#no Adam you may not seduce others

[lilacwriter07]

Omega!Lucifer would steal Adam's clothes, and make a nest out of it . Hissing at others if they try to get Adam's clothes back, no matter how many clothes Adam buys . Lucifer always find a way to get them .

He even cried to Charlie when he catch Lucifer taking his underwear, sniffing them on his way to his nest . Purring how lovestruck he looks .

"Well I guess I have to walk naked then and seduce others with my perfect body ." Making Vaggie gag and Lucifer's tail wag, as his eyes becomes dark .

Later

"Has anyone seen Adam ?" Charlie asked ."Yeah ." Angel showed a picture of Adam getting carried to Lucifer's nest ."I really tried to save him .. But your father is the devil, like I want to live you know ."

[venusdandy]

God's Rival [Part 1]

[Hazbin Hotel x GN!reader] [Platonic]

Story Summary: The Demiurge is what they decided to call you. You aren't human, angel, or demon. You're something else entirely—an enigma in each realm. The only being who had ever shown you kindness was the fallen angel Lucifer since he freed you from Heaven's prison by offering Eve the apple from your tree. You promised him a fruitful favor in exchange, but he has not asked anything from you. Until now, that is.

Chapter Summary: After the death of Adam, the residents of the Hazbin Hotel discuss ideas of how to protect Hell from Heaven's potential wrath. Reluctantly, Lucifer mentions he knows someone who owes him a favor and quite literally may be the only deity able to help them.

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader (they/them pronouns). No use of (y/n). The reader is genderless and AroAce—platonic relationships with the characters only.

The reader gets referred to as the "mother of chaos" once (in the same way one refers to mother nature). Nifty calls the reader a "bad boy" once (before meeting them). The reader is only referenced in this chapter without appearing yet.

Part 1 [Here] Part 2

The residents of the Hotel are gathered in their new lounge discussing the most recent extermination, or more specifically, Adam's death and the consequences. Heaven hasn't made any contact with Hell yet, but then again, it's only been a few days.

"I still think my idea is better," Angel smirks as he leans back on the couch comfortingly.

Vaggie growls with frustration, but Charlie quickly intervenes by gently touching her lover's shoulders. "Angel, we appreciate your help, but um," Charlie smiles tensely, "I don't think you seducing the angels in Heaven will help."

Angel shrugs. "Best idea anyone's had in the last hour."

Well, he isn't wrong. They've been severely lacking in the brainstorming department. After the conclusion that killing the first man has undoubtedly set off alarms in Heaven, for the past three and a half hours, they've all been discussing potential ideas to protect Hell from Heaven.

So far, Husk has thrown out that they should just set Nifty loose in Heaven (which Vaggie actually considered), Alastor has been making angelic puns (not at all helping), and Charlie has been pitching many civil plans to persuade Heaven (all her plans are in song form).

Lucifer has been very quiet throughout this. He's only been partially listening to everyone, as he is too focused on his worries. He's been mentally debating bringing up his idea; it's potentially the only way they'd stand a chance against all of Heaven's wrath.

But so much could go wrong. . .

Charlie must have noticed the faraway look in her father's eyes. She gently calls out to Lucifer, making him jolt out of his thoughts. He straightened up in the armchair and forced a smile. "Yes, Char-Char?"

Charlie holds one of her dad's hands with concern. "Are you okay? We can take a break if it's too much."

Lucifer sighs, letting his body sink into the chair, and his smile drops. "No, no, it's okay. I just. . .I have an idea."

Charlie perks up at this, a big smile shining on her face. "That's great!"

Lucifer opens his mouth but closes it again. He really doesn't want to mention you, but they've been shoved in a corner, and it's starting to look like only you can break down the walls.

With a reluctant sigh, Lucifer asks the others, "Have you heard of the Demiurge?"

Alastor hums with amusement as his grin stretches. "If you don't have ideas, there's no need to make up words. Just admit that little head of yours is empty!"

Lucifer, unknowingly falling for Alastor's rage bait, glares at him. "I'm not making up words, you oversized dried cherry! That's their title!". Lucifer then specifies your actual name.

Charlie clears her throat, awkwardly trying to distract the two demons. "Okay, let's calm down and hear what Dad's idea is."

Lucifer crosses his arms, still glaring at Alastor as he explains. "The Demiurge is responsible for a lot but mostly known for creating the mortal realm and overall shaping the material world. They're the maintainer of chaos."

Husk scoffs and mumbles under his breath, "Did a shit job maintaining the chaos in my life."

Charlie anxiously shifts her weight from leg to leg. 'Maintainer of chaos' doesn't sound very appealing. "Soooo, are they. . .nice?"

Lucifer finally looks away from Alastor; his smile is pissing him off more anyway, and he shifts his body to face his daughter. "Nice?" Lucifer repeats, "Maybe? From what I remember, they treated their creations with kindness."

"Creations?" Vaggie asks with a raised brow, "What does that mean? Like weapons or. . .?"

"Life.", Lucifer clarifies, "The Demiurge is capable of creating intelligent life forms."

This hooks everyone's attention. Even Nifty stops herself from stabbing a bug and looks up curiously. The little unfortunate bug quickly scurries across the floorboards, trying to escape, only for Nifty to leap at it again with her knife closing in on it.

"Like God? The fuck?" Angel asks with astonishment.

Lucifer nods. "They're powerful, so I thought about summoning them to help us since they owe me a favor anyway."

"Favor?", Charlie asks curiously and slightly worried.

Lucifer was about to explain further but decided to tell the Demiurge's origins so everyone could better understand who you are.

With a wave of his hand, a large and old book of the universe's secrets lands in Lucifer's lap. He opens it to the exact page of your tale and takes a deep breath before reading out loud.

.

"Before time, there was only the Celestial power in a realm called Heaven. But that power balance began to tip when an unknown angel mothered a deity with unbelievable divine powers that she abandoned their child in a clouded realm. The young deity lived for millennium alone, thinking they were the only being in existence. With no guidance from their mother, their power was disorganized, and they created galaxies, planets, and even complex life forms in their clouded realm.

After discovering the mysterious deity and their divine powers, Heaven deemed them a possible threat to the universe's balance. Questions rang in Heaven, wondering where this God-like creature came from. Only one angel knew who the deity was and where they came from, but she stayed quiet in fear she would be punished. It was her very own sinful thoughts and overwhelming emotions that had birthed her child.

The deity was elated to witness life forms they did not create, as they were not as alone as they formerly thought. At first, knowledge was transferred in civil conversations to understand each other's existence. The deity showed their realm, and in turn, the angels showed theirs. Heaven was more lenient towards them after witnessing their calm and happy nature. The deity behaved much like an angel, Heaven thought, so they let them remain in their realm of creation.

It was during that time the deity discovered they had a mother and how she abandoned them over her selfish desire to protect herself. The deity then lashed out with exasperated grief. The one who gave them life was ashamed of them. Their creations began behaving more aggressively and rigidly as the deity's emotions swam in negativity. Once again, Heaven became alarmed by the deity's power. They threatened the deity to stop, or Heaven would have no choice but to force them to stop by the power of the Heavenly Father. But the deity was too far lost in their rage of despair to listen. So, Heaven destroyed the deity's creations to almost extinction and trapped their soul within an apple tree. This massive tree became known as The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

After 65 million years, the Heavenly Father created the first humans within the Garden of Eden. As long as the humans didn't eat the forbidden apples of The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, they would live a pleasant life under God's guidance.

But, the life balance for humans forever shifted when Eve accepted the apple from the serpent and took a bite.

The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil vibrated until it burst into golden flames. The deity stood freely with their power surging through their veins once again. There was no longer only peace; now, there was chaos in the world.

That was the rebirth of The Demiurge."

.

After Lucifer finishes reading the timeless tale, he gently closes his book and teleports it to where it belongs with cloudy red magic. It's been a few millennia since he's sat down and read the origins of the Demiurge like this.

Nifty squeals from her spot on the floor laying on her stomach, kicking her feet in the air. "A bad boy!" She giggles.

Lucifer quickly clutches his fists in his lap as he realizes he's shaking with anxiety. Honestly, Lucifer does NOT want to call upon you. So many things could go wrong, and the first thing that comes to mind is how awkward it'll be. He can't just be like, 'Oh hey, haven't seen you since Eden! Could you fight Heaven and protect Hell for us? Thanks!' ABSOLUTELY NOT!

The second reason is that Lucifer has only a vague idea of what you're capable of. He knows you're powerful; he was one of the angels investigating you and your realm of life.

You treat your creations with love and gentleness, as Lucifer's father does with his creations. But you're the Demiurge, maintainer of chaos. Your mere existence allowed chaos and evil to spread in human souls. What motivates you? What are your aspirations?

. . .And would you be a threat to Charlie?

Vaggie's eyes are narrowed, glaring at where the book just was. Having the radio demon managing the hotel is enough of a risk as is; she will not allow some powerful entity- the maintainer of chaos, that is, anywhere near Charlie.

Husk is the first to break the tense silence with a slight smirk on his lips. "That's some serious mommy issues."

Angel snorts. "Careful, whiskers, the Boogieman might just catch ya for saying shit like that."-he suddenly scoots closer to Husk on the couch, invading his personal space. "But don't ya worry, I'll hold ya real close for safety!"

Without even looking at Angel, Husk shoves him off the couch. "OOF!"

"Boogieman?" Alastor asks with some amusement.

Angel sits up on the floor and shrugs in response. "They sound creepy, like the Boogieman." Angel grins wide with a laugh, "Hey, maybe you and them will get along then, Smiles!"

Alastor only raises a brow at Angel's comment. If anything, the Demiurge will most likely piss him off like Lucifer does. But either way, he's deathly curious about you. What exactly can you do? Or rather, what can he exploit from you?

