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farfromharry · 3 years ago

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Call me when you get this | College!Tom fic

Summary: you knew it’d be difficult for your relationship when you and tom went away to seperate universities. but now you were missing each others calls, your only form of communication, living off of the sound of your lover through a voicemail.

Word count - 14.3k+

Warnings - language, mentions of underage drinking, suggestive content, angst

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Friday, 7th September

Standing in front of your boyfriend’s house before nine in the morning on a cold Friday in September was not the place you really wanted to be right now, especially when you were having to say goodbye to him for who knows how long.

“I guess this is it,” he said, his voice lacking that usual boyish excitement it possessed when he was around you.

Today was the day you and Tom had been dreading for so many months. The day Tom left and really solidified the fact that the two of you had to part to go to different colleges, which were also quite a few hours away from each other. Your heart was aching as he stared at you with those sad, brown, puppy dog eyes, but you were sure your own eyes were exactly the same.

You began to tear up as you watched him pack his bags into the back of his mum’s car, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout directed at him. When he turned his head he noticed you staring and opened his strong arms for you, inviting you in. You obviously immediately accepted, rushing into his warm embrace. He squeezed you tightly in his arms, feeling your body begin to shake as you let out a broken sob.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” He cupped your cheeks, making sure you were looking at him before he spoke. He had a comforting smile on his lips, one that always made you feel all warm inside. “This isn’t goodbye,” he promised, kissing your head a few times, “‘m gonna visit as much as I can, we’ll see each other soon. I’m not leaving forever,” he said.

“I’m going to miss you, so much,” you whispered, letting his strong, calming, scent overwhelm you when you buried your head back in his hoodie. “I’m so used to seeing you everyday.”

“I’m going to miss you too, more than you know Y/N.” You sighed sadly, nuzzling your face even deeper into his chest, if that was possible. Tom smiled, running his fingers through your hair as you both swayed softly in your embrace.

The moment was ruined all too soon by Nikki shouting for him. She felt bad for breaking up your moment, but the drive was already long and they wanted to arrive before lunch.

“Tom, we have to go,” his mum announced, trying to motion for him to start heading to the car. All his stuff was already packed inside, you’d helped with most of that part earlier this morning just so you got to spend more time with him, and now he was all ready to go; even if you wish he wasn’t.

Nikki offered you a sympathetic smile, knowing you were struggling to part from her son. She’d always called it ‘puppy love’ but she didn’t quite understand the extent of your affection for one another.

“I love you, and I’ll call you as soon as I can,” he promised, pressing no less than three quick pecks onto your lips. You nodded, plastering on a fake smile. He wiped your tears with the pads of his thumb, his heart fluttering as you giggled at how silly you were being.

He leaned down to kiss you one more time, ignoring the mixed taste of both of your salty tears. Only then did you realise Tom was crying too, your heart aching.

“We’re idiots aren’t we?” you asked. He nodded, chuckling as he pulled away from you. The only touch you had now was from the way your pinkies were still locked in a promise that you were going to make this work.

“I’ll see you later, bub.” “See you later, Tommy.”

He placed one final kiss on your head before turning on his heel to walk down his driveway. As he climbed in the car you were tugged into a hug by one of the twins.

When you looked up you noticed the wild curls and rolled your eyes at Harry, but nonetheless rested your head against his chest. “I still don’t know how you put up with him for so long.”

You laughed, playfully pushing Sam for the comment to scold him.

“Seriously Y/N, he’s so in love with you. Everything’s gonna be fine,” he admits in Tom’s absence. He knew that if Tom were here right now he’d probably hit him for saying so out loud.

“He’s right, he never shuts up about you,” Harry added. “Always gushing about everything you do,” he fake gagged.

“He’s whipped,” Paddy said, the youngest of the brothers making you giggle. Your heart swelled in your chest, your body suddenly feeling warm, even in the cold London weather.

Within the time of your conversation, Tom had already left, shooting you one last longing glance along the way, a smile forming on his lips when he saw you laughing with his family. You eventually had to part from the brothers and head home to pack your own things, saying your goodbyes and then starting your short walk home.

»»——⍟——««

You didn’t expect that Tom would already be desperately missing you by the time it turned dark. But your computer ringing on your desk proved you wrong.

Seeing his contact name on your screen for a facetime call made your heart flutter, sitting down in your chair to answer his call. It was slightly glitchy for the first few seconds, just while it connected, but within a minute Tom’s pretty face was lighting up your screen.

“Missing me already, Holland?” you poked fun. You watched him roll his eyes, completely ignoring your comments. “Hi, angel,” he greeted.

You bit back a smile, tucking some loose hair behind your ear to try and tame it after you caught sight of the mess you looked like in the small box at the top of the screen.

“Hi, how was your drive?” you asked. You shuffled around a bit, trying to get comfortable in your now much more bare bedroom. You’d been packing your stuff for most of the day after you got home, so your hair was a complete mess that had just been thrown out of your face when you started getting too hot to have it in your face all the time. You had one of Tom’s many hoodies you’ve stolen clinging to your body, his scent surrounding you.

Just bringing the sleeve up to your nose was enough to make it feel like he was really with you right now and not just on a screen.

“It was long, very boring too,” he whined, running his hands through his curls. “I suppose my mum made it at least a little better.” You giggled, pouting playfully for him. “How awful.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you pack,” he said, motioning to the boxes stacked behind you, a soft pout on his lips that just made you want to kiss him. He’d already told you he’d felt guilty that you helped pack for him, but he wasn’t there to do the same for you in return.

“S’okay, one more box and then I’m all ready to go in the morning anyway,” you reassured, motioning around your pretty much bare room with your arms.

“It looks so empty,” he commented, recalling in his head how nicely decorated it’d looked during his millions of visits. You nodded, frowning as you looked at your childhood room that held almost no kind of decoration on the walls.

“Anyway, let’s stop moping, I don’t want to cry again today,” you demanded, hearing a chuckle come from his end. He nodded his head, quickly changing the subject to something more positive.

You and Tom were talking for hours. In that time he showed you his new dorm room, and told you that he’d need your assistance at some point to help decorate, but it was more of an excuse to get you to come visit already. Your parents also made themselves known at one point, greeting your boyfriend and asking how everything was going so far. You kicked them out after a while, playfully irritated that they were hogging your boyfriend from you.

“Get out,” you said, trying to hide your little giggle. Tom was laughing on the other side, watching this all go down. “I am so sorry about them.” He was still giggling, making you smile and roll your eyes.

“I love them, don’t worry,” he reassured you. You huffed. “I’m pretty sure they love you more than me,” you told him. He shrugged his shoulders, flashing you a cheeky grin.

“I can’t really blame them.” You scoffed, shaking your head at him, feigning disappointment.

Over the course of the call you could see him growing more and more tired. His words would come out slightly more slurred, his movements slower and his eyes fluttering shut every few minutes, craving sleep desperately.

“Is it bad that I miss you already?” he asked, eyes drooping as if he was about to fall asleep any second. You smiled, watching him with a heavy heart.

“No,” you whispered, so gently Tom almost didn’t hear it. “But i told you so.”

Your lips twitched into a grin, hearing an unimpressed groan come from the other end. When the moment died down you took another long look at your boyfriend. “You should get some rest, looks like you’re going to fall asleep any second.” He hummed, smiling at you sleepily as he rested his chin on his hand.

The simple action, even after seeing it a hundred times, still made your stomach erupt with butterflies, yet another smile overtaking your features. You were sure that at this rate your face was going to end up hurting from smiling so much, but you suppose those are the kind of sacrifices you have to make when your boyfriend’s adorable.

“Goodnight Tom, I love you,” you said, your finger hovering over the end call button. You waited for his reply patiently, knowing his very sleepy mind often took longer to process things.

“G’night. Love you.” He nuzzled his face into the blanket you’d given him before he left. The one you normally take with you to sleep at his house, the one that smelled just like a mix of your shampoo and perfume.

It made Tom’s heart pang, but your smell also comforted him in a way he couldn’t explain in words. You took one last look at his sleepy face before ending the call with a small sigh.

You fell back on your bed, your eyes landing on the box of stuff that you had to finish up before you could head to bed, your body and mind screaming at you for not doing it earlier. You begrudgingly pushed yourself up, moving over to the wall of your room that held your photos of your friends and you.

You smiled as you looked through each one, some of friends and family, others with Tom or Tessa or the other Holland siblings that had built up over the years.

One specific picture caught your eye, one where you and Tom were happily slow dancing together at his cousin's wedding in late June of the same year. The memories from that night all came flooding back all at once, your heart overflowing with love and adoration for the male for the thousandth time today.

“Ow tom, you just stepped on my foot,” you whined, frowning at him. Instead of apologising like a normal person would’ve, your boyfriend instead chose to burst into laughter. You gawked at him, trying not to crack up yourself, trying to keep up your angry facade.

“I-i’m sorry-“ he wheezed. You started to giggle yourself due to his contagious laughter, shaking your head at how childish he was.

“That hurt. You’re heavy,” you laughed, “You’re such a dick,” you mumbled, your smile refusing to fade. Tom beamed unphased by your attempted insults, kissing your head and somehow pulling your body even closer to him.

“But you love me,” he whispered, his head tucking into your neck, placing another barely there kiss on the skin of your bare shoulder. You rested your cheek against the side of his head, fingers stroking the short hair at the nape of his neck, listening to the sound of him humming along to the song.

“Yeah, I do.”

You didn’t even know Nikki had snapped the picture until you were in the car with his family driving home that night. Tom had fallen asleep in the car, his head on your shoulder after one too many drinks, the boy taking much advantage of being over the legal drinking age for the first time.

His mother had grabbed your attention in the silence and showed you the beautiful picture on her camera, watching as your face twisted into one of delight. “Nikki, it’s beautiful,” you told her, being completely honest with yourself, you were in awe.

“Well, I thought you two were just completely adorable.” She smiled at you. The romantic aura had your heart melting, asking her if you could have a copy for yourself. She was more than happy to oblige and the next day she was handing you a physical copy of the image.

Now here you were, taking the picture down after only two or so months of having it up. You felt your eyes welling up again, wiping them with the back of your hand. “Damn it Tom, you cursed, chuckling to yourself over how obviously in love you were with this boy.

»»——⍟——««

Monday, 10th September

Tom's classes at uni were scheduled to start almost a week earlier than yours, which is why he had to leave home before you. Today was his first day of classes, he only had the one today but he had already promised to tell you about it as soon as it was over. He also knew that you should’ve arrived at your own campus this morning, making a mental note to ask you how it was going so far when he called you later.

Everything on your end was going well, you ended up driving there by yourself because your parents were unfortunately busy, but the unpacking process was coming along well.

Tom left his first drama class after the hour with a wide grin on his face. He'd just had arguably the best class of his life and he could barely contain his excitement long enough to wait to tell you about it. He pulled his phone out almost as soon as he stepped out of the classroom, stepping out of the way of the students piling out of the class. He pulled up your contact and hoped you weren’t too busy with unpacking your stuff, so he could talk to you while making the long journey back to his dorm.

Your loud ringtone filling the silence in your room interrupted your current task, shuffling over to see Tom's contact lighting up your screen the same as the night before. You knew you couldn’t be annoyed at his little interruption, especially because you’d already missed the sound of his voice so much and it’d only been a few hours at most.

“Goodmorning, angel.” You smiled as he greeted you, almost as soon as the line connected.

“You sound cheerful today,” you pointed out. You held the phone between your ear and your shoulder, putting the last of your books on the small wooden bookshelf in your room.

“I just had an amazing first class.”

“Well, I’m glad, tell me all about it,” you told him. He talked to you about his morning class for almost 20 minutes, rambling and gushing about how much he enjoyed it and everything that happened, down to a T. You couldn’t have been happier for him. After your long discussion, making sure you asked him lots of questions to give him the chance to let him give you every detail, he seemed to finally take a breath and turned the topic of conversation around. You ended up talking about you now, one of Tom’s favourite things to talk about as he’s told you tie and time again.

“How’s unpacking going?” he asked, finally arriving back in his own dorm. You heard him greet someone with a hello, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “Who was that?” you asked.

“My roommate,” he answered casually, like he hadn’t forgot to mention he ever even had one.

“You have a roommate, since when?” He paused and thought for a minute.

“Since I got the room I think, his name is Harrison,” he suddenly lowered his voice, cupping his mouth around the speaker of the phone, “He’s a bit of an arsehole though, I won’t lie.” You laughed loudly, glad you didn’t have your own roommate to share the small dorm with. You quickly got back on topic, Tom asking you even more questions.

“How are you settling in?” he asked, just as you had asked him last night.

“I'm okay, have some unpacking left to do, and classes don’t start until next week.” He hummed along with what you were saying, listening to every little word. “How’s the campus?”

“It's nice, but it’s lacking a certain pretty boy that I’m so used to seeing.” He awed, teasing you thoroughly about how sappy you were. You always got nervous when trying to flirt with your boyfriend, scared it wasn’t going to come out as smooth as you’d hoped.

“Shut up,” you said, trying to mask your embarrassment. He always managed to make you flustered when you talked about your feelings for him. He didn’t let it linger too long though, changing the subject as quickly as you’d moved on to it.

“So,” he started. “When do you think you could come help me decorate?” he asked, once again changing topics, this time however you were rather grateful he did.

“Need to see me in person already, Holland?” You turned the teasing around onto him, pausing what you were doing to give him your full attention.

“You know I do,” he said. You rolled your eyes when he didn’t end up nearly as embarrassed as you had just been. Sometimes his confidence in flirting really did infuriate you.

“No, but really, I want to see you. I miss your cute face,” he said, groaning towards the end of his sentence. You giggled, shaking your head. “Well, I have all this week that I can come down and see you,” you offered.

“How's Friday? You could stay the weekend, go back Sunday,” he suggested, “If that’s okay with you,” he added, not wanting to sound so demanding like he was forcing you to come.

“That sounds perfect, but check with your roommate, I don’t want to give him a reason to be more of a dick.” Tom laughed, nodding his head. “I appreciate that,” he chuckled. “and I will, don’t worry,” he promised.

There was a sudden, unintentional shift in the mood, the two of you becoming rather quiet as you both thought for a few moments. There was still the traces of your smiles on your lips, but they were quickly fading.

“How are we supposed to do this for so long?” you asked after the laughter completely died down, finally showcasing your worry to him that had been eating up at you practically since you got your college offers.

He smiled, shrugging his shoulders to himself as if it was obvious. “We’re Tom and Y/N, a fucking power couple, we got this,” he said, quoting something your school friends used to call you, all while calming your nerves about if your relationship would work long distance. “We had this discussion plenty of times before we left, I promise you, we’ll be okay.” You smiled, not that he could see.

“Good, because I'm not letting you go that easily mister.” He chuckled.

“I wouldn’t dream of letting you go either, you’re one of a kind Y/N.” You grinned, the two of you just basking in the knowledge of each other's presence.

“How did this get so cheesy so quick?” he asked, making you laugh.

“That’s just who you are,” you said.

You heard a childish scoff on the other end. “Am not.”

“You so are!” The two of you stayed on the call until you realised how much work you really had to do with your room. The boxes were still stacked up and unopened, you hadn’t even unpacked half yet.

“I appreciate your company, but I really need to get back to putting stuff away.” You didn’t really want to stop talking to him, but you couldn’t deny he was a massive distraction from your original task.

“Yeah of course, but I can't wait to see you Friday,” he said, making that giddy feeling linger in your chest. Butterflies were erupting in the pit of your stomach the more you thought about it.

“Me too, and we’ll have to plan when you can come down here sometime,” you said. “Unlike you, I have a room to myself,” you pointed out, having a slightly suggestive undertone to your words.

“I’ll remember that,” he paused, “Princess.”

You shivered, chills shooting down your spine, the nickname was something he would only use when the two of you were having, adult time.

“You bastard,” you said, referring to the way he said that with such ease, knowing it’d play on your mind for the rest of the day.

“Alright, well i’ll text you later,” he brushed it off, making his promise instead, hearing an ‘alright’ from you on the other end.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you more, see you later Tom.” You ended the phone call with a fuzzy feeling all over your body, smiling to yourself, dazed. Tom was exactly the same all those miles away, laying back on his bed with a lovesick grin painted on to his face. You were both so in love, and so, so confident that your relationship would make it through this distance.

»»——⍟——««

Friday, 14th September

Friday thankfully came very quickly, something you were very, very happy about. Before setting off on your long, lonely journey, you pulled your phone out of your pocket to call Tom.

“Hello Thomas,” you greeted, unable to wipe your grin from your face. You were seeing your boy today.

“Hi beautiful, what’s up?” he asked, sounding rather out of breath. You furrowed your eyebrows. “Do you need an inhaler or something, or-“ you teased.

“I woke up late, I'm currently running across campus to my class.” You laughed at him, receiving an annoyed scoff from him.

“I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving now, I should probably be there just after lunch,” you said.

“That’s amazing, I’m sorry you’ve got to drive all that way alone though.” You shook your head, once again forgetting that he couldn’t see you.

“It’s okay, but I should let you get back to being late for your class, good luck,” you said.

“Thanks, very funny, I'll see you when you get here,” he said. You could practically hear the smile in his voice, even over his dog-like panting.

“See you later.” You hung up with a small squeal, a small smile staying glued on your face, even well into the drive after the conversation had ended.

You had to admit, the car ride was lonely by yourself, but it was also so worth it for Tom. It’d only been, not even two weeks, but you missed him greatly already and from what you’d heard from him, he felt exactly the same.

The silence in your car was filled with the sound of your different playlists playing through the speakers. Some were just from random playlists, others from the playlist that you and Tom seemed to most enjoy together.

You could feel your heart starting to beat faster, butterflies erupting in your stomach as you got closer and closer to your destination.

You sent him a quick text when you hit traffic just outside of the campus, telling him you’d be about 10 more minutes. You just received a simple smiley face in response. You and Tom both had your locations on for each other anyway, so he’d know when you arrived. It’d become a promise that you always would after one night when you’d been out with your friends getting drunk, and you’d gone a little bit too far.

You could barely even stand straight anymore, having already forgotten about a few drunken messages you’d sent to Tom before the last shot you’d taken. You were drawn out of your daze when you felt your phone buzzing against your leg, seeing Tom’s contact on your screen. You squealed like a little girl, answering his call with a slurred yell of his name.

“Where are you, baby?” he asked, concern laced all through the tone of his voice.

“ ‘M having fun with m-my-” he heard you huff, “I can’t find them.”

Tom’s eyes widened at the thought of you being alone and drunk in now an unknown location. He cursed under his breath, trying to think of a reasonable thing to do.

“Can you turn your location on for me, Y/N?”

You hummed, pulling the phone away from your ear. You tried to steady your vision, telling Tom that the room was spinning. It made things ten times more difficult, but you eventually managed to do it, alerting Tom with a cheer.

“I did it, Tommy,” you said, “Are you proud of me?” you sounded like a scared child, desperate to receive Tom’s validation.

“So proud of you, angel.”

Tom pulled up your location on his phone, noticing you were at a bar. He wasn’t sure how you’d managed to successfully get in underage, being only 17, but you managed.

“Can you stay where you are for me?” You nodded your head before realising he couldn’t see you. You giggled to yourself quietly before mumbling a quiet yes. Tom offered to stay on the phone with you but you told him you needed the bathroom, feeling as though you were going to throw up.

When Tom arrived, he had to ask the bouncer if he’d seen you, showing him a picture. The large man motioned to where you were sitting on the curb by yourself, shivering from the cold hitting your bare arms. He bent down beside you, reaching out to place his hand on your arm, shocked by how cold you were.

“Tommy,” you gushed, wrapping your arms around his neck, “By the way, I didn’t throw up,” you stated, almost as if you were proud of that achievement.

“That’s good, but let’s get you home.” He pulled off his jacket to wrap around your shoulders, helping you up off of the floor and guiding you to his car. You were heavily drunk but you weren’t completely out of it, so when Tom drove past your house, you began to whine at him.

“I’m not letting your parents see you like this, they’ll kill me and then you.”

You huffed like a child. “You’re too pretty to die.” Tom laughed, reaching over to grab your hand and press a kiss to your knuckles.

“Yeah?” “Yeah,” you sighed dreamily.

Tom helped you inside his house, making sure to avoid any creaks in the floorboards so he wouldn’t wake his family. He guided you up to his room and then started the process of being a good boyfriend. No matter how tired you were, he helped you change into some of his clothes, helped to take off your makeup and tied your hair up and then made you brush your teeth by yourself, even when you complained.

The last move was getting you under the covers off his bed, seeing you pass out almost as soon as your head hit the pillow. “Goodnight angel, you’re going to have a horrible hangover tomorrow.”

And true to Tom’s word, you woke up the next morning in his bed and clothes, your head pounding and only a faint memory of the previous night. Tom strutted into his room clad in only a pair of plain black joggers, his abdomen on full show.

“Ah, you’re finally awake.” He placed a glass of water and two pills down on the nightstand beside you, telling you to drink up so you could feel better. He filled you in on all the basic details and you just wanted his, ridiculously comfy bed, to swallow you whole.

“Maybe we should keep each other’s locations on from now on,” Tom suggested. You nodded, rubbing your side head and leaning into him. “I think that’d be a good idea.”

That’s how he knew you’d arrived in the campus car park. You had barely even stepped out of the car when he practically tackled you in a hug, taking you off-guard. You laughed loudly, wrapping your arms around his neck and nuzzling your nose into his cheek.

“I'm so glad you’re here,” he said, squeezing you tightly. You couldn’t push away your grin, your heart feeling like it was going to explode as you held your boy in your arms.

“I missed you bub,” you whispered, pulling back to kiss him. Your lips molded together perfectly, the two of you feeling as though you were complete again.

You weren’t sure you’d ever shared a kiss like this with Tom, and the two of you had shared lots of kisses. This one was different though, it felt like every moment of emotion from missing his person these past two weeks was being poured into this kiss and you loved it.

“Oi, Holland, cool it with the pda.” Tom turned his head, spotting one of the lads from his drama class and suddenly feeling embarrassed. You tried to turn his head to kiss you again, searching for his lips with yours and ignoring the obvious moron that interrupted you, but then huffing when he denied you. You followed his gaze, seeing a boy standing a few feet away.

“Who’s that?” You watched as he flipped him off jokingly, making some comment about how he at least had a girlfriend.

“That's Tuwaine, he’s in my drama class, met him the other day.” You nodded, smiling before turning back to look at your boyfriend.

“So, are you gonna show me to your dorm, or do we have to stay out in the cold?” you teased. He laughed, helping you take the bag you packed out of the back of your car and offering to carry it for you.

“Such a gentleman,” you commented.

“That I am,” he said, bowing playfully. You shared another round of laughter before you silently decided you really should get out of the cold weather.

“Lead the way, handsome.” He laced your fingers together, leading you in the direction of his building. You walked slowly, giving you both a chance to catch up. Over the small journey you’d shuffled closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder and wrapping your other hand around his arm.

“Right in here,” he said, guiding you through the door of his building. His hand resting comfortably on the small of your back. He unlocked the door to his room, opening it and like the gentleman he claimed he was, let you go first.

The two of you entered his dorm room, Tom holding out his arms and muttering a quiet ‘voila,’ making a show of it. You giggled at his behaviour, humming as you looked around at the messy and pretty much bare room.

“Very nice, it practically screams boy,” you pointed out, sending him a tormenting smile.

“Hey, hey, be nice.” He pointed his finger at you, scolding you teasingly.

“I’m always nice, whatever do you mean?” you smirked, playing dumb. He tossed your bag on his bed and pulled you in by your waist, he kissed you again, more passionate this time now it was without the interruption of the public eye. You gently pushed on his chest, ignoring his whine when he tried to follow your lips again, just as you had done earlier.

“I came here to help you decorate, not to sleep with you.” Tom rolled his eyes.

“We could do both,” he muttered. You tossed one of his pillows at him, seeing him raise his hands in defense.

You punched his shoulder lightly, kissing him quickly.

“Alright, let’s decorate,” you said, clapping your hands in front of you. Tom pulled out the boxes he had yet to unpack from his small wardrobe, handing you one that had pictures in it.

