#nico why are you so fucking funny while trying to be nice

[inkstardustly]

"I like myself just enough to not actually want to die"

"Oh. That's great news, honestly-"

Nico you lovely son of a bitch

[pedriscroquettes]

𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄? ✮ F. LÓPEZ

summary. fermín wants to celebrate his new trophy with you.

warnings. 18+ mean! fermín. smut.

gabri speaks! paz!reader universe is back due to popular demand.

the view of the apartment the guys rented for the party was breathtaking. madrid was a beautiful city, you were glad your brother had convinced your parents to move in with him. although right now you were alone in madrid surrounded by a bunch of players you didn’t know. a bunch of players your brother hated. in the midst of drunk players and their friends you kept tugging your short red dress every five minutes. you were beginning to regret even coming, you were only here because of a certain blonde. a blonde you had yet to see.

“didn’t bring nico?” you’re startled by a familiar voice.

“why? you have a crush on my brother?” you ask him surprised at the sudden interest fermín had for your brother.

“no but it would’ve been nice to show him what a trophy looks like.” you can barely see him through the dim lights but you know he’s smirking. you can hear it in his voice.

“if i’m not wrong you barely had minutes. i’m not too sure you have any bragging rights.” you test him.

“and somehow i played more minutes than your brother has his whole career.” his tone changes. “watch your mouth. you look prettier like that.”

you’re taken aback by his change in demeanor quite frankly you weren’t sure you’d ever seen him this riled up. he’s rough and threatening, his good boy facade long gone. you’re amused by the way he’s acting wondering if he’s trying to get you to sleep with him again. you place your hand on his jaw while the other goes into his hair, tempting him.

“it’s such a shame that you could be celebrating your win but instead you’re bitching about my brother like a sad little envious child.” you say sharply not taking insults to your brother lightly.

the smirk that once adorned his face was now gone and you could tell he was mad at you now. he grips your hands away from him with such a tight hold you’ll know they’ll be bruised tomorrow. his eyes pierce into yours with a threatening look and you realize you’ve successfully riled him up.

“okay, that’s it.” he murmurs.

one minute you’re looking at fermín dead in the eye and the next you feel his hands grip your waist. his hold is so strong on you that he manages to carry you over his shoulder with ease. you’re not that surprised at how easily he’s picked you up, you’ve noticed how bulkier he got over the past year. when the guy you’ve been fucking on the low gets hotter you notice.

“fermín! put me down!” you shriek.

the blonde just finds it funny laughing at your vulnerability. your screams manage to get the attention of his teammates and their guests. the least you could say is that he was embarrassing you in front of everyone and you hoped that none of the real madrid players were here. the last thing you needed was to get embarrassed and scolded by your brother. the faces of the guest slowly fade away as fermín drags you to what you can assume is his room. he gently drops you on the bed before laying down next to you.

“you’re such an asshole.” you whine as you fix your dress. it’s then that you realize that some of the guests had probably seen your dress skirt up, your face heats up instantly at that.

you don’t get to bicker at him for much longer because he pulls you on top of him. his hands instantly go towards your hips — a muscle memory for him by now — and holds you. you can already feel him grow hard against you and you get excited. the two of you had just argued and now here he was with a hard on. he thrusts up against you causing a whine to slip past your lips at the sensation.

“such a shame that you could use your mouth for beautiful noises like this instead of arguing.” he murmurs under his breathe trying to contain his groans.

it’s your turn to grind against him causing his breath to falter. he places himself against the crook of your neck as you continue your movements, leaving wet kisses along your throat. you move your hands into the light curls of his hair as you feel yourself growing wetter.

“instead of trying to compete against my brother every five seconds you could be fucking me but you don’t see me complaining.��� and there you go always trying to have the last word.

“shut the fuck up and spread your legs.” he groans.

you hesitate but you obey nevertheless. his hand trails down your figure until he places it firmly on your thigh, teasing you. he knows you need him and the idea of making you frustrated is amusing to him. you can’t stand it anymore — his touch being so close yet so far — you yearn him. it’s almost pathetic except for the fact that you know he feels the same way. he’s the one who wanted you first and he always ends up satisfying you even if he’s mad.

his fingers slowly tread up your leg and you grow frustrated at the edging. you can’t stand it anymore so you drag his fingers to where you need him the most causing a teasing laugh to leave his lips. you know he’ll give you shit about this later but you don’t care, you need him. he also seems to think the same as he doesn’t waste time spreading your wetness along your folds. your hips instinctively grind into his hand as his fingers start circling your clit causing waves of pleasure throughout your body.

“oh, fuck.” you whine as he brings a couple of his fingers towards your hole.

“say you want my fingers.” he looks at you with a defying grin. “say it or else i’ll leave you here all alone.”

“fuck fermín please.” you gasp as one of his fingers enters you slowly. “i need your fingers, please”

he leaves a quick kiss on your jaw before inserting you with his second finger. your body collapses against his chest as he fucks you slowly. the intrusion is sudden and your hands grip the sheets below you as he fills you up. the feeling is intense and you feel feral at the way you moan without holding back. the thing about fermín was that while he was asshole at least he fucked, hard. his free hand grabs you by the throat forcing you to look at him as you ride his hand.

he looks at you in awe admiring the way your eyes get glossy as you fuck yourself on his fingers. he analyzes the way your hair bounces with every movement of your hips and how your eyes close and your nose scrunches a bit before reaching your peak. he adds a third finger hoping to help you reach your high. you’re full on whining in his ear now as he fills you up completely. the sensation of your walls clinging to his fingers so tightly also allow him a sense of satisfaction.

“fermín. please.” you weren’t even sure what you were begging for. you only knew that you were close.

“you’re so close.” he whispers as he pulls you in for a kiss. the kiss is sloppy but soft. a mixture of lost and love. it scares you, nevertheless you come around his fingers gasping as you wet his fingers.

“fuck, that was hot. you’re hot.” fermín rambles as he helps you come down from your orgasm.

as you adjust your dress and fix your hair fermín watches you intensely. he’s tired of only seeing you like this and never normally. he hadn’t slept with anyone else since you came into his life and you were making him crazy. the feeling of knowing fran was so close of having you too was too much for him and he wasn’t sure why felt so possessive about you.

was it just lust or was it love?

[ladylooch]

Thinking about our boy Woody and the story he published 🫥 what if he dated a girl from New Jersey who cheers for Devils and “refusas” to cheer for Avalanche, even when he is playing for the team? I thought of something funny, because I feel that Woody is the implicating type, but he can follow the path you prefer

Ahh! I was hoping someone would request Woody!! Thank you 😘

When the Devils and Avs first face off against each other, it’s in Denver in November. You showed up at the game, strutting your stuff in your Devils 44 jersey. You got a few looks from the Avs WAGS, but you smoothed it over by telling them it was all in good fun between you and Miles. They bought it for the most part.

After the game, you made sure to greet Nico and Jack and Dawson with big hugs while Miles watched. He said nothing, just rolled his eyes at your antics. He loves you. But he knows that even though you’re messing around, the trade has been hard for you. Leaving home so fast and suddenly, without a chance to say goodbye to everyone was tough.

Which is exactly why you choose to fly back to New Jersey for Miles’ return to the Prudential Center. 

“You gonna cry tonight?” He had asked you during your FaceTime call earlier in the afternoon. You stuck your tongue out at him. 

“Maybe. And nice try attempting to hide my jersey so I couldn’t pack it.” Before he left, he had stuffed it under his side of the bed. He intentionally left a little bit of the sleeve sticking out so you would catch on to his prank. You’re teasing him about it now, but he sighs a bit heavy at the end of his laugh. Your smile drops into a neutral expression. “Does it bother you?” He shakes his head no.

“I know you’re still my biggest fan. One day you’ll like the team I play for too.” He licks his lip, wincing at the cut he got last game. His bottom lip is fat and angry.

“Don’t go fighting anyone tonight.” You point a finger at him.

“You know I’m hitting Jack hard at least once. He’ll know why too.”

“For the last time, he did not mean to touch my ass that night. It really was an accident.”

“How does a graze, turn into bent fingers?” Miles holds his hands up like he is cupping air. “No. One hit. Then we'll be even.” There is no point in arguing with him. Best of luck to Jack.

Miles purchased tickets for all your friends and family. Some of his family came down from Massachusetts as well. The group is dressed in a blend of Avs and Devils apparel as you go down to ice level to watch him warm up. You’re wearing your Devils jersey, waiting for him to see you. He skates a few laps, looking as chaotic and amped as you’ve ever seen him. When he goes to lean against the bench for some water, he looks for you. His sexy grin melts you when it spreads at the sight of you. He’s so happy, but he shakes his head at your Devils jersey. You reach for the hem, pulling it off to reveal the Avalanche jersey you packed without him knowing. He startles then visibly softens. You walk to the bench so you can chat with him next to the rail, weaving your way by several “welcome back Woody” signs. 

“Baby. You look so good.” He compliments you, puckering his lips between the posts. You kiss him, ignoring the metal pressing into your cheeks. 

“Only you could make me give up the Devils red.”

“So we are going to pretend you don’t have a Hischier shirt on under there?” He traces the outline of the horns above your breast bleeding through the white jersey.

“Yeah.”

“Fine with me.” He chuckles, kissing you one more time.

“Good luck, babe. Skate your ass off.” You murmur to him, taking a chance to stroke a brown curl off his forehead.

“Fuck yeah, baby! Let’s go!” He shouts, then darts back onto the ice, leaving behind an electric giggle in his wake.

[joseopher]

HELLO, LADIES, WORMS, HOMOSEXUALS

As we know I check the novacaine tags daily.

AND THE ATLAS SIX VACATION SERIES HAS BEEN UPDATED!

I LITERALLY SCREAMED

when the dust has set!!!!!!!!!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ THIS FIC:

Nico continues to wish he drowned instead of witnessing novacaine

LOVE CONFESSIONS

Sibling dynamics

Found family dynamics

Friendship dynamics

Sleepovers!!!

THE BEST ENDING EVER

Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers!

"They had gone upstairs together earlier today, probably to fuck. When they finally were downstairs again, Tristan had talked to him like nothing happened. Like the relationship between them was completely normal. Eventually, the two of them disappeared again, probably to fuck. Again."

Nico is so done. He is so done. He will commit murder if he has to deal with novacaine again.

"He didn’t want to think about them having sex, although it felt like that was all they ever did."

I mean...he's not wrong.

Then Nico sees Callum smile and is like what the actual fuck. He just stares at Tristan like "explain yourself". And Tristan is just like "la la la".

Nico is suffering.

"Wanted them to be the type of friends that could share those things. "

Awww Nico wants to be friends with Tristan <3

“It’s just that we were just there not too long ago. Before we went to my room. I just thought that Tristan doesn’t even go to his room that often. Only to sleep. Or with me,” 

“And you wanted to rub that in our face again because….?” 

HAHA Callum being jealous and petty and Nico just wanting to murder him.

Nico @ Callum constantly: You are a bitch.

"'Well, I don’t know. Why on earth would anyone want him dead?' Nico nodded toward Callum.

Callum put his hand on his heart and cooed at him. 

'That’s exactly what I’ve been wondering for years now, Varona,' he said. Nico flipped him off. Tristan rubbed a hand over his face with a sigh."

I love these people so much. Callum is sooo petty and Nico is just pissed off and Tristan is like "I can't believe these are the people I want to hang out with".

"'So someone tried to blow me up. That’s nice.'

'Tried to blow you and Callum up,' Reina corrected. 

'That I can understand,' Nico said. This time Tristan flipped him off. 

Nico is #1 novacaine anti

"Nico had always suspected that was just a sex thing. Maybe Callum had just such a big dick that Tristan couldn’t resist. It simply couldn’t be because of his personality, because it was shit."

Correction Nico is just a Callum anti.

(Parisa listening to Nico's thoughts as he tries to understand novacaine is so funny.)

"'As long as we have pillow fights,' Callum added. Parisa snorted. 

'Prepare to die again old man,' she threatened."

The friendship dynamics in this fix>>>>>

“If you even try to kiss each other below the belt while we’re in the same room I will cut off both of your dicks,”

LOLOLOL YESS GO OFF NICO!!

"Libby sighed. Callum sat down next to Tristan. He let himself fall back, held up by his elbows, and pushed his feet on Tristan’s lap. Tristan just let him. It was disgusting. "

Nico has "novacaine supporters" in his DNI on twitter.com

“We’re in love, for starters.” 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Maybe he quite liked the rest of them too. Some more than others, but there was fondness in him somewhere."

AW NICO IS MAKING FRIENDS <3 <3 <3

“Are you in love with him?”

“Yes,”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"so

i did dreamfuck you?"

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"'Got it after a few hours on the first day. Same handwriting as the invite. Suppose it was from Atlas. He’s been planning to kill me since then, I guess. Think he was hoping for you all to do it but no one did. Stayed here to spite him.'

'And to sleep with his favorite the whole time. To rub it in,' Parisa added. Callum smirked.

'Perhaps.'" 

Aww Atlas's plan was that them being stuck here 'on vacation' would make them try to kill Callum again. But they didn't and instead made friends <3 <3 <3

Also, Callum got laaaaaid.

Bet you didn't expect that Atlas!

OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS WAS AN AMAZING ENDING. PHENOMENAL! PERFECTION! I LOVED IT!

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!

SO HAPPY!

I LOVE THIS AUTHOR'S WRITING SO MUCH!

GO READ THE ATLAS SIX VACATION SERIES OR I KILL YOU!

[sailorsenshishitposter]

The standard beach episode

Slightly NSFW

It's 9:00 AM which is too early for Dante to be up right now. He's hungover yet again and notices his door being slammed wide open. It was Nero. Figures. "Whaddya want kiddo? Can't you see I'm trying to get some beauty sleep?"

Nero was yelling something about how he's had this trip planned for months and how Dante wasn't going to ruin it. His nephew then took a toothbrush and attached it to his arm. Dante's teeth were soon cleaner than a Colgate commercial. He then grabbed some clothes and threw them into a suitcase. "God you stink! At least where we're going you can wash off." Before Dante could protest and ask what the hell Nero was talking about, he was flung into the Devil May Cry van.

"Everybody's here then?" said Nico. Nero gave her a thumbs up and she then put the vehicle in motion, leaving burnt tire tracks all over the road. Nico made Mrs. Frizzle look like a Sunday driver.  Dante was still waking up and took notice of everyone on board. There was Nico and Nero, that was a given but he then happened to notice Trish, Lady and Vergil. He tried to sleep but it was like being in bed but if that bed was actually a bumper car.

Dante then tried to think of something calming. He then conjured an image of a pizza in his brain. It had just been taken out of the oven, the steam wafting through the air. The crust was just right and the cheese was gooey when he cut into it. He let out a moan. He then was just about to take a bite when he woke up from his vision and screamed in pain. Why did everything sting? He looked at Lady and noticed a spray bottle (likely filled with holy water).

"LADY, WHAT THE HELL, I'M NOT A CAT!" he screamed. "You're right. I'd say you're actually more like a dog. You both hump everything in sight." Dante looked down a noticed he had an errection. "Whoops, sorry about that..."  He needed to save his pizza fetish thoughts for when he was alone. Next thing he knew, Nico shouted "We're here y'all!"

Dante stepped outside and noticed they were at a beach. "This is nice kid. Only one problem. I didn't bring any swim trunks." Nero then held up the suitcase and threw it towards his uncle. "I brought some just in case you forgot. Now go get changed. You can bathe in the water." He let out a laugh. "Aw. I was hoping to go skinny dipping!" Vergil crinkled his nose in disgust.

There were a small set of bathrooms that everyone got changed in. They were now just waiting for Dante. Everyone had standard attire except for Vergil. He was wearing a blue snorkeling suit? Lady tried to ask him about it but he started going on about something called Metal Gear Solid 2 and she went back to hangout with Trish because she's not a nerd.

The door opened and everyone's eyes popped wide open, Nico screaming "MY EYES!" while Vergil nearly vomited. "WHAT THE FUCK DANTE!" shouted Nero. It turns out that his uncle had taken one of the red swim trunks out of the case and had fashioned it so he now wore a mankini, borat style. He started doing strange gestures while saying "I like you, do you like me?" in a funny voice. "Can anyone translate?" asked Trish. "Do not attempt to understand my brother, it will only bring you down to his level." said Vergil.

"Anyone up for beach ball?" Dante and Vergil wound up on a team despite Vergil's refusal to do so, leaving them against Nero and Trish. This left Lady as referee and Nico being the cheerleader. Neros team was in the lead due to the twins not being able to work well together. Vergil would attempt to show off while Dante would fight his brother for the chance to hit the ball, leading to more arguments than play time.

Each time Vergil went for the ball Dante would glide in front of him while sticking his chest out. This time he caught the ball in his pectorals. His brother yelled something about how this wasn't a dead or alive game and then quit the match, automatically causing their team to forfeit. He then went to go read his book of poems. "GAME OVER!" shouted Lady.

The rest of the group disbanded. Lady was shooting mosquitos with her pressurised water gun and Trish was surfboarding. Nico had a metal detector and was searching for junk hidden in the sand. Nero tried to talk her out of it but she said "one man's trash is another's treasure." As long as she wasn't causing mayhem he didn't care. That just left him and his uncle.

"Having a good time?" Nero asked. Dante sighed. "Yeah. It reminds me of the time mom took us to the beach and we made sandcastles. Vergil's was better so I kicked it down. He tried to get back at me by blowing sand in my eyes so then I put wet clumps of sand down the back of his shorts. Mom was furious." Nero thought to himself sarcastically "I can't imagine why."

He then took out an icebox. "I brought some ice cream if you guys want any. It was handmade by Kyrie so you better not say anything bad about- WAIT! WHERE DID IT GO!? THERE WAS A FULL THING OF ICE CREAM IN HERE!" Nero was looking around frantically. He then noticed his uncle tip toeing away. Nero went into Devil Trigger mode. "DANTEEEEE! WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

Knowing the jig was up, Dante turned around sheepishly. He had blue bits of ice cream decorating his face while his cheeks were fatter than a squirrel storing nuts in its mouth. "DANTE! THAT WAS THE SPECIAL SEA SALT ICE CREAM THAT KYRIE MADE!" His uncle swallowed with a nervous look. "If it makes you feel any better, it was really good!" Nero then lunged at his uncle and screamed "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AND THEN SOME!"

This was loud enough for Vergil to notice and put down his book. "I expect nothing less of my kin. Go son. Make your father proud!" Nico turned to Lady and Trish. "Is there anything in particular that we're supposed to do?" Lady shook her head. "It's best if they get tired from fighting it out. That's usually what we let them do." Nico then asked "What about Mr. Vergil?" Trish snorted. "If anything he's enjoying this fight and won't stop it anytime soon."

Several hours later and uncle and nephew were on their knees, trying their best to punch each other. "NEROOOOOOOO!" "DANTEEEEEEEEE!" Trish then walked over and said "You guys done yet?" Nero said "Just a second." and then punched his uncle so hard that he fell on his back. With his last remaining breaths, Dante said "You're pretty good..." and the passed out.

The sun was setting so the gang dragged Dante and returned to the van. They dropped him off at his business. Literally. Nero shoved his uncles unconscious body out of the van and left it on the Devil May Cry doorstep. They drove off and Dante woke up the next afternoon covered in filth with a pounding headache. "Must have been some crazy kinda party! Well I'm hungry for pizza in more ways than one so let's get busy!"

[cantfightmoonlight]

"Yeah, that I'm never going to get to be honest," She admitted with a small shrug. "Not that I can't appreciate your whole pack solidarity mentality or anything. I can and do. I think groups like the pack can offer a lot, but I also think the bond of certain species doesn't really change all that much to be honest? I mean witches are bonded too. But, at the end of the day, witch or not, wolf or not, we're all people. Some will like each other and go out of their way to scour every inch of the woods for someone else's behalf and others' won't. I don't think a pack or a witch bond really changes whether they'll inherently get along or chose not to leave each other behind, but what do I know," She gave him a small shrug as they continued to walk in strides.

"Funny," The corner of her lips tilted up ever so slightly in amusement as she watched his nostrils flare in annoyance. "So, let them. Last I checked, tinfoil hats aren't hurting anybody and if it makes them feel safer, then why not?" She pointed softly out. "It's okay, you know? To not be okay and to not try so hard to be the glue that holds everything together? I, uh, I get it though and I know you're the advisor so it's different. But, I, um," She tilted her back. Her eyes squinting as she let the rays of the sun kiss her cheeks rather than meet the other's gaze. "I never really let myself feel like I was completely apart something? Of a family? I think growing up knowing that someone you loved was going to die if you dared to get close to anyone, made it easy to shut yourself off. But, um, then the Delaney-Lopez's came in the picture and then Nico and the Reeds and I started to think maybe having a family wouldn't be so bad. That's the pack for you right? Your family? And so you invest everything into it and try to keep everyone together, only to realize that while you've been bending yourself over backwards, they don't even see the point in hanging out. So... I don't know. Family seems kinda bullshit these days, I guess. Just love the people you love, regardless of who they are and if they don't care about each other and would rather vote their friends siblings to live or where tinfoil hats, so be it. It's their lives and we can all do whatever the fuck we want, I guess..." She trailed off. Her shoulders lifting and slumping into a defeated shrug, knowing full well that she had probably disclosed more than she typically would like, but then again, if anyone knew how she was feeling at the present, she imagined it was probably JC.

