#nigel the badger

[racing-starlight]

"His name is Nigel."

That startles Daniel out of his staring. "What?"

"The badger," Valtteri says amidst the clatter of cabinet doors opening and closing, the clinks and rattles of something grainy being poured. When Valtteri emerges from the kitchen, he's carrying a metallic bowl full of what Daniel can only assume is pet food.

For. For the badger. That Valtteri has. In his backyard? What the fuck?

"What the fuck?" Daniel laughs, a tiny hint of something hysterical teethers the edge.

"His name is Nigel," Valtteri repeats, calm, sliding open glass door so he can gently place the bowl on the floor before closing it again. "I would offer to pet him, but he sort of came from the wild and I'm not sure if he's carrying anything dangerous."

"He?" Daniel squeaks.

Valtteri furrows his eyebrows. "Yes. He. Are you alright?"

"I'm--" He coughs. "Peachy! Right as a rain. Never better. Say, what did you say you were cooking for our dinner tonight?"

Valtteri gives him an odd look, but doesn't comment. "Since you're here, I think it's time to introduce you to some of my favorite homemade Finnish cuisine. You'll help me cook, of course."

He ambles back into the kitchen and Daniel, who has become kind of helpless at the whims of one Valtteri Bottas, follows him dutifully. Daniel takes in the well-furnished kitchen, all white cabinets and marble back splash, accented with wooden countertops. The island in the middle of it all is spotless, the same marble used for its surface.

"Wow, this sure is cosy and clean." He slides his hand along the table top, noting the lack of dust.

Valtteri's already pulling out the knife and chopping board. He doesn't look at Daniel when he responds, engrossed in procuring ingredients from the double-doored fridge. "I come by here more often nowadays than Monaco. Better for guests too."

"Ohh, get guests often here, huh," Daniel teases, sliding up next to him to nudge Valtteri over so he can help wash the vegetables.

Valtteri hums, acquiescing. "Just the favorites."

"Ah," Daniel ducks his head, suddenly bashful, because he still hasn't learned how to respond like a normal human being when Valtteri compliments him out of the blue. A silly, goofy little grin threatens to take over his face. "So I'm guessing Lewis and Seb gets to see the view quite often."

Valtteri rolls his eyes, used to Daniel's brand of deflection. After several clicks, the stove turns on. "I've also amassed a bit of a... menagerie here. Though Nigel's the only one who regularly follows me home."

His grin turns sly, the apple of his cheeks rounding out and blue eyes twinkling. "But, well. Now I have two pet badgers to feed."

Daniel startles and splutters on his own spit into coughs and hacks.

Valtteri chuckles.

[kidsnextdoor-doodles]

Can you do of my version of animal AU

Nigel Uno/Numbuh 1: European Badger Hoagie Gilligan/Numbuh 2: Red Squirrel Kuki Sanban/Numbuh 3: Shiba Inu Wallabe Beetles/Numbuh 4: Wallaby Abigail Lincoln/Numbuh 5: African Leopard Fanny Fulbright/Numbuh 86: Irish Hare Rachel T. McKenzie/Numbuh 362: Red-Tailed Hawk Patton Drillovsky/Numbuh 60: Alaskan Husky Herbie/Numbuh 65.3: Field Rat

Only had the energy to draw four Sorry!!

[laytonnpcbracket]

Welcome to the Layton NPC Showdown!

This is a bracket to determine which of the many memorable NPCs from across the Professor Layton games are the greatest.

GAMES INCLUDED: Every game except LBMR. Eternal Diva characters are also not included here.

WHAT COUNTS AS AN NPC?: Anyone who doesn't have a puzzle animation. Characters excluded are Layton, Luke, Flora, Clive, Emmy, Randall, Aurora, Des, Espella, Phoenix, Maya, Katrielle, Ernest, Sherl, Hastings, and Emiliana.

WILL THERE BE NOMINATIONS?: Nope! Every NPC will be included.

WHAT ABOUT THE LAYTONMOBILE/MOLENTARY EXPRESS?: No vehicles. Not characters.

WHAT ABOUT THE PUZZLE LADS/LASSES?: I only plan on including characters that we can speak to in-game, so no Puzzle Lads or Lasses. Sorry to the people who like them 😔

WHICH CHARACTERS ARE INCLUDED, THEN?: Anyone who isn't an exception listed above that is in the profiles of the game! A full list is enclosed below.

WHEN WILL THE TOURNAMENT START?: More information forthcoming on that! I have to seed the bracket first :)

WHY IS NAIYA YOUR ICON?: In my opinion, she's one of the more underrated NPCs of the series. I'll probably cycle through some of the ones I have available to me right now.

WHAT CRITERIA SHOULD I VOTE ON?: Whatever makes you happy :)

ARE ALTER EGOS SEPERATE CHARACTERS?: No. For instance, Ratman is not included because his secret identity is in the tournament.

US OR UK NAMES?: I will try to make available as many names for the NPCs as possible! Which includes their Japanese names and as many names in the localizations as I am able to obtain from the wiki and my own sources. I'll probably reliably have the English (both versions where applicable), Japanese, and French names for every character when I do the bracket rounds. The list below however is entirely in English.

And now for a list of the entries! I didn't check all of these for inconsistencies, but I attempted to ascertain that I used the US versions. Some of them might be UK versions though because that's the version of the game I have (specifically Diabolical Box NPCs and Last Specter NPCs -- I know some of their US names but not all).

Franco

Stachenscarfen

Ingrid

Percy

Marco

Ramon

Matthew

Lady Dahlia Reinhold

Gordon Reinhold

Simon Reinhold

Claudia

Beatrice

Deke

Agnes

Pauly

Crouton

Flick

Rodney

Chelmey

Lucy

Zappone

Gerard

Jarvis

Adrea

Pavel

Crumm

Prosciutto

Archibald

Sylvain

Martha

Giuseppe

Augustus Reinhold

Granny Riddleton

Don Paolo

Bruno

Andrew Schrader

Anton Herzen

Katia Anderson

Sophia

Mr. Anderson

Beluga

Sammy Thunder

Macaroon

Chester

Babette

Tom

Ilyana

Geoff

Garland

Nigel

Jacques

Barton

Grousley

Steve

Capone

Mitzi

Lili

Sally

Marjorie

Conrad

Karla

Romie

Dorothea

Clabber

Oscar

Nick

Gabe

Balsa

Wurtzer

Lopez

Laurel

Parcelle

Lulu

Albert

Madeline

Remy

Angus

Kostya

Dylan

Joseph

Rory

Lila

Damon

Felix

Niles

Duke

Hopper

Olson

Derby

Dawson

Joanie

Krantz

Grinko

Marina

Opal

Ray

Gregorio

Narice

Gertie

Hamster

Precious

Winston

Claire

Dimitri Allen

Bill Hawks

Spring

Cogg

Dean Delmona

Shipley

Puzzlette

Beasley

Parrot

Subject 3

Bostro

Family Goon

Lockjaw

Splinters

Marzano

Layman

Fisheye

Silky

Shmelmey

Shmarton

Ward

Smith

Florence

Vito

Art

Niklaus

Anita

Alfie

Hazel (UF)

Adeline

Max

Becky

Margaret

Pallard

Dupree

Natalia

Harold

Horace

Hardy

Cuthbert

Segal

Catanova

Rosetta

Colby

Rudolph

Misha

Dylan

Viv

Pepper

Checker

Avogadro

Maya (UF)

Myrtle

Belle

Graham

Slate

Ernest (UF)