“Where do you want these?” you asked. He motioned to the wall next to his desk.

“Right there, so I can stare at your beautiful face when I don’t want to do my school work.” You giggled, nodding your head.

“Alright then, can’t argue with that.” You started pulling pictures out of the box, some of you two together, some of his family.

“Do you remember this?” you asked, holding one of the pictures of you both between the tips of your fingers. It was you and Tom at his family’s cabin in France, the one where they go skiing almost every year. You were both in big coats and snow trousers, trying to keep warm on the snowy mountain. You both had your ski goggles resting on your head, the two of you grinning widely. “Yeah, I do, he smiled, “That was such a great trip.”

“That reminds me, my mums been asking about if you’ll come again with us this year.” You smiled at the thought of Nikki thinking about you and wanting you to be around her family.

“I'd love to, I always have so much fun there,” you said, trying to be heartfelt and honest.

“Me too,” he winked, referring to the separate ‘fun’ you two always have right after midnight on new year's day, just to start the year off right.

“Behave,” you warned, pointing your finger at him.

“When's your roommate coming back?” you asked, changing the topic while stretching to put up another one of his pictures. He laughed, pressing his solid front to your back, cheekily nibbling on your neck.

“Why, something on your mind?” he asked, hinting at something else, squeezing your waist underneath his hands.

“No, stop that,” you scolded playfully, shaking your head at your boyfriend. “Just wanted to know if he’d have an issue with me being here, that’s all.” Tom hummed.

“He said he’d be fine with you being here, in his words ‘as long as he doesn’t have to hear us fuck,’ so.” You laughed, nodding your head.

“Well, he won’t have to worry about that,” you said, a cheeky smile on your lips. Tom pouted, however accepting your kiss as apology.

You spent the next few hours unpacking Tom's things, focusing more on hanging up some of his clothes on the racks he had, rather than the pictures you were doing earlier. At some point you did steal one of his hoodies, pulling it over your head just to have a sense of him close to you, even if he was already in the room with you, receiving the comment of, “Just can’t stand to be away from me, huh?” tugging at the material of the pink hoodie. “Shut up.”

After it went dark, you and Tom put off the rest of the decorating until tomorrow, not that there was much left to do anyway. You agreed on just watching movies for the rest of the night, calling for pizza. He got some extra too, to thank his roommate for letting you stay.

You spent what felt like forever searching for a film on your boyfriend’s laptop, finally settling on one that you and Tom both thought sounded good. The two of you sat together on his bed, your legs in his lap and his hand rubbing the scratchy fabric of your jeans.

“I’m starving,” you whined, burying your head in Tom's chest. Your stomach growled just to prove your point, making Tom laugh.

“It'll be here soon,” he reassured. A knock on the door made both of your heads perk up.

“That was good timing,” you joked. Tom jumped up from his bed, pulling some cash out of his wallet and opening the dorm door.

He frowned slightly when he saw his roommate.

“Forgot my key, sorry,” Tom nodded, seeing your face drop knowing you had to wait even longer for your food. “Someone did hand me this on the way in though, said it was for our room.” He held up 2 pizzas, a cheer coming from you that made Tom laugh. He handed them both to Tom. Tom however handed you one of the boxes, then the other one to the blonde male, who looked at him confused.

“This is actually for you.” He handed him the box of pizza, receiving a rather shocked thank you. “Just a thank you for letting Y/N stay,” he explained.

“This is Y/N by the way, Y/N this is Harrison,” he introduced. You smiled, waving to the blonde.

“You can join us if you’d like, we’re just watching a film,” you offered, just trying to be polite.

“No it’s okay, I’ll let you enjoy your time together, but thank you.” Tom smiled before making his way back over to you, climbing back into his bed behind you. He kissed your head, wrapping his arm around your waist and getting himself comfortable. Harrison put in his own set of headphones, watching something on his computer.

The movie dragged on, finding it growing harder and harder to keep your focus on it.

“Are you tired?” he asked. You hummed, turning your face over your shoulder to look at your boyfriend.

“We can finish the movie tomorrow,” he said. You thanked him, nuzzling your face in his chest and wrapping your arm around his stomach.

“Get ready for bed, I’ll pack this all away,” he said, motioning to the food and things on his bed and nightstand.

“Okay,” you mumbled, begrudgingly letting go of him and climbing out of his bed. You stretched your arms, your shirt riding up slightly and exposing the bottom of your stomach. Tom playfully jabbed you, making you squeal at the ticklish feeling.

“Stop,” you whined, slapping his hand away, pouting as he laughed at you. Tom kissed all over your face until you smiled, getting rid of your pout.

You grabbed your bag off of the floor, sticking your tongue out at your boyfriend childishly. You headed to the attached bathroom to change. You changed out of your current outfit, putting on some comfortable shorts to sleep in that you’d brought with you and then leaving on Tom's hoodie that you stole earlier. You put your hair up, just so it wouldn’t get in your face, tying it in a messy ponytail at the crown of your head.

“Y/N, are you decent?” Tom asked. You furrowed your eyebrows, opening the door for him.

“What’s up?” you asked, pulling your makeup remover out of your bag.

“I need to brush my teeth,” he said. You nodded, shifting to give him enough room by the sink as you began to take off your makeup. He watched you like a hawk the entire time, following your hand movements with every gentle swipe of the cotton pad on your face.

“What are you looking at?” you asked, causing him to snap out of his slight, dreamy daze.

“You’re just so pretty.” You huffed, shoving his shoulder.

“Stop being such a sap,” you commented.

“Only for you,” he teased, sending you a wink through the mirror.

Halfway through him brushing his own teeth, you began to brush yours. Playfully bouncing your hip against his own to push him out of the way of the sink. He stumbled and you let out a muffled giggle, watching him glare at you.

“Oh it’s on, I'll get you back,” he promised, receiving a teasing ‘oo’ from you.

After spitting in the sink, he flashed you a toothy grin through the mirror, one that made you giggle. Now that he had nothing left to do, he moved over to start bothering you, wrapping his arms around your waist and gently prodding your stomach to try and tickle you and get you to laugh.

“Tom,” you scolded, trying to focus on brushing your teeth.

“Hurry up, I wanna go to bed,” he whined, sounding almost like a pouty child. You finished up brushing your teeth, holding your hair back as you spit your toothpaste into the sink.

You wiped your mouth with the towel and then turned to Tom with a smile. He playfully pinched your cheeks, telling you you looked cute.

“Okay, I’m done,” you said, slapping his hands away. He placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the bathroom.

Upon entering his room again, you saw that he’d actually cleaned up his mess for once, receiving a proud, but sarcastic, clap from you. He caught on, telling you to behave.

“Come on, get in.” He pointed to his bed, letting you get in first. His bed was barely bigger than a single, so the two of you had to cramp together, not that either of you would ever complain. He climbed in after you did, pulling you back into his chest and burying his face in your hair.

“You smell really good.” You giggled tiredly at his comment, eyes fluttering shut.

“Thank you bubba, now go to sleep.” He turned off the light above his head, kissing your neck and closing his eyes.

“Goodnight,” he mumbled.

“G’night Tommy.”

You had to admit to him, his bed was almost as comfy as sleeping on a cloud- not that you’d know what that’s like, but still. It was possibly the best night's sleep you’d had in months, and you weren’t sure if it was because of the bed or because you were back in Tom’s strong arms. When you woke up though you were alone in the bed, looking around to find you were alone in the room too, Harrison’s bed already having been neatly made.

The door opened right on time and Tom strolled in. He noticed you were awake and flashed you one of his charming smiles.

“Good morning,” he greeted. You stretched your arms above your head, making a soft noise that almost made Tom melt in his converse.

“Morning,” you smiled, pulling his covers up so they were right underneath your chin. Tom thought you looked so precious, pulling out his phone to snap a quick picture of you, even after you protested against it.

He leaned down, kissing you gently.

“I went and got us some breakfast.” You pushed yourself into a sitting position, thanking him quietly. You ate together, making happy conversation. Tom asked about how you slept and also admitted he slept better with you in his arms. He basically forced you out of bed, after you refused to leave the warmth.

“Let’s finish decorating and then we have the rest of the day to spend together, doing whatever you want,” he said. “I like the sound of that.”

The rest of the weekend after that went by quicker than you would’ve liked. It felt like only hours before Tom was walking you to your car, ready to say goodbye to you again.

“I hate this,” you whined.

“Me too,” he mumbled. “I'll come and see you soon though, I promise,” he said, squeezing you tightly before opening your car door for you.

“Such a gentleman,” you teased, referencing the moment when you arrived a few days ago, kissing his lips.

“I’ll see you as soon as I can,” he repeated.

“I love you,” you muttered, running your fingers through his untamed curls.

“I love you more.” He kissed you one more time. You climbed into your car, waving to him through the window as you started up the engine. You sighed as you drove out of the gates of the campus, not really ready to start your long journey back to your own.

»»——⍟——««

Friday, 18th November

Unluckily for you and Tom, ‘soon’ ended up being almost a whole two months later. Tom was so busy with schoolwork that just kept piling up and by the time he was free, you were busy. The cycle kept repeating and it was horrible. You missed your boyfriend greatly and you were hoping he missed you just as much as he said he did.

Tom had arrived at your campus early in the morning, at a time you wished you didn’t have to be awake, just so he could spend longer with you. At least you could appreciate the gesture, even if you were losing out on sleep.

“And this is where the magic happens,” you said, opening the door to your dorm and guiding him in. He chuckled, kissing your head.

“What kind of magic?” he asked, an underlying dirty meaning to his question.

“Shut up.” you flushed.

“I can’t believe I haven’t been able to touch you in almost two months,” he whined, his boyish attitude dissolving and being replaced by your whiny, adorable boyfriend, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“I know,” you said, getting completely distracted by running your fingers through the overgrown curls that were peeking out from underneath his cap. You thought it was adorable, but you knew he’d grow to hate it soon enough. “You need a haircut,” you mumbled, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“I think I like it longer,” he said as you pulled off his cap, tugging at the long strands of dark hair. Tom stared at you as you did so, watching how fascinated you seemed to be with his hair. He couldn’t help leaning in, connecting his lips with yours.

“Uh-uh, not now,” you told him. “Later, baby.”

He huffed, pulling your lip between his teeth, running his hands up and down your body.

“Come on, you can decide if you like my hair longer.” His sentence had an underlying tone of lust to it, just like his earlier comment had too, trying to hint at a very non-pg act the two of you could be doing right now.

“Nope, later though, I promise.” He whined, throwing his head back. You bit back a grin, taking in the way his jaw looked sharp and very much attractive from this angle.

“Well, get dressed handsome, I’m taking you to dinner.” He lowered his head and looked at you with a smile, kissing you softly. “Are you trying to woo me, now?”

“Of course, now put on something pretty and let’s go, I need my arm candy.” You slapped his butt playfully, moving over to your wardrobe to pull out a slightly raunchy dress. Tom recognised the fabric instantly, one he’d seen time and time again that made him go wild.

“That’s what you’re wearing?” he asked, in a state of shock just imagining you in the material.

“Got a problem with that, Holland?” you asked. He rapidly shook his head, unsure if you were joking or not. “Good, now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go change.” You made your way into your bathroom, changing into the risky dress without any more interruptions from your boyfriend.

You took your time getting ready, wanting to make Tom wait just to build up even more anticipation.

“Y/N, hurry up,” he whined. “I want to see you, already,” he complained, whining like a child on Christmas who didn’t get the toy they wanted. You opened the bathroom door slowly, leaning against the frame, staring at him innocently.

“Oh wow, you look incredible,” he said, getting up from his seat on your bed to shuffle over to you, sliding his hands around your waist. You made eye contact with him through the mirror, giving him a seductive smile that had his hands wandering around your body.

“How is my girlfriend so attractive?” he asked. You giggled, leaning back into his touch.

“We need to go, we don’t want to be late,” you said, dodging having to respond to the compliment that made you feel all warm inside, taking his hand and your purse and leading him out of the door.

Tom was in awe of the restaurant when you arrived, he didn’t realise you were taking him somewhere this fancy. “This place is really nice,” Tom said, looking around the restaurant. His hand clinged to your waist nervously as you told the hostess about your reservation. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been somewhere this nice that hadn’t been some sort of family function, so he felt like royalty right now.

“Are you trying to bankrupt me?” he asked, poking your stomach. You slapped his hand away, turning your attention back to the woman.

“This is my treat, come on.” You snapped him out of his daze, guiding him with you to your table. He pulled your chair out for you, kissing your head and almost daring you to make the gentleman joke again.

“You know I’m not letting you pay for this, right?” he asked. You stared at him with a furrowed brow. “Why not?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m visiting you, let me spoil my girl.” He changed the topic of conversation before you got the chance to object.

“I’m so glad we got to do this,” he said. You shook your head, a grin growing on your face. You couldn’t lie though, you were happy to see him in real life again.

“Me too, I know we say this like every day,” you laughed. “But I really missed you Tom.”

He leaned over the table, kissing you gently before sitting back down in his own seat. You went straight for and picked up the drinks menu, making Tom laugh and shake his head. “Already on the alcohol.”

“Oh hush.” You scanned the list of wines, finding one that you and Tom had purchased before on a special occasion. You pointed to the name, seeing the cheeky grin spread across his face.

“I remember that night,” he chuckled. “How many rounds- I’m sorry I mean bottles, did we have that night?” Your jaw dropped, giggling at his false cover up. You shook your head.

“We’re in public, stop being inappropriate,” you warned. He shot you a wink, making your whole body flush for the thousandth time since he’d got here this morning.

“Hi, are you ready to order?” the waitress asked, glancing between you two and interrupting your reminiscence into the past. Tom looked up at her with a smile, her eyes widening.

“Could we just have a bottle of red wine for now, please,” he pointed to the one you meant. She nodded, trying to give him a flirty smile that made you snicker. She glared at you, timidly touching Tom’s shoulder before walking away.

“What was that?” you asked, a playful smirk that told Tom you weren’t mad at him.

“You can’t blame me, I’m just that irresistible.”

Her antics continued for most of the night, and you were growing more and more frustrated with how she was blatantly ignoring you to flirt with your boyfriend.

“If she flirts with you one more time, I won’t hesitate to knock over my wine on her,” you threatened, seeing Tom’s lips twitch into a smile.

“Are you jealous?” he asked, intertwining your fingers on the table. He raised his free hand in defense when you glared at him.

“Shut up.” You kicked him gently as a warning, seeing the wince cross Tom’s face.

“But not the red wine, you know that’ll stain,” he continued to tease, sarcasm lacing his words. You huffed, flipping him off. Tom didn’t let up on teasing you about your spontaneous hatred for the waitress all night. When she brought out your food he couldn’t help but make a few sly comments in response to her flirting.

“Do you want to try some?” he asked, holding his fork to you. He was trying to make up for pissing you off. You nodded, taking the food off of his fork with a hum.

“That’s really good.” He nodded, taking a sip of his wine.

“Do you want to try some of mine?” You offered, doing the same for him as he’d done for you. He took it with a thank you, telling you he really liked it. Your food didn’t last long, you were both starving and it was exceptionally good.

You and Tom grew more and more tipsy as the night went on. You began to flirt with him some more too. You’d forgotten how much you enjoyed spending time with Tom.

“Oh here she comes,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. Tom laughed, squeezing your hand in his.

“Do you need anything else?” she asked, her flirty gaze focused on Tom. You rolled your eyes, teasing your heel up his thigh under the table as you sipped on your drink. He coughed nervously, trying to ignore how close your foot was to his crotch.

“C-can we get another bottle of wine, please?” She nodded, leaving you both as you were.

“Spoiling me today are we?” you teased. He laughed, nodding his head. “Always, gorgeous.”

After your second bottle you didn’t waste much more time at the restaurant after paying the rather pricey bill, calling a taxi to take you back to the campus.

You could barely even stand straight by the time you were pushed up against your dorm room door. Your hands were working on unlocking it, struggling with the way his lips were attacking your neck and shoulders. You still weren’t wasted, but you could definitely feel the alcohol in your system, making everything feel lighter and Tom’s touch even more amplified than normal.

“So, when’s your roommate coming back?” he joked. You giggled quietly, throwing your jacket somewhere in the room.

“Very funny, now shut up and just get in my bed.” He laughed loudly, picking you up by your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist, grinning up at him when he dropped you back on your bed. “Get ready for the night of your life,” he whispered, attaching his lips to your neck.

“I’ve been ready.”

»»——⍟——««

Wednesday, 3rd April

As the months went by, the visits became less frequent, finding it increasingly more difficult to find time to actually physically go and see each other. Rather than at least once every two weeks, it started to be once in a while, and then eventually you wouldn’t see each other until the trip over Easter break.

You both tried to call as much as you could, but you eventually started missing each other's calls more and more. It got to the point where you could not talk to each other for a minimum of 3 days, with the exception of a quick text in a morning or just before you went to sleep and the occasional voicemail.

It felt like everyday one of you was waking up to the notification of a missed call on your phone, followed by the message you’d received a voicemail. They all went the same way, a greeting, making some kind of light hearted joke that you’d manage to plan badly again, a simple i love you and then a call me when you get this.

When Easter time finally rolled around, painfully slowly, you and Tom were able to organise a time when the both of you would be free so you could plan the trip you wanted to take together.

The familiar sound of your ringtone blared through your dorm room, a small smile creeping onto your lips when you saw Tom’s contact picture lighting up your phone. The picture was an old one you’d taken of his a few years ago, reminding you that you should probably update it soon with a more recent one, that is if you had one.

“Hey, Tom,” you said, greeting him sweetly. You got a hello back, followed by a rather uncomfortable silence that the two of you had never experienced before. “So, um, where are you thinking we should go?”

The man on the other end was biting his lip nervously, not sure if you’d like the sound of his idea or not, but this also had never happened before, so what was he supposed to do? He always came up with ideas you loved.

“I was thinking we could go to this cabin I found, really pretty view, um-“ He hated that he was unable to see your face right now, not able to see what kind of reaction you were giving off to his words. “You can say no of course, but I thought it’d be nice.” His voice trailed off towards the end and he spoke much quieter, almost like he was scared to hear your answer.

“That sounds really nice. I’d love to.” You could hear him let out a sigh of relief, the man feeling as though a weight had been lifted off of his chest.

“Great. I’ll make sure to call the place.” “I can’t wait.”

When the day of your trip rolled around you were nervous. You hadn’t seen your boyfriend in forever and you weren’t sure if things were automatically going to jump back to the way they’d been, even if you were hoping they were.

Your eyes landed on Tom with a smile, the man opening his arms to you for a hug. You had no problem practically jumping at him, wrapping your arms around his neck tightly while his snaked around your waist to hold your body close.

“I missed you, so much,” he whispered, his nose buried in your neck to take you all in. You agreed silently, pulling back to be able to press your lips onto his sweetly, sharing your first kiss in months.

Tom had been generous enough to pick you up from your campus and then drive you both down to the cabin, rather than you having to drive yourself. The car ride was full of the stories you hadn’t been able to tell each other yet, filling what would’ve been an awkward silence.

You were more than happy to be back with him, and little did you know he felt the exact same.

However, it felt like for the first few days of the week that you weren’t really there. Of course you and Tom were both physically there but it felt like you were sending longing gazes and looks from a distance rather than really feeling that natural spark between you both.

You’d be sitting on the couch in the cabin, both of you in silence as you watched any random movie that played on the TV in front of you. Normally the two of you would be making constant unnecessary commentary throughout the duration, but here you were, sitting stiffly next to your boyfriend.

“What is wrong with us?” Tom asked. You turned your head, furrowing your eyebrows at the pretty boy who was staring right back at you with those puppy eyes.

“What do you mean?” you asked. You had an idea that he was talking about the atmosphere between you both.

“This is so awkward, we- we’re usually so natural and us,” he complained. You sighed, leaning your head on his shoulder with the first display of affection that night.

“Yeah, I know. We’re probably just out of practice, right?” you suggested. You didn’t want to believe that your relationship could be going downhill, you were Y/N and Tom, that couldn’t possibly happen. “We’ve got this Tom, we’re still us.”

That short conversation seemed to have worked. Over the next few days, and the last few remaining days of your trip, you and Tom were practically back to your normal ways. Your affection and love was able to come naturally again, calming all your racing thoughts about the pair of you drifting apart.

Unlike the past few days, now you’d be in the kitchen cooking, laughing and making jokes while having mini food fights. Or you’d be getting ready for bed, brushing your teeth when Tom would wrap his arms around you from behind and start placing kisses up and down your neck, making you flush and giggle sweetly. You spent your mornings sharing sweet words and kisses that made you completely weak for the man, and even thinking about giving it up again for who knows how long brought you physical sadness.

When it came to the time you had to leave you were obviously sad, more than you thought you’d be when this week began. You and Tom had almost managed to rebuild your relationship to the strength it once was, so now it was hurting just as much as the first time he left on that Friday in September.

He drove you back to your campus in mainly silence, the two of you keeping your fingers interlocked while he drove, soft music playing over the radio in the background.

“How much longer?” you asked, hoping to have at least a little longer with him. He flashed you a small smile. “Under twenty minutes.”

You sighed, feeling him squeeze your hand in response while his eyes stayed fixated on the road.

In a very short twenty minutes Tom was pulling into the College, parking quickly and turning off the car. The two of you just sat there for a minute, not saying anything but at the same time saying everything that needed to be said.

“Well, I guess this is it,” you said, turning to him with a sad smile. He nodded his head, lifting your hand from where it rested in your lap to place a gentle kiss on the back of it.

“‘m gonna miss you,” he whispered, leaning forward to rest his forehead comfortably against yours. You hummed, quickly pecking his lips.

“Don’t forget to call me, Holland,” you warned, pointing your finger at him playfully.

“Wouldn’t even dream of it.”

»»——⍟——««

Sunday, 29th May

By the time June was about to roll around you hadn’t seen Tom in almost two months.

He never did call, and the calls you left for him only ended up being missed. Everything had gone back to the way it was before. Almost two whole months. You still had faith in him, and almost everyday you’d wait to see if he’d call. Most of your calls to him would go straight to voicemail, so you simply gave up on putting in the effort.

It was the same routine everyday. Wake up, go to class, wait for Tom’s call, give up. Today was slightly different because you had plans for the night. You tried to wait as long as you could in your dorm to see if Tom would call, but when the clock hit six you gave up.

Some girls you’d begun to be friends with from your History class had invited you to a party they were going to, so to take your mind off your boyfriend not calling, you agreed to go. You did some light makeup, curling your hair like you knew Tom liked, then slipped on a black dress that would’ve made him drool.

You snapped a few pictures, some of just your face but then others of you in your dress too, debating on whether or not you wanted to post them to your account where Tom would definitely see.

After staring at them for probably way too long, you gave in and did it anyway. You smiled as your friends gave nice comments, waiting to see absolutely anything from your boyfriend.

A sudden knock on your dorm door startled you away from your entrancement with your phone, opening it to see your new friends with large smiles. They held up a bottle of alcohol that would no doubt be for pre-drinks, making you laugh. You ignored their attempts at trying to get you to do a shot, telling them you were waiting on something from Tom.

“Are you ready to go yet?” one of them asked. You sighed sadly and nodded.

“Let me just grab my purse,” you said, you walked back over to your bed, checking your phone one last time with a sigh, still nothing.

“Alright, let’s go.” You smiled, closing your door behind you and heading off to the party to forget. You laughed together along the way, internally grateful for them trying to take your mind off your boyfriend.

But even in the party atmosphere, after they’d gone to get drinks or find someone to hook up with, you struggled to tear your eyes away from your phone.

“Y/N, I don’t want to see this phone again,” Lainey said, holding two drinks in her hands. You were guessing she was already tipsy.

“Hey, fuck him okay? He’s the one missing out.” You giggled, thanking her and nodding. You put your phone in your bag out of sight and took the drink from her outstretched hand.

“Now, let’s party,” she announced, dragging you into the crowd of people where you’d end up being for the remainder of the night.