Lucifer groans and throws his head back against the armchair. "I don't know if we should ask the Demiurge for help. . ."

Charlie quickly shakes her head. "What, why? You said they can help, and they owe you a favor anyway! We have to ask, at least!"

Vaggie rests a hand on her lover's shoulder. "I'm not sure about this either, Charlie. This isn't your average favor exchange."

Charlie is about to argue more but closes her mouth. She bobs her side to side in acknowledgment. "Yeah. . .but Dad freed them from the tree, and helping us protect Hell from Heaven is sorta like freeing us, right?"

Now, Vaggie nods but sighs in exasperation. "Babe, we can't trust the maintainer of chaos who, might I remind you, brought evil into the world."

Lucifer, without a second thought, jumps to your defense, "Now, I wouldn't say they brought evil into the world. Evil already existed; human souls at the time couldn't comprehend evil. That's how they were originally designed. The Demiurge brought the ability for humans to understand evil, and I gave humans free will." He rubs his neck awkwardly and mumbles, "And I mean, it was their world before Heaven took control of it."

Husk scratches his chin in thought. "Sounds like they'd be eager to fight Heaven if that's the case."

Charlie claps her hands together in determination. "Exactly! I'm not for the idea of revenge, but they already aren't on good terms with Heaven. And it sounds like we- as, in Hell, are on neutral terms with them?"

Lucifer nods, but he's still not convinced he should summon you. . . Indeed, you've never shown malice towards Hell, but you've also never shown any signs of supporting Hell.

Well, you've shown respect for his family, which he is confident of. Lucifer can recall how each year, on his and Lilith's anniversary, they'd receive a generous gift from the Demiurge. They especially received a lot of gifts from you for the baby shower Lilith held for the nearing birth of Charlie.

Now that Lucifer is thinking about the Demiurge more, how'd you even know these dates? Neither he nor Lilith invited you to their wedding or baby shower, yet you still sent them gifts. Lucifer always assumed word had got around, and that's how you heard of it, but you were always so precise with the timing, too.

For instance, when their marriage started going South, instead of receiving one gift from the Demiurge on their anniversary for them to share, Lucifer and Lilith received their own uniquely catered gift. He was so emotionally distraught back then that he never realized how odd and borderline creepy that was. How could you have possibly known that Lilith and him weren't doing well? Not to mention how after they split apart, they received no gifts from you! How do you know all of this?! Are you hiding in his castle walls or something?!

Alastor knocks his cane against the wooden floorboards to gather everyone's attention. "I must agree with our dear Princess! We need extra assistance for what's to come, and it sounds like the Demiurge is the one for it."

Lucifer glares at Alastor. Well, now that he knows Alastor wants you to be summoned, Lucifer wants to summon you even less now!

"Plus!" Alastor continues with a stretching smile, "Our little King and the Demiurge are bound by a contract! They must fulfill their end of the bargain whether they want to or not."

"Preferably wanting to!" Charlie quickly adds, "Actually, only wanting to! We aren't forcing anyone to do anything they aren't comfortable doing!" Alastor subtly rolls his eyes.

Lucifer takes a breath in through his teeth at that realization. "Uhhhh, we didn't shake on it soooo. . ."

Vaggie immediately facepalms. "Are you serious right now?!"

Alastor's neck snaps at an angle toward Lucifer. "You didn't. . .Make an official deal? Then what makes you think this creature of chaos would willingly do you a favor?"

Lucifer stands from his chair with a glare and points an accusing finger at Alastor, "Excuse me for having more important things on my mind like, I don't know, getting out of Eden alive!"

Alastor's brows furrow together with irritation, and his smile sits tightly. Leaning onto his cane for stability, he bends forward to reach Lucifer's much shorter height. "You're excused."

Lucifer starts rolling up his sleeves. "Alright, you pompous prick-"

"Okay! That's enough!" Charlie quickly intervenes by leaping between the two demons with a nervous smile. "How about we finish this discussion tomorrow after thinking more about it? Sound fair?"

Reluctantly, Lucifer backs off, blowing air out his nostrils with pent-up anger. Alastor shows no further vexation as he straightens up, firmly placing his hands on his cane.

From the floor, Angel raised one of his hands. "So, question about the Demiurge."

Lucifer sighs with exhaustion but brings his full attention to Angel anyway. "Ask away; I'll answer the best I can."

Angel smirks as he asks, "What do they look like? Are they sexy?"

Husk and Vaggie groan at the question, not even surprised. At that, Husk stands from the couch and goes to the bar. He needs a drink—or maybe 12.

Lucifer, on the other hand, was genuinely pondering the question, the first half at least. "Uhh, from what I remember, the more humanoid form they take on have ears and a tail like a lion and golden scales on the edges of their face, around their eyes, and just scattered around their body, I think."

The term 'humanoid form' catches Alastor's attention. According to Lucifer, it sounds like the Demiurge is a creature that naturally doesn't look like a human and instead takes on that form, most likely for simplicity purposes. From the spiritual knowledge Alastor has gathered throughout his time in Hell, he's come to find that beings of higher ranks typically have a more abstract form. In that form, they are the most powerful, so to harness and control their magic, they take on a humanoid form.

"How interesting," Alastor hums, "A feline and a reptile."

Finally standing up, Angel whistles with a grin. "I've been with both, and I gotta tell ya, those scaley motherfu-"

Angel gets cut off by Vaggie punching him in the gut with the dull end of her spear. "Shut the fuck up, Angel!". Angel only laughs as he clutches his stomach.

Charlie winces and immediately but gently grabs her lover's elbows, making Vaggie lower her spear. "Okay, I think it's time to get ready for bed now."

The residents of the Hotel each do their nightly routine before ending the eventful day in their respective rooms. Though, with the most recent events taking place, they all find difficulty relaxing.

Can the Demiurge truly help them. . .?

They can only hope so.

[libraryofolive]

replacement

featuring: Satoru Gojo x gn!reader

genre: drabble, angst to fluff, hurt comfort (?)

word count: 2k

synopsis: Your boyfriend insists he's over his ex. But if he's over him, why does he keep calling you his ex's name?

warnings: mentions of alcohol, one swear word I think? Not proofread, so there may be some grammar/spelling mistakes

Like this? You can find my smaus here and my drabbles and other fiics here!

Do you have a request? You can find my rules for requesting here!

The first time it had happened, you understood. A slip of the tongue, you had dismissed it as. You knew your boyfriend, Satoru, hadn't had a real relationship since his messy break up with his ex, Suguru Geto, and old habits die hard. Satoru had apologised, you immediately forgave him, and you both moved on.

Or, at least, tried to move on.

It was hard to forget about the first time it happened when it kept happening.

The second time it happened, it was during your first real argument as a couple. You had confronted Satoru about his recklessness, trying to remind him that being the strongest didn't mean he was invincible. You were worried about him, and tried to express that. You weren't sure when it had started escalating, but at some point the two of you had started screaming at each other.

"Why can't you trust me, Suguru!" He had shouted. Hearing that name again, in such a tense, emotional moment had your heart dropping. You stared at Satoru, tears welling up, and silently left to return to your own apartment. The red hot anger you felt had subdued into a throbbing sadness as you lamented over Satoru's slip-up.

But, he apologised the next day. Both for the shouting, and the argument, and his use of the wrong name. He had had the same argument with his ex, he explained. That's why he said Geto's name instead of yours. Once again, you forgave him, and tried to forget.

Another month or so went by without another incident. You loved Satoru - he never failed to make you laugh, he spoiled you rotten, and you felt on top of the world when you were around him. He called you one night, uncharacteristically inebriated, asking you to pick him up. You struggled to make out his slightly slurred words over the music playing at whatever bar he was in, and eventually Shoko took his phone off him, talking to you instead.

"I don't get it, Sho, why has he been drinking? He told me he doesn't drink. Like, at all." You said to her as you pulled your shoes on, getting ready to collect your boyfriend.

"...He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I- nevermind. I'm sure he'll tell you tomorrow."

"Shoko."

"It's..." you heard her sigh heavily, "it's been two years since he and Geto broke up."

Your heart sank at her words. He went out and got hammered, when he normally turns his nose up at the thought of alcohol, because it was the anniversary of his break up with his ex? The one whose name he keeps calling you? It made you falter. Satoru was always adamant that he was over Geto. That he wouldn't get into another serious relationship until he knew he was over him, hence him solely hooking up with people for one night stands in the gap between your relationship and his and Geto's. You had believed him - he hadn't given you much of a reason not to.

You pulled yourself together and hauled his drunk ass home, his drunken state preventing him from noticing your poorly hid upset. Why hadn't he told you? That's what hurt the hardest. That he hadn't trusted you enough to tell you. You would have tried to understand, or at least go with him to keep an eye on him, but he just told you that he was going to see Shoko and to probably not wait up. You hadn't expected a drunken phone call from your Toru.

Satoru flopped onto your bed, his long limbs sprawled across the entirety of it.

"C'mon, Satoru, at least take your dirty clothes off."

"Are you trying to seduce me babe?" He slurred, attempting to wink at you.

"No. I just don't want your outside clothes on my bed. Get changed." You replied, throwing some pyjamas that he had previously left at your place at him.

" 'm comfy though."

"I don't care. Get changed." You winced at your tone, slightly harsher than you intended. You couldn't bring yourself to be overly concerned with his comfort when you could still feel his ... what was the word for it? Betrayal felt to harsh. Distrust? Deception?

"You remind me of him, yknow..." Satoru's voice was quiet and slow, and you could tell he was starting to fall asleep.

"Remind me of who?" You asked, already knowing the answer, not wanting to hear the answer, but needing him to confirm it.