Berta

Minnie

Paige

Raleigh

Beacon

Mark

Rosa

Grosky

Keats

Clark Triton

Brenda Triton

Arianna Barde

Tony Barde

Doland Noble

Levin Jakes

Loosha

Toppy

Crow

Marilyn

Roddy

Scraps

Tweeds

Wren

Socket

Louis

Badger

Aldus

Charlie

Jasmine

Bucky

Fische

Beth

Mido

Clarence

Joe

Molly

Marion

Browne

Hugo

Dominica

Paddy

Brock

Aunt Taffy

Shackwell

Greppe

Goosey

Mimi

Hans Jakes

Maggie

Yamada

Sean

Olga

Finch

Sebastian

Cornelius

Chappy

Hannah

Mick

Colby

Monica

Thomas

Nate

Ewan

Chief Engineer

Naiya

Chippe

Bram

Ghent

Nordic

Gilbert

Roland Layton

Lucille Layton

Henry Ledore

Angela Ledore

Alphonse Dalston

Leonard Bloom

Sheffield

Billson

Mrs Ascot

Pascal

Guy

Lapushka

Gustav

Gonzales

Drake

Tyrone

Sterling

Mordy

Collette

Maurice

Juggles

Puck

Yukkles

Murphy

Cookie

Tanya

Firth

Madelaine

Stumble

Artie

Michelle

Nils

Frankie

Conner

Humbert

Policeman (MM)

Yuming

Esther

Lionel

Doug

Mr. Collins

Leon Bronev

Raymond

Prima

Harald

Donna

Mascha

Georg

Mackintosh

Solveig

Erik

Hazel (AL)

Igor

Sonya

Moos

Larisa

Karpin

Boris

Dariya

Pavlova

Carmichael

Amelie Chelmey

Policeman (AL)

Tommy

Morel

Chestnut

Amanita

Blewitt

Chanterelle

Button

Lepidella

Bud

Javier

Benny

Miranda

Martine

Barbara

Ruby

Scarlett

Flint

Old Red

Jesse

Derringer

Julien

Romilda

Sheppard

Piet

Felicia

Rik

Beatrix

Umid

Banu

Dana

Temir

Mehri

Nassir

Adler

Robin

Macaw

Plover

Grouse

Gannet

Swift

Carmine Accidenti

Olivia Aldente

Allan

Bardly

Zacharias Barnham

Newton Belduke

Birdly

Boistrum

Cecil

Cinderellia

Constantine

Cracker

Cutter

Darklaw

Dewey

Dzibilchaltunchunchucmil

Patty Eclaire

Eve (cat)

Flynch

Foxy

Jean Greyerl

Hoot

Judge

Kira

Knight Captain

Knightle

Lottalance

Lyewood

Lettie Mailer

Balmung

Mary

Muffet

Muggs

Ridelle Mystere

Nozey

Petal

Petter

Ms Primstone

Emeer Punchenbaug

Robbs

Old Rootie

Rouge

Servius

Shakey

Johnny Smiles

Snowy

Storyteller

Tuggit

Price

Wordsmith

Pipper Lowonida

Phineas Barnone

Madame Doublée

Liza Wight

Grant Sloans

Cesar Chance

Mustafa Fulhold

Hans Lipski

Aleks Lipski

Maverick D. Rector

Seymore Fraymes

The Major

Eddie Torre

Hayes

Maid

Wooooster

Bianca Teller

Security Guard

Shadee

Taboras Lloyd

Douglas Dert

Ratboy

Mo Heecan

Mrs Slow the Tailor

Midas Pullman

Declan Swabber

Abel Seamon

Felicity Hastings

Gene Ohm

Billy Kidd

Royall Britannias

Clover Pryce

PC Beate

DC Booker

Waiter

Séan Butchin

Bo Bells

Hessie Tate

Benjy

Bess

Keane Fisher

Bob Bracket

Stripey

Patch

Cat

Yapper

Gudrun Weldon

[rhaenyrasbabe]

The Duke and I (part 2)

The new Duke of Hastings is a most interesting character. While it is common knowledge that he was not on favorable terms with his father, even This Author is unable to learn the reason for the estrangement .

Lady Whistledown's Society Papers, 26 April 1813

Later that week, Diana found herself standing on the fringes of Lady Danbury's ballroom, far away from the fashionable crowd. She was quite content with her position.

Normally she would have enjoyed the festivities; she liked a good party as well as the next young lady, but earlier that evening, Anthony had informed her that Nigel Berbrooke had sought him out two days earlier and asked for her hand. Again. Anthony had, of course, refused (again!), but Diana had the sinking feeling that Nigel was going to prove uncomfortably persistent. After all, two marriage proposals in two weeks did not paint a picture of a man who accepted defeat easily.

Across the ballroom she could see him looking this way and that, and she shrank further into the shadows.

She had no idea how to deal with the poor man. He wasn't very bright, but he also wasn't unkind, and though she knew she had to somehow put an end to his infatuation, she was finding it far easier to take the coward's way out and simply avoid him.

She was considering slinking into the ladies' retiring room when a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.

"I say, Diana, what are you doing all the way over here?"

Diana looked up to see her eldest brother making his way toward her. "Anthony," she said, trying to decide if she was pleased to see him or annoyed that he might be coming over to meddle in her affairs. "I hadn't realized you would be in attendance."

"Mother," he said grimly. No other words were necessary.

"Ah," Diana said with a sympathetic nod. "Say no more. I understand completely."

"She made a list of potential brides." He shot his sister a beleaguered look. "We do love her, don't we?"

Diana choked on a laugh. "Yes, Anthony, we do."

"It's temporary insanity," he grumbled. "It has to be. There is no other explanation. She was a perfectly reasonable mother until you reached marriageable age."

"Me?" Diana squeaked. "Then this is all my fault? You're a full eight years older than I am!"

"Yes, but she wasn't gripped by this matrimonial fervor until you came along."

Diana snorted. "Forgive me if I lack sympathy. I received a list last year."

"Did you?"

"Of course. And lately she's been threatening to deliver them to me on a weekly basis. She badgers me on the issue of marriage far more than you could ever imagine. After all, bachelors are a challenge. Spinsters are merely pathetic. And in case you hadn't noticed, I'm female."

Anthony let out a low chuckle. "I'm your brother. I don't notice those things." He gave her a sly, sideways look. "Did you bring it?"

"My list? Heavens, no. What can you be thinking?"

His smile widened. "I brought mine."

Diana gasped. "You didn't!"

"I did. Just to torture Mother. I'm going peruse it right in front of her, pull out my quizzing glass—"

"You don't have a quizzing glass."

He grinned—the slow, devastatingly wicked smile that all Bridgerton males seemed to possess. "I bought one just for this occasion."

"Anthony, you absolutely cannot. She will kill you. And then, somehow, she'll find a way to blame me. "

"I'm counting on it."

Diana swatted him in the shoulder, eliciting a loud enough grunt to cause a half dozen partygoers to send curious looks in their direction.

"A solid punch," Anthony said, rubbing his arm.

"A girl can't live long with four brothers without learning how to throw one." She crossed her arms. "Let me see your list."

"After you just assaulted me?"

Diana rolled her brown eyes and cocked her head in a decidedly impatient gesture.

"Oh, very well." He reached into his waistcoat, pulled out a folded slip of paper, and handed it to her. "Tell me what you think. I'm sure you'll have no end of cutting remarks."

Diana unfolded the paper and stared down at her mother's neat, elegant handwriting. The Viscountess Bridgerton had listed the names of eight women. Eight very eligible, very wealthy young women. "Precisely what I expected," Diana murmured.

"Is it as dreadful as I think?"

"Worse. Philipa Featherington is as dumb as a post."

