#nightingale x reader
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TWICE THE SPICE
synopsis: threesome pairs with the ptn women
featuring: zoya, bai yi, rahu, shalom, langley, nightingale, chelsea, eirene
rating: 18+ smut (men and minors dni)
warnings: sub! afab fem reader, thre.esomes, rough s.ex, double pen.etration, an.al, transfem characters (zoya, bai yi, rahu), exhibition, voy.eurism, fing.ering, pet play, pet names, cunnilingus, face sitting, marking, strap ons, mentions of a sugar mommy and sugar baby relationship, not proofread.
art credits: what does the fox say
ZOYA AND BAI YI
“Well damn, I didn’t know pretty girls could take a cock this well…”
Bai Yi laughed rather mockingly before thrusting her cock forward to meet with the rapid thrusts of Zoya pounding you from behind. Your body was practically molded and smothered between the two Syndican gangsters, as them being gangsters, made a bet to see who could get their cock in deepest within your body. Bai Yi won the coin toss, so she was currently stuffed four to five ish inches into your pussy, while Zoya got your tight ass. The Legion leader practically grunting with each shallow thrust, as you were squeezing around her length so damn tightly.
“F-Fuck…hah…did’ya really win the coin toss, Bai Yi? Cuz’ her ass is squeezing me so fucking good…gnngh…”
Gripping your hips with a force that felt restrained —mostly because it was two S-Class sinners that were currently fucking you— your legs were suddenly lifted off the floor thanks to the combined strength of Zoya and Bai Yi pulling you up to meet their lips. Sloppy tongues and slippery trails of saliva coating your lips and neck like you were a plate that needed to be polished, as Bai Yi slipped her tongue into your mouth, and Zoya sucked a hickey on your throat.
“Mmpf…something about you just doesn’t quite hit the same as Syndicate escorts…” Bai Yi mumbles, sliding her length back out, only to slam it back in again to watch you lurch. “Maybe it’s that sweet, adorable innocence you don’t see everyday in a wasteland such as Syndicate…or…”
“Oh, shut up.” Zoya groans, pulling your head back from behind and pushing her hips even deeper, “Just stop talking, I can’t hear her moans…”
“Tch, such a hard ass…” Bai Yi giggles, but not before pulling your thighs over to wrap around her waist. “Here, this should be a comfortable position for ya, hm? Pretty girls like you like to be comfortable while they get spoiled.”
Another heavy thrust from behind pulls a rather squeamish cry from you, Zoya’s length hitting even further than before, despite how much resistance your body was giving her as she was plowing you from behind. Bai Yi notices this of course, teal eyes glimmering with that spark of possessiveness that sinners seemed to contain, as she suddenly squeezed your thighs tighter and began thrusting at a pace that felt inhumane.
“Oh, does the leader of the Legion think she can out-fuck me? The fastest woman in all of Syndicate?” She lets out a scoff and smirks rather cruelly. “Not a chance, ya giant meathead.”
All of a sudden, you felt Bai Yi activate her sinner ability for a brief moment, and soon she was hammering her length into you and pulling cries out like it was second nature.
“Hah…Hah…f-fuck…beat that you meathead.” Bai Yi teased, face flushed with ecstasy as the speed she was going at had also increased the pleasure for her. Zoya was not having it, as she scowled at the way you were falling limp onto Bai Yi, causing her to let out a possessive growl.
“You’re going to wish you never did that…” with a hefty push, Zoya practically shoved her entire cock in the rest of the way, causing you to scream rather pleasurably from the way these two sinners were fucking you to the brim. You’ve never felt so full in your life, yet it seemed like Zoya and Bai Yi weren’t stopping anytime soon.
Well, perhaps you don’t want them to stop anytime soon, but that’s okay. Zoya and Bai Yi have the stamina to keep up for hours. And they made sure you knew that by keeping you in their grips till you were unable to stand.
RAHU AND SHALOM
“Oh Rahu, you’re making such a mess on the floor. That isn’t proper for our guest…”
Rahu groaned as she was currently kneeling on the floor of Shalom’s bedroom, precum dripping down her shaft, as Shalom chuckled and spread your pussy lips a bit wider, giving Rahu a tempting treat. Somehow the wicked woman and her lapdog had tricked you into letting them undress you, yet given the position you were in now, you weren’t really complaining as Shalom and Rahu were easily some of the hottest women you’d ever had the pleasure of being with. And that spoke volumes given how many pretty sinners there were at the Bureau.
Rahu groaned a bit and shamelessly swallowed a bit of drool that had piled up in her throat. Just the sight of Shalom sitting behind you, fully clothed while you were stripped naked, Shalom’s fingers toying with your dripping cunt while Rahu could only stare and watch, has the woman fighting against the urge to jack off, knowing full well that Shalom would punish her later.
The poor bodyguard was left watching with hungry eyes as you whimpered such breathtaking sounds, Shalom’s beautiful fingers pinching at your clit, before slowly sliding into your cunt and making the most soaked of noises with your pussy.
“My sweet Rahu, do you hear that?” Shalom smiles and coos into your ear. “That’s the sound of a delightfully wet pussy, just begging for it to be stuffed full by someone…”
She grins rather mockingly at the way Rahu was barely able to keep it together, before leaning in to kiss your right ear and sink her fingers even deeper. “See how good my Rahu is? Literally salivating at the thought of splitting you open on her dick. Yet she’s so obedient that she’s waiting for my command, not even jerking off like a good puppy…”
When you let out a small cry of pleasure from Shalom’s finger rubbing at your walls, Rahu flinches and looks up at you with the most neediest of eyes you’ve ever seen. Another glob of precum slides down her stiffening shaft, and she actually lets out a whimper, begging for Shalom to let her touch you.
“Shalom, I…”
“Hush, pet.” Shalom whispers, eyes not even meeting hers, as she was laser focused on the way your cunt was just swallowing her in. “You’ll get your turn when I say so, but for now, let me savor this sweet little treat…”
You whine when she suddenly tilts your head back for a kiss, the sight of her mistress kissing such a cute woman causing Rahu to groan and twitch her cock with need. “Shalom…”
“So impatient you are…” Shalom tuts, finally, finally turning to Rahu while squishing your face with her free hand. “You’re practically rock hard just from watching. Don’t you have any shame?”
Rahu’s eyes flicker down in an act of guilt, before slowly training her eyes back up to stare at your beautifully puffy pussy.
“…No, I don’t.” Rahu whimpers softly, seemingly eager to sheath her shaft inside you.
“Hm, a bit honest there, aren’t we?” Shalom chuckles, before sliding her fingers out from your cunt to give an experimental taste. “I’ll allow it. As a reward for your honesty, you can have a taste of this…deliciously wet woman.”
The wicked woman smirks as Rahu’s eyes widen in surprise. Almost immediately however, she springs up from her kneeling position on the floor, and grips her cock into her hand, groaning as she was finally able to touch it, before running over and kissing you desperately on the mouth.
Through muffled whimpers, Rahu angles her cock to slip inside, all the while Shalom giggles and helps spread your legs a little wider.
“Now this should get interesting…”
LANGLEY AND NIGHTINGALE
“Come on Adjutant. That mouth of yours has got to have other uses other than yapping.”
Langley sneers as she pushes the loyal Adjutant down to eat you out with more energy, the Adjutant’s eyebrows furrowing at the disrespect, and pulling away slightly to argue. “With all due respect, Langley. That comment was unnecessary and m-mmpf!”
“The poor girl is all sensitive and needy, Nightingale. Don’t make her wait any longer than she has to.” Langley flashes you a snide smirk, before shoving Nightingale back down to continue eating you out. “Atta girl. Gotta reward the rookie when she deserves it, yeah?”
While Nightingale so desperately wanted to argue back, she couldn’t deny how soft and addicting your pussy felt on her tongue. All it took was a few more licks and the poor Adjutant was hooked, gripping your thighs into her hands and smearing her tongue against your clit till her face was covered in slick.
“Goodness, what a peckish birdie,” Langley chuckles, striding over to where you were currently laying as she wanted to get a good look at you. “Now, to enjoy the rookie’s pretty face…”
She grins as she watches the way your face contorts into expressions of ecstasy, Nightingale’s frantic tongue not even following a singular pattern, as all she wanted to do was taste more and more of your mouth-watering slick. It was clear that Nightingale too, wasn’t as experienced as having sexual intercourse —unlike the infamous 9th Agency leader— however, the clear inexperience of two innocent women lying in her bed, was too attractive for Langley not to get aroused over.
“Oh, Adjutant…” Langley chuckles, admiring the pussy-drunk expression on the blue-haired woman’s face. “Have you ever eaten out a woman before? Your moves are amateur and the expression you’re making makes it seem so.”
Nightingale ignores the Agency leader’s probing words, and continues sliding her tongue deeper into your cunt, causing you to writhe and let out a surprised gasp.
“…Hm. Well, I suppose sloppy movements would feel like heaven to another woman who’s never been eaten out before.” Langley chuckles and caresses your face with both hands, giving it a gentle squeeze before standing back up to unzip her skirt. “However, I do want to see women improve when dealing with things in the bedroom, so let’s take this as a practice session for you two.”
Nightingale could barely register her words, but you can, looking up at the way Langley smirked down at you and dropped her skirt to the floor. “Whaddya say, rookie. Up for a little challenge with your boss?” She lets out a husky chuckle and peels her panties off to reveal a glistening wet pussy. “I’d like to see how good your tongue game is compared to the little bird.”
She casts Nightingale a knowing glance, and she manages to hear it but couldn’t care less. All she does is continue digging her tongue into your folds, groaning and rubbing her thighs together as she couldn’t wait to be serviced next in your little session with Langley.
Meanwhile, Langley gently taps your cheek and forces you to pay attention to her. There was a glint of jealousy in her eyes when she saw how you were looking at Nightingale with bedroom eyes, but they left as soon as they came. “Eyes up here, rookie. Mouth open, tongue out.”
In a dazed state, you obediently listen, parting your lips to await the the sweet arrival of Langley’s cunt on your face, and a blissful moan of ecstasy climbs through your throat the moment she gets herself seated.
“Oh…rookie…” Langley breathes out, smirking and getting herself comfortable. “I was right for picking you. You’re the perfect addition to Nightingale and I’s nighttime sessions.”
Nightingale makes a muffled moan at that, bumping her nose against your clit and giving your inner thigh a small kiss.
“Now, let’s see how good you are at using that tongue, rookie.”
CHELSEA AND EIRENE
“Oh please, like that strap on is big enough for my baby…”
Chelsea rolled her eyes at the strap that Eirene presented herself with, and pointed to her own strap like it was the bigger and better one in comparison to Eirene’s.
“Your strap is missing girth. My sugar baby loves it when I buy her all the thicker toys.”
“Oh, please.” Eirene scoffs and runs a hand down her strap, caressing it rather sensually as she knew you were staring at it with curious eyes. “Girth is not all that matters. That toy of yours would break her in seconds. Length is what she definitely needs, all your toys are so short and…stubby.”
She narrows her eyes in a rather condescending way, clearly not enjoying how Chelsea was ridiculing her choice in sex toys. Chelsea picked up on the hostility coming from Eirene’s gaze, and scoffed before turning to you, lying innocently on the bed all sprawled out and waiting for your sugar mommies to tend to you.
“Dear, you’ve always preferred girth, yes? You love the feeling of being stretched open to your limit and—”
“Don’t get hasty now, Chelsea.” Eirene hums, staring at you with those heterochromatic eyes, “I bet she would enjoy a new feeling for once. Perhaps a longer toy she never got to experience since you always dull her with the same old experiences.”
“Oh you little—”
“Tsk, why don’t we just ask her then? See what she prefers.”
They both turn to you at the same time, startling you as you didn’t expect to be caught in the middle of the turmoil. You weren’t sure of how to respond at first, but before you could even open your mouth and utter a word, Chelsea beat you to it.
“You know what, forget this. What better way than to settle this, than by fucking her with each toy. Then, we can ask her for her opinion afterwards when she’s all spent out. I’m getting antsy just standing here.” Eirene’s eyebrow raised at Chelsea’s bold claim, yet the prospect of a competition (especially a competition regarding you) had the chess prodigy standing on her toes.
“…Alright then. Let’s settle this once and for all.” She declares, moving over to the bed and tapping you so that you’d get into position. Doggy style, since Eirene loved admiring your soft back. “I fuck her first. It’s only fair given how I was the first to get to her.”
“Ughhh…” Chelsea groans before making her way to where your mouth was, tapping your chin and making you look up at her. “I’m sorry, my sweet baby. Looks like I’ll have to fuck your mouth this time for the first round. Get my cock nice and lubed up, okay? I’ll be fucking you next round.”
Though a bit upset that Eirene beat her to the punch (or rather, pussy) Chelsea smiled nonetheless and pressed the tip of her strap to your lips. At the same time, you felt Eirene press the tip of her strap to the entrance of your cunt, both women prepared to fuck you senseless, as nothing motivated them more than to spoil you with absolute ecstasy.
“We’ll see who she likes better, Miss Eirene.”
“Likewise, Countess Chelsea.”
And as they both smirked in good sportsmanship, both women raised their hips and slowly descended into you, causing you to simultaneously moan and gag at the same time. They sure do love their sugar baby…
#path to nowhere#zoya smut#zoya x reader#bai yi smut#bai yi x reader#rahu smut#rahu x reader#shalom smut#shalom x reader#langley smut#langley x reader#nightingale smut#nightingale x reader#chelsea smut#countess chelsea smut#ptn chelsea smut#chelsea x reader#countess chelsea x reader#ptn chelsea x reader#eirene smut#eirene x reader#ptn smut#ptn x reader#path to nowhere smut#path to nowhere x reader
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Reader buying Xl condoms reactions but with Chameleon, Nightingale, zoya, and Bai yi
I feel like at this point I should just write something with all the PTN women reacting to reader buying those sized condoms for themselves in front of them.
CW: Smut under the cut!
✧ BAI YI
• Bai Yi can't even being to stop herself from being downright dirty in the store as soon as she sees you grabbing the XL sized condoms.
• She's holding onto your arm, caressing your body, whispering god awful dirty things into your ear, and even goes so far to grope your crotch in an aisle when no one is looking. She's holding a devious smirk on her face, biting her bottom lip as she feels you grow hard under her touch.
• She's clearly trying to push your buttons, and sadly it was very much working. You were getting unbelievably pent up as you continued shopping with her, your face a deep red from arousal and anger. You were trying so hard to hide the giant tent building.
• As soon as you get home, force Bai Yi into bed and either tease & edge the shit out of her with just your tip, or fuck her like an animal in heat, rough and fast with your entire length shoving into her. You gotta teach her a lesson after all what she did at the store.
✧ CHAMELEON
• Chameleon is sliding up behind you, licking her lips as she looks over your shoulder and watches you grab the XL sized condoms. She can feel a heat building between her legs as she begins to imagine how big you must be.
• She's tracing her lips across your neck, mumbling dirty little things for only you to hear. Telling you how she wants to watch your huge cock twitch and leak from her teasing, and wants to see the bulge you'll make on her stomach when your buired inside her.
• It has you breathing heavily, your cock twitching and aching in your pants as you try so hard to focus on finishing up shopping. Chameleon will leave you alone for the rest of the time, watching you struggle as you can't get the images of her words out of your head.
• It's adorable to see you become putty in her hands when you get home, so obedient for her as you try to stay still as she teases your giant cock, making tears spring to your eyes before you end up cumming all over her hand.
✧ ZOYA
✧ NIGHTINGALE
• Nightingale is a blushing mess when she notices you reaching for the XL sized condoms. She's letting out a little squeak, quickly covering her mouth with her hand as her eyes widen and she quickly turns away from you to continue shopping.
• She'll be biting and nibbling on her bottom lip until it's bleeding as she can't help but imagine how fucking big you must be for those condoms. She's trying to focus but failing miserably as her mind keeps drifting.
• Even all the way to the car, she has her head hung low, unable to meet your gaze in a sort of shame for having these thoughts. You'll have to interrogate her in the car to know what's going on, and she'll meekly reply with, "How is it going to fit?"
• Hearing that has you laughing, before you place a hand on her thigh and squeeze as you give her a smirk, promising you'll be extra slow and gentle with her as soon as you get home.
• Zoya is immediately thinking about how this is a challenge when she sees you grab the XL sized condoms. You must be huge to use those, but it's nothing she won't be able to handle, if anything she's going to make sure she can take you.
• She'll make a joke about how big you must be, saying she can't wait to see you use that monster between your legs on her. It has you flustered and embarrassed as you make sure no one heard her before hurrying away to finish shopping.
• She'll be laughing as she watches you hurry up, mainly because you don't want her to say anything else embarrassing like that. And she doesn't, instead tugging you close to her and whispering in your ear as you leave the store about how she can't wait to taste you.
• Expect a messy, but wonderfully satisfying blowjob from her before she's riding you with almost no trouble, quickly becoming addicted and accustomed to your large size.
#*:・゚✧*:・゚sins thirsts#*:・゚✧*:・゚sins inbox#path to nowhere#path to nowhere smut#bai yi#ptn!bai yi#bai yi x reader#chameleon#ptn!chameleon#chameleon x reader#nightingale#ptn!nightingale#nightingale x reader#zoya#ptn!zoya#zoya x reader
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Yandereish ig?
If you don’t understand che’s part, he has names for his weapons(I don’t know which one is Jon and which one is Jay)
(Genderbent!Hecate, genderbent!Nightingale, genderbent!Dudu, Che, Levy)
And here’s an extra one.
#path to nowhere#x reader#path to nowhere x reader#ptn#ptn x reader#y/n#y/n x character#x y/n#ptn hecate#hecate x reader#hecate#nightingale#nightingale x reader#ptn nightingale#dudu#ptn dudu#dudu x reader#che#ptn che#che x reader#ptn Che x reader#levy#ptn levy#levy x reader#ptn levy x reader#art#digital art
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"My dear soulmate"
☆Prompt: In which the Adjutant refuses to acknowledge the soul mate mark shared by you and her. After the mark was removed, Adjutant realised that she needed you but it was too late.
☆Warnings: Angst, Slight comfort at the end with another sinner, reader being a sinner.
It wasn't planned nor was it expected. The hardworking, strict Adjutant bearing a mark similar to that of a dangerous sinner. One whom she depised with all her heart; though sometimes her heart tells her things she doesn't like to hear.
If she could have a chance to pick another soulmate she would but god not you. Anyone but you. Why did she despise you this much? WS it because you are a sinner? Or is it because she cannot be seen with such a person?
Either way, Nightingale made it her duty to turn you down everytime you attempted to talk to her. Poor you just wanted to connect to your soulmate but she had different plans.
Your personality was kind, gentle and caring; things that a sinner wasn't expected to have. Such personality could only be owned by angels and not demons like you.
Everyone inside the Bureau knew about the mark and despite the fear Nightingale had that they would judge her, they didn't. She heard numerous times from different persons that a soulmate is the most wonderful thing, to which she'd only scoffed and walk away.
Every morning when the Adjutant comes to your cell, you'd sit by peacefully with a smile on your face, trying to start up a conversation, offering compliments everytime you saw her. On Valentines, you even went out of your way to buy tons of chocolates and flowers, even a big Teddy bear.
She of course, threw it all away, and unbeknownst to her, you witnessed the way she kicked open the bin and poured every chocolate and flowers, but she didn't throw away the Teddy. Though she acted heartless, in the back of her mind thought it was cute but her neglecting out weighed her acceptance.
She found herself doing things that she didn't even realise, she never thought she'd acted that way. Even the Chief at some point told her that she's disappointed with the way she acted and to have her beloved Cheif being disappointed, it was like a nightmare.
She blamed you. Though she didn't have a valid reason, she did. And through her hate, she sent you on an expedition, one that she was well aware of that it was dangerous to an extent that even the Chief was prohibited from going. Part of her wanted to cancel your mission but the other part still sent you.
When you came back all bloodied and barely making it to the doors of the Bureau, Nightingale watched it horror as an oxygen mask was hurriedly placed and you were quickly rushed to the hospital. In a state of shock, she sat motionless in her office of an hour until the Chief came in, an angry expression written on her face.
"You knew it was dangerous! Why did you send her?!"
"..." No words came out of her mouth.
"I'm very disappointed in you! Be it whether you're the leader of the Nineth Agency or my Adjutant, my sinners' health comes first and I won't tolerate anyone who jeopardises that. You're suspended for a month Nightingale and until you can get your mind set straight, I suggest you don't contact me or y/n."
Those words hit the Adjutant like a knife and in a slow and steady motion she packed up her things and left. Whispers could be heard from everyone as she passed by.
In that same night, she had a strange voice talk to her in her sleep. Though the voice was gentle, an unhinged tone it portrayed. "You defied the rules of fate for you had neglected the one true mate given to yourself. You will be free from her, but you shall never find another one who will treat you the same."
In a daze of fear she woke up, sweating and trembling. The atmosphere felt heavy and she huddled up in her covers and weeped.
While you were in the hospital, laying unconscious on the bed with machines hooked around you, a strange voice spoke you to as well. "My child, you have been neglected by your one true mate. Fate had not planned that for you but, you shall be free of your mark and of the pain and agony you felt with your previous mate. You will now be free to choose whomever you wish to be with." A hand stroked your head and you were awakened by the touch. It felt like an angel had touched you.
You woke up to find Hamel by your bed side, a gentle yet concerned look on her face. "You're finally awake. How are you feeling?" You stared at Hamel in a daze and felt a burning sensation. As you looked, you saw your mark being faded away slowly and Nightingale's face flashed once more in your mind. Thus the relationship between you and Hamel began.
When Nightingale returned to work, she immediately looked for you. She spotted you in the hallway, making your way back to your cell. She made it in time to grab your hand and throw her body into your arms, sobbing loudly. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please forgive me! Please..."
You just pushed her off you and she slid down the floor, tears pouring out of her eyes like a waterfall. When her eyes met the sight of your hugging Hamel, she knew she was done for. She didn't see the mark on you but her marked was still present.
It was her punishment from Fate. As the mark will still be present, she will be without a mate for all of her life and if she falls in love, the person shall never return her love.
"My dear soulmate. I'm sorry..."
#ptn#path to nowhere#path to nowhere nightingale#nightingale#ptn nightingale#nightingale x reader#ptn nightingale x reader#hamel x reader#hamel ptn#nightingale ptn x reader
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i love nightingale x f!chief so can i request hc of them de stressing each other in a wholesome and nsfw ways <333333
f!chief x nightingale my beloved..................... as you wish, anon 🫡🫡🫡 though i will be writing f!chief in the context of her being the reader, if that's alright
de-stress || nightingale x reader [NSFT]{MDNI]
cw. fingering, strap-ons, semi-public sex
notes. [NSFT] is under the cut
SFT
Destressing usually happens at home, for you and Nightingale. The days are long and tiring for the both of you, so when you get home you both drag yourselves to the shower to wash up, then flop into bed together. Nightingale doesn't outwardly say it but she loves being cuddled and held in your arms; she's lost you so many times, and sometimes for so, so long that it brings her so much peace to know that you're here. That you're okay.
If Nightingale's had a bad day, she needs a little extra pampering. Maybe you wash her hair for her, then give her a nice, slow massage on her shoulders down to her back. She'll practically melt into the bed, and more often than not end up dozing off completely. You let her sleep in, but she'll always arrive at the office 30 minutes after, flushed but looking definitely more well-rested.
(She smacks you on the shoulder for letting her be late, but before she leaves your office she sets a small packed lunch on your desk.)
If you're the one stressed, Nightingale generally does much the same. For you, your source of stress (outside work) is the recurring nightmares you get. The shackles are powerful, but you are just as shackled to your Sinners as they are to you. Sometimes, their dreams or their nightmares bleed into yours, and you lose whatever remnants of sleep you could've had. You don't like it, both because you can't sleep and because it wakes Nightingale up.
But Nightingale doesn't mind. She pulls you close instead, tucking your head beneath her chin and rubbing circles on your back to soothe you back to sleep. Touch has always been something that grounded you, relaxed you, and Nightingale's touch is especially effective.
NSFT
The hornier way of destressing can go one of two ways, I feel: soft, or desperate.
Soft is reserved for when you and Nightingale are truly just tired, but still want that intimacy. Usually it'll be things like you slipping a hand down her sleep shorts to finger her to a quiet orgasm before bed, and then her returning the favor to you. There'll be a lot of kisses exchanged, breathless against each others' lips, in between whispered i love yous.
Desperate, on the other hand... this is tension stress. Maybe one or both of you had a bad day, which leads to furious makeouts in hidden corners of the MBCC, you front pressing her back against the wall, her arms around your neck. These kisses burn, her teeth scraping your lower lip as she grinds on your thigh between her legs.
You pull apart eventually and find a more secluded spot, usually your 'hideaway' or even your office where you always keep a strap handy. Nightingale sets a time for 15 minutes and that's all the time you get to take her to absolute pound town. Which you do, obviously, and you're so glad the office walls are soundproofed.
Nightingale always cums with a shaky, whiny cry of your name that you eagerly swallow with a kiss. She's so pretty like this that you could cum from watching her alone. Aftercare in these situations is helping Nightingale fix her appearance, tucking stray strands of loose green hair back behind her ear and fixing her cap back on securely on her head, before you part ways for the remainder of the day with a gentle kiss, now that the tension has all been fucked out of both of you.
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the carnal desire to rail adjutant nightingale from hit game path to nowhere 😔😔😔
a/n :???? the babygirl ever, wanna spoil her and fuck her silly ssjskmsjskms
rough nails scrape against your back, carving deep, red lines across your skin. you grunt and fix your posture, focused on railing the fuck out of the adjutant. the aquamarine haired woman flails helplessly in your arms, holding on to you for dear life while you pummel deeper into her soaking hole.
your thrusts, filled with so much vigour that they almost knock the adjutant out of your hold several times. you almost wonder how nightingale was able to go through with all this, but you started it ever since you had the idea of fucking her silly in the halls.
“didn’t think you’d agree, miss adjutant.” you chuckle in her ear. your words elicit a whine from her, making her cunt tighten around you in the process.
“what would the chief think, hm?” the question makes her whine louder, and you laugh in amusement at her reaction from the mention of her boss.
“maybe i should get her to join next time. how about that? both of us fucking your holes and filling you up to the brim…. fuck, that’d be so hot. don’t you think so, doll?”
#vrachis#kein’s drabbles.#kein’s thirsts.#dom! reader#sub nightingale#nightingale ptn#path to nowhere nightingale#nightingale x reader#ptn nightingale x reader#nightingale smut#path to nowhere smut#path to nowhere x reader
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Valentine's Day Special
⊱ ────────────── {.⋅ M ⋅.} ───────────── ⊰
Characters; Zoya, Countess Chelsea, Cinnabar, Wendy, Nightingale
TW; Fluff and hints at smut
Notes; Happy Valentine's!!
⊱ ────────────── {.⋅ M ⋅.} ───────────── ⊰
Zoya
When Valentine's day comes Zoya will take the day off to spend the day with her S/o she won't tolerate any calls from the Legion or the MBCC, because she wants to be with S/o for a day without fighting anyone or anything just a day full of love
She has a whole day planned first thing she does is make breakfast in bed with heart pancakes, a bike ride through the city, then at night out head to the country side where she set up a picnic next to a lake
And during the whole night as she and S/o snuggle on the blanket she can't help but admire them as they gaze at the stars above them, when she's caught staring at them she just smoothers them in kisses
Afterwards when at home she'll draw out a warm bath with candles, oil and rose petals making it look like it came out of a movie, Zoya will help S/o out of their clothes and help them relax via massaging their body or help release tension in more ways then one
Countess Chelsea
She uses Valentine's Day as an excuses to spend a whole lot of money on her S/o not taking any no because and her words "It's the day of love and I want to show how much I adore you!"
Countess will buy out a whole restaurant for the day it doesn't matter if people had reservations she wants to pamper S/o, but will comply to S/o when they told to her to let other plan dine here because it's unfair to them
Buys even more experience gifts that S/o has or had laid their eyes from clothes to figures, posters, games or machines no matter what it is, she'll straight up buy it right away out of love of course
But at the end of the day when they return home Chelsea will become bashful as she grabs something from her drawer, holding a black box as she runs her thumb on the cover until she gives it to S/o. Opening the box to reveal a handmade ring with a pink sapphire in the center with red diamonds around it
Cinnabar
Cinnabar hasn't had much time to celebrate the day of love with anyone for quite a while but never the less she'll try her best, much like Zoya will take the day off to spend the day with S/o but might take a call or two to much sure everythings alright
First thing she does when wake ups snuggle closer to S/o and kiss their shoulder whispering in their ear a good morning love, spending a few minutes in bed with them until she decides to make breakfast
Then for the rest of day Cinnabar will do everything her S/o will ask of her she's treating them like royalty for the day; massage their feet? As you wish. Make them a croissant? Done. Buy them tea? Here you go.
When night falls Cinnabar will carry them up to their bedroom getting them out of their clothes, so that she can show them how much she loves them. And when she's done she'll hold them close as she kisses their bitten and bruised skin until they fell asleep
Wendy
She never really got to the spend holiday since she and the other undertakers had to deal the mania and Corruptors, so when S/o mentioned the day she didn't know how to celebrate it
Luckily for her Wendy spends the day going around the city as S/o shows and teaches her what the holiday is like, giving her everything heart shaped and candy as well as the many gifts that came with it. Much to her confusion since some of the things have a big difference in her life as an undertaker
As soon as she understands it Wendy will go out and find anything to show her love in all even getting things that she thinks is a form of love, then she'll use her chainsaw to crave a heart out of wood since she's pretty at it
But at the end of the day she'll lay on S/o's chest on the couch as they watch a horror movie together feeding other popcorn, laughing at the misfortune of the characters towards the end of the film S/o finding themselves tangled in her arms with no escape and having no choice to cuddle her
Nightingale
She doesn't get to celebrate the holiday as much as she likes to but deicide to take two days off to spend it with her S/o making up for her late night works, but unfortunately when the day comes she slept in messing up her plans today
But thankful her S/o planned ahead and got a reservations at their favorite restaurant and telling her that today they'll take care of her today, making sure that the day is all about her and that the Bureau knows that she needs to take a break (Thankfully the Chief understands and babysits for the next days)
Then afterwards they have a walk through the city arms locked in with each other talking about anything that comes to mind, occasionally stopping to admire/watch something such as musicians or street entertainer and stopped by every flower cart giving her a rose
When they come home NG is lead to their backyard where she's surprised with an outdoor movie theater and picnic (set up by the Chief and Sinners) as the projector plays her favorite movie as they night rolls on, Night finds herself settled on their chest as they played with her hair and soon enough felling asleep as S/o wraps a blanket around her
#path to nowhere#ptn imagines#ptn x reader#ptn zoya#zoya#zoya x reader#ptn countess chelsea#countess chelsea#countess chelsea x reader#ptn cinnabar#cinnabar#cinnabar x reader#ptn wendy#wendy#wendy x reader#ptn nightingale#nightingale#nightingale x reader
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not me asking for it https://www.tumblr.com/avis-writeshq/744966259884556288/if-someone-asks-for-it-ill-write-a-fic-based-on?source=share
pairing: s9!spencer reid x fem!reader genre: fluff, established relationship, SMUT warnings: 18+ CONTENT; MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !! oral fem receiving, spencer reid is a munch, hair pulling, fingering a/n: a promise is a promise !! based off of this post <3 i hope this lived up to expectations !! first time writing fem oral ha h a ha wc: 1.1k
Honestly, if there’s one person Spencer can blame for the situation he is currently in, he blames himself. After all, he should have known that a ‘gathering’ at Rossi’s house that was planned by Penelope would only call for a lot of teasing, a lot of ‘get to know each other!’ games (despite the fact that he has worked with this same team for more than seven years. What else is there to know?), and a lot of alcohol. He didn’t quite realise that these games would be of the drinking variety. Alas, here he is, sitting on one of Rossi’s incredibly expensive leather couches and cringing at the horrid taste of whiskey.
The game they’re currently playing is an alcoholic’s rendition of ‘who is most likely to?’, involving a thick stack of cards with different topics while each member of the team took turns reading out. Whoever ended up with the most amount fingers pointed in their direction was forced to drink.
Spencer hates this game. He has drank from his cup a grand total of six times, and he is not getting any more used to the spicy-poison-equivalent in his hand.
“Alright, this is a good one,” Derek announces with a manic snigger. “Who here is most likely to be a munch?”
There is no hesitation in anyone’s answers, and all six fingers point into Spencer’s direction. His jaw drops at the betrayal, his head spinning from the sheer amount of shots he had to take but also what the hell is a munch?
“I don’t even know what that means!” He insists.
“Oh–” Penelope wears a half delighted half pitying expression at his words. “We really need to get you onto the internet more. Reddit is probably up your alley.”
“Even Rossi knows what it means,” Emily cackles, gesturing to Rossi who looks all too pleased. “Hotch was my second option though.”
Aaron shrugs, sipping at his drink. “Guilty.”
A chorus of laughs and shrieks erupt from the group, leaving Spencer even more confused. “What?”
“Don’t Google it,” JJ chimes in. “Seriously.”
Spencer nods, and although he knows that he should have taken the warning seriously, the curiosity was getting to him and he had no choice but to search it up as soon as he got home. He gets the usual answers– the etymology of the word, what it means in the Oxford Dictionary, the popularity of the word since the early 1800s, and he really doesn’t understand what the fuss is. Does the team think that he eats loudly? Or that he chews with his mouth open? His brows furrow at the unsightly thought.
His interest soon shifts to a different a different link, namely The Urban Dictionary. He blinks, clicking on the link without much thought and– oh. He does not get much sleep that night.
***
Your relationship with Spencer isn’t a secret. At least, it was never supposed to be classified as such. He is simply an incredibly private person that even his closest friends don’t know that you exist. It simply never popped up in conversation– or so he says.
The relationship isn’t necessarily new either. It’s nearing the one year mark and you have gotten to the point where the two of you have been more ‘experimental’ when it comes to sex. He finds it embarrassing. You find it unsurprising that he would. You find it even more surprising when he breaks a kiss halfway to lower you onto his bed, your head falling to one of his very expensive memory foam pillows.
“I want to try something,” he announces softly into your ear, squeezing gently at your waist and looping his fingers into his shorts. “Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” you breathe, body hot with anticipation as he pulls down your shorts. It’s only when he brings his face between your thighs do you realise what he intends to do. “Spence, you don’t have to–”
“I want to,” he repeats softly, his fingers running up and down the lacy fabric at your slit. “If you want me to stop, you can tell me.”
You shake your head immediately at that, your hands moving to his grip his shoulders. “No, I don’t want you to stop but– but Spence, this is the first time you’ve done this. It’s okay–”
“Let me do this for you,” he says, his breath ghosting against the sensitive skin of your thighs. “I’ve done my research.”
“What–”
You’re silenced as soon as he presses his lips to your cunt, only separated by your pretty lacy underwear. He groans quietly at the taste of your slick seeping through the fabric, and his hands hold onto your thighs to keep them parted. It’s so good, so good, but it just isn’t enough. He pushes the fabric to the side, watching the way it clings and sticks to your skin.
All it takes is one swipe of his tongue on your pretty clit for his brain to grow blank. The grip he has on your thighs grow firmer and his fingers dig in hard enough to leave little marks. His nose bumps against your clit while his tongue travels against your folds.
“You taste so fucking good,” he breathes against you, lapping at your dripping cunt. “Fuck, angel, you’re so beautiful.”
Then, he’s on you all over again. His lips wrap around your clit and he whines into you as he sucks at the bundle of nerves. Each one of his actions has your back lifting from the bed and your hands tugging at his curls, to which he responds with a quiet moan. Amidst the pleasure, your mind nags you to be gentle, and you loosen your grip despite it taking all of your self control.
“Do that again.” He says it as a demand, guiding your hands back into his hair. “Do it again, angel.”
His head is spinning and he craves for more of you, his tongue flattening against your clit over and over again. He brings his own fingers to brush against your entrance, coating them with your slick before slipping his middle finger inside. It’s only the first knuckle but it’s enough to have you squirming beneath him. He pushes further until it reaches all the way, and Spencer groans at the feeling of you tightening around him. He kisses your clit again at the same time he curls his finger inside you and it’s all too much.
