilling from Byeol’s bedroom into the hallway. A low Australian accent graces your ears, followed closely by a tinkling giggle, and your body nudges you towards the sounds before your head can intervene.

You give your cousin’s door a feather-light nudge. It opens a few centimeters more and grants you vision of Byeol tucked into bed, Felix knelt at her side. Both of their faces are illuminated by the flaxen light of the nearby lamp.

Felix brushes her choppy bangs out of her eyes, a teasing smile on his lips. “Can I tell you a secret, princess?”

This wrests from her another fluttering laugh; you swear he’s the only person in the whole world who makes her shy. “Sure!”

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“Promise.”

“Not even Snernard.”

“M’kay.”

“Or Bong.”

“M’kay.”

“Especially not Trash the chicken. I don’t trust him.”

“I know, I know, I won’t!” Byeol huffs, and Felix laughs at her outburst. You also snort into your sleeve, amused (and deeply perplexed) by your cousin’s plushie-naming conventions.

“Thank you,” he hums, and he lowers his voice enough that you don’t catch the next thing he says.

All you perceive is the way that Byeol reacts. She sits up straight in bed, resting her back against her pillow. Her features rearrange themselves slowly, awfully, like the spread of cherry-flavored cough syrup over one’s sore throat, into the furthest thing from her trademark too-big-for-her-face smile.

Your stomach plummets to your fucking ankle.

“Why?” Her voice sounds microscopic.

“Well, do you remember what Bokkie’s dream job is?”

Byeol considers for a moment. “Being a singer?”

“That’s right.” He runs a knuckle over the hill of her cheek, the action achingly familiar, immensely fond. “And I found a place where I can do that, but it’s very, very far away. I won’t be able to come home very often.”

The telltale signs appear as he speaks; the final word sets them into motion. A tear streaks down the side of Byeol’s face. It hardly leaves the corner of her eye before it’s being intercepted by a doting swipe of his thumb.

“No,” she replies.

“You've grown so much.” Another tear falls. He wipes away that one, too. “You’re growing so well.”

“No,” she repeats.

“You’ve stolen the light of every star in the sky already. The whole galaxy will be yours someday, sweetheart. I know it.”

“I don’t want it,” she whispers. “I want my Bokkie.”

His vision starts to blur also. “But you don’t need me anymore.”

“We do.”

You know the precise moment Felix’s heart pauses in his chest because it is when yours does too.

“We?” He repeats, and she nods.

“Your dream job is being a singer.” Now Byeol is the one to reach for Felix, her delicate hand cupping the curve of his cheek. Her fingers are too small to catch his tears, she tries anyways—

“But what is your dream?”

It becomes too much for you.

You turn around. A choked sob escapes from behind the hand you have sealed to your mouth, causing both heads inside Byeol’s room to whirl in your direction. You don’t care that you nearly break both of your ankles beelining up the stairs; you only care to get the fuck out of that hallway.

You topple into your room, close the door behind you, and crumble.

Your quivering hands find purchase around your folded legs; your eyes squeeze shut against your knees. Rivulets of tears cascade over your shuddering lips like ruptured barrels of wine, left in the cellars of your soul to age, to spoil.

You never wanted your grief to see the light of day. Pouring your regret over every sidewalk wouldn’t change the past. Splashing your heartache across every wall like the world’s most fucked-up mural wouldn’t alleviate the pain of losing him. He was the one who left, but you were the one who’d asked him to. Feeling, yearning, mourning. Those always seemed so futile.

But you’re not just crying in this moment, rocking back and forth on your bedroom floor; you’re bleeding, the wounds you never treated igniting all at once as if exposed to vinegar, leaving you writhing and gasping in their wake. How you wish they’d been able to heal sooner. Maybe then seeing Felix tonight wouldn’t have splintered your soul like dropped porcelain.

Your door clicks open. Your breath hitches in your throat with a quiet scratch. The gulp of oxygen you intake tastes of oranges.

Every night before you fall asleep, you still think of the last time you visited the sea. The cool sand chafing against your toes, the coarse winds slapping your hair against your face hard enough to sting. The weather was terrible (you neglected to check the forecast before making the drive), but when you stepped onto the embittered coastline, you took what felt like the first real breath of your young adulthood. The fog melded to your skin as if melting a blindfold away, showing you the world in its entirety.

You return to that beach when Felix pulls you into his chest, and there’s no fog this time. Just the faint smell of lavender and your ocean, guaranteed to return after momentary departure.

Feverishly, Felix presses his lips to your temple, the apple of your cheek, rests his forehead against yours. Brokenly, he utters, “it’s you.”

You can feel his shaking in every part of him: the tickling breath, the fluttering eyelashes, the unsteady hand that reaches into the pocket of his blazer. You graze your fingers over his jaw, an attempt to steady his careening heart, only to lose yours in the fray also when he produces a small red box of unmistakable dimensions.

“God, it’s you. It always has been, always will be. Anything can change except for this.” His voice disintegrates as he speaks. You disintegrate as you listen. “Everything has changed besides myself.”

Felix leans back in to pepper kisses across the expanse of your wet features, then brings himself to one fated knee. He flicks open the lid. You don’t even spare the ring a glance; you don’t doubt its perfection. All you care to look at is the love of your life, deliquesced to adoration and tearwater.

“Thank you for being around, my dream.” His soft smile tends to your scars like ambrosia. “Will you let me do the same?”

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[thriftedtchotchkes]

come clean

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: joel comes home after a messy day on patrol, but you're already in the shower

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fluff, language, getting together, slow buildup, jackson era, smut, handjob, f!masturbation, fingering, unprotected piv, rough sex, shower sex, size kink

word count: 4.7k

a/n: this one goes out to emotional support daydreams! as always, thoughts and feedback are always appreciated. hope y'all enjoy 💕

Joel’s having a rough day. It’s late, and he’s bone-tired and covered in…well, he’s not really sure what he’s covered in. Mud and bits of dead grass, definitely, but there's splotches of red on his jeans, too. He couldn’t tell you whether it’s his blood or something else’s—the adrenaline still hasn’t completely worn off, so it’s entirely possible he’s not feeling the full extent of his injuries yet.

His day hadn’t started that badly, but it wasn’t a typical morning, either. Maria had stopped him and Tommy at the gate to ask if they'd mind checking out a situation at the dam instead of patrolling their usual route.

Apparently, some of the machinery was acting up and the only person she trusted to oversee the repairs was Tommy. She honestly hadn't given much thought to Joel's part in all of it—their relationship is still pretty tense, even after his return to Jackson, so he was just along for the ride.

Things went downhill fast after they arrived at their destination. No one's really sure how the infected got into the facility, but it was a lucky thing Joel was there after all. With the help of a few guards, they were able to dispatch everything in and around the building without any bites or serious injuries but, boy, did they make a serious mess. Of the facility and the machinery they were supposed to help fix, and of Joel.

So now here he is, exhausted and dirty, getting shit from his kid when all he wants to do is get clean and take a fucking nap.

“Ew, gross,” Ellie groans, clearly not giving two shits about how badly Joel’s day is going or how little she’s helping right now. She had the day off and is somehow still watching movies in the same spot he left her in this morning. “Stop touching things! You’re getting shit everywhere.”

He ignores her and shrugs off his coat, walking into the living room to toss it over the back of his recliner, but she throws him a dirty look that stops him in his tracks.

"Whatever, m'gettin’ in the shower," he grunts, dropping it on the doormat instead. He'll probably have to burn that coat anyway if the stains and…odor are anything to go by.

"Uhhhh, no, actually you're not," she says matter-of-factly, and he raises his eyebrows, eyeing her expectantly when she doesn't elaborate.

"Why the fuck not?"

"Did your hearing get worse or something? Shower's already on,” she nods toward the stairs. He’s not sure how he didn’t notice the sound of running water filtering down from the second floor earlier, but now he’s annoyed that he can’t shower and that she might actually be right about his hearing.

"Well then, I'm waitin' here," he sasses back, taking a seat on the recliner with zero regard to the upholstery.

"Dude!" She’s starting to look as exasperated as he feels. And her reaction isn’t unwarranted. If he touches literally anything in this living room, they’ll probably have to burn it, too.

"Fine, fine, m'not touchin' anythin'," he stands back up, holding his hands up in surrender. "How long's she been in there?"

"Like, five minutes. Probably gonna be a while, knowing her,” she replies with an amused grin. Oh, so she thinks this is funny.

"The fuck do ya expect me to do then, stand here ‘til she's out?" He asks as if it’s not exactly what he’s been doing the entire time they’ve been having this conversation.

"As long as you don't sit on any of the furniture, I don't really give a shit what you do," she shrugs.

He rolls his eyes at her, running a hand down his face in frustration. He’s just about to give up and hose himself down in the yard when she finally offers a solution.

"You could just knock and see if she'll swap out with you. She basically just got in, anyway."

“Y’know what, I think I will,” he grumbles, heading upstairs to the bathroom and leaving Ellie to her shitty 90s sci-fi thriller. She shakes her head, laughing as she slips on her headphones.

“Don’t be too loud up there!”

But with his bad ears, he doesn’t hear her.

God, you needed this shower so badly. It's been a rough day, to say the least, and it’s finally time to get the relaxation you deserve. You got saddled with an extra patrol shift because two of the usual guys had a last-minute change of assignment, and it turned a typical day into an unbelievably exhausting one.

But tonight you got lucky. There was no one around to use up all of the hot water besides Ellie, who’s been glued to the TV all day, and you miraculously got home before Joel. So tonight, you get to enjoy the expensive bottle of shampoo you found at some fancy store in some fancy mall last month, and let yourself forget for a while that there’s fucking fungus monsters out there eating people.

That is—until someone knocks on the door and ends your perfect evening before it begins. Now you’ve got soap in your eyes, and you’re slightly worried because Ellie either needs something from the bathroom or the house is on fire. There’s never an in-between with her.

“Ellie? Everything okay?” you call out, really hoping it’s not the latter.

The voice that responds is muffled and decidedly much deeper than Ellie’s, and you’re momentarily taken off guard before you realize it’s not a burglar. It’s Joel—of course, it’s Joel. He probably got off his shift late and wants to clean up, and now you feel bad for making him wait and using up all the hot water.

You can’t really hear what he’s saying over the shower, so you slide the curtain open to poke your head out. “What? Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

He tries to answer you again, or at least you think he does, but you still can’t make him out, so you tell him to come inside. The door only opens a crack, but it's so quick that there's no time to duck behind the curtain before Joel's face appears and you're both staring at each other blankly.

“…Hi,” you breathe out, praying it’s just your head and not the rest of your body peeking out. “So, um, what were you saying?”

He looks a little embarrassed and it’s adorable, but the thought only crosses your mind for a split second before you notice the rest of him. He’s—there’s really no nice way to say this, but he looks revolting.

There’s dirt everywhere. Matted in his hair, under his fingernails, all over his clothes. It looks like he’s been rolling around on the ground all day, and honestly, maybe he has. He’s also got…gross, is that a chunk of…? Nope. It looks like someone exploded in his face, and he needs a shower. Badly.

The only problem is you’re covered head-to-toe in soap, and you’re pretty sure you’ve only got about 15 minutes of hot water left.

He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry to barge in on ya,” he mumbles, looking pointedly away from you. “I came up here to see if you wouldn’t mind pausin’ your shower for a bit, but I, uh…can see that’s gonna be a little difficult.”

You look down at yourself and, yeah, he’s right. You’re dripping water and soap all over the floor. Getting out now would be a pain in the ass, but he also really needs to get in.

“No, no. It’s totally fine! It makes way more sense for me to sit around soapy than for you to, um, stand around like that,” you reason. It’s his turn to look down at himself, and he grimaces. “Just turn around for a sec and we can swap.”

He nods, still looking sheepish, but grateful.

You duck back into the shower to shut the water off and gather up your toiletries to make room for his. You’ve already shoved half of your stuff to one side before you realize it was probably just a waste of time because there was already plenty of space—and that's when it dawns on you.

This stall is pretty big—as far as showers go, anyway. There's no reason you can't both fit in here at the same time. It's also not like he's never seen you naked before. You joined up with Joel and Ellie long before running water was in the picture, so you've had your fair share of awkward bathing encounters. Really, it's just a matter of whether or not he'll go for it.

You pop your head back out, taking a second to admire those strong, broad shoulders of his before getting his attention. Damn, he's a real catch. Hot and respectful. But seriously, he's so disgusting right now and it would be a shame to allow that to continue.

"Hey, Joel," you start, and he glances back carefully over his shoulder. You hesitate for a beat before continuing, “So, hear me out—what if we just…if we both showered…at the same time…”

He looks confused, and you realize how badly you botched that entire sentence. Okay, so talking around it didn't work. You take a deep breath to steady yourself before trying again.

"Just—just get in with me," you say softly. "We can shower together."

His brow furrows, eyes unreadable. He looks like he might be thinking it over, but his silence isn't exactly the most encouraging reaction in the world. Subconsciously, you hold your breath while you wait for an answer.

There’s no way he’s going to go for this, is there? It’s Joel. He can barely look at you in a tank top without blushing, let alone wet and naked. You’re not even sure why you bothered asking. It was clearly a dumb—

“Yeah, guess that makes sense,” he nods, turning back to you fully, and you swear he’s looking at you differently. That's…not what you were expecting. Not that you're complaining in the slightest. He's not even trying to hide his eagerness, and you're starting to think maybe he was waiting for you to ask all along.

"Well, come on in, cowboy."

Joel undresses slowly, eyeing what little of you he can see greedily, and it makes your cheeks burn. It’s like he can’t look away—from your eyes and lips, your collarbone. Even the tiny droplets of water that fall from your hair. It feels more intimate than any moment you’ve ever shared with Joel, and he hasn’t even touched you. Yet, hopefully.

You’re getting impatient. He's making a show of stripping down and it's taking everything you have not to get out of the shower and rip all of his clothes off yourself. His fingers are so thick, and more and more of his tanned, weather-worn skin is exposed to you as they work to unbutton his shirt.

You’re pretty sure you’re drooling at this point, imagining those fingers sinking deep inside you before you can stop yourself. Fuck, you're pent up. And should probably have a lot more shame, but now he's unzipping his jeans, and you feel like you're about to combust.

You let out a pained noise without meaning to and he chuckles, shaking his head as he picks up the pace. "I'm comin', I'm comin'," he teases, dropping his pants to the floor. "Why don't you get the water goin' for me?"

Now you're the one having trouble looking away. Damn, who even is this guy? He’s nothing like the Joel you’ve known for years, and definitely not the Joel who stepped into this bathroom ten minutes ago. If you'd known it would go like this, you would’ve invited him to shower with you a long time ago.

He’s down to just his boxers now, and maybe it's wishful thinking, but he looks like he’s already hard. Swallowing is suddenly extremely difficult, so you shoot him one last appreciative look before doing what he asked.

You turn the water back on and it’s still pleasurably warm as it rains down onto your tense shoulders. The steady pressure soothes some of the nerves while you wait for him to join you, but you’re so caught up in the moment that you don't notice the curtain opening.

"Scoot over," he murmurs behind you, his breath fanning out over the back of your neck. He’s close, so much closer than you expected him to be. You assumed you’d be dancing around each other for at least a little while longer, but it seems like Joel knows exactly what he wants, and it’s not just the shower.

He reaches around you to grab that expensive bottle of shampoo you’ve been looking forward to, his fingers grazing your bare skin, and you shiver despite the heat of the water.

“Or you could stay right here,” he says, even closer now, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “We could help each other out—with washin’ up, I mean.”

You inhale shakily, your reply getting caught in your throat. “Y-yes—yeah, yes…we should definitely do that,” you breathe out.

He chuckles and the sound is surprisingly affectionate. It gives you hope that this won’t just be a one-time thing. That after all this time, he wants you as much as you want him.

You’re the first to initiate physical contact, reaching back to bury your fingers in his hair which, in retrospect, turns out to be a terrible idea. He’s still filthy, and your fingers get caught in tangles and dirt and…probably a lot of other nasty shit you don’t want to think about.

You snort out a laugh, turning around to face him. “I think you’re up first, handsome.”

The corners of his mouth tip up as he nods, and you can’t resist the urge to reach up and trace his bottom lip with your thumb. He kisses the pad of your finger, and you wish so badly that it was your lips.