When you finally got back to your dorm after the party, it was the first time you checked your phone in hours. You saw a couple missed calls from Tom, as well as a voicemail. Your excitement from the night faded and your heart clenched, frowning that you’d missed him again. Even when you were waiting for any sign of contact from him, you weren’t expecting him to call you today and now you just felt guilty for mentally cursing him out earlier on.

You played the voicemail on speaker as you were taking your makeup off. The sound of Tom’s voice still made you feel all warm inside, even when you were mad at him, and you were addicted to the feeling.

“Hi beautiful, looks like I missed you again.” He laughed. “We really need to get better time management.” You nodded your head with a smile, agreeing. “I just wanted to hear your voice, I had a pretty shitty day and uh, yeah,” he paused. After hearing that you were able to hear the obvious signs of sadness lingering in his tone. “I saw your post by the way, you looked gorgeous, I hope wherever you went you had fun.” It was quiet for a few seconds.

“Call me when you get this, I love you.”

Your heart ached, you didn’t know he’d had such a bad day. You planned on calling him back straight away, but upon noticing the time and realising that at three in the morning Tom would most likely be asleep, especially due to him having classes in the morning, you didn’t have much faith in him answering.

Just as you suspected, the call almost straight away went to voicemail, telling you to leave your message after the beep.

“Hey Tom, I’m so sorry I missed your call,” you started. “I-I was at this party and just got so caught up in it all, I didn’t even see my phone ring,” you paused, the line going silent again.

You knew when he listened to this voicemail that he’d hear how happy you sounded talking about the party. For now you knew you needed to say something else before the line cut you off.

“Well, I’m really sorry your day was bad. Call me back, I want to hear what happened, ‘nd know what I can do,” you told him. “I love you tom.”

Your eyes wouldn’t let you stay awake much longer after that. Letting you change into comfier clothes before you passed out for the night.

The next morning was a Monday, and you had absolutely nothing to do all day due to having no classes. You woke up earlier than you would’ve liked, having a quick snack for breakfast and then climbing back into your warm bed.

You pulled out one of the books Tom had bought you over Christmas, smiling as you traced the hardback cover. You could still vividly remember how happy you were the moment he’d given it to you.

“So I know I already got you something,” he stated, grabbing the wrapped book from out of his suitcase, “but I also know how much you’ve been wanting this.”

He placed the present in your hands. You thought it felt quite heavy, beginning to tear away the wrapping paper until the mystery was revealed. Your eyes widened as you read the front cover, over and over, just to make sure your eyes weren’t deceiving you. It was the same book that you’d been trying to find since its release, however it’d been sold out everywhere and you’d complained to your boyfriend countless times.

“Tom, oh my god,” you gasped, staring at him in shock, “How did you get this?”

“I have my ways.” His lips curved into a smirk and you pulled him into a tight hug, practically suffocating him.

“Thank you, you angel.” You kissed him softly, but it was a kiss that was filled with so much passion and adoration that it made your head spin. “You’re perfect.”

“I’m guessing this means you like it?” he teased. You rapidly nodded your head, even if he was being sarcastic.

“I adore you.”

You were engrossed with reading it for the next hour or so, a soft smile on your face as you got lost in the storyline. It was arguably unlike anything you’d ever read and you absolutely loved it.

The loud, blaring noise of your ringtone filled the silence in your room, making your heart leap, alerting you of an incoming phone call. You reached over to your nightstand, picking it up and glancing at the caller ID.

Seeing Tom’s name splayed across the screen made you smile, bringing the phone up to your ear after answering.

“Hi Tommy, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today,” you said, smile wide as you answered the call. “I was just reading the book you got me for that one Christmas, d’you remember?” You heard him clear his throat, taking a deep breath before he spoke.

“I think we should talk.” Your heart dropped, smile falling from your face, putting down your book and sitting up straighter because he definitely didn’t sound happy.

“What?” you asked, following with a nervous laugh. It probably wasn’t what you thought it was right? It was just a harmless phone call. “Where is this coming from?”

Tom felt vulnerable. He was never one who was amazing at having deep conversations where he’d wear his heart on his sleeve. And he was positively in love with you, so this was torture. “I never talk to you anymore- We never talk anymore. You’re always out having fun and I-I feel like you don’t want to be with me now.” You frowned, tears beginning to cloud your eyes at his confession. You weren’t even aware he felt like that until now. You were glad he’d told you, but your heart ached at the idea of you making him feel like this unintentionally.

“Tom, I love you, with my whole heart and I-“ You heard his shaky breath and quiet sniffle down the phone line, your heart breaking at the sign he’d been crying- or maybe even still was. “Tom.”

“No, I, it’s breaking my heart Y/N,” he cleared his throat. “I just-“ he stopped talking, sighing loudly. He was starting to get frustrated with himself. He didn’t know how to confess his feelings and it felt to him as though he was making it harder.

You weren’t able to process what was happening right now. Your thoughts were running wild and you were scared to death that he was about to break your heart, something he promised he wouldn’t do when you started dating. As cliche as it sounds, you thought he was it for you. You weren’t able to picture anyone else in your life besides Tom, and even though you were young, you were certain this would be endgame.

You were crying now too, tears racing down your cheeks, dripping from your chin to your lap as you sniffled. You whimpered his name into the phone, prepared to fix this and fight for your relationship, you couldn’t lose him like this, not this easy. Part of you was hurting for him, you felt utter sympathy for what you’d been putting him through, you wish he’d told you sooner so you could’ve tried harder. But, another part of you was angry at him, for springing this onto you so suddenly, for doing it over the phone and for being so selfish.

“What are you saying?” you asked, your voice coming out weak and filled with obvious desperation. “Tom, please, I can’t lose you.”

There was a few moments of silence. A few hours away from you Tom was sitting alone in his dorm room. At least he thought he was alone. For the entirety of the phone call Harrison had been standing outside of their dorm room. He was about to enter when he heard Tom talking on the phone, not wanting to interrupt he decided to wait, but the course of the call clearly took a turn from the usual lovey-dovey conversations he overheard.

Tom had his knees pulled up to his chest, his head leaning back against the wall and his bottom lip tugged between his teeth as he played out all the things that could happen from now on in the call.

He was evidently stressed, tears streaked across his cheeks as he took shaky breaths to push down his sobs. “I-I think we should talk about this another time,” he said, the sound of a small sniffle following down the phone. You squeezed your eyes shut, more tears spilling down your cheeks.

You didn’t know what that meant. Did he want to break up? Did he want to fix things? When was another time? There were so many questions floating around unanswered and you wanted to scream at him for leaving things so open ended.

“I-I don’t understand. We can figure this out- Please.” Your voice broke towards the end, showing your pain through to the man who was struggling to hold back all of his emotions.

He hated knowing he’d put you in pain but his own heart was hurting too, and it was almost like part of his resented you for that.

He gave up a little bit, deciding he couldn’t do this anymore, not today. “I’ll call you some other time Y/N. Goodbye.” You let out a sob as the line went silent.

Tom, for one, hadn’t told you he loved you when ending the call, and two, he’d said goodbye. The one thing you promised that you wouldn’t say to each other while you were gone, a promise you made on the very first day he left. It was always, see you later, and now you didn’t know where you both stood.

When Harrison heard the call ended he took it as his chance to enter his room, only to find Tom with his head buried in his hands as he tried to muffle his heartbroken cries.

“Hey, man.” The brunette looked up nervously, furiously wiping his eyes and trying to pretend as though he hadn’t just been bawling his eyes out. “You okay?” he asked.

Tom wasn’t an idiot. He knew he looked a mess, he knew Harrison noticed, and he didn’t particularly feel up to lying right now. He just needed a friend.

“No,” he answered honestly. Harrison frowned, taking a seat next to Tom on his bed. The two hadn’t been that close since becoming roommates, but were much closer than when they’d first met.

Harrison pulled Tom close to him in a friendly hug. He hadn’t quite been through a breakup so he didn’t know what to say to Tom to help him, but for Tom this was enough.

“Things will get better, I promise.” He shook his head, almost laughing at how ridiculous his roommate sounded right now.

“I don’t think they will. Not anymore.”

»»——⍟——««

Thursday, 3rd June

It got to the point where you hadn’t heard from Tom in four days. You were almost sure it was over at this point if he didn’t call you soon. You’d tried calling him of course, left countless voicemails and texts, as well as the ones to wish him a happy birthday, something you were rather upset you missed.

You’d barely left your bed in days, it felt like you were too heartbroken to even move. Little did you know Tom was exactly the same. He’d overthought everything he’d done, refusing to speak to anyone but Harrison, who was only making sure he still ate and drank, meaning he missed lots of messages and calls on his birthday.

With a lot of persuading and guilt tripping from his roommate he finally decided to do something about it. “You need to talk to her, mate. Don’t let this ruin everything you have.”

After that he showered for the first time in days, which Harrison was very grateful for, and got dressed and was ready to head out with one last burst of reassurance to himself.

When you heard the knock on your dorm door you didn’t even consider moving to see who it was, choosing instead to keep ignoring the world like you’d been doing for the last near week. You’d ignored pretty much everyone that had tried to see if you were still alive this week, messages from friends included.

It was only when the knocking became more urgent that you started to get frustrated. Normally after a few short minutes your friends would give up and just leave, but this only seemed to be carrying on.

You groaned, wiping your dried tears and pushing yourself out of bed begrudgingly. You didn’t care that you looked like a mess anymore, so you didn’t care that this person, whoever it was, was going to see you like this.

You pulled open the door open rather angrily, your eyes widening in shock when you saw Tom standing there with a bag on his shoulder, looking almost as broken as you did, but possibly more cleaned up as he’d actually made an effort.

You didn’t know how to react at first. You didn’t know where the two of you currently stood and you didn’t want to push his boundaries, but seeing him standing there told you he was ready to fix this. When he flashed you a small smile you didn’t waste another second, nearly flinging yourself into his arms, almost crushing whatever it was he was holding.

“Oh, thank god,” you cried, wrapping your arms around his torso. You were scared he wouldn’t hug you back at first, confirming what you thought about your relationship truly being over. That wasn’t the case though. Tom wrapped his free arm around your shoulders, squeezing you tightly in his grasp, his hand drifting to the back of your head to keep you tight against him.

The two of you thrived being in each other’s touch again after so long without it, feeling as though your heart was finally mended again.

You were reluctant to pull away. However, you unfortunately had to at some point. You led him inside your room, trying to quickly tidy at least a little bit of your mess that had collected over the past few days, even if that meant just making your bed for you both to sit on.

Tom set whatever had been in his hands down on your desk and then placed his bag on your floor before sitting down next to you on your bed, finally letting you see the mini cake he’d brought with him. You felt your heart flutter, the idea that he still wanted to be able to celebrate his birthday with you was too precious for you to handle.

You didn’t talk for a few minutes, messing with the sleeves on your jumper that was probably Tom’s as you waited for him to talk.

“Y/N,” he said, watching as you raised your head to look at him. “C’mere.”

He opened his arms for you, not feeling physically close enough to you as he wanted to be. He helped you crawl into his lap, your legs thrown over his while your face tucked into his neck. His hand rubbed up and down your back when he felt the way you were shaking slightly.

You were trying to string together the sentence of words you wanted to say to him but for some reason it was just too emotional for you.

“I-I was so scared Tommy,” you admitted. “I didn’t want us to be over,” you cried.

Tom hated seeing you like this, knowing that he’d been putting you through this for days without returning your calls or messages, even if he was no better on the other side of the phone. He shook his head, cupping your cheeks and making you look at him so he knew his words would sink in. He gently wiped away your tears, even if they just kept on coming.

“I would never, I promise,” he said. “I could never let you go that easily, not without trying to make it right. I’m sorry for putting you through that.” You smiled, for the first time in days.

“Good, you’re too hot to leave me,” you teased. He chuckled, shaking his head at you. “I’m sorry too, by the way. I didn’t know I was hurting you.”

It fascinated you that all you needed was to apologise and pretty much all was forgiven. Things clearly weren’t going back to normal straight away but you were glad you were able to at a minimum not break up.

The whole moment felt like something from a movie. Tom was looking so lovingly into your eyes, silently pouring all his love for you in the simple action of holding you while his thumb stroked your cheekbone. You looked back with an exact reflection of his own emotions, your heart feeling as though it was mending everything that had broken it this past week.

Tom took the moment to lean down to kiss you, his lips curving into a frown when you turned your head for his lips to meet your cheek.

“Why can’t I kiss you?” he whined. He looked like a scolded puppy, his expression bringing a smile to your lips. Your expression changed though when you remembered why you didn’t let him kiss you, letting out a huff that twisted into a frown. Tom gently kissed away the crease that had formed between your brows, your face heating up at the simple gesture of love.

“You said goodbye,” you said, hitting his chest lightly. He cocked his head in confusion. “What?” he asked, innocence lacing his tone.

“On the phone. You said goodbye, and you told me we wouldn’t do that.”

He could tell you were getting worked up again, his hands coming up to wipe any stray tears that fell. “Oh bub, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot for doing that over the phone,” he apologised, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind your ear to keep it out of your eyes.

You smiled at him, letting him think you’d forgiven him enough to finally let him kiss your lips. He leaned in again, only inches away this time when you pulled your head back, giggling quietly to yourself as he let out an audible groan.

“Now what?” he asked.

“You need to tell me what that cake is for first,” you grinned. He rolled his eyes, reaching over as much as he could to grab it from your desk.

“I thought, seeing as we missed my birthday, we could celebrate together a little late.”

Your heart melted as he confirmed your thoughts. You rested your head against his shoulder, letting out a sigh as you allowed your eyes to close for a few seconds.

“I missed you,” you mumbled. It was something the two of you said a lot, but even then every time was just as true as the next. He hummed quietly, kissing the top of your head lovingly.

“I know, I missed you too.” You gave in this time when he gently guided your chin so you were looking up at him, letting him press his lips to yours gently. Your hand snaked into the hair at the back of his head, keeping him close to you so he couldn’t pull away from you prematurely.

When your lips parted you rested your forehead against his, your eyes tracing the freckles that decorated the skin of his nose and cheeks.

He lifted his hands up slightly, a motion to show the object he was holding. “So, how about some cake?”

You let a soft giggle slip past your lips, nodding your head as you wiped away and excess tears that still remained on your face. Tom rummaged through a few things in his bag until he found some utensils to eat the cake with, making you laugh at how he’d come so prepared.

“Happy late birthday to me,” he said, taking a bite of the cake with a content look on his face. You hummed, watching him with complete adoration glittering in your eyes.

“Happy late birthday, Tommy.”

The two of you ate in a comfortable silence, relishing in the fact you were back together again. Your mind was brought back to the bag you’d seen him bring, catching his attention long enough to ask him a question.

“Are you planning on staying?” you asked, trying to contain any excitement just in case you’d end up getting your hopes up. He nodded, trying to suppress his grin as he saw your eyes light up. “I want to take the time to make this right again, Y/N,” he admitted. “As long as it takes.”

You agreed, pressing another kiss to his soft lips. “As long as it takes.”

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

tom holland taglist → @seutarose @lmaotshollandd @photoshopart15 @hopelessly-harry @call-me-baby-gir1 @icyhollands @sinisterspidey @siriuslyslyslytherin @musicalkeys-blog @itstaskeen @tpwk-grande @zspideyy @spideyssunshine @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lowkey-holland @hollandcrush @wizkiddx @sannie-san-shine @sonnydoesrandomshit @hopeless-romantic-baby @thehumanistsdiary @dummiesshort @itsbieberxholland @lillucyandthejets @piscesparker @bvttercupbby @mymilliefrommarketing @spideyspeaches @kujokura @l0velyevans @jess-holland23 @felicityparkers @quxxnxfhxll @captainamirica @tomsirishgirlx @lou-la-lou @slutforsr @tayyx @bora-world @annathesillyfriend @lovableparker @whoeveniskendall @hollandswife @sunwardsss @dhtomholland @messedupmyfuckinglife @bi-lmg @londonspidey @multixfandomwriter @mrsholland96 @tomhollandismyhusband1996 @just-lost-inbetween-worlds @magicalxdaydream @hallecarey1 @aayaissaa

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland oneshot #frat!tom

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dreamcatcherrs · 4 years ago

Text

toxic - sapnap x reader

+ this is an entry for the writing competition hosted by @salinesoot! go and show them some love<3

++ DISCLAIMER; in no way do I claim that sapnap is addicted to any form of drugs. this is all just fiction! with that I hope you enjoy this longer story :)

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: drug addict/ex-lovers au! addict!sapnap x addict!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: months after your break-up, nick reaches out to you to put a peaceful ending to the disastrous fall of your relationship. the meet-up is rough; you're not willing to comply with anything he’s saying, and he just can't seem to get over the state he sees you in once he arrives.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 5.952

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: !ADDICTION! drugs, alcohol, smoking, break-ups, swearing, manipulation (?), abandonment.

I want to put a very big emphasis on addiction, as I don't want to trigger anyone! if you feel in any way uncomfortable with the things listed above, please don't continue reading :) thank you.

playlist:

save your tears - the weeknd

so high - doja cat

apocalypse - cigarettes after sex

high - sivik

habits - tove lo

champagne problems - taylor swift

the silence in the room was violent - it lay like a thick fog between you; hard to breathe in, hard to see through. not to mention the rays of sunshine hitting your back through the windows behind you, glowing into his clear eyes and burning you up inside. but not in a nice way - not in the same way that the first intake of the tip of a cigarette would once set to a flame; not in the same way the almost glowing row of white would once going up your nose and through your system. no, this kind of burn felt claustrophobic, not freeing or euphoric at all. it felt awful - but not as awful as his sorry eyes staring over your body like you were the entrance to a pity party.

a quiet flicker sprung from the lighter in your hand, a small flame glowing under the shade of your frame. your brows furrowed slightly as you lifted the lighter to the death stick sat between your lips, silently lighting it and immediately sucking the sweet smoke right into your tired body like it was oxygen to you. removing the cigarette from your lips and letting it hang from your index and middle finger, you blew out the smoke in one big puff, eyes meeting his.

“so... what do you want?” you snarled at your ex-lover, leaning back on your seat on the counter to lean your weight on your right hand - the one without the cigarette -, watching as he inhaled through his mouth slightly, only to quickly close it again once catching some of the smoke in his mouth. he waited till the cloud was gone to speak up;

“can you... not do that in here?” was the first thing he could say to you. one year after leaving you, and that’s the first thing he has to say? it made you scoff, but you chose to put out the cigarette in the ash tray beside you anyways. funny how times can change so quickly.

he cleared his throat before adding; “I don't smoke anymore - I’ve been clean for nine months now.”

the way he said it with such pride, such happiness - it angered you. was it because you were the one sitting in the dust and ashes of addiction, and not him? well, you both knew it wasn't. or at least he would if he had a sense of memory, which you guessed he had.

all you could do was raise your eyebrows at his words, arms crossing over your chest after bouncing off the kitchen counter. “I asked you a question nick - not for an update of your wonderful life,” you spat, squinting your eyes at him. his eyes somehow softened, and you just hated to see it. because you knew it made your heart beat just a little bit faster. you knew it brung back memories that you both despised and at the same time absolutely loved to have.

he moved away from the fridge he had been leaning his back against, scratching the back of his neck as he looked at the ground instead of your eyes.

“I came to apologise.”

“for what?”

“for… everything.”

it was at the biggest college party of the year for newcomers that he met you.

he was high. he’d spotted you in the crowd, looking like a lost puppy. was that what made him come to you? no, but he couldn’t deny the fact that your innocent complex caught his attention. throughout the night, his eyes would gaze away from the conversation he had with his friends and over to you, and after a nice two rows of heroin through his nostrils, bubbling his blood and dilating his pupils, was when he noticed the guy approaching you. grabbing you, twirling your hair around his finger when you were clearly uncomfortable with it. and as if he hadn't already had about 3 already, he chugged a whole can of beer all in one go, before pushing himself out of the chair he was sat in. clay and george mumbled something in drunk behind him that his ears blocked out anyway as he moved towards the douche in front of you, combing a had through his hair.

he made it to you just as the guy grabbed your thigh with his rough, dirty fingers that god knows where had been, and with complete fury and the world spinning around him, nick grabbed the guy by his shoulder, turning him around to be met with his fist. when the realisation hit you, you visibly gasped (not that he could hear it over the loud music or the ringing in his ears), watching in shock as the guy stumbled back into the cupboard behind him, hand reaching up to grab his eye. the people around you seemed to notice as well, some stepping back a little in shock, some taking photos, some laughing and wooing for more. when nick noticed that the guy was about to get up again, and to his knowledge about to throw some punches back at him, he quickly grabbed you by the waist, pulling you to his side.

“get your filthy hands off my s/o,” he snarled, drunkenly and not very intimidating, but still made for a good effort. he didn't notice the way you'd tried to hide your disgust when smelling his alcoholic breath and his scent of weed - everything was hard to pay close detail to when in a drunken state like his.

to nick’s surprise, the guy, who by the was was way bigger than him and could probably easily take him down in one hit, backs away with a bleeding nose, and everyone else returns to partying as normal.

he turns to you, and you’re blushing. either that or you’ve just taken 10 shots in a row, but that was clearly not the case. your lips moved, but he would have to have the most powerful ears to be able to hear you over the loud music pumping through his body. so instead he leans down, lips hovering by your ear.

“what?” he slurred, loud enough for you to hear, and as if your cheeks weren’t already burning, his close proximity to you sure didn’t help. from behind, a couple of giggling girls shoved into him to get over to the counter filled with alcohol, causing him to push you further against the cupboard. his hand landed on your hip in reflex, preventing him from literally falling into you.

quickly you uttered out into his ear, louder this time; “I- I said thank you,” and closed your eyes tightly in embarrassment, because why did you have to stutter? and why did this drunk mess of a guy have to be so goddamn attractive?

he took a step back, letting his hands fall with him. he looked back at his friends - clay glancing over at him, laughing confusedly, while george was busy downing a shot with karl. he ignored clay’s signal to come back to the table, and instead leaned over to your ear again.

“you wanna get out of here?”

your eyes widened. why did this complete stranger want to leave one of the biggest parties with you? it would be stupid to say yes, yet something in you strived to know what the night could turn out like if you did. it’s not like you had much fun anyway, and what the hell, your life isn’t one filled with surprises, so what was one night filled with them gonna change?

“so... you’re a first year’er?” nick inhaled deeply, the smoke from the blunt of weed between his lips going straight to his head. you nervously scratched your elbow, kicking a harmless rock that was in the way of your path as you nodded. the smell from the stick of weed in his hand went through your nostrils, tickling your nose in a not-so-pleasant way. you chose to ignore this though, not wanting to seem fussy.

“yeah. but parties are not really my forte, in case you hadn’t noticed,” you laughed quietly, folding your arms over your chest when a cold breeze fanned your body. he turned to look at you with slightly squinted eyes, taking in your sober self.

“well, have you ever tried weed? cause I’ll tell you; everything can be a party with this shit.” he laughed at himself, sucking in smoke once again from the blunt, before turning to see you shake your head. he suddenly passed it in your direction. you stared down at it, a trail of smoke rising from the tip of it, before looking at him again. “wanna try?”

he didn't look too bothered wether you said yes or no - just high and drunk out of his mind, which actually made him look kinda peaceful and… cute? what the fuck. you shrugged your shoulders, grabbing the stick of weed from between his fingers. it was the start of college - everyone does this, right?

“do I just… inhale?” you asked, clearly a rookie and non-professional weed-smoker. he chuckled, stopping in his tracks, making you stop as well, as he fished out something from the pocket of his jacket; a lighter.