“Spence–”
You gush around his finger and he licks and laps at your pussy like he needs it to breathe. His finger curls open and closed inside you while you rock your hips against his face, your grip on his hair tightening as each second of your high passes.
“So good,” Spencer moans, kissing your clit. “Taste so good. You can do one more, right, angel? Just one more, I promise.”
reblogs are always appreciated !!
tagging the people who commented on the original post: @mosaicbrokenherz @doigettokeepyou @goblinintheblog @cassioxpeiaxmgg @daddytenebra @lilliumrorum @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @lightreiding
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid fluff#nightingale ..#spencer reid x reader fluff#matthew gray gubler x reader#munch!spencer reid#criminal minds x reader#matthew gray gubler smut#matthew gray gubler x reader smut#criminal minds#criminal minds smut#criminal minds x reader smut#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds x reader fluff#matthew gray gubler#mgg x reader#mgg x reader smut#mgg smut#matthew gray gubler x reader fluff#matthew gray gubler fluff#matthew gray gray gubler
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How Genshin men would kiss you… Pt. 1
-Mondstat Edition-
Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Kaeya, and Venti.
•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•
~Albedo
Everyone always knew Albedo as a talented alchemist. A master of his art, so to speak. He was respected in a way that a renowned researcher would be held and he deserved every bit of that glory. However, when you met him, the only thing that came to mind was how soft his aura seemed to feel. That gentle voice, welcoming eyes, feathered hair, slim body… it was infatuating how you felt pulled to him.
When you two startled dating, it only got worse. Butterflies every time he came into the room, practically melting at every sweet smile he gave. Before you knew it, he seemed just as lovestruck for you as you had been for him- immediately scouting you out whenever he returned to the city, buying you lunch if you were too busy to do it yourself; It was a side of him everyone else hardly ever saw. He just felt.. like home. His touches were always gentle, as if taking in your every move to make sure he’d never hurt you.
You started frequenting Dragonspine just to see him- the treacherous journey up the path to him was worth it every time, every scold he gave you for coming to him, every small experiment you could help with, every “I missed you”, every cuddle to keep you warm… and eventually every kiss he graced your lips.
It started off as small pecks. Forehead kisses, bringing your bare palm to his lips as if to warm your hands in place of gloves (that he always nagged at you to wear to avoid the sheer coldness of the mountains), he never failed at making your heart soar. You’d never expect him to be such a romantic, and yet he was. You loved him all the more for it.
One night, you had run into some fatui who stubbornly would not let you pass the path you usually took to Albedo, delaying your arrival a full two hours. Albedo had been worried sick, immediately rushing to you when you arrived very cold and very hungry.
“Damn those brutes…” he cursed, praying you were completely alright as he grabbed some of his rations and saved spring water. He tenderly wrapped you in a blanket and sat you by the little campfire in his research area, no longer caring about his work and focusing on you for the time being. He brushed snowflakes out of your hair and gently wiped them away from your eyelashes. Even after assuring him that you were alright, he still persisted on pampering you until he was sure you were 100%.
One moment led to the next, and you found yourself in his arms, his lips on yours. He kissed you softly, one hand on holding the back of your head and the other gently wrapped around your back as you two sat by the fire. The warm air contrasting with the icy breeze into the nook in the mountain was the least bit distracting as everything just seemed to fade away in his embrace.
When he pulled away, his forehead against yours to maintain closeness in this new experience, he let out a shaky breath, a small puff of his warm exhale lingering for a moment.
“I love you, snowflake..” he whispered, and you felt your heart glow.
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
~Diluc
Diluc originally hired you as Charles’ assistant at the Angel’s Share. But you always came in even if it was Diluc running it and not Charles. He was (reluctantly) forced to get used to you being around. Even if his cold demeanor scared off most, you never seemed convinced. At heart, you knew he was a gentlemen- even when he used to keep you at arms length. He still does, just not as much as everyone else and you took that as a compliment. Even so, you couldn’t help but fall for him. His crimson hair, those ruby eyes…
You remember accompanying him to the Dawn Winery for a new batch of dandelion wine shipment to the Angel’s Share. All you can remember is the sweet and genuine smile he gave to the head housemaid, Adelinde. It melted your heart and you knew you’d do anything for him to look at you with any expression similar.
From what you gathered, Adelinde had helped raise him and Kaeya from their younger years, so that would explain the fondness. But still, after that discovery, nothing you tried ever got the same result. Bringing him lunch, greeting him with a sweet smile, even hugging him didn't seem to do anything but make his expression tense and cheeks tint ever so slightly. Clearly you had to aim higher.
And so, when a patron had approached you one night while Diluc was serving as bartender in place of Charles, drink in hand and a flirty tone in their voice, you smirked playfully. If you couldn’t get the expression you wanted, you could at least try for a different reaction out of him. You persisted in talking to the drunken patron, holding back a laugh when you noticed Diluc looking over a few times.
After a while, Diluc surprised you by intervening in your conversation. Definitely a more direct response than you had expected but you still felt smug about getting anything.
“Ahem, if you’ll excuse us,” he said with a rather irritated smile before grabbing your wrist and dragging you into the wine cellar. You nearly jumped out of your skin when he firmly grabbed you by the shoulders and pressed you against the wall, a shiver running up your spine when you looked up at him. Those usually calm ruby eyes were now infuriated, glaring down at you with a certain twist of jealousy. You shivered and that smug smirk on your face quickly dissipated.
“What the hell are you doing out there?” He said, venom in his voice, though not aimed at you. You stammered, realizing that maybe this was a little more than a meager “reaction”. Before you could say another word, you felt his hand snake around your waist and the other tipping your chin up, sealing his lips on yours. It’s rather gentle despite his clear irritation, but still enough to tell you how he felt on this matter. When he pulled away just to lean into your ear, however…
“Nightingale..” he spoke into your ear in a possessive tone. You could feel your legs giving out.
≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫
~Kaeya
Kaeya was a flirt. You knew that, of course you knew- everyone knew! It was practically impossible with all the compliments he’s given you since meeting you. You figured he did this with everyone, that he did it either as a way to make a name for himself as a romantic interest for the people in Mondstat to gossip about, or just to fuck with people. But after a while, you realized that you were his main victim when it came to flirty behaviors.
It started off normal- occasionally teasing, random compliments, basically all the actions that would be considered an attempt on someone’s good graces. However, it slowly morphed into more than that.
He would buy you flowers at random, and when you questioned him about it, he would just smile and say you deserved it or that you looked like you needed some that day. He’d bring you treats and hold the door open for you whenever you walked somewhere together. He’d even go so far as to have someone deliver a lavish dinner to you on the nights he couldn’t take you personally. It was the smaller gestures that eventually got to you.
A while after this started, you realized that no one else seemed to return his advances. He had earned his flirty reputation early on and no one thought he was genuine (which in most cases, he wasn’t) but for some reason, you felt his actions toward you were different in a way.
Once some nights of pondering had passed, you decided to act on this. Just a small return of romanticism would be fine, right? You were curious to see how he’d react. If he’d try to advance further or just be shocked from the reciprocation.
Your opportunity ultimately came when he came close to you and tucked a strand of your hair back behind your ear, complimenting your eyes and to keep your hair back so he could see them clearly. This obviously made you blush a bit, but almost without thinking, you cupped his face. No leaning in, no backing away. Just a still, soft touch.
His eyes widened a bit and his shoulders tensed, and you seemed happy with even that small of a reaction… but his eyes fluttered, now half lidded as he began leaning close. You nearly had a stroke at this point, now closer than you had ever been. Your breath hitched when he smiled softly, turning his head to kiss your palm before leaning even closer.
“What are you doing there, my lily? Perhaps you want me closer or are you tugging at my heartstrings for nothing~?” He said. You said screw it and met him halfway, straightening your posture when his hands pulled you closer at your upper back to keep your lips on his for a while longer.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
~Venti
Venti was honestly the sweetest guy you’d ever met. There was something so alluring about him that you never quite understood, but you knew it was there, nonetheless. He asked you to go out with him early in your friendship, leading to romantic feelings developing faster than you ever thought possible. He was just so sweet to you, giving you every ounce of his attention with that silly smile you loved.
Often times, he’d bring you up to one of the big windmills in the city, laughing all the way up as you both knew you shouldn’t be up there. Still, the view was too astonishing to see just a few times. He would take you up here almost daily just to spend time with you away from people.
When it came to physical affection, he was practically all over you, keening with that little smirk he always wore, but with a soft look in his eyes that always told you he was genuine. He would hold your hand or bother you for a hug, not that you’d cared. Still, you found it a little strange after 3 months of dating that he hadn’t once tried to initiate a kiss with you- considering how his love language was obviously physical touch. How peculiar.
One night, while up on the windmill balcony, he suddenly reached for your hand and stood up. He smiled as you took his with barely any hesitation. Venti came close to you, scooping you up in his arms before he used the power of Anemo to fly you up to the statue of Barbatos. At first, you yelped in surprise and then in horror as you looked down. Frankly, you didn’t know he could do such a thing.
Venti just laughed and soothed your worries, gently putting you down in the statue’s hands before the Anemo around him vanished as quickly as it appeared. You both watched the sun set, while you precariously watched your footing to hand sure you didn’t fall over the edge of the statue’s hands. After a while, you felt Venti’s touch lifting your head to look out at the city, now glowing in lights as the sun vanished over the horizon and the moon made a grand entrance above. You gasped at the sight, and you heard Venti’s soft laughter of admiration.
“Beautiful, isn’t it Windblume?”
You could barely reply with a yes from being so speechless before Venti took your hands and faced you. The look in his eyes nearly made you melt- an expression like you were the only person in the world for him.
“I’ve been wanting to bring you here for a while… but I didn’t know how you’d react. Do you… like it..?” You nodded, smiling at him.
He also smiled in return leaning closer to you.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
And with that, he kissed you. It was gentle, sweet. Like you were fragile glass in his arms and he wanted to keep you together. Safe to say, the two of you weren’t going anywhere for a while.
-Written by Booh <3
#Albedo#albedo x reader#genshin impact#genshin x reader#wholesome#fluff#Albedo using the nickname Snowflake#Diluc#diluc ragnvindr#diluc x reader#genshin diluc#diluc ragnivindr x reader#Diluc using the nickname Nightingale#Kaeya#kaeya alberich#genshin kaeya#kaeya x reader#kaeya ragnvindr#Kaeya using the nickname Lily#Venti#venti x reader#genshin venti#genshin impact venti#Venti using the nickname Windblume#I should be doing homework right now#This took forever to finish#Why does writer’s block exist#Kinich and Ajaw next#Holy crap it’s almost October
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Some things can only be cultivated under pretenses [Satoru Gojo x Fem! Reader]
Summary: You were eight years old again, hiding from Satoru's parents in his treehouse. "Then you can marry me, silly!" You sat bolt upright. "Marry me!"
Author's Notes: My first ever anime/manga fic, 17.1K words of fake dating/friends to lovers/idiots to lovers that no one asked for!! The fic practically wrote itself. If you’re reading, I hope you enjoy it! Being an American, my knowledge of Japanese language and culture is quite slim. The Japanese honorifics and nicknames I’ve used are meant to be affectionate, but I realize that the relationships themselves may have quite an American slant. I did my best, but if you notice anything off or out of line, please let me know so I can fix it!
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or events from Jujutsu Kaisen
Warnings/tags: non-cursed AU, best friend! Satoru Gojo, fake marriage, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, VERY suggestive content, language, minor character death(s) (past, mentioned), mention of (medical) drug usage, spoilers for/references to episodes 25-29/chapters 65-79, not beta’d!
You’re half asleep in the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the window when you hear a key turn in the door. Groggily, you sit up and rub your eyes, picking up your phone.
“Babe? You home?”
You’ve got a missed text from Satoru that probably explains his otherwise unannounced arrival at your apartment.
“In here,” you call, yawning. His snowy head pokes through the doorway and, despite the wide grin plastered on his face, you can tell something is wrong.
“Sorry to wake you. Are you hungry? I brought ramen.” He’s disappeared into your kitchen but, despite this fabulous announcement, he comes right back around the corner to throw himself dramatically onto the opposite corner of your couch.
Something is definitely wrong.
“Satoru?” You lean forward to touch his elbow, but he throws the arm over his eyes. He mutters something you don’t quite catch. “Say again?”
“It’s finally happened!” he shouts, though the sound is muffled by the hands he’s moved to cover his face. The same hands fly up as his head flies back, long legs kicking up to land on your coffee table with a loud bang. He turns to you with a wild, sarcastic smile. “My parents want me married, and by the end of the year. Or else I forfeit any rights to the family business, the house, my apartment, everything else.”
“Oh, Toru,” you breathe. You feel your heart lodge in the back of your throat before dropping to the ground with a dull thump. He shrugs, not meeting your gaze.
“It doesn’t matter. I can sign over The Amanai Project to Nanami, go back to the Jujutsu Corporation…” But his voice trails off against his will and you’re already shaking your head.
He’d started at the Jujutsu Corporation, a private security company, straight out of university. It’d been good for him- structure and discipline, and a new best friend you’d spent years convincing yourself you weren’t jealous of. You and Satoru hadn’t lost touch, but there were huge gaps in your days where he should have been. Until that new best friend called you from the hospital after a job gone wrong.
Satoru had been hurt, badly. Multiple stab wounds, vicious and tearing. He still had scars from shoulder to hip, and a small one on his forehead from the butt of a gun.
Suguru hadn’t seen it happen; he’d watched their charge die. A bullet to the brain. Quick and clean, unlike the shooter. Satoru had sliced him up before collapsing in a pool of his own blood.
When he woke up, he was different.
You’d worried you’d lost him for good, for different reasons than the wounds, for months. Barely eating, hardly sleeping, withdrawn and absent. Suguru told you that at the girl’s funeral, carrying Riko Amanai’s corpse, Satoru had asked why they didn’t kill the whole family who’d ordered the execution.
Suguru had disappeared not long after, and despite getting your best friend back, you still didn’t quite know why. You didn’t want to bring it up.
You shuddered, remembering how… hollow Satoru had been after the entire incident. Your other friends had wanted you to drop him, offended for your sake that he’d let your friendship slide in the first place, but you’d remained steadfast. Long nights spent holding him, stroking his hair; long days of pulling him gently up to walk, of coaxing him to eat when he had no interest in it; even stripping him down to his boxers to shoulder him into his ridiculously fancy shower, washing his hair in your bathing suit until he halfheartedly pushed you out to wash himself.
He’d been a shell, until he hadn’t. You’d shown up after work, armed with takeout and romcoms, and he’d been gone. You’d panicked, calling Suguru, who didn’t pick up, calling the housekeeper his mother had hired in an effort to keep you away, nearly breaking down and calling his mother. Then he’d barrelled through the door, smiling wide enough to showcase those tiny dimples, gushing about the non-profit he was going to start and the teenagers who’d inspired it.
You sucked in a sharp breath.
“You could lose The Amanai Project.”
He nodded slowly, not meeting your horrified stare.
“That’s why I’d go back to Juju-”
“No,” you hissed. You weren’t prepared for the hopeless look he turned on you. He loved The Amanai Project, he loved the teenagers he worked with. He reached forward, clutching both of your hands in his tightly.
“Then what am I supposed to do?” he pleaded. And then you were eight years old again, hiding from Satoru’s parents in his treehouse.
“They said.”
“Grown-ups always say.”
“What if they make me?”
“They can’t make you!”
He looked at you, much too seriously for an eight year old.
“They made my dad marry my mom. They’ll make me marry someone, too. And then what am I supposed to do?” He crossed his arms, pouting, and grumbled “Don’t wanna get married.”
You grabbed his little hand with your own, beaming with all of the sincerity and cleverness of a child.
“Then you can marry me, silly.”
You sat bolt upright.
“Marry me!” you half-shouted. At Satoru’s flinch back, you apologized softly and lowered your voice. “Marry me,” you repeated. You leaned forward, excitement brewing at the ingenuity of such a simple plan. “We can get married for however long it takes to cement your place in the family business and then get a divorce.” You squeezed his hands. “Whaddya say?”
Satoru spluttered a bit, pulling his hands back to run them through his hair- a nervous habit you hadn’t seen him make since childhood. “Babe, you shouldn’t- we can’t just- I can’t ask you to-”
“You’re not asking me for anything, I offered! Besides, think of all the fun we could have. It’d be just like our sleepovers from when we were kids.” A strange look had crossed Satoru’s face, hesitation and something like pain. You sat a little straighter, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. “U-unless you don’t want to, of course. I just, I thought-”
“It’s a good idea,” he interrupted. He was focused on your hands, intertwined now in your lap. He spoke slowly, measured and thoughtful. “I just don’t want… you know how my parents can be. And what if…” He grimaced. “What if you find someone you want to be with? I don’t want to stand in your way.”
You waved this off airily. “Oh, Toru, you’ll always be part of my life. If I find someone, they’ll just have to accept the situation. Besides, there’s no reason I can’t see someone else, so long as I’m careful. It’s not like we’ll really be married.”
Satoru stood abruptly, pacing to the other side of the room, one hand raised to his chin. He stood, silent, for a long moment. You opened your mouth to say something to fill the suddenly charged space between you, but then he spoke.
“Let me think about it.” And then in a blink, he was gone, takeout forgotten on your countertop, leaving you to blink in the void created by his absence.
——————————————————————
The silence lasted about as long as you’d expected it would. Satoru came crashing into your apartment bright and early the next morning, singing your name. You groaned, rolling over to pick up your phone. 6:48.
You were going to kill him.
“Satoru Gojo!” you yelled, pulling the covers over your head. You heard him skip down the hallway and into your room. If he noticed that you’d used his full name, it didn’t deter him a bit. He flung himself down beside you, dragging you onto his chest, blankets and all.
“My future wife!” he crooned, kissing your covered cheek. “How did you sleep?”
“It’s not even seven.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
You fumbled the blankets off your head, baring your face to the weak sunlight coming in through the open window. “How am I supposed to know how I slept when it’s so early?” You rubbed at your eyes while Satoru laughed heartily, making himself comfortable on your mountain of pillows. You paused. “Did you say future wife?”
His smile widened as he sat up, shifting you from your live body pillow. “Well, yeah. That is if the offer still stands.” He twisted himself off the bed to kneel on the floor, turning you to face him all in one smooth motion. Now he held up a small, black velvet box, which he opened the moment he had your full attention.
A stunning engagement ring glittered up at you, catching all of the light in the room and beaming it upward through the diamond in the center.
You blanched.
“Satoru, what is this? This must have cost a fortune-”
“Easy,” he chuckled, setting the box aside to slide the ring onto your left hand. A perfect fit. “If we’re gonna be married, we’re gonna have to put on a good show. Starting with a beautiful ring worthy of the most beautiful woman in the world.” You hadn’t said a word, dumbstruck as you gazed down at your hand. Satoru spoke more softly now. “What do you think?”
“I think you picked my dream ring,” you breathed. He beamed up at you.
“So does that mean yes?”
“What?” You looked at him sharply, at the hopeful expression he’d turned up to you. “Of course yes, you dork. Remember that this was my idea?”
Satoru launched himself up, bearing you backward onto the bed with his arms around you. “Yay!” he squealed, and then he was kissing your cheek and nuzzling the side of your neck. “I promise to be a good husband,” he mumbled.
You laughed, somewhat breathless. “I wasn’t worried about it.”
You felt his smile curl up against your neck while he squeezed you impossibly tighter. “You were right, we’re gonna have so much fun.”
You were gasping now, struggling to breathe beneath his weight and in his tight grip. “Toru, can’t breathe.”
He let you go with a soft “oops”, shimmying over to lay beside you with his head propped up on one hand. His eyes shone with something you couldn’t quite place, lips curled in a gentle smile as his cerulean gaze trailed lazily over your face. He finally settled on your eyes, sharing the tranquil moment with you before leaping up.
“Oh! I almost forgot!” He careened out of your room and down the hall into your kitchen, returning a moment later with a sly grin. “Close your eyes,” he sing-songed.
“Close m-?”
“Close ‘em, woman!”
With a dramatic sigh, you did. If you hadn’t felt the slight dip in your mattress, you might not have known he’d come back until you felt his hand trace your knee lightly. “Open,” he whispered.
Your vision was flooded with white and green; Satoru held out a colossal bouquet of white roses and eucalyptus, tied with a fat black ribbon.
Your jaw dropped.
Satoru straightened in pleasure. “See, I told you I’d be a good husband!” he crowed.
You swatted at him playfully before taking the roses out of his hands. “Satoru, you know I don’t need all this.”
He gave you a deadpan look. “I have never, never seen any boyfriend spoil you before. I think it’s time someone did.”
You snorted. “You’re gonna ruin me for all other men if you keep it up.”
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he looked pleased by that. But before you could analyze the thought, he reached a hand out to you.
“My lady.”
You laughed out loud, but took the proffered hand and slid out of bed, letting him lead you down the hall. You felt your jaw drop again when you stepped into the kitchen to see a silver tray laid out on your tiny dining table, laden with pastries and fresh fruit and a steaming pot of coffee.
“Consider me ruined,” you mumbled, beelining for the coffee to the sound of Satoru’s raucous laughter. You smiled to yourself, and over your shoulder at him.
This would be fun.
——————————————————————
Reality set in slowly over the course of the next few days, for both of you.
Satoru’s parents were furious, as expected, but enough to call you directly, which was not. After all, they had always refused to acknowledge your existence, as though hoping you might disappear entirely if they ignored you for long enough.
“We know that you’ve always had a bit of trouble staying away, dear, but we had never quite expected this, this…”
“Devotion, ma’am?”
“Parasitic behavior from you!”
Ouch.
“I assure you, Gojo-sama, I’m not marrying your son for money. As you know, we’ve always been close. I’ve always loved him.” All true, as you’d agreed the story should be. The only lie in it lay in the implication of one, tiny word.
If anyone was close enough to spot it, it certainly wouldn’t be his parents.
All the same, his mother groaned and his father scoffed in the background. The elder Gojo’s voice was muffled by distance when he said “Of course she has, but I’d expected Satoru, at least, to outgrow it by now.”
What?
You weren’t given an opportunity to question it, though. Satoru’s mother dismissed you, something about “being in touch” soon. Whatever that meant.
You sat for several long moments, puzzling over that last comment. Outgrow what? His parents couldn’t possibly mean that he’d been in love with you, you would have known. Certainly, you’d had a crush on Satoru for years- your first and most long-standing crush, at that. That must be what they meant. He must’ve had a childhood infatuation, as well. Nothing more.
You shook yourself, content to be back on solid footing, and dialed Satoru’s number by heart. He picked up on the third ring, yelling to one of the teenagers he was training, before greeting you warmly. When you relayed the conversation with his parents, minus that strange comment from his father, you could feel the waves of rage rolling off him through the phone.
“They called you a parasite!?” he shouted, and you heard his students drop their voices to whispers.
“Parasitic, not a parasite.”
“Oh, don’t you bullshit semantics with me,” he seethed. “How dare they, who do they think they are to talk to you that way? I won’t stand for this. They owe you an apology.” You tried to cut in, to reassure him that you were less bothered than you were, in truth, but his tirade went on without any sign of stopping. You could hear him put his phone down, still swearing and half-shouting to himself. You heard something that sounded suspiciously like wood cracking, heard him pick up his phone again, heard the bell on the gym door opening.
“Satoru!” you shouted.
“What!?” he shouted back. You waited patiently as he drew in a deep breath. More calmly, he repeated himself. “What?”
“Don’t give them the satisfaction.”
He was angry enough to sputter, his usual cool, smooth speech long-gone. “They can’t talk to you that way! You’re going to be my wife!”
“Fake wife,” you muttered, half amused and half touched by the vehemence of his outburst.
“That doesn’t matter. You’ve been my best friend forever. It has to stop!”
You sighed. “You know that they’ll only think I’m a whiny, sniveling leech if you say anything.” He was silent, and you could tell from the steady hum of traffic that he’d finally stopped walking. “Go back to your kids.”
“They’re not my kids.” The reply was automatic, an old joke between the two of you about his students. You heard him start walking again, and a moment later, the bell on the door jingled again.
You heard the students perk up, clamoring and calling to him.
“Gojo! Is everything okay?” Yuji Itadori, a selfless orphan with reflexes almost as sharp as Satoru’s. Quick to protect anyone and everyone around him. Heart of gold, worn proudly on his sleeve for all to see.
“Where do you think you’re going? Were you just going to leave us here?” Nobara Kugisaki, a spitfire girl who masked every insecurity with arrogance to rival Satoru’s, though she hadn’t mastered his admirable level of control.
“What crawled up your ass?” Megumi Fushiguro. You didn’t like to pick favorites, but you couldn’t pretend you didn’t hold a special fondness for him. Unflappable, unshakable. Level-headed and calculating. He reminded you of Satoru the most. Maybe that’s why you liked him best.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, the gym would collapse without me in it. Get back to work.” There he was, all smooth edges and silken confidence. Like nothing ever happened. To you, he grumbled, “This isn’t over.”
Once upon a time, you’d believed that nothing could get under his skin. In all your years of friendship, you’d never seen him lose his temper until after the incident. Even since, it was a rare occurrence, but you’d quickly learned how to reel him back. You breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Not over, but over for now.
——————————————————————
One thing you hadn’t put much thought into was telling your parents. They reacted about as you’d expected, though- thrilled to be welcoming their bonus child to the family in an official capacity, “after all these years”.
“Oh, hime, how wonderful! He’s such a sweet boy. I’ll come dress shopping with you!”
Your heart twinged with guilt. Your mother would be heartbroken when you inevitably divorced a year or two down the road.
“Maybe we should tell them,” mused Satoru. He tilted his head back to look up from your lap. “What are the chances that they’ll ever talk to my parents? Or tell anyone else? They can keep a secret.”
You shook your head slowly, focused on a point somewhere past where your fingers threaded through his soft hair. “I think they’d be more heartbroken to hear that we aren’t really in love.”
When Satoru didn’t say anything, you looked down at him. He was staring at you with an expression you couldn’t read, eyes darkening to a rich turquoise. He’d reached up to loop his hand loosely around your wrist without you noticing, stroking the sensitive skin over your pulse. Something about the look in his eyes had you suddenly incapable of thinking of anything but his father’s strange statement.
“I’d expected Satoru, at least, to outgrow it by now.”
You swallowed, hard, scrambling for some way to ask without making everything incredibly awkward. You knew you were just friends. Hearing him say it would settle it once and for all.
“Right,” Satoru drawled. He sat up, rising from the couch. “Better to tell them marriage just wasn’t what we thought.”
Somehow, somewhere, you’d made a wrong turn in this conversation. You weren’t sure what had happened, but something wasn’t right. You were getting to your feet when Satoru turned in the doorway, smirking with that wild spark in his ridiculously blue eyes.
“You probably shouldn’t say it to your parents, but you can tell anyone else who asks that I couldn’t keep up with your appetite.” His smile only widened when you tilted your head in confusion. “Sexually.”
Your mouth dropped open on a gasp of his name, blood flooding your cheeks. His laughter was pealing off your hallway walls by the time you thought to throw the cushion in your hands. It bounced harmlessly off the wall, falling lightly to the floor.
You sprinted down the hallway, raining your fists down on Satoru’s turned back as he laughed, before jumping up and locking one arm around his neck. You used the other to ruffle his hair as he instinctively took hold of your thighs, giving you just enough height to lean over his shoulder and bite the lobe of his ear gently.
You were the one laughing uncontrollably, now, but you didn’t miss his sharp intake of breath or the way he tensed within your hold. Interesting. You tucked that away with every intention of examining it later.
“That’s it!” His voice was slightly hoarse as he spun, racing across the hall to your living room. You shrieked as he wheeled this way and that, his strong grip the only thing keeping you secured to his back. He turned and abruptly released his hold on you, sending you tumbling back onto your couch in a cacophony of giggles.
He turned a smug smile on you. “And with that, no dinner for wifey.”
You let out an indignant squawk, scrambling down the hall after him. Despite his threats, he was spoon-feeding you miso soup within minutes, smiling wide as you stuck out your tongue.
“I’m not telling anyone that,” you muttered.
Satoru nodded sagely. “You’re right, can’t go tarnishing my reputation.”
You let out a loud, undignified guffaw of laughter. “Reputation? You?”
Satoru pulled back indignantly. “You think I don’t have a reputation?” You leveled him with your blankest stare, but he stared right back, one eyebrow quirked up. You found yourself crumbling first, suddenly unsure of yourself. “You have a reputation?”
That broke his stoicism. He cracked a wide grin, looking down to stir his dinner. “Nah, just wanted to watch you squirm.” You both smiled, shoving each other playfully from across the table.
“I’m sure there have been… people though, right?”
Satoru’s head snapped up, eyes almost comically wide in some combination of shock and… nerves?
“What?” he rasped. You caught him with a mouthful of miso – he was probably trying not to choke.
“I mean I’m sure there have been girls, or boys…” you trailed off at the puzzled expression he wore. But now that you’d thought about it, you’d never seen him with anyone, not since high school.
“How did you know I’m bi?”
Not the question you’d been expecting.
“Satoru,” you deadpanned. “Do you remember when you got caught kissing Yoshio Kiyama under the bleachers in sixth grade?”
A faint blush rose in his pale cheeks. “Oh, right.”
“Yeah, genius, I’m the one who found you?” You started laughing, memories of your eleven year-old self bubbling to the surface. “I remember I was so disappointed, but then you asked out Akiko Hoshino for the school dance and I-” You stopped speaking abruptly, horrified at your partial admission, and prayed to the gods that Satoru wouldn’t notice.
Of course where the gods were concerned, Satoru would always find favor.
You swore you could see his ears perk up. “Disappointed, huh?”
“I didn’t mean to say that,” you mumbled.
“Oh no no, you’re not getting out of this one.” He stood, coming around to your side of the table and pulling you up. Then he sat in your chair, dragging you unceremoniously down onto his lap. “Disappointed why?”
You threw your hands up in exasperation, turning your face away. “Because I had a crush on you, Satoru! We were eleven years old and I had a crush and I thought you only liked boys and so I was disappointed that I wouldn’t have a chance with you. But then you asked out Akiko Hoshino, so then I knew that you liked boys and girls.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“And then you pined away for me for the month that I dated Akiko, right?” he crooned, obviously delighted.
You scoffed, but felt your throat closing slightly. “No, then I got over you.”
Satoru’s jaw dropped. “That fast, huh?”
“Yeah, it was pretty quick.”
He released you in favor of clapping his hands to his heart, head thrown back.
“My darling wife, you wound me so!” he cried. You laughed, tapping your ring finger.
“That’s fiancé to you, I’m not your wife yet.”
He sat back up, grinning. “Soon enough.” His cerulean eyes glittered in a way that sparked something deep inside you, excitement and anticipation lighting in your veins.
“Two,” he murmured.
You blinked. “Two what?”
“Two people.” He reached up to smooth a stray hair from your face, a gesture so tender that your breath caught. “One boy, one girl. And now, you.”
“Well, sort of.” You meant to be teasing, but it came out shakier than you meant. What was happening to you?
And there was that unreadable expression, paired with the slightest of smiles. “Yeah, sort of.”
——————————————————————
“I don’t think you’re supposed to get to see the dress.”
Satoru whines from the other end of the phone. “Why nooot? I’m paying for it, aren’t I?”
Despite your mother’s wish to come dress shopping with you, she’d been unable to make the journey. Despite his protests, she couldn’t bear to leave your father alone. He needed her too much after his accident; slow and unsteady on his best days, bedridden on his worst. So you’d settled on FaceTime instead. Now the four of you were on a call together- you, your parents, and Satoru- as you made your way down the busy Tokyo street to your car.
“You know I don’t actually have the dress with me, right?” you said wryly. Satoru’s confused outburst blended with your mother‘s tinkling laughter, tugging at the little girl deep under your skin. You felt your lips curve up in an involuntary smile.
“Patience, bocchan. You’ll see her on your wedding day.”
“That’s so far, though!” whined Satoru.
“It’s only another month, my dear! So eager.” You heard your father chuckling in the background, making some muffled statement about your parents’ traditional, long engagement. Your mother murmured something sweet back to him, but when she spoke into the phone again, her voice was filled with mischief. “Are you sure you’re not pregnant, hime?”
“M-mother!” you sputtered. On the other end, Satoru howled with laughter. All the same, he composed himself much more quickly than you.
“Okan, no. That would be impossible. I’ve been a perfect gentleman! Besides, we’re not even living together.
“Oh!” Your mother seemed genuinely surprised. “Well no, I suppose neither of you have said that you are. I see that I simply assumed…”
“Actually, we haven’t discussed the living situation yet.” You leapt on the opportunity to change the subject, still trying to get your breathing under control. For some reason you couldn’t quite pin down, your mother‘s joke had left your heart racing long after the shock should’ve worn off.
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make either of you uncomfortable, we’re just so exc-”
You and Satoru cut her off simultaneously, talking over each other to assure her that she hadn’t.
“We’ll just move into your place, right babe?”
You stopped walking. “Satoru, why would we move into my shitty apartment when yours is twice the size?”
“Because your place is so much cozier!”
Then there was an almighty crash and Satoru began swearing. A moment later, after making his apologies to your mother, he was saying he loved you and hanging up. Your heart raced a bit, even as you giggled with your mother over “his kids”.
As you walked up to your car, you heard your father ask for a glass of water. “Oh, dear, look at the time. I’m sorry my darling, but I need to go. I have to leave now if I want to get to the bank before it closes, and then I have to go to the shops, and then I have to make dinner…”
You smiled to yourself, sliding behind the wheel of your beaten old sedan. “Have a good night, mama. I’ll talk to you soon.”
You turned the key in the ignition and looked at your watch. Satoru’s class would be ending soon. You could spend that time doing errands, washing your car, or even tidying up your apartment. But you felt lazy and lightweight and you hadn’t seen the kids in some time.
With a smile, you drove to the juice shop you and Satoru liked, ordering the too-sweet strawberry smoothie he loved and something new for yourself to try. After only a second’s hesitation, you picked out an assortment of treats, putting everything on Satoru’s card. Today, for the kids, you’d let him spoil you.
Arms filled with sweets and smoothies, you managed to get from the shop to your car and your car to The Amanai Project. The gym was housed in a metal and concrete building on the border of one of the poorer neighborhoods in the city. Posters advertising free self-defense classes, public safety seminars, and charity races papered the windows beside a much more understated plaque offering pro bono legal counsel for kids victimized by violent crime.
Every time you came here, you couldn’t squelch the feeling of your heart growing several sizes. You were just trying to decide how best to manage the door when it swung open. Kento Nanami, Satoru’s somewhat business partner and the lawyer offering his services, held it wide and nodded a greeting as you shimmied through.
“Thanks, Nanami. How are you?”
“I’d be better if I didn’t have to deal with that crazy man,” he grumbled, and you couldn’t help but laugh. “I hear congratulations are in order, though.”
Startled, you felt heat rise to your cheeks. “O-oh, yes, thank you so much!”
He nodded again, turning to step through the doorway, but paused. “You’re good for him, and you’ll be good for each other.” With that, he turned again and left you staring at the swinging door. That was as much a speech as you’d ever heard out of Nanami, but you didn’t have time to digest it.
Kugisaki shrieked your name, abandoning her training to race across the room to you. Her squeals drew the attention of everyone else in the room, too. Itadori looked up from where he stood patching a hole in the wall, dropping the putty knife he was wielding into a can of spackle, and made to run toward you before Satoru’s sharp voice cut him off.
“Itadori!”
“Aww, Gojo, I’ll fix it in a second!”
You giggled at the interaction. Clearly, the source of the sound Satoru had hung up for.
Fushiguro nodded politely at you from his place in the ring, taking advantage of your arrival to gulp down a bottle of water.
And then there was the man himself, lifting the blindfold he used when he sparred- “to help him hone his senses”. His eyes looked bluer than ever against the black and white contrast of material and hair. He smiled when he saw you, looking surprised but immeasurably pleased.
Then Kugisaki was shoveling everything out of your arms, extending her hands to grasp yours. “Let’s see this ring!”
At that, Itadori did drop the putty knife, tuning Satoru’s warnings out with admirable success. Even Fushiguro sauntered over, hands tucked into his pockets, to lean down. You locked eyes with Satoru, cheeks warming under the kids’ attention.
