#nico rosberg aka britney

[punisherinthealps]

the PAN DOWN AND ZOOM IN???? i’m sick

[blorbocedes]

every time an f1 driver has described nico rosberg as beautiful (aka he had that whole grid questioning to the point they had to call him the hottest female pop star Britney to cope)

Proud Heterosexual Mark Webber:

Jenson Button:

Sebastian Vettel:

Lewis Hamilton:

[rosezii]

F1 Drivers and why I like them (in no particular order)

This is coming from a fan that got into F1 in 2024, primarily through 'Drive To Survive' and dear-ao3's insane F1 2024 masterpost

Sir Lewis Hamilton

Hes the only one I knew from before I became a fan, 7-time world champion, best of the best, an activist, super cultured, smoking hot, seems pretty chill, great fashion sense, did I say smoking hot?

Also one half of the most compelling dynamic in f1 aka brocedes, i heard hes making a movie about this like ??? Im invested

Idc which team hes driving for im literally always cheering for him

Nico Rosberg

World champion, dad, britney, obsessed with Lewis Hamilton, very interesting in commentary box, all around cool guy

Other half of f1s most compelling dynamic

Alex Albon

Cutie patootie, also survived the red bull second seat curse for a whole year and a half so hes the most talented imo (ik checo has also done it - idc)

hes also born in the same year as me so that makes me very very biased (also delusional!!!)

Appendix-less!

Carlos Sainz

Also appendix-less!

Smooth operator

if f1 was a kpop band he would be my bias for just being my type of guy

Seems chill, handsome, funny, love his friendship with lando, his rivalry with oscar and his (faked?) dynamic with charles

Im so sad he got kicked outta ferrari but alas it was because of THE sir lewis hamilton so i cannot complain too much

Kevin Magnussen

I liked him on DTS, i think hes a girl dad?

I liked Haas as a whole, such a shame they crashed and burned for like 6 years straight

This year hes driving petty and im here for it like yes this is the entertainment im want

Im also petty as hell so I feel kinship

You gotta be the force of chaos you want to see in the world

Daniel Riccardo

My poor little meow meow he made such a bad decision leaving redbull but Hes still in an f1 car despite it all and hes always smiling and has a positive outlook so yeah props to him

I hope he gets his red bull seat back one day

Max Verstappen, Charles Leclerc, Lando Norris, Oscar Piastri, George Russell

I just grouped these 5 because i have the same opinion on all of them, which is that they seem like nice chill dudes, and theyre all great drivers

I do wish ferrari would stop sabotaging their boy tho, isnt charles supposed to be their little prince or something??? Act like it

I really like charles dog leo, what a cutie

Also george russell's got great style, also i like him cuz hes the drivers union president

Fernando Alonso

Force of chaos force of evil what can i say i just like villanous men (we're on tumblr what do you expect)

Lowkey hoping his car is FAST next year so he can cause problems on purpose

Valterri Bottas

Drive fast, show ass, whats not to like

Honorable Mention: Gunther Steiner

Whyd you fire him bring him back he did nothing wrong

(he did in fact do many things wrong)

(I havent mentioned anyone else from this season because I just dont know enough about them to have any opinion or I dislike them)

[twslug]

gonna answer all the q's of that one post i rbed like two days ago or something, answers below break if u gaf (really not groundbreaking info)

answers start here:

that i don't have to do a lot of things (both academically and in my personal life) that i don't want to do but pressure myself to do anyway. a lot of things really and truly Do Not matter

isolating myself due to anxiety or aimless frustration that i don't have an outlet for,,, big fan of Being locked in a room for hours

fav self care is skin care/workout and good music, i'm listening to my girly pop playlist post-workout (current song is toxic by nico rosberg aka britney bitch, so just envision these mentally ill answers with fergie and britney and katy perry and rihanna in the background)

most vivid memory is definitely not a visual memory, i've got some memory loss so i don't remember much of anything about my life. HOWEVER i have an echoic memory, so i really latch onto peoples' voices. i looove f1 with all the different accents and languages (lowkey linguistics hpfx) so i can have drivers narrating my thoughts. charles's voice is super imprinted on my brain because he has a very unique (imo) speech cadence and choice of wording in english, same for max (both verstappen and fewtrell), lando, and other random celebrities or youtubers or irls or characters etc etc.