"It could. Well, any word in the dictionary that starts with M," She gave him a small nod. "I know. I just meant that it's nice knowing for sure." At least for right now, because while she knew better than to say it out loud, they both knew fairly well that whatever who ever took them wanted to get out of taking them likely had an expiration date and, sooner or later, Meena and Dhruv might not be anymore use to them. "It could, though judging from how he was at the Pendulum, before well, you know, I'd take it if he came back from the dead, there wouldn't have been any taking. Just revenge," She pointed quietly out, though it was just as much of a theory as anything else. "Okay, so we make a list and divide and conquer, right? Though hey," She hesitantly reached out to rest her hand upon his shoulder. "We're going to do everything we can to find them, okay? You're not alone and, honestly, if it makes you feel any better, you're handling all of this a lot better than I would. Not to give you more witch ammo, but if it was Nico, I'd probably would have tried to tear the whole town down by now searching for him and then you'd all would have had to sedate me. Though oh yeah? Why's that? Or is that one of those whole confidential wolf things?"

"You'd think, but there was a lot of politics that went into the whole thing. Every journalist at the Times wanted to be on the Catalyst story and I guess I also didn't exactly agree with how things were being run? A lot of the people involved wouldn't be notified about a story that was about to be dropped until after the fact. I mean they did it to me even with, um, Silas, right after I chose to take a more freelance position so I could pursue other interests on top of writing.So, anyways, I guess, I'd rather be more my boss then have to placate to people who don't seem to give a damn about me," She shrugged once more. "It would, especially without a ring. Though, yeah, you may be right. You know her better than I do. I guess maybe I'm just pessimistic, but even if I know I wouldn't skip town without a word, it's sometimes hard to know if other people would see the best in you, especially if you're not sure you fully have given them reason to."

"Probably not, but she could have had a contingency plan? I don't know and I know you are. Just in a better way than a lot of us would which is something to be admire, JC. You're a good guy, even if you don't always let other people see it and mhm, yup. After you?"

JC rolled his shoulders in a distant shrug. "We're a bonded species looking for one of our own. It's expected. Wolves don't leave wolves behind." He too had been out and about with the Alpha, and Júlio César had the sense Jasmine had been referring to Nico specifically. Still, pushing onward, he gave a shake of his head. "No, I guess it doesn't. Between you and me, though...there's details, and then there's conspiracies. Some of the pack have gotten friendly with that one human with the bleached hair. And now? I've got them using all the communal tinfoil to make hats for keeping out the Martians. I don't know." His nostrils flared. Part of him knew certain wolves did things just to grate on him, but in truth, his already waning sense of humor was being stretched now to its very limits. So very few things were funny anymore. It was not that he did not want to have a good time, but piercing the helplessness clinging to him like a cloak was feeling more and more unlikely.

Watching her, JC gave an uneasy sigh. "An 'M' sound. Which could be any word in the entire dictionary, mind you." His nostrils flared momentarily. "And of course she's still alive." He had to say this, if only to avoid speaking the converse into existence. "Why even bother taking them someplace if the goal was just to kill them outright? That'd be stupid and reckless." He grit his teeth. "Why not Theo? Wasn't in the Catalyst's posse. People come back from the dead around here all the time." JC did not seriously believe this suggestion, but he allowed frustration to compel him. He shook his head. "I don't know. I think I'd try to tell people where I was. But an 'M?' That's so...vague. Motel. Movie theater. Mortuary. Hell, the morgue at the hospital." He knit his brow, pressing a finger to his temple. "That would be the right place to get surgical supplies, wouldn't it? For our phantom Frankenstein?" He sniffed. "Maybe they're not even blocked. Maybe they're just out cold. Anesthesia." JC grunted, his fist clenching and unclenching.

"Maybe they just threw it and it landed where it landed? Who knows? I'm finding it hard to figure out what is and isn't important here. There's so much...conjecture," he murmured, cocking his neck from one side to another now that a terrible, irritable ache had settled in the muscles there. He sighed again. "Well, I don't know if Nico and me are either." They weren't on bad terms, of course. They had been working together. But that goddamn meeting had soured JC even more so than usual. He disliked finding himself on a limb on his own, but he was also not the type of person to back off a limb worth standing on. Júlio César hummed. "Really? I'd think out of all the small towns in the world, this might be the one to make an investigative journalism career in, to be honest." He clicked his tongue.

"Well, I'm not sure you're supposed to ask a person's age. Even a vampire's, but what do I know? She's certainly skilled enough to know what she's doing, yeah." JC pursed up his lips. "Could they be keeping her someplace with...windows? Or outdoors? I know some of us are envisioning dark basements, but...threat of sunlight sans ring would do a good job of keeping you in line, yeah?" He shrugged. "I guess. But I don't know how I feel accepting she'd believe people would just...think she'd made a run for it." He would hope he would not be deliberately ghosted.

"Lori and her crew talk in riddles. I don't take anything any of them say at face value. But Meena and Dhruv disappeared before her last gambit. She wouldn't have gone into that night knowing she was going to fall, right?" He bit his lip, rolling his eyes. "Meena and I are dating. I'm not keeping it a secret, but we're also not buying a billboard or anything. In any case, I'm a leader. Not the Alpha. Still a leader. If I panic, other wolves panic. My job is to keep composure." He closed his eyes. "And I am tearing the town apart. The town. The woods. But we've already had so much destruction. I'm not going to make it worse barging into every crevice. No, there needs to be a method here." He nodded. "Right. This way's faster."

[fcb-mv33]

I can't qrt on tumblr and that's a shame bc that "in 2017 Lewis gave a place to Bottas even tho he was 8s behind and it cost him against Vettel" post is like. Cool, that was nice of him to do that in Val's first season right after Nico left and Niki was still there and Merc was trying to be less toxic/detoxify and they really didn't want Team Rivalry Implosion 2.0. Funny how that didn't last tho. Funny how that's the example that was found and it's 5 years old. Meanwhile even Val, the nicest most self effacing racing driver in the world got fed up with Lewis and Merc not repaying favors. Telling him to move over. Making him give tows while hanging him out to dry later in the same qualifying. Baku 21 anyone? All the engines? But that one time Lewis made the gesture makes up for it all bc it's Merc ig. Sure ok 🙄.

Like it would have been nice if Max gifted 6th to his team mate but I don't think any driver really wants to comply with team orders and given the egos involved in this team (i've been happy and proud to have a Mexican driver in the sport while feeling torn about Checo's elbows out brutal racing style ever since he was in Mclaren and Force India and the team mate incidents with Button and Ocon etc) it seems bizarre to me that RBR would even ask with Checo so far back and tensions obviously brewing. And they're not out there to be nice to their team mates. Max is certainly not the first to ignore team order, he's just not the kind of guy to 'pretend he didn't hear' or play 'what's that? my radios broken' to get out of it. If he feels it's unfair he's not going to do it, and as an autistic who gets fed up with the NT game playing and pretense of 'politeness' people expect that he just comes out and says it. And I also don't think he's the kind of guy to invent an issue with his team mate to justify 'being selfish' so like. Even though the Monaco thing is hard for me to believe (why would he admit it to his bosses if he did it?? that's the part that I can't follow, unless it was to defend himself about being called on making a mistake? like "i didn't break under the pressure i did it on purpose"? idek even that sounds like a stretch) I do believe something is up behind the scenes to make Max lose respect towards Checo. And tbh with the way he acted after the race, claiming he won the championships for Max when they never played the strategy games like Merc did, I'm starting to feel the same way. Idk man, i'm confused and disappointed rn but Max is the single most understandable part of the whole mess.

What you said is fully correct absolutely correct. Merc literally fucked up Bottas so much but Lewis did one thing and he’s praised? Didn’t he also try and back Nico up in Abu Dhabi 2016 to get Seb (?) to overtake Nico so Lewis could win the championship lmao

We all know Max, and genuinely there must be a very strong reason behind why this was done. Because Max wouldn’t have done this just to do it, he isn’t like that so for me there is obviously a concrete reason why Max didn’t do it and tbh I trust Maxs judgment when it comes to something like this.

Also Max had given his reasons before the race. Red Bull should not have asked him to do that knowing what the outcome was going to be.

[tommydarlings]

Jarley Quinn ↬ t.h

A/N: Wow, one of the longest things i ever wrote! got this idea after i watched the joker and Harley Quinn birds of prey and i thought it would be nice to write it... I hope this doesn´t flop, sorry if it´s crap. anyway, enjoy! :) ily,liz <3 

pairing: Tom Holland x reader 

warnings: violent actions, mentions of nearly blowjob?, swearing

w/c: 1.8k 

Requests: OPEN

Summary: Your win an Oscar for your amazing role as Harley Quinn´s and Joker´s daughter, but you didn´t knew that Tom Holland aka your role model would be there too. 

this handwriting = actions and dialogues in the movie

masterlist || taglist || requests || blurb event

„Guys, i think that i´m gonna pass out“ Tom said as they all took their seats in the huge hall.

„Calm down Tom, it´s okay, your gonna win this“ Harry told his brother.

Today was the day.  Today were the oscars. And Tom got nominated for the best leading role in an action / psycho / R rated movie. Cherry.

And the best thing is, when he should win the oscar, then their gonna show cherry on a huge screen in the hall. That´s sick.

Leonarde Dicaprio, Jennifer Lawrence and a lot of other amazing and unbelievable good actors are gonna see his movie then. Sounds like a dream to him.

„Thomas, son, it´s fine, we all believe in you! Your performance in Cherry was amazing and even the Russo Brothers said that it was an oscar worthy performance! Find someone to beat that!“ His mother, Nikki, said to her son with a small laugh.

Just when Tom wanted to answer, the Russo brothers came and both sat down next to Tom.

„Hello, guys!“ Anthony said.

„Hello, how are you?“ Dominic asked them.

„Were good, and excited“ Joe told Dom.

„And i´m fucking nervous“ Tom whisperd.

„Hey, hey, it´s okay to be nervous. Your gonna win this, your gonna rock your speech and in the end everyone will clap for your performance after they all saw the movie!“ Anthony told tom.

Tom could only nod before a man came on the stage and started to talk,

„Hello Ladies and Gentleman! I hope you all feel well and excited!“

The man went on with his speech and after about 15 minutes talking about some random stuff, he finally said the words that the entire hall craved for.

„And now i´m gonna announce the winner for the oscar in the category action / psycho / R rated movie…“

Tom was shaking, Nikki and dominic prayed for their son and Tom´s brothers tried to calm him down a little bit.

„Calm down“ Joe whisperd to Tom.

„I c-can´t“ he stuttered quietly.

The whole hall was so silent, it was creepy.

„Y/N Y/L/N!“ the man on the stage said into the micro.

Tom had his head hung low after his name wasn´t said.

Everyone started to clap, but when they saw who came on the stage, everyone looked very confused.

„What the-„ Tom said.

A young women, maybe about 21 – 22 years came on the stage with a beautiful suit on her body.

 „Hold on, is this the wrong catergory?“ Tom said.

„No, it´s the action / psycho / R rated movie category“ Anthony answerd.

„How can she-„ before Tom could finish his sentence, you started to speak,

„Hello Ladies and Gentleman, omg i can´t belive this, sorry, I won´t steal your time, i just want to thank the cast of this amazing movie and my family and friends who support me since we started filming this masterpiece. Thank you so much and enjoy the rest of the night, love you“ you finished.

„And now, let´s watch the amazing movie of the oscar winner! Jarley Quinn!“ the man said with a huge grin into the mic.

„Jarley Quinn? Isn´t it Joker?“ Harry said.

„Or Harley Quinn?“ Sam said.

„Boys, let´s just watch it“ Nikki told her son´s.

They said a quick and quiet ´okay, sorry´ before the movie began.

Jarley Quinn was written in thick and big letters on the screen, then you appeared onto the huge screen.

You stood infront of a mirror and looked at your reflection in the mirror infront of you. You took each side of your mouth with your fingers and spread them into a big smile before you let me fall and started to cry, tears were running down your cheeks as you still looked into the mirror where you could saw your painted face and green dyed hair. You always painted yourself just like your father and mother did. And the hair were another thing you got from your father. It was funny and interesting.

After this little opening, you went to two graves with the names Joker and Harley Quinn written on them.

„So that are her parents“ Tom whisperd to himself.

„Obviosly“ Harry huffed.

„I´m so sorry mamma and daddy, i´m gonna make you proud and i´m gonna make the entire world remember your name, and my name i swear“ you said.

And then, then the scenes came where everyone understood why you got the oscar in the first place. Even the Russo brothers were impressed.

„Fuck“ you whisperd to yourself as you saw that you need money for the pills you were fucking addicted to. You don´t even need all these pills, but you basically craved them with passion.

„Not again, please not fucking again“ you yelled through your apartment as you tried to find some money anywhere in the living room or kitchen. You even looked in the bathroom.

„Well, i don´t have another option, so“ you said to yourself in a slightly bitchy way.

You grapped your weapon and put it into your weapon holder that was covered up by your red suit jacked from your father.

Just a few minutes later you stood with a bag full of money, a weapon in your other Hand and huge smile on your face that is covered in the iconic Joker makeup in the middle of the bank while every single person around was on their knees and begged for their lifes.

„I won´t hurt anyone, i swear okay? I just wanted the money, but before i leave, i would like to say something, of course if i´m allowed to“ you said.

The bank women nodded quickly with her head before you said your last sentence,

„You look so good on your knees, just like i did yesterday“ you said with an amused laugh before you shot the person that was kneeling infront of you right between their eyes.

You laughed hysterically while you ran out of the bank with the bag and your beautiful weapon.

„Oh m-my g-good“ Nikki whisperd to herself with an shooked expression on her face.

„I mean, that was sick, but it was good“ Anthony said.

„That´s right“ Joe agreed.

„How has she done that with so much ease?!“ Tom whisper – screamed at himself.

After you swallowed your pills, you decieded to go into the club and have a good time, well at least you wanted to have a good time.

The second you stepped into the club, people went silent and didn´t dared to move. But you didn´t liked it.

„What? C´mon, go ahead with your talking about whatever you were talking about! I won´t stop you!“ you laughed.

You really weren´t here to stop anyone, so you just orderd a drink and looked through the club. You stopped your gaze at one specific couch in the corner of the club, a man, trying to rape a poor little young girl.

„Let´s have some fun“ you whisperd to yourself before you took a huge sip from your martini and walked to the scene.

„Can i help you?“ The man asked as he saw you standing infront of him while he held the poor girl in a tight grip on his lap.

„No, but can i help you, little girl?“

„N-no“ she stuttered.

„Okay“ you shrugged before you walked away.

Hold on, let me correct, about to walk away.

You punched him with your fist right on his nose.

„Ow! What the f-„ before he could finish his sentence, you grapped your weapon and hit his temple with it.

He fell unconscious onto the floor and you laughed again in a quiet creppy way before the girl ran into your arms.

„Woah, woah,woah, i only saved you from getting raped, not more“ you said.

„You saved my life, thank you“ the girl said.

„No, i saved your virginity“ you said before you removed yourself from her grip and went to the exit. Before you could exit the loud and sweaty club, a young but confidence looking men grapped your wrist.

„Hello beauty“ he growled.

„Hello, with what can i help you mister?“ you said with a smile on your face that was still full of the iconic makeup of your father.

„How about you help me with the little problem down there“ he said as he looked down to his own…crotch.

„Of course! Your house?“ you answerd with a little smirk.

„Mine“ he said before he dragged you into a car.

Just a few moments later, you were on your knees right infront of his naked figure while he sat comfortably on the couch.

„You gonna be daddy´s good girl?“ the man growled quietly.

You nodded with your head before you opened your mouth and stuck your tongue.

„Good“ he whisperd before he put his hand on the back of your head and directed your mouth to his dick.

But before he could get what he wanted, you pulled your dagger out from your dress pants and stabbed him in his… dick.

„Ohhhhh shit“ Tom hissed while he lightly held his crotch with his hands.

„Fuuuuuck, i know this isn´t real, but that fucking hurt“ Harry said.

„Okay, wow“ Anthony whisperd.

„OW FUCK, YOU LITTLE SLUT!“ the man yelled in pain.

You just started to laugh hysterically again and grapped your lighter, plus a tiny Matchstick from the pocket of your suit jacket.

„Hold on, wha- what the fuck a-are y-you doing, NO AHHH-!“ the man yelled before you lit the matchstick with fire and threw it on his naked body.

You still didn´t stopped laughing in this creppy and loud way as you walked out of the house with a cigarette between your red painted lips.

The next few scenes were violent, brutal, sexual and absolutely disgusting, but at the same time… definitely oscar worthy.

„Okay, that was unbelievable“ Harry said as the credits started to roll.

„You right, that was a true masterpiece“ Sam said with a tiny laugh.

„It w-was really g-good, yeah“ Tom said quietly.

After the movie ended, you got a lot of praises for your performance. Finally, The hollands and the russo brother´s found you and walked to you.

„That was amazing Miss Y/n!“ Anthony said.

„Oh please call me y/n, and thank you“

„Yeah, it was great“ Tom said quietly.

„Thank you so much- hold on, you are Nico walker from cherry right?“ you asked Tom.

„Yeah, you saw it?“ he asked.

„Of course! It was one of the best movies i ever saw!“

The two of you didn´t even noticed that Nikki, Dom, the twins, paddy and the russo brother´s already went as you went on with talking and praises.

„Would y-you maybe l-like to g-go out with me?“ Tom asked with an nervous voice.

„Of course!“ you asnwerd quickly.

„Really?!“

„Yeah, of course, i would actually love to Tommy“

The nickname melted his heart immerdiately.

„Okay, c-cool, uhm, can i have your number?“ Tom asked.

„Yes, here“

After they exchanged numbers, Tom went to his Family and the Russo brothers.

„And? How did it went?“ Harry asked with a little smirk.

„Got her number“  tom said proudly.

„No way! That´s amazing!“ Sam said.

„She is amazing“ tom said with smile.

He can´t wait to see you again.

-`ღ´- ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ -`ღ´-

Taglist:

@goodgirlgonetom @majo240820 @misshale21 @itstaskeen @pure-ghost @justafangirlduh @elizabeth-brown @justafangirlduh​ @roseke​ 

[canon-transgender-virgil]

Check In (Intrulogical)

A/N: Finished this fic relatively quickly! It's a lot shorter than the Roceit one I posted earlier this week but it's still kinda a long fic lol!

Summary: Directly following the events of WTIT, Remus pops into Logan's room for what he claims is a quick chat, but that quickly grows into something more when the two actually get to talking.

Content Warnings: innuendos, swearing, intrusive thoughts, implied NS/FW (but nothing happens, dw), hurt-comfort

Logan had taken shelter in his room the moment Thomas got home from his outing with Nico. The logical side couldn’t stand to be around the other sides at the moment and he needed to sort out what was going on in his head.

The spectacled side took a deep breath and sat at his desk, staring at the wooden tabletop before slamming his fist down on it. “Fuck!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, infinitely thankful for the magic soundproofing around everyone’s rooms. What would the others think if they heard the rational, level headed (yeah right) Logic yelling expletives at random in his room?

He straightened his tie and glasses and got up, summoning a straw dummy labeled “Thomas”. He stood in front of it and glared at the doll, visibly angry, before he began ranting to it. He talked and talked, yelling at the dummy about how angry he was at being constantly ignored and pushed aside and made fun of, and if the familiar 10 notes announcing a certain Creativity’s presence hadn’t gotten his attention, he would have continued.

“My my Logan, you’ve got so much to say and no one to say it to, huh!” The moustached side raised an eyebrow, smirking at the nerd.

“...what do you want, Remus.” Logan’s words were curt, like he was trying to say just little enough to make the Dark Side leave.

“Gosh, I can’t just talk to a friend?-”

“We are not friends.”

“Ouch!” Remus pretended to be injured. “You’re so prickly, like a kinda sexy cactus! What’s up your ass today?”

Logan stopped and consulted his flashcards, hearing Remus snicker at this and trying to ignore the fact that his face was burning slightly. “Um… Ah.” He found the card he was looking for and examined it a little. “Nothing is ‘up my ass’ today, Remus. You know full well why I’m upset.”

“Uh huh, cuz I called you out on your lying ass.” He sounded irritatingly proud of that fact.

“Yes, well, you got what you wanted. Are you just here to rub it in my face?” Logan stared at Remus, though he noticeably avoided direct eye contact with the gremlin of a side.

Remus frowned. “No, actually.”

“Then you’re here to make me… feel… worse, correct?”

“Nope!” The green-sashed monster grinned.

“Then what do you possibly hope to gain from this interaction?” The blue tied Side frowned. Remus wasn’t here to bug him, or to upset him further? What reason, then, did he have to come to Logan’s room?

“It’s like I said earlier, I wanted to talk to you!”

“...what about?”

Remus shrugged. “I dunno! What do you wanna talk about?”

Logan blinked. “...excuse me?”

“Yeah! Let’s hear what you wanna talk about!” The Duke sat down on Logan’s bed and grinned up at him.

“...” The teacher was silent. “...you’re mocking me, aren’t you?”

“Huh?” Remus blinked and raised an eyebrow. “Why would I-?”

“Yes, I figured as much. Remus, I don’t have time for your games and if you’re simply going to make fun of me you can just-”

“Woah! Pump the brakes Lo, who said I was making fun of you?” The green side looked legitimately confused.

Logan crossed his arms. “Remus, statistically speaking, a total of… Zero sides share any of my interests. A total of three sides have shown aversion to or have mocked the things I consider interesting or enj- er, have a vague liking towards. Why should I believe you aren’t here to add to the latter set of data?”

“First of all, because I sat through that whole talk.” Remus joked. Seeing that Logan just rolled his eyes, he continued. “And secondly, because we also have some of the same interests! Your census of mockery only includes J-Anus, Emo Boy, Hop-Pop Patton and my dumbass brother!”

“Really? Then what are some of those shared interests, oh Duke of Imaginary Death?”

“That was terrible, one.” Remus held up his pointer finger. “And two, we both like chemistry, and poisoning, and astronomy-”

“Wait wait wait.” Logan held a hand up to silence Remus for a moment. “You… like astronomy?”

“Sure! What’s more existentially terrifying than imagining going hurtling right into the sun, or a black hole, or-” Remus’s eyes widened as he talked about the possibilities.