"And the rest of them?"

Diana looked up at him under raised brows. "You didn't really want to get married this year, anyway, did you?"

Anthony winced. "And how was your list?"

"Blessedly out-of-date, now. Three of the five married last season. Mother is still berating me for letting them slip through my fingers."

The two Bridgertons let out identical sighs as they slumped against the wall. Violet Bridgerton was undeterred in her mission to marry off her children. Anthony, her eldest son, and Diana, her eldest daughter, had borne the brunt of the pressure, although Diana suspected that the viscountess might have cheerfully married off ten-year-old Hyacinth if she'd received a suitable offer.

"Good God, you look a pair of sad sorts. What are you doing so far off in the corner?"

Another instantly recognizable voice. "Benedict," Diana said, glancing sideways at him without moving her head. "Don't tell me Mother managed to get you to attend tonight's festivities."

He nodded grimly. "She has completely bypassed cajoling and moved on to guilt. Three times this week she has reminded me I may have to provide the next viscount, if Anthony here doesn't get busy."

Anthony groaned.

"I assume that explains your flight as well to the darkest corners of the ballroom?" Benedict continued. "Avoiding Mother?"

"Actually," Anthony replied, "I saw Di skulking in the corner and—"

"Skulking?" Benedict said with mock horror.

She shot them both an irritated scowl. "I came over to hide from Nigel Berbrooke," she explained. "I left Mother in the company of Lady Jersey, so she's not likely to pester me anytime soon, but Nigel—"

"Is more monkey than man," Benedict quipped.

"Well, I wouldn't have put it that way precisely," Diana said, trying to be kind, "but he isn't terribly bright, and it's so much easier to stay out of his way than to hurt his feelings. Of course now that you lot have found me, I shan't be able to avoid him for long."

Anthony voiced a simple, "Oh?"

Diana looked at her two older brothers, both an inch above six feet with broad shoulders and melting brown eyes. They each sported thick chestnut hair—much the same color as her own—and more to the point, they could not go anywhere in polite society without a small gaggle of twittering young ladies following them about.

And where a gaggle of twittering young ladies went, Nigel Berbrooke was sure to follow.

Already Diana could see heads turning in their direction. Ambitious mamas were nudging their daughters and pointing to the two Bridgerton brothers, off by themselves with no company save for their sister.

"I knew I should have made for the retiring room," Diana muttered.

"I say, what's that piece of paper in your hand, Di?" Benedict inquired.

Somewhat absentmindedly, she handed him the list of Anthony's supposed brides.

At Benedict's loud chortle, Anthony crossed his arms, and said, "Try not to have too much fun at my expense. I predict you'll be receiving a similar list next week."

"No doubt," Benedict agreed. "It's a wonder Colin—" His eyes snapped up. "Colin!"

Yet another Bridgerton brother joined the crowd.

"Oh, Colin!" Diana exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "It's so good to see you."

"Note that we didn't receive similarly enthusiastic greetings," Anthony said to Benedict.

"You I see all the time," Diana retorted. "Colin's been away a full year." After giving him one last squeeze, she stepped back, and scolded, "We didn't expect you until next week."

Colin's one-shoulder shrug matched his lopsided smile to perfection. "Paris grew dull."

"Ah," Diana said with a shrewd look in her eye. "Then you ran out of money."

Colin laughed and held up his hands in surrender. "Guilty as charged."

Anthony hugged his brother, and said gruffly, "It's damned fine to have you home, brother. Although the funds I sent you should have lasted you at least until—"

"Stop," Colin said helplessly, laughter still tingeing his voice. "I promise you may scold me all you want tomorrow. Tonight I merely wish to enjoy the company of my beloved family."

Benedict let out a snort. "You must be completely broke if you're calling us 'beloved.' " But he leaned forward to give his brother a hearty hug all the same. "Welcome home."

Colin, always the most devil-may-care of the family, grinned, his green eyes twinkling. "Good to be back. Although I must say the weather is not nearly so fine as on the Continent, and as for the women, well, England would be hard pressed to compete with the signorina I—"

Diana punched him in the arm. "Kindly recall that there is a lady present, churl." But there was little ire in her voice. Of all her siblings, Colin was the closest to her in age—only eighteen months her elder. As children, they had been inseparable—and always in trouble. Colin was a natural prankster, and Diana had never needed much convincing to go along with his schemes. "Does Mother know you're home?" she asked.

Colin shook his head. "I arrived to an empty house, and—"

"Yes, Mother put the younger ones to bed early tonight," Diana interrupted.

"I didn't want to wait about and twiddle my thumbs, so Humboldt gave me your direction and I came here."

Diana beamed, her wide smile lending warmth to her dark eyes. "I'm glad you did."

"Where is Mother?" Colin asked, craning his neck to peer over the crowd. Like all Bridgerton males, he was tall, so he didn't have to stretch very far.

"Over in the corner with Lady Jersey," Diana replied.

Colin shuddered. "I'll wait until she's extricated herself. I have no wish to be flayed alive by that dragon."

"Speaking of dragons," Benedict said pointedly. His head didn't move, but his eyes flicked off to the left.

Diana followed his line of vision to see Lady Danbury marching slowly toward them. She carried a cane, but Diana swallowed nervously and steeled her shoulders. Lady Danbury's often cutting wit was legendary among the ton. Diana had always suspected that a sentimental heart beat under her acerbic exterior, but still, it was always terrifying when Lady Danbury pressed one into conversation.

"No escape," Diana heard one of her brothers groan.

Diana shushed him and offered the old lady a hesitant smile.

Lady Danbury's brows rose, and when she was but four feet away from the group of Bridgertons, she stopped, and barked, "Don't pretend you don't see me!"

This was followed by a thump of the cane so loud that Diana jumped back just enough to trample Benedict's toe.

"Euf," said Benedict.

Since her brothers appeared to have gone temporarily mute (except for Benedict, of course, but Diana didn't think that grunts of pain counted as intelligible speech) Diana swallowed, and said, "I hope I did not give that impression, Lady Danbury, for—"

"Not you," Lady Danbury said imperiously. She jabbed her cane into the air, making a perfectly horizontal line that ended perilously close to Colin's stomach. "Them."

A chorus of mumbled greetings emerged as a response.

Lady Danbury flicked the men the briefest of glances before turning back to Diana, and saying, "Mr. Berbrooke was asking after you."

Diana actually felt her skin turn green. "He was?"

Lady Danbury gave her a curt nod. "I'd nip that one in the bud, were I you, Miss Bridgerton."

"Did you tell him where I was?"

Lady Danbury's mouth slid into a sly, conspiratorial smile. "I always knew I liked you. And no, I did not tell him where you were."

"Thank you," Diana said gratefully.

"It'd be a waste of a good mind if you were shackled to that nitwit," Lady Danbury said, "and the good Lord knows that the ton can't afford to waste the few good minds we've got."

"Er, thank you," Diana said.

"As for you lot"—Lady Danbury waved her cane at Diana's brothers—"I still reserve judgment. You"— she pointed the cane at Anthony—"I'm inclined to be favorable toward, since you refused Berbrooke's suit on your sister's behalf, but the rest of you ... Hmmph."

And with that she walked away.

"'Hmmph?'" Benedict echoed. "'Hmmph?' She purports to quantify my intelligence and all she comes up with is 'Hmmph?'"

Diana smirked. "She likes me."

"You're welcome to her," Benedict grumbled.

"Rather sporting of her to warn you about Berbrooke," Anthony admitted.

Diana nodded. "I believe that was my cue to take my leave." She turned to Anthony with a beseeching look. "If he comes looking for me—"

"I'll take care of it," he said gently. "Don't worry."