Kugisaki and Itadori took turns bouncing on the balls of their feet, shrieking, alternating between hugging you and each other. Fushiguro studied the ring and then turned back to the ring, tossing a genuinely impressed “Nice job, Gojo” over his shoulder. Satoru sidled up to you, snaking an arm around your waist to draw you close enough that he could kiss your cheek.
He was still smiling at you when Itadori shouted. “Hey Gojo, what was that? You gotta kiss her for real!”
Satoru whirled. “What!?”
“Yeah, kiss her for real!” squealed Kugisaki. She and Itadori swatted at each other in excitement, eyes glued to you and Satoru.
He pointed menacingly at them both. “You little pervs-”
“You can’t shut up about her all day, and now that she’s here you won’t even kiss her?” You laughed at the deadpan stare Fushiguro gave his teacher, highly amused by the entire ordeal.
With a rush of boldness, you grasped Satoru’s collar, turning him to face you, and pulled him down to your mouth. A bolt of electricity shot through you when your lips touched, and if Satoru’s muffled gasp was any indication, he wasn’t unaffected either. The kiss was brief, a slide of lips that was over much too soon, and then you were releasing him. You heard Kugisaki squealing, a loud clap as Itadori and Fushiguro high-fived each other, their thrilled chatter; it all faded to the background as you looked at Satoru.
Eyes half-lidded, color high in his cheeks, he seemed unable to catch his breath. He stood, still bent to your height, staring at your lips. You felt heat rising in your own cheeks, boldness entirely dissipated as you wondered whether you’d crossed some line or other. His tongue darted out to swipe his lips. The tittering in the background was quickly dying. You’d expected Satoru to have some ready quip, to turn and showboat for his students. It was becoming increasingly obvious that you’d have to be the one to act.
Thinking fast, you reached over to the counter where Kugisaki had dumped the haul you’d brought, fumbling a smoothie into Satoru’s frozen hands. You pasted a smile on and patted his cheek, turning to the collection of treats.
“Alright, you hooligans, I brought something for you. Courtesy of Gojo Sensei.”
The boisterous sounds of teenagers started up just as quickly as they’d stopped, with Itadori and Kugisaki fighting over who got first pick of the sweets. Fushiguro waited patiently for the other two to dispense with their theatrics, picking up a sweet roll with a quiet word of thanks. You waved it off as you raised your smoothie to your lips, flinching when you tasted how overwhelmingly sweet it was. You turned to find Satoru standing behind you, holding out your smoothie. Besides a slight dusting of pink across the tops of his cheeks, he seemed entirely composed again.
“Sorry,” you murmured, trading cups with him.
He quirked an eyebrow at you as he raised his smoothie to his mouth. Slowly, deliberately, he licked the side of his straw, finally drawing it into his mouth. He took several long swallows, holding your gaze unwaveringly as he did. Something about the action seemed intimate, provocative, and it was heating your insides. What on earth was happening to you?
“Oh, please.” His voice was lower than usual, husky. “Don’t be.”
——————————————————————
For once, you wound up at Satoru’s apartment. He’d walked you to your car, only half a lot away from his, only to find that it wouldn’t start. Why drive across town to your place, only to need a ride back in the morning to meet the tow truck, when you could simply stay the night with him? You had your laptop, there was no reason you couldn’t work from his home office the next day while he was away at family business meetings.
As he unlocked the front door, you tried to remember the last time you’d been here, rather than having him over to your shabby, cramped shoebox. You never could quite put your finger on why, but he loved your place. Cozy, he’d called it. And you guessed it was, in comparison.
He flipped on the light, the sound echoing down the hall, and stepped over the threshold, gesturing for you to step inside. You toed off your shoes, padding through the house to the kitchen. Satoru followed, stripping off his jacket and the blindfold he’d been wearing like a headband.
“I don’t think there’s much in the fridge, but we can order takeout. You remember where the menus are?”
“Of course.” You opened the right-most drawer in the island, withdrawing a stack of takeout menus with a grin.
Satoru grinned right back. “Order whatever you want, pick something good for me. I’m going to take a shower real quick.” You hummed as he dropped his wallet on the counter, thumbing through the worn pages before you.
When Satoru had first moved into this apartment, his mother had hired a maid and a chef. Only the best for her precious son, you thought wryly. Satoru hadn’t been having it. He’d been polite to them, of course, but kept an impeccable house with nothing for the maid to clean, and ordered takeout every night, leaving the chef’s meals untouched in the refrigerator before insisting she take them home herself. When his mother had shown up to scold him, he’d listened patiently to her lecture and then promptly changed the locks.
You grinned at the memory, but it was short-lived. Your thoughts drifted to the time after he’d come home from the hospital, silent and uninterested in food, keeping a clean house, or anything else. His mother had hired a housekeeper again, insisting that your presence was unnecessary. In spite of her cold words and colder attitude, you’d stuck around, trying to get Satoru to take an interest in… anything.
He’d lost so much weight in those months.
You shook yourself out of your spiraling thoughts. Whatever had prompted him, he’d bought the gym for The Amanai Project, sent the housekeeper home with her next month’s pay, a bouquet of flowers, and his thanks, and changed the locks all in one day.
His mother had been furious.
That thought made you smile, despite yourself.
You heard the shower start, picked a menu at random, and called the number. You ordered enough sushi to feed a small army- an assortment of maki and uramaki rolls, nigiri, sashimi, miso soup, and two servings of deep-fried bananas- and smiled when you opened Satoru’s wallet to a picture of the two of you.
You made a circuit of the apartment while you waited. It looked just like it had the last time you’d been here, neat and bare. You walked into the home office, the only room with any personality, and smied at the photos scattered over the walls and shelves. You and Satoru as children, as teenagers at prom together, beaming together on the day you’d both graduated university; photos of him standing with his parents and grandparents, more serious than you were used to seeing him; and then, another photo, tucked behind several others. You stopped to pick it up.
Satoru, Shoko, and Suguru sat in a line, all beaming at the camera. Satoru’s arm reached around Shoko’s back, hand resting on Suguru’s shoulder. You could hardly see his eyes behind the dark glasses he wore, but you thought his eyes might’ve been on Suguru.
You swallowed back a painful lump in your throat. You’d lied when you said your crush on Satoru had been over quickly. It had lasted well into your teenage years, only abating when you assumed Suguru had taken your place as his best friend. Tall, handsome, charming Suguru with his smooth voice, soft smile, and never putting up with Satoru’s shit. That was until he disappeared, right when Satoru became a shell.
You knew the events were related, but you’d never found the courage to ask. Now, looking at this photo, you wondered what had happened to him. You wondered what had happened to Shoko, too. You knew she and Satoru still spoke from time to time, but they’d been closer before. Jealousy pricked at your heart before you stomped it ruthlessly out.
It had been a silly crush, nothing more. You were best friends. That was everything you wanted, everything you needed, and more than you could say for the other two.
You scolded yourself for being uncharitable, returning the picture frame to its place on the shelf before stalking from the office to Satoru’s bedroom.
The bed was perfectly made, unrumpled and unslept in. You realized with a jolt that the last time you’d been in his bedroom had been during those awful months, two years ago. You scowled lightly, turning back to the living room, and noticed for the first time that the larger couch looked slightly rumpled, with a throw blanket haphazardly hanging from the back- the only item out of place in the whole apartment.
In the bathroom, the tap turned off. You darted out of the bedroom, opting to sit at the kitchen island, watching the city lights from the picture window. It couldn’t have been more than two minutes before you could feel Satoru behind you, even though you hadn’t heard him approach.
When you turned, he was smiling softly at you.
“Have you been sleeping on the couch?”
You knew you’d shocked him by the smile he flipped up. “Whaaat? No, of course no-”
“Toru.”
He glares at you, but doesn’t answer. He’s saved by the doorbell, which he bolts to answer.
You let out a breath, turning to the fridge to get drinks. You pull out two bottles of tea, along with a glass and a container of honey for Satoru. He’s laying out your feast, eyes pointedly on the food.
You decide not to push the issue. For now.
“I left some clothes for you in the bathroom,” he says.
“Thank you,” you hum. “I’ll shower as soon as we’re done here.”
He hums in return, mouth already filled with food, then swallows. “Sorry about the kids,” he says.
You grin. “Sorry for rocking your world.”
A strange look passes over his features, and when he speaks, you get the feeling that he’s not saying what he had intended to. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re not that good.” The words drip with his customary, good-natured arrogance, complete with the full-blown smirk you’ve only ever seen on him. He winks, making you laugh, but there’s some tiny part of you that’s oddly wounded by this.
He’s returned his focus to his meal, but then he looks up at you from under his stark, white lashes. His voice is softer, more sincere when he speaks again.
“We should practice.”
And for a moment, the absurdity of the statement is so intense that you can’t, won’t understand him.
“Practice what?”
“Kissing.” He says it so calmly, so matter-of-fact, like it’s the most normal thing in the world to say.
You choke on your tea.
“We should practice kissing,” you drone back.
Satoru throws his hands in the air. “Exactly! I’m glad you agree.” When you continue to stare, he chuckles, going back to his food. “I think the gig would be up if something like that happened in front of our wedding guests.”
And after a moment’s contemplation, you have to admit that he’s right. You hadn’t considered the way you’d appear to onlookers. Years and years of close friendship had you comfortable with each other, in each others’ space, and you knew you’d look genuine to anyone close enough to see you, because your affection for each other was genuine. You and Satoru had always been touchy- leaning on each other or holding hands, arms around each other or brushing when you walked or talked. Physical closeness was natural to you both.
But kissing each other was not natural, you told yourself. Even as your mind unhelpfully reminded you that it had felt quite natural to lean up and press your lips to his. You blinked away the memory, pasting on a smile to hide your unease at the way your heartbeat sped.
“Oh yeah, I’d expected a smoother recovery from you,” you teased. “What did the kids have to say about that?”
He grumbled something that sounded distinctly like “lovesick fool”, but when you asked for Satoru to repeat himself, he said “They said it was so cool.”
You giggled. “It’s ‘cause they’ve never seen anyone shut you up.”
He lay a hand against his heart. “It’s because they never believe me when I say the ladies love me. Victory has never tasted so sweet.” You laughed, Satoru smiled, and what little tension had managed to build dissipated.
You stood to stretch. “I’ll make us breakfast tomorrow if you do the dishes.”
Satoru scoffed. “I have a perfectly good dishwasher, and we both know I’ll be up way before you.”
You stuck your tongue out, earning you a snicker. “I’m going to shower.” Satoru waved you off, stuffing the last of his deep-fried bananas into his mouth as he brushed off his hands. You padded into the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and stripped off your clothes once the door shut behind you. Stepping into the shower, you let the scalding water soothe your muscles as your mind kicked into overdrive.
Practice kissing Satoru Gojo. Something pooled low in your belly, something hungry and molten.
You knew, logically, that having the friendship with him that you do put you in a position most girls would be wildly envious of. You’d always known that, even if it hadn’t affected you. So why is it affecting you now?
You knew, logically, that Satoru is insanely attractive. You’d seen it firsthand countless times over the years. Any time you’d go out together, you could feel jealous stares on you, even if Satoru never noticed. It used to make you feel somewhat smug, and somewhat guilty, as though your presence could keep away the girl he was meant to have. You would tease him, shamelessly mocking the fluttering lashes and starry eyes turned his way. So why did you feel so starry-eyed yourself?
You knew, logically, that this was a good and smart plan. His parents would be looking for any sign that this marriage was less than what it seemed, and it was wise to cover your bases. You just had to think about it intellectually. Just had to remember that it was all part of the trick.
Dressing in his boxers and sweats and a shirt two sizes too big, you step into his bedroom to see him reclining on the bed, face flushed and chest heaving, and all wisdom deserts you.
His eyes are closed. He’s got one muscled arm propped behind his head, while the long fingers of his other hand stroke that damn blindfold thoughtfully. He turns and pierces you with that blue gaze, eyes darker than usual, and inclines his head slightly as he takes in a deep breath. His eyes rake you from head to toe, taking in the way you swim in his clothes. You pad toward the bed, crawling over the expanse of it until you lay next to him, hands laced nervously over your stomach.
He sits up to place the blindfold on the nightstand, then rolls so that he’s hovering over you. “Shall we?” he murmurs. His voice is velvet, soft and rough, and intellectual thought becomes more difficult as you try to remember the last time you kissed anyone before today.
You nod. It feels stiff, and you hope that he doesn’t notice. Hell, of course he notices. You hope that he can’t see why you’re so uptight, and do your best to tuck away your racing thoughts so that you can’t examine them either.
He raises his free hand to brush his knuckles over your cheek, touch so feather-soft that you could’ve almost imagined it. You don’t know which of you moved first, but you’re inexplicably closer to each other now, noses nearly touching. Satoru’s warm, sweet breath ghosts over your lips. His luminescent eyes scan your face, searching for… what? you wonder breathlessly.
It’s an agonizingly long moment in which your traitorous brain chants kisshimkisshimkisshim.
“Relax,” he whispers, and you let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.
His lips brush yours, lighter than his fingertips on your jaw. Then again, with the barest hint of pressure. You’ve only just begun, but your heart is already pounding. Satoru kisses you a third time and the trick is all but forgotten.
He moves his lips slowly, carefully against yours. You exercise every last ounce of restraint to move as slowly, as carefully as he does. Gentle as this is, your lungs are burning for air by the time he pulls back, only far enough so that you can both gulp down the warm air between you. He shifts so that his body partially covers yours before descending again. This time, in addition to the soft pressure, his tongue slides delicately over your bottom lip.
Forgetting yourself, you grip the front of his t-shirt, dragging him down so suddenly that he grunts, mouth parting to allow your tongue to explore. You run it along the back of his teeth, the inside of his bottom lip, sliding it against his as he presses into your mouth for his turn.
His tongue is slow, gentle, as he maps the inside of your mouth. The hand that’s not propping him up is on your neck now, thumb across the front of your throat, caressing the flesh there. You begin to lose patience, unable to grasp how unaffected he is by this when you’re so close to abandoning your dignity for more, more, more.
With as much self-control as you can muster, you slide one hand around his side under his shirt. His breath catches. Your hands must be cold. You use your grip on his shirt and his waist to pull until he loses his balance, body pressed against you for one short, blissful moment. Your eyes shoot open, meeting a roiling ocean as your hips meet and you feel something hard against your inner thigh. Wait, is he…?
He lifts himself so that he hovers over you, body too far away now for you to confirm what you thought you felt. He kisses you several times in quick succession, lighter than before, as he holds himself up over you. You wonder if you’re imagining the quiver in his limbs; you must be.
Then he pulls back with a crazed smile that doesn’t touch his eyes. His cheeks flame and his blown pupils snap with something you don’t have a name for.
“Well that was much better,” he says. Then you blink and he’s up, sitting on the side of the bed for just a second before standing up. He walks out of the room and you’re left reeling, lifting a hand to your swollen lips.
What just happened?
Anxiety is beginning to build before he’s back in the doorway with a glass of water in hand. He hits the lightswitch before coming in, hiding himself from your searching eyes in the gloom, backlit by the lamp in the living room.
“Here,” he says, handing you the glass. You sit up and take it from his hands, draining the whole thing to wash the addictive taste of him out of your mouth enough to concentrate. It hardly works.
He’s halfway across the room before you realize it, and you find panic flooding your chest again.
“Wait!” you call. He stops, turning so that you can just make out his profile in the dark.
You feel tongue-tied. Against your will, you remember the way you felt at eleven, at fourteen, at sixteen, unable to speak or move or breathe around him, so in awe of his presence.
This would be a really, really bad time for those feelings to resurface.
But you can’t seem to stop them.
“What?” You must have been quiet for too long, because his voice is tinged with worry.
You scramble for any coherent thought.
“Where are you going?”
You see him raise a hand to the back of his neck, a nervous gesture startlingly like one the boy from your scrambled thoughts makes.
“The couch. I figured you could sleep in the bed, and I-”
“You should stay,” you cut off. After what had just happened, after knowing what it felt like to kiss him, if you’d put any thought into anything else first, you’d have never gotten the words out.
But you couldn't think. Not now, not with the taste of him on your tongue. Regardless of your mounting fear and his being the source, you couldn’t bear for him to be away from you. Not now.
Satoru didn’t say anything. He stood frozen, and again, you began to wonder whether some invisible boundary had been crossed.
Maybe this was why friends didn’t kiss each other.
Shame and nerves choked you. You shouldn’t have touched him, shouldn’t have embarrassed him like that. Of course it was natural for his thoughts to wander, it certainly had nothing to do with you. A natural response, nothing mo-
“Okay.”
You let out a breath and the pounding in your ears subsided. He left the room, returning after flipping off the light in the living room, and lowered himself gently into the bed. He stretched out on his back, hands at his sides, and you lowered yourself to the cushions with yours tucked to your chest.
The silence was deafening. You weren’t used to it, banter flowing easily from both sides for all your lives.
You turned abruptly, unable to bear it any longer.
“Toru, what happened? With Suguru? And with Shoko?”
He sucked in a breath from his place across the bed. You worried again, as was becoming too common, that you shouldn’t have spoken. He didn’t speak for so long that you thought he wouldn't answer you, and then you started to worry that he’d call off the whole fake wedding or, worse, your whole friendship.
You’d never asked, too afraid of sending him spiralling off the precipice and losing him entirely. But you were so off-balance from the raging storm of your emotions that you couldn’t stop yourself.
“Amanai died.”
You counted several beats before speaking. “I know that part,” you said softly. “Suguru was with her when she was shot, right?”
A long pause. “Yeah.”
“And you were outside.”
“Yeah.”
“Satoru, it wasn’t your fault.”
“We were arrogant.” There was self-loathing dripping from the words. “We shouldn't have assumed the estate would be safe ground.”
You squeezed your eyes shut. This had been a mistake. Damn your curiosity, you should never have dredged this up.
“I wanted… I killed that guy, the shooter.” You’d known, but the jolt that went through you reminded you that he’d never actually said it out loud. Not to you. “And I wanted to kill the whole group of them, that whole family that ordered the execution. Everyone who stood there, applauding that a fifteen year-old girl was dead. And I would have snapped and done it if Suguru hadn’t stopped me.”
Your heart constricted painfully. Suguru had said, but you hadn’t realized it had been so serious. Satoru let out a long sigh. Subconsciously, you reached out to loop your fingers through his. He squeezed gently.
“Remember the week after the funeral, that day I left you here? When Shoko called?” You nodded. You’d handed him the phone when Shoko asked, watching wordlessly as he stalked out, and then sat in his apartment, drowning in terror until he’d walked back through the door, silent as when he’d left. He turned to you now. Even in the dark, you could make out the faint gleam of his eyes. “Sorry for scaring you, back then,” he whispered. You reached your other hand out to lay it on his chest.
He took in another deep breath. “Suguru went out on a job. He was supposed to bring some guy in for questioning.” You waited with bated breath for him to say the words you didn’t want to hear. “He killed him.”
You sat up, peering down through the darkness. “What?”
“He killed him. Told the board that it was self-defense, but Shoko and I knew it wasn’t. He confessed it to her, and she told me.” You sat in stunned silence. This was so much worse than you’d imagined it could be.
“And you?” Satoru said nothing. Dread pricked your spine. “You… you wanted to…”
“I didn’t, though.” He’d tensed, as though he expected you to draw away at any moment. “Shoko had already built a case against him when she called me. She just needed a confession. So I got it. Even if I thought that it wasn’t fair.”
You scooted the tiniest bit closer. “Not fair?”
Satoru looked at you out of the corner of his eye, seeming to consider his next words. “That he found the absolution he denied me.”
You considered that. “Did you ever find it?” you finally asked. “Absolution?”
He seemed to hold his breath. “I think so,” he said softly. You nodded, and for long minutes, you each sat lost in thought under the cover of darkness. Then, when sleep pressed you down, you closed the last distance between you to lay your head on his chest. You felt Satoru start before carefully wrapping an arm around you. And maybe you were already dreaming, but you thought you felt him press a gentle kiss to your temple.
You wondered again if you were dreaming when you woke, warm and comfortable. You blinked yourself awake, squinting at the clock across the room. Too early. You flopped your head back down and then froze when the arm around your waist pulled you back against a feverish body.
Satoru.
You raised your head, blinking at the clock again in disbelief. Satoru was always up at the crack of dawn. 7:45 was not late, but most days he’d already be out and about. Carefully, so as not to wake him, you turned your head. His brilliant white hair flopped over his eyes, making him look vulnerable. Young, so like the little boy you’d said you’d marry all those years ago.
You smiled at the memory and rested your head back on your pillow. You looked at the clock. 7:46. You’d let him sleep until 8:00. You began to snuggle backward and froze.
You could feel Satoru’s length pressed against the curve of your butt. For one, heartstopping moment, you let yourself melt back. Then you were berating yourself.
He was asleep, nothing more. No man woke up in bed with any girl without a hard-on and it had nothing to do with you.
The moment you broke contact, that arm tightened again, drawing you back more firmly. You muffled a groan, letting your eyes slide shut.
A really, really bad time for those feelings to resurface again, you thought dryly, heart speeding against your ribcage. You glanced up. 7:47.
You couldn’t lay here like this for thirteen minutes. You’d just have to slide out from his grasp and hope you didn’t wake him.
Just before you moved though, Satoru breathed in deeply. His arms tightened around you again, one hand lowering to your hip to press you back against him. You held your breath as he nuzzled the side of your neck.
“Hey, baby,” he murmured, voice thick with sleep. He curled further around you, molding your body against his. It made you feel weak. “What time is it?”
You turned to the clock again, cheeks burning. “7:48.”
“Shit!” Satoru flew up, making it from the far side of the bed to the bathroom in one fluid motion. The door slammed and you stared at it for a moment before you started to giggle. Well, so much for breakfast.
It’s 7:51 when the bathroom door flies open to reveal Satoru in all his shirtless glory, muscles rippling as he tears through his closet, toothbrush clenched between his teeth. Then it’s back to the bathroom, door not quite shut, and you have to make yourself turn away from the sliver of pale skin you can see through the crack. You hear him spit, then the door swings open again. 7:53. He’s fumbling the last few buttons on his shirt, long legs carrying him to the mirror in the corner.
“Sorry, babe, I have an errand I have to run before the meeting this morning.” He runs a hand through his hair, turning his head side to side, and then spins and walks toward you. “Tow company will be here to pick you up at nine.” He bends down, planting his hands on either side of your shoulders, and kisses you passionately before sprinting out the door. “Call me if they give you any trouble!”
The front door slams, and seven minutes after waking up, the whirlwind that is your best friend storms out the front door. You raise a hand unconsciously to your lips.
What in the world?
By the time you manage to haul yourself out of bed, after an already eventful morning, you’ve convinced yourself that this is simply more practice. Building habits, as it were, so as not to raise suspicion when you inevitably end up out with his family, out with friends.
It makes perfect sense.
You brush your teeth and get dressed, in the same clothes you wore here yesterday, and open your laptop to get a little work done before the tow company picks you up. Just as Satoru said they would, they ring the bell at nine sharp. You stuff your laptop into your bag, locking the door with your spare key, and follow the driver to his truck.
You make polite small-talk with the driver- mostly about your crappy car- for the short drive to the tow yard, thanking him as he holds the door open for you. When you turn toward the office, he stops you.
“Oh, miss, I have your key right here.”
He hands you a key that certainly isn’t yours. You look from it to him.
“This isn’t my key.”
The driver scratches the back of his neck, pointing across the lot. “Well, according to Mr. Gojo, it is.”
You turn to see a shiny new coupe with a massive red bow on the hood. You blink at it, then turn back to the driver. “Where’s my car?”
He shifts his weight nervously. “I don’t rightly know, miss. Mr. Gojo called yesterday and said not to worry about it. Said he’d be dropping off a new one- nothing but the best for his fiancée. Came by this morning, handed me the key himself.”
You turn back to the car in stunned silence.
“I can see about getting your old car back, miss…”
“No, thank you.” You turned to smile at the driver. “I can take it up with my fiancé.”
The driver nodded, shuffling off to the office in the center of the lot at great speed. You walked over to your new ill-gotten vehicle, circling it slowly. This was a huge gift.
You let yourself into the driver’s seat, reveling in the luxury of a vehicle younger than yourself, let alone one of such caliber. Then, calmly, you dialed Satoru’s number.
The phone rang twice, and then he picked up with a joyous “Love of my life!”
You sucked down a breath, and then roared into the phone. “GOJO!”
——————————————————————
The final weeks until the wedding are so busy that you hardly have time to think about the day itself, but they’re a raging success.
You and Satoru go apartment hunting, despite your protests, and end up with a penthouse apartment with an office, a guest room, and more space than you know how to decorate. He hires a moving company to pack your humble, cozy apartment and his sleek one, refusing to hear any protests about keeping your lease.
“Baby, I’ve been trying to get you out of that shithole for years. You really think I’m letting this opportunity pass me by?” You grumble about making rent and he tugs you close with an arm around your shoulders, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. “Rent, as if. Consider it repayment for going along with all this.”
You don’t bother pointing out that “all this” was your idea in the first place; you know it would be useless.
Your parents fly in the week of the wedding and insist on taking you and Satoru out for dinner “one last time before the big day” as thanks for Satoru’s generosity in putting them up in “such a lovely hotel”.
You go to your final fitting and your dress is perfect, curving and flowing in all the right places. Your mother cries, and that sets you to crying too.
Satoru kisses you, more than once. He kisses you first thing every morning when you emerge from his room, kisses you each time you pass each other over the course of the days, kisses you last thing at night before making himself comfortable on the couch. You have to force yourself not to ask him to stay in the bed with you, afraid of what you might do if he agrees.
You have to remind yourself that none of this is real.
Shoko comes to town, determined not to miss the big event despite the space that’s opened up between her and Satoru. Seeing them together, you realize that it probably never opened at all. It’s Suguru’s space; a tiny, infinite rift between them. You can see how bittersweet the reunion is, for both of them, and find yourself hoping that it won’t be the last time they meet. Hoping that they can both heal until they can really be friends again.
You have an incredibly tense dinner with Satoru’s parents, made all the more stressful by the agreement to do everything to sell them on the idea that you’re hopelessly in love with each other. At dinner, you hold hands through every course, constantly looking at each other with syrupy smiles and fluttering lashes. When you retire to the restaurant’s overpriced lounge for drinks, Satoru pulls you down into his lap, holding you firmly in place the entire time. He only has one drink, but he gets noticeably more handsy as the contents of his glass disappear.
You ruffle his hair affectionately, leaning down to whisper in his ear.
Only the fact that his parents are sitting feet away stops you from asking whether there’s something in his pocket, or whether he’s just happy to see you. “Lightweight,” you breathe instead, trying not to move too much lest he notice his body’s reaction and push you away. He giggles, dragging you forward to plant a sloppy kiss on your mouth. You allow yourself to relish the moment, embracing the longing you’ve begun to feel. For his parents’ benefit, you tell yourself. You’re only doing your part to sell the lie.
You can practically feel the steam coming from his mother’s ears.
Standing on Satoru’s balcony the night before the wedding, he levels you with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen from him. “Are you sure about this?”
You think back on the past months, comparing them to all the years before. What had even changed, besides the fact that now, you were friends who sometimes kissed? Who sometimes came dangerously close to feeling each other up? What had changed, besides the fact that now, you were almost certain that you’d never moved past your feelings for him?
You forced yourself to relax and smile. “I’m sure.”
Satoru took your hands in his, turning you to face him. “You’re giving up a lot for me.”
That made you laugh. You looked up, pleased to see the curve of amusement on his lips. “What am I giving up? It’s not like I’d be spending my time with anyone else. Besides, you’ve bought me a beautiful ring, a gorgeous dress, and a brand new car. I think I’m actually gonna come out of this pretty far ahead.”
“Don’t forget the penthouse,” he teased, and your smile dropped to a deadpan.
“Satoru, we’ve discussed the penthouse.” He waved this off. “I’m not keeping it!” you protested.
“Yeah, we’ll see.” He grinned down at you, breeze lifting his hair from his forehead. Without meaning to, you reached up to smooth it back, thumb running over the scar over his eyebrow. He cleared his throat, growing somber. “This time tomorrow, we’re going to be married.”
You let your fingertips drift down his cheek, allowing yourself just one more private moment of weakness before your heart ended up on display tomorrow for everyone to see. Hopefully, everyone but him. You nodded, suddenly at a loss for words. For all his sweetness, you’d seldom seen the tenderness he bent on you in the smile he offered. His eyes were liquid, soft as ever, when he raised your hand to his lips.
“Let’s get some sleep,” he murmured, and you agreed, if only to escape before his attention caused you to crumble.
——————————————————————
The wedding day itself is surreal, and it passes in a blur. You wake in Satoru’s bedroom with a bouquet of roses on the bedside, along with a note in his bold writing.
“To the best friend I’ve ever had, thank you for putting up with my shit and having my back. We both know that I’m a treasure. I only hope you know that you are, too. You deserve the world, and I will lay it at your feet. On this, our wedding day, I alone am the honored one.”
The note is signed with a flourish of his name. You smile as you raise it to your lips, taking in the faint scent of his cologne. You are the honored one on this day. You lay the note next to your bra, fully intent on keeping it close, and then you hit the ground running.
You shower and brush your teeth and after that, it’s out the door to the waiting car to be driven to the vast Gojo estate. Despite spending time here as a child, the place is still incredibly intimidating with its marble arches and sprawling gardens. You feel your heartbeat speed as you see the decorations- fairy lights and tulle, vines and roses, black silk ribbons and eucalyptus branches.
It’s more beautiful than you could have imagined.
You make your way to the guest house and sit through an hour of hair and makeup, laughing with your mother about all the childish shenanigans you and Satoru have gotten up to over the years, and calm your anxious hands and stomach by sampling the hors d’oeuvres arranged prettily on silver platters.
Your father sits in the corner, eyes shining with pride and unshed tears. He’s got a cocktail of painkillers ready to go; nothing will keep him from walking with his little girl today.
You would feel guilty if Satoru weren’t already such a fixture in all of your lives. You only hope that your parents won’t be too hurt when this is all over.
It’s only once your parents step out so that you can change into your gown that Satoru’s mother visits you.
“Tell me, my dear, must we really continue this charade?”
You feel your heart prick with ice. “I assure you, Gojo-sama, that there is no charade,” you lie smoothly. “I love your son.” Just enough honesty to ring true.
Her glare is frozen. “I will give you six million yen if you walk out of here and away from my son.”
You raise your chin in defiance. “No.”
“Seven million.”
“You cannot buy me, no matter the price.”
“Ten million yen.”
Your ire has been steadily rising since she stepped into the room. Now, it eclipses your anxiety like a crashing wave. You lean forward, well into her space, and feel a mean thrill when she leans away from you. Your voice is cold. “I do not care what you think of me. But it’s clear that you have no concept of your son’s worth.” You tilt your head, summoning the haughtiest tone you’ve ever used. “You dishonor him.” His mother reels back, scowling.
“You don’t deserve my son,” she sneers.
You laugh at that. “I agree. Yet somehow, he’s decided otherwise.”
She peers down her nose at you. You expect another round of vitriol, but to your surprise, she turns on her heel to leave. Round one, you.
You blow out your breath, shake your hands, and straighten your shoulders. Within a few minutes, your parents are back and then it’s smooth sailing again.
Right up until you and your father hobble to the door to walk to the ceremony.
Your father starts to sniffle. You turn and realize that he’s tearing up, putting on his bravest face and doing his utmost not to blubber.
“Oh, papa,” you murmur. You turn to take his face in your hands. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, hime.” He reaches a hand up to your face, carefully avoiding your hair and touching lightly so as not to smear your makeup. “I am just so happy. Your mother and I used to talk about what a wonderful life you and Satoru would build together and now it’s finally beginning.”
The shock nearly knocks you off your feet. “You… what?”
He sniffles, patting your cheek and lowering his head to compose himself. “You make an old man proud. There’s no one else I’d rather give you away to.”
You move your mouth, but can’t form any words.
And then, it’s time. The great door creaks open and you tilt your head down to hide your expression. You take a few deep, steadying breaths before raising your head… and promptly losing them.
The lawn is surprisingly empty, though you suppose his parents planned it that way. Regardless, every face fades as you set eyes on Satoru.
Satoru, the best and oldest friend you’ve ever had.
Satoru, who’s always been in your corner, no matter what.
Satoru, who looks devastatingly handsome in black and white, with a boutonniere of one, single rose almost the same color as his eyes. Almost, but not quite. Satoru, whose eyes are wider than ever, staring slack-jawed as you make your way toward him down the aisle, moving slowly for your fathers’ sake. Satoru, whose hands drop from where they’d been fiddling with his cuffs.
Satoru, who looks at you with such longing that you nearly collapse.
Your heart stops, and then sprints to make up for lost time.
This day is going to kill you.
You know that your face is bearing every emotion, that nothing is hidden in this instant.
And it’s nothing compared to the way he looks at you.
It’s all an act, you remind yourself. Tears spring to your eyes. All an act, but every person in this room is eating it up. Including you. When did he get so good at acting?
The corner of his lip curls in an awestruck smile and you’re a goner.
Who were you kidding?
You let the tears stream, grateful at least that they would lend authenticity to the performance. And for the first time, you feel your heart sink.
You’re just as in love with Satoru Gojo now as you had been at eleven years old.
You’d been a fool to think you’d get out of this unscathed.
Over the course of your mental collapse, Satoru’s smile widens until you can just make out the tiny dimples at the corners of his mouth that only ever show themselves when he’s at his happiest.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.
You just have to remember that it’s all for show.
You force yourself to smile.
And know instantly that you’ve made a mistake.
You had to be twenty paces or more away, but those dimples disappeared the moment your lips spread.
No one else would ever notice, but you did.
Because no one else would ever notice, but he had.
Those cyan eyes narrowed fractionally and you knew that he could tell that something was off. You could see the anxiety surfacing as you got close.
To feel so seen…
You pursed your lips, just by a hairs’ breadth, and Satoru’s face relaxed. The silent conversation you had in those last few steps did wonders to ease your nerves, and you could tell that it did the same for him. Between one heartbeat and the next, your father was kissing your cheek, placing your hand firmly in Satoru’s outstretched one.
You couldn’t hear a word anyone said- not your father, not the priest, not even Satoru. You blinked rapidly, finally locking eyes with your fiancé.
“Baby? Are you okay?” he whispered, and you could tell from the slight strain in his voice that he was repeating the question.
You squeezed his hands. “I’m okay,” you whispered back. You let yourself fall into your role, embracing the fantasy. You felt nearly giddy. “Let’s get married.”
And oh, there was that smile again, canyon-wide and dimpled just for you. “Let’s.”
You could hardly concentrate enough to repeat your vows, too caught up in the way Satoru’s eyes sparkled, locked onto you. Too mesmerized by the way his mouth moved to truly hear what he said. Before your head could catch up with the feelings speeding through your heart, Satoru was wrapping a strong arm around your waist, pulling you firmly to his chest. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his smile.
“Hi, wifey.” And then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. You couldn’t stop your hands coming up to cradle his face; couldn’t stop your mad smile when he bent you back nearly parallel to the ground; couldn’t stop the shudder that ran down your spine at the soft moan he let out when you ran your tongue along the seam of his lips. They parted, allowing you to lick along the inside of his lip before you bit down softly.
Only the applause from your guests covered the animalistic growl that tore itself from his throat.
You felt a heady thrill at your apparent power and giggled. After a heated moment and a shaky breath, so did Satoru. He straightened, pulling you up with him, and raised your joined hands overhead for all to see.
Mr. and Mrs. Satoru Gojo.
——————————————————————
For being largely made up of Satoru’s colleagues and the elder Gojo’s business acquaintances, your guests were incredibly gracious. Every person seemed to want to personally convey their best wishes; a happy marriage, good fortunes, continued health. You and Satoru thanked each person in turn, holding hands all the while.
And each time someone new came to express their pleasure, you felt your mind and heart crack just a bit more under the weight of the lie.
“We’re almost done,” he murmured against your ear. You’d finally made your way to the dance floor, taking solace in the security and solitude of Satoru’s arms. You nodded, cheek rubbing against his chest. “You okay?” he asked.
You nodded again. “Just counting down the minutes until we can go home.”
He chuckled, drawing you closer. “Well, tell you what, then. Let me go say goodnight to my parents and then we can leave, okay?” You smiled up at him, grateful.