For the second time tonight, you’re feeling incredibly impatient. You want to feel more of him, let him press you up against the wall and kiss you, touch you the way you both want him to, but it’ll have to wait.

You pluck the bottle from his hands and squeeze a huge dollop into your palm, telling him to turn around with a small smile. His eyes drop to the quirk of your lips for a moment too long before he obliges, and you’re starting to realize he’s getting impatient, too.

You reach up to thread your fingers into his graying hair and, somehow, the strands still feel soft despite everything tangled up in them. It’s going to take a decent amount of scrubbing before it’s back to its normal, fluffy state of disarray, but you’ll make it feel good for him. A little taste of what's to come.

He tips his head back as you massage in the shampoo, letting out the softest groan when your fingernails scratch along his scalp, and you have to press your thighs together to relieve the growing ache in your core. You’re not going to make it through this shower if he keeps making noises like that. But, of course, he does, and they're getting louder.

You can feel his body starting to respond to yours, too. It’s a little cruel how you’re purposely working him up, sliding a washcloth over his shoulders and across his back, letting your fingers skim teasingly over his skin as you stretch your arms around him to reach his front.

His stomach flexes under your palm, and he inhales sharply as your hardened nipples graze across his back. You continue your path down, running your fingers through the coarse hair at the base of his cock, and his hips jerk forward, seeking the friction you so desperately want to provide. He's panting, and you're both having a difficult time holding yourselves back.

Brown and red swirl in the water around your feet and down the drain, and it's enough to tell you that he's finally clean. And that you can finally touch him the way you want to.

Pressing yourself firmly against his back, you reach down to wrap your fingers around his cock and he feels huge in your hand, rock hard and pulsing with his racing heartbeat. You pump him a few times, giving him a firm squeeze at the base, and he keens, already leaking all over himself.

He braces a hand on your hip to steady himself as you trail open-mouthed kisses down his spine, digging his fingers in roughly when you slowly start to jerk him off in earnest.

"T-that's it, pretty girl—,” he pants heavily, eyes dropping down to watch you work him, and you twist your wrist up on the next stroke, thumbing over his head. "Keep goin', just like that."

You whimper damply against his skin at the pet name, feeling a pleasurable whoosh in your belly as your cunt drips pathetically down your thighs. The throbbing between your legs is almost unbearable, but you don't want to let him go, not when his hips are meeting your fist so fucking desperately. You wedge a hand between your bodies, slipping it lower and lower until your fingers rub against your slick folds, gathering some of the wetness to rub soothing circles into your clit.

“I got you, I got you,” you moan at the sudden relief. Your caresses start to match his thrusts, and soon he's trembling in your arms, whimpering like he'll cum any second if you let him. You rub your cheek tenderly against his back, murmuring soft, encouraging words into his heated skin.

"You're doing so, so well," you tell him, and he seizes up at the praise, chest heaving as you focus your attention closer to the tip. "You wanna cum or are you gonna wait for me? Want you to fill me up…can you do that for me?"

For a second, you think your words might've thrown him over the edge, his hips stuttering against your palm even as you slow your movements. But he's still clearly fighting the urge to cum, and that has to mean he wants to fuck you badly.

His hand shakes as it lifts to wrap around yours, guiding you down to squeeze the base of his cock to stave off his orgasm, but you're not making it easy for him. You barely notice your other hand still working your pussy, too turned on to realize you've started pumping two fingers in and out of yourself.

Joel notices, though. Something that sounds almost animalistic tears its way out of his chest as he turns on you, snatching your hand out of your cunt and slamming it against the shower wall. Your fingers are shiny and glistening with your wetness and he leans forward to suck each of them into his mouth, groaning at your taste on his tongue.

The look on his face makes it seem like you're the best meal he's ever had, and you feel a strong, sudden urge to have his tongue in your mouth so you can taste yourself. He pulls off your middle finger with an audible pop, and then you're crashing your lips into his, immediately licking into him.

God, why do you taste so good in his mouth? It's salty and heady, and really shouldn't be as hot as it is, but you can't bring yourself to care as his tongue tangles with yours. You feel two—shit, no, it’s three—of his fingers slip into you, and, holy fuck, they're so much bigger than yours. You're already so full and they feel even thicker at the base, nudging a spot that makes you see stars.

There's no way his cock is going to fit inside you…right? But the thought of him trying anyway almost makes you cum on the spot. Another wave of heat crashes through you and your walls convulse around him, pussy gushing down his fingers, and he abruptly breaks away from your lips, groaning lowly, desperately.

"Fuck, I-I need—shit, I need to fuck you, pretty girl," he twitches against you, leaking a glob of precum as he ruts into your belly. “M'gonna fill ya up real good, just like you wanted—," and you gasp, clamping down on his fingers one more time before he's pulling them out and hauling you into his arms, your legs quickly wrapping around his waist as he shoves you higher up the wall.

His hands roam your skin hungrily before eventually settling under the soft swell of your ass, holding you up as he slicks up his cock between your folds. Every time the tip catches your clit, your hips buck clean off the wall and he presses into you harder to keep you in place. You bury your face in his neck, thighs squeezing into his sides.

"S'not gonna fit," you slur, a little drunk off how good he feels between your legs. The next time his hips buck forward, the blunt head of his cock catches your entrance. "J-Joel—ngh…Joel, s'too big, you have to make it fit, please."

And that's when his patience runs out.

He sheathes himself to the hilt in one harsh thrust, growling roughly into your hair, and the stretch is mind-numbing. He stays deep, letting you adjust to the feeling of being split open, and his head drops to your shoulder. His eyes are locked on where you're joined, your pussy stretched around him almost obscenely.

"Would'ja look at that," he mumbles to himself, rocking in and out slowly as he turns his head to suck a bruise into your collarbone. You reach a hand down curiously, wanting to feel yourself around him, and your jaw drops when your fingers brush where his thickness is forcing your cunt to yield to him. "Knew you could take me…pussy feels s-so fuckin' good, like you were made for me."

You whine pathetically as the ache starts to subside and the need for him to fuck you becomes overwhelming. Pleasure blooms where he's already grazing that heavenly spot again, and you tug his head back by his hair, bringing his attention back up to you.

Everything pauses, just for a moment. You kiss his lips delicately, so much more delicate than he's about to be with your body but, right now, you need him to know that it's more than this for you. More than the sex and the physical intimacy. And the way he kisses you back reassures you beyond a doubt that it's more than this for him, too.

Then, your patience runs out.

"Joel, move."

And suddenly, he's spearing up into that spot deep inside you with reckless abandon, bouncing you on his cock, and you're not entirely sure, but you might actually be screaming.

Your head lolls back, thudding dully against the wall, and he ducks down to wrap his lips around your nipple, tongue circling the nub as he continues you work you up and down his shaft. The sound your pussy's making around him should be humiliating, but it only spurs him on, the wet squelching echoing loudly over the running water.

"Hear that? That's all you, baby. So fuckin' wet, look at that," and he's watching himself again in awe as he fucks in and out of you. You follow his gaze and, holy shit, he's not kidding. You're absolutely soaking him. "You look so good like this, so goddamn pretty stretched around my cock."

You still haven't completely acclimated to how thick he is, not sure you ever actually will, and the syrupy-sweet pain of him has you clawing at his back. You use the wall as leverage, arching just enough so you can actively meet his thrusts, and the new angle sends you reeling.

"Feels so…full, so full," you gasp, your back inching higher up the wall with the force of his thrusts. "K-keep going…there, Joel, there."

It's not just that one spot he's hitting anymore—fuck, it feels like he's everywhere. The ridge of his cock is rubbing your walls just right and every other thrust fucks deep enough to graze your cervix. You sob at the onslaught of overpowering pleasure, burying your hands in his hair to tether yourself as your brain begins to fizzle.

Just a little more, you only need a little bit more. You can feel the lower half of your body locking down and, as if he can sense exactly what you need, he grinds his cock in as deep as it'll go.

"That's it, baby. C'mon, give it to me," he grits against your throat. "Squeezin' me so fuckin' tight, you're almost there."

The coarse hairs at the base of his cock scrape roughly and a little painfully against your swollen clit as you rock against him, but the slide is still so slick and raw that your thighs begin to quake around his waist, and it's—fuck, it's so…so…

"M'gonna fucking cum—gonna…oh fuck, fuck, Joel," your lips part around what you pray is a silent scream and your body goes rigid, cunt spasming violently around him.

He chokes out a moan as you clamp down impossibly tighter on his cock. "Fuckin' hell, there we go," he rasps out shakily as he fucks you into the wall blindingly hard, letting you ride him through your orgasm.

"So, s-so good. Feels so fuckin' good," he's starting to mumble to himself deliriously, squeezing your ass hard enough to bruise. You whimper helplessly as his thrusts get sloppier and more desperate, "Gonna fill you up 'til it's leakin' out…c-can I, pretty girl? Please…bet you'd look so fuckin' good with my cum spillin' out of you—"

Before you can even answer, you feel him throb and then his entire body stills, his cock visibly pulsing as he empties into you. He moans his way through it, his head dropping to your shoulder again to watch himself pump you full of cum just like he said he would.

If you thought you felt full before, it's nothing compared to how you feel right now. He's still so deep, twitching pathetically inside you as he lifts his head to nose at the underside of your jaw. He presses a soft kiss there and you sigh, wrapping your arms and legs around him tighter.

"Christ, Joel, where did that come from?" you rasp out. He chuckles, and his whole body shakes with it, jostling his hips into your sensitive clit. Your pussy flutters around him and his breath hitches, fingers digging into the softness of your thighs. He still hasn't pulled out and you have a feeling he doesn't want to.

"Been waitin' a long time for that," he murmurs, meeting your eyes. You smile softly, and your lips command his attention. "Waited a long time for you."

So full of surprises tonight. You’ve traveled with him for years, settled down with your kid, but you never expected this. For him to finally feel the same way you do, to fuck you like that. You’re suddenly extremely thankful he came home in dire need of a shower.

You run your hands up his chest, settling one on his shoulder and burying the other in his hair. The dirt, the grime—it's all gone now, replaced by your release and the sweat of your exertion. He smells so good, just like your fancy shampoo. Just like home.

You lean in to kiss him deeply and he melts into you, his lips soft and warm against yours. When you part, you're met with that look again. The one he gave you after you asked him to shower with you, and that he hasn't stopped giving you since. Like he's observing you, contemplating you.

You recognize it now—it's hope.

"I've been waiting a long time for you too, Joel."

He kisses you again, holding you close as the water goes ice cold.

thanks so much for reading! 🥰

[storiesforallfandoms]

i need someone older ~ william afton;five nights at freddy's

word count: 3794

request?: no

description: after a bad breakup, she finds herself becoming more and more attracted to her much older boss

pairing: william afton x female!reader

warnings: swearing, age gap (reader is mid 20s, afton is 50s), power imbalance technically (but it's fine), bit of an au (so he doesn't unalive anyone in this one)

masterlist (one, two, three)

I stormed into work, really pushing it for time. I had slept past my alarm and was incredibly reluctant to get out of bed. After the night I had, the last thing I wanted was to work eight hours in a children's restaurant, with screaming kids and the animatronics playing the same three songs all day. But I needed the money, and hopefully a distraction.

"Whoa, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?" my coworker, Adam, asked.

"Fuck off," I muttered. "I gotta go change into my uniform. Can you punch me in so I'm not late?"

"Yeah. Be quick, though. Afton's here."

I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't even know our names. He's not going to know I'm supposed to be on the clock."

I changed as quickly as I could while having limited space in a tiny bathroom stall. I stuffed my clothes into my backpack and did a quick double check in the mirror to make sure I was work appropriate. I wasn't paying enough attention as I stepped out of the bathroom and managed to literally run into someone who was walking past. I cursed under my breath as I looked up and came face to face with the fucking owner of Freddy Fazbear's.

As if this day couldn't get any worse.

"|'m so sorry, Mr. Afton," I said.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Where's the fire, though? You seem like you're in a hurry."

How do I answer this without getting in shit? "I'm just, uh...trying not to be late. I had to change, and bring my bag to my locker."

William looked down at his watch. I felt my heart starting to pound.

"Cutting it a little close there," he commented.

"I know."

My grip on my bag had tightened as I braced for the worst. I had never met William before. Despite owning the restaurant, he was rarely ever around. Whenever he was, he was usually tucked away in his office for most of the day and only ever spoke with our manager. Due to this, I didn't know if he would be a hard ass who was about to write me up for running late. After the events of the previous night, I didn't think I'd be able to take getting reprimanded today.

He took me by surprise when he smiled and said, "Just don't let it happen again, okay?"

I nodded, unable to form any words, and scurried around him to the lockers.

Adam looked at me when I finally returned to the floor. "What took you so long?"

"I ran into Afton," I responded.

His eyes widened. "Did he give you shit?"

"Luckily no. Just told me not to let it happen again."

"I warned you that he was here."

I flipped Adam off when I was sure none of the kids could see me.

As if my day couldn't get any worse, my manager came to tell me that I was stationed on the prize counter for the day. The prize counter was probably the worst part of the restaurant. There was never any downtime at the counter. Either there was rowdy children hopped up on candy and pizza screaming about wanting toys they didn't have enough tickets for, or there were tired parents wanting to buy tokens for the arcade games while their rowdy kids were nearby screaming. Not to mention it was right next to the main stage, so the sound of screaming children was only matched by the sound of pre-recorded music coming from the animatronics' speakers. And to top it all off, the closing duties for the prize counter took longer than any other section of the restaurant.

It was the worst section to work, and I already wanted to leave just knowing that was my station for the day.

The only plus side was that being kept busy made the day fly by. But the usual craziness of Freddy Fazbear's was extra unbearable to a point where I felt myself on the edge of tears numerous times. I knew it was going to be a bad idea for me to be at work, and I was really regretting coming in.

I let out a sigh of relief as the last family finally left and the animatronics finally powered down. Adam laughed at me as I put my head down on the cool glass that held the prizes. "You're giving yourself more work to do."

I looked at the smudge I had left on the glass before glaring up at him. "I don't think my one smudge is making things any worse."

"Okay seriously, what is up with you? You've been grumpy all day."

I sighed and shook my head. "I had a bad night."

"Do you want me to help you close up so you can get out of here sooner?"

I gave him a look. "We both know you don't actually want that."

"But I'd do it to help you."

"I appreciate it, but I'll be fine. My annoyance and desire to leave will make me work faster."

Adam didn't fight me on it anymore. He said goodnight and clocked out. Once I heard the front door close and lock, I immediately got to work with cleaning. That was the easiest part as all I had to do was clean the glass of the prize case and pick up the discarded tickets from the floor. When I finished that, I started counting the cash in order to close it off. That was supposed to be another easy task, but my mind being anywhere but the task at hand made it so much harder.

Restocking the prizes was the hardest part. I had been on my own for nearly an hour, and I was both mentally and physically exhausted, so I was trying to rush out of there but found myself fumbling a little extra. I was trying to dump a box of tiny soldier toys into their respective bin when the box slipped from my hands and landed on its side, the toys scattering all over the floor.

It was my breaking point. Everything finally came crashing down around me and the flood gates finally opened. I lowered myself to the floor, sitting with my back against the counter. I buried my head into my hands and began to sob.

"Seems like a bit of a strong reaction to dropping some toys."

I jumped and looked towards where the voice had come from. I was sure I was the only one left in the restaurant, everyone else having left while I was doing my closing duties. Even my manager had left, giving me the keys and the code to the security system. But, turns out, I was wrong, because there was William Afton leaning over the counter to look down at me.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, wiping the tears from my face. "S-Sorry Mr. Afton. I-I didn't realize - "

"Hey, it's okay," he said, cutting me off and speaking in a soft voice. "What's going on? You seem stressed."

"It's...personal things. I shouldn't have let it interfere with my work."

"Fuck the professional shit for a second here. Forget I'm your boss, forget we're on the clock. If there's anything going on that you want to talk about, I'm all ears."

I leaned against the counter across from him. "It's stupid."

"You're crying, so I don't think it's that stupid."

I sighed. "My boyfriend broke up with me last night, after admitting he's been cheating on me for the last three months."

William whistled in response. "That's tough."

I nodded. "It just...came out of nowhere. We've been together for three years, moved in together last year. There was no signs that anything was wrong. I didn't even suspect that he was cheating. He came home last night and suddenly told me everything. Packed a bag and went to his...I guess...girlfriend's house. Told me he'd be back at some point this week to get his stuff."