"Suguru, silly." He yawned. Your heart heavied at his answer, even if you were expecting it. You looked back over at your boyfriend, who was now quietly snoring, still in his day clothes, taking up most of the bed. Where most days you loved to cuddle into Satoru's large form, feeling safe in his embrace, you couldn't bring yourself to lie next to him like nothing was wrong, like he hadn't hurt your heart in his drunken stupor. Instead, you turned out of your room, picking up a spare pillow and blanket, and made you way to your couch.

You struggled to sleep that night, overanalysing your entire relationship. Was that why Satoru was with you? You reminded him of his ex, one that he could still be in love with? When he closed his eyes, did he imagine Suguru Geto instead of you? Were you just a replacement for someone he could never have?

The next morning, Satoru's head was throbbing. He woke up achy, uncomfortable after sleeping in his regular clothes, and cold. Most notably, he woke up in your bed, but alone.

He slowly peeled himself off the bed, leaving your bedroom in attempt to hunt down some painkillers and his girlfriend. He found the former in your kitchen cupboard, downing a couple with a glass of water. It did little to stop the drilling into his skull, but he had more important things to worry about - where the hell were you?

His worry calmed when he noticed a large, blanket-covered lump on your sofa, your feet slightly sticking out of the bottom of it. Why had you slept on the couch? he wondered. He tried to think back to last night - he remembered ringing you, Shoko taking his phone from him, the car ride back to your apartment. One that, now the alcohol had stopped clouding his mind, he realised was full of an awkward silence that only ever happens when you're upset with him. What the hell did he do?

If he knew you weren't upset with him, he would've woken you up in some stupid way to entertain himself. He'd tickle you, or shout loudly in your ear, or even bang a pot and pan together - a practical joke you'd find funny once the irritation of being woken up faded away. But he knew that if he did that today, you'd just be more upset with him. Instead, he gently shook your slumbering body.

"Morning, baby." He whispered.

"Toru?" You asked, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You sat up slowly, stretching your back, sore from being in a cramped position all night.

"Yeah, 's me love. Why'd you sleep out here? You should've just shoved me over if I was taking up too much room."

"I'm mad at you." Any trace of sleep left your voice, being replaced by irritation.

"Did I say something stupid when I was drunk last night? I'm sorry, baby, you'd think that the strongest would be able to hold his liquor."

"It's not just that, Satoru."

"Please, talk to me baby." He moved your feet off the couch and onto the floor so that he could sit next to you. He reached for your hand, but you pulled it away before he could hold it.

"It's-" you sighed, "it's about Geto."

"Suguru? Why? Has he tried to talk to you or something? Baby, I've not spoken to him for two years."

"No- I know you've not seen him. It's not about him, per se, but it's- why is this so hard to put into words?"

"It's okay, I'm listening. Take your time."

"Are you still in love with him, Satoru?"

"What?" His eyes widened as he gasped the word out - that was the last thing he was expecting you to say, ever. "No, of course not! It's been two years, and I'm with you, baby. I wouldn't be with you if I still loved him. What has brought this on?"

You looked at your hands, which were folded in your lap, avoiding his piercing blue gaze. You could feel your eyes watering as you addressed one of your biggest insecurities in your relationship, one that you hadn't realised the extent of until the previous night.

"Last night, you told me that I remind you of him before you fell asleep. And you've called me Suguru before. I know that your relationship was intense, your break-up even more so, but.. it hurts, Toru. I didn't realise how much 'til last night. And Shoko told me that yesterday was the anniversary of your break up. That you were trying to drink your sorrows away. Why didn't you tell me?"

Satoru's heart sank at your confession. He knew he had slipped up a few times, calling you the wrong name. He should've told you what he was actually doing the day before to avoid this exact situation. He put one hand under your chin, lifting it so that you were looking into his eyes. He saw the pain he was feeling over hurting you reflected back tenfold in your own watery eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby. I should've told you what Shoko and I were really up to yesterday."

"Yeah, you should've..." you words trailed off into an awkward silence as you tried to collect your thoughts again. "I just, I don't get it. Why didn't you tell me? If you don't love him anymore, if you want to be with me, why were you drinking? It's so unlike you, Toru. I'm not saying that you shouldn't ever drink, but its scary when I've never seen you take even a sip of booze and then all of a sudden you're calling me to pick you up, drunk."

"I'm not going to lie to you baby, I still miss him. Part of me always will. He was my best friend, before we got together. It's the friendship, that closeness, that I miss. We didn't work together, romantically. I know that. What we have, the way I love you, it's completely different to how I loved Suguru. He was the best friend I ever had. I don't know if I'll ever find a friendship that deep ever again. Romantically, I've moved on from him completely. You are the only person I want to be with. But I think I'll always miss my friend."

During Satoru's speech, the tears in your eyes had started falling rapidly. You could see the pain of losing Suguru in his eyes, sure, but you could also see the love he felt for you. It was that look, that sincerity, that made you forgive him. That reassured you. Satoru Gojo is a charming man - everyone around him knows it. Its one of the things that drew you in in the first place, and he knew how to lay on that charm to get out of tricky situations. But looking into his eyes, seeing that love, reassured you that he wasn't trying to charm his way out of this. That his words reflect how he really felt.

"I- I understand. I think." You said quietly, taking his hands into your own.

"I am sorry I didn't tell you about yesterday."

"I know you are, baby." You leaned in and kissed him gently, a silent way of showing your forgiveness.

"I love you, sweetheart." He whispered, pulling away from your kiss but pressing your foreheads together, not wanting to lose its closeness.

"I know. I love you too." You whispered back, enjoying a raw moment with your lover.

[punkrockvalkyrie]

During an RP heavy session...

Y/N, as the DM: Your party has been walking on this path for a good couple of hours. Adam, could you please roll a perception check for me?

Adam, playing as a ranger: Alright. *Rolls dice* I rolled a 14, and with my +2 that makes it a 16.

Y/N: With a 16 you are able to see that the path splits into two different directions with a guard standing in front of each path.

Adam: I relay that to the group.

Y/N: Okay. As you all approach the fork in the road, the two guards stop you. The one on the left speaks, "One path will take you to the citadel, while the other will lead you to the UnderDark. And between the two of us (they gesture to themselves and the guard on the right), one speaks only the truth; the other nothing but lies. You may ask only two questions." So players, what do you do?

Beetlejuice (instantly): I WANT TO SEDUCE THE GUARDS!!

*cue various groans from the Maitlands and giggles from Lydia*

Barbara (out of character): Beetlejuice, please don't.

Y/N: Uh, not so fast Beej. You already seduced the shopkeeper in the last town you were in. Remember our deal?

BJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. (Mimicking Y/N's voice) ' You can seduce a NPC or villain one time each session, no more, no less. Deal?' You're no fun babes

Y/N: Okay, first of all, rude. I don't sound like that. Second of all, having fun doesn't mean trying to seduce everything with a pulse ALL THE TIME. *clears throat* Anyways, Lydia, Barbara, Adam! Any ideas?

Barbara, playing as a cleric: I'd like to cast Detect Good and Evil to get a sense of which one tells the truth.

Y/N: Interesting. Roll for it please.

Barbara: *rolls dice* Aw, I got an 8; and with my modifier of +1, that means I got a 9.

Y/N: So, with a 9, you get the faintest inkling that the guard on the right is the liar, but you're not entirely certain.

Lydia, as her rogue: I got this. I go up to the guard on the right and slap him across the face.

Barbara & Adam: LYDIA!

Y/N: *blinks* uh, okay. Roll to hit.

Lydia: *rolls dice* HA! Natural 20!

Y/N: That...that definitely hits. The guard's eyes begin to water as he gingerly holds his cheek after your palm cracks against his face.

Lydia: I then ask them, "Did I just slap you?"

Y/N: Still wincing from the slap, the guard mumbles a "...No"

Lydia: *smirks* Alright, I turn to the guard on the left and ask, "Which path leads to the citadel?"

Y/N: The guard looks at their companion, and then turns to you. "The path on the right will take you to the citadel. The road behind me leads to the UnderDark".

Lydia: Okay, let's take the path on the right.

BJ: *grinning* Wow Scarecrow. I didn't know you had it in ya. Well done.

Y/N: ... That wasn't what I had in mind, but good job nonetheless Lyds.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

(Swap AU)

*in Heaven there beautiful being called angels, the most beautiful angel of all was Adam the Archangel of Creativity, many of the other angels were jealous of Adam’s power and beauty, he was a tall angel with brown hair, gold eyes, white skin with red circles on his cheeks, and six gold wings this day Adam decided to go and fly down to Earth to the garden called Eden, he smiled as he entered the garden and made his way to what he was looking for, a man about a little five feet tall with blonde hair and blue eyes, ever since God created this man named Lucifer and his wife Lilith, Adam was drawn to this man, he frowned when he saw Lucifer’s wife Lilith walk up and start to yell at Lucifer, Luciger was very outspoken and Lilith slapped him and left*

Adam: Are you alright?

*Lucifer looked up and saw a beautiful angel in dark blue robes, it was the angel that came to watch him, he felt being slapped worth it to have his angel talk to him, the angel walked over and touched his cheek*

Lucifer: I am used to it, you know my name. What is your name?

Adam: Adam Morningstar.

Lucifer: Adam Morningstar is a beautiful name,

Adam: Thank you, may I come and visit you more often.

Lucifer: Yes.

*Adam smiled, it was at that moment he decided that Lucifer be married to him and not Lilith, he would gently seduce Lucifer and then when the time was right he would give Lucifer the Forbidden Fruit, Adam could also give Lucifer babies by getting pregnant, they would be so happy together, Adam blushed when Lucifer kissed Adam’s hand*

Lucifer: Come with me Adam, let me show you my home.

