#no I'm not extremely low on sleep why do you ask

[calliopechild]

Callous post for At Home for the not just weird but "genuinely making me a little nauseous the longer I think about it" decision to stock these napkins.

"But calliope," you might ask, "those are super cute, what's the problem?"

They are super cute! So cute I nearly walked off with them without checking the care tag before the "hm, but what if they're dry clean, ugh" light bulb went off. Don't worry, though! They're aren't dry clean only.

They're spot clean only.

At Home. At Home, look at me in my orbs and tell me what kind of ghoulish mood you were in when you knowingly approved napkins that you cannot wash. When you decided "no, actually, these mouth rags don't need to be de-mouth-germed in between uses."

My left kidney is inverting as we speak at the thought of rocking up to someone's dinner party, opening one of these to set on my lap, and then catching a glimpse of that care tag. It's the social politeness version of a Saw trap. I see the tag and look up at the host in horror. They know what I've seen. They smile as our eyes meet. What do I do? Will I call them out in front of the other dinner guests? Risk insulting them by implying they provided us all with intermittently cleaned napkins? Make myself look like a mannerless heathen by wiping my mouth on the back of my hand? Dinner is spaghetti marinara with extremely buttery garlic bread. This is on purpose.

Which spots on this napkin have been cleaned??

[tbaluver]

Hiii! Can you make general Sylus HCs?? Fluff ones though! YOURE LIKE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR OMG LIKEEEE THE FLUFF MAKES MY HEART SIMPLY M E L T !

Sylus Headcanons- Love And DeepSpace

a/n: omg anon you're so sweet thank you so much ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ i hope you'll like this and i hope this is okay!! <3

any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy! <3

genre: fluff fluff

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

General Headcanons ˎˊ˗

This man is big everywhere. If you have or seen the memory of Within Reach you know what I'm talking about. Since he has quite a large build in height and muscle, he probably has trouble finding clothing in his size in store. Sleeves would be too short or pants would be too tight so often he would have to get them tailored but it's fine because he has all the money in the world.

This man is 6'2. Since he's tall, mirrors can cut off your head or usually shower heads are mounted too low so he would have to crouch down often. But later on he took down any small mirrors and adjusted the shower to his height for his liking.

Would try to eat a healthy balance meal 3 times a day unless work got in the way. He also probably has the best skincare routine ever. He would have cleanser, toner, serum, moisturizer, and different types of sunscreens for morning or even at night.

In Tender Curve, he mentions he's there to feed a cat. Whenever he has the time he'll leave cat food outside for any strays. He has no time to take care of any pets and also Mephisto would squawk at him nonstop with jealously.

He probably thought he would never sing in his life until Luke and Kieran 'pestered' him to try it out in the karaoke room. He thought why not he had nothing else to do. He would lose track of time due to Luke and Kieran cheering him on. So if being the Onychinus's Leader never works out he figures he can be an idol in the future.

The type to accept any business as long as it's near your location whether it work or you have things to do in that area. How would he know your location? You would have your location posted on your moments and sometimes Luke and Kieran talk about you a lot. He would use any business matter to talk to you and ask if you can help him with any errands.

Relationship Headcanons ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Sometimes he'll let Mephisto spy on you and update him on what you like to eat so he can learn how to cook it for you when he doesn't have the personal chef around. He likes trying new recipes and you are always there to try them or help him make it. Would love it when you would hug him behind while he's in the kitchen cooking or the other way around.

Not super big on PDA especially in the N109 zone but will do gestures like his hand on your lower back or his arm around your waist. But in private he would be a lot more affectionate. In the car, he loves having one of his hands intertwined with yours as it rests on your lap while his other hand is on the wheel. Lots of forehead kisses. Sometimes would tease you because of your height difference and make you try to reach him to kiss him on his lips. Eventually he'll crouch down to kiss you after watching you struggle.

If anything were to upset you, he'll always be there to listen and to comfort you. He'll hold your hand or wrap and arm around your waist, rubbing soothing small circles reassuring you on whatever the issue is or helping you find a solution to whatever the problem is. If it was anyone that bothered you, they might want to sleep with one eye open.

He's also kinda silly. When you walk in his bathroom while he's shaving, he'll put some of the cream on your nose because he thinks your reaction would be funny.

Would always have an outfit to have for you to match with him in a business meeting. But if you wanted a different outfit he would find something to match with you that way everyone knows that you two are together.

He's extremely thoughtful. He remembers even the smallest details you have mentioned to him. He'll always find the perfect gift to give you on anniversaries or birthdays.

What's his becomes yours. You want his clothes even though they might be too big for you? Take the whole closet. He'll find his clothing in your fitting quite adorable actually. He'll even give you keys to his armory, he has many so choose whatever you want. He even let's you have Luke and Kieran as your henchmen too as long as he gets to have them back for work.

[donutz]

Not much but a romantic Sebastian and a burnt out gn reader who enters his shop to get some well deserved rest?

Burnt out! reader with Sebastian

A little rest won't hurt...

— I verbally went "ooo" at this request, also apologies for taking so long(This applies to future requests)

Warnings: Possibly touch starved Reader and Sebastian; Reader acts alcohol drunk(Sorry I don't mean to bring up trauma😓) but is actually sleep drunk; Accidently flirty Reader; Very vivid descriptions, I just think it makes it kinda 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 so that's why I'm warning you; 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 mentions but nothing 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 happens; Flustered Sebastian ooo

Door, after door, after door, after door, you’re tired of this unending loop. The only good thing about this is that incredible shop and its owner.

God, what was his name again?

Sabers?

No that’s not it.

Uhhh.

Dang.

You can’t even think right! When’s the last time you forgot a name?

… You can’t remember that either, okay.

You’re limping through the halls, senses on point, well minus your sight. Your tired eyelids keep on dropping down or hanging.

You want to take a rest soooo baddd.

But you can’t. Not with Urbanshade watching you.

Not with Pinkie or Pandemonium.

Hate it.

Hate this place.

YOU hate this place.

Well accept for Sebastian since this place is the only reason he’s down here.

Just make it to Sebastian and you’ll be fine. Shove through the doors that won’t open or groan whenever you need a keycard.

Fight through the pain!

Well that’s pretty hard mentally.

And your mental state isn’t doing very well.

Ughhhh JUST GO THROUGH THE DOORS.

Sorry I didn’t mean to yell.

I’m just second personing your thoughts.

Actually my thoughts on what your thoughts are. Because I don’t actually know your thoughts. So yeah.

Oh god finally, door 48. You speed walk over to the next door, apparently not noticing Chainsmoker behind you.

.

.

.

“Woowww, you reallyyy saw that one. Y’know I–” He stops talking when he looks at your state. 

You’re looking down with your spine stretching till it pops out of your body. Your extremely tired eyes are barely even focusing, just waiting for that document to pop up.

Your body creates low and shallow breaths.

You look like you’re going to pass out.

“Oh uhhm… You alright?” Sebastian asks, with concern rolling around on his face.

Upon hearing his voice, you look up with excitement and expectation. Only being able to see two of his pastel blue eyes.

You try to speak but can’t, you’re dead remember?

Sebastian sees your attempt and sighs.

“Look, I know it’s hard out there but–” He pulls out his claw in front of you.

Seeing that as a, “Take my hand friend” Gesture, you take it. You seem touch starved with the way you quickly grasped onto his claw.

Using your two hands to grab his claw, breathing hard.

You wish you could feel his fingers.

In your hand of course.

Freakanator 3000.

But after a few seconds of silence and hand holding, you’re suddenly brought down to go see the document.

You didn’t even do that!

Did Sebastian do that?!

Could that have happened this whole time?

Then why did it happen now?!

Groaning in your head, you were motivated to see Sebastian and just maybe rest.

You were contemplating on whether you should keep going so you can find that dumb crystal and get out of here or for Sebastian. Meanwhile, he sat, surprised at the touch.

Maybe wanting some more?

From you specifically?

Just maybe?

You rushed through doors after ‘respawning’, even skipping some doors after hearing the entities behind you.

You perfectly nailed down the ways to survive the monsters, getting more and more excited as you get closer to Sebastian’s shop.

The adrenaline rushed through your body as you nearly broke down a few doors.

I thought those were bulletproof?

Slowing down your running, you nearly tripped upon seeing the room that Sebastian would be located in. Letting out big breaths that were loud enough to hear through your head gear.

Sometimes you let out a few guhs and coughs.

It was that bad.

You could drink your own sweat and that’ll help.

Your hands were on your knees, your legs shaking and sweat drops dripping onto your visor while you were looking down.

“Oh man, I can hear you from here. Take a break, yeah?” Sebastian commented, trying to not give you clues that he’s worried about you.

Saliva recollects in your mouth as you look back up at the vent. Your legs carry you over even if it hurts.

Getting out of the vent, you saw Sebastian and tried to smile.

“Ooo… You alright?” His question seemed genuinely curious.

You nod, crawling over to a spot and shutting your eyes.

Sebastian stays silent as he thinks that you fell asleep.

Your body collects its strength, your organs pumping correctly, the only thing that your brain needs now is sleep.

Yeah, the ONE thing that’s hard to get. Currently.

Your swaying right foot indicates that you’re awake, so Sebastian questions you on it.

“Oh you’re awake? I thought you passed out-”

“Offf course I’m awakee..!! How could I– Fall asleepp with a gooddd looking fella like youuu”??

Now that got him to pay full attention to you(Not like he wasn’t before).

“Are.. Are you drunk”?

‘Didn’t know prisoners could drink down here.’ He thought.

“Drunk on your lookss? Yeahhh. Youu look.. Soooooo HOT”!

Sebastian looks away to his left, mouth scrunched making it look like he’s disgusted. But he’s not! Because in this fanfic he actually likes you back.

He’d be flushing with red if he was warm blooded. 

You could tell with the way his fingers are fidgeting with each other. He attempts to pin back his side bang only for it to fall again.

He lets out a groan.

Changing your resting position, you stand up, walking over to Sebastian.

“I could pin your hair back for you. Hic up, baby. Ooo I’m so sleepy I’m hiccuping”.

“HAUH”?!?

“Oh sorry did I make you uncomfortable? I didn’t mean to I’m- hic up sorry”.

“It’s uhm. No. You didn’t make me uncomfortable, it's just that you’re so”..

“Bold? Yeah. I get like this when I’m sleep drunk”.

Oh so you’re aware you act like this?

“Y- Yea.. Bold”.

You stumble over to Sebastian, eyeing his tail. Looking back up at him, you point at his scales.

“Can I touch”?

“Yeah sure”.

Dropping down onto your knees you feel along his hard yet smooth scutes.

“I wish I could.. Actually feel your uhh, scales”.

“Hm”.

“But I can’t :(”

“Awh what a bummer.” He playfully teases.

After feeling up his tail some more, you ask him—

“What does it feel like”?

“My tail”?

“Yeah dum dum.” You chuckle at the slightly insulting nickname.

“Oh well now I won’t tell you because of your insult”.

“Nooooo, breathy chuckle, I was chokinggg… Wait no.. I was jokinggg”.

Sebastian stifles a laugh with his hand, his torso lightly shaking.

“Alright alright. My tail is pretty cold, it’s like smooth in a more slimy way. Yet there’s no slime. It’s kinda weird but I’m used to it”.

“Ooo, slimy tail. So if I take my hands off your tail I’ll get slime on my glove”?

“No, I just said that it’s smooth in a slimy sense yet there’s no slime”.

“... Sebastian, that makes no sense.” You said sternly.

“... Shut up”.

Eventually, you end up falling asleep on his tail. Drooling in your head gear, making a pool of it at the bottom.

Seeing you unconscious yet alive brings comfort to Sebastian. You’re still here, just not awake. Alive.

He’s never really thought about wanting a human alive before.

I don't mean to make Sebastian seem like this shy 'baby', I just think he'd get all blushy and nervous at bold romantic actions.

[skyfallscotland]

Ok so Rebecca did a one hour panel today in Sydney with Lynette Noni hosting, where she asked questions and then they opened it to fans. I've kind of summarised the things I haven't seen mentioned over and over, but I don't frequent the subreddit anymore or use TikTok, so there might be overlap. In any case, it's long. Settle in. I've sectioned it into plot/character relevant first, then themes and interesting facts about her and her writing. Basically, you all came with me. 💗

• In book three (and every book thereafter) we'll be going to more and more new places. She specifically worded it as "watching the map expand" whether that's significant or not, I don't know. (I was thinking Isle Kingdoms for OS, but maybe that's just my wishful thinking).

• She implied Jack will have a reason (explained) for uh...being a power-hungry prick? lol

• She's hella defensive of Dain, which I love. #DainApologistsClub 😌 Some highlights include:

"You guys give Dain so much shit for the same thing Xaden does. You really do and you're so fast to forgive Xaden and not Dain. Why? Is it because he's hot?"

And, "when push comes to shove, all Dain did—yes he violated her boundaries, as does Xaden—but all he did was trust his dad when his best friend no longer spoke to him. That's it."

"When Dain looks at her (in the interrogation chamber) and says 'if you had just told me, none of this would have happened', he's not just talking about the interrogation, he's talking about Liam, he's talking about if she had just trusted him (in Fourth Wing) it never would have happened." 😢

• She was asked about Liam's appearance in the interrogation chamber and definitively put to rest any signet theories involving that. "She's so alone in that moment and...I don't read fan theories but sometimes they reach my ears; she's completely disconnected from her magic in that moment, she can't even reach out for Tairn or Andarna, which are the bonds that are actually most important to her. She can't reach out for Xaden. And that's the one person who would have prevented that from happening the last year, so it's natural that's who her mind would summon."

• She's thought about a spin-off series, but she's just trying to survive this series.

• Someone asked her if there'd be any redemption and romance for Jack Barlowe and honestly, thanks guys, I don't think she's ever coming back to this country 💀 ("Are you getting enough sleep? Uh...I mean, from his prison cell maybe? No.")

• Someone asked "what is Garrick's signet and why hasn't it been shown yet?" (shoutout to this girl, she's the real MVP) to which Rebecca said "it's very much in book three, I love it."

• Someone asked about the orange dragons and unpredictability re: Amber, Jack, Varrish and then Imogen and Brennan. Rebecca said some dragons might look for traits like their own and some look for balance because it's a partnership; and that Brennan as a strategist needed that little bit of unpredictability in his life (lol, I think he got it).

• She didn't always plan for Violet to have two dragons. Originally it was going to be one (Tairn) and the editor had hoped that she would sway towards a weaker, smaller dragon and she thought that was a little too close to Abraxos in ToG, and so they compromised and gave her both. She also went on to say she doesn't like overpowered heroines and since Tairn is extremely powerful, Andarna balanced that out. (I'm not...I'm not sure how that works out? But that's what was said.)

• We are definitely going to find out more about the original six (and Lynette asked if that was a spin-off possibility and was shushed, so she's thought about it at least, but I get the idea she's thought about a lot of possibilities 😂)

• There's no timeframe for the release of the final two books.

• Someone asked if Violet's dad was Malek to which she was kind of shocked. He's not a god, guys. And low-key I JUST WANT TO KNOW HIS NAME. 😤

• On Sgaeyl: "You do (get more of her) but holy crap is she pissed. So—I'll tell you that about Onyx Storm—she is really, really mad at Xaden and she's not exactly speaking to him at the moment. So it's hard for her to speak into that bond when she's not speaking to him." 💔

• She was asked about the Violet dated Halden theory (which was fucking hilarious because the poor girl misspoke and asked if Xaden dated the prince and we were all really confused about which TikToks the poor thing had seen (note to self: consider cam/xaden), anyway after we got to the bottom of that, Rebecca replied, "I think you should read the third book." Which I'm taking to mean, the man is making a damn appearance and we're gonna find out for ourselves 👀 Hey, if I'm lucky maybe we'll even find out his surname

• Finally she said she has EP on the Amazon series, they've all been exceptionally protective of it and that she's happy with how it's going (they're not near casting yet and she doesn't want to really comment on that ever, to leave each role open to as diverse a cast as possible). She said the production team has come to the signings in LA to meet readers and see what they love and are passionate about when it comes to the series to make sure that's honoured.

"Like I mean, I've seen certain...like what can I say without getting tackled to the ground? Let's just say they've already taken steps to make sure that what you guys love about the story is envisioned and that it's not run amok. And I'm very happy with it, they're super protective of it." Which could just be me reading into it, but the first place my brain went was the dragons 👀🐉 and the CGI or whatever.

• She was asked about where the inspiration for the universe came from and she said that when her Entangled decided they were going to do romantasy they asked her for five pitches and Fourth Wing was one of them (she won't say what the others were because she might still write them someday). She said she likes the fated mates trope but she wondered what that would look like if the dragons were the ones mated, not the humans and the humans who couldn't stand each other were forced to be around each other because of this. 

• Her first ever book was romantasy but it didn't sell

• She's never really written enemies to lovers before.

• She likes found family themes because she was raised in a military family and moved around a lot, so that makes it hard to keep in touch with your extended family, and after she married her husband and became a military wife, it was their found family that was there for her—it was her found family who helped her move her house, who sat with her when her husband was injured in Iraq, etc, so she thinks it's very important to show that your family is also the people you choose and that can be just as strong as any blood tie.

• She was asked (by Lynette) why she wanted to show death and the reality of war and she said, "I've been surrounded by it. My husband's been at war since 2003, he spent 22 years in the army, first as a 19 Delta cavalry scout and then ten years as an apache pilot and we buried our friends. And I saw what it did to him, and I saw what it did to our friends, I saw what it did to our children, to us, and I love being able to examine it from a fantasy perspective just because I think fantasy gives us a unique environment from which to critique our own world by viewing it through the lens of another. And I've always delved into those themes as to why we do this to each other and where is there hope to stop it?"

• As an author her favourite scenes in Fourth Wing were the dagger stealing scene (very important to their chemistry and romantic development—"she's the only person he's taught ever, how to actually kill him") and the first kiss scene.

In Iron Flame it was the interrogation scene and how that ends with Dain and Xaden and everything coming together.

When asked about a similar scene from Onyx Storm that elicited the same strong emotion from her she said "you're not gonna like it" and that's it 💀

• She would consider writing fantasy again after she's done with the Empyrean world, maybe one of her other pitches, but she won't truly think about it until she's survived this one.

• She spoke about the "kill your darlings" writing advice and how if you love a scene but it doesn't move the plot, you've gotta cut it, and how she did that with the final scene in Fourth Wing, which was originally 7k words of Violet POV pulling information out of Xaden.

• When asked about fan theories she actually said something I found a little sad. "I don't listen to fan theories. One, I'm not on TikTok—it's a little bit more important for me to be alive than to listen to what other people think they know about me, and two, I don't ever want fan theories to bleed into my writing."

〰️ And that's it! If anyone's going tomorrow, please voice record the whole thing and report back lmao 🙏 🫶🏼

ETA: part two is here, x

[abiatackerman]

Frosty night, Warm embraces

You look at the receptionist with disbelief as she says they have only one free room left in their cottage.

And that contains one bed.

Due to the heavy snowfall, the roads are blocked and a lot of people got stuck midway. Even though Erwin booked two rooms for Levi and you but due to high pressure of the helpless people who got stuck because of the Snowfall, the manager gave one of the rooms to another couple.

"Do something!"

You say to Levi who's standing beside you as always with a blank expression on his face. He has been silent most of the conversation with the receptionist, his expression stoic and uninterested. He glances at you with a slight frown, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And what exactly do you expect me to do?"

He asks, keeping his voice neutral, as if the idea of sharing a room wasn't affecting him at all. You glare at him.

"Who told you to come with me? I was fine on my own. If you wouldn't have come... This problem wouldn't have occurred in the first place. Also that Erwin... 'Let Levi accompany you.' my ass."

You say in an angry tone as you look at the receptionist who's looking at you with horror.

Of course because you're cursing at the commander of the survey corps and yelling at humanity's strongest soldier.

"I came with you to make sure you stay out of trouble. And here you are, causing a scene, like always."

He warns, his voice is low and stern. His expression is slightly amused, but he won't admit it.

"Give me the key."

You say to the receptionist, ignoring Levi.

"I'm so tired. I'll just shower and sleep. At least you guys have warm water in your bathrooms, right?"

The receptionist flinches at your outburst but quickly composes herself.

"Yes, ma'am. We do have warm water."

She says, offering you a sympathetic smile before handing you the key. Taking the key you walk towards the room and as you two are out of the sight of the receptionist, you smack Levi's arm.

"What's your problem? Why did you call me doll in front of that damn receptionist?"

"Because you're a doll. Small, cute, and fragile."

He says nonchalantly, unaffected by the smack of your arm. Though there is an underlying hint of possessiveness in his tone. You take a deep breath to calm yourself.

First of all you had to serve a lot of people today who were hurt due to the fall of the wall of the Trost district. Second, the extreme snowfalls. Third, getting stuck with this arrogant asshole named Levi... You're totally losing your temper.

Though no one can deny the fact that your relationship is different. Like Levi would tease you, insult you but he would even let you hit him too (which no one can imagine) and will call you doll in front of anyone he wants.

Everyone ships you two, but you or Levi never react to those things. Though you both know Levi's whipped over you.

Levi observes your frustration and takes note of your attempts to steady your breathing. His expression is blank but his voice softens.

"You always get so dramatic when you're tired."

You open the door as you throw your bag in the bed and start to pull out your night gown and ignore Levi's statement.

"You're sleeping on the floor."

Levi raises an eyebrow at your declaration, crossing his arms over his chest.

"We're sharing the bed, doll."

Levi says, his tone leaving no room for argument. He's not missing the chance of sleeping in the same bed, together with you.

"I'm going to take a shower."

You say ignoring him, as you get into the bathroom and Levi "Tch"s at your obvious attempt to escape the ongoing debate.

"Don't take too long. I'll shower too."

He says, his voice carrying through the closed bathroom door.

You come out of the shower after a while with damped hair and in a night gown, shivering. You immediately jump into the bed without looking at Levi and cuddle with the blanket, trying to make yourself warm. Your toes and fingers are cold as ice.

"You look like a damn frozen stick."