Tears were stinging my eyes again. I looked away so William wouldn't see me cry anymore. Upon looking down, I realized my bare arms were on the glass of the prize counter, leaving smudges again. I cursed under my breath and turned to grab the cleaner again.

"Here, let me," William said, reaching for the cleaner. "You pick up the toy soldiers and I'll help restock the prizes once I finish this."

I was a little shocked, but definitely was not about to argue over getting help. We worked much quicker as a team and, finally, I was able to clock out to leave. I stood by as William set the security system and locked the gates.

"Thank you for helping me," I said.

"You don't have to thank me," he said. "It seemed you needed help, and I wasn't about to let one of my employees struggle while I was on the property." I smiled at him and started for my car. "For what it's worth - " I paused and turned back to him. " - your ex-boyfriend is a fucking idiot. You seem like a great woman. Don't beat yourself up over him."

He smiled and turned to walk towards his own car. I watched him go, surprised by what he said. Even through the cold night air, I could feel my face burning.

~~~~~~

William was around more after that. Not just in his office, but he was actually out on the floor. Everyone was noticing his increased presence, but I found myself noticing it in a different way. Whenever William was near, my eyes were practically glued to him. I found it difficult to concentrate whenever he was around. Luckily, everyone else was so distracted by his presence that they didn't notice how useless I had become.

It was wrong. I knew that. Having a crush on a coworker was bad enough, but a crush on your boss was a whole other level of bad. Especially when your boss is so much older. I had no idea whether or not he was even married or had kids for God's sake!

But every time I saw him, I couldn't stop my heart from racing. I wanted him in a way I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't stop myself.

During one of my shifts, I was put on the serving section. Serving was easy enough - take orders, bring food, check on tables. The hardest part was trying not to trip over a child running past while carrying a whole pizza on a hot tray. Most of us had learned the art of scanning the area before we walked, but sometimes you just don't notice quick enough and end up surprised by one of those little fuckers.

One of the cooks passed a pizza through the pass to me and told me the table number. I took the tray and balanced it against my shoulder, something I found was the easiest way to balance the bigger trays. The restaurant wasn't too busy, but there were still enough kids running around that I took in my surroundings before I started to walk. I was making a mental note about two kids who were stood by the stage, dancing to the song that Freddy was "singing", and didn't notice another kid who was racing from one of the playrooms in front of me. I stopped suddenly, just short of running into him, but found myself losing my balance after he ran past.

I felt two hands grab hold of my waist, holding me upright and saving me from a very embarrassing scene. When I turned to thank my savior, I came to face the blue eyes I had been trying to desperately to avoid today.

"That could've been a disaster," William said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Th-thank you," I managed to stutter out. I could still feel the heat of his hands against my waist, like they were burning through the clothes and searing my skin. I almost forgot the heavy tray of pizza I was carrying in that moment.

When he let me go, his eyes still trained on me, I quickly turned and hurried to my table. I tried not to seem so flustered, but I knew I had failed. I stuttered through every sentence before finally dismissing myself to the prize counter where one of my other coworkers, Beth, was snickering to herself.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Don't ask," I responded.

"Oh, I'm asking. Are you all hot and bothered for Afton?!"

"Shh!" I snapped, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one had heard. Not like anyone would over the usual noise of the restaurant.

"Oh, you so are!" she said. "Holy shit, (Y/N), you know that's bad news right? He's literally our boss."

"I know he is. I'm not stupid. But...I can't help it!"

"At least he would be more of a gentleman than that small dick asshole you call your ex." She looked over her shoulder as the front door to the pizzeria opened. When she looked back, her eyes were wide. "Speak of the devil."

I looked over to see none other than the small dick asshole himself, Josh, walking in. I wished I could disappear into the floor and never be seen again. I tried to turn and walk away before he spotted me, but no luck.

"(Y/N)!"

I groaned and turned back to him. "What do you want, Josh?"

"I was just over getting the last of my stuff - "

"Awesome, I do not care. If you've come to give me your key back, you could've just left it on the dining room table."

"No, I came to say that I couldn't find my Springsteen album."

I furrowed my eyebrows and crossed my arms. "So you came all this way to...what? Ask me what I did with it? I have no idea, Josh, I threw everything that was yours into boxes and garbage bags. If it's not in there, you might've left it in your car or at your new girlfriend's house."

"It's not any of those places." I wasn't sure if I should've been hurt about the fact that he wasn't addressing my last comment directly, but I definitely was a little bit.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"I wanted to see when you were going to be off work and maybe I could come by to look for it with you."

I scoffed. "Are you serious right now? Josh, I don't know what the fuck happened to your album, but you're sure as hell not coming over to the house. That is not your place anymore, and you're very much not welcome there."

"Why can't we be adults about this?"

"You lost the right to being adult about this the second you decided to cheat on me! And how dare you say that shit, but then come down to my place of work to try and, what, harass me into letting you back into my home? We're over, Josh. I don't ever want to see you again. If I find any of your shit left at the house, I'll drop it in the trash."

"What seems to be the problem here?"

I suppressed the urge to groan again. As if things couldn't get any more complicated.

"No problem, Mr. Afton," I said, turning to face William with the best, innocent smile I could muster. "Just an...unwelcome guest."

William looked at me for a moment before letting his eyes wander to Josh. I didn't have to say much else for him to recognize who the "unwelcome guest" was and I could see anger in his eyes.

"Well, time to get back to work, (Y/N)," he said to me. "Your customers are waiting."

I nodded and ducked away from the situation. As I walked away, Josh called after me, "That's fine, I'll be waiting for you to get off! We can talk more then!"

"Like hell you will."

A collective gasp from the parents and Beth cause me to spin around to see William had grabbed hold of the collar of Josh's shirt. William was easily a head taller than Josh, so even if the act wasn't meant to be intimidating, he definitely looked intimidating. I don't think I've ever seen such fear on Josh's face. William turned Josh around and basically dragged him towards the front door.

"If I see you back here, I will have your ass arrested," he said as he threw Josh out of the restaurant. "Are we clear, punk?"

He didn't wait for a response as he pulled the door shut. I could see Josh standing there, a mixture of fear and confusion on his face. William re-entered the main area, still looking angry, but tried to put on his best customer service smile as he addressed his new crowd. "Sorry everyone. Just an unruly customer. Sorry for any trouble."

To me he added, "Come see me in my office, please."

Beth and I exchanged a look before I followed William towards his office. I was so sure he was going to get upset with me. Not only had I brought my personal shit to the restaurant (even though that wasn't my fault), but it had also resulted in a not so great scene in front of the customers. People get to talking, and I was sure that this story was going to be spread through town before the night was out.

The moment I stepped into his office, I set in on the apologies. "Mr. Afton, I'm so sorry about that. I had no idea he was coming. I've been trying to avoid him while he's moving his stuff out and I guess he was getting tired of that or wanted to poke me one last time or something - "

"Did he hurt you?"

I paused my rambling to look up at him. All anger was gone from his face and had instead been replaced by concern.

"What?" I asked.

"Did he do anything to you just then?"

I shrugged. "Not physically. He was definitely still trying to mess with me mentally, though."

William nodded. "Well, he's not welcome on the property anymore. If you see him, you have my full permission to contact the police immediately."

"I...I don't think that's entirely necessary."

"I don't mean to sound like an old man or anything, but I've met plenty of assholes like your ex, (Y/N). You give them an inch and they take a mile. If you don't deal with this now, he will continue to come back and harass you. I don't want that for you. You don't deserve that."

I opened my mouth to say something else, but nothing came out. I was realizing how close we were now. We were mere inches away from one another. If I wanted to, I could just reach out and touch him right now; grab him. I could've kissed him right then and there if I really wanted to. Who would've known?

As if reading my mind, William suddenly reached out and cupped my face. Before I could comprehend what was happening, his lips were on mine. It was kind of ironic, the fact that I had just been thinking about doing this exact thing, but now that it was happening it was like my brain wasn't sure how to comprehend the situation.

William pulled away just as quickly as he had initiated the kiss. He backed away from me, suddenly worried. "I'm so sorry. I...I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have done that."

In response, I pretty well threw myself at him. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him with such force that it pushed him back into his desk. He positioned himself so that he was sat on his desk and basically pulled me into his lap. It was risky, anyone could've come by and caught us, but something about that just made the experience so much better; so much hotter.

William pulled away first again. I tried to chase his lips with mine, but he pushed me back, chuckling at my eagerness.

"Hold on," he said. "There's some things we have to discuss before this goes any further."

"Please don't tell me you're married," I said.

He laughed. "No, I'm not married. Divorced with a 10 year old daughter. That was the first thing I wanted to discuss, in case single dad is a dealbreaker."

"Very much not a dealbreaker."

"So...the age thing is also not a dealbreaker then?"

I shook my head. "If anything, I think that makes it kinda hotter."

A grin spread on his face. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind. But there is the big issue of the fact that I'm your boss."

It felt like I had been shoved off of cloud nine and come crashing down to earth. For a moment, I had forgotten that part. He was right, that was the biggest issue here. Kind of hard to get around it unless I ended up quitting, which I really did not want to do. It was nearly impossible to find a good paying job these days, and I needed this now more than ever since Josh wasn't going to be splitting rent with me anymore.

I climbed off of William's lap and stood across from him. "I guess...that is a big issue, huh?"

"I just don't want you to feel pressured into anything, and I don't want anyone to look at you any different because you're dating the boss."

I raised a playful eyebrow at him. "You jumped to dating pretty quickly there."

His smile was a little more bashful. "What can I say? I'm old school. I don't believe in hooking up or anything like that. If there's anything going on here, I want you to be able to classify it as a relationship."

In that moment, I found myself wondering why I hadn't always dated older men. I had wasted so much of my time on guys my age when I could've been dating someone who was actually a gentleman and cared about me and my feelings.

"Why don't we see where things go with this, and then we can tackle that big elephant in the room?" I asked.

"I think I can agree to that."

I took a step closer and said, "I really want to kiss you again, though."

He laughed and met me halfway, standing from his desk and taking my face in his hands again. When he kissed me, I felt like I was flying right back on to cloud nine.

[jenomi]

Boyfriend!Jeno A-Z Headcanons

prompt list by @snk-warriors

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

jeno would either plan really simple but cute dates like going to the movies and dinner or he'd do something at home like making charms or painting. anything just to spend some quality time with you <3 jeno's also so thoughtful and creative, i feel like once in a while he'd plan a more extravagant date based on something you mentioned once or if he saw you watching a lot of videos about a certain activity on insta or tiktok, he'd plan it for you guys to do together.

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

it's corny but jeno just thinks you're beautiful inside and out. he gets a little bitter when strangers call you pretty cuz they just don't get you like he does! of course he thinks you're the most beautiful person he's ever laid eyes on, but he also loves your humor, personality, habits, and everything.

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

jeno is literally your rock, unwavering support and love even when you feel like pushing him away. he'll just be there for you and make sure you know that he's always there if you want to talk or just want to cuddle. he'll always lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

marriage, duh. altho he doesn't imagine himself having kids like the other dreamies imagine having children. jeno just dreams of a comfortable life with you, where you go to each other's annual family vacations, family dinners, friend gatherings and vacations where everyone gets along and he feels comfortable and in love. also, he definitely dreams of traveling the world with you.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

jeno can definitely be both, depending on the situation. he was more passive when he was upset about something at the beginning of your relationship, and he's continuing to work on it to express himself, he just doesn't like starting arguments/confrontations :( dominant in everything else tho hehe

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

very rarely will jeno shout during an argument, he tends to stay quiet which makes you even more angry cuz you wish he would just fight back. but he's very easy to forgive you because he really really hates fighting with you and he does try to see things from your pov. and ofc you do the same when he expresses himself too.

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

jeno is incredibly grateful. grateful to have you by his side thru thick and thin, grateful that you choose each other each and every day. even the smallest things he's grateful for, like you tidying his clothes in the closet when he was rushing that morning.

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

any secrets jeno has, they're unintentional. they'll be things he just never thought to bring up but they're usually not that big of a secret that would impact your relationship. you'll just pout at him for not sharing it ahead of time.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

jeno's not lying when he says he became a better person after meeting you. he's become more understanding and empathetic towards others and wants to try new things all the time with you and do the things that you like. in return, jeno's inspired you to be more hard working and patient with others.

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

yes, jealousy is a disease and jeno has it. again, he doesn't always express it because he feels like he's overreacting in most situations. if you talk about your male coworker a lot, he'll get jealous and if it persists, his pent up jealousy will just become anger and you'll fight it out. but you try to never give him a reason to be jealous, he's your one and only afterall.

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

yes, duh. the first kiss was nothing crazy, you were laughing together on one of the dates at the beginning of your talking phase. you were really close together and it honestly just happened naturally. you both initiated it, it couldn't be helped! but since then, jeno's been obsessed with kissing you, he'll just do it whenever he wants.

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

cutie jeno would prob be kinda awkward about it >.< it would be on a regular night in and he would start to dance around his confession but you wouldn't pick up on it, you just thought he was tired and saying things. then he would properly sit up and grab your hand, "y/n, i'm trying to tell you i love you." you would be so shocked by that, but his calm yet sudden outburst to you would fill your heart with love and joy and you'd reply, "i love you too, jeno."

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

jeno would propose to you after one of your special dates with a intimate night at home. it would be set up full of candles leading up to the bed where there's a small but luxurious bouquet with your favorite flowers. when you turn around, you see jeno kneeled onto one knee, "y/n, make me the happiest man to walk this earth and be my beautiful wife for always and forever. will you marry me?" you guys would lead a simple, yet unwavering loving marriage full of happiness and adventures together just the two of you.

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

babe, baby, jagiya, a quirky nickname derived from your real name cuz that's just jeno

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

jeno is constantly close to you or paying attention to you when you're out together. when you're with friends, it's obvious that you're together when you meet new people. he often expresses his feelings to you through his actions rather than his words, which is one of the reasons why people know you're together cuz jeno is always touching you in some way shape or form when you're out together.

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

jeno doesn't necessarily brag, but he does talk about you all the time. "oh, y/n and i went there last week" "oh y/n told me..." "y/n is waiting for me" it's always you you you, haechan def teases him about it. and again, jeno's obsessed w kissing you, if you show up to a team dinner jeno will just kiss you out of habit and get shy after lol

Quirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

you know how jeno always comes up with creative solutions in content? that would happen a lot in your relationship with jeno. he would always find solutions that require less work but create the same results. or if you were missing a tool, he would find an alternative tool that would get the job done (and if it's something that just requires strength, he does it for you very easily).

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

i wouldn't say jeno is super romantic, but he's appropriately romantic to leave you happy and satiated. jeno doesn't like being cliche, but when he does show his romantic side, it's very romantic and tailored for especially you that you have no choice but to feel touched and love your boyfriend even more than you did the day before.

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

of course - jeno is so supportive of your goals and always encourages you to take steps towards them even as you encounter setbacks. he believes in you and trusts that you can do anything you set your mind to. he will try to help in any way he can, like setting up meetings with certain people that can help guide and mentor you in achieving your goals in better ways than he ever could.

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

jeno likes feeling comfortable, but he does need some spice to keep himself stimulated. if there's certain things that you both already know you love (like a restaurant), he's happy to just stick with that and not try something new. but if you both feel like you're missing a certain something (like a specific cuisine or dish), you'll go out to explore it until you find something you both love and just add it to your routine. [things are def frequently spiced up in bed ofc]