“That sounds wonderful, husband.”
He grinned at you with a childish sort of glee. “Glad to hear it, wife.” He leaned down, pressed a soft kiss to your lips, and then spun you away from himself. “I’ll meet you by the altar in a few minutes?”
You smiled over your shoulder, turning to survey the crowd. Your parents had left an hour ago with profuse apologies; your father’s medication was wearing off and he was going to need to be off his feet, quickly. You waved and smiled at the few friends of Satoru’s you knew- Kento Nanami, Yu Haibara, Utahime Iori, Kiyotaka Ijichi- and waded through the crowd of celebrating people.
Satoru had asked whether it bothered you that none of your friends had come. The truth was that when life got busy and your friends stopped reaching out, when no one could accept how much time and emotion you put into Satoru after the incident, you’d let most of those friendships slide. Why should you beg for anyone’s attention when the only person whose attention you truly craved centered on you to begin with?
You’d never regretted that conviction, never even questioned it. Not even today.
You made rounds to the tables that gestured you over for long minutes before excusing yourself, breaking for the altar. You were passing an alcove when you heard Shoko’s voice, and you felt yourself perk up. You hadn’t had a chance to thank her for coming, and you wanted to make sure that you didn’t miss the opportunity to talk to her. Even if you didn’t feel the need to have a lot of friends, it would be refreshing to have a girl friend again- and she’d been important to Satoru, once. You wanted to make sure that she knew her presence was more than welcome in your lives.
It was only once you reached the garden wall that you realized she didn’t sound happy.
Then you heard Satoru’s voice.
“I just really don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this!”
“Because, Satoru! I understand that you care for her, but I really think you’re making the biggest mistake of your life!”
“Then let me make it!” Satoru roared, and the words had you breaking out into a cold sweat.
They couldn’t mean…?
He seemed to remember where they were and lowered his voice. “Then let me make it. If it’s such a huge mistake, you’ll be the first to know, alright? I’ll call you myself. ‘Shoko, you were right, I never should have married her.’ Is that what you want to hear?”
Your hands flew to cover your mouth, but they weren’t quick enough to muffle the pained sound that escaped you. You darted to put your back to the bower leading into their little section of the garden, praying to all the gods that you hadn’t been heard. For once, despite Satoru’s involvement, they listened.
Shoko sighed. “No, Satoru, it’s not. I just want you to be happy. I just don’t think you’re-”
You raised your hands to cover your ears and bolted away. You didn’t care how childish it was, you couldn’t bear to hear another word. You ran, heels catching small rocks and roots as you held your breath in an effort not to cry. If the tears fell, your face would puff up and your makeup would be ruined. There would be questions. You couldn’t deal with questions, especially not now.
You tucked yourself into the greenhouse and sucked down mouthfuls of cool air, staring straight at the ceiling. That was supposed to help, wasn’t it?
You couldn’t stay here for too long. You had to get control of yourself, and quickly. You tried desperately to conjure up any happy memories that didn’t involve Satoru and came up woefully short.
Maybe you needed some friends of your own, after all.
You breathed in, held, released. Breathed in, held, released. You repeated this until your hands stopped shaking, and then did it five more times for good measure. You straightened your shoulders. Then you walked back out into the throng. Head held high, smile firmly in place, you strode to the altar, catching sight of Satoru as he stepped out of the shade of a tree and into view.
Your breath caught in your throat. He was so beautiful. He beamed when he saw you, looking a touch deflated, but irritation all but vanished. You knew by the subtle shift of his eyebrows, though, that your own smile wasn’t fooling him.
——————————————————————
The ride back to your new penthouse was blessedly short, and blessedly quiet. With a driver from his parents’ staff, neither of you dared to say a word of meaning, settling on holding hands and whispering to each other about dinner and movies and sleep instead. When the car stopped, Satoru was out in a flash to open your door, handing you out like some Victorian lady. No matter how confused you felt, it made your mouth twitch up in a smile.
He led you through the apartment lobby and into the private elevator to your new home, even holding the door open for the driver following with a cart of wedding gifts. You clutched his hand the whole ride up, gluing yourself to his side even if you couldn’t bring yourself to look up at him. You could feel the worried glances he shot your direction when the driver wasn’t looking, though.
As soon as the elevator door opened, he was sweeping you up into his arms, striding purposefully across the short hall to your front door. You let yourself laugh as he managed to fish the keys out of his pocket without letting you slide so much as an inch, and swooned dramatically as he kicked in the door. He kissed you again and you felt your heart clench painfully. Then he turned to the driver, thanking him for his service and advising that he leave, lest he see something he’d rather not.
You’d never seen someone excuse themselves so quickly.
You both paused once the door clicked shut, waiting for the chime of the elevator, and then Satoru lowered you gently to the floor. You turned quickly, practically running into the living room. You began unfastening your jewelry, anything to keep your hands and eyes busy.
“Sweetheart?” He was worried. You knew better than to try to hide from him, but you’d hoped you could have even a moment longer to collect your thoughts. The drive here hadn’t been nearly long enough. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He was halfway across the room already. You knew that if he touched you, you’d lose your nerve.
“What did Shoko mean by ‘the biggest mistake of your life’?” The words were out before you could think better of them.
Abruptly, his footsteps stopped. The silence was deafening. With shaking hands, you laid your wedding jewelry on the coffee table, steeling yourself for whatever answer Satoru gave you.
You turned to face him and found him looking ashen and sick.
He swallowed hard.
“You heard that?”
Somehow, you’d expected something different. A denial, an indignant retort, even a joke. You scoffed in disbelief, only it didn’t sound much like a scoff. It sounded like a sob.
Satoru took two steps forward before stopping at your raised hand.
“Listen, I can explain.”
“Explain what, Gojo?” A look of profound hurt crossed his face at your use of his family name, but you couldn’t… You had to put some distance between you. You didn’t want to believe that there was any truth to the words, but you knew now that there had to be.
“You didn’t even argue with her! ‘The worst mistake of your life’?” He flinched then, finally breaking eye contact to look across the room past you. You choked on your tears, voice coming out harsh around the growing lump in your throat. “I know you never wanted to be married, but I-I thought I was helping you. I thought you wouldn’t care since it was only temporary. I thought you said this would be fun! You never told me you were having second thoughts!”
“You’re right, I didn’t,” he said softly. “Shoko thinks I’m making a mistake because… because I’ve been in love with you since we were children.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he was reeling back, breathing ragged as his hands went to his hair, as though maybe he’d never said the words aloud. As though maybe he’d never admitted them to himself. You nearly staggered backward, too. “Please, sweetheart, just let me explain. I swear, I-”
“You’re in love with me?” you whispered. Your heart raced, hope lighting your veins aflame. Tears had been building since the conversation started. They began to run down your cheeks now, and you saw Satoru move as though he was going to come to you, to do anything to make them stop, before forcing himself to stand still. He’d always hated to see you cry.
He clenched his fists. His eyes slid shut, and the pain evident on his face was so great that you flashed, for a moment, to him waking up in that hospital bed; bindings around his wounds and tubing in his arms, oxygen mask on his face, waking so slowly, so grievously wounded that he’d asked you if he was dead.
“I would never,” he began slowly, “have made you stay.” He let that sink in before continuing, so softly that you could barely hear him. “I thought…” His voice trailed off as he sank to his knees, almost as though the words had sapped him of the strength to bear his own weight.
“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I tried so hard not to feel the way I felt. I know you never felt the same about me.”
Just like that, all of the pieces clicked into place. Every blank expression at every stupid joke or offhanded comment you’d made about your inevitable divorce; every flash of doubt, of disappointment in his eyes when you brought up that it was only a fake marriage; the way he’d answered Shoko, as if it hurt him to say the words; the fury he’d felt toward his parents; even the way he’d detached himself from you when your kisses had been too heated. He’d been afraid.
You began to shake your head.
Shoko thought he was making a mistake because she thought you didn’t love him.
Because Satoru thought you didn’t love him.
He hadn’t stopped talking while your world crumbled around you.
“I thought that this was it, my chance for a little piece of all my dreams. I thought that I could have you by my side, just for a little while, that I could kiss you just once, and that it could carry me through the rest of my life.”
Your mind was spinning in a thousand directions, including a hysterical amusement. “You kissed me a lot more than once,” you whispered, a near-automated response borne of your shared sense of humor.
Satoru let out a strangled noise. “I was selfish.” You opened your mouth to protest, to deny it, to say that you didn’t mean it like that- to tell him you loved him. But he barreled on, voice strained.
“When you said you’d had a crush on me all those years ago, I thought ‘what if I could make her fall in love with me?’ I thought ‘this could be the rest of my life.’ And then you kissed me in the gym, and I knew that I had to try something, anything, everything. I knew that I…” He sucked in a deep breath and let out a breathless, awful, self-loathing laugh. “I thought that I couldn’t survive on just one kiss.”
He hung his head, burying his face in his hands. “Shoko knew the moment that she saw us together that I’d never told you how I felt. She figured it out so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to deny it.”
You’d unconsciously moved closer as he’d spoken. You threaded your fingers lightly through his hair and the air went out of him. He folded forward, hands coming to rest on either side of your feet.
“Please, baby, please forgive me. Shoko was right, it was unfair. It was so unfair to you. I’m so sorry.”
You tilted his head back to look up at you. He let you do it with a sharp intake of breath, gazing up at you with so much feeling that it nearly swept you off your feet.
“Please, sweetheart, say something. Anything,” he pleaded. He’d leaned forward to wrap his hands around the backs of your knees, drawing you closer to him. “Please.”
You had never in your life, ever heard Satoru beg for anything. Your heart galloped in your chest.
“You weren’t unfair,” you whispered. You opened your mouth to say more, but he was already stuttering out more apologies as if you hadn’t spoken. If he was experiencing anything like the roaring in your ears, he probably hadn’t heard you.
“Please, please, forgive me. I’ll do anything. We can get an annulment tomorrow if you want, to hell with my parents. Just please, let me make it right. I’ll never say another word about this, not one.” He pressed his face further into your thighs, murmuring against the fabric. “I can’t be without you. I would die without you.”
Everything in your chest constricted violently.
Of course, Satoru had a penchant for wild dramatics, making insane exaggerations out of anything and everything. A papercut was a mortal wound, a stubbed toe a shattered leg; a few degrees too warm and it was the seventh circle of hell, a few degrees too cool and it was the ninth; a runny nose might as well be a terminal illness, and boredom was just as serious.
This was not one of those exaggerations.
You didn’t want to think about a life without him, couldn’t dream of it, not even in your worst nightmares. Separating the two of you from each other was impossible, in any circumstance, in any world.
You knelt down, slotting your legs with Satoru’s, and tugged him forward by his hair. Your breaths mingled in the infinite, infinitesimal space between you, before you kissed him. The groan he let out was that of a wounded animal- pleading, haunted, and full of despair- as his hands rose to your cheeks. You could feel his restraint in the way his hands held you from coming any closer, in the way he barely moved his slack mouth, letting you kiss him.
“Please,” he whispered again, and you could hear his heart breaking on the word. “Please don’t leave me. You can’t say goodbye to me. Not like this.”
“You idiot,” you whispered. Slowly, between kisses, you murmured, “Don’t you know I’ve been in love with you since the day we met?” Against all odds, Satoru pulled back from you, holding your face away from his between shaking hands.
“Say it again,” he whispered, voice shot.
“I’ve been in love with you-” And then, he’s kissing you, and there’s nothing restrained about it, and you realize just how much he must have been holding back when he’d kissed you before.
This isn’t his stunned inaction from the kiss in the gym; not the gentle exploration of your practice kissing, where it should have been obvious that he meant to memorize the way it felt; not the giddy, showy kiss from the altar and certainly not the chaste, PG kisses you’d shared throughout the reception.
No. This kiss was all-consuming, desperate. Like Satoru meant to devour you, and maybe he did. He lapped at the inside of your lips, moaning softly. His long fingers roved over your body, pulling you closer until you gasped, and even that seemed to be not enough.
He let out an impatient noise, low in the back of his throat, before dragging you forward and up in one fluid motion. His hands gripped you with near-bruising force, pulling you by your knees to wrap your legs around him, and then your back hit the cool glass wall of your penthouse with a dull thud.
You half gasped, half giggled through Satoru’s apologies, muffled by the incessant slide of his lips on yours. His lean, hard body pressed fully along yours, moving against you almost of its own accord. You could feel the thundering of his heart against your chest. With his hips pinning yours to the wall, he lifted one hand from its place at your waist to grip the back of your neck.
Your hands finally, after all of the shock and movement of what was probably only the last 20 or so seconds, landed in his hair to tangle in the snowy strands. Satoru keened into your mouth, pressing even harder against you, a vibrating mass of wiry muscle and lanky elegance. You dropped one hand to squeeze at his bicep and wondered how you had ever ignored how hot your best friend was.
The hand on the back of your neck tightened, tilting your head to deepen the kiss, allowing Satoru to stroke your tongue with his, gentle and searching and urgent all at once. The hand at your waist pulled you relentlessly forward, molding your bodies together, and you squeezed your legs to keep his hips locked against yours.
Satoru was murmuring against your lips, against the sensitive skin of your throat, against the shell of your ear, hot breath lighting your skin on fire where it touched. You caught only snatches of what he was saying, a litany of praise and pleading.
“I love you, I love you, I want you, I need you, stay with me, don’t leave me, let me please you, my wife, my wife, my perfect wife.”
Your head thumped against the wall as you tilted it back, granting him access to leave a trail of sloppy kisses from your mouth to your ear, down your throat to your collarbone, across the sheer material of your wedding gown to bite softly at your shoulder.
“Marry me,” he groaned.
You couldn’t help the airy giggle that bubbled up. “I already did.”
“Marry me for real,” he whined, breathless.
“Yes. Of course, yes.” “Yes,” he hissed, finally shifting away from your poor living room wall with you in his arms. He stumbled down the hallway, drunk on you, toward your marital bedroom, unable to stop kissing you. “I’ve been in love with you for so long that I don’t even know who I am without loving you. If I’m even a person without loving you.”
“I was so afraid that you didn’t love me the way I loved you that I spent years trying to convince myself that I didn’t love you, but I never could,” you confessed, words rushing out, and Satoru let out a sob against your throat.
“I could never not love you,” he groaned. “Never in a million years, not in any life. I have wanted you…”
He bit the sentence off, stumbling as his knees hit the bed. He lowered you reverently to the plush duvet with an arm braced above your head, kisses slowing and softening as he stroked your cheek. “I’ve always wanted to marry you,” he murmured. “I’ve wanted you for so…” He trailed off, trembling as your hands slid up beneath his shirt to trace the lithe muscles of his back, and nuzzled behind your ear. He moaned brokenly. “Tell me if I’m moving too fast,” he whispered. “Tell me if you want to stop.”
You traced your hands down his sides, revelling as he panted in your ear. You raised your knees to stroke his thighs, his hips, before wrapping your legs slowly, deliberately around his slim waist, locking your heels at the small of his back. He took a great, shuddering breath, instinctively bending toward you when you raised your hands to shuck off his tuxedo jacket. Your fingers danced up to unbutton his vest before moving to his shirt, torturously slowly. You forced yourself to take your time, forced yourself not to yank and hope that the buttons would fly off like in some cheesy rom-com.
By the time you finished, you almost worried that Satoru would shake apart above you. He looked absolutely ruined; jaw clenched, eyes squeezed shut, a euphoric pain painted across every feature. You let your eyes rove his beautiful body, tracing scars with sight and touch alike until you reached the waistband of his trousers. All of the breath went out of him in a loud whoosh, and he dropped the hand stroking your face to the mattress to stop himself from crushing you. His eyes snapped open, a brilliant, dark turquoise nearly eclipsed by shimmering black. His mouth hung open, lust and love and disbelief warring as he frantically searched your face.
You crooked a tiny smile at him, and then leaned up until your lips brushed his. “I don’t want to stop.” He whined, surging forward to kiss you, grinding his hips down to yours with delicious pressure. “I think… we’ve waited… long enough,” you panted between kisses.
Oftentimes, Satoru couldn’t shut up. You’d been friends for so long that his incessant chatter ceased to phase you in the slightest. But you’d never heard him talk so much.
Any time his smart mouth wasn’t occupied with you, it was running. He alternated between babbling praise and incoherent adoration and begging you, though for what, you couldn’t be sure, since he was, by his own distraught admissions, getting everything he’d ever wanted, dreamed of, hoped for, waited for. He couldn’t seem to stop, and it stoked your ego in ways you’d never known you’d wanted, never imagined could turn you on so much.
And despite his obvious anguish, despite the delicious agony it took to exert his control, despite fifteen or more years of never daring to hope, or perhaps because of that, he put you first just like he always did, following only once he was satisfied that you had been, too.
——————————————————————
It hadn’t been the wedding night you’d expected- as far from traditional as it was from the plan- but you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, no matter how it had come about.
In the watery sunlight, you rolled to face your husband. Husband. He loosened his grip to let you, hand coming to rest on your bare hip as you settled to face him. His eyes bored into yours, sharp and bright as a storm.
“Hey,” you whispered.
“Hey,” he replied, and the low rumble of his voice sent a shiver of pleasure down your spine and straight between your aching thighs.
You reached up, carding your hands through his hair, and marvelled at the way his eyes fluttered closed. He was like putty beneath your touch. He turned to kiss your palm, drawing your hand down to cover his heart. He stared at you intensely.
“Tell me I’m not dreaming,” he murmured.
You raised one eyebrow in amusement. “That’d be some dream.”
“Best dream of my life.” He pulled you flush against him, pressing his lips to yours and sliding his tongue across your teeth, morning breath be damned. “Be better if it never ended.” He kissed from the corner of your mouth across your jaw, to that sensitive spot behind your ear. “Be best if it wasn’t a dream at all.”
You gripped his neck, pulling him closer, drowning in him. “It’s not a dream,” you whispered.
“Thank goodness,” he groaned. He rolled over to pin you to the bed, hands coming up to lace his fingers with yours. “I am so in love with you.” He traced your rings with one finger, lips spreading in a sleepy, adoring smile. “My beautiful wife.”
You giggled, face splitting in an uncontrollable smile, and leaned up to kiss him. “And I am so in love with you.” Another kiss as you stroked his ring in return. “My handsome husband.” And if the curve of his lips against your jaw and the movement of his body against yours was anything to go by, you were about to be shown how in love with you he was all over again.
Yeah, you could get used to this.
#nightingale writes#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#gojo#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x fem! reader#gojo x reader#gojo x fem! reader#best friend! satoru gojo#best freind! gojo#friends to lovers#idiots to lovers#fake marriage
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codename: nightingale- auld acquaintances
reference: young justice season 1 episode 26
wc: 10.3k
synopsis: well shit gets real, conner yeets ng and robin, all while, ng reminds us why she’s the best, and the otp(s) get their shit (collectively and respectively) together
main masterlist
codename: nightingale series masterlist
a/n: I CANNOT BELIEVE I DID IT. you guys and your support have carried me though this process and the many YEARS it took me to get to this point. I have loved writing this since the beginning and I still do. Thank you for loving this story and the characters as much as I do. Enjoy!
MOUNT JUSTICE
December 31st, 03:12 EST
The cave was quiet as you zeta’d in. You’d only managed a few hours of sleep before you woke up in a fit. Ollie’s penthouse was silent though. And a quick check through the security system told you no one but you was home, in fact no one had come home, since you had. The team had made the decision to host a debrief at 0730, the next day, allowing everyone (mostly you) to recenter.
Given that the penthouse was empty, you decided to head to the cave early, if you were lucky, you’d be able to check the logs and see if Ollie, Dinah, and Roy were still up in the Watchtower or not.
“Recognized: Nightingale b-14,” the computer’s voice echoed in the darkness of the cave, and a couple of light flickered on in response.
“Computer, pull Zeta logs for the last 24 hours to the Watchtower, Nightingale Access delta echo charlie zero six,” you call out your code after a brief look assures that you’re the only one around.
“Access Denied,” the computer’s response throws you off guard as you pull up a screen, but you’re treated to a red screen.
“Under who’s authority?”
“Designation 0-2.”
“Batman?” you whisper the answer to yourself, but you can’t understand why. You’ve had access to the Watch Tower logs since Ollie and Dinah told you about the tower. You couldn’t get there without them, but you could access the logs to see who’s there currently, and you could usually see the calendar to know when Dinah and Ollie were scheduled.
“Computer, Canary Override: charlie romeo yankee seven eight nine three,” you attempt.
“Override denied.”
“What? Why?”
“Override denied per designation A-0-4.”
“A-0-4? Who is A-0-4?”
“Access Denied.”
“Oh, fuck’s sake!” you shout.
“Perhaps yelling at our computer system is not the best use of your limited time to rest?” a new voice interrupts.
You frown as you turn to look at Kaldur, “it won’t let me access the Watch Tower logs,” you huff, pointing at the red message glaring back at you.
“Why are you looking to access the logs?” he asks, brows furrowed as he looks between you and the screen.
“No one came home last night, K. I needed- I wanted- I just need to talk to Dinah, after everything that happened? I just wanted Dinah or Ollie, and they weren’t home. I passed out on the couch waiting, and when I woke up, they still hadn’t come back. I just wanted to see if they were still there,” you explain.
Kaldur’s lips pull into a frown, “They may be pre-occupied, the League, as you know, better than most, can be demanding, even at the best of times, and with the best of offers,” he states.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you defend, sensing his double meaning.
“You mean to tell me, my King is but a liar?” he challenges.
You’re quiet for a moment, Kaldur knew better than anyone, just how much you respected King Orin, “what did he say, exactly?”
“That you were also accepted into the League, that you were by far the best candidate off all those who were inducted, and yet, you were the only one who has said no to date,” he admits.
Your voice is quiet as you look at your friend, before you sigh, “how long have you known?”
“Since the meeting in November.”
“You didn’t say anything…”
“Neither did you, I decided it’d be best to follow your lead. You would have said something when you were ready to,” he shrugs.
“I’m not ready. I don’t feel ready, to be there, at that level,” you explain.
“You owe me no explanation, old friend. I have always had faith in your decisions, I won’t start questioning them now,” he assures you.
“Thanks, K,” you sigh. “Did he really say I was the best candidate?”
Kaldur smiles knowingly, and gently places a hand on your shoulder, “Come, M’gann stress baked cookies last night upon our arrival. We can indulge in those while we watch something?”
“Yes, please.”
You both got settled on the green sofas with a plate of cookies on the coffee table before you, and two mugs of tea. You were flipping through the available options when Kaldur spoke up again.
“I watched when you were barely in double digits trying to learn how to sort through your feelings and emotions,” he began and your grip on the mug tightened, while your hand with the remote dropped. “I watched as you turned it into a motivator, a strength. I watched how you learned to center yourself and be objective, even with only a decade beneath you. What you feel now, how you feel now, might be stronger, but you know how to utilize that, you know how to sort it. But until you can, until you’re able and ready, I hope you know I will be here to temper it. Just as I was before,” his tone is firm, as he expresses himself.
Slowly your gaze moves to him, and you take him in. This Kaldur was nearly an adult, he had given up the Conservatory, and trained with King Orin. This Kaldur taught you Atlantean, he helped you learn how to open yourself to magic.
“Kaldur…”
“We used to spar, do you remember? You were so full of rage and I remember the Queen sending me to spar with you one day. Garth and Tulla thought it would be unfair, they thought that with my age, my size, my magical and home advantage, you would be unable to compete. Fitting, that you knocked me down in mere minutes, despite being slowed by the water, despite being in a new place, despite your age and size. It was then that we all realized that you hold so much raw power, much more than you ever seemed to realize yourself.”
“You’d think you would’ve learned your lesson after Wally,” you scoff, sniffing to yourself and recalling the first time you met the boys.
“Oh, I did. Which is why I asked for you to be included in our studies, it’s why you studied with me, specifically, at the conservatory. You needed an outlet, then. So, you studied with us, trained with us, and despite not being naturally adept at magic, despite being out of your element, you held your own, you beat us several times. You mastered skills quicker than we ever did. You needed the distraction, to let go of all that you had been forced to carry at such a young age. I just hope you can trust me to help you with that again.”
“You were my first true friend, Kaldur’ahm. I had Roy, but he had always been introduced as a brother, you were a friend. You saw me, the realest version of me, rageful, angry, upset, scared, all of the negative emotions and you still decided that you would help me. You have always looked out for me, and you have always had my trust,” you’re resolute in your answer, no one had supported you through the hard parts like Kaldur had, because he was right. He had seen you at your angriest, he’d watched you fight as an outlet, seen you train yourself to the brink of exhaustion just to be free of the rage, even for a minute, and instead of telling you that you were wrong for your methods, he instead offered you new outlets, new opportunities. He lent you his strength and stability when you had none.
“I am honored to hold that title, my bird. We made a promise, you remember? A piece of our histories intertwined,” he states, smiling at you as he tugs a gold chain from under his shirt. Your gaze lingers on it for a moment before dropping to the ring you’d been subconsciously fidgeting with.
The ring that had allowed you to breathe underwater, the one that allowed you to live in Atlantis as if you were an Atlantean yourself, it was obviously special. But what made it so treasured was not the gift it gave, it was the who the gift was from. The ring had belonged to Kaldur’s mother. It had been she, who when King Orin asked for a volunteer, a home for the girl from the dry world, had stepped forward. She had opened her home, and had offered the ring to be enchanted for you. She became your advocate while you lived in Atlantis, she treated you like you were one of her own. When it was finally time for you to return to your home, over a year later, she had told you to keep the ring, “I’d always hoped to pass this ring to a daughter,” she’d said, and you cried as you hugged her one last time.
On Kaldur’s first trip to visit you, merely a month after you’d gone back to Star City, you’d given him a chain. It had belonged to your father, and he’d worn it his whole life. Something that had been gifted to him when he was young from his father, who got it from his father before him. There’s a small pendent that hangs, your family’s crest, just like on your ring, they were a set technically.
You’d managed to enchant the item with your limited ability just in time for Kaldur’s first visit. “It’s meant to be passed to sons. I’d really like it if our histories were intwined. If I’m going to carry such a meaningful part of yours and your mom’s history, then I’d really like if you were to carry this of mine.” As far as you know, he hadn’t taken it off since you gave it to him almost three years ago.
The frown reappears on your lips as you look at the chain, and then at Kaldur. “Sometimes… I wish I was still there. It was easier living with you. There were no secret machinations, just you and me, and Garth and Tulla. I- I was hurting, I know that, but-”
“I understand,” he promises and you can’t help but let out a watery laugh.
“Of course you do. You’re Kaldur’ahm, no one ever seems to understand me as well as you do,” you smile.
“Rest, my friend, you have earned it. Our debrief with the Batman is 0730, however, I suspect he will be here early.”
“0700?” you ask.
“See you then,” he promises, tossing you a pillow and a blanket.
“Thanks, K, for everything,” you smiled, plopping back.
“Anytime, my friend, anytime.”
MOUNT JUSTICE December 31st, 06:30 EST
When you wake up again, it’s to Conner staring down at you with a quirked brow.
“Shit, Conner, why are you just staring at me like that?” you groan rubbing at your eyes.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you yet,” he admits, one hand rubbing at his neck.
“Yeah, I came earlier this morning. Canary and GA were at the Tower all night long. K, sat with me for a while.”
“Well, since you’re here… maybe we can talk about-”
“About your dad?” you ask, staring up at the roof of the cave.
“Don’t. Please don’t call him that. There's so much to figure out, but he’s not… not my dad,” you haven't turned back to him yet, but you can hear the tension in his tone.
“Genetic Donor then?” you offer turning back to him with a lazy smirk before adjusting yourself to lean against the arm of the sofa, tucking your legs beneath you.
“Genetic Donor works,” he sighs, sitting down in the now empty space on the sofa with you.
It’s silent for a minute as you both process, and then you're giggling. Conner’s eyes blow wide, as he stares at you. You cant help yourself though. Your giggles soon turn to full blown laughs, tears forming in your eyes.
“NG… nightingale… (y/n)!” Conners tone grew increasingly harried with each call to you.
“I’m sorry, I- I just… he killed my parents. I’m an orphan… be-because of Lex fucking Luthor, and he’s the only reason you're even here. He’s the reason I’m here!” you’re still laughing.
It has to be some sort of break, your mind finally deciding it's had enough.
That's when the laughs trail off, and you're left with tears.
You stop heaving and you take a deep breath, everything grows silent, you shut your eyes and center yourself. When you open your eyes you're staring at Conner again.
“I don't know how to fix this,” he admits.
You offer him a weak smile as your shoulders droop, “you can't,” you relent and Conner sags back into the sofa too.
“What now?” he asks.
“We be honest with each other, and the team. You and me, we're bonded by something now. I didn't realize it when we freed you from your pod, or when you helped us escape, but we are.”
“Allies against Lex?” he offers, holding out his hand.
“Allies against Lex,” you confirm, shaking his hand.
A not so innocent piece of you takes advantage and reads his emotions. You're reassured by the feelings of honesty, compassion, and belonging. You stare at Conner for a moment before letting go of his hand.
“What time is it?” you ask, stretching out a bit.
“You have about 15 until debrief.”
“Okay, thanks,” you sigh, standing up.
“I’ll see you in the cortex?” he asks, standing up as well.
“Yeah,” you confirm before heading to the locker room.
You're all standing in a line when Batman finally zetas in. You hadn’t had a chance to talk to Rob, or anyone else from the team about yesterday before he arrived.
He starts by asking for a rundown of events. Which we oblige. We explain everything from start to finish, the reveals, the truths, the plan for Santa Prisca. Everything leading up to the moment of Lex Luthor’s escape.
And when all of that is said and done you swallow your fears down hard before stepping forward, “Additionally, after defeating Bane with Robin and Zatanna, when I became aware of Luthor’s escape-”
“She was a little upset, which I’d argue is completely warranted considering everything we found out yesterday,” Wally cuts in, interrupting you before you can admit to how you lost control.
“Yes, but-” your second attempt is interrupted as well.
“Which is why we would like to request that the development of a case against Luthor be a Team priority,” Robin’s the one to cut in this time, proffering an official request on behalf of the team.
You risk a glance at the Team, and you don’t need M’gann’s abilities to understand what they're trying to say. So you shut up, and step back in line, waiting for Batman’s response to the debrief as well as the request.
He doesn't say anything for a minute, and then Kaldur is stepping in, “We have reason to feel proud of yesterday's victories. But one thing has not changed,” he alludes.
“Somehow, the bad guys are still getting intel about us,” Robin offers.
“Yeah, but at least we know none of us are the mole,” Wally counters.
For the first time that morning Batman finally speaks up, “That's correct,” he confirms, and he does so with serious conviction.
You want to be reassured by his confirmation, but something about the whole briefing was throwing you off, and it wasn't the discussion of Luthor.
“The mole,” he begins again, “was Red Arrow.”
Theres a brief silence as Roy’s image is displayed before everyone explodes.
“Roy?” Robin repeats disbelievingly.
“No way!” Wally’s voice had pitched up in his rebuttal.
You on the other hand, felt as the first of the strings holding you up snapped. Kaldur places a hand on your shoulder as if he knew, before turning back to the Dark Knight, “Batman, that cannot be. He was Green Arrow's protégé. We have all known him for years.”
“Unfortunately, the Roy Harper we have known for the last three years is another Project Cadmus clone,” Red Tornado explains.
You have to fight to catch your breath, this couldn’t be happening. You’d known Roy longer than that, you would've realized!
“We've learned the real Speedy was abducted and replaced soon after becoming Green Arrow's sidekick,” Batman explains and you finally step forward.
“No,” the seriousness of the word echoes in the cave. “I’ve known Roy longer than that, its been way more than three years! I would have noticed if CADMUS had substituted my own brother in front of me!” your argument is urgent, something had to be wrong.
“Unless they took a self fabricated opportunity to substitute the clone in a time of chaos. Where Speedy’s patrol partner and closest confidant was… gone?” Batman paints a picture but you're so hyper-focused on the Roy of it all you miss what he’s hinting to.
Theres a sharp intake of breath behind you, when you turn you see Kaldur, his eyes wide as he stares at you, “You came to Atlantis almost four years ago, you were gone from the surface world for over a year…” he reminds you, and you feel another string snap.
“No.”
“You said everyone seemed different, you were different, you were re-adjusting, it’d be reasonable to assume you wouldn't have noticed,” Kaldur’s tone is soft.
“No! Don't you understand?” you shout, turning to the team. “If that's true, it means the riot where they escaped was planned, they meant to cause a distraction, to throw us off guard so that they could switch-”
“Switch their Roy for ours,” Wally finishes, green eyes full of remorse on your behalf.
“And they waited almost year to put that into action, capitalizing off of the disarray of Star City's heroes,” Artemis tacks on.
“I would have noticed!” you argue, voice cracking as you try to reign in your emotions.
“The clone was pre-programmed with a drive to join the Justice League,” Batman intervenes, continuing to provide the information he had at hand. “Which is why he was so angry over any delays to his admission and why he refused to join the Team. This Roy Harper had no idea he was a clone or a traitor. And his subconscious programming drove him to become League-worthy. So he struck out on his own as Red Arrow.”
Your head was spinning, heart beating so fast and loud in your ears, it was a miracle you were still standing up. Something was wrong, something had to be wrong. Where was Dinah and Ollie? If this were true they’d come to tell you in person, they would. How could Ollie have not noticed? How could Dinah? Something had to be wrong.
“When he was finally admitted, his secondary programming kicked in and he attempted to betray the League to Vandal Savage.”
Your stomach flipped, Savage?
“Fortunately, I had already deduced Red Arrow was a clone. We were prepared.”
He had what?!
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” you whisper, Conner and Kaldur seem to be the the only two who hear you as they offer you mildly concerned expressions.
“Savage was subdued but Red Arrow escaped. He is now a fugitive, armed and dangerous,” Red Tornado continues.
“If you guys hadn't rescued me from CADMUS...” Conner trails off, eyes jumping from me to Kaldur.
“What happened to the real Roy?” Rob’s the one to voice the question and your heart stutters. Real Roy as if the one you'd known since your return wasn't real in some way. They were both real, at least they were to you.
“We don't know. He isn't at Cadmus. We have to face the possibility that the real Roy Harper is dead.”
You can't stop it. The bubble of grief, pain, and guilt. It bursts out of you, and of course Kaldur’s the one to catch it. His hand lands heavily on your shoulder, and you take deep breaths to center yourself. They don't know, you remind yourself. He could be alive and on ice somewhere, you repeat. You're forcing thoughts of hope down your own throat, hoping something will be digestible.
The last thing you're expecting is for Robin to grab ahold of your hand, not in front of Batman, and not after yesterday’s incident. Today, however, he doesn't waver or flinch back like he had the day before, so you can't tell if he can feel what you are right now. He simply snags your hand and tightens his grasp, until you're squeezing back.
“The clone Roy. The Team will find him,” Kaldur decides, his tone leaves little space.
Yet, somehow, Batman blows it wide open, “Negative. Red Arrow's a member of the Justice League now. Leave him to us.”
There's an argument forming on your lips, but a beep from his comms forces you to shut up.
“I'm needed on the Watchtower. Tornado, stay with the kids,” Batman decides and Robins hand slackens a bit. Kids? Since when did Batman call you kids?
The zeta lights up a second later, “Recognized, Batman, zero-two.”
You turn and run to the closest bathroom, you can hear as a few people shout after you, but you’re focused on making it to the bathroom. Your knees hit the ground hard as you all but collapse and then your heaving up the little that’s in your stomach. The protein bar and cookies that Conner had swiped from the kitchen for you, the orange juice Kaldur had poured for you, and the the blueberries that you’d scarfed down as well.
There’s a hand on your back, another keeping your hair back. “Wally?” your voice is a hoarse whisper.
“It’s me,” he affirms.
You nod and close your eyes for a second before you’re heaving again.
“I got you,” he promises, gently rubbing circles into your back.
You knew that, Wally’s always got your back. You know he probably didn’t hesitate to chase after to you, and that he most likely told everyone else to stay back. “I would have noticed,” you repeat.
“(Y/n)…”
“I should have noticed,” you say, sliding back, wiping at your mouth and leaning against the wall before turning to your friend.
“That’s not on you,” Wally argued.
“He’s my brother, my responsibility,” you shoot back.
“C’mon, let’s get you back before Rob starts panicking,” he huffs, pulling you up.