"Thank you." And then, with a smile to her brothers, she slipped out of the ballroom.

As Aemond walked quietly through the halls of Lady Danbury's London home, it occurred to him that he was in a singularly good mood. This, he thought with a chuckle, was truly remarkable, considering the fact that he was about to attend a society ball and thus subject himself to all the horrors Anthony Bridgerton had laid out before him earlier that afternoon.

But he could console himself with the knowledge that after today, he needn't bother with such functions again; as he had told Anthony earlier that afternoon, he was only attending this particular ball out of loyalty to Lady Danbury, who, despite her curmudgeonly ways, had always been quite nice to him as a child.

His good mood, he was coming to realize, derived from the simple fact that he was pleased to be back in England.

Not that he hadn't enjoyed his journeys across the globe. He'd traveled the length and breadth of Europe, sailed the exquisitely blue seas of the Mediterranean, and delved into the mysteries of North Africa. From there he'd gone on to the Holy Land, and then, when inquiries revealed that it was not yet time to return home, he crossed the Atlantic and explored the West Indies. At that point he considered moving on to the United States of America, but the new nation had seen fit to enter into conflict with Britain, so Aemond had stayed away.

Besides, that was when he'd learned that his father, ill for several years, had finally died.

It was ironic, really. Aemond wouldn't have traded his years of exploration for anything. Six years gave a man a lot of time to think, a lot of time to learn what it meant to be a man. And yet the only reason the then-twenty-two-year-old Aemond had left England was because his father had suddenly decided that he was finally willing to accept his son.

Aemond hadn't been willing to accept his father, though, and so he'd simply packed his bags and left the country, preferring exile to the old duke's hypocritical overtures of affection.

It had all started when Aemond had finished at Oxford. The duke hadn't originally wanted to pay for his son's schooling; Aemond had once seen a letter written to a tutor stating that he refused to let his idiot son make a fool of the family at Eton. But Aemond had had a hungry mind as well as a stubborn heart, and so he'd ordered a carriage to take him to Eton, knocked on the headmaster's door, and announced his presence.

It had been the most terrifying thing he'd ever done, but he'd somehow managed to convince the headmaster that the mix-up was the school's fault, that somehow Eton must have lost his enrollment papers and fees. He'd copied all of his father's mannerisms, raising an arrogant brow, lifting his chin, and looking down his nose, and generally appearing as if he thought he owned the world.

And the entire time, he'd been quaking in his shoes, terrified that at any moment his words would grow garbled and land on top of each other, that "I am Earl Clyvedon, and I am here to begin classes," would instead come out as, "I am Earl Clyvedon, and I am h-h-h-h-h-h—"

But it hadn't, and the headmaster, who'd spent enough years educating England's elite to immediately recognize Aemond as a member of the Targaryen family, had enrolled him posthaste and without question. It had taken several months for the duke (who was always quite busy with his own pursuits) to learn of his son's new status and change in residence. By that point, Aemond was well ensconced at Eton, and it would have looked very bad if the duke had pulled the boy out of school for no reason.

And the duke didn't like to look bad.

Aemond had often wondered why his father hadn't chosen to make an overture at that time. Clearly Aemond wasn't tripping over his every word at Eton; the duke would have heard from the headmaster if his son weren't able to keep up with his studies. Aemond's speech still occasionally slipped, but by then he'd grown remarkably proficient in covering up his mistakes with a cough or, if he was lucky enough to be taking a meal at the time, a well-timed sip of tea or milk.

But the duke never even wrote him a letter. Aemond supposed his father had grown so used to ignoring his son that it didn't even matter that he wasn't proving to be an embarrassment to the Targaryen name.

After Eton, Aemond followed the natural progression to Oxford, where he earned the reputations of both scholar and rake. Truth be told, he hadn't deserved the label of rake any more than most of the young bucks at university, but Aemond’s somewhat aloof demeanor somehow fed the persona.

Aemond wasn't exactly certain how it had happened, but gradually he became aware that his peers craved his approval. He was intelligent and athletic, but it seemed his elevated status had more to do with his manner than anything else. Because Aemond didn't speak when words were not necessary, people judged him to be arrogant, just as a future duke should be. Because he preferred to surround himself with only those friends with whom he truly felt comfortable, people decided he was exceptionally discriminating in his choice of companions, just as a future duke should be.

He wasn't very talkative, but when he did say something, he had a quick and often ironic wit—just the sort of humor that guaranteed that people would hang on his every word. And again, because he didn't constantly run off at the mouth, as did so many of the ton, people were even more obsessed with what he had to say.

He was called "supremely confident," "heart stoppingly handsome," and "the perfect specimen of English manhood." Men wanted his opinion on any number of topics.

The women swooned at his feet.

Aemond never could quite believe it all, but he enjoyed his status nonetheless, taking what was offered him, running wild with his friends, and enjoying the company of all the young widows and opera singers who sought his attention—and every escapade was all the more delicious for knowing that his father must disapprove.

But, as it turned out, his father didn't entirely disapprove. Unbeknownst to Simon, the Duke of Hastings had already begun to grow interested in the progress of his only son. He requested academic reports from the university and hired a Bow Street Runner to keep him apprised of Aemond’s extracurricular activities. And eventually, the duke stopped expecting every missive to contain tales of his son's idiocy.

It would have been impossible to pinpoint exactly when his change of heart occurred, but one day the duke realized that his son had turned out rather nicely, after all.

The duke puffed out with pride. As always, good breeding had proven true in the end. He should have known that Targaryen blood could not produce an imbecile.

Upon finishing Oxford with a first in mathematics, Aemond came to London with his friends. He had, of course, taken bachelor's lodgings, having no wish to reside with his father. And as Aemond went out in society, more and more people misinterpreted his pregnant pauses for arrogance and his small circle of friends for exclusivity.

His reputation was sealed when Beau Brummel—the then recognized leader of society—had asked a rather involved question about some trivial new fashion. Brummel's tone had been condescending and he had clearly hoped to embarrass the young lord. As all London knew, Brummel loved nothing better than to reduce England's elite into blithering idiots. And so he had pretended to care about Aemond’s opinion, ending his question with a drawled, "Don't you think?"

As an audience of gossips watched with baited breath, Simon, who couldn't have cared less about the specific arrangement of the Prince's cravat, simply turned his icy blue eyes on Brummel, and answered, "No."

No explanation, no elaboration, just, "No."

And then he walked away.

By the next afternoon, Aemond might as well have been the king of society. The irony was unnerving. Aemond didn't care for Brummel or his tone, and he would probably have delivered a more loquacious set-down if he'd been sure he could do so without stumbling over his words. And yet in this particular instance, less had most definitely proven to be more, and Aemond’s terse sentence had turned out to be far more deadly than any long-winded speech he might have uttered.

Word of the brilliant and devastatingly handsome Hastings heir naturally reached the duke's ears. And although he did not immediately seek Aemond out, Aemond began to hear bits and pieces of gossip that warned him that his relationship with his father might soon see a change. The duke had laughed when he'd heard of the Brummel incident, and said, "Naturally. He's a Targaryen." An acquaintance mentioned that the duke had been heard crowing about Aemond’s first at Oxford.

And then the two came face-to-face at a London ball.

The duke would not allow Aemond to give him the cut direct.

Aemond tried. Oh, how he tried. But no one had the ability to crush his confidence like his father, and as he stared at the duke, who might as well have been a mirror image, albeit slightly older version, of himself, he couldn't move, couldn't even try to speak. His tongue felt thick, his mouth felt odd, and it almost seemed as if his stutters had spread from his mouth to his body, for he suddenly didn't even feel right in his own skin. The duke had taken advantage of Aemond’s momentary lapse of reason by embracing him with a heartfelt, "Son."