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

since the beginning of your relationship with jeno, he's always tried to be as empathetic as possible. he always knew he wanted to know you inside and out, so he made it his mission to know every little thing about you. what you like and don't like, your habits, your pet peeves, your favorite things, everything.

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

your relationship definitely lies within his top 3 priorities in his life, next to his job and his family. you are his everything and he genuinely can't imagine what his life would look like without you there, so he makes sure to take care of you and your relationship.

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

jeno's favorite mundane thing to watch you do is eat. sure, you don't think you look very flattering when you eat, but jeno thinks you look so cute munching away at your food and humming when it's really good. you think jeno's a slow eater, but really he just gets distracted watching you eat, feeling happy that he gets to do these simple, beautiful things with you and feeling proud that he's taking good care of you.

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

jeno is subtly very affectionate towards you. he will always be touching you when you're out together, typically its thru holding hands cuz we know how much he loves holding hands :( he doesn't really like to kiss in public, but behind closed doors, TRUST he's kissing you all over all the time and cuddling you wherever you lay or stand.

Yearning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

jeno feels like he's going absolutely insane when he doesn't see you for 2 or more days. two days is his limit. afterwards, he gets kinda cranky and extra pouty and sad cuz he misses you so much :( he'll spam your phone with messages until you reply, and when you do he'll just call you so he can see your face and hear your voice. but it's simply not enough because he wants to touch you and kiss you. he'll do anything to be able to see you again as soon as possible.

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

he is, but only to a certain degree as he has boundaries just like you do. if you asked him to move into your place instead of the other way around, he would do it no problem. he would book getaways for you when you were feeling down without you having to ask for them. but if you asked him to cut off his friends/family for no reason, he wouldn't do it. again, jeno would do a lot of things for your relationship, but only if they're reasonable.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

if you read this far, i seriously love you

[satsuha]

one of the reasons i like what aa6 did for apollo so much is because i feel like he's accidentally a really nice example of a third culture kid and i......... never really thought i'd see that kind of experience in the kind of media i like. apollo returning to khura'in and all his conflicting feelings regarding dhurke and khura'in just make me Feel something

it's a lot of projecting from my part but i don't think apollo fully views either khura'in nor japan/US as home, there's just something about viewing a place as your childhood home and even if it is the place you imagine yourself returning to, things are just... different now. he's different now, and the literal home (dhurke's mountain hut) he'd wanted to return to just isn't there anymore... khura'in might've been his entire childhood, but the experience he got was so different from the other locals that he really doesn't know much about the average khura'inese lifestyle at all... khura'inese is probably his mother tongue, but he's so out of practice that he has to relearn it from scratch

i think again, i prefer apollo being japanese because i can just imagine that it was so difficult to fit in when you're so different and you're just so unfamiliar with the same experiences that everyone else had growing up... it's the kind of environment where i can't blame him for growing up not wanting to ever talk about his past, not when he's finally managed to fit in and seem Normal for the first time in his life...

i just feel like it's... easy to say that apollo is returning home to khura'in but there are so many loaded feelings that came with that and the idea of home is such a subjective one that i don't like the answer being so clear-cut. it's more like, on a good day apollo probably considers both khura'in and japan/US his home but on a bad day he thinks about how he'll never really belong in either place. it's another thing when i wonder if apollo ever resented dhurke for the decision to send him away even when he knows it was good for him... or even his real parents for taking him to khura'in in the first place? just imagining, or wishing even, that he could have been fully khura'inese like nahyuta or japanese/american like clay then maybe his life wouldn't have turned out this way.....

i don't know LMAO apollo eventually settling back in khura'in is so cathartic yet so tragic to me at the same time. it's a really weird feeling to not have a citizenship or to speak the language in the place you consider home... heck he doesn't even have a physical home in khura'in when he decides to stay?? it's just. i have a lot of thoughts about this. third culture kid apollo is important to me...

[transmascaraa]

Noelle Anon here! I loved your work! It was so cute and made my little sapphic heart explode! Could I maybe request the same thing with other genshin girls of your choosing? I just love them all so much!!!! Maybe with fem!reader this time?

Have a good night/day! <3

multiple characters headcannons!

cooking with them...

characters: furina, sucrose, arlecchino, navia x fem!reader

author's note: hiiiii i haven't written in a while😭 didn't have much time and not too much motivation for writing lmfao but now i'm here to write this because the req is adorable! i chose women that i thought you'd like because everyone likes them i guess so yeah<3 i hope you enjoy this and i tried my best to write smthn wlw i hope it's good enough

♡ Furina

-we all know how she's not one of the best cooks. so, you being one makes it a bit better.

-still, if you wanted to cook WITH her, then the food would probably just have to be macaroni.

-not gonna judge, i love it js as much as she does.

-you decided to get prepared one day, to cook together, and prepare a meal for one another!

-although you know that the only options you had were macaroons and macaroni, where she only had one option.

-so you started cooking macaroons.

-it is always SO fun to cook with her. she's always smiling and talking with you, talking about the most random things ever.

-of course, if you don't like talking much, she'll talk less but not be quiet entirely.

-know that you're gonna get a few kisses during the tiem being.

-and when you finally finish both of your meals, and prepare them for eachother, furina literally has a new shine in her eyes.

-when she tried it, she mumbled something that she thought you wouldn't hear

-"i don't care. this is my new favorite food."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✿ Sucrose

-she's like noelle, so i think you get the point what she'd be like.

-whatever you'd cook for eachother, she'd like it. and the other way around.

-the cooking experience with her is very calming, too.

-you might chit-chat about something randomly but know that it's mostly quiet with the sounds of nature from outside.

-if you liked to talk a lot tho, she had no problem of listening to your pretty voice while she cooked something for you.

-you made a cheesecake for her!

-setting the table together, and finally sitting down to try the food.

-whatever she made you, it was really decorated and the only thing that you knew that it was some type of cake.

-and she recognized that your's is a cheesecake almost immediately.

-when she tried it, she started talking to you, blushing a bit, about how much she's grateful for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✧ Arlecchino

-i'm pretty sure this isn't too ooc

-now, what i know is that she's definitely a great cook.

-i mean, she's a 'father', a parent to her children, of course she knows how to cook!

-so you had no problems asking her to cook with her. you knew that the kitchen wouldn't be burned down. hopefully.

-alright, you start cooking something that everyone likes, cupcakes! but the ones that you were able to make for her were cherry ones!

-arlecchino wasn't entirely quiet throughout the cooking either. it was either you or her talking with some kisses that can't be missed. she talked about her kids and her missions, while you either talked about her work in return, or about why you still love her despite it all.

-when you finish cooking and come to the dinner table with her, there's not much reaction on her face yet, unlike your's which was clearly happy.

-she made you cinnamon rolls!

-(i'm sorry if it's something you don't like)

-when she tried the cherry cupcake, you got a smirk from her.

-"you're a good cook, pretty girl."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✯ Navia

-this girl will make you the best food ever. she will take this activity very seriously with you.

-usually, you'd think that maybe the conversations that you'd have throughout the process very little, but that's not the case.

-she would talk with you the whole time.

-"i remember once when i was little..."

-"do you remember when i..."

-"can you pass me the sugar?"

-you get the point.

-of course, she won't miss the chance to give you a few kisses.

-and finally when you cooked eachother the "special food", turns out the both of you made macaroons for eachother.

-that just resulted in a laugh from you both as you now started talking about whose are better.

-she said yours were better.

-but you denied and said the opposite.

-however you look at it, cooking with her is a great experience to not only get to know eachother better, but also just for the fun of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay i love this one

it's so cute

i hope anyone who reads it likes it, especially you anon because i liked the noelle req too!!^^

| @mariaace <3

[jasperandhenryslovechild]

now that the shock of watching this trailer over and over and over again has worn down a tiny bit i need to ask, what the fuck is that hero costume and what does this mean for the preexisting canon dangerverse timeline

it is evident that these three costumes are NOT the same thing and it doesn't make me happy at ALL.

INDIVIDUAL BREAKDOWN/ELABORATION RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT

this one

is henry danger canon, like in the very last episode.

a muted version of the danger force canon one, with a fugly mustard hoodie with the strings tied so tight that it makes me question his breathing abilities and middle-schooler-who-just-discovered-what-mouse-is hair/j. he looks like he had to pull something together last minute unlike charlotte (curse me for cropping her out) who is literally THE COOLEST ONE HERE why is she not in the movie???? she is literally a fucking cyborg with purple hair someone explain this shit to me??? it's her superiority that allowed her to absolutely EAT THIS UP while henry looks like he just went dumpster diving

it's a vibe but it's also giving ramen noodles so im giving it a low 5/10 out of pity

danger force switches it up on us with this version

henry "we don't wear masks in dystopia, we're kinda above that" hart

this one is my favorite, it's cohesive and it goes together well. it's got the more grown hero vibe that ive always wanted to see in henry ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF HIS GROWTH AS A CHARACTER!! THE RETURN OF THE KID EPISODE IS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT HOW FUCKING DIFFERENT HE IS AND IM HERE FOR IT SO HARD!!! i will absolutely drop a df henry hyper analysis some day but for now this is what we've got

the shades of burgundy and washed out red throw it together well and i can totally see an explanation behind this costume vs the old one being a simple upscale/revamp. that jacket has pockets to hide weaponry, leather would probably be a lot easier to take a tumble in (+ the knee guards not shown in this picture and like the plastic covers on the sides of his legs that i don't know the name of, implies that he takes enough hard falls to need protection in these areas!), it helps camouflage well in dystopia because the 2 seconds of clips we've seen of that place show that it's pretty dark despite its bright neon flashing lights that give it an evil sanfransokyo at night sort of vibe. it's superhero-y, but it also doesn't have all those staple childhood iconic hero things either— if anything he looks kinda ashamed to be in a superhero show and that's okay/j

overall, 10/10 because it has nothing to do with the capitan man/kid danger brand, it shows henry evolving beyond that point in his life into his own entity after being so soley dependent on ray for his entire previous career in superhero-ing

now to address this fucking monstrosity we were given just a few hours ago

i want to preface this by saying i am not ungrateful. the things i am about to say come from a place of pure dissatisfaction yet constructive criticism. ive been waiting years and years for this movie and i will literally take an hour and thirty minutes of jasper and henry twirling in a circle and make 183829992 edits of it i don't care, i love henry danger sm and the movie looks pretty cool

this being said

dear costume team of henry danger the movie,

have you ever watched henry danger and or danger force? do you even know what you're designing for? be honest, did the producers hand you this stock image

and tell you to make it mean? because every time i look at this costume there is something else wrong with it and it PAINS MY EYES. it makes him look like a cartoony ass space crusader instead of a hero fighting crime one of the most dangerous if not THE MOST DANGEROUS city in the world.

let's break this down, shall we? head to toe motherfuckers.

only not complaining about the hair and it being slicked in the same direction it used to be because it's consistent throughout the entire trailer (unlike SOME danger force episodes... cough cough return of the kid....cough cough.......)

that mask. firstly, i have issues with there being a mask at all, because danger force establishes that there are no masks in dystopia. nobody moves a finger to try and put on a mask, henry even fights SUNGLASSES. those sunglasses ray forces on him to hide his identity are brawled against, he's clearly grown out of masks. putting him back in one puts him back in that kid danger box he's been working hard to build up and out of, a concept established throughout the entire finale of henry danger and further reassured in danger force.

and if you were gonna inarguably give him a mask for simple minded audience recognition, nickelodeon, the least you could do was make it a PRETTY MASK. red was an.. okay choice for the base, but making the silver SURROUND IT? BLACK OUTLINE???? you're trying so hard to be new and cool and it is just painful on the eyes instead. the black eyeshadow under it makes him look like one of those 2020 emo dsmp cc edits and it's just like a throwback to an era nobody wants to go back to. that face card makes him looks like he listens to believer by imagine dragons while chewing that magic bubblegum. his lips are PALE, SOMEBODY GET THIS MAN SOME IRON— OH WAIT, THEY WASTED THEIR SUPPLY ON THIS NIGHT REFLECTIVE SILVER MAKEUP THAT MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A STOP SIGN WITH A FLASHLIGHT UP IT'S ASSHOLE

then we move onto the base of the costume itself. firstly, the navy blue undershirt cut out to expose his neck says nothing to me. it does not make the statement you guys thought it would— in fact, it makes the whole thing look a pit incomplete? unkempt? it looks like theres something missing and with that black eyeshadow i think it's a thick silver chain SORRY IM DONE I'M OVER THE MASK

the vest over it gives me even more issues. you can't pull up with an audio of ray manchester going "you're not a sidekick anymore, you're a hero!!" and have THEIR FUCKING LOGO ON HIS CHEST. IT'S NOT RIGHT. ON TOP OF THE FACT THAT THE ENTIRE VEST IN AND OF ITSELF LOOKS LIKE IT WAS ROLLED IN DIRT AND HAS THE COLORATION PROPERTIES OF A DYING SEAL, THE LOGO BEING THERE AT ALL IS A MASSIVE ISSUE.

the entire POINT OF THE FINALE was that henry wanted to move on from his life as kid danger. he sacrificed himself and faked his entire death to thousands of people in order to become his own person. he had no life outside of crime fighting because he has no skills or traits outside of crime fighting— he gave up his entire childhood for it so naturally it's all he can gravitate to as he moves forward in dystopia. being a crime fighter once more is a punch in the face enough that he will never really escape who he once was despite the fact that HE GOT AWAY.

HE GOT AWAY.

in NO WORLD WOULD THE HENRY HART I KNOW AND LOVE PROUDLY WEAR THE SYMBOL OF THE VERY MAN THAT FAILED HIM. ray manchester failed him throughout his entire childhood— failed at giving him a normal kid life, failed at providing context and details before or even during the time he accepted the job— and yet here the movie is. he is wearing a rip off of his old costume in an attempt to leave behind who he was. that is ironic, that is HORRIBLE. because by putting him in this FUGLY ASS DOLLAR STORE COSTUME, not only are you retconning the evolution he's been working towards, you are denying him the right to become something greater than just kid danger

in the old costumes, the designs were different because he as a person was different. his entire character arc throughout the hd finale to now was just that, becoming different.

this is not different— this is just an older version of the ghost he's been leaving behind time and time again. dragging him back to his roots. there are millions of ways to drag him back to his roots in the movie itself because those roots will never free him, that is the entire point of him post henry danger and there's so many ways to show that. but changing his costume, one of the only parts of his new hero identity that he himself gets to choose, to resemble his old costume so similarly is just blatantly saying fuck you to the current dangerverse timeline and who that has made him out to be.

my final question is, what does that mean for everything else?

cause like, if the hd/df costumes are no longer a thing in the movie, what happened to them?? why did henry choose this bullshit over the FIREEE costumes in his past?? why would he ever do that to himself bro

and also BLACKOUT?? DO WE NOT GET AN EXPLANATION ON THAT???? BECAUSE EVEN NICKELODEON THEM FUCKING SELVES MADE A THEORY VIDEO ABOUT BLACKOUT BEING JASPER AND THEN WE PULL UP WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER

LIKE GUYS I'M NOT GETTING IT ARE WE EVER GONNA GET AN EXPLANATION ON WHO BLACKOUT IS AND WHY HE WAS CAUGHT UP WITH HENRY— ALSO JASPER'S JUST TRANSFORMING RANDOMLY IN PUBLIC??? DOES THAT NOT NUKE THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF HENRYS MASK?????

i do have very good things to say about this teaser, do not let your eyes deceive you, but i also have these complaints that i don't necessarily need answered if not I just need them to be heard

if you've made it this far thank you so much for coming to my insanely long ted talk

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

a couple of guys have been throwing around doc being ace in the tags of my recent post so naturally. i have thoughts. allow me to subject you to them:

i agree. that man is asexual. clara is also asexual. i would think both of them are a little bit bi as well!

not that either of them think too hard about it though. if you ask them they would say they are 100% attracted to the opposite sex and for the most part that's true. but doc totally had some sort of vaguely homosexual rivalry with another scientist while working on the manhattan project and clara probably had a crush on another girl when she was little. also the 1980s has a lot more Gender than the century previous so once the shock of women wearing pants wears off she's going to be like hold on a sec.... they're kinda cooking in this century

(clara would not use those words in that order fs but that's the only way i can convey that lmao)

none of them would look into those experiences. they'd just assume oh every girl thought this one specific other girl was like super pretty and smart and cool growing up. every scientist has an infuriatingly stubborn yet brilliant and objectively good-looking rival in the same department. that's just how it is!