“Thank you, Remus.” Logic sighed. “But… why talk with… me?”

“Cuz… I kinda owe it to you? After being a dickhead all day?”

Logan blinked. “You didn’t have a phallus for a head today?-”

“Figure of speech, teach.” Remus explained curtly.

Logan ‘ah’d’ and nodded.

“And anyways… I wanted to apologize.”

That caused Logan to stop. “...you… wanted to apologize… to me?”

“Yeah, it’s weird for me too, but it’s true! I didn’t mean to make you so mad you - figuratively - blew up, I just wanted to prove a point.”

“I appreciate your use of the word figuratively Remus, and… thank you.”

“No problem!” Remus grinned and thought for a second. “So… wanna talk about forensics?”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “Do I ever!-” He stopped. “Ah, uh, I mean… If you’d like to…?”

Remus giggled. “Cute! But you don’t have to hide that, not around me at least!”

“...thank you…” Logan smiled softly and the duke’s heart just about stopped.

“Uh, um… no problem Nerdy Wolverine.” Remus smiled weakly at the cute nerd.

The logical side rolled his eyes and playfully pushed Remus’s shoulder, which brought the moustached side’s attention to just how touch starved he was - a problem for another day, Mus.

“So what d'ya wanna talk about? Black lights, true crime?”

“Both interesting conversations, but… how about another topic you mentioned earlier?” Logan sounded timid, like he was scared Remus would stop listening if he dared to change the subject.

“Oh? What’d you have in mind?” The intrusive thot tilted his head at a sickening 180 degree angle, but that didn’t seem to bother Logan.

“You mentioned being fascinated by astrology as well. Would you like to talk about that?”

“Of course I would, my nerdy Astro-Boy Toy~” Remus laughed at his own nickname, to which Logan rolled his eyes again. “What about space, starlight?”

Logan’s smile grew ever so slightly, thankfully drawing Remus’s attention to that as opposed to his pink cheeks. “Well… let’s talk about constellations. You’re a storyteller of sorts, what’s your favorite constellation origin story?”

“Ooh, how fun!” Remus grinned. “Well, I personally love the story of Aquila, the king who got turned into a golden eagle messenger thing because Zeus got jealous of how much people liked him! You know, he’s the one who brought Zeus his cupbearer, Ganymede? That’s where the Aquarius constellation comes from! He was some Trojan prince, he ended up being the god of homosexual love! Historians think his name was a euphemism, since it’s a combination of the Greek words for ‘gladdening’ and ‘genitals’!”

Logan nodded and watched Remus explain the stories, smiling at how enthusiastically Remus shared the information. Remus noticed this and stopped. “Well, how ‘bout you, teach?”

“Huh?” Logan blinked, being pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Remus’s voice.

“You wanted to talk about constellations! What’s your favorite story?”

“Oh, um… I enjoy the story of Orion, the hunter who killed so many innocent creatures that Gaea sent a large scorpion to kill him and then put both of them in the stars for all eternity.”

“Huh! So that Scorpio constellation…?”

“Yes, that’s its origin story as well.” Logan smiled.

“Funny! I would never have guessed it!” That wasn’t true. Remus knew each and every constellation origin story like the back of his palm. He loved Greek mythology, but the only thing he loved more than that was seeing how Logan’s face lit up when he got to explain it. “Any other stories?”

The teacher blinked and adjusted his glasses. “Oh, um… I also enjoy the Cassiopeia story…”

The duke’s face brightened, eagerly awaiting Logan’s explanation. The spectacled astronomer’s face turned pink when he realized this, not sure what to do with this sort of attention.

“Well, Cassiopeia was a queen in Ancient Greece and she claimed to be the most beautiful thing in creation, which Posideon took personally since he had made what he considered to be the most beautiful creatures, and those were the sea nymphs. So Posideon sent Cetus, this giant sea monster, to torment the town, and he told the citizens that if they wanted him to get rid of the monster, Cassiopeia would have to apologize. She didn’t, so they asked if they could do anything else, and Posideon said if they sacrificed Cassiopeia’s daughter Andromeda to him that Cetus would go away, so the townspeople kidnapped her and brought her down to the pier. Poseidon didn’t like that, of course, since he was really just trying to get Cassiopeia to apologize and didn’t want some poor mortal’s blood on his hands so he let Perseus save her and kill Cetus.

“As punishment for almost letting her daughter die to save her own pride and for insulting the gods, they put her in the sky upside down on a chair to humiliate her for the rest of time.” Logan had gotten pretty excited while he explained the story, grinning widely as he finally finished it.

Remus was silent the entire time, watching how happily Logan told him a story he’d heard a million times before and thinking about how nice it was to be able to hear it from the nerd’s perspective.

Logan, finally remembering Remus was there, coughed softly and adjusted his tie, his smile fading. “Um, apologies, Remus. Thank you for letting me ramble.”

“Lo, you were telling a story! That’d be really dickish for someone to just cut you off during a story, you know?”

“I know, but I still appreciate it.” Logan yawned and Remus realized he looked tired, like the story had exhausted him.

“You wanna take a nap, teach?” The duke frowned and tilted his head.

“I… I have to finish up my work for the day…” The logical side moved his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

“...Lo?”

“Yes…?”

“You had a long day. Yes it was cuz I was being a bitch, but still, you need to get some sleep. Or, y’know, I’m gonna be even more of a bitch to deal with!” Threatening intrusive thoughts usually worked to get Janus to go to bed when he refused to sleep, so he figured he’d try the technique out on Logan.

The nerd however simply shook his head and laughed softly. “I don’t think so, Remus. I can… I can handle you…”

“You couldn’t today, could you?” Remus accidentally blurted out before immediately covering his mouth. “Oh my god I didn’t mean that-”

“It’s fine, Remus.” Logan stated, rubbing his eyes. “You’re right. I couldn’t handle you today. But I really do have to finish working on this-”

“I’ll stay with you if you go to bed!” The duke once again blurted out. “Cuz I don’t think you’d wanna stay alone with Orange so close by, y’know? I can stay and like, fend him off!”

Logic blinked at the proposition and squinted. “...you… want to stay with me? Why are you so adamant about me getting proper sleep?”

“Well one, cuz it’s already 10:30 at night, and two, cuz… you know, I don’t wanna end up actually hurting you!”

That further surprised Logan. “You don’t want to end up hurting me? I was under the impression that that’s something you enjoyed.”

“Well…” Remus was hesitant to explain - that tipped Logan into the fact that it was probably something more than that.

“What’s really going on Remus?” The stern side crossed his arms and stared at the Creativity.

“...okay, I don’t wanna be alone tonight!” The duke stomped his foot and crossed his arms, looking away. “My nightmares have been getting worse and Janus is hanging out with Roman and Patton today and Virgil hates my guts so I figured I’d at least try to hang out with the one side that for some reason still tolerates my dumb ass!” He sounded a little hurt, and added, “Or, one that wouldn’t immediately kick me out or hit me with a broom at the mere sight of me.”

Logan blinked. “Nightmares? You suffer from nightmares?”

Remus sighed and tugged on his sash. “Yeah, they suck ass - not in a fun way - but it’s part of the job description, y’know?”

“I don’t. But… does this mean you also suffer from intrusive thoughts?”

“...yeah… They’re kinda the reason I came in here in the first place...”

The logical side sighed. “Remus, you could have told me sooner you just needed company. I’m not the best at keeping up conversation but I could have at least put on a movie for you to refocus on something other than your intrusive thoughts.”

The duke blinked. “You… you’re not gonna just kick me out?”

“Why would I? You’re in need of assistance and I’m going to provide it for you.” Logan got up and rummaged through his DVD stack. “What would you like to watch?”

Remus stretched and looked over. “Whatever ya want, Sub-astute but Super Cute Teacher.”

Both sides flushed red when they realized what Remus had said.

“...interesting nickname, Remus.” Logan gulped, looking down.

“Yeah, uh…” The duke laughed weakly. “Well, I guess that cat’s out of the plastic bag it was choking in, huh?”

“What, that you think I’m cute?” The teacher looked over at the moustached Creativity. “You already called me sexy.”

“Well yeah, but that felt less… sappy, than calling you cute. And anyways, I meant that I was into you. Ooh, do you have Coraline?”

Logan stopped. “...repeat that, please?”

“The Coraline thing?-”

“The thing before the Coraline request.”

“Oh yeah, I like you.” Remus was right to the point, like always. “When I saw you take the shuriken to the face and just keep on moving right along… God, that was an image!” The duke gripped his thigh and shook his head, stopping himself from reaching down his pants.

“And you’re telling me this now… why?” The teacher was still reeling from the initial confession.

“We don’t get to talk one-on-one a lot! Plus, I don’t really like talking about cutesy emotions - that’s Roman’s department, y’know?”

Logan nodded slowly.

“Anyways, I changed my mind on the movie, can you put on Monster House?”

The spectacled side nodded and got the CD for Monster House, putting it in the DVD player and sitting next to the green-sashed side. He should have figured Remus wouldn’t be the type to linger on his feelings, and he was grateful for that at least. He couldn’t handle talking about feelings for long periods, especially not his own, but to have one of the most passionate sides just drop the fact that they liked him and immediately move on from that fact? It was odd. He almost couldn’t believe it.

Remus meanwhile was laying on the bed and watching the movie intently, smiling brightly at the screen before realizing that Logan had gotten into bed next to him. He turned over a little and growled “seductively” at the teacher, who laughed softly at the dark creativity. The sound caused butterflies to erupt in the duke’s stomach, flustering him a little. He smiled back at the logical side before returning his attention to the movie.

Logan meanwhile admired Remus, watching as he talked excitedly about the movie. He found it strangely endearing, how excitable Remus got when he was able to talk about things he found interesting. He didn’t have much time to think about it though, as he found himself falling asleep soon after the thought passed through his head. The astronerd yawned and passed out, sleeping peacefully next to the intrusive side.

The duke didn’t notice until he felt warm arms wrap around him. It startled the hell out of him, but he relaxed after he realized it was simply the sleeping teacher clinging to him. He carefully took Logan’s glasses off and turned off the TV before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

**The next morning**

Logan woke up first the following morning, still a little tired but feeling much better than he did the previous night. Vision blurry, the blind scholar felt around his nightstand for his glasses before realizing he was curled up into another person. He quickly got his specs on and saw the sleeping form of Remus below him, remembering that Remus had asked to stay with him the night before.

He looked at the sleeping creativity, who looked much more peaceful (and admittedly much cuter) asleep than he ever did awake. Still feeling somewhat tired, the Sherlock kinnie looked away and closed his eyes, feeling his face start to burn. When did he start thinking of Remus as “cute”?

Logan didn’t have too much time to dwell on it as he heard Remus start to stir. “Ugh… morning starshine…”

The teacher jumped and sighed. “Oh, good morning Remus. Did you sleep well?”

“Like an asphyxiated baby… you?” Remus groaned and stretched, waking up a bit more.

“I slept well too.” Logan fidgeted with his hands. The dark creativity, sensing the spectacled nerd’s unease, sat up and went to get off the bed. He was somewhat shocked to feel Logan tug on his sleeve. “Stay. I wanted to talk about what you said to me last night.”

“Oh… that.” Remus sighed and sat back on the bed. “What about it?”

“I… I’m not entirely sure what it feels like, but I think I reciprocate your feelings?”

Remus’s expression changed from slight concern to a poorly hidden malicious grin. “Oh? You’re into me?”

“I… think I am.” Logan nodded slightly.

The duke was silent for a moment before bursting into a grating cackle. “Oh- oh my god! Oh my god, you’re gonna kill me nerd!”

The scholarly side tensed up and blinked. “Excuse me?-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! What kind of goddamn loser are you, to think I - or anyone really - would like you?! Especially after the bullshit you pulled yesterday, like Jesus Christ you’re pathetic!”

Logan’s heart sank as he heard Remus say this. “So you were, what, mocking me?!”

“No shit, Sherlock!” The intrusive side cackled once again before morphing into a huge octopus-human hybrid monster and grabbing the teacher. “You’re so fucking stupid! What on Earth made you think someone like me would like someone like you?! You’re lucky any of the others even talk to you anymore!”

Logan panicked as the tentacles pulled him up to Remus’s razor sharp teeth, about to chomp down on his head, when-

“Lo! Logan, wake up!” The logical side heard Remus’s voice coming from somewhere it should not have been, and Logan woke up with a start. Remus frowned as the teacher practically flung himself away from him.

“Get away from me!” Logan’s voice sounded frantic and panicked, like a cornered animal.

“Woah, woah!” The creativity held his hands up in surrender. “Teach, it’s me!”

The teacher took a few deep breaths and grounded himself, looking around. “...right, right… Apologies, Remus…”

“No problem, Nerdy Wolverine. Now, care to tell me what happened?”

Logan sighed and moved over to Remus, explaining to him his nightmare, tentatively telling the nightmare inducing side that he’d tried professing his mutual love to the other before getting horrendously mocked and belittled.

“Sounds a lot like my Nightmare Nico scenario. Has this happened before?” Remus had managed to ignore his thundering heartbeat and the cheering going on in his head - Logan likes me back!! He could focus on that later. Right now, Logan needed his help.

“No. I don’t normally dream, period, so to get a nightmare is extremely unprecedented.”

“Huh… so, I’m the reason you had the nightmare?”

“That would be the logical conclusion, though I had assumed that your effects would be… muffled, in my room?”

“Maybe it’s a mix of psychological and my effect on you guys? Like you were stressed or anxious about last night so my ability to give people nightmares got amplified?”

Logan nodded. “Interesting hypothesis, and it’s… definitely possible. I apologize for yelling at you earlier.”

Remus shrugged. “Eh, it’s okay, I’ve heard worse.”

The nerd nodded and the two were silent for a moment before Remus sighed and asked what they were both thinking. “So. I like you, and you… apparently like me back? What does that make us?”

Logan hesitated. “I… I’m not sure. What would you like us to be?”

The duke grinned. “How about boyfriends?”

The scholar smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

Remus beamed brighter and moved a bit before stopping. “Can I kiss you?”

Once again mildly surprised by the other’s bluntness, Logan nodded and scooted closer to the dark creativity. Remus quickly pulled the former into a kiss.

Logan was the first to pull away, flushed red and smiling to himself. “I think I could get used to this.”

Remus grinned and took the scholar’s hand. “Me too, Lo. Me too.”

[thiswasinevitableid]

Can you do 60 for indruck, NSFW? Thank you so much! Love your work!

Here it is! I set it in the same world as this sternclay fill. Credit to @bellafarallones for playing in this space on discord. Apollo is from my Super hero AU

“All I’m sayin is it seems mighty unfair to me that one fella gets a handler-assistant type deal and the rest of us don’t.” Duck crosses his arms as Ned fiddles with the pen on his desk.

“You’re not wrong, dear boy, but Apollo was in high demand from the higher ups-”

“Because he’s a shallow dipshit with a mean streak who’ll be good for ratings?”

“Precisely. He demanded in his contract that we allow his twin to continue his work as his photographer and assistant. He has over a million followers on Instagram, so those photos will be a boost to the show. Just try to get along for the camera’s?”

“His brother ain’t even on camera.” Duck mutters.

“I meant with Apollo.”

Duck shrugs, defeated, “sure thing, Ned.”

As he walks back to the main house, he mulls over the fact that the twin (Indrid, he thinks that’s the guys name) bugs him more than Apollo does. Apollo is vain, mean, and selfish, but at least that gets him things, even makes sense for the kind of show they’re on. Indrid gains nothing by helping him out here. Except protection from the bully, which Duck finds to be the worst kind of cowardice. Hopefully Vincent, this season’s bachelor, will see through the “influencer” and send him packing ASAP.

-------------------------------------

Four weeks in, and this is exactly what Duck was worried about. Not only is Indrid hovering around his brother like a nervous moth (excet when cameras are near, at which point he ducks out of frame), he’s doing fucking nothing to reign him in.

A few frontrunners are starting to emerge, and with that claws are coming out. Barclay, a chef and all around nice guy, is the target of choice. Nico and Josh both took bites out of him this morning. But Apollo sunk his teeth in like a dog on a fox, calling him, among other things, a pathetic, six-foot puppy dog who no man would ever want. The cook left noticeably teary eyed. Duck was about to block the cameras from following when Joseph beat him to it. Which is weird, because he thought Joe couldn’t stand Barclay. Apollo flounces off, but Duck corners Indrid where he’s been stoically watching his brother be a raging asshole.

“What the fuck man?”

‘Wrong twin.” Indrid says flatly, indicating his silver hair, tied back in a half-bun. His dark roots are showing and his eyebrows are black, unlike Apollo’s immaculate blonde dye job and bleached brows.

“Nope, right one. You’re his handler, cant’ you fuckin intervene when he’s doin’ shit like that? Or are you just here to let him hurt whoever he feels like?”

Indrid fixes him with a bitter smile, “If there were a way to make my brother be kind or, indeed, see others as people, don’t you think I’d have found it and used it everyday since?”

“I-”

“You people have no idea how much I’m already doing. I kept him from going after you yesterday by reminding him he looks ugly when he yells on camera. And if nothing else console yourself with the fact you all have only to deal with him for a few months. Some of us have endured twenty-eight years of it.”

With that, he turns and stalks from the room. As he leaves, Duck can’t shake the thought that his black denim jacket and worn jeans fit him better than Apollo’s designer ones ever could.

-----------------------------------

Indrid understands why there’s so much alcohol on set, but he can’t partake (too bitter) and it makes Apollo even harder to handle than usual. Which is why Indrid is out on the grounds at ten p.m, intending to hide from his brother until dawn.

At six weeks in, fan favorites are getting more established and Indrid, needing to predict Apollo’s mood in order to do his job, is keeping a close eye on them. His twin is well-liked for being snarky and hot, though he suspects the large number of contestants means there have been limited chances for his unpleasant side to be showcased. Joseph is another, because of course he is, movie-star handsome with an interesting past. Barclay is beloved for the very things that the other contestants torment him for. And Duck? Duck is quickly becoming the one people think Vincent will choose.

Indrid thinks they’re right. He’s charming in an understated way, funny, and while Apollo needles him for his “dad bod,” Indrid and Vincent have both noticed the muscles in his arms. Who gives a damn about flat abs? Indrid would much rather have something soft to rest his head on while those green eyes look lovingly down at him. His crush on Duck is useless, persistent, and must be hidden from Apollo at all costs.

His foot catches something solid and he tumbles over the obstacle to land ass-first on the lawn.

“Ow.” He glares at the object. The object turns out to be Duck Newton, who's obviously drunk as he sits up.

“Sorry man, thought no one’d come out here. Oh it’s you, it's, uh, fuck, fuck c'mon” he snaps his fingers as he searches his thoughts, “It's cute Apollo!”

“Indrid.” Surely Duck didn’t mean to use that adjective. Right?

“No, I’m Duck?”

He snickers, “No, I meant I’m Indrid.”

“Ohhh, right. You're Indrid. I'm Duck. That's the big dipper” He points at the sky. Indrid follows the line and grins, delighted.”

“It is!”

“Uhhuh. C'mere, can show you more.” Duck pats the spot beside him and lays back. Indrid scoots closer and reclines as well, making appreciative sounds each time Duck shows him a constellation.

As they’re studying the sky, the other man whispers, “Can I tell you a secret? I, I think Joe’n Barclay are into each other now."

“The way they look at each other is not exactly subtle.”

‘“Heh, yeah.” he links his hands across his belly, “I think they're in love. You ever been in love?”

“No.” He sighs, not wanting to dwell on that pile of baggage, “You?”

“Nope. And, uh, don’t, don’t tell anyone but I don't think I am with Vincent. Maybe I could be? Does that make me a bad person? He's nice, think he likes me a lot but, I, I dunno.”

“Not being in love with someone doesn’t make you a bad person. No more than loving someone does.”

Indrid is hard to surprise; years of getting out ahead of his brother and father taught him how to see things coming. But nothing could prepare him for Duck rolling to hide his face against Indrid’s chest. Not knowing what else to do, he pats his back, notices a woodsy scent tingling his nose.

“You smell good.” He winces; that was too creepy, now Duck will pull the comforting bulk of his body away.

“Thanks. I bought a bunch of cologne when I realized I was actually going to be a contestant. News clothes too. Thought it would give me an edge but...I dunno, can't compete with a guy like your brother.”

“Join the club.” Indrid reaches up to toy with a lock of Duck’s black hair, expecting Duck to bat him away. Instead, he sighs and turns his head to give Indrid better access.

“You could compete with ‘im. You're cuter. Nicer too.”

“Oh. Ah. Thank you.”

Duck’s fidgets with the mothman pin on Indrid’s jacket, “You wanna cuddle?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“No one cuddles with me. And we ain’t allowed to cuddle Vincent yet.” He looks up, lips pouting just enough to be charming.

Indrid let’s a purr enter his voice, “That’s a shame. I’m happy to cuddle.”

Duck rolls more of his body onto Indrid, resolutely nestling his head under his chin and tangling their legs together. His hands stay on Indrid’s chest and shoulders, though he’s now drunkenly petting Indrid’s collarbone, making him shiver. He expends four months worth of daring in a second, wrapping his arms around the curves of Duck’s torso. When Duck’s fingers brush skin instead of shirt, Indrid whimpers, then bites his lip and prays it went unnoticed.

“You don’t get cuddled much either, do you?” Duck murmurs thoughtfully.

“No.”

“Damn shame, you’re real good at it. Can cuddle me any time.”

Indrid “mmhmms” knowing the promise is like the stars; bright and comforting in the darkness, but ultimately beyond his reach.

Three day later, he drops his guard; Apollo’s been on his good behavior since Vincent’s been spending more time with him. You’d think Indrid would learn by now that all his venom has to go somewhere.

He’s huddled down in the rec room trying not to cry; it’s pathetic enough that he let such childish insults get to him, but to cry over them would confirm everything his brother said.