Levi's voice is laced with a hint of playful sarcasm. He shifts closer to you on the bed, his body gently pressing against yours as he notices how cold you are.

"Go take a shower. You stink."

You lie, kicking his leg as he hugs you and Levi dodges your kick with ease.

"You're the one who smells like a damn flower shop."

He retorts and stands up, giving you a quick glance before disappearing into the bathroom.

Levi takes a quick shower, the warm water cascades over his tense muscles, easing away the stress of the day. He thinks about you, lying in the bed just outside the bathroom door, wrapped in a blanket and shivering. He quickly dries off and wraps a towel around his waist, walking out of the bathroom. The towel around his waist making him look even more tempting. He looks at you, wrapped in the blankets, still shivering.

Levi walks over to the bed, after wearing a trouser and sits on the bed. He reaches out and gently touches your arm. Your skin is soft and cold.

"You're shivering, doll."

Levi says softly.

"It's just.... Too cold here."

You mumble, shaking. Seeing the shivers racking through your body and your teeth chattering softly he scoots closer to you.

"It's alright, doll."

He whispers, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer to him. He nuzzles his face into your hair, breathing in the fresh, floral scent that clinging to you. You gasp but don't protest when he hugs you. He pulls the blanket over you two and you sigh in comfort of his warmth.

"You're safe now. I've got you."

Levi says softly as you press your face against his neck and sigh feeling his manly, strong smell.

"Why your chest... I mean your body is so warm? Is it because you have much more blood than me or because you eat more than me?"

Levi chuckles softly at your question, his hand rubbing gentle circles on your back as he holds you close to his chest.

"It's probably a combination of both. Also, I work out more than you do."

He says, his voice rumbling deep in his chest. He can feel the coldness of your skin slowly fading away as his body heat transfers to you.

"Yeah, right."

You say as you hug him.

"But isn't my cold body making you feel uncomfortable?"

Levi's eyes gleam with amusement as you hugged him tighter. He finds it strangely endearing.

"I'm used to your cold body. I've come to expect it."

He jokes, his hand continuing to rub soothing circles on your back.

"You know? You talk a lot when you're with me. Unnecessarily. Also I lied when I said you stink."

You say as you close your eyes and Levi chuckles. He knows that he usually keeps his words to a minimum and speaks only when necessary. But somehow, being around you makes him loosen up a little bit more.

"So, you like how I smell?"

He teases, his voice dripping with cocky confidence making you laugh.

"Shut up."

You mumble as you hug him tighter.

"Well... It's refreshing to see you acting differently around me. More friendly and more comfortable. I'm proud I can make you feel like that."

Levi smiles, his body relaxing as you hug him tighter. He can't deny that he's enjoying this... The two of you cuddled together under the blankets, engaged in a conversation.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get used to it. I still have a reputation to uphold, doll."

He knows he is different when he is around you. But still... He's the captain of the survey corps.

"Thank you."

Levi looks at you as you mumble, admiring the way your face looks so close to his. You both are laying on the same pillow, your head just beside his. He can feel your breath on his skin.

"What are you thanking me for, doll?"

He whispers, his eyes meeting your gaze. The intimate position of your faces so close together makes his heart skip a beat.

"For warming me up. Idiot."

You chuckle and Levi fakes a scoff. Though his heart is warmed by your simple gratitude.

"Yeah, yeah. That's why I'm here for, doll. To be your personal heater whenever it's cold."

He retorts making you laugh, his hand still rubbing gentle circles on your back under the blankets.

"You know? No matter how annoying you are...."

You say as your eyes soften.

"I don't mind being stuck with you."

Levi lifts his hand and gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch soft and tender.

"Annoying, huh? Is that the only way you can describe me?"

He teases, though he secretly relishes the fact that you don't mind being stuck with him despite his abrasive exterior. You smile and press a soft kiss on his forehead.

"That's a secret, for now go to sleep. Good night."

Levi's eyes widened slightly when he feels your soft kiss on his forehead. The unexpected gesture of tenderness  catches him off guard and his heart skips a beat.

He wraps his arm around your waist as you roll over, showing him your back. He can feel your back pressed against his chest, and it feels shockingly intimate.

"Good night, doll."

He whispers before closing his eyes, feeling sleep tugging him too.

[furiousgoldfish]

I have an update about this situation, which if you didn't read it, was about me finding out that my parents are searching for me, going door to door and asking people on the street if they know me, even asking with my fake name. They found someone who did know me, and they chatted, and this person later called me and told me what had happened, to which I freaked out, asked them not to share any details about me, and explained that I had ran away due to violence and that I'm terrified of these people.

Now knowing that my parents are out there looking for me, I spent the next few weeks locked in, afraid to go out, only going to work and back, and sometimes disguised so I wouldn't be recognized. I didn't run into anyone on the street, nobody came to my door, I didn't get any other phone calls, so I eventually relaxed and decided that it was okay to be outside, even if they are looking, unless they find me directly where I live, I could easily escape on bike, and they wouldn't know where I went.

The other day I got the phone call from the person who talked to my parents, and they asked me to come over, to be gifted some extra clothing. I was scared, worried that it was a trap, that my parents somehow got this person to cooperate and to bring me to them, but I decided to be brave and go anyway, since the chance of this was very low, and on the phone they reassured me that I could forget that last situation. Still, when I got there I startedly looked around to see if anyone was in there, but it was all empty.

I got some extra details of what happened; it was my mother and a friend looking for me, my father was not present. This person admitted to actually knowing me, and where I live, so my parents know someone who is in contact with me right now. However the person didn't share my address with them, which is why I was still safe.

Then the person revealed they actually got a call from my mother later that day, and they had an argument over the phone. The person repeated what I had told them – that I ran because of violence, because I was forced to work to deserve to eat and sleep there, because of death threats, torture, neglect, and my mother responded angrily 'You don't know what kind of trouble they were causing me!'. Then my mother still tried to convince this person that she cares about me and is worried about me, but the person rebutted with 'you should have cared when they were younger', and when my mother wouldn't stop asking for information, the person said that if she calls again, the police will be called and hung up.

Now this was very interesting to me, firstly my mother getting a police threat upon trying to find me, that is extremely good, satisfying, reassuring, positive, made me so happy. I was in a good mood for the rest of the day just thinking about what kind of reality-check that must have been, to have other people threaten with police and stand in their way of getting to me. I feel it was the first time someone actively protected me and it feels like I've been waiting my whole life for that to happen, and I never thought it would.

Second thing is her 'you don't know what kind of trouble they were causing', because she wasn't even denying the accusations of violence and torture! She blatantly did admit that yes, I had to work to deserve to live as a child, I was beaten, neglected, I was threatened death, I was kept in sub-human conditions, but she just felt it was justified! Because I was 'causing trouble', which is a lie, I did everything she asked me when I was a kid. It's like she still thinks me standing up to her violent abusive husband was 'me causing trouble' excuse me why did you marry that thing, and then never stood up to it? I had more backbone as a child than she has as an adult and this was 'me causing trouble'. I stood up to him because it was the right thing to do, because he was attacking me and my siblings, what do you mean I was causing trouble defending rest of the family from violence and absorbing it so the rest of you wouldn't have to. Ungrateful lying coward.

And also her saying I was the awful troublemaker doesn't check out with the rest of her story; if I was such a menace why is she out there looking for me? Why is she not blessed that I am gone and she can finally enjoy your life? Would you actively seek out someone you have to control with death threats from how much trouble they're causing to you? The lie is falling apart.

This has me very calmed down and grateful that not all people are cowards and unwilling to stand up to abusers. I've never seen this before, in my experience, people were always ready to bow down to my parents and see me as an ungrateful horrid creature who needs to be put into their place. This person has known me enough to see that I'm honest, fair, hardworking, kind, accommodating, they even told me that they can see there's nothing twisted about me. They understood that my situation is one of a struggle and that I have to work hard to survive, and often expressed that I struggle too much compared to others. And this isn't someone I'm on constant contact with, we talk once a year. I was surprised they picked up on this much.

I'm feeling better about the situation now I understand I was defended, I'm not that afraid anymore. I did get upset that my mother is trying to convince people that I was just so bad I deserved all, but at least not everyone believes it. I mean, it's ridiculous for anyone to believe a child could possibly deserve this, but I know a lot of people who do believe that. I thought everyone would side with my parents forever. Feeling better knowing there's one person who sided with me, when it was crucial for my safety.

[luveline]

I'm having extremely horrid self-image these days so I was just wondering if you could write Aaron comforting reader about it?

You used to do your makeup on the bedroom floor in Aaron's floor length mirror. He found it endearing apparently, he'd always laugh quietly and step around you, promising that one day he was going to get you a vanity. 

And then he tells you he loves you and asks you to move in, and then there's a vanity waiting for you when you do. Aaron stops laughing in the morning and starts leaning down to kiss your cheek. "That's better, hm?"

It feels like playing dress up. You appreciate him, you love him, but you sit there with your makeup bag and your hair oils and feel awful. Deep down, pervasively, achingly awful. You're not the type of girl who gets the nice house and a nice boyfriend, who sits at her vanity primping and preening. No matter what you do, you'll always look like this.

"What are you doing?" he asks quietly. 

He's laying in bed behind you, sleep heavy on his tongue. You wipe a cotton pad wet with toner over your cheeks, avoiding his gaze in the mirror as you answer, "Just getting ready." 

"For what?" 

"Just the day." 

"You don't sound very happy, honey." He sits up, the front most strands of his hair falling onto his forehead, due for a trim. When he says 'honey', his brows lift from their furrow imploringly. It's madness that he can wake and throw himself straight into profiling mode. "What's wrong?" 

"It's nothing." 

"I don't think so. Come back to bed." We'll talk about it goes unsaid. Aaron's voice can colour a thousand shades but your favourite is this gentle lulling, his hand stretched out over the sheets to beckon you in. 

You put your used cotton pads aside and stand with a weird feeling in your throat like you swallowed something without chewing properly. Aaron watches you. He's good at pretending he isn't, but you know he is, his dark eyes tracing the shine of toner on your tacky cheek. 

"You smell nice," he says, kissing under your jaw, forcing your face up. "And you're so soft."

"Trying to butter me up before you ask me what's wrong." 

"But I'm not lying… What is wrong?" 

You meet his eyes, asking for permission of a sort that you don't need to ask for. He lifts his head in answer and opens his arms, pulling your face into the crook of his neck and your chest against his, murmuring, "Honey, honey," over your head. "What's wrong?" 

It comes as little surprise to him when you explain, your voice hushed with shame. I just feel so… disgusting. You don't say it with distinction but he gathers it anyhow, your lack of self esteem, not in the sense of putting yourself forward, but in that you don't like the way you look, the way people see you. 

"I can't control the way you see me, so you see me at my worst." 

"You don't have a worst." He lays back against the headboard and drags you down with him. "You're always beautiful."

You shake your head. 

You and Aaron linger in silence for a while, the only sound his fingers tightening against the fabric of your t-shirt on your waist. "Do you know why I wanted you to have your vanity?" 

"Well, you kept tripping over me in the mornings." 

"I did… I'd be watching you get ready and I'd find myself distracted," he says, low and quiet, as though confessing. "So yes, I'd trip over you. I wouldn't watch where I was going but I'd want go be closer, and I'd accidentally hit your arm and you'd look up. First in the mirror, and then over your shoulder. My heart–" He clears his throat. "Your vanity was an act of self preservation." 

"Because you're so old?"

"Careful," he says lightly, giving your waist a squeeze. "Because now I get to watch you from right here." He looks down at the vanity and you follow his gaze, seeing more of him than you, wrapped up in his arms. You look peaceful together. "Every morning." 

You close your eyes, rubbing your cheek into his shoulder. "And that's fun for you." 

"It's the best part of my day." 

[luvvixu]

bad day = bad emotional stability

content: fluff, bf!gojo, +16, he's a bit vulnerable here—in short, kinda like crybaby but who caresss he's literally so bbg, kinda spicy so watch out

"y/n? why aren't you sleeping yet?" a groggy voice interrupts you as your fingers stop typing. you see your boyfriend sitting on your shared bed, rubbing his tired and sleepy eyes.

"i still need to finish my lecture." you answered.

"but you just said that thirty minutes ago," he said with an almost annoyed voice.

"i know, baby. but i promise i'm almost finished, i only need to write three to four paragraphs."

satoru pouted at you. he was getting really needy when he just woke up. when i tell you needy, it's literally and extremely needy!

you saw his face and it made you chuckles. he looks so adorable! with his cheeks puffing, along with his bed hair everywhere. god, you just have been blessed with a clingy boyfriend.

"don't give me that look." you playfully said.

instead of answering, he just turns his back to you and covers himself with a blanket. that's a sign that he's going to give you a cold shoulder. he's gonna ignore you, unless you give him all of your attention. you sigh quietly to yourself before crawling towards him.

satoru felt his side become damp, a warning that his girlfriend was behind him. he could feel the blanket suddenly lifted up. the white haired man gulped — because knowing you — a y/n would always have a trick under her sleeves.

"toru, my baby~" you purred softly into his ear. an amusement grin appeared on your lips as you watched his ears go red.

a brilliant idea also pops into your head. you swipe the hair behind his neck and start to place some small pepper kisses within his sensitive area, his neck. you knew he really loved this kind of intimacy.

you could hear his soft gasp and hidden whimpers escaping from his mouth. smiling in success, you decided to add more tease by letting yourself dig your canines through his skin.

lick, kiss, bite

that same pattern keeps him from drowsiness away. it made his mind become so frazzled that he couldn't contain his overflowing desire anymore.

a full moan finally came out from your boyfriend's mouth. your eyes shot up from the sound that you didn't notice that he finally faced you with a crimson complexity.

"oh? hello, did you enjoy it?" you grin innocently — clearly enjoying his vulnerable state. but satoru paid no attention to your words, rather he just stared at you.

the grin suddenly came to halt as worry appeared to your expression while you furrowed your eyebrows. "hey, are you upset with me?" you asked him softly.

you're getting a prediction that he's upset with you because you promised him that the two of you will cuddle tonight. and yet, you failed to do so because of schoolworks.

"baby?" you called out to him.

the boy sighs quietly. and instead of answering, satoru just planted his face over your chest as he shook his head, indicating that he was not angry or upset with you. a breath of relief exits from your lips, planting a soft kiss on his head as an affection.

"toru, is there something bothering you? can you tell me what it is?" you cup his cheeks gently to make him look over you.

he sighed. "it was nothing."

you both knew it was a lie. the two of you have known each other for almost five years. so this kind of behavior was nothing unfamiliar to you.

satoru has a habit of keeping things all by himself. knowing that he had this kind of mentality that he's the strongest, he shouldn't look weak. that is why you've been very patient and understanding towards him even more. you would always wait for him to open up at you. hell, you often force him to speak.

so without a warning, you carefully lean into his face and place a soft kiss over his lips. since satoru has been so dewy-eyed, you decided to take the lead by inserting your tongue inside him.

a soft and low moan escapes from him as he finally becomes responsive over your kiss. you let yourself smile between the collisions. your boyfriend is a bit shy and soft when it comes to you, that's why you cannot surpass the urge of protecting him too at all cost.

"i love you, toru. you know i'll always be your solace amongst labyrinths."

his breath hitch. and finally, the emotion he's been building up has now collapsed like a house of cards. you watch him break down in front of you. satoru buried his head again deeper on your chest as he weeps.

while you — being a worried and loving girlfriend — you stroke his head while whispering a lot of comforting words to ease his hurt emotional state. your baby has been so strong, and now it is time for him to release all of his unsaid thoughts.

"i'm so fed up with the shitty higher ups." he trailed off. your eyes unknowingly brightens, he's finally opening up to you.

"hmm? did they do or say anything to you again?" you asked with an extra careful voice. because this topic can be sensitive for him, it involves all of his hatred and some of his trauma.

"you could say that… they kept on nagging me about my student's execution. it really irritates me." as he spoke, your hand was still on his head to give him a sense of comfort.

"everytime i would meet up with the higher ups, i felt so powerless to them even though i am labeled as the strongest. they kept on bringing him — bringing you.." he continued. you could feel his fist tight within your shirt he's clinging on.

him? he is talking about geto suguru, right?

"y/n, i hate them so much!" a single angry tear fell from his face, and then followed by another.

you constantly wipe the salty tears from his face. "shh~ i know, baby, i know. but you have to calm yourself first, or else you're gonna have a panic attack — that's even worse."

now your shirt is wet because of his tears, which you don't mind. you're more worried about his state of mind. his mind is hard to dive in. you never know what's going on his fragile mind.

"but you know what, y/n..."

"i am so grateful that i have you. now, i can cope up with everyday scenarios or i can conquer those worst moments because you, alone, gave me much more than that." his words melt your heart. it was not rare for satoru to say these kinds of words to you, but due to his past circumstances, satoru was having a hard time expressing himself at some point.

one, because he, himself, has never received such a genuine love one before and two, because of his playful demure. so it is something new to you. such simple words matter for both of you, for you two represent each other.

"y/n, i love you. i love you so much."

"i love you too, satoru. you are my everything ."

and thus, the two dreams got caught in one dreamcatcher. their loud heartbeats are so vivid that they labeled it as one, one heart for two individual lovers.

©luvvixu2023

[trblsvt]

3:00 am | yoon jeonghan

summary | sometimes he just didn't understand what he did wrong, and neither did you. genre | angst, hurt/comfort, fluff (?) warnings | swearing word count | 1.4k words pairing | yoon jeonghan x reader minli | lowercase intended requested by this lovely anon! i apologize if this didn't really follow the prompt :(

"well, if you don't want me here then i'll just go!" he yelled grabbing his coat and keys. you said nothing. "i'll be joshua's if you need anything," he said before leaving.

"i won't," you muttered as jeonghan left. "i don't need you for anything."

jeonghan made his way to joshua's door, head hung low. the fight was stupid, but it was obviously a sensitive subject that he already regretted bringing up. if he was honest, he forgot why he even brought it up at all. your friends were none of his business, he just saw some things that were concerning, so he brought it up. his mistake.

he trudged his way up the stairs of joshua's apartment and knocked on the door. the door unlocked and swung open. "jeonghan?" joshua asked, obviously exhausted. "what are you doing here? didn't ___ just get back home from that trip?" jeonghan didn't know how to respond. you were extremely close to joshua, and jeonghan worried that joshua might gut him if he found out about the fight despite being his best friend too. "we had a bit of a disagreement, an argument," jeonghan confessed. joshua stared at him and slowly opened the door enough to let jeonghan in. after joshua closed the door he said, "i knew you had a fight. i just got off the phone with ___. good choice being honest with me."

joshua brushed past jeonghan and into the kitchen. jeonghan followed quickly after. he could feel joshua's coldness spreading throughout the room. "do you want something to drink?" joshua offered, which was strange because he never did that. he always just let jeonghan get what he needed. jeonghan shook his head and went to sit down on the couch. he registered the sound of joshua sitting down next to him. "so why'd you do it?" joshua asked finally.

"do what?" jeonghan groaned.

"criticize ___'s friends."

"i wouldn't say i criticized them."

"you said they're awful people and that ___ shouldn't hang out with them." jeonghan couldn't refute that. it was true. your friends treated you horribly, and he felt like he was going crazy. "okay fine! yeah i said that! it's true though," he tried to defend himself.

"you do realize i'm ___'s best friend, right?" joshua deadpanned. jeonghan just stared at him baffled. he couldn't believe this was happening. first you, now joshua. the world was just out to get him. "i'm not talking about you, just please try to stay out of it," jeonghan buried his face in his hands.

"okay, i will. just don't ruin this really amazing thing you have because if you hurt ___-"

"you'll beat the shit out of me okay, yeah got it," jeonghan finished for him. "i'll be out here, just go back to sleep. thanks for letting me crash here."

"yeah, no problem," joshua mumbled, getting up and heading back to his room.

jeonghan had been awake for the last three hours. it was now officially 3:02 am. he hadn't been able to sleep at all. he knew what he said was out of line, but it didn't mean it wasn't true. your friends sometimes treated you like you didn't even exist. constantly not including you in outings, posting trips that they didn't invite you on, and jeonghan swears to you that he heard them talking poorly about you behind your back. how could you stay friends with people like that? he didn't understand.

but, he knew that wasn't the thing keeping him up. it's what you said after he brought it up.

"it's not like i can just drop them!" you yelled. he had rushed to your side holding you, "yes you can! they're horrible to you. why are hanging out with people who don't treat you nicely?" you flung your arms against him and pulled away. there were tears in your eyes, "they're the only people i have!"

the only people you had? what about him? he knew that he was around less because of his work, and it was a bit new to both of you because he usually wasn't as busy as he is now. but what you said before he left was stirring.

"i don't need you for anything."

he was sure it was just the anger that made you say it, but you said it when he was leaving. could there be some truth behind it? maybe he was overthinking it, but he needed to get this sorted out. it was his nature. he grabbed his phone off the coffee table and pulled up your contact. other than his family, you and joshua were the only ones in his favorites. he didn't know what he would do if he lost you.

his finger hovered over the call button. would you even pick up? what if after you talked you would want to break up with him. he bit the bullet and clicked it. it rang three times and finally, the other line picked up. "han?" you answered. you sounded like you hadn't slept at all. "___, did i wake you? i'm sorry. you can go back to sleep," he rushed, not wanting to worsen the situation.

"no, han, what's wrong? why'd you call?" you didn't sound upset. you sounded concerned. his mind was reeling. "no reason, it's stupid," he coughed. "i'll let you go."

"jeonghan, what's going on? where are you?" you repeated.

"i'm at joshua's. i just- god, this is so stupid. when you said that you don't have anyone, what did you mean by that?" he finally mustered up the courage to ask.