“yeah, you just gotta light it again cause of the wind. just treat it like a cig.” you raised your eyebrow at him, watching as he stepped closer to you with the lighter, waiting for you to put the blunt between your lips, and when you didn't was when he noticed your confusion and raised eyebrow. he looked shocked. “you've never smoked a cigarette before?” you shook your head, swinging your arms along with their place inside the pockets of your jacket, a lopsided smile forming on your face. his eyes widened further. “drugs? alcohol? nothing?” you gave an innocent smile, flashing your teeth at him as you shook your head. he raised his eyebrows. “damn. well, it’s no shocker to me that you don't like parties then. you've never tried real partying.”

he softly took the blunt from your hand, gesturing for you to open your mouth, before tucking it between your parted lips. he moved closer to you, close enough so he could focus on protecting the flame from the wind using his hand, and holding the lighter up to the tip of the weed stick. “this’ll be fun,” he mumbled to himself, igniting the lighter. “now you just inhale and then eventually blow out the smoke. it might burn to start with, but fuck does it feel good afterwards.”

you did as he said, squinting your eyes as you inhaled the smoke, feeling your throat burn with every passing second you of inhaling, and before you had the chance to blow it into a cloud casually, you coughed out all of the smoke, choking on the pure taste and burn of weed. he chuckled lightly, patting your back gently as he watched you gasp for fresh air.

“alright alright, not too bad.” he took the blunt once you handed it over to him again, easily inhaling the smoke like it was nothing to him, before blowing it out into the fresh september air in different sizes of ‘o’s. you watched in amazement as he did so, wondering how long you’d have to smoke for, for a person to be able to do that. your guess was quite a while.

he handed it over to you again, encouraging you to take it. you did. “here, keep it.” he sent you a dopey smile, watching as you took it. you placed it in your mouth just as the wind passed through you again, making your body shiver very obviously. you were stupid to not bring a jacket. in your defense, you thought that you wouldn’t have stayed long at that party anyway; not that you’d be here, walking through an empty playground with a stranger. well, not a stranger anymore - nick was his name, as you’d come to learn.

he noticed your freezing self as you inhaled again, the smoke making you cough again even when you tried your hardest not to. busy getting your oxygen under control, you didn’t notice him taking off his leather jacket before it hung heavy on your shoulders, immediately giving warming you up from the body warmth it had consumed from him.

you moved the stick out of your mouth, looking at him with a raised eyebrow, trying to play his gesture off cool. “what are you doing? you’ll freeze.”

he scoffed playfully, inhaling the fresh smell of the cool air. “I’m drunk out of my mind right now. you think I even think about what temperature it is right now?” you giggled at that. it was crazy how your cheeks were able to grow so warm despite the cold breeze flushing over you constantly, hands tugging the jacket tighter to yourself.

“thank you,” you quietly said, a small smile spreading across your face. your head started feeling empty - a good kind of empty, causing you to smile even more without even noticing. the sudden release of dopamine in your brain was causing you to feel lighter - that’s what it was, you thought.

without realising, your eyes had been closed and you’d stopped walking anymore, just taking in the feeling and the nice, fresh air hitting your skin in small waves. you felt a hand on your back, and then heard a quiet laugh from beside you. you turned in the direction, opening your eyes and smiled up at the handsome creature of a male in front of you. he smiled along with you, looking into your clouded eyes with his reddened ones, placing his hands on your neck softly.

he started laughing. and you started laughing. you placed your hands on top of his, leaning in closer to get a better look at his eyes. they looked like a cave filled with shiny crystals if you looked close enough. and you’d still be looking into them when he kissed you if he hadn’t closed them.

it was mainly a very toothy kiss, your white pearls clanging together as your smiles stayed on your faces throughout the kiss. when he pushed his tongue in between them though, they slightly faltered, and your hands flew up to hold his face in your hands as he started kissing you harder and with additional sloppiness.

you pulled away to catch your breath, and before he had the chance to lean in for a second kiss, you placed the marijuana between your lips, spending him a playful smile as you sucked in the burning smoke.

were you high or were you just crazy about this guy that you barely even knew? at that very moment you felt that the answer was both.

your brows furrowed. he actually looked… sorry? you weren't sure if you were willing to hear what he had to say - after all he’d put you through. but… something made you listen. something made you wanna give him the chance to speak up. maybe it was the soft spot you had for him in you heart, that you so badly wanted to deny yourself was there.

“look… I know I’m the reason you've ended up like this. I’m the reason you can't even let go of that pack of cigarettes in your hand. and I can't stop thinking about that every single day. I- I ruined you, y/n. and I realise- well, I’ve realised this a long time ago - I just left you here to rot. all alone. I fucked you up, and left you to deal with it all alone. and I’m really fucking sorry about that. I treated you so badly and got you into things you probably wouldn't have gotten into if you'd never met me...” he trailed off, a solemn look in his eyes, almost glowing as they stared compassionately into yours.

you broke away from them, a soft frown on your face as they trailed off to the wine shelf stacked with bottles of alcohol behind him. he was right. you knew he was. but it didn’t explain why he came here. to seek your sympathy? for you to accept his apology? to give him that form of closure? you weren’t really sure if he deserved that.

he saw the look on your face, and figured he’d continue; “I don’t expect you to accept my apology or... stop being mad at me. I just wanted to come here to finish things the right way instead of the way we left it. well, the way I left it.” all of a sudden he stopped in his tracks, eyes focused on your arm. his eyes widened once noticing the bruise on the inside of your elbow, clearly from some type of syringe or needle. he would know what that looked like.

he took swift steps towards you, grabbing your arm in shock. you were worse than he had thought. you looked down in shame when his eyes tried meeting yours.

“y/n,” he said seriously, very carefully rubbing his thumb across the mark. “you need help. like, serious help. you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

with that, you tore your arm away from him, staring into his eyes with your eyebrows furrowed and teary-eyed. “why do you care? since when did you ever care, nick? I don’t understand why you’re here - you don’t really want to help me.” you stepped away from him, heading over to the pile of ashes from the previously smoked cigarettes to get another one, but were stopped by his hand grabbing your arm.

he hugged you.

you sobbed into his shoulder,

and hugged him back.

you swallowed a big gulp of air, craning your neck as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. a pleasurable smile appeared on your face, the sweet feeling of cocaine rushing through your system being the cause of it. you lay down on the flat rooftop of the college gym, inhaling the smoke from the already ignited cigarette between your two fingers. you blew the smoke out into the air in small rings, like nick had showed you, happily succeeding in it. needless to say, you'd done it for what felt like a million times before.

nick grabbed your hand from his place on the roof beside you. you turned your head to look at him, squeezing his hand in the process. he moved closer to you, lifting your hand to his lips before placing a wet kiss onto the back of it. he gestured for you to place the cigarette between his lips, and you did so, holding it in place as he inhaled the smoke like you had. when you moved the cigarette away from him though, he pushed you closer to him by the back of your neck, placing this lips on yours in time for him to blow the smoke from his mouth into yours, catching you by surprise.

you waited till he’d moved away again to blow the smoke out, turning your head as you did so so that he wouldn’t get it in his face. he laughed at the way your eyes had widened, leaning over you to place a kiss on your flush cheek.

“did you like that?” he asked with a raspy voice, followed by a giggle and still holding your hand in his as he clung it to his chest. you looked up at him with a pouty smile, watching as his eyes crinkled at your soundless response.

“you know… we’re probably not allowed up here,” you muttered, tracing figures onto his palm

“yeah, we’re not allowed many things. including all of this cocaine, but I don't plan on stopping,” he replied nonchalantly, clawing up some of the white, illuminating powder onto his finger, sniffing it up his nose with one large inhale, before exhaling deeply in satisfaction. you watched as he did so, and it made your chest turn. something about this felt wrong all of a sudden. you felt bad, ashamed to even be sat on a roof at 2 am, doing drugs and smoking weed, when you really came here to study and make friends.

your thoughts did not just swim away once he started leaving small little pecks onto your neck, hair tickling your jawline with bubbly giggles flying past his lips. you gently pushed him off, letting go of his hand and standing up from the rooftop. your sudden distress did not go unnoticed by nick, though, and he stood up with you, stumbling, but standing, watching as you threw the remains of the cigarette onto the ground, and looked off onto your campus with a clenched jaw and stern look on your face.

nick was confused, and a little uncertain with what he should do. you'd never acted like something was wrong before, so he didn’t exactly know what to do in this type of situation. all he could do was walk over to you, standing by your side as he looked off into the same direction as you. his eyes glanced over to you every now and then, chewing on what to say exactly. he tried saying something, but stopped himself before he had the chance to even let out a squeak.

“is.. what- argh. did I do something wrong?” he finally spoke, frustrated with his own form of speech. you turned your head to him, your small smile causing relief to rush through his body. when you responded with a ‘no’, he felt a little better, but that still didn’t stop him from seeing right through that smile and into your worried self. “well, what's wrong then?”

what's wrong? you almost wanted to ask yourself that question. why would you want to ruin such a nice moment with him just because of some doubt? maybe it was because you thought that all good things wouldn't last, and that whatever this was between you was too good to be true. or maybe it was the fact that you could feel your lungs set on fire just thinking of every bad thing you’d consumed into your previously healthy body, head feeling empty, but at the same time heavy enough to keep all of the bad things inside of it to weigh down on you. maybe it was because you'd never felt so unlike yourself before as you do now, and you weren't so sure if that was a good thing anymore.

when you told him this (well, the parts about the drugs, not your feelings), he sighed heavily, placing a hand on your shoulder to fully turn you to face him. “y/n,” he started, moving his hand up to your cheek and brushing his thumb over your cheekbone, sending you a lopsided grin. “you're overthinking too much.” you raised your eyebrows slightly, looking at him with a mix of confusion and hope in your eyes. he continued; “we’re just having fun. there’s noting wrong with that! isn’t that what college is all about?”

he did his best to assure you that nothing was wrong, and it seemed to be working. you eased up - he could feel it -, yet you still had that worried expression stuck on your face, and he knew he had to do something to change that. he kissed you softly, cold nose touching yours in the process. you couldn’t help but to kiss him back, placing your hands on the sides of his neck as you closed your eyes tightly, wanting nothing more than to get lost in his lips.

when he pulled away, the tip of his index finger lightly bopped your nose, causing the very least of a smile to form on your face. that made him smile. “don’t worry, baby,” he assured you, kissing your forehead before fishing the metallic circle-shaped box out of his pocket, offering you some of the addicting white powder by handing it to you. “we’re in this together.”

his phone buzzed on the coffee table, the waves of vibrations feeling as if they filled up the entire room. someone was calling him, and you only just managed to see that the caller ID was someone named “rose” before he dismissed the call. as far as you could remember, he’d never even met someone by that name.

he put his phone in his pocket, doing up the zipper before staring across the table and over to you again. his brushing off didn’t help your curiosity from spilling out. “aren’t you gonna get that?” you questioned, wiping the wetness on your cheeks away fully from your previous outburst of tears. you could still see the tear stains on his shirt.

he shook his head. “I have more important matters right now.” your heart warmed at his words and you hated to feel that. of course you’d been on his social media since your break-up - you knew very well that the girl calling was his new girlfriend. and as much as you hated yourself for feeling it, you couldn’t help the jealousy from flaming up inside of you. you decided to hold back from saying more about it, though, knowing that it would just be your hurt and anger talking.

he stared at you for a while with droopy puppy eyes, and it made you hate this moment even more, moving around in your seat to distract yourself from the situation. but then his hand was on yours, squeezing gently like he’d done so many times before. you tried not looking into his eyes, cause you knew it’d make you weaker, but it was so damn hard when all you could feel was his eyes burning into your skin, the pity from him seeping right into you. it made you feel awful.

“I want to help you, y/n. get you out of this shithole I put you in in the first place,” he explained lowly, rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand. tingles trickled up your arm and down your spine, a knot forming in your stomach. you looked down at the table, away from him. “I still care for you, you know?” he gave your hand a squeeze, wanting you to look at him again.

you didn’t.

he sighed.

letting go of your hand, he stood up from the chair. your eyes followed him as he walked over to your side of the table, pulling out the chair that was right beside you and taking a seat on it. he looked at you for a while, taking in the way you looked.

your eyes were bloodshot, red streaks coming out from the beautiful crystal in the middle of your eye. those deep and dark bags under your eyes weren’t there before, the cause of them being so very obvious. you were thinner, frail, weak. you looked as if you would break if he as much as lay a finger on you - like you’d turn to dust if he tried reaching out to you. if he tried to save you. it was soul-crushing to see you in this state. he couldn’t believe he’d done this to you.

you noticed his staring. he didn’t care. you needed to know this had gone too far, even if he was the cause of it.

he pulled his phone out of his pocket, pulling up a list of names and numbers on his phone from his contacts. he gave you his phone.

“these are the places I went to when I tried getting clean. it’d be no problem getting you in there. you just have to try. have to want the help. that’s all I ask from you.” you scrolled through the contacts slowly, like it’d make a difference to the foreign names on the screen.

“nick, I-,” you sighed and shook your head. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“of course you can,” he assured you, grabbing your hand once again. you turned your head to him, heart pumping louder in your chest as you stared at him. you missed him, you realised. “you won’t be alone.”

it all happened so fast.

you pulled him to you by his hand, yours coming up to grab his cheek softly to simultaneously pull his face to yours, closing your pained eyes tightly and-

“what are you doing?”

your voice boomed through the dark room. you stood with crossed arms and a tired look on your face, having just woken up by the rustling coming from the living room, only to find your boyfriend packing his stuff with tear-stained cheeks. worry shot through your tired body as you watched him halt, staring back at you with a startled expression on his face.

“y/n? wh-why are you awake?” he quickly shoved a shirt of his into the duffel bag in his hands, running a hand through his hair as he looked at you with baggy eyes.

your eyebrows furrowed. you knew what this looked like, and you realised exactly what was happening. he was leaving you. he’d been distant for the past few weeks, but you never thought it was because of you. you thought that, maybe, it was just a phase. because, he would never really leave you. would he?

you took a step towards him. “nick are you… leaving me?” you could feel the tears well up in your eyes when you heard yourself say it out loud. you felt like you’d just been hit by a truck, lungs failing and body crashing down. you didn’t understand. you didn’t understand at all.

he didnt answer, just looked down in shame? sorrow? you didn’t care. how could he leave you? how could he? you wanted to pinch yourself to wake up from this horrible dream- no. from this nightmare. but this wasn’t just a nightmare - it was reality. this was really happening.

“I-I don't understand, nick. don't you l-love me?” you sobbed, feeling your wet tears trickle down your face. here they came. the tears you hadn’t cried for so long now.

he softened up at the sight of you crying, wanting so badly to hug you, comfort you, but knowing that he couldn’t let himself. he had to leave somehow. leave this town, this drug-filled life. he had to escape it, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to with you.

“I can't stay here, y/n. I have to go,” he muttered lowly, grabbing his headphones from the coffee table and stuffing them into the bag as well. he started packing again.

“wh-why? I thought things were good between us?”

“they're not, y/n!” he yelled suddenly, causing you to step back slightly. he turned to you, a wild look on his face as his arms flailed around in the air. “I’m sick of only being able to feel good because I’m drugged up or drunk. I’m getting clean.”

he packed the last couple of things into the bag, scanning the room quickly to make sure he got most of it with him, before taking haste steps over to grab his jacket from the coat hanger. you followed after him with just as fast steps, heart beating out of your chest. was this the last time you were gonna see him? no. you refused to believe that.

“b-but you can't just leave me!” you pulled at his arm, tugging him over in your direction as he struggled to slide his leather jacket on. he looked at you for a moment, chest heaving slightly from the bad feeling he had inside of him.

“if you're not gonna let me leave, then you have to.”

you looked at him with pure shock and anger- the audacity. he sighed, calming himself down before continuing; “if you still love me you’d leave.”

you shook your head, angrily shoving a finger at his chest. “you got me into this mess in the first place! you’re the reason I’ve ended up like this! and you want me to leave?” you scoffed at his words, yelling out yours in rage as tears of frustration kept falling from your eyes.

he sighed, brows furrowed and a sad expression stuck on his face as he looked at the ground. “I’m sorry, y/n. I can't do this anymore.” he turned to grab the doorknob, and your eyes widened with the movement.

“you can't do this to me nick!,” you clawed at his arm, dragging him backwards, away from the door. but he was stronger than your weak body and easily pushed you away from him to get access to the door. you hit his back with your fists, crying out in anger as you did so.

“you bastard! you can't just leave me here!” he stayed quiet as he rushed out of the door, not even looking back as he made it out of the door, escaping your grasp on him. you sobbed even louder, walking out of the door to follow his body with your eyes as you collapsed to the ground. “I hate you! I fucking hate you, you hear me?”

nick silently cried as his back hit the elevator wall, the doors closing in front of him as he made his way downwards to the entrance of the apartment complex. what had he just done? he placed a hand over his mouth, wide eyes staring into thin air in shock. nick’s only ever done what he was raised to think was right. it’s not his fault, right?

it’s not.

for a moment, you kissed.

did he not pull away because his feelings for you were still there somewhere in the depts of him? or because he was so shocked that he was unable to think straight enough to pull away? honestly, he couldn’t tell.

but alas, he pushed you off. and all he could do was look at you, baffled, confused and feeling more lost than ever. “y/n…” he trailed off, watching as you stared back at him with wide eyes and red lips from the kiss, almost looking as if you were just as shocked as him.

“I’m… I’m happy now. without the drugs, without the alcohol, without the cigarettes. I’m with someone else now, y/n,” he mumbled quietly, hands still pressed against your shoulders as he stared at your plump lips in a flustered state. he sighed. “we can't be together, y/n. not like this.” he didn’t specify “like what”, but his eyes staring up and down your form clearly showed what he meant. you knew that already, but it still hurt you. it still hurt you that he’d moved on and you hadn't - that he was away from all of the things you now lived off of. it hurt you that he was able to find happiness without you.

he lifted your head up by your chin, and you hadn't even noticed that you were looking at the ground, and got to eye-level with you. his eyes were soft (when weren't they?) and this time, he looked like he was pleading, begging for you to hear him instead of denying him. “I want you to be happy, too. that’s why I’m trying to help you. if only you’d let me?”

your eyes dropped to the ground again, brows furrowing in thought. should you? should you let him into your heart again? into your shitty life? what if he just ended up leaving you again like he’d done before? breaking your heart into a million pieces this time instead of just two? you looked up at him again, biting down on your bottom as you made your final choice.

__________________________________

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crystalas · 3 years ago

Text

Instincts

A one shot inspired by @purble-turble and @its-kall-the-clown Cos I love the two concepts and they need to be together. Secret relationship Pregnancy and the concept of nesting, this is also pure fluff.

Red Son was feeling a conflict of many emotions at the moment and he wasn’t sure how to deal with it; on one hand he was elated that he was soon to be a parent and so happy to be going through this with the one person he has ever met that seemed to get him. He would often find himself day dreaming of what he and his little one could be doing as they grow up, hearing them say their first word, watch them take their first steps, the whole idea was exciting!

But he also felt a foreboding dread in his stomach when he thought about it too, there was the fact that he was indeed having a child with an enemy of the family. Even if his family doesn’t immediately kill his mate and child if they found out they would no doubt have plans for their grandchild given its heritage. Which is why they were hiding out till MK could safely defend himself and their baby from any harm without Red Son just in case his family tries anything.

The one thing however that had Red Son terrified whenever he thought about it was the child itself. The more research he did into pregnancy, birth and possible midwifery [there was a bloody good chance he was going to be the one delivering their child so he wanted that stuff memorised!] the more he realised how easily this pregnancy could go horribly wrong.

There was the factor of biology, MK was human and Red Son was a demon two beings that had vastly different life spans. Demon pregnancies lasted twelve to eighteen months while humans only lasted nine, would the child be born premature or be okay at nine months? Would the child be only ready at twelve and need caesarean to be born? Red Son balked at that idea it was scary enough at the idea of a home birth but he couldn’t imagine him purposely stabbing MK to get their child. Not to mention the difference in magic, the creation side of Monkey King’s powers and the destructive nature of his fire magic did not seem like a good mix, especially in a baby!

Red Son would wake up sweating after having nightmares of coming back home to find MK’s charred remains on the bed and their child innocently playing with the burnt remains of their parent’s entrails.

Although Red Son was feeling all these emotions and more, he planned on keeping them to himself. MK was going through enough as it is; seeing as he had to stay hidden from his family. MK wanted nothing more than to announce the news of their little bundle of joy but Red Son informed them that his parents had Bull Clones on constant surveillance of their hang out, there was no safe way for them to know without Demon Bull King finding them. He didn’t need Red Son telling him that he might have a flaming chest burster growing in his belly! So Red Son was going to be the best supporting partner and if that meant going on an ice cream run then so be it.

He came into the apartment and headed to the kitchen to put the ice cream away he froze when he saw the living room…

It looked like someone had tore up the sofas and then had been knocked over in a struggle. He couldn’t see MK anywhere so slammed the ice cream down on the table and searched the house. The airing cupboard had been opened and emptied out it looked like something had ransacked his house…Red Son’s heart started to pound and his throat was dry as he couldn’t bring himself to call out and was about to go into full panic mode when he heard something.

“Dang it!” MK groaned.

Red Son honed in and found himself bolting to the bedroom where he heard the voice and nearly tore the door off its hinges to find MK kneeling on the floor with what seemed every cushion, pillow, blanket and pile it up on the mattress that had also been pulled onto the bedroom floor. MK turned around to see Red Son staring at him.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for the mess…” he muttered, “I don’t know why but I really want to make a blanket fort but I can’t get it right which doesn’t make sense…and ugh this is so frustrating!”

Red Son stared at MK for a full minute before he burst out laughing both in relief and at the sheer absurdness at the situation.

“You’re nesting!” he chuckled once he got a hold of himself “I can’t believe it, you’re nesting!”

“What?!” MK cried “I’ve read that pregnancy scroll you showed me! That’s a demon thing, I’m not a demon!”

Red Son leant down and hugged MK from behind.

“Hate to break it to you Noodle Boy but you’ve got a lot of demon in you right now!” he laughed as he reached forward and put a hand on MK’s six-month belly. MK pulled a face as they recalled having an ungodly craving for wheat grass and charcoal during the early months, that had been embarrassing to be caught eating.

“So, want help me have another crack at this?” MK demanded as Red Son helped him up, the fire demon laughed again.

“Sure, but let’s try and minimise the use of material I would like to sleep in a bed tonight…”

After an hour of trail and error they finally created a nest that MK felt comfortable in, it was a sort of tent made from bedsheets, with the winter quilt as the floor with every spare cushion and pillow used to add for support. The edges of the nests were raised slightly by the cushions and pillows underneath as it was now sat on the floor in a corner of the bedroom.

“This is such a weird thing to feel compelled to do” MK muttered as they laid in their creation.

“Not really when you consider that most demons lived in caves or run-down buildings, I imagine wanted a safe soft place to have your young is a very practical instinct…” Red Son explained as he rolled over to face his partner. MK was looking thoughtful and rubbing his stomach gently.

“Does this mean I’m probably gonna give birth in this?”

“If you want, but if that is the case, I’m going to laid down some plastic sheets. No offence but I don’t want this stuff to get stained…”

MK took a spare pillow and smacked Red Son in the face with it.

#spicenoodleshipping #secret relationship pregnancy #monkie kid red son #red son #monkie kid mk

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ibijau · 3 years ago

Text

Futures Past pt15 / on AO3

Nie Huaisang returns to the Unclean Realm after his failed year in Gusu

The Unclean Realm, usually a noisy place, had fallen nearly entirely silent as most of the disciples and quite a few servants gathered around its gate. They were all careful to keep a respectable distance from the gate in question, in case things went wrong, but still did their best to be close enough to get a good view. Not that it was particularly necessary to be near enough to hear what was happening. Nie Mingjue had a voice that carried, and it only got worse when he was angry at his brother.

Which he currently was, of course, and for good reason everyone thought. After all, Nie Huaisang had just returned from his time studying in the Cloud Recesses, though he’d apparently done little learning there.

But it wasn’t his failure to pass his exams that had his brother so upset. It was more the fact that on the way back home, Nie Huaisang had decided to leave on his own and disappeared for well over three weeks. The other Nie disciples travelling with him had just found a note on his bed one morning announcing that he didn’t feel like going home yet. They had panicked and sent an urgent message to their sect leader, who had also panicked and launched a search for his brother, in vain.

“You could have been kidnapped!” Nie Mingjue shouted at his brother, who had arrived that morning, looking as careless as if he’d just been gone for a shichen on an errand. “You could have been attacked by bandits! Did you even have your sabre with you?”