bisexual tangent over. back to asexualism

doc and clara are more the "enjoy each other's company" couple than anything like sure they'll kiss or whatever and that's nice but they'll have infinitely more fun talking about their interests

they'd probably only get schnasty because they know that's just what couples are meant to do. like they'll try it once and they'll agree it was a solid 7/10 experience but do you know what's a guaranteed 10/10 every time? 49th reread of journey to the centre of the earth!! woohoo!!

which brings me. to the real point of this post. where did jules and verne come from.

as an ace doclara truther i initially subscribed to the "they travelled in time to adopt a couple of orphans who were otherwise going to die and be lost to time" bc it's cute and it's like how doc saved clara so now they're in love. but the more i thought about it i was like hold on. something's up here

because doc spent 10 years building that train so the first thing he'd want to do with it (besides going into the future to get parts for it to fly) is return to let marty know he's alright right. like in the movie sure he picked up einie first but that's bc that's einie

so unless those boys are freshly picked up off the great depression streets logically i do not think that can be the case. as nice as this headcanon is

so my next thought was like ok. we can still make this adoption thing work. maybe these orphans have naturally occurred in the 1880s (<- certainly one of the string of words i have made)

but we know doc. sure he's had his moments of flipping the bird to the space-time continuum but in general he tries his best to keep it intact i think

taking up a blacksmithing job? minor improvements to the lives of the citizens of hill valley. probably not going to cause anything major. also he needs money. marrying a schoolteacher? she was going to fall off a cliff and die originally so it's not like that's going to make anything worse. (although now a lot more kids are literate in this timeline so something is definitely different. but also what is she gonna do, not teach?)

but adopting two kids without knowing their fates beforehand.... risky business. who knows who those two are supposed to be. and it's not like they can pick up two kids who they know for sure would probably pass without their intervention bc doc is a doc from the future but he's not THAT kind of doc from the future.

so with that said. begrudgingly. i think jules and verne are biologically theirs. unfortunate for the adoption headcanons but that's the only logical way i can see it

not to say the adoption headcanons are wrong and bad i just don't know how they could obtain two children without worrying about messing things up. so if anyone has any ideas how please enlighten me

[nptnz]

Maxime Le Mal Headcanons!!

A/N: omg im not even joking, hes my favourite character out of like all the media i like rn 😭 Disclaimer!! : Headcanons that I make may NOT be accurate, so don't come at my throat please!

Normal Headcanons - he really liked pop music as a kid and as a teenager, and that love stuck with him throughout his years. now as an adult, he shares the same love for the genre, especially for older pop songs he grew up with, but also newer ones. - he loves to dress up when he goes out, but is mostly focused on his hair. he's the kind of person that wants to make sure his hair looks PERFECT. - whenever he's frustrated or sometimes it just happens, he starts speaking in french as well as english, mixing up the two and not even realizing it. -he's very expressive, whether in his facial features or the waving of his hands he always does, he expressive in facial expression, emotions, and body language. it's always pretty easy to tell how he's feeling. - maxime is the most talkative person EVER. he likes to yap, literally about mostly himself. it always has something to do with himself; what went bad that day and why it sucked for him, about how amazing he is,,, etc. - he exaggerates everything. yes, it's how it sounds, he's very dramatic. - he's very sensitive to like all physical touch on his arms and legs, especially ones that get too rough against him due to the fact his body is literally a cockroach. (it's proven that cockroach legs are very sensitive to touch.) SFW Relationship Headcanons - he definitely likes to use french pet names. - whenever he has the chance, he'll use the cringiest pick up lines. he knows they're terrible, he just finds it funny. - maxime shows physically that he doesn't like pda, but inside, he actually does, he's just embarrassed that he likes it. - he's very careful when cuddling without his coat with his cockroach body, as he's a little paranoid inside that he'll harm his partner with the spikes on his forearms. - when his antennas are stroked, he makes little buzzing noises because he's comfortable. - would definitely get whatever his partner wanted for them, no matter the mood he was in. he'd probably be rude to everyone including his partner if he was in a bad mood, but he would still get it for them. NSFW Relationship Headcanons - when something feels really good to him, his wings will start fluttering and twitching as a sign of his pleasure or when he's close to his climax. - as mentioned in the normal headcanons, he starts mixing up his speaking of french and english sometimes. he does this during love making too, because he is getting so much pleasure, and it just kinda happens. he also just yaps non stop, because he loves talking about himself. or anything related to himself. - maxime is very gentle with his partner when it comes to aftercare, being careful not to harm them in any way after their intimacy, always snuggling with them and placing butterfly kisses basically wherever he can reach. - he definitely likes to be the one on the receiving end of oral, but he also doesn't mind giving it either. he thinks it feels nice, and in return, he'd want his partner to feel the same way he did; pleased.

[alexanderwales]

The second chapter of Save the Cat! is about genre, titled "Give me the same thing ... only different!". The general principle is one that I strongly agree with, even if I don't always practice it in my writing: you must know how and why things work in fiction, you must be a student of the realms you're writing in, you must give your own twists on clichés if you think you might be writing them, and must be familiar with clichés so that you don't end up boring people. Study things that are like the thing you're trying to create. Analyze them, take them apart, understand how they work or don't work.

But then a lot of the chapter is taken up with Snyder's own system of ten genres, and when I was reading it I wanted to just stop him and say "hey, what the fuck, did you even watch that movie?"

Also I laughed for like five minutes at him putting Schindler's List in the "Dude with a Problem" genre, even though I agree that according to his typology it completely fits.

I'm a huge fan of making up arbitrary categories and then stuffing things into them. I don't think it's often very useful, no, but it's fun, and when you're done shoving things into boxes, you can pull them back out, find a new set of boxes, and repeat the process. I'm not going to repeat Snyder's categories here, but I think they kind of suck, and don't accurately reflect genre as we understand them, and the whole thing would have been better off is it was taking story archetypes and saying why they work and then what the usual deviations from them were.

Here are two examples that I take issue with, among others. First, by his accounting Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is a "Golden Fleece" movie, the kind of film centered around a hero's journey where what he ends up finding is, ultimately, himself, and every set piece along the way is important only in the way it relates to the hero's self-acceptance or whatever.

No. Wrong. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is very very clearly a "Buddy Love" under this system. Look at this fucking image:

Could this DVD cover make this any more obvious? Literally all the promotional material is like this. It even says in the book that most "Buddy Love" movies start with the "buddies" disliking each other, and that their relationship is central to the movie. And if Snyder is getting this wrong, what else is he getting wrong about his own system?

Example two. I'm just going to quote it in full:

Now look at The Matrix and compare and contrast it with the Disney/Pixar hit Monsters, Inc. Yup. Same movie.

Fucking what do you mean.

Under this system of genres, Monsters, Inc. is very clearly another "Buddy Love" movie. There's a kid they have to deal with, but most of the movie is grounded in the relationship between Mike and Sulley. Like, what's the low point of the whole movie? They get banished to the Himalayas and then have a big fight! It's about their relationship to each other!

(I looked this up on the savethecat website and found an article claiming that it's an example of "Monster in the House", which is fucking stupid, because what's the monster and what's the house? Just does not apply. The child is takes the role of the "monster" for such a small amount of the movie, then they're looking after her and trying to return her home, and even before that it's not relatable as a monster to the audience. Blake Snyder didn't write the article, so maybe he had something different in mind.)

Meanwhile, The Matrix most closely falls into either "Dude with a Problem" (ordinary man thrust into extraordinary circumstances) or "Superhero" (extraordinary man in ordinary circumstances) and I would argue that it's actually neither of those because it's a goddamned hero's journey and those are their own thing and it makes no sense to try to split them into two parts because you don't get more explanatory power of what's working and what's not. His analysis of what he calls "Superhero" films also sucks for that reason and just totally misses the mark about what makes them tick.

So how are these the same movie? I don't know, it probably made sense to Blake Snyder. I have done my due diligence and searched for answers online, but haven't found much, just some weak ass defenses.

Also, I really hated that he says Chinatown and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? are basically the same movie because no shit. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is a parody of noir, and was adapted from the script for a never-produced third film in what was supposed to be a Chinatown trilogy. But even then, I don't get how you can say they're the same movie without pointing out the strong "Buddy Love" through line in Roger Rabbit!

This whole chapter was a total miss for me. Decent advice at the start that I've been hearing and preaching for a long time, but this typology sucks and he doesn't even seem to understand it (or the movies he's putting in it) very well. And since the typology sucks, it's a bad lens for understanding the underlying rules of writing, of story structure, the components of story, etc.

[lillotte17]

I'm replaying DA:I, because of course I am, and I have just got to say that 10 years later I am still so salty about the retcon about the handling of Dalish mages. I seriously cannot fathom why they made that choice, it goes against everything we learned about Dalish culture in the first 2 games. EVERYTHING.

Dalish Origin in DA:O shows you that while somewhat insular, Dalish clans are FIERCELY protective of their individual members. Mahariel and Tamlen are just two hunters, but Keeper Marethari has the whole clan wait for Mahariel to recover (which takes several days at least) and then for them to mount a search and rescue for Tamlen, all while the threat of the nearby village sending soldiers to chase the clan off is looming over your heads. Zathrien's clan seems to have a similar mentality. Everyone knows everyone and even if they don't get along, they protect and care for one another. They are family. A single death is felt by everyone. One person leaving the clan is a reason for everyone to mourn. Children are cherished. Magic is precious. They wouldn't simply throw someone out into the cold, especially not a child.

In DAII, Marethari once again has the whole clan waiting in an unsafe place, hoping Merrill will change her mind and come home. Although she is the Keeper, it's not like the rest of the clan has no say in this. They all want her to come back. And they accept Feynriel and help him with his magic, despite him being half human.

Granted, you could make the argument that not all the clans are the same and some of them aren't as close or caring as the clans we've seen in the first 2 games, but even in DA:I, Keeper Deshanna writes to the Inquisition, hoping they will send Lavellan back to them and trying to smooth out any cultural misunderstandings that might have happened. She's clearly ready to extend whatever power she has to keep them safe, and get them back home.

I think it would bother me less if there was more of a mix in terms of how other characters spoke about Dalish customs, but literally every single character who has something to say about it tells you that clans dumping kids with magic in the woods alone is a common practice, and it just... It makes NO sense. Sure, maybe a few clans do it, but for it to be COMMON? No. They need to keep the clan numbers up, and they NEED to ensure that they have mages in the clan at all times. Their whole ideology is that their gods will return when they are 'true' elves again, and part of that is HAVING MAGIC. It makes no sense. It makes NO sense for them to just throw away children to let them starve in the woods. And why? to avoid Templars?? Do the Templars keep track of where every Dalsih clan is moving at all times?? How??? That doesn't make sense either.

Listening to Minaeve makes me CRAZY because she's so bitter (understandably) about what happened, but like...baby girl you were seven and traumatized, and the Chantry actively hates the Dalish and tried to wipe them out (repeatedly). Are you sure what you think happened is what actually happened, and not what they told you happened???

I dunno man, I just hate that rewrite a lot. I hope the new characters are proud of their heritage and setting the record straight about this kind of thing.

[celaenaeiln]

Do you think (I hope this doesn't sound as if I hate the batkids but im just genuinely curious), if the bat kids (Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, etc) came earlier, like Robin Dick and Batman when they have still a rather good(?) relationship and before Dick leaving and before canon time of Bruce meeting Jason) met Bruce, will he take them in and/or adopt them?

Tbf, Dami is biological son so Bruce might take him in either way, but what do you think?

No it doesn't sound like that at all! :)

Honestly I don't think it would've mattered if any of the robins had met Dick and Bruce when they had a good relationship. First of all, Bruce only took in Jason because he missed Dick and wanted a Robin. So if Dick was still with Bruce, Bruce would feel no desire or thought to take in anyone. Furthermore, Jason isn't the first troubled talented kid that Bruce has met over the years. Bruce and Dick have been solving cases and helping such kids for years so Bruce taking in Jason during Dick's absence was more of a "right place at the right time" sort of thing.

For similar reasons, that's also why he wouldn't have taken in Tim. Bruce took in Tim under Alfred and Dick's encouraging and also because Tim made a good point about Batman needing a Robin. B was literally killing himself through self-destructive techniques because Jason died and grief does that to people. He lost a robin. If Dick had been the one that died during his Robin years, then Tim might have ended up Robin but it's debatable because he would've been younger than 13 at the time. But if he waited until he was old enough, then Bruce would've killed himself in grief by then. However since Dick is still alive, healthy, and on great terms, Tim wouldn't have entered the picture. Although, if he worked up the nerve to reach out to Dick sooner, Dick would've had a new baby brother a lot earlier.

Stephanie only became Robin because Bruce was trying to manipulate Tim to come back. He knew that Tim would hate him if he endangered his loved ones so by making Stephanie robin, Tim would have to return because he knows the dangers of being Robin. So no Tim, no Stephanie.

Damian. Damian would become Robin and that's canon! THERE'S ACTUALLY A SAME AGE DICK AND DAMIAN STORY!!!!

In this story, Talia suddenly drops off Damian with Bruce and he finds out that his father has another kid-Dick. It's a heart warming story of them getting to know each other with Raven, Gar, and Maxine.

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #1

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #1

When the tracker doesn't work he gets really worried so he calls Bruce about it. And Bruce is just like, "Whatever, it'll be fine, Dick. He was raised by assassins, he can take care of himself. I need to go."

But Dick is in full Big Brother Mode. So what does he do? He spies on Damian through CCTV cameras and then gets even more worried that Damian might be kidnapped or involved in something dangerous because oh my god there's random people whose identification don't come up with Damian.

So Dick then rushes out of the manor and goes on a road trip, tracking him down. Damian's friends are surprised and creeped out to see a guy and when Damian looks, he is not happy. Damian does not like Dick. But Dick in any universe will always be a responsible older brother.

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #1

At this point Dick is fed up.

Is that what Damian wants? Fine.

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #1

So they have a bunch of mini-competitions from archery to hacking to parkour to fighting to etc and Damian's getting more and more frustrated that he keeps tying while Dick is in it for a good time. I think Dick's genuinely happy about this because he's viewing it as a bonding experience but everything comes to head when Damian reaches his limit

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #2

Things don't get better but the event progresses because Slade's wife Adeline (to whom he's still married to) is working with an evil organisation that collects metas and non-humans is searching for Gar so they need to do something fast. There are also flashbacks from Damian's side of him being jealous that Bruce trusts Dick so much and how perfect he is which don't help. It makes Damian really furious that Dick doesn't even realize how Bruce trusts him and instead acts like he's best friends with Damian which just serves to tick him off more.

Dick and Damian end up working together, find out about Kori, escape Slade, and all's great in the end. They become the brothers they were always meant to be.

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #2

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #2

And then it becomes the real formation of the teen titans. Dick and Damian - brothers for life.

I wish there was an entire series on this! I want to see the continuation.

Putting aside the logistics of whether they would meet or not, if Dick had met any of the robins at any age, he would've adored the heck out of them. I think they all would've ended up in Damian's position but they would definitely warm up to him by the end because it's impossible not to love Dick, especially if he loves you.

There's also a canon comic moment where Robin! Tim meets Robin! Dick, and they get along far better than Damian and Dick here but still the same emotions run in the scenes.

Robin (1993) Issue #10

While Dick and Tim solve a case, Tim is just amazed by Dick.

Robin (1993) Issue #10

Robin (1993) Issue #10

He's a little salty too. "Dick's going to beat me to the punch. I'm older than him. At this point I've got more experience than him. And he's got me playing catch-up. The little gloryhound..."

Robin (1993) Issue #10

"Like I need him to remind me."

Robin (1993) Issue #10

The way Tim and Damian feel the same way - it's two different comics, but they both feel stressed by Dick for the same reasons.

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #2

They feel like the need to live up to Dick but Dick doesn't feel that they have anything to prove because he just genuinely likes them for who they are. This feeling is a source of friction on the Robins' side, but it's also important they have this because you can't really know someone if you don't overcome your differences. The fact that they have to learn about each other brings out both of their greatest strengths.

Like in the Robin comic, Tim suspects something is off and Dick goes along with it. Tim's right and in the end they catch the bad guy and figure out the escape plan.