Aemond had left the country the very next day.

He'd known that it would be impossible to avoid his father completely if he remained in England. And he refused to act the part of his son after having been denied a father for so many years.

Besides, lately he'd been growing bored of London's wild life. Rake's reputation aside, Aemond didn't really have the temperament of a true debauche. He had enjoyed his nights on the town as much as any of his dissolute cronies, but after three years in Oxford and one in London, the endless round of parties and prostitutes was growing, well, old.

And so he left.

Now, however, he was glad to be back. There was something soothing about being home, something peaceful and serene about an English springtime. And after six years of solitary travel, it was damned good to find his friends again.

He moved silently through the halls, making his way to the ballroom. He hadn't wanted to be announced; the last thing he desired was a declaration of his presence. The afternoon's conversation with Anthony Bridgerton had reaffirmed his decision not to take an active role in London society. He had no plans to marry. Ever. And there wasn't much point in attending ton parties if one wasn't looking for a wife.

Still, he felt he owed some loyalty to Lady Danbury after her many kindnesses during his childhood, and truth be told, he held a great deal of affection for the forthright old lady. It would have been the height of rudeness to spurn her invitation, especially since it had come accompanied by a personal note welcoming him back to the country.

Since Aemond knew his way around this house, he'd entered through a side door. If all went well, he could slip unobtrusively into the ballroom, give his regards to Lady Danbury, and leave.

But as he turned a corner, he heard voices, and he froze.

Aemond suppressed a groan. He'd interrupted a lovers' tryst. Bloody hell. How to extricate himself without notice? If his presence was discovered, the ensuing scene was sure to be replete with histrionics, embarrassment, and no end of tedious emotion. Better just to melt into the shadows and let the lovers go on their merry way.

But as Aemond started backing quietly up, he heard something that caught his attention.

"No."

No? Had some young lady been forced into the deserted hallway against her will? Aemond had no great desire to be anyone's hero, but even he could not let such an insult pass. He craned his neck slightly, pressing his ear forward so that he might hear better. After all, he might have heard incorrectly. If no one needed saving, he certainly wasn't going to charge forward like some bullish fool.

"Nigel," the girl was saying, "you really shouldn't have followed me out here."

"But I love you!" the young man cried out in a passionate voice. "All I want is to make you my wife."

Aemond nearly groaned. Poor besotted fool. It was painful to listen to.

"Nigel," she said again, her voice surprisingly kind and patient, "my brother has already told you that I cannot marry you. I hope that we may continue on as friends."

"But your brother doesn't understand!"

"Yes," she said firmly, "he does."

"Dash it all! If you don't marry me, who will?"

Aemond blinked in surprise. As proposals went, this one was decidedly unromantic.

The girl apparently thought so, too. "Well," she said, sounding a bit disgruntled, "it's not as if there aren't dozens of other young ladies in Lady Danbury's ballroom right now. I'm sure one of them would be thrilled to marry you."

Aemond leaned forward slightly so that he could get a glimpse of the scene. The girl was in shadows, but he could see the man quite clearly. His face held a hangdog expression, and his shoulders were slumped forward in defeat. Slowly, he shook his head. "No," he said forlornly, "they don't. Don't you see? They...they...”

Aemond winced as the man fought for words. He didn't appear to be stuttering so much as emotionally overcome, but it was never pleasant when one couldn't get a sentence out.

"No one's as nice as you," the man finally said. "You're the only one who ever smiles at me."

"Oh, Nigel," the girl said, sighing deeply. "I'm sure that's not true."

But Aemond could tell she was just trying to be kind. And as she sighed again, it became apparent to him that she would not need any rescuing. She seemed to have the situation well in hand, and while Aemond felt vague pangs of sympathy for the hapless Nigel, there wasn't anything he could do to help.

Besides, he was beginning to feel like the worst sort of voyeur.

He started inching backward, keeping his eye focused on a door that he knew led to the library. There was another door on the other side of that room, one that led to the conservatory. From there he could enter the main hall and make his way to the ballroom. It wouldn't be as discreet as cutting through the back corridors, but at least poor Nigel wouldn't know that his humiliation had had a witness. But then, just a footstep away from a clean getaway, he heard the girl squeal.

"You have to marry me!" Nigel cried out. "You have to! I'll never find anyone else—"

"Nigel, stop!"

Aemond turned around, groaning. It looked like he was going to have to rescue the chit, after all. He strode back into the hall, putting his sternest, most dukish expression on his face. The words, "I believe the lady asked you to stop," rested on the tip of his tongue, but it seemed that he wasn't fated to play the hero tonight, after all, because before he could make a sound, the young lady pulled back her right arm and landed a surprisingly effective punch squarely on Nigel's jaw.

Nigel went down, his arms comically flailing in the air as his legs slid out from under him. Aemond just stood there, watching in disbelief as the girl dropped to her knees.

"Oh dear," she said, her voice squeaking slightly. "Nigel, are you all right? I didn't mean to hit you so hard."

Aemond laughed. He couldn't help it. The girl looked up, startled.

Aemond caught his breath. She had been in shadows until now, and all he'd been able to discern of her appearance was a wealth of thick, dark hair. But now, as she lifted her head to face him, he saw that she had large, equally dark eyes, and the widest, lushest mouth he'd ever seen. Her heart-shaped face wasn't beautiful by society standards, but something about her quite simply sucked the breath from his body.

Her brows, thick but delicately winged, drew together. "Who," she asked, not sounding at all pleased to see him, "are you?"

[tikal-the-echidna]

Tag List: Extended Sonic Media Characters

#antoine d’coolette

#belle the tinkerer

#bernadette the hedgehog

#blockhead bill

#bocoe

#bokkun

#bunnie rabbot

#cosmo the seedrian

#decoe

#dr starline

#dulcy the dragon

#eclipse the darkling

#enerjak

#fiona fox

#grounder

#jewel the beetle

#jules the hedgehog

#julie su

#king acorn

#king maximillian acorn

#king nigel acorn

#kitsunami the fennec

#lien-da

#locke the echidna

#manic the hedgehog

#muttski

#nicole the holo lynx

#queen aleena

#robian mecha sonic

#rotor walrus

#rough the skunk

#sally acorn, #mecha sally

#scourge the hedgehog

#scratch

#sera

#shade the echidna

#shard the metal sonic

#snively robotnik

#sonia the hedgehog

#sticks the badger

#surge the tenrec

#tangle the lemur

#tikhaos

#tumble the skunk

#uncle chuck

#whisper the wolf

[samobservessonic]

Even if he didn’t star on the cover, Sonic’s comic is still the first and foremost in this issue, giving us a Sonic badnik design that I feel was ahead of its time - if this thing appeared in the modern tumblr sphere today instead of 30 years too early, you just know it’d be prime blorbo material

ALSO! Importantly, this is the first story by one of the main-stay StC writers, Nigel Kitching! I didn’t actually know that while I was reading the story and only looked it up afterwards to check the credits. But honestly, I’m glad that I did it this way, because when I ended up enjoying the story a lot and saw it was by him, I was like “Ah, that makes sense!”

