#nice legs daisy dukes makes a man go
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purple-petrichor · 10 months ago
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NICE LEGS DAISY DUKES MAKES A MAN GO (ZUBAT NOISES)
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THAT'S THE WAY HE COMES THROUGH LIKE
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iwantofall · 8 months ago
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dont believe ive posted these dukes yet
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theelf-art · 2 years ago
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I think I should know How to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out Now, L-O-V-E's just another word I never learned to pronounce How do I say I'm sorry 'cause the word is never gonna come out Now, L-O-V-E's just another word I never learned to pronounce
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yingren · 3 months ago
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" do all idiots back up their most homoerotic comments by saying no homo or is that saved for the violently annoying ones ??? "
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n7viper · 2 years ago
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@greypetrel and @demandthedoodles tagged me to make my OCs in this lil picrew, and y'all know I'm a sucker for those. Here are my girls Maeve and Mihri :3
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tagging: @cleverblackcat | @melisusthewee | @moss-flesh | @sulky-valkyrie | @idolsgf | @zenstrike | @mattressdemon | @full---ofstarlight
if anyone doesn't want to be tagged, just let me know! you won't hurt my feelings 💖
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inklingofadream · 1 year ago
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heartbreaking: hannibal fanvid from like 2013 wiped from the face of the internet
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nachosforfree · 1 year ago
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SLUT
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benbamboozled · 2 years ago
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This is an edit (in the original he’s wearing black pants and someone recolored them lol)—
BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE.
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WHEN DID HE DO THIS??? WHY DID HE DO THIS???
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willownwisp · 10 months ago
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nice legs, daisy dukes.
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i. nice legs daisy dukes makes a man go woo woo. (vendetta!leon x fem reader) author's note: like every responsible writer, this is not proofread because i run on my delusions and being thick faced. i write and call it a day. first entry of my valentine's advent, yayyyy! i tried to overcome my intense fear of dialogues because i know i suck at it omg please tell me if i did well, likes are vv appreciated! cw: nsfw. r18, MDNI PLS. fingering in public.
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Leon feels like a creep, scratch that. He definitely looks like a creep. He probably looks like a thirty-six year old man waiting for a hot coed, because he is. He pulls out his phone to relieve himself of the slight shame, sends a dry text because he doesn't understand the purpose of an emoji. Never did. In his day, texts used to be enough and it was hot that you could send a coherent text with those small ass phones and even smaller keypad.
He leans against his Ducati looking like a fucking dick with an elaborately decorated box of pastries in hand. You've been eyeing the newly opened pâtisserie from across the street. He can be sweet when he wants to be, because he knows you're obsessed with those "instagrammable" treats. It gets him good boyfriend points because you matter, you're his sweet little bunny. The sweetest.
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You're sweet when he sees you from the flood of students exiting the campus gates in your pink mini dress and a matching cardigan, a flood of warmth washes him, in his mind there are compartments. Store the trauma in another space deep inside his brain, and the other space a section of just you, he tucks away the image of you in this mini dress.
It's definitely going in his favorite outfits you wore.
You're sweet when you visibly perk up at the sight of him in all his 5'11 glory, beaming at him as you literally run towards where he stood. God you're just adorable.
"Lovey!"
Your sweet voice cuts through the idle murmur as you stand before him, and Leon looks at you with that soft gaze. You look like a bunny. A giddy one. The ribbons you wore on your hair come to view now that you're near, and the sight of your shapely thighs put him in a spell.
"Bunny, are you surprised?"
He replies with a smug smile.
"Uh-huh!"
You nod with a soft giggle, a faint blush dusting on your cheeks.
"We don't usually have lunch together…"
You add, the smile on your face is practically inextinguishable as you squirm. You're so fucking cute. He thinks before he brings up the box of pastries, presenting it to you like a cat gifting his owner a small trinket. You squeal before throwing your arms around him in a hug.
"Lovey! How did you know I wanted these?"
You ask and he chuckles, of course Leon would know. Who wouldn't when your social media is full of your ravings about the place, but he plays it off cool.
"I just did, bunny. Boyfriend senses and all."
That reply earns him a giggle from you and he's whipped. Your dainty hands grabbing the box as you mouth a small 'thank you' and his arms wrap around your waist. Lifting you up like nothing as he seats you atop his Ducati, like the pretty princess that you are.