“I need to bru-” before you can finish Wally disappears and reappears with the toothbrush from your locker and a tube of toothpaste.
“Your teeth?” he asks cheekily.
You shake your head before quickly brushing your teeth. When you and Wally get back it’s to Kaldur’s awaiting stare. You offer a nod and he turns to face the rest of the team before looking back at you. He gives you a look signifying that it was your move this time, your call. Your stomach’s still unsettled but you swallow down your nerves and confusion before addressing the team.
“Clone or no clone, Red Arrow was one of us. For three years, he was ours. We will go after him, and we will figure this out, on our terms,” you decide.
You had planned to say more, but the sudden sounds from Red Tornado force you to stop. He freezes about a foot and a half away from you. Then, it's like he shut down. A sound as if he was being powered down, as the entire armor freezes, and his head tilts down.
“Tornado!” M’gann’s shout is slightly panicked.
“What happened?” Conner’s squinting.
“He's powered down,” Wally notes, tone slightly curious.
“All functions off-line,” Robins got a frown as well, analyzing Red Tornadoes stats on his wrist-computer.
“Something doesn’t feel right,” you note, staring between the stats as well as Tornado.
“Guys, I'm sensing a low-level mystic force at play. I don't know if it caused his shutdown, but… now that I think about it, I was getting the same buzz off Batman,” Zatanna admits, and your frown deepens.
“Batman,” Robin repeats. “He called us kids. He never does that.”
You step forward, analyzing every aspect of Tornado that you could, Wally comes up behind you and does the same.
“Look,” Wally’s call pulls your attention. When he straightens up you can see something in his hands, “One of those bio-tech chips we confiscated off Cheshire.”
“Nightingale is right, something is not right,” Kaldur agrees. “Robin, Kid, Zatanna, Rocket, see if you can get Tornado back online,” he directs. “The rest with me to find Ro... Red Arrow.”
The team pauses despite Kaldur’s clear instruction, and slowly they look from him, to each other, and then to you. You know why they paused, even Kaldur seems frozen as he stares at you. His decision would put you into the field, it would allow you to look for Roy, to be there when the Team finds him. Going with them would also separate you from both Wally and Dick.
You must’ve stayed silent too long, “Birdy,” Wally’s voice seemed to echo as he called out your name.
“Sorry,” you mutter, looking up. “Kaldur’s right, we.. uh, we have to split up.”
Wally and Dick look at each other and then they look at you.
“It’ll be okay,” you tell them. “I have to find him, my brother, my responsibility. Plus, who knows him better than me?”
No one has an answer and you nod.
“Suit up,” you confirm once more before the team nods, and disperses accordingly.
Wally, Dick, and Kaldur hang back. The three of them don’t speak, but they’re exchanging looks with each other and with yourself. No one says a word, but you offer a look of your own, and then roll your eyes at them. They pause and as always, Wally’s the first to crack. He throws his hands up looking at the two other boys and then gesturing to you. When that doesn’t get the response he wants, he throws his hands up again, waving them around.
You smile softly, hands coming to Wally’s shoulders. You offer a forced lopsided smile, tilting your head to the side. Wally responds by shaking his head, and you tighten your grip. You give him a pleading look, Wally’s face scrunches but he finally stares at you head on. You nod, gently and he sighs before nodding back.
You pass along a feeling of comfort, trying to make him understand that it’ll be okay.
“Yeah,” Wally confirms, before walking off.
Kaldur offers you a nod of his head and you nod back, before he walks toward the bioship.
You pause for a second and take a breath, and then there’s a hand on your shoulder and you’re hit with concern, longing, and a need to protect. You take another breath and turn to face Dick. He’s staring at you for a second, he opens his mouth and then closes it. In the end he stares at you making a closed fist with his right hand and rubs little clockwise circles on his chest. Your ASL was passable, a skill that Dinah and Ollie thought was important to learn for the streets, it seems like Bruce thought the same for Dick. Sorry, that’s what he was saying.
You know what he’s sorry for, you knew it the second he grabbed your hand. You take your right hand, rub a circle with your palm against your chest, and then with a flat hand swipe above your temple with your fingertips, I know.
He shakes his head, the barest of a smile on his lips.
You offer a soft smile at Dick one last time before walking towards the locker room. You’re quick to grab your gear, and you’re silent until your in the bioship, and in the air.
“Old friend,” Kaldur’s voice is soft inside the bioship, but you’re forced to pay attention to him regardless.
“I know what you’re going to say,” you sigh.
“Oh?”
“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known,” you trail off.
“Wrong,” Artemis interrupts.
“Am I?”
“Yeah, we were all going to say it,” Conner scoffed.
You soften at that.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” you say sadly.
“How so?” M’gann’s voice is as soft as it has always been.
“Because I did know, a piece of me did, at least,” you tell them, gaze focusing on the clouds as you pass them by out the window.
“What?” Conner’s accusation cuts clear.
“I knew something was wrong. I could feel it. Ever since my abilities… he would get angry, over things he never used to. I just wrote it off, I- I knew it was wrong, it felt wrong, it didn’t feel like natural anger, it was sudden, it was triggered but not by anything I could see. I should’ve said something, should’ve told someone,” you admit to them.
“You had no reason to suspect ulterior machinations,” Kaldur countered. “And though I know it bothers you, you both had grown apart since the foundation of the team.”
“Yeah,” you nod, fingers tracing over the ring dagger you’d been fidgeting with, “maybe.”
WASHINGTON, D.C. December 31st, 09:06 EST
“Logs indicate Red Arrow zeta'd to the Hall from the Watchtower,” Artemis stated, “But he could be anywhere by now, I also was only able to read the Hall logs, the Watchtower ones have been classified,” she adds on.
Kaldur clears his throat and turns to you expectantly, “So, I kind of didn’t appreciate how Roy tried to cut ties with everyone when he went solo, so I might’ve done some digging…” you trail, typing in new coordinates.
“Digging?” Conner asks.
“Okay, fine, investigating, and tailing, and the whole package pretty much. I found his main apartment, and discovered that he had installed equipment caches in several major cities,” you relent.
Conner coughs out, “stalker,” before clearing his throat, and you roll your eyes.
“One is here,” you continue as the bioship comes to a stop over an apartment complex.
“So… who’s going down, because, uh… not it,” Artemis muses weakly.
“I am,” you assure her.
“We are,” Kaldur corrects.
You nod and you both stand, you readjust your utility belt and pull a sweatshirt over the top of your suit, and then you pull your leather jacket on as well. It looks inconspicuous enough, at least as much as it would ever for your needs.
You and Kaldur drop to the roof, the access door was unlocked and you made your way down one floor. Roy had gotten an apartment on the top floor. When you come upon the door you crouch down with your lock picks, but between your latent anxiety, and the need to find Roy, your focus is slightly skewed.
“Perhaps, this is not the time for stealth?” Kaldur offers sagely.
You sigh and hang your head, hiding your lock pick tools in their place under your sleeve once again, “yeah.”
“Shall I? Or, would you like to?” he asks, gesturing to the door.
“I will,” you nod, standing back up.
You take a breath and stare at the door, and then with a heafty amount of force you kick down the door, you manage to put in enough force to rock the door off a hinge, and when it clears your vision you’re greeted by Roy holding up his bow with two arrows notched.
You notice the way his hand dips a second as he realizes it’s you he’s got an arrow focused on, “How’s it hanging, Roy?” you ask, but there’s a tough edge to your tone.
“You know, business as usual, Birdy,” he huffs out, but he retrains the arrows on you both.
“We have not come to harm nor apprehend you,” Kaldur cuts in. “But the Team requires answers-”
“Me first,” Roy interrupts. “Tell me something you haven’t told anyone else… tell me who broke your heart.”
Your jaw drops, “Roy!” your tone is more chastising than it was before. You know why it’s necessary, but it’s a low blow for Kaldur, a very low blow.
Kaldur places a hand on your shoulder, “Tula. The girl I loved chose my best friend Garth over me,” he answers, and you can hear the fight to keep his voice level. “While the man I consider by best friend on the surface world aims an arrow at my chest.”
Roy moves and suddenly both arrows are pointed at you.
“Roy-” Kaldur’s tone turned dangerous, but to your credit your eyes narrow and you tilt your chin up at him daringly.
“E.T. phone home,” Roy says, and you don’t need to touch Kaldur to feel the confusion rolling off of him.
There’s a pang in your heart, Roy, this Roy, was pulling on one of the earliest decisions you all made, code phrases. Methods to promise sanity, self, but also a warning when necessary. They were all movie phrases, famous enough to remember, but mismatched enough that no one would be able to guess. You’d both decided on them after you’d returned from Atlantis and Dinah let you return to patrol.
“Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,” you whisper.
Roy’s entire body sags. The bow and arrows clatter to the floor as he drops to his knees, and you’re quick to drop with him. You land on your knees right in front of him.
“You’re killin’ me, Smalls,” you whisper once again to him.
“As if,” he shoots back, and you crush him in a hug.
The both of you clutch onto each other, you grip him tight just for the minute being. You hug him tight and he hugs back, and you revel in it. In it’s familiarity. He might have not been the Roy that was brought home to you, but he is the one you spent the last three years with, he is still your Roy. The one who helped you readjust to being back in Star City, the one who would drive you to school, and would tap you gently when you’d accidentally slip back into Atlantean. The one who would reassure you that life was going to be okay, who would sit beside your bed, who would hold your hand, who watched your back, he was your brother. Your brother, your responsibility.
Slowly you both re-centered, and then you hauled him up to the roof, and then all three of you were pulled back up into the bioship. It’s quiet when you’re all back.
“We’re clear,” you say quietly and there’s a collective breath let out.
Everyone settled into their seats and soon enough we were back in the air.
Kaldur doesn’t waste any time, “We were told you were the mole,” he explains and Roy puffs out a breath.
“But we have reason to doubt,” you quickly inserted.
“Forget doubt. I was the mole,” Roy states, and you let out an audible groan, staring up at the roof of the ship.
“Batman and Tornado said you’re a CADMUS clone, like me,” Conner admits.
Roy turns to look at you, and you offer a slight nod, “That explains it,” he nods with a sigh that makes him seem more tired than surprised. “I was a sleeper agent, pre-programmed to infiltrate the League…. I think Sportsmaster was my handler. He had a key-phrase, Broken Arrow… that could shut me down, put me in a hypnotic state to steal secrets for his superiors, or incorporate further programming. I'd then carry out all orders subconsciously completely unaware of what drove me.”
Roy paused and you stared back at him, “take me back?” you whisper to him and he shut his eyes and nodded once more before turning back to the rest of the team, specifically the three seated behind you.
“I think one of those orders was to focus suspicion on the three of you. I'm sorry,” he adds on.
“How did Batman discover this and prevent you from betraying the League?” Kaldur asks.
Roy pauses, and looks at you, “He didn't.”
“Fuck,” you sigh.
“Birdy,” Kaldur’s voice is level, and there’s a request in it to make sure you remain so as well.
“So what happened?” you ask, pulling yourself together.
“The entire League’s been put under mental domination via those chips you guys found,” Roy sighs, scrubbing at his face.
“The ones we got off Jade?” Artemis cut in.
“Yeah, he called ‘em Starro-tech, an alien bio-organism infused with nanotechnology and magic,” Roy explained.
“Nanotechnology and magic?” you repeat. “Artemis, in the Bayou, you said you saw-”
“Klarion, the Brain, Gorilla Mallah, and Professor Ivo,” she answers.
“If there was ever a trust that could pull something like that off…” you trail.
“What do they do? The chips?
“It shuts down the mind’s autonomy, allows the controller to reprogram the individual to suit their needs,” Roy explains.
“Wait…” Conner calls interrupting. “You said He called them, who’s he?”
Roy grimaces, looks around the ship and then straight at you, and you already don’t like where this is headed, “Savage,” he says and you don’t even make it a second before you explode.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” you shout. “VANDAL SAVAGE? WHAT THE FUCK!”
“Language,” Roy says automatically, and then he twitches, like he hadn’t meant to say it. “And I knew you weren’t going to like that.”
“But this chip, it affected everyone?” M’gann asked, and you had no doubt she was thinking about her uncle.
“This Starro-tech, it worked on super-powered humans, four flavors of alien, an android, even Doctor Fate,” Roy explained.
“Defeating all of you without a fight?” Conner asks.
“Indeed. A remarkable achievement. One not easily countered,” Kaldur points out.
“I'm sorry, but how is it that you are no longer enslaved?” M’gann’s the one to ask and your body tenses up.
“No Starro-tech, for starters. Just my CADMUS programming, and once I had satisfied its last parameter, my mind began to clear,” Roy admits. “I'm sure Savage planned to Starro-tech me, but he paused to bask… I escaped.”
You turn in your seat and look back at M’gann, urging her to understand, and luckily, she does. She nods at you with a gentle smile, “I promise, I can clean any residual programming from your mind,” M’gann says, reassuring you, despite the intention being directed at Roy.
“Linking both squads and de-camouflaging,” M’gann’s voice suddenly echoes in your head and you spot the super cycle as it moves into docking position.
“Great. Because we really need to compare notes,” Robin’s voice has an edge, and as you come face to face with him and the other half of your team, you spot Wally’s frown and notice Dinah.
“What the fuck?” your voice takes on it’s own lethal edge as your gaze jumps from your unconscious and tied up mentor to the rest of the team.
It took some time but eventually both halves of the team had been caught up, now the only think left was to figure out the next move.
“What if we reverse engineer the starro-tech?” Wally’s the one to make the suggestion and it has all of you pausing.
“Great idea, but how?” Artemis’ tone is dry but she makes a valid point.
It goes quiet and that’s when you have an idea.
“ti tha ginótan an rotoúsame ti vasílissa?" (what if we were to ask the queen?) the question echoes across the link but only one person can understand.
Kaldur blinks slowly and in a hesitant tone asks, “*Rota tin gia ti akrivos?*" (ask her for what exactly?)
Your lip quirks a bit, “*an boroúme dioikitís Giatrós V?*" (if we can commandeer Doctor V?)
You’re not sure what you were expecting but you’re not sure why you were surprised, Kaldur’s always backed your plans, “Pistévete óti o Red échei akóma ton arithmó tis Roquette?" (Do you think Red still has Roquette’s number?)
You offer a lopsided smile, “**Tha chreiastoúme óli ti voítheia pou boroúme na pároume**." (We’re gonna need all the help we can get.)
“Would someone like to clue those of us not fluent in Atlantean in?” Conner’s tone cuts through your conversation.
You share another look with Kaldur.
“It’s your plan,” he prods.
“Wally has the right idea, we have to reverse engineer the chip. We don’t stand a chance if we don’t,” you remind everyone.
“But you have a plan that will address that,” Robin realizes.
“Of course she does, when it comes down to it, our girl’s always got a plan,” Wally snorts, but by the way he scrubs at his face you realize he’s on edge.
You nod, “what do we know about the staro-tech?”
“Alien bio-organisim infused with nanotechnology and magic… what are you thinking?” Roy trails.
“I think you have the number for a nanotechnologies expert who owes us a favor, and I happen to know a few individuals who specialize in magic and science, in fact they run a whole conservatory, that teaches kids like us, well, like Kaldur,” you hint to everyone else.
“Doctor Roquette and Queen Meera,” Robin realizes.
“Alongside Doctor Vulko, who runs the Atlantean Science Center, he’s the Minister of Science for the kingdom,” Kaldur adds.
“Doctor Spence too,” Connor adds, “She worked for CADMUS, she probably can help reverse engineer the chips.”
“Which means there’s also three people we need to pick up, ASAP,” you point out.
Another silence fils the ship, Wally’s already shaking his head, and Rob’s still staring straight at you.
“We have to split up,” Rocket’s the one to state the obvious.
“Again?” Zatanna’s voice wobbles a bit.
You bite down hard on your lip to keep yourself focused.
“We have to, the quicker we get them, the quicker we fix this. We have to fix this,” you say, voice level.
“How do you want to handle it?” Robin’s the one to ask, his own voice level, but you can see the twitch in his hand.
Your lips tug down as you prepare to answer, because there’s only one possibility, “Superboy and Miss Martian will pick up Dr. Spence. Kid Flash and Robin will escort Red Arrow-” you don’t mean for your voice to crack but it does. “Will escort Red Arrow and retrieve Dr. Roquette.”
“You’ve got to be joking,” Wally’s scoff, clearly depicts what he thinks of your decision.
“Dude,” Robin’s quick to cut him off.
“And Aqualad and I will take the super cycle to go to Atlantis,” you finish. “Artemis, Zee, and Rocket will play support, and keep tabs on Canary. Please do not lose my mentor. Plus they can run background with RT.”
You’re met with silence.
“This is the plan, if someone has a better idea, speak up now, otherwise, you know what you have to do,” you swallow back the anxiety, and focus your gaze on Kaldur, you can’t look at anyone else, not right now.
You remember his words from earlier, to lean on him, and to allow him to support you. It was all so overwhelming, it’s all too much, but staring at Kaldur reminded you of the little girl who was barely 10 when she was dropped in Atlantis. The girl so full of rage she couldn’t sort through her own emotions. Kaldur knew how to help that girl center herself, taught her how to cope and handle things.
“Well if no one else is going to say it; I have some thoughts,” Wally scoffs again.
“Trust me, we know you do, Wall-Man,” Artemis’ dry tone actually puts a smile on your lips, a small quirk of a thing, but it works.
“I’m only taking constructive criticism at the moment,” you tag on, and your gaze finally flickers to Wally who is simply glaring at you.
You offer a shrug in response, and you can feel the heat of Wally’s glare, the discomfort radiating off of Dick, but you don’t have it in you right now to address it.
ATLANTIS December 31st, 13:13 EST
“Our friends are… displeased,” Kaldur notes cautiously once it’s just the two of you on the supercycle.
“I know,” you nod, and you did, you felt it in the air, rolling off your teammates, your friends, as you and Kaldur geared up to split off.
“What are you thinking, poulí?” the question weighs heavy on you.
“I am thinking that this is my only plan, K. I don’t have a back up if we should fail this time around,” you admit.
“Then it’s good we trust in your planning, old friend. Your plans have never led us astray thus far,” he muses.
“Define astray,” you scoff back, Kaldur lets a smile slip, and then a hand lands on your shoulder comfortingly.
“They believe in you, and so do I,” he reassures you. “This idea, utilizing our resources, it is a good plan.”
“Vandal Savage, Kaldur, it’s a big play we’re chancing at here,” you sigh, twisting your rings nervously.
“Yes, and we are making the most educated choices we can. Believe in yourself, poulí, just as we do.”
You nod silently doing your best to absorb Kaldur’s reassurances. Soon enough the Super-cycle begins to descend. It pauses part way submerged, and you reach out with the ring clad finger to touch the water. Kaldur is silent beside you as you ground yourself. You feel the current, the pull of the ocean, and firmly you say, “anapnéo,” the ring made from atlantean metal glows, and then with a tap to the Super-cycle it submerges completely.
The first breath is always a bit nerve wracking, it feels like you’re entirely out of practice, and therefore not prepared to breathe. But you do. You cautiously, slowly breathe in, and when it feels as normal as it does on land your body relaxes.
“pos niótheis poulí?" (how do you feel, Birdy?) Kaldur’s question jars your wandering thoughts back into the present.
“étoimo na cheiristeí ó,ti prépei na cheiristeí ,” (ready to handle what needs to be handled) you assure him and he nods.
Minutes pass and then you are confronted with the city of Atlantis, beautiful in all its glowing magic and technology. You smile at the city fondly and catch the wanting in Kaldur’s eye, this was him home, and for a year it had been your own. The two of you had developed your friendship in this city, it will always, without a doubt, be a very special place for you.
As the cycle passes through the gates and toward the conservatory, you push the melancholic nostalgia away, and do your best to focus in on the mission at hand, there was too much as stake to be distracted by memories of the past. As Kaldur disembarks, you follow, and the two of you make your way into the Conservatory of Magic.
MOUNT JUSTICE
December 31st, 15:42 EST
“So you need us to develop something that will work against, whatever magicked up alien technology that Mr. Big Bad, Vandal Savage is using against the Justice League?” Roquette’s tone was the same as it was when you first encountered her, and you share a look with Kaldur when you both notice it.
“The heroes have come to us for help, should we not so long as we are able?” Dr. Vulko, ever the voice of reason, and forever on the side of progress is the balm you didn’t realize you’d need.
“I agree, this is an opportunity to do good with the knowledge we have acquired over our years,” Dr. Spence’s agreement catches you off guard, but the pride and satisfaction rolling off of SB tells you this is exactly what he’d hoped for.
“It’s simple, Kaldur’ahm and Poulí told us what’s wrong, you’re either here to help, or they can show you the door,” Tulla’s blunt and to the point, and you have the choke down the snort as you stare appreciatively at the redhead, you notice that Kaldur’s doing the same, some things, you imagine, would never change.
You’d all regrouped at the Cave, scientists and specialists in hand. Tulla had been Queen Veera’s contribution and envoy as she could not leave Atlantis without a sane monarch, and especially not in a time where the King had been compromised. Each recruit had been given the details during their travel, but once they were all together, the gravity had seemingly begun to set in. Dr. Rouquette was as vibrant as she had been when you’d first met, despite that though, they had begun a prompt discussion on how the chip works, and a prefatory analysis on the confiscated chip.
“So do we think this is gonna work? Or should we be considering a back-up plan?” Rocket’s voice echoes though the open link and while the specialists continue their discussions, the team sends knowing looks to each other.
“this is the plan, the only plan,” you tell them seriously.
“Wait, seriously? You always have a back-up?” Artemis’ surprise is evident, and your lips twist down in response.
“Figures, considering her go-to has also been compromised,” Wally’s judgement is clear and your eye twitches in response.
“Sorry about that,” Zatanna’s voice is meek in response, and you catch the way Artemis, punches Wally in the arm, and his accompanying wince.
“So not your fault,” you finally cut in. “And I don’t hear you offering something else up, Wall-Man?” you state bitingly, shooting him a glare at which Wally winces again.
“To be fair, this was originally his idea,” Conner cuts in.
“Semantics,” Robin disagrees, “plus, Birdy’s the one with the connections to make it happen.”
“Gee, thanks, Rob. My genius and l feel so appreciated,” Wally scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“Right, so… back-up plan?” Rocket asks again.
“I don’t know! Short of contacting any non-affiliated heroes, or intergalactic organizations, I’m not sure what else we can do,” you sigh, a hand coming up to pinch at the bridge of your nose, while you work to secure your emotions and constrain your frustration.
“Intergalactic organizations?” Rocket repeats.
“OA,” the response is echoed by Wally, Rob, Roy, and Kaldur, you can’t help but notice this is the first time Roy was participating.
“OA,” you confirm, and then catching the confused look, on Rocket and Zatanna’s faces you add, “The Green Lantern Corps.”
“Oh,” Zatanna’s understanding is soft, as her eyes widen.
“We have a line to them?” Rocket asks, surprise evident.
“…We have potential avenues,” Robin supplies, defending your point while making eye contact with you.
“We do?” Artemis’ question is fair, and you hesitate, but your eyes lock with Roy, and then with Dick.
“Earth has another Green Lantern,” You remind the team.
“Is he not a part of the league?” Zatanna squints.
“…There were some concerns about his attitude and maturity,” Dick supplies cautiously.
“But they let Roy in?” the dig slips from Artemis’ thoughts, and by the look on her face you know she didn’t mean to project that particular thought.
You can’t help the very audible snort, and a hand comes up over your face in embarrassment as everyone turns to you.
You catch the small smirk on Dick’s face, and Wally’s chuckling a little bit too. And when Roy turns to you, betrayed, you can’t help but start to giggle, and when your avert your gaze, they land on Wally. Which really was the worst move because then you’re both laughing.
“Okay!” Roy huffs. “Laugh it up, Birdy,” he scoffs.
“Sor-” you try but burst into another fit, until you’re practically leaning on Kaldur to stay upright.
When you finally get control, you catch the small smile on Kaldur’s face, and even Roy’s scowl has faded a bit.
“Sorry,” you say seriously, bitting your lip and straightening up.
“Should we be worried?” Rocket asks, wide eyes on you.
“No, sorry, I just… whew, I needed a laugh, thanks Artemis,” you smile.
Artemis blushes a bit in response, “What were you going to say about the other Lantern?” she prompts, pushing the conversation back on track.
“Right, Guy Gardner,” you share. “Kind of a bully based on Canary’s files, it’s the reason he hasn’t been inducted. But he is a Lantern, and the ring did choose him. He’s based out of Baltimore, Maryland. If we fail here, we just need to get word to him, hopefully he’ll take it seriously,” you shrug.
“Reassuring,” Rocket laments flatly, and all you can do is shrug again.
“Kaldur’ahm, Poulí, I think we may have come to an understanding,” Vulko’s voice booms across the room, and your head snaps to him immediately.
“What do you need?” you ask, setting your shoulders, as the rest of the team turns to face the brain trust.
THE WATCHTOWER December 31st, 23:16 EST
Infiltrating the Watchtower was not something you’d ever thought you’d have to do. However, somehow, you really can’t find it in you to be totally surprised.
Dinah, now freed from Starro-Tech’s control, along with Roy and Red Tornado had gone in as a distraction, allowing the team to handle the rest. Part of you had been hesitant to let Roy out of your sight after finally finding him. Not to mention Dinah. You’d twitched a little too violently, when she volunteered to go back, and Roy and Dick had both given you cautious looks as a response.
The waiting was the worst though.
You watched as M’gann, Kaldur, and Connor broke through the wall where the Bioship had docked. Robin kept an eye on the alarms and scanners the entire time, covering the Team’s tracks as he went.
Eventually, it was time.
“RT did it. Wirelessly bypassed security for us as soon as he arrived. Savage shouldn't know we're here,” Robin confirmed, once we’d all regrouped inside the watchtower.
Aqualad nodded, before casting a quick glance at the rest of the team, “move out.”
“Currently tracking five League members between us and Savage,” Robin shares as you and Kaldur begin leading everyone though.
“Which ones?” Artemis’ tone is dubious, even through the link, and you can’t really say you blame her.
“Plastic Man, Hawkman, the Atom, Captain Atom, and… well,” Robin pauses on the last one and you turn back to look at him. “Green Arrow.”
The team pauses, as they wait for the next move. There were nine of you, which meant almost everyone could double up, almost.
A quick glance at Kaldur tells you he was thinking the same thing.
“Here’s the plan…” you speak first, “We work quietly and quickly. Take every opportunity to knock as many of the Leaguers out as we can before Savage and his cohort baddies realize what’s happening. Artemis and KF, you two take Plastic Man. SB and Rob, Hawkman. Zatanna and Miss M, the Atom. Aqualad and Rocket, Captain Atom. Leave GA to me,” the team nods, but once again you notice their hesitation.
“What?” you press.
“Are you sure you want to handle GA? One of us can do it,” Wally offers tentatively.
“No. He’s mine. But Rob, I could use a favor…”
Armed with one of Robin’s recording birdarangs you split off from the group. You’re following your map to where GA’s icon is moving, and periodically you get updates from the rest of the team.
First it’s KF and Artemis.
“Plastic Man in gassed, and chipped,” you can practically hear Wally’s smirk as he reports in.
You turn another corner.
“Hawkman’s chipped too,” Robin reports.
“Probably going to be out for a bit. I might’ve hit him a little too hard,” Superboy admits.
You pause when you hear Oliver’s footsteps. Spotting the crates, you launch yourself up. Walking on the balls of your feet, you climb up, silently.
“We got the Atom,” Zatanna confirms.
You catch sight of a support beam, a few feet above you, and launch yourself up with as much strength as you can muster. You manage to grab hold, and then you pull your body up, until you’re balanced on your feet, walking the beam.
“Captain Atom is incapacitated, but chipped,” Kaldur’s the next one to confirm, which just left you.
You pull the chip from your belt, as well as the birdarang. Following Oliver’s path ahead, you toss the birdarang, it lands solidly in the wall.
A beat passes.
And then a second.
And then-
“Ha, Ha, Ollie, over here!”
Your giggle echoes down the hall, and Oliver’s quick to turn to the sound.
“NG, status?” Robin’s voice rings through the link but you ignore it.
You take your grapple line and wrap it around the support, making sure it’s snug in place, before attaching the line to your belt.
“Birdy, you copy?” Wally this time.
Oliver’s almost in position, and so you count.
one.
two.
three.
You hold your breath as you lean back.
For a second you’re falling, and it’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Luckily, the speaker starts again.
“Ha, ha. Ollie, over here!”
The recording covers the sound of the grapple going taught.
“Nightingale, report in!” Kaldur, and he’s serious.
You get about two seconds before Oliver realizes the birdarang’s what’s making the sound, and you’re suspended in the air, halfway between the ground and the support beams of the Watchtower.
The chip, which you’d been flipping around your finger’s is poised between your index and middle fingers, and right as Ollie turns, baring the side of his neck, you toss it. You throw it the way Dinah taught you to throw a shuriken.
The balance had practically been the same.
It hits Ollie and there’s a second when he turns to you, arrow drawn.
And then he collapses.
You tug on the grapple cord and it slackens. You land on your feet, twisting the cord back into your grapple as you walk up to the downed Green Arrow.
“GA’s chipped,” you finally say, tuning back into the link.
“We’re not splitting up anymore,” Wally says quickly.
You roll your eyes.
“Don’t be ridiculous, KF-”
“You didn’t answer us!” Artemis cuts in.
This time you scoff.
“They have to realize by now,” Robin speaks up.
“He’s right, we need to move. Zatanna and Miss Martian, you two head for the dock Zeta, Rocket and I will join you,” Kaldur decides. “The rest of you head up.”
“On the way,” Zatanna confirms.
You’d started making your way back up, sticking to the support beams as much as possible, so far, you’d avoided any further League interactions.
“That’s Dr. Fate, Icon, and Captain Marvel taken care of,” Zatanna speaks up, and you pause for a second.
“Too bad Cure-tech doesn't work as fast as Starro-tech. We could use these guys,” Rocket huffs, and your lips quirk up, she’s not wrong.
“It is a small miracle Queen Meera and Doctors Roquette, Spence, and Vulko were able to re-engineer a cure and vaccine at all,” Kaldur reminds her.
“And their combined 8 PhDs,” you muse.
Before anyone can respond to your joke, KF interjects, “If you guys aren't busy...”
Your breath catches, but Kaldur’s already on the move, “On my way. You three rendezvous with Robin and Superboy.”
You pick up your pace as well, and are only partially paying attention when Zatanna gives her confirmation.
“Uh, I'll be right behind you,” she offers.
You manage to arrive at the main deck in time to Batman hit Robin.
“I am so not turbed,” is how you announce yourself, as your jump down from the level you’re on, using your grapple to loop down to the one where Robin is.
“Yeah, me neither,” he promises.
You’re on your feet in time to fall in step with both Superboy and Robin, both seem to be smarting a bit after taking on Batman and Superman, understandably.
“We're not gonna beat them one-on-one,” Robin finally announces.
“Plan B, then,” Superboy confirms.
“And I thought my contingencies were drastic,” you manage to joke out before taking Connor’s hand.
Conner grabs a hold of you with one hand, and Robin with the other. Using his strength he spins you both, before launching you one after the other at Batman.
You land first, grabbing a handful of his cape to pull him with your momentum.
Robin’s body crashes into you both a second later, and then the three of you go into the wall. You can feel your bones rattle from the impact, but when you slide down, you manage to grab a hold of a chip as Robin hold’s Batman steady.
You place the chip, before changing your stance to drop into a roll. You pop up on one leg, escrima sticks in hand, and Robin lands crouched beside you.
You barely have a second to catch your breath before you hear Superman and Superboy go into a wall of their own.
You both take off and you hesitate when Robin reaches to his belt.
“You sure about this?” you ask as you both run up to them.
Superboy manages to grunt out a, “Just do it!” as he strains to hold Superman in place.
You grab hold of another chip while Robin opens a box.
The green light reflects off their faces, and you watch as it seems to drain them both. Conner and Superman both start sliding down, neither of them fighting anymore as they go.
As soon as Superman falls, you’re quick to place the chip, and once you do, Robin’s shutting the lead lined box tight.
You sit back on your ass and let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, turning back to check on Conner, who was pulling himself up to sit against the wall beside you.
He lets out a groan, looking at you and then at Robin, “Ugh. Kryptonite… hurts,” he admits, and you can’t help the scoff that slips past your lips.
It brings a smile to Robin’s face though.
“Which is why,” he begins, offering a hand to Conner. “Batman keeps it in an overwhelmingly impenetrable vault at the Batcave,” he explains, pulling SB back to his feet.
“Overwhelmingly impenetrable, huh?” you smirk up at the two.
Both boys smile down, offering you a hand.
“Well, more like a whelmingly penetrable vault,” Robin corrects.
You snort, taking their hands, and they’re quick to put you back on your feet as well.
“Let’s go. Vandal Savage awaits,” you remind them, and the two nod at you, before the three of you take off toward’s the main viewing deck, where the main Zeta point was for the Watchtower.
Unfortunately you get there just in time to watch Vandal Savage, Klarion, and his familiar, Teekle, disappear through a portal. Wally skidding into where they had been not even a second before.
You redirect yourself over to where Dinah and Roy are unconscious on the floor.
Wally whizzes up to you and grabs your spare de-programing chips, placing them on the leaguers who were up here, before sliding back up to the rest of you.
“Congratulations, Team. You have won the day,” Red Tornado announces, and you let out a tired chuckle at the thought.
None of you have an opportunity to respond though, because in the next second, a holoscreen appears.
“Happy New Year, Justice League,” the computer announces.
You don’t catch what Wally said, but when you turn to him, he’s holding Artemis, and they’re kissing.
Your lip twitches up, and then Connor and M’gann too.
“I’m liking this Team more every day,” Rocket decides, smirking as she kisses Kaldur’s cheek.
You roll your eyes and gag at Robin and Zatanna, both of whom smother their laughs. Zatanna looks away as she tries to keep her composure, but Robin stares back at you.
“Milkshakes?” you mouth to him while no one’s watching.
“Definitely,” he mouths back.
“Human customs still elude me,” Red Tornado announces in response to the kissing, and you can’t hold back your snort.
THE WATCHTOWER January 1st, 00:42 EST
It took some time, but eventually the Leaguer’s began to wake up, and slolwy they all arrived back in the entry deck.
“Everything I thought I knew about myself was a lie. I'm not a hero or a sidekick. I'm a traitor, a pawn,” Roy’s tone was low, dejected, in a way you’re not sure you’d ever heard it.
Dinah reaches out, placing a hand on his arm, “Roy, it'll be all-”
You wince when you watch Roy pull back from her. Bitting too far into your lip and tasting blood.
“I'm not Roy! I don't know what I am. All I know is I need to find the real Roy. I need to rescue Speedy,” he counters.
You’d been too anxious to sit when everyone else had. electing instead to stand across the table from Roy while Ollie and Dinah took the seats on either side of him.
“We’ll help you. The team I mean. And if not, then I will. We’ll find him,” you cut in, licking over your split lip.
“Guardian is already searching Cadmus,” Batman add, reassuringly.
Ollie had been unusually quiet.
“We should take Ro- Red Arrow, home, at least, for now,” Dinah decides.
You caught her slip up, everyone at the table probably did, but no one commented.
“Of course, all four of you can go,” Batman nods.
You catch the tonal shift, and you hesitate.
You’re not sure you would’ve noticed it if not for the rest of your abilities, but you know there’s something else.
“I’d like to stay,” you announce and everyone turns to you. “Just for a bit,” you backtrack, “I want to make sure the Team’s set, and I need to speak with Aquaman about how we deconstructed the chips,” you expound.
Roy looks like he wants to bolt, not that you balme him.
Ollie’s holding himself stiffly.
Dinah looks a little queasy at leaving you here on your own.
“I’ll be fine,” you reassure them.
“I’ll escort her, to Arthur, and then back to the Zeta’s,” Batman offers, and you notice as Dinah realxes, but only a little.
“Not too long,” she adds, though it’s perfunctory, you can tell.
“Promise,” you nod.
She smiles once more at you, weak and strained, before she and Ollie take Roy toward the Zeta’s
You wait until they’re through before you turn back to Batman. Robin and Kaldur had taken the seat on either side of him, and the four of you were the only ones left in the room.