Robin (1993) Issue #10

To which Dick says, "Oh yeah! I can see how you got your job. Robin."

Robin (1993) Issue #10

Tim's happy face <3333

Overall, I'd say that Bruce wouldn't take any of the Robin in during Dick's younger days. But if he did, Dick and the Robins would become the best of brothers.

Oh but you know what'd be exciting? Dick and Stephanie's same age Robin au! Tim, Damian, and Jason's would all be sort of the same. They would struggle with Dick's standing but love him possessively in the end. But I have no idea how Stephanie and Dick would go. Of course they would love each other but same age brother and sister?! I WANT THAT SO BAD!!! Their dynamic would be crazy!! The amount of grey hairs Bruce would have? The ultimate chaos duo, they'd feed into each others' energies! Gotham would be a goner.

[unabashednightmarepizza]

Merula snyde x M/C (no gender)

Soulmate

It is impossible to lie to your destined soulmate.

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼𝑠 𝑁𝑜 𝑈𝑠𝑒 𝐼𝑛 𝐿𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔

Warning: Spoilers for the "Conjure a Patronus" and "Letter from Hogwarts" quests.

A/N: Damn, this took a long time for me to write for some reasons... Perhaps I have a difficult relationship with Merula, not knowing whether to love her or strangle her.

Prompts: I don't care what they say about me, loving you was really hard, I need somebody to hold me, and it's all for you from this

As little kids, people often thought about having their other half. Someone that was destined to be their one and only, decided by some higher power or whatever. Maybe the idea of someone being created just for them amazed them with the metaphysics of the whole system, or not having to seek love and fail over and over benefited them maybe.

Whatever the reason was, in a magical world like yours, it wasn't so unusual to hear such thing.

Most witches and wizards had their soulmate when they start the school, or work, since they spent most of their childhood and teenagehood in the school.

But you? No luck as of late.

It wasn't like you were actively seeking out to find whoever your soulmate was. All your focus was either on Quidditch, the Vaults and your brother, or...

The task given to you, right now.

There was already so much going on in your life, and you were just a teen, so many things that it made you often loose your appetite and just hang your head low while your head pounded.

Adding finding your soulmate and bringing whoever that person down with you into this shithole didn't seem fair to either one of you.

You just wanted... some peace of mind.

" What's that troubled look, Y/L/N? Spit it out."

You lifted your head to see Merula, your kind of enemy, looking at you with her usual snarky and mischievous eyes as a scoff left you. "Nothing, Merula. Why do you care?"

Merula smirked as she sat down in front of you, leaning the upper half of her body on the table as she looked at you with unreadable eyes.

At least for you.

If she wanted to be honest, Merula was in a very big dilemna. On one hand, you have been her enemy ever since you started school. She always bullied you and your friends, constantly duelled you only to be the one who was defeated... But none of them were what disturbed her, no.

It was the fact that they all made her left awestruck at your elegance, power and strength. And as if it wasn't enough, it also changed the beating of her heart too.

Soon, after she begrudginly accepted that "admiration" as the blonde Hufflepuff said, she had come to a frightening realization soon after you helped her with the whole Dementor case.

She couldn't lie to you, no matter how much she wanted or tried.

"You know how the saying that only those who are pure of heart can cast Patronuses?"

This was utterly so stupid and humiliating. At least for Merula. Her? The strongest witch admitting weakness? And as if it wasn't bad already, she couldn't lie to save her dignity?

To you, out of everyone?

Someone she bullied for as long as she could remember? Someone who probably hated her guts and might just do everything she did to them to her in return, and Merlin forbade it, much worse?

Yeah, that was the kind of luck she had.

You, a literal prodigy and the hero of Hogwarts, as her soulmate?

Fucking wild.

" I thought learning the Patronus Charm would let me prove that I'm not the same as my parents... But now that I'm close to achieving my goal, I'm not so sure if I want to know..." she continued and sighed out, relaxed a bit more now. She didn't lift her head to look at you or Tonks, she could already feel the shocked states you were giving her.

And suddenly, she felt like crying because one, you were her soulmate and two, she was being emotional in front of you and wanted you to hug her thightly.

And after the whole mess was over and she was looking at your expecting eyes, shining with a playfull beam, she considered to be... nicer to you, and get to know you better until she was ready to tell you that you were soulmates.

In her own special way.

"Thanks for saving me... both from the Dementor and from an answer I'm not ready for."

You gave her a soft, understanding smile. Hope for becoming friends blossoming in you for the first time.

"You are welcome, Merula.

Back to the present time, she looked at you shaken after you clicked your fingers before her eyes, worriedly looking at her since she never was this much silent. Because your sour expression is making me loose my appetite, that's why.... She wanted to say, snarky just like she normally was but instead...

" I saw that gloomy look on your face from across the hall and could tell you were wigging out about something..." was what left her mouth. It wasn't like her words wasn't sarcastic still, but considering the fact that she "hated" you, it was a shock to hear that the Merula Snyde was worried about you.

You eyed her curiously while gaping at her, completely surprised how she showed... care? Merula Snyde, the ever crude enemy of yours, being soft? Because of you?

You adjusted on your seat, shuffling a bit at your slightly faster heart. You couldn't lie that since the day you two met, she changed both physically and obviously, emotionally. She was much stronger than she was once, definetly had gotten taller and... more pretty.

At first, when you realized that she could be your potential soulmate, you flipped. Literally. Cursing at Merlin and the universe for suddenly throwing you in a cliché "enemies to lovers" trope while the Vaults and your brother was still a huge problem. The girl literally tried to kill you many times, though it might have not been her intention really, and more often than not, looked down at you or what you did. She was always so against you and what you did so why?

Why did she have to be your soulmate?

Merula looked at you anxiously when your eyes hardened, feeling uneasy for the first time like ever. Every minute you spent not answering her and looking into her eyes directly, she got even more anxious and also curious about what was going on through your head.

But she was Merula, and she couldn't show... care and worry. "So? What is it this time? Is there a dragon on loose in the castle and you haven't been able to duel it yet?"

A snort left you at her question, though you didn't hold back from rolling your eyes at her. "Well... It's not like that, obviously. Though it would be fun to see it and have you fight it just to prove me." You smiled softly at her as she widened her eyes at the burning feeling on her cheeks, and looked down shyly. Your heart stopped for a second at the bashfull girl that was sitting in front of you and not the "enemy" you had been dealing with for the past years. Your cheeks flushed and you looked around to see if anyone was watching you two, because Merlin knew it was near impossible for you two to sit still peacefully.

"I just..." you sighed tiredly and leaned back on your seat, taking the sight of Merula, your soulmate, with a heavy heart as you recalled your memories, or at least... tried to.

"I just try to remember my first magical moment, the first time I used magic... I know Jacob was there, we never were apart from each other." Your eyes glazed over, the missing feeling of your brother's disappearance still heavy on your heart.

Amd Merula, for the first time at seeing your face, felt bad about bullying you about him and his "potential death".

Everyone has been telling you to stop, before you also went mad like your brother, especially your parents. They didn't want their only child left to be striken with the same thing as their eldest, they didn't want to loose you too.

But... What if he was just waiting for you to help him? What if only you could help him?

" I know it's locked away somewhere in my head but I can't seem to recall it. I have been asking my friends about their own first time in hopes that it will shake something loose... But so far? Nothing..."

Well, the sight of the usual cheerful and happy you, being all sad... Didn't sit right with Merula and it definetly wasn't because her heart squeezed painfully in her chest as if she felt your pain as her own. What was this feeling of making you smile and annoy her at the same time? Why didn't she like that feeling on your face? Was she getting soft over you already? Did it... annoy her, being soft and loving and considerate, when it was you who she was involved with?

Nope, not at all.

She gulped her nerves down and looked at you for a second. They aren't some Dementor, they aren't gonna suck the life out of you.

"I... remember the first time I used magic."

Wait... Was she helping you?

You lifted your head slowly to look at her, watching as she was looking behind you to avoid your eyes.

" It left quite an impression on everyone involved." You gaped at her, shocked with your hand up in the air with the fork you held, surprised at her... words.

"Merula... Are you trying to help me?"

That made the red alarms go off in Merula's mind as her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed in a deep red color.

Oops, she caught me!

"O-Of course! I'm the Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts, after all! And you wouldn't be able to get the job done, like... at all! And it's also natural that my origin story is something impressive!"

"And how do I know that you aren't lying?" You couldn't help but question, your words leaving your lips without your control. But you regretted them just the same when Merula's face fell and her eyes looked at you through her lashes sadly.

A sight that you never dreamed even in your wildest dream.

Just when she was opening up to you slowly, you had to go and ruin it, right Y/N?

"Why the hell would I lie to you?"

No, it was your imagination... Merula's voice didn't shake with disbelief at your question.

You shook your head in confusion, everything becoming overwhelming suddenly. "I don't know, Merula. When it comes to you, I don't know anything except you wanting to destroy me... I mean you lied to me when I was just 11 and made me a food for the Devil's Snare... You can't-"

"No matter how much I want to, I can't lie to you... Trust me, I tried."

That... was the bomb only she could drop. A bomb that threatened to ruin everything, one that could destroy whatever nice things she could do or say.

And though she hoped you didn't understand the heavy meaning behind her words, you did...

"You?"

One word, three letters, and the coldest rone you ever had... And soon, Merula's face twisted in anger and she bolted out of Hall, leaving you in shock as you tried to hold onto her shirt with your heart being dropped to your stomach.

"Merula, wait! I didn't mean to-"

But it was too late.

"What do you want, Y/L/N? I'm studying." You winced at the cold tone she used towards you, her eyes never leaving the page before her at the empty potions classroom. You didn't mean to sound so cold back then, in the Great Hall, but... you were just surprised.

Her? Your soulmate?

What kind of a romcom was this?

Besides, you thought she would never care about such thing, yet alone getting emotional over them...

Maybe you were more of a bad person for assuming so...

"You have been reading the same page for 5 minutes already... Do you think I'm deft enough to believe in that?" You leant over the pillar of the class with your arms crossed in front of your chest, with a soft yet sad smile on your face as she buried her face deeper into her book that she definetly wasn't reading anymore.

"Are you sure you want me to answer that question?" She slapped the book close as she teasingly, yet with a hint of anger which was justifiable, looked at you. You sighed guiltily as your arms fell and rubbed your temples with thight circles. You were already done with blaming yourself, you already felt like a total jackass for what you said, but Merula wasn't helping you fixing it either.

"Why are you so annoying... Merula, I'm trying to fix what I-"

"Then, don't bother! You made it pretty clear then how you saw it... saw me."

You sighed heavily as you sat down next to her, already feeling another headache coming. But you didn't care, if this was the last chance you had to have somewhat a happy future...

You had to fix this mess, the mess you created... Especially after witnessing how much this meant to her, how important it was for her to see you accept her.

"Look, Merula, you can keep avoiding the subject all you want," a scoff left her as she shook her head at you, disappointed with angry tears filling her eyes. Were you really going to scold her? Was she that much of not worthy for love?

What was she expecting anyways? That you would fall into her arms? Call her the love of your life? Her, who was the daughter of two death eaters? Who people saw as another potential one?

"But, contrary to what you might think right now, I'm not giving up on you, I'm not leaving you. So you might as well cooperate and talk to me."

Silence scretchted. One minute, two minutes... It was probably right before the third one ended that she spoke, finally gathering her courage.

"Why?"

"Why what?" You tilted your head in confusion, making her shake her head in disbelief at herself for feeling warm at your adorable curiosity.

"Why don't you give up on me? Clearly, I don't mean anything to you by your previous-"

"Merlin, just..! Let me explain myself, okay? No questions until the end. Once in your life, don't throw a snarky comment." You exclaim harshly, your hands flying up to either side of your face with your eyes shut in slight anger. Merula looked at you frozen, suddenly feeling hot all over her body at the intense eyes you were giving to her.

She nodded silently, a first for her, and nodded at you. You sighed nervously, suddenly aware of the weight of your next words would bring.

They would either be the start of something new, or be the reason why everything would go down for good.

You took a deep breath and dived in.

" My reaction from earlier wasn't because of disgust." Another scoff, met with your raised brows as Merula apologized silently. " I know it's hard to believe, especially when I acted like a true bitch. But... What I meant, what I wanted to just say was that..."

Damn, this is harder than I thought...

"Is that there was no possible way that someone like me was your soulmate. That's why I was like that..."

Merula was shocked. Actually that could be a understatement, because she never thought she would see the day that the usual confident you would sound so fragile and insecure of yourself.

Especially because of her... Because, wasn't she supposed to be the one who is insecure? Her parents were Death Eaters, in Azkaban, and pretty much everyone hates her in the school.

Meanwhile you had many friends, was the Quidditch captain and a prefect who was loved by many in the school. There were probably even some guys and girls who would die to be with you...

You had everything to offer to a possible lover, meanwhile she had nothing.

Why were you thinking like that?

Before she could talk and reassure both you and herself, you continued urgently, wanting to let everything go before she threw a "Depulso" or perhaps even more of a dangerous charm at you.

"Loving you was really hard, accepting it after many sleepless nights was even harder. Because I was scared of what others would think, what our families would think. And the fact that you hated me didn't help..."

"I don't care what they say about me, they can throw shit at me for all I care but you... You are the one good thing that might have happened to me in my short years, for now, and I don't want to... loose you."

She held your hand in a thight grasp between hers as she lifted your joined hands to your eyesight, pointing to them. She would show you all those silly worries of yours was pointless, that she was ready to do whatever it took to fight for you, for herself.

She would live for herself.

"This? This means I care about you, not I hate you. Even when we first met, I never hated you... Well, maybe a bit."

You both chuckled at her attempt to be smooth and you squeezed her hand back in response. You really wanted to believe in both of you, that you two could stand together until the very end...

But what if...

"But... How about our families? Continuing the line or whatever? What would others think-"

Merula sighed annoyed before she flicked your forehead almost in affection. That dumb head of yours is gonna be the reason of your end...

"I just need someone to hold me, Y/L/N..." she said sternly. " Love me without any conditions, any expectations. And... If some fate decided that it was you who would do it, I'm fine with it." She looked down to where your hands were resting on the table in deep thoughts before she gingerly smiled after so long.

"I don't need the money, fame or anything... Though I realized it late. I know I'm rough around the edges but all the love, care, softness and tenderness I have left... It's all for you, they are all yours."

Those dumb romance books really worked...

Wow, I... I never thought Merula had such a romantic side... There is no reason to doubt her.

"Okay." You said breathless, nodding in happiness.

"Okay?" Merula asked in confusion at how easily you... accepted her. Maybe, she shouldn't have made fun of you for being so accepting with everyone else.

"Yeah... Sorry for being an arsehole in the Hall."

She laughed freely at your sheepish look, and you basked in it. She is even more pretty when she laughs...

Behind that laugh though, laid Merula's biggest fear. Now that you two clarified everything... There was only one thing left to do.

"Then... Wouldyougooutwithme?" She hurriedly asked, not wanting the embrassment of asking you out take over her completely. At first, you stood shocked at your seat, not expecting her to talk so fast. And Merula thought it meant rejection, that it was too soon, but you understood her perfectly.

Perhaps what others told you was true: You and Merula were much more alike than neither one of you thought.

"Merula..." you smiled softly at her, " I'd love to go out with you." She was finally able to breathe normally as relief took over and then her mind started to wander. Where to take you...

Black Lake? No, too silent. Hogsmeade? You teo could sit at the teashop and then buy candy and eat it later on the train.

Yes, that was okay... What?

In a spur of moment, you shyly kissed her cheek and bolted out of the class, but not before whispering to her "I can't wait, Merula. For whatever you plan."

Huh..? Well, maybe soulmates weren't that overrated after all, if they gave suxh pure happiness to even the coldest looking girl Hogwarts had ever seen.

[sillypiratelife]

Falling for zosan and namivivi because I am a sucker for parallels and relationships that are not what people would expect of them.

For example, I prefer when Zoro and Sanji don't get together because they are sexually attracted to each other, but because there is literally no real reason forcing them together but they choose to be together either way.

Why do they fight? Why each other?

There's nothing about fate or blind love in there.

Loving Sanji is a decision for Zoro. He picks Sanji. He decides he wants to tease Sanji and fight with him and offer to Sanji those parts of himself that no one else has seen. Zoro loves deliberately, with all his being. He knows what he's getting into and he accepts it, a promise made to last forever. He did the same with Kuina and Luffy, so it doesn't make sense to me to have a version of Zoro that loves romantically 'cause there's no other option. Remember when he preferred to die over denying his ambitions? Or all the times he has sacrificed himself expecting nothing in return? Or the fact he is praised for following no one he doesn't want to and nothing but what pleases him?