would like to recieve some emotional/social support, was kind of pushed to the side because my brother is more extroverted, better at school, had asthma and ocd and several food allergies, but i was left to my own devices because i was much quieter and in the background.

have always wanted to be able to take academics into my own hands, as per the last answer, i am very quiet irl and have a hard time asking for help so i spend a lot of schooling teaching myself, so i've mastered the ability to put my head down and succeed by myself but at what cost yknow, i cant even speak to professors or other students

apathy. chronic, neverending, borderline infectious apathy. im very stubborn so if my brain has become apathetic about something then you will never get me to care about it, even if i myself want to

rly gets to me when people are mean to people i like, for an f1 example, idk i like a lot of the drivers but seeing people be blatantly mean to them (criticism and affectionate jabs are Fine) really makes me feel upset and/or almost ill, i get rly anxious for some reason like i'm the one being insulted

no i don't cry. not really (back to the playlist, family ties by baby keem just came on TURN THIS SHIT UUUPPP) anyway i dont really cry, lots of apathy, forced to be the quiet kid etc etc

have done lots of improvement on my body image and having confidence in what i say/believe, esecially in a family setting, lots of my problems are from childhood and being overly quiet/shy, so i rly struggle(d) with speaking my mind but now Nobody has anything on me, my moms dad was a county sheriff and i openly rip on cops in front of her like fuccckkk off u made me like this

was very mentally ill at the time (was also during covid, so i was really mentally unwell), and they had their own problems, ended up having a rly toxic relationship. neither of us had redeeming qualities, said some things we shouldn't have, like mutual punching bags

wish i could connect to my new roommates for this upcoming college/university semester, again: very bad at talking to people, maybe it will be better when we all live together (copium)

POLITICS TIME: i get irrationally angry at people who know nothing about the US south, i live here and it pisses me off when most political "hot takes" about american southern conservatism are boiled down to classism and/or racism, drives me fucking insane

i only like affectionate teasing if i know you rly well or the jab isnt something im insecure about, but im a bit of a hypocrite because i playfully insult people all the time, good rule of thumb i follow is just never go for appearance, all makes u look like a dick

prefer to be numb, because even though its one of the worst things to ever happen to my Cranium, i have a really easy time letting things go and not being upset over things i should probably be upset about. its kind of peaceful when u come to terms with it

talent ive overlooked/lost is ,,,,,,, i actually dont know, i think ive honed the things im really good at, i was really good at being a stage manager in school theatre (was assistant director and stage manager for les mis in 10th grade, bitches love my organizational skills), maybe i pick that up again somewhere

call me seb vettel the way i really liked dark blue in the but switched to loving bright bright #ff0000 red, like the brightest u can get... good shit... Also british racing green forever and always

my stuffed animals :-) no harm in keeping them, i suppose

well this ones easy because i dont like talking about infodumping about the innerworkings of my Psyche but here we are, i feel a bit bothersome, hence this entire post being hidden under a page break ..

LAST ONE (current song playing is dancing in the moonlight by king harvest, for those of u following along athome), i believe people think im much kinder than i think i am. if that makes sense. i know the things ive said to other people, about other people, about myself, etc, and i just feel this kind of imposter syndrome whenever people say they think im rly kind or fun to be around because i know deep down i am miserable and evil and nasty... And dont even hit me w that "bad people dont care that theyre bad so u caring makes u not bad" no no no, thats the thing, i dont care . i am Evil... ebil,,,,,, Deomn evil

[mistressemmedi]

Such a shame that Max F seems so well-adjusted and sane because I’d have loved him to do a Nico Rosberg (aka a public therapy sesh) on his next twitch stream, but alas, there’s only one truly unhinged burned ex-lover around the paddock, Britney gets to keep his crown 😂

Monaco man, being the fancy man he is, scheduled his public breakdown in a sponsored biergarten in Italy.

Max, man of the people, will schedule his breakdown in some pub in London. Potentially stream it on twitch for us because he's just that nice.