“Of course I did!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, patting the weapon at his waist. “What was I going to do, walk around?”

“It would have been safer than flying in your case! What if you’d fallen?”

Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes. His cultivation had actually improved quite a bit while he was in the Cloud Recesses, if only because the Lans didn’t let him avoid training as much as his brother did. He was even quite close to forming a golden core, something he’d more or less given up on, and for which he hoped he’d get praised, whenever his brother calmed down enough to hear the news. So while he wasn’t the strongest of flyers, he was doing much better than he used to.

Not that Nie Mingjue was in any mood to hear that.

“I was careful, I swear,” Nie Huaisang sighed. “You’re always saying I should be more independent anyway!”

“Independent, not reckless! And who’s that?” Nie Mingjue roared, pointing at the person next to his brother.

That had been the question on everyone's mind since Nie Huaisang had arrived a little earlier, a boy much younger than himself walking at his side, but so far Nie Huaisang had avoided answering.

“Oh, that’s Xue Yang,” Nie Huaisang cheerfully announced, patting the young boy’s shoulder. “I picked him up along the way. You should test him, I really think he’s going to be a great cultivator someday! Xue Yang, that’s my brother, say hi to him?”

Xue Yang threw Nie Mingjue a very unimpressed look, and gave a half-hearted bow.

“It's an honour to meet Nie zongzhu,” he said with some uncertainty, probably wishing he hadn't been so close while Nie Mingjue shouted at his brother like that.

“Huaisang, where did you find that child?” Nie Mingjue asked.

“It’s a long story,” his brother said.

Nie Mingjue nodded, and waited for the story in question to be told. Nie Huaisang just smiled at him.

“Are you going to tell me how you found him?” Nie Mingjue insisted when nothing more came.

“No. It’s a long story, but it’s not very interesting. He’s here now, though, so that can’t be helped.”

Hearing this, Nie Mingjue turned his attention to Xue Yang, as if hoping he might get an explanation there. The young boy just gave him a wicked smile.

“He said I’d get candies if I came,” Xue Yang said. “Am I gonna get them now or what?”

Nie Mingju’s eyes snapped back to his brother.

“Huaisang, did you steal a child by offering him treats? You realise how bad that looks?”

“It’s not stealing when it’s a person,” Nie Huaisang protested, nervously twisting his fingers for a moment before hiding his hands behind his back. “And I think children count as people, not things. Right?”

“Fine. Did you kidnap a child?”

A little embarrassed, Nie Huaisang hunched his shoulder and looked down at his feet without answering. A mistake, it turned out, because Xue Yang took that as his cue to explain things.

“It’s okay, I don’t have a family anyway,” Xue Yang announced. “He asked before taking me with him, to make sure I’m an orphan. And your brother’s nice. He took me to all those nice inns along the way, and every time he made sure I had food and a bath. He said the baths were very important.”

Nie Mingjue glared at his brother who winced because that could indeed be misunderstood. Which was exactly why Xue Yang had said it like that, he suspected. But really, Xue Yang had been in a pretty bad state when Nie Huaisang had picked him up. His hair was nearly stiff with dirty, he’d recently bled all over his clothes, and he had lice, and...

“Fine, I guess I’ll have to tell the story,” Nie Huaisang grumbled. He had already come up with a sanitised version of events that he could actually share with his brother, but it still annoyed him to not be trusted more. “So, I wanted to visit Kuizhou, you see? Everyone says the landscapes around it are so gorgeous, and so melancholic, and they are by the way. I want to go back to paint and write and…”

“Focus, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue ordered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, right. So, I went there,” Nie Huaisang said, playing with the hem of his sleeve. “And I was visiting and stuff, and then I see a grown man punching and kicking a kid! Just because the kid had grabbed a few things from him!”

“Yeah, it was just his purse, and there wasn’t even that much money in it,” Xue Yang helpfully provided. “Well, and a few buns from his stall, and those apples from the stall next to his, and…”

“Shut it,” Nie Huaisang hissed, before returning his attention to his brother, a bright smile on his face. “So, you always say we have to defend the weak, and nobody’s weaker than a kid, so I went to check what was going on, right? And the man told me that kid is a terrible thief that’s plaguing their town, and he’s going to beat him up until all his bones are broken and he can never bother anyone else. But it’s just a kid!”

“Yeah, I’m just a kid!”

“Shut it! Anyway, I rescued the kid, because he really was in a bad state. And then I figured, well, how can someone that’s just a kid be such a good thief, right? So I checked and he’s got good dispositions for cultivation!”

It had been a lucky realisation, because he hadn’t known for sure that Xue Yang even was meant to become a cultivator, nor a talented one for that matter. In fact, the whole thing had been unbelievably lucky. Sure Nie Huaisang had spent three whole days searching everywhere for Xue Yang, but he’d been about ready to give up when he’d finally found him in roughly the exact way he'd described.

“The local sect are a bunch of pricks who didn’t want to take him in when I asked,” Nie Huaisang explained, as if he could ever have left Xue Yang into the care of strangers who might have failed to stop him from becoming evil. “So I brought him home. He’s going to be a great disciple!”

Having listened to that story with mounting annoyance, Nie Mingjue glared at his brother.

“Huaisang, that’s…”

“You always say people deserve a chance no matter their background!”

“Oh so you do listen when I talk sometimes?”

“He’s an orphan, and he’s talented, and someone has to do something, and we can’t send him back or else he might continue stealing maybe!”

“I’ll definitely continue stealing if you send me back,” Xue Yang promised with a smirk.

Nie Huaisang glared at him. Evil or not, Xue Yang knew how to be annoying.

He also knew how to be charming, though. He’d been absolutely delightful with a bunch of people they’d met on the way to Qinghe whenever he’d thought he could get something out of it. And it had worked, too. Xue Yang had obtained a lot of sweets from a lot of people, as well as some money here and there. And that was without mentioning the stuff he’d just outright stolen, sometimes from the very people generously sharing something with him. He was a little pest, all right.

But he was smart too, smart enough to understand what an incredible opportunity he’d been given. It would have been easy for Xue Yang to run away into the night, taking with him all of Nie Huaisang’s money. He was a skilled enough thief to manage it, especially once he’d realised that Nie Huaisang wasn’t a skilled enough cultivator to pursue him. But he hadn’t, because he’d been promised a chance of becoming a cultivator if Nie Huaisang could just convince his brother.

Of course, that was a pretty big 'if'.

A year earlier, Nie Huaisang would have been certain that he could convince his brother of anything. He’d never had any reason to doubt that, not until his future self had come into his life uninvited and whispered poison to him about Nie Mingjue having a bad opinion of him. And maybe he was right, that old prick. Nie Huaisang had messed up so badly in the Cloud Recesses, failing his classes in a way most people never did. He’d shamed his sect, his clan, his brother, and now he had the galls of asking for a huge favour, as if he had any right to…

“How old are you?” Nie Mingjue asked Xue Yang, who shrugged.

“Dunno. I think I’m older than nine, maybe, ‘cause I remember that bad drought we had one year. But old Cheng says I’m probably less than twelve, ‘cause I don’t have all my teeth yet.”

To prove his point, Xue Yang clenched his jaw and bared his teeth. He was indeed missing one canine on the left, while the right one was just starting to regrow. It made for a very odd smile, and yet Xue Yang knew how to use that to look cute sometimes.

Cuteness wouldn’t work on Nie Mingjue though. Years of dealing with Nie Huaisang had made him nearly immune to it.

"What did my idiot brother tell you to convince you to come all the way here from Kuizhou?"

"He said I'd learn to be a cultivator, and people wouldn't beat me up ever again for stealing," Xue Yang recited. "And he said I'd have to learn to be good and stuff, because it's a second chance for an honest life, and I figured, well, it's better than the streets."

Nie Mingjue nodded, though he still looked severe enough that Nie Huaisang wasn’t sure yet of his victory.

"We have a certain way of doing things in my sect, and dishonesty isn't allowed. And I'll need to check if you can be taught at all. Come closer and give me your hand."

Xue Yang, impossibly cocky a moment before, suddenly hesitated and glanced at both Nie brothers before hiding his hands behind his back.

"Which hand ?"

"Either one, it makes no difference."

"It might a bit," Xue Yang grumbled before reluctantly raising both hands.

Nie Mingjue frowned when he noticed that one finger was missing, but Nie Huaisang took it to be an encouraging frown and finally relaxed. It expressed concern rather than anger, and that had to be a step in the right direction.

"That looks old," Nie Mingjue noted, grabbing Xue Yang's left hand to inspect it. "Hm. That's not neat enough to have been cut off. What happened to you?"

"Someone's cart ran over my hand on purpose," Xue Yang muttered, trying in vain to pull his hand free. "I was little. It's fine now, I swear!"

It was far from fine, actually. Xue Yang himself might not have realised it since he was used to it, but Nie Huaisang had noticed that the young boy favoured his right hand a lot more than was normal, even for a right-handed person. In another sect, that might have been a problem. But Qinghe Nie was more martial than most others, a little more reckless too, and they had their share of cultivators who'd had nasty accidents.

A missing finger in a stiff hand wasn't so bad compared to some people.

"We'll have to get you a light sabre," Nie Mingjue said, mostly to himself after a quick check of the boy’s meridians. "Something you can use one-handed, like Huaisang. And I'll ask our doctor to have a look at it. It looks painful."

"No, it's fine, I don't feel pain anymore," Xue Yang proudly announced as he pulled his hand free. "Trained myself out of it, mostly."

"You are definitely going to see Zhilan," Nie Mingjue replied, frowning harder. "Huaisang’s right, you do have potential, so we'll train you.” He turned toward their audience of disciples, and gestured for one man to walk closer. “Zonghui! Come and give that kid a tour, and a meal. When he's eaten, take him to see Zhilan, and have a bed prepared for him."

“I’m in?” Xue Yang asked, so startled that for once, he really did look his age.

He glanced at Nie Huaisang who grinned at him and nodded, then turned his eyes back to Nie Mingjue who nodded as well.

“You’re in. Go with Nie Zonghui, he’ll explain everything you need to know about being part of this sect.”

With surprising obedience that had to be a side effect of surprise, Xue Yang trotted away with Nie Mingjue’s first disciple. Nie Huaisang tried to follow, equal parts curious and worried about what might happen next if he lost sight of Xue Yang. He hadn’t taken two steps before Nie Mingjue grabbed him by the collar to stop him.

“And where are you going?”

Nie Huaisang pointed toward Xue Yang. His brother gave him a pointed look, and started dragging him in another direction, leaving him no choice but to follow or be strangled.

“I’m tired,” Nie Huaisang complained. Then, noticing that they appeared to be going toward the training grounds, he struggled against his brother’s grasp. “Wait, da-ge, I’m really tired, I mean it! We’ve had to walk so long, you know! We’ve only been able to hitch a ride on carts for some of the way, so I can’t feel my legs anymore for how much walking I’ve done lately.”

“If you’d come home directly from the Cloud Recesses, you’d have ridden in a carriage,” Nie Mingjue retorted without an ounce of pity. “Now let’s see if you’ve made any progress with your sabre, aside from using it to run away. We’re going to spar together.”

“I can’t, I’m so tired!” Nie Huaisang whined. “I’m going to die if I have to move! And you’re so much stronger than me, there’s no point in training together, the difference is too great! Da-ge, have some mercy, let me eat something first! Let me rest! And I need to change clothes too, and I really should check how my birds are, and…”

“Shut up you brat! This is your punishment for getting me so worried!” Nie Mingjue snapped, pushing his brother onto the softer soil of the training ground. “Do your warm-ups!”

“But I’m starving, da-ge!”

“That’s your own fault for running away!” Nie Mingjue replied, showing yet again he was the most cruel person in the entire world.

And yet as soon as Nie Huaisang started stretching in preparation for a friendly fight, Nie Mingjue asked a disciple to go ask the kitchens if they might send some fresh buns and a little tea that way. Aggravated as he was that his brother only cared about checking his cultivation and martial art progress, Nie Huaisang couldn’t help but smile.

After everything his older self had said about Nie Mingjue really despising him, he’d been worried that his brother would indeed be furious at him for everything he’d done, from failing his classes to forcing him to take in a miscreant. But no matter how shouty and frowny he currently was, it was clear to anyone who knew him, as his brother did, that Nie Mingjue was worried-angry rather than angry-angry.

Nie Huaisang had gambled and won, thus proving to himself that he definitely knew his brother better than his older self did.

#xisang #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #xue yang #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes #double time travel #this was almost a much longer chapter but I figured the next visit of future nhs could be posted on its own next week

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cloud-9ine · 4 years ago

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BNHA characters with a flirty s/o (pt 2)

⤷ characters - kaminari denki, midoriya izuku, kirishima ejirou

⤷ genre - fluff

⤷ type - headcannons

⤷ fandom - bnha

⤷ warnings - none

⤷ pt 1

Kaminari Denki

★ it comes at no surprise that he’s gonna love it

★ being flirty himself, he likes that he’s with someone who can match his energy and return it

★ first couple times you do it, though, he’s gonna start blushing

★ it’s mostly out of surprise

★ once he realises your deal it’s going to be a lot harder to catch him off guard

★ like bakugo, he may see it as sort of a competition, but unlike bakugo, he’s not completely hopeless

★ most of his pick up lines are pretty cheesy, but the way he says them with such reverence is worth it anyway

★ if you want to get him flustered you’ll need to couple your words with an action or say something sincere

★ he’s a playful flirter, so if you say something genuine it’s more likely to provoke a reaction from him

★ so cup his cheek and tell him how much you love him

★ not really a traditional flirt but this boy will melt

★ he can get pretty insecure about if he’s good enough for you or not, so hearing you say stuff like that is a great way to assure him

★ kaminari falls hard and he wants nothing more than for you to feel the same way

★ on the other side of the spectrum, the other way to make him bashful is if you say something very suggestive

★ nine times out of ten he’ll short-circuit himself from your words

★ this is also a one way ticket for the rest of the bakusquad to make fun of him

★ they make a game out of it

★ mina, sero and jirou give you things to say to him to see how far it can go before he short-citcuits

★ even bakugo finds it funny

★ it just goes to show how much he loves you

Midoriya Izuku

★ of course this boy is going to get so incredibly embarrassed

★ it took him weeks to just hold a conversation with you without stuttering

★ and now you’re flirting with him?

★ you’re gonna kill him

★ when you call his name he’s gonna greet you with a bright smile- the one he has every time he sees you

★ but once you start speaking and flirting, you can watch the clear-cut progress as his face gets redder, and redder, and redder

★ this reaction will never go away, either

★ the two of you could be married with three kids but the moment you use a pick up line he’s going to be a mess

★ i can see him trying to flirt back, as well

★ he’ll remember everything you say and write it down in one of his notebooks

★ he relentlessly goes online googling ‘how to flirt’

★ it takes months of preparation and when the moment comes, his words die in his throat the moment you smirk at him

★ out of perseverance he’ll still try, but he’ll mash like three pick up lines together

★ ‘d-did you, uh, fall from h-heaven? cause, uh, c-cause you’ve got a nice ass’

★ don’t laugh at him too hard, please

★ he’s trying his best

★ just hit him with your own one liner after this and he’ll crumble

★ from then on he’ll leave the flirting to you

★ he prefers complimenting you, anyway

Kirishima Ejirou

★ oh, he’ll love it

★ he won’t get extremely flustered, but he’ll definitely get pink cheeks

★ ‘aw, thanks, babe, you’re too kind’

★ he’ll probably call you manly for it lol

★ he’s not much of a natural flirter himself, but he’ll definitely try if he thinks that’s something you’d like

★ another one who prefers complimenting you, however

★ and he’s very good at complimenting you

★ he just adores you so much

★ doesn’t have many qualms with you flirting with him in public

★ he’ll probably just laugh it off and pull you into a hug

★ but he’s much more likely to get flustered if you flirt with him in front of his friends

★ especially if it’s mina or bakugo

★ it’s not like he minds the teasing he gets (mostly from sero or kaminari), he’ll brush that off pretty quickly

★ but if it’s mina or bakugo commenting about it he’s gonna go red

★ he’ll still be relatively calm but he feels like he has something to prove to the two of them, and it’s not like he’s embarrassed of you, but he’s caught up in wondering if the two of them see you the same way he does

★ but also he definitely panders to your flirting

★ pulling you in for a kiss every time you say something like that and giving you a quick compliment

★ if you say something more suggestive he’s gonna go a little bit more red than usual

★ he’ll probably just ask if you want to go somewhere else to make out

★ overall, he just cherishes you, and he’s gonna entertain anything he thinks will make you happy

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lolabangtan · 5 years ago

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My cat neighbour | pjm

Fair enough. Weirder things had already happened to you, like that time you swore to have seen a shadow vanish in the corner of your room. Odd? Indeed. Impossible? Not quite. Buzzfeed? Unsolved. However, the fact that the cat you had seen settling down near your flat was actually a human—a hybrid, as he had stated—was certainly a bit too much.

index • next

Word count: 6k

Warnings: well if you’re not into hybrid smut (although i can grant you that all genitals and erotic zones addressed in this story are 100% human) then you probably shouldn’t read this. Anyways, this is a mess, i don’t even know what is this supposed to mean. Ended up being kinkier than i expected. Don’t look too deeply into it. Please. My therapist will be really disappointed if she ever finds out.

Also: some doctor who-shaming. Sorry, i hate cheesy sci-fi.

# cat hybrid!jimin, dom!reader, animal rut as a poor excuse to indulge in my kinks, dry humping, overstimulation, masturbation, nipple play, lactation kink, praise kink, Jimin really hasn’t grasped the concept of ‘non-pregnant women’s breasts don’t produce milk’, impregnation kink, vaginal sex, ‘mommy’ and ‘kitten’ as part of my big fat kink, of course.

After all those years, you were decided to put your life together and stop being a nuisance for society. No more partying until the next afternoon, no more sleeping around and not stepping on your apartment for days. You’d become the best, most responsible version of yourself from now on.

Why, people might ask you? Well, the reason was a pretty ball of blonde fluffy fur you had bumped into a few days ago.

You two had first met the day you caught him sneaking through the window into your kitchen, having probably smelled your delicious food from the street. As everyone in the neighbourhood knew, the colony cats used to gather at the end of the backstreet to share the food they found, so you assumed that was the reason why the cute kitten had shown up in your kitchen.

You fed him some turkey and fresh water, and he ate and drank plenty. The little cat didn’t look too dirty, nor too famished. It’d probably been abandoned by its owner not so long ago, and the thought made your heart ache.

“Do you mind if I pet you, kitten?” The cat meowed, looking at you with its big, black eyes, and rubbed its head against your hand. “Oh! You’re a smart little guy, aren’t you?”

However, the cat ran away shortly after, and you rushed to dress up for work, the hangover from last day still lingering.

The next time you saw it, it was raining cats and dogs, no pun intended, so you invited it in, towelled it dry, and fed it the leftovers of your dinner. It was dark and cold outside, so you also pitied it and allowed him to sleep with you on your bed. Its purring sang you to sleep.

By the time you woke up, the kitten had already disappeared from your embrace, so you got out of the bed to look for it, worrying about whether it had been caught by one of your neighbours’ evil kids to torture it. Kids nowadays were merciless, or at least so were the ones you had met around the block. Besides, your maternal instinct was less than alive.

“Kitten?” you called, leaning out of the bedroom door.

You heard a mellow meowing from the kitchen and saw it sticking out his tongue as it drank the running tap water, too engrossed in it to bother to look at you.

“Kitten! How did you turn it on?”

The cat only jumped off the counter and headed back to your room, so you let it go and followed it, giggling at its strange behaviour. Animals could be so weird sometimes. It had already claimed its spot on the bed, so you simply laid down next to its warm, purring body, and covered you both with the blankets, kissing it good night.

Minnie, as you had named it, kept coming back every once in a while, probably when the weather was too cold and there was no food on the streets. However, you began to wonder if Minnie really was a stray cat, for it looked quite healthy and well-fed, and always seemed to come from the same place—the flat next to yours.

It often came over for food and to shelter from the rain, but the kitten ended up demanding cuddles, since it started to stay the night almost every day, falling asleep curled up on your chest, although its purring and warmth weren’t really helpful when you already struggled to wake up in the morning.

You felt during the night something heavy resting on your chest, some pointy furry ears tickling the tip of your nose, making you giggle in your sleep. Someone was breathing against your exposed cleavage, but you were both sleep and sex-deprived, and your dried-out brain induced you into believing that it was just a dream. Enjoy it while you can, you horny bitch, it told you.

It was the first time you’d had the chance to sleep next to someone in weeks, even if it was just your mind playing you dirty, so you moved to face your inexistent lover, put your leg over his apparently naked thigs, and pulled him into your chest while your hand scratched gently the back of his neck down to his lower back.

Cuddling a boy in your lucid wet dream felt kind of fucked up, but who would find out? The stray cat sleeping next to you that had probably already snuck into your kitchen to steal away your low-fat turkey leftovers? Nonsense.

You kept caressing the soft hair, nuzzling his neck. It was quite vivid to be only a dream, as clear-headed as you felt. Drowsiness had slowly abandoned your body to leave room for the warmth coming from the stranger’s skin, and you couldn’t help rubbing your lower half against him when you felt something hard pressing on your belly.

“Mo-mommy.” A fucking whimper.

Hell, your mind really hated you. How dare it use the mommy kink against her master and commander? I’ll force it to binge watch Doctor Who for twenty hours straight. Let’s see if it survives to the worst show ever created.

Listening to your peaceful humming, he tensed under your palm’s brief touch, fingers caressing his belly hair, close to his already hard and wet dick, but not close enough. Your hand, your fingers, they were only a teasing presence, the shadow of what it would feel like. The other hand ghostly roamed around the shadow of his left nipple, reminding him how close he was—to you.

You felt a weight sink the mattress as he turned on his own body, pulling the dripping hardness away from your belly.

But you didn’t let him go. The hand caressing his nipple went up to the back of his neck, and you tangled your fingers in his hair. A weak ‘mommy’ came out of his lips again, and this time you felt his hand travelling down his torso to his dick.

“Mo-mommy, sorry, I-” You heard a continuous wet rubbing sound and a mellow voice. “I-I’m sorry.”

The bed was quaking under the increasingly frantic movement of his hand. You could feel against your chest how his breathing began to quicken as he tried to swallow down his little whimpers, but then your fingers came back to one of his nipples and you pinched it, tearing a delicious moan away from his lips.

The boy choked on his spit as he spoke. “I-I’m close. Sorry, ah, mommy, I’m so sorry-I… I-”

He did his best to keep his load shot away from your skin, trying to focus on the grip of his hand instead of the way his hips were thrusting into nothing in an attempt to handle the pleasure of his sneaky orgasm.

When you felt his breath calming down against your chest, you moved your hand to his half-spent dick, a smile creeping on your lips as you felt your fingertips getting dirty with his cum. Then you took its length, softly, gently, eyes still closed, far away from the darkness of your room, and pumped it. The boy whined, nuzzling the beginning of your breasts while his hips followed the pace of your hand.

“Mommy, ple-please,” he begged, almost sobbing, “I’m gonna-I’m gonna come again.” But with his whispered pleas he was not asking you to stop. “Mmh, ngh! Coming, mama! I’m coming!”

This time, some of his semen ended up streaming against your skin, although it took him a few seconds to realise it. Horrified, the boy stared at both your cum-stained hand and belly, and moved his shivering thighs to the other side of the bed to get out.

That was the end of your dream, and you were fairly weirded out when you woke up.

However, you were pissing yourself, so you ran into the bathroom and sat on the toilet to enjoy one of your favourite parts of your morning routine—staring at nothing while you started feeling how your ass goes numb against the cold porcelain of your toilet.

When you turned around to fetch the toilet paper, you were faced instead with a lonely cardboard tube, so you grabbed it, frowning, and threw it in the trash with a jerky move. “I wish I had a flatmate I could blame for these things.”

After you peed and flushed the toilet, you headed to the kitchen to get yourself your daily dose of caffeine and, perhaps, let Minnie have some of your skim milk. It had apparently been craving it for a few days now—the brat let you know yesterday, after it knocked down your mug as it tried to drink before you even had the chance to pour coffee in it.