"Where are we going, lovey?"
You ask, but the words fall on deaf ears for as soon as Leon had lifted you up in his hands, he's already thinking of ways to feel you, properly. The way your mini dress hikes up your thighs as he looks down to peek at your legs, he hums an acknowledgment to your question, his hands snaking from your waist to your thighs just where your mini dress ends. His thumbs rub lazy circles on your skin , before he lifts his head up to give you a cheeky grin.
"Anywhere bunny. Let's get out of here, yeah?" You nod obediently and he pulls away, giving your head a soft pat as you tell him off to not mess up your hairstyle and he rolls his eyes, takes the time to put your helmet on because he's a gentleman. "Hold on tight bunny." He'd say as you hug him from behind, the whole bike ride was silent as he speeds through traffic, only for the both of you to end up in a deserted park, right at a secluded spot just hidden behind trees and park picnic tables. Leon gets off first, taking off his helmet before turning his attention on you. He takes off yours only to be greeted by your confused face. "Are we having a picnic, lovey?" You ask, and he only gives you a smile before pressing his lips on yours in a sweet kiss. "If that's what my bunny wants." There's a teasing lilt on his voice as his hands wander up to your thighs, his calloused palms rubbing up and down, and you get an inkling that it was not picnic time. "Lovey, don't do that… we're in public…"   You tell him off shyly but he only quirks an eyebrow. "It doesn't really matter when we're all alone, yeah?" His voice is husky as he bring his left hand to grip your cheeks gently, his thumb moving to trace the outline of your lips. "We'll be fine bunny." He assures you as the hand that rubs down your thigh inch higher, and higher until the pad of his fingers kisses your clothed pussy.
"I've always taken care of you haven't I?"
You respond with a whine, it's hard to resist when he gets like this. All over you, hands, and close as he possibly can.
"Lovey…"
You call out to him one more time, teetering on the edge of a protest or a plea for him to go on. Leon bits his lips as he rubs your clit slowly, stimulating you before he rains chaste kisses on your face. A kiss on your forehead, a kiss on your cheek, on your cute nose, and a peck on your lips, because you're his baby. He treats you like a ceramic décor, because your precious and fragile.
"Use your words, bunny."
He responds as he slowly feels your cotton panties dampen underneath his fingers, your clit swollen with need and he feels you heating up.
"Lovey, I'm wet…"
You whine again as you squirm beneath him, your grip on the handle of the box tightens up as your free hand claws the leather seat.
"Want me to help you, bunny?"
He coos as he uses his index fingers to tease your clothed pussy, rubbing it up and down the slit as your insides flutter.
"Uh-huh, please lovey."
A satisfied grin eases on his face before he eases his fingers off of which earns him a sad whimper from you and confused look before he shakes his head.
"Suck."
He orders, bringing in his digits to your mouth which you happily oblige to. He grunts as you wet his fingers with an experimental lick, you could taste yourself from his fingertips before your mouth covers his index and middle finger, sucking on it like a lollipop.
The sight sending electricity straight down to Leon's dick as he pulls his fingers out, giving your lips a short kiss ass your reward before his fingers find their way on your inner thighs again, tugging your panties to the side as your pussy kisses his wet fingers.
Leon being the tease that he is, traces your slit, up and down while his thumb presses on your clit as you instinctively spread your legs more to give him room.
"Lovey, don't tease!"
You whine in his ear once more and he chuckles. Two of his thick fingers plunge down your pussy with an embarrassing squelch as you gasp and Leon chuckles.
"She's speaking to me bunny."
He hums happily as his free hand move from your face to your thighs, keeping your pretty legs spread as it should as his fingers thrust in and out of you.
"Lovey…"
You moan, your one eye closes as you watch his hands move, looking down at his busy hands as your slippery pussy gives him enough leverage to slide in and out easily, while his thumb rub on your swollen nub.
"Yeah, bunny? You like that? Can fill you up right, yeah?"
He speaks to you, but you're too dazed to respond as your walls clench around him and he groans. Tipping his head forward to kiss you again, swallowing your moans as you make an "mph" sound as your lips crashes with his. You tilt your head to allow him to deepen the kiss as he slips his tongue inside, tasting your sweet mouth.