“Indrid? You, uh, you okay?” Duck’s reflection in the darkened T.V approaches his own.

“I'm fine.” It’s the same inflection he’s used hundreds of times, but Duck sits down on the couch all the same.

“Do you, uh, need a hug?’

“No.” He replies a hair too quickly.

“Do you want one?”

“......Badly.”

Duck opens his arms and Indrid shifts on the cushions, doing his best to curl his long limbs so they’ll fit in his embrace. The shorter man notices, concern flashing on his face.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not particularly.”

“Okay. You, uh, wanna hear the most exciting news of the day?” He waits for Indrid to nod, “there was a cougar sightin’ in the foothills near here!”

“That is both very exciting and alarming.”

“Doubt it’d go after folks, they try to steer clear of people. We don’t have ‘em back home, but you learn what to do when you’re also learnin how to deal with bears.”

“How does one deal with a bear? Other than buying them a drink.”

Duck snorts, relaxes further into the couch, “Depends on how soon you see ‘em…”

They emerge two hours later, and Indrid is so engrossed in their conversation about hiking incidents that he runs smack into a camera man. While he’s apologizing profusely, Duck guffaws, steadies him, and leads him off in search of somewhere to watch the sunset.

-----------------------------------------

“Oooh, ooh, look, sea lions!” Indrid points to the distant wharf.

“Good eye. Man, those fuckers are big. Glad none of ‘em were in the water when we did that fuckin cliff dive.”

“I for one would pay good money to see my brother chased by a sea lion.”

Duck chuckles, pops the tab on his WhiteClaw. They’re having dinner on the beach, a gourmet spread meant to encourage them to show off their pallets. Indrid took Barclay’s recommendation and ordered the whole, grilled snapper, which he assumed he’d be eating alone; Vincent’s attention has been on Duck ever since he went swimming this morning. Duck seems to be enjoying it, but come dinner time he demurred (“gotta let some of the other fellas have a chance”) and brought his basket of fried oysters over to join Indrid on the sand.

“Speakin of your brother, kinda surprised he didn't make any digs at this whole, uh, situation.” Duck gestures to the torso Indrid is currently aching to lick droplets of saltwater from. To subdue the craving, he licks salt from his fingers before replying.

“I, ah, the last time he tried to, I reminded him of all the pictures I have of him eating. He hates to be seen eating. Most of the time.” He tilts his head towards his twin, who’s chowing down next to Vincent without a care for the cameras. Indrid sets his hand on the warm sand, “I’ve been trying to, well, reign him in as you suggested. Or at least make him think twice about his choices.”

(Indrid omits the part where he’s most likely to risk it if Duck is the one with the target on his back).

Duck sets his hand down beside Indrid’s, brushes sand from the side of it with a calloused thumb, “Mighty good of you. But, uh, think I mighta read things wrong that day. You gotta handle him how you think best. Just, uh, just promise me you won’t sacrifice your own well-bein’ for my sake, or anyone else’s. We’re all grown-ass men; we can handle it.”

“I promise.” He lies.

The other man leans back on his hands, green eyes drifting across the waves. Indrid would gladly sit in silence the rest of the night, it’s so easy to be comfortable in the lull when it’s Duck filling the space beside him.

Eventually, the ranger murmurs, “It’s so fuckin breathtaking. The ocean, I mean. Maybe if you live on a coast you get used to it but man, it is somethin;.”

“More so than the forest?”

Duck smiles, “It’s like apples and oranges. Monongahela got its own charms; you’d have a blast takin pictures and drawin there, believe me. If, uh, if Apollo and I both make it to the final four, uh, maybe we could take a few hours durin’ my hometown visit and I could show you my favorite spot.

Indrid imagines the two of them beneath the trees, walking hand in hand.

“I’d like that.”

---------------------------------------------

“You know you’re just a distraction, right?”

Indrid doesn’t look at his brother, just flips the page in his book, “I doubt that. You’ve said, often, that I’m too off-putting to be interesting.”

“Not when there’s competition for someone superior; Duck knows he might not win. You’re his back-up if he doesn’t, and a way to kill time until the end. Once Vincent sends him home, which he most definitely will, he’ll keep you around until something better comes along.”

“Don’t act like you know him.” Indrid hisses, looking up just in time to see something scurrying behind the triumph on Apollo’s face: fear.

So, his brother has a new weakness. He’ll tuck that away for later; this is shaping up to be an unpleasant conversation, but not one requiring quite that degree of weapon.

“You should thank me. If I weren’t so captivating, Vincent would spend all his time with Duck. Then you’d be without any attention at all. Even Duck’s taste isn’t that abysmal.” He grins his several thousand dollar smile, “he and Vincent are probably laughing about it right now.”

Indrid stands, crosses the tiny room, “Shut up, Apollo.”

Then he slams the door. There’s a yelp, followed by “you hit my nose, you pathetic excuse for a man, ow, open this door this instant I’m not done with you!”

He flicks the lock and sits back on the bed. There’s a tin of sensory putty on his nightstand and he opens it, playing with it between his fingers. Duck brought it for him after a museum date with Vincent. The image of him not only thinking of Indrid when he saw something, but then buying it for him just to see him smile makes him want to grin and hide his face in a pillow like a teenager who just got asked to prom.

But maybe this date is going differently.

Indrid squeezes the putty, repeats the mantra he’s had since he was a child, “Apollo always lies. Apollo always lies.”

Eventually, he’s calm enough to work on some tattoo commissions, is coloring away when there’s a knock on the door. A secret knock Duck invented as a goof. Throwing open the door reveals the shorter man wearing a suit jacket and an exhausted expression. Indrid gestures to the bed, shuts and locks the door as Duck slumps on the mattress and sets his head in his hands.

“Whelp, that was a shit-show.”

“What happened?” Indrid sits cross-legged beside him.

“Vincent went in for a kiss and I, uh, I turned him down. I mean, he took it well because he’s a sweet guy but I, I feel like shit.”

“There’s no shame in not wanting to kiss just yet.”

“That ain’t the problem. I, I wanna kiss someone on this set, but it ain’t him. Indrid” he looks up, green eyes watery, “Indrid, I think I’m fallin in love with you.”

“Oh. I, are you sure-”

“The whole night, and I mean the whole fuckin night, I was thinkin about you. Thought how nice the trip to the botanical gardens would be with you there to point out color combos and get excited about butterflies. Wanted to hold your hand over dinner. Fuck, when they brought out the dessert menu all I could think was how fun it’d be to order one of each thing to surprise you so you’d do that thing you do with your hands when you’re real excited.” Duck turns, sets his hands on Indrid’s shoulders, “‘Drid, if you don’t want this, I’ll back off but-”

Indrid cuts him off with a kiss, let’s strong arms pull him down to the bed and presses as close to Duck as he can, as if any space between them might be a way for the universe to push them apart.

“Than fuck” Duck pants, cupping his face, “wait, fuck, what do we do now? I can’t string poor Vincent on.”

“We’ll get them to let you out of your contract. It can’t be that hard, right?”

--------------------------------------------

“Absolutely not” Ned shakes his head, “dropping out of the show is out of the question.”

“But that ain’t fair to any of us. Can we at least tell Vincent the truth?”

“No, it needs to look as if he naturally decided not to choose you. If not, we could be accused of manipulating results; the last time that happened, the ratings tanked for that season and the next. And my predecessor was fired.”

Duck looks at Indrid, “Guess I’ll just...pull back? That way Vincent won’t have a reason to choose me and’ll let me go soon.”

----------------------------------------------

“Droppin out is outta the question, huh?” Duck mutters to Indrid as they watch Barclay and Joseph walk off holding hands, the host eagerly asking them questions as they go.

“I suppose he didn’t drop so much as sprint.” Indrid glances at the rose in Duck’s hand, “congratulations on making the final...well, final three now.”

“Thanks? Guess Apollo’s pretty happy about it too.”

“Yes, but his ego needs no stroking.” Indrid smiles, “maybe this means you’ll get to show me the woods?”

“I hope so. Huh. What are they gonna do with the rest of us when it’s not our turn for the hometown visit?”

The answer turns out to be: drag everyone to each hometown. Because they no longer have Joe’s trip to do, Ned decided they needed more scenes of the contestants exploring where their competitors came from.

Kepler is first, and tonight is the night Duck’s been dreading. His romantic, home-town date that everyone expects to end with at least some kissing. He manages to make it through dinner, even enjoys showing Vincent the down-town he spent years roaming. But as they start down the river walk for a romantic stroll, his heart is trying to smash its way out of his ribs.

“It’s alright, you know.” Vincent stops, guiding Duck to face him, “the fact you want to be with Indrid.”

“I, uh, fuck, I, I don’t not know, uh, fuck-” he closes his eyes, “how’d you know?”

“I’m more observant than I get credit for.” Vincent brushes his cheek, “I’ve had a hunch for weeks now, but I kept you around because I liked having you here, even if I suspected it wasn’t going to end with us together. I’m very fond of you, Duck. You deserve someone who makes you happy. I promise I’ll send you home this next rose ceremony”

“Christ” Duck chuckles, “you’re a hell of a guy too, Vince. I hope whoever you pick treats you right. I, uh, can I, should we…?”

Vincent plants a chaste kiss on his cheek, then smiles, “go get him.”

----------------------------------------

“Any twos?”

“No. Go fish.”

Apollo grumbles as he takes another card. Given Duck and Vincent are on their date, neither he nor Indrid is having a good night. Before Indrid can make his ask, his twin says, “How do you get people to like you?”

“Why do you care? You’ve made it this far, so obviously Vincent likes you a great deal”

“I don’t just mean him. I, I mean, I want him to like me. To want me. But I suspect he’d like me better if other people did.”

Indrid idly taps his cards, “I suggest you stop acting like our father.”

“I’m nothing like him!” Apollo squawks.

“Oh, but you are. Everything he taught us you still hold as true; you’re just the newest version of men like him. Self-absorbed. Cruel. Shallow. I’m amazed you’ve gotten this far with Vincent, given that the age difference means you’d be caring for him in his old age.”

“I, I can care for him. I will!”

“Apollo, I wouldn’t trust you to care for a potted plant.” He sets his cards down.

“At least I’m not a-”

“Ambitionless deviant who has to ride his brother’s coattails to survive?”

“Wha--how-”

“Like I said; you’re just like him. Down to your insults.” Indrid stands, “I’m going to bed. I suggest you do the same.”

His brother remains speechless--a rare state for him--as he closes the door and heads for his room. He doubts Duck will do anything on the date (hell, the two of them have only been able to steal some kisses now and then), but the whole charade has him feeling low.

There are far more cameras in the rented house than there were a few hours ago. Which means the rest of the crew is back. Does that also mean…

“Hey, sugar. I was just lookin for you.”

--------------------------------------------------

Duck’s glad his door is open, because otherwise Indrid would have smashed it to pieces dragging them both through it. He’d only gotten out the barest explanation before the taller man was kissing his face and tugging at his clothes, purring “mine” over and over again.

“Yep, all yours.” He shuts the door as Indrid mouths at his neck, “which also means you’re all mine.” He yanks Indrid’s black sweater up and over his head, sends the matching t-shirt after it a moment later. Indrid whines, fumbling with Duck’s dress shirt, and he gets an idea.

“Uh uh, only good boys who show me why they deserve it get to feel me up.”

Indrid groans into his shoulder, fisting the fabric of his jacket “What constitutes good behavior in this instance?”

“One sec, don’t go nowhere.” He starts to step past him, pauses to grips his chin and pull him into another kiss, “and no peekin.”

As he digs through his bag for the strap on he brought just in case, he keeps an eye on Indrid to be sure he’s following the directions. The taller man’s fingers twitch, but his head stays still. God, Duck is going to memorize the shape of each of the tattoos decorating his skin with his mouth.

“You did real good.” He slips around Indrid once more, resting his back on the wall. Indrid notices the new bulge in his pants and thuds to his knees.

“May I?”

“You better.”

Indrid undoes the button of his fly. Then he looks at Duck over the rim of his glasses as he takes the zipper between his teeth and pulls it down. When the black silicone of the strap breaks free, Indrid cocks his head as if unsure of his options. Duck doesn’t really have a plan--he just wants to be with him, to make him feel good and show him just what weeks of pent-up desire have done to him--but he’s starting to regret that choice.

Indrid flicks hair from his face and wraps his lips around the head of the cock experimentally. He hums, sucking on it a moment, then pulls back blushing, “This is going to sound strange but, ah, I, I really like that. It’s such a lovely texture on my tongue, it’s, it’s almost soothing to suck.”

“Guess you better keep suckin it then, huh?” Duck runs the fingers of his right hand through Indrid’s hair.

“Is that really alright? It can’t feel like much on your end.”

“Don’t mean it ain’t fun to watch. But, uh” he touches the edge of Indrid’s red glasses, “it okay if I take these off?”

Indrid nods and Duck slides them free, tucks them into his breast pocket for safekeeping as Indrid draws the cock into his mouth again. He focuses on the head at first, humming and moaning as it bumps his cheek. Then Duck sees him swallow and relax the muscles of his jaw as he presses closer. Little puffs of breath tickle Duck’s skin as Indrid gets most of the cock in his mouth, cheeks hollowing and head bobbing as he sucks. Hungry noises burlbe up his throat, and the more he lets himself go the messier he becomes, spit coating his lips and eyes fluttering closed in bliss.

“Okay, I lied.”

Brown eyes shoot him a disbelieving look.

“This ain’t fun. This is one of the hottest fuckin things I’ve ever seen.”

Indrid wiggles happily on his knees, left hand dropping to rubs his own cock through his jeans.

“Needy little thing, gotta have somethin down your throat and around your dick at the same time.”

“MMMhhmmm” Indrid purrs, the picture of filthy perfection.

“If, if you swallow the whole thing, I’ll let you finger-fuck me.”

Both hands fly to his thighs with an excited moan. Indrid’s brow crinkles with determination as he slowly, carefully brings his lips to the base of the toy. Duck groans out “good boy” and shoves his pants down, Indrid helping to drag them to his ankles. Indrid keeps his left hand on Duck’s hip while the right hovers below his folds. Duck takes it, the toy making the angle a bit awkward, and guides it against him.

“Start with one.”

Indrid nods, moans reverently as he obeys. Duck curses, looks down to find Indrid watching him attentively. Duck is going to wreck him. Then he’s going to cuddle him to sleep and wonder at the fact he got this lucky.

“You’re doin’ great, sugar. Promise I’ll tell you if you need to adjustOH, ohyeah” he lets his head rest against the chipped white of the door, “that’s the spot. Fuck it, add one more, Ahfuck, yeah, those artists fingers are fuckin perfect for this.”

Another purr and then a sharp, choked noise. Duck looks down, realizing he rolled his hips without meaning to. Before he can apologize, Indrid grips his thigh and shakes his head.

“You like that?”

“Mmhhmmm” Indrid traces a heart on his belly.

“You’ll pull off you need to?”

“Mhmmmm.” Indrid curls his fingers as his stretched lips manage to grin.

“Fuck!” Duck giggles, “okay, if my darlin wants his face fucked, that’s what he’ll get.” He keeps a hand on Indrid’s shoulder as he lets loose, grunts and curses mingling with the increasingly wet moans of his cock claiming Indrid’s throat. Soon he’s out of words, too busy with the sight of himself forcing Indrid’s lips apart as he tightens around his fingers. Handjobs are a toss-up for him most days; sometimes they work, other times he can’t cum from them at all. It turns out what makes it very easy to do so is-

“‘Drid, fuck, fuck, sugar, yeah, right there, rightthererightthere ohfuckyeah.” He cums, jerking his hips hard enough to punch a new, high sound from Indrid’s throat. The other man pulls off, rests his cheek on Duck’s belly with shuddery, satisfied sighs.

“Y’know” Duck unbuttons his shirt from the bottom up so Indrid can more easily nuzzle the skin there, “I had this whole plan where I was gonna fuck you with this and then ride your face to cum.”

“I’m not opposed.” Indrid grins, bouncing a bit.

“Yeah, but I’ve only got one in me tonight. So” He tosses the shirt away, pulls off the harness as Indrid nibbles his hips, “if you wanna cum, you’re gonna have to do all the work.”

An edge enters his smile, “I can manage that.”

Duck hits the floor with a whump, Indrid trapping him on his back and climbing atop him, all the while kissing him with abandon.

“May I fuck you?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Condom?”

“Dop kit, bathroom, aw come back.”

“Patience, sweetheart” Indrid blows him a kiss, returns a few moments later doing an inelegant dance to kick his jeans and boxers away, “got one!”

“Good, now get back down here before I-AHfuck!” Indrid is on him and in him so fast it knocks his breath away.

“Before what? You’re not going anywhere, you’re mine, alllllll mine.” He drags kisses across Duck’s cheek, then bites his chapped lip as he looks down at him, “right?”

“You know it, nnng, fuck, that’s it sugar, be a good boy and cum for me. Fuck, darlin, wanted this so bad.” He locks his fingers into silver hair to keep Indrid in kissing distance as the other man whimpers, thrusts shallow and rabbity.

“Want you too, so much, I’ll be worth it, I swear, I’ll be good, I’ll, I’ll make you so happy.”

Duck rests their foreheads together, “You already do.”

There’s a high, gasping moan, almost like a chirp, and Indrid rides out his orgasm in drawn-out rolls of his hips. Then he collapses, laughing, on Duck’s chest.

“I, I’m sorry, I just never thought I’d get this. Someone wanting me. Choosing me.”

“I mean, I went on a T.V show to find love, so I know a little somethin about that fear. But I also know findin you is better than anythin I ever imagined.”

“Likewise.” Indrid nestles closer, one hand reaching out to hold Duck’s where it’s flopped on the rug.

“...You realize this means there’s a fifty-fifty chance your brother will win.”

Indrid shrugs, lifts his head to smile at Duck, “I leave that to Vincent. I already got my prize.”

[nekojitachan]

Okay, so this is... IDK what this is. I guess this is the bare bones of my take on The Old Guard with the Monsters/AFTG.

Uhm, warning for people dying/violence, not in very nice ways, some of them (Nicky’s is vaguely tied to canon if you think about it).

*******

Somehow, it didn’t come as a big surprise to Anders when he and his twin came back to life after being killed by the raiders who’d stormed their longhouse, along with everyone else. The strangers had sneered at him and Aron, the ‘living’ vessels of their people’s twin gods, then invoked the name of their own unknown god as they shoved their bronze swords repeatedly into their flesh. Anders had a small knife he’d hidden beneath his robes, but he hadn’t been able to put up much of a fight against trained warriors.

(He’d repeatedly asked to be taught to fight, but Tilda had just laughed and ignored him, too busy soaking up the attention she garnished as the mother of a god’s vessels. Too busy drinking fermented berries and milk to care about how Knut, the elder, mistreated them.)

No, unlike Aron, Anders considered being unable to die (well, to remain dead) a curse instead of another sign of the twin gods’ favor, proof that the Fates took great pleasure in tormenting them. They didn’t age and they healed no matter how badly they were hurt, yet they weren’t immune to starvation, cold temperatures or other things which made life difficult.

They had no choice but to constantly move on, with no family to take them in and strangers suspicious of them if they remained in one place too long. Aron soon grew bitter when he realized that no woman would want him anymore once she continued to age and he didn’t, and it was much the same for Anders if he felt an attraction for another man.

It went on that way for almost eighty years, the two of them isolated from the rest of the world by some terrible curse, until they were driven from sleep one night by the image of a teenaged boy with long, dark auburn hair and pale blue eyes, beaten and bloodied, being held down by two men while an older man with similar pale eyes and red hair cut close to his scalp grinned as he slit the boy’s throat.

Only the boy didn’t remain dead, because the next image showed him alive (and covered in blood) as he stood by a pyre with a woman’s body on it, then as he scavenged through the ransacked sheep farm for anything useful he could find before he took off running. Anders stared at his twin as the images faded away, at the shock in hazel eyes the same color as his own, and knew they shared the same thought as well as appearance; it wasn’t just a dream, and they were no longer alone.

They set out to find the redhead, but the young man proved as elusive as a dream. Anders took to calling him the rabbit, because it felt as if they were chasing such a creature through a forest during the night, fumbling along like a bunch of clumsy fools while it vanished with ease into the thick foliage. The occasional dreams were of little help, because as soon as they figured out the redhead’s location in the dream, he always was gone by the time they finally got there.

Anders was going to cut his tendons a few dozen times when they finally caught up to the flighty bastard.

So six hundred years later, when they had another dream of a tall youth with black hair and green eyes being killed in battle, they wasted no time tracking him down to the island of the Celts. Caoimhín wasn’t a runner like the rabbit and refused to leave until he (along with Anders and Aron) almost ended up as a solstice sacrifice.

Funny how almost being set on fire while alive motivated one to see the world.

Anders began to regret the whole ‘let’s save a fellow immortal’ thing after a decade or two, when Caoimhín proved to be an annoying know-it-all. If the tall bastard wasn’t so good at fighting… he did come in handy whenever Anders managed to ‘upset’ the locals for interfering whenever the assholes were selling slaves (especially children) or mistreating servants – which was often. Aron yelled at him for having the subtlety of a raging bull, but the Persians got on his nerves, as did the Romans, and the Huns and the Franks, and… well, any bastards who thought because they had a bit of land and enough people with pointy weapons that they could boss everyone around.

(Caoimhín said he had a problem with authority. Aron said he was an asshole.)

And through it all, the rabbit. Kept. Running. And. Running.

They finally ran into another immortal who’d been ‘reborn’ a couple decades before when in Damascus, of all places, as Salah ad-Din fought Europe’s Crusaders, and learned that perhaps there was a reason why the rabbit kept his distance. Riko was a viper in human form, and after he did his best to dismember Caoimhín, Anders ‘killed’ him in front of some of Salah ad-Din’s men, leaving them to believe that the other immortal was a djinn when he ‘came back’ to life.