"what are- i don't know what you're talking about," you spluttered, and you were being completely honest. you knew that. jeonghan knew that. you never lied to each other, ever. "when we were arguing. you said you wouldn't drop your friends because they're the only people you have," jeonghan breathed. "i just wanted to know if that's how you actually felt." he heard a catch in your breath so he gave you time. "you have me, and i'm not saying i'm the only person you need because friends are great to have, but only if they treat you well. you said that you didn't need me for anything, but i need you. please tell me you didn't mean that. i'm sorry i'm gone a lot more now, i will do everything to make it up to you." you wanted to say something, but it died in your throat. he continued, "i need you so much, i can't do

you honestly didn't know what to say. you had been friends with your group for years, but suddenly things began to shift. you would have to be blind not to notice it. but, they were the ones who were there, through everything. you could overlook a couple times they forgot to invite you to things, right?

jeonghan obviously didn't think so. it all started when he came home from work, throwing his bag onto the ground and collapsing on the couch next to you. "didn't you have plans with your friends?" he had mumbled into his arm.

"yeah, they, uh, i got the times messed up. they left earlier than i thought," you had said. it was a red flag of course, and jeonghan knew it. "times messed up?" he scoffed. "this is like the fourth time this has happened. do you think they might be doing this on purpose?"

that's what did it. jeonghan had said what you were afraid of and you snapped at him. of course you didn't mean what you said to him. now he was calling second guessing everything. "hannie, of course i didn't mean that. i- i know i have you, it's just so weird for them to be treating me like this," you sighed. "you're everything to me too. i'm sorry i said those things to you, you have to know i didn't mean it. i never meant for you to second guess anything. i was just upset, and that doesn't excuse it-" you rambled on and on, and jeonghan couldn't stand it anymore. he did feel partly responsible for the state you were in. "it's okay, ___. it was a heat of the moment thing. i- i'm just being overdramatic. i know you didn't mean it. it's late and we're both tired. i think you should get some sleep. i'll see you, okay?" he cooed.

"han, can you come back? i don't think i can sleep on my own tonight," you mumbled.

"of course, my love," he said. "i'm sorry for everything, we can get it sorted in the morning, okay?"

"okay. hurry back."

"i will."

minli | not proofread yet! this was so fun to write. i'm so out of practice with writing angst, i'm sorry! and i'm not sure if i followed the request correctly either :( either way, anon, i hope you like this! leave a like or comment or reblog, anything is appreciated!

[hugshughes]

Liquid Courage J. McCarthy

JJ McCarthy x fem!reader

synopsis - JJ calls you in the middle of the night, inebriated and affectionate. His confessions leave your heart heavy as he sleeps off his drunken haze on your couch. It isn't until the next morning JJ realizes the extent of what he's admitted.

wc - 3.4k

contains - UNEDITED! super cute! alcohol consumption, underage alcohol consumption, JJ gets drunk, eating, hugging. ALL WHILE SOBER: kissing, touching, makin out kinda. reader is insecure about herself (even though she's so cute and pretty), drunk confession, reader gets sad, cursing, i think that's it! oh takes place like october of last year! Rushed ending sorry

an - based on THIS request! LOVEEEEEEDDDDD THIS REQUEST SO MUCH! this was so cute loved it!! #imnotdead :D

-

You hummed to yourself as you pranced around your kitchen, the banana bread you just put in the oven leaving the aroma of your apartment warm. Your hair was in a braid down your back, your adorable pink striped Victoria's Secret pajamas soft against your skin. Music played from your Alexa, your nighttime playlist floating through the air, one of Olivia Rodrigo's new songs gracing your ears.

The thick socks covering your feet kept them from the cold of the linoleum in your bathroom. You took out your contacts, throwing them out before slipping on your glasses. You grabbed your phone off the counter after exiting the bathroom, seeing a couple Snapchat notifications, some from TikTok, and a few messages from your best friend. All three of her texts had said something along the lines of how you should've come out tonight. The third one said how JJ McCarthy was asking where you were. You sighed, turning your phone back off and checking on your banana bread.

JJ had been your friend since freshman year. He was very sweet and so kind. He was so mature and was one of the most polite people you knew. You'd always thought he was extremely cute, I mean, who didn't think that? He had the cutest smile, and the softest dirty blonde hair. His blue eyes were gorgeous. He'd started his little flirting game with you about halfway through sophomore year. He'd compliment you endlessly whenever you saw him, he'd randomly ask you out in the middle of a conversation. That same smile on his face, bright as ever. You, of course, took it all as a joke, a cruel one at that. You assumed JJ was just a flirty guy with a flirty personality, you'd experienced it before. There was zero chance someone like JJ McCarthy would like you.

"Come on. You guys really think he's being serious when he says that stuff?"

"Yes! We do, because he likes you, and it's so obvious. He doesn't talk to us like that, does he?"

You rolled your eyes. Starting to get pissed with them. Your brain could not compute the idea of JJ really liking you.

"Why in the world would JJ McCarthy, probably the most eligable bachelor on the campus of Michigan, like me? I'm not one of the prettiest girls at Mich, let alone am I the prettiest girl that likes him!"

Sometimes you would wonder that if you thought you were pretty, then maybe you'd believe them. You had bad underlying insecurities that stopped you from believing that any guy would like you, let alone someone like JJ.

You leaned your forehead against your silver fridge, the cool of the metal relaxing you. You could hear its low whirring and humming with your proximity to it. The sound occupying your brain as a white noise, leading you to close your eyes. You might've actually fallen asleep if the timer for your bread didn't go off, you scrambling to shout at your Alexa to, 'Please, stop!' You grabbed oven mitts and grabbed the tray after sticking a toothpick into it to check the middle. You set the pan down on your cooling rack, sliding your gloves off. You grabbed your phone and paused your music, going to sit on the couch while your bread cooled.

You stalked your friends Snapchat stories, they were all having fun at the big party everyone seemed to be attending. You halted when you saw your best friend's private story, you knew it only had a handful of people so she posted silly and random things on it.

What she'd posted was a zoomed in photo of what resembled JJ McCarthy with his head thrown back against the couch of whatever frat house they were in. His face looked miserable, and the caption on the photo was saying how that's how she too reacted when you didn't come to parties. You immediately slid up, typing in all caps telling her to shut up. You said how he was not upset over you, and how she was stupid and drunk. It was all lighthearted, you both knew it.

She immediately typed back to you, claiming he'd drunkenly asked her at least four times where you were and why you didn't want to come see him. You giggled to yourself, believing it for just a few moments. You typed to her for a few more minutes before your phone started vibrating in your hand, JJ's contact coming onto your screen. You were met with the photo you'd had him saved with, him smiling that bright beautiful smile across the table from you at Panera sometime during last school year. What was JJ calling you for? You slid to answer, holding your phone to your ear. It was oddly quiet on his end, though he was actively attending a party. He called your name, and you called his.

"JJ? What's up? Are you alright?"

"Hi! Oh my gosh, hi. I can't believe you aren't here right now, I was only excited to see you."

You smiled sadly, he was endearing, and so totally plastered.

"Aw, JJ, I'm sorry. Where are you? It's pretty quiet for a party."

"Oh, yeah. I'm just in the bathroom, standin' around. I got bored. Ya' know, I miss you."

He was so drunk, his words were melting together, but his happiness stayed solid throughout.

"Jay, are you alright? Do you need someone to help you leave? Is Blake there? Colston?"

"You should, we can hang out! But yeah, he's 'round here somewhere. Lemme go get 'im."

You said okay, letting the boy look for his friend. The noise on his end got louder as he left the bathroom. You giggled when you heard him shout hey at random people around the house. You heard JJ call your name into his phone, then again.

"JJ, I'm still here. Any luck finding Colston?"

"Why don't you jus' go marry Colston if he's all 'yer gonna talk about"

You barely heard it, he muttered it with the phone a few inches from his mouth. You were shocked at the words JJ said. What?

"What, JJ?"

"Wish y'were talkin' about me."

You smiled, still a bit confused. His drunk mind was extremely silly.

"I'm talking to you, aren't I? The only boy's call I'd pick up this late."

JJ was ecstatic, smiling brightly as he continued through the party, looking for his teammates.

"I see him! Colston! Come here buddy, she wants to talk to you."

You heard a confused colston mutter 'Who's she?' before he took the phone from JJ, seeing your contact before talking to you.

"Oh hey, what's up?"

"JJ is like, absolutely plastered if you couldn't tell. Are you all good? I asked him and he told me he wanted me to pick him up. If I come get him can you bring him to my car? I'm already in my pajamas."

"Yeah, think Jay'll definitely love that. Kid hasn't stopped asking about you since we got here. I'll have him outside whenever 'ya get here."

You responded with an affirmative, thanking Colston. He handed the phone back to JJ, who was very happy to hear your voice again.

"Hey! What's up? Colston said you're coming to get me."

"Yeah, I'll see you in a couple minutes, okay Jay?"

"Awesome."

He hung up and you giggled. How did you go from an innocent call with the boy to asking him if he needed to be picked up? You shook your head at yourself, standing and grabbing your keychain.

You left your apartment and drove to the house you knew the party was at. Your friends had told you which house it was in case you changed your mind and came. It was less than ten minutes before you were in front of the bustling house, seeing two boys standing on the sidewalk.

You rolled down the window as they walked over, shouting hey to them. JJ was visibly drunk, stumbling just a little as he leaned into your car, a big smile on his face.

"Hi, pretty."

"Hi, JJ."

Colston helped his teammate into the car, making sure you were good to take care of the boy.

"Yeah, we'll be fine, Colst. I'll let 'im have my couch for tonight. I'll text you if I need anything!"

He nodded, lightly slapping the side of your car twice before retreating to the house. You turned your music back on, leaving it at a low volume as you turned around to drive home. You glanced at JJ and noticed the biggest pout on his face.

"JJ McCarthy. I know I didn't just drive over here to get you just for you to be pouting when you get in my car."

"Just text Colston about it, why don't you?"

You busted out giggling. Drunk JJ was such a treat. His jealousy over your friendship with his teammate was incredibly hilarious.

"I might if you don't start bein' nice t'me."

"Sorry 'm being mean."

He barely murmured it, though it was all you needed. You smiled brightly at him, laughing to yourself. JJ never got drunk, he usually opted for just a drink or two, or being the designated driver.

You got home quickly, making small talk with the now sleepy boy. You parked in your spot, hopping out of the car and walking around the hood to help JJ out. He'd stayed at yours after a party once or twice before, but it had always been with a couple other people. Tonight it was just you two.

You walked in, stepping into the elevator right behind JJ. The two of you stepped out of the elevator as the machine dinged and the doors slid open. JJ grabbed your hand as you walked down the hall to your door. You glanced at him, softly smiling. His eyes were barely open, but he still had a smile on his face. You didn't take the action as anything serious, JJ was a physical touch kind of person. He was always hugging people, patting shoulders, bumping fists. He was extra physical with you though, not that you noticed. You were the only girl he ever really acted like that with, again, not to your acknowledgment.

You wouldn't let yourself believe he liked you. Convinced it would hurt too much when eventually he got a prettier, skinnier, bubblier, more likable girlfriend and left you in the dust. JJ had eyes solely for you, though. He only ever looked at you. He asked anyone and everyone if they knew where you were or if you were coming to the party for God's sake.

You closed the door behind JJ and locked it, telling him to make himself at home. He took his shoes off, trying to neatly organize them in your shoe cubby. He wandered over to the couch as you kicked your shoes off and entered your kitchen. You grabbed a cold water bottle, two Ibuprofen tablets and two Tylenol tablets, the perfect hangover cure. You noticed your still warm banana bread sitting on the counter, perking up.

"Jay, do you want some banana bread?"

You heard his footsteps then saw him come around the corner, his eyebrows raised.

"Hell yes."

You giggled, gesturing for him to come stand by you. You flipped the pan over onto the cooling rack, opening the drawer directly in front of you, pulling out a bread knife. You felt a head slip into the crook of your neck, warm breath on your neck. Heat rushed your face, JJ's contagious smile spreading to you.

"Hi, crazy."

You pointed to the water and pills on the counter as you swerved out of his reach, going to grab a cutting board and a plate.

"Take those and your head won't hurt in the morning. Well, I don't know how much you drank, but that'll definitely make it better."

He nodded, immediately following your directions. He gulped down half of the water bottle while you came back over, laying the loaf of bread on the cutting board. You cut a couple pieces off, setting one onto the plate before sliding it over to JJ. He smiled at you, beginning to devour his snack. Hopefully it would absorb some of the alcohol in his stomach.

"You're amazing, you know."

He said it in a way that made it seem like he meant it on a deeper level than you'd usually assume. He said it like he truly did believe that, and it wasn't just because you fed him warm banana bread. You shook your head, brushing it off as you tore of pieces from your slice.

"No, don't shake your head a'me. You are. You act like you're not but y'are."

He was too good at making you feel special. You were just too scared to believe any of it.

"I just like to take care of people I like."

You smiled innocently at him, shrugging your shoulders as you moved to grab a proper storage container for your bread.

"And I just like when the girl I like believes me when I tell her she's amazing."

You froze in your spot. Sure, JJ had flirted with you for about a year. But, he'd never downright told you he liked you. He's drunk out of his mind. You sighed when you turned around, trying to smile at the boy as you stared into his sleepy eyes.

"You're so sleepy, JJ, and drunk."

He nodded a little, his eyes never leaving yours, that smile never leaving his face. He didn't really notice that you'd downplayed his feelings, he'd noticed even less that he'd straight up told you you were the girl he liked. All he could really notice was how beautiful you looked in the dim light of your kitchen, in your cute pajamas and glasses, hair in a messy braid.

You set JJ up on your couch, getting him another water and some thick and soft blankets and a pillow. You ran your hand through his messy hair as he laid in the couch beneath you. His eyes were begging to close, but he still smiled at you. You quietly told him to go to sleep, turning to leave. You'd only made it to the light switch before he called your name.

"I really do like you, 'm not just drunk. Just get too nervous to tell you, 'm sorry."

Your heart was heavy. You wanted to believe him, but how could you? JJ had never shown what you deemed as genuine interest in you when he wasn't inebriated. All he did was toss flirty comments around, throwing his arm over your shoulder every once in a while.

You couldn't lie and say you didn't notice the different look in JJ's eyes as he peered over the back of your couch. The truth in them.

"If you even remember this in the morning, we can talk about it. Alright?"

"That's perfect."

He smiled at you one last time before sinking below the back of your couch, out of sight.

"Goodnight Jay."

"Night night, pretty."

His words made your heart squeeze. You knew that the affection you felt for JJ wouldn't change, no matter if they were just drunk fibs.

You switched the living room lights off, heading into the kitchen. You set out another water and more pills for whenever JJ woke up in the morning. You checked the locked once more before turning all of the lights off. All you heard as you headed back to your bedroom was JJ's heavy breathing, it calmed your racing heart. You left your door cracked open incase JJ woke up needing something.

Your glasses slid up your head as your rubbed your eyes, sighing. You kept reminding your heart that JJ didn't really know what he was saying, that he would regret it.

The bed you slept countless nights in was uncomfortable as ever tonight, you tossed and turned for most of an over before climbing out of bed. You threw your cute pajamas onto the hardwood floor and traded them for a Lululemon bra and some shorts.

You fell asleep after another forty minutes of shifting every minute or so. Your sleep was light and poor. You woke up a little after four am, just three hours after finally falling asleep. Sleep finally took you again for a couple more hours, just until a little after nine.

After lying and staring at your ceiling for half an hour, you slowly sat up in bed, getting up. You exited your room, dragging yourself to the living room. The couch was empty, the blanket JJ had used folded neatly on top of the pillow. How sweet was he? You turned and walked into the kitchen, finally spotting the dirty blonde boy you wanted to see.

He turned at the sound of your footsteps, smiling. He was holding a water bottle, his eyes tired and his hair still messy.

"Good morning, JJ."

"Hi."

You felt nerves wash over you. This was it, where he either apologizes and regrets everything he said last night, or you got everything you'd hoped for. You went over to where he was leaning against your counter, hopping up to sit on the counter by him. His head fell to your shoulder as if by reflex.

"How do you feel, Jay?"

"Good, better 'cause y'took care of me."

"I just gave you some meds, Jay."

"Still."

You smiled, leaning your head on his. Maybe it would all be okay. Maybe he would be in love with you. You took a deep breath, now or never.

"Jay, do you-"

"Yes."

You pulled your head from his, turning to give him a look.

"You don't even know what I was gonna say."

"I remember what I said."

You bit your lip, still nervous. You look to where your feet dangled in the air, suddenly scared of his gaze on you.

JJ was nervous as hell too, though. You hadn't said that you liked him back, he definitely remembered that. He was beginning to take your silence as disinterest. He just stared at you, waiting for some indication of how you felt.

"And?"

"'And?' And, I like you."

Your nerves escaped from your body in a giggle, the churning of your stomach now butterflies. JJ did not appreciate the laughter though, taking it the complete wrong way.

"You don't have to laugh at me, shit."

He reached his hands to his eyes, rubbing hard as he started off, away from you. You giggled again, realizing your mistake. You jumped from the counter, sighing JJ's name out.

"Wait, wait Jay, I'm sorry. It's not like that."

You grabbed his arm, trying to halt the taller and stronger boy wasn't easy without his compliance. You shouted his name again and he stopped, turning to you.

"I'm not laughing 'cause you like me. I'm laughing 'cause I barely slept last night worried that you wouldn't like me."

JJ finally looked at you. His eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"What's do you mean? I literally told you I liked you!"

"JJ! You were so drunk! I wasn't about to convince myself that JJ McCarthy liked me just 'cause he said so while he was plastered."

"I wasn't plastered! And, what do you mean when y'say it like that?"

You rolled your eyes, halfway annoyed. He didn't get it.

"JJ, you could probably get with any girl on the Michigan campus if you wanted to. I wasn't convinced that out of all of them you'd actually want me."

"How could I not like you?"

The truth in JJ's eyes made you feel seen. Like he actually knew you. You smiled sappily, pulling the boy down by his shoulder, kissing him deeply. One of JJ's hands gripped the back of your head, the other pulling you closer by the small of your back.

There you were, standing in your kitchen kissing the boy you could've sworn never liked you. The boy you'd been infatuated with for a year. He was finally yours.

JJ pulled away from your lips, his hands moving to cup your face. His smile was brighter than ever. You both laughed, looking into each other's eyes for just a few seconds before JJ pulled you back in.

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Hold On

Summary: Maddie finds Reader on the bathroom floor after Reader attempted. The 118 receive the call as she is one of their own & then wait at the hospital with their family. Meanwhile, Reader is reminded of all her people & why she can’t give up. 

TW/CW: PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNSURE IF YOU SHOULD!!! I'd rather you skip the read than get put in a bad place... Suicide Attempt, Reader's Bio Parents Are Dog Shit, Eddie Diaz x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst 

Requested?: No  

Word Count: 5,236

A/N: This was hella therapeutic to write. I’m not okay mentally but I’m working on it & writing this helped me take a step back from THAT area of my mind. I have my own real-life people that would play in my Movie Theater (this reference will make sense once you read it) & I watch that instead of venturing into the darkness. I’m sure it may not be entirely medically accurate. I apologize if it ever switches tenses weirdly or when it shouldn’t, I kind of confused myself with certain parts lol. Anyway, I just want you to know dear reader, you are loved, you are wanted, you are needed. If you ever need someone to talk to my dms are open. Love to all! Requests are open! 

--- Third Person POV ---

     Maddie found it odd that your home was silent when she walked in. You can't stand silence, even when you're sleeping there's soft lo-fi playing. It wasn't unusual for your friends to let themselves in but Maddie always at least knocked first. Usually that prompted you to rush to the door to meet her when it opened. You were nowhere to be seen. Maybe Buck was right. He had asked her to check in on you because he had a bad gut feeling. If he wasn't stuck at work, he'd have checked in on you himself.  

     Maddie set her purse and keys down on the kitchen counter, "(Y/N)?" No response. She made her way through your small apartment. She checked each room with no luck before finally making it to the guest bathroom. She knocked softly but hearing no response she opened the door. She immediately let go of the knob as her hand flew to her mouth in shock. She rushed to your side, "(Y/N)? Hey, wake up!" Her heart plummeted to her stomach as she hurriedly pulled her phone out to dial 911 and scanned the room around her. 

     "911, what's your emergency?" she recognized the voice immediately. 

     "Josh! It's (Y/N)! Send the 118," Maddie responded quickly as she checked over your vitals. 

     "Maddie what's going on?" Josh asked, the worry clear in his tone.

     As she continued her attempts to wake you, she explained, "There's so many medicine bottles scattered around, a nearly empty bottle of liquor, and a bunch of crumpled pieces of paper, Josh. She's barely breathing and her pulse is extremely low." 

     On the other end of the line, Josh was in pure shock, "Maddie did she-" 

     "Yes, Josh. She did," Maddie sobbed, tears streaming down her face as she still tried to wake you. The sirens approaching told her that help was close, "I hear the sirens. I gotta go." 

     "Okay, just keep me posted," Josh replied. 

     "I will," Maddie answered as she heard the front door open and hung up the phone. In seconds, Buck was pulling her out of the room holding her securely in his arms even though he so desperately needed to be in there helping save his best friend. Bobby watched the two make their way to the living room from outside the bathroom door as he held tight to Eddie's shoulder. He had dropped to his knees on the cold, hard, tile floor while gasping for breath between sobs and collected your hand in his. Hen and Chimney set to work on stabilizing you for transport to the hospital, forcing the tears to stay inside until they got you there. 

     As they wheeled your still body out with all kinds of equipment hooked to it, Maddie jumped up from the couch and ran to grab her keys and purse, "I'm riding with her." The team didn't argue as they made their way out. Once they had you safely loaded onto the ambulance, Chimney helped Maddie into the back, kissing her hand to say goodbye as Hen made her way to the driver's seat. Eddie climbed into the back to take over for Chimney. His hands were shaky as he checked your vitals over and over again, silently begging you to wake up right then and there. Begrudgingly, Buck and Chimney followed Bobby to the fire truck.  

     Maddie's heart raced as she held your hand gently. Eddie took a split second away from tending to you to wipe the tears rolling down his cheeks, "She'll be ok," he said more to himself than Maddie. 

     Her heart broke, "She's obviously not been ok for a long time, Eddie. How did none of us see it?" 

     From the front, Hen answered, her own tears threatening to blur her vision, "(Y/N) seems to think she has to fight her battles alone. She always has." 