 "Ah—ah—" You moan as you part, his fingers not letting up. "You like this?" He whispers in your ear, his husky voice making your toes curl.  "Getting you off after school with my fingers?"  
"Ahh!" You moaned, shoving your hips against his pumping fingers. While his other hand skillfully unbuttons your cardigan's sole closed button before tugging your dress and bra together to reveal your breasts, before proceeding to licking on your nipple. "You're loving this, aren't you?" He rasps, spreading his fingers and pressing his thumb harder on her clit. "Being talked to like this? It gets you off even more, doesn't it, bunny?" He teases you before proceeding to hunch over to suck on your nipples, with his fingers just knuckle deep inside your pussy as your legs lock around his waist, the heels on your sandals digging on his back but he couldn't care less. Your sweet, sweet sounds as he gets you off, your luscious legs around him. God, he could cum from that alone. "Come on, bunny. Talk to your lovey." He teases again, a shit-eating grin on his face as he curls his fingers on that one sweet spot as you throw your head back and your walls clench his fingers in a vice grip. "Fuck, bunny. Can feel you squeezing tight. You're close, bunny?"
He asks but you only respond with a breathless moan as you tremble. He scissors his fingers inside you, alternating between spreading your pussy and curling his fingers and it drives you crazy. He leaves a bite mark around your nipples before he straightens his back to look at your disheveled form. Smirking at the fact that your cardi has slipped off your shoulders and your breasts heaving with your mini dress hiked to your waist.
Looking proud of himself, he captures your lips in a deep kiss as his fingers pump harder, you could hear the salacious squelching at how wet your pussy is.
"Come on bunny, cum for me. Show how much your lovey makes you feel good."
He grunts as his hands grip your cheeks, forehead resting on yours as you tighten up and your body tenses before cumming around his deft fingers with your lips parted in a silent scream.
He slowly halts his fingers, smirking as he brings it to his lips to taste you while you gather yourself. Panting and looking dazed at your older boyfriend who now laps at his fingers coated in your essence like a cat as he groans.
"Did I make you feel good, bunny?"
You nod weakly as your head rests on his chest. He only chuckles. He fixes you up. Tugging down your mini dress and fixing your upper half, buttoning up your cardi again.
"Wanna get lunch now, bunny?"
You look up at him as you slowly gather enough coherence to find that somehow in the middle of your indecency with Leon, the box of pastries had slipped from your fingers and is now a mess on the grass, decorating it with fresh fruit and whipped cream as your face falls and you look up at Leon who now sports a look of… guilt? On his face.
"Leon. Kennedy."
Your voice is dangerously low as you narrow your eyes at him.
"This is your fault!"
You exclaim with a pout as you tug on his leather jacket.
"I was looking forward to eating those! What a waste of food and money! Oh god, I feel so bad!"
Leon soothes you as he smoothens your hair with his hands and he kisses your forehead.
The good thing about being thirty-six and with a shit ton of disposable income is that he can buy you all that you want, it's what he intends to for his sweet, sweet bunny.
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sreppub · 2 years ago
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clark in c1? nice legs daisy dukes
makes a man go woohoo
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bemusedlybespectacled · 10 months ago
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I have been on Tumblr so long that ancient memes that no one else remembers are seared into my brain
like I'll be minding my own fucking business and then instead of getting, I don't know, a song or something else normal stuck in my head, I get
NICE LEGS DAISY DUKES MAKES A MAN GO [NOOT-NOOT]
I want to make it clear that this is happening to me all the time. I literally cannot go a week without something stirring the turbid waters of my subconscious until the bloated corpse of a meme from 2012 floats to the surface
me wondering if I eat more fruit snacks:
youtube
me literally any time I ironically laugh at someone else's misfortune:
youtube
I will never be free of this torment
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ouctan-tsuvai · 5 months ago
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NICE LEGS DAISY DUKES MAKES A MAN GO WOO WOO
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chungledown-bimothy · 9 months ago
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y'all remember nice legs daisy dukes makes a man go noot noot? i just did and cannot be alone in experiencing it again
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tonymarias · 24 days ago
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nice legs, Daisy Dukes makes a man go
WHOO WHOO
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ttupelohoneyy · 5 months ago
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Darlin’
Sabine is young, scared, but smart. She gets sent to Colombia through the embassy, to help out the hospitals, and gets housed in an apartment building with other Americans. The DEA agents.