Your hands land on the table with a loud smack that echoes thorough the room, and all three sets of eyes shift to you.
Yours, however, are focused on Batman, “Something else is wrong,” you say.
You’re not asking, you’re not, because you know.
Batman hesitates, looking to Robin for a second before turning back to you, and then nodding.
“The entire League was under Savage's spell for just over a day,” Robin begins, sharing a holoscreen with you. “We've accounted for most of that time. But these six went missing for a full 16 hours we can't account for.”
You stare at the screen. Batman, Superman, Green Lantern; John Stewart, Hawkwoman, Wonder Woman, and Martian Manhinter.
Powerhouses, all six. Each in their own right, different skills, different tactics. It’s terrifying to think what they could have accomplished for Klarion and Vandal Savage in sixteen hours, the implications were limitless.
“Sixteen hours,” Batman repeats, “what did we do?”
STAR CITY January 1st, 02:04 EST
It’s another hour or so by the time you make it back to Star City. You’d talked with King Arthur, shared with him how you and Kaldur had gone to Atlantis, and that Queen Meera had been appraised. And then you’d circled back to the cave to shower and change.
It’s two in the morning when you make it home, and frankly, you’re surprised to see Roy still up.
Dinah and Ollie weren’t around so you assumed they’d gone to bed. They probably thought he had too.
“Hey,” you greet lamely.
“Hi,” is all he offers back.
You drop your gym bag down by the door, and replace the lock before walking over to the sofa. You drop down beside Roy, but you leave a healthy space, not wanting to crowd him. You turn, tucking one leg under you, so that you can face him better.
“I know it’s a stupid question, but I’m going to ask anyways,” you begin, but he doesn’t look at you, focused instead on something just past your head. “How are you?”
He lets out a snort, but it’s dry, and sad, and you can hear it for what the answer it offers. Stupid question.
“I don’t know…” he says after a minute of silence. “But… I don’t really know anything anymore,” he adds on.
You bite on your lip again, wincing when your teeth make contact with the split lip you’d forgotten about.
“Fair,” you offer, agreeing.
“It’s fine,” he huffs, shrugging you off.
Your eyes narrow at that, it was a lot of things, fine isn’t one of them.
“Roy-”
“Don’t call me that!” he hisses, and you pause.
“Okay,” you concede, swallowing thickly. “What should I call you?” you prompt instead.
“I- I.. I don’t know, just.. I’m not Roy Harper, I’m not!” the last words come out as a sob, and you flick the piece of you that wants to give him space the recesses of your mind, scooting closer and wrapping an arm around his middle the best you can.
“How about Red, at least until we figure it all out?” you offer instead.
“Stop,” he cries. “Stop being nice, and understanding, I replaced him!” Roy’s voice is low, and sad, and you know he wants to make his point, but seems not to want to wake up Dinah or Ollie.
“She’s asleep so I’m going to say the bad words she tries to keep me from using,” you begin, delighted when it gets a wet snort out of the redhead. “But fuck that,” you say seriously, and he snorts again.
Finally turning to look at you, though he’s stuck with it, seeing as you’re practically pressing into his side.
“Look, I’m not blaming Ollie but I’m sure as shit not blaming you either. And I think it’s okay to acknowledge the fact that what you went through in the last few days has been harsh. That it was thirty-one flavors of traumatizing. God, Red! I’d be a fucking mess if it were Dinah coming after me, but it’s not your fucking fault or theirs!” you huff out.
“You owe Dinah at least $20, for just the last minute alone,” is all he says in response.
You scoff.
“Look, Roy or not, you’re my brother too. You have been for the last three years, and just because you’re a clone, it doesn’t make it less true,” you say seriously, and he goes quiet.
You let out a long sigh.
“You should get some sleep, tomorrow’s gonna be a long day,” you finally offer after the silence stretches.
“Yeah,” he huffs, standing up.
You stand after him, tugging him into a tight hug, that he doesn’t seem sure of how to respond to.
“Goodnight, Red,” you say gently.
“Goodnight, (y/n),” he whispers, before peeling you off of him, and walking away.
STAR CITY January 1st, 10:22 EST
You slept horribly.
The worst ever, actually.
Okay probably not, but it was still pretty bad.
The light at the end of the tunnel where the two hours of no questions you’d managed to wrangle out of Dinah.
You were already in a booth when he walked in.
Sat with your eyes closed, leaning against the linoleum seats, and when the overhead bell of the entry door rings, you blink them open in time to see Dick find you.
You offer him a muted lazy smile, and he gives you one in return.
“Hey,” he greets.
“Hey,” you say, sliding down.
He takes the invitation, settling down beside you instead of across from you.
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence. It seems you both were talked out after the events of the previous day.
Eventually, Mrs. Lenetii brings out a milkshake for you both, cooing over you, before siappearing to take care of another table.
Your head lands on his and his fingers interlace with yours.
“Bad night?” he asks after you’d both been ignoring your milkshakes for too long.
“yeah,” you nod.
“Yeah,” he repeats.
Slowly you lift your head.
You’re close, the two of you. His face is right there, his lips.
He’s staring at you with the wide blue eyes, and you wonder if he’s suddenly as nervous as you were.
You thought of Wally and Artemis at Midnight, of M’gann and Conner, even Rocket. But they were all older. You and Dick were the youngest on the team. It had never felt like it more until right now.
“Um-” he stutters out. “I… uh.. Can I?” he trails off.
“Have you.. ever?” you question back.
Neither of you have moved apart though.
“No,” he admits. “You?”
“No,” you share.
He offers you a shy smile, and it’s the first one in almost forty hours that doesn’t feel strained.
When he tilts down, you move up. There’s no fireworks. And your noes’ bump, and you giggle. And then your teeth clack, and he laughs. It’s awkward and kind of strange, and not at all what the movies make it sound like it’ll be, but it was your first kiss, and it was his too, and it tastes a little like the chocolate and strawberry milkshakes you’d both been sipping on, and all of it together makes it kind of magical in an of itself.
No matter what happened next, what came next, you had Dick, and you knew he had your back.
everything tags: @butterfly-skinnylegend
dc taglist: @batarella @loninctzencarat @escapenightmare @uh-oh-howd-i-get-here
cnng taglist: @babymango-writes @smile-more19 @bruiscdlikeviolets @truly-dionysus @farfromjustordinary @sometimeseverythingsucks @dweeb-central @lucy-roo @casedoina @cipheress-to-k-pop @anonomano @seninjakitey @whelmedparker @officiallydarkgeek @midnxghtblue @unini @blackwhiteandshadesofgradient @dontmesswithbeebo @raggedyoldwitch @bouqet-of-gay @duckmylife18 @kendallambrosio @notslaybabes @torchbearerkyle @cynthiarose07 @mono--moonchild @emo-space-tea @notsostraightweeb @sassyspanishartist @ahyeonah @acceber1313 @onepieceformeplease @whatislifeandhowdoidoit @luvelyxp @lovelyartemisa @evermoore580 @mischiefmanaged71 @cryingnotcrying @aces-tattooartist @we-flower-fan @awkward-youtube-trash @laurcad123 @sanovr @feverish-dove @lolsnacks
#codename: nightingale#cnng#yj#young justice#young justice x reader#young justice imagine#dc#dc imagine#sidekick!reader#dick grayson x reader#robin x reader#black canary#yj team#dick grayson#robin#wally west#kid flash#aqualad#kaldur’ahm#m’gann m’orzz#miss martian#superboy#conner kent#artemis#artemis crock#zatanna#daisy’s fics#cnng season 1#cnng s1 e25#cnng episode
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Infection (Arthur Nightingale X Reader)
My Masterlist
You can't get sick...right? You're a child of the void, immune to simple bacterial viruses. But yet when you pull into the Mall's garage one day, head throbbing and body aching, you can't help but wonder if that's actually true. To make matters even worse you've been so busy running errands and missions for the Hex that you haven't been keeping an eye on the calendar; it's closer to the end of the time loop than you thought. Arthur's the first to remind you, and the first to notice your change in health.
(WARNINGS) - Graphic Descriptions of Flu like symptoms - Female Drifter (she/her pronouns used)
Guess who got sick right before new years eve and wrote this as a way to make themselves feel better because they're missing out on all the fun parties
I'm still getting a grasp on Arthur's character and I also wrote this while extremely sick so sorry for any mistakes/out-of-character moments
Banners by @strangergraphics
The mission had gone as usual, no kinks or hiccups, smooth sailing as you and your squad mowed down techrot hoard after hoard, the smell of burnt acid and chitin-filled technological carapaces burying the under levels of the old mall. But at some point, your trigger finger began to lag, your steps became staggered and you could feel phantom sweat coat your forehead from within the safety of your warframe. You were falling behind. They wouldn’t leave you, but they wouldn't wait for you either. So you forced your feet to keep moving, willing the energy to keep flowing through your warframe to fend off the techrot surrounding you. By the time you made it back to the garage, you wanted to collapse.
You left your frame next to your atomicycle, not having the energy to pilot the suit even another step. The bundle of supplies you had brought back for the Hex felt like a bag of concrete on your shoulder, threatening to topple you over as your knees screamed in protest, your muscles aching right down to your bones. You were so ready to just trudge up to the backroom and fall into the nearest couch you could find. Luckily, by some small grace, help had arrived. You heard the sliding doors that separated the garage from the rest of the mall glide open, metallic footsteps clicking against the tile floor.
“You’re not usually gone this long. Everything go alright?” You heard him ask, his accent coating over the forming headache in the back of your mind like warm drizzled honey.
You sighed. You didn’t want to snap at him, but you were in so. Much. Pain. Standing on your feet physically hurt. “Everything went fine, Arthur. Can you take these and distribute them, please? I need to...lie down. For a moment.” You kept your voice sweet and plastered a soft smile on your face as you handed the bag of supplies in his direction. He hesitated, his brow furrowing as he studied you. He knew you; ever since you had first arrived you never stopped, never slowed down, always bouncing to the next mission or next bounty, so why now, of all times, were you stopping to take a rest? There was something off, but it was so hard to tell with you. You weren’t built like him, or like he used to be anyway, you weren’t exactly human. He couldn’t read you like he could other people.
“Are you…feeling alright, love?” He took the bag from you, lessening the weight on your body, and immediately you sighed in relief. Your eyes flickered to the door, eager to book it towards the backroom now that you were free from your last responsibility and could finally crash, but Arthur stood in your way, and it was clear he had no intention of moving until you answered his question.
“I’m fine, really. I’m immune to everything, remember? Child of the void and all that. I’m just tired. After some sleep I’ll be right back to normal, promise. You worry too much.” You spoke quickly and then kissed him on the cheek, getting a satisfactory answer out as fast as possible and leaving him no room to argue as you dashed off towards the door. Hopefully, he wouldn’t chase you down so you could actually take that nap you so desperately wanted.
You made it to the backroom in record time, flopping face-first onto the nearest soft surface you could find and passing out as soon as your head made contact.
It wasn’t long though before you woke up retching, a wet cough rattling your chest and scratching your throat on the way out. You groaned, sitting up and leaning back against the back of the couch. You blinked against the lights above you, pulling the blanket that covered your arms up over your head…which definitely hadn’t been there when you had fallen asleep. You poked an eye out, looking around the room, but no one else was there with you. Well, no other people. Your eyes landed on your kubrow who had snuggled up next to the foot of the couch nearest you, curled into a ball, a note laid next to their feet. You reached down to pick it up, scritching their fur as a reward for safeguarding the note for you when you did so. They sighed contently in response.
The white of the paper was blinding to your straining eyes, your headache having only increased from earlier, and his fancy scrawled handwriting didn’t help -you figured it had to be a Britannic thing, Eleanor wrote the same way-, but you managed to decode the note.
You looked cold. Text me when you wake up, team’s taken off the rest of today. I’m all yours. -A
You couldn’t help but smile underneath your little blanket cocoon. It took an extraordinary amount of effort but you stood up, your knees wobbled and your back ached but you willed yourself to stay upright, stumbling your way over to your POM-2 PC. You pushed the on button, the screen flickering to life, making you outwardly hiss as the blue light assaulted your eyes and shot to the very back of your skull like a laser. But you pushed forward, ignoring the pain, and clicked on Arthur’s chatbox.
Hey, A <3
Broadsword is typing…
You’re awake. I take it you got my note then?
I did. Something special going on I don’t know about? You never let the team take days off.
Broadsword is typing…
Check your calendar, love.
Broadsword has gone offline.
You squinted in confusion, a small flash of panic grabbing hold of your heart. Had you forgotten something important? You clicked off of the chat page and onto the built-in calendar with the PC, the boxes flashing onto the screen. They were all greyed out, you had reached the end of another month, nothing special there. But then you saw it. December on the top of the screen. December 31st. Today was the end of the time loop. New Year’s Eve.
Metallic footsteps sounded off of the wooden floorboards behind you. You were still facing the PC, dumbstruck by your discovery, nothing but a mass of blanket from his point of view. He came up behind you and snaked his hands around your waist, slotting his head into the crook of your neck, though he was met with a mess of fluffy blanket instead of your warm skin. His eyes flicked between your face and the PC’s screen still brought up on the greyed-out calendar. “Figure out what today is, then?” He whispered.
You leaned back into Arthur’s chest, the heat radiating off of his warframe a welcoming comfort through your blanket.“I didn’t realize.” You spoke, answering his question, but yet you didn’t recognize your own voice. Your eyes widened at the unexpected sound, a hoarse croaking noise as the words scratched out of your throat. Arthur pulled his head away from your shoulder and spun you around as soon as he heard it too, forcing you to face him, his hands now on your shoulders and a concerned look on his face as his brow furrowed. A chill ran over your body at the abrupt removal of his warmth from your back, causing you to shiver, a motion that didn’t go unnoticed by Arthur. He was looking over you, studying you. You pulled the blanket closer around you, becoming sheepish under his gaze. He took in everything he hadn’t noticed before in addition to your recent shiver and scratchy voice; the way your eyes seemed to sink into your face surrounded by dark circles, the unusual dullness in your complexion, and the way both your shoulders and your spine seemed to slump towards the floor as if the weight of a million bricks rested upon you.
A small smirk crawled over his face, his assumptions from earlier now being undeniably confirmed. “So, ‘child of the void that’s immune to everything’ huh?”
You sniffled, sticking your nose into the air. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your voice scratched out like a destroyed record, the words catching in your throat and making you hack and cough, breaking whatever semblance of composure you were trying to feign. You brought your elbow up to your face to catch the cough, the fuzzy blanket encompassing everything as you moved. Arthur carefully dug his fingers into the muscles of your shoulders and neck as you coughed and retched up the fluid in your lungs, the gentle pressure a soothing distraction from the pain coating your throat with every new breath you took. Eventually, you stopped, now looking exhausted from the effort, and you couldn’t help but collapse against his chest, your head finding the crook of his neck. Your breathing became ragged against the metal platings and exo-flesh of his neck, though he couldn’t feel it the sound of it alone made concern worm its way to his heart. He didn’t think about it often, he didn’t want to unless he had to, honestly; but moments like this were blatant reminders of just how fragile you were compared to him. He sighed and curled his arms around you, holding you against him and running his hands up and down your back comfortingly. “Hm. Sounds to me like you’re sick, if I had to guess.”
“Ugh.” Was all you could muster for a response, the sound reverberated through your chest instead of your already painful throat. He reached down and hooked his hands under your thighs, pulling you up and bundling you into his arms so he could carry you. You made no protest to his actions, immediately wrapping your legs and arms around his torso, albeit weakly. He carried you back over to the couch, settling down with you in his lap, the blanket not forgotten about and cocooned around your shoulders. You huddled into the warmth radiating off of his mechanical body as another shiver crawled over your spine, causing you to shake. He let his hands roam your back absentmindedly, working his fingers against your muscles gently and every so often letting one of them wander upwards towards your hair, carding his fingers through the strands soothingly.
Though the quiet moment didn’t last for long as his ears twitched, picking up the sound of footsteps coming up the metal staircase that separated your living space from your workshop. He instinctively tensed, his eyes whipping to the doorway as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, ready to protect you at a second's notice. The mall was a safe zone, he knew that in the back of his mind, but he always prepared for the worst. The need to protect you, especially now given how weak you were in your current state, greatly outweighed any rationality to his thoughts. You were oblivious to everything happening, your eyes long since being closed ever since he had sat down with you.
“You two are adorable.” He heard in his head, his guard dropping as he saw both his sister and Aoi poke around the corner. She had been listening when his instincts had kicked in.
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t you two knock?”
“Don’t you two answer your comms?” He heard in his head again, a teasing smile on Eleanor’s face.
“Didn’t hear them go off. Sorry.” He explained.
“You, not paying attention to your comms? What’s got you so sidetracked?” Aoi retorted, though her face showed she was teasing as well. Eleanor, however, had already found the answer to Aoi’s question. Her face fell when she saw you clinging onto Arthur’s chest, your breathing harsh and unnatural and your hair plastered to your forehead by sweat. She knelt down in front of him, studying you for signs of something she had long since forgotten even existed.
“Is she sick?” She asked him telepathically.
Aoi had also heard the question, catching up on the details laid out before her. She sat down on the other side of the couch, her brow furrowing and a small frown adorning her lips. “Can she even get sick?”
“Apparently,” Eleanor answered in their minds, half sarcastically. “Is there anything we can do?”
“What could we do? We don’t have a cure, she’s in no condition to go back to her time and retrieve one, that’s even if they’ve discovered one.” He ran through options in his head, none of them seeming feasible.
“So…what? We just let it run its course? She seems…miserable.” Aoi’s voice was laced with sympathy. You had done so much for them, it felt awful not being able to help you in return.
“I don’t think we have any other choice, unfortunately.” They could hear the pang of guilt in Eleanor’s words as they echoed in their heads, her lips parting in a regretful sigh as she stood up.
“What did you two stop by here for, anyway?” He asked, his eyes flicking to you as you shifted in his arms, but you were still fast asleep.
“We were going to gather in the commons to celebrate the countdown, you know, since we avoided annihilation and all that this year, we figured why not, and we were going to ask if you and Drifter wanted to join us, but…” Aoi explained, her voice trailing off towards the end as her eyes landed on the bundle of blanket that was you in Arthur’s lap.
“I doubt she’d feel up to a party and I’d rather not leave her here alone, so if it’s all the same to you lot I think I’ll stay here with her for the night.” Both women gave him looks of understanding to his reply, but as soon as Arthur had answered your eyes fluttered open and your head shot up, instantly causing you to go dizzy from your sudden movement and you had to place a hand against his chest to stabilize yourself. But that didn’t stop you.
“No, Arthur, you should go.” You looked at him, your words croaking out just the same as they had before, startling the two women who hadn’t heard the severity of your sickness yet.
“I’m not leaving you here by yourself.” He retorted, brown and white eyes burrowing into yours. He knew it was selfish to argue with you when you were less than healthy, you stood no chance at winning, but he didn’t care. Not when it came to looking after you.
Eleanor and Aoi took that as their cue to leave before the conversation got any more heated. “If you do decide to join us, you know where you can find us,” Aoi told the two of you before standing up and making way for the door.
“Take care of her,” Eleanor told her brother inside of his head, a message only he could hear, as she followed Aoi out.
You waited until you heard the familiar click of the backroom door shutting before trying to bicker with the man in front of you. “You deserve to celebrate.” You told him, fighting against the hoarseness in your throat to get your point across.
“And you don’t? We'd still be dead on the floor of that reactor room if you hadn’t intervened. I won’t leave you here to celebrate alone if I have a say about it.” He brushed the sweat-stricken hair off of your forehead as he spoke.
You huffed, the noise sounding more like a wheeze. “You’re stubborn, Nightingale.” You wanted to cross your arms, to pout, to argue back and force him to spend time with his friends instead of wasting his night away in a stuffy old room. But you barely had enough energy to keep your head up as it was.
He couldn’t help but laugh, a ghost of a smile gracing his lips. “So I’ve been told.”
You didn’t remember falling back asleep, or even when you had laid your head back down onto Arthur’s shoulder, but the next thing you knew he was gently squeezing your hand, trying to wake you. You stirred for a moment, your eyelids fluttering as you came back to reality. “Wake up, love.” You heard him whisper into your ear. But it was then that all of the pain came flooding back, hitting you all at once. You groaned, feeling the stiffness in your bones and the aches throbbing in your muscles. Though you were grateful that your headache had at least subsided, you discovered that your throat still felt like sandpaper every time you swallowed, causing you to wince from the pain. You slowly raised your head up, coming face to face with Arthur. He had a small smile stuck on his face and you were caught off guard when he tilted his head and kissed you, his lips gentle against yours, as if too much pressure would shatter you like glass. You quickly leaned into it though, weakly wrapping an arm around his neck and inwardly smiling as you felt his hair tickle your cheekbones. He pulled away far too soon for your liking. “Happy New Year, love.”
You blinked in confusion for a moment before turning your head towards your POM-2; sure enough, the usual black screen was now flashing big green numbers, “00:00”. The loop had been completed. Soon it would all start again. Whether or not Arthur would still be there with you come morning was now a decision left in your hands.
#my writings#warframe#arthur warframe#arthur nightingale#arthur nightingale x reader#warframe 1999#warframe x reader
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I just need Chief to treat Nightingale right. After Chief finding out that Nightingale is in love with her. They gently kiss and make out. Gently making love with Chief just pampering and loving Nightingale.
Chief, Reader, or anyone else would definitely need to treat her right. Nightingale is always so busy dealing with about everything in the MBCC, and that can come with a heavy burden on her shoulders and endless stress. Especially when she has to deal with the Chief specifically getting kidnapped so much, leaving her to run things in their wake.
I bet it's by the fourth or fifth kidnapping, or when Chief comes back from the dead, that Nightingale finally caves in and confesses her love for her. She swore to herself that she'd never say anything, knowing how close you were with numerous other Sinners. But when she finally sees you again after almost working herself to death in your wake, she can't stop herself from kissing Chief.
It leaves the Chief surprised because the kiss is unexpected, but right when she is going to kiss back, Nightingale pulls away. The adjutant is quick to apologize profusely while slipping in her confession. She doesn't shut up until the Chief kisses her again, leaving her all but short circuiting. The kiss is so gentle and tender.
Once they pull away, Chief will whisper an invite to Nightingale to come back to her room, and the woman doesn't hesitate to accept. The sex is gentle and loving as Chief tops, showing her genuine appreciation to her adjutant with every kiss and touch she gives her.
It's safe to say Chief will definitely treat Nightingale right.
#*:・゚✧*:・゚sins inbox#*:・゚✧*:・゚sins thirsts#path to nowhere#path to nowhere smut#nightingale#nightingale x reader#nightingale x you
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Some things can only be cultivated under pretenses [Satoru Gojo x Fem! Reader]
Summary: You were eight years old again, hiding from Satoru's parents in his treehouse. "Then you can marry me, silly!" You sat bolt upright. "Marry me!"
Author's Notes: My first ever anime/manga fic, 17.1K words of fake dating/friends to lovers/idiots to lovers that no one asked for!! The fic practically wrote itself. If you’re reading, I hope you enjoy it! Being an American, my knowledge of Japanese language and culture is quite slim. The Japanese honorifics and nicknames I’ve used are meant to be affectionate, but I realize that the relationships themselves may have quite an American slant. I did my best, but if you notice anything off or out of line, please let me know so I can fix it!
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or events from Jujutsu Kaisen
Warnings/tags: non-cursed AU, best friend! Satoru Gojo, fake marriage, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, VERY suggestive content, language, minor character death(s) (past, mentioned), mention of (medical) drug usage, spoilers for/references to episodes 25-29/chapters 65-79, not beta’d!
You’re half asleep in the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the window when you hear a key turn in the door. Groggily, you sit up and rub your eyes, picking up your phone.
“Babe? You home?”
You’ve got a missed text from Satoru that probably explains his otherwise unannounced arrival at your apartment.
“In here,” you call, yawning. His snowy head pokes through the doorway and, despite the wide grin plastered on his face, you can tell something is wrong.
“Sorry to wake you. Are you hungry? I brought ramen.” He’s disappeared into your kitchen but, despite this fabulous announcement, he comes right back around the corner to throw himself dramatically onto the opposite corner of your couch.
Something is definitely wrong.
“Satoru?” You lean forward to touch his elbow, but he throws the arm over his eyes. He mutters something you don’t quite catch. “Say again?”
“It’s finally happened!” he shouts, though the sound is muffled by the hands he’s moved to cover his face. The same hands fly up as his head flies back, long legs kicking up to land on your coffee table with a loud bang. He turns to you with a wild, sarcastic smile. “My parents want me married, and by the end of the year. Or else I forfeit any rights to the family business, the house, my apartment, everything else.”
“Oh, Toru,” you breathe. You feel your heart lodge in the back of your throat before dropping to the ground with a dull thump. He shrugs, not meeting your gaze.
“It doesn’t matter. I can sign over The Amanai Project to Nanami, go back to the Jujutsu Corporation…” But his voice trails off against his will and you’re already shaking your head.
He’d started at the Jujutsu Corporation, a private security company, straight out of university. It’d been good for him- structure and discipline, and a new best friend you’d spent years convincing yourself you weren’t jealous of. You and Satoru hadn’t lost touch, but there were huge gaps in your days where he should have been. Until that new best friend called you from the hospital after a job gone wrong.
Satoru had been hurt, badly. Multiple stab wounds, vicious and tearing. He still had scars from shoulder to hip, and a small one on his forehead from the butt of a gun.
Suguru hadn’t seen it happen; he’d watched their charge die. A bullet to the brain. Quick and clean, unlike the shooter. Satoru had sliced him up before collapsing in a pool of his own blood.
When he woke up, he was different.
You’d worried you’d lost him for good, for different reasons than the wounds, for months. Barely eating, hardly sleeping, withdrawn and absent. Suguru told you that at the girl’s funeral, carrying Riko Amanai’s corpse, Satoru had asked why they didn’t kill the whole family who’d ordered the execution.
Suguru had disappeared not long after, and despite getting your best friend back, you still didn’t quite know why. You didn’t want to bring it up.
You shuddered, remembering how… hollow Satoru had been after the entire incident. Your other friends had wanted you to drop him, offended for your sake that he’d let your friendship slide in the first place, but you’d remained steadfast. Long nights spent holding him, stroking his hair; long days of pulling him gently up to walk, of coaxing him to eat when he had no interest in it; even stripping him down to his boxers to shoulder him into his ridiculously fancy shower, washing his hair in your bathing suit until he halfheartedly pushed you out to wash himself.
He’d been a shell, until he hadn’t. You’d shown up after work, armed with takeout and romcoms, and he’d been gone. You’d panicked, calling Suguru, who didn’t pick up, calling the housekeeper his mother had hired in an effort to keep you away, nearly breaking down and calling his mother. Then he’d barrelled through the door, smiling wide enough to showcase those tiny dimples, gushing about the non-profit he was going to start and the teenagers who’d inspired it.
You sucked in a sharp breath.
“You could lose The Amanai Project.”
He nodded slowly, not meeting your horrified stare.
“That’s why I’d go back to Juju-”
“No,” you hissed. You weren’t prepared for the hopeless look he turned on you. He loved The Amanai Project, he loved the teenagers he worked with. He reached forward, clutching both of your hands in his tightly.
“Then what am I supposed to do?” he pleaded. And then you were eight years old again, hiding from Satoru’s parents in his treehouse.
“They said.”
“Grown-ups always say.”
“What if they make me?”
“They can’t make you!”
He looked at you, much too seriously for an eight year old.
“They made my dad marry my mom. They’ll make me marry someone, too. And then what am I supposed to do?” He crossed his arms, pouting, and grumbled “Don’t wanna get married.”
You grabbed his little hand with your own, beaming with all of the sincerity and cleverness of a child.
“Then you can marry me, silly.”
You sat bolt upright.
“Marry me!” you half-shouted. At Satoru’s flinch back, you apologized softly and lowered your voice. “Marry me,” you repeated. You leaned forward, excitement brewing at the ingenuity of such a simple plan. “We can get married for however long it takes to cement your place in the family business and then get a divorce.” You squeezed his hands. “Whaddya say?”
Satoru spluttered a bit, pulling his hands back to run them through his hair- a nervous habit you hadn’t seen him make since childhood. “Babe, you shouldn’t- we can’t just- I can’t ask you to-”
“You’re not asking me for anything, I offered! Besides, think of all the fun we could have. It’d be just like our sleepovers from when we were kids.” A strange look had crossed Satoru’s face, hesitation and something like pain. You sat a little straighter, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. “U-unless you don’t want to, of course. I just, I thought-”
“It’s a good idea,” he interrupted. He was focused on your hands, intertwined now in your lap. He spoke slowly, measured and thoughtful. “I just don’t want… you know how my parents can be. And what if…” He grimaced. “What if you find someone you want to be with? I don’t want to stand in your way.”
You waved this off airily. “Oh, Toru, you’ll always be part of my life. If I find someone, they’ll just have to accept the situation. Besides, there’s no reason I can’t see someone else, so long as I’m careful. It’s not like we’ll really be married.”
Satoru stood abruptly, pacing to the other side of the room, one hand raised to his chin. He stood, silent, for a long moment. You opened your mouth to say something to fill the suddenly charged space between you, but then he spoke.
“Let me think about it.” And then in a blink, he was gone, takeout forgotten on your countertop, leaving you to blink in the void created by his absence.
——————————————————————
The silence lasted about as long as you’d expected it would. Satoru came crashing into your apartment bright and early the next morning, singing your name. You groaned, rolling over to pick up your phone. 6:48.
You were going to kill him.
“Satoru Gojo!” you yelled, pulling the covers over your head. You heard him skip down the hallway and into your room. If he noticed that you’d used his full name, it didn’t deter him a bit. He flung himself down beside you, dragging you onto his chest, blankets and all.
“My future wife!” he crooned, kissing your covered cheek. “How did you sleep?”
“It’s not even seven.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
You fumbled the blankets off your head, baring your face to the weak sunlight coming in through the open window. “How am I supposed to know how I slept when it’s so early?” You rubbed at your eyes while Satoru laughed heartily, making himself comfortable on your mountain of pillows. You paused. “Did you say future wife?”
His smile widened as he sat up, shifting you from your live body pillow. “Well, yeah. That is if the offer still stands.” He twisted himself off the bed to kneel on the floor, turning you to face him all in one smooth motion. Now he held up a small, black velvet box, which he opened the moment he had your full attention.
A stunning engagement ring glittered up at you, catching all of the light in the room and beaming it upward through the diamond in the center.
You blanched.
“Satoru, what is this? This must have cost a fortune-”
“Easy,” he chuckled, setting the box aside to slide the ring onto your left hand. A perfect fit. “If we’re gonna be married, we’re gonna have to put on a good show. Starting with a beautiful ring worthy of the most beautiful woman in the world.” You hadn’t said a word, dumbstruck as you gazed down at your hand. Satoru spoke more softly now. “What do you think?”
“I think you picked my dream ring,” you breathed. He beamed up at you.
“So does that mean yes?”
“What?” You looked at him sharply, at the hopeful expression he’d turned up to you. “Of course yes, you dork. Remember that this was my idea?”
Satoru launched himself up, bearing you backward onto the bed with his arms around you. “Yay!” he squealed, and then he was kissing your cheek and nuzzling the side of your neck. “I promise to be a good husband,” he mumbled.
You laughed, somewhat breathless. “I wasn’t worried about it.”
You felt his smile curl up against your neck while he squeezed you impossibly tighter. “You were right, we’re gonna have so much fun.”
You were gasping now, struggling to breathe beneath his weight and in his tight grip. “Toru, can’t breathe.”
He let you go with a soft “oops”, shimmying over to lay beside you with his head propped up on one hand. His eyes shone with something you couldn’t quite place, lips curled in a gentle smile as his cerulean gaze trailed lazily over your face. He finally settled on your eyes, sharing the tranquil moment with you before leaping up.
“Oh! I almost forgot!” He careened out of your room and down the hall into your kitchen, returning a moment later with a sly grin. “Close your eyes,” he sing-songed.
“Close m-?”
“Close ‘em, woman!”
With a dramatic sigh, you did. If you hadn’t felt the slight dip in your mattress, you might not have known he’d come back until you felt his hand trace your knee lightly. “Open,” he whispered.
Your vision was flooded with white and green; Satoru held out a colossal bouquet of white roses and eucalyptus, tied with a fat black ribbon.
Your jaw dropped.
Satoru straightened in pleasure. “See, I told you I’d be a good husband!” he crowed.
You swatted at him playfully before taking the roses out of his hands. “Satoru, you know I don’t need all this.”
He gave you a deadpan look. “I have never, never seen any boyfriend spoil you before. I think it’s time someone did.”
You snorted. “You’re gonna ruin me for all other men if you keep it up.”
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he looked pleased by that. But before you could analyze the thought, he reached a hand out to you.
“My lady.”
You laughed out loud, but took the proffered hand and slid out of bed, letting him lead you down the hall. You felt your jaw drop again when you stepped into the kitchen to see a silver tray laid out on your tiny dining table, laden with pastries and fresh fruit and a steaming pot of coffee.
“Consider me ruined,” you mumbled, beelining for the coffee to the sound of Satoru’s raucous laughter. You smiled to yourself, and over your shoulder at him.
This would be fun.
——————————————————————
Reality set in slowly over the course of the next few days, for both of you.
Satoru’s parents were furious, as expected, but enough to call you directly, which was not. After all, they had always refused to acknowledge your existence, as though hoping you might disappear entirely if they ignored you for long enough.
“We know that you’ve always had a bit of trouble staying away, dear, but we had never quite expected this, this…”
“Devotion, ma’am?”
“Parasitic behavior from you!”
Ouch.
“I assure you, Gojo-sama, I’m not marrying your son for money. As you know, we’ve always been close. I’ve always loved him.” All true, as you’d agreed the story should be. The only lie in it lay in the implication of one, tiny word.
If anyone was close enough to spot it, it certainly wouldn’t be his parents.
All the same, his mother groaned and his father scoffed in the background. The elder Gojo’s voice was muffled by distance when he said “Of course she has, but I’d expected Satoru, at least, to outgrow it by now.”
What?
You weren’t given an opportunity to question it, though. Satoru’s mother dismissed you, something about “being in touch” soon. Whatever that meant.
You sat for several long moments, puzzling over that last comment. Outgrow what? His parents couldn’t possibly mean that he’d been in love with you, you would have known. Certainly, you’d had a crush on Satoru for years- your first and most long-standing crush, at that. That must be what they meant. He must’ve had a childhood infatuation, as well. Nothing more.
You shook yourself, content to be back on solid footing, and dialed Satoru’s number by heart. He picked up on the third ring, yelling to one of the teenagers he was training, before greeting you warmly. When you relayed the conversation with his parents, minus that strange comment from his father, you could feel the waves of rage rolling off him through the phone.
“They called you a parasite!?” he shouted, and you heard his students drop their voices to whispers.
“Parasitic, not a parasite.”
“Oh, don’t you bullshit semantics with me,” he seethed. “How dare they, who do they think they are to talk to you that way? I won’t stand for this. They owe you an apology.” You tried to cut in, to reassure him that you were less bothered than you were, in truth, but his tirade went on without any sign of stopping. You could hear him put his phone down, still swearing and half-shouting to himself. You heard something that sounded suspiciously like wood cracking, heard him pick up his phone again, heard the bell on the gym door opening.
“Satoru!” you shouted.
“What!?” he shouted back. You waited patiently as he drew in a deep breath. More calmly, he repeated himself. “What?”
“Don’t give them the satisfaction.”
He was angry enough to sputter, his usual cool, smooth speech long-gone. “They can’t talk to you that way! You’re going to be my wife!”
“Fake wife,” you muttered, half amused and half touched by the vehemence of his outburst.
“That doesn’t matter. You’ve been my best friend forever. It has to stop!”
You sighed. “You know that they’ll only think I’m a whiny, sniveling leech if you say anything.” He was silent, and you could tell from the steady hum of traffic that he’d finally stopped walking. “Go back to your kids.”
“They’re not my kids.” The reply was automatic, an old joke between the two of you about his students. You heard him start walking again, and a moment later, the bell on the door jingled again.
You heard the students perk up, clamoring and calling to him.