“Minnie!” you called, “Pspspspspsps!”

Your heart ached at the thought of losing your kitten. Yes, it was not yours, and its name probably wasn’t even Minnie. But you couldn’t deny that taking care of it had made you feel something that you never thought you’d be able to—the desire of nurturing, of spoiling and babying your kitten.

The kitchen window was half opened, cold coming through it, waving the white curtains. Perhaps Minnie had gone out to come back to the colony.

It was nine in the morning. With that in mind, you grabbed a coat after putting on the first trainers you spotted and opened the door to the hall, hoping to bump into any of the old ladies that fancied doing the grocery shopping as soon as the convenience stores opened their doors. And you were lucky that morning—Mrs Oh, the middle-aged woman who lived across the hall, had just closed the door behind her.

“Madam! Excuse me, Mrs Oh, have you perhaps seen a yellow cat around the building? Not too big, with dark eyes. It looks healthy and well-fed.”

The woman pressed her lips together. “Oh, miss, I haven’t. I just got out. Did it get lost tonight?”

A clattering sound grabbed your attention, and you turned around to see one of your neighbours rushing to get his keys to open the door of his flat.

It was Park Jimin, the boy next door. Handsome, cute, highly shy. He barely interacted with the rest of the neighbours but was always willing to lend a hand if someone needed him to. Despite his casual clothing, you found yourself horrified by the ugly hat covering his head. It was too big, too wide, and too tall.

“Yeah,” you muttered, completely heartbroken.

“Was it your cat?”

You frowned. “Yes… Yes, it was short of my kitten.”

“I didn’t know you had any pets since you’re always going in and out of your flat…” As much as you were fond of Mrs Oh, she tended to be quite gossipy and nosy, so you cut her off with a brief and sad ‘thank you, anyway’ and turned around. “Perhaps Mr Park knows something! Do you, sir?”

You noticed Park Jimin had been eavesdropping your entire conversation with Mrs Oh, cheeks all flushed and shiny dark eyes. A fatal jerky jolt of his fingers made him drop the keys, startled when he saw the two of you staring at him, so he bent down to pick them up and used those seconds to think about what on earth he could add in a situation like that.

“Yes?” stuttered the boy, looking at you with his elusive eyes. His voice sounded awfully familiar.

“Miss Y/L/N’s kitten got lost. Have you seen it, sir?”

“Now that I think of it,” you suddenly said, “Minnie prowled your door quite often, Mr Park. It’s a yellow kitten, small, really cute, with dark eyes. You must have seen him.”

Jimin shook his head, looking down to the floor. He was chewing on his bottom lip. “Minnie?” The boy finally tilted up his chin to stare at you, but soon looked back at your hands. “I haven’t seen your… kitten, sorry. I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”

“Thank you so much,” you breathed. Even if Park Jimin hadn’t seen your baby Minnie, he was willing to lend a hand, as always. “Don’t hesitate to ring if you find out anything, Mr. Park. I live next door.”

“I know.”

You stayed in silence for a few seconds, but thanked him anyway for his help and headed back to your flat, sad and depressed that you couldn’t spend your lazy Saturday with your kitten. How you wish you could hold Minnie in your lap to pet and pamper it! You were even willing to stay at home for the rest of the weekend, too, instead of going and painting the town red.

Honestly, you had lied—you weren’t going to torture your own mind watching Doctor Who. You simply chose an uninteresting movie to fill the silence of your living room while working on your laptop.

Every once in a while, you turned your head to check if Minnie had come back: the window was still open, inviting, and you thought about leaving on the counter a bowl with your favourite skim milk to lure the kitten into your den, but you didn’t even know if it was around.

Almost an hour later, someone knocked on your door. The knocking was gentle and patient, so you moved to the entrance of your flat with much curiosity and looked through the peephole.

“Mr Park!” you said, opening the door, “God, did you find my Minnie?”

Jimin looked down for a second before gathering the courage. “I… I’d like to talk to you. May I come in?”

You hesitated. Yes, Park Jimin was your cute neighbour, the handsome boy that lived next door, but he was practically a stranger either way. What if he was a psychopath who was using your kitten to break into your flat, tie you up, and kill you—in the best scenario?

“Please,” he insisted with a weak voice.

“I don’t know, Mr Park. I barely know you.”

“It’s about… your cat. I need to tell you something, but I-I can’t do it out here. Anyone could see me—that’s not helping, is it? Please, Y/N, I wouldn’t even dream of hurting you.”

“Alright.” With a deep sigh, you grabbed his shoulders and pushed him into your flat, only to turn around yourself to press your back against the door, hand already gripping knob, ready to turn it at any time in case you needed to run away. “Go ahead, I’m all ears.”

Jimin stood in the middle of your living room in silence, not so sure about the best way to tell you. You wouldn’t believe him if he used only his word, he had to show you, somehow, but your gaze was too sharp, too intense for him to focus on anything that wasn’t your eyes. So, the boy simply closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and bit his bottom lip.

“It’s me,” he said, “I’m Minnie.”

“What?”

Your hand slipped from the doorknob, making you trip onto the floor, although you managed to keep yourself on both of your feet. By the time you looked up, Minnie the kitten was standing in front of you, staring at you over a pile of clothes—the clothes that Park Jimin had worn just a few minutes before.

You scoffed. “So, this was a bloody prank? Go to hell, Park Jimin, or whoever planned this, and take your cat with you.” It’d be stupid to deny that you sounded hurt. You were. Minnie, your kitten, your baby, was only part of a bigger trick. Where could the cameras be?

But Minnie meowed to get your attention, and you had to fight the urge to take it in your arms and kiss it.

“Mr Park?” you called. The flat was silent, except for the kitten, which meowed again. “No,” you laughed then, scoffing again through your nose, sceptical. “You must be joking. It can’t be…”

With more meowing—that sounded a little bit impatient now—Minnie grabbed the clothes piled under its paws with its fangs and dragged them behind the kitchen counter, protected from your wide-open eyes. You were still trying to process everything, but it was undeniable that there was conscience in Minnie. When he looked at you, he saw you.

A few moments later, Park Jimin peeked over the counter. His big, rounded eyes shone through the blue morning mist, but you were not standing there to admire his features, his luscious lips, his little frame hidden behind the countertop. On the contrary, you approached him with cautious steps and confirmed that the kitten was nowhere to be seen.

What struck you most was the ugly hat clenched in his hands. Now that it was not covering his head, it was easy to disguise the two furry, pointed yellow ears camouflaged in his blond hair.

“You are a cat?” you mumbled, completely astonished.

“A hybrid,” he corrected you, “I can take the form of either a cat or a human, but I’m a hybrid… And this-this can make interactions a little bit weird for us, so I understand if you… I thought you’d be horrified if you found out since, hm, what happened last night.”

“So it wasn’t a wet dream!”

Jimin started fidgeting as he talked, and you swore, he was too cute for your own good. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you since you moved in, but you always seemed so… busy. Thought you’d only have me around if I was a cat.” His cheeks were blushing with a bright red. “Guess I’m braver when I’m your Minnie.”

“That’s why you kept coming around? Because you wanted to be with me?” you asked, still not quite sure how you wanted to feel about it.

“Yeah. I know it sounds creepy but-”

“That’s actually really cute. Awkwardly cute,” you laughed, “Aw, Minnie, come hug mommy.”

There was nothing but innocent intentions in what you said, in the way you addressed yourself, but Jimin couldn’t help shuddering when you surrounded him with your arms, crawling him into your chest.

You noticed how he took a deep breath against your neck, completely embarrassed. “I’m so sorry that I-I touched myself. I’ve been getting my rut these days, but I was trying to control it! I swear I’m more than happy with your kisses and your cuddles, but then you were—shit, I know it wasn’t your fault, it was mine, but-”

You took him out of your embrace so that you could look at him better and have him pay attention to you instead of wrapping himself up in a chaos of apologies and stuttering.

“Jimin,” you cut him off, “I appreciate that you’re apologising, but you don’t have to worry.” The boy hopefully tilted his head up. “You don’t.”

Actually, it was you the one who felt like shit. While Jimin was nothing but the victim of his own natural instincts, your biological functions, unlike his, were less than dead loss when it came to reproduction per se. Technically, it was you the one who took advantage of his needs, no matter how asleep you were.

Pressing him again against your chest to calm him down, you sort of felt something, and you couldn’t help the smirk that crept on your lips.

“Are you hard?”

He looked down at his crotch and nodded as he looked up back at you, a cute pout on his lips.

“You can’t help it, can you, kitten?” Your hand rose to his pointy furry ears and caressed them with the utmost delicacy, not wishing to disturb him or hurt him in any way, but still wanting to make him feel calm around you. It was a familiar touch for Jimin already, your hands on his head. “It must be bothering you.”

“I-It’s okay, mommy, I’m fine. It’ll go away,” he mumbled.

“Why don’t you use my bathroom to take care of it?” Jimin stared at you with his eyes wide open and a wild blush taking over his cheeks. “Go ahead, don’t be shy. You said it’s a natural reaction so, proceed. Don’t mind me.” And, in order to add more solidity to your offer, you pointed at the bathroom door with both hands.

His way to the bathroom was awkward, at least for him.

While Jimin was sometimes prey to his natural instincts, that didn’t mean he didn’t have proper sexual desires. You were the living proof of that. He wanted to be yours, yours—he wanted you to hold him while he merged into you and whisper to him what a good kitten he was. He wanted to feel you close. He wanted you to touch him where it hurt and kiss him and pet him and nurture him and love him.

When Jimin went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, he knew perfectly well that it wasn’t right, just like last night, when he let himself go against your warm touch. He was taking advantage of your maternal instincts towards him and was betraying your trust with his silence.

And it felt so good, and so wrong, pulling down his trousers and pants, freeing his already wet and hard dick. You had told him that you’d be in your room, in case he needed anything. But all he needed was you.

Meanwhile, you had decided to work on your bed, much more comfortable than your couch, hoping to get away from the moaning and groaning you heard coming from the bathroom. What the bloody hell were you thinking about when you told him he could touch himself there? Now you’d have to deal with the wet fabric of your underwear and the empty feeling in your crotch.

Jimin let out a moan, louder than any other sound you had ever heard from him. “Shit, shit-!” This was so fucked up. You were so fucked up. Your brain wouldn’t survive if he kept moaning and whimpering and whining like that. “Mmh- Mommy, p-please!”

“Minnie?”

You wondered why he was calling you so suddenly. What if he had accidentally hurt himself? You couldn’t think of any other reason why he’d be calling for his mommy—you really shouldn’t think about that.

The door was ajar when you arrived at the entrance of the bathroom, and all the lights were on. It was impossible to avoid staring at him and his figure in front of the mirror, moving frantically at the rhythm of his hand. If Jimin had not yet finished, he was close. Like a kid who kept mumbling ‘just one more sweetie’, you couldn’t rip your eyes off him. ‘Just one more look’.

Jimin turned around, leaning his back against the counter, unashamedly showing himself to you, his invisible audience. A high-pitched whimper came out of his mouth as his thumb stroked the sensitive tip of his dick.

Instead of reacting appropriately and hiding behind the wall, your body froze up as your mind looked for an excuse for why you were standing there, watching him touch himself in your bathroom even though you had ‘allegedly’ granted him privacy.

Sorry, I thought you were calling me.

You opened your mouth to speak, but you realised that Jimin had not flinched from your presence, continuing with his ministrations. He hadn’t noticed you—he was too engrossed on the way his fingers felt around his cock to do so.

His pointy ears twitched in your direction. “Hmf, please, so good,” he groaned, throwing back his head to flex on his thick neck. It would look amazing with your hands or a collar around it.

But then he looked at you through his narrowed eyelids, and it clicked.

Jimin was putting on a show, bending his back and softening his grip on his dick so you could see his angry red tip. He was putting on a show for you to see. To test you. To challenge you, tease you, dare you to come and take him. And, Lord have mercy, you fell into his trap.

“Were you calling for me, kitten?” you asked from the doorframe.

He nodded eagerly. “It’s not enough, mommy. Can’t cum.”

You looked down at his cock, caged between his short fingers, as you approached him. It was a game, and perhaps he was asking you to play along, but you needed to be sure that he wanted you to ravish him.

As far as he was concerned, he wouldn’t make the first move. He wouldn’t ask for anything, not even your hand. Jimin wanted you to go to him, because it was worth it only if you wanted him. And to get it, the kitten knew he had to lure you in.

But you could play that game, too—Park Jimin wasn’t the only one who knew which buttons to push and which strings to pull to drive someone crazy. If he wanted to push you beyond your limits and make you go feral, he’d have to work for it and bear with the consequences.

“Not enough? What isn’t enough, Minnie? I won’t know unless you tell me,” you muttered, stroking the tip of one of his furry ears.

Jimin soon understood the way you were going to play, and it was hard for him to keep a smirk off his face as he continued to move his hand up and down his dick. “My hand, mommy. It’s not enough, doesn’t feel right.”

“How so?”

“Your puss-shit!” he finally moaned. You felt his warm, unbridled breath on your cheek as he pressed his chest against yours. “Your pussy, mommy, I need your pussy, I need to be inside of you and fill you up, spill it into your womb so good! Please, let me, mommy, I need-”

You cut him off. “You need it, don’t you? You can’t help it. You’re so naughty, Minnie, wanting to fill me up…”

“So naughty,” he parroted out of breath.

In your defence, you couldn’t say it’d be easy for you to deny him anything at this point, given how damn wet you were or the way you were throbbing down your belly. Hell, Minnie had ended up having the upper hand, the lusty kitten. His lewdness was unquestionable. He could ask you the world and you would give it to him.

“Poor little thing. Since you can’t help it,” you agreed.

Jimin could have your pussy, but you knew that, eventually, it wouldn’t be enough, and that he would ask for more, but he’d have to play on your terms.

“Let’s go to my room.” Taking his hand, you lead him to your bed. “Oh, kitten, there’s no need,” you said when he started taking off his trousers. “I know it’d be embarrassing for you. Keeping them down to your thighs will do. You don’t have to take off your jumper either.”

The disappointment that shone momentarily in his eyes tasted like honey.

He couldn’t argue with you, no matter how much he wanted to beg you so you’d let him strip for you. “O-okay…”

Just as he was not surprised to see that you had no intention of taking off more clothes than necessary either. Jimin crawled in silence across the mattress to you as you lay on your back after taking off your pyjama shorts and throwing them somewhere.

It was all fun and teasing and jerking off to turn you on until the boy finally processed the fact that he was kneeling between your legs, dick hard and freed, waiting for you to get rid of your knickers.

“What is it, Minnie?” you cooed. He had suddenly got even redder and his ears were turned back. His dilated pupils were looking straight at you. “We can stop this if you want, kitten, don’t worry. Just tell me and I-”

“I want this,” muttered Jimin.

Smiling fondly, you pet his ears. “Then what is it? Are you nervous?”

The way he nodded, nuzzling your neck in embarrassment, made you move your hands towards his cheeks and pinch them gently, smiling down at him.

You thought for a second what you’d do with your hands. If you followed the lines you’d mapped out for your game, you’d have to keep them still, but that felt sort of weird and, what the hell, you weren’t willing to stoop so low. You wanted to touch Jimin and you would, even if it meant playing his game.

“Ready, kitten?” you asked as you took off your wet underwear.

Encouraging him a bit, your hands then went to his back, nails sinking into his soft flesh to keep him grounded, and Jimin finally gathered the courage to thrust up into you.

You didn’t lie—it took you more effort than you first thought to shut up a groan when you felt the way his dick stretched you out. But you managed, somehow, and that allowed you to hear the little sob that came from his lips as you noticed his whole body going into overdrive and shivering over yours.

This was going to be more fun than you thought.

“Anytime, Minnie.”

Once Jimin bottomed out—which seemed to take a year and half a second all at once—he began to build up a pace that surely wasn’t enough for you, but that you hoped wouldn’t be enough for him, either. He was visibly holding back, teasing your labia with the tip of his dick as he watched your reaction. It was funnier than you expected, seeing him press his lips together every time you showed him nothing but a calm, soft, and encouraging smile.

But even Minnie’s dick had a limit, and you soon felt that he was getting closer to his orgasm. You needed to change your strategy.

“Do you mind if I pet your ears? They’re so soft.”

He’d come straight away if you did. Jimin needed to make you let your guard down first, make you go feral on him, kiss him with your teeth and caress him with your nails and mark him all over and spank his ass. You’d stroke his ears, call him a good kitten, and it’d be over before it could even start.

“May I?”

Jimin shut his eyes. “I-I’ll come if you do it.”

“Isn’t that the whole point, kitten?” you teased him, “Having you come inside my pussy so you can quench your needs.”

“But-” The boy went silent instantly when both of your hands moved to his ears, stroking the tips up and down with the pads of your thumbs. He cried into the curve of your neck, tensing his thighs as a last resort not to come in a flash. “Shit!”

“How long are you going to keep up this game of yours, you naughty kitty?” you asked, moving to grab the back of his neck so he’d look at you, but let go of him, tired.

He breathed against your chest, pressing his nose on the hem of your loose top. “This isn’t a game for me anymore. I’m your kitten, mommy. Claim me—claim me and I’ll be yours. I’ll be your Minnie so you can kiss me and bite me and mark me and-fuck!” Jimin couldn’t stop his hips from thrusting into yours, the friction too good and the climax too close. “Fuck me! Fuck me all you want, as hard as you want!”

“Now that’s my kitten,” you smirked.

You only needed a tilt of your head to make him turn both of you over so you could straddle his lap and line up his dick with your cunt. The smirk on your face was indelible, and for Jimin it was priceless.

“I don’t know if I’ll last, mommy.”

Jimin drank from your caress on his cheek as if he hadn’t been touched in years. “You’ll last as long as I tell you to, kitten. Be good for me, will you?”

“Yes,” he groaned.

It was crazy. He had been smelling you from the very first moment, how wet you were, and how impassive you seemed despite rubbing your thighs together every time you thought he wasn’t looking. Jimin knew he could fill that emptiness as soon as you told him to. But he had to get his shit together—thinking about his dick buried deep in your soaking cunt wouldn’t help him hold his load.

Soon enough, you grabbed the hem of your shirt to take it off, making your tits bounce free as you gestured Jimin to follow your example and strip, something he did almost instantly.

“I want mommy’s milk.”

You stared at him in awe, wondering what on earth ‘mommy’s milk’ was. Your skim milk he seemed to love? “Does that mean that you wanna suck my tits?”

“Yeah, I want mommy’s milk,” he repeated, nuzzling your chest as he stared at your perky nipples.

Some cock-warming would do him good to cool down, so you fixed your posture on his lap and grabbed his nape gently to guide his lips into one of your breasts, holding your breath. That one was new for you, but you couldn’t say you were even a bit less excited than Jimin.

He sucked the areola into his mouth, flicking his tongue around your nipple and ripping a moan off your proudly smiling lips. “You’re so good, kitten, drinking so well from mommy.” His dick twitched inside of you and you swore, you heard Jimin whimper against your soft skin. “What was that, Minnie? You don’t agree with mommy? Don’t you believe that you’re doing incredibly well? Because you are, baby. So good to me.”

The kitten had his kinks, just like everyone else.

After taking a deep breath through his nose, the boy wrapped his lips around your nipple again, and you thought for a moment if he really thought milk would leak from your bud at some point.

“I’m gonna-shit, mommy, I’m so close.” His voice was muffled by your skin. “Let me cum, please, let me fill you up, fuck!” You clenched around him when one of your fingers travelled down your belly to rub your clit. You’d only need a minute to reach your climax. “You’re so tight, I can’t hold it! ”

“You will hold it, kitten, or else I’ll use your cum to lube your useless spent cock and fuck myself with it until you’re begging me to stop,” you growled.

That shouldn’t have turned him on even more. It really shouldn’t have. But the moan that came from the depths of his chest gave him away, and Jimin had to use forces he didn’t know he had in order not to cross that limit, so close yet so far, that kept him from coming inside of you.

“I know you can do it, kitten, you’re so good for me already,” you cooed, trying to encourage him, as your voice was getting higher, “Just like that, baby boy, you’re doing so good.”

It hit you like a hammer. You reached that sweet point that unravelled the knot in your belly, making your thighs shiver and your hips push against his, shoving his cock deeper into your cunt.

How he didn’t come despite having you clenching around him so tight, you didn’t know, but Jimin did let you know that he had felt it deep in his bones when his hands grabbed your ass to speed up and shove himself into you, moaning loudly between gasps with his mouth agape.

But you scoffed out of breath, looking down at him, and pushed his chest into the mattress, raising your hips off him. “You’re gonna cum on my terms or you’re not gonna cum at all.”

“Mommy?” he gasped, “What-what are you doing?”

“What do you think I’m doing?” you growled in his ear, forcing his hands onto the metal raids of your bed headboard. Jimin got the idea instantly and grabbed them, using the grip to propel his hips and thrust up into you. “I’m mounting my pussycat, Minnie. Didn’t you say you were going to fill me up? That you were going to spill all your load into my womb?”

“Yes, yes, please! I’m gonna fill you up so good, mommy, so fucking good!”

God bless this boy’s stamina.

You pushed your hips down his dick with all the strength you could gather. The tip bumped your cervix a few times, not hard enough to hurt, but firmly enough for you to feel it. Then his cock twitched over and over again, his heavy balls hardened under your ass.

“I-I’m coming, mommy, fuck, harder, please! Hug me, hug me!” he sobbed, you couldn’t help obliging your kitten. Jimin sank his face between your breasts, barely sucking on your skin as he couldn’t close his mouth, and shivered in your embrace, thrusting up erratically into you. “Shit-so good, so tight! Fuck, fuck, hm, yes!”

With a final groan, he spilled his cum into you and shoved it up your cunt to ride out his orgasm before coming down on you, totally and utterly spent by the time you raised your hips off his dick.

But your thighs didn’t betray you, and they let you at least reach the edge of the mattress so Jimin could breathe, away from your suffocating breasts, as much drawn as he seemed to be to them. Then you felt something wet down your belly, and you looked down at your crotch to see cum dripping down your inner thighs.

“Mommy, it’s leaking!” he pouted, lazily sticking a finger in your cunt to keep his load inside of you. It seemed to truly concern him.

“Mommy’s sensitive down there, kitten,” you hissed in response, “You can try and fill her up again tomorrow if you want, but now we should take a nap. You can barely move, baby, and I can see you can’t keep your eyes open.”

Jimin nodded and threw himself onto your mattress. “Promise?”

“Yes, I promise.”

“You don’t have to work tomorrow, do you, mommy?” You shook your head, lying next to him and covering you both with your bedspread. “And the next day? You always wake up so early on Mondays, mommy.”

You frowned, wondering how on earth did he know that you worked the morning shift on Mondays, but Jimin’s warm arms tangling up around your waist so he could lean his head on your chest made you think that there were weirder things on this world than your cat neighbour knowing your schedule by heart.

He was your kitten now, though—it was better if he knew.

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lazyangeltreemoney · 5 years ago

Text

Emergency Contact

Oneshot, Rich Kid AU

Description: James Barnes has been Y/N’s best friends since they were kids, even though they seem to come from completely different worlds. So much so that Bucky lists Y/N as his emergency contact, but the spoiled rich kid has to learn the hard way that Y/N has a life too.

Pairings: Rich-Kid!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 5991

Warnings: swearing, Bucky being a brat, car crash, hospitals, character injury, police stations, ANGST

A/N: this one is angsty AF and involves two idiots being in love. also gotta love a little bit of feisty!reader, hope y’all enjoy.

“So Y/N the demo sounds amazing-”

RING RING RING

Y/N almost jumped out of her seat trying to silence her phone. Sat in the big office, the man sat opposite her with lots of big gold records in frames behind him gave her a judgemental stare.

“Sorry about that, as you were saying, Mr Graves,” Y/N spoke, trying to sound as professional as possible.

She was so close, this could be it, her big break. Finally, she sat in the office with Mr Jimmy Graves, one of the biggest music producers on the scene. All the fame and fortune, she could almost taste it. It would make all those nights singing in shitty bars worth it.