Javier Peña X f!OC
CHAPTER ONE
Sabine Puentes has been a nurse at the army base in Fort Worth, Texas for two years. Why she got sent to Colombia is beyond her...
She's strong, seen a lot of pain and death. She's worked hard and built up respect amongst her peers. But as she sits on the plane, she feels her tears welling up in her eyes. A pit in her gut. She feels like a scared little girl.
Meanwhile Javier Peña sits at his desk, chain smoking.
"Hey, did'ya know im gettin' a neighbor today?" He says, taking another drag.
Steve looks up at him with his tired eyes, "No, I hadn't heard that yet. Is it an agent?"
"No I heard hes a nurse, sent here to help out.
Used to be an army nurse."
"Mhm" Steve Murphy grunts out, "It'll be nice to have someone to patch ya up when you get home, huh?" He pauses a moment to take a drag,
"Whats his name?"
"I don't know, all it says on the door is S. Puentes-Leija."
"He was sent here by the embassy, yeah?"
"Yeah…”
"Well, we can look em up."
Steve flicked through files and files of names and faces... finally landing on Puentes-Lejia.
"Well, that man, the nurse," Steve's voice lowers,
"your, ahem, neighbor..."
Javier raises his eyebrows in anticipation
"Is a woman. A young woman. An attractive woman." Javier snatches the file from between Steves forefinger and thumb.
"Don't do it..."
"I didn't say anything."
"No but you thought something. Shes only 23 for God's sake. Leave the poor girl be."
Javier shakes his head, "Well, on that note, its time for lunch. Want anything?"
"Nah," steve sighs, "Connie packed me somethin.
Javi nods, stubs out his cigarette and walks out, with full intention of going home and making sure his new neighbor didn't need any help moving in her boxes.
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The minutes turned into hours. The boxes where piled high.
“Goddamn it…” Sabine muttered to herself, “I coulda sworn I packed light.”
She starts with the kitchen, laying out a stack of pyrex mixing bowls. Next, comes the utensils, then the tea towels. She unpacks art, photos, and little “monitos” that she has collected over the years. While she was packing, back in fort worth, she decided that she couldn’t minimize her belongings to the point of not making a house her home. A harsh knock on her door inturprs her thoughts.
“Howdy, ma’am…” a handsome stranger starts. His Texas accent was comforting, already she felt not so foreign. “My name is Javier Peña, I’m your neighbor. I, uh, I work over at the embassy, and I thought I’d offer myself to uh,” his eyes trail down her legs, her shorts are in no way revealing, but nonetheless, they’re daisy dukes. “Help ya unpack your boxes. Or maybe uh, offer you any help I could give.”
She smiles while waiting for Javier to finish his run on sentence.
“Well thank you kindly, I appreciate your willingness.”
“Of course…”
After a few moment of slightly uncomfortable silence, she speaks.
“Would you like to come in?”
“Sure, I’d like that.”
He follows her into her kitchen, which is just off the entry way.
“I don’t have much to offer you yet, but i did run by the bodega down stairs. I got two beers and a bag of chips. Want one?”
“Why not? Ill take it.”
“Oh,” she says in disappointment, “got an opener? Im not sure where mine is…”
“No but I’ll do ya one better”
he brings the unopened amber bottle to his mouth, and bites off the cap, then does the same for her.
“Well, I’ll be damned. I’ve never been able to do that.” She shrugs, “ive always been worried i’d crack a tooth.”
“If your dumb enough, anything is possible.” He chuckles in response.
She squats down to sit on the floor, legs stretched out in front of her.
He follows her lead, doing the same.
“So where are you from?” He asks, as if he doesn’t already know.
“Fort Worth, Texas. Y tu?”
“Not too terribly far from you then, well, I guess nothings too terribly far when you live in Colombia. I’m from Laredo.”
“Mm I love Laredo…” she states as she takes her first swig.
So many things are going through his mind right now. First of them being, he just had that bottle rim on his mouth, and now you have it on yours. He feels childish thinking that, like a middle school boy. But he feels closer to you already.