*Lucifer walked through the garden while Adam followed through the garden as he told him all about the garden he called home*

Adam crouched down into a cave that Lucifer called his home. It was nice and cool and not too damp.

Adam: This is very nice.

Lucifer: Thank you. I don't share it with Lilith.

Adam looked at him puzzled: Why not?

Lucifer: She can be..... A little much at times and I just need to be alone without her. I don't think I make her very happy ......

This made Adam very sad, he knew the humans were made to populate the earth but I'd they didn't even like each other longer enough to have a conversation that was never going to happen.

Adam: Well, she's a fool for not seeing how wonderful you are.

Lucifer smiled, Adam made him so happy. Happier than Lilith did.

He showed Adam all the little things that he kept in his cave from all around the garden to make it feel more like a home rather than a cave.

Adam: You're very talented Luicfer.

Lucifer: Thank you.

They spent the whole afternoon together just in his cave. They jumped when they heard Lilith calling for Lucifer.

Good thing she didn't know where this cave was.

[talonabraxas]

Khamael , Archangel of Mars Talon Abraxas

Samael is the Archangel of Mars – prince of the fifth heaven, lord of war and pestilence, and angel of death and destruction. He is the Sathan (Adversary) who visited wrath upon Job, slew the firstborn in Egypt, and (as the Guardian Angel of Easu) wrestled with Jacob. As the Sathan he accuses men of their wrongdoings in the Divine Court. Samael should not be confused with the modern Christian concept of Lucifer or the Devil. Samael is not the source of all evil, nor did he ever wage war upon the Throne of God.

He was, however, cast down to Earth when he refused to bow to Adam as the Image of God. (He had previously sworn to never bow to anything less than God Himself.) Once here, he took Lilith as his wife and has acted as the Divine Accuser, Enforcer and Angel of Death ever since. While he is still very much in the employ of God, he persecutes and seduces mankind when he is ordered to do so.

(Some sources equate Samael with Shemyaza, the leader of the fallen Watchers from the Book of Enoch. This is likely due to both Samael and Shemyaza being punished for disobedience, yet each retaining their positions as celestial angels. However the angels share no other characteristics, and this similarity does not prove the two angels are one and the same.)

The ancient Gnostics elevated him to the position of Demiurgos (the Creator) and interpreted his name to mean “Blind God.” They also called him Ialdabaoth and Saklas. His form was described as a lion-headed serpent. He and his angels (called archons) had created the world as a prison where they could feed upon mankind’s suffering. Later forms of Gnosticism, however, did not equate Ialdabaoth with Samael.

Samael was at one point regarded as the Patron Angel of Rome – and it is likely in this aspect that we see him (as the Dragon with Seven Heads) engaging in single combat against Michael (the Patron Angel of Israel) in the Revelation of St. John.

More recent tradition has given him the name Khamael (Camael, Camuel, etc) – the result of mistranslating a Hebrew Samekh (S) as a Kaph (Kh). In this form he is regarded primarily as the Angel of War and Divine Severity.

Invitation to Samael

I invoke thee, Samael! Holy Archangel of the Martial sphere! I call upon thee within thy realm of Severity and Fear!

Samael, Powerful, Bloody, Sword-bearer, Bold, Untamed, Terrestrial Fire, against whom none can defend himself, thou who destroys the strong and powerful, Lord of fiery heat – and of the planet of blood!

Samael, who art the Adversary, accusing men of their wrongdoing. Fearsome warrior and divine enforcer! You who inflicted Job with sorrow, who slew the firstborn of Egypt, and wrestled with Jacob. It is you who bears the wrath of God unto the Earth! You who overthrow nations and cast kings down from their thrones!

O Samael, we have called upon you [here list the reasons you have called him in the past, if any, and the positive results that came from those workings]. For all of this we thank you!

Come thou forth and partake of these offerings, which we have prepared in thy honour and to the glory of Elohim Gibor. May you find them pleasing and empowering. I ask that you offer your blessings to my home and family, and bear our offerings and prayers of thanksgiving to the Divine Court. We petition thee for strength and protection in all of our undertakings, for defense of our home, and that the light of thy wisdom should guide and keep us at all times. In the name of Elohim Gibor. Amen.

[libby-for-life]

Bonfire: Day 6

If Adam was being honest with himself, he had no idea what was going to happen at this bonfire. He tried asking Lucifer if he could bring Emily but the smaller man simply shook his head. "Sorry, Adam. What I and many others have planned is not meant for children." Adam tilted his head. "Hu?"

"Just bring yourself, Adam. That's all you need to do." Adam nodded hesitantly. As Lucifer winked at him, he said, "Don't be late. 10:30. Sharp. I'm not the biggest fan of people who are late." Lucifer said seriously.

"Wait, where is this bonfire happening?" Adam asked as Lucifer made sure the taller man looked presentable to go inside his home.

"Don't worry about that. Just be ready at 9:00. The rest will happen on its own." Lucifer said vaguely and this time Adam had a hard time making sense of it. "I—I...what?"

Lucifer silenced him with a kiss on his cheek. "Remember...don't be late. I would love it if you were there." Lucifer whispered in a husky voice and Adam had to suppress a shiver. "Goodbye, Adam. It was nice meeting you." And then he was gone down the path.

Adam watched him until he couldn't see him anymore before heading in. "Adam? Is that you?! Where have you been?" Aunt Sera yelled from the kitchen making Adam sigh. Emily was more then likely asleep.

"I was off making a new fr—"

"I've been worried sick!" She said, smothering him in a bone-crushing hug. "What were you doing? You weren't doing anything sinful were you?" Any worry was now gone and in place of it was a suspicious woman who thought everything in life would send you to Hell.

"Adam, what were you doing?" She hissed.

"I made a friend!" Adam yelped out quickly, wanting to leave the situation. Sera blinked before smiling. "Really? My, who is he? As long as you weren't alone with a girl, I suppose I can be forgiving of this." Adam felt his eye twitch. "No. Not a girl. His name is Lu, uh, Lewis."

"Hm, oh my baby boy," Sera said in a sickeningly sweet tone that never failed to make Adam gag. He was twenty-five for God's sake! Can't she treat him like an adult?! "I'm trying to protect you. I know girls. I know what they're like. Little minxes that are always trying to corrupt the good boys. Boys like you Adam. So I'll ask again. Is Lewis actually a boy?" She towered over Adam as stood his ground.

"Yes. He's a boy." Sera stared at him for a minute longer before she nodded. "Bring him over sometime then, dear. I have some paperwork to take care of." She walked off to her office, leaving Adam alone.

"Goddammit," Adam whispered. "Why does she act like that?" Aunt Sera had it in her head that all the girls were hatching some nefarious plan to corrupt Adam. It made no sense and he was tired of not being able to see Lute often enough or having to plan to see each other in secret so Sera didn't think Lute was trying to 'seduce' him.

They were both gay so it wasn't like a relationship was going to go anywhere. He sighed and decided to go to bed. It may have only been 9:30, but he was exhausted.

[cherripentiousshipper]

Unpopular Opinions about characters' sexualities to make the show more adult and complex, cause I love dark romances(pt1/??)

(I take criticism as long as You're polite, thank you)

So, first of all, I would've rather Alastor to be Pansexual, not in the nowadays way, but actually in the Freud -would fuck a tree if It was a taboo- kinda of way.

Stay calm, I have my reasons, and I will tell you all of them.

Like first thing first, it'd be way much more in character for him. He's a serial killer, and a cannibal.

He could have stopped in hell, but actually went even more wild. Thus meaning that he actually has a very passional and lustful nature, like many serial killers, and especially cannibals have.

You may think this is to be connected to the sin of Gluttony, but not at all! He doesn't act rationally to reach satisfaction like a gluttonous person would; instead he acts instinctively, he's driven by his needs, he has no control over himself, so he seeks It on others.

You see as you may have noticed, he is very violent and bloothirsty, ruthless, and merciless. All these characteristics are his true nature that he has to repress in front of others.

So having him hypersexual would've been a better call in my opinion. (Having to repress a lot, means you'd need to.. ahem... "relax" a lot.)

Or rather making him extremely into paraphilias to be considered to only engage with normal living humans (or rather human souls) when He needs to manipulate them.

Like imagine him engaging with overlords only to reach agreements or make pacts, or steal useful informations, (similarly to early Stoliz, but with real pacts where he owns sinners' Souls).

Or like not engaging in any way when he knows that it's the best way to manipulate some others. In this very case for exemple imagine Vox going totally insane knowing that even his situationship (aka Valentino or p.o.s.) went to bed with Alastor, but he didn't, doesn't, and never will. He'd become putty in Al's hands without even having to make a deal!

Plus, mega bonus: if he made a pact with Lilith he can destroy Lucifer just with that information. And maybe He never even went to bed with her, but way worst! He has had her trust for all these years, and been at her service all this time, hating the restrains, but adoring and being allowed to adore the restrainer.

To seduce her, to amuse her, to be at her leash, to be owned by her, all while Lucifer could only dream her and see her in pictures! Damn the rivalry would be beautiful! (And a great mirror to the one Luci has with Adam "bow chica bow now!").

And I would not even want him to be open about It, the other way around! Since It's still a need, he represses It in public. Like he acts like he always does in the serie 'cause that's the mask he wears!

But once he wears It off, he's unleashing everything that's underneath!

This would definitely make him even more of a creep! And I would love to see the characters deal with him.

I can see Alastor turning off Angels' advances, 'cause he knows that he's making Angel insecure, or rather secure enough to make him feel bad about self-ojectifiying (like what happened between Angel and Husk, difference being that Alastor would bribe Angel to make him listen, instead of helping him).

I can also picture him trying to seduce both Vaggie and Charlie, but losing interest as they're both too loyal to each other, while also feeling incredibly powerful when he makes a pact with each of them.