“Gojo! Is everything okay?” Yuji Itadori, a selfless orphan with reflexes almost as sharp as Satoru’s. Quick to protect anyone and everyone around him. Heart of gold, worn proudly on his sleeve for all to see.
“Where do you think you’re going? Were you just going to leave us here?” Nobara Kugisaki, a spitfire girl who masked every insecurity with arrogance to rival Satoru’s, though she hadn’t mastered his admirable level of control.
“What crawled up your ass?” Megumi Fushiguro. You didn’t like to pick favorites, but you couldn’t pretend you didn’t hold a special fondness for him. Unflappable, unshakable. Level-headed and calculating. He reminded you of Satoru the most. Maybe that’s why you liked him best.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, the gym would collapse without me in it. Get back to work.” There he was, all smooth edges and silken confidence. Like nothing ever happened. To you, he grumbled, “This isn’t over.”
Once upon a time, you’d believed that nothing could get under his skin. In all your years of friendship, you’d never seen him lose his temper until after the incident. Even since, it was a rare occurrence, but you’d quickly learned how to reel him back. You breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Not over, but over for now.
——————————————————————
One thing you hadn’t put much thought into was telling your parents. They reacted about as you’d expected, though- thrilled to be welcoming their bonus child to the family in an official capacity, “after all these years”.
“Oh, hime, how wonderful! He’s such a sweet boy. I’ll come dress shopping with you!”
Your heart twinged with guilt. Your mother would be heartbroken when you inevitably divorced a year or two down the road.
“Maybe we should tell them,” mused Satoru. He tilted his head back to look up from your lap. “What are the chances that they’ll ever talk to my parents? Or tell anyone else? They can keep a secret.”
You shook your head slowly, focused on a point somewhere past where your fingers threaded through his soft hair. “I think they’d be more heartbroken to hear that we aren’t really in love.”
When Satoru didn’t say anything, you looked down at him. He was staring at you with an expression you couldn’t read, eyes darkening to a rich turquoise. He’d reached up to loop his hand loosely around your wrist without you noticing, stroking the sensitive skin over your pulse. Something about the look in his eyes had you suddenly incapable of thinking of anything but his father’s strange statement.
“I’d expected Satoru, at least, to outgrow it by now.”
You swallowed, hard, scrambling for some way to ask without making everything incredibly awkward. You knew you were just friends. Hearing him say it would settle it once and for all.
“Right,” Satoru drawled. He sat up, rising from the couch. “Better to tell them marriage just wasn’t what we thought.”
Somehow, somewhere, you’d made a wrong turn in this conversation. You weren’t sure what had happened, but something wasn’t right. You were getting to your feet when Satoru turned in the doorway, smirking with that wild spark in his ridiculously blue eyes.
“You probably shouldn’t say it to your parents, but you can tell anyone else who asks that I couldn’t keep up with your appetite.” His smile only widened when you tilted your head in confusion. “Sexually.”
Your mouth dropped open on a gasp of his name, blood flooding your cheeks. His laughter was pealing off your hallway walls by the time you thought to throw the cushion in your hands. It bounced harmlessly off the wall, falling lightly to the floor.
You sprinted down the hallway, raining your fists down on Satoru’s turned back as he laughed, before jumping up and locking one arm around his neck. You used the other to ruffle his hair as he instinctively took hold of your thighs, giving you just enough height to lean over his shoulder and bite the lobe of his ear gently.
You were the one laughing uncontrollably, now, but you didn’t miss his sharp intake of breath or the way he tensed within your hold. Interesting. You tucked that away with every intention of examining it later.
“That’s it!” His voice was slightly hoarse as he spun, racing across the hall to your living room. You shrieked as he wheeled this way and that, his strong grip the only thing keeping you secured to his back. He turned and abruptly released his hold on you, sending you tumbling back onto your couch in a cacophony of giggles.
He turned a smug smile on you. “And with that, no dinner for wifey.”
You let out an indignant squawk, scrambling down the hall after him. Despite his threats, he was spoon-feeding you miso soup within minutes, smiling wide as you stuck out your tongue.
“I’m not telling anyone that,” you muttered.
Satoru nodded sagely. “You’re right, can’t go tarnishing my reputation.”
You let out a loud, undignified guffaw of laughter. “Reputation? You?”
Satoru pulled back indignantly. “You think I don’t have a reputation?” You leveled him with your blankest stare, but he stared right back, one eyebrow quirked up. You found yourself crumbling first, suddenly unsure of yourself. “You have a reputation?”
That broke his stoicism. He cracked a wide grin, looking down to stir his dinner. “Nah, just wanted to watch you squirm.” You both smiled, shoving each other playfully from across the table.
“I’m sure there have been… people though, right?”
Satoru’s head snapped up, eyes almost comically wide in some combination of shock and… nerves?
“What?” he rasped. You caught him with a mouthful of miso – he was probably trying not to choke.
“I mean I’m sure there have been girls, or boys…” you trailed off at the puzzled expression he wore. But now that you’d thought about it, you’d never seen him with anyone, not since high school.
“How did you know I’m bi?”
Not the question you’d been expecting.
“Satoru,” you deadpanned. “Do you remember when you got caught kissing Yoshio Kiyama under the bleachers in sixth grade?”
A faint blush rose in his pale cheeks. “Oh, right.”
“Yeah, genius, I’m the one who found you?” You started laughing, memories of your eleven year-old self bubbling to the surface. “I remember I was so disappointed, but then you asked out Akiko Hoshino for the school dance and I-” You stopped speaking abruptly, horrified at your partial admission, and prayed to the gods that Satoru wouldn’t notice.
Of course where the gods were concerned, Satoru would always find favor.
You swore you could see his ears perk up. “Disappointed, huh?”
“I didn’t mean to say that,” you mumbled.
“Oh no no, you’re not getting out of this one.” He stood, coming around to your side of the table and pulling you up. Then he sat in your chair, dragging you unceremoniously down onto his lap. “Disappointed why?”
You threw your hands up in exasperation, turning your face away. “Because I had a crush on you, Satoru! We were eleven years old and I had a crush and I thought you only liked boys and so I was disappointed that I wouldn’t have a chance with you. But then you asked out Akiko Hoshino, so then I knew that you liked boys and girls.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“And then you pined away for me for the month that I dated Akiko, right?” he crooned, obviously delighted.
You scoffed, but felt your throat closing slightly. “No, then I got over you.”
Satoru’s jaw dropped. “That fast, huh?”
“Yeah, it was pretty quick.”
He released you in favor of clapping his hands to his heart, head thrown back.
“My darling wife, you wound me so!” he cried. You laughed, tapping your ring finger.
“That’s fiancé to you, I’m not your wife yet.”
He sat back up, grinning. “Soon enough.” His cerulean eyes glittered in a way that sparked something deep inside you, excitement and anticipation lighting in your veins.
“Two,” he murmured.
You blinked. “Two what?”
“Two people.” He reached up to smooth a stray hair from your face, a gesture so tender that your breath caught. “One boy, one girl. And now, you.”
“Well, sort of.” You meant to be teasing, but it came out shakier than you meant. What was happening to you?
And there was that unreadable expression, paired with the slightest of smiles. “Yeah, sort of.”
——————————————————————
“I don’t think you’re supposed to get to see the dress.”
Satoru whines from the other end of the phone. “Why nooot? I’m paying for it, aren’t I?”
Despite your mother’s wish to come dress shopping with you, she’d been unable to make the journey. Despite his protests, she couldn’t bear to leave your father alone. He needed her too much after his accident; slow and unsteady on his best days, bedridden on his worst. So you’d settled on FaceTime instead. Now the four of you were on a call together- you, your parents, and Satoru- as you made your way down the busy Tokyo street to your car.
“You know I don’t actually have the dress with me, right?” you said wryly. Satoru’s confused outburst blended with your mother‘s tinkling laughter, tugging at the little girl deep under your skin. You felt your lips curve up in an involuntary smile.
“Patience, bocchan. You’ll see her on your wedding day.”
“That’s so far, though!” whined Satoru.
“It’s only another month, my dear! So eager.” You heard your father chuckling in the background, making some muffled statement about your parents’ traditional, long engagement. Your mother murmured something sweet back to him, but when she spoke into the phone again, her voice was filled with mischief. “Are you sure you’re not pregnant, hime?”
“M-mother!” you sputtered. On the other end, Satoru howled with laughter. All the same, he composed himself much more quickly than you.
“Okan, no. That would be impossible. I’ve been a perfect gentleman! Besides, we’re not even living together.
“Oh!” Your mother seemed genuinely surprised. “Well no, I suppose neither of you have said that you are. I see that I simply assumed…”
“Actually, we haven’t discussed the living situation yet.” You leapt on the opportunity to change the subject, still trying to get your breathing under control. For some reason you couldn’t quite pin down, your mother‘s joke had left your heart racing long after the shock should’ve worn off.
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make either of you uncomfortable, we’re just so exc-”
You and Satoru cut her off simultaneously, talking over each other to assure her that she hadn’t.
“We’ll just move into your place, right babe?”
You stopped walking. “Satoru, why would we move into my shitty apartment when yours is twice the size?”
“Because your place is so much cozier!”
Then there was an almighty crash and Satoru began swearing. A moment later, after making his apologies to your mother, he was saying he loved you and hanging up. Your heart raced a bit, even as you giggled with your mother over “his kids”.
As you walked up to your car, you heard your father ask for a glass of water. “Oh, dear, look at the time. I’m sorry my darling, but I need to go. I have to leave now if I want to get to the bank before it closes, and then I have to go to the shops, and then I have to make dinner…”
You smiled to yourself, sliding behind the wheel of your beaten old sedan. “Have a good night, mama. I’ll talk to you soon.”
You turned the key in the ignition and looked at your watch. Satoru’s class would be ending soon. You could spend that time doing errands, washing your car, or even tidying up your apartment. But you felt lazy and lightweight and you hadn’t seen the kids in some time.
With a smile, you drove to the juice shop you and Satoru liked, ordering the too-sweet strawberry smoothie he loved and something new for yourself to try. After only a second’s hesitation, you picked out an assortment of treats, putting everything on Satoru’s card. Today, for the kids, you’d let him spoil you.
Arms filled with sweets and smoothies, you managed to get from the shop to your car and your car to The Amanai Project. The gym was housed in a metal and concrete building on the border of one of the poorer neighborhoods in the city. Posters advertising free self-defense classes, public safety seminars, and charity races papered the windows beside a much more understated plaque offering pro bono legal counsel for kids victimized by violent crime.
Every time you came here, you couldn’t squelch the feeling of your heart growing several sizes. You were just trying to decide how best to manage the door when it swung open. Kento Nanami, Satoru’s somewhat business partner and the lawyer offering his services, held it wide and nodded a greeting as you shimmied through.
“Thanks, Nanami. How are you?”
“I’d be better if I didn’t have to deal with that crazy man,” he grumbled, and you couldn’t help but laugh. “I hear congratulations are in order, though.”
Startled, you felt heat rise to your cheeks. “O-oh, yes, thank you so much!”
He nodded again, turning to step through the doorway, but paused. “You’re good for him, and you’ll be good for each other.” With that, he turned again and left you staring at the swinging door. That was as much a speech as you’d ever heard out of Nanami, but you didn’t have time to digest it.
Kugisaki shrieked your name, abandoning her training to race across the room to you. Her squeals drew the attention of everyone else in the room, too. Itadori looked up from where he stood patching a hole in the wall, dropping the putty knife he was wielding into a can of spackle, and made to run toward you before Satoru’s sharp voice cut him off.
“Itadori!”
“Aww, Gojo, I’ll fix it in a second!”
You giggled at the interaction. Clearly, the source of the sound Satoru had hung up for.
Fushiguro nodded politely at you from his place in the ring, taking advantage of your arrival to gulp down a bottle of water.
And then there was the man himself, lifting the blindfold he used when he sparred- “to help him hone his senses”. His eyes looked bluer than ever against the black and white contrast of material and hair. He smiled when he saw you, looking surprised but immeasurably pleased.
Then Kugisaki was shoveling everything out of your arms, extending her hands to grasp yours. “Let’s see this ring!”
At that, Itadori did drop the putty knife, tuning Satoru’s warnings out with admirable success. Even Fushiguro sauntered over, hands tucked into his pockets, to lean down. You locked eyes with Satoru, cheeks warming under the kids’ attention.
Kugisaki and Itadori took turns bouncing on the balls of their feet, shrieking, alternating between hugging you and each other. Fushiguro studied the ring and then turned back to the ring, tossing a genuinely impressed “Nice job, Gojo” over his shoulder. Satoru sidled up to you, snaking an arm around your waist to draw you close enough that he could kiss your cheek.
He was still smiling at you when Itadori shouted. “Hey Gojo, what was that? You gotta kiss her for real!”
Satoru whirled. “What!?”
“Yeah, kiss her for real!” squealed Kugisaki. She and Itadori swatted at each other in excitement, eyes glued to you and Satoru.
He pointed menacingly at them both. “You little pervs-”
“You can’t shut up about her all day, and now that she’s here you won’t even kiss her?” You laughed at the deadpan stare Fushiguro gave his teacher, highly amused by the entire ordeal.
With a rush of boldness, you grasped Satoru’s collar, turning him to face you, and pulled him down to your mouth. A bolt of electricity shot through you when your lips touched, and if Satoru’s muffled gasp was any indication, he wasn’t unaffected either. The kiss was brief, a slide of lips that was over much too soon, and then you were releasing him. You heard Kugisaki squealing, a loud clap as Itadori and Fushiguro high-fived each other, their thrilled chatter; it all faded to the background as you looked at Satoru.
Eyes half-lidded, color high in his cheeks, he seemed unable to catch his breath. He stood, still bent to your height, staring at your lips. You felt heat rising in your own cheeks, boldness entirely dissipated as you wondered whether you’d crossed some line or other. His tongue darted out to swipe his lips. The tittering in the background was quickly dying. You’d expected Satoru to have some ready quip, to turn and showboat for his students. It was becoming increasingly obvious that you’d have to be the one to act.
Thinking fast, you reached over to the counter where Kugisaki had dumped the haul you’d brought, fumbling a smoothie into Satoru’s frozen hands. You pasted a smile on and patted his cheek, turning to the collection of treats.
“Alright, you hooligans, I brought something for you. Courtesy of Gojo Sensei.”
The boisterous sounds of teenagers started up just as quickly as they’d stopped, with Itadori and Kugisaki fighting over who got first pick of the sweets. Fushiguro waited patiently for the other two to dispense with their theatrics, picking up a sweet roll with a quiet word of thanks. You waved it off as you raised your smoothie to your lips, flinching when you tasted how overwhelmingly sweet it was. You turned to find Satoru standing behind you, holding out your smoothie. Besides a slight dusting of pink across the tops of his cheeks, he seemed entirely composed again.
“Sorry,” you murmured, trading cups with him.
He quirked an eyebrow at you as he raised his smoothie to his mouth. Slowly, deliberately, he licked the side of his straw, finally drawing it into his mouth. He took several long swallows, holding your gaze unwaveringly as he did. Something about the action seemed intimate, provocative, and it was heating your insides. What on earth was happening to you?
“Oh, please.” His voice was lower than usual, husky. “Don’t be.”
——————————————————————
For once, you wound up at Satoru’s apartment. He’d walked you to your car, only half a lot away from his, only to find that it wouldn’t start. Why drive across town to your place, only to need a ride back in the morning to meet the tow truck, when you could simply stay the night with him? You had your laptop, there was no reason you couldn’t work from his home office the next day while he was away at family business meetings.
As he unlocked the front door, you tried to remember the last time you’d been here, rather than having him over to your shabby, cramped shoebox. You never could quite put your finger on why, but he loved your place. Cozy, he’d called it. And you guessed it was, in comparison.
He flipped on the light, the sound echoing down the hall, and stepped over the threshold, gesturing for you to step inside. You toed off your shoes, padding through the house to the kitchen. Satoru followed, stripping off his jacket and the blindfold he’d been wearing like a headband.
“I don’t think there’s much in the fridge, but we can order takeout. You remember where the menus are?”
“Of course.” You opened the right-most drawer in the island, withdrawing a stack of takeout menus with a grin.
Satoru grinned right back. “Order whatever you want, pick something good for me. I’m going to take a shower real quick.” You hummed as he dropped his wallet on the counter, thumbing through the worn pages before you.
When Satoru had first moved into this apartment, his mother had hired a maid and a chef. Only the best for her precious son, you thought wryly. Satoru hadn’t been having it. He’d been polite to them, of course, but kept an impeccable house with nothing for the maid to clean, and ordered takeout every night, leaving the chef’s meals untouched in the refrigerator before insisting she take them home herself. When his mother had shown up to scold him, he’d listened patiently to her lecture and then promptly changed the locks.
You grinned at the memory, but it was short-lived. Your thoughts drifted to the time after he’d come home from the hospital, silent and uninterested in food, keeping a clean house, or anything else. His mother had hired a housekeeper again, insisting that your presence was unnecessary. In spite of her cold words and colder attitude, you’d stuck around, trying to get Satoru to take an interest in… anything.
He’d lost so much weight in those months.
You shook yourself out of your spiraling thoughts. Whatever had prompted him, he’d bought the gym for The Amanai Project, sent the housekeeper home with her next month’s pay, a bouquet of flowers, and his thanks, and changed the locks all in one day.
His mother had been furious.
That thought made you smile, despite yourself.
You heard the shower start, picked a menu at random, and called the number. You ordered enough sushi to feed a small army- an assortment of maki and uramaki rolls, nigiri, sashimi, miso soup, and two servings of deep-fried bananas- and smiled when you opened Satoru’s wallet to a picture of the two of you.
You made a circuit of the apartment while you waited. It looked just like it had the last time you’d been here, neat and bare. You walked into the home office, the only room with any personality, and smied at the photos scattered over the walls and shelves. You and Satoru as children, as teenagers at prom together, beaming together on the day you’d both graduated university; photos of him standing with his parents and grandparents, more serious than you were used to seeing him; and then, another photo, tucked behind several others. You stopped to pick it up.
Satoru, Shoko, and Suguru sat in a line, all beaming at the camera. Satoru’s arm reached around Shoko’s back, hand resting on Suguru’s shoulder. You could hardly see his eyes behind the dark glasses he wore, but you thought his eyes might’ve been on Suguru.
You swallowed back a painful lump in your throat. You’d lied when you said your crush on Satoru had been over quickly. It had lasted well into your teenage years, only abating when you assumed Suguru had taken your place as his best friend. Tall, handsome, charming Suguru with his smooth voice, soft smile, and never putting up with Satoru’s shit. That was until he disappeared, right when Satoru became a shell.
You knew the events were related, but you’d never found the courage to ask. Now, looking at this photo, you wondered what had happened to him. You wondered what had happened to Shoko, too. You knew she and Satoru still spoke from time to time, but they’d been closer before. Jealousy pricked at your heart before you stomped it ruthlessly out.
It had been a silly crush, nothing more. You were best friends. That was everything you wanted, everything you needed, and more than you could say for the other two.
You scolded yourself for being uncharitable, returning the picture frame to its place on the shelf before stalking from the office to Satoru’s bedroom.
The bed was perfectly made, unrumpled and unslept in. You realized with a jolt that the last time you’d been in his bedroom had been during those awful months, two years ago. You scowled lightly, turning back to the living room, and noticed for the first time that the larger couch looked slightly rumpled, with a throw blanket haphazardly hanging from the back- the only item out of place in the whole apartment.
In the bathroom, the tap turned off. You darted out of the bedroom, opting to sit at the kitchen island, watching the city lights from the picture window. It couldn’t have been more than two minutes before you could feel Satoru behind you, even though you hadn’t heard him approach.
When you turned, he was smiling softly at you.
“Have you been sleeping on the couch?”
You knew you’d shocked him by the smile he flipped up. “Whaaat? No, of course no-”
“Toru.”
He glares at you, but doesn’t answer. He’s saved by the doorbell, which he bolts to answer.
You let out a breath, turning to the fridge to get drinks. You pull out two bottles of tea, along with a glass and a container of honey for Satoru. He’s laying out your feast, eyes pointedly on the food.
You decide not to push the issue. For now.
“I left some clothes for you in the bathroom,” he says.
“Thank you,” you hum. “I’ll shower as soon as we’re done here.”
He hums in return, mouth already filled with food, then swallows. “Sorry about the kids,” he says.
You grin. “Sorry for rocking your world.”
A strange look passes over his features, and when he speaks, you get the feeling that he’s not saying what he had intended to. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re not that good.” The words drip with his customary, good-natured arrogance, complete with the full-blown smirk you’ve only ever seen on him. He winks, making you laugh, but there’s some tiny part of you that’s oddly wounded by this.
He’s returned his focus to his meal, but then he looks up at you from under his stark, white lashes. His voice is softer, more sincere when he speaks again.
“We should practice.”
And for a moment, the absurdity of the statement is so intense that you can’t, won’t understand him.
“Practice what?”
“Kissing.” He says it so calmly, so matter-of-fact, like it’s the most normal thing in the world to say.
You choke on your tea.
“We should practice kissing,” you drone back.
Satoru throws his hands in the air. “Exactly! I’m glad you agree.” When you continue to stare, he chuckles, going back to his food. “I think the gig would be up if something like that happened in front of our wedding guests.”
And after a moment’s contemplation, you have to admit that he’s right. You hadn’t considered the way you’d appear to onlookers. Years and years of close friendship had you comfortable with each other, in each others’ space, and you knew you’d look genuine to anyone close enough to see you, because your affection for each other was genuine. You and Satoru had always been touchy- leaning on each other or holding hands, arms around each other or brushing when you walked or talked. Physical closeness was natural to you both.
But kissing each other was not natural, you told yourself. Even as your mind unhelpfully reminded you that it had felt quite natural to lean up and press your lips to his. You blinked away the memory, pasting on a smile to hide your unease at the way your heartbeat sped.
“Oh yeah, I’d expected a smoother recovery from you,” you teased. “What did the kids have to say about that?”
He grumbled something that sounded distinctly like “lovesick fool”, but when you asked for Satoru to repeat himself, he said “They said it was so cool.”
You giggled. “It’s ‘cause they’ve never seen anyone shut you up.”
He lay a hand against his heart. “It’s because they never believe me when I say the ladies love me. Victory has never tasted so sweet.” You laughed, Satoru smiled, and what little tension had managed to build dissipated.
You stood to stretch. “I’ll make us breakfast tomorrow if you do the dishes.”
Satoru scoffed. “I have a perfectly good dishwasher, and we both know I’ll be up way before you.”
You stuck your tongue out, earning you a snicker. “I’m going to shower.” Satoru waved you off, stuffing the last of his deep-fried bananas into his mouth as he brushed off his hands. You padded into the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and stripped off your clothes once the door shut behind you. Stepping into the shower, you let the scalding water soothe your muscles as your mind kicked into overdrive.
Practice kissing Satoru Gojo. Something pooled low in your belly, something hungry and molten.
You knew, logically, that having the friendship with him that you do put you in a position most girls would be wildly envious of. You’d always known that, even if it hadn’t affected you. So why is it affecting you now?
You knew, logically, that Satoru is insanely attractive. You’d seen it firsthand countless times over the years. Any time you’d go out together, you could feel jealous stares on you, even if Satoru never noticed. It used to make you feel somewhat smug, and somewhat guilty, as though your presence could keep away the girl he was meant to have. You would tease him, shamelessly mocking the fluttering lashes and starry eyes turned his way. So why did you feel so starry-eyed yourself?
You knew, logically, that this was a good and smart plan. His parents would be looking for any sign that this marriage was less than what it seemed, and it was wise to cover your bases. You just had to think about it intellectually. Just had to remember that it was all part of the trick.
Dressing in his boxers and sweats and a shirt two sizes too big, you step into his bedroom to see him reclining on the bed, face flushed and chest heaving, and all wisdom deserts you.
His eyes are closed. He’s got one muscled arm propped behind his head, while the long fingers of his other hand stroke that damn blindfold thoughtfully. He turns and pierces you with that blue gaze, eyes darker than usual, and inclines his head slightly as he takes in a deep breath. His eyes rake you from head to toe, taking in the way you swim in his clothes. You pad toward the bed, crawling over the expanse of it until you lay next to him, hands laced nervously over your stomach.
He sits up to place the blindfold on the nightstand, then rolls so that he’s hovering over you. “Shall we?” he murmurs. His voice is velvet, soft and rough, and intellectual thought becomes more difficult as you try to remember the last time you kissed anyone before today.
You nod. It feels stiff, and you hope that he doesn’t notice. Hell, of course he notices. You hope that he can’t see why you’re so uptight, and do your best to tuck away your racing thoughts so that you can’t examine them either.
He raises his free hand to brush his knuckles over your cheek, touch so feather-soft that you could’ve almost imagined it. You don’t know which of you moved first, but you’re inexplicably closer to each other now, noses nearly touching. Satoru’s warm, sweet breath ghosts over your lips. His luminescent eyes scan your face, searching for… what? you wonder breathlessly.
It’s an agonizingly long moment in which your traitorous brain chants kisshimkisshimkisshim.
“Relax,” he whispers, and you let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.
His lips brush yours, lighter than his fingertips on your jaw. Then again, with the barest hint of pressure. You’ve only just begun, but your heart is already pounding. Satoru kisses you a third time and the trick is all but forgotten.
He moves his lips slowly, carefully against yours. You exercise every last ounce of restraint to move as slowly, as carefully as he does. Gentle as this is, your lungs are burning for air by the time he pulls back, only far enough so that you can both gulp down the warm air between you. He shifts so that his body partially covers yours before descending again. This time, in addition to the soft pressure, his tongue slides delicately over your bottom lip.
Forgetting yourself, you grip the front of his t-shirt, dragging him down so suddenly that he grunts, mouth parting to allow your tongue to explore. You run it along the back of his teeth, the inside of his bottom lip, sliding it against his as he presses into your mouth for his turn.
His tongue is slow, gentle, as he maps the inside of your mouth. The hand that’s not propping him up is on your neck now, thumb across the front of your throat, caressing the flesh there. You begin to lose patience, unable to grasp how unaffected he is by this when you’re so close to abandoning your dignity for more, more, more.
With as much self-control as you can muster, you slide one hand around his side under his shirt. His breath catches. Your hands must be cold. You use your grip on his shirt and his waist to pull until he loses his balance, body pressed against you for one short, blissful moment. Your eyes shoot open, meeting a roiling ocean as your hips meet and you feel something hard against your inner thigh. Wait, is he…?
He lifts himself so that he hovers over you, body too far away now for you to confirm what you thought you felt. He kisses you several times in quick succession, lighter than before, as he holds himself up over you. You wonder if you’re imagining the quiver in his limbs; you must be.
Then he pulls back with a crazed smile that doesn’t touch his eyes. His cheeks flame and his blown pupils snap with something you don’t have a name for.
“Well that was much better,” he says. Then you blink and he’s up, sitting on the side of the bed for just a second before standing up. He walks out of the room and you’re left reeling, lifting a hand to your swollen lips.
What just happened?
Anxiety is beginning to build before he’s back in the doorway with a glass of water in hand. He hits the lightswitch before coming in, hiding himself from your searching eyes in the gloom, backlit by the lamp in the living room.
“Here,” he says, handing you the glass. You sit up and take it from his hands, draining the whole thing to wash the addictive taste of him out of your mouth enough to concentrate. It hardly works.
He’s halfway across the room before you realize it, and you find panic flooding your chest again.
“Wait!” you call. He stops, turning so that you can just make out his profile in the dark.
You feel tongue-tied. Against your will, you remember the way you felt at eleven, at fourteen, at sixteen, unable to speak or move or breathe around him, so in awe of his presence.
This would be a really, really bad time for those feelings to resurface.
But you can’t seem to stop them.
“What?” You must have been quiet for too long, because his voice is tinged with worry.
You scramble for any coherent thought.
“Where are you going?”
You see him raise a hand to the back of his neck, a nervous gesture startlingly like one the boy from your scrambled thoughts makes.
“The couch. I figured you could sleep in the bed, and I-”
“You should stay,” you cut off. After what had just happened, after knowing what it felt like to kiss him, if you’d put any thought into anything else first, you’d have never gotten the words out.
But you couldn't think. Not now, not with the taste of him on your tongue. Regardless of your mounting fear and his being the source, you couldn’t bear for him to be away from you. Not now.
Satoru didn’t say anything. He stood frozen, and again, you began to wonder whether some invisible boundary had been crossed.
Maybe this was why friends didn’t kiss each other.
Shame and nerves choked you. You shouldn’t have touched him, shouldn’t have embarrassed him like that. Of course it was natural for his thoughts to wander, it certainly had nothing to do with you. A natural response, nothing mo-
“Okay.”
You let out a breath and the pounding in your ears subsided. He left the room, returning after flipping off the light in the living room, and lowered himself gently into the bed. He stretched out on his back, hands at his sides, and you lowered yourself to the cushions with yours tucked to your chest.
The silence was deafening. You weren’t used to it, banter flowing easily from both sides for all your lives.
You turned abruptly, unable to bear it any longer.
“Toru, what happened? With Suguru? And with Shoko?”
He sucked in a breath from his place across the bed. You worried again, as was becoming too common, that you shouldn’t have spoken. He didn’t speak for so long that you thought he wouldn't answer you, and then you started to worry that he’d call off the whole fake wedding or, worse, your whole friendship.
You’d never asked, too afraid of sending him spiralling off the precipice and losing him entirely. But you were so off-balance from the raging storm of your emotions that you couldn’t stop yourself.
“Amanai died.”
You counted several beats before speaking. “I know that part,” you said softly. “Suguru was with her when she was shot, right?”
A long pause. “Yeah.”
“And you were outside.”
“Yeah.”
“Satoru, it wasn’t your fault.”
“We were arrogant.” There was self-loathing dripping from the words. “We shouldn't have assumed the estate would be safe ground.”
You squeezed your eyes shut. This had been a mistake. Damn your curiosity, you should never have dredged this up.
“I wanted… I killed that guy, the shooter.” You’d known, but the jolt that went through you reminded you that he’d never actually said it out loud. Not to you. “And I wanted to kill the whole group of them, that whole family that ordered the execution. Everyone who stood there, applauding that a fifteen year-old girl was dead. And I would have snapped and done it if Suguru hadn’t stopped me.”
Your heart constricted painfully. Suguru had said, but you hadn’t realized it had been so serious. Satoru let out a long sigh. Subconsciously, you reached out to loop your fingers through his. He squeezed gently.
“Remember the week after the funeral, that day I left you here? When Shoko called?” You nodded. You’d handed him the phone when Shoko asked, watching wordlessly as he stalked out, and then sat in his apartment, drowning in terror until he’d walked back through the door, silent as when he’d left. He turned to you now. Even in the dark, you could make out the faint gleam of his eyes. “Sorry for scaring you, back then,” he whispered. You reached your other hand out to lay it on his chest.
He took in another deep breath. “Suguru went out on a job. He was supposed to bring some guy in for questioning.” You waited with bated breath for him to say the words you didn’t want to hear. “He killed him.”
You sat up, peering down through the darkness. “What?”
“He killed him. Told the board that it was self-defense, but Shoko and I knew it wasn’t. He confessed it to her, and she told me.” You sat in stunned silence. This was so much worse than you’d imagined it could be.
“And you?” Satoru said nothing. Dread pricked your spine. “You… you wanted to…”
“I didn’t, though.” He’d tensed, as though he expected you to draw away at any moment. “Shoko had already built a case against him when she called me. She just needed a confession. So I got it. Even if I thought that it wasn’t fair.”
You scooted the tiniest bit closer. “Not fair?”
Satoru looked at you out of the corner of his eye, seeming to consider his next words. “That he found the absolution he denied me.”
You considered that. “Did you ever find it?” you finally asked. “Absolution?”
He seemed to hold his breath. “I think so,” he said softly. You nodded, and for long minutes, you each sat lost in thought under the cover of darkness. Then, when sleep pressed you down, you closed the last distance between you to lay your head on his chest. You felt Satoru start before carefully wrapping an arm around you. And maybe you were already dreaming, but you thought you felt him press a gentle kiss to your temple.
You wondered again if you were dreaming when you woke, warm and comfortable. You blinked yourself awake, squinting at the clock across the room. Too early. You flopped your head back down and then froze when the arm around your waist pulled you back against a feverish body.
Satoru.
You raised your head, blinking at the clock again in disbelief. Satoru was always up at the crack of dawn. 7:45 was not late, but most days he’d already be out and about. Carefully, so as not to wake him, you turned your head. His brilliant white hair flopped over his eyes, making him look vulnerable. Young, so like the little boy you’d said you’d marry all those years ago.
You smiled at the memory and rested your head back on your pillow. You looked at the clock. 7:46. You’d let him sleep until 8:00. You began to snuggle backward and froze.
You could feel Satoru’s length pressed against the curve of your butt. For one, heartstopping moment, you let yourself melt back. Then you were berating yourself.
He was asleep, nothing more. No man woke up in bed with any girl without a hard-on and it had nothing to do with you.
The moment you broke contact, that arm tightened again, drawing you back more firmly. You muffled a groan, letting your eyes slide shut.
A really, really bad time for those feelings to resurface again, you thought dryly, heart speeding against your ribcage. You glanced up. 7:47.
You couldn’t lay here like this for thirteen minutes. You’d just have to slide out from his grasp and hope you didn’t wake him.
Just before you moved though, Satoru breathed in deeply. His arms tightened around you again, one hand lowering to your hip to press you back against him. You held your breath as he nuzzled the side of your neck.
“Hey, baby,” he murmured, voice thick with sleep. He curled further around you, molding your body against his. It made you feel weak. “What time is it?”
You turned to the clock again, cheeks burning. “7:48.”
“Shit!” Satoru flew up, making it from the far side of the bed to the bathroom in one fluid motion. The door slammed and you stared at it for a moment before you started to giggle. Well, so much for breakfast.
It’s 7:51 when the bathroom door flies open to reveal Satoru in all his shirtless glory, muscles rippling as he tears through his closet, toothbrush clenched between his teeth. Then it’s back to the bathroom, door not quite shut, and you have to make yourself turn away from the sliver of pale skin you can see through the crack. You hear him spit, then the door swings open again. 7:53. He’s fumbling the last few buttons on his shirt, long legs carrying him to the mirror in the corner.
“Sorry, babe, I have an errand I have to run before the meeting this morning.” He runs a hand through his hair, turning his head side to side, and then spins and walks toward you. “Tow company will be here to pick you up at nine.” He bends down, planting his hands on either side of your shoulders, and kisses you passionately before sprinting out the door. “Call me if they give you any trouble!”
The front door slams, and seven minutes after waking up, the whirlwind that is your best friend storms out the front door. You raise a hand unconsciously to your lips.
What in the world?
By the time you manage to haul yourself out of bed, after an already eventful morning, you’ve convinced yourself that this is simply more practice. Building habits, as it were, so as not to raise suspicion when you inevitably end up out with his family, out with friends.
It makes perfect sense.
You brush your teeth and get dressed, in the same clothes you wore here yesterday, and open your laptop to get a little work done before the tow company picks you up. Just as Satoru said they would, they ring the bell at nine sharp. You stuff your laptop into your bag, locking the door with your spare key, and follow the driver to his truck.
You make polite small-talk with the driver- mostly about your crappy car- for the short drive to the tow yard, thanking him as he holds the door open for you. When you turn toward the office, he stops you.
“Oh, miss, I have your key right here.”
He hands you a key that certainly isn’t yours. You look from it to him.
“This isn’t my key.”
The driver scratches the back of his neck, pointing across the lot. “Well, according to Mr. Gojo, it is.”
You turn to see a shiny new coupe with a massive red bow on the hood. You blink at it, then turn back to the driver. “Where’s my car?”
He shifts his weight nervously. “I don’t rightly know, miss. Mr. Gojo called yesterday and said not to worry about it. Said he’d be dropping off a new one- nothing but the best for his fiancée. Came by this morning, handed me the key himself.”
You turn back to the car in stunned silence.
“I can see about getting your old car back, miss…”
“No, thank you.” You turned to smile at the driver. “I can take it up with my fiancé.”
The driver nodded, shuffling off to the office in the center of the lot at great speed. You walked over to your new ill-gotten vehicle, circling it slowly. This was a huge gift.
You let yourself into the driver’s seat, reveling in the luxury of a vehicle younger than yourself, let alone one of such caliber. Then, calmly, you dialed Satoru’s number.