     Back in the fire truck it was silent until Chimney finally spoke up, "Why didn't she say something?" 

     Bobby responded from the driver's seat, "I don't know, Chim. All I know is what we can do which is be there for her when she makes it through this." 

     Buck couldn't bring himself to look up from his boots, "Did anyone else see the note on the counter?" They all thought about those two simple words, I'm sorry. Fresh tears began to make their way down Buck's cheeks as Chimney wiped his own. Bobby took a deep breath as they pulled up at the hospital. 

     Everyone piled out of both vehicles as Eddie and Hen removed you from the ambulance and wheeled you toward the entrance. As they handed you off to the doctors and nurses, informing them of everything they could, every one of them were fighting to stay put and not pass those glass doors. 

     A few hours later, the team finally finished their shift. Maddie and Eddie had stayed at the hospital to keep everyone informed and for the sake of their own sanity. No one else had said a word about the event that had occurred. They were all replaying and processing that span of time. Having heard about everything from Maddie, Carla had offered to pick Jee and Chris both up from daycare and school to take care of them for as long as their parents needed. Karen, who had heard about it from Maddie as well, told Hen to do what she needed to do but let her know as soon as Hen needed her or she and the kids could visit. The team piled into Bobby's truck and silently rode to the hospital. 

     When they arrived and found Maddie and Eddie in the waiting room, a group hug was formed. They leaned on each other as they all desperately hoped that a nurse or doctor would approach to let them know you were okay and awake. 

     Meanwhile, in your quiet hospital room, a nurse took your vitals as you lay there still motionless. Your heart rate and oxygen had come up but were nowhere near where they should be for a young, healthy, firefighter. Somewhere in your unconscious mind there was a song playing. For as long as you could remember, Hold On by Chord Overstreet had always made you cry. It brought to mind the people in your life that would miss you if you were gone. Sure, those people changed in and out depending on where you were in life but this time it was the faces of your friends, your family. As the song played, memories also played on a big movie theater screen. You sat in the seats alone. 

     The first day you walked into the 118 firehouse started the movie. The smile on Bobby, Hen, and Chimney's faces when you tripped over a bench before stumbling through introducing yourself. They introduced themselves as well before motioning for you to join them upstairs for lunch. You had instantly clicked with them and they quickly became like family to you. 

     Next came the day you met your best friend, Buck, shortly followed by every single time anyone had referred to the two of you as "the dynamic duo". Then came every time you had looked at Buck and "thought what would I do without him". Buck had been your crutch through so much pain and heartache. The two of you were two peas in a pod from the very beginning. He was someone you could always depend on to be there and you were someone he could always trust to never judge him for who he is. 

     Meanwhile, the doctor has finally let a few people at a time visit, he said no more than three for now. Every one insisted that Bobby, Buck, and Eddie go first. As soon as they opened the door, tears started trickling again at the sight of your motionless body. Buck tore his eyes away from you and looked around thinking for a few seconds before walking right over to the table at your side to pick up the remote and turn the tv on at a low volume, "She hates silence." Bobby nodded, offering an attempt at a smile as he placed his hand on Buck's shoulder. Eddie still stood at the door, staring at you.  

     Bobby noticed and stepped to his side, gently tugging his arm to place him beside the heart monitor, "It's beating, Eddie. Let that bring you some hope." Eddie looked up at the line on the screen before nodding and pulling up a chair to your side. He gently took your hand in his, staying mindful of the IV, and kissed your knuckles. Bobby made his way over to your other side and brushed your hair from your face. He took a deep breath as he listened to the steady beeps. The silence was broken by Buck, "You gotta come back to us, (Y/N) ... We need you." The three sat in silence for a few more moments before Bobby gently pulled Buck back to the waiting room so another two could visit. 

     Back in the theater, Maddie made an appearance next. The day you met, all the fun outings the two of you had, the gossip sessions and boy talk, all of it flashed across the screen in chronological order. She was like a sister to you. Growing up a single child, you never knew what that was like until Maddie came along. 

     The first time you ever saw Eddie played, the man who would turn the dynamic duo into the three musketeers and later become the love of your life. You watched as several different occasions of you, him, and Buck taking Chris out for an adventure. Then Chris became the focus. That kid had taught you a lot in the few years you'd known him. Every lesson played in succession. 

     Following Chris and Eddie came several other people that had made a positive impact in your life. Faces like Jee-Yun Buckley Han who you always referred to as your niece, Athena Grant-Nash who you looked upon as a mother figure, May Grant who you dubbed as your little sister and always looked out for, Josh Russo who always had the best non-biased advice, Carla Price who you knew your small family could never live without, and several others. Behind them came everyone who had ever thanked you for saving them in their time of need. Many faces that you didn’t even realize you remembered said thank you over and over again. As the final chorus and bridge played, specific moments showed in time with the lyrics. 

Hold on, I still want you. 

     The night you turned up on Bobby and Athena's doorstep crying so hard you couldn't see because your parents had both told you that they never wanted to see you again for supporting your friends who were part of the LGBTQIA+ community. They had welcomed you in and comforted you, making sure that you knew without a doubt that, "We would happily call you our daughter if given the chance.” From that night on, their names in your contacts were Momma Athena and Captain Dad, formerly Athena and Captain Nash. The next morning, you woke up on their couch to the smell of waffles and sausage. When you shuffled into the kitchen, Bobby gave you a great big grin and insisted you join them for family breakfast with May, Harry, Michael, and David. 

Come back, I still need you. 

     The day Buck turned up on your doorstep begging you to come back to the 118 after having been transferred against your will, "I feel like I'm gonna go insane without you there. You're the glue that holds my dumbass and the rest of the 118 together." Not to mention, "Don't get me wrong, Eddie's great but I need my other best friend back. We can't be the Three Musketeers without you." He declared that if you wouldn't talk to your Captain about transferring back, then he would and he wouldn't leave until the man put in the transfer request. Knowing damn well he'd do just that, you promised to talk to him the next day and sure enough you were soon transferred back which you to this day believe Bobby and Buck both had something to do with because your Captain was adamant that he wasn't going to transfer you. 

Let me take your hand, I'll make it right. 

     The time that Hen and Chimney patched you up after Gerard made a stupid call and sent you into a burning building even though you had just gotten over bronchitis. They both fought tooth and nail to keep from giving him a piece of their mind. Chimney promised, "I'm gonna make him regret putting you in danger like that," and he did. He made Gerard's life a malicious compliance hell until he was finally gone and you all had Bobby back. Hen was always Mother Hen-ing you after that. She never let anyone do you wrong if she had anything to say about it and she would always be first to bat when it came to patching you up, "Ah ah, don't touch her. That's my firefighter that needs patching," was common when Chimney or another station's medic got to you before her. 

I swear to love you all my life. 

     The night Eddie found out that Chris had been calling you Mom and insisted you come over to talk. With Chris in bed, the two of you sat on the couch. Eddie cleared his throat, "I've fought with myself for a while now about how I feel about you. You're my friend and coworker. I shouldn't feel the need to scream I love you and kiss you until neither of us can breathe. I shouldn't need you in my life as much as I do," he paused, "But after finding out that Chris calls you Mom, that he loves you as much as I do, I don't care. I understand if you don't feel the same but I love you, (Y/N)." The two of you made eye contact before you told him you felt the same and began a beautiful relationship. 

Hold on, I still need you. 

     Several different occurrences that always stuck out in your memory of someone thanking you after a call. One in particular, a teenage girl whose mother had to call 911 after finding her in a bathtub of her own blood. She barely made it but you talked to her the entire time the medics were stabilizing her to keep her awake. You made sure to check in on her at the hospital after your shift. She was smiling brightly and laughing with her family when you knocked softly at the door. Her father had stood defensively at the entrance of a stranger but her mother pulled him back, “This young lady helped save our daughter.” The girl looked at you and motioned for you to come closer. When you made it to her bedside, she took your hand in hers, “Thank you. We need good people like you in this world and I’m very glad that you’re one of the ones out there saving lives, saving mine. Please, tell your team thank you for me.” All you could do was nod and offer a smile. 

I don't wanna let go. I know I'm not that strong. 

     The day Maddie told you, "You're basically my little sister, (Y/N). I don't ever wanna lose you. You are loved beyond compare, I promise," after you confessed to her that you were struggling with suicidal thoughts. She made you promise to come to her if you ever found your mind in that place again. She said she wouldn't be able to bear the thought of having to let you go. You remember thinking that same thing when she disappeared after having Jee. You spent countless nights lying awake worrying about her. You wished you could be there for like she had been for you.  

I just wanna hear you saying, "Baby, let's go home." Let's go home. Yeah, I just wanna take you home. 

     Every time you looked around at your people and thought this is family, this is home. Several meals at the fire house, all the parties and cook outs at the Grant-Nash residence, the weddings, birthdays, and other various celebrations, the moments after you thought you'd lost one or more of them in disasters but there they were safe and sound. You knew early on that they would be there for you to the very end. Darkness and light, sickness and health, they were there, not just for each other but for you too. They gave you a place to feel safe, to feel like you belong. 

Hold on, I still want you. Come back, I still need you. 

     The screen fades to black as you sit there wondering why you ever decided to give that up. Tears stream down your face and drip onto your lap as you hope with all your might that this isn't the end. You silently beg the universe to give you another chance. 

     In the quiet hospital room, the heart monitor is now beeping at a healthier rhythm. Eddie and Bobby both now sit on either side of your bed. Everyone has come for a visit before returning to the waiting room. Buck, Maddie, and Chimney are all playing with Jee who was brought by Carla not long ago. The little girl is bringing everyone in the waiting room a bit of sunshine as she sits rotating between her mom, dad, and uncle playing patty cake. Tommy smiles brightly as his boyfriend lets Jee "win" at patty cake, up until this moment he had no idea one could win playing patty cake.  

     Across from them, Carla and Athena speak quietly as Chris sits between them. He hasn't said a word since he returned to the waiting room from his visit to you. Hen, Karen, Denny, and Mara return from the cafe with snacks for everyone, juices for the kids, and coffees for the adults. As they pass them around, Eddie and Bobby enter the waiting room, Eddie rubbing his face in exhaustion before squatting down in front of Chris, "You okay?" Hen hands the tired man a coffee as Chris stares blankly at his lap. Eddie rubs his shoulder as Bobby clarifies that the doctor and nurse needed to take a look at you to get an idea of your status but that you're still hanging in. Eddie hadn't left your room the entire time since they were allowed to visit. Bobby had returned and stayed too after everyone else had a visit. 

     Eddie places his pointer finger under Chris's chin and finally the young boy looks up, making direct eye contact with him, "I want to go see Mom again." Everyone in the room shows various signs of surprise, Chris had never called you Mom in front of anyone else besides you and Eddie. Eddie kisses his forehead before nodding as he stands. Together the two make their way back to your side. The doctor and nurse having just finished up when they enter your room. 

     Chris takes a seat in the chair that Eddie had been occupying previously, as his dad stands behind him. Chris places his hand on top of yours, prompting Eddie to place his on Christopher's shoulders. Chris tilts his ear toward the steady beeping, "It sounds better." Behind him Eddie is struggling to keep it together as he whispers, "Yeah." He takes a few deep breaths as the room falls quiet again. The beeping persists just like the tv that no one could bring themselves to turn off. In some way they're all hoping the noise brings you a bit of comfort. Chris lays his head down where his hand meets yours, "I love you, Mom. Hold on, okay?" Eddie lays his head against the back of Christopher's. As hard as he tries to keep them in, the tears force their way out even harder.  

     The two say nothing more for quite some time. At some point, Eddie made his way over to stare blankly out the window. It's only when Carla pokes her head in that he turns around and notices that Chris has fallen asleep. She notices too, "I was going to offer to take him home for some sleep but I guess he's just fine where he is." Eddie nods, "He can stay. I'm sure he'll put up a fight if we try to make him leave." She agrees and looks over at where Chris still lays on your hand, "He'll want to be here when she wakes up, but you should get some sort of rest too, Eddie." He nods so Carla takes one last look at you and Chris before leaving the room. 

     A few hours pass before Eddie is startled awake, in what was formerly Bobby's chair, by a knock at the door. He gets up, assuming it's the doctor and nurse here to check on you again, and opens the door. In front of him is neither a doctor nor a nurse, it's Bobby with a man and a woman he doesn't recognize. The two strangers almost hide behind Bobby who has a serious look on his face. He clears his throat, "Eddie, this is (Y/N)'s parents. Mr. & Mrs. (Y/L/N) this is (Y/N)'s boyfriend Eddie." The woman tries to smile and the man nods his head solemnly. Eddie clenches his jaw as he notices the lack of tears on either of their faces. He doesn't know who called them but he wishes they hadn't. Eddie takes a deep breath before stepping aside to let them in. 

     Eddie makes his way over to stand between your parents and Chris as they make their way into the room. Bobby joins him, giving him a look that says, "Please stay calm." Your parents stop at the foot of the bed, your mother holds her hand to her chest as her face contorts into a very fake look of sadness and your father wraps his arms around her seemingly in support but still neither of them even look watery eyed. Eddie's fists now join his jaw in clenching. How dare they walk in here after not speaking to you in years? Eddie knows that your real mom is sitting in the waiting room with the rest of your real family and your real dad is standing right beside him now. 

     Bobby places his hand on Eddie's shoulder and even though he doesn't want to he says, "We should give them a moment." Eddie whips his head around to look at him but finds a very serious look on his face. Begrudgingly and with gritted teeth, Eddie turns around to pick up Chris who doesn't even stir. With Bobby behind him, he returns to the waiting room with the others. He takes a seat beside Buck who looks at him with a knowing and worried look, "The hospital called them." 

     Bobby joins Athena, "And whether we like it or not, they're her parents. They made the effort to come down here so we have to make the effort to play nice." 

     "Even if they only came to save face and pretend that they care?" Maddie asks looking up from Jee who is sound asleep in her arms. She and Buck know well what type of parents you have. They've both caught themselves thinking your parents are just as bad theirs, if not worse.  

     "We can't assume the worst. We have to give them the benefit of the doubt," Bobby says, sounding like he doesn't believe what he's saying. 

     A short while later, your parents make their way through the waiting room, looking no more distraught than they did before. They try to make it to the elevator but Eddie, who shifts Chris into Buck's lap, isn't having it, "Where are you going?" he asks as he stands and steps toward them. Bobby and Tommy are both quick to stand as well and join him just in case. Your father ignores them and presses the elevator button several times. "You're seriously leaving? You just got here and she's still unconscious." 

     Bobby and Tommy each place a hand on Eddie's shoulders as your father responds, "The doctor says she's doing fine and they're just waiting for her to wake up. We've had a long drive and need to sleep." 

     Eddie steps forward but doesn't make it far as Bobby and Tommy move to block his path. He's fuming, "Why did you even come? You haven't bothered to speak to her in years. Even when you were on speaking terms, you didn't give a shit about her, only yourselves. Even now you care more about going to sleep in a comfortable bed than staying with your daughter." Neither your mother nor father say anything or even look in Eddie's direction. He motions around him, "Us? Her real family? We've been here nearly the entire time. The only sleep any of us have gotten is in a rickety ass waiting room chair or hard hospital recliner. Don't come in here pretending like you care when you clearly don't. Actually, don't even bother getting a hotel, just go home." 

     “You better watch your mouth, boy,” your father finally snaps, stomping toward Eddie, “I don’t give a damn who you are. That is our daughter in there.” 

     Bobby interrupts him in the calmest voice anyone has ever heard from him, “I think she stopped being your daughter the moment you disowned her for supporting her friends. We gave you the benefit of the doubt and you proved our instincts correct. We should’ve told you to leave as soon as you got here. Now please, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” 

     Your father stands stun locked, mouth gasping for a response. Tommy grins wide, “I don’t think they’re giving you a choice in the matter. Leave.” The three of them and the rest of their family watch as your father finally gives up and rejoins your mother at the open elevator. They leave without saying another word. Only when the elevator doors close fully do Bobby and Tommy release Eddie and return to their seats. 

     Eddie doesn’t move. He stands there trying to regain his composure. The audacity of your parents to show up has sent him raging. The doctor approaches him, bringing him back to reality. He looks to the man with every ounce of hope he can muster. Grinning, the doctor announces, “She’s awake,” looking around at the group, he continues, “She’s asking for you.” 

     Confused, Eddie asks for clarification, “Who?” 

     The doctor looks him in the eyes, “All of you.” Together, everyone makes their way to your room. Before entering the doctor ensures everyone, “I’ll let you know when you can take her home.” 

     From your bed you look up with a bright smile on your face and tears in your eyes, “I already am home, Doc. Wherever these people are is home.” As one, everyone moves to crowd around you with their own tears now falling. Eddie and Chris take a seat on the edge of your bed, letting the rest fill in the empty space. You look around you for a moment, placing your chin on Christopher’s head. In that hospital room, you make a promise to yourself that anytime you feel like giving up you’re going to listen to that song or gather everyone around you to remind yourself why you can’t give up. You need them and they want you. They are your family and home. 

     Sometime later, Chris is snuggled into your side asleep. Eddie and Bobby have both taken their chairs back on either side of you. You had insisted everyone else go home and get some sleep but little do you know several of them had gone to your apartment instead to clean it up before you get released tomorrow. You check to make sure Chris is sound asleep before reaching for Eddie and Bobby’s hands. When they quickly take yours in theirs you look between them both a couple times before looking down at Chris, “I’m sorry,” it comes out quieter than you meant it to but they both heard it clearly. 

     Bobby clears his throat speaking for the both of them since all Eddie can do is lean forward and kiss your knuckles with tears making it hard to see, “We’re just glad you’re still here, kiddo.” 

     You nod, looking up at him, “I promise I’ll go see Frank. I know you’re gonna make me take time off anyway but I want to get back out there as soon as I can.” 

     He nods with a smile on his face, “I knew you’d wanna get back on the job but I am glad you understand that it’ll take time and you need to talk to someone.”  

     Eddie nudged your chin to look at him, “Thank you for holding on. Please promise me you’ll let me know if things ever get that bad again.” You nod holding your pinky out for a pinky promise which he immediately takes. The room falls quiet again, aside from the tv that still plays. That night you drift off to sleep with Chris still curled up next to you and Eddie laying on your hand. Bobby takes a Dad Nap in his chair, refusing to go home.  

     The next morning, after what felt like eons of paperwork, you let Eddie help you down out of Bobby’s truck outside of your apartment. Then, carefully, he and Bobby help you up the stairs with Chris leading the way. Your body still hasn’t recovered fully so you’re still quite weak and achy. When you open the door to your apartment, you’re met with the sight of your smiling family, colorful balloons, and a buffet of food on the counters. Placing your hand on your hip, you give them a playfully stern look, “I thought I told you guys to go home and rest.” 

     Buck pulls you into a gentle hug, “We did. Everyone got some sleep but also pitched in to help.”  

     Athena collects you into a hug as soon as he releases you, kissing your cheek when she pulls away, “Did you really think you’d come home to an empty house? Not on our watch, honey.”  

     All you can do is smile as you make your way further into the apartment and collect hugs from everyone. When the excitement has died down, you sit carefully on a barstool at the island and clear your throat, “I just want to say thank you. You guys are always there for me when I need you. Honestly, you’re the only thing that kept me here while I was under.” You think about Bobby telling you that your parents had showed up, everything they said, and how they acted, “You guys are my family and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Everyone smiles, a few of them wipe away fresh tears, but together all of you have a good time making conversation, enjoying Buck’s cooking, and laughing about stories from the past. Every now and then you catch a story that you remember playing in that movie theater and then you realize that they probably cherish those memories just as much as you do.  

Masterlist

More 911

[peachsukii]

Hihi, Peach!

I totally don't know if you're even taking asks, and you can ignore this if I you need to but! I had such a horrible, terrible day and I was hoping you could write something small to make me feel better about everything.. 😅

So, seven hours ago, I was a bright blonde but I needed a touch up so I went into the salon and payed 100 dollars for some upkeep.. I sat patiently for nearly six and a half hours, only to turn out with white/bleachy ashy roots and dark brown hair...... So not what I wanted! I sobbed in that stylists chair until my hair dryer and she just brushed ut off. Everyone has been telling me that it looks fine but compared ro the bright, beachy blonde that I came in with, I feel blatantly ugly now.. ☹️

Could you maybe write a super quick drabble or something about how Bakugo would try to comfort? If not, I totally get it! I adore your work so much.

Have the best day, lovely! 💕💕

Awww I'm so sorry to hear that :( There's nothing worse than getting the opposite of what you want, and paid for, done! I hope you don't mind that I use this little prompt for a Softie Sunday piece. <3

₊✩‧₊ ⎯  picture perfect 『 ♡ Bakugo x reader 』

content // age 22, fluff. reader & bakugo live together, he dyes your hair for you. :) 『 #reis softie sundays + softie sundays archive 』

Bakugo's sitting on the couch of your shared apartment, invested in his book while the TV buzzes in the background. He hears your key turn in the door and peaks over the pages toward the foyer, patiently waiting for you to reveal your new hair. You've been gone for over half the day - he assumed you'd be a few hours, but not...all day. Maybe you went with something completely different than usual?

When the door opens, you scuttle inside with your head hung low, a baseball cap covering your hair. Bakugo could somewhat see your hair sticking out from underneath. Why the hell were you hiding it?

"Didn't ya just get your hair done?" he calls from the living room. "What's with the hat?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," you say quietly, taking off your shoes and retreating to the bedroom. Without hesitation, Bakugo tosses his book onto the cushion and quickly perks up to follow you back to your joint bedroom. He leans on the doorframe, curiously watching you pace back and forth in front of the mirror.

"Somethin' wrong?" he asks, arms crossed over his chest. You slowly reach up to take off your hat, untucking your hair and letting it fall naturally.

"I hate my hair."

Bakugo gives you a once over, confused as to why you'd be upset. "S'nice. You're always pretty to me, sweetheart. What's wrong with it?"

"Over six hours and it came out the opposite of what I wanted. They stripped out my blonde color and replaced it with...this." You pull a strand of hair forward as example, showing off the new brownish color.