The three of them had no problem abandoning Riko in Damascus, wrapped in iron chains and sealed in a cave.

They kept wandering and fighting what seemed to be hopeless battles, especially with the rise of the Catholic Church. There were times when Anders (now Andrew) wanted to retreat from the world, to find an isolated, empty island and never leave it, but there was Aron (Aaron) and Caoimhín (Kevin), who weren’t quite ready to give up, and a damn rabbit with the clearest blue eyes he’d (sort of) seen who haunted his dreams and taunted him by always being just out of reach.

Then in the 1600s, the three of them dreamed of a new immortal born in the New World, one beaten and starved to death by monks. Unhappy about the thought of the long voyage, Andrew and his fellow ‘monsters’, as he’d come to think of three of them, headed across the Atlantic. It took them almost four years to find Nico, the son of a native woman and a conquistador, who’d been killed because of his attraction to men. The young immortal broke into tears to finally be with his ‘own’ kind, to be safe at last, and was a cheerful presence.

He was even more annoying than Kevin.

They spent a few years wandering the New World, but were drawn back to chasing the rabbit once again; he’d gone to ground in China, leading Andrew to hope that for once he’d stand out and be easy to find, but the damn bastard had developed an almost inhuman skill for learning the local language and blending in wherever he went. Kevin grumbled about him being a damn chameleon, while Aaron wondered if perhaps he’d truly died and they were hunting a ghost.

For some reason… that thought bothered Andrew.

Things carried on as they had before, only it seemed that every time Andrew turned around, the world had changed in some manner. A new country had formed, an old government had been overthrown, a new religion had been invented, yet another senseless war broke out, someone created an invention that upended things in a startling way…. He still remembered how for so long everyone had used bronze swords until someone had figured out how to smelt iron, how there’d only been longhouses and small farms until all of a sudden towns and then cities began to appear.

Change was inevitable, as was the fact that humans would twist some of those changes into something bad.

Still, he never thought that those changes would lead to things that would enable him and his monsters to travel the world in days (and then hours) instead of months or weeks, that wars would break out that spanned continents and could destroy entire cities in minutes. The four of them saved what they could, but soon it became impossible to keep up, not just because there were so many lives in danger and so much being destroyed, but because they could no longer fade into the shadows with ease with things like digital records and cameras in existence.

They learned as much as they could about modern technology; Nico (Nicky) and Aaron took to social media without any problems, while Andrew and Kevin picked up some hacking skills. They bought the best fake IDs possible and did everything they could to leave no trace online.

Yet they couldn’t stay in one place very long, not when they kept working, when they used the skills they’d honed over centuries to help people in need. Which was why they were traveling from France to England via the Chunnel; Andrew refused to give up his customized Maserati just yet, so they’d take the car with them on the train.

They didn’t expect any issue with their papers, especially since they’d used them a few days ago, so it was a surprise when a customs official in Calais frowned when he scanned Aaron’s while the machine beeped several times. Then the same thing happened with Nicky’s. Andrew tensed and tugged the cap on his head further down as he prepared to fight while Kevin did the same; their weapons were hidden in the special compartment in the Maserati, but they were good at improvising.

However, before they could react more than that, a familiar voice called out in French to the customs officials, one Andrew recognized with ease from his dreams over the last three millennia; the rabbit, dressed in a customs uniform, his dark auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail that trailed just past his shoulders, tapped the official who held Aaron’s documents and said he’d check it out, that there was an issue with the scanners. He purposely didn’t look at any of them as he did something to the scanner then ran the passport again, which beeped once in an ‘all clear’. Then he went to do the same for Nicky’s as the fool gaped at him.

As soon as Andrew was cleared, he stalked after his quarry, who to be fair didn’t try to run (for once). He grabbed the other immortal by the wrist and spun him around, part of him noticing that the rabbit was only a couple inches taller (which was a welcome change, considering how for the last few centuries, everyone towered over him). About to curse the bastard out for leading him on a merry chase for over three. Fucking. Millennia, he found himself stunned silent when the rabbit smiled.

(Maybe he should have considered what would happen when he finally caught the redhead.)

*******

Yes, Andrew, what does happen next???

I’ve never taken the Chunnel, so sorry if I messed something up there (I wrote what I did to fit the story). It’s a bit vague, but the twins are Scandinavian Bronze age, Neil is England Bronze Age (around Middle Bronze Age), Kevin is Ireland @ 600 BC, and Nicky is Mexico @ 1600′s. I debated having Andrew and Aaron separated, until I saw the twin gods thing. They were together, but per Tilda’s crappy parenting, they had a very rough childhood with Andrew protecting Aaron.

Mary raised Neil (Ram) to be cautious/wary of strangers. I’m thinking Nathan was a sea raider and... well, he came back years later and that time, he wiped out the farm. Neil heeded his mother’s lesson a little too well, but over time he finally came to learn that Andrew and the others weren’t all bad and finally stepped in to help them (and in a way, protected his own hide).

[inkribbon796]

What a Beautiful Wedding Ch. 2: Captive Audience

Summary: Friday TV Listing Guide:

5:30 PM (PST) Making Waves (CC)—Comedy

Life in the Barnum household is usually chaotic. With nine kids and three dads, school life and work is always an adventure but they manage.

(2) (3) (6) (12)

Innit for Trouble (CC)—Comedy-Drama

Best friends, Tubbo and Tommy (Tuberculosis “Tubbo” Underscore and Theseus “Tommy” Innit), compete to be the best hotel managers along Brighton coastline. All while trying to balance a crazy home life and even crazier customers.

(5) (12) (24)

Sanders Sides (CC)—Comedy

Thomas (Thomas Sanders) projects the different aspects of his personality into characters called the Sanders Sides. With their help he tries to get through crazy adventures and fun situations.

(3) (6) (24)

A/N: Welcome to my personal hell that is sitcoms. I just decided to make them into funny angst.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

CHANNEL 2

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

[Making Waves is filmed in front of a live (CAPTIVE) studio audience.]

Dark does eventually pull himself out of bed, which caused Chase to grumble and hold onto him a bit tighter, but he’s eventually able to pull himself downstairs for his first coffee of the day.

It’s Saturday and early but one or two of the kids are already up. Namely Host and King who were always early birds. The two teenagers looked like they were still in the process of waking up.

“Coffee’s already hot,” King grumbled as he stared at his phone, not as awake as he’d like to be, a black cat in his lap.

“Oh thanks,” Dark told him as reached for a coffee cup.

At that point Illinois raced into the room, a huge excited smile on his face, “Guys, I think I’m in love.”

[OOOOOOHHHHH.]

“The poor thing,” King rolled his eyes. “I’ll start the funeral.”

[LAUGHTER]

“Hey come on, he’s the one, I know it,” Illinois walked over as Chase slowly dragged himself into the kitchen. He set his chin on Dark’s shoulder and was trying to reach for the coffee pot. Dark gave him a little half smile and passed him an empty cup.

“You’d think you’d run out of people to date since your [BLEEP] has killed more people than a serial killer.” King rolled his eyes.

“Boys,” Chase grumbled. “If yer[1] gonna[2] argue, at least wait until I’ve had coffee. Or at least until I’ve had my fourth.”

[LAUGHTER]

Illinois paused to look around, confused, he’d thought he’d heard . . .

While Illinois was having his crisis and the adults were trying to fully wake up, two of the family’s preeten triplets were outside in the backyard.

Memento and Mori each had a lobster in one hand, a roll of tape and a BB gun in another. Chase spotted them through the blinds and raced outside.

[LAUGHTER]

Chase did a double take, “Boys, the hell are yeh[3] doin[4]?”

Dark lowered the tablet and gave the pre-teens a firm stare.

“Science project,” Memento smiled at him.

“What possible science project could you maniacs be doing?” King demanded from the window. “You two going to fight them?”

“No,” Mori told him. “We’re just filming something.”

[LAUGHTER]

“It’s too early fer[5] this,” Chase groaned and went right back inside.

[LAUGHTER]

[Musical jingle as scene transitions.]

Much later in the day Chase was with Memento and Mori, the two had wanted to go to the local park. And in a weird turn of events Illinois wanted to come with him.

Which was weird because on his days off school, when Illinois wasn’t going for runs or hikes, he was with Dark over at city hall just spending time with his dad.

But here he was.

“So, yeh got a reason ta be here or just wanted ta get outta the house?”[6] Chase smiled.

Illinois was looking off in a corner of the park where a couple duplexes sat. “Huh?”

[LAUGHTER]

“Yer[7] new crush here?” Chase kept a distant eye on two of his boys. Normally you could leave a pair of twelve-year-olds alone for an hour or two but that wasn’t the best idea with Memento and Mori.

Illinois was more than a bit red in the face.

[LAUGHTER]

“What?” Illinois stiffened.

“What’s their name?” Chase smiled.

“Eric,” Illinois smiled. “I just look at him and I just . . . I don’t know, I just feel something.”

“Well, just be careful,” Chase told him. “I don’t wanna see yeh get hurt again.”[8]

Illinois nodded solemnly before looking up and seeing the back door of one of the houses open up and the young man shot up and raced over to the chain link fence. Chase smiled as he watched him and followed after him a bit slower but kept his distance.

“Hey, Eric,” Illinois greeted as he got up to the fence and Eric jumped in surprise. “You wanna[9] hang out?”

“Ills,” Eric looked around in terror, his face a blush-red mess. “My dad’s home early.”

“Ohh, you want me to,” Illinois started before the back door flew open and Derek Derekson stormed out.

“Eric! Are you talking to that boy again‽” Derek shouted and he stormed over. Eric almost tripped over himself trying to get away from the fence.

At the yelling and the sight of Illinois flinching away, Chase raced in and pulled Illinois back so he could stand in front of him when Derek stormed to the door of the fence.

He stopped when he recognized Chase.

“You’re the Mayor’s boyfriend right?” Derek said, with the type of tone that would have been followed by an insult or a punch if he thought there was a fight he could win.

“One ‘a ‘em, yeah, why?”[10] Chase had his hands in his pockets, mostly so he wasn’t punching the man.

Derek looked at Chase, clearly deciding something.

“Yeh have somethin’ ta say, say it,”[11] Chase told him.

Glaring at him, Derek stepped back into his property, “Nah, have a nice day. Eric, gotta[12] tell you something about work, come on.”

Eric snapped to scurry inside, looking terrified. Illinois looked concerned as Chase pulled him away.

“Come on, Ills, gotta[12] get the boys,” Chase told the teen and decided to talk to Dark about this.”

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

CHANNEL 12

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

“Well it’s not my fault,” Tommy shouted as he stormed into the bed and breakfast’s lobby. He had a starfish still on his head and was covered in seaweed. Ghostbur trailing in after them. Tubbo and Ranboo behind him each equally drenched in seawater and kelp. The only people of their group still somewhat dry was Tubbo and Ranboo’s adopted son Michael, and Tommy’s little son: Shroud. The two little boys were in little towel hoodies. Michael in a little pig hoodie, and Shroud in a black spider hoodie. Both of them were only wet from splashing in the water.

“Ranboo dragged me right inta the ocean an’ tried ta drown me!”[13] Tommy shouted in an angry huff as Tubbo placed both the young toddlers into a little playpen behind the service desk.

“You dragged me in,” Ranboo reminded sharply.

[LAUGHTER]

“I smell like sea grass an’[14] [BLEEP][15]!” Tommy groaned.

[LAUGHTER]

“[BLEEP]!”[15] Shroud shouted happily.

[GASPS followed by LAUGHTER]

“That’s right,” Tommy stomped over to pick Shroud up who was babbling happily. “[BLEEP][16] you Ranboo!”

[GASPS followed by LAUGHTER]

“That’s—” Ranboo started. “Come on, I’m just trying to help.”

“[BLEEP][16] Ranboo!” Shroud copied him, flailing his arms out, Ranboo flinched in surprise. Tubbo laughed at them.

[LAUGHTER]

Tommy let out one of his cackles. “That’s my boy! Now I’m gonna[2] prove I can do it by myself.”

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

CHANNEL 6

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

Thomas walked through the park with his boyfriend Nico right next to him. “I don’t know, Virgil’s just been making me feel so keyed up all day.”

“Well what’s been going on recently,” Nico was trying to think up a way to help him after everything he’d confided to him.

“I don’t know,” Thomas said. “Virgil is actually working with Janus, and they never work together. And Logan says that we’re in some kind of fake—”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. you’re

2. going to

3. you

4. doing

5. for

6. So, you got a reason to be here or just wanted to get out of the house?

7. Your

8. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.

9. want to

10. One of them, yeah, why?

11. You have something to say, say it

12. have to

13. Ranboo dragged me right into the ocean and tried to drown me!

14. and

15. shit

16. Fuck!

[nanbaka-82]

No one asked and no one will probably read but here’s songs that remind me of some of my most beloved hypmic boyos (Yes I wrote this at five am and I was being biased) Alert this is very long and shitty don’t read if ya don’t wanna get a brain rot and I advise you not to break your mind before 2nd drb.

Bonus up top:

All Stars + Kotonohoto:

- This Is The Moment - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

CLASSIC LOVE IT KEEP GETTING DRB VIBES

- I’m Ready - AJR

THIS IS LIKE DIVISION ALL STARS VS KOTONOHOTO

Yotsutsuji:

- Three Thirty - AJR

IM NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE AT ALL but since he’s a character that we never really got to understand and analyze, or maybe the fact that he was put falsely into his comatose state pains me.

“You start thinking about the clock ticks, you get nervous, you start stressing, so how am I supposed to fit this, in three minutes, and thirty seconds?”

“Listen to my aching heart. Quick before you skip the song. We are human after all. And we. Don’t. Stay. For. Long”

Naughty Dialogue/MCD +:

- Bang - AJR 

JUST LOVE THE VIBE 

“I’m way too young to lie here forever (IchiKuko) I’m way too old to try so whatever (SamaSasa) so come hang! We’ll go out with a bang!”

- Partners in crime - ft. Ash Costello

The vibe too! Idk I really like it!

- A Bud Like You - AJR

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT FITS THEM EVEN MORE HELL YES

Naughty Busters: 

- Rope - Kulick

“I keep slipping on down but I can’t let go yet”

Pain 

- Kids In The Dark - All Time Low 

 “They left us alone, the kids in the dark, to burn out forever or light up a spark, we come together, state of the art, we’ll never surrender, so let the the world sing”

More pain but cute 

Mad Comic Dialogue:

- I’m Not Ok - Weathers 

HHHHH THIS SONG IS ONE OF MY FAVES

“IM JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE FUCKED UP LIKE EVERYONE ELSE”

- Weak - AJR 

“But I’m weak, and what’s wrong with that? Boy oh boy I love it when I fall for that” (fall for each other those Lil gay boiz)

- Broken -lovelytheband 

“I like that you’re broken broken like me, maybe that makes me a fool?” (sasa)

“I like that you’re lonely lonely like me, I could be lonely with you” (sama)

“There’s something tragic, but almost pure, think I could love you, but I’m not sure” (sama)

“It’s something wholesome, it’s something sweet, tucked in your eyes that I’d love to meet” (sasa)”

- Rose Colored Boy - Paramore 

Y e s 

- Sober Up- AJR

“Hello hello, I’m not where I’m supposed to be, I hope that you’re missing me, cuz it makes me feel young”

*Cries in SamaSasa*

“Won’t you help me sober up? Growing up had made me numb, and I wanna feel something again. Won’t you help me sober up? All the big kids say I’m drunk and I wanna feel something again. Won’t you help me feel something again... how’s it go again?”

“And I wanna feel something again. I just wanna feel something again. (My favorite color is you)”

“Can I finally feel something again?”

*Cries in SamaSasa again*

Otome (I’m so in it for her):

Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez 

Just. Her backstory. Shit. 

Fling Posse:

- TMD (Talk Me Down) - R & R 

This song just reminds me of the overall relationship between fling posse! I’d make an edit but I’m lazy and sad 

- It’s On Us - AJR

(Honestly AJR is my emotional anchor and it’s obvious)

“It’s not your fault you don’t feel safe it’s not your fault so don’t take blame (no it’s on us)”

“We can try together, make it right together, we can fight together, it’s on us, though your trust is stolen, though your heart is broken, you are never broken, it’s on us” 

“We know what we need to do we’ll be there it’s not on you”

Now da main course:

Samatoki Aohitsugi:

- Karma - AJR : 

THAT PART WHERE ITS LIKE “Where the hell is the karma?” HNGGG

- Can I Get a Witness - Sonreal :

OKAY hear me out:

“I fell in love with you cuz you made me feel, I fell in love with you cuz you kept it real, but you changed up on me, you changed your flow, and now I’ve been hating on you every where I go”

BASICALLY YEAH AND THE REST OF THE SONG TOO

- Honest - Nico Collins 

No comment... 

- Middle Finger - BOHNES 

Oh god I love this song 

“But I refuse to let you make me feel like I can’t fly, not only will I soar again, I’ll own the fucking sky” 

“Livin like a riot, setting off the sirens, fists are clenched I’m fighting, soul has been ignited, ain’t got time for dying, I’m too busy thriving, more than just surviving, heart is beating violent”

And just so much more, this song reminds of his spirit that no matter how many times it’s been broke down just won’t give up, and I love it

- Little Poor Me - Layto 

“I tried hard you know I care, I care, I care, just a little poor me, just a little poor me”

The way he protected what he loved with all his heart, Sasara and Nemu, yet, he still lost them at the end. 

Jyuto Iruma:

The Car - Nightly 

Idk why it fits him—the feel of it I guess 

Ramuda Amemura (maNy but I chose):

- Rabbit Hole - AViVA 

Gives me the feel where he drags people down with him but wants to escape 

- Hypnotized - AViVA

I DONT EVEN GOTTA FUCKIN SAY IT

“Can’t you see you’re hypnotized? Locked inside those eyes. Now don’t you go out at night, you’ll end up hypnotized”

“Look into my eyes find it so appealing look into my eyes send your body reeling, now you’re hypnotized, drag you down down down”

Gentaro Yumeno:

- The Way - Layto

Not so sure about this one—but 

“New Speak, show and tell, this will be my hardest sell, wise men, always say, sadness raps in golden plate” 

Reminds me of how he was bullied and unsocial in school, also how his care takers were elders and made him happy 

- 100 Bad Days - AJR

“A 100 days made a hundred good stories, a 100 good stories make me interesting in parties” 

NSJSBSJJSISS LISTEN IT F I T S

Dice Arisugawa:

- Disaster Party - MAGIC GIANT

FUCKIN-THIS SONG IS SO DICE STFU AND

“You’re a brave heart, but you’re broken, and an Angel, but you’re choking”

THIS REMINDS ME OF HOW DICE SILENTLY ACKNOWLEDGES GENTARO AND RAMUDA BUT DOESNT PUSH INTO THEIR BUSINESS! WHAT A GOOD BOY WE HAVE oh and

“Throw away all your money” hhhhh

- I’m Not Famous - AJR 

Reminds me oh how he could have been literal royalty but decided to say fuck it

Hifumi Izanami:

- Echo - Crusher-P

We don’t talk about why I link this to fumi 

- Oh oh and there’s this part in Parents - Yungblud, “Hi nice to meetcha! Got nothing to believe in! So tell me when my breathing, stops-“ idk it reminds me of his phobia and past 

- Make you Mine - Public The Band

HHHH HES SOFT BBY OKAY 

Doppo Kannonzaka:

- Isolate - SubUrban

“Segregated, situated, hanging on, sophisticated, liberated, nauseated, I just want my medication, individuality and blue lights give me headaches, I’m not changing for the better, I’m just changing clothes on weekends”

Need I say more?

- Come Hang Out - AJR

I personally love this one 

“Come hang out cuz you’re outta your mind, you’re working so damn hard, you forgot what you like, come hang out, don’t you leave us behind. But, I’ll be there next time”

“Come hang out cuz you’re missing your life”

“Should I go for more clicks this year? Or should I follow the click in my ear?”

I feel like this song is from everyone who cares about him which is also me—

Jyushi Aimono/Hitoya Amaguni:

- Crybaby - Melanie Martinez

ABSOLUTELY NOT SHIPPING but the part where it’s like 

“I look at you and I see myself”

Makes me cry because I remember how Hitoya lost his brother to bullying then you have Jyushi so he wants to help the little boy live his life and achieve his goals, unlike his brother, sadly

Sasara Nurude:

- My Play - AJR 

Fucking. Just watch the official vid. That’s all. It’s about parent divorce and slaps.

“When I show you my play, will you pretend you didn’t know, if I make a mistake? It’s gonna get really really really really bad, before it’s okay. But maybe you’ll forget it all, while you’re watching my play” 

- Rose Colored Boy - Paramore 

OHH BOY I WROTE A WHOLE FIC ABOUT THIS ON WATTPAD 

- Istanbul (Not Constantinople) 

FUNNY FUNNY SONG CLOWN LIKE FUNNY FUNNY 

Rei:

- Hushh - AViVA 

Fucker got one. 

“Hush Hush, keep your pretty mouth shut, hush hush, lose your inhibitions”

- This Ain’t A Scene It’s An Arms Race - Fallout boy

Like HeLL.

“Fitting you with Weapons in the form of words, and don’t really care which side wins, as long as the room keeps singing that’s just the business I’m in”

“I’m not a shoulder to cry on, I digress, I’m a leading man, and the lies I weave are so intricate, oh so intricate” 

If you read this then congratulations why the fuck did you waste your time

[thewilddreamerrr]

Skam Italia Review

The intro. So fucking good and spot on. I loved it

Ele not being around, just having a blast with Edo is *chef kiss*

I squealed when I saw the boys, but specially Marti. I missed my son😭

Also... what's in that drawer Marti??? SHARE WITH CLASS!!!