The phone rang twice, and then he picked up with a joyous “Love of my life!”
You sucked down a breath, and then roared into the phone. “GOJO!”
——————————————————————
The final weeks until the wedding are so busy that you hardly have time to think about the day itself, but they’re a raging success.
You and Satoru go apartment hunting, despite your protests, and end up with a penthouse apartment with an office, a guest room, and more space than you know how to decorate. He hires a moving company to pack your humble, cozy apartment and his sleek one, refusing to hear any protests about keeping your lease.
“Baby, I’ve been trying to get you out of that shithole for years. You really think I’m letting this opportunity pass me by?” You grumble about making rent and he tugs you close with an arm around your shoulders, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. “Rent, as if. Consider it repayment for going along with all this.”
You don’t bother pointing out that “all this” was your idea in the first place; you know it would be useless.
Your parents fly in the week of the wedding and insist on taking you and Satoru out for dinner “one last time before the big day” as thanks for Satoru’s generosity in putting them up in “such a lovely hotel”.
You go to your final fitting and your dress is perfect, curving and flowing in all the right places. Your mother cries, and that sets you to crying too.
Satoru kisses you, more than once. He kisses you first thing every morning when you emerge from his room, kisses you each time you pass each other over the course of the days, kisses you last thing at night before making himself comfortable on the couch. You have to force yourself not to ask him to stay in the bed with you, afraid of what you might do if he agrees.
You have to remind yourself that none of this is real.
Shoko comes to town, determined not to miss the big event despite the space that’s opened up between her and Satoru. Seeing them together, you realize that it probably never opened at all. It’s Suguru’s space; a tiny, infinite rift between them. You can see how bittersweet the reunion is, for both of them, and find yourself hoping that it won’t be the last time they meet. Hoping that they can both heal until they can really be friends again.
You have an incredibly tense dinner with Satoru’s parents, made all the more stressful by the agreement to do everything to sell them on the idea that you’re hopelessly in love with each other. At dinner, you hold hands through every course, constantly looking at each other with syrupy smiles and fluttering lashes. When you retire to the restaurant’s overpriced lounge for drinks, Satoru pulls you down into his lap, holding you firmly in place the entire time. He only has one drink, but he gets noticeably more handsy as the contents of his glass disappear.
You ruffle his hair affectionately, leaning down to whisper in his ear.
Only the fact that his parents are sitting feet away stops you from asking whether there’s something in his pocket, or whether he’s just happy to see you. “Lightweight,” you breathe instead, trying not to move too much lest he notice his body’s reaction and push you away. He giggles, dragging you forward to plant a sloppy kiss on your mouth. You allow yourself to relish the moment, embracing the longing you’ve begun to feel. For his parents’ benefit, you tell yourself. You’re only doing your part to sell the lie.
You can practically feel the steam coming from his mother’s ears.
Standing on Satoru’s balcony the night before the wedding, he levels you with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen from him. “Are you sure about this?”
You think back on the past months, comparing them to all the years before. What had even changed, besides the fact that now, you were friends who sometimes kissed? Who sometimes came dangerously close to feeling each other up? What had changed, besides the fact that now, you were almost certain that you’d never moved past your feelings for him?
You forced yourself to relax and smile. “I’m sure.”
Satoru took your hands in his, turning you to face him. “You’re giving up a lot for me.”
That made you laugh. You looked up, pleased to see the curve of amusement on his lips. “What am I giving up? It’s not like I’d be spending my time with anyone else. Besides, you’ve bought me a beautiful ring, a gorgeous dress, and a brand new car. I think I’m actually gonna come out of this pretty far ahead.”
“Don’t forget the penthouse,” he teased, and your smile dropped to a deadpan.
“Satoru, we’ve discussed the penthouse.” He waved this off. “I’m not keeping it!” you protested.
“Yeah, we’ll see.” He grinned down at you, breeze lifting his hair from his forehead. Without meaning to, you reached up to smooth it back, thumb running over the scar over his eyebrow. He cleared his throat, growing somber. “This time tomorrow, we’re going to be married.”
You let your fingertips drift down his cheek, allowing yourself just one more private moment of weakness before your heart ended up on display tomorrow for everyone to see. Hopefully, everyone but him. You nodded, suddenly at a loss for words. For all his sweetness, you’d seldom seen the tenderness he bent on you in the smile he offered. His eyes were liquid, soft as ever, when he raised your hand to his lips.
“Let’s get some sleep,” he murmured, and you agreed, if only to escape before his attention caused you to crumble.
——————————————————————
The wedding day itself is surreal, and it passes in a blur. You wake in Satoru’s bedroom with a bouquet of roses on the bedside, along with a note in his bold writing.
“To the best friend I’ve ever had, thank you for putting up with my shit and having my back. We both know that I’m a treasure. I only hope you know that you are, too. You deserve the world, and I will lay it at your feet. On this, our wedding day, I alone am the honored one.”
The note is signed with a flourish of his name. You smile as you raise it to your lips, taking in the faint scent of his cologne. You are the honored one on this day. You lay the note next to your bra, fully intent on keeping it close, and then you hit the ground running.
You shower and brush your teeth and after that, it’s out the door to the waiting car to be driven to the vast Gojo estate. Despite spending time here as a child, the place is still incredibly intimidating with its marble arches and sprawling gardens. You feel your heartbeat speed as you see the decorations- fairy lights and tulle, vines and roses, black silk ribbons and eucalyptus branches.
It’s more beautiful than you could have imagined.
You make your way to the guest house and sit through an hour of hair and makeup, laughing with your mother about all the childish shenanigans you and Satoru have gotten up to over the years, and calm your anxious hands and stomach by sampling the hors d’oeuvres arranged prettily on silver platters.
Your father sits in the corner, eyes shining with pride and unshed tears. He’s got a cocktail of painkillers ready to go; nothing will keep him from walking with his little girl today.
You would feel guilty if Satoru weren’t already such a fixture in all of your lives. You only hope that your parents won’t be too hurt when this is all over.
It’s only once your parents step out so that you can change into your gown that Satoru’s mother visits you.
“Tell me, my dear, must we really continue this charade?”
You feel your heart prick with ice. “I assure you, Gojo-sama, that there is no charade,” you lie smoothly. “I love your son.” Just enough honesty to ring true.
Her glare is frozen. “I will give you six million yen if you walk out of here and away from my son.”
You raise your chin in defiance. “No.”
“Seven million.”
“You cannot buy me, no matter the price.”
“Ten million yen.”
Your ire has been steadily rising since she stepped into the room. Now, it eclipses your anxiety like a crashing wave. You lean forward, well into her space, and feel a mean thrill when she leans away from you. Your voice is cold. “I do not care what you think of me. But it’s clear that you have no concept of your son’s worth.” You tilt your head, summoning the haughtiest tone you’ve ever used. “You dishonor him.” His mother reels back, scowling.
“You don’t deserve my son,” she sneers.
You laugh at that. “I agree. Yet somehow, he’s decided otherwise.”
She peers down her nose at you. You expect another round of vitriol, but to your surprise, she turns on her heel to leave. Round one, you.
You blow out your breath, shake your hands, and straighten your shoulders. Within a few minutes, your parents are back and then it’s smooth sailing again.
Right up until you and your father hobble to the door to walk to the ceremony.
Your father starts to sniffle. You turn and realize that he’s tearing up, putting on his bravest face and doing his utmost not to blubber.
“Oh, papa,” you murmur. You turn to take his face in your hands. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, hime.” He reaches a hand up to your face, carefully avoiding your hair and touching lightly so as not to smear your makeup. “I am just so happy. Your mother and I used to talk about what a wonderful life you and Satoru would build together and now it’s finally beginning.”
The shock nearly knocks you off your feet. “You… what?”
He sniffles, patting your cheek and lowering his head to compose himself. “You make an old man proud. There’s no one else I’d rather give you away to.”
You move your mouth, but can’t form any words.
And then, it’s time. The great door creaks open and you tilt your head down to hide your expression. You take a few deep, steadying breaths before raising your head… and promptly losing them.
The lawn is surprisingly empty, though you suppose his parents planned it that way. Regardless, every face fades as you set eyes on Satoru.
Satoru, the best and oldest friend you’ve ever had.
Satoru, who’s always been in your corner, no matter what.
Satoru, who looks devastatingly handsome in black and white, with a boutonniere of one, single rose almost the same color as his eyes. Almost, but not quite. Satoru, whose eyes are wider than ever, staring slack-jawed as you make your way toward him down the aisle, moving slowly for your fathers’ sake. Satoru, whose hands drop from where they’d been fiddling with his cuffs.
Satoru, who looks at you with such longing that you nearly collapse.
Your heart stops, and then sprints to make up for lost time.
This day is going to kill you.
You know that your face is bearing every emotion, that nothing is hidden in this instant.
And it’s nothing compared to the way he looks at you.
It’s all an act, you remind yourself. Tears spring to your eyes. All an act, but every person in this room is eating it up. Including you. When did he get so good at acting?
The corner of his lip curls in an awestruck smile and you’re a goner.
Who were you kidding?
You let the tears stream, grateful at least that they would lend authenticity to the performance. And for the first time, you feel your heart sink.
You’re just as in love with Satoru Gojo now as you had been at eleven years old.
You’d been a fool to think you’d get out of this unscathed.
Over the course of your mental collapse, Satoru’s smile widens until you can just make out the tiny dimples at the corners of his mouth that only ever show themselves when he’s at his happiest.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.
You just have to remember that it’s all for show.
You force yourself to smile.
And know instantly that you’ve made a mistake.
You had to be twenty paces or more away, but those dimples disappeared the moment your lips spread.
No one else would ever notice, but you did.
Because no one else would ever notice, but he had.
Those cyan eyes narrowed fractionally and you knew that he could tell that something was off. You could see the anxiety surfacing as you got close.
To feel so seen…
You pursed your lips, just by a hairs’ breadth, and Satoru’s face relaxed. The silent conversation you had in those last few steps did wonders to ease your nerves, and you could tell that it did the same for him. Between one heartbeat and the next, your father was kissing your cheek, placing your hand firmly in Satoru’s outstretched one.
You couldn’t hear a word anyone said- not your father, not the priest, not even Satoru. You blinked rapidly, finally locking eyes with your fiancé.
“Baby? Are you okay?” he whispered, and you could tell from the slight strain in his voice that he was repeating the question.
You squeezed his hands. “I’m okay,” you whispered back. You let yourself fall into your role, embracing the fantasy. You felt nearly giddy. “Let’s get married.”
And oh, there was that smile again, canyon-wide and dimpled just for you. “Let’s.”
You could hardly concentrate enough to repeat your vows, too caught up in the way Satoru’s eyes sparkled, locked onto you. Too mesmerized by the way his mouth moved to truly hear what he said. Before your head could catch up with the feelings speeding through your heart, Satoru was wrapping a strong arm around your waist, pulling you firmly to his chest. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his smile.
“Hi, wifey.” And then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. You couldn’t stop your hands coming up to cradle his face; couldn’t stop your mad smile when he bent you back nearly parallel to the ground; couldn’t stop the shudder that ran down your spine at the soft moan he let out when you ran your tongue along the seam of his lips. They parted, allowing you to lick along the inside of his lip before you bit down softly.
Only the applause from your guests covered the animalistic growl that tore itself from his throat.
You felt a heady thrill at your apparent power and giggled. After a heated moment and a shaky breath, so did Satoru. He straightened, pulling you up with him, and raised your joined hands overhead for all to see.
Mr. and Mrs. Satoru Gojo.
——————————————————————
For being largely made up of Satoru’s colleagues and the elder Gojo’s business acquaintances, your guests were incredibly gracious. Every person seemed to want to personally convey their best wishes; a happy marriage, good fortunes, continued health. You and Satoru thanked each person in turn, holding hands all the while.
And each time someone new came to express their pleasure, you felt your mind and heart crack just a bit more under the weight of the lie.
“We’re almost done,” he murmured against your ear. You’d finally made your way to the dance floor, taking solace in the security and solitude of Satoru’s arms. You nodded, cheek rubbing against his chest. “You okay?” he asked.
You nodded again. “Just counting down the minutes until we can go home.”
He chuckled, drawing you closer. “Well, tell you what, then. Let me go say goodnight to my parents and then we can leave, okay?” You smiled up at him, grateful.
“That sounds wonderful, husband.”
He grinned at you with a childish sort of glee. “Glad to hear it, wife.” He leaned down, pressed a soft kiss to your lips, and then spun you away from himself. “I’ll meet you by the altar in a few minutes?”
You smiled over your shoulder, turning to survey the crowd. Your parents had left an hour ago with profuse apologies; your father’s medication was wearing off and he was going to need to be off his feet, quickly. You waved and smiled at the few friends of Satoru’s you knew- Kento Nanami, Yu Haibara, Utahime Iori, Kiyotaka Ijichi- and waded through the crowd of celebrating people.
Satoru had asked whether it bothered you that none of your friends had come. The truth was that when life got busy and your friends stopped reaching out, when no one could accept how much time and emotion you put into Satoru after the incident, you’d let most of those friendships slide. Why should you beg for anyone’s attention when the only person whose attention you truly craved centered on you to begin with?
You’d never regretted that conviction, never even questioned it. Not even today.
You made rounds to the tables that gestured you over for long minutes before excusing yourself, breaking for the altar. You were passing an alcove when you heard Shoko’s voice, and you felt yourself perk up. You hadn’t had a chance to thank her for coming, and you wanted to make sure that you didn’t miss the opportunity to talk to her. Even if you didn’t feel the need to have a lot of friends, it would be refreshing to have a girl friend again- and she’d been important to Satoru, once. You wanted to make sure that she knew her presence was more than welcome in your lives.
It was only once you reached the garden wall that you realized she didn’t sound happy.
Then you heard Satoru’s voice.
“I just really don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this!”
“Because, Satoru! I understand that you care for her, but I really think you’re making the biggest mistake of your life!”
“Then let me make it!” Satoru roared, and the words had you breaking out into a cold sweat.
They couldn’t mean…?
He seemed to remember where they were and lowered his voice. “Then let me make it. If it’s such a huge mistake, you’ll be the first to know, alright? I’ll call you myself. ‘Shoko, you were right, I never should have married her.’ Is that what you want to hear?”
Your hands flew to cover your mouth, but they weren’t quick enough to muffle the pained sound that escaped you. You darted to put your back to the bower leading into their little section of the garden, praying to all the gods that you hadn’t been heard. For once, despite Satoru’s involvement, they listened.
Shoko sighed. “No, Satoru, it’s not. I just want you to be happy. I just don’t think you’re-”
You raised your hands to cover your ears and bolted away. You didn’t care how childish it was, you couldn’t bear to hear another word. You ran, heels catching small rocks and roots as you held your breath in an effort not to cry. If the tears fell, your face would puff up and your makeup would be ruined. There would be questions. You couldn’t deal with questions, especially not now.
You tucked yourself into the greenhouse and sucked down mouthfuls of cool air, staring straight at the ceiling. That was supposed to help, wasn’t it?
You couldn’t stay here for too long. You had to get control of yourself, and quickly. You tried desperately to conjure up any happy memories that didn’t involve Satoru and came up woefully short.
Maybe you needed some friends of your own, after all.
You breathed in, held, released. Breathed in, held, released. You repeated this until your hands stopped shaking, and then did it five more times for good measure. You straightened your shoulders. Then you walked back out into the throng. Head held high, smile firmly in place, you strode to the altar, catching sight of Satoru as he stepped out of the shade of a tree and into view.
Your breath caught in your throat. He was so beautiful. He beamed when he saw you, looking a touch deflated, but irritation all but vanished. You knew by the subtle shift of his eyebrows, though, that your own smile wasn’t fooling him.
——————————————————————
The ride back to your new penthouse was blessedly short, and blessedly quiet. With a driver from his parents’ staff, neither of you dared to say a word of meaning, settling on holding hands and whispering to each other about dinner and movies and sleep instead. When the car stopped, Satoru was out in a flash to open your door, handing you out like some Victorian lady. No matter how confused you felt, it made your mouth twitch up in a smile.
He led you through the apartment lobby and into the private elevator to your new home, even holding the door open for the driver following with a cart of wedding gifts. You clutched his hand the whole ride up, gluing yourself to his side even if you couldn’t bring yourself to look up at him. You could feel the worried glances he shot your direction when the driver wasn’t looking, though.
As soon as the elevator door opened, he was sweeping you up into his arms, striding purposefully across the short hall to your front door. You let yourself laugh as he managed to fish the keys out of his pocket without letting you slide so much as an inch, and swooned dramatically as he kicked in the door. He kissed you again and you felt your heart clench painfully. Then he turned to the driver, thanking him for his service and advising that he leave, lest he see something he’d rather not.
You’d never seen someone excuse themselves so quickly.
You both paused once the door clicked shut, waiting for the chime of the elevator, and then Satoru lowered you gently to the floor. You turned quickly, practically running into the living room. You began unfastening your jewelry, anything to keep your hands and eyes busy.
“Sweetheart?” He was worried. You knew better than to try to hide from him, but you’d hoped you could have even a moment longer to collect your thoughts. The drive here hadn’t been nearly long enough. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He was halfway across the room already. You knew that if he touched you, you’d lose your nerve.
“What did Shoko mean by ‘the biggest mistake of your life’?” The words were out before you could think better of them.
Abruptly, his footsteps stopped. The silence was deafening. With shaking hands, you laid your wedding jewelry on the coffee table, steeling yourself for whatever answer Satoru gave you.
You turned to face him and found him looking ashen and sick.
He swallowed hard.
“You heard that?”
Somehow, you’d expected something different. A denial, an indignant retort, even a joke. You scoffed in disbelief, only it didn’t sound much like a scoff. It sounded like a sob.
Satoru took two steps forward before stopping at your raised hand.
“Listen, I can explain.”
“Explain what, Gojo?” A look of profound hurt crossed his face at your use of his family name, but you couldn’t… You had to put some distance between you. You didn’t want to believe that there was any truth to the words, but you knew now that there had to be.
“You didn’t even argue with her! ‘The worst mistake of your life’?” He flinched then, finally breaking eye contact to look across the room past you. You choked on your tears, voice coming out harsh around the growing lump in your throat. “I know you never wanted to be married, but I-I thought I was helping you. I thought you wouldn’t care since it was only temporary. I thought you said this would be fun! You never told me you were having second thoughts!”
“You’re right, I didn’t,” he said softly. “Shoko thinks I’m making a mistake because… because I’ve been in love with you since we were children.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he was reeling back, breathing ragged as his hands went to his hair, as though maybe he’d never said the words aloud. As though maybe he’d never admitted them to himself. You nearly staggered backward, too. “Please, sweetheart, just let me explain. I swear, I-”
“You’re in love with me?” you whispered. Your heart raced, hope lighting your veins aflame. Tears had been building since the conversation started. They began to run down your cheeks now, and you saw Satoru move as though he was going to come to you, to do anything to make them stop, before forcing himself to stand still. He’d always hated to see you cry.
He clenched his fists. His eyes slid shut, and the pain evident on his face was so great that you flashed, for a moment, to him waking up in that hospital bed; bindings around his wounds and tubing in his arms, oxygen mask on his face, waking so slowly, so grievously wounded that he’d asked you if he was dead.
“I would never,” he began slowly, “have made you stay.” He let that sink in before continuing, so softly that you could barely hear him. “I thought…” His voice trailed off as he sank to his knees, almost as though the words had sapped him of the strength to bear his own weight.
“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I tried so hard not to feel the way I felt. I know you never felt the same about me.”
Just like that, all of the pieces clicked into place. Every blank expression at every stupid joke or offhanded comment you’d made about your inevitable divorce; every flash of doubt, of disappointment in his eyes when you brought up that it was only a fake marriage; the way he’d answered Shoko, as if it hurt him to say the words; the fury he’d felt toward his parents; even the way he’d detached himself from you when your kisses had been too heated. He’d been afraid.
You began to shake your head.
Shoko thought he was making a mistake because she thought you didn’t love him.
Because Satoru thought you didn’t love him.
He hadn’t stopped talking while your world crumbled around you.
“I thought that this was it, my chance for a little piece of all my dreams. I thought that I could have you by my side, just for a little while, that I could kiss you just once, and that it could carry me through the rest of my life.”
Your mind was spinning in a thousand directions, including a hysterical amusement. “You kissed me a lot more than once,” you whispered, a near-automated response borne of your shared sense of humor.
Satoru let out a strangled noise. “I was selfish.” You opened your mouth to protest, to deny it, to say that you didn’t mean it like that- to tell him you loved him. But he barreled on, voice strained.
“When you said you’d had a crush on me all those years ago, I thought ‘what if I could make her fall in love with me?’ I thought ‘this could be the rest of my life.’ And then you kissed me in the gym, and I knew that I had to try something, anything, everything. I knew that I…” He sucked in a deep breath and let out a breathless, awful, self-loathing laugh. “I thought that I couldn’t survive on just one kiss.”
He hung his head, burying his face in his hands. “Shoko knew the moment that she saw us together that I’d never told you how I felt. She figured it out so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to deny it.”
You’d unconsciously moved closer as he’d spoken. You threaded your fingers lightly through his hair and the air went out of him. He folded forward, hands coming to rest on either side of your feet.
“Please, baby, please forgive me. Shoko was right, it was unfair. It was so unfair to you. I’m so sorry.”
You tilted his head back to look up at you. He let you do it with a sharp intake of breath, gazing up at you with so much feeling that it nearly swept you off your feet.
“Please, sweetheart, say something. Anything,” he pleaded. He’d leaned forward to wrap his hands around the backs of your knees, drawing you closer to him. “Please.”
You had never in your life, ever heard Satoru beg for anything. Your heart galloped in your chest.
“You weren’t unfair,” you whispered. You opened your mouth to say more, but he was already stuttering out more apologies as if you hadn’t spoken. If he was experiencing anything like the roaring in your ears, he probably hadn’t heard you.
“Please, please, forgive me. I’ll do anything. We can get an annulment tomorrow if you want, to hell with my parents. Just please, let me make it right. I’ll never say another word about this, not one.” He pressed his face further into your thighs, murmuring against the fabric. “I can’t be without you. I would die without you.”
Everything in your chest constricted violently.
Of course, Satoru had a penchant for wild dramatics, making insane exaggerations out of anything and everything. A papercut was a mortal wound, a stubbed toe a shattered leg; a few degrees too warm and it was the seventh circle of hell, a few degrees too cool and it was the ninth; a runny nose might as well be a terminal illness, and boredom was just as serious.
This was not one of those exaggerations.
You didn’t want to think about a life without him, couldn’t dream of it, not even in your worst nightmares. Separating the two of you from each other was impossible, in any circumstance, in any world.
You knelt down, slotting your legs with Satoru’s, and tugged him forward by his hair. Your breaths mingled in the infinite, infinitesimal space between you, before you kissed him. The groan he let out was that of a wounded animal- pleading, haunted, and full of despair- as his hands rose to your cheeks. You could feel his restraint in the way his hands held you from coming any closer, in the way he barely moved his slack mouth, letting you kiss him.
“Please,” he whispered again, and you could hear his heart breaking on the word. “Please don’t leave me. You can’t say goodbye to me. Not like this.”
“You idiot,” you whispered. Slowly, between kisses, you murmured, “Don’t you know I’ve been in love with you since the day we met?” Against all odds, Satoru pulled back from you, holding your face away from his between shaking hands.
“Say it again,” he whispered, voice shot.
“I’ve been in love with you-” And then, he’s kissing you, and there’s nothing restrained about it, and you realize just how much he must have been holding back when he’d kissed you before.
This isn’t his stunned inaction from the kiss in the gym; not the gentle exploration of your practice kissing, where it should have been obvious that he meant to memorize the way it felt; not the giddy, showy kiss from the altar and certainly not the chaste, PG kisses you’d shared throughout the reception.
No. This kiss was all-consuming, desperate. Like Satoru meant to devour you, and maybe he did. He lapped at the inside of your lips, moaning softly. His long fingers roved over your body, pulling you closer until you gasped, and even that seemed to be not enough.
He let out an impatient noise, low in the back of his throat, before dragging you forward and up in one fluid motion. His hands gripped you with near-bruising force, pulling you by your knees to wrap your legs around him, and then your back hit the cool glass wall of your penthouse with a dull thud.
You half gasped, half giggled through Satoru’s apologies, muffled by the incessant slide of his lips on yours. His lean, hard body pressed fully along yours, moving against you almost of its own accord. You could feel the thundering of his heart against your chest. With his hips pinning yours to the wall, he lifted one hand from its place at your waist to grip the back of your neck.
Your hands finally, after all of the shock and movement of what was probably only the last 20 or so seconds, landed in his hair to tangle in the snowy strands. Satoru keened into your mouth, pressing even harder against you, a vibrating mass of wiry muscle and lanky elegance. You dropped one hand to squeeze at his bicep and wondered how you had ever ignored how hot your best friend was.
The hand on the back of your neck tightened, tilting your head to deepen the kiss, allowing Satoru to stroke your tongue with his, gentle and searching and urgent all at once. The hand at your waist pulled you relentlessly forward, molding your bodies together, and you squeezed your legs to keep his hips locked against yours.
Satoru was murmuring against your lips, against the sensitive skin of your throat, against the shell of your ear, hot breath lighting your skin on fire where it touched. You caught only snatches of what he was saying, a litany of praise and pleading.
“I love you, I love you, I want you, I need you, stay with me, don’t leave me, let me please you, my wife, my wife, my perfect wife.”
Your head thumped against the wall as you tilted it back, granting him access to leave a trail of sloppy kisses from your mouth to your ear, down your throat to your collarbone, across the sheer material of your wedding gown to bite softly at your shoulder.
“Marry me,” he groaned.
You couldn’t help the airy giggle that bubbled up. “I already did.”
“Marry me for real,” he whined, breathless.
“Yes. Of course, yes.” “Yes,” he hissed, finally shifting away from your poor living room wall with you in his arms. He stumbled down the hallway, drunk on you, toward your marital bedroom, unable to stop kissing you. “I’ve been in love with you for so long that I don’t even know who I am without loving you. If I’m even a person without loving you.”
“I was so afraid that you didn’t love me the way I loved you that I spent years trying to convince myself that I didn’t love you, but I never could,” you confessed, words rushing out, and Satoru let out a sob against your throat.
“I could never not love you,” he groaned. “Never in a million years, not in any life. I have wanted you…”
He bit the sentence off, stumbling as his knees hit the bed. He lowered you reverently to the plush duvet with an arm braced above your head, kisses slowing and softening as he stroked your cheek. “I’ve always wanted to marry you,” he murmured. “I’ve wanted you for so…” He trailed off, trembling as your hands slid up beneath his shirt to trace the lithe muscles of his back, and nuzzled behind your ear. He moaned brokenly. “Tell me if I’m moving too fast,” he whispered. “Tell me if you want to stop.”
You traced your hands down his sides, revelling as he panted in your ear. You raised your knees to stroke his thighs, his hips, before wrapping your legs slowly, deliberately around his slim waist, locking your heels at the small of his back. He took a great, shuddering breath, instinctively bending toward you when you raised your hands to shuck off his tuxedo jacket. Your fingers danced up to unbutton his vest before moving to his shirt, torturously slowly. You forced yourself to take your time, forced yourself not to yank and hope that the buttons would fly off like in some cheesy rom-com.
By the time you finished, you almost worried that Satoru would shake apart above you. He looked absolutely ruined; jaw clenched, eyes squeezed shut, a euphoric pain painted across every feature. You let your eyes rove his beautiful body, tracing scars with sight and touch alike until you reached the waistband of his trousers. All of the breath went out of him in a loud whoosh, and he dropped the hand stroking your face to the mattress to stop himself from crushing you. His eyes snapped open, a brilliant, dark turquoise nearly eclipsed by shimmering black. His mouth hung open, lust and love and disbelief warring as he frantically searched your face.
You crooked a tiny smile at him, and then leaned up until your lips brushed his. “I don’t want to stop.” He whined, surging forward to kiss you, grinding his hips down to yours with delicious pressure. “I think… we’ve waited… long enough,” you panted between kisses.
Oftentimes, Satoru couldn’t shut up. You’d been friends for so long that his incessant chatter ceased to phase you in the slightest. But you’d never heard him talk so much.
Any time his smart mouth wasn’t occupied with you, it was running. He alternated between babbling praise and incoherent adoration and begging you, though for what, you couldn’t be sure, since he was, by his own distraught admissions, getting everything he’d ever wanted, dreamed of, hoped for, waited for. He couldn’t seem to stop, and it stoked your ego in ways you’d never known you’d wanted, never imagined could turn you on so much.
And despite his obvious anguish, despite the delicious agony it took to exert his control, despite fifteen or more years of never daring to hope, or perhaps because of that, he put you first just like he always did, following only once he was satisfied that you had been, too.
——————————————————————
It hadn’t been the wedding night you’d expected- as far from traditional as it was from the plan- but you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, no matter how it had come about.
In the watery sunlight, you rolled to face your husband. Husband. He loosened his grip to let you, hand coming to rest on your bare hip as you settled to face him. His eyes bored into yours, sharp and bright as a storm.
“Hey,” you whispered.
“Hey,” he replied, and the low rumble of his voice sent a shiver of pleasure down your spine and straight between your aching thighs.
You reached up, carding your hands through his hair, and marvelled at the way his eyes fluttered closed. He was like putty beneath your touch. He turned to kiss your palm, drawing your hand down to cover his heart. He stared at you intensely.
“Tell me I’m not dreaming,” he murmured.
You raised one eyebrow in amusement. “That’d be some dream.”
“Best dream of my life.” He pulled you flush against him, pressing his lips to yours and sliding his tongue across your teeth, morning breath be damned. “Be better if it never ended.” He kissed from the corner of your mouth across your jaw, to that sensitive spot behind your ear. “Be best if it wasn’t a dream at all.”
You gripped his neck, pulling him closer, drowning in him. “It’s not a dream,” you whispered.
“Thank goodness,” he groaned. He rolled over to pin you to the bed, hands coming up to lace his fingers with yours. “I am so in love with you.” He traced your rings with one finger, lips spreading in a sleepy, adoring smile. “My beautiful wife.”
You giggled, face splitting in an uncontrollable smile, and leaned up to kiss him. “And I am so in love with you.” Another kiss as you stroked his ring in return. “My handsome husband.” And if the curve of his lips against your jaw and the movement of his body against yours was anything to go by, you were about to be shown how in love with you he was all over again.
Yeah, you could get used to this.
#nightingale writes#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x fem! reader#gojo satoru x fem! reader#gojo x reader#gojo x fem! reader#repost from my alt account
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You know that little captain fic made me think about starting a family with Nightingale and watching her become a mother. I feel like she'd be such an amazing mom 🥹
Indeed Nightingale would be an amazing mom and though she's strict when it comes to work, I headcannon that she'll be a patient mom and a fun one.
Imagine Captain Reader sitting at her desk doing work when the door barges open and she sees Nightingale holding their little baby in her arms, the baby would be about a few months old and would immediately stretch to go in your arms.
Nightingale always holds her baby gentle and whenever she's at work, she'll have her baby with her, ordering the others around all while checking in on her baby.
Picture Nightingale in a serious mode, interrogating a sinner when her three year old son/daughter interrupts her. "Mommy."
"Not now baby mommy's busy"
"Look what I drew." Nightingale would stop whatever she's doing and take a look at her baby's drawing, smiling brightly.
"That's amazing baby! Good job! Isn't this wonderful?" She held up the picture to the sinner as the sinner nodded quickly, afraid of how quickly her mood changed.
I can also imagine Nightingale and her baby planning on how to distract 'mommy' while she works. Captain Reader would be at her desk, working and then Nightingale would walk through the door and plop down on your lap, her giving you the puppy eyes as well as your baby and in that exact moment, you knew you weren't getting any work done.
Your baby sure do looks like you but has the personality of your wife.
#path to nowhere nightingale#ptn nightingale x reader#nightingale x reader#ptn nightingale#ptn#nightingale path to nowhere
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Call the Nightingale: Prologue
Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader
Summary: As princess of your kingdom, you have always been raised to do what is best for your people—trained in the art of diplomacy and how to make decisions. You see no reason why you cannot govern your kingdom on your own, but your father has decrees that you should take a husband. Suitors have been sent from the different kingdoms surrounding your own, but you have no intention of choosing any of them. You’ll let them think they have a chance, squabbling amongst each other for your hand, but you’ll show them all that you are a force to be reckoned with and taken seriously. (Medieval!Knight!AU)
Chapter CW: Death of a parent, World Building. Nothing too serious beyond that.
Word Count: 837
Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Blog Rules || Writing Rules
Once, you had believed the stories. You had been a little girl when your mother told you the story of how your kingdom came to be.
“The lands we rule, sweeting,” she had smiled, dimples creasing her cheeks, “were once the home of gods. Gods who ruled our people, and not too long after, they began to dwindle in numbers—marrying human spouses and producing children that little by little became just like the people they ruled. From these gods come the noble families of Maverick. The blood of the old gods still run through their veins.”
You listened with rapt attention as she wove stories into the air, just as she wove and embroidered the tapestries that hung the halls of the palace you called home. You watched as your mother, the queen, walked the halls with her head held high and each step taken in grace. You’d heard whispers from the courtesans and servants that your mother was a nymph from the sea past the cliffs who’d fallen in love with your father. She left her home in the sea to live by his side, a noble queen for a powerful kingdom.
Once, you had believed in love. You watched the soft gazes your mother gave your father, the way the crinkles around his eyes would smooth as his eyes landed on her, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips. You watched as they danced, laughter echoing the room as they gazed adoringly at each other, seemingly unaware of those around them. You dreamed of a love like that, of what your future love would look like. Would your husband be handsome? Strong? Would he look to you for guidance as your father did with your mother?
Once, you believed in happy endings. Your mother spoke of the great heroes who conquered the reigning evil, the monsters falling where the hero’s sword pierced their heart. She spoke of the women who aided the hero in his quest, reminding you that without the knowledge of women, the hero was doomed to fail.
“It’s their strength,” your mother had said one day, “that keeps a kingdom from falling apart during hard times and a people humble during the good.”
You stared at her with curious eyes, not quite understanding her meaning. She smiled at you, and you took a step towards her, stopping as the room began to spin. Your mother let out a shocked cry, lurching to catch you as you fell. Her hand felt cool as it cradled your face, and you let out a quiet whimper as she instructed her lady-in-waiting to fetch a doctor.
You don’t remember how long you were sick for, but it felt like years as the fever ravaged your tiny body, your muscles aching as your lungs struggled with each breath. Through it all, your mother never left your side, her worried eyes never letting you out of her sight as she held you in her arms. You vaguely remember your father coming and going, hushed whispers exchanged with your mother as his own worry seemed to age him. You awoke one day, fever having broken, to the rays of sun brushing against your face. Your sickness seemingly cured, your nursemaids called after you as you raced down the halls to find your mother, but it was too late. Your mother was buried only days later, on a hill overlooking the sea from which she had come.
Your father’s eyes seemed dull after that, often staring at nothing as he lost himself in thought. It was a while before he smiled again, and even then it never quite met his eyes. You did your best as his only child, throwing yourself into your studies once you were old enough to understand what was expected—no, needed—of you. You learned the art of diplomacy, studied law and battle strategy, all while learning how to conduct yourself as a proper lady within court. Your father’s courtiers and advisors insisted you reside yourself to playing the part of the helpless princess, doomed to be married off to the highest bidder or whomever would make the most advantageous match.
“You must think of the man that will replace you, my king,” Aldred, one of the oldest advisors, had murmured to him one day. You had been walking past the throne room when you heard their conversation, and it had made your blood boil. Why should a man sit upon your father’s throne? You were his blood, his only child and heir. You were more than capable of ruling the kingdom as his daughter. It wasn’t right, and you would make them see that. You didn’t need to sell yourself to the nearest man in order for the kingdom to remain great and prosperous, no.
Once, you had believed the stories. Once, you had believed in love. Once, you had believed in happy endings. Now, you were grown, and you would carve your own path. One that did not require you to submit.
A/N: Well, we're off! Friendly reminder that I don't do taglists (please quit asking). You can, however, follow my sideblog: @arcanevagabond-library and turn on post notifications to be alerted about when I update! You can also find my fics cross posted on AO3 under arcane_vagabond.
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