"I could fix it for ya," he proposes while walking over to you, fluffing your hair gently in his hands. "Used'ta bleach Red's hair for him back in school."

You sniffle and lean against his shoulder. "I'd like that."

He never ceases to surprise you.

Within the hour, Bakugo's back home with all the needed materials to fix your hair - toner, bleach, and gloss. Over the next few hours, he's tending to your hair to help bring it back to what you wanted, extremely focused on doing a perfect job. By the time you're all finished, it's way past his normal bedtime. You can tell by the look in his eyes that he's exhausted, but you're his number one priority - sleep can wait until Bakugo knows you're happy.

Once he's done drying your hair, he brushes it out for you before letting you look in the mirror, admiring his work. For an at home job, it's not half bad. He spins you around and playfully pushes you toward the bathroom mirror, smirking proudly when he catches your initial reaction.

"Wha'cha think?"

You're in awe. How the hell did he do this?!

"Katsuki...it's perfect!" you exclaim while flipping your hair around to see the subtle dimension of color shifting. "Exactly what I wanted. Thank you!"

He hugs you from behind and leaves a soft kiss on your cheek.

"Ya look gorgeous no matter what," he reminds you as he squeezes you tightly. "But I gotta say, I did a damn good job. Now let's get'ta bed already, I'm beat."

When you wake up the next morning, Bakugo compliments your appearance a multitude of times while the two of you are getting ready for work, reminding you just how beautiful you are to him in any light.

I hope this made you smile! <3

all tags; @kirishimaeijiromyman @strwbrrykthv @slayfics

@maddietries @starieqq @liluvtojineteyam

@jays-adventure3 @simp-plague @napbatata @queenpiranhadon

[patrophthia]

sycamore girl | sirius black

pairing: sirius black x reader

genre: fluff, fake-dating/relationships, the tiniest bit of angst, con artists sirius and reader sksks

word count: 12.3K

originally posted on my wattpad

"listen, i hate my father and i'm positively sure that he hates me too but he is filthy rich so i curated a-" he paused, considering his next words "-plan of sort."

"so you." he pointed to her.

"and i." he pointed to himself. "get married."

"we then inherit a trust fund that he and mother had set up for regulus and i when we were to be married and split." he finished explaining his plan."what do you say?”

“what do i say?" she repeated his words after a while. "no— you want to know what i think?"

at his nod she added, "i think that it's a stupid idea."

or two (one really) reluctant person chooses to marry the notorious sirius black for the price of many millions galleons.

"is this seat taken?" the voice caught her by surprise, raising her eyes to meet the asker's waiting ones.

"avril normally sits here," she replied, sparing a glance towards his usual seat; there sat lupin, potter and pettigrew bantering like they always did as they waited for the lesson to start. did they have a fight?

"well she's not here." he pointed out with a small smirk, making his way around the table to take a seat despite her words. "i'm sure she can find another spot."

she only bit her tongue, stopping herself from responding. black —whether he was purposely ignoring or genuinely failed to notice how irritated she seemed to be— cleared his throat, asking her a question that should've been expected from him, yet still managed to surprise her.

"are you seeing anyone?"

feeling as though something was stuck in her throat, she muttered quietly, "pardon?"

"you heard me," he said boldly, pulling his things out from his bag. "why is that any of your concerns?" black paused his actions, keeping his head low as he stared into his bag. "it's not," he admitted after a while, "i'm just curious."

she said nothing, watching as he continued rummaging his bag for his supplies. black lifted his head back up; quill in hand, his grey eyes meeting hers. "are you not going to answer my question sweetheart?"

"i'm not," she said eventually, turning towards the front of the class. "i'm not seeing anyone right now."

•••

it was late, she was tired; extremely tired but sleep didn't seem like it will be making its way to her anytime soon. lily had asked to meet her after class, when she asked why she couldn't just tell her more about the issue during their lunch break lily quickly told her that she had a prefects meeting to attend to (as if lupin eyes didn't grow wide, giving away that it was clearly a lie).

still, she went to the gryffindor's tower anyway, at the exact same place and time that lily had asked to meet her but the redhead wasn't there. instead there was potter, letting her into the common room and insisting that she wait on one of the couches instead of going up to the dorm to see her.

it wasn't until two minutes later when black showed up, sitting down besides her with a —somewhat— uncomfortable look (that didn't suit his handsome features at all) did she realize that this was another one of lily's lie.

"look," black started. helga, whatever did happen to hello, or how are you?, people really just skip to the point now these days. "i'm sure you're wondering why i'm here instead of evans and i will tell you that but i need you to hear everything first before you react, will you be able to do that?"

merlin, gryffindors are weird. "i'll try?"

"great, trying will do." he smiled charmingly, shuffling his weight so he could properly meet her eye to eye. "i have a..." he trailed off thinking to himself, "proposition?"

black licked his lips, mustering up his courage to continue on with his words. "listen, i hate my father and i'm positively sure that he hates me too but he is filthy rich so i curated a-" he paused, considering his next words "-plan of sort."

"so you." he pointed to her.

"and i." he pointed to himself. "get married."

"we then inherit a trust fund that he and mother had set up for regulus and i when we were to be married and split." he finished explaining his plan. "both the money and our relationship, you can go on your merry way and i on mine." he was searching her for a reaction, she knew that, she could feel his eyes roaming around for the most minuscule of movements that came from her. "what do you say?"

she was too stunned to speak; speechless at the shock of it all, it didn't help that his recap was half-assed. "what do i say?" she repeated his words after a while. "no— you want to know what i think?"

at his nod she added, "i think that it's a stupid idea."

black frowned at her words. "honestly, i think it's a solid plan, we just need to get married— we don't even need to be in love! just get married and you get money! it's that easy! it's not like i'm forcing you to join a cult-" to that she opened her mouth, trying to state that the noble house of black itself is a cult but sirius was quick to read her expression, shutting her up by continuing with his pleading, "-besides, i'm not bad looking and great company from what i've been told!"

"well if you're such great company why don't you go find someone else to be fake married to? i'm sure that they'll be plenty of girls lining up for the chance to be your fake wife."

"i don't want any of the other girls, i want you. you're not currently seeing anyone so no one will get hurt from this!" he replied, running a hand through his hair in a stressful manner. this was not how he had planned for it to go. "and i— i want it to be with someone i know and i just so happen to know you."

choosing to ignore how black both admitted that he wanted her for this specific purpose, or how the question that he had asked hours priors to this was in an ulterior motive, she exclaimed. "you also know dorcas. ask her! she's a great girl!" her voice was loud enough for the said girl to turn to her direction with a questioning look. "or marlene, she's extremely good looking."

"i can't," he retorted, sounding the slightest bit annoyed, "everyone and their mother knows marlene swings the other way."

"how are you sure i don't swing the other way then?"

"i don't— do you?" he asked with sudden interest. sirius shook his head, going back to the topic at hand when he stated, "the minimum that you'll get out of this is a million galleons, that's the minimum! i know there's more in that trust fund and i am willing to split it equally."

she thought about it for brief second before asking, "why me? and do not tell me because i'm someone you know because we barely know each other; i only came here to see lily but obviously i was tricked, so tell me why i should agree to this?"

black sighed, his voice growing grim when he answered, "you're the only girl i'm willing to invest in." he paused, maybe those weren't the smartest word choices but he was a flirt not a romantic and the difference had never been made clearer. "so won't you just... think about it, please."

•••

"are you going to do it?" lily asked, settling herself on the seat across from her. please lord, let her finish her essay in peace. "are you still mad at me? c'mon [name] i said i was sorry!"

and here she thought she would be safe in the library.

"i still have the rights to be mad about it," she retorted, keeping her head focused on finishing her work. "you made me sit through that god awful plan!"

"only because i thought you'd agree!" that grabbed her attention, making her turn to the person with an incredulous look. "you're extremely easy going so you could at least stand one another and it's a lot of money!"

"lily, you think i'd marry black for the money? i barely know the guy!"

"then think of it as an opportunity to get to know one another!" she exclaimed loud of enough to get the pair shushed by the librarian. "i mean i personally would for that kind of money."

"then you marry him!"

"no that's weird, i'm in love with his best friend!" she argued in return, a disgusted look on her face. "plus i can't stand him, i could barely talk to him for an hour without lecturing him let alone plan a whole wedding with him."

"i'm not going to marry a stranger."

"he isn't. think of it this way, by the time you finish all the planning he'd be a friend to you," she said, "or you know, something more than friends," she teased with a soft smile.

"lily, a divorce takes at least six months to be finalized. that's half of a year of my life being spent with someone i have no romantic feelings for." she replied, trying to get her friend to understand her reasonings. "not to mention the amount of paperwork i'd have to go through."

the head girl huffed, admitting to herself that she had made good points. she spoke again, this time a lot softer, drawing her into her, "black really needs this."

"he's been living at the potter's after leaving home and if he does get this; he and his brother could get a flat where they'd finally be free from that terrible place," she said slowly, "well at least i think that's why he's planning on doing this. he never told me why exactly, just that he wanted to scam his family."

"i don't think he'd ever tell me the real reason as to why he wants to do this but he doesn't owe me the truth." it was clear that she cared for him, lily's heart was too big for her own good.

"fine, i'll think about it," she muttered, defeated.

lily gave her look, one of disapproval. "you've been saying that ever since you found out about the plan. you don't expect me to believe you when you say it now do you?"

"okay, well i promise that i'd think about it for real this time, is that good for you?"

"it's more than good." she smiled happily.

it was a week later and she had kept her promise to lily, thinking over every possible outcome of what could be the results on the marriage would be:

1. they get married, everything goes according to plan, they get divorce, she becomes a millionaire.

or 2. they get married, the promise of money was fake, she was stuck with him for the rest of her life.

or 3. they get married, everything goes according to plan, she catches feelings for him, she becomes a millionaire with the desire of a man she cannot have.

but maybe that was her dwelling on the negative, not everything is always bad. right?

right?

her eyes scanned the corridor, looking between the crowds of students who were making their way back to their common room after a day of lessons for a group of four rowdy boys. after spotting them, she held onto her bag's strap, ensuring that they won't move when she made her way through the bustling crowd.

with a call of his name, black turned; halting his step as he waited for her to catch up. his friends stood beside him with a curious look. "i thought i'd never see you again," he said with a smile, "you've been ignoring me like the plague."

"you are the plague," she retorted, "if i stayed close to you for long enough you're narcissism will rub off on me." sirius only chuckled, knowing that her comment was light hearted. he looked down at her, meeting eye to eye; silently prompting her to talk about why she decided to call after him. "i thought about it."

to that his grey eyes lit up with recognition, now awaiting the answer that she'd give him whether it be bad or good. "and i thought why not? a million galleons to babysit a gryffindor is an easy pay."

sirius grinned. "great."

"great," she repeated awkwardly, "although i'd have to talk to my parents about it first. i wouldn't want to deal with them if they found out i had eloped."

"it's a good thing i already talked to them then," he said, his smile getting wider when her face dropped. "you what?"

"i knew that you'd need your parents approval so i reached out to them," he spoke while he started leading the way towards the great hall, "they like me."

"black when did you talk to them?" she asked him urgently, why hadn't anyone from her family reached out to her about this? were they planning on leaving her in the dark?

"when i asked you to think about it."

"after you left for your common room i wrote them a letter, your mother agreed to meet me and we talked it through," he added easily, "i of course told her it was because i'm in love with you and wanted nothing more than for you to be mine —keeping the lie going, you know? she told me to talk about it with you but i already did, i just needed an answer from you."

"and now that i've got it. i just need our parents to finalize our betrothal." he finished his words, meeting her gaze.

she shook her head, not believing him. "how did you even find out where they live? i've never once told you where i live."

"i just told the owl to find mister or missus [l/name], it was a simple as that." there was an air of obviousness to his tone, as if she should've figured it out by now but he still answered her anyways. "now can we have dinner? i'm starving."

•••

the words about sirius black and [f/name]'s engagement spread fast. hell, it has barely been three days before a fourth year approached her, asking her if the rumors were true before they sobbed at her answers. their nightmares was coming true.

sirius black was no longer single.

the rumors were okay for the most part, for it was true yet it brought her nothing but an unsettling feeling when she heard her name being whispered in the hallways. even now, as she was sitting at her house's table; barely paying attention to her friend's playful banter did the gossip follow her.

"have you selected a date yet?" avril asked, buttering her toast while she looked at her friend. "yup, his mother wanted a summer wedding, august to be specific. pure-blood accustoms or something," she replied with mild interest, stirring her tea. avril frowned. "it's your wedding, shouldn't you be the one making the decisions?"

"you'd think so," she retorted, lifting her mug to her lips, "but his mum's a nasty witch." she took a sip of her tea before placing it back down on the table. "we met her this weekend where she told us her plans for our wedding."

"she also gave me the black family's engagement ring," she added, lifting her left hand up. on the ring finger laid a dainty silver band that resembled a serpent of sort with a green diamond on top. it was no where near the traditional muggle engagement ring but it was beautiful in its own way. "it's an heirloom and to be completely honest i'm scared wearing it. what if i turned into you know who or something?"

avril laughed good-naturedly, amused by the situation. "honestly, a million galleons would not be enough for me to get involved with the blacks."

"well i've already bought the ticket and there's no turning back now." she shrugged, dropping her eyes to the table. "plus, sirius is actually a decent person to keep around."

"really?" she asked testingly, chewing on her toast.

"really." she nodded. "we have astronomy together and he's incredibly useful. black knows everything about it since his family are named after them. i think he's growing on me." she added. "although every time i remember i'm technically his investment, i second guess that idea."

"what do you mean you second guess that idea?," cut in eric, a ravenclaw who was dragged into their small friend group by avril. "who wouldn't want to marry a man who calls you an investment."

she opened her mouth, a sarcastic remark at the tip of her tongue when the owls flew into the great hall in one large flock; instantly heading towards their respective owner. she hadn't expected any mails today, she was all caught up with the wedding plans along with the letters from her family. so imagine her surprise when one of the many owls soared down, perching on the table in front of her, waiting with a wrapped parcel between its feet.

her eyes raised to meet her friend's curious ones, all of them wondering what's within the wrappings and most importantly who it was from. she hesitated, unsure whether she should take the package from the owl. with a prod from eric, she reached out; untying the parcel from the owl.

the owl flew away immediately, retreating to the crowd of birds. it didn't take long for her to realize what it was, "flowers."

"they're flowers," she repeated, holding up the arrangements for her friend to see, "they're really pretty." she added, biting back a smile. helga, it felt good getting flowers.

"who's it from?" avril asked excitedly.

she looked down, there was card tied to the strings of the bouquet, "black."

"oh," eric muttered, "of course he did, he's your fiancé after all."

"yeah, but it's not why he got it for me," she said, staring down at the card, "it's a thank you gift for dealing with his mother." she giggled, she separated the card from the strings before handing it over to her friend, "here look."

i know my mother is a bitch, thank you for talking to her. you made her tolerable.

- sirius black

now if she remembered correctly, the gryffindor table was seated to her right. with that knowledge in mind, she turned; wanting to thank black for his gift only to find him —coincidentally, sitting with his back to her. she poked at his shoulder, trying to steal his attention from his friend.

he turned reluctantly, looking (maybe more than) a tad bit annoyed only for his eyes to soften when he realized it was her. it took him another second to realize what she was holding before he said, "i see you've got the flowers."

"i did." she smiled, an action that he quickly copied. "i also got your message."

"i knew you would."

of course he would. "right." there was an air of awkwardness that she couldn't quite explain. "well thank you for this, it's lovely sirius."

his smile widened. she wasn't sure why it widened but she was incredibly grateful for it. how could one person's smile be so breathtaking?

"it's no problem. i'm glad you like it my love."

•••

"good evening." an unexpected greeting came, making me her jump from her spot. she looked up from her bed, only to find the source of the voice smirking down at her in amusement. "did i surprise you darling?"

it was pretty evident that his sudden presence startled her. "of course you did dumbass. who even let you in here? i could've been naked!"

"but you aren't," he quipped smugly.

"i could've been!"

"and yet you aren't."

"you're impossible," she grumbled, "are you going to tell me how you got here or not?"

"how i got into your dorm?" he asked, still standing by her bed.

"where else?!" she replied, sitting up and shuffling her blankets away. despite her hostile tone, she made space for him to sit down, patting it slightly to indicate that he could sit if he wanted to. sirius gladly accepted the offer, making himself comfortable while he thought of an answer. "well?"

"i just told the first years i was your fiancé." he shrugged, his smirk still prominent. "they didn't even think to hesitate."

"of course they won't, you're you," she retorted, looking into his eyes. "are you going to tell me why you're here then?"

"what? i can't just come to see you because i missed you? you're my bride to be after all," he teased playfully, holding her gaze.

"no," she smiled unkindly at him, "you can not. now will you tell me why you're really here?"

"alright," he huffed, for a brief second she thought she saw his shoulders deflate, but he was quick to recover, asking her, "you know tomorrow is a hogsmeade weekend don't you?"

at her nod, he continued, "well i wanted you to meet my brother."

"regulus?" she asked dumbfoundedly, brows furrowing together. "why?"

"i uhm-" he stuttered, seeming embarrassed? that was unlike him. "-i wanted you two to approve of each other."

"hmm?" she hummed to signal that she was listening while also simultaneously prompting him to go on.

"i wanted regulus to meet you, and like you and i also wanted you to meet him —and like him." he explained, breaking eye contact to stare at his hand sheepishly. "i want my brother to like you since we're going to get married and all that."

"sirius," she started attentively, "he doesn't need to like me, our marriage is fake remember? it'll be over in a blink of an eye, i'm just trying to help you out."

"yeah, i know that," he said frustratingly. "still, he's my brother, he is important to me; and despite him already knowing that our marriage is a false one, i want the two of you to like each other."

she considered his words. eric will throw a tantrum when he finds out about this. "alright, what time shall we meet?"

•••

maybe running down the stairs of the entrance hall at full speed wasn't the best idea but she was late and sometimes being late justify being a menace to everyone surrounding her. sometimes.

if that sometimes is being late to meet your soon to be husband's brother of course, one that you desperately needed approval from. one who has been waiting for your arrival with his brother for —atleast 15 minutes now. she felt incredibly sorry for making them wait but honestly, it wasn't her fault her hair decided not to cooperate with her this morning.

she wanted to look her best for them, first impressions matter after all. what would it say about her if she should up with frizzy hair that stuck out in every direction possible.

"there you are!" sirius exclaimed, approaching her the moment he spotted her, "c'mon the carriage's leaving, let's not be late."

listening to his words, she did what she was told, following him and his brother into an empty carriage. "i'm so sorry for making you wait, i didn't mean to, i was getting ready and before i knew it i lost track of time-"

"it's okay," regulus cut in, his eyes scanning her every expression. "we weren't waiting that long," he added, trying to reassure her, "the carriage was already planning on leaving when we got there so we technically only waited mere minutes."

fuck, he's charming. "i'm regulus black, you must be [name]?"

"i am, it's nice to finally meet you." she smiled, offering him her hand. she should've expected it, really she should've, with him being from an aristocratic family and all but regulus lifting her hand to press a gentle kiss on it still stunned her. she cleared her throat, "sirius has told me quite a lot about you."

"he has? and here i thought he was ashamed of me." he arched an eyebrow, whether he was teasing her or being genuine she could not tell.

"how could he possibly be ashamed of you, he's not even ashamed of himself." at that regulus chuckled, his smile no different from sirius'.

sirius rolled his eyes, watching their playful interaction with a small satisfied smile on his face. "i'm glad that the both of you can bond over bullying me," he said as the carriage pulled to a stop, "it's good to know that both my brother and fiancée thinks so highly of me."

sirius got out first, helping her get down from the carriage as best as he could. the three of them made their way to the three broomsticks, wanting a comfortable place where they could sit and chat their heads off.

seeing the black brothers in their natural habitat was entertaining. they were similar in many ways, from the way they talk to the way they carried themself and yet they were so different. sirius preferred to talk and make outward jokes while regulus listened, mumbling sarcastic remarks that had you smiling to yourself at how cheeky it was.

sirius had a habit —she was quick to note— of glancing down at regulus' left arm, a worried look always took place when he did so but he was swift in changing his expression. replacing it with a neutral one whenever he caught himself doing so.

regulus was as great company as his brother, charming, and fascinating to a certain extent.

they spent a large majority of their time talking. all of different topics ranging from quidditch to their favorite subject until regulus dropped his eyes to the table where her hand laid, playing with a napkin. "i see mother gave you her ring?"

"yes, she did," she said, her ring finger suddenly feeling heavy, "it's beautiful."

"it doesn't look very you," sirius joined in, pointing out the obvious. "it's still beautiful sirius, it doesn't need to be very me." his brow furrowed, countering, "but that's not good enough, it's your engagement ring after all."

"in case you've forgotten, i'm marrying you for your money, as of right now i'm the definition of a gold digger," she reminded him with a small smile, "an engagement ring being very me is the least of my concerns."

at that sirius frowned, dropping the topic. regulus stifled a laugh, the corners of his lips curving upwards. "has mother took you dress shopping yet?" he then asked with interest.

"no," she answered, "my mother wanted me to pick a dress of my own, your mother didn't like that idea very much. long story short i have the freedom to pick out whichever dress i want."

regulus pursed his lips, thinking. "i'm glad to hear that. i know mother is exhausting to deal with, i hope you find exactly what you're looking for."

"thank you regulus." the door bell rang to signify someone's entrance, the said boy turned, spotting a girl standing by the door before turning back towards his brother; pink creeping onto his cheeks. "is that her?"

he nodded sheepishly. "we'll leave you to it then," she said, standing up from their booth; she grabbed onto sirius wrist, smirking down at him in hopes that he knew of her plan. sirius got the memo, holding onto her hand before briskly bidding his brother goodbye. "do you think they'll end up getting married to scam your family like us?"

sirius laughed as the pair left the inn, walking down the streets that were so fond of. "probably not. i don't think he has it in he."