I think we can all guess how this story’s going to go, huh? We cut to Tails chasing after Sonic to tell him that people believe he’s been tearing up star posts (the gateways to the special zone). Sonic is as abrupt as ever, but does assure Tails that he’ll take care of it

The two critters who believe they saw Sonic earlier are these guys, called Stripes and Ruff. They’re literally a badger and a dog, but I assume a lot of the artists working on these comics in the days of Sonic 2 were just told that Sonic’s friends were all little animals and ran with that

The duo get captured by a couple of badniks to be used as their batteries. There’s honestly some untapped horror potential in the idea of badniks just roaming around looking for their animal batteries. I don’t think I’ve seen this concept used elsewhere in Sonic? But honestly, I’d love to see it revisited for a serious on-going threat, like something along the lines of IDW’s Zombot Arc, maybe. Also, I like that there’s a bulldog cerberus badnik. I know these aren’t game designs, but I think they’re neat

It isn’t just these guys getting used for batteries, either. When Sonic finds the badnik impersonator and attempts to destroy it, Tails tries to help him, but gets Sonic caught as well. We also get the first instance of “pixel brain” used in this scene, which was Sonic’s long-running nickname for Tails in StC

With Sonic out of action, Tails vows to help, even if he’s vastly out-numbered. This is when Robotnik himself shows up, citing that he wants revenge on Tails for last time they faced off and that the reason he’s been destroying star posts is because his new base is in the Special Zone and he doesn’t want any uninvited guests dropping in. Admittedly, I don’t remember from the top of my head if Robotnik having a base in the Special Zone becomes a big plot point, but I’m looking forward to seeing where they go with it

Robotnik’s plans are cut short this time, as Sonic reveals that the armour isn’t strong enough to brainwash him and demands Robotnik to let everyone go. This version of Sonic doesn’t pull any punches. I like that. I understand why they wouldn’t have Sonic be quite this ruthless, even to Robotnik, in the current media, but there’s something interesting about how little mercy he shows here

The comic ends on Robotnik getting away, but Sonic vows that he’ll be ready for whenever he comes back, while the newly-released animal friends chill out or repair the star post. I love that I could walk down the street in the UK right now and probably see about five angry little dogs that look exactly like that angry little dog here

This was another good story. I have to admit, when I skimmed the pages before reading it, I didn’t think I’d enjoy it as much as I did. Honestly, I was already mentally writing out the review that, while Sonic & Tails fighting badniks is a good formula, I’m ready to start seeing more of the familiar StC supporting cast come into play. But when I actually sat down to read the issue, I was pleasantly surprised by how interesting it was - the horror concept of badniks seeking out their own batteries, that plan completely failing on Sonic (perhaps this is the reason Robotnik didn’t come back to it?) and some of the StC lore about the Special Zone already starting to be formed, all kept me intrigued As I said at the start, I didn’t know it was Kitching’s first story when I was reading it and I’m glad that my enjoyment of it came independently of that knowledge, since it reaffirms my belief that Kitching’s work on the series is excellent. Knowing that he’s now at the helm, I look forward to seeing what will be coming next

[honeybadgercomeback]

I’m sorry Valtteri named his badger visitor Nigel and I love it

[thelastgherkin]

LEGO 21331 Sonic the Hedgehog – Green Hill Zone

Let’s speed, keed! This is a LEGO Ideas set that I’ve watched with some interest for a while now — and seeing as it was conceptualised by friend of the blog @rorzatherocketcycleracer, it’s only natural that I would give it some prrrromotion!

This is a set that has gone above and beyond in replicating the Sonic the Hedgehog experience, not only in its 16-bit accurate aesthetics but also in terms of its construction. Whereas Viv’s original concept used standard height bricks for the Green Hill chequerboard pattern, the finished model uses innumerable 1x1 plates stacked in twos to get the squares just right. The instructions are divided into six sections, and each numbered bag generally proceeds from left to right, starting the adventure off with Sonic and blast( process)ing through the stage to the showdown with the despicable Dr Robotnik and his Egg-O-Matic hovercraft. There’s a Chaos Emerald in every bag to add to the display stand, really making each stage of the instructions finish with a sense of accomplishment. I’ve photographed the set bit by bit as each bag was assembled to try and share the experience with you, but I recommend you get your hands on it yourself.

As any Transformers fan will tell you, when a digibash becomes real, there is great joy. I could not be more happy for nor proud of our Viv for everything she has accomplished here.

[askhugsworthy]

Also none of the spaghetti was pony shaped. 

[tinknevertalks]

Oh I definitely need some sleep if I'm trying to plan a Sanctuary version of Mama Mia. XD

(That's what I get for putting Honey, Honey on my phone! XD)

[the-one-man-tower-of-babel]

This is like Nigel and I on a quiet night in!

Cozy Badger Sticker from EstherBennink

[wisteria-lodge]

Sorting Our Flag Means Death: Part I (The Captains)

This is a fascinating show with a lot to say about identity, constructed identity, masculinity, fame, burnout... it was actually quite a challenge to sort. But I think I’ve got it, and I am very excited to share.

If you’re curious about the character analysis system, I go into a lot more depth here, and talk about the move away from the HP terminology here. But here are the basics: 

PRIMARY (your MOTIVE)

BADGER ~ Loyal to the group.

SNAKE ~ Loyal to yourself and your Important People.

LION ~ Subconscious Idealist. Ideals are linked to feelings and instincts.

BIRD ~ Conscious Idealist. Ideals are linked to built systems and external facts.

SECONDARY (your METHOD)

BADGER ~ Connect with the group. Make allies, work steadily and well. Be whatever the situation calls for. If you find a locked door, knock.

SNAKE ~ Connect with the environment. Notice things. Tell people what they want to hear. If you find a locked door, get in through the window.

BIRD ~ Collect skills, tools, knowledge, personas, useful friends. If you find a locked door, track down the key or learn to pick the lock.

LION ~ Be honest, be direct, speak your truth. Either the obstacle is going down or you are. If you find a locked door, kick it in.

STEDE BONNET

Stede is defined, early on, as someone controlled and bound by society. He doesn’t want to marry Mary? Doesn’t want to wear the mild-mannered class performance? Too bad. Stede is the little boy with his hands tied to the oars, unable to control where he’s going. It’s made him so desperate that he’s willing to blow up his entire life to become a pirate. At least pirates get to make their own decisions. 

Stede is a very loud example of a Lion primary. He needs to act on what he feels is right or else he feels trapped, unsafe and miserable. Through most of the season we see him respond to the feeling of being a pirate - the freedom, the romance, and even the slightly queer vibe. The moment where he doesn’t join Ed down at the docks is a perfect portrait of a Lion Primary in distress. Nothing that Chauncey Badminton is telling him makes logical sense… but it does make emotional sense, and that’s what Stede responds to. 

His major conflict is actually a war between his primary and his secondary. Stede knows what he wants to do. But his secondary is arranged in such a way that either he can’t do it, or can only do it incorrectly. The problem is not that he left Mary, the problem is that he did it the wrong way. (Hallucination!Mary doesn’t ask why he left, she asks why he left leaving only a letter.) The problem is not that he wants to be a pirate - the problem is that he’s not very good at being a pirate. 

So Stede’s secondary is a puzzle, because we are first introduced to his character in terms of incompetence. At the beginning, it’s clear that this guy is not used to solving problems and is almost pathologically conflict averse. (Basically, he’s Burnt.) He pretends to be asleep rather than talk to Mary, he can’t turn down Nigel Badminton when he invites himself to a tea party/tour. He’s spent his life in a sort of doormat Badger secondary performance, which we see him wear it in flashbacks, to the French party, around Calico Jack. He clearly hates it. But underneath? 