And Sanji can only choose to love Zoro. It'd be a fight with his traumas and the persona he created to keep the hurt at bay, you know, "the romantic cook that loves and lusts for women". It wouldn't be fair or pretty either if Sanji was forced into it. I'm not saying he can't be sexually attracted to Zoro —and I must clarify, for me Zoro is fully on the asexual spectrum— but ultimately, I think that Sanji would never dive on it if not fully conscious about what it entails. Sanji has a lot of issues he must start working on before involving himself in anything romantic or sexual with a man. It's the guilt? The shame? The way he represses himself and denies himself happiness? The way he thinks he needs to fake an easygoing persona so that others wouldn't worry? The self-loathing? Zoro sacrifices himself because that's his duty and he knows himself and his wishes— he'd die to be the best swordman and he'd die for Luffy to be the pirate king and he'd die for his crew. He doesn't wish death, tho. Sanji? His self-sacrificing is born out of suffering and self-deprecation. Loving Zoro would be a choice, no doubt.

With Nami and Vivi, it's that the circumstances make them perfect for each other, just to later keep them apart.

Vivi and Nami fit together. It took Nami one single night and she knew she'd sacrifice anything— that they would sacrifice anything to help Vivi. Nami saw her own fear and loneliness and guilt and desperation reflected in the way Vivi made her lip bleed from her bite while the Igaram ship was on fire. They were "cursed" to survive. To fight and struggle and survive, because no one else could face Arlong or Crocodile. Little girls —kids, then teenagers— sailing to a world of crime where they got claimed by the organizations they hated the most, the one they wanted to tear down because they were hurting their home. Young attractive teen girls who turned their bodies into weapons to distract and surprise their enemies so they could have a chance to defeat them.

Girls who know what it's like to smile when you want to break down, what it's like to kneel out of frustration and scream and feel useless helpless.

The strawhat girls were to fucking hell as mere children and got out of there walking, okay?

What allowed the princess and the burglar to find companionship within the other were those things like the trauma of being the only one who could reclaim back their home or the fear of being alone against a situation bigger than themselves. Being honest, I'm not sure if they'd have clicked without it. In the end it's a bit funny, isn't it? Alabasta is the reason Vivi met the strawhats and the reason why she can't sail to go on adventures with them. In fulfilling the promise of saving Alabasta, Nami made it so that Vivi wouldn't be able to leave with them. Well, she could, but not really. Vivi is a good princess and she wouldn't abandon her people = her country.

Vivi suffered for being a rich princess, but saved herself + her people 'cause they underestimated how influential and powerful she could be. On the other hand, Nami suffered for being a poor no one first, then for being too important for Arlong to discard, yet they never expected that Nami would have so many people willing to fight for her.

Like a moth to flame, a girl reflected on water.

Vivi and Nami are an echo of each other, one that rings clear and true across the seas. For me, there could be no one else for them. Who else would get it? Who else could understand what they can't explain? What they've lived through? Who held Vivi and swore it'd be okay that night at Whiskey Peak? Who took care of Nami when she was at death's door with fever for days? All the moments become a giant picture with them at the center of it. There's no one else. It couldn't be.

[whenlostinthedarkness]

You, Me, & The Constellations

Masc!Reader x Ellie Williams

Summary: This fic is based off of this request. This is your typical 'two best friends who have been secretly pining for each other for almost their entire lives, but finally confront each other with their feelings' kind of fic. This is a mix of flufff and super slight angst.

Warning: Things get slightly heated at the end, but honestly no warnings (if you see any you think I should add feel free to tell me!).

Word Count: 6.2k

Ellie was a force to be reckoned with, you knew this much was true.

What you didn't know was how literal this definition of the auburn haired girl was.

She was brunt with her enemies, a ruthless killer when she needed to be, and didn't take shit from anyone, even if it was someone she loved. But what truly struck you was just how deep the metaphorical arrow was in your chest from the moment that you laid eyes on her. How she indeed was a force to be reckoned with, but more so in the sense of how much she would fill up your life with a love that you didn't think was possible.

Ellie and Joel were brought into Jackson when you were just a fourteen year old kid. The both of you were around the same age so naturally you were lumped together, along with all of the other kids your age, but Ellie... there was always something different about Ellie.

You weren't sure if it was because she was loud and always striking up a joke in the middle of the worst situations, or how she was always the one getting praised from your teachers and mentors who were showing you different combat techniques to perform while out on patrol. Or just the simple fact that neither of you were like the other girls in your age group..at least not the ones you were around.

"You should smile more Ellie, wouldn't want anyone to think you're a prude." "Why are you always sitting with your legs spread, we wouldn't want the boys getting the wrong impression would we?" "You two spend too much time together..you're going to give people the wrong idea."

You and Ellie would scoff at anyone trying to tell her to dress "nicer", whatever that even means in a zombie apocalypse. And you would rather die than ask a guy if he wanted to walk around Jackson with you or, god forbid, you were never putting a dress on your body.

Through the years there was a constant pull to her and you never really could pin point why. At the time of your youth, it was easy to narrow it down to this just being someone who was your best friend who you had literally grown up with. However, as adulthood crept in and that feeling never seemed to cease, you began to dive deeper into this intense love that you had for Ellie.

What you hadn't realized was Ellie had done this deep dive of her feelings for you years before. The moment the both of you were introduced, she was hiding the fact that she wanted to marvel over how beautiful you were. The more and more the both of you connected and grew in friendship, the romantic feelings Ellie held for you would too grow more and more.

Ellie was young back then, but she knew what love felt like, and that feeling never wavered, simply just grew.

She was smitten, but didn't say anything. Primarily because she didn't think you returned that feeling, at least not one in a romantic nature. But in the back of her mind, Ellie also questioned how the both of you could be so close for years and years and years-either of you literally joined at the hip, which didn't go unnoticed to the Jackson dwellers-and have this feeling be strictly platonic.

It didn't help that neither of you had a reason to leave the others side.

---

"My mom keeps wanting to me to ask this dude out."

Sixteen year old you and Ellie were both sat criss cross in the grass located in the park in the middle of Jackson. Ellie had previously been devouring an apple, until your words made her stop in a heap of panic that she tried to conceal.

"What?"

"You know that one guy..fuck, I don't even know his name...but yeah, my mom thinks me and him would be 'really good together." As you recited the exact words your mother said, you couldn't help but pinch your face in disgust at even the thought of hanging out with that boy or any boy in that way.

"I mean..what's so bad about him?" Ellie asked with a slight pleasure to her tone at the fact that you seemed quite literally disgusted at the thought of this guy and you being anything but acquaintances.

"He's just", You began with a sigh, "I don't know... I just don't see him like that or any guy really."

At that, Ellie felt her shoulders perk up as a tiny smirk appeared on her lips as she continued to chew on her apple. "So..you don't like guys?"

You shrugged, staring off into the blue sky as you joined Ellie in continuing to feast on your snack.

You'd never really thought about it like that..but Ellie was right. You'd never really felt that romance or other lovey dovey bull shit with a guy before.

"Who knows. Maybe I'm broken," you chuckled as your hand went to pull apart pieces of the green grass that had grown up from the ground.

"Nah, you're not broken.."

You looked up at Ellie as she spoke the kind words..or what you thought were kind.

"...just a dumbass."

Ellie had a shit eating grin on her face as you shoved her shoulder playfully with yours.

"Shut up El."

---

From that day on, you could never see Ellie the same again.

Why didn't you want to ask that guy out? Why did it make you feel literally disgusted at the concept of a simple date with that guy..or any guy really? Why did you not feel even a fraction of that disgust when wanting to hang out with Ellie? Or even more with Ellie..

It didn't take long for you to start noticing things about Ellie that you hadn't previously before..or rather, viewing them through a different lens.

You always took note of how Ellie dressed and the way it complimented her vibe. However, you never truly stopped to take in the way her thighs were full and muscular as they filled up the denim, the way how when her sleeves were rolled up they complimented her strong forearm and biceps.

Now, you had to stop yourself with silent scolding so you wouldn't physically stare and marvel at Ellie, the work of art displayed in front of you basically every day.

---

You and Ellie were both in your early twenties now. Both still single, both still joined at the hip, and both still silently pining after the other as if their life depended on it.

"So according to this book and my journal.." Ellie trailed off from the rant she had been on for what felt like an hour as you both sat in her home; Ellie sitting up straight on her couch and you laying down with your back flat and your head in her lap as you tried your best to focus on the tattered novel that sat in your hands.

It was proving unsuccessful as your attention would get caught up in any random words or expression Ellie would shout as she sifted through her book and journal that were full of nearly ripped out and stained pages from all of the use she got out of them through the years.

"Yes! Okay, according to my calculations in this book there should be a full moon tonight!"

Gently, you let out a giggle as you peered over the top of your book and up at your best friend, "How the fuck are you able to calculate that?"

With a smirk, Ellie continued shifting through the pages of her book, "Cause I'm just that good, that's why."

"Mhmm, sure you are."

In admiration, you watched as Ellie grabbed the pencil she had previously tucked behind her ear, and scribbled what you could only assume was some science astro-what have you that you wouldn't be able to understand, no matter how much Ellie tried to teach you.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you inquired about what Ellie had been talking about earlier if there was in fact a full moon tonight.

"Are you going up to that hill tonight then?

"Yeah," Ellie nodded, setting her book next to her, "You should come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me. It'll be fun..we could bring a blanket and just chill and shit"

In her twisted mind, Ellie was internally praying you'd say yes. Not that she mentioned the star gazing just to entice you to come or anything. It absolutely wasn't her trying to do something that was the tiniest bit romantic in nature thinking it would somehow sprinkle loves magic pixie dust, or whatever the fairytale bullshit was.

"I don't know Ellie."

Though your voice came out as dismissive and indecisive to Ellie's ears, your thoughts were spiraling in a tornado-like whirlwind. Anytime Ellie asked you to hang out, whether it be to grab dinner together or to sit on the couch next to each other doing individual things, much like you were doing now-it never failed to have a hum of electricity going through the veins that connected like tendrils to your heart.

Hell, it seemed like ever since you realized how desperately in love you were with her, at the ripe age of sixteen, it had always been like this.

"C'monnn," Ellie dragged out her words with a whine. "It'll be fun and chill. Plus! It's the perfect weather."

Ellie never needed to convince you to hang out with her. You would gladly give up going to one of those fancy award shows that played on tv before..the ones that people had parties for and dressed up and shit. Of course, that was all before the fungus overcame the worlds cause and, frankly, before you were even born, but that was besides the point. What mattered was nothing, and you meant absolutely nothing, would prevent you from turning down a chance to hang with the girl you were invisibly pining after.

Matching Ellie's prior actions, you set your book to rest on the lumpy cushion on the couch. Your eyes shifted and found Ellie peering down at you like a kid anxiously awaiting the answer they were hoping for.

"Alright, I'm down."

"Excellent!"

You and Ellie ran around her home, stuffing everything the both of you thought you might need for the evening into a beige stained cloth bag. Of course, Ellie was nearing three bags of stuff before you put your foot down and insisted that you actually didn't need to bring 3 different types of alcohol with you.

"What if we want mixed drinks or something?"

"Ellie, we are in the midst of a zombie fucking apocalypse and you're thinking about mixed drinks?"

You playfully bullied your best friend, making her laugh as she came to her senses.

"Fine. Just wine then?"

You nodded with a smile before grasping the top of the bottle that was being cradled in Ellie's palm and stuffing it into the one bag that you had somehow talked Ellie down to.

As the both of you made your way up the hill, about a 1/2 mile from the residential area of Jackson, the air was crisp as it blew through the fabric of your hoodie. One would compare this kind of weather to a fall night; not too cold, not too hot.

"I think I see it."

Fifteen minutes into your walk, Ellie lifted her lean neck to peak over the prairie land greenery and point towards the direction where the grass rose above its usual flat laying land.

"'s gotta be."

"Cmon then!"

Suddenly, Ellie was grabbing your hand and pulling you into a running speed towards the direction of the hill; it felt like it did when you were kids and getting yourselves in trouble for disappearing into uncharted areas.

Even though you had both put your lives in danger at some points during these child-like escapades, you'd never trade those adventures for anything, especially when they were had with the person you loved more than anything.

You hadn't stopped giggling the entire run up the hill until you were breathing heavily for air once you came to a halt as you hit the highest point of the grass covered mount. Even as you breathed rapidly to catch your breath after running at an incline, you couldn't take your eyes off of Ellie as she marveled at the expanse of land that usually wasn't in view from the flat plains she called home.

Now she was able to see the trees and plains for miles as they ran as far as she could see until they met the nearing dark sky. Your smile was massive watching this girl, this beautiful fucking girl, as she had a grin smeared across her face and her eyes devoured the beautiful land that she had found just for the two of you.

Ellie felt pride in herself for being successful in the planing of this adventure that she created with you in mind. So excited, she felt as if she was on some sort of upper as she spread her arms out in full wing span and began to twirl around slowly.

You laughed, watching her stumble and nearly trip as her feet quickly pivoted her body around in a circle. The wind in her hair moving it so much so, that it was covering half of her face when she did eventually stop.

"You're going to make yourself dizzy!" you squealed as you ran up to Ellie and wrapped your arms around her shoulder which caused the both of you to fall to the grass in a fit of laughter.

The weather, her arm around your shoulder, your head on her chest; what could be more euphoric than this? You didn't know and you didn't care to explore any other options of euphoria. Not when you had this.

Ellie lips traveled down to the top of your head as her arm drifted from your shoulder down to the keys that hung on a clip attached to a belt loop on your jeans.

You were much too busy enjoying this moment that you didn't' notice Ellie moving her fingers along the few keys on your carabiner..until you felt her finger push the silver part in, releasing the clip from its denim loop.

Ellie hung the keys above her head like a mobile above a babies crib. Her eyes fixating on something as if she were on a mission.

You knowingly smirked, "It's next to the silver key", you glided your finger against the tip of the key. Next to it, was a paper clip nearly rusted to the point of breaking in half, yet somehow still clung on.

Ellie smiled as she ran her finger acrossed it, but doing so gently. "You still have it."

You nodded, "Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"

Ellie felt a warmth spread over her as she continued examining the relic from your teenage hood together.

"You remember when I gave it to you right?'

You nodded as your front teeth gently chewed on your bottom lip, "After the fall dance."

Ellie smiled as her mind began to picture everything about that night - the warmth of the twinkling lights set up in the barn in Jackson, the amount of alcohol Ellie had in her system that night...the way your flannel hugged you just right and how she nearly had to stop her drunken self from grazing her hand along your waist and lingering for however long you'd let her.

Ellie let out a blushed chuckle as she looked over at you as you now laid parallel to one another. Her hand held your key as she outstretched it to you in a way that nearly mimicked the Sistine chapel. You copied Ellie, stretching your arm out with your palm facing to the sky as she dropped the cold keys in your hand.

After the interaction, the both of you turned your eyes towards the sky as the conversation continued.

"Remember how hard Jesse freaked out over Dina in a dress."

You shook your hide slightly with an amused grin, "Oh god, yeah."

"I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head."

"I'm pretty sure they did."

Ellie raised her eyebrows as she muttered, "true", but the nonchalant conversation was quickly turned into Ellie frantically moving into a sitting position as her eyes stayed transfixed on the fully dark sky.

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy-"

"What? What's wrong?!," you shot up, joining in on her sitting stance.

But Ellie didn't have time to answer you as she rose to her feet and quickly grabbed her notebook out of the cloth bag that you both had packed.

You observed Ellie as she looked like a mad scientist wracking through all of their materials, but really, Ellie was searching for her notes..all the preparation she did for this night in the hopes that it would somehow work this time. That she could somehow win you over. Finally.

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck you're on about?"

Ellie looked over her shoulder, her finger marking the page she was searching for, as she looked at your questioning gaze as you now stood directly behind her.

"Sorry..", Ellie really was embarrassed. She was always finding herself doing this..this impulsivity before thinking everything all the way through. "I just wanted to uh-I wanted to get the blanket and everything set up now that the stars are out!"

Your eyes were telling of your befuddled expression; you weren't buying it, but you also weren't going to call out your best friend either.

"Alright well..help me get the blanket flat on the ground then?"

Ellie nodded as the both of you took the water proofed material out of the bag and held each of the opposing ends until the material was lying flat on the cold grass.

"I brought the other blanket too. Figured we would get cold when the sun went down."

"You're always thinking of the shit I'd never remember."

"And the shit you would regret," you quirked with a hint of ego.