“As I was saying, the demo is amazing, your voice, out of this world, but I’m afraid that you’re not the look we’re going for at the moment.” Mr Graves finished on a low note.

“I’m sorry, what?” Y/N choked out, no, no this couldn’t be happening.

Just as Mr Graves tried to downplay crushing her dreams by offering her a role as a backing singer on some other artists track, her infernal phone rang again.

RING RING RING

No longer caring about anything the man had to say anymore, she answered it.

“Hello, who is this?” Y/N seethed out, she tried her best to not sound pissed off but she was not having a good day.

“Hello, is this Miss L/N, I’m calling from the 87th precinct, you’ve been listed as James Barnes emergency contact, I’m sorry ma’am but you’ll have to come down to the station,”

It probably wasn’t a good idea to be speeding on the way to a police precinct but when it came to Bucky Y/N didn’t care. Parking her car up by the sidewalk, she rushed out into the precinct. When she walked in one of the detectives practically swept her up and led her to where they were holding Bucky.

The detective looked tired and was holding a cup of coffee. As Y/N followed him down the halls towards the interrogation room he seemed to look more and more pissed off. Y/n could only assume he had been interrogating Bucky, god he could be an ass when he wanted to. She even felt sorry for the detective.

They eventually reached a room at the end of the hall. The detective opened it to show Bucky handcuffed to the desk. The room had dark walls and a blinding white light directly over Bucky. Behind him was a one-way mirror where Y/n could see some bloody marks on Bucky’s back. His face was bruised, along with his hands looking bloody.

“Jesus Buck.” Y/N sighed at the sight of him.

Bucky raised his head to look at her. He was so focused on her that he didn’t even look at the detective that uncuffed him.

“Looks like Daddy’s bailed you out, my superiors have told me to let you go… don’t let me see you again, Barnes.” The detective warned him in a low tone.

“And I was about to add you to the Christmas card list.” seethed sarcastically as he got up out of the chair.

Bucky knew the drill and knew where to collect his stuff. He walked past Y/N and down the corridor, completely blanking her. It’s fine, not as if I’m here to pick your ass up away. Y/N looked back at the detective who was giving her an apologetic stare.

“You his girlfriend or something?” The detective asked.

“Nope, do I dare ask what he was taken in for?” Y/N winced as if she was bracing for impact.

“Assault and destruction of property, it was a bar fight that got out of hand apparently.” The detective explained.

“Thank you, Detective.” Y/N sighed and went to follow after Bucky.

“Ma’am if I could offer some advice, rich boys like Barnes take everything for granted, don’t let him take you for granted as well.” The detective’s wisdom, however, didn’t sit right with her.

She wanted to argue back at him, tell him that he didn’t know Bucky but Bucky was calling her from down the end of the hall telling her to hurry up. The detective only flashed her a look of ‘I told you so’ before Y/n went racing out after Bucky.

When Y/N got outside Bucky was smoking a cigarette. He looked a little more cooled down from earlier but still relatively annoyed. The orange embers at the end of the cigarette seemed to illuminate him in an amber glow. Even bruised and bloodied he still looked beautiful. Y/n had known Bucky since they were children and she had always thought he was beautiful. Bucky glanced up at Y/N and took one long drag on the cigarette before stubbing it out.

“How the hell did my Dad even know I was here?” Bucky groaned as he walked with Y/n to her car.

“You’re Dad probably knows one of the officers, still it’s nice of him to bail you out for what, the tenth time this month?” Y/N argued with him, she really didn’t want to fight with Bucky right now but sometimes it was the only way to get anything through his thick skull.

“What does it matter to you?” Bucky argued back, stopping dead in his tracks.

Because I care about you, you idiot.

“You know listing me as your emergency contact doesn't mean I’m at your beck and call at any point.” Y/N tried to remind him that she had a life as well.

“Please, I’m not taking you away from much, your nights of singing in dirty bars and songwriting for cheesy commercials are oh so important to you all of a sudden?” Bucky questioned in his ever sarcastic tone.

“God, could you stop being such a spoiled rich kid for two seconds.” Y/N groaned

“I’m just saving you some time Doll, you really think you’re gonna make it big one day like this?” Bucky’s sarcastic questions were cutting through her like a knife. Every harsh word from him was another stab at her. How could he say such things? Had he always been this harsh and Y/N was just blind to it?

“Just because I have to work for what I want doesn’t make it impossible Barnes, I haven’t been gifted everything I want like you.” Y/N was trying to hold back the tears, god she really hated fighting with him.

“Y/N, that’s the only way you get anything in life, but I’ll tell you what, if you want to spend the rest of your life singing in the same bars uninterrupted then I’ll take you off my emergency contact, hell I’ll take you off my whole contact list,” Bucky yelled at her.

Maybe it was the fact that she had just had her dreams crushed once tonight already made Bucky’s words sting so much. The fact that she had been told she doesn’t have the right look, the fact that Bucky, who had once believed so heavily in her dreams, was now trying to tear them down. Spite is an excellent motivator, however.

“Fuck you Bucky,” Y/N wasn’t sure what came over her but she shoved Bucky into the lampost, she felt god damn feral and Bucky could only watch her in shock. “I’m going to make it so fucking big, my names going to be in lights, in every talk show hosts mouth, my songs are going to be on the radio and I’m going to sing in the biggest arenas on this planet and I’m going to earn every second of it, meanwhile you will just be some spoiled rich kid who is only known as George Barnes’ brat.” Y/N’s words dripped out of her like venom as she walked away from Bucky.

It was only when she had her back turned could she let the tears finally escape her. She didn’t care that she was meant to pick him up, he could walk home for all she cared. Right now she needed to be as far away from him as possible. As she drove herself home could think of Bucky and how things had become so messed up.

He was once such a sweet and kind boy, being her best friend and supporting her for as long as she could remember. She remembered the nights when Bucky wouldn’t miss a single one of her performances, always insisting every time she sang was better than the last. Now, he was almost unrecognisable. It was as if time had taken the kind boy and replaced him with a selfish and cruel man. Y/N decided that night that she didn’t need Bucky, that she was going to make it big without him and it was going to be glorious.

The crowd applauded as Y/N bowed slightly and bid the crowd goodnight. Stepping down from the stage another singer walked up on the stage and introduced themselves. A year had passed since Y/N left Bucky outside that police precinct and she was actually doing pretty well for herself.

Less than a month after the fight she had managed to get a job at a classy club in Manhattan full time. It was owned by a wealthy man named Loki who seemed to love Y/N’s voice more than anything else in the world. He paid her well and let her have her pick of the setlist, luck seemed to suddenly be in her favour. For nine months it was bliss… until James Fucking Barnes brought the club off Loki and became the new owner.

Y/N had no proof but she was convinced Bucky had brought the place purely to spite her. That he was desperate to make her feel as if she couldn’t do anything without him. It’s not even as if Y/N could have left, where else was she going to get a job she loved that paid her this well? So for the past three months, she had been avoiding Bucky like the plague. Only talking to him when absolutely necessary, not caring that he was now her boss.

Every night that Bucky knew Y/N was performing he was there at the club. Every night he would listen to her angelic voice, watch her take the crowds breath away as she sang and every night he would realise how wrong he was. Y/N would walk on stage in a beautiful dress that would always leave him tongue-tied and make his heart stop. You would think six months away from her would have given him time to figure out what to say to her… but it didn’t. How do you apologise for being an ass to your best friend for years?

He didn’t mean to become such a monster, but power had grown on him like a tumour. He felt untouchable, nothing he did matter anymore. Any problem he had he could simply throw money on and it would disappear. Anyone he wanted usually wanted him just as much. Soon he became as cold as his money. Even his childhood best friend couldn’t make him come back to reality.

Y/N leaving also made Bucky have another heartbreaking realisation… he loved her. When Y/N walked away from him that night at first he tried to not care. He still went out, got into fights, danced with whoever he liked and drank as much as he wanted. But none of it filled the hole in his heart. It was in a noisy night club with a girl trying to climb on his lap that he realised that he would much rather be in Y/N’s small apartment and having Y/N cuddle up against him. He missed the nights where they would talk about everything and nothing all at once. The nights where they would drink and Y/n would get the courage to show him the new songs she’d been working on.

When he found out that Y/N was singing at the Heimdal, a club that his Dad was looking to buy, he leapt at the chance. He hoped that by becoming her boss she would have to talk to him, they would have a heartwarming reunion and somehow fall in love. However, Y/N had been cold and curt to Bucky the second he walked back into her life.

Y/N waltzed over to the bar, feeling absolutely parched after her last set. Sam, the bartender, handed her a glass of water and then handed her another drink. This one looked like some kind of fruity cocktail, definitely not what she’d ordered. Y/n shot him a confused look.

“It’s from him again,” Sam sighed giving her an apologetic look, “It’s here if you want it.”

“I won’t.” Y/N grimaced.

Bucky’s new tactic to get her to talk to him wasn’t even talking to her, but to have Sam always give her some fancy drink after her set. Guess he’s still just throwing money at his problems. Annoyed, Y/N sat down on one of the bar stools and took another sip of water. She knew she shouldn’t have but briefly looking over her shoulder she saw Bucky sat in one of the clubs’ booths. He did look a little better than when she last saw him. He'd cut his hair shorter and shaved his beard, that combined with his navy suit made Y/N’s heart skip a beat.

However, the sight of a girl sat next to him, clearly trying to get in his lap made Y/N cringe. One second he was buying Y/N drinks and the next he was getting off with other girls. A small amount of jealousy boiled in her stomach… but she couldn’t say why. Y/N had watched him go on plenty of dates during college, she never felt jealous then but now she can’t stand the sight of Bucky and this bimbo.

Y/N was pulled from her thoughts by a stranger sitting next to her. He called over to Sam asking for a scotch and gestured to Y/N.

“-And another round for the Lady when she finishes her drink.” The man spoke.

“What’s the occasion?” Y/n asked cautiously at him with a raised brow.

“Nothing much just heard the most angelic voice in America, is all.” The man said nonchalantly with a smirk on her face.

A slight blush appeared on Y/N’s face and she moved a strand of hair behind her ear. No one had complimented her on her voice like that before, not even Bucky. Trying to not seem too fluster, Y/N sat up a little straighter.

“So what brings you here tonight, Mr…?” Y/N asked, giving a genuine smile.

“Tony Stark, a friend of mine kept saying that they had an actual angel perform here, turns out he wasn’t wrong.” He took another sip of his drink and winked at Y/N.

“Wait, Stark as in Stark Records…” Y/N whispered the last part as the realisation hit her.

Tony Stark, the owner of Stark Records had just brought her a drink and said that she liked her voice, called it angelic in fact.

“Yes, don’t tell me you’re going to faint.” Tony teased

“No promises.” Y/n let out a faint laugh, still in shock.

Tony and Y/N had been chatting briefly, he asked her about what music is liked, the conversation moved onto Y/N’s original music and Tony was practically begging to hear some demos. Y/N matched his excitement, this was the happiest she had felt in so long. Tony listened to one of her songs through her headphones and he knew that she was going to be his next star.

“So, what do you say that you stop singing for Barnes and start singing for me, I’ve been looking for a new star and honestly Y/N, you’d be perfect.” Tony offered.

“Are you serious, you sure I don’t have the wrong look or something?” Y/N asked meekly, her insecurities getting the better of her.

“Sweetheart, anyone who doesn’t like looking at you has something wrong with them.” Tony smiled back at her.

Many of his current stars were once like Y/N. Immensely talented but scared they weren’t the right look. Tony, however, knew from experience that someone as talented as Y/N didn’t need to follow some look.

Y/N was about to accept Tony’s offer when she heard a giggle behind her.

“James, at least wait till we’re back at yours.” The girl seemed to squeal.

Even now, James Fucking Barnes seemed to be taking her spotlight. It was childish, the jealousy and silent treatment but Bucky seemed to bring out the worst in her. Y/N let out a frustrated huff and then she saw the fruity cocktail Sam had given her.

“Actually Sam, I'll take that drink,” Y/N smirked, grabbing the tall glass. “If you’ll excuse me for one second.”

Bucky had decided to have another drink, telling himself that after this one he would finally work up the courage to talk to Y/N. That was the plan, it was the plan he had made over three hours ago, now he had some random girl by his side who was causing a scene. Bucky knew these types of girls all too well, the ones who wanted the tabloids to be going nuts with seeing a girl hanging off his arms. Bucky was trying to make it clear that he wasn’t interested but this one was persistent and the drink was beginning to catch up with him.

Just as he was about to tell the girl to go far, far away he felt a splash of cold water on his face. He jumped out of his chair in shock and was ready to call security when he looked up to see it was Y/N who had thrown the drink of him.

“You can keep your drinks,” Y/N began, placing the now empty glass on his table, “and I quit.” A satisfied smirk appeared on her face as she waltzed away from him.

Bucky was gobsmacked, the whole room was staring at him, even the band had stopped playing. Bucky could only watch Y/N walk towards a man by the bar. He desperately wanted to chase after her but the girl who had been on his lap most of the night was now whining non-stop.

“Ugh James I think some of it got on my dress, this is PRADA you bitch, JJaaammmess call security on her!” She was like an angry chihuahua.

Y/N could hear the girls whining at Bucky and it only made her pride swell. Have fun with her tonight ‘James’. She sauntered towards Tony who could only chuckle at Y/N’s actions.

“You’re going to be a handful aren’t you.” Tony raised a brow at her.

“Well, there’s nothing like a good bit of publicity,” Y/N smirked.

With that Y/N left the club for the last time on Tony’s arm and with Bucky left hopelessly behind. To her, it seemed like a fitting start to her new life.

Five years had passed since she first met Tony. He had become her mentor, teaching her how to truly make a lasting impression on audiences and how to act now that she was under the media's watchful eye.

With every new song Y/N released, her fame only grew more and more. In a mere five years, she had become an icon with her voice and ‘angelic’ style of dress. Tony’s words the first night she met became something of a mantra to Y/N. True to her word, she was bigger and better than she ever believed she could be. She had proved Bucky wrong at every chance she was given… even if he wasn’t around to see it.

Y/N had just finished tonight’s performance and was cooling down in her dressing room. No matter how many times she performed to thousands of people, she still needed some quiet time after to make all the adrenaline leave her body. She’d changed out of her costume and simply had on a silk robe as she removed her makeup. The silence of the room was a stark contrast to the screaming crowds Y/N had been in front of earlier but she liked it. It was something to keep her grounded.

Just as Y/N finished removing her makeup her phone rang. Tony made fun of her for being one of the biggest names in America and still having the same phone from five years ago. Something about the nostalgia of it was comforting. Despite her fame and fortune, Y/N never wanted to forget everything she had because she worked for it. She didn’t recognise the number but nonetheless, she answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Is this Y/N L/N… the actual Y/N L/N speaking?” A voice asked on the other line.

“Yes, who is this?” Y/N replied, there weren’t many people these days who had her number.

“I’m a nurse at St. Andrews hospital, we’ve recently had to admit James Barnes and he’s listed you as his emergency contact,”

By some miracle, Y/N had been touring in the same state where Bucky was. Tony had warned Y/N against it, telling her that the paparazzi would be on her like vultures and ‘wasn’t Barnes the same guy you threw your drink on.’ But she couldn’t just ignore him, she never could.

Y/N tried to dress as casually as possible and wore a pair of sunglasses in hopes that she wouldn’t be spotted. As she walked up to the reception she felt like cursing whatever cruel God was going to bring James Barnes thundering back into her life.

It just had to be from a hospital, I haven't had one phone call from him in years and when I finally do it’s because he’s hurt himself… I guess something will never change.

Y/N told herself she would just see if he was okay if he was then she could simply walk away and never see him again. The lady on reception told her that he was in room 104, so Y/n walked down the corridor trying to hold her head high. No matter how hard she tried, there was an uneasy pit of worry forming inside her. What if Bucky was seriously hurt? What if he was dying? All the worst possible scenarios seemed to be forming in her mind. She needed to find Bucky and she needed to find him now.

Before she knew it, Y/n was running towards his room. Acting almost on impulse she heaved the door open to see Bucky lying on the hospital bed. At first glance, Bucky seemed to be fine with only a couple of scratches and bruises on him but then Y/n looked at him properly. Maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me? But they weren’t… Bucky’s left arm was gone.

Bucky looked up to see some girl standing in his room. She was wearing a cream trench coat and sunglasses as if she was from old Holywood. There was a second of uneasy silence when Bucky was about to explain that she had the wrong room when she finally spoke up.

“Bucky,” Her voice quivered as she walked closer to him. She removed her sunglasses and Bucky could have sworn his heart stopped beating then and there.

He had seen so much of her, in the papers, magazines and on almost every billboard in the country. True to her word she had become a star, bigger and brighter than ever. However, no matter how many times he saw her on paper it didn’t come close to seeing her in person.

“Jesus Buck,” She sighed when she was finally right next to him, “What happened to you?”

Bucky looked down to where his arm should’ve been but instead all he could see was disgusting scar tissue peeking out from his bandage. There wasn’t much to say other than he had been his usual self and this time it nearly killed him. He was speeding down a dark country road without a care in the world when the car spun out of control and hit another car driving the other way. By a miracle, the other driver hadn’t been hurt but fate wasn’t going to let Bucky get away scot-free. Bucky looked back up to Y/N, he didn’t want to admit to her that after all these years he was still being an idiot.

“You were right you know, you made it bigger than anyone ever thought you could be and you did earn every single bit of it all by yourself,” Bucky began to speak. His voice sounded rough and strained as he talked. Every word that came from his mouth seemed to break Y/N’s heart.

“You were right about me as well… I’m nothing more than some spoiled rich kid.” Bucky seemed to hang his head in shame.

“Oh, Bucky, you’re so much more than that,” Y/N instantly felt the guilt from their argument wash over her. In all these years she never considered that what she said might have hurt Bucky.

“No I am, I’m pathetic... I can’t even hold you in my arms… I always thought the next time I saw you I would get to hold you-” Bucky choked up, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

Y/N’s heart broke at the sight. Acting as if no time had passed, Y/n kneeled down next to him and took his head in her hands, wiping away his tears.

“I’ve felt so numb for so long Y/N, I haven’t felt anything in five years until you walked through that door,” Bucky admitted.

“You have no idea what it was like to hear your name for the first time in five years, pretty sure my heart stopped.” Y/N’s face carried the same pained expression as his.

That was when it dawned on Bucky, he never did remove her from his emergency contact. Part of him was beginning to wonder why she had suddenly appeared in the hospital. An awkward silence fell between them. They hadn’t seen each other in so long and they didn’t part on the best terms but right now Bucky needed Y/N. He needed the girl who became his friend when he was 11, the girl who cared for him more than words could say but also called up out for all his bullshit. So that’s when he asked her,

“I know I have no right to ask you, but please don’t go, please?” Bucky begged.

At that moment Y/N released how broken Bucky was. In all of her life Bucky seemed to demand everything, so used to having everything at his beck and call. This was the first time in her life she could recall Bucky actually asking for something.

“I’m not going anywhere Bucky, I’ll always be here for you when you need me.” Y/N told him.

She meant it with every fibre in her body. There was some cruel silver lining in this whole story. That this tragic night needed to happen to bring them back to each other. Y/N stayed with Bucky all night, even when they tried to kick her out after visiting hours, Y/N merely dropped her name and they let her stay all night.

Bucky had been given some heavy pain meds and was fast asleep but still, Y/N refused to leave his side. He could have died tonight. Those words played over in her mind like a bad record. It’s what made her realise that she had spent over six years without her best friend. That she had abandoned him when he needed her the most. Y/N didn’t even have a good reason for abandoning him other than pettiness and stubbornness.

Then Y/N’s phone rang, it was Tony and Y/N already knew he was going to be pissed.

“Hey, Tones,” Y/N answers trying to sound as sweet as possible.

“Well if it isn’t my Darling protege, tell me Y/N in all teachings have you truly learnt nothing?” Tony’s sarcastic tone made Y/N pull away slightly from the phone. As badly as she wanted to hang up on him then and there, it would have only made him angrier.

“Tony,” Y/N sighed down the phone, hoping she could calm him down.

“Oh no you’re not talking your way out of this, there’s currently about 100 reporters and paps outside the hospital as we speak and they’re sure as hell not leaving without some answers,”

Y/N tried to cut in but Tony was very clearly not finished with his rant.

“-Answers as to why The Y/N L/N suddenly ditched her own after-party for some random guy in a hospital bed, what Bonzo story are you going to try and float here?” Tony groaned down the phone.

“I don’t know, okay!” Y/N yelled back, her sweet exterior finally broken down, “He just called and I came running, it’s always been the same old schtick… it’s like I can’t fucking help myself,” Y/N’s voice wasn’t as harsh as Tony’s there was still a magnitude in the words she said.

She could have simply not come and told the lady that Bucky was trying to pull a fast one but she didn’t. Instead, she put everything in her life on hold just to make sure he was okay and the worst part? She would do it again in a heartbeat.

“Look I can take care of the reporters, claim that it’s a close family friend but I need you to do something for me,” Tony sighed, “I need you to promise me that you won’t give everything up for him… whatever you two have isn’t worth losing everything you worked for.”

Y/N didn’t have the strength to keep arguing with him or anyone else. Going through the motions, Y/N simply hung up and looked back up at Bucky. He was fast asleep, the pain meds kicking in at last. That was when an awful thought hit her, she could leave now… he’s alive, you’ve done your duty… but then what? Wait another five years until he gets hurt again? She wanted to stay for him but it couldn’t be like last time. Things needed to change.

When Bucky woke up it was nearly 10 am, man the pain meds must’ve knocked him out cold. He glanced around the room, there were nurses, monitors and IV drips all around him but no Y/N. Had she snuck out in the night? Bucky couldn’t have blamed her if she had, one night wasn’t going to make up for the near-decade he had spent being an ass.

“Rise and shine, Handsome,” A nurse called over to him as she checked over his vitals.

Bucky could only give her a small nod of acknowledgement, his mind too preoccupied with Y/N.

“Something on your mind there, handsome,” The nurse kept pestering him.

“His name is James,”

Bucky pushed himself up to see it was Y/N standing by the door holding a coffee and a couple of bags. Her tone towards the nurse was flat and unamused. Something that made Bucky smile properly for the first time in years. The nurse finally left but not before telling Bucky he could simply ‘buzz’ for her at any time, in a sultry voice, a voice that made Bucky feel like spiders were crawling up his back.

Y/N was giving the nurse a death glare until she had finally left the room. Letting out a small huff, Y/N placed the cup of coffee down on the table and started going through the various shopping bags she had, silently.

“You don’t have to be jealous,” Bucky spoke,

“I’m not jealous,” Y/N muttered as she continued to go through the bags.

“Yes you are, you’ve got the same look on your face as you did when you saw Cindy Schatt’s kissing John Rider,” Bucky chuckled at the memory of that pool party at his house decades ago.

Y/N just remained silent, trying to not make eye contact with him. Bucky knew that she only did that when she knew he was right but didn’t want to argue. To be completely honest, Bucky didn’t want to argue either. He felt that they had wasted too much time arguing and swallowing their feelings, far too much time.

“I love you,” Bucky stated, his voice calm, clear and confident.

Y/N’s hands suddenly stopped moving. All the cogs in her brain stopped working as she tried to comprehend what Bucky had just said… he said he loved her. Slowly, she glanced up and allowed her gaze to meet him.

“Y/N, I love you so please don’t waste your time being jealous over some nurse,” Bucky repeated, making it clear to Y/N that he had no hidden agenda.

“How should I spend my time then?” Y/N murmured.

“Tell me you love me back,” Bucky breathed

“I’ve always loved you, that’s the problem,” Y/N sighed, why did it always seem to end in a fight with him.

Bucky felt like the oxygen in the air was suffocating him. God, with every other girl in his life it had always been so easy bit with Y/N he never seemed to be able to find the right words to say. What annoyed Bucky the most was how simple things could be, she loved him and he loved her. This was supposed to be where they would finally get their happy ending, the boy finally confesses his love for the girl and they crash into each other and kiss while the credits roll.