Elia confessing to Sana was... surprising but cute? Idk I thought he looked like a puppy there and it was sweet. Also his fuffly hair melt meeee

I saw someone idk who sorry call the ballon!squad, the rose!squead and that's official now, they all cute, funny and I would die for them

Marti and Sana. That's it.

Malik you're a sweetheart and we're thrilled to have you

Marti and Robbe said earing rights and i respect that

Filo being everybody’s adopted dad lol

Malik x Sana flirt, man it felt so natural, and the religious conversation was also so good, Malik expressing his lost of faith for what happened to Luai

Sana starting to feel left out💔

AND blocking malik (i don’t want these meme)

Ele, even in the distance, she’s still the voice of reason, my beautiful lovely girl

I’m in love with Rami, damn

‘‘Somebody that i used to know’‘ brought me back to my 16 year old self and i appreciate that. And the use of that song during that moment Nico x Luai saw each other after so long, poetic cinema y’all

Btw Luai i give you 5 stars on booking because you’re a walking dessert my man

Jelous!Marti got me all hot and bother not gonna lie it might be the fact that i have an undying crush on Fede but oh well but i’m also pissed as fuck because of the fight goddammit

Gio x Elia created a band?? YESS

the Eva x Fede moment while Gio watched from afar. Why must you hurt me this way?

THE JANITOR!!! i love that guy

.......Marti did what now?

i never thought there would be a time when an Isak would broke up with an Even. THE NERVE RAMETTA

oh fuck Luai💔💔 But also the fact that he’s openly gay with his friends and even has a boyfriend?? the power that has has-

quarantine mood: Marti laying on the couch with a pizza box on his chest, sulking while Filo calls him out on his bullshit

Sana x Marti chillng, watching movies, eating junk food? yes and thank you

THEIR TALKKK

Marti calling himself her best friend, i won’t argue against that (and neither did Sana thank god)

‘‘Marti’s bisexual’‘ lol as if

Sana’s audio made me sob fuckkk

Bracciano, the solution to everything

Federica snapped and it was glorious. Girls united once again (i love how they handled the whole girl drama)

Marti... for fuck’s sake gO KISS YO MANS

AAAAAHHH THE MESSAGESSSS

let Nico eat his cake in peace

oh,,, OH HIDE AND SEEK SO NICO CAN FIND MARTI!!! i want friends like them *sobs*

Gio’s answer to everything: throw them in a room and lock the door

....damn fede....

well at least this served as a motivation to get her shit together and study harder

Malik’s going to france to visit a cousin... as in... Sofiane maybe??

Malik-ism. Where do i fucking sign?

I love the fact that all the Yousefs are sweet cinnamon rolls to good for this world, bless their hearts

now ep 10 wooooh

Luchino the artist. i like it

oh god. OH MY GOD I SAW SILVIA’S BOOB WTF

Silvia’s dad can suck my nonexistant dick for calling her fat jeez

‘‘I’ve been waiting for two years. Get in line’‘ - Giovanni Garau, ladies and gentlemen

Federica is really out there trying her best I LOVE HER!!!1!

FILO DOING A HIV TEST👏👏

holy fuck when it gave negative i started crying, i can’t even imagine his relief

i’m so glad Filo has someone like Ele as his sis, i breath for them🧡

okay, Niccolo still uses that tiny brick as a phone, good for him

i always loved that scene in the OG when Even calms Isak down, i’m happy they brough it up here

lol the girls vandalized the wrong car😅🤣

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

no emma don’t ruin this god

....so public sex huh?

They ended it how it started with Eva x Gio, nice circle closure

I loved the season what can I say

This got longer than expected lol

[lonelypond]

Au Yeah August: Cafe Quarantine, Part I

NicoMaki, Love Live, 9.1K, 1/2

Summary: Nishikino Maki is working at the Nishikino Hospital's coffeeshop to learn customer service from her boss, Yazawa Nico. Then coronavirus shuts down the coffeeshop and they decide to quarantine together in the Nishikino mansion.

Cafe Quarantine, Part I

The small 24 hour coffee shop in the lobby of Nishikino Central Hospital was silent tonight, the lights lowered for a calming, post midnight atmosphere, everything serene until a loud groan echoed throughout the lobby.

“I’m in hell.”

Sure Nishikino Maki could do math, but math with her sexy spitfire “boss” present, whose glances lingered and practically licked? Nope. Inventory attempts were failing, boxes were falling, Maki was faltering.

“Throw the binary in the trash, along with that apron you just burned a spot through.” Yazawa Nico’s voice snapped.

“What?” Maki muttered through her fingers.

“That apron’s ruined. And no binary choices, no hell, no heaven, no good, no bad, no straight…”

Maki could get into no straight.

Nico continued, being unable to read Maki’s mind or face, “no crooked, no up, no down, and…” huge inhale, “don’t even get me started on black and white.”

Maki raised her head from the facepalm pose to stare, “What the fuck?”

“No binaries. Supports the oppressors. You know…” Nico winked, “the idle rich.”

Maki huffed and pointed the scanner in a random direction, “I am not idle.”

Nico stepped up to the counter, leaning forward until the scanner connected with her chest, “One Nico Ni, number one cafinista in the universe. And that’s not where Nico’s bar code tattoo is.”

Maki’s eyebrows scrunched at the same time as her mouth opened in shock, “You have a bar code tattoo?”

Nico rolled her eyes and grabbed the scanner, “Nico likes the morning shift better.”

Maki glanced at the wall. 2:07. “It’s morning.”

Nico shook her head, “Before your parents decided you needed customer service training, Nico had the morning shift. But you can’t be trusted with actual customers yet.”

“Yes I can.”

Nico put the scanner on the counter, “I had three complaints yesterday, one of them from a woman crying after you yelled ‘make up your mind, ditzy you’.”

“I didn’t say ‘ditzy.’”

“What did you say,”

Maki frowned, trying to remember, “Make up your mind, didn’t you…”

“Nico would have failed high school hwith grammar like that.”

“She cut off my sentence.”

Nico sighed, grabbed a cupcake, pulled down her mask, and sat at a table, pointing across from her. Maki sat. “Your parents think you’ll make a better doctor if you learn some empathy and basic courtesy.”

Maki kicked the table, not disturbing Nico at all, “How does pushing addictive substances on hyper caffeinated rude and rushing zombies teach me empathy?”

“How much coffee do you drink a day?”

Maki mumbled, her arms crossed over her torso, perpendicular to Nico’s glance.

“People might be inclined to forgive some awkwarrdness,” Nico licked icing off her finger, “I mean you’re super hot, so some of them probably aren’t listening…”

“What?!?!?!?!” Maki spun, angrily facing Nico, “how is that not sexual harassment?”

“Do you want Nico to say you’re plain?”

“Discussing my appearance at all is the problem.”

Nico leaned back and closed her eyes, licking some icing off her lips. Maki grimaced. This is why she was in hell. Nico. Tossing compliments like they meant nothing while doing extremely provocative things that shouldn’t register on Maki at all, because Nico was just her annoying, very temporary boss.

“Why do my parents like you so much?” Maki whined.

Nico laughed, “You think making me supervise you, o queen of cold, means your parents like me?”

“Ha. Funny.”

“Nico is good at her job, charming, and always helpful. Maybe they want you to be more like Nico.”

“No.”

“No?”

“I don’t want to be more like Nico. I don’t want to be anything like Nico. I don’t want to be here.”

“So go home. Nico was all set to have a doctor-patient role playing session so that once you go back to college and med school you’ll be able to talk to people without freezing or flaming up…”

Maki had stalled on role playing, “You wanted to play doctor?”

“No, Nico wants to open the coolest jazz cafe in Chicago, once coronavirus gets cured.”

“I like jazz.”

Nico sighed and pulled up her mask, “So leave big tips after you…” Nico’s arms swept out in an gesture that embraced the whole of the building. Nico’s demonstrativeness was one of the things Maki liked about her, there was no mistaking what she meant. “But Nico’s break is over. Go home. It’s a slow night. Nico will see you next week.”

Maki frowned. There was a lot to inventory. But she was all fumbling and grumping and Nico’s voice had started to tighten. And Maki didn’t want Nico yelling at her like so many of the customers did.

“I get a lot of things right.”

Nico nodded.

Maki slumped. “Can’t you teach THEM empathy?”

Nico patted Maki on the head, “Nico tries.”

###

Back on Monday. Nico had Maki cleaning every spare minute. There was an entire cleaning staff, with teams specifically assigned to the cafe, but Nico hadn’t been happy with their work for weeks. So Maki was wearing the apron she’d burned, her sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and was scrubbing metal racks while Nico flirted with customers. Amazing how much charm Nico could glow with in even 30 seconds of interaction. No one seemed to mind the slowness and the six foot gaps when Nico was the goal. Maki grumbled as she scrubbed. Med school was going to be easy after Yazawa school.

“Hey, Maki.” Nico called out. Maki spun. Nico pointed to the nose region of her mask. Maki breathed out and she felt fabric shifting. Hers was slipping. Damn. She put the rack down to dry and adjusted her mask. The behind the ears got painful so she’d found a style with a toggle and had her parents order them for the cafe. Nico had insisted they say “SMILE.”

“Hi, Dr. Nishikino!” Nico said brightly.

Maki turned to see her father walking in. He deliberately locked the door behind him. Maki could tell he was worried.

“What’s wrong, Papa?”

“The cleaners who work in here have tested positive. We’re going to close it for a week of deep cleaning. And all the employees need to self quarantine. We’ll also offer testing.”

“Ha!” Nico snorted, “Nico told you it wasn’t clean enough.”

“Is that really what matters?” Maki’s thoughts had started to race through had she had any symptoms, had Nico been almost coughing, was either of them running a fever.

“No, what really matters is that Nico might have taken the virus home to her siblings. And my mom. That would be bad...so bad...Nico’s going to have to stay away...and…Cocoro will have to cook and...Nico’s place is so tiny....”

Maki's suggestion was quick. “Stay at our house. We have extra rooms. I’m as likely to have been exposed as you.”

“So we give each other more germs?”

“All the space will help. Masks will cut down transmission possibilities. As will surface cleaning. And opening windows for ventilation.” Dr. Nishikino said, “As long as you both stay asymptomatic….although your mother and I aren’t really there much, Maki.”

“I know.”

Nico was surprised by the down note in Maki’s voice, but D. Nishikino just nodded as if it were a familiar one.

Nico was pacing, talking to herself, “Cocoro can cook a few things, Mama will be okay, if Nico thinks quarantining might be trouble, Cocoa will be so bad at it...uuugggh” Nico stomped, “Okay, but Nico cooks.”

“Sure.” Maki brightened at that demand.

“Good. That’s settled.” Dr. Nishikino pulled out his phone, “I’ll have the car drive you there and if you text me a list of food you need, I’ll have it delivered. And if you develop any symptoms, let me know at once.”

“Thanks, Papa.”

He smiled as he unlocked the door, “Just be careful, girls. I’ll call you, Maki.”

Maki waved. Nico was still pacing.

“What am I going to tell the kids…”

###

Maki heard a muttered “I’m in hell” and spun to be greeted by a Nico sparkle smile and the gesture.

“Nico Nico Nice place. Suits Nico.” Nico closed the door behind her. “Where does Nico stash her stuff?” Nico bounced her custom camo pink messenger bag on her hip.

“Um…” Maki hadn’t really been thinking about practical things. She’d spent the car ride over trying not to kick anything or fidget too much. No conversation. Anything she thought about saying involved the coronovirus survival percentages her parents had recently been obsessed with so she just hummed. Nico always had something to say, at least for the three months Maki had been working with her. Yes, for Christmas this year, Maki’s parents had decided to give her a demon boss while she took a sabbatical to decide on her degree path.

“It’d probably be easier if we were on a different floor than my parents, if we actually have it. Better for isolation.”

“Nico just needs wifi, her laptop, phone, and a Bluetooth speaker system. And your kitchen.”

Maki’s phone pinged, her father answering that where to sleep question.

P: Your mother and I are going to stay in a hotel suite near the hospital for a couple of weeks at least. We need to plan for a surge. The staff will be in to clean three times a day.

Maki sighed. “They’re going to stay near the hospital. They think there’ll be a surge. So you can just take the room down the hall from mine.”

“Thanks.” Nico sounded subdued, it was odd to hear her like that. “Is it really bad?”

“Well, you’ve been following the news, right?”

Nico shrugged, “A little. I know China and Italy are bad.”

“My parents have to plan for the worst case scenario so they’ve been paying careful attention.” Maki sighed, and turned into the media room, “Me being exposed…”

“Parents get extra worried.” Nico tossed her bag on an empty chair and stretched out her legs.

It was a much more complicated situation than that, Maki knew, with her father probably recalculating everything if the virus had gotten as close to their relatively safe social bubble as Maki. But Nico sounded sympathetic so Maki didn’t correct her.

“What are you making me for breakfast?” Maki

“A nap.” Nico stretched back with a huge yawn.

Maki laughed, “Good idea.”

“Always listen to Nico.”

“Can’t commit to that.”

“You will.”

“C’mon.” Maki grabbed Nico’s bag, “Let’s head upstairs.”

###

10 a.m. Four hours was a pretty decent nap. And nowhere to go for a couple of weeks. Maki grinned. Lots of time for piano. And whomping Rin in MarioKart. Thank you, online gaming. Was Nico awake yet? Maki glanced, the door to the room she’d given Nico was closed so no clue there. Maki could at least start coffee. There’d been donuts on the list so that was a breakfast start if the driver had come back.

Singing and talking were coming from the kitchen, as well as other noises. Maki stopped in the doorway, watching Nico chop and dance along the length of the counter as she carried on a conversation.

“So the rude smart doctor needs you to teach her how to cook?” A young voice sounded confused.

“That’s right. Dr. Maki can’t cope without Nico.”

“What happened to the last chef?”

Nico stepped back, arms crossed, and tilted her head toward the phone. Maki couldn’t see her expression, “Nico doesn’t ask.”

“Smart thinking, sis. This way the Nishikinos won’t make you disappear.”

“You got it.” Nico waved a cleaver at her phone. Maki assumed there was a “Nico has everything under control” wink involved. Then what the other voice had said actually registered.

“We’re not some kind of crime family. We own a hospital. It’s been in the family for more than a century. We save lives.”

Nico jumped, the knife falling to the counter, “Maki!”

“Hi, Dr. Maki. Nico’s going to fix you. You’re so lucky.”

Maki came up behind Nico and glanced down, a miniature Nico was smiling up at her and waving

“Hello.”

“Maki, this is my sister Cocoro. Cocoro, Nico has to finish Maki’s breakfast.”

“Don’t let her yell at you, Sis.”

“Nico’s got this. Don’t worry. Talk to you soon.” Nico closed out the call and spun to confront Maki. “Hey, it’s rude to eavesdrop.”

“I didn’t know I was walking into a call.”

Nico leaned back against the counter, “Well, if you walk into another call, don’t mention quarantine. I don’t want to worry my siblings.”

“But…”

“No buts.” Nico didn’t even let Maki finish her thought, let alone her sentence, “I told Mama, she’s going to keep them mostly at home, Nico didn't visit last weekend, it’s Spring break anyway, everything will be fine.”

Maki waited.

“So if you talk to my siblings, Nico is teaching you to cook.”

“What if…”

“We are not getting sick.” Nico turned and picked up the knife, pointing to a pile of minced white chunks, “Garlic, your new best friend. Every meal.”

Maki scratched her neck, “Shouldn’t you actually teach me to cook. Just in case…”

“Yeah…” Nico’s face jumped through all the phases of thoughtful, “Cocoro might quiz you. Okay, Nico will come up with a few simple things...I’m assuming by your inability to properly warm up cookies, you have no kitchen skills.”

Nico remembered every little incident, even from Maki’s very first week, when she’d been on the afternoon shift, the line of customers had gone out the door and everything she touched had shattered, imploded, or sprayed whipped cream over Nico’s apron. “The oven was broken.”

“Nico was almost broken, trying to cope with Maki’s trail of destruction, like Tokyo after…”

“Please don’t.” Maki raised a hand, interrupting what she was sure was a Godzilla reference. While definitely a Godzilla fan, Maki was not awake enough for a pre breakfast recanting of her inabilities. “What are you making?”

“Omurice, although no leftovers so instant rice. Do you want hot sauce?”

“Anything tomato will do.”

“Good. Nico doesn’t like spicy so this way we can share.” Nico grabbed a nearby bowl and whisked the eggs. “What do your parents eat?”

Maki shrugged, “Fast things. Breakfast sandwiches. They’re usually gone when I wake up.”

“Well sure, you work the night shift. You probably go home and go right to bed like Nico, then see people when you wake up.”

Maki opened the refrigerator, not replying to Nico. Fresh squeezed orange juice. She took the carafe out, “Want juice?”

“Yes. And you can set out plates wherever you want to eat.”

“Okay.”

“Nico will find you.”

Maki perched on a stool, pouring juice into two glasses, “Here’s fine.”

Nico glanced over her shoulder, “Makes it easy. Nico doesn’t have to look.”

“So do you see your siblings often?”

“Spend weekends there sometimes. Nico’s not dating anyone so…” Nico wiggled the spatula to the right, Maki not able to read her expression.

“Me neither.”

Nico whistled and waved the spatula to encompass the kitchen, “Somebody’s missing out.”

“Kitchens are usually a third date thing.”

Nico laughed, “Morning after, right?”

Maki considered, realized, and blushed…”no, uh….I didn’t mean that...three’s just a number I picked...I didn’t….”

“Calm down, Maki. Nico is teasing, makes the food taste better.”

“Doesn’t.” Maki muttered, still blushing.

WIth a flourish, Nico flipped the omelette on the platter and spun, presenting it with a wink and a sparkle, “Taste it and see.”

Nico had expected more enthusiasm. Maki was spinning her fork and almost pushing the omlettle.

“Something wrong?”

“You shouldn’t call me Dr. Maki.”

“But you’re going to be a doctor, right.”

“I guess.”

“So what’s the problem. Cocoro’s not going to ask you to take out her appendix.”

Maki stabbed the food, her stubborn glance confronting Nico’s curious one, “”Doctor is a title you earn.”

“You’re smart, you’ll get there.”

“That isn’t the…” Frustration darkened Maki’s eyes as she shook herself and ate a forkful of breakfast. “Thanks. This is…” She paused, swallowed, and took an ever quickening series of bites, “amazing.”

“Nico is number one at everything she does.”

Maki hoped that wasn’t true about catching novel coronaviruses.

###

Maki and Nico were in the music room. Nico had poked her head in there and insisted Maki play some jazz records on the cabinet sized record player. Looked retro, but all the best tech. Maki had opened the windows for ventilation and Nico was lounging on a chaise, singing along with Carla Cook. Maki had chosen the piano bench, but not to play. She faced Nico, not the keyboard.

“So why a jazz club?”

Nico tapped her fingers along with the beat, humming, then swung into her answer, “Nico decides things, NO AUDITIONS, classy, good story for Nico to sell, rich people like jazz and will buy expensive things, Chicago native, hint of blues...Nico’s a people person, the best cook you’ll meet, and the number one ‘interpreter of a lyric.” Nico feels what the audience feels…”

“Didn’t they say that about Carmen Macrae?”

“Dee Dee Bridgewater, Ella Fitzgerald, probably Sinatra, if you like that type,” Nico paused to glance at Maki who raised an eyebrow, “Sarah Vaughn, Meloney Collins, Diana Krall, Nancy Wil...”

“Okay, I got it. Nico knows jazz.”

“Nico knows singers.”

“So how’d you end up managing my parents’ coffeeshop?”

Nico sat up, “It’s a good gig. Nico’s saving lots of money. Always make the bonuses. Well,” And Nico glared, “at least until nepotism kicked Nico out of ‘exceeded expectations’.”

“Surely my parents aren’t blaming you for my…”

“Nah, nah, don’t worry. Nico’s a master negotiator. Your dad’s promised to help me when I’m ready to step out on my own. I’m learning a lot about running a business, inventory, managing difficult employees.”

Maki ignored the tweak. “If it’s your jazz cafe and you’re planning to perform, wouldn’t you hire people for the practical things?”

“If you can’t do it yourself, how are you going to hire the right person?”

“So do you get any practice performing?”

“Open mic nights mostly, weekly TWIG lives. Nico was pretty serious in college, sang with a concert band, chorus in a few musicals, helped out a jazz trio a few times, but they broke up when the drummer took a studio musician gig in LA.”

Maki was watching as Nico’s eyes sparkled, obviously remembering some of her experiences onstage.

“We had to play through a Wisconsin blizzard one Halloween, five hours, no power, just a huge fireplace in this ski lodge until they plowed people out and got them to their buses. Nico slept for three days after that, under a HUGE pile of blankets.”

“You sang for five hours?”

Nico leaned forward, her grin the most natural Maki had seen and the most luminous, “Led singalongs for a lot of it. 90’s boy bands always a hit.”

“So not always jazz…”

Nico raised a finger to her lips, winking as she air kissed. “Shush.”

Maki forgot what her question had been.

“Oooh, this is a fun one…” Nico bounced up, “Tulip or turnip…”

“Sounds like a bad recipe.”

Nico waved Maki off with two fingers and continued to sing, “Sapphire or sawdust, champagne or just home brew, tell me tell me tell me, dreamface, what am I to you? Rosebud or rhubarb, diamond or doorknob, filet or plain beef stew, tell me tell me tell me, dreamface, what am I to you?”

Nico stopped, ruby eyes demanding a reaction from Maki, who began to feel feverish. Probably not a virus though. Just needed a little more air to move through the windows, cool things off.

“Am I Dreamface now?” Maki drawled.

Silence for too long and Maki started twirling a strand of hair by her ear, then Nico doubled over with a huge laugh that echoed, even in the open room, “Sure, Ms. Modesty, you can be Dreamface.”

“So what would you be?”