"i didn't think i had it in me to marry someone for his money at 17 either but here i am," she replied sarcastically, looking up at him. it was then did she realized that they were holding hands, she hesitated; not sure whether to pull away or to keep holding onto him. his hand was warm, it felt nice.

sirius, as if he had read her mind decided to squeeze it reassuringly. "can i take you somewhere?"

"hmm?"

"there's a shop around the corner," he said, maintaining eye contact, "can i get you something from there?"

"oh sirius you don't need to get me anything-"

"i know i don't need to," he cut in softly, "i want to. so i can please take you there?"

she thought about it briefly, knowing full well that her answer would be yes because who was she to deny him anything. "what is it that you wanted to get me?"

sirius broke into a smile, turning to lead the way. "do you remember how i said that the ring wasn't very you?"

"the thing you said barely 10 minutes ago? yes i do."

"good," he muttered, turning the corner, his grip on her hand never once faltering, "because i want to get you want that actually does feel like you."

"sirius i already told you it doesn't matter, you've already bought me flowers and that's more than i could ask for."

sirius paused for a split second, pursing his lips. "look, if i don't get this for you then how would people know you're mine? that ring is no where good enough for you," he questioned, leading them into the store. he held the door open, smiling at the shop's clerk who was ecstatic to see a customer. "just think of this as my thank you for marrying me gift."

"i don't think that's real thing sirius," she said, stilling besides him as he looked at the different rings the employee had put on show.

"it doesn't need to be real if it's what is needed in order for me to spoil you," he muttered in return, his full focus on studying the different rings. finally he picked out one he thought best resembled her. sirius took off his mother's ring, placing it in his pocket and slipped the new ring on her finger. "what do you think?"

"i think it's beautiful."

"i can't really take that as an answer love, you also said that about dear mother's ring."

"fine, i think it's magnificent. i love it sirius." she smiled, eyes glancing between him and ring.

"it's perfect then," he muttered, taking it off and handing it to the clerk for it to be sized. "that will be  our engagement ring."

it was later on that night, with avril and eric passed out on her bed after discussing their outfit plans for her wedding did she opened up the box that contained the new ring.

she lifted it out, examining it when something caught her eyes. engraved into the back of the ring wrote: yours S.B

•••

avril loved throwing parties, she loved plying people with food and making sure they were enjoying their time, she loved gathering her friends round a circle to play silly games that captured the true essence of adolescent. avril loved everything that one could love about parties.

so when she told her friends that she wanted to throw one in the hufflepuff's common room it was in their nature to help out. it was sunday, dinner had just finished and the common room was empty, each person in their own respective dorms getting ready when eric and [name] made their journey out, heading towards the kitchens for as much snacks as they could gather.

facing the broad stone basement corridor, it brightly lit and decorated with food-themed paintings, she reached out to tickle the pear on the painting. the  pear giggled, turning itself into a large green door handle that revealed the entrance. she took the first step, entering the kitchens with eric behind her.

"what are you doing here?"

her eyes widened, not expecting anyone besides herself and eric to be in the kitchens at this time. "i could ask you the same thing sirius."

"i asked you first."

she turned, briefly looking at eric for help but her effort was to no avail, the ravenclaw was as at a loss for words as she was. "i'm here to grab some snacks, we're throwing a party and it would a pretty shitty one without any food."

"oh," he muttered, "no wonder you look so pretty."

"you're wearing the ring," sirius pointed out after minute, gesturing towards her finger. was all conversations between two people who would be married to one another always this strained?

"i am," she said, looking down towards the ring, "how could i not? you bought it for me."

there was the silence again; her, eric, sirius and his friends all awkwardly glancing at one another. "oh! uhm- eric this is sirius, my fiancé and sirius this is eric, my friend."

"nice to meet you," sirius smiled, offering him a hand. eric hesitated, eyes drifting towards to her direction, she tilted her head slightly, an action he took as cue to accept sirius hand.

eric shooked it, smiling in return when he spoke, "i know she's marrying you for your money." sirius smiled dropped, slightly taken aback when eric added, "i'm sure potter knows it too, doesn't he?"

in truth potter did know, sensing by the way his shoulder tensed up at the pretense of him knowing. eric had a weird way of wording things, making everything seems hostile when it wasn't supposed to be. helga, why does men have to make everything so hard?

"eric you can grab the cheesecake?" she asked, making their attention shift to her, "i need to have a word with sirius about the wedding, then i'll grab the punch and meet you back outside."

"i'll see you in a bit." after she waved her friend off, she grabbed onto sirius' arm, pulling him towards a secluded spot where his friends wouldn't be able to eavesdrop on their conversation. she looked at him hesitatingly, studying his expression before asking, "are you mad at me?"

sirius frowned, furrowing his brows in concern. "no," he answered, "why would i be mad at you?"

"i dunno." he was taller than her, having to look down in order for their eyes to meet. "i just thought that maybe eric had said something to upset you."

"he's a bit... straight forward, no subtlety whatsoever," she added, "also a little untrusting at first but he's very kind, he's a great guy." the way his gaze hardened at her words, turning from attentive to resentful didn't go unnoticed by her. is he sure he's not mad at her?

"i'm not mad at you," sirius said softly, consoling her, "nor am i mad at your friend."

"then why do you seem so uneasy? especially when you're with your friends? you're never like that."

sirius pursed his lips, thinking. "because," he started, a smile tugging on his lips, "you look very pretty, and i just happen to not know how to act around pretty people."

she scoffed, rolling her eyes despite feeling her cheeks flush at his words. "right, of course."

"love, i'm being serious!"

"of course you are you're sirius!"

"hey! i'm being truthful here," he argued, chuckling slightly, seeing her flustered over a compliment had to be his new favorite thing. "you look as pretty as a picture."

she smiled, brushing it off. "that's sweet of you to say." noting how his eyes was lingering onto her every movement. "but you're still not welcomed to the party."

sirius laughed, throwing his head back at the lame joke she made. his words was never meant to be anything more than praise, wanting her to know just how breathtaking he thought she looked. "that's a shame, i was looking forward to get a taste of that cheesecake."

"better luck next time," she said, biting her lips. "i think i should go now."

"i think so too," he replied after composing himself, still smiling down at her due to their height differences. "it's unfair to keep my darling away from them for too long."

she watched as he took a calculated step forward, bringing the front of their shoes to contact. staring up at him, she felt her breath get caught in her throat.

leaning down abruptly, sirius pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead; her eyes fluttering shut at the warm contact. he stepped back then, he smiled once more, "invite me next time, won't you?"

•••

next time came in the form of a gryffindor party instead. it was james potter's birthday and it would be an understatement to say that the marauders went all out. despite the party being a "secret", the room of requirement was packed with students from every house that is cool enough to join an inter-house party.

upon arrival she was quick to spot regulus, introducing him to avril and eric who he both charmed his ways with them. eric and regulus, both cut-throat people bonded easily, making good natured jokes about how big of a mistake it was that she chose to marry sirius. eventually the slytherin led them to the life of the party.

"[name]!" james cheered excitedly, walking towards her with open arms, his face flushed. she returned his hug, turning towards his friend with a confused look only to receive chuckles from them. pulling away james grinned at her, slurring "i'm so happy you're here!"

right, he's drunk. "and i'm so happy to be here james," she replied, making him his smile stretch out even wider. "although i'm not too late am i? it seems like i missed out on the fun."

"oh no don't worry," lily shook her head, answering for him, "he just wanted to be that shit faced drunk person of every party."

"ah," she nodded in acknowledgment. "oh, uhm- i hope you don't mind, i brought some friends?"

"no it's okay, the more the merrier," lily smiled kindly, taking one look at them before noting, "eric from potions and avril from care of magical creatures."

"weird way to identify me but i've been called worse," avril said light-heartedly, earning smiles from their small group. "now, would you be kind enough to show me where the booze is?"

"it's just right around the corner, i can get some for you actually," lily offered, being the good host that she is, "[name], peter, would you mind helping me?"

"oh," she muttered not expecting herself to be mentioned. "no i don't," she smiled, taking the hand that lily offered and following off behind her.

"so," avril started, turning to sirius, "she looks great doesn't she?"

sirius nodded, not thinking much about his actions. she really did look beautiful tonight, although —if he really thought about it— there wasn't a day where he didn't think she wasn't good-looking.

"you like her don't you?"

remus, with his curiosity now piqued, dropped his head, leaning down to hear their conversation over the loud music. regulus doing the same, finding the topic of his brother's real love-life intriguing. "yeah pads," remus started tauntingly, "you fancy her don't you?"

"i hate you did you know that?"

"avoidance is not an answer black," eric commented with a small smirk, "if you fancy her just say it."

"i don't," sirius stated, his tone now on edge, "i mean it, i only care for her as a friend and nothing more."

it was the truth, as of right now he thought of her as a friend that just had some extra steps to it. she was kind and pretty but so was lily and regulus' new girlfriend but that didn't mean he was attracted to them. really, whether they want to believe it or not, sirius could be friends with a woman and not be in love with them.

"are you sure princess?" eric added, provoking him. sirius rolled his eyes, now used to the (for the lack of better words) asshole demeanor that eric had. "alright, i'll leave you to it," he said with a condescending smile, "but just so you know, [name] is the shit faced drunk at every party."

"and potter does not stand a chance at taking that position from her."

"speaking of the devil," avril murmured, breaking apart from their small group to welcome the two girls with open arms, refusing the spiked punch that lily offered for a shot of firewhisky that she immediately downed when her friend handed it to her. "you know me so well."

"i'm really the best aren't i?" she joked, turning towards sirius; she smiled up at him, an action that he copied and handed him a shot of firewhisky as well. sirius shook his head, opting on a butterbeer that peter handed him. "you're not drinking?"

"i'm not," he replied, taking a sip that resulted in foam being stuck on his upper lip. she frowned, disappointed, "why not? it's your best mate's birthday!" sirius only stuck with his decision, deciding to stay sober so he could take care of james whilst lily had her fun. "don't worry darling, i know how to have fun without getting drunk."

"what a shame, i brought these with me for nothing," she said, staring down at the three shot cups between her finger, "well i better not waste it then."

and with that she downed one, grimacing at the taste right after. she held another shot for remus who took it with a polite smile; the pair cheered, drinking the shots, for the party has officially started.

"pads," came james, pouting, "mate my throats dry," he complained, eyes going heavy. "will you be so kind to grab me a cup of water?"

from the corner of his eyes sirius spied lily talking to some of her friends, seeming just the slightest bit under the influence. "sod off prongs, go find your girlfriend."

at the other side of the room was [name]. the alcohol had hit her about an hour after her initial shots, drunkenly laughing at every joke that remus made as the two of them found themselves to be partners in drunken crime. remus chuckled, throwing his head back with a punch still in his hand, she sat besides him, listening to the story he was telling with a small smile.

"honestly, at one point during fourth year i had considered starting a hogwarts protection group from those two maniacs," the brunette said, incredulous by how stupid his fourteen year olds idea was. "i was part of the pranks too but still."

she only snorted, finding everything funny in her current inebriated state. as she opened her mouth, ready to tell him a funny story of her own sirius approached, a cup of water in hands. "hullo dear husband."

"hello," he greeted in return, handing her the cup of water, "i think you've had enough my love," he said patiently, ignoring the cringed looks that remus was sending him. "drink this so you won't feel so hung over tomorrow morning."

"sirius if i can handle getting married to you then i can handle being hung over on a tuesday." despite her comment, she drank the water anyways. alcohol sure does make your throat dry out. "you know you don't look like you're having too much fun."

"i don't?"

"you don't," she said, getting onto her feet to face him eye to eye. she placed a hand on his shoulder to steady herself, looking at him with an intoxicated gaze. pulling her hand away, she exclaimed enthusiastically, "anyways, me and remus are going to dance, have fun being sober!"

and with that she left, hand pulling at remus so the lanky boy would follow after her. sirius' eyes trailed after them, noting how they both were bad dancers and yet did not seem to be stopping anytime soon. it wasn't long until eric, tipsy enough to be nice to anyone other than avril and [name], dragged sirius onto the dance floor as well.

she found her way to him, smiling as she moved badly to the beat. she said something that she couldn't quite hear; sirius leaned down, his ear close to her mouth, ensuring that he could hear her over the loud music. with a drunken giggle, she told him, "you're so handsome."

he pulled back to his full height, looking at her with amusement. "thank you chérie, 'preciate it."

•••

"do you still think i'm handsome?"

"shut up," she scowled, ignoring the delighted look that sirius had from eliciting such response. "i don't want to deal with you right now."

"why not? you thought i was handsome last night and now you suddenly despise me?" he teased quietly, not wanting to distract other people with their conversation.

"sirius i'm too hungover for this right now," she said, trying to keep her eyes straight at the board. oh how she missed the days where avril was sat beside her. "and if you say something along the line of i told you so, i will hex you into oblivion."

sirius bit his lips, holding back his tongue from stating that he did warn her about this. instead he commented, "you know i think i like you a lot better when you're drunk."

"and i like you better when you don't speak but we both can't have what we want now can we?"

"actually," sirius said matter-of-factly, "i've already gotten what i wanted."

"and what's that?"

"you."

"not the drunk you but having you is good enough for me," he clarified, "but i can always count on avril to bring out my favorite version of you-"

sirius continued to talk, but no sounds came out. don't you just love the silencio charm? she patted his thigh, causing him to pause in order to look at her. she smiled at him kindly, her expression the direct opposite of her next words. "you are so annoying right now."

•••

"your mother picks the worst time for us to meet her," she said, not once bothering to greet him. maybe he was rubbing off on her. "i mean seriously, couldn't she have planned to see the venue on a hogsmeade weekend."

she closed the hufflepuff's door behind her, walking to his side. sirius shifted his weight off of the pillar he was waiting for her at and started leading the way, "i've just had a long day of school and now i have to be nice to her. no offense boys, but i hate your mother."

regulus let out a small laugh, smiling at her words. "no offense taken [name], we hate her too."

"good," she said cheekily, "i'm glad we have that in common."

they made their way up to the great hall, then up again towards their usual passage beneath the one-eyed witch statue by the stairs. sirius tapped the hump with his wand, muttering a quiet dissendium. the witch's hump open just wide enough for a person to slide down to the hidden passageway.

sirius went through first, pushing his way up into honey duke, regulus followed soon after, leaving her last. with help from sirius, she climbed up the ladder, shutting the trap door below her.

sirius helped her make her way out of honey dukes and into the streets of hogsmeade. after reaching their destination, a spot that allowed for them to apparate, he let go off her hand, knowing that she (like him) was legal and could apparate on their own while regulus on the other hand. their unofficial adopted child, could not.

regulus, now used to being babied whenever he traveled with the couple made his way between them, letting sirius throw his arm around his shoulder while [name] slipped her arm around his waist. with a flick of both their wands, their small group landed in a secluded alley way where their wedding venue would be held.

the pair let go off him, heading towards one another and —as of muscle memory— interlocked their fingers, holding hands like they always did when they were to fake their relationship. the three walked, pushing pass the grand door and quickly spotting both walburga and her mother.

it was the second week of june, the finals had passed,  their NEWTs were completed. it was two weeks before the school year ended and roughly two months away from their wedding. it would be a lie if she said she wasn't nervous, she was, of course she was. marriage was a scary thing —especially when you're marrying into a family with old money who also simultaneously praises dark magic.

"mother," sirius said with a small bow, greeting her as politely as he could. "and missus [l/name], you look as gorgeous as ever."

her mother smiled, dismissing his compliment with a wave of her hand. "no need to flatter me, i've already approved of you sirius."

he smiled, feeling proud of himself for some reason he couldn't pin point. walburga coughed, causing the other four people to turn to her, giving them her full attention. by her side stood a short women with short blond hair, "shall we get started?"

the five followed her through a path that she had prepared, using magic to help visualize the venue the way both mothers wanted it. there was a hall that led into the main ballroom, its ceiling high with fancy chandeliers. her mum who had wanted a more natured feel to their wedding, asked if the person who was showing the venue, andria, could incorporate plants to the walls.

andria followed through her request, and within a flick of her wand the walls were lined up with vines, the ground spilling with purple flowers that made a satisfied smile find its way onto her mother's lips. andria then added a gate for a dramatic flair, making the hall seemed ethereal in its own way.

"this is nice," sirius murmured just loud enough for her to hear. she turned her eyes away from the various plants to him, finding him already looking back at her. "it is."

they then moved towards the ballroom, with it already being set up due to walburga's perfectionist personality; the couple stood in awe. this would've been the wedding of their dreams had they been actually in love.

looking down the isle, she found herself drifting off for a second, imagining her friends waiting by her side while her husband stood happily by his. softly she muttered, knowing that sirius could hear her despite how quiet her words was, "do you think you could cry when i walk down that isle?"

sirius watched her, considering her words for a moment, "do you want me to?"

"yeah..." she trailed off, tearing her eyes away from the isle to look at him. "i mean i bought a beautiful dress so you better cry, if not then i might just have to cancel the wedding right then and there."

sirius let out a small laugh, finding her request incredulous. "okay, i'll try then."

"thank you."

"it's no problem, i'll try anything for you."

•••

the school year ended, the pair passing the NEWTs with flying colors and now the only thing they had to worry about was the wedding.

during the first week after their graduation sirius had invited her to stay at his place, an offer that she was quick to decline. her mother was a pain to deal with on a monthly basis already, let alone having to live with her for as long as it took until their wedding came.

instead she agreed to come by his place, keep him company all the whilst plan out the final details of the wedding. after coming over for half of july she had grown quite used to his spacious room, with its many plastered posters and pictures that left only little of the walls' silvery-grey silk visible.

now she sat, kicked back on his bed while sirius stood ranting, filling her in on everything his mother had said when she was absent. she thought of anything and everything she could say to reassure him. after a while she stopped him, patting the empty spot besides her for him to take.

for a moment she remembered just how close they were now, not even a year ago she was denying him a seat at her table and now she sat comfortably on his bed as if it was of her own. "do you want me to fight her for you?"

"what?" sirius cracked out a smile.

"she's you know- she's the most unloving, conservative woman i've ever met," she confessed, "but i suppose being married to your cousin does that to you."

sirius chuckled, feeling slightly better by listening to her shit talk his mother. god he hated that woman. "[name], you're absolutely amazing but her being inbred was so unnecessary to bring up."

"like you have a say in this sirius." she gave him a look that he knew was her ridiculing him, causing him to grin. "you're a product of their work."

sirius cringed, feeling disgusted by her insinuation. he then cleared his throat, remembering why he had invited her over in the first place. turning serious, he said carefully, "there's something i've been wanting to ask you."

"what is it?" she prompted him, letting him know that she was listening and for him continue on with his words.

"can i kiss you?"

and before sirius knew it, he was rambling, "for when they announce us as man and wife i just- i wanted to know if you were okay with it before it's time and i kiss you without you being fine with it, i don't want to make you uncomfortable, you've already done so much for me-"

"you can." she cut him off with a small smile, one that brought him nothing but comfort. "it's okay sirius, you can kiss me."

"thank you for asking," she added after a minute.

sirius gazed at her, a small smile breaking onto his face. his eyes glancing down to her lips then back up to her eyes. he knew that she was watching him, watching how his eyes were lingering onto her lips like a tattoo kiss.

there was a cough by the door, making them both turn their attention to it. regulus stood awkwardly, shifting his weight; with his eyes wide, he spoke, "mother sent me."

"she wanted me to make sure that you guys weren't-" regulus let out another cough "-having sex."

•••

august seventh came sooner than she would've liked, maybe it was for the better, having it be over sooner. or maybe it was for the worse, not having been ready to see herself settle down yet. but she knew —despite her doubts— that the show must go on. keeping an even head she breathe in, feeling the air in her lungs before letting it go. it was time.

"are you ready?" eric asked, helping make last adjustments to her wedding dress. "no." she huffed honestly, hearing the orchestra music begin even behind the large door. eric smiled softly at her, letting her father come to her side, "well it's too late now."

she took a deep breath, the doors opening on its on accord in a dramatic manner. charmed rose petals pelted at her feet as she took her steps forward. she  took a moment to look around at who was gathered, and where, but she barely recognized them. a large majority of the people were ones who came to honor the noble house of black name's while the other half were distant family and friends that her mother had invited.

down the isle sirius stood, james, regulus, remus, and peter by his side. watching her walk with clouded eyes, she beamed at him, playing with the bouquet in her hands. when she arrived in front of him she noticed his watery grey eyes. as quietly as she could, she commented, "you're crying."

"i am," he said, agreeing. "i told you i'd try anything for you."

the music cut out, the ceremony was starting. the pair shared cheeky smiles as they listened to the officiant drone on and on, following the normal wedding procedures until it was time for them to recite their vows.

"with this hand i will lift your sorrows. your cup will never be empty, for i will be your wine. with this candle, i will light your way into darkness. with this ring, i ask you to be mine."

sirius slipped a golden band around her finger first, her repeating his actions not long after. sirius stepped forward, his shoes touching her's. leaning down slightly, he pressed his lips onto her, his right arm finding its way on her waist and tugging her ever closer to him.

his cheeks were wet, presumably from the tears he had had. she kissed back, melting underneath his touch. sirius smiles into the kiss, a feeling that she knew she'd never forget. the kiss breaks: her pulling away from him, feeling flustered. and then it was official, they were married, this was just the beginning of the end.

•••

"where should we go for our honeymoon?" she asked suddenly, surprising sirius. they were once again in his room, this time alone, the door close with no regulus standing by to make sure they weren't up to something. "since we're married and all now, i think i deserve a break."

sirius thought for a second, laying down on the cold hard wood floor, a place that he somehow had found solace in. "we have a home in paris if you want to go."

"paris sounds nice," she mumbled. her gown was still on her, having come to his room immediately after the recessionals. she was to live with him now, husband and wife after all. staying with sirius, in his room, alone, for roughly a month, won't be so bad. will it?

"it does," he concurred, "do you want to go?"

"maybe," she said, unsure. "gosh this is awkward."

"what's awkward?" he asked, looking puzzled. from his position on the floor, his eyes searched for her. finding her on his bed, sat with her knees pressed to her chest, looking down at him.