Maybeee he has intercourse with Rosie while or after having dinner with her.

Not sure about the rest.

Aaaaand done for now! Stay tuned to know which characters I would've liked to see as Aces instead of Alastor! Yeeeeeeeh!

Thank you for reading, go drink a glass of water at least, and have a nice day! Goodbye!!

[meltorights]

WAS the forbidden fruit a metaphor for sex?

in short, no--but,

god blesses humankind after he makes them, and sexuality is part of the blessing. the book of genesis is a patchwork compiled from four different sources. in particular, the creation account has two sources, the first "god said let there be light." in this account god makes humans after ordering the whole universe in seven days. he then tells them to "be fruitful and multiply."

but in the second (and older) story, God comes down to earth. he takes clay. molds it. breathes life into it. and it becomes the human. then he makes all the animals to be its companion. this is an image of god experimenting. failing, if we may be so bold to say. each time, the human names the animal, but cannot see them as its companion.

and then god puts it to sleep, and takes a bone, and makes the woman--here, the hebrew begins using specifically gendered words for "man" and "woman," and when the "man" wakes up, he says: "here is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh," recognizing someone like himself at last.

and the account of the Fall is a continuation of this story. like many of the stories from the first few books of the bible, it's sparse in detail, it does not give motivations or elaborate explanations, it just narrates events. a man and a woman in a garden. two trees, one of which god forbids them to eat from. a snake (certainly not, in the human author's mind, the devil). a question. they eat. and they are driven out.

and on one level we should simply take this story at face value. we can't really reconstruct an "authentic meaning" without doing some violence to the text.

these books do not deal in complex metaphors or analogies. they do not skirt around sex--whether it is violent and contrary to the law or not. people "lay with each other." the wisdom books of the bible employ metaphor--whether it's the misogynistic warnings of sirach or the exuberant celebration of sex and bodies in song of songs--but these earlier text simply narrate. majestically and unconcerned about the questions they raise.

and these gaps leave for all kinds of explanations, filling-ins, that seem plausible! a man and a woman lead many people to think it must be about sex, or about seduction--that eve, being a woman, seduced adam into taking the fruit, and that he was to weak to resist her and impose his (god's!) authority. or that the tree of knowledge of good and evil represents our desire to make whatever we choose "good" or "evil" and thus impose our will on the world. but none of that is in the text.

the one hint of sex is that when they eat the fruit they realize they are naked. but the story is not so much concerned with nakedness as with shame. they make clothes from themselves to cover their bodies from each other, they hide from God, telling him they were afraid because they were naked.... the fruit is not some "Unchastity" or "Impurity," the fruit is what makes unchastity and impurity possible. before they were perfectly at home in their bodies, now they see them as a source of shame. they are alienated from their own bodies, in their shame alienated from each other and from God, even from the earth--now they must sweat in labor to eat.

you could think that in the garden the first humans had perfect sexual freedom, without shame, without inhibition, and without any kind of abuse of power or exploitation. and then they lost it all.

that's not in the text, but like i said, the text is sparse. if anything is sexual, it's these gaps the text leaves for us--they're erotic, like clothes that conceal just the right parts of the body. they're what invite us to penetrate the text, to meld with it, to be rough and passionate with it. i normally don't go in for the whole "text as orifice" metaphor: it seems a bit irreverent, a bit embarrassing, a bit try-hard at times, but here it's true..... the holes in the text can enable us to love it. so, in that sense, the fruit could be sex; as a gay person who grew up in a deeply homophobic catholic setting, I can certainly relate to such a reading, un-textual though it may be. we must recognize that we cannot read the text without doing some level of reading into, without penetrating--the text wants us to do so.

and for christians, of course, the text, the Word, the Logos, is God.

[obsidianpen]

The whole scene with Liam using his Veela magic to get past Hermione’s memories was so creepy, and then him stealing a kiss 😫 Liam, no consent is never okay boi! But then you also revealed Liam experienced abuse due to his creature magic, which is so flipping complex and fantastic character development/choices on your part. Like him doing that is not black and white. And that sure af does not justify him mentally diving into Hermione mind, kissing her while she’s under his influence, but it adds weight to his decision. Ahhhh shades of grey all the way down! I love your writing Pen

thank you anon! Been getting lots of comments on the Liam portion of the last chapter, so I’m just gonna address a lot of them here:

I think it’s interesting how very up-in-arms angry a lot of people are over that specifically. Yes, of course it was morally Bad and it’s totally natural and legit to be super pissed that Liam would do that…. But I also think it’s worth looking at things from his perspective. Is it assault to interrogate a criminal like that in wizarding Britain? I’d say yes (legally in the magical world idk, probably very gray area; it would depend on if there are specific laws in place barring part-creatures from using their abilities on detained criminals… unclear, when things like veritaserum are okay, so yeah idk), but there’s a lot going on in the background that we (you? Hermione? The readers?) aren’t seeing. The real negotiations are happening between Madison and Dumbledore while the minister is out of commission. They’re both willing to ignore a few laws to get what they want because - here it is - they think they are doing the right thing.

well, okay, Madison’s being compelled by the MACUSA too, but he also thinks he’s doing the best thing for hermione by saving her from a trial in Britain. Isn’t even wrong really.

but Dumbledore - easy to see him as evil rn, but remember, he suspects riddle of murdering a poor innocent child! He thinks (correctly!) that riddle killed Myrtle and got hagrid to take the fall. He sees an opportunity to right that wrong, to clear Hagrid’s name, and to prevent someone like riddle - a murderer - from being free in the world and killing again. Because he will. And does, canonically. Dumbledore doesn’t even know about the fact that he killed his dad and grandparents yet!

so enter Liam - he honestly cared about hermione; she helped him get this job he’s been wanting, he thought she was long-time friends with his bestie… he believed all of it and thought they’d have a future as fun colleagues at the very least. Then she suddenly vanished with this creepy (to him - and he’s not wrong) guy who shows up out of nowhere and then he learns not too much later that she attacked Walt, fucked with his memories, and then lied to all of them; Walter gets fired, and then when they track her down, he learns that she also attacked and modified the memories of some witch and her house-elf in Britain (oh and she nearly killed the minister and two other people in her escape attempt)…

From where he’s standing, hermione is not a good person. She’s assaulted and modified the minds of several people, she’s stolen and used some old lady’s gold and name and affluence, she’s invented an entirely new fake identity…

so, when Albus Dumbledore and Lester Madison, two of the most powerful wizards he knows of (one of him is now his boss) asks if he can get these memories from her using a bit of his special brand of magic… what is he supposed to say? When it would, in the end, conceivably save both her (by getting her back to America) and put away a much more sinister wizard (if Dumbledore is correct and this creepy dude that whisked hermione away is actually a killer… and he is!). He may not have been jazzed to do it - he never tried to seduce her in America before, after all, and never would have - but one doesn’t say no to your very adamant new boss and freaking Dumbledore, the guy who defeated Grindelwald, especially not when the ends really do seem to justify the means (to them, at least). And all of this is not even touching upon the very vague hinting at Liam’s personal history with abuse.

anyway, kind of a rant, just had to put it out there because yeah, what Liam did was icky and nonconsensual but what hermione has done to people many times was also icky and nonconsensual and arguably a whole lot worse (imo, of course, but everyone is entitled to think differently there!).

[theflirtmeister]

Give me that dad bod adam. Pretty please with a cherry on top

sorry if u wanted porn, instead u got adam reflecting on getting older and being a dad

It takes a good ten minutes before Adam gives up and balls up his skinny jeans, tossing them into the growing pile of clothes to donate. There’s no way in hell that he will ever get back into these, not with all the diets or pound-of-flesh-traps in the world. 

He is officially too old for skinny jeans.

God. When did this happen? It feels like he blinked one day as a scrawny twenty-something, and woke up in an adult body, with wrinkles and hair growing in weird places and a shoulder that hurts in the winter. Who is that man, with laughter lines and eye creases? When did he get here? Adam never thought he’d make it past thirty.

“How is the wardrobe decluttering going?” Lawrence asks from the doorway.

He looks as handsome as ever, with hair slightly grey, which drives Adam completely crazy. Adam doesn’t know how Lawrence’s patients cope, he’d be throwing himself across the room at Dr Gordon, cancer or no cancer.

“I don’t fit into any of my clothes,” Adam says despondently, “I’m going to turn up to the new house in just my underwear.”

Lawrence steps into the room and wraps his arms around Adam, pressing a kiss to his temples. “A very nice image, however.” He says. “I’ll have to buy you a whole new wardrobe.”

“My sugar daddy,” Adam says, batting his eyelashes at Lawrence. “Can I have a pony too?”

“Whatever you want,” Lawrence promises. “I’ll even get you a Malibu Barbie.”

Adam fake gasps in delight, and they both end up snorting with laughter. Adam wriggles out of Lawrence’s grasp to pick up another shirt from the pile and hold it up against himself. It’s black, with a picture of a cat skeleton licking an ice cream that he thinks he may have shoplifted from Hot Topic. He doesn’t even know why he still has it. 

“Too short?” Adam asks, not even bothering to try it on.

“Diana seems to have cultivated a wardrobe entirely of crop tops.” Lawrence says in the voice of a man who has seen his little girl grow up before his eyes. “She’s refusing to get rid of any of them.”

“Are you scarred for life?” Adam teases, throwing the shirt onto the donate pile.

“She wants her belly button pierced.” Lawrence blurts out, sounding horrified. “Alison didn’t even blink when Diana brought it up in front of us - an actual piercing Adam.”

“She has her ears pierced,” Adam shrugs. “And I remember someone enjoying my tongue piercing when I still had it.”

“That’s different, and you know it,” Lawrence says warningly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I don’t want her doing anything like that to her body before she’s eighteen.”