“Bankroll.” Nico echoed a word as Carla Cook continued.

“Pragmatic.”

Nico started going through albums. “So are we just going to listen to jazz for two weeks.”

“Sure.”

“That was way eager.”

“But you like jazz.” Maki left the “and I like jazz” unspoken.

“Jazz isn’t the only thing Nico likes. Nico didn’t even like jazz at first. Nico likes sunshine and movies and K-pop and K-dramas and Nintendo and talking to her friends and cooking for her family and dancing and cute girls and…”

Maki would have listed jazz, long bubble baths, taking flower photos, and staring at the stars, but that just sounded like cliched, boring please date me desperation that would be laughed off any dating app.

“Hey, Dreamface, Nico asked what you like. Besides jazz.”

“Tomatoes.”

“Tomahto.”

“Either will do.”

Nico giggled.

Maki, suddenly bold, decided to share the thought that had just thudded into her head. “Let’s make a Quarantine Cafe.”

Nico tilted her head, “Explain.”

“You sing,” Maki turned to the piano, “I play, we stream on TWIG…”

“And Nico gets so many new fans…”

“Yeah.” Maki found her enthusiasm fading at that thought, but Nico was spinning around the room.

“This is a great space. The acoustics are amazing, Nico will find the perfect spot for lighting….don’t have the right clothes, but maybe Eli could bring my things over, yeah, we could definitely start something…”

“Eli?”

“College friend. We took dance classes together. She’s great. Her wife’s so nosy it’s in her name, but Eli’s a sweetheart. Let me text her.” Nico pulled out her phone, typing quickly.

Maki decided it was time to switch albums, no lyrics, just Ahmad Jamal and his piano.

“Eli’s in. She’ll drop a few things off when she gets off work so we can start tonight…” Nico paused, “if you want.”

Maki turned, leaning back against the cabinet, flexing her fingers. “I’ll check my schedule.”

With a laugh, Nico sat on the couch, patting the seat next to her, “Tell Nico what you like to play.”

###

“You’re a loser!” Rin shouted in headset as King Boo sped by Cat Peach.

“Just crossed the finished line, how is that a loss?”

“You had to shell me. You can’t win without shelling. You suck on turns.”

“I do fine.”

“You never brake.”

“You never beat me.”

“Play me with no shells.”

“You got it. Pick the course.” Maki flicked through screens. She and Nico had developed afternoon habits. Nico would sit at one end of the media room and video chat with everyone she had ever met anywhere and Maki would be at the other end of the room, playing Switch games with Rin. Maki hadn’t heard Nico say anything for awhile though so she turned around. Nico was lying back, staring at the ceiling, rubbing her forehead. Maki whispered, “Hang on, Rin. Gotta check on something.”

“Ooohh, Maki’s scared.”

“I am not. Go get a drink. I’ll be back.”

Maki slipped her headset off her ears, and went halfway to Nico, “Nico? Were we too loud?”

“No. Nico just has a headache.”

Maki tensed, “That’s a symptom, take your temperature, are you feverish, do you need…”

Nico sat up, almost smiling, “Calm down, not a doctor, Nico is fine. I just haven’t been sleeping well.” She looked around, “This place is too big.”

“You are too tiny.”

Nico frowned, blinking slowly, her face suddenly drawn and tired, “Nico is perfect and cute and adorable and not up to teaching lessons about how not to be rude right now.”

Maki shoved her hands in the pocket of her sweatshirt, “I can race Rin some other day. Do you need something?”

Nico stood, wincing a little, her response sounded automated. “Nah, you kids are fine. Nico’s going to take a nap.”

“I’m not a kid.”

Nico just shrugged and shuffled to the door, looking smaller. Maki fought the urge to galumph after her. Knocking Nico down because of worry would have been a fail.

“If you order a pizza or something for dinner, save Nico some slices.”

"Okay.” Maki tried for cheerful and just hit loud.

Nico waved, “Win your race for Nico.”

Maki put her headset back on, “Rin?”

“Ready, loser?”

“Nico’s sick.” Maki heard the panic in her voice and hoped Nico was already up the stairs.

Rin whistled, “That’s bad, isn’t it?”

“Maybe.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Talk to Papa.”

“Good idea.”

“Yeah.”

“Text me if you need anything. Kayo-chin and I’ll drop it off.”

“Thanks, Rin.

“Don’t let the Rona getcha.”

“I’ll shell it.”

Rin’s laugh was infectious as the call cut, although Maki added undertones of nervous to hers.

### Nico had looked pale when she’d joined Maki in their #1QuarantineCafe livestreaming set up in the music room, the microphone set in front of the open windows, but as soon as Nico hit record, it was all pep and personality.

“Anybody remember the 50 Shades Of Grey soundtrack?” Nico asked the audience. “So many songs that deserved a better movie.”

True. Maki thought.

“Nico’s going to sing two for you tonight, that Maki and I worked super hard on. So forget Sinatra and Annie Lennox, and definitely forget Mr. Grey and let Nico enthrall you.”

Maki snorted. Nico had been having fun at breakfast running through all the synonyms for magic, but vetoed Maki’s “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered” suggestion, which is how they got on to songs better than the play they’re written for, which is how they got to soundtracks and Fifty Shades of Grey” since Nico also vetoed the Madonna songs from Dick Tracy. And Nico would have totally killed “Sooner Or Later.” Maybe another night.

Maki must have heard her cue and started playing automatically because when she came out of her segue, Nico was halfway through.

“I put a spell on you Because you're mine You're mine

I love ya I love you I love you I love you anyhow And I don't care If you don't want me I'm yours right now

You hear me I put a spell on you Because you're mine”

And then Nico was leaning on the piano. And Maki made the mistake of making eye contact and froze. Nico’s face was layers of expressions, masks sliding on and off one after the other, over a foundation of pale, amused, tired. Mischievous flamed to flirty, flashed to fathomless, smooth sped into spellbinding, charisma crashed through charm, and then curious connected and Maki could speak, stretching her arms across the keyboard.

“Nope. Piano. Mine.”

Nico chuckled, “Not really what Nico was aiming for, goof.” Then the aggressive charm flipped back on for their audience, “And now that we have Maki’s attention again, we’ll give you another track, one so many famous people have done, but Nico will do it better.” As Nico headed back to “center stage,” she tossed a smirk back at Maki, “try not to get so distracted. Nico can give you a private show later.”

Maki blushed and focused on the keys, the frisson down her back making her want to actually bolt. What she really had to concentrate on was NOT listening to the lyrics.

"Those fingers in my hair That sly come-hither stare That strips my conscience bare It's witchcraft And I've got no defense for it The heat is too intense for it What good would common sense for it do?"

"Yeah, that." Maki thought.

###

Nico crashed on the couch as song as she turned off the video.

“Nico?” Maki put the fallboard in place.

“Nico’s fine.”

“Don’t believe you.”

“Did Nico teach you how to make tea yet?”

“I already knew how to.”

“Make Nico tea. Something…”

“I’ll make you the tea I make when I’m getting a cold.”

“Works for Nico, if you don’t get the colds. Is it tasty?”

“Little minty. Kinda bitter.”

Nico clucked. “Bring Nico a cookie too.”

“Okay.”

Time to text Papa. Maki wondered if their tests had come back yet. Surely Papa would have said. Nico had worked all weekend so more potential exposure. Hydration. Maki would bring water. And check Nico for a fever and…

Maki shook herself and sat at the kitchen table, head in hands. What if Nico wasn’t all right?

###

Nico was napping. She'd been keeping to her room. Maki had called Rin, who had jumped at a chance to kick around a soccer ball in the backyard. No hands, masks, no tackling, but at least Maki would be out in the sun instead of waiting for Nico to wake up or her father to call. And then he walked into the backyard.

“Papa.”

“Hey, Dr. Nishikino!” Rin waved and started to juggle the soccer ball.

“Hi Rin. Good to see you being careful.”

Rin saluted, losing her rhythm and chasing after the ball.

“So, positive test, right.” Maki reached down and pulled up her sock.

“Nico, yes; you, no. We should move her to the guest house.”

Maki had already had this conversation in her head, “No. She’ll be lonely. She already misses her family. I’ll be careful, Papa.”

“Has she been wearing a mask?”

“Yes.”

“Is her family quarantining?”

Maki nodded, “But Nico was too busy last weekend to see them anyway.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.”

“Has she contacted everyone she interacted with?”

Maki was tired of all these practical questions, like Nico was some impersonal puzzle, “Yes, Papa. We did everything on your list.”

Maki’s father raised his hands, “I’m sure you did, Maki. I just want to keep as many people as possible safe.”

“So do we.”

A long pause, “How is Nico?”

Maki kicked her heel into the grass, “Headachy, tired, feverish sometimes, doesn’t want to eat, no cough.”

“Good. We’ll hope it’s a minor case. But make sure she stays isolated. She should see a turnaround in the next few days. If she doesn’t...”

Maki didn’t want to talk about that. Of course Nico was going to get better. “How’s Mama?”

“Busy, lots of meetings. Making me listen to operas.”

“Rossini?”

“Wagner.”

“Oh.” Everyone was worried, Maki thought.

“We’re proud of you. You’re staying calm.”

He hadn’t seen her up all night, pacing in the hallway, frantically trying not to open Nico’s door to check for breathing or suddenly wide awake wondering if the slight scratch in her own throat was going to lead to endless, racking coughing,

“You always do.”

“It’s what doctors need to do, especially in situations like this. So we can help people.”

Maki nodded, and waved to Rin, who was waiting for a cue and kicked the ball in her direction.

Dr. Nishikino recognized he’d lost his daughter’s attention, “Well, I have to get back to the hospital. Give Nico my best. We reassigned those cleaners outside the hospital. I should have taken her complaints more seriously.”

“Give Nico my best.” After suggesting Nico move to the guest house. And ignoring her concerns about the cleaners. If he’d actually listened, Nico might not be sick. Nico who had this irresistible energy, a spark that made Maki almost cheerful to be spending hours working in her company, was now a Nico who dragged herself from bedroom to kitchen or media room. And crying. Nico shouldn’t be crying. Nico shouldn’t be sick. Maki shouldn’t be feeling this worried, this useless. But instead of accelerating her medical training, to feel less useless, she just wanted to spend more time playing piano for Nico, to make Nico smile, like Nico wanted to make their audience smile.

“Talk to you tonight. 9 o’clock.”

“Yes, Papa.”

He left with a wave, and Maki flumped into one of the lounge chairs, Rin flumping next to her.

“So…”

“Nico’s got it.”

“You’re fine?”

“So far.”

“Did he want to take you off somewhere?”

“Wanted to put Nico in the guest house. He knows I won’t leave the piano.”

“You said no.”

“I said no.”

“That’s nice.”

“She misses her family. She was crying yesterday. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Hug her.”

Maki turned to look at Rin. “Don’t be stupid.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh.” Maki threw her hands out, “And I’m useless.”

“You’re here.” Rin reached out a hand and squeezed Maki’s bicep, “It matters, Maki. You know it does.”

“Thanks.”

“We forgot to bring out drinks.”

“You forgot to bring out drinks.”

“It’s your house.”

“You want a serving of Rona?” Maki teased.

“Ha! I’ll out run it.”

“You outrun everything.”

“But Kayo-chin.”

“Smart.”

“Yeah, I’m trying to get her to do 5Ks but she won’t.”

“Don’t blame her.” Maki was starting to get cold, even in her hoodie. March wasn’t really outdoor weather, but she was enjoying just hanging out with Rin.

And then Rin did the Rin thing.

“So you going to tell Nico about your crush on your hot boss?”

Maki slapped at Rin. Rin giggled.

###

“Fever.” Nico grumped, her mask covering most of her face. She sat at the kitchen table. The windows were open and Maki was staying more than 10 feet away.

“Tea?”

“Yeah. The elderberry stuff?” Nico asked.

Maki glanced at the box, “That and a bunch of other stuff.” “Put in a little honey.” Doorbell rang. Maki left the electric kettle to do its job and went to answer. No one there, but a big box. Addressed to Nico. With hearts and bunnies scrawled in marker everywhere. Maki took it to the kitchen. Nico had pouring her own tea. “Better leave before I pull down the mask and drink.”

“Yeah.” Maki put the box on the table. “It’s for you.”

“Really!” Nico spun with a smile, then winced, “ah, maybe Nico needs to take things slower.”

Maki took the step back from where she’d reached out to catch Nico.

“Looks like someone had fun decorating the box.” “Oh, that would be all of them. Hey, wash your hands after touching this. If you’re going to catch the coronovirus, catch it from Nico, not being careless.” “Is that supposed to cheer me up?”

Nico shrugged, cutting the box open with her tea spoon. Maki washed her hands, watching Nico, who was giggling and happy as she pulled out containers and cards. “Nico’s favorite cookies, thanks Mama. And Cocoro made Nico some muffins for breakfast. Cocoa probably put extra berries in them...and what’s this…” Nico pulled out a large card, “This is for you, Maki.” She slid it across the table. Maki saw her name on it and lots of music notes and hearts.

“They’ve been watching you play piano for Nico.”

Scrawled in children’s handwriting were “Thanks for taking care of our Sis,” “Hi,” “Don’t get sick” and more carefully written, “I hope Nico has helped you learned to cook well enough that you can survive while she gets better.” “I’m not a child.” Maki growled.

Nico snorted, “What did Cocoro say.” “Never mind.” Maki took the card, “Better have your tea.” “What are you going to do?” “Practice piano for tonight….” “And…” Nico went through the optimal handwashing sequence. “You’re not my big sister.”

Nico laughed, “Nico might manage one song tonight.”

Maki hesitated in the doorway, “You should rest.” “You’re not Nico’s doctor.”

Maki’s jaw clenched. Then she started to speak a few times, breathed out fiercely enough to flare her nostrils, and stomped away. 

###

Nico believed in theme weeks so they were still on songs better than the shows they were in. Which meant Pal Joey.

Nico managed to sing, barely getting to the end of “The Lady Is A Tramp.” It didn’t sparkle.

Maki played a very gentle “I Didn’t Know What Time It Was” as Nico snored on the couch.

Then the song was over and it was Maki alone with the camera. Twisting a curl, she glanced at Nico, but no help there. Even alone by herself, the mood was elegiac. She shook herself, flexed her fingers, and started singing the song that had been looping in her head.

"If they asked me, I could write a book

About the way you walk and whisper and look

I could write a preface on how we met

So the world would never forget

And the simple secret of the plot

Is just to tell them that I love you a lot

Then the world discovers as my book ends

How to make two lovers of friends”

Maki looked straight into the camera, raised a finger to her lips, winked, and shushed the audience.

### 

Nico was feverish and obviously sleeping through all of the day. Maki had managed to get her to sip some soup.  

So Maki had her phone out.

M: She needs to sleep. What do I do about the Café?

R: Play something.

M: What?

Hanayo frequently “eavesdropped” on their text conversations.

H: Keep the theme going. Songs better than the plays or movies they're in.  M: With what? 

R: Kayo-chin’s looking up stuff.

M: Does she want a job?

R: Looking up stuff?

M: Handling the social media.

H: ＼(★^∀^★)／

H: The Bodyguard. 

M: No. I was trying to talk Nico into Madonna and Dick Tracy the other day. I’ll do something from that. Right feel. I can wear my fedora.

R: We should have a double feature night. Dick Tracy and Who’s That Girl. Kayo-chin wants a mountain lion. H: Just text me the TWIG password.

R: Can you sing “always get my man” with a...straight face (∩╹□╹∩) Won’t Nico get the wrong idea.

In her head, Maki could hear Rin giggling until she couldn’t breathe.

Maki spoke as she typed, “Shut it, Rin.”

“Maki?”

Maki yelped and jumped, her phone flying out of her hand.

Nico laughed, then coughed and couldn’t stop. Maki froze, her phone lying forgotten as she stared at Nico.

Cough finally quieted, Nico grimaced, then winked at Maki, but it was a wan substitute for her usual flirting, “So what’s the verdict, Doc? Got a cure or am I gonna die?” Maki couldn’t handle the surge of anger and sadness at Nico’s question, the two huge forces that grappled on her like riptides and started to tear her in opposite directions. And the tears, why were there tears? There must be a lot of tears, Maki could feel them running down her face, sliding into the side of her nose, blurring her vision so she didn’t have to see the shock and exhaustion on Nico’s face above the mask. 

Maki ran out of the room, to her bedroom, to a pillow, to hide her face, to soak her scaredness and sorrow into something, to scream out frustration. 

###

Maki must have fallen asleep at some point. Achey too. She raised a hand to her forehead. No fever. Probably just dehydrated from all the crying. And hungry. Maki rolled out of bed. First, wash face, then change into pajamas. It was still dark out. Then grab cereal and curl up and watch She Ra until she fell asleep again. Serious plan. Don’t think about anything.

Maki stared into the refrigerator, deciding between chocolate milk and milk. The most serious question she wanted to deal with today. Chocolate, along with some super cinnamony cereal with a hint of apple. Yep. That was a breakfast win. Grabbing the milk, Maki turned to get her bowl and there was Nico in the door. Maki jumped again, the milk hit the ground, Maki’s slippers were a fashionable new chocolate brown, and Maki couldn’t hold back a whine.

“Aw c’mon. Why?”

Nico snickered, but carefully. “Does this only happen in the kitchen? Cause it’s too adorable to hide in just one room.” “Be quiet.” Maki picked up the carton, grabbed paper towels, raised them as a shield when Nico stepped forward, “I’ve got this. Why are you up anyway?” Nico breathed out, a dry, raspy sound, “Nico is too dry.”

“Oh, I’ve got a Thermos somewhere. You can take tea back to your room with you.”

Nico’s mask had sparkling strawberries not nearly as bright as her eyes scattered all over striped pink fabric, It was so very Nico. Maki’s mask was functional, hospital issue.

“Where did you get that mask?” 

“Mama sent some cute ones, along with fabric and elastic in the care package. She’s got the girls making them for the neighbors. Does Maki want Nico to make her a cute mask?”

Maki shrugged, “Maybe when you’re not exhausted.”

“Hey, Maki?” Nico's question was so quiet it amped Maki's uneasieness.  “Yeah?” Maki was making the mess a little messier, but eventually absorption would work. Physics always won, right?

“Why do you freak out whenever Nico mentions doctors?”

Maki froze. 

“Are you allergic?” Nico was trying to keep the conversation light, but Maki could tell her tiny, too frail interrogator was fading.

“Kind of.” “Maki.” A demand for more. Maki finished cleaning in a blur of motion, then stood, “My parents are glad to be medical professionals, continuing our family tradition, they love what they do, it’s all they do…” Maki tossed the sodden towels in the sink and sighed, “That’s a lot sometimes.”

“Yeah.” 

“Now I’m going to go watch cartoons and eat cereal. You should, in my I-spend-so-much-time-adjacent-to-doctors-I-know-EVERYTHING opinion, go to bed. Immediately.”

“My little brother is probably up watching cartoons.” “Cotaro is a wise man and will grow up well.” Maki declared with a nod, tucking the cereal under her arm, and picking up her bowl, spoon, and milk, stopping before she stepped into the Nico bubble they’d gotten used to keeping between them.  “May I?”

Nico stepped out the way, with as grand a flourish as she could manage, grabbing the back of a chair when her legs wobbled, but not until Maki was safely down the hall.

###

Nico was still sleeping. Day Seven of the Quarantine Cafe. Hanayo had kept insisting that finishing Nico’s theme week was important. And teasing the next one on TWIG. Maki had spent most of her afternoon, after a brief mid morning nap, arranging two of Madonna’s songs from Dick Tracy into piano arrangements. 

Now Hanayo was on a video feed arguing with her. 

“It’s about branding, Maki. Nico’s been wearing cocktail dresses, you’ve got gowns, wear one.”

Maki froze. She had propped her phone up on a shelf inside her walk in closet. “I don’t want to.”

“Pretend you’re in a movie, Maki.” Rin chirped.

“That’s a great idea, baby. Rin’s right, pretend you’re in a movie. Channel your inner Madonna.” “I don’t have an inner Madonna.” “Channel your inner Pearl.” Rin crowded next to Hanayo. “She wore a suit.” Maki twirled a curl, biting her lip, “I’ve got a tux.”

Hanayo kept pressing. “Wear a gown, like Adora, Maki. Nico will see it when she gets better, but for you it’ll just be playing dress up alone.”

A gown like Adora. Maki had a white and silver gown that she’d bought for some New Year’s Gala and hadn’t had the courage to wear. Nico was feverish, sweating through clothes and now just muttering things that made no sense whenever Maki cautiously cracked the door open to check on her so she probably wasn’t going to be awake for the livestream.

“Like a movie set, Maki.” Rin rolled away from the camera. “Like a movie set.” Maki set her shoulders, “I can do that.”

“That’s great, Maki.” “I recorded ‘Sooner Or Later” so I can just sing.” “Good.”

“Yeah, Maki, don’t think, sing. You can do it.”

“You can do it.”

“I can do it.” And that wasn’t just an empty echo of her two best friend’s confidence boosting. Maki could do it. She could see the scene in her head, just like a movie. And Nico would see it later, maybe like it a little, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. Maki was positive about the music going well. That confidence made the thought of boldness easier.

“Sooner or later you're going to be mine

Sooner or later you're going to be fine

Baby, it's time that you face it

I always get my gal

Sooner or later you're going to decide

Sooner or later there's nowhere to hide

Baby, it's time, so why waste it in chatter?

Let's settle the matter

Baby, you're mine on a platter

I always get my gal

But if you insist, babe, the challenge delights me

The more you resist, babe, the more it excites me

And no one I've kissed, babe, ever fights me again

If you're on my list, it's just a question of when

When I get a yen, then baby, Amen

I'm counting to ten, and then

I'm going to love you like nothing you've known

I'm going to love you, and you all alone

Sooner is better than later but lover

I'll hover, I'll plan

This time I'm not only getting, I'm holding my gal”

Maki finished with a wink, said “see you tomorrow” into the lens, and reached to turn off the camera.