"us right now." she answered, straightening out her legs. he frowned then, even more confused. "the people who attended probably thinks we're going at it right now but we're sat here talking about paris."

"we can go at it if you want," sirius said, sitting up. at the roll of her eyes, he smirked, "i'm not denying you anything, it seems as though i can not."

she threw a pillow at him, one that he expertly caught with one hand. she felt her neck heating up, whether it was from the drinks she had or his words she could not tell. "you're insufferable you know that?"

"i'm anything you want me to be my love."

"stop it or i'll punch you in the throat," she warned. watching as he stood up from his spot and made his way to the empty side of the bed, sirius laid down, inching himself closer to her every second. "are you... trying to seduce me right now?"

"maybe," he murmured, finally landing his head on her thighs, the tool of her dress providing him a sense of cushion. "is it working?"

"no," she answered, giving him a smile that was meant to ridicule him but all it did was make his smirk grow more narcissistic.

"why did you never join the quidditch team?" her hand found it's way into his hair, twisting round the onyx curls. "you were really good at it you know? i saw you sub in during james' practices."

sirius shut his eyes, leaning into her touch when her hand landed on his scalp, scratching it lightly. "i didn't want to compete."

"with who?"

"regulus," he answered softly, "we weren't on good terms when he joined the team and i could not bring myself to handle seeing him. especially not during a time where we were to compete for who would be greater."

"oh." her hands paused its movements on its own accord. "i never thought of it like that."

she thought about him?

"well i also never thought of us going at it until you mentioned it minutes ago," he retorted, earning himself a slap on the arm. good godric, he loved drunk [name]. "the offers still stands you know?"

"baby i wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth."

sirius cheeks grew pink at her choice of nickname, never once in their roughly eight months long relationship had she called him anything but sirius or black. she noticed it, smiling when she leaned down to face him. "you like being called baby don't you?"

and —for the first and last time ever, sirius told her to, "shut up."

•••

"the man has mummy issues, of course he likes being called baby," eric scoffed. avril laughed, joking at the expense of her friend's husband. "i wouldn't be surprised if he lets you boss him around in bed."

"alright that's enough," she stopped him, hiding a smile. "my lack of sex life should not be the topic of today's conversation. lily here is literally getting married."

"no, no," lily protested, dismissing the topic change, "i'm more fascinated about you and sirius than james' proposal to me."

"seriously?" she asked incredulously, her eyes moving to everyone around the table for at least one person to be on her side. "i feel like i've said this way too much but in case you've forgotten, i married sirius for his money, i don't like him that way and vice versa. me and sirius haven't slept together."

"but you want to," marlene pointed out, taking a sip of her wine. helga, how did a dinner celebrating lily's engagement turn into them trying to prove that she was in love with her husband. "i can see it in your eyes."

she sigh, defeated. they weren't going to believe her words so what's the point in trying to deny it any longer. lily, seeing her expression shifted the topic, telling them about how she had already made an appointment for herself to go dress shopping and that all the ladies were invited.

the rest of dinner went on smoothly, all of them catching up with one another. spending the night switching from topics to topics, eric's love life didn't escape their conversation, being the only man in the group and all. the former ravenclaw boy had found someone who was kind to him, and from his description, the complete opposite of him but then again, they do say opposite attracts.

after bidding goodbyes, they went on their separate ways. after walking to an empty alley way with avril, she hugged her goodbye before flicking her wand, apparating herself back into sirius' room.

sirius who heard the unmistakable crack, sat up straight, wiping his eyes with his sleeves just as she noticed him hunched over on their bed. her faced turn to one of concern, standing in front of him, cautiously she asked, "what's wrong?"

"nothing," sirius answered, smiling up at her.

she frowned, taking a seat besides him. "not to be a dick but you're a terrible liar."

sirius laughed watery, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "it's just walburga, you know?"

"she did something again?" she asked, clearly not surprised by the news.

at his nod she carefully wrapped her sirius in her embrace. it was weird, hugging him, the most they've ever done was kissed and that was under the pretense of marriage. she's seen him angry, sad, frustrated, and disappointed over walburga but had never once seen him crying. she did not know how to comfort him but she sure as hell will try.

"do you want to talk about it?" she felt his head shook, feeling his tears dampening up her shirt. instinctively, she leaned down, pressing a kiss on the crown of his head. her voice was soft, whispering reassuring words in an attempt to calm him down. 

his breathe steadied enough for him to speak, sirius lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her with embarrassment. "i'm sorry."

"it's okay," she said lightly, "it's what having a wife is for right?"

there was a small smile on his lips, feeling relieved to have her presence besides him. with a small laughed, he repeated, "i'm sorry you had to see that."

giggling slightly, feeling better about how the mood having been slightly lifted, she quipped, "i don't mind it, seeing a handsome guy cry had always been in my bucket list."

sirius paused, eyes bloodshot red, "you think i'm handsome?"

"are you still sad?" she asked slowly.

"yes?"

"i always thought you were," she answered, watching him lower his eyes awkwardly, a small smile finding its way to his lips.

"what if i said no?" he questioned timidly, his voice coarse.

"the i would've lied and said you're the most mediocre looking man i've ever seen."

•••

"you and sirius looks like a couple," regulus mumbled, pushing his brother's leg over to make room on the couch.

she turned to him, the heat of sirius' hand around her waist getting warmer and warmer as she thought about her brother's in law comment. "what kind of couple?"

sirius kept quiet for a moment, gazing at her seductively.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"like what?" he said innocently, giving her his best doe eyes.

"like you're flirting with me."

"i'm flirting?" he muttered as if it was new information to him, "flirting with you?" he added, squeezing her waist, his thumb sneaking beneath her sweatshirt, pressing onto her skin. "please don't get me wrong."

"so you're not flirting with [name] right now?" lily asked from her spot on the arm chair, green eyes watching his hands placements.

"maybe i am, maybe i'm not. we're married after all, i need to keep sweeping my darling off of her feet or else she'll fall for someone else," he said smoothly, smirking at lily who then rolled her eyes at him.

over the course of the first month of their marriage, sirius had managed to open his own vault, transfer all his parents trust fund money, found a flat that deemed fit for him and his brother and found a lawyer to begin their divorce's process.

maybe it was all moving too fast but the whole situation had never been taken slowly in the first place. he had asked for her to move in with him and regulus, an offer that she didn't clearly thought through and had accepted. with the help of magic, moving was done within two days which james ended up calling for a celebration. a house party where everyone within their circle was to be invited.

"you shouldn't flirt with people that easily," she commented, stealing his attention back to her.

"and you shouldn't fall for people who flirts with you," he countered, keeping his eyes on her.

"well i didn't! i don't fall for people easily."

"you were just telling me not to flirt with you because you fell head over heels by my beauty when you saw me," he said smiling accusingly, his thumb drawing circles on her skin.

"i didn't tell you not to flirt with me."

"then what did you say?"

"don't flirt with people so easily."

sirius hummed in thoughts, his hand not once stopping it's movement. "so i can flirt with you but not other people. sounds pretty controlling." she looked at him warily, awaiting his next comments. "good thing i like a woman in charge."

"you're ridiculous," she scoffed. eric, who was sat on the floor opposing her, smirked, giving a look that she knew all too well. i was right. pushing herself up and off the couch, she gave him sirius one last look. "i'm filing for a divorce."

•••

the months went by fast, before they even knew it they were halfway through their divorce trial. sirius had filed a no-fault divorce, giving them both equal amounts of legal property. he had served her, and initiated the negotiation process. it seemed as if he was rushing to get rid of her and it would be a plain out lie if she said it didn't hurt her feelings.

"hey," sirius greeted, spotting her read on the couch the moment he entered their flat. "i got you something."

she lifted her head from her book, giving him a questioning look. an expression that sirius took as cue for him to continue.

he shrugged his jacket off, hanging it by the coat stand and dropping his keys in its pocket. he lifted the item in his hand, and made his way to sit besides her. she bookmarked her page, shutting it and giving him her full attention. "what is it?"

sirius only kept quiet, handing it to her, "open it."

she did as she was told, slowly unwrapping the package to reveal a small cake with the words happy anniversary written on it. she looked up him with surprise, smiling. "what is it for?"

"for our anniversary!" he exclaimed, pointing out the obvious.

"sirius our wedding anniversary isn't for another ten months."

"not that anniversary." he shook his head. "it's the anniversary of me sitting besides you despite you saying no."

"you remember that?" she asked with a small laugh.

"of course i remember!" he exclaimed, running a hand through his overgrown hair, "i was so nervous to talk to you."

"you were nervous to talk to me?" she followed up, settling the cake on their coffee table. "why?"

"because i thought you were cool, and i didn't know what to do since i had already asked evans for her help with the whole plan thing and i still hadn't talked to you nor was i certain you'd agree."

"you thought i was cool? and here i thought i was the only girl you were willing to invest in," she teased earning a pout from sirius. "fine fine i won't hurt your feelings today, thank you for this, sirius. i will definitely owl regulus and make fun of you about it later."

sirius lips jutted out even more, giving her his best doe eyes. "i feel like you love regulus more than you love me."

"how could i ever love regulus more than i love you," she said sarcastically. sirius faced turned to one that she could not read. curiously she asked, "what? is there something on my face?"

"no, nothing," he dismissed, still gazing at her.

"than what is it?"

"you said you can never love regulus more than you love me," he said slowly, his own grey eyes drifting between her lips and her eyes. she nodded cautiously, not wanting to overstep him. "prove it then."

"p-prove it?"

"prove it."

"prove what exactly," she said with a short lasting laugh, trying to take some of the tension off of herself.

"prove that you love me more than regulus."

she laughed, thinking that it was another one of his joke that she never fully understood but sirius remained —well, serious, keeping his eyes on her.

sirius was slow with his next action, giving her an out if she wanted it. he made sure to watch for her most minuscule movements, the last thing he wanted to do was mess this up and make her uncomfortable. sirius very casually —even though he felt as though his heart was to explode any second, leaned his head down, capturing her lips with his own.

why did he spent so long denying it when it felt so good to have her by his side he would never know. what he knew was that he liked the feel of her, liked that she was kissing him back, liked that she had seen the worst of him (and his sick family) and chose to stay, like that she was —in the most dysfunctional way possible— his.

when sirius pulled away, the first thing he noticed was how her eyes widened with fascination, which only made him fall deeper into the hole he dug for himself. "was that weird?"

she laughed, snapping out of her trance and shook her head. her hands moving on its own accord when the found its way to his cheeks, feeling weak after the chaste kiss. "no, no, it was fine. amazing even."

sirius smiled in return, feeling relieved that she seemed nowhere near mad at him. "it was okay then?"

"it was more than okay sirius," she reassured him, bringing his face forwards and pressing a kiss to his forehead before she even registered her gesture. sirius turned to the side, hiding his blushing face in her palm but his red ears was no help to his case.

sirius own hand reached up, covering her hand with his and pulled it away from his face. "we should call our lawyers."

"we should. they're not going to like this."

—from bee: i no longer support the artist i’ve chosen to name this fic after but that doesn’t change a thing,,, i still have a song for it hehe

[foolinafable]

v. i miss you, i'm sorry

SYNOPSIS: He doesn’t know how to love. You know this and yet you would still give everything just to be with him- even for just a moment. Or the story of how you and Keith finally get together. PAIRING: Keith Kogane x Altean reader WORD COUNT: 5.4k TAGS: Slowburn, Angst, extreme cannon compliance, fighting SERIES LINK: a love as cold as ours

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NOTE: edited this tipsy and with Grammarly so don't mind mistakes!

You were focusing on trying to heal Shrio's new body in hopes it would encourage it to fully accept Shiros conscious using skills you had learned from the white lion on Oriande. Not daring to look up to face the eyes of the two galrans who both watched your every move with intrigue.

Allura was also helping, trying to take off as much of the burden as her powers would allow leaving you both exhausted as the hours ticked by.

You were sat by Shiro’s body hand held up eyes closed as you tried to focus on the feeling of Shiro’s consciousness within the body trying to pull it further inwards when Allura spoke

“I’m afraid the clone’s body is rejecting Shrio’s consciousness” 

“There must be some way you can help!” Keith pleaded and it hurt you for him to sound so distressed opening your eyes to see him staring right you in despair 

“I don’t think there's anything more we can do” you confessed “I can feel him slipping away” voice hoarse as you looked away from the black paladin unable to watch his heartbreak, jumping when he banged against the glass separating you from Shiro 

“Shiro please” he begged as he banged against the glass again “Please fight!” as he began to sob making your heart clench “You can’t do this to me again” he continued when a faint coughing was heard from inside the pod you all quickly looked up at Shiro as the encasing disappeared Keith called out to him quickly when he eyes opened 

“Keith- I was dreaming” he spoke delicately in between breaths “You saved me” he confessed looking at the boy as he hugged him 

“We saved each other” Keith corrected 

You simply looked to Allura and smiled tiredly but before anything else could be said the rest of the paladins along with Coran and Romelle finally returned all looking shocked as they saw Shiro up the three paladins running towards him in glee

“Shiro’s looking better! Alright!” Lance exclaimed 

“Where were you guys? We couldn't get a hold of you?” Keith asked 

“Well, we were shrunk by a magic skunk, but we ended up using that sparkly dust that makes electricity bigger or whatever” Lance tried to explain but the five of you just looked at him confused “So ready to charge up the lions?” Lance continued clearly unphased by your lack of understanding. Shiro simply sighed before laughing to himself

 “It’s good to be back.” 

── ✧

“Why are you tired” Lance probed as he walked towards you causing you to open your eyes to look at the Cuban boy from your position lying on Shiro's metal shoulder- the only part left of his mechanic arm

“I dunno maybe it’s from saving all your arses and transferring Shiro’s conscience into a new body?” you replied dryly as Shiro rubbed your shoulder with his working hand in thanks. At the same time, you gave Lance a pointed look with a small drowsy smile on your face that made him falter in his teasing realising that you were in fact not joking, still looking a little worse for wear even after you finally healed the large gnash on your forehead from Shiro's clone.

You closed your eyes again as you felt his violet ones staring you down clearly trying to get your attention but you ignored it- what more could he possibly have to say to you? More reasons why you aren't capable you nearly scoffed at the idea but simply pursed your lips trying to feign sleep when Shrio nudged you to open your eyes as Pidge approached, she sat on the other side of Shiro when the older man questioned

“Where you able to get into contact with Earth?”

“No luck,” the smaller girl replied glumly. “The low power levels are probably affecting our broadcast distance but I'll keep trying as we get closer to Earth.” 

“I can't believe we’re finally going home” Lance admits softly looking down at the ground almost in thought

“I’m going to hug my parents and never let go.” Hunk claims as he hugs himself imaging how it would go

“I can’t wait to see how dad integrated Altean and Earth technologies together” Pidge exclaimed seemingly in a better mood just thinking of going home. You smiled at her excitement but it didn't reach your eyes as it reminded you that your home was gone and after the war was over you didn’t have a family to come home to- rather Voltron was your family. Shiro seemed able to sense your thoughts looking to you with a sad smile as he once again rubbed your shoulder with his working arm in comfort.

“And my mom” Pidge continued before stopping to think her face suddenly becoming cloudy with apprehension “She is gonna be so mad I ran away, I hope I’m not grounded” 

“How long do you think it will take us to get home?” Keith finally tired of being ignored by you turned towards Coran who was seemingly already doing the numbers in his head

“I was just calculating that now” the altean admitted “Without the luxury of a wormhole and with diminished power cores, let me see-” he started mumbling to himself “if I carry the one” staring at his fingers as he did the maths “oh, it’s going to take us 150,000 earth years,” he replied nonchalantly you quickly sat up from your position on Shiro’s shoulder as everyone gasped in shock 

“One-hundred-and-fifty earth years?!” Keith exclaimed 

“Coran, I think your finger counting is a bit off” Pidge stated “It’s going to be 1.5 years” causing everyone to groan in annoyance 

“Oh right I didn’t carry the three” Coran realised 

“Well you never said you were good at finger counting” you replied to ease the annoyance he caused in the group

“And it’s not an exact science anyways” he defended and you swore it gave you deja vu

“It's going to be a very long and difficult voyage, but It’s our only chance at replacing the Castle of lions” Allura concluded  

“There were times where I thought I would never see Earth again” Shiro admitted “To be able to go back-” 

“Well, what are we waiting for guys!” Lance quickly interrupted, “Let's hit the space road!”

“I suppose we need to figure out who’s flying with whom,” Krolia announced and she was right.

You weren't really looking forward to it. You were already so exhausted you were unsure you would be able to handle certain people for the time being and hoped that whoever ended up with you would give you some peace to recharge. 

“And what about the animals?” Coran reminded you all

“What about them?” Pidge questioned

“Well the wolf can't go with Kaltenecker, wolves eat cows and the cow can’t be in the same area as the mice because aren't cows scared of mice?”

You nodded at his words they made complete sense to you 

“No, elephants are afraid of mice.” Lance corrected 

“Elephant?” you mumbled in tired confusion

“Yeah, They’re giant grey animals with long noses that grab things,” Lance exclaimed trying to show what an elephant looked like by pinching his nose and using his other hand to act as its snout 

“Giants with long, gabbing noses? Earth seems so strange” Allura echoed your thoughts out loud what a preposterous creature that must be. 

“The wolf is riding with me” Keith decided “That means Hunk will have to take the cow” as he had the second biggest cockpit so was able to fit the cow easily.

“Me with the cow? Not a good idea” Hunk protests 

“Hunks right” Lance decides “Keith, you're keeping the cow. Someone else is gonna have to take the wolf” Everyone looked to Pidge 

“Not me. I am allergic.” 

“I’ll take the mice” Allura exclaimed clearly not wanting to take the wolf

“How come you get the smallest passengers?” Keith questioned arms crossing over each other in annoyance to which Allura just pulled a face

“I say we go old school and draw straws” Hunk decided 

“Or I can just take the wolf” you commented breathlessly honestly just wanting to get into the sky, the quicker you get going the quicker you can be left alone. 

“But I am terrible at drawing” Allura sulks causing you to laugh as Coran agrees “She really is” 

“Guys you’re all overthinking this. I know exactly where everyone should go.” Lance decides and for some reason, maybe to stop the arguing, everyone lets him place them into the ships.

── ✧

This decidedly in your opinion was the worst idea ever, why did you let Lance decide who went whereas you were stuck for who knows how long in your lion with Keith's mother- Krolia.

To say it was awkward was an understatement but you guess you got what you wanted as it was quiet. But you could cut the tension with a knife.

Clearly the woman wished to speak with you but she didn’t say a word as if she wanted you to initiate conversation. But you have no idea what to say to her.

It’s not as if you can be honest ‘oh hi Keith’s mum yeah no I totally don't have a massive unrequited crush on your son who would probably rather be stuck by one of Haggar’s spells than even think of me that way’ and what if he told her about your argument during the kral vera so she knows you as the one who believes her son is according to your own heated words a ‘cold excuse of man.’

You shudder at the thought of the stoic woman hating you. The idea only makes you feel even more anxious being left in a ship with her for 1.5 earth years.

Luckily the other paladins don’t seem to be faring much better with Allura shouting at the wolf, Romelle trying to touch all the buttons on the spaceship leaving Lance annoyed, and Coran trying to teach Keith and Shiro the altean alphabet by singing a song that haunted your dreams as a little girl. 

“Keiths told me a lot about you during our time in the quantum abyss” Krolia commented clearly aware that she would get nowhere if she waited for you to start a conversation 

“I can only apologise for whatever you have heard from him, I assure you-” you began damage control only imagining the lovely choice of words he must have had to say about you, especially after your disagreement when she cut you off

“You are much more pretty than he described” was all she said causing a flush to creep up your cheeks as you turned away from her 

“Thank you” you whispered in confusion, eyebrows furrowed as she continued to speak 

“He seems to have underplayed a lot of things about you. But I am glad my son has found someone like you- you are quite similar to his father, willing to give everything to others” she spoke softly at the mention of her lover but you were sat shocked facing forwards, her words ruminating in your mind.

Clearly she liked you- approved of even which made no sense because why would she feel the need to approve of you- someone who isn't even really friends with her son. Not anymore. And with the mentioning of you being similar to his father- it didn’t make any sense!

Lance’s voice cut into the comms before you could think on her words further 

“Guys, I think I did a bad job choosing the passengers” only took him this long to notice. Why on earth would he split up Keith from his mother? Lance’s logic was beyond you and now clearly himself 

“I think he thought by choosing the pretty altean he could charm her and have an easy time” You voiced your thoughts to Kroila who was watching Lance through the comms link and she laughed slightly

“Clearly that is not the case” she agreed humorously and you simply smiled in reply as Keith turned on his comms so everyone could hear Coran’s rendition of the altean alphabet upon hearing it Romelle joined in which just as much enthusiasm causing you to chuckle as you sang along under your breath not noticing how a certain black paladin was watching your screen like a hawk having a not so nice hand gestures and eye conversation with his mother when she caught him staring at you with a soft smile at your antics.

Eventually the singing and not knowing what his mother was saying to you got too much for Keith. Her smirks at him made him extremely nervous as he screamed

“That’s it we are changing passengers!” to which Allura agreed quickly 

“I second that!” clearly fed up with the wolf drooling everywhere even though Keith told her he likes to drool several times.  

“Agreed” Lance called out trying to keep Romelle away from the buttons again

“Whatever you guys want” you called out trying not to seem rude towards the older woman 

“Hey guys, why haven't we heard from Pidge?” Hunk announced   

“Yeah. Wait, who’s in her lion again?” Lance questioned 

“No idea” is all you said

“Yeah Lance, you’re the one that came up with this grouping” Keith added to your point 

“Well, she must have– no, they're with Keith. And the wolf is with Allura and I have the mice” You suddenly laughed as you realised what's happened 

“She's all alone” you spoke laughing a hand covering your mouth as the others quickly realised that you were in fact correct.

 The team quickly used the wolf's transportation techniques to transfer all the passengers into Pidge's ship except for Shiro and Krolia who were now on Keith’s ship.

“Oh come on guys this isn't fair!” Pidge complained but you all simply ignored her amused by her suffering.  