“Why are you such a square?” Adam says, nudging Lawrence’s good leg with his foot. “You’ll just make her rebel and go to some dodgy guy's basement to get it done.”

Lawrence shudders. “Is that how you got your piercings?”

“You going to judge me if I did?” Adam quirks his eyebrow.

“Yes.” Lawrence says firmly, and Adam rolls his eyes.

“You’re such a Dad.” He says, picking up another shirt to try on, this one a baby blue button-up from Target. He thinks he might have bought it for one of Lawrence’s award ceremonies - can definitely remember Lawrence tearing it off him in the cab ride home. 

“Not to burst your bubble,” Lawrence says, watching as Adam pulls off his shirt, exposing the curve of his stomach, the dark hair of his happy trail. Adam feels like he should put on a show, hum some strip-tease music. “But you are also a Dad too.”

“Step Dad.” Adam corrects, then pauses. “Fuck. I’m a stepdad.”

“A handsome one at that,” Lawrence says, not looking at Adam’s face. “Seducing all the parents at school pick up.”

Adam places his hands on his hips and studies Lawrence. Lawrence is tracking Adam’s body with his eyes, carving him up like a piece of meat. It makes the back of Adam’s neck go hot, that they’re still into each other, that they still make each other’s hearts and other organs flutter.

They’re probably going to be fucking in the nursing home, sneaking into each other’s rooms with their Zimmer frames. Diana’s going to have a nightmare on her hands, Adam thinks to himself smugly. Serves her right for all the crop tops and piercings. 

“Parents can’t keep their hands off me,” Adam says, tossing the blue shirt back onto the pile. “Especially this really hot guy, with blonde hair and a prosthetic foot.”

“Oh yeah?” Lawrence says, finally looking up at Adam. “Thinking about having an affair?”

“He has no idea what’s coming to him,” Adam smirks. He steps forward, and Lawrence spreads his legs so that Adam can fit neatly between them. “Think he can handle it?”

“He’s had some practice,” Lawrence says, hooking his thumbs into Adam’s underwear. “Spent most of his forties sleeping with the most gorgeous man in the world.”

“Is that right?” Adam runs his hands through Lawrence’s hair. “Sounds like a good time to me.”

Lawrence tugs Adam closer, pressing a kiss to his stomach. His mouth tickles, making Adam shiver, so Lawrence repeats the actions until Adam is squirming. He might be too old to ever get ID’d again, but he's not so old that he doesn’t turn into a mess when Lawrence touches him. 

“Beautiful,” Lawrence whispers against his skin. “I’m so lucky.”

“Such a fucking idiot,” Adam says fondly, ducking his head down to kiss Lawrence. “God I love you.”

He wants this, forever. He wants to be old with Lawrence, wants to see how life spills out for them. He wants to get fat with Lawrence on good food and wine, and spends hours in bed together, re-acquainting their bodies. He wants to organise their pain medication in one of those fancy boxes that have the days of the week on them, and be lectured by Lawrence when he forgets to take his tablets.

“I love you too,” Lawrence grins, and drags Adam down on top of him, both of them giggling like teenagers.

[crossedsabers10s]

@splatooshy RIP shower scene, you shall be missed dearly

It ain’t done, but I do have the bones of some stuff:

I keep my heart under the floorboards (in the dark, far away from yours)

Amnesia trope. Damon thinks it’s sometime before canon starts—pre meeting Elena. Technically set during S5-6 but timelines meh

“Maybe we should untie him,” the girl with Katherine’s face says.

Who is not Katherine.

She had been very adamant about that one.

Despite looking just like her, knowing Damon’s name, and being a vampire.

Damon does his best to smile benignly at her from where he is chained to a chair in the middle of the Boarding House den. The rest of the furniture had been cleared back and away, leaving him the main attraction.

He’d woken up here, restrained and surrounded by strangers and slightly more familiar strangers.

There’s Not-Katherine—who smiles back at him, but it’s strained around the edges—orbiting around the room, around Damon at its center, but she never comes too close. Right now, she’s hovering next to one of the other girls.

The one Not-Katherine is standing next to is blonde. Baby faced with big blue eyes, she looks to be around Stefan’s age. She also, Damon knows just from her expression whenever she looks his way, hates his guts.

For some reason. That he can’t remember.

There’s another girl, one who looks just slightly older than the other two, who had been the one to pronounce him cursed upon entering the room and getting a good look at his aura or vibes or whatever it is that witches use to determine such things. She is both tiny and cute and gives him the impression that she is both capable and fully prepared to set him on fire.

His brother—one of those oh-so-familiar strangers—frowns Damon’s way when he sees him smiling at Not-Katherine. Probably (correctly) divining that he wants out of these chains and isn’t above seducing someone to do it. His hair is different from when Damon had last seen him, but that displeased twist of the lips is just the same.

The man lounging in the corner—blond and settled into his skin in a way that means old vampire, beware—is as unfamiliar as the witch and the blonde. Something about him and his bored amusement at the situation puts Damon’s teeth on edge.

[Tries to act innocent/uneasy to win sympathy. They all know him way better than he realizes. It doesn’t work.]

Plan A foiled, he settles in to people watch.

Elena-Who-Not-Katherine and Stefan are standing intimate-friend-or-more close to each other, speaking in hushed voices about a bunch of names Damon doesn’t recognize. Them being so up close and obviously cozy makes him want to frown. Or pry them apart with a crowbar. She may not be Katherine, but she looks exactly the same, and the scene is bringing back memories he’d rather forget.

Bonnie is trailing one finger over the pages of what Damon would put good money on being a grimoire.

That’s when Enzo walks in.

He glances Damon’s way, raises an eyebrow, then deposits the cloth-wrapped parcel he’d been carrying onto a side table beside the witch. He sets a steaming beverage down next to it.

Oh, Damon thinks, realizing something, watching Bonnie thank him before going back to her book.

He’s dreaming.

That’s it.

That explains everything.

Kind of a strange dream, but whatever. He’s had stranger.

He frowns down at the chains, trying not to wonder what Freud would make of his subconscious deciding on this.

“Why is Damon in chains?” a voice more familiar than the face it belongs to asks.

Damon would like an answer to that one too, but doesn’t want to soul-search to get it. He’d need a compass and maybe a map.

“Magic retrograde amnesia,” Caroline explains airly.

“Right,” Enzo’s voice says. “Of course, why wouldn’t it be? But the chains?”

[Exposition on how they ended up with Damon cursed. Damon, believing himself to be asleep, starts being more blatant in his escape attempts. He begins to injure his wrists trying to break the cuffs, rationalizing away the pain and blood as it being a realistic dream. He’s also beginning to dissociate, and the pain takes longer to register than the scent of blood mingling with Bonnie’s coffee.]

“If I unlock this,” he says, reaching for the chains like him unlocking them is a forgone conclusion, but is curious as to the answer anyway, “what will you do?”

This is, of course, where Damon promises not to harm a single hair on any of their heads. He’s going to school his face into—not earnestness, as they’d never believe that from him—but stoic agreement and swear to behave. It’s in his best interests to do so.

If this was a real situation and not a product of his fucked up brain, he might have.

“I don’t know,” he says, honesty raw as his wrists.

Enzo unlocks the chains.

[Damon stands up—except his body language is off. Enough so that the others notice. Moving too fast, blurring between motions and then being too-still.]

Staring Not-Enzo (It Can’t Be Enzo, Enzo is Dead, Damon Killed Him) dead (ha) in the eye, he bends his right index finger back until it’s pointing in the wrong direction.

He barely notices when half the room recoils at the sound.

“What was that for?” Enzo’s ghost asks him, unflinching.

Damon frowns at him, then down at his hand. He sharply twists the bone back into alignment.

He looks around the room, taking in an array of wary (Stefan and Bonnie), worried (Elena), and disgusted (Caroline) faces. Klaus is watching him like he’s a boring movie that has just become interesting enough to pay attention to.

The pain from that hadn’t worked either. He’s still dreaming.

“Damon.”

Unable to quite help it, Damon looks at his favorite nightmare. “Yes?”

Dark eyes drop down to where Damon’s finger is healing. He flexes his hand, finding it most of the way there. “Why?”

“I want to wake up,” he explains.

“Not that I don’t like seeing you—not hating me even!” he tacks on, lest he somehow hurt this dream shade’s feelings. He’s sick of hurting Enzo in his dreams. If he can avoid it, he will. “But I want to wake up now. Before the screaming starts.”

Or the smoke.

That’s what he remembers most. Not the fire. Not really. It’s the smoke. Thick in the air, in his throat, his nostrils, his lungs. Bodies beginning to burn and vervain-perfumed failure.

Dream-Enzo keeps his hands in his. It’s warm, bordering on hot, to Damon’s chilled fingers. He half expects the touch to begin to sear any moment now, or for Enzo’s visage to crumble away to ash. “You always do that?” he asks, dark eyes unreadable. Or maybe they are readable, and Damon just doesn’t want to read them. “Hurt yourself to wake up?”

Damon shrugs best he’s able. “If it works….”

Something about that slow nod, the understanding there in those eyes, makes him keep talking.

“Sleepwalking was the worst, but that didn’t last too long.” Only a measly year or two. What’s a year to forever? “Sleeping with people made it better, but I kept waking up to corpses in the beginning. Which, gross. Cleaning up a body first thing in the morning sucked.” When he bothered to clean them up.

The smile doesn’t quite reach those eyes—which are almost spot on, but there’s something different there, something new that doesn’t match his memories all the way; something about that hurts, that he can’t remember Enzo quite right, even while dreaming—but it’s close. “Shave, brush your teeth, hydrochloric acid?”