Y/N looked up at Bucky trying to gauge his reaction. Surely her confession couldn’t have surprised him so much. Was Bucky that clueless? All those nights she came rushing to his side when he was being a reckless idiot? Did he just assume she would do that for anyone? Bucky, however, looked completely at a loss. That was when Y/N said fuck it.

She walked over to Bucky and kissed him. Y/N cupped his cheeks and kissed him like it was the last time she would ever see him… she hadn’t quite made up her mind yet if it was going to be. Bucky kissed her back so desperately, convincing himself that her kiss was more vital to him than breathing. When Y/N finally pulled away slightly for air, Bucky couldn’t help but reach up for the taste of her lips again.

But then he noticed Y/N pull away slightly further, her hands still cupped his cheeks as if she never wanted to let go. But at the same time, she didn’t want to give all of herself to him, not anymore.

“Doll,” Bucky whispered.

“I just- I just can’t let it be like last time, James,” Y/N whispered back.

“Never, I will never be like that again, it’s already cost me far too much and I’m sure as hell not losing you again,” Bucky’s eyes were just as glassy as her’s, tears threatening to spill at any moment.

Y/N wanted to tell him how he never truly lost her but Bucky didn’t give her the chance. He kissed her, somehow even more feverishly than last time. They parted panting and forehead resting against one another. It wasn’t the kindest of reunions but it was certainly the sweetest.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #ceo!bucky #ceo!bucky x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #avenegrs #marvel #winter solider x reader #richkid!bucky #singer!reader #tony stark x reader

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and-it-freezes-me · 3 years ago

Text

Day 4 - Giant / Tiny

Content: heavy alcohol use, referenced rape, borrower!Logan attempting to look after a struggling Remus

Words: 4,962

Logan Shelf knew that, logically, he was making a big mistake.

But he had been making this same mistake almost every evening for months now, and he hadn’t died yet.

Besides, the chances of the giant actually waking up were next to zero, he reflected, picking his way carefully around a reddish puddle wider than he was tall.

This close to him, the scent of alcohol on the giant’s breath was almost overpowering: inhaling too deeply made his head spin, and the first few nights he had tried this he had ended up staggering home, woozy enough that he had been almost unable to make the climb up the side of the ferret cage to the painting that obscured the front gate. Patton had been furious with him, wrongly assuming that his nephew had been borrowing from the giant’s liquor cabinet.

Logan couldn’t blame him for that.

Not when Patton and his sister had spent several years doing the same thing with what Patton called religious fervor. Not when Logan’s mother had taken a drunken dare to walk across one of the strings supporting a large plastic spider suspended in the ground floor hallway, a feat she had managed plenty of times sober, and had fallen to her death. Not when Patton had gone cold turkey the day after the funeral, a subdued affair attended only by Cages and Shelves, and struggled to remain sober for the last eight years.

There were five families living in the house: the Cages; the Shelves in the office; the Washers, who lived somewhere under the tumble dryer in the scullery; the Easels, who lived in what had once been a bedroom but had been converted into a crafts room some years ago; and the Cabinet-Chimneys, the largest family, who had once been the Cabinets with their front gate in the bathroom and the Chimneys with theirs near the kitchen fireplace, and had merged into one several years before Logan had been born.

And then there were the giants. There had been five of them when Logan had been young: two adults, a pair of boys (Logan had only heard stories about them, unruly and dangerous, making borrowing difficult to get away with quietly), and an old woman who rarely left her bed and often left food uneaten - the rights to borrow from her had oft been contested between families, and Logan could remember the afternoon his mother had come home triumphant, tipsy from the wine on the woman’s bedside and carrying a squishy, sugary lump she had called Turkish delight. The stuff had been horrible, but the ham and fresh bread and butter that had accompanied it had been delicious, if far from the hot meal Logan had been hoping for.

Then they had gotten a ferret and a cat, and Logan’s uncle Patton had taken some friends from each of the four families and vanished to start his own. Borrowing had gotten more dangerous, with additional obstacles to avoid.

The old woman had died when Logan was ten.

It hadn’t just been the other four humans in the house to mourn her (although Logan heard murmurings that one of the adults - the woman - had been relieved to see her gone, and that the newfound subduedness in the boys made borrowing easier): plenty of borrowers lamented the easy pickings of meals left all but untouched on her bedside as she slept, and still more spoke reverently of the stories she used to tell the boys. Logan’s mother had spoken about her as though she had been an old friend.

Nine years later, and the house was empty apart from the sleeping man that Logan was currently creeping toward, senses on high alert for signs of wakefulness, for other borrowers watching him risk being Seen and bringing scrutiny down on all of them, for the sound of the front door that would signify the return of the other brother or the two older giants.

The giant had his arms crossed loosely on the table, pillowing his head; the hand with the eyes on the knuckles was closest to Logan and flat on the table, so that was where he started. Only two rings on this side today: a bumpy, ridged, neon green one on the fourth finger, and a massive silver skull on the third.

The first few times he had done this, he hadn’t removed the giant’s rings for him. Logically, it was incredibly stupid to be in such easy reach of a giant. It would take barely a second to grab him and crush him to death. Before he had known how deeply asleep the giant truly was, before he had gotten brave enough to attempt the rings, he had stuck to just removing the earrings.

Now, though, Logan removed the two rings with the comfortable ease of an action he had done many times before. They were large enough that Logan could probably wear them around his waist like a belt - although he was very thin, and doubted any of the other borrowers he knew would manage that. He stacked them neatly in the middle of the table, beside a still upright beer bottle.

“Other hand… Then ears…” Logan murmured, beginning to skirt the sleeping form. The other hand was usually more difficult: when one was pressed against the table, the other tended to be tucked between face and elbow, or else arm and body.

It would be wiser not to try to slip the rings from fingers clenched into a fist and hidden so that Logan had to stand directly under the giant’s head to pull them off - it would be wiser not to be doing this at all - but Logan couldn’t help himself.

Six months ago, the older giants had left on a trip around the world. They were in Japan at the moment (Logan had memorised the schedule they had spent months planning out, but even if he hadn’t taught himself to use the computer in the office, he would have been able to tell from the most recent addition to the pile of postcards on the kitchen counter), and would be away for another six months.

Four months ago, the red brother moved out. Well - that wasn’t quite right. He had left most of the things in his room, and he came back every week or so. It had taken Logan a while to figure out that he had moved across town (“just across town,” he had said, as though that were like walking between the sink and the pantry rather than going somewhere no more accessible to Logan than Japan) to live with his boyfriend. At least he had taken the cat.

Two months ago, Logan had been collecting carpet fibre from under the living room couch in a spot of midnight borrowing when the green brother had stumbled into the living room, bringing with him the strong smell of alcohol. His steel-toed shoes were accompanied by a pair of heavy boots attached to a giant Logan had never seen before, and when Logan peeked out to see what was going on, he saw that the green brother looked as though he was leaning heavily on the stranger. Then the couch dipped above him under the weight of two people. There had been the unmistakable sound of wet lips on skin, the sound of shifting fabric, and a slurred voice. “No, sstoppit… ‘M too drunk t-mmph…”

When the kiss ended, there was another complaining murmur, followed by shushing and a much more steady tone. “Shh, shh. You’re fine, see? Brought you home like you asked. Gonna be just fine…”

Logan had spent almost half an hour hiding under that couch, listening to the green brother’s complaints be drowned out by the creaking of furniture and the sounds of skin against skin, terrified that if he moved he would be noticed, sick to his stomach at what he was hearing. It was when he realised that his giant had stopped begging the stranger to stop that Logan finally gave in and made the dash across the room to the cage. If either giant saw him, he’d take the repercussions as they came: he couldn’t bear to listen to what was happening for a moment longer.

He had thrown up halfway down the tunnel leading to the Cage home, and spent the next two days in bed, not wanting to think about anything he had just seen. Then Logan had pushed the memory aside, gotten up, and started borrowing again.

There wasn’t anything else he could do, after all.

It had been a week after that that the Rem- that the giant had started drinking.

Logan shouldn’t have been paying attention as much as he should, but he had started looking out for his giant. The yellow friend had stayed for a week before moving out; it wasn’t as though there was anybody else here to make sure he was eating and sleeping (although Logan couldn’t actually do anything to ensure this). He had started trying to make sure he knew when his giant was in the house, listening for the slamming of the front door or footsteps. He could see the bowl on the living room coffee table where the giant stored his housekeys from the front gate, though keys weren’t the most reliable way of telling whether he was home. Logan had listened to several arguments between the brothers and gathered that the green giant frequently ended up climbing in through a window when he forgot to bring them out with him.

And so Logan had noticed the first night that his giant fell asleep at the kitchen table, and again when he had done it three days later, and again the following night.

Logan had noticed the way he started twitching a few hours after falling asleep, the way he started pawing at his hair and face, at his torso and shoulders and neck and hips.

Logan had noticed the bloody scratches appearing on his bare skin where his giant’s many rings cut against his skin.

Logan had noticed the tattered mess of the torn-out piercings.

It had been painfully obvious, after the first few mornings and the first dozen plasters, that his giant didn’t care enough to remove his often very spiky jewellry before drinking himself into unconsciousness.

Really, it hadn’t taken Logan as long as it should have to gather the courage to sneak close enough to the giant to help him. Logan should have taken weeks to gather data, to use the never-charged tablet to look up giant sleep patterns and the effect of alcohol upon them, to sketch up plans and weigh benefits against costs, to conclude that he needed to keep the giant healthy so the giant could keep bringing food into the house for them to borrow.

Instead, he had found himself sneaking across the table and trying to figure out how to remove a spike as long as his forearm from the giant’s ear.

There were six rings on his giant’s left hand this evening: a thick black one with a large claw on the thumb; a spiked circlet and a golden snake swallowing its tail on the forefinger; the black ring with moving parts that his giant sometimes fiddled with on the middle finger; a silver loop with glittering red and green stones (glass: Logan had checked his giant’s internet shopping history), and an unwieldy ring shaped like an octopus that covered almost the entire distance between the first and second knuckles on the fourth. It took Logan three trips to carry them all down to the small shiny pile he was making in the middle of the table.

The giant let out a rumbling snore that shook the table, and Logan froze, exposed, as he shifted, stirred, and then was still again.

He wasn’t waking up. The night before Logan first started removing his earrings, the borrower had watched a broom propped against the table (Rem- the giant had smashed a bottle on the floor and gotten halfway through cleaning up before giving up) slip sideways until it glanced off his shoulder and crashed to the ground. If the light impact and the subsequent noise hadn’t been enough to wake him, Logan doubted that his own near-silent working would.

Going still at the first loud noise was one of the first tricks Logan had learned, though. The giants rarely seemed to see things if they didn’t move.

The scramble up to the green brother’s shoulder took moments, and then he was using two hands to unscrew the backs of a series of pointed studs, to pull apart the hinges of rings, to snap open the catches of cuffs, and tuck them into his bag. Having no desire to repeat the experience of having to scale back down the giant’s arm after removing each piercing, Logan had started bringing a sack with him to collect the small bits of metal and plastic.

He dealt with both ears before returning to the tabletop to deposit the contents of his bag beside the small pile of rings, and then turned to look back at his still-sleeping giant. He had snored a few more times, each time making Logan cling to the shell of his ear or risk taking the fall to the kitchen tiles far below, but had been almost tranquil aside from that.

What next?

Some nights, the green brother wore spiked bracelets velcroed around his forearms - not tonight. Tonight, he was wearing a hoodie that was chartreuse beneath the stains, sleeves long enough that had he not had them pushed back, they would have covered his hands with ease. Even if he were wearing his spiked wristbands, Logan doubted he would be able to cut himself on them.

“... Which leaves the face…” Logan mumbled.

Right.

Five in the eyebrows, one in the nose, four in the lower lip. There had been two in the nose and seven in the eyebrows, but the extras had been ripped out.

It had been the face that had taken Logan the longest to build up the courage to approach, entirely disliking the idea of being that close. Even now, he took a moment to steel himself before moving closer, slipping over one arm and into the space between face, table, and elbow.

There was also one in his giant’s tongue, but Logan wasn’t about to climb into his mouth.

He wasn’t that stupid.

He wouldn’t be that stupid. (At least until his giant started cutting up the inside of his cheeks with it. Or he started trying to rip it out).

The mouth was closest, though, so that was where Logan started. It still felt weird to tug at one of the large lips until he could reach the back of the piercing, saliva warm and slimy - he had had to start wearing sleeveless tunics to avoid questions about why the arms of his shirts were always damp.

Logan was just reaching up to unscrew the glittery nose stud when the front door opened.

He froze, arms stretched above his head, one hand actually inside the giant’s nostril.

Nobody ever came in this late at night.

If he were lucky, it would be the red brother, exhausted, coming to crash upstairs after an argument with his purple boyfriend. The giant wouldn’t bother coming into the kitchen to-

“Remus? Are you here?”

Fuck. It was Ja- It was the yellow friend.

The yellow friend had spent a lot of time in the house in the days after that night, to the point that he had brought a snake in a cage that had sat on the kitchen table for a week. Logan’s giant hadn’t started drinking until after he had moved back out.

The yellow friend would definitely come into the kitchen - Logan could already hear his footsteps approaching. Jerking his hands back to his sides, Logan glanced around, possibilities racing through his brain.

If he left the shelter of his giant’s arms, he would be out in the open, easy to see and grab and squash. The yellow friend would be able to see him with barely a glance over the table: a small pile of jewelry, a sleeping giant, an upright empty bottle, two on their sides and dripping beer, a closed, half empty bottle of vodka, and a tiny person.

If he stayed where he was… Well, he was hidden from sight until the green brother woke up - and Logan doubted that would happen. He had watched the giant sit down earlier that evening and drink with the air of a man steeling himself for the gallows, as he had three nights out of the previous four (the fourth night, the giant had been drunk already when he got home): he wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon.

Inhaling deeply (and regretting it as his head spun with the alcohol on his giant’s breath), Logan retreated closer to the green-clad arm and crouched beside it, hoping the shadows of the crook of the elbow would obscure him completely.

“There you are… Oh, Re…” The footsteps had stopped; the smooth voice was right above him now. Logan hissed in another breath as the green brother shifted in place, then realised that it wasn’t a sign of wakefulness but merely the yellow friend resting a hand on Remus’ shoulder.

(Yes, Logan knew their names. Logan knew all their names: Valerie, the old woman who had told stories and had died when he was ten. Dot, the woman who hadn’t been sorry to see Valerie dead, and her husband Larry, who had always wanted to travel the world and finally gotten to do so. Roman, the brother almost always clad in a red shirt, red jumper, red sash or tie or dress, and his boyfriend Virgil with his purple jacket. Janus, the friend with the black hat and the yellow lining in his coats and jackets, his blonde hair. And Remus, Logan’s giant, the one he looked after because Janus was the only one that was really there for him, and even then he wasn’t there all the time. Yes, Logan knew their names, and Logan knew he shouldn’t have allowed himself to know their names, shouldn’t have allowed himself to care about the huge, clumsy giants that never noticed when things were borrowed yet could destroy their lives with a clumsy footstep. It had become harder and harder to stop himself from using their names in the last few weeks).

A snore.

“I wish you talked to me…” The giant was moving again, and from the clink of glass on glass, Logan guessed he was clearing up. A few seconds later, there was the sound of cloth on wood - he was wiping up the spilled alcohol. Good - the table had been getting rather sticky over the last few weeks, ruining the soles of Logan’s most comfortable borrowing shoes. Remus never got around to cleaning it.

Then there was the clink of metal, and a faint chuckle. Was he looking at the pile of rings? “That’s not like you. I’m glad, though… Explains why you started looking slightly less cut up last time you answered your phone.” A pause. “Two answers. In a month. Not cool, Re. You’re better than that…”

The green giant didn’t answer. Neither Logan nor Janus had been expecting him to.

“I wish I hadn’t had to go.” More clinking. What was the yellow friend doing? Logan wished he’d leave. His legs were starting to cramp from his uncomfortable crouching position. “If I could have stayed, you know I would, right?” Was Janus aware that Remus couldn’t hear him? Logically, he must be - so could he save the soul-bearing for later? “I didn’t want to leave you alone.” Apparently not. “I did tell you to call me, though - ‘every night’, you promised. And I thought I was the liar here, huh? Dick. Come on, let’s get you to bed…”

Wait. What?

Logan didn’t have time to react as his cover was pulled away. All he could do was close his eyes and cover his head.

There was a sharp intake of breath from somewhere above him.

It seemed that staying perfectly still didn’t quite work when he was the only thing on a table aside from a small pile of metal jewelry.

“Well, I have to say that I completely expected to see a tiny person hiding under the unconscious body of my best friend.” There was the sound of movement, and Logan hunched his shoulders more tightly. “Come on. You shouldn’t look at me or anything. I’m absolutely going to turn you to stone when you make eye contact.”

He couldn’t make a run for it.

Quite aside from the fact that the yellow friend would probably catch him before he had gone half a metre despite supporting Logan’s giant, any hiding place Logan escaped to would result in the giants tearing up the house to try to find him. He couldn’t go home without leading them straight back to his family.

All he could do was make sure he didn’t do or say anything to give away the rest of the borrowers living around the house.

“Oh, come on. You’re the one hiding underneath my friend.” Movement again.

Slowly, Logan allowed his hands to drop, and tilted his head upward.

Janus was staring down at him, vast face impassive, one arm around Remus’ waist. One of Remus’ arms was draped over Janus’ shoulders, though the green brother’s body was limp in what was quite clearly still unconsciousness. It didn’t look as though Janus was struggling with his weight, and Logan suddenly noticed how thin his giant looked.

Maybe he hadn’t done such a great job of taking care of him after all.

“What are you…” Logan’s gaze snapped back to the yellow friend’s face in time to see his eyes (one grey, one pale brown, which was supremely cool) flick between him and the pile of rings still on the table. There was no sudden comprehension dawning over his face, but one eyebrow lifted ever so slightly. “How long have you been taking out his studs for him?”

Logan swallowed hard, met the giant’s stare coolly, and remained silent. The giant let out a frustrated huff.

“I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to know what you’re doing in my friend’s house.”

Logan licked his lower lip, narrowed his eyes, and said nothing.

“If Re had a fairy godfather, I would have expected him to be a little more…” The giant gestured vaguely. “Rock’n’roll. Grimy. Bigger, definitely. You can’t exactly do mu-”

“At least I’ve been here for him,” Logan snapped, and regretted it as soon as Janus’ mouth twisted into a smirk.

“You do talk! Excellent. I’m going to assume that Remus doesn’t know you exist?” Janus glanced around briefly as he spoke, then lowered Remus into a different chair and took the one his friend had just been slumped in. Logan shook his head jerkily, once. “Well, I won’t tell him then.”

It was Logan’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “How can I trust you? You lie.”

A beat of silence.

Then the giant chuckled, a great wave of sound that Logan stumbled away from on instinct, found that his legs had gone to sleep, and stumbled over. The piercings he had rescued from Remus’ lower lip rolled out of his satchel and across the table; they were swiftly caught by a massive finger and pushed into the pile as well. Remus snored again.

The laughter stopped abruptly, and Janus lowered his face until his eyes were on a level with Logan, the grey suddenly the colour of winter, the amber as hard as the wood of the table beneath Logan’s body. “I never lie about looking after Remus.”

Logan paused, then nodded once, just as sharply. He believed the sudden sincerity in his tone. “Five weeks.”

“Five w- Oh. Right. That’s like… Just after I moved out again.” Logan nodded again, trying to massage the pine needles from his calves, and Janus groaned. “He told me he was fine on his own… How long’s he been drinking like this?”

“About six weeks.” Logan glanced sideways at his giant, then returned his attention to the feeling coming back to his toes. “You shouldn’t have left him.”

“He promised he was fine,” Janus repeated. Logan flinched as he lifted a hand, but the giant only moved to rub his face. “And then my cousin died and I had to help pack up and organise the funeral. I came back as soon as I- Why am I explaining myself to a mouse? Why aren’t you explaining what you’re doing in my friend’s house?”

Logan frowned. “I am not a mouse. I am -” He hesitated then. He couldn’t call himself a borrower: Logan knew from years of observation that the yellow friend possessed keen intellect, and didn’t want to imply that there were other borrowers living there. “- Logan. And I live here.”

“Logan, huh? Okay. I’m Janus, this is Remus.”

“I know.”

They lapsed into silence once more, the stillness broken only by Remus’ snoring and the chiming of the grandfather clock in the hall. Two in the morning.

“I’ll stay here tonight,” Janus offered, and Logan glanced back at him - he had been staring at the way Remus’ hoodie hung from his thin frame. “Grab Jake The Snake and some clothes from home tomorrow, and come back to stay with him. I can sleep on the couch, and-”

“He burned the couch.” This time it was Janus that flinched, and Logan felt a momentary satisfaction that the sharpness of his words had been felt. Then he regretted it. Janus was just trying to help his giant, after all.

“What?”

“Three nights after you left. Dragged it into the garden, poured a can of petrol and a bottle of vodka on it, threw one of his lighters at it.” Logan shrugged, working hard to bring his voice back to his usual neutral tone. “I watched from the window.”

Janus frowned. “Why would he…” He trailed off at the flinty look Logan was giving him, and glanced over at Remus. Janus’ face was no longer blank. Instead, a mix of horror and nausea that Logan recognised very clearly were rising on it. “Oh. That’s where…”

Logan nodded.

“You were there.” It wasn’t a question, but Logan nodded anyway. “Oh.”

Silence again. They were both staring at Remus now.

After a moment, Janus turned back to Logan and forced a smile onto his face. It didn’t fit, and slid off a moment later. “You’ve been trying to look after him.”

“He needs it,” Logan agreed. “I doubt he would do it if we just left him.”

“We?”

Logan winced. He probably shouldn’t have said that. This was the problem with allowing himself to care for a giant and learning their names… “I meant, ‘I’.”

“Or… It could be ‘we’.” Janus shifted a little, ran his fingers through his blond curls, then rested his hand lightly on the table. Logan edged away from it, watching the giant pretend not to notice. “We could work together. Make sure this gremlin takes care of himself.”

“How do I know you won’t just put me in a jar and dissect me?” It had to be asked, but Logan regretted it at the smirk that flickered over the giant’s mouth.

“Well, now that you suggest it…” He chuckled weakly, then shook his head. “I told you. Looking after Remus comes first. Besides, I have no interest in chopping you up. We’re on the same team now.”

Logan hesitated, then groaned quietly and pushed himself to his feet. “Fine. But I can’t do much, given my size. You’ll have to make sure he eats. I can watch him. I’ll draw up a schedule for-”

“Fine. Do that.” Janus waved a hand, and a gust of air washed over Logan, almost enough to knock him down. “I’m dead on my feet. We can discuss this tomorrow. Kitchen table. Eleven pm. Deal?”

Logan frowned. “You… Seem quite alive to me. And you are currently sitting down - there is very little -”

“It’s a figure of speech. Deal?”

“Fine.” Crouching, Logan picked up his satchel, double checked that he didn’t still have any of the studs in there, and swung it over his shoulder. He wasn’t going to move until he was sure that Janus and Remus were upstairs and he couldn’t be seen, but he should at least be ready to do so. Who knew how long it would take Janus to put his friend to bed? Logan didn’t want to get caught making his way home. “Deal. Tomorrow, twenty-three hundred hours. Tell nobody. Bring a notebook and a pen and be ready to take notes.”

Janus chuckled and stood as well. “Done.”

Logan watched as Janus picked Remus up again and made his way slowly out of the kitchen and into the hallway, and waited until the third step from the top creaked in complaint before he started making his way back toward the cage in the living room.

As terrified as he was by the prospect of having just been Seen, having just spoken to a giant, having promised to speak to him again… Logan had to say that he was relieved to have help in looking after his Remus. There was only so much he could do, given how small he was compared to the man he was attempting to take care of. Maybe having broken every rule he had ever been taught about borrowing wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

Maybe making mistakes was a good thing sometimes, no matter how illogical that sounded.

#borrower!Logan #logan tss #remus tss #janus tss #alcohol #tw rape reference

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