Second one being “Who the Hell likes Laredo?” That one slipped through the corridors of his brain right out his mouth. He’s glad that was the one that slipped by.
She laughed, and it made his chest tight. Shes got a beautiful, loud and clear laugh. The kind that makes people laugh with her.
“Well it may not be picturesque. But y’all’ve got the Rio Grande. Plus, its close to the boarder.” She stops, trying to decide if it was a good idea to tell the rest of the story… she decided yes. It was a good idea.
“Some of my family lives in Laredo, so when I was younger, learning whats right and whats wrong, my cousins and I would sneak out to a lil bar called ‘Restaurante Paris’ in Nuevo Laredo. Looking back it was dangerous as hell, but it was fun.”
He smirks, listening to her story. ‘When she was young’ he thought to himself. He would give his left nut to be 23 again. He smiles dumbly, in a bit of a trance.
Her voice wakes him up, snapping into reality.
“Well, hate to put my new friend to work, but would you like to help me move the couch from downstairs? I know I can’t do it by myself.”
“Of course. That’s what I’m here for.”
She stands up, offering her hand to help Javier up too. He chuckles, she weighs probably half of what he does, but his creaky knees are screaming for him to accept the help.
“Plus,” he thought, “I’d get to touch her hand… There I go again, with the embarrassing middle schooler thoughts.”
He clasps his hand in hers, making a hollow slapping sound as she pulls him up.
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She laid in bed, her thoughts racing. She tried reading a book, but the words she read barely skimmed her eyes, not quite making their way to her brain.
So much to think about- the gunshots, the music, the man across the hall, her family, the empty apartment.
She circled back to the subjects that were swimming through her brain.
“The man across the hall…” she thought again. She starts her new job on Monday, it’s Thursday. She can figure out an excuse to see him again before then. “Maybe I can make him a meal? No. That’s stupid. Well, no. It’s not. That might do.” She scrambled around her bedside table, looking for a notepad and pen.
• steak
•vinegar
• tomatoes
•salt and pepper
•onions
•garlic
•potatoes
She wanted to show that she was not only a good cook, but also a woman that travelled. Lomo Saltado was perfect for that. Sabine decided she would go to the market tomorrow and prepare. Would dropping of dinner tomorrow be too soon? Would that seem desperate? Or would it be a friendly gesture? What if he asked why she made him dinner?
She started to come up with excuses in her head.
“Oh, I just thought I could make a new friend.” No. That was desperate.
“You seem hungry.” Are you serious? That was stupid as hell.
“Im not used to making dinner for only one person, usually I cook for my whole family. So I just thought I’d bring you the rest.” Mmm, better. Remember that one.
“Just wanted to welcome you to Colombia!” No you dumb bitch, you’re the one that just moved here.
She settled on hoping he wouldn’t ask. As she fell asleep, she thought about his hand in hers when she helped him up. “That is a stupid thought.” She said to herself, “you sound like a middle schooler.”
Oh well. It made her giddy with excitement. She hadn’t felt like that in a hot second. It calmed her down to think about the hot DEA agent next door that could protect her.
She woke up to the sun coming through the blinds, horns honking, and the chatter of people walking down the street. She stretched and yawned, reaching for her list. She grabbed the pen again.
•beer
She added that just to bring a little pizzazz to the dinner. Dessert seems like too much, so she just stuck with what she had.
She took a shower, put on a some makeup and decided on a sweet little dress. Right above her knees, and flow-y.
She steps out with her big grocery bags, turning to lock her apartment.
“‘’Mornin’ neighbor.”
“Jesus!” She jumps and turns around to see Javier, standing calmly with a briefcase and mug in tow “you scared the shit out of me!”
“Sorry about that, sunshine.”
“No, it’s fine! I guess I was just daydreaming.”
They stand there, parallel to each other. Eyes locked.
“I, uh… I hope you have a good day at work!” Sabine says, tucking her hair behind her ear.
“I hope you do too. Well, not work. I mean, you don’t look like you’re going to work. So… well maybe you are. I mean, have a good day.” Javier stumbles through his sentence. “Jesus Christ man… what’s wrong with you?”