Damon flexes his fingers, regretting it when the dream takes that as a sign to have Enzo let go and step back. He doesn’t let that distance linger. This is his not-yet-nightmare, he’s going to milk it for all it’s worth. He captures Dream Enzo’s hands with his own, reveling in how lifelike this is.

Apparently, the action has surprised his own subconscious, because Dream Enzo blinks a little down at their entwined hands, one eyebrow briefly raising.

Blah blah blah—technically the scene ends with Damon having issues with his switch, fluctuating back and forth between too many emotions and suppressed ones.

I should prob finish it …at some point lol

[alcoris-shiz]

The Apple Falls Far From The Tree

A/N: So this is a series I'm writing, not sure if I'll release more parts because it was a coping series for me. The rundown on why you may not want to read later parts is because there is Non-Con/R@p3 for the storyline. But I'll make it skippable, you can just skip chapter 2 and won't have to read any of it.

｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ~ Master List~ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Chapter 1: His Dear Doe

Overall Description: (Mentions of R@p3) As the child of Lucifer, heir to the throne of Hell, and badass with a badass boyfriend, people normally know not to mess with you. But Adam has other plans, he has a friend in Hell (Didn’t think he was capable of that? Me neither, but this guy helped him- if you’re wondering, it was Striker). He decides he’s gonna make his mark. During the fight you get caught and used, left there but he doesn’t want you dead. He brags about what he did to your boyfriend on the roof convincing you he was dead. He goes back to fighting bragging about what he had done to you, causing Lucifer and Charlie to go feral. Getting stabbed by Niffty doesn’t stop the fact that he left his mark when you fell pregnant. Lucifer gives you a million chances to abort the baby, but you have a chance that it is Alastor’s. When you have twins they come out looking like complete opposites. But raising them in the hotel is what you think will ensure that they are safe.

Chapter Description: The night before the big extermination, you and Alastor have a nice evening together.

~ SMUT (❤️ ω ❤️) ~

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Y/N POV

I sat against the balcony, glancing next to me to my partner. He glanced back at me and his smile softened. “My Deerling, what’s got you all tight?” he asked softly scooting closer to me. I sighed, stupid deer always could read me best. I leaned over as he put up his finger, “Tis Tis, Mon Cheri- Don’t you think I could get an answer before you try to seduce me?” He whispered before scooting back. I giggled and smiled at him softly, “It’s nothing my love, I’m just worried about tomorrow. My sister has worked so hard for this, she has to win, I have to make sure of it.” 

I heard static before my partner hummed, “Well how about we focus on tonight? I’ll court you, then when we can perhaps… make an occasion out of the celebration tomorrow?” I giggled and nodded, looking up at him. I felt as his hand grabbed my waist and yanked me tight against his hip. “Well, what do you say we get out of here while the night is still young, my doe.” I looked up at him and blushed. “Do you mean… actual like… sex?” I whispered the last word. I saw his smile widen and his eyes go dark. “Who said anything about that my Dear! Unless that’s what you want?” I paused and looked down at our friends and my sister talking to each other, distracted.

“We’ve never… I always assumed you weren’t into that.” He grunted and looked at me with an irked smile. “My doe, if I didn’t know any better, that sounds like you thought I wouldn’t bed you.” I felt his claws dig into my waist and I whimpered.

“I just had made the wrong assumptions my love. I would love nothing more than that.” I swear his smile widened. “Well, great! Then first, as talked about over the last year, I would love to give you a gift, but it is downstairs!” he said happily as he picked up my hand and kissed my knuckles gently. He led me downstairs and he brought me over to where our friends and family stood. My father had even joined us tonight at the request of Charlie. 

Charlie spotted us and jumped up excitedly getting strange looks from the other company. I looked at her and laughed as she handed something to Alastor who bowed and thanked her. “What are you two up to? Should I be worried?” I asked as I faced Charlie, she shook her head and pointed behind me. I turned and saw Alastor on one knee, holding a box with a ring inside. I covered my mouth, shocked. “My dear doe, would you do me the honor of marrying me?” he asked softly looking at me with a soft smile. “Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you, I don’t know how I could say no,” I  said as he slipped the ring on my finger and kissed my knuckles slowly and up my arm as he stood. 

“What? My baby is getting married?!” I heard my dad shout. I turned around to see none other than the big boss of hell himself, I smiled and nodded hugging him. He picked me up and spun me as everyone else came and congratulated us. I giggled as I felt a familiar hand grasp my waist. I leaned into it as I was pulled against Alastors chest. “My dear, I think it’s time just the two of us go celebrate our engagement,” he whispered into my ear, breathing slowly down my neck. I shuddered as he spun me towards him and handed me a glass of champagne. “Mmm anything for you my love,” I whispered. 

(AFAB written Smut)

I groaned as I felt my back slam on the bed. I looked up at Alastor as he undressed himself slowly. I smiled at him and raised my arms above my head, his smile went dark as he slipped off his underwear finally. 

“My Darling Doe, be a doll and spread your legs for me.” I did as told and spread myself open for him, I reach down and spread open my pussy for him to see. I watched his face seemingly go out of character as he seemed to short-circuit like Vox. I giggled and spread my legs farther. 

“Come on, please Dear Future Husband, why wait and make me take this torture? I’m ready for you,” I beckoned him with my finger and I watched as he slowly got his senses back and crawled on the bed towards me. I gasped as I felt his claw circle my pussy, slowly pushing a digit inside of me. I moaned wantonly and pushed my hips up into his hand. He leaned down and our lips met, kissing passionately I smiled into the kiss.

Finger after finger made work into my pussy as I groaned softly each time, him slowly working me open. He smiled and pulled out while I whimpered, giving him a kicked puppy look. “Oh Darling Dear, please, I’ll be making work of you soon.” I whimpered again as he made his work between my legs, spreading me open like a flimsy doll. He slipped his cock into my pussy and slowly pushed in.

“Oh Dear, you feel so tight around me… such a good little toy I have.” He groaned as he rutted into me repeatedly. I pushed against his cock and he rutted into me, this caused him to let out a loud moan. I felt him shove into me again, I let out a scream and reached up grabbing onto his antlers. I felt him stop and look at me, his face now dark and scary. But I had a feeling, he wasn’t going to hurt me. “Oh my little doe, don’t you know better than to mess with me in such a manner by now?” he said smirking before grabbing my hips and slamming himself into me again and again with no stop insight. I was flipped onto my stomach as he raised my ass and shoved his cock back into my pussy. “Now my dear doe,” I grunted out still going at an inhumane pace, turning my cervix into mush. “I’m going to breed you, my pretty little thing. I’m going to breed you so everyone knows who you belong to. I will make sure that you are marked so well, you’ll look so pretty with all my markings all over you my little doe,” I whimpered and nodded my head. “Yes sir, I’m all yours Alastor, please knock me up,” I whimpered as he fucked me harder. “Oh my doe, of course, I’ll knock you up. All pretty with MY baby,” he growled into my ear. I nodded as he reached down and rubbed my clit quickly, just enough to vibrate lowly. I moaned out quietly. “Tsk my dearest, I said I wanted to hear you screaming my name tonight and I believe that is what I will be getting.”

He slowly pulled out until only the tip rested inside me and paused, “What’s my name dearest?” Alastor asked, voice low and quiet next to my ear. I felt as he slowly reached his hand up to my hair and yanked. “Al-ASTOR- Ah fuck! Alastor Sir!” I screamed, he gave a low chuckle and pulled my head to look over my shoulder at him. “Good job baby, would you like to face me while I finish in you?” I whimpered thinking about him filling me. “Wanna face you Alastor Sir,” I whimpered while he smiled. “Good little doe, you gonna cum soon?” he asked softly and rubbed my face. “Don’t know sir,” he chuckled and let out another tsk. “Would you, want me to try my hand at… getting you off?” I gave a quizzical look but nodded slowly. I felt him slip out and groaned. “Shush now Y/N,” he whispered and laid me on my back. I felt his lips meet mine, kissing softly he nuzzled me softly. “Alastor, wh- Ahhh,” he had made his way down, leaning down to suck on my clit. I gasped and writhed under him. I felt myself going to buck into his mouth but he quickly placed his hands on my hips and held them down. “Dear little doe, let me make you remember this as the best night of your life,” he chuckled. “Yessss Alastor~” his tongue prodded before fucking me roughly with it. He sucked and licked until I felt myself getting close, “Alastor- if you don’t stop I’m gonna cum!” I screamed. He fucked me roughly and I felt my stomach coil. “Cum my little doe,” I screamed his name and felt myself release all over his face. “My my darling doe, making such a mess,” he said chuckling as he licked his lips. He sat up and rammed his cock into me with no warning. I groaned and whimpered as he fucked me roughly, slamming his dick in me. “Beg for me to release in you little doe, I wanna hear you,” he grunted smiling sharply at me. I whimpered and began to beg, “Fuck me, cum in me. Fill me with your baby, fill me, and mark me as yours. I’m yours Alastor, all yours.” 

“Oh- fuck” I heard loud static before whimpering, my release shocking both myself and him. I came gripping his cock with my pussy while he groaned. “My little doe, you’re... So tight-” He moaned loudly and came in me, filling me load after load. I whimpered as he collapsed down, softly kissing my neck and shoulder. Leaving a few nibbles that I was sure would show up later on as bruises.

“Thank you Alastor, that was the best night of my life so far,” I whispered nuzzling him. I felt his mouth turn and a smile rise more. “There will be much for my little doe in the future, that is of course a promise.” I smiled as sat up, his cock slipping out. I went to complain but was met with his lips against mine. “Now hush, aftercare is the most important part of lovemaking.” Alastor said with a chuckle. I watched him leave and return quickly, “I have a bath running my dearest if you’d allow me to show you the way,” I giggled as he lifted me bridal style. “Afterwards, a massage and the finest cuddles for you my dear doe.” he said brightly.