Nico’s voice, at a third of its normal volume, sounded behind her.

“That was…”

Maki whirled, “Why are you here?” “Is Nico under house arrest?” “Yes.” It was a shout, a panic shout, an attack of embarassment. 

“Nico is surprised you didn’t go full be gay, do crime and s and m by singing ‘Hanky Panky.” Full flaring blush, Maki reached for a throw, wrapping up, trying not to notice too obviously that Nico looked disappointed. Nico also looked gray. “You said you’d never heard of Dick Tracy.”

“Nico got bored sometime between shivering and  hallucinating and looked it up.”

“You’re hallucinating?”

Nico grimaced, “Maybe right now. It’s hard to tell.”

“No, this is real.” “Good. Because Nico likes this part.” But there was an odd tone in her voice and she suddenly leaned forward, coughing taking over and shaking her tiny frame. Maki instinctively reached out, but Nico batted away her advance, forcing out words, “Don’t get near me.”

“But you....” “Keep away.” Nico hissed, falling into a chair as the coughing continued. 

Maki opened the windows, sorry she didn’t have a mask handy.

“I’ll get a mask.” “Yeah, we need to keep spares handy.”

“I’ll be right back.”

When Maki returned, Nico was curled up in a ball.

“You’re probably shedding less virus now than before you had symptoms.” “Did your doctor parents tell you that?”

“Yes.”

“Did they tell you how long Nico was going to feel like Godzilla’s tail was on her chest?” “No.”

“You should leave.” “No.”

Nico rolled her eyes, and coughed into the couch.

“I’ll tell the staff to clean thoroughly in here.”

Nico raised her thumb, but refused to turn over. 

It wasn’t silence, was Nico...crying? “Nico?”

“Nothing tastes right.”

“It messes with your sense of smell.” Nico flipped, “DON”T BE A DOCTOR, NOW!”

The NOW echoed for a moment. Maki was briefly glad that Nico had that much air in her.

“Sorry.”

Nico turned away again, definitely crying.

“What’s wrong, Nico, what do you need are you in pain do I have to take you to the hospital should I call…” “Stop.” It was soft, but Nico meant it.

“But you’re cry…” “Nico is scared okay. This is scary. Nico wakes up at night and…” Now silence. Maki had had panic moments too, some of them triggered by the sound of Nico coughing down the hall. So she imagined the panic moments for Nico, who was actually coughing, would be worse.

“I’m sorry, Nico.” “‘S not your fault.” “You’ll be fine, Nico. You’re going to get better. I know you will.” Maki sat in the window, throw falling off her shoulders, staring at the moon.

“Thanks for letting me stay here,  Maki.” Maki smiled, “No reason for us both to be lonely and scared in two different places.” A pause, “So Nico is doing Maki a huge favor.” “Sure.” Nico’s eyes couldn’t stay focused on one spot, Maki felt like Nico was memorizing the details of her dress. “Nico always takes care of pretty ladies.” “Sounds a little pervy.”

“Shut up. Nico was paying you a compliment.”

“Compliments usually start with “Wow, Maki, you’re…”

Nico inhaled deeply and Maki held her breath, but no coughing.

“Wow, Maki, you’re a pain in Nico’s…” Maki laughed, “I’m going to heat you up some food. I’ll leave it outside the door here. Or by your room, if you want. If you have enough energy for this, you have enough to eat.” “But Maki....” “Nope. You’re eating.” “Make it sweet.” “I’ll think about it.”

###

Korean again, really loud. Maki wasn’t sure if Nico was awake or asleep. But Maki was sure that Nico was addicted to multiple Korean dramas. Nico had texted her the list when Maki got curious about why Nico had created a portal to Seoul in the Nishikino’s guest bedroom. There were half a dozen, all with very convoluted plots, mostly involving rude, spoiled, handsome, rich heirs to corporations and the women they refused to admit they were crushing on and let their mother-in-laws harass. At least most of them were hard workers, not propagating the ‘idle rich’ slander. Although, Maki did have a few distant cousins who started partying in high school and hadn’t stopped, even after children. 

She flopped on her bed and texted Rin.

M: Why does she keep watching these stupid Korean dramas with these stupid pretty boys.

R: R U jelling? M: No, I just want to know if the coronavirus damaged her brain.

R: Maki, don’t lie.

M: Rin, don’t nag.

R: Maybe her mom watches them…

M: Hadn’t thought of that.

R: Or maybe… M:  What? She wants a rich, pretty FICTIONAL Korean boy to marry her?

R: (*＇Д＇)ﾉｼ)ﾟﾛﾟ) M: ◔_◔

R: Or maybe…

M: (¬_¬)

R: SHE CAUGHT A REALLY SCARY DISEASE AND WANTS TO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT.

M: oh

M: She’s been crying.

M: I don’t know what to do. R: Play music for her.

M: She’s in the guest room. R: TAKE YOUR MIDI KEYBOARD AND RECORD SOMETHING.

R: ‾͟͟͞(((ꎤˋ⁻̫ˊ)—̳͟͞͞o

M: oh

R: (っ⇀⑃↼)っ

R: You got this. Don’t be scared.

M: Thanks.

M: Good night.

R: Get some sleep. I’m bringing donuts in the morning ~(=^‥^)_旦~

M: (•’╻’• ۶)۶

R: (≧ω≦)ゞ

###

The next couple of days for Maki were a blur of really random text conversations, SheRa, and music.

N: Nico’s really bored.

M: It’s 4 a.m. try sleeping.

N: 4 a.m. means coughing so Nico’s sitting up.

M: Need tea?

N: Nico’s fine. Today was better.

M: Good.

N: What do you do when you’re bored?

M: Play music, play video games, listen to music….

N: No talking to cute girls? M: At 4 in the morning, no.

N: You used to be working at 4 in the morning, like Nico.

M: So you were talking to cute girls.

N: Nico still is ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

M: Was it really a better day? N: Yes.

M: Are you really watching ALL those Korean dramas or is it just background noise?

N: Nico takes fashion notes. Want to see? M: No.

N: Nico’s watching an old one, Tomorrow’s Cantabile, to get better at piano players.

M: Tired of rich, pretty boys already?

N: Oh, Maki, Nico watches the ones where they have sexy, snarky friends who are girls.

M: So what’s Tomorrow’s Cantabile? N: Bunch of weird, music geniuses at college and one pretty boy pianist with emotional scars. You might like it. The music is beautiful. M: You never watch that one when I’m upstairs. All I hear is pop stuff.

N: Do you listen at Nico’s door?

M: Go to sleep Nico.

N: You too.

M: (-_-) zzz

N: ( ˘ ³˘)♥

 Maki woke up to Nico’s ringtone.

N: Why did you give your friend the password?

M: When people talk about “K-Pop hacker-stans” on TWIG, they mean Hanayo.

N: So she didn't really need Nico’s password ; )

M: Isn’t it our password? N: Maki wants ownership? Okay, 70-30, Nico is always the tie breaker.

M: 70-30, me. My house, my piano, my idea…

N: But Nico’s dream. And Nico’s dreamy. I bet you’re dreaming about Nico.

Well, yeah, about Nico unconscious and being swept away in a flood of donuts, coffee, and Korean zombies. Rin really deserved to be kicked for suggesting Maki learn about Korean culture by watching Train to Busan.

N: Nico can do 60-40. And let you pick the next theme.

M: We already did. 

N: Shouldn’t you have told Nico? M: You can sing?

N: Nico is better.

M: ( ¬_¬)

N: I’ve got six hours.

M: You can’t have a fever.

N: I know. What’s the theme, Maaa-ki?

M: *drumroll*

M: Coffee.

N: Jerk.

M: (⊙_◎)

N: You’re trying to get Nico back to work.

M: There’s not going to be any work to go back to for awhile. N: Your dad’s going to keep it going for the doctors. So Nico’s good.

Maki frowned. Papa hadn’t said anything about that to her. She’d have to talk to him. 

### 

6 hours, no texts, no Nico. Maki was looking at herself in the full length mirror in the closet. Tonight, she’d chosen a black dress with slashes of lilac across the torso. She’d gotten many compliments at last year’s Halloween fundraiser. She was going to skip the delicate lilac butterfly mask. Hanayo, of course, wanted to see the look. Maki told her she’d have to wait. Rin laughed.  But Maki was glad Hanayo had pushed her into dressing up. Maki adjusted where the waist sat, smiling at herself. It added an extra thrill, plus she’d seen, last night, that as tired as Nico was, she’d still been paying attention to every detail of Maki’s gown. And there had been all the text exchanges, with a new level of flirty. 

Maki inhaled. She was confident about the instrumental version of “The Coffee Song.” She liked how sprightly it was. But then the mood switch to “Black Coffee.” Hanayo had sent her texts with comments and emails 1Café Quarantine had received. People who were worried about Nico, young men and women who appreciated the mix of upbeat and melancholy, older audience members who were enjoying songs they remembered hearing, a couple of huge Dick Tracy fans who asked if Maki had seen Ishtar. There were even a few musicians who wanted to jump in on the livestream and collaborate. Nico’s dream was working, even without a physical location or selling “expensive drinks to rich people.”

Time to stream. Maybe tomorrow, she’d invite somebody in so that duets could happen again. Hanayo probably already had someone in mind. She was also working on a logo. Maki’s cheer up Nico suggestion was a snowball gathering momentum on a downhill jaunt. 

Sitting at the piano, Maki crossed her legs, straightened her posture, and smiled. Just talk to Nico. Nico will eventually watch this. Maki shivered. Wrong thought, that almost made it worse. Okay, channel that thrill, that love, that draw that music had, just let the song flow.

“Hello, welcome to tonight’s Café Quarantine.”

A/N: Well, the wife requested a coffeeshop AU this @auyeahaugust so I was thinking about how different the coffeeshop experience is now, thanks to Covid-19, and started writing this monster of a fic that just took over everything. Some liberties have been taken with isolation protocol. And the story has reached intermission, but don't worry, Nico's on the upswing.How you?

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #167

Hey, I’m not dead!

Yeah, sorry that took a while. Had a lot of real-life shit to work through, honestly. In any case, I finally sat my butt down to really crack down on yet another fun-tastical chapter. Tomoko’s actually doing what a lot of quasi-incel degenerates are afraid to do in high school and is taking an actual stab at self-improvement. Will karma rear its ugly head, or is the series now beyond that point?

Chapter 167: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Spend My Time Wisely unlike me

This is a really pretty shot and...that’s about it. Real pretty. 

Oh dear! The friendship disease has disrupted Tomoko’s gremlin-like body clock and has her waking up early like a healthy human being!

Reminds of that one Gintama episode. You know, that one with Kagura and the sick kid and you don’t care, do you?

I know Japan prides itself on its cheap, quality goods, but Tomoko is a real penny-pincher, eh? Well, she’s a Gen Zer, so I can’t complain.

Not sure if this makes me sound like a perv or whatever, but hot damn, the detail on this model is stupidly good. I mean, just look at the patterning on that bra. You can really tell when Ikko’s really getting into the art.

They’re really milking the armpit fetish, aren’t they?

Tomoko...sweetie...my girl...

You don’t even have a dick. I mean, sure, you could find it fascinating from a purely educational, not-applicable-to-you perspective. And yeah, I suppose it could be useful if you were to start a sexual relationship with a noncanonical male. But to be honest, I can’t help but take it as more signs of your gender dysphoria here. 

I mean, hey, whatever floats your boat.  

Well, they say kids learn more about practical knowledge out in the real world than in school, don’t they? 

Then again, coughgoogleitcough.

I always thought Tomoko was just having some kind of psychosomatic experience when she talks about being de-energized from a lack of sexual stimulation. 

Now I’m inches from calling that shit an actual, physiological withdrawal.

Ah, the good ol’ days. Back when future prospects felt like a lifetime away and you could spend days on end dicking around, lamenting the need to get serious, and disregarding your resolve right after because you secretly didn’t really care.

...I gotta stop projecting.

Despite Tomoko proving time and again that she can be a crass-hole with a negative outlook on life, it’s when she does childish things like laying your head on your arm when studying and cuddling her plushies that her innocent side pops up and you realize that Tomoko’s a legitimate cutie. 

Fake-smoking? Tomoko, stop! If you keep this up, you’ll turn from a deconstruction of a cute, moe girl to becoming an actual cute, moe girl.

I only just noticed that Tomoko’s wearing a “happy” shirt. Remember when she was sporting the “alone” shirt back in year one? Even her clothes get character development.

Oh, shit. Your girl Yuu-chan talking this whole cram school thing seriously even though she’s at a disadvantage. You see, this is why Yuu is literally the best. Despite being at the “top” of the school clique food chain, she has not once ever felt like “bottomfeeders” like Tomoko and Komi were below her in any way. Sure, she knows they’re weirdos, but she makes those acknowledgments without judgement, and all while putting herself on the same leveling field. She doesn’t love them ironically–she loves them sincerely, and that’s why Yuu is awesome. 

Sorry if this turned into a ramble, but Yuu only gets like, one panel of dialogue nowadays and I wanted to make the most of it. 

Tomoko be raising that “phone-call” flag like a motherfucking chad. 

...

...

...

Oh, sorry. I saw Yuri with her hair down and lost track of time.

...

...

...

Damn, Yuri’s pretty.

Black leggings at home? That’s exactly the kind of conservative attire Yuri would wear and only Yuri could look amazing in. Seriously, If Ikko hadn’t become a manga artist, she would have made a damn fine fashion designer.

And Tomoko be crushing that “home-visit” flag like a motherfucking chode.

I could make a pretty tasteless joke about how “haha, Yuri will never look at you like you’re trash like she does at Tomoko,” but, 

a. it’s just the angle of the smartphone like Yuri said, and

b. you’d probably prefer to get denied like that, wouldn’t you?

I can’t help but wonder if Tomoko realizes just how homoerotic she sounds. Like, does she have any inclination that her borderline-sexual harassment jokes could easily be misconstrued as flirting? Sure, she might be using the old excuse that “we’re both girls, so it’s fine right?”, but given that Tomoko at least knows about LGBTQ+, you’d think it would have at least crossed her mind.

Or maybe, on a sadder note, Tomoko doesn’t see it as flirting because she really does have zero faith in her own attractiveness...  

There is no heterosexual reason for this exchange whatsoever.

Alright, so I’m a dude, so...hell do I know. But do girls typically not wear bras when just lounging around the house? I know Tomoko is the kind to just wear tank tops if she can help it, but I always thought that was a characterization unique to her, and that other girls wear bras for the comfort and support like any other undergarment. I mean, sure, Yuri’s kind of reserved, but I wouldn’t think wearing a bra at home would be considered an oddity, yeah? I ask this out of genuine curiosity, but I’ll stop before it gets too creepy.

Side note, you can officially tell when Yuri gets pissed by her nose crinkles.

I could give a long, analytical spiel about why Yuri didn’t give Tomoko a straight answer and speculate on what she was doing, but I eventually realized the answer was actually really simple:

It didn’t fucking matter to the story.

The last time Tomoko had one of these “I know!” moments, she ended up trimming her pubes on a class trip. But surely Tomoko’s character growth wouldn’t allow something like that to happen again, would it not?  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Adorbs.

Can’t fight awkward with awkward, can you?

Tomoko, what are you playing at? You just said that video chatting was erotic and tried to get Yuri to lewd herself for you. And now you were planning to appear on-screen totally naked and you somehow don’t see any sexual implications for this at all? Finding it funny would be an elementary schooler’s mentality. If you seriously have no confidence in your sexuality, then sweetheart, you need some help. 

You ever notice that Tomoko can lie through her teeth when trying to screw with people, but when lying to be nice, it sounds so phony? I think that says a lot about the kind of person she is.

Ya’ll knew I was gonna add this panel, didn’t you?

I was never one to go crazy about blushing anime girls ‘cause to me, it always felt like it stemmed from some sadistic desire to see girls look uncomfortable. So while I can’t get behind it for reasons like that, I can admit that Yuri’s blush is fucking precious and I think that’s because I love seeing her so emotionally transparent for once. It feels rare, raw and well-earned after all this time, so yeah. A++ 

Oh, Tomoko, if only you knew that skill often has nothing to do with it. Yuri’s not embarrassed because she sucks at humming, but because you saw a side of her that she only lets out in private. Trying to reassure her is a good move, but putting the girl on blast like that is not going to end well.  

I felt like the vibration alone would’ve left a huge-ass crack on Yuri’s phone screen. This whole moment is like eleven tiers of funny because even though Tomoko is probably miles away, the impact of Yuri’s punch still jostles her. It also helps that we can visibly see Yuri’s fist come down mere millimeters from Tomoko’s mug. 

There is no escaping her wrath, Tomoko.

I feel you, girl. For me, nothing beats a good ol’ burger and fries after a hard day of studying.

Careful there, Tomoko. If there’s one thing that studying has taught me (other than I hate it), it’s that you could get serious burn out if you go all-out on the first day, especially if you’re typically not a regular studier. Always make sure to get dem breaks in. 

That sounds like the kind of line you’d see in a mainstream shounen action manga like [ ]. I don’t even have a direct reference here, so feel free to fill in the blank.

Hey, with Tomoko’s luck, I was expecting karma to hit her harder than Truck-kun in an isekai anime, so I consider this a small loss. 

Man, remember when we were young and had ambitions as high as the sky, and we all wanted to change the world by being firefighters, astronauts, idols, and presidents?

Kind of sucks that “financial stability” has become our goal in life as we enter adulthood. Perhaps that’s just the mindset creative-types like Tomoko have towards the STEM industry when it’s hard to see what makes that world so personally fulfilling. 

Oops, my opinions are starting to seep in, so let's move on.

Nooo, don’t do it, Nico Tanigawa Tomoko! Don’t sell out your passions for financial security even though it’s a totally viable career decision! How else are we going to validate the pursuit of our artistic dreams?  

How in the hell is Tomoko balancing that drink? I’m willing to let it pass for rule of cute, but I don’t care how secure that cup is. One wrong move and those practice sheets are done for. 

Jesus Christ, Nemo is on some otherworldly dimension of cute right here.

I don’t even think Tomoko is trying to one-up her or anything. This is already the most effort she’s given to study in a single instance, so I think she genuinely just wants to share this personal accomplishment.

You know, while it’s already been established that Tomoko and Nemo have different tastes in anime, that doesn’t necessarily mean they wouldn’t watch the same show, right? Just for different reasons. While Nemo would watch her cute slice-of-life series earnestly, Tomoko would probably watch them ironically MST3K-style. In any case, it’s a good way for them to find some common ground.

Bruh, Nemo must be over the fucking moon for this opportunity. Think about it: when was the last time she’s had someone to watch anime with her? After concealing her power level for so long, this could be the first time Nemo has had a fellow anime fan to geek out over a series with. And not just discussing it afterward, but actually reacting to a live episode together.  

Nemo may give Tomoko all kinds of shit, but this is actually what she wanted all along, wasn’t it?

Boy, Tomoko sure gets pretty demanding when she’s sleep-deprived, huh? I’d hate to see how loose her inhibitions get when she’s stark-raving drunk.  

Is this referencing the Quintessential Quintuplets anime? I don’t know anything about it other than that’s a kickass title.

Hey now, Tomoko, beggars can’t be choosers. Let Nemo give you the play-by-play at her own pace. She’s even acknowledging that you hate the source magazine without a hint of judgment. She’s gonna go places.

At first, I thought all this recent armpit content was just an incidental joke. Then I thought it was the mangaka slyly inserting their fetish into the series. Then I realized the series turned the joke on its head and made it a meta-reference about their very thing their readers were accusing them of. 

Well played.  

You ain’t slick with that leg service, Nino Tanigawa. Just sayin’.

Seriously though, I love the dynamic going on in this conversation. Tomoko and Nemo are approaching the discussion from different outlooks, the former looking at it from a degenerate’s perspective and the latter looking at it more optimistically. But even so, they’re not trying to “get the upper hand” like they might've done before. They’re simply having a totally organic talk about what they do and don’t like about the series, while still recognizing each other’s personal preferences. For once, it’s completely devoid of passive aggressiveness and it really shows how earnest their friendship has become.

At some point, I think Tomoko’s consumed so much near-pornographic content that pretty much all anime, manga, VNs, etc. looks like the same hentai to her.  

Every fiber of my being says that this is a reference to Komi-san Can’t Communicate, but it could just as well be the mangaka shooting themselves in the foot for a good joke. In any case, I do like how they point out shy, socially awkward girls is a rising trend that borders on romanticizing communication problems. 

Does that make Watamote a hipster manga since it did the whole “social anxiety girl” shtick before it was cool? 

I wanted to make a pretentious joke about how basic that anime sounds and how I’m so above a show that panders to the masses, but even I like junk food, so I’ll spare you the hypocritical humor.

If Ucchi caught a glimpse of this, she’d probably explode right on the spot.

I spent a good five minutes trying to decipher how Tomoko’s sleeping expression could be seen as “happy”, and I realized that it’s not that she looks happy. It’s that she doesn’t look unhappy. I’d imagine that those plagued by anxiety and stress have it evident on their face when they sleep, so the fact that Tomoko fell asleep in relative bliss must mean she’s had a pretty satisfying day. To top it all off, this is one of the few times someone–and Nemo of all people–has seen Tomoko in all her vulnerability. 

And you know what? Nothing bad happened. No punchline undermining the moment, no sarcastic quip, no embarrassment. Just genuine sweetness and it really speaks to the series’ faith in its heartwarming moments.

As a final note, I just wanted to thank everyone again for their patience. I’ve been trying to put a fresh spin on this, making it a little more comedic since its honestly getting harder to “analyze” without constantly repeating myself. It’s a lot of fun, and I hope you guys enjoy it for what it is.