Sabine laughed a melodic laugh. He smiled in response, relieved she didn’t think he was stupid.
“Thank you. I will.”
They walked to same way, down the same stairwell, to the same gate, of the same apartment building. As she turned right toward the market and he turned left, he one last snuck glance.
“Well fuck me.” He muttered under his breath.
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A pile of papers and files and names and gory, horrible photos lay on his desk. he uses his forearm to swipe it to the side to make room for his mug.
"Hows the new neighbor?" Steve says, moving his legs from resting comfortably on the desk to the floor.
"Fine, I guess. I don't know."
"Don't tell me you didn't see her."
"I mean, yeah, I saw her struggling with the boxes going up and down the stairs."
"bullshit, Peña. I know you were the fine southern gentleman you are and helped her with the boxes."
"Fine, yeah. I helped her move her couch."
"did you help her with any other kind of box too?"
"Shut up, Murphy."
"Peña!" Messina's voice rang through the room. "You were late today. you need to have this paperwork done by 4pm. Understood?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Any leads yet?"
"With all due respect ma'am, I just got here. I'll be sure to update you as the day goes."
Meanwhile, Sabine is overloaded on the bus. Three giant, full bags of groceries, a book she picked up about the local flora and fauna, and a bundle of calla lilies under her arm. Beside her sits an elderly woman, a nun. They smile at each other, it felt poetic to Sabine.
"Buenos dias." the woman said, in a shaky but kind voice.
"Buenos dias, madre." she replied.
Sabine looked out the window, crushed by what she saw.
Absolute beauty.
There were kids walking home from school, kicking rocks and giggling about boys. there was a mother, talking to her friend about the latest goings on, braiding her daughters hair tightly and uniformly while the little girl complained. There was a young man selling bananas on the corner, talking about the car that he's saving up for to this pretty girl, around his age.
It was so contrary to the violence and bloodshed she had been sent down here to help mend. All of these people had lost someone. Most of these people were scared.
Sabine had reached her stop, paid the bus driver with two small coins and proceeded to wobble her way up the stairs. once she had got inside her apartment, she took a deep breath in. It smells nice. It already was starting to smell like her.
She unpacked her groceries, and started to chop away at the potatoes, onions, tomatoes and garlic, slicing the meat and cooking it at a high heat. she fried the potatoes into papas fritas and plated it nicely in a Tupperware container, drizzling its gravy onto it. she put two beers into the big paper sack along with the two containers of food, once for dinner today, one for lunch tomorrow.
she waited until she heard his keys rattle in the lock, and then his door close behind him.
she took a deep breath and *knock knock knock* she waited for just a few seconds before Javier opened the door.
"Hi..." she says with a warm smile
"Hey..." he says back with a softness in his deep brown eyes.
"I made you dinner... and um, I made enough for lunch too, for tomorrow, if ya want.... oh! and there's a couple of beers in there too."
nothing like this had ever happened to Javier. he was dumbfounded.
"Sabine, I, wow... Thank you, you didn't have to do this."
"oh, but I wanted to, its nothing really." there was yet another silence between the two of them. "well I, um... I hope you enjoy it! and if you don't, don't tell me. it'll hurt my feelings." she says with an awkward chuckle.
"I'm sure I'll love it, thank you."
She turned to walk back into her humble abode and he stopped her quickly by saying...
"Actually, do you want to join me? you can have the second portion."
"No, I made that for you! I mean, yes, I do want to join you. No, the second portion is for you," she laughs nervously. "let me just run in really quick and grab a plate, ill be right back."
She turned and went in, leaving the door open in a rush. He stood there watching her run off into her apartment, past her kitchen into her bathroom. He then heard the sink running, followed by the toothbrush tapping the porcelain edge of the sink. She scurried back into the kitchen and plated herself dinner.
"Okay," she beamed up at him. "sorry about that." he looked her over, bottom to top, not so subtly, taking in everything he could.
She was standing before him, in all her glory. barefoot, a little blue sundress, a freckle on her left shoulder, and a strand of curly hair falling right in front of her ear.
"c'mon in, hermosa, make yourself at home."
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ganymedian · 5 months ago
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who remembers when everyone was making those Nice Legs Daisy Dukes songs where they replace the "makes a man go (whistle)" with a sound bite
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