On the surface, running off in the middle of the night to become a pirate sounds really Lion secondary. But. A massive amount of prepwork did go into that decision. A lot of time and effort went into building an entirely custom ship using only the very best materials (“the finest cherry wood in Brazil.”) True, a lot of his design choices don’t make a lot of sense (because Stede doesn’t actually know how to be a pirate.) But what is clear is that this is a man who doesn’t cut corners. That’s one of his saving graces. He does nothing halfway. 

In the first episode, there are two reasons why his crew doesn’t mutiny. The first is that Stede puts a lot of effort into reading them bedtime stories. Lucius can try and do the voices, but he doesn’t care nearly as much, and doesn’t compare. The second is that Stede distracts them with a team-building craft project. That’s his leadership style: “talk it through as a crew” “If I can help this crew grow as people, then I will have succeeded in being a pirate captain” “I forgot the most important thing. That this is a company.” Stede's strength comes from the community he is able to build around him, and from his constant need to give 110%. Very Badger secondary.

A good example is the sword fight… which Stede really should have lost. But even though Izzy is the better swordsman, he’s going into that fight with his skill and nothing else. *Stede* is going in protected by his loyal crew (shouting advice, encouragement, obscure dueling rules) and by the Revenge herself, this ship that he put so much time and effort into. The mast snaps Izzy’s sword because it is made of the finest cherry wood in Brazil. Stede made sure it was.

Stede Bonnet builds rapport with pretty much every person he meets, including his hostage, and the tribe that captures him. That last one is particularly funny because we can see that under fire, his first instinct is to align himself with the group. He derisively says, “Oh those light-skins” (when of course he is in fact, light-skinned.) Stede gets the party ship to blow itself up by going to check on Frenchie and Olu, and using them to get dirt on the guests. He gets Izzy to back down by implying that he’s got a crew backing him up. Basically, he fights using the people around him. Over the course of the season, Stede’s crew becomes increasingly and increasingly loyal - to the point where it drives Chauncey Badminton into a murderous rage. He doesn’t get it. “Why are you so loyal to this… nothing?”

There’s also something interesting going on with the journal, where Stede records fictionalized versions of everything he does to make himself seem more piratey. Since Stede’s a Badger secondary, he doesn’t really act and he can’t really lie. He has to believe that he’s a pirate captain, or it’s not going to work. I read his diary project as almost a weird way of hacking his brain into believing that this is the sort of person he is. And then, the diary proves that he is a pirate to the English Navy. So it kind of works.

But what really works is the way Stede studies and practices. He takes notes, takes lessons, and asks for advice. At the end of the season, he is finally at a place where he can be a functional pirate, and his primary and his secondary start operating as a whole. Now he can leave Mary, but this time do it properly. He can elaborately fake his own death, using the plan Ed came up with. He can take to sea in a dinghy, pick up his crew (the source of his power) and then… go fix things.

EDWARD “BLACKBEARD” TEACH 

Instead of a Badger gathering community, Edward Teach is a Bird secondary gathering tools. “History’s greatest tactician” likes to have all the relevant bits of knowledge at his fingertips, then use them to correctly predict weather conditions, drop legal knowledge, and do recon on Stede. He likes inventions and gadgets (a dry ice suspension rig, a lighthouse made using a mirror.) He likes planning - or as he puts it “a good fuckery takes ages to develop.” Occasionally he will say things like “the plan is to go with the flow, see what happens” … but only when he’s adrift. The second he’s feeling better about life, his tune changes to to “there’s always an escape (...) in two hours, that guy over there is going to take you to the docks.” 

He is absolutely the sort of Actor Bird secondary who creates specific personas for different situations. Edward, Blackie, Jeff the Accountant and the Kraken are all different presentations he’s able to take on and off. But the jewel of his collection is of course Blackbeard. Ed has clearly done a lot of work building and curating this character, and now his reputation does the work for him. Of course, the tradeoff is that now there are a number of things Ed might like to do (treasure hunting, Stede) which don’t fit with Blackbeard’s character. A lot of Ed’s angst comes from this limitation, and his related worry that he only has value as the mythical Blackbeard, not vulnerable and human Ed. That’s a Bird secondary worry: their constructed persona is not “them,” or at very least not completely them, so it’s unpleasant when others (like Izzy) see it as the ‘better version.’

So anyway, Ed’s a Bird secondary. When he is on his own ship, under his own flag, his plans can look like improvisational Snake madness, but it’s pure Rapid-Fire Bird. He gets stressed the second he moves away from his base of operations: he’s twitchy on Saint Augustine, and nervous when he goes to the party ship. After all, he’s trying out his High Society persona for the first time. And since this is his first time in a very new arena, Jeff works until he doesn’t. After Jeff says that he *would* summer in Paris (incorrect!) and doesn’t pick up on the passive aggression, Ed slides right back into his old staple (“I will kill every last one of you.”) Even though Blackbeard is absolutely not the appropriate face for this situation. 

The question of why Ed does things, what motivates him, is tricky. Because when we first meet him the answer is… not much. He’s in a funk. He doesn’t care about being Blackbeard, he doesn’t care about his crew. Izzy tries to get under his skin by saying “I attacked that ship, losing several of our men by the way,” to which Ed responds “kind of the job, they’re pirates.” He is fascinated by Stede’s madness and passion, and the world Stede lives in. So - maybe a Burnt Snake with no people? But I just don’t see that distinctive, slightly cold Burnt Snake hedonism. Also, that hypothesis also does not explain Calico Jack. 

Because the weird thing is, if you look at just his actions… Ed is most loyal to Calico Jack. He lets Izzy leave. He lets Stede leave (that’s a slightly uncharitable reading of the ending, but come on, it’s super likely that Stede just got in trouble on the way down to the docks.) The only one Ed actually follows is Jack, even when Stede wants him to stay. So why does he follow Jack?

The key to Ed is that he sees the world as a game, a game with rules. “How does one win this encounter” he asks before he goes into a new situation. He can’t interfere in the duel to protect Stede because that’s not how duels work, and we actually hear a lot of the rules he’s put in place for himself - ‘the Captain goes down with the ship’ ‘Pets befoul the ship and make one weak,’ ‘Control your enemy’s fear and then you own them,’ ‘I always outsource the big job,’ ‘Blackbeard doesn’t feel fear,’ ‘Jeff would never back down from a challenge.’ These are bits of Ed’s self-constructed code. He’s a Bird primary, and his set of rules is his system. 

Unfortunately, most of his rules-to-live-by were designed for Blackbeard, a simplistic character he plays. Ed has a list of piratey bullet points, but needs a more complex system that can incorporate more experiences. Stede Bonnet’s very different outlook on life helps with that, and Ed starts incorporating his ideas about creativity, aesthetics, community, “fine things,” and “the high life” into a new worldview. He falls in love with Stede’s existence, which is why he very literally wants to kill Stede and take over his existence. It becomes more about Stede the fascinating individual, but it didn’t start that way. Ed is using the new data Stede gave him to write new rules, and when Stede abandons him at the docks, that process stops. 

But. Ed is still able to absorb enough to turn himself into a simplified version of Stede, and build something based on softness, sad poetry, and talent shows. And as a coping mechanism it seems to be working? Ed is picking up his trash, on the path of creating a more fulfilling and emotionally honest existance for himself. But Izzy shuts him down. He shows Ed a picture of Blackbeard and pokes holes in the new system, calling it weak. Edward Version 2.0 is not stable enough to survive that. So he reverts back to an even harsher, more constricting version of Blackbeard. 

“The Kraken” is a monster built of desperation and fear. He’s deliberately inhuman, just an illustration in face paint. In a subtle costuming detail, Ed stops wearing fingerless glovelettes that allow him to touch the world, and starts wearing just full gloves. He is cut off from his ability to take in information, grow, and change. His Bird primary explodes.

For an example of what I mean when I say that Ed’s first law is his consciously-constructed code, take the scene where Izzy is trying to convince him to kill Stede. Emotionally, Ed does not want to do this. If he had been a Lion or a Snake, that’s where the conversation would have ended. But, Izzy recites one of Ed’s rules back to him. (“Pets make one weak.”) He knows Ed follows his rules, not his emotions, and so that’s what he uses to convince him. Calico Jack does a similar thing, constantly repeating “I saved your life.” This seems to be a value/rule Jack knows he can exploit. When he’s ordered off the ship Jack once again says, “I saved your life, Blackie,” and Ed has no choice but to go with him. That whole episode is about Jack getting Ed to revert to an older, less developed version of himself, so it makes sense that he’d go back to using his older, black-and-white system instead of the more nuanced one he’s building with Stede.

There’s also a kind of Bird primary energy in the way Ed doesn’t kill people - technically. Maiming doesn’t count. Burning a ship doesn’t count (because  the flames killed them.) Those are arguments Ed makes to save his own conscience, because secretly he fears that he’s a “bad person”... or not even a person at all. Very Idealist primary angst. (Or Burnt Primary angst. But for most of the season, Ed’s primary isn’t actually burnt. It’s just... in flux.)

PART II (THE CREW) IS RIGHT HERE

tl;dr

Stede Bonnet - Lion primary / Burnt Badger secondary which unBurns, Badger secondary performance that he hates. 

Edward “Blackbeard” Teach - Bird primary that is in the process of expanding to support a larger range of experience, but Explodes at the end of the season / Bird secondary (Rapid Fire when he’s on his ship, Actor when he’s using the Blackbeard persona) 

[minyboy]

Time to go the final fast in this last collage of Sonic the Hedgehog. Now that does not mean I'm done making new illustrations like this, it's just that the collage has gotten far too big. I have 198 faces here, I think it's complete. So thank you all very much for the support and suggestions, it has helped out greatly. See you all around.

list of all the characters, starting from the top left corner, going left to right Row 1: Rosy the Rascal, Iron Queen, Longclaw, Earthia, Rosie the Woodchuck, Santa Claus, Sonia Acorn, Ari the Ram, Chocola, Fockewulf the Wolf, Black Narcissus, Mina Mongoose, The Enchantress, Bernadette the Hedgehog, Iblis, Remington, Sara Row 2: Jason, Pale Bayleaf, Coral the Betta, Ifrit, Master Zik, Tumble, Tiara Boobowski, Zazz, Whisper the Wolf, Eggrobo, Lupe the Wolf, Bean the Dynamite, Agent Stone, Tails Doll, Commander, Black Death, Dark Enerjak Row 3: Mecha Sonic, Galaxina, Tom Wachowski, Mammoth Mogul, Breezie the Hedgehog, Old Owl Man, Professor Gerald Robotnik, Void, Julie-Su, D-Fektx, Dr. Eggman Nega, Nicole the Holo-Lynx, Uncle Chuck, Merlina the Wizard, Mimic, Yellow Zelkova, Princess Undina Row 4: Sealia the Seal, Omochao, Nigel Acorn, Lyric, Shade the Echidna, Cream the Rabbit, Vector the Crocodile, Emerl, Coconuts, Chip, King Arthur, chaos, E-123 Omega, Shard the Metal Sonic, Froggy, Kragok, Nicolette the Weasel Row 5: Tommy Turtle, Manik Acorn, Ixis Naugus, Lumina Flowlight, Captain Whisker, Espio the Chameleon, Mighty the Armadillo, Sonic The Hedgehog, Tails, Dr. Eggman, Silver The Hedgehog, Big the Cat, Imperator Ix, Marine the Raccoon, Helen, Dremagen, Pearly the Manta Ray Row 6: Saffron Bee, Carrotia the Rabbit, Decoe, Storm the Albatross, Tikal, Black Doom, Sally Acorn, Metal Sonic, Manic the Hedgehog, Orbot, Zooey, Captain Metal, G-merl, Monica Row 7: Razor the Shark, Blackbot the Pirate, Charlie, Professor Pickle, Bunnie Rabbot, Yacker, Blaze the Cat, Rouge the Bat, Snively, Eclipse the Darkling, Dingo, Mark the Tapir, Bearenger the Bear, Lindsey Row 8: Birdie, Red Pine, SCR-HD, Cosmo, Sticks the Badger, Cheese the Chao, Charmy Bee, Knuckles the Echidna, Shadow the Hedgehog, Amy Rose, Jet The hawk, Infinite, Zavok, Fleetway (Iblis), Bocoe, Jewel the Beetle, Aquarius Row 9: Topaz, Iron King, Robotnik Jr., Maria Robotnik, Cubot, Antoine D'Coolette, Scourge the Hedgehog, Ray the Flying Squirrel, Rotor the Walrus, Scratch, Sonia the Hedgehog, Grounder, Fang the Sniper, Honey The Cat, Bokkun, Grand Chief Whip, Davy Sprocket Row 10: Crusher the Chao, Kingape, Dodon Pa, Dr. Starline, Mephiles the Dark, Queen Aleena, Heavy the Robot, Lien-Da, Wave the Swallow, Dark Gaia, Fiona the Fox, Sleet, Bomb, Vanilla Rabbit, Shahra, Nominatus, Melody Prower Row 11: Perci the Bandicoot, Chuck Thorndyke, Professor Von Schlemmer, Zomom, Erazor Djinn, Metal Knuckles, Chris, Belle the Tinkerer, Bark the Polar Bear, Zor, Rough, Tangle the Lemur, Zeena, Wendy Witchcart, Great Battle Kukku, Heavy King, Doctor Quack Row 12: Sage, Surge the Tenrec, The President, Lara-Su, Jules Hedgehog, Dulcy the Dragon, Momma Robotnik, Grimer Wormtongue, Dark OaK, Dave the Intern, Time Eater, Ben Muttski, Sir Connery, Pachacamac, Feist, Lord Hood, Frances

[stackcats]

OFMD characters as animals:

Blackbeard: cat, obviously. an alley cat but a pure breed, probably a siamese.

Stede: labrador with a fancy diamond-studded collar who's never been more than 3 blocks from his upperclass neighbourhood before deciding to become A Stray.

Izzy: also a cat but a tabby with a stub tail and half an ear missing.

Lucius: lop-eared bunny that escaped from a garden and once bit a child.

Black Pete: pitbull that thinks it's menacing you but its tail is wagging and you aren't fooled.

Jim: fox wearing a hat and jacket but it's just a regular fox, not an anthropomorphic one.

Olu: badger, european.

Roach: badger, american.

Frenchie: pigeon.

Wee John: shire horse.

Spanish Jackie: wolf with a wooden paw.

Fang: rhino.

Mary: corgi.

Nigel Badminton: mastiff wearing a navy hat.

I very much am accepting feedback.

[spongicx]

I made some new Face Swap images. Good lord, I turned Sticks into Nigel Thornberry, LOL! “Smashing!”

[thekatebridgerton]

Anthony coming home with Nigel to find his house packed with suitors for Daphne:

He was definitely not amused.

You know the only thing that I felt was way too out of character for Anthony that even I can't justify it. was not picking someone for Daphne arbitrarily, it was picking Nigel without doing a background check. Because we know there's no version of Anthony Bridgerton that would ever let a creep like that get within a mile of his sisters. Let alone introduce them himself. And that's OC even for Anthony.

But him wanting his house emptied out so he can be in his office alone and in peace without the badgering of his sisters suitors? that is exactly on point.