"Yeah, yeah", Ellie smirked as she watched you come to a seated position with the bottle of wine and battery operated lantern in your hand. She joined you soon after with her knees pulled upwards and her elbows resting on the tops of her knee caps. The both of you passing the bottle back and forth between conversation.

"You going to tell me what that freak out was all about?"

"Oh..uh yeah..I just thought it would be cool to show you where all of the constellations are and I have them written in my notebook so-"

"That's so fucking cute," you interrupted because you simply couldn't hold that one in even if god himself commanded you not to.

Ellie breathed a sigh of relief at your glowing expression. The last thing Ellie wanted you to think was that she was lame. It didn't matter that you had never made her feel like that in the entirety of your friendship..she was still so nervous about having you perceive her in a positive way.

You watched as redness overtook Ellie's cheeks as she flipped her notebook open to the page her finger had marked.

Was that a blush? No, Maybe her cheeks were always that red.

You shook off the thoughts from your observation as you lowered your back to rest along the blanket, Ellie following suit as she held her notebook above her head.

"So you know where like Saturn and all that other shit is?"

Ellie nodded, "I think so."

Her voice was deep in thought as she began a repetitive motion of holding her notebook up to the sky, lowering down the notebook to fact check her studies, and then back to holding her notebook up again until she was certain she could recite it by memory.

"Alright, you see those stars over there," Ellie said, leaning her head slightly more in towards you as her finger pointed to the left side of the sky.

Your shoulder and head naturally moved inwards toward Ellie as you looked in the direction of her point. The warmth of each others bodies now a very prominent reminder of just how close you both were laying next to one another.

"That's Aquarius,", Ellie's finger began drawing out the stars for you and every other one she pointed out after that. Always talking softly as she murmured little facts about them and you nodding as you hung on her every word.

She could have been going on for hours or it could've just been 30 mins....neither of you knew, neither of you cared.

Eventually, you both fell into a comfortable silence as you laid inches apart from one another and took in the night sky now that it was filled with all of the knowledge Ellie had pumped into you.

You breathed in...and out. Wagering in your head how you got here. How the hell did you manage to get so lucky to have this person next to you as your best friend and confidant...but yet, there was another feeling there too. One that was screaming at you nearly all hours of every fucking day. One that was begging you to entertain the thought of Ellie as your lover or to at least attempt to convey these feelings you had for her to Ellie.

But the hesitation was always stronger it seemed. Any time you felt yourself brave enough to finally fucking do something about it, at the last second, you chickened out.

You felt it, right now. This burning..aching feeling of how perfect this moment would be to say it. Say that you love her. Say that you'd wanted Ellie since you ever entertained the thought. Say everything you've wanted to say from the past few years and have them easily roll off your tongue...

"Have you ever had a crush on anyone?" The words came tumbling out of your mouth faster than your brain could sooner process what exactly you were saying.

Ellie was so taken aback, the wind literally fell out of her chest as her mouth hung open and her gaze remained on the galaxies.

"Like..a crush crush?"

Regardless of your nerves and regret, you couldn't help but chuckle. "Are there two types of crushes?"

Ellie's cheeks reddened at the obvious. "Ouch."

You rolled your head to the side, looking right at Ellie. "You know what I mean like...you like someone and want to kiss and stuff.."

"And stuff?" Ellie quirked, mimicking your head roll so your faces were both staring at each other.

"Shut the fuck up. God, I hate you."

Ellie smiled timidly as she shook her head very lightly, "No you don't"

"Alright," your sarcastic tone evident, "I don't hate you, but are you going to answer my question."

Ellie began digging her pointer finger into the cuticle on her thumb, nervously picking at the skin as she dove into her brain, trying to figure out what the fuck you were on about with a question like this.

"I mean..yeah."

Suddenly your playful smile fell, "When?"

God, Ellie had never felt such a gleaming, hot spotlight on her before. It was almost blinding, but more so in the mental sense. She couldn't find words; it was like her brain was paused as her lips moved, but no sound was coming out all the while her eyes moved along the pattern of the blanket you were both lying on.

You sensed Ellies hesitancy.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Ellie's eyes moved back up to yours. She gulped, her eyes moved down to your lips before she urgently brought them back to your eyes.

"No we can it's just..I don't know. We never talk about this stuff."

You nodded, "Yeah..guess I'm just curious."

"Curious about what?' Ellie asked with a pinched look to her face.

"What it feels like to like someone."

Ellie hadn't realized the large, deep breath she exhaled as she rolled back over to lay on her back.

How the hell was she going to get herself out of this question? Could see even do that?

"Why do you ask", Ellie settled in an attempt to somehow guide the conversation away from her spilling her entire heart to you.

It was your turn to mimic Ellie as you rested your back on the ground and brought one of your arms to rest under your head with eyes entranced on the lights in the sky.

"Don't try to change the subject on me."

"'M not!"

"Then tell me!"

"Fine”, Ellie's words came out quickly as she wracked her brain..but she came up with nothing. There was nothing that could guide this situation away, you were clear with your persistence on the matter.

Ellie was out of ideas and barriers from her feelings.

"It's like..", she began, trying to stifle her thoughts moving millions of miles per minute.

"It's heart stopping. One day you have no idea who this person is or that they even exist..but then, you see them and I mean really see them."

Her palms began to sweat, but Ellie didn't even notice. It was like her brain was running a race with no hopes of stopping. Now that she was talking about it, she knew if she stopped, she may never be able to do this again.

"Once you see them for everything they are and this feeling still doesn't go away. It's insane. It literally feels like you are on drugs because this person is just..", Ellie sighs, bring her hands up to rake along her tied back hair. "...this person is your everything. You can't stop thinking about them. Everything is them and they are everything. It's like your brain can't function properly without thinking about them or seeing them and It feels like somethings missing when they aren't around."

Ellie's passion in her tone caught you completely off guard as she spoke so poetically about something that you had never even known Ellie had felt before..she'd never mentioned it with you, which tugged at your heart strings slightly. Knowing that she had these profound feelings for a girl..it was strange and made you feel a pain that you'd never experienced before.

Was this jealousy? Knowing that Ellie was constantly being consumed by another who, you assumed, wasn't you..not to mention she hadn't even mentioned her fucking name to you. If you were being honest, those were only the foreground thoughts, what was really eating you up inside was that all of these things Ellie was describing were the exact way you felt about...her.

It was like a confirmation that you were indeed in love with your best friend and had been for...fuck, your entire life.

All you could manage to do was lay there, you didn't know what to say or how to respond. How can you move along this subject with the very person you were in love with?

Ellie felt a ting of embarrassment at her speech that had tumbled out of her mouth unexpectedly. She moved her pupils to watch you out of the corner of her eyes, curious of your silent and still form. "Did that answer your uh-your question,"

Your body remained still as you moved your pupils from one star to the next while you tried to gather words in response to Ellie..but now you felt bashful. You were the one who started this conversation, and now you were feeling as Ellie had moments ago. Mouth slightly moving with no words being vocalized; you were speechless.

"Hey."

Quickly, your eyes moved to Ellie who was now resting on her side with her arm bent while holding her up.

Startled, you blinked quickly as you rolled over on your side to face Ellie.

"Sorry..I got lost in thought I guess."

"What are you thinking about?"

Your eyes grew twice in size as you fixed your gaze on the exposed fern on your best friends arm..suddenly you felt the urge to brush your finger along the inked skin.

Ellie followed your gaze, moving her arm slightly more outwards so her hand was now grazing your shoulder.

Your mind went on autopilot, that's your only explanation for the way your pointer finger moved to brush along the warmth of Ellie's skin as you glided along each of the lines and bumps of scar tissue on her arm.

It was as if this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Sure, the both of you had hugged, rested on a floor together, sat next to each other- all of that, but this. This was intimate. It felt different. Like seeing a rare bird in the wild, Ellie was careful to not move as she watched the way your finger moved along her skin until it stopped moving, but still never left her skin.

"Ellie."

"Yeah?", she replied quickly. Suddenly, both of your eyes were on each others faces with a tension so thick it could cut through pure steel.

"I think I have a problem."

Ellie was confused, "What kind of problem?"

Fuck.

You outwardly sighed as you shook your head, feeling tears brimming at your waterline as you attempted your very best at pushing them away...but Ellie knows all of your little habits, especially when you're trying to push away tears out of frustration.

"Hey," Ellie's hand moved slowly as it came to cup your chin.

Her touch made you flinch slightly, until you realized you were safe.

Ellie was safe for you and had always been..you just hoped she would still be your safe person even after you confess the thing that was inevitably going to be said at some point.

And that 'some point' was tonight.

Ellie's eyes were sympathetic as she looked at you with a questioning expression, but she remained silent and waiting for you to speak when you felt comfortable.

"I think I like someone," you said between sniffles as you leaned the weight of your head into the palm of Ellie's hand.

Ashamed to be feeling such a way, Ellie shuttered at the the feeling of her heart shattering. Her first feeling was a jolt straight to her heart. She knew this would happen one day. You couldn't be her girl in her mind forever..it was always just a matter of time. Ellie just didn't think that time would happen tonight.

Regardless, Ellie was prepared to stick with you through it all. Through the crush, the puppy love, the full blown in love feeling-she would stick it out forever, even if it meant watching you with another who wasn't her. Ellie knew you were her forever and she would take you in any form..even if it killed her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ellie said those words, yet feared the answer.

Out of anger towards yourself, you let out a single sarcastic laugh as you wiped your other hand along your cheek to smear away the water that had begun falling down your cheek.

"What if..fuck." You mumbled the last curse word as your words began to shake with the anxiety you felt, but you persisted.

"What if I only feel that way with you?"

Surely Ellie misheard you..there's no fucking way.

"What?"

You rolled your eyes, tears now streaming down your face as you looked at your best friend in the eyes. What was there to hide now? You just laid it all out on the table.

"I like you Ellie."

That stabbing pain Ellie felt earlier was melting by the second and quickly being replaced by a warmth that spread through her entire body.

"Please say something," you pleaded, looking at Ellie like you were helpless because that's exactly how you felt.

You needed to know what you just said wasn't jeoparodzing the friendship that you cherished more than anything in the entire world.

"So..you like me?"

You nodded, but Ellie still wasn't convinced this wasn't a hallucination of some sort. She needed to hear you say it plain and clear with everything laid out.

"So everything I just said th-the heart stopping shit, the feeling like you’re on drugs. All of that is what you feel for me?"

You couldn't nod quicker if you tried; Ellie couldn't stop her smile from spreading across her face if her life depended on it.

"Maybe we're supposed to be together then,"

You watched as Ellies shoulders flexed up and down in a shrug motion. Something so nonchalant even though Ellie felt everything but that.

In pure awe and amazement and joy and..so many other fucking emotions, you just stared at Ellie with a glimmer to your eye that hadn't been there all night, fuck, or your entire life, until now.

"Pinch me."

"What?"

"Fucking pinch me. There's no way this is real."

Ellie let out a loud chuckle. "I'm not pinching you..", she said, moving her hand slightly so her thumb could caress your cheek.

"But this is real."

"Promise?", you said, holding your pinky up in the air which elicited a good smirk from Ellie.

"Promise."

The both of you crossed pinkies and remained there, enchained in one another, even as Ellie began to speak.

"I've loved you for so long...you have no idea."

You nodded, "I think I do have an idea actually."

Ellie looked at you with honest to god love in her eyes as she chewed on the inside of her cheek before speaking.

"How long?"

"Oh god."

"What?, Ellie said, amusement in her tone as you sat straight up.

You smirked as an idea came to mind, "You first."

"Oh, it's like that now?"

You hummed an mhmm as your hand inched closer to the tips of Ellie's fingers that lay flat on the ground.

"Since I was fourteen."

"No fucking way," you nearly shot up from your seated position in pure shock.

Ellie nodded, "It's always been you for me."

The words felt foreign to be saying out loud to you-the person Ellie had forever pinned over. But it felt good, so fucking good.

"This is crazy...." Your fingers were now fully intertwined with your best friends..except this time it wasn't friendly. It was love. It felt like fucking love.

"It is..I never thought-"

"You had no idea i liked you? Never?”, you interrupted to which Ellie responded with a shake of her head.

"No idea."

A comfortable silence took over the both of you for a minute or so as you both reveled in this new feeling. This relief of getting a massive weight off of your chest and, on top of that, having the weight not crush the beautiful friendship the both of you had. Now, the friendship was just starting to grow into its fullest form.

"What do we do now?", you spoke softly truly not knowing what to do with all of this-but in a good way.

Suddenly, Ellie moved her fingers out of the web you both had made. Confusion took over your face, but was quickly washed away as she moved her hand to your chin.

Ellie didn't say a word as she tilted your face upwards ever so slightly which lined up your lips perfectly. All that was left was to close the distance, which you didn't hesitate to do.

With urgency, your face moved inwards until you felt Ellie’s chapped lips against yours. It was like a magnet the way your mouths molded together in a crushing kiss that was full of so many emotions and memories and yearning that had been packed away in secret for years.

Your jean clad legs began to move as if it were instinct for you to seat yourself into Ellie’s lap, all the while your lips never detaching from one another.

Ellie’s hands were nearly frantic as she gripped onto your belt loops and enlaced her thumbs with the denim fabric. Your combat boots dug into the blanket covered ground as both of your lips now moved furiously against one another as the both of you made up for lost time.

Soon, your hands were moving Ellie’s jacket off of her shoulders, followed by Ellie unbutton the top button on your flannel until you stopped her.

“Ellie, hold on”, you spoke with a laughter In between each word.

Ellie pulled away with a heaving chest, letting her hands drop to the tops of your thighs as you remained in her lap.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I just-“

“Heat of the moment. You’re totally fine. I felt it too”, you interrupted with a knowing smile.

You both shared a look of content smiles as you took in the others face. Ellie and her swollen lips, you and your hair now out of place as some front strands were pressed against your forehead. The both of you were the sight of repressed love that was now finally coming to fruition.

Like earlier in the evening, Ellie’s hands found themselves playing with the keys sat on the hook looped around your belt loop, except this time…you were hers and she was yours.

Nothing would ever be the same after this.

[exo-raskreia]

i know you probably hear this all the time but your blog is so on point on the horrendous ending of bleach and the endgame couples.

tbh i don't even care that ichigo and rukia didn't end up together... okay after all these years i still give a huge damn that these two aren't endgame. but seriously idc that much that they aren't together. but what i'm so pissed is who ichigo ended up with! be so fr! orihime and ichigo... i could and would right an essay on how they are so incompatible. i would've prefered if he ended up with tatsuki or even some rando. he waited until they were married for him to say her first name... like i get that he wants to be respectable and they weren't that close but ichigo barely knew rukia for a week and he was already down bad for rukia. i still believe to this day that ichigo doesn't look at orihime the same way he looks at rukia. actually he SETTLED for orihime since rukia was already locked down with renji ‼️i will die on this heal. and also the ichihime shippers are scraping for their ship moments while we, ichiruki stans, are eating so well with unlimited supply of ichiruki moments lmao

I would've been fine with the ending simply having Ichigo & Rukia standing next to each other happily (maybe a little too close?) as they look over Soul Society. Leaving the possibilities there. Narratively, such an ending would've made sense. I don't think even non-shippers would have batted an eye. No typical "timeskip married with kids" ending. It didn't make sense for it to end that way.

Even if I was a non-shipper, Ichigo ending up with Orihime goes against the narrative & is one of the major issues with the ending, since there was never an inkling of chemistry between them. No special moments. No interest nor special thought from Ichigo towards her. I literally never thought IH would have a chance; it seemed that unlikely 💀. I never doubted an IchiRuki victory (even if they wouldn't outright get together, like I said, at least that it'd be implied that they will in the future). Most of the shipping fandom thought the same or similarly, I believe... Most ppl shipped or could see IR happening... Kub0 had developed it enough to have most of us thinking this way...

IR had the potential to be the best-written M/F canon ship in a battle shounen & yet... 😮‍💨

I don't believe for a second that Kub0 had "always" intended for IH/RR endgames. To this day, he hasn't said anything meaningful about either pairing. He did absolutely nothing to imply them throughout the story. He put no effort into them. At every opportunity, he would always make it about IchiRuki...

Dudebros & IH's fail to see that IH/RR as endgame makes no narrative sense. If I was an IH/RR shipper, I'd be upset with how Kub0 handled them. They have no development, no official content, no merch, no proper validation from Kub0... He still can't even bring himself to give them a family color spread 🫢. Saddest endgame ships in a battle shounen...

About Ichigo finally saying Ori's name in the last chapter, there's a funny post on that here. 🤭

And yeah, Ichigo definitely settled for her, cuz the fact he waited until Rukia was unavailable will always be laughable... He tried dating Ori once then broke up for a while then tried again... wow, he was really "in love" with her from the start, huh? He was just putting off the inevitable cuz he had to seek unhappiness in order to stop Ywach from returning at his happiest moment... 🤷‍♀️