[formulinos]

you know why i can’t hate on my good bitch Princess Britney aka Nicholas Erik aka Nico Rosberg? because from day one he always made it clear that the title wasn’t just his, but also his wife’s. he is the first to talk about how vivian supported him in the sacrifices he made all season and also sacrificed one year of her own life. she got on the radio and he said “nuppy, we did it” to her. it’s their title. i’m on my feelings

[formulahigh]

we had Britney aka Nico Rosberg and now we have Madonna aka Nico Hulkenberg 

[fencergirl13]

made this (may i add: at 2 am so please appreciate it ‹3 ) for my sweet sweet @shwartzwoman63 ❤️ i hope this is the very first thing you see in the morning bc i promised you i'll have it posted by then ‹3 thank you for the challenge, i enjoyed it so much and learned a lot about eye colours and heights ahaha 💞

so may i present you the coolest zombie apocalypse team ever:

i am the commander yee haw 😼

my co-commander

is my one, my bae, the love of my life, her royal highness princess britney the blond, aka nico rosberg my beloved ‹3 and yes he totally counts as a driver fight me bitches ‹3

my communication specialist

is the beautiful charles bc I don't trust him with anything that requires braincells ‹3

my medical specialist

is Alex bc he can heal everyone with that smile and he can take care of us like he does it with his cats and yes he counts as a driver period ‹3

my explosives specialist

is val bc he's the only blue-eyed driver i trust with something that is detonable sorry maxy ‹3

my scout

is danny bc he ‹33 and i can totally imagine him going all ninja hiiiiyaaa ricci boi ‹3

my engineer

is george bc i need a smarthead in my team bc its full of these beautiful idiots ‹3

my blacksmith

is kimi bc he would not give a fuck and would kill all the zombies and save us and say no worries its only his hobby ‹3

my cook

is seb my beloved bc if he cant cook then no one can and i lose all my faith in humanity and also his co-cook is my sweet hubby (platonically you know bc brocedes supremacy) britney bc he has such a housewife energy ‹3

my scientist

is pierre bc he has already invented the eat-pasta-drive-fasta thingy so im certain finding a vaccine for the zombie outbreak is only one tiny step from here ‹3

my entertainers

are danny and lando bc i could not choose between my sweet papaya boys ‹3

my lookouts

are mick piggybacking yuki bc together theyre over 160 cm i make the rules here sorry becky ‹3

my guard

is carlos bc i need strong arms to protect me and also i'll have him around all the time so i wouldnt mind my guard being handsome ‹3

my hunter

is my little lion max bc this role just fits him perfectly and i cant leave my baby lion out ‹3

my supply organiser

is lewis bc i know he would manage everything perfectly and wouldnt let us starve and also he needs to be in the team bc brocedes ‹3

apocalypse team

built your apocalypse survival team. you have written role, and the description that driver should fit in, you just have to choose a driver! this is primarly directed on F1/2/3 drivers but i think that it should work for other motorsports too!

Commander: you

Co-commander: driver over the age of 22

Communication Specialist: your fav driver with even number

Medical Specialist: your fav driver with odd number

Explosives Specialist: driver with blue eyes

Scavenger or Scout: driver over the height of 175cm/5’8ft

Engineer or Mechanic: brunette driver under the age of 30

Blacksmith: brown eyed driver over the age of 28

Cook: either someone under the age of 24 or over the age of 32

Scientist: driver with white based suit

Entertainer: someone you find very funny or smiley

Lookout: driver with an odd number over the height of 165

Guard: brown eyed driver over the height of 170

Hunter: german or dutch driver

Supply organiser/manager: your fav driver with brown eyes

reblog with your team, do you think you will survive?

roles are from fandom

[punisherinthealps]

lewis dragging that tractor into p3 as soon as nico shows up in the paddock 🤨

[punisherinthealps]

had to screen record this because tiktok wouldn’t let me save but jesus his gay little scarf is actually killing me 😭🙏🏼

[punisherinthealps]

nico rosberg calling lewis the GOAT multiple times in under two seconds

[punisherinthealps]

frenchie reunion so good that it made me miss brocedes so now i’m rewatching the 2016 season

[punisherinthealps]

there’s brocedes everywhere for those with eyes to see 🙂‍↕️

[punisherinthealps]

i’m sorry everyone PAUSE ✋🏼 and look at what i was just given for my birthday 😭

literally my new prized possession

[punisherinthealps]

HELLO??? BROCEDES INTERVIEW

[punisherinthealps]

holy shit just remembered nico’s at silverstone today 😭