“Al?” I asked softly as he carried me to the bathroom. “Hm?” he hummed. “Thank you, for everything. Being my everything. I love you.” I whispered.

“No, my dear, thank you for allowing me to call you my doe. For letting me care, thank you Y/N. I love you very much as well.” He whispered and placed me in the bathtub gently. Warm water engulfed me and was topped off by him slipping behind me. I leaned against him as he wrapped his arms around me. Both of us sighing contently together, we chuckled in response. Just enjoying the moment

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Word Count: 1,849 A/N: Last warning, chapter 2 contains material that will make people uncomfortable, it'll be obvious what happened in the 3rd part so if I do upload it understand you can skip it if you wanna keep reading. Much love darling~ 🩷

[annahiril]

I am the previous anon and I agree with everything you said!

I have been creating OC's in various fandoms the last two years and I have noticed that the people who hate OC's are either people who generally find OC's and any type of shipping cringe or like you said people who ship two canon characters together and they tend to view OC's as obstacles.

Also i completely agree with your opinion about Haladriel.The actor who portrays Sauron has also made it clear that Sauron doesn't have romantic feelings about her and even Adam's actor confirmed that Adar was seduced and in a way loved Sauron too not only Galadriel XD.As for Galadriel given the fact that she has a husband and in the future a child i think that she may have been enamored by Halbrand but she always has her actual husband in her heart.

Anyways have a great day/night☺️ and thanks a lot for your input 🖤✨

I'm glad to see you back ! 😁

Same. I have been posting fandoms OC since 2014 (on Instagram), and 90% of the time people get mad because OC are ship with their favorite characters or are an obstacle to their favorite pairings...

I can understand that some people are more jealous than others, but it is not a reason to spread such kind of hate. And I hope you never had any problems of this kind with your OC BTW.

I'm glad to see you share the same opinion as me on haladriel/saurondriel. Yes, Charlie made it clear that they aren't in love (at least, that's what I understand from his interviews).

I even find the relationship between Sauron/Annatar and Celebrimbor more captivating than the one with Galadriel. The time they shared on screen was intense! And yes, Adar is also sharing a connection with Sauron as Galadriel does. Which make Sauron and Galadriel's dynamic not so unique in my point of view...

I haven't talked much about Celeborn, but let's recall that he is Galadriel's husband. And maybe he will come back (well I hope so, since they have Celebrian together...). I would be so happy to see him in the series! 🤍

But as I said in my previous answer, I'm not against haladriel/saurondriel shippers. They are welcome here and everybody is free to have their own interpretation of this duo 😊

But in my case, I don't see any romantic connection at all, sorry...

Thank you again for your ask ✨️

It was a real pleasure to exchange with you again 🥰

I wish you a wonderful day/night ✨️

[puppypeter]

HELLO this is the normal!Roy/famous!Jamie anon and your response has literally made my brain worms with this au 10000 times more potent!!!

This au was actually a Trojan horse for my role-reversal sugar baby au!!!! There was a post going around hypothesizing the dynamic of a young new-money sub who seduces his older 9 to 5 Dom, basically switching up the usual sugar baby/daddy dynamic.

NOW PICTURE THIS: Jamie attempting to win his grumpy older beau's heart through increasingly extravagant gifts. Oh, your watch broke? I gotchu. Oh, you're worried about the dress code at the venue for our date? I got it covered babe, let's go bespoke suit shopping. Oh, youre having car trouble which is affecting your work? Here's a G-wagon. Just Jamie attempting to buy his way into Roy's affections because he's never actually had to TRY to woo someone, he's just had to say "Hi, I'm Jamie Tartt" and he was in. Now he's gotta charm the pants off this grumpy grandad who he has fallen head over heels for.

Roy is of course incredibly overwhelmed by the crazy expensive gifts from this needy brat who won't leave him the hell alone!! (He's also very flustered because he's never actually been spoiled like this before,,, he's soo used to being the provider that experiencing being cared for so explicitly is very new to him).

To clarify, Jamie would still be the bratty sub to Roy's exasperated Dom, but Jamie would just be happily showering his sexy older partner with gifts, because he deserves it!!

I loooove the idea of Jamie getting to dress up his sexy older Dom and show him off at things like the charity dinner (LOOOVED that idea!!). But you're right, the protectiveness of privacy would also be sooo interesting to explore with this pairing, especially the angst potential of the press becoming super invasive in Roy's life and that causing strain in their relationship.

Waaaahhhh your engagement has really motivated me,,, ❤️❤️ I may have to commit and write this now!!!

(EDIT: For anyone else curious here's the previous asks: part one and the one after part three)

I am so into this I pulled out my laptop to answer cause it became a big screen level ask ahah

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE LOVE LOVE that!!

Jamie would absolutely try to buy him stuff all the time and woo him with money and Roy is both mad (just cause I work in a diner it doesn't mean I need your money) and flustered (because someone is getting him flowers and a suit and nice stuff, but I think Jamie would also be fairly considerate in his gifts, not just random fancy stuff but also "you mentioned your knee was bothering you so I asked my physio and bought you this fancy knee brace/cream" or "I overheard you talking on the phoen to your sister about your niece's new obsession with painting and I saw this watercolour palette and thought I'd get it for her")

Also, cause I like suffering, I'd like to point out that Jamie Tartt (especially post-return to Richmond lonely Jamie Tartt) likes to buy people's love and affection with gifts (remember those PS5? What better thing to spend money on than love?) and I once replied to a post about how he's been doing that with James forever, by getting him tickets and probably that watch/rings etc, hoping if he buys him stuff maybe he'll be happy with him.

So I think there would be both him just thinking it's a good way to show love (and when they get closer / more open with each other he does admit he did not grow up rich at all which is why he gets Roy but he also wants him to experience this fancy ridiculous stuff with him) but also because he does hope/think Roy might stick around that way.

And I absolutely adore a bratty sub making their dom all flustered!! is there anything more delightful than cheeky flirty jamie and rosy cheeks roy??

I think the charity gala would also have a lot of potential for angst/hurt comfort because of what we know about Amsterdam. Like Jamie would buy him the suit and invite him and be very adamant that Roy come even if Roy doesn't want the attention and can't understand why Jamie keeps throwing things at him to convince him (I got you a fancy watch and a limousine and the fanciest champagne and flowers and a necklace and please please come with me) and he later admits he was super stressed about the auction thing. Everyone at the gala is intrigued by this mysterious dark haired older bearded man spending so much money on him (well jamie's own money but still). If I had to picture this as a film, I feel like when they walk out of the gala and are walking around Richmond at night that's the moment of most vulnerability, when Jamie finally opens up to Roy and is honest and sheds all the layers. Roy takes them back to the diner and opens it just for them and they sit there for hours talking about their lives and families and growing up, having cherry pie (don't tell my coach) and playing footsie under the table.

Re the privacy thing it perhaps post-gala post-night alone in the diner together, someone recognises roy or even worse approaches Roy while he's with Phoebe and it really pisses him off because he's super protective of her? Make it 100 times worse and make that person James/Denbo/Bug? Maybe they've followed Jamie or found out about Roy somehow and threaten him or Jamie doesn't show up to the diner a few times or starts being very on/off, cancelling last minute and Roy snaps that he thought he was dating a grown up and he doesn't have time for these stupid games. While actually Jamie was just trying to keep him and Phoebe at a distance to ensure his dad (or the press) wouldn't bother them, but then he finds himself in need of help and calls him or shows up to Roy's place/the diner having a lil breakdown (in the cutest way as we know)

God I won't be able to stop thinking about them now!!

[marta-bee]

@amberly333 asked for more about Ashtoreth and why I found it so interesting Crowley chose that name when he worked as Young Warlock’s nanny. So let’s do that.

Ashtoreth is either a variant spelling or one of the related gods later culture rolled into one (depending on who you ask) with Astarte or Istarte. Small-g god, to be sure; unlike the Israelite God, she was one of many. I’d hesitate to describe her or most of the pagan gods in the region as actually evil. It’s more that they’re false gods, and the worship of them lured Israelites away from worship of the One True God. But if Crowely needed a feminine name associated with evil he’s sadly not suffering for a lack of options. Eve, certainly, or even Adam’s first wife Lilith. Delilah and Salome also jump to mind as interesting options. As I said, it’s a bit of a list.

What’s interesting, though, is all these women are sexual temptresses in some sense. Lilith you can make the case her sin was more about refusing to submit than seducing a man, but it’s a bit ambiguous and depends a lot about which version of the story you read. Ashtoreth is different. For one thing she’s from outside the Jewish and Christian pantheons. so she’s not evil in the sense she’s openly rebelling against god. She’s just this person other peoples are wrong to think exist. She’s not even particularly associated with the demonic (her sometimes-consort Baal was, at least in later times). She just kind of.... is.

Nor is she particularly erotic, much less seductive. I see from Wikipedia she was later syncretized with Aphrodite which, yeah, definitely argues against this point. But again, that seems controversial, and Astarte in particular seems less wedded and/or bedded than warrior-queen. Believe it or not, I’m not actually an expert in near-east pagan cults of antiquity, but I do think if Gaiman wanted to call to mind something in the mold of Leta or Zeus’s other conquests, or even Helen of Troy, he certainly made an odd choice with this namesake.

Also, she’s associated with the dove, that famous symbol that the Great Flood was at last over. Given I’m not even sure if the Noah scene from the miniseries was in the book that may be a complete coincidence, but I for one am enjoying the connection.

The most important things, though?

1) Not actually evil.

2) Not getting in trouble for shaking her groove thing.

3) Not even kicked out of the Garden for refusing to submit.

And if that’s not Crowley in a really interesting way, I don’t know what is.