── ✧

Krolias voice sounded out from the comms

“This is the Klii-Nyn System. There’s a Blade of Marmora rally point located on a moon here. We should check in with them and get an update on their operations.”

“Team, we're going to make a quick stop. Everyone follow me” Keith called out and you followed closely behind.

You all landed on the moon with Krolia unable to make any contact with the base so you all quickly got out of the lions to check it out as something clearly wasn't right.

Allura used her strength to open the door allowing Krolia to go in first as you hovered into the base. It looked completely empty, dark and decrepit with no sign of life at all within its walls.

“It doesn't look like anyone’s been here for years,” Keith commented while Pidge tried to press buttons on the control panel

“The system won’t boot. Looks like the power has been out for a while” She agreed with Keith's observation the place had already been deserted a long time ago. 

“If the Blade of Marmora abandoned this place, that means something really bad must have happened” Hunk theorised 

“That's impossible” Krolia admitted “This base was still fully operational during my last check-in with the Blades.”

“It doesn't make any sense even if they left within the last three days it wouldn't look like this” you exclaimed, twirling around and looking at the area it just looked old, not destroyed but before you could voice anything else a large explosion was heard from outside causing the area to shake.

“Enemy ship! Incoming!” Coran called out 

“Everyone back to the lions” Keith commanded as you all flew back towards the entrance you quickly came back to your lion and flew off with the rest of the team noticing the galran ships surrounding the area 

“It looks like a small fleet. Mostly Galra fighters” Keith commented 

“That's good. We should be able to take them out pretty easily” Lance responded

“Yeah, but remember, we’re not flying at full power” Pidge warned 

“Pidge is right” Keith announced “everyone stay sharp.”

You flew quickly trying to avoid the blasts

“Keep an eye out” Lance reminded you all “Where there are fighters there’s usually a cruiser nearby” 

“Some of these ships look like they belong to Lotor’s fleet” you heard Romelle shout out from Allura comms making you pull a puzzled face wasn't she in Pidge’s lion?

“How did you get in here?” Allura asked confused you were about to voice your own concerns when a blue light appeared behind you in the cockpit to reveal Keith's wolf who quickly bounded up next to you to give you some support 

“Thanks, buddy” you whispered nudging your head against the world slightly causing him to push back in happiness for some attention before you grunted as a beam nearly knocked you off your path sending the wolf down with you “Sorry, it’s not going to be an easy ride”

“We need to get out of here” Keith called out warningly as more and more fighters seemed to appear out of nowhere 

“We’re getting our quiznacks handed to us. We need to do something.” Lance complained “we need to form Voltron”

“Okay” Keith agreed “everyone in formation”

You tried to form Voltron but the depleted energy cores made it impossible.

You tried to escape but they backed you into a corner with the pirates behind you, crystals surrounding you and a cyclone at the exit. 

“We have no choice” Keith decided “Everyone into the cyclone”

After formatting a plan you quickly left the cyclone trying to take your way towards a nearby unstable ice planet in hopes it could grant you the upper hand.

You descended onto the planet with the fighter ships right on your tail using the landscape to the best of your abilities to lose the pirates, weaving around geysers, and flying through underground tunnels but it still wasn't enough as soon as you made it out the cave without any of fighters pilots following behind you were immediately captured by a large magnet pinning the lions to the floor- there was no escape.

── ✧

You were quickly taken into a holding cell, arms bound by handcuffs, you were sat next to Allura with Keith right above you, none of you saying a word as Lance pranced around the cell pulling faces.

“What are you doing?” Hunk asked annoyed

“I’m feeling for secret passages” Lance responded as if it was the most sane idea ever, you looked up at him incredulously- was he serious

“You’ve watched too many movies, Lance. There’s no secret passage.” Keith complained 

“And why on earth would they put one where they keep the prisoners” you questioned the Cuban boy still in disbelief that he wasn't joking 

“Oh really?” he questioned moving to the middle of the cell “Then how do you explain this?” he quickly hit the side of the cell with his foot before whimpering in pain- clearly not an area for a secret passage you simply rolled your eyes at him not failing to notice how Keith smirked at your reaction making your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as to why he seems to care so much about you now. 

“Will someone shut him up?” Krolia asked after Lance hit his other foot on another area that he thought would be a secret passage but wasn't now holding his foot for dear life as he tumbled around in pain.

“There's only one guard patrolling out there.” She observed “If we can get this door open, we can overpower him” 

“What happened to Coran?” Hunk questioned 

“He must of managed to hide when we were captured” Krolia guessed

“At least we have one ally out there still able to fight for us” Allura spoke relieved 

 “Are you saying our fate rests in Coran’s hands?” Pidge asked, causing you all to look down in worry.

“I will help you look for that passage” Pidge comments to Lance clearly believing his idea would have a better shot at getting them free than Coran ever could. 

Your head snapped up at the sound of the door opening when two very familiar faces appeared from behind their guards leaving you all shocked it was two of Lotor's generals

“Look who's here. It’s Voltron” Ezor mocked 

“We’re going to have a little talk” cackled Zethrid 

“Hey you’re the guys that Lotor shot into space” Lance stated the obvious clearly not reading the room

“And the ones that were trying to kill us” Pidge finished off for him

“Yeah sure, but we're all friends now right?” Hunk questioned and you started at him 

“I don’t think they would’ve captured and locked us up if we were friends Hunk” You tilted your head at him as he gawked in understanding 

“I’m glad one of you has a brain,” Ezor smirked. “Makes it so much more fun when we torture you!”

“Where have you been all this time? And what happened to Lotor?” Zethrid questioned 

“What are you talking about” Shiro responded cooly 

“We’re talking about your little disappearing act.” Ezor clarified 

“Disappearing act? We followed Lotor into the quintessence field and then came back out not long after” you replied confused “Not sure how that counts as disappearing” 

“Answer the question!” Zethrid seethed, clearly not impressed by your answer “How did you survive that explosion?” she continued 

“Don’t you know? You were there.” Hunk questioned cautiously 

“I think there’s a little confusion about how the ‘we ask questions, you give us answers scenario works.’” Ezor commented

“Enough of your games. Where is Lotor” Zethrid asked 

“Lotors dead. We left him in the Quintessence field” Keith answered

“Yeah that doesn't really add up. Why aren't you dead?” Ezor probed 

“Because of the power of teamwork?” Hunk responded unsure of himself 

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” Zethrid challenged “and then we are going to have to take a more extreme approach. What happened to Lotor and where have you been all this time?”

“How many times do we have to say it to get it through your thick skulls? We haven't been anywhere and Lotor is dead:” you shouted in annoyance.

“Fine” Ezor replied 

“You leave us no choice but to apply pressure” Zethrid commanded 

“Who is the first victim?” Ezor asked excited 

“How about the smart loudmouth witch Lotor was always telling us about, let's see if she is really worth all his praise,” Zethrid responded, clearly referring to you. Ezor started to make her way towards you when Lance tried to attack her from the side

“Don’t you touch them!” He shouted as he swung his joined together hands as Ezor who quickly dodged his attack sending him to the ground with a kick a guard with a gun was placed in front of him before he could make another move

“Your defence is adorable and so very misguided” Zethrid comments with a laugh 

“Leave us alone” Pidge shouted which resulted in Ezor slapping her with her hair and wrapped it around your hands dragging you to her Hunk called out your name in worry as Ezor’s hand went around your throat as you groaned and thrashed trying to get away 

“Let her go!” Keith commanded but was stopped by a soldier with a gun before he could try anything 

“Answers” Ezor commanded as she held you up against the wall a deadly tight grip on your throat barely leaving enough room for air 

“We told you, he’s–” Keith began to answer them his voice pleading when a large boom rattled the area and alarms started blaring making them all need to leave to check out the security breach.

Ezor quickly let go making you fall to the ground hard, you groaned in pain as you were held up leaning against Allura for support as the rest of the paladins watched her leave. Keith quickly helped you up, eyes looking alarmed as they assessed your neck clearly it looked as bad as it hurt but Krolia started talking before he could say anything much to your relief

“This is our chance, the next time that door opens, overwhelm the guard.” she strategies you'll quickly go on either side preparing yourselves but when the door opened no guard came in, you all looked to the door to see the mice who had taken down the guard 

“Hello little friends” Allura spoke crouching down to them they spoke to her and she gasped “Coran is trying to rescue us and he’s got help- Axca” She turned towards Keith whose eyes lit up with recognition 

“What” was all he could muster.

You all quickly ran to find Coran quickly finding him fighting this large soldier purple and barely conscious from his efforts Lance and Keith quickly grabbed him helping him move along as we made our way towards the hanger that our lions were kept in while Keith went after Axca.

Once you were all inside the lions Keith called out to shoot on his location which you all quickly did resulting in a massive explosion that Keith and Axca fled and ran into the black lion's cockpit then the team quickly made her get away following Axca directions to one of her safe houses. 

── ✧

You were all sitting in her cave, a fire brewing as she turned to speak to you “I don't know what Ezor and Zethrid were on about with Keith because you're my favourite paladin.” you smiled at her compliment 

“Well not that you are up against any tough competition but you always were my favourite of Lotors generals- the only level-headed one” you joked back hitting her with your shoulder as she laughed back

“You're not wrong there” you continued to banter with the galran when Hunk came back with more firewood causing you to halt the conversation but both of your eyes twinkled with the idea that you were far from done speaking.

“I just looked at the lions and they’re in worse shape than ever.” Hunk worries

“We should probably give them some time to recharge before we head back on our way” Shiro decides

“Wow a lot has changed over the past few weeks” Lance comments

“Weeks?” Axca questions “what are you talking about?” 

“The last time we saw you. You were fighting alongside Lotor” Allura responds confused 

“That was three deca-phoebs ago” Axca tells you “No-one has seen you since your fight with Lotor.” 

“That impossible” Kieth stated 

“It’s true” Axca declared “After Lotor jettisoned us, we managed to make it to cover a meteorite. There we saw both Voltron and Lotor disappear. Eventually, Voltron re-emerged… alone. But, then there was an explosion and after that… nothing. That was three deca-phoebe ago”

“So, as far as everyone else in the universe is concerned, Volron has been gone for three deca-phoebe?” Allura clarifies 

“That would explain the discrepancies in the star charts in our lions.” Pidge realised “I thought they were off because of our inter-dimensional jumping which I guess they were in a way- because if you think about it, that must have been the cause of the time slip between our experience and that of the rest of the universe.”

“So how did you end up here, helping us?” Keith questioned the girl 

“Zethrid, Ezor, and I were stationed on the meteoroid for days. Finally, a Galra ship came to investigate Lotor's last known whereabouts. We took it over. With Lotor gone, it was clear that there was a power vacuum in the Galra Empire. Zethrid and Ezor wanted to exploit that for their own gain but I knew I had to find my own path. And it led me to you.” she replied gesturing to the team 

“Thank you for saving us” Keith smiled 

“I hope that this makes up for some of the wrongs I’ve done.” she clarifies you grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze as you smiled

 “We understand” gesturing to you and Allura “How easy it is to believe in him” 

“I realise now that Lotor wasn't the man I thought he was. He preached unity, but in the end, he sought only power.” Axca continued “I’ll do everything I can out here to help the Voltron coalition.”

“Wow, so everyone that was helping is thinks we’re dead” Hunk thought aloud 

“Wait” Pidge called out in a panicked voice “I haven't been able to get ahold of my dad on Earth or Matt and the rebels. What's happened to them in the last three years?”

“And if Ezor and Zethrid became warlords in that time… what else has changed?” Allura questioned.

The revelation that you had been missing for three deca-pheobes settled deep within you all as you sat in silence trying to gather the courage to speak- worry clearly covering all of your faces.

You quickly stood up looking down at your feet as you left Axcas cave and made your way towards the lions sitting on the edge of the cliff they were stationed on trying to steady your breathing as you began to spiral at the idea of all the coalition being gone, all the people that Voltron had let down as you were presumed dead.

You could the lions humming in your brain quieter than last time thanks to their run-down state trying to ease your discomfort- it was still a new feeling every time you closed your eyes you could feel them- like your life force was now integrated with their own, your pain was there and their discomfort yours just as Alfor prophesied. You hoped he was proud- that it was all worth it.

The buzzing of the lions in your head was probably what made you unable to hear his footsteps as they approached you only noticed him when he came to sit next to you the lion’s voices leaving you alone when your eyes stared into his violet orbs echoing your pain of lost time a feeling your sure he is a lot more familiar with. You turn away from him after a moment eyes going to your feet as they dangle from the cliff 

“How do you do it” you mutter to him unsure of how to ask for comfort from him now, after everything

“Hm?” He prompted trying to seem as calm as you for the first time since the Kral Vera started a conversation with him sacred if he said too much it would send you further away than you already where

“Forgive yourself for not being there, for not being able to protect the people you promised I guess” you replied eyes welling up as your throat tightened 

“I think” he took a deep breath as you looked up at him “you just need to remember that there was nothing you could do that could’ve got yourself there, we can’t go back in time” he explained voice soft as he took in your features as you sat there staring at the boy in silence the guilt and remorse finally caught up with you at all the things you had said that day- none of it was true, not to you any way she wasn’t  a sorry excuse of a man rather he was everything you ever wanted and while he may have been cold at times he never was to you- the scene right now proving it, even more, he never turned you away as you did to him that day

“M-sorry” you muttered “for what happened during the Kral vera it wasn’t true- not to me” you began when he interrupted you similarly to how he did that day 

“It’s okay” he smiled a little “I mean you were right I was being overprotective and cold- I had a lot of time to think about it when I was stuck in the quantum abyss with my mom” 

“I don’t want to fight” is all you said, almost whispering 

“I know” he grabbed your hand as you both looked forwards “It’s okay” he repeated squeezing your hand “We’re okay” 

Maybe you were okay but your mind couldn't seem to stop thinking about his words ‘you were right’ a thought you also had these past few months but rather about what he had spoken about you.

You knew what you had said was wrong you even told him that but he hadn’t taken his words back. So that still must be how he thinks about you. Clearly you need to listen to what he said and then continue as you have been barely speaking- anything to avoid his ire and keep him as he is now- content.

[ryxiez]

Not A Walk In the Park

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Genera ➛ angst (no part 2 yet)

Pairing ➛ idol!Yeonjun x nonidol!reader

Word Count ➛ 1.05k

Warnings ➛ swearing, yelling, belittling the reader, (other angst stuff). Nicknames like baby and my love.

AN: I don’t see myself writing a second part any time soon, so for now it’s going to be left open ended

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Fighting wasn't a usual occurrence between the two of you. Communication was something you both valued. You guys even took pride in being good at ever since your relationship started. However, that fact didn't seem to apply to today.

Things were said that either neither of you meant, the words thrown around almost as if they meant nothing. But, the sting was real.

It happened to be a long day for you, wanting nothing more than to curl up into your boyfriends arms for the rest of the night and sleep. It always helped you forget the rest of the world for a while when he would hold you tight.

On the other hand, Yeonjun seemed to have extremely different plans.

He himself had a long day but his consisted of constant vocal and dance rehearsal. He just wanted some time to himself to think. Not about anything in particular yet everything at the same time.

However, Yeonjun had trouble vocalizing that today. He was overstimulated and didn't know how to explain was he was feeling in sensible words. As a result things took an awkward turn.

You pushed the door to your shared apartment quickly, throwing your bag aside and kicking off your shoes like you usually do, letting out a deep sigh.

Yeonjun sat with his back to you on the couch, he had his hands in his lap and his head held down. His long black hair covering the look on his face. The news channel was on, but the volume was on mute, something that was very unusual.

To you it looked like your boyfriend could use some cuddles. Maybe you were a bit bias because you wanted them yourself, but when you threw your arms around him from behind, you thought nothing more of it.

On the other hand, he became agitated immediately, his posture straightening back up fast as he reached around himself to push you away.

"Baby?... What's the matter my love?" You were confused when you asked, walking around to the other side of the couch so you could see his face clearly.

You tried to reach out for his hands that were again placed in his lap balled up into fists, wanting to hold them for reassurance. But his face scrunched up in disgust.

He harshly swatted away your hands, "Why do you always have to be so fucking clingy all the time... jeez!" He said loudly with an exaggerated sigh as he stood up from the couch.

"Excuse me?" You asked defensively, your own emotions starting to bubble up as you took a step back from his towering figure.

"You heard me. Just fuck off and leave me alone, I'm tired. I don't need you making it worse like you always do." He grumbled, now walking away from you.

Now it was your turn to be upset, he couldn't just say things like that and expect everything to be all okay.

"Your not the only one who gets to have hard days around here Mr. 'I'm more Important"' you shot back.

You had to admit, you were being childish, but it was hard to think rationally when all your feelings started crumbling. You were only trying to be nice and this is how he repays you?

"See! There you go again, blaming me for everything! Last time I checked, your not the idol around here. You just work some god damn low life job and get away with it because your in a relationship with me." He yelled, rolling his eyes and continuing to walk to your shared bedroom. He slammed the door shut without another word.

You groaned in frustration after the loud slam reverberated through the house, he's never raised his voice at you before let alone insult you like that.

You didn't want to think anymore once you felt the tears already start to fill your water line. You knew you had to leave, at least for the night, swearing that you would suffocate if you stayed there any longer.

Putting on your shoes quickly, your adrenaline running fast, you made your way out of the apartment. you couldn't think straight as thoughts flooded your mind.

'I'm I annoyingly clingy?' 'Does he really think I'm just using him for money?' 'Does he think he's actually that much better than me?' And worst of all... 'Did he fall out of love?'

Letting your feet take the lead and your brain take a back row seat, you had no idea where you were going.

You had nowhere to go. Nobody to run to. You uprooted your whole life for Yeonjun, moving away from your family and friends so you both could find a place closer to his own job at the studio. He was the only safe space you knew., but he went and threw it all away with just a few words.

It was getting dark, but by now you had an idea of where you wanted to go. There was a park a few blocks away, a very beautiful one at that. One that you had many dates at with Yeonjun, but that's besides the point.

By the time you made it there, you weren't running anymore. Tears stained your cheeks and you were out of breath. You don't remember letting them fall because you tried to hold them back, but you felt better getting them out.

Finding a secluded bench, in the corner of a small flower field, you felt a little bit better curling up onto it. Your knees curled into your chest as the small lamp on the path illuminated the flowers around you. They calmed you momentarily until a sob escaped your throat when you remembered why you were here in the first place.

- To Be Continued

Taglist: @uno7 …

[inlovewithfictionalmen7]

could i get a nikki sixx angst where reader thinks he’s cheating on her and they have a big fight but it ends up in fluff🙏🙏

thank you for requesting!! i hope you like it and its what you were looking for.

Misunderstanding 

Nikki sixx x reader 

Glancing at the clock on the wall for probably the 20th time since 11:30 pm, when Nixxi said he'd be home. It was no almost two in the morning. For the past few weeks nikki´s been getting home later and later from the times he says, he doesn't act like the guy y/n fell in love with. 

A thought crosses y/n´s mind as she sits on the couch waiting for Nikki to come home. What if he's out with another girl? What if hes fucking another girl right now? What-what if he doesn't love me anymore? y/n thought to herself. She's never let the thought of Nikki cheating cross her mind before but with how he's been acting she can't help it. 

She's so deep in her thought that she didn't hear the front door open and her boyfriend stumble in. Nikki stopped when she saw someone in the corner of his eye. Looking over at his girlfriend he walks over to her “hey babe why are you still up”  he says slurring some of his words. The sudden voice behind y/n made her jump and look up at the obviously drunk man. “I was waiting for my boyfriend who said he'd be home almost three and a half hours ago.” as the words leave her mouth nikki rolls his eyes. “I was out and lost track of time no big deal” he says throwing his arms up. 

“No big deal?!” y/n says rasing her voice “Nikki the past few weeks youve been acting diffrent, not coming home untill almost three in the fucking morning, probably out fucking some random bimbo, while im here waiting for you to come home so i know youre fucking safe!” she says standing  up, looking at her boyfriend who was making an extremely confused face. “Cheating? Are you serious y/n?!” he says glaring at her. “When have I ever made it so you wouldn't trust me? Huh?” nikki says getting in her face 

“Oh i don't know, not telling me where you've been, being distant, not having time for me anymore because if you're not doing drugs you're out doing god knows what!” y/n yells at nikki causing him to turn around, pick up a bottle of jack that he had left laying around one day and throw it across the room making it shatter. “y/n ive never even fucking thought about cheating on you, but you know what. Maybe I will if you already think I am” he says, looking her in the eyes. 

y/n´s eyes well up with tears but before she could say anything nikki starts “oh now you're crying. Typical” rolling his eyes he goes up stairs hearing her crying behind him. Once he's upstairs and in their room, he goes into his closet and shoots up. Reality of everything that happened tonight is sinking in. Nikki wasnt out with another girl, no other girl could even compare to his y/n, and to know that she thinks that low of him hurts a lot.

While nikki is upstairs, y/n is down stairs looking at the shattered glass with teary eyes. After almost ten minutes she decided to clean up the glass carefully. Once she's all done she slowly makes her way upstairs. When she entered the room she already knew nikkis in the closet, so she walked over, opened the door and saw Nikki lying on the ground, a needle laying next to him. Her eyes start tearing up again as she picks the needle up putting it into the trash before turning her attention to nikki 

“Nik? Wake up” she says rubbing his face a little until his eyes open looking at her in a daze, a big frown makes its way to his face when he remembers what happened “baby?” he asks sadly “come on nikki let's get you in bed” y/n says while trying to pull him up. “I'm so sorry y/n, i-i've never cheated on you i promise” nikki says turning to face her, putting his hands on her shoulders “please believe me sweetheart” he begs the woman in front of him. y/n smiles and leads him to the bed, and pushing him to lay down “well talk about this in the morning nikki, you need to sleep right now”  

As she gets into bed next to him he lays his head on her chest. “I love you y/n, more than anything in the world. When I'm out I'm just with Tommy and the guys drinking i promise” he slurs from both the drugs and tiredness. y/n kisses him forehead before whispering “i love you too nikki, now get some sleep” 

The last thing she heard before he passed out was a mumbled